Hang..

A Girl and a Ghost Ch. 2: Wandering the Trails

YAAYYYY I FINALLY GOT MY LAZY BUTT TO POST THIS

anyways, as promised i finally wrote a second chapter! i hope you enjoy it :)

@salamifuposey @monsterbride99 just lettin y’all know this exists sjjddkfkd srry for taggin yall so much hope u dont mind aa

It had been a few weeks after Jawaii had met Phantom, and she began to see him regularly. After her meeting with him, Phantom had secretly slipped a note in her pocket that had the lyrics of a special song. If she were to sing said song, he would arrive.

Some mornings, Jawaii would wake up feeling as if befriending Phantom was all a dream. Like it never even happened, it was all in her own mind. But alas it was not, luckily for her. They would explore the town and forests and just generally have fun with eachother.

Jawaii was discovering so many new feelings... feelings she had never really felt before finally having a best friend. Each one was just as wonderful than the last.

One morning, Jawaii ran to the forest, summoned Phantom and they began to talk about what they wanted to do for the day.

"So what do you wanna do today?" Jawaii asked eagerly.

"Hmm, I'm not entirely sure... but perhaps I could show you my homeland?" Phantom suggested.

"Ooh! What's your homeland like? I bet it's cool!"

"It's quite creepy, I'll admit, but it does have a nice atmosphere."

"AWESOME! Can you take me? Pleaaaase?" begged Jawaii.

Phantom chuckled. "Of course! Now stay close, I don't want you getting lost."

And so, they were on their way to Spooky Trails, Phantom's home. Jawaii kept constantly pestering Phantom on the way, asking if they were there yet. When they arrived, it was indeed quite a creepy place, but of course Jawaii didn't mind.

"Wow... so this is your home? You like, actually live here?" asked Jawaii.

"Indeed it is! Hopefully it doesn't creep you out too much though..." replied Phantom.

"Dude, are you kidding? This is the most amazing place EVER!" she yelled.

Phantom was a bit startled by Jawaii suddenly yelling. "Quiet down, you'll disturb the spirits. They don't like being disturbed." the ghost gently reminded.

"Oh. Sorry spirit people. You guys are super cool though!" Jawaii began to skip ahead, with Phantom catching his breath trying to catch up to her.

"You're quite a brave young girl, I'll say. Not scared of Spooky Trails, ghosts in general... it's quite a surprise! I never knew there was a human who enjoyed our company and wanted to befriend us... let alone a child!"

"Duh, of course I'm not scared of you. You're amazing! And I bet all the other ghosts are just as wonderful as you are." said Jawaii.

"Aww, why thank you! However... it's quite rare that humans actually want us around, you see. They're either terrified of us, see us as an annoyance, or want us gone."

Jawaii began to realize how much she had in common with Phantom. She knew he had told her something similar the day they had met, but she never knew that he too was hunted down and wanted dead.

"...Me, my siblings and my dad are all wanted dead. Just because we're "evil". We barely even hurt anybody... I know my dad destroys planets for a living, and I guess that can be seen as bad, bu-"

"Jawaii, dear, apologies for interrupting of course, and I don't see you any different or anything, don't worry, but your father does what now?" Phantom had never heard of such a thing. Annihilating planets for a job! Who would do something like that?

"He destroys planets for a living. Besides, Dad tells me it's an important job, because if there's too many planets the galaxy could get overpopulated and it would be bad." explained Jawaii.

"Ah... fair point actually."

Eventually they made it to a large gate. It had bars shaped like musical notes and a dial shaped like a full moon.

"This is the Moon Gate, beyond it lies my stage, where I reside." said Phantom.

"You live on a stage? That's really cool!"

Phantom smiled. "It's sort of the only "house" I have. I'm glad you enjoy the concept though!"

Jawaii ran up to the gate and pushed it, pressing her entire mass against it trying to open it.

"Why won't it open?!" Jawaii growled, frustrated.

Phantom effortlessly pushed the gate open with his hand. "There you go!"

"...WHAT?!" Jawaii stood there, staring at him with her jaw dropped. "How strong even ARE you?"

The ghost rabbit laughed quite a bit. "I'm the only one who can open the Moon Gate when it isn't a full moon, I'm not THAT strong, of course."

"Ohhhh. That makes sense." replied Jawaii.

They walked up the pathway that lead to the stage. It was an absolutely massive stage, but also looked quite old. The curtains were a torn and tattered, and the wooden floor looked very scratched up. There were strange blocks scattered everywhere, with seemingly no purpose. The place definitely looked like it had seen better days.

However, Jawaii adored it and stared in awe and wonder at it.

"Your house is awesome, Phantom!" said Jawaii, running off to explore the place.

"Thank you, my dear friend! It certainly isn't much, but make yourself at home."

Jawaii climbed up and down the pipes, examined all of the spotlights, and she even poked around in the wires despite Phantom begging her not to. Needless to say, she would have nearly electrocuted herself if it wasn't for Phantom.

He introduced her to many of the Peek-a-Boos and Spooky Trails Rabbids who also resided here. She enjoyed talking to them, and yet again, it felt so nice to have people treating her as if she wasn't a threat, just a normal child. She could never get enough of that feeling. It was so wonderful to her.

About an hour later, Jawaii sat down in boredom.

"I'm bored now." Jawaii mumbled.

"Well, we have been here for quite some time, so I could see why. Would you perhaps like to go somewhere else in Spooky Trails?" asked Phantom.

Jawaii's eyes lit up. "There's more of this place? Heck yeah I wanna go!"

Her eagerness made Phantom smile. "Well then, let's head off shall we?"

They crossed a bridge over a rushing river (which Jawaii threw a stick into), passed by a few giant jack-o-lanterns and fed some hungry crows a bit of (probably very stale) bread that they found. Then they came to an enormous manor, which looked abandoned and loomed over the forest.

But Phantom was very uneasy about this mansion.

"J-Jawaii, let's explore this mansion a for just a minute and then we'll turn back, all right?" said Phantom, his voice shaking.

"Wait, what's up? Are you all right?" asked Jawaii, with concern.

"I'm fine. Just... look around for a bit and we REALLY must go back. Besides, y-you must be hungry after all of this, we should get a snack!"

"...All right, if you say so."

Jawaii wandered around the front yard of the mansion. She picked some flowers, examined some mushrooms (she tried to eat one), and threw stones against the wall of the mansion.

Phantom floated up to her as she was throwing the stones against the wall. "...We really need to get going,"

"But wh-" Just as Jawaii was about ask why, she accidentally threw a stone straight into a window in the mansion. There was a loud shatter and a horrifying shriek. Phantom immediately jumped in front of her, hiding her behind his large, round body. A big, spherical ghost with a crown emerged from the wall of the manor. He had piercing, glowing purple eyes with a cruel, furious stare. He had sharp teeth, which were bared in fury.

His crown's jewel had a massive crack in it.

Oh my God. thought Jawaii, immediately realizing how reckless she had been.

"FIRST YOU TURN MY TROOPS AGAINST ME, AND NOW YOU DESTROY MY CROWN?!" the ghost with the crown shrieked. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS, YOU CRUEL, DISGUSTING FOOL. YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE TO ME."

Phantom quivered in terror, not knowing what to do other than to hide Jawaii behind him.

He gained the courage to speak. "I never turned them against you. I made them realize how horrible you treated them. If anything, YOU'RE the cruel one."

Jawaii knew she had to do something too. She couldn't just stand here and let the only friend she had possibly be harmed, or far, far worse.

She went out from behind Phantom. "I destroyed your crown." Jawaii said, staring the crowned ghost in the eye.

"J-Jawaii, no...!"

"WHO IS THIS LITTLE BRAT?! AND WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS, GOING AND DOING THIS TO I, KING BOO, THE RULER OF THE UNDEAD?" King Boo screamed.

"If you must know, she is my friend. And she is not a brat, you demonic marshmallow." said Phantom, still quaking, but trying to be brave.

Phantom's insult just made the king even more angry.

"ANGRY MARSHMALLOW? LOOK WHO'S TALKING, YOU OVERINFLATED BLIMP OF A RABBIT!" he screeched.

Jawaii came a bit closer to King Boo. "HEY! Nobody insults my best friend like that, you ugly hag!"

"...What did you just call me, you little DIRT GOBLIN?"

"You heard me loud and clear."

Unable to come up with any witty comebacks or clever responses, King Boo angrily sputtered out, "ALL RIGHT YOU TWO PESTS, GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU BOTH REGRET IT."

