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colleendoran · 3 months

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Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update

AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.

The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.

Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.

You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.

Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.

Go me!

This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt.

And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.

Not complainin' just sayin'.

This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back.

But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!

Then my computer crawled toward the grave.

My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.

There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.

At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.

Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.

That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.

Welcome to my gigabyte hell.

The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.

All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.

But I was not daunted! Nosirree!

I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!

And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.

At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.

I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.

Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.

That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.

Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.

I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.

Then there was news.

I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news.

It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.

Then I got the official bad news.

Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.

Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work.

I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.

"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.

So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.

Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.

Eff this guy.

Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.

I didn't even know there was such a thing.

There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.

I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.

What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.

Hi Ho.

Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.

I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work.

Just cut it out and get me back to work.

And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.

Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.

The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way.

Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.

I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry.

To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.

I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.

I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.

I have never been more grateful in my life.

Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.

Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.

Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.

Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.

But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.

Then I finally got my surgery.

Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.

My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."

Which was super not fun news.

Eff this guy.

The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.

The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.

By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.

I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.

But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.

All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.

After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.

Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.

Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.

But at least my main hospital is super swank.

The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.

So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.

Nearly tore off my damn nostril.

Eff this guy.

Anyway, it was a bad year.

Here's what went right.

I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings, enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.

Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.

No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.

So, yay.

My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.

I got to ring the bell.

I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.

I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.

After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.

Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.

I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.

It's a miracle.

Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.

The new computer works great.

The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.

I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.

I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.

More time for real life.

While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.

OK. Rough year.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Back to work on The Book.

And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks.

#good omens graphic novel #good omens #terry pratchett #neil gaiman #dunmanifestin

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clownhousemargarita · 28 days

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Can you do a Angel dust x shy (Charlie’s younger brother) male reader, he’s really shy and introverted but likes to sing and perform just like his big sister.

"Kissed?" -- Angel Dust.

------- Summary: Despite being the Prince of Hell along side your sister, the Princess of Hell -- you find yourself closed off, just like a certain spider you knew. Pairing: Angel Dust x MALE! Reader Warnings: Sexual implications, Objectification, Suggestive. Enjoy. (I kind of left out the singing part, sorry about that. I sometimes just write and let my hands take me wherever.) --------

You loved your sister, you truly did. But good lord was she emotional. Nothing wrong with that, of course. You found yourself holding complicated emotions -- she had her girlfriend to express her feelings and distress to. You always wondered how Charlie could find trust in someone so easily, especially someone in Vaggie's situation. You envied your sister in a way, that she always saw the good in people. You experienced your family break up all in front of you, so you never had a good example of love and trust in your life. Once your mother and father paid enough attention to how you turned out, they did their best to hide it from your sister. The oldest was always the guinea pig child, as they say. This eventually brought out your introverted self, being a polar opposite to your sister and a great point to compare the two of you. When you arrived at the Hotel project your sister had been working on (because your shit ass father apparently had better things to do) , you felt proud of her. She brought in shitty people, attempted to help them, without working on her own problems. So proud.

You immediately found no connection with anyone there, especially Alastor. He gave you a stomach ache, a stomach ache full of daddy issues. You decided to keep away from him. You saw that Charlie already latched on to him. Another example of her trusting people TOO quickly, especially for your liking. You did find one connection though, someone you enjoyed to listen to. Angel Dust. Yes, they fucking porn star. You enjoyed listening to the porn star talking about whatever the fuck he wanted to talk about. You enjoyed hearing him, knowing there was another layer of him to unwrap. You knew he was much more than what was portrayed on television. He was a pretty spider, you understood why so many people found him so attractive. He was charming, cute, his voice was beautiful. That's honestly all you really thought of him, you never wanted to watch his films. Although he claims he gives consent, you felt as though it was disrespectful. It just didn't feel right to watch a man who you talk to get absolutely railed by some OTHER guy, mind you. It upset you, it shouldn't but it did. Which was a feeling you were going to bottle until it erupts on some inconvenient day. While you sat with Angel Dust as the bar, he rambled about how he thinks pigs are better than any animal to have as a pet. Which you entirely disagreed and continued to fight with him about. "You're biased, you have a fucking pig." You roll your eyes, giving him your hand to talk to. "Exactly! Thas how I know ther the best!" He shoots his hands in the air to emphasize his point. You make a talking motion with your hand as a way to mock what he was whining about. "Fuck you, 'm right. Right fat nuggets? Yes I am! Yes I am, daddy will always defend you, baby." His voice broke out into baby talk as his little piglet began wadding towards him. "Literally hate that you just called yourself daddy right now." Angel grins and shrugs. "I don't do it often, it's the other way around." "Oh, hell no." "What! That's my job!" "Shouldn't be." "Why're you hating on me today? You hate my guts!" "Yeah I do." "You should just rearrange them instead." "That's FUCKING insane, Angel." "Tellin' me you don't wanna?" You groan and slap the back of his head. Angel laughed, letting out a little moan before bringing his arms together to push his chest fluff out. "C'mon." He purrs, leaning closer to you. "I don't wanna fuck you." You flick his forehead, backing him bounce back a bit. He whines again, "Why not! I'd fuck you!" You roll your eyes, though you won't deny your flushed face. "You'd fuck everyone." "Not ya sistah." "That's really comforting actually." "I play for one team." "I'm on the bench." Angel laughed, you loved when you made him laugh. The best word to describe him was always just, 'pretty.' His laugh was pretty, his eyes, his makeup, his voice, everything. You clear your throat a bit before attempting something. "Ever actually kissed someone during a scene?" You ask, not looking him in the eyes. "Are ya dumb? Course I have." He tilted his head, raising a brow. "Nah, like an actual nice kiss. Not something aggressive or whatever." He sits there to think a bit, you knew what the answer was but you still wanted to make sure. He then shook his head.

"Do you not watch my films?" He asks before you speak. You shake your head. Angel looks taken aback. "Rude!" You chuckle and shrug. "Doesn't feel right, you're my friend." Angel felt his face flush up as well. Man, you know your fucked up when basic human decency gets you REALLY going. He only hummed. "Anyway, wanna know what an actual kiss feels like?" Angel's head perked up, his eyes were wide. "You wanna kiss me? Then what?" He grinned at the end of his sentence. "Just kiss, fuck. Relax -- tryna take it to base 34 already." You groan, swatting him. "..okay." He mumbled, his face red. "Never seen you red before." You tease, a smile wide on your face. "Fuck you man! Nobody says shit like how you do." You raise your brow this time. "Whaddya mean?" A smile still visible on your lips as you lean in. Angel feels himself start to sweat. "I dunno." He says, a little to quiet. You think he didn't meant to be so quiet, it just came out that way. Your eyes were lidded, "If you kiss me with tongue I'll bite your tongue, cook it, then feed it to Alastor." You threaten. Angel smiles wide, showing his bright gold tooth. "Thanks for the save." You roll your eyes before finally leaning in and pecking him on the lips. Angel opens his eyes, pauses for a second, before leaning back in for a more passionate kiss. His other arms that were above his waist pull you in, making you sit on his lap as you wrapped your arms around his neck, stuffing your hands into his silky hair. It wasn't sexual, it was loving. And it was a bit too much for Angel. He pulled away, his face felt like it was burning. You looked back at him, waiting for a response. "Are you okay?" You ask. He only whimpered in response, leaning in and setting his head on your shoulder. His grip on your waist was tight, he wasn't crying, just processing. You hear him inhale, before finally saying something. "Thank you." It was mumbled, but enough. You smile softly and pet the back of his head. "Of course, stupid."

#hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel x you #x male reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #angel dust x reader #angel dust #angel dust x male reader #angel dust hazbin hotel #x reader

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aitadjcrazytimes · 9 months

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It's been a good run

But it's time to bring this to a close!

The saga is over, C, T and I are all together. T and I are in the swing of it, C approves as much as it is possible for him to approve of anything, everyone knows about the blog and is chill.

C is back at his rightful place of walking his sister down the aisle.

I'm getting everything I want, and we're all free to make each other miserable until the day we die.

I'm not going to be updating this blog anymore! Nobody else involved with the situation will be submitting any more AITA posts either, because they are either not on tumblr or agreed it would be annoying.

I will say that there is some stuff on here that I've alluded to that isn't necessarily 100% in the spirit of things, so I've included some stuff below the cut for the folks who have caught onto that. I would not suggest reading it if you like how all of this played out and want to keep it that way. I know that's incredibly vague, but I'm not sure how to phrase it without making it weird?

Thank you all for listening and talking to me over the past few days! That's where I'm leaving it!

...

...Is everyone who wants to keep believing in the disaster polycule gone? Yes? OK!

So, this was fake. I made up the whole thing. TK and C and T and everyone else are fictional characters. Did I lie? Yes. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Q: All of it? Even the og AITA post? The followup AITA post? The screenshots?

A: All of it.

Q: Wh... Why did you do this...?

