#and we still haven't found that self respect
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Also, Kinn turning to jelly on memory lane with Tawan?
Valid!
See, I've said it before. We all want our exes to show up so we can prove how much better we are now.
But in reality, for some of us, when those exes show up, we turn back to the same gooey, soft, giggly pieces of trash we were when we were with those exes.
Mostly because we haven't healed.
Some people are lucky that this doesn't happen. And I would have given good money to watch Kinn put Tawan in his place, everytime he tried anything.
But you see that scene with Tawan's phone?
Extremely valid.
#kinnporsche#kinn#it's 9 episode in#and we still haven't found that self respect#stand up child#stand the fuck up
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David Tennant at This Morning show with Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary talking about Good Omens Season 2, 11.07.2023 :) ❤
DO: And David joins us now. I mean, this looks like a great show.
David: Oh, yeah.
DO: So, I mean, It's pure Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, isn't it?
David: It is, yeah.
DO: The whole thing. So tell us, so if people haven't seen the first series and they want to go back, set the whole scene.
David: So I'm Hell's representative on Earth, Michael Sheen is Heaven's representative on Earth, put there to do the biding of our respective Head Offices. But we found out that if we became mates and sort of helped each other out, it kind of cut out the workload, cancelled each other out. So we're best mates. But in Series One we end up having to avert the apocalypse, which we managed to do, but as a result of that, we get cut off. So we're now living on Earth as independent individuals.
AH: So do you still need each other, then?
David: We still need each other. We've only got each other now because we don't have Heaven and Hell anymore.
DO: Because you both love earth so much, you both like.
David: Oh, we much prefer living on Earth because Heaven's a bit stuffy and Hell's awful.
DO: So you conspire to thwart the Armageddon. Exactly.
David: We thwart the Armageddon. That's fine. But Series Two begins when the angel Gabriel, Jon Hamm, who you just saw there, shows up at Aziraphale, Michael Sheen's bookshop, naked with no memory, holding a cardboard box. So suddenly we're locked into the politics of Heaven and Hell again. We don't know what's going on. We've got a mystery to solve. Why is the angel Gabriel here? The angel Gabriel tried to kill us both at the end of the last series, so we've got to...
DO: But now he's kind of got amnesia and...
David: Yes. So he becomes like our weird child, in this sort of weird sort of eternal marriage that Michael and I are locked in.
DO: So many shows now use a book as their base and then they do really well and you can see the company and the writers go, better come up some new ideas, I suppose. So the book's obviously Terry Pratchett and then Neil Gaiman, correct?
David: That's right. They wrote that together years and years and years ago. Much beloved. And that's what the first series was. But Neil and Terry had always talked about possibilities of this sequel that they never got around to making. Terry's no longer with us. But when the possibility came up, Neil thought, well, listen, I've got some ideas. Let's spin it forward. Let's see if we can tell the story we were always going to tell. So we get to come back.
AH: Should we have a little sneak look at the new series? Let's have a look. So good. Did you ever think it was going to be this successful? Did you even know that you were going to go into a second series
David: Oh, no, not at all. No. There was only one novel, so we just thought we were coming together to do that. And I didn't realise how beloved this book was. I first read a script. But it means a lot to a lot of people.
AH: And the look of you is so striking. Did you have any input into that? A bit, yeah, we sort of all found it together, myself and makeup and costume and Neil Gaiman, who ran the show. So, yeah, we kind of arrived... in the book he's a bit more - because obviously the book was sort of early ninetues, so he was a bit more sharp-suited and a bit more Wolf of Wall Street. So we've kind of had to find the kind of modern equivalent of that.
DO: Is he... obviously you're playing a demon. Has he got any humanity in him or is he purely self-centered?
David: Well, he's not a very good demon. He's good at sort of the snarl and the swagger and pretending that he's terribly cynical, but actually his problem is that he's a bit too... there’s a bit too much heart, really.
DO: He's alright
David: Yeah, yeah.
DO: Must be wonderful playing a baddie.
David: Oh, it's great fun, but he's not a baddie, is not really a baddie.
DO: Yeah, yeah.
David: And just like Aziraphale angel is not always as goody goody as he likes it, so they meet very beautifully in the middle.
DO: You and Michael Sheen. I mean, you've worked together a fair bit, don't you. I loved Staged. That was such fun.
David: Yeah!
AH: Have you ever not worked together?
David: Now we only work together.
AH: All the time.
David: Yeah. I mean, He's not sitting on this sofa, but he is backstage. We can't be apart.
DO: He's speaking in his ear right now.
David: Exactly, yeah.
AH: But you are... you have got a genuine friendship. You're growing old together gracefully.
David: We're growing old together?!
AH: You look good for it, I'm not going to lie. What's the secret, babe?
David: A lot of makeup. It's very thick.
AH: We've got to talk about the fact that you are returning to Doctor Who.
David: Ah, yes.
AH: I can't believe this. And can you tell us anything at all?
David: I mean, beyond that I'm doing it? I think...
AH: No.
David: Really. Because that's the fun of it, isn't it? Hopefully tt was a bit of a surprise when I showed up. When Jodie Whittaker regenerated into me.
AH: We were shocked.
David: It was a bit of a surprise, so we wanted to sort of keep some shocks, but Catherine Tate's back, so it's a bit like 15 years never happened, to be honest.
DO: Know about it for a while. Like... did Russell T get in touch and say...
David: Yeah, it sort of gradually kind of evolved as an idea and we thought maybe they'd let us do a one off for old time's sake. And then suddenly it became a bit more than that and we were back for a bit of a run.
AH: So how many episodes did you get to do?
David: We did three.
AH: Wow. That's incredible. What's it like to be back? Did he just slot straight back in?
David: I mean, sort of. It felt weirdly familiar. Yeah. And you think, 'Oh, will I still able to run as fast? Can I still kind of...?' But it was like we'd never been away. It was joyous. Yeah.
DO: And could we talk about your son? Because is your son in Good Omens with you?
David: Ty's in... has a part in Episode Two of Good Omens.
AH: Is he?
DO: And I loved him in House of the Dragon.
David: I know. He's very good. He's very good.
DO: What a relief.
David: There he is. I know, what a relief. Exactly. No, I mean...
AH: Imagine if he was bad.
David: Imagine if he was rubbish. How would we tell him? Sit down, listen...I know it's sort of the family business, but maybe joinery? So... no, he's really good. And he's annoyingly good looking. You know, he's just got it all. So it's lovely and great to get to work together. Brilliant.
#good omens#this morning#this morning 2023#david tennant#interview#david interview#david about crowley#crowley#fun fact#crowley is a softie#videos#video interview#transcripts#ty tennant#david about ty#video transcripts#s2 interview
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Sorry if this is a weird question, and if that's the case you can absolutely not answer, but how do you cope with having multiple full-time jobs and still having energy outside of work? Feels a bit like I'm dying of exhaustion every day over here lol
I've been ruminating for a few days on this ask because truly I struggle with this more than I want to admit. My jobs rarely leave me with energy outside of work, and I have gone through times in the last two years where working and sleeping were the only possibilities, and it sucks, and it is kind of embarrassing, but I have also found some ways to mitigate it even slightly which I am more than happy to share:
1. Schedule fun times (yikes)
It was a harrowing realization that I need to schedule hang outs and self care just like every meeting - weeks in advance, colour coded in both the calendar and the to do list - but since I started doing it, my success rate has skyrocketed. You either die a type b or live long enough to become a type a i guess
2. Bring your fun to work day
I will suggest anything that's fun to me as a work activity. I like drawing so you KNOW the ministry is littered with illustrations. My PowerPoints create envy across departments. I scout the world of my office for ways to have fun and I am not embarrassed to say so. I'm funmaxxing the grind. So what
3. Everyone is depressed bitch
Acknowledge that everyone your age is looking at their fifty-year olds in their work life with white-hot envy (WHEN THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TIME TO GARDEN) and that the loss of agency that comes with starting your career is normal and sad, but also means that...
4. Let's get some fruit
...you gotta stop thinking in old time frames of friendship expectations. people you haven't talked to for eight months will not be mad about your absence as they are stressed and hobbyless as well and will instead REJOICE at a scheduled hangout. I have friends I see once a year we love each other. no one is mad and everyone is stressed tf out LET'S HANG
5. Win the war not the fight
hey. listen to me. this isn't easy. it sucks coming home and feeling like having no agency left. and it's hard to break that cycle of exhaustion, and I fail all the time, when is the last time i saw the sun, oh god oh no my twenties. and if you feel like that is necessary in the time you are in, that is respectable. don't be mean to yourself for being stuck in a system that tries to squeeze all the energy out of you like a grape of some sort. you just gotta make sure you don't FORGET that you are a fully formed person with hobbies in another life. buy that plane model kit. bookmark that recipe. join that knitting group. i know you dont have time and energy. but your future self will thank you for paving the way.
I hope these are helpful. don't forget to have fun and be yourself. godspeed
#sent to you while building my beautiful model plane my friend bought for me because i couldnt find the energy to#this is a GROUP EFFORT
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It All Comes To Light
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: uhhh general angst- Hydra trauma & forced terminated pregnancy
Genre: angst & fluff
Summary: When Steve learns another detail of your traumas from Hydra you end up telling Bucky one of your most well-kept secrets
***
Your eyes snap up at the slap of a manila folder on your desk where you're sketching. Steve is leaning against the wall by your door with his arms folded.
"What's with the folder?" You ask him with a confused frown.
"I knew you were taken by Hydra but you didn't tell me about this. Why not?" He asks. You let out a sigh as you flip it open. Nothing could have prepared you for what you were going to read in that folder. You went through a lot when Hydra kidnapped you and it's not a time you like to remember.
"H-how did you get this?" You ask him.
"Why didn't you tell me about it?"
"Steven,howdid you find this information? I'm serious."
"My last recon mission." He tells you.
"You had a recon mission at a Hydra base?"
"Well I wasn't sure if that's what it was but we found a bunch of their files there. This included. Tony was sorting them and when he saw your name he figured you'd feel more comfortable with me reading it."
"I would feel more comfortable reading it my damn self." You huff.
"I know but Tony thought that less biased eyes would be better in case there's some information we need."
"So now that you haven't found anything useful you figured you'd confront me about unshared trauma?"
"I haven't talked to Tony about the folder. And I won't. I just- we talked about what happened during your time at Hydra why, why didn't you tell me aboutthis?"
"Because Steven it was traumatic! I don't like to think about it. Everything about that time was awful but this? This was another level of cruelty to me. I love you but you can't expect me to share every detail of my time there. Has Bucky? He has nightmares still, does he tell you what happens in them? Do you expect him to? That is your best friend and Iknowhe doesn't recount his horrors in specificity. He doesn't share them all with me and that's a trauma we have in common. Why would I have told you about this?"
"Wait does Bucky know?" Steve asks.
"Absolutely not. Why would I tell him?" You shake your head.
"Why not? I think this concerns him."
"Not really. At the time I was forbidden from telling him. I mean they hardly even let me see him after that happened. Even if I could tell him it's not like they'd let him remember and it's been so long. We're different people now and we're in a good place. Both individually and together. I don't- I don't think there's any reason to tell him about any of it. I went through it, it almost broke me, and eventually, I healed. It took a long time but it happened before y'all found me. I don't think that's a wound I need to reopen just to share it with Bucky. He wasn't with me, he couldn't be and I think making him aware of that would hurt him more than he needs." You shrug.
"Y/n- I'm sorry you went through that and that you had to do it alone." Steve sighs.
"It's fine Stevie it's over. But- you haveto keep it to yourself. If you've gotta give the file back to Tony do it but Bucky doesn't need to know any of that. Can you respect my decision?" You stand up and hand the folder back to Steve.
"Of course, and I'll make sure Tony knows as well."
"Thank you." You mutter.
"I just- I have one last question."
"Ask away."
"I don't understand why they never told Bucky or why they forbid you from telling him. Even after it happened."
"It made me a distraction to Bucky. They made sure I- I wasn't a problem anymore it's why he barely remembers me from that time." You mutter.
"A distraction? To Bucky?" Steve frowns.
"Look I-" you stop yourself when you realize Bucky is walking into your room and Steve practically freezes when he turns around to look at you.
"What's this about you being a distraction?" Bucky frowns.
"Steve and I were just- talking about-"
"You being a distraction I heard. Have I ever made you feel like a distraction?" Bucky asks.
"No. Not you. It was- he had a question about something Hydra related."
"I'm confused why would Hydra have anything to do with you being a 'distraction'?"
"I wasalwaysa distraction for their precious Winter Soldier. It's why you don't remember much about our time together. They made sure to take care of any possibility of that." You muse.
"Y/n." Steve looks at you with a conflicted expression.
"You're being evasive on purpose aren't you?" Bucky's eyes dart between you and Steve.
"Tell him y/n." Steve sighs.
"Steve!" You glare at him.
"He deserves to know."
"You agreed to respect my decision."
"Yeah but now he's asking about it just- tell him."
"Hi yeah I'm still in the room." Bucky crosses his arms. "Y/n, what is he talking about?" He asks you and you sigh.
"I was pregnant and I never told you because Hydra made sure there was nothing to tell." You don't look at either of them as you talk.
"You were pregnant?" Bucky whispers.
"Yeah."
"And Steve, you told him?"
"Steve found outtoday because of a file found during a mission and asked me about it. I told him not to tell you because it was a long time ago and it's not something I like to rehash. The distraction thing is- about why you never knew."
"It was my kid?" Bucky's brows knit together when he asks.
"Of course it was. They separated us because of it. You couldn't know and they couldn't let it happen again. It's part of why your memories of me are so vague."
"When you say they made sure there was nothing to tell-"
"They terminated the pregnancy." You say.
"Y/n-" Bucky breathes out your name with sadness in his eyes.
"It was for the best in the end." You shrug.
"For the best? They took our child away from you and you think that was for the best?" Bucky is incredulous.
"Did you forget how they treated us? Kept us in cages? You were there Bucky. How could a child be expected to endure that? Be realistic here we would not have had that child even if I gave birth to them. I'd have the kid and the moment they can walk those monsters would take them. He'd learn to shoot before he could count to one hundred. And as soon as they think he's old enough they'd start testing and there are only two ways that would've gone. The child turns out like you, or like me. So they keep them; a miracle, the Winter Solider can be genetically replicated through reproduction. Now, on top of all the other horrible shit they did to us, we're turned into breeding cows because the successful genetic mutation of one child means they'd now start trying to find what parts of your DNA and what parts mine make the best fucking super baby. They'd probably move the kid too, who at this point has spent so many years in this lab without us that they don't even know their parents. Or they move us, either way, we never see them or each other again. And the alternative; the kid's not like either of us. They have no use for a regular kid, so they throw them to the fucking wolves we still never see that child again. You and I both know we could not protect a child in that environment so yeah, I think it's for the best that they did not force me to bring a child into a world where neither of their parents could protect them." Your voice is loud by the end of your rant. It's a story you've walked through a hundred times before. Having Hydra end your pregnancy was hard, but you know it would be much harder to have a baby in that place knowing what it's like to be there.
"Y/n-" Bucky's voice is soft.
"Maybe it's cold to rationalize it this way but it's the only way I survived all the hell they put me through and I willnotfeel bad about it."
"You shouldn't feel bad." He tells you. "You're right, I mean- you usually are. I guess I just, you've had all the time in the world to think about it. I'm only just processing all of this information right now. I didn't even know I could have kids." He frowns.
"Neither did I. They caught it so quick, before I even knew it was happening." You shake your head. Bucky wraps his arms around you in a tight hug that has tears stinging your eyes.
"I'm sorry you've been carrying this alone." Bucky says.
"Y/n- I'm really sorry for forcing you to go back down that road. You have our support. Always. I shouldn't have asked. It's- not my business." Steve mutters.
"It's fine Steve, you're my friend. It's not unreasonable that you'd ask about it." You sigh.
"No one likes reliving their trauma, but nothing that happened to you there will ever make anyone here love you less. Okay?" Bucky looks at you.
"I know."
Sometimes it's hard to deal with, what happened to you there was beyond imaginable but it's part of your story. You can't erase it even if you lock it away in the recesses of your mind and while you'll never say you're okay with that trauma, you know without it you wouldn't be where you are now. It was the worst time of your life but you came out the other side to something better than you ever thought you'd get.
***
#marvel#marvel fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky#bucky barnes x reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes angst
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Ending Our Friendship
(Stranger Things AU)
Prom photos are posted at the end of the story!
WARNINGS AND TRIGGERS: 18+ ONLY (ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS) NSFW... Mature sexual content, suggestive situations and discussions, smut, pining, angst, fluff, swearing, smoking, drinking, mentions of drug use.
RELATIONSHIPS: Eddie Munson x Y/n ♡ friends to lovers; Gareth, Jeff, Doug, Dustin, Mike, Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Max, Lucas, and El are side characters.
Copying, translating, or posting my work as your own is expressly forbidden. I do not give my permission. Reports with credit to me are encouraged.
°°°°°🤘°°°°°
What can I say about Eddie Munson? Well... he's eccentric, erratic, rambunctious, sarcastic, definitely an attention whore... irritable, obnoxious, unruly... long story short, he's kind of a dick. A menace to society whose name, behavior, interests, and all-around heavy metal image have earned him the reputation of 'Town Freak'. But it's an erroneous label born out of prejudice and arrogance, and one he most certainly doesn't deserve.
I'm not exactly a favorite among my peers either. My thrifty style, music taste, and shy demeanor make me an easy target for the ignorant fucks who dominate the high school hierarchy, and so does my association with The Hellfire Club. And since Eddie's a close friend of mine, I'm empathetic. I don't blame him for his behavior, 'cause I know it's a defense mechanism, a way of taking the torment bestowed upon him by the oppressors of Hawkins and turning it into some whimsical public attraction to hide his internal suffering and keep people on edge.
In any case, Munson's a pest. A huge, irritating, aggravating pest... a giant, perverted, flamboyant...... oh... who the fuck am I kidding? Whatever he is... I want him. I want him like a fat kid wants cake. I want him so goddamn bad that every time I lay eyes on him, hear his melodic, raspy voice, or even catch wind of his name, I feel like I wanna hurl. Fuck butterflies, that sexy son of a bitch makes me feel like I have a full-blown professional wrestling match ensuing in my gut. But could I tell him? Of course not. He doesn't see me as relationship material. I'm just 'one of the guys', permanently embedded in the friend zone, and if he ever found out my true feelings it would have grave repercussions on the whole dynamic of our collective friendships. So, I'm forced to put on a face, pretend that I'm immune to his charm, bottle up my feelings, and let them eat away at my insides.
In the four years I've attended Hawkins High not a day has gone by where Eddie Munson hasn't invaded my every thought, innocent or otherwise. Even when our interactions were non-existent, or nothing more than a hello here and there, I haven't been able to escape that scrumptious motherfucker's temptation no matter how hard I try. Ok... so I don't actually try that hard. Fuck it... I don't try at all... but I pretend to.
