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liketrianglehead-butspaghetti · 3 months

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i gotta talk about FourDogs

I really do. 'Cause I posted a lil' passive-aggressive hot take a few days ago, but this is Tumblr not TikTok. Here we can have our 60-second hot takes and eat our long essays too. Kipperlilly Copperkettle was introduced as a rival in episode 3, after which there were a number of posts criticizing The Bad Kids' response to her, labeling it disproportionately mean at best and bullying at worst. I think that's an unfair reading of that interaction and I'm gonna talk about why.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that it's parasocial as fuck over here and The Bad Kids are my personal best friends actually, so where necessary I'll do my best to separate the ((loyalist ride-or-die-bad-boys-for-lyfe emotional reactions)) from the actual points I'm trying to make.

((That being said, the fuck was FourDogs talking about? Y'know? Like what was she on about, for real?))

Here's what's true: over the course of their time at Aguefort, three adults directly related to The Bad Kids - Jawbone, Gorthalax, and Gilear - have been instated as faculty or staff. And if I'm a third-party, especially another student, then for sure. It's giving nepotism, it's giving cronyism, and I'm drinking my Haterade about it every morning. But favoritism is about treatment. It's about actions, rewards, benefits - and ma'am, if you're gonna levy a charge like that, I'm afraid you're gonna need receipts!

What actual benefits have The Bad Kids received from the school that is not available to other students? In freshman and sophomore year, The Bad Kids get detention like anybody else, they don't make it on the Bloodrush team, Gorgug in particular was always not doing great in Barbarian class, they take their midterms, they have to complete the big 60%-of-the-grade spring break project, etc. And now this year, Fig is getting punished for not going to class, Kristen is getting consequences specific to being a kid with ADHD who doesn't live at home anymore, Gorgug's still getting the literal opposite of favoritism from Porter, and Riz, Adaine, and Fabian are all getting the treatment from professors that is proportional for historically successful students in good academic standing.

((And someone else brought this up but, re:that 60%-of-the-grade project, miss ma'am, what were you doing in the Far Haven Woods?? In addition to saving the world again, The Bad Kids endured borderline psychological torture for their final grade, while the Buttcrushers got to step on bugs in the neutral zone??? But they're the privileged ones, no, for sure))

Whether or not saving the world is as big a deal in-universe as it would be in our real world is up for debate. Brennan said it was an outstanding feat in the scope of student adventuring at Aguefort to consistently complete Class B and C quests, but then, when TBK comes back from Hot Yorb Summer everyone acts like they went on a class trip to Six Flags. Either way, unearned success is the wiiiiiildest claim to lay at the feet of consistent world-savers.

Freshmen year it was the Helioic Fundamentalist Apocalypse and the Emperor of the Red Wastes. Sophomore year it was the Nightmare King and the Night Yorb. They've saved the whole school, they've saved specific students at the school. They My Little Pony-ed Ragh, one of the biggest actual bullies Aguefort had, and then Fabian killed toxic masculinity! Even if the favoritism was in the room with us, would it not be the natural result of all this hero shit??? Aguefort hasn't done The Bad Kids any favors he wouldn't do for the rest of the student body, but even if he had I'd get it because KRISTEN APPLEBEES SNUCK HIM INTO HEAVEN AND THEN BROUGHT HIS ASS BACK TO LIFE.

Again, maybe not remarkable in a world where Revivify is just a thing you can learn, but y'know! Shit!! Diamonds aren't free!!

Also FourDogs' whole tone of disdain for the "eccentricity" of Arthur Aguefort's administrative decisions truly boggles the mind, because we found out in freshmen year that he has some kind of mass Power Word over the government of Solace that allows the students of his school to do crimes, AND in sophomore year he has that auto-call-ex-machina that students can evoke when they're in danger overseas. His "eccentricity" is the reason the school can function at all, put some respect on man's name.

Now, let's get word-perfect.

That's the American Psychological Association.

And that's StopBullying.gov, which is managed by the Department of Health and Human Services.

Here's what's true. At moment 00:00 of their relationship, Kristen said something pretty freakin' mean to Kipperlilly for an audience of her friends with like, no provocation.

Kipperlily then revealed that she has based her entire campaign around addressing the perceived privilege that "some students" have under Arthur Aguefort's rules. And THEN, Jawbone revealed that Kipperlilly had been snooping around asking questions about Kristen's relationships with her god and trying to get general dirt on The Bad Kids. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE, in the preview for episode 6, we get Murph's line of "Kipperlilly's team is trying to get us kicked out of school".

Does that excuse the thing Kristen said ((yes it was hilarious)), no. Not at all. She didn't know that stuff, Kipperlilly just failed a vibe check. In the moment though, that's all it was. The Bad Kids met someone they didn't like and perceived as a threat, and Kipperlilly had something mean said to her by people she already didn't like and already wants to see brought down. While she was not threatening them in that moment, Kipperlilly is a threat. She's not a victim, she is an equal with opposing goals. And now that Ruben has the song of the summer, The Buttcrushers are probably just as popular as The Bad Kids. There is no greater imbalance, they're just adversaries.

Ultimately, Kipperlilly's got them fucked up. But she's a kid. Kids are allowed to get shit fucked up and misdirect their anger at systemic unfairness. TBK are also kids and well within their rights to feel what they felt when Four Dogs walked up with self-righteous vibes and started yappin about academic privilege in what is already the most academically stressful year of their lives.

As the audience, we not only know all the shit TBK has gone through that Kipperlilly does not, we also are aware of how Brennan is introducing her in the story. As soon as he brings her into the scene, you know what's up. The voice he gives her, the tone, the actual things he's saying - if you watch everyone's face after the line about favoritism gets dropped it's the culmination of the whole interaction. Oh, she's our enemy, like our specific enemy and her team is coming for us, specifically.

So what do we gain from ignoring all that? From ignoring the JUICE of this rivalry and flattening it into "the bad kids were mean :/". I actually love Kipperlilly, the rivalry is giving and I love feeling big emotions and getting to use angry, feral, fandom language. FourDogs, can't wait to see you next week, and I can't wait to read the 40k word, FourDogsxKristen, enemies-to-lovers fics. And y'know, shout out to all the people who kin her because she found the rogue teacher, it's pretty goated, I won't lie.

But also. Bad Kids Supremacy. Buttcrushers, stay mad.

#d20 #dimension 20 #kipperlilly copperkettle #four dogs #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #in this essay i will #free my kids they did nothing wrong #i support bad kids rights #i support bad kids wrongs #fantasy high junior year

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rebouks · 1 year

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Hello! Do you have any suggestion for someone who wants to start storytelling on simblr? Thank you <3

Hiii nonny! I'm a lil honoured you'd ask me this ngl 😳 Have some rambling advice ❤ (using the word advice lightly here - please believe me when I say I'm winging it)

General writing advice:

DO THE THING! Seriously, just start!

Tell your story because you enjoy it. If you're not enjoying it, think about why n' switch it up.

Try and avoid comparing yourself to others. Easier said than done, but it'll only lead to self doubt and demotivation, so quit it!

Personally, I'm not a planner.. but it can be useful to have something set out to begin with, even if it's as simple as an idea or a basic beginning/middle/end kinda deal.

Any writing advice you come across out there is simply that, advice. Take it with a grain of salt and just do you.

Give your characters depth. No one's perfect, and we're certainly not black and white. We all make questionable decisions sometimes, but we're not defined by singular actions. A villain and a hero are equally boring without a decent backstory. Maybe it's not your thing, or it's boring.. but digging into psychology can really help with this one. I kinda find it interesting anyway ¯\(°_o)/¯

Regarding the above and backstories, don't bore everyone by spelling it out at the beginning.. we probably don't need to know. Drip feed us it bit by bit so we can figure out the why and the how behind every character slowly, it's way more interesting and engaging. No one needs to know all the facts from the get go.

Think about the why behind everything. Say someone steals some money, why did they do it? Did they have no choice? Was it to feed their family, or their drug habit? How does that make them feel? Were they bullied or forced into doing it? Did they do it for the thrill, if so.. why do they need that rush? So and so hates the snow, why? Do they just prefer warm weather? Does it make it harder for them to do what they enjoy? A bad experience? Why why why, all the time!

This one's gonna sound a bit weird, but bare with me here. Try and think in terms of but and consequently, instead of and then. For example.. X happens, consequently Y happens. Or your character was gonna do X but Y happened so consequently they've gotta do Z instead. It makes for a more interesting set up rather than a bunch of scenes with little correlation. A happens and then B and then C etc etc.. boring! Consequences have actions!

Similarly to the above, don't rush! Sometimes X and Y have to happen before we get to Z. Take romance for example, we all love a good slow burn. Those big pay off scenes are worth a little patience.

If you're having trouble piecing things together, try and keep the above two points in mind. If you need to get to Z but don't know how, just think about what has to happen before you can get there.. aka X/Y. I do this one all the time because I don't plan much.. so I'll get an idea but I'll have to piece together a bunch of other shit happening in the background first before it makes sense to end up there, y'know?

Split your story up into chapters/arcs, especially if it's a big 'un! It'll make it easier to plan/manage.

Don't worry about plot holes too much. Planning can help you avoid 'em but meh, you can always figure out a way to explain or cover 'em up later.

General Tumblr advice:

Okay, so first things first (I know, I know.. it's been said a million times and it's bleh but) you've gotta do it for you. Make a story YOU want to tell in YOUR way. Screenies and dialogue, sure! No dialogue? Sure! A few screenies and a bunch of prose underneath, sure! Comic/manga style? SURE! Do whatever you want, it's your hobby. It's SO important that you're enjoying yourself, whatever you decide to do.

DO THE THING! (again ahaa) Try not to hesitate or worry about what people may or may not think. I know it's hard putting your shit out there and you might be insecure, but take the leap! It'll be worth it.

If you want engagement (ew - I hate this word lmaoo but this is social media after all) you've gotta give what you take. Other people enjoy you interacting with their stories and characters just as much as you do.

Notes matter.. we wouldn't be putting our shit out here if they didn't, but try not too get to hung up on them, especially not at first. You might be shouting into the void for a while; it can take time for people to find your stuff (that's where the above comes in ⚆_⚆) Also take quality over quantity, it's always nice to have a few avid readers/commenters/mutuals.. and they will come!

Have fun and be awesome!

