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#beating up sharks is fucking awesome
zharizard666 · 4 months
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I decided to restart my Earthbound save file and do an ultra violence route.
Beating up everything is really cathartic.
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OOZEPUNK
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WHAT IS OOZEPUNK?
Oozepunk is the term I'm coining for the microgenre of urban heroic sci-fi horror-fantasy that first exploded in the mid-80s with movies, shows, and comics like Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Toxic Avenger, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hellboy, Street Sharks, and others. Lots of natural crossover with Biopunk and Cyberpunk, aesthetically and philosophically.
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Your childhood trauma didn't let you forget Roger Rabbit heavily featured colorful nightmare slime, did it?
A ragtag gang of weirdos (often horribly mutated--more on that soon) band together to save a city that doesn't understand them. Grimy sewers, abandoned buildings and graffiti'd brick walls are lit up by neon lights, streams of mysterious, glowing goo and/or the unearthly lights of futuristic particle weapons--ideally all of the above!
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Beyond the "cracked concrete and gutters full of liquid plutonium" aesthetic, Oozepunk prankishly asks "What if catastrophic aberrations of science, particularly DUMPING TOXIC FUCKING WASTE STRAIGHT INTO THE ENVIRONMENT created fucked-up monsters... but they're HEROIC fucked-up monsters!" These catastrophic aberrations of science grant the heroes incredible powers, but COST them their place in human society. (Ghostbusters and Roger Rabbit eschew character mutation in favor of discovering that the undead and olde tymey cartoons are real [and exploitable!], respectively. 'Busters and 'Toon sympathizers alike are treated like insane idiots and/or frauds in their respective universes.)
Oozepunk heroes are challenged not only by strange supernatural beings, but by human society itself. The Ghostbusters battle with local politicians as much as they do the undead. In the recent (and delightful) TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, Splinter warns the Turtles of humans and their obsession with "milking" mutants for their blood--on top of the villainous mutants they're trying to thwart!
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Crank up the creep factor in Oozepunk and you get awesome anti-establishment goo-horror like 1988's The Blob, The Stuff, Street Trash, and probably a bunch more. Toxic Avenger is a batshit crazy splatter-comedy (i.e. classic Troma)... and still garnered sequels, a kid's cartoon and toyline!
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And there's a Shredder's Revenge-style Crusaders beat-em-up coming out next year??
youtube
This looks dope as shit
Ghostbusters and TMNT are the only current, "evergreen" (or radioactive green!) Oozepunk franchises I can think of off the top of my head, but Oozepunk elements are buried in almost all of the stories and settings I love the most. Heroic kaiju like King Kong, Godzilla and Gamera paved the way for our freaky friends, but so did comics characters like Fantastic Four's Ben "The Thing" Grimm, The Hulk and Swamp Thing. Hell, I think I blame SESAME STREET of all things for starting me down the Oozepunk path.
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Surprise! I've loved screaming trash monsters with secret hearts of gold since I was a fucking baby, and they've ALWAYS been there for me!
But it's not just Oscar, Sesame Street as a whole is a proto-Oozepunk utopia, years before the big Ooze-splosion of the 80s. Muppets, monsters, talking animals and chill humans all live and work together to scrape by with a little dignity in a gritty-but-wholesome urban world!
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Sesame Street, a decades-long reminder that educational childrens' programming can and SHOULD be cool as hell looking and loaded with all kinds of friendly mutant freakuloids.
OOZEPUNK! Whaddya think?
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dairy-farmer · 1 month
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Okay but CONSIDER~☆ Petty, territorial, exhibitionist Kon!
(Also he has Strong Opinions and I tried to keep things In Character since I am working that. He's against feminizing Tim because he doesnt want to make his boyfriend disphoric. Slight realism to the porn? Attempted!)
Him and Tim? Dating. His memory? Flawless. He remembers EXACTLY all the emotionally scarring bullshit they put his boyfriend through. Tim may forgive, but HE doesn't. Fuck those guys.
What's WORSE? He can hear EVERYTHING. Your expressionless mask doesn't mean SHIT when he can hear your heart rate pick up. SEE your eyes dilate. When walls don't do SHIT to stop him hearing you beating your meat franticly, after excusing yourself to "make a call".
But Tim's HIS. Not theirs.
They break his heart and make him feel not good enough. KON makes him feel loved and powerful and happy. KON spent his whole life, fighting to have things that were JUST for him. His, not superman, not anyone else's. His. And Tim? Is HIS boyfriend. Is amazing.
And Kon LOVES making him feel good.
Really taking his time. Using his TTK to tease and pinch, stroke and hold, keeping Tim JUST where he needs him. Taking care of his needs in the ways Tim never seems too. Over and over, til he's all soft and boneless. Twitching. Gushing all the pleasure Kon pumped into him. Head finally quiet.
It's amazing.
So maybe that's why he doesn't stop. Even though he hears the arrogant stomping of Jon's bratty friend. Jon cleared out to the barn and some loud music over an hour ago. When he caught the LOOK Kon was giving Tim. Smart kid. But apparently not smart enough to drag his buddy along. Because now the little shit is looking for him.
Kon doesn't care.
He is face first between to long, powerful, legs and trying to make Tim's brain melt with his tounge alone. From the grip on his hair? Decent progress, so far. He adds fingers, making Tim's back bow. Earning those awesome little sounds.
The foot steps faltered then froze, outside his door. The brats heart rate has sky rocketed. Turned on by listening to Tim getting finger fucked. What a little perv.
But? Kon's discovered? He's kinda... in to it.
Showing them what they'll NEVER get to have. Showing them how it's DONE. That's right, little perv, listen to how GOOD I make him feel. You could never. This is what he, the REAL Robin, deserves.
Fucking Tim? While Damian stands frozen just outside his bedroom door? Is one of the best times they've had together. Kon nearly breaks his bed. Leaves Tim hoarse but glowing the next day. Granted, with a noticeable limp and unable to sit down, but Tim is hardly complaining.
Kon just grins, like a shark, every time Damian looks at him.
And of course, Kon has to do it again. It was AMAZING. Invite him oooover, babe. He miiiiisses yoooou. Sad face.
Tim laughes but does. Gotham is stressful after all. Even if, for some reason, the gremlin has been avoiding him. Weird, chirps Kon, who knows EXACTLY why. Wonder why that could be?
Arrives to find Dickhea- sorry, Tim's BELOVED brother DICK, who definitely didn't betray him, and TOTALLY didn't try to Put Him In ARKHAM, THAT Dick... hanging around. Trying to "make amends". (Kon's ass he is.) And doing team ups. Hanging like a leech all over KON'S boyfriend. Eating all of the food TIM should be coaxed into eating before there's a chance and lounging around Tim's home like he owns the place!
.....ha ha. Kon's not mad, babe. Promise. He could NEVER be mad at YOU. :) :) :)
(He might murder this clingy bitch, though.)
But, hey! This IS Rob's place. And you know what's Perfectly Reasonable, nay, even NATURAL, to do in one's own place? With their boyfriend? Come here, babe~ My power, clever, gorgeous, sexy, hasn't showered for three days, hot mess~ let's get you cleaned up and in bed.
Oh yeah, your brother will TOTALLY respect Boyfriend's Over time. I texted him for you and everything thing! (Kon didn't and honestly? Dick wouldn't.)
So Kon gets his boyfriend naked. Always a delight. Some sexy groping and forplay in the shower. Wet and sexy fun! A classic. Can Kon hear Dick planning to "head over to Tim's"? Half way across the city? Well maybe certain individuals are about to learn to text first. And that they will NEVER get what they want so bad, no matter how hard they go panting.
Meanwhile? Kon is working Tim up. Hitting all his good spots. Stubble rubbed against the neck, as he kisses his way down. Not too hard, since Kryptonian hair has no give. Just little prickly sparks. Right down to his pecs. Not tits, never tits, or Kon gets kicked out of the bed for WEEKS. Made THAT mistake exactly ONCE.
Manly, manly pecs with the hottest pink little nipples you've ever seen. Likes when Kon uses his TTK for the other one. Focuses on uses his hands to stretch him, tease his fantastic hole and little t-dick clit. Tim totally loses it. Starts trying to RIDE his hand and make him go faster. Always whines and begs when Kon has to hold him still.
Oh look, someone sneaking in the window uninvited. Wonder who that could be? Gee, sure hope he remembered to close that security feed of the bedroom. But, shucks. Technology is just SO confusing! Hope they don't ASSUME Tim is ALWAYS at his desk and go looking there first!
Does Kon sit up and leave Tim's nips to his TTK, just so the cameras can REALLY get a good visual? Of COURSE not. Tim just really, REALLY enjoys the feeling. So he's giving him double the action as he slides home. Even adds his clit to the teasing, just to see that open mouth, gasping for air, feral thrashing look, Tim gets.
Kon hear the searching, meandering footsteps of their intruder, reach Tim's desk and freeze. In that way only a highly trained Bat could. A heart rate spikes and breathe is sucked in sharply. A swallow.
Ah, did Kon for get to turn off the audio? Whoops. Thank goodness it was on low, huh? But I bet that close to the desk, you can hear it. Room's REAL quiet.
Shift of fabric, the camera's audio is turned up.
Perverts, all of um. "Brotherly feelings" his ASS. Kon fucks Tim through his first orgasm, pounding short and rough RIGHT against that spot he likes, just as Tim likes him too. Listens to Tim's perv brother jerk himself desperately. Fantasize about how HE would be SO much nicer and sweeter to Tim's hole. Timmy this and that, like Rob's a little kid.
Like Rob would even be INTO any of that.
Calls Robs pecs TITS. Calls him PRETTY. Has no idea what Tim NEEDS and never did. Can't GIVE IT to Tim like Kon can. Pump into his hole until Tim feels like he's gonna break, then grind nice and deep until he DOES. Tease him for hours when he's all stressed and lost in his head, so he unravels into mush. Lift him up and don't let him down until he's been STUFFED with you. Til his legs are shaking and he can barely see straight. Till all he want is to pass out and cuddle.
Rob needs someone who will lovingly fuck him UNCONSCIOUS and will still be there, holding him, FUCKING HIM, when he wakes up. Needs to be so WANTED it drives someone a little insane. Needs good and pleasure and thoughtless, bone melting bliss. Not babying and tender little nothings.
And frankly? Kon is a petty, mean, Tim-fucker. He's woken up and chosen violence.
Deliberately avoids Tim's g-spot, like that isn't an execution worthy offense. Tell him, babe~ He wants to HEAR. What do want him to do to you? And Tim? Who is being fucking edged and FURIOUS about it? Says BET, opens his mouth, and makes all of Kon's dreams come true.
Holy Shit, Babe~ :D Yes Sir o7
Kon gets to destroy some perv fantasies, hear FANTASTIC Tim dirty talk, AND use TTK to fuck every orifice Tim HAS. It's a fantastic afternoon. He even gets Tim to take a nap instead of going back to work.
And would you look at that~ No clingy leech! You want pizza? Bart recommend this great place. Let's get pizza!
But then Mr. Broody Psychological Trauma is demanding Tim come play hostess to his Gala. Isn't he dating or something? A socialite no less? Make HER do it! But no. Tim has to go entertain old rich bastards and smile.
Fuck it. He's coming too.
Tim just laughs at his blatant gate-crashing plans and hands him an invite. Asks if he wants to go suit shopping. Mmmmmm sexy suit sex. Roleplay options. Yes please. They go shopping. It's awesome.
Less awesome? The party. Very boring in fact. And EVERYBODY wants to fuck his boyfriend. This may be his villian origin story. Also he fuckin KNEW it. "Bruce isn't like that" Kon's ass! He ALSO called that he totally wants to bone Clark. Without his piercings in? And in a suit? Kon looks VERY Clark-ish. Tim's old man keeps checking him out.
Frankly, however, Kon doesnt care.
He's on his last god damned nerve with these "oops! Ha ha, my bad." Handsy mother fuckers, touching his boyfriend. He dives into the crowd. Something, something, he's drunk, Tim. Come get air with me.
Tim knows damn well he can't GET drunk.
So obviously he better go take care of his Poor Drunk Boyfriend (ooooh nooooo).
Tim drags him to some side room the family uses. Before Kon can even get his hands under all those layers, he's sliding to his knees and swallowing Kon to the root. Fuck. It's EXACTLY what Kon needs. Hot and wet, cherishing and so damn eager. Absolutely milking him.
He cups that beautiful head and let's TTK slid down his body. Like hands stroking under clothes. Pinching and massaging his pecs. Rubbing his skin. Teasing his clit. Spreading him open for fingers to stretch and fuck. Kon can just lean back and enjoy the moaning. The eager rocking of Tim's mouth onto his cock.
Especially as the feeling turns from rubbing to fingers fucking into him. From fingers into toys. From toys into cock. Until Kon is spit roasting his Boyfriend all on his own. Making him whimper and twitch as he's rocked between two cocks, just how he likes it. Clinging to Kon and treated like something precious, head utterly empty, nothing but his next orgasm to worry about.
He whines when Kon pulls out of his mouth. But Kon promises he's just switching ends.
The best part? About using TTK during sex? Is they never need sex furniture. Kon can just bend Tim over thin air. Hold him there. So long as SOME part of him is touching Tim. Which, really, is an easy ask. And dragging down the probably ruined suit pants, Kon distantly notes soft steps approaching the door.
He slides home regardless. Grips those amazing hips and starts to pound. Tim desperately teasing his chest. Mouth open to be fucked by TTK cock, pouring out moans and fucked out cries. The wet squelch of their bodies meeting.
The footsteps have frozen. A reaction, muted. Almost... trained. Someone used to controlling their body. Oh my, oh my. It's the big perv.
The door's a crack. Not closing it, huh? So who are you staring at, Bat? Tim, your SON, as he gets fucked. Gasping and drooling, moaning for more, harder, deeper. Or Kon? The CLONE of your "best friend", a married man. As he fucks your son. Hips rolling, muscles lit with sweat, groaning in the pleasure takes from the body beneath him.
Which is the one you're getting off too, Batman? Tim? Him? Both of them? That's right, close the door and run. Kon can still hear you jerking it in the family wing.
Maybe Galas ARE fun.
As for Hood? Kon gets confronted. Because Jason can see the pattern developing and is self aware enough to Admit Some Stuff to Himself(tm). He WILL shoot you. And worse, he'll tell Tim. M.A.D. mother fucker.
