#and when they see someone who actually does value their own life
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how sungho loves ( zodiac series ) ˚ · .
how i think sungho would navigate relationships/love/communication based on his natal chart/birth chart!
wc: 1k+
more under the cut!
"trust, honesty, and devotion" are the first three words that enter my mind when i look at sungho's chart!
to put it simply, sungho isn't a "flirt". he'd rather pay attention to the little detail about you and act accordingly!!! he can come across as a rather quiet lover, preferring to keep his feelings at bay until he is completely sure that you are as serious about the relationship as he is. because of his virgo sun, he usually avoids taking risks, so he thinks through every possible outcome of confessing his feelings to you before he actually does. it's not easy for him to let people in romantically ><
sungho is very intentional and direct with his words—he does not beat around the bush. because of his mercury in virgo, he kind of carries a "no nonsense" attitude when it comes to his relationships. if he genuinely likes you and sees a future with you, he's not going to pretend he doesn't! he only involves himself in relationships he sees as worth the effort, and trust that he will give his all when he's serious about you ^___^
with his moon being in sagittarius, i see his main love language as quality time. he likes to be active, so he enjoys dates based around exploration like traveling and trying out new things! he loves, loves, loves spending time with you and gains so much energy from being in your presence. he enjoys banter and a sense of playfulness in his partner.
he's a huge fan of acts of service as well. he'll do all of the chores around the house, buy and cook you as much food at you want, help you brush and dry your hair. anything he can do that helps you relieve stress, he's on it. with his mars in pisces, he just wants to please you. his main goal is for you to happy and proud to be with him. he needs to feel needed and valued!! he's especially sensitive around his waistline, so please give him hugs around the waist! it makes him feel so secure.
since his venus squares pluto, he loves very deeply and intensely. he's ready to live through thick and thin with you and grow together to become better versions of yourself.
sungho loves quietly, but his small actions should never go unnoticed! the best way to make him feel loved is to make him feel appreciated and noticed. a "thank you", "you're doing so well", "you've been working so hard", or a "i'm proud of you" goes a long way. he doesn't need any flashy acts of loyalty or a shakespear poem recited to him. he just wants to know that you love him and appreciate him.
when it comes to ideal types, i think sungho is someone who is attracted to those who can stimulate his mind, bring something new to the table, and are equally as adventurous. he likes people who are honest about not only their feelings for him, but their own internal emotions. sungho especially likes people who can handle his sarcasm, push and pull, and match his wit.
he doesn't have time for people who are unsure of what they want! he lives passionately and is most compatible with those who can keep up with his pace and enthusiasm for life. he likes when his partner is confident and simplistic, but never cocky. i have a feeling that he appreciates those who aren't always in the spotlight, as well!!!
sungho is a very optimistic person because of his sun conjunction with venus. ^___^ he tries to see the good in people, but he can overly critical at times. it's never his intention to hurt anyone! he's just very blunt and straightforward when it comes to his feelings. this is why it's important for him to have a partner that understands his true nature and complexity, rather than just seeing him on the surface level.
trust is a very, very big thing for him. he's completely open and honest with his feelings, and he expects his partner to do the same. if he feels like his trust has been broken, he can be pretty confrontational. if he's especially stressed or overwhelmed, he can be very sensitive, but because of his mars in pisces, he forgives very quickly. he hates the feeling of being upset with you and he'll want to work on any problems immediately and thoroughly.
sungho isn't immune to jealousy either. with the slightest hint that your attention or interest is moving away from him, he'll internalize those feelings. with his moon conjunction pluto, he has a habit of to hiding his negative feelings which can result in emotional outbursts and arguments. this can lead to a lot of guilt because rationally, he knows that you love him, but he overthinks a lot. since his sun squares his moon, he has some conflicts with emotional insecurity. he can get fussy sometimes, so a person who can provide him with patience and security is ideal.
one way you'll know for sure if sungho is in love with you would be him relinquishing his control. his sun, mercury, and venus are all ruled by virgo so he innately craves management and order. he strives for perfection always, but this can lead to built-up tension and stress if he doesn't have a safe environment to retreat to. vulnerability is a sensitive thing for him with his moon in sagittarius. people who don't know him that well can see his values of independence as aloofness or being scared of commitment, but that is the opposite of the truth! his passion for his lover shines through when he gives up control.
this give-and-take relationship is the key to balance and stability with sungho. when sungho feels completely comfortable with you, he'll let you take care of him for once. try being the big spoon, playing with his hair, and letting him vent to you without inputting your own opinions. (and he'll never admit it, but he loves being babied as well.) he'll turn into putty in your hands <3
reblogs are greatly appreciated! lmk what u think or if you have any other takes!!! i'm always open to learning more :o thank u...<3
series masterlist
masterlist
#000 pawz ⋆˚🐾˖°#he's such an entj its insane#sungho x reader#sungho imagine#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor fluff#boynextdoor#bnd#yay
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Have you noticed how common it is becoming for men to remind women of how much we don't matter compared to anything else, and we should be grateful for our existence? I see this every time a woman does something that gets her any amount of attention, immediately it will be "who cares" and in any news story where something bad happens to a woman, men will immediately come in the with their "cry me a river" comments.
An example is a story I recently saw of two sisters, one had saved the others life when she was attacked by a crocodile. She had punched the crocodile in the face and it went away. I think that is incredible, that she had such a strong instinct to protect her sister even by risking her own life. But there was virtually no praise in any comment. It was all men saying the "felt sorry for the crocodile" and "just punched an innocent creature in the face" I love animals sure, but a woman's life comes first and I thought that was a given. It so clearly indicated how much they under value our lives. It doesn't matter if a woman is brutally killed, as along as she doesn't interfere with the existence of anything else.
Another example is a story of a disabled woman with spinal muscular atrophy, so she could not go anywhere without a wheelchair, complained that AirCanada had failed to provide a exit tunnel to get of an airplane and she had been carried down the stairs by staff who were not trained with dealing with someone is her very fragile condition and she was scared she would be hurt. Not only were there a few negative comments, but people, mostly men, (and all fully able to walk on two legs) absolutely piled on her. There were hundreds of them, they commented on the news site then went on her Instagram for the sole purpose of commenting more hate. Most of the comments I noticed were decrying her for being "ungrateful. " someone said "thank you to all the nice men who carried me" is what you should have said. "" why didn't she make a video where she thanked every one of the staff" horrible abelist comments like "why didn't you walk down the stairs" got 12000 likes, one was "in China, born disabled, get killed, be lucky you are breathing." which got over a 1000 likes. Most of the people who commented also mentioned how the men who had to carry her down the stairs were all working class. It's just so stupid how people can be empathetic toward specific categories of men who are disadvantaged but not a woman who literally can't walk or have any privacy. Some people also said they "felt sorry for the airline company" I thought that all the woke anti capitalist generation realised how much major coorperations suck? Well apparently they elicit more sympathy than a disabled woman.
Their obsession with us having to be silently grateful is the key thing. Men don't see this world is being for women, especially women who need extra help, it's for them and we should be grateful we are even allowed to exist.
It's not their world. Be as loud as you want to be. Your life does actually matter.
#feminism#feminist#radblr#radical feminst#radical feminism#feminist quotes#radical feminist community#radical feminists do interact
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i see so many people saying how S1 Mike jumped off of a cliff for Dustin but S4 Mike would never and that's why they hate him and
just
like yes he's an asshole but that doesn't mean he would let his friends die without doing anything that's just plain stupid. he still cares about his friends so so much
or i see poeple saying that if this same scenario would happen now he wouldn't jump but would try to resolve it with words and like would that be so wrong????
this boy has seen so much death these past few years. they all did
if he said "no i will not kill myself just because some stupid bully who needs to harm others to feel better about himself told me to" i would fucking cheer him on
he would still do anything for his friends but if he would decide not to meaninglessly throw away his life in the process then you really can't blame him after all they've been through because now he knows what death looks like, he knows what it's like to see poeple die, he knows what it's like to survive and try to pick up the pieces and it wouldn't make him a bad person
(and anyways i still believe that Mike still would die for his friends yall just find anything to hate him for even if it's not canon)
#i am forever a#mike wheeler defender#and i won't apologise#like you don't have to like him that's ok#everyone has their own opinions and sometimes we just can't connect with some characters and don't like them for whatever reason#that's ok#but this boy really is so overhated and for what#for being an angsty trumatised teenage boy with internalised homophobia?#sorry just saw some people saying stuff again and i needed to get it out lol#and really i feel like when people see a character who would immediately die for their loved ones they're like#wow what a selfless brave hero#when in reality it mostly just means that they're broken and don't value their own lives#or see themselves as less worthy or even want to actively die#amd that's just sad#and when they see someone who actually does value their own life#and don't want to throw it away even if it's to save someone#and want to find a solution where they all live#people are like wow you're a selfish asshole and you should die#like wtf#ok i'm rambling too much now i'll stop#mike wheeler#byler#blue's 'mike's extreme defender' ramblings
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been starting to realize that ive been doing Real Bad for a Real Long time and it's a bit scary. ive upped my antidepressants which should help in a couple weeks (and them starting to wear off is probably what caused the depressive spiral, tbh). and honestly just knowing what's going on and being able to take active steps to fix it instead of feeling like ive just suddenly lost my ability to be a whole human person is helpful.