Eddie makes it a point to bother anyone he damn well pleases, but I seem to be his favorite prey, and I'll be damned if he doesn't get some sick perverse pleasure from incessantly teasing me. It's normal for he and I to playfully flirt and sexually tease each other. He knows he can get a rise out of me without the added contempt he gets from everyone else, but it's a game to him, just a game, one that I secretly love to play, but recently it's gotten a lot worse, and it was becoming unbearable.
Robin Buckley's the only one who knows my true feelings. She's been my best friend since we met in band freshman year. Being a bit of a loner herself, she and I just clicked. She too can't seem to find the courage to approach her respective love interest (our bandmate, Vickie), but Robin's reasons are more justified. Even still, we both live each day in a loop of self-induced torture. Robin at least gets a weekend reprieve, but not me. Sharing the same friends as Eddie, my torture is continuous, resuming every weekday morning in first-period art class, and today was another typical Friday. At least... that's how it started.
~~~~~
"Alright, guys. Today, I'm gonna meet with you all individually to see how you're doing on your projects for the year-end show. And for those of you who've decided to procrastinate... Mr. Munson, I'm looking at you... I need to ok your idea and make sure you have ample time to complete your work, and that your subject matter is appropriate."
"Aww, come on Mrs. S. You know I always finish my work on time." Eddie flashed the teacher a debonair smile.
"You better... if you finally wanna graduate. But your last project wasn't exactly school-friendly." She smiled back in jest.
I remember that project. The perfect example of Eddie's outlandish shenanigans. He'd drawn a Boris-style rendering of himself all but slaughtering his least favorite jock dipshit. But Mrs. Schwagert's one of the coolest teachers in this school, and unlike most, she's not quick to judge her students, including Eddie. She has a way of connecting with all of us.
Eddie scoffed playfully before spouting off an equally playful retort. "That hurts, Mrs. S. I thought you of all people would understand that I took an avant-garde approach, conceptualizing the fight against tyranny in today's society."
"Well, be that as it may, Mr. Munson, your tactless display of violence toward another student won't be tolerated, so I'd like to meet with you first."
I smiled to myself as Eddie exchanged playful banter with our art teacher, gawking at him like I do most of the day until their meeting was concluded, and like clockwork, he resumed his position right up my ass.
"Hi, there!" He proclaimed in his best baritone imitation of Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'.
I closed my sketch pad and looked up. "Now, the Sweathog part I get, but Washington? I don't see it."
"Ok, how 'bout Barbarino?"
He started shimmying back and forth in proper Barbarino fashion and I burst into laughter.
"Um... the hair, maybe, but you're not exactly a chick magnet. You're more of a mashup between Epstein and Horshack. Quick-witted, but super annoying."
"Fair enough." He plopped into the open seat next to me. "So... does that make you Hotsy Totsy, my little... Bunny?"
Oh yeah... every day Eddie makes it a point to devise a new moniker for me that starts with the next sequential letter of the alphabet. Today we were back to B.
"Not quite. I don't have a kid or moonlight as a stripper." I gave him a cheeky smile.
"You sure about that? You look like you belong on a street corner in that outfit."
I scoffed. "It's not that bad."
I looked down at my clothes. Ok, the v-neck crop top and fish nets, sure, but my skirt covered my waist and it wasn't that short. Suddenly feeling self-conscious I wrapped my sweater around myself, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Whatever you say. I'm certainly not complaining."
He looked me up and down with a Cheshire grin, and I rolled my eyes.
"Don't you have someone else you can pester? I'm busy."
"Doing what? More doodles that you refuse to share with me? What do you draw in there anyway? Is it your secret crush? Ooo! Is it me?"
He could not be more spot on. My sketch pad was filled with doodles of his mouthwatering, metalhead physique, as well as some more risqué renderings that I may or may not imagine him doing to me like... all the time. So of course, I lied.
"You wish, Munson."
"Oh, I do, Bunny. But if it's not me, then who is it? That Ian Astbury guy, or uh... what's his face... that wrestler? The one who looks like a roided up Tom Selek, um..." he snapped his fingers in recognition, "oh, Scott Hall? Wait!... It's Harrington isn't it? I know you two are chummy, and I wouldn't blame you. He's a dreamy hunk of hairy beast, but I'd have no problem being your dirty little sidepiece."
Eddie cocked his head to the side, flashed me a suave smile, and wiggled his eyebrows. He was such a dork, but he was right... about the chummy part anyway. Steve Harrington is my friend, which is a fucking miracle in its own right seeing that before he and Robin started working together, I never got a second glance from the 'King' of Hawkins High, but it turns out he's a gentle soul, and not the egotistical, jock douche we thought he was. But Robin puts it best, our friendship with Steve is platonic with a capital P.
"Hmm, as tempting as that sounds... I think I'll pass."
"Ok, suit yourself. Gareth would kill me if I tried to lay a hand on you anyway. Sisters are off limits."
I wasn't actually Gareth's sister, but I've lived next door to him since we were kids, and our families are super close. I do love that dumbass like a brother, but like most brothers, he's an annoying shit with a big mouth, so he has no idea how I feel about Eddie.
"Speaking of your lovable, surrogate little brother, you comin' to watch us practice tonight?"
"I wouldn't exactly call what you guys do, practice. All you do is fuck around and rip on each other the whole time."
"True, but you keep us in check, so you have to come over."
"Oh, I have to, huh? What if I don't feel like it?"
"Well, then I'll be forced to wait 'til Tuesday to waste my sexual prowess on girls who won't give me the time of day, resulting in me crying myself to sleep, again."
He popped out his bottom lip and gave me puppy dog eyes. Goddammit!
"Uh-huh. And... why do you suppose that is?"
"Well, probably because they don't know how to handle my natural charisma and raw animal magnetism. If they knew what they were missing, they'd be all over me."
"Is that right?" I leaned toward him provocatively, making sure to flaunt my cleavage. "And uh, what exactly are they missing?"
He was visibly frazzled, just how I wanted him. He swallowed hard, trying to make eye contact but unable to peel his gaze from my tits.
"Um... let's just say, that when it comes to the utmost in sexual pleasure... I'm your guy."
"Mmm... that good, are ya?"
"Oh, Bunny. I'm first-rate."
"And you think I... would be able to handle you?"
"Maybe..." He swallowed again. "There's only one way to know for sure."
"Is that so?" I looked him over seductively. "Sounds like that'd be one hell of a time."
"You have no idea."
I nodded slowly and smiled, our faces separated by mere inches.
"I suppose I don't." I stared at his lips, watching him squirm uncomfortably in his chair, and I went in for the kill. "Well, Mr. Fantastic, how could I refuse an offer like that?"
I leaned closer as if going in for a kiss and SMACKED him square in the forehead.
"OW, SHIT! SON OF A..."
I sat back in my chair as he pressed the butt of his hand to his forehead.
"I've gotta hand it to ya, Munson, I didn't think your persistence could be any more annoying, but you proved me wrong."
"Ok, I get it. No sexy time from Bunny. Way to crush my ego."
"I thought you'd be used to it by now. You can keep laying it on as thick as you want. I'm not sleeping with you."
"Y/l/n! I'll meet with you now. Get back to work, Mr. Munson."
"Yes, ma'am!" Eddie gave Mrs. S. a salute.
"Saved by scholastic decree. Catch you on the flip side, Fabio."
I smiled slyly, grabbed my sketchbook, and made my way to Mrs. S's desk as Eddie yelled after me.
"Let me know if you change your mind."
"I won't."
Without turning around I gave him the finger. I caught the faint sound of his chuckle and smiled to myself.
~~~~~
With my Walkman blaring, I navigated my way toward the cafeteria through the crowded hallways of Hawkins High, trying not to get knocked around like a pinball when Robin came running up to me in true motormouth fashion.
"Hey-gotta skip lunch to finish my history assignment-try to find a date for prom-meet up with you later-love you-bye!"
And like that, she disappeared into the sea of students before I could get a word in. This meant I'd have to sit with the Hellfire Club today, so I took a detour and headed to their table.
"What's the haps, nerds? Mind if I sit?"
I got lazy waves from the older boys, but Dustin and Mike immediately perked up and flashed me bashful smiles and enthusiastic waves, which I returned in kind.
"I've got a seat for you right here."
Eddie patted his lap. I smiled seductively, walked toward him, and squatted as if about to sit. The look on his face was priceless, but just before my ass made contact with his lap, I straightened up and crushed his dreams.
"Ooo... fat chance, fucker. Scoot over bro."
I nudged Gareth, plopping down in the seat between him and Eddie.
"Well, played, Bunny."
"Bunny? Are you still playing that stupid letter game?" Gareth asked.
"Unfortunately."
"You know you love it."
I flashed Eddie an unamused smile and started digging into my lunch bag.
"No Buckley today?" Gareth asked receiving a shake of my head as confirmation. "Hey, that girl Becky from band asked me to Prom."
I had a mouth full of food. "Mm, I like her. She's super sweet."
"Prom? You're actually gonna attend that monstrosity?"
"Why wouldn't I? Becky's hot. Just 'cause no one will go with you doesn't mean I have to sit at home with my thumb up my ass."
"Oh, sweet burn."
Mike gave Gareth a high five, and I couldn't hold back a laugh at Eddie's expense.
"Wheeler, it's not wise to upset your Dungeon Master."
Eddie flashed Mike an evil grin and Mike's face fell. He quickly turned his attention back to Gareth.
"El and I are going too. Do you guys wanna ride with us? We're getting a limo."
"Thanks, man, but we're hitching a ride with Buckley, Harrington, and Y/n."
"You're going too?"
Eddie looked at me somewhat perplexed.
"Mm-hm." I continued to eat nonchalantly, watching Eddie laugh in disbelief.
"With who?"
I furrowed my brow. Was that a hint of jealousy in his tone? Nah, couldn't be.
"Myself... and..." I waved my finger in a circle around the table to indicate everyone sitting there.
"You're all going?"
"Yes, killjoy. Nothing is stopping you from coming with us. It's a Masquerade theme this year. It'll be fun."
"Fun?! Bunny, I have no desire to attend the masquerade of forced conformity." He smiled smugly.
"Well, we do. So shut your face."
Still sensing the piercing glare of a pair of deep brown eyes, I lifted my head slowly to see Eddie smiling at me, elbow on the table and chin in hand.
"Yes?" I droned.
"Whatcha listenin' to?"
"Music," I retorted, jerking back when Eddie tried to steal my headphones.
"Why so secretive? Isn't she secretive?" Eddie addressed the younger boys of the group.
"Eddie, she probably just wants to eat her lunch in peace," Dustin answered.
"Pshh, then she's at the wrong table," Mike joked.
I shot them a friendly wink.
"Who's side are you guys on? You gotta crush on her or something? Well, you can both stop kissing her ass 'cause she's too old for you."
"I don't. I have the sweetest girlfriend in the world, and she's a genius."
"She's not very smart if she's dating you."
"Shut up, Jeff." Dustin threw a carrot at Jeff and Eddie chucked a pretzel at Dustin and Mike.
"Jesus, you guys are such dicks. Stop tormenting them. Dusty, is Susie coming?"
"I wish. Her dad'll never let that happen. I'm goin' stag... again."
"Don't worry, I'll save you a dance." He smiled bashfully.
"Jesus, this is torment. I'm surprised you're not going with Harrington." Eddie addressed me before turning to Dustin. "You know she draws erotic pictures of him in her sketchbook, right?"
"What?!" The whole table exclaimed.
"I do not." I shoved the side of Eddie's head.
"Do you really?"
"Of course not, Dusty. Eddie just refuses to let go of his nonconformist pride and have a little fun, so he's taking his frustration out on me. You know Steve and I are JUST FRIENDS!" I emphasized, staring daggers at Eddie before turning back to my food.
"Then show me the sketchbook."
"Fuck off, Munson... hey, what the..." Before I could react Eddie swiped my headphones and put them on. "Give 'em back, asshole!"
"Goddamn! This is some heavy shit. What is this?"
"It's your face meeting my fist if you don't give 'em back."
He held me at arm's length as I tried, and failed, to reclaim my headphones, but I soon gave up, crossing my arms over my chest in a huff.
"Ok, fine! It's 'The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny'."
"Hahaha! WHAT?"
"It's a demo. The band's called Mr. Bungle. They're from Eureka."
"Well, isn't that fortuitous, 'cause my little Bunny is definitely raging and wrathful today."
He screwed up his face, mocking me. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Where did you get this?"
"I'm a tape trader, remember?"
"No. I'd definitely remember you telling me something like that."
"Well, maybe if you weren't so busy running your mouth all the time, you'd actually hear what other people have to say."
"This... this is fuckin' brutal. It's like, black metal meets speed."
Eddie was in his own little world. I threw my hands up in disbelief and shook my head.
"See. Didn't hear a damn thing I just said."
"You gotta make me a copy of this."
"You know, you're awfully demanding today."
He shot me a wink and handed over my headphones. I swiped them out of his hand giving him the evil eye.
"I figured you'd be listening to that goth or glam bullshit. What other cool stuff you got?"
"I've got a lotta cool shit. I got this in my most recent haul along with a demo from Guns 'N' Roses, and one from Faster Pussycat. But they're both glam bullshit," I emphasized sarcastically.
"Glam. Gay L.A. music, you mean."
"Oh, whatever, asshole. Axel Rose has some killer pipes. And Kelly Nickels, the bassist from Faster Pussycat... total YUM! He was actually in the running to be the bassist for W.A.S.P. Bet you didn't know that, did ya? UGHH! I swear, what I would give to be the center of a Blackie Lawless and Kelly Nickels sandwich." I scanned the horrified faces at the table and froze. "Um... sorry... I forgot I'm not sitting with Robin." I took a huge chug of my drink and averted my gaze, dying of embarrassment.
"Isn't Kelly Nickels that guy you said looks like Munson?"
I choked on my beverage, hacking, and coughing, leaving no room for subtlety. Stealing a glance at Eddie I saw his smug grin. I had to think fast.
"Uh, I did not say that, Gareth."
"I'm pretty sure you did."
"Well, you're wrong." I smacked his arm, wanting to crawl into a deep dark hole and die.
"Uh-huh... I knew it. You do wanna fuck me."
"Ugg! Munson, get over yourself." I stood up and collected my shit.
"Aw, come on. Where you goin'?"
"I've lost my appetite." I spat at Eddie. "Catch you later, losers." I turned to Dustin and Mike. "Not you two. You guys will always be my little cuties."
I scrunched my nose, kissed Dustin's head, and mussed Mike's hair, smiling at their giddy expressions, then I waved at Jeff and Doug, stuck my tongue out at Gareth, gave Eddie the finger, and left. I could still hear him laughing as I walked away.
Eddie's eyes followed you as you walked away. "Dude, you're gonna bore a hole in her back if you stare at her any harder."
"Hmph, she totally wants me," Eddie said smugly to no one in particular.
"Munson, just ask her out already and put us all out of our misery."
"That would negate the sister rule, Gareth."
"She's not my sister, so if you wanna give it a shot, be my guest. But you gotta stop comin' at her guns blazing, or she's gonna kick your ass."
"Now that I'd love to see."
"Jeff, if I want your opinion, I'll beat it outta you."
"Whatever, Munson, but Gareth's right. If this is your idea of playing it cool, it's not working. You need to stop being so rash... with all of us. She sees right through it, and it looks like it's starting to get to her."
Eddie thought about it for a moment. Maybe they're right. He loved his little sheep, and picking on you was his favorite pastime, but he was being an inconsiderate ass.
You've consumed Eddie's thoughts since the day Corroded Coffin started practicing at Gareth's house. He knew who you were. Being a year older than Gareth you'd already attended Hawkins High for a year, but you never actually spoke to one another until that fateful day in the fall of '83. You heard the commotion in the garage and decided to stroll over. That's when you two were formally introduced, and you permanently imprinted on his mind and his heart. It was the first day of the rest of his life, but you weren't yet 16, and he'd just turned 18 and he was not gonna open that can of worms. It didn't stop him from playfully pestering you every day. And when you turned 18 a few months back he bumped it up a notch, but lately, he's noticed that you've been on edge and not as receptive to his teasing. Was it losing its luster for you? Were you genuinely annoyed? He couldn't let that happen. You were too important to him, but there was only one way to find out, and he knew exactly where you'd be.
~~~~~
I entered the clearing in the woods and hopped onto the picnic table, hoping to spare myself any more embarrassment or harassment by finishing a cigarette before Eddie showed up.
I wasn't pissed at him, just pissy in general. He's been making it so much harder to mask my feelings and my sexual frustration with blatant denial, and I was starting to lash out, which made me feel incredibly guilty. I could try asking him to stop, but then he'd know something was up, so suffer I will. But it was evident as Eddie came strolling into the clearing that luck was not on my side today.
"Ah, shit... can't I have a moment's peace?"
"You're not escaping my sexy mug that easily, Bunny."
I smiled sarcastically, arms draped lazily over my knees. I watched Eddie park his ass next to me, pull a soft pack of Camels from his vest pocket, shake one out, and trap it between his lips. (Jesus, why when it comes to this man does my mind turn something so innocent into filth?) He flicked his Zippo shut and took a drag. Resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together, he studied my face.
"What, do I have something in my teeth?" I started rubbing them with my finger.
"No."
"Then why are you staring at me?"
"'Cause you're sexy." He smiled slyly, taking another drag.
I exhaled heavily, leaning my forehead on my palms, visibly irritated.
"Ok, ok. I'll stop. I was actually wondering what you're doing for Schwag's class."
I whipped my head around, confusion written all over my face. Was I just transported into a parallel universe? Not only did Eddie stop teasing me on his own accord, but he's making small talk.
"What?"
"What are you doing for Schwagert's class?"
He flashed me a sweet smile, which is so unlike him. It was strange but refreshing, and it was stirring something inside me. I suddenly felt nervous, and uneasy... and kinda horny.
"Hey, you ok? You look like you're having some kinda... internal struggle. I promise I won't laugh if that's what you're worried about. I'm genuinely curious."
I was staring at him like he had three heads.
"Um, no... I um... I'm gonna do a portrait series."
"Self-portraits?"
"No, I hate self-portraits. I was actually considering drawing you if you wanna sit for me... and if you can keep your trap shut for a few hours."
His face fell. "You... you wanna draw me?"
"Yeah. Emphasis on the 'shut trap'." I took a drag from my cigarette as an embarrassing thought occurred to me, followed by more word vomit. "I mean, n-not like nude or anything." His smug ass perked right back up.
"Well, I'm not opposed," he said looking rather assuming.
"Dude, seriously."
He just kept laughing. "Ok, ok... but why me?"
"I don't know. You just have this... look." My eyes finally met his.
"I have a look?"
"Mm-hm."
I looked away sucking on my cigarette. Eddie was seemingly deep in thought and started playing with his rings.
"Um... what kinda look?"
"Not a bad look."
His head snapped up and he smiled mischievously.
"Really?"