Well, then. As long as he's aware Kon wants his spine as a mantle decoration. And he never, EVER makes a move on his Boyfriend. Yeah. Kon is willing not to torment him with glorious Tim Sex.
Great. Here's some coupons and gift cards to fancy ass date spots. Leave Jason to suffer his many mistakes in peace. The SECOND you are dead...
Ha! Tim will clone me. But THIS time, with my permission and adding his DNA so we have a Clone-Baby. Bart is husband number 2. None of you fuckers have a chance.
Suffer.
Like Kon said, he is a petty, Tim-loving, exhibitionist, bastard. He also now has date night plans! Sweet. Oooh. Fancy! This one's that new place with the waiting list. Nice.
-🐼🐼🐼
kon being a borderline exhibitionist and making sure to fuck tim in front of his family so they know exactly who he belongs to- and then them having planned out that if he dies bart will be tim's second husband so no one in his family can have him 😭😭😭
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creepsopasta · 1 year
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playing games with some pastas
includes; eyeless jack, jeff the killer, hoodie, masky, ticci toby, homicidal liu, kagekao
eyeless jack:
- bit of a sore loser. not good with games that make him rage or online games
- voice chat with him is crazy!! he is literally foaming at the mouth yelling and cursing he is so bad at games :(
- “jack it’s gonna be okay” “FUCK you”
- he is not very kind about his losses
- most likely ends up throwing the control at the tv and breaking it (bad ending)
- whenever he ends up winning he’s ecstatic he does not stop talking about it and will brag about it to you exclusively. just go with it okay he needs it for his already shattered ego
- 0/10 experience would not do again.. okay maybe he would if you talked him into it and told him how much of a great player he is
- “i AM awesome aren’t i???” “yes you are <3”
- the more you play together the more he’ll learn to calm the fuck down and just enjoy himself
- still rages a lot tho
jeff the killer:
- plays board games like candyland and twister
- he’s a fucking shark he’s got all this shit down he knows how to win
- anyone who gets paired up with him for game night is 85% guaranteed to win (unfortunately there is someone out there who’s better than him)
- gets PISSED over not winning twister fucking furious he is literally the most flexible guy in this house he can do so much with his body
- monopoly is his favorite game. he esp loves to play with the younger pastas bc they believe anything he says and he thinks it’s hilarious
- “NOOOO PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY HOUSE” “your rent is $500,000, sally… it’s my house now”
- not a very avid video game player. he never really played a lot tbh
- good at everything EXCEPT connect four. do not make him play connect four he hates it he has terrible memories of it
- mastermind strategy planner. it’s a shame he doesn’t think this much at any other time
- boasts about it big time if you lose (you will probably lose) but might even try to let you win on purpose if he feels bad or sees you’re upset
hoodie:
- more of an arcade game guy. if you’re looking for like pinball games or pacman or space invaders or maze games or those weird money machines (that he kind of just. steals from) then he’s like great at all of them
- has spent hours honing his skills in his free time so you’ll be grinding for a while if you wanna beat him
- all the highest scores on the arcade machines are his. no one has topped them bc they’re fucking insane
- “wow you really have nothing better to do huh” [takes out gun] “that’s enough out of you jack can’t even fuckin move the joysticks around”
- tries to act like he isn’t competitive about it but he really super is
- thinks it’s just adorable that you think you can defeat him. no he will not be humbled by his lover of all people… that would make him a weak man
- goddamn merciless. no favors for anyone he revels in the rage he causes (see jack for more)
- if you’re a beginner he’ll take it easy on you until you learn the ropes and will offer tips but as time goes on he’s gonna be looking for a fight
- if he’s ever beaten, he will take it in grace and go straight from denial to acceptance
- does not rage that often. just hardcore practices until he’s like fucking unstoppable
masky:
- card player :(
- hates go fish tho he has such bad luck with it and everyone makes fun of him bc it’s like the universe does not want him to win
- good at boring ass stuff like solitaire or blackjack and if you ask him if he can play anything funner he’ll be like “oh so like rummy or spoons :]”
- no masky not like rummy or spoons… like uno or fucking play with some goddamn pokémon cards
- he’s so enthusiastic about it though so cmon just indulge him alright.. he literally has nobody else around him who’s into cards
- “okay so i win” “what… but we just started”
- he plays chess too!!! maybe you’ll find that more interesting?? he’s not very in touch with board games or anything this is the best he’s got
- deadass makes up his own rules if you don’t know anything about the game you’re playing
- “yeah so now you have to eat a rat. sorry babe”
- is never going to make fun of you if you suck at cards it’s not like he can beat jack in video games
ticci toby:
- dnd enjoyer he loves being the dm especially
- he, you, jeff, hoodie, lj, and occasionally masky have game nights and all you guys do is sit around the kitchen table trying not to curse each other out for doing stupid shit
- “c’mon guys this is supposed to be fun :(”
- doesn’t know that most of you have no idea how to play so he makes it super difficult
- has had to REPEATEDLY glue the die back together because jeff cannot stop snapping it in half
- “why does your dumbass partner always win this is fucking favoritism” “and then jeffery fell off a building and into the ocean 🥰”
- teaches you all you need to know about the game he will sit there for hours if he needs to just talking about the complexity of the rules
- he seems to have a lot of fun with it so everyone tries their best to not break the pieces or punch masky or yell at each other or punch masky
- better with snacks and drinks and lots of breaks so everyone can calm down and at least try to find some joy in the game
- 6/10 experience. would only try again without jeff at the table
homicidal liu:
- among us player… pisses everybody off bc he’s unfortunately very good at it and always imposter
- absolutely kills it (pun intended)
- no mercy he kills everyone including his loved ones this is a battle to the death and he is going to win goddamnit
- being imposter with him is some of the easiest shit bc he will carry the team entirely
- nothing to brag about tho since it’s a little space game and it’s really easy
- always knows who the imposter is if it’s not him he’s got some kind of foresight he will go out of his way to sabotage their chances at winning
- “would you love me more… if i killed someone for you 😇😇” “but you killed ME liu” “whoops”
- will stay with you for most of the game so he has an excuse for being innocent. once you are of no use to him he will stab you in the back
- relatively tame over voice chat. unless his brother happens to be there then it’s just jeff getting pissed off bc he can’t activate the reactor
- wakes you up at 2 am, phone in hand, smile on his face, asking “do you wanna play among us?”
- “liu, shut the fuck up and go back to sleep.” “ok.. :((”
kagekao:
- great at those games you play in your yard like frisbee or tag or hide n seek or maybe darts
- since the bitch can fly and run really fast it’s very unfair he pretty much cheats at everything and he thinks it’s funny
- frisbee with him is a literal field day. throws it so far you can’t find it ever again you’ll just have to buy a whole ass new one
- “what the FUCK kagekao” “🤷”
- laughs and makes fun of you for just not being as skilled as him maybe if you could fly you could beat him just get off the ground dumbass
- also likes to race but we all know how that’s gonna go (hint: he wins)
- unless he’s up against candy pop or something no one else really has a chance at beating him
- might help you a little bit if you’re struggling. like that one time he carried you up into the air and then dropped you because he thought it would be funny but then he couldn’t catch you in time so you ended up falling on lj and breaking one of your arms
- wrote you a little heartfelt letter about it later with a very fancy “sorry ❤️” in calligraphy and a few drawings of flowers (it did not help. your arm was still broken)
- really bad sport does NOT like to lose he will completely shut down
- little fuckin bastard
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katberk · 2 years
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With a reader who’s a siren
Poly Lost Boys x Siren reader
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🌙 It’ll all start when Paul catches a scent of blood in the air. He gets the most distracted out of the group causing him to start bouncing and being annoying until David gives in and investigates
🌙 The smell leads the boys to the beach where they witness a surf-nazi getting pulled under and not come back up. The scent was from some blood leaking into the sand and clumping up, they assumed from cuts or scratches and then a pool of red coloring the water
🌙 When you surface from the water and pull the body towards your chest the boys just freeze and watch you devour the body whole. David would just hear Paul say “That’s fucking hot” under his breath
🌙 Marko would be the first to speak up and run over to you. “Hey! That was awesome!” He would praise you and ask so many questions until Dwayne pulls him back and gives you a smile “Marko, quite down, let’s not startle them away.”
🌙 You would introduce yourself knowing that they’re creatures of the night. They seemed friendly and Paul wouldn’t stop playing with your wet hair while you talk to David. He likes running his fingers through your hair and getting all the tangles out
🌙 All five of you would go hunting together at first. You would wait for them to kill their targets and then throw one of them in the water to you. The excitement and happy faces make them swoon (they wouldn’t tell you that though)
🌙 When you get more comfortable/gain feelings and vice versa they would ask if you’d like to live with them. They would set up a cute little spot near the water for you and to make sure you have enough space. You told them that you prefer being in the water then on land but join them in the cave sometimes
🌙 Once you get settled in and start a relationship with the four you should get ready for the cute and fluff rotting shit that they do with you
🌙 David would get you gifts from the boardwalk and meet you at the beach to gift them. He would like to just sit with you on the rocks while he strokes your tail and tells stories of his past, just a nice relaxing night for him
🌙 Dwayne would sit next to you on the rocks and read books while he let’s you lay your head on his shoulder. Sometimes he even lets you braid his hair and put shells and beads in it, he always complements your ability of style
🌙 Paul’s the one who would give you piggyback rides and carry you bridal style. He would bring you different candies and foods to try out and laugh at the faces you make when the flavors didn’t match. He would give you a lemon and tell you have everyone loves them
🌙 Marko would make you bracelets and find cool fabrics and patches to make a jacket for you. He’d put all the patches on the sleeves to match his craziness and decorate your tail. He would just put shells and different things on your tail to see how well they balance.
🌙 Sometimes when you’re around them they forget that you’re a literal sea monster that can fit a whole dead body into your mouth. Like long ass claws and blood lust in the eyes
🌙 Going back into things. You’ve seen Marko’s pigeon! That pigeon is your goddam best friend and you let them plop on your head and sleep there. I can say with a 100% guarantee that the four cruel monsters of the night that can kill you in seconds are jealous of a street bird
🌙 A lot of times the boys would come back to find different animals and sea creatures around you while you sing your little heart out. You got different fish, sharks, raccoons, possums, mice, birds, etc. Predator and prey goes out the window when the animals just want to hear your voice
🌙 One on one dates happen often with each boy visiting you while the others either hunt or find things to bring back for you. While you have your singular dates nothing can beat walking around the boardwalk/beach and just relaxing and hanging out with the loves of your life. It got lonely being in the ocean by yourself, having not one but four kind and attractive men be your company really brightened your mood
🌙 At the end of the day you always cuddle with the boys before bed happy that you met the four night crawlers and they definitely won’t forget the day they met the beautiful siren of the sea
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blood-mocha-latte · 3 months
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Fandom positivity ask! 1, 3, 12, and 28!
linh truly you are. the number one. forever and always and also for all time <3
~ hbowar positivity asks ~
1 - what is your fav part about being in the fandom?
people are NICE and people are TALENTED. holy shit. it's like being friends with someone that has the skills of picasso and the kindness of our lord and savior jesus christ. which is blasphemous but TRUE
3 - what are some fics that you go back and read again and again?
oh man i am a rereading BITCH i could be here all day. but for top three i would have to gooo
Knit Us Together by @almost-a-class-act - truly the mvp boss of luztoye fics. Thee Perfect Fic it's truly art simple as that. i licherally reread it like. yesterday and am now making my wife read it. sam watch out for that because she's handwriting all her thoughts for me to show you because. oh my GOD everyone go read it
The Last Voyage by @ep6bastogne - VASTLY underrated baberoe fic. the perfect blend of human sunshine babe and tired but Good gene. sad and funny and good and i will admit that i cried. @mutantmanifesto made some GORGEOUS art for this very fic on this very day, because it's That Good
Before the Fall of Rome by @educationalporpoises - quite literally could NOT have asked for a better fucking secret santa. zee slayed. zee knocked it so out of the park that no one is yet to find the ball. it's luztoye and ancient history and reunions and truly what else do you need? 10/10
12 - songs that you associate with certain mutuals?
ohoho, this is where it gets LONG. sorry about that friends. under the cut because i have a lot to say and the time to say it, which is a bad combination
@lamialamia - linh my beloved. my darling. don't kill me but you are never gonna give you up by rick astling. not only are you catchy wonderful and always brightening up my notes, but i both never want to give you up nor let you down
@almost-a-class-act - guiding light by mumford and sons because truly what would the luztoye people do without you. die i think. you are the guiding light. the OG. thee #1
@dcyllom - dance the night by dua lipa because MOLLY whatever can i say other than you are the number one cheerleader of the modern webgott divorced two times au. you light up this world truly. this song fills me with joy and so do you
@whollyjoly - read my mind by the killers. because em you. you read my Mind on many occasion it must be said. same brain at times. how's mash going
@ewipandora - cheap thrills by sia because everytime you reblog literally anything i quite literally go ooOOOOH. you have an awesome beat good words Fascinating person. ewi i am holding your hand
@educationalporpoises - the baby shark song. zee i just see your pfp and i just immediately think of this song. i've never even heard it in it's entirety the lovely lyrics just run through my head whenever i'm lucky enough to see you on the dash <3
i have so many more mutuals that i love and adore but i do not have a mind for songs!! hugs and kisses to all
28 - what's something that lives in your brain rent free and you want everyone to know about the show/the fandom/your works?
portuguese luz. portuguese luz. do i have to say anything else. that is what everyone should know. that is number one. some good fucking food <3
13 notes · View notes
jurkin-off2ur-mom · 24 days
Text
Kipo: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.
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Jamack: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.
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Yumyan: If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You'll still probably die but the shark will be like "lol what"
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Dave: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.
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Kipo: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.
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Leo: I don’t even use tubberware anymore. 
Song: What are you saying? Say it again. 
Leo: Tubberware. 
Song: Say it again. Slow. 
Leo: Tubberware. 
Song: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable. 
Leo: Tub. 
Song: Wrong. 
Leo: What do you mean, wrong? 
Song: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P. 
Leo: What are you talking about? 
Song: Tupperware. Tupper. 
Leo: It’s tupper! 
Song: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be. 
Leo: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.
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Leo: honk. 
Song: WHAT. 
Leo: HONK. 
Song: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????