Without hesitation, Phantom picked Jawaii up off the ground and flew off with her.

King Boo angrily cursed under his breath and went back inside his mansion, plotting his revenge on the ghost Rabbid and the young alien.

Mario Thread Opinions

I saw something making rounds on Twitter featuring Mario characters, so, I wanted to respond to that, but without flooding the timeline.

So, I’ll put them here instead! ...And I’ll try to keep thoughts short...

... ... ...

Original Tweeted Characters

Mario: He’s such a cheerful and happy protagonist! I don’t get why people ever have strong dislikes for him. He’s full of energy and normally kindness. Maybe they think that’s bland, but I’ve been following Mario’s journeys since I was very young, so he’ll always be a great protagonist for me.

Toadette: She’s so energetic and sweet! She’s come such a long way since her debut from Mario Kart: Double Dash, and currently, Toadette seems to be a regular mainstay for the franchise. You’re doing amazing, sweetie! Keep going!

Dry Bones: One of the cutest zombies and/or reanimated dead characters that I can think of. While a tricky enemy to handle, I still enjoy seeing them. Plus, they’re welcome additions to spin-off games like almost always!

Shy Guy: The beeeeest! Shy Guy is the cutest little enemy, and I love how they get included into various roles as either friend or foe. I think I’m always happy to see Shy Guy around in some way!

Pink Gold Peach: Peach deserves a cool power-up form! While I wish she had it outside of spin-off titles, I think it’s a cute concept regardless. (Though, I get the disappointment when she shows up.) People mention “rose gold” as a title instead, and I think I agree with that, but also, alliteration.

Peachette: (deep, heavy sigh) You could have been so fun conceptually...the potential for future uses that could be dramatic with bait-and-switches for Peach. But...marred by Internet memes...also, not a fan that Toadette gets replaced on-screen by Peach in the first place, so, yeah.

King Boo: This dude has so many change-ups in how he appears. I kind of love him as both a Mario enemy and a Luigi’s Mansion main boss. He makes a good adversary for Luigi, so, I hope he sticks around to spook the cast! Love his laugh too, lol.

Daisy: She deserves so much love and attention, and I don’t understand why the developers at Nintendo have kept her locked behind spin-off titles for so long. I feel like that could change going forward, so I’m hoping that she becomes even more awesome and help save the day in future adventures!

Peach: Arguably the most iconic damsel in modern media, though I wish we could let her evolve past that. Peach is strong in her own right, so let’s see her headline a franchise and save the day herself! She doesn’t get opportunity to do that enough. She can be more than just Mario’s plot device. Anyway, she’s great, and I wish she would get more respect from Nintendo. She could make the Disney princesses shudder if given the chance.

Yoshi: Quite possibly the cutest steed known to pop culture! He’s so sweet and precious, like, I feel as though no one can help but love Yoshi. Anytime he pops in and the moment immediately improves!

Luigi: As a younger sibling myself, I totally can relate to Luigi easily. He’s the best deuteragonist that Mario could ask for! His fans can sometimes be a little much, but I can understand the enthusiasm! Luigi’s a good boy. Nintendo should dunk on him less though; he’s proven well enough.

Hammer Bro: Bah, an enemy that always keeps me wary! Probably one of the biggest common enemies that is practically guaranteed to be at least a light challenge. As they appear in more spin-off games, I like their energy and excitement more. They’re fun dudes!

The Koopalings: No clue how they were kept dormant for so many years, because they provide so much flavor to the series! Then again, it’s painful to see any of them separated from one another, and including seven characters can be a challenge. Overall, I love them, and they make great opponents and even additions to rosters! Best generals, I think.

Kamek: I know that the name isn’t supposed to be significant, but he ended up being so. And I really wish we would get a version of Kamek that stands out from the other Magikoopa! His role seems too important to be neglected as often as it can be. Definitely the coolest standalone enemy on Bowser’s minion roster, and I hope they keep helping this one stand out more in the future!

Waluigi: He’s pretty funny, and he can sucker a few laughs out of me time and again. I think that he’s underrated by the Mario franchise itself, and that he should appear more often or join Wario for his franchise. His loudest fans are definitely a bit too rambunctious. Still, he’s been around for 20 years, and I do agree that he probably deserves better.

Rosalina: Definitely a cool character that I really hope we keep in rotation. She should be used for more than just spin-off shenanigans without question, so I hope that we see her more as time goes on. (She almost joined Odyssey in a cool appearance!) Anyway, I love her motherly and calm yet elegant nature, and the lore that she gave to Super Mario Galaxy as well. Luma princess!

Bowser: As Mario is one of my favorite protagonists, Bowser would be one of my favorite antagonists! Though, I do wish he’d get a break. He’s a fun character without always being evil. We should give other villains a chance to go crazy and let Bowser do something else, either helping Mario or just living life without being the big bad. He’s sometimes more interesting being just a dad above all else!

Piranha Plant: Plant gang rise up! Not going to lie, one of the most iconic Mario enemies to appear, and yet, I feel like they’ve been slept on until their recent inclusions in games as playable characters, most especially in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Great surprise trap enemies too. Overall, love these chompy dudes! ...Except when they chomp me, that is, ha!

Metal Mario: Probably one of Mario’s coolest power-up forms! He’s appeared in several spin-offs as a playable character, starting with Mario Golf for the N64, if I’m not mistaken. While I prefer him as a power-up, he’s a fun concept to see turn up every so often.

Whomp King: An iconic opponent in Super Mario 64, and one that I’m surprised to see turn up every so often! Yet, I’m also surprised that we don’t see him more often as well. It’s odd, but then again, Whomps can be underutilized. I like him though!

Wario: Greedy guy supreme! Wario is perhaps the grossest Mario character, but also one of the funniest. He’s usually a welcome addition to the rosters that he joins, so, I like to see him around too. His laugh is hilarious and definitely one of the more recognizable out there!

Dry Bowser: Bowser’s reanimated corpse! Originally a cool concept and perhaps even a surprising one! Since I like Dry Bones, I tend to like this dude, even when he’s not exactly Bowser himself sometimes, since that happens. Either way, cool and creepy, so totally a unique flavor!

Pom Pom: Honestly, not an addition that I ever expected, but totally welcomed alongside Boom Boom’s return to the franchise. I love her shuriken attacks and ninja theme, because I’m a sucker for that. And more female creature features are always welcome to roster! Not every lady needs to be a princess, after all.

King Bob-omb: I love him! He’s arguably my favorite boss from Super Mario 64, and I’m so happy that he’s been popping up more frequently. He’s finally playable for the first time in Mario Kart: Tour, so I hope he appears as such in future titles! His mustache deserves greatness!

Toad: I have literally always had a huge soft-spot for the Mushroom Kingdom citizens. Also, I feel like Toad should be recognized as an individual as much as Yoshi is! He’s cheerful, helpful, sweet, and usually so helpful! Plus, I totally crush it when I use him in Mario Kart, lol. One of my favorites as well, and I consider him as part of the core cast!

Bob-omb: Who knew living explosives could be so...cute? I can’t deny that I delight in seeing them, even though they usually terrorize me whenever they’re around. Totally love to see them included, as they’re great inclusions.

Boo: Spooky time! I love seeing Boo, they’re fun. Also, horrifying to face off against, since they’re not usually the easiest to defeat. They’re cute though, and I love to listen to their cackles and trills! Also wonderful inclusions, both in the main Super Mario games and hilariously so in Luigi’s Mansion. (I love their titles and names in those games!)

Bowser Jr.: While his existence should raise questions, mostly concerning how, I tend to hand wave that as easily as Nintendo does. I love that Bowser has a bratty kid, it’s so entertaining to me! And it’s precious, because I really enjoy seeing Bowser having a soft spot for his son. Junior himself is enjoyable to see too, because he’s a pint-sized enemy with lots of personality!

Pauline: That’s my girl! That’s my girl right there, whoo! I’m so deliriously happy that she’s returned in the greatest form, from nameless damsel to major city mayor! And now she’s regularly included for Mario franchise casts by the fans and the developers. She deserves it, and I hope we continue to see Pauline appear all the time in the future! Get it, One-Up Girl!

Baby Daisy: A cute baby bean, and a logical companion for Baby Peach! Not usually a character that I favor, but I don’t mind her. The scariest kiddo on the racetrack, that I’ve learned.