#ranswers #whew that turned into an essay LOL #writing advice #?#I GUESS #ahaha #pls.. we're winging it here believe me

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mesillusionssousecstasy · 14 days

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The Gentlemen : Quotes

"- Your inheritance has made you a very wealthy man, but that doesn't mean to say that you're rich. You're asset rich, cash poor. There has been a slightly unconventional approach from a lawyer based in London. His client has expressed an interest in purchasing Halstead Manor. (The lawyer) - When someone dies, the vultures start circling." (Eddie - Episode 1)

"- Yes, and the sooner you get rid of them, the better." (Lady Sabrina - Episode 4) - I just need to figure out a way of making them more money with a little less fuss. (Eddie - Episode 4) - Now, come one. Nothing like a good funeral to put things in perspective." (Lady Sabrina - Episode 4)

"- Behind the air of pomposity, there's a man you don't wanna fuck with. (Eddie) - Speak for yourself, Eddie." (Freddy - Episode 4)

"- He's rather lovely. He's your classic struggling artist. Just a little too desperate to be discovered." (Freddy - Episode 4)

"- Would you introduce me? (Eddie) - You're up to something, Eddie. (Freddy) - Never." (Eddie - Episode 4)

"- Oh, Freddy has many talents, but sticking isn't one of them." (Eddie - Episode 4)

"- It's the kind of risk-reward relationship I could get on board with. Free market, fucking great. Lack of regulation, check. No taxation? Yeah, baby. Smidge of illegality? Yeah, well, no business plan's perfect." (Max (?)- Episode 4)

"- Only thing he likes more than wine and fine dining is the sound of his own voice." (Susie - Episode 5)

"- Are you trying to blackmail us? (Susie) - Ah, well, that depends on your definition of blackmail. (JP) - Perhaps you could help us clarify your definition." (Eddie - Episode 5) "- We've all just gotta figure out what we're good at and fuck the consequences in the arse. (Freddy) - The consequences might fuck you in the arse if you do 14 years in prison." (Eddie) - Yeah, we're all in cages, brother." (Freddy - Episode 5)

"- That's the thing about running an international crime syndicate. We can get to anyone." (Susie - Episode 5)

"- You continue to deliver on your end of the bargain and see how they respond. Don't let 'em know what you're thinking. And meanwhile, prepare for all eventualities." (Geoff - Episode 6)

"- Well, you don't fuck about, do you? (Eddie) - Like you said, impulse, instinct, survival." (Henry - Episode 6)

"- I thought you burnt that bridge. You know what creative types are like. Passion runs high, but it's quickly forgotten." (Episode 6)

"- That's a very wild accusation. - Why don't you deny it, then, hmm?" (Episode 6)

"- There is nothing that I won't do to protect my family. (Eddie) - Careful there, soldier. I can be nice, and I can be not so nice. You've only seen me on one setting." (Susie - Episode 6)

"- Looking supremely fucking confident. As well you should." (Episode 6)

"- You may have a small army, but I am the state. I am the house. I am the establishment. And you are ill-equipped physically, martially, and intellectually for the fight you've mistakenly chosen to pick." (Susie - Episode 6)

"- What have you got to be sorry for? Didn't do anything, did you?" (Susie - Episode 7)

"- You're not thinking with your business brain. You're thinking with your emotional feelings. You're my angel of life, not my angel of death" (Bobby - Episode 7)

"- Violence and trickery has no place in our way of business." (Episode 7)

"- How do you intend to use their names? Mr. Johnston believes the key to a good deal is to give everyone something they want." (The secretary - Episode 7)

"- Now blood's been spilled, he's not gonna stop until he's got it. There's nothing he won't do." (Episode 7)

"- Problem is, I'm currently on the precipice of a difficult decision about which side offers the best chance of an exit... with the least possible fuss." (Eddie - Episode 7)

"- If you're gonna do it, just fucking do it. (Henry) - Oh, no. After you made my brother suffer, I think I'm entitled to take my fucking time. Make an example of you. Make sure no one ever tries to steal my business again." (Susie - Episode 7)

"- Because this is the one time I can do something selfless. The one chance I have to reclaim a shred of human dignity. The moral of the story is, you need to take the blows, accept the blame, all for the sake of the bigger picture." (Bobby - Episode 8)

"- And why me exactly? (Eddie) - It ain't gone unnoticed that you two have become a right double act working together." (Bobby - Episode 8)

"- I was under the impression it was verified. (Stanley Johnston - Episode 8) - No. You've been the victim of a deception, Mr. Johnston. (Eddie - Episode 8)

"-You see, until you've had the living shit beaten out of you, you don't know anything. But when you realize the only thing that matters is power, the whole world opens up. 'Cause it's literally there for the taking." (Jack - Episode 8)

"- However, if you want the benefit from my vast years of experience, I'd say that you're much more likely to regret the things that you didn't do rather than the things that you did." (Lady Sabrina - Episode 8)

"- It got me thinking. Nothing in life worth having comes without a little... danger." (Eddie - Episode 8)

#the gentlemen #tv show #netflix tv shows #eddie halstead #susie glass #eddie x susie #quote #the gentlemen quotes

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tobiasdrake · 29 days

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AA4-2, Investigation Day 1, is such a unique investigation day. One thing the Ace Attorney brand has always excelled at is shaking things up with introductions to its cases.

Sometimes it's simple. Someone comes to the office and goes, "Hey man there's a murder will you defend" and the attorney goes "Yeah man I got you" and then we're off to conduct our trial preparations.

But other case introductions are more... unconventional. Given the circumstances, 4-2 has no choice but to be an oddball.

The Wright & Co. Law Offices don't exist anymore and, having just successfully sent his boss to prison for murder, Apollo is obviously fucking fired from Gavin & Co. So. Even though Apollo is licensed to practice law, there is no law office for a prospective client to walk into.

Which means we gotta get creative with three odd jobs in place of a typical crime investigation.

Three seemingly unrelated requests that all seem more like police work than attorney business. This sure is a weird way to introduce the second chapter of a lawyer game. The first time I played this, I was very confused and spent much of the chapter wondering when the lawyering was going to kick in. Much like how Apollo feels.

This chapter's introduction is very off-putting. Intentionally so, but I do wonder if the extremely unconventional nature of this setup is part of what alienated the player base.

Guy Eldoon, incidentally, is a pretty significant piece of Ace Attorney lore that doesn't quite come across in the American version. In the original Japanese, Maya's "burger" obsession was an obsession with "ramen". They localized it into burgers to try and make the game American back in AA1.

The series has been paying the price for the decision to localize ever since, as it's had to wind itself increasingly in knots to try and explain away how aggressively Japanese many parts of it are. One of the consequences of that decision is that Guy Eldoon loses his punch.

The reason Eldoon's Noodles is such a big deal is because this is the noodle vendor that Maya was getting all that ramen from. Her burger supplier, if you will. This man's family legacy of noodle stands is a critical piece of Ace Attorney lore, but he and his stand are also so obviously noodle-designed that it'd be impossible to try and call it a burger grill. So the bit just. Broke.

Without that vital piece of context, funny jokes like this simply don't land.

HA! It's funny because Maya is fucking obsessed with burgers ramen so of course Phoenix had a tab back in his attorney days!

Meanwhile, not to be left out, Trucy's here with the references to the good ol' days as well.

She is absolutely Phoenix's kid. She's absorbed his talent at being pedantic incorrectly on the topic of ladders.

In any case, these three seemingly unrelated events are fairly trivial to solve, but they begin to weave together the complicated tale of a bizarre and inscrutable crime spree last night that sees even the local yakuza family hit.

What makes this investigation really interesting from a creative standpoint is that all of these seemingly unrelated errands come together in the end to paint a picture of a single crime.

But. What makes it frustrating from a player standpoint is that until you become aware of that, it just feels like you're running around doing pointless errands. Ultimately, I like the idea of this case introduction more than its execution.

It ultimately becomes a huge relief when an actual client finally makes themselves known. Courtesy of Trucy having shrewd yet amoral business sense.

Trucy do not sell our services to the yakuza thank you

Too late. We're mob lawyers now. Now we get to defend this dipshit.

I particularly love Bad Badger there on his shirt. This wannabe gangster is running around wearing a cartoon mascot of a stereotypical Crime Dude as depicted in police propaganda. That's like self-identifying as the archnemesis of McGruff the Crime Dog.

I genuinely can't decide if he's trying too hard or just the right amount of hard. It's such a perfect combination of gangster edge and childish dipshit. I love his shirt so much.

In any case, once the hurdle of the opening errands is cleared, we pick up our two new additions to the game's principle cast. First being our rival prosecutor Klavier Gavin.

Gavin's intro is a little gross, gotta say. I like Gavin's role in the plot, but they're going for this suave rockstar aesthetic. He's both the "rockstar" of the court who vanquished legendary attorney Phoenix Wright seven years ago and literally a rockstar.

To that end, we see him (24) flirt with Apollo (22)...

...which is fine. But he also does it with Trucy (15).

Gross thing to call a minor, dude. Godot was a weird creep too but at least he didn't hit on underage girls. So this isn't a great first impression to the game's main plot-important rival.

Fortunately, it's quickly followed up by the triumphant return of Ema Skye, who was retconned into existence just two years before Apollo Justice's release to tease her presence in the new status quo. She immediately endears herself by being equally grossed out by Gavin.

The thing I really like about All Grow'd Up Ema is that her personality's changed from the girl we knew in Rise From the Ashes. She's still Ema where it counts.

(Hahahahaha look at it! That's it! That is the burger joint! Serving ramen, ramen, ramen, and rice ball! I bet you Maya's favorite was probably the ramen, medium grilled with tomatoes and lettuce.)

Still a determined forensic analyst at heart. But it's been nine years since last time we saw her, and she was only 16 years old when we knew her before. People change a lot between 16 and 25, so it'd be weird if she was still the same ol' Ema through and through.

Ema's here to be our new Detective Gumshoe. But the wide-eyed optimism of youth has been replaced by jaded bitterness at a career path that hasn't been so glamorous as she once imagined.

And one that has driven her to a newfound snacking habit. This is a character trait I adore. It reflects the classic stereotype of the whiskey-addicted detective worn down by life and with no more fucks to give, except her drug of choice is chocolate.

Incidentally, I had to take so many pictures of this woman eating to get that one frame where she pops the Snackoo into her mouth that now I feel like a total creep so let's move on.

Point is, Ema's new disgruntled attitude is a lot of fun, and makes for a sharp contrast against the easygoing and carefree nature of Dick Gumshoe. Though she becomes less hostile and combative with Apollo and Trucy once she learns who they are....

And though her attitude improves tremendously any chance she gets to whip out her forensic tools....

Her demeanor towards her actual job remains sour. Though we do get some explanation as to why.

With Gumshoe, the joke was always just dunking on his salary for fun. Haha, Gumshoe screwed up and now the prosecutor's angrily cutting his salary! He has to subsist on cup ramen! LOL

Which can be aggravating as a "running joke" if you know what it is to be poor.

That's not to say there wasn't more to Gumshoe's character. He was a good-natured nice guy with a tendency to miss subtle details. He liked giving his all for his "team" even though the prosecutors rarely appreciated him, but he also respected the defense and even put himself into physical danger to protect them from violence multiple times.

Gumshoe was a great character, and he will be missed.

Ema's point of friction with her job is a lot more character-driven. Because we had time to get to know her back when she was wide-eyed and optimistic, we can feel it when she expresses that this is a waste of her talents. She should be in a lab doing DNA analysis on a bloodstained knife, not picking it out of dirt and putting it in a bag for the prosecutors' office.

Ema is a welcome addition to this new cast.

With all that sorted out, there's just two characters left for the investigation day to introduce. Since we're mob lawyers now, thanks Trucy, we gotta meet the mob. We met Little Plum and her sword-concealing sweeping broom earlier. But we also need to meet the head of the yakuza with a distinctive Godfather look about him.

And our client, the ever-rebellious Wocky Kitaki desperate to make a criminal name for himself.

Though our time with them is brief, it quickly becomes apparent what our biggest conflict of this trial is going to be: Our dumbass client wants to go down for murder, because he is a child of a criminal culture who feels like he has something to prove - despite his family's efforts to convince him otherwise.

Wocky reminds me a lot of Ron DeLite. This is hardly our first time at the defense stand having to battle our own stupid client who's all too eager to confess - Something that, in actual case law, wouldn't be a thing? Like. If your client wants to plead guilty, you can't stop them. But Ace Attorney takes extreme artistic liberties with the law.

(Remember that one time when Phoenix's client fired him in the middle of a case, and for no clear reason he was allowed to remain in the courtroom and continue defending her anyway? Good times. Also, hi, Ema!)

But the difference is that Ron was a gentleman thief and Wocky's a teenage wannabe gangster, so the difference in temperament is palpable.

All in all, this investigation is... meandering. While a fun idea in theory, chasing down all these errands can easily leave the player just... waiting for the plot to start. There's a lot of busywork here, right down to Ema making you leave the crime scene to go talk to Phoenix so that you can come back and talk to Ema only this time she's cooperative.

The Kitaki family are a fun set of characters once they're introduced. Eldoon's Noodles is a significant piece of Ace Attorney lore if you're familiar enough with the non-localized version to catch it. Ema's return is a lot of fun. Trucy's charming and likable. But the connective tissue between all these things needed work, I think.