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Song: I'm like Heinz Doofenshmirtz because I, too, like being petty, signing off-key, and over-sharing my deepest traumas for no discernible reason. 
Leo: Not to mention that you think of yourself as eveil but are, at best, a minor inconvenience.
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Dave, seeing a bee on Benson’s arm: Uh oh... 
Dave, rolling up a newspaper: Benson, stay still... 
Dave, Using the newspaper as a megaphone: THERES A FUCKING BEE ON YOU
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Dave: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? 
Kipo: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! 
Dave: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! 
Kipo: You take that back!!! 
Dave: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.
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Scarlemagne: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me. 
Leo: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!
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Kipo: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you. 
Kipo: Ask me to kill for you. *turns mega*
Scarlemagne: ...First of all, calm down-
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Scarlemagne: Don't go to the kitchen. 
Leo: Why? 
Scarlemagne: I saw a spider. 
Leo: Well, did you kill it? 
Scarlemagne: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...
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Dave: Help! I’m drowning! 
Benson: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! 
Dave: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!
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Scarlemagne: Looked up my symptoms on WebMD and it turns out I have an ancient ancestral curse that has been passed down my bloodline for generations. 
Kipo: ...? 
Scarlemagne: Okay, fine. It was a hereditary mental illness. I just wanted to sound cool so I made something up. Are you mad at me?
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Kipo: I am going to need you to swear- 
wolf: Fuck. 
Kipo: 
kipo: ...swear as in promise.
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Scarlemagne: Am I going to far? 
Leo: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.
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Wolf: Tony Hawks moving castle. 
Wolf: I can't remember the name of it, fuck. 
Kipo: Howl? 
Wolf: aaaauuuuuuuooooo??? 
Kipo: ...
Wolf: Oh.
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Kipo: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? 
Wolf: What did you just say- 
Kipo: Foetons! *Laughs* 
Wolf: Wh-what?
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Benson: What are y’all’s favorite things to wake up to?
Kipo: Breakfast in bed!
Dave: Emails from AO3!
Wolf: My favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all.
Wolf: The screams of my enemies are a close second though.
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call-sign-shark · 9 months
Note
Hi, Shark! I paused for a while my chaotic morning. I didn't stopped since 7am (it's 2pm here now) and my back said, bitch, calm down 😂. So, I listened to my body, I'm in bed now, and I decided to send you something I thought yesterday:
Would Heaven fall in love with the other Arthur (Rat's Arthur)? And vice versa, what about Rat and canon! Arthur?
I know they're the same character, but still there are differences between both of them.
🤔
Hey baby Flor, thank you so much for your awesome question because this is so clever and got me thinking a lot. But before answering, I hope you are feeling better and that your back doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m sending you a wild Alfie to massage your sore back! 😌
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Regarding Modern!Arthur, even if I try to keep him as canon as possible, the modern context in which he evolves ultimately changes a lot of things in his character. For example, even with anger management issues he cannot just go in a boxing ring and kill a boy with his bare fists without the slightest consequences. Same goes for slashing someone’s face out of jealousy. Regarding his mental illnesses, they also have to be kept under a minimum of control to fit our modern society. While we still need to make progress in treatments of mental illnesses, the access to therapy is easier nowadays than it was in the 1920’s. Which explains why he has some kind of self-control, and is less prone to emotional outbursts than his Peaky Blinders Self. Taking this into account, we can conclude that they are different. Now we can answer the question properly.
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Heaven and Modern!Arthur: In a modern setting, they would still fall for each others. I like to think them as soul mates who find each other in every life. Moreover she has this supernatural ability to calm down wild spirits, which is something Arthur needs even in a modern setting. They would meet right after his divorce with Linda, and would have helped him overcome his drug addictions — contrary to the canon!version in which he kinda cheats on Linda with her but is also already clean. Besides, she is also quick witted and bratty, which are traits he appreciates a lot. I guess she’s just more subtle than Rat, who goes full berserk 🤣
Also, what kind of job Modern!Heaven would have? War doctor, forensic doc, nurse, something else?
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Rat and canon!Arthur: Here comes the trouble. Arthur and Rat would not fall in love with each other. At least not in a conventional way. Rat is too brutal and unpredictable, while Arthur lacks of control and is mentally unstable, so they would end up fighting with fists for real. Also, Rat would not be able to bring the softness and care Arthur needs. I don’t think he would be happy with a brutal and straight-forward girlfriend. Imo, Arthur needs a woman with an iron fist in a velvet glove. Someone who’s soft, gentle with him, but who’s still in charge. That’s partly why the first version of Heaven could not work — she was way too similar to Rat.
I can picture them meeting on the boxing gym, beating the shit out of each other regularly (like. Really hard.), and then getting high and drunk together, maybe fucking rough like animals, but they won’t be good for each other. Rat is also a very traumatized character: she would not be able to carry both her past and Arthur’s trauma/problems on her shoulders. Surprisingly, they wouldn’t hate each other. Pretty sure they could even grow close. But ultimately their relationship would be quite destructive and I don’t think their love-story would end well. *coughs* Rat would prolly overdose or get killed during a boxing fight *cough*
Note: Rat is shaking Modern!Arthur like a tree while yelling “eh see? She called you Rat’s Arthur. You’re my property now, dumbass. Go make me mojito.”
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• Heaven is reader in the ongoing Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC séries Heaven in Your Eyes || Latest chapter here
• Rat is reader in the Modern!Arthur Shelby concept Loose Cannon.
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eater-of-g3nders · 2 years
Text
live-blogging my reaction to the bad guys
i love the music and the animation!!! and it’s only been thru the first minute
i love the characters already omg lol
i thought this would b a world full o furries but ok
“go bad or go home” fuck yeah
“best bud” ur gay.
SPOODER she’s so cute
I LOVE THESE GUYS OMG
wolf is incredibly gay for snake i know it when i see it
sick burn lmao
she definitely knows it’s a disguise tho
oh there is no way they’re pulling THIS heist off
it looks like he sucked his dick instead of beating him up hdbsjdkvmxks
WHAT WAS HE THINKINGGGGGG
HAHAAAAAAAAAA PRAISE KINK
OMG THEY DID IT WHAT
haha no they didnt
wolf is so cool
“i wonder who’s butt it is” ur mums
SHARK JUST FUCKING VORED SNAKE i just know there’s r34 of that
LOL WOLF GOT HIT BY A BUS
ok so what’s HER deal? why can she steal?
oh my god THEYRE FUCKING GAYYYYYYYYUH
piranha’s improv <333333
really? 12345
OH MY GOD THE DANCING FUCK YEAH
THIS SONG IS AWESOME
snaaaaaake ur bf is dancing with another person r u upset
shit everything is gonna go WROOOONG
fuckkkkkkk what the shit
“RAAHHHHHNNNNN” lmaooo
MARMALADE WHERED U GO
lmao it was him
“EHS NAWT A BAHTT” fucking brit
i fucking love this movie
“S.U.C.M.”? more like S.U.C.M.Y DICK
wolf describing his praise kink is gonna trigger a panic attack
THEYRE BREAKING UP NOOOO GAWD DAMNIT
oh hi diane nice to see you in prison
HOLY SHIT SHE HAS A COOL ROBBER NAME FUCK YEAH
they’re done they’re over they’re never getting back together 😭😭😭 (not exclusively about wolf n snake)
SNAKE NOOOOOOOOOOOO
wolf plz become the next carmen sandiego
wlw and mlm solidarity it’s canon i’m diane’s wife
snake go get back with ur boyfriend
SNAKE YOU DUMBASS
SNAKE YOU ASSHOLE
lmao they’re so fucking gay-snake is taunting his ex by showing off his new bf
at least they reunited
THE LITTLE KITTY N THE SUNGLASSES AWWWWWWWW
diane marry me please
OH MY GOSH DIANE AND WEBS <3333333
ranh stfu
“mostly Youtube 🫤” LMAO
give them a moment diane, they’ll return it
“SNAAAAAAKE!!!” GAYER THAN ME AND IM REALLY GAY
“i love you too, buddy.” LOVE STORY OF THE CENTURY
SNAKE U GENUIS
SNAKE I LOVE YOUUUUUU
also wolf x snake 4evs
“SHEES THA PAUHHHH :[!!!”
HAAAA WOLF SET SNAKE UP LMAO
awkwafina is soooo gr8
LILY SINGH WAS IN THIS MOVIE??????
dianeeee let’s gooooooo
KITYYYYYYYY
HIT THAT PLAY BUTTON WEBZ!!!!!
anywho i’m done i loved it
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ultrastellara · 4 years
Note
hi i saw that you were taking requests if you aren’t anymore feel free to ignore this!! if you are then can i get a kirishima x bakugou’s sister how would bakugou react thanks and i hope you have a great day!! :)
sorry for my lateness but pls dont worry, i love getting requests! and enjoy the scenario that you wanted , lovely!
DATING KIRISHIMA AS BAKUGOU'S SISTER
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kirishima x bakugou's sister reader
fluff , cuteness, & friends to lovers <3
the beginning
i think being bakugou's sister isnt that easy
bakugou wouldnt be the type of sibling to hand you the toy that you desperately wanted
he also seems the type to also make you jealous because of his grades or brag about how his quirk is way more awesome than yours
mistuki and masaru were grateful that they were able to have a daughter, so you were mostly the spoiled child out of the family
you werent snotty or arrogant because bakugou took over that job for you
between you and bakugou, you shared a two year difference
you were the kinder sibling, the one who would give the toy to bakugou
you were also the one who would give your money to bakugou if he forgot his lunch money
now when it he attended UA, you were attending middle school still
you acknowledged that bakugou was childhood friends with midoriya
you remembered all the play dates they had and the moments they shared over all might
you would always try to come into their conversations, trying to make friends with midoriya
midoriya wouldnt talk back much but when he tried to, bakugou would tell you to go away
bakugou really hated the fact that you would tried to be his friend
so he would purposely give excuses or things for you to do or go with
you didnt know he hated the idea with you hanging out with his own best friend
but he simply hated it, because he found you " annoying "
as bakugou attended UA, he would always or sometimes bring home his best friend kirishima
now let me tell you that, kirishima wasnt exactly like midoriya
kirishima would cut bakugou off if he tried telling you to go back to your room
but you just wanted to make friends that's all
kirishima wasnt the type to ignore what you wanted to say
he would actually listen to you and chat with you
" so are you also a fan of all might, kirishima ?" you asked
" hmm not really but crimson riot is my favorite hero!" he said cheerfully
bakugou would always leave the room whenever you two talked
the only time where you didnt talk to kirishima was when bakugou and him would have study sessions in his room
you would stop by once in a while to give them food or drinks
sometimes you'll chat with kirishima but very minimal
you respected him and he respected you too
on days where him and bakugou arent studying they're probably playing games
now during those times you would always stay in bakugou's room just to talk to kirishima about the things you learned in school that day
did bakugou get irritated? yeah
but he wouldnt bother you and kirishima, since he felt okay with you hanging out with his best friend
during their game sessions , you would always be next to kirishima watching him as he played the game
your eyes would be focused on the screen, however once in a while you would look at kirishima and admire his face
you thought no one in the room would notice this small habit
until you caught bakugou giving you a disgusted look
the look of ' stop looking at him you're being so fucking weird '
you would always give him back a happy smile to just piss bakugou off but you didnt stop this habit after that encounter
ever since that encounter of just looking at kirishima, you slowly started to want to see him everyday
it didnt scare or catch bakugou off guard because he only viewed you and kirishima as friends too
kirishima never saw you annoying or stupid like how bakugou did
" hey katsuki, is kirishima coming today?" you ask as you're standing near his doorway
" yeah, what about it dumbie?" he would annoyingly reply
" oh nothing just asking that's all " you would run off to your room and waited for kirishima
the middle
bakugou would be hella honest to kirishima about how you are as his sister
honestly kirishima did see you like the way bakugou did
annoying, clingy, and stupid
until the first day he was able to meet you and get to know you as bakugou's sister
boy was bakugou wrong about you
you werent all the things bakugou had told him, he found you fun and kind
you were fun to talk to about heroes you both admired
your kindness when you would always bring him and bakugou their snack and drinks
those traits of you really did catch him off guard
as he got to learn more about you, he found more things he slowly wished he could spend more time with
your beauty was one of them, you had a bright smile whenever you said hello to him
that cheerful laugh and your adorable blush whenever kirishima would compliment about the outfit you had that day
slowly as time passed, he was finding you more as a person than just the title ' bakugou's sister '
as it hit his third year at being UA, you started to attend UA like your brother
he would usually see you hanging out with your friends in the hallways
it was your first year at UA, you werent like the girl that kirishima knew years ago
you still had that smile and laugh but your personality had expanded beautifully
you would hang out with the bakusquad sometimes
you still had cling onto kirishima talking to him like you usually would
you and kirishima have grown closer and could be best friends too
bakugou didnt really care for you hanging out with kirishima since he realized that no matter what he could do you would always find your ways to the shark boy
your friends at UA were suspicious when you told them that you were friends with kirishima
countless times you would always drag your friend over to you while you would follow around your brother and kirishima
they would hear and see the conversations and many interactions that you and kirishima had
they did think that your bond with him was adorable since he was your upperclassman until later on in the year
they wanted to tell you what they had thought of you and him because let's be real, they were sorta tired of this obliviousness between you and kirishima
" you know y/n, you and kirishima seem pretty close to be best friends" your friend said
" yeah i mean i known him since i was in middle school" you stated
your friend gave you a curious look with a head tilt
" what i meant was that im started to think you might have feelings for him. i know you both dont flirt openly but just the way that he looks at you, it seems like hes giving you the look of ' hey youre cute and maybe you and i could be closer than before "they stated
now that changed your view of kirishima
let's just say your friend mightve been right about you and kirishima
the next following week, whenever you had seen him in the hallways or even just think of kirishima
your heart would always beat rapidly
your cheeks were usually flushed with pink and bits of red
you were always all over the place with the conversations you had with him
things were slowly changing of how you looked at him
you never thought of liking him because you didnt see him as a person for you to end up with
you had an ideal type but
i think your ideal type was the definition of kirishima written all over it
kirishima noticed your small changes in how you talked to him but he didn't think of your blushing too much
he understood that you were going through puberty so maybe it was just a normal thing for girls to do with guys
it wasnt until he heard your friend talking to you about kirishima
" im not sure, i feel like me liking or possibly liking kirishima... i think maybe it wont work out.." your voice was spoken softly
" maybe but you never know until you try. i get that he is a upperclassman and that many girls could be after him but he is your brother's best friend and your best friend too. if you really like him, i think you should go for it. unless hes taken but seeing the times hes been hanging out with you i doubt he has a partner" he heard them saying.
she likes me ? he thought to himself with red hues coming onto his cheeks
he felt bad for dropping in to hear your conversation about him but he couldnt help himself but think more of this
he knew that you were younger than him but he never saw you in a sisterly way
he always looked at you as a person or more specifically a woman
he didnt mind thinking of you liking him however the only part of him that got him wanting to stop having you on his mind was that
how would it work out ?
and how would bakugou react?
he really wanted to talk to you about it but seeing how uncertain you were about these feelings for him, he decided to try to get your attention and see that he too, had possible feelings for you
the pining
ever since he heard that conversation between you and your friend
he would subtlety leave you small hints
sometimes he would ask if he could take your backpack and hold it for you
during the study sessions between him and bakugou, whenever you would come into their dorm room ( with mr aizawa's permission ) he would ask if he could lean against your shoulder when he would get tired from the countless hours of studying
you would always say yes to his offers
you said yes to it because one, you were having crazy feelings for him but two, you thought it was really sweet of him to ask you for these things
you never had any other guy to ask you these offers, kirishima was the first one
as these small interactions started to happen, you caught yourself hearing a conversation between kirishima and bakugou
" you like my sister ?" bakugou asked.
