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mysweetland · 2 years

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Sunny and Basil 🌻☀

Let’s talk about Sunny and Basil’s relationship. (Because I’m in too deep but I don’t want to get out).

(Heavy spoilers from Omori, if you haven’t played all the routes the game yet, please don’t read this until you do >.<)

With that being said, this is just my humble opinion, I’m open to all interpretations and I do not wish to engage in a shipping battle, that is definitely not my intention. Idk why I decided to write a whole essay but I love them too much, okay? 😂 also, if you like Omori and Sunflower, let's talk. I have so much to say 🙈

(This turned out very long skngfl)

Okay, here we go:

I’ve always thought that Sunny and Basil’s relationship is very interesting. They are each other’s anchors in a way, have been since they met. I do not think that either Sunny or Basil would ever find what they found in each other in someone else. Though they can be close to Aubrey, Kel, Hero and Mari, there’s some sort of chemistry between them both that can’t be unmatched with anyone else.

Now, I do not mean to say that the other relationships they have aren’t important or that they don’t love their friends enough. But I think there’s some sort of unspoken and natural reciprocity between Sunny and Basil. Whether it’s romantic or fully platonic is up to interpretation, but it’s there.

If we’re talking romantically, then I think this reciprocity doesn’t happen between Sunny and Aubrey, for example. I think that they have a great friendship, they understand each other, Sunny used to listen to her talk and vent all the time and, well, he canonically has (had?) feelings for her. But I fully believe she never reciprocated his crush in real life. There’s no doubt that Aubrey appreciates him, but I don’t think she ever fell for him in that way. And, if she ever did when they were kids, I doubt she does now in the future, where she already has a new group of friends and other things to worry about. Everything that happens in Headspace is fully idealized by Sunny. He wanted her to like him, so he made the version of her that he wanted to see.

Though, well, I don’t think Sunny likes Basil back either canonically but some things I will be talking about next might possibly prove this statement very wrong 😂. Still I think that Sunny regards Basil with a lot of fondness and appreciation that only exists towards him and not towards his other friends.

Anyway, let’s talk about Basil for a moment.

Basil

So… It is heavily implied that Basil has feelings for Sunny. There’s no doubt he thinks of him as his best friend and appreciates him so much that it leads to him supporting him the best he can. I truly think he was and is in love with him and maybe, the fact that he’s been so lonely in the past made him attach to Sunny more than he had to.

We know about this already, it is shown in the game openly in a lot of scenes. And well, the perfect evidence is the way he regarded Sunny as perfect and refused to accept that he was the one who killed Mari…………… But let’s not go here.

Or, actually, let’s go there for a moment. Basil idealizes Sunny a lot, he puts him on a pedestal most of the time and tries his best to protect him and save him (even if he does it wrong in a lot of situations, but he was just a child back then). I have a point to make about this at the end of this, so stay tuned? lmao.

What about Sunny, though? He has some sort of strong attachment towards Basil, he can even idealize him in his mind. Basil is not the only one doing this.

But well… it’s not explicitly told to us. So, for that, let’s dive into the depths of Sunny’s mind.

Headspace

So we know headspace is Sunny’s dream world. The happy place he chose to stay in for 4 years, where everyone loves him and appreciates him, where his sister is still alive and safe. He has not done anything wrong in Headspace, Omori is just a sad boy that has the support of all his friends.

In there, we discover his desires, his dreams and what he thinks of other people. Of course, we see his fears and brief representations of his guilt over Mari’s death.

But why am I bringing this up when I’m supposed to talk about his relationship with Basil? Well…

It’s always been interesting to me how Basil is different from everyone in Headspace. Everyone else is represented by purple and shades of blue, Basil is emerald, just like his eyes. He stands out the most in his group of friends, as much as Omori does.

And you could say that it makes sense because, well, Basil knows the truth, he was there the day Mari died, he “helped” Sunny, that’s why he stands out too. But… if Sunny saw Basil the way he sees himself, blamed Basil the way he blamed himself, he would’ve been black and white in Headspace just like Omori is. A thing that doesn’t belong in that happy and comforting place… right?

Instead, however, he’s pastel. He’s an idealized version of Basil, with no defects whatsoever, a kind soul, always smiling and willing to be there for his friends. It shows after their fight with Boss specifically, when Basil just forgives him and treats him with kindness.

It’s interesting to me that he’s like this in Headspace, because it shows how Sunny sees him and how much he regards Basil in a shiny light, always wearing a flower crown that I know Sunny found attractive in real life. In a sense, DW Basil is perfect.

And not only that but… why is Basil the only one of his friends in Headspace that has an actual house? Well, I guess Kel, Hero and Aubrey have Neighbor’s room and Mari her… picnic blanket (?) but…Hm. I guess Sunny has spent a lot of time at Basil’s house, otherwise he wouldn’t have recreated his house in his dreams, even if it’s a shoe lmao.

Stranger

I wanted to briefly talk about Stranger because of this line specifically:

"On that day... When you became nothing... I was split in half."

It’s brought to my attention that there are two Basils in headspace. DW Basil, the version of him Sunny likes the most, the one he idealizes and the one he wants to look for and keep safe. And we have Stranger, the part of Basil he doesn’t— I’m not gonna say he doesn’t like it, it’s more like that part of him scares Sunny. Stranger encourages Omori to accept the truth, embrace it and that is something unacceptable in his mind.

Stranger is Basil’s cry of help. It makes me think Basil has asked him to help him a million times, makes me think he’s gone visit him at some point and it all ended up worse than ever. Or not, maybe it’s just Sunny’s guilt in the form of a shadow that doesn’t belong in Headspace.

Stranger is the representation of Basil’s thoughts following Sunny into his dreams. The urge for Sunny to leave dreamworld and Omori in the first place.

Saving Basil

At the beginning of the game, after a basic tutorial about how Headspace operates and the battle system, we finally get to see that, behind all that happy and cozy facade, something is clearly wrong. And, well, Basil is, of course, the catalyst. Actually, since you see Basil at the first cutscene, it is evident he’s someone important and you can’t help but be drawn to him and feel suspicious about it. I know I felt that way at least.

Basil is the objective you have to reach in order to “finish” the game. The whole point is finding him and bringing him back safe and sound. Haha, technically like Mario traveling through all the lands to rescue Peach… only more effed up probably 😂.

It’s interesting because… even if you choose to go with the hikikomori route, the objective is the same. In fact, you end up “saving” him. You end up bringing back that part of Basil Sunny appreciates and loves, that idealized version. He even ends up sitting with Mari at the picnic, safe and sound, no battles to be fought. He wants to protect and cherish Basil as much as he wants to protect Mari.

Branch coral said it, Omori confined Mari to a safe space, so nothing and no one could harm her. Not even himself.

I think he sees DW Basil in the hikikomori route in the same way. He puts him there, to protect him against all harm. (Intent to forget about the fact that he’s leaving Stranger, leaving real life Basil alone… And I think he successfully forgets all about it). Bringing DW Basil back is some sort of consolation made up by Sunny’s mind, intent on tricking him into thinking he saved his best friend and never left him alone. That’s… so sad in my opinion?

But well, let’s go back to the true route.

It is implied by the Branch Coral that Sunny has had this dream a million times. It's an endless cycle that has been repeating and repeating over and over again and the goal is always the same: To forget, to never accept the truth. But I think that the breach in dreamworld is always Basil. Something happens to him and Omori has to look for him with his friends.

Whenever he reaches Basil, it resets and goes back. And it happens and happens in a never ending cycle. What I want to highlight here is that, at the back of Sunny’s mind, unconsciously, there’s a desire to save his best friend. Even if the trauma has made him forget about what they’ve done and even if he’s frightened of him and what it means to see him again and embrace the painful truth. He still somehow wants to do it.

We’re not told why Sunny decides to get out of his house, he just does, prompted by Kel. But I’m guessing it’s because, well, he will be moving out soon. He will not see his friends ever again… and he will not see Basil.

Maybe he unconsciously knows this is the only chance he has before leaving. Maybe he unconsciously knows that reaching out to Basil is what he has to do if he wants to finally feel at peace. Face the truth, but with him.

I would dare to say that Sunny’s goal after getting out of the house is finding him and saving him. Even if getting there is hard as hell… even if he’s terribly frightened and he’s not able to reach him alone (thank god for Kel, Aubrey and Hero).

And, well, just the fact that Sunny dove into the lake, even if he was afraid of drowning, just to save him says a lot about his true intentions. (Hello, the game asks you whether you will do it or not, but no matter the choice you make, Sunny still does it. That says a lot imo).

Omori

Sooooo…. HUH. Let’s talk about Omori for a second. I’ve heard a lot of people say that Omori hates Basil.

Which… could be true, but not because Sunny hates him in real life or even blames him or anything. Like I said, Basil is the catalyst, the one thing that serves as a crack in the ‘happy’ place that is Headspace. Mari could also be the catalyst, but she’s confined to the picnic blanket… Though we see Hell Mari and various fucked up versions of her in various instances *shudders*.

And Omori, well, he’s Sunny’s caretaker. A caretaker he created to comfort himself because trauma was too much (Makes me think that Sunny has DID (Dissociative identity disorder) in some way, but that is just my headcanon). So, well, since Omori is trying to keep Sunny’s mind at peace, it’s logical that he wants to eliminate what makes Black Space leak into Headspace.

Actually, the only time Omori tries to desperately eliminate Basil countless times is when Sunny is slowly readying himself to accept the truth. Only because Basil has been about to blurt out words about what happened and that is unacceptable to Omori.

Still, well, at the end of the route, Sunny still chooses to chase after Basil and tell everyone the truth. He even fights Omori, the one thing (person?) that has comforted him for over 4 long years… That says a lot. Omori could hate what Basil means to Headspace, but Omori is also Sunny and I know Sunny does not think Basil is in the wrong here, he does not hate him at all. If anything, he hates himself…

The leaks…

When I say I freaked out when I saw the leaks would be an understatement lmao. And I want to bring it up here, because… just look:

There’s just something so incredibly intimate in these photos? They look so close. It’s like Sunny’s desire to relive those moments he spent with Basil again and it just kills me sifbfl.

And I’m honestly surprised it wasn’t added in the main game. Well, I guess we will be getting it on the switch version 👀, but I’m not quite sure yet? Also! The fact that an animation of them releasing energy for a fight exists is so surprising to me. Does that mean that you can choose to fight alongside him over Sunny’s other friends? 👀 hmmmm…. Why is it only him you can do that with? My guess (a very biased one and I’m sorry) is that Sunny sees Basil as someone he can be alone with, someone he can spend time with and feel understood and safe. It aligns with what I said at the beginning: their connection is unique, they understand each other the most.

But well, I’m bringing this up specifically because it shows the dynamic of their relationship or what Sunny highlighted and liked the most about it in his mind. It’s so cozy and nice and… sigh, it’s so sad that their relationship got strained like that.

String of fate?

Opening this with: there is no heterosexual explanation for this and I’m so sorry. (Actually there could be, but let me dream.)

"He is special to you. A string of fate ties you two together. He cannon leave that place alone."

But jokes aside, UH…. What even is this phrase the Branch Coral says? And what does it mean for Sunny to be dreaming about it?

Over the years, the only string of fate that has been talked about is the red string of fate, which unifies you with your soulmate, the person you’re destined to be with. And after that, I’ve seen a lot of theories about it and how some strings of fate could be platonic (I’ve heard there’s a yellow string of fate tied to your index finger, but, actually, there really isn’t that much information about this, so… honestly hm).

But well, see it the way you see it, even if we’re talking about the red one or the yellow one, it is a fact that Sunny thinks of Basil as someone special to him, someone he was destined to meet. Whether platonic or romantically, we might never know, but I choose to believe there’s more to it than just something platonic and Sunny hasn’t seen it yet. Why use the string of fate? Branch Coral could’ve only said Basil is special to him.

And, though they're talking about saving Basil in Headspace, this whole conversation could definitely fit real life as well. "He can't get out of there alone", no, Basil needs Sunny so they can both heal. I remember the Branch Coral ended up that explanation with a: “You know what you have to do, DREAMER” Yeah. Sunny is already somewhat conscious of it, that he has to do something for both of them. It’s his choice and his choice only (and ours but shh). He has to save Basil from Black Space, but also from himself in the real world.

Conclusion

I think there is something characteristically beautiful in Sunny wanting to save Basil even if facing the truth is horrible for him. It shows how much he cares about him. You wouldn’t do that for someone if you didn’t love them. He could’ve chosen not to go and reach out to him (and we’ve seen the consequences of those actions in the bad and ‘neutral’ endings). But I’m glad that the ending where he chooses to find him and help him irl is the true ending. Because, truly, this is probably the only way to go so he can also forgive himself.

Now, by all of that stated before, I’m not saying that Sunny has to be in love with Basil, but I do think that he’s very important to him no matter what, he truly considers him his best friend. And… I also believe that, in the future, he will see this and realize he doesn’t want anyone else. Because, in a way, Basil is probably the only person who truly knows what he’s going through.

Both of them have issues, yes, and they really, reaaaaally need to see a therapist and try to be better people. Mental illnesses are honestly a pain in the ass and if not treated well, they become a ticking time bomb. And trauma? Well… makes everything worse. All of them, Kel, Aubrey and Hero had their issues and ways to deal with their grief as well, but, naturally after what happened, Sunny and Basil do need more help, perhaps. And, honestly, I believe that, at the end of the game, they do get it, they do find a way to be better and find a way to move on. Together.

Both Basil and Sunny idealize each other in some way. Possibly Basil’s case is more evident in game and worrying, you could say. But I think that, when you’re young and get a new crush, it’s kind of impossible not to see them as perfect. When you fall for someone you tend to overlook their flaws and it is only with time that you start to see them and either embrace them or… well, hate them. Overlooking Sunny’s flaws unfortunately backfired on Basil, possibly because he was also mentally ill even before the event with Mari… But there is no way we can blame him for it and I think Sunny doesn’t, either.

Not even about the eye, either, because we all know Basil was going through a phsychotic episode and wasn't conscious of it. If anything, he tried to save Sunny from Something, not realizing Something was him. He split Sunny in half in his mind as well, similar to what Sunny did with DW Basil and Stranger.

I’ve seen a lot of people call Sunflower a bad ship because it’s “toxic” and… yes, it could be. It can definitely be, there are a lot of takes regarding that, oh boy… BUT I want to believe they would get together after going to therapy for years and I want to believe that they can help each other heal. I find Sunflower an interesting ship and an interesting friendship as well because all they have is each other. After all, there’s no way they can get a connection this… beautiful and strong and still somehow let it wither after all this time. There’s so much they have to talk about and they care too much about each other not to at least try.