Petey Piranha: It makes sense that the Piranha Plants have a boss leader, since Bowser is that for the Koopas, and then we have such for Bob-ombs, Whomps, Boos, and the others. Anyway, the sludge stuff is gross, but I do love to see Petey! He’s actually sort of cute with his little utters of “yay!” in spin-offs. Plus, he’s usually a fun flavor of boss to battle!

Lakitu: Honestly, I forget that these dudes are supposed to be bad guys; they’re usually so friendly and helpful! And I think I prefer them that way overall. But, they do make challenging opponents when they’re not helpers, so that is fun to see from time to time. Totally a great mainstay to the roster either way!

Baby Rosalina: Like, I do get the idea of her, but at the same time, she’s more or less a walking contradiction, more than Bowser Jr. or the other babies by far. She is cute though, and I guess we’re not meant to think about it.

Koopa Troopa: Basically Bowser’s equivalent to Toad, and I don’t think that’s a comparison that’s addressed often enough. Like, they’d be great to make Bowser’s forces more sympathetic. Anyway, I like them as enemies, though I tend to see them as helpers fairly often too, since that’s how they’ve appeared over the years. Totally a great mainstay!

Boomerang Bro: As if their hammer throwing cousins weren’t bad enough, we get these dudes to battle from time to time. They’re tricky but cool variations on classic opponents. And I think I enjoy seeing them when we have big cast herds for the spin-off Mario titles.

Bullet Bill: Fear. These guys just come flying out of cannons and my instinct just shifts into fight-or-flight. I love them appearing, but I’m always wary of the challenges they normally present. Also, similar to Bob-omb with the whole, “who knew living artillery could be cute?” Because I know it’s Mario, but geez.

Baby Luigi: The baby bro! He’s a fun alternate option for Baby Mario to rescue, and cute to see included from time to time in spin-off titles. Though, I think his best appearance was Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time.

Banzai Bill: The developers went, “Hey, know what’s scary than a big bullet chasing you down? How about a MEGA DEATH BULLET that destroys everything in its wake? Let’s even give it a creepy slasher-grinning face!” And nobody really questioned that. Utterly horrifying to battle (or just run from), but cool conceptually, so I like the enemy inclusion.

Buzzy Beetle: They’re such lowkey baddies that I actually love. Like, there’s even a sinister hint to them with the glowing red eyes and everything! Totally underrated as opponents, and I enjoy their appearances whenever they’re around.

Baby Mario: The leader of the bunch, and you know him...wait a minute. Anyway, he’s a fun character concept, and I like the idea of exploring characters at different points of their lives! It’s cute to see Mario was thrown into heroics since basically birth, and Baby Mario’s usually entertaining to see around, even though we should really question the lacking moral/ethic decisions of letting babies drive go-karts and playing sports.

Goomba: The number one low-level grunt of all-time! At least, I think so. They’re such fun enemies to see included almost all of the time. It’s fun how they’re normally super easy to fight, but can be surprising challenges in various appearances too. Simple conceptually, yet really diverse in use! Overall, one of the best baddies out there!

Thwomp: Floating death trap extraordinaire! These dudes are utterly terrifying to be anywhere near, most especially under. I tend to remember them for the blocky blue forms used during the N64 era, but I think that’s the less iconic form. Still, they’re great trap enemies for sure, with a great slamming grunt to boot!

Captain Toad: While I’m not entirely sure if he’s meant to be separate from the Toad we know, I treat him that way. Plus, it’s fun to have a light-hearted version of Wario’s treasure hunter role used, and one that actually provides aid to Mario on his adventures! Plus, a hero in his own right. A great character indeed!

Wiggler: Instead of chanting “don’t be suspicious,” it’s “don’t wake the wormy” for me. This crazy caterpillar is full of anxiety inducing moments for sure, but on the cuter side too. Also, shout-out to the Flutter form! Anyway, they make a fun enemy, and it’s fun when they go from passive to aggressive!

Cheep Chomp: I really can’t deny that I’m surprised that this was included for an opinion list. Anyway, bigger and scarier fish enemies are always a good fright to include, so, why not? I like the purple version too.

Baby Peach: The original baby princess, which is weird to mention, given that I never expected more than one to appear or matter. Anyway, she’s a cute companion for Baby Mario and has her own baby princess posse, so...yeah.

Boom Boom: These dudes were always such cool enemies in Super Mario Bros. 3, so I’m really glad they came back into newer games! I love seeing them appear more in spin-offs lately too, they’re entertaining options to shuffle in with the cast now and again. Fun to face off against too; normally easy, but can be tougher too!

Cheep Cheep: Fishy! It’s weird how they can be so cute, and yet they’re so dangerous, since one bite cuts you down to size. But yeah, I like them as basic aquatic enemies!

Blooper: These troublesome dudes...they can chase you, tentacle smack you, and ink you in the face! That last one never used to be a problem in kart racing, but they totally improved over the years. Good enemy. But, also? A really, really cute spin-off character! I kind of love seeing them appear in other titles as playable characters. Especially in Mario Tennis Aces. Their voices are so cute!

Whomp: Really weird to see them included so far from their king. But anyway! Cool enemies, totally underrated compared to their Thwomp cousins, and I like to see them turn up now and again. They make fun guards, most commonly utilized in the Mario Party series. They’re fun enemies and deserve more love!

Additional Characters That I Like Too

Birdo: The disrespect at people never including my girl...shameful! Anyway, I love Birdo a lot. She’s pretty cute and should totally be included way more often than she is. And she pairs so nicely with Yoshi, that’s so perfect! Plus, she’s probably the earliest trans character that I was ever introduced to, and/or consciously aware of. Anyway, I love her, so there.

Toadsworth: Why does he get so neglected over the years? I thought he was a great inclusion for Peach’s staff, and yet, he’s diminishing so frequently over the years for some reason. Anyway, he was a very entertaining character, made a great equivalent to Kamek, and I wish he’d be used more frequently.

Donkey Kong: Not going to lie, I tend to not include him in Mario cast calls a lot too, since he just feels comparatively detached to other characters. That’s so weird for someone that basically helped kick off Nintendo’s main franchise. Anyway, I love him a lot, even if I don’t show it much. He’s a cool kong, and doesn’t need to be the king to prove it!

Chain Chomp: The bark and chain rattle of sheer terror. I love these guys though! They’re so cute! And dangerous. But cute! Whether being used as a baby’s weapon of mass destruction in racing, or as another avid tennis player, Chain Chomps are just delightful to have around.

Wart: Yeah, not really expected to be included. But, I like Wart from Super Mario Bros. 2, and he’s basically my new character to campaign for since Pauline made it back from the yester-years already. Wart has great potential to be an alternative to Bowser, or even just a fun character to include, so, I hope that we see him come back to the Mario franchise in the future some day!

Nabbit: This pesky thief actually stands out well enough to me, probably because he’s included as a playable pick in the New Super Mario Bros. games from time to time. Anyway, an oddball of sorts, but pretty cute to see pop up from time to time! Maybe he’ll be kept in rotation for future spin-offs...we’ll see!

Monty Mole: Perhaps a more forgettable enemy, but I think they’re entertaining and rather unique ground enemies! Also, I enjoy their Rocky Wrench cousins. But yeah, I felt these dudes deserved a special mention too!

Diddy Kong: Although I typically don’t consider Diddy a Mario character, he’s appeared so often enough that he should be. I like him as Donkey Kong’s go-to partner, and he’s fairly cute too!

Tatanga: Look, if Wart doesn’t work out, then I’m rallying behind Super Mario Land’s Tatanga. Plus, if we get more Daisy, we might as well get an enemy to go along with, or rather against, her. Who better than this little dude? ...Though, I kind of like the bulky version from the comics more. Then again, it’s less expected for a tiny guy to be a main bad guy, so, he’d work either way. Another fun alternate for Bowser, so he can have a break, and Mario gets more enemies!

Fire Bro: I saw the Boomerang Bro and was kind of expecting this dude to show up too. Normally easier to handle than their weapon tossing cousins, at least for me, but they’re challenging enough too. Another fun variation inclusion for big roster herds.

Spike: You know, I recall the Paper Mario version known as Clubba best. But anyway, I like these dudes, and I’m enjoying seeing them appear more often in newer spin-off titles. They’re cute! And they provide strong diversity for Bowser’s usual forces.

Luma: How did we not see these little fellows in the main set? They’re so adorable, I love seeing them all the time now! Definitely one of the coolest races to come from the Mario games, totally fitting for the franchise, and I love seeing them appear basically whenever they do. They’re so cute!