#ace attorney #ace attorney apollo justice #revisiting aa4

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charlie-rulerofhell · 10 months

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twitch

Two days back, Chris did a twitch stream in which he answered fans' questions both in English and in German. So this is yet another translation / summary of all the nice things Chris has to say. It's gonna be way shorter than the Saltatio Mortis podcast, both because I took the notes simultaneously to doing uni work, so I probably didn't catch everything that might be interesting, and because for some answers I couldn't remember in retrospective if he gave them in German or in English, and I didn't want to spam you with info that you might have already heard yourself :D

So, here we go:

when comparing their own smaller concerts with big Iron Maiden performances: "To play in a small club in England in front of 500 people that all know you, that's like going to a small family gathering with family members that you see every day anyway. To play with Iron Maiden in front of 20,000 people is like visiting a huge wedding celebration, where you might know 20 people but the other 200 you have never seen before even though you're related to them, so you first gotta introduce yourself." (just loved the analogy here :D)

about the next record: At the end of the year, a full cover album is gonna be released that will style-wise stay similar to the B&G era, and apparently the 15 years anniversary tour next year will also keep that style. After that, however, Chris said that the only logical consequence for them, after all this brightness and colour, was to go into the complete opposite direction. So the next (proper) record will be the darkest album that they have done so far (with 'dark' not necessarily meaning 'hard', so it's not gonna be Death Metal, but it will in fact keep parts of the current 80s vibe). There is some concept that is already planned out, but it's not a religious one, nor a mythological one. The theme will be rather dark-romantic, dealing with our human emotional abysses.

Someone commented: "On pictures you seem quite photogenic", to which Chris jokingly replied that this were his big secret: He's not really photogenic, but he's good at seeming that way. The question continued with asking if he had ever modelled or been asked to model, and he gave some interesting reply. In fact, Chris has been asked for various model jobs in the past, but he always refused. He said that he would generally be up for the idea, but if he does promote a product / a company with his face, he has to be able to fully stand behind it. Sometimes it might not have been the choice of clothing etc. that he would personally like, but in most cases the decision was due to the company that he could not support, for example if the clothes were produced under unethical conditions. He also mentions that he had had a request for some allergy meds recently, that he actually would have liked to do (as someone who struggles with allergies himself), but the pharma trust responsible for that product worked with animal testing, so again, he refused.

he made a joke about Klaas being so small that he would actually be standing below the camera in that moment, holding up signs with jokes for Chris to read :D

about the decision for B&G for the ESC instead of One Last Song and The Curtain Falls that were also on the shortlist: With both songs the main problem was that they wouldn't have managed to produce a qualitative music video in time. OLS was also too long, and Chris didn't feel good with any parts being cut, while TCF was still kind of in the production phase. B&G had the full package: it is catchy and recognisable, has a good message, a provocative song title that also reflects the bands different sides, there was a music video and even a whole album of the same name.

someone prompts the idea of a calendar with all of the beautiful pics that Lennard is taking, and Chris likes the idea and actually writes it down! (thinking about 2 group pictures + 1 for the cover and 2 x 5 portrait shots)

he likes the pink hair colour atm (even if it was actually supposed to be red), and thinks about bleeching it platinum again later this month, while still keeping half the hair pink (I think we would all love to see that ;D)

about never playing Not My Enemy: Chris says he is kinda scared to play it live. He wrote the song shortly after the start of the war against the Ukraine, so the meaning is very important to it. He would not want to play it at a festival or at any other place where most people don't know the song and the lyrics, and might even start moshing to it. If it were at a full LOTL show where most people know the song and can feel the meaning, then maybe, but generally it gives him physical pain to even think about performing it live.

and finally about collaborations with other ESC artists: What Chris can confirm is that there will be songs written together with La Zarra (as soon as they find the time). Besides that, there is also another collab that is already underway, but Chris does not yet want to give away with whom

Alright, that's all of my notes. If I missed anything that you are interested in, or you want a full translation of any part, as always, feel free to hit me up :)

#lord of the lost #lotl #chris harms #my translation #also can we all appreciate the Dry the Rain elevator music version for a sec playing at the beginning and end of their streams? what a vibe

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anonymityisfunwriter · 1 year

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The Twin Flame - Chapter 29: "You're On Your Own, Kid"

"So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it. You've got no reason to be afraid. You're on your own kid. You can face this…"

You smile proudly, sitting at the edge of the dock in front of the Wilson family boat as Sam directs some unfamiliar faces with a wide grin on his face. He claps a hand on the man's shoulder, walking away from him to move onto his next task.

He only stops when he sees you sitting on the edge of the dock, something he's told you not to do a million times before. You always rolled your eyes and balked at Sam's overprotectiveness extending to you accidentally falling in the lake.

Still, he watches you for a long moment. Your legs hanging over the deck, swinging just a few feet above the water. You hold your injured shoulder, absentmindedly rubbing it in a meager attempt to soothe what he knew had to be painful after that blow from John.

Though your shoulder concerns him, not as much as the distant look on your face. Before, you were never one to people watch. Never one to sit on the sidelines while life passed you by. You twiddle your thumbs with a look of contemplation on your face as you watch people walk up and down the dock, never once engaging or interacting with anyone. It was a far cry from the person who used to jump at the chance to talk, even just meet, someone new.

Without a word, Sam takes a seat beside you, his legs dangling off the deck in defiance of his own advice. The absence leaves your expression as soon as you become aware of Sam's presence. You turn to him with the best smile you can muster, "This is a great turn out, Sam."

"How's your shoulder?" Sam asks, his eyes flickering to the nasty bruise he knows lie beneath your t-shirt.

"It'll heal," you blithely dismiss, dropping your hand as to not concern Sam any further.

"You know, I gotta say I hate when you do that."

"What?"

"Acting like you getting hurt isn't a big deal. Like - I don't know, like you're expendable. Letting yourself get hurt. Refusing to fight back. And you do it a lot," he matter of factly points out.

"I did fight back," you softly remind him, watching the water ebb and flow beneath the dock. There was something about the free flowing waves and ripples that captivated you, that almost made you envious. "I couldn't help you and Bucky and defend myself all at the same time."

"And I'd bet everything I have that you didn't consider yourself once. And you and I both know that's not the only time I'm talking about."

"I made a choice," you forcefully state, recalling the other time Sam was talking about very well. You also remembered how easily the decision came to you, to lie your metaphorical weapons down and take the consequences as they came. "Steve needed to get out. We were losing and-"

"And to save everyone else you just let yourself get shot," Sam finishes for you.

"I wasn't going to hurt Tony."

"That's my point! Choose yourself for once," Sam explains in exasperation.

"I do. All the time."

"No, you don't. I can't think of a single time you've ever picked you." His words strike a particularly raw emotion. You didn't agree. You felt selfish. So much of your time was spent thinking about yourself. Thinking about what you did to other people. "Are you ever going to tell me why you're so miserable here?"

You look up at Sam to find him intently watching you like the moment he looks away will be the same moment you run away again. "I'm not miserable here. I'm happy."

Like you just said the funniest joke he's ever heard, Sam makes no attempt to smother his boisterous, clearly disagreeing, laugh, "You are not happy. Maybe you want people to think you're happy, but I know you're not."

"You can't just tell me that I'm not happy, Sam," you point out.

"Oh, yes, I can. You know why? Because happy people don't run away. Happy people don't shut everyone out for six months. Happy people don't constantly try to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. But you know what, more than any of that, I know you. I know you, not the SHIELD asset, not the Avenger, not Sunshine, you. And you're not happy."

He was right. That much you both knew. It was like the happiness was leeched out of you, back into the world where you thought it belonged. Happiness was better utilized in the world than with you. All you could do was hope that maybe that would be mark you left on the world. It would be better that way. The only blood that would stain your hands would be your own.

You'd done it all. Given your blood, sweat, and tears to the fight. You'd searched far and wide for something that wouldn't leave you, that couldn't run away, something that couldn't be taken away from you. You couldn't lose any more. You had nothing left to lose. You were on your own. And you were just now realizing that you'd always been on your own. "I'm trying, Sam. I'm really trying."

"I know." Sam stops himself from saying anything else, too worried about driving you away again. He pauses, staring out at the lake. "It feels like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?"

You don't need to look at him to know what he's talking about. "Yeah, it does."

"You miss it?"

"What? D.C.?" you ask.

He shrugs. "D.C., New York. You ever wish we could go back?"

"I don't miss being owned," you solemnly whisper. You realize you'd probably made the moment too heavy. Just to cut the tension, you add, "I don't miss you waking me up at 5 in the morning for a run either."

"Well, I know I miss it," Sam admits. "I miss when our biggest problem was trying to figure out how to get the receptionist at the VA to go out with me."

You chuckle at the fond memory. Despite knowing very little about social norm or customs, you were essentially one of the only people in Sam's day to day life that he could ask for help. It was one of the very last days of normalcy you had. You sent him to the VA with a large bouquet of flowers you bloomed that same morning along with Sam's phone number scrawled on a little card. The sweetness of the memory fades when you remember that he never went back to the VA after that day. He never got an answer. Phone numbers were disconnected. Later, they were changed. Lives abandoned. It was all different after that. "There's no point. There's no going back. We have to move on."

“You’re still allowed to be grieve,” Sam informs you. "You're even allowed to be mad."

The words sound odd in your ears. It was strange. No one had ever given you permission to be anything other than happy. That was what everyone expected, what they wanted from you.

Were you allowed to be mad? You didn't think so. It was a definitive part of your personality: not mad.

Happy.

Cheery.

Sunshine.

You'd come out the other side. Free to do as you pleased in the world - mostly. You survived being Blipped. Survived the battle with Thanos, a feat many others were not able to claim.

What did you have to be upset about? Your things were gone, friends dead, no real sense of belonging in the world. But you were alive. Sam took you in. You were surrounded by people that were kind and cared about you. So what was there to be mad about?

“I’m not mad, I’m really grateful,” you reflexively reply.

“Those aren’t mutually exclusive. I hope you know that," he tells you. "You’re a person, feelings are complicated. You can be grateful you’re on the outside while also being mad at the situation you were put in.”

"This place is amazing. You guys are amazing," you respond, not really answering Sam's question.

"But?" Sam urges.

"But it's not your job to take care of me anymore," you softly state.

"Alright," he interjects, holding his hand up to stop you. "That's like the third time you've said that to me. What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means," you pause with a choked up sigh, "Isn't it time for me to find me own place in the world? This isn't your job anymore, Sam. And I am more than capable of taking care of myself."

"No," Sam abruptly responds.

"No?" you questioningly repeat.

"No."

"Yes," you indignantly insist.

"No," he repeats with a shrug. "I don't accept that."

"But I can take care of myself," you insist. "I should -"

"No."

"Will you stop that?" you demand. Sam opens his mouth, the 'no' at the forefront of his mouth once more. You accusingly point at him, "And don't say no again!"

Sam closes his mouth, taking a moment to think of some other way to convince you that you weren't the burden or job you thought you were, "What's your last name?"

"Sam, you know my last name," you mutter.

"I know," Sam agrees, clearly leading you right into a conversational trap. "But apparently, you don't know."

"Because it's a technicality," you easily retort. "And you know that too."

"Technicality, my ass," Sam scoffs. He turns to you with an expectant look, "So what's your last name?"

"It doesn't mean anything," you whisper, wishing more than anything that you could believe that it wasn't a mere coincidence.

"Really?" Sam challenges. "Because you could've been a Stark, a Rogers, literally any other last name in this world, and there's a hell of a lot of them. But you're not. Wilson. That's your last name."

"I know that, Sam."

"Do you?" he questions. "Do you know that AJ and Cass ask about you all the time? 'When's Titi coming back? What mission is she on? What bad guys is she fighting?'"

"Are your pants gonna catch on fire?" you ask, your voice raspy from the knot forming in your throat.

"No, because it's true. And I know that I don't get it. I know that I will never get it," Sam concedes. "But I do understand that you want to know and you want to understand, and if you really need those answers I will help you however I can. But you don't need to go looking for a family, if you don't want to, you've got a family right here. Sarah always wanted a sister. She liked having another woman in the house - said it was better than living with me again. And I - I didn't want you to leave. And I should've said that sooner. I'm sorry I didn't make that clearer."

