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chaoskirin · 2 years

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Encanto is an Allegory for Neurodiversity.

I didn’t like Encanto at first because it seemed to be a story about child abuse.

Then I realized it was an allegory for neurodivergency.

While I wish movies would just write neurodivergent characters, sometimes having representation through metaphor is better for the people who want to see themselves represented. I don’t necessarily love seeing characters with BPD because it’s often done very wrong, and the parts they do get right are played up for shock value.

So to see a movie representing neurodivergency well, even if it was through allegory, was pretty cool.

Basically, the most important thing to understand is that Bruno and Mirabel are neurodivergent. I suspect that Bruno is supposed to represent a person with a personality disorder (such as OCD or BPD) and Mirabel represents someone with autism or ADHD.

The “miracle” of the Madrigal family is that they are able to serve the community. In other words, they are useful, and they are expected to use their gifts to benefit others. They represent a neurotypical status.

So let's talk first about Bruno and how he fits in with the family.

With personality disorders, problems often don't arise until later in life. In fact, there's actually a minimum age when things like borderline personality disorder can even be diagnosed, which can delay proper treatment. In Bruno's case, he was given his gift, representing that he was a "normal" person who could use his gift to help people (That is, he could fit in.) But because his gift was "strange" as far as gifts were concerned, his ability to see the future started to cause problems.

This is usually how people tend to see personality disorders. I'll go ahead and use Dan Avidan as an example here. He told the story on Game Grumps of how a friend of his got frustrated with him and asked him why he always "obsessed over everything." While Dan didn't go into more detail about this, it's safe to assume that his disorder caused people to dislike or avoid him.

Speaking from my own experience, people who do not have personality orders do not understand them. As someone with BPD, I have been labeled as abusive and manipulative. (Remember how Bruno was accused of "making things happen? Yeah, those with personality disorders are accused of manipulating people--making things happen--to get their way.)

While Bruno is desperate to be part of the family, he finds that he cannot stay near them because of the pain he unintentionally causes them.

Before we learn that Bruno is literally hiding in the walls, all we know about him is that he did something terrible, and people "don't talk about him." This is likely a reference to people who "get out of bad relationships" with those who have personality disorders, and in order to make themselves feel better, they label the person with the disorder as "bad" and no longer view them in a positive light.

It's even more painful when you realize that Bruno couldn't help what he did. He was pushed into it by someone who didn't understand him.

As for Mirabel, she never received a gift at all.

People with disorders like autism and ADHD are born with those neurodivergencies. And so as far as the allegory in the movie goes, she was never able to "fit in" as society dictated she should be able to. Unlike Bruno, she never received a gift.

Of course, the metaphor is that everyone must be useful, and in the first 20 minutes of the movie, it's made clear that Mirabel's type of help is not welcome and she needs to step aside and let the members of the family with abilities help. She even tries to make decorations, which are rejected as unworthy. Her contributions are unwelcome no matter how hard she tries, and she is told this by her grandmother and her parents.

Which brings us to the family and how they react to neurodivergencies. There are so many characters in the movie because each of them represent another way parents or caretakers look at their children who have disabilities.

First, Abuela. She is already upset with her son, Bruno, and is further upset by Mirabel's lack of a gift. Rather than accept this as normal, she becomes worried that the candle will continue to fail. This mirrors the way parents might have a neurodivergent child and fear that future children they have might also "suffer" the same fate.

Mirabel's parents are loving, but one line in the movie really got to me, and that's when Mirabel's mother, Julieta, tells her daughter, "I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You are perfect, just like this." It fails to acknowledge that Mirabel is different, while also pointing out that she is different. You can't just pretend a neurodivergency doesn't exist, because they definitely do exist. And telling someone they are perfect without acknowledging the need for adequate care is harmful to the person with the disorder. At least Julieta occasionally reminds Abuela that Mirabel is different, but this is out of Mirabel's earshot and it's treated like an embarrassing secret.

Luisa is a caring sister, but believes she has to do everything. She represents a parent who believes she has the world on her shoulders because she has a neurodivergent child, and believes she has to always be strong. When she lets her doubts show, they are genuine and compassionate, but these occasions are rare. She also finds it necessary to appear strong to the people around her so they don't see her as a failure.

Pepa and Felix are mainly the antagonists toward Bruno, although they still do represent the parent who "doesn't talk about" the neurodivergency, pretends it doesn't exist, panics when it's brought up, and lives in denial.

Other people fit in in slightly more minor roles. Dolores is the parent who reads and knows just about everything there is to know. Though caring, their intents are slightly misplaced and the child is harmed emotionally as a result. Camilo is also more related to Bruno's story, and is the one to spin a fear-mongering tale about neurodivergencies. Lastly, Antonio is the one who accepts Mirabel for who she is. Although his voice is small, she can hear him, and she appreciates it.

Isabela is both the worst and the best, so I've saved her for last.

I've seen people angry over the fact that Isabela is so mean to her sister, but it's important to remember that she represents the reaction of a caretaker, and sometimes parents are extremely angry that they have to deal with a neurodivergent child. There are parents who resent their children who have autism, and sometimes caretakers become enraged at the needs of a child with ADHD. There's not a lot to explain here. Isabel represents the worst reaction.

And while Isabela gets a redeeming song, I believe this is her breakthrough when she realizes she is also neurodivergent. It's quite clear that she represents obsessive compulsive disorder and has just been told that her compulsive actions (her perfectly colored flowers) do not have any bearing on her family's happiness. This might be equated to someone with OCD learning that skipping their routines will not cause bad things to happen to their loved ones. Isabela grew a cactus, and it was okay, and she found her truth.

Mirabel spends the whole movie trying to fit in with her family rather than being herself. The entire premise is that she must find out what's wrong in order to make her mark somehow, which speaks of the desperation of neurodivergent people to find a way to be "normal" in any way that they can. In Mirabel's case, she does not have a power so she cannot understand the powers, nor is she like her family members that have them. But she believes that if she figures out what is causing the distress, she will find an important place among the others and be respected.

The film could have ended with Mirabel leaving the village and walking away. The screen fades to black, and you would get a perfect metaphor for what some people with neurodivergencies eventually feel. This moment is powerful, and represents hopelessness and even possibly suicide. It's an unfortunate fact that many people with personality disorders especially seek to end their lives because they can't fit in, or they feel like they've lost everything.

Thankfully the movie does go on to provide a happy, if unrealistic ending. The candle goes out, and Mirabel's family is allowed to feel how she feels. In that moment, they are just like her, and they understand what she's gone through. They are her, and she is them.

Of course, this does not happen to people with actual neurodivergencies. They are forced to go through life without their family experiencing what they experience. But the idea that the movie leveled the playing field is a nice one.

On this level playing field, they are able to rebuild their family better than it was before. The candle is re-lit, and it's implied that Mirabel is the new guardian of the candle--that is essentially her power, and it always has been. While Abuela was gifted with a miracle in her time of distress, Mirabel's re-lighting of the candle indicates a new trauma that must be dealt with going forward. She understands, and will always be there for those who cannot.

I saw a post that expressed disappointment that Mirabel's lack of a power was never explained, but to explain it would ruin the allegory. There is no reason that neurodivergencies occur. They just happen, and sometimes it's important to realize that people who aren't like you are just as amazing and as important as everyone else.

