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#anyway guess im back
greenshi · 4 months
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Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: CPU Kerfuffle (Web Series)
Relationships: Dantoinette (CPU Kerfuffle)/Crimson (CPU Kerfuffle) Chartreuse (CPU Kerfuffle)/Folk (CPU Kerfuffle) Danthony (CPU Kerfuffle)/Corn on the Cob (CPU Kerfuffle) Hoedown (CPU Kerfuffle)/Patchman (CPU Kerfuffle)
Characters: Chartreuse (CPU Kerfuffle) Folk (CPU Kerfuffle) Crimson (CPU Kerfuffle) Danthony (CPU Kerfuffle) Dantoinette (CPU Kerfuffle) Hoedown (CPU Kerfuffle) Cha Cha Slide (CPU Kerfuffle) Square Dance (CPU Kerfuffle) Waltz (CPU Kerfuffle) Whip (CPU Kerfuffle) Dougie (CPU Kerfuffle) The Carrot Collective (CPU Kerfuffle) Duke Salad (CPU Kerfuffle) Corn on the Cob (CPU Kerfuffle) Patchman (CPU Kerfuffle) Chili's (CPU Kerfuffle)
Additional Tags: Gift Fic Holidays Family Dinners Talking Established Relationship Background Relationships Team as Family Family Fluff happy holidays insider!! Hope you enjoy!!
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The Patch Family's holiday dinner, featuring awkward relationships, deities, fights, and the slow and steady work of bettering oneself. All because Corn wanted to invite her boyfriend. (For Insider, for the Discord Village Gift Exchange. Sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy!)
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theloveinc · 2 months
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mating press is so objectively ugly ... embarrassing
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fishfission-dc · 1 year
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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 8: Duke)
<<Part 7: Damian    |    Part 9: Barbara >>
[Masterlist]
Duke: My turn!
Bruce: Finally I can count on something normal.
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Bruce: [migraine noises]
Dick: I feel like this information and Damian is a bad combination.
Damian: Grayson, I am offended you assume I need lessons from Duke on how to lead troops
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Tim: You should bring the beard back Bruce.
Steph: Yeah your amnesia era was kind of a slay
Barbara: My dad’s Batman era was not a slay
Jason: Well maybe slay in a different sense-
Duke: That’s all behind us we’re moving on!
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Bruce: I don’t think-
Jason: Bruce sit down and don’t pretend like this isn’t exactly what you did to form your child gang
Bruce: I don’t-
Steph: Look into our eyes, Bruce, and tell us, your crimefighting children, that you did not start a child gang
Bruce: Hn.
Tim: That’s what I thought.
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Steph, Barbara, Cass: [hysterical laughter]
[talking over each other]
Dick: That is not what I looked like!
Jason: I looked so much cooler as Robin than that!
Tim: I looked cooler because I had pants, I can’t speak for you two.
Damian: My costume has been improved vastly since that iteration.
Steph: Alright, traffic cones.
Duke: Okay really not the point
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Barbara: Seems like this step should’ve come before the outfits?
Duke: It was my first time starting a gang let me live
Jason: Shouldn’t “training” have been part of-
Duke: This is not open for criticism thank you
Steph: Yeah only Bruce can critique Duke’s child-gang leader skills as a fellow child-gang leader
Bruce: [noises of general regret]
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Bruce: Why does something absurd always happen with you guys when I’m gone
Tim: Maybe because nobody in this house knows how to cope with loss or something I don’t know
Dick: Also it gets so much worse Bruce
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Dick: I mean that wasn’t exactly your fault
Jason: Cop Batman didn’t seem to agree
Barbara: [sighs]
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[talking over each other]
Jason: Woah woah woah
Tim: Hired??? You did not hire-
Damian: I did not say that?
Jason: Also I don’t remember being asked nicely I remember saving your a-
Dick: ‘Specialist’ sounds pretty cool and professional thank you Duke :)
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Steph: Is that Damian in a Court of O-
Damian: The situation was resolved I am fine now
Tim: “Beat up some bird guys”
Jason: I mean besides the imprisonment and attack on a school and Dick leaving us in the dust for a hot second there that’s basically what happened
Dick: I did not-
Bruce: Excuse me?