but god it's so scary that i was like that for months and didn't really notice. i mean, obviously i knew things were bad, but i was really attributing it to a personal inability to keep up with the expectations around me and not realizing i was mostly struggling so much because my mental health had tanked. i managed to scrape my way out of this one without crazy longterm damage, beyond worrying some teachers, missing the early application deadlines for a couple schools, and overall reinforcing the idea that i am unwell and not to be trusted with my parents, but it's very demoralizing to know that even though i work very hard when i'm able to there will probably always be periods in my life when my depression impedes me from amount of work expected of a normal human being.
i mean, i'm still in high school, and i couldn't keep up with just coming to school every day and keeping up with classwork. i'm not saying this makes me a terrible person, contributing to society isn't what gives someone worth, but i know i'm capable of more without this setback and it's frustrating.
just, i don't know what i'm going to do once i live on my own. having people around me who can look at me and say 'hey man you are clearly going through some shit take it easy' is the only way i can snap out of episodes like these thus far. ive been looking forward to college and feeling like my life and time is going towards a meaningful purpose for so long and i am going to be so, so upset if i fuck it up.
it just hurts having high expectations put on me, i guess. i don't want go on a litany of gifted kid woes or whatever but i am very intellectually intelligent and adults have looked at that and assumed i must succeed and if i'm not i'm not trying hard enough. it's great when i do achieve something big and i get to fulfill those expectations but i just don't know if i can, in the long term.
i struggle with such basic parts of being a functional adult. and i know my parents and teachers do just want me to be happy and don't care if i don't end up where they thought i would, but it just always feels like there's this better version of me out there if i could just stop missing school and stop procrastinating and really apply myself. but when i DO apply myself i quickly burn out and enter another destructive spiral.
there's not really a point to this, i guess. just that i want to succeed and i don't want to fuck it all up for myself because my brain tells me it doesn't matter for a few months. it does, when i'm not depressed i do care, so so so much, and i hate having to fight myself for what i want.
#txt#i know there's like a lot of internalized abelism here#i mean idk that im disabled per se but#its easy for me to look at someone else and say that just living is all that is required and ability to work doesn't give you worth#but i can't really apply it to myself#kinda for commie reasons. i believe strongly in the power of my ideals i guess. that everyone should want to help other people.#that a good life is spent fighting for others rights. that that's a virtue. but i mean.#that's kind of contradictory cos like who is fighting for my life and happiness? why does other ppls wellbeing matter but not mine?#and i guess i need to learn to see life as more collaborative. each to his own ability yk?#like every person should help others as much as they can. but if they can't at all? it's okay.#even if they can't do as much as others think they would bc of their mental health. also okay.#it is just hard to actually believe that when so few ppl actually believe their life should be dedicated towards smth useful to society#that their personal wealth and comfort while still valuable is not more valuable than others. t that they should care abt those worth off#guess there is value to the idea that you should get to do what you want with your life too. suppose that is the primary issue w communism#i mean every job is valuable to society nvm. anyway I'm sort of off the rails here uhm#depression sux im sick of it i want to be an environmental engineer and i don't want this to hold me back.
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spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!
aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong
something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.
from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.
i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.
that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.
so why does he act this way
all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.
as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.
but this brings me to my next point.
aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.
but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.
that says more than enough about his character.
and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.
and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.
i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.
let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.
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🍁✨️ Mars in Natal Chart: The Men you are Attracted To✨️🍁
(Does anyone know the name of this turkish movie/drama, from the GIF.)
Mars in Aries
You love a man who is bold, and doesn't hold back from speaking up for himself. As an Aries Mars you have plenty of energy within you, and you move in a very direct manner regarding the things you want to have. So you really need a man who also has his own set of goals while supporting you as well, but not to the point that he gets in your way. You like a masculine energy that is sure of what they want to achieve and what they are going after. Someone who is very much in touch with their physicality and is always on the go. A person who respects, especially, the fact that you both are two separate individuals and both of your guy's desires matter. You like a masculine energy that can be physically playful with you. Someone who is very loud and clear with their actions, is really gonna give you the butterflies. This man is someone who feels proud when they see you succeeding, and someone who isn't afraid to lead you through life.
Mars in Taurus
You get butterflies big time when a masculine energy is stable and grounded. You value a man who is very much connected to his physical senses and enjoys a slow and steady lifestyle. A man who is also very much connected to his sacred femininity. As in, he has a healthy connection with the feminine aspects of life such as art or channeling his intuition. You feel energetic when the things around you have a solid future and that you know it'll give you much stability later on. So that's the same you look for in a man. His ability to plan ahead and tackle the physical aspects of life such as managing money or deciding on things like vacations or the home, it's all very important for you. You are also attracted to a man who is interested in the matters of your home, like making sure everything is good quality and that you are well provided for. Someone you can sit and simply relax with, either in a nice spa or baking something together.
Mars in Gemini
You like a smarty pants. Lol, I mean you love when a masculine energy is eloquent in the way they express their words and can explain literally anything in the world to you with extreme ease. Someone who is very good at regulating his words, and you really get the butterflies when a man can flatter you with his intelligence. Someone who is both quick to understand things and also someone who can take their time to strategically plan their way around getting things done. You like playful banters or atleast have this thing for having conversations with your partner in a way that looks like you both are fighting, but is actually very fun to do and is not serious fights at all. Because for you, you are bit of a conversationalist yourself even if you don't have any major placements in Gemini itself. You love a man with whom you can genuinely connect on an intellectual level. Also, I think Gemini Mars women are attracted to men who work with their hands in some way 👀.
Mars in Cancer
You like a man who isn't afraid to show his emotions, and talk about his feelings whenever it's needed. There is a strong sense of being comfortable with one's feminine side, as in him being connected with his nurturing qualities. You like a man who lives a more easy-going lifestyle, someone who is domestic and focuses more on bringing peace in his home. Now with Mars in Cancer, it's not a beneficial placement as the energies of Mars and Cancer contradict each other. So you can be a bit distrustful or closed off with the masculine energies and figures in your life. And with men who appear to be on the sensitive side, you can get attached very quickly. A masculine energy that is not only just a physical provider, but also an emotional provider is what you are heavily attracted towards. Cancer rules the chest and stomach, so perhaps men with a defined chest or a toned stomach can really get you attracted. In short, it's someone connected to his emotions and is much more on the gentle side of life.
Mars in Leo
You love a fabulous man. Someone who isn't just a plain old attention seeker, but someone who actually exudes confidence wherever he goes. You are attracted to men who are quite on the creative side of life, like someone who lives a colorful life, someone who isn't afraid to add their personal touch to things, someone who honors their individuality. Often times you can attract cocky men, or men who are super insecure on the inside, so be aware of that. With your Leo Mars you are quite stubborn and fixated towards the things you want to achieve, and you might move a bit slow, but you make those moves so loud. You need a masculine energy that can sustain this nonstop fire within you. You also like praises, so definitely a man who knows how to appreciate you well enough. You enjoy a power couple dynamic, so the masculine energy in your life should be someone who knows that you both add even more shine to each other's light. You also desire to be seen by your partner, so if a confident man does that for you, it's one major butterfly inducing factor for you.
Mars in Virgo
You love men who knows what they are doing. Men who mindlessly go about their days or don't even know how to do basic tasks, really turn you off. You love a man who is sure of what he is trying to do, while also being able to give you the practical knowledge about that thing. With Mars in Virgo you go about your life quite statistically by planning your moves, and you love a man who does the same. You really are attracted to a handy-manny type of masculine energy, that can make you feel physically comfortable by improving the way you live. Small practical gestures like holding the door open for you or bringing you a glass of warm honey tea at the end of the day, or something, it really makes you feel like you can rely on that person. You are attracted to witty and often sarcastic men. You also need a mental attraction with a person, while also being able to use all that exchange of information into some practical use. You are also pretty attracted to men who prioritize cleanliness and hygiene.
Mars in Libra
You experience a very dynamic yet subtle kind of attraction. By subtle I mean you aren't the type to directly approach the men you are attracted to or be very driven with your crush. Instead, you like the sneaky flirtations, the slow burn that slowly yet gently gets you to understand the other person. You are highly attracted to the classic gentlemen type. Someone who is a smooth talker, a man with a charismatic yet soothing demeanor. You can easily get turned off by men who are overly aggressive or the men who push other people around or the men who cannot hold a conversation without creating drama. With your Mars in Libra, you are attracted to a diplomatic masculine presence. Someone who knows the power of staying still, listening to both sides and knowing when to put their feet into the conversation. The quality of being able to carry oneself with much grace, is something that highly attracts you to a man. On a challenging note, you may happen to attract men who are all talk and no action.