Like I said at the beginning, they’re each other’s anchors and without the other, I doubt they can fully heal. It would be nice if they could be there for each other even when life is hard and even if their friends take their time to forgive them. (I know they will eventually forgive them, but I also think that it could take time… Especially in Hero’s case, perhaps?)

I like to think that this happened in the future and they were healing together ❤

Anyway, what do you think? Is there something else to add to this extended essay/weird analysis thing? I can’t believe I’m doing this lmao, I’m nervous.

PS: Please be kind? ❤

#Omori #omori sunflower #omori sunny #omori basil #analysis #I'm new here so I'm nervous fjkdvbd #Sunflower is just one of those ships you can't get over no matter how much you try #I hope they get to be happy someday #omori spoilers #my post #sunnflower

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writingfool001 · 2 years

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Ever since I found out about NRC have a light music club, a K-on ask is rather rare.

So I would like a headcanon of Kalim, Cater and Lilia's reaction of s/o not only a former light music club member but her genre was actually rock like Sawako-sensei

https://youtu.be/yIny4KUrYC8

Female S/O is a Former Music Light Club Member and

Hello Simply, hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself. This request had me diving back into all the rock music I listened to growing up and some new stuff. Hope you enjoy!!!!!!!

WARNING: LONG POST

You peaked your head into the Light Music Clubroom to see no one there before letting a sigh of relief and entered with your case in hand with your bag, closing the door gently with your foot. You needed a place to practice and possibly record some audio for the day since you didn’t want to disturb Grim or the ghosts at Ramshackle.

You set your bag and case down before pulling up a chair and began to pull out your equipment for your usual set up, humming a tune to yourself. You set up your laptop and amplifier before grabbing your guitar case and opening it. You stare at the picture you had pinned on the inside of your case, remembering all the good times you had with that group.

The picture had a handful of students smiling with their designated instrument and in the same room, just two looked familiar. One looking like a younger version of Sam and the other, an older version of you.

Everyone thinks you’re a newbie to being in the Twisted Wonderland, yet no one wondered how you knew a majority of the answers on test or the material. Or location of things without question or why you were so very friendly with Sam. You would just tell people that you’re just friendly and hear about things while walking down the hall.

You haven’t told anyone yet that you used to be a student at NRC, you may not look it, but you were older here since age and time seem to be different between where you came from and here. You got older during your time at NRC, but went back to your world, looking the way as you came. A couple of years passed before being thrown back into this world for good, since you didn’t really have a reason to stay in your old world. Yet when you came back, Crowley was surprised to see you again and said nothing as you two went through the entrance ceremony.

You explained to Crowley what happened and your current situation while Grim was asleep. Meaning the charade about finding you a way home was fake, you both have been keeping it up for a while now. Sam got a kick out of it, seeing your younger form and keeps calling you little demon as a joke, while Mozus was a bit relieved that he would have you included in the small group of decent first years. Lucius was thrilled to see you again and sits in your lap during class. It seems Sam kept your old electric guitar, still in the case where you left it after graduation and threw in an amplifier with any other equipment you would need to rock out like you used to. He only asks to hear any of your new work and to get a shout out if you got famous.

You tuned your guitar along with your voice and messed with the settings before doing a random song as a warm up for your fingers and vocal cords. Once you were done with warming up, you adjusted the amp and before starting to work on your main piece. Little did you know that you had an audience forming.

Kalim:

He managed to escape Jamil and headed to meet up with Cater and Lilia for Magic Light Club, skipping along as he hummed a tune, he played on his instrument earlier. He overheard electric guitar playing came from the clubroom, must be Lilia practicing. His hand reaches for the doorknob before hearing a female voicing sing, that definitely wasn't Lilia. Quietly, he opened the door a crack to peek in to see you, rocking out and singing.

He was enchanted by you, you were in your own headspace while pouring your all into your performance. He never knew that you played or sang until now which he has fallen more head over heels for you.

He continues to watch you as Cater and Lilia joined watching after he told him, you were performing without knowing he was there. He and Cater were fangirling over you and sneakily took pictures. Towards the end of your song, Lilia motions them to be quiet and they all sneaked in, so by the end of your last note, you were welcomed by applause. Kalim was clapping the loudest as he cheered. He praises you for your performance and asks you a bunch of questions while you stay during club hours that day.

After that day, he would come over to Ramshackle to hang out while you worked on pieces. You taught him how to play a couple of notes, he’s proud of himself. You basically babysit hm, giving Jamil a break, and keep him distracted enough to stay out of trouble. He bought you new equipment and even offered you a new guitar, you declined and told him this one was special to you. He noticed how you had some stickers on your case and asked where you got them, so you tell him how you got them without revealing too much to him.

Cater:

He was scrolling through Magicam as he walked to Magic Light Club, before noticing Kalim peaking inside of the clubroom. He tapped his shoulder, catching Kalim's attention, and questioned why he wasn’t inside. Kalim quickly shushed him and told him you were performing before cracking the door open to see you, passionately singing while shredding it on the guitar.

He knew that you played because of what he would hear from Ace and Deuce, it also explained why your fingertips felt a bit rough whenever you two held hands. Hearing you perform, he realized how much more talent you had and how passionate you were about playing rock.

You sounded heavenly and your fingers changed from note to note, masterfully. He took many pictures and a video of you playing, planning on posting it later, before Lilia showed up and joined their little watch party. When they snuck in, he got a better view of you in your own headspace as you played and sang your heart out.

Once you finished, Cater cheered alongside the other two and laughed at the surprised fluster look on your face. He playfully pouted and told you how dare you hide this beautiful talent of yours from me before laughing at you, trying to apologize. He would ask questions about you playing guitar.

He asked if it was okay for him to post the video and the day after, his post got a lot of attention. People asking about you and your work while you were freaking out about the number of people who liked and commented. Cater jokes with you saying he’s dating a talented musician and kissing your callous fingers. He would post pictures of you and him on his account, whether you’re in your makeshift studio or just out. People love seeing you two together and ask if he’s inspired any of your pieces.

He also gives you a picture of you both to put in your case, saying if you get famous, you’ll remember him. You reassured him you weren't going to leave him, even if you got famous. There’s only one lover you need, and it’s Cater.

Lilia:

Electric guitar buddies!!!!

He was headed to club when he noticed cater and Kalim outside, peaking inside of the clubroom. He floated upward to get a better view and to his surprise, you were playing an electric guitar and singing. He somewhat knew about you being able to play from malleus and some of his own spy missions.

He watched as you shred a couple cords, masterfully, and sang your heart out to an empty room, such a shame for no one to see this from you. Until the idea of sneaking in and watching quietly came up, he made sure the other two stayed quiet while sneaking in and silently watching as you got towards the end of your set.

Chuckling at your flustered face as they applauded your performance, he floated over above you and teased you about never playing in front of him. He would also ask you questions, after convincing you to stay and help them with any issues and notice the picture in your case while you were packing up.

He would invite you more to magic light club, saying you could play freely with them, and spend time with you, even if you two were just having a jam session. You would tell him to warn Malleus about when you would play so then you don’t disturb his walks, which Lilia finds sweet of you.

He would ask about the people in the picture and point out about how one of them looks awfully similar to you with a playful grin on his face. He would eventually get it out of you to explain everything. He would be a bit surprised to hear that you’re older than you look, but that would make two of you. He would ask about some stories of how you were back then. He was just glad Fate decided to bring you back and you decided to stay for the rest of your life with him.

#twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #cater diamond #twst headcanons #cater x reader #kalim al asim #kalim x reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia x reader #female reader

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baby-dr1ver · 3 years

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Jimmy Fallon Interview

let me know if I should do a part 2?

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Rating/Warnings: fluff!, mentions of sex

MASTERLIST

You and Chris sat on Jimmy’s navy blue couch as he welcomed you on.

“Welcome welcome Mr AND Mrs. Evans” At that, the whole crowd hooted and hollered while you blushed and hung your head in embarrassment. Chris chuckled and rubbed your back.

“Thank you thank you, great to be here again.” Jimmy smiled.

“Great to have you both, so, both of you have new movies out, correct?” Jimmy questioned.

“Yep yep, I think mine came out first and then hers” Chris answered as he looked at you, giving him a firm nod. “Now you both were filming at the same time s-so was that hard for the both of you? Considering you had just got married?”

Chris let you answer. “Well, yes and no. We both always kept in touch, whether it was little texts throughout the day, or a phone call, whatever it was we always were checking up on one another.” The crowd awwed. Chris looked over to you with a sweet smile “Yeah it definitely was a difficult time for the both of us. Being separated for so long wasn’t something that uh we are used to so”

The interviews went on like normal, Jimmy asked us questions about our relationship, and talked about our movies. “Okay so, last time Chris was here, we showed a clip of his movies but today, we have a clip of Y/N’s. You want to tell us a little about the movie first?” You shifted in your seat, unprepared to explain your movie.

“Yeah! So, for those of you who haven’t seen ‘All about you”, it’s not your typical fifty shades of grey movie.” Your face went red, you could see Chris eyeing you.

“The movie dives deeper into the dynamic of a bd/sm relationship. The characters aren’t in a romantic relationship but end up developing feelings for one another. They have to go through the heartache and dynamic change throughout the movie. It was hard mentally because I had never uh, been put in that situation. Where I had to be in this headspace, if you will, and kind of, submit to everything my love interest said.” Liar.

“Alright, here’s the clip from “All about you” Jimmy said before the lights dimmed and your voice rang out through the room. You cringed and covered your face.

“This feel okay?” Your love interest asked. You gave a nod, too scared to voice anything. “Doing so good for me” You whined as he nipped down your stomach. The camera panned out to see your whole body, boobs and all. Your hands were tied to the bedpost, your love interest covering your intimate parts, as he moved farther and farther down. You made eye contact, your eyes glossed over, before he slowly licked you up and down.

Your back arched, eyes rolled back, as he worked your body.

The crowd started to clap. “Wow” was all Jimmy said. “A good wow I hope?” Everyone laughed

“Yes a good wow. So Chris, how did you feel about Y/N doing this movie?” Chris tsked. “Her body her choice. Was I excited that the whole world was going to know what she looked like, beautiful obviously? No. But, it’s not my decision.” You grabbed his hand and pulled it into your lap with a smile. “So I’m assuming you also saw the whole movie then?” Chris nodded, ears turning pink. “Oh yeah, I saw it.”

“It was embarrassing! He made me sit down and watch it with him! He said ‘I feel weird watching it alone!” You exclaimed.

“Alright alright, and how did you feel Y/N, about his movie?” You looked at Chris. He kept his long hair, and kept up beard, which you loved. “Oh boy, uuh yeah it was amazing as always but uh, I mean I really fell in love with the character because you know he, he looks like this!” You put your hands out and motioned to his face.

“He does look good doesn’t he?” Jimmy questioned

“Oh stop it you guys!” Chris said, always gets shy when he gets complimented.

“Just stating facts my love” At this point you tuned out Jimmy’s talking, and just stared into Chris’s eyes.

“Okay when we come back we’re going to play ‘Know your Fiance’!”

That’s when you both came out of your lover's trance and waved to the crowd. Turning to Jimmy for the commercial break small talk.

Part 2?

Tags!:

@tanyaherondale @white-wolf1940 @randomuser0917 @sea040561

heres a link for the taglist form

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x female reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut #chris evans angst #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans is daddy #chris evans imagine #chris evans one shot #steve rodgers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #marvel #mcu cast

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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Yugioh S5 Ep 18: A Series of Ecological Disasters

Booting up ye old Yugioh, booting up a new aesthetic playlist to type to. (today’s playlist is webcore, which would feel like such a damn fake aesthetic, if it weren’t that every single one of these -core aesthetics are pretty damn fake and everyone knows it.)

Anyway, it’s been so long that, I’ll be honest, I thought I booted up the wrong episode:

I usually skip the anime intro, but I try to watch it once each arc, cuz the intros change, and this arc was like “screw it, here’s all the other villains, just pretend this arc isn’t happening.” They had Pegasus, they had Marik, they have Bakura (who is kind of in this shot as well, you can see him phasing in there.) And like...I guess they’re hiding the villain of this arc or something because that was it. Alexander the Great got just nixed from this villain list and that’s a shame.

Just a real weird choice, but since apparently this arc didn’t air in Japan they probably had to outsource this anime intro and whatever studio in charge of it just cobbled together stuff from every other season and then a couple of shots of capsule stuff.

Speaking of capsule stuff: get a load of how many freakin lines the animators have to deal with every time they draw Grandpa.

Bro saw this and was like “oh yeah, this is a Shonen Jump” and yeah. The hair does give those vibes. We got a good look at what Vegeta would look like if he really let himself go.

(read more under the cut)

Sorry, my playlist started playing a song where every single line of the song is “Adrien Brody” and it took me like a few minutes to realize I was listening to “Brodyquest” completely seriously.

Damn it, webcore, don’t betray me like this.

Anyway, this arc does something super surprising: Yugi actually hugs somebody and doesn’t look like he’s going to pass out standing up.

It is pretty fitting that the good Yugi hug would go to Grandpa.

And, as night falls, Joey Wheeler has gotten hungry, and there is nothing to eat but his new best friend and spirit animal, baby dragon. Unfortunately he shares life points with the dragon, and I think if you eat it that just instakills you.

And directly underneath him--since this world is like 100 feet wide and things just conveniently happen--Tea has told everyone that they needed to stop worrying about Joey. Which is a lot coming from Tea, because her worrying about Yugi/Yami getting hurt is most of what occupies her headspace in this series.

But even Tea was like, screw Joey, I guess.

Who kinda just falls directly into them upside down, and shows us what Joey’s hair looks like when it’s sticking straight up.

For reals, admire how long Joey Wheeler’s hair is. If Tea were upside down, she would have the same length of hair.

Also speaking of Vegeta, I am low key concerned that Joey has what appears to be a significant amount of male pattern balding going on for a teenager.

Apparently getting set on fire many, many times did have an effect on Joey, and this massive pompadour he wears is a combover. Poor baby.

Holy crap, if this is what card stress and getting killed multiple times did to Joey Wheeler, can you imagine what’s going on under Seto’s bangs? That’s probably why his bangs ride so low, Seto likely wears a freakin toupee.

Guys, Joey’s gonna lose his hair at 25 at this rate. Those locks just aren’t long for this world. Poor baby.