"More clear," you correct.

Sam turns to you with an exasperated expression, "Did you just correct my grammar in the middle of my heartfelt speech?"

"Yeah, guess I did," you chuckle. "You taught me well."

"You gotta stop hanging out with Bucky, his sarcasm's wearing off on you," Sam grumbles, rolling his eyes. He lifts his legs back onto the deck, standing up in one swift movement. He extends his hand out to you, "Now, come on."

You take his hand with a confused expression, standing up from your spot, "Come on, what?"

"We got a boat to fix." You look at him with an eyebrow raised. He laughs at your expression. "What, you thought I forgot? You're still grounded."

You roll your eyes at him. "You know I was going to help anyway."

"I know. I just like telling you what to do," he teases.

"Hey, Sam, if you're done gossiping, we could use a hand over here," one of the volunteers call from next to a fully loaded pick up truck. You both jog your way over to the truck to see a heavy piece of machinery. "So how do we get it off the truck?"

Sam's eyes knowingly flicker to you. You shake your head with an exasperated look, "Well, don't look at me."

"Sam," another man calls from behind you two. "We need another hand over here, there's too much water below deck."

You clap your hand on Sam's shoulder, "Now, that sounds like a job for me."

"Traitor," Sam shouts after you, already skipping down the dock to help on the boat. Sam and the three volunteers stare at the large piece machinery, a very heavy piece of machinery none of them stood a chance of getting off the pick up alone. "What if we all lift together?"

"Anyone have any better ideas?" the man chuckles. The next moment, the heavy engine shifts, slowly raising off the bed of the truck and onto the ground. The volunteer exclaims, "Oh!"

The engine is gently placed on the dock without a sign of strain from the super solider. Bucky looks at Sam with an arrogant smirk, "You're welcome."

"Bucky?" Sam questions. "What are you doing here?"

"Just dropping this off," Bucky replies, placing a sleek silver case on top of the engine. "You can sign for it and I'll go."

"Well, what is it?"

"I called in a favor from the Wakandans," Bucky cryptically answers.

"Sam! Oh, hey Bucky," you flippantly greet, barely noticing anything off with the super solider's sudden presence. You disappear back below deck for a second. It hits you suddenly. You immediately backtrack, literally walking backwards to confirm Bucky's presence with a quizzical look. "Bucky?"

"Oh, Bucky's here, by the way," Sam calls back to you.

"Uh, well, we could use your help over here!" you urgently beckon Sam over.

Sam jogs aboard the boat with Bucky in tow to see a violent stream of steam coming from a loose pipe. He grimaces as he frantically battles with the wrench to try to close it.

"Hold on, you gotta go up," Bucky instructs, taking the wrench from Sam and closing the valve within seconds.

With the steam finally stopped, you turn to Bucky with another question, "Why didn't you use the metal arm?"

"I don't always think of it right away," Bucky sheepishly responds. "I'm right handed."

"Makes sense," you agree.

"So this is the boat, huh?" Bucky wonders with a scan of the Wilson family boat.

"This is it," Sam proudly boasts, slapping the stern of the ship.

"It's nice. Need any help?" Bucky offers.

"Need all the help he can get," you mumble under your breath.

"I heard that!" Sam retorts.

"Well, I'm glad your hearing still works," you slyly quip.

Bucky smiles to himself as the two of you descend into quick-witted bickering throughout the day. Even after hours, Bucky doesn't ever stop finding the bickering and never ending discourse annoying. It's strangely endearing to him, almost reminding him of the way he and Steve used to banter back and forth.

Even as a hushed moment falls on to the three of you, he finds it no less comforting. The sun warms his face, the fresh air constantly blowing, it was almost second nature to be here.

He also finds that his eyes constantly wander to you, to find out what you're doing, how you're doing. He looks over once more to find your face turned up o the sun soaking in the warmth that the day offers.

He smiles to himself, finding comfort in the ease that paints your face. It's nice to know that the part of you that you swore was gone was still there. It's an ease to the guilt that hadn't quite left him since you confessed everything to him.

"Do you guys think Karli's ever gonna stop?" you audibly wonder, breaking the comfortable silence that descended over the three of you.

Sam inhales deeply, "Honestly, I think she's gonna double down."

"So how do we stop her?"

"Zemo says there's only one way," Bucky answers with a grimace.

"Since when do we take advice from Zemo?" Sam guffaws.

"I know he hates enhanced individuals and everything, and he would probably kill me the first chance he got, but I gotta say, he wasn't actually that bad. Think it'd be weird if I visited him in prison?" you ask.

"Yes," Bucky deadpans. "He also said to tell you hi. And thank you, didn't say for what though."

"No idea," you guiltily mutter. "Not a clue. Pfft.. I don't even know who Zemo is. Don't think I've ever met a Zemo."

"You know what? I don't want to know," Bucky flatly decides.

"That's probably a good choice," you admit with a chuckle.

"What about the Power Broker?" Sam unexpectedly asks.

"What about the Power Broker?" you question.

"I mean, and not to be all doom and gloom about it, but something's not sitting right with me. He wanted to make some of the most powerful people on Earth-"

"Aww... thank you," you interject.

Sam shoots you a glare before continuing, "And he just gave up? I don't buy it."

"You think he's going to go after Karli?" you infer.

"I don't know," Sam lies, almost entirely certain of where the Power Broker would go next. Even thinking it sent fear straight to his heart, he was far too worried that speaking the words would make them true.

Silence once again descends over the three of you as you all ponder Sam's words. He was right. Something about it didn't make sense. There was a piece you three were missing. Something that didn't add up.

The more you thought about the last week, the more wrong it felt. Karli. The Flag Smashers. The Power Broker. John Walker.

"Hey," Bucky nudges your uninjured shoulder with his. You're so lost in thinking about Karli and the Power Broker that you didn't even realize he'd come to sit by you. "You okay?"

You shake away the thought, "Yeah, just thinking."

"Well, we need to get the rest of the water off the deck if we're going to finish the other side," Sam explains, tossing you a bucket. "Might want to grab a bucket, Buck."

"Guys, might be easier if I just," you interject, nudging them back with a gentle shove.

The two men take a step back when the water pooled on the deck starts forming an unnatural bubble. The bubble raises in the air, only to gently fall off of the boat and into the lake with a small splash.

Sam bitterly scoffs, sarcastically muttering, "Well, if you have to show off, I guess."

Bucky snickers, an amused grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Thanks, doll."

Sam's eyes snap over to Bucky, his arms crossing with an angry huff. With a coy smile that tries its best to hide the furious blush on your face, you murmur, "You're welcome."

"Hey, uh, could I get your help for a minute?" Sarah calls from the deck. You three turn around to face her. She points at you beckoning you over.

"Oh, me!" You begin to climb over the slippery edge of the boat. "I'll be back. Probably."

"You better come back," Sam grumbles.

"Here, let me," Bucky offers, extending his hand to you.

You take his hand. The feeling of his incredibly warm hands is distantly familiar, and yet you can't help but think that it reminds of you of home.

You smile down at him as you climb onto the deck, "Thank you."

Bucky's not sure what it is about being here. Something about the day spent with possibly the last two people in the world that still know him, brings his guard down just a little bit. Maybe it's just the sun beaming down on him that's making him slightly delirious. Still, something about it emboldens him, and with a goofy grin, he winks at you, "You're welcome."

You can barely keep yourself from giggling like a school girl as you let go of Bucky's hand. You both maintain eye contact with each other for a moment too long when Sam clears his throat from beside Bucky.

"I should go see what Sarah needs," you state, though you make no move to leave with Bucky's eyes still locked on yours.

"Yeah, you should go do that," Sam forcefully states, causing you and Bucky to break eye contact and look at Sam with a confused expression.

"Okay, I will, you weirdo," you scoff, rolling your eyes at Sam.

Your heart still beats just a little too quickly as you walk toward Sarah at the end of the dock. She stands at the end of the dock just beneath the shaded wooden canopy, still looking down at her clipboard.

"What's up?"

Sarah juts her thumb over to the coolers over by the large working table off to the right. "Would you mind? The cooler's getting low on ice."

"Oh, no problem."

She looks up at you from her clipboard with a wide grin, "And while I have you here, can I ask you something?"

You shrug, bending down to start refreezing the coolers, "Sure."

"What was that?"

"What?" you question, though you have a good sense of what she's taking about.

"Doll?" Sarah chuckles, a knowing smile on her face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you deflect, staring a little too intently at the cooler.

"Oh, come on," she cajoles. "You leave to go soul searching, and just happen to come back with a super-soldier making goo-goo eyes at you?"

"We're friends," you insist.

"Friends? Or friends?" Sarah teases, playfully nudging you with her clipboard.

"Don't start," you wave her off, your eyes wandering down the dock and back to the boat where you see Sam and Bucky still working. "Besides, Sam would lose it."

"Forget Sam," Sarah scoffs. "His heart's in the right place, but can be a little..."

"Overprotective?" you supply.

"I was going to say annoying, but that works too."

"We are just friends," you repeat, failing to convince even yourself.

"Well, if you're not gonna go for it," Sarah mutters, looking down the dock to where Bucky sits on the edge of the boat. "He's pretty cute."

"Hey!" you teasingly warn. "Get your own super soldier."

"Oh, so now he's your super soldier?" Sarah laughs, a mischievous, wide grin painting her expression.

You dramatically suck in a breath, accusingly pointing at Sarah, "You did that on purpose!"

"Maybe," she shrugs with a laugh. She places her hand on your shoulder as you both look back at the two men working on the boat, "Or maybe you just need to go for it. Let yourself be happy every once in a while."

"You're on your own, kid. You always have been."

The Twin Flame Chapter List AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

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taeyamayang · 1 year

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HOME | CHARACTER DETAILS | VER. 1.0

BUGS FIXED:

♡ new characters are released!

♡ when a character gains a red heart a consequent benefit to y/n will occur. this is will be further explored in the next updates.

POLL RESULT:

♡ Join the Band

taglist: @thechaosoflonging @alienvarmint @phoenix666stuff @citrustsuki

ㅡspecial thanks to my beta reader @shut-up-you-guys-are-12 u the real mvp my bro <33

YOUR PLACE OR MINE?

Loading Version Update 2.0

What did you get yourself into?!

Joining a college band might not be a big deal to most but to you, who has never sung with a live band on stage, the idea itself weakens your knees. There’s no turning back now. You already said yes to Atsumu and Bokuto without even getting acquainted with the other members of the band. What is it with you and your impulsiveness?

To be fair, most of your impulsive decisions lead to great opportunities like a seat in Tokyo University. Typically, you would never have dared to think about passing the entrance exam, let alone think about taking the test but since the idea of attending the same University as your best friend, Daichi, is too good to put aside, you dove in without thinking.

The woman in her late fifties seals your ordered food in a box and hands it over to you, consequently pulling your wandering thoughts back to reality. “What else do you want?” she asks as soft wrinkles fold around the corner of her mouth.

“I’ll take another serving of this, please. Thank you.” You politely say pointing at the protein next to other dishes.

Since you're eating with Daichi, you make a mental note to order an extra dish to share. The woman packs it in a separate container before giving it to you. You pay her an exact amount then take your leave.

Daichi texted you a few minutes before you arrived at the cafeteria that he had found a seat for the both of you. His class before lunch must have ended early. It did not take you long to find Daichi eating his bento at one of the tables next to an aisle. He doesn't see you until you’re hovering over him with a face contorted into an expression far from the confidence you showed this morning.

“What’s up?” He utters between bites. Before you begin, you place the food box across from Daichi, pulling the plastic chair to the back of your knees as you sit. Just when you thought words would naturally form sentences, you are silenced by inner dilemma.

Daichi lets out an airy laugh, "You gotta say something, you know." He pops a mouthful of food into his mouth. He continues. "And eat."

