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currantlee · 3 years

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Language: English Rating: General Audiences (G) / P6 Warnings: - Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Genre: Slice of Life Characters: Roxas, Kairi Relationships: Roxas & Kairi Words: 5,118 Chapter: 1/1 Beta: No beta, I’ll die like Ven (didn’t in KHUX) Notes: I apologize if there are any vocab / grammar errors as English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it regardless 😊

Roxas blocked the strike just in time. He had thought Kairi was aiming for his hands in order to knock the struggle bat out of his hand, but as it turned out, she had aimed for his legs instead.

He staggered backwards. Her strikes weren’t exactly powerful – she wasn’t the strongest fighter in general, neither on offense nor on defense. A single well-placed hit could render her incapable of going on in a serious fight. But Kairi was quick enough to avoid most if not all of these, and her impossibly high stamina was giving Roxas a hard time actually securing any kind of hit in their current sparring session. He knew he was running out of strength, and the hot, humid air of Destiny Islands wasn’t doing him any favor either. If he didn’t manage to land a hit soon…

Another strike followed swiftly, but this time, he didn’t manage to block it – she hit his arm full-force. Which, considering that it was Kairi, wasn’t much. But even with just a Struggle bat as a weapon, it was enough for Roxas to drop one of his bats.

She didn’t give him any chance to recover, let alone counter. At least Roxas was able to block the next strike this time, even though he already missed the bat he’d dropped. He really was better off dual-wielding.

Kairi aimed for his legs once more – no, wait, she was aiming for his flank! He managed to jump out of the way just on time, but still…

Roxas gritted his teeth. He needed to get back on the offense.

Another strike almost hit his other arm. She knew she had her chance, and she wasn’t going to miss out on it. knew that it was only a matter of time until she secured her victory in this match. He hadn’t been quick enough landing his hits on her – if she didn’t get cocky and gave him another opening, this was a loss.

Maybe he could…

Roxas smirked and took a small step forward, despite the fact that she was obviously going for another attack.

Kairi stopped her attack and withdrew immediately. She changed into a more defensive stance, obviously thinking that she had given him an opening, and prepared to block his incoming strike – one that would not come yet. Kairi lowered her bat in confusion.

There was his chance.

She let out a yelp of surprise as she staggered backwards. She obviously hadn’t taken the possibility of a bluff into account. Then again, Roxas didn’t use the tactic very often.

But Kairi wasn’t finished yet.

Just as Roxas wanted to take this opportunity and go for another strike, she dropped her bat and charged towards him, tackling him with her entire weight. He yelped as he dropped his other bat, both in surprise and an attempt to catch her, lost his balance and fell onto his back. Good thing the sand of the beach was so soft.

Kairi, who was slumped right across his upper body, rested her head on her hands and grinned at him over her shoulder. “Do I win?”

He might have lost both of his bats and Kairi had more stamina than him, but that didn’t mean Roxas wasn’t able to fight anymore. She let out a squeak when he suddenly flipped their positions. Now she had her back on the ground, and he was on top.

Roxas grinned. “Not so fast.”

“Aw, come on,” Kairi protested with a fake pout. “I had you!”

“Had,” he countered. “Because now I have you.”

She smirked. “You sure about that?”

Roxas could tell she was up to something. She always had that mischievous smirk on her face whenever she was about to make a rather dark-natured joke or planning something. She probably had another surprise move in stock… Should he put a little more of his weight onto her? He didn’t want to hu-…

Something started tickling on his flank.

“Hey, that’s unfair!”, he yelped. He couldn’t help but start giggling immediately afterwards though. He pressed his eyes shut out of a reflex. He had to laugh so hard that he could barely breathe, and it was hard to control the rest of his body.

“I thought the bad guys don’t care about honor and rules,” Kairi said, and Roxas could almost hear the smirk in her voice. “So why should I?”

“Stop!”, Roxas laughed instead.

“Only if you admit that I win.”

“Never!”

“Hm. That’s truly unfortunate.” Kairi managed to sit up somehow, even though she push him off her entirely. She smiled mischievously. “I guess I have to keep tickling you until you finally admit to your loss…”

In moments like these, Roxas wondered whether she truly was a Princess of Heart. Weren’t they supposed to be pure light and good? Well, Kairi surely had a devilish streak. “Fine! Let’s call it a draw,” he giggled. He knew that despite her claims, she wouldn’t keep this up forever, but he didn’t know whether he could hold out until then.

“… Okay.”

And finally, the tickling stopped. Roxas took a deep, relieved breath.

“A draw it is then,” Kairi smiled.

For a moment, time seemed to stop. Suddenly, he could hear the chirping of the insects, the birds singing, the roaring of the sea and the waves crashing at the shore – all those things that had been there all the time, but he seemed to have forgotten or simply not perceived them.

Then, he realized he was laying right on Kairi’s lap.

If he could have, Roxas would have blushed now. He could almost feel his vascular liquid flowing into his cheeks, and the characteristic cackling of a slightly embarrassed Nobody escaped his throat.

“You know,” Kairi smiled, “it’s a real shame you can’t blush. I bet it would look cute on you.”

“I could put some rouge on if you want to see what it would look like on me,” Roxas offered. It wouldn’t be the first time he did this, although he had to admit that the thought of wearing it because Kairi wanted to see how a blush would look like on him was much more pleasant than wearing it in order to hide that he was a Nobody. Not all worlds were as accepting of them as Destiny Islands and Radiant Garden were.

“Aw, that’s sweet! You don’t have to though,” Kairi quickly dismissed the offer. Maybe she thought that he minded wearing makeup – which Roxas did, but it was more because he minded having to hide who he was than the makeup itself. Therefore he was glad that he didn’t have to do that in most worlds.

“You’d like it though,” Roxas pointed out.

The always-present peach flush on Kairi’s cheeks intensified – she was blushing. Heh. He had caught her. Roxas smirked. “Well, look who’s blushing now.” It made her look very cute.

Kairi giggled softly. “Okay, you win this round.”

It was like someone had wiped all of the mischief off of her. If Roxas hadn’t known her as well as he did, he wouldn’t have believed that the girl who had tickled him until he admitted that he hadn’t won their sparring match earlier and this girl who giggled while admitting that he got her were the same person. But they were one and the same person. It was incredible how Kairi could be impossibly cute in one second and incredibly mischievous in the other, and one of the many things he liked about her.

Kairi was just overall a very likable person, Roxas thought. She was a great friend who always looked out for others, even though she could be mischievous at times. She was always so patient and never got annoyed with his or Naminé’s incompetence when it came to everyday stuff, instead trying to understand their situation as best as she could. She was dedicated to whatever she set her mind on, something that Roxas found admirable, especially when it came to fighting. It clearly wasn’t her strongest suit, but despite that, she kept trying her best at over and over again.

“I gotta say though, you are improving,” Roxas smiled while sitting up. “When it comes to sparring I mean.” He didn’t think anyone could match her when it came to wits – or at least Roxas hadn’t met anyone yet.

“You think so?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I really had a hard time against you today.”

She blushed again, and even turned away. “I got lucky,” she tried to brush it off.

Roxas shook his head. If she had just gotten lucky this once, he wouldn’t have struggled as much against her. “There’s always a little bit of luck involved in a fight,” he argued. “But I don’t think it’s just that, Kairi.” There was no reason for her to be humble about her growing skill, so he wouldn’t accept it.

“Are you sure about that?”

Roxas smiled and nodded. “You still aren’t the best fighter, that’s true.” He wanted to be honest with her. “But you don’t have to be. You have other qualities that are far more important than that.”

Kairi smiled. “Thank you for saying that, Roxas.” She was still averting her gaze. “You’re so sweet.”

Another cackle escaped him at that. He didn’t want to address it any further though, so he just shrugged while he stood up and patted the sand off his swimming trunks. They were at the beach, so he had figured it would be a good opportunity to finally wear them, even if he didn’t go into the water. “I’m just telling you how I see it, that’s all.” He held out his hand to her in order to help her up. “Wanna go for another round?”

“Maybe later,” Kairi answered as she gently took his hand and stood up as well. Roxas noticed that she was trying to do most of the work by herself. “I could really use some cooling off right now, and you look like you could too.”

She was right. He was still sweaty, and while the climate on Destiny Islands wasn’t searingly hot, it was fairly humid. Roxas didn’t hate it, in fact he even liked being on Destiny Islands, but he preferred Radiant Garden when it came to the climate, especially when it came to physically demanding activities like sparring.

“Would you mind if we go into the water for a bit?”, she asked.

Roxas gulped. Yes. Yes, he did. To be fair, he should have known that training on the beach would lead to that sooner or later, but…

The warm feeling of Kairi’s hand on his shoulder interrupted any more incoming thoughts. She looked at him with a concerned and slightly serious expression. “It’s okay if you don’t want to,” she said. “I know even the thought of setting a foot into the water scares you. But the sea is quite calm today. It’s completely save.”

It didn’t look that way to him. The sea looked dark and deep – how deep, he had no idea. Maybe Kairi knew. Besides, the water was moving. Sure, the waves weren’t as strong as they were on most other days he had seen, but they were still there. Could the force of a single one be enough to knock him over?

Roxas sighed. He knew that he couldn’t avoid any water that wasn’t rain, from a shower, in the sink or for drinking forever. Besides, Kairi was here. She had saved him once already. If he was save near water with anyone, it was her. He had to start somewhere.

So he nodded. “I’ll try.” His voice came out a lot more quiet and squeaky than usually.

A wide smile spread across Kairi’s face. “Okay. Shall I go up ahead?”

“That would be fine with me,” he said. “Just… Don’t go too far away, please?” Roxas felt silly saying this, but he also didn’t want to be alone out there.

“Alright.”

She didn’t waste a single second. While Roxas still fiddled with his shirt, admittedly dawdling, she already made her way to the shore and walked into the waves. She was wearing one of those water shirts alongside her bikini panties, and had already discarded her shorts before they started sparring.

Roxas sighed again after he had finally pulled his t-shirt over his head, and bashfully scratched his arm. He felt so stupid… Like he was overreacting. Rationally, Roxas knew that back when he had almost drowned, it had been because he had been wearing a heavy, black coat and been thrown into the water by complete surprise, without even knowing that he would have to keep himself afloat. Rationally he knew that now, this wasn’t the case. But it didn’t feel that way. It still felt dangerous and like something he’d rather not do because he wanted to live a while longer. And while Roxas knew by now that emotions and rational thinking didn’t work in the same way, it still confused him whenever his heart and mind weren’t just slightly off-tune, but directly opposing each other.

Well, there was no way around this anymore – he had already agreed to going into the water with her. Roxas sighed once more and finally followed her slowly. He absolutely didn’t feel like running towards the shore, it was not like he was looking forward to this. Sure, he was sweating as well, but still…

He stopped. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea at all.

A rather large wave came and reached his feet. It wettened the sand underneath his soles, and washed around his feet. Roxas was surprised to find that it was cooler than the humid air around him, but not unpleasantly cold. Maybe he should go in, just a little bit? But then again, what if the water pulled him downwards again, under its surface? If he couldn’t breathe again? Then he would…

Roxas gritted his teeth and pressed his eyes shut. ‘Maybe as long as my feet stay on the ground, I should be safe.’ The last time, his feet hadn’t been on the ground… It had been too deep down for him to stand. But as long as he could, everything should be okay, right?

He took a few steps forward, until the water reached his ankles. The sand beneath his feet was surprisingly soft, and not hot like on the beach at all. Maybe it was the water since it was cooler. He took another step. This really wasn’t so bad…

Roxas opened his eyes, only to see Kairi floating in the water with her face up and her eyes closed.

No… No, no, no, no, no! This wasn’t good… This couldn’t be good! Was she unconscious? Had something happened to her? Why had this to happen now? What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t swim!

“Kairi!”

She wasn’t too far away from him. Roxas remembered the promise they had made to each other, that if one of them were to come into a life-threatening situation, the other was not going to sacrifice themselves. But he had to try and do something! Maybe his feet would still reach the ground where she was now…

Disregarding the fact that he was in the water, Roxas walked over to her as fast as he could. It made every single step harder, and not just because he felt like he was risking his life. It slowed him down significantly, as if it was pushing against him. The waves didn’t help either.

He didn’t want another person who was important to him to die… He had lost too many of them already. Losing her too… He couldn’t bear the thought of it. Fortunately, Kairi was drifting not too far off.

Surprisingly, the water wasn’t too deep – it barely reached his hips when a wave rolled around, so it had to be shallow enough for her to be able to stand without problems as well. What had happened?

It didn’t matter now. He needed to get her out of the danger first… If he could. Roxas tried to remember how Kairi had done it back when she had rescued him from drowning, but the memory was foggy. He knew that she had pulled one of his arms onto his back, was he supposed to do that too? Wouldn’t that hurt her? He knew his arm, especially the wrist, had stung afterwards, although a simple healing spell had quickly fixed that.

He decided to go for the option that seemed like the most comfortable one to him: to simply grab her under the arms and try to pull her out of the water.

Kairi let out a tiny scream. With a movement that was a lot swifter than Roxas would have predicted, especially considering how much harder the water had made reaching her, she was back on her feet and turned around. Roxas almost expected her to summon her Keyblade as well – if she wasn’t who she was, she probably would have, judging by her expression. Fighting was usually Kairi’s last resort if everything else failed.

“Roxas? Sheesh, don’t give me a scare like that…”

He raised his hands in defense. “Sorry,” he murmured. “It’s just… You were drifting motionlessly and I thought…”

‘I thought I was going to lose you too.’ He didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want to even think about it. That meant thinking about the people whom he had lost already. Thinking about that time he almost lost his own life. Thinking about the possibility that it might happen again. Thinking about how he didn’t want to lose her in particular… And forgetting about the bliss that was not thinking too much.

“Oh.” Kairi bit her lip. “I’m sorry. I should have considered that…”

Roxas shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said. “You can’t take everything into account. Besides, you just gave me a scare, that’s all.” He was pretty sure that wouldn’t happen again. Next time, she’d probably warn him or something – that was just how Kairi was. Snarky and mischievous, yes, but also kind and considerate.

“Oh, okay. I guess we’re even then.” She sighed in relief and let herself fall onto her back again. Roxas was surprised to see that she stayed on the surface of the water – despite her feet not touching the ground.

There was a strange beauty to Kairi floating in the water like this, he thought. Her hair was open today, and right now, it flowed around her head like gravity wasn’t a thing anymore. Her entire being seemed to be weightless, but especially her hair. It was long, and floated around her head in three-dimensional waves and swirls, creating unique and fleeting patterns. It was actually darker than its usual maroon whenever it was wet – Roxas liked to compare the color to chili chocolate. But when the sun was shining on it, the red came out even more. But the water seemed to distort some of the light, and those distorted reflexes just added even more depth to those patterns.

She seemed to be completely in her element, and she made it look so easy… But he knew the dangers of the water. He had almost fallen victim to them himself before. Seeing Kairi float like this, even when he was right there and had already overreacted… It made him feel even more uneasy than he already was.

Roxas swallowed. “Why are you doing this?”

She opened her eyes a bit. “Because I find it relaxing,” she replied. “Trust me, the water isn’t as scary once you know how to move and to keep yourself afloat properly. It can even be your friend.”

That sounded like the complete opposite of Roxas’ experience with this element – the last time his feet hadn’t touched the ground of a stretch of water, he had felt like something was pulling him under the surface of the water constantly, and he hadn’t been able to breathe, let alone cry for help.

“I can show you what I mean if you want to.”

He had to admit, he was curious.

“Does it involve going into the water any deeper or… You know…” He took a deep breath. It was getting ridiculous at this point – he couldn’t even say one single word. Roxas gulped. “D-Diving?”

Kairi shook her head. “Nothing like that,” she said. “I just thought about carrying you around a bit.”

“You mean a piggyback ride?” They had done that before, although he had been the one carrying her. Roxas wondered how that was supposed to show him that water wasn’t scary.

“I mean bridal style.”

Oh. So she was talking about carrying him in front of her, in her arms. Roxas had to admit that he kinda liked the idea, but at the same time he couldn’t help but think about how she was going to manage that. The one time he had carried Kairi before had been extremely exhausting, and he was probably a bit heavier than her. Plus, even though Roxas admired her seemingly limitless stamina, she wasn’t exactly physically strong.

Besides, there was the issue with the water. It had pulled him down last time, why should this time be any different? Could she really withstand that pull downwards?

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Kairi said. “It’s just a suggestion.”

“I might be too heavy for you,” Roxas pointed out. “No offense, Kairi, but… You aren’t exactly the strongest…”

“True,” she nodded. “The water will carry a lot of your weight for me though.”

That sounded like the opposite of Roxas’ previous experiences with water… But he also knew Kairi wouldn’t suggest this if she wasn’t absolutely sure. If he had to entrust his existence – his life – to somebody, it would be her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t already saved him from drowning once, and Roxas had no doubt that she would do it again if she had to.

He didn’t want to bring her into the situation again, but the fact was just… She knew better than him with his fear of deeper stretches of water and little life experience. If she deemed it safe, then perhaps it was a lot safer than he thought.

Roxas slowly took a few more steps into the water, closing the distance between them. By the time he stood in front of her, he was deep enough for the waves to cover the scar on his abdomen.

Kairi waited for him patiently. Since she was smaller than him, the water reached up to her ribcage.

Roxas swallowed. “How do you suggest we do this?”

Kairi smiled, hearing that he really wanted to do this. “However you feel the most comfortable,” she said warmly, and that alone made Roxas feel a little bit more secure. “We can go a bit closer to the shore if you feel more comfortable with that, or…”

“Can I just hold on to you?”, he interrupted her. He didn’t know where that came from – he just felt a lot safer with her.

Kairi shrugged. “Whatever you feel most comfortable with.”

If she wanted to carry him bridal style, he couldn’t just hug her, Roxas realized. So he put his arms around her neck instead.

Kairi wrapped one of her arms around his torso. “Ready when you are.”

Roxas nodded. “Okay.”

He actually didn’t like the thought of his feet leaving the sandy ground of the ocean at all, even with Kairi holding him… Didn’t that mean he brought her into danger too? Since he couldn’t swim… What if he panicked in her arms? Would she be able to handle that?

Roxas didn’t remember that time when he almost drowned too well. He only remembered not being able to breathe and the feeling of being dragged down. The way Donald and Goofy had described it in their retelling of the events however, it sounded like he had been panicking back then too though. Kairi had been able to save him despite that. She knew what she was doing… But also, Roxas didn’t want to bring her into this situation again.

… Fine. He just had to not panic then.

Roxas lifted one of his feet up. He immediately felt the waves stronger than before, like they were trying to push him off balance – would he fall? Was this it? He pressed his eyes shut and gasped for air. Maybe he could…

“Easy,” Kairi said, and he felt her other arm in his kneecap, realizing that she kept him from sinking. “One step at a time.”