" uhh...what made you think that?" kirishima nervously asked.
you were hiding from the corner away from the hallway where your brother and kirishima stood.
" oi, shitty hair its fucking obvious" he states.
" haha...how did you know ?" Kirishima nervously replied with a fear of look on his face.
" come on you and my sister, i see the way you look at her and the interactions you have with her. i mean im fine with you to date her but shitty hair, if you hurt her feelings or hurt her in anyway i will blast you " bakugou leans in closely to kirishima, giving him a glare.
" so uh most importantly you're okay with me wanting to date your sister ?"
" yeah as long you treat her right shitty hair"
after that conversation with bakugou and kirishima, your face was really red
the confession
kirishima's confession to you was simple
he wanted to tell you when you and him had some alone time away from anyone else
" hey can i talk to you, y/n?" kirishima asks you.
" sure kiri!" you reply back.
kirishima leads you to the hallways where nobody was seen. his face was slowly becoming dark red and he was fidgeting with his hands.
he was nervous. you started to get sorta suspicious of him acting like this but you couldnt jump to conclusions until you heard what he had to tell you.
" you know , im not sure if you know but i wanted to tell you that i think i been liking yo-"
" i know, kiri. " you truthfully told him.
" you know what?" he asks.
" i know you like me" you smiled at him with a chuckle, " it's cute but i accidentally heard you talking to katsuki about me. i apologize for walking in to hear that but-"
you were caught off guard because the next thing you saw that was coming at you. you felt a warm hug and kiss on your forehead by him. you didn't realize he was holding you this close and had kissed you on the forehead. however your cheeks were speaking what your mouth couldn't produce.
" no please y/n, im glad you found out by then. i actually had overheard a conversation between you and your friend about me" he was looking at you with his eyes focused on your eyes," it was cute. really really cute. but since we know how we feel about each other. ill wait for you after i graduate" he states.
your eyes soften as you heard the word 'wait'. you never had experience anything like this especially finding yourself waiting for your brother's best friend to date you after you graduate UA.
" you'll wait for me? are you sure about that, kiri?" you asked him, your hands were softly caressing his cheeks.
"of course. i mean i dont think i want to give myself away to anyone else but you, y/n" he give a reassuring smile before kissing your forehead again.
" let's wait for each other okay?" he hands his pinky finger for you. you take your pinky finger out, both creating a pinky promise.
the dating and reaction of bakugou
after you graduated and became a pro hero like kirishima and your brother, bakugou
you were happily dating the hardening hero, ejiro kirishima
you both had time for each other on the weekends
movie nights would happen, cuddling sessions and sometimes even cooking sessions too
your hands were always held against his and kissed by him too
you were there for him whenever he had insecurities of his quirk
and he was there for you to lean onto when you had moments of your own insecurities too
but you both balanced each other out
your first kiss with him was shared on your half way mark to your first anniversary of dating
then by the full year mark, you both had kissed so much
you often wore his clothes and shared the things you learned from your online classes
he shared his memories at work with his agency and
it felt like the memories you and him shared when you were in middle school
now bakugou, when he first saw you both together once as a couple
as a couple i said not as " friends "
let's say that he was utterly disgusted when he saw his best friend running over to you, kissing you on the forehead
"DISGUSTING! THATS SO FUCKING GROSS JESUS CHRIST !" he had to walk away from the both of you.
he was happy for you and happy for his best friend
but mostly for you, because
he was your older brother and you were his sister but
he didnt ever want to see you hurt from his best friend
sure he bullied you and was a little brat towards you but only he could make you try or feel hurt
if it was someone else like kirishima, he would be hella disappointed in him but also would feel shitty about himself
he doesn't like admiting he cares for you and wants to protect you
but if he can protect you from a far or tell you something to prevent you from getting hurt
that's all he cared for
because from the day he saw you looking at kirishima, he knew that you had to be with his best fiend than anyone else
besides he was ok with you being next to kirishima in the past
and now hes relieved that someday his best friend will be marrying his baby sister
that's all he could care for
333 notes · View notes
frogsandcookies · 3 years
Text
My Thoughts on Lego DC Batman Family Matters
-Disclaimer: I watched this on clips on YouTube so if things are out of order, oh well- 
___
-“Damian? Are you done with your math homework???” Bruce is actually acting like a normal dad
-DAMIAN’S SMILING AND ACTING LIKE A NORMAL KID (or as normal as you can be after everything he’s been through) BASICALLY HE’S HAPPY :D
-Oh my god he used the classic phrase of “When am I ever going to use ___ in the real world” I love it
-We get wholesome interactions between Bruce and Damian
-I half expected Damian to call Tim something along the lines of “Asshole” or “Bitch” 
-I just want to comment on how short Damian is 
-“ImPoSsIbLe”
-“In fact, I wanted to ask you to change my name to Dangerlad”
-Damian is acting like Dick from the Lego Batman movie (and it’s amazing)
-“Cross contamination is nothing to laugh about” As a person with celiac disease, I completely agree
-Ace’s chew toy is Superman
-“Next subject” Ah, back to avoidance
-Barbara just ignoring Dick and going straight to talking to Bruce XD
-The reason for this XD
-Catherine is awesome
-And at this point I realized why Damian sounds so familiar: He’s voiced by the same person who voices Robin on TTG
-Robin sneaking out to go meet them lol
-Barbara and Dick’s interactions XD
-“Oooh burn”
-Jason’s villain-ensue clapping
-I just noticed Dick’s hair. …I don’t know what to say
-I feel like if this wasn’t a PG movie, Jason would have said “Not shit, sherlock” when he’s talking to Damian
-ThE tRuSt FuNds (aka Dick worry about the trust funds) 
-Killer croc looks like the hulk with scales
-The way Catherine just beats Killer Croc’s sexist butt is amazing ; we Stan
-Jason’s kinda acting like a bitch ngl
-Dick and Damian interactions! :D
-Dick’s telling an old man story (ie. “Back in my day…)
-Damian just falls off a train XD
-“Something fishy’s going on for sure” A fish with TNT proceeds to be thrown at the two
-The Riddler’s voice is snakey
-Dick: *fails at telling a joke* | Damian: *disappointed sigh*
-The penguins have no eyes???? What the???
-THE TEN YEAR OLD IS DRIVING A CAR *proceeds to crash into a train*
-Jason proceeds to crawl out of the shadows in a totally not creepy way
-*sees graphling hook* Mabel Pines?
-Jason sounds a bit like Bill Cipher (voice-wise)
-“Not bad old man” -Jason to Dick
-Is that Haly’s circus???
-Gotham citizens are so neutralized to seeing the villains and bats running around that instead of running away, they just take photos lmao
-We Stan protective Dick 
-Don’t fuck with Alfred
-The license plate reads “yeahboi1”
-Billy Batson :D he sounds vaguely like Steven from SU *looks it up* HE’S VOICED BY THE SAME PERSON
-The mirroring of the movie fighting
-*Ominous bat shadow* *pan to see Bruce holding out his cape*
-“Or should I say…Jason Todd” *shocked Pikachu face reaction from everyone else* 
-How does Jason not have hat hair
-“I thought you were dead!” “You said I was dead?!”
-Obligatory Talia mention
-But they met at a train station?
-IT WAS HALY’S
-I love that Jason and Bruce met because Jason stole the wheels of the bat mobile 
-“You stole the wheels of the bat mobile? Oh dude that is so cool!” “Yeah, he was not happy” Damian and Jason friendly interaction :D
-I love the shared exasperation at Bruce
-Dramatic “he’s betrayed us. Again” from Damian who didn’t even know of Jason’s existence until several hours ago
-Two Faces’s suit is nasty looking
-“Fortune favors the bold” -Pliny the Elder right before the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and now Two Face (the only reason I know the former is because of puppet history)
-The How To videos will one day take over the world
-“Truth, justice, and the destruction of Batman”
-“He’s a narcissistic jerk who has no regard for his family’s legacy or his own responsibility to Gotham” Not wrong kinda
-Damian and Barbara team up!
-Damian and Barbara falling out of the sky
-Damian being productive while the three adults fight 
-Dick: *weird rocket noises* | Barbara: “My insensitive boyfriend, everyone”
-“Listen to my gruff voice and be intimidated” 
-Two Face just eating Bruce out of the building
-Jason kinda reminds me from Michael from BMC b/c of the scene where he says “This is just like my favorite video game” as he shoots cyborg things
-Jason celebrating beating his video game and being happy and not angsty for once :D
-“…chum” “I looked up chum by the way. It means fish cut up into shark bait.” XD
-EXPLOSION
-I like the parachutes
-Meetings are boring to be fair though
-Jason’s internal voice: “ya’ done fucked up Batman”
-Ace literally says “Bark”
End thoughts: So Damian’s obviously not in character too much but I like seeing him as a genuinely happy child so I don’t really care. It was also fun seeing Jason happy and the squabble between Dick and Barbara was amusing since it seems kinda accurate. I don’t know much about Catherine but she’s awesome in this movie (though she and Barbara look almost identical). Overall it was pretty good and an enjoyable experience :D Though I wish Tim, Steph, Cass, and Duke were in it. I can only imagine the heightened chaos 
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ronoken · 3 years
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Moon Warriors- A Terrible YA Story Starter
So, I have a terrible hobby. I like to see how awful I can make a story. For example, I was trying to avoid doing work and thought, “What’s the worst possible thing I could write that could be classified as a YA story?” And then I cranked this out in 30 minutes. Enjoy. Or don’t.
Like, it’s bad.
***
Once upon a time, in a land that is totally like our own, but more dystopian, because you can always add a smidge more dystopia (seriously, it’s the “hold my beer” of writing styles), lived a princess warrior. She had been taken from the royal palace, which was totally opulent and beautiful and loaded with people wearing wigs and makeup and lots of fancy clothing. It had been the night of the Spit On The Poor ball, where factory workers were sewn into the ballroom floor for the bourgeois to dance the night away on. After the dancing and the feast, which consisted of at least three hobos, the guests would wander to the gladiator pits where children would be chained to one another and were told to fight to the death, with life-saving medications being offered as the prize to the victors.
Anyway, the princess, who was a baby, was spirited out of the castle just as the cable news feeds to the kingdom were cut and the poor were suddenly deprived of their conservative news feed. Like the great white shark in Jaws 3 that had been trapped in a container after the pumps had been shut off, the people thrashed and growled, and demanded their precious feed of systemic bigotry resume to tell them how their situation was normal. Without this reassurance, they turned their frothing hatred towards the castle, and stormed it in a mad desire for flesh and live panel breakdowns of how other-colored people were responsible for unemployment.
And so, the princess lived. She was raised by her kindly nursemaid in a small village, called Poor People District-19. She grew up smart, and plucky, and fast. She was a cunning as she was beautiful, and she was totally hot, so that worked in her favor. Her hair was always hanging down and kinda dirty, but not so dirty that you’d go “eww!” More like she was one shower and a nice change of clothes away from being Princess McHotCharacter. Her clothes were rags, but nice, color-coordinated rags, and she was totally good with handheld weapons, like knives, arrows, and spears. She survived by hunting and doing underground video blogs about the tyrant king who had survived the uprising of 17 years ago who was also her dad BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW THAT.
The princess didn’t know she was a princess. Instead, she was simply Jessica. Jessica Steel-Tiger; a rough and tumble gal who was too focused on freedom and her people to think about love.
At least that was the case up until the robot prince visited her land to see what poor people were. He was from the moon and lived there in harmony with the other robot people. He however had a sinister secret; he was born human. He had a whole bunch of cybernetic implants and stuff, so he was a kick-ass cyborg, but he still looked hot, so we’re good. He had some cool circuit-looking tattoos that were actually circuits (because TECHNOLOGY) along the side of his face, and his eyes would glow light blue due to robot-related things. His face was symmetrical, his hair was blond and kinda pointy, and he had abs. Hot, semi-robotic abs. His semi-see-through chainmail shirt would show them off as he travelled in his bubble-topped robot motorcade. He also had an axe or something. I dunno, it was cool.
Jessica was poised to take out the motorcade all Ewok-style, which was a thing in poor people lands. She had rigged up some boulders to roll off the tops of buildings (all poor-looking buildings, with no glass and soot stains on the sides) and some logs to roll across their path to slow them down (poor-looking logs, what with their lack of park and ramen cups squished into their branches). Then, she would leap atop the car, fight the robot prince to the death, chop off his head, and put it on a rusty girder pike in the town square. Actually, it was more of a town triangle- they couldn’t afford squares.
The rocks fell and took out the police hover cars just like she planned. She also had some nets for the walking soldiers, because nets.
Nets!
 Anyway, everyone was taken out except for the robot prince, who opened the bubble top of his car, picked up his wicked-looking axe thing, and scanned the rooftops for the person responsible. He was soon rewarded with the site of Jessica doing a ton of somersaults through the air and landing perfectly on the hood of his lime green prince transport, as lime green is the color of lunar royalty. She twirled her staff and looked him in his handsome, robot eyes.