After Joey rejoins the party, he immediately eats all of their food. Not sure why they can’t just have Baby Dragon eat like...whatever Baby Dragon naturally eats...and then transform that into shared Joey Wheeler life points, but it’s not clear exactly how much of a life-connection they have with their Yugioh monsters. Not like it matters because Joey Wheeler is default starving all the time anyway.

Tristan has decided we should start laying blame, I guess because Duke Devlin isn’t here anymore to be the local kill joy. This doesn’t seem to be important at any point, and most of the characters are just ignoring Tristan because like...once you’re in the haunted game in a haunted tomb in a random part of India--it’s kind of moot to argue about who’s fault that is, youknow?

Joey reminds us that he found this quest item in a treasure chest under a secret waterfall. No one says “that was convenient that you landed there after getting chased through a ravine by man-eating birds after you got your dragon from when you got your crotch injury from getting spliced by that tree.”

Which is when Tea says “Wait! We haven’t had a plot thing happen in like 4 seconds! Wait!”

Hey what degree of “I don’t trust nature” do you have to be to assume that all the flowers are trying to eat you?

Like what level of anxiety is Tea where she not only is like “pretty sure the flowers are going to destroy us?” but also...she’s correct? Like she’s not wrong.

They set the dog flowers on fire, but unlike the Jungle Book this doesn’t solve any problems (which apparently got taken off the Disney+ kid’s menu so...yet again, I make a Disney reference in these recaps that future generations will not understand because so much of the Disney library has been banned from the vault. It’s almost like Disney should let go of that copyright they held on for like a hundred years, because what they’re holding on to is only going to get more racist with time. But nah. Gotta hold on with their greedy mickey mouse gloves.)

So instead of using fire, Tristan used his monster to electrocute the air (?) and blind the dogs. Wisely, the animators quickly jumped to this other scene so we wouldn’t have to analyze why it’s suddenly daytime or why that plan would even work.

Joey and Tristan do a lot of buddy buddy stuff this arc. Usually we see a lot of Joey and Yugi’s bottomless friendship, but we don’t get this much Tristan/Joey love. So shippers rejoice, these two seem to have several coordinated dances and songs...and I’d say that teens don’t typically do that, but I went to summer camp, there are situational places where teens will sing the entire vacation and make coordinated dances.

Weirdly, since Joey and Tristan share so much time together, this also means Tea and Yugi actually sit next to eachother for a lot of this arc, almost as if they were a couple. Mind you, they’re chaperoned closely by Grandpa, but youknow...that’s a different energy than I’m used to seeing.

That and like, they can’t have Tea dance with them because last time she did a dance, it was like a DDR fight and she elbowed some guy like it was a fisticuffs situation. Like there was some sort of dance war going on behind the scenes of Yugioh’s card war, and it came up once and I guess Tea resolved it and the dance fights haven’t come back since.

Overall, if they did a dance with Tea, they would get kneed in the face, so that’s probably why they insist on doing cancans as a duet and not a trio.

After Joey and Tristan freak out over having no food, Tea decides to just start eating in front of them.

and like...didn’t Joey eat that food yesterday? Like last night? The short term memory loss on all these fools.

Immediately after this we realize something weird in the water. That’s right, it’s a massive head.

Yugi seems to have forgotten they lit this turtle on fire and electrocuted the entire sky the night before. Not that it mattered.

There were like...nesting birds on those trees on that island. What the hell? They just killed so MANY of those man-eating dogs that are flowers.

Seriously are land turtles allowed to just...dive underwater for long periods of time? How does that ecosystem even work? It’s like...That’s wild to think about.

Inside the temple, they have to fight a genie or something.

In case you were wondering, the only reason Tea and Grandpa got iced is because they were the closest to the door. The two who were actually standing out of harms way were the closest to harm the whole time.

Bro tells me this is also what will happen to you if you are in the front or the back of the party while playing Cthulu D&D

Anyway, Pharaoh decides to disclose that his big problem of feeling guilty all the time and taking all the blame, which he did all of last season...is still a huge problem he will probably never tackle.

Straight up, don’t be fooled by my caps, everyone else has completely forgotten about Alex, who is still running around that temple up there. They haven’t even asked Grandpa “hey is this your protege? Is this your mentee you never told us about?” Nah. They already forgot.

How wild is it that Pharaoh thinks this is all his fault when he was the only one who was like “YUGI IT’S A TRAP DON’T GO IN THE- well...OK I guess we’re doing this, fine.” Is he upset he didn’t take control from Yugi and walk back to the plane? Because that’s the only way he could even be partially responsible, He was the only guy who was like “I see the end from the beginning on this y’all, and it’s the massive pyramid in India.”

Speaking of forgetting, they came across this language Pharaoh has decided to have nothing to do with.

This was actually a riddle and it was like...it was a riddle, sure, I guess.

And so Joey Wheeler does not hallucinate his dead wife from a previous incarnation and get on the back of his Baby Dragon to sail away into the sunset. Instead they’re just gonna walk.

Too bad Tea’s orb covered in wings only seems to hover a bit. Every single wing on that weird orb is absolutely useless.

And then Pharaoh’s pokemon is just a fire--which is hard to sit on--and Celtic Guardian...who would allow it, sure, but probably doesn’t fly (I think. He might fly)

And then Tristan’s Pokemon kinda seems like if you sit on it, you will get electrocuted. It can probably fly though. It’s very round. Seems like an anime thing that the more round your mascot character is, the more likely it can at least bounce a good distance.

So, next time, I’m just going to assume that we are going to do even more camping. And youknow, if you told me exactly HOW MUCH CAMPING was in this card game show with super future tech, I would not have believed you. But like...a lot of this series is set in the woods right? Like a lot a lot? I have grown to appreciate the woods.

Anyway, as always, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

See you next time!

#yugioh #yu-gi-oh #recap #photo recap #S5 #Yugi muto #yami muto #grandpa muto #tea gardner #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #baby dragon #Ep18

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spnfanficpond · 3 years

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Pond Diving - Supernatural-Jackles

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Jen

Age: 24

Location: Ontario, Canada

URL: @supernatural-jackles

Why did you choose your URL: I wanted a Supernatural theme for my blog when I started watching it and Jensen Ackles just happens to be my favourite on there so it became that.

What inspired you to become a writer: I’ve always enjoyed stories. I’ve loved the aspect of taking your mind to a whole other world and living in it. As I grew up and continued reading, my love for stories became stronger and stronger. I fell in love with characters and places. I wanted to always have a way to go back to those places and take other people to those places. I wanted to create stories for others to fall in love with the way I fell in love with them.

How long have you been writing: I have been writing since I was 8 or 9.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? Right now, my Nintendo switch is a good friend of mine. Due to the virus, I spend a lot of my time inside when I’m not at work. I’m either writing, working, sleeping or playing switch.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? Since 2012

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I am in the Harry Potter fandom, and Marvel. I don’t write for them though. I don’t feel the same way about the characters as I do with the SPN Fandom.

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I have been working on my novel for the last two years on and off. I just find a lot more joy in writing Supernatural fanfiction at the moment, so my soul focus has stayed on that.

Favorite published author: Margaret Atwood or John Green

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: There was this one book I read. I was about 18 at the time I believe. All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. A very triggering book, just so you know. I remember sitting there reading it and wondering why I’m putting myself through something so draining and daunting. The book was very upsetting and I found it didn’t tackle the issues at hand in a very tasteful and realistic way. As someone who writes fanfiction about mental health, it influenced me to be open and honest about the way reality is, but in a way that would shine more positively towards mental health struggles. I never wanted to be that person who ruined every mental health book for someone else like that author did for me. It was a negative impact, but I think it had some positive results.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I enjoy all genres to be honest. It really all depends on the mood I’m in that day. It’s fun to switch it up every once in a while and enjoy the mixed emotions you get when you read or write said genre.

Favorite piece of your own writing: One and One Make Three or Just Want to Be Loved.

Most underrated fic you have written: I might have to say More Than a Fling. It was the sequel to Summer Fling and everyone was interested in a second series. It soon went on permanent hiatus due to lack of interest.

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Owe You One

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @luci-in-trenchcoats, @kaz-2y5imagines, @jawritter @mariekoukie6661, @torn-and-frayed

Favorite fic from another writer: Breathe by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Favorite character to write: Dean/Jensen

Favorite Pairing to write: Undecided. I love reader inserts and I haven’t done many pairings other than that. I have toyed with Jensen/Reader/Danneel before and I enjoy writing them.

Least favorite character to write (and why): Castiel. We only see so much of Cas and there aren’t as many complex layers of him so he’s harder for me to explore.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? @luci-in-trenchcoats

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? Finish everything I start, and be proud of every piece I create.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Ummm probably upwards to the mid 60’s I want to say.

What are you currently working on? I am in the very early stages of writing a Jensen x Reader Bodyguard AU series. Twisty and turny and very different from what I usually write, but still very me.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? I have the biggest influence on my writing for the most part. I always stick with what I want to write and what I’d love to read. That’s what gets me started on most pieces. My dear best friend who shall remain anonymous, has an influence on me as well. She mostly inspires me to write what I want to write and reminds me on a constant basis that I am doing good and to keep going with my ideas.

Best writing advice you've been given: Don’t be afraid to get a little out of your comfort zone.

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Time management mostly. Deadlines are not my best friend, that’s for sure. I am often filled with a lot of self-doubt when it comes to getting things done on time. Then I wonder if it’s good enough for publishing or if I should wait.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? The research process for certain fics can be daunting. Especially if you don’t know where you need to start looking. Then fact checking, and making sure it works in the story. I have to remind myself that it will be worth it in the end.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I am pretty open with writing most of the things I want to. Getting out of my comfort zone is something I regularly do. It’s always fun to challenge yourself into writing something you’d never think of doing. I certainly have enjoyed the things I was scared to try and it was worth it in the end.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Any selfie/picture posted by Jensen. My best friend and the lovely people around me. @luci-in-trenchcoats is a big influence on me and she always keeps me going!

How do you deal with self doubt: I constantly have to remind myself to get out of that headspace unless I am writing about being in that headspace. It’s a hard cycle to break. Reminding myself that what I am doing is making me happy. I’m making the rules. I’m writing this for me. I have to please myself first and that’s what matters the most. I know myself and the way I write, and that is enough. That’s what I keep on repeat in my head.

How do you deal with writer's block: Cry profusely? I’m kidding. Writer’s block for me, usually comes from something I don’t like that I have written. If it’s minor, I go back to the point where I was happy with where the story was going and delete everything after that. Give it a fresh new start and prospective. If the block is more severe, I take a break. Watch a movie and don’t stress myself about it. I get ideas anywhere, and it will come back eventually. Sometimes it’s just your brain's way of saying “hey, you need to take a break. Do that.”

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Generally yes. I like to know where my story is going. Most of the time my outlines are more extensive rough drafts. It’s a way of processing my thoughts and writing them down so I don’t forget later. It’s a lot more fun for me to build on stories.

Do you have any weird writing habits: I either have to sit in a silent room, or I have to listen to music. Lately it’s been more silent. It depends on the subject.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? I’ve received my share of hateful comments. Each one sucks, I’m not going to lie. Knowing that there is someone out there that hates the way you wrote something so much that they had to tell you isn’t nice. It kind of comes back to the self doubt thing. You have to remind yourself that this is one person’s not so kind opinion. You are the writer, you are in control of this story. This is you and you’re proud of this.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? Any feedback is my favourite feedback. Every heart, every “I love this”. Every “You’re my favourite.” I can’t pick a favourite. If someone can take the time out to say they’ve loved something I have written and that it meant a lot to them, then that's the best reward I can get.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Keep writing everyday! You don’t see it now but the more you write, the better you get.

#pond diving #pond diving: supernatural-jackles #spnfanficpond

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neeterloveschenford · 3 years

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RNM 3x03

Hey y’all! Was last night amazing or what! We finally got Malex!!!!!! We got Echo, Delmanes, and Kybel as well. So many good things happened. Let’s dive right in.

Poor Max. Poor Liz. Why did they use each other’s last names. (Weird) And then we segue right into Ortecho sister’s quality time. I love it when they bicker. They are so realistic when they do.

Broody Michael breaks my heart. And Jones is such an asshole the way he’s working Michael and Isobel. Which brings us right into broody Alex. (I love these two goobers.) I’m not sure whether Eduardo is good or bad, but I sure do like him. Also sassy Alex (Men who stare at goats, LOL) gives me life.

I do love Isobel and Maria sassing each other. I am enjoying the mystery of who gets murdered, but I am now convinced it’s not Michael for sure. And I think all the Sanders clues are red herrings. I still think it’s going to be Rosa. I don’t think she’ll actually die, cause they’ll figure it out before then, but she’s my leading contender. Also, don’t think I didn’t notice Max put up a card with Arturo’s name on it. Get that man off your murder board dude. If Arturo dies, we ALL riot!! And this is just what Michael needs. He truly believes he deserves to die, especially now that he knows who his father is.

Love that Isobel is seeing visions now. I’m hoping that next week when she and Maria take their “journey” that it’ll be her dreamwalking. I always loved that power of hers.

Have I mentioned that Kyle is the MVP of this season? I love his reaction to learning that there is another Max. And as much as he dislikes Max, you can see how much he cares about him. He’s just good through and through. I love him. He’s also totally done with Liz. The way he called her out on all of the things she did last season was fantastic! Max and Liz needed to hear everything he had to tell them.

Jones is so sneaky. I just love to hate him! He is working Isobel so hard. But I think it’s going to backfire. She’s going to embrace her empathic nature and read him like a book. I get the sense that Louise was able to sense the evil in him and that was how they knew that he was the enemy. Perhaps there was even a relationship between Jones and Louise. Maybe he’s even Isobel’s father! (Yeah, farfetched, but I determined to see him be somebody’s daddy!)

Ok, I don’t care what anyone else says, I am digging Delmanes! They are cute together. And I am not upset in the least that Alex ships it too. Look, I know I have had my issues with Maria. I think 2x06 is one of the most toxic episodes of tv out there. But I’m not going to blame Maria on something that was clearly all about Carina. I’m willing to chalk that episode up to a weird fever dream and go from there. She’s interesting this year. And one thing that makes that possible for me is her relationship with Greg. He’s honestly everything that Michael tried and failed to be when they were together. And Alex explicitly said in that episode that he could never hate her. They are best friends and everyone that hates either needs to suck it up or find another show to watch. She ain’t going anywhere. And if she can find her happiness with Greg, then so be it.