A: Well, first this all started as a Red vs Blue fanfic for the ship Chexer (Church/Tex/Tucker)-

It started as a fanfic for Chexer. However, I was already working on a different fanfic for RVB that was totalling about 15k words at this point (+ at least 90k to go), and I knew I would never have the time or energy to write this one. I thought: yknow. this would be really funny as an aita post.

Q: It was a fanfic of a Halo fanfic series.

A: Yep!

So, I submitted Tucker's perspective. I did not expect for it to get more than maybe 100 notes at most. I totally thought someone would call it out right away.

The funny part is, if I'd dedicated all this energy to a fic instead of this blog, I'd probably have about 15-20 thousand words of fic already, but whatever, can't ruin my personal day!

Also, I wanted to see how many people would figure it out/how long it would take for it to become too obvious that this was a fandom thing. I was dropping names and RvB lore since the beginning. A few people did figure it out, and I DMed them in private to let them know.

Q: But why make the blog then?

A: Because I love to lie and be a nuisance to the general populace! <3

It was always my intent to wait until Carolina's perspective got posted (i am honestly still shocked i got away with "Carey/Georgia/West Virginia/Alabama/Miss Louisiana 1988"), let it simmer for about a day, then come clean. Which is what I'm doing now!

The reason I'm coming clean now instead of dragging it out is because I don't want anyone to feel stupid or like they got duped. You're not stupid! You were a part of this story! This was, as one anon said, a creative writing project. It was a collaboration! Thank you so much for helping me!

That said, I'm sorry to anyone that finds this disappointing! I had a blast doing this, but I will not be doing it again. I have gotten my fill. I have had my taste of being an influencer, and now I can go on with my life without ever feeling like I need to start a youtube channel.

Q: How did you keep up with a consistent timeline?

A: I didn't, especially at first. But in my time as a liar who lies about things, I have found that usually people are willing to believe you when you say "yeah, i lied about that".

Q: Wait, what about the thing with your kid?

A: Yeah, I fucked up on this one. In the other fic I was/am writing, Tucker was around 33. So, when I was saying what Junior's age was, I subtracted it from 33 and got 18. It wasn't until I was showing my partner the blog and they said "Wait, he had his kid at 13??????" that I realized I had fucked up. Oops!

Q: Was it really ALL fake?

A: For the most part. I will say that I did actually drop chocolate cake all over my tits that one time and had to shower by myself like a fucking loser. That one was true. I did also get my nails done for the first time ever, which did actually affect my typing. And I am in a band (but so is Tucker, canonically)! There are a few other things as well, but I don't want to list all of them.

Q: DID you ever read homestuck?

A: Nope. And I never will.

Even the title, though I will say that the title I came up with was "Leonard "Alpha Bitch" Church's Decidedly Not Lo-Fi Beats to Get Nasty and Get Clean To: The Movie"

Q: So there was never a combination sex/bathtime playlist?

A: Maybe! But perhaps more accurately: the combination sex/bathtime playlist was inside of you all along. You can make it. There are only three songs on there that are canon to the lore of this blog. Those are No Children by The Mountain Goats, Take It Out On Me by Thousand Foot Krutch, and one unknown song from the album Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV by Coheed and Cambria (Yep, the call was coming from inside the house, I gave Church my music taste). I had intended this to be Wake Up, but it's out of my hands now. The rest is yours to fill in.

Q: What's your main blog, so I can follow you?

A: Hi, this is aitadjcrazytimes. You're not getting that.

Q: Your AO3 handle?

A: Nope, not that either.

You will never find me. And that's the way I want it. You will see me in every blog. Every new follower. Every stranger you meet on the street. You will look into your discord kitten's eyes, and you will absently wonder if he was the one behind aitadjcrazytimes. And you will never know for certain.

Q: But-

A: Let me live on in your memory. The only person who knows both who I am and the fact that I did this is my partner, who is not into RvB or commonly on tumblr. I am not a RvB blog. I am not a writing blog. I am a nobody on the fringes of tumblr society who's been here long enough to know how to remain in the shadows.

And, even if you do manage to find me, against all odds:

No one will ever believe you.

I am closing my askbox. I am also closing my messages. If you have anything to say to Tucker or Me (tumblr user aitadjcrazytimes), you are welcome to do so in the replies or reblogs, but you will not be receiving an answer. I'll keep this blog up for anyone that wants to go through after the fact and do a deep dive or what have you.

Thanks to everyone who made this into the wild ride it was! Live long and get fucked or whatever! Xoxo <3

#final post #if you don't say goodbye then aitadjcrazytimes isnt really gone #they're just not here right now #<-so that was a fucking lie -tk from the future

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ellephlox · 1 year

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Castle in the Sky

Summary: You try sparring with Matt because he wants you to learn self-defense. A minor bump to the head, as it turns out, opens up many doors.

Pairing: Matt x f!reader

Warnings: Hit to the head, some physical intimacy (but no smut)

A/N: Haven't written in months because I've been working on a writing project of my own but here I am again!! I'm absolutely THRILLED to see the new photos of Born Again and I'm also dying to watch Kin season 2 (haven't been able to watch it yet unfortunately).

"Matt, I know it probably pains you to hear this, but I'm seriously going to be a waste of your time."

"You could never be a waste of my time."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but really, I don't think you understand just how bad this is going to go."

"It'll go fine. Just give it a shot." Matt was in a tee and shorts, an excited energy in the way he beckoned you forward. Training, he called it. Self-defense lessons.

It sounded more like a painful exercise to you.

"Besides," you continued. "Let's say I was walking down the street and some malicious guy approached me with a knife and was all, Give me your money or I'll kill you—"

Matt scowled. "If that ever happens, I'll kill him first."

"In that situation," you pressed on, "I guarantee that I would freeze. Any punches or flying kicks or whatever that you have tried to teach me would be sitting uselessly in the recesses of my mind. I'd be scared or disbelieving and I wouldn't even move. Really."

"It wouldn't hurt to try learning, sweetheart."

You sighed. "I'll try, for your sake, but don't think that I don't see through your motivations."

"My motivations?"

"You just want to kick my ass and then laugh as I succumb to your ninja skills."

"It might possibly be a contributing factor."

You gave him a light push. "Alright, then. So you really think you can teach me something?"

"Sure. Anyone can learn." Matt quickly pushed the sofa backwards and faced you, suddenly appearing much more imposing than he did when... well, when he wasn't about to spar with you. You lifted up your hands uncertainly, trying to mimic the boxing pose you'd seen him take on in Fogwell's.

"Okay. That's your first mistake," Matt said, stepping forward to grab your wrists and adjust them.

"How did I already screw up? I only lifted my hands."

"When you're assuming a defensive stance, you don't want to keep your hands that low. It's better to keep them up a bit higher to protect your ribs and face."

He moved your hands upward. "Good. You've got your thumbs right."

"See, I know what I'm doing," you said dryly. "Next time I get attacked on the street they'll be intimidated by my correct thumb placement."

"And you'll be grateful that your thumbs aren't broken after you throw a punch. I learned that the hard way." Matt paused for a moment. "I made the mistake of putting my thumb out. Stick didn't tell me. He said he thought it'd be a good way for the lesson to stick if there was a physical reminder."

"Bastard. Now I want to learn how to fight." You lifted up your fists. "Because if I ever get the chance to meet Stick, I assure you that he will be very familiar with my fists."

"I appreciate that support, but if that ever happens, I very vehemently would recommend against that." Matt held out his hands. "Attack me. I want to see what your fighting style is."

"You mean my fighting style or lack thereof?"

"Just go for it." Matt stood there confidently, his hands crossed in front of him casually and his eyes trained on your collarbone.

"I don't want to hurt you," you said uncertainly. "I mean, I know how dumb that sounds, because you're freaking Daredevil, but it feels wrong to just... throw a fist at you."

Matt only laughed. "Sweetheart, you won't hurt me."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Um." You considered your hands, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "Don't judge me, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Tentatively you sent a fist towards the left side of his abdomen. You expected him to just sidestep it, especially since it was a slow-moving punch — you didn't have the heart to put all of your strength into it, no matter what he said — but instead he blocked your arm, braced his other arm against your own, and forced you to twist around until your back was against his front and his arm was around your neck. "Come on, sweetheart, you can do better than that."

He was taunting you, and it worked. "Fine," you said, and you tossed your elbow back with the intention of slamming it into him, but it hardly did anything at all; he took the blow as though you'd thrown a marshmallow at him.

"Go for the groin," he advised.

"Don't have to tell me twice," you said, lifting up your knee with the intention to nail him, but he took the opportunity to sweep your other leg out from under you. You fell to the floor, groaning. "I thought you wanted me to try getting you in the groin?"

"And I wanted to show you how that makes it easy for an assailant to knock you down. One foot on the ground is a surefire way to have zero feet on the ground."