Mars in Scorpio
The way you want a man to be with you is to be completely obsessed with you from head to toe. Honestly it's really that intense and possessive Christian Grey vibes. You love the intensity. You love it when a man holds a certain amount of mystery to himself which can allow you to be completely intrigued. You love to peel the layers one by one, all by yourself. So a man who knows how to keep you hooked, while also being able to reveal himself to you one quality at a time, it's very butterfly inducing for you. You love possessive men, like that's not even something we don't know. Men who are calculative, on the quieter side around people and slightly have a rbf. You are also the type to love the hot-cold dynamic, where there are intense arguments after a session of giving cold stares to each other and then even more intense make ups. Masculines who are in touch with their sexuality are sure to drive you crazy. Beware of manipulators or extremely closed off individuals.
Mars in Sagittarius
You love honest men. Honestly, honesty and being able to say things without sugarcoating it, is your best quality. You like a man who is on the same page of thinking as you. A man who has his belief systems in order, and a man who is good at understanding motives, intentions and meanings behind the things people do, is really someone you would enjoy spending your time with. Your choice in men is quite unique, because you want someone who has a rich way of thinking, a rich way of going about life. At the same time the masculine figures in your life need to be adventurous, both in the physical side of life and also mentally. Someone you can completely connect with on a mental level, and can bounce around ideas, discuss things like law or philosophy. You rarely like a boring man who is all about his boring life. You need someone to be your best friend, as well as your partner. On a challenging note, you may get attracted to men who are just too focused on their own freedom, not at all stable in life, and quite hard to open up emotionally.
Mars in Capricorn
You love when a man is the provider. Not because you can't provide for yourself or anything, but because you yourself are very much of a busy-body, and you know the importance of having a goal and stability in your life. You are immensely attracted to a man who has goals, whether big or small. An ambitious man catches your attention big time. For you it's very important for the masculine figure to be able to provide and be the reliable one. Men who has goals, has a plan, is ambitious, cares about providing for the domestic life. It's not a desire fueled by greed or laziness to achieve on your own, that you would want someone else to do it for you, instead, it's a genuine desire to partner up with a man who knows the importance of actions following his words. You also love to be with a man who knows how to appreciate himself for his work. On the challenging side you might happen to attract someone greedy, unproductive or someone with a directionless life.
Mars in Aquarius
Attraction for you is very much rooted in the fact that you can be yourself around a man. If he's comfortable, then it's super attractive. You love men who have a very intellectual and a forward thinking, open minded mindset. Because for you attraction is also very much rooted in the fact that you can connect on an intellectual level with that man. A man who has his emotions under control, who knows how to stay calm and see situations for what they are, really gives you the butterflies. On the same note, men who are unique, whether it's in the way they think or take action or dress, seem to catch your eye, a lot. Masculine energy that has a certain purpose in life, no matter if it seems childlike, and masculine energy that knows how to create a path forward, are very attractive for Aquarius Mars. On the challenging side, you might happen to attract men who are completely ruthless or emotionally closed off. You might be attracted to men who seem to keep their composure sustained for a long time without getting bothered.
Mars in Pisces
You like gentlemen. There is something so precious about a Pisces Mars, because they are just harmless. You really need a man who matches the same kind of vibe. You like sweet, gentle and easy going men. Because you really can get turned off by dramatic, aggressive and raging men who can't stay still for one moment. Men who are much focused on the pursuit of a deeper meaning in life, and men who are quite sensitive, really make you feel some type of way. You enjoy the presence of a masculine figure that knows how to cater to your emotional needs, and treat you like the soft princess you are deep inside. Someone who isn't overly critical of things, someone who contributes to things in a very creative manner, someone who knows the importance of being gentle with you whether physically or simply emotionally/mentally. On a challenging note you may attract men who are overly lost in their own worlds or men who can just never take anything seriously.
Thanks for reading 💕
#mars#astrology compatibility#astrology#natal chart reading#mars astrology#future spouse#natal chart#astrology husband
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what your ateez bias says about you
if you take this seriously, that's on you. i'm just doing this for fun.
tw: heavy topics, language, roasting
*****
hongjoong: right. how's the desire to impress people and overworking yourself doing? i feel like what draws you in is his resilience, and that he is very dependable. you probably had a lot of moments where you were left to your own devices to work on something major, and are no stranger to burnout. you might be the kind of person to talk about your achievements and your work and everything you do a lot, maybe to seek validation (and maybe to cement that you have something others don't). on a softer note, you probably have a wide range of skills in a field you are interested in, and experiment a lot. generally are not afraid to go outside of norms to figure something out. so to see the qualities of a leader and innovator in joong is both comforting and inspiring to you. (bonus: you probably have a thing for clips of joong in the studio, don't you?)
seonghwa: you feel like you don't have anyone who you can actually trust with your thoughts and feelings, huh? people talk at you, not to you. you are a natural care-giver, are quick to give advice (also to bottle up someone else's negativity), often ignoring yourself. you might have lost the feeling of 'home' or of 'small but certain happiness', and might have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. on a brighter note, you are someone who can process emotions a lot more deeply than others and if there is anyone who can actually put themselves in another's shoes, it's you. i think hwa is a safe space to you, precisely because it is not all sunshine and rainbows. you connect with his battles, growth, and how he is accepting change and trying to find balance. (bonus: him getting excited about something is legit your therapy isn't it)
yunho: many acquaintances, few friends? i think you legitimately stopped believing in love. at least the mushy 'at first sight' and 'meet cute' and 'soulmates' kind of love. might be because of family-related things, or because of romantic relationships, but trust is a problem for you. you probably think negatively about yourself quite a bit and/or have/had a more pessimistic mindset. on the positive, i think you're really loyal when you find your people, and want to see them happy. you connect with people beyond love, you make connections that are made on living life together and going through things together. i think this is also what drew you to yunho - his perseverance, resilience, ability to smile in the face of hardship, but also his ability to navigate a lot of emotions as they come and deal with them in a healthy way. (bonus: his small expressions of affection/acts of kindness make you melt, right?)
yeosang: you've been through quite a lot, haven't you? i think you try to laugh a lot of it off or treat it lightly, but the demons eat away at you sometimes. you might be someone who burned out in/after high school, and generally does not have a good experience with school. might feel lonely even when you are not alone, sometimes just choosing to float in your imagination for comfort. often act tough or not quite like yourself to appear more like the you you have in your head. i think in part you kind of want to learn how to love the world like yeosang, and are really touched by his sweetness and his humor. you are a fighter and despite it all, do stay true to yourself and your values, and this is something that you find and adore in yeosang. you are drawn in by his ability to follow his dream, and his heart of gold. maybe your scars will turn golden too. (bonus: you probably have a mild obsession with his one-liners)
san: how are your boundaries, broken like the wall? you probably have some trouble with setting and/or maintaining boundaries, and so sometimes have people treading over you. you might feel like a side character in your own life, and so turn bitter and internalize a lot of negative energy. honestly on a brighter note i think you really do try hard for others, and go out of your way to try and make dreams happen for others, because it makes them and you happy. you cheer, you support and you truly show that you are on a loved one's team. I feel that what draws you to san is how he transformed himself in a healthy manner, and how he maintains a very clear circle of those he trusts, and is no stranger to kindly setting rules in place while still remaining sweet and respectful. he is a safe space for you both because he makes you smile with his stories and jokes, but also because he is adamant on keeping things in order. (bonus: his reaction to the merch donation story lives rent free in your mind)
mingi: got some problems with regulating emotions, maybe? be it hiding them until you burst or not knowing how to express them, i think this might be a challenge for you. you might have been exposed to something that made you believe that it is a sign of weakness or a risk. at the same time, you are logical, damn good at what you do, and when you face hard times you bounce back, even if it takes some time. i think you and mingi share the introspectiveness, and you like how thoughtful he is. you probably find comfort in how he shares happiness with others, and how he seeks closeness with loved ones. at the same time, there is something about how he transforms on stages that resonates with you - the power and confidence is something you want to work on and find more of in yourself. (bonus: your will never stop thinking about mingi's creative process monologues + freestyle mingi)
wooyoung: do people tell you you have a big personality, or that you are 'a lot' sometimes? i feel like you have your way of working, your way of thinking, but might have a hard time actually communicating that or adapting to different social environments. it might be because you're headstrong, or because you are in constant fight or flight mode and so are more rigid. at the same time i think you are diligent and very detailed with what you do, and are in fact attentive to others and might notice things others don't. i feel like what you admire in wooyoung is his ability to connect with others, while not losing himself or his values. you feel for his hardships, and he helps you learn how to be more loving and more open with expressing and accepting love. he is very much your candle. (bonus: you cried because of his interview + dance in that one show, didn't you?)
jongho: how many thoughts are spinning in your head? you might be an overthinker, slightly misanthropic, and on bad days might sink to having a victim mindset and ask the universe 'why me?'. you might have had to grow up too fast, or were controlled a lot as a kid - either way, your understanding and experience of freedom and maturity might be warped. at the same time you are reliable and are able to call things out for what they are. you might have also put a positive spin on the negatives and either used them as inspiration, grew from them, or taken a skill from them that you then generalized. i think jongho's humor and innate warmth is your haven, and his continuous self-development grounds you and motivates you to also try your best and think of ways to find the good in situations. i feel you might also resonate with his occasional shyness. (bonus: you often think about his emotional strength even when he talks about his concerns, don't you?)