He opened his eyes again. Kairi looked completely calm – not scared in the slightest. Somehow, that made him feel a bit calmer as well.

Roxas knew from experience that fear rarely got better from waiting too long. If he left his other foot on the ground for too long, it would eventually take over once more, and they would get nowhere from there… And he had come this far. Roxas grit his teeth as he took another breath, then pushed himself off the ground.

There was the fear again.

He gasped for air once more.

‘Don’t panic.’

Now that both of his feet weren’t on the ground anymore, he just waited for the water to pull him downwards once more.

‘Don’t panic!’

Or a for a wave to wash both him and Kairi away. He just hoped she would be able to come out of this unharmed…

‘Don’t panic!!!’

This had definitely been a bad idea… A thousand things could go wrong…

But nothing happened.

Roxas opened his eyes again – he hadn’t even noticed that he has pressed them shut this time around.

The first thing he saw was Kairi’s face. She was smiling at him, with a sense of pride in her expression. “You did it.”

For a short, weird moment, Roxas wanted to argue. He hadn’t really done anything, except successfully suppressing a panic attack, but before he could say that, he realized something way more important: he wasn’t sinking. Despite the fact that his feet didn’t touch the ground anymore, the water didn’t pull him under the surface. Sure, Kairi was there holding him too, but for some reason, Roxas didn’t get the feeling that she was fighting to keep him afloat. It was almost as if she didn’t have to carry the entirety of his weight – as if the water was helping her.

“How are you doing that?”, Roxas asked. “Are you using magic or…”

Kairi laughed. “Actually, I’m not doing much,” she confessed. “The water keeps you afloat on its own. It’s just what it does.”

“But…” The last time it hadn’t done that. “How?”

Kairi laughed. “I don’t know if I’m good at explaining this, but it’s basically because water is part of what your body is made of.”

That couldn’t be right. Ansem had explained Roxas how a body worked in detail when he had first nursed him back to health after…

“It’s made of cells,” he corrected her. “And I think those are made of various carbon compounds, not water.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Kairi shrugged. “Still, your body contains lots of water too, but a lot less salt than the sea does. Salty water is heavier than sweet water is, so you float on the surface.”

Huh. That sounded logical. Still… “The water was salty too last time though.”

“But you weren’t wearing swimming trunks back then,” Kairi pointed out. “Clothes tend to drag you down when they get wet.”

That made sense to him as well. “Fair point,” Roxas admitted. Maybe this was a lot safer than he had initially thought… He even relaxed a little.

Up until now, Roxas hadn’t realized how tense he had been – he had been clinging to Kairi’s neck like his life depended on it. To be honest, that was how he had felt. But after all, it didn’t feel all that dangerous. Even if Kairi wasn’t able to hold him anymore, he could simply put his feet back onto the floor of the ocean.

“Hey, would you mind if I go in a little deeper?”, Kairi asked. “I think that would make it a bit easier for me to carry you.”

Roxas didn’t know how he felt about that… Did deeper water mean greater danger?

Kairi smirked in that mischievous way she always did whenever she was up to something. “I promise I will never let you drown.”

Somehow, the joke did its job – it managed to get a small, albeit nervous laugh out of him. “Good one!”

Roxas knew that Kairi would never expose him to danger on purpose. He trusted her. Besides, if it was too much, he could always back out. She would never force him to face his fears, even though she sometimes gave him the motivation he desperately needed. Besides, he really wasn’t a good judge when it came to water.

So he nodded. “Alright.”

Kairi smiled. “Tell me when to stop, okay?”

“Okay.” He didn’t plan to though. He wanted to push his own limits a bit, and how to do this better than together with someone he trusted, who also knew the thing he was afraid of a lot better than he did?

It was still good to know that he had the option though – even if he didn’t plan on using it now.

Kairi walked deeper into the water slowly. To Roxas’ surprise, he barely noticed it. Either Kairi was lifting him up higher by herself, or the water was – most likely a bit of both though.

She stopped once the water reached her chest. “Is this okay?”

Roxas nodded. “It’s fine.”

He relaxed some more, this time his entire body. Now that he did, he suddenly felt how tired his muscles were, and not just from the training earlier. A general wave of sleepiness washed across him. Must be the adrenaline rush wearing off…

Roxas leaned back so the back of his head was against the water. For some reason, he didn’t mind the water flowing into his ears anymore, nor did he mind the muffling of all the sounds he had heard before. Instead, he could hear a light, quiet crackling. Kairi was right… He had done it. And he would do the rest that it took to learn how to swim as well… Maybe not today, but this was certainly a beginning. But he couldn’t have done this without her.

He lifted his head a bit and smiled at her. “Thank you.”

Kairi smiled back. “You’re welcome, I’m glad I could help a bit.”

Roxas sighed as he leaned back once more. “You know, Kairi… As long as you’re with me, I know I’m safe.”

#Fanwork #Fanfiction #Kingdom Hearts #KH Fanfiction #Roxiri #Roxiri Week #Roxiri Week 2021 #Roxas #Kairi #KH Fanwork #Currantlee writing #Currantlee completed Story #Currantlee completed KH-Fanwork #Currantlee completed KH-Fanfic

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currantlee · 3 years

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Language: English Rating: Mature (M) / P18 Warnings: Mentions of Cannibalism, mentions of non-consensual body modification Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Horror Characters: Kairi, Sora, Ienzo, Yozora (memory), Ventus (mentioned), Master of Masters (mentioned) Relationships: Sora & Kairi or Sora/Kairi (SoKai) - can be interpreted either way Words: 4,544 Chapter: 1/1 Beta: FanficWriter827 Notes: This is probably one of the darkest fics I’ve written so far. Nothing explicit or extremely gorey, but please be sure to proceed with caution regardless. Other Platforms: -

Kairi tried to be quiet when she closed the door of the lab behind her and walked towards the middle of the room.

Sora was sitting on an examination bed, his legs dangling over the edge. He didn’t look happy, but calm and relaxed. Almost as if he had never been gone in the first place. Seeing him with an expression like this, it was a bit hard to believe the horrific things that had happened to him during the year and the few months he had spent in Quadratum alone.

He almost instantly spotted Kairi when she came through the door, despite her best efforts to be quiet. A wide smile formed on his face. “Kairi!”

She smiled back. “Hey.”

Kairi still couldn’t quite believe that he was really back yet, even though Riku and her had found him weeks ago. Maybe she just wasn’t used to it yet.

Sora slid off the examination bed and walked towards her.

Kairi tried to not stare at his body. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable… In a helpless attempt to distract herself, she turned to Ienzo, who was currently arranging some papers, probably related to the examination he had just completed by the looks of it.

“How are you?”, Sora asked. He now stood right next to her.

She shrugged as she turned back to him. “I’m good,” she said. The more important question was… “How are you, Sora?”

He laughed. “I guess I could be worse.”

Kairi supposed that was true. The past few weeks and month had been rough. There had always been the very real possibility that Sora was already dead and their search was for nothing, something Kairi and Riku had feared very much. Despite that, they refused to give up on him, especially after they finally had a clue that was as good as a confirmation that he was still alive.

Even after they had finally saved him, they initially weren’t sure whether he would recover from what had happened to him for some time. And after that, there had been little time to spare for looking after his wellbeing. Yozora and his friends had needed every bit of help they could get, and of course Sora had wanted to help too. She just hoped he hadn’t overdone it, especially after everything he had been put through previously.

“Are you sure?”, she asked. “You’ve been through a lot…”

“In fact, he is doing surprisingly well despite his… Current condition,” Ienzo remarked as he walked towards them. Apparently he was done arranging his papers. “I must admit that when I first heard about the occurrences that befell you, Sora, I presumed you would be in a much worse state.”

Kairi bit her lip. So there was something wrong with him aside from the obvious part?

“If you excuse me, Kairi, but I must ask you to leave the room for a few minutes,” Ienzo continued. “I want to talk to Sora about his condition…”

“It’s fine,” Sora interrupted. “I don’t mind her listening.”

Ienzo turned to Sora. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “It’s fine, Ienzo. Really.”

Ienzo sighed and did something with his papers. “Alright…”

“How bad is it?” Kairi couldn’t keep quiet about this question any longer. It had been lingering in her mind ever since they rescued Sora from the Gigas – well, actually, she had wondered about it ever since she first met Yozora. He had been through the same thing after all, although he additionally had his memories erased as well, something that Sora had fortunately been spared from.

Ienzo sighed. “As I’ve already told you during the examination, Sora, some of your organs were technologically augmented. Several of them were also removed and replaced with mechanical compounds entirely.”

Kairi gulped. That sounded awful. She couldn’t help but think about what the Gigas must have done to him in order to get those augmentations where they were, and she felt like the thought alone was tearing her apart. It disgusted her. But even more so, it made her angry to know that Sora, or more accurately his body, had been modified in order to be used to power and control a weapon, all while he had been forced to watch without being able to do anything about it. Now he had to live with the aftermath of it, while the person behind the Gigas force had gotten away and would likely threaten their reality next. Kairi had no idea what the Master of Masters was up to, but she wanted to tear him to shreds for the pain he had caused Sora, albeit indirectly.

It was just so unfair!

To her surprise though, Sora seemed to take the news with much composure – he simply nodded slowly. Maybe it was because Ienzo had already told him before, or maybe Sora had changed at more than she had realized yet.

“Disregarding those deviations in your physiology however, your bodily functions are just fine. Again, I must say I am quite surprised.”

Kairi sighed. That was a relief… She had been prepared for worse. That still didn’t answer the big question though…

“Can…” Sora paused. He was looking down on his own hands, and the black plating that covered the skin. It made him look more like a machine than a human, but Kairi knew that underneath that façade, he was still Sora. He would always be Sora.

“Can you… Change me back to how I was before?”

Ienzo looked down onto his papers. He was avoiding direct eye contact, Kairi realized. “I have to admit… I do not know.”

Sora sighed and hung his head.

“I will have to discuss it with Even,” Ienzo continued quickly. “He knows much more about these things than I do.”

“Can’t you duplicate the missing organs with the replica technology?”, Kairi suggested. She didn’t know too much about how it worked, but… “You did replace one of Ven’s kidneys that way when it had stopped working in the Realm of Darkness.”

“Indeed,” Ienzo nodded. “However, it was a fairly easy surgery with little risk of failure. If it had not worked, he would still have had the other one to keep him alive. At worst, we would have had to remove the replica kidney again if his body had rejected it.”

Kairi already knew that the procedure had technically not been required. But Even had been eager to try and see if the replica technology could be used for good purposes, such as medical ones, as well. Ven wouldn’t have had to agree, but he had done it anyways. Much like Sora, he could never decline an opportunity to help someone, even when it meant getting surgery for research purposes.

“In Sora’s case, however, it would involve multiple complicated surgeries, some of which I am not sure we are even qualified for. Additionally, the internal organs are not what I am most worried about regarding such a procedure.”

Kairi gulped. That didn’t sound good…

“Then what is the problem, Ienzo?”, Sora asked. He had become very quiet.

“The exoskeleton,” Ienzo answered. “It is practically fused with your skin. In order to even reach the internal organs, we would have to remove at least parts of it, which subsequently means that we would have to remove your skin in the area concerned as well.” He sighed. “In any case, it would be a very lengthy procedure with multiple complex surgeries involved.”

So there really wasn’t any way… Kairi lowered her head as well. Of course she had been aware that it might not be possible to restore Sora’s body to how it was before he had been taken by the Gigas. She had hoped that there might be a way though, for his sake. They had never really talked about how he felt about the state of his body ever since his rescue, but she strongly suspected that he didn’t feel comfortable with it. She couldn’t blame him after everything he had supposedly been put through.

If it already upset her that much – how must he feel about it?

Sora lifted his head and nodded. “I understand.” He tried to manage a small smile, but it didn’t look like an honest one to Kairi. “Thanks regardless, Ienzo.”

“You are very welcome, Sora,” Ienzo said. “I promise I will talk to Even as soon as I get the chance. I just don’t want to make you any promises right now.”

So there was still hope? Kairi would have liked a definitive answer better than this…

“Why don’t you two catch a bit of fresh air and come back later?”, Ienzo suggested. “It might help to take your mind off the situation.”

How long had it been since she had last spent an extended amount of time with Sora alone? They hadn’t exactly gotten to that in Quadratum, unless the times when Kairi had watched over Sora while he was asleep counted.

“It sounds like a good idea to me,” Sora said. “Are you up for it too, Kairi?”

She managed a small smile. “Of course,” she nodded. “Let’s go!” After all, that’s what she had come here for: to spend some time with him, and maybe to help a little if it was required. She just wanted to make sure he was okay.

---

They ended up going to the castle garden, where they sat down on a bench near the fountain. It was currently in the shade of a tree, so the sun didn’t burn down on them.

For a while, neither of them said anything. Kairi didn’t really have an idea on how to start a conversation with him. As many questions as she had, she didn’t want to pressure him into talking about the time he had spent in Quadratum alone, the state of his body, or his appearance for that matter. He was the one who had to decide whether he was ready for that or not.

So she simply allowed herself to look at him for once, taking in all the changes to his appearance for the first time in weeks.

Instead of the comfy clothing he used to wear, a skin-tight black exoskeleton now enclosed his entire body up to the neck. It had a few scratches here and there, but overall it seemed pretty indestructible. Kairi still had no idea what exactly it was made of, but it surely wasn’t metal. She had been surprised by how little Sora weighed when she had freed him from the wreckage of the Gigas he had been the central unit of, since she had expected him to be much heavier.

He also had those weird things that looked a bit like headphones now. At first, Kairi had assumed that he could just take them off, but as it turned out, that wasn’t the case. Just like the exoskeleton, they were like a part of his body now.

The by far most outstanding piece of the exoskeleton however, at least when Kairi was concerned, was the backpiece. It looked a bit like a second spine, just that it had some red-glowing circuits and ports on it. It was the part that had connected him to the machine he had been a part of. Kairi knew there was also a tracker in it, but it wasn’t functioning anymore. Ran, one of Yozora’s friends, had ensured that so the Gigas would stop trying to retrieve Sora in order to insert him into another mech – or to turn him into nutrition for other central units.

Kairi’s stomach turned just thinking about that. She remembered how shocked she had been when she first learned about this from Yozora, back when he had first explained what Gigas did with the humans they abducted. ‘What did you expect?’, Yozora had commented in response. ‘The central units still have to get nutrients. And it’s not like the Gigas can just walk into the next store to buy some food, especially considering they give it to them intravenously.’

‘I know that,’ she had retorted. ‘I’m not dumb! It’s just cruel and really gross!’

‘They’re machines,’ Yozora had responded in his rather infuriating calm and collective way. ‘They don’t care about ethics.’

The conversation had taken place before they had found out that the Master of Master was responsible for the creation of the Gigas – and also the one who gave them the idea to use humans as a core component of their mechanical bodies. It just made the entire thing even more gross in Kairi’s opinion.

After all of this, she was simply glad Sora was still alive, even though they hadn’t found a way to restore his body to how it was before he had been transformed into a central unit yet. Quadratum might be free from the Master of Masters’ rule at this point, but the city was still in chaos. The undamaged equipment at the hospitals was needed to treat the injured survivors, and things would likely take some more time to calm down.

They also didn’t want to be an additional burden to Yozora, who had turned out to be none other than the rightful heir to the throne and was now getting accustomed to his new duties. It hurt to leave their new friends behind, especially since clearly everything wasn’t well just yet. But like Yozora had said: they had done everything they could for Quadratum. They rest was something they could help very little with. They needed to look after themselves now. Besides, someone still had to stop the Master of Masters, who had escaped to their reality. Kairi really wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine.

Therefore, they had decided to return to their own reality, hoping that Ansem and his disciples might find a way to restore Sora’s body to its former state. She had barely realized it had already been a week since then – it felt like yesterday since they had finally arrived home.

„You know,“ Sora said, „this body actually has its advantages.”

He didn’t sound too convinced of his own words. Knowing him, he might just trying to be optimistic in order to push his true feelings away, since he couldn’t change his situation right now anyways.

Kairi raised an eyebrow. “Like?”

“Uhm…” He seemingly couldn’t think of a single thing immediately, which only supported her suspicion.

Kairi sighed. Ever since they had returned from Quadratum, he had been avoiding his friends to some degree. Whether it was because he didn’t want them to see him like he was now or because he didn’t want them to worry about him because they noticed how much he hated the state he was in she didn’t know, but it was so unlike him. She wished he would open up about those feelings, but she also knew she couldn’t force him to.

“I can hear a lot better than before,” he finally said, but he still didn’t sound convinced of his own words. “Like, I can hear very high and very low sounds, even if they’re really quiet…”

“You actually hate it, don’t you?”

Kairi couldn’t bite her questions back any longer. It hurt to see him like this, trying to convince himself that everything was fine when it obviously wasn’t. Why did he not open up about it? Was it just a classical, stupid Sora-move because he didn’t want to bother his friends with his problems? Or did he not trust her anymore? Maybe he even thought she couldn’t take it because she was too weak…

‘No,’ Kairi thought. ‘Sora would never think of you that way, even though you were too weak to prevent this from happening.’

Had she not get caught by Xemnas, Xehanort wouldn’t have killed her. If Xehanort hadn’t killed her, Sora wouldn’t have used the Power of Wakening to bring her back, which eventually led to his disappearance to Quadratum. And if that hadn’t happened, he would never have encountered the Gigas, meaning that he wouldn’t have been transformed into a central unit for one.

It was all her fault.

“You’re right,” Sora admitted quietly. “I do hate it. But it’s not your fault that I am like this, Kairi.”

Kairi meant to tell him that he was being too good – it was her fault, at least indirectly. But she knew it would only lead to a discussion she wasn’t here for. She wanted to help him as far as she could, not argue with him. “You can still talk to me about it though.”

Sora sighed and leaned back against the back of the bench. He looked up to the sky, seemingly absent-minded. “You heard Ienzo before,” he finally said quietly. “He doesn’t even know whether they’ll be able to restore my body to how it was, and even if they are, it could take a long time. I might as well come to terms with it.”

It made sense, when he put it like that. But at the same time, it scared Kairi. The Sora she knew would have stayed optimistic that Ansem and his disciples would come up with a way to restore his body. Had he really changed that much in Quadratum or was he just desperate?

“I...”

He hesitated. Kairi bit back another question that burned on her tongue – she wanted him to take all the time he needed if he was going to open up.

“I miss eating.”

Kairi had never really thought about that part before. She had gotten so used to him not showing up to the meals that she didn’t even question it anymore, and neither did the others. She knew that the central units were fed intravenously – with what were technically human remains, that part would undoubtedly haunt her forever. In fact, both Yozora and Sora still took in their meals that way, although nowadays their nutrients came from labs, not from corpses.