"Come on, you kick all the time — flying kicks, spinning kicks, twirly-whirly kicks—"

"I don't do twirly-whirly kicks. And you can go for the groin, occasionally, but only when the timing is right and you won't get knocked down."

"I promise you that if I somehow manage to get in a fight with someone, the last thing I'll be doing is analyzing whether or not the timing is right for a groin kick, Matt."

"Okay. Try a heel palm strike." He took your arm and guided you through the movement, flexing your wrist and showing you how to pull your arm back quickly. "And go for the nose, or throat, if you can. That's effective. The ears are a good target, too. It's disorienting, even for someone who doesn't rely on their hearing to move around."

You gave him a look. "Please tell me that you don't get your ears boxed on a regular basis."

"Only twice." Matt kept going before you could say anything else. "There's several escapes I want to show you, in case you're ever being held against your will."

He proceeded to demonstrate to you the different ways you could free yourself, whether you were held in a headlock or your hands were tied; for his sake you tried to do as best as you could, though you felt fairly certain that each time you "freed" yourself, it was Matt letting you go, so you could experience the maneuver fully.

"Now get down," he said.

"On the floor?"

"For escaping while mounted. Lie on the floor, on your back."

"Why do I feel like you have ulterior motives?" you asked, smirking at him as you obeyed. He climbed on top of you and grabbed both of your wrists with a devious glint in his eyes.

"Never said I wouldn't enjoy myself," he said. He locked his legs around your waist and grabbed both of your wrists, pinning them to the floor. "So, if you ever find yourself in a position like this — God forbid — then what you're going to do is—"

"Panic and wait for the devilishly handsome Daredevil to show up and rescue this damsel in distress?" At Matt's expression, you backpedaled. "I'm kidding. Kidding. I'll fight back."

"Even though your wrists are pinned, your hands themselves are still free. Try to grab my wrist with your left hand."

You tugged, and Matt allowed you to pull your hand over so that you had your left hand securely locked around his wrist. "And what if my assailant is too strong and I can't do this?"

"Odds are that no matter how strong they are, if you can start kicking with your legs, spit in their face, or scream — anything to distract them — they're not going to be 100% focused on your one left wrist. They'll be contending with your flailing legs."

"Okay," you said doubtfully. "So I just grab your wrist... then—"

"Put your foot on my hip, push, and pull at my wrist simultaneously."

"But you've locked yourself around me," you said, struggling fruitlessly. "How am I supposed to move my legs?"

"Roll onto your hip. It'll create space. And if you can, reach up and grab the ear of the assailant, then pull them to the side."

"I'm not testing the ear move on you," you said firmly. "Nope."

"I second that," he admitted. "But try the hip roll."

To your surprise, it actually worked. And this time, you felt the natural shifting of your bodies, so that you could even slightly believe that it would work on your assailant no matter how big or strong they were. You rehearsed the move with Matt several times, swapping out which hand you used to reach up to him.

"Okay. Again, and faster. Real-time, if you can. And at the end, I want you to roll out all the way, and get out from under me," Matt said.

"Okay," you said, feeling that things wouldn't bode too well for you if Matt was going to put an ounce of effort in, but you got back in position. He grabbed both of your wrists, this time digging his knees painfully into your ribs, just enough for it to hurt without doing any real harm. You gasped, struggling for breath, and lunged forward to loosen yourself slightly, trying to roll over to no avail.

"Try again," Matt said, and you did, spontaneously leaning upwards as you jerked to the left and reached for his wrist. Once you had it, you pulled as hard as you could, pushing your knee against him. You could feel him yielding a bit, going easy on you — which slightly pissed you off even though you knew you'd have no chance against him otherwise — but at the same time it was still exhilarating.

Finally you freed yourself, and rolled out to the left and onto your knees, just as Matt followed through with your shove and lunged to block you.

"Keep going," he urged. "Get back on your feet."

You obeyed, adhering to his commands as he gave them, and it really was like a waltz once you got into the rhythm, dodging and learning to recognize which hand motions meant what.

"Now try dodging a new type of punch," he said, as a way of warning. "I'll be coming from this side over here."

"Which way do I go? To the left?"

"Right. And be ready, because this time I'm going to fight back more."

You weren't quite sure how it happened, though. The sweep of his arm, as you put all your weight to the left, resulted in you losing your balance and toppling over the follow-through of his leg, your arms to the side and unable to get forward quickly enough to brace yourself as your head made a beeline for the edge of the coffee table.

The impact it made felt as though someone had hammered a nail into the top of your forehead. You yelped, hand now free so that it could jump to the spot of impact.

Matt's reaction was visceral; like a TSA agent oddly eager to frisk, he had his hands out and seeking the exact spot where your forehead currently felt like the site of an excavation. "Dammit, I'm sorry — are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Sorry. I didn't think that would happen."

"Why'd you go left?"

"You told me to go left."

"No, I said right."

You snorted despite yourself, closing your eyes against the ebbs of pain. "I interpreted 'right' as 'correct'. My bad."

"No, it's my bad, I should have—"

"Not your fault at all," you managed, brushing at your head. You expected blood, but it was dry. "Just a bump. I should have seen that coming."

"You probably have a concussion." Matt's tone was strangled, his left hand cupping the back of your head while his right grazed the bump. "I could call Claire, and have her come over—"

"Uh, no." The thought of having Matt's practically on-call nurse drop everything she was doing to come help you was mortifying. "I don't even think I have a concussion. Ask me my name. Bet I can ace any question you've got." Physically you pulled his hand away from your head. "Matt, really. It's okay."

"You're trying to mollify me."

"You're too worried," you said playfully. "It'll take more than a little bump to take me out. If you can get sliced up by the Yakuza, I think I can handle a love tap from the coffee table."

"That wasn't a love tap. I could hear the impact on your skull. And I can feel the heat already from the bruise forming."

"See, we don't need Claire. I'll never need to go to a hospital again with you around." You patted at your head and ignored the accompanying stab of pain that would otherwise have made you flinch if Matt wasn't there to detect it. "Can we go through the move again?"

"No."

"But you were the one who wanted me to learn in the first place."

"We'll go to Fogwell's another time," he said. "Someplace with floor mats and no sharp coffee table edges."

You rolled your eyes, but you could already see that his mind wasn't going to budge. He sat in a crouch, his head still tilted towards you as though he couldn't help keeping a constant monitor on your head, and it struck you, with the position he was currently in, how easy it would be to knock him over.

"Cow tipping!" you hollered at him, diving forward and throwing all of your weight against his side; from his crouched position on the tips of his feet, there was nowhere to go but sideways, and for one delicious microsecond, Matt Murdock, the same man you had seen balance precariously on fire escapes and jump nimbly from roof to roof, was forced to fumble his arms out in time to catch himself as he fell to his left. You leapt atop him, straddling his chest with your knees.

"You took down a blind man who was trying to help you," he mocked. "Shame on you. Were you faking the head pain, too?"

"I'm not that devious," you said. "Say mercy and I'll let you go."

Matt tipped his head back against the floor, his eyes reflecting the evening sunlight as it came out from behind the clouds. Without seeming to notice, his hands crept up the outside of your thighs, making goosebumps prickle on your skin. "You think that I need your acquiescence in order to get up?"

You leaned forward, pressing your hands against his shoulders. The muscles tensed under your fingertips, the biceps under your thumbs ready to spring into action at any moment. "As far as I'm concerned, right now I've conquered you, and if anyone were to see us then I think they'd agree with me."

"It's touching to see how much this means for you," he said. "I'll let you enjoy your victory for a bit longer."

"And then?"

"And then I get to win." His voice was lower, reminiscent of the devil, and your stomach dropped. Still you could feel the muscles poised under your hands, and you could feel your blood rising into your cheeks as his own hands crept lower.

You egged him on. "You can try," you said. "I'm warning you, though, that I could beat you whenever I want, easily. I just like to pretend I'm not as strong as I actually am. Wouldn't want to hurt the ego of Daredevil."

"Of course. How thoughtful of you, sweetheart."

"Yeah, you know me."

"I'm guessing that was you who took down the trafficking ring a few nights ago, then? Left all those men unconscious in the alley?"

"Uh, obviously." You leaned in closer. "That's why you've got to play nice, Murdock. If I get mad, I might just go all Hulkish on you and you'll be begging for my mercy—"

Quickly enough that you jumped, startled, Matt rolled out from underneath you with even more ease than you would have expected, and with a swift grab of your wrists, he pinned you down beneath him, just like earlier when you sparred.

"You were saying?" he asked, grinning. Immediately you tried the move that had worked on him previously — he definitely was going easy on you earlier, then — but this time he blocked it. You scowled, and tried again; once more it yielded nothing.

"You're not getting up until you make some amendments to what you were saying, Y/N."

"Well, let me clarify," you began, and Matt's lips lifted upwards as he began to smirk.

Nope. He's not getting any satisfaction yet.

