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1800jjbarnes · 7 months

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◇ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟔: 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡/𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐱 - 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 ◇

Whoops

【Synopsis】 : You wanted to show your hot-headed lover that you could protect yourself. And what better way than to go looking for his number on rival....

『W.C』 : 3.07k

-> Genre: Mafia Au. Smut. Angst.

Pairing: MobBoss!San x F.Reader

[Warnings] : Mention of criminal activity. Flirting. Manipulation. Seducing disgusting men (ew). Sweet talking, dirty talk, making out, neck kisses. Biting and marking. Aggressive Bucky. Pet names. Mention of guns. Abuse. Fucking in public (kinda). Bucky is literally crazy and you love it hehe. Punishment. Swearing. Fingering. Pussy slapping. Degrading. (use of slut). Praise. Head-spinning vibes. Spit cause Bucky likes it dirty and messy. Death. You both are sadistic and crazy okay this is pure filth.

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You had enough. All he did was worry about you and your way of life. He worried to the point the point he became paranoid. Adding more guards at almost every door of your home and always making sure there was someone by your side. In truth, you did appreciate him for worrying, but not to the point of him locking you in the house cause "The outside world is a bad place."

That was the last straw. He can't just lock you away like some doll that just sits and looks pretty for him. You were strong, hold your own. Just because you weren't born into this dark life doesn't mean you couldn’t handle it. So, to say you were fuming was putting it lightly.

You devised a plan, granted probably a stupid plan, but a plan nonetheless. To bring Bucky the one man that's been tormenting him into thinking you were unsafe. His enemy John. A ruthless, dimwitted mob boss on the border of Brooklyn and Queens. He didn't own much land, but he made up for it in trade. Bucky and him had been fighting for territory for years. And their fathers before that. So, of course, if you were to bring John to grovel at Bucky's knees for even better, just kill him. It would solve your problems.

Go big or go home, right?

You were dressed to impress. A lavish tight dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and heels that you were already begging to take off as they scratched your ankles. You were dolled up to perfection, and the best thing was that no one knew who you were. Sure, they knew of you, the infamous woman who stole the heart of the cold and cruel King of Brooklyn. But no one had a face to a name, Bucky made sure of that.

So you kind of thanked his overprotectiveness at this moment. But this was no time to thank your hot-headed lover. This was time to prove to him—and yourself—that you were more than capable of being in this dark world, his world.

You weaved through people of the loud nightclub, drawing attention from most of the men in the room. All of them were likely criminals in some way that you were aware of. In this world, no one's hands are clean. You also knew that this bar was what people called open danger. This meant no one owned it, and it was a "safe space" for gangs to strike deals with one another, and people in the underworld could mingle.

That also meant it was no man's land, where anyone and everyone was vulnerable.

Bucky had told you about these types of bars, and of course, he also said never to go to one. But here you were scanning the field of people to find who you were looking for. You did some digging and managed to find out that John liked to converse in this particular club and that he also, always without fail, took a girl home from said place. So that's what you were going to do;

Be the bait and make him fall.

Your heart was racing, but you kept a straight face. Quickly reaching into your bag and finally turning on your phone and not even a second, messages and missed calls flooded your notifications. Bucky would have found out by now that you were missing and tried using your phone tracker to find you. But given your phone was off, he would have been rageful knowing he couldn't find you. You scanned some of the messages

'Baby, where are you? Answer me, please.'

'You better not be somewhere stupid'

'I swear to god when I find you, you're in for the punishment of your fucking life.'

The last one made you feel a little dizzy. And now that your phone is back on, Bucky would surely show up here at any moment. So you had to act fast, in order for your plan to work. Spotting John sitting in an open booth with two guards on either side, you acted on your plan. All those drama classes you took as a kid were about to pay off, as you waltzed over with your hips swinging enough to get his attention. His eye immediately scanned your figure sickeningly. He was scum, a pig, and honestly a terrible criminal.

But you needed him gone. To end Bucky's stress once and for all. You learnt the rules of the game, watched how mob bosses played their hand, and now it was your turn to join.

"This seat taken?" Your voice was sweet as candy, making anyone melt from the tone. You battered your eyes and bit your lip, falling easily into the role of sweet and innocent. The pig was instantly intrigued, wanting you to be near him. He didn't say anything, no, he just patted the booth seat next to him, widening his thighs in a poor attempt to "show off" his physique to you.

You just giggled even though you'd rather puke. But you needed to do this now or never. Bucky would definitely be on his way now, and time was running short. So the art of sweet talking began. You laughed at his stories, placing lingering touches on his shoulders and chest. Your face sat a little too close to his at some points, almost daring him to kiss you. You were seductive, observant, and cutthroat.

That's how you ended up leading him to a private booth out the back with his guards long but forgotten at the original seating place. His hands gripped your hips as his disgusting lips found your neck while his bad breath pooled near your poor nose.

Your fingers tangle in his oily hair, keeping his head near you. He trailed before reaching your large necklace. His gross chapped lips kissed your gold pendant. His inner lip grazed the beautiful Aquamarine, Bucky's signature gemstone. His birth gem. But John obviously didn't take in that detail.

"You are the sexiest thing I've ever seen." He grumbles finely, pulling away to look at you with hooded eyes. Your stomach turned, but your smile never faltered. The urge to punch him was high, but you pushed your feelings aside as you placed your hand on his thigh with a slight tilt of your head.

"Aren't you a charmer." You giggled. "But talking isn't really my...thing."

His eyes widened, breath hitching in his chest as he bit his lip. "Well, well, what is your thing, hot stuff?"

You got up slowly, making sure his eyes never left your figure. You double-checked in your surroundings in the meantime, making sure you were still alone—which you were—, before seductively lifting your dress, letting him get a pervy view on your legs.

"My thing involves something more..." You placed your heeled foot right on the edge of his chair, letting the top of your foot rest onto his bugle, pressing down slightly, making him hiss. "...Firey."

You pulled out the small gun that was on your thigh holster, placing it perfectly in aim with John's gross forehead. His eyes widened, visibly gulping. Before he could protest his shock, a loud bang followed by gunfire was heard throughout the club.

If you timed this correctly, it was currently three-thirty in the morning, and you innocently tipped the manager of this club that a flush-out would take place and that everyone needed to be out of said club by at least three AM, leaving you alone with John and his bodyguards.

“W-what did you do?” John growled trying to stand up but the pressure on his stupid cock got firmer, making him silence his high-pitched whine in an instant. You showed no emotion, not a single expression to help him read you. He was completely at your mercy. And as if his heart couldn’t sink more into his throat, when he saw who walked through the curtained door frame made the beat in his chest stop.

“So this is where my darling ran off, too.” Bucky's deep rumble could make anyone melt, especially you. You could feel his gazing eyeing you, but not like how John did prior. It was filled with desire, possessiveness, and greed. His steps echoed in the silent door, making the cowardly male below you flinch. But you didn't falter, keeping your gaze on the man that caused so much annoyance in your life, pain in Bucky's life. A pest that you were more than willing to exterminate at the command of your lover.

“I knew, you’d look hot with a gun in your hand.” Bucky's voice whispered in your ear, biting your lobe slightly. You tried not to close your eyes and fall into your lover’s embrace, but his cologne was drawing you in like a siren to a pirate at sea. You might have been pissed off at him prior to coming here, but now all you wanted is him to hold you, treat you like the royalty he believes you are. “I see you caught me a rat.”

His feline smile painted his features, making John look anywhere other than the larger mob boss. You just hummed, tilting your head slightly before leaning more forward, putting more pressure on John's manhood. “Anything to get you to stop stressing.” Was the only thing you could follow with, suddenly feeling him grab your chin, turning your face to finally look at him.

His eyes were red, most likely from crying cause even though he was this big mafia leader, he was in touch with his emotions, even crying when you two watch sappy romance films. His hair was messy and not slicked back as he usually had it. He was messier, but in the eyes of anyone else, they would only see a terrifying cruel man with a stare that could kill. But you saw through that. The chaos in his mind. The stress and loneliness. He was most definitely freaked out about you missing prior to this ordeal. But this needed to be done, even though you feel a slight twang of guilt. “I did this all for you. I would do anything for you… My love.”

You meant every word, and Bucky knew it. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to punish you for disappearing and almost causing him a heart attack. His lips attached to your neck, inhaling your scent while he sucked a red mark on your skin. he didn’t know what he did to deserve such a seductive, slightly sadistic bitch such as yourself. God, he was madly in love sometimes he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Well, I think this calls for a game.” Bucky clicked his fingers, making two of his high-end bodyguards come in to ‘help’ with your friend. The large guards tied John up tightly to the chair, also covering his mouth with tape, letting you finally take your foot off his jewels. You lowered your gun, letting Buck wrap his hand over the top before latching his lips on yours, sinking you in for a deep, harsh kiss. He switched the safety on without even looking before playing the gun in his back pocket all the while his hands grasped your hips, drawing you near. You could feel his bugle against your tummy, moaning against his wet tongue before he pulled away;

“The game we are going to play is called ‘what you couldn't have’.” He turns to John, “You being yourself there, Walker.” His smile was sinister, eyes filling with filthy ideas. “You are going to watch me fuck the life out of my wife and then she gets to shoot you. Doesn’t that sound like fun.” He bit his bottom lip, eyes wide with excitement and craze. You inhaled sharply hearing his words. Feeling Bucky prop you up onto the bar table in the corner of the room but still in complete view of John.

Bucky got to quick work, pulling down the straps, letting your tits spring free, ripping the large necklace off with it as he snapped the straps of the gown. His lips latched on your left nipple while he pinched the other with his fingers, rolling the bud against his thumb. You moaned in a high-pitched tone, feeling electricity pool down your shiver. Your legs spread wider, making your dress ride up and Bucky slip in between. His hips ground against yours, gifting you a groan from him. “Mine.” He mumbles against your breasts. “All mine.”

John groaned, trying to move, but in toe only moved the chair slightly. This caught the attention of Bucky and yourself, making your lover stand up straight. “Now, now, John. Your time will come soon.” The mob boss didn’t even look over to the coward in the chair, just giving in a cold reminder that he was certainly going to die by the event's end. Bucky's hand cupped your soaking cunt making your eyes snap back to his. Biting your bottom lip, staring at him with hooded eyes, your eyebrows slowly knitted together as he pushed a finger and then a second soon after into your pussy. “Not wearing panties is very naughty baby, that’s another point added to punishment.”

You seemed to be racking up for a punishment later, most likely when you were in the comfort of your own bedroom. But for now, Bucky fucked your cunt with his metal fingers at such a harsh pace you couldn't hear the world around you as your ears rang and your moans bounced off the dark painted walls. “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck J-Jamess.”

He pulled out and slapped your pussy, hard. “Good girls don’t have dirty mouths, another point.” He mumbled giving your pussy another whack before he pushed his cold fingers inside you again. You cried, feeling yourself tip over before you could voice your plea, squirting all over the table and Bucky's fingers and arm, making his button-up, soaked in your juices.

“I-..mm I’m sorry.” You apologized for coming without his permission, but he didn’t seem to approve. Pulling you off the table, he turned you around, letting your dress fall completely off completely. You heard the zipper of his slacks feeling heat pour from your cunt. Swaying your ass side to side, you begged. “Please fuck me, sir, I’ll be good. I promise.”

His cock snapped into you without a second thought, pulling your top half up so your back was flushed against his chest. His mouth bit down on your shoulder causing you to scream in pain but his cock nestled so deep inside you made your head spin in pleasure. “Good? You think after you’ve been acting like a slut, throwing yourself on this loser and coming without my permission I’ll forgive you? My sweet dumb baby. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that stupid airhead brain of yours.”

His words stung in the best way possible and if it was said by any other man you would have fought back. But Bucky made it sound too delectable. “I’ll be good, I promise.” You tried to beg again even though, you knew deep down it was useless.

“Promise?” He thrusted with his word. “Good?” He thrusted again. “The only thing you’re good for is being my sweet little cock sleeve while I fucked you full.” He cupped your face squeezing your cheeks together so you could look at him. “That I promise.”

He let you go, making you fall onto the table. Your hands gripped the oak wood as you felt every harsh thrust that Bucky did. His balls hit your clit in the right movement. Everything was overwhelming but perfect at the same time. You needed to come again, needed him to come. “Bucky please I need..I need your come.”

His dark chuckle sent shivers down your spine, making you look over your shoulder, but before you could make eye contact with your lover, your eyes locked onto John. He had plea in his features, silently begging to be let free. And as you cast your gaze down, you noticed his aching bulge threw his pants. Pig, you thought. Buckg noticed as well, suddenly pulling out so he could swing you around placing you back on the table, his strong grip holding you in place as he entered your abused cunt again. “Want my come baby? Such a good baby, asking for her fill. Don’t worry darling I’ll give you what you want."

And with that, his thrusts got faster, even if that was possible. You felt so high from him that you were floating on a cloud, and no one other than San could touch you. “Jamie I—It’s okay baby, come for me,” He finished your sentence letting you tip over the edge, creaming deliciously on his cock while he squirted his hot seed deep inside you.

“Fuck, baby.” Bucky groaned seeing all his juices mixing with yours. He spat on your clit, making you moan as he rubbed his saliva in with your cum. Bucky always had to be messy, even when you were in public. Before you could say anything, a large cough caught your attention, and Bucky's. It was John, the tape around his mouth had blood spewing from all sides, and his eyes started to leak a red crimson. He was thrashing around, trying to escape whatever was him his body, but all he managed was to tip the chair on his side, making him let out a huff along with gargled coughs. And with a last shallow breath, he suddenly stopped dead….

“Whoops…” was all you said, making Buck snap his gaze quickly back to you. His face was painted with a ‘what the fuck’ expression. You almost completely forgot that the Gem on your necklace was laced with poison, and John "happened’’ to kiss it, ingesting the poison that was slowly activating. “Nat gave me a poisoned necklace..”

Bucky immediately knew what that meant, and he kinda thanked the Lord that the necklace got ripped off when he tore the dress off. “Impressive.” Was all he said, pushing himself forward slightly, feeling your overly sensitive cunt squeeze him. “Fuck, I could fuck you again if it wasn’t for the dead corpse behind us.”

“That hasn’t stopped you before.” You tilted your head while biting your bottom lip. He just grumbled moving in to bite your neck again;

“You are the death of me, darling.”

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dandelionprints · 8 months

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Don't Be Late

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Y/N (lil bit of fluff, angst, tormented Tommy and comfort)

Summary: When Tommy makes a promise to his wife he could never imagine that breaking it could potentially cost Y/N her life.

Warnings: bad language, a couple of slur words as used in the show *not words that I myself deem acceptable!*, a lot of violence, mentions of injuries, blood and death. Reader discretion is advised, do not read if you feel uncomfortable with this kind of content

Word Count: This is a long one coming in at 6,800k

A/N: It's been a while since I've written a full blown fic but I was on a roll so I just went with it! I hope you enjoy, please do like, reblog and/or comment your thoughts on it, I really appreciate the feedback x

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"It's been three days, Pol. Why won't she wake up?"

He leant forwards in his chair, a hand gently grasping Y/N's as she lay motionless on her hospital bed. Her body was battered with violent purple bruises and cuts covering what seemed to be every inch of her body.

The last three days had been hell, with a mixture of so many emotions running through him that he didn't know where to put and the not knowing. Worry, anger, sadness. Guilt. So much guilt, it consumed him.

Tommy wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to forgive himself for not being there to protect her. It could be said that it was a case of "wrong person, wrong time", but that did nothing to subside the sense of dread that filled his stomach whenever he thought about the brutality his wife had been through, all because of him. How scared she must have been on her own waiting for him to come and save her, but he came too late.

"Give her time, Tom. She's been through a lot, her body’s trying to heal, we can't rush these things. Besides, the doctor said this morning that the swelling and bleeding has started to go down so she is getting better. Slowly. We just have to be patient", Aunt Polly delicately placed her hand on his shoulder, softly stroking her thumb back and forth over the newly clean shirt.

Polly had brought a clean set of clothes to the hospital after seeing that Tommy was too terrifed to leave Y/N at the hospital alone for even a second, leaving him wearing blood soaked clothes for the first day. Y/N's blood.

"I should've been there Pol. None of this would've happened if I hadn't gotten too cocky and dragged John and Arthur down to London to Sabini's club. All this for a fucking business expansion"

He lowered his head and brought his free hand to his forehead, pinching at the sides as if to relieve some of the stress growing with tension there.

"Fuck!", he shouted before quickly covering his face with his hand.

Tommy could feel tears springing to his eyes as he glared down between the gaps in his fingers at the speckled hospital floor. He was so tired of crying in the presence of anyone that wasn't Y/N since the night this whole shit show happened, it made him feel weak knowing other people could see that in fact, yes, Tommy Shelby does have emotions. Y/N was the only one he'd been able to willingly show any kind of vulnerable emotion to since he'd returned from the war.

The sound of a lighter flicking open followed by the quick sizzle of a cigarette being lit came from behind him as Polly took a drag, before holding it within Tommy's line of vision.

"Here, take this".

He hesitated for a moment, making sure that no tears would fall, then slowly lifted his head and reached for the now softly glowing cigarette bringing it to his lips and taking a long pull, exhaling the smoke as if it were the stress partially releasing from his body.

Aunt Pol watched him carefully, almost as if she were waiting to see if he was going to explode like a ticking time bomb or finally let his shoulders relax and sink into the chair. She was thankful when he chose the latter, slowly leaning back against the wooden frame, still holding onto Y/N's hand.

"You should go back to the house, Tom. Get some rest. I'll stay with her until you come back", she spoke softly, her own eyes tired from the constant secret worrying she'd been doing as well as sitting with Tommy next to Y/N's bed the last three days.

"No. I won't leave her, Pol. I can't leave her, it's my fault she ended up like this, I can't risk them coming back or the risk of her...", he stopped his words in their tracks as a lump formed in his throat. The tears that had only just subsided now came back, threatening to spill over, "Of her dying. Alone. Without me here letting her know she's safe, that I'm sorry. So fucking sorry"

Polly's face grew empathetic as she saw the pain etched all over Tommy's, the vacant glassiness of his eyes that had only grown darker over the past few days.

"She's not going to die..."

"She might, Pol!", his anger exploded then, the ticking time bomb she'd been waiting for had finally gone off.

The chair scraped on the floor as he stood, letting go of Y/N's hand, before turning to face his aunt who remained seated, not taking her eyes off him.

"How can you be so sure that she's gonna live, eh? How can you be so sure that she's ever going to open her eyes again?"

There was less accusation in his words than it seemed, more like a plead for some kind of reassurance or promise that the love of his life would be okay, that she'd return to the real world again.

Polly stood, then, calm and collected.

"Because I know Y/N Shelby, and so do you. She's a tough girl, it'll take more than Sabini and the fuckers who did this to take her down. Now, go home and get some sleep. I'll stay here with her, give her a wash and read some of your poetry outloud. The nurses say she can still hear what's going on around her, that she may even end up dreaming of things that are being said so we'll be having no more talk of death. John said he'll take the next shift of watching the door so tell him when you get back to come here. You know he won't let those bastards go anywhere near her if they so much as step foot near the hospital"

Polly’s eyes remained on him like a mother scolding her child until they did what they were told. She knew that he was still reluctatant to leave Y/N's bedside but felt relief when he subtly nodded to her, stubbing out his cigarette and picking up his coat before leaning over Y/N to place a kiss on her head, being careful to avoid the purpling bruise that was forming there.

"I'll be back in two hours, Pol, then you can go home and get some sleep", he said simply, making his way over to the door.

"Not two, six. You need a proper sleep"

He narrowed his eyes at her without saying anything, his lips twitching as if ready to disagree with what his aunt had said.

"I'd say eight but I know you won't be able to stay away for that long. What good are you to her if your eyes can't even focus on what the gun is aiming at? Go. Get some sleep"

Three days earlier

They'd agreed that they would meet at 8pm later that evening, after Tommy finished up with business for the day, where the family car was stored in the garage near the Shelby family home.

"Don't keep me waiting too long", she giggled, stroking his face with the palm of her hand.

"Who says you'll be waiting?", he smiled, taking the hand that was on his cheek and bringing it to his mouth, placing a soft kiss to it.

The Garrison hadn't opened for the day yet but the Peaky Boys were starting to gather at the bar, getting in a pint before the days business was about to begin. John and Arthur were already trying to place a bet with Isaiah about who could down the most pints before blacking out with Arthur claiming it to be him.

"Eh, lads! No more drinking until business is finished for the day, and Arthur, I could place twenty pound on it being anyone but you who could drink the most", Tommy interrupted, leading to a cackle of ladish jeers.

Y/N laughed before getting Tommy's attention once again, this time placing a finger beneath his chin and gently pulling his face towards hers.

"I know you, Tommy Shelby. You like to be on time when it's for business but business is also what makes you late to see me"

He felt a pang of guilt hit his stomach at her words, he knew she was right. He'd lost count of how many times he'd come home to find her curled up in front of the fire in his office fast asleep. How many times he'd either carried her up to bed or simply placed a blanket over her while he continued working into the early hours of the morning.