“I know you don’t have to eat anymore, but can’t you just get yourself something and eat anyways?”, she asked carefully, realizing that she still had no idea how all of this worked and probably should have asked about the details sooner. She didn’t want to upset him even further.

But Sora just shook his head. “They replaced my entire digestive system with mechanical compounds,” he explained. “If I eat or drink, it might damage them beyond repair. I could die.”

“Oh.” She should have thought of something like that. Kairi knew he liked to eat, and especially to try out new dishes. If there was any way he could still eat, he probably would have already. “I’m sorry, Sora.”

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “I just wish I could at least drink some water. It’s not the same to get your nutrients injected into your veins, even though that at least keeps me sated.”

He sounded so sad… Kairi wanted nothing more than to take his hand and squeeze it, but she stopped herself from doing so, seeing as his hands were also covered by the exoskeleton. He had explained to her, shortly after waking up for the first time, that the sensors in it registered the touch and even told him what it was, but he couldn’t feel it and how that was weird. Kairi found that a bit hard to imagine. She didn’t know if holding his hand would actually help him or only remind him further of the fact that his body had been changed without his consent.

So instead, Kairi slowly raised her hand and gently brushed the skin of his cheek with her fingers. It was a lot cooler than she expected – was that another effect of having part of his body mechanized?

Sora turned to her with a surprised look on his face, and for a moment, Kairi worried that she had gone too far. But then, a small smile tugged on his lips.

Encouraged by the fact that he was apparently fine with this, Kairi placed her entire palm on his cheek. She even dared to push a few hairstrands behind the weird headphone thing that covered or replaced – she wasn’t entirely sure about that part – his ears.

His hair was shorter than it had been before Quadratum, but spiky and unruly as ever. Kairi suspected that it had been shorn off completely when Sora had been changed, and that it had grown back over the time he had spent inside the Gigas as its central unit. According to Yozora, the machines weren’t exactly known for great maintenance, since it was much more efficient to build a new one than to repair the old ones beyond the most basic functions. So why should they have cared about his hair beyond what was necessary to change his body for their purposes?

Sora leaned into her touch, sighing quietly. “I miss this too.”

“What?” She had never touched his cheek like this before, so that couldn’t be what he meant.

“Feeling,” Sora clarified. “I mean, I can still feel things on my face and head, and I get information from what the sensors in the exoskeleton are picking up, but…” He didn’t finish whatever he was going to say, and instead nuzzled her hand with his cheek, closing his eyes. “This is so good.”

“But it’s not the same?”, she tried to finish what he had said earlier.

“Yeah,” Sora confirmed. “At least on the parts covered by that stupid exoskeleton.”

Kairi suppressed a giggle, not wanting to give him the feeling that she was laughing at his situation. She couldn’t help a smile however. It was good to see that he hadn’t changed in each and every possible way.

Sora yawned. “I’m tired.”

She hadn’t heard that from him in a while. Immediately after his rescue though, she had heard it a lot, but she couldn’t blame him for it.

Apparently the entire time he had spent inside the Gigas, he had been fully conscious. How he and others that had been rescued before him had managed to survive this ordeal was a complete mystery, but after his rescue, the first thing Sora had done was to sleep for several days straight. No one had been able to wake him during that period of time, and Kairi had even been worried that he might never wake up. Even once he did eventually wake on his own, he had still complained about how he was incredibly tired for two weeks. She was pretty sure he had slept more than usual as well.

“Do you want to rest a bit?”, Kairi asked him, just like she had back then whenever he had mentioned how he was tired again.

But Sora simply shook his head. “Nah. I’ve already been resting quite a bit after all.” He yawned once more and stretched. “I just didn’t sleep that well tonight.”

Kairi had a suspicion why. “Nightmares?”

He nodded. “The usual ones.”

Kairi sighed. ‘The usual ones’ meant dreaming about being stuck in that robot again, with no control over his own body, forced to watch as horrible things happened in front of him. She would have liked to give him a hug, but she wasn’t sure whether Sora was comfortable with that either. “Do you want to talk about it?”, she asked instead.

Sora shook his head. “Not right now,” he responded. “Maybe another time.”

“Okay.”

Sora yawned again. “Maybe I could close my eyes for a little bit though…”

Kairi grinned. Sure – just closing his eyes for a little bit. “Do you want to lean on me too?”

It was a joke that had become common between them after Sora’s rescue, when at first he had gotten tired quickly and needed to rest frequently. Every time, Kairi would ask him jokingly if he wanted to lean on her, and every time Sora would end up responding in some non-sensical way. They would then both have a laugh, and depending on whether Sora was up to it or not he’d rest his head on her shoulder for a little bit before leaving to take a nap somewhere. She didn’t expect the answer he gave her this time around though.

“That would be nice.”

Kairi felt her cheeks heating up. Sora had never been that upfront about it before. He still was full of surprises, wasn’t he? Maybe it was just because he was really tired – the examination on top of not sleeping well must have exhausted him. Kairi just couldn’t tell him no. “O-okay,” she said. “Come here.”

He moved a bit closer to her, until their shoulders were touching. Huh. That was new as well.

Much to her surprise, Sora flinched at the contact.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I just… You don’t have to do this, Kairi. I understand if it’s uncomfortable for you or…”

He was talking about the exoskeleton, she realized. Well, that and the fact that he was technically part-machine now. Not that Kairi minded much about that. Sure, his appearance had changed a lot and in some ways, she couldn’t interact with him just like she would before his disappearance. Simple questions had become potentially dangerous ground to thread on, and physical contact was something both of them still seemed to be insecure about.

But to Kairi, he would always be Sora, even when he was stuck as the central unit of a giant robot.

“It’s fine. You don’t make me uncomfortable, Sora,” she said, carefully wrapping an arm around him and gently nudging him a bit closer to her. “I’m just glad you’re back and alive. We’ll figure out the rest, okay?”

Sora nodded while moving a little bit closer to her. “Okay.” He sighed when he placed his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes. “Are you comfortable?”, he asked quietly.

“I’m alright,” Kairi said. Sure, the material of the exoskeleton felt hard and sturdy, but nothing she couldn’t handle. The more important question was… “Are you comfortable, Sora?”

He hummed quietly.

“Or shall I remove my arm from around your shoulders?” There technically wasn’t any necessity for it to be there, and his sensors must be ticking off.

She didn’t get an answer however. Instead, she heard regular breathing from her shoulder.

Kairi smiled. So much for just closing his eyes for a bit. She’d surely be stuck like this for a while, at least until Sora woke up again. Not that she minded much though. If she could help him like this, she was gladly doing it.

She did remove her arm from around his shoulders though, not wanting to do anything without his consent. And he didn’t look like he was slipping off the bench or her shoulder any given second.

Just when she did though, one of Sora’s hands tentatively touched her leg, as if he was looking for her in his sleep. Kairi blushed when he sluggishly wrapped his arm around her hips. Sora had always been a rather clingy sleeper.

Carefully, Kairi wrapped her arm around his shoulders once more. It was nice to see that despite everything he had gone through, despite the fact that his body had been changed possibly forever, some things were still the same. But most of all, it was good to see that he was still Sora.

#Fandom #Fanwork #Fanfiction #Kingdom Hearts #KH Fanfiction #Sora #Kairi #SoKai #Fanfic Friday #Currantlee writing #Currantlee completed #Currantlee completed Story #Currantlee completed KH Fanfic

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currantlee · 3 years

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Language: English Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (T) / P12 Warnings: - Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Genre: Almost-Fluff, Angst Characters: Sora, Roxas, Xion, Axel, Kairi, Riku, Chirithy, Ventus “Ven” (background), Aqua (background), Naminé (mentioned), the Master of Masters, Luxu Relationships: Sora & Riku & Kairi, Roxas/Xion (background) Words: 3,299 Chapter: 2/2 Chapter Summary: The birthday party finally goes on - but are Sora and his friends really the only ones celebrating? Beta: @theeeveetamer Notes: Sora going to safe Kairi alone because he wants to spare Riku is inspired by one of PhoenixDowner's KH3 analysis postings on Tumblr, which I'd absolutely recommend reading btw. Also, to avoid confusion on this part: I’m referring to Chirithy with they/them / non-binary pronouns. Other Platforms: -

← Previous Chapter

When Sora and Roxas returned to the others, the others had set up a bonfire and sharpened some sticks to grill food with.

Xion was the first one to notice them, as she immediately sprinted towards Roxas and asked if he was feeling better. When he nodded and apologized for not telling her what had upset him earlier, Sora thought he saw a few yellowish orange spots that looked almost like freckles on her face. He had already been told about her ability to change her physical appearance and how her emotions affected the changes, but he had never witnessed it until now. So this color meant… Joy? Relief?

Before Sora could really think about that further, Ven already dragged him to the bonfire, while Roxas and Xion stayed behind to talk to each other alone for a few minutes.

They grilled campfire bread, sausages, vegetables and marshmallows on sticks at the bonfire while swapping stories. Sora really wanted to know what everyone had been doing over the past year, and they were all too happy to give him an update on everything that had happened.

Roxas and Xion joined in a bit later, when Kairi was telling the others about the first time she ran into Ven when he was sleepwalking – something that had apparently given her quite the scare, since she told it as if she was telling a horror story instead. Sora was quite surprised when he noticed that the two former Nobodies were holding hands at first, but once Xion rested her head on Roxas’ shoulder and dark freckles appeared on her cheeks like a blush, he finally understood. A huge smile spread on his face.

They all exchanged stories well into the night. Stories of the past year, as well as childhood memories. Sora was a bit hesitant to share some of his at first – he didn’t want to remind the former Nobodies of something they didn’t have, especially since Roxas had been upset about it earlier. But then Xion mentioned just how much she loved hearing those stories from others, and when Roxas commented that he didn’t mind hearing about them since it gave him a better idea of what a childhood was actually like, Sora didn’t really have an excuse anymore.

When they all finally decided to go to sleep, it was already way past midnight.

Everyone had brought a sleeping bag – well, everyone except for Sora, but Riku and Kairi had made sure to bring his. No tents though. They were just camping in the open.

It took a while until everyone had found a good spot to sleep at, but Sora was glad to help everyone with it. Together with Kairi and Riku he made sure none of their friends were sleeping too close to the shoreline so no one would wake up in a soaked sleeping bag the next morning.

Soon, everyone was making their preparations for the night.

Aqua set up some kind of spell around Ven’s camp, probably to keep him from getting injured or into any trouble while he sleep walked. Meanwhile Chirithy argued that they could watch over him just fine as well, and Ven tried to mediate by saying two safety measures were better than one.

Naminé was apparently sleeping already. The ridiculously large coneflower she had been wearing laid next to her sleeping bag, weighed down with stones to keep the wind from blowing it away.

Sora’s eyes got caught on Roxas and Xion, who had apparently decided to share a sleeping bag. He smiled. It was admittedly a bit strange, seeing two former Nobodies confused about pretty much everything in one moment and then what was basically a couple in the next… Sora felt like he had witnessed a timeskip in moments like these.

Nevertheless, he was glad to see them being so happy with each other.

They had set themselves up at a nice spot not too far away from Sora’s own, where the beach was already fading into a meadow, behind a textile windbreak.

Xion had already slipped into the sleeping bag and laid down, back facing Sora. However, just as Roxas was about to do the same, Axel placed a hand on his shoulder. Sora couldn’t understand what he told Roxas, but judging by his slightly annoyed expression, it was probably some big brother thing.

Xion seemed to be amused by it though. “Axel!”, she giggled loudly, pretending to be shocked, which prompted him to chuckle in response. He ruffled her short hair and lightly patted Roxas’ shoulder as he turned to leave.

“Good night, you two.”

And with that, he headed over to his own sleeping bag.

Sora could see Roxas shaking his head a little when he crawled into the sleeping bag too, zipped it up and turned on his side as he laid down, facing Xion. She instantly snuggled up against him, even though Roxas hadn’t even settled down completely yet.

… And then, he briefly lifted his head, making eye contact with Sora.

Oh no. He had been staring, hadn’t he? Gosh, he hadn’t meant to… Sora just couldn’t help it sometimes. Watching others, especially couples, being happy just brought him joy as well – but at the same time, he tended to invade private moments sometimes. This had probably been one of them, so he prepared for a death glare from Roxas.

What he got instead was a smile and a nod – a silent ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re going to be okay’ at once.

… Huh. He hadn’t expected that. There was so much he still had to learn about his former Nobody… But for now, Sora just smiled and nodded back. ‘You’re welcome. And thank you too.’

He decided that he had watched those two long enough and should give them some privacy. Therefore he closed his eyes and finally turned on his other side, slipping his left arm out of the sleeping bag as he did so. The cool breeze on his skin felt so nice… It distracted him from the lingering sensations of heavy fabric on his skin.

“Hey lazy bum.”

He blinked and turned his head.

Kairi – in her pajamas – was looking down at him with a playful grin on her face. “Can we sleep next to you? Or is the spot already taken?”

Next to her, Riku shook his head, but Sora could hear him chuckling lightly, and even though he couldn’t see it, he was pretty sure that Riku was smiling.

Sora felt a blush creeping onto his cheeks – hopefully it was too dark for her to notice. “Uhm… Sure?”

It was funny, really. For such a long time, seeing them again had been his greatest wish, but now that they were all together again he wasn’t really sure how to act. They had been the ones to save him this time around, and Sora knew that he was forever in their debt. After all, it was his recklessness that had caused this mess in the first place.

But he just hadn’t been able to stand the thought of Kairi being out there, all alone, even if it was just for one more second. Much less the thought of Riku chasing after her, Xehanort’s words still echoing in his head. While Sora had no idea if he had already abused the Power of Waking at that point, and whether the price for that was already due or not, he just couldn’t bear the thought of pushing Riku into that danger. Not when there was the chance that he himself was already doomed.

At least they wouldn’t be alone. They would have each other. These thoughts had been a slight comfort for Sora, something he had held on to both while knowing that he didn’t have much time left in this realm, and during the year he had spent in Quadratum. Even though he now knew that it hadn’t been a happy year for Riku and Kairi either – all because of him and his stupidity.

And yet…

“Thank you,” Kairi smiled.

… It had somehow been worth it in the end.

As long as all of them were alive somewhere, they would always find each other again. Sora was pretty sure about that.

When they started to set up their own sleeping bags next to his, he realized that he hadn’t really gotten to take a close look at them ever since his return. Sure, he had briefly seen them in Quadratum, when they had come to help getting him back into the Realm of Light, but he barely remembered that. Sora had been at the end of his tether back then, suffering from a fever in addition to everything else.

After that, his heart had been resting inside of Kairi’s for quite some time, but that didn’t mean that he really got see her, or Riku for that matter, despite being with them all the time. And after his heart had been transferred to his Replica body, they hadn’t been around because they had been busy organizing the birthday party, as he now knew.

Riku looked much the same as he had a year ago. Sora found that he still couldn’t stop thinking about the similarities between Yozora and him. He had initially confused his best friend for the man when they first met again, still in Quadratum, freaked out and even attacked. He made a mental note to himself to apologize to Riku for that once the opportunity presented itself, it had been nothing but unfair. His hair had grown quite a bit too, and Sora found that it was a bit hard to see Riku’s eyes behind the bangs. Maybe that was why he hadn’t recognized him sooner. Sora made another mental note to himself to remind Riku to cut his bangs more often.

Meanwhile, Kairi looked a lot different than she had in his memories. She looked more mature. Sora supposed he did too. A year – more than a year, actually – was a significant amount of time, and this particular one felt like an even longer amount to Sora. Almost like an eternity.

Sora had always thought that Kairi was pretty, but over the last year, she had become stunning, if she hadn’t already been before. Beautiful even. Perhaps it was just a side effect of not witnessing the process, and only knowing the ‘before’ and ‘after’, but he didn’t care.

Kairi’s face had lost more of its roundness during his most recent absence. It looked somewhat slimmer, more elegant. Almost heart-shaped.

Maybe her new haircut played a role in this as well. Her bangs were side-swept now, and he was pretty sure that her hair was longer than before. He couldn’t tell how much longer exactly, since her hair was curly right now, but probably somewhere around shoulder-length.

Speaking of the curls, Sora found it pretty interesting how the moonlight reflected in her hair, now that it had texture. It looked a bit like the sea when the wind set it into motion, glittering as the moon’s light reflected on its waves.

“What is it?”, Kairi’s voice broke through his line of thought.

“Hm?” Sora hadn’t noticed that she was already settling down.

“You’re staring.”

“Uh…” He blushed once more, and was getting kind of relieved that she couldn’t see it in the dark. The entire situation was awkward enough. “I was just thinking… Uhm…” Sheesh, why couldn’t he just say what he meant to say…

“Yes?”, Kairi responded with a wide grin. “I’m listening, you know.”

Sora took a deep breath. This was Kairi, the caring girl whom he had known for almost his entire life. There was no reason to be scared of her – and yet, she made him so nervous…

“Give him a break, Kairi,” Riku chuckled and zipped up his sleeping bag, almost as if he wanted to emphasize his statement with the noise. “He’s already flustered enough as it is.”

Even after a year, Riku could still see right through him.

Sora swallowed as he turned back to Kairi. He could feel his cheeks heating up a little. “Your hair…” His voice came out quietly, almost like a whisper. He wasn’t even sure if she could hear it. “The curls look really pretty on you.”

That was probably the dumbest way to put it, but he didn’t know how else to say it. At least it was straightforward.

Kairi giggled, now seeming a bit nervous herself. “Thank you,” she responded. “Honestly, I like them as well. I’m glad I let Naminé convince me to do this…” She zipped her sleeping bag up and laid down as she spoke, and then turned on her side so she was facing him.

Phew. That… Actually went better than he had expected… A lot better than he had expected. Wait, was he supposed to keep the conversation going now? That… Uh… How exactly was he supposed to do that?

“So… Are you going to do this more often then?”

“I don’t know,” Kairi admitted. “It’s a good amount of work, and the heat isn’t very good for the hair either…”

“Maybe there is some kind of hair curling spell?”

“Probably,” Kairi said. “If there is magic to make an alarm go off when Ven leaves his room sleepwalking, I’m sure there is magic to curl hair as well.”

… Riku was awfully quiet, Sora suddenly realized. Was he feeling left out? Or had he fallen asleep already?

Sora turned his head to the other side, only to see Riku smirking at him. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Riku responded. “Nothing at all.”

“Suuure Riku,” Kairi giggled. “Come on, you can tell us.”

“I’m just glad Sora is back. That’s all.”

Somehow Sora got the feeling that this wasn’t entirely the truth… But alright. Now that he wasn’t flustered by Kairi anymore, he noticed how tired he actually was – far too tired to get into an argument with Riku. Maybe he should get some sleep. He could hardly keep his eyes open…

“Thank you. Both of you,” he whispered. “For everything.”