"I'm currently giving you the impression that you've won," you continued, and his expression shifted, as though he were trying not to laugh. "It's an important part of keeping your ego up, of course. Every so often I like to give you these little nuggets of delusion."

"Nuggets of delusion," Matt repeated.

"Sure. I'm selective with them. But when I feel like you need a bit of a self-esteem boost, then bam, you've got it. So right now, I'm giving you a nugget. It's all part of my strategy." You lay beneath him, the floor hard on your back, as he seemed to mull over what his response was going to be.

Instead, he simply took your wrists and moved them above your head, where he pinned both to the floor with his left hand and then moved his right hand down to your throat.

"What?" you managed. "You don't like delusion nuggets?"

"I want you to admit you're lying."

"But you already know I'm lying."

"I want the verbal confession."

"I confess to nothing," you said stubbornly, your heart picking up as his thumb brushed over the center of your throat.

"Try again, sweetheart. And remember that I know where you're most ticklish."

"Uh... you are by far the strongest man I've ever met and I could never compare to you?"

"And what else?"

"I love you?" you said, your voice higher than usual, because damn, Matt leaning directly above you was distracting.

"Better." He released your wrists and pulled you up into him.

You buried your head into his chest, sighing. "Can't believe you just tackled a concussed person to the floor."

"That was not a tackle. That was... one percent effort. Even half a percent." He paused a moment. "And you said the bump wasn't anything to be concerned about."

"Mm. Did I lie?" you asked him, kissing his hand.

"No," he admitted. "But I still don't trust you."

"You shouldn't. Because the next time you're tying your shoes, or cleaning out underneath the oven or something, I'm totally going to cow tip you again."

"Seriously? 'Cow tipping'? Did you make that up?"

"For a guy who knows everything, I'm appalled you don't know what cow tipping is."

"Please tell me you've never actually shoved a real cow over."

"You really do think poorly of me," you said, stretching. "Just you wait, Murdock. When you least expect it, you shall be cow tipped again. Just you wait."

#daredevil #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #marvel #reader #reader insert #x reader #daredevil x reader

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starrbright · 11 days

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𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭| Matsukawa Issei

As the title says, this is just me writing Issei in a different light from what I've always thought of him. But a study as well of what I do think of him, can be an outside part of my series I've yet to write about him. And lastly, another venting of mine, I think I projected too much on this, really. I had a light situation that happened and bothered me so much earlier that i had to stopped writing my wip for kishibe (it'll come out this may or before, i promise this time), so.....byeeeee, i teared up at writing this. @iwaberry, @seijhoeist 😁

499 words. LMAOKSKSJSKXKSK. fluff. angst. light smut. all my y/n are afab, fat and of color. La Belle Dame Sans Merci by Marc Fishman

Issei is Issei. Full of wit he effortlessly drives to a cunning state. Persuasive. Simply a snake that slither to anyone for whatever in his gain, the sin that rises from beneath one they didn't even know was there in the beginning, the beautiful murmur that echoes, the one wouldn't dare tempt themselves to be trapped. He's never been a deceiver despite his games, truth always easy to show behind his facade as he intends—he's him.

But, unfortunately—it doesn't work on you. In some very specific cases you most need it, that is.

As his cunningly self is engraved in him, so is a part of yours that keeps you grounded, humbled, mostly too anxious, just straight up so resentful of making a mere mistake that couldn't even count as one in the eyes of many but it is for you. The want to be perfect. Your pride that embarrasses you, one that shames to think it's more about your image than kindness, that strangles you for praise.

It's all unyielding even for a man like him.

He's already found it that part of you is as said; indeed indelible. An endless cycle of episodes.

You're his lover. The most delicate for him. Despite that he tried to ease that away from you, he didn't—never deceived your mind. Then came a simple solution to him after barely thinking about it.

The most normal or rather easy to do that can anyone think of. What he has always done for you to have nothing in your brain.

What he's plainly been doing from the start; loving you.

"My baby." Issei sighs heavily against your mouth that merely kisses him back, as you're already overwhelmed with the scarce time he's began fucking you, keeping his slow thrusts in your cunt above you with his one hand tightly gripped on the headboard of his bed and the other wrapped around your wide and soft back close up against him. Keeping his steady and antagonizing pace amidst the words he praise for you, " I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. My baby. My baby. I love you. My love. My baby. " —relishing your tears, it's liquid gold to him out of what he gives you. "Prettiest thing." Says him as your tears are kissed by his lips.

You're lost in him. Always willingly bending to him until mindlessly as you want it. Moans weakly drowned by your gentle cries, before you can utter anything, he takes your lips again, tears in your mouths. "Y'know, you don't need to say a thing." He mutters between his kisses, still going with the same pace of his pleasure for you both. It's always easy to use his sharp tongue as it is for making you hear how beautiful you are truly.

" Just be good for me, doll. "

" Always good for me. "

" Lovely girl, mine. "

" You're so good to me. "

Loving you is he most loves besides being himself.

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jae-bummer · 8 months

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It's Only Lunch

Request: I just binged through My Idol Season 1&2 within a day and I’m in love with the way you write!! Then I saw your requests are open and I was even happier, cause I’m in desperate need of some idol!DK x nonidol!reader fluff :( I don’t have anything specific in mind you can do whatever you want, it can be angsty too if you want, just please give him a happy ending. There’s just not enough DK on this app in my opinion :( I hope you’re doing good and have a great day and if you ever actually write this then tysm!! 🩷🩵

Pairing: Seventeen DK x Reader

Genre: Fluff

"Hey, Y/N."

Looking up from your desk and towards the door of your office, you smiled. "DK, what brings you here?"

As soon as his name left your lips, you could see a bashful expression cross his face. Glancing down to his shoes before looking back up to you, he offered a tentative smile. "I just happened to be in the building and thought maybe you'd like to grab lunch with me?"

Blinking back in surprise, you cleared your throat. Technically, you and Dokyeom were coworkers, he an idol (obviously) and you working in the lower levels of management at Hybe. You had been part of the production crew for many a Seventeen project, so you had grown familiar with the guys over the years.

DK, more often than not, was the member that seemed to naturally gravitate toward you. When ordering lunch, passing out water, or resting on a break, he seemed to subconsciously seek you out. His shyness was adorable your first few run-ins, but once you realized he may have had a crush, you were already in far too deep yourself.

"I brought my lunch today," you managed, the words tasting sour in your mouth. "I was hoping I could take it at my desk to work through some things I'm behind on."

It wasn't a lie. You did need to catch up, but you also couldn't admit that hanging out privately with DK scared the crap out of you. He was gorgeous, side-splitting levels of funny, and completely unattainable. You knew if you spent more time around him, it wouldn't be long until you caught feelings.

"Oh," he chirped, beginning to nod. "Yeah, of course, I understand."

"Maybe next time though?" you asked, desperate to see that smile light up his face again.

"Of course," he hummed, giving you what you hoped for, but not nearly as genuine. "I'll stop by again when I'm back in the building."

And that's how the new routine began. At least once a week DK would show up in your doorway and you would think of a new and creative excuse not to fall in love with him.

Nearly a month after his original visit, you were typing out a relatively important email when your favorite nuisance showed up.

"Y/N," he drawled, leaning against the door frame. "I think I know your answer, but I'm here anyway."

You smiled sheepishly, ducking your head in an attempt to cool the heat scorching across your neck. You knew he would likely catch on to your MO, but you hadn't realized how embarrassing being confronted would be. "I'm sorry, DK. Things are so busy with your upcoming promotions and-"

"Can I at least grab your lunch for you from the common area?" he asked, tilting his head. "It'll save you a few steps."

"Sure," you nodded. He was incredibly sweet, which made it suck even more. "It's in the purple bento box."

"You got it!" he smiled, giving a quick spin before launching down the hallway.

You really did need to suck it up and either tell him to quit coming by or accept his advances. Just because you were a coward didn't mean that he needed to suffer. You were better not being perceived by anyone at his level of attractiveness. It would only be a matter of time before you somehow did something mortifying and turned him off forever.

After plugging away at the email for a few more minutes, you furrowed your brow and looked toward the hall. Surely, he should have found your food.

Just as you were about to hit send and head out his way, he appeared again. Holding your bento, his face was twisted in confusion. "This is yours, right?"

"Yeah," you said slowly. "Why?"

"Well," he sighed. "I looked for it everywhere in the fridge but couldn't find it. I moved everything around and was about to give up when I noticed it out of the corner of my eye. It was sitting in the communal sink, empty."

"Empty?" you muttered, standing. Crossing the room toward him, you took the lunch box from his hands. Sure enough, there was not a trace left of the food you had packed that morning. "I bring the same box every day. Who would eat out of it?"

"Did someone new start?" he asked, tilting his head. "Someone could have done it by mistake?"

"I guess," you sighed, dropping it on your desk. "I guess I can order in..."