Obliging, you open the containers in front of you. The moisture stuck to the roof of the box slides to your food, and you take this as a sign that it's getting cold. Hence, you pick up the utensils and give half of the protein to your friend. In return, he puts home cooked stir fried vegetables on top of your rice.

"I have decided on an extracurricular." It's easier to speak when you're not looking at him in his eyes.

"Yeah? What is it?" He munches on the protein you gave him and nods to himself in satisfaction. He glances at you when a beat of silence once again falls between the two of you. However, right before you could open your mouth to explain, the loud bang of a fist slamming into a table resonates in the cafeteria full of students.

Everyone instantly turns their heads at the source and sees a figure, familiar to you, with their back at you. His fists were balled up so angrily that the veins on his arms became visible.

"Isn't that your teammate?" Worry etches on your face. You can't remember his name but you have met him a couple of times before at the pool when you watch the swim team's practice. A snarky voice draws your attention back to the scene.

"A-re? Watch your attitude, Tobio." He wears a pair of glasses, lanky and overtowering in stature, and his pale blonde hair was tied back into a half-bun. Strands of hair stick out to the sides of his face giving him that ‘disheveled on purpose’ appearance. When Tobio doesn't respond to his taunt, a sly smile dances on his thin lips.

This is like watching alpha predators fighting over a territory on Animal Planet. As interesting as it is to you, you're concerned that the heat will take them to a fist fight.

"They have a bad history. I don't know much about it but I know two things. One, they went to the same high school and two, your food will turn stale if you keep sticking your nose in someone else's business. Eat." Daichi gestures to your food using a utensil in his hand.

"Aren't you worried they might end up punching each other? This looks intense." You whisper, afraid either of the two will catch on to you talking about them even though they're tables away from you.

"No. Kageyama has his mind set on making it to Japan's National Team. The last thing he wants on his record is a disciplinary action for violence. They won't do anything drastic. Trust me, I've seen them really heated, and pushing each other on the chest is the worst they ever got into. Coach warned Kageyama and he learned his lesson."

Daichi is right because as soon as he assures you, the blonde with a messy bun strides past you. He catches onto the quick turn of your head in his peripheral vision, making him glance at you briefly. It was barely more than a second but meeting the icy golden brown eyes behind the specs is enough to put you on the edge.

"You were saying?" Daichi, who seemed clueless of the fleeting interaction you had with Tobio's archenemy, motions for you to continue.

"I'm kind of part of a band now." You take a huge bite on your food to stall.

"Really? What's the band's name?" Daichi pauses to look at you, his hand tightening on his pair of chopsticks

"The Labyrinths." His reaction is immediate, both brows pulling upward, his eyes rounding, and his jaw slackening.

“The Labyrinths?” He asks as though to confirm if he had heard you correctly. You nod and repeat,

“Yep, The Labyrinths.” Daichi blinks at you repeatedly, dropping his utensils diagonally over the bento box.

“Why is there a problem with them?”

“No, it’s just…wow. They’re really good. Everyone predicted their win last season since the only other contestant even close, the Four Seasons guys, weren’t nearly up to par with them. Fortunately for the other bands that year, The Labyrinths mysteriously dropped out from the competition at the last second, right before the grand finals.”

“So they were not able to perform?”

“Yes. They were already setting up the stage when the one with the blonde hair…” Daichi squinted his eyes trying to recall the name of the person he’s describing. You fill it in for him upon realizing who he is referring to.

“Atsumu Miya?”

“Yeah, Atsumu. He approached the event organizer to tell them they couldn't perform that night. He didn’t look good either, I mean, he had this nasty looking bruise on his cheek.” Invested in the story, you lean your body forward as your brows furrow in the center of your forehead.

“What happened?”

“That…I don’t know. No one knows the real reason behind it. None of the band members spoke about it. But all rumors point to Atsumu and their previous vocalist having disagreements, because it wasn't a few days after the competition, that their vocalist left the group. From that point on, The Labyrinths have performed as an instrumental group.”

“Oh.” Is all you could say as you sink back in your seat. After learning all this information makes you feel unsure how to act in front of the members when you meet them for a trial. You quietly wish it won’t be as awkward as you think it would be.

You’re with Daichi majority of the time, so you’re mostly up to date with all the rumors in the University which makes you think, “How did I not know this?”

“Well, that was time you ditched me. I had two tickets for the band competition, remember?” Jogging your memory, you feel a tinge of guilt tickling your chest.

You groan, rather dramatically. “Ugh! I had a project due the following day!”

Back then, you were eighty percent done with it so you promised Daichi to attend the event with him but when your professor gave out the grading criteria on the day of the event, you were worried that your work wouldn't be good enough to get a decent grade. In the end, you had to apologize to Daichi for ditching him last minute.

Now that you recall why you’re out of the loop in the The Labyrinth scandal, you also remember that Daichi invited a girl in his class instead. He was proud to tell you how gorgeous his last minute date was and jokingly thanked you for ditching him.

“But if I hadn't ditched you, you wouldn’t have been able to go on a date with a girl from your class. How is she by the way? I haven't heard about her since then.”

For some reasons unknown to you, Daichi cringes his nose as the memory flashes in his mind. “I lied to you.” He confesses. “There was no date.”

“What?” You ask in disbelief. Why would Daichi, a straight up goody two shoes, lie about something like this?

“I was disappointed you couldn’t come with me when I was looking forward to it for a week straight. Practice was hell and the only motivation I had to push through was the idea of spending that time with you.” Daichi turns away, chewing on the insides of his cheek as his face dusts in pink.

He has always been honest with you but never has he been this forward when it comes to expressing his feelings. His words are usually detached from his emotions. Instead of saying -“I miss you”- he would say, -“It’s been awhile since we last saw each other”- and instead of, -“I don’t want you to catch a cold”- he would say, “You should take care of your health.”

You know that he cares for you, and that he sees you as a friend closer than anybody, but you were not aware that your absence would cause him to feel so dejected. He has always been independent, so you were not needed most of the time ㅡ you felt that he could enjoy anything, even without you there.

Lunch went on with Daichi changing the topic to swim practice and other matters. However, seeing him bashful over his honest confession still rests at the back of your mind. You know all too well that this will keep you up at night.

It isn’t long till the sun begins to dim its rays, and brighten its hue, spreading the warmth of sunset over the soccer field and through the glass windows. It is a sight to see, a comforting feeling accompanied by a sense of accomplishment nestled in your mind as you are left to your thoughts, recounting the events that happened today. It was a productive day, indeed.

You sit next to a window in your last class for today, peering through the window as you watch the soccer team execute drills. You were so immersed watching ant-like humans run across the field that you didn’t notice a person sitting next to you. It was when the nagging feelings of an unmoving gaze shooting at you-like a ghost behind you waiting to be noticed that you turned to look.

He was equally surprised as you when your eyes metㅡhim embarrassed that you caught him staring, on the other hand, you were shocked to see a recognizable face.

“Have we met?” You ask even though you’re almost entirely certain that he’s the guy from this morning, the one you accidentally bumped into. The fringe over his eyes is too remarkable to forget.

“Uhm, y-yes, I think.” He stutters, shifting his eyes to somewhere but you.

“I’m sorry about this morning. I was careless-”

He cuts you off and rambles. “It’s no big deal, it’s fine. The hallways are packed in the morning so it’s fairly understandable to cause an accident such as bumping into someone and messing with their stuff.”

‘Messing with their stuff’ he phrases it as if you’ve done something grave, instead of just knocking a couple of pens on the floor. Nonetheless, you find him adorable.

“I’m (y/n).” You introduce yourself to a potential new friend for the new semester. “What’s your name?”

He swallows thickly, looking at your hand spread out waiting for a handshake before pushing his glasses back to the top of his nose bridge. “Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Nice to meet you, Kuroo.”

“You too.” He responds rigidly, holding the ends of your fingers into a gentle handshake. You assumed that he might not be the best with small talk, so you decide to carry the conversation.

“What do you major in?” Turning your body to face his direction so he’d take the cue that you’re willing to know more about him.

“History.”

A one-word reply. He really isn’t the best with small talks.

“Cool! I'm majoring in Anthropology. I guess we fall under the same department, huh?” You show him a smile that reaches your eyes in hopes that would make him feel comfortable around you.

Shortly, the professor comes in with a ringed binder in his hand. Which only means either a take home task or a class activity...on the first day of the new semester? You can already tell that this class won’t let you off the hook easily and you already feel tired just thinking about it.

He begins the class by introducing himself, his credentials as an instructor, and spared the students the chore of introducing themselves one by one. As you predicted, as soon as he flips the cover of the bound material open, he starts explaining the details of a pair work assignment.

“The number of students enrolled in this class is uneven so some of you have to be grouped into three. You will stick to this grouping for the rest of the semester. If you have issues with your groupmates later on during the semester you either have to submit a peer review or deal with it like young adults. You’re not kids anymore. Deal with it like responsible students.” He spoke in a firm and authoritative manner.

Kuroo turns to you sheepishly and unexpectedly he asks. “Do you want to pair up with me?”

You’re glad that he finally initiated a conversation. At least you know that he’s interested in you too, (even if only in the sense of a project partner.) “Sure!”

“The last pair to announce their names will be automatically assigned to a group of three.” Instantly, hands fly to the air eager to be called by the professor. Kuroo raises his hand timidly so that it only reaches the height of his head hence the professor couldn’t see him through impatient hand raises.

While the professor is busy jotting down names of pairings in class, a student excuses himself late by the door. As if this day couldn't get anymore eventful, for the second time around this day, you met the same icy golden brown eyes from the cafeteria. Kageyama’s foe. He bows at the professor as an apology before rushing to an empty seat.

Kuroo speaks, announcing your name and his name under group M.

“You’re in the last group, Kuroo and…(y/n).” The professor reads your name on the classlist and whips his head to look at you. “You automatically take the triad which means you’ll be in the same group with Tsukishima Kei.” His eyes point to the person sitting at the back, the same person you saw in the cafeteria, and the same person late for class.

Tsukishima looks at the both of you, studying your expressions with intensity before nodding at the professor in agreement. A barely audible groan is uttered from Kuroo as though he was punched in the stomach after glancing at Tsukishima. “I don’t feel good about this.”

You want to comfort him by saying it won’t be that bad, but how could you say such a thing when even you don’t believe it fully. Tsukishima had left you with a bad impression after seeing the confrontation between him and Kageyama. Now you have to work with him for the entire semester?

The professor gives out the details of the first project that has to be turned in on Friday. After listing down the criteria and answering questions from the class, he leaves the remaining ten minutes to the students to discuss arrangements.

Kuroo begins by asking you where and when you want to do the said project. He asks for your schedule so he could list down the hours you’re both free. You glance at Tsukishima who’s busy on his phone. He doesn’t make any effort to leave his seat and cooperate with planning when it’s obvious enough that you’re shooting him inviting gazes, which ultimately draws you to a conclusion that he is purposely ignoring the two of you.

Maybe Kuroo is right, this does sound like bad news.

“This is hard. We can only brainstorm after classes. Where should we do it?” Kuroo may not be a conversationalist but he does well when it involves planning. He continues. “We can finish the project at my place but…”

“But?” You ask.

“I have a roommate. Though I’m pretty sure Kenma won’t mind, he doesn't get out of his room most of the time anyways. But then again there’s Akaashi who visits often and…” His voice fades into a whisper as though he’s talking to himself rather than to you. His thumb scratches his chin, as he considers variables unknown to you. When he notices his drifting thoughts, he immediately directs his attention back to you. “My roommate wouldn't mind, but you might not be comfortable visiting a stranger’s place, which I would understand.”

