#anyways. god. weird as fuck to be done but my final message 2 the world.. play volfoss 2001
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Final version of the Volfoss guide/unit guide download link here (dropbox, if you need an alt download just message me :]).
The guide includes:
Full, line by line, translation/transcription of the story and 5 endings
An in depth character list with image descriptions for each character and the in game gallery descriptions (as well as some of my own for the characters that were either very minor or did not have them in the gallery for spoiler reasons) translated and transcribed
An in depth unit list with image descriptions for each unit as well as the in game gallery description translated and transcribed
Full, in depth descriptions of each menu and battle strategies
Every single side quest (over 50!) with full information and strategies on most of them (the only ones that don't have them are the ones that are very easy and self-explanatory)
A 5 page table of contents that will navigate to any quest, any side quest with ease
A complete list of every item, taken straight from the manual
A complete list of locations with the in game descriptions translated and transcribed, as well as a handy table to show which locations are under which government system
A (very long) gem combination table that makes the otherwise complicated system a lot simpler to use
The unit guide transcribed into a handy spreadsheet from the physical in game format, so it's very easy to see what enemies do what and which units you may want on your team
Misc Links:
Manual and Map scans here (not including the unit guide scans as they scanned in pretty badly)
The .cue/.bin files to run it on Retroarch (or any emulator of your choice, just scroll down to get the files labelled Volfoss (Japan), it's an archive.org link)
#twist rambles#sorry i am not putting this on google docs it fucks the formatting up soo bad lmao#volfoss#<- maintagging this <3 but im finally done lmao#♟#ok to rb#<- in fact please do :) ill be queueing this for a few days bc well. 2.5 months of work. i want it to be seen lol. and ill ofc make a post#when its all up on gamefaqs. its all the same info just slightly different formatting :)#anyways. god. weird as fuck to be done but my final message 2 the world.. play volfoss 2001#and if u have any questions on how to emulate/get it set up PLEASE come talk to me. just remember to get a jp bios for the emulator ok :)
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Villain Hunt Arc Meta: All For One’s Horrific Guide to Methodically Breaking Down Your Local OFA Holder
Ft. Turning the ‘Overpoweredness’ of OFA into a Setback, and AFO’s Successful Manipulations Of Midoriya Izuku
In which I also give AFO too much credit for all the pain he’s probably caused, and theorize that his plans to break Izuku actually started getting enacted even before he’d escaped Tartarus.
(A.k.a. me loving the angst because this is really good angst writing, but also hating it because the manga doesn’t come with a Angst with A Happy Ending tag unless you count Izuku’s ‘this is the story of how I became the greatest hero’ which isn’t really a guarantee of happiness )
So. What an arc! In the span of ten chapters (starting from the end of the War arc) Hori delivered a full-on Villain-looking, Vigilante Midoriya Izuku. Congratulations, Horikoshi, for finally introducing Akatani Mikumo!
The fast pacing and lack of breather panels are so fitting for this arc truly. AFO never gave them a moment’s rest. Yes, from henceforth as he’d promised... It’s always going to be his turn.
Izuku is making amazing progress with unlocking the full power of One For All. In his words, his abilities might as well already be on par with what a healthier All Might could do, and with no recoil to boot. Plus, there’s only one last quirk to unlock. For villain fights, I don’t think we need to worry about him losing, or him breaking anymore bones at this time.
Which, some might argue, makes Izuku too ‘OP.’
To start with, I want to talk first about the ‘overpoweredness’ of the One For All quirk. It’s a wonderful quirk truly, having inspired and amazed so many because of its sheer power. Used well, it could grant instant victories and restore the people’s wavering faith to the heroes. Because with a quirk like that on your side, everything’s going to be alright, right? There’s always gonna be that bit of hope that something is still strong enough to stand against the looming evil...right?
Yeah. That’s what the people who’d lived under All Might’s Era of Peace thought so too. History repeats.
OFA’s ‘OP-ness’ is both a great blessing and a great burden.
Here are some points on how the narrative has made OFA's 'overpoweredness' a setback:
1. All For One—that bastard—exploits the urge that comes with OFA. Just as ‘AFO the quirk’s’ goal is to steal OFA, OFA’s job is to defeat AFO, and Izuku is sacrificing himself to its cause.
Here’s another thing I want to point out: The conclusion that the heroes drew about AFO planning to capture Midoriya Izuku alive? In rereading, I’m starting to believe it’s nothing but a mere assumption of his plans. Aside from the deal made with Lady Nagant—of which I think AFO didn’t take seriously anyway and set her up for failure— (and while we as readers are already aware of his true intentions to wear Izuku down) it’s weird that nowhere had AFO directly mentioned to Izuku that he’s going to kidnap him and take his quirk from him.
2. OFA made Izuku so brilliant (e.g. Pros and former Pros alike going “This kid...”) that they really can't help but place all their hopes on him. Sighs. In an ideal world, this would be a dream come true of Izuku getting his due credit for all his heroic achievements Pro heroes have started to do to Izuku what they’ve done all their lives to All Might--which is to put him on the pedestal, while they fall back to cover him like guards/safety net. Hence, falling back to the One Pillar Model mindset.
3. OFA makes Izuku untouchable, not only to the villains, but also to his allies. Prime material to reinforce isolation. And if Izuku doesn't want to be caught, he won't make it easy for either side.
4. OFA IS SUS AF, OKAY? What are the Holders doing?! While gaining access to them makes it easier and convenient to have personal trainers in handling OFA, the vestiges prove to add a lot to Izuku’s mental load. If they’d allowed Izuku to come to the point of being caked with blood and filth, they’re not doing very well at guiding him. Realize that most of their arc interactions with Izuku is Quirk Talk. They, of all people, should know how AFO’s machinations work! Hey First, for the love of god, warn Izuku! He’s showing so many signs of being manipulated that you should be picking up on. please /sobs ;;
Tbf, like, I’m pretty sure that the Holders haven’t been as mentally okay either, which would feed into Izuku’s current mindset.
Now that the setbacks have been listed, let’s dive in to AFO’s plans to toy with Midoriya Izuku.
PHASE 1: Pre-Tartarus Breakout
Speaking of OFA being sus, there’s something that has been niggling at the back of my mind.
All For One basically tells Izuku: “You were my main interest that entire time I was in prison”. So, to pass the time in Tartarus (since he can’t use any(?) of his quirks), AFO has been doing nothing but apparently daydreaming and designing a personal hell for the Ninth Holder during that entire period. HOWEVER, it also made me wonder…
…Even before he’d broken out, had AFO made any moves at all in enacting his plans to break Izuku?
Yeah?
And here’s the kicker: he says that before Blackwhip bursted out.
AFO is a master manipulator. Assuming that Izuku doesn’t have any latent AFO quirk (for whatever reason *coughs* maybe dfo if you're a believer) or that Quirk Singularity has anything to do with it, what is the trigger to Izuku suddenly having access to Blackwhip?
I’d argue that it is All For One himself.
Why? What’s his goal? If you notice during the Joint Training arc, Izuku is feeling pretty confident about his progress. He’s rather happy and feeling blessed, and he is making leaps and bounds with base power OFA.
AFO can’t have that. He can’t allow the Ninth Holder to become too emotionally stable, or else he’d have a stronger will. So by somehow activating Blackwhip, AFO makes Izuku feel like he hasn’t made any progress with his quirk at all. During the evaluations, Izuku mentions that he still needs a lot to work on, and while not all of it is visible, with the way he behaves, it’s pretty evident that his self-confidence has taken a rather large hit.
But, wait! If AFO had tampered with OFA during the JT arc, paving the way to unlocking the rest (like he’d also done during the War arc when he tried to ‘steal’ it then), then wouldn’t AFO be sabotaging himself since he’d be making Izuku a more formidable opponent?
Sure. Except that the quirks inside OFA are mostly useless when it comes to the mental part of the fighting. The only thing they’re useful for is for the current Holder to be able to play keep-away in the physical realm. And AFO could easily just find counters for those through his work on Tomura.
You know how else the situation becomes advantageous for AFO? With every quirk unlocked, Izuku’s goalposts keep on getting away from him, and Izuku will always feel like he isn’t ready or prepared enough. Izuku will push and push himself to master OFA to its fullest, to become more powerful, at the cost of his mental/emotional stability and physical wellbeing as he wears himself down.
And every time Izuku grew more powerful, and became more ‘OP,’ he is burdened with all the aforementioned setbacks that came with it. He could be the most powerful person in the world, but it’s all for naught if he doesn’t take care of himself. This plan is both a high risk and high reward on AFO’s part, and as of the moment, with a bloody Izuku staggering all over, AFO is visibly reaping these high rewards.
PHASE 2: Post-Tartarus Breakout
He’s going to toy with Izuku until Izuku fucking breaks. What follows is his series of actions that instills the desired responses from Midoriya Izuku. Let’s see how the master manipulator plays this game of chess, shall we?
Izuku’s plan: Reach out to villains and try to save them.
AFO’s counter: Kill off those who turn their back against villainy and/or acknowledge Izuku as a true hero.
Izuku’s resulting response: Stop reaching out to villains. Gain an instant victory and move on.
After all, what do you get when you block a hero from showing sympathy? You get an unfeeling living weapon.
---
Izuku’s plan: Work with the top pro heroes to bring down AFO.
AFO’s counter: Make plans that will serve to highlight how the top pros are just slowing Izuku down. (e.g. Making moves while it’s raining, so as to divide them, but also to bring out No. 1 Hero Endeavor’s "slowness" in the rain. Nope, I don’t think that’s a throwaway line at all.)
Izuku’s resulting response: Grows more reckless, often leading the charge.
---
Izuku’s plan: Track AFO down.
AFO’s counter: Lead them to dead-ends. Or when they do supposedly reach something, endanger them.
Izuku’s resulting response: His tunnel vision worsens, as he grows more desperate.
---
Izuku’s plan: All Might following him around is okay since it would help All Might from worrying so much, and Izuku could simultaneously keep an eye on and protect All Might.
AFO’s counters: There are a lot to really fuck with this bond, damn you AFO.
Taint that passing the torch memory of ‘You’re Next.’
Declare that All Might no longer interests him. Liar. He outright stated before that he’s one for keeping a grudge
Send another assassin to Izuku [Underlying Message: You yourself are a walking danger zone to those whom you dearly care for.]
Izuku’s resulting response:
Interpret that memory of ‘You’re Next’ as taking up the position of being AFO’s shiny new plaything, and therefore supposedly sparing All Might from the torment (Unfortunately, making Izuku push AM away is just part of the torment ;A;)
Think that AM is no longer in the direct line of fire as long as AFO focuses on Izuku
Finally, push his last line of morale support away, and completely isolate himself.
Btw, I wonder how All Might feels about Izuku using Nana's quirk to get away from him.
---
The suffering doesn’t end.
Izuku’s plan: Save people.
AFO’s counters: (possibly offscreen) Send more villains and assassins to torment Izuku some more with the knowledge that he can’t save them. Sending villains out also puts innocents in danger.
Izuku’s resulting response: He won’t stop for anything. He won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t slow down. He will always do his best to save as long as someone is in danger.
His body will keep on moving and moving and MOVING on its own.
---
All For One is very effective as a supervillain. He has managed to make the heroes think that his only goal is to capture Izuku alive for his quirk. He has Izuku right where he wants him: dancing to his tune at the palm of his hand, utterly toyed with, left with no escape in sight.
Psychologically vaulted.
.
.
.
PHASE 3
And so, if Izuku is being manipulated to drive himself further and further into self-destruction, what then is there left for All For One to do?
So much more. Because, my god, I think AFO has mastered the art of traumatizing the OFA Holders.
All For One once told All Might, “I will destroy all that you’ve protected.” And boy, is he delivering. He's definitely not done with AM btw.
First, he destroys All Might's image. And he is manipulating Izuku to drive himself to that point. To looking into his absolute worst.
And when that point arrives, AFO will hammer the final nail home.
Something like...
BEHOLD
JAPAN’S SYMBOL OF PEACE.
And oh, how it'll hurt. To see All Might's pride and joy be flaunted about as looking nothing like a hero to the masses, for him to be so utterly humiliated.
"See what I did to All Might's successor."
AFO will be banking upon the possibility that the angry masses will not want to be saved by whom they're tricked into viewing as someone that's the cause of all the pain. Izuku might have the willpower to stay true to his resolve, but with him on the verge of total breakdown, what would happen when he is shunned by the very people he is trying to help?
I once wrote a post about how the current events seem to be a bastardization of Izuku's wildest fantasies: he's working with the top pros, he has the most powerful quirk, and he's working with All Might (whom technically acts as a sidekick to him rn).
AFO has warped all that into a never-ending nightmare. And Izuku...
Izuku is really in need of saving.
Last thoughts:
Let me just say that it shouldn't be a competition about who gets to get through to Izuku. Right now, he’s gonna need all the help he can get, and it can’t be delivered by only one or two people. Saving Izuku is going to be a team effort, a solid support system that sees Izuku as their classmate/friend/student/actual person that they care about. And there’s sufficient space for that.
More hands reaching out means more chances to catch him if he falls.
#bnha#bnha 317#bnha manga#bnha analysis#bnha meta#all for one#afo#midoriya izuku#all might#toshinori yagi
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lavender latte: vi
(T (for now!))
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4 || chapter 5 || chapter 7 ||
masterlist
word count: 6.8k
finally. god.
warnings: none really! reader’s foot booted, but that’s about it.
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well. here we are. thank u to everyone for reading this sweet, sweet story. we’re not through it yet, but i’m happy to offer a meal with this chapter. enjoy lovies. beta’ed by the lovely love @keiqos.
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You had several problems after returning to your apartment from the hospital. One of your coworkers was nice enough to drive you and your things back, but quickly the niceties stopped and your vague hell began.
Exclusively being on crutches sucked. Navigating your apartment and trying to live somewhat normally was a massive pain. Even just showering was a task that sapped most of your energy. Standing one-legged and balancing made your body ache with a deep soreness, especially the first few days you returned.
This was not even to mention the unpleasant dreams you were having.
‘Unpleasant’ & ‘dreams’ were a nice way of putting it.
You could recall that during your first night in the hospital, one of your doctors told you of the possibility of experiencing a few post-traumatic symptoms. Considering how out of it you were at the time, it was unsurprising how you brushed it off.
The reality was much harder to ignore.
...
Cars revving.
Shouting.
Shattering—
Your eyes flashed open, chest heaving and brow covered in a fine sheen of sweat.
Fuck that.
It was the same dream, an obvious recreation of the stimuli of the event. Though it was scattered in your memory, the dreams made it horribly vivid and vibrant despite lacking detail. The sounds and smells of that day clung to you as you shook your head, forcing yourself into wakefulness.
Your comforter was thrown from your body, and you shivered as cold air rushed over you. As jarred as you were, you still swung your legs off the bed, readjusting your boot and your aching leg, half-heartedly glaring at your crutches.
Your apartment wasn’t terribly set up to get around with your limited mobility, but your difficulty functioning didn’t help your overall mental state. Everything was just harder with the boot on, and you did your best to work with it.
Being locked up in your apartment added to the hellishness of it. You were so used to the stimuli and social environment of the teashop, it felt like a cold water shock when you were confined to your home entirely alone except for your cats.
You could, of course, try and venture out into the world. But, it was still winter and the ice-covered sidewalks didn’t seem like the best place to try and crutch around.
Within the first day or two, you resigned yourself to your three-week fate of being holed up.
You had a laundry list of things you could do. Shows and movies to watch, places in your house to clean, your cats to pet, but—
You still had far too much time on your hands.
A lot of your newfound time in the first few days was spent on your back, leg propped up, and draped in ice bags, musing over Hawks.
Hawks.
Holy fuck.
You couldn’t avoid it, couldn’t stop it. Just thinking about him made every part of you swirl and thrum like you were listening to some sort of contently-chorded song and you were more than happy to play it on repeat until your ears bled. Maybe that feeling towards Hawks had always been there (it had), but now you accepted it and stopped holding yourself back as much.
You never thought the idea of someone squeezing your shoulder would send you into literal fits of giggles and butterflies, but boy, did it. Not to mention all of the careful touches and gentle words you two had shared in the aftermath of the attack, though the memories were hazy. What you did remember and cherish was the warmth of him, quirk activated or not. Each time you recalled it, your gut fluttered and your hands twitched.
Your ceiling was the most interesting place to look in your apartment. The plain texture was the perfect canvas to allow your memories of the sweet interactions the two of you had shared to play like comforting reruns. The commercial breaks of these daydreams were the texts exchanged between you and Hawks.
Keigo couldn’t stop thinking about you either.
It wasn’t as distracting as it once was, as he had been more liberal with letting himself text you. The high number of messages between the two of you was maybe ridiculous, but he was a fast texter and you seemed to have plenty of jokes and banter for him to share in.
As good as the texting was, it was also nice to check-in on you and your recovery. You seemed more annoyed than anything else, but Keigo wasn’t so much of an idiot as to think you weren’t in any pain or struggling at all. Though you didn’t explicitly tell him or show him, he was familiar with the pains of healing and could infer some things about your state.
Keigo tried to brighten your day as he could. ‘Hawks’ still had plenty of hero work to do, especially with the information extracted from the recently detained syndicate members. Despite this, he took as much time as he could to stop and send you little snippets and messages which hopefully would help you smile a little.
It did, of course. Just talking to Hawks did.
You had moments of awareness a few times a day where you had to remind yourself that, yes, (Y/N), you were just casual friends and deeply enamored with the number two hero and that sentiment was at least partially returned.
You had a lot of time to wonder to what extent the feelings were returned. They obviously weren’t entirely one-sided, right?
It was completely possible that they were, but you did your best to shake off the thought.
It was more likely that notorious bachelor and flirt, pro hero Hawks, just wanted a fuck with some feelings. To fuck with some feelings, right?
Though, he did say that he cares about you.
But, you definitely can care about someone you only want to fuck.
You wished you had some sort of definitive answer. The murkiness of it all just made the sweetness of the past and the texts of the present seem a bit sour.
Confessing to Hawks was daunting and terrifying. Not to mention, it felt a bit juvenile, all of it. People weren’t supposed to get melty crushes like this past high school, right? Especially not ones this deep on someone who couldn’t possibly feel the same as you, right?
During one of these moments of uncomfortable clarity, your phone beeped as you rested on the couch. Despite not even seeing the message, you knew it would be Hawks.
You grabbed your phone, clicking open the newest message.
[birdboy]: hey hey angel
[birdboy]: look at this fucker i found
The image attached was a photo of Hawks standing next to one of his own billboards, advertising some sort of sports drink. The photo had obviously been taken with a timer, the angle of the photo tilted as Hawks and the billboard were quite small in the frame. It added to the charm of the photo, the way Hawks was holding a feather blade to the throat of his own advert. You could even tell through the pixels he was wearing a wide smile as he did so, wings spread behind him
You snorted.
You and Hawks are just friends, you reminded yourself.
[you]: looks like a punk bitch 2 me dude
[you]: kinda uncanny resemblance tho
[birdboy]: i agree
[birdboy]: he’s hot tho
You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you readjusted on the couch. You weren’t disagreeing, not at all.
[you]: not wrong
[you]: still, punk bitch
[birdboy]: :^(
[birdboy]: feelings = hurt
[birdboy]: please tell me the photo is funny
[birdboy]: it took like five tries
[you]: very funny, im gonna save it and sell when im short on cash
[birdboy]: my publicist will blacklist u
[you]: i’d like to see them try
[birdboy]: is that a challenge angel????
[you]: a promise
There was a break in the messages, though Hawks appeared to be typing.
[birdboy]: unrelated but
[birdboy]: how are you doing?
You paused, taking stock of your disheveled, sleepy self. You were only a few days out of the hospital and you definitely could’ve been worse off.
[you]: im okay!!!
[you]: sore and tired honestly
[birdboy]: :^(
[birdboy]: i'm glad to hear its not worse at least
[birdboy]: ill send u lots more embarrassing photos
[birdboy]: a million angel
[you]: my hero <3
It all was surreal and mentally impossible to avoid.
You really, really liked Hawks and had for a long while.
...
Keigo spent most of the rest of the day busy with patrols and work for the Commission, much to his chagrin. He hardly got a chance to text you. It reminded him of his reality as a pro, his fast-paced nature and how he truly couldn’t slow down, not at that point anyway. He had a brand and habitual way of being that was standard. Even for you, he wasn’t sure if he could slow down, even if he wanted to or needed to.
The idea scared him, pieces of his reality.
But, at the same time, Keigo hadn’t ever felt like this before. The weird, but incredibly alluring and comfortable heat in his chest made him feel like he’d do anything for you. Fuck, he’d fly to the stars and move them if he could, if that’s what it took.
Maybe he even wanted to.
Keigo couldn’t become a different person, for anyone, that’s not how things worked. But if getting closer to you meant... adjusting, he could do that. Easily. He was adaptable as all hell and he’d be glad to use it for something that made him feel good instead of hollow.
Keigo busily flew the day away. As the afternoon turned to night, the sky going pink and purple with dusk, he settled on top of a taller office building. It looked down on a street market, its smells and sounds wafting up to him on his perch.
It gave him an idea.
A good one.
You were inspecting your fridge with a grimace. Balancing on your crutches and being counter-weighed by the boot on your foot made your angry stance a whole lot less intimidating, but it was the sentiment that counted.
Several days post-hospital had done a number on your food supply. The fridge was empty except for a few nearly expired items and condiments. The dry shelves weren’t looking much better.
The shrill sound of your ringtone from the couch made your jump, nearly falling. You teetered back over to it, eye-widening at the caller ID.
[birdboy] calling...
Hawks had never called you before.
You quickly picked up the call, “...Hello?”
“Hey, angel!” Hawks was chipper on the other line. “What’re you up to?”
“Currently?” You hummed, turning forlornly to your kitchen. “Thinking about how I either need to order groceries or order dinner before committing to my couch for the rest of the night. Why? You don’t usually call.”
“I don’t,” Hawks’s smile was apparent in his voice, even through the receiver. “But, I had an idea.”
“Shoot.”
“I might just be near a super good takeout spot. How hard would it be for me to convince you to let me drop some food by your place? My treat.”
You didn’t reply for a second.
Stunned.
“Are you sure?”
“More than, dove. I’m off the rest of the night, anyways.”
Oh.
That gave you an idea—
An idea that would surely push the envelope of your feelings.
Let it.
“Okay, I’m in. One condition.” You bit your lip, willing your stomach to seize fluttering.
“You name it. This place is really good and—”
“I have been going a little stir crazy, and,” You cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut in anticipation, “how hard would it be to convince you to come over and stay awhile?”
Hawks was silent.
Your stomach dropped.
“Wait, I-I mean—” You stuttered, trying to gather yourself, but this time Hawks cut you off.
“Like, to hang out?” Hawks sounded shocked on the other line.
“Yes.”
You kept your breathing even and prayed it didn’t read over the call.
“God, dove. I’d love to. I can be over in like ten—”
“Wait,” You fisted the fabric of your sweats. “Can I have a little more time? For myself and my apartment.”
Hawks chuckled on the other end of the line, “Sure, angel. Thirty sound better?”
You let out a sigh of relief, falling on to the back of your couch, “Sounds perfect.”
Keigo decided to tease a bit, his heart pounding in his chest almost painfully. He knew from day one that you were bold, but this was a treat. He had to spare back, just a little.
“Though, dove, I’m sure you look more than perfect yourself. You always do.” He didn’t wait for your response, either out of fear of what you’d say or being a bit smug, he wasn’t sure.
Keigo hung up the call, burying his face in his gloves to try and stifle the blush on his cheeks, though it hardly helped.
It didn’t have to.
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Thirty minutes later and you were mostly sorted.
You managed to throw yourself into the shower, tossing on something half-way decent, but still comfortable. Had to keep it casual.
Crutching around your apartment, you picked up what clutter you could, mind spinning. Hawks coming over to your fucking apartment filled you with elated, and yet terrifying, anxiety. A few times while cleaning, you legitimately paused to muffle quiet screams in your hand at the prospect.
You felt like you were going to burst.
Keigo did too, notably.
He took the time to fly all the way back to his apartment, take the world’s fastest shower, and throw on some clothes other than his costume. Going back to get food, his hands shook as he handed the bills to the starry-eyed vendor who he’d just written an autograph for.
You’d sent a quick text just before he’d left with a description of your balcony, so neither of you would have to figure out how to let him in through the roof.
As he flew to your place, Keigo felt like he was going to implode.
He didn’t ‘hang out’ with people. Nope, far too busy for anything like that. He was a compulsory workaholic, it was part of his mental brand of being (or, mental ‘branding’, maybe). The closest he got to casual time with folks was the preamble before a hookup or the time he had spent at the tea shop with you. Actually going to spend time with someone, casually, and it was you? It was all new and terrifying.
But, above all? Exciting.
The whole situation opened many doors, all of which Keigo pictured and picked apart as he neared your apartment. There were so many potential situations to appraise and plan for, he felt overwhelmed by it all.
The opportunity to spend some... time with you outside of the tea shop was a necessity, right? Keigo’s original idea had been to drop off some food and banter for a while, but the idea of spending one of his precious nights off with you was so much better than he could’ve expected.
Not to mention the warm bit of validation sparked by the fact that you asked him to come over, you wanted him around —
It felt nice.
So nice.
You paused, hearing telltale scuffing of someone on your balcony.
Oh my god.
He’s here.
Hawks is here.
You gulped, shaking your head.
Don’t you dare chicken out now. Commit, dammit. You’re just... hanging out. With your friend.
Yeah.
A knock on the glass pulled you to the door of your balcony, hobbling to slide it open on your crutches.
Hawks was happy to push the door the rest of the way open, stepping inside with a bag of takeout slung on his arm.
Your mouth parched, seeing him once again in civilian clothing. Was it... normal to get turned on by the fact that he looked normal?
As Hawks stepped into your humble apartment, wings tucked tightly to his back, you drank him in, hair ruffled with his clear visor placed on top of his head to push back the windswept front pieces. He wore a white sweater and black trousers complete with heavy black boots that were quickly untied and left by the door.
“You’re staring, you know,” Hawks interrupted your thoughts as you straightened up on your crutches.
Recover.
“Can’t prove that,” You tutted, crutching away from the door. “Also, welcome. Watch out for my cats, they might try to get a mouthful of your feathers.”