#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez fluff#ateez scenarios#ateez au#hongjoong#seonghwa#yunho#yeosang#san#mingi#wooyoung#jongho#ateez ot8#ateez fic#atz#atiny#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#ateez fanfic#》original
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The fandom echo chamber: fanon, microanalysis and conspiracy brain
As someone who has been in fandom spaces, on and off, for 20 years, I find some fascinating trends popping up in the last decade that I thought to be fandom-specific but clearly aren’t. So, I would like to do a little examination of where those things come from, how they are engaged with, and what it says about the way we consume media. This is a think piece, of sorts, with my brain being the main source. As such, we will spend some time down the memory lane of a fandom-focused millennial.
This is largely brought about by Good Omens. But it’s also not really about Good Omens at all.
Part one. Fanon.
The way we see characters in any story is always skewed by our very selves. This is a neutral statement, and it does not have a value judgement. It’s simply unavoidable. We recognise aspects of them, love aspects of them, and choose aspects of them to highlight based entirely on our own vision of the universe.
Recognition comes into this. There is a reason so many protagonists of romance novels have a “blank slate” problem. Even when they do not, we love characters who are like us or versions of us that we would like to be. And when we say “we”, I also mean, “me”.
(I remember very clearly this realisation hit me after a whole season of Doctor Who with writing which I hated utterly when I questioned why I still clung so incredibly hard to Clara Oswald as my favourite companion. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Oh. Well. That would do it, wouldn’t it?)
Then, there is projection, and, again, this is a neutral statement. Projection exists, and it is completely normal and, dare I say it, valid way of engaging with — well, anything. Is the character queer? Trans? Neurodivergent? Are they in love? Do they like chocolate? Are they a cat person? Well, yes, if this is what the text says, but if the text does not say anything… You tell me. Please, do tell me. Because, in that moment of projection, they are yours.
And then, there is fandom osmosis, and that is the most fascinating one of them all, the one that is not very easy to note while you are inside the echo chamber. It’s the way we collectively, consciously or not, make decisions on who or what the characters are, what their relationships are, and what happens to them.
(Back when I was writing egregiously long Guardian recaps on this blog I actually asked if Shen Wei’s power being learning actually was stated anywhere in the canon of the show. Because I had no idea. I have read and reread dozen of fanfics where that is the case, and at some point through enough repetition, it became reality.)
We are all kind of making our own reality here, aren’t we?
Back when things were happening in a much less centralised manner - in closed livejournal groups, and forums of all shapes and sizes - I don’t remember there being quite as much universally agreed upon fanon. Frankly, I don’t remember much of universally agreed upon anything. But now, everything is in one place: we have this, and we have AO3, and it’s wonderful, it really is so much easier to navigate, but it’s also one gigantic reality-shifting echo chamber, with blogs, reblogs, trends, and rituals.
Accessibility plays its part, too. If you were, say, in Life on Mars (UK) fandom between seasons, and you wanted to post your speculation fic, you had to have had an account, and then find and gain access to one of the bigger groups (lifein1973 was my poison, but ymmv), and then, if you feel brave you may post it, but also, you may want to do so from your alt account if you wanted to keep yours separate, and then you would have to go through the whole process again. And I’m not saying that fan creations then were somehow inherently better for it than fan creations now (although Life on Mars Hiatus Era is perhaps a bad example - because some of the Speculation Fic there was breathtaking), but there is something to say about the ease of access that made the fandoms go through a big bang of sorts.
(I mean, come on, I can just come here and post this - and I am certain people will read it, and this blog is a pandemic cope baby about Chinese television for goodness sake.)
The canon transformations that happen in the fandom echo chamber truly are fascinating to witness as someone who is more or less a fandom butterfly. I get into something, float around for a bit, then get into something else and move on. I might come back eventually when the need arises, but I don’t sustain a hiatus mind-state. This means that when I float away and return, I find some very intriguing stuff.
Let’s actually look at Good Omens here. Season two aired, and I found it spectacular in its cosy and anguished way; deliberately and intelligently fanfic-y in its plot building; simple but subversive, and so very tender. (I will have to circle back to this eventually, because, truly, I love how deliberately it takes the tropes and shatters them - it’s glorious). And, to me - a person who read the book, watched the first season, hung around AO3 for a few weeks and moved on - absolutely on-point in terms of characterisation.
So imagine my surprise when the fandom disagreed so vehemently that there are actual multi-tiered theories on how characters were not in possession of their senses. Nothing there, in my mind, ever contradicted any of the stated text, as it stood. This remained a strange little mystery until I did what I always do when I flutter close to an ongoing fandom.
I loaded AO3 and sorted the existing fic by popularity. And there it was, all there: the actual earth-shattering mutual devotion of the angel and the demon; willingness to Fall; openness and long heart-aching confession speeches. There was all of the fanon surrounding Aziraphale and Crowley, which, to me, read as out of character, and to one for whom they became the reality over the last four years, read as truth.
Again, only neutral statements here. This is not a bad thing, and neither this is a good thing, this is just something that happens, after a while, especially when there are years for the fandom-born ideas to bounce around and stew. I can’t help but think that so much of what we see as real in spaces such as this one is a chimaera of the actual source and all the collective fan additions which had time and space to grow, change, develop, and inspire, reverberating over and over again, until the echoes fill the entirety of the space.
Eventually, this chimaera becomes a reality.
Part two. Microanalysis
Here are my two suppositions on the matter:
1. Some writers really love breadcrumb storytelling.
Russel T Davies, for instance, on his run of Doctor Who (and, if you are reading it much later - I do mean the original one), loved that technique for his seasonal arcs. What is a Bad Wolf? Who is Harold Saxon? Well, you can watch very very carefully, make a theory, and see it proven right or wrong by the end of the season.
Naturally, mystery box writers are all about breadcrumb storytelling: your Losts and your Westworlds are all about giving you snippets to get your brain firing, almost challenging you to figure things out just ahead of the reveal.
2. We, as humans, love breadcrumbs.
And why wouldn’t we? Breadcrumbs are delicious. They are, however, a seasoning, or a coating. They are not the meal.
Too much metaphor?
Let’s unpack it and start from the beginning.
Pattern recognition colours every aspect of our lives, and it colours the way we view art to a great extent. I think we truly underestimate how much it’s influenced by our lived experiences.
If you are, broadly speaking, living somewhere in Western/North-Western Europe in the 14th century, and you see a painting in which there is a very very large figure surrounded by some smaller figures and holding really tiny figures, you may know absolutely nothing about who those figures are, but you know that the big figure is the Important One, and the small ones are Less Important Ones, and the tiny ones are In Their Care. You know where your reverence would lie, looking at this picture. And, I imagine, as someone living in the 14th century, you may be inspired to a sense of awe looking at this composition, because in the world you live in, this is how art works.
If you, on the other hand, watch a piece of recorded media and see the eyes of two characters meet as the violins swell, you know what you are being told at that moment. You don’t have to have a film degree to feel a sort of way when you see a green-tinged pallet used, when cross-cuts use juxtaposing images, or notice where your focus is pulled in any given shot. This stuff - this recognition of patterns - has been trained into us by the simple fact that we live in this time, on this planet, and we have been doing so long enough to have engaged recorded media for a period of time.
As humans, we notice things. Our brains flare up when they see something they recognise, and then we seek to find other similar details and form a bigger picture. This often happens unconsciously, but sometimes it does not. Sometimes we do it on purpose: finding breadcrumbs in stories is a little bit like solving a mystery. It allows us to stretch that brain muscle that puts two and two together. It makes us feel clever.
So yes, we love breadcrumbs, and, frankly, quite a lot of storytelling takes advantage of this. It’s very useful for foreshadowing, creating thematic coherence, or introducing narrative parallels and complexity. It’s useful for nudging the viewer into one or the other emotional direction, or to cue them into what will happen in the next moment, or what exactly is the one important detail they should pay attention to.
Because this is something media does intentionally, and something we pick up both consciously and not, it is very hard to know when to stop. We don't really ever know when all of the breadcrumbs have been collected. It becomes very easy to get carried away. There is a very specific kind of pleasure in digging into content frame by frame, soundbite by soundbite, chasing that pleasure of finding.
But it is almost never breadcrumbs all the way down. They are techniques to help us focus on the main event: the story. I truly believe those who make media want it to reach the widest possible audience, and that includes all of us who like to watch every single thing ever created with our Media Analysis Goggles on and those who are just here to enjoy the twists and turns of the story at the pace offered to them. And I think, sometimes in our chase to collect and understand every little clue we forget that media is not made to just cater for us.
One can call it missing a forest for the trees. But I would hate to mix my metaphors, so let’s call it missing a schnitzel for the breadcrumbs.
Part three. The Conspiracy Brain.
If you are there with me, in the midst of the excited frenzy, chasing after all those delicious breadcrumbs, then patterns can grow, merge together, and become all-encompassing theories. Let’s call them conspiracy theories, even though this is not what they truly are.
So, why do we believe in conspiracy theories?
One, Because We Have Been Lied To.
All conspiracies start with distrust.