BERT!!! It’s been so long! I’ve missed him so much. And what is up with this Jordan? What an ass! Doesn’t he know he’s going to go the way of Racist Hank? I like the way everybody doesn’t know what to do with not racist Wyatt. As long as we dont’ get a romance between Wyatt and Rosa, I’m going to see where it goes. Could be interesting.

Back to my boy Kyle and him calling Liz out for all her nonsense. She needs to hear this! The cost of all of her unethical experiments was too much. I hope between this and her talk with Rosa she will begin to understand that she can’t play God with everyone else’s lives.

I LOVED Alex and Greg. Greg laid some truths on Alex that he definitely needs to hear (Are we sensing a theme in this episode?) Greg’s right. Why didn’t Alex join one of the other branches of the military? Why did he choose the one that his father was in? Alex has to rid himself of Jesse’s voice in his head. When he does, then he’ll finally be in the headspace to have a real relationship with Michael. And whether it’s good or bad, I think Deep Sky is going to be the catalyst for that growth.

And of course Michael is spoiling for a fight. And this Jordan creep is going to be the perfect target for him. (Also, protect Bert at all costs!) And did Max not notice the dudes in the alien masks? Didn’t a group of them attack Maria like one day ago?

Which brings us to my new favorite Malex scene. OMG! It was less than two minutes, but it packed such an emotional impact. Alex laid his own truths on Michael that were harsh but so so true. Michael has always held himself to a different standard than anyone else. Could he have been gentler? I don’t think so. I think it was exactly what Michael needed. And then we get the closest to a present day I love you than we’ve ever gotten. If Michael died, Alex would burn the world down. That’s how much he loves him. After everything that has happened between them. Despite the fact that they don’t know if they will ever truly be together. In spite of the fact that they haven’t been together in two years, Alex still loves him enough to destroy anyone who would dare to hurt Michael. We got feral Michael last season. By God I want feral Alex this season. I think we’ve earned it. (Also, MICHAEL GAVE ALEX A PRETTY ROCK! That could be the most unintentionally romantic thing he’s ever done.)

I also loved the fact that that emotional moment led right into the Liz and Max emotional moment. Max is so willing to let himself die just to protect Liz. And I think Liz is finally starting to see the damage she did to their relationship. It was easy to run off to the west coast and blame Max for everything from afar. But now she’s seeing first hand the damage she’s done.

Which led right into the emotional Kybel moment. (The shipping was strong this episode!) I love how she cares about him taking care of himself. And that is exactly what Kyle needs. Someone who sees him for the hero he is and wants to protect and cherish him. If they don’t happen, then I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. (Besides cry hysterically.)

I’m digging the whole mystery of the machines. Alex’s machine turning on and being amped up by the pretty rock that he got from Michael. And it turning on Kyle’s radio from his father. What things have you been hiding all these years Jim Valenti?

Poor Max doesn’t realize how dangerous Jones really is. It’s no wonder Jones is free now. It’s going to be interesting how everyone figures it out.

It amazed me that there was absolutely zero things that I disliked in this episode. All three episodes have been absolutely fantastic so far. I am just loving everything that has happened. I cannot wait for what’s to come. I just know it’s going to be so much goodness.

As always I have some theories that are percolating in my brain. I will be posting about those later. But until then, hope everyone has a wonderful week! I will see you all this time next week!

#roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico s3 #spoilers #it's only my opinion

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crowdedimagines · 4 years

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Falling - Harry Styles

*obviously inspired by Falling, which i am OBSESSED with! *italics are from the past, a lot of this story will be from the past. *also, see if you catch some mini easter eggs to other songs from fine line (this wasn’t intentional, but for the timeline to work he never dated camille)

There’s no point in stopping the tears as they slowly stream down my face. As soon as I saw the tracklist to Harry’s new album I had a feeling this one would bring on the waterworks. Now that the album is officially released, I can hear what he’s been working on the past few months.

Falling.

A simple word with so much meaning behind it. It’s hard to fight off the memories of our relationship.

“-and this is the lovely, Y/n.” A friend introduces me to a small group of her friends at the party. She managed to drag me away from a conversation I was having to ‘meet some friends’. I smile and wave to all of the new faces, they go around and give me their names in return.

“Harry.” The last one speaks up, he raises his glass in a wave.

Our eyes pull together like magnets. I’m thankful for the darker lighting that is hiding the blush that creeps over my cheeks.

We all quickly dive into a conversation, everyone present being easy enough to talk to. They’re all lovely and fun people.

“I’m gonna go get another drink.” I announce as I get up from my spot.

“I’ll come with, mine seems to be empty too.” Harry grins and follows me back to the bar.

We both order our drinks and wait for them to be made. It takes a while, seeing how busy it is with all of the people here, but neither Harry or I mind. We immediately jump into a new conversation ranging from music, acting, and travel.

“You’ve never been to the UK?” Harry asks, utterly shocked.

“No.” I shake my head, laughing at his appalled reaction.

“How is that even possible? You’ve never had to film over there or anything?”

“I’ve been to Italy and France, but never your neck of the woods I suppose.” I let out a laugh.

He takes a sip of his drink, neither of us have made an effort to move back to the group since receiving them. I can see my friend giving two thumbs up over Harry’s shoulder. I’m sure this was some plan of hers to try and get us to hit it off.

“Well, you tell me when you’re free and we’ll go.” He smiles, “I’ll be your tour guide.”

God, I would love to take him up on that offer.

“Aren’t you going to be awfully busy with your first solo tour?”

“Ahh, you keep up with me then?” He smirks, I’m sure he’s enjoying that little ego boost.

“Pretty hard not to.” I roll my eyes, as if the pop star was so under the radar. “I can hardly leave my apartment in New York without coming across a billboard with your face plastered on it.”

“Well I’m sorry about that, love.”

“Don’t be, it’s a nice face to look at.”

It’s my turn now to smirk and notice Harry slightly thrown off.

“Tour doesn’t start for a month, pick a date before that and we’ll go.”

“You’re putting an awful lot of faith into someone you just met a half an hour ago.”

“I have faith in you, Y/n.”

“And why should I have faith in you?” I tease, “For all I know you could be a very creepy man.”

“Hey!” He laughs, “Haven’t you ever heard of treating people with kindness?”

The first time Harry and I ever met. That first night even, I knew that he was going to mean so much. I was proven correct a few weeks later when we actually did go to London together.

“Home sweet home.”

Harry opens the door wide enough so both of us and our luggage can fit. He’s invited me to stay at his flat, claiming it’s nicer than any hotel anyway. It’s also an obvious excuse for us to spend more time together just the two of us.

“It’s awfully gloomy here, strike one for London.” I joke.

“Hey! It’s late, you can’t judge it yet! Plus we just got off of a ten hour flight, you’re not in the right headspace.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I roll my eyes.

Harry and I have managed to grow so close in the short amount of time we’ve known each other. We met up several more times to somewhat plan the trip, Harry helped me pack claiming he would know what I would need better than I would.

We both laughed until we were crying, trying on the various clothes from my closet. Many random gems, things I’m almost positive Harry wants to steal.

We still haven’t defined what we are. Friends is the easiest way of putting it, but it doesn’t feel quite right. We flirt constantly and were touchy with each other, but we’ve never acted on anything.

“Alright, let’s find you a room.”

Harry takes my suitcase with him as he leads me into the rest of his house. We go up to the second floor and he opens the door to a large room. It’s decorated in simple white with hints of yellow.

“Cute.” I grin looking around the room.

“Y’like it?” He almost seems nervous. Giddy like an unsure child.

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

For the first time there’s an awkward pause. Just a few seconds of what to do, it’s really late and by the sounds of it we have plans for an early morning.

“Well, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, H.”

Harry leaves me to my room and goes to his own, which is conveniently across the hall.

He wasn’t lying, the next day we are up bright and early. Too early, I might add.

“Y/n.” He taunts my name on the other side of the door.

“Too early.” I grumble, my face still half smashed into a pillow. I don’t even flinch hearing the door open.

“C’mon, Y/n. If you get up now we can go out for breakfast and go to the farmers market.” I feel the bed dip as he settles on the bed.

“Why can’t I sleep in and we just eat here?” I finally turn to face where’s he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, he has an amused look on his face.

“Because I’ve been in Los Angeles for the past two months. There’s quite literally no food here.”

I let out a groan and drop my head back down.

“I’m amazed with how cute you still look while so angry and having just woken up.”

“You’re such a kiss ass.” I grumble.

“Only for you.” He lightly smacks my ass before walking back out. “Let’s go, Y/Ln.”

I get up and look out the large window to see that it’s raining, but it looks like the sun is trying to come out. I settle on a comfortable outfit, tucking my hair back into a low bun. I wash my face and throw on a pair of sunnies.

“Ready?”

I nod and we take off. We walk to a diner that Harry loves going too, he claims that he gets cravings for it when he’s back in the states. I have to say, after eating there, I understand his hype.

Once were no longer hungry, we take off for the farmer’s market.

It’s cute to say the least. We pick up some organic veggies to cook with for dinner and we find some cheese and fresh bread.

“H, look!” I cross over from the tent we had been in to the one across the street.

“They’re beautiful!” I trail my fingers across all of the different bundles of flowers.

“I almost lost you.” Harry says after catching up.

“Look at how pretty they are!” I pick up a bundle of sunflowers.

“How much?” Harry asks before handing over more than enough for them.

“Gotcha!” Harry smiles looking down at his phone. I’m sure he’s taken yet another candid picture.

“For someone who doesn’t post on social media, you take an awful lot of pictures.” I bump his shoulder as we continue walking.

“Yeah, still like to have the memories.”

Harry and I spent two more days in London exploring more of the city before we decided to take a road trip to Holmes Chapel to see where Harry grew up. It was a long drive, but it was worth it to see Harry light up.

“That’s the bakery I used to work in.” He points out the car window.

“Don’t you want to stop?” I ask, watching him drive right by it.

“No, it’s kind of become a fan beacon now.” Harry explains.

We continue to drive through the town as he points out more spots from when he grew up. Or we sit in a comfortable silence just looking out at the scenery. I don’t notice we’ve arrived somewhere until Harry puts the car in park.

“Where are we?” I ask, looking at the house in front of us. It’s grown dark out, but the house looks warm and inviting.

“My mum’s house.” He quickly gets out of the car before I can ask a question.

“Harry!” I roll my eyes, following him to the door.

“What?” He grins looking over his shoulder. He knocks and it doesn’t take long for an answer to follow.

“Harry!” She pulls him in for a hug, the woman I can only assume is his mother.

They talk softly to each other and I feel as if I’m invading a very private moment.

“You’ve brought someone home?” She shouts with an excited voice. Without a pause, she pulls me in for an equally tight hug. She knocks the air out of my lungs, but I let out a laugh.

“In all these years, Harry’s never brought a girl home!”

“Mum!” Harry groans, a pink color taking over.

“Come in come in! I’m just finishing up supper.”

She disappears further into the house, once Harry and I step in, I can feel the warmth of the home and smell whatever she’s cooking.

“You brought me home to meet your mom!” I tease, turning to smack Harry lightly on the chest.

“No, she would just be upset if I was here and didn’t see here before leaving for a world tour.”

Bullshit.

“Harry, you’ve never brought a girl home before.” I smirk.

“Alright alright, I really like you. As if it wasn’t obvious enough before.” Harry admits, he successfully knocks the smile clear off my face.

“Are you going to say anything?” He asks, suddenly twisting the right on his fingers around out of nerves.

“I like you too.” I smile, “Duh.”

“Thank god.” He sighs, pulling me in for a hug.

“Alright, supper is- oh! You’re having a moment, I’ll go.” Anne rushes back to the kitchen. It would take a blind man to miss the smile and happy dance at seeing us like this.

“She’s a sweetheart.” I pull back so I can look up

“Yeah, we’re a pretty charming family.”

“I can see that.”

After that it was bliss, Harry and I finally got together. Just in time for him to leave on tour. But we made it work, thankfully. Either I would fly out to whatever city he was in, or when he had extended breaks he would come see me on set. Any time we weren’t performing, we were facetiming. Or when the time differences didn’t work, we would leave each other long voicemails, just longing to hear the other’s voice.

By the time he finished his tour, and I finished my movie, we finally got to date like a normal couple and see each other regularly.

“Coming, coming!” I yell, rushing to my door to see who’s in a huge rush that causes them to knock repeatedly.

“I said-” Before I get a chance to yell when I swing the door open my jaw drops at the sight.

“Hi, love.” He grins, a bundle of sunflowers in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” I peck his lips with mine and pull him in for a long hug, “You had things to finish up! I wasn’t supposed to get you home for another week!”

“I’m sorry, love, but I lied. I always knew I could sneak away.”

“That’s kind of evil.” I laugh pulling away, but still holding onto him.

“Which is why I have these.” He hands my the flowers.

“Thank you.” I grin, he follows me into my kitchen and watches as I put them in water.

“So, how does it feel to be all finished?” I ask.

“Good, it was really rewarding, but really exhausting. I’ve just been waiting to come home to you to be perfectly honest.”

“Well, here I am.” I smile, I take a seat on his lap. It’s good to have him here.

Beachwood Cafe. The coffee here doesn’t taste as good when it’s not filled with our laughter and deep conversations. It seems bitter without the games.This was our spot in Los Angeles. Early in our relationship we had stumbled upon the place and it became ours. The baristas growing accustomed to our orders and our stardom.

“You’re absolutely mad if you think that’s a word.” Harry says, his voice getting louder and gaining the attention of people around us. As if we weren’t already doing that. The cafe is always busy, but today it seemed like there were lots of people here.

“Have you ever played Scrabble? Of course this is a word!” I argue. Part of why we like the cafe is the bookshelf filled with board games. Every time we come Harry and I pick a new one we’ve never played together before. Today we settled on Scrabble even though it led to us bickering.

“I don’t like playing with a cheater.” He can’t even get away with it without smiling, but we continue the teasing fight for the fun of it. Banter is always entertaining.

“A cheater?” My voice raising as well, “Look it up!”

We both breakout in laughter over how stupid it is to be arguing about.

Still blissfully aware in our honeymoon phase which lasted way longer than any other relationship either of us have been in. If only I had known then how much worse the arguing would get.

“Harry, what’s happened to you?” I ask, tears freely falling to the floor. The tears being caused more by anger than hurt at this point.

“What do you mean?” His words slurred.

“You’re drunk again, of course.” I roll my eyes, leaving him on the bathroom floor to deal with himself.

“You’ve made a fool of me Harry!” I shout, letting my temper get the best of me, “Do you know how embarrassing you were tonight? Tonight was a big deal for me, I’ve never been the lead actress. You now what this premiere meant to me.”