Riku shook his head in response. “Don’t mention it,” he said. “You’re welcome.”

Kairi smiled at him. “Well, it was the least we could do,” she said. “After everything you did for us…”

“Don’t bring this up again,” Sora murmured. What he had done for her would never reach the level of what she had done and continued to do for him. Besides… “I’ve only caused you heartbreak with what I did…”

His eyes snapped open again when he suddenly felt the warmth and softness of her hand on his left – but that wasn’t what startled him. The sensation wasn’t muted or overlayed by another one. It felt so real and clear…

For the first time since he had gotten his new body, it didn’t feel like he was wearing a glove and feeling everything else through the fabric – at least on his left hand.

He turned to her once again in surprise, and for a moment, he thought she looked a little scared. Maybe she thought that she had gone too far due to his reaction… But she hadn’t.

Sora smiled at her, and when he did, relief washed over her expression. There was that light again, the one that always seemed to be shining from within her, like she was always knowing where she was heading. Kairi was the light that always kept him going, always kept him on the right path even in his darkest hours… Or at least, the light that kept him from losing himself completely whenever he strayed from it. She was like a shining beacon to him – Sora’s light in the darkness.

“Well, you’re here now,” Riku suddenly spoke up, interrupting his line of thought.

Sora only noticed it now, but Riku had taken his other hand, and now squeezed it lightly, but reassuringly. A small wave of disappointment washed over him. Unlike the left hand Kairi was holding, the weird sensation still lingered in the right – the one Riku was holding. He almost sighed – he wanted to feel Riku’s hand too, just like he felt Kairi’s. They were both so important to him.

He squeezed back nonetheless. Riku’s lips twitched slightly as he did – he almost smiled. “That’s what really matters, right?”

“Yeah…” Sora yawned and his eyes fell closed. “It’s good to be back…”

---

Elsewhere, a hooded figure in a coat was flexing their left hand, the only part of their body that wasn’t covered in heavy black fabric. A tall man with an eyepatch stood at their side.

“So,” the companion asked after a while, “what is our next move going to be?”

“You’ll have to wait and see,” the hooded figure responded in a sing-song voice, that switched to a more serious tone as they continued. “Just be assured that now that I have a body again, things will become much, much easier.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh?”

“I am aware that our plan will become much easier from now on,” the companion elaborated. “But what exactly am I supposed to do next?”

“Ooooh!”, he hooded figure exclaimed, nodding in understanding. “Yeah, you’re supposed to… Well, actually you’re not supposed to do anything right now! Grab yourself some popcorn and enjoy the show!”

The companion sighed. “I mean, there must be something I can do…”

“Why? You already did a great job, Luxu! You deserve some time off!”

The other man – Luxu – sighed and shook his head. “With all due respect, Master, but the longer this conversation goes the more I get the feeling that there actually isn’t any plan at all…”

“Luxu, you’re truly hurting my feelings,” the so-called Master huffed, putting his hand on his chest as if he was in shock or truly insulted – only to chuckle immediately afterwards. “Why, of course there is a plan! I’m just not revealing it now! That would be no fun, would it now?”

The companion, Luxu, raised his arms and sighed in what was most likely defeat. “Whatever. I trust you know what you’re doing…”

The Master chuckled. “You know I always know what I’m doing,” he said as he slipped his black glove back on. “Especially now that I got everything I need for my grand return.”

He made a dramatic pause, before sighing theatrically.

“Seriously though, it feels so good to have a body again. You have no idea how annoying it is to walk these worlds without the ability to do anything.”

“So you’re happy with it?”

“Oh, I’m more than happy with it. I can’t wait to see their faces, you know?” He laughed as he removed his hood. Spiky brown hair poked out underneath, and when he opened his eyes they were of a very clear, bright blue. “This is going to be really interesting.”

---

Sora gasped as his eyes shot open.

He sighed in relief when he realized that he was still on the beach of the Play Islands with his friends, and no longer at the Keyblade Graveyard… Or some underground sewerage. Riku and Kairi were both slumbering peacefully next to him.

“Are you alright?”

He turned around and saw Chirithy floating in the air. A small smile found its way to his face. “I’m okay Chirithy. No need to worry about me.”

They kept staring at him though, seemingly concerned.

Sora sighed. “Aren’t you watching Ven?”

“Ven is having a quiet sleep tonight,” Chirithy replied. “But I sensed a nightmare coming from you, so I thought I might see if you are alright.”

Sora nodded. “I think I did have one,” he admitted. “Thanks Chirithy.”

They shook their head. “No problem, Sora. I hope you will sleep better now. Good night.”

“Good night, Chirithy!”

And with that, Sora went back to sleep as well.

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currantlee · 3 years

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Language: English Rating: General Audiences (G) / P12 Warnings: - Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Series: Another 358 Days (Ao3, Tumblr) Genre: Songfic, Romance Characters: Roxas, Xion, Naminé (mentioned), Riku (mentioned), Isa (mentioned) Relationships: RokuShi (Roxas/Xion), Namiku (Riku/Naminé, if you squint) Words: 5,416 Chapter: 1/1 Beta: @theeeveetamer Notes: This is one of my favorite fanfics I’ve written so far, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. The midsummer part, most importantly the custom Xion mentions, is heavily inspired by actual Swedish midsummer customs. Written for RokuShi Week / RokuShi Day 2021 Other Platforms: -

Midsummer was the biggest holiday in Twilight Town, rivalled only by Christmas. However, the way the citizens celebrated was completely different. Christmas was something celebrated in private with one’s family, but Midsummer was celebrated in public with the entire town, akin to a big festival. There was music and dancing, there were lots of food stalls with some of the best this world had to offer, there were competitions in sack racing and tug-of-war… The blur of laughter, chatter and music was audible even on top of the clocktower.

Roxas smiled as he took another bit off his seasalt ice cream. It was wonderful, but he had needed a break. Celebrating for almost three days in a row was incredibly exhausting.

It was a great end for his first year as a normal person though. Well, not quite, it was still a full week until then. They had agreed to not celebrate, since the anniversary of them finally getting their own bodies was also the anniversary of the Second Keyblade War. So much pain had happened on that day and in the immediate aftermath.

It really was a shame they had missed Twilight Town’s Midsummer celebration last year though. Sora had been too busy preparing for the Keyblade War to stop by, and neither Roxas nor Xion knew about the holiday anyway. He couldn’t believe they had been oblivious to it for so long, considering how much time they had spent there as Nobodies. Even Axel apparently hadn’t been aware it was a thing until recently.

Summer in Twilight Town by itself was wonderful. The sunsets looked even brighter than they usually did because there were less clouds in the sky, and it was warm enough to not wear a jacket and exchange the long pants in favor of shorts. But Midsummer? That was an entire league of its own, and even though it was exhausting, Roxas absolutely loved it, just as much as he loved his home.

He’d always hoped for a normal life, but now that he had one it wasn’t perfect, or even as normal as the one he had dreamed of. There was always something that reminded him on his origins, whether it was his therapy sessions, Terra, Aqua and Ven or Riku asking for their help regarding some Keybearer duties or the simple fact that he had a cable port on his left wrist.

But… That was okay. He was incredibly grateful for this second chance one way or another. Besides, it was not like he could change where he came from anyways. Why waste time and energy on it? He liked his life as it was – actually, he liked it even better than the one he’d dreamed of.

There was only one thing that bothered him recently.

It had started when he had been sick with an upset stomach. Xion had blamed herself because she thought she was absorbing his strength again, going as far as trying to leave Twilight Town in the assumption that he would only become better when she did that. It hurt to see her that way, loathing herself with guilt for something that wasn’t her fault at all.

Luckily, he had been able to stop her from doing that, and she had settled on taking care of him instead. She had even managed to brew tea for him, a thought that made Roxas smile to this day, because if there was anything Xion was truly awful at, it was cooking. Something always went wrong even when she attempted something really simple, not that anyone would fault her for it. She still tried her best.

It had taken her several tries, but the tea she had given him had definitely been one of the best Roxas had ever had in his short life. Maybe because it was from her.

He had probably said and done quite a few stupid things over the course of the afternoon they had spent together, since had been so incredibly tired. Roxas’ cheeks heated up slightly. Xion really meant a lot to him. This feeling was one of the most real things he had ever experienced. He wanted someone to feel about him that way – more specifically, he wanted her to feel that way about him.

He had known her for almost as long as he existed, and he couldn’t really remember a time without her. She had been what caused him to think of himself as an individual for the first time, and they had been through a lot together in general. Axel said things like that deepened the bonds between people, and whether he was right about that or not, one thing was for sure: Xion was Roxas’ best friend in a way that Axel could never be.

Roxas didn’t want to lose what he currently had, and especially not the people he cared for. Naminé, Axel and by some extension Ven were the closest thing to a family he had, even though Ven wasn’t around as much. Roxas couldn’t imagine living without them anymore, just as much as he couldn’t imagine living without the friends he had made over the past year.

Losing Sora had already been tough enough. Roxas had gotten a lot better at handling his emotions, but he was sure that handling another loss would be tough, even if it was Isa. But losing Xion again… The thought of it alone was unbearable and his eyes even got a bit watery when he thought about what he would do without her.

She was special to him, Roxas had known that for a long time. He had never thought much more about it though, not until recently, when he had upset his stomach. What was that feeling he held for her, and her alone?

Could it possibly be… Love?

He had asked Axel about it when that question first crossed his mind, but for once his friend didn’t have an answer. ‘That’s something you’ll have to find out yourself, Roxas,’ was what he had said.

Roxas sighed. Maybe he should talk to Xion about it…

“Hello Roxas!”

Wow. That really was perfect timing… He smiled.

“Hey Xion.” He motioned to the space beside him. “Do you want to take a seat?”

She nodded and sat down next to him.

Maybe this was a good time to address what he had just been thinking about. On one hand, the clocktower felt like a personal place, and they were alone today. On the other hand – even though people rarely came up here, which was one of the reasons why this had been their preferred meeting place back in their Organization days, it was still a public space.

Even though Xion had gotten a lot better at dealing with emotions as well and her color changes provided a good aid at determining her feelings, she was still a lot worse at it than Roxas himself was. She still couldn’t even name what she was feeling most of the time. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by any means, especially because knowing Xion, she wouldn’t be able to tell him that he was making her feel that way. Sure, she’d get green freckles at some point, but by that point, she would already have to feel really uncomfortable – and even then, she could still try and suppress the freckles because she didn’t want to upset him. Roxas didn’t want to take it that far under any circumstances.

Besides… How did one even start something like this? Surely saying something like ‘Hey Xion, can we talk about my feelings for you? I’m kind of confused’ wasn’t the best way to go…

“Say, have you heard about that custom that if you place seven different kinds of flowers under your pillow tonight you’ll dream of the person you’ll marry?”

Roxas nodded. Olette had been going on about it for days. “It sounds just like another midsummer superstition to me though.”

Xion shrugged. “Well, Naminé seems to be absolutely convinced it works.”

“Let’s hope she doesn’t dream of Riku then,” Roxas said with a light chuckle and finished the last bit of his ice cream.

“You still don’t like him him, do you?”

Well, his relationship with Riku was admittedly a difficult one.

On one hand, Riku was Sora’s best friend. They had grown up together, almost like brothers since Sora’s mother had often looked after Riku when they were younger. Roxas did feel somewhat sorry for Riku due to his rather complicated family issues, or what he knew about them, but on the other hand… He still couldn’t forget what Riku had done to him.

Roxas understood how Riku felt about Sora. After all, he felt similar about Naminé. If she were to fall asleep for a year, Roxas knew he would do just about anything in order to help her wake up again too, even if that meant asking Riku to kiss her.

But taking someone else’s existence away? Ruining a life? It had been so unfair, and Roxas couldn’t help but hate Riku for it, despite how kind he was to Naminé (and really all of them) and everything he had learned about him over the past year. Again, Roxas wasn’t very good at forgiving.

He sighed. “Let’s just say it’s complicated.”

Xion nodded, but didn’t say anything. Roxas was grateful for that, he wasn’t really in the mood for talking about his complicated relationship with Riku, or Isa for that matter. Maybe someday, he could find it in his heart to forgive them both – but not today. Especially since there was something else he wanted to discuss with her…

“I still can’t believe that we’ve been living like this for a year now.” There went his chance at doing so. She had already settled on a new subject. If he could just think of something “No one threatening to turn us into Dusks, no daily missions… Just Axel, Isa, Naminé, you and me…”

“Is something bothering you, Xixi?” He couldn’t hold it back anymore. This tone was so off for her.

Xion shrugged. “It’s not a big deal, really,” she said. “But recently, I've been confused by my feelings for you.”

He didn’t see why it should… Wait! “You too?”

“What do you mean by…” She stopped, and her eyes widened a bit. “Roxas… Don’t tell me you’re feeling weird about me too.”

He sighed and nodded. “I do, as a matter of fact.”

Xion bit her lip. “How… How do you feel?”

Roxas shrugged. “It’s… Well. It’s something different than I feel for the others, I think…”

“Does this mean we can’t be friends anymore?”

Oh no. He hadn’t meant to upset her. Hastily, Roxas shook his head. “No, of course it doesn’t!”, he assured her. “I’m just saying that you’re special to me, Xion, that’s all.”

“Special…”, she whispered, lifting her head, but still not looking at him. Instead, her gaze wandered to the sun on the horizon. She obviously needed some time, so he decided to say nothing and turned to watch the eternal sunset as well, in order to give her some privacy.

Twilight Town’s sun wandered across the horizon, it just never really rose, at least not during the day. It did change with the seasons however, in winter it was a bit lower than in summer.

During daytime, the sun would wander across all four points of the compass. When it was in the North, it marked a new date for the citizens of Twilight Town. When it was in the east, the colors of the sky changed to softer pastels, and it was usually when Roxas, Xion and Naminé would get up to go to school. When it was in the South, they would usually have lunch, and on Wednesdays it was when lessons were over. And getting closer to the west, the sky would gradually fade into the bright reds, and eventually purples when it neared the North.

Currently, it was somewhere between South and West, and the sky was colored in warm, glowing pinks and oranges. On this day, they were even brighter than usual. Maybe because midsummer was the day when Twilight Town got closest to an actual sunrise, the day with the greatest amount of light. Starting tomorrow, it would only ever get darker until around Christmas, hence why the day was so special to the citizens.

“You’re special to me too, Roxas.”

Huh? He turned to Xion, surprised by her speaking up all of a sudden. She was smiling at him, and his heart jumped. He was special to her too. He was special to her too!

… But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel that she was… Something still wasn’t quite right. “Xion?”

“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s just… I just wish I could tell you how.”

“Hey.” Xion’s hand was resting on the floor between them, and Roxas placed his on hers. When she didn’t pull away, he squeezed it lightly, in an attempt to reassure her somewhat. “Knowing that is enough for me Xixi.” Sure, he would like to know what this feeling of his was, but simply knowing that he was special to her too made him incredibly happy.

“But it isn’t enough for me.”

That was something else.

Xion sighed. “I want you to know how I feel about you,” she continued while purple freckles appeared on her skin. “But I just… I lack the words to describe it, as usual.”

She sounded so incredibly frustrated that it hurt, especially because he had no idea how to help her with this, or at the very least, cheer her up a little bit. “Maybe there is another way than words,” he tried anyways, even though that probably wasn’t any help either.

Xion drew her hand away and reached into her pocket, but clearly hesitated. Did he say something wrong?

“There might be another way,” she said quietly. It was almost a whisper. “But… You won’t like it.”

This admittedly made him a bit nervous – but he didn’t care. Showing him how she felt about him somehow was clearly important to her. It didn’t matter whether he would like the alternative for words or not, as long as it helped to make her wish come true. Besides, it couldn’t be that bad. “What is it?”

Xion took a breath, then she pulled her hand out of her pocket. She was holding a red cable with two equally shaped plugs on both ends. They were flat and fairly narrow, and the metal part was just a bit shorter than the plug of Roxas’ headphones. He swallowed at the sight of it – he knew this particular cable and what it meant, even without Xion saying it.

“We could try to sync.”

The issue with that was not that he didn’t know whether it was safe or not – Even had actually tried this out together with Xion and Naminé not too long ago. The issue wasn’t even that Roxas had never attempted a sync himself before.

It was just that he was incredibly scared of getting a cable plugged into his wrist. Even thinking about it gave him chills.

Sure, doing it enabled him to do some cool stuff, like not having to pick up his gummiphone every time he wanted to switch songs when listening to music, but being connected to some sort of computer always made him feel like a Nobody again.

Even had once explained that human bodies, which Replica bodies emulated, worked in cycles, or rhythms, out of which the heart was only the most obvious one. They changed frequently in relation to physical activity and environmental factors, but also in response to emotions – and reverse. If the rhythms were influenced by an external factor, like music (probably the reason why music had been a taboo in the Organization), emotions could be influenced as well. Even called it the physio-psychological correlation.

Machines had rhythms too, but contrary to the many harmonious rhythms of a human body, which created a flow, theirs were a completely synchronized pulse.

Whenever some kind of data was transferred between a computer and a Replica body, some kind of synchronization was needed to establish a connection. While his body emulated human rhythms most of the time, it could also sustain itself on a machine rhythm, at least temporarily. But doing so had an effect on his emotions – it made him apathetic, like the machine was actively suppressing his emotions. Like he was back to zombie stage again.

That was why he preferred to avoid using his port as much as possible.

He knew Xion wasn’t a computer, even though she, like him, was technically a human-machine-hybrid. She probably had a flow as well, as opposed to a machine’s pulse, so it wouldn’t feel the same, but still… And what if their bodies jumped into “machine mode” in order to sync?

Roxas sighed. He was about to say “no” – but he couldn’t, because it was Xion who asked this of him. Xion, who wanted him to know how she felt about him so badly. How could he say “no”?

He swallowed. “Okay.”

“Roxas, you know you don’t have to do this for me…”

“I know,” he said. “But I’m going to do it anyways.”

“Roxas…” The look on her face made his heart beat faster. “Thank you.”

Xion was beaming, and for a moment, it was like she was the sun. He even felt a lot warmer than before. Whatever was coming – this alone made it worth it.

“Do you want to go first?”, Xion asked kindly as she handed him one end of the dual cable.

Roxas sighed. He knew she was trying to make it a little easier for him, but nothing would ever change the fact that he hated sticking a cable into his wrist. Nonetheless, he reached for the end of the cable she offered him – but he hesitated taking it. The thought of pushing a cable into his wrist gave Roxas chills, but actually doing it made him feel sick to his stomach. He knew it wasn’t the same but…

His hand trembled. He couldn’t do this.

“I’m sorry, Xion.”