If you are in fandom spaces - especially if you are in fandom spaces which revolve around a queer fictional couple - especially-especially if you have been in such spaces for a period of time, you have most certainly been lied to at one point or another.
We don’t even have to talk about Sherlock - and let’s not do that - but do you remember Merlin? Because I remember Merlin. Specifically, I remember the publicity surrounding the first season, with its weaponised usage of “bromance” and assertions that this whole thing is a love story of sorts, and then the daunting realisation that this was all a stunt, deliberately orchestrated to gather viewership.
And, because we were lied to in such a deliberate manner for such an extensive period of time, I genuinely believe that it forever altered our pattern recognition habits, because what was this if not encouragement to read into things? Now we are trained to read between the lines or see little cries for help where they might not be. Because we were told, over and over again, that we should.
(Yes, I think we are all existing in these spaces coloured by the trauma of queer-bating. I am, however, looking forward to a world where I can unlearn all of that.)
Two, Cognitive Dissonance.
The chain reaction works a bit like this: the world is wrong - it can’t possibly be wrong by coincidence - this must be on purpose - someone is responsible for it.
Being Lied To is a preamble, but cognitive dissonance is where it all originates. In so many cross-fandom theories I have noticed a four-step process:
A) this is not good
B) this author could not have made a mistake
C) this must be done on purpose
D) here is why
(Funny thing is, I have been on the receiving end of the small conspiracy spiral, and it is a very interesting experience. Not relevant to this conversation is the fact that a lot of my job revolves around storytelling. What is relevant is that my hobbies also revolve around storytelling. And one of them is DnD. Now, imagine my genuine shock when one of the players I am currently writing a campaign for noticed a small detail that did not make a logical sense within the complexity of the world, and latched on to it as something clearly indicating some kind of a secret subplot. Their thinking process also went a bit like this: this detail is not a good piece of writing — this DM knows how to tell stories well — this is obviously there on purpose. It was not there on purpose. I created a clumsy shorthand. I erred, in that pesky manner humans tend to. And, seeing this entire thought process recited to me directly in the moment, I felt somewhere between flattered and mortified.)
This whole line of thinking, I think, exists on a knife’s edge between veneration and brutal criticism, relentlessly dissecting everything “wrong”, with a reverent “but this is deliberate” attached to it like a vice, because it is preferable to a simple conclusion that the author let you down, in one way or another.
Three, Intentionality
I believe that there is no right or wrong way of engaging with stories, regardless of their medium, and assuming no one gets hurt in the process. While in a strictly academic way, there is a “correct” way of reading (and reading into) media, we here are largely not academics but consumers; consumption is subjective.
However, this all changes when intentionality is ascribed.
The one I find particularly fascinating is the intentionality of “making it bad on purpose” because, as open-minded as I intend to always be, this just does not happen.
It certainly does not happen in long-form media. Even in the bread-crumb mystery box-type long-form media.
When television programs underdeliver, they also underperform, and then they get cancelled.
If all the elements of Westworld Season 4 that did not sit together in a completely satisfactory way were written deliberately as some sort of deconstruction for the final season to explore, then it failed because that final season will now never come.
(There will likely never be a Secret Fourth Episode.)
And look, I am not here to refute your theories. Creativity is fun, and theorising is fantastic.
But, perhaps, when the line of thought ventures into the “bad on purpose” territory, it could be recognised for what it is: disappointment and optimism, attempting to coexist in a single space. And I relate to that, I do, and I am sorry that there is even a need for this line of thinking. It’s always so incredibly disappointing that a creator you believed to be devoid of flaws makes something that does not hit in the way you hoped it would. It’s pretty heartbreaking.
Unfortunately, people make mistakes. We are all fallible that way.
Four, Wildfire.
Then, when the crumbs are found, a theory is crafted, and intentionality is ascribed, all that needs to happen is for it to catch on. And hey, what better place for it than this massive hollow funnel that we exist in, where thoughts, ideas and interpretations reverberate so much they become inextricable from the source material in collective consciousness.
Conspiracy theories create alternate realities, very much like we all do here.
So where are we now?
I am not here to tell you what is right and what is wrong; what is true, and what is not. We are all entitled to engage with anything we wish, in whichever way we wish to do it. This is not it, at all.
All I am saying is… listen.
Do you hear that echo?
I do.
#fandom thoughts#fanon#good omens#good omens 2#bbc sherlock#merlin bbc#think piece#it's been years and I still have no idea how to tag#conspiracy theories#fandom content#all fandoms
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💗🍰BECOMING SELFISH IS THE BEST THING I DID💗🍰
This post is my notes of thewizardliz video of the same topic as this post . I always tend to lose the notes I make 😑, so I thought that I should make a post on this ( lol )
💗STOP ARGUING WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T WILLING TO LISTEN
If the boundaries were crossed, the conversation is over . They aren't worth your time or energy.
🍰START PRIORITIZING YOUR OWN NEEDS & WANTS
" Whatever I want , goes first ". Fill your own cup first, Are you whole ? Are you okay ?
💗STOP BEING ALWAYS AVAILABLE & TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE
You cannot save everyone. To be honest , you cannot same anyone . If a person does not want to change , if a person doesn't want to be saved,you will not save anyone & just end up losing your energy.
🍰SOMETIMES YOU HELPING IS ACTUALLY SABOTAGING GOD'S PLAN
People get certain problems / situations in their life because God gives them , it's for them to go through. So they can become wiser & fulfill their life purpose. If someone is stepping in & trying to be their savior , they are sabotaging God's plan & blocking their own blessings.
💗START BEING OKAY WITH PEOPLE MISUNDERSTANDING YOU
They don't have to understand you. It's very reasonable they don't understand you , people have come from different countries , culture, environment. They don't have the same mindset or heart as you. You cannot make them understand you because they aren't you. If you constantly go through life thinking everybody has the same heart as you , you will be hurt . People are different. Let them be.
🍰REALISE THAT YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF
Humans love comfort. In order to change, it requires alot of courage , strength & discomfort. If you are constantly putting your energy trying to change people , to become their best version. You are wasting your energy that you can use to become your best version. Lead by example .
💗STOP NEEDING PEOPLE TO VALIDATE YOUR SELF WORTH
You don't need anyone to tell you how good , smart or beautiful you are , if you already see those qualities in yourself. If you only feel that you are a good person when someone else tells you that you are a good person, if you need validation from other people , then you are just a slave of other people because their opinion can change your reality.When you are the one who always creates their own reality. You have to be strong in your own self , tell yourself how amazing you are.
🍰TALK TO YOURSELF , TAKE YOURSELF ON A DATE , HUG YOURSELF , COMPLIMENT YOURSELF
Say in the mirror how amazing you are to yourself.
💗LESS CHASING MORE ATTRACTING
Tune in with your feminine energy . Be relaxed, just do what is good for you & your body. Become open to receiving to your blessings & manifestations. If you aren't desperately chasing after things , then you are really whole.
🍰ONLY ADDING GREAT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
Allow people who add value in your life. Do they make you happy ? Is it a both way thing ?.
💗STOP SEEKING PEOPLE'S PERMISSION TO DO WHAT YOU WANT.
You don't need anyone's permission to do what is good for yourself. You know yourself well enough. " I know I can do it & I will do it " . Others opinions should be irrelevant to you , how cocky people can be to think that they know you better than you know yourself. They haven't gone through anything you have gone through. They haven't lived your life so who are they to decide what is good for you ? " Mmmm..none of your buisness ,goodbye "
#liz is so iconic#self concept#affirmations#law of assumption#neville goddard#loa#it girl#master manifestor#self concept affirmations#affirm and persist#assume and persist#the wizard liz#be selfish#self improvement#self esteem#self worth#thewizardliz#self concept icons#it girl mentality#femmefatale#self help#self love#self care#dream life
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I've noticed that people take writing advice way too literally and then get really mad about it, so here's a quick guide of what the typical "bad' writing advice is actually trying to tell you.
[Note: you don't have to take literally any piece of advice. It's just there for your consideration. If you hate it, leave it and do things the way you want. But the reason all of this advice is regurgitated so often is because it has helped a lot of people, so it's okay if it's not for you, but it may still be life changing for someone else.]
Write Every Day
"Write every day" is NOT supposed to be a prescriptivist, unbreakable rule that dictates anyone who doesn't write literally every day isn't a real writer. It's supposed to be a shorthand way of saying "establish a writing routine. Get used to writing at certain times or in certain places or in certain patterns, both so that you can trick yourself into writing even when you don't feel like it by recreating certain conditions, but also because if you only write "when you're in the mood", you may never get around to finishing a project and you likely won't be able to meet publishing deadlines if you decide to pursue publication."
The point of this advice is basically just to get used to seeing writing as part of your daily routine, something that you do regularly. But if you decide you can't write on Tuesdays or weekdays or any day when you have certain other activities, that's literally fine. Just try to make it a habit if you can.