“Duly noted,” Hawks clicked his tongue, standing up and following you as you meander to the kitchen.
Keigo had to admit that your apartment was relatively... cute. He was used to his own, seldom-used digs. He had a big, uncomfortably nice penthouse with too many disused rooms and too much open space. Fixtures and furniture that were too expensive, probably, but it had been far easier to hire some big-name interior designer and not bother with dealing with it himself. Keigo had trouble keeping many ‘personal’ possessions, anyways. His training with the Commission made him almost revile the thought of keeping unnecessary, material objects, sans a few.
Your home was the exact opposite.
Maybe it was that he didn’t know how to have a personal touch that it made your cozy little apartment feel so full of them.
Little photos and artworks on walls or in frames caught Keigo’s eyes as he followed you to the kitchen. He took note of several blankets on the couch, catching sight of the plushie he’d given you at the hospital. Even the lighting of the apartment was personal, diffuse. With how easily overstimulated you became, it made sense that you’d keep your apartment so ambiently dim.
“So, first off, thank you for coming by and delivering dinner. I am eternally grateful,” You bowed dramatically, leaning to flail out a crutch at the motion. “Second, as payment, I’ll make you a drink. Maybe not with my quirk, but I have some of my old tea blends here.”
“It’s the least I could do,” Keigo shrugged, setting the takeout down on the counter while his ever-present grin nearly hurt his face from how relentless it was. “And tea? Show me what you’ve got. Or, should I trust you to pick one out for me?”
You hummed, clicking your tongue before moving across the kitchen to a different set of cabinets, “I think I’ve actually got a good one for you. It’s one of my favorites.”
“Lay on the details, angel,” Keigo hummed, leaning against the lip of the counter.
You did have the perfect blend in mind. It wasn’t too old, hardly stale. It would pair as well as a nice tea could with fried takeout, judging by the smells wafting from the bag on the counter.
“It’s one I made for a brunch we catered a few months back. It’s just a white tea raspberry blend, but it’s not delicate. It should stand up to any sort of food you’ve brought. Thank you, by the way.”
Setting your crutches down, you started to push yourself up onto the counter without thinking much of it, booted-foot going limp off the edge.
“Of course, anytime— woah, angel,” His voice choked as you wavered on the edge of the counter, off-balance.
There was a short flap of wings and rush of air as you tried to rebalance, cursing the deadweight of your leg.
If Hawks hadn’t been directly behind you, you probably would’ve eaten shit.
You turned yourself as far as you could, cheeks going hot.
Hawks’ face was just inches away from yours. That was even to mention the hands hovering around your waist, chest brushing up against your back.
“S-sorry,” Did he just fucking stutter? “You looked like you were about to eat shit there.”
The words hardly reach you, you were too busy actively telling yourself not to stare at his pretty, plump lips because that is not something friends do. Not the can of worms you needed to open, right?
“I-,” You turned away from him, stretching up to the tea tin that had been out of your reach. “To think you’ve saved me from falling while reaching for loose leaf tea, twice.”
“All in a day's work,” His hands twitched around your sides but hardly shifted until you began to descend from the countertop. In fact, Hawks hardly moved away at all until you were situated back on your crutches.
You pretended not to notice the flush on his cheeks.
Maybe, it was a bit too close. Definitely too close, and bad circumstances, but god, you wanted more and more of him.
You swallowed your desires down, cracking a smile.
Be normal.
Be cool!
You shook the tin, leaves and dried fruit rattling inside, “So, cream or sugar?”
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The two of you ended up on the couch, picking through the several boxes of takeout that Hawks had brought. Most of dinner was spent bantering back and forth about one of Hawks’ newest modeling contracts and if it was ‘ethical’ for him to wear his own feathers for the sake of ‘fashion’?
“So, off-topic from insulting my employment ethics, ” Hawks spoke while munching on a piece of chicken. “You surviving?”
“Barely,” You laughed, setting down your utensils with a huff. “I forget how isolation makes you go a little crazy. I’m running out of dumb shit to watch and even dumber shit to send you.”
Hawks snorted, setting down his own box, having had his fill, “I know you are more than adept at combing the internet for more good shit to send me.”
“I mean, maybe, but you keep sending me juicy photos of you being a dumbass. They’re hard to show up, you know?” You side-eyed him at the birdish tilt of his head.
“You don’t need to show me up, angel,” Hawks reminded you, some feathers packing up what was left of the food. “Though, it’s fun. You’re fun.”
You internally winced at the sentiment but forced the smile on your face not to waver.
It was a needed reminder.
This close to Hawks, you could fucking smell him. Maybe it was a little creepy, but you remembered it so well, after the villain attack. The scent of some sort of spicy cologne and old sweat, but it was hardly unpleasant. No, it was intoxicating. It made you feel almost fuzzy, as it wafted around like some reminder that Hawks and you were so close.
You thanked the stars that the apartment lacked the stimuli to make your quirk activate on its own.
Your couch wasn’t very large, and it seemed even smaller with how Hawks had laid his wings over it. They were propped up over the back, outstretched just the smallest bit to relieve some pressure. All the same, the massive feathers made you feel minuscule.
Even the way he was sitting was intoxicating and a bit gut-wrenching. It was casual, the way he leaned back against the far cushions, legs somewhat spread with an ankle over the opposite knee. The pose oozed a weird, untouchable confidence that you hadn’t seen in Hawks in months, maybe ever. At least, not directed at you.
Despite the warm nature of his words, he seemed guarded.
It made your throat dry.
Keigo was quite on edge. He hadn’t meant to get so close in the kitchen, really, he hadn’t. But, seeing you dangling off the edge of the counter like that, even if it was harmless and mundane, made his entire body and mind react before he could think.
But, you weren’t in any danger. Even if you had been, Keigo would’ve been there to catch you.
He’d put himself out of it, overthinking the whole thing. You were fine. Safe.
The other part of his mind spun with how he wanted to be so much closer.
Feeling the warmth of your body, the lines of your waist, the thrum of your heart and breath so fucking close—
It was a lot.
But, he was well-trained and not going to choke.
He’d shoved himself to the opposite side of the couch to you, keeping his boundaries up, strong as steel and hard as carbon.
Of course, Keigo knew the feelings were mutual. That didn’t mean that none of this was terrifying in the same way that it was exhilarating.
As much as he wanted to be closer (so much closer), Keigo remained careful. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was ruin something before it had even truly happened.
You sat back against the couch, repositioning your injured leg on the coffee table, “So, thoughts.”
“On?”
You didn’t look at Keigo as you replied, rather glared at your TV, “What to watch?”
“Oh,” You could hear the smile in his voice. “We’re watching something?”
“You tell me. I imagine you don’t get lots of time to do this sort of thing, do you?”
Hawks didn’t reply for a moment, sitting deeper into the couch, “Not really.”
“Then indulge, tailfeathers,” You tossed the remote in his lap. “Anything, go for it. Go nuts.”
Hawks nearly put on watching a reality cooking show, before you said that that was off-limits, per an odd conversation from way back when where he had admitted to be hot for Gordon Ramsey. He had been a little too vague as to whether or not he would pop a boner from Gordon’s filmed degradations. And truthfully, if anything was gonna give Hawks a hard-on tonight, you were determined for it not to be competitive cooking TV. Maybe, just maybe, you’d rather it be you.
...
Eventually, he settled on some psychological thriller you’d never heard of.
Keigo hadn’t either.
He was glad that you couldn’t hear his heart in the same way he heard your’s pounding.
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you crutch around, turning the already dim lights lower.
Calm the down, Hawks.
Calm the fuck down.
He’d never even done this before. Keigo wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, even if it was as simple as watching a film.
It would’ve been simpler if the tension in the air was thick and foggy, clouding over his consciousness as he tried to focus on anything other than your nearness and how much he wanted to drag you into his lap.
…
His feathers fluttered as you plopped back onto the couch, pulling a blanket over your lap and offering one to him.
He took it, settling it over his lap as the movie went on.
You weren’t an idiot. You could feel the blood rushing in your hot ears as you fisted the blanket over your legs.
Your mind spoke a lot louder than you wanted it to:
Just fucking do it.
Do what exactly?
The paramount thought that was causing anxiety to twirl in your gut.
Maybe, you could just tell him how you felt.
Maybe just hold his hand.
Maybe get fucking rejected because he’s out of your league and out of bounds.
Maybe even kiss him—
You were torturing yourself, the movie just background noise to your internal dilemma.
You’d asked him to your apartment and Hawks had bought you fucking dinner. That wasn’t a lot, sure, maybe, but there were also the months of lead-up.
There were all of the cold mornings and cheeky grins you gave each other in the waking coffee shop. There were the fuzzy jokes, the lingering glances, and the tight feeling you got in your chest whenever he graced you with mere eye contact.
It felt like you were already in too deep to not be honest about how you felt towards him. Fuck, you’d been in too deep for months. Every time you made him a damn drink, you wanted to just drink him in. You were all fluttering hearts and sweet smiles for him in a way that you couldn’t suppress, only squash in moments of such intense anxiety like this—
“Hey, dove?” It was Hawks, shocking you from your turmoil with a soft voice. “Are you alright?”
“Y-yeah, I’m good.” Your reply was curt and clipped.
Make a decision now.
Pull the bandage off, (Y/N).
It’ll just be worse, the longer you wait.
Maybe Hawks did just want to fuck with some cute feelings, the seemingly longing looks be damned. Yeah, you liked him way more than for just a fuck, that was obvious and unavoidable. Besides, it’d be better to know than to not know, right?
“You sure? If the movie’s too much, we can turn it off,” Hawks sounded genuinely concerned from the other side of the couch.
...
You committed, taking a deep breath and turning to Hawks.
“It’s not that,” You looked at the couch between the two of you, tracing the seam of the cushion. “The movie’s fine.”
“Then, you’re not feeling great for another reason?” Keigo asked, feeling each of your breaths and heartbeats like bass drums in his ears. He hides the shaking of his hands by crossing them over his chest. “You can talk to me, (Y/N).”
“Can I?” You asked, shaking your head and laughing at yourself. “Hawks, I need to do something really fucking stupid.”
Holy fuck.
Are they—
“What’s that?”
His voice was smaller than he wanted it to be.
“Fuck, Hawks,” You finally forced yourself to look at him, taking in his guarded posture and pained expression.
Your heart sank.
“I just need to be honest with you.”
Hawks’s brow soured, lips twitching, “Go for it, dove.”
You laughed, maybe trying to soothe yourself, “It’s probably is just, so fucking stupid, all things considered.”
You ran a hand through your hair, biting your lip between sentences and willing yourself to just get it out—
“Hawks, I like you. A lot.”
He still didn’t say anything and you could feel shards of your heart drive into your lungs.
You forced yourself to look up at him, smiling with the slight release of tension in your sternum, however painful.
“I know, we’re just friends, right? I’m just the barista and you’re my special, pro hero regular. I know I’m overstepping right now, but it feels unfair for me to not be honest with you.”
Keigo already knew this, right? He knew how you felt, fuck, he’d felt how you felt. He just wasn’t prepared for the exploding and thrumming in his chest when you told him with your sweet lips and kind words.
Why did it feel so different when you were smiling at him like you were in pain and telling him so fucking honestly with your words?
It was the thing about you that he admired the most, that candor in your tone and the grin in your cheeks as you spoke so.
But, your smile was falling, leaving watery-looking eyes.
“Hawks, I like you. Way too much for friends, and I needed to say something.”
Keigo’s mouth was dry.
For the first time in so fucking long, he was genuinely speechless.
He couldn’t recall a time in his life anyone had spoken so earnestly to him, just you. Just you, you, you— casually, over and over again, you talked to him like he was something real and something to be cared for. It was subtle, but it was one of the many things that made him want you closer.
Yet, despite all his bundled up desires, he was lost for words.
“I’m sorry—”
He stopped you, “(Y/N), please don’t apologize.”
“But—”
“(Y/N).”
Hawks’ voice was sharp. It made the expression on your face rapidly fall.
He looked at you with rapt attention, arms uncrossing from his chest.
He turned to you on the couch, feathers fluffed up and twitching.
Your nose stung as Hawks, all pretty golds and ambers, shook out an exhale and balled up the blanket in his lap.
“Hawks—”
“Why would you need to be sorry?”
Hawks looked at you with wide eyes, brow creased. His shoulders were... shaking?
Your head spun, leg aching, “... What do you mean?”
Hawks finally met your gaze, giving you the sweetest, saddest smile you’d ever seen, “Dove, you’re acting like there’s no way I could feel the same way.”
Every cell in your body stuttered.
“You’ve done it since we’ve met.”
Hawks scooted closer on the cushions of the couch.
“You’ve always acted like there’s just no way I could like you, give a shit about you—”
He moved a bit closer.
You couldn’t make yourself move.
“You want to know the truth?”
You creaked out a nod.
Keigo couldn’t help the way he went to cup your cheeks in his hands, thumbs rubbing along the apples of your cheeks. You lean into his touch, just like at the hospital, despite the blend of absolute fear and confusion in your expression.
“How could I not care about you, dove?” And it finally came out. “I care about so much— dove, I don’t know what to fucking say.”
That made you speechless, lips parting just the slightest bit as Hawks continued, losing composure with his morphing expressions.
He wet his lips, swallowing, “Dove, I’ve never—any of this. I-I don’t know what o-or how to say any of what I want to right now.”
You speak before thinking.
“Show me, if you don’t know how to say it.”
The idea seemed so novel as Keigo ran a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. He met your gaze with the gooiest, sweetest look you’d ever seen in your life, “You want me to?”
“Please.”
It was all the two of you had wanted for a while now, right?
“If I kiss you, I’m not ever gonna be able to make this go away, am I?” Keigo was speaking to himself, just above his breath. But, you were more than close enough to hear him.
“Hey, Hawks? I don’t know if we can make ‘this’ try to go away.” You grabbed one of the hands cupping your face, pulling it away, only to shakily press in your lips to the bones on the back of it. “I don’t want to anymore.”
“Y-you gotta stop being so sweet, (Y/N)—”
Neither of you could wait a moment longer.
Your arms wrapped around Keigo’s shoulder. In the same motions, he pulled you closer by your waist, dragging you finally closer to him.
He held your jaw like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because, truthfully, you were to him. The sentiment was shared Deeply.
Your lips pressed together and the long-held tensions in your chests mutually shattered, dissolving in the honeyed touch of each other’s genuine attention.
You angled your head perfectly, Keigo’s hand guiding you as his mouth worked against yours. It wasn’t a particularly steamy sort of affair, but by god, it wasn’t in any way chaste. Not with the tight grip and thumbing on your ribs. Not with the way your hands tangled in the soft (holy fuck, soft) hair at the base of Keigo’s skull.
You both tasted each other's sweetness, craving more of it after denying yourselves of it for so long. It was white-hot, exploding behind your eyes, even as your quirk remained dormant. Keigo was honey and cream and smoked spices all dancing across your palette.
To Keigo? You were sweet, cool water over a hot burn. You were the heat of a hearth rolling over him on the coldest of days. He swears that in the first moments he finally got to be close to you, and over and over again— he finally understood how your quirk worked.
There was no way that finally feeling you, feeling you as he felt you, could be described with just five senses.
You pulled away first, gasping for breath and arching your back into him. You lingered as close as you could, pressing your forehead to Keigo’s while your breaths mingled. You didn’t dare stray far.
“Was that enough to show you?” Keigo asked, breathless. He kept a wide hand against your back, urging you with a bit of soft pressure to put your weight into it. You complied, settling in his hold as Keigo stroked at your hot cheeks.
You nodded, beaming up at him with that sunny smile of yours. It never failed to make heat burn through Keigo and god, did it feel good to finally let it unabashed.
“I take it, you like me too, huh,” You smiled, looking a bit embarrassed.
“Very much, very much,” Keigo repeated, pressing a kiss to your nose (he’d always wanted to do that). “So much, (Y/N). I apologize for not saying anything sooner. This is just...”
“New to you, right?” You finished his sentence, thumbing along the back of his neck in a way that made Keigo just melt. “It’s been a while for me too, if it makes you feel better.”
“It does, dove. Thank you.” Keigo let out a deep breath, shaking his head against yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”
“It’s alright, same goes for me,” As much as you needed to adjust due to the angle of your recovering leg, you couldn’t make yourself do it. You were so wonderfully close to Hawks, you never wanted to move.
“If we’re being honest, then I need to be honest with you,” Hawks met your eyes, his expression going a little dimmer.
You braced for the worst.
He picked up your shift easily, finally able to express how quickly he caught your mood after so long of being attuned to it.
“Oh wait, no, (Y/N), nothing terrible, I promise,” Hawks rubbed at your sides. “It’s about the miel.”
“The... miel?” You cocked your head to the side, confused, recalling the drink somewhat hazily. “The drink I made you on the day of... the attack?”
Hawks gave you a tense smile, “That one, yeah. Remember how you said it was just based on your ambient feelings?”
“Uh-huh.” You let confusion lace your tone until it slowly started to dawn on you.
“You made the drink, ambiently, around me—”
Your eyes widened, mouth falling open, “Oh my god, Hawks, did my feelings for you get in the drink?”
Hawks graced you with a sweet, sympathetic smile, fingers tucking at the hair around your ear, “They did, dove. I’ve kind of known for a few days, it just hasn’t been the time or setting to say something. I apologize.”
“N-no, it’s okay, I totally understand,” You sighed into his grip. “I really thought it might be something worse.”
“Consider your worries assuaged,” Hawks hummed, eyes drifting to your boot. He deadpanned suddenly. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad does your leg hurt right now?”
Fairly bad, considering. You were half on your knees, the booted leg twisted awkwardly while still raised to the coffee table. This wasn’t even to mention the arch of your back so you could be all that closer to Hawks.
The pain of the position was easy to forget; you were still shaking from kissing Hawks just once.
“Uh, maybe like a seven, once I can feel anything other than how good you felt just now,” you hummed, grinning up at Hawks as his face went bright red.
The infinite pleasure you received, making him blush so sweetly.
He shook it off, squeezing your sides, “Cute. Very cute. Mutually returned sentiment, but let’s adjust.”
You nodded but didn’t have much time to react as a bundle of Hawks’s feathers lifted you every which way, albeit incredibly gently. All said and done, he was fully upright against the back of the couch. With the support of a feather or two, Hawks’s arms tugged you into his lap. Your legs stretched to the side, the booted one immediately propped up by a feather-supplied pillow.
You both settled yourselves, blushing and leaning on each other now that you finally were allowing yourself to.
Keigo fully wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight against him. One of his wings even shifted to drape over one his shoulder, sheltering the two of you in a canopy of a crimson. Keigo let his hands wander over your hips, not seeking anything more than blessed attention and heat. You gave it all to him, tucking your face into his collarbone, drowning in the scent that made you feel at home.
Keigo pressed his lips to your crown and legitimately shuddering.
He spoke to himself, so faintly and quietly, you hardly caught it, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”
There was melancholy in his voice, but you were quick to strip it away.
You brushed your lips along his jaw, savoring the way he held you tighter, “I have too. Can we do this more?”
“Anytime, dove. Anytime.”
“Right now sound good?”
You withdrew to beam up at him as you were so good at doing, only to be smothered by craving-satiating kisses anywhere Keigo could get to. The sweet, high laughter that he dripped onto you made your heart burst all over again.
And you finally, finally fell into the other sweetly, warmly, and properly.
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taglist: @thepandapopo @hawksexual @sinclairsamess @darcia22 @inhalingsoysauce @yee-fxcking-haw
#salem writes#lavender latte#hawks x reader#hawks x y/n#hawks x you#takami keigo x reader#takami keigo x you#takami keigo x y/n#mha reader insert#hawks reader insert#hawks#takami keigo#hawks mha#hawks bnha#im soft for this one yall#so soft
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Coffee, Crushes and Complications 2
Okay, this was prompted a lot by the lovely @headfulloffantasy @nobodygtb2 and two anons! I hope I could do the demand justice!
Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900
[Prequel] [Part1] [Part3] [Part4]
Tina sighed. She didn’t even have to look up to know who was approaching her first thing the next morning. The RK900 stopped at a respectful distance to her desk and clasped his hands behind his back. He opened his mouth, but Tina interrupted before a single word left his lips.
‘Yes, I think Gavin meant what he said to you yesterday. No, I don’t think he wants to see you again. No, I don’t know how you can win him over.’
The android looked at her in confusion, closed his mouth and opened it again.
‘Don’t try telling me you don’t have a crush on this man’, Tina just warned.
The RK900 sighed deeply and pulled over a chair from the neighbouring booth sitting down in front of her.
‘First off, I don’t have a crush, I just admire his work and Reed seems like an extraordinary person-‘
‘That’s kind of a crush though.’
‘I don’t-‘ RK900 stopped and grinded his teeth in frustration. ‘Listen, I just want to apologize.’
‘Yeah, because the last time you tried it worked perfectly’, Tina teased.
‘Maybe it’s because I approached him unexpectedly? Maybe if I could ask for a-‘
‘A date?’
‘A meeting’, he stressed. ‘So we can properly talk about it.’
Tina kneaded her forehead. ‘Listen, Rich, you are talking about Gavin Reed here. The guy can’t stand talking properly about anything. And I thought you got his message last time: He doesn’t want your apology. He is happy, he found his place in life. I don’t think your apology will mean much to him. Especially when you have done nothing wrong.’
She looked the android in the eyes. ‘Drop that damn apology. You did apologise and Gavin didn’t care. That’s your part done. Except if what you want from him is more than just that.’
The RK900 glared at her.
‘Hey, all I’m saying is you could ask him out like any normal person.’
‘I am only interested in having my apology heard’, RK900 spat with a blue-tinted face, then he rolled the chair back and left Tina giggling. Yeah. Sure.
-
‘Don’t get too used to these snacks’, Gavin laughed as his cat basically inhaled the slimy paste Elijah pressed out of the tube. ‘Daddy did get a raise, but I can’t compete with Eli.’
‘Oh, I don’t think you will wither away to nothing’, Eli laughed petting Bready with a smile. ‘You get fatter every time I visit.’
‘Hey, that’s not true’, Gavin protested. ‘You are a lady! Don’t listen to him!’
Eli put away the cat snacks and went back to Gavin on his couch where the cold beer was slowly warming up.
‘Now, tell me, with whom did you sleep to get this raise?’
‘With your mom’, Gavin muttered back what had Eli nearly choking on his drink. ‘God, Gavin, your mom jokes? Really?’
‘Hey, with us it’s funny because I can actually say it without bashing myself.’
‘Still gross.’
‘Maybe.’
‘So you won’t tell me?’
‘Urgh, I will but it’s not that interesting. Just embarrassed some rich asshole on camera and made him spill all his shit as he tried to get back on track.’
‘Do I have to worry?’
Gavin laughed and boxed his shoulder. ‘Hey, not anymore. These days you stopped being a rich asshole. Now you are just rich. I mean come on, you basically presented the police the culprits on a silver plate. Not many people in your position would do this.’
‘It’s bad for business if someone would find out’, Eli shrugged. ‘Better to get these idiots out of the way now and use it to better our image.’
Gavin looked over to his brother suspiciously. ‘Also androids are people now and it’s against the law to try force them back to be slaves.’
‘Sure, that one too’, Eli grinned.
‘Seems like you compete hard to regain the title of rich asshole…’
‘Nah, I’m just getting on your nerves, brother, believe me. I love Chloe like a daughter, even if I wanted to, she wouldn’t let me.’
They sat next to each other for a while and watched how Bready tried to hustle another snack from Elijah. ‘And, any plans for the future?’, Eli asked finally, lifting up his cat to pet her what she accepted begrudgingly playing for the long game.
‘For the future? Hmm, not phcking up what I worked for I guess.’
‘I meant personally. Are you considering dating again?’
‘Says the man who decided that he’s fine alone.’
‘I am’, Eli stressed, allowing no further discussion. ‘But doesn’t mean that’s the life for you.’
Gavin sighed and leaned his head back on the rest closing his eyes. ‘I’m not saying I didn’t consider it. But I’m a bit tired of it. I mean dates and getting to know people is fine, but… Most of the time it’s just an excuse for one-night stands and if I looked for that, I wouldn’t have put in all that effort of trying to figure out whether we fit together or not, you know?’
‘My little brother being romantic? Is the world ending?’
‘I mean, I’m successful and happy, might as well… But nah, maybe I am romantic, but I’m done having fun and playing around, I would like something constant in my life. Damn, maybe I’m just getting old?’
Eli laughed. ‘Hey, it’s valid. I understand you. Maybe you could ask Tina, she seems to have a good nose for people.’
‘Right’, Gavin resigned. ‘”Hey, Tina, didn’t you date a few guys in the beginning? Any of them still available?” Real good idea.’
‘Just trying to help.’
‘I know. Let’s talk about something else, okay?’
-
Elijah had stayed late and although he had helped, Gavin still was left trying to tidy up the kitchen in the evening. After he finally finished cleaning, he decided to check his phone and then head in for the night. It should turn out being a mistake:
>Hello Mr. Reed.
>I am sorry for this unexpected message. I found your number by interfacing with Tina’s phone because I don’t know how to reach you any other way.
>You have told me you don’t want my pity. I understand that. But I hope you understand my situation as well. I still feel guilty. But I know another apology won’t be accepted by you.
>Instead, maybe we could meet for a coffee? To talk about it and get to know each other? From what I’ve seen in your work you are a very interesting man.
>I’m sorry if this sounded weird.
>I’m new to texting.
>Please let me know if that would be acceptable.
Gavin frowned. He had immediately connected the messages to belong to the other Connor, this… Richard? But why did this android bother him again after he basically – no, literally told him to phck off?
He read the texts again and hovered over the keyboard. Should he ignore it? Text back? And in what way? He was tempted to just write where the android could stick his words, but it seemed to be a honest concern of the RK. Hell, maybe e should agree just to get rid of him? A part of him was interested in knowing who the new guy was that had replaced him. A part of him he never acknowledged, because he was over his last life, he was over and done with it. He had become better. He had grown. Maybe he should do the right thing and indulge the stupid android. He sighed and began typing.
Fine.<
When and where?<
-
RK900 couldn’t believe what he saw on the display of his phone.
>I’m here, where the fuck are you?