“I’m here to kill you,” she hissed.
The prince froze, mesmerized. “Wow. I have no idea who you are, but I am attracted to you.”
Jessica blushed and sputtered. “But, but you’re my enemy! You can’t be attracted to me. NOW WE FIGHT TO THE DEATH!”
She swung her staff, and he countered with his axe, and they dance/fought to a cool techno beat all around the street. He would be all, “I’m gonna hit you with this!” and swing his axe, and it would slo-mo miss her as she did a cool dodge backwards. She would do a twirly spin hit against him that would be countered by the handle of his axe, and then they would push against each other and get real close, each locking eyes with the other.
“I find you menacing and attractive,” the prince said.
“Your ability to defend yourself and your awesome eyes have aroused me, but that doesn’t excuse my rage towards you!” Jessica countered.
“Why do you hate me?” The robot prince asked, confused. “It is because I’m different? Robot different?”
“No! Because you’re evil!” Jessica countered.
The robot prince stared into Jessica’s eyes. “But… What if I could change?”
Jessica grabbed him and kissed him right there in the middle of the street. The kiss was electric and sparky, because he was half-robot, but his mouth was all hotness. It made her all angry and flustered again, but in the hot way that can be taken care of in about five minutes if necessary.
“Come with me,” Jessica said. “Join my rebellion and help me fight the evil king.”
“The king is totally evil,” the robot prince said. “He murdered my father. I am here to secretly get near to him and then kill him with my robot parts.”
“Then you’ll join my rebellion?” Jessica asked?
“Yes,” the robot prince, who was probably named something kinda dumb like Thunderrose Abberstone or something, said. “Can you teach me to be as awesome as you?”
Jessica shook her head. “No, but I’ll teach you to be as awesome as you,” she said.
Blushing, the robot prince nodded in agreement and followed her into the city to plot their rebellion.
And then they fucked.
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gildedmuse · 4 years
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Anonymous asked:
do you like any of the one piece manga colorspreads? if yes, which ones?
(Apparently you cannot answer questions more than once which seems like a flaw. People can always change their mind.
Let's see, where did I leave off? Oh that's right. the Strawhats are a acid punk rock band now . So the obvious next step is...
Devil Fruit's Angels
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That's right, in this universe the Strawhats aren't marauders of the sea. They're marauders of the open road.
Look at this badass biker gang. And I'm not abbreviating for motorcycles. Luffy heard there were such a thing as a biker gang and took it very literally. Best of all, he got eight people to go along with this.
Eventually, he accidentally tore the bottom wheel rim from his bike, the Going Merry, but then they met Franky and since he was unaware of Luffy's stupidity innocence at this time, he built him an actual damn motorcycle. Zoro painted the sidecar to look like a shark (okay technically Usopp did the painting and Zoro bitched about it but he loves it if anyone scratches that paint job they immediately find themselves with their blades in their face). He just lays there, sleeping, sometimes doing weights while letting Luffy drive a fucking motorcycle.
Love that Nami weighed up her choices and her and Robin decide to ride with Usopp. Let's face it, he is easily the most responsible rider. Well, that's why Nami choose him. Chopper has two designated seats: Usopp's basket and Zoro's lap. So of course Robin has to sit where she can see Chopper.
Also, LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE CHOPPER IS IN A BASKET.
Brook seems to be riding a penny farthing which is pretty amazing. He probably just had one in his garage from his youth. Sanji has wisely decided to ride backwards bitchseat so that smoke doesn't fly back in his own face. I am unable to see what Franky is driving. I assume his bottom half turns into a motorcycle. I mean why not?
The Strawhat Gang does pretty much the exact same shit they do as Pirates. I mean, Luffy even falls into water just as often. How? It's Luffy that's how.
Law's little group of anarchist ride around in a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Fight me.
Winter Wonder Island
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IS THAT PENGUIN WEARING ZORO'S HARAMAKI? HOW DID HE GET IT? DIES ZORO KNOW? DID HE GIVE OT TO HIM? DID ZORO THINK THE PENGUIN'S BELLY MIGHT BE COLD?
I love Nami and Chopper playing, though Chopper looks less pleased. Plus the polar bear and Luffy are just the same person/bear. And nothing can convince me Robin isn't currently getting a back massage by a walrus. That is how my bitch roles.
The Straw Helmets
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And we're back to the AUs.
Total honesty time: I picked this less put of love (though I enjoy most the AU ones) and more to annoy a friend.. See, I know many a Norwegian. They are a super nice country, you guys.
Who get super pissed at popular depictions of Vikings. Which are wrong.
And yet this particular reimagining is so wrong it's like gone full circle. I mean it's still nowhere near accurate but damn is it awesome. Are they riding walruses? Oda knows the Vikings had horses, right? And reindeer?
And yet he's gone with the well known domestic walrus. Huh. It's a choice.
Honestly, Franky and Usopp's costumes look more gladiator than Viking (also, I know you are a pervert Franky, but you literally gonna die of hypothermia.) Chopper is apparently one of those famous Japaness Vikings based on his costume design while Luffy is wearing something I can 100% imagine Doflamingo owned at some point. And Zoro....
Well, there is a reason I have a tag called Zoro's sense of direction and/or fashion. Look at that thing. That is a mess. I love it.
Get Wet
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Nami, babe, me, Brook, Sanji, and apparently Robin a appreciate how sexy you're being right now.
But all I see is Zoro's damn fine back with water forming little riblets around his muscles. Also, love the boy's smile as he watches Luffy. He totally knows what's about to go down and thinks it's fucking hilarious.
They Call It The Grand Line
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Every member of the coward trio (plus guest member Brook) is freaking the fuck out and I love it. Chopper and Nami are cling to one another, Brook's soul has left his body, and I'm pretty certain Usopp has half climbed into the seat in front of him to grab Zoro. Which I cannot blame him for.
Meanwhile, Robin is watching this whole spectacle with mild amusement, Sanji is straight up grilling... While on the back of a rollar coaster, Franky is chowing down on some of that food and Zoro... Zoro is getting drunk. On a rollar coaster.
The only one who seems to be having any fun is Luffy, sitting, of course, on his special seat. Look at that kid, he's having a blast. Well now we know how all the other Strawhats ended up here.
A Game Of Chicken
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There's a lot I could say about this picture, but all I'm going to say is this: Zoro is clearly riding a weird ass chocobo.
What else can beat that?
Pirate Olympics: Where Everyone Is Winner Wanted Man
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Oh, look, it's another AU one!
Look, over all, everyone has a sport that is either well suited to them (except maybe Brook. I mean soccer? Really? Not, like short distance sprinting since he's the fastest strawhat or fencing? If it were winter he could participate in the skeleton - yohohoho!).
Let's just amire Zoro playing baseball THREE BAT STYLE. LIke a goddamn boss.
You Know What's Awesome? Drugs.
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It doesn't even matter what's going on in this one, it's goddamn beautiful.
Just Another Sunny Day
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[You know when I said I haven't read the manga yet? Well, also terrible with visual images - the world should be in words in my opinion. So this, it turns out, is not a colorspread but fanart by the very talented Frayten who I deeply apologize to for not crediting earlier. I'm keeping it though, because it's amazing art, it's been reblogged and at least now it's properly credit on the main post. Many thanks to @blueriza to for being a better fan than I am.]
I really enjoy this little switch up. I want to believe it isn't just Law fucking with them but they've all inhaled some kind of mind switching pollen of something. So one day Law just came out to find Robin making breakfast and heart eyes at all the men, Sanji eating nothing but meet and bouncing around like he was made of rubber, Franky trying to play the violin, Chopper taling wild stories about when he was captain, Usopp training for a couple hours before passing out, Brook worrying over everyone's health, Nami striking posed while talking about how SUPER it all is, and Luffy, for once in his life, perfectly calm as he sits there reading.
That would be hilarious but, yeah, obviously it was Law. Look at how Nami Zoro is threatening him. She know exactly who pulled this shit. And look at Law's smug little smirk.
Hey, you suppose Law flirted with Nami Zoro? I know it's Nami but she's still got Zoro's abs and ass. Just throwing that out there.
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aestheticsuwu · 3 years
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✨🌇•Like theres No one else but us •🌇✨
Bonfire au Demetri x Eli " Hawk "
[ Part 2 ]
.......... ✨🌇✨ ...... ........
Hawk was so pumped for the bonfire , finally where they could party . Miguel and Sam had come up with the idea and he was on board in a instant . Who knew Sam could be fun , They were still not friends level but they could have a conversation without fighting so that a win .
But when Miguel told him Kyler might go to the bonfire he was ready to yeet Sam , and when he voiced his thoughts to miguel it just gave him a lecture about forgiving and something about clean slates and blah blah , thank god for his mind supplying images of Dem .
He tried to look like he was listening because he knows Miguel would get Sensei LaRusso on the lecture too .
He doesnt have that much brain capacity to listen to all of it , i mean he does but doesnt mean he wants too .
....... ..... .  ..
 The day was going alright the sun was out but not scorching hot , the only thing that was hot was him .... and Dem . But that didnt excuse Demetri playing Volleyball terribly making them lose to Chris and Mitch and now Moon and Piper .
 He was reconsidering on changing teams , until Demetri warned him if he did he wasnt allowed to kiss him . Like if that would scared him ,
So like a good boyfriend he was he did his best to do all the work for they could win , in return he got a kiss for every score .
Later on after multiple games of volleyball they went in the water for a swim , he was trying to convince Dem to go in farther with him but only got his a rant about sharks or him getting washed away  .
" I promise to hold your hand , Dem . Cmon lets have fun . " 
He tried to do his best pout to convince him but Demetri still didnt want to , he will just use this to his advantage to make him play chicken fight .
" Fine , we can look for seashells if you want . "
" No you go have fun Sam and Miguel are going to join , go play with Chris and Mitch . "
Hawk grabs Demtris hand and leans up to kiss and giving his reasurring smile that it was fine . He rather look for seashells with his Dem and talk about the new comic book .
Once they gather enough seashells , they all gathered when He called them to play chicken fight , His eye caught Kylers . He looked away once Demetri started saying no that he wouldnt take part .
Soon Demetri stopped to point out Robby had arrived , from where he was standing the figure that was walking with keene was Rickenberger .
Sam , Miguel and Demetri went to keene while he stayed with the rest , Kyler nod his head to speak with him in private .
He waited for Kyler to speak , he wore a nervous expression .
" Look man , my actions are not justified.  What i did to you and others are just fucked up and i wish i could take back everything but i cant . What i can do is to try to choose the way its best for me and for the rest . Man , im bad at worst but Mr. LaRusso told me his wisdom about roots and bonsai trees . What im trying to say is im sorry . "
" Your right,  i shouldn't forgive you but if Demetri took me back and forgave me for all the shit and stuff i did to hurt me , and if your being sincere about changing then i will accept your apologies , just remember i can kick your ass . "
They both laughed at the last comment,  they did a bro hug to seal the deal , going back he can see everyone waiting for them  to come back , he couldnt help but to ask when he sees Yasmine .
" Sooo ... You and Yasmine ? "
" Yeah , it felt right . "
" Good , keep her away from Demetri will ya  . "
Kyler chuckles agreeing with him , once arriving Miguel announces their playing chicken fight .
..... ....
" Alright everyone knows the rules , cheating is allowed if needed for the losers ! Alright teams , Moon , Piper , Yasmine , Kyler ,  Tory and Aisha are Team Cobras .. What ? i couldnt come up with a better name . "
He adds quickly when they gave him a deadpan face every single one of them , turning to look at his team that he didnt choose on purpose . Wink , Wink .
" El serpiente , Sam , Rickenberger,  Keene , Dem and Me . Our team name is  Balance per Request of Sam . Alright , lets start  ! "
They went seprately to plan their moves , they decided Hawk and Demetri to go first to Dems displeasure . The originals Myagi-do students would go on top .
" If you guys need to do your Katas to win do it because im not losing today ! "
They were going against Moon and Piper , It was easy win althought moon put a good fight . Then went Rickenberger, Robby vs Tory and Aisha . He didnt say it outloud but he honestly thought Tory and Aisha was going to win until Tory got to cocky and didnt see the push that was coming from Keene .
High fiving Keene and Doug , it was 2 against none . He was teasing Miguel about skipping leg day , when he sees Doug kiss Keene .
" What the ?!  When did this happen ?! "
" Dont be suprised  , I thought everyone knew about Dougs crush . "
Robby answered while the rest laughed  , He knew about the guys crush but why was he the last one to know ? He didnt honestly see the appeal of the blond but hey who was he to judge for lack of taste .
Robby and Demetri helped Sam up to Miguels shoulder , He quickly asked Doug a Question .
" What made you crazy for  Robby ? "
Rickenberger face got all sappy with love expression
" His eyes , cute smile and his freck--  "
" It was his ass, right  ? " He said with a smirk .
" If i told yes would you stop bothering me ? "
 
Doug gave him a annoyed look , sheesh next time he would let him recite poetry about Robby .
" What are you guys talking about ?"
Robby questioned with Dem beside him .
" Doug's obssesion with your ass ! "
And okay he did deserve that push to the sand from Doug , atleast Dem gave him a kiss and helped him up .
They one the first round , who wouldve guess Yasmine was good at playing but not good enough to beat sam . The play few more rounds until they all went for a walk and came back to set the bonfire .
It was an awesome day , and the night was beautiful of eating snacks playing games like never have i ever and Singing . While Miguel was singing to Sam and everyone else distracted he turns to Demetri .
" Hey , have i told you much i love you today ? "
Dem pretended to think , he shakes his head . He leans to kiss him , He whispers to Demetri that he loves him . Hearing Dem say the words back made his heart feel warm .
" I love you too , Eli "
yup , it was a good day .
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writethehousedown · 4 years
Text
Conflicted Looks Good On You (Crystal x Gigi) - Mina
A/N: Hi everyone, i’m so excited to finally get to participate in one of these challenges! I worked really really hard on this so I hope you enjoy it, this is possibly my best fic yet? :> Please go say hello on my blog @goodemornting !!
Crystal works as a lifeguard for the scariest ride in the entire waterpark, The Vortex of Death. Gigi hates scary things, but might make an exception for the pretty woman who keeps on saving her.