Cafes are not budget friendly especially if projects such as this require frequent meet-ups. Hence, you are torn between offering your place or taking the easy route by agreeing to do the projects at his place. Do you trust Kuroo or would you rather clean your place every now and then when he plans to meet up?

welp, now that's a tough one. if i were y/n i would have tossed a coin but nahhh i'm here to make things difficult mehe >:)

...to make things interesting ofc ;)

LOVE METER

Daichi Sawamura: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Atsumu Miya: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Kuroo Tetsurou: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Tsukishima Kei: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

?: 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

btw, HERE IS THE POLL!!

masterlist

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sophieinwonderland · 8 months

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About the plural artists conversation:

For those who have worries about being at a normal job with a singlet boss, there's a great video about this in the archives of the Plural Positivity World Conference, "2022 Working while Plural Accommodations, Automations, and Disclosure in the workplace"

It's possible to get free/pay-what-you-can tickets for each year's PPWC conference and then afterwards they send an email with a link to give you access to recording from previous years. Highly recommend

But also, yeah. The thing is, I have a LOT of experience with enduring sustained ostracism/harassment/abuse, and grew up thinking that I might as well put my resilience in that area "to good use" in some way (eg I grew up witnessing women politicians getting hounded by the press, and it looked pretty similar to what I was already tolerating in school, so I thought, I could endure that treatment in a job and maybe get some improvements underway). But also, at the actual time that you're busy Enduring, it's really hard to tell just how much it's affecting you, and in retrospect, I did develop good survival skills for that type of scenario, but I also developed CPTSD. If I faced the risk of publicity and hatred again, could it be "finding meaning" in my experiences and reinforcing my strengths as part of healing? Or would it turn into reliving past bad experiences and exacerbating things, making it harder to heal? There's no way of predicting how it would affect me.

So it's a question that I don't have an answer to, either. We should push for a world where succeeding in view of the public eye does not carry an implicit threat, and that project of social change requires a certain amount of openness. Like you don't get a queer civil rights movement if barely anyone comes out.

But also, one thing that I've been contemplating recently is the idea that our choices of how to behave depend on the social context that we're in. And there's a big difference between social spaces where people are trying to live genuinely and with equality and compassion, and social spaces where there's an inherent power imbalance that never really goes away no matter how nicely/ethically the specific people are. And in this capitalist society, with no universal basic income or meaningful safety net, any situation where you're trying to get paid is a situation where you are underneath someone in a power hierarchy, whether you're dealing with a boss or a customer or both. The consequences of poverty create power imbalance. Starhawk writes about this more coherently than I am right now, but you know what I mean.

It's one thing to love having plurality as part of your online identity, where you've got some degree of control over who you engage with, and whether you engage with them at all, because the social context is building a nice community online. But yeah, loving that experience is one thing, but the second money and dependence come into it, you're dealing with a different social context so the decision to be openly plural has a different meaning.

When it comes to surviving under capitalism, you definitely just gotta do what you gotta do. "Branding" is a matter of surviving under capitalism, and so is "controversy-as-promotion" - like, they're both just hollow strategies and I feel like in a way it's completely interchangeable - if you're not free to be genuine, and you have to pick a strategy for survival, then they're all equally bad options in way, because your hand is forced. It's hard to feel good about a decision when that decision was made in awareness of the threat of hatred and/or poverty, for me at least, I feel like no matter what way I end up going, the power and implicit threats set up by society mean that it's a coerced choice and not one made freely.

I feel like I'm sort of rambling, but this is something I think about a lot. My current life plan (and we'll see how that goes, lol) is to write under a penname, because my writing is an area where I want to be genuine and break away from self-censorship; but also, my Plan A is to have other jobs as my main income, so I'm not dependent on writing. For me, that feels important, I think I'll do much better and more meaningful, truthful work as a writer if I can distance that work from the fears and threats and coercion that are impossible to remove from paid work under capitalism. I don't know if I'm explaining this well. I feel like, when it's an unbalanced power situation, you can retain greater dignity and greater freedom to make choices without coercion if you lean heavily on having privacy. So in situations where I need to think about "making money" it becomes necessary to think about professionalism, branding, etc and so there's more self-censorship, and less genuine freedom of choice.

I already sort of have a split between "fandom creative work that can't be monetised" and "other creative work that is safe to mention to colleagues without weird reactions" so it feels natural to me to have multiple avenues for presenting things. I'm planning to publish things under my legal name that I wouldn't mind being seen if I was googled by a boss or landlord. Then the penname(s) can allow for more freedom and authenticity and creativity, for the "meaningful" work that I want to do as a writer or artist, where it would be nice to get money but it's not intended to be commercial.

Of course, I don't know how this will work in reality, since it requires both having time and having time-management skills to be doing multiple avenues of work at once - a lot of people end up finding that the pressure for commercial creation leaves them with no time to make their important art. I hope I won't get too stuck in that type of rut. But I feel pretty good about the idea of being a writer/artist who also has a day job part-time, and then going full "professionalism and privacy and strategically negotiating power imbalances" in the day job, so I've got room to go "full authenticity" in the creative stuff, without those psychological effects of being totally shackled to public opinion of my personal art for food and housing. I'm speaking as someone who has not yet really got an actual career off the ground, but anyway these are my thoughts about how I'm going to go about it in the future, and I feel pretty okay about this as a plan.

That sounds like a solid plan to me! And this is just an excellent post all around!

If anyone is interested in the video, I think I found it here.

youtube

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thatsparrow · 2 months

Text

thoughts after the first 2 episodes of live-action atla

(mild spoilers to follow)

(these opinions are obviously informed by having grown up on the animated series, and my primarily considering the live-action version in terms of how it holds up as an adaption to a previously existing property, as opposed to wholly treating it as its own entity)

1. the bending was one of the things I was most interested to see, and it's absolutely some of the most visually interesting, creative, and dynamic parts of the show. it also adds a new level of intensity and violence to the fights (gotta say, far more immolation than I expected) — there's a much more visceral sense of what happens when you earthbend a bunch of jagged stones bullet-speed or how it would feel to get hit by a concussive blast of air or that we're dealing with real fire here, and, where the animated show seemed to treat firebending as mainly like dealing force damage to other people (excepting a couple significant, plot-relevant moments, e.g., zuko's scar, aang burning katara's hands, the lightning that hits aang's back), the live-action show makes clear how brutal those hits would actually be (related: also lent a new appreciation to the kyoshi warriors fighting with metal fans—of course if you're a non-bender, you'd need a practical, handheld means not just of fighting, but of blocking elemental attacks coming your way)

2. the first episode starts before the war, establishing the fire nation's plan to attack, and leading with their assault on the southern air temple, aang leaving shortly beforehand and getting caught in the storm, and setting all of this during the "comet festival," previewing the importance of sozin's comet presumably before however they plan to adapt the finale. most of this is information we got in flashbacks in the animated show (some of it shown explicitly, some just alluded to). I liked the sequence at the southern air temple, but I do think the decision to dedicate a big chunk of the pilot to this backstory shows how much of the live-action focuses on exposition and tying everything into the overarching story. will get into it more once katara and sokka meet aang, but one of my biggest takeaways with the longer episode run-times and shorter season (a decision I'm sure was logistically/executively driven) is that the show feels like it has no time to breathe. they're trying to fit so much story into eight episodes that suddenly everything has to be in service of setting up all the things aang has to do and finding ways to get him through that checklist of goals as soon as possible, as opposed to the characters organically exploring the world, driven by the fun, curious, sometime selfish impulses of kids/teenagers, coming across the ever-present consequences of the war and reacting to those situations, ramping up the stakes throughout the season

3. I'll give the live-action credit in that I think it's able to create a sense of scale and grandeur in a way that doesn't always translate in the animated version. the southern air temple and the surrounding mountains truly feel up in the clouds. the wreckage of the fire nation ship that katara explores feels massive. the spine and ribs supporting the water tribe's tent. appa's size comparison to all the other characters! those visuals added a new element and depth to the scenes that I thought was really well done

4. okay, one of my main beefs was how often it felt like they changed the plot in a way that removed agency from the characters. things are happening around them rather than really done by them. aang's emergence from the iceberg is a great example of this. instead of being caused by katara's explosive bursts of anger (also previewing how strong she is as a bender), it almost felt more like something that happened to coincide with her trying to summon the canoe back. was she the source? it was hard to tell. and if not, you lose all the impetus that comes from katara (and sokka, inadvertently) being the ones to bring about aang's arrival. instead, they just happen to be at the right place in the right time.

5. again, it's wild to me how fast the story moved. I left the room for like ten minutes right when zuko's ship was arriving, and when I came back, they were already leaving on appa for the southern air temple (which also happened in the same episode! wild!!)

6. aside — re: the previous point about the characters' lack of agency, was thinking about this in terms of aang and katara not hitting the tripwire in the old fire nation ship—a moment of two kids exploring a place they're not supposed to be, making a mistake, and that mistake having ramifications. feels like such a byproduct of current media engagement/discourse that the characters don't seem allowed to make mistakes or have negative attributes or fuck up at all really! if something bad happens, it's caused externally, and if there's any internal or interpersonal tension, it's solved right away

(okay quick read more break bc this got a little long)

7. side effect of that compressed timeline, trying to balance all the various storylines while also prioritizing exposition and plot, there's no room for character development, let alone the characters getting a chance to know one another. no time passes between aang waking up in the southern water tribe and katara and sokka agreeing to go with him. other than him being the avatar, why do they really care about one another? what's their connection? it doesn't feel like they have much of one, not helped by the fact that the next episode has them all pursuing (mostly) separate ends

8. one thing that the compressed timeline also felt like it was missing was room for fun—that aang's first thought on waking up was wanting to go penguin sledding, that when they reach the southern air temple they first play airball, that he wants to go kyoshi island to ride giant koi fish! the live-action version has so little time to focus on anything but plot that it missed this piece of a 12-year-old kid being a 12-year-old kid, who left the air temple in part because he was overwhelmed by the responsibility in front of him, who wants to explore the world and, in the process, can't help but continue to come across all these consequences of the fire nation's conquest—moments which often hit that much harder for the moments of levity just before (e.g., aang beating sokka in airball before discovering gyatso's body)

9. coming from the animated series, it was a little—surprising, I guess? how quickly aang leans wholeheartedly into his destiny to end the war, and that becomes the guiding motivation for their decisions, e.g., visiting kyoshi island to seek out the shrine, rather than just goofing around with some giant koi fish (granted, I haven't seen the animated series in a while, but I really felt like mention of studying waterbending, particularly katara wanting to improve as a waterbender, was raised much earlier). additionally, given how quickly he accepts the responsibility, so much of his internal tension revolves around being afraid of his own power and how to best approach his aims, rather than the animated show's more persistent early dilemma of him being reluctant to accept the mantle of avatar and all that goes with it (this is maybe going to sound like a goofy way of phrasing it, but live-action aang feels more like a character than he does like a kid)

10. again, a side effect of the compressed timeline, but because there are significantly fewer episodes (8 vs… 20?), there's this need to have everything be related to the central story. I think back to the animated show, where so many of the episodes' stakes were less directly tied to the fire nation (certainly initial events might be triggered or influenced by the nature of the war/conquest existing around them, the characters living under the shadow of that past and current violence, but then the episode's tension would be focused elsewhere.) zuko wasn't the main villain for every episode, or his pursuance of the gaang often felt more like a 1v1 than the gaang up against the might of the fire nation. necessarily, the live-action show needs to move more quickly, but it's wild to me that zhao is introduced and leads a force against the gaang in episode two, when we've barely event gotten a sense of zuko as an adversary

11. overall, I thought all the actors were really solid, particularly the kids/teenagers — I was struck by how much aang and katara felt like kids in comparison to sokka, suki, and zuko

12. that said, I feel like the actors are doing their best with what they've been given, which so often feels like not enough. I was really struck, particularly in episode 2, how much of a backseat character katara felt like, which is wild! I think her actor does a great job of conveying katara's hope and stubbornness, but it was frustrating me how little it sememed like her character had to do. the sokka/suki romance is fun, but it did feel very unbalanced to me how much focus that got, and how little screentime katara received in comparison (she goes with aang to the library, she watches him when she's in the spirit world, she stands up to zuko, and that's… mostly it? man I don't know, maybe it gets corrected in later episodes, but in my mind, she's such a driving force in the animated show, and in the live-action, it feels like she's been made as uncomplicated as possible, and that leads to her being a much less action-driven character)