Rex: The retro Super Mario World enemy that’s rather squishy and most commonly forgotten. I think they work nicely as an evil equivalent to Yoshi, at least in appearance. It’s honestly strange that they’re so underrated and underutilized by the franchise; they’re pretty cool!

Ninji: Little ninja-like minions from Super Mario Bros. 2 that appear sparingly across the Mario series. Another enemy that I feel is super underrated and totally has potential for inclusion in spin-off games or just as a more frequent opponent like Rexes should be.

Koopa Paratroopa: Kind of included with Koopa Troopa above, but I like to see Paratroopa distinguished, since they normally tend to be, even among flying enemies. Plus, they’re common inclusions to the Mario spin-off titles, so it’s weird to pass over them. Anyway, I like these winged menaces too!

Professor E. Gadd: Speaking of underused characters and E. Gadd should totally pop up there. I like that he’s a Luigi’s Mansion mainstay, but I miss the days where he was slowly branching out in other titles, perhaps most notably in the Mario & Luigi series, but he’s also the reason that Mario had FLUDD in Super Mario Sunshine! I wonder why he’s not included more frequently; even if not playable, he makes sense just being used in some capacity.

Spiny: Lakitu’s little monsters that rain terror from the skies and onto the ground! Perhaps one of tougher baddies to battle with, but I like to see them, since they’re pretty iconic. Even without being Lakitu’s minions, they’re still plenty tough for Mario to battle against. Plus, they’re kind of cute? We should see a blue variation some day though, so that way we all know who to hammer on for all of those Mario Kart horror stories...

Cappy: Since this is being posted on the 3rd anniversary for Super Mario Odyssey, I’ll give him an additional inclusion. After all, Cappy is probably one of Mario’s best companions for a 3-D Mario title to ever be included, easily surpassing FLUDD and Baby Luma / Co-Star Luma. I hope he’s not left to be forgotten as the years go by, because he had plenty of personality and flavor that really made the adventure even more entertaining, and a great concept to engage with the game play, so, here’s to Cappy!

... ... ...

Phew. Anyway, these are just some thoughts on Mario franchise characters! There sure are a lot of them, huh? Probably too many to count if we really dig through the series, that’s for sure!

That’s all from me though, at least for this. Thank you for reading!

Digging your tabletop pride icons! I like the filter effect they have! :-) Do you by any chance have a textpost of the characters and their sexual orientations/gender identities? I recognise some of your characters, but not all of them, and there are pride flags I've never seen before, so I'd like to learn more. :-)

well thank you. it was just a bit of photoshop work.

i do not have a list of that made up yet...so lets do that now lol

let me preface this though with two points.; 1) i am 1 of 2 females who play regularly in my dnd group of 6 (sometimes 7) people, the other is Dixon. so i am usually the only female in the party itself. i have only ever played 2 (and a half) male characters in the 6/7 years i’ve been playing; every other male character i do in my tabletop group arts are story characters, not player characters. i am also 1 of 2 (sometimes 3) people in the group under 40. romance isn’t really a big part of our storytelling...no matter how hard i try to put it back in there ^^; 2) i identify as quoisexual myself, so all my characters have that to some degree in them just because i’m the player and you bleed into your characters that way. i also use goggle as a helpful tool to learn about all the different identities, so my knowledge and interpretation is fallible.

ok so list now;

Paige-Cupioromantic, meaning does not feel attraction, but desires that type of relationship i went with this, because Paige....well...is Paige lol. as one player once said “it feels wrong trying to date her, because she acts so young and innocent” and to be fair, she isn’t really out here looking at people as romantic partners. she wants friends, she loves her friends. also you know, mortal embodiment of an eldritch horror terror, so...

Cizma-Fraysexual, meaning has strong attraction until a relationship is formed and then the attraction fades she’s the opposite of Paige, and this is mostly based on her “relationship” with InkShade honestly; she believes she’s madly in love with him, but he refuses her, so she pursues him more. i think if he gave into hr advances and reciprocated, she’d realized her feelings weren’t what she thought they were. i admit, this one’s new to me so my interpretation could be very wrong, but that’s how i feel it fits Cizma.

Ada-Quoisexual, meaning has trouble distinguishing between romantic and sexual attraction as i said above, my default is this, so if i don’t know a character’s leanings it’s their too (yes jelena is my icon and is this too fyi). BUT in fairness, it suits Ada because of how she was raised; she has very little idea how to properly people here. and she is developing some sort of a relationship with Til. also, her first dice bag was my pride bag with this flag.

Gauzra-Lithoromantic, meaning has desires of attraction, but does not want them reciprocated again, kind of supposed to be in opposite to Ada, and seeing as i still don’t know Gauzra’s personality this could change...but from my interpretation of her right now, this feels right. plus the flag goes with her color scheme.

Rosalba-Demisexual, meaning does not feel attraction until a strong bond is formed at the time i was playing Ro, this was how i identified primarily, but it still suits her i think. if you met Rico after meeting her, you would never know WHY they were a couple, but those two kinda fought against two life times to be together (three if you count the accent into godhood). Ro’s also never been good at getting close to people, but once she did, you’re stuck with her.

K’nessan-Nonbinary, meaning does not identify with a binary gender scale; Marsic, meaning is attracted to masculine qualities ok, ok, *technically* since Ness is a hermaphrodite they should be inter-sexed BUT they do prefer the gender neutral pronouns (followed by the masc; never use “it/that’ or you will die)...and their color scheme matches the flag, so... ^^; i also included in the list the Marsic because Ness does have a preference for male partners

Nemo-Asexual, meaning has no desires for attraction Nemo is nothing but a hero, so that pretty much screamed ace to me...plus it matched her color scheme

Mekala-Aromantic, meaning has no desire for attraction i wasn’t really sure about her, since you know 2 failed campaigns in a row didn’t give her much room to grow, but i could see this working. she’s not really looking for anything, more searching her past. 

Jass-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females Jass is my sabretooth, so my sabretooth headcanons are canon for her lol. we only saw her have a relationship with fantasy!Deadpool in the game she was played, but hey

Tesla-Electio Aroace, meaning has no desire for attraction, whether sexual, romantic, or tertiary  i admit, this one is completely new to me, so my interpretation could be very wrong, but the idea that this is one that is uninterested in any form of attraction suits my viral android very well. again, she has gone on record saying that “the biological imperative for emotions is distractive” (more or less) which is especially funny since she was played in a valentines game where the goal was to let Cupid infect a town with horniness to make babies; Tesla was the only one unaffected and actively trying to stop that. so yeah.

Theo-Pansexual, meaning is attracted to any gender yeah, Theo’s just out there doing and being anything

Sean-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females; he however has a stronger male preference i admit, one reason why Sean is bi and not just gay is for the “half and half” joke...but yeah, he started the game with a boyfriend, he would kill everyone for his boyfriend, he woudl die for his boyfriend.

Vitanya-Gynosexual, meaning attracted to feminine qualities still learning new things as we do this, but since Vita has had little development (but will be getting more) i’m kinda aiming to have her be a bit more into girls...we’ll see how that pans out

Lokaj-Androsexual, meaning attracted to masculine qualities originally i had him as something else, but when i saw that description i liked it better, since he ended up with Arkos and all

Arkos-Transgender, meaning identifies with a different physical gender than the one assigned at birth; Gay, meaning attracted to men going more off the latest version here than my previous one for this. but yeah, he’s just straight up trans here, not intersexed, and his tribe is cool with it. plus being a tribe means not enough money to get magic to physically change anything...but he’s ok with that. in his tribe it’s less what you have and more how to act.

Rikkar-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females mainly because he did have a fiance...even though they weren’t super into the idea, they weren’t against it either...but he’s far more into Ark

Tarn-Lesbian, meaning attracted to women she has been a loud raging lesbian since day one, and nothing will ever change that. not even one continuity having her in a forced, bested in trial by combat, marriage to Starlord basically. she will only go for a dude if he’s a dragon...and he’s gotta be a hot dragon...and even then it win’t lasting dude.

Reyzah-Abrosexual, meaning one’s attraction is constantly changing or fluid Reyzah started as a knock-off tarn honestly and never got to thrive too much. but compared to her siblings, she was always the one learning and trying to figure herself out, so this fits well.