"Why don't you let me go grab something?" he asked. "We can eat together in your office, so you don't even have to step away."

The hopeful look in his eyes crushed what little self-preservation you had left. This option really provided no wiggle room for an excuse. "I don't want to make you go to all that trouble..."

"No trouble at all!" he smiled, already turning away from you.

"Wait," you sighed, teetering on the line that you had drawn for yourself. "Let me send this email and I'll come with you."

"You will?" he gasped, but immediately schooled his features. "I mean, sounds good."

Mentally preparing yourself to rip off the Band-Aid, you may have spent a bit longer on the email than you had intended. It was difficult to think clearly with DK wandering around your space, peering at every framed picture and book you had haphazardly stacked around.

"Ready?" you asked, after reading through what you had written for probably the thirtieth time. At this point, you would just hit send and hope for the best.

"Born ready," he smiled, his eyes disappearing into crescents. "There's this really cute noodle place right down the street. I was thinking we could go there?"

Your brain fished around in its recesses for the restaurant he was talking about. If you could recall correctly, it was a notorious spot for couples. The thought made you swallow, hard. "Sure."

"Perfect," he hummed. "Madam?"

Offering his elbow to you, you hesitated before taking it. So, this was really happening. You were going to break down and go on a not-date with Dokyeom. He had labeled it as just "grabbing lunch," but why did you feel like it was so much more?

As you would realize later, it was because if you gave an inch, Dokyeom would take a mile. It wasn't long into your walk before he started complaining about it being sweltering outside. The weather was only 24°C, so it was hardly balmy. After peeling off his jacket, he quickly switched up to holding your hand.

Glancing down in surprise to see his long fingers intertwined with yours, you looked back up to him, wide-eyed.

"Is this okay?" he asked cheerfully.

You gave a silent nod before fixing your eyes in front of you again. You were so screwed.

Against your better judgement, lunch with DK was a blast. Being around him was so effortless. As you talked over jajangmyeon, it was easy to open up and show sides of yourself that you only reserved for those closest to you. You didn't realize you were even doing it until after you already had, making you go into an overthinking spiral of whether or not you were sharing too much.

In the end, it didn't really matter because Dokyeom seemed to like it that way.

When he returned you to your office, he gave you a long hug before insisting on coming by again soon. After everything, you sat behind your desk, a bit numb in the aftereffects of all things DK.

He hadn't asked for your number and aside from holding your hand, he really hadn't made any advances. His body language was overwhelmingly flirty, but you weren't sure if that's just how he was naturally or not.

"Accept it for what it is," you muttered to yourself, shaking off the cobwebs in your brain. Even if things didn't cross over into "more than friends" territory like your heart was already considering, just having him as a close friend would be fulfilling enough.

No matter how many times you told yourself that DK was just displaying normal, friendly behavior, it was all thrown out of the window when he showed up again the next week.

Carrying a bouquet of what looked to be a mix of wildflowers, he strode up to your desk and sat on the edge. "Now, we've made remarkable progress last week when you had no other options but to have lunch with me. Can we defy the universe and have it happen again?"

You let out a surprised snort. "Maybe if you gave me an idea of when you were coming, I'd be more prepared to leave the office."

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked. "These are for you by the way."

"I would have been only a little heartbroken if you came into my office with flowers that were not for me," you smiled, taking them from his hands.

"So, are you setting me up for a gentle letdown?" he asked, quirking a brow. "Or are you wanting to try the new burger place a block down?"

"I really-"

"Need to finish up this project, so I'm working at my desk," he finished with a soft smile.

"But this time, I really do mean it," you laughed.

"You didn't before?!" he gasped.

Shit. You didn't want to let that little factoid slip. See, this is what happened when you let your guard down around him.

"I may or may not have been avoiding your lunch invitation for a few weeks," you winced. "But you're intimidating!"

"On what planet?!"

"Earth!" you groaned, hiding behind your fingers.

DK sighed before sliding off of your desk and facing you. "I'll forgive you if you come eat with me."

"Well, that's not fair," you pouted.

"Fine," he harrumphed. "I'll just have to take it into my own hands like last time."

"Like last time?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at him.

Covering his mouth with his hand, DK stood as still as a statue.

"You know," you grumbled, crossing your arms. "You're not going to get out of this by hoping I forget about you because you're not moving."

"It would work if you were a t-rex," he muttered, dropping his arms to rest at his side.

"Spill it, Seokmin," you sighed.

"I accidentally ate your lunch last week," he said quickly.

"I'm sorry," you laughed. "You what?"

"When I was grabbing your bento out of the fridge, I had a lightbulb moment," he whined. "I thought if you didn't have your food, you'd be forced to eat with me...so I just...inhaled it. You make excellent bibimbap by the way."

You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or smack him. "You set me up!"

"Because you were avoiding me!" he exclaimed, sending an accusatory finger your way. "You said it yourself!"

"Because you're intimidating!" you repeated.

"How?! How am I intimidating and why is this news to me?!"

"You're incredibly dreamy!" you blurted. "And I was scared that I was going to fall for you, alright?"

DK took a small step back as if you had actually chose to smack him. He kept quiet as his wide eyes blinked at you.

"Please say something," you whispered, pinching the bridge of your nose.

At a painfully slow rate, a smile spread across his lips. "You think I'm dreamy?"

Plopping into your rolling chair, you leaned against your desk, and hid in the fortress of your arms. It was not physically or mentally possible for you to be more horrified.

"Y/N!" DK cooed, immediately stepping around to where you were sitting. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he rested his chin on your head. "That is the cutest thing I have ever heard."

"I hate it," you muttered into your sleeves.

"I don't," he chuckled. "And if you haven't figured it out by now, I think you're pretty dreamy too."

"Really?' you squeaked.

"You think I offer to buy lunch and flowers for Mingyu once a week?" he asked. Nuzzling his face into your hair, he laughed again. "I guess we were both hiding something from each other."

"I can't believe you ate twice just to get me to go out with you," you muttered, finally sitting up.

"You're worth the stomachache I had afterwards," he smiled. "I was scared that if I tried to kiss you, the nerves would make my stomach pop."

"Please tell me you didn't eat my lunch again today?" you joked. DK's lips fell into a flat line as he looked away from you. "You didn't!"

"I was prepared to do whatever I had to do!" he gasped. "Now are you coming with me to lunch or not?!"

"Yes," you laughed, shaking your head. "I absolutely will."

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confused-disaster32 · 3 months

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Hi! So you can call this a rant or a vent or whatever I don't rlly care - I just wanted to put some of my opinions out there bc it is eating me inside out to keep my opinions on Alastor's sexuality and all of the discourse about him being shipped to myself.

Also i'd like to state that I'm writing this as someone who is aroace but has no actual wish to be in a romantic relationship and actually struggles to so much as picture what that's be like for myself. I would also like to state how I'm not speaking for the whole community and others will have different opinions to myself.

Firstly - aroace is a spectrum (as someone who is on the aroace spectrum btw) and I completely agree with ppl who say that it is a spectrum and shipping has always existed and you can't rlly stop an entire fandom. My only problem is when ppl completely ignore that he is aroace while doing this, bc to me it seems like there's so much potential to having him have to go through those types of emotions and to write him off as if he's completely allo not only can make some people feel unseen but also just isn't as fun.

Also I kind of believe that he'd possibly date someone for the entertainment - like even if he didn't exactly feel romantic attraction maybe he'd be willing to be around someone closely bc he might like the reactions he'd be getting. (example: he might've stayed in a relationship with Vox maybe not out of pure attraction but if he found out that affection could make the TV short-circuit? He'd be interested)

Adding to that, I personally do not actually ship him with anyone romantically due to his character + the fact that I am projecting my own distaste for romance on him but you do you ig.

Also, on the note of nsfw around him - sometimes you cannot stop a fandom, rule 34 exists and some people who are asexual sometimes may want to have sex and all of that stuff. Personally I think he'd probably be sex-repulsed due to the fact that he canonically has issues with being touched.

ALSO, i personally think that way too many people are brushing over the idea of putting Alastor in a QPR - like that would literally be so awesome.

Alastor x Rosie? Cute af (to me Rosie gives of aro vibes too, but more romance - favourable) like they're already besties and honestly I think that Rosie would defo help him figure out about his identity considering that he's quite obviously not all that sure about slang and stuff.

Vox x Alastor - It has the potential to be SO FUCKING FUN like, you get to experiment with how they feel for each other, maybe what Alastor's got going on bc he died before being aroace was rlly a thing and he'd be confused about how he felt about Vox for sure.

Lucifer x Alastor - I quite like it, ik that Lucifer is supposed to be with Lillith but she did take an extremely long hiatus on her family up in heaven so i think it's okay. Plus the idea of them bonding and becoming close due to Charlie is wonderful.

Even angel and Alastor - maybe after Val Angel doesn't want a super sexual relationship - maybe he's not all that interested in something purely romantic either and though I love huskerdust this would still be pretty cool.