I rolled my eyes. "Slow your roll, Munson... but yes. Your look, it's... well, it's distinctive and commanding. Good or bad, you can't deny that you have this... charisma... that makes you impossible to ignore. I wanna capture that." I was expecting some perverted retort, but it never came.
"Well, uh... that's... extremely flattering. I um... I didn't realize you saw me that way."
I couldn't read his expression, but the wrestlers in my stomach were at it again, powerbomb after powerbomb, and I felt the need to cover my tracks.
"I do. I mean, n-not like in that way. I can ignore you if I want to. You don't make it easy... b-but I can..." I rested my elbows on my knees, held my fingertips to my forehead, and sighed. "You just... your look is particular, that's all I'm saying." Shit, this was so embarrassing.
"Uh... o-kay?"
"So... will you do it?" I still couldn't look up.
"Absolutely! Just tell me when and where."
My head shot up. "Wow, um... ok, great... w-we could do it tonight if you want?"
I screwed up my face, immediately wanting to shove my foot in my mouth.
"Bunny, we can do it on this goddamn table, right here right now." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Jesus, I set myself up for that one. You know I didn't mean it like that."
He was giggling like an idiot. "Sorry, I couldn't pass up that opportunity."
Sorry? He never apologizes for his behavior.
"Ok, what the hell is up with you?"
"Whatta you mean?"
"I mean, you're being relatively polite, and making small talk. It's not like you. Did we transport to Bizarro World or something?"
He chuckled. "Just call me Eidde." He smiled bashfully. "I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."
"Ok?" I shot him a sideways glance, but he just sat there, smoking his cigarette, smiling. "Well, we can start tonight at Gareth's." He nodded in agreement. "So what're you gonna do? Did you think of more ingenious ways to flaunt your hatred for Carver?"
He let out a huge belly laugh. "Um, no... Mrs. S. shot down my idea for a sequel. I'm probably gonna do an installation so I can incorporate my music."
"Oh! I like that idea. It's a shame about the sequel though. I was impressed with the original, but I'm biased. Carver's a douche with a capital bag."
We chuckled staring at each other for a moment.
"Yeah, well, it's nice to know someone appreciates my artistic talent."
Eddie placed his hand on my knee and gave it a little squeeze, but instead of shirking it off, I patted it, but he pulled away rather quickly, looking like he didn't know what he should do with his hand.
"So, you're really agreeing to help me?"
"Yep."
"Just like that? No... proposition or outrageous demands in return?"
"Well, since you suggested it..." His smile was wicked.
"Jesus, why the hell do I keep opening my big mouth?"
His grin widened. "Since your big mouth is already open, how 'bout a big sloppy blowjob... or I'll settle for a big wet kiss... or... we can cut right to the chase and finally fuck." He nudged my shoulder.
"Jesus, you're hopeless. Is that all? Do you want my first born too?" (Fuck! I did it again!)
"Well, I can cum inside you when we're fuckin'."
I shoved him so hard, I knocked his giggling ass off the table, but I welcomed the distraction of his laughing fit because the thought of him cumming inside me made my cheeks flush and my thighs clench involuntarily. If spontaneous combustion is truly a thing, consider me Spinal Tap drummer number seven. Luckily the position in which he fell and the time it took him to climb back onto the table was enough for me to collect myself.
"You're a fucking pervert."
"I know, I can't help it."
"Well, try." He nodded. "Why don't you agree to come to prom with all of us instead?"
"Um... that doesn't exactly benefit me. So, no... it has to be option 1, 2, or 3."
"Ok, then I guess I'll pick option 4, none of the above."
"Then you can't draw me."
His expression was serious. I didn't know how to react until he snickered and cracked a smile before erupting into full-on laughter. I smacked him upside the head and he yelped.
"You're such a dick, Munson."
He was still rolling, trying to catch his breath. "Ha! Uh ha, hmm... ok, fine, you can still draw me, but prom? That's really not my thing."
"You're missin' out."
"On what? Shitty music and jock scrutiny? No thanks. But I do wanna ask you something."
We locked eyes. His expression was foreign. He's never looked at me like this before. It was like... adoration mixed with worry. Was he nervous? He looked nervous. Or was I nervous?
"Does um... does my behavior bother you?"
I looked at him quizzically. Why would he care what I thought?
"Um... no. I mean, you definitely know how to push my buttons... and sometimes I just wanna strangle you... but you're one of my best friends. I understand your humor. But you do need to lay off the boys."
He looked only partially relieved. "Fair enough. I just... well, you're a cool girl... and I really enjoy our banter, but you seem a little on edge lately, so I just wanted to make sure. I've never had a female friend as accepting as you, so I don't wanna push you away."
I stared at him in shock, like maybe his three heads would sprout horns. He seemed genuinely worried about upsetting me.
"Ok, is this like, a reverse invasion of the body snatchers or something? Who are you?"
We both laughed. His smile was huge, and so fucking gorgeous. Then I saw it. The subtle movement of his eyes falling to my lips. Did I just see that, or did I imagine it? I felt lightheaded and my heart was pounding as he slid closer, smiling as he scanned my face. (Headlock, shoot off, drop down, leapfrog, hip toss, cover, and 1... 2... 3... wrestler pinned... insert pyro explosion here)
I think I stopped breathing, and then... (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrringggggggg) Our heads swiveled toward the school. Ugg! That fucking bell. We turned our attention back to each other. Eddie let out a heavy breath, suddenly bashful, and awkwardly backed away, and I finally took a breath.
"Um... we... we should probably..."
"Yeah, um... I'll... I'll walk you back."
~~~~~
We walked through the hall in silence, still smiling, occasionally stealing glances at each other. I had no idea how to process what just happened. What did just happen? Was it even anything? I looked at Eddie. His smile was so bashful, almost innocent. It was so fucking CUTE I wanted to hug him, squeeze him, and call him George.
That's it... we were definitely in Bizarro World.
~~~~~
Sitting on the couch in Gareth's garage, my pencil flowed over the pages of my sketchbook with ease. Eddie was my fucking muse. It's amazing what I can accomplish when I'm drawing a willing participant. But when 'practice' was over, I had the misfortune of being a part of the most fucked up conversation in the history of conversations.
"Is that the latest Hustler? Ooo, toss that over here." Eddie wasted no time flipping through the pages.
"Jesus, you guys have a one-track mind."
"That's the pot calling the kettle black. I know for a fact you like to read those cheesy smut books."
I threw an empty beer can at Gareth. "Way to sell me out, asshole."
"Smut books, huh? A bit of a dirty bird aren't ya, Bunny?"
"This coming from the man who has a pile of nudie mags under his bed. And don't give me that 'I read the articles' excuse."
"I do read the articles."
"I'm not talking about letters to Penthouse." I smiled cheekily.
"She's got you there, Munson," Gareth said.
"Ok, my deviance is a surprise to no one, but this little dirty bird seems to be hiding more than just doodles. So, Bunny... what're your other guilty pleasures?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
I flashed him an irritated look. "Eddie, if you think I'm gonna tell you that you're outta your goddamn mind."
"Awww... come on. Don't be a prude."
Gareth, Jeff, and Doug turned their attention to Eddie, probably expecting me to kick his ass. I turned to look at him and sighed. He wasn't gonna let this go, so I figured I'd have a little fun with him.
"Alright... you really wanna know?"
Sitting on the edge of the couch, nodding like an idiot, a stupid grin spread across his face, Eddie anxiously awaited my reply.
"I wanna know."
"Me too."
Jeff and Doug, my peanut gallery.
"I'm not sure I do."
"SHHH! Shut up, Gareth. No one cares what you think."
Eddie was too preoccupied to notice Gareth giving him the finger.
"Ok... fine. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you."
Eddie took a sip of his beer. I could see the excitement in his eyes, so I exhaled heavily.
"Yes, I like smut novels. I draw a lot of erotic pictures, and I too read Letters to Penthouse. I also enjoy watching porn."
All four of them were frozen in place, Eddie in mid-swig and the other three with their jaws on the floor. Eddie swallowed hard before speaking.
"Like, what kinda porn?" He asked sheepishly.
All four boys were waiting impatiently with bated breath.
"Ok, um... well, the softcore, romantic stuff is my favorite, but I do enjoy a bit of hardcore." I gauged Eddie's reaction. He was mesmerized, eyes glued to my face as he took another sip of his beer. "I occasionally enjoy some girl-on-girl. Threesomes are so hot. Two girls and one guy, one girl and two guys, it doesn't matter. Like I said, I'm down for a Blackie/Kelly sandwich. Oh, and voyeurism. I love the thought of watching people fuck while I touch myself... really gets me goin'."
Eddie spit out a mouthful of beer and the others were all in a daze, mouths agape, processing everything I just said, but it was Eddie who broke the silence.
"And... how exactly did you pick up these little... hobbies?"
"Dude, I'm a shy, introvert, outcast... we're as freaky as they come."
"It's always the quiet ones," Doug said in disbelief.
"Mm-hm. Well... now that the cat's outta the bag, I have a date with my VCR and a naughty VHS. Later, losers."
(Suck it, Munson!) I gave a triumphant smile, winked at Eddie, turned on my heels, and headed to my garage making sure to shake my hips as I left.
Eddie sat staring at the ground. "I don't know about you guys, but I need a cold shower after that one."
"Me, too."
"Me three."
Eddie looked at his friends, who were all still in shock. "Do... do you think she's serious?"
He jumped off the couch and bolted after you.
"Hey, Munson, wait... MUNSON!" Gareth sprinted after Eddie and grabbed his arm before he could make it to your house. "Dude! Seriously? She was just fucking with you."
Eddie bowed his head in defeat and followed Gareth back to his garage. He sat down and resumed staring at the ground adjusting his crotch uncomfortably as Jeff and Doug grabbed their gear.
"You guys outta here?" Gareth asked.
"Yep. We'll see you tomorrow."
They waved goodbye and made their way to Jeff's car. Gareth turned his attention to Eddie, noticing his frustration.
"Munson, just fuckin' tell her."
Eddie threw his head back against the couch and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning.
"Come on, Gareth. You know I can't."
"Why?"
"'Cause we've got a good thing going. If I confess my love and she doesn't feel the same I'll lose her forever, or at the very least things'll just be incredibly awkward. But I can't stop fucking thinking about her." Eddie looked toward your house. "You know her better than I do. What should I do?"
"Ok, here's what I do know. If she's willing to take your shit... there's gotta be somethin' else there. No one's crazy enough to tolerate your dumb ass unless they want to, but if she does have feelings for you, she'll never make the first move, so I think you should approach her. I also know that she was lying at lunch. She can deny it all she wants but she really does think you look like that Kelly Nickels guy. That's gotta count for something."
Eddie smiled to himself. "Maybe."
"Well, either you tell her, or I will, 'cause all this pining shit... it's really fucking irritating. And swallow your pride, man. Ask her to prom. You know you'll have fun with her. Go ask her now. She's probably sitting in her garage."
Eddie let out a huge sigh. "Alright, man, but the whole feelings thing... let me test the water... if she seems receptive then I'll spill my guts."
"Good luck, dude."
Eddie gave Gareth a bro handshake, grabbed a couple of beers, and shuffled toward your garage. When he got close enough he heard you talking, probably on the phone. He knew he shouldn't listen but the devil on his shoulder convinced him otherwise, so he leaned against the corner of your garage just out of sight.
~~~~~
"Oh, come on, Robin. He was asking for it."
"Yes but when you do that it only riles him up more."
"Him? What about me? The flirting and teasing have only gotten worse. I can't fucking take it anymore."
"Exactly. You know how he is. If you keep egging him on you're only making things worse for you. Just tell him how you feel."
"Robin... you know I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because... he's my friend."
"And?"
"And... if he rejects me... things'll be super awkward. And if he still wants to be my friend I'll be forced to suppress my feelings just to maintain some sort of normalcy around him, and I'll be no better off."
"Did you at least ask him to the dance?"
"Not exactly. I suggested he come with all of us, but you know how he is. He's too proud to 'give in to the masquerade of forced conformity'." I said in my best Eddie voice.
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. Just keep dropping hints. Maybe he'll get the message."
"I hope so. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I want to be with him so fucking bad, but I don't wanna lose him."
"I understand, trust me I do."
"I know. Well, I'm gonna go watch my movie, take my mind off shit. Tell Steve I said hi."
"Hey, Dingus! Y/n says hi! He's waving at you."
"Nice."
"Well, we love you girly."
"Love you guys too."
I hung up the phone and stared at my open sketch pad, utterly lost in Eddie's image.
Eddie's eyes were wide with shock. He could only hear your side of the conversation, but he had no doubt who you were talking about. Jesus H. Christ! You have feelings... for him. You pretend you don't but you do! This... this changes everything! So why was this dread still lingering in his chest? Nerves maybe? He had to say something, but he didn't want to come on too strong. Act casual... yeah. That's what he'll do... just... act casual. After silently syking himself up he took a few deep breaths and decided to make his move.
"BOO!"
"JESUS CHRIST!" I jumped out of my skin, nearly falling off of my stool. "You think you're funny, asshole?"
Eddie was doubled over with laughter as I sat there clutching my chest.
"Hahahahaha! Ohhhh, no... I think I'm adorable."
"Ugg! I hate you so much, Munson."
"Awww, come on now. You know that's not true. May I come in?"
I released a heavy sigh. "Sure... whatever."
"Here, a peace offering."
He handed me a beer.
"Thanks."
We sat in silence for a moment as he checked out all the drawings hanging above my desk.
"Jesus, you're amazing. I love your style. The way you see the world, it's just... incredible."
"Thanks." I smiled bashfully.
He motioned to my open sketch pad.
"May I?"
"Sure." Ahhhhhhh! His smile makes my fucking insides liquefy.
"Oh, Bunny... these are fantastic! I've never looked so good." He flashed a cheeky smile and flipped to the front of the book.
"Nice try. You won't find anything. This sketchbook is strictly for school projects."
He let out a breathy laugh. "You caught me. I wish you'd show me your personal drawings. You're so passionate about your work. Like I am with my music."
"Maybe someday, Munson." I flashed him a sweet smile.
"Um, you mind if I turn on some tunes?"
"No, go ahead."
He started fiddling with the record player.
"Looks like your old man was listening to Clapton. I'll just leave that on."
"Works for me."
He positioned the record player needle and shuffled back to his chair.
"So... what's on your agenda for this evening... besides hardcore porn... and me?"
He smiled wickedly, pulled his smokes from his vest pocket, and went through his routine.
"Not fucking you, Munson."
I loved hearing him laugh, or talk... or move... or fucking breathe. Whatever the hell he was doing... I loved it.
"So, do you actually watch all that stuff, or were you just fuckin' with me?"
"Uh..." I eyeballed him hesitantly, but his expression was calm, and not flirtatious, so I gave him this one. "Yeah... I do."
He raised his brow and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well... that's um... that's hot. I was just gonna head home, get high, and play guitar, but now... I think I'm gonna have to rub one out. Care to turn it into phone sex? Preferably while you're still watching porn?"
(JESUS CHRIST! I know what I'm drawing tonight) I rolled my eyes. "Dude! What is with you? You've been so lewd lately. Like, more than usual." He smiled cheekily and stared at me. "No! No phone sex, no fucking, just... no!"
His whole body shook with laughter. "Ok, then I guess I'm goin' solo. So, if you're not gonna watch porn, what are you gonna do?"
I shook my head. "I'm gonna watch 'Help'."
"Can't say I've seen it."
"Really? It's a super corny Beatles movie."
"Oh, I know what it is, I just haven't seen it. Is it good?"
"I love it. It's one of my favorites. I watch it with my mom all the time."
"Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Y/l/n, where are your folks?"
"They're visiting my grandma this weekend."
"Well, that's a shame. I'll just have to schmooze your mom next time. So... was tonight's session enough to do your project, or do you need me to sit for you again?"
(Ok, what the fuck?) "Alright dude, what's going on? You're doing it again."
"What?"
"Oh, come on. For the past few months, you've been... I don't know... a lot more perverted, but today you're trying to incorporate small talk and some semblance of courtesy. So what's going on?"
"I don't know. Maybe I want you to see a different side of me, so I'm talking about things that aren't strictly sex oriented."
"Yeah, but why?"
"Well... maybe I like you."
"HA! Hyeah, right. If you don't wanna tell me the real reason, just say so. You don't need to make shit up."
"Who says I'm making shit up?"
I tried to play it cool, not letting on that the instant those words left his lips Hulk Hogan leg dropped King Kong Bundy.
"Uh... I am."
"Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could see you as more than just a friend?"
I scoffed. "Yeah, a fuck buddy, maybe."
Jesus, it felt like an Alien was about to punch through my chest. I reached for my smokes and lit up trying to thwart my anxiety.
Eddie nodded solemnly, but when 'Wonderful Tonight' started to play, he set down his beer and held out his hand.
"Wanna dance?"
I must've looked like a deer in headlights.
"What?"
"Come on... dance with me."
I snuffed out my cigarette looking at him hesitantly. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, threw my arms around his neck, wrapped his around my waist, and pulled me close. He started swaying us back and forth, his head nestled next to mine, but when the chorus hit I got ballsy. Knowing this wasn't bound to last, I decided to live in the moment. I leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezed my arms tighter, closed my eyes, and started playing with his hair, but to my shock and delight, he tightened his grip around my waist and leaned his head against mine, grazing my back with his fingertips. We embraced silently for several minutes, and all I could think was that I could die happy at this very moment... and then he had to go and fucking ruin it.
"Go to prom with me?"
His voice was so faint I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I lifted my head, our eyes lingering on each other's faces, and I scowled, about to lose my shit.
"What? Ok, now I know you're joking."
"I'm not joking."
"Eddie, stop it. This isn't funny."
I broke away and went to shut off the record player, ready to scream. We just held each other so fucking tight, and there was something about the way he touched me. Probably just wishful thinking, but it seemed like we had a moment.
"Al-alright fine. Don't believe me."
"Why should I when you've been shitting on the idea all day?"
He was silent. I slumped my shoulders, released a sigh, and faced him. "Ok, fine, don't answer me. I'm gonna go watch my movie."
Eddie was chewing on his thumbnail, his other hand in his pocket, and he was staring at the ground nodding. He actually looked disappointed, and I had to admit, I felt kinda guilty. I didn't want him to leave, but this charade had to stop.
"Hey, um... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You don't have to go. I just... I want the nonsense to stop, ok? If you want you can watch 'Help' with me."
His head shot up so fast I thought he'd have whiplash.
"Um, yeah, ok. Your parents won't mind?"
"No, they know you. It's not like we're fuckin' or anything."
"Well..."
"DON'T... say it."
Signature Munson, never missing a beat. Jesus, my emotions were bouncing back and forth like a game of Pong.
~~~~~
We were on the couch in my basement, which also doubled as my bedroom. It was a pretty sweet setup if I say so myself.
"You're right. This is a really weird movie. Not as trippy as 'Tommy', but still pretty bad."
He pulled his arms up to shield himself from my slap but was unsuccessful.