Margus-gay, meaning attracted to men Margus, similarly to his sister, started off as quiet nervous gay, and by the end of the adventure he had himself a doppleganger husband and confidence to boot, so yeah, my baby boy grew up good. admittedly a lot of his self-confidence issues were more from his half-orc heritage, BUT that fed into the “no one would wanna date me cause i suck” mentality. so yeah.

Nikkos-Asexual, meaning feels no desire for attraction he’s Margus’ twins, and was always intended to be some sort of ace. the joke being the Ironbrood kids are a full set; likes girls, likes guys, figuring things out, likes doughnuts. i waffled over making him a more defined type though...but since i’ve only played him for like one session as a background character, i’m not sure where he’s at. so general ace is fine. he loves and supports his siblings, and is best uncle to Margus’ kids anyways, so s’all good.

Jelena-Quoisexual, meaning has trouble distinguishing between romantic and sexual attraction i know i said up in Ada’s that Jelena was this too, but here i am saying it again since she’s my actual icon and not in the reffed to image set. i haven’t played her, so this could change...but i’m very self projecting on her during quarantine to begin with, so yeah she’s quoi until proven otherwise ^^;

so hope you found this informative...and that my information isn’t too terribly off ^^;;;

Happy fanfic plot chats with fandom friends!

Regarding my 2003 TMNT SAINW AU WIP where Michelangelo vanishes for twenty years:

"I am not sure if it has already been suggested, but what if another factor for Raph’s falling out with his brothers in 'Ever the Same' is the death of Mrs Morrison? Maybe her cat is one of the earliest ones he takes in?"

Like... we've already established that Mikey's disappearance causes Raph to go wild with emotion and frustration, and Klunk's strange death shortly after Mikey's disappearance spurs Raph into action that involves finding an abandoned school, turning it into a cat hospital, and spending the next two decades raising Klunk's descendants - as well as the descendants of other cats.

My heart. @diploglottis might as well be writing this fic (and "Shattered Light") along with me. I heart you, Diplo.

Also, I was just in the TMNT tags reading a fantastic character analysis of 2003 Raphael, one that further boosts my desire to turn into him into his lost brother's Cat Lady Keeper.

Anyway!

Remember a few years ago when I admitted that I spent the entire run of the 2003 series worried that Raph actually hurt Mikey and that those head slaps were harmful? I never grew up with siblings, and most of the friends I had with siblings either fully adored their siblings or genuinely went through real abuse - physical scars and emotional trauma. I still actually have issues because of a guy who was a lot like Raph except he actually regularly beat the shit out of his kid brother on purpose.

So for over a decade I had very little world experience with sibling rivalry that was "healthy wrassling" rather than outright terror that made the younger sibling leave the family. Even in the tags here, with 2012, there's extraordinary discourse. Personally? Yes, I think 2012 Raph absolutely hurt Mikey when he didn't have to, which doesn't negate the love and care, just like 2012 Splinter being weirdly negligent of Mikey didn't negate the good things he did. Family can be two ways with each other, and it's so weird to see 2012 fans defending Splinter using his willingness to die as ultimate proof of his love while ignoring the fact that he often wasn't that great with his individual kids. He stumbled as a parent. The family dynamics wasn't great. Raph hit Mikey. Splinter let Mikey slip under his radar. The writing wasn't great. We as fans sigh heavily, grumble, rant on our blogs, write massive essays, and ultimately accept it and make a bunch of AU stories to project our headcanons onto one way or another.

The fandom isn't really toxic the way other fandoms are, it's just made up of mostly people under age forty with A Lot Of Feelings who lash out at each other when they feel defensive over canon. I mean, obviously. Some older person with a psychoanalysis hat telling you that your beloved characters reflected behavior that was easily read as manipulative or sshh abusive is painful.

Thirty years in this fandom means seeing patterns and cycles of discourse. It means having to literally say "It's okay, you can write your own version of the canon story, that's literally why fanfiction exists." Took me until the late 2000s to figure out that there were categories like Canon Divergent and Fix-It. I didn't know "What If" was called Alternate Universe and I used to call ficlets "Scenes From [Alternate Universe or Canon Divergent Story That Will Never Actually Be Written Because I Just Wanted To Write The Good Parts]." I'm still learning. I may be an Old Fan from Old Times but I still have a bunch to learn. However, I'm very good at finding patterns. And the TMNT fandom follows very familiar cyclical patterns. It's comforting.

Point is, the 2003 4Kids series had a really really good portrayal of brotherhood, and for me it's like a whole new study of psychoanalysis now that I see more nuances than my younger self. And it appears that my own fic writing reflects that subconsciously.

For @astronycto! Have some fluffy pinescone goodness to keep you warm during these cold winter months ;)

According to Greg, Wirt is a habitual procrastinator. If Wirt had argued when that inaccurate assessment of his character was announced- Which he didn’t, because he’s recently been trying to let small things slide. He’s been practicing this so that when something big happens, his reaction can be taken at least somewhat seriously. Unfortunately, in this attempt of escaping his dramatic label, his pushover one has been rewritten in bolded lettering.

But, if he had argued, he would have pointed out that he has not procrastinated once in his entire lifetime, ever. Does Wirt sometimes spend more time planning and fleshing out a project than he does actually doing said project? Yes. Always, in fact.

This is because meticulously perfecting every little detail of an assignment, or a task, or- or a proposal , if you will, is by absolutely no means on the same level as procrastinating. It’s on the opposite end of the scale, really; A commendable pastime rather than a pathetic one.

It’s this exact line of logic that has led Wirt to devoting over six months of his life devising the right way to ask Dipper Pines to go on a date with him.

The door to his room abruptly starts to open, sending Wirt into an unproductive spiral of full blown panic.

He should be trying to make a lightspeed decision of whether or not to attempt to hide the countless papers covered in humiliating plans of romantic seduction that surround him on his bed. Or grab his wand, in case of the rare event of him remembering a useful spell. Jump out the window, maybe. Instead, he hyperventilates and sits paralyzed atop of his comforter.

“Woof,” Sarah expresses upon her rebellious and uninvited entry into his dorm, “Getting an early start on your homework? That’s not like you.”

Wirt suavely wheezes in response.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve given me the speech before,” She rolls her eyes, plopping down on the bed across from him and sending parchment flying, “ No girls in the boys dormitories, it’s against the school rules, blah blah, I don’t want people to think things. I hate to be the one to break this to you dude, but in order for people to assume that we’re hooking up, they’d have to believe that you’re straight. No one’s thought that since we were eleven.”

Wirt’s temples grow damp as Sarah’s gaze lands on one of the now crumpled papers by her crossed legs, “I could love a woman.”

She thankfully looks up at that, eyebrows waggling, “But could you love her right ?”

He swallows, fidgeting with the quill between his fingers, “Was… Was that innuendo?”

“You’re starting to catch on,” She grins, leaning in Wirt’s direction to deliver what he guesses to be a pat on his knee or some sort of friendly gesture to that effect.

He guesses wrong, of course, because Lady Luck has never sided with him once and he should really have learned that lesson by now-

Sarah stealthily snatches up one of the papers closest to him and darts over to the far side of his room, eyes scanning the page with a fierce quickness.

With his face ablaze, Wirt emits a short cry of outrage, jumping to his feet and chasing her down with long strides that are the one positive thing his gangly legs are dependable for. He tears the paper out of her villainous clutches, manners be damned, and aims an affronted look her way.

“Are they on the quidditch team?” She questions, her words stumbling over each other in their rush to get out before Wirt can admonish the unspeakably rude behavior.

“What?” He blurts, voice reaching an embarrassingly high pitch that he will never admit to being capable of.

“Quidditch,” She repeats, expression so suddenly somber that Wirt can’t help but momentarily forget his anger, “Do they play?”

He blinks, rapidly, “ Um. They- No-”

Sarah screams, the joyous tone of the shout not doing a thing to help Wirt feel less horrified. On the contrary, dread and terror are seeping into his bones quite spectacularly.

“What? What? What ? What are- Are you-?!”

She grabs both of his shoulders with her talon-like fingers and squeezes, hard enough that Wirt both shuts up and winces. A second cry of delight is released directly into his face.

“Pines?” She squeals, pointedly shaking the paper in Wirt’s grip while simultaneously draining all color from his face, “I’ve been the Hufflepuff mascot for years; I know all of the players on every team by name- Mabel Pines is a Gryffindor chaser, and she has a brother! ‘I could love a woman’ my ass- Oh my god, is this what you’ve been obsessing over forever? I can’t believe you have a real crush-!”