I am sure Encanto 2 will explore this, but it was important to the first film that it was left unexplained.

A quick footnote: I have seen Encanto also described as an allegory for LGBT issues, and as someone who falls under that umbrella, I have to respectfully disagree. However, if you can find comfort by defining it in that way, there's no problem with that, and my explanation in no way diminishes your own experience. Please don't DM me telling me I'm wrong, because that's something we're not likely to ever agree on.

#encanto #neurodivergency #not bestiary

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babybirdarmy9 · 3 years

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To fakeclaim or not to fakeclaim: Why I think this goes deeper than a simple “yes” or “no”

TW/CW: fakeclaiming (duh), briefly describing a fear of causing accidents

If you have a short attention span, you may skip ahead because the first few paragraphs will be me explaining a bit about myself and why I decided to write this. I should strongly emphasise that this is my personal opinion as a neurodivergent. No I do not have a PHD, no I do not think that my words should be treated like a textbook. Just some thoughts of my own. Heads up: I have neither DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), Autism, nor TS (Tourettes Syndrome) a.k.a conditions that fakeclaimers believe “fakers” enjoy pretending to have. I am clinically diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and NVLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disability). When I use the term “faking” I am referring to the act of pretending to have a disorder in general and not faking any specific neurological condition. I originally intended to let this stay inside my head as a thought but it’s been a few days and it isn’t going anywhere. I feel like I have to say it out loud and I don’t care if no one sees it or sees it and thinks I’m stupid for having these opinions. I’ll confess that a while ago I subscribed to r/fakedisordercringe because I had heard that there was purportedly a rise in people faking disorders and as a neurodivergent I was fascinated and disgusted that people would perceive mental disorders as “fun” and “quirky” and turn it into an aesthetic which pop culture is indeed guilty of, my impression being that the subreddit would be aimed at calling out neurotypicals clearly proven to be faking. It seemed a nice enough place that could serve as a platform for neurodivergents to correct misinformation spread by known fakers and spread awareness and also had strict ground rules against doxxing, misgendering and direct harassment. There was an automod that would encourage users to NOT submit any genuine cases and to provide evidence of the person in the video faking their condition. I thought that the subreddit was well maintained and run for the first week or so I was there. Until I found a post containing a tiktok clip in which the person stated something along the lines of “walking in circles around the pole in my room is my favourite stim”. It was submitted by a user of the subreddit who described themselves as “diagnosed with autism”, and their argument was that “walking around in circles is not a stim” and that the person was “undiagnosed”. As someone with ADHD that has similar habits, I was confused as it felt very genuine to me. I replied that as someone with ADHD I exhibited similar behaviour and that the tiktok individual could be having ADHD, even in my comment I linked a WebMD of the medication I am currently taking. I reported it to the moderators of the subreddit under “bad evidence” and to their credit it was removed very quickly in under 5 minutes of me reporting it and slapped with the “bad evidence” flair (it could have been that others did the same) but in the time it was still up I was downvoted for my comment. This left me stunned and disheartened because I was under the impression that the users there were familiar with how mental disorders typically worked and that the majority of those subscribed are neurodivergent like me. That was the moment I began losing faith in it. The moment I was no longer certain they were 100% knowledgeable about the things they talk about. As soon as I was downvoted, I instantly went to check if “pacing around is a stim” because I started doubting whether what I am doing is what ADHD people are supposed to do. It made me question myself. And yet, I can’t argue that the subreddit has no purpose and that all they do is falsely accuse genuine sufferers. Because they have defended an individual from accusations of faking by other subreddit users. Because they have actually called out proven fakers like ticsandroses who earned money from faking tics and stopped spreading awareness about TS after they were exposed (correct me if this bit is wrong). Which is why I am still temporarily subscribed, and remaining cautious. Still, there’s now that lingering sense of wariness when a new post comes up: Is the person in the video actually a faker, or are they neurodivergents whose manifestation of the condition can be interpreted as “fake”? But I did have a realisation: Fakeclaimers and “fakers” (at least those who are really faking) are two sides of the same coin. They have the same problem. Both of them fail to view disorders as a spectrum, thinking that the behaviour of one member of the community is indicative of what the average sufferer should behave like. For “fakers” (again, those who are actually pretending), they take an extreme end of the spectrum as the “model” example, which is why some of the proven ones often can be observed to imitating the behaviour of well-known users that are known to actually have the condition when trying to create the illusion that they actually have it when they may not. (TheTrippyHippie is one of these genuine sufferers that documents what it’s like for her to live with her condition, Tourettes) They often set a low bar for the diagnostic criteria. “Blinking on the beat is ADHD!” “Shaking on the “my anxiety” song is an indication of anxiety!” “You like organising your snacks? OCD!” And when I, with ADHD am unable to do these and am under the impression that people like me are SUPPOSED to, I can’t stop the thought that “maybe I’m the faker” from popping up in my brain. Why am I not shaking my hands to stim? I can’t focus on one song in this blend of audios but I’m apparently supposed to instinctively be able to do if I have the condition? Fakeclaimers are the opposite. They often fakeclaim by downplaying the condition. “You’re faking because I know people in my life with *insert disorder* and I barely noticed that they had it while you’re trying to make it obvious”, “you don’t have it, you’re just neurotypical and acting out a tv show stereotype” or the one that hurts me the most “real sufferers wouldn’t be happy about their condition because it is the worst thing ever and all of them don’t want to have it and would pass their disability onto you FAKERS since you want to be neurodivergent so bad”, which I am often conflicted over because ADHD has its good and bad. On one hand the bad is really bad: The drowsiness I slip into when I’m unmedicated fucking sucks because it instilled in me a fear of driving because I always imagine myself falling asleep at the wheel and killing someone on accident, when I’m jittery and can’t sit still and my deadlines are running at me. But some aspects of ADHD can be really helpful like when I enter hyperfocus and actually get more stuff done than before, when new ideas rush into my brain out of a sudden and I’m overwhelmed yet happy. So to say that neurodivergents must resent their condition wholeheartedly makes me uncomfortable. I have a love-hate relationship with it but can’t deny that it has some hand in shaping my personal identity. To them, it’s fake because they think everyone should be on the mild end of the spectrum. Both of them don’t seem to understand that we all act differently. It’s a spectrum for a fucking reason! People who react more severely might not be fakers but be on the far end of the spectrum. People who barely react might be medicated at the time or having a mild version of the disorder. God, we’re not robots. Why can’t people just understand that? I wanted to argue for a particular side, but I can’t bring myself to do that. Not when either option brings about negative consequences and ultimately hurts people. I wish there was a definite answer. I wish there was a foolproof way to identify fakers and not drag actual sufferers by accident in the process. I wish there was a way to “just know” someone is faking. But there isn’t. But I hope that this rant on a hot afternoon in my country does add something useful to the discussion.