She shook her head. “It’s alright, Roxas. I know you hate this.” She lowered her head. “I think I’m the one who has to apologize to be honest. I shouldn’t have asked this of you…”

She shouldn’t apologize, Roxas thought. It wasn’t her fault after all. He had held out hope that he could do this for her, only to disappoint. If anything, it was his fault. Why couldn’t she just be mad at him for this?

“Don’t apologize, Xion.”

He couldn’t leave it like this. He just couldn’t. This was important to her. But to do it, they had to get that cable into his wrist somehow. And if he couldn’t do it himself…

Roxas stretched out his left arm towards her. His hand was shaking, but he didn’t care. Anything to make this possible – for her. “Can…” He swallowed. The words felt like they got stuck in this throat.

“Can you do it for me, Xixi?”

It came out as a whisper, so quiet that he almost wasn’t able to understand what he was saying himself.

But Xion heard him anyways. She looked at him in surprise. “Roxas… Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Please.”

Roxas was used to other people doing it for him, ever since the first time shortly after the hospital situation. Even had been the one to do it and while he had been rather careful, it had taken Roxas completely by surprise, since no one had bothered to tell him what the weird thing on his wrist was for in the first place.

After that, he had never really been able to shove the cable into his own wrist, unlike the other two. Even Naminé didn’t bat an eye when she did it, although he knew she didn’t like the feeling of being connected to a computer either. So at least he wasn’t alone with that. Sheesh, he would never understand how Xion didn’t mind that aspect of their existence, and even enjoyed it at times!

Roxas flinched when she finally took his hand.

He realized Xion had never done this for him before, which was kind of funny since he usually needed help with it, either because his arm was shaking too much or he outright couldn’t do it by himself like now…

He gasped when he felt her gently rubbing her thumb across his hand.

Roxas had expected a firm grip on his wrist and her just getting over with it, simply and plainly like everyone else did. But Xion…

“You’re tense,” she murmured as she ran her other hand up his arm, brushing his skin with her fingertips.

To his surprise, Roxas found himself relaxing a bit, even as she slipped his wristband up his arm. It hid his port underneath, and Roxas never took it off unless he had to wash it (he had a few spares), and he wore a different, water-resistant one for showering. They all did.

The port itself was pretty unspectacular. If one didn’t look closely, they might even have overlooked it. It was really just a slight bump on his skin, with a hole that faced into the direction of his palm. Still, Roxas didn’t like seeing it – and yet, he couldn’t look away whenever it was not covered…

“Look at me, Roxas.”

… except for when he looked at Xion. He could always look at her, even when she wasn’t looking at him like now.

“What color are my freckles?”

“Uh…” He swallowed. “They’re blue.”

Out of all her colors, blue was the most mysterious one. By now, he had been able to figure out the meaning of each one he had seen on her, except this one. Blue seemed to appear completely by chance.

“Can you tell me which kind of blue?”

That would be more difficult. He was pretty sure Naminé could have instantly named the exact hue, but Roxas wasn’t good or even interested in that stuff too much. So he just tried describing it instead.

“It’s a vibrant one, but not too…” What was the word again?

“Saturated?”, he guessed. “I don’t know, Xion, it’s hard to describe…”

“Can you try it anyways?”, she asked.

Roxas nodded. “It isn’t a bright blue,” he continued. “I think it has a certain… Depth to it?” That sounded incredibly stupid… “It’s actually a really nice color, pleasant to look at…”

“Okay, that’s enough for me.” She looked at him and smiled. “Thank you.”

“No problem, Xi-…” He felt her pulling his wristband down again, gently and carefully, and when he looked at his wrist once more, he could see the cable poking out from underneath. Now he understood what she had been doing – and it had worked. Roxas hadn’t felt a thing.

A grateful smile washed over his face. “Thank you, Xion. For distracting me.”

She shook her head. “Thank you, Roxas. For agreeing to this.”

How could he not? This seemed so important to her…

“Ready?”

Xion had taken the other end of the cable, and looked ready to put it into her port. For a short moment, Roxas was about to panic once more, but he tried to keep it down. For her.

He swallowed and nodded. “Ready.”

“Alright.”

Roxas took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he braced himself for the unknown.

His eyelids twitched.

Being connected to each other felt a lot different than being connected to a machine. Sure, there was this sudden awareness of the many different rhythms his bodies usually worked in and the flow created by this, but he couldn’t feel a steady, rhythmic pulse on the other end. Instead, Xion had her own unique flow, one that felt much calmer than his own, despite how unpredictable it seemed at the very same time.

Roxas would have liked it, if he wasn’t so terribly aware of how his own flow was heavily affected by his nervousness, and how it could theoretically affect her as well. They were connected after all. Even if it didn’t happen by accident, Roxas was well aware that they needed to establish some harmony between their flows for Xion’s idea to work, which meant…

Xion lightly touched his fingertips. “It’s okay if you don’t want to continue,” she whispered. “We can stop.”

Roxas shook his head. “I just don’t want to affect you, Xion.”

“Let me worry about that part,” she said, and Roxas could have sworn she smiled, despite not seeing it because his eyes were still closed. “Just try to relax, okay?”

He trusted her. “Okay.”

With that worry out of the way, he tried to focus on the connection, on her flow over his own. It felt pleasant – and warm, which surprised him a bit, because he hadn’t thought it could feel that way. Even though he knew that this could change at any given time, especially with him on the other end of the connection, it made him feel a bit calmer. He distantly wondered how his own flow felt like to her for a second.

Until both flows just… Dissolved.

One by one, his individual rhythms seemed to dissect themselves from his flow, dissolving it entirely in the process. There was no longer a messy flow, there was a multitude of rhythms now, more or less harmonious with each other, and every single one rather fast compared to Xion’s calmer ones.

This was overwhelming. It was too much.

Roxas pressed his eyelids together more tightly. He wanted to scream… No, he just wanted it to stop. But who knew what would happen if he just cut off the connection now…

In an attempt to distract himself, Roxas started to hum a little tune.

It was nothing he had ever heard before, completely improvised. That way, he had to focus on matching the individual notes rather than simply repeating something he already knew. He did this often when he tried to calm himself down.

To his surprise, Xion joined in after a few notes. Roxas almost stopped humming himself. Xion almost never hummed, let alone even sang. While she did have a wonderful voice in his opinion, she just didn’t like using it very much, and Roxas respected that. She didn’t have to if she didn’t want to.

But now she did, and Roxas loved every single second of it, especially since he got to hum and create a tune alongside her. They stringed it together, note after note, and while Roxas provided the melody and Xion the accompaniment in the beginning, he soon found that he couldn’t quite tell which was which anymore. What had started as an improvised tune soon evolved into a harmonious overture, by no means perfect, but pleasant to listen to.

Suddenly, there was a new flow between them.

Their rhythms weren’t completely synchronized, but harmonious in a way that allowed them to melt into each other, while still being individuals – a bit like the music they created.

By now, he could not just feel her flow on the other end of the connection. He could feel her entire being, like they were becoming one for as long as this connection lasted. Despite that, Roxas still felt like himself, and he knew Xion did as well. He… He even liked being connected to her like this. Even if it meant shoving a cable into his wrist… Actually, he could get used to that, if it meant they could do this more often.

Xion was amazed how that little bit of humming had helped Roxas to calm down and form this connection. She definitely wasn’t going to become an enthusiastic singer, but she didn’t regret using her voice this time, just like Roxas didn’t regret letting himself in for this experiment. They both enjoyed the connection.

He reached for her hand by moving his own forward a bit, so their palms were touching. The touch was like a question, asking whether she was feeling the same.

Xion gently laced their fingers together. His hand was so warm, and the touch prickled a bit on her skin due to excitement.

Xion’s feelings were different from Roxas’, but they felt just as strong. She didn’t have the urge to protect as much as he did, and the metaphorical butterflies in her stomach were something Roxas had never experienced at all. He knew the warmth that came alongside them however, as well as the feeling of being about to overflow.

It was something Xion felt for no one else, a deep-running connection that went far beyond the current harmony of their bodily rhythms. Far deeper than it was reasonable. She didn’t care about that however, all she wanted… Actually, she didn’t want anything right now. Just having Roxas here with her, alive and well, was more than enough for her. He was more than enough for her.

He had his flaws, by all means, just like she did. Neither of them were perfect, and maybe they weren’t even perfect for each other, but neither of them cared. Who they were and what they saw in each other – they didn’t want to change any of that.

Their only wish was to stay with each other like this.

Xion opened her eyes and smiled. “So…” She sounded quiet, almost reverent. “This is… Love?”

Roxas still didn’t know for sure. But was there really a way to know for sure at the end of the day?

He shrugged. “Does it really matter?”, he asked. “All I know is that…” How was he supposed to say this? There wasn’t really a description… It was something just between the two, and nobody else. It was real – a reminder that they were real too. Nothing could ever change that. Roxas gave up. There was no reason to not say it like that.

“I think I love you, Xion.”

In that moment, the butterflies of light in Xion’s stomach were finally released for good. They had waited too long for the right time to fly, and now it was finally there. It was like an explosion of emotion, strong enough to even invoke physical feelings – the complete opposite to the empty void that had been their existence as Nobodies. They went everywhere, brightening up their surroundings as they filled it with all the colors they were made of. Roxas felt like a few of them brushed his skin.

Xion brought her free hand to his cheek. She only touched him lightly with her fingertips, as if she were asking a question, and Roxas answered it by leaning into it. Not too much, but enough to feel her palm too.

“Roxas…” He knew what she was going to say, but nothing could replace the feeling of hearing it from her with his own ears.

“I love you too.”

And with that, the music evolved into a symphony.

A tear dripped on Xion’s fingertip, and Roxas realized that he was crying. And Xion – a few tears ran down her cheeks as well. They were both overflowing now.

Roxas sighed in bliss and leaned his forehead against hers. He didn’t want this moment to end, but since everything eventually did, he wanted to relish in it as much as he could. “Can I kiss you?”

He knew her answer already, thanks to the ongoing connection between them, but hearing it from her just felt so much better.

Xion smiled, and he could swear her blue freckles had gotten more intense. Now he finally knew what they meant. “I was just about to ask the same.”

Love is free, free is love Love is living, living love Love is needing to be loved – John Lennon, Love

#RXWeek2021 #RokuShi Day #Kingdom Hearts #KH Fanfiction #RokuShi #Roxas #Xion #Fandom #Fanwork #Fanfiction #RokuShi Week #RokuShi Week 2021 #RokuShi Day 2021 #Currantlee writing #Currantlee completed #Currantlee completed Story #Currantlee completed KH Fanfic

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currantlee · 3 years

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Language: English Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (T) / P12 Warnings: - Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Series: Another 358 Days (Ao3, Tumblr) Genre: Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, some Angst Characters: Xion, Isa, Axel, Naminé, Roxas Relationships: Roxas/Xion, Xion&Isa (background), Axel/Isa (background), Xion&Naminé (background) Words: 5,416 Chapter: 1/1 Beta: CryptidGrimnoir137 and FanficWriter827 (both links to their Ao3 accounts) Notes: I’m currently taking a social media break (even though I kind of interrupted it for RokuShi Week), so if I’m not as responsive to comments as I usually am, please forgive me. I still highly appreciate every single one of them. Written for RokuShi Week 2021, Day 2: Taking Care of Each Other Other Platforms: -

Xion knew sicknesses weren’t an unusual thing at all. In autumn, a cold had been going around at school, and the teachers had kindly asked everyone who showed symptoms to wear masks to prevent it from spreading further, and stay at home if they had a fever or felt too sick to go to school. She had even gotten a taste of it herself already.

But that happened in late autumn, the time of the year when it was normal to get sick. Now, spring was finally coming to Twilight Town. There were green buds that would soon turn into leaves on the trees, and the birds sang so loud that it was getting hard to sleep from time to time. The days were also getting brighter since the sun was rising, and the higher it climbed in the sky, the warmer they got as well. Xion and her friends could even ditch their coats and pullovers in favor of jackets and long-sleeved shirts on occasion, when the weather was very good.

On this Wednesday, the weather was particularly nice. There were barely any clouds on the sky, and the twilight was more radiant than usual. Xion was surprised that Roxas wasn’t up yet. She knew he loved watching the eternal sunset, and he usually didn’t sleep in.

It was a good thing they only had school until lunchtime today. As much as Xion loved going there and learning new things, the weather was far too nice to be stuck inside all day. Maybe she could finally ask Roxas to teach her how to use a skateboard today.

Xion turned away from the window and poured some yoghurt into the cereal she was making herself for breakfast. She might have been a bad cook, but she could handle pouring yoghurt into a bowl. What could possibly go wrong?

“Isa, have you seen the thermometer?”

She turned around in surprise. “Axel?”

It was not that she hadn’t expected him at all – he had to work during their schooltime, so he was supposed to get up around the same time as them. He was a bit early today though. Axel would usually oversleep – seeing him being up in time was a rarity.

“Xion, watch the yoghurt!”, Isa called. “You’re pouring it all over the place!”

“Oh!” He was right. Barely any yoghurt had made it into her cereal bowl. Most of it was spilled over the kitchen counter all around the bowl, and some of it was dripping down onto the floor. “I’m sorry…”

Isa shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, it’s just yoghurt,” he said in a much friendlier tone. “Just make sure to clean it up, okay?”

Sure. She had caused the mess after all… Xion nodded and went to the sink to get a rag.

“And good morning to you too, Lea!”, Isa huffed. “You know, you should really work on a proper sleeping schedule for yourself! You’re either overly tired or you oversleep in the morning!”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Maybe Isa had a bad day at work, Xion thought. He was always complaining more whenever that was the case, albeit never in a cruel way like he had as Saïx. No, whenever Isa complained about something, it was most likely because he was worried, and Xion got the feeling that he was worried about Axel even more than he was worried about them.

“As for the thermometer, it should be in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom,” Isa went on. “Why?”

“Roxas isn’t feeling too well today,” Axel replied. “He’s been keeping me up half the night, I just wanna make sure he doesn’t have a fever too.”

Xion almost dropped her spoon. That sounded serious – was Roxas sick?

“Oh, I see,” Isa nodded. “Shall I call the school and tell them that he is staying at home today?”

“That would be great,” Axel nodded. “Can you call Even too? I don’t want to have to rush calling off work in case he wants me to take Roxas over to Radiant Garden.”

So he was definitely ill… Otherwise they wouldn’t talk about calling Even.

Xion recalled her own sickness involving fever in autumn fairly well. As normal as it was to fall ill from time to time, at least according to Axel and Isa, for Xion it was definitely the worst part about being normal. While staying in bed was somewhat bearable for her, causing her friends such worry wasn’t.

It didn’t help that she had been the first out of all three people inhabiting Replica bodies to fall sick. Axel had called off his work that day in order to take her to Radiant Garden so Even could observe her and make sure there were no complications. Xion usually didn’t mind being hooked up to a computer – not as much as she knew Roxas did anyways – but she had minded being taken to Radiant Garden. Even though she had been asleep for most of the trip, it had been terribly exhausting, and done nothing to speed her recovery up.

She had ended up spending an entire week there. Roxas had called every evening, and Naminé had joined her after a few days due to having caught the very same sickness.

But Roxas… He had never been sick before, at least not this bad. Sure, he had caught one or two colds in winter, but never something that had kept him from going to school. If it was this bad, he wouldn’t be able to go to school. Not that they immediately sent anyone who wasn’t feeling too well home, but a fever was a definite reason to stay at home.

The only time she could remember when Roxas had been off worse… A cold shiver ran down Xion’s back. She bit her lip.

“Are you alright, Xion?” Isa looked genuinely worried. Were her thoughts this obvious?

… Right, her emotionally influenced color changes. She forgot those existed most of the time since the issue wasn’t as pressing as it had been when it first happened anymore. It wasn’t like she was trying to take full control of it after all, it was just a part of who she was. Right now, her freckles or eyes must be lilac.

She sighed in partial defeat. “I’m just worried about Roxas.”

That wasn’t the whole truth. The last time Roxas had been in a truly bad physical state… That had been back in the Organization, when Xion had unintentionally siphoned his strength.

Getting sick was normal, yes, but what if Roxas wasn’t simply sick? What if history was repeating itself?

Xion lowered her head. She didn’t want to leave Roxas – actually, she didn’t want to leave the whole family they had found here in Twilight Town. It might not be a conventional one, actually they were a weird bunch of social outcasts some probably just shook their heads upon seeing, but Xion didn’t care what others thought. Even if it was merely because she didn’t know what actual families were like – to her, this weird bunch of social outcasts was family, no matter what.

But most of all, she didn’t want to leave Roxas. He meant so much to her.

Which was precisely why she would leave regardless, if it meant he would feel better. Sure, he might not be happy about it, and get that sad expression on his face once he heard about it. But he had Axel and Naminé to help him get over it. Oh, and Isa too of course – if Roxas let him that was. While their relationship had somewhat improved steadily, she doubted that he would let Isa help him with anything.

“Why don’t you go and see how bad it is for yourself then?”, Isa asked. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing you.”

‘Because that might make it worse.’

“I still have to clean this up, don’t I?”, Xion lied instead, motioning to the yoghurt on the counter. She was glad that no colorful tell-tale freckles appeared on her skin and her eyes and hair retained their usual color this time. “Besides, I have to prepare for school. Naminé and I still have to go even when Roxas is sick, right?”

“Well, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t,” Isa responded. He looked skeptical though. Did he notice something? “Are you sure you’re alright, Xion? You seem a bit off.”

She shrugged. “I’m just worried, Isa, that’s all. You’d be worried about Axel too if he was sick, right?”

“You do have a point there,” Isa chuckled. “Although I guess I’d also be a bit stressed out. Lea can be incredibly exhausting when he is sick. Make him a cup of tea and he will almost certainly complain about it being too hot or too cold…”

She could hardly imagine that – it seemed so off that it almost made her giggle.

“Well, I guess I have to make some phonecalls,” Isa said. “You get ready for school, alright?”

Xion sighed as soon as he left the room. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate Isa worrying about her, but she still would rather have talked to someone else about her issues. Isa was a good person, and more often than not Xion was glad that he was around, but she still couldn’t bring herself to trust him completely, and she doubted that she ever would.

She went back to the sink and rinsed the rag.

When it came to this, she couldn’t talk to anyone though. Axel would try to stop her from doing the only thing that would solve the problem – leaving as soon as possible, so she didn’t worsen Roxas’ condition any further. Roxas himself was out of the question for obvious reasons. And Naminé was a great friend and a good listener, who probably wouldn’t try to stop her and keep her plans a secret as well, but Xion didn’t want to upset her too.

Besides, all of them were busy. It would be a good opportunity to slip away without anyone noticing… Then again, she needed to pack some things first, something that would probably not go unnoticed.