“Love, I-” Harry follows me out of the bathroom into our bedroom. My attitude and hurt seems to have sobered him up a bit, though he is still far from dry.

“You got hammered before the movie could even start!” I huff, “You were loud and obnoxiously shouting about nonsense! Not to mention the fact that you flirted with nearly every person at the bar.”

“Y/n, it’s fine we-”

“No, it’s far from fine. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, since when have you felt most comfortable with a drink in your hand? Or a stranger on your arm? This isn’t new for you anymore, you’ve been acting like this for months.”

The silence coming from him proves I’m right.

“If it’s been months, why haven’t you said anything before now. We’ve been dating for nearly two years now, we live together. I would think you’re comfortable enough to tell me you think I’m a drunk.” Harry sasses back.

“I’ve tried! You just get rude or you don’t even remember it in the morning.” I push my hair back out of my face, “The only difference it, tonight was my breaking point.”

I walk to my closet and grab a bag and start shoving essentials in it.

“No, Y/n, wait.” Harry follows me, he takes the bag from my hand and starts pulling things back out.

“Harry stop!” My voice rising louder than it ever has in this house, “Enough. I’m done. We are finished.”

Harry suddenly drops the bag and stumbles back out of the closet. I manage to repack the bad come out to see Harry sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at his shoes.

“I’ll send someone to get the rest of my stuff. You can buy out my half of the lease.”

After that night, I never looked back.

The song ends and I turn off my phone and set it down. I wipe away any remnants at eyes, the tears long dried. Before I can spend any more time thinking about him or the way things used to be, I get dressed for the day. Harry was right about one thing.

I’ll never need him again.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #angst #harry styles angst #Harry Styles

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therappundit · 3 years

Text

***Best of the 1st Half of 2021: SONG EDITION***

Six months into 2021 and since 2020 wrapped up...some things in the world have changed, while other things remain the same (for better or worse). Folks, it’s time to talk about rap music in 2021...

One trend definitely has continued well into 2021: the underground rap world - I’m talking the artists, the aesthetic, the sound, the full projects, every box you can think of - continues to kick the mainstream rap world’s ass. There are already signs of the two imaginary separate worlds intermingling more and more, and we will have to deal with the pros and cons of that down the line...but one thing is for sure: rap music runs deeper, and more sonically diverse than ever before, and as long as there is an internet to enlist the ears and talents of artists from all over the world, the art form will continue to divide, change shape, borrow from the old and add some new, again and again. And we will all be better for it.

So let’s dive right in. As usual there are about 1,000 more songs that I would love to cram into this list, but there are only so many spots...and I’m married with a toddler, so even though I am listening to rap music for a concerningly large portion of my day, it takes a lot of extra coffee and less sleep to keep these posts going (but it’s still worth it, I love connecting with folks over the same under-discussed but ridiculously dope songs and artists).

There are many lists but none quite like this one, here is THE RAP PUNDIT’S LIST OF THE BEST RAP SONGS FROM THE FIRST HALF OF 2021....hope you find some joints you never heard before and really enjoy. And to all of the MCs, Producers, mixers, singers, curators, readers, writers, critics - anyone that contributes something to this music I love....thank you, as always. 🙏

[Bonus joint] 55. “GANG GANG” - Polo G feat. Lil Wayne

https://soundcloud.com/polo-g/polo-g-lil-wayne-gang-gang?in=polo-g/sets/hall-of-fame-675200176

[Bonus joint] 54. “Furious Styles” - Illa Styles feat. Nickelus F https://illastyles.bandcamp.com/track/furious-styles-ft-nickelus-f

[Bonus joint] 53. “Box of Churches” - Pooh Sheisty feat. 21 Savage

https://soundcloud.com/ceo-mrpooh/box-of-churches-feat-21-savage

[Bonus joint] 52. “Beating Down Yo Block” - Monaleo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnMPEfV0bSA

[Bonus joint] 51. “BUZZERBEATER” - Rahiem Supreme feat. Al.Divino & Estee Nack

https://franksvinylrecords.bandcamp.com/track/buzzerbeater-feat-al-divino-estee-nack

50. "A Man Apart” - Rx Papi

https://soundcloud.com/rxpapi/a-man-apart-prod-by-noisy?in=rxpapi/sets/100-miles-walkin

(Face it: you’re either feelin’ the Rx flow or you’re not. The endlessly quotable MC is not always taken seriously, but similar to how the saddest clowns are most adept at masking their pain behind a smile, Papi needs to be taken seriously as a talented rap artist.)

49. “Moving On Up” - Evidence feat. Conway The Machine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F35OOXvQ4c

(Evidence, Babu, Daringer and Conway all joining forces on a record feels like a timeline altering reach between two completely different generations of elite underground hip-hop artists, but in the case of “Moving On Up”, it’s not just a “hey wouldn’t it be dope if” fantasy, it’s a sweet reality. Ev has connected with the Griselda camp before and of course the results are dope. Add this one to the list, one of the many fine moments off of Unlearning Vol. 1.)

48. “Gordon Ramsay Freestyle” - Remble

https://soundcloud.com/remble2/gordon-ramsay-freestyle-prod-by-laudiano

(An attention grabbing MC if ever I heard one, Remble clearly hails from the same camp as Drakeo The Ruler - Stinc Team - but with that flow and sense of humor, he may develop a lot more than just a strong following out on the West Coast. Look out for Remble, he is knocking on the door of blowing, he’s just one key feature away...)

47. “The Shifts” - maassai feat. AKAI SOLO

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/the-shifts-feat-akai-solo

(If you haven’t checked out one of 2021′s most quietly impressive albums, I cannot recommend With The Shifts enough.)

46. “BOXINABACK” - Bris feat. Alphie Blood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3ai7WYivGo

(The career of Sacramento’s Bris was really beginning to pick up momentum in 2020...sadly, he was killed the same year. I cannot pretend to be an expert in the Sscramento rap scene, I just know that it’s been bubbling for a while, and this song really captured my attention as soon as I heard it. RIP, Bris.)

45. “Last Day Out” - Rio Da Yung OG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB51CUUod1w

(Right before Rio Da Yung OG entered the penitentiary, he dropped “Last Day Out”, a song that perfectly captures what the rap game will be missing while he’s gone - and more brutal honesty than we are accustomed to hearing from Flint, Michigan’s punchline killer.)

44. “Thousand Miles” - MAVI

https://mavi.bandcamp.com/track/thousand-miles

(The whole EP is impressive, but I think this joint most actually captures MAVI’s rhyme skills, flow and song writing ability. With young talent like this bubbling up from the underground scene, the future of rap music is as strong as ever.)

43. “Appletree” - Valee & KiltKarter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPO2AXgZMSc

(Not necessarily a vibe that everyone will be into...but one that if you are into it, you will reap the rewards in abundance. It’s so enjoyable to hear Valee applying his unpredictable cadence to new music once again, made that much more enjoyable by the fact that he has already dropped THREE mixtapes in 2021 and it’s only July!)

42. “Next Chamber” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Method Man, Raekwon & Willie The Kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1amHQefki98

(Admit it: this is the type of production we have all been wanting on Wu-Tang albums for years. We won’t get it, but this is closer to the sound that they represented....and of course let’s not forget about the always welcome WTK feature, who does more than hold his own over the NY legends.)

41. “St. James Liquor” - Skyzoo feat. Aaria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWC_tFzqUz8

(Pen game’s don’t come much finer than Skyzoo’s. The Brooklyn MC put a lot of work into All The Brilliant Things, and the final result was a collection of thoughtful rap songs like this one: descriptive, autobiographical rhymes over beautiful instrumentation that conjures memories of classic Roots records, and the headspace that only the greatest early 90′s East Coast lyricism could provide. Great song, great album.)

40. “10″ - Drakeo the Ruler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIRJoQFyS6c

(One of the best stories in 2020 rap music was when Drakeo hit the street once again, after a painfully long stretch of time in prison. He really hit the ground running in 2021, dropping one quality track after another...but then again, he never really stopped making dope rap in the first place, be it in the studio or over prison phone.)

39. “MASSA” - Tyler, The Creator feat. DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vGz0bFutZs

(When folks were saying that Tyler was RAPPING rapping on his new album, this is what they were talking about. Not since Kanye West has a polarizing rapper-producer excelled so well at spilling his guts all over a track, and moments like this "MASSA” make Call Me If You Get Lost the standout project that it is.)

38. "DARTGUNZ” - Chuck Strangers

https://soundcloud.com/chuckstrangers/dartgunz-produced-by-samiyam

(Chuck Strangers remains low-key one of the best MC / Producers in the game, but Chuck is merely flexing his bar-work on this Samiyam produced gem.)

37. “Messy” - Nappy Nina & JWords

https://nappynina.bandcamp.com/track/messy

(Big shout-out to Pitchfork for putting me on to Nappy Nina within their rap song of the day section, The Ones. I love her music, and when paired with the incredibly gifted producer JWords - who I was only somewhat familar with thanks to previous terrific collaborations with MIKE and maassai - the result is a dope ass album like Double Down.)

36. “Nobles” - The Alchemist feat. Earl Sweatshirt & Navy Blue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoKO_v93g0

(The instrumental sounds as a triumphant as you could expect music from this trio to sound. My only complaint about This Things Of Ours was that it wasn’t 10-50 songs longer.)

35. “Nothing Like The Sun” - Tree feat. Roc Marciano

https://mctreeg.bandcamp.com/track/nothing-like-the-sun-feat-roc-marciano

(Okay so for the past few years, I had been pressing Tree, Closed Sessions, and just about anyone that would listen that a less than a minute clip from an old Tree promo featured an unreleased Tree & Roc Marciano joint. So finding out that this joint would *finally* being released on Tree’s Soul Trap album, it felt like Christmas morning. Now the world finally gets to hear two of the finest rap artists from the past decade plus!)

34. “nine lives” - maassai

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/nine-lives

(A great example of a song that seems to get better and better as it goes on, maassai & that horn sample are undeniably good on here.)

33. “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” - Drake feat. Rick Ross

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-lemon-pepper-freestyle?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(This one really radiates, “YES, you have heard this before”...but when it works so well, that’s not such a bad thing. Drake came ready to rap, and it will propel this joint to the top of many lists you will find on those other web sites.)

32. “triboro.” - Remy Banks feat. Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire, Wiki & A-Trak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwSJ-DtZRBk

(I dig this in a big way. A few of NYC’s finest, flexing over what feels like blasting Kraftwerk out of a boombox on the L Train? I’m so on board.)

31. “Safe To Say” - Good Gas, Fki 1st & Band Gang Lonnie Bands feat. Band Gang Biggs & Glockboyz Teejaee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aykhcv625u0

(Of all my favorite projects that dropped in 2021 thus far, I don’t know if any have been as inexplicably under-discussed as the Good Gas, Fki 1st & Band Gang Lonnie Bands banger, Street Dream Team. I stumbled upon the project completely by accident one week while thumbing through all of the new joints that dropped from Detroit MCs one week, and I have kept it in heavy rotation ever sense. While not necessarily a spot-on snapshot of Band Gang Lonnie Bands’ typical sound, for a Michigan outsider like me, it makes for a great entry level intro to one of my favorite rappers out of the Motor City right now.)

30. "Early Exit” - Lloyd Banks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BUofKVrb-A

(Yeah the Roc Marciano verse sounds like it was recorded over an old radio on cassette tape, but as someone from the real mixtape era, I’m not going to let shaky sound quality distract from the fact that every other part of the song is fantastic. The bars are there of course, but the beat and hook are all spot-on, and sound quality be damed it’s just great to hear Banks & Roc together.)

29. "Yonkers” - Wiki & NAH

https://wiksetnyc.bandcamp.com/track/yonkers

(Rife with experimentation and half-freestyles, and sonically living somewhere between Company Flow and Ratking, the subterranean metro sounds of Wiki and NAH’s Telephonebooth might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you have been checking for Wiki’s music prior to this point, chances are you are going to be feeling this collaboration with NAH, a producer that I was previously not familiar with, but became a huge fan over night thanks to cuts like “Yonkers”.)

28. “John Wick” - AKAI SOLO & Navy Blue

(Whether you still believe “lo-fi” rap is a legitimate sub-genre or not, there’s no denying the abilities of these two gifted writers/artists. The wind is blowing in this direction my friends, I just hope you get on board soon and stop neglecting all of the great rap music rising from this corner of the underground.)

https://akaisolo.bandcamp.com/track/john-wick-prod-navy-blue

27. “Let It Roll Interlude” by IAMNOBODI feat. Phonte & BeMyFiasco

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVA1hXEnwnE

(Hard to believe that arguably the strongest rap verse of 2021 would be so under the radar, but here we are...)

26. "Taylor Made Suit” - Evidence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qLIuc3z7KQ

(Perhaps the thing I love most about this new Ev - both the song itself, as well as the entire album - is how incredibly effective he sounds over minimalist production throughout. “Funeral suit, same as my wedding suit”...shout-out to the legendary MC and producer, both for everything that has has endured in his personal life and his ability to turn his pain into art.)

25. “GOOFIEZ” - Mother Nature and Boathouse feat. Valee

https://mothernaturebarz.bandcamp.com/track/goofiez-featuring-valee

(When Chicago talent gets busy on a record, not many can hang with them. Be on the lookout for more and more big things from the likes of Mother Nature, Valee, and Boathouse.)

24. “Peach Cobbler” - Navy Blue

https://navybluethetruest.com/

(I’m not sure if there is a “chosen one” right now, someone destined to reach such levels of success and/or respect that Drake & Kendrick-esque waves are felt over a generation...but if there is, the mega-talented producer/MC/skater/whatever he wants to be Navy Blue might fit the bill.)

23. “Rose Gold” - 42 Dugg feat. EST Gee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhmKfKZr-PQ

(There are more than a few songs off of 42 Dugg’s Free Dem Boyz that belong in my Top 50, but “Rose Gold” gets the nod off the strength of the menacing beat paired with 42 and one of the most scorching hot rappers walking the earth right now, EST Gee)

22. "MANIFESTO” - Tyler, The Creator feat. Domo Genesis & DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnDXCoHRl4o

(The Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber bar will garner most of the hype around this joint, but don’t let it distract from the fact that this song is one of the best collaborations between former Odd Future members since the collective’s creative peak.)

21. “What’s Next” - Drake

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-whats-next?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(Pay attention to this Drake guy, I think he has a shot of making it. He makes it seem so easy, yet he has no peers at his level right now. There’s the growing underground elite...then there’s Drake, and little competition to duke it out with him when it comes to smash rap hits....assuming that is still supposed to be a thing?)

