#burn boost 2023
Video
✅BURN BOOST Review - BURN BOOST Work? BURN BOOST Buy - BURN BOOST is Good?
0 notes
Note
Hi, I'm a mod for the Thomas Sanders Sides Big Bang @sandersidesbigbang. We're just about to kickstart the event! Our sign ups open Saturday, May 13, 2023 and our event starts June 5, 2023! If you can't participate can you signal boost the event? Our FAQ and schedule are up on the blog, and our askbox is always open for questions, so feel free to ask -Mod Crow
I don’t think I can participate in two at the same time. My schedule looks tight enough as it is.
Boosting this for people that might be interested.
#sanders sides big bang 2023#thomas sanders#sanders sides#boost#I would love to participate in both this and the tss story time Big Bang at the same time but#I don’t want to burn myself out and let people down#plus I would probably confuse myself between the two events#ty for asking though
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
kinktober 2023 -> day 20
scratching - bokuto koutaro x reader
word count: 750
kinktober masterlist
In his first week of joining MSBY, Hinata received the shock of his life when he first saw Bokuto shirtless in the locker room.
“Bokuto-san!” He had gasped, eyes widening when they fell on his senpai’s back. Red scratches lined the wide expanse of skin, some long and thin, some short and choppy, scattered between them were small, crescent shaped markings that looked an awful lot like nails digging into skin. Bokuto had turned around at the sound of his name, staring curiously at Hinata until the boy had gestured to Bokuto’s marred back questioningly. He laughed.
Bokuto was a beast on the court. So he didn’t understand why people were surprised that he was a beast in bed too. Nothing about him was subtle, so of course, the remnants of his sex life lived on his skin proudly, and he had no desire to hide them. After Hinata got over his initial shock, he realized how on-brand this actually was. Bokuto was an intense person, loud and proud, and he met the same standards in all areas of his life. All of them.
So when Bokuto fucked you into the mattress, pounded his cock into your little hole, he didn’t protest against your body’s reactions, didn’t mind when you screamed and arched, arms wrapping around him and nails digging deep into his skin. He welcomed it, reveled in the pricking and burning on his back when you dragged your fingers over it, crying into his ear about how good it felt, how you had missed his cock filling you up the way it was right now. He would watch your teary eyes and flushed face, feeling the last vestiges of his control slip away at how pathetic and whiny you looked, reduced into a mess because of him.
Your feet would kick out, twitching and trembling when he found that one glorious spot deep inside you, the tip of his dick hitting it again and again, hips smacking into you with purpose. One of his hands would reach for the headboard, holding himself steady as he lost himself to the feeling of your tight, fluttering walls, squeezing so gloriously around his shaft that it only made him go faster, thrust harder, hearing you squeal and arch until your breasts pressed to his bare torso, and your nails dug deep, likely drawing blood, little swipes of your hands as you came around his dick, crying at how good he made you feel.
There was a sharp, sharp sting that came with your nails. When you would first dig them into Bokuto’s back, he didn’t feel much, but as time passed and Bokuto kept thrusting into you, he would feel a thin burn, tracks of it shooting their way down his back until they made him tense up, and all the blood rushed to his cock. The pain would muddle his brain so gloriously it made him feral. And all he could think of was filling your begging, weeping cunt full of his cum.
The snug, wet warmth of your pussy, combined with the tingling fire on his back, was what made him empty his load into you, eyes rolling up as his hips stuttered, smacking his hips into you one last time before he came deep inside, feeling as if his very soul was being sucked out of him and into the welcoming embrace of your greedy cunt. It was enough to make Bokuto black out for a moment, so lightheaded that, for a split second, he would forget his own name.
He wouldn’t even register the aftereffects of your passionate activities until he heard your horrified gasp behind him in the shower.
“Kou, your back!” Your eyes wide with guilt, one hand covering your mouth in shock. Bokuto would blink in confusion as you fussed over him, not understanding what the big deal was. So you had scratched him up while having sex, what was the problem here? It felt good when you did it, and it still felt good afterward. He could feel the sting whenever he moved, a reminder of his bedroom activities, a huge boost to his ever-hungry ego. And when he would try to explain it to you, proudly yet childishly calling them ‘battle scars’, you would huff out a worried laugh, only backing down when he reassured you over and over again that he liked it, loved it, in fact. Would proudly carry the signs of your pleasure on his back. Would be willing to show everyone how good he made his girl feel.
The entire volleyball team already knew, and if some paparazzi were to conveniently catch him shirtless at any time, the whole world would know too. And Bokuto had no problem with that.
Taglist:
@bxbyyyjocelyn @thisbicc @lazuliquartz @dreamayy @kuroosluthoe @true-form-hoe @akumakitsune21 @cham0mil3-and-h0n3y @samisfunky @universal-s1ut @msbyomimi @dohwaesu @leothesquishy @n0tmykays @tsukiran @reyofsunshinelol @bleach-your-panties @galaneiaeris @leyra-giovanni @erenspersonalwh0re @peachesncats @soapsoftheworld @iwannabecamiloshovel @vintagevict0ria @smithieandy @moonlit-mizukage @snazzyturtles @argwein
A/N: For those whose tags arent working, im sorry! I tried and for some reason, your names wont show up in the mentions :( another way of being notified is to turn on my blog notifs for @teamatsumufics . I only reblog my fics there so it serves almost like being in a taglist!
#bokuto koutarou#bokuto koutaro x reader#bokuto kotaro smut#bokuto koutaro x y/n#bokuto kotaro x you#bokuto koutaro smut#bokuto imagine#bokuto fanfiction#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu imagines#bokuto x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
psycho | wen junhui
SYNOPSIS. in which a new patient is assigned for treatment under your care, and you begin to put the puzzles and pieces together to a past case that you thought to have ceased away from your mind.
PAIRING. wen junhui x psychologist!reader (ft. nurse!seokmin)
GENRE. dark au, mystery, angst, a tiny tiny subtle pinch of fluff, my very first attempt at a psychological thriller :>
WARNINGS. LOTS of descriptions and talks about fire, cursing, mentions of death, a mention of cigarettes, descriptions of scars + burns, descriptions of injuries from glass, mention of blood, reader has a small habit of scratching at their arms, jun makes a suggestive comment if you take it that way
WORD COUNT. 12.8k
notes: this is for the caratsland event and probably the most complex plot i've tried to execute so far jsdlkfdfsdf. thank you to @slytherinshua for reading this over for me and being my lil confidence boost 💕 feedback would be much appreciated!! pls remember this is all fictional and not at all an accurate depiction of a psychiatric facility!!
another note: also this turned out to be rlly dialogue heavy and jun asks too many damn questions in this istg lmao
PRESENT DAY: 2023
"Dr. L/N, you have a new patient assigned to you in room 610."
You don't glance up from your desk. Instead, you finish reviewing the case notes of your previous patient and nod in acknowledgment to the nurse standing in your doorway, a friendly young man named Lee Seokmin who was a recent hire, as you were told. As you hear the drop of a patient file in front of you, you lean back in your chair and finally get yourself to look up.
"Thank you, Seokmin," You tell him with a soft smile.
Seokmin grins, teeth all-flashy and cheerful. "You're welcome, doctor," before dismissing himself back out of your office.
You turn your attention to the patient file now resting on your desk. As you start to read through the notes, you see it only contains some basic information about the patient: name, age, and a brief overview of their medical and psychiatric history. It's a starting point, but you know that the real work begins when you meet the person behind the paperwork.
"Name, Moon Jun... male, age 27..." You quietly study the file to yourself. The file mentions a history of severe emotional trauma and burn scars due to a fire, which immediately catches your attention in more ways than one. It also mentions extensive facial scarring and a history of therapy that completely lacked significant progress. A part of it is a familiar story in your field𑁋it isn't uncommon for individuals to experience setbacks in their recovery.
But there's something about this patient's history that tugs oddly at your heartstrings.
As you rummage deeper into the file, you come across a brief note from a colleague who had previously assessed Moon Jun, mentioning he had been withdrawn and non-communicative during his stay, displaying anti-social behaviour, sometimes even having random bursts of aggression when approached. You take a mental note of all this in your head.
Closing the patient file, you rise from your chair and adjust the white coat draped around you, before leaving your office. You make your way through the sterile, fluorescent-lit hallways of the psychiatric facility. The environment here is all-too familiar to you; you've spent years navigating these halls. With every door you pass, there hides a different story; a different struggle; a different battle.
Upon finally reaching the room, you hesitate outside the door for a moment. The anticipation and curiosity surrounding you mixes with a touch of uncertainty, almost like fear, as they often do when meeting a new patient. You've been doing this for nearly ten years, and the feeling isn't new.
Then as you come back to your senses, you lift a hand, give a gentle knock to the door, before entering the room. It's dimly lit inside, the curtains ominously drawn on the windows to conceal the sunlight peeking through. A figure sits at the edge of the bed, back turned to you, and the hood of his hoodie pulled low over his head worn over his patient gown.
"Moon... Jun?" You call out softly, trying not to startle him.
He doesn't respond immediately, shoulders tensing at the sound of your voice. After a moment of silence, he slowly turns his head to acknowledge your presence. Half of his face is obscured by a mask, leaving only his dark eyes visible.
"Doctor," he replies gravelly.
His gaze lingers on you as you take a seat in a chair that sat against the wall next to the bed, keeping a respectful distance from him. You've encountered many patients who have initially shown distrust or apprehension, but there's an intensity in the way he looks at you that sends something chilling on the surface of your skin, especially when it's the only part of his face that you can see.
You try to break the ice with a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Moon. My name is Dr. Y/N, and I'll be conducting our therapy sessions during your stay here. Please, make yourself as comfortable as you can."
He slowly nods, but his eyes never leave yours. The mask covering his face makes it difficult to read his expressions.
"Before we begin," You continue, clearing your throat. "I want you to know that this is a safe and confidential space. Our conversations are private, and I'm here to help you in any way I can𑁋to help you heal. You can share as much or as little as you're comfortable with."
You see the way his gloved hands clench together in his lap.
"I can't be healed," he mutters quietly, voice trembling as you sense the hopelessness in his tone. You've heard this phrase many times before during your career.
"I understand that you may feel that way right now," You reply, as soothingly as possible. "but I believe that with time and the right support, healing is possible for anyone. It's a journey, and I'm here to walk it with you. It's a process, and you don't have to go through it alone."
His gaze remains fixed on you, and the unsettling tension in the room lingers, almost palpable that you feel like there's an imaginary barrier between you and him that was enough for you to see this small part of him, while he can see all of you.
"Would you like to tell me a little bit about yourself? How do you feel coming here today?" You ask, hoping to begin the process of establishing some sort of connection.
He uncomfortably shifts a bit on the bed.
"I never wanted to come here," he says flatly. "They say this is a place of healing, but I've seen enough doctors like you. They prod and poke, dig into your past, and in the end, nothing changes. They don't know what I've been through, what I've seen. The scars, everything, they don't heal."
The words that leave his mouth are bitter and sour, yet you could only get yourself to nod sympathetically.
"It's not uncommon for people to feel that way, especially if they haven't found the right support. I want you to know that my approach is different. I'm here to listen, not to prod or poke." You glance down at the file in your hand and flip it over so that you couldn't see any information about him. "You're in control of our sessions, Mr. Moon. We can go at whatever pace you'd like."
He finally seems intrigued by this, leaning in ever so slightly, eyes devoid of colour that seemed to bore straight into yours.
"Control?" he repeats, voice still carrying a hint of skepticism.
You nod once more. "Yes, control. You get to decide what you want to talk about, what you're comfortable sharing, and at what pace. If there are topics you'd like to avoid or take your time with, that's completely okay. We can work together to create a safe space for you."
He seems to be taking in your words. "And... what if I choose not to talk at all?"
You offer a reassuring smile. "Then that's the option we can settle with."
The minutes that tick by seem dreadingly slow, and there's a light that dances in his eyes from the singular light fixture hanging above that almost resembles that of a flame. It doesn't go away even if he blinks, and it draws you in. Just a tiny bit.
"However, is there anything specific you'd like to share with me today, Mr. Moon?" You ask, trying to keep the conversation flowing. "Any thoughts or concerns you'd like to discuss?"
For a moment, it seems like he's about to speak, but then he shakes his head ever so slightly, his hooded gaze still locked onto yours.
"Very well then." You let out a very subtle, shaky breath. It felt almost relieving. Silence it is.
That's what most of the session has come to𑁋sitting in this peculiar silence, feeling his eyes burn a hole right through you. It isn't until the end of the hour that he calls out toward you just as you were about to his exit his room, and you turn back to face him.
"Can you heal me, doctor?" he asks quietly, almost begging in a way. It's unnerving.
All you do is give him a faint smile.
"I'll try my best, Mr. Moon."
FLASHBACK: 2013
"...All I could see were orange and red flames, and the smoke was hurting my eyes. I couldn't breathe𑁋just barely, but it hurt. It was painful. They were getting larger and larger and the screams louder and louder. Everything was gone."
"And what did you do while the fire kept growing?"
"I watched it all happen. I watched it all burn in front of me." The words had sent an eerie shiver up your spine, forcing the pen in your hands to stop mid-sentence. There was a singular pause that had come to follow, a harrowing silence that seemed to stretch into eternity, a subtle quiver in his voice that you barely caught. "There was nothing I could do."
You clicked your pen, its sound echoing in the tense silence. The room seemed to grow colder with each moment that passed.
"But it's all my fault, right?" he had asked, tone so innocent that it itches a part of your heart uncomfortably, but tugged in a way you felt determined to take root of the grief in his chest and rip it apart. And for a moment as you looked in his dark eyes, over his youthful features and guilt-ridden face, you felt that inkling feeling again. "I killed them. It's all my fault."
"None of this is your fault. Blaming yourself for something you couldn't control is a heavy burden to carry," You reassured him calmly, as gently as you could, knowing the power that your own words could cause for someone seemingly lost, troubled, and young. "You saved yourself. You're alive; you did what you could to survive, and you're here to heal. I'm here to help you heal, okay?"
Your reassurance was met with a fleeting smile, but it hadn't quite reach his eyes, yet his gaze peered directly into you as if searching for something in you𑁋you could only think it was hope. Hope that he wanted to heal just as much as you wanted to help him heal. It's your job. This was why you took this job in the first place.
You needed to save people, either from the demons in their minds or the traumas that haunted them. This boy had lost his entire family in a housefire, for God's sake. This was your duty.
"It's not my fault," he had said, and met your eyes, as if searching for approval. "It's not my fault."
"That's right, Hui." You offered him a faint, assuring smile. "It's not your fault."
PRESENT DAY: 2023
"Excuse me, Dr. L/N? Is it okay if I sit here?"
You glance up to see Seokmin holding up a tray of lunch food, returning you from your zoning thoughts. You shoot him a kind smile and a nod, motioning to the empty space across from you for him to have a seat. Usually, you frequently have lunch alone in the comfort of your office where you can tend to yourself in solitude, but today, you might as well welcome the company.