"I promise, love. I'll be at the garage at 8pm sharp"

This time he leant forward and touched his lips to hers, taking in the sweet flavour of her lips that he loved so much.

"Go on, Pol will be waiting for you"

She paused, "Is it bad to say that I don't believe you?"

"I promise, Y/N"

She wanted to believe the sincerity in his eyes but a tiny part of her knew that she'd more than likely be kept waiting out in the cold while he finished up business for the day.

"Okay", she half smiled, "I love you, Mr. Shelby"

Tommy kissed her then, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen across her face behind her ear.

"I love you too, Mrs. Shelby"

---

It was already dark by the time she'd made her way to their meeting point with only the glow from a firepit in the workshop opposite as the main source of light, rain flooding down onto the pavement outside in typical autumnal British fashion creating the sound of pattering on the old tin roof of the garage.

Y/N sighed as she leant against the black Ford Model T, taking a look at her watch. 8:03pm.

'Well, it's only three minutes late, let's see if he's here before four minutes late', she thought to herself.

There wasn't much to see in the garage other than old petrol can's and some oiled rags that had been dropped lazily on the floor, not that she could see much anyway with only the fire for her source. In fact, it only stretched as far as half the length of the garage, where unbenownsed to her there were men that were lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce on the unsuspecting victim.

"Get 'em!"

The sound of a thick London Italian accent echoed through the cold rickety room and all Y/N could think to do was to cower against the car, waiting to be manhandled in some kind of way, the panic instantly settling into her chest.

It was obvious that the men who now had their fists blowing punches to her face didn't have a clue it was in fact a woman they were beating and not a man, probably due to the fact the fire was doing little to show that she'd wrapped her scarf over her head to stop the rain from ruining her curls. They didn't realise until she mustered enough strength through the continuous punches to let out the loudest scream she could.

It was only then that the men took a step back as the same voice from before bellowed out, "Stop!"

She held her hands up to her face and felt a slick warm liquid quickly covering them, the skin beneath it sore to the touch. Her left eye was blurry from the mixture of what she could only assume to be blood and swelling, but she could just about make out the silhoutte of a slim man with a hat standing near the wall.

The adrenaline was already kicking in helping to keep some of the pain from showing it's full potential, but her fight or flight hadn't seemed to of made an appearance yet. All she could do was stand there, frozen to the spot, her hands still holding her bloodied face.

"You must be Tommy Shelby's missus", spoke the man with the hat, taking a step forward confirming in the dim light that it was who she'd feared it would be. Sabini.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?", he smirked, leering towards her only inches from her face, "Apologies for the misunderstanding, we thought you were Mr. Shelby"

Her heart dropped into her stomach at the thought that this beating was meant for Tommy, that she knew they intended to do more than land a few punches to his face. She spat at the ground infront of Sabini's feet.

"You're lucky it was me and not Tommy, he'd have your eyes the minute you laid your hands on him", she was surprised by how even she managed to keep her voice despite the sheer panic coursing through her.

Y/N knew it was a lie, that Tommy would be far too outnumbered to take on five of Sabini's men on his own especially without being able to see much.

Sabini laughed, throwing his head back slightly before stopping abruptly and grabbing onto each of her arms.

"You listen here you little princess, I don't think you quite understand the extent of how pissed off I am at your fella. You see, him and his brothers came to my club in London two nights ago. The Eden Club. A well run establishment, I'm sure you've heard of it. Anyway, they caused such a fucking scene that I've had to take matters into my own hands. I was planning on getting to Tommy, show him how scared he should really be about barging into one of my clubs, but it seems I may now have an even better way of sending that message".

Even with the light uneven across his features she could see a sly snarl creep onto Sabini's face, his breath fanning against her skin as he spoke. It was enough to make her want to wretch.

"Right boys, forget about Tommy. I want you to do what you were going to do to Tommy to her"

Her heart flew straight into her throat, threatening to jump out of her mouth at any moment. She wanted to throw up but the best thing she could do now would be to gain as much attention to passers by as she could. She screamed again only to have her mouth covered by Sabini as two men took over the hold on her arms.

"Listen here you little bitch, whether you like it or not, you're getting a beating. If Tommy's not man enough to face me himself and resorts to showing up to one of my clubs instead then this is what happens, someones pretty little face gets smashed in"

"You're a fucking creep! Tommy will be here any minute and I'm sure his brothers will be with him too, you won't know what fucking hit you!", she spat, the venom spewing from her mouth.

Sabini wasted no time in landing a hard slap against her already throbbing cheek making her splutter out whatever saliva she had left. He didn't leave it there though as his gripped both hands around her throat, squeezing as tight as he could.

"We'll be glad to see Tommy and his brothers, we can have a nice little catch up. Those boys couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery no matter how hard they tried so I'm not too worried. Carry on boys"

He let go of her throat leading her to gasp for air, her lungs felt like they were on fire with every harsh breath.

She didn't even have time to brace herself from the punch that was swiftly administered to her stomach, knocking out every bit of air she had managed to gain back, bringing her to the ground with a hard thump. Her head bounced off the ground sending a shockwave of pain running over her skull and down her neck.

The punches were now followed by the kicks of steel toe capped boots, each kick more painful than the last until she almost felt numb. Where the fuck is Tommy?

She wanted nothing more than to scream out for him, to hear him running towards the men with bullets flying, ready to put an end to this nightmare, but all she could do was sob as the pain coursed through her.

"Boys, hold her up", Sabini's voice cut through the sound of the thumps and thuds, his voice menacing laced with a sneer.

Two men gripped Y/N's arms and yanked her back onto her feet, knees buckling beneath her with one of her ankles too weak to bare any weight. She was pretty sure she had some broken ribs and that her ankle was much the same way but she knew there was nothing she could do about it now. The only thing she could do was let her head loll forwards with sheer exhaustion.

It was hard to keep her eyes open as her head was pulled up by a harsh grab of her hair, weakness taking over her entire body.

"Look at me. I said look at me!"

Another firm yank of the hair had her gaze just about managing to focus on Sabini, his eyes showing a glint of evil.

"I want you to tell your dirty gypsy husband that I'm coming for him next, if he wants to take over my race tracks then he's gonna have to fight for it"

"You're a fucking pig Sabini", her voice was hoarse as she spoke, her head longing to fall fowards again and let her eyes shut.

"Take my fucking name out of your mouth! 'Ere, Franco, take my name out of this scum's mouth"

She wasn't prepared for what came next as a blade was forced inside her mouth, her cheeks slowly being cut as well as a part of her lip. The taste of the metallic blood filled every tastebud, the only noise she was able to make were muffled groans as the cold metal sliced roughly through her skin.

Her body suddenly dropped to the floor once more, the sound of the mens foot steps starting to fade as they made their way towards the back of the garage and through a hole in the wooden panelling.

"Don't forget to give your husband my message, if you survive that is", Sabini's spoke, a chuckle following him as he finally left her and made his way out the same way as the other men.

She had no energy to even cry any more, a numbness enveloping her body and the blood still slowly seeping out of every cut she'd sustained.

She couldn't focus on anything now, the need for sleep becoming too great to keep her eyes open. She didn't even hear Tommy's footsteps quickly approaching the garage a minute later where she lay in a pool of her own blood. All she could do was let her eyelids drop as she slipped into darkness.

—

"Y/N! Oh fuck, Y/N!"

His cries bellowed through the bleak surroundings, the only movement to be seen was the flicker of the flames from the fire in his peripheral.

“John! Arthur! Where the fuck are you?”, he screamed into the night before turning his attention back to Y/N.

"C'mon Y/N you need to wake up now, c'mon sweetheart", his desperate pleas did nothing as he cradled her head, her blood soaking into his trousers. He could see her chest rising and falling but knew that it was getting slower and slower with every moment that passed by.

It'd only been a minute or so since he'd gotten there but he could've sworn it'd been more like an hour, his heart thumping so hard that he thought it would surely pop out of his chest.

"John! Arthur!"

Tears were streaming down his face, dripping onto Y/N's blood soaked cheeks, leaving streaks running through the red liquid.

He knew his brothers were meant to be on their way with the promise of a bed at Arrow House for the night. He just hoped that they would be sober enough to help deal with the chaos that was going on.

There was so much blood that he didn't know what to do. Sure, he could leave Y/N and go get help himself, but he didn't want to leave her alone for even a second. He'd already let her down once this evening and he'd be damned if he was going to let her die here alone on the cold stone floor, or have the people who did this to her come back and finish off the job.

John and Arthur came stumbling through the open door of the garage, an arm wrapped over each others shoulders as they laughed about how many women they'd managed to pull that night. As soon as they saw the scene in front of them though, the laughing soon stopped and they both straightened up, their eyes almost not wanting to look at the state before them.

"Who the fuck did this, Tommy? Where the fuck are they? I'll fuckin’ get 'em Tom I fuckin’ promise you, those bastards won't get away with this!" John's hands had grown into fists with his knuckles turning white, the anger twisting his face into pure hatred.

"It doesn't matter right now, John. Just go and get help, call a fucking ambulance!", Tommy looked to Arthur whose expression had turned more into terror than anything else, "Arthur, I need you to get Pol, tell her Y/N's hurt, badly. Tell her I need her here, I need... just get her Arthur, now"

It took a second longer than Tommy would've liked but both brothers soon turned and ran out towards the Shelby family home, their legs wobbling beneath them as they went.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so fucking sorry", Tommy sobbed as he gently stroked her face, pulling her in closer to him. His mind was racing with all the questions he was dying to know the answer to.

He knew he should be worrying about who it was that had done this to her but he was pretty sure he knew the answer to that already, and he wasn't about to waste what time he might have left with his wife thinking about that. No. All that mattered right now was that Y/N was going to live, that her eyes would open and she'd look up at him with that brilliant smile he loved so much to tell him that she was okay, that she was going to survive this.

Flashing lights appeared outside whilst Tommy had his head rested on Y/N's, whispering over and over again how sorry he was and how much he loved her. The pain he felt was all consuming and he knew he'd give anything to be in her position right now, just like it should have been.

Even when the medics came to retrive Y/N he couldn't bare to let her go, he insisted on carrying her into the back of the ambulance and holding her all the way to the hospital. They knew better than to argue with the Shelby man but managed to convince him to allow for her vitals to be monitored on the journey there, her pulse rate rapidly declining.

Polly hadn't arrived at the garage quick enough so Arthur had driven both Polly and John to the hospital at speed, swerving all over the road as they went, the tires slipping on the slick ground beneath them.

When they finally got there they saw Tommy disappearing through the double doors with Y/N still in his arms, a trail of blood on the floor behind him. This was going to be a long night.

—

The doctors had managed to get her heart rate back up to a reasonable pace by the time she was settled into a private hospital room. Fluids were being administered consistently alongside different medicines flowing through the tubes, her wounds now dressed with bandages and a thin blanket covering her black and blue body.

"Mr. Shelby, your wife has been through a terrible ordeal, it's a miracle she's still alive", a tall man with slicked blonde hair and glasses spoke, a clipboard and pen in his hands.

"When will she wake up?", Tommy tried to shake off his annoyance at the doctors statement of the obvious, of course this was a fucking terrible ordeal! Anyone with eyes could see that. He just wanted the facts that mattered most.

"Mr. Shelby, as I said, your wife has been through a terrible ordeal..."

Tommy grimaced, "I fucking know she has, don't you think I can see what's right in front of me? That and the fact I found my wife lying in a pool of her own blood half dead? Just tell me, when will she wake up?"

He was growing tired of not having answers to the main question he had and knew he wouldn't be able to relax until he had a definitive answer.

"The honest answer Mr. Shelby is that we don't know. To be blunt we're not sure if she's going to"

Tommy's heart dropped into his stomach.

"As you know, she's been through...", the doctor paused, not wanting to use the term 'terrible ordeal' again, "A lot. We've taken some images of her brain and we can see that she has some bleeding and swelling. We're not sure that she can recover from something like that, we can only hope that she will. Her injuries are severe, Mr. Shelby. As well as the damage to the brain she also has some internal bleeding, broken ribs, a collapsed lung, brusing to the esophagus, cuts to the inside of her mouth and a broken ankle. We're doing everything we can to ensure that she'll recover from this but it will take time. I'm sorry"

A ringing sounded in Tommy's ears, a noise so defeaning that he couldn't focus on anything right now other than the fact Y/N might not make it through this. His chest tightened and he found himself struggling to breathe, the sheer weight of the words he'd just heard sitting heavy on his chest.

"Are you okay, Mr. Shelby?"

"Leave. Now, please. Leave!"

The doctor wasted no time in carrying out Tommy's order as he scurried out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Tommy fell to the floor, his knee's weak and unable to hold him upright. He clutched his chest as he gasped for the air that seemed to have become so thin in the room. Tears that had gathered in his eyes began to fall and there was nothing more he could do than kneel there on the cold floor as his world came crashing down around him.

If he'd of been there at the time they'd agreed then this wouldn't have happened, not to Y/N anyway. It would be him laying in the hospital bed in front of him instead of her, or he'd be laying in a ditch somewhere ready for some poor passerby to find when dawn came.

He knew for a fact that the guilt that was growing in strength would never leave him even if she did make it out of this, that he'd always blame himself for not being on time.

A small knock on the door brought him shakily back up onto his feet again as he gripped onto the frame of the bed. Tommy managed to wipe away his tears just in time for Polly, John and Arthur to walk into the room.

He couldn't look at them, only at Y/N laying in the bed. Her lifeless body was slightly sinking into the mattress beneath her, a mess of hair covered in congealed blood surrounded her head.

"Is she going to be okay, Tom?", John's voice quietly cut through the silence like a knife.

Tommy took a moment before letting out a sigh, the lump in his throat wanting to escape and cause tears to come flooding out.

"I don't know. The doctor said that she's got bleeding and swelling on the brain amongst other things. They don't know if she's going to wake up".

The room stayed silent with no one wanting to say a word, both for fear of upsetting Tommy further and also because what else was there to say? There was nothing any of them could do to make the situation better or to make light of any of this.

Tommy took a seat next to Y/N's bed side and held her fragile hand, longing for her to wrap her fingers around his, but of course she didn't. Even that alone was enough to make his heart break.

"John. I need you to arrange for the blinders to be on a rotation of a look out. I don't want anybody coming in or out this hospital without us knowing about it. Arthur, take Isaiah and a couple of the blinders with you to London, I need you to find Sabini", Tommy spoke plainly, not taking his eyes off of Y/N.

"Yes, Tom", Arthur nodded, motioning for John to follow his lead out of the room.

"Oh, and Arthur? When you find him", Tommy turned to look at him now, his eyes cold but somehow a fire lit in them, "Bring him to me. Alive"

—

Three days later

As expected, Tommy arrived back at the hospital within four hours instead of the six Aunt Polly had ordered.

He couldn't sleep. Every time he'd managed to drift off he was soon awoken by nightmares of Y/N's screams as she was repeatedly kicked and punched, the sound each one of the blows made making his stomach churn. He could see her body laying there in a pool of blood with sobs wracking her chest... her calling out his name and him not being able to reach her even though he could see everything that was happening.

Tommy woke up in a cold sweat, his clothes soaked right through and his hair wet. He decided he was better off admitting defeat than to try going back to sleep, the thought of having to see those images of Y/N whenever he closed his eyes was enough to make his blood run cold.

His childhood home was quiet when he made his way downstairs. Ada had taken Finn to Arrow House under her watchful eye with Karl, it was better to be in a house that was stocked with firearms than back in London with nothing but a single pistol and where Sabini could be lurking in the shadows.

John had gone to the hospital to take the next watch and Arthur was somewhere in London seeking out Sabini and his lackeys, waiting to hand him a blow that would make the Italian man wish he'd never come to Birmingham.

Tommy decided on having a bath before putting on clean clothes, taking a look in the mirror before he left. His complexion had almost drained of colour over the past three days with the exception of the dark circles that appeared under his eyes, much darker than usual.

"God I hope she wakes up soon", he muttered to himself, adorning his peaky cap and reaching for the door handle before stepping out onto the bustling streets of Birmingham, lighting a smoke as he made his way to the hospital.

When he walked through the doors of Y/N's room he noticed something different. Aunt Polly was no longer sitting there with sadness in her eyes, instead she was stood next to the bed holding Y/N's hand, a small smile upon her face.

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion and his pace slowed as he approached her.

"What's happened?" he asked, nervous energy rushing through him.

"She moved, Tom. All on her own, she moved!"

Polly was beaming now, fresh tears sprang to her eyes and she had to resist the urge to hug him.

"What do you mean she moved?"

"I mean, I was reading her one of your poems and holding her hand. Her fingers started to move as if she was trying to tell me she could hear me. She's still in there Tommy"

His heart swelled in his chest although he didn't want to get his hopes up too much, there was nothing worse that breaking your own heart with false hope.

"It might've just been the nerves jumping, Pol. She probably doesnt have control of her body right now", he knew he sounded like dismissive bastard but he couldn't bring himself to believe that Y/N could do that but not open her eyes.

"Stop being so bloody negative Thomas. I'm telling you exactly what I saw with my own two eyes. Read to her yourself, you'll see", Polly scolded him, picking up the pages she'd left on her seat and going to hand them to him.

Tommy said nothing but shook his head towards the pages and instead took a step closer towards Y/N's bed.

Polly placed Y/N's hand in his and softly spoke, "Y/N love, if you can hear what we're saying then squeeze Tommy's hand, let us know that you're still there".

He held his breath as he waited to see if she'd respond, his eyes watching her fingers like a hawk.

"She's not moving, Pol. You're seeing things with the lack of sleep, go home and get to bed, I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere"

"Don't tell me what you think I may be or may not be seeing and certainly don't tell me what to do. You may be a man now Thomas but I'm still able to lay you across my knee and give you a good hiding", her eyes glared daggers into the side of his head as he continued to stare at Y/N's fingers, unmoving on top of his.

"I'm sorry Pol, I just can't... I just can't stand the thought of having the hope there that she'll show me she's okay if she never actually...", he stopped dead in his tracks.

His mouth dropped open and his gaze widened in shock as Y/N's fingers started to slowly lift upwards before coming back down to rest on top of his fingers, trying to curl themselves around his.

"Y/N? It's okay, I'm here. You're safe", he placed his free hand over hers and leant over to kiss her head, the bruises still prominent, "I'm sorry Y/N, I'm so fucking sorry".

Tommy couldn't hold back the tears that were coming and let them spill out to fall down her cheeks, the overwhelming burst of relief he felt within his soul was like nothing he could explain.

Polly stood with a hand over her mouth, a smile beneath her fingers.

"T-T-Tommy?..."

Did she just speak?

His head shot up, eyes wide in disbelief. When he caught the first glimpse of her face he could see that her eyes were slightly open. Her eyeballs had red spots on them where blood vessels had burst, either from the pressure of being strangled or from the numerous hits to the face she'd sustained. He tried to hide the shock that hit him and gently cradled her face with both hands, careful not to press down on the discoloured blotches that lay beneath them.

"You're awake, you're... I-I can't believe it", he stuttered, scanning her face for any kind of expression.

"Y-you... w-w-were... late", she croaked.

It was almost as if he'd taken a stab to the chest as her words met his ears and the guilt came flooding back.

"I know, I'm so, so sorry Y/N, I really am. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for this, not for as long as I live"

He stifled a sniff as his tears continued, a sob escaping his lips as his face screwed up into pure anguish.

"I-it's... okay", she murmered, taking a deep breath, "do-don't be... s-sorry... I-I'm j-just... glad i-it w-wasn't... you"

"No sweetheart, no. It's not okay, none of this is okay. Because of me, you're lying here in a hospital bed, completely black and blue with internal injuries and broken bones, all because I got too cocky and tried to challenge that fucker. I swear to you, Y/N. I'm gonna put a bullet between his eyes for this, he's not going to get away with it".

He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face and she smiled softly, the memory of him doing to same back in The Garrison just before she'd left him that day, just before all of this happened…

"H-he said t-t-to... g-give you a... m-message..."

"No, shh shh, it's okay. You don't need to tell me anything right now, you need to rest and get better. You can hardly speak. Tell me anything you need to when you start to feel better. All I care about right now is that I have you, here, alive. No amount of money nor business could come close to how happy I am right at this very moment"

Two Days Later

She'd been awake more frequently over the next couple of days with each day being better than the last. Her bruises had now started to turn a lighter shade of blue with greens and browns dotted through them and the bleeding and swelling on her brain had improved significantly.

The doctors were stunned at how well she was doing, they half expected her to die within the first few days she'd arrived at the hospital.

"How are you feeling today?", Tommy asked as he stroked her hair from his position on the edge of the bed.

"A bit be-tter than yesterday", she softly smiled. She couldn't deny that she still felt like absolute shit and that every time she breathed it felt like she was trying to push air through a straw, but she was just relieved that she'd survived this whole ordeal, "Can you h-help me sit up a b-bit please?"

He instantly stood and gently swooped an arm beneath her legs and the other behind her back, carefully lifting her up before sitting her back down on the bed and repositioning her pillows behind her against the headboard. She winced with the motion but tried her best to hide it. She already knew that Tommy had so much guilt eating him up inside, it almost felt like if she showed him that she was in any kind of pain that it was a reminder of how much he'd fucked up.