Duke: Don’t worry about it :)
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Tim: That’s n-
Cass: [signing] The Court of Owls is still-
Damian: That is libel
Steph: What a cute picture
Jason: Weren’t there casualti-
Duke: I have no idea what you’re talking about everything was fine in the end and everything is good!
Bruce: I am... so worried about all of you
Barbara: Well anyway let’s keep that streak going, it’s my turn. >:)
<<Part 7: Damian    |    Part 9: Barbara >>
[Masterlist]
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amelia-yap · 1 year
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here
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bramblesnbones · 1 year
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let them rest!!
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puppyeared · 2 months
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id fumble him so bad
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tringstarruuu · 1 year
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✦🌹 Wild Rose 🌹✦ ============ PRINTS
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inkskinned · 10 months
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it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.
like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips
because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.
bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.
and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.
these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?
and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.
in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.
it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.
and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.
"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."
"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."
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willczek-art · 4 months
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NPMD Tarot - The Hierophant
Others from the series: The Devil, The Lovers, The Star, Strength, The World
Symbolism + some WIP/alternatives are under the cut C:
My intuition put Grace as the High Priestess, but from what I've read it's more about spirituality and intuition, while the Hierophant is all about strong traditional beliefs and ruling/leading, so it fits her way better! :D
Left side/Beginning has the dance cancellation sign, since that was her mission and Max was her first victim, while on the right/Ending is Jason and the Black Book, her mission and source of power has changed.
Halo= superiority, holy mission, Red as a sign of danger/death to come (which is why the light it's only on the boys)
She's sitting on what's supposed to be the bleachers C:
Doodles:
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honeyrins · 1 year
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[Batman] 💛 Father - Daughter Ballet Practice 🖤
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robinfollies · 5 months
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KEEP THE DANGER OUT // KEEP THE DANGER IN
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#billie bust up#bbu billie#bbu fantoccio#robin’s art#2024 art#COMPANION PIECES BABY!!! started these last year (month) and finally finished em!!! :33#i could write an ENTIRE essay abt billie and fanto and their parallels and stuff#which actually i love tumblr tags. lets do some of that here!#okAY IM NOT GONNA GO INTO EVERYTHING BUT HERES A BASIC RUNDOWN OF SOME OF MY THOUGHTS#let’s start by looking at goatshire + the lost city of magic !!#both places have some kind of border around them keeping SOMETHING in/out#goatshire’s wall keeping the trolls/other danger out; keeping the villagers inside safe#and the city’s barrier keeping the curse inside; while keeping everyone outside safe from it#but in turn it’s also keeping billie and fanto trapped in their respective places#one moreso than the other i guess but ahahaha. haha. heh. OKAY MOVING FORTH#unrelated but how sick would it be if the barrier broke and let the curse out. just sayiiin.. a lil theory thats been on my mind recently#anyways back to THE POINT#okay this parts gonna sound insane BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT HERE#goatshire citizens / the cursed city citizens.#billie and fanto both kinda stick out in their respecitve homes; fanto being the only uncursed guy and billie with their magic#so theres like. a real disconnect between them and others there. u get what i mean.#theyre both outliers and like something something allegory for neurodivergence and struggling to connect with others probably#SORRY GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. idk how to explain it BUT DO U GET IT!!! DO U UNDERSTAND!!!!#also they were both abandoned by SOMEone stares at arthur#okay specifically whoever fanto’s cretaor was left him behind but u know me im such a fanto elmtwig jak#something something loneliness and being left behind and having ppl around you who kinds understand u but also not totally. kicks rock#someone get these siblings some THERAPY!!!!!!!#this was a very disjointed explanation bUT HOPEFULLY I GOT MOST OF MY THOUGHTS ACROSS GOOD. IM BAD AT EXPLAINING THINGS SORRY#someone order me a yappuccino!!!!! BYE!!!!