Seokmin sets his tray down and takes a seat, and for some minutes, there's a comfortable silence as you both begin to eat. He seems to notice the tired lines to your face, but he doesn't press on about it.
"Have you been settling in well?" You ask him suddenly, breaking the silence.
"Huh, me? Oh." He's a bit taken aback, cheeks flushed, and you give a soft chuckle. "You could say that. I wanted to try something new after working bedside for the longest time. I didn't think that psych would be a field I was interested in𑁋look where I am now, though."
"That's the thing about this field." You let out a sigh, giving a knowing smile. "It has a way of drawing you in, even if you didn't plan on it."
"It was definitely an experience when I was in nursing school," Seokmin comments eagerly. You felt as if you were talking to a close friend rather than another colleague, and it feels rather refreshing. "and doing ICU was already draining of itself."
You take a sip of your drink, nodding your head. "I can only imagine. It can be quite rigorous."
Seokmin lets his gaze wander over you curiously. "How long have you worked here, doctor?"
"Please, you can just call me Y/N. Unless we're working."
Seokmin smiles. "How long have you worked here then, Y/N?"
You pause for a moment. Thinking about the amount of years you've worked in this field hasn't been a particular thought to come up𑁋time just seems to fly by when it's the only job you've been dedicated to for most of your life.
"Hm, ten years now? I believe this month will mark my ten years here."
Seokmin's eyes visibly widen in awe before responding, "Wow, that's... You must have really seen a lot of things. I really envy you, doctor."
Your smile fades just a bit; it's barely noticeable, though you still hope that Seokmin doesn't see it. You can feel that feeling gnaw at your skin again, something inexplicable, like a sense of foreboding that seemed to be creaking open a door you believed to have firmly shut for good.
But you choose to push it aside, just like you always do, dismissing it perfectly with a mutter of a thank you. It's ironic, considering this is what you do𑁋normally you would tell patients to confront their past and face their fears, but when it comes to your own, you tend to bury them.
There's an itch that crawls up your arms, and you knead at it through your sleeves with your fingers.
Maybe you can get used to this company, though.
"Do you have any kids, doctor?"
The question comes after a click of your pen, and you glance up from the vitals sheet in your hand to see Moon Jun sitting criss-crossed on the bed, gloved hands sitting on his lap and pupils peering curiously over you.
"No, Mr. Moon," You reply, keeping your tone soft, somewhat nonchalant. "I don't have any children."
He tilts his head slightly, almost as if he's studying you like a specimen under a microscope. The mask on his face makes him appear even more enigmatic, his dark, even charming eyes the only feature you can discern.
"No family at all?" he asks. "No husband, wife, or children to go home to?"
"I live alone. My work keeps me quite occupied."
Some silence passes.
"Alone," he repeats, almost to himself, as if savouring the word in his mouth. "Don't you ever feel... lonely though?"
His question hangs in the air like a dark cloud. It's an oddly personal inquiry, but you decide to address it professionally. "Loneliness is a feeling that many people experience at different points in their lives. It's a normal human emotion, and it's something we can work through."
His gaze narrows, and his gloved fingers twitch in his lap. His mask conceals most of his facial expressions, but you can sense an intensity in his gaze.
"I've felt lonely my entire life, you know," he points out as you sit yourself down in the chair in front of him just like all your previous sessions. Despite the considerable space between you two, sometimes you swear you can feel him breathing right down your neck. "Even being in here too, it.... feels like a different kind of loneliness. A place where they put people who are broken. Like me."
"I can assure you that you are not broken, Mr. Moon," You tell him reassuringly. "How are you with meeting the other patients here? Are there any you have been interacting with since our last session?"
He leans back slightly, his gloved hands still resting on his lap, and his gaze seems to drift momentarily as if he's recalling something.
"I think... they are scared of me, to be honest," he answers, eyes crinkling just slightly as if there was a smile playing on his lips right below his mask. "But... perhaps they're all just lost, confused, and weak. They pretend to get better, but they're just putting on a show. It's a bit pathetic, don't you think?"
"It's not uncommon for people in this environment to have their guard up," You tell him. "Sometimes, it's just a reaction to the unfamiliar. Everyone here is dealing with their own battles, just as you are, Mr. Moon."
He chuckles lowly at that. It's the first time you've heard such a sound like that leave his mouth, like a dissonant note echoing in an otherwise quiet room. His masked face gives nothing away.
"Maybe it's because of this stupid mask on my face," he says, touching the mask with the tips of his fingers. "It makes me look like a criminal or a monster."
"The mask might be intimidating to some," You acknowledge, crossing your arms together. "but it doesn't define who you are."
His eyes narrow slightly, though there's that twinge of amusement as he crosses his arms together, mirroring your body language.
"You're not scared of me, right, doctor?"
You meet his steady gaze, his own searching yours from behind the mask. There's a moment of silence, something unspoken lingering in the air.
"No, Mr. Moon, I'm not scared of you," You respond, keeping yourself composed. "I'm here to understand you."
He leans back, that hint of amusement still present on his face.
"I think you would make a great parent, doctor."
The unexpected compliment catches you off-guard for a moment, making you briefly at a loss for words. There's a slight blush that crawls up your cheeks, and you clear your throat, trying to regain your composure.
"Thank you." You give an appreciative smile. "That's very kind of you to say."
You see that flickering flame in his pupils again. It's a fire that seems to burn brighter with each passing minute, and it leaves you both intrigued and uneasy.
FLASHBACK: 2013
"I told you not to call me that!" Hui exclaimed angrily in frustration, his face turning a shade of red as he glared at you. The sudden outburst had caught you off-guard, and for a moment, found yourself at a loss for words. His face contorted with volatile frustration, and his hands clenched into fists.
"I apologise," You said calmly, doing your best to defuse the situation. "I didn't mean to upset you. What would you like me to call you then?"
He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself down. His shoulders slumped, and his expression softened slightly.
"Just call me by my nickname, okay?" he urged, voice a tad less sharp now, but it's still enough to pierce. "Hui is fine. I hate my name! It's ugly. I want to forget about it𑁋I want everyone to forget about it! That name doesn't exist anymore, got it?"
"Of course, I understand." You leaned back forward in your chair, slow and cautiously. "But I want you to tell me why you stole crayons from Chaewon earlier in the rec room."
Hui only scoffed in response. "It's not that big of a deal. I only took a few from her. She'll forget about it."
"You took something from someone else without permission, Hui," You explained matter-of-factly. "That's a violation of their personal space and boundaries."
Hui's focus darted around the room for a moment, lips pursed and fingers messing around with the frays of his hospital gown. Then his gaze hardened once more as he landed back on you. His silence was almost unsettling as it stretched between you, but you remained patient, waiting for him to offer an explanation.
"Fine, whatever," he muttered, finally relenting. "I wanted them for a project I'm working on, that's all."
"A project? What kind of project?"
"Back in group therapy... They wanted us to create something meaningful or something𑁋something that means a lot to us, and I needed the crayons for it. So I took them from her."
It took a couple of moments before you nodded, acknowledging his explanation. "I see, Hui. It's important to express yourself through art or projects, but it's also important to respect others' belongings. Try asking for what you need instead of taking it without permission, okay?"
Hui's response was a simple, noncommittal nod, eyes holding onto yours a moment too long.
"Now, the next time you're back in the rec room, please say sorry to Chaewon whenever you see her, okay?"
Again, all he did was nod begrudgingly, his expression showing a hint of reluctance.
"Good." You gave him a proud smile. "That's all for today. Tell me about your project next session, alright?"
You felt his eyes on you as you grabbed your case notes and stood up, before leaving him in his room. And even though you were out of his room, you swore you could still feel the weight of his gaze on you.
PRESENT DAY: 2023
You find Moon Jun sitting on the edge of the bed once entering inside of his room, gloved hands folded neatly in his lap. The mask obscures his face as usual, but his dark eyes lock onto yours the moment you walk inside. The dim lighting in the room casts long shadows on the walls, and you find yourself drawn into those shadows as you take a seat across from him.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Moon," You greet warmly, taking your usual seat across from him. "How has your day been so far?"
He doesn't immediately respond. There's a hint of curiosity in his hooded eyes, but it's devoid of warmth. It's subtle, almost imperceptible, but you've learned to pay attention to the smallest details when dealing with patients over the years. It still sends a shiver down your spine.
"Just been like any other day in this place," he finally replies coolly.
You offer a polite smile and proceed with the session. "Is there anything specific you'd like to discuss for today's session, Mr. Moon?"
He thinks for a moment, tapping his gloved fingers lightly against his knee. The rhythmic sound seems to echo in the room.
"Are you interested in mythology, doctor?" he asks, and the question was certainly something you didn't expect him to ask. He continues, "I've always had an interest in it growing up, so I was wondering if you did too."
You chuckle quietly. "I wish I could say the same, but... I guess I found it intriguing at times."
"Surely you must have heard some stories though." He giggles at this, unclasping his hands together and propping himself right at the edge of the bed so that he's leaning forward, his masked face closer to yours. The dim light makes it hard to see his features clearly, and the shadows in the room seem to grow darker, more pronounced. "Are you familiar with the creature, the phoenix?"
You pause for a moment to think, before giving a slow, careful nod. "I've... definitely heard of it."
"The phoenix," he murmurs, voice a soft, hypnotic cadence. "It's a beautiful creature of rebirth and fire, isn't it?"
The mention of fire makes you shift slightly in your seat.
"Mr. Moon, I'm not entirely sure where you're𑁋"
You're interrupted as he leans even closer, his masked face now mere inches from yours, his dark eyes locking onto yours with an intense and unsettling focus. The shadows play tricks on your vision, making it feel like the walls are closing in on you.
"I just find it fascinating," he continues. "The idea of burning away the old and rising from the ashes anew. It's like a fresh start, a chance to be reborn. Do you believe in second chances, doctor?"
You swallow the lump in your throat. His intense gaze, shrouded by the mask, seems to hold you almost captive and confined to the chair you sat on, and his words seem to echo in the confined space.
"I... I believe that everyone deserves a chance to heal and grow, Mr. Moon," You respond carefully, trying to regain your composure. "But it's also important to work through the past before embracing the future."
He tilts his head slightly, as if considering your words. The room remains eerily quiet, the shadows deepening around you.
"Do you believe people can truly change?" he asks, voice softer now, almost pleading.
You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his question sitting right on your chest.
"I believe that change is possible, Mr. Moon," You reply gently, choosing your words with care. "People have the capacity to grow and evolve, and to make choices that lead to a more positive outlook. But this varies from person to person𑁋if they are willing to put in the effort to do so."
For a moment, the tension in the room seems to dissipate slightly. The shadows on the walls appear to retreat, and the dim light feels less suffocating.
"Doctor," he finally speaks, voice low despite only being the two of you in the room, like he's telling you a secret. "what if... those flames of the past have burned too brightly, leaving nothing but ashes behind?"
You furrow your brows. "I-I would say𑁋"
"It's what happened to me, doctor, don't you understand?" he snaps suddenly, standing up from the bed to step closer to you. "You can't possibly understand what it's like to fucking lose everything, to watch it all burn in front of your fucking eyes! This is why I did this𑁋I put my life into the phoenix. I burned what was left of me, and now I'm here, in this absolute hellhole."
"Mr. Moon, I need you to calm down, please𑁋"
There's a flash of anger that shoots through his eyes, the flame burning in his pupils brighter than before. The atmosphere grows tense in the snap of a finger, and you instinctively stand up to bring yourself in the direction of the door to the room, maintaining a safe distance, acutely aware of the limited space and the fact that you're alone with him. There's an emergency button within reach where you can call for help whenever needed.
You can't get yourself to respond, feeling frozen from the way you can feel your heart pounding anxiously in your chest from his close proximity. He takes a step back, his hands trembling slightly as he clenches and unclenches them. The room seems to regain a semblance of normalcy, but the tension still lingers in the air, and you still can't move.
You watch as he cowers back towards the bed, leaving you standing next to the door. You felt as if you've been holding your breath, like you were submerged underwater and your fight or flight instincts were kicking in.
"You won't give up on me, right, doctor?" he asks, and the way he says it so weakly, naively, makes your head spin. "You can trust me, right?"
You smooth out your white coat, placing yourself back down in the seat across from him anticipatingly.
"I... I trust you," You mutter meekly. "I won't give up on you."
The corner of his eyes crinkle again. He's smiling. You can see it through the mask.
"How lovely," he states sweetly. "We're on the right track, then."
"Y/N𑁋I mean Dr. L/N, are you okay?" Seokmin's voice comes up from behind as you walk yourself towards your office, feeling completely and utterly scatterbrained from the events of the past hour.
As Seokmin's voice reaches your ears, you take a deep breath to steady yourself. You turn to Seokmin and offer him a reassuring smile, though it doesn't quite reach your eyes, but seeing him in front of you already makes you feel a tad bit better.
"I'm fine, Seokmin, thank you." Your voice carries a hint of exhaustion and residual unease. "Just a challenging session, but I'm okay."
Seokmin just nods, but as you were about to turn around, he says, "If you... uh, ever need someone to talk to or anything, just know I'm here for you, okay? It can be tough, I've heard."
You smile gratefully at him, this time genuinely reaching your eyes. It feels like a breath of fresh air talking to him.
"Thank you," You tell him. "I might just have to take you up on that someday."
Seokmin scratches the back of his neck shyly and returns your smile with a warm one of his own. "Well, you know where to find me."
You stand still for a moment as Seokmin begins to dismiss himself away to resume his rounds, but just then, you feel a sudden idea pop up in your head.
"Seokmin, wait!" You exclaim after the man, who immediately turns around to the sound of your voice, peering at you worriedly. "Actually, there's something... Could you do me a favour?"
His eyes light up curiously. "Sure, what do you want me to do?"
You step up closer to him, looking around to ensure no one else was listening in.
"Can you help find me more information about the patient in 610?" You lean in, lowering your voice to a hushed tone. "I'd like to know more about his background, more than what's in his file right now, or just anything that might help me understand him better."
Seokmin raises a brow briefly but nods either way. "I'll see what I can do, Dr. L/N."
FLASHBACK: 2013
The rec room was buzzing with activity as you entered, giving a chance for patients to interact with others and engage in activities outside of their rooms. Laughter, conversation, and the occasional burst of youthful energy filled the air; it’s a striking comparison to the somber atmosphere of the individual therapy sessions you usually conducted.
As you glanced around to find Hui, you finally caught sight of the boy sitting alone at a table in the very corner of the room. He appeared seemingly engrossed on the piece of paper in front of him, an array of crayons sat on the table. His focus was so intense that he seemed completely oblivious to the world around him.
You approached Hui's table with a gentle smile. "Hui, how are you doing today?"
Hui looked up from his drawing, eyes meeting yours briefly. "I'm fine," he replied coldly. "Just drawing."
You glanced down at his artwork, which depicted a scene of fire and destruction. The flames consumed a house, while stick-figure people screamed in the windows, their tiny, distorted faces twisted in agony. The only colours there would be that of the orange and red gigantic flame that enveloped the jagged, blackened lines of the house.