"Is that okay?"

She nodded slowly, aware of her aching neck with every slight movement.

"Good, it's nice to see you looking a bit more like yourself", he smiled, his eyes studying every inch of her face.

"Sabini t-told me to tell y-you t-that he's coming for y-you next and that I-if you want to take o-over his race tracks then you're gonna h-have to fight for it... I'm s-scared, Tommy"

Tommy moved his chair closer to the bed, so close that his knees were touching the side of the frame, and took her hand in his.

"I promise you Y/N, you have nothing to be scared about. I know that I broke my promise before about being on time and it cost both of us more than I thought possible, but I swear to you, right here, right now in this moment, I won't let that fucker come near you ever again"

A response to that seemed impossible. Of course she wanted to believe her own husband but when he'd already broken one promise, one that had ultimatley almost led to her death, how could she possibly believe that he'd keep this one?

He could see her thoughts running round her mind, her eyebrows furrowing and mouth twitching like she didn't know what to say.

"Look, I know I fucked up massively. I will never be able to explain to you how sorry I am and I'd understand completely if you didn't want to be with me any more, but please believe that I will do everything in power from here on out to make sure that you're safe"

He was almost scared to hear what she was going to say. Did she want to leave him? Was he destined to lose his wife, not by death this time, but from the sheer fact she didn't think he could keep her safe?

"I-I could n-never leave you, T-Tommy Shelby", she smiled, her lips curving up into her bruised cheeks.

Tommy stood up and brushed his lips against hers, laying a tender kiss upon them before pulling back slightly, enough to still feel her breath on his face.

"Just p-promise me one m-more thing", she spoke, looking into his eyes.

"Anything"

"Don't ever be l-late again"

He grinned, the twinkle in his eyes that she hadn't seen since waking up returning once more.

"I promise"

———

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sinsirellaxx · 2 months

Note

Toxic!Slytherin boys and them actually falling in love with the reader? Like the Slytherin boys don’t just want to have control over the reader, they want to have a future together after they realize their true yet toxic love for the reader.

I just love the idea of these hurt toxic boys tryna be better.

Toxic Slytherin boys – When they actually fall in love with you

Warning: Kinda toxic yet not so toxic boys

Mattheo …

… chokes on his saliva when he realizes. He’d been having weird dreams – more like nightmares – of losing you and the relief that washes over him whenever he finally manages to wake up makes his heart skip a beat.

… would try to shrug it off and push it to the back of his mind until he couldn’t anymore. You growing more confident and making new friends felt like a bucket of ice cold water emptied on his head: he loved you and he couldn’t risk losing you.

… had to take a different approach with you, because with time you noticed the very subtle changes in him and started resisting his controlling nature.

… for the first time ever, grew insecure in your relationship: The more he fell in love with you, the brighter you shone.

… would be clingy – but not in the “You can’t go out wearing that skirt” kind of clingy, but the “let’s cuddle in bed all night, love.” Kind of clingy.

… found himself dreaming of your future life together – he suddenly wanted to have kids. But only with you.

… would put in so much effort: He’d take you out on romantic dates, buy you things that he thinks you might like, hold hands with you all the time and press the back of your hand to his lips before letting go of you, whenever you had to part ways.

… can’t go a day without hearing your voice.

… would even stop skipping classes and stop drinking if that ever bothered you.

… is afraid that you might get involved in his Death Eater business and will do anything to protect you from it – even if it meant locking you up some place far away.

“I just can’t imagine a day without you by my side.”

Theodore …

… is shocked. Flabbergasted. Stunned. At a loss for words.

… had thought he wouldn’t be able to love another woman after losing his mother. He didn’t expect he’d ever be ready to be vulnerable again. But there you stood, with that beautiful smile and those bright eyes.

… doesn’t know when it happened – it was probably, when you made pistachio cannoli in the school kitchens and presented them to him proudly. He had returned your sheepish smile with his eyes blinking dumbly at you as he tried to understand the situation. “You made them for me?”

… was head over heels for you after that day. You’d have him wrapped around your pinky – whatever you want, you’ll get.

… would be even more protective of you and glare at everyone talking to you – even his own friends weren’t spared.

… asks you to cook with him – to cook and bake for him. He’d watch you in the kitchen with heart-eyes – his mind wandering off to places.

… would plan to propose to you as fast as possible. There is no way he’d lose you.

“Amore, I know we are young. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Lorenzo …

… notices the little changes in his own behavior: he hugs you a little longer and a little tighter whenever you embrace him. He’ll squeeze your hand tight, whenever you’re holding hands. He’ll always wrap his arms around you protectively, whenever you are close enough.

… is scared at first – which resorts to him being even more controlling and overbearing. He’ll even consider a Blood Oath or the Unbreakable Vow to bind you to him for eternity – but when he watches you sleep on his chest at night, with a peaceful look on your face, he inwardly kicks himself for his stupidity.

… will be more patient – more respectful with you. He constantly has to remind himself that love is not about control and owning but about trust and respect.

… struggles at first. But when you take notice of the effort he puts into your relationship – into loving you – you let your guards down completely. You truly feel comfortable around him.

“I’d do anything for you, princess.”

Draco …

… struggles with the onslaught of emotions and distances himself from you.

… would be scared to show you his true feelings – but he’s also scared of pushing you away with his past behavior.

… would grow quiet and carefully think about what to do next – about how to approach you. He’d stop playing around with you.

… gives me the vibes that he’d immediately start planning your future in secret – if he is really sure about you, he’d probably confide in his mother.

… would be a complete gentleman: would buy you flowers, write you letters, spend quality time with you and really listen to what you have to say.

… he’d be much more selfless with you – what you want is more important to him than his own selfish needs.

“What have you done to me, princess?”

Blaise …

… pulls you into a soft kiss the moment he realizes. He’ll wrap his arms around you and hug you to his chest. He needed to feel you close – to know you’re there and not just a dream. Because this boy is scared you’ll disappear into thin air.

… wants nothing more than spend time with you. He’ll almost always text you first. Will initiate soft touches and innocent kisses.

… will be so soft for you.

… would claim he couldn’t sleep without you, just to watch you fall asleep in his arms. Knowing that you’ll be there in the morning when he wakes up – safe and sound.

… is still overly controlling – but just because he is afraid to lose you.

… won’t have any problems with showing his vulnerability.

“I’m scared of losing you, love. Please stay the night.”

Tom …

… is angry. Angry with you. Angry with himself. Angry with his stupid heart.

… would feel guilt settle deep in his stomach whenever he was mean to you, which bothered him because now he had to think twice about it before saying anything.

… can’t stand the thought of you spending time with other people.

… is even more jealous and protective than before – because now he actually cares.

… thinks of the Unbreakable vow as well but will actually pull through and manage to make you consent to it. He couldn’t risk losing you.

“I’ll always protect you. You are mine forever.”

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stylesispunk · 3 months

Text

"Where is my love?"

Joel miller x f! reader

summary: Isn't she coming to me?

w.c: 7k>

warning: angst, mentions of death, and grief.

a/n: this is a sad one and closer to my heart because grieving is the love we can give to people who are gone. The only change of this is that has been ten years since the "end of the world" and is based on the last chapter of the show. reblogs and comments are always appreciated and for the love of god, can you please help me with inspo for writing, I want to write for other characters, so if you have any suggestions are welcome. Have a lovely reading 💌 dividers by @/saradika

masterlist

Your paths crossed a long time ago. When the world had descended into madness, the souls met the dead in a now forgotten land. He came across you, and he fell in love with you. The sunlight radiating after the freezing storm was a fire keeping his brittle heart warm.

You had saved him from ending his own life that day, when he had lost faith in a horror movie without an ending or a purpose. He did lose everything he had known—everything he had ever loved and protected—but he had met you.

For him, you were an angel, not delicate nor free from sins, but an angel who appeared after he thought he had met his spirit in heaven.

You have looked after him and Tommy for days, taking care of their well-being and taking care of the reminiscing scar plastered on Joel’s forehead as a reminder of his almost-death encounter with his angel, you.

And you had loved him ever since; you found yourself increasingly drawn to him, not just for his vulnerability under your eyes but because he had brought sense back to life. His presence seemed to chase away the shadows that had been going to hunt you since now.

As the days turned into weeks, months, and then years, the bond between you and Joel only grew stronger. You found yourself drawn to his strength, his resilience in the face of adversity, and the way he faced each day with unwavering determination.

You had loved him after acknowledging every terrible thing he had done, and you loved him anyway. The darkness inside of him, taunted by the loss of the previous time, didn’t prevent you from looking at him as if he hung the stars of the sky. You both looked at night before sleeping, trying to find some reassurance.

Together, you faced the challenges, from the first days of the end of the world to the QZ, to Ellie, to where you were right now, knowing that as long as you had each other, you could overcome anything.

Now, here in Jackson, in the quiet moment before sleep, you and Joel would still gaze up at the stars, finding solace in the vastness of the night sky. And as you held each other close, you found reassurance in the knowledge that no matter what tomorrow brought, you would face it together.

Joel broke the silence, his voice soft yet filled with the weight of years gone by. "You know, I never thought I'd find this kind of peace again. Not after everything that's happened."

You turned to him, your eyes meeting his in the darkness. "We've been through hell and back, Love. But somehow, we made it together."

He reached out to intertwine his fingers with yours, seeking the comfort your touch brought to him. "I don't know what I would do without you," he admitted, his voice breaking a little.

"You don't have to find out," you replied, a gentle smile playing on your lips. "We're in this together, remember? No matter what."

Joel nodded, his gaze returning to the heavens above. "Yeah, together," he echoed, as if trying to convince himself of the truth of those words.

"You will never lose me,” you whispered, leaning in to press a tender kiss to his forehead. "And I'll always be here to guide you home."

He closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of your lips over his skin. "I love you," he murmured, the words carrying the weight of a lifetime of pain and longing.

"I love you too," you replied, your heart overflowing with love for the man beside you.

Being in Jackson brought you back to a civilization, to peace, to a place where you could both sleep next to each other at the same time without fearing other people coming for you.

But as much as you cherished the peace and stability that Jackson provided, you couldn't escape the reality of everyday life. With it came the mundane challenges, the petty conflicts, and the occasional tension that threatened to disrupt the tranquility you had found together. There were disagreements, misunderstandings, and moments of frustration that tested the strength of your relationship.

You felt a rush of joy as you entered the door of your Jackson home. You couldn't wait to tell Joel about the trade you had made, so you were looking forward to seeing his reaction.

"Joel," you called out, your voice full of anticipation as you approached the living room where he was sitting. "Guess what? "I made a trade today."

Joel looked up from his book, interest in his eyes. "A trade?" "What did you get?"

You smiled, holding out the little camera you'd traded for some extra food supplies. "I exchanged some of our extra coffee for this camera! It's in excellent condition, and I thought we might use it to save some memories."

As you proudly showed the camera, Joel's initial curiosity turned into an unhappy face. He set down his book and looked at you with a mixture of disbelief and stress.

"You traded all of our extra coffee for a camera?" Joel repeated, his voice filled with frustration. "We rely on that coffee, you understand. It's not simply an extravagance; it's a product in high demand here in Jackson."

You faltered, understanding the potential repercussions of your impulsive trade. "I know, Joel, but I thought..."

"You thought what?" Joel interjected, his irritation growing. "That a camera was more important than having enough food to get us through the winter? "What if something happens and we need that coffee?"

You bit your lip, feeling a sense of remorse rush over you. "I didn't think of it that way. I just thought it would be wonderful to have something to save our memories."

Joel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I understand, but we must prioritize our needs before our wants. You cannot go out there and make bad decisions."

His words hurt, and you felt a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You didn't plan to compromise your safety, but in your excitement, you forgot to consider the repercussions of your actions.

"I'm sorry, Joel," you said quietly, feeling a sensation of shame rush over you. "I didn't mean to cause any harm."

Joel's gaze softened slightly as you apologized, but the tension in the air remained. "It's okay," he said softly. "Just stop being this childish," he murmured, strolling past you to the kitchen and leaving you in

Joel's gaze softened slightly as you apologized, but the tension in the air remained. "It's okay," he said softly. "Just stop being so childish," he replied, walking past you to the kitchen and leaving you in the living room with a bitter taste in your mouth.

A wave of guilt swept over you. You didn't mean to act impulsively or selfishly, but you now see that your actions had far-reaching implications.

Feeling the weight of Joel's disappointment, you remained in the living room, staring at the camera in your hands, your heart heavy. You realized he was correct; you needed to be more responsible and more aware of the circumstances and the actions that could affect your survival; being at peace in a place did not imply the risk had passed.

With a heavy sigh, you lay the camera down on the table, the excitement you had felt earlier replaced with a sense of regret. Joel's words lingered in your head, reminding you of the excitement you had felt earlier, replaced by a sense of remorse. Joel's words echoed in your mind, a reminder of the need to grow and learn from your mistakes.

You walked upstairs to your room, and with a heavy heart, you lay in bed, the events of the day on your mind. Despite the comfort of the blankets that surrounded you, you couldn't shake the sense of remorse and sorrow that persisted within you.

You closed your eyes and replayed the conversation with Joel in your head, each word stinging like a sharp reminder of your failure. You knew you'd let him down, and the thought gnawed at you, leaving a bad taste in your mouth.

And as you drifted off to sleep, the weight of Joel's disappointment gradually began to lighten. A few hours later, you awoke to the faint click of a camera shutter. Blinking sleepily, you opened your eyes to see Joel standing by the bedside, a tiny smile on his lips as he held the camera.

"What are you doing?" you said, your voice still laced with sleepiness.

Joel chuckled and lowered his camera as he neared the bed. "Just capturing a moment," he said, his eyes filled with adoration as he glanced down at you. In confusion, you furrowed your brow and sat up slightly in bed. "A moment of me sleeping?" you asked, feeling both amused and fascinated.

Joel nodded, his smile growing wider. "Yes, a second while you sleep. You looked beautiful; I couldn’t resist."

Despite the lingering anger from earlier, Joel's gesture made you feel warm. It was a modest act, but it showed a lot about his remorse and faith in your relationship. Reaching out, you took the camera from Joel's hands, studying the image of yourself sleeping soundly.

"I look horrible," you muttered. Joel softened his smile and leaned in to kiss your forehead. "Liar," he muttered. "Sorry for how I acted earlier." He moved forward, pressing his lips against your cheek this time.

"You're just an old, grumpy man," you remember, with a tiny giggle. His soft kisses eased the tension between you. His amusing response lightened the mood and lifted the sadness that had been in your heart.

"Old grumpy man, huh?" Joel chuckled, shaking his head in mock indignation. “I’ll show you what this old, grumpy man can do,” he said, planting a more urgent kiss on your lips this time.

You worked hard in the weeks following your fight with Joel to repair the distance that had grown between you. Despite the apparent signs of peacemaking, you still had a persistent sense of insecurity.

Then a new woman arrived in Jackson. She was closer to Joel's age, and you couldn't help but notice the easy connection that had developed between them. They spent a lot of time together, whether on patrol with Tommy or speaking in the common areas of Jackson.

You tried to ignore the jealousy that was bubbling up inside of you. After all, Joel had always been polite and accommodating to strangers, so there was no reason to suspect anything other than friendship between them.

But as the days went on and you saw Joel and the new woman form a stronger bond, your concern grew. You couldn't escape the nagging suspicion that there was something more between them—something that harmed the precious trust you'd worked so hard to build.

On today's evening, as you watched Joel and the woman laugh from across the room, you felt a pang of jealousy. You excused yourself and withdrew from the privacy of your thoughts since you could no longer contain your feelings.

You were alone in the living room, struggling with opposite emotions. Part of you felt ashamed for doubting Joel and allowing jealousy to cloud your thinking. But another part of you couldn't help but feel sad and insecure as if you weren't enough for him; after all, it wasn't just you, him, and Ellie outdoors any longer, and here in Jackson, you weren't the last woman in the world.

As you sat alone in the living room, buried in your thoughts, the sound of steps broke your state of trance. Looking up, you noticed Ellie enter the home, looking bright and cheerful, until she spotted your teary eyes.

"Hey, I missed you at dinner in the bar," Ellie said, concern etching her features as she approached you. "Is everything okay?"

You tried to brush off her concern with a forced smile, but Ellie wasn't fooled. "Yeah, everything's fine," you replied, your voice betraying the turmoil within you.

But Ellie wasn't about to let it go that easily. She moved closer, her gaze searching yours with intensity. "No, it's not. What happened? Why are you crying?"

Your heart ached at the concern in Ellie's eyes, and despite your best efforts to hold back the tears, they continued to fall. "I...I don't know," you admitted, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down on you. "I just...I don't know where Joel is."

Ellie's brow furrowed in confusion. "Joel? He's eating with Tommy and the new girl, why?"

You shook your head, unable to articulate the jumble of emotions swirling inside you. "I don't know," you repeated, feeling the tears threaten to overwhelm you once more. "I just...I need to talk to him."

Sensing the urgency in your voice, Ellie nodded in understanding. "Okay, let's go find him," she said, taking your hand and leading you out of the house.

As you followed Ellie towards the bar, your heart raced with fear and anticipation. You knew that whatever awaited you there, you couldn't continue to let your doubts and insecurities consume you.

Once inside the bar, you noticed Joel in the crowd, his gaze settling on yours with a warmth that shot an emotion through your chest. It was as if a magnetic force drew you closer together, despite any remaining doubts.

You moved across the crowded bar, Ellie's hand firmly clutched in yours, Joel's smile widening, and his gaze never leaving yours.

Finally reaching Joel's side, you felt a wave of relief sweep over you as he held you in his arms. The warmth of his hug swept away the residual frost of doubt, leaving you with an eager sense of calm and belonging.

"I missed you," Joel murmured, his voice soft as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"I missed you too," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath as you leaned into Joel's embrace, reveling in the familiar scent of his cologne and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

For a moment, the world around you faded into insignificance, leaving only you and Joel locked in a tender embrace. It was as if time itself had slowed to a halt, allowing you to savor the precious moments you shared together.

As Joel pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, you felt a rush of emotion swell within you, a profound gratitude for the love and support he had always shown you.

As the tender moment between you and Joel lingered, a voice interrupted, pulling you back to the present. "Hey, Joel!" called out a cheerful voice, and you turned to see a woman approaching, a bright smile on her face.

Joel turned to face the stranger, his arm still wrapped over you protectively. "Oh, hey Rachel," he said, a warm smile on his face. "This is my girlfriend," he added, introducing you. Then he turned his face to introduce the stranger to you. "This is Rachel, and she is new to Jackson."

You smiled politely at Rachel, but a tinge of dread came over you as you watched how she drew in closer to Joel, her hand casually resting on his free arm. You repressed a jealous pang and pushed yourself to keep a friendly demeanor, even though your heart squeezed with uncertainty.

"It's nice to meet you, Rachel," you said, your voice solid despite the tumult inside you.

Rachel returned the welcome with a warm grin, and her eyes flickered with intrigue as she glanced. between you and Joel. "Likewise," she replied, her tone friendly but tinged with a hint of flirtation.

As the night went on, you couldn't ignore the sense of unease that hung in the air. Despite your best efforts to ignore it, Rachel's lingering touches and seductive glances at Joel gnawed at your insides, stoking the jealousy that threatened to engulf you.

With each passing moment, it became more difficult to ignore Joel and Rachel's growing friendship. Their laughter and friendly banter got on your nerves, reminding you of the bond that they had.

You tried to ignore your misgivings and enjoy the evening with Joel, but insecurity weighed heavily on you. It felt like you were on the outside looking in, watching helplessly as Joel and Rachel got closer with each passing second.

Rachel's flirtations became more daring as the night progressed, her touches lingering a bit too long and her laughter provocative. Despite your best attempts to remain calm, the jealousy simmering beneath the surface threatened to explode.

You stole looks toward Joel, hoping to find reassurance in his eyes, but he seemed unaware of the impact Rachel's actions were having on you. It was as if she had enchanted him, consuming all of his attention.

You excused yourself from the table, unable to take the sight of Joel and Emily's flirtatious behavior any longer. You could understand, after all, that Joel was a handsome man who hadn't received this much attention since the world ended; yet, that didn't make it any less painful.

As you excused yourself from the table, a slew of feelings surged through you—pain, jealousy, and a deep sense of isolation. You longed for Joel's reassurance, his acknowledgment of the hurt that Rachel's behavior was causing you, but as you stole a glance at him, you saw only obliviousness in his gaze.

With a heavy heart, you moved away, your footsteps quietly echoing on the bar's hardwood floor. You felt Joel's stare on your back, but you couldn't force yourself to look into his eyes, scared of what you might find reflected there.

As you approached the edge of the room, you hesitated, your back facing Joel, struggling to find the perfect words. Finally, you spoke, hardly rising above a whisper. "I need some air," you remarked, your voice filled with anguish.

After a period of silence, you felt Joel's hand on your arm, warm and soothing. "Hey," he replied quietly, his voice full of concern. "Are you okay?"

You turned to face him, meeting his gaze with a mixture of longing and frustration. "I just...I need some time," you replied, your voice trembling slightly. "I'll be outside."