"Oh, shut up. It's awesome and you know it. And so is 'Tommy'."
"No, you're right. I do like 'Tommy'. Ann Margaret's hot." His smile was so goofy.
"So is Roger Daltrey," I smirked. "Ooo, I love this part. Paul using the girl as a guitar."
"Ooo, that looks like fun. Come 'ere."
"What?" He reached for my arm and pulled me across the couch. "What... what're you...? Hey! Hahaha!"
"Come on, sit on my lap. Put your hand on your hip, hold the other arm out... there we go. Now... I play."
I was dying of laughter as Eddie played my arms like a guitar and started singing along to 'Another Girl'.
🎶For I have got, another girl
Another girl who will love me till the end
Through thick and thin, she will always be my friend
I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you
But as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new
I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want
For I have got, another girl🎶
Eddie stopped playing, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my giggling ass against his chest, continuing to rock me in time with the music, only this time, when the song ended, I stayed put.
"I thought you didn't like The Beatles."
"I never said that. I just said I never saw this movie, but my mom used to listen to them too."
I smiled, taking the opportunity to rest my head back against his shoulder and wrap my arms around his. I felt his hair tickle my neck, so I looked up and found him smiling at me. Our faces were so fucking close. I smiled back and he leaned down and kissed my cheek.
"W-what was that for?"
"Just felt like it. I'm having a good time."
"M-me too."
There was that look again. The same one from this afternoon at the picnic table. That look of adoration, but this time with a little something extra. And there was no bell. Nothing to break the trance. I couldn't look away as he scanned my face and brushed some stray hair behind my ear, his hand now resting on my cheek. A flash of eyes to lips, and then...
NOTHING!
He returned his arm to my waist and turned back to the TV.
(Mother... Shhhh... Jesu... what the... oh... SON OF A BITCH!!!) I couldn't even think a coherent sentence, so I turned my attention back to the movie. I must've been squirming too much because Eddie pulled my legs across his lap, which was a way more comfortable position, and I allowed myself to cuddle into his chest. I was so tired I should've passed out, but I couldn't shut off my brain.
"I love this song so much."
I started singing along with John Lennon to 'You've Got to Hide Your Love Away'. Eddie joined in, and we smiled at each other as we sang, and again he rocked me to the music.
🎶How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in
How could she say to me
"Love will find a way"?
Gather 'round, all you clowns
Let me hear you say
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Hey, you've got to hide your love away🎶
We couldn't peel our eyes off each other.
"You're voice is beautiful."
"Thanks," I whispered.
We stared a few moments longer before my nerves got the better of me, and I returned my head to his chest.
"You know, this whole album is like... a metaphor for our entire relationship."
What? Did he really mean that? Most of the songs were about want, need, and... love. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I just buried myself deeper into his chest in reply, and again his arms tightened around me.
By the time the movie was over I could no longer keep my eyes open. The warmth of his body and his musky scent were so comforting.
"Hey, Bunny... you sleepy? You want me to leave?"
Without opening my eyes I shook my head, clutched onto his shirt, and whispered, "No... please don't go."
I have no idea where my newfound boldness was coming from, but Eddie didn't protest. Instead, he enveloped me in his arms and rested his cheek on my head.
"I won't, Bunny."
I smiled to myself as Eddie shifted us so we were lying down facing each other, my head still buried in his chest and his arms still wrapped tightly around me. I managed to open my eyes and look up. He was smiling, watching me, and like a moth to a flame, my hand found his face, my fingertips lightly grazing his features as my eyes followed their trek... his pale cheek, covered by little grains of stubble... his plush, pink lips, which parted slightly at my touch. He closed his eyes and leaned into it until my fingertips trailed to his cute, button nose, his forehead, and back through his hair, where I buried them behind his neck giving him a little scratch.
"Mmm, that's... that's nice."
He released a faint moan and slowly opened his eyes. They were glossy, wanton, and... unsure. His lips formed a sincere smile, and he started repeating my previous motions. His fingers explored my face, eyes following suit.
"Go to prom with me, Bunny."
His voice was so low, commanding even.
"Eddie, why?"
"Because I wanna spend time with you."
"You already spend time with me."
"I know, but... I just wanna go with you. Please say yes."
I sensed nothing but sincerity in his gorgeous eyes, and his voice, so I willed myself to whisper, "Ok... I'll go with you."
"Yeah?" His smile was enormous.
"Yeah."
He cuddled closer and kissed my head. (Flying elbow drop, off the top rope, straight to the gut) When I looked at him we were nose to nose. He nuzzled mine, lips parted. It was almost like a silent plea, begging me to close the gap, to finally let him taste my lips for the very first time, but I was frozen. His lips ghosted mine. I was practically cross-eyed staring at them, but he wouldn't take the plunge. I felt like I was trying to will him with a Jedi mind trick to just do it already, but the force is not strong with me, and he just lingered... the fucking tease.
"Have sex with me," he whispered, smiling playfully.
"What? No." I poked him in the gut, and he giggled.
"Come on. I know you want it as much as I do... and I think it's time we do something about it."
My brow furrowed, eyes darting back and forth in disbelief across Eddie's face. Who does this mother fucker think he is? I mean, I do in fact wanna fuck him, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing. I pushed his chest hard and got off the couch ready to lay into him.
"Hey, what---?"
"That's all I am to you, huh? Some... perverted game or prized sexual conquest? Do you have any respect?"
"What? N-no, that's..." he stood up and gripped my arms, "it's not like that at all."
"Then why do you keep pushing this?! I can't..."
I started to cry, unable to finish my sentence. I wanted to smack him, kick him outta my house, just... anything to make the pain stop, but I was so exhausted from this charade and all the mind games that I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore, so when he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head I didn't fight him. I just let him hold me as I balled into his shirt.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just... not very good at this, so I'm going about it the only way I know how, and... well, I'm failing miserably, and um... Jesus, I don't know how the hell to do this."
"Do what?" I mumbled.
He pulled me back so he could look at my face, and caress my cheek. His expression immediately softened, but he looked uncertain and extremely nervous.
"Um, hhhhh... something I should've done a long time ago. I wasn't lying earlier. I like you... a lot... but it's more than that... I'm uh..."
"Eddie... what're you doing?"
There was a brief silence. And then... it happened...
"I'm ending our friendship."
And just like that, he closed the gap and encased my lips with his. The sweet pressure of it, the subtle transition of tongue against tongue, the soft, gentle strokes of his thumbs against my face. It was perfect. I couldn't speak, but I needed reassurance. I slowly broke the kiss.
"Hyou... you're serious... aren't you? You're not just saying all this so I'll sleep with you?"
Now he looked like he wanted to cry.
"Y/n, no... you know me better than that. I'm just... a big oaf, but I would never take advantage of you. I just... I wanna be with you. And yes, I... I really wanna fuck you... but not as a buddy. I want you to be my girl. We don't have to do a damn thing. I'd be elated to just hold you for five minutes, but I need you to know this. I--I'm in love with you."
(DDT into a flying body press, followed by a sit-down drop to the gut) I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the onset of tears. Oh my God... oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... oh my FUCKING God! I opened my eyes slowly. We were nose to nose. He flicked his tongue lightly against my lips, and the bastard fucking smiled.
"Munson... hyou-- you're fucking evil." The words came out with my breath.
"I know..."
He cupped his hand under my knee, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and with an arm around my back, he pulled me flush against him. HOOOLY FUCKING SHIT! I could feel how hard he was as he ground his bulge against my aching cunt. My fucking eyes rolled into the back of my head and my breathing hitched. Jesus, Fuck! He was playing so dirty. I wanted to curse him out, spew every obscenity known to man and then some. When I opened my eyes, he was smiling devilishly.
"But you still wanna fuck me... don't you?"
I nodded involuntarily, as if I no longer had control of my body, and Eddie's tongue shot into my mouth. His kiss was hurried, and vivacious, our faces smashed so close together it hurt... but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and without parting he hiked me up by my thighs and carried me to my bed.
He fell onto the mattress with me on top of him, shifting his body under my weight, continuing to breathe new life into me. His hands found my ass, greedily squeezing before gliding gently up my sides, lifting my shirt. The touch of his hands on my bare skin sent shockwaves up my spine. I broke away just long enough to grab the bunched fabric and rip it over my head throwing it to the floor. Like he couldn't function without them, he found my lips again.
"Mmm, mhh, hhhh... Bunny, I know I joke, but I'm not fuckin' around. Are you sure you want this?" He smoothed back my hair and searched my eyes.
I smiled brightly, tears flowing freely. "Eddie, I want this. I want you."
"Yeah?" He asked, just to be sure.
When I nodded he crashed his lips to mine, drinking them in, savoring them as I've wanted him to for so fucking long.
He rolled me onto my back, trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck, licking softly between my breasts. The heat of his breath was like fire on my skin, and it burned so good. He gently tugged at the front of my bra freeing my perky tits, stopping to admire me.
"Jesus H. Christ... you're so beautiful."
When he finally took a hard peak into his mouth, my back arched, my brow creased, my teeth clenched, and I sucked in a breath of praise, shaking from the stimulation.
"Mmm... Jesus, you're nipples are sensitive. Have they always been like that?"
"N-no... hoh--only when I'm... really turned on. And I-- I've been waiting... so long... for you to touch me like this."
I gasped as he gently flicked my nipple with the tip of his tongue, trailing it up my neck. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, cupped my cheek, and kissed my forehead tenderly before leaning his on mine.
"My sweet, beautiful Bunny. I've been dreaming of touching you like this for ages, and I wanna take my time with you... to make our first time together last, but I don't think either one of us is gonna make it." He let out a breathy laugh. "Just seeing you, hearing you... knowing how you make me feel, and... knowing how you feel about me..."
He was shaking with urgency, lip quivering, running his hands through my hair, brushing my face with his fingertips... he was manic... and it was beautiful.
"Eddie... I know... there'll be time for all that. I just wanna be with you now."
He exhaled, eyes still shut tight, and he nodded before claiming my lips in a passionate kiss.
"Mhhhh... you're sure about this? About me?"
I gave him a sweet pout, cupped his face, and pulled his forehead to mine.
"Eddie... I want everything with you... and only you."
His whimper was resounding, muffled by my own as we kissed feverishly.
"Mmhhh, Y/n... are you safe? Can-can I take you raw?"
His expression was sweet. He was watching, waiting, yearning as he searched my face.
"Eddie, yes... I love you."
The instant the words left my lips he ravished mine. I ripped off his shirt and tossed it away, quickly locking lips again as he rushed to undo his belt. Without parting we both fumbled with his jeans only bothering to push them just past his hips, and in seconds he was pushing himself inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath, and he was shaking, mouth agape, eyes shut tight as he buried himself to the hilt.
"Ohhhhhsweet... Jeeesus!" He stilled, little broken moans reverberating throughout his chest as we got used to each other.
"Eddie, it's ok... I'm-I'm ok, uuh! Hyou--you can move."
He exhaled heavily and slowly started thrusting, adjusting to the tight space.
"GodDAMN! Hyou, mgghh... you feel better than anything I could've imagined. So soft, so warm... so fucking tight! Jesus, you're perfect."
He leaned his forehead to the crook of my neck as he picked up his pace. I was moaning like a harlot, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. It was pure fucking bliss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him so close.
"I... I couldn't take it anymore." He breathed out. "I--I've been in love with you... since the day we met. Needed this... needed you... so fucking bad. Haww, uhhhh, FUCK!"
My heart skipped a beat. His thrusts were steady, almost prolonged, like he didn't want to consider the notion of this moment ending.
"Eddie, mhhh... I-- I've been dying to hear you say those words."
He lifted his head to look at me, and he was beaming, smoothing my hair back.
"Mhh, my angel. You... you doin' ok? You feel good? Uhhhh."
UGGGG! He was so fucking sweet.
"Eddie..." I ground my hips into him, coaxing from him a delicious guttural moan. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, but I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "I'm loving this. We're finally together. Please... don't stop until you make me yours."
He stared at me as if he wasn't sure I was telling the truth. I placed a small kiss of reassurance on his lips, and they turned up into a huge smile. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was about to cry. He immediately claimed my lips, wrapped his arms around my back, and started to move faster. His movements, his touch, his eyes... they said so much, and nothing at all. He made me feel so goddamn good I began to come undone.
"Eddie... I'm-I'm close."
"Uhhh, that's my girl." He immediately rolled us over so he was on his back. "Fuck me, Bunny. Make yourself feel good, ungghh, mhhh yeah, just like that. Hoh, oh fuck! Cum... cum for me, Bunny."
I pressed my hands, to his chest, spread my thighs wide, and fucked him hard until all I could do was throw my head back and scream his name.
"Eddie, oh, ohfuck, FUCK! EDDIE!!!"
I came hard on his thick cock. His body tensed, and I knew he was done for, but I continued to grind and swirl my hips.
"Eddie, I wanna hear you, feel you. Cum inside me, baby. Please... cum for me."
I have never heard a more beautiful sound in my life. He pulled me down, rolled us over, laced our fingers together, and held them above my head, as he ground his hips into mine.
"Mm-Y/n, I'm-I'm gonna fill you up... make you mine. Uhhhhh, fuck... FUCK!"
He gave one more powerful thrust, and his body shuddered. Making the most lewd, yet seductive sound I ever had the pleasure of witnessing, he pumped me full of his seed. Once he was finished he collapsed onto his side, his chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Uhhh... mhhh, h-holy shit..."
He smiled, met my blitzed-out gaze, and started laughing. I placed my hand on his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. When he opened them he let out a content sigh. He reached for me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me into the spoon position. Looking down at me, he tilted my chin with his finger so he could see my face. He smiled brightly as an equally giddy smile crossed my lips, and he kissed me, squeezing me tight. I couldn't describe the happiness I felt.
"Eddie?"
"Yeah, Bunny?"
"How did you know?"
He chuckled. "I heard you talking to Robin earlier."
"You were eves dropping?"
"Guilty as charged. I knew it was wrong, but I'm glad I did it."
"Hmm, me too. Do you really wanna go to prom?"
"Not particularly. But I'm not about to let you guys have all the fun without me, so I'm willing to damage my hard-earned rep for you. I just wanna be with you, Bunny."
He placed sweet, wet kisses on my bare shoulder.
"Well, you're one hell of a dancer. Surprised the shit outta me." Mhh, those fucking giggles.
"I know a thing or two." He took his arm from around my waist, laced our fingers together, and held them close to my chest. "I also knew I'd get you to fuck me."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Eddie Munson... you're such an ass... but don't ever change." I turned my head to look at his smiling face, and he kissed me passionately. "Mmm, so... why didn't you tell me you liked me? I was on the verge of imploding."
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I asked you first."
"Hmm, m-hm, hmm! Well, I wanted to. Gareth was my number one cheerleader... but I was too chicken shit. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you if you didn't feel the same way. But when I heard you talking to Robin... it was like... a weight lifted from my shoulders. I love you, Y/n... so fucking much. I fell in love with you the moment we were introduced... but you were so young. So when you turned 18, I just..."
"You started laying it on thick. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't put two and two together."
"Yeah, well... it seemed to have the opposite effect I was going for. Apparently I came off a lot more irritating than charming, so Gareth and Jeff told me to dial it back, and that's when the small talk started."
"I can't believe I was so blind."
"You and me both, Bunny, but now it's your turn, so fess up."
"Hmm, then let me up. I need to show you something."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, just for a moment. I promise."
Eddie kissed my knuckles and reluctantly let me up. I retrieved a stack of sketchbooks and made my way back to the bed. I plopped down and placed the books in front of him.
"Go ahead."
He rolled onto his side, and I watched as he opened them and scanned the pages in disbelief.
"Are-are these for the project?"
"No. Look at the dates."
He checked them all, page after page, book after book.
"You... you've been drawing me since freshman year?"
"Yeah. That's why I never let you see anything. I know that's kinda creepy, but I just..."
"Uh... this one's far from creepy. We are definitely doing this later."
He pointed to one of my more risqué drawings, smiling mischievously, and I blushed.
"Anyway..." I exaggerated, "I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I've been crazy about you since my first day of school. And when we finally started hanging out, and you began teasing me all the time, I fell for you... hard, but by that point I was deep in the friend zone, and it seemed like you only thought of me as one of the guys. I didn't wanna jeopardize our friendship either, so... I hid my feelings. I thought if you knew the truth... that our banter, the flirting... everything... would all end, so I played along. But when the teasing got worse it became excruciating, so I started lashing out. But I love you, Eddie... with all my heart, and after what we just shared... I've fallen even harder."
I was balling like a baby, and when Eddie trapped me in his arms I melted into him.
"Hey, don't cry, Bunny."
I chuckled through sobs. "They're happy tears, Eddie. Just years of pent-up emotion and sexual frustration finally being expelled. And I really dig the name Bunny. You can call me that one all the time."
"Done. My sweet... soft... beautiful... raging... wrathful Bunny." He kissed my lips between every word. "Mmm, mhh. Can I spend the night?"
"What? Oh, fuck no! Get your shit and go. I got what I wanted." I smiled playfully.
"Hey now, there's only room in this relationship for one asshole."
"I beg to differ."
He wiggled out of his jeans, pulled me down with him and we held each other close. It took mere minutes for us to succumb to the exhaustion. It was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.
~~~~~
Prom night had finally come. My house was abuzz as all the girls gathered here to get ready while our parents socialized. I was a ball of nerves waiting to see what Eddie had in store for me.
"Alright, look up and hold still... now close your eyes." Nancy lifted my chin and proceeded to apply my eye eyeliner.
"Thanks for doing this, Nancy. Robin and I aren't really make-up girls."
"Don't mention it. You're much less fidgety than Robin."
Nancy was such a sweet girl. Another perk of being friends with Mike and Steve.
"There we go. Hand me your lipstick."
I did as she asked, and she proceeded to apply.
"So... how are you and Munson dealing at school? Blot."
I opened my mouth and clamped my lips down on the piece of toilet paper Nancy was holding.
"Well, we had our fair share of jock harassment on Monday, but I nipped that one in the bud."
"Yeah, Jonathan and I dealt with that crap too. Just let it roll off your shoulder. People eventually get bored. And how about prom? I never thought I'd see the day when Munson would attend."
"Yeah, he feels like he's going against everything he stands for, but if you ask me, I think he's secretly enjoying himself. He won't tell me a damn thing about his outfit, just that I needed to wear black and red. Steve took him shopping, but Eddie swore him to secrecy. All Steve would say is that once he showed Eddie that he could look good and keep his metalhead flair he was very receptive. Steve was proud of him."
Nancy flashed a sweet smile.
"Nancy! Y/n! Get your asses up here! The boys will be here any minute!"
"Keep your panties on Robin, we're comin'!" I took a deep breath as Nancy put the finishing touches on my make-up.
"Ok, all done."
I took one last look at myself in the mirror. My hair was huge, but it fit the theme, and my make-up looked amazing.
"Nancy, you're a miracle worker. I appreciate it!"