#tw fakeclaiming #fakeclaim #actually adhd #my rants #serious talk #personal opinion #sorry for the rant #neurodivergent #discourse

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system-of-a-feather · 4 years

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“I would know if you had DID” “People with real DID should be in a mental hospital” “People with DID would obviously be so crippled that they couldnt do XYZ”

I just wanted to say like, I’m professionally diagnosed with DID. I actually have a pretty “cliche” diagnosis of going into it with really bad anxiety, OCD, and depression that later turned into C-PTSD - but dissociation has apparently always been huge and what was actually alters and similar, I was distressed because “I can’t trust or rely on anything I say to be true because I keep doing opposite of what I believe in and keep doing things I don’t want to or like and I don’t know what's real anymore” and severe dissociation

I’ve struggled with the idea of faking and really coming to terms that I really do have DID, but I am really not faking this and I am in active treatment for it. I’m saying this out the gate because if anyone comes across it that might think otherwise might want to argue my validity as being diagnosed or whatever and if you wanna do that, go right ahead but like

I’m open about my diagnosis for the most part. I’m VERY open to starting up mental health conversations with people I am around because I know too many are silent and I’ve noticed people tend to jump at the opportunity to talk to someone who isn’t scared of the topic and I just love to have it be an open free discussion point. Just as much as I am willing to tell someone I struggle with anxiety or depression, I mention my PTSD, OCD, and DID diagnosis as well.

As a result, I have told a lot of my co-workers and classmates “Hey yeah I have DID” after knowing them for a bit. Its not a big deal for me - the other alters in the system might not announce themselves, but I let it be generally known a lot of the time.

I have probably told like, 20 or so people who regularly see me for one reason or the next after they’ve been put in the friendly acquaintance, and I don’t think a single one has been like “Oh I totally expected that” - most either go “Oh hey that’s interesting”, don’t really bother about it, or go “wait you have it??? I would have never guessed!!!” because it *really* isn’t something that is obvious

And yes it makes my life a lot more difficult and there are a lot of things I have to do in my personal life to navigate it better, but to someone that doesn’t see me living at home and sees me for short snap shots, the likliness that it’ll be obvious enough that it won’t be written off as a “rough day” or a “mood swing” or “just being tired / particularly energized” - its very very very rare.

It’s a typically covert disorder for a reason.

Of course we are a covert system and some systems are overt and some alters would likely be a lot more obvious than others so it isn’t to say that if people do notice before you tell them that you are faking, but just like, a lot of people assume DID is this HORRIBLE DRAMATIC disorder that has all these theatrics and stuff cause of media but really its like... not really

Like most of the time there is some sense of curiosity, awe or questions about it and thats all cool, I don’t mind bringing the concept to the front doors of people - particularly those that plan to go into the field - but one of the things I always say to people that haven’t encountered DID in their life before is “It really isn’t half as dramatic as you think it is”

Just like anyone else, people with DID can still have jobs, successful careers, handle school, drive, make friends, have relationships, anything that any “normal” people could have in their life people with DID can have to. Might you have to go through more loops and make more plans and work around things? Yeah sure. We study / learn different. We have to manage our driving different. Our relationships are inherently different and a lot of life decisions are make as a collective, but people with DID are still people. It’s possible to live a “normal” life that most people would agree is normal, it just might take more loops to work through than others.

But I dunno, that is just kind of a ramble I had after thinking about how I was talking about it with a co-worker a few days ago.

It really isn’t half as dramatic as people who aren’t dealing with it regularly would assume it to be.

#okay to reblog #alter: riku #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #c-ptsd #ptsd #mental health #stigma #mental health stigma #did stigma

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twisted-trunk · 3 years

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What we need from you

[This is subject to change/be edited.]

Your vague understanding; your I-can’t-empathize-with-your-condition-but-I-respect-your-needs/accommodations; your this-is-different-than-how-I-was-raised/told growing up-but-I-accept-and-love-you-as-you-are; your that-need/accomodation-doesn’t-align-with-my-unprofessional-knowledge-but-I’ll-respect-it

Have some pain-wise decorum. If someone is in a lot of pain and wants that fact acknowledged, fine, go ahead, that’s ok. But what’s not okay is for that person to continuously complain about their pain when they are knowingly around others who are also in a lot of pain, and continue to whine. Especially, if they’re asking those others to do a number of things for them.

We get it, Shannon, arthritis sucks and it’s a horrible thing to have to deal with, but please, please, just shut up already.

Don’t get irritated with us. Not doing something we said “we’re working on” does not translate to us being lazy. We’re trying. We really are. We just can’t. And I promise you that it irritates us a hell of a lot more than you. And we’re beating ourselves up over it.

“Everyone’s a little ___.” NO. People get nervous and fidget and have pain. That’s normal. That’s not disordered or a chronic illness. Again, stubbed toe to shattered leg. Ex: “everyone’s a little OCD.”

If you say something that to you is unimportant or no big deal but someone comes and says that it bothered or triggered them in some way, don’t try to defend it by saying that ‘’well, it doesn’t mean anything.” We get it. We understand that you didn’t mean it that way. However, that does not mean you can disrespect us by continuing to say the thing or saying how we shouldn’t feel whatever way to it. Just, stop it. Don’t disregard our reaction to it.

Don’t tell us what we can and can’t do, or should and shouldn’t do based upon your lack of understanding of a condition. Ex: “oh, don’t park there, you can walk!” Or, “if you were really autistic, you’d fidget more.”

Do not debate someone’s diagnoses with them. If you’re trynna flex whatever knowledge you have, do it somewhere else where it doesn’t involve belittling someone’s very real health condition.

If you do have experience in whatever field the condition pertains to and think something may be amiss, speak to them; tell them you’re concerned and it doesn’t match what you know and encourage them to get a second opinion kindly.

“You don’t look it.” —> No.

“Oh, you have this problem? [insert issue] Well, welcome to the real world.”

Shut.... UP KEN! How bloody self righteous and elevated does a person have to be to completely dismiss another’s experience and insert their own which they know the other person both hasn’t experienced or is able to have gone through just to feel better about themselves? If anything, that person is the immature one in this situation. Grow up. Respect other people’s experiences. There’s no special brownie points for you having gone through a foreclosure, and the other person having crippling anxiety to the point that they broke down even hearing about a lease.

Don’t shame people for doing things. Ex: “oh, look who finally came out of her den,” or “look who finally decided to join us for dinner,” or “look whose awake.” Don’t shame them for doing positive things; it shuts them down for doing either.

“Just don’t be ___.” —> No.

“Just relax.” —> No.

Do not raise “what if’s” with people who are anxious to begin with.

You’re not owed an explanation. For example, you’re out with someone and they do something strange; something you wouldn’t consider “normal.” Maybe it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe it just confuses you. That’s ok! You can ask them POLITELY about it. Maybe the person is comfortable and willing to explain to you. Maybe they’re not. Both is ok! If they’re willing to explain, be kind and don’t make a face. It’s probably a tick or a stim of some kind that they HAVE NO CONTROL OF. If they’re not, that’s ok! Don’t press them or alienate them for their tick or stim, they probably have no control over it. Later on, you could even educate yourself! And if you meet up with that person again and they do that same thing, they’re probably going to be more self conscious of it than usual, and if you say “hey, I know that’s what you do, I did some research myself and educated myself, and I understand that while I don’t necessarily know your diagnosis —or claim to diagnose you—I know that’s not something you can control and that’s ok.” It would make a world of difference to them.