2. Show Don't Tell
"Show don't tell" DOES NOT AND HAS NEVER meant "never state anything plainly and explicitly in the text". Again, "show don't tell" is a shorthand, and its intended message is "things tend to feel a lot more satisfying when your reader is able to come to that conclusion on their own rather than having the information given to them and being told they just have to accept it." It's about giving your reader the pieces to put the puzzle of your book together on their own rather than handing them a finished puzzle and saying "there. take it."
So if you have a character who's very short-tempered, it's typically more satisfying that you "show" them losing their cool a few times so that the reader can draw the conclusion on their own that this character is short-tempered rather than just saying "He was short-tempered". Oftentimes, readers don't want to take what you tell them at face value, so if you just state these sorts of details, readers will push back against that information. People are significantly more likely to believe literally any information they are able to draw conclusions on without being told what to believe, so that's where this advice comes in.
3. In Medias Res
This one is so often misunderstood. "In medias res" or "start in the middle", DOES NOT MEAN to literally start halfway through your plot. It also DOES NOT MEAN that you should start in the middle of an action packed scene. It just means that when you start your story, it should feel like the world and the characters already existed before we started following them. It shouldn't feel like everything was on pause and the world and characters only started acting the moment the story begins.
This is why starting with a character waking up or something similar can feel jarring and slow. We want to feel instantly compelled by your character, and the most efficient way to do that is [typically] to have them already doing something, but that something can be anything from taking a shower to commuting to school to chopping off a dragon head. We just want to feel like the story is already moving by the time we enter.
4. Shitty First Drafts
The idea that you should let your first draft suck and not revise it as you go is a tip presented to combat the struggle a lot of people have with not being able to finish a draft. If you find you've been working on the same first draft for five years and barely gotten anywhere, you might want to try this advice. The point is to just focus on getting to the ending because finishing a draft can give you renewed energy to work on the book and also makes it easier to get feedback from readers and friends.
That said, if your story is flowing fine even as you go back and make edits, then don't worry about this. This is advice specifically designed to target a problem. Likewise, this doesn't mean that you can't clean up typoes when you see them or even make minor edits if you want to. It just means not to let yourself get completely bogged down by making changes that you never move forward.
A "shitty first draft" also doesn't mean that your story has to be completely illegible. It just means that you shouldn't let perfectionism stop you yet. I see a lot of people say "well, I can't keep going until this first part makes sense", and that's totally reasonable! Again, the point of this advice is just to get you out of that rut that keeps you from making progress, but if you spend a couple weeks editing and then move on or you find the book is still making forward strides while you edit, then you're fine. You don't need this.
5. Adverbs
The idea that you "shouldn't use adverbs" DOES NOT MEAN that any time you use an adverb, you're ruining your story. It just means that you shouldn't *rely* on adverbs to carry your story, namely in places where stronger verbs or nouns would do a lot more heavy lifting.
For instance, you can write "she spoke quietly", but generally speaking, that "quietly" there is a lot weaker than just subbing out this clause for "she whispered". You probably have the word "spoke" all over your draft, so subbing out one instance of it here for a stronger verb in place of the same verb + an adverb makes for stronger prose. This doesn't mean that you'll never want to use the phrase "spoke quietly" over the word "whispered". For instance, if I write, "When she finally spoke, she spoke quietly, like that was all the volume her weakened lungs could muster." In this case, I'm using "spoke quietly" specifically *because* it echoes the previous spoke earlier in the sentence, and it evokes a certain level of emotion to have that repetition there. I also used it because she's not actually "whispering", but trying to speak at full volume only to come off sounding quiet.
So when people tell you to cut adverbs, they're saying this because people often use adverbs as a crutch to avoid having to seek out stronger verbs. If you're using your adverbs intentionally, having considered stronger verbs but ultimately deciding that this adverb is what does the job properly, then there's nothing wrong with using them. This is just a trick to help you spot one common weakness in prose that a lot of authors don't even realize they have.
6. Write What You Know
This is potentially the single worst-underestood piece of writing advice. "Write what you know" DOES NOT MEAN to write only what you know or that you have to put all of your life's knowledge on the page. It just means that drawing from your own experiences and already there knowledge will help you craft a better story.
So, for instance, being an eye doctor doesn't mean you have to write a story about an eye doctor. It doesn't even mean you need to write a story that directly deals with any eye knowledge. It just means that there are likely things you've experience as an eye doctor that can help inspire or inform your story. Maybe you remember a patient who always wore the same yellow shoes, and so you include a character who does exactly that. Maybe you spent a lot of hours dealing with insurance so you decide to write about insurance agents. Maybe your practice was located next to a grocery store so you decide to write a zombie apocalypse story that takes place in a location inspired by that shopping center.
The point is that, as people, our lived experiences allow us to relate to other people and craft more believable worlds. So don't limit yourself to your lived or experience or feel obligated to only write the things you've done, but when you find yourself wondering what to write about next or how to give a character more depth or how to describe this random location, pull things from your life and let what you already know bring a certain level of unique you-ness to your writing.
And the MOST important advice I can give you is to stop looking at writing advice as some holy, unbreakable rules passed down by the gods that you cannot ever deviate from. And if a piece of advice sounds totally bonkers, do some research on it. There's a good chance that whoever's passing it to you has no idea what they're talking about. But even if every other writer swears by a certain piece of advice, you absolutely do not need to take it. Try it on if you want, and throw it away if you don't, but stop making yourselves miserable by letting random internet people dictate your life. Most people giving advice on the internet aren't where you want to be anyway, so don't expect them to be able to guide you somewhere they've never been.
Everything's made up, and nothing matters. Write what you want.
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The thing about Cass is that the law holds very little value to her sense of right and wrong compared to Bruce. She's like oh the government thinks this man should die? Let's break into the execution chamber and break him out. Tim wants to call the police? That's stupid when I can just keep fighting bad guys until I get the answers I need. A assassin hesitates before killing a kid? Projection levels firing high today let's break into the CIA baby.
But then you bring up the one area of life where there are no easy feelings, where everything is complicated and it hurts: Her childhood with David Cain. He shot her for fun and she loves him and he loves her and showed her stars and constellations as a kid and he made her kill a man. And no one will understand that for the longest time the only part of her childhood that felt clearly deep bad wrong was the kill. The rest of it was... Not fine but something she misses sometimes. And no one else will ever understand why because it doesn't make sense to anyone except Cass.
So you bring 17/18 y/o Cass a case of child abuse, especially one that's not as clear cut as physically violent parent, where the father is a good man but a criminal by law, and the mother is cold, neglectful and uncaring, and that's the one time where Cass will rely on the law. David Cain is a bad man because he made her kill. He loved her but he was a bad father because he made her a criminal. Cass sees this man who is a thief (neutral to Cass, bad to the law) who loves his daughter, and her projection levels go through the roof. Yes the woman is abusive but Cass hasn't processed her own abuse. David is bad because he's a criminal not because he hurt her. She can't make the decision who the good parent is. She can't even decide how she feels about her own father.
Except it's not true, she does make the decision. On a different day, one where Cass was not reeling from the revelation of David cain being her biological father, she might very well choose not to let the man get arrested, to help him with his daughter. The law is something Cass falls back on only when her sense of purpose is in disarray. Twice we see her falter, when she let's the father get arrested and earlier in another issue when she puts the man back on death row. Both cases she projects hard, on the death row killer and on the daughter of the thief. Both times she ends the story miserable and with a deep sense of wrongness. She followed the law, she followed their version of justice.
And her gut tells her that this is not right. This is not how things should be.
Cass believes in herself. Cass believes in gut instinct for right and wrong.
Cass believes that she is an evil murderer, not someone who can ever fully belong with the actual heroes. There is something rotten inside of her, and when the situation is too similar, when she's reminded that she was raised to be a killer, a weapon who can never truly be good, just desperately trying to prove herself while feeling she never can...
Cass deferres to the law. And she hates every second of it almost as much as she hates herself.
#dc#cassandra cain#Dc rambles#Like a full proper incoherent stream of thought ramble wow it's been a while#Batfam#Please read batgirl 2000 Cass is not a perfect angel she's a complex character with flaws that feel#Like a gut punch to read#Favourite comic book character of all time because of it not in spite of it#David Cain
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On note of the Blockbuster thing and Dick’s over working himself, I can recall a time when after the first time Blockbuster got taken out, Dick was so lost emotionally and mentally, he went for months on end getting the absolute hardest cases and capers imaginable, getting more illnesses and injuries so much and frequently. It got so bad Bruce and Alfred had to drag him to the Batcave and Bruce had to get some tough love across.
He let Dick know that he was upset at him for failing to take care of himself and self forgive for what happened to Blockbuster. He forgives Dick for the latter case but will not tolerate Dick losing the value of his own life in self pity and guilt
Thoughts on this?
YES!!!
Dick overworks himself so hard that he kinda passes out and dreams so vivid that they're almost hallucinogenic but when he wakes up-
Nightwing (2016) Issue #117
Bruce is PISSED. Ofcourse it's gotta be because Dick let Blockbuster die right? He just stepped aside and let Catalina take the shot despite the no kill. He broke the OATH the two of them had forged. That's why Bruce is mad right?!
Nightwing (2016) Issue #117
WRONG WRONG WRONG!!
Nightwing (2016) Issue #117
"You have no right to expect me to excuse you - for losing sight of the value of yours."