"No problem. I love these colors on you. Too dark for my taste, but they suit you."
We smiled at each other, put on our masks, wrapped an arm around each other, and squeezed each other's shoulders.
"Well... you ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
Nancy took my hand and we headed upstairs.
~~~~~
"AHHHHH!!! You... look... amazing. Eddie's gonna flip his shit."
"Thanks, Robin."
"Alright girls, get together. I want some pictures. Make sure you have your masks."
"Mom, wait. Where's Max and El."
"We're right here!" Max yelled, dragging El behind her.
We all gathered in my living room in front of the fireplace, pushing and shoving, trying to get situated.
"Alright, girls. Everyone look this way. One... two... three!"
"Cheeeeeeese!" We all chimed in unison.
We appeased our parents with several photos and that's when we heard the horns.
"Ooo! They're here. Come on let's go!"
Robin grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the front door. Standing in the driveway we watched as two limos pulled up the street. Girls and mothers alike joined the reprise or 'ooo's' and 'ahh's' and 'wows' as the boys piled out of the limos dressed to the nine. They were all so handsome.
"I don't see Eddie."
As soon as the words left my lips it was like the parting of the Red Sea. All the boys moved to the side to reveal Eddie in a devil mask wearing all black save for the red paisley vest and the trim that lined his leather waistcoat. It was gothic steampunk meets metalhead pirate. When he removed his mask he was smiling.
"Someone catch me, I think I'm gonna faint."
Robin grabbed my arm. It was like time stopped, save for Eddie and me. I stood there with my jaw on the ground, eyeballing him up and down as the boys made their way toward us. It was like watching a slow-motion male model montage. When Eddie was finally in front of me he pulled a single long-stemmed rose from behind his back and presented it to me.
"My lady."
I took it hesitantly, unable to speak. I just gawked trying to find my voice.
"You um... ha! Good God you look... so goddamn fuckable," I managed to whisper.
He chuckled. "Hmm, later. I see you followed my instructions. You look absolutely gorgeous. And the bunny mask? Excellent touch."
"I like yours too. Is that your way of protesting your participation in the forced social conformity?"
He chuckled and nodded. "I thought you'd appreciate that."
He claimed my lips with so much passion I forgot we were surrounded by a giant group of people, including my parents.
"Alright, alright. Break it up you two."
We broke apart in protest. Eddie looked at the ground sheepishly, and I pawed at my face, making sure my make-up wasn't a mess.
"Um, sorry Dad."
"Yeah, I'm sorry Mr. Y/l/n. She's just..." Eddie turned to look at me, "so beautiful."
"Mm-hm, she's also my little girl, so mind your manners." My dad held out his hand to Eddie, which he shook happily and with much relief. "You clean up nice, Eddie."
"Thanks, Mr. Y/l/n." They smiled before my dad clapped Eddie's shoulder in approval.
"Oh, get outta the way. Let me take a look at you, Eddie." My mom cupped his cheeks and gave him a once-over. "You look so handsome."
She trapped him in a hug, kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and smiled.
"Thank you, Mrs. Y/l/n."
He kissed my mom's hand, making her blush, and then she ran to her next victim.
"Gareth Emerson, get your butt over here! Ooo, and who is this pretty lady?"
My mom's voice trailed off and Eddie and I laughed, focusing on each other. After several minutes of socializing and more pictures, I reminded my parents that we were all spending the night at Steve's, and then we finally made our way inside the limos and headed to Hawkins Hall.
~~~~~
The prying eyes were everywhere, but to our surprise, they were out of delight and not hatred.
"Bunny, is it just me, or have the jocks backed off lately?"
"Yeah, I may've had something to do with that."
"Oh? How's that?"
"Well, Monday was the last straw, so I told Carver that if he doesn't shut his dick licker and leave us and the other outcasts alone, the whole school would find out what he and his goons do in the locker room when they think no one's looking."
"Hahaha! What?! Are you serious?"
"Mm-hm."
"And how, pray tell, did you come across that juicy bit of gossip?"
"Well, it pays to have an ex-jock as a friend."
"Wha... Harrington told you this?!"
"That I did, my good man." Steve appeared out of nowhere and clapped Eddie on the shoulder. "Y/n came to the video store a few months back practically in tears, and I was pissed. I can't stand those assholes either, so... I figured that information might come in handy."
"Harrington, I could kiss you."
"Please don't."
They both smiled, and with a chuckle, Eddie patted Steve on the back.
"Thanks for the help, man. You're alright."
Steve gave Eddie's shoulder another pat and proceeded to escort Robin into the building. ~~~~~
I'm surprised none of us passed out from exhaustion. We sat only to eat. The rest of the time we were on the dance floor regaling each other with our moves.
Lucas was a break dancing and moonwalk prodigy. Dustin is a master at the worm. Max and El can replicate any Madonna move known to man. It was a fucking riot. We were cracking each other up with the more ridiculous dances, like me catching Eddie with the fishing pole, Steve and Robin doing the sprinkler, Steve, Eddie, Jonathan, Robin, me, and Nancy doing the library dance from 'The Breakfast Club', all the younger boys doing the Robot, and the lot of us doing the running man. Eddie even had a chance to flaunt his usual shenanigans, which meant dancing on top of a table. That was until Mrs. S. came over and made him get down. And me being a closet disco nerd was forced by Robin to do John Travolta's dance from Saturday Night Fever. I was so fucking nervous, but the cheers, and accompaniment of several other students who also knew the dance, including Robin and Chrissy Cunningham, helped my fear to dissipate. And of course, the majority of the student body performed Michael Jackson's Thriller. At the end of the night, to no one's surprise, Jason and Chrissy were crowned prom king and queen.
It was almost surreal. For the first time in... well, ever... there was no anger or animosity. Everyone in the building was getting along, and when it came time to leave, Chrissy made sure to find me and tell me how much fun she had dancing with me. She gave me a sincere smile and a big hug, but the strangest thing of all was when Jason confronted Eddie, but instead of disdain he offered a handshake thanking him for the entertainment. Eddie accepted his hand and congratulated him on winning prom king, and they actually smiled at each other. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.
When it came time for the after-party at Steve's house, Eddie and I took the opportunity to slip away and head back to his trailer so we could be alone.
~~~~~
We devoured each other like animals as we made our way through his trailer to his room. Feverish, sloppy kisses, lips and chins and necks, back to lips, until he pulled away, revealing a malevolent smile.
"As gorgeous as you are in this dress... I've been waiting all night to get you out of it. Off... now."
I did as he commanded, slowly peeled off my dress, and let it fall to the floor. My black lace bra and panties, stalkings, and garter belt were all that remained.
"Jesus Christ, you're stunning, Bunny."
Eddie stared at me with a carnal desire, drinking in the sight of my body, removing his clothing until he was shirtless. He advanced toward me slowly and started running his hands gently up my sides, and around my shoulders so he could unclasp my bra. I stood completely still as he dropped the flimsy article to the floor. He backed away slowly, his eyes glued to my tits. When he met my gaze I made a show of removing my panties, but when I tried to remove my stalkings he grabbed my hands.
"No... leave 'em on. The garter belt too. You're perfect just like this."
Eddie was breathing heavily, blackness consuming his eyes. He leaned forward to trap my nipple between his lips, sucking, licking, teasing each one in turn as I cradled his head, my needy whines and mewells filling the room.
"Mrrmm, Eddie... hyou-you're gonna make me cum."
"Mhhhh..." He released my nipple with a pop and straightened up. "Not yet, Bunny. I wanna taste you first." He gently cupped my tits and licked at my lips until I took his tongue into my mouth. "Hmmm... can I taste you?" He whispered his words, his hot breath sweeping across my face.
"Hhhhyes."
Before I knew it I was on my back, and Eddie was licking a slow, soft trail down my stomach. He latched his lips to the tender flesh of my waistline and sucked a deep purple mark into my skin.
"Mmm... you're mine now, Bunny. I can finally take my time with you."
All I could do was moan at his words. He kissed his mark, knelt on the floor in front of me, and pulled me to the edge of his bed. I could feel his hands, the cool metal of his rings, smoothing gently over my inner thighs, spreading them. I caught the sound of an inhale and felt his warm breath against my wet heat when he exhaled.
"Oh, Bunny, your scent... I need it all over me. On my fingers... my face... hmmm, my tongue. Look at me." I lifted my head long enough for his eyes to silently ask for permission. I gave him a shy nod, but instead of diving in like I figured he would, he lingered, took a quick taste with a flick of his tongue, and savored.
"Mgghh, Christ, that's so sweet."
The instant I felt his fingers slip into my folds I shrieked. His touch was gentle, massaging my thigh with one hand as his fingers barely grazed my inner lips and my clit. It was at that moment I knew that he was hell-bent on torturing me, teasing me, prolonging my pleasure until I was ready to burst. He wasn't going to give me what I so desperately wanted, not until I was begging for it, for him... and I would. I would do anything this man asked of me if it pleased him. When I felt the tip of his finger trace light circles over my clit I wanted to cry. I had a moment's reprieve when he stopped to lick his fingers clean.
"Mmmm, hhhhhh, Bunny, you taste like heaven... but if you don't stop squirming I'm gonna have to pin you down."
"Eddie... wh-why are you being so cruel?"
"Oh, Bunny... I've only just begun."
He blew a light stream of air on my clit until I whined, then he licked me gently from my dripping hole to my hard bud. I was thrashing around, trying to quell the sensation, only to have my thighs pinned to the mattress, by his strong, unyielding grip. Using the tip of his tongue he lightly teased the sensitive skin of my lips, and toyed with my swollen clit until I was sobbing from the pleasure. I tried to touch my sensitive nipples, to rush my release, but he reached up, locked his hands around my wrists, and held them at my sides so he could use his forearms to pin my thighs, then he flattened his tongue and licked from my ass to my clit. I screamed in frustration.
"Eddie, for fuck sake, please! Please let me cum."
He ignored my plea, continuing to fuck me with his tongue until he was ravenous. His pace not letting up as he devoured my pussy like he was starving.
"Holy fucking shit, Munson! Stop... please, just, just fucking stop!"
He halted immediately, breathing heavily. When he took a hand from my wrist to wipe his face, I made my move, twisting violently until I was free of his agonizing hold. I got to my knees, grabbed him by his belt, and pulled him roughly onto the bed, pushing him onto his back. I crawled up his body, straddled his head, and sank my cunt onto his waiting mouth. He dug his fingers into my thighs, the pain shooting through me, but I didn't care. I could finally get what I wanted.
"Mhhhh, Eddie... Yes, YES!" He moaned at my praise, sending chills up my spine. Fuck! The things this man can do with his mouth. I tangled my fingers tightly into his hair and fucked his face. "Munson... hoh... shit, SHIT!!! Hyou... you're gonna tell me... every dirty detail... about how you learned to do this... so fucking well! Fuck, I wanna cum for you!"
He moaned into my pussy. I could hardly control my breathing as small high-pitched whimpers escaped my lips. I was so close to the edge.
"Mhhhhhh..."
The vibrations of his moans, his caressing lips, and the flick of his tongue against my clit were making me buck even harder as his painful grip on my thighs held me steady. I've never felt pleasure like this. He was too good, I could feel a sensation so incredibly earth-shattering building inside me. He must've felt it too 'cause he reached up to tease my nipples, as he feasted, lapped, licked, and sucked at my dripping pussy. My whimpers were loud, shameless, and FUCK were they warranted. I was plunged into a realm of pleasure and bliss, and Eddie was the cause. I let go of his hair, cupped his hands over my tits, and ground my pussy against his face as I experienced the most intense orgasm in the history of sex.
"OhhhhhhFUCK!!! Oh... GOD!... Eddie, EDDIE... Holy SHIT!!!"
"Mmmm, that's it, Bunny. Mhhhhhh."
I continued screaming his name as he greedily sucked and lapped at the sticky mess that poured from my pussy.
"Mmmmm! Fuck! You're taste... it's so goddamn satisfying! Hhhmm!"
He lapped once more at my overstimulated clit. I tried to steady my breathing as I climbed off of him, collapsing onto my back. Breathing heavily he turned his head to look at me, rolled onto his side, and propped himself on his elbow so he could stare at me. His eyes trailed up and down my body, so I decided to tease him. He was in the perfect position to watch. I put my knees up and spread them wide, dipping a finger into my still-dripping folds. I coated it with my slick juices and ran a trail of cum up the middle of my body before raising my finger to his lips. He let out an adorable whimper before sucking it clean.
"Mmmmm... Jesus Christ... you're fucking intoxicating."
He shifted his body, hovering above me so he could trace the trail of cum with his tongue, then he pressed his weight against me, kissing me deeply, passionately before he got to his knees to unbuckled his belt. He undid his pants and pushed them off. Once they were on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothing, he leaned over me, the head of his throbbing cock pushing against my heat. He took my hard peaks into his mouth once more gently teasing my sensitive nipples with the tip of his tongue. The soft tickles were too much to bear, and I almost came, only to be denied. He sat back on his heels, his knees spread wide so his massive erection was standing at attention between my legs, but before he could pull me toward him I quickly got on all fours facing him and wrapped my lips around his swollen head.
"Ohhhhhhhhh..." he breathed out.
He started convulsing as I used my tongue to toy with his slit. I sucked his head into my mouth and slowly swallowed him whole until my nose was touching his coarse, dark pubes. He brushed his fingers through my hair, holding it back so he could watch as I took him in and out of my mouth.
"Oh, Bunny... uhhhhyeah... suck me, beautiful... just like that... ohhhhhh."
Still sitting on his heels he leaned back, braced himself on his hands, and spread his knees wider. I pulled all the way off of him before sucking him into the back of my throat.
"OH!! God...DAMMIT!!!"
I swallowed hard around him, releasing him to catch my breath, and sank again, slurping and gagging as he used one hand to hold my head, and I loved every second of it. When he let me surface for air his chest was heaving. I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed as I vigorously sucked his tip. He sucked in a hiss, his breath catching in his throat, chest heaving as I started to work him faster. His vocals just made me more feral.
"Oh...SWEET JESUS!!! You're... you're fucking phenomenal... Uhhnnggg..."
My strokes and his breathing became more erratic.
"Oh, oh, fuck! That's my good girl, my good Bunny, mhhhhh... keep-keep going. Take me deep. OhhhhhhFuck! YES!"
With his fingers clenched in my hair and his cock lodged deep in my throat, I sucked his soul through his dick. His body was shuddering, jolt after jolt of sexual electricity, until he pulled my head up.
"Jesus Christ! That-that's so fucking good, hhmhh... but I don't wanna cum yet..... HOH! GODDAMN!"
His whole body tensed as I licked him from balls to tip, sucking his sensitive head one last time. When he opened his eyes he caught my smug smile, threw his head back, and started laughing.
"That was payback, you teasing fuck."
His laugh morphed into a heady moan as I trailed my tongue through his pubes, over the wiry muscles of his stomach until I was on my knees, teasing his hard nipple with my tongue. He caressed my head tenderly as I suckled before he forced it up and shoved his tongue down my throat.
"MmmHmmm... hhhhhhh. O-ok, I get it. I've met my match. Now lie back baby girl."
With his knees under my thighs and my hot wet cunt begging to be filled, we made eye contact.
"Oh, Bunny... you're so gorgeous it hurts. Are you ready for me?"
"Munson, if you don't put your dick inside me, like yesterday, I'm never speaking to you again... now fuck me!"
I threw my head back and whimpered as Eddie grasped my thighs and plunged his cock deep inside me.
"Oh, FUCK! Munson! PLEASE!"
I stared at him through half-lidded eyes, mouth agape as I rubbed my tits. With every powerful thrust I became more and more excited... and so very close to another intense orgasm. He used a thumb to tease my sensitive clit. I arched my back, my tits moving up and down with every heavy breath. He dug his fingers into my thigh, still teasing my clit as he continued to pound into me, willing me to scream his name.
"Oh... FUCK! EDDIE!!! Oh my God. I'm gonna cum!!!"
"That's it Bunny... take my cock. Wanna, MRRGGG! Wanna watch your sweet pussy gush from what I do to you. I want it all over me."
"Oh, that fucking mouth, Munson!"
"You mean this mouth?"
He wrapped his arms around the small of my back, leaning down to lick and kiss my navel, then he lifted me upright so he could claim my tits again, licking and sucking as he held me close, his course hair rubbing against my clit as he fucked up into me. My walls started to clench around him, so he laid me down and ran his hand from my tits back to my clit.
"Scream for me, Bunny... scream my fucking name!"
He commanded me, letting his head fall back as he fucked me and continued to rub circles around my clit with his thumb.
"Oh... holy shit, Eddie! EDDIE! Oh my GOD!"
Screaming, I clenched the sheets and a burst of liquid sprayed all over his abdomen.
"YES! OHHHHHHFUCK!!! I'm-I'm gonna bust. C-can I come inside you?"
"Yes! Do it!"
He slammed into me one last time and his whole body tensed.
"Ohhhhh, Fuck!!! God.... DAMMIT!!! HOHHHH, ohhh my gorgeous girl."
His fingers dug into my waist until he rode out his release and collapsed on top of me. I threw my limbs around him as he poured all of his emotion into our kiss. I was on the verge of tears.
"Munson... I love you. I love you so much." We hugged each other so tight. "Hyou... you can do that to me forever if you like."
He looked up, still breathing hard, and smiled. Staring into my eyes with all the love in the world, he brushed some hair from my face, placed one more passionate kiss on my smiling lips, rolled us onto our sides, and pulled me tightly to his chest.
"Hmm, my beautiful, raging... wrathful, Bunny. I love you more than life itself. Ending our friendship was the best decision we ever made."
•••••❤️❤️•••••
Thank you for reading! Be excellent to each other, and get your Munson on!
🤘
Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'... Hi there!
Vinnie Barbarino from 'Welcome Back Kotter'
The Beatles 'Another Girl' video from the movie 'Help'
Your prom dress and mask.
#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fandom#eddie stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#angst#eddie munson fluff#hawkins high#stranger things au#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x female reader#friends to lovers#mutual pining#Eddie Munson prom#18+ mdni#mdni#gareth emerson#jeff stranger things#Doug stranger things#dustin henderson#mike wheeler#steve harrington#robin buckley#max mayfield#lucas sinclair#nancy wheeler
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A young man stands in his bedroom. Today marks a the first day of a new sweep, and while many of his peers would find themselves celebrating with others, the lone boy held no such celebration.
It was atypical, even for the anti-social teen, to not spend the day with someone, but this was the self fulfilling punishment he'd have to bare for obliterating whatever patience his friends had left with him. Of course, it wasn't like he made things any better by going practically MIA out of a desire for them to rid of him. Apparently he was stupid enough to believe they'd let him disappear that easily. He was even more stupid to believe they wouldn't utilize their mutual friend to stage an.... intervention of sorts.
Not that it matters much now, the plan to isolate without a word failed tremendously, yet he still found himself alone. Temporarily, his friends would likely assert.
....
Gee, this guy sure knows how to drag out a description. We haven't even gotten to his name.
Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA and you sit alone in your respiteblock. It'd be a waste of time to list your interests, why would you repeat what you know?
Your friend JADE has been encouraging you to try out a new website apparently meant for 'journaling' or whatever she said. You honestly didn't care much about reading her description of the site as it sounded unappealing. However, you found yourself trying it out anyways out of boredom.
Next
[Blog info under cut]
With this fresh new start to the blog, let me do a basic rundown on this askblog. This askblog is a post-pesterquest au blog, which has been rebooted as I wasn't happy with where we had gotten within the blog. While this takes place after Pesterquest, the most relevant routes you'll need to know at the moment are the Eridan, Jade, Aradia and Dirk routes. If you haven't played or watched Pesterquest, sburb will not be involved directly in this timeline, the kids are staying on their respective planets.
As for the general rules of the blog, no NSFW or suggestive shit even if the characters make a joke or two. Magic anon asks are allowed as well, and the box should be open at all times.
Other than that, cheers for a fresh start!
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Undead AU where a virus spreads through Hope's Peak turning all the Ultimates into undead, meaning they eat flesh, can turn people by biting them, lose their self-control, etc.
Only the lucky students are immune. For the sake of the city, the Hope's Peak faculty lock everyone on campus. The reserve course students are left to fend for themselves against the hungry Ultimates, and the lucksters try to take care of their respective classes. They get bitten copiously in the same way cat owners get bitten a lot, but they're immune, so it's fine.
(The first time he's bitten, Nagito is like, "Aw, it looks like it won't spread to me. That's a shame.")
Nagito pretty quickly resigns himself to trapping reserve course students for his class to eat. He doesn't just let them run loose eating people; he keeps control over their portions, so they don't just kill with reckless abandon.
"Akane, you can't eat both of them by yourself," he chides mildly. "There has to be enough for everyone." (The words "enough for everyone" seem to click even in her undead brain, because she immediately switches gears, making sure everyone gets to eat some.) "Hiyoko...Yeah, it's okay to bite me. Just leave all my limbs intact, if you can. AH! That...really hurt, Ibuki."
Meanwhile, Makoto is unwilling to let his class eat reserve course students at all. He brings them raw meat from the kitchen and works himself up to trapping animals. Maybe he lures a crane to Sayaka to eat, because parallels.
He and Nagito compare notes on their strategies of caring for their classmates; they run into each other in the hallway a lot, and sometimes Makoto catches one of Nagito's classmates sneaking out of their classroom or vice versa.
"Looking for this?" Nagito says, interrupting Makoto's sprint through the hallway. He's walking hand-in-hand with Hina, who is contentedly munching on someone's detached arm.
"Whose arm is that?!" Makoto exclaims. (Chihiro is on his back. She didn't sneak out or anything; she just clings to his back sometimes. She's gnawing at his ear, but he ignores it.) "Did she kill someone?"
"Nope. It was like that when we found it," Nagito lies. "Probably one of the upperclassmen's handiwork." Really, he used the arm of one of the reserve course students he trapped earlier to lure Hina back. And he's letting her keep it, as a treat.
Makoto sighs dejectedly. "They said this is just until they find a cure, right? That's what the headmaster said. The best scientists in the world are looking for a cure. Then everyone will be back to normal."
"Of course. I'm sure it won't be long now."
"...But it's terrible we haven't been able to keep the reserve course safe from them."
"Hey, chin up. It's a small price to pay to keep our classmates healthy."
"I don't think it's a small price at all. They-"
"Ah, I think another one of your charges is loose."
Makoto glances back. "Taka. Thanks for trying to help, but I've really got it covered out here. Why don't you take Chihiro back inside?"
Taka, one of the few undead who still consistently stands upright (though his posture isn't as straight as it once was) takes Chihiro off Makoto's back, and she immediately crawls onto his, resting her head on top of Taka's as he walks back toward their classroom.
"Hina, you want to go share that with Sakura? Yeah, go ahead. Don't let Byakuya see it, okay?"
Hina goes back to the classroom, too.
"I should head back," Nagito says. "If I'm away much longer, half of them will be gone by the time I return. And it's hard enough to wrangle Fuyuhiko; Akane and Gundham will take all day."
"You're bleeding," Makoto observes, with an alarmed frown. "Do you want me to look at that? I have bandages, back at-"
"No thanks. I'm alright."
"Maybe we should switch classes every now and then. Most of my classmates don't really bite all that hard...except Junko. But with her, you just have to be quick."
"Switch classes? That could be interesting..."
One day they do try to switch, but Nagito still gets bitten a lot (He suspects the 78th class think he's hiding Makoto from them; it would explain why a lot of them are hostile.), and Makoto is still mostly unscatched (Though Ibuki does tackle him and drag him to a, for lack of a better word, "nest" that the Ultimate Impostor has built, and he has to kind of just lie there and let them both lightly gnaw at his flesh for a while.). Nagito lets Makoto bandage him up, trying not to blush at the attention.
#danganronpa#komaegi#makoto naegi#nagito komaeda#undead au#akane owari#ibuki mioda#aoi asahina#kiyotaka ishimaru#chihiro fujisaki
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Hi! I love all your posts regarding atla and deep diving into Zuko and Katara's relationship-those analysis's are *chief's kiss* perfect
Anywho, I hope you don't mind me asking, but I'm guessing you heard about Bryke wanting to expand the atla universe, and will be creating a new movies, one of which, with the Gaang as adults, but as far as I know won't have any of the returning head writers like Aaron Ehasz..
so my question is: do you think there is any hope for these movies? Because to me I feel like it might just be a fully animated comic (we all know how those turned out) & just be 2 hrs of Katara and Aang saying "Sweetie" back an forth. Yes I'm still saltly
frankly? no.
and that's not even me saying it as a salty zutara shipper who doesn't want to see kat.aang as an established relationship. i doubt how good these movies are going to be because bry.ke have little-to-no understanding of their characters, especially katara and zuko, and at least since atla, haven't shown the self-awareness to hire a writer's team that can compensate for their shortcomings. i've said it before and i'll say it again: they have great, creative ideas and an excellent eye for stunning visuals and an immersive world. but when it comes to the nuances of characterization and story-building, they cannot do it on their own. lok proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
but more than bry.ke, these movies are also emblematic of a larger problem that i see in multiple franchises: the subordination of creative, meaningful storytelling in service to shameless nostalgia cash-grabbing. ask yourself, do we really need a story about the adult gaang? most of the main plot threads that they could've expanded on from atla have already been (mostly badly) answered in the comics: what happened to ursa, azula's potential redemption, decolonisation, industrialisation vs tradition, the founding of a new air nomad legacy, zuko's struggles as fire lord. any new story would either have to retcon previously established "canon" or put a new spin on old themes. the latter of which i severely doubt bry.ke's capability to pull off, particularly if any level of nuance is required.
atla is slowly but surely heading in the direction of star wars/harry potter/the mcu in producing new material just for the sake of making money instead of truly adding something impactful to the canon. the fact that absolutely no new atla material since the show itself has ever managed to live up to the original is proof that the franchise has no idea what it's doing.
and before someone comes at me to say that it's impossible to ever live up to the original - just take a look at the hunger games revival happening right now. the ballad of songbirds and snakes has been received so well because it isn't just a shameless cash-grab. it's a valuable contribution to the series that expands on the universe and themes of the original trilogy, giving more depth and nuance to the original books instead of detracting from them. because collins adds to the canon only when she has something meaningful to say, and for a franchise that she could have milked to absolute filth, that restraint reflects not only her integrity as a creator, but the value she places on the stories that she tells - which in turn makes her readers value and respect them as well.
and that's a lesson that i think every single storyteller should take to heart. if you want to be respected as a writer, you have to respect your characters and your stories first. because if you, the creator, don't... why should anyone else?
#anti bryke#anti atla comics#anti atla movie#anti kataang#not to include my hunger games brainrot even here but#i think it's the perfect example of a storyteller who respects their craft and the difference that makes#compared to bry.ke and everything they've put out since atla
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sunsets and self doubt (and words left unspoken) - 2.
Main AO3 tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, 2024 Formula 1 Season
Sadie's Faceclaim: Maia Mitchell (but you can visualise her howver you want :) )
warnings: swearing, hints of romance (ugh).
comments: this is a bit of a filler chapter to characterise some things. enjoy :)
Max Verstappen was passing the Mercedes hospitality and chatting to GP, his race engineer, when someone caught his eye. Dark brown hair, round face, sharp nose and an aura that compared to no others.
“Wait- hang on. Lewis! Lewis!” The older man, who had been leaving his hospitality, looked over and his gaze followed Max’s pointed finger. “Mate, is that who I think it is?”
“Yeah man, I think so.” Lewis’ smile only grew as he agreed.
“Who are you pointing to?” GP asked.
Max hoped that there were no cameras around as he said, “the volunteer from Australia. The good one.”
He didn’t know how else to explain his respect for her in English; to him, she was good.
“It’ll be good to finally learn her name,” Lewis mused, scratching at his neat stubble.
“None of you know her name?” the engineer asked.
“No,” Lewis said. “I never had the chance to find her after the interviews.”
“I saw her the next day, I apologised for my behaviour to her,” Max commented. “But I forgot to ask her for her name.”
GP shook his head. “Alright well, I’ll see you in the garage. Don’t be long.”
Max nodded respectfully while Lewis said, “thank you.”
Then they both charged through the crowd towards the last place they saw the woman.
“Bets on her name?” Lewis asked, zipping his Mercedes suit around his hips.
“I don’t know. Something very Australian?”
“I feel like she’s a Layla or a Nira.”
"I think it's Sadie," came Lando's voice as he squished himself between the champions. "I asked Dave, one of the McLaren staff."
But when they reached the spot she had been, she'd vanished.
Max frowned and tried to use his height to see her but it was hopeless. Lewis pulled his phone out of nowhere and dialled a number. Lando just sat on the edge of a nearby pot plant and, as if by magic, Oscar appeared beside him in a matching McLaren t-shirt.
"Heya," Lewis said into his phone. "I'm gonna need a paddock pass for our garage."
A pause.
"No, ass. I haven't found someone for the weekend and I don't intend to. It's for the girl from Melbourne, the volunteer George told you about... Yes, I know Carmen wants to meet her, that's why I'm asking you for a paddock pass."
Lando laughed from his seat, something boisterous and loud that had surrounding staff glancing over. Oscar was smiling like he was the reason for Lando’s outburst. Max was glad to hear the McLaren driver’s laugh again, it had been too long since they had hung out.
"No, I don't know her last name. I haven't even confirmed her first name... I can't ask her, she's not in front of me... I don't know where she is, we saw her from a distance... Max, Lando and Oscar... Alright, fine. We'll find her."
Lewis hung up and sighed with a glance to the sky.
"They won't give you a pass?" Max guessed.
"They need her name first."
"Did you see who she was with?" Lando asked.
"Yeah," Lewis said. "Some paramedics. I recognised Mark, he's been the on-call medic for years."
Max mulled over the fact he hadn't noticed anyone around her. He also mulled over the excitement little Lando Norris was trying to squash.
"I know where the medic tent is." He almost leapt up from his perch.
Oscar gave Max a knowing smirk as they disappeared into the crowd.
——$——
Sadie had no idea the drivers had seen her. She was hoping that none of the drivers would remember her. She still hadn't seen their interviews from Melbourne and was clueless about the actions the FIA had taken to hand out penalties efficiently.
"Hungry?" Mark, a middle-aged paramedic with greying blonde hair and smile lines besides his eyes, asked.
"I am starving, please tell me there is somewhere I can get a decent sanga."
Mark frowned. "Sanga?"
"Sandwich," Sadie corrected. She was almost bouncing as she spotted the food trucks.
"You Australians are weird," Mark quipped but he couldn't hide his smile.
"And you English are uncultured," she returned.
She liked Mark, they'd met yesterday during practices and clicked. He was her supervisor during the free practice sessions and qualifying but she'd stuck by his side off track too. He didn't mind, he knew she was there, on the other side of the world, alone.
He'd told her at the volunteer's group dinner last night that she was living the dream he had wanted to at 20. He'd had a couple wines and would not shut up about how much his wife would love to meet her.
"Mark, what do you want?" she called over her shoulder as the reached the sandwich truck. When he didn't reply, she glanced behind her.
He was 100 metres back, talking to none other than Sir Lewis Hamilton. Sadie turned back around, remembering her interaction with the drivers in Melbourne.
Another body stepped up beside her, swathed in bright orange.
Correction: Papaya.
Sadie didn't turn, assuming it was a McLaren employee looking for some early lunch.
"It's a surprise to see you here." Lando Norris offered the icebreaker.
She turned at his voice and fought to keep her composure. His brown curls swished as he turned his head towards her. Oscar’s equally brown eyes warmed as he smiled and waved slightly from the otherside of Lando.
"I didn't think you'd remember me," she said truthfully. Sadie focused her eyes on the bridge of the older driver’s nose as she spoke, she didn't want to meet those ever-changing eyes. She'd already noted that they matched the day's grey sky.
"Most of us did." The driver shrugged. "Carmen, George's partner, wants to meet you. Lewis is trying to get you Mercedes paddock passes."
Sadie groaned at that, stepping closer to the food truck as the line moved forwards. "I'm not stepping near any of your garages unless I'm doing my job. Too many cameras, too many people."
Norris laughed. "Understandable, but Lewis is determined."
Sadie paused for a moment as the line moved again. "How about, I will come and meet Russell and Carmen after the race? I'll meet Carmen while Hamilton and Russell do their interviews and debriefs?"
The same brown curls swayed as Norris nodded. Piastri muttered, "I think they'll agree to that. All the cameras will be focused on the interviews and top three."
Sadie made an 'exactly' gesture and stepped up to the food truck with a goodbye wave.
By the time she had ordered her sandwich and Mark's signature wrap, the drivers had finished speaking with the paramedic.
He joined her while they waited.
"You never told me it was you who scolded Max in Melbourne," Mark noted.
Sadie muttered a curse. "I was hoping that everyone had forgotten about that. I lost my temper and I'm not proud of it."
"Lewis said that you stood up for yourself. Max doesn’t hold a grudge."
"I scolded him like a school teacher."
"You did call him a child."
"Angry, remember?"
"Sandwich and wrap for Sadie!" the food vendor shouted.
She stepped up, collected their food and handed her wrap to Mark.
"I didn't tell anyone about it because I don't like media attention," she told him, but she could feel her sweaty palms. "I hate how the media follows the drivers. They have to fight for a private life, and I hate that. Verstappen was angry, I was angry, and that interaction was something between the drivers and I. It had nothing to do with the fan's consumption of the race."
Mark hummed his agreement around his wrap. He hadn’t noted her shifting feet.
"The media circus doesn't know what happened, and they don't need to. His reaction was fair, and they don't need to be involved."
Sadie watched something pass over Mark's face but she couldn't place what it was. She devoured her sandwich instead.
Let me know what you think!
credits to saradika-graphics for the banner :)
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | AO3 link
Taglist: @snubug @cmleitora @izzy-marvel @aquangxl @morenofilm @viennakarma @simpingcorner @randomgirlnumber-13 @leilanixx @spookystitchery @itsjustkhaos
#f1#formula 1#f1 fic#formula one#lando norris#max verstappen#lewis hamilton#f1 x oc#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#sunsets and self doubt#oscar piastri
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That last fic 😳 some jealous or possessive Rebecca pls ?
Absolutely!! Love me a little jealous Rebecca😉
Thanks so much for the request!💕
The last few months have been a whirlwind to say the least. What started out as a drunk make out session with Rebecca after a long night of celebrating a big win, quickly turned into you two casually hooking up a couple of times a week. It was great at first, no strings attached, sneaking around at work, you both subtly trying to turn the other one on during the day, the best sex you've had in a long time, it was damn near perfect. That was until you started to catch feelings and slowly wanted more.
You knew what the arrangement was between the two of you and you respected it, but you had this feeling that slowly began to eat away at you. Instead of looking at her as your hot fuck buddy, you slowly started finding the beauty in every thing she did; you were captivated by how her eyes sparkled when she laughed, how cute you found her crows feet in the corners of her eyes, how it took every ounce of self control in your body to not kiss the laugh lines around her gorgeous smile.
Once the feeling became too much you broke down and told her about how you really felt, how you didn't expect her to return the feelings because it's not what either of you signed up for. To no surprise, Rebecca said she enjoyed the arrangement the two of you had and had no desire to take it any further. It hurt hearing her say that, but you weren't surprised and respected her wishes and tried your best to keep things as they were. When your feelings for her only got stronger you decided you needed to take a break from it and although she was disappointed, she understood and she seemed to respect you more for your honesty.
The two of you were able to stay civil, friends even. Of course there were a few brief moments of weakness on both of your parts and you had a stray hookup here, a one night stand there, but it never went further. Even when you weren't seeing each other, casually or otherwise, you both still flirted with each other once in awhile in the office or when you went out as a group or out to lunch with Keeley.
Usually you tried to attend as many Richmond games as possible, but tonight you weren't able to make it. When the match was over you get a phone call from Keeley.
"Y/n!!"
"Hey Keels!"
"We won! We're going out to celebrate, I'll be there to pick you up in 30 minutes!"
"Okay!" You say as you laugh. "I'll be ready when you get here!"
Guess you were going out tonight, which truthfully you were excited about since you feel like you haven't went out and had fun in a while. Combing through your closet you find a cute, borderline sexy dress and throw it on. After fixing your hair and makeup you look in the mirror and you're impressed with what you were able to throw together in such a short amount of time. In that moment you get a text from Keeley saying she's here and you grab your bag and jacket and head out the door.
"Damn you look hot!!" She says when you get in the car.
"Why thank you, you're not lookin' too bad yourself!"
"Rebecca is gonna drool when she sees you." Keeley says playfully.
"Oh stop, first of all, we're not even doing that anymore and secondly, it was supposed to be a secret!"
"You know you can't hide things like that from me, I'll always figure it out!"
You laugh at her boldness, even though she was right. Both you and Rebecca were doing a good job at keeping your relationship quiet but somehow Keeley picked up on it almost immediately. Even though she promised not to tell anyone, you're pretty sure she ended up telling Roy. Every time he saw you and Rebecca together, even if you were in a meeting with a bunch of other people he'd give the both of you a look. It bothered the shit out of you and he knew it, which is probably why he kept doing it.
Keeley pulls up to the club and you both get out of the car and head in. You can feel the bass of the music in your chest as you walk through the crowd of people to the VIP section the team was in. The team cheers when they see you and Keeley and you greet everyone. Out of the corner of your eye you see Rebecca walking over. She gives Keeley a hug and gives you a friendly hug. One of the players calls your name and you turn your attention to them but you can see Rebecca staring at you in your peripheral vision.
It's been a few weeks since you last got together; you so badly wanted to pull her into the bathroom and lock the door. Instead you decide to settle on grabbing a drink and a shot and see if you can find someone in the club to distract you for the night.