It is not a compliment when others like us are insulted. Ex “Your stims aren’t as distracting/annoying/obnoxious as Jonathon’s, I’d never go anywhere with them!”

If someone is taking the time to inform you about something especially able-istic behavior or behavior they, for whatever reason, can’t tolerate or that triggers them, don’t see it as a personal attack! That not only puts the focus of the issue on you and paints you as a victim but also undermines the issue and communicates to the person that you’re set in your ways and there’s no use in trying to talk to you about anything whatsoever.

Ex: “it really upsets me when you keep saying that phrase.”

“I never said that! Don’t you know I love you?! Come on now, you’re smart.”

“No one will love you until you love yourself.” —> No!

Explanation =/= excuse. Stop it.

Don’t food shame anyone! Maybe that pasta is the only thing they eat all day. Maybe they’re having severe cravings that won’t go away (which can be contributed to a number of things).

Depression =/= weak or weak minded. It’s a literal illness.

“All women go through that/ that’s just part of being a woman [or afab/female type body].” No. That’s not only belittling and dismissing their issues but also sending them the message that they’re wrong which is not ok—especially if you’re a healthcare worker.

NONE of these conditions mean lesser intelligence.

My friends, if you have anything to add, don’t hesitate to message me as always!

12/20

To those suffering: I see you; I support you; I love you.

~Rosa ❤️

#chronic migraine #chronic pain #chronicillnessawareness #chronicfatigue #chronicillnesswarrior #disability #disabled #ableism #blog #internalized ableism #painblog #community #find community #what you can do #what we need from you #scoliosis

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flowerslightning · 4 years

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The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7

This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist

A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it

Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do

Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.

So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.

I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.

OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.

Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that

Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.

Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.

OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive

| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)

| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left

Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.

I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,

She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"

Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"

She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"

We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated

It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that

If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.

The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.

Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff

And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.

But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.

After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.

He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya

Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours

He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"

Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them

Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).

Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.

However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.

Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"

Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy 7 remake #cloud strife #final fantasy vii #biggs #biggs final fantasy #ffvii biggs #mygif #character analysis

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missmentelle · 4 years

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In class we’re reading about how people with Tourette’s sometimes experience increased speed in movement and reaction time (from a “normal” frame of reference). If it’s not too personal, do you experience this personally? What is it like? Hope you’re doing well in New York City

You’re right - having Tourette’s syndrome is believed to impact the way that the brain processes time. Specifically, it appears to enhance the ability to ‘produce’ timing intervals. Researchers who study this phenomenon had children look at a computer screen where a circle would appear for various amounts of time, and after the circle disappeared, the children had to hold down the space bar for the same amount of time that the dot was on the screen. Children with Tourette’s syndrome were not any better at estimating how long the dot was on screen, but they were consistently better at holding down the space bar for the correct amount of time, compared to children without Tourette’s. Interestingly enough, people with Tourettes are also faster at processing language and grammar than people who don’t have the disorder, at least for certain types of grammar.

Why does having Tourette’s improve your ability to time things and process grammar? We’re not entirely sure, but there is a working theory. I’m vastly over-simplifying this explanation, but Tourette’s is believed to occur due to abnormalities in a brain structure called the basal ganglia, which is in roughly the middle of the brain; we might also have abnormal connections between the basal ganglia and parts of the pre-frontal cortex. We don’t entirely understand how the basal ganglia works, but we do know that it makes dopamine and plays a role in voluntary movement, and that if you don’t have the right amount of dopamine, it affects physical movements.

People with Tourette’s syndrome over-produce dopamine - the basal ganglia floods itself with way too much dopamine, which creates involuntary movements (incidentally, Parkinson’s is also a disorder of the basal ganglia - they begin to produce far too little dopamine, which also takes away their ability to have total control of their movements). The pathways in your brain that give you the ability to measure time and process language are modulated by dopamine, and it’s believed that having all that extra dopamine floating around in our brains might give those pathways a bit of a boost, and let them operate more quickly. Interestingly, the Tourette’s patients who do the best at processing grammar and timing things are people with mild cases, not severe cases - people with mild tics tend to suppress them a lot more, and researchers believe that suppressing tics all the time may teach our brain to have greater control and efficiency in certain neural pathways.

To be honest, though, I couldn’t really describe how any of this feels from a subjective standpoint. I was diagnosed with Tourette’s at ten years old, and I can’t really remember what it was like not to have it - I don’t have a “normal” to compare to. People who experience mental illness can describe what it’s like, because mental illness tends to come on in early adulthood, and it makes a person feel like they aren’t themselves; Tourettes, on the other hand, is not a mental illness, and it’s sort of impossible for me to tell where Tourette’s stops and “me” begins. It’s a neurological condition, and it’s more or less baked into the foundation of who I am - it’s part of my brain’s operating system, and I can’t really explain how I experience time any more than you can. I tick a lot of the boxes for traits associated with Tourette’s (we tend to share a lot of personality traits as a group, including impulsivity, quickness of thought and speech, and a tendency towards humor - I’m a semi-professional comedy writer and stand-up comedian in my spare time), but it’s hard for me to tell whether that’s because of my Tourette’s or if it’s just a fluke - I will never know what I would be like without this disorder.

My case is also complicated because I have co-morbid ADHD and OCD, and an IQ that consistently tests in the ‘gifted’ range (IQ is a deeply flawed metric of cognitive ability, but it still has some explanatory value). It’s not really possible for me to divide up those things and know how any one of them affects me individually. I went through a battery of cognitive and psychological tests when I was younger because I was having issues in school - those tests were what led to my diagnoses, and also my placement in a ‘gifted education’ school. Even my parents were advised that it wasn’t really possible to pin down what was causing any of my issues. Was I a poor student because I had ADHD, because the material wasn’t challenging enough for me, or because I was distracted by trying to suppress my tics in class? All of the above, maybe? Did I struggle with social skills as a kid because I was self-conscious of my tics, because I lacked the attention span to follow a conversation, or because I was six grade levels ahead of my same-age peers? Again, hard to say. I’m definitely aware of my Tourette’s syndrome - it’s hard not to notice that you don’t really have total voluntary control over one side of your body or your voice - but the subtler affects of the disorder just sort of meld with everything else going on in my brain. I am actually very good at estimating how much time has passed and at sensing when a certain period of time has elapsed, but it’s hard to know if that’s due to Tourette’s or just due to the fact that I’m really into cooking and I have a lot of experiencing timing things. At the end of the day, my experience of the world just feels pretty normal to me, the way that your experience probably feels pretty normal to you! Hope this answers your question! Miss Mentelle

#Anonymous

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wiltedeyesandtwistedlies · 5 years

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What is ADHD?

ADHD stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. It’s named after it’s two most common symptoms, and some people really hate that.

Causes:

While no one has been able to find a direct cause, it does run in families. If you have ADHD and have a child, there’s a roughly 70% chance that child also has ADHD. Likewise, you can have no history of it in your family, and still have ADHD, it’s just very unlikely. (It is most likely your family members went undiagnosed and you were just the first to be diagnosed.)

Being exposed as a child to toxins like lead may also be a cause. So might having certain illnesses like meningitis. Poor nutrition or substance abuse during pregnancy is also linked to causing ADHD.