Really all I'm saying is; be considerate. Incorporate the fact that Alastor is Aroace, even if you do ship him - in or out of QPRs - and ofc sometimes writing someone who is part of a group ur not in is difficult (coming from someone who often struggles in writing especially when it comes to romance) but taking a crack at it might actually turn out to be rlly cool.

But please don't ignore his aroace-ness, there's not a huge amount of aroace characters out there and acting like someone isn't can be annoying for ppl who want to find rep around their identity, esp if they haven't seen much before (I can relate and he was one of the first aroace characters I was introduced to after I found out what it meant).

So yeah, that's my piece.

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passionartx · 11 months

Note

Hi!! Firstly, I LOVE your Tangled AU, so glad to see Tails getting more focus in AU’s. I wondering: Do you have any general Tails related headcannons?

Hiya! 💛✨ Thank you so, so much! And ooo this is such a fun question. Tbh, I have too many, I could write an essay! This account isn’t as popular as my au blog since I’m pretty inactive on it so probably only like 3 people will see this… but I hope those hypothetical 3 people enjoy my inevitable waffle and chaos! <3

Will also use this opportunity to hype up some friends and people who’s work I admire!!!

A few of my favourite Tails Headcannons! :

- I love the idea that him and Sonic were 4 and 11 when they first met.

- Sonic will always be Tails’ big brother first and foremost… however, as Aosth Tails put it: “You’re my mom, you’re my dad and you’re my picket fence!”. Sonic having accidentally become the closest thing Tails has to a parental figure has a hold on my heart and I love how writers like @chaoxfix and my homie @myyla-x portray this in their fics!

- After having first met (and honestly even a few years in) if Sonic ever had to leave Tails alone for a while for whatever reason, maybe to protect him from a particular battle, Tails would deal with hardcore abandonment issues. Poor lil guy would fear Sonic wouldn’t come back, that he didn’t want him around anymore (which is made 10 times worse if you headcannon he was abandoned by his parents). Lil guy wouldn’t know what to do with himself <\3

- Tails reminds Shadow of Maria. Probably my favourite Tails headcannon! Though I guess it’s more of a Shadow headcannon… am I using this as an excuse to talk about it? More likely then you’d think. But ahh, those blue eyes, yellowish fur, sweet gentle childlike wonder, love of life and learning + Ian flynn has confirmed given her upbringing Maria was prob a bit of a science kid. Ah <3 Plus that brings the idea of Sonic and Tails’ dynamic reminding him of his with Maria’s and that makes me want to cry. I actually have a WIP fic about this headcannon but it’s been a wip for like a year… hopefully one day I’ll finish it cause I’m literally obsessed with the idea and want to see it through.

^ Also extra nostalgic about this headcannon cause my friendship with @sh-0-w-1-sh literally started cause they were looking for art ideas and I was like TAILS REMINDING SHADOW OF MARIA!!! And here we are almost a year later!

- For better or for worse he’s picked up a lot of his big bros traits. I’m talking puns, poses, that lil nose rub and foot tapping, occasional cockiness, being self sacrificial, the list goes on. Once he realises this or anyone else especially Sonic points it out, he’d probably be super embarrassed and deny it <3

Speaking of picking up habits…

- While he would definitely be scared by certain situations like this ( << the Starline issue 35 and 36 situation being a good example with other people being at risk and him not really understanding the situation or his role in it ) I think Tails would be pretty desensitised to being kidnapped or hostage situations at this point. He’d probably just find it an inconvenience more then anything or be entertained by the hypothetical villains incompetence. Me and @myyla-x had a conversation about this idea once and… it’s been like 6 months and we’re still talking about it. One day that’ll make sense. We got a lil carried away. Just a lil. Anyway someone get this kid therapy. <3

- An already pretty popular one but I felt the need to mention it cause I relate, but he gets so sucked into projects and his inventions that hours and hours can go by and he just zones out and forgot to eat… well, anything but mints at least.

- Tails is a theatre kid. :D Is this self projection? … maybe. If nobody else gets me @guiltypandas gets me <3 :,)

- I think Tails would be in denial if Sonic died. As smart and logical as that little guy is, given how Sonic has beat the unbeatable, has come back before and seems invisible… yeah. <\3 I think he’d always hold onto the hope that it would only be a matter of time until Sonic comes back… even if this time that wouldn’t be the case… my friend @whitecatindisguise actually wrote an amazing fic about this when we talked about the idea called He’s (Not) Coming Back (which if you haven’t already you should totally check out cause it’s amazing! And a heart breaking! The best kinda fic :,) )

- I think Tails has a heart of gold…but I also think depending on certain circumstances if he hadn’t have met Sonic he could have gone down a much darker path (which I guess ended up being somewhat proven with Nine in Sonic Prime!). Me and @casperangel have screamed about this too many times then I can count and it haunts me.

- Tails is a sweetie, a cutey patooty, like an adorable little house cat… but similarly (and yet again as proven thanks to Prime!) Tails definitely has a feral side. Especially if he hasn’t gotten enough sleep or gets his mints confiscated. @dunkinbublin and @studioboner ‘s accounts are absolute goldmines when it comes to Tails multitasking being an adorable lil guy and a feral lil menace!

- Tails and Tangle have sibling energy! I mean, Tails is basically everyone’s adopted little brother, Knuckles and Amy especially, but I think him and Tangles dynamic isn’t talked about enough and I’m super glad we’ve had some sweet moments with them in the comics! @pocketscribbs is feeding the Tails and Tangle nation fr <3

This was super fun! Thank you so much again for asking and I hope you have an amazing day! And if someone actually read all of this… you’re a trooper :,) <3

#miles tails prower #sonic the hedgehog #this was too much fun #i have like 1 million more too Ahh #literally nobody is going to read all this but I had fun <3 #tails is everybody’s little brother #they are siblings your honour #sth #sonic #tails the fox #knuckles the echidna #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #tangle the lemur #sonic and tails #sonic headcanons #i still don’t know how to tag things what am I doing

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trackingblanket2024 · 4 months

Text

Let's Track Shit With Yarn Together!

Why

I learned to crochet in November 2023 watching youtube tutorials, making a pair of uneven and godawful socks, and from there, i went forward full speed ahead and decided to make a weather blanket for 2024. The thing with weather blankets is that it's a year-long project, and to stay motivated, it is suggested you gather your yarn loving friends and support each other.

Well I don't know anyone who knits/crochet but dammit i live on tumblr and for sure at least one of yall does. Statistically. And, statistically, there's probably a few of yous in the same boat as I. So let's do this thing together in 2024!

Okay, but like. What is it?

A tracking project can be many things. I'm making a weather blanket using crochet: each row is 1 day of the year, and the color of the yarn is the temperature it was that day.

It does have to be temperature; you can track the amount of words you, or your friend gas written that day, or price of gas if you like that, it can be "yes/no" things, such as "did i succeed in [not drinking alcohol/going to the gym/taking my pills/writing/painting/going outside] today". You don't even need to make a blanket; it can be a scarf. It can be patchwork or embroidery. Whatever boats your float. The important thing is that you're tracking.

I gotta do this every day?!

Yes and no. Tracking what you want to track will need to be at least written down somewhere everyday, but a lot of people choose 1 day a week to do a few rows, or 1 day per month. You can do it everyday and catch up the next day if you missed one; up to you. Go your speed. The important thing here is to have fun, and support each other.

Okay but the year has already started and i planned nothing!!!

You can definitely do a March-to-March blanket or check up what happened during the days you missed and catch up once you're ready to start; no problem. Welcome to the project!

Sounds great, but idk how to knit/crochet/other

Well, like i said, i learned crocheting from youtube 3 months before i started on this. 100% if you start learning on a reacking blanket; by the end of the year you'll not only have a blanket/scarf, but you'll be able to see your progress in skill, on top of whatever it is you're tracking. Join us, it's free (minus the equipment), and if you don't like it, well, you tried it. No judgement.

I'll be following the "tracking blanket 2024" hashtag; if you want to join i suggest we all use that to easily find each other and I'll be reblogging the ones i see (and hopefully not miss anyone.)

Can't wait to see your projects!!!

#tracking blanket 2024 #weather blanket 2024 #knitting #crochet #yarn #arts and crafts

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sawyerconfort · 11 months

Note

hello!! I was wondering if u could do a Madison Montgomery x fem!reader with prompts 45 and 47? Basically Madison is jealous that reader has been spending a lot of time with Zoe and it really hurts Madison because she’s never been in a secure relationship before.

MADISON!!!!!

Well, let's do it then!

By the way, this is a good example of a request to say that it's okay if the dialogue you requested for has already been released here. I don't mind writing repeated plots, I find it even more fun to show the divergences from one character to another.

So feel free to ask.

You can check out my list of prompts here!

Enjoy!