Joel's expression softened, and his eyes filled with understanding as he nodded in response. "I'll come find you," he promised, his voice gentle as he squeezed your hand.

But instead, as you walked towards the house, the weight of the evening's events bearing down on you, you felt Joel's presence beside you. His steps were quiet, but his presence was comforting, a silent reassurance that you were not alone in your pain.

"Hey," Joel said softly, his voice breaking the silence between you. "I'm sorry about back there. I didn't realize... I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

You glanced sideways at Joel, the warmth of his gaze softening the edges of your frustration. "It's not your fault," you replied, your voice tinged with sadness. "I know you didn't mean to."

Joel fell into a step beside you, his hand reaching out to brush against yours. "I just want you to know that you're the only one for me," he said earnestly, his voice filled with sincerity. "No one else matters, not like you do."

“You could have told her about it,” you said, frustration edging into your tone.

Joel's expression faltered slightly at your words, a hint of defensiveness flickering in his eyes. "I didn't think it was necessary," he replied, his tone tinged with irritation. "I didn't want to embarrass her or make things awkward."

You felt a surge of frustration rising within you, the sting of jealousy and insecurity reigniting in your chest. "But by not saying anything, you made me feel like my feelings didn't matter," you countered, your voice tinged with hurt. "You made me doubt myself; doubt us."

Joel sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice strained. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I just didn't know how to handle the situation."

The tension between you hung heavy in the air, the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions pressing down on both of you. You wanted to believe Joel's assurances of love and devotion, but the lingering doubts and insecurities threatened to cloud your judgment.

"I need to rest," you said, changing the subject, your voice steady but tinged with sadness. "Tomorrow, we need to get up early for the patrol.”

“Actually, I’m not coming with you,” he said carefully.

“What? Why?”

“I’ll promise Rachel to...“

The air crackled with tension as Joel's words hung between you, his admission weighing heavily on your heart. Anger flared within you, fueled by hurt and betrayal.

"Why?" you demanded, your voice laced with frustration and disappointment. "Why would you choose her over me?

Joel's expression softened, and his eyes filled with regret. "I’m not choosing her over you; I would never do that," he replied, his voice tinged with guilt. "I didn't realize it would upset you."

You shook your head, unable to hide your frustration. "You should have talked to me about it first," you said, your voice trembling with emotion. "You should have considered my feelings."

With a heavy heart, you turned away from Joel, the ache of disappointment echoing within you. As you retreated into the solitude of your thoughts, you couldn't help but wonder if your relationship could withstand this latest test or if it was destined to crumble beneath the weight of unresolved conflicts and broken promises.

“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight!” you exclaimed as you kept walking.

The next morning dawned with a strong sense of tension in the air, the previous night's events still fresh in your mind. As you awoke from your sleep and began to prepare for the day ahead, the pain of disappointment and deceit chewed at your heart, casting a shadow on the early sun.

With a heavy sigh, you pushed aside any remaining doubts and concerns, determined to focus on the task at hand. As you approached the kitchen, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, a soothing reminder of Joel's presence.

You discovered him standing by the counter, holding a warm mug of coffee, and preparing a second cup for you. His expression was solemn.

His eyes were downcast, as if weighted down by the events of the night before.

"Morning, angel," he said, his voice tinged with regret, as he gave you the mug. "I made some coffee."

“Thank you, but I’m leaving,” you replied, shortly walking towards the door.

"Angel, wait," Joel called out, his voice pleading as he reached out to gently grasp your arm, halting your departure. His touch was warm against your skin, a silent plea for you to stay and hear him out.

You hesitated, torn between the desire to escape the tension that hung between you and the longing to resolve the issues that had driven a wedge between you and Joel. With a heavy sigh, you turned to face him, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you like a leaden blanket.

“Take care; you know your safety is the most important thing for me,” he reassured, meeting your sad gaze.

"What a shame you're not going to be there to protect me," you replied bitterly, unable to mask the hurt in your voice. The words spilled out before you could stop them, a reflection of the pain and frustration that churned within you.

Joel's expression softened; his eyes filled with remorse as he reached out to gently cup your cheek.

Joel closed the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss filled with longing and remorse. It was a silent reassurance of his love and commitment, a promise to mend the wounds that had been inflicted upon your relationship.

As the kiss lingered, you felt a sense of peace wash over you, the weight of uncertainty lifting ever so slightly from your shoulders. Despite the pain and hurt, you knew that Joel was sincere in his desire to make things right, and you were willing to give him another chance.

Pulling away, Joel met your gaze with a mixture of regret and determination. "We'll talk when you get back," he said softly, his voice filled with resolve. "I'll be here waiting for you, ready to make things right."

With a nod of agreement, you returned Joel's gaze, a silent acknowledgment of your shared commitment to each other.

As you and Tommy ventured out on patrol, the rhythm of your footsteps echoed against the deserted streets of Jackson. The tension that had weighed heavily on you began to ease slightly, replaced by a sense of purpose as you focused on the task at hand.

"So, what happened between you and Joel?" Tommy asked, breaking the silence that had settled between you. His voice was filled with concern, and his eyes were studying your expression carefully.

You sighed, the events of the previous night still fresh in your mind. "We had an argument," you admitted reluctantly, the words heavy on your tongue. "I just don't know how to trust him again."

Tommy nodded in understanding, his expression sympathetic. "I get it," he said softly. "But you have to remember, Joel cares about you more than anything. He'd do anything to protect you, even if he doesn't always show it the right way."

You mulled over Tommy's words, the weight of his reassurance providing some measure of comfort amidst the uncertainty that plagued you. Despite the doubts that lingered in your mind, you knew that, deep down, Joel's intentions were genuine and his love for you was unwavering.

"I know," you replied, a sense of resolve creeping into your voice. "I just need to figure things out."

Tommy placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, his gaze filled with empathy. "You will," he said confidently. "And when you do, Joel will be right there waiting for you, ready to make things right."

With a nod of gratitude, you continued on your patrol, the weight of uncertainty still heavy on your shoulders but with a glimmer of hope shining through the darkness. As you walked, you couldn't help but feel grateful for Tommy's support and reassurance, knowing that with his guidance and the strength of your bond with Joel, you would find a way to navigate the challenges that lay ahead.

“Of course, you will say nice things about your stupid brother,” you joked.

Tommy chuckled at your jest, the sound carrying through the quiet streets as you continued on your patrol. "Hey, he may be stubborn and thick-headed sometimes, but Joel's got a good heart," he said with a grin. "And he cares about you more than anything."

You couldn't help but smile at Tommy's words, grateful for his unwavering support and his ability to see the best in Joel, even in the midst of conflict. "Thanks, Tommy," you said sincerely, the weight of uncertainty lifting ever so slightly from your shoulders. "I appreciate it."

Tommy nodded in response, his expression filled with understanding. "Anytime," he replied, his voice laced with warmth. "We're family, after all. And family sticks together, no matter what."

As you and Tommy continued your patrol around Jackson, everything was eerily quiet, with the only sound being the subtle crunch of gravel beneath your feet. The weight of insecurity lingered in the air, but you pressed on, determined to do your job and safeguard your town.

A group of people appeared from the shadows unexpectedly, their faces hidden by the night's darkness. Your heart jumped into your throat as you understood the danger that was immediately surrounding you.

You weren't a weak person; in fact, people considered you a powerful fighter, always merciless when it was required and determined to save the ones you cared about, so your instincts kicked in and your senses heightened as adrenaline flowed through veins. Despite the suddenness of the attack, you maintained your composure, guided by your training and expertise.

Until one of them grabbed you and pinned you down, your heart raced with a mix of fear and determination. You struggled against their hold, every muscle in your body tensing as you fought to break free. Despite the adrenaline coursing through your veins, the grip of your assailant remained firm, their strength overpowering.

With a surge of desperation, you summoned all your strength and training, channeling it into a fierce struggle to break free. Your mind raced with thoughts of escape, of finding a way to overcome this unexpected obstacle and emerge victorious.

Beside you, Tommy fought valiantly against the other attackers, his determination matching your own as he defended against the onslaught. Though outnumbered and caught off guard, you refused to give in, clinging to the hope that help would soon arrive.

“So, you’re Joel’s Miller girl,” a feminine voice said.

The voice cut through the chaos, freezing you momentarily as you tried to recognize the mocking tone. Despite the tense situation, a surge of anger flared within you at the mention of Joel's name. You refused to let fear or intimidation weaken your resolve.

With renewed determination, you continued to struggle against your assailant's hold, your mind racing with thoughts of escape and survival. Every fiber of your being was focused on breaking free and finding a way to overcome this threat and protect yourself and Tommy.

“Tommy!” you exclaimed, worry creeping up with you.

“I’m fine!” he reassured back.

“What do you want?” You asked the girl, who is now in front of you.

The girl smirked, her eyes filled with venom as she peered down at you, pinned under her. "What do I want?" she said, her voice full of scorn. "I'd like to send a message to your dear Joel. I want him to understand that no one is safe, including his girl."

Her statements enraged your fury, but you kept calm, refusing to show any signs of weakness in the face of her remarks. "And what message would that be?" you asked, your voice steady despite what was occurring.

As she drew in closer, the girl's smirk deepened, and her eyes took on a malicious glitter. "The message is simple," she stated, her voice low and frightening. "I will take away what he loves.

the most from him, as he did with me.”

“What?” but before you could even realize what was happening, you felt a sharp pain through your abdomen.

The sharp pain ripped through your abdomen, stealing the breath from your lungs as you gasped in shock. A guttural cry of agony escaped your lips as you felt blood seeping from the wound, staining your clothes crimson.

The girl's cruel laughter echoed in your ears as she withdrew the weapon, a twisted smirk of satisfaction twisting her features. "That's the message," she said coldly, her voice dripping with malice.

You didn’t want to die here without seeing the smiles of the people you loved.

Your vision blurred as waves of pain washed over you, threatening to drag you into unconsciousness. Through the haze of agony, you fought to stay conscious, your thoughts consumed by a desperate need to survive, to make it back to Joel, to warn him of the danger that now threatened you both.

“Hey, stay with me. I’m taking you to Jackson,” Tommy said desperately, but his voice was just an echo at this time.

The world seemed to spin around you as you fought to hold onto consciousness, Tommy's voice barely registering amidst the haze of pain and confusion. Every fiber of your being screamed in agony, but you refused to succumb to the darkness that threatened to consume you.

With a herculean effort, you summoned whatever strength remained within you, clinging to Tommy's words like a lifeline. Through sheer force of will, you forced your eyes to focus, locking onto Tommy's determined gaze as he lifted you into his arms.

The journey back to Jackson was a blur of agony and desperation, with each step sending waves of pain coursing through your battered body. But with every labored breath, you clung to the hope that burned within you—a determination to survive and protect those you loved.

As the walls of Jackson loomed into view, relief flooded through you, a flicker of hope amidst the darkness. With Tommy's unwavering support, you stumbled towards safety, with the promise of medical aid and the comfort of Joel's embrace urging you forward.

As you were carried through the gates of Jackson, the weight of exhaustion and pain threatened to overwhelm you.

Tommy stepped into Jackson's doors, crying out for help as you lay practically still in his arms. The wound in your stomach was major, and he couldn't shake the thought that you would die as a result of his inability to protect you.

As Tommy stormed through the doors of Jackson, his voice buzzing with desperation, terror spread throughout the neighborhoods. People turned their heads, concerned expressions on their faces, as they saw you almost unresponsive in his arms, crimson blood covering the clothes you were wearing.

A crowd swiftly gathered around Tommy, their alarming murmuring filling the air. Tommy ignored them, focusing entirely on getting you the help you so desperately needed.

As Tommy went towards the improvised infirmary, frantic yells sounded out, requesting the medical attention they had here. His steps were heavy with guilt, and each instant seemed to last forever as he feared the worst.

Finally, the infirmary doors swung open, and a team of medics led by Jackson hurried forward to take you from Tommy's arms. They worked fast and effectively, their expressions serious as they assessed the seriousness of your injury.

Tommy stood back, his hands quivering with terror and remorse, as he saw the doctor rush into action. He couldn't shake the notion that your condition was a result of his failing to safeguard you from harm.

Joel's heart was tight with fear when he saw a commotion near the infirmary. Without hesitation, he raced towards the crowd, his instincts screaming for him to get to you as soon as possible.

Joel's heart raced in his chest as he pushed his way through the crowd, finally arriving at the infirmary entrance. He saw you, pale and frail, in the arms of the doctors, your life hanging in limbo.

Joel moved forward without hesitation, arms outstretched, reaching for you. "No," he murmured hoarsely, terror and desperation evident in his tone. "Please, don't let her die."

The medics stepped aside, allowing Joel to take you into his arms. As he held you close, he could feel the warmth of your body against his, but it was too still, too fragile. Tears welled in his eyes as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, silently praying for your recovery.

“Hey, angel,” he murmured, finding strength in his voice. “Open those beautiful eyes of yours for me, baby, okay? Please, do it!” He continued sobbing as he caressed your hair. “I can lose everything, but not you... Oh god, not you, please?”

Joel kept holding you in his arms, preventing you from going away from him, and you could feel his touch, his care, and his voice pleading with you to stay with him. You wanted that, you wanted so bad, but the strength was dying inside you, and everything you ever knew went black.

You became a lifeless frame in the arms of your biggest love. When you stopped breathing, Joel’s heart stopped beating because, as if it was glass, it shattered.

The look of the doctor and the face of Tommy told them the truth he didn’t want to acknowledge, confirming the unthinkable: you were gone. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as Joel's world shattered around him. He clung to your lifeless form, his body racked with sobs as he struggled to comprehend the enormity of his loss.

"No, no, please," Joel choked out, his voice breaking with grief as he held you close, unwilling to accept the truth of what had just happened. Tears streamed down his cheeks unchecked, his sobs echoing in the silence of the infirmary.

For a moment, time stood still as Joel clung to you, unwilling to let go and unwilling to accept that you were gone. The world around him blurred, and the pain in his heart was too overwhelming to bear.

But as the reality of your loss settled over him, Joel's grief turned to rage, a primal, consuming fury that burned through him like wildfire. With a guttural cry of anguish, he cradled you in his arms, his body trembling with the force of his emotions.

In that moment, Joel felt as if his world had come crashing down around him, leaving nothing but darkness and despair in its wake. He had lost everything—the love of his life, his reason for living, his angel.

And as he held you close, his heart shattered into a million pieces, each one a painful reminder of the love he had lost and the life that had been snuffed out too soon. For Joel, the world had ceased to exist, consumed by the gaping void left in the wake of your passing.

He was never going to kiss you again; he was never going to hold you close at night or wake up to your smile in the morning. The future he had imagined, filled with laughter and love, now lay shattered at his feet.

A few hours later, Joel woke up in your shared bed, and you were sleeping next to him.

Joel's hand extended out to touch you, and a sense of warmth and comfort came over him. For a little while, he felt the smoothness of your skin beneath his fingertips and the rise and fall of your chest as you breathed peacefully beside him.

But then reality slammed back in like a tidal wave, yanking him from his comfortable state of sleep. His hand gripped the empty air, his fingers wrapping around nothing but chilly emptiness.

Joel's eyes opened abruptly, and he found himself lying in the dimly lit space, alone in the bed that had previously accommodated both of you. The ache in his chest returned with vengeance, a searing pang of anguish piercing his heart as he realized you were no longer alongside him.

Joel let out a deep sigh as he ran his hand through his hair, the memories of the dream still fresh in his mind. It felt so genuine and so vivid that, for a brief minute, he believed you were still alive and with him.

You were gone, taken from him in a cruel twist of fate, and no amount of dreaming could bring you back to him.

It's been a week, and he didn't attend your funeral because he was unable to accept that you were no longer alive.

Until today, when he stepped out of the house, which was surrounded by the flowers that some members of the community had left for you, and walked to your graveyard.

As Joel approached your graveyard, he felt an enormous burden settle over him—the weight of grief and loss that had been his constant companion in the days since your death. The walk appeared longer than it had ever been, with each step weighed down by the weight of his grief.

As he reached the grave, Joel's heart tightened with agony and need. The sight of the newly turned earth and the plain headstone traced your name as if it were your face. Joel's heart tightened with agony and need. The sight of freshly churned ground, with a simple monument marking your final resting place, acted as a sharp reminder of your absence.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you; I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

Tears welled in Joel's eyes as he laid a bouquet of flowers at the foot of the headstone, each bloom a silent tribute to the love and loss he felt in his heart. The scent of the flowers mingled with the earthy aroma of the graveyard, a poignant reminder of the fleeting beauty of life and the inevitability of death.

Joel's voice quivered as he spoke, every word heavy with the weight of his despair and sorrow. He kneeled near the grave, his hand resting on the cool surface of the headstone, seeking comfort in the memory of your love.

"I want you to know that it was never me who protected you, but you who protected me," Joel said quietly, his words barely audible above the delicate murmur of the wind through the trees. "You were always the one who gave me strength, who showed me what it meant to love and to be loved."

As Joel spoke, tears streamed down his cheeks, revealing his real and unadulterated grief. At that time, surrounded by the serene tranquility of the graveyard, he felt profound loss, a yawning void that could never be filled.

"But now you're gone," Joel added, his voice breaking with sadness. "And I do not know how to go on without you."

Joel rose to his feet after one final long glance at the headstone, a sensation of purpose coming over him. He may have lost you, but he promised to always carry your love with him, to respect your memory in all he did, and to find a way to move forward, even in the face of his greatest pain.

You were always in every star shining above, in the sky.

He was back in the dimly lit room, with the weight of the grief still over his shoulders, and with trembling hands, he reached for the small camera you had traded, his fingers tracing the familiar contours of the device.

As he turned it on, the screen flickered to life, illuminating the darkness with a soft glow. And there, displayed before him, was the image he had captured of your sleeping, your peaceful expression a bittersweet reminder of how simply you could make him happy.

With a heavy heart, Joel reached out, his fingertips gently tracing the patterns of your face on the screen. It was as if he could feel your presence beside him.

Tears welled in Joel's eyes as he lingered on the image, his heart aching with longing for the touch he could no longer feel. But in that moment, surrounded by memories of you, he found a glimmer of solace, a reminder that though you were gone, your love would always remain.

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ja3honey · 7 months

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♡ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟔 : 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡/𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐱 - 𝐂.𝐒 ♡

Whoops

【sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs】 : You wanted to show your hot-headed lover that you could protect yourself. And what better way than to go looking for his number on rival....

『ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ』 : 3.07k

-> ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: Mafia Au. Smut. Angst.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: MobBoss!San x F.Reader

[ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs] : Mention of criminal activity. Flirting. Manipulation. Seducing disgusting men (ew). Sweet talking, dirty talk, making out, neck kisses. Biting and marking. Aggressive San. Pet names. Mention of guns. Abuse. Fucking in public (kinda). San is literally crazy and you love it hehe. Punishment. Swearing. Fingering. Pussy slapping. Degrading. (use of slut). Praise. Head-spinning vibes. Spit cause San likes it dirty and messy. Death. You both are sadistic and crazy okay this is pure filth.

Thank you, @kitten4sannie , for requesting San for this day ♡♡♡.

Masterlist | Navigation | Kinktober 2023 List

You had enough. All he did was worry about you and your way of life. He worried to the point the point he became paranoid. Adding more guards at almost every door of your home and always making sure there was someone by your side. In truth, you did appreciate him for worrying, but not to the point, of him locking you in the house cause "the outside world is a bad place."

You devised a plan, granted probably a stupid plan, but a plan nonetheless. To bring San the one man that's been tormenting him into thinking you were unsafe. His enemy Lucas. A ruthless mob boss on the border of Seoul. He didn't own much land, but he made up for it in trade. San and him had been fighting for territory for years. And their fathers before that. So, of course, if you were to bring Lucas to grovel at San's knees for even better, just kill him. It would solve your problems.

Go big or go home, right?

You were dressed to impress. A lavish tight dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and heels that you were already begging to take off as they scratched your ankles. You were dolled up to perfection, and the best thing was that no one knew who you were. Sure, they knew of you, the infamous woman who stole the heart of the cold and cruel King of Seoul. But no one had a face to a name, San made sure of that.

That also meant it was no man's land, where anyone and everyone was vulnerable.

San had told you about these types of bars, and of course, he also said never to go to one. But here you were scanning the field of people to find who you were looking for. You did some digging and managed to find out that Lucas liked to converse in this particular club and that he also, always without fail, took a girl home from said place. So that's what you were going to do;

Be the bait and make him fall.

Your heart was racing, but you kept a straight face. Quickly reaching into your bag and finally turning on your phone and not even a second, messages, and missed calls flooded your notifications. San would have found out by now that you were missing and tried using your phone tracker to find you. But given your phone was off, he would have been rageful knowing he couldn't find you. You scanned some of the messages

'Baby, where are you? Answer me, please.'

'You better not be somewhere stupid'

'I swear to god when I find you, you're in for the punishment of your fucking life.'

The last one made you feel a little dizzy. And now that your phone is back on, San would surely show up here at any moment. So you had to act fast, in order for your plan would work. Spotting Lucas sitting in an open booth with two guards on either side, you acted on your plan. All those drama classes you took as a kid were about to pay off, as you waltzed over with your hips swinging enough to get his attention. His eye immediately scanned your figure sickeningly. He was scum, a pig, and honestly a terrible criminal.