All of these “causes” aren’t direct causes. They increase the chances, yes, but don’t garuntee you’ll have ADHD because of them. You could have all these possible causes, and still not have ADHD.

So what exactly is ADHD?

It is a neurodivergency (biological change in the brain) that disrupts our executive functions.

Executive Functions = a group of advanced thinking skills that basically run the rest of our brain.

Executive functions are what make a person able to:

stay focused

plan ahead

organize

resist temptations

stop something once they start

regulate their emotions

and be mentally flexible.

So people with ADHD have Executive Dysfunctions instead. And can struggle with any or all of the symptoms above. This is what links all types of ADHD.

Executive dysfunction is what causes ADHDers to be unable to do simple tasks. By that I mean physically incapable of completing certain tasks. For example, say you need to fill out a form to bring to your bank. It’s a simple form you already have printed out and have your pen poised over the first blank line. You understand the question being asked, you know what you would answer, but you can’t bring your pen to touch the paper. Your arm won’t move. Your brain is blocking you from completing this task. It won’t let you continue and would rather think about ANYTHING else. So instead you’ve cleaned your whole apartment, donated to Goodwill, signed up for a dog daycare program you just read about, and went on a hike to avoid this simple form that just wants to verify your name and new address. (better example)

Executive dysfunction is also what causes ADHDers to hyperfixate. As said above, executive functions control the brain’s ability to focus. In the previous example I showed how executive dysfunctions can block you from focusing on even simple things. The flip side to that is how ADHD makes you focus way to much on one particular thing, whether you want to or not. When you hyperfocus, that hyperfixation is all you can think about. You can’t give attention to anything else. If it doesn’t involve your hyperfixation, your brain won’t spare it a second thought and will force you to ignore and forget everything else. You don’t even have to like your hyperfixation. It could be an uncomfortable subject or one that makes you very sad or angry, but you can’t stop thinking about it.

Issues like these are what leads to the belief that people with ADHD are extremely lazy and always procrastinate. This is a false presumption and one of many reasons why going undiagnosed is so traumatizing. It is an uncontrollable biological thing your brain does that cannot be stopped and trying to do so can make it much worse. You can do things to strengthen your executive functions, but you can never change the physical makeup of your brain.

Types of ADHD:

There are three types of ADHD. The differences are only in the way ADHD is presented/what symptoms are shown.

Primarily hyperactive-impulsive type

Primarily inattentive type

Primarily combined type

Originally, the hyperactive-impulsive type was the only one to be diagnosed. It was also thought that only young boys could have ADHD, and that they grew out of it as soon as they became an adult. Pretty recently it was found that girls could have ADHD too, not just boys. Even more recently doctors realized most kids with ADHD did not grow out of it, that it just changed how it was presented when they got older.

This is largely because the inattentive type went unnoticed for a long time. More info on a probable reason why can be found here.

Primarily hyperactive-impulsive type:

People with this type are often described “as if driven by a motor” and have very little impulse control. They are always moving, squirming, and talking even in the most inappropriate settings and situations. They are very impatient, impulsive, and often interrupt others. It is not something they can control and are often frustrated with themselves for this behavior.

Primarily inattentive type:

Previously called ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder, this type mostly shows symptoms involving the ability to pay attention. People with this type have an extremely hard time focusing and have very short attention spans. They often “space out” and no matter how much they want to pay attention, have difficulty staying focused.

This type is most common in adults and women. Often, children with hyperactive-impulsive type grow up and start to experience mostly inattentive symptoms, leading to the assumption they have out grown their ADHD entirely.

Primarily combined type:

People with this type have a combination of ADHD symptoms that cannot be put solely in either hyperactive-impulsive or inattentive categories.

Some terms that pop up a lot:

There are a lot of words and phrases that are used when discussing ADHD that not everyone knows. A lot of the time, we assume everyone reading our posts already know what these terms mean and don’t explain. That can be very confusing to people who don’t already know. I’ve already explained many of them, but there are still a few common ones I didn’t define yet. So here are some terms and their meanings that will be useful to know when reading ADHD resources:

Neurotypical = a “typical” brain, one that isn’t neurodivergent. Depending on context, can be used to describe a person, a type of brain, social groups, and societal practices

Neurodivergency = the difference in a brain’s development or current state compared to a typical brain (ADHD, autism, OCD, and many more are all examples)

Neurodivergent = used to describe a person who has a neurodivergency, a person who’s brain has developed into a state that is different from a typical brain

Extra info:

There are many other things (such as RSD and time blindness) that can accompany ADHD. I don’t know if all people with ADHD experience them, but I do know they are very common. This post is already a lot so I’m going to make a separate post about them and link it here.

#adhd #add #adhd life #adhdlife #adhd in adults #adultadhd #adult adhd #adhdadult #adhd adult #cassidy talks once in a while

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consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 4 years

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5 Reasons Celiac Disease Is About More Than My Stomach

New blog post!

When you look up "what is celiac disease" online or receive a celiac diagnosis, it may seem like a simple disease at first. In fact, when I'm explaining my condition to new friends, I often just say, "Celiac disease is an autoimmune condition in which ingesting gluten damages the intestines."

However, in the seven years since my celiac diagnosis, I've realized something: the answer to "What is celiac disease?" can be pretty complicated...because celiac disease is about waaaaay more than just my intestines. Not sure what I mean? In honor of Celiac Awareness Month (and raising celiac awareness all year round!), here are five reasons celiac disease is about much more than my stomach.

1. The symptoms of celiac disease can manifest themselves in over 300 different ways.

It makes sense to think that a disease centered on intestinal damage would trigger symptoms related to digestion. And, in some dases, that assumption isn't wrong: for instance, my main symptoms of undiagnosed celiac disease were acid reflux, nausea and rapid weight loss.

However, stomach problems aren't the whole picture. In fact, symptoms of celiac disease can include:

Anemia

Anxiety

Infertility

Headaches or migraines

Fatigue

Discolored teeth

Thin bones or being prone to broken bones

Skin Rashes

and much, much more!

Source

As a result, some people are diagnosed with celiac disease because they are underweight, bloated and have many stomach problems...but not everyone with celiac disease is thin or experiencing stomach issues.

2. The state of my stomach can drastically impact the state of my mind.

You've probably heard the old saying, "You can win a man's heart through his stomach." However, research has only recently discovered how much emotions are tied to the gut. This is called the brain-gut connection, and scientists have found that poor gut health can actually negatively impact people's moods. For example, people with IBS and gut problems to experience more anxiety and depression than expected on average, and an unhealthy gut has also been linked to conditions like chronic fatigue, ADHD, OCD, and Tourette syndrome. I've experienced first-hand how much my stomach problems and medically restricted diet can impact my mindset. When I'm going to a new restaurant with gluten free options or trying a new gluten free product that I'm still not sure will sit well on my stomach, I feel my heart rate increase and my hands start to get sweaty as anxious thoughts swirl through my mind. I think the isolation that can result from not being able to eat "normally" at college pizza parties or out with friends has also contributed to feelings of loneliness, and on days when I wake up randomly super bloated, I definitely have a harder time wearing a smile.

I don't say all this for pity or to suggest that having celiac disease means that I'm constantly anxious, sad or lonely. As I've shared in many posts, you can absolutely thrive with celiac disease and I have not let my gluten free diet hold me back from dating, going on outdoor adventures and eating at plenty of delicious restaurants. However, I do think it is important to make people aware of how much an "upset tummy" can really impact a person's day!