"That's... quite a powerful drawing, Hui," You commented as you took a seat right next to him. "What made you choose this subject?"
He shrugged nonchalantly, eyes not leaving his paper. "It's just what I felt like drawing."
"Is this supposed to represent what happened to your family?"
Hui only continued to mindlessly colour his drawing, his crayon moving across the paper with deliberate strokes.
"Maybe," he replied stoically. "I saw it all happen, but I couldn't do anything."
You studied Hui's face for a moment, but his expression remained blank, his focus entirely on the drawing. His mien was calm, almost eerily so, in comparison to the disturbing scene of destruction right below his fingertips.
"Can you tell me more about what you saw, Hui?" You asked him.
He glanced at you briefly, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something in his eyes. But it was gone so quickly that you couldn't be sure if you had imagined it.
"I already told you," he pressed. "I saw the fire, and I watched everything burn. It wasn't my fault that it happened."
You nodded, acknowledging his words, and continued to watch him work on the drawing.
"Did you ever feel sad about what happened, Hui?" You questioned.
Hui's face only remained impassive as he answered, "It won't change anything."
You could only think about all the trauma he must have endured𑁋from losing his family and being the sole survivor of such a ruinous event, to having to deal with all the emotions at once that it must feel almost numbing inside of him.
"Did anyone help you during or after the fire, Hui?" You prodded calmly.
He still didn't look up from his drawing. "Some firefighters came, and they put out the fire. But they couldn't save my family."
You felt that pang of sympathy for Hui as he mentioned the firefighters' futile attempts to save his family all while he was waiting right outside the house. It was clear that the traumatic experience had locked his emotions away behind a stoic, desensitized façade.
"I'm sorry to hear about your family, Hui," You said softly. "It's completely okay to feel sad or angry about what happened."
Hui's hand paused briefly in its colouring, but he didn't look up. You glanced down to the paper, noticing that he was drawing something in the corner, almost appearing like some sort of bird, like some sort of crow or cardinal.
"I don't feel much about it anymore. It's just the way things are."
Your eyes drift from his drawing, concern deepening, but you understood that emotional numbing was a common coping mechanism for trauma survivors. In a way, it's like a protective shell around oneself to prevent further pain. The emotional scars ran deep, and sometimes, it was easier for them to keep their feelings at bay rather than confront the overwhelming grief and sorrow that lurked beneath the surface.
That is what you attributed with Hui𑁋what you always had when he first came here. And you promised him patience and that it took time to fully heal.
"I'll leave you be now, okay?" You stood up from the seat, giving the young boy a reassuring squeeze to the shoulder.
Hui doesn't respond, still engrossed in his drawing. You took a step back, leaving him to his artwork, and decided to check on some of the other children in the room for the time being.
You swore you could feel his eyes on you as you walked away.
PRESENT DAY: 2023
Your eyes are practically lasering holes right through the manila folder of Moon Jun's file.
The file only houses the basics𑁋his medical history, therapy notes, and observations from the staff. But there's something missing, something you can't quite put your finger on. His background information is limited, and there are no records of any family members or relatives listed. It's as if he appeared out of nowhere.
A knock on your office door makes you jump, and you quickly open your eyes to see Seokmin standing there with a stack of papers in his hands, concern etched on his face.
"Sorry, did I startle you?" he asks, stepping inside your office.
You offer a tired smile. "A bit, but it's okay. Come in."
Seokmin walks further into your office, closing the door lightly behind him. He takes a moment to study your expression, clearly noticing the exhaustion and frustration on your face. You let out a sigh and lean back in your chair, rubbing your temples with your fingertips as Seokmin sits down right across from you.
"So, I tried to do some digging, as you asked." Seokmin places the stack of papers on the desk. "It wasn't easy to look into his medical history, but I think this might be important."
You straighten up in your chair, your exhaustion momentarily forgotten as you lean in to examine the stack of papers Seokmin has brought. However, what you expected is to see information regarding him, but instead, you see news reports.
"I... I don't know if any of these can be related, but I found a few unsolved cases of arson over the years. It might be the cause of his facial scarring," Seokmin explains. "I think one of them happened at an orphanage, another at an abandoned warehouse nearby, and another at a small church a few miles from here."
You carefully pick up one of the articles and start to read the details. The article mentions a fire at an orphanage several years ago that resulted in the tragic loss of lives. The incident remained unsolved, with no clear cause identified. Then you come across another article about the fire at the warehouse, and it, too, was a case that had perplexed investigators, leaving it unsolved.
"...and I also think there was one about a family from around... nine? Ten years ago? I didn't read all the details of it, but I believe only one survived𑁋"
That's when you feel your heart drop all the way down to the ground, into the ground at that point, eyes widening as the gasp that leaves your mouth cuts Seokmin off. You're already standing up, fingers trembling, as you frantically shuffle through the articles he had provided for you.
"Where can I find that one? Is it here?"
Your adamancy surprises Seokmin as he scrambles through the papers before taking one out and offering it to you. You take the article from his hands. The paper is slightly crumpled, and the ink is faded, but the headline is still clear: "Family Tragedy Claims Lives, Sole Survivor Emerges."
The only survivor was a teenage boy, whose name was redacted from the article for privacy.
But you know exactly who it is.
The article describes how he had been found by the firefighters, huddled on the lawn outside the burning house, his eyes blank with shock. Authorities had attempted to investigate, but the case quickly went cold due to lack of evidence. It also mentions that the boy had lost his entire family that night and was assumed to be too traumatised to provide any coherent information about the fire's cause, which later caused him to be sent to a psychiatric facility due to the trauma.
"Doctor, what is this?" Seokmin interrupts your thoughts as he brings up another paper from view.
You glance up from the article to meet Seokmin's gaze, the urgency in his eyes mirroring your own. He unfolds it carefully, and as your eyes scan the headline, your heart sinks further: "Tragic Fire Engulfs Local Psychiatric Facility."
As you read through it, you swear you feel the same flames dancing up the skin of your arms. This article reports a fire that occurred exactly ten years ago at the very psychiatric facility where both you and Seokmin currently work. You were there that night. It was only your first year as a psychologist at the facility, still learning the ropes of your profession. The memories you've long tried to suppress come flooding back.
The sound of alarms blaring, the acrid smell of smoke, the frantic efforts to evacuate patients, and the feeling of utter helplessness as the flames consumed parts of the facility. It had left scars on your soul, scars you thought you had buried deep over the years.
That boy was one of your first ever patients.
Your arms are itching again, and you can almost feel the searing heat from that night a decade ago.
"Y/N, are you... are you okay?" Seokmin asks. You can see the worry in his eyes, but you're not sure if you can answer his question.
You swallow hard, your throat dry as you try to find your voice. "Yeah, I just... Sorry, reading this article, and..."
That's when Seokmin gets it. "Were you..." His eyes lower down to where one of your hands is clawing anxiously at the sleeves of your arm, and he immediately takes away the article from view. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I didn't know you were..."
You manage a weak smile as you bring your arms back down to your side, hugging yourself instead. "It's alright. You didn't know."
Seokmin doesn't seem entirely convinced, for a moment feeling stuck on what to say. "Are you sure that you're up for this? We can always𑁋"
"Yes," You say boldly. "It'll be okay."
You take a deep breath.
"I'll be okay."
"You seem troubled today, doctor."
In the dimly lit room, Moon Jun's observation is shrewd as always, whose calculating eyes seem to analyse every twitch of your expression as you both sit in the room together, right across from each other, with him hovering over you while you felt feeling like a cowering mouse trapped in a cage.
You flash him a faint, grateful smile. "I appreciate your concern, but let's focus back on you now, shall we?"
"Uh-uh, doctor," he taunts, crossing his arms together and shaking his head dismissively. Even in the darkness of the room, you swear you see his lips curl into a smirk under that damn mask of his. "If I'm not mistaken, you said at the very beginning that I have control over what I want to talk about in our sessions. I realise I hardly know anything about you! Isn't that funny? I consider you a dear friend, you know. You're the only person in this place who even makes the effort to talk with me."
The weight of his words suspend like a dense fog. You can hear the faint hum of the ventilation system, see the way the lone light fixture in the room seems to flicker intermittently. It plays tricks on your perception, making his features appear to morph and shift, all while his eyes are practically dissecting you.
"Friendship... is built on trust," You reply cautiously. "But our sessions are designed for your benefit. My role here is to help you, not the other way around, and my personal life is not relevant for this."
He leans in closer, his eyes never leaving yours, and you can feel his intense focus like a physical weight. You're caught in the gravitational pull of his eyes, his relentless gaze that seems to strip away your defenses. "But, doctor, how can you truly help me if you don't open up a little?"
He tilts his head, the mask inches away from your face, his eyes boring into yours.
"We could be more than what we are right now, couldn't we, doctor?" he whispers, feeling his cold breath against your skin even through the mask, and you close your eyes. "I could make you feel things you've never felt before𑁋"
"Stop! Please!" You yell out unexpectedly, hearing nothing but the unsteadiness of your breaths and the echo of your own voice in the dim room. Your eyes snap back open; he's not hovering over you, and the disturbing scenario you had just experienced was nothing more than a figment of your imagination.
Instead, Moon Jun is calmly seated away from you, watching you intently from the bed. There's a curious glint in his eyes, one that suggests he's found your reaction to be rather... entertaining.
"Doctor, you do seem to be quite troubled today," he remarks almost playfully, voice dripping with amusement that shoots goosebumps up your skin. "Seeing things, aren't we?"
You can't quite find the words to respond, and the sensation of his cold breath against your skin still lingers in your memory.
"You must think about me a lot, day and night possibly, if you imagine such things," he teases, and you feel the way his words crawl under your skin. "You probably wonder what lies behind this mask of mine, don't you? You're a special friend𑁋perhaps you deserve to see it."
You watch the way his gloved fingers toy with the edges of his mask, and for a moment, it seems like he's contemplating something. The room is so silent that you can hear your own heart pounding in your chest.
Then without warning, he reaches up and slowly starts to peel off the mask, revealing the face hidden beneath. Your breath catches in your throat as his visage is unveiled.
His face is tainted by a network of scars, the skin tissue looking raw and discoloured. The scars extend from his jawline up to his cheeks and forehead, giving his face an almost grotesque and nightmarish appearance. Some scars look like they were caused by something sharp, while others appear more like burns. There were also some that seemed almost... fresher than others. His lips, once hidden by the mask, are twisted into a smirk that sends shivers down your spine.
"You wanted to see, didn't you, doctor?" he asks, voice low and taunting. "You wanted to know what's behind this mask."
You can't tear your gaze away from his disfigured face, and you're overwhelmed by a mix of curiosity, horror, and a strange fascination.
"Are you surprised, doctor?" he continues, voice now tinged with mockery. "Do I look like a monster to you?"
You can't seem to respond just yet, eyes still peering over him as if trying to discern the features of his face. There's this wave of familiarity that seems to hit you, as if you've seen those certain details before. A nagging feeling tugs at the corners of your memory like a half-forgotten dream.
You squint, trying to connect the dots between the disfigured face before you and the dim recollection buried deep within your mind. The way the scars twist and curl, the faint traces of burn marks𑁋it's all so eerily and hauntingly familiar. You swear you've seen those eyes before. He watches your expression closely, as if he can read your thoughts, and those eyes that seem to follow your every move, your every thought𑁋
And then it hits you. It hits you like a freight train on the tracks that was beyond avoidable. It hits you like a tidal wave crashing against the shore of your conscience, leaving wreckage to be abandoned and forgotten forever in its wake. It hits you like a thunderstorm tearing apart a peaceful, sunny day.
"Hui...?" is all you manage to choke out.
Images from the past flash before your eyes𑁋Hui, the young boy you once knew, whose face was marked with troubled innocence and a haunting vulnerability that had drawn you to him in the first place. You had watched him grow, had nurtured the fragile trust he had placed in you. You recall your early sessions together, hearing all the painful details of the fire that had torn his life apart.
His smirk deepens, and his eyes gleam with an uncanny satisfaction.
"Hui died ten years ago, doctor," he says with a cold, haunting certainty. "He died in that same fire that set this place ablaze. I'm sure you remember that very well, don't you?"
The room seems to close in on you, and the memories of that fateful night come rushing back like a torrential downpour. The fire, the chaos, the screams. It had been a nightmarish scene, etched into your memory like the faint scars that plague your arms from that very night.
But before you could respond, you felt something vibrate in your pocket. It's the end of your session.
FLASHBACK: 2013
The fire alarm rang.
It was blaringly loud, completely jolting you out of your chair in the silence that carried through your office. Your heart raced as the panic had begun to sink in, the blood-red light of the alarm painted the muted colours of your office walls with a surreal, macabre-like glow, and the acrid scent of smoke was beginning to fill your lungs.
You reached for the door handle, but your trembling hands fumbled, and it wouldn't budge. You tried again and again, the cold sweat on your palms making it even more difficult to grip.
"Wh-What the hell?" You shakily muttered to yourself, before bringing your fists up to pound on the door. "Hello? Someone help me! I'm in here! Someone!"
The panic intensified as the fire alarm continued its relentless wail as you continued to pound on the door. Smoke started to seep in from the edges of your office door, and you could feel the heat of the flames approaching. You coughed, choking on the sharp fumes that stung your throat. It felt like the walls were closing in on you. Fuck, fuck, what do you do? How the hell was the fire spreading so fast?
You were trapped. You were going to die.
The windows! You remembered the windows. Desperation drove you to the large window on the wall. Instinctively, you grabbed a chair and used it to break it, the sound of shattering glass ringing in your ears, the shards grazing against your skin and the palm of your hands, making you let out a sharp gasp. Blood trickled from the cuts on your hands, and as you peered down to the ground below, you realised that you were too high above the ground for a safe jump.
The fire was only getting closer and closer.
As you hesitated by the shattered window, a muffled voice from the hallway reached your ears. "Is anyone in there? We're trying to get you out!"
Your eyes widened as you stumbled back to the door. "I'm in here! Please help!"
"Step back! We're breaking down the door!"
You stepped back from the window as much as you could and away from the smoke, feeling the flames inching closer. Your vision blurred as you fought to breathe, eyes stinging with tears from the dry air.
Moments later, a loud crash resounded through the room as the door burst open. A group of firefighters rushed in, their protective gear making them look like otherworldly figures emerging from the haze. They quickly located you, wrapped you in a fire-resistant blanket, and led you to safety.
Once you were outside, an emergency medical team checked you over for any injuries, plastered up your arms, and administered oxygen. You were shaken, bruised, and suffering from smoke inhalation, but you were alive. Somehow. In some way.
Then, you found your mind drifting back to Hui. Did he manage to get out safely? Where was he? Questions swirled in your mind as you watched the firefighters work tirelessly to contain the blaze. God, he must not be in the right state of mind after witnessing yet another fire himself.
"Excuse me..." You weakly called out to a paramedic, voice barely a whisper.
The paramedic turned to you, concern etched on their face beneath their protective gear. "Yes, are you okay?"