CMON BRUCE!!
He basically said "I don't care if you killed someone. If you want me to forgive you fine. But don't you dare fucking think for one second that I'll forgive you for almost dying."
Bruce is crazy about Dick. I've already talked before how he has control issues regarding Dick life but I want to reiterate that Bruce wants control of Dick's everything. His life, his relationships, his death.
You can see the visible rage in Bruce's body. You can see how hard he grips Dick's chin. He's furious that Dick would put his life below anyone's.
This isn't the only time Bruce gets furious at Dick almost dying either. Remember Forever Evil?
Nightwing (2011) Issue #30
His sole reason for beating Dick is LITERALLY beat his frustrations and fear that Dick almost died!! He's the one that died Bruce!! Why are YOU mad?!
The thing about Dick and Bruce's relationship or rather Bruce's relationship with Dick is that Dick could literally be standing in a room of blood and corpses and the first thing Bruce would do is rush over to him and check if he's okay. And then scold him because "what if they're blood accidentally got into you, Dick? Haven't I told you the dangers of bloodborne pathogens and other transmittable viruses? How dare you let them hurt you!"
Bruce has a no kill rule but sometimes when Dick's life is in danger he definitely looks the other way. No punishment if Dick does something to someone else but he travels at the speed of light when Dick lets something bad happen to him.
Not only that, he doesn't mind other people dying if it means saving Dick's life. Between the world surviving and Dick, he will always choose Dick. And how do I know that? Because he's done it before.
Forever Evil Issue #5
"No, this is a search and rescue mission first--"
"Richard Grayson?"
"Yes, Luthor. Once Nightwing's safe, we can take down the syndicate."
The world is in SHAMBLES.
Central City
Forever Evil Issue #3
Metropolis
Forever Evil Issue #3
The justice league is gone.
The villains who actually wanted the end of the world are so shocked by the state it's in now that they've decided to become heroes. But none of that matters. It doesn't matter to Bruce that half the population is gone, people are killing, stealing, and dying. As long as Dick is alive - it's okay.
In fact an entire world could be corrupted beyond saying but as long as Dick isn't then it's a world worth saving.
Forever Evil Issue #3
Do you realize what this means? It means that Bruce's scale of measurement for evaluating the quality of a whole fucking planet IS Dick Grayson.
Even an hyper-intelligent construction questions what happens if his favorite, Dick, dies.
Infinite Crisis Issue #3
What happened after Blockbuster, where Bruce completely ignored the death of him. Ah-I said ignored but the reality is created an excuse for - is completely in line with his relationship with Dick and more importantly highlights two things.
Breaking the no-kill rule is acceptable if it's Dick Grayson or relates to Dick Grayson.
Bruce is crazy about Dick and he will go crazy for him.
#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#blockbuster#clark kent#superman#lex luthor#rogue gallery#alfred pennyworth#cl paladin of nerdfandom65 asks#thanks for the ask!
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here is the thing
when i started playing bg3, i didn't expect wyll to be so devoted to karlach. her devotion to him is a given; the guy risked his life to save her when they had literally just met. of course he matters so much to her
but wyll matched that same devotion right back, as if she had been the one to save him, even though karlach never really got the chance to do anything of that magnitude back for him
but then i think about it
mizora's punishment plays directly into wyll's worst trauma. to be suddenly branded as demonic, so people will always look at him and see that first. like his father did. like the whole city, everyone who ever knew him, did. no amount of good deeds will ever be enough to compensate for his association with evil; his soul will burn in hell and he will not be welcome anywhere because he's a greedy warlock who made his choice. i don't know if that is actually true, but he certainly thinks it to be, if anything, from his assumption that the people of the grove (whose lives he had just saved, and who had known him for at least a few days as nothing but a kind hero who looked out for them) would be unable to look past his appearance and wouldn't want him near them
and mind, mizora clearly wants wyll to stay isolated. why else would she forbid him from explaining the circumstances of his pact? what could she possibly gain from that, other than making sure he can never dispel the notion that he made a deal with the devil simply for power?
so it makes sense that that, more even than the non-consensual body modification, was the punishment. to put his warlock status on display, so that people would immediately be offput by him - and even if they aren't, he will be sure they are
his own father couldn't stand to look at him, and that was back when he had just lost an eye
but the first thing karlach tells him is this:
"Thank you for seeing me for who I really am. And... I think I can see you for who you really are, too. A hero"
obviously, it's common sense for her to see him like this after he just saved her life at great, and at the time unknown, personal cost. but it would also have been common sense for his father to know that the son he himself raised and who's nothing if not a paragon of kindness and duty wouldn't just decide to sell his soul for power out of the blue one fine day. or that, if he keeps trying to say something but can't, then there might be more to the story. for fuck's sake, he lost an eye. and yet, ulder didn't. wyll's association with the demonic was enough to dispel everything about his personhood, his values, and his actions. and now said association was branded, quite literally, on his forehead
and karlach's suffered so much at the hands of devils. just like with the other tieflings, he expects her to be unsettled by him, at the very least
but then she says that she looks at him and sees only a hero. the man who saved her. the man who cared enough to listen and do what was right. the man who sacrificed something for her, who had to make a choice no one should have to make
he had saved an entire city when he first made the pact, and yet not one soul in it was able to see that. see him
but karlach did
karlach does
and not only that. not only is she the first person in perhaps his whole life to put more weight to wyll's personhood and actions than to mizora's; but she knew he needed to hear that. she says it like someone who's trying to offer a comfort in a hopeless situation, which is exactly what she's doing. she knows that he is afraid of being rejected
and of course she does
she is the one who comes closest to fully understanding him.
can you imagine being wyll and seeing karlach's story play out in dizzyingly rapid succession in your mind? had a pretty good, happy life, then in the span of one day everything changed when she was associated with the demonic. she lost everything and everyone she ever had. from then on, she only knew one thing: to fight. no rest and no friends and no breaks, just endless, senseless fighting. her body was changed against her will. she hadn't been touched in a positive way in ten years. even fucking mizora was there
that's his story, too
sure, he might not have been literally unable to touch people, but neither was karlach when she was in hell. he's been completely alone except for mizora for the last seven years, at least in the ways that matter. nothing in his life was constant, except for the fighting and the humiliation at a devil's hand. and the loneliness
of course he thinks it's a trick. it hits too close to home
and of course he can't help but listen anyway. because wyll is nothing if not compassionate, and he's just watched a tldr of his own pain inflicted on someone else
so when karlach says that she still sees him as himself first?
he is reminded that she gets it
for the first time in seven years, he is not alone, and he is understood
of course he would do anything to keep her in his life, just as she would
in a way, she did save him, too.
(slightly late meta submission for @thekindredcollective's wyllstravaganza2024, day 19: bond)
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#wyllstravaganza2024#wyll ravengard#karlach cliffgate#wyllach#although it's still true from a platonic perspective honestly. that's one of the things i love about them#whether you see it as romantic or platonic changes nothing#meta#overflowing trashcan
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OMG IM HERE. lukey pookie with a corruption kink is very obvious in ur writing and i love u So Bad for that
i feel like this stems from a superiority/inferiority complex he gets from being under the gods’ thumb his whole life, being told he’s just a demigod. no, he’s worse than a demigod, he’s one of those monsters that hunts demigods down, that wants to make gods bleed.
he is depraved, he is wicked, he joined kronos to prove a point about himself— but before he leaves camp he wants to make sure r is willing to sink down to the depths with him in the most carnal way he knows how, with the nastiest sex possible !!!!!!!!
whyd i get into the lore im crying but yeah he likes humiliating and teasing r and likes the way it makes her double take but ultimately succumb to his fantasies <3
and he needs to prove himself. he needs someone to see how wicked he can be. he's not the golden child he's painted himself to be and he's eager to rid himself of that image, to wash off the paint and clear the ichor from his blood as best as he can.
he values your perception of him. he needs you to see him down to his core. he needs you to understand exactly who luke castellan is.
talking doesn't do it for you. just using his words doesn't work so he has a hand slung around the back of your neck and he's pressing his lips to yours so tightly that he actually considers if he could bruise them like this. and if he can't, he'll just overcompensate with his lips on your neck and shoulders and his hands gripping your body like he owns it. like you're his.
it's how he treats you the entire time.
he reassures you that, no, he isn't here to hurt you. you aren't the first body he plans to claim from the hit list. you're his first recruit. he needs you, his pretty, pliant girlfriend by his side if he's going to do this.
but there's not much of an option given to you. he tells you the plans, constantly saying "we" and "our" like you're guaranteed to agree.
which, you likely are. because no one treats you as good as luke does. even though he's a little weird and freaky, he's your luke. the same guy that's expertly massaging your insides. yeah he's being mean about it, laughing in your face when you moan as he spits on your cunt, speaking to you like you're nothing while he asks if you want him to spit in your mouth again, too. tapping your cheek aggressively harder when you start to go nonverbal, making you look at him and asking if "it's that good".
he dumbs you down, makes you see his pretty face through rose tinted glasses.