He claps a trembling, probably sweaty hand over her mouth, uncaring of the potential grossness in that moment, “Sorry, but can you speak up a little please? There might be a few people in Hogsmeade who missed that.”

Practically vibrating with elation, Sarah peels the hand off of her mouth to beam at him.

“Sorry,” She whispers, looking everything but, “You should tell him.”

Wirt scoffs, hands awkwardly fumbling in midair before landing in the intended gesture to the parchment littering his bedspread and the floor around the area, “Yes, well, what do you think I’m doing?”

The smile drops from her face, replaced with a look of something resembling pinched pity, “Oh no. You’re doing… that thing you do.”

“Uh,” He takes an unsure step away from her, scrabbling for a response, “Wh- What thing? I don’t have a thing.”

“You do. This thing,” Sarah frowns, crossing her arms and then chewing her lip, “… I’ll have to take action. You understand.”

He shakes his head, desperately, mouth going dry, “No, I don’t. I really, really-”

Her horribly stubborn mind made up, she snatches the paper yet again and sprints out of the room, ignoring the several squawks of protest that follow her out the door.

Wirt doesn’t go after her, simply out of fear of what gossip could come from someone seeing him chasing down a girl running out of his dorm. Sarah, the cunning hellion, probably knows this.

With a final, unsatisfying noise of annoyance/agony, he throws himself on both his mattress and the incriminating parchment, bemoaning every choice he’s made that’s led him up to this point. In doing so, his dramatic label returns in an even louder font than before.

Sarah expertly avoids him for almost two weeks. Not an easy feat, considering how many class periods they share.

He would like to report that the issue has completely slipped from his mind and that he’s occupied himself with schoolwork and the like. He would love to.

As it is, with each day that passes by without incident, Wirt’s anxiety over the matter unhelpfully and unhealthily multiplies. He’s little more than a low-functioning skin sack overflowing with crippling angst at this point.

Today is hopefully going to pour out at least a portion of the potent unease filling his- him- He’s lost the metaphor, but he has not lost the cautious optimism brought on by the Quidditch match starting in mere minutes.

He is not a sports man himself, true. It is also true that he’s not at all excited by the prospect of idly standing around, watching balls flying through the air and being chased around in a repetitive, violent game that can last for hours .

No, he’s more so looking forward to ogling the Gryffindor team’s unofficial head cheerleader. His binoculars dangle cheerfully from his neck in preparation as he climbs the stairs to claim his usual spot in the towering Hufflepuff bleachers.

This has been going on since, well, since the first match Mabel Pines played in Wirt’s fifth year. He had been dragged to the game by an overenthusiastic Greg, who couldn’t contain his delight over watching his first school quidditch match with his first sibling in his first year- It was as insufferable and adorable as it sounded.

Accompanying the Gryffindor’s team new chaser was a twin brother so supportive it surpassed extra and so sweet it made Wirt’s chest ache. Watching the cute brunet in the tower across from him scream and flail and jump had been… endearing. And Wirt had envied his confidence. That was all it had been. For months .

It escalated, obviously, because Wirt’s hobbies include reading flowery poetry and overthinking all of his relationships with people, no matter the status; Friend, family, classmate, stranger that he’s been staring at for a wildly inappropriate duration of time, professor.

After his admittedly nonsensical crush on the boy fully developed, Wirt began his action plan. Began planning his action plan, he means. Of course.

But he has done some rather daring things aside from formulating a few risque, hypothetical situations for the wooing process. He- He had inconspicuously asked around until he got the guy’s name and- and- and continued to regularly make eyes through binoculars at Dipper . Whom he has never actually seen up close.

“Progress ,” He weakly lies to himself under his breath as he finds a good place to sit.

His hands wrap around the binoculars and hold them over his eyes, guiding the object in different directions to assist him in his hunt for the place where Dipper can typically be found. The spot is almost immediately discovered (what with his unsavory amount of practice), but there doesn’t appear to be an exuberant ball of eye candy anywhere near the area.

Wirt lowers his binoculars in confusion. The puzzlement he feels quickly shifts into crushing disappointment as potential scenarios for Dipper’s absence flood his head; Each speculative train of thought growing more devastating than the last.

Mourning the loss of his possibly busy/sick/lost/evil/murdered soul mate, Wirt’s circumspect optimism slumps along with his posture. This month is shaping up to be one of unadulterated suck.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Wirt drones, feeling miserable and doubtlessly looking even worse as his head turns in the direction of the person who’s sat beside him.

Shock shoves despair out of the spotlight with inhumane force as Wirt locks eyes with- with- with-

“Dipper,” Dipper sticks an unsure hand out at Wirt, face pink, “We, uh… I sit behind you? In History Of Magic.”

Wirt stares. This is news to him. But it would be, bearing in mind that it’s Wirts first class of the day and he tends to sleep through it rather soundly.

What a fucking mistake that was; For both his love life and his grades. Kill him.

Self hatred striking him like a brick to the skull, he nods, “Yeah. Yes. Be- Behind me. I know.”

He didn’t. He super did not, in fact, but he would bet every single Knut in his vault that Sarah super did . They will be having words. Whenever he’s able to hunt her down, that is.

“Yeah,” Dipper is smiling, an image that Wirt should be very used to, but the uncertainty in his expression is very different from what he’s used to being audience to, “So… your name…?”

Wirt almost dives off of the bleachers when he remembers the hand that Dipper’s been holding out for a while now is meant to be shaken, “Sorry. I- Wirt. Me. I’m Wirt.”

Bury him in the dirt. He still hasn’t grabbed the guy’s hand, for the love of everything-

“Wirt,” Dipper repeats, taking the initiative to grab Wirt’s horribly limp hand and pump their joined hands up and down a few awkward times, “Nice to meet you.”

His skin is soft, so soft, dear lord , “Same.”

It has to be illegal to be this socially inept, someone should just take him the hell out-

“So, uh,” Dipper’s voice cracks and he doesn’t release Wirt’s hand after the uncomfortable handshake, “I want to take you out.”

Good god, a volunteer- Oh. Oh .

“Oh,” Wirt is nothing if not an eloquent man.

“I know,” Dipper is no longer pink, but a vibrant red as his words per minute rate charges into warp speed, “This seems kind of out of nowhere doesn’t it? W- Well, it’s not. Sort of. Sure, uh, we’ve never talked before. So, this is definitely weird. I get that, but not really, because I’ve been trying to figure out how to do this since the start of the semester. I actually wrote a script for this, but my sister found it and- and it is now destroyed. Which is probably for the best, but whatever thick layer of cheese was on that paper has to be better than this. This is a mess. I am a mess. And I’m going to go. Sorry about… Me.”

Dipper’s hand slides out of his own as he stands from the bleachers and turns to leave with a quickness that has Wirt scrambling. He has to think fast and that is by no means a strong suit of his.

“Kay,” Is the first thing to loudly and stupidly slip from his mouth.

Dipper shuffles his feet, turning his neck to look back with distress clearly written on his face, “What?”

Wirt, appearing equally woeful, doesn’t know, “Earlier. I- I was trying to say okay. Oh. Kay. To taking me out. Okay. Okay?”

A broad grin that Wirt is much more accustomed to seeing slowly stretches Dipper’s mouth, “Okay.”

Wirt might’ve smiled back, he’s not positive. And he really doesn’t think to check, once the quite demanding distraction of the entirety of the Gryffindor Quidditch tower rhythmically stomping and clapping starts up.

“ Okay! ” An amplified, horribly familiar voice joins the stomping.

Whatever mood the two had been close to finding immediately darts back into expert hiding.

A honey badger on a broomstick confirms Wirt’s fears, showboating around the Gryffindor bleachers before zooming to the middle of the Quidditch field.

Wirt turns to Dipper, not too far away from bursting into tears, “I sincerely apologize for whatever is about to happen.”

Dipper’s eyebrows raise, “Wha- Oh my god.”

A second broomstick is in the air, this one not holding up an intrusive girl in a fursuit, but a brunette in a Gryffindor Quidditch uniform.

“Same to you,” Dipper meekly continues.

They brace themselves, the both of them fighting the urge to interchangeably dive or enthusiastically flip off of the tower.

The stomping and clapping continue, joined with a horrible vocal parody of Queen’s We Will Rock You , the traditional words replaced with a foreboding, You Should Go Out. Sarah and who Wirt assumes to be Dipper’s twin sister Mabel begin to fly through the air again, puffs of thick white smoke trailing behind their brooms in true Elphaba fashion.