Well, he couldn’t believe the human had agreed to it in the first place. After how abrasive he had been when they had met in the coffee shop… but well, here they were and RK900 knew he just had to wait and see how it would go.
I am sitting at the table in the corner. I see you.<
Already got us coffee and something to eat I hope you like.<
‘Damn persistent bot you are’, Gavin sighed as he went over to the table where the Connor-lookalike sat.
‘You agreed to it’, the android shrugged.
‘Yeah, I guess I have. Truth to be told, I don’t really know why. I was a bit tipsy, but that’s no explanation.’
RK900 didn’t know how to answer to that and just pushed the coffee and a slice of cake over to the human, who huffed with a smile.
‘At least I do like what you decided to get. By the way, you don’t have to pay for this shit, okay?’
‘You didn’t accept my apology. See it as indulging an android’s bad conscience.’
Gavin shrugged again and took the first fork of cake. ‘Hey, not saying no to free food.’
‘Good to hear as I can’t eat it.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. Everything liquid is… fine, although a bit of a mess later on.’
‘But still you drink coffee?’
‘Like the taste.’
Gavin smirked, but otherwise said nothing until he had downed half his cake.
‘Alright, bot, what did you want to talk about?’, Gavin asked.
‘My name is Richard.’
‘That’s a shit name, Dick.’
‘Please don’t call me that.’
‘Sure as hell won’t call you Richard. That’s a grandfather’s name. Chose it yourself?’
‘No’, the android sighed. ‘But it’s what most people called me after I said it’s a name I would consider.’
Gavin huffed from his nose at that. ‘Yeah that sucks.’
‘I mean I do like it in a way. But I still consider myself RK900.’
‘Okay, I get how people call you Richard now.’
‘Anyways, what I really wanted to talk about was you.’
‘Me?’, Gavin asked. ‘Really, that’s a bad decision.’
‘I am amazed of your work.’
‘Okay?’
‘And how you managed to solve some cases… I truly hope to one day be as good as you were.’
Gavin looked the android in the eyes trying to figure out if this was a joke. It wasn’t.
Gavin cringed a bit as he answered: ‘Well, I’m sure it’s just experience. Was in this job for seventeen years. You learn a thing or two.’
‘But you proved remarkable talent from the very beginning’, the android pointed out.
‘Listen, you don’t need to be nice to me. I was a real asshole. I was good at one thing and one thing only and that was my job. I sucked at everything else.’
‘I’m sure Tina would beg to differ.’
‘Differing is her phcking hobby.’
That actually made the android laugh. It sounded weird and mechanical. ‘Oh, that’s a good one, need to remember that.’
Gavin looked at the android who grinned wide and caught himself smiling too. Immediately he willed it away. This was supposed to be a one-time thing. Letting the android talk about what bothered him and then never see him again. But… When had he decided that? He thought about what his therapist had told him. Change your old behaviours if you want to change how people see you and better yourself, fake it if you must. Was this old Gavin speaking? Or new Gavin? Phck.
‘She really can be a pain in the ass’, Richard - RK900 – whatever – ripped him out of his thoughts. ‘But she is a good friend.’
‘You two are friends?’
‘Yes. She honoured your promise by the way. She never talked about you. That’s actually what made me want to know you for a long time.’
‘For a long time?’, Gavin asked, lifting one brow.
‘I mean, if you haven’t been active very long I guess everything is a long time. But no, I read a lot about you when I started to work at the police, and I wanted to know the man behind the name.’
Gavin was a bit weirded out and some part of him wanted to shut this conversation down immediately. But he decided against it. Maybe this was worth a shot. ‘Well, then ask away. I’m not that interesting but go ahead.’
Apparently that had been the only sign the android had needed because the questions started to come down like rain:
‘What kind of music do you like?’ ‘Are you a dog person?’ ‘Any hobbies?’ ‘How did you find your new job?’ ‘What’s the name of your cat?’
Initially Gavin had thought to spend an hour max at this café with the android. But the hours flew past as he answered the android’s questions and listened as he shared information on the different topics himself. And as they stood up and left the café with them both awkwardly standing on the street in front of it, Gavin realised he actually had enjoyed this day quite a lot. He looked up at the android, who rubbed his neck and… was that a blush? When they made eye-contact, RK900 spoke up, obviously self-conscious: ‘I… I really liked talking to you, Gav- Mr. Reed?’
‘Gavin is fine. And I think I- No, I enjoyed it too. You are a nice person. You deserve the job you got, okay?’
And if he hadn’t been sure before, now that blue tint unmistakably was a blush.
‘Would you-‘
‘Would you like-‘
They looked at each other and burst into laughter.
It was Gavin, who recovered first and nodded.
‘Yeah. I would like. Next weekend? Same place same time?’
‘Gladly.’
[>next part]
#detroit become human#dbh#Reed900#RK900#Gavin Reed#Elijah Kamski#WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE TOGETHER??? I can't understand it.#soft Nines#Damn I wanted to include how Nines becomes Gavin's nickname for RK900 and he likes it a lot. So he is Richard for work and Nines in private#Because I like all names for RK900 but Nines is in my heart#I'll stop rambling
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hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.
on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.
but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.
(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)
and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.
aaaah hello anon!
thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????
the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"
my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is
I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.
I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.
Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.
And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.
There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen
There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?
but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.
I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.
*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that
of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.
but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side
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I JUST FOUND OUT BEE AND PUPPYCAT HAD A SECOND SEASON! GUESS WHAT I JUST FINISHED WATCHING!
Oh my fucking god holy shit, my guys! This show. This fucking show. Where do I even start! First off
SPOILERS!!!!!!
YOU DO NOT WANT TO WALK INTO THIS SEASON, THIS SHOW, WITH SPOILERS! DO NOT FUCKING LOOK, THIS IS 1000% SPOILER TERRITORY!!!
So I will be taking the extra step of taking my laptop out, and continuing this on there(and after I wake up because it's 4am and I regret absolutely NONE of this whatsoever because, guys, I love this show with everything I have left to my being, I swear, I will die for a third season)
Warning: This is a long one.
OKOKOKOK! I know I know! It’s been uh...A Month since I first posted this! BUT I am Here Now and Ready!!! I am less than 10 seconds into the first episode of season 2 and I am already So Ready to relive this!!(Dream SMP has Nothing on this show, God I Love This Show Far Too Much!!!!!!)
...First ten minutes...I have So Much I want to say...Just-just a lot of love...
okokokokokokokokokok!!!!!! I think I know how I’m going to do this now! One bullet for each episode! Let’s see if I stick with it.
Gentle Touch
In the first episode we already get a big game changer for Bee and her development. Bee becoming more responsible as a favor for Deckard. He asks her to take care of his family while he’s at cooking school and we already see her doing this. Going out to the ocean with Weasley, going out of her comfort zone for people she’s practically family to, which is why we got the beginning flashback, once again going out of her comfort zone to stop Puppycat from punching kittens, And Finally, coming out from her nap cupboard to face Howl and help pay for bills by eating ugly food.
Little Fingers
Ooh, this one has foreshadowing dream sequence. I would say more about it if it had more significance, but it’s really just what happens to Bee in the last ep. This episode brings more of Bee being responsible, trying to take her phone away from Puppycat so he stops making bad purchases. This episode made me realize what Puppycat’s role is this season, the child. Or something among those lines. He’s the same as he was last season, but it seems/is a bit more exaggerated because Bee isn’t doing the same things anymore. She’s started to care about consequences. And speaking about consequences, Toast announces she’s pregnant while confirming that she’s been staying...in Cass’s room(?)...weird, but ok, and by Tim pointing and Merlin’s reaction, it’s Merlin’s...but also everyone else seemed like they thought they were the culprit and I don’t want to think about the implications of that....MOVING ON-OH WAIT, And Cardamon’s mom is spouting magic tears that messes with the plants, so there’s that.
Snow and Violets
I’m going to be honest, I’m not 100% sure what to put here and I’m loosing steam. (I’ve been awake since 3 am...) But I think I can put something. The situation with Mr. Cup is the definition of being haunted by your past. The guilt and regret of cheating in the past has made him lose his motivation to give it his all in racing because, what’s the point? Motivation and not caring was his norm, so he just stuck with it. Until Bee, and now he can be a rainbow and sleep with less guilt and regret on his conscience. The thing with the island rapidly changing could be one of three things. Something to do with the ship that Is the island, a metaphor for change, or something really cool the creators just wanted.
Day off Work
Not Too much to note for this ep overall. Puppycat totally did do the ‘wrecking the house in search for the owner’ thing dogs do. Finally, a dog trait! Every time I see Cardamon now I just get sad cause he’s 7, and should Not be doing landlord stuff. Bee showing worry about how Cardamon’s mom is still asleep and being worried about Cardamon himself, I’m just glad someone’s noticing. I keep forgetting that some people haven’t watched the pilot so they don’t know about Puppycat being a Space Outlaw, so when he found all his stuff under the apartment I was less surprised and more excited. The two last things I want to say is I think it’s interesting/cool/intriguing how the Wizard family just takes every weird thing either in stride, unquestioningly, or ignorance. Just trying to pretend it didn’t happen so they don’t have to deal with it(other than Crispin, but he’s coming up). And the last thing I just want to bring to light is CARDAMON BEING SO CUTE IN THE LAST SCENE! JUST BEING A CHILD! AND LAUGHING WITH HIS DOG! ON A FUNNY CHAIR! I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR AND I WILL PROTECT THAT SMILE WITH MY WHOLE BEING!!!
My Favorite
Note, Pretty Patrick is also The Mayor. Alright. It’s definitely been a few months and you can see the relationship between Howl and Bee has gotten better, not that it was too bad to begin with, just a bit less peeved on Howl’s end. The theme of Bee being responsible is brought into play again with the train station scene. Telling Puppycat to not hit and the way Puppycat was acting around Patrick. All little kid stuff. Which also kind of clashes with what I thought was Puppycat being older than Bee by a lot, I’m honestly slowly getting more and more confused exactly how I should perceive Puppycat. THE FIRST REAL LOOK AT THE HAND GUYS! I’m still not sure what their deals are, but they have a corpse on their hands and that is already the biggest red flag. I have a guess as to what/who they are in relation to Puppycat and, by acquaintance, Bee, but I could be wrong, but I also can’t think of any other people they may be. I’ll bring it back up either the next time we see them or at the end.
Did You Remember
Grampa Puppycat cares about his granddaughter a whole lot. Don’t @ me, their dynamic is more confusing than a moving maze...Now this episode, ooh boy, it feels like a lot, but in a minimal way? First off, Cardamon finally breaks down about the stress of being a 7 year old landlord and Bee takes care of him for the day. Big Sis Bee For The Win! DON’T @ ME I MAKE UP MY OWN FAMILY DYNAMICS!!! Kind of continuing from the first sentence, Puppycat and Bee love each other(I Stand By Platonically For Them) so much already, for them it’s been a little over a year considering Puppycat fell into Bee’s life before her last birthday and now they’re celebrating another one. And I must admit, I can not for the life of me figure out wtf the deal is with the tears. They have little shapes of recent events in them and they make plants weird/straight up just make life! Like, What Even Is That?! Also, Cardamon finally gets a good sleep.
Bird Friend
Ok, so we got more ship pieces, a most likely reason as to why Puppycat was Like That in the last few episodes of season 1 and has been goopy every now and again in this season. Apparently eating things he shouldn’t eat make him Extremely off model and goopy. More hands! But not the rest of them this time around. I wonder if Sticky’s hunt for all the birds has any significance other than showing us another piece. Puppycat breaking down and spilling a few secrets after stress eating off the floor and Bee immediately saying no to someone else telling her what’s wrong with Puppycat and letting him come to her first instead of forcing him is always such a good lesson to have. Also, Cass is into weirdly shaped shiny things.
Two Clown Noses
Ah, it’s this one. The one that Really throws a wrench into the Bee/Deckard ship. THEY’RE BOTH SO CUTE! I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! This entire episode is just Crispin and Bee hanging out with the added angst of the beginning ‘story’. This world is full of such amazingly crazy characters and Crispin’s backstory is one of those crazier ones. Bee and him Lived Together and Know Each Other, he knows she’s a robot! My only question is, what happened that they broke up? WAIT- DID THEY EVEN BREAK UP?! It would be weird if they weren’t because they were living together and then they decide to live separate again would make no sense. I think I just jumped to the weirdest conclusion...Anyway! How would Puppycat get sick? I feel like that was just another thing they added to create different dynamics. The beginning birthday thing and the conclusion felt so real even though the cause was something so out there that I feel like only animated shows like this could pass, but also I feel like someone out there has done something similar, so what do I know. Yeah, not much else about this episode, it was mostly just Bee/Crispin stuff and character stuff. Gosh they’re so cute...but so is Bee/Deckard. Being a multishipper is hard...
Funny Lying
RIGHT! THEY’RE CALLED THE WARLOCKS! THAT’S THE TITLE I WAS FORGETTING! Tim knows everyone’s secrets, comes with the perk of having a lot of time and not talking much, you observe everyone else while they think you’re doing something else. I know from experience. Eavesdropping is a specialty of mine. SHIT THIS IS THE ONE WHERE CASS GETS THE MESSAGE DISSING HER FOR FALLING FOR TOAST FROM A COWORKER! I caught those vibes during the first season, but then the first half of this season came along and I was forced to drop those vibes in favor of cannon because TOAST WAS PREGOS WITH ONE OF CASS’S BROTHER’S KIDS! I’m good at catching gay vibes in fictional worlds, but I’m shit in the real world, just like everything else. And the thing is, we don’t get Any kind of explanation/closure for the entire rest of the season! We see Toast totally shocked reaction, probably moments before she was going to sneak attack Cass, but froze upon seeing that text. AND WE GET NOTHING ABOUT THAT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON! Anyway, that was only like 2 minutes into the ep, this is taking forever. We got more Bee being responsible for Cardamon and getting rid of the tears, but the biggest part of this episode is undoubtedly Puppycat’s scenes. We got him sinking to the bottom of the ocean and getting cradled by flowers created by the tears next to the ship. We find out he was bullied and ridiculed in school as a kid and his best friend(idk what else they would be counted as), Violet, convinced him to leave their planet after they accidently summon their ship, leaving Puppycat’s mother behind. seeing how he cried about leaving her she seems to have been a great caretaker and he loved her immensely. We get the scene of Bee’s dad as a baby/Very young child on a mission, giving a presentation, and finding the candy to be a source of energy by cracking it open. Making me think, ‘Is that Bee’s fuel source? If it is, how would not taking full doses for two years effect her?’ because in the first season she splits the candy in half to share with Puppycat and in this season she didn’t eat the candy at all. Makes me even more worried for the future knowing what state she’s in when this season ends. With the last flower fever dream/memory it seems that the princess that he fell in love with was the one to make the final move to turning him into a ‘monster.’ Don’t worry tho, Bee saved him from the bottom of the ocean
Golden Eyes
(I’m getting more and more tired as this goes one. I started doing this at around 12 this morning and now it’s nearing 6 pm. I’m loosing it!) We got another birthday and it’s Howl’s this time, though it’s not really his episode. The fish are attracted to the wish crystals for some reason and one eats a bit of it to be ‘human’ for a day. I love how the fish hated being a human and Weasley didn’t even notice it was a date. I don’t know if it was or not, but ending on that was funny. We got the return of the major douche from the season 1 finally and a mention of Moully.
Why Don’t You Help Me?
(I took a break between episodes, aka I went tf to sleep, because I was falling asleep at the table and not really processing everything enough for what I’m trying to do) Ok, so this is a day in the life of Cardamon episode with supposed parelles to the Warlocks. We start with the red one stuck and the others unwilling to help...and then they start drawing Puppycat’s face on the 5th one’s corpse and these guys just do not care that it’s a dead body that they supposedly killed themselves. In short, they have all my fear because they are uncaring about body counts. Cardamon still goes to school on top of being a self proclaimed landlord and gets made fun of for being responsible and tattling at every chance he gets. Something I just noticed too is, at first I just assumed he was finally getting tired after being an adult in a child’s body for who knows how long, but now I’m thinking if he’s supposed to be asleep with Violet, his mom, then the reason for him being so tired is being awake too long. It could most likely be both, too. Just like Cardamon, I have no idea what all the tears mean. In the most recent one was see Moully as the charm in the center. What’s the pattern with these? Again we see Bee being responsible and taking care of Cardamon, making sure he gets home safe, tucking him in, and pulling an all night favor so he can sleep and get to school in the morning. Speaking of that, I can’t say I like Cardamon’s teachers all that much. I could rant about them, but this is already long and they’re not worth it. My only real question is, why the hell are their clothes so ragged and dirty? Do they not know how to bathe? Just, WTF? (either that or they’re Really not trying to hide their *ahem* activities from the kids, which just makes me want to punch sense into them or something)
Now I’m Really Alone
MOULLY!!!! Sorry, I just love him a lot. From what I can put together, he’s some kind of gift giving being. Giving wishes, exchanging good deeds and quick favors for other good deeds and favors. Just being Really nice and wanting to help everyone he comes across. This episode makes me see so much in common between Bee and Moully. They both want to help even when they don’t know how. Making messes and finding ways clean up those messes out of guilt and the feeling of obligation. They both have lost things they need to pick up and the knowledge that they have all the time in the world because they’ve both been alive for so long. It keeps getting hinted, but now kind of confirmed, that the Wizard’s know Bee is Weird because they haven’t seen her age. Hell, seeing how she interacts with Cardamon she could have even baby sat them. So all the Wizard’s know she’s Weird and, supposedly, only Crispin knew she was a robot. That was until Deckard found out in the season 1 finally. Once again bringing up the point of people in the Wizard family finding something out and ignoring it and hiding it. In the season 1 finally, Tim asked Cass if Deckard wasn’t depressed anymore, practically saying that Deckard has some form of depression. Depression being a mental illness that runs in families, it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that some other members of the family have similar problems. One of the things I remember depression doing is the person will see a problem and ignore it. Something that many people in this show do with the weirdness around them and the emotional states/situations of the other people in the show. This season is about finally seeing the thing you’ve been ignoring and doing something about it. And that’s what Bee’s been doing this season, taking charge and finally getting her junk out of the ocean and getting REALLY far out of her comfort zone. She HATES water and the ocean, but she’s diving in to take back what’s hers and cleaning up a mess. There’s A Lot to analyze with this episode, the similarities of Moully’s and Bee’s situations and personalities, Puppycat being the responsible one again for the long run of things, the tears and how the wish crystals work, and the state of multiple character’s minds. Ignorance is bliss until it isn’t.
I Won’t Leave You Alone
Ok, SO MANY NOTES! Which makes sense seeing how it’s the last episode. First off, THOSE WARLOCK BASTDARDS VIOLATED MOULLY AND IF THEY WERE REAL I WOULD THROTLE THEM TILL THEIR HEADS POPPED OFF!!! I am a very protective person when it comes to things I care about. And I’m going to say it here and now incase something comes up of it, Cooking Prince gives be Colorful Vibes, if you know what I mean. You don’t follow someone home and bother them when they don’t want to be bothered unless you’re Into into them. That’s all I’m saying and if nothing comes of it, I will drop it. I’m barely hanging onto it to begin with. So, last episode we watched one of three hands punching the other hands to let Moully go, and in this episode it’s confirmed that the day Moully was pulled through the void, the 5th warlock died. My theory with that is, the 5th one was against getting Puppycat in some way and retaliated by fighting them off of Moully and then the others retaliated by killing them in some way. And the tears in this episode didn’t give life to the corpse, but grew new life over top of it, the tears can’t bring the dead back. The ship gets put back together and we see Puppycat being pretty selfish again, bringing the ship online while Bee gets scooped trying to help Moully. He indirectly helped, but only after he got what he wanted. Cooking Prince, an outsider, brings up how everything going on on the island is Weird and Cass celebrates someone acknowledging it. Once again, bringing back the ‘ignorance is bliss until it’s not’ thing going on around here. Cardamon does more childish things this episode, making a wish and crying in his mother’s arms. He got to finally let go of his responsibilities and let it out until he passed out, and now he gets to sleep again. Moully and Bee are out of commission and the Wizard’s+Cooking Prince stay one the island/ship to be with Bee even though they are mostly confused about EVERYTHING going on rn. Bee has multiple Bees now while she’s out, and so, they go looking for Bee’s dad. I have a feeling he has at least some white hairs by now.
I remember watching this season for the first time. I remember I definitely cried at multiple points, but I can’t exactly remember what points now. I didn’t cry this time, I was too busy taking everything in and trying to put what little pieces I could find together. The first season was to get us used to this world and get comfortable for a chill ride, but then it smacks you in the face with something much bigger at the very end. This season was to make you pay more attention and to question your surroundings. It was also about the first steps to taking charge of your life. If Bee didn’t do all the responsible things she did this season, the warlocks would have probably gotten Puppycat while the island went to shambles. Actions have consequences and that’s what this was about. I believe next season is why ‘Lazy in Space’ was the title. The characters are going to be in space, looking for Bee’s dad, and will acknowledge all the weird things going on while developing, excuse the pun, in out of this world ways.
I can’t wait for season 3.
#bee and puppycat#this show is fucking amazing#it is worth the loss of sleep time and work#bee and puppycat spoilers#season 2 spoilers#bee and puppycat season 2#bee and puppycat season 2 spoilers#now I usually tag every character that I mention but that would be imposable at this point#show review#season review#I love this show lots#it deserves all the love it can get#(I'll rb with the link I used but I'll only tag it minimally just incase)
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BTBY Ch. 18
Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.
AN: Sorry the taglist hasn’t been working. I’ve started tagging my local to check -_- Let’s get these two back together, what do y’all say??
Previous chapter here
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Time passed on with you living on Joe and Xavier’s couch. You had gotten into the habit of texting Namjoon on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes about important stuff, but mostly, and surprisingly it was about dumb shit. He would send you photos from the cities where they were touring or of food. It was finally your turn to return the favor.
Joe and Xavier got married a few months after you moved in. Joe was offered a position with a Broadcasting company in New York City that was too good to pass up, and so the three of you all packed up and began the long drive to your new two bedroom apartment in New Jersey.
NJ: What exactly am I looking at here?
Y/N: The World’s Largest Mailbox.
NJ:.........
Y/N: And here is the World’s Largest rocking chair.
NJ: Why am I looking at these things?
Y/N: Haha, haven’t you ever been on a road trip? We’re stopping to see weird things along the way.
NJ: No. I haven’t. My family always vacationed in the same places growing up and management shuttles us around.
Y/N: ha! Well next time you come to the USA I am sneaking you out for a road trip.
NJ: You’ll have to do all the driving sweetheart, I don’t have a license.
Y/N: Waaaat?! Really? Fine. You can be in charge of navigating.
NJ: That is also a bad idea but I admire your excitement. G2g, interviews. So. Many. Interviews.
You smiled and put the phone back into your purse. You had saved a table for the three of you in the diner next to the World's Largest wind chime.
“More coffee, honey?” The waitress asked, holding the regular and decaf pots as she made the rounds.
“Yes please. And 2 more menus. My friends are walking over now.”
“Sure thing.”
You put your hands around the cup, enjoying the feeling of warmth spreading through your fingers. It was early in the morning and you were trying to give them some private time in the hotel room so you had left early to do sightseeing in the small town of Casey, Illinois. It had not disappointed with it’s array of random big shit.
You heard the bell ding and saw the two men enter, looking sleepy but happy. You didn’t need to wave seeing as there were only ten tables in the whole place, but you did so anyways out of habit.
They sat across from you, as the server walked over and handed them some menus. “Good morning fellas. What can I get you to drink?”
“Coffee.” They responded in unison and then laughed.
“You got it.” She walked away from the table.
“Did you guys check out the windchime?” You asked.
Xavier squinted at you, “Darling, you are way too happy for this early in the morning. No. I have not looked at a windchime.”
Joe put his arm around his husband’s shoulder. “I’m sure we’ll look after we have breakfast though. Why are you in such a great mood this early?”
“No reason. I guess I just think the town is cute and weird.” Your phone pinged.
“You’ve been talking to your boyfriend-not boyfriend.” Xavier said.
You rolled your eyes at first but then a smile crept across your face, “Well I guess I was excited to finally have some pictures worth sharing. He always sends pictures from everywhere that look super cool. And I never have anything other than coffee and LA traffic. Which he has already seen. So unimpressive.”
The waitress dropped the coffee off at the table and then took the food order. You took your phone out and snuck a peek while Xavier and Joe were discussing the merits of turkey sausage versus regular.
NJ: You should come see me sometime.
Your eyes grew wide and you threw your phone back in your purse as though it was made of poison. That was a sudden shift in conversation.
“What the hell?” Xavier laughed.
Your eyes remained wide as you looked at both of them. You had imagined visiting him, but to you it was just a pipe dream. Your texts were never romantic in nature or anything. The two of you never mentioned the soulmark or the nights you had spent together or anything, You bit your lip nervously. “He asked me to come visit him. After we get all settled in New York.”
“Fucking go. Book that flight now.” Xavier exclaimed loudly, drawing a few looks from some of the older locals.
You laughed nervously. “Why so we can awkwardly hang out, have sex, and then never speak of it again? I’ve already done that twice.”
“Yes. That is a great reason to go.” Joe deadpanned. “Absolutely. Go get that soulmate dick. Oh also, because you like him and you would get to see a different part of the world. And you’re between jobs right now. I can’t think of a reason not to go.”
You took a sip of your coffee. “I’ll think about it.”
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“Has anyone seen my phone?” Namjoon asked. The other guys had been in the break room for a while, but as the leader he had a few more duties he needed to tend to before he could be done for the evening. The interviews had finally wrapped up for the day. They had done 6 online ones back to back. 3 in English and 3 in Korean. He was exhausted from translating and answering questions. The guys were always extra chaotic during the English interviews.
“I think it’s over on the table.” Hoseok replied, sending some messages on his own phone.
Jimin got up quickly, pulling V along with him,“ we ordered food. See you guys later.” They left the room.
Yoongi was sitting at the table texting as well, “I’m hungry too. Why didn’t they invite me?” He pouted.
Namjoon picked up the phone to see if you had sent him any more weird pictures. He felt bad sending you pictures all the time from all over the world. He felt like a spoiled brat. He knew they had worked hard to get to where they were, but the fame and success and everything that came along with it still felt so foreign to him. He unlocked the phone and checked the messages.
