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slut4-haydenchristensen · 3 months

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jason: who the fuck-

bruce: language

jason:

jason: WHOM the fuck-

bruce: NO-

#inspiration: sammys-magical-au on tumblr #bruce is so tired #batfamily #jason todd #red hood #red hood dc #bruce wayne #batman #incorrect batman quotes #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #batfam #dc comics #dc universe #dcu #jason and bruce #bruce is a good dad

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jarro-stan-account · 2 years

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Duke: Ayo, what the FUCK is this

Jason, sitting down, surrounded by a pile of corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what

#They’re dumbasses your honor #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #bruce is so tired #batman #batfamily #dc universe #jason todd #duke thomas #red hood #signal #did you guys ever go to those youth groups where these games got really intense?

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sheiyavlad · 2 years

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Halloween countdown pt. 1

The batkids forced Bruce to dress up. He finally caved.

Halloween countdown pt.1

The batkids forced Bruce to dress up. He finally caved.

#fanart #dc #batman #batfamily #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #bruce is so tired #Alfred is even more tired #halloween #Cosplay?

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terracyte · 2 years

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take a shot every time zdarsky lets us know bruce has a broken heart

#basically he was bait for a demon in issue 7 because anton just absolutely broke his heart #and the symbols amplify his emotions #and they looked dope so i drew em #bruce is so tired #he is hurting #also ye thats the 2004 v of him cause hes my baby #also his hair in the knight is impossible for me #every young bruce i draw is 2004 bruce there ive decided #bruce wayne #batman #dc #terra art

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outoftimewriting · 1 year

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idk if someone has already written it, but i need something were (tiny? de-aged?) tim just gaslights the batfamily into believing he was there the entire time

he forges adoption papers. that's it, that's the plot.

(although I'm also very fond of the completely opposite crack of Tim being like "i rather be an employee thank you and good night")

#tim drake #tim drake wayne #tim drake is a goblin #batfam headcanons #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #bruce is so tired #he is like may as well #tim is gaslight #barbs is gatekeep #steph is girlboss

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wheezyonline · 2 years

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jason is most definitely the “bad decisions, let’s go piss of bruce” brother.

i had an idea get stuck in my head. and i was just like; imagine damian’s eighteenth birthday and almost everything is legal now. so he gets it in his little head to go to jason, and jason is like “let’s get the raunchiest piercings we can think of.”

so obviously damian is like, “absolutely of course!”

and they go to some seedy tattoo shop and get nipple piercings. and to show off their bad decision making like three months later jason is like; “i dare you to walk around shirtless”

and damian is like; “i ain’t no punk,” and takes off his shirt then and there showing off his fully healed piercings—only because he has a weird healing factor from the pit— and goes into the kitchen to terrorise his family.

alfred says a curse word, tim is making eye contact with jason who is in the doorway trying not to lose his shit while laughing, stephanie is giggling hysterically, and dick is choking on his cereal. bruce has yet to enter the kitchen and as soon as damian is readying to leave the kitchen here comes the man in question.

the only response he gets is a heavy sigh and bruce proceeds to simply turn around and look at jason, who is faking innocent with his hands held behind his back twisting his foot in a way only anime girls do and whistling, his shirt is most definitely too tight around his chest and shows off his own piercings.

bruce: this was your idea

jason: i have no idea what you mean, i am but an innocent bystander

bruce: i’m going back to bed, alfred please bring me breakfast later

i will come back and revise this when i’m not the minutes away from passing out.

psst!!! i’m wheezyonline on ao3, go check me out!!

#battinson #batman #batfam #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #stephanie brown #tim drake #alfred pennyworth #jason todd is a bad influence #bruce is so tired

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snazzy-laundry-boi · 2 years

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stephanie brown is the kimmy gibbler of gotham in the sense that she just waltzes into wayne manor whenever she feels like it

#stephine brown #batfam #bruce is so tired #spoiler

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meekmedea · 2 years

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Slade Wilson

“You know, some might call that jealousy,” noted a familiar voice. “And I think you just might be.”

Medea jumped in surprise, turning to see Slade’s smug expression. “I–Slade,” she says, trying desperately and failing to hide her shock. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So, you weren’t spying on him.”