3. Social isolation is one side effect of celiac disease doctors don't warn you about.

Speaking of social isolation...a recent study found that restrictions can contribute to people feeling more lonely or isolated, and I get that. As the study points out, people commonly bond over food and sharing a meal...and when you can't do that, feeling like you belong can be a little bit more challenging. At least in my experience, this is one side effect of the gluten free diet (and life with celiac disease) that no doctor or nutritionist ever warned me about. After my celiac diagnosis, I was given advice on what foods to avoid and the best gluten free brands to buy, but I had no guidance for how to maintain social ties while turning down most of the food ever offered to me.

Source

Six years into having celiac disease, I have a well-stocked toolkit to help me survive any gluten-filled social event. I am open with friends about my dietary needs and am confident in turning down food with a short, "Thank you so much, but I have celiac disease so I can't eat that." And if someone does ask, "What is celiac disease?" in return, I feel confident enough to explain. In the case of a social invitation where I know gluten-filled food will be involved, I typically:

Eat before the event.

Bring my own food.

Call the restaurant (if applicable) to ask about gluten free options, and eat there if I can safely or follow step 1 or 2.

As it's clear to see, celiac disease is about much more than my stomach - it also requires plenty of thinking ahead and the use of a well-experienced brain. ;)

4. When I'm "glutened," more than just my stomach can suffer.

Just like celiac disease has plenty of different symptoms, people with celiac disease also experience different side effects of being "glutened" (or exposed to gluten) after going gluten free.

Personally, when I'm glutened, I typically don't feel the effects for a few days. Then, all of a sudden, I'll get extremely tired but also become unable to fall asleep, have massive brain fog and lose my appetite or have an upset stomach. It often takes me about a week to feel normal, and even longer to feel "good" (in terms of my stomach no longer being upset and having extra energy).

Beyond more expected side effects like vomiting or diarrhea, though, people with celiac disease can also experience gluten-triggered depression and fatigue, rashes, joint pain, migraines, blurry vision...I suppose you could say that no part of the body is safe.

5. Celiac disease has become a part of who I am - not just what my stomach is like.

But the biggest reason why celiac disease is about more than my stomach is simple: celiac disease is a part of ALL of me. As I've shared before, I don't make my chronic illnesses my entire identity. However, I think it is impossible to ignore how much celiac disease has shaped who I am today. Because of celiac disease, I am... ...a foodie and a big fan of experimenting with and trying new (gluten free) foods. ...an even bigger lover of planning ahead and sticking to a routine. ...not afraid to stand up for myself or others with invisible and/or chronic illnesses.

And those traits are why, in some moments, I am happy that celiac disease affects more than just my stomach. What is one way you've realized celiac disease affects more than just your stomach? Or what is one way your medical condition affects more than what people might think? Tell me in the comments!

via Blogger https://ift.tt/2TAzuzV

#Blogger #college #celiac #gluten free #coeliac #celiacs #paleo #primal #foodporn #foodart

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purplepeoplelickingtruthpeddler · 5 years

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Need Food

So for those of you who don’t know me, I’m a disabled, chronically ill, polyamorous queer person of mixed ethnicity. My household growing up was half alcoholic neglect and half abuse, half veteran and half immigrant, and %100 anxiety. I’ve never had much support, and learning to take care of myself to any extent I’m able has been a steep learning curve.

I was in what I thought was a supporting and loving relationship for several years, six years. But when I came out as polyamorous, and expressed love for a long-time mutual friend, my support vanished. My partner became emotionally abusive. My long healed trauma flared back up to full-blown PTSD because of it, and after short apologies, and an improvement that lasted all of a week, he stopped caring, started resenting my disability, and started emotionally cheating on me with a woman at his work that he’s spoken all of two sentences too. He himself is neurodivergent as well and I gave him more credit than I should have because in the past I hadn’t given him enough and was still paying for it. I spent a few days self-harming, and got very close to suicide, because I learned that someone I thought loved me, someone that I was at one point engaged to, had put an expiration date and conditions on his support. I got help pulling myself most of the way out of that by a few supportive people in my life including my girlfriend; I’m eternally grateful to them.

I’m disabled. I have agoraphobia and panic disorder, that have been professionally diagnosed, and other anxiety disorders that have gone undiagnosed professionally; OCD and trichotillomania. I’m self dx autistic most recently. I’m partially homebound. I have crippling executive dysfunction and time-blindness. I have physical medical endocrinological disorders, also diagnosed and undiagnosed, including PCOS, diabetes, some form of hypothyroid. I went a few years without insurance and was about to see someone through my ex’s, but that’s gone now. Endocrinological disorders run in my family and finding a doctor who can handle all of these things integratively is incredibly difficult, I live in the South. Most doctors aren’t entirely interested in treating me beyond making me capable of having kids I don’t currently want or erasing my secondary sex characteristics. I’ve been seeing a counselor for a couple of years, but she doesn’t specialize in either agoraphobia or anxiety. To continue seeing her I’m going to have to risk driving through multiple panic episodes and dissociation, putting me and everyone else on the road at risk. Public transportation and ride sharing causes even more severe anxiety.

I’ve contacted my long estranged father in desperation of getting any kind of help, he’s agreed to help me apply for disability, a thing my counselor never followed through on. He’s agreed to help me find and pay for medical insurance so I can keep taking my currently four prescription meds and see better doctors more consistently. He’s agreed to help me find and pay for a place to live until I get on my feet, or find any kind of income. I don’t have anywhere to go immediately. Everyone I’ve talked to, about agoraphobia specifically, has told me that it takes years and several appeals and legal help to get assistance. I’m weary, and sad, and struggling to find the self-love I had, and I have a battle ahead. I’m struggling to manage having to continue living with my ex right now, sleeping in the closet and only moving around when he’s either at work or asleep because it’s the only way I feel safe, partially because of trauma. Even though I’ve had many reasons not to be associated with my dad in the past, and it’s been a fair few years since we talked, I am cautiously as optimistic as I can be. I have concerns over what kind of emotional trade-off he will expect but I don’t have much choice right now. I’m layering as many supportive friends as I can gather around me so I can survive. An excitement for the fact that I can be myself and love who I love without feeling guilty and wrong is growing however hard things are right now.

I hate asking for help of people I know aren’t exactly wealthy themselves, and I’m not asking for much because everything I can possibly do on my own right now is getting done. I have a couple of weeks of 3/4 of my meds left. What I really need rather urgently, is food. My dad doesn’t have a car or a currently valid license, he also lives several cities away. My girlfriend doesn’t have a car or a currently valid license, also lives several cities away. Asking even half as much as I need wouldn’t feel right anyways because she’s actively getting on her own feet and we’re a relatively young relationship. She’s raising money herself for transportation to train for her upcoming promotion and I’m super proud of her after what she herself is going through. My dad is a recovering alcoholic with PTSD, a veteran on disability himself, he can only do so much. All of my other trustworthy friends or relatives live in other states. My plan is to use a grocery delivery app, doing the minimum to save and ration and the maximum required for the cheapest delivery fee at a time. And it’s a thing I can use paypal to pay for, which is my only current available payment method. I’m fighting to regain even some of the self-care and functionality I once had, and maybe without the toxicity that was in my life, get even better.