They only had school until the sun was in the South today. Sure, they technically had extracurricular activities in the afternoon, like Naminé’s Brightening School Up!-project which aimed to make the school more aesthetically pleasing, but those were completely voluntarily. She could always skip her own Rock Climbing Club.

On top of that the school was a good half-hour-walk away from the apartment. Maybe that was enough to at least slow the process down for now. That way, she could pack her things after school, when both Axel and Naminé were out of house and Isa was asleep. Roxas was in no condition to stop her anyways.

With that plan in mind, Xion walked out of the kitchen and grabbed her rucksack from the dining table in the living room. She needed to leave as soon as possible…

“Good morning, Xion!”

Apparently Naminé was done in the bathroom earlier than usual.

Xion forced a smile on her face and tried to not show her true colors. “Hi Nami!” Hopefully she didn’t notice anything. “Wonderful day outside, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Naminé nodded, giggling a little. “I’m honestly surprised Roxas isn’t up yet.”

So she didn’t know yet… Good, that made things a bit easier for her.

“Did I take too long doing my make up again?”, Naminé asked. “Or are you leaving early?”

Right… She was already holding her rucksack. Xion shook her head. “Don’t worry, you still have some time to eat breakfast and take the tram,” she said. “I just figured I would walk to school today. Make the most of the weather, you know?”

“That’s a good idea!”, Naminé agreed. “I really should have gotten up earlier. Then we could have walked to school together.” She smiled. “Enjoy your walk. See you later?”

“See you later,” Xion nodded.

She felt terrible lying to Naminé like that – she didn’t plan on seeing her later. It was inevitable that Naminé eventually learned about Roxas’ condition, at the latest when he wasn’t in class with her. Therefore Xion had no doubt that the topic would be brought up if they talked, and she wanted to avoid that at any cost. She didn’t know how long she could keep this façade up.

Before she knew it, she had slipped into her favorite pair of shoes and left the house. Of course she took the tram instead of walking like she had told Naminé – the faster she got away the better. She would definitely be at school way too early, but that was fine. Anything was better than hurting Roxas even more.

---

Xion had always been good at avoiding her friends and even hiding from them when she needed too. She had managed that back in the Organization days several times, and she had no problem pulling it off at school, even though there were way more people looking out for her.

And during the breaks, Xion simply stayed at one of the toilets. Fortunately no one asked her about that. And during the lessons, it wasn’t that hard anyways – Naminé, Hayner and Olette were a year above her, and Pence and her both preferred to pay attention in class, so they were too busy to talk.

Well, at least Xion would have preferred to actually listen. On this day, this proved to be impossible however. No matter how often she tried to keep herself together and distract herself by listening to the teacher and taking notes, her mind always wandered off to Roxas. She hoped hadn’t gotten any worse… She should have just left in the morning. Why had she not just left in the morning?

School seemed to last forever on that day, and once the last lesson finally ended, Xion was one of the first students to storm out, not even saying goodbye to anyone like she usually would. She needed to get on the first tram that stopped nearby her house. Maybe she could have asked the teacher to let her leave five minutes earlier than usual so she could have caught an earlier one… Why hadn’t she done that?

The ride home lasted ten minutes, but to Xion it felt so much longer than usual. She was almost sure the tram was late, but several quick glances at her watch revealed that it was perfectly on time. Couldn’t the tram drive just a little bit faster?

Once she finally arrived home, she immediately headed to her room and grabbed the travelling bag Axel and Isa had gotten for her when they had had a sleepover to celebrate Ven’s seventeenth birthday – at least they thought he was turning seventeen since no one really knew his actual age.

Terra, Aqua and him were currently looking for his biological parents on top of searching for Sora in the Realm of Darkness. There was a good chance that Xehanort had simply taken him from them, considering everything else that man had done – Xion’s heart always ached at the thought of a young child being cruelly ripped away from their family. As far as she was aware however, they hadn’t found any leads regarding Ven’s origins yet.

Maybe she could help them. That way, she would at least be with some other friends of hers – even though she knew every look at Ven would hurt, considering just how alike Roxas and him looked.

Xion sighed when she opened her closet. That at least cleared up the question of where to go. Now for the preparations…

She took the neatly folded clothes out in a hurry and stuffed them into the bag without any further regards. Usually, she treated her clothes with a lot more care, but right now she just needed to get as many as she could into the bag, and quickly at that. She didn’t even pay attention at what exactly she was stuffing into the bag – matching clothing was a luxury anyways. All that mattered for now was that it was functional and would last her a few days or weeks. She could care about looking good later, when Roxas was safe.

Once she was done, she left her room and went down the hallway. She tried to be quiet. Roxas needed to rest and she didn’t want to disturb him. Isa was probably sleeping too.

And yet…

Xion hesitated when she was about to pass the door of Roxas’ room. Maybe she should at least take a short look? She hadn’t even gotten to see him in the morning, which meant that yesterday evening would have been the last time she got to see him…

She stopped.

She hadn’t really been paying attention to him then, too caught up in worrying about an upcoming exam. But she wanted to remember his face, with all the details. Would it be too much to at least say goodbye?

… She needed to see him – at least one last time. No matter how selfish that was of her.

With a sigh, Xion opened the door to his room. If she didn’t do this now, she would eventually regret it.

Much to her relief, Roxas seemed to be asleep. That way, he wouldn’t notice that she was about to leave – he would have tried to stop her once he realized that. Xion might have been a fairly good liar and actor, but Roxas could usually see through her with ease. Besides, she hated lying to him in general.

A cable was peeking out from under the wristband he always wore on his left to cover his port up. It connected him to his gummiphone. Xion recalled that after Naminé and her had gotten sick in autumn, Ienzo had programmed an app for their phones to monitor their vital functions when it was necessary, so they didn’t have to go to Radiant Garden every time something was up. All they needed for that was a cable with the appropriate plugs.

Despite this, he looked peaceful.

Roxas often had a rather fitful sleep, he tossed and turned fairly often even when he didn’t have a nightmare. Seeing him resting on his back with the blanket tidily pulled up to his chest was a rare sight.

His hair was a mess. To be fair, Roxas’ hair was always a bit chaotic, but Xion was pretty sure it hadn’t seen a comb yet on this day. The only thing that kept it somewhat in place were his headphones, which he was still wearing. They had a chocolate brown color with some warm grey accents, exactly the colors that suited him, and had two triangles reminiscent of cat ears on top. Xion really liked those on him, she found that he looked cute while wearing them. He must have fallen asleep while listening to some music.

Xion smiled – then, she remembered why she had come.

With a sigh, she sat the traveling bag she had already packed down, trying to be quiet in order to not wake him up.

Walking up to his bedside, she noticed were the bucket next to Roxas’ bed, and the tilted window. Strange – when she had been sick, Isa had told her that leaving the window open while she was in the room wasn’t a good idea. According to him, the drafting could make her cold worse. So why was Roxas’ window tilted then? Maybe because it was warmer outside?

It didn’t matter. She had to leave one way or another, and wondering about tilted windows wasn’t why she was taking this risk.

Xion knelt down at Roxas’ bedside to get a better look at him. She tried to burn the way he looked into her memory, trying to catch as many details as she could.

To her surprise, Roxas wasn’t pale, which she had expected him to be. The contrary, there was a slight, healthy-looking flush on his cheeks. Almost like he wasn’t sick at all. But Xion knew that appearances could lie.

Ven freckled quite quickly when he went outside – ever since the Keybladewar, Xion had never seen him without at least traces of freckles on his face, even after he had spent a considerable amount of time in the Realm of Darkness.

Since Roxas had inherited Ven’s genetic disposition, he was also very prone to freckling in the sun, even though he didn’t have as many as his twin did. The sun in Twilight Town just wasn’t strong enough to give him any. Xion liked how they looked on Roxas when he did have some though. They happened to visit the Land of Departure some weeks ago, and despite Roxas’ religious use of sunscreen, he had gotten quite a few over the course of a single weekend. They were already fading once more, but still clearly visible.

The freckles were on his cheeks, but mainly on his nose. Xion always found Roxas’ nose difficult to describe. It appeared noticeably wider at the bottom than it did at the base, and the tip was a bit chubby, which gave it seem a bit of an upturned look.

His cheekbones had gained slightly more definition over the past months. Xion found it funny how much that changed his face. It made him look… Older, somehow? She was pretty sure there was a better, more flattering word for what she was trying to describe, but she couldn’t think of it.

She wanted to keep looking at him, to wait until he eventually woke up and say goodbye properly, but she knew she couldn’t. Every second she stayed was another second in which she siphoned his strength, one second more in which his state gradually worsened due to her presence. On top of that, she knew Roxas was definitely going to try and stop her from leaving if he was conscious. Time was short – and yet, she couldn’t turn around and leave. She was so selfish…

Maybe she could at least give him something special as a parting gift? That way she didn’t have to feel guilty. She could just leave quietly, without waking him up.

Then again, what would that special something be? She didn’t have the time to get him something, and besides, what would he even like? Despite knowing him all her life, Xion found that question quite difficult to answer.

So she couldn’t even do that.

Xion sighed. “Sorry Roxas,” she whispered and a tear rolled down her cheek. Why was saying goodbye so hard?

In a desperate attempt to give him at least something, Xion leaned forward. This was a gesture she had observed in a movie, and judging by the fact that she had only seen it in a single one so far, she was pretty sure that this was something special. He wouldn’t feel or remember it, but it was the least she could do.

Very gently, Xion pressed her lips onto his forehead. He was less warm than she had imagined – was that good or ba-…

“Xixi?!?”

She shrieked and stumbled back, falling over her bag as she did so.

Roxas had lifted his head and looked at her with wide eyes, obviously startled.

Xion’s heart was racing. She had not expected this – why was he awake? Did she do something wrong by touching his forehead like this?

She lowered her head. “Sorry…”

He pulled his headphones off. “Huh?”

Xion only realized now that he must have been listening to music up until now, which was probably why he hadn’t heard her coming. She must have startled him quite a bit. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “For giving you a scare like that.”

Roxas shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t scare me.”

He leaned over to his nightstand and grabbed his gummiphone. A confused look spread across his face when he checked the screen. “Don’t you have Rock Climbing Club?”

She shrugged. “Thought I’d skip it today. Since you’re sick and all.” That was technically true… Even though she didn’t tell him everything. It felt so wrong, she usually told Roxas everything. They were best friends after all.

“That’s sweet of you,” Roxas smiled, but he looked a bit tired doing so.

“How are you?”, Xion blurted out before she could stop herself.

“It’s not that bad…” He yawned. “I’m just a bit tired. Didn’t really get much sleep last night…”

Great. Now she kept him from sleeping on top of making him sick…

Xion sighed and picked up her traveling bag. “I’ll better be going then,” she announced quietly and turned around. She couldn’t bear looking at him any longer. Funny, since that was why she had entered his room in the first place. Well, at least she got to say goodbye…

“Farewell, Roxas.”

It came out quietly and her voice was shaking, almost like a quiet sob. A tear ran down her cheek, and Xion felt that it was probably just the first of many more to come. She didn’t want to leave him behind – but it was for the best. She didn’t want him to be sick either.

“Xion?

If she didn’t leave now, she would never. Either because she couldn’t or because Roxas would stop her.

“What’s with the traveling bag?” He sounded confused.

Another tear ran down her cheek. “Roxas, I…” How was she going to tell him this? It was going to upset him, she was sure of that… And he was already in a fragile state. She didn’t want to make him feel any worse than he already was. But he deserved an explanation. “I can’t stay.”

“Oh.”

That was not the reaction she had been expecting…

“That’s fine.”

Definitely not the reaction that she had been expecting. Xion felt a sting in her heart – was she not important to him anymore? It was unlikely, but maybe it would be better if that was actually the case, considering they could never see each other again…

“I should probably try to get some sleep anyways.” Roxas yawned audibly. “See you later?”

For a moment, Xion was tempted to respond in the same way she had responded to Naminé earlier, but she just couldn’t do that. Lying to Naminé like that was hard, but lying to Roxas… It was impossible. He was her best friend, and he deserved to know the truth.

“I mean forever.”

And that was it. Now she was crying. She just hoped Roxas wouldn’t notice; she didn’t want to make it any harder for him. Xion noticed a sob wanting to escape her throat, but she tried to suppress it, even though her throat started to hurt terribly from it.

“Xion?”

She sniffed. “It’s for the best,” she told him quietly, and her voice sounded a lot higher than usual. “This is all my fault. If I stay, you’ll just get worse…”

“Xion, what are you talking about?”

She couldn’t answer. The throbbing in her throat hurt too much, and she wanted nothing more than to just run away. Storm through this damn door and leave, so he would get better – even if that meant she could never see him again… But she couldn’t. Her muscles were all tense, and yet she couldn’t even move, not even when she heard him throwing back his blanket to get up and walk up to her.

His warm hand briefly brushed against her arm. “Please,” Roxas asked. He sounded almost desperate. “Talk to me.”

Xion couldn’t hold it back any longer. The sob she had been holding back for so long erupted from her throat, and it didn’t even relieve the pain. The traveling bag slipped from her hand, because she was trembling so hard. She cursed herself for being so weak.

Roxas pulled her into a hug, slowly and very carefully. Xion wasn’t sure whether it was because he wanted to leave her room to decline or him getting weaker. In any way, she lacked the strength to free herself, even though Roxas hugged her much more loosely than he usually did.

… He felt so warm against her back. Warm, but not overly so. Did he even have a fever?

Part of Xion wanted to turn around and melt into the hug he was offering her, but she knew she couldn’t. “I’m making you sick, Roxas.”

More tears were running down her cheeks, and if it hadn’t been for Roxas’ careful hug, Xion was pretty sure that her legs would have given out. How did he even manage to hold her up in his state?

“Xion, how did you get that idea?”

“B-Because…” She sobbed. “Because that’s what happened last time…”

And why should it be any different this time? While they were different people with different origins, they both were different versions of the same person, or at least they were supposed to be.

Last time, Roxas was Sora’s Nobody, his shadow, the empty husk that stayed behind when his Other had lost his heart. He hadn’t been supposed to feel, or develop an identity of his own eventually, and yet he had become his own person within less than a year. And Xion was a Replica, an artificial humanoid, programmed to copy Sora’s abilities and absorb his memories. She had been supposed to become Sora eventually, but instead she had become something else entirely.

“But things aren’t like last time.”

This time, they were both Replicas, or at least inhabiting Replica bodies – something right in between biology and technology. Not quite human, but not machine either. Xion remembered how surprised she had been finding out that they could even get sick.

But most of all, they were their own people.

On top of all of this, there were too many things that didn’t make sense. Roxas didn’t seem weak, just tired and exhausted, which made sense given that he hadn’t been able to sleep half the night. Xion briefly wondered what she had been worried about in the first place.

“My stomach just didn’t tolerate dinner so well I guess.”

They had had curry, Axel and Isa had cooked together last night. Due to Isa’s constant nagging about how important healthy food was, they had decided to do something different and use lentils. It had been tasty, but considering they had never tried those before… Thinking about it, Xion’s own stomach had been rumbling quite a bit at night.

She finally turned around to face him. Her vision was a bit blurry from all the tears, but she was able to make out his face. He really wasn’t pale. His eyes weren’t glassy either. Nothing about his appearance was screaming ‘sick’.

Then again… “Axel said you weren’t well this morning.” So it had to be more than stomach rumbles.

Roxas sighed. “I threw up half the night,” he explained. “That’s why I couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh.”

Xion herself had never thrown up herself so far, but she had witnessed Olette doing so in the school’s toilet. She had looked uncomfortable during it, and Xion remembered how unpleasantly it had smelled. Olette had then spent some time at the school’s infirmary, before one of her parents had picked her up and brought her home.

Xion finally returned the hug. “Are you at least feeling a bit better now?”

“Yeah,” Roxas said. He tightened their hug a little. “Still a bit nauseous, but overall, I’m feeling a lot better.”

But what if that was only because she had been in school, away from him?

Xion quickly brushed that thought aside. Even if that was the case, there were plenty of things they could do about it. There was no Replica problem Even and the other scientists hadn’t been able to solve before, so why should this be any different?

It felt like a huge stone fell off her heart – why had she even been worried in the first place?

It was only when they dissolved their hug that she noticed how tired he looked. Xion wasn’t sure whether his eyes were actually smaller than usual or if the dark circles underneath just made them appear that way.

“You should rest some more,” she said. “You look really tired, Roxas.”

Roxas nodded. “I probably should.”

They walked over to Roxas’ bed, and Xion covered him with the sheets. Roxas smiled a bit at that.

“Anything else I can do for you?” If she was already here, she could help him get better.

“Stay with me please?”

Xion smiled. “Of course.” There was nothing she’d rather do.

#Fanfiction #Fanwork #Kingdom Hearts #RokuShi #RXWeek2021 #RokuShi Week 2021 #KH Fanfiction #Roxas #Xion #Axel #Isa #Naminé #Long Post #Currantlee writing #Currantlee completed #Currantlee completed Story #Currantlee completed KH Fanfic

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Language: English Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (T) / P16 Warnings: Heavy topics Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort Characters: Sora, Roxas, Xion (mentioned) Relationships: Sora & Roxas Words: 4,312 Chapter: 1/2 Chapter Summary: The best part about birthday parties is that everyone gets to share the happiness. So when Roxas isn’t feeling well, Sora takes it upon himself to check up on him Beta: @theeeveetamer Notes: Written for the 19th Anniversary of the Kingdom Hearts series. I’ll admit I haven’t really done the “happy” part justice though. Other Platforms: -

Sora had expected all the usual things returning home. The sun burning on his skin, the sound and smell of the sea, his mother demanding an explanation, not actually feeling at home on Destiny Islands anymore, being told to rest some more…

If he was completely honest though, Sora didn’t actually know what he had been expecting. He hadn’t really thought about it… The most important thing was that he was back home safely.

The one thing he definitely hadn’t been expecting though was a party.

So this was why Kairi had curled her hair… He turned to her in confusion, but seeing her smile so brightly in what surely was expectation of his joy made him turn to Riku instead. He didn’t want to disappoint her.

He scratched his head in a bit of embarrassment. “Uhm… You really didn’t have to organize a welcome-back-party for me…” It wasn’t like he deserved one anyways. Not after all the worries he had caused them, and after everything he had done in the past year.

His best friend chuckled lightly in response. “Do you even know what day today is?”

“The day after… Uhm… Yesterday?”, Sora offered, glancing at Kairi in a search for help. Gosh, out of all the things he could have said, it had to be the dumbest… He was absolutely clueless about what there, so he just stayed silent when Kairi shook her head.

Luckily, Riku took over before his silence could become even more awkward. “It’s the twenty-eighth of March.”

Oh… Oh! That meant…

“Happy birthday!”, everyone shouted in unison.