Dipper and Wirt emit noises of intense emotional suffering in unison.

In no time at all the chanting in the Gryffindor bleachers reaches a crescendo and ends. As this happens, the writing in the air can be very clearly read as ‘ Dipper and Wirt Should Totally Date ’. With over five exclamation points. Fireworks go off. Wirt cries.

Sarah and Mabel begin to head in their direction at a frightening speed. Running would be futile.

“Wirt!” Sarah giddily screeches before the pair of girls come to a stopping point directly in front of him, “Ask him!”

The crowd whoops their support as the furry lightly touches Wirt’s throat with the tip of her wand. Wirt coughs, the sound echoing nerve-wrackingly as everyone quiets. The silence huffs down his neck, expectation on its breath.

He swallows, glancing over at Dipper’s shocked/horrified/pretty face before croaking, “He already asked me.”

Dipper clears his throat, and Mabel’s wand is pressed against his neck.

“He said yes,” Dipper mumbles, running a nervous hand through his mass of fluff parading as hair.

“Yeah,” Wirt lamely confirms.

The pathetic smattering of applause the finale of the overly dramatic display earns is almost as humiliating as the display itself. Almost.

Mabel and Sarah flee before revenge can strike. And make no mistake, Wirt is planning on a hefty amount of revenge and it is guaranteed to be cruel. Whenever he gets around to exacting it, of course.

The game announcer thankfully takes pity on them and changes the subject by beginning to introduce the players. Everyone moves on in an attempt to smother the cringe they all feel, but this specific brand of mortification is comparable only to a particularly out of control internal forest fire.

Wirt knows this, because he himself is currently trying to let the flames consume him.

“… Hogsmeade trip this weekend,” Dipper mentions, his voice trembling with chagrin.

“Yes,” He responds, voice quaking similarly.

“We could meet at The Three Broomsticks?” Dipper smiles, wryly, “If you still want-”

“I want. I do. Uh. Yes,” Wirt hatefully rubs at his face, “Sounds good.”

“Good,” Dipper nods, and jerks a thumb over his shoulder, “So, I’m gonna head back to my dorm and… maybe cast a memory charm on myself.”

“Understandable,” Wirt’s lips twitch, “See you this weekend- Or, w- well, in History Of Magic tomorrow, I guess.”

“Looking forward to it,” Dipper grins.

And it is inarguably awkward, but it also sweet , so Wirt has to fake no sincerity whatsoever when he replies, “Me too.”

Okay, I just have to say it. One of my LEAST favorite headcanons is that Illya is just seconds away from defecting. It bothers me for a variety of reasons and I’ll ATTEMPT to detail a few in this post (this is very, VERY long omg this is why I usually post things on my phone because using the stupid iPhone pad limits the amount of words I have the patience to type):

1) A man who has dedicated his LIFE to upholding a system isn’t going to just throw it away willy-nilly because he spends a couple weeks abroad. A man who has spent his life trying to prove his loyalty through military and civic service isn’t going to just go “oh nevermind” and drop it. You had KGB sleeper agents who spent their entire lives in the US who never “gave in” and held onto their ideals. I’m not going to go into the history of Communism’s crimes (believe me, I know, just providing an alternate–if flawed–view), but many people in the 60′s (probably including Illya) believed that this was a time of “growing pains,” that this was only temporary, that a new worldwide utopia of peace and prosperity and equality was upon them. They rationalized that they had things like universal healthcare (ILLYA AND GABY WOULD BE USED TO FREE BIRTH CONTROL JSYK) and support for single mothers and the elderly, homelessness was almost unheard of, scientific advancement was keeping pace with the US, there was a sense of innocence and camaraderie that many people look back to with nostalgia, and at the time, many people thought of the government had their best interests at heart, kind of like a parent “keeping them safe” (and Illya probably would have thought of himself as being a part of this–like, lol, a “big brother” to his younger siblings).

I mean…. I’m hardly saying it was ideal and no one has to tell ME about the wide-spread issues, but the 60′s were the period of openness and transparency and a revealing and rejection of the horrors of Stalinism. It was a new era, quality of life in the USSR was improving, and things were looking up in general. And this is the Russia that I think Illya would see. 

2) A man like Illya’s heart beats for his country, he would DIE to protect it (Americans in particular don’t understand because in regards to our country, many of us can just take it or leave it–and in recent times, it’s much more likely to express either indifference or hatred toward it–the level of devotion to their country that many Russians have is something that the average American just can’t understand). The Motherland is his first love to the point that choosing between it an Gaby might not end up in Gaby’s favor. I tend to avoid this scenario for this very reason but also because I think if she loves him she won’t ask him make this choice.

3) People assume that Russia has nothing for Illya, that he lives in some muddy, freezing hellhole without any friends (nothing suggests that he’s friendless–he’s moody and introverted but he’s also under a lot of stress in enemy territory working with someone who typifies everything he hates) or family (what happened to all his extended family? aunts? uncles? grandparents?), that all his bosses all regularly treat him like dirt (true, the KGB wasn’t exactly friendly, but uh, Illya is the KGB), and that Russia is just a shitty place to be in general and anyone in their right mind would want to leave ASAP. (See point #1)

4) Aside from Oleg threatening him, there’s nothing that suggests that Illya is dissatisfied with his career, one that seems to be going very, very well for him.

5) It’s super insulting to Russians to imply “well, clearly anyone with a brain would join US/NATO, the superior country.”

6) Illya is aware of the “glitz and glamour” of the West, and he has no problem tapping into it when the mission calls for it (Gaby’s suuuper expensive wardrobe–also interesting because yes, I know it was a nod to TV Illya being a fashion designer, but it suggests that the mission comes before ideology), but he himself doesn’t buy into it (see: his own clothing– and I will DIE ON THE HILL of Illya being a sensible but fashionable character, I mean, look at how many guys are sporting black turtlenecks and blazers now, eh? eh?).                                     

7) The whole POINT of U.N.C.L.E. is to join equals from all over the world, to join opposing viewpoints, to rise above politics. This whole thing doesn’t work (and proves U.N.C.L.E. to be dangerous and biased) if it favors one ideology over another. Imagine the beauty of a Christian agent and a Muslim agent working together to defeat terrorism and everyone wants one to convert to the other’s religion and you see the issue…

I like to think that them burning the disk is the final test–can they put their individual countries’ interests aside for the greater good? Again, we expect the American to make the right decision (because Americans are always good, right?) but I was grinning ear to ear when I saw that the Russian did too, which is why it bothers me when people explain it away as some kind of blooming romance between the two. Don't take this SUPER rare portrayal of a Russian being a morally decent human being (and the American is a self-obsessed thief? who shows signs of prejudice and ignorance of other cultures??? say whaaaaat…) in a Hollywood film away from us!!!

Anyway, just my uh two cents. I think that if Illya were ever to defect, it would be during the corruption of the late 80′s, and that’s ONLY if he feels that he could better serve his country from without rather than within. I think Illya is incorruptible and if the system ever failed him irreparably, THEN he’d try to find other options, but Russia would remain his love. 