----------------------------------

45. "who's jealous?" 47. you're so jealous." | madison montgomery x reader

Madison was about to collapse. You were much more aware of the words and beauty of the new girl, Zoe Benson, than you were of her. Basically, Madison knew she had a crush on you the first time she was at the Academy, but it's not like she could handle that information properly.

It wasn't like her, being in love with someone for real, cultivating feelings and projecting her ideals for the future. She was always a bad girl, a preppy, lonely girl who didn't need anyone. Then you just showed up, both feet in the door, and ended it all.

And now, all you had eyes for was Zoe Benson.

She hadn't expected to have to bring this up so soon with anyone, not even Cordelia, who was the headmistress and had too kind a heart to understand her girls. But when you walked into the room you shared with a grin from ear to ear, Madison let out a huff of air.

"What is it?" you asked, frowning. "What bug bit you this time?"

"It's nothing," she assured, in a deep voice. "And you, what are you doing here at this hour? I thought you were still holed up in the room with Zoe."

You looked at her and cocked your head to the side in confusion.

"Does that bother you?"

"No. Why should I care? It's your life, isn't it? Why should I care about something you do when I have nothing to do with it? What nonsense!"

You had to contain your crooked smile.

"Zoe's with Kyle," you explained. "They're going to be together all night now and I don't feel like hearing moaning across the room."

Madison nodded, lifting her small mirror to apply red lipstick to her lips, clearly ignoring you. You were still smiling, looking at her in disbelief, when it dawned on you and things became clear.

"Damn, you're so jealous…", you told her, laughing. "Damn it, Madison, I can't believe it! Are you jealous of me?"

"Who's jealous?", she asked, in the most uninformed tone possible, showing off her good acting. Or almost good. "Are you crazy, (Y\N)?"

You shrugged. "I'm pretty sure not. You're jealous of me because I'm spending more time with Zoe than you and apparently there's something about it that makes you cross, isn't it?"

Madison turned to you, lipstick halfway across her mouth, paler than if she'd powdered her face.

"You're totally out of your mind," she rolled her eyes.

"No gaslighting, please…", you laughed and sat down behind her, leaning your back against her back so as not to disturb her. "You can admit that you're jealous of me, okay? It doesn't make you any less strong, in fact, it makes you even cuter, if that's possible. And what's more, you know we're best friends and that, if there's anything else going on between us, I would never leave you for someone else, Madison. I've told you that many times, haven't I?"

She looked shocked.

"That's it. You're scared to admit that you love me and that you felt jealous because there was never someone who took it easy, or there was someone who let you be free to be and do whatever you want. That's it."

Madison was still looking at you, now from the corner, from the distance you were, when you simply turned and gave her a peck on the lips, catching her by surprise.

"That's enough being a queen bee with me, okay? It doesn't work anymore," you whispered as you walked away. "And you know what? You're so much prettier than Zoe Benson. Does that make you happier?"

Madison saw you get out of bed and saw you leave the room, but she was so caught up in her thoughts that she just didn't even notice you were away and said, out loud:

"You mean you have feelings for me too?"

You chuckled down the hall and used your powers to conjure a pen and paper. You wrote: "Why? Do you have feelings for me?" and threw it to the door, simply. "Cute!" she heard you yell, even louder, as you walked out of the hallway, and she rolled her eyes.

This was sure to be a topic for weeks to come...

#lgbt #romance #imagine #oneshot #fluff #ahs #american horror story #ahs x reader #madison montgomery x reader #madison montgomery #emma roberts #emma roberts x reader #this is too short sorry anon #but it's cute anyway #just like your request #please send me more requests

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thehighladywrites · 4 months

Note

your response to that anon was shockingly harsh when they said it was triggering for them. They’re incorrect but the way you respond…. Idk I’ve seen blogs like yours and it seems all you care about is gaining followers/notes. Feel like you sent the messages yourself for attention idk

I understand it might seem harsh, i sympathize and apologize that the person went through something horrible but i also want to highlight that this is the internet where people can block, scroll, remove and restrict, i’m not responsible for knowing everyones triggers. And i’m certainly not here to coddle anyone. It’s a personal responsibility to go to a blog, where I have a whole post about the things I write and who I write for. There are so many different ways to avoid things that are triggering, and i’m not blaming the person for feeling triggered. I’m saying don’t read it at all if you know it’s a triggering post. If they already know I write for Eris, why not block me the first time? Why come back and scroll through my page again?

Here’s a tip: you can go into your settings, click on restricted and then type in anything eris related, then you never have to worry about seeing anything eris related again

Do you know how far you have to scroll down my page to reach Eris x reader fics? And this is my blog I can write whatever I want, it’s really not that deep. Also what the fuck??? I’m writing because I love to write not because i wanna gain followers or notes. I’ve been writing and making little drabbles even before i had a blog so let’s not assume things. And do you you know you much of a loser you gotta be in order to make a whole new account, search yourself up and send hate? You might be projecting anon bc it has never crossed my mind 🤷🏽‍♀️

My inbox is literally full now and it really pisses me off just block me instead of wasting time and sending in an ask.

#talkswithamara

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steddieas-shegoes · 5 months

Text

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

I got tagged by @thefreakandthehair, who is a hero in this fandom and a lovely friend 💖

Words and Fics

663,182 words on ao3 so far (holiday drabbles still to be added for the rest of this month, plus a birthday fic for @t-boyeddie and a server holiday fic)

212 works published on ao3, many more short drabbles on here

4 multi-chapter fics completed (one that turned into a series!)

1 multi-chapter fic in progress (i know, I KNOW, i'm gonna be working on that next!)

Top 10 Fics by Kudos

call me sunshine, send me to space

one little nugget

i thought we were more, why aren't we more?

it led me to you

it brought us here

my turn to save you

if you lose your sight, if you lose your voice, we'll still be here

we got him, always

your tattoo around my neck, yours on my heart

so much skin

My fandom fic events in 2023

@steddiemicrofic - co-mod with @wynnyfryd, plus i write for it more than i really have time for but those can be found here

@steddieholidaydrabbles - mod and i've written for every day of the challenge!

Discord Server gift exchange that has to be a secret until the 31st!

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

@steddiesongfics - mod for this monthly challenge starting january that i'm SO excited to work on!

@steddiebang if it happens again! i already have my fic planned, so we'll see if i am patient enough for the bang or if i just do it

continuing the camboy steve series after a lot of people begged for more and then @wormdebut said i had to

More chaptered fics! I have at least three more with a rough outline to work on after i finish the one i'm currently writing

Opening the inbox for requests! I don't have definite dates for this yet, but I'm thinking next summer (May-June) I will open up my inbox for requests again and then work on them as time permits between other projects

A stranger things OC week inspired and encouraged by @steves-strapcollection and the STuad (more info to come sometime in January!)

Rules & Tags below the cut!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Pretty sure most people have done this by now but no pressure tags: @wormdebut @wynnyfryd @messessentialist @scarcrossdlvrs @t-boyeddie @flowercrowngods @vecnuthy @sidekick-hero @legitcookie @griefabyss69 @just-my-latest-hyperfixation and anyone else who wants to share their AO3 wrapped 😂

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #tag game #fics #ao3

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catt-nuevenor · 6 months

Note

I have to be completely honest, I haven't decided how I feel about the changes yet. I do not think I can say I feel good or bad about them until I actually play and experience the game with said changes included. The problem is that your IF was one of the first IFs I ever came across after discovering twc (twc was what introduced me to and made me love IFs). So naturally, I feel somewhat protective (if that makes any sense?) about this amazing story you have created even though I know I have no claim over it whatsoever. I just love it so much and I have played it so many times, and it is what made me try even more IFs. It is one of my absolute favourite IFs!

Having said that, I can't wait to play your new game! If I don't like the new changes, first of all there will be absolutely no hate coming from me, I will just stop playing it and let the people who like it enjoy it to the fullest! (and I really hope the same goes for anyone who might not like the new game because you surely do NOT deserve any kind of hate over doing whatever you want with your piece of art-and yes it is art!-).

But whether I like the new game or not, I will continue to support both you and your work! If not through your IF, then through your book, patreon, and other future projects! 😊

First off, thank you, both for your thoughts and long term support of my writing. It means so much to have others this invested in my work.

However, I am starting to get the impression folks might have got something of the wrong end of the proverbial stick here. Yes, there will be big changes to the Myrk Mire story, most of which will be plot beyond the public consumption point that was never released.

The line, "Are you staking a claim?" has no reason to be cut from the story. Heck, I'm going to recycle as much as I can from what already exists. Workaholic I might be, but I'm not so far gone as to use nothing from the previous iteration. A lot of the language, setting, and characters present will change, but I'm not going to throw out those little moments that have proven so popular.

Please take this as reassurance, not reproach.

Perhaps it is right to call the new iteration a new game, but it won't be in the truest sense, it will be a polish up, a refining, a shoring of foundations to create a stronger structure for what's to come in the future.