---

It was supposed to be a joyful day for everyone involved. The thing Sora loved most about birthday parties was that everyone involved got to share the happiness. As such, he always tried to make sure that everyone felt comfortable at his own birthday parties, regardless of whether it was a surprise party or an expected one.

So when Xion told him that Roxas wasn’t feeling that well, Sora insisted on checking up on him, even though she mentioned that he wanted to be alone. He made sure to grab some ice cream before he went to look for Roxas.

It didn’t take Sora very long to find him. He wasn’t really hiding somewhere, but even if he had been Sora knew all of the best spots from hours of playing hide and seek on the Play Island with Riku and Kairi back when they were kids.

Sora found him was sitting under the paopu fruit tree, back leaning against its trunk, legs drawn close to his chest and chin resting on his knees. He was staring at some undefined, distant point, apparently lost in thought.

Sora knew that if he just walked up to Roxas and sat down, it would probably startle him. Therefore he approached him more slowly. He also tried to be more quiet than he usually would be, while also not avoiding noise completely.

Only when Roxas turned to him, looking a bit surprised, he finally addressed him.

“Hey Roxas, you alright?”

Roxas sighed in response. “Shouldn’t you be with your friends?”

Sora sighed as he slowly walked up to him. He wasn’t sure if Roxas was comfortable with being so close, so he wanted to make sure to not pressure him. But to his surprise, Roxas lightly patted the space besides him and nodded. Sora took the invitation and sat down.

“Xion said you’re not feeling well,” he explained. “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”

Roxas didn’t give him an answer to that – he just let out a sigh and turned away again.

But Sora wasn’t about to give up that easily. He carefully placed a hand on Roxas’ shoulder – feeling the texture of his jacket and not feeling it at the same time, like through a glove, was a sensation he’d probably never get used to. “Can I do anything to make you feel a bit better?”

Roxas shook his head in response. “No.”

Sora wasn’t sure whether Roxas’ honesty was an expression of trust or just how he was as a person – but either way, it impressed him. He didn’t even know Roxas that well, since they never really had a chance to get to know each other properly…

“Please, don’t worry about me,” Roxas added quickly. “This is your party, I don’t want to be the one ruining it for you.”

Sora knew that feeling, perhaps way too well. He hated to burden his friends with his worries too, even though he knew that, to some extent, that’s what friends were for. “Is that why you didn’t say anything to Xion? Because you also don’t want to ruin the party for her?”

Roxas sighed. “Yes,” he openly admitted.

“You know, I think she’d be less concerned if you talked to her…”

“I don’t need a lecture from you,” Roxas cut him off a bit roughly. “I can handle myself just fine…”

Sora backed off a bit at that. “Sorry. I just thought I’d go and see if you need anything, really.”

Roxas’ expression actually softened a bit at that. “There is nothing you can do right now, I think. Just leave me alone, I’ll be fine.”

He actually smiled when he said that, but it wasn’t a happy smile. There was melancholy in it, and he actually looked a little bit lonely.

Sora didn’t know if he should really leave him alone like this… On the other hand, it was like Xion said: no one could – or should – force him to talk about whatever was upsetting him.

So he just asked: “You sure?”

Roxas nodded. “It’s okay,” he said. “I like being alone, sometimes.”

“Alright,” Sora said and got up again. “But please tell me if you need somethi-…”

The ice cream package he had grabbed from one of the enchanted buckets containing the food earlier tumbled to the ground. Sora had almost forgotten about it. He had thought that maybe this might do some good for Roxas’ mood as well. Hopefully it hadn’t melted yet…

Roxas face lit up when he saw the packaging. “You… You brought me some ice cream?”

Sora bashfully scratched the back of his head and nodded. “Yeah, I thought it would cheer you up a little! Sorry, I kinda forgot that I still had it…” How could he actually be this dumb?

But Roxas didn’t seem to mind. He just chuckled. “Thank you.”

… He was smiling. Actually, genuinely smiling this time. No underlying melancholy, no looking lonely. Huh. Maybe that little mishap had managed to cheer him up a little bit after all. Perhaps it was a good thing that Sora could be a bit forgetful sometimes.

“No problem,” Sora grinned. “Just tell me if you need anything else, okay?”

Roxas nodded in response, while already ripping the packaging off the popsicle. It was a bit melted already, but that was to be expected.

It was good to see that Roxas was a bit better now. Hopefully, he’d soon join the others again. Sora smiled as he turned to do exactly that.

“This whole birthday thing…”, Roxas suddenly said. “It just reminds me…”

“Huh?” Sora turned around in surprise. Could Roxas possibly have changed his mind? If so, then he was of course going to listen, but he had seemed very adamant about it before. Maybe he was just thinking aloud or talking to himself?

“You were born seventeen years ago,” Roxas mused quietly. “But I was… Created… Almost three years ago.”

Oh. So that was what this was all about…

Admittedly, Sora had never thought about it like that. To him, Roxas had been his own person ever since he’d first learned of his existence. And even though most other people shared this view by now, that didn’t change the fact that initially everyone had only regarded Roxas as a different version of Sora, or even a part of him. He hadn’t even been treated like the independent personality he was, but like a replacement for someone else, or even worse, like a tool.

In addition to this, he didn’t enter this realm like… Well, like most other people. Seeing as Roxas’ biological age matched Ven’s from the moment he first came into existence, he had never had a real childhood. From what Sora had heard about Roxas, he had lacked a lot of abilities at first, and was still lacking a lot of the knowledge the others naturally had.

That also meant…

Sora thought about his own childhood memories for a second. Racing with Riku on the beach, painting the walls of the Secret Place with Kairi, making plans for the raft that ended up starting their entire adventure… He had seen so many worlds, experienced so many things, met so many people, made so many memories – and yet, his childhood memories were his most precious ones.

His heart ached when he realized that Roxas didn’t have any of that. Aside from maybe some of Sora’s own memories that he knew weren’t his own… Sora didn’t really know about that part.

He went back and knelt down next to him. “I’m sorry, Roxas.”

Roxas shook his head. “It’s not because of you,” he said. “It’s just that except for Xion and Naminé, all of the others…” He let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not… It just feels like all of this isn’t real, Sora.”

Sora watched as one of Roxas’ hands curled into a fist.

“I don’t want to feel that way. After all, that’s exactly what they wanted me to feel like… I don’t want to give them that satisfaction, even though most of them are gone now.” He laughed bitterly. “Funny, huh? Even now, that I’m not bound anymore, I still can’t be free. Why does this have to haunt me all the damn time… Why can’t I just shut it down…”

Sora carefully placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. Roxas was panting now, perhaps a result of getting emotionally worked up and trying not to shout.

“The heart isn’t always logical,” Sora tried to explain. “Contradicting yourself sometimes is part of having one, especially when it comes to feelings.”

“Is that why it is so difficult to understand sometimes?”

“Probably,” Sora replied. “But you don’t always have to understand it, you know?” After all, why should anyone try to understand something that was impossible to grasp? It was only a waste of energy, energy that was better spent elsewhere.

Roxas shook his head. “Maybe that works for you,” he said. “But you’ve always had a heart. I haven’t.”

“You had Ven’s heart,” Sora argued.

“That’s not the same.” Roxas retorted. “The emotions I felt? At least in the beginning, they were still his. I don’t know when I started having my own, but… That doesn’t change the fact that it weren’t mine.” A heavy sigh escaped him. “Who knows. Maybe they still aren’t mine…”

“Why shouldn’t they be?”

“Because my entire life, everything about me, is a lie,” Roxas hissed. “My surname? Something Naminé and I made up. Childhood memories? I have none of my own! Every time someone asks I have to tell them a story, and I’m not even sure it happened like I’m telling it! My birthday? I was never born in the first place!”

Sora didn’t know how to respond. He tried to understand, but he probably couldn’t. After all, he had everything Roxas mentioned – or in other words: everything Roxas didn’t have.

Regardless of that, Soras heart ached. Roxas deserved so much better than having all of this come back to haunt him again and again. Distantly, he wondered if that would ever stop, if his former Nobody could ever truly feel like somebody. He really hoped he could. Roxas deserved as much.

“The diary I kept during my Organization days and my passport say that I’m… Born,” Roxas pronounced that word with a good portion of spite in his tone, “on the second of September, but…” He didn’t finish whatever he had been about to say. Instead, he averted his gaze back to the horizon and took a bite from the ice cream.

Sora flinched when he did that. He never understood how people were able to do that – it hurt him to just look at someone doing it.

“Is it… Is it because you feel like that date is just made up too?”

“Like everything else about myself,” Roxas nodded. “At least when it comes to maintaining world order.”

Oh yeah, world order… Sora truly hated that concept from time to time. He often found it hard to not constantly rave about all the amazing things he had seen on his travels to everyone he met on his travels – after all, it was just far to exciting to not share with someone.

But Sora understood why it existed.

Truth be told, Sora had always had a hard time not talking about exciting things. Whenever he had seen a fantastical new movie as a kid, or read a new comic that amazed him, he would always talk nineteen to the dozen about it to either his friends on the islands or his parents. They all had a hard time following him.

Sora had fortunately realized this soon enough, and since he didn’t like to be a burden to his friends and family like that, he had learned to explain things in a manner that was more comprehensive to someone who didn’t know what he was talking about. That sometimes included leaving certain details out or explaining things in a much different manner than they actually happened in the movie. He had found that those tactics came in handy when trying to keep world order as well.

“You know,” Sora said, “it’s always a balancing act to keep world order. We all leave out details or change parts of our story whenever we tell someone who doesn’t know about the Keyblades or other worlds. Sometimes, we even have to make up stuff as well.”

After all, if they did tell the truth, they would probably get labelled crazy or dangerous in most worlds. Even if that didn’t happen, it had the potential to cause much more trouble.

And thinking about it some more…

“Honestly, everyone does it from time to time, even completely normal people who don’t wield Keyblades. Even though they do it for different reasons,” Sora continued. “You’re not so different from everyone else in that regard, Roxas.”

“Fair point,” Roxas murmured. “Still… Normal people are born. And they usually know when.”

“Well, it’s not like you don’t know the day you first came into existence,” Sora pointed out.

“That’s not the same!”

“You’re right. It isn’t exactly the same,” Sora replied. “But it’s the closest thing to a birth date you have. Besides, you know the exact date. So that is definitely real.” Just as real as Roxas himself was, and just as real as his emotions were – and Sora was pretty sure those were just as real as his own.

“If I was a normal person, I wouldn’t even need to pick the closest thing to a real birthday though,” Roxas argued.

Sora shook his head. “You know who is a ‘normal’,” he made air quotes as he phrased that, “person and still doesn’t know on which day she was born?”

“Now you’re making things up…”

“I swear I’m not!”

Roxas didn’t respond to that. Instead, he just looked at Sora, still somewhat sceptically, but also with a bit of curiosity in his expression.

“Kairi.”

She had only been a child when she had fallen from the sky all those years ago. Her memories of her home world were foggy, now and back then. All she had remembered was her name, that she was from another world, and that she had never even heard of the Destiny Islands before.

“We’ve always celebrated it on the twelfth of August,” Sora elaborated further. “That’s the day when she appeared here. Besides, I’m pretty sure Ven doesn’t know his actual birthday either.”

Roxas furrowed his eyebrows. Was he thinking about it?

“Maybe you should talk to one of them, if that makes you feel more comfortable,” Sora suggested.

But Roxas shook his head. “They won’t understand it either,” he argued. “Honestly, I think none of you can really understand…”

“Maybe they don’t have to understand everything to help you.”

“Still.” Roxas let out a heavy sigh. “They… All of you at least have something to build your identities on! Me? Xion? Naminé? We have to look for it, but the more I find, the more I question if all of this is even real, if all of this is even truly mine! Even my body was made in a…”

Now Sora was the one averting his gaze. Yes, he knew exactly what Roxas meant, at least with the latter thing… But he wasn’t going to bring that up now. This was about Roxas, not about him.

“Sorry,” Roxas said. “I didn’t mean to remind you…”

“It’s fine,” Sora interrupted him. “I just… Kinda don’t want to talk about it to be honest.”

“That’s okay.”

Sora turned to Roxas in surprise. He wasn’t… Angry about that? Sora had kind of expected to be condemned for that – after all, he had kind of made him talk, even though Roxas initially hadn’t wanted to.

But Roxas just smiled. “I think you might feel better if you do though.”

Probably. But Sora didn’t want to bother his friends with this. They wouldn’t understand… Well, Roxas, Xion and Naminé maybe would, but Sora didn’t want to stir up any more old memories for them, especially now that Roxas was already upset.

So he just shook his head. “It’s fine, I can handle it.” He had come here to help Roxas with his problems, not to load all of his own problems onto him after all. It would be unfair… Besides, Sora didn’t want Roxas to think that he had to help him now because he had ruined the party for him – which was why Roxas hadn’t wanted to talk in the first place.

“You know, I think I can handle it too,” Roxas argued. “If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t have offered it. And I know I feel a bit better after talking to you.”

Sora sighed. “You won’t…” He cut himself off. No. That was exactly what Roxas had been trying to tell him earlier, and Sora had tried anyways.

“I don’t know how to explain this,” he finally admitted. Even though they were in a similar situation regarding this.

“Maybe I don’t have to understand everything to help you,” Roxas answered, echoing what Sora had told him earlier. “Besides, I can ask questions, you know?”

He had a point with that, Sora had to admit… Actually, starting out with a question didn’t seem like the worst idea.

“Have you… Ever felt like your body isn’t really yours, Roxas?”

Sora wasn’t really sure about that part. Perhaps Roxas knew that feeling, since he had been about to say that his body had been made in a lab – but it was just as possible that he had only used this as an argument when overthinking his feeling about being not real. Sora just hoped that he wasn’t bringing any negative thoughts or memories back…

“Depends on what exactly you mean by that.” Roxas responded after a while. “If you mean knowing that your body was made in a lab, that it technically isn’t the same as everyone else’s is… Then yeah, I know how that feels.”

Honestly, Sora was fine with that. It wasn’t like they could have smuggled his body out of Quadratum too. Getting his heart out, past the borders of the different realities and back into the Realm of Light, had been difficult enough. At this point, he was just glad to be back with his friends.

“I mean it more like… Are you getting weird sensations sometimes?”, Sora asked more quietly. “Like… As if you’re feeling things that aren’t really there?”

Roxas furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

He probably thought Sora was crazy now and maybe he wasn’t even wrong with that. Even Sora himself sometimes didn’t know whether he was still sane.

Spending that last year in Quadratum, isolated and without anyone to interact with or a possibility for escape, had taken a toll on him. Yozora and his team hardly counted, seeing as they were the ones who had caused him the most trouble during his time there.

… Sora had done… Quite a few things he had thought he’d never do… Or at least he hoped he wouldn’t have.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on the tension that action caused rather than the resurfacing memories. Those things he did – he could never undo them ever again. They would probably haunt him forever.

He lowered his head. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m probably just crazy…”

Roxas shook his head. “Vex-… Even says that it’s almost impossible to tell a Replica apart from a normal human body, but there are some differences,” he explained. Apparently he still hadn’t gotten used to calling the former Organization member by his real name. “Maybe it has to do with those?”

“I don’t know,” Sora confessed. “Have you ever felt like you’re wearing gloves despite not wearing any, and that sensation kind of overlaps with the sensation of what you’re actually touching?”

That was likely not what Roxas had been expecting. His expression changed from a concerned one to an outright shocked one. “You should definitely check in with Even. That’s not normal, Sora, at least in my experience.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be, it’s probably just that your Replica needs a few adjustments.” He gave him a smile that was probably supposed to be encouraging, but it couldn’t disguise the worried look in his eyes. “Trust me, that happened to us too.”

“But what if it’s not about that? What if there is something wrong with me instead?”

Perhaps he was turning this into a far bigger deal than what it actually was, but after everything that had happened in the last year…. Sora was seriously scared that some dark part of him was taking over permanently and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Being in Kairi’s heart for a while had been soothing, like taking a long nap in the warm sun. But even that couldn’t fully undo the damage that had already been done.

“If that’s the case, then we’ll find another way to help you.”

Sora lifted his head to look at Roxas in surprise. He just said that… Totally casual, but with confidence, like there was no problem in the first place.

“What if you can’t?”, Sora whispered. “I might be here again, but… What if I’m still lost forever?”

Roxas shook his head. “There is always a way.” He gave him another encouraging smile. “That’s something I’ve learned from you. You always insisted that I had a right to exist, even when you were told that it was impossible for the both of us to exist next to each other.”

He wasn’t wrong about that, Sora had to give him that. But this was an entirely different situation! Roxas may have been a Nobody when he first came into existence, but he had never been potentially lost to the darkness like Sora was. Roxas hadn’t done all, if any, of the things Sora had done over the past year.

… In moments like these… Sora wondered if it would have been better if he had just died. If not after abusing the Power of Waking to save Kairi, then in Quadratum. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to live anymore, in fact he was glad to be alive still, see his friends again, but… If he had died, he wouldn’t have to live with those feelings. That was just a thought that crossed his mind sometimes, starting when he was still in Quadratum.

“You never gave up on me,” Roxas said as he gently placed his hand on Sora’s shoulder, who almost forgot about the strange feeling of heavy fabric that deafened the sensation. “Don’t you dare give up on yourself, Sora.”

“I…” He sobbed as his vision became blurry.

Roxas… Was right.

“Sora, it’s okay…”

Before Roxas could say any more, Sora pulled him into an impulsive hug. He didn’t really know what he was doing… It happened before he could think about it.

“Thank you!”

Roxas didn’t react immediately, and for a short moment, Sora feared that he had pushed him out of his comfort zone – but then, he felt two hands on his back. “You’re welcome,” Roxas said. “And… Thank you too.”

“No… No big deal.” Sora still couldn’t hold the sobs back. But he didn’t even try to not cry this time around. It was okay.

They sat together in silence for a while after resolving the hug, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Sora still felt a bit guilty. He had come to comfort Roxas after all – but in the end, Roxas had ended up comforting him instead, even though he knew he probably didn’t need to. After all, it was like he had said: he could always say no.

So it was probably okay… Or at least, it would be.

He was back with his friends now. Whether he was messed up or not, with them on his side, he would heal over time. As long as he didn’t give up on himself – there was always a way. His mind already knew that, and his heart would hopefully soon follow up.

“Come on.”

“Huh?” Sora hadn’t yet noticed that Roxas had stood up. Now he was offering him his hand, as well as another encouraging smile.

“The others are waiting.”