So if you can give literally anything, and I mean anything because even just a dollar will afford me some milk or a few fruits and veggies that I can divide up and freeze for a few small meals at a time. I grew up with food insecurity and malnourishment at the hands of my abusive parent, this isn’t new territory. If you’re starting your own life, focus on you. Share/reblog if you feel comfortable doing so, please. Anything extra will go into feeding my cats, who are a huge support to me right now.

For ease of access here is my paypal link (please ignore the name I haven’t legally changed it yet, not until I get fully out of range of my abusive parent, and come out to the past neglectful one): paypal.me/elirria

Cash app update: gf told me I could use cash app to pay for places that have free delivery and don't accept PayPal (such as Walmart), so that's the preferred option (but I'll still use either as I can, and not everyone has cash app): $elirria

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luckystarchild · 5 years

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Not really a theory but a headcanon:I think NQK has a mild form of Xenophobia (fear of the unknown) or Metathisiophobia (fear of change). I think because she knows what the future is supposed to look like, that when things change unexpectedly, especially when it's bad or drastic, she doesn't know how things are going to turn out so she panics and breaks down. She's so set on making it to the 'correct' ending she fear when she loses control of the plot everything will go to ruin. Just a thought.

I get where you’re coming from, Anon—but I think we need tobe careful about using medical terms like “phobia” in this instance, lest weuse those terms too frivolously.

Armchair diagnosing fictional characters can negatively impact how certain mental health diagnoses are perceived in real life and in real people. Phobias are serious medical conditions. We should be very, very careful when using medical language because of this.

I have mild OCD, for instance, and it impacts my daily life. When people who are just picky about things call themselves OCD, it furthers the public misconception that OCD people are just “picky” or “particular,” which undermines how people treat me when I reveal my condition. People will laugh when I say I have OCD and jokingly ask me if I need to turn the lights on and off a hundred times—an OCD impulse that movies and TV have sensationalized. It’s the casual and incorrect misuse of medical terms that contributes to the perpetuation of this misconception.

Since NQK is based on me and my personality, as she is a self-insert, there’s an added wrinkle that in trying to diagnose NQK, you are in a somewhat indirect way making assumptions about my mental health. The barrier between NQK and me isn’t terribly thick; she has my ticks and quirks and we worry about things at the same level. Obviously we aren’t exactly the same (she’s living a different life than I am and therefore faces challenges I don’t that have shaped her character), but since I know me better than anyone, I think I’m within my rights to put my foot down when it comes to me or my avatar facing an armchair diagnosis from a stranger. I don’t think you were intending to put forth a formal diagnosis, necessarily, but the use of medical language necessitates treating the above ask as such.

I’m going to go into why I think NQK does not have a phobia below the “read more” cut, and I’m going to hide my feelings about it beneath said cut in case someone doesn’t want to read them. I am not a medical professional, but I am basing my thoughts on the criteria in the DSM-V (not to mention my therapist’s observations about my behavior). Sorry for the errors I have inevitably made. I just think it’s very important we are accurate when we talk about medical conditions, so this bears some discussing. Thank you.

“Specific phobias,” which are serious medical conditions and a subset of anxiety disorders, are defined in the DSM-V as “extreme or irrationalfears, often persistent, that compel sufferers to avoid the object or situationto which their fear is connected.” Parts of the diagnostic criteria are “theindividual suffers from a persistent fear that is either unreasonable, irrational orexcessive” and “the symptoms cannot be attributed to another mental condition,such as generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder.”

Keiko’s fears aren’t irrational. Kurama’s motheralmost died because of her presence and Hiei lost his DT match because of herpresence; Keiko’s fears that her presence will change fate are not unfounded,which means her fears about the YYH canon changing aren’t unreasonable. Her fears are based in reality. Shemight react to changes in canon with more stress than you think you would in her shoes, but herfears themselves aren’t irrational. Furthermore, I’ve been diagnosed withGAD (plus PTSD and, most recently, mild OCD) and these conditions much morereadily account for NQK’s panic attacks and other symptoms than does a specificphobia. Since her behavior can be attributed to something besides a phobia, I don’t think it’s a phobia.

Metathisiophobia is “the persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of change.” But, as mentioned above, NQK’s fear that changes to the YYH canon could have negative consequences has been proven warranted, and thus I can’t in good conscience condone labeling her with that medical condition.

Her actions within the story also don’t fit with thediagnosis of a phobia of change or the unknown. She doesn’t avoidchange. NQK gets unexpected haircuts, takes new classes, embraces friendships with characters she shouldn’t be friends with, and often does thingsshe’s not comfortable with. She often runs directly toward changes that happen in her life andseeks out the unknown on purpose (willingly outing herself to Kurama to savehis mother; willingly meeting Genkai ahead of schedule; purposefully seekingout powers to change herself, with results she can’t predict). In light of her desire to induce certain changes that could have unknown consequences, I can’t say she fears change or the unknown in a phobic way. She only fears change when changes negatively impact the lives of her friends and loved ones. She cares much less about change when it impacts her alone. It’s her friends she wants to protect from negative change, and that isn’t a phobic impulse: It is one most people experience when their loved ones are in potential danger.

Another reason I hesitate to condone even a cursory diagnosis of a phobia is because one diagnostic criteria for a phobia is that the person with the phobia “actively avoids the phobic object or situation.” When things go badly, NQK throws herself headlong into fixing things, and when positive changes happen, she’s not all that bothered beyond wondering if the in-the-moment “good” change will have down-the-road negative impact. If she truly had a phobia (a serious medical condition, I will repeat) she wouldn’t be as accepting of the positive changes and she wouldn’t be able to get close enough to the negative changes to fix them.

If NQK was truly phobic, I think she’d 100% follow OG!Keiko’s script and never, ever step out of line for fear of causing a change or venturing into the unknown. If she had a phobia, she’d stick to the known, which in this case is OG!Keiko’s script. Instead, however, she has done the opposite. She remains true to herself (which invites unknown changes to canon) and tries to address and fix negative changes when they happen. Yes, she is extremely stressed and anxious about any negative impact she has on her new loved ones, but since this can be attributed to my anxiety disorder, I think that’s the best diagnosis we can stick with.

I apologize if it sounds like I’m shitting all over your headcanon or splitting hairs, anon, or just badgering you about using “phobia” too casually. That truly isn’t my intention. I think Kei does have FEARs of the unknown and of certain very specific changes (specifically of changes to YYH canon and YYH characters) but I don’t think she meets the criteria of having a medical phobia. Fear and phobia aren’t the same thing. Most people, after all, have a hard time with big changes in their lives, and since phobias are serious medical conditions, I don’t think it’s wise for us to throw around the term “phobia” recklessly. Keiko is based on me, and since that is the case, I think it’s best we stick to the diagnoses we can confirm I have—diagnoses made by my therapist, who has never diagnosed me with a phobia.

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kellylouise-blog · 4 years

Text

I need to talk about Fangirl

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell won the lucrative prize of being my worst read of 2019! Truth be told, it’s been quite a while since I actually read it, and I may not remember every detail, but I still have much to say about it!