At the bar you down your shot and begin to sip on your drink, eyeing the crowd. Every so often your eyes land on Rebecca sitting on one of the couches behind the roped off VIP section, but you quickly divert your attention elsewhere.
~~~~~~
Sitting on the couch, Rebecca eyes you at the bar. She watches you take the shot the bartender handed you, her eyes travelling down your body.
"Wow she looks good in that dress." Rebecca thinks to herself as she admires you from afar. After you take the shot she sees you turning in her direction and she quickly looks away, not wanting you to catch her staring. Rebecca was the one who said she didn't want to take it further than friends with benefits, the last thing she wanted was for you to see her pining for you across the room.
As much as she would hate to admit it, Rebecca did miss you. She really began to enjoy your company and looked forward to seeing you in, and outside, of the office. Thinking back on it, Rebecca was the one who usually reached out to you first to meet up, or pulled you into a supply closet or empty room in the office for a quickie.
When you admitted your feelings for her, she got scared, she genuinely enjoyed where you two were and was afraid to ruin it. The last real relationship she was in was with Rupert and we all know how that ended. It's not that she didn't really like you, it was more so that she was afraid of getting hurt, or hurting you.
~~~~~~~
As you scan the crowd you look for a potential suitor for the night. It's not that you were looking to take someone home, you were really just looking for someone to have fun with before you went home, preferably alone. If something more to develop and you happened to not go home alone, well whatever was going to happen, you were gonna let it happen.
In the crowd you catch the gaze of a gorgeous pair of blue eyes, a handsome man, probably about your age if not a little older. Dark brown hair, a very short, well manicured beard and a jawline to die for. This man was good looking, probably exactly what you needed to get your mind off of Rebecca and to have a good time with. You flash him a smile and turn back to the bar, the ball was in his court.
Within a few minutes you notice someone walk up next to you at the bar. Making eye contact with the gorgeous blue eyes once more, you're pleased to see the handsome man you made eye contact with earlier.
"Hey." He says, his voice velvety and on the deeper end of the vocal range.
"Hey." You say, smiling back.
"I apologize if this is too forward, but, I couldn't help but notice you earlier. You're beautiful. May I buy you a drink?"
"A gentleman? In this club? Either I've hit the lottery or you have ulterior motives." You playfully reply.
He laughs at your joke and smiles at you.
"Is it such a crime to want to buy a beautiful woman another round of her probably way too sweet, fruity cocktail?"
"I would be very offended if this wasn't exactly what you described it as. But if you insist, who am I to deny a handsome man from buying me another drink?"
He laughs again and reaches out his hand.
"I'm James."
"Y/n." You say, shaking his hand.
"And what brings you here tonight y/n?"
"Just here with a few of my friends." You avoid telling him you're with the team, the last thing you want is to have to parade this guy around introducing him to his favorite players. "How about you?"
"I'm here celebrating my friends birthday, he insisted this is where he wanted to go. Normally a place like this isn't really my thing."
"Ah, and what usually is your thing?"
"Hanging out in the backyard with some friends, a good playlist, a bonfire and good alcohol."
You gently pinch his arm and he laughs. "What was that for?"
"Just making sure you're real and not a figment of my imagination."
~~~~~~
Rebecca looks back over at the bar and watches an incredibly handsome man make his way over to you. Intently staring as the two of you begin talking, she grips her glass a little tighter when she sees you flirting with him. Rebecca's heart begins to beat a little harder when she watches you bite your bottom lip as you look at him, as the two of you laugh. Her body stiffens when she watches you pinch his arm, no doubt making a flirtatious joke as you bat your eyelashes at him.
It took all of the energy she had, but she was finally able to peel her eyes away from the two of you and down her drink. After taking a deep breath she sets her glass down and heads over to the bar, convincing herself it was just to get another drink.
~~~~~~
The bartender puts down your drink that James bought you just as you finish the one you were sipping on.
"So, y/n, what do you do?"
"I'm in marketing. How about you?"
"Very cool, I just graduated from law school."
"Oh, very fancy."
"Yeah, I just got a job at my dads firm."
"Ah, there it is."
"What does that mean?" He asks, pretending to be offended.
"I'm just joking, that's very kind of your father to give such an inexperienced law school graduate a job at his fancy firm." You tease.
"That's fair." He laughs.
It surprises you how captivated you are by this man. His blue eyes sparkle in the lights, he has a beautiful smile, hell, everything about this man is beautiful. You gently bite your lower lip as you study the details of his face.
The conversation flowed so naturally between the two of you, you didn't even notice Rebecca was standing next to you until you heard her voice when she ordered a drink from the bartender. Without even realizing it, you turn towards her when you hear her voice and she looks over at you.
"Hey." You say with a smile.
"Hello, having fun?" She asks.
"I am, are you?"
"Mhm." She says as she nods.
James draws your attention back to him when you feel his hand on your arm.
"Would you do the honor of dancing with me, y/n?"
"I would love to."
He takes your hand and leads you out to the dance floor and you begin dancing with him. You watch his eyes as they travel up and down your body as you sway your hips to the music, they finally travel back up to meet yours and a light blush crosses his cheeks.
"I didn't mean to stare, you're just really beautiful."
"You're not too bad looking yourself, I think I can forgive you."
James twirls you and pulls you back so your back is against his chest. His hand slides down your waist and holds onto your hip as you both dance together, you sip on your drink and sway your hips, dropping down a little and coming back up. Looking over your shoulder you look into his eyes and smile and look away, the grip on your hip tightens.
"If this keeps going at this pace, I'm going to end up going home with his guy." You think to yourself.
~~~~~~
Rebecca watches as you turn back towards the incredibly handsome man and walk hand-in-hand with him to the dance floor. A knot in her stomach forms as she watches the two of you dance, she's so focused on watching you she didn't notice the bartender trying to get her attention.
"£13 ma'am."
"Oh, sorry. Here." She says, handing him her card. She takes a sip of her drink and signs the receipt and puts her card away and looks back over at you. Her stomach drops when she sees you two grinding, her stare intensifies when she watches you slowly drop low and sway your hips back up as you look at him over your shoulder. Rebecca looks over at the bartender.
"Two tequila shots please."
The bartender hands her the shots and she downs them back to back. After getting her card back she makes her way back to the VIP section and reclaims her seat on the couch. Of course she has a perfect view of the both of you, something she's not sure if she's happy or miserable about.
~~~~~~
James spins you around so you're face to face and you both dance for a few more songs, you finish your second drink and you both head back up to the bar and take a shot. At this point the alcohol is taking it's affect and you're feeling good. Not trashed, but you're definitely drunk and happy and all you seem to catch yourself doing is staring at James' lips as you gently bite yours.
"What are you looking at pretty girl?" He whispers in your ear.
"You." You say back, getting lost in his crystal blue eyes. "Fuck you have the prettiest eyes."
"What can I say, I have great genes."
"I'll say so."
James gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and his thumb travels down your jaw before coming to rest on your chin.
"Can I kiss you?" He asks as he looks into your eyes.
"I'd be offended if you didn't."
His hand slides to the back of your head and he pulls you in for a kiss. You're met with warm, soft lips, damn he was a good kisser. Feeling his tongue caressing your lip you part them inviting him in. Gently flicking his tongue across yours, you gently moan into this mouth and he deepens the kiss.
~~~~~~
Rebecca doesn't take notice of anything else around her except you and James. The knot in her stomach twists harder as she watches you two get closer and closer as you dance. Her eyes follow you to the bar as she watches you both take a shot, she sees the way you look at him and her body begins to heat with frustration. That's how you would look at her, she would give anything to be in his spot right now. A lump in her throat begins to develop when she watches him lean into your ear and whisper something. When he pulls you in to kiss you she freezes, not even realizing she dropped her drink, glass shattering everywhere. Before she knows what's happening, she's making her way over to you, she has no idea what she's going to say o do, but she can't stand there anymore and just watch you go home with anyone else but her.
~~~~~~~
James gently sucks on your bottom lip as your lips part, you gaze into his eyes as his hands cup your face.
"Damn, and you're a good kisser?"
"What can I say? I'm a talented guy."
You both laugh and you flirtatiously reply "oh I'm sure you are."
Just as he's about to respond you feel a hand on your arm, James drops his hands and you turn, surprised to see Rebecca standing there.
"Hey-"
"I have to talk to you." She says as you notice her eyes gloss over. "Now."
"Oh, okay," you turn back to James. "Sorry, give me a second."
"No worries, you know where to find me." He says with a wink and walks off.
Rebecca grabs your hand and pulls you into a secluded corner of the club.
"Rebecca, what's-"
You're interrupted when her lips crash into yours, surprising you for a moment. In an instant you melt into her, her lips feeling like home. She gently sucks on your lip and you part your lips, eagerly inviting her tongue in to meet yours. Her fingers tangle themselves in your hair and you wrap your arms around her waist, pulling her closer to you.
When your lips finally part you're both left gently panting, you look up into Rebecca's eyes and you see rogue tears falling.
"What's the matter?"
"I'm sorry." She says quietly.
"Sorry for what?"
Rebecca looks deep into your eyes.
"For pushing you away, for not wanting to take this further. I- I wasn't being totally honest when I said I didn't feel the same way." Your breath hitches as you hear her speak. "I did, I do, I was just so scared. I didn't want to ruin what we had, I didn't want to get hurt again, or hurt you. But I don't care about any of that. Because I never want to see you kissing anyone else ever again."
"Rebecca-"
"I don't care how possessive or crazy I sound, I need you to be mine." She tightens her grip on you and leans in closer. "I need you. Fuck I might love you I don't know all I know is the pain I felt watching you and it terrified me and I never want to feel that way again."
"Oh thank god, I've been waiting to hear you say that for months." You say as you close the distance between the two of you one more and kiss her, hard.
After you make out for another minute your lips part and Rebecca looks into your eyes.
"Come home with me."
"Right now?"
"Yes. Right this second."
"Lead the way baby." You say, your voice sultry.
"Fuck, thank god my house is only ten minutes away."
Rebecca leads you to the VIP area and you grab your things, your hand not once leaving hers. She calls her driver to pull around to the front of the club and she pulls you out of the club and into the car. Completely forgetting about James, you straddle Rebecca's lap in the back seat as soon as you get into the car and head to her house.
#rebecca welton x reader#hannah waddingham#rebecca welton#rebecca welton fanfic#willalove75#ted lasso#ted lasso fic#wlw fanfic
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Tech Girlie Diaries: being the youngest and only female software engineer on the team
👄 honest stories/lessons only 💅
I just found out I'll get to mentor my first female intern at work and I'm so excited!!! It's so rare that we (not even just our team but the company as a whole) get female interns 🥺 which got me thinking about everything I want to impart to this bright, young mind ✨ since I was once in her shoes 🩰 just without a female mentor 😔 Don't get me wrong(!!), I love my mentors and every chance I get to work with them has been great — they're literally the best dudes I've ever met 🥲 but there are some ~tech girlie things~ that guys just... don't have to deal with in the same way.
Hopefully, if you're also a woman in tech or an ally, these can help you too ☺️ and please let me know in the comments/reblogs/dms/asks if there's anything else I might've missed that you think my mentee should know! ❤️
Unburden Yourself: you do not represent all women ♀️
When I first joined this company as an intern, I was only the second female intern they'd ever had and their first backend female intern. There were no backend female engineers. I felt like I had to constantly prove myself against these bros who seemed to eat, sleep, and breathe code.
But I quickly realized, through the consistent kindness and respect my male colleagues gave me, that it is not a competition (unless it's a bug-solving hackathon, in which case, all other teams can suck it 🍭😜) and no one thinks for a second that I am a representative token of my gender.
Unfortunately, this diversity-affirming culture is still not the case in all workplaces, so this is the Most Important Thing to remember: that you deserve to be treated kindly and with respect by your colleagues AND yourself, so don't settle for anything less! 💕
Take the Day: Care for Yourself First🥇
After finding out I took basically no holidays for a year, my manager at the time was appalled and granted me a month-long vacation (it was amazing). He then proceeded to (kindly) lecture me on the fact that I was no longer an intern and working full-time means making a conscious effort to Not Burn Out™️. My current manager still gives me well-meaning lectures to the same effect, so I guess I haven't really taken this lesson to heart yet?? 🙈 I'll give some examples from what I should've done instead 😂
If that time of the month is killing you and you're straight-up collapsing at your desk: TAKE THE DAY OFF
If your back and wrists are killing you to the point that you physically cannot sit and type: TAKE THE DAY WEEK OFF
If you have personal/family struggles you need to be fully present for: TAKE THE DAY WEEK MONTH OFF
... You get the idea.
Be Your Most Effective Self 🌷
My current manager (literally one of the strongest women I know) and I work well together even though (or maybe precisely because) we have completely different personalities. She is direct, serious, and very goal-oriented 🎯 I tend to take a softer approach, can be completely unserious, and more people/morale focused 🍒
When I was starting out, I really felt I had to be more like my current manager so that people would respect me and take me seriously 😳 That thought daunted me so much because it's totally opposite my natural personality. It wasn't until people started telling me that my personality was a big part of why people like working me and want me on their teams that I started to learn to play to my strengths 💪
Despite our differences, my manager and I are both effective engineers in our own ways ☺️
Good Girls Get What They Deserve 💸
I have been unashamedly aggressive about what I want in my career.
Worked my butt off 🍑 for 2 promotions in 2 years 🌟 when it usually takes twice the amount of time for both! 🏃♀️
Communicated my desire to move into management someday to gain more mentorship / project leadership roles and experience 🤓
Your own growth and trajectory is what you have the most control over. Sometimes that means taking a well-deserved break, other times that means hustling and negotiating and networking until you make your dreams a reality.
I've lost count of how many companies I've applied to before landing this job and how many mistakes I've needed to correct even in my current position! So sometimes too, maintaining control means realizing that when you are denied/fail to attain certain opportunities, it makes you available to attend to others that may even be better suited to you in the long-run! 🏃♀️
💌: Say it with me, ladies: 🕯️❤️ The new year will be my year! I got this! ❤️🕯️
#workblr#studyblr#internship#software engineer#software engineering#software#women in tech#women in stem#engineering#stemblr#study motivation#study inspiration#that girl#it girl#pink aesthetic#light academia#codeblr#coding#programmer#comp sci#progblr#developer#mentoring#zesty's life#women in leadership#career#advice#woman in tech#woman in stem#stem academia
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Here's some RE Separate Ways analysis that isn't about shipping because I like Ada. I'm happy her DLC actually focuses on her, but some of the takes I'm seeing are Insufferable. Main statements in bold for ease of reading and skipping purposes.
-Wesker and Ada haven't been working together consistently for the past 6 years. This dripless bitch is calling Ada every five minutes to babysit her. I don't think that's the relationship dynamic of someone you're regularly employed under, and when it is, Ada is not the type of character to tolerate that behavior for 6 years. We know Ada is a contract worker. We can understand she's worked for Wesker on and off, but she's a freelance agent period. She must've done enough jobs for Wesker that he feels the need to check on her and have this constant reporting in to make sure she stays on task since he's clearly used to her not always following his orders. He 100% hired her for this assignment because he knew the situation and compared to the other options, she had the highest survival chances. Which, he was right. High risk, high reward.
Sometimes Wesker's babysitting works: Ada holding Luis at gunpoint when he tries to negotiate saving Leon and Ashley. Sometimes he knows when to step away: "Keep your dog." All of it is in the effort to get what he wants. Look, he let her live. He worked with S.T.A.R.S for years and wanted them all dead. If he worked with Ada regularly and she pulled this shit with the amber, he would've had that helicopter blown out of the sky. There's always some restraint with personal distance, especially with a guy who thinks so highly of himself.
-Luis is a drama queen. In the regular game, Luis acts cool and under control to the best of his abilities around Leon and Ashley. It's a part of his newly found hero-complex even though he does still know when to ask for help: "save me prince charming!" In the DLC, we see the real side of Luis. The one who's scared, and dramatic, and knows when he's not shooting with a loaded gun so to speak. When Ada tells him to leave her to fight, he does. He wants to help, but his respect for her abilities sends him fleeing like she orders him to. Also, like every scientist, he has zero self-preservation! He ran into a fire that clearly would kill him to get medicine. And the exchange afterwards? "No! Now you'll all die!" "Make some more medicine." "Oh..yeah...I can do that. I do have that ability."
The flamenco dance. "Are you mad at me???🥺 You're mad at me!😭" This man understands Ada can kill him without blinking, but still can't keep his composure around her. This is such a fun dynamic to explore in fic for expansion stories and "Luis lives" au's. The DLC gives him breaks to freak out and panic, whereas the main game holds the "cool persona" moments after Leon saves him. Even his dying words to Ada. This man is bleeding to death and still can't shut up. I love him.
Okay, that's all I gotta say about the loser men. Now for the star of the DLC. Ada. :)
-Ada "Sans Undertale go into my eyes" Wong. The methods Ada uses in the DLC are fun and appropriate. It's not invasive and in your face unlike another agent, but more subtle. She can track footprints, fingerprints, gauge the safe distance required for her grappling hook, and she knows when she needs to fight and whens he needs to run. Her practicality has always been the cleanest of the entire cast due to her being a spy, but this time we actually get to see this trait utilized through her tools.
-Ada is silly and quips her own jokes to get through it. Something I'm not seeing anyone talk about including the aeon people who are claiming anything they can get, is this specific humor parallel between Leon and Ada in the remake. Both of them have gone through the horrors of Raccoon City. Both of them went right back into very difficult military in function style work which always has a body count. I talked about Leon's humor coping mechanism here [X], but to hear Ada do the same thing? I feel like they went under the radar because they don't sound as stupid as Leon's quips, but they are still so stupid. "Nighty night." "Lights out." "Bring me a real challenge next time." "Now look at the mess you've made." "You think that gun will be enough?" She and Leon even share the same "Next," line!
If I had 80GB to spare on the game, I'd see just how many more I could get out of her. Like, these are dumb as hell. She's found a method to cope with the horrors she's witnessing that just so happens to coincide with Leon's. I'm not saying this as a marker of whatever romance you've tossed them in or even to diss any other romances. What I am saying is that they have a similar type of mental illness resulting from trauma, and they ended up using the exact same coping method despite never seeing each other.
Ada fans who hate Leon! This opens a door for you when it comes to character analysis and how Ada deals with her PTSD and/or depression! Run through it RIGHT NOW!
-Ada's infection pulls a lot more weight than it seems. I've seen some people say Ada's parasite should've been removed the same as Leon's and Ashley's. (Which is an extremely unsubtle argument to get them all in the same room for your shipping nonsense.) However, something I noticed with the DLC were the parallels to the troubles in RE2. The Black Robe/U-3/Pesenta monster is the first time where we get to see Ada dealing with a stalking enemy. Due to RE4 being so much more plot-lined streamed to maintain the flow of gameplay, these events were not allowed to be random, but the narrative purpose remains. Ada gets to have a stalking enemy in her DLC like Claire and Leon did in RE2 with the addition of a hubris check.