“What the fuck?” He looked up from his phone. “Jimin! Taehyung!” He yelled. Of course it was pointless. ”Yoongi? Can you unsend a message once it’s sent?”
Yoongi blinked slowly, he was also tired and confused by Namjoon’s sudden yelling. “Why are you asking me? I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“What did they do?” Jungkook, who had been quietly sitting on the couch next to Jin asked, his big doe eyes full of concern.
Namjoon scrunched up his face and wiped it with his hand, pausing to pinch the bridge of his nose. “They texted Y/N and told her I wanted her to visit.”
Jin let out a surprised laugh, “Oh my God.”
*Jungshook*
“Well you want to see her don’t you?” Yoongi said calmly
“I mean I do but she doesn’t want to see me. Remember? She left.” He replied. He was going to kill them. Maybe the IT staff at BigHit could help him. He grabbed his coat, determined to find out.
“She left in the middle of the night because it’s hard to say goodbye. You’re the one who left the country.” Yoongi said, putting his phone down.
Namjoon looked over, sighing. His phone pinged.
Y/N: Maybe ^_^ I don’t start work for a little bit after we get moved in. Let me know your schedule! I got my passport renewed.
Namjoon stood there opening and shutting his mouth a few times.
The room stayed quiet for several seconds.
“Did she answer you?” Jungkook tentatively asked.
Namjoon slipped his phone into his pocket and ran a hand through his hair. “She did. She wants to know my schedule.”
Yoongi got up. “Great. Jimin and Tae can live. I’m going to go join them for food.”
NEXT CHAPTER
@calling-dips-on-j-hope @ghostkat23 @cuteipat @marianeamine @thisisval @almonte12 @themisunderstoodblackswan @bobbyboops @betysotelo18 @katerbees
#bts fic#bts writing#bts scenarios#bts rm fanfic#bts namjoon x reader#bts rm x reader#bts rm x you#bts rm scenario#namjoon scenarios#namjoon imagine#namjoon x reader#namjoon x y/n#namjoon x you#bts namjoon#rm x reader#rm x y/n
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L’appel Du Vide: 01 What a Way to Start
Not that anybody is really reading it here, but I decided to follow through with this story no matter what.
All chapters: 00 - 01 - All stories in PDF
Rhys is the CEO of Atlas and Jack’s AI is back, surprise, surprise! Now Rhys is dismayed, Jack doesn’t care much, and the events of Borderlands 3 are just beginning to unravel. Is there any way to fix the plot of this game? Would it be any better if Rhys had to cooperate with Jack this whole time? Well, this is your chance to find out!
Spoiler: yes, dammit, it would. Everything’s better with a bit of Handsome Jack in it.
Genres: Fix-It, Developing Relationship, Alternate Canon, POV Third Person, Humor, Drama, Plot-driven (kind of? well, it has plot)
Pairing: Handsome Jack’s AI/Rhys (they’re still just talking, dammit)
Characters: Handsome Jack’s AI, Rhys
Rating: M for Mature but not in this chapter lol
Size: around 3000 words (chapter 2/11)
Sun set and rose, another day began. Rhys shaved off his moustache.
“Mornin’, sleeping beauty,” said Jack, who was sitting in Rhys’ chair when the latter one entered his office wearing only red bathrobe and home slippers.
“Morning,” replied Rhys, eying Jack wearily. Jack almost expected him to be surprised by his presence all over again, but it seemed like Rhys did not, after all, convince himself that the events of the previous day were just a dream, which, depending on how one looks at it, might even be considered personal growth. “Let me say how much I appreciate you not stalking me while I sleep. Just so you knew,” he said, painfully aware of Jack’s realness and determination to stay.
“Actually,” began Jack, idly following Rhys’s movements around the room with his gaze, “I watched you for some time, but your face looked so stupid that I started having these fits of hysterical laughter, so I left not to wake you up accidentally. I care for you so much, after all, and… Hey!”–he suddenly sat upright in the chair and pointed at Rhys’s hunched miserable figure–“that thing from your face disappeared! I could’ve sworn I saw it yesterday...”
“And now it’s gone,” concluded Rhys with a sigh.
“Phew, great job, pal. It was so awful, I cannot even begin to describe.”
“What? I thought you liked it,” said Rhys, nonplussed.
“Yeah, about that… I lied. Didn’t want to tell you this, but with that moustache, I wouldn’t let my kids anywhere near you,” said Jack and cackled.
Rhys scowled. He got rid of his moustache precisely because Jack told him he liked it, even despite the fact that it was particularly hard for him, considering the meaning it supposedly held. Since the day before he had this strange desire to do everything in opposition to Jack. Perhaps, it was deeply rooted in his former traumatic experience with the AI. Or in the fact that he had always been kind of mischievous, either one of those two.
“I see you’re in a good mood today,” said Rhys, making himself a morning coffee. He couldn’t say the same thing about himself – half of the night he spent persuading himself not to bang his head on the wall until Jack left for good. As a temporary means, it was as good as anything, but certainly wouldn’t be a reliable way to get rid of the AI forever. In any case, it seems not to have worked for Rhys previously, so he had to come up with something else. Changing the prosthetics took time, and he didn’t have that precious resource at his disposal in the needed amount.
In the end, when he finally managed to fall asleep, it was at the thought that he was actually a little sorry for what happened with Jack’s hologram during their last confrontation. Despite all the evil Jack had done, he used to be a significant part of Rhys’s life and helped shape him into what he was now. Most importantly, he taught him not to trust anybody and to always swing for the fences. Now, being the CEO of Atlas, Rhys could clearly see that this strategy worked perfectly.
“Oh, by the by, I took some time to look through your files and check out this Kawatagi guy we talked about yesterday. Must say, he’s a very promising candidate. Maybe, I should’ve chosen him as my successor instead of you-know-who,” said Jack in a conspiratorial tone, stroking his chin and narrowing his eyes. “Instead of you, I’m talking about you,” he added in a normal voice.
Rhys sighed, gently lowering two sugar cubes into his coffee. Here we go again.
“First, why the heck did you rummage in my computers without my permission? Second, his name’s Katagawa, more precisely – Katagawa Junior. And a candidate for what? Wait, don’t say anything, I don’t even want to know. Now get out of my chair,” said Rhys and proceeded to try and shoo Jack away with a few careless waves of his hand.
“It’s not like you can’t sit here. I’m just a hologram, you know.”
Jack was grinning, of course. Rhys looked down at him with his tired sleepless eyes and sighed the fortieth time this morning.
“Remember when we first met, you called me weird? Now you’re the one being weird, congratulations.”
“Oh, come o-o-on, don’t be so bo-o-oring.” Jack disappeared from the chair and reappeared on the sofa, lying on his side with his head resting on his hand. “You know, I think I’ve now seen enough of you to bet with confidence that you don’t have any friends. I bet I was your closest friend (and don’t forget that I was your imaginary closest friend), ‘cause I don’t see how someone can tolerate that attitude for long.”
Don’t worry, Rhys, he won’t get to you, you’re thick-skinned now, you know that, thought Rhys and put his mug on the table. He sunk into his chair and turned on the ECHO device to check for any new messages.
“Actually, I do have friends,” he said in his best I-am-not-offended tone.
“Yeah? Anybody in particular?”
“Zer0, for example. I am proud to call him my friend and I’m sure he’s proud to be called mine.”
“Zer0, yeah… wait, who’s that again?”
Rhys rolled his eyes. Some things just never changed.
“One of the vault hunters who… took part in your elimination, so to put it,” he answered carefully.
“Oh, yeah, that filthy bandit, I remember him! Well, not him killing me, of course, but I think I saw him somewhere. Didn’t he have that mental condition? I remember him saying some gibberish instead of speaking like normal people do. Yeah, right,”–Jack laughed–“I can see you two dorks being friends.”
“How could I have survived this long without you trying to offend me all the time? Unbelievable.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking! Or was that still your thought? I always forget I’m in your head. Anyway, to summarize our conversation so far, we’ve established that you’re a pathetic loner with only one creature in the whole world you can call a friend of sorts. You never seize to amaze me, Rhys.”
“There’s also Vaughn,” said Rhys through his teeth, beginning to lose his patience.
“And that is…?”
“You remember Vaughn, don’t you?”
“If I’m asking who that is, then, apparently, I don’t,” answered Jack, making the irritation in his voice sound as blatant as possible. “Why do you carry around that thing people call a head, huh?”
“He used to work for Hyperion with me.” Rhys threw a quick glance at Jack, looking for any sign of recognition on his face, but there was none. “Is short, wears glasses?” Still no signs. “Has a six-pack?” he said in his last desperate attempt to make Jack’s memory serve its purpose.
To his surprise, it actually worked. Jack snapped his fingers and rolled over on the sofa.
“Oh, that ne-erd, yeah, I remember him. Where’s he now?” he asked, not even trying to pretend that he really cared about the answer.
“He’s on Pandora, doing some bandit stuff. Guess he is working for the…” Rhys suddenly stopped, hastily thinking about what he had almost let out.
“For whom?” asked Jack indifferently. The answer still didn’t matter much to him, but he just couldn’t bear the thought of Rhys keeping something hidden from him.
“For the… err… for, well, you know… coughmson coughders,” replied Rhys, sounding like he was choking on something, and started loudly typing on the table, pretending that he was incredibly busy with his emails.
“What? Didn’t quite catch that.”
“Rimzon raide-ez,” indistinctly said Rhys into his fist and cleared his throat.”
“God dammit, Rhys, what the fuck are you saying there?” shouted Jack with annoyance and jerked up from the sofa. “Should I stand right behind you all the time to know what comes out of your mouth? Even your thoughts are more distinct than that.”
Perhaps, scared by the prospect of Jack constantly following him closely, even closer than he already did, Rhys gave in.
“It’s the Crimson Raiders, for god’s sake!” he yelled and landed his fist heavily on the table. He then took a deep breath to calm down and added, “He works for the Crimson Raiders. I just didn’t want to tell you.”
“O-oh. O-o-o-oh, I see how it is. He’s with team idiots now, isn’t he? Well, good to know. Now we’ve proven that all your friends are either stupid or nonexistent. Great.”
Rhys’s left eye was glowing as he was interfacing with the devices in his office. He took a sip of his coffee, scrolled down the list of new casualties reports and tried not to take what he had heard close to his heart.
“Now that I got my daily dose of humiliating you, let’s talk business,” said Jack and laced his fingers together as if he had a very profitable offer for his interlocutor. “I think we can squeeze something out of this Katamaga,” he began, and Rhys immediately exerted himself. He did not like the sound of that. “I think there’s more to him than you see. He doesn’t just want Atlas, you see, he very obviously wants you to work with him. What a fool! That’s a perfect opportunity for us to rob him of everything he has, including his pathetic corporation. I mean, I never liked Maliwan, but if it’s a gift horse… Who am I not to take it on your behalf, right?”
“I appreciate the thought you put into it, but I already have another plan, and it definitely isn’t allying with Katagawa Jr. He’s an obsessed psychopath and I don’t want anything to do with him,” replied Rhys confidently. He shivered even at the possibility of having another Jack-like associate.
“Enlighten me then. What genius idea has your corporate mind produced?”
“First, you have to promise not to yell at me. My head aches and I won’t endure any more than you already being here and talking to me,” said Rhys patiently, already predicting Jack’s reaction to what he intended to share. There was no way to keep it a secret, so he wanted to at least soften the blow.
“Yeah, whatever,” said Jack and yawned.
Rhys braced himself. Discussing this would surely be no easy matter.
“I want to make a deal with Lilith. She helps me defeat maliwans, and I give her something she wants in return.”
There was silence. Then there was a snarl and a nondescript squeal.
“WHAT. THE FUCK. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! MM, RHYSIE, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?” Jack appeared standing on Rhys’s table right before him. The sight made Rhys spit out a bunch of his coffee. “You’re joking, right?” Jack squatted down to see Rhys’s face when he spoke. “Out of a-a-all people in these 6 goddamn galaxies you choose her? I see you’ve been a very bad boy in daddy’s absence, completely out of your mind!”
Rhys raised his index finger and burbled, “You told me you won’t yell. I specifically asked you not to yell, Jack.”
“What am I supposed to do then, huh?!” Jack disappeared and in the next second was already standing at the window with his arms crossed, thoughtfully observing the Atlas soldiers running around outside. “I thought you can’t disappoint me more than you already have, but it seems like you always manage to conquer new heights.”
“Look, there’s really no point in talking about this. I’m my own boss now and this is my decision. I was the one to rebuild Atlas from ruins, so I’m sure I’ll be able to take care of it. Please, Jack, I’m tired and sick and I don’t want all this.” Rhys sighed wearily and rubbed a coffee stain on the table with the sleeve of his bathrobe.
“Okay. Okay-okay-okay-okay, hear me out. Just this one time, just once, let me tell you something.” Jack turned to Rhys and Rhys gave him a little nod after considering for a few seconds. It’s not like he really had a choice, he just liked to think he had a firm grip on the situation. “Tell me, do you remember Lilith doing something, anything for the sake of somebody else?”
“Um, yeah, she killed you, actually,” replied Rhys confidently.
“No-no-no, honey, she didn’t do it for somebody, she just wanted to have her revenge on me,” said Jack, stressing what he viewed as essential pieces of information to make sure Rhys REALLY got what he wanted to say. Were he not a hologram, he would probably be shaking with rage as he did it. “She wanted to destroy me, because I destroyed her boyfriend who just wouldn’t let me wipe those bandit asses, which, by the way, included his, off my planet. She couldn’t care less about all those people that died, about Crimson Raiders, about her other “friends”. She is a murderer, just like you, me, like any other person on that goddamn planet. The only difference is that she, unlike us, didn’t have ANY good will.”
Jack’s intense stare made Rhys turn away. AI’s words made him consider what he knew of Lilith, but he felt almost wrong when doing so. He shook his head, trying to scare the thoughts away.
“You just hate her, that’s all. She may not be the best option, but when choosing between her and Maliwan, I believe, the choice is obvious.
“Is it? Is it, though?” asked Jack furiously with his eyes almost bulging out. “Let me tell you one thing. Two things, actually. Despite how surprising it might sound to you, I’m actually happy that she killed me. You know why? Of course, you don’t, otherwise we wouldn’t have this conversation now, dummy. So, I’ll be kind enough to explain. Even after her betrayal, I didn’t finish her off, which means I am better than her. “What is the second thing, Jack?” you might ask. Well, here goes: she is a stinking bandit. A bandit, and the only thing you should do with bandits is kill them, but I’m sure this much you should know by now.” After finishing his rant, Jack exhaled loudly and adjusted his unmoving hair with a swift motion of his hand. To top his speech off, he asked, “Still better than Katagawa?”
Rhys, however, still remained unimpressed.
“Jack, he killed his entire family to become the CEO of Maliwan. I imagine you would think it’s a reasonable thing to do when you want to run the corporation so bad, but I’m sure you know I disagree with that.”
“And what do YOU know about his family?” asked Jack, clearly upset by the lack of expected reaction. “Do you even know anything about the way he runs Maliwan? The only thing I know is that now they are more successful than ever (even though I hate to say it). Use your brains, kid, and you’ll go further than you could’ve hoped. One of these two alliances will bestow endless opportunities upon you while the other one will almost certainly get you stabbed in the back.”
“I hear you. I hear you and I disagree. I’m sorry, Jack,” said Rhys and shook his head apologetically. He was already imagining what would such a start of his day lead to.
“Oh my god, how can you not see that you have more in common with him than a skag and a grinder! He sees something in you, and that something makes him crave for your favor with such persistence. Just imagine how much you can squeeze out of him if you give him the tiniest thing in return. It’s simply a gold mine!”
“He wants us to merge, that’s enough of a reason for me to refuse him,” said Rhys with utter disgust.
“So what? Don’t worry about that, cupcake, you’ve got me, and I’m here to help. Who says we’re gonna merge?” Noticing how Rhys was shaking his head again, Jack leaned closer, trying to make the atmosphere more… companionable, and continued in a calmer voice. “Believe me, I know that Atlas is your child and you would never sacrifice it. We’re gonna… adjust the conditions a little, little tiny bit. No merge, only the alliance. How does that sound?”
Rhys thought that Jack was once again confirming what a masterful negotiator he was. No matter what objections Rhys had, he always did his homework and learned his weaknesses. The long-forgotten feeling of a threat sitting right at his side returned to Rhys as he caught himself thinking over the possibility of allying with Maliwan. Don’t budge, Rhys, don’t let him see that you have second thoughts, he’ll eat you alive.
“Completely unachievable,” he was only able to utter.
“Come on, stop screwing around, will you? You’re wasting time with your fidelity to stupid principles. Have I ever given you any bad advice?”
Rhys chose not to say anything. It was as good an answer as any other. The leftover coffee in his mug already went cold and he frowned in disgust when sipping on it.
“Okay then, I’m beginning to grow real tired of this, so you better listen here, you little dipshit, and listen carefully…” Jack’s tone was once again peremptory and his eyes were drilling into Rhys’s soul. “I’m tryna help here, so stop pretending you’re a princess who lives in a tower filled with her little cute ponies and chooses to believe there’s no filth around her. Just do what I say and you’ll be on your road trip to success. And you’ll thank me later, believe me. If you choose not to do this, however, I’ll follow you around all the time, saying what a sore loser you are. All day, all night, Rhysie. You know me, I’m restless, and I can come up with millions of ways to make you hate your life. You won’t sleep, you won’t talk to anybody, you won’t eat your fucking lunch without me standing one centimeter away from your ear, whispering how much you suck. Now let that sink in. Once it has, give me your final answer.”
Jack’s eyes were glowing. His whole body was glowing because he was a hologram, that’s just what holograms do. Yet even though it was his permanent state, an unchangeable condition, his eyes looked different.
He really is serious, thought Rhys to himself. Well then, guess I’m going to die of starvation, sleep deprivation, and lack of human contact.
“Fuck you, Jack. Fuck. You.”
“Is that a yes?”
#borderlands#borderlands 3#tales from the borderlands#handsome jack#handsome jack's ai#rhys#rhys strongfork#handsome jack x rhys#fiction#fanfiction#fix-it#alternate canon#drama#humor#romance#l'appel du vide story
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Ive already accidentally deleted this once so fucking kill me (I forgot to save it).
⚠️TW FOR ANXIETY, TOURETTES, SLIGHT SELF HARM⚠️
But this is my post for @doinmybesthere Mental Health Awareness May collab! I will be doing Bokuto Koutarou. To explain a bit, to cope with bullshit that is life, I accidentally made myself a coping mechanism that I loving refer to as the ‘Klaus Hargreeves‘ (if you know anything about that character, you already know where my mental state is) because I can’t remember what my therapist said the actual name for it was. To put it simply, it’s like overactive day dreaming. I act out and create scenarios in my head to comfort myself, most of the time using characters or real people as an enabler for the comfort I wish to gain. Side effects being; if caught, considered crazy, sometimes don’t realize I’m doing it which can lead to awkward situations, sometimes I fuck up what’s real and what’s not. So, in these little stories, I will be retelling scenarios I have created through this coping mechanism that relate to both Bokuto and my mental problems! Each will be labeled with what they deal with so you can skip the one that might trigger you. Enjoy and happy reading! (I WILL ALSO BE MENTIONING AND USING STIMMING) ((I will probably use this to make other fics like this in the future mentioning my other ~stuff~ but in the meantime this is all I want to do so enjoy!))
⚠️LAST TW⚠️
1. ~Anxiety, Self harm, Mentions of Stimming~
He should’ve been home an hour ago! I was pacing in the living room, shaking hands holding my phone. It was 7:13 and Koutarou was supposed to be home at 6:00. I was spiraling and I could feel it, but I didn't know what to do about it. Id sent him text after text, but he was yet to respond. I glanced at my cell, only stopping my frantic shuffling to focus my attention on reading the screen;
Hey, is practice running late? [6:11] When do you think you’ll be home? [6:15]
Are you there? [6:19]
Koutarou??????? [6:23]
Kou pick up your damn phone! [6:27]
Did something happen???!! [6:34]
Is everything okay?! [6:39]
Are you mad or something??? [6:47]
Bokuto Koutarou I’m dead serious where are you?!?!?! [6:53]
Bo-ku-to!!!! [6:59]
Koutarou it’s been hour please text me [7:07]
Koutarou!!! [7:12]
-Unread-
My eyes scanned the messages again, not leaving the blue screen until until my shin collided with the side of the coffee table. I hadn’t even realized I had started pacing again. I checked the texts I had sent to Akaashi as well, since I knew he was at that practice too, but I hadn’t gotten any responses from him either. Slipping my phone screen up onto the table I continued my pacing, not even processing when my finger nails found their way under my teeth, and how when they left my mouth to scratch at my neck or claw at my shirt, my teeth resorted to gnawing at my lip instead, tearing up the thin skin. All habits I was trying to kill but didn’t have enough brain power to focus on not doing them. My eyes constantly searched the driveway for the headlights of any car, any car at all, but they always came up with nothing. It was 7:24 when my phone struck with the sound of text, the bing of anticipation sent me diving for, and consequently almost dropping, my phone in an attempt to find out if it was Koutarou. It was!
Hey, is practice running late? [6:11] When do you think you’ll be home? [6:15] Are you there? [6:19] Koutarou??????? [6:23] Kou pick up your damn phone! [6:27] Did something happen???!! [6:34] Is everything okay?! [6:39] Are you mad or something??? [6:47] Bokuto Koutarou I’m dead serious where are you?!?!?! [6:53] Bo-ku-to!!!! [6:59] Koutarou it’s been hour please text me [7:07] Koutarou!!! [7:12]
-Read-
Im so sorry!! Yes practice did end up running
late! But something else happened and I
wasn’t able to text you! I’m not mad about
anything I promise!! What happened is also
minor and nothing to worry about and I’ll
explain when I get home in about ten
[7:21] minutes!! I’m so sorry!!
-Read-
I sighed, relieved, the weight on my chest and in my head dissolved and I felt like I could finally breathe again.
Though, as I came down from my anxiety rush, I became aware of a lot of things all at once. The first was a good deal of pain. From knocking my leg into a table and pacing for over an hour, to bitten lips and nails, and my scraped neck. I groaned, I need to get a better handle on this.
But that wasnt important. Koutarou was okay and on his way home! I waited at the window, feeling a bit like a dog waiting on its owner (that was a kink joke yes), and leaped to the front door when I saw his car in the driveway. Throwing open the door, I pulled him inside the second I could get my hands on him and pulled him through the doorway. The moment he was inside, I shoved myself into his arms in a tight hug, so glad he was okay. He returned the hug and held me tightly, I let out a shuddering breathe and he let out comforting sounds I sometimes use to stim.
“Hey, hey, hey, I’m so sorry to have you worry, it was about Akaashi! We were running extra practice with a handful of the other guys and I literally had half a text to you written out when he a spike to the face! I was the only one left with a car so I drove him to hospital! I’m so sorry you are so worried you sent like 15 texts! I’m so-“ I cut him short with a hand over his mouth since that was one of the only ways to get him to stop talking.
“Kou, it’s okay, I understand, it just really scared me ‘is all-“ he pried my hand off his face but held it in his own.
”I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t apologize for it, whether I was in complete control of the situation or not! Which I was not, by the way, no control what-so-fucking-ever, I had four other guys in the car and one of them was bleeding and concussed, it was chaos!!” His eyes were wide and he went off on the stress of the situation and, for a moment, I forgot that it was 7:26 at night on a Thursday and I had a biology test in the morning, and that Koutarou just got home and I hadn’t even eaten yet and all the other things that werent right in the world. Everything was fine in that moment. But that ended when Koutarou took a good hard look at me. The redness and scratch marks on my neck, the bitten to bleeding finger nails, the small bruise forming on my shin, my blotchy face and my probably-way-too-red lips. He stopped dead in his words and I felt my eyebrows scrunch up.
“Whats wrong?-“
“You did the things again didn’t you?!” He sounded distressed and his broad shoulders sunk. Koutarous hands rubbed my shoulders as he stared into my eyes with the most concerned look I’d ever seen. He pulled me back to his chest again and promised it wouldn’t happen again.
7:46, Koutarou insisted on taking care of my ‘injuries’ since he was who I was having anxiety over anyway. I protested a little, but gave up when he gave me the baby-owl eyes.
First, he had wrapped bandaids on my fingers. Thankfully, they were black, and I made a comment on it was like a 2-second manicure just to hear him chuckle.
Then, Kou applied a moisturizer to my neck. “Kou, I can do this myself-“
”Nope! I insist!”
”I’m not a child-“
”Don’t care, I’m doing it so just shush up and let me do what I need to do!”
Next, he made me apply ice to my bruise even though it was tiny and caused by a damn two-foot-tall coffee table.
Lastly, he gave me chapstick. Again, wouldn’t let me do it myself, so I made several sarcastic remarks to make him blush, all working quite well. Koutarou had to tell me to stop giggling multiple times so I could stay still.
”Alright, are you done playing nurse?”
”Forgive me for wanting to take care of you!!” He stuck his tongue out at me with an audible “bleh!” and I cackled.
”You are forgiven, Nurse Bokuto.”
2. ~Tourette’s, Stimming~
My neck painfully popped when it jerked to the left, my tics had been bad all day and I no clue why. Could be exams, or the fucking toaster for all I knew. I hissed, rubbing at my neck and adjusting the water can I almost dropped, trying to continue about my Saturday.
It was obnoxious, really, having to me-proof everything around in case I end up kicking it, dropping it, or hitting it. My joints constantly cracking and snapping and jolting in the strangest ways at any given moment. Sometimes repeating what people say back at them in perfect mirror-like fashion. Though that last one can be kind of funny.
Clicking my toungue to make nice noises to try and stim the tic away, I returned back to my plants. I could feel them chuckling at me and, in that moment, I understood everything about Crowley from ‘Good Omens’.
I heard the door unlock in the other room and I put my can down as a precaution and peeked out of the doorway.
A moment later, Koutarou popped through the door after his morning jog. He called out; “Hey, hey, hey!” as a greeting.
I felt my hands go up behind my head and I thought Oh gods dammit, and then my jaw jutted forward in a very unattractive way and I repeated his phrase in the same manner as him, then immediately dropped, as my body decreed.