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maeo-png · 9 months
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Of course it's fucking THESEUS
okay. i havent shut up about the greek myth aspects of Simon's story and i wont stop now. At first it was a statue of Persephone in the garden, with it's head replaced to be Betty, giving the implication that Betty is the Persephone to Simon's Hades, and it was Simon's status as an antiquarian. and now we've gotten Simon being a huge nerd and bringing up Theseus completely unprompted (so real)
a bit of context in case you need it, Theseus was one of those greek "legendary Heroes" (Achilles, Heracles, etc.), and previously King of Athens, but had managed to dodge most bad things that happen to Greek heroes. he was just stupid and i guess they took pity on him.
The Ship of Theseus or "Theseus' Paradox", which I'd imagine all of tumblr knows by now, but if you don't, is the question on whether if a ship, specifically Theseus', is still the same ship after having all of its parts replaced exactly. To me this makes for such an obvious connection to Simon. Simon's story factors around identity, first and foremost. (yknow. "I Remember You" and all that?) The concept of not knowing what you are fundamentally was originally Ice King's thing, as his previous life as Simon was essentially history. But now that's being brought to Simon. and Simon has the lucidity to process what that means for him.
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space-invading-pigeon · 2 months
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Look I love the Steve has Awful Parents trope but hear me out: Steve's parents are genuinely great people, but his dad's a bit of an idiot and his mom has to be supervised because she never quite learned how to watch her mouth. Steve has some pretty severe anxiety so he genuinely thinks his parents hate him if they aren't there to reassure him.
His dad, Samuel Harrington, is smart but dense; he misses a lot of social cues and sometimes has to be reminded to do basic functions like brushing his teeth or taking his socks off before stepping into the shower. He's bigger than Hop and crazy strong, but is the definition of a pushover when it comes to his family.
Now his mom, Penelope, is small and looks like a shy, demure housewife; she's a shark in human form. She's petty and a bit vindictive, but she has a soft spot for kids and (most of the time) her husband. Her best friend from high school, Wayne Munson, is the only person to insult her and not regret it (he uses that power to make sure she stays humble).
The annual, month-long trip that Samuel Harrington has to take every November means that they aren't around for the first two years of the worst experience of Steve's life, but the summer of 1985, Penelope Harrington gets into a fistfight with a firefighter after he tries to stop her from entering the mall when she hears little Erica Sinclair screaming about her brother and friends still being in the burning building. Samuel Harrington is holding her off the ground as she spits vitriol at the useless first responders when he catches sight of Steve and just walks away from the person his wife has reduced to tears. They lose sight of everything except Steve, sitting beaten and bloody in the back of an ambulance, clutching his coworker with one arm and cradling his other arm to his chest.
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lovesickeros · 6 months
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 3 ]
{☆} characters neuvillette, wriothesley, furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ]
Wriothesley was not a man of superstition. He did not kneel at the altars until his knees bled, he did not pray until his voice gave out– he did not, contrary to popular belief, suffer divine punishment for his apparent lack of respect.
After all, what Divine would look so deep beneath the waves just for a glimpse of the sinners that inhabit it?
Not them, evidently.
He hadn't slept in the past four days, though. There was a heavy air of something where ever he walked– it followed him like a thick fog, lingering and choking him until it dragged him to his knees like a chain. His thoughts inevitably linger on the striking, extravagant letter so conveniently adorning his desk at the fortress– the broken wax seal, the letter tucked into his pocket.
He'd recognize the seal of the Iudex any day. Wasn't often he spoke to him– but the shaky, distorted words hastily etched into the paper made him pause. Neuvillette always had a steady hand– elegant, flowing script that him of flowing water.
It had kept him up for days.
The implications were..haunting. He'd poured over the letter for hours, illuminated only by faint light of his desk lamp. Yet no matter how many times he tries to see what must be hidden beneath the ink, the paper itself even, he finds nothing but the shaky script of a request that sends a bolt of pure frost through his veins.