13. very cool and fun how they represented the spirit world! there was a disorienting, unsettling, dream-like element to it that added a new sense of unreality and danger to what those trips to the spirit world would feel like

14. so. I get why kyoshi is the first avatar aang speaks to, bc you've established his rationale for visiting kyoshi island as seeking out her shrine, but it definitely felt… odd? disastifying? that she's the first avatar he speaks to as opposed to roku. kyoshi has such a specific perspective as the avatar, one that's often at odds with aang's approach informed by having been raised by the monks, and so it was surprising to have this first conversation with a past avatar be one where the two are inherently disaligned in their methods, compared to the mentor/mentee relationship between roku and aang

15. speaking of the conversation between aang and kyoshi, the resolution to that moment being kyoshi taking over aang's body to fight off zhao also felt like another instance of the characters having less agency, and therefore less opportunity to learn from their choices. instead of balancing kyoshi's advice with the monks' teachings, she does all the fighting for aang, so he's absolved from needing to thread that needle. instead of stealing the waterbending scroll and incurring the anger of the pirates, it's just given to katara (and she struggles significantly less with learning the forms)

16. this is a small thing, but I was hoping to see far more animals than we have. no penguins? no rough riders? no giant koi fish? no unagi?? (I know with the changes, they didn't have much role in the plot, but I always want a giant water eel)

17. I was very surprised that the motivation for visiting the northern water temple was kyoshi's warning to aang, rather than him and katara trying to find a waterbending master, which still felt like a good enough reason on its own. I have to assume it's to establish urgency because by the end of the ep, there are only 6 episodes left in the season, but it leads to feeling like the characters are just being ushered from one location to the next for the sake of checking off plot points, rather than them choosing what to do and where to go based on their own inner motivations

18. I think that's everything

tldr there were elements of watching it that I really enjoyed, but having grown up on the animated series, it was difficult to watch the live-action without also keeping the animated series analogs in mind and often feeling less satisfied by the adaptation choices that were made—understandable ones, to be sure, to suit the constraints of the shorter season, and likely a whole host of other logistical and production concerns, but I do think the plot and characters suffer as a result

#avatar the last airbender #atla #atla live action #atla spoilers #kayla's media tag #avatar

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scramble-crossing · 10 months

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17 and 19

17. Character you think had the best arc

Sort of Rindo, sort of Shoka

Shoka's arc is probably the best-written in the game. She's given the most backstory out of all of the new characters, and with the main antagonists of the game being her own once happy, now crumbling family, the whole narrative is perfectly suited to fleshing out her individual storyline. There's a lot of room to develop her and the writers definitely made the most of it. It's just not my personal favourite. Shoka's a good character and all, but she didn't really click for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think Rindo's arc is pretty decisive in the fanbase? Some people think it was done well, others think it pales in comparison to Neku's. Personally I think that subtlety in a character's arc is a good thing (I say subtlety lightly, Rindo's deal becomes pretty obvious if you're paying attention in the right places) but it's not really in the twewy spirit. Neku set a standard of heavily flawed protagonists with very clear deficits of character to the point of starting off as flat-out unlikable, and while early Rindo does teeter towards this, it feels like the writers didn't commit to it entierly. Or didn't want to. Or couldn't.

One of Rindo's biggest problems is that the medium he's in can be counterintuitive to what his arc is trying to achieve. Rindo is supposed to be a weak-willed, indecisive train wreck who constantly hoists responsibility onto others so that he can avoid the consequences of having made the wrong decision. And while this does come across, it's hampered by the fact that as the player character, you are constantly taking control of and making decisions for him. He starts to feel less like the kind of person who's incapable of making a choice, and more like someone who can and will when it really comes down to it.

I dont think his arc is bad or especially unclear. I think it can be easy to forget what his deal is supposed to be when from the player's perspective, he's been in control this whole time, even when the narrative is trying its best to tell you that this isn't the case. You've gotta look just a teensy tiny bit closer into what he's thinking and saying over what you're leading him to do.

It also doesn't help that the most obvious instances of him being indecisive or having lingering doubts are entierly reasonable. For example, it is a huge decision whether or not to trust a rival team leader who's survival depends on your demise. Really, it starts to feel more like Rindo is being understandably cautious and Fret is the one at fault for pushing him to make a quick decision based at least in part on his crush. He's not at all impartial, and Rindo doesn't push it down to the wire enough for it to be a major issue.

Also!!! The absolute biggest issue I take with Rindo's arc is that he never abuses his Replay in a way that would've made sense for an arc centered around avoiding responsibility. He's pretty much always forced to use it during situations that are out of his control because they could've only been avoided with information that he didn't have at the time. So much of the Soul Pulvis generated isn't Rindo's fault at all. It's Nagi's for exploding him with her mind or Minamimoto's for withholding his help (twice!) with the express purpose of triggering a Replay, or its because he and the others were held up by completely unforeseeable circumstances caused by Noise or other Players. Had Rindo been forced to use Replay for situations he undeniably caused because of his inability to make a decision, or even better, if he'd started to make decisions apathetically knowing that he can just go back and fix it if it didn't work out, I think his arc could've absolutely shone and even rivaled Neku's, as iconic as it was.

This has become a whole essay now and I'm sorry. The TLDR is that Rindo's arc is good, but it definitely has its faults. Some are on the part of the writers, but some are unavoidable based on the fact that he's the player character and is going to be subject to some projection that might make him appear to be more of a leader than he was in the early days of the game. It could've been better, but it's definitely not as bad as some people make it out to be.

19. Overall, do you prefer the first game's cast or Neo's?

In retrospect the second game is filled with so many recurring characters that this is a hard question to answer. Plus there was pretty even focus on the Reapers vs the Players whereas the first game was pretty solidly concerned with the core Hachiko Gang, and every other character was designed with the intent of contrasting with them in some regard (Konishi and Beat's whole mind vs the heart deal for example). It's kind of an unfair comparison since both games set out to accomplish different and not necessarily better or worse things with their casts, but in general I've got a bigger soft spot for twew1's cast over neo's. I like the Shibuya Reapers a lot. I'm literally writing a whole collection of drabbles about them being friends. It's some kind of brainworm idk

#I need to stop talking now I think #ask

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lazaruspitreborn · 2 months

Text

Open starter

Jason had been out for some grocery shopping and nothing else, just a quick grab and go short list of basic things he really needed for his place and ingredients for the week's meal preparation and he could be back home in less than an hour.

It was a perfect plan until he stopped by the crosswalk and heard a commotion going on. 'It's nunnya business Jay, just keep walking.' Said one side of his mind as he crossed to the other side and turned on the corner. 'But you might be the best chance at help right now.' Exclaimed the other side of himself as a counterpoint to make his steps halt and he turned on the heels of his feel to go see what was going on.

A kid locked outside in a car, apparently passed out. People were gathering around, but only one did something about it an all they did was call the police, which Jason calculated that wouldn't be enough, because the cops wouldn't get here fast enough.

'Leave. You're not on duty.' Another debate started inside of him, and it would eat his mind if it wasn't for the fact that he had a huge weakness when it came to kids. Call it a reflection of his life that he couldn't walk away from and ignore.

And, of course, when a man of his size walked into a crowd, if Jason wasn't making himself small, it made others step to the side.

"Gotta break the glass. Anybody has a pen? Like a heavy duty one?" Jason asked with careful control of his voice, threading a line of urgency as he looked around the crowd who were worried about the kid. "C'mon people! There's a kid dying in there! Help a man help her!" He put on some more strength on his voice to get them to search.

A few seconds and a woman handed him not a pen, but a self-defense keychain that looked like a cat with sharp ears and that fit on her knuckles; not the best solution, but it would do for the emergency, and it was better than a pen. Jason closed his fingers around the loops on the thick metal of the keychain and quickly started to punch at the weakest spot of the glass until it broke and he could slip a hand and arm inside to pull on the lock-pin and open the door.

He pulled the limp body of the little girl into his arms to protect her from the shards while getting her out, then looked around to see if anyone knew her, but the crowd seemed to be formed by strangers alone - not good.

The little girl needed medical attention, but the closest hospital was too far away, so the next best thing was... Jada's mobile clinic. Jason should be able to get her there faster than most even though he was going as a civvie, after all, he knew the city better than most, especially the poor side of Gotham.

Another ten seconds and no one claimed the kid, so he took the decision himself and began to run to where he knew Dr. Thompkins would be, he'd deal with the possible consequences later, but first, Jason was going to save this little girl's life.

The minutes felt like an eternity until he handed the little one to Jada and was free to go back to his... oh, shit! Jason forgot his grocery bag amidst the commotion! And now it wasn't where he left it.

A heavy sigh escaped him as he realized what just happened. Truly, Jason couldn't help himself, he loved the people of Gotham and the city itself in his own way, and he did all he could in and out of costumes to make it just a little better. And in turn, often ended up being smacked on the head by the rest of the world for being too giving to strsngers and the people down on their luck of the city.

"Oh, well... hope someone have a nice week with my food and toothpaste." Jason shrugged to himself and pulled his hood up to go back to his day - he wasn't going back to the store, but took his way back home with his hands in his pockets and a slumped postured to blend with the crowd again.

#》open starter #//idk just pick from anywhere to continue i guess?#//i don't really have any plans #//just wanted to write down a little bit of jason being a nameless hero

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val-victory · 4 months

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I'm not saying that Sense can't fetch slippers, I'm saying that a super powerful Pokémon with the condition he's got is NOT a good Pokémon for allowing near small children who may be trying to touch him or move suddenly, or that he'd be able to do all the thing this old lady's yamper would do.

And I said contests as an example of things that this hypothetical old lady would have her Pokémon do. You've made the argument that just having a Pokémon you send into one battle doesn't make them an ace trainer, so letting your 7 year old granddaughter borrow your yamper to do her local "junior pokecontest" doesn't make you a contest coordinator.

However training a yamper to handle its power (electricity) in such a way that it doesn't accidentally start electrical fires after zoomies/zap the grandkids when they play tag is still training a Pokémon, and training them to use their abilities properly. Training it to use Dig to help out with gardening, or Helping Hand to . . . well lend a helping hand is training. It's not intensive like being an ace trainer, and no one is saying that, but it is still training a Pokémon.

An old man who takes in an elderly rescue skitty and teaches it to trust humans again and not attack is still a trainer, even if he's not battling it. He may even be putting in more effort into training than an ace trainer with a tortera they've had since they were a turtwig, because he's having to form a bond with a Pokémon that has never trusted him, or anyone else.

Your bond with your Pokémon isn't the only kind of bond that matters, or the only way of being a trainer, and just because someone doesn't follow all the principals of an Ace trainer doesn't mean they're not a trainer.

There's a reason you gotta specific ACE trainer instead of just saying trainer, it's because you don't have to be an ace to be a trainer, you just gotta be teaching Pokémon behaviours by forming a bond with them.

Look, you can do what you want, but the "might is right" views and speaking points make people worry about how far you'd go, especially when you seem to not care about the possible consequences of your actions/how people or their Pokémon may get hurt.

Yes things are a certain way on Victory Road, but as you've made clear you're in the top percentage of trainers, and for every Ace there's probably ten bug-catching trainers just starting out. Two kids battling with their caterpie shouldn't be thinking "this is a fight to the death and I must win at all costs" and talking like the only right way to battle is to have their Pokémon try and take chunks out of one another is not going to help them.

Okay... i think i get you now.

At least to me. a Trainer is a Person who has decided to dedicate their Full Time to Training and Battling.

The people you describe aren't Trainers. they are Hobbyists. i do not care about those People. They can do whatever the fuck they want. i do not care.