But you needed him gone. To end San's stress once and for all. You learnt the rules of the game, watched how mob bosses played their hand, and now it was your turn to join.

You just giggled even though you'd rather puke. But you needed to do this now or never. San would definitely be on his way now, and time was running short. So the art of sweet talking began. You laughed at his stories, placing lingering touches on his shoulders and chest. Your face sat a little too close to his at some points, almost daring him to kiss you. You were seductive, observant, and cutthroat.

Your fingers tangle in his oily hair, keeping his head near you. He trailed before reaching your large necklace. His gross chapped lips kissed your gold pendant. His inner lip grazed the beautiful Ruby, San's signature gemstone. His birth gem. But Lucas obviously didn't take in that detail.

"Aren't you a charmer." You giggled. "But talking isn't really my...thing."

His eyes widened, breath hitching in his chest as he bit his lip. "Well, well, what is your thing, hot stuff?"

You pulled out the small gun that was on your thigh holster, placing it perfectly in aim with Lucas's gross forehead. His eyes widened, visibly gulping. Before he could protest his shock, a loud bang followed by gunfire was heard throughout the club.

“W-what did you do?” Lucas growled trying to stand up but the pressure on his stupid cock got firmer, making him silence his high-pitched whine in an instant. You showed no emotion, not a single expression to help him read you. He was completely at your mercy. And as if his heart couldn’t sink more into his throat, when he saw who walked through the curtained door frame made the beat in his chest stop.

“So this is where my darling ran off too.” San's deep rumble could make anyone melt, especially you. You could feel his gazing eyeing you but not like how Lucas did prior, it was filled with desire, possessiveness, and greed. His steps echoed in the silent door, making the cowardly male below you flinch. But you didn't falter, keeping your gaze on the man that caused so much annoyance in your life, pain in San’s life. A pest that you were more than willing to exterminate at the command of your lover.

“I knew, you’d look hot with a gun in your hand.” San’s voice whispered in your ear biting your lobe slightly. You tried not to close your eyes and fall into your lover’s embrace but his cologne was drawing you in like a siren to a pirate at sea. You might have been pissed off at him prior to coming here but now all you wanted is him to hold you, treat you like the royalty he believes you are. “I see you caught me a rat.”

His feline smile painted his features making Lucas look anywhere other than the larger mob boss. You just hummed, tilting your head slightly before leaning more forward putting more pressure on Lucas’s manhood. “Anything to get you to stop stressing.” was the only thing you could follow with, suddenly feeling him grab your chin turning your face to finally look at him.

His eyes were red, most likely from crying, cause even though he was this big mafia leader, he was in touch with his emotions, even crying when you two watch sappy romance films. His hair was messy and not slicked back as he usually had it. He was messier, but in the eyes of anyone else, they would only see a terrifying cruel man with a stare that could kill. But you saw through that, the chaos in his mind. The stress and loneliness. He was most definitely freaked out about you missing prior to this ordeal. But this needed to be done, even though you feel a slight twang of guilt. “I did this all for you. I would do anything for you… My love.”

You meant every word, and San knew it. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to punish you for disappearing and almost causing him a heart attack. His lips attached to your neck, inhaling your scent while he sucked a red mark on your skin. he didn’t know what he did to deserve such a seductive, slightly sadistic bitch such as yourself. God, he was madly in love sometimes he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Well, I think this calls for a game.” San clicked his fingers making two of his high-end bodyguards come in to ‘help’ with your friend. The large guards tied Lucas up tightly to the chair also covering his mouth with tape, letting you finally take your foot off his jewels. You lowered your gun letting San wrap his hand over the top, before latching his lips on yours sinking you in for a deep, harsh kiss. He switched the safety on without even looking before playing the gun in his back pocket all the while his hands grasped your hips, drawing you near. You could feel his bugle against your tummy, moaning against his wet tongue before he pulled away;

“The game we are going to play is called ‘what you couldn't have’.” He turns to Lucas, “You being yourself there Lucas.” His smile was sinister, eyes filling with filthy ideas. “You are going to watch me fuck the life out of my wife and then she gets to shoot you. Doesn’t that sound like fun.” He bit his bottom lip, eyes wide with excitement and craze. You inhaled sharply hearing his words. Feeling San prop you up onto the bar table in the corner of the room but still in complete view of Lucas.

San got to quick work, pulling down the straps letting your tits spring free, ripping the large necklace off with his as he snapped the straps of the gown. His lips latched on your left nipple while he pinched the other with his fingers, rolling the bud against his thumb. You moaned in a high-pitched tone, feeling electricity pool down your shiver. Your legs spread wider, making your dress ride up and San slip in between. His hips ground against yours, gifting you a groan from him. “Mine.” He mumbles against your breasts. “All mine.”

Lucas groaned trying to move but in toe only moved the chair slightly. This caught the attention of San and yourself, making your lover stand up straight. “Now, Now Lucas. Your time will come soon.” the mob boss didn’t even look over to the coward in the chair, just giving in a cold reminder that he was certainly going to die by the event's end. San’s hand cupped your soaking cunt making your eyes snap back to his. Biting your bottom lip, staring at him with hooded eyes, your eyebrows slowly knitted together as he pushed a finger and then a second soon after into your pussy. “Not wearing panties is very naughty baby, that’s another point added to punishment.”

You seemed to be racking up for a punishment later most likely when you were in the comfort of your own bedroom. But for now, San fucked your cunt with his fingers at such a harsh pace you couldn't hear the world around you as your ears rang and your moans bounced off the dark painted walls. “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck S-Sannniee.”

He pulled out and slapped your pussy, hard. “Good girls don’t have dirty mouths, another point.” He mumbled giving your pussy another whack before he pushed his fingers inside you again. You cried, feeling yourself tip over before you could voice your plea, squirting all over the table and San’s fingers and arm, making his button-up, soaked in your juices.

“I-..mm I’m sorry.” You apologized for coming without his permission but he didn’t seem to approve. Pulling you off the table, he turned you around, letting your dress fall completely off completely. You heard the zipper of his slacks feeling heat pour from your cunt. Swaying your ass side to side, you begged. “Please fuck me, sir, I’ll be good. I promise.”

His words stung in the best way possible and if it was said by any other man you would have fought back. But San made it sound too delectable. “I’ll be good, I promise.” You tried to beg again even though, you knew deep down it was useless.

He let you go making you fall onto the table, your hands gripped the oak wood as you felt every harsh thrust that San did. His balls hit your clit in the right movement. Everything was overwhelming but perfect at the same time. You needed to come again, needed him to come. “San please I need..I need your come.”

His dark chuckle sent shivers down your spine, making you look over your shoulder but before you could make eye contact with your lover your eyes locked onto Lucas. He had plea in his features, silently begging to be let free. And as you cast your gaze down you noticed his aching bulge threw his pants. Pig, you thought. San noticed as well, suddenly pulling out so he could swing you around placing you back on the table, his strong grip holding you in place as he entered your abused cunt again. “want my come baby? Such a good baby, asking for her fill. Don’t worry darling I’ll give you what you want."

And with that, his thrusts got faster even if that was possible. You felt so high from him that you were floating on a cloud and no one other than San could touch you. “San I—It’s okay baby, come for me,” He finished your sentence letting you tip over the edge, creaming deliciously on his cock while he squirted his hot seed deep inside you.

“Fuck, baby.” San groaned seeing all his juices mixing with yours. He spat on your clit, making you moan as he rubbed his saliva in with your cum. San always had to be messy, even when you were in public. Before you could say anything a large cough caught your attention and San’s. It was Lucas, the tape around his mouth had blood spewing from all sides and his eyes started to leak a red crimson. He was thrashing around, trying to escape whatever was him his body but all he managed was to tip the chair on his side making him let out a huff along with gargled coughs. And with a last shallow breath, he suddenly stopped dead….

“Oops…” Was all you said making San snap his gaze quickly back to you. His face was painted with a ‘what the fuck’ expression. You almost completely forgot that the ruby on your necklace was laced with poison and Lucas "happened’’ to kiss it, ingesting the poison which was slowly activating. “Yeo gave me a poisoned necklace..”

San immediately knew what that meant and he kinda thanked the lord that the necklace got ripped off when he tore the dress off. “Impressive.” Was all he said, pushing himself forward slightly, feeling your overly sensitive cunt squeeze him. “Fuck, I could fuck you again if it wasn’t for the dead corpse behind us.”

“That hasn’t stopped you before.” You tilted your head while biting your bottom lip. He just grumbled moving in to bite your neck again;

“You are the death of me, darling.”

- ♥︎

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neteyamyawne · 6 months

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🫀— You Promised

༄ Pairing : Aged!up!Neteyam x Fem!pregnant!Reader

༄ Summary : You never thought about losing your mate, atleast not when you needed him the most in your vulnerable state.

༄ Warning : Angst! Lots and lots of angst, no comfort, crying, pregnancy, major death, depression, sadness, dying of a loved one and more sadness, maybe a smidge of fluff.

༄ Prompt : Holding their mate's (or child's) unconscious/dead body

༄ Word Count : 2.7k Proof read.

༄ Note : I love making you guys cry, idk why, I cry myself when I write this kind of stuff.

༄ Glossary : [Yawne] - Beloved, [Olo'eyktan] - Na'vi clans' leader, [Iknimaya] - Na've rite of passage, [tsahik] - Na'vi clans' spiritual leader, [Uthuru] - to seek refuge, [Paskalin] - sweet berry, [Skxwang] - moron.

◦ Angstmas || Masterlist

It was like any other normal day only if you were in your home and not in another strange clan that you've never known except for stories and political talks.

You lay on the soft woven mat, made by your mate just for you, a hand on your swollen stomach as the life growing inside moves at its own pace while you rest from the tiredness that comes with.

»»————-　𑁍　————-««

You and Neteyam mated right after he passed his Iknimaya, being the first in line to be the olo’eyktan and you to be his tsahik but it was all came crashing down when your father-in-law decided it was better to flee for the good of the clan and for the family as well.

It was the second month of your pregnancy when you had to leave your home forever, the strength of your mates arms held you up as you cried in his chest, hands shaking like a leaf as you watched Jake renounce his position as the Olo'eyktan to Terasem.

The tears in everyone's eyes, Neytiri’s sobs, Neteyam could only stroke the side of your head, pressing a kiss to your temple as he lead you to his Ikran “It'll be okay, Yawne, believe me, we'll be alright, I'll take care of you and our little one” he whispered comfortingly in your ear when you both mounted his Ikran and he placed you in front of him, your face towards him as he draped and covered you with his own shawl, he held you against his chest tightly before he took off with his family.

He had one hand on Seze’s reigns, controlling her moves through the air and the other on your back, under the shawl that was draped on your body, your face buried in his neck, your arms wrapped around his waist, so you could rest comfortably on the rough journey, he caressed patterns on your back as everyone flew more and more away from the forest until it was just the expanse of the water in front of them.

Neytiri kept glancing at her eldest son, pride blooming in her chest as she saw how much of gentleman her son is, the scene could only remind her of the time with Jake during the war, when they aligned all the clans, with a small smile she looked away, giving the couple some privacy as she moved closer to Jake's Ikran, bob, while running her hand through Tuk’s braids.

»»————-　𑁍　————-««

It took a week or more to reach the metkayina clan, Awa’atlu, they accepted your Uthuru, with much criticism and nagging, but they did, it wasn't the same since then, there was always a deep feeling in the back of your mind, reminding you, again and again that something is wrong or would go wrong.

Even now, 4 months later, as you rested in the mauri with Neytiri on the other side making dinner while the others were out for their lessons, as Neytiri didn't willingly wanted to take the lessons and would rather look after you because it wasn't recommended for you to start your swimming lessons yet, she was always there for you, no matter what.

Even then, it's only been a month or two since Quaritch started his search spree across all the water Na'vi clans for Jake, that was the one thing everyone was alert for after Tonowari gave us the news, you didn't want to keep that in mind, not in your condition, not when it added to your ever growing worry.

Neteyam came back later, seemingly happy to see you resting on the mat he made, and because he loved the beautiful curve on your belly, the sign that his little baby grew safe and sound, he also knew that you didn't like the ocean as much as the trees back home but it was doable, plus he would rather have his baby in a safe environment than a hostile one, which was the only reason he loved this place, for the sake of his family's safety was all he cared about.

On a good day, you'd join the group, watching them learn in the depths while you sat in the shallow waters laughing at their failed attempts until your stomach starts to hurt from laughing while clutching your bump or learning new things with them, even successfully befriending an Ilu and riding it safely that you could have options to move around Awa'atlu.

But on days like these, when your exhaustion hits a little too hard, he couldn't help but lay down behind your back and just wrap his arms around you and pull you into his warm hug.

You always knew it was him, by the way he'd kiss your neck gently, one large hand on your belly as he strokes it softly, his head nuzzled in the Crook of your neck “You know you don't have to pretend you're asleep when I'm right beside you, Paskalin” he whispered, hot breath lingering on the curve of it.

You chuckled at the tickling sensation, giving in after he catches you in your pretend sleep, once again for the upteenth time, turning around to face him while he strokes your cheek with his hand as the other caresses your belly, peppering your face with kisses as you giggled “Did you eat anything, Honey?” He asked in a whisper, picking up after his father to call you sweet human nicknames that he loved. Like father, like son.

He was disappointed when you shook your head “how many times have I told you to eat something every two hours? It's not good for the baby, yawne!” He whisper-yelled at you but the answer he got from you was just a chuckle “I wasn't hungry, Ma teyam, and i wasn't feeling well either, Now let it-” he just shook his head in disappointment “tsk tsk tsk, you should have told me or sa’nu, she would have-”

The sentence was left unspoken when the loud commotion and yelling was heard outside, the locals were screaming at something or someone and loud cries were heard, both you and Neteyam got up with Neytiri and made your way to the rage going on inside the supply tent.

Neteyam kept his arm around your waist as you entered the tent, shielding you from the hands that reached out to hit or hold you or him. He was surprised at the sudden uprise until he understood what was happening when he took in the gossip and looks he was getting and looked at his father who was trying to explain.

Ronal’s Tulkun, Roa, was found dead or rather murdered by the human, as well as her babe.

»»————-　𑁍　————-««

When Jake apologized and made his preposition on how to save the other Tulkuns from further harm, Neteyam saw Lo'ak running away from the crowd towards the diving edge, calling for his Ilu, immediately knowing what he was upto, he went behind him with you in tow after him.

“No way you're rolling out of here, baby brother” Neteyam said sternly as he walked in on Lo'ak strapping the saddle on the Ilu, Lo'ak halted, rolling his eyes at his brother in annoyance.

“I have to warn payakan about the pingers!” He snapped back but lowered his voice when he saw you behind Neteyam.

“No! you've gotta keep your skxwang ass here, you understand me?!” Neteyam said with a hint of annoyance lacing his, he didn't want another one of his brother's stupid mistakes to be blamed on him, not right now, not when he himself was about to be a father.

“Neteyam…Calm down” you whispered lightly, holding his arm back, you didn't want him to blow off on Lo'ak again, it could be done quietly and patiently.

Lo'ak on the other hand wanted to try and reason with him to let him go “he's an outcast, there's nobody to warn him but me”

Neteyam huffed, placing a hand on Lo'ak’s head, holding his brother in place “bro… why do you always have to make things so hard?”

Lo'ak hissed, flicking his brother's hand off his head in anger and defiance as his tone shifted to an aggressive one “No. You mean why can't I be the perfect son like you! The perfect little soldier! Who does everything right, has the perfect life and a perfect little mate and family! Well I'm not you! Okay?!” Neteyam sized him up and Lo'ak took a step back looking up at his brother and lowered his voice again “I'm not you..He's my brother! I'm going”

You were taken aback at that, you grabbed his arm making him face you as anger simmered in your eyes at what he just said “LO'AK!! What are you talking about?! He's your brother! Stop this right now! Is this how you talk to your brother?!”

Lo'ak skipped a look between you and Neteyam nervously as he took another step back but Neteyam stopped him by grabbing his arm tightly and forcing him to look “He's not your brother, skxwang! I am! And don't you dare talk like that again”

But Lo'ak was having none of it as he twisted his arm out of his grasp just when Tsireya, Ao'nung and Rotxo arrived giving Lo'ak a good distraction to dive into the water for his Ilu, Neteyam growled loudly before patting on Ao'nung’s chest “we have go behind him, he's going to payakan” he said urgently.

But something in your heart panged when he said that, a weird unease spreading to your chest again and you called out to him “teyam…please, don't go” you didn't know if it was stupid or not but you wanted to believe it “please, it doesn't feel right”

He looked back at you after he called his Ilu and came up to you quickly, cupping your cheek in his palm, stroking his thumb over your cheek, his other hand caressing your swollen belly, as he looked into your eyes intently, connecting your foreheads together and kissing your nose “Shh… I'll be right back, I promise, don't worry, I just have to put this Skxwang back in his place again” he whispered lovingly with a smirk, kissing your forehead one last time and giving your hand a tight squeeze before diving into the water with the others and following Lo'ak.

»»————-　𑁍　————-««

Your heart was pacing a mile per second, the feeling of dread getting worse when it was notified by Lo'ak that Payakan was marked by the humans and Neteyam was their with them, Almost half of the clan, including Ronal and Tonowari were gone to save them, but all you could think of was Neteyam.

Hours passed and the sun began to set, spreading an eerie red and orange hue throughout the sky, no news of anyone or anything, only the sight of the injured or fallen warriors broughton back to Awa'atlu filled your mind with nightmares you only prayed stayed in your dreams.

You placed a hand on your stomach, the feeling of your baby moving against your palm was enough to give you some courage to call your Ilu and riding over to the scene yourself following behind another group of Warriors who were sent back to help others.

»»————-　𑁍　————-««

The sight was a horror to take in as you sat on your ilu looking at the havoc the place was in, the ship sinking, fire ablaze on the water from the oil spill, the sky dusted in a amber color and dark smoke, as if matching the hell beneath on the water but your heart dropped when you saw the rock Island… with others gathered together around something.

Urging your ilu over to it, you climbed off of the creature before you saw a body lying on the rock and dread filled the pit of your stomach, the feet looked eerily familiar but you refused to think about it, it couldn't be… a cold shiver running down your spine, goosebumps spreading over your body as your breath hitched, before you could confirm your suspicions spider pulled you back, shaking his head, but that's all it took for your worst fear to come true, gears in your head turning as a scream erupted from your throat which ultimately caught everyone's attention in horror when they saw you, when you realized what you were looking at.

“NETEYAM!!!!! NO NO, GREAT MOTHER, PLEASE” you ran towards him but Neytiri stopped you, catching your body in her arms as your cries rang out for everyone to hear, thrashing in her arms as Jake came up to you “Shh look at me, look at me…” he whispered holding you back and not letting you see his body yet, placing his hands on your cheeks and forcing you to look at him as tears already ran down your cheeks.

“NO NO NO, NETEYAM, LET ME GO PLEASE!! please….” You sobbed as they held you back, Neytiri couldn't hold back either as she hugged you, your loss was far greater than any others, your knees gave out from the shock as they caught you once again before they let you go, knowing there was no denying it “It's going to okay, it's going be okay” Neytiri whispered desperately to calm you but nothing could soothe you in this moment.

Your heart almost stopped beating in your chest as you saw his lifeless body, crawling over to his side, with trembling hands as you touched his chest that was now covered in his blood, cold lifeless eyes staring up at the sky, as sobs wrecked your body, crying over your mate, who promised you he'd come back, who promised to spend the eternity together, now gone, forever.

Kneeling beside him as your wails of despair shook the heart of great mother herself, shaking your head in disbelief, as you held his limp hand in yours, only if he listened to you, only if he stayed back!

Your head laid on his chest, like the thousands of times before where he caressed your hair, as he hummed a sweet melody for you so you could sleep peacefully in his arms, listening to his heartbeat as you fell asleep, was cold, quiet and unmoving, as if the once alive, beating heart, never existed, you sobbed on his chest, blood coating the side of your face but you didn't care, holding his hand as if he would wake up and smile saying this was all just a dream and he was there with you, like he said.

Lo'ak placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you but it only fueled your anger towards himas you snarled at him viciously and everyone was taken aback “DO NOT TOUCH ME, STAY AWAY! ONLY IF YOU EVER DID AS YOU WERE TOLD TO THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED, LO'AK!”

Your anger was justified and no one dared to stop you or invented in between, Your screams hit him like bullets as he didn't say a word, stepping back as you turned back to look at Neteyam's face, still unable to register the fact that he's gone and would never come back to you or your child ever again and your weren't ready to face it just yet.

“Teyam, please… you promised, right? you promised you'd come back to us, please, you can't do this to me, teyam… I can't do this without you, you promised to be there with me, to hold our baby, to hold my hand, you can't do this to me please, we- we…” you couldn't even form words anymore as more tears streamed down your cheeks, breaking down to the point of no return as your cries rang through everyone's ears.