He noticed, of course, the odd goings on of Fontaine. He'd heard vague whispers of the Divine's hunt for the imposter– he'd heard, too, of the ceaseless rain pelting Fontaine until even he wondered if the nation would finally sink beneath the waves.
It didn't, though. And that only made it all the more odd. Days of constant rain, just for it to stop suddenly..he tugged his coat tighter around him, throwing up the hood of the cloak clasped even tighter over it with a grunt as he leaned around the corner of the alleyway.
He didn't believe in superstition, but this was too hard to ignore as a simple weather anomaly.
Maybe that was why he ignored his gut– he knew that this was probably a trap, at the very least it was suspicious. But damn it, he couldn't ignore the instinct to follow the only lead he had.
His boots clicked against the rain stricken streets as he stalked through the shadows, mindful of the clinking of machine patrols just a few streets away. Yet every step felt heavier then the last as he took a long, good look at the Palais Mermonia. He almost considered bringing out his gauntlets, but he thought better of it– if it came down to it, he needed information. And he would need whoever was waiting for him alive for that– the dead don't speak and all that.
The letter's directions led him in a..rather roundabout entrance to a secluded room, evidently, as he lifted his hand and quietly knocked against the door. Two rapid knocks, pause, another knock, pause, four knocks. It doesn't take long until he hears the latch of the door unlock.
The leather of his gloves creaks as he clenches his fists, adjusting his stance. He's ready for a fight, if he must, but as the door quietly slides open he feel the weight on his shoulders relax slightly– the familiar, sharp features of Neuvillette meets him. He almost reflexively smiles at the way his pupils turn into thin slits, a momentary surprise that he quickly hides well behind a cough and the creak of the door as he pulls it open fully.
"Wriothesley. I see my letter has found you well. Please, come in." Polite as ever, Neuvillette steps aside to let him in, but he can see the exhaustion lining his features– the bags under his eyes aren't as well hidden as he thinks, at least to him. "Bit odd to be inviting me all the way out here in the middle of the night, don't you think?"
His tone is smooth as he steps into the room, brushing down his hood and glancing at Neuvillette over his shoulder, watching as he shuts and locks the door behind him.
"I apologize for the..less then ideal circumstances, but I'm certain you will understand when you see for yourself." He wants to retort, but the Iudex beats him to it, vaguely motioning to the room behind him. An invitation– but he wonders if it's worth taking.
His gut says no, but he's feeling a little risky today, he supposes.
He turns back slowly, barely able to make out the two figures he'd missed on the first glance on the other side of the room– though it's hard to mistake the flourish of the Hydro Archon, even in the dark. It's the other figure that makes the breath hitch in his throat, though.
Or maybe, more accurately, it freezes. So does his blood, his whole body even, locked in stasis for a long, tense moment– he can't see them clearly, but his instincts are going haywire. He can feel his vision almost rattle where it rests against his left shoulder, cold leaking through the layers of clothes and into his skin until he has to fight to suppress a shiver.
He'd always fancied himself the hunter– he was the one who dealt with unsavory folks, in the end. But he felt like a rabbit pinned beneath the crosshairs of a gun this time. He could almost feel the teeth of the bear trap snapping shut around him, crushing bone and flesh beneath cold metal.
For a long moment he thinks he feels fear.
And with a sharp click and a burst of light, it's gone and he takes a raspy, choked breath as he blinks away the blurriness in his vision, taking in the room illuminated by the lamp.
He's not sure what he sees is better, though.
Because his body knows that their Divinity is as real as the blood running through his veins.
So why do they remind him so much of himself? Why does he see the look of the boy who died in a pool of blood not his own in them?
It is a sick, cruel kind of familiar.
Wriothesley didn't believe in superstition– but that was born of the unknown. He knew, now. He could reach out and touch the truth with his own two hands.
The throne of the world was a lie.
The thing sitting on it bled red. And if it bled, it could die.