The first time Gigi met Crystal, she’d been dying. No, literally dying.
There was water in her lungs, and it felt like she was drowning from the inside. Her feet were somehow stuck to something that felt like clammy plastic, almost suffocating against her skin. The sky was blurry above in bruised shades of purple, great swathes of orange cutting across it, and it looked like the skies in those terrible indie horror movies Jackie sometimes made her watch. There was a procession of skulls above her as well, faces grotesque and grimy with tongues protruding from bony cheeks and dripping drool into a pool of flames, and Gigi couldn’t help but wonder whether the devil had finally gotten the best of her and sent her down to hell.
Her first coherent thought was thighs. Good thighs. Nice, strong, tan thighs with a soft layer of muscle. The kind of thighs she’d like to see walking around the house on lazy Sunday mornings, blue shorts attached to them and a tacky, overlong red T-shirt hanging down just below the waistline. Water-drops clung to wet skin and ran down in interesting little rivulets, creating intricate lines that could be traced most efficiently with a tongue.
Pair of Thighs had to have a face up there somewhere, Gigi hoped, but then again this was hell so was she really sure?
She chocked at the feel of hands intertwining with her own, grip tight and unflinching as they struggled to lift her up. The gaping skulls and fire became spirals of blood-red spots, scrunching her eyes up and letting herself be lifted from the water. She tried to breathe in and felt her lungs burn, throat tight and painful.
A hand thumped her back hard.
Gigi sputtered, dribbling water. She almost managed to cough out a sentence but then someone’s mouth was on her own, knocking any coherency straight back out of her with the feel of soft lips pulling harshly to get a better grip. She startled, shoulders tensing, but her arms didn’t have the strength to pull away. She tasted sugary peaches, like the kind that filled the cakes and pastries in cafe windows, warm fingers on the back of her head offering the lightest pressure, before they pulled away with a quiet gasp. Gigi scrambled back, and in her daze, managed to kick someone squarely in the chest.
“Holy shit! Holy shit, Gigi!”
If this really was hell and peachy-tan-thighs-girl was a demon, then Gigi was screwed because somehow she’d also brought her best friend into this equation.
“J-Jackie?”
The Persian woman crowded her field of vision, shoulders slumping in relief at the brunette’s words. She looked pale, a wet towel slung over her neck and brown eyes comically huge behind her glasses. Her hands were pressed against her face, squishing up her cheeks in nervous panic, and Gigi thought she looked like a twelve-year-old.
“Oh my god, what were you thinking? Why did you do that?” She screeched, hands clutching her heart as though it might beat right out of her chest “Did you get water in your head or something? I thought you were going to die!” Gigi looked back at her hazily, almost apologetic for how nervous the older woman looked.
“D-do what?” The younger gasped out, shaking slightly from the cold water hugging her skin.
“Jump out of the floatie!” Jackie hissed, turning to speak to someone out of Gigi’s vision. “I’m sorry, are you all good?”
“I’m fine.” A honey voice laughed gently, breathing heavily, “Is your friend alright now?”
“She seems to be alive,” Jackie trilled, high and panicky. “And talking. Is that bad?”
“Oh, no, that’s great. Maybe you can head to the cafe, get some sugar in her.”
Gigi floundered to sit up and get a full look of peach girls face, rubbing at her eyes that were stinging from the pool water. The lifeguard was still clutching her chest in pain, but her grin was square and wide and her striking orange hair was pulled back from her face in a messy ponytail. A jarringly purple headband covered half her forehead, keeping her curly hair off her face, and Gigi saw manicured brows, soft lips and golden, tan skin. The top lip was thicker than the bottom one, which was interesting, and the brunette told herself she was only staring so hard because those lips had been on hers just a few moments ago.
Because Gigi had - apparently, in panic - jumped off her floatie in the midst of the scariest ride in the fucking park, the Vortex of Death, and proceeded to injure the poor lifeguard.
She felt her heart stop again. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, “I’m really sorry, oh my God. I kicked you. After you saved me. I am so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I like saving lives.” The woman grinned like it was nothing, waving a hand nonchalantly which the brunette noticed had fingernails painted in rainbow colours. “Not often that I have to climb up half the ride to do it, but it shook up my day a little.”
Jackie tried ineffectively to dry Gigi’s hair with her wet towel, scoffing under her breath. “Don’t you usually save people lower down?”
“Yep. Most pass through the shark dive before they panic and flail and I have to go pull them out.”
Gigi frowned. “Where was I?”
“Still in the flame thrower part.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t sound so disappointed. At least you didn’t drown.”
Jackie was nodding, though she looked like she was trying to convince herself that everything was okay more than Gigi. She still looked horrified, patting the brunette’s head with that towel and biting down on her lip so hard that Gigi was afraid she’d tear right through.
“It’s okay, honey,” The older whispered, “You can get stuck in the shark dive next time.”
The lifeguard girl giggled loudly at that, shoulders shaking gently. Her voice was a pretty, smooth thing, sling-shotting itself straight into Gigi’s veins, but her laughter itself was heady and adorable. Her one piece swimsuit showcased an embroidered burning skull with the words Vortex of Death beneath it, hardly fitting of the bright brown eyes and gummy smile the taller woman possessed. Her name-tag badge said Crystal, which was a weird one, but who was Gigi to judge? Her blue shorts looked tight and stuck to her skin way too snug, hugging her toned muscles. It wasn’t fair, because even in her tacky lifeguard clothes, Crystal looked like she belonged in a summer fashion catalog. She didn’t look real, much more suited to a beach in the Mexican coast or a hip village in the south of France or something, working on her perfect tan skin.
She certainly did not look like she should be giving CPR in a shitty waterpark in a tiny corner of southern California, and Gigi was immediately mesmerized - cartoon heart eyes, dry mouth, shaky hands - the whole package.
“Do you feel like you can stand up?” Peach girl - Crystal - asked with a tilt of her head. She looked concerned, warm eyes fixed on Gigi’s own and large palm held out for her to hold.
“Y-yeah.”
“Awesome,” She grinned. “Come on, then. Take my hand.”
The younger woman grabbed at it, ignoring the way her heart jumped at the feel of her long fingers closing around her palm, strong and promising. Crystal yanked her up and off of the concrete, catching her neatly after she yet again stumbled into her arms. Gigi gaped up at her, halfway dead again from mortification, but the tan woman’s smile was warm and kind, carving deep laugh lines into her cheeks.
She swallowed hard and felt her insides flutter.
That had been the beginning of her doom.
***
“Nicky says she’s imprinting on you,” Jan grinned when they met at the entrance to the park, under the palm trees surrounding the ticket booth. “Like baby ducks imprint on mom ducks. Only your mom is a hot lifeguard who’s mandated to wear those teeny shorts.”
“She’s not my mom,” Gigi hissed, but Jan didn’t paying attention. “What’s up with this dumb park and teeny shorts, anyway?”
The blondes head turned as a woman passed them by, gaze lingering on the same uniform swimsuit. Gigi had been at this park enough times now to recognize the broad shoulders and dark hair of Jaida, the girl who handled the Lazy River. She spotted her sometimes with Crystal, fooling around when the crowds were less and they had nothing to do. She low-key resented the woman because it was absolutely impossible not to, Jaida was gorgeous, like, beach model, I-do-runway-shows-for-fun gorgeous, and they were super touchy and flirty and annoying all of the time. Once, at Gigi’s insistence, Nicky had asked Jaida if the two were dating. The dark haired woman’s response had been loud, deep laughter, and a pat to the top of Nicky’s head.
“Her name’s Jaida, if you want to know,” She told Jan with a frown, hoping she didn’t sound too aggressive, “She’s really pretty, huh.”
“Jackie told me her name,” Jan replied thoughtfully, craning her neck to keep gazing at the older lifeguard. “Your Crystal is pretty too. Doesn’t she sing as well?”
“She only does one direction songs,” Gigi muttered, shouldering past the older girl to pay for tickets, “She’s a real pro at those, though.”
A loud snicker from behind her told her that Nicky had finally joined them. “She’s a weird one, huh?“
“She’s not weird,” Gigi pouted, crossing her arms, “She’s just…she’s different.”
The French woman snorted, “You act the sun shines out of her ass.”
The brunette pinched the bridge of her nose exasperatedly, “Why the fuck did I bring you guys?”
“Because you know it’s too lame to come to water parks alone.”
Nicky added, “Do you really think we have nothing better to do with our weekends?”
Gigi raised an eyebrow. “You really don’t.”
The French woman frowned, “Well, yeah, fair. But it wasn’t me who decided to crush on the lifeguard that strictly works at the scariest ride in the entire water-park, while having the biggest fear of water.”
“Will you ever let that go?”
“I don’t know. You might have to actually get the girl before that.”
They passed through the entrance to the park, Gigi’s feet acting on their own as they dragged her to her inevitable destination, the stone pathway leading up to the scariest ride in the entire park. Jan laughed once they arrived, nudging the brunette’s shoulder, “Hey, how many times do you think we’ve come here in the last six weeks?”
Gigi didn’t reply, she didn’t know if she was ready to acknowledge the number yet. She knew exactly how many times.
Twenty.
Twenty fucking times she’d come to the water park in the last month, and twenty fucking times she’d climbed into the Vortex with her heart beating out of her chest. It never stopped being terrifying, she never stopped feeling like she’d puke, but somehow, she’d conditioned herself at a Pavlovian level to look forward to it.
To look forward to Crystal meeting her at the bottom of the ride, beaming smile preemptively in place and warm hands waiting to yank her out of the water.
Crystal. Gigi tried out the name nearly every day since the lifeguard had told it to her. Tonguing it around in her mouth, getting a feel for it. Crystal.
Crystal was always there, waiting at the end of the ride like a little guardian angel dressed in her teeny shorts and sometimes that purple headband, reaching out to help the hapless souls flailing in her pool after being spit out by the hell-ride.
What’s up, Gigi would ask, cool as you please. And Crystal would reply excitedly, did you have fun? She would nod, very cool, as if she hadn’t just spent the last one minute screaming her head off like a banshee. As if she hadn’t felt her soul fly up all the way to her gullet, hanging on by a bare thread for the entire duration of the ride. And how was your week, busy yeah? She’d ask, swallowing down her nausea. And Crystal would say something cute, something funny, like oh, I had to dig two people out of the slide today. No big deal.
The lifeguard always smelt like something citrus and tropical, only slightly layered with the chemicals in the water. She always had those peach-shine lips, and Gigi wondered how much lipbalm the lifeguard must go through because they’re more likely to become chapped with all the chlorine she was in contact with. Gigi would stay for a few minutes, chatting with her, asking her things. Do you like pizza? I like pizza, and Do you like sewing? I like sewing. She learned that Crystal likes dancing, and eating Italian food. That Crystal’s accent is colored with the heavy Spanish she picked up from growing up in Mexico. That when she’s not saving lives in the dumb theme park she moonlights as a bartender in some tiny club.
Crystal had even come to expect her, always asking where she’d been if the brunette hadn’t shot down the Vortex for a few days. It lit something fierce in Gigi’s heart when she did that, knowing that the older girl thought of her when she wasn’t around. She would absolutely keep coming back, waste her money on tickets and climb into a ride that scares the soul out of her, just to hear the older woman say what have you been up to? I missed you this week.
It’s a potent sort of crush. Puppy-love strong, blood on fire, wanting-to-serenade-with-roses-and-tulips sort of thing.
Gigi is so gone.
“You okay to do the Vortex alone today?” Jan asked, bouncing giddily on her toes, “Nicky and I are thinking of doing the Lazy River.”
Of course they were. They were going to spend most of that Lazy River ride falling out of their floaties and scraping their heads along the side and bumping into others - general incompetent nonsense that’d get Jaida to follow them exasperatedly along the edges of the entire course. “Sure, try not to get yourselves killed.” What she wanted to say is please don’t go, I’m so terrified, but the idea of getting some precious alone time with a certain tan skinned lifeguard has her holding her head up confidently, walking through the fiery entrance alone like she wasn’t about to faint.
The line dwindled. The Vortex’s head was shaped like a screaming man, tiny red and black striped boats sitting in lines ready to escort people through the horror show. No matter how many times Gigi stood there, waiting to be launched down the steep throat and into the spinning, spiraling slide, she still got awful butterflies at the thought of it. There was only one more person in front of her, and then she would have to go, and the worst part was waiting for the safety-guard to rise and for the beep to sound and for her to be launched down that deep, dark tunnel like a rocket into space.
The person in front of her was thrown down the slide, a scream rising from their throat like cold murder. Gigi shuffled forward, grimacing at the ride’s technical controller who offered her a sympathetic smile. Why do people make these things? Who wants to be scared out of their wits while being sling-shotted into a dark, amniotic chamber full of echoing sounds and slick, red walls? What is this fascination with knowing what it’s like to possibly be swallowed by a giant whale or something? Why are people so intensely entertained by—
“Fuck!” Her hands scrambled for purchase as she was propelled forward, the ride making a terrible screeching sound as the plastic slid against the slide. The skulls leered at her from every turn, the disgusting laughing sound that seemed to have been recorded in the pits of purgatory itself cheering her on from the speakers hidden in the walls. Gigi shrieked, the sound echoing off the walls and bouncing through the chamber along side her.
She could almost see Crystal now, sitting on her lifeguard chair, peering down the tunnel to see whether Gigi would get stuck inside the exit. “A lot of people get stuck on that part, y’know,” The older woman had told her once. “It’s a structural defect. But most people find it hilarious and it adds to the experience, so they don’t fix it.”
Gigi hadn’t had the heart to tell her that most people probably also appreciate the sight of Crystal climbing up to get them, pole in hand, to poke them out of position. Crystal - narrow yet broad, big yet small, a mess of contradictions and odd features and little flaws brought together into the perfect person. Gigi could hardly believe she wasn’t a fever dream.
The redhead’s sunglasses were bright green and heart-shaped that day, reflecting the afternoon sun and doing wonders for her tan skin. Gigi barely had time to glimpse before she fell right out of her floatie and straight into the pool, the splash sound reverberating through the water. She went under and spluttered for a while, bright blue in her eyes and burning water in her throat, before familiar arms dragged her out and greeted her with a tight embrace.
“You never stick the landing right,” Crystal hummed, looking down at her through a teasing smile, “Hi, Gigi.”