They all couldn't handle to see your desperate attempts and cries to get him back, in hopes to get you back, begging any greater force would listen to give him back, their hearts breaking even more as they saw you placing his hand on your stomach one last time as you broke down completely, your head placed on his chest, watching the horrific sight of a mate mourning over her other half as their symbol of love grew inside her.

You closed your eyes and held him close one last time, holding his hand one last time, laying your head on his chest one last time, his hand on your stomach to feel his child for one last time as he still watched the darkening sky unmoving “you promised…”

Ho Ho Ho : @cryinginthemoonpool, @luvv4j4ybe11, @xylianasblog, @plooto, @itchaboi-itchyboy, @pandoraslxna, @taylormarieee, @thewiltedpeony, @neteyamswillow, @danniackerman, @hotdsworld, @zafrinaxyz, @xstarsdiary, @moondaisye, @puddle-nerd, @eywxveng, @minnory, @neteyamssyulang, @tavsianus, @ele-sme.

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oikasugayama · 4 months

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hi !! u said u want smut requests so does nsfw alphabets with akutagawa count? 😭😭 feel free to ignore this and have a good day <333

Thanks for your patience, anon!! Here's 3k words (MDNI)

Akutagawa NSFW alphabet <3

Aftercare is something Akutagawa is surprisingly good at. Maybe it’s because he understands how vulnerable you have to be to get intimate with a partner; he isn’t letting someone inside of his body, but his own history of trauma has led to him feeling extremely uncomfortable without his clothes which hold the key to his ability. Because of this, he feels a deep need to be kind to his partner after sex. After a moment of calm in which both of you catch your breath, Akutagawa gets out of bed and starts filling the tub for a bath. He comes back with a soft, damp rag to wipe any sweat or cum off of his partner, then he leads you to the bath which the two of you share. He washes your hair, cleanses your skin, gives you loving kisses and so on. He likely also mutters soft “thank you”s into your hair and skin, as he's very appreciative that you'd let him play with your body.

Akutagawa’s favorite body part is your mouth, or more specifically your tongue. Before you got together he would catch himself staring at your mouth, wondering how soft your lips were and how they'd feel against his. When he finally got to find out, he became addicted to kissing you, and that only intensified when you started kissing with tongue. It's the softness for him, the special type of unfamiliar cushy soft spongy feeling. He's obsessed with it. He wants his mouth on yours all the time. He also likes your mouth on his body, kissing all across his skin and leaving little damp spots where you lick him. The first time your mouth touches his penis he almost blacks out. His hands aren't rough, but they're nowhere near as soft as the perfect velvet of the inside of your mouth. He would die a thousand deaths for that soft, warm feeling.

He’s not a cum eater, and he doesn’t expect his partner to be either, but when your mouth refuses to unlatch when he warns you of his approaching climax, he feels like his face is burning from the blush that overcomes him. He feels like it’s dirty-- it’s not, he knows that logically because he’s researched it, but he feels shameful still from his own insecurity. He thinks it’s hot at the same time. He can’t believe you want him so badly that you say you want “every last drop” of him, whether it’s in your mouth or in your cunt. He’s yet to cum inside without a condom, being overly careful that you avoid pregnancy, but one day he’ll let you have it. One day when things are safer.

Dirty talk isn’t exactly his forte. He can surprise you and occasionally drop some pussy-tingling one-liners (which he copies from things he’s heard his coworkers say when their conversations get raunchy, or things he’s read in books when he’s delved into modern romance at your behest). He can degrade you if you’d like, call you a greedy bitch when you ask him for another orgasm, call you a cock slut and his dirty little whore when you bounce on his cock and play with your tits unashamedly right in front of him. That’s about the extent of what he can say in bed, though. He gets nervous. He’s not a man of many words.

He’s not very experienced at all when you get together. He had a crush as a young teen in the slums, but he was too focused on taking care of his sister and protecting both of them to really try to approach one of the girls in their pack. There was a girl a couple years older than him when he joined the PM--she worked more with Chuuya than Dazai, so he rarely saw her, but they did steal kisses occasionally when no one was around. She always made the first move and he did whatever she asked. They never got beyond feeling each other up through their clothes before she didn’t come back from a mission, and he vowed not to get attached to anyone again, until you came along and broke that vow.

His favorite position is lotus. He likes you sitting in his lap, he likes the feeling of your legs locked around him. He likes being able to run his cold hands all over your warm skin and kiss you and hold you while you do most of the work bouncing and grinding on his dick. With his lungs being as frail as they are, he can’t get his heart rate up by doing a lot of moving, which you’re fine with accommodating. Though, when he does desperately want to take control, he loves bending you over a piece of furniture and fucking you from behind, especially when you start moving backwards to meet his thrusts (which you do half because it feels good and half because you want him to avoid a big coughing fit).

He will not be goofy at all in bed, and if you are he’ll give you a weird look. If he’s in a really good mood he may chuckle at whatever you said but he won’t respond. He takes sex fairly seriously; he’s focused on giving you pleasure to show his devotion to you, and his pleasure is a good consequence.

He won’t deny a hand-job, even if maybe you shouldn’t be giving him one in your current location. If you’re at dinner together, sitting beside one another, and you want to pleasure him so badly that you’re willing to reach under the table and pull him out of his pants, even though his coworkers are sitting around--oh it drives him crazy. He’s lucky to be stoic in those moments because even as you work him up and make him cum, his coworkers are none the wiser.

That being said, it should be obvious that he’s okay with fucking in inappropriate locations. It partially comes from being mafia-- most people know who he is just from looking at him. They wouldn’t dare mess with him or try to get him off of you, no matter how much you claw at him and scream his name. Absolutely anyone who walks into the alley (or the park. or on a boat. or in his office. or in someone else’s office. or in a PM car. or in the elevator.) he’s fucking you in can tell that you’re into it.

He jerks off occasionally before you’re together, but his sex drive isn’t very high. After you’ve gotten together, he becomes addicted to you and any time he wants release, he tries to get to you before resorting to his own hand. If you’re unavailable for whatever reason, he’s not opposed to going back to rutting against a pillow or lotioning up his hand, but it makes him grumpy because what he really wants is your pussy and nothing feels the fucking same anymore.

He doesn’t think he has any kinks, until the first time you touch him under the table with his coworkers, and then he realizes very quickly that he likes the idea of being caught. He loves the idea of people seeing him fucking you and thinking “oh, she belongs to him.” That’s what he wants whenever he takes you in the bushes or fucks you on the floor of a boat drifting barely a few hundred feet out from the port. He wants someone to see that you belong to him. (In a few years he’ll realize he has a breeding kink, too. It’s an extension of claiming you and everyone being able to see it. If he were a social media girly he’d be so tempted to post videos of his cum gushing out of your pussy bc GRRRRRR THIS IS HIS, BEHOLD!!! AKUTAGAWA’S PROPERTY!!!!)

He loooooves you. He’s smitten. He’s the definition of “you fell first, but he fell harder.” He LOOOOOOOVES you. Sometimes he looks at you and suddenly his face flushes red and his eyes widen and his heart rate picks up because his whole system is just overwhelmed with “oh my god!! Her!!” He always comes up to you and hugs you from behind or puts his hands on your waist or pulls you in to a kiss, completely ignoring whatever you were doing before, and he just holds you and touches you and almost always tries to get you into bed when he gets these love surges. The sex that comes after these love surges always involves him eating you out like pussy is his favorite meal, and then letting you ride him or do lotus position so he can hold you.

Haven’t we covered his motivation already? You, you, you, you, you. He wants to pleasure you. He wants to show you how much he loves you. He wants you to know how important you are to him. Yeah, he also likes the feeling of getting his rocks off. It’s a nice climax to his love surges. His secondary motivation would probably just be closeness and feeling like a normal person. For once in his life he feels normal. He’s just a guy with his girlfriend in his apartment and they have sex and make love and say sweet nothings to each other and he doesn’t have to think about any of the horrible things he’s done or seen or experienced in that time you spend together.

There are things he would definitely say NO to. He wouldn’t agree to adding another person into the mix. He wouldn’t let you get fucked by someone else, nor would he be comfortable fucking someone else for you to see. He doesn’t want to hit you, or be hit. No knives, no guns, no weapons, unless you count a rather tame leather fringe whip that you have, that’s fine. He’ll try any position, any location. He’d be more than fine with posting pictures or videos online in certain spaces. Rashomon is perfectly suited for bondage. But he will. not. let. you. call. him. daddy. He frowns. He stops. He pulls away. He asks if you’re okay and what your father did to you. It’s not a fun ending, so you don’t even try calling him that anymore.

Oral… He’s a pussy eating CHAMP! #1 Pussy Eater! When your relationship started turning sexual, Akutagawa took a large leap of faith and asked Tachihara for advice on how to pleasure a woman. Tachihara excitedly, and insistently, sent Akutagawa a video all about how to eat pussy and make a woman cum, and this led to Akutagawa watching several other educational videos, and ohohohohoh he is great at retaining information, and he’s even better at applying what he learned. It takes quite a while for him to admit that he learned it from videos--you laugh really hard when he does tell you, and you giggle and coo and comfort him when he thinks you’re laughing at him.

He prefers a slower pace, partially to prevent his coughing fits, mostly because he likes sex to be sensual. He allows you to change pace whenever you’d like, of course, and he honestly likes when you want him to go faster, go harder. You’re usually just as conscious of his coughing as he is, but sometimes you just hand him his inhaler when he’s balls deep and tell him to buckle up, buttercup, because if he doesn’t rearrange your guts you’re going to start clawing at the walls.

He’s fond of quickies. He doesn’t see the point in holding off orgasms. If you rush into his office and say you’ve got 15 minutes before a meeting and you really want his cock in your mouth, who’s he to say no? Similarly, if he’s missing you or struck with random horniness and he comes home for a lunch break and wants to fuck you wherever he finds you, how is that ever a bad thing?

We know he likes some risks, but not others. Public sex? Yes. Potential pregnancy? No (for now). Accidentally leaking pics or videos of you having sex with him? Yes (might not even be accidental). Weapons or dangerous items in the bedroom? No.

He doesn’t have a lot of stamina. He never has because he grew up in the slums, very ill, only running when he had to flee, trying to conserve energy and stay put when he didn’t have to go anywhere. Now as an adult he uses Rashomon for all his fighting. He doesn’t train. He doesn’t work out. So yeah, he’s not exactly the most fit, and he doesn’t have a ton of stamina. He can do multiple short rounds in a day if he’s extra excited, but usually you’ll get a nice hour (at most) with him in the evenings before his lungs and his dick tap out for the night.

He has an ever-expanding list of turn-ons. He gets hot and bothered when you wear short dresses and skirts, or tops that show cleavage, or bottoms that hug your butt and thighs really well. He likes when you wear your hair in a messy ponytail with little bits framing your face and lots of blushy and glowy makeup. He likes when you absentmindedly touch him when you’re near him-- sliding your hand across his back, twirling his long hair around your fingers, patting his leg when you sit next to one another. It’s not hard to turn him on.

He’s not very unfair in bed. As stated before, he doesn’t see the point in denying orgasms or withholding pleasure. He may do it occasionally. If you ask him to go multiple rounds and keep pleasuring you, he will, he’ll just leave himself out of it. He’ll eat you out and eat and lick and suckle and finger and lick until you’ve cum so many times you’ve lost count and you can’t form coherent sentences. That’s not really being unfair, since he’s giving you what you want ;)

He always encourages your volume to be high, though his typically remains low. He grunts and moans against your ear or your neck or your mouth more so than out loud. He isn’t trying to wake the neighbors by any means. It’s not that he doesn’t feel things strongly, it’s just that his voice doesn’t feel as connected to the situation as yours must. You can get loud and he likes making you that way. He hasn’t gotten a noise complaint yet, but he almost wants one just so he can look someone in the eye while they admit they heard him fucking you--AHA THEY KNOW YOU’RE HIS.

This post is my slow descent into fucking madness. For wild card I’m talking more about Akutagawa’s possessiveness and that breeding kink. Once his relationship is super serious and he realizes he wants to be with you for as long as possible, he considers leaving the mafia. When he considers leaving the mafia and finding another place for you two to leave peacefully, he also considers that you could have a nice, normal family… a family… little babies… you getting pregnant… him getting you pregnant… him cumming in you with no condom and pushing that cum back inside and holding your hips up in the air and looking at your pretty pussy while making sure all his cum seeps into your uterus to hopefully find an egg… he’s so hard right now. He’s bricked up. Even the technical scientific side of it turns him on because that’s his sperm and your egg and a part of him is going to be implanted in a part of you and then it’s going to attach to the uterine lining and it’s going to grow and become a baby and and and and an

He has a whole x-rated photo album in his phone. When it gets so full and when he misses you, he starts looking back at his favorites to get himself off. He’ll casually turn his phone to you sometimes and show a picture of you sitting on his lap, head thrown back, tits near his face, and his phone is in his hand behind your back catching a mirror pic of you two fucking. You didn’t even know he was taking it!! He just wanted to capture the moment okay… and he has a lot more of them, ranging from that one which was kind of sweet all the way to cum splashed on your face, your tits in his mouth, his balls pressed up against your pussy while your hand is playing with his dick. Some truly x-rated shit, and he’s so proud of it.

Oh boy does he yearn. When you’re separated for a long time (read: two days when he goes on a weekend trip) he sits around and huffs and puffs and is grumpy because he misses you. He literally calls you the second he’s free every day, and in the shower he looks at his special pictures of you, but he’s still so sad, so lonely. He misses his sweet girl. The lack of sex doesn’t bother him nearly as much as the lack of you in bed next to him does when one of you spends the night away from the other.

ZzZzZz… that’s the sound of Akutagawa breathing and just barely snoring in your ear after you’ve settled in for bed. He always makes you have a quick shower with him after having sex at home, whether in the morning or night, just to stay clean while also having an opportunity to throw the sheets in the wash. Once you’ve both settled back into bed with some fresh new sheets, he pulls you close to him, keeps one arm wrapped around you at all times despite how you both wriggle around to get comfortable, and eventually he falls asleep with you playing with his hair, his head near your shoulder, breath softly hitting your skin.

#ask answered #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa smut #akutagawa bsd #bsd akutagawa #bsd x reader #bsd smut #akutagawa #akutagawa fic #akutagawa headcanons

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ay0nha · 10 months

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An Ode to Ruination | T.S.

SUMMARY: Tommy was addicting. Chronic. His aura was intimidating. He was callus to those close to him. And yet, there was that desire to sink below that murky water—drown in him entirely when his want was so clear in his breath.

PAIRING: Tommy Shelby x f!reader

WORD COUNT: 2.5K

WARNINGS: ANGST, swearing, smoking, drinking, semi-preoccupations with thoughts of death/suicide, mutual pining, meanish tommy because his feelings are hurt, canon-typical things, protective!tommy, rushed ending, etc.

A/N: Yeah, yeah, I’m back on my bullshit. This is inspired by @zodiyack‘s request/post (here). HAD to get it out of my system, I mean look how pretty he is. This is a mix of Old writing I had to dust off the cob webs for mixed with new stuff, so be kind. Enjoy.

“You’re leaving.”

Tommy’s tone was sterile. It left little room for interpretation or defiance. The statement came without hesitation but held pent-up sentiment veiled by familiar poise. You vetted his blank gaze for proper determination of his upset.

The cracks behind his exterior were so deeply concealed you hadn’t thought anything could slip between. Yet, standing before him, your decision was the ice-pick that’s pressure had shattered him.

“Ada told you?” You hummed with formality; his presence clearly a response to the question. “London will treat me well.”

Tommy tracked your movements. You envied how he filled the space better than you. Perhaps it was the vulnerability in his presence. Regardless, you felt like a guest in your own home. You felt caught, exposed.

The air was thick, causing Tommy’s deep breaths hard to hide behind a crackling record that you had on a continual loop, never able to stand too much silence. Your bags were organized beside the door for the morning, causing your heart to echo against the empty walls.

There was an odd sense of pride you felt with his presence. It confirmed the distant admiration that Tommy held for years. That the shared affection wasn’t something fabricated but complex. You respected his drive, but your desires fell elsewhere. He carved space for you despite your protests, but you could never be the one to fill it—you could never be his.

“A better life, eh?” Tommy mocked you, cigarette rolling over his lips with habit. “Fucks sake.” The confidence in his demeanor faltered. But he regained it quickly with a bitter laugh, “...I’ve given you everything, and here you are asking for more.”

With an instinct to comfort him, you wanted to reach for him. It spoke of your ability to read him and how exhausting it had become to interpret. He would miss you.

“Tommy—” You began. The calmness in your voice was deceiving. You could see it in his face, how expectant he was for you to tell him you’d stay. “—I’m not safe with you.” You paused, letting your admission sink in just as harshly as his words had, “I’m going to London.”

—

The bliss was idyllic.

Your wrist balanced on the windowsill as you lazily tapped the ash of your cigarette. The cool air caressed your arm and gave you goosebumps that reminded you that you were still alive. Human. Your senses were perked. The city outside kept you attentive as your head rested back. The day was long, but hearing the taxis carrying bubbling people made it worth it. You imagined how some were on their way to find warmth in their home while others were dressed for an endless night of laughter.

The living room was empty and quiet. You could no longer hear Ada’s shuffling feet above you, ushering both her and Karl to sleep. It was odd that you found such freedom with them. Protection of sorts that you could rely on as a necessary stepping stone. It caused a headache to form at the back of your head, reminding you of your lack of sleep.

Privilege came with the name associated that made your stomach churn. It was simple to push Tommy into a subconscious level. The task became daunting; an ache emerged from so deep within that it took months to realize from the start he was responsible. It was as though you could feel how his eyes were still on you.

It became a habit to remind yourself of your newfound safety. The distance created life: happiness and tranquility. You traded bloody nights for bedtime stories, sewing razor-filled caps for gin-filled gatherings, and Tommy’s scarcity of communication for peaceful nights like tonight.

A disruption was overdue. You answered the phone after the third ring.

“Ada?” The voice was unmistakable, even if it was whiskey drenched. It took him a beat to realize you were on the other end. “... ’m callin’ for Ada.”

Chewing on your lip, you debated silence and pretended like the call had never begun. But that incessant ache begged to be relieved.

“I can wake her.” Your voice was soft, promising something you were unwilling to do. It was nicety that filled the quietness you were met with.

“I—uh—” Tommy sighed deeply. The words were lost, jumbled behind an always racing mind. You could picture him well; his crisp shirt no longer having life as it was rolled up by anxiety, his tie no longer present, but still suffocating him, and everything around him reflecting how he moved with an intemperate haze. “—I’m drowning—”

“Tommy…” You refused to burst, but his name on your tongue tattered between warning and heartbreak. When he drank, he opened up to you, a foolish cycle. “Let me get Ada…”

The dark chuckle on the other end forced you to press yourself closer to the phone. “Sometimes, I wish I were dead so you'd think of me.”

A frown perked your lips. You were made out to be more heartless than the most heartless man you knew. It was a naive guilt trip that you almost slipped on. “Be fair to me, Tommy.”

There was a crackle on the other end, a cigarette lit purely by regret. The drag was long, trying to pull something thoughtful from a blurred mind. The reports he received from those he paid off weren’t enough. You were thriving with his absence, seen with a mix of people who, even acquaintances, valued you better. It elicited resentful envy. However, out of arms reach, you worried Tommy endlessly. The London associates sought blood, no matter who provided it. The paranoia was ruining him, and no answer could reassure him.

“You a communist yet?” Tommy cleared his throat with a vulnerability that was only reserved for this night. Maybe, you thought, it was an effort on his part.

“Almost…” The teasing comforted a dodged homesickness. “Think my card got lost in the post.”

“Shame.” He tutted with a gentle wit. There was a tender sadness he carried with him. It was almost as volatile as his anger. It was easy to blame it on the war, but it had latched onto him long before, never planning to let go.

You imagined how his exhaustion mapped along his body. His body probably mirrored your own; head back, limbs weakly sprawled, heavy-lidded eyes imagining the other beside each other, and a mutual worry that bounced between you.

“I am happy, Tommy…” Your promise was delayed, hardly believable. “Ada and I do miss everyone.”

I miss you.

Tommy hummed, “...have a funny way of showin’ that.”

“You haven’t seen our smoke signals?”

The laugh you were met with was small, light, and barely there, but it rushed through your limbs and heated your chest. You had a moment to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. Tommy was addicting. Chronic. His aura was intimidating. He was callous to those close to him. And yet, there was that desire to sink below that murky water—drown in him entirely when his want was so clear in his breath.

—

You knew Tommy would be there. For Ada—you reminded yourself. Yet, seeing him so closely caused your heart to lurch, your blood leaving your extremities with such fascination that you became light-headed.

“Drink.” Ada all but scolded you, crystal pushed into your hand. The instruction was welcomed, but it wasn’t enough to settle you. “Otherwise, you’ll clam up if Tommy bothers to find us.”

Tommy worked the crowd well. It was a feigned charm that he played into only for advantage. Although he claimed to be here for family, business always loomed. Ada hadn’t cared either way, the glitz far too intriguing to question his sudden presence in the city.