“No.” Though the answer was a little bit too fast to be true.

`

The amusement was clear in his voice. “Aww, don’t worry, kid. You’re still my favourite Wayne.”

“I’d have thought it was Dick with your offer to become an apprentice.” Except the moment the words were out, Medea covered her mouth with her hands. Oh no. And just like that she knew that all had been lost.

`

“Who said I was talking about Richard?” Slade laughed, knowing full well that she’d been listening earlier. “Medea, you don’t even want to be a mask. Why would I ask you?”

A scoff escaped her and she tried to mimic Talia’s air of indifference. “It wouldn’t hurt to be asked,” she muttered.

`

“Ok. Then would you like to be my apprentice?”

“No.”

“See?”

“It’s different, Slade. It’s the principle of it.”

“Of course it is.” Though his tone suggested otherwise. At her sulky look, he placates her with, “Fine, fine. The next time I seek out an apprentice, I’ll ask you first. How’s that?”

“Better,” she huffed.

`

He laughs. “So, how was that career day project of yours? A doctor, hmm?”

“Yeah.” Medea doesn’t ask how Slade knows, because she knows the adults in her life are all powerhouses in their own right. Gaining information like from her career day project is mere child’s play.

“Admirable career.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you want hands on experience? I could pull some strings and get you working under Dr. Villain for a term or two.”

Medea shot Slade a wary look. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t think I’m allowed to join villainous organizations till I’m twenty-one.”

`

“Villain is just his surname. It has nothing to do with his profession, kid. He’s chief of staff at a medical centre.”