20. “MOMENTZ” - Mother Nature and Boathouse

https://mothernaturebarz.bandcamp.com/track/momentz-2

(You would be hard pressed to find a more enjoyable, high quality tape than SZNZ. The Chicago MCs rock a beat that sounds like a Camp Lo leftover - and I mean that in the best way possible - and show a natural penchant for earwormy choruses that should serve them very well in this biz.)

19. “Grace Jones” - maassai

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/grace-jones

(Somewhere between spoken word and where Lyricist Lounge-era Rawkus resides, you can find the warrior poet that is maassai: quite simply one of the most impressive MCs in rap right now.)

18. “How It Feels” - Lil Baby & Lil Durk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAsRTTO8L2k

(I know how it feels to care relatively little about a collaboration project between two of the game’s more revered Lil’s, then be blown away by both of them rapping their asses off for like 20 songs.)

17. “Falling Out the Sky” - Armand Hammer & The Alchemist feat. Earl Sweatshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctmTme9cG74

(There’s wavy, and then there’s wavy in the hands of The Alchemist, Earl Sweatshirt and Armand Hammer. One of Haram’s many standouts, this one is probably not what fans expected when they first saw the album’s tracklist, but it might actually be more special than we expected.)

16. “Capitol 1″ - EST Gee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ng7Sg1_RTM

(Mark my words: by the time we reach the end of 2021, EST Gee will be in the top 10 of every reputable rap site’s best MC list. At least I know that he will most likely be on mine.)

15. “LUMBERJACK” - Tyler, the Creator feat. DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WOjaYotX1c

(Who knew we needed Tyler to join forces with DJ Drama to rap over a Gravediggaz joint? Never one to do what everyone expects, when this cut dropped about a week before his new album was released, it was clear that he was ready to pick up where he left off with his impressive bar-work on a flurry of features in 2020. Now that I think about it, after “Something To Talk About” and “327″ maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that Tyler dropped one of the hardest joints of the year.)

14. “The Stellar Ray Theory” - Mach-Hommy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3GWJrL2ht0

(The single that Mach & Griselda stans were terrified to hear, at the risk of revealing their no-longer-a-secret project to be a painful example of how far the parties had drifted since their over-publicized fallout, only to find the opposite: Mach & Gunn didn’t just find their chemistry once again, they improved upon it.)

13. “Sandra” - MIKE

https://mikelikesrap.bandcamp.com/track/sandra

(With his new Disco! album, MIKE managed to step outside of his typical lane of delivery, showing how nimble he truly is as a MC, and even takes his skills to another level as a producer, delivering what might be the most enjoyable album of his career thus far.)

12. "No Time” - Your Old Droog feat. Wiki

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y8Ozq9tMLE

(The new YOD album sounds so painstakingly written and executed, you would never believe it just casually dropped out of the blue one evening. Few are better at crafting themes without compromising the joy of listening to the music, Droog delivered once again.)

11. "What The Money Taught Us” - Skyzoo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV2QEbxMYgU

(This new Skyzoo album has so much beauty to unpack, please dig in if you have been keeping it on the back-burner for some reason.)

And now the Top 10...

10. “Folie Á Deux” - Mach-Hommy feat. Westside Gunn & Keisha Plum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF1-VvJsbqI

(Conductor Williams does it again, putting his own unique touch to one of Pray For Haiti’s standout cuts. The song is almost beautiful sound if it wasn’t for Westside Gunn, Mach and Keisha Plum pumping their own unique rawness into the beat. This one represents everything going right with Griselda right now.)

9. “Hallways” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Roc Marciano & Flee Lord

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrDrvozDzo4

(Superior to anything on last year’s Mt. Marci, Disco Vietnam really blessed Flee Lord and Roc Marciano with the type of late night loungin’ in New York banger that Roc knows how to knock out the park better than anyone. “Hallways” screams late night underground radio in a way that feels both nostalgic and fresher than just about anything out right now.)

8. "Seeing Green” - Nicki Minaj feat. Lil Wayne & Drake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diUcHDlCqMo

(Many have tried to recapture the skill, swagger, and star power of The Roc in the early 00′s, but most have not been able to come close. Leave it to the diamonds in Young Money’s crown to come through and capture the pomp and circumstance so successfully, it’s amazing that Just Blaze wasn’t somehow involved. If you aren’t feelin’ at least one of these verses, time to join a hater support group.)

7. “Prayers Over Packages” - DJ Muggs & Rome Streetz & DJ Muggs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2r2AYxN20ZI

(Most underground artists must be so excited to have the legendary DJ Muggs lace them with a full project, and I’m sure Rome Streetz was honored. But while Muggs delivered another strong performance on Death & The Magician, it’s Rome that elevates the material to truly masterful levels.)

6. “Wants and Needs” - Drake feat. Lil Baby

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-wants-and-needs-feat-lil?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(Yes Drake still has the touch, one of rap music’s few legitimate hitmakers left....but hot damn, it’s Lil Baby coming through to turn the joint to ashes that carries “Wants and Needs” to song of the year caliber levels.)

5. “S.R.D.” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Styles P, Ransom & Smok DZA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tzSrIZ8tso

(Don’t overthink it: the watery boom-bap backdrop provided by Buck Dudley is exquisite, and all three MCs go in. I think it’s time to admit that if it wasn’t for the like him or passionately hate him aura around Peter Rosenberg, a lot more folks would. be praising this compilation as one of the finest since peak DJ street tape era.)

4. “Black Sunlight” - Armand Hammer & The Alchemist feat. KAYANA

https://armandhammer.bandcamp.com/track/black-sunlight-featuring-kayana

(What more can I say about this union by now? Al dipping into his breezy bag to bless the lyrical onslaught of billy woods and ELUCID was not something that I thought I needed, but after hearing them cook together I don’t know if I ever want Armand Hammer to go back to the bleak soundscapes they’re often know for. The contract in style was so effective throughout Haram, bringing out the best from all parties, in my not-so-humble opinion...hopefully even more to come from this alliance.)

3. “TV Dinners” - The Alchemist feat. Sideshow & Boldy James

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuUGrlVivic

(A slick, seemingly harmless little head nodder from The Alchemist, Boldy and the rapidly ascending main-stage level Sideshow. I felt this one right from the jump the day Al’s This Thing of Ours EP dropped, and it’s remained high on my list of 2021 favorites ever since. Give me a bunch of chill MCs doing deceptively slick pen-work over a jazzy but simple loop, and I’m set.)

2. “The 26th Letter” - Mach-Hommy feat. Westside Gunn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7jcjW8h230

(Forget the albums that go for thousand of dollars. Forget the mysterious aura around him, forget the Twitter stan-dom and those that loathe them, and forget the flames of Griselda gossip that are fanned by both fans and doubters....and just imagine you never heard this MC rap before and you have just pressed play on “The 26th Letter”. )

1. “Kill All Rats” - Conway & Big Ghost LTD. feat. Ransom & Rome Streetz

https://bigghostlimited.bandcamp.com/track/kill-all-rats-ft-ransom-rome-streetz

(Whenever attempting to wrangle my favorite songs into one tidy list, there is one ex-factor that can elevate a collection of bars to an elite song: execution. You already know that when punchlines kings the caliber of Ransom, Rome Streetz, and Conway The Machine get on a record together, it’s bound to be a bar-fest....but to the extent of “Kill All Rats”??? Not expected. The name of the song itself invites a certain degree of redundancy, but when three great MCs jump on a track and write verses near the top of their skill level - and when a producer like Big Ghost sounds equally incensed with the instrumental that he brought to the table - even a straight-forward posse cut can end up being the best rap song of the year thus far.)

*COMING SOON: BEST RAP ALBUMS, AND RAP VERSES OF THE FIRST HALF OF 2021...stay tuned.* 👀

See also:

https://therappundit.tumblr.com/post/649527317251670016/best-of-the-1st-quarter

https://therappundit.tumblr.com/post/638904640503726080/the-best-rap-songs-of-2020-great-songs-that

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onestowatch · 3 years

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Maggie Lindemann Releases Thrillingly Magnetic Debut EP ‘PARANOIA’ [Q&A]

Rock, alt-pop songstress Maggie Lindemann has finally dropped her debut EP, PARANOIA. The EP is comprised of eight dark and enigmatic tracks that show Maggie coming into her own as an artist with a thrilling alt-rock sound. Having accumulated over a billion streams since she began her career in 2015, the 22-year-old is finally ready to present her highly anticipated first official body of work to the world.

We had the chance to talk with Lindemann about the creative process behind PARANOIA and how she's finally making the music she's always wanted to make.

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In an interview with TMRW mag, you mention that you were a different person growing up in Texas and that you developed into a new and more open-minded person in LA. It feels like since 2015 your music has also transitioned into a very experimental sonic space. Looking back, did you ever think you'd be making the music you're making now?

I've always wanted to make the music I'm making now. When I first started making music, I was making alternative pop, so I knew I always wanted to be in the alternative lane. I never really thought I was gonna be making mainstream pop. So yeah, I've always wanted to make the music I'm making now. At one point, I didn’t it was going to be possible because of how far into the alt world I was. I felt like it would look fake or just wouldn't look good if I randomly transitioned into rock music. But I listened to a lot of pop-punk growing up and this is something I've always really wanted to do.

Who did you listen to from the pop-punk world growing up?

My favorite band hands-down was Sleeping with Sirens. They're still my favorite now, honestly. I also listened to a lot of Black Veil Brides, Alesana, and Bring Me the Horizon. I would even wear this Bring Me the Horizon pendant all the time!

From the singles that have been released so far from the PARANOIA EP, you dove into many themes of loneliness, power, and paranoia. Can we expect similar themes throughout the rest of the EP?

Yeah, I would say so. All of it is pretty much following the theme of paranoia. Each song is a different form of it. "Gaslight" is obviously about that feeling of being gaslighted and wanting to hit them back harder. And with "Knife Under My Pillow," obviously it's about the paranoia I feel having to sleep with a knife under my pillow because I don’t feel comfortable in my own house. So, with the songs that'll come out when the EP drops, it follows that same theme but dives into other feelings you may feel in that headspace. “It's Not Your Fault" is about feeling like you're not enough in a relationship and how you end up self-sabotaging yourself.

So, it's safe to say this is a pretty dark record?

Yeah. I think there's only one kinda different song and that's "Love Songs."

The collaboration with Siiickbrain on "Gaslight" felt like such a great fit for the EP. What was it like working with her and can we expect any more collabs in the future?

She's literally my best friend in real life. I love her music and I think she's so sick. Just everything about her is so sick. I just said to her, "Dude, we should do something," and we immediately got into the studio with Cody [Tarpley] and made this track in literally a couple of hours. It was super quick. She's just so talented and I'm glad we were able to make that song. Hopefully, there will be more in the future. We've already made a couple of songs and she's helped write a couple of songs. We're definitely in the studio a lot together.

Which songs on the EP are you most excited for people to hear that haven't been released yet?

I'm probably most excited for people to hear "Crash and Burn" and "It's Not Your Fault." They're both such high-energy songs and I love when I can belt really high in songs. I put a lot of energy into those songs and I think that's why they're my favorites.

Your lyricism is not personal but extremely relatable. For me, the lyric "It's so loud inside my head," on "Knife Under My Pillow" really spoke to me and I'm sure many people with anxiety can relate. Are there lyrics that still stick with you from the EP?

On "It's Not Your Fault," there's a lot of strong lyrics that really hit me. I wrote that song when I was really struggling with my life. I was like, "Oh my god I'm sabotaging myself. I'm sabotaging my relationship." I felt like I was going crazy. A lot of the lyrics from that song have stuck with me. And I think on “Loner,” one of my favorite lines is, "I don't need permission to feel sad."

You had an amazing team help bring this record to life. You had John Cunningham (Halsey, XXXTENTACION), Josh Murty, and Cody Tarpley (Lauren Jauregui, SoMo) produce the record and you had Alex Lahey and of course Siiickbrain on as co-writers. What was it like to make this record with your team while dealing with COVID? Were some of these songs already recorded before lockdown?

Luckily, a lot of this was already recorded in 2019, which feels like so long ago at this point. I added "Crash and Burn" and "It's Not Your Fault" last year. To avoid multiple people at the studio, it would just be me and Josh or just me and Cody. And for the song I worked on with Caroline [Smith] (aka Siiickbrain), it was just me, Cody, and Caroline. We just worked in really small groups. It's crazy though, I was actually in the studio with Cody when we got the news that we were gonna go into a lockdown and that things would be closing. We freaked out because at the time we didn't know that it meant we could still go pick up food at restaurants, so we were just like, "We need to get home! We need to go to the nearest grocery store right now!" In hindsight, it was a little funny.

What has kept you grounded during lockdown?

I've still been doing sessions, but just over Zoom. I started them last year and I had never done Zoom session before so that's been a weird shift. I'm still just working on the album I want to have come out eventually and playing a lot of video games. Like A LOT of video games. I started streaming on Twitch so that's been fun! I also got a car over lockdown. I've never had my license and I had been saying "I'm gonna get my license" since I was sixteen and I'm twenty-two now so I'm happy I finally have it! It was a huge thing for me because that was my biggest procrastination ever.

When the world finally opens back up, whenever that may be, and live shows return, what would be your dream show or tour post-COVID?

I want to headline a tour so bad. I've done a few tours where I'm a guest or opening up, but I want to do a headlining tour. I want to bring Caroline with me. I feel like that would be amazing. That's what I was planning on doing last year after the EP's initial drop date, but obviously, stuff changed, and everything got pushed back. So yeah, I hope to do a headlining tour when things open back up.

Be sure to stream Maggie Lindemann's debut EP PARANOIA below!

#Maggie Lindemann #PARANOIA #EP #Q&A #Knife Under My Pillow #Loner

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twinkledadwa · 4 years

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Home is Where (a ghost nest #1)

november 7th, 4:47 am pst.

in all sincerity;

this interview was birthed from the innate fear of death. for what it is to ‘be a ghost’, beyond having the ability to slam doors after your passing, isn’t truly defined. a trait consistent throughout the many interpretations of angels, spirits, paranormal and such is the presence felt being an essence lost in time. ‘who’ a person is stops at their death. all human aspects stripped, ghosts work as an echo of a fading past; something more akin to a message in a bottle than an entity still living.

so, in our lives, do we strive to create essences that continue to build after our deaths? or do we attempt to capture our essences well enough at the moment to make our ghosts stronger? the latter has been adopted for ‘a ghost nest’. i hope, for everybody’s sake, that it isn't explained again. context felt necessary to clear up why these interviews are in a hybrid, ‘Dear Sally’-esque format. what this should be considered, at most, is an exercise in essence on a minuscule scale.

and on november 7th, at approximately 5:10 am pst, brandon macdonald expressed a similar sentiment. ‘tantrum provider’ for Palm Coast-based emo band Home is Where, they noted the name’s function as a subliminal advertisement; so that whenever the proverb it takes from is used, listeners at any moment in time will harken back to sound bleeding with vibrancy. ‘the scientific classification of stingrays’ (topical cover art) carries an urgency somehow familiar, symptomatic of the band stretching their foundations into their own monument. for ninety minutes, unknowingly breaths away from a new president-elect, we had a conversation.

this is Home is Where’s ghost nest.