I had heard about it online a lot, I knew it was popular and so assumed it was somewhat decent. Even though I’m probably not a “young adult” anymore, demographic-wise, I still really enjoy the genre. Long story short, it was a great disappointment...

{P.S. I shan’t be holding back on the spoilers, I need to exorcise my feelings so be thee warned if you care!)

Now, where to begin? In truth, it wasn’t all awful so I’m not about to bash it completely.

Fangirl follows the story of Cath, a fan-fiction writer who’s obsessed with a series known as “Simon Snow...” She and her twin, Wren, are embarking into the world of college and all it’s challenges, leaving behind their struggling father and ultimately, her boyfriend.

Sounds like a pretty average teen rom-com setup, right? It has all the tropes of a classic coming-of-age story with your cliques and love triangles but it suffers under its apparent theme: the topic of fan-fiction.

Cath is shown to be a writer of immense talent, able to get into the top, rather prolific, writing course in her college. But she has never, ever, written anything outside of her fan-fiction. Now, of course, when you’re told that this is a story about fan-fiction, you can expect excerpts throughout the book of the character’s work. That’s perfectly fair. But those excerpts, of a thinly-veiled Harry-Draco romance, were always excessively long and positioned in places that completely pulled you out of the story. A paragraph or two would’ve been acceptable, but I’m talking PAGES here. They had absolutely no effect on the main story and were completely pointless. You know it’s bad if you make your readers consider skipping ahead (or putting the book away altogether).

Honestly, this made me think that the author herself just wanted to write Harry Potter fanfiction (of which it is obviously based upon) and cared little for the story surrounding it. This is made more probable given the fact that she wrote Cath’s fan-fiction as separate novels thereafter.

This is a great shame as there were moments that showed the main story could’ve been a lot more interesting. As a writer working on a novel based around the theme of mental health, I saw sparks of this throughout Fangirl, too. But only sparks, mind you. At the start of the novel, it’s made clear that Cath’s father has some sort of mental health problem that makes her hesitant to move away from him. I can’t recall if the book directly diagnoses him but it was either bi-polar disorder or OCD. He was the most interesting character; I wanted to know more about him, how he got the way he did and how it’s been affecting his daughters.

There was also a brief mention, somewhere, of Cath having once harmed herself. It went on to showcase how afraid she was of turning into her dad, of “going crazy”. Brilliant! This was excellent stuff. But, back to fan-fiction.

Moving on from that, Cath is also frequently encouraged to write her own stories but again and again, she relents until she is forced to as part of her coursework, lest she be expelled. You could debate for quite a while whether fan-fiction can be considered “real writing” and whether someone can truly call themselves a writer if nothing they’ve written is their own, not to mention the argument of plagiarism. All along, I expected Cath to go on a journey of self-discovery and realise that she can write her own stories, she doesn’t need to depend on someone else’s world. That was a natural story arc to happen.

In the end, Cath does fashion up her own story for her class, and receives great praise, even getting it published by her professor. Fabulous! A developed character. But turns out, she went straight back to Simon Snow afterwards like nothing had ever changed. Ugh.

In the end, I felt that Cath hadn’t developed at all, she was still the same awkward, self-hating teenager from the beginning of the book. I’m sure there are plenty of other things I’m forgetting but these were my greatest grievances with the book.

#fangirl #rainbow rowell #review #bookreview #book review #writing #irishwriter #writeblr #books #reads #young adult #simon snow #writingcommunity #originalblog

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creacherkeeper · 7 years

Text

“am i autistic?” a step by step guide

so there are some resources out there about learning about autism and trying to determine if you’re autistic, but i figured some folks would appreciate a nice neat step by step guide. this is intended to be used by adults, but older children can certainly follow these steps as well and get something out of it

first off, hello! dont be afraid! whether or not you determine you’re autistic at the end of this, it’s always great to learn more about yourself! try not to think of this as a serious thing. what you determine isn’t going to change anything about yourself, just give you a new perspective. whatever changes is up to you

before you start, open a new word document. you can title it 'autism tests’ or something cheesy like ‘my autism journey’. you’ll use this to keep record of things as you follow the steps

**allistics feel free to try it out and signal boost!**

step one: quizzes!!

who doesn’t love a good quiz? we’re starting with quizzes because diagnostic criterion can be scary and confusing. try not to think too long about these questions, go with your first instinct. don’t second guess yourself. if you’re having trouble answering them yourself, take them with a person who knows you well

A. short quiz - 50 short questions. takes 10-20 minutes to complete (warning in the results section for ableist language like ‘suffers from’ and ‘impairments’. just pay attention to the number)

did you get a 30 or up? did you get a number lower than that but feel like you want to keep going? write it down in your word document, and lets go on to the next quiz

B. long quiz - 124 questions. takes 30 minutes to an hour to complete. it says ‘aspie’ but this is a good tool for autism in general

you’ll get two scores, an aspie score, and a neurotypical score. go ahead and write these down. this test is a pretty good indicator, so pay attention to what it says before you decide if you want to continue

step two: the criteria

okay, so you’ve taken the quizzes. you probably have some prior knowledge, but you might be asking yourself, what IS autism, exactly? what does it entail? we’re gonna go ahead and take a look at some of the criteria of what autism is, and what autistic traits are, so we can get a fuller picture

A. asan’s about autism page - here’s a very simple overview of some autistic traits. it has seven points. does this sound like you? copy the headers into your document, and see if you can come up with one example of how each one fits you. if you cant think of one, ask yourself if it fit when you were younger but doesn’t anymore (you might want to ask your parents or childhood caregivers if these fit you as a child).

still want to keep going? lets get a little more detailed

B. revised autism criteria - okay so this one has some more heft to it, it goes into a lot of detail, but dont let that frighten you! just take it one step at a time. like last time, copy the headers into your document. for each point you relate to, copy that into your doc underneath it. can you think of specific examples where these criteria applied to you? if you can think of ways you relate that aren’t listed on this page, go ahead and write those down under the appropriate headers (in parentheses so you know those are what you added)

C. if you’re feeling like these criteria apply to you, go ahead and take a peek at the dsm v criteria for autism. if you’re in the us, this is what your diagnostician will be using if you choose to pursue a diagnosis. pretty much all these points are covered by the revised criteria above, so dont feel like you have to put any of this in your document if you dont want to

D. still not sure? if some of this feels like it applies to you, but it doesnt fit quite right, you might relate more to what’s called ‘atypical autism’. it’s still autism, but it manifests in a different way than what is more stereotypical. this is more common in people assigned female at birth, but can apply to any gender. go ahead and check it out here. if you find these things fit, do like you did before and copy and paste it into your document [edit] link is broken please see bottom of post!

keep in mind that many allistic (non-autistic) traits can be learned, so you have to look at all these things as how they can apply to you in childhood as well. while autistic people can learn things such as allistic body language, and allistic social skills, the key here is that they were learned. it doesn’t come naturally. autistic people may be very good at these things, but it will always feel like something of a performance, and can be very draining cognitively

step three: review

okay, so we’ve done our quizzes, and we’ve reviewed the criteria. you should have a pretty good overview of what autism is at this point, and how you might relate to it. go ahead and take a look at your document. how