I hate this conflation between hobbyists and Trainers, this gets people hurt. Someone with little experience should'nt be trusted with Killer machines like my Teams. That has always been my Position.

"Might is right" is the basis of the League. Who is the Champ? the weakest trainer??? NO!. the most mediocre Trainer??? NO!

The Champ is the strongest Trainer, and that has always been what being a Trainer is about.

I just want little Timmy the 10 Year old Kiddo who just got their Trainer-Pass to go into their Journey prepared!

I want them to understand who they are dealing with. i want them to know that Running Boots aren't made for this. i want them to know that they will get hurt. i want them to know that becoming a Trainer is the worst Decision you could ever make in your Life because unlike me 50% of Trainers quit before their Fifth Badge.

What makes me Ace is my Hard work and Dedication. My Full time Commitment. My Desire to do more. to get stronger than anyone before me. This is what makes me different. i am not a Hobbyist.

And don't twist my Words. there is nothing wrong with Hobbyists. i am just not one of them.

#rotomblr #rotumblr #pokemon irl

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mlobsters · 5 months

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supernatural s12e10 lily sunder has some regrets (w. steve yockey)

almost typed regerts. will i have them? also forgot billie said "consequnces on a cosmic scale" so thanks for the reminder, does that mean cas caused the big problem again this time? they take turns. also appreciate the bitchy little *pause* "you're welcome." from cas, lol

s12e10 / cybill (1995-1998) s1e5 - alicia witt as zoey woodbine

oh, it's uhhh. alicia witt! what do i know her from originally. something when she was in her teens maybe? voice is the same. ahhh she was in cybill too, she was one of the mains! cybill's daughter.

did you know jensen was also in an episode of cybill?? one episode in 1997 lol

damn this is punchier than i remember, pretty great actually. watching a little clip and alicia's line talking to her mom (cybill) and cybill's best friend, maryann

cybill s1e5 (clip) ZOEY You know what your problem is. You're both addicted to orgasms. MARYANN Did I black out and miss something? ZOEY No, I just think you two are pathetic. All you ever talk about is men and sex, men and sex. It's so boring. What's the big prize? A few seconds of involuntary muscular contractions.

so ok, dedee pfeiffer was also in cybill (42 episodes! she was the other daughter) - she was in spn s4e19 jump the shark, and i see it looks like she's a main on big sky too, which jensen was in s3 of. i have not tried to watch it (or walker or basically anything else they've been in). it's all connected!

45 minute detour later.... 🥴 (she's been in a ton of other stuff ofc)

laughed out loud at the response to angel pulling an angel blade, answer is ha-ha i have two angel blades!! so cheesy.

SAM You talk to Cass yet? DEAN No. SAM So, what, you're just gonna keep walking past each other in the kitchen, not saying a word? DEAN Maybe. SAM Look, yes, Cass killed Billie, but he saved us. He saved Mom. How long are you gonna stay pissed? DEAN I'm not pissed that he cares about us, you know. I'm – I'm grateful. But Billie said there would be “cosmic consequences” if that deal got broken. You have any idea what that means? SAM No. DEAN Neither do I, but I'm pretty sure it ain't jellybeans and g-strings. SAM My point is, Cass thought he was doing the right thing.

so this is the thing that dean's gonna hold a grudge over? well he drops other things pretty fast so i imagine it's not gonna last. i thought the wall breaking was the unforgivable grudge-worthy thing but eh! they're family, i think was the explanation. the perpetual clean slate. which i've been given reason to believe for certain individuals. maybe not at all for others falling under the category :p

SAM Yeah, all right. Well… we'll come with you. CASS Both of you? DEAN Sure. Yeah, we could help. Gotta make sure you don't do anything else stupid.

don't be an asshole, dean. i will be the first to agree cas tends to make atrocious decisions, but sometimes you keep those comments inside your head :p

SAM All right. Guys, you know what? This – this silent treatment thing, it's silly. It's not gonna work. Whatever we're walking into, we should, you know, probably have an actual plan. CASS (sighs) What do you wanna know? DEAN Oh, he speaks. SAM Enough.

i'm here for sam having to mediate their snapping at each other but i was trying to figure out why (perpetually displeased with how the show does their relationship) i thought the bickering felt unfounded and contrived and like. dean being this stubborn-mad at cas for saving his two closest family members (and himself) because of some hazy unknown big bad consequences.... just feels really hypocritical :P what with killing Death to save sam, sam letting the darkness out to save dean, not finising the trials to close hell's doors to save sam, etc etc etc. but oh you're gonna be mad at cas for doing the same thing (and with less time to decide aka no time/info) whatever, dude

DEAN Wow, this Benjamin seems like he's pretty cool, you know. Like he wouldn't make any half-cocked, knee-jerk choices. CASS Yeah, you know what I like about him? Is that he's sarcastic, but he's thoughtful and appreciative, too. DEAN Now what is that supposed to mean? SAM Okay, okay, the road, road. Dude, watch the road.

but i do always appreciate the episodes where they decide cas gets to have some personality other than clueless robot. snarky cas is my favorite

CASS Ishim said to come alone. He doesn't like humans. If I plan to do anything else stupid, I'll let you know.

tell him, cas

CASS I'm not a hero, but sometimes doing the right thing requires sacrifices. ISHIM True, but it just always seems that it's other angels sacrificing for your good deeds. Their wings, their lives. CASS Are you here to insult me or talk about Benjamin? ISHIM Can't we do both?

L O L

CASS These are my friends – my friends who don't listen very well.

sam hanging off the edge reminds me sitting 3 to a seat on the school bus 😂 dean, you ass. but also, cas scoot over, there's no way this booth is this small!

glad we got the little primer about benjamin being "he" but in a woman's vessel so now we can understand castiel being in this lady's body :p also the primer on nephilim to prepare for spawn of lucifer?

surprise surprise, shady angel is shady. sam gets to stay behind and relate to poor woman who's burning up her soul with angel magic, then she gets to freak him out saying dean's gonna die.

DEAN This Lily chick? Says that her daughter was human. I think Ishim… I think he's playing you.

apparently castiel has had the bad luck for a while

ISHIM Who are you gonna believe? Your brother, or some filthy ape who's always talking down to you, always mocking you. DEAN You know, Cass and I might not agree all the time, but at least he knows who his real friends are. CASS Why do his words bother you so much, Ishim? ISHIM Who is he to question my choices? Who is he to question yours? CASS Well, it seems that some of my choices may need to be questioned. Now tell me. The girl – was she human?

this is the cas i like to see! he's got spunk and fire and thoughts! not being woobified by the writers :p

ISHIM So now… I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own– – by cutting it out.

cutting out castiel's weakness by killing dean, like he killed who.. the daughter? i thought it was comparing his obsession with alicia witt but no she's still alive lol

DEAN I thought you were supposed to keep her out of this. SAM Yeah, I changed my mind. DEAN Good call.

cute

DEAN What Ishim said… You're not weak, Cass. You know that, right? SAM I mean, obviously, you've changed, but it's all been for the better, man. DEAN And you have been with us every step of this long, crazy thrill ride. And no matter how crazy it got, you never backed down.

i mean.... except for that time he betrayed y'all. but it's ok lol

SAM And that takes real strength. CASS Thank you. DEAN Cass, I don't like how the whole Billie thing went down. Okay? I know you think you were doing the right thing. And I'm not mad. I'm worried. Because things like “cosmic consequences” have a habit of biting us in the ass. CASS I know they do. But I don't regret what I did, even if it costs me my life. SAM Don't say that, man.

sweet reaction there by sam, that kind of kneejerk reaction to someone you care about talking that way. well, i'm glad they talked and smoothed things over quickly, as expected. thinking now how different the show must seem if you watch just the cas episodes. deep thoughts

(amused the past couple? wiki transcriptions have used cass instead of cas)

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 12x10 #hiky #spnhiky #alicia witt #cybill #steve yockey

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hummingbird-games · 7 months

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Dev Diaries

October 1, 2023

My goodness, it's the first devlog post-Crushed release!! How did that happen???

And where the heck has 2023 gone?!?! 🙃

Okay, pausing--for like four seconds--on the sillies, I've got some updates for y'all, so have a seat and get comfy.

Crushed updated build is out!!!

Now with the rest of the partial voice acting!!!

It was a super fun experience with the VA and I giggled a lot to hear the words I wrote spoken into existence. I think the next project I work on with voice work will also be partial. However, I can't imagine doing a whole game with full voice work. I can feel the mental break down from that possibility making its descent....

The postmortem was longer than I anticipated it to be, so it shall be posted separately (and with a read more for your scrolling needs) sometime! I go into (more) details on my inspiration and the process from hesitant idea, to jam entry, to a full-blown game, and all the heartbreak and burnout and catharsis in between!

You can also search 'gamedev rambles' or 'crushed vn' where I've already blabbed about Development Tingz LOL.

2. The HBG Twitter account has been nuked.

Yeah. Apologies if this is how you're finding out about it. I honestly have no idea where my audience is located as y'all are a quiet (but supportive) bunch. But for me as a player, it hurts because many of my peers are only on or are most active on Twitter.

However, me and the bird app have been at odds for a while so I guess it was just a matter of time... 🥲

3. Game Jam Gemini Mode

Alright, time to get serious-serious. (HA!)

While I was Fighting The Good Fight concerning getting Crushed up before the summer ended, I started dropping hints about the next project I wanted to work on with Yuri Jam (and Once Upon A Time jam) coming up.

Well. After giving it some thought, forcing myself to pause long enough to breathe, catching up on personal reading and other things, and again, giving it more thought: nope.

I could ignore this decision which I hate and push on anyway, but the consequences are not ones I want to deal with, nor will I be physically able to handle. (Yes, this is a direct reference to my health lol).

My plan about this time was to start reaching out to people and create a team--given that I banged out a script at lighting speed just so I knew what roles I needed and was prepared. I'm still not sure where that burst of frenzied energy came from, but it's gone now.

And then in between making Crushed live and getting the first voiced update done, I started to feel really weird. Like "Hello, Anxiety My Old Friend" weird. And I kept berating myself for dragging my feet, especially as Yuri Jam (and OUAT) are so 'chill' and 'easy-going' and why was I still freaking out? What was wrong with me???

Anyway, once the last voiced update went live, it hit me how utterly exhausted I was. Still am(?) So it's insane to think I was somehow going to have enough energy to lead a whole ass team to create one more project before the year ends. Even if said project was under 5k words.

Even as I write this saying I'm done, a part of me keeping scheming up ways to make it work.

But I wouldn't be doing it for the right reasons anyway (i.e. feeling like I should participate in more jams because every other developer is and I'm a bad indie dev if I don't, and feeling this desperation to prove I can tell other kinds of stories. ahahahaha)

A L S O I am broke 😂 And money talks louder than anything else!! This was the year--and continues to be the year-- of medical expenses and emergencies so like...gotta recover from that too.

The Knight Dance (my short Yuri idea) shall return, but next year at the earliest. And who knows? It might benefit from me not working on it now. Or that's what I'm telling myself so my brain will chill.

4. Tackling Ko-fi

I keep saying I'm going to start putting content on ko-fi, or posts, or something, and I keep proving to be a liar. That ends soon!

I've been playing around with the idea of adding both content for subs and one-time donators as well as free content, these things all exclusive to ko-fi. So there's an incentive to you guys to visit and an incentive for me to keep up with it.

There's a lot to the world of HSD/Crushed that just didn't make it into the games, and probably won't for a while, and then there are drabbles and longer stories that would be fun to write and share for anyone who's curious.

Okay!!!

In conclusion!!!

Go play Crushed!! Go support some game Kickstarters!! Go support a Pateron/Ko-fi of your fave creator!! Go replay some games!!

And watch this space for the Crushed postmortem and my yearly games & demos wrap up!!

And maaaaaaaybe catch me on the sideblog where I embody the cringe gamer girl I truly am???

~ Gemini

#gamedev #crushed vn #the knight dance #updates and rambles

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