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So, how long is too long for us not to have a presidential assassination?

Brandon: Um, that’s a good question. I was on a local podcast recently and, funny enough, I didn’t know going into it that they’re sponsored by a financial magazine? I lost my shit finding that out. I was laughing my ass off. I was like, “your financial magazine, right now, is supporting an artist who is a dedicated Marxist. A communist who sees these people on the street and knows that I represent exactly what they’re against”. The song isn’t meant to be about an actual assassination or about Orange Man himself. I wanted it to be a comment on the structure itself, you know, how long living within it does it take before everything builds up and we eventually bite the hand that feeds us?

Protest music that names specific presidents does not age well. Look at 80s punk, besides Dead Kennedys, mentioning Reagan. You know, what was the name of that compilation against Bush? The intention was to write a protest song that lasts longer than a presidency. Also, it was easier from a lyric-writing perspective, although there are plenty of words that rhyme with Trump. I don’t know about McConnell [laughs].

Videos of ‘stingrays’ live date back to January. Was all the material off the next record written pre-quarantine?

All of it. We were sitting on this material for a while, and we went into the studio in early April. We wanted to pump something out before, you know, the end of the world happened. So we got those done, it was mastered around May, and now we are waiting for a few more parts to be sent in. That’s no worries, it’s been a difficult time for all of us. The original plan wasn’t even to drop a single for ‘i became birds’. 2021 was coming up and we hadn’t released anything this year, so ‘stingrays’ felt like the most direct and obvious choice.

In the world, how do you see both your personal presence & Home is Where’s presence?

You know, I don’t leave the house much. If I do, I wear a mask. I go to work. I spend time with my cat. I hang out with my girlfriend when I can, as we’re pretty much on opposite schedules. The band hasn’t been up to much. We haven’t met since May and we’ve all faced changes in our individual lives, but at some point, when or if the chaos comes to an end, we’ll be playing together again. In terms of Home is Where? We’re an emo band from Florida. There’s plenty of those. This might be a pretty trash take, but a lot of the bands in the scene comment on liberalism, and you can only gain so much by listening to it. You should spend your time reading theory, doing something actually important, so you’d be able to make a change in the world. So, in the grand scheme of things, Home is Where is not important. However, it is something I love and am fortunate enough to do.

Dear Brandon, of Home is Where. I’m having trouble finding my own space when stuck home with my family. What should I do?

Charley, in Pennsylvania.

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Brandon: Is this referring to COVID?

I’m pretty sure it is.

. Okay, I think I have an answer for this.

In terms of finding your own space, just find something you’re passionate about and, fucking, dive headfirst into it. A few years back, around the time we started to get serious with the band, I was in a position where I didn’t have a job but I had enough saved up so that it was a few months until I had to worry about rent. With all the time I had, I wanted to buckle down and get really into something I wanted to learn everything about emo. You know, I knew Rites of Spring were the ones who started the genre and some of the stuff about the 90s, but I wanted to know all of it. There were 2000 emo albums that I downloaded and I listened through all of them. Everyone inspired me. Not all of them were good, no. Some were bad, but by listening to them, I knew exactly what I didn’t want to do. It helped clarify what I wanted Home is Where to sound like.

Find something you’re passionate about. You know, reading theory, making art, do something that makes at home in your home. You can do so many great things.

Do you have any song recommendations for this situation?

I have two! The first is, well, you can never go wrong with Cap’n Jazz. Pioneers, truly some of the greats. Tim Kinsella is a genius; I do my best to take what I can from him. It’s him and Bob Dylan. The song is We Are Scientists! (by Cap’n Jazz). I believe some of the lyrics do touch upon that feeling of being stuck around other people. Like, “starchy product scripted people I never asked to care about”? “you can’t look at the sky without looking right through it”? Those lines are, mwah, chef’s kiss!

The second is H.S. by Plunger. Let me pull up the lyrics to this. It’s another one that comments directly on feeling isolated from those around you. Here it is; “All these old faces/Smiling and laughing/But you’ll never leave fourteen”. Yeah, that seems to sum up the emotion this person expressed.

Dear Brandon, of Home is Where. Things recently ended with a person I had been seeing. I hurt them, didn’t communicate my feelings properly, and I feel like garbage for it. I leave the continent for 5 months in a few weeks, and I want to reach out before I leave, but also I want to give her space? Should I wait and see if she reaches out? I’m a dumb stupid idiot. Dumb stupid idiot, in Maine.

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‘Dumb stupid idiot’ [laughs]. That truly is an emo question. I am sorry to hear that you’re going through that. That sucks, man. Heartbreak sucks. I wish you the best in leaving the country during COVID times, seeing as that might be difficult, and hopefully, it opens your eyes to new things.

My one piece of advice is to give it time. I know a few years seems like a lot of time, but it really isn’t. There are moments where I, too, indulge in being derogatory towards myself. Home is Where has lyrics about feeling alienated, being hard on yourself. A few years ago, I moved back to the town I grew up in, and even though it was considered ‘home’, I didn’t feel that. It was tough. Eventually, over time, everything came together. You just gotta wait and look back when you’re in a better headspace,

You’re going overseas, you have so many new experiences ahead of you. Who knows, maybe you two will end up working out, we’ll see. You got this. I’m rooting for ya.

Do you have any song recommendations?

I came up with three, actually. One isn’t emo or anything close to adjacent, so I added another to compensate.

I Love You Too by Rainer Maria is the first one. It’s hard to find emo that deals straight up with a break-up, there isn’t much out there, but Rainer Maria stuck out. This song is killer. That entire EP is killer. One of the best emo bands ever.

Idiot Wind by Bob Dylan is my second recommendation. Which is not emo, but in terms of break-up songs, it doesn’t get much better than this. Blood on the Tracks is fucking brutal; Dylan puts blame on pretty much everything.

The other emo song is from, I want to say, around 2000 or 2001? Near the end of that 90s, ‘second wave’ emo, whatever it is considered. The song is For Meg by On the Might of Princes. It’s about Meg Griffin from Family Guy. No, it’s not. Actually, I am not sure, but this track has just about everything; it’s lo-fi, has some screams, and the lyrics seem to discuss a heartbreak;

”This is for you. to hold you close, to keep you Close to my heart. I'll scream it til your ears bleed You'll always have a friend in me”

Great, great emo that gets heavy. They’re the only emo band that Brave Little Abacus cited as an influence on their sound. You should definitely check them out.

Home is Where’s visual ghost nest (collages & mixtape visualizer) consists of: Modern Times//Halloween: Resurrection (”Busta Rhymes beating the shit out of Michael Myers is a 10/10 for me”)//Blood Diner//Simpsons: Hit & Run//City Lights//Woody Guthrie: Hard Travelin’//The Horror of Party Beach//Peanuts//Zippy the Pinhead//Fritz the Cat//The Enfield Haunting//Twin Peaks//Wayne’s World 2//Synecdoche, New York//Japanese Woodblock Prints

Home is Where can be found on twitter, facebook, and bandcamp. ‘i became birds’ out 2021 on Knifepunch Records.

their ghost nest is on spotify. questions for future ‘episodes’ can be asked under the advice tab.

this now exists. bless to brandon, Home is Where, and you all.

#what would be a good hashtag #interview #Home is Where #diy #emo #college #ghosts #ghost nest #florida is in stage 4. isn't that concerning?#bob dylan #tacoma

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animebw · 4 years

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Binge-Watching: Haibane Renmei, Episodes 4-6

In which I consider why this show’s pacing feels so slow to me, I muse over the many questions raised, and the numbing status quo is finally shaken up.

Where’s the Beef?

I’ve talked a lot about pacing while writing for this blog. It’s one of the most difficult aspects of storytelling to figure out, and it’s one of the most critical aspects of storytelling to get right if you want to keep your audience’s attention. What determines whether or not a story has good pacing? How can a show as languid and aimless as Mushishi keep my utmost attention for twenty six episodic adventures without much in the way of connective tissue, while a show as brisk and fast-moving as, say, Tower of God can feel like a bit of a slog to get through? Clearly, there’s no obvious delineation between too fast or too slow. So how do you determine what constitutes a well-paced story? Well, over countless hours of watching anime, the conclusion I’ve come to is that the speed of the plot is far less important than the speed of new information. Most stories are built on change, and the best way to keep your audience invested is to keep a steady stream of changes to the overall experience. This can be revealing new information about the plot, introducing new characters who forge new relationships with previously existing characters, exploring new settings, diving into new ideas, or even just telling new jokes that haven’t been told before. It’s through newness that investment is built, because it tells your audience that they haven’t gotten everything out of your story that they possibly could yet. There’s still more to discover, more to surprise, more to add to the overall experience and make it even richer. As long as you’ve always got something new to offer, and as long as what you’re offering is still good, you’d be amazed how patient an audience can be.

So when it comes to Haibane Renmei, the reason it’s kinda boring me isn’t that it’s a slow-moving story without much obvious plot direction. The reason it’s kinda boring me is that it’s slow in dishing out any semblance of newness. Much like Rakka, I feel adrift on aimless wings, wandering this static, unchanging world and wondering what meaning I can find in it. Which, you know, if the intent was to get us in Rakka’s headspace, mission accomplished, but there’s just so damn little for me to latch onto here. What little new information we’re getting about the world is the one point of genuine interest, and even then it’s spread and far between. Every episode is the same muffled blanket of heavy atmosphere over the same drab, washed-out locations, populated by the same aimless characters who so far don’t have any real arcs to speak of, going through the motions of everyday life without anything in the way of variety. So unless you’re the kind of person who values slipping into a contemplative trance through tone and atmosphere alone- which I am most definitely not- this is a slow-burn that just burns way too slowly. I’m hungry and eager to eat this stew you’re offering, show, but you’re not doing yourself any favors by cooking it on the lowest power setting. At some point, I’m just gonna give up and order pizza because it’s taking so damn long.

Between Worlds

That said, it’s a point in this show’s favor that despite my aggravation with its sluggish pace, I’m still interested to find out exactly what’s going on. If nothing else, I remain a slut for mystical, half-explained dream logic worldbuilding, and Haibane Renmei’s slowly unraveling mythology scratches a very Wolf’s Rain itch I’ve been missing for a while. There’s just so much inherent fascination in the symbols and iconography it’s playing with that I can’t help but get swept up in trying to parse it all. Case in point? Literally everything about the crow motif. Crows are scavengers, rooting around dumpsters without a place in this society, but they’re also free. They can soar above the walls that box everyone else in, seeing what the world outside this confinement looks like and bringing back trinkets of what lies beyond. The Haibane might have wings, but they remain firmly bound to the earth, made to carry on this uneasy servitude so as to not feel indebted to the town. Their charcoal wings can’t carry them anywhere; the black wings of the crows, however, can soar to the ends of the earth and back. There’s even a haunting little suggestion in the way Kana talks about why they chase the crows off: ”If we give them a place to feel comfortable, they might never fly again.” The only reason the crows are so free is because they cast off all obligations, going where the wind takes them and foregoing the attachments of the earth below. Beholden to no one and nothing, they have no place to call their home, forever listless and wandering. In comparison, the Haibane are expected to find their place in society, becoming part of the social contract of mutual support that keeps communities together. In surrendering their freedom, they gain community, as do all the humans who similarly promise never to venture outside their walls.

There’s a very afterlife-y feel to all this, and I don’t just say that because of the angelic imagery. This town is a place where people are reborn into spiritual beings, leaving all traces of their previous life behind them. It’s a holding place they’re expected to settle into, surrendering the autonomy they once had in life in subservience to a set of customs enscribed by some unknown figure of power. Everything they do, from the work they perform to the clothes they wear, is no longer their own; it’s all tied to the human residents, forcing them to forge connections that keep them bound in place. If you try to escape, like Reki apparently once did, you’re punished and stripped away from the people you tried to escape with (Side note, what was that thing Reki did where she made her ex’s wings and halo appear? Can Haibane hide their angelic traits? If so, why was this guy hiding them?). You can dream of the outside, for sure, but as Nemu’s coworker pleasantly opines, ”A dream’s only beautiful because it remains a dream.” It’s a fantasy that can never become real, existing only in imagination and flights of fancy. And yet, Rakka’s dreams keep turning back again and again to the crows. The symbols of freedom from responsibility and shackles, the birds who fly so far above all obligations that they can never call any place home. Her mind is fixed on them like a splinter she can’t quite pull out. Part of her isn’t happy with simply finding her place. Part of her wants to see what’s beyond those walls.

Part of her wants to be free.

Taking Flight

And as it turns out, there’s a kind of freedom waiting for her after all. Because at some point in a Haibane’s life, they are called away from their burdens and lifted out of this lonely little town. Sooner or later, they all pass on, taking flight and leaving their halos dark and cold behind them. And just like that, Kuu is gone, before we even really have a chance to know her. She’s gone somewhere far away, somewhere beyond these walls, somewhere she can never return from and her friends will likely never see her again. And after so long lolling about adrift in a numbing white sea, the world of Haibane Renmei suddenly delivers its biggest, most important, most striking bit of newness yet. The stakes are raised, the questions are amplified, and the monotonous ambiguity is stabbed with a red-hot spike of chaos. What causes these symbolic deaths? What did Kuu mean by saying that Rakka contributed to the fulfillment that brought about his passing? How is this going to affect how Rakka sees herself and her place in this world? Who else has Reki been left behind by, and what scars has that left on her? What does it mean, truly, to be a Haibane? If these questions were whispered in the background before, there’s no drowning out the noise they make now. And something tells me this show’s second half is going to have some fascinating answers in store.

Odds and Ends

-”WAKE UP!” akdhakjsdh okay Kana’s great

-Okay, pulling her by her halo was a great touch. Give me more of these characters interacting and butting heads, it’s working wonders.

-Kana choking down breakfast was great. She’s such a disaster.