He clenched his fists tighter– and released, letting his shoulders slump with a huff and a half hearted chuckle. "I wasn't expecting you to be in possession of a wanted criminal when you sent me that letter." He could see the gears whirring in their heads, the subtle dampness in the air reminding him just how delicate a situation it truly was.
He wasn't particularly inclined to getting blasted by a jet of water today.
"Relax, I'm not going to spill to anyone else. Seriously– don't get my jacket wet. It's expensive and a nightmare to dry." His lips quirk into a half smile, but it twists into something almost genuine at the laugh covered up by a cough he hears from the Divine. Bingo.
"It's fine, Neuvillette. Let him go." Their voice is like honey dripping from their lips, and he has to close his jaw with his hand before they can see the way it dropped in his surprise. "Of course, most Divine. My apologies." He relaxes at the sharp click of his heels as he joins them on the bed, his posture far more relaxed then he's ever seen. The Hydro Archon, much to his confusion and amusement, is far too invested in playing with their hair to pay much attention to him now that things have calmed, evidently.
Huh.
They seemed pretty cozy about it, he noted. He guesses they three of them had some time to get acquainted.
"So..who's going to explain what the hell is going on?" He probed, crossing his arms over his chest and watching the three carefully– they all looked tired, but even through the exhaustion neither seemed inclined to stray too far from the Divine. "And what exactly your plan is? You can't keep hiding them here forever. Someone will sniff them out sooner or later."
"We are aware," Neuvillette interjects, lips pursed into a thin line and his thin brows furrowed. "But as I'm sure you've noticed, the hunt for the..forgive me, most Divine, but the hunt for the alleged imposter is still at it's peak."
He grumbles in acknowledgment, hanging up his cloak by the door and sliding out of his heavy coat, resting it over the back of a nearby chair. "Hm. Suppose that's why the patrols are so common now a days."
"I'm afraid so. As you can imagine, we cannot simply ask them to..stop the search. It would draw unwanted attention and suspicion. The Divine would be found immediately if we tried to bring them out of the city at the moment." Neuvillette added, looking proper and elegant, despite the circumstances– even in the face of the Divine and the Archon turning on him and tugging his hair into intricate braids. "So I hope you understand that it was a great risk to send you that letter."
He rubs his chin, huffing in amusement– a solid plan, maybe, but his power didn't extend too far out of the Fortress. He had his connections, sure, but what use were they when he had to get the, uh, "imposter" out of Fontaine? Smuggling them out wouldn't be easy, and then there's the point of where to take them they'd have to contend with.
"Yeah, yeah– I get it. But it's not like I can just smuggle them out or keep them in the fortress. Even if we got them out of the city, we'd have to find somewhere to bunker down, and if someone spots any of us lingering there.." Archons, what a mess he'd gotten himself into. He was really looking forward to the next time he could kick his feet up with a cup of tea.
"I understand. I have already made plans, in fact." Neuvillette hesitates, and he can feel the temperature drops a few degrees. "I..cannot share them in full at the moment, but it is not for a lack of trust." Neuvillette reasoned, hands folded neatly in his lap– not that it hid the way they shook slightly. He wanted to ask, but he thought better of it.
"Eh, I don't hold it against you. The walls have ears, even up here." He deflected, running a hand through his hair. He really hoped Sigewinne wouldn't ask too much when he gets back. "I trust your judgment." He hesitates for a long moment, pulling out a simple, neatly folded letter of his own.
"Memorize the code words, then burn it. I'll be waiting for your next letter." He murmurs, plucking his coat and cloak and tugging them back on one after another, shuffling back over to the latched door. He hesitates again, his hand lingering on the door.
"I just hope your plan is worth the risk, Neuvillette."
He leaves before he can respond, the harsh click of the door ringing in his ears even as he steps back into the shadows of the night.
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arsenicflame · 13 days
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shes finally coming together!! still got a bunch of hand work to do on the blouse and corset, and of course, style the wig, but annes gonna be ready for mcm next weekend!
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nostalgicish · 5 months
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have some Pidge :)!
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