“Give him time…” Ada spoke openly to the air, her night’s indulgence tracing her words. “...always time with that one—wastes it, and yet, expects you to be there when he hollers. Does your head in, it does…”

The champagne bubbled down your throat. The night was meant to be celebratory, but you’d be lying if you said you knew why. It was a part of your distinction from the Shelby family that you questioned if ignorance truly brought you bliss.

“Surprised he came himself. Thomas Shelby in the flesh,” Ada continued with ease, mocking her brother. “Surprised he even lifted a pinky. Typically one of his goons—” She looked to you, her revelation cutting her off. “You do understand what you do to him, don’t you?”

“I don’t want to.” Your words were sharp. Your eyes filtered the crowd for the gloved waiter to replace your glass. “There’s nothing that I—I’ve put all that behind me.”

“That?” She pressed with practiced bits of patience. Ada’s smile grew comically. The shy glancing took years to turn into full sentences and Ada knew firsthand how to read her brother, and the way he lingered spoke volumes. He was past smitten.

It was all or nothing; you were it.

You were grateful how her attention shifted to her own relationship. You never tired of hearing how Freddie treated her and loved her since they were children. There was somberness in her eyes, but devotion carried in her words. You saw how she carried him with her; certain mannerisms mirrored not only in her but Karl. Love withstood.

There was a point in your life you believed you’d find something similar. You hadn’t faulted your growing mind; it was natural to romanticism your future at such a young age. Those around you promised there was something fruitful to look forward to. However, life proved difficult; men remained boys, and the only person that you regarded stalked toward you as if you were nothing more than a stranger.

“Ada.” Tommy approached his sister as if she were alone. He’d visited her in the city multiple times but never once shared the air with you. “Enjoying yourself tonight, eh?”

“Mothers can still have fun.” She teased him with a peck on the cheek. Even in her state, she ridiculed her brother’s behavior. With a shoulder pushed against his, Ada encouraged Tommy to acknowledge you. “Have you no manners?”

To others, his expression may have appeared vacant. However, Tommy wrestled with himself, unsure how to maneuver in uncharted territory. Stalling, his eyes danced the crowd as he languidly out his matches and carton. It denoted how natural his icy illusion became, and now he seemed able to practice it on you. Once he landed on you, you realized why he struggled to meet your eyes. It was his only form of self-defense.

“London suits you.” Tommy nodded, his greeting muffled through the newly lit cigarette. The small rush it gave him was enough to stay vigilant.

“It has its moments.” Your chest perked from the attention and chill, but Tommy’s eyes never faltered from your own. You were daring him to take your body in. It was the sole reason you chose a dress that cut low both front and back.

Tommy was never a blind man.

Nor was his sister. Ada excused herself, claiming whatever ‘this’ was, she wanted no part. You are no fun, she said. However, you weren’t sure who it was directed to. You held back from following her, but your shoulders remained open; you wouldn’t fold into yourself.

“I didn’t know communists could have fun…” Tommy mumbled to himself, eyes going to the crowd once more. Ada’s self-imposed isolation rippled through the family, only fracturing the stress of everyone’s well-being.

A scoff bubbled in your throat, “And what do you know about pleasure?”

“Pleasure?” Tommy became focused and pointed with his words. “Pleasure doesn’t exist.”

Eyebrows cinching with frustration, you stepped closer to be heard, “Don’t pretend like your pleasures don’t have names.”

That drunken call all those nights ago was a mistake. It showed you insight into a dream. In that dream, Tommy was free of what haunted him, light and present. Faithful. There his voice wrapped you in warmth with fulfilled promises. You never were as skilled at hiding your emotions. Your heart was broken on your sleeve.

“I’m going to—

There wasn’t a need for a protective air as those around Tommy knew never to challenge him. However, far and few between, there were those men self-entitled with such idiocy; they couldn’t recognize they were prey.

“Thomas Shelby. Birmingham man in London.” A hand clapped down on his shoulder, breaking the forming bubble around you. “Thought that was you! This must be the missus…”

“Not quite.” Your tone was bare, your hand extending with trained expertise. You could handle pleasantries. But the man was bold, leaving a damp kiss on your knuckles as if marking you.

Tommy was subtle, moving his body to act as a buffer. Fingertips brushy feather-bare against your lower back. You thought it would end there but held back a flinch when Tommy’s warm palm flattened where your back curved.

“Ah, understood!” The man replied with a boisterous cackle. It reflected years of unfiltered nicotine and a wet and sick penchant for bourbon. “I’ll have one of you warm my bed once all of this shit is over.”

You pinned your breath to the roof of your mouth. Your loss for words wasn’t due to the ill-mannered man. It was from the brush of Tommy’s thumb against your skin. It was a comfort and an apology for how he would have to agree with the man to keep him at bay.

It was all a part of the plan you were slowly catching onto.

“A good lay is a good lay, isn’t it, Mr. Shelby?” The man prompted again, a gauge to know if the future alliance would be worth it.

“Exactly right.”

You could storm off, cause a scene. Your anger steeped deeper than that. It lived in your bones, morphing into something vindictive. You stayed the course and played your part willingly. The morals you lectured Tommy on didn’t matter anymore when all along he had the upper hand.

To the man, you were a plaything, someone who the conversation held no standing. The information would be forgotten, implied confidentiality, as you’d move on to your next client. However, the further you orchestrated the conversation to continue, the more you learned.

The night was a business move, another party dosed in secrets and danger. You took in the man’s features, noting how he was aging, greys just starting to filter through his scalp. Your stomach turned, knowing there would be a bullet between his eyes by the end of the evening. The interaction was a courtesy.

Once alone again, you didn’t hesitate to move from Tommy’s shield. You felt dirtied.

“I can’t believe you.” You spat. “You’re incapable of—

“Enough.” Tommy’s words were low. He pinned you with a look alone, keeping you steady. “You want to run from me, but you can’t.” You battled with him until you lost. His face hardened like you were another associate. “It was him or you.”

#q #tommy shelby #tommy shelby angst #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x f!reader #thomas shelby #thomas shelby fluff #thomas shelby angst #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x f!reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fic #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader

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greatstormcat · 4 months

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Run, Rabbit

König x f!reader

TW: MDNI 18+, darkfic, death, blood, non/con, dub/con, oral f!receiving, p in v, kidnap, bondage, if you read this do not complain because you’ve been warned and you are an adult who made an informed decision

Not doing my usual taglist as this is a darkfic but @neoarchipelago asked for a specific shout for this one

Based on an anonymous ask, so thank you for sending it in 🖤🖤🌙

It was late afternoon as you sat in the passenger seat of your rental car, your boyfriend driving the two of you to your holiday cottage for a long awaited week of relaxation. The two of you had bantered about who was getting into the hot tub first that night, giggling about making out under the stars. Now you o watched as the beautiful forest passed by the car windows, a fairytale setting with no one around for miles to disturb you. That is until a figures stands in the narrow road, waving you down to a stop.

Three armed soldiers had stepped out from behind an armoured truck at the side of the road and flagged you down, so naturally, your boyfriend pulled over. As you watch, one of them moves towards the driver’s side, the other two hanging back by the truck, one of them being the biggest man you’ve ever seen. His face is hidden under some kind of hood, but his eyes are locked on yours as he stands there.

Questions are asked in German, which you don’t understand but your boyfriend answers smoothly, a hand on your leg to ease your nerves as the armed men move around your car. A tension settles over you, the way the men look at you through the window is… unsettling.

The soldier by the door shrugs at last and steps back slightly, his hand coming to rest on his belt as he puts distance between himself and the driver's door. Time slows down for you as you watch him draw the gun from his thigh holster, and take aim at your boyfriend before firing. The sound is overwhelming, making you throw your hands up protectively before you knew what was happening.

Red paints the inside of the car, and your boyfriend slumps over against your shoulder. After a second of ringing ears and confusion, you scream. You scramble from the car, falling to hands and knees, scraping your palms on the rough ground as you skitter on the loose stone. Finally your trainers find grip and you lurch forward, arms flailing for balance to the sound of the soldiers laughter as you sprint towards the trees.

“Oh no… come back!” You hear them taunting you amidst their merriment, and your heart thumps in your ears.

Don’t look back, don’t look back, you tell yourself as you plunge in between the oak and sycamore trees before you. A voice calls out behind you, a terrible singsong tone to it.

“Lauf Kaninchen, Lauf Kaninchen!”

You keep going until your lungs give out and you have to stop, or risk passing out on the forest floor leaving yourself completely vulnerable. Leaning against a tree you look around, the light fading from the sky already and you are sudden hit with just how fucked you really are. It's going to get dark soon and you have three madmen hunting you. A voice calls from your right, and without hesitating you sprint away from it, its far too close for comfort, pushing through bushes and branches that reach out and tear at your clothes.

Suddenly a tall, dark shape steps from behind a tree to your left, a weapon raised and your turn to your right, a startled cry caught in your throat as you blindly run through the undergrowth.

Time and again you see the same man, the tall, hooded soldier appear to one side or the other, as though he is stalking you, tracking you. Eventually your legs give out and you stumble into a small clearing. A gnarled tree on one side of the clearing has roots that lift up, making small hollows underneath, and you crawl into one.

There’s hardly any light left in the sky, and the air is damp and cold, making you shiver as you crawl into the roots of the tree, bugs and cobwebs catching at your skin.. If you can hide here all night, out of sight without freezing to death, you can find help in the morning, you tell yourself. You sit, cowering in the dark, dank space. Heavy footsteps approach, obvious and meant to torment as they stop before your hiding space. Holding your breath, you watch as the man crouches down, craning his neck to peer inside.

“Don’t be frightened,” he coos in a harsh, German accent. It’s the same soldier with the hood, your stomach turns over at the sight of his eyes through the hood covering his face. They’re like chips of ice, cold and hard. “Come now, come here.” His tone is soft, like he is trying to get an errant kitten to come closer to him, totally at odds with his actions so far.

You push your shoulder blades harder into the dirt behind you, kicking with your feet as he grabs at your ankles. The big bastard manages to catch hold of one flailing limb, and you hear his triumphant chuckle as he throws his body weight backwards, hauling you out of the hole.

With a pathetic wail you try to grab anything you can to stop yourself being dragged through the leaf litter and soil, damp clods sticking to your hair and clothes.

He rolls as soon as you are free of the roots of the tree and pins you beneath his massive weight. The sudden feel of a warm body against your chilled self is jarring, a terrible mix of wanting to be warm but not wanting him to touch you. On instinct you move, trying to wriggle from beneath his crushing weight, but it backfires and he ends up getting his heavy thighs between your legs.

The giant grinds against you, an unmistakable hardness rubbing against your crotch, and you try not to dwell on it. His breath becomes more harsh now he is getting closer to what he wants.

“See, it’s not so bad is it?” He tells you, gripping your jaw with one gloved hand to force you to meet his eyes as he presses himself against your clit. Tiny spasms shoot through your pelvis everytime he moves, and your face gives it away, making him chuckle at your predicament.

“Ah… that’s it, lovely little thing,” you can hear the grin in his voice. “That’s it, you keep feeling that. It's good, ja? I’m going to make you feel so much better soon enough.”

He keeps the movement of his hips going, your body reacting to the stimulation to your clit, heat pooling in your pussy against your will until your face heats with the sensation of moisture in your underwear. Without warning he gets up, hauling you up by your collar with a startled cry, and drags you roughly along with him. You're confused by where he is taking you until you see there is a small cabin a few meters away from you at the opposite edge of the clearing, its windows glowing in the darkness. He had been herding you in this direction on purpose you realise, that's why he didn’t make a grab for you when he could have.

As you are bundled towards the door his radio beeps, making you startle, and he answers the voice at the other end.

“I have her,” he says, pride clear in his tone. “Ditch their car and come by in the morning with the truck. I’m going to take my time, vielleicht behalte ich dieses sogar.”

The cabin is tiny, a single room with walls lined with stacks of crates in a dark, military looking green. A small black wood burner is the sole light and heat for the room, and to your horror you see the shuttered windows have metal bars over them. It smells of wood smoke and dirt. The sound of the door shutting and a bar being drawn across it makes you turn, just in time to see the hooded soldier snap a padlock onto the securing bar.

“Now, Schatz, you’re mine until the morning,” he says, shrugging out of his heavy vest and letting it fall to the ground with a solid thud. He takes a step closer, boots crunching against the dirty wooden floor, looking you over as he tilts his head to one side. “I’m König, just so you know what name you’ll be screaming.”

He takes off his helmet but not the hood, and puts it on the nearest stack of crates, walking slowly forward again, still stalking you. When the wall bumps the back of your head you discover you’d been walking backwards without noticing.

“We’re going to have fun together,” he says softly in that disturbing singsong tone again, planting his hands either side of your head and leaning closer to you.

You flinch when he grabs you, pulling you away from the wall by the front of your t-shirt, ripping and tearing at the fabric as you fight against him. It’s like fighting a bear, he is too big and strong to stop. Soon you are pinned to the floor on your front, naked and terrified, as he straddles the backs of your thighs, a length of paracord in his hands.

He lashes your forearms together behind your back so they crossover at the small of your back, landing a hard smack on your rump once he is done and getting off the backs of your legs.

“There, you can’t get into too much trouble like that,” he sighs as though he is proud of a job well done. König roughly grabs your hips, pulling them up so you rest your knees on the hard boards and pushes your thighs apart. You are trapped in that position, face on the ground and pussy completely exposed to him, slick glistening from his earlier grinding.

“Hervorragend…” he mutters from behind you, his tone one of awe, like he were admiring a painting or sculpture rather than a bound and frightened captive. His tongue runs over your clit and through your folds towards your backside.

“No!” you cry out and try to shuffle forward, away from him, but he grabs your thighs and holds you in place as he flicks his tongue over your clit again and again. König uses his thumbs to spread you open for him, tongue dipping into your cunt and lapping at the quickly gathering juices, your body betraying you as he assaults you with his tongue.

“Verdammt köstlich,” he groans before pushing his tongue as far into your pussy as possible, your muscles shaking with the urge to get away. You feel rough stubble against your skin. The hot muscle of his tongue dips and slides expertly in and out of your depths, circling your clit and teasing at your sensitive flesh over and over. The more you fight to get away, the more your muscles tighten, and the quicker the orgasm you don’t want builds inside you. He grips your thighs in his hands, feeling you tremble as he works you mercilessly.

You come with tears stinging your eyes and a burning throat, drool and tears staining the dirty wooden floorboard under your cheek. As you cry out from the release your captor moans and laps greedily at your pussy, making languid passes with the flat of his tongue, drinking in everything he can. You feel so exposed, violated, trapped, and you sob as you catch your breath.

“Now you’re ready, I don’t want to break my new toy,” he huffs, flipping you over onto your back and pulling your hips into his lap, your thighs open around his waist. Your arms slip across the floor under your back, thankfully protected by the rope binding your forearms. König has removed his shirt at some point, revealing a heavily muscled torso, scars scattered across his skin, but his hood is still in place obscuring his face. Your mind wanders back to the times you’ve ogled models or actors online, and he would fit in fine with them, you muse in a haze.

He releases his cock from his combat trousers, palming the worryingly long and heavy length a few times, spreading the viscous liquid from his tip around. Without another word he rubs the swollen tip up and down your pussy, making you whimper at the feeling, despairing at your lack of escape and waiting for the inevitable pain of this monster fucking you. Your legs kick weakly, trying to get a purchase on him to push away, but he bats them down without effort, pulling them around his waist again.

“Relax, Liebling,” he whispers, and pushes the tip in with agonising care, as though he were a lover mounting you for the first time. His eyes are locked on the head of his cock, watching as it slowly invades you, deeper and deeper, his breath coming in shaky snatches showing his excitement. The stretch is a deep burn as he splits you open, muddling with the aftershocks of your orgasm and letting him bully his way inside.

“I keep this for special occasions like this,” he chuckles, producing a tiny lipstick vibrator from one of the pockets of his combat trousers. He presses it to your clit and turns it on, your hips bucking at the sudden flood of sensation and forcing his cock in the rest of the way. You both groan as he hilts himself in you, and without waiting he drags his hips back, rubbing your drenched walls with his length before sliding back in.

“You’re going to love being on my cock,” he grunts, pausing between each thrust as he speaks. “You’re going to beg for it every day.”

The wet noises of your pussy sucking at his cock fill the cabin, the whine of the vibrator doing nothing to hide it. He leans forward, the fabric of the hood draping over your skin as his spine curls forward, his pace picking up slightly as you barely begin to adjust. You hope against hope König won’t last long, that he’ll have his fun and finish with you quickly, especially as that fucking vibrator teases your clit and quells the edge of pain from his size.

Your gasps and whines slowly alter, descending into moans and whimpers as your traitorous body tenses, another orgasm twisting tightly in you lower stomach. He feels you tightening, wriggling to try and pull yourself off his length and stop the pressure from building.

“Come on, show me how good it feels,” he snarls, snapping his hips sharply against you, driving his cock into the most sensitive spot inside you. His one hand grips your shoulder, fingers digging into your neck to help drive him into you, the other tilts and moves the small toy. He chases the spots that make you clench the hardest, that bring the moans you cannot hold back, seeking to make you destroy yourself. The tension builds, to the point of pain nearly, until it snaps and you come again, harder than before and scream.

“Fuck, yes!” Your captor roars with triumph. The vibrator is thrown away, bouncing into the shadows of the cabin, before König grips both of your shoulders and hauls you upright into his lap, his cock still hard and buried in your twitching, aching cunt. You’re exhausted, limp in his grip, and your head falls against his shoulder, your skin damp with sweat as your face presses against his skin.

“Ah, rest a moment,” he whispers, holding you tightly to his chest. “We have many more hours to go yet….” He starts grinding into you again and you choke out a sob. You’re not getting out of here, he hasn’t even come yet.

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mcyt-trios · 7 months

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PROPAGANDA:

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

L'mantrio:

brothers in arms. nothing much to say here I'm bad at propaganda sorey

They're brothers your honor, they're the original 3 members of l'manburg, they're so underrated, they're literally my favorite ever trio

#mcyt-trios #mcytblr trio bracket #mcyt #polls #round 4

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takahas · 10 months

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Regrets - suguru geto

-> suguru's life flashes before him and reminisces the time he had with you.

It is the summer of Japan 2009, when suguru geto decides to leave jujutsu high.

He meets with shoko, who's taking a puff out of her cigarette as per usual, when he's already been branded as a traitor.

She treated him the same, as if he didn't just massacre a whole village and became a curse user, burst out shocked when he revealed his plans to her.

He was glad that shoko, his dear friend, met him with open arms, didn't question anything he didn't feel open to answer, she let him take his time. That was all that he could wish for.

Even his one and only best friend, satoru gojo, as much as he didn't want to, he did. He tried to talk to satoru face to face, tried to memorise the vulnerable look on satoru's face, his bright blue eyes and his shape jaw. He memorised satoru's kind and friendly expression that he knew the next time they met would end up cold and menacing. Although, he couldn't face satoru the whole time, he couldn't bear to (because he knew he regret his choices immediately)

He knew by leaving satoru like that he would be devastated, would feel as if geto had just torn his limbs off one by one and that almost made geto think twice.

But he knew, knew that he had to try, had to give it a chance and for once even if he had to leave everything behind and start anew, so he placed what he wanted above what satoru or you wanted or what anyone wanted in general.

And that's why he refused to say anything to you.

Days before he made his decision, he flinched away from your touches, refused to look at you in the eye during your usual sparings, refused to hold you. He saw it, the hurt flash in your eyes when he moved his hand back, your hand helplessly dangling in the air.

And that one time when he had been walking to his room back from practice, he had heard sniffles coming from your room. He knew, he knew it was him that caused you the pain. He knew everything.

He had wanted to barge in and hug you tight like he always did, when he uttered that he was never going to leave you deep in the nights when the both of you were huddled together under his blankets, clothes that were once worn now thrown onto the floor, the musky smell of sex feeling the air.

He squeezed you tighter and hugged you closer. Even when if he felt the discomfort of skin sticking to skin, the only thing he had on his mind was how much he loved you, how much he had wanted to stay by your side, how much he had just wanted to be yours in a normal life, not as jujutsu sorcerers.

And curse him for thinking this way as he covered haibara's dead body with nanami slumped in the corner, arm covering his eyes as he blamed himself for the boy's death. And that's when it had hit him that no, not in this life.

So he refused to let himself sink deeper in your warmth, refused to second think his choice, refused to see your lips spreading apart as you whispered to him how much you loved him, refused to see the tears spilling on your face (he knew he would cave in and kiss those tears away), refused to see you, feel you.

And that might be one of the things geto regrets as he sits slumping against the wall, right after his battle with the jujutsu high students.

He hears satoru's footsteps getting heavier and finally pausing, hearing satoru crouch down to face him. He tilts his head just a tiny bit, wincing at the pain that shoots through over that tiny action.

If satoru yelled at him, hit him, or even cursed him, he would have felt better, would have felt that everything he chose to do was worth it.

But as satoru gently smiled at him, eyes softening as he spoke to suguru, everything that he did hit him like a wave.

And suddenly, the only thing he could think about was you.

On nights when he felt lost, on nights when he debated going back, turning himself in, he would think of you.