-”Don’t talk, you’ll bite your tongue!” I LOVE HER

-”Who’d buy a watch from a non-punctual clockmaker?” I mean, fair enough.

-Aw, he let her repair it himself! He’s a good egg.

-”Thank you for the advice. On how to frame a parent’s thoughts.” Yeah, it must be weird to be born fully aware of who and where you are. No other babies can lay claim to that pleasure.

-Alright, if there’s any accuracy in this creation myth, painting the Haibane as God’s mistake that he decided to roll with regardless is... interesting. And the town floating somewhere neither on land or sea it interesting too.

-”How long is it gonna keep ringing?” klsjdkfjskdjfskd

-This house is just not giving her any good rooms, is it?

Hopefully the second half will give me more interesting things to talk about. See you next time!

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #haibane renmei #charcoal feather federation

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jessiemuks · 4 years

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Someone New

On Monday, 6/1, I'm starting an online writing class, an open-genre, generative seminar called From First Thought to First Draft. Ahead of the first session, the class is assigned to read an excerpt from Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones.

Goldberg writes about the timed exercise and committing yourself to it:

Keep your hand moving.

Don't cross out.

Don't worry about spelling, punctuation, grammar.

Lose control.

Don't think. Don't get logical.

Go for the jugular.

"If something comes up in your writing that is scary or naked, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy." This energy should be unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor—two things I recognize as ever-present in myself.

I've been writing "first fresh [flashes]" in Google Keep and privately copying them here. Thinking Tumblr and the internet at large don't need incomplete rattlings from my brain, I haven't felt comfortable posting them publicly.

Goldberg goes on to discuss ego and meditation. Ego tries to prove the world is permanent and solid, enduring and logical; however, the world is ever-changing and full of human suffering. "[Continue] to use your pen and record the details of your life and penetrate into the heart of them." Just liking continuing to sit with thoughts and emotions during meditation, continue to sit with them during writing.

Using the Headspace app, I've meditated almost every day in May ("Meditation May," as I've nicknamed it). I wonder if that's what lead me to this writing class. I was an English major in college—a degree that I use every day at my job at an eBook company, but not in the traditional creative writing sense. It's more technical writing: documentation, bug reports, business emails to publishers and colleagues. For years, I've had several ideas for fiction stories that I haven't pursued, excused by a lack of time, lack of interest, lack of commitment, and lack of courage. More recently, since entering my first long-term relationship, I've felt an outpouring of thoughts and emotions that haven’t had a place to rest other than my mind and Google Keep. They’re too big for digital sticky notes now.

I'm here on Tumblr to open myself up to writing, just as I am opening myself up to my first-ever writing class. I can't promise to be coherent yet (Goldberg: "I'm free to write the worst junk in the world"), but I aim to get there.

Goldberg's excerpt includes several metaphors to running:

"Some days you don't want to run and you resist every step of the three miles, but you do it anyway. You practice whether you want to or not. You don't wait around for inspiration and a deep desire to run. It'll never happen, especially if you are out of shape and have been avoiding it. But if you run regularly, you train your mind to cut through or ignore your resistance. You just do it. And in the middle of the run, you love it. When you come to the end, you never want to stop. And you stop, hungry for the next time."

Boy...big mood. I'm following several runners on Tumblr. If any of you happen upon my blog, please know that you're my inspiration right now. I'm thriving on photos of your Garmin watch, your winding and wistful trails, your flowy hair, your sunrises and sunsets. Just as I struggle with writing, I’m struggling with running, too.

#writing #running #meditation #books #first post #personal

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spinninginthevoid · 4 years

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Daily Thoughts #4

I suppose I could screech to my friends about this, but there's something nice about yelling into the void of the internet to detangle thoughts rather than get feedback and hear people say "you'll be fine."

Yes, I will be fine. But that kind of response just makes it worse. It doesn't allow me to fully dive into the feelings and process them. It's like slapping a bandaid on a bruise. (Like for real, what will it do? Nothing!) It just makes me feel like a) they aren't actually listening or b) they don't want to hear it.

Which, like, if someone doesn't have the emotional headspace to listen, I can understand. I'm currently being a bit of a ghost around some of my online friends because of the aforementioned bandaid.

I feel like Fe types do this a lot: they try to fix things or get frustrated when they can't, and try to shove some trite saying in order to "help" but it... really doesn't help. It makes my feelings seem small and not worth exploring, or just a pain in the butt to handle. I would rather someone say "that sucks" than "you'll be fine".

Because. I. Know. That.

I need to process my emotions! Telling me it will pass is like telling someone they can get through a traffic jam eventually!

In other news, I have emotions that I don't know what to do with and they're a big ball of meh.

Bored, anxious, tired (yeah yeah I need more sleep), frustrated...

Bored: School is pointless, it's a waiting game until the year ends.

Anxious: Going home is going to be weird. People may be the same as ever. I feel weird about acclimating back to a place where everyone speaks English. It will be nice! But I also worry about how to handle all the questions people will ask. Like yeah, it was a good experience. Do I love teaching in a foreign country? It's work, a means to an end, so I can't say I LOVE it. I'm used to being alone even more now, so going back home and having people in the house? I like my freedom a lot. Not that it will constrict me at all, just, feels weird.

Frustrated: Okay this one is because I haven't been writing, and I want to, but I'm stuck on a scene I don't want to write right now. Also, being bored and wanting to just finish the school year so that I can stop being stuck at work doing nothing productive (re: I could write, but I just need to write some rough sentences about what I want to happen and move past. Which I will do today if its the last thing I do.) But I also... just want to go home and face the changes that I've made. I want to see how my new perspective paints the world. If I can just talk to new people now because I. Can. Just. Speak. English. I should learn more Korean but like... I'll do that more when I get back. I want to change. I want to push my boundaries back. I want to Be More. I don't want to be that afraid little girl that can't do anything alone. I want to Accomplish. I want to Experience. Which, once school is over, I have plenty of plans to explore more of Seoul on my own. It might be cold, but I'll be free.

#enneagram 6 is that you #enneagram 6 #6w7 #maybe I'm wrong about 6w5 #wouldn't surprise me #lol always going back n forth yay #i want to MEET PEOPLE and explore #im terrified #thoughts #emotions #i need some cinematic dramatic music playing as I walk confidently down a street with my hair blowing in the wind #before I hide in my winter coat and shiver because I can see my breath in the air #maybe this emotion dump will help sort this out and finally bring me to life *nods to Evanescence*

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petersshirts · 6 years

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Stressed Out | tom holland

summary: you’ve been learning all week and your boyfriend thinks that it’s time for you to take a break

warnings: a lot of fluff! this got really cheesy but i’m a sucker for fluff sorry not sorry

words: 1,8 k

A/N: this little one shot is based on my own life cause i just started uni and it’s stressing me out.. so here i am, neglecting the stuff i need to do and writing this, because everyone needs a tom in his life to calm them down, am i right? This goes out to all of you who struggle with school or uni or something else, don’t worry! you will get through this x

You groaned and threw the pen on your desk, pulling your hair out of frustration. You stared at the screen of your laptop in front of you, wondering how you should be able to write all this stuff down and then learn it. Everything was just too much.

It had only been two weeks till the beginning of the new year of uni and the lectures had started all over again. And since that, you sat in front of your computer and were writing everything down you had learned in the daily lectures. And it was a lot.

Your friends had told you that the second year of Uni would be a bit calmer but with you studying Biology which was a subject full of thousand new words and explanations, it was pure stress. And you were not known for handling stress very well.

Whenever you had a lot to do, you shut down your phone and only concentrated on your work, shutting out all your worried friends that just came by to check if you were okay. You didn’t go out at all and your only rewards were two episodes of Friends in the evening. You just couldn’t let yourself down.

You knew that you were overreacting, but it was too late now to backtrack out of this learning mania. You were already in the subject, diving deep and learning new stuff while not seeing any sunlight. You also had a cold but you were just way too busy to get out of your dorm and get some medications.

To be honest, it bothered you that you were shutting down your surroundings and your friends, but you didn’t know a way out. The only way out was the end of the semester and with that, your exams and that was still more than four months away. But you knew that there was someone else who was quite bothered that you were not coming out of your shell.

„Hey babe,“ your head shot up when you heard the familiar voice coming from behind you. But you being completely lost in your work didn’t even turn around to give the person at least a smile.

„Hi“ you just mumbled and picked up the pen again, starting to write the next paragraph. Suddenly, there were hands wrapped around your waist and you flinched, not expecting that kind of touch. „Hey boo,“ his voice was needy but you just whined, trying to get away from him.

„Tom, I need to finish these pages,“ you mumbled and focused back onto the laptop screen to get your whining boyfriend out of your mind. But suddenly, a hand behind you shut the laptop and you sat there, staring at the wall, trying to process what just happened.

„Hey!“ you grumbled and tried to open the laptop up again, but your boyfriend left his hand on there so you couldn’t do it. With the other hand, he grabbed your chair and turned you around so you had to look into his eyes. You had to admit that he looked really really good. You had been so focused on your work lately that you had pushed Tom in the back of your mind. But now that he was right in front of you, his eyes staring into yours, you had to admit that you had really missed him.

„You’ve done enough work today, boo,“ Tom mumbled and pressed a kiss on your forehead. In one swift movement, he grabbed your arms and pushed you out of the stair, right into his arms. You giggled when he hugged you close. You buried your head in your neck and breathed in his familiar smell, feeling like home. Even though your head was still swirling from your biology notes.

„But I’m not finished with that presentation, T,“ you whined again but Tom just shook his head and waddled with you through your small dorm room, filling the room with laughter.

„I heard that you’ve been spending not enough time with your boyfriend lately so I think that he’s more important than those biology notes. And I also know that you will ace these exams, just like last year. And you could still enjoy life with me while you’re at it.“ Toms' face was pressed into your neck while he peppered light kisses on your skin, making you feel all giddy inside. You giggled again and a genuine happiness spread through you and you pushed your assignments in the back of your mind because of your attention-seeking boyfriend.

The two of you were now standing in front of the bed and were facing each other with small smiles on your faces.

„So what do you wanna do, Holland?“ A little smirk formed on Toms' face and he grabbed your coat from the bed and handed it to you. „Come on, there’s this new ice cream shop I wanna show you. And after that, we will watch movies all night and cuddle.“ You grinned at his words, feeling so lucky that Tom was yours. He was always looking out for you and had the same sense of doing something ‚fun‘. You were both relaxed people and you loved just laying in each other’s arms all night and talking about everything that came to your mind. And ice cream was the best starter for this kind of night.

You slipped into your coat and the both of you walked to the ice cream parlour that was only 10 minutes to walk from your dorm room. On the way there, Tom told you about his day or more his week, because you haven’t really seen him for a few days. He told you about the prank he had pulled on his best friend Harrison and how Tom was pretty scared of how he would get back to him. You laughed at his jokes and felt so comfortable and finally like you were yourself again.

You ordered your ice cream and it tasted delicious. Tom just had a sense for finding good sweets. While you were happily licking your ice cream, your boyfriend walked up to you from behind and snuggled close to you, pulling you to his chest. You giggled when he pressed a light kiss on your neck, feeling so happy that he was right by your side.

„How’s the ice cream?“ He mumbled into your ear and your smile grew even wider. „Really good babe. Thanks for bringing me here.“ Now it was Toms’ turn to grin. He was so glad that you were finally here, outside with him and not in that room completely lost in your own thoughts all over again.

Tom loved that you were so passionate about biology because that was what you wanted to do. But he hated that you got completely lost in it sometimes and started to forget everything around you, including him. Tom was not needy but for him, you got him through every bad day. Whenever he was feeling down, you were there to pick him up.

Whether it was just a funny story you told him or photos from a puppy, you always made him smile. He appreciated you so much but it was hard for him to express his love for you. So that’s why he tried to get you out of your headspace and back to the real world, back to him.

You stayed like that for twenty minutes till both of you had finished the delicious dessert. On the way home, Tom decided to take a little detour before you headed back to the dorms. Tom led you to a small park you had never been in before; when you walked home from Uni, your head was always way too full of important tasks you had to do to appreciate the beauty of the flowers and trees in the park.

The sun was already setting while Tom and you walked through the calm space, hand in hand. You felt so happy and completely at peace with your love by your side. You looked up to Tom, who also had a smile on his face while looking forward. The last few rays of sunshine were reflecting on his face and he was so so beautiful. How did you even get such a great man?

„Darling, you’re staring.“ You were brought out of your thoughts at Toms words and a little chuckle. But you just grinned at him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. „Hm, am I?“ Tom nudged his nose with yours and stared at you, not believing that he had found you. Damn, he was lucky.

„Yes, you are.“ He just stated, not able to form any words.

„I just think that you’re very beautiful. And that I’m so lucky to have you thank you for making my days so much brighter and getting me out of this learning hellhole. I get stuck from time to time.“

Toms' eyes moved to your lips and you just grinned, knowing what he wanted. You slowly moved forwards and kissed him softly, closing your eyes in pure bliss. Tom immediately responded to the kiss but whined when you backtracked. You giggled at him and stroked his cheek slowly.

„I love you,“ you mumbled, still feeling weird about saying those words.

You had been together for six months and it had been only a few times that you said the three words. But you meant them. Every single time.

Tom grinned at you and kissed you again, showing with his actions that he was feeling the same. You stayed like this for a long time, holding each other so close that you were not sure anymore where he ended and you started.

The sun had slowly disappeared and it was getting chilly. You were slightly trembling so Tom backed away and grabbed your hand.

„Come on, let’s get you home.“ You just nodded and you walked back to your dorm in a comfortable silence. A smile was still resting on your face and you were sure that it would stay there for the rest of the day.

With Tom, everything was well. Everything was calm; your brain and your heart. With Tom, it was like falling and feeling completely safe, cause he was there to watch over you.

Permanent Taglist and some mutuals:

@smexylemony // @ive-got-more-wit // @lou-la-lou // @loxbbg // @seanna313 // @underoos-shield // @hollandfieldblurbs // @supernatural-strangerthings-1980 // @ixchel-9275 // @thejourneyneverendsx // @sideeffectsofyou // @teenwolfbitches2 // @mywinterwolf

@peterpumpkinparker // @underoos-shield // @onedustyboi // @twilightparker // @h-osterfield // @revengingbarnes // @holland-peters // @spideyshere // @fratboievans // @rainbow-marvel // @thelazypangolin // @itsholyholland

#TOM #tom holland #tom stanley holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #spider-man #Spider-Man: Homecoming #peter parker #petersshirts #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #Avengers #Avengers infinity war #marvel #MCU

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