The hubris check? Well, Ada has never been infected until this DLC. In the original games, she can step back and watch people die because she doesn't know what it feels like. Now she knows what it feels like. The lack of control. The pain. The slow turning. Her job has had her flirting with death for years, but not in a way she can't fiddle with the odds. A parasite is not something a person can distract with words. The action to steal the amber is backed up via personal experience not just a morality code slapped on. The addition of Wesker's correction to "billions of causalities" means she's included in that number and just cements her incentive to flee. She's not doing this for Leon. She's not doing this for Luis. She's doing this for herself, and if it so happens to help other people then it is what it is. After being on both sides of the coin when it comes to viruses, she can no longer function as entirely impartial to the work she's doing.
-Ada doesn't ask for permission but asks for forgiveness. Don't take this phrasing literally. She doesn't ask Wesker to forgive her. What this means is that she'll do something before asking, and if it upsets people then she'll course correct. Her job is not the kind of job where she needs to take orders for every action she implements which is why Wesker calling every five minutes was annoying as hell. In the OG RE4 she kind of argues with Wesker for Leon to live for "his usefulness", but it's swiftly shut down until it's convenient to Wesker for Leon to live. This forces her to sneak around and betray Wesker multiple times to save Leon secretly, and the concept rightfully gets thrown into the garbage for the remake DLC.
The scene in the bedroom where Wesker tells Ada not to become a liability after taking her blood? Ada doesn't fight to get her shit back. Some people said this was flirting. Wrong. This is Ada seeking forgiveness after the fuck up of passing out in the middle of an active field by letting Wesker walk off with an infection sample. She then makes sure not to fuck up a second time in the same way, and she doesn't. She learns the signs of her parasite so in case she does pass out again, she'll be somewhere much less conspicuous. She listens for the changes in her environment and the feelings in her body and prepares herself for what's next.
-Ada saves Leon and Ashley for Luis' sake. I stated earlier that Ada's action to take the amber was for her own sake but ends up helping others. This is the exact situation going on when Luis talks about getting the suppressant. She needs the suppressant in order to do her job and kill the black robe so she can heal. It just so happens that Leon and Ashley need the suppressant for survival reasons too. They are an afterthought until Luis dies.
We watch Ada question Wesker and his plans all throughout this DLC, and she comes to her own conclusions after her experience working with him. She could've gotten the amber back and let the whole place blow into smithereens like Wesker intended. Who cares about the president's daughter? Who cares about another dead federal agent? Luis did. He cared so much he died for it, and just like that other clown in Raccoon City (aka her), she got emotionally attached. If there was anything she could've done for Luis to make his death mean something, it was this act.
-Ada sells Leon's jacket. This isn't analysis, but I thought this was funny as hell. ACAB! No exceptions! Freeze your tiddies off, Leon! I don't give a shit!
-Ada's new outfit is still better than her old one. It's still not the best they could've given her. I'm also not speaking from a fashion point of view when I say this. In the OG RE4 we see Leon in a jacket which is forcibly removed to show off his pecs to the ladies, but it clearly marks a colder time of year. OG RE4 Ada has arms out, legs out, and tits out because a hoe never gets cold. The sweater dress for the remake re-establishes that it's colder here because even Luis doesn't lose his jacket. Ashley doesn't lose her jacket either until they yoink it off her for ritual reasons. I still hate that the thigh high boots have that heel and would prefer the flats, but that's going to be in the complaint paragraph below.
-Capcom sexism at play once again. I don't give a shit about rigs and motion capture or whatever, her walk cycle was 2 adjustments from being full Bayonetta, and I hate it. The ass shots? Disrespectful. Her heels didn't have to be that high. Never heard of a kitten heel? They exist. The people who worked on RE3 Remake and worked on this DLC sure love to make a woman vomit don't they? Why the fuck was she so clean the entire game? She was being thrown around and tossed in the dirt a lot, but this woman's skin is shinier than a waxed apple. Either she has some wet wipes on hand, or god forbid women get filthy. Absolutely zero reason she shouldn't have been looking as rough as Leon by the time she gets on the helicopter! No reason at all!
That's all they wrote! I love Ada. I loved this DLC, and I loved the dynamics going on here even though I hated every time Wesker was on screen or opened his mouth at all.
As much as I would love to expand this post and go further into the changed Ada and Leon relationship, I frankly hate all the takes I've been seeing so much on either side of the Aeon debate. I hate the ongoing conversation around it so much that I don't know if I want to discuss this at all. The Aeon should've gotten this if not for Luis and Ashley side and the Aeon is dead side going back and forth with each other? All of you put on your clown noses! None of you are looking at this situation objectively to see where the lines cross and where they run alongside each other, and frankly I'm tired! I could clear this whole table off so both of you can get exactly what you want based on what you're not actually interpreting from this media, but I won't! Kill each other!
#resident evil#re#separate ways#separate ways dlc#ada wong#albert wesker#luis serra#luis sera navarro#leon kennedy#re analysis#re4 remake#i wont tag this with ship names cause im nice but i was so tempted to be mean like ada <3
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THIS IS SO IMPORTANT GUYS!
First and foremost, I have two confessions. One, I haven't read Red Hood: Outlaws WebToon. It's on my list, but I will admit that I'm missing context. Two, though I talk about disability, my main focus is physical walking disabilities. This commentary should apply to every physically disabled human being if I'm doing this correctly, but I chose to have a specific focus for the sake of brevity.
I'd have very few nickles if I could have one for every time I saw a wheelchair-dependent character get suddenly healed. But it's still too many nickels. I can't blame Marvel or DC for my poor relationship with my own mobility aids. It didn't help anything to see Barbara Gordon or Charles Xavier suddenly be able to walk after seeing them for so long in their wheelchairs. Recovery and recuperation should never be scoffed at. We should celebrate when we can accomplish difficult goals and be happy for others who achieve what they thought was impossible. But these characters' changes aren't about recuperation. They're about ignorance.
Recuperation doesn't always mean full recovery from the viewpoint of a disabled person. Sometimes, "walking quickly" or "standing independently" isn't the end goal. It's usually more complicated than that. Small things like strengthening the core or practicing distance walking in a walker are crucial for someone's health or mobility. If it means they can walk independently in the process, then cheers! But sometimes standing isn't a possibility anymore. Many able-bodied people, without this context, may perceive this attitude as "giving up." I've had to explain to several different people that my choosing my wheelchair over my crutches to be a more functional human is not the same thing as quitting. But society has a model for success, and that model has a healthy set of legs.
Growing up, it broke my heart when I saw a character who had to experience a permanent and life-altering disability being suddenly cured. That's not a story of recuperation. That's a writer trying to "fix" something that was "wrong". I don't think the writers mean that as an insult. It's a terrible trope that's rooted in ignorance. But that ignorance is commonplace. It makes self-acceptance all the more difficult for a person who doesn't have full use of their body. Instead of being a person in a room who happens to use a wheelchair, that person suddenly becomes a paria because they are "physically incorrect."
Barbara Gordon, still paralyzed, marrying Dick Grayson is important. In their most standard form, weddings are supposed to be beautiful and romantic. Most of us dream about being the most beautiful, best versions of ourselves that we've ever been for one of the most special days of our lives. Barbara was the best version of herself when her father wheeled her down the aisle. She was Batgirl and is now Oracle, but she never stopped being Barbara. She is loved by her father, her adopted family, and her husband. The saccharine nature of that scene had nothing to do with a disabled woman being loved by an able-bodied man. It was a sappy, beautiful wedding being celebrated by our favorite dysfunctional found family.
I'm honestly really excited to read this webtoon. It is about Jason Todd, but the care and respect Patrick R. Young shows in this scene and how well it was depicted by Nico Bascuñán says a lot about how they handle the rest of whatever story they tell in this comic.
#red hood outlaws#dc comics#superhero#batgirl#barbra gordon#dick grayson#nightwing#writing disability#disabled representation#disabled pride#disability#batfam#red hood#future hero theory#dickbabs
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I think MGSV really robbed us of a Kazuhira and Quiet properly written relationship and really took away a proper characterization of the two, especially Kazuhira as he has already had a good characterization that they took away. In Quiet 's scenario they literally just need to write better female characters, it's so awful.
While friendship definitely didn't have to be how their relationship went, I think some sort of mutual bitter respect between them would have fit, but instead we get a very disturbing take on them with Kazuhira calling Quiet like awful things, talking about killing her, and blaming her for getting attacked.
Quiet is seemingly respectful of Kazuhira and doesn't seem to hold a grudge against him, and Kazuhira is shown to accept people's wrongdoings and still show a respectful professionalism around them in the past. Kaz kinda hates Ocelot and Big Boss (venom snake but kaz thinks it's big boss) in MGSV but still respects them and treats them like a proper coworker.
We can also see this with Paz a little bit, pre MGSV.
Big Boss quite literally kidnaps him and talks about doing horrific things to him if he doesn't join, months later he's in love with him as a legend and then in MGSV a character that minorly inconvenienced him is suddenly his mortal enemy, it just doesn't make sense to me.
Not to mention Ocelot and BB were both part of Zero, worked with and for him, but we never truly see Kaz get angry with them for this.
Kazuhira understands throughout the games the manipulative pull Zero has on people, but when it comes to morally wrong female characters they aren't written.. good. In turn, they write the male characters that attack them bad as well. Taking Kazuhira and making him someone who's just angry all the time and so easy to hate for newer players was awful to me. I loved him in Peace Walker, traitor and all. However, I see new players blindly playing MGSV as their first game and DESPISING Kazuhira because they haven't seen him in his proper characterization, haven't seen him outside his dehumanization of Paz and Quiet and his overall anger.
AS WELL AS HOW HE TREATED PAZ, it was so weird to me. Obviously he's angry but even before they found out Motherbase was destroyed Kazuhira rants and rages and calls her a bitch and other like shitty things and it was so weird to me. Because in Peace Walker, he literally admits he's in the wrong for even letting Paz on the base in the first place, post her betraying them horrendously, Kaz still speaks with some fallen foe respect towards her
But then when it comes to Quiet, Kaz participates in the dehumanization and ridicule of her while also ostracizing her from everyone else. Strangely enough the only characters we see really hate Quiet are background Diamond Dogs soldiers, they don't build any reason to hate her for the player which just makes Kaz look crazy. From a non meta point, to not have Kaz have at least some decency towards Quiet when nobody else really has a problem with her except the soldiers was weird.
It felt like his deep rooted hatred with Cipher was just squeezed into a character, because the lack of proper expanding on Quiet really felt even more uncomfortable when all we got was ass shots and dehumanization especially.
I think MGSV could've been a good game if it didn't try and take itself so serious. The seriousness of battle overshadows the time spent with Quiet and with Kazuhira and literally every other character that could've been properly expanded on.
I love MGSV, I love Metal Gear in general. However, it fails it's characterization so much, more especially in modern games like Revengance and Phantom Pain. They are good games, but when all the women are written as rage bait without any proper reason to hate them at all, it sucks. When characters in general regardless of gender are destroyed of their former written self, it sucks. I could go into this with so many other characters but I couldn't stop thinking of Kaz and Quiet and how they come directly from the lack of proper female writing as well as the lazy writing that really spoils MGSV for a lot of people.
#kazuhira miller#mgs#metal gear solid#quiet mgsv#hopefully this makes sense and i didnt get anything wrong lol
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@puppys-teeth You said you wanted Au's and silly thoughts in this post. I'm finally getting around to responding like I wanted to. I made it it's own post cause it got long and this is basically just gonna be a list of my WIP's with some general information and thoughts with some links to some snippets I've shared previously.
Longfics:
Knowing Spirit Albarn is a Drag
Current WC about 14k
This is the current longfic I'm trying working on. Spirit ends up doing drag at chupa cabras, Stein comes looking for Spirit and finds out his secret and is thoroughly amused. Stein keeps coming back cause he finds it entertaining and is trying to understand why Spirit's doing it. But Spirit's double life takes a toll on him.
A few snippets I've posted so far:
Here, Here, Here, and Here
Graves/Fountains (a Wip title)
Current WC about 3k (not counting notes that are just dialog spread around my note taking locations)
Stein and Spirit go on a mission and things go wrong, they're both left unable to resonate with anyone, as they're both ignored their problems for so long their souls have gone into what is basically a perpetual state of self defense, so LD puts them both on mandatory leave until they can fix their shit. They end up working at Deathbucks to pay the bills when its been a while with no progress and LD is like 'we can't keep paying you'. They eventually are going to have to go into each others mindscapes and help each other deal with all these things they've buried deep. The wip title is in reference to the imagery in their respective mindscapes.
Pacts Writ in Flesh and Blood
Current WC about 27k
A resbang I was unable to finish, as it got a bit too depressing at the time. I will come back to it eventually, but it might yet be awhile. It's present stein/marie and past stein/spirit. It's a supernatural horror au, that started from the idea of Faustian deals, if you know 'the magnus archives' there's also some inspiration taken from there for this one. The promo from resbang will give you a better idea what it's about and has some excerpts:
promo
P.I. AU
Currently just notes
More like a very long fic. Its ensemble cast and its scope scares me, it'll probably be a while before I tackle this one, simply cause juggling an ensemble cast this large, and having to make sure the murder mystery makes sense is going to be a lot balls in the air. When it was first conceived it was intended to be Stein/Marie but I'm likely to pivot it slightly to make it still that to and extent but likely end game Stein/Spirit. Idk it's not currently very fleshed out besides some general beats I want to hit with things. Stein is Frank Stone (I think it's hilarious and this choice of mine will never stop amusing me) private investigator who's investigating his buddy Sid's death. also did I mention its the 1920's? cause its the 1920's.
Oneshots:
none of these titles are finalized and are more just ways for me to tell them apart from each other
Carnival
Currently just notes
Based off that one ending image of Stein making Spirit puke on the teacups, Spirit is there to chaperone the kids, and asks Stein to come a long. Marie upon learning this implies its a date, which worms its way into Stein's head, leading to something of a disappointing experience when they go.
GD
Current WC 2.5k
(I don't want to say the title of this one as it gives away something small that I haven't decided if I want the reader to go into the fic knowing about yet)
Current oneshot I'm working on, after a mission Spirit convinces Stein to visit his parents when he learns they're in the area. It is a bit awkward for all involved but Spirit is learning things about Stein he never knew.
A snippet of this one can be found here and here.
Two fucked up little guys
Current WC 1.6K
This one admittedly is almost done, but I haven't felt up for finishing it. Set after Stein and Spirit stopped being partners and after Maka is born, but before the anime. Neither have good coping mechanisms for their stress and end up instinctually reaching out for each others wavelengths, and connect while half way across the city. It's angsty, there's some hurt/comfort but it's not got a happy end coming for it. Though this one is also one that after I post it and people are interested I might end up coming back to and expanding the story on later (and giving it a happier ending most likely)
Misc:
These are things that are minimally fleshed out and tend to be more prompts then actual Wips atm
Gay Pirates:
Spirit used to be steins first mate, now they both have their own crews, and spirit keeps boasting about his getting them into trouble. Maka mutinies her dad stranding him on an island but still kinda feels bad about it so sends Stein a letter addressed as if from Spirit for a duel to the death, and Stein ends up getting stranded on the island with him cause his crew get drove off while he's off board by the navy.
Road Trip:
Been sitting on this one for awhile, but @bcbdrums reminded me it was in my wips by mentioning her own road trip ideas on some posts. I was gonna work on this on the side of my long fic but it grew past oneshot territory and is likely gonna be a medium length fic so it went back on the backburner. It's normal world au and is a last road trip before Stein leaves for med school. But there's gonna be a time skip after the trip to after med school
Verbatim from my notes:
"You've got mail Au but with more dicks and its grindr, cause its 2022 my dude" (can you tell how long these idiots have been plaguing me? The ideas and wips are constantly stacking up)
Theater kids au:
Stein is a teacher, Spirit is parent who wont fucking go home
Some Stein/Spirit/Marie poly thing
Doesn't have much to it currently besides my thoughts about similarities between Marie and Spirit
Incubus Au
Likely to be a longish fic, Spirit is a incubus that's hanging around Stein for reasons (one of those not sure if i want readers to know going into it things) and Stein is a kind of John Constantine type
#soul eater#my writing#wips#franken stein#stein#dr stein#spirit albarn#professor stein#steinspirit#crossstitch#marie mjolnir#stein/marie#stein/spirit#god I have a lot of wips someone send help
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internalized transandrophobia warning
i wasn't able to unpack or even begin to understand why i couldn't seem to respect or understand other trans men/mascs until i started reading and learning about transdrophobia/transmisandry.
we have it better, i'd say, because that was what i was supposed to say, it was "correct". and i'd wonder why i didn't take other trans men or myself seriously. trans women were always easier to relate to, i rarely if ever had issues with misgendering my transfem friends wrong, i'd be able to hear the pain they went through and empathize and understand. i had way more issues with other trans men. maybe i didn't say it out loud, but when i or other transmascs faced bigotry or hardship, i'd think "it's not as bad as what a trans woman would face". i internalized that so badly i didn't think that trans men as a group had problems. among many other things, the medical barriers and sexual harrassment "weren't bad" because i and others like me were (trans) men. what was my problem, i wondered, why did i keep accidentally misgendering other trans guys? why couldn't i reach the same level of respect and understanding i had for trans women? why did i not take my or their issues seriously?
then i found out about transandrophobia. i saw a post mocking gender koolaid's bio and wondered what transandrophobia was. i wondered why all the reblogs and replies to that post were so hostile about trans men. i looked up "transandrophobia". the first post i saw was from a transmasc of color talking about how they'd never had a word for their oppression before, how they'd never felt a they had community like this before. i thought "that makes sense, why were people being so combative about transandrophobia?"
so i read more. i went to gender koolaid's blog and read their what is transandrophobia page and thought, "i've been through this. i can see how i was wrong about that. that sounds right. i haven't thought about it this way before, etc." and i wondered again, why were people being so awful about the word?
so i dug further. and the further i got, the more i saw of myself in the people raging against the term. the more i saw the stereotypes, the hatred, the things i'd been made to believe about myself and other trans men that had held me back from truly respecting myself or those like me, the more i realized that we truly HATE ourselves. i worked out of a knot of self hatred through accepting the word transandrophobia for what it is to me and others: unapologetically accepting that our identities and issues are not lesser, that we face unique issues, that we do not have it "better" by virtue of our suffering being silent.
i'm still working on my problems but i have way less issues with mine and others' transmasc identities. unlike the way folks act online, respecting myself and other trans men did not come at the cost of respecting trans women. if you want to fully unpack your transphobia, you have to work on all of its facets. including transandrophobia/transmisandry/whatever you want to call it.
#speakin' candidly#transandrophobia#also sidenote to my fellow white transmascs: stop assuming everyone has it the same as you#i go to block some awful post about transandrophobia and the person is just like i was. a white transmasc who wasn't willing to listen to#other transmascs about their lives. those of us who would rather sit in the bubble and go lalalala til the day we die
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