You swallowed hard, barely getting your words together. "I was in there... in the building. I have some patients... uh... Do you know if they made it out? I need to know if they're safe."
The paramedic exchanged a glance with another passing colleague, eyes hidden behind their mask, before returning back to you and shaking their head.
"We're still searching for survivors and dealing with the fire," they explained. "We can't give you any information right now. I'm truly sorry. I'll let them know to keep a lookout. Can you describe them for me?"
You described what your other patients and what Hui looked like as much as you could, and the emergency worker took down all the information before walking away to tend to others.
The silence that followed was suffocating, perhaps even more than what you endured inside the building, and you found it difficult to hold back tears of frustration from flowing down your face.
As the smoke gradually dissipated and the flames were brought under control, the once-deafening alarm was reduced to sporadic chirps and the occasional distant rumble of falling debris. The scene around you was one of destruction, merely charred remains of a place that was filled with hope and healing.
You glanced down at your trembling, injured hands and arms and see the cuts from the shattered window, yet the physical pain was nothing compared to the anguish in your heart, and the fear and guilt that gnawed at you. You lost patients whom you had sworn to protect, had sworn𑁋no, promised to heal.
It was only when the search and rescue teams began to wind down their efforts that you realised the search for Hui had come with no results. All of your other patients were safe, but him. There was no sign of him anywhere, as if he slipped off the face of the earth.
A firefighter approached you some time later, his face covered in soot appearing both exhausted and empathetic.
"I'm sorry," he spoke, voice heavy with regret and defeat. "We've searched every area we could access, but we haven't found anyone else. The fire was intense, and... I'm truly sorry."
His words hit you like a hammer blow, and you felt your heart sink even further. You had dedicated your life to saving others, and yet it seemed that you might have failed to save one.
"Thank... Thank you for trying," You mumbled to the firefighter, nodding in acknowledgement. "And thank you for risking your lives to save us."
PRESENT DAY: 2023
The clouds outside obscure any hints of sunlight, and the overcast sky casts a sad, grey hue over the world outside. The room feels dim and lonely despite the overhead lights. You try to ignore that particular gnawing feeling to your skin as you sit at your desk, waiting for your next session with Moon Jun to start. It'll happen anytime now𑁋perhaps the more you anticipate will make time go by slower.
However your thoughts are interrupted by the soft knock at your door, and you look up to see Seokmin standing there. He offers you a warm smile as you motion for him to come inside, and you swear you see small ray of sunshine break through the clouds outside at the corner of your eye.
"Hey, how're you holding up?" he asks. "I wanted to check up on you."
You tilt your head a bit giddily at the sight of him. "We just had lunch break together, Seokmin."
He rolls his eyes at this, scratching the back of his neck bashfully. "I know, I know, but I... Well, is there a rule here that says I can't see you twice in one day when we're not working?"
Your lips purse together thoughtfully. "I guess not."
"Good." He grins, but it's quick to fade once he takes another look at you. "so... how have you been?"
The soft concern in Seokmin's voice is almost like a comforting hug for your ragged nerves. Normally it's your duty to ask your patients those kinds of questions, not the other way around. You offer him a tired but appreciative smile as he settles into the chair across from your desk. It's a rare moment when the roles are reversed, even if it's just for one short minute.
"You look tired," Seokmin points out, and it makes you let out a chuckle, even though it's tinged with weariness.
"You have a good eye, Seokmin," You reply playfully, and he blushes at this. "Do you want to know what I've been dreaming about the past few weeks?
Seokmin thinks about it for a second, then his eyes widen slightly.
"Is it... the fire?" he queries, hoping there's that small chance he might be wrong.
Your steady gaze meets his.
"Yes," You admit casually. "It's always the fire."
Or specifically, it's the fire and the guilt that you weren't able to save anyone, and it had been eating away at you ever since that fateful day.
His face softens at this, then he feels himself hesitate for a brief moment, before slowly reaching out to place his hand over yours on the desk. His touch is warm and reassuring, and you can feel the genuine concern in his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry you have to go through that, I wish there was a way I could... you know, stop you from reliving those kinds of things." His words make your lips twitch upwards, and he knows he's done something right. He finishes your smile with one of his own. "But... you're not alone in this. Just know I'm here."
"You've been helping me this entire time, Seokmin," You assure him. "If anything, I should be the one thanking you."
The weight of all the memories and unhealed scars left behind still cling to you like shadows. But in the presence of Seokmin, the burdens seem a little lighter, the darkness a bit less suffocating. The room seems a bit less lonely as you both sit there, just like all the days you eat lunch together where you seem to look forward to seeing him sit with you, and the sound of the clock ticking on the wall serves as a reminder that time keeps moving forward.
Before you know it, it's as if you've been struck by a gong that you could only hear, and you knew it was time to move forward with your session. You take your hand away from Seokmin as you stand up, and he follows suit.
"Y/N, wait, um..." Seokmin stops you before you could leave, and you turn back to him. "If something bad happens, or if you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out to me, even outside of work. I... want to make sure you're okay."
His words warm your heart, and you shoot him a thankful look.
"I know I can," You say, while opening the door to the outside of your office. "Thank you, Seokmin."
When you enter inside room 610, you spot Moon Jun sitting on the chair that you were supposed to sit in, his posture relaxed and arms crossed almost impatiently. He didn't wear the mask on his face, and he appeared confident, somewhat smug. It was the only other chair in the room. The other place for you to sit would be... the bed. This isn't how a typical therapy session begins.
"Doctor, I was just thinking about you!" he exclaims excitedly. "Please, go ahead and sit down on the bed. I thought it would be great to change things up a little. You wouldn't mind, would you?"
You hesitate for a moment, glancing between him and the bed. Maintaining your professionalism, you make your way to the bed and sit down, folding your hands in your lap. Something brushes against your leg for a moment, you look down to see a sheet of paper sitting next to you, and a plethora of crayons resting on top.
"Please bare with me for the mess, I was busy drawing before you came in," he tells you, voice almost cheery and... delighted?
As you sit on the bed, his demeanour only raises more questions than answers. He appears unusually relaxed, and his eagerness is disturbing. It's unlike him.
"Of course, that's fine with me," You tell him casually.
There's a grin that spreads across his scarred face, and it brings an uncomfortable twist to your stomach, but you don't let it show, though at this point you feel that he can sense your nervousness, your unease, knowing there's history between you two you thought to have burned away in the back of your mind.
Yet it had all come back just like his reemergence back into your life𑁋into something more sinister.
"He talks to me sometimes, even though he's perished in the flames," Jun begins, grabbing the paper right next to you. "You remember his drawings, right? Back in that big, bright room... where beneath all those smiles of the other patients was just... hopelessness."
Then he flips the paper over, and you find yourself peering at a drawing of flames, and the uncanny similarity to Hui's artwork all those years ago cannot be ignored. You see the same vivid depiction of flames, the swirling reds and oranges dancing on the page, and the black lines of its remains. But more than that, it's the emotions that these drawings evoke, the overwhelming sense of dread, and the traumatic memories that it unsheathes. He's the personification of the fire that scarred you all those years ago.
You feel a lump form in your throat. "Hui..."
"I-I am not Hui!" he wails out unexpectedly, voice shaking with anger. His hand grips the crayon so tightly that it snaps in his grasp, the colour streaking across the paper. "Hui is dead, remember? Burned by the flames?"
"If you're not Hui, then who are you?" You ask almost pleadingly.
His fingers toy with the broken crayon as he leans in closer, his disfigured face mere inches from yours. His gaze pierces through you like a knife, and in the dimly lit room, the shadows play tricks on his scarred face, making his disfigurement seem even more malformed.
"The phoenix, don't you remember, doctor?" He chuckles lowly. "It's a creature reborn from the ashes of its own destruction, risen from the flames just like me. Rebirth and fire, doctor! You haven't been paying attention, have you?"
You sense the panic seeping inside you, causing your heart to race. His words send shivers down your spine, and you realise that he's explaining with a belief that goes beyond mere delusion, beyond repair. The scars on his face are only a fraction of the damage done. He claims to have risen from the ashes, taking on a new identity, giving him this motive of... cleaning the world with fire.
Cleaning the world...
...with fire.
Ashes of its own destruction....
"You..." You slowly rise up from the bed, the room suddenly feeling too confining. The door seemed like it was miles away, and you find your breathing shaky and unsteady. "You were... you caused those fires, didn't you?"
His eyes fixate and narrow down on you as you stand up from the bed, and a sly smile spreads across his scarred face. His gaze is intense, and you feel like you're trapped. You recall the sessions you had with him years ago that you thought were leading him toward healing. But now, you face a man who has fully embraced a twisted ideology.
"I didn't cause those fires," he responds with eerie calmness. "I simply set things in motion."
"You𑁋You killed innocent people, you were the one... from ten years ago... You𑁋"
"They were all lost, meaningless, and I brought meaning to their lives. What's so hard to understand?" he deadpans.
"You killed your family," You state. "How can... how can you justify that?"
"Hui killed his family, I didn't," he claims, crumpling up the piece of paper in his hands. "Hui started all of this, I'm merely just a follower. He was misunderstood his entire life, and you promised him healing, which you didn't fulfill."
The room feels like it's boiling you alive, and you're stuck in an endless maze of his twisted delusions. There's a sense of helplessness as you try to reach through to the man behind the scars, the one who once sought your help, but you fear that he's too far gone.
"Jun, this isn't the answer. The… the phoenix is not real,” You plead, your voice trembling. "Hui was troubled, yes, but violence is not the path to understanding or redemption. It only leads to more pain and destruction."
His expression only hardens as he throws the crumpled up piece of paper on the floor, gloved hands forming fists at his side.
"You think you can help people by sitting in your comfy chair, listening to their problems, and scribbling notes on a fucking notepad." He scoffs annoyedly, leaning back in his chair. "You're just like all the others, doctor, so dumb and worthless. You never understood... You say that you do, but you don't."
And just as you were about to speak, you watch him pull something out of the pocket of his patient gown. You squint your eyes, and a gasp shudders out of you when you notice what's in his hands.
A lighter.
"You people are just so gullible, all while you're thinking you're helping," he mutters, flicking the lighter on. The tiny flame dances at the tip, casting bizarre shadows across his scarred face. "When in reality, you're laughing behind our backs with your stupid cigarettes and your fancy degrees. You wouldn't believe the things you can find in a place like this. It's amazing what people leave lying around."
There's an arrow that penetrates through your heart, an arrow of betrayal, helplessness. How can he think of you this way when you dedicated your entire time to helping him heal all those years ago? How can he, of all people, not see that your intentions were always to provide support and understanding?
You can feel the room heating up, not just from the small flame but from the growing tension. Jun's eyes are locked onto the flickering fire of the lighter, and his words are plagued with bitter resentment. You attempt to scurry to the door, but he blocks your way, nearly shoving the flame of the lighter in your face.
"Don't you see how beautiful this is, doctor?" he utters in a trance-like state, as if the flame was hypnotising him. The orange and yellow hues reflect onto his soulless eyes. He moves the lighter dangerously close to your face, and you can feel the searing heat radiating from the tiny inferno at the tip of your nose.
Your heart pounds like a beating drum, beads of sweat form on your forehead, and your breathing quickens as panic threatens to engulf you. But his gaze only remains possessed on the fire, as if he's being consumed by the very flames he holds in his hands.
"It's so beautiful how something so small can hold so much power," he murmurs, voice barely more than a whisper.
"This... This isn't the way to find meaning or healing," You respond, slowly backing away from him, trying to create some distance between the flame and yourself. "Fire and destruction only lead to more suffering, more pain. It's not the answer, Jun."
For a split second, something flickers in Jun's eyes, as if a fragment of his former self tries to break free from the shackles of his obsession. But it's a fleeting moment, quickly devoured by his fixation on the fire.
"There are... There are people who want to help you. Don't you remember all of our sessions together? All the... all the breakthroughs we had? You were making progress, Jun. You were on your way to healing." You bring your hand up as if in defense, watching him closely as he steps the tiniest inch closer to you. "I... I want to help you, I always have. I..."
He stares at you, and for a moment, it seems like your words might be getting through to him.
"Let me help you, Hui."
But just when you think your words may have struck a chord, his face contorts into a menacing grin and you can see the flame reflect onto his eyes. The last fragile thread of sanity that seemed to linger has snapped.
"You failed Hui that night, just like you failed me." He chuckles darkly. "You couldn't save us. Do you really think you can save everyone, doctor? Do you really think all the patients you've helped all these years are any better off now?"
Now, you found yourself speechless, a tight grip around your throat from his words.
He laughs coldly, waving the flame in front of your face once more. "You're so blind, doctor. You want to heal and save everyone, but you can't save me, and you can't save yourself. I can see it in your eyes."
He’s getting in your head, you know he is. He's trying to loosen your grip on whatever reality is𑁋attempting to unravel in your mind that you were, in some way, responsible for the events that had occurred over the years, forcing you to succumb to the guilt placed on your shoulders. You've never dealt with someone so deeply rooted to their own twisted reality. You can't reason with him.
It's impossible.
But you refuse to be the victim of your own past just like you had made yourself to be.
"Junhui," You call out urgently, and the use of his real name brings a harsh, foreign taste to your tongue. You notice the way he flinches slightly to it. "That person still exists inside you𑁋I-I know it does. Please, let that part of you come back. I'm here to listen, to understand, and to help. No matter what you believe."
The flame continues to sway at the end of the lighter, yet his face remains deformed into that unsettling grin, but your words seem to have given him a momentary pause.
"You think you can bring him back?" he hisses, bringing the flame away from your face, stretching his arm out toward the side. "He's dead, doctor. It's too late."
And with that, he tosses the lighter in the direction of the bed, and a cascade of flames quickly engulf the sheets, the crayons, the drawing, everything. Horror sets in as you watch the fire rapidly spreading, consuming the room, and overhead the fire alarm screams into action.
"Isn't it beautiful, doctor?" he guffaws as the flames devour the room, eyes wide with awe. "It's so perfect... So beautiful..."
Nothing but Jun's laughter fills the air as he watches the flames lick up the once-white walls with a maniacal fascination. The flames flicker and crackle loudly, casting shifting shadows on the walls of the room. You dart towards the door, but the intense heat and smoke make it nearly impossible to breathe or see, and you cover your mouth and nose with your hand. Coughing and vision disoriented, you stumble and hit the floor with a thud, weakly pounding your fists against the door.
"Someone help!" You shout desperately, the words barely escaping your mouth. "Someone help! I-I'm in here! Anyone, please!"
The room is suffocating you whole. You can hardly even see where Jun is amidst all the smoke, yet his laughter still rings in your ears, fogging away all your thoughts. You keep pounding on the door, voice hoarse from shouting, skin tingling with heat, but there's no response from the other side.
So this is how you're going to die, You think to yourself, leaning back against the wall like you were accepting your fate, and the thought makes you chuckle at the irony.