I groaned, looking up at him, who looked slightly bewildered at my little madness ritual. His hair laid flat on his head, he had chosen not to mess with it this morning, much to my delight, his amber eyes a little wide and his eyebrows raised. He was barely even in the house yet.
We just kind of stared at each other for a hot second before I awkwardly waved ‘hello’ and cracked a weird grin. He grinned back, his more pleasant than mine. Walking over, he opened his arms for a hug, and I accepted, since he wasn’t all that sweaty this time around, and it was the least I could do since he had to witness that.
Koutarou planted a kiss on the top of my head, cheering “Good morning!”
I muttered a response into his shirt.
“One of those days, huh?” I nodded.
“Coffee? I think we have muffins in the cabinet?” I nodded again and he lead me into the kitchen to set up some breakfast. It was 9:00 am on a Saturday after all. A weird Saturday, but watching Koutarou finagle through the cabinets, it couldn’t be that bad.
That is all for now! Have a wonderful day and I am going to sleep for three years see y’all (edited: June 18 2021, because I can’t spell)
#Mental health#Bokuto#Bokuto Koutarou#Haikyuu#Haikyuu!!#Haikyuu fanfic#fanfic#mental health awareness may#May#May fanfiction colab#fanfiction colab#fanfiction#fanfic colab#Bokuto fanfic#Tourettes#Anxiety#stimming#stim#TW#Self Harm TW
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Watching Star Trek TOS For the First Time! Season 1 Reaction
I’ve been a TNG, DS9 and Voyager fan for maybe 10 years but had never watched TOS until I decided that I would. And then I realised I couldn’t live with the possibility of the internet not being able to know my incoherent rambling reactions if it so desired. Most of these were written the day after I saw them but with the early ones it was later so sorry if I don’t remember your favourite.
Season 1:
The Cage: Be still my beating heart why must number 1 leave the show? Why?! Imagine a world in which Majel Barrett got to continue to be her in the Star Trek universe instead of Lwuxana (sorry I don’t love her) and Nurse Chapel. She’s so beautiful I love her. And she gets to where pants and be the second in command. While the episode for sure has sexist moments it does seem like there was more of an actual effort to present to future as having gender equality. When you compare this to the ultra mini skirted version of the actual show, it does feel like executives went through it to make it more marketable. It’s been noted by others that she is quite similar to what Spock’s character became: the cold, logical one, while Spock smiles in this episode. While I ended up loving Spock I still would’ve loved to see a woman in that kind of role, especially in the 60s. Although I’m not sure she would’ve been treated that well.
So Vina can’t like, get medical treatment from Starfleet doctors who know how to put a human body together? No? We’re just gonna leave her there? She’s too ugly? She’s better off living in a fantasy world where she’s pretty? Ok then…
The Man Trap: I don’t even really remember this one so I’d have to rewatch it.
Charlie X: Charlie sees women and becomes an incel, Kirk has to try and teach him not to be. This is a decent goal that somehow culminates in a space boxing match. Kirk loses his shirt. Sexual tension is presumably resolved. Uhura sings.
Where No Man Has Gone Before: The pants are back. Man becomes some kind of god and Kirk beats him up if I remember correctly.
The Naked Time: This is where The Naked Now comes from. This one was less sexual, which is probably a good thing, and less drunk, which is too bad cause I love drunk Crusher and Picard trying to focus on work while their brains won’t brain. Highly relatable mood. This one is where the immortal line “sorry, neither” comes from, spoken by Uhura in response to Sulu calling her a “fair maiden.” According to the internet that was an ad lib and I so hope that’s true cause it’s amazing. Also according to Spock Sulu is a “swashbuckler at heart” which is cool and all but I wish we got to find that out by him actually being a character that we know the personality of rather than a background diversity guy who gets to say a couple of lines sometimes. Also each to their own but shirtless Sulu is infinitely more attractive than shirtless Kirk.
The Enemy Within: Bad. Women at Warp podcast said it best, it’s bad because they say the evil Kirk is still Kirk and is needed for him to be a good captain/person. This could’ve been ok if he didn’t do something so irredeemable, or they could’ve not had him be defined as a true and necessary part of Kirk, but you can’t have both and sell it as an ok message. Rand not being able to look at ‘good’ Kirk after really makes it feel real, her acting in general makes it feel too real.
Mudd’s Women: Women take beauty pills that make them have makeup on and men find them too ugly to marry without them even though they are still beautiful. Also said women were kinda slaves but don’t worry about it! *hand waves*
What Are Little Girls Made Off: I don’t know what the title has to do with the episode. This is the episode where Nurse Chapel is introduced even though she was in a previous episode. And she’s taken more seriously than I thought she would be. Kirk gets an android version of himself made by a guy who he already doesn’t trust and doesn’t predict that maybe that’s not a good idea. Apparently to make an android all you need to do is put one person and one dummy on a giant plate and spin them around real fast. If only the guy who wanted to take apart Data in Measure of a Man knew.
Miri: Problematic. I think the crush angle could’ve worked if it was one sided, but Kirk played into it and it was creepy, and you know, also manipulative, assuming Kirk doesn’t actually feel the same way and is using it to get her to help them. That’s my more charitable interpretation anyway. Also McCoy doesn’t know how vaccines work. Also this episode doesn’t know what puberty is, or rather when it starts. If the virus is supposed to get to you then, that starts round the preteen age. Miri is older than that even though she’s not an adult.
Dagger of the Mind: This was the first one where I was starting to quite like it and it was feeling a little more like Star Trek to me (I know this is the first Star Trek but there’s a certain way 80s/90s era Star Trek feels to me). I really liked the beginning where it was setting up this whole maybe prisoners become violent because of how the prison treats them thing and that it was challenging the viewpoints of some of the main characters, although McCoy was already team prisons are bad and I love him for that. It then went more into the lobotomising asylum type story which was still ok. The guy turned out to be a doctor rather than a prisoner which I didn’t like cause I wanted the prisoners to be humanised. Although you could’ve done a “see anyone, even ‘innocent’ non criminals can be turned violent with this treatment” but they didn’t really emphasise that.
The Corbomite Maneuver: I don’t remember this. Kirk playing poker with some alien I think. Edit: I’m been informed this is the one where the alien turns out to be a lollypop guild kid lip-syncing to an adult’s voice, which I do remember, and probably thought it was some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream.
The Menagerie Part 1 & 2: I laughed so much when they wheeled Pike out and I finally got the Futurama reference in Where No Fan Has Gone Before. I mean I obviously knew the whole thing was a Star Trek Reference, but I had never seen that specific imagery before and now the joke makes sense! Also Pike wanting to go back there seems kinda wrong. I mean they say he’s a vegetable mentally I think but he doesn’t seem to be? I can kinda get that he’s got more incentive to be there than Vina who could probably be helped by Federation doctors but also, he hated that place and spent the whole episode trying to get out of it and it doesn’t feel like a fitting ending for him.
The Conscious of the King: And here begins Star Trek’s love affair with Shakespeare. The only thing I have to say really is, if I didn’t mishear something… a father and daughter played Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? A married couple. And no-one thought that was weird? She was the daughter of a dictator though so there was an Ivanka Trump vibe.
Balance of Terror: Romulans. Spock wasn’t sure that they were related to Vulcans till this ep, though he suspected it. How far back did they split for it to be unknown? I like that the Romulans were sympathetic and we had scenes with them just in their ship from their perspective, and they had some conflicting views with each other. And I really like how Spock was suspected as a spy cause racism and of course he wasn’t and saved that guy cause he’s the better person. That said I found this episode pretty boring and I don’t know why. I kinda wish it turned into a witchhunt situation and was more about the racism on the Enterprise, kinda like The Drumhead from TNG.
Shore leave: Wtf was this episode?! And I don’t ask that because the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland showed up, or that it was a random holodeck planet episode, that’s fine. When the White Rabbit appeared I was just like, ok it’s going to be one of those episodes, that’s fine. Holodeck episodes are fun, I don’t even mind a random magic alien or two appearing for no reason to wreak havoc, say by making everyone larp as Robin Hood, that’s all Star Trek, that’s Star Trek doing a Star Trek, what I didn’t like is this episode goes nowhere! McCoy sees the White Rabbit, we’re off to a good start, Sulu “Swashbuckler at Heart” sees an old gun that he geeks out on, cool. Kirk sees some woman of course. Also there’s some guy fending off a tiger. Random female guest star of the week rather than letting Uhura be part of the story gets her uniform torn by some guy. Then she imagines a princess dress and if that were me as soon as I realised I could think things into existence I would just imagine all my dream clothes. Kirk imagines an old student friend who is attempting very hard to be Irish (thank you Colm Meany for saving us from this).
Anyway so the planets a holodeck cool. And I’m like, Spock should beam down, I wanna know what he’ll see, this is where the episode could get interesting. And then it happens, but nothing happens, they don’t even make much of a deal of him not seeing anything. But then I thought what if! What if Spock didn’t beam down and this was another imagination?! What if he was some alien with some ulterior motive OR better than that we get to see Spock as imagined by whoever was thinking of him. You could go down a very fanfic road if it were Kirk’s imagined or desired view of him, or maybe you could show different people’s perceptions and then they still suspect he’s not acting like himself even though it’s how they see him, but its not quite right, cause it’s not actually how he is. Or at least I thought they were going to find out what was going on. But NOPE none of that happens. Instead leprechaun guy shows up again and Kirk just wonders off to fight him for the next fucking millennium! The uniforms they wore at the academy seem like they were made out of better quality material than that of a Starfleet captain’s. Poor Kirk must be having to replicate new uniforms every other day. Then they laugh I think, and sexual tension is presumably resolved. Then the aliens show up and are like yeah this planet is a holodeck we thought you’d like it also McCoy died but he didn’t and I’m like THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS. But then they decide to party.
It reminded me of a Red Dwarf episode called Better Than Life where they knowingly go into a virtual reality game which is basically the same as this planet. But over time Rimmer keeps sabotaging what he imagines cause he hates himself so much his brain won’t let him have nice things. And it’s still a comedy, but there’s an opportunity for exploring the character’s psyche with this setup that wasn’t done here and that made it boring.
The Galileo Seven: This episode was good!! In contrast to the last one it delivered on promises it made, it had a satisfying ending, it’s probably my favourite so far. The whole time I was like this should be about how Spock can be wrong and logic isn’t everything to be a good commander. But given the quality of the previous episodes wasn’t that great and Spock was always right about everything I didn’t trust them to do that. BUT I WAS WRONG. I thought it would be about how just because you don’t have emotions doesn’t mean you can disregard those of the crew. But instead it was about how he couldn’t predict their enemy wouldn’t act based on emotion rather than logic. And then he admitted he was wrong and helped the guy bury the other guy, and then they were about to die and McCoy was like at least I’ve lived to hear Spock say he fucked up. And then Spock jettisoned the fuel so that it might act like a flare but it gave them less time and I was like no you’ve learned nothing! Don’t just do things that severe without asking your crew. But then after they were saved it was described as an act of desperation rather than anything logical and Kirk was like that’s an emotion isn’t it? You acted on emotion? And Spock was like well yes but I’m not gonna say it like that.
I like that emotion was good actually. I think it’s a fine balance between the message of its ok to be different and using Spock as an analogy for racism, and inadvertently neurodiversity, but also not buying into the idea that emotions = weakness and lack of emotion, or emotional repression = objectivity. Even if you don’t factor emotion into your decisions (which would be impossible unless you don’t experience emotions at all) it doesn’t mean that you don’t have personal biases in your perspective. So I’m glad Spock was wrong for once.
The Squire of Gothos: This is Q this is Proto-Q. He does all the same things that Q does; he shows up in clothes that are way out of date (and he thinks they’re from 900 years ago when they’re clearly early 19th century) and he flirts with the captain. Oh and he has powers, maybe they were computer powers, but not all? And he goes on about humans being brutal, warmongering people but he’s kinda into it. He fights Kirk but there was actual tension so it wasn’t annoying like the one with the Irish guy. And then it turns out he was just a kid exactly like the Futurama episode, except he is a kid not 35. I think him being a kid makes the flirting seem weird though.
Arena: Kirk and the Gorn at Tanagra. Kirk fights a lizard because aliens wanted to encourage them to not fight by telling them to fight. I thought maybe these lizards could be proto Cardassians but then I thought they can’t be they don’t talk, but then he spoke so I thought they could be, but then he was the one who was invaded and was only defending his people so I thought they couldn’t be, unless that was actually just lies and justifications in which case they definitely would be, but then that would undermine the message of the episode so I guess not. I wonder how many leaders have killed each other before these alien’s negotiation tactic actually worked.
Tomorrow is Yesterday: This was fun. There were a lot of twists and turns. I wonder if it was before or after the moonlanding. Every plan just makes it worse and more and more people keep getting exposed to the future. Kirk could’ve easily just closed the door and beamed back at the end but instead opts to punch like six people. (I think this is where “a woman?” “Crewman.” Comes from).
Court Martial: What if Kirk actually did it though? Would that be more interesting? Maybe. At least here he has an age appropriate love interest. She’s prosecuting against him which is surely a conflict of interest. AND she has a uniform with a longer skirt! And it actually looks good, like it looks like an actual dress that she can sit down in and it still looks like a dress and not a crumpled up shirt. It’s elegant but it’s still short. I could see this being an option (for any gender) as a dress uniform but it would still make no sense when they’re serving on a ship.
Return of the Archons: I am LIVING for Spock in a medieval style hood. It’s giving me Peter Cook in a Mother Superior’s wimple in Bedazzled vibe, it’s not quite on that level of beauty, but it’s close. For some reason Sulu returned from the planet in 18th century gear but then everyone else is dressed like it’s the 19th century, with some medieval robes thrown in, and this annoys me more than it should. Maybe it’s because he’s a swashbuckler at heart. Apparently they had a completely peaceful society except for the nightly purge they seemed to have going on that is never mentioned again.
Space Seed: KHHANN! I liked this a lot until the end. I want to know the lore behind Data’s Dad having his middle and last name. Edit: Actually only the middle name is the same and the last name is just similar. I still think there’s lore there (excuse the pun), probably he’s a descendent of his cult followers or something. The story seemed to be eugenics bad and also the type of guy to basically be a eugenics cult leader would be super manipulative and abusive but just charming enough in a relationship. It does a pretty good job of showing the abuse in his relationship with the historian woman, how he switches between being loving and I guess charming, and flattering to being abusive and degrading. I wish that the historian woman could find someone that she can explore domination and submission with consensually cause that seems like it would be what she really wants. Anyway but in the end they just let him go? Like he tried to take over the ship but they were like here have a colony. They compared the place to Australia when the colonists arrived at Botany Bay and that it could be... I forget what the word was but basically ‘civilised’ and No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE NO Australia was already populated and didn’t need eugenicist cult leaders who were demonstrably bad to show up make it ‘better.’ AND THEN the historian is given the choice to go with them and she does and its framed like it’s good? Or at least ok? When they just did a pretty decent job of showing how abusive and manipulative he was and she had redeemed herself by turning against him? So I get that they probably wanted to bring him back although they’re probably not gonna bring her back, but they could’ve easily had him escape instead.
A Taste of Armageddon: Suicide machines. I forget the rest.
This Side of Paradise: SEX POLLEN! Well it’s more fall in love pollen, I guess, for one character. There’s a woman and there’s the music and the soft focus and BUT WAIT then the camera cuts to Spock not Kirk! Because she has taste. It’s about this point that I think the ‘Spock’s the most popular but Shatner wants to remain the star so we’ll emphasise their character’s relationship thus inadvertently inventing slash fic’ might’ve started. It’s time for a love triangle! She makes Spock get the sex pollen, which is not getting consent, and then he falls in love with her and is climbing trees and is all happy. Kirk can’t get a text back from Spock. Then Kirk and two others get the pollen except Kirk didn’t, but he did, but anyway I thought everyone would be horny but they weren’t they were just brainwashed. Soon Kirk is all alone on the bridge, then he gets the pollen and is happy to live as a poly triad but then he gets angry and it’s gone. Then he calls Spock to the ship and approaches the situation in the only way Kirk knows how: Homoerotic punching! So they fight for not long enough and then Spock is cured but he’s a little sad, there’s sadness in his voice, it’s not quite so matter of fact. Then Spock’s gf gets sad and the sex pollen is gone too, Spock might still have feelings for her but he has responsibilities to the ship and “to that man on the bridge” which if he was saying to just mean once again the whole ship, and its mission and the captain in a professional sense, seems a little redundant, which would surely be illogical.
The colonists get sad that they haven’t done anything for years because the sex pollen made them unambitious but I would argue maybe the sex pollen was right and you were better off just vibing. This episode was more interesting and less silly than I thought the creator of sex pollen would be. At the end Spock says that for the first time in his life he was happy. While every other character could still easily become addicted to a thing like that they could at least know they would experience happiness or any feelings again in their life, for Spock it was going back to nothingness.
Devil in the Dark: Spock calls Kirk Jim which I don’t think he has before, when he’s talking over the communicator and he’s worried he’s in danger, there’s some actual fear or urgency in his voice. Also the moment that got me was when Kirk wanted to send Spock back the ship cause he didn’t trust him to kill the creature and Spock was like “but… I’m not really as useful there I am here… so…” If I was writing it I would’ve played that up more but anyway, I like that they didn’t kill the creature. I like that McCoy said the thing. And also said “I’m starting to think I can cure a rainy day.” He’s my favourite.
Errand of Mercy: It’s kinda becoming the Kirk Spock show now, I like the ship but I miss McCoy. I like that the passive pacifists who Kirk was so angry with were actually more powerful. And KLINGONS! Oh yeah the orientalism, the yellow peril, it’s… it’s there all right. They were played a lot colder here, a little Cardassian maybe, still bloodthirsty but I don’t believe this guy has to do it himself to feel honourable, he can kill for sure but he’s fine ordering someone else to do it and being a chessmaster too.
The Alternative Factor: God this one was boring. But it does have a man with the worst beard wig I’ve ever seen. Now he’s stuck fighting the bad version of himself or something to save the universe. So remember that when you’re watching later Trek series, all of this could suddenly be destroyed if one of them gets tired.
The City on the Edge of Forever: UHURA GETS TO GO ON AN AWAY MISSION! Aaaand she doesn’t get to do anything :/ The usual three go back in time! To the 60s again! Oh wait… that’s meant to be the 30s? Oh. That’s some tall hair that lady has for the 30s. But at least said lady is a character, she’s a little perfect but she does things, she has strong beliefs, she might be written a little idealised, but she is still written like a person compared to almost every other Kirk love interest. “He says it (captain) even when he doesn’t say it” is an interesting line. So she has to die, I still think they could’ve just convinced her that you don’t make friends with fascists but ok. They never say what the Clark Gable movie is.
Operation Annihilate! Kirk’s brother dies, and so does his sister in law, leaving his nephew without parents. This is never resolved and the episode ends with them laughing about how Spock got his eyesight back.
#star trek tos#star trek tos reaction#star trek reaction#star trek tos season 1#star trek tos season 1 reaction#star trek tos first time viewing#Spock#Kirk#McCoy#Uhura#Sulu#is a swashbuckler at heart#crushing on number 1#you don't make friends with fascists#sex pollen#spirk#is a fun ship#wtf was shore leave though#futurama#at least I've lived to hear Spock say he fucked up - Dr. McCoy
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Caught in a Blizzard - Part 3
Summary: Luna and Chris can finally fly back to the States, only to discover that the world gotten to know of their little adventures.
Pairing: Chris Evans x Luna Hwang (Asian OFC)
Warnings: Mentions of sex, nothing serious.
Wordcount: 4.2k
A/N: if you want to be on the taglist, just let me know! Also, I love to read your guys’ thoughts and feedback xx
Masterlist // Part 2 //
After having tons of sex with Chris Evans on the first day of being stuck in a hotel room, I have come to the conclusion that he is a beast in bed, but an absolute sweetheart in aftercare. We still can’t leave our hotel room (his hotel room, excuse me), but we have plenty of stuff to do around here. After the long shower we took and indeed had sex again, he had room service bring up some fresh pairs of underwear for me to wear.
As a joke I said that we could walk around naked instead, not bother wearing clothes, but I didn’t realize that he would take that seriously. The only time he forces me to wear a shirt, is when we’re cooking, because he doesn’t want me to get hurt.
We’re in bed together, my sweaty naked body pressed against his, my center still throbbing in slight pain. The way this man uses me, is something no one has ever done before. I can’t help but think back about how he bend me over the bar, pushed me against the wall. But after that, he completely changes.
He presses soft kisses on my skin, massages my shoulders and whispers sweet nothings in my ear. I think I will dream about this for years and no man can ever do these things to me that Chris did. Poor guy who is going to have sex with me after Chris Evans, because this man raised the bar.
‘You are so beautiful,’ Chris whispers and I can hear the smile on his face. ‘Has anyone ever told you that?’
‘They did,’ I admit, ‘but no one seemed to mean it like you do.’
‘That’s what I thought, sweetheart,’ he chuckles.
I place my hand on his chest, as I turn on my stomach. I look at his beautiful face. Of course I’m thinking about our eventual next steps. What will happen once we get out of this hotel room? What will happen when we are back in the States? Will he want to continue this? Because I know I want to, but I get that he doesn’t want to continue this. I mean, he is almost forty, I’m just a young woman, who will turn twenty four soon. Maybe it shouldn’t become more, but should it stay like this. Just some lovely sexual encounters when we had nowhere to go.
‘You are so handsome, Chris,’ I whisper. ‘And so kind.’ I want to place my leg over his, but I softly wince.
‘You okay?’ he asks and he looks so genuinely worried, something that makes my heart swell.
‘I’m just sore,’ I chuckle.
‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to mean to hurt you.’
‘You didn’t hurt me, Chris.’ I chuckle and give him a kiss on his bearded cheek. ‘I’m just impressed that you can keep up.’
‘Just because I’m going to be forty soon, doesn’t mean I’m dead or in desperate use of viagra, Luna.’
I can’t help but laugh. ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ I whisper. ‘I’m going to take a bath.’
‘You want a bath?’ Chris sits up and adds: ‘I can arrange that right now.’ He tells me to stay put as he walks bare naked to the bathroom that is attached to this bedroom. I smile as I think about the things he did to me. I don’t want this to ever end. This blizzard can go on for life, because I want to have this.
Forever.
I hear the water running and he walks back into the room with a smile. He crawls back on the bed and gives me a kiss, followed by tons more. ‘You ready for a bath, beautiful?’ He lifts me up without a hitch and carries me to the bathroom. He slowly lets me sink into the warm water and he gets in behind me.
He massages my shoulders, as he kisses my temple. ‘Tell me something nice, sweetheart.’
I can’t help but chuckle. ‘Like what?’
‘Doesn’t matter. Tell me what you think when you are on stage.’
‘I don’t think a lot,’ I say. ‘It’s almost like a second nature, you know. I hear the beats in my in-ears and I just go and— Chris, how can I have a serious conversation with you, when you’re massaging my breasts?’
‘Sorry, sorry, sorry,’ he chuckles. ‘I don’t know what you are doing to me, but you are insatiable.’
I turn around in the water, as it gushes over the edge, but neither of us seem to care. I give him a long kiss and sigh deeply, as I look into his beautiful eyes. ‘Chris, when we get home, what are we going to do?’
‘Well, I have to go to LA for filming, but I know for a fact that I want to continue doing this.’ He smiles and kisses me. ‘Because I haven’t felt like this in years.’
‘Is it because I’m a younger model?’
He rolls his eyes as he scoffs. ‘It’s because you are who you are. You are smart, you are an amazing performer and all in all, you are exactly my type.’
‘Good thing that you are mine as well.’
✘ ✘ ✘
Two days later, it’s safe for the planes to fly again, so we can finally go back to the USA. Chris is going to LA, while I have to stay in New York City. Despite that, he decided to travel with me, changing flights on JFK.
The following two days were filled with conversations about his anxiety, my lack of trust in people. We had sex, took long showers and baths, we cooked together, watched movies and had more sex. Besides the fact that Chris Evans is an absolute animal with a stamina that guys all over the world are jealous of (I mean, I had to adopt a complete new walk, because of how sore I am), he is also the greatest guy to be around with. He is funny, he is intelligent and I’ve gotten to know him on a deeper level.
The way he told me about the things that go through his mind when he deals with an anxiety attack, it was so vulnerable. Besides that, thanks to him, I’ve gotten to know myself on a deeper level. I know who I am now. Okay, I have a better idea now of who I am.
During our flight, I took multiple naps against his large and strong frame and I really dread the moment where we have to say our goodbyes. I hate saying goodbye. I’m not even good with goodbyes. Every time I had to say goodbye to my foster family, I remember crying, because I had met these new people and I wanted to prove that I was a good foster kid. But I was forced to another family and you never knew how long that was going to last.
Saying goodbye to my band members, was a whole new level weird. They were mad, but on the other hand they seemed to care about me. About us as a group, despite everything I did.
Chris holds onto my hand when we get off the plane, his fingers intertwined through mine. Since we don’t want to be recognized, we’re both wearing a bucket hat, that is completely covering our eyes.
We stop walking and I realize that this is it. I have to say goodbye to him now. I sigh deeply. ‘You have to hurry,’ I say to him. ‘You don’t want to miss your flight.’
Chris simply nods, before he wraps his arms rightly around my upper body. ‘When I’m done in LA, we’ll see each other again,’ he assures me. ‘Besides, I have your number and was going to stalk you anyways, if you don’t mind.’
I smile. ‘I wouldn’t mind at all, mister Evans.’
He presses a long kiss on my lips, adjusting my hat after he lets me go. ‘Get home safely, Luna.’
‘Yeah, you too.’
He waves when he walks off and he looks like such a dork doing so. I have to say that without a doubt, these were the best days of my life. Touring around the world with my girls was amazing. Releasing my first album was fantastic.
But getting to know Chris Evans like I’ve gotten to know him in these days, was next level.
I hail a cab and tell the driver my address. I lean back, watching as snow falls out of the sky, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was in London.
I get out when I’m at my apartment building and I can’t help but to whistle as I walk towards the elevator, getting in and pressing on the button with the sixteen on it. My mood can’t be killed now, I think to myself, as I walk to my apartment door. Chris has my number, he’ll annoy me with texts and we’ll definitely meet again. How many times have I fantasized about this? There was one celebrity in the entire world that I wanted to meet, that I wanted to get to know more and now I know him.