“Hey,” The younger woman replied breathlessly, holding up a weak thumbs up. “What’s shaking?”
“You tell me,” The taller woman raised an eyebrow teasingly, “Pretty nasty fall you had today, looked like you were about to cry.”
Gigi pushed the hair out of her eyes, trying to appear dignified, “Are you making fun of me?” Crystal’s eyes widened, shaking her head frantically.
“No!” The taller woman assured, hands flurrying to deny the statement, “You looked graceful, almost! Very pretty. Do people ever tell you how pretty you are? Because I think so.” She spoke very quickly, that heavy accent dripping honey-like into every word, and Gigi could hardly catch what she was saying. That was endearing too. Crystal’s lashes fluttered excitedly. “You’re really something, Geege.”
The brunette peered at her, trying to make out if all of this had a layer of hilarity to it. The redhead didn’t look like she was joking, just gazed at Gigi happily - so earnest and serious, eyes round and lamp-like, a one thousand kilowatt smile. Skin all supple and tan and pretty, hair drawn back from her face, standing there knee-deep in chlorinated water fangirling over her. Her big, bubbly lifeguard crush. Gigi sort of just really wanted to kiss her head.
She cleared her throat. “I thought it must look kinda weird, falling off every time I get on this ride,”
“No, it isn’t! You look cool, dramatic. You look like an actress.”
“Really?”
“Really. Your clothes look cool, too. I love your swimsuit!.” Crystal beamed, gesturing down at Gigi’s white lace bikini. Her hands were still resting on Gigi’s shoulders, big palms squeezing gentle, so soft that a butterfly couldn’t get away with it. “You should be confident.”
“I am.”
“That’s good, then.” The redhead licked her lips - a quick pink swipe, leaving her mouth glossier still. “Wow, I can’t believe I know someone so gorgeous. It’s
awesome.”
Crystal smile was pearly and bright, starry-eyed, mouth that cool blush tone that reminded the brunette of fresh strawberries and fluffy blankets. “That’s pretty lame,” Gigi laughed, cheeks getting warmer by the second.
“Five people have gotten stuck since morning,” The lifeguard grinned, “One was this girl, she screamed the funniest things ‘till I got her out of there, you should have heard it. Sometimes I think people hate this ride. They do it once because it’s so famous and everyone wants to look cool, but they secretly can’t stand it.”
Gigi glanced back at the Vortex and shivered, her heart still pounding from the twists and jumps of the tunnels packed inside. All of what the taller had just said applied to her, too, but she’d left out the one variable that kept bringing her back.
She wondered if Crystal knew what she looked like.
“You come back, though,” The redhead observed, peering around Gigi in preparation for the next person screaming their way through the stone chamber. “You seem to love this ride. You must be a really brave person.”
Gigi chuckled weakly, her stomach flipping. “I like to live dangerously,” She lied through her teeth.
“Yeah?” Crystal lit up. “So do I! I’ve been wanting to go to the summer festival so bad. There’s this crazy roller-coaster this year, did you see it?”
She’d seen it. She’d seen it many, many times, all over her Instagram feed no matter how many times she told the app she was Not. Interested. It was a monstrous thing, must be the size of two baseball pitches, at least three times what the vortex was. Just looking at it had been enough to make her want to melt into the floor, so of course Crystal was absolutely enamored by it.
“They brought it in from Australia or something. I keep asking Jaida to come with me, but she says she’s scared, which is weird because normally she’s good with this stuff-“
Sometime in between Crystal opening her mouth and closing it, Gigi had begun to nod violently. She’s not sure when it started, but her mouth twisted into a warming smile. It felt like she was no longer in control of her own voice as she hummed, “I can go with you, if you want.”
The redhead looked at her, wide-eyed, a little daze of possibility sparking in her gaze. “Really?” She asked, and then frowned skeptically. “I mean you don’t really know me, and I wouldn’t want to pressure you..”
“I’d love to go, promise,” Gigi beamed, earnest. “I - uh - I love roller-coasters. Who doesn’t?”
“Right.” Crystal brightened, cheeks puffing up from her wide smile. Excitement made her look soft, even softer, actually, lit her up from the inside like a little doll that smiles when you push at its tummy. Gigi heard a swoosh of blood rushing in her ears. “What reason is there to be scared? You go on the thing, you have the time of your life, you feel alive. You know?”
The brunette could think of at least five hundred reasons to be scared. “Alive.” She mumbled, clenching her jaw, “Alive. Yep.”
The lifeguard giggled happily. “When do you want to go?”
There was a little kick in Gigi’s gut, a last ditch attempt to get her out of something she knew she shouldn’t be doing. “W-whenever. I’m free…Monday night?” Too bad, she had done it anyway.
Crystal near vibrated in excitement, bouncing on the heels of her toes. “Okay! Okay. Monday night. I’ll meet you there.” Her eyes twinkled, round pupils gazing into Gigi’s more piercing ones, and the younger woman felt as though she was going to faint yet again.
The splash of someone else landing in the pool startled them both, a quiet scream following it from underwater. The redhead shot her an apologetic look, - gotta go now - and padded her way over to the flailing person, warm-voiced and gentle and smiling as she helped them up.
The brunette climbed out of the pool, looking back once, and then started to move towards a different ride before she made another decision she’d regret.
“Geege!” Crystal called, waving dramatically back at her, “Monday, don’t forget. It’s a date!”
Gigi nearly stumbled into a bush.
***
In all matters not involving math, scary rides, and one particular tan-skin lifeguard, Georgina Goode was very competent.
She made and designed clothing, with some help from Nicky. She liked to cook, and she liked living alone, and she liked women. She liked some fun with her sense of organization, too, so on most weekends that she didn’t have to work, she ended up in a club with Jan.
“Cute girl at eight o’clock,” The blonde slurred, happily pulling Gigi this way and that in vaguely the rhythm of whatever song was being played, “She’s been looking at you all night.”
She turned to look, but it was like her mind’s eye had shrunk to develop an omnipotent focus only on Crystal. Her gaze found the new girl and slipped away quickly, disinterested. She turned back to Jan with a shrug. “Not my type.”
“Oh, you have a type now?” The older woman’s smile was knowing, “The type that makes you go on scary rides? Loud, smiley, tan?”
Gigi shook her head, groaning, “I’m going with her to the autumn festival tomorrow.”
Jan’s eyes went wide, stopping in her tracks and mouth gaping wide, “Really? You finally asked her out? Lifeguard Crystal?!”
The music changed, some pop anthem, and Jan lit up and tugged on Gigi’s arm to pull her further into the dance floor. The brunette grinned and shimmied closer. She liked dancing with Jan, because Jan was the rare breed of person who’d recite all the properties of antibiotics or whatever she was studying at nursing school while performing a slut-drop. Jan never made things weird. Even then, she was probably contemplating Gigi’s potential future with “Lifeguard Crystal” as she swayed her hips enthusiastically to the rap music.
“Well, she’s not bad looking, I guess.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Fine, fine. She’s fucking hot. Like. Ridiculously hot.”
“That’s more like it.”
Jan’s brows creased, offering a sympathetic smile. “But you don’t know her very well, babe.”
“I know her better than that girl over there you were suggesting I take home.”
“Fair point,” The blonde frowned, reaching around Gigi to grab her drink from the table. “But what if she’s…Oh, fuck it. Enjoy your date with Crystal. She of the life-giving mouth and tiny blue shorts. Just be safe, okay?”
“Yeah, well,” Gigi hesitated, dry-mouthed, ignoring the patronizing tilt of the older woman’s head. “I don’t think this date is ending that way.”
The blonde narrowed her eyes, “Why? What are you two doing?” She asked skeptically, downing a sip of her vibrantly coloured cocktail.
She took a deep breath, “Going on the roller coaster at the summer festival.”
Jan spat out her drink, looking back at the younger woman with eyes the size of saucers. “What?” She spluttered, loud enough that club goers around her startled and looked in their direction. “Have you seen that thing? It’s monstrous. It’s abominable. It’s an absolute atrocity, Gigi.”
“We want to feel alive.”
“You sound really dead right now.”
“I know.” She sighed, hiding her face behind her palms, “She just, Crystal, she’s… special, y’know? I want to impress her so bad, it’s insane,”
“Of course you do.” Jan put her small hand to Gigi’s jaw, furrowing her brows. The younger woman leaned into it, taking a deep breath. “God, it’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Maybe I just need to see her out of those shorts for once. Break the spell.”
The blonde shook her head. “It’s bad,” she whispered, nodding to herself and patting Gigi’s cheek gently. “So bad.”
“Janet,” the brunette whispered hoarsely, “How much do I need to pay for you to come to the summer festival and drag my body away if I die on this thing?”
***
On Sunday evening when Crystal messaged her to ask are we still on? with a flurry of heart emojis and a mermaid, the brunette didn’t have the slightest idea of how to respond.
She scowled at her phone for a minute. Yes? She typed, and then deleted the question mark. She wasn’t a stumbling middle school girl with a painful crush on a senior way out of her league. She was smart. She was confident.
She could do this.
Yes, she sent, and then couldn’t bare to look at the phone for a while. Crystal’s reply wasn’t much to go on when she finally gained the courage to peek.
“Cool,” The brunette read aloud, turning the word about in her mouth to gauge its true meaning. “Cool.” She pouted at the lack of any smiley faces.
She let it go. Ran late anyway because she kept looking at pictures of that roller coaster and having mini heart-attacks. There was a chain lift and a steep drop and many, many points where both the contents of Gigi’s stomach and her heart were likely to leap out of her mouth.
Still. She could do this. She wasn’t a baby, she rode the Vortex of Death every week - she could do this.
Crystal’s hair was ruffled in the wind when Gigi finally caught up to her, already smelling of daffodils and ice-cream. She was finally out of those fucking shorts too, dressed all pretty in a yellow sundress and patterned necktie, still with that soft-shine balm glossing up her lips in a more shimmery colour this time. She wore round glasses, pushed up to the top of her head and intertwining with her red curls, with bunches of colourful bracelets decorating both hands. She looked straight out of a painting, maybe a character escaped from the most beautiful art museum and on the run through the summer festival.
“You look - you look nice,” Gigi stuttered, all verklempt, and Crystal beamed back with her eyes scrunched up.
“You too! There’s a penguin pin on your shirt.”
Gigi looked down, almost gasping at the sight of said penguin pin in the middle of her pale blue blouse. She hadn’t meant to wear that one, but by some psychobabble-subconscious-wizardry, she’d still managed it. It’s even a dancing penguin.
“Oh,” she chuckled, feeling slightly sick.
“It’s cute.” Crystal poked a finger at it, all easy, like all her dates turned up wearing penguins on their shirts. Gigi jolted back in surprise, shocked at the sudden contact. The redhead laughed and stuck her hands in her pockets, “Sorry. Should we go find the line for the roller-coaster?”
The younger woman squirmed a little, grimacing, “Y-Yeah,” she replied, finally, “I guess so.”
The festival was pretty and thrumming, all glimmering blue lights and palm trees, smell of tropical fruit and salt water, luau music. There was smoke and surfboards and the luster of gaudy-pretty streamers, fluttering silver and aqua and yellow. Spots of glitter constellated on Crystal’s cheeks like freckles whenever she looked up.
“I love the summer festival,” The redhead muttered in awe. “Where I grew up the carnivals were smaller than this, but it was my favorite time of the year.”
Gigi only spent the first minute feeling clammy-palmed and sick with worry, because Crystal turned out to be a ridiculously excitable person. Five steps into the festival and her hand came tight down on her wrist, dragging her off because puppies, oh my god, they have puppies, and Gigi went along because what the fuck, she liked puppies too.
The air was caramel-thick and the close press of bodies made the space hot. Crystal watched the puppies jump through loops with wet lashes and a beatific expression, fingers itching forward to grab, to hold. Gigi cooed at a fluffy poodle with curly gray fur and liquid eyes. The older woman pet the top of its head, looking overwhelmed. “I miss my dog,” she whispered quiet, and Gigi felt the sweetness in that sentiment all the way to the tips of her toes.
In some time she asked, a bit hopefully, “Are we going to stay with the puppies forever?” She wanted the answer to be yes, fuck the rollercoaster. Spending the night getting ice cream and playing with dogs sounded much better to her.
Crystal blinked, “Oh,” she shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly, “Sorry. We should go.”
Gigi would’ve much rather stayed. But she dug this grave for himself, and now there was really no choice but to lie in it. She did manage to distract Crystal a little more on the way, which wasn’t much considering Crystal was extremely easy to distract.The brunette only had to wave her arms and say look over there for the tan woman to wildly pick any random direction and find something to look at. They inspected the painted surfboards and wander through a maze of mirrors. They buy a weird little ship in a bottle that Crystal randomly fell in love with. They followed loud pew-pew sounds into a neon-lit, temporarily constructed arcade, where the lifeguard demolished Gigi in some annoying car race game. There were Pokemon in the arcade claw machines that they spent a few minutes trying to win.
“I like Pokemon,” Crystal grinned, and she filed that away, thought of herself saying it to her friends - my girlfriend likes Pokemon. The redhead was focused, tongue peeking out the corner of her lips and eyes narrowed as she navigated the claw. “I have a lot of these”
“I think they’re cute.”
“You do?”
Gigi faulted, colour rushing time her cheeks. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t think you were the type of person to like plushies.”
“What type of person did you think I was?”
Crystal shrugged, not looking away from the claw. “Very cool.”
“Oh.”
The older woman didn’t  seem very bothered by this change in perception but Gigi was, she wanted to clarify, the itch to make herself clear rising and suffocating her until it came out in a fast rush. “My friend says liking soft things doesn’t make you any less any less cool.”
Crystal glanced up, leaning forward to pat Gigi’s chest lightly. Weirdly, when she did it, it wasn’t patronizing at all. Just Crystal letting you know it’s fine. “It makes you more cool, I think.”
“Cooler,” She corrected, feeling her insiders shrivel up at her lameness. “Not more cool, cooler. I mean—that is—never mind.”
Gigi felt like a little moth drawn to a lamp - herself the moth, night-black and dirty with lies. Crystal’s the lamp, warm and sparkly like Christmas stars and fairy lights and she is so gone.