Time seems to stretch into eternity. But just when it feels like all hope is lost, the door bursts open, and a strong hand reaches in, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the room and into the chaotic corridor. In the corridor, the fresh air is quick to fill up your lungs. You gasp for breath, your heart racing, while the fire alarm continues to blare.
It's Seokmin who pulled you from the room, and you can hardly make out his face from your stinging, watery eyes. He wraps a protective arm around you as you both stumble away from the dangerous room, mixing with the rushing crowd of staff and patients all being guided outside to their safety.
"Y/N, are you okay?! Stay with me!" Seokmin continues to pull you through the corridor, shielding you from anything that you might run into.
You only manage a weak nod, still coughing from all the smoke. Your mind is racing, and you can hardly tell where you were going, but you trust Seokmin's guidance as he leads you further away from the scene of the fire. The sounds of sirens and shouting surround you, and the sight of the smoke floating out from the room you just escaped haunts your thoughts.
When the brightness of the outside hits your eyes, you catch your breath and fall out of Seokmin's grasp and down to the ground. Firefighters and police officers quickly brush past you and into the building as Seokmin pulls you up once more to lead you in the direction of the paramedics and ambulances.
"Here, sit down." Seokmin places you on the stair of the ambulance and helps you out of your white coat before wrapping a blanket around you. "Can we get some help over here?"
A paramedic approaches, checking you over and providing oxygen to help clear your lungs of all the smoke you inhaled. Your heart is still pounding in your chest as you sit there, trying to process what just happened.
Seokmin places himself right next to you, scanning over your features closely. You look over at him, and he gives you a reassuring smile, pushing away some disheveled strands of hair so he could properly see your face.
"You're going to be okay," he assures you, rubbing some comforting circles on your back. "Just take deep breaths and try to relax. They'll take you to the hospital to make sure you're alright."
You give him a nod, feeling a bit more security from him than the blanket draped over your shoulders right now. The two of you sit there for a few minutes, calmly watching the chaos begin to subside. It didn't look like the fire damaged much in terms of the outside of the building.
"I'm going to see if I could help around," Seokmin says, standing up. "Just stay here, okay? I'll be back before they take you to the hospital."
Just as he begins to walk away, you hesitate for a second, before calling out his name, "Hey, Seokmin?"
He turns back to you, a look of concern in his eyes. "Yes? Do you need something?"
You reach out your hand toward Seokmin, silently gesturing for him to come closer. He approaches, and without a word, you pull him into a tight hug. You feel him freeze in your grasp, before his arms fully encircle you in return, tightening the hug, and for a moment, the world around fades away as you hold onto each other. You can feel his heart beat a bit faster than normal against your chest, but you don't acknowledge it, and neither does he.
Eventually, you reluctantly pull away from the hug, but you don't let go of Seokmin's hand just yet.
"Thank you," You whisper. "for everything."
His gaze softens as he looks at you, before glancing away shyly. It makes you chuckle.
"No need to," he tells you. "I'm... I'm just happy you're safe."
The two of you stay like that for a moment, with you closing your eyes to steady your breathing while Seokmin continues to hold your hand, and you can feel the tension in your body slowly easing.
Seokmin's smile is warm, and he squeezes your hand gently. "I'll be back soon, okay? Just hang in there."
With that, he leaves your side to assist the emergency responders, leaving you seated on the ambulance's stairs, wrapped in a blanket. Your brows furrow together, trying to make sense of the situation and all the events that just transpired. The fear, the confusion, the mania that gripped the lost man back in that room𑁋it all swirls within your mind. The lingering scent of smoke fills your nose, and you swear and you can still feel the heat on your skin even though the air was cool outside.
As you sit there, lost in thought, suddenly feeling disconnected from the world around you, you find yourself questioning the nature of your profession and everything you ever believed about it. Could you have done something differently? Were there signs you missed that might have prevented this particular descent in delusion? Was he right, and you were blind this entire time? Not just for him, but for everyone you've helped?
Were you really this dumb and worthless?
Or perhaps was it impossible to save him this entire time...
...and he was too far gone?
That hefty burden of guilt, both for your inability to help him in the past and in the present, weighs heavily on your shoulders. What's for sure is that this will forever be an image tainted in your mind, scarred just like the man who brought destruction and chaos to your life today, and that particular day ten years ago.
You don't know how long you sat there until Seokmin returns, yet when he comes up to you, his face appears disturbed and... paranoid?
"They've got the fire under control. It didn't spread much farther than the room," he informs you, catching his breath. "It seems like nobody else was hurt."
"That's good to hear." Your eyes roam over his features, taking in the tense expression to his face. "Is... is everything okay? How about..."
He sits down beside you, expression still apprehensive. You can see the flicker of concern in his eyes, and the remnants of the chaos from moments ago are still evident in the way he holds himself. His gaze meets yours, and you notice a small shift in his demeanour, as if there's something he's struggling to express.
Seokmin darts his attention around, as if making sure no one was listening in, before taking a deep breath and leaning in.
"They... They said they didn't find his body in the room," he mutters, and it's so quiet you hardly make out what he says. "It's... It's like he escaped."
Your heart drops. A sinking feeling settles in your chest. Dread washes over you at his words.
"W-What?"
another another note: sorry if u expected some sort of romance w jun (which would kinda be weird for the story tbh), but feel free to imagine whatever u want w our dear seokmin. cgrats on making it to the end of the longest oneshot i’ve made so far on this blog 😍🫶
taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @rubywonu @etherealyoungk
#kflixnet#k-labels#caratsland#seventeen imagines#seventeen angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen fic#seventeen dark fic#seventeen x reader#jun imagines#jun angst#jun dark fic#jun fic#jun fluff#jun x reader#wen junhui imagines#wen junhui angst#wen junhui fluff#wen junhui dark fic#wen junhui fic#wen junhui x reader#svt imagines#svt x reader#svt fic#svt dark fic
454 notes
·
View notes
Text
cw. dacryphilia, gn! reader, oral (male! receiving), sub! alhaitham
you‘re conveniently going down on alhaitham, barefacedly driveling over his cock when crowned with his large girth splitting your mouth, you please him, most definitely, with your mushy lips safely enclosed around his drumming dick. But then— here and there, in between his burning fervent whines, the racing pleasure had stopped when you seized your mouth off to let go of him with an ear-piercing pop, his cock slicked up resting on his stomach.
you maneuver your face closer to your inarguable mess of a boyfriend— correctly speaking to his pouted lips, to kiss him, specifically so he can taste himself and get flustered until the tip of his ears primarily dusk with crimson, so he roughly groans into your warm mouth, from the penetrating flavor of himself taking over his goddamn mind.
in due course, you want more— had planned for it to become even dirtier, further forcing your messy tongue past his lips to have his stabbing scent evermore ruminate through his nostrils while you decide that, bluntly stated, you still weren't done with him, not when it appeared that handsome alhaitham, the oh so prestigious acting grand sage, was about to cry from the spurting arousals in his groin— your palm now, was on his cock to fiercely jerk him off while having him moan into your mouth, his throat in shackles, futile wordings bottled up— and oh? are those little tears pearling from his eyes, good, tremendously ego boosting, but, call it an insatiable hunger, you still wanted more, apprised that he can give it to you.
©2023 anantaru do not share, copy, translate any of my work
#genshin smut#alhaitham smut#genshin impact smut#al haitham smut#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#al haitham x reader#𖤣𖤥𖠿𖤣𖤥 thirsts'#genshin impact x reader#tw dacryphilia#gn! reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Work of Heart by Witch_Nova221
Work of Heart
by Witch_Nova221 (@witchnova221)
T, 17k, Wangxian
Part of the MDZS Secret Santa 2023
Summary: Lan Zhan is challenged by Lan Qiren to survive on a simple budget, rather than the family fortune, for his final year of university. He finds himself a apartment share with art student, Wei Ying, and they slowly become friends. As their relationship grows though, he learns more about his roommate's family situation and the true reason why he is always so busy.
Kay's comments: A truly sweet and lovely story, filled with fluff and a hint of angst for the seasoning! I absolutely loved the fast burn between Wangxian and that there were no misunderstandings between them, just love and care and so much sweetness! Also, living for supportive uncle Lan Qiren in this story and the re-appearing dunks on Lan Huan's dating life. In this story, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying live together during their final year at university and immediately fall for each other. Everything would have been perfect for Wei Ying, if it wasn't for Yu Ziyuan making unreasonable demands of him!
Excerpt: Living with Wei Ying was an experience.
There were days when Lan Zhan believed it was the worst mistake he had ever made. Days when he was tripping over the discarded shoes that never made it into the rack or found himself completing two loads of washing up when Wei Ying had forgotten again that their chore chart existed. Other days though, he could not wish for a better companion, Wei Ying teaching him how to laugh at himself and how to talk of everything and nothing where before Lan Zhan had kept to his own company.
His favourite evenings were the ones where he would bring his qin into the living room and play the latest piece he had been composing whilst Wei Ying would set up an easel and canvas and paint to the music Lan Zhan created. It was a joy to watch as his music was brought to life in colour and movement, the paintings as unique and beautiful as the artist that created them.
pov lan wangji, modern setting, modern no powers, college/university, roommates, artist wei wuxian, musician lan wangji, college student wei wuxian, college student lan wangji, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, getting together, developing relationship, love confessions, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, yu ziyuan being an asshole, emotional manipulation, good uncle lan qiren, good sibling jiang cheng, good sibling jiang yanli, blackmail
~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
#Wangxian Fic Rec#The Untamed#Wangxian#MDZS#Kay's Rec#MDZS Secret Santa 2023#January 2023#Work of Heart#Teen#medium fic 15k-49k#Witch_Nova221#pov lan wangji#modern setting#modern no powers#college/university#roommates#artist wei wuxian#musician lan wangji#college student wei wuxian#college student lan wangji#strangers to lovers#friends to lovers#getting together#developing relationship#love confessions#emotional hurt/comfort#angst with a happy ending#yu ziyuan being an asshole#emotional manipulation#good uncle lan qiren
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
Crash and Burn | Chapter 11
Summary: You’re the first female driver to compete in the Formula 1 World Championship in decades and it's your second year of navigating through a male-dominated sport. Your talent and drive to prove yourself made you vicious on the grid. Your seemingly unshakeable confidence was never questioned- until a certain Ferrari driver made you crash and burn.
Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader
Chapters: 11/11
Warnings: swearing
Word Count: 4.6k
Posted on: 05/25/2023
masterlist
A/N: The final chapter is finally here. I am so sorry for the wait. I wanted to make sure that it was all wrapped up and cute and fluffy just for you guys. Thank you so so much for taking the time to read whatever I write. I appreciate every single one of your comments. It was so fun writing for Carlos and a driver reader.
Finally, after many years in Formula One, Carlos Sainz had gotten his first pole position here in Silverstone. He cheers and scrambles out of the car and immediately gets congratulated by Charles and Max. He couldn’t believe it. After years of hard work, he has finally gotten the best chance to win a Grand Prix. He was thrumming with excitement and disbelief, he still couldn’t believe it even when they started interviewing him. Once finished, he walks back to the pitlane and is met with a flurry of kisses.
“P1! P1! P1!” you chanted. “Babe, you did it!”
You give him a crushing hug and he returns the favor. It’s been almost 2 months since the accident and he was finally comfortable enough to hold you as tight as he wanted.
“I didn’t expect it! I thought I was doing bad out there.”
You give him a peck on the cheek. “This is your weekend, Carlos. You can do this!”
You and Carlos part ways only to have him meet you in Aston Martin hospitality so you could drive together back to your place. You offered to let him stay in your apartment for the British Grand Prix so Carlos let his parents have his hotel room.
After a shower, you and Carlos lounged in your living room trying to decompress as much as possible. Dinner was cooking in the oven and you leaned on Carlos as you both sipped on your electrolyte drinks. The night before the race was essential and your performance coaches were adamant that you send pictures of everything you ate and drank. Rupert and Anna were so used to staying by your side and monitoring everything, but to give you two privacy, they resorted to constant messaging making sure you were prepping for the race. The oven dings and you pull out the baked salmon, roasted vegetables, and baked sweet potato. You send the text to the group chat and place your phone face down on the kitchen counter.
Despite seeing Carlos almost every week, it didn’t mean you got to spend much time alone. It was one of the busiest parts of the season and you were always in meetings, needed for simulators, and doing things for media and promotions. The only times you would interact was a quick kiss if you happened to pass by, sometimes you couldn’t even see each other at the end of the day because you were too tired. You and Carlos were always surrounded by other people, so times like this were precious because you were finally alone.
Carlos joins you on the kitchen island and helps you set up the plates and utensils. The last time you were doing something domestic was back in your apartment in Monaco. While you were eating dinner, you made Carlos do some manifesting with you. He rolled his eyes but did it anyway, he would do anything to make you happy. You qualified for P7 so Carlos included you and manifested that you would find your way to third place and share the podium with him. While you would love to, you had Charles, the Red Bulls, and Mercedes to worry about. You know you would have more podiums to come but it was Carlos who needed this. He wasn’t having the best season, and you wanted this to boost his confidence.
You both wake up from a restful sleep and immediately start your race day routines. You and Carlos drive over to the hotel where Pierre and Yuki were staying to have breakfast with them. You were still a little superstitious about it so you never missed race day breakfast with Pierre. So far, everything was going alright, you and the boys safely made it to the circuit and split up to go to find your teams.
It’s a few hours before the race and you are sitting in Aston Martin hospitality sipping on your electrolyte drink while you contemplate your life. Two months ago, everything was seemingly falling apart. Your relationship with Carlos was on the line and you were in one of the most ridiculous scandals in all of motorsport. You were in a huge car crash but were able to walk away and recover from your injuries. It’s so strange to look back and see how different your life was. Now, you and Carlos are happier than ever and you have just signed a contract to continue your next two years in Formula One with Aston Martin. Life finally seemed normal again and that scared you.
If things are good, then something bad is bound to happen. You know that’s a horrible mindset to have but after the accident, you’ve been having trouble staying positive. You find yourself paranoid that you would lose every good thing in your life. Carlos knows how you feel and he does his best to be there for you but he was busy too, so you did your best to keep these thoughts to yourself. Anna set you up with a therapist and you’ve listened to the advice she’s giving you. You’ve been getting better at staying positive, this is why you made sure to take some time every day to think about the good things in life. Like in this moment where you just sit and people watch. Aston Martin’s hospitality doors were constantly opening and each person was just as interesting. There were the new interns who would shyly look at you, one of Seb’s engineers who was always nervous, and the guys from your pit crew who were all pumped up and waved at you.
The rest of the day was a blur as your anxiety increasingly spiked. You wanted this win for Carlos and it was beginning to affect you to the point Anna made you go for a quick run to shake off some of your nerves. It helped for a little bit but by the time you were in your car and doing the formation lap, you were buzzing with anticipation.
You breathe deeply and do your best to get into the racing mindset. Once all the lights turn off, you send it. You had a fantastic start when you heard the screech of metal from behind you. You whip your head to see one of the Alfa Romeo’s careening past your car. You start swearing when you notice they are upside down. You had already driven too far but you looked in your side mirror to see they crashed into the fence.