#Kingdom Hearts #KH Fanfiction #*sigh*#... I didn't do the happy part in happy birthday justice #I'm sorry #Sora #Roxas #Angst #Hurt/Comfort #Heavy topics #Fanwork #Fanfiction #Long Post #Re:Birth #Currantlee writing #Currantlee completed #Currantlee completed Story #Currantlee completed KH Fanfic

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currantlee · 3 years

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Language: English Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (T) / P12 Warnings: Discussion of Death Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Songfic Characters: Xion, Roxas, Naminé (mentioned), Sora (mentioned), Ventus (mentioned), Axel (mentioned) Relationships: Roxas/Xion (RokuShi) Words: 3,689 Chapter: 1/1 Beta: @theeeveetamer Notes: inspired by Until the End, a RWBY song that I get heavy RokuShi vibes from for some reason. There might be continuity and / or characterization errors in here. Full notes on Ao3, as always. Other Platforms: -

A new day is gone without a trace All memories are dark and light is fading

To someone who had never been to Twilight Town before, time must have seemed to stand still due to the eternal state of twilight this world was stuck in. Xion had, however, made out a pattern long ago. While the sun itself never changed its position, but the colors of the sky faded between the pastels of a sunrise and the bright reds of a sunset over the course of the day and night.

Currently, some clouds were obscuring the sun, their grey causing the sky to appear in a darker, more navy tone of blue than usual, alongside deep reds and violets. And those colors were still too bright to reflect her current mood.

Today had been another day of fighting to get out of bed because the exhaustion was almost too strong to bear. Another day where her dreams of a normal life slipped away, as she couldn’t even keep up with school. Another day of the headaches – the ones caused by Naminé’s memory powers, though Xion couldn’t fault her for those. She was just as exhausted from using those as Roxas and Xion were, if not even more. And yet… Another pointless day with no results. Not even a trace of their vanished friend, despite all of the effort, the headaches, the exhaustion…

That feeling… It was just so… Xion wanted to scream, she wanted to punch something. Why did it have to be this way?! They deserved an outcome of their hard work – and Sora deserved better than being lost.

The longer this went on, the more those bright memories were tainted with a darker color, like drops of darkness fell onto them, obscuring and eventually extinguishing all the light that came from them. Everything Roxas, Naminé and Xion herself tried in order to help find their lost friend seemed to never be enough, and that didn’t help to brighten up her mood either.

… Maybe, it was better to accept that Sora was gone… So he could rest in peace. He wouldn’t want them to feel bad because of him all the time, Xion knew that.

A tear rolled down her cheek. No. They couldn’t just give up like this. Kairi would never get over Sora’s disappearance. Besides, he was the reason why both she and Roxas even existed – because he had never given up on finding a way for making the impossible happen. He deserved that they did the same for him now.

Besides… If he was gone… Wouldn’t that mean their days were numbered as well?

Xion held her hands in front of her face, against the ever-setting sun, just to see if they were still there. The clock of the tower started to ring – Xion could feel the swings of the noise whenever this happened while she was up there. One, two, three… Nine times.

The faded light bathed her hands in a reddish orange, almost as if it was shining through the flesh of her replica body. Was she fading away too, again?

“Hey Xion.”

She turned around to see a familiar blonde standing behind her. Xion felt a smile tug at her lips, but the fear of fading was stronger than that and all she managed was a short twitch of her lips before she spoke. “Hey Roxas.”

She gestured to the empty space at her side. A wide smile spread across his face as he took her offer and pulled out two familiar packages from his pocket, handing her one. “Here. It won’t help with the headaches, but… I figured it might still do some good.”

It was sea-salt ice cream… Of course it would be sea-salt ice cream. She finally managed to crack a smile. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Silence fell between the two as they unpacked their creamsicles and started eating while watching the sunset. The clouds had finally unveiled the sun, and by now the sky and the town were illuminated in bright yellows, reds and oranges. The clouds glowed in a lovely, warm pink.

“It’s almost like the old times,” Roxas said after some minutes of silence.

Yes… Almost. “Where is Axel though?”, she asked.

“He said he’d catch up later,” he responded.

“So it’s just like the old times,” she remarked chuckling. “Thinking about it, he used to be late from time to time.”

“True.” Roxas grinned briefly before his eyebrows twitched and he let out a small wince. “Ouch…”

Xion’s heart slightly hurt hearing that – like it was being pulled on. She knew that feeling… It meant that she was worried about him. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah… Can you hold my ice cream for a second?”

She nodded and Roxas handed the creamsicle to her with a grateful smile. Then, he proceeded to massage his temples.

Xion raised an eyebrow. “Brainfreeze?” A small nod confirmed her suspicion.

She knew he hadn’t been sleeping very well ever since Sora’s disappearance. He tossed and turned after going to bed, sometimes for hours before finally entering the realm of dreams. And even then, it weren’t always good ones.

To be frank, Xion hadn’t had the best sleep in her short life either, but at least it found her quickly after another long, exhausting day of work. The dark circles under her eyes grew deeper with every day nonetheless, just as Roxas’s did.

The lack of sleep, Naminé’s memory powers… All of that combined often led to headaches, triggered and untriggered ones. Maybe the ice cream hasn’t been a good idea after all, taking that into consideration.

“Don’t worry too much about it,” Roxas interrupted her line of thought with a slight smile. “It’s just a headache. Nothing I can’t handle, really.”

He was right in a sense – they had been through far worse. Still… “Maybe you should take a break.”

She remembered the evening of Sora’s disappearance like it had happened the day before, even though it had been months ago at this point. Roxas had collapsed almost immediately after that event, going as far as being rushed to the Destiny Islands hospital because their friends were concerned he might have a heart attack. In the end it turned out that there were only deviations of his heart rhythm, But that was bad enough from what little Xion understood about medicine. Almost as if whatever stabilized his heart rate was gone… Just like Sora.

She remembered holding his hand in the emergency room. Ven had asked him how he was feeling, to which Roxas had responded by panicking over possibly dying, something that had made her want to scream and run away – but she stayed and took his hand into hers, trying her best to be strong for him. She couldn’t remember if his hand had ever been as cold before, and thus she had taken it as a bad sign.

The environment hadn’t exactly contributed to calming her down either. All the sterile white, the machines and the staff running around shouting things she didn’t understand…

This beeping thing at Roxas’ bedside was the worst. It had wires attached to his chest and Xion couldn’t shake the feeling that it was doing something to his likely already damaged heart. Roxas seemed to think the same as he had ripped the wires off after the staff had finally left them alone – only for the machine to make a long, loud, agonizing beep and the doctors rushing into the room again, assuming his heart had stopped beating. It had been a mess.

After that, a kind nurse had explained to them that it was a heart monitor, that the noises were supposed to represent Roxas’s heartbeat and that it would alert the staff in case his condition worsened – but Xion got the feeling that Roxas still didn’t like the fact that he was hooked up to this thing.

She didn’t like it either. Even though it was just for monitoring purposes, knowing all of this had made it even more agonizing. For hours, the beeping had been more or less irregular. Sometimes Xion thought it was finally over, only for Roxas’s heart to skip another beat and go back to beating irregularly. And once the noises – or more like his heart rate – finally became permanently predictable, he had been asleep and the clock displayed a time way past midnight.

Fortunately, nothing like that had happened to him ever since, despite the fact that Roxas kept pushing his limits. He was determined to find Sora and, Kairi and Riku excluded, he was probably the best bet when it came to finding any clues – and he knew it.

“I wish I could do that,” he whispered. “Just… Move on, you know? Finally have a normal life.” He let out a heavy sigh. “But I don’t want to…”

He didn’t finish his sentence and Xion was reminded of her thoughts from earlier, when she had held her hands against the light of the ever-setting sun to see if they weren’t fading away. She wondered if he had thought about this as well.

Roxas shook his head a little. “I have to keep going. It… It just feels like a part of me has been ripped away,” His voice sounded a bit weary – the exhaustion was coming through. “Besides, there is something I want to ask Sora.”

An answer he might never get, Xion thought. “What is it?”

“I just don’t understand how he could stay so calm,” Roxas mumbled. “Kairi said he knew it was coming. I just… I don’t understand…”

“I do.”

She thought back to her own disappearance – Xion didn’t like to call it death, even though that was technically what had transpired on that fateful day. It had been here, on the clock tower, just a few feet away from where they were sitting right now. Thinking about it, it wasn’t too dissimilar to what happened to Sora.

Back then, she had sacrificed herself so he could live… Just like Sora had sacrificed himself so Kairi could live. Probably the only significant difference was that Sora and Kairi had actually shared a personal bond when this happened, while Xion and Sora… The only thing she had shared with him was what had been rightfully his.

Taking this into account, sacrificing herself for Sora had felt like the right thing to do. Xion didn’t regret it – especially because in the end, she had been given this second chance at life, which she was beyond grateful for. But there was another reason why she didn’t.

“His favorite person was with him until the end,” she explained whispering. “Trust me, when you know you’re not going to last much longer, then having someone special with you when it happens… It makes you happy, you know?”

Roxas blushed a little hearing that, and a warm, pleasantly tingling feeling spread out inside Xion’s belly. It was rare that he did, but she liked the sight of his cheeks flushing in that rosy color.

It was only for a short moment before his expression turned back to a more solemn one. “Maybe,” he said quietly. “I don’t know.” After all, he had been alone when he had abandoned his existence so Sora could wake up from his year-long sleep.

… She had never realized that before.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“You were all alone.” She couldn’t manage to say more – it would only tear old wounds open again.

A lump formed in Xion’s throat when she remembered the way Roxas had cradled her during her last minutes. Despite having found out who she really was and what her only intended purpose had been, despite having fought Roxas only minutes prior, despite him not remembering who she was – it didn’t feel bad back then. Knowing that he was going to be the last thing she saw had somewhat eased everything else.

Thinking about how Roxas didn’t have that… He had never revealed the details surrounding his own “death”, but Xion knew enough for her eyes to become watery and her heart hurt thinking about that – like it wanted to cry for him.

“Oh.” Roxas lowered his head. “Yeah…”

Xion decided that it was best to not discuss that topic any further, especially due to that growing, tight feeling in her stomach. It made her so uncomfortable, nervous even… She wanted to run, despite knowing that it wouldn’t help. She couldn’t run from fading after all…

… Maybe the ice cream could do something about it? It had always worked during their Organization days, right?

She wordlessly handed Roxas’ creamsicle back to him and continued to eat her own, trying to suppress this unpleasant feeling.

… The ice cream was sweet. And salty. As usual. And the cold left a somewhat… Tingling feeling on her tongue. Combined with the taste of course. When she closed her eyes, she could almost feel the rays of sunshine on her face. Everything was fine…

“I think I would still have gone on a rampage, even if you were with me… When I faded away.”

Xion dropped her ice cream when he spoke up again. So… He did want to talk about it? A cold shiver ran down her spine thinking about it – not because of him. She trusted Roxas, and she knew she could talk to him about anything. But the thought of talking about this… And maybe getting the answer that the clenching feeling in her stomach was right about what was to come… The thought of hearing it from him…

Xion wanted to scream, but she didn’t. Instead, she raised her voice again. It shook a little. “Well, I think we both know you would have gone nuts…”

“It’s just not fair,” Roxas said as his free hand curled into a fist. His expression had grown a lot darker, and Xion wondered what he was thinking about – Sora’s disappearance or his own. “None of this is fair…”

And he was right about that.

It wasn’t fair that someone as good and kind-hearted Sora had paid for saving them and countless others with his own existence. It wasn’t fair that they spent their days in countless futile attempts to find any clues on his whereabouts despite all of their efforts. It wasn’t fair that the life they had fought for still wasn’t theirs in a way. And most of all, it wasn’t fair that all of this had been for nothing if they were just going to fade away again anyways…

Maybe the Organization and all of those other people had been right after all. Maybe it didn’t matter how hard they tried because Nobodies could never be Somebodies, never live more than a lie after all…

A tear rolled down her cheek.

“Xixi?” Roxas’s voice softened as used her nickname that he only called her by when they were completely alone. Knowing that she might not get to hear it for much longer made more tears streak down her cheeks.

“I don’t want to fade away again, Roxas,” she blurted out sobbing. “I just want to live!” There was so much she still wanted to do, so many unfulfilled dreams… “I just want you to live…” Her voice, already high and squeaky, finally broke.

“Xion, why do you…”

“When you were admitted to the hospital, I felt horrible inside!”, she sobbed loudly, almost yelling even. “Roxas, I was so scared…”

She stopped talking abruptly. Was that what this clenching, almost hurting feeling was? Being scared? Fear?

Before she could think much more about it, she felt the warmth of Roxas’ hand on her own.

“But I’m still here…”

“How do I know you will still be here tomorrow?”, Xion sobbed. “How do I know I’ll still be here tomorrow?”

“Because I don’t intend to go anywhere.”

Roxas’ voice was so warm and calm… So comforting that a new feeling sprouted in Xion’s heart, one that wrapped around her like a warm blanket and somewhat soothed the pressing ache that was her fear. Funny how she could have two seemingly opposing emotions at the same time – was having a heart this complicated for everyone? It could be so difficult to feel…

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Roxas asked.

Yes… No. She didn’t know.

“It might help.”

Maybe. But then again, he had enough to worry about at the moment. If he hadn’t already had the same thoughts as she had, then she didn’t want to put them into his mind by telling him… Even though Xion knew he wouldn’t offer it if he didn’t feel like he could take it.

On the other hand… She had already let some of it slip earlier. Still, she didn’t want to scare him as well. Maybe it was better to talk about something else. Something she knew made both of them feel bad.

“It’s just…” So much for that plan. How was she going to say this without diving into the subject of being scared of dying again “We haven’t found a single clue yet…”

“I know,” Roxas murmured. “That’s why I have to keep trying.”

“You mean we have to keep trying,” Xion corrected him.

Roxas shook his head in response. “Xion, you don’t have to continue if you can’t,” he declared. “If you need a break, then take it…”

She knew he didn’t mean to do that, but this answer sent her over the edge again. More tears ran down her cheek. “But breaks only mean losing more time…” Time they might be running out of. She sighed. “Sometimes I wonder whether we should just give up and enjoy the time we have left as while we can, you know? It’s what Sora would want.”

It’s what he did himself, Xion added in her thoughts. Ironic how he hadn’t given up on two people that were supposed to not exist anymore, but had been quick to accept his own fate (as long as it meant that the people he cared about were safe).

And here she was, suggesting to give up on him, the person who had not given up on them, so they could live their best life. And her reasoning for it? Something he had supposedly wanted… She was so selfish.

Xion wanted to choke. “I’m a horrible person,” she said instead. “After all he has done for us…”

“Please don’t compare yourself to Sora,” Roxas interrupted her swiftly. “He is far too selfless for his own – or quite frankly anybody’s – good. Just look at what it’s done to all of us.” He sounded angry once again now. “When he returns, I’m going to punch him for all of this, I swear! Especially for making you feel bad about yourself!”

And afterwards, he would likely pull Sora into a fierce hug. Xion knew Roxas well enough to know that he couldn’t stay mad at him for…

Before she could finish her line of thought, she felt Roxas wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

Xion felt a blush creeping into her cheeks and suddenly there were butterflies in her stomach. Not actual butterflies of course – more like what she imagined actual butterflies would feel like if they were living in her stomach. That was the best way she could describe the tingling sensation.

It was part of a strong emotion, but not unpleasant at all – in fact, Xion liked it. She always got it when they were close like this, although she hadn’t quite figured out what exactly it meant yet.

She hugged him back. Maybe that could squeeze out a bit more of that feeling… He rested his head on hers when she did so, adding to their closeness.

Xion liked their hugs a lot too. They were tight, but in a way that made her feel secure, not trapped. The warmth of Roxas’s body reminded her that they were still here, together and alive – which was so much more than she could ever have dreamed of.

The tears stopped running soon, and her breathing evened out – the butterflies still fluttered though.

It was only after a while that Roxas spoke up again, not letting go of her as he did so. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

Roxas pulled away from the hug. He looked pretty serious. “It’s about what you said earlier,” he warned her. “If you don’t want to be asked about that, then I won’t ask.”

To Xion’s surprise, while the feeling in her stomach from before returned as he mentioned it, it didn’t return with the same intensity as before. If it didn’t get any stronger… There was nothing to lose, right?

“It’s fine, go ahead.”

He still hesitated a bit, Xion could tell, but somehow, that made her heart jump a little bit.

“What makes you think we’re going to die again?”

Blunt as always – even when he was trying to be considerate. Had she not been scared, she would probably be amused by it. In any way, it made responding a little bit easier. “I just thought,” Xion whispered, “we owe our existence to Sora. But now that he doesn’t exist anymore…”

Her voice had gotten even quieter in towards the end, and she didn’t manage to finish the sentence. She just… She couldn’t say those words.

Roxas didn’t respond verbally. Instead, he took her hand and laced their fingers together.

Xion sighed. She just wished that he would say something to keep her thoughts from spiraling into that direction again…

“I actually had the same thought a while ago.”

Oh no. That… That wasn’t a response Xion had wanted to hear. Well, at least she didn’t give him that thought in the first place. That was a small relief. Still… Could that mean that it was true?

She swallowed. “When?”

“At the hospital.”

Right… His panic after Ven’s question. That was what started it all.

Roxas was looking at his hands now – with a guilty expression. “I’m sorry for telling you back then… I didn’t mean to scare you like I obviously did.”

Xion shook her head. “Don’t be sorry, Roxas.” She squeezed his hand a little tighter. “It’s not like it was your fault. This entire experience was pretty scary to be honest. For everyone involved.” But it was over. She sighed – somewhat in relief. “You’re okay now, aren’t you?” She had to make sure.

Roxas grinned. “Aside from the headaches, I’d say I am.”

For the first time since her outburst, Xion managed to crack a tiny smile. Only for a small moment though. “You think you… We will be okay?”

“I think we will. It just doesn’t feel like the end of our story and quite frankly, it doesn’t make any sense… Besides, the last time I thought it was going to end it didn’t.” He wasn’t wrong with that. “But the truth is… I don’t really know for sure. And no matter how much I try to reassure myself that it won’t happen… I’m still scared it will.”

It was such an honest answer – and truthfully, Xion shared his feelings about the entire situation. Thinking about it, it made no sense why either of them should fade away again. And yet… Logic and emotion were two different pairs of shoes.

This was probably the scariest thing about the entire situation: they could make assumptions and draw logical conclusions all they wanted – they would never know for sure what was about to come. It was supposed to be the exciting thing about the adventure that was life, Xion supposed, but in this instance, it scared her, even more than the thought of fading again, and almost as much as the thought of losing Roxas did.

“Hey Xion?”

“Hm?”

He squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Whatever happens… I promise, I’ll be here until the end.”

I promise I’ll be here until the end

#Fanwork #Kingdom Hearts #KH Fanfiction #RokuShi #RokuShi Fanfiction #Roxas #Xion #Post-KH3 #Long Post #Currantlee writing #Currantlee completed #Currantlee completed Story #Currantlee completed KH Fanfic

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