#i like getting into the lore#im a lore person#celeste + sanriohrtz#celeste writes pjo#lukesworld!#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan x you
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might be bit of a stupid question, and you may have even discussed it before. if so, sorry for asking again.
but: do you think aang forgives ozai, or does he just show mercy? aang seems to have a clear stance on the importance of forgiveness, however, the final moments of his battle with ozai are visually paralleled with katara's attack on her mother's killer - and katara is clear on the fact the she has not (and will not) forgive him. she just shows him mercy, i suppose.
do you think this sentiment is paralleled in these two scenes? do you think aang manages to actually forgive ozai, or is he just showing mercy in order to protect the values of his culture?
to be perfectly honest, the thought of whether or not aang’s decision to spare ozai is one of forgiveness never actually crossed my mind. you’re right that the issue of mercy is tied to forgiveness in “the southern raiders,” but i always read that issue of forgiveness as far less straightforward than a question of whether or not katara will forgive yon rha, and more so whether katara can forgive herself (and by extension zuko). as aang says, “revenge is a two headed rat viper,” and the reason he’s advocating that katara find room for forgiveness within herself is not because he gives a shit whether the man who murdered her mother will die or not (he doesn’t care if others kill as long as he doesn’t have blood on his hands, as evidenced by his relationship to sokka and toph), but whether katara will be able to live with herself after the fact. and he knows her, so he knows that she won’t.
by sparing yon rha, katara forgives herself for her own guilt in having to carry the burden of knowing her mother sacrificed herself to save her, lets herself rest and simply be a human person instead of dedicating herself to the pursuit of vengeance, to revenge kya’s foul and most unnatural murder. because of course katara has that instinct, and of course katara feels her mother’s death more personally than sokka does, and of course she feels a responsibility to right the wrongs that she (however inadvertently) caused in whatever way she possibly can.
she finally has the skillset and the intel that allows her to carry out her revenge, but in that final moment before she strikes the final blow, she hesitates and drops her weapon, her artform that she has dedicated herself to honing in a way no one alive has ever needed to (with the exception of hama, and even then). it’s a uniquely powerful moment in a show filled with powerful moments (many of them involving katara) because she is choosing herself over yon rha, over zuko, over the memory of her mother.
she lets the illusion that she is the hero of an adventure tale wherein good triumphs over evil fade away and she embraces her own humanity though acknowledging the humanity of her enemies. yon rha isn’t a uniquely evil cackling villain (unlike someone like zhao or ozai), he’s a person, an awful person, but nonetheless a human being. a soldier who acted as the arm of a vast and complex, terrifying machine. and by looking into his face once more, the face that haunted her nightmares, katara is able to see herself reflected in the face of the other, and finally fully realizes a tapestry of the world that can not be so neatly woven.
that is what it means to forgive. when she forgives zuko, it is not because zuko has done anything to earn her forgiveness: unlike with “the boiling rock,” where he genuinely risks his life to selflessly help sokka at his lowest point, he is the instigator of katara’s entire journey, and even though he is attempting to do her a favor because he understands her intrinsic desire for revenge born of guilt and rage and shame, it is not a selfless act (that comes later). but through forgiving herself, allowing herself to relax her rigid worldview of right and wrong, good and evil, she recognizes that even if zuko did do genuinely reprehensible, awful things, it isn’t in her best interest to hold onto that anger, and by allowing herself to feel less personal responsibility and shame over her misplaced trust in zuko leading to aang’s death, she is able to forgive zuko, but only because she had already forgiven herself.
when aang shows ozai mercy, however, the issue of forgiveness isn’t even really the right term for it. he’s not forgiving ozai nor himself, here, but rather powerfully asserting that mercy is not a weakness, but a deliberate choice, and one that is born of incredible strength of character, at that. he’s forgiving his people for “not fighting back,” he’s forgiving his culture for adhering to these pacifist values, and yes, he’s forgiving himself for not being the avatar that everyone expects him to be. he’s prioritizing his people and his humanity and his grief over what the entire human world wanted from him.
and crucially, before the lion turtle showed him his truest path, aang was going to kill ozai. he was resigned to this being his destiny. unlike katara, who fully planned on killing yon rha and only decided to spare him once she saw his face, aang didn’t want to kill ozai from the very beginning, and had to be forced into killing him, rather than being talked down. sokka tells katara not to kill yon rha as gently as he possibly can (and nonetheless immediately gets shut down for it), but then he almost bullies aang for not wanting to kill. sokka considers killing a tool that should be exercised with logical intent, katara considers killing an act that makes a statement, and aang considers killing a taboo that should never be violated. of course, aang’s stance on killing is a very culturally-specific one, which yangchen also adheres to as best she can, but also understands its limits when in the position of avatar. but aang cannot afford to simply be the avatar, because he must bear the burden of his entire people’s legacy.
so at no point does forgiveness for ozai come into play, because aang has no reason to consider forgiving ozai. his decision to take down the firelord is a tactical one, rather than born purely out of a desire for revenge. but he does mirror katara’s decision to spare yon rha in sparing ozai’s life simply because, in both cases, they prioritize themselves and the preservation of their own humanity over submitting to the logic of the men who have destroyed their lives.
#the-avatars-fury#asks#i love them so much wtf….#analysis#aang#katara#aang&katara#katara&zuko#yon rha#ozai#idk who else to tag#sokka#i guess
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a message from your pain
talking about suffering is hard, but ultimately necessary. welcome to this pac, I am here to shed light on your wounds in ways that are helpful. by the way, sorry if the artwork is triggering, I tried to find the perfect ones that really encapsulate what deep pain and despair feel like, but the messages might be more soothing than the pics lol.
welcome to your reading ! just wanted to say thanks in advance for stopping by 🫡
Pile one 🖤
You're putting your sword down. Confrontation is a no no for you, isn't it? You rather die than pick up a fight again. You swallow your words, your boundaries are non existent, you're constantly on edge and anxious. Hear me out, pile one. When you're putting your sword down, you're not actually putting it down. You're shoving it right in your own stomach. I'm not telling you to become angry and start fighting everyone around you. But if you keep quiet, taking it all in, you're going to become sick. You want to keep the peace, but not your peace. You want to keep yourself small, not bothersome, for these people's comfort. If talking to the people around you is so conflict inducing, why bother having these people around at all? If your boundaries aren't heard or even allowed to be set, why bother having these people around you AT ALL? If you must live with them, consider moving somewhere more peaceful, like a family member. Take action if your words aren't welcomed. Leave. Remove yourself. Stop taking in poison, because the longer you do, the longer the healing will take. You're already feeling awful. Your suffering exist because you feel obligated to be around people who hurt you and demand you to be silent. Set yourself free. And don't try to talk to them about it. You will have to unpack all of this on your own, or with other people who will understand and hear you. Process everything you buried deep within you by journaling, speaking out loud, punching a pillow. Just let it all out. Short them you will have to slowly heal from all this crystalized, internalized abuse. Long term, recognize this pattern: whenever you feel the need to be quiet to not bother someone else, leave, and never go back to the people who did this to you.
Pile two 🖤
Oh, your pile actually resonates with the pic you chosen. I see an artist, a creative or someone who does something out of the norm. You could even be a witch, like me. The thing is, you have internalized a lot of criticism, and no longer feel as passionate as you did before. You want to create and be who you were before, but you lost your drive and motivation. It seems a lot of conflict used to exist or still exists because of your hobby, career or spirituality, and you felt like it lost the point. You could've tried to prove something to these people, you could've tried to argue, and nothing worked. Even your own progress wasn't matching to your expectations. So what if they were right? Your spark died, but now that you have worked so hard, it's hard to let go. It became your personality, it used to be your comfort, but now there's only a shadow of what it used to be. I'm not going to tell you whether you keep going or not, this is your decision. But you can regain the spark if you want to. But try to protect it better this time, whatever it is that you do. Hide it, if it is possible. Avoid taking about it to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. And go backwards. Reconnect with it, by understanding what made you so fascinated and entranced by it in the beginning. Maybe, that vision is no longer appealing, and if so, create another one. Restart from scratch, but have a vision, just like you did in the beginning. Say to yourself you are committed to falling in love again with your craft, if that's what you choose. If not, it's always ok to let it go. You can always find another something to be passionate about.
Pile three 🖤
Someone taught you that money was the only thing in life. That it defined your worth and value as a person. That nothing else was as important. That your safety was defined by the amount of money you had, from a young age or a very vulnerable period in your life. So your mind attached to the idea that if you didn't had money, you were in mortal danger, you were worthless and a nobody. Your relationship with money, regardless of how much you have or not, is distorted. You could be stable and still feel like it's not enough, or you could be just starting in adulthood and feeling very scared of the future. Money is important, yes. But it's exactly this fear, this pressure, this feeling like your life depends on it, it's paralyzing you, it's traumatizing and deeply agonizing. What will help you is basically lots of cbt. Ever heard of catastrophizing? Cognitive distortions? These could be playing a large role on your mindset and consequently, the amount of money you're able to make. These tools of cbt can help you relax and see things a bit more rationally. Since it's personal to each of you, I cannot fix your fears, but I can give you some of my tools for you to fix them yourself.
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