“Holy shit! Who was that?” you yell into the radio.
“Red Flag. Red Flag. Proceed to the pitlane.”
You start breathing heavily. “Who was that? Valtteri? Guanyu?”
“It was Guanyu. We don’t have information yet, make your way to the pitlane.”
You looked ahead and everyone’s lights were flashing as you all slowly drove to the pitlane. Carlos’s car was ahead and you let out a sigh of relief, at least he was safe. Once everyone was parked and you received the ‘okay’ to leave the car, you scrambled out and ran to the pit wall.
“What happened?” your eyes grew big as flashes of your accident appeared. “Are they okay?”
“Zhou, Russel, and Albon are out,” says your strategist.
He points to the screen that was showing live helicopter and drone footage. It looked bad, Gunayu’s car was wedged between the fence and a barrier. You squint and see that George was on the scene, and see ambulances for Alex and Guanyu. Breathing hard, you find yourself having to use one of the engineers to help with your balance. You squint at the screen just hoping that you would be able to catch a glimpse of him moving in his car. You didn’t even notice you were hyperventilating until Carlos appeared in front of you and told you to breathe slowly. He brings you close and you bury your head against his chest.
“I can’t look anymore, let me know when he gets out.”
Carlos holds you and tells you little updates while you close your eyes and work on breathing slowly. After a minute, he tells you to look up, and that's when you see Guanyu safely get out of the car. You sag onto Carlos and tears start streaming down your face, as quickly as possible, he leads you deep into the garage where you can let all your emotions out and away from the cameras. Someone hands you a tissue and you do your best to contain yourself. Now that you knew the boys were okay, you needed to get back into racing mode. That’s when you suddenly remember Carlos and his predicament.
“Carlos! You’re P2 right now!'' You look at the tv screens and you can see that the marshalls and other staff members were cleaning up the area and restoring the barrier. Guanyu's car was still stuck and the people on the cranes still had to figure out how to get it out. “They’re going to redo the line-up. This is your chance to get your position back!”
Carlos just looks at you and smiles. You had just relived a trauma and here you were trying to get yourself together for his benefit, he did have the greatest girlfriend. He makes you sit on the floor and he sits on the ground so that your legs are touching.
“Don’t worry about me, I just want to make sure you’re ready to race. I’ll make sure Max doesn’t get ahead of me. I know I can win this, I can feel it,” says Carlos.
You lean your head on his shoulder and take in a shaky breath. “I’ll be okay to drive, it was just so strange to see an accident so similar to mine. I’ll make sure to visit their garage after to see if we can see Guanyu.”
You and Carlos see Rupert peeking into the Aston Martin garage and the both of you laugh. It was time to go back to work. Pressing a kiss on your forehead, he wishes you luck. You take him by the shoulders and look at him sternly.
“Max is going to attack and be aggressive right away. He’s already pissed it’s a restart but that’s okay because you're faster and smarter. You can do this!” you say giving him a quick kiss and a shove out of the garage.
The engineers pull you aside and show your data from the start and they tell you what you have to do to achieve the same results. The team principal pulls you aside to see if you were mentally okay to race and you reassure him that you were okay. He seemed hesitant to believe you but when he sees the intensity in your eyes, he knows you won't disappoint him. Seb finds you sitting with Anna and your pit crew. He squats down and gives you a reassuring smile.
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m a little embarrassed. I got emotional but I'm okay. I’m just glad to hear the boys are safe.”
He nods. “I talked to George and he told me Guanyu is fine and just a little shaken up. The medics were able to get him safely out of the card news. Us drivers are insane, something huge happens like this and all we do is take a moment, shake it off, and go back on the track.”
You look at him gratefully and nod.
“We’re all crazy, but that’s what makes us the best in the world,” he says, squeezing your shoulder.
The team principal says that the race starts in ten minutes so you go to the bathroom and go over your different strategies with the engineers one last time. You look for Carlos, and when you see that he was already in the car with his helmet on, you laugh. The other drivers were still in their garages, he was the only one out there. Making your way over to his Ferrari, you bend down and get at eye level with him. You stick your pinky finger out and he hooks his with yours.
“Don’t forget what I told you, faster and smarter. You got this.”
You see him wink at you through his visor. Using the halo to stabilize yourself, you lean down and kiss the top of his helmet. The pit crew that surrounded him smiled at the gesture, they wished you luck as you headed to your car. The other drivers start trickling onto the pitlane and you’re met with Anna who gives you a pep talk. With your helmet and seat belts on, you closed your eyes and imagined yourself going through the corners of Silverstone.
Because of the accident, some of the guys may be a little hesitant at the start so you plan on using that to your advantage. You have had a strange relationship with driving after the accident. Yes, 30 minutes ago you may have been crying over the crash but that was because it was so similar to the one you had. You find yourself much more aggressive than you were before the accident. You weren’t too cocky about it where you put yourself in more danger but you drove with absolutely no hesitation. The fans noticed and loved it, your family was expectedly weary but they trusted you and your judgment. Since the crash, you have been top 10 in every race and you plan on keeping it like that.
A formation lap is done and when all the lights go green, you floor it. Turns 1-3 were smooth and once you’re on Wellington Straight, you finally let yourself breathe again. Your strategist tells you you moved up two places making you P5. This excites you, maybe you can make it to the podium with Carlos but you don’t get too excited. You had a whole race ahead of you and anything can happen. You have some interesting battles with Fernando, Lando, and Charles battling for 4th place. You almost had a close call with Fernando and you had to bite your tongue so you wouldn’t lash out at him through the radio. You resort to grumbling incoherent swears at your engineer and he just comically responds with “I know” knowing it was completely Fernando’s fault you almost crashed into him.
You let out a whoop into the radio when you cross the finish line. You finished P5 and was happy with your performance and was even more excited knowing that Carlos got his first-ever win. Parked in the pitlane and clambering out of the car, you clap Charles on the back but before he could even acknowledge you, you were sprinting away from him. Running as fast as you can, you make a beeline for Carlos and jump into his outstretched arms. He holds you tight and after a few moments he rips his helmet off and you do the same. You beam at each other as you clasp your hands around his shoulders, he was glowing and his eyes sparkled.
“Congratulations Carlos Sainz, you’re a Grand Prix Winner,” you say as he holds you tightly. “I am so proud of you and I love you so much.”
He smiles and brings his hands to your face, he was speechless as his heart beat fast at all the celebrations around him. Carlos kisses you deeply and the engineers and other teams around him start cheering loudly. You let go of him and he gives a little cheeky wink. While he hugs his parents and sisters, you get weighed and make your way back to the barricade. Carlos leaves to go to the cool-down room and with the help of his cousin and manager, you climb over the barrier to join his team and family. Carlos Senior and his sisters congratulate you for your p5 finish and Reyes gives you a bone-crushing hug, not caring at all that you are drenched in sweat.
The announcer calls Carlos’s name and he steps outs waving at the fans who cheer him on. Once situated on the podium, Carlos looks down from the podium balcony, he can’t help but choke up. Just below him were the most important people in his life. The sea of red, his family, and you look up at him with smiles on your faces. He watches as you clutch his mother and sister’s hands and bounce in anticipation during the national anthem. Here he was about to receive a P1 trophy and he has never been happier or more grateful. Carlos knew his life was good, he wanted to be in motorsports and now here he was living the dream. He never thought he needed companionship until he met you, a person who would understand his goals in life and know how much dedication is needed for Formula One.
When Carlos clutches his trophy, he meets your gaze and smiles softly. He had a second chance to deserve your love and he wasn’t going to mess it up this time. He knows what you both share is a once in a lifetime and he will never do anything to jeopardize your relationship. He caught a glimpse of what it would feel like if you were no longer in his life and he never wanted to feel like that again.
—
August 2022 - Formula One Summer Break
The cool blue water looks more and more enticing as the hot sun beats down on your body. You prop yourself onto your elbows and see Carlos on the other side of the boat talking to Lando and Alex. You look around the yacht and see drivers and their friends or significant others lounging on the deck. You were floating somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea with a bunch of exhausted Formula One drivers with sore bodies. Toto Wolff offered his yacht to George for a couple of days to kick-start the summer break. George invited everyone but the younger drivers with no spouses and children were the only ones who took up the offer. The day after the race was usually painful and you and your friends could not wait to get back to Monaco.
You look at Charles sitting on the chaise lounge next to you, staring off into the horizon. The last few months have been rough on the Ferrari drivers but it was Charles who was suffering. He was leading the championship but bad luck just kept hitting him every weekend.
You tap him on the shoulder and he looks at you with his eyebrow raised.
“Do you ever have moments where you just can’t believe that this is your life? I mean– I’m on a yacht with my closest friends and coworkers. It just happens they’re all Formula One drivers which means that I am one of you,” you say blissfully looking out into the ocean and the faint outline of France and Monaco. “I can hardly believe it.”
Charles looks at you and smiles. Ever since the accident happened, you were always so verbal with your gratitude. You would be doing the most mundane things such as doing the track walk or toasting bread and you would stop, smile and strike up a conversation with the closest person. There was a time when Carlos was holding your hand in the paddock and you stopped walking just so you could lift the clasped hands, and marvel at it for a few seconds before telling Carlos how much you loved him. Those who witnessed it couldn’t stop smiling, they loved your love.
“We are so lucky,” agreed Charles. “Sometimes I forget, but times like this remind me how lucky I am to be alive and feel the sun or laugh with my friends.”
You look at him as he wistfully gazes toward the direction of Monaco. He thinks of those he had lost, remembering to live each day like it was his last. Charles is ashamed to admit it but sometimes he’d forget so he was glad to have someone like you in his life to remind him what was important.
“That accident you had in Miami–” he stops before his voice cracks. He lets out a puff of air and breathes deeply. “I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been.”
“You know, I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough for all the help and support you’ve given me and Carlos this year. Especially after the accident. You were always there to help us and I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”
Charles waves his hand nonchalantly, “I know you would've done the same if roles were reversed.”
Sometimes you would go back to the footage of the accident, you felt a phantom pain in your chest every time you saw the car careen towards the barrier. What hurt the most was seeing how people were reacting to it, you remember seeing Carlos and Lando watching the screens intently but not Charles. You could see the scene so clearly, him facing away from the monitors and breathing hard, his skin pale at the thought of your demise. When you were at the hospital he doted over you, stayed by your side whenever Carlos or Anna had to leave. You remember the way he and his girlfriend would visit you whenever they could when you all got back to Monaco. It made you smile to think of the good friends you had in your life. Charles was right, you would do the same exact thing if roles were reversed.
Changing the subject to each of your performances this year, Charles starts talking about his frustrations with himself and the car. The two of you get distracted when you see Daniel push Yuki off the boat which leads to Pierre throwing Daniel into the water. Everyone starts cheering and laughing, their smiles turning mischievous as they eye the other people around them. You and Charles look at each other and grin as you get up and start running to the other side of the boat.
Charles charges toward Pierre and with a yelp, they both crash into the water. You approach Carlos and he turns around with his hands already out to defend himself.
“Amor, no. Don’t do it,” his voice slightly panicked. He eyes the cold blue water and looks at you sporting a cheeky smile.
“What?” you say innocently. “I can’t give my boyfriend a hug?”
You lunge for him but he quickly moves out of the way. The two of you dance around each other playing a cat-and-mouse game. Ultimately, you manage to shove him off the deck but not before he catches your hand and pulls you in. The shrieks turn to laughter as you and the others splash around in the ocean. The contrast between the scorching sun and the cold water became a comfortable medium so you and Carlos decide to stay in and float for a while. The others went back into the yacht but since the sea was relatively calm, you thought you couldn't waste this opportunity to relax in the water.
Carlos lets out a sigh of contentment.
To you, the cold water was especially relaxing since every single muscle in your body was still screaming. A couple of days ago, you had gotten a podium for P3 in Hungary and that race had depleted all your energy. You were racing hard the last 10 laps of the race. George was right behind and the two of you got into some very intense battles but in the end, it was you who was spraying champagne onto Lewis and Max.
“I told you the water would feel nice,” you say, poking him on his side.
You’re both staring at the clouds and blue sky but you don’t have to look to know that he was grinning ear-to-ear. He reaches for your hand and tangles his fingers with yours, ensuring you don’t drift away from him. You feel like you’re floating toward the sky, the only thing tethering you to Earth is Carlos’s dependable and firm grip. Sometimes you think about what might have happened if you chose not to forgive Carlos. You shiver just thinking about it. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten into an accident or it could’ve been worse and resulted in permanent injuries or death. All you know is that Carlos is the love of your life and you would do it all over again even if it meant it would end in heartache. The thing is, you don’t think you ever have to worry about that. The universe has given you the perfect partner and despite any upcoming hardships, you know that you belong to each other and nothing will ever change that.
The two of you enjoyed each other's company in silence until the water became too cold and you needed to get back on the yacht. Carlos helps you up onto the deck and head straight to the outdoor dining area. Everyone is already helping themselves to the food so you sit down and wait because Carlos insisted that he would make your plate for you. Lando teased you relentlessly but you just shrugged. Your boyfriend was excessive when it comes to taking care of you, he knows you could always make your coffee or grab a jacket if you’re cold but whenever you are with him, you barely lift a finger. Of course, you protest whenever he does this but he loves to spoil you so you let him.
Later that day after the sunset and the boat had docked in Monte Carlo, you, the other driver, and their girlfriends were pre-gaming in the lounge area. Everyone was dressed to the nines because you were going to the club and celebrating Max’s win and your third podium. Lily and Carmen compliment the emerald green cocktail dress and you grin when you tell them that Carlos had gifted it to you. This then leads to all the girlfriends scolding their partners for never gifting them a dress to their taste. The boys start hounding you about what kind of gifts you’ve given to Carlos and they are silenced when he flashes his watch you had gotten for him for his win in Silverstone.
You sidle up to Carlos while his fingers glide over the silk and rest on your hip. Looking up, Carlos smirks down at you as your friends loudly squabble about who has the best sense of style. Everyone was throwing tipsy insults at each other, but it was all part of the banter. Carlos kisses the side of your head making you smile as laughter bubbles out. You wrap your arms around him and inhale the citrus and sandalwood. Feeling his gaze, you look up to see his dark brown eyes looking at you in pure adoration. Placing a hand on the side of his face, you pull him towards you and press a kiss on his lips.
Here you were in a beautiful dress with the man of your dreams in your arms. You were performing well in the highest level of motorsport breaking records and boundaries for other women out there. A year ago, you were so focused on your work that every single thought was about becoming a world champion or getting as far up the grid as you can. You had to work harder than the boys just to prove that you belonged in this sport just as much as they did. Now that you’ve proven yourself, it makes that fire within you burn brighter. You want to be the best, you want to break records and show the world that you have what it takes to dominate the sport. It was strange to be competing with your boyfriend but it makes you better, some would even say ruthless. This is why you and Carlos work so well together, you teach him to enjoy and savor life while he helps you keep that laser focus on your goals.