I open the door of my apartment and I attach my phone to its charger. It died when I left the hotel with Chris, but I’d rather spend my time with him. Besides, his charger didn’t fit my phone. I walk around my place for awhile, pouring in some water for me and when I walk back to my phone, I see I have messages in the Brave Elegance chat.
Why would they text me? We haven’t used that chat in months since the break up. Did something happen? Or worse, did someone die?
Pixie: Uh, Luna, you need to tell us something. Are you okay?
Faith: What happened?
Rosie: Is Luna okay?
Daliah: OMG IS IT TRUE?
Rosie: Hello, maybe one of you can tell us what happened?
Pixie: Shit, she is not receiving the messages.
Faith: Please answer the fucking question, guys. It’s not that hard. What happened? What is true?
Daliah: TMZ released pictures of Luna and Chris Evans in a hotel room after the Graham Norton show. They are pretty graphic.
Pixie: Daliah, you are an adult now, you can just say that she is naked, just like Chris.
Rosie: Oh my God, Luna!
Faith: We can’t leave you alone for two seconds can we?
My heart stops beating for a few seconds. I quickly google my own name, together with Chris’ and I audibly gasp. It’s true. The pictures of us… No, this can’t happen! I don’t want this to happen.
What sick bastard would make pictures of this? Oh my God, I’m so naked. This can’t be true.
Not only is this terrible for my own career, but for Chris’ as well.
Luna: Shit…
Pixie: You want us to come over?
Luna: You guys made it pretty clear the last time we saw each other that you didn’t want to see me anymore…
Faith: We are aware that we did say that, but we know you, Luna. We want to be there for you.
Rosie: No matter how we disbanded, we will always be Brave Elegance. Besides, I think we need to talk about not only this, but about the entire disbandment as well.
Daliah: I don’t care if you don’t want to see us, because I’m in a cab already.
Rosie: I’ll be bringing the needed snacks!
Pixie: See you in a bit, Luna!
✘ ✘ ✘
I wouldn’t call the pictures pornographic, but I’m pretty naked. I feel so violated, being pictured like this during some intimate times. I know exactly what Chris Evans is doing in those pictures to me. It is even shown how he lifts me up in his arms, to carry me to the bathroom.
I do have to thank the universe that the paparazzi only took pictures of the first time we had sex. I can’t imagine them seeing the positions and the things we did later on. I mean, Kama Sutra seemed pretty prude compared to what we did.
I’m dragged out of my thoughts when I see all of the members in front of my apartment door. Sweet little Daliah in her bright pink coat, tough Pixie with her hair cut short, tall Rosie who dyed her hair blonde again, because she thinks it fits her better (that’s true) and Faith who looks like she doesn’t care, but I know her. I know she cares.
‘Hi,’ I say.
‘Luna,’ Daliah says, being the first to engulf me in her arms. I never thought I would ever see them again, let alone hug them. I place my chin on her shoulder, as I pull her body closer to mine. ‘We are here for you, Moonshine.’
I can’t help but smile when I hear my nickname again. It has been so long.
‘I’m such an idiot,’ I say, as I let go of the youngest of the five of us.
‘You are not,’ Rosie says, cupping my cheek. ‘We do need to talk about this and thank goodness I brought snacks. I have chips and chocolate, but I also brought pretzels. I know you don’t like them, but the rest of us do, so just don’t eat it.’
The rest of them walks in and Faith looks at me for a second. ‘Whether you like it or not,’ she says, ‘we’re always a team.’
I don’t know about that actually. It’s all my fault really that we broke up and I guess this is Karma hitting back at me, in a very cumbersome way.
We sit around the table, snacks and drinks in the middle and I think about the moment Brave Elegance was formed. We were young, we were naive and very nervous. But somehow it worked, it clicked, despite being five totally different girls from totally different backgrounds. The only thing that we had in common, was being Korean American teenage girls.
‘So,’ Pixie says, ‘correct me if I’m wrong, but you went to London for an interview, afterwards met Chris Evans again, but drunk, went with him to his hotel room where you had sex with him and TMZ managed to take picture of the occasion.’
‘That sums it up, yeah,’ I mumble.
‘Was that the only time you had sex with him?’ Rosie asks and my cocked eyebrow must be the answer to her seemingly rhetorical question. ‘Right.’
‘Have you called Chris already?’ Daliah asks.
I shake my head. ‘He only has my number, so I can’t reach out to him and I don’t think that this is the moment to slide into his DM’s.’
They seem to agree. ‘Do you like him?’ Faith asks.
You girls have no fucking idea. ‘I do,’ I whisper. ‘It was nice to talk to someone. To not be alone.’ I close my eyes and think about what Chris says. There will be other band members, but I think he is wrong. There will not be others like them.
Despite the disbandment, despite all the underlying issues we had, we are a team, like Faith said and we always will be one. They are here to support me and that says something about how much we care about each other right?
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘What for, Luna?’ Faith asks. She was the oldest of the group and basically our mom. Making sure that we had our passports with us, that we had slept well, that we’ve eaten. We had long talks on the balcony of our dorm room during our X-Factor days. She may not understood my situation, my history with the foster care system and my inability to make friends, but she did listen and did care.
‘For not being a team player.’
For a second I can forget about the pictures, because I can’t talk about that and about my bond with Chris Evans, when there are so many unspoken sorrows and apologies between us.
Rosie shakes her head. ‘No, you don’t have to be. It was unfair of us to blame it all on you. We should’ve spoken to you and took the time to understand you. Not simply start pointing fingers at you, while we were all to blame.’
While we were all to blame? I don’t understand. ‘What?’
Pixie sighs and folds her hands on the table. ‘We were wrong all along, Luna,’ she says. ‘When we broke the news to you that you weren’t a team player, we just looked at what we experienced. We never once looked at the situation from your perspective. Because we, the ultimate mean girls, had forced you out, we met up. First to gossip about you, bad mouthing you, but eventually Faith had the brilliant idea to go to group therapy.’
Faith shrugs. ‘It felt wrong, to bad mouth about you. It couldn’t be just you. And after a few sessions, we realized that what happened to you growing up… It became a normal for you. We understood your need to prove yourself, that you were good enough and even better.’
‘But when I did that,’ I say, ‘I pushed you guys down so hard.’
Daliah nods. ‘We know, but we also understand. Besides, it was obvious during our X-Factor that you were the best. I never really understood why they put you in a group.’
Rosie shakes her head. ‘That was unbelievable. You had the stamina and the stage presence and the talent to become a soloist. You have it all, Luna.’
‘You can sing, you can dance, you write and you can rap. All that on top of being the most beautiful woman on this earth,’ Pixie adds.
‘So… You guys are not mad at me?’
Faith holds my hand on the table. ‘No, of course not. We were wrong too. We were not acting mature and for that I’m sorry.’
‘Me too,’ the other girls say in unison.
‘We should’ve taken the time to realize how much you did for us,’ Pixie says with a smile. ‘We watched those compilations where it was shown how much you do for us, in a different way. You took care of us like a true friend.’
‘I mean, you wrote that diss track when that thing Justin and I had got leaked. You ruined his career, Luna,’ Rosie chuckles.
‘Though we might not be a group anymore,’ Daliah says, ‘we will always care about you and we might not perform anymore, we will always be Brave Elegance.’
I let out a shaky sigh. Is this truly happening? Do I have my friends back? ‘I’m truly sorry,’ I say. ‘I should’ve done something with my desperate need to prove myself.’
Faith shakes her head. ‘No, not really. We should’ve done something. As a team.’
‘We’re all good again?’ I ask, just in case.
Daliah nods. ‘Of course we are, silly. We are Brave Elegance and we will always be.’
‘You have no idea how much that means to me,’ I whisper. ‘Thank you for having my back.’
Faith pats my hand. ‘Okay, this a beautiful moment, obviously, but we have business to do.’
‘Right,’ Pixie says. ‘We have to wait for Chris to call you, since he is probably on a plane and you don’t have his number. So, I think that we should call your new manager, explain to her what happened and she can contact Chris’ agent or manager or whoever.’
‘I don’t want to call my manager,’ I mumble.
Faith chuckles. ‘Of course you don’t. I have an idea. I call your manager, so she can think about a nice statement, possibly together with his manager. While I do that, Pixie, Rosie and Daliah will get the snacks ready, we’ll catch up, try to forget this situation, until Chris Evans calls.’
‘Aren’t we going to talk about how sex is with Chris Evans?’ Pixie asks. ‘Because sure as hell I want to know about that.’
‘Get the snacks ready,’ Daliah says. ‘Talking about sex is always easier with sex.’
I watch my former band members spread out over my apartment. Faith is calling with Gia, while the rest is indeed getting the snacks ready.
I scroll through my phone, desperately searching for the responses to the multiple articles that have been written. I know it’s going to hurt my feelings, but I’m self destructive like that. I need to read it.
But it’s all what I expected it to be. I’m the whore, Chris deserves better and I’m ruining his career. Someone even mentioned that it’s probably because I didn’t have a nice and stable upbringing and that I have severe daddy issues.
‘Okay, don’t read that,’ Rosie says, placing my phone on the table. ‘That’s not good for you.’
When Faith is back with us, she quickly tells us that Gia is working something out, trying to get ahold of Chris’ agent right away.
Like nothing happened, we start talking like the good times. I can’t seem to talk about Chris yet, so the rest of the girls talk about their lives. I find out that Faith is going to be starring in a movie soon, playing the older sister of the main character, but she can’t tell too much about it yet. I can see her as an actress.
Rosie is back in college, studying criminology. Pixie is dating a wonderful girl, while she is working as a talent agent for a different record company. Daliah and Michael are still together and she is actually trying to start a family.
I bet she will be a fantastic mom.
’So how about you and Chris?” Faith asks. ‘Was it just sex or…?
I shake my head. ‘It wasn’t just sex,’ I whisper. ‘It was a nice extra, of course, but I felt so loved. He cared about me, wanted to know how I was feeling. I just fear that that will be out of the window, after this.’
My phone starts to ring, causing me to yelp. It’s a number that I don’t know. I’m afraid, scared. What if it’s someone who wants to harass me? It wouldn’t be the first time.
‘Pick up,’ Daliah urges.
I take a deep breath, before I pick up the phone and answer the phone with a shaky ‘Hello?’ after I bring the phone to my ear.
‘Hi, sweetheart.’
My heart nearly drops to my feet. Hearing his warm voice, it’s just enough for my emotions to be pushed over the edge. The entire time I held my head high. I got the girls over, I barely cried about it.
However hearing him…
A sniffle leaves my lips and I bury my face in my hand.
‘Oh, no, no, no,’ Chris says. ‘Please, Luna, don’t cry.’
‘That’s fucking easy for you to say,’ I snap. ‘I’m the whore here, you’re the poor actor who I seduced and dragged with me.’
‘Easy,’ Daliah says, though she doesn’t know what he says. .
Chris doesn’t say anything and that makes me feel even more guilty. ‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper. ‘You can’t help it either. I’m really sorry. You are just trying to be nice.’
‘I understand,’ he tells me.
‘Where are you?’ I ask him, as I hear a lot of people in the background.
‘Just landed at LAX,’ he says. ‘My agent called me. He told me about the pictures and that your manager had called him, about making a statement. I just needed to hear your voice and needed to know whether or not you are alright.’
‘As you can tell, I’m doing fucking fantastic.’
‘You can be honest with me,’ he simply says, after a long and deep sigh.
I shake my head. ‘I don’t know what to do anymore.’
He stays silent for a moment and I’m afraid of his reaction. He is going to say that this is my own fault. That I’m to blame. ‘You know,’ he says, ‘I’m coming to New York. I can’t stand the thought of you going through this by yourself, when we should go through this together.’
Excuse me? ‘Chris, no,’ I say, ‘you can’t be serious. You can’t come to New York.’
‘I’m dead serious,’ he says.
Faith takes the phone from me, puts it on speaker and says: ‘Hi Chris, this is Faith.’
‘Oh.’He seems confused. ‘Faith as in Brave Elegance Faith?’
‘The one and only. I’m here with the rest of the girls and I know that Luna really wants you here. I think that that would make it a whole lot easier for us to talk about this.’
‘Well, I’m already looking around to see if I can book the earliest flight back to New York.’
I take the phone from Faith’s hands and say: ‘But Chris, what about your movie? You told me that it was important.’
‘I don’t care about that. You are more important right now.’
For a few seconds I don’t know what to say. I’m more important right now? I look to the girls, who nearly turn into a puddle. ‘I can’t ask this from you.’
‘Good thing you didn’t then. See you in a bit, sweetheart.’
Taglist: @diegos-butt // @henrythickcavill
#chris evans#chris evans x ofc#chris evans x original female character#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans fanfic#caught in a blizzard#chris evans x singer#chris evans x luna hwang
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ik youre not a therapist and i dont want like therapy or anything but im 17 and ive known i was bipolar for 3 years now and i dont know how im supposed to live the rest of my life like this. im so fucking tired. how do you stay alive
you sent this a couple days ago & i’m posting at a weird time so i’m not sure if you’ll see it but.
i’ve been looking at this message trying to decide how to respond
because i don’t know your situation, your symptoms, how you’re feeling, whether you’ve had positive or negative experiences with medication, psychiatrists, therapists, hospitals, all that related shit
the bipolar life advice i give to people is vastly different depending on the individual. it’s not a one size fits all thing. and there’s never even a guarantee that my advice will be the right choice
so since i don’t know about your situation or experiences or what you want, i’m not gonna tell you what to do. i’m gonna focus on the “how do you stay alive” question and try to pen down some personal feelings. and if they help then great, and if they don’t then... this is the most honest i can be
(you can always ask another question to get a better answer. my inbox is a coin slot and i am a vending machine of varied-degrees-of-helpfulness replies offered at varied-inconvenient-too-long-intervals)
-
how do i stay alive
it’s a 2-parter, actually. i pondered how to condense my thoughts/feelings, and it came down to these two things
1. love
2. spite
-
1. love
the spite is easier to write about than the love. love is hard to reach when i feel like shit.
spite is where i go when i want to die. love is where i go when i want to want to live.
maybe i don’t want to be alive. but maybe i wish i did. spite doesn’t help me much there. spite keeps me afloat, but it doesn’t make the floating pleasurable. there’s more to life than outlasting everything that ever hurt me. i need a reason to continue when there’s no enemy to fight
so. love
i almost wrote about the spite alone because that’s rawer, realer, more visceral. that’s the shit that CONNECTS when everything feels hopeless. but it would be a lie of omission. spite is only one of the major food groups, you’ll waste away from malnutrition if you eat it for every meal. or at least, i will.
“so you’ve got a bunch of people you love,” you say, “and you stick around for them. cry on them. support each other. like each other. fine.” you’ve heard this story before
nah.
i mean - yes. i have people i love. i live with two partners, i’ve got a third girlfriend, i’ve got a long-distance platonic life partner. i have a support net, i have a family i’ve forged, i have confidence that i’m not alone. i have, in a bare-bones checklist sort of way, fulfilled my physiological human need for connection
but i could live without every single one of them. i’m not dependent upon any of them for my survival. i’m not dependent upon them for love, given or received. (this isn’t a callous cruelty, it won’t hurt them if/when they read this. i’ve told them all this, they know. they’re glad of it.)
so. what the fuck does “love” mean, then?
the short explanation is that it’s my love of life, of things in the world. it’s all the little connections i’ve made. every time i love something, a hook tethers to the universe. hook enough tethers, and i no longer feel the need to float away. no dissolution of self today, sir
the rest of this section is some of the things i love. partially it’s to show how i connect to little things and ascribe magic to the mundane. partially it’s because i like thinking about things i love, i like typing them out, and i like that i could keep going for thousands and thousands of words.
i am laying in bed at 7:30 AM with the lights off and the shades drawn. blue light comes through the slats because it’s the better time of year, the one where i finally get vitamin D, the one where the birds chirp at 4AM, the one where the sky isn’t impenetrably black til 10PM.
there’s a weighted blanket tucked around my legs. my partner rafi bought it for us to share because it’s soothing and heavy and comforting and helps with my physical pain. right now it’s soft on my skin and if i get too emotional as i write, i can pull it over me like a cloak until i’m settled.
the apartment’s walls are blank because we’ve spent eight months intending to put art up and keep forgetting. but there’s a newly-unearthed dining area in the kitchen because i finally shifted around the unpacked boxes that were dominating the space. it’s new and it surprises me every time i walk out there. it’s open and inviting and bright and it’s a sign that we’re making this place home.
we’ll put a cheap IKEA table by the window and we’ll probably never eat family dinners there - why would we sit in hard chairs and make stiff conversation when we could all cuddle on the couch - but my partner dev will create a place to do their art and the surface will be constantly littered with drying watercolor experiments.
we’ll hang our art one of these days, too, when our collective adhd offers a miraculous combo of remembering + having time + having motivation + having inspiration. rafi has the most art because they’ve been collecting it for years. i have to start smaller. i’m not used to keeping physical objects. dev has a few pieces thrifted or bought at local artist events or painted themselves
so we’ll put art up in the living room, my single “you are magic” flower print alongside a naked monster lady that dev fell in love with when we browsed art at a yuletide event months ago, alongside rafi’s monster girls and comic characters and book characters and literature art and quotes and abstract pieces and whatever else they have hiding in boxes.
my head protests that naked monster ladies do not belong in the living room, although the picture isn’t overtly sexual. but then i remember that they do, actually, because it’s our space and we can do whatever we want with it as long as the lease isn’t broken. there isn’t anyone in the local social circles who’d be perturbed by the decor, as far as i know. i don’t have to hide anything from my parents because i live 3600 miles from them, and even though i miss my mom, the distance is good for me
there are two exquisite chairs on the porch. they fold and recline from thrones to nearly-horizontal beds. there are pillows and cupholders and trays and specific spaces for both a book and a phone. i can sit there while the morning sun rises and read or play word games or browse tumblr, cup of coffee beside me, trees shielding my eyes from stabby sunbeams
there are remnants of the last tenant’s garden in one corner of the yard. we’ve done fuckall for yardwork but plants struggle through anyway. some seem to have sprouted by accident. mushroom clusters populate the edges of the fence. the apartment squirrel (there are probably several, but i like to think it’s a single energetic creature) runs back and forth along the fence & i always lose my train of thought & then laugh my ASS off at the “SQUIRREL! XD” adhd moment. birds kick up leaf litter and play on the ground looking for insects to eat, they wiggle their tail feathers and flap their wings and sometimes they disappear and then return with friends
a little more than eleven months ago, i packed all of dev’s and my shit into a uhaul and drove and drove and drove to get to this city i’d never been in before to live with a partner i’d never cohabitated with. we were homeless for more than a month, we weathered some financial disasters, we met some great people and some shitty ones
on the drive i fell in love with the sky. i didn’t know how big it can get - actually, that’s a lie. i’d FORGOTTEN how big it can get. i’ve loved the sky thirty miles out to sea, no land in sight in any direction, just blue water and blue space above. i’ve loved the vastness and the yawning beneath me and the knowledge that everything is BIGGER than i can fathom. the depth of the sea doesn’t frighten me, it’s home. i don’t want to die, but if i had to, the ocean makes a soothing grave
in north dakota i discovered that i’ve been partially blind my whole life, which is a different tale that showed me i’ll never stop learning myself. in montana we struggled up thousands of feet of mountains with the car huffing and puffing at the trailer’s weight, and when we finally coasted downward, it felt like sudden freefall. we ended up in the pitch darkness of night on sheer winding interstates with midnight construction projects forcing detours. the mountains felt hungry, they had teeth. mountain cliffs are much scarier to me than the ocean depths
i bought a red bull and poured a little out the driver’s side door as an offering to hermes, because i’m not particularly religious but i’ll take help where i can get it. slammed that back in a few gulps and shook to bright-eyed alertness and ended up behind a slow-driving red pickup truck that guided us over about a hundred miles of mountain terrain
i thought, that’s just some construction worker driving between sites. the roads are empty at this time of night, but it’s an interstate. of course we’d end up behind someone. this isn’t divine intervention. this isn’t the benevolence of a god
i thought, but it can be a little magic. if i want it to be.
and it was. it stays with me.
god help me but i’ve been writing this stream of consciousness for more than 30 minutes and i’ve said nothing. i haven’t talked about the city, the parks, the people, the conversations, the books, the tv shows, the movies, the communities, the library, the animals, writing, reading, singing, acting, swimming, analyzing, creating, supporting, building. and i can keep going. i can come up with hundreds and hundreds of things i love and i can write paragraphs about all of them
so i’ll stop here. you get the picture. love is the life i’ve made for myself, the surroundings i’ve built, the quiet moments i can capture, the inspiration i pin, the magic i commit to memory.
i had to work so damn hard for every single bit of this.
i’ll be fucking damned if i let it go because my brain tried to trick me into thinking death is better.
-
2. spite
there are people who want me to die.
i don’t mean that i have a giant entourage of personalized enemies who curse my name and plan my individual demise. although there have been plenty of people who have not liked me much. probably some of them would enjoy my death. i don’t give a shit about that
there are people who want me dead because i am a dot on a grid they dislike. a faceless anonymous enemy who meets too many bad criteria with numbers and percentages and shrinking majorities and shifting public opinion
because i’m gay. because i’m bipolar. because i’m autistic. because i’m a dropout. because i grew up poor. because my spine curves and my shoulders ache. because i squandered my potential, because i didn’t have enough potential, because i didn’t love god enough, because i love the wrong gods, because i don’t worship, because i worship wrong, because i didn’t seek a husband, because i never wanted one, because i talk too much, because i can’t be controlled, because i chose to leave the fold when i realized it was suffocating me, because i’m ugly, because i’m gorgeous, because my body belongs to me
pick your poison.
this bothered me growing up, a lot. i knew i did not deserve to die. but if enough people tell you that you should, a little part of you will wonder if they’re right. that little part might become bigger the closer they get and the louder they shout and the longer they wear you down
we know the rough shape of this story, i don’t need to tell it. mine was messy and not triumphant and i survived more by chance than premeditation.
i’m older now. by and large i’m still young as shit - i’m 24 - but GOD i am LEAGUES away from 15, 16, 17. i know who i am. i know what i want. i know how to get it. and when i don’t know that, i find out. i tell the truth. i ask for what i want. i use my time how i want. i do what i want.
there are days that i can’t access the “love” side of the equation. no finding poetry in birdsong or sugared coffee for me, thank you, i feel like shit and the world is awful and everything is too big and fast and cruel and everything wants me to die and it wants everything i love to die, too. everyone i love. it’s all garbage. the good doesn’t touch me
trauma is difficult to describe. the difficulty is compounded by the fact that my trauma is influenced by my various neurodivergences, bipolar included. i never know if i’m feeling what other people do. i don’t know if i’m voicing unpalatable feelings others are afraid to express - or if i’m just othering myself, admitting i’m not as human as everyone else.
there is something malevolent and monstrous inside me. i don’t touch it all the time. but i don’t pretend it isn’t there. it sits in my chest and molders or radiates or oozes. it presses at my throat. it curdles in my stomach. it hurts what it touches, whether that’s me or someone i love or someone i hate. it sets things aflame with no regard for the precious or the fragile. it tears down walls and razes shelters and begs for apocalyptic rain.
i can give this thing names, clinical descriptors. i know what it is on a diagnostic chart, in a ponderous article, in an academic debate, in a fiction novel, in a war movie, in a memoir. there are a thousand ways to describe this thing. the descriptors aren’t important. what is important is this - i have learned that most people do not walk side-by-side with a tornado-hurricane-hellfire-weaponized-open-nuclear-reactor. this is not a “normal” expression of human emotion, this is not me trying to ascribe power to “bad bipolar feelings.” this thing lives in me and i know why it’s there and it is not designed to be held/silenced/muzzled/controlled by my body.
it does not help to pretend this thing does not exist. it does not help to try to reason it away or ignore it or tell it to stop. it wants what it wants, it does what it does. possibly if i was better at therapy or stubbornness then i wouldn’t resign myself to that
but it is fucking EXHAUSTING to try to fight something that’s part of me. to try to reshape it, rename it, pare it down, make it consumable for the masses. it’s a war i have never won and it’s a war that i will lose if i keep fighting it. i cannot fight with myself. i cannot beat my monster into submission. if we’re gonna battle like that, head to head, me trying to cut it down, me trying to be the hero, it rearing back like a fire-breathing dragon,
then it’s stronger. it’s always stronger.
so i surrender.
but that’s not where i stop.
can’t fight it. can’t kill it. can’t muzzle it. can’t reshape it, can’t disarm it, can’t contain it.
alright.
so what now.
if the surrender was a full giving-up, this is where i’d passively accept that i’m doomed to hurt and destroy everything precious to me. can’t fix it. will lose everything, will never experience or deserve happiness, will make the world worse simply by existing.
that sure does sound like impending-doom rhetoric. hop skip and a jump from some dire-ass conclusions.
so fuck that, i say.
here’s a better question.
if it has to get out, then what happens if i control where it goes?
here’s the thing.
the monster doesn’t care what it kills or destroys or hurts.
“have a conscience, care about things, remember love, stop yourself, don’t do this don’t do this don’t do this.”
losing battle. lost war.
it’s not the monster’s fault. the monster doesn’t have complex motivations or hates or fears. it exists to protect me through scorched earth. a remnant of a chemical imbalance, maladaptive coping mechanism, bipolar crazy, traumatized injury. it doesn’t know that its job is obsolete.
i can’t change the monster.
but my mind is a separate thing. my mind knows what matters, what my priorities are, what i find precious, what i want to protect. my mind remembers all the things the monster doesn’t.
my mind has learned things the monster can’t.
when i fight it head-on, the malevolence is stronger than me. but as i am, walking with it, sitting in my bed writing this while examining the void and the consciousness, describing it, quantifying it,
that’s when i’m stronger.
and with my mind as the stronger force, i can decide where the monster goes. what it touches. what it destroys. what it burns. where the ashes land.
i do not want to be a destructive person. i want to be someone who builds, repairs, changes. i want to make the world better for kids like me. i want to stop pouring more gasoline onto a fire that’s been burning since long before i was born. i want to believe - i do believe - that positive change is better than negative. i do my best to plant good things and enact that positive change instead of becoming a beacon of wrath.
but there are a lot of kids surrounded by people who want them to die, and not all of them have a protective monster.
so it’s good.
when i’m depressed, my mind loses its battles. my cognizance slips. i forget why i care. i forget what i want. i forget how happiness feels, how to find pleasure in quiet moments.
i don’t get depressed as often as i used to since my meds are adjusted correctly now. but it still happens. it will keep happening for the rest of my life.
my mind weakens and curls up and stops fighting, and the monster is always there.
it’s a very powerful thing when it wants to be.
it wants to survive.
the thing is, it knows there are people that want me/us/whatever dead. it’s been fighting them forever. die like they want? my mind says, sure, what does it matter.
the monster says, nah. our work isn’t done. and fuck them, anyway.
so we get up.