Finally, and thankfully, this little community built around Myrk Mire has been hate free so far, even folks who've sent me messages about unfollowing the project from here on out. Long may that continue.

I do not respond to hate messages. We do not feed the worst parts of the internet with the attention or time it craves.

---

So readers coming along later to this discussion know what we're all talking about, here are links to the posts that started it all off:

Changes to the Main Character - Myrk Mire

Location Change

#myrkmire #asks

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plethomacademia · 7 months

Text

Edit: this is now in chapter five of my slow burn

Original post: Well here's a ridiculously horny thing I just wrote for my fic. It's of course for the chapter that is after the one I am supposed to be writing and is part of a series of drabbles but I want to share it now because I think it stands on its own.

Synopsis: The Dark Urge wants to try out Enver's gauntlet. Enver discovers a new kink. 644 words. Rest of the story is my pinned post!

Triggers: blood, light choking, people who just need to fucking kiss already.

----

“Can I ask you something?”

Gortash looked up from the map of the city he had just been drawing on. He and the Bloody Hand of Bhaal were in the middle of discussing a proposal he had just received from another weapons trader. She, obviously, was not paying attention. “Maeve, when have you ever not just asked me whatever is on your mind?”

She ignored the barb. “Your gauntlet. How does it work?”

He looked down at the golden gauntlets. He had just come from another meeting and was in his full regalia. This pair was new, better fitting his station as a lord than his old black set had. He had shucked off his coat when they had started working and he did suppose this was a novel view for her, his arms covered in gold up to the elbow. “Well, it’s jointed to mimic the human anatomy. Quite intricate and honestly, it was hard to get the design right. You latch it higher up the elbow, like so.” He showed her how it disconnected near his right elbow using his two clawless fingers on his left.

She watched, her head tilted. He had seen that look so many times as she dissected something with her mind. “Do you think I could try it?”

Anyone else he would deny, but he did love seeing her curiosity piqued by something. He finished undoing the latches, then took it off and held it out to her. “By all means. It will be too large but you can get an idea of the mechanics.”

She took the gauntlet from his hands gently. After she struggled with the moving pieces of metal, he helped slide it onto her arm. He was right, the latches were far too wide to stay up on their own, but she was able to keep it secure enough to flex her fingers. She spread them wide, then tightened them into a fist.

Enver swallowed. Well this wasn’t how he had expected the day to go.

Maeve tested the sharp claws against the inside of her other forearm, pushing them in enough to dent the skin.

“Careful!” he said right when she looked up, her eyes wide.

“Oh Enver, this is positively wicked.” She held it up in front of her face, spreading the hand and looking at it as if her fingers were covered it jewels. “Would it work to…” She trailed off, cocking her head at it as if figuring something out.

“Would what —“ he began to say, but he stopped as she closed her eyes, putting her golden hand to her throat. He watched as she settled her fingers around her own larynx, first gently feeling out how to place her thumb and fingers. Then she began to press. The sharp tips of the gauntlet first pressed in her skin, then a couple fingers just pierced through, letting a bit of blood well up under the curves of metal.

“Maeve,” he said in a warning tone.

Her eyes flew open. They were wide and feral, her smile broad and sharp. She dropped her hand and he couldn’t help but look at the red crescents framing her throat, the little bits of blood beginning to drip.

“I see why you wear those, that has to be terribly fun. Just ripping out a person’s throat.” She laid her arm on the table, undoing the latched and sliding her hand free.

Enver cleared his throat. “Yes. Well. Sadly for you,” he said as he picked up the gauntlet, “it’s much more of a Banite custom than one of Bhaal.” After he had secured the gauntlet to his arm once more, he reached in his pocket for a handkerchief and offered it to her

She dabbed her wounds, then looked back at the maps. “Yes, it’s too bad. Now, what was it you were saying?”

#dark urge #dark urge x gortash #durgetash #bg3 spoilers #lord enver gortash #bg3 #is it a new kink though #you know that man has choked someone before

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ask-vladimir-makarov · 3 months

Text

This blog is going on hiatus until further notice.

This will be a long post. Please read it anyway.

I've gone back and forth on this for a while now. I've been dealing with health problems and real life responsibilities that make it difficult to keep up with my regular posting, let alone with projects like this, which is why I haven't posted in so long. However, in the end, I decided I don't want to anymore.

I like Vladimir Makarov, as a character. I’ve been drawn to him since high school. He’s an interesting character to pick apart and analyze, both in the context of his fictional world and the larger meta context of his place in the narrative and how he’s received by his audience, especially in the realm of fandom.

However, he's also a character who has canonically committed genocide against the Chechen people during the First Chechen War. He is a character who, during his operations as a terrorist, profits from genocide in the Global South, particularly on the continent of Africa. And his reboot incarnation is no better, having taken part in Barkov’s occupation of Urzikstan and seeking to reoccupy it—timeline discrepancies aside, this is the character Infinity Ward and Sledgehammer wrote. And it’s for a reason.

I can sit here and talk about the nuances of fiction and reality and what it means to like a fictional character all day. However, I cannot and will not run a fan blog for a fictional genocider when my country, the United States, is funding, conducting, and aiding and abetting in multiple genocides across the world. I cannot draw Makarov cheekily answering asks about his love life and personal tastes while people suffer in Palestine, in Sudan, in Congo and elsewhere. I cannot contribute to a fandom environment where colonialism, oppression, and genocide are glossed over, whether fictional or real.

I implore everyone who follows this blog, or who reads this post, to do something within your ability if you aren't already. Attend a protest, participate in strikes like the one currently underway, and contact your representatives and implore them to denounce genocide and apartheid. Boycott companies on the BDS list and give your financial support to those who need it, whether that means donating to trustworthy organizations, purchasing e-sims for people on the ground in Gaza, or donating directly to those in need. Buy your electronics used and refurbished, not new. Create art—draw, write, make music, whatever it is you do—in solidarity for the peoples affected by colonialism, apartheid, and genocide. If you use social media frequently, follow those affected by these conflicts, pay attention to the news they share. Take the time to put the present into context and educate yourselves on the history of these conflicts and the systems at play. Encourage others to do the same.

Here is a very small list of resources on Palestine, Sudan, and the DRC to get you started. I may add more links in the near future, but keep in mind this is no way meant to be exhaustive; it is imperative that y’all take the time to inform and investigate yourselves. I nor anyone else can spoon-feed the facts. I've linked directly to donation pages for some, but I encourage y'all to dig through their sites to learn more and find more resources.

🇵🇸 Eye on Palestine + Taawon Association + Palestinian Children's Relief Fund 🇵🇸

🇸🇩 NasAlSudan: The Sudanese Revolution + What is Happening in Sudan? 🇸🇩

🇸🇩 Darfur Women Action Group 🇸🇩

🇨🇩 Friends of the Congo + their Resource Center 🇨🇩

>> kandakat_alhaqq on Twitter also has an extensive linktree of resources on many countries and groups in need of aid, including Sudan and South Sudan, Palestine, Somalia, Congo, Libya, Afghanistan, Yemen, Syria, Morocco, and the Uyghur people Some of the links I've already listed here.

>> Genocide Watch tracks genocide around the world. They have a list of reports by region and many resources on educating oneself about genocide, including a breakdown of the Ten Stages of Genocide.

Finally, as fans of Call of Duty, it’s important to acknowledge and reckon with the fact that these games are military propaganda. I’ve seen this refrain passed around the fandom time and time again, but very rarely do I see it actively engaged with; most often it’s used as a way of dismissing the game’s narratives in favor of doing whatever one wants with the characters. And as someone who’s made it My Thing to do whatever I want with the characters while also staying cognizant of the themes of the stories these characters come from, I’m going to challenge y’all to do the same.

Engage with the propaganda.

Take the time to analyze and deconstruct the games and their themes and pay attention to what viewpoints they’re encouraging. Pay attention to who you, the player, will have your guns pointed at most often, and why.

(Also, please please PLEASE watch Jacob Geller's excellent video, "Does Call of Duty Believe in Anything?")

And for those of us who like Makarov the character, take the time to educate yourselves on the very real things this fictional character was involved in, whether in the context of the original trilogy or the ongoing reboot. Put the present into context. Consider the role this character plays in the narrative, and why.

Do these things privately and publicly. Post about it alongside whatever else you share in fandom, whether that's art, fanfic, headcanons or meta analysis. Discuss it with your fellow fans.

I may one day come back to this blog, or I may not. Please do not hold your breath either way—this blog was a short and fun thing while it lasted, but to me, paying attention to the real world and treating these games with the gravity and depth they require is a more important use of my time. None of us are free until all of us are.

Thank you to the kind people who've followed this blog and sent asks, and thank you for reading this post all the way through.

I’ll see y’all downrange.

#vladimir makarov #call of duty #I feel like this is worth putting in the tags considering. everything.

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