He would think of how much he missed waking up to you, of your giggles, of the way you would have a habit of bitting the lips that he loved to kiss, of the way you would scrunch your eyebrows at satoru as you hid your smile, and of the way you would stare up at him with eyes full of love, as if no one compared to him and the only thing in your mind was suguru geto.

He had wanted to marry you, grow old with you, have kids with you, wake up by your side every day and hear the soft tone you always had that he could never get tired of whenever you called him 'suguru' (he could already tell from the warm pit in his stomach that you would be the death of him)

And suddenly, geto wishes he had bid you goodbye, that he had seen you one last time before he closes his eyes forever.

He smiles sourly to himself and resigns to his fate, until he hears familiar soft padding of footsteps.

He recognises those footsteps as ones that he had heard countless of times during his youth. The sounds continued on and grew increasingly louder until they were directly in front of him and black pristine shoes came into his view.

As you crouched down, the shoes were replaced with the image of your face, your hair having grown from last time and your features having been more accentuated than the last time he had seen you. He thinks you're ethereal and fuck, he wishes that he had chosen to stay behind instead.

You who he had avoided, you who he left without a proper goodbye, you who only smiled softly with him, the same softness and fondness still there, love and sadness filling your eyes.

Your palm rested against the side of his face, thumb stroking his cheek and geto leans in to enjoy the familiar warmth.

Although more matured and older, you're the same as he remembers.

He thinks maybe, if just maybe, what if he had pushed away his thoughts, what if he gave in to the warmth you were so willing to share, what if he gave in to the sweet morning kisses, what if he gave in to you.

He would have been in a different situation, probably having his legs tangled up with yours under the sheets right now, you staring up at him with that sweet smile of yours and love shining in your eyes.

But he realises, even with regrets, he has things he doesn't.

And so as he drifts off, he echoes in his mind :

In the next life, I promise, when we're normal humans, I'll find you and I won't let you go.

Thanks for reading !! My first post on tumblr😭😭 still trying to figure out some of the writng settings in the meantime, enjoy this slight angst :>

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #suguru #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #jjk fanfic #jjkangst #jjk imagines #geto #geto imagines #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto x you #brainfart #i sat there and thought about this 10 mins before writing

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old-people-like-avatar · 3 months

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Netflix Avatar the Last Airbender S1 - Overall Thoughts [SPOILERS]

I am a longtime fan of Avatar the Last Airbender. I did not watch it in its original 2005 run, but I discovered it in around 2010 after my good friend R.S. recommended it to me. It's been my #1 favorite TV show ever since and I have rewatched it more times than I can count. I was cautiously optimistic about NATLA.

Now, having watched the whole first season of NATLA, and looking at the season as a whole, I think the best word to describe it is uneven. I can't say that I loved it, and I can't say that I hated it. But there were things I really liked about it and things that really did not work for me. Overall, I enjoyed watching it -- if only to dissect what did and did not work about the adaptation -- and would want to watch more.

WHAT WORKED

Everything to do with Zuko and Iroh. I found myself going back through just to rewatch all of the Zuko and Iroh-related scenes. I thought Dallas Liu really nailed Zuko -- from tantrums about his journal being stolen to incredible action sequences to the boyish vulnerability of worrying about the laces on his gauntlets. He took an iconic character and made him his own. NATLA added some incredible scenes and lines to my favorite duo: Lu Ten's funeral (coupled with orchestral version of "Leaves from the Vine"); Zuko's first war council; Iroh choosing to go with Zuko on the boat; the 41st Division; Iroh putting a blanket on Zuko. And I liked that NATLA emphasized that Iroh needed Zuko in the wake of Lu Ten's death as much as Zuko needed Iroh after his mother left.

Daniel Dae Kim's interpretation of Ozai. Ozai in ATLA is kind of one-dimensional. Daniel Dae Kim's Ozai adds a deeper layer to him in that he genuinely seems to think he's doing legitimate parenting -- even going so far as to visit Zuko after burning his face and remarking, glibly, that he'll recover ("but he'll never heal," says Iroh). It adds an even more monstrous angle to his cruelty because Kim's Ozai seems to think he's doing it for his children's own good. This post perfectly encapsulates my feelings about why I thought the agni kai between Ozai and Zuko was an excellent addition to NATLA.

Zuko/Aang. These two bonding over goat hair brushes was the scene I never knew I needed. The way Aang managed to wrest a little smile out of Zuko in that scene before Zuko blew up at him for criticizing the Fire Lord? And the way that tied into the "Compassion is a sign of weakness" scene from the agni kai? Great character work.

WHAT DID NOT WORK

Dialogue. I already observed at length my dissatisfaction with the clunky, exposition-dumping dialogue in my episode-by-episode writeups. It certainly wasn't as bad as the Movie-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, but . . . there was no art or subtlety to it, and no trust in the audience. A disappointment.

The GAang did not feel like family. The lack of breathing room in the 8-episode season meant that all of the "filler" episodes that fleshed out the relationships between Aang, Katara, and Sokka were sacrificed. I am not saying NATLA needed to recapture each of the filler episodes. But they needed to build the foundational bonds between the main trio with showing not telling and they really didn't. They separated them for big chunks of 2 episodes. And, really, they just felt like traveling companions. That took all of the emotional heft out of, well, everything related to Aang, Katara, and Sokka. I mean, frankly, the kid actors did a better job establishing the "family" dynamic just by being themselves in their press interviews than the show did with the characters.

Aang did not run away from responsibility. I am not one of those people that's just mad that the show wasn't exactly like the cartoon. No. What I mean is, even putting aside the cartoon, even if you just look at NATLA itself: their own themes were undercut by never showing Aang actually running away from responsibility. Each avatar seemed to be berating Aang for doing something he was never actually shown to be doing.

Katara. I really don't think this one is on the actress. Katara felt like a fundamentally different character from ATLA's Katara. It's not to say an adaption is not allowed to have their own interpretation of a character, but... I just did not understand NATLA Katara. There was no passion, no rage, no overbearing nurturing. She was... I don't know what she was. Traumatized, yes, but nothing grew out of that trauma? Meek, until the plot demanded that she suddenly become a waterbending master without any guidance other than a waterbending scroll? The "younger sister"? More than any of the main characters, I'm not sure what NATLA was trying to say about Katara at all. And, as a result, I'm afraid the word to describe it might be uninteresting. And given that she is the heart and soul of Team Avatar, this one was really tough.

Despite the fact that a lot of NATLA did not work for me, I still enjoyed it because the things that did work for me, well, really worked. So. I'm here for all of the Zuko/Iroh scenes!

#avatar the last airbender #atla #a:tla #avatar: the last airbender #netflix atla #natla #netflix avatar #live action avatar

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probablyhuntersmom · 1 year

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The contrast is so poignant when it comes to Belos isolating Hunter for years and instilling the fear of wild magic, versus Hunter's future in carving palismen to connect with nature and with others.

We have his signature gloves as part of all his outfits before he went to the human realm, representative of that isolation and fear: Belos wanting to keep 'Caleb' to himself, wanting to prevent Hunter from forging connections and thus finding freedom. The gloves come off once Hunter has room to create and experiment and explore.

During the many many months in between him beginning to learn the palismen-carving craft and us seeing him mastering it in the epilogue, there would've been many setbacks. Many cuts and splinters via mistakes (thus, more wounds and scars...small, but numerous) and bandages on his hands, like what happened with the sewing needle. Thus, many times when he was reminded of what happened with his best friend. I can imagine that on the more difficult days of learning under Dell, remorse and horrible memories eating into him, he'd be more at risk of leaving more cuts because it would be harder to focus. There would've been days where he got close to giving up.

In his arc, this changed everything:

He was found by a free-spirited, strong-willed palisman.

This was when things began to be truly dangerous:

but by then he gathered enough courage to finally question Belos directly.

What a high price to pay. Recovery from trauma is certainly that way in real life too. But it led him on that path towards transformation, towards what he truly wanted.

In his old life, he'd point a staff at others to intimidate, to instill fear, and be Belos's instrument in furthering a cause that Hunter didn't truly support.

In the future, he generously gives palismen to others from the heart, via new creations made with his own hands, to bring more love, connection and wonder into the world. Letting others live out their truth via the bonds forged with their new palismen, the same kind of truth he himself had to fight so hard for.

If we rewind back to what the Bat Queen said in Hunting Palismen:

contrast that with this point in Hunter's arc:

Still blocked and numbed out from fully experiencing the worst thing he had ever been through: being possessed and in that process, slaying Flapjack.

Willow and Gus had just began to reach that vulnerability within him, moving him with their love and support (which is why the anger he had for around 2/3 of For the Future began to subside).

But it wasn't enough.

In the finale, he gets some temporary respite and relief:

But I believe the real gruelling work was to begin beyond this exact point:

More vulnerability ahead, to pave the way for healing.

Putting the scene of him looking at the old Flyer Derby photo (in For the Future) next to the scene where the Bat Queen sums up what palismen are all about...it indicates to me how steep the climb would be to connect with the full range of his emotions and memories, which parallels his development under Dell's mentorship. To bring some beauty out of that horror he has endured. To bring about the conviction that yes, he deserved Flapjack's gift, from Flapjack's sacrifice.

It would've been years before he would confidently and effortlessly rest in the truth of who he really is, and who he would like to be (remember his "Even if I'm not who I'm supposed to be, I like who I am right now" in front of the mirror, right before getting possessed?).

Liberating himself from enmeshment with his violent abuser and that old life, a process he'd have to repeat again and again even beyond Belos's death. Changing that narrative of "supposed to":

into freely choosing the person he would like to become after Flapjack granted him love and literal life. We receive the one clue that he wanted to freely choose, as early as this scene:

When it comes to palismen, we have "emotion" and "conviction" and also the deepest wishes that witches have in their hearts.

For emotion to flow freely, there must be vulnerability, generosity and love: Hunter integrating even the most difficult emotions into his story.

For him to grow into acceptance of his future major role, it would have involved wrestling with many questions to reach that place of conviction.

#whoops I got emotional. again. now you guys get this #the owl house #toh hunter #palismen #the bat queen #loz writes a meta

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mxplesyrvp · 2 years

Text

— 5wirl kissing you to shut your trap

pairing : 5wirl (aether, venti, xiao, kazuha and heizou) × gn!reader

genre : hard-core fluff | scenarios

word count : 2.4k (0.4 - 0.8k each)

pov : first person point of view

summary : just 5wirl trying to calm you down or shut you up with a kiss because they cannot think of anything else.

author's note : please do not murder me for ooc heizou. written before character release.

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

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It was wrong to believe that the adepti could endure everything. It was even more wrong to believe that they never bled. I stood beside the conqueror of demons on the Wangshu Inn's balcony, being loath of my inability to admire the landscape it evinced in the darkness.

It was preposterous to be in love with nature when your friend was bleeding beside you. I couldn't help my eyes from darting at the cuts and gashes all over his arms, dripping with shimmering golden liquid— ichor. Adepti weren't more Gods than they were humans but they still possessed the divine blood in their veins. Sometimes, it made me a little jealous of them. Despite being half adeptus, my blood was the generic red of humans.

"Are you sure you don't want me to patch you up?" I asked, for what must be the fiftieth time of the day.

"No," he grunted, "Go away."

"Not happening, " I shook my head. I was used to Xiao and his blunt hurtful remarks to be affected anymore," Not unless you get your wounds taken care of."

"Hmph," I could feel his patience running thin, "Adepti do not have the human tendencies to be taken care of. Nor do they need such assistance. Do not mistake me for a human."

It would be a lie if I said I wasn't expecting this as a response. Xiao was as reserved as an owl and as prideful as a lion. It wasn't an easy task to tear those traits away in an instant. And bleeding wasn't as gothically romantic as writers often describe them to be. I couldn't just give up and let his divine blood go to waste.

"Look here, Xiao," I tried again, "I'm not trying to make you look human even for a second. But you need to understand that the thing you're doing is not right. You might be super strong and super great but that won't matter if you bleed to death. Let me help you, yes?"

He glowered at me, the kind of look that was supposed to incinerate me to leave nothing but ashes. But there I stood, whole and scowling at him as if he was an annoying little kid. He turned away.

"You would be deluded if you think you can't die," I dared to say, "So if you don't want to regret this—"

The rest of my words were drowned in Xiao's mouth. Both his hands snaked around me, pressing me to his chest as if he were trying to mould us both into one being. His lips tasted like the brightest of sunny days dipped in the essence of the darkest of nights, revealing the most vulnerable of nightly secrets. At that moment, I knew I would want for more when this was gone, want for it over and over and over again.

He pulled away from me, our noses only millimetres apart as he stared down into my soul, "Just this once. Do whatsoever you must like."

I must have interpreted his statement wrong since he clapped his hand to my mouth when I tried to close the distance between our lips again.

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" he rasped.

And that was when I realized he was allowing me to tend to his wounds. I could feel a smug smile growing on my face at the thought that I affected him in a similar way he did to me.

"My heart was always yours to begin with."

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The legs of the chair screeched against the cobblestones of the floor as I pulled it toward many of my shelves lined with ancient relics and figurines. I climbed on the wooden seat to dust the artifacts on the very top. At that moment, the bell to the door of my shop jingled, signalling the arrival of an antique-loving customer.

"Welcome, dear customer, what relic must I present to you?" I recited without even looking, the words stitched to my heart.

"The attention of the shop owner, if you please."

It took less than a second for the corners of my lips to tug into a smile. It was an unforgettable voice— softer than the wind tickling your face, smoother than a clear creek washing over the stones.

"It would be my greatest pleasure," I hopped down from the chair, the duster long forgotten on the ground in my longing to embrace the one I loved.

He wrapped his hands around me with the familiar warmth I was so deprived of for so long. "Been long, Kazuha," I sighed aloud.

"I'm aware," he rubbed his hand over my back, " I'm not leaving anymore, now that it's over."

"I hope not," I nuzzled my head on his chest.

He kissed the crown of my head, "I won't, sunshine. Do you need help with cleaning?"

I parted from him and nodded. He leaned against the counter as I went to fetch another duster, watching me. When I returned to hand him one, I saw a faint crease between his eyebrows.

"What's worrying my sunshine?" I posed, worried about him.

"They didn't return your vision yet?" he asked me, climbing on the chair to dust my figurines.

I sucked in a sharp breath through my teeth to stop my frustration from breaking free. The Vision Hunt Decree was over and the Shogun had promised to hand over all the visions she had confiscated. I got mine back as well, just as promised. But getting it back didn't mean it was in the same condition as before.

"You're not answering me?" Kazuha's voice was gentle.

"They broke it," I said flatly, trying to keep the anger away from my voice,"They returned it to me with an unfeeling apology. It was in shambles."

I pulled out a wooden vase to wipe it clean. Kazuha paused, unable to collect the words that would make me feel better.

"Sunshine, I'm sorry—"

"It's alright," I looked at him," It's not your fault. Sometimes, I wish I had run away with you. Staying back was the worst decision I've ever taken. Now, look where it's gotten me to."

Guilt rose in my throat. I didn't want to lose my cool and make him feel bad just after his return. But here I was, letting everything out that I had been so meticulous in bottling up.

"They pinched a hole in my hopes and dreams and stole half my heart with that broken vision," I complained, "They just don't care—"

Kazuha yanked me to him, covering my mouth with his. His hands rested on my jaw as if he were afraid I would disappear. My heart was a flower, dripping with the sweetest nectar in this world as it rolled down to my stomach, satiating the butterflies dancing within.

He pulled away, just to brush his lips on the space between my eyebrows, both my eyelids and the tip of my nose. I could feel the heat dominating my skin, licking at my throat and ears.

He smiled, seating me on the chair while his hands rested on my shoulders.

"Don't you worry about them stealing half your heart," he said, with all the gentleness in this world," You can have mine. My heart was always yours to begin with. As long as you have me, I'll sew your hopes and dreams together. "

That was the problem with Kazuha. His eloquence was evil dipped in innocence which always made me want to cry. His words had the tenacity to shred me into pieces only to sew me back together in a way that made me see him a little differently everytime.

His words were nothing if not curses which made me fall deeper into the chasm of his love, something I was sure I would never escape.

"That ought to do the trick, don't you think?"

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It was a glorious day under the huge tree in Windrise. The breeze was sweet, carrying soft seeds of dandelions and the dignified strum of a lyre. But it did nothing to make my heart dance to the joyous nature.

"C'mon, Y/N!" Venti called from a branch on the tree, his fingers sliding over the strings of the lyre,"It's okay to lose a book. Lisa won't have your head!"

I let out an exasperated sigh,"That is not what worries me. I am flabbergasted at my own irresponsibility. I can't even take care of a book."

Lisa loved her books. She trusted me enough to let me borrow one and I ended up disappointing her hopes of taking good care of it. Indeed, Lisa was scary when she came to collect overdue books, but that wasn't an excuse to hide my mistake.

"What do I even say to her?" I continued, pressing my hands to my head,"She'll be so upset."

"Y/N, listen to me, it's—"

"I should probably buy a new one to replace it," I decided,"That should do it or maybe—"

"Y/N—"

"— I must look for it more. She obviously holds her copies very dear—"

I heard a soft thud on the ground beside me and then I was rendered speechless. Venti pressed his mouth to mine and all my words died in my throat. His hand slid behind my waist to pull me closer. As if my hands had minds of their own, they cupped his soft cheeks on instinct.

My heart was a tangle of strings on which he played a merry tune with that kiss. With each strum of my heartstrings, he seemed to suck all my worries away.

He pulled away and rested his head on mine, smiling, "That ought to do the trick, don't you think?"

"I'll do much, much worse than just kiss you!"

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I had been sitting atop the outstretched palms of the Anemo Archon's huge statue, lost in the world of the book I was reading. I had not realized that I was staring straight ahead of me until Aether took it upon himself to snap me out of my reverie.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me, voice dripping with innocence.

I, on the other hand, felt annoyed at being called back from my own world. So I decided to test his patience.

"What else?" I said, as if it were very obvious, " I was thinking about Captain Kaeya."

"And what about him?" I could practically hear him frown.

"What ain't there to think about him?" I pretended to be surprised, " He's the knight in shining armour everyone dreams about. He's tall, beautiful and everything out of a fairytale book."

I gave Aether a sideways glance. He was playing with the fabric of his gloves, utterly downcast. I felt guilty for my relishing this torturous experience I was putting him through. I couldn't help but snicker a little.

"Oh, just imagine him smiling at you," I spoke in my dreamy voice, trying to impersonate Donna, " Or the cruve of his lips on—"

Aether didn't let me finish my sentence. He put his lips on mine, washing away all my words with the sunshine within him. And I hadn't realized how much I would want this. He was oxygen I was dying to breathe. He was the sweet I was dying to taste. It was an eternity so short-lived, giving me nothing at all but everything all the same.

"Don't you think about Kaeya ever again," he growled at me with his cute voice.

"And what if I do?" I teased him.

He gave me the you-are-insufferable look and balled his fists together, saying, "I'll do much, much worse than just kiss you!"

At that, I was sure I wouldn't have any more witty rejoinders anymore. He was so adorable and I was dying because of it.

"You don't have to be perfect all the time, babe."

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Heizou lounged on a straight-backed wooden chair, his feet propped up on the table and crossed at the ankles while his hands cushioned his head, serving as a makeshift pillow. A pair of moths fluttered around the single yellow lantern dangling down the ceiling as he sat watching me.

I was sitting with my back to his bookshelf, troubled at my recent failure with a case. It had been quite simple if I'd thought about it harder, then, I wouldn't have embarrassed myself like that in front of everybody else who expected so much from me.

"Y/N," he spoke softly, "It's alright. Even the best of us need help sometimes."

"Not with a petty theft case," I shook my head with belligerence, " Especially not when the thief is right in the line of sight, doing a good job to blend in with the crowd."

I heard him sigh aloud. I knew I was annoying him quite a lot. But I still couldn't fathom the stupidity that brought him down along with me. What worried me was that he considered it to be next to nothing. But for me, who called myself a detective with a keen eye, it was a big deal.

"Y/N, chill out," he drawled. It was a miracle that he hadn't given up on cheering me up yet.

"You don't understand," I whined, raking a hand through my hair," If I were worried about my dignity, I would've locked myself in a room and isolated myself. But I'm not. I just managed to bring your reputation down in an instant and I can't believe you're so cool about it."

"We caught the thief," he tried to reason with me," We're good."

"But still." I shrugged, "It's always going to be there in the back of my mind, poking me like a needle all the time."

The chair scratched. Heizou pushed himself out of the sitting position only to come and crouch down in front of me. He tucked a single strand of hair behind the shell of my ear," It's alright. All is well that ends well, yes? According to that logic, we're grand."

I parted my lips to object but found myself obstructed by the force of his mouth on mine. The way he was kissing me, it was as if I owed him complete access to my mouth, whensoever he must want. If I could bottle up that feeling of his lips on mine and get drunk on it every night, I would do it all the time. Oh, wouldn't anybody?

A smirk stretched on his lips at the sight of my face which I suspected was a gradient of red.

"You don't have to be perfect all the time, babe."

Never had I realized that his words could ever make my heart stutter that way.

Picture credits to the rightful owners.

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