-
so that’s how i stay alive.
i typed this for 90 minutes and after editing i’d spent two hours on this post. i don’t know if anyone will read it all. i don’t know if it’ll mean anything. i don’t know if these thoughts even make sense, much less if i’ve conveyed the feelings i have.
i love being alive. and when i don’t, i love being a monster. it’s good. all of it is good. i’ve reconciled my uglier pieces. it’s not one or the other, love or spite. it’s symbiosis. i need both, i love both.
no guarantees that this is helpful, but based purely on my own life experience, these are my tips for survival:
you’ll have to find your own roots. i can’t give them to you.
but it’s possible to dig them in and spread them far enough that one uprooted peg doesn’t shift your whole equilibrium.
and when you’re tired, rest, and let yourself be tired, and find the reason why you’re staying in the world.
i’m positive there’s at least one.
figure out why you’re losing your battles and then change the game.
if you can’t win one setup, don’t try to beat the system. adjust your strategy.
you’ll be surprised by what you can love when you stop fighting the disparate pieces of you, and instead figure out how to use them.
#i have several other questions to answer in my inbox if you've asked me st over the past few weeks#im not ignoring it im figuring out how to phrase my reply#replies#bipolar blogging#actuallybipolar#my writing#life advice#long post#REALLY long post#it's under a read more but if mobile deletes it i apologize#c ptsd tag#suicide m#ok to reblog#Anonymous
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Gotta Love DnD, Victor
Love Victor fanfic
Summary: It’s a week after Victor has come out to his family and a few friends, but they haven’t really acknowledged it one way or another. Desperate to help get his friend’s mind off of his family’s reaction (or lack of a reaction) to his coming out, Felix designs a DnD campaign that Victor, Bram, and Simon can play, with Felix as the DM. Fun and crazy stuff ensues.
Hope y’all enjoy <3
“So how do we do this? All I got are dice.” Bram asks through Felix’s computer screen, holding lime-green crystal dice up to the camera. He and Simon are sitting on the couch in the middle of their apartment, with no space between them. Victor couldn’t help but feel like they were the perfect couple, and hoped that one day Benji and him could be the same way.
It was the weekend after Victor had come out to his family and they had started acting like he hadn’t said anything at all. Victor felt like right now that was for the best, as he didn’t really wanna talk about it anymore either. Things were weird with Mia and Lake, because although she had declared her love for Felix, Lake wasn’t talking to Victor at all, in solidarity and die-hard friendship fashion for Mia. Benji had sent him sweet text messages this week like “hang in there” or “hair looks great today bud” and that would help a bit, but also Victor couldn’t shake the feelings of regret and pain away. That’s how this weekend had happened. Felix had insisted they play DnD to get his mind off things. But because Victor and Felix couldn’t afford to go back to New York, they were somehow trying to do DnD through Skype. It wasn’t working all that well, but god damn it if Felix wasn’t gonna let Victor mope around his house anymore.
“It’s not that difficult now that you guys told me what classes you wanted to be. I think you all should give your characters names though. It’s not creative if you’re just Victor and Bram and Simon.”
Simon gave Felix a look through the webcam, raising his eyebrows.
“No offense.” Felix replied, awkwardly. Felix had moved all the newspapers his mother had collected into the supply closet to make room on the coffee table for DnD, but the closet had reached capacity and Victor worried it would comically burst open like their lives were a part of a cartoon.
“Nice to meet you two by the way. You guys...are—”
While Felix was talking, the couple maintained eye contact with him as Simon rested his head on Bram’s shoulder.
“Right, okay.”
“Felix! You know they’re boyfriends!” Victor called out, sounding more like his teasing self than he has all week.
“I still can’t believe that you never told me you went to New York! The Big Apple? Times Square? You know how much I love Broadway!”
“Well you guys will just have to come visit us again sometime.” Bram suggested, putting his arm around his boyfriend affectionately.
“Alright so let’s start.” Victor said, not wanting to be reminded of the trip that made him lie to his then-girlfriend.
“Okay, so Bram you’re a paladin—” Felix began before he was cut off.
“Paladin? I’m definitely not just brawns!” Bram protested.
“You picked your character!” Victor laughed.
“I know but I think I’m a bit more of a—”
“No, no, no, no. I sent you a character sheet, you filled it out and sent it back to me and then I added the modifiers and all the technical stuff and sent it back to you, so it’s finalized!” Felix said, all his words jumbled together in a long string, sounding hyperactive as usual. “Now,” Felix continued, grabbing a D20 die from on top of his brown coffee table. “Let’s do this.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t know much about DnD, but I do know that the DM can’t play too.” Victor said, grabbing Felix’s hand tightly.
“Oh c’mon, let me play Victor! I need this! I haven’t seen Lake in—”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t remind me. Just roll dice when you’re supposed to, DM Felix.”
“Fine, fine, fine, fine,” Felix said, moving a hand through his hair. “Let’s start with this.”
He had four plastic figures, three of them representing Bram, Simon, Victor, and then one representing a figure that Felix started to describe as the Demigorgon before Victor told him to pick something else ‘cause that was “too Stranger Things”.
“Wait, wait, wait. Which character am I again?” Simon interjected before playing had even begun.
“You’re the warlock, the one with a staff, represented by the purple figure on the table.” Felix explained briskly so they could move onto actual gameplay. Simon nodded in understanding and sat back on the couch, letting Felix do his thing.
“Anyway, this big—” Felix met Victor’s gaze “—monster straight out of the movie Alien—”
Victor couldn’t help but laugh, not about Felix’s uncreativeness or lack of forethought about monsters, but the fact that he was the only straight boy in this group and he happened to somehow be the nerdiest one of all four of them.
“You mean gay out of the movie alien?” Simon asked, thinking the same thing Victor was. Victor, Bram, and Simon burst into laughter and all Felix could do was bite his lip awkwardly at the joke.
“Okay so Boris the Brave, Seamus the Strong, and Vladimir the Valiant—”
“Wait, those are our names?” Bram asked, chuckling.
“You guys didn’t pick your names so I made something up on the spot. Now stop interrupting!”
Simon and Bram put their hands up defensively, almost at the same time and Victor chuckled at that. Watching them over the call, Victor was just in awe by them. He guessed that when you were in a relationship for 2+ years, you started acting like the other person. It was weirdly sweet and Victor couldn’t get enough of it. This was what it was supposed to be like to love someone like he did. Maybe one day him and Benji would be that close, would be so love that they were in total sync. It sucked that he was jealous of them, but he was.
“So you guys are traveling through this cave and this big monster thing that looks like it’s from Alien jumps out and lunges at you. Bram, your action.”
“Uh, can I throw Simon at it?”
“Hey!”
“You can if you’d like.” Felix responds. But Bram is shaking his head.
“Can I sing to it?” Victor jokes, smiling brighter than he has in days, his cheeks burning. And when Felix glares at him he simply responds, “What? Isn’t that all that Bards can do in battle?”
“Y’know what, roll for that.”
“For what?”
“Performance! C’mon, you know this! I went over it with you every single day this week during lunch!”
Victor chuckles as Felix puts his blue die into his hand. Victor gives it a good shake before he throws it onto the table.
“10.”
Fellix then takes his own die and rolls his own number.
“I got 15, so that did not hit. The Alien is still awake, and none of its stats have been altered.”
“Nice try Victor!” Simon said encouragingly, before turning to his boyfriend. “Maybe this is a job for a paladin?”
“Okay, I’ll try. Um, I’m going to attack the Alien with my sword.”
“Okay, roll for strength, then add your modifier from your character sheet.” Felix said.
Bram ironically cracked his knuckles before taking his die and rolling, which both Victor and Simon found amusing.
“Uh, 14. Plus my strength modifier which is +2.”
“Okay, you definitely hit it. Now roll for damage given.”
Bram looked blankly at Felix.
“Just, roll the die again to see how much damage you deal on the Alien.”
“Oh, gotcha.”
Bram rolls again.
“Uh, 9. Is that with the modifier still or no?”
“Not this time, but you’ve dealt 9d sword damage to the Alien, which means you’ve been spotted and Simon’s character can’t use his stealth to get away anymore.”
“What? We could’ve snuck around it?” Bram grumbled, throwing his hands up in the air.
“It’s an open-world kind of game, man. You gotta think outside of the box.” Felix replied pointedly. Bram sighed and handed the die to Simon, who chose to roll for dexterity, to run away from the alien.
“Isn’t Bram the athlete?” Victor teases him.
“Yeah! But you’re just gonna run away from the alien and leave us to die from it?”
“No! If this works, I’m gonna go find the next village and see if there’s anyone who can help us.”
“Alright, roll for that.” Felix says.
Simon shakes the die like Bram did, but with a bit more vigor and then throws it down on his coffee table.
“Uh…it’s a nat 20!” Simon cheers, but he looks nervous.
“I’m trusting you here!” Felix reminds him. “I can’t actually see your die, but you better be honest with me!”
“It’s a one.” Bram informs his DM, looking scared at what outcome this will yield as he grabs Simon’s arm and squeezes it tightly toward his body.
“Bram!”
“Simon, they’re our friends! We can’t lie to them!”
“Fine,” Simon grumbles. “I just hope we’re not screwed now.”
“So Simon, since you got rolled a 1, you’re getting the energy to run away and then slip and fall and yell, ‘fuck!’ just as loudly as you can, so now the Alien has turned on you.”
“Oh shit!” Simon yells, almost proving Felix’s point.
It takes a little while before anyone knows what to do to stop the monster, and since it’s the afternoon and the boys haven’t eaten anything, they take a break for some pizza delivery before going back to the game.
“I’m gonna try to hit it again.” Bram says when they sit back down to it. It’s been hours since they started the game and all they’ve done is fight this one monster, but Victor doesn’t care. He hasn’t thought a bit about what going back to his house is gonna be like and frankly he doesn’t care. He’s enjoying this nerdy time with his friends and wish it could never stop.
“Roll for strength.”
Bram does.
“Ugh, 3!”
“Is that with or without the modifier?” Felix asks. Luckily it’s without.
“So 5? That does not hit. Now you’ve made the Alien all angry though.”
“Ugh, what now?”
“Victor, your turn again.” Felix tells him, handing him his blue die. “What’s your action?”
“I’m gonna see if maybe I can appeal to a nearby animal for help.” Victor says, sounding just like a bard. Felix can’t help but laugh, but it’s a sound strategy, as nothing else has worked out for them yet.
“Roll for performance.” Felix says.
Victor shakes the die and then drops it onto the table. It moves around and around like a spinning top. It’s moving so fast, but at one point it looks like it’s gonna be a nat 20 before it tips the opposite direction. Victor sighs in disappointment before he realizes it has landed on 18.
“What, no way!” Victor cries out, holding his hands up high towards the ceiling. “That’s a nat 20 right?”
“Well, it is a 20, but not a natural 20. You definitely got some animal’s attention. A wolf-bat hybrid creature comes out of its den in the cave and you ask it to help you and your friends get out of the cave. And it’s happy you asked it for help, so it starts leading you out of the cave and away from the alien. Just then—”
“What? Just then, nothing. I rolled a 20, you can’t have something happen to us now!” Victor cries out.
“It’s my game, I can do whatever I want.” Felix replies his voice light and teasing.
“There’s a sudden earthquake and huge rocks start falling down upon all of you. All of you roll for dexterity to get out of the way of the falling rocks and catch up with the wolf-bat hybrid to get to safety.”
Simon rolls, then Bram and Victor roll simultaneously. Simon rolls a 7, Bram a 13, and Victor gets an 11.
“Since Bram made it above 12, he has to help Simon out of the cave after he gets hit on the back of the head once with a rock. Victor leads the group to safety with the help of the wolf-bat hybrid and it’s on to the next village. End of game 1.”
“Wow! What an awesome game Felix!” Bram remarks.
“This was really fun you guys,” Simon agrees, speaking into the webcam as if he was meeting Felix and Victor’s gazes directly. “Hopefully we can do it again next time when we’re in Atlanta.”
“Wait, you mean, you guys are coming to visit US?” Victor asks, incredulous. He can’t believe his ears.
“Yeah, you came to visit us, it’s only fair we do the same thing. Besides, Bram wants to get some pointers from the coach about how to coach middle school kids.”
“Might wanna choose a different gym teacher to learn from,” Felix tells him, smiling.
“Whatever, we wanna see you guys, and introduce you to our friends Leah and Abby too. We’re all coming back for a homecoming type thing, even our friend Nick is gonna be there. It’s not for at least a month, but we’ll be up there soon, I promise. And as always, we’re here if you need anything, Victor.”
“Thanks you guys. I can’t wait to see you guys in person again.” Victor says, and he’s definitely gushing. They used to be strangers to him, but now he can’t imagine life without their support. They’re like his fairy gay fathers or something. Victor laughs at that prospect, but it’s an accurate name for them.
“Nice meeting you Felix! Great game! Talk to you guys soon!” Bram says, and the call goes out.
“They’re really great.” Felix says, almost absentmindedly.
“Yeah,” Victor says, fully registering how he feels towards all the new friends he’s made in the last few weeks, and a warm, welcoming feeling filling up his stomach, almost like the butterflies that welled up in his chest when he kissed Benji. Only this was different. This was purely platonic. Victor’s family life might not be what he’d like it to be right now, but his social life was better than it ever was in Texas. What’s more, he was finally living his true life, his gay self, and he felt better than he had in days.
“Yeah, they’re pretty great.”
#love victor spoilers#love victor#love victor fanfic#dnd#love victor dnd#love victor dnd fanfic#emmett writes stuff
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Nothing upsets me more than a legitimately good story being ruined by “extra” content. I’ve already complained at length about Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon’s story changes over the original games so now it’s The World Ends With You: Final Remix’s “A New Day’s” turn because CHRIST
I’m writing this as I come across points while watching a playthrough, so:
God, Coco is the single most insufferable being. “totez hilar” just dated this content so baaaad, and I’d even say it was dated language when Final Remix came out. No other character abuses modern slang as their entire character. Like, slang is used but not as a substitute for personality. Beat speaks in a very casual, urban style but it never ends up being detrimental to his character as a bit of a punk with a “perfect little sister” that he wasn’t as naturally smart as, so he just gave up on trying and ended up being a bit of an aggressive slacker. Heck, he tones it down a bit for emotional moments, too. Coco, though, comes across like her ultra-modern “cutesy” text message slang is supposed to be her personality, and even when it’s revealed that she’s the villain of the episode you just can’t take her seriously through the “like, ohmigosh, I can’t believe you’re ruining my plaaaaaans” bullshit. What does she have going for her if you rewrite all of her lines without that speaking style? She’s just a generic manipulative brat
Frankly I also just disagree with the entire premise of A New Day and the plot threads it sets up for a potential sequel, i.e. “having Neku and Beat run through a game again as a trap to get Neku into yet another game in a possible sequel.” TWEWY is a complete experience and had been for at least a decade. Literally every character had a complete arc. The worldbuilding was rich enough that they had more than enough to come up with a sequel set in the same world, but in an entirely different town with an entirely new cast and, heck, even entirely new rules for the Game that would’ve expanded upon the world of the games without taking away from the characters whose time in the Underground was already done
But, noooooooo, we’ve gotta bring Neku back. Can’t have a game without Neku they literally SAY THAT (”The Game, like, literally can’t go on without Neku.”). And let’s bring Minamimoto back, too, as a good guy! The fans loved him! This doesn’t come across as pandering at all!
Just... you have the girl with the red headphones designed! Make the sequel set in Shinjuku with her as the main character! (Hell, I don’t think I would have even minded Minamimoto coming back for that because there was enough leeway in the base TWEWY for him to have survived his encounter with Josh, just leave Neku out of it). This is the most infuriating part because it actually takes away from Neku’s story. The entire GAME was a test of character to see if even the worst, most closed off person could learn empathy and respect and Neku DID. And in return, that sparked a change in Josh. His story is done. Coco using Neku, though, has nothing to do with him as a character and everything to do with him being the face of the game and it shows
And why the hell is Neku so trusting of Coco anyway? I get that he opened up over the course of TWEWY, that was kind of the point. But you come back to life, everything’s fine, and then suddenly you’re in a death game again and so is one of your best friends, like, he should be WAY more concerned and suspicious. But one little Reaper gives him the sad eyes and he just caves instantly like “fine, come along.” Even when Neku grew to like some of the Reapers, like Uzuki and Kariya, it was still far more of a rival-like respect. He knew damn well that it was their job to see him gone and while he accepted their help when they gave it and helped them when their lives were in danger (possibly, up to player choice), they weren’t buddy-buddy with each other, knowing that as soon as the immediate danger to them had passed they’d be on opposite sides again. And these are the Reapers he’s closest to, even at the end of the game. And then all of a sudden Coco goes “but I’m a wittle wost baby weaper” and Neku’s response is, “well, shit, welcome to the team.” WHAT
I hate using the term “Mary Sue” but Coco is absolutely a Mary Sue in its original meaning. The plot bends over backwards to accommodate her at the expense of the main characters’ personalities or reason, all while giving her a clothing style incongruous with everyone else’s meant to stand out and make her look special and not having her face any repercussions for her actions (so far which is, again, another issue with the very premise of A New Day since that’s exactly how things will end off if TWEWY doesn’t get a sequel, the possibility of which is not a guarantee AT ALL)
Shiki and Rhyme start saying blatantly false things about themselves and handwaving it away with “ohhh, that must have been our new Entry Fee! Just the exact same ones as the first time again!” and only BEAT is suspicious and NEITHER OF THEM are suspicious of Coco, the only non-generic Reaper they’ve met so far. Christ, I appreciate Beat being attentive with matters of his sister because that’s in-character but NEKU was always the more paranoid AND observant one yet all he thinks about is “gee, I’m sure having weird visions today, huh?”
And then Coco starts BLATANTLY gaslighting them about Kariya and Uzuki’s personalities and they’re STILL not suspicious of her like ughhhhhhhhhhh. Nekuuuuuuu you LIVED THROUGH JOSH WEEK 2, you have BEEN IN A SITUATION where the mastermind partnered up with you to divert your suspicion and keep an eye on you how are you less suspicious of this brat than Beat is???
And why are none of the characters bringing up the fact that you have to be DEAD to be in the Game??? You all spent three weeks of hell to claw your way back to life, how are you not more upset about what seems like you all dying again, basically immediately after you just got brought back? And I know the Shiki and Rhyme in A New Day are illusions, but Neku and Beat AREN’T. Nobody even comments on the implication that they’re dead again and what that means!
I can’t believe they made new expressions for the fake Josh’s changed personality but still refuse to make anything for Shiki’s true appearance
Hell, there’s enough lore with Josh that you could make an entire prequel about him becoming the Composer instead of this mess and, you know, EXPAND on someone’s character and what led to him being so disillusioned with Shibuya as the Composer instead of employing the Happy Ending Rewrite on Neku and then gutting his personality to make Coco the focus. I’d LOVE a Josh prequel with competent writing. Kingdom Hearts made the Xehanort prequel and hooked me in a single chapter with expanded worldbuilding and interesting ties with Xehanort’s character to friends that humanize him, do the same for Yoshiya “Joshua” Kiryu!
Pfffffff hire me and let me make the dream TWEWY trilogy: Joshua prequel > TWEWY sans A New Day > sequel set in Shinjuku starring Red Headphones Girl with Occasional Josh and Hanekoma Interaction
It is so unnecessarily cruel to make Beat relive Rhyme’s erasure and subject Neku to believing that Shiki was erased as well, and yet they do NOTHING with it except have it be cheap tension for five minutes. The characters basically say “wow, I’m so sad!” and then IMMEDIATELY move on to “OMG is Neku seeing the fuuuuuture?” Your LITTLE SISTER and FIRST REAL FRIEND IN YEARS just seemingly died permanently! When Rhyme was erased the first time it took Neku one and a half in-game days to even talk about it because he was so upset, and from then on he was focused on avenging her/bringing her back. Shiki was his entry fee in Week 2 and that made him hyper paranoid the whole time! WHY ARE WE JUST GLOSSING OVER THIS especially since they made SUCH a big deal about how they just finally started believing that the fakes were real (after a whole TWO conversations)
And then at the end they say that they’re inside Coco’s Noise that is SO BIG that it has an ALTERNATE DIMENSION INSIDE IT and Hanekoma’s like “I’ve never met a Reaper POWERFUL enough to make a Noise like this. Wow, Coco, you’re so POWERFUL that even I, an Angel, am impressed!” This. Coming from the guy who specifically chose Minamimoto as his failsafe to kill the Composer should the Game go wrong because a Taboo Minamimoto, heavily refined using forbidden methods, would be strong enough to defeat THE COMPOSER. And he’s now going on about how Coco’s the strongest Reaper ever, basically admitting that she’s probably stronger than the Composer of Shibuya. SURE. BECAUSE COCO WASN’T BAD ENOUGH ALREADY SHE HAS TO BE THE STRONGEST REAPER EVER, TOO
And then it just ends with Josh and Hanekoma exposition dumping about how Shinjuku got erased as Noise entered the RG (WHAT?), Neku’s visions were probably caused by the red headphones girl who’s super special (who???), and Coco’s just so special powerful (why...), but it’s not their problem so fuck it. Oh, and also Josh doesn’t care about Neku anymore, despite that being the whole point of TWEWY. Yeah, the guy who flew off all upset when Hanekoma asked him if he wanted to hang out with his friends at the end of the game. Uh huh. Even if he’s lying, why even put that THERE instead of saving it for the sequel?
And then Coco just... revives Minamimoto. Even though, oh, right, the Taboo Refinery stuff was so precise that the only reason Minamimoto came back the first time was because Hanekoma, THE PRODUCER AND AN ANGEL, set it up for him. But I guess Coco’s just soooooo super powerful and knows FORBIDDEN HIGHER PLANE KNOWLEDGE and can just do whateeeeeever she wants. Not like Hanekoma was so paranoid about someone finding out what he did for Minamimoto that he went into hiding, certain that he’d be reported to the higher Angels and destroyed
A New Day is so painfully shallow from a writing experience. It’s a poor continuation off of the solid, complete TWEWY story experience that just doesn’t have a handle on Neku’s character, turning him into this bland vision machine with no emotional connection to anyone. The way that it expands the worldbuilding with “Inversion” does one thing that I HATE, which is taking an emotion-and-character driven story and turning it into a generic “end of the world” scenario, “raising the stakes” in a way that divorces it from what made it memorable in the first place. If Kitaniji directly effecting the RG during the main Game’s plot was the point where he crossed the line in-universe, then that loses its special nature and impact if you then go “oh, btw, Noise can destroy the RG city if you let them”
And then there’s the absolute black hole of a character that is Coco Atarashi. She wasn’t designed to fit into the world of the game, she was designed to stand out. On its own that’s not a bad thing, especially given the themes of the game that revolve around owning your true self and baring it to the world, but then you combine it with no personality beyond being a manipulative brat obsessed with the events of TWEWY, extremely lazy text message slang dressing up her dialogue to make it stand out, the way that Neku and Beat’s personalities change to accommodate her presence just to shoehorn her in and then have a cheap “omg she was bad” twist, and then dumping powers on par with Josh and Hanekoma on her and there is NO saving her character
The only good part of A New Day is “Wake Up.” And even then, there’s better TWEWY songs, I just like the vaguely Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance vibes it has in parts
#the world ends with you#the world ends with you spoilers#liz's shenanigans#the playthrough i was watching to refresh myself on twewy's story hit a new day and my blood pressure spiked instantly#i have never lost interest in a sequel quite as fast as i did this#i just... how do you fuck up this bad???
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🌷jungkook having a crush on you🌷
- jk and you vibed so fast that you became close friends very quickly (the chaotic duo that tested hyung line's last nerves when you were in your mischievous mood)
-you sorta became an honorary member of the maknae line and after you pulled a prank on jin that included a chocolate cake, marmite and liquorice and ended up with jin's face shrivelling so bad that it may have caused him his first wrinkles
(his revenge was to serve you kimchi bokkeumbap with kimchi that had gone bad, which resulted in the worst heartburn you ever had ("an eye for a eye, y/n" - you, drinking your 3rd mint tea that night: "fair enough"), you redeemed yourself by buying him hyaluronic acid lotion and his favourite strawberry cheesecake, jk just laughed his ass off to the misery jin and you went through and blackmailed jin with marmite whenever they bickered ("it will hit u when u least expect it, hyung" - "I can't believed I raised lucifer himself"))
-anyway, jk and you are always very playful together, and you laugh so much when you're with him bc of his antics
-he doesn't mind being extra goofy to make you laugh, it lifts his spirits as well
-hates to see you sad/upset, namjoon and jk once spoke about you, after namjoon asked him about your guys' friendship and for the first time in ages he was sure jungkook had deeper feelings for someone, as he said: "I don't mind making a fool out of myself, if it brings a smile on y/n's face. hyung, I know this is going to sound weird but sometimes I feel like it is my purpose to show y/n everything good and funny, this is something I wanna keep doing for a long time." (tbh namjoon teared up)
-your guys' fav pastimes were watching cartoons/animes and you had a fiery competition going on in any kind of jump and run games, especially for sonic (you once beat jk after a 4 hour session and he threw a dramatic fit until you made him hot chocolate and he finally calmed down)
-would show you tons of pics and vids of gureum and filmed every minute of your first encounter
-your personal photographer tbh, you two could go chill in a parking lot and he would still do the most aesthetic shots
-despite all the funny moments you two also had serious conversations together. moments like that were rare and mostly after 2am when you two shared secrets with each other you didn't dare to speak about at daytime, like your views on love where jungkook first thought of how much he wants to be your "loved one"
-has a folder with his favourite pics of you or places that remind him of you somehow, but he'd never tell you that
- tries to impress you quiet often, like the time you went for karaoke
your pick: new face
his pick: vision of love
you: ????????? bitch ?????? do i look like i can sing a mariah song????
jk: well....... i can..... 👀
you: i'll see you at the whistle notes
jk: i've made a huge mistake
-you're usually the first person to listen to his covers and he looooves seeing your reaction to it (but he's usually pretty nervous about it too)
- cannot concentrate for shit when you're watching him during dance practice, so hobi told you, in a nice way, to stay away from dance practice for the sake of bts and jk apologised like 12 times to everyone, he got better at focusing over time and you watched him once in a while... but he'd get v shy when he had to do hip thrusts and stuff, you'd just laugh it off but in reality you were just trying to hide you how much he actually affects you, especially during a choreo like that
-the boys teased him quite a lot about you and he'd get all whiny and say it's not like he had a crush on you or something
vmin: *laughing*
sope: *shaking their heads*
jin: oh reallyyy~~
namjoon: so you're ok with the fact y/n is on a date rn?
jungkook: WHAT
- so namjoon took out his phone and showed jk that you updated your story with some food pic where you could see a man's hand in the background, who was also tagged in the pic
namjoon: see? that guy also tagged y/n here in his pic
jk: .....