You were now leaning against Carlos’s chest with his strong arms holding you close to him. His body gives you warmth as a cool sea breeze brushes past you. As the two of you admired the twinkling lights of Monte-Carlo at night, you can’t think of a better person to spend the rest of your life with.
---
Thank you for all the love. Feel free to send fic requests, I'm itching to write about the other drivers!
Tagged: @oyesmendes, @forzaferraris, @harley-sunday, @thatoneidiot16, @haterpenny, @mysticalnightenthusiast, @laura-naruto-fan1998, @helluvahazelnut, @starjane312, @thatchickwiththecamera, @sticksdoesart, @xscorpioxmoon, @sanne-p, @idkiwantchocolatee , @ruledchaos, @callmequeenbeee, @nochillnel, @dr3lover, @urbankaite2, @justharrysworld, @ohthemisssery, @zoobabystation, @fangirlingcontent-blog, @dan3avacado, @compulsiveshit, @iamasimpingh0e, @inurdreamms, @kodzuskook, @imsoconfused2903, @urbankaite2, @nsprinz, @loveofmylife12 , @capela-miranda, @organasith, @c0k3z3r0na, @thelightnessofthebeing @verstfosi, @glitterquadricorn, @bloomingpresent, @troybolton-14, @vio111a, @marvelousmendess, @bbbbruins, @itssherlockedontheinside, @secretlysoft444,
#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz jr x reader#f1 fanfiction#f1 fan fic#f1 x you#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz imagine
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
September 29th, 2023 Super Harvest Moon!
On September 29th, there will be the 4th and final super moon of the year! It's the perfect time to take advantage of that energy!
Ways to utilize it
Journal- write down the things you need to release, and then (safely) burn them. I like to burn a candle at the same time, seal the ashes in a jar with the candle wax with rosemary and peppercorn and then throw it out to get rid of it.
You can also do the same thing with things you want to bring into your life, burn them, put the ashes in a jar with things that match your intent, seal with wax and then put it somewhere you'll be able to see it consistently.
Charging your Crystals
Visualization Meditation- full moons are routinely utilized for manifestation. Sitting in the moonlight and meditating on your intentions and setting your goals goes a long way!
And of course, don't forget to stock up on your moon water!
Another thing, I like to do a ritual bath for an extra boost!
What do you guys usually do on the full moon?
#pagan witch#witchblr#witchcore#witchcraft#beginner witch#witch tips#witchy vibes#autistic witch#witchy#witchcraft supplies#full moon#moon#full moon ritual#supermoon#september 2023
119 notes
·
View notes
Note
You have talked about certain things young designers can do that will set them up for failure, namely not studying in college, not prototyping ideas, and trying to burn themselves out by working to hard at the beginning and then slowing down later. What are other common early mistakes that will make a game developers job harder?
One common mistake I see with young devs is that they invest too much of their identities into what they do for work. I can understand that quite well - for most of my early career, I did the same thing. I was the game dev. I worked on famous games that most people had played, or at least heard of. It's a really big ego boost when total strangers you meet know of your work and are impressed with your job. I would caution young devs to avoid this.
One very hard lesson I learned over my career is that the industry is volatile. It's very easy to lose your job - the company financials start looking bad and there's layoffs. The game doesn't sell well and there's layoffs. The game is sunsetting so there's layoffs. When the vast majority of the costs in the industry are salaries, the vast majority of cost-cutting is how many workers to let go. We've seen a huge number of layoffs in 2023 and this year so far. I doubt we've seen the last of them. Job losses are commonplace in the industry, which is what makes the next part a really big deal.
If a large part of my identity is based on my job, I'm suddenly forced to deal with a significantly changed identity when I don't have a job anymore. That's extremely difficult to deal with when the chips are down, because being jobless puts a lot more responsibilities on my shoulders for my survival - I need to be operating at my best. At the very least I need to project confidence and competence in order to find a new job. If I must go for an extended period without work (e.g. an economic recession), that gap in my sense of identity from being a game dev encourages depression and melancholy to occupy that space. Overall it's much more healthy to separate who I am from what I do so that I don't end up in this feast or famine situation, especially when I need stronger mental health levels to find a job than I do to keep a job.
[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]
Got a burning question you want answered?
Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter
Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr
Frequent Questions: The FAQ
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
The first lil mushrooms for my crochet project (look how pretty the colours are with the deep green base!!) and a new book I got.
01|08|2023
This month has started in an unexpected but lovely way. While I was at the bus stop waiting for my bus home I started chatting with a girl who asked me informations because she is only just learning Italian, she complimented me for my English and we found ourselves talking about anything and everything, and we spoke for like half and hour? Other than just goving me a confidence boost on my English speaking abilities, since I don't get to practice a lot, it made feel so proud of myself for talking to a stranger. I am a super shy person, and one year ago I would have never just had a conversation like this with a stranger, it felt so good to do something so out of my comfort zone in such a natural way. I spent the rest of the morning in my family's store with my mom and brother, and then spent the afternoon with my mom. We had some errands to run and then we went to get a tea and a sweet treat in a cafè. It's something we like to do every once in a while, and it had been some time since our last tea afternoon. As we were out I also did something I hadn't done in years, I bought a book I don't know anything about and that I have never seen or heard before. It might sound stupid but in the last few years all my book purchases have been somehow planned, I knew what I was looking for amd I got books I knew something about. To just walk in a bookstore have my eye caught by something I know nothing about felt so good!
Chill hobbit summer activities of today (I am about to change name for this section but that will happen once I get back into my productive routine next week):
Reading in the morning
Monthly therapy session
Talking to strangers without feeling self conscious
Sat in the sun outside the store with my brother chatting and laughing
Buying a book I know nothing of but that called to me (I feel like it will be a great autumn horror to get cozy with)
Tea time with my mom (we got an amazing sweet treat and also the tea we got was super good? It was a mix of green tea and other herbs including lemongrass and rose, it was spectacular)
Crocheting everytime I have nothing to do
I'll be going out my family for dinner
📖: The Dragon Republic by R.F. Kuang
🎵: Burn The Witch by Shawn James
#studyblr#studyinspo#book#bookblr#journal#journaling#chill hobbit summer#productivity#self care#mine#the---hermit
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Battle of Egos
Pairing: Kung Lao x Fem Reader
First time writing for Kung Lao so I hope I did well!
Summary: After dealing with Kung Lao’s teasing, the reader decides to boost their own ego and show Kung Lao that she can take charge in the bed room too…
Warnings: SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!) Established relationship, unprotected sex (wrap it before ya tap it people!)
Word Count: 0.5k
“I’m sick of your arrogance, Kung Lao.”
He was always talking a big game and I had enough of his teasing, going straight to our bedroom the moment we came home from Madame Bo’s.
“I’m not arrogant. Just confident. I know what I’m capable of,” Laid back on the bed with his arms above his head, kicking off his pants and briefs.
“And tonight,” I boosted my own confidence and cockiness as I stripped out of my clothes, “You’re going to see what I’m capable of.”
“Show me what you got then,” He smirked, licking his lips.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” I winked, crawling on top of him, kissing where he always grew weak in the neck while slowly sinking onto his cock, already getting soft hums from him.
To begin, I swiveled my hips slow, creating a sweet burn between our hips, Kung Lao always teasing me:
“Need help, love?”
“Help?” I laughed, sitting up straight, growling through my teeth as I began bouncing on his cock, “I’m going to make you eat your words.”
“Sure-“ He tried laughing sarcastically, his eyes shutting tight, his relaxed breathing turning into soft pants the fast I went, letting a few moans leak out just to add to it all.
Our wet skin slapping became the loudest sound in the room, my hips smacking his so hard that the bed creaked, the hands fixed behind his head soon trying to latch to my hips.
“What’s the matter? You got so quiet all of a sudden,” I was the teaser now, picking myself up to just leave his tip.
“Nothings wrong at a-“ Teasing the bell out of his tip, mid-sentence, I dropped back onto every inch of his cock, moans mixing with a laugh as he moaned, “Ah, fuck!”
Rubbing his chest, I rocked back and forth hard, asking:
“Too much for you?”
Shaking his head quickly, his hands latched on his hips and gripped on like his life depended on it:
“I’m gonna cum if you keep going like that.”
“Isn’t that the point?” I laughed, sitting up straight and returning to relentless bouncing, feeling his cock throbbing.
“Ngh, I’m g’na cum,” He kept repeating, ours hips sinking further into the bed, focusing on my own orgasm before he got to his.
“Not gonna let me cum first?” I huffed, putting on my sweet voice, knowing he felt how my walls were spasming, moaning down to him, “I’m cuming, Kung Lao!”
“Ah! Ah!” He was shaking at how I slicked his cock, balls, and thighs, immediately seizing up after a hard shake, pulling his hips back and picking me up by the hips.
I had to giggle at how hard he came, seed shooting clear up to his chest, twitching and leaking even after he was done.
“Dear goodness,” I giggled, stroking his cock softy as his cum still oozed, “I don’t think I’ve ever made you cum this hard.”
“I need a s-second,” His chest heaved, holding my hand as he was still sensitized.
“It’s okay,” I climbed up next to him, laying down and kissing his cheek, “We can call it a night.”
2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome
#mortal Kombat#mortal Kombat x reader#mortal Kombat smut#mortal Kombat oneshot#mortal Kombat fic#mortal kombat 1#kung Lao#Kung Lao x reader#Kung Lao smut#Kung Lao oneshot#Kung Lao imagine#mortal Kombat imagine#Kung Lao fic#read and enjoy
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
December 2023 Good Days
Here are the days during which the transiting Moon (1) is in a sign ruled by a particular planet, and (2) makes a flowing aspect to that planet. (Sextiles and trines, sometimes conjunctions.)
Sun: Friday, December 1, 16:00 UT - Saturday, December 2, 11:45 UT
Good for ego boosts, general health and well-being, and shining.
Mercury: Monday, December 3, 03:50 UT - 10:12 UT
Good for learning, thinking, reasoning, and communicating. Mercury is in its pre-retrograde shadow, so we can also use the time to identify which Mercury things we need to work on during the retrograde.
Mars: Tuesday, December 19, 22:47 UT - Thursday, December 21, 08:23 UT
Good for physical fitness and strength. We have all kinds of energy to burn.
Jupiter: Sunday, December 17, 19:58 UT - Monday, December 18, 05:49 UT
Good for the Pisces side of Jupiter - we can reflect a little with this.
Saturn: Wednesday, December 13, 15:31 UT - 18:39 UT
Good for serious matters, building, scaffolding, and being nice to the grandparents.
Pluto: Saturday, December 9, 03:35 UT - Monday, December 11, 08:57 UT
Good for plumbing, therapy, detective work, and getting to the bottom of things.
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
I sit here and I watch the news about Gaza
and I think
shit, I need to get back to work;
it's toxic to just fixate on the news,
It's bad for my mental health.
I can't be irresponsible to myself
I have class in the morning.
I have exams next week...
But how can I turn a blind eye?
How can I not care
that nine thousand Gazan children are dead,
that the Israeli Occupation Force has dropped the equivalent of an atomic bomb
on a space about the size of the New York City metropolis,
that an episcopal church was bombed—
it was one of the oldest churches in the world,
that one of the oldest mosques in the region was destroyed
that hospitals are being shelled with doctors and patients still within,
that men are carrying pieces of their dead children out of houses in plastic grocery bags because there's no other way to carry that many pieces in their hands,
that over a million people were told to evacuate on bombed-out roads,
and then they were shot and bombed with USAmerican white phosphorus when trying to leave?
Do you know what white phosphorus does to a human body?????
Please google it.
And if you "don't want to see something like that"
Oh,
I want you to google it even more now.
just to be appropriately horrified.
How can I not see that the Israeli government doesn't see Palestinian people [THEIR people if we're going by statehood metrics, who were on that land when the BRITISH GOVERNMENT decided to make the state] as human beings,
that they'd do anything to slaughter Palestinians under the cover of radio silence so the world turns away?
And that men wail from minarets—
not to call their flock to holy prayer but
to speak messages of hope that god will save them,
to attempt to reach the outside world, when the information reaches the people at the edge of the strip, who have international SIM cards and can get the word out,
and to deliver news of where the bombs fall so that paramedics can know where to dig more bodies out—the bodies that aren't a bloody slurry sprayed across the streets and walls, anyways.
And that journalists are being executed en masse to hide the story.
And that men are being stripped naken and forced to sit on the ground for hours at a time, just like in Nazi Germany.
And I can't forget the fact that the United States, MY NATION, voted AGAINST a UN call for a ceasefire...
TWICE.
And that construction companies are already tearing down the old apartments to make room for new living arrangements for the colonisers, before the old buildings even stop burning.
And that settlers are coming into these abandoned homes and looting food and jewelry and desecrating prayer rugs.
And it isn't the fault of Jewish people.
I know that.
Jewish people deserve a place to be safe and free, wherever they are...
But this fact likewise does not require the creation of an ethnostate.
The implication that the only way for Jewish people to be safe is to kill everyone else... is it not in itself antisemitic?
I'm scared for the Palestinian people, and also for my Jewish diaspora friends.
They hate what's going on just as much as I do,
but they're going to get blamed by well-meaning Palestine supporters.
I know they will.
They know they will.
We all know that they will.
Another wave of antisemitism.
Another wave of islamophobia.
Another wave of killings.
Another wave of ethnic cleansing.
On it goes.
A little boy was already killed by his mother's racist landlord in Chicago. Stabbed 26 times.
Three college students were attacked and one was maimed for life.
Attacks against synagogues here in the US have only increased. Two people were shot, allegedly for a Free Palestine...
But we all know that the neonazis have been using this mess to stir the pot against Jewish people and boost their recruitment.
The Palestinian 2023/24 school year has been officially canceled going forward.
Because the enrolled students are dead or missing.
Because they were bombed with American ground-to-ground missiles.
We all know the missiles are American in origin.
Russia has its own genocide to attend to, and China doesn't care enough to give arms to anyone. And we know it's American White Phosphorus.
All the while, war profiteers in my nation get richer and richer,
richer and richer and richer,
and richer and richer and richer and richer and richer and richer—
and they'll laugh like the evil FUCKING pricks that they are
when Gaza gets bombed,
and they'll laugh like the evil FUCKING pricks that they are
when Jewish people get attacked in the streets,
because every act of violence
and every sentiment of hated
fills their pockets with more and more and more US-AMERICAN DOLLARS and GUNS and BOMBINGS and SHOOTINGS and HATRED and GOD BLESS AMERICA—
or something like that
.
.
.
I've signed petitions.
I've signed so many I've lost track of the ones I've signed and the ones I haven't, the ones for other countries that I can repost but can't sign or they might get tossed out.
I've donated money to relief organizations for when the borders re-open, because I'm an optimistic bastard like that.
I've sent emails.
I've sent... so many emails.
I've called all my Representatives in Congress.
I've spread news to as many of my friends as I can without them blocking me.
And still Gaza burns.
And still children are slaughtered, even during the fake ceasefire.