“Oh. Cool. Do you think,” she trails off hesitantly. “Do you think you could introduce me to him?”

~~~~~~~

“You’re the best, Slade!” says Medea, hugging the man. “I mean it!”

Bruce’s eyebrow twitched as he watched the scene playout from across the room. The glass in his hand threatened to shatter as the seconds ticked on. He was not jealous, he chanted in his head. He was not jealous.

Wilson shot him a smug smile as before turning to listen to Medea.

`

Originally with Dick’s welcome into their family, Bruce had been focused on getting his youngest comfortable and feeling part of the family. Then afterwards it was on Dick’s Robin training, and fussing over Robin’s first few patrols.

He felt bad for neglecting Medea. Something Alfred had noted, and told him to get his act together. Well, in gentler words, but the meaning was clear. So he’d attended this event at the museum, hoping to surprise her with his attendance and to spend time with his youngest daughter.

Needless to say, it had backfired spectacularly. She’d barely spent five minutes by his side before she disappeared from his side. From there, Medea mostly stuck by Slade Wilson’s side.

`

He wasn’t jea–

“Bruce? Are you okay, you look constipated.”

He snapped out of his thoughts to see Dick staring curiously. “Oh, err…I’m fine. Just got lost in my thoughts.”

Dick made a sound that told him that this was going to be a very, very, long night.

`

So when he hears Medea’s voice directed at him – the first time in hours, tonight! –Bruce immediately whips his head to look for her.

“Dad! Dad!”

“Medea?”

“You’re not going to believe it! Look!” she says excitedly as she came over to show him the email on her phone. “There was this research position, and I got in! Slade helped.”

“It was all Medea, really,” demures Slade, appearing to join her.

`

Wilson? Being humble? Please. But there really wasn’t much Bruce could do, but smile and nod. Even if Wilson was looking all too smug as Medea went on.

He is so proud of his daughter, but why – oh why did she have to befriend a mercenary? Especially this one.

#bruce wayne #jason todd #slade wilson #female jason todd #reverse robins #bruce is so tired #your (not-so) typical school day au #reverse robins au

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amaraudermind · 2 years

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What is Stephanie and Bruce's relation?

Steph: I'm Bruce's daughter-in-law

Bruce: You aren't married to any of my kids?

Steph: Yet >:)

Bruce: You aren't even dating any of them??

Steph: Currently >:)

Bruce:...

Steph: >:)

#stephanie brown #bruce wayne #dc #batman #void posts #this is just my ideal version of their relationship #steph says it just to annoy bruce #cass and tim take turns randomly telling bruce they proposed to steph so she's really joining the family now #bruce is so tired #jason said it once just to watch the bruce's silent breakdown #anyway

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redsray · 2 months

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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

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adhdslugcrimes · 30 days

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Jason, had a nightmare and going to one person he's went to for years as a Robin.

Jason: Dickface, I had a nightmare.

Dick, half asleep: welcome to the club.

Jason: what do I do about it?

Dick: wait until it goes to college and becomes someone else's nightmare.

Jason, unimpressed: less snark dip shit.

Dick, sighs scoots over and pats his bed:

Jason: don't you think I'm to old to sleep with you?

Dick: listen, the way I see it because it's too damn early to be thinking about other options, is you either get into bed and I hold you like I did when you were 8 and I go back to dreaming about stabbing B, or you go back to your room and I still go back to my dream stabbing B. The choice is yours.

Jason:

Dick:

Jason:

Dick:

Jason, getting into bed with Dick: tell anyone about this and I'll kill you.

Dick, holds his sixteen yo brother: goodnight littlewing.

#dick grayson #jason todd #batfam #Dick is too tired to think so it's cuddle woth your older brother or leave #stabbing Bruce either way #i will put that eldest daughter syndrome on tbis man if it's the last thing I do

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frownyalfred · 8 months

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Clark: why are you like this

Bruce, three seconds away from dropping a glass of champagne on the floor, dramatically slipping in the pieces, and falling into the lap of the senator they’re trying to get information out of in a bizarre, sleep-deprived, but likely wildly successful seduction attempt: can you just let me have this please

#he’s tired ok #he has to be serious ALL the time #let him have fun #seriously though if he’s so good at manipulating people but he keeps a tight leash on himself #Brucie is his stress relief #bruce wayne #batman #dc #superbat #clark kent #superman #also he’s a Scorpio

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azulhood · 1 month

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Danny was tired, like 'I feel it in my bones and soul' tired. And he didn't want sleep at home because there's only so many nights, he could spend lying awake making sure his heart was beating in case his parents checked on him.

Currently he was flying aimlessly not really taking in his surroundings, but he could neither sleep while flying or fly forever. Normally he'd sleep over at Sam or Tucker's, but the Mansons had made it clear that he wasn't welcome at their house anymore and Tucker was grounded. Both would sneak him in if he asked, but he didn't want them to get in trouble for him. Which leads him to decide between his two choices, sleeping in a graveyard, or sleeping in a forest.

The graveyard was a little crowded with all the ghosts that called it home but he could probably find a quiet spot to sleep. The forest had a great view of the stars but was filled with traps from both his parents and the GIW after tracking his ecto-signature. Both options weren't appealing, but he wasn't about to chance sleeping on the roof of his house again. There were too many ghost detecting guns attached to it now. Danny sighed, graveyard it was, at least the ecto from all the shades/ghosts would hide him well enough. Decision made, now all he had to do was make his way over there. But first, where the heck was he? Danny looked around at the unfamiliar grey sky and gargoyles littered around and realized he had no clue where he was. He must have flown too far away from Amity without noticing...Again. It was really becoming a bad habit. Danny stared down at the city's inhabitants that were going home or heading to nightshifts or whatever and dreaded the long flight back to his town. And maybe it was ghost instinct, or maybe it was just his exhaustion. But his brain suggested 'What if I just possess someone?' And to him that seemed like a perfectly logical train of thought. He wouldn't control their body or anything, just sleep in their skin...That did not make it sound better at all. Before he could think twice, someone left a general store, arms filled with stuff and somehow projecting an aura of safety. The two thoughts of 'They look comfy' and 'screw it' clashed together in his head as he made the very stupid decision of performing a swan drive right into the someone. "WHAT THE-" "Don't worry, I'll be gone by morning I just need to sleep" Danny cut off the persons freakout-he should really get their name at some point- he would have explained more but the sleep gods had already done their job. This left one very confused, scared, and freaked out Batkid.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #I don't know which batkid it should be #I'm thinking Dick or maybe Stephenie #I feel like Steph would be the most chill about a ghost using her body as a sleeping bag #Cass and her just straight up adopt the tired ghost boy who talks in his sleep and says the most distressing things #Bruce didn't even have a chance #Danny is gonna be so confused when he wakes up

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cosmicwar · 2 years

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