Magic wall of text GO

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

His full name is Marvin Achari. He chose Marvin because of his childhood nickname Magic. It looks kinda similar written. Though he isn't really sure anymore if chosing a western name out of spite was the right decision when he was younger. Manik is a pretty name too. 3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? Family support is extremely important to him so I kinda don’t dare to give him anything but a good upbringing. Bc hes my boy and I don’t like characters being all sad. Especially since Magic has these issues of desperately needing attention and appreciation and if I took this from him from the start he would turn out to be a really desperate attention seeker from any source possible  with no selfworth. And that is harmful. Most fond memories are related to Amra taking a day or two off to just have some exciting family activities and trips rolling. She works a lot, and he is a mommys boy so these memories are kind of sacred. Bad memories would be invalidating related. Most of the time he just rolled with gender, but the moment he identified 100% as a guy his hobbies suddenly became too girlish, too flamboyant and kind of problematic. It’s kind of a bad experience for an early teen to have people suddenly treat you badly even though nothing really changed. Why is it suddenly bad that he isn’t a rowdy boy? Why is it suddenly bad to pay attention to your looks and care for your body? Why is it suddenly bad to like pink glitter nail polish? And that was a big contributor to why he was such a moodswingy clusterfuck his teen years. It was a weird limbo of wanting to get accepted by his peers at any cost and wanting to send a big fuck you to the world. 5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults? Keskin and Magic would generally get along very well, but were prone to playfighting. Who was the strongest, who was the wittiest, trying to outsmart each other, you name it. Keskin is protective over her little brother and if someone picked on him, they would have to deal with a really pissed strong girl. Keskin also comes a lot more after Amra and has her calmer nature, so if Magic had an issue she would try to work through it with him. She was also his driver for quite some time until he could drive himself. In adulthood their relationship hasn't really changed. She still calls him fartface 6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate? Magic had his personal issues with school because he was an unbearing smartass who you had to convince to do his work. If you weren't a good and nice enough teacher you simply would not get him to do his work. But most of his issues he had stemmed from his friendship to Ben. Teachers who would seperate them because they were touchy feely or otherwise weird but not really problematic would get the entity of Magic's hate. He would try to verbally fight and discuss and stand his ground constantly. Amra had to be called often. Teachers who would pick on Ben would have the worst troublemaker in their class in form of the overly protective best friend. But to teachers who were understanding of their bond and nice, they would have two outstanding students and the sweetest kids in their class. It really depended on how you would treat them. Magic would eventually pursue college and study Communication and Media. 7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? Magic knew basically everyone. And was friends with most kids. He still has it very easy aquiring new friends because of his easygoing and open nature. Theres friends from school, friends from his sports, friends from college, friends from his job, friends from his minijobs, friends he got to know through parties or clubbing. One special guy he knows is Ben, his best friend, who he got to know in kindergarten and ever since were joined at the hip. There's a lot of adoration and platonic love to the max going on. 8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? Magic had birds ever since he was about 10 years old. Through a lot of begging. Starting his career he decides to not own birds for a little while, because he has no time to actively care for them to a degree he wants them to be cared for. Animals deserve a worthy life, yanno. 9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? He's not the real animal guy, apart from birds. He mostly got his general animal knowledge trough being best friends with Ben. But he doesn't mind them. Caring for them on a non-commited basis is fun. Escept for horses, which he is very suspicious of. 11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies? Magic is like everyone in his family lactose intolerant. 15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking? Magic is pretty decent at cooking. Nothing too fancy but it is a solid base. He prefers to be cooked for, though. He likes doing  tasks in the kitchen that noone else wants to do, like washing up or peeling vegetables, but only if there is another person to chat. Otherwise he won't get his ass up.    16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? Friendships. But that’s too easy lmao. Magic is generally not too big on material possessions, I mean he is the kind of kid who lost every figure of every boardgame he ever owned and grew up filthy rich. It’s not like he doesn’t appreciate it but when you have the option do get things at any given time they kinda lose their value. He’s a big hoarder in video games, especially with money. He’s big on MMOs and he has to make sure all of his characters look absolutely stunning. He’s the kind of max-level roleplayer guy who owns all the fancy shit somehow. He’s not too big on material possessions but he has a weakness for useless mundane stuff like bird feathers or seashells or clothing of other people and he is embarassed to tell people about it so he mostly doesn’t. Hobbies that could get seen as weird and boring are locked away. He’s only loud about his flashy hobbies. All the shit he collects like some kind of nature hoarder mostly gets forgotten after the trip it was collected at. He never really does anything with it, and especially doesn’t want to display it. It’s just the fun of collecting and finding sweet stuff. He does have a weird knack for dumbass Tees and band tees. He also more or less collects these little festival arm ties. But these fall into the category of loud and flashy hobbies. 17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos? You have no idea. Magic takes soooo many photos. Of things he finds ineresting, of other people, of animals he knows his friends like. He's also a chronic Instagrammer. He's really into keeping memories so whenever something interesting happens he demands a group selfie. Or just generally capturing the moment when noone pays attention. 24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress? Magic is a light boy so he has a soft matress. For the sake of a healthy back. He usually gets snoozy at around midnight to 1 am. He's an early riser so staying up super long isn't his usual thing. He prefers sleeping on other people. And if other people are not able to hang out he still has his habit of stealing clothes, which he uses as pillow covers just for the comforting smell. He also spoons his rolled-up blanket when hes alone. He doesn't snore but every now and then he talks in his sleep. 26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? ALL. When he's really happy he can't contain all the happiness and kinda becomes a very excited Golden Retriever. doing a little dance?  yeaaa. Other reactions might include: Squeaking, flapping arms, excited chatter so quickly you can barely keep up, bobbing up and down like an idle animation, very tight excited hugs, kisses, hair ruffles, touching arms like "pap pap pap pap papapapap" 27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad? Magic curls up into a ball which is the polar opposite of his usual very open body language. With full-on knees drawn to body, arms wrapped around knees, face on knees action. He will have beautiful wet crying spots on his knees. The real difficulty is trying to make him uncurl bc as long as he’s armadillo-ing he’s keeping shit halfway together - which in itself wouldn’t be bad but he’s also overthinking with that and thats the bad shit. If you manage to make him uncurl he will go into gross crying and clawing at you bc oh god so many emotions and it hurts so much. he will really bawl his eyes out and wail 28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared? Being left behind by the people he considers his "homebase". When he has no people to come back to he gets very directionless and upset and will eventually resort to problematic behaviors to get peer recognition at any price. 29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? He will remember it for eternity. For when he might need it to verbally slaughter a bitch. But in all seriousness, it really depends on how your relationship to him is. If he dislikes you he will wait for such opportunities and weaponize it against you. He can be a real terror when he has a real grudge. Usually he just recognizes it, and if it's a dumb thing and with a friend he might tease. If it's something serious he will get all soft and comforty. 30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out? Magic loves excercise and needs it desperately. As a child he was into gymnastics, eventually he got into dancing. He will eventually pick up yoga and pole fitness. He's a very active boye. Pre-workout he's pumped as fuck. He's the kind of guy you would see doing little horse prances in hopes of getting to start soon. After workout he's hungry and more often than not dtf.    34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body? Magic is a very long noodly boy. A pool noodle fursona. He's 179 cm tall. He generally likes his looks but in his opinion it would be cool if he actually managed to pack on a tiny bit of visible muscle. And if he actually grew denser arm hair. 35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? His guilty pleasure kind of plays into his useless items collecting habit. Oh and he also picks his skin and gets a disgusting satisfasction from popping zits of blackheads. He knows he shouldnt. But. He also probably enjoyed the Twilight series, which is a sin in itself.

His unguilty pleasure is sex. He likes it, he’s not afraid to ask for it. He has no real shame regarding questions about it. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about the social stigma. It doesn’t have to be as complicated as people make it be, yanno.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

His hobbies are his sports and also singing. He can sing very well, not worldclass superstar level, but still extremely good for an amateur. He eventually uses his "boyfriends boyfriend" privileges to get singing lessons from Nancy to kick it up another notch. 

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

He reads maybe comics himself. But for novels he really loved having them read to him. That makes him feel all cozy and comforted. 

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

He admires everyone with organisation skills. And people who can just sit down and do a thing. He can't do that, even though he wishes he could. He's a very flighty dude in what he considers worthy of doing. And as always he admired people who are kind, people who have a big heart. 

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Magic heavily prefers modern ways of communication. He's into texting. But loveletters are still a sweet gesture.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Magic is a starbucks hoe. So yes he's into sugary stuff, and also what you could consider coffee. Enrgy drinks not so much because he doesn't like the smell of them. 

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationships?

He's as homosexual as a guy can be. Full on homoromantic homosexual. Physically he loves a good gunshow, and he surely won't say no to oogling at a nicely toned back behind a pair of sunglasses. But he also loves the smaller dudes who just have that bit of spice in how they interact with the world around them. who are witty and quick to return banter. But he also loves the shy dudes who get all visibly nervous and cute, but react so well when they are happy. He is a guy of many tastes. Love many flavors of men. 

But generally he loves being able to play his wit and to have friendly playfights with a potential partner.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

He loves spring and summer. Magic is not a fan of loomy lazy skies and fog. His favorite weather is clear sunshine, slightly overcast weather and summer rains. He's also a massive fan of thunderstorms, they make him feel super energized and pumped.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Being a fancy boy and also socializing? Thats fun. Bring on the chitchat, it's time to get to know some gossip. 

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

He loves parties. His favorite kind of party is still music festivals, but he's also into private yard parties a lot. The chill kind of parties are the best. He prefers to just turn up, he doesn't have the neccessary organization skills for hosting most of the time.

And he is. The life of the party. He'll be off to chitchat wherever it looks interesting the most, he has no shame, especially after a few shots. Bring on the shitty or dirty jokes. He's a fun guy to be around with.