And still I have exams next week.
And still I think about how I really shouldn't fixate on this, because it affects my mood.
and it's been impacting my performance at school.
and it's been undoing months of work I've done with my therapist to try and disconnect from current events.
And still I think about how
"the current events"
rain down like hellfire on innocent mothers of dead children,
and children of dead mothers,
and sisters of dead brothers,
and brothers of dead sisters,
and fathers of dead babies,
and babies of dead fathers,
and teachers of dead students,
and students of dead teachers,
and churches and pastors,
and mosques and imams,
and hospitals and doctors,
and synagogues and rabbis,
and the fucking relief trucks that were filled with food and water.
And here I sit, and I don't know what to do about it????
And I wonder if this is all the point?
To make things worse and worse and worse and worse so that people are so unbearably exhausted from just trying to do the right thing
that they can't take care of themselves?
That they can't achieve upwards mobility?
That they can't make any difference at all for the things that matter most to them?
but I'm just one monkey...
one monkey can't solve systemic problems
that are baked into the roots of our society.
It's a first world problem, for sure. I have the privilege to be able to unplug from this and rest in my bed and not get bombed.
But I just want to make things better, for everyone...
I know that I can't do that.
But I wish I could
Oh, god—
I wish I could.
But I guess I'll just go to sleep.
After all
I have class in the morning.
#palestine#free gaza#free palestine#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#first world problems
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
New Member Spotlight - December 2023
The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!
Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!
@mayalaen -
Other SM names? - Mayalaen on AO3, Discord, Twitter, Bluesky, LiveJournal, Dreamwidth, etc.
OTP? - I'm a multishipper so no true OTP.
Other fandoms? - Mostly Stranger Things, OFMD, Stargate SGA/SG1, Star Trek, X-FIles, and Angel the Series/Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I'm interested in a lot of fandoms.
Looking for in the Pond? - I like to encourage people to write and create and I like to make friends in fandom. I was referred to the Pond for that by some members.
Something to signal boost? - I run a monthly writing/art challenge on AO3 called SPNColdestHits that you guys have already been boosting (THANK YOU!!). It's multifandom now and accepts art and original fic, not just fanfic. This is the AO3 collection link and of course, we're @spncoldesthits here on Tumblr, but we're also on Discord, Twitter, Bluesky, and Pillowfort.
Pairings you read? - I'll read pretty much any pairing, poly or otherwise. I'm not interested in reader insert, but I've read some.
Genres you read? - I prefer darkfic and/or kink, but I read anything.
Favorite writer(s)? - Xanthe Walter, but they haven't been active in fandom for about 2 years now.
What do you like to write? - My favorite is darkfic, D/S AU, and kink, but I also love writing crack and all other genres.
Masterlist!
Most underappreciated fic? - It's newer but it has the least amount of hits from the list of non-crack/non-gift fics and is an SPN/Blacklist crossover. Caging the Mongoose.
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I really would like to write some SPN/HDM fusions. I keep toying with the idea, but have never posted any of them. I always work better when I have prompts or ideas from others to spur me on.
.@leatafandom -
Other SM names? - @leatawrites, Leata (AO3 and Discord)
OTP? - Sabriel
Other fandoms? - Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Marvel, BBC Merlin, Star Trek, Doctor Who
Looking for in the Pond? - I could use some help with tags and challenging myself to write different things.
Pairings you read? - Ships, Gens, Poly fics
Genres you read? - Angst is my favorite but fluff and smut are always wonderful
Favorite writer(s)? - Yes, @idabbleincrazy on Tumblr or Gabriel_is_my_guardian_angel89 on Ao3
What do you like to write? - Angst, Horror, Smut, Bittersweet/Sad Things
Masterlist!
Most underappreciated fic? - My most underappreciated story is probably one of my original horror short stories. My most underappreciated fanfic is probably Becoming One,Two, and One Again.
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? -I really would like to write more horror however I feel like I struggle with expressing fear, scenery/detail descriptions, and word choice
@oganizediguana -
Other SM names? - Oganizediguana on Discord
OTP? - Destiel
Other fandoms? - I tiptoe through many fandoms, but SPN is my home. Good Omens
Looking for in the Pond? - I’d love to get encouragement for writing and the confidence to share my work. But I’d also love to just meet interesting people.
Pairings you read? - 99% destiel
Genres you read? - I read it all, but mutual pining slow burn is what makes me feel all the things. I love a good canon-compliant AU. I’m happy with anything that ends happily. Or at least hopefully.
Favorite writer(s)? - On AO3: NorthernSparrow, tenoko1, saltnhalo, there are so many amazing authors in this fandom!
What do you like to write? - Everything seems to turn into angst.
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I’d like the confidence to share what I have written.
@dragonslayer-5fanfiction -
Other SM names? - Ao3- Dragonslayer5
Other fandoms? - haikyuu, daria, lotr/the hobbit, tmnt
Looking for in the Pond? - I just want to make friends and read good fanfic. I like to beta read. Maybe write some fanfic, but I have writer's block rn.
Pairings you read? - Reader insert
Genres you read? - Fluff, crack. One bed, and arranged marriage forced proximity tropes.
What do you like to write? - Reader inserts. Fluff.
Masterlist! AO3 Works list
Most underappreciated fic? - Do You Think About Me? (not SPN)
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? -Honestly, writing two characters from the Fandom. I typically stick to reader insert, and I'm a little scared I won't get the characteristics right or the dynamic.
That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @katbratsupernaturalwhore and @heavenssexiestangel!
#welcome#new member post#pond admin#spnwin#supernatural#the winchesters#long post#fan fiction#fanfiction#fan fic#fanfic#spn fan fiction#spn fanfiction#spn fan fic#spn fanfic#supernatural fan fiction#supernatural fan fic#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural fanfic#spn prequel#pond events
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Round Up 4
With the 4th week of posting coming to a close, have another round up before we'll be starting into the final week tomorrow!
Title: where dreams dwell not
Writer: jamais_vu0
Artist: foxish (@kitsune2022-artish)
Rating: Teen
Warnings: canon-typical violence, temporary character death
Word Count: 89,523
Pairing/main characters: Hob Gadling, Dream of the Endless, Hob/Dream
Additional tags: fairy tale AU, Hob saves Dream from the fishbowl, slow burn
Summary:
Hob Gadling is wasting away, aching for adventure and the chance to live life as it's meant to be lived. When he receives a mysterious letter promising all the adventure he could want in exchange for a year of his company, he takes the offer and finds himself in a lonely castle in a land of magic, a strange figure haunting his dreams. And when Hob himself breaks the one rule he's been given days before the year is complete, he finds himself embarking on the adventure he's always wanted, in order to save his Dream from a fate worse than death.
Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48303526/chapters/121823242
Art: https://www.tumblr.com/kitsune2022-artish/726233688430477312/my-art-for-the-endlessbigbang-2023-for
---
Title: Love at Third Sight
Writer: Gfawkes / LLflorence (@llflorence)
Artist: @hpurlnovi
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Word Count: 20,455
Pairing/main characters: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling
Up to 10 Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Top Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Bottom Hob Gadling, Explicit Sexual Content, Identity Reveal, Mutual Pining, Romance, Light Angst, Emotional Sex
Summary:
Hob is dyslexic, and music notes are just like letters. B’s and d’s and p’s and q’s all look the same, as do all those little bastard tadpoles on the musical staff. So he does it a little differently, with a little humor and a lot of close-ups of his hairy fingers. And for some reason, it’s a hit in more ways than one. As Robyn begins to tune his instrument, Hob cases the room for his stranger. It’s the third time the handsome man has been to one of their gigs. There’s something familiar about him, something Hob can’t quite put his finger on. But the fact that he’s made eye contact for the third time is extremely intriguing. Johanna, of course, notices. “You’re looking for him again, aren’t you.”
Art & Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48001063/chapters/121029040
---
Title: Sunrise in Chocolate Ink
Writer: @aquilathefighter
Artist: @vriah
Rating: Teen
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Word Count: 15,047
Pairing/main characters: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling
Up to 10 Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Autistic Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Anxiety Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Social Anxiety, Poet Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Barista Hob Gadling
Summary:
Dream Endlaez is newly living on his own and trying to make it as a poet. He starts going to work at a nearby coffee shop known for supporting local artists, where he meets a handsome and charming barista named Hob. Dream learns the business is not doing well, so he decides to host a poetry reading night to attract customers (and boost his career at the same time!), all the while falling for the barista.
Art & Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48363172
Art: https://www.tumblr.com/vriah/726453780868218880/sunrise-in-chocolate-ink-by-aquilathefighter
---
Title: The Many Lives of Hob Gadling
Writer: @landwriter
Artist: @teejaystumbles
Pairing/main characters: Dream/Hob
Rating: M
Warnings: Chose Not To Warn
Word Count: ~20K
Up to 10 Additional Tags: Canon Divergence, Non-Linear Narrative, Reincarnation, Letters, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Devotion, Quests
Summary:
A man, supine and utterly still, in what might have seemed like a deep sleep, draws in a long slow breath and opens his eyes. He smiles up at the sky, for he knows not much at all, but he knows this:Hob Gadling is a man of good fortune. A story about refusing to leave. A story about a quest that spans lifetimes. A story about losing someone, and bringing them back with love.
Art & Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49088941
Art: https://www.tumblr.com/teejaystumbles/726549220335763456/illustrations-i-did-for-landwriters-endless-big
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jonny’s Summer 2023 Guitar Pedalboard
Jonny about to stomp on a pedal during the Smile's show at Auditorio Nacional in Mexico City in late-June, 2023 (elamplimx).
With Radiohead, Jonny is known for very slowly adding pedals to his setup. While Ed often has half a dozen new pedals for a new album tour, Jonny often adds only one (such as his Headrush in 2000 or his Freeze in 2012). And when Jonny swaps out a pedal for a similar one (like one tremolo for another tremolo), it’s usually only when his old pedals are too worn out for touring (such as his original Whammy WH1 and vintage RE-201 Space Echos). One might think Jonny keeps the old pedals around because, since Kid A, he’s often playing other instruments. However, at live shows Jonny is still happy to replicate some recorded sounds on guitar, whether it be the filtered samples on Feral (using volume pedal, Whammy, and phaser) or the col lengo strings on Burn The Witch (using Whammy, overdrive, and a cello bow). It’s clear he enjoys getting the most out of those pedals in that specific arrangement.
But with The Smile, Jonny has been swapping in new pedals pretty regularly. In 2022, Jonny was experimenting constantly, sometimes adding new pedals for only a couple of days before swapping in a replacement. He quickly eschewed some of the Radiohead-favorites heard during the earliest Smile streams, such as his Small Stone, Tremulator, and OD3. In their place came flangers, compressors, and expression pedals: types of pedals he’d never used with Radiohead.
However, it seems like Jonny found a setup he was fairly happy with by the end of the fall 2022 tour. His latest live board is quite similar to the one used during March 2023 recording sessions for the band's upcoming second album, but even so there are a couple surprises!
A photo of Jonny's guitar board at Philadelphia's Franklin Music Hall on July 8, 2023 (photo by Gio H.). He used this setup for the band's North American tour spanning 14 shows in June and July.
Guitar ->
Peterson StroboStomp HD tuner
MXR Dyna Comp compressor
EHX Freeze Sound Retainer
EHX Pitchfork pitch shifter
Boss SD-1 Super Overdrive
EQD Hizumitas fuzz
Telenordia/Tortenmann TA-24 Treble Booster
Boss DD-200 delay
Akai Headrush E2 delay/looper
Boss RE-202 Space Echo delay/reverb
EQD Pyramids flanger
Toadworks True Bypass (laptop send/return loop)
Lehle P-Split III signal splitter (A/B) <
(A) Radial JDI Stereo direct box <
Radial Ch1 LOW-Z output -> FOH Mixer
Radial Ch1 THRU output -> Fender ’65 Reissue Super Reverb
(B) Strymon Iridium -> Radial JDI Stereo direct box (Ch2 LOW-Z output) -> FOH Mixer
The small lamp over the board is a Mighty Bright HammerHead music stand light.
Jonny previously used a Peterson StroboStomp HD with his Sequential Circuits Prophet 5 on the Smile's 2022 tour. But this is the first time he’s been seen with one on his guitar board. It replaces the Boss TU2 he’s used since the earliest Smile shows.
The Telenordia Treble Booster is borrowed from Thom. The Telenordia is still marked with Thom’s guitar settings, from when he used it on You Will Never Work In Television Again during December 2021 rehearsals.
Thom stomping on Jonny's current Telenordia Treble Booster during a rehearsal on December 2, 2021 (youtube).
On Radiohead tours since OK Computer, Jonny has always brought a Vox AC30 — an amplifier well-known for its low and mid gain sounds. With an AC30, Jonny can get different flavors of overdrive by balancing between clipping from the pedal (using the pedal’s gain control) and clipping from the amp (using the pedal’s volume/boost control). And of course, he’d use his separate Shredmaster+Eighty-Five chain for heavy distortion on older songs.
But on tour with the Smile, Jonny has been using a Fender ’65 Reissue Super Reverb, an amp with much more headroom than the Vox thanks to a combination of higher wattage and negative feedback. As a result, we hear the overdrive pedal’s sound more clearly — the Boss SD1’s mid-rangy sound is especially noticeable on live versions of Thin Thing. So it makes sense that even Jonny would want to experiment with multiple dirt pedals for different flavors.
Jonny was first seen using an MXR Dyna Comp in a rehearsal photo, most likely taken when preparing for the fall 2022 tour (despite being posted in 2023). Thom and Ed have both previously used the pedal as well. Thom toured with a Dyna Comp only briefly before switching to his current Telenordia Kompressor. So it's interesting that Jonny first toured with a Kompressor (last year), but has gone the other way and switched to a Dyna Comp.
For those curious about the rhythmic delay setting marked on Jonny’s Akai Headrush E2, check out behind-the-scenes photos from The Smile’s Tiny Desk show. However, so far we’ve still only heard the pedal used as a looper.
Placing his Boss RE-202 after his Headrush allows Jonny to add ambient effects to his loops, as he does during the live outro of Skirting On The Surface.
Jonny first used a Strymon Iridium at a performance of Steve Reich's Electric Counterpoint at the Hidden Notes festival on September 25, 2022. For that show, it replaced his amp. But with the Smile, he’s using it as a backup for his Super Reverb.
A photo of Jonny's pedalboard from a November 2022 show in Anthem, DC (Facebook).
UPDATE: we originally listed the Telenordia TA-24 Treble Booster as a Telenordia TA-100 Overdrive. Thank you to Kayky for noticing!
#The Smile#Jonny Greenwood#Radiohead#Burn The Witch#Feral#You Will Never Work In Television Again#OK Computer#Skirting On The Surface#A Light For Attracting Attention#Thom Yorke#Ed O'Brien
44 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
promisesox
nefelibata
divinerecoverymentalhealthcare
Divine Recovery
xkyu-blog
living for this love
pigeonhole34
pigeonhole
confessionsofalezbatron-blog
Not too far from home...