***
The Hurricane Dominator was exactly as Jan said: an atrocity. It climbed steep above the rest of the festival, and just the one visible loop of it made Gigi want to find the nearest trashcan to hurl into. It looped and curled and the cart practically hung suspended upside down at some point. She felt the integral parts of her system begin to shut down already, but Crystal rocked back on her feet, eyes wide and fists clenched, a soft wow shaping her mouth into a little O.
When they got closer, it was obvious that the line stretched all the way around the festival. Crystal’s face dropped a little. “That’s a long queue.”
Gigi tried not to let the relief show on her face. She tugged gently at the taller woman’s sleeve. “Maybe we should go on the smaller rides.”
“No, I can probably bribe someone into letting us cut the line.”
And she proceeded to do just that. Gigi stood back, slack-jawed, watching as Crystal walked up to a random guy and started promising him enough money for burgers and a drink. She threw in the little Pikachu, too, pressing it to the guy’s chest in that universal bro-thing where you slap the shit out of the other dude as hard as possible. The guy grinned and hi-fives her, proceeding to give Crystal her number, and then he and his girlfriend walked right out of the line leaving space for the older woman and Gigi.
“That guy was nice,” The lifeguard smiled, off-hand, when Gigi rushed to join her. “He has a restaurant near the water park. Said he’d give me dumplings on discount if I go there.”
The brunette huts his mouth quickly, trying to hide her astonishment.  “Do you.. is that how the world usually works for you?”
“What do you mean?” Crystal asked. “Oh. Yeah, I make friends fast! But look, we’re right at the front now.”
Gigi could feel herself start to sweat. Panic crawled up her spine, many-legged like spiders, locking up her muscles and breaking out of her in little shivers. She occupied herself with the mole on Crystal’s nose while she chattered happily about previous roller-coasters she’d tried. “There’s a TV show on an Australian channel that’s only about theme parks,” The redhead was babbling happily. Gigi really had to lean in to hear her over the death-screams of the people riding the Hurricane Dominator. “That’s how many theme parks they have. That’s my dream job.”
“Working in an Australian theme-park?”
“No. Having a show about theme-parks.”
“You must really like theme-parks.”
“I like all the rides except that thing that does the vertical drop,” Crystal muttered. “I’m scared of those ones.”
Gigi was scared of everything. As a kid, she was scared of the fucking monkey bars in the neighborhood’s jungle gym. Now that she was older she was afraid of spiders, snakes, foreclosure, unpaid credit cards, roller-coasters, ghosts, and her own truth. If she didn’t get on this thing, how is she going to tell Crystal what she was doing visiting the Vortex of Death multiple times? She imagined that conversation: I think you’re hot, so I took the death-ride twenty-one times so you could pull me out of the pool. How’s that for a meet-cute? Her palms felt clammy and sweat beaded on her brow.
The discomfort must’ve shown on her face, because Crystal asked, suddenly, “Are you okay?”
Gigi felt her soul slowly edge its way out of her body. “What?”
“You look pale. Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?”
She managed to hold her tongue through climbing onto their seats, and even pulled the safety-guard down. The older woman hummed contentedly, ready to go, and turned her head to look at Gigi. Her face fell so abruptly it was like she’d decelerated from mach speed to zero.
“Hey, uhm,” Crystal hesitated, eyes nervous and twitchy, “you look really faint.”
“I feel—I feel like I might,” Gigi flinched at the sound of the rollercoaster creaking, “You know.”
“What?”
“Faint.”
The redhead wriggled a little in her seat. “Do you want to get off? We can get off. We don’t have to-“
“No, no, you wanted to do this.”
“I don’t want to do it if you’re scared,” Crystal whispers, eyebrows furrowing, “There are other rides. We can go on that Twisterado thing - or the Space Pistols-“
The brunette giggled, a bit hysterically.  “I’m scared of all the rides”
“You’re not scared of the Vortex,” Crystal said authoritatively, reaching out to pat Gigi’s thigh. “You love that ride.”
And it was at that moment - with that syrupy-orangey light still playing on Crystal’s skin, with her brows on display and confusion clearly written on her face - that Gigi realized she really couldn’t do this. She couldn’t ride this roller-coaster. She was going to fucking die. All the energy sapped out of her, siphoned through some invisible port and fed to the demonic force that powered the ride.
“I’m fucking terrified of the Vortex,” Gigi gasped, death-bed-confession heavy. “I have nightmares about that thing. When I die and go to hell, all they’ll need to torture me is to make me go on that thing again and again, get me stuck in the bottom every single time, and—”
The tan woman looked like a confused puppy. “What are you talking about? You keep coming back to go on it.”
“Yeah, well.”
“I see you literally every week.”
She shuddered. “Crystal,” he says. “I only go on it because I get - I get to see you.”
The lifeguard looked flabbergasted, eyes the size of saucers and mouth gaping wide. She opened her mouth, like she wanted to say something, and then pursed it shut again. “What?”
Gigi looked at her shoes miserably. “I only g-go on the Vortex of Death because of you. Because you–uh, you save me, and you’re cute, and I…like seeing you.”
Crystal blinked violently, head tilted, puzzlement spilled scatter-shot across her features. But now they were moving, the roller-coaster slowly pulling backward,  and she could feel all of her insides clench up in horrific anticipation of what was to come.
“I know it’s pathetic,” Gigi mumbled, hating how small she sounded. The redhead still wasn’t saying anything. Crystal was probably too nice to say how lame this was.  The brunette wanted the ride to start so her soul could fly out of her body and take her out of the older woman’s range. “It’s so pathetic. I’m sorry.”
Crystal took in a shuddering breath. She opened her mouth again.
And then, with loud music and a horrible tug at Gigi’s stomach - the ride began.
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sodalitefully · 3 years
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Enter freely and of your own will [GNR, Sluff AU]
I know, I know, I've written vampire AUs before… Several times.  But I had to write something about what a nerd Slash is for vampire fiction!  Mostly inspired by interviews Slash gave after gnr covered Sympathy For The Devil for Interview With A Vampire (so any digs at the movie adaptation are based on Slash’s opinion, not mine – I’ve never seen it!).  Occasional mentions of blood and stuff, but not particularly graphic.  This fic is expanding on an AU I originally drew here.
~~~~
In my mind, it all played out like the plot of a paranormal romance novel.  I’ve gotten familiar with those lately, thanks to the collection hidden in the bottom shelves of Slash’s library, buried below the gothic horror classics, the crime thrillers, and about a mountain of nonfiction.  Hell, I could probably write my own!  “Tall blonde unexpectedly falls for rock and roll bad boy with a dark secret,” yeah, the readers would eat that up.  Of course, our love story didn’t really start when the unsuspecting protagonist moved to a new city, or when the leather-clad love interest showed off his supernatural shredding skills.  No, I’d say it started a couple years later, when I found out Slash’s other deep, dark, embarrassing secret.   
It wasn’t a dark and stormy night… but it was a movie night at my place, a tradition for Slash and I.  Whenever we needed a break from the so-called rockstar lifestyle, we’d get together for a night in, smoke some pot and put on a movie. Slash laid back on my couch while I dug through a cabinet packed with VHS tapes and listed off a few options: 
“Let’s see, we have Jurassic Park, Alien, Interview With a Vampire – Uh, sorry, I guess that would be weird huh?”  Slash made a sour face. 
“Ugh.  I hate that movie, it’s such a bad adaptation. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, seriously?” 
“Wait,” I dropped The Empire Strikes Back and Blazing Saddles onto the growing heap of tapes and sat back on my heels to look at Slash in surprise. "You’ve seen it before?” 
“Uh…” Vampires may not be able to blush but I'd known Slash long enough to tell when he’s flustered.   
“And you’ve read the book?” 
“… Yes?”  I laughed, Slash ducked and hid his face, obviously feeling self-conscious, but I didn’t mean to laugh at him.  It was just… 
I’d assumed that a real-life vampire would roll their eyes at the cliche, over-romanticized movie interpretations of their kind.  Instead, I learned of Slash’s (nearly) indiscriminate love for all things vampire, anything from Carmilla to Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  He was a sucker (hah, get it?) for dripping fangs, swishing capes, even those crazy accents, ever since he was a kid.  And I can’t lie, it was pretty endearing.  I wasn’t in love with him yet, but the more he told me about his obsession, the more warm and tingly I felt, charmed by how genuine he was – Hell, I barely even teased him about it!  Somehow, that conversation felt even more personal than finding out he was a damn vampire.  I was really touched that he felt comfortable sharing his interests with me, that he trusted me with his softer, nerdier, more romantic side.   
I resisted the temptation to press for more details that night, but a month or so later, I caught him in the act!  I remember waking up in the afternoon after crashing at his place so late it was early the night before.  I wandered around his big, spooky house until I found Slash curled up in one of his fancy antique armchairs, his legs dangling over the armrest and a paperback book cradled in his lap.  I couldn’t make out the curlicued script on the cover, but from the captivated look on his face it was a favorite – his eyes were bright as they darted across the page, and his lips curled into a warm, gentle smile. 
I couldn’t stand to disturb him, so I snuck off before he noticed me in the doorway, and headed down the hall to the room he’d transformed into a tiny library – The man had a library in his house; between that and the subtly gothic decor it was hard to believe I never noticed that Slash was playing up the vampire aesthetic, consciously or not!  Anyway, I poked around until I found where he hid his collection of vampire lit, and snatched a few that were, shall we say, not quite as acclaimed as Dracula or even The Vampire Chronicles.  I don’t remember the titles, but there were a couple paperback romances and a horror novel with a badass-looking dude on the cover. 
I had to see what all the fuss was about, you know?  Yeah, this kind of thing wasn’t exactly up my alley, but Slash usually had good taste, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to check it out.  Plus, if it was important to Slash, I wanted to know about it!  And not just the well-known classics either; I wanted the guilty pleasures, I wanted to see what it was that could make Slash smile like that when no one was watching. 
I’ll be honest, it wasn’t bad.  I wasn’t a big reader at the time, but I raced through the horror novel in just two days, and trust me, I barely slept the night in between!  The trashy romance was more enjoyable than I would ever admit; even with all the cliches and melodrama there was something compelling about unraveling the tangled web of forbidden love in a world full of the supernatural. 
At this point, I was very cautiously beginning to entertain the idea that I might see Slash as more than just a buddy and a bandmate.  As friends, were were closer than ever, hardly spent a day apart, and I was beginning to notice things that I hadn’t noticed before.  Things like the way he always smiled at my lame jokes, the way he leaned on my shoulder when he was pretending to be drunk, the way he tossed his hair on stage… And I couldn’t help wondering whether Slash identified more with the heroine or the love interest.  Did he want to be the cool, mysterious vampire lover, or the unsuspecting protagonist who gets drawn into an alluring new world? 
I got my answer a couple months later, in town again after a leg on the road. It was a steaming hot summer day back in L.A., and Slash was dozing on his couch. This wasn’t unusual in and of itself, Slash’s sleep schedule had been fucked for as long as I'd known him. No, what made this instance significant was that I was also on the couch, reclined with my feet over the armrest and Slash draped across my chest. Tales From The Crypt played at a murmur on a brand-new TV set, but I wasn’t paying any attention. 
See, at this point I’d recently learned that, when Slash focused hard enough, he could hear a living person’s blood pulsing in their veins and detect changes in body temperature.  And that had me wondering: Could he tell that my heart beat faster when he leaned against me on stage?  Could he tell that my ears got warm every time he turned a smile my way? 
Could he tell how much I was affected by his weight on top of me?   
He was like a huge cat in my lap, relaxed from head to toe.  If you paid attention, you could tell that he was breathing more slowly that an ordinary human should be and his bare skin was slightly cool.  Other than that he looked completely normal… Except for his teeth.  His mouth was slightly open, allowing his pointed, knife-sharp teeth to scrape against his lower lip. 
To Slash’s chagrin, they weren't gleaming white, perfectly straight fangs; instead they more closely resembled a shark’s jaw, crowded with small flesh-tearing blades.  It was rare to see them exposed, Slash was careful to limit himself to tight-lipped smiles and mumbled dialogue whenever his secret was at risk. Even in private he was self-conscious about it, and I considered myself lucky when he grinned openly in my presence. 
“Hey, Slash?”   
“…Hmm?” Languidly, he shifted until he was looking up at me.  Midafternoon sun leaked through the blinds brightly enough for me to make out a hint of red in his eyes, the other (un)dead giveaway that was usually obscured by his sedately lidded gaze.   
"You know how you said the other day that you have really strong senses? Well... I was wondering what other, uh, non-human traits you have. How true are the myths about vampires, really?” 
“Well… Hm.  My eyes are pretty sensitive to daylight.  And technically I’m nocturnal.  But I don’t have fangs, I don’t really look like a vampire and I don’t have superpowers.” I swear to god, he pouted a little.  "All things considered I didn’t really get any of the cool stuff." 
“No super-strength?  Or mind reading? Can you shapeshift into a bat?” 
“Don’t you think I’d tell you if I could turn into a bat?  At least I don’t have any of those stupid weaknesses, I can be in the sun and eat garlic and whatever.” He paused ponderously. “…You know, I might be immortal, I was around a long time before Tony and Ola took me in.  Guess I’ll find out in a few decades.” 
“That would be pretty cool.” 
“Yeah, maybe." 
“So... do you enthrall your victims?” I prodded, in a spooky, menacing voice belied by my goofy grin. 
Slash snorted a laugh and shook his head at my antics. “No, I can’t do that either.  Well, I don’t know, do you feel enthralled?” 
I laughed awkwardly and counted my blessings when Slash didn't notice that my unspoken answer was an empathetic Yes. 
Slash chuckled with me, then sighed.  “Fuck, I wish vampires like that were real, though…” he confessed softly. 
“Like what?” 
“You know, badass, seductive, awesome powers…” He waved a hand toward a pinup poster on the wall with a corset and fangs, then let his head fall back to my chest.  He mumbled into my shirt, “Is it really so much to ask for a sexy vampire to come and sweep me off my feet?” 
“Slash, I hate to tell you this, but…” I couldn’t make it through the sentence with a straight face. 
He swatted my bicep – pretty hard too, was he sure he didn’t have super-strength? “Fuck you, Duff, you know what I mean." 
And, yeah, dreaming of being wooed by a beautiful, badass, intelligent and darkly mysterious vampire?  Who appeared in my life and changed it forever, who blew me away with his capability and his passion?  Who could captivate me with just a look? 
Yeah. Believe me, I could relate.
~~~~
Happy Halloween! 
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