-the guys stopped teasing him the second they realized how upset jk actually was (he went completely silent, eyebrows furrowed), yoongi just stated the obvious: "our maknae is in love, huh", the boys smiled and jungkook nodded with a sad look on his face
-the next time you visited the guys jungkook was visibly flustered around you and would be just overwhelmed with the entire situation bc he wanted to know who that guy was, but he didn't know how to ask and neither did he want to intrude and what if you're taking it the wrong way and say that it's none of his business and suddenly he loses his best friend because of some stupid guy in a stupid picture and some stupid hypothetical date.... overthinking at its finest, as you can see...
-you didn't know why he became so awkward around you, the boys obviously knew but they couldn't say anything without risking jungkook completely losing his shit, but jungkook avoided you and left early when you were there and you were like "... why"...well the boys knew why but they couldn't say anything
-you tried talking to him but he tried to avoid you since he got so flustered around you that he'd stuttering, get embarrassed about it and then leave...
-you asked the boys about it, but they wouldn't say anything but tbh this was almost painful to watch for them bc they love their maknae but they knew this wasn't going anywhere.... so their eldest took the matter into his own hands and talked to you and asked you about the guy in your story.....
-shortly after that, the guys went to europe for vacation. jungkooks airport look was something for the goth look book once again, while the other guys looked bright and ready for their time off, and jin was like "oh here we go again" and once again jk helped out...
- the boys knew he kept himself busy the entire time after things got awkward with you, but they didn't exactly know what he was doing in his studio, only taehyung knew he was editing something
-so the boys were enjoying their time off and even got jungkook's mind off of you with some sightseeing and other leisure activities they had planned
-but at the end of the day, he thought of you and read your last messages over and over again. the last time you had texted was when you wished him a good time in europe and he thanked you. he sighed as he realized how your long texts with each other had turned into such short ones within 1 week
- yoongi: i cannot take this anymore, we need to do something about this
jin: i did. i invited y/n to join us.
the boys: ???
jin: all expenses on the company.
the boys: ?????????
-also, this was the first time you guys were separated, and it gave him the chance think about what he truly wants for you two, friendship or more.. he decided to confide in namjoon and jin about it and seek advice
namjoon: i'm sure y/n likes you too, and even if not, which I really doubt, at least you'll get it sorted out that way and carry on
jk: hyung, see that's the thing. if my feelings will not be reciprocated, i won't be able to continue a friendship... that's why I am so scared.
jin: y/n's coming here, tomorrow, jk, only for you, so i'm pretty sure your feelings will be reciprocated. just be honest about them.
jk: what do you mean y/n's gonna be here tomorrow?
jin: exactly that.
jk: with all due respect, hyung-nim, what the fuck
(-namjoon cackling in the background-)
-so jin explained how he asked you about joining them bc jk was so down and reassured jk that he didn't tell you anything about his feelings and that you solely come there bc you also had 2 weeks off and you wanted to spend time with him, even though jin had some convincing to do since you thought it might be awkward between jk and you
- jin: also, the supposed date on her story? that was just a night out among co-workers, so it was definitely not a date, I asked y/n about it
jk: ....... why didn't you tell me sooner? why are you telling me that a week later, when I'm in another country??
jin: remember the time you put actual fish oil in my bungeoppang?
jk:
jin: see, you did this and I'm still arranging you a romantic getaway, like the merciful god i am
jk: oh my god
jin: exactly
-jk texted you the same night and asked you where you are and said that jin told him everything. "maybe I should let the food war continue after all..", you thought and rolled your eyes. you sent jungkook a pic from the view you had from your hotel room, where you arrived a few hours prior, and he could clearly recognize that you were indeed there, as unbelievable as it was for him.
you: I can't believe jin ruined the surprise
jk: trust me, it still was a huge surprise for me
you: a good one, I hope?
jk: definitely... you know, i actually wanted to text you.
you: about the past week, i suppose?
jk: kinda. i'm going to send you something. it was done rather quickly, so have some mercy on me with that.. and please don't be mad at me
you: ok..? you're kind of worrying me here
jk: and y/n.. i won't say anything about it, it should speak for itself.. and please don't say anything about it until I see you tomorrow, ok?
you: alright..
jk: I'll see you at the café jin hyung told me about, depending on the answer you're gonna give me
you: I'll be there, no matter what
jk: ok, then, yellow shirt in case you're answer is positive, black shirt in any other case, how about that?
you: fine by me koo ☺️
jk: ok...... here goes nothing 🙇🏻♂️
-what he sent you was a gcf with your name as the title and what followed was a beautiful compilation of your favourite moments you and jungkook had shared, and some moments you weren't even aware of the fact that he was filming you..some scenes, for example: your guys' trip to lotte world, you giggling into the camera when turned the cam to both of you wearing bunny ears, you laughing your ass off while filming him dancing to cl's "hello bitches", you on the day you went to the planetarium together, the time you came over to his place with food after he was too exhausted to do anything after practice and you watched "spirited away" together, then you playing with gureum while he giggles behind the camera, you being bts' no 1 hype man during their concert preparations, some videos where you cheered for him during the days you two spent apart bc of award shows.... and at the end of the video there was a single picture of you two, where you smiled widely into the camera, while he looked at you with a shy smile on his face... and finally, you heard his voice saying the words which appeared on screen: "be my loved one".
- the next day, jungkook was waiting for you in the café opposite the church, where you would come to as well. he was nervous as hell and honestly he still wasn't sure if you're actually going to come there or if jin played a prank on him. he checked his texts again and again and just stared at the "read" sign beneath the text and the video he sent you and mentally slapped himself for telling you to keep your answer to yourself until you meet him in the café. he started overthinking again, to a point where he zoned out so much that he didn't even notice 6 guys with huge sunglasses and a suspicious lot of newspapers, sitting at another table what finally made him snap back into reality was the sound of someone pulling the chair at his table, which instantly made him turn around only to see you sitting down next to him, right at the moment when the bells started ringing. undoubtedly, the colour yellow has never made jungkook happier.
💕
epilogue:
-at the dorms with the boys after you left your company dinner party early-
jimin: why'd you come back so early?
you: because SOMEONE almost broke my co-workers hand during a handshake
jk: it's called asserting dominance, y/n, don't you ever listen to david attenborough sunbaenim?
#bts fluff#bts fic#bts headcanons#bts scenarios#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts#bangtan#bangtan x reader#bangtan x you#bangtan fluff#bts x you#bts x reader#bts having a crush on you#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook fanfic#jungkook headcanon#jungkook#jeon jeongguk#bts jungkook#bts jeongguk#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagine#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#mine
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BnHA Chapter 246: Plot Whiplash
Previously on BnHA: Hawks handed Endeavor a copy of Re-Destro’s NYT bestseller and was all “ಠ_ಠ READ THIS!!” He then flew off back to the PLF and was all “hey guys just got back from handing out free copies of Destro’s book to everyone in a 1000-mile radius, which absolutely nobody asked me to do, well anyways you can thank me later” and they were all “SWEET.” Back at the Endeavor HQ, Bakugou got all fired up to BUST SOME HEADS but Endeavor’s sidekicks were all “WAIT FOR THE PLOT YOUNG MAN.” Meanwhile in his office, Endeavor discovered a secret code in the book Hawks gave him, which basically read “HEY WHAT’S UP THE LEAGUE HAS TAKEN OVER THE MLA AND HAS AN ARMY OF 100,000 PEOPLE” and Endeavor was like “!!!!” And then we cut to the League and Toga was all “IN FOUR MONTHS TOMURA IS BLOWING THIS SHIT TO KINGDOM COME” and then the chapter just ended. Sometimes it be like that.
Today on BnHA: Tomura sits down with Ujiko who monologues a bit about Quirk Singularity and then starts some sort of quirk-upgrading process which will apparently take four months to fully set in. And also he’s like “oh btw let me tell you about One for All” so THAT’S A THING NOW, GREAT. We then cut back and forth between Endeavor and Hawks, who both somehow come to the weird conclusion that THE INTERNS ARE OUR ONLY HOPE NOW using logic that is hard to explain on account of THERE ACTUALLY ISN’T ANY LOGIC BEHIND IT, SHHH. But anyway, so Endeavor figures out the rest of Hawks’s message and he knows that Hawks is trying to figure out what the League is up to, and something something that’s why the internships are so important. Like, I get that the Terrible Trio are future legends in the making, but these guys are seriously like “well okay let’s just go ahead and rest all our hopes on them” out of the blue, and Hawks has this big monologue about how “THINGS WON’T GO ACCORDING TO YOUR PLAN, VILLAINS” and okay then!! And then the last two pages are basically just DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME HYPE with more shit going on than I can possibly sum up so I won’t even try lol. But damn.
(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)
okay guys, I’m feeling kinda under the weather today, but I know this chapter’s gonna be good so lesssssss gooooooo. bring me back to life Horikoshi
(ETA: lol well there sure was a lot happening in this chapter, that’s for sure. my head hurts.)
oooooh it’s a sexy Jump cover celebrating season 4!
I really need the anime team to step up and give Ochako and Tsuyu some more screentime in the Basement Arc since the manga did not do them justice. there’s only like a 20% chance of that happening, which is depressing, but it’s 2019 and the winds are slowly changing, albeit at a geriatric pace. so I’ll allow myself to have some hope. you never know
YEAH SON LOOK AT THIS COLOR SPREAD Y’ALL THIS IS RAD
hello I love everything about this. the colors, the focus on our best girls, Deku’s bizarre-yet-awesome assorted sci-fi accessories (Deku do those headphones let you communicate with space or what), and of course, the five million TVs in the background which for some reason all appear to be from the 70s. all of this to remind us to TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE LONG-AWAITED SEASON 4 DEBUT. I will definitely tune in! the first episode is just gonna be the usual half filler/half clip show, but honestly season 3 was so good that I could sit through a whole hour of nothing but highlights and still be thoroughly entertained
anyway let’s move on because there are GAMES AFOOT, and we’re hopefully about to learn which direction this arc will be headed in!
OH SHIT OH FUCK
yep, that’s him. Shigaraki “destruction incarnate” Tomura. I see we’re getting our weekly dose of “just a reminder that WE ARE SCREWED” even earlier than usual this chapter, huh
so does anyone else get a chill up their spine every time Ujiko makes an appearance, or is that just me? like, god. he may honestly be even creepier than AFO. he’s just completely soulless, this guy. he’s got like this Mengele vibe to him (though that may be kinda dicey to compare horrific real-life atrocities to fictional ones in a shounen manga, but I’m just trying to explain why I find him so disturbing) and it really freaks me the hell out, ngl. anyways so him wearing a surgical mask and standing in front of this weird examination chair is pretty much the last thing I need right now. go away Ujiko
so Tomura is all “I want it cuz you promised, so pay up jackass”, and like. fair, though
I really like this new art style Horikoshi’s been using for him since his Awakening. kinda curious how it’s going to translate to the anime, or even to a color spread. but at the very least in black and white it looks siiiiick
smh look at this little punk trying to downplay how insanely freaking overpowered his quirk currently is
okay first of all, “President Baldy” is only alive because you left him alive. and he also had to chop off his own legs to stay that way. like, what kind of argument is this, Tomura? “this power is far from invincible, all my enemies have to do is amputate their own limbs and then they’ll have me right where they want me.” you know what, just go on and destroy the world right now kid. you’re getting greedy now and it could be your undoing
that is a nice parallel between him and Deku there, though. now I’m craving some Symbolic Artwork of them standing back to back each holding out their scarred right arms. maybe with their respective mentors in the background. here at BnHA we prefer our parallels nice and dramatic
sdskfjlaskdj
son of a bitch. I really wish he wouldn’t say that with such utter certainty. “the next conflict will be our last.” cue me flipping through the BnHA table of contents and trying to determine just how far along we actually are here, because this is veering dangerously close to Final Battle signaling, and like, ALREADY?? TOMURA ARE YOU JUST BEING THEATRICAL OR ARE YOU FOR REAL OMG. motherfucking DARK LORD’S LIPS curling into the WICKEDEST FUCKING CRESCENT I’VE EVER SEEN, fuck me
(ETA: it occurs to me on readthrough #2 that “the next conflict will be our last” could be interpreted to mean him and All Might specifically. like, the last conflict between the two of them. and that might very well be true, and would not surprise me at all. shit.)
fjsgk now Ujiko’s talking about research. and quirks!! glkjlkl
fully expecting the camera to cut to some NOUMUS any second now oh my god. also trying not to think about how crazy ominous that fucking chair looks. and how many people this maniac has probably strapped down to it and done god knows what to them. hey Horikoshi you know what, I’ve had just about enough of this dark shit, can we please cut back to my kids now I’m feeling too unsettled. goddammit
anyhow of course we are NOT cutting away, and Ujiko is continuing to talk about quirk evolution, and now segueing into a speech about that quirk singularity thing. -- which he apparently named?? wow
is he actually going to do something to Tomura? holy shit?? this whole time that they’ve been talking about this “power” I’ve just been assuming it was something external, like some other handy dandy villain resource that AFO’s just been sitting on or something. this is not where I expected things to go. didn’t he just get an upgrade??
anyway so here’s a brief summary I just wrote up of The Past Six Months of BnHA:
Deku: [gets a new quirk]
everyone: bruh. Horikoshi really out here giving Deku AFO Powers while Tomura just sits around starving to death on a couch. what the heck
Horikoshi: [powers up Tomura to the point where he can destroy anything just by it being in contact with something that Tomura happens to be touching] [has Tomura use this power to level an entire city]
everyone: -- oh. okay, you know what, never mind --
Horikoshi: [gives Tomura an army of 100,000 people] [also gives him command of 11 extremely lethal and nigh-unstoppable killing machines, just one of which was almost enough to take out the number one hero, LITERALLY THE STRONGEST GUY THE GOOD GUYS CURRENTLY HAVE IN RESERVE]
everyone: okay we’re sorry we get it you can sto --
Horikoshi: APOCALYPSE IN FOUR MONTHS!!!
everyone: WE GET IT WE’RE SORRY PLEASE
Horikoshi: [GIVES TOMURA ANOTHER POWER-UP]
everyone: [curled up in fetal position sobbing]
starting to think the mangaka might be the actual final villain here. hmm
anyway. so I guess we have four months until Tomura ascends to Actual Godhood and proceeds to rain hellfire down upon the world. what are you all gonna do with your four months. I personally have a lot of stuff to binge, but knowing me I’ll probably just waste all my time reading fanfic while youtube videos play in the background which I’m not paying any attention to. what am I doing with my life
oh were we not done hyping him up? there’s more??
(ETA: I got so caught up in the OFA comment I didn’t pay attention to Tomura becoming a beautiful decayed butterfly in this exquisitely creepy panel here. but damn.)
-- HOLD THE FUCK UP. does Tomura know about One for All??? because I was under the impression that AFO hadn’t told him? this would change a lot if he knew this entire time, holy shit?!
aaaaaaaaand exactly one panel later Horikoshi is all “no he didn’t know calm the fuck down” lol
okay then. so he didn’t know, and he’s only just finding out now. well tbh that’s still worthy of a smiling crying emoji face though :’) this is fineeee
shit here we go oh shit
-- WAIT, SO WE’RE JUST CUTTING AWAY FROM THEM? NOW YOU CUT AWAY? YOU GET WITHIN INCHES OF CONFIRMING THE FUCKING ALL FOR ONE FOR ALL THEORY AND THEN IT’S JUST “ANYWAYS HERE’S ENDEAVOR” YOU KNOW WHAT, HORIKOSHI, I --
just. come on dude. AFOFA 2019! let’s make it happen! dammit
sigh, so looks like it’s back to the admittedly-still-epic “Hawks passes down secret information about the villains to Endeavor” plot. I guess we’re not exactly hurting for good plots all around. I may complain but honestly we are spoiled
so Hawks is saying that he actually doesn’t know the specifics of the villains’ plans yet. well shit
apparently his feathers can only pick up sounds from short range, and the villains keep escorting him away whenever they get to talking about the good stuff. well at least that explains that potential plot hole from last week. Hawks’s feathers may have a short range, but Horikoshi’s plot hole caulking gun can fill in leaky plot holes from fucking miles away. amazing
ffffffff
don’t mind me I’m just sitting here fretting about Hawks continuing to be in mortal danger and risking his life to gather information in a race against time against the end of the world. Horikoshi out here piling up stakes like a freaking vampire hunter
but in the meantime, everyone please stop what you’re doing for a moment to look at this absolute unit of a bellhop slash security guard
apologies Lord Vader he was just trying to get to the dining hall. my bad. as you were
and holy shit I hope you enjoyed that light comedic break because two seconds later Re-Destro has dropped in to fixate Hawks with one of those Lightly Menacing Smiles he’s so infamous for. so that’s just fucking great!
HAWKS WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FINGERS
omg. imagine, a showdown between the two stealth murder MVPs of the series, Yotsubashi “Sleeper Hold” Rikiya (yes I did have to look up his real name just now) and Takami “Tag Em And Bag Em” Keigo. true, RD may no longer have legs, but he didn’t need them to choke out our little mouse buddy now did he? anyways speaking of which I just remembered that I fucking hate Re-Destro and I honestly hope Hawks does kill him. it’d be pretty easy to fit him into a bag too. he’s basically just a torso and arms now
oh sure Horikoshi go ahead and spring this on me after all of that ranting why don’t you
by the way does Re-Destro have Robot Legs now, or
looool he does
I will say this for Horikoshi, he knows my weaknesses. more robot limbs please. either badass or memeable ones, either is fine
meanwhile I skipped over this panel of Hawks and Twice being buddies in order to get to the legs, and shame on me for that. let’s go back
Twice is a genuinely good guy and I hope Hawks can tell. I wonder how fake this smile is. I feel like it’d be easy to relax around Twice regardless of how tense you are about your secret spy mission which could go south at any time. anyways this is wholesome
and now we’re cutting back to Endeavor who is taking his sweet time reacting to this whole thing. Endeavor can you fucking chill with the poker face already geez
okay wait, what
are you serious?! I fucking can’t with this lady. “now make sure to throw these children directly into the line of fire! it’s good for them and builds character!” I’m sorry, I thought this was the Hero Public Safety Commission, not the Putting Juveniles Directly Into Harm’s Way Commission?? at least change the acronym to something more appropriate then. Heinous Pathetic Soulless Cowards. just a suggestion. jesus
anyway so for a moment I got confused as to whether this was implying that she’d told Endeavor about Hawks’s undercover mission. but it seems like he’s still unaware. shouldn’t be too long before he puts the pieces together though at this rate
lol in the very next panel, even
meanwhile you’re just sitting on your ass reading a book! FUCKING DO SOMETHING ALREADY, ENDEAVOR
so he’s thinking that the “preparation” part of Hawks’s message is referring to the interns. let me back up a sec and write down the entire message as he’s read it thus far
“four months from now / rising to action / until then / will send / signals / in case / of failure / preparation / numbers”
...read like that, it really does sound like Hawks is advocating to get as many soldiers ready as possible. even if that includes actual children. including Endeavor’s own son. shit. I mean, I get that they don’t have much of a choice, but that’s still so fucked up. sure, we as omniscient readers know that Deku is their one and only hope, but they don’t know that. as far as they know these are just a bunch of teenagers with less than a year’s worth of experience that they’re propping up on the front lines. and the plan is then... what? hope they don’t die too quickly?? fuck
Hawks is out here having an argument with me in his thoughts. you wanna play it like that, Hawks? fine
I don’t know what kind of “but” you can tag on to the end of that paragraph that could possibly win me over, dude, but go for it I guess
and we’re finally cutting back to the kids in question now! with Burnin’ casually trying to crush Kacchan’s hopes and dreams
okay but I love how both Deku and Shouto are like “easy there buddy, we got you” and trying to keep Kacchan from having a fucking aneurysm sob. JUST TRY AND HOIST HIM ONTO SOME DUMB SIDEKICKS, LADY. YOU’VE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY HERE TODAY
oh shit
oh my god. are we going to get our first actual interaction between the three of them that doesn’t consist of them grumbling annoyed introductions at each other and then running off to fight an old fortune teller omggggg
I love how Deku and Bakugou look weirdly intimidated by him lol. Bakugou where did all that “YOU’RE KIND OF A JERK” confidence go all of a sudden
YESSSSSSS
GODDAMMIT, I’M STILL SO MAD AT YOU GUYS FOR BEING ALL “LET’S JUST MAKE THE CHILDREN DO IT,” BUT DAMMIT THEY KICK ASS THOUGH SO I CAN KINDA SEE YOUR POINT
NOW HAWKS IS METAING ABOUT THEM AHHHHHHH
DAMN STRAIGHT THEY WOULD HAVE. BRING ON TOMURA AND ALL OF HIS STUPID POWER-UPS. WOW I’M WEIRDLY HYPED UP ALL OF A SUDDEN WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME
AND FUCKING LOOK AT THIS TWO-PAGE SPREAD AHHHHHHHHHHH
MOTHERFUCKER [WHIPS OUT PEN AND NOTEBOOK] TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BITCH
so Ochako and Tsuyu did indeed go back to intern with Ryuukyuu again! makes sense, she is a top ten hero after all. who’s that with them, though? almost looks like Yanagi from the hair and the mask, but the costume looks different? hmm
I CAN’T BELIEVE IIDA WENT BACK TO INTERN WITH FUCKING MANUAL AGAIN. THIS GUY IS THE BRAN CEREAL OF HEROES. though I fucking love him though so yeah it’s fine
JIROU AND SHOUJI TEAMING UP WITH GANG FUCKING ORCA AW YISS BOYS THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT LET’S GOOOO
KOUDA AND MANGA TEAMING UP WITH WASH OMG. MANGA IS THE ONLY ONE ON THAT TEAM WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING SPEAKS. IS WASH’S SIDEKICK SOME SORT OF BROOM PERSON OMG
A WHOLE FUCKING ACRE OF KIDS HAVE ALL GANGED UP ON THIS CAVEMAN-LOOKING FELLA I DON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE. WHO ARE YOU. DID YOU CROSS OVER FROM THE FANTASY AU
KIRI BACK WITH FG AND BROUGHT TETSUTETSU ALONG FOR THE RIDE HELLS YEAHHHH
KAMINARI AND SERO WITH KAMUI WOODS AND EDGESHOT I’M HYPERVENTILATING AHHH. AND SHIOZAKI TOO!! I’LL JUST PRETEND I DON’T SEE MINETA THERE IN THE CORNER. MIGHT BE TIME TO DUST OFF THE OLD “CANCELLED” STAMP AGAIN BUT WE’LL SEE HOW THINGS GO
WHO ARE MOMO AND TOKAGE AND MINA AND AOYAMA (WHICH BTW IS THE GREATEST HERO TEAMUP OF ALL TIME HOLY SHIT) TEAMING UP WITH!? TELL US. AND PONY AND MONOMA. GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI
whew! anyway. they’re all still screwed, but by golly that was nice to have that little invigorating breather of life and hope
LOL OH SHIT THERE’S ANOTHER ONE
okay, SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WHAT ALL MIGHT IS LOOKING AT OR I’M GONNA LOSE IT. holy shit. he was researching the past users of OFA, wasn’t he? WHAT DID YOU FIND OH GOD. he’s not just upset, he looks one step shy of fucking crying?? did he learn about what happened to Nana’s son and his family, maybe? shit shit shit
so Yanagi is interning with Kendou then? so who was that with Hadou and Ryuukyuu and the rest. one of Ryuukyuu’s sidekicks?
IS THAT FUYUMI (SPOILERS FUCKING YEAH IT IS) AND WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE’S FUCKING PRAYING OMG. it looks like she’s kneeling at a family altar?? like saying a prayer for someone who is PRESUMED DEAD, maybe?? LIKE MAYBE A LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER OH SHIT OUT OF NOWHERE THE HYPE DON’T STOP!!
AND WHY DOES NAO HAVE HIS HAT OFF AND CLUTCHED TO HIS CHEST LIKE HE’S TELLING SOMEONE BAD NEWS. GOD WHAT THE HELL EVEN ARE ALL OF THESE PLOT THINGS HAPPENING ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK NEXT
KUROGIRI AHHHHHHHH
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ERI’S HORN!? DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS?? AIZAWA??? HELLO!?!?
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, TEAM OT3. TIME TO FUCKING SUIT UP. APPARENTLY. WELL ALL RIGHT THEN. [JACKET ZIP] [GUN COCKING SOUND EFFECT] LET’S GO PUNCH ‘EM IN THE MOUTH
y’all. this chapter was like plot whiplash. this went in so many different directions and hinted at so many different things that I’m at a complete fucking loss as to what to process first. but I guess the interns are gonna save us all, somehow. lol okay then
#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha 246#shigaraki tomura#hawks#endeavor#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#makeste reads bnha#horikoshi: [makes tomura sexy]#everyone: okay that part is fine I guess#horikoshi: [tells tomura about one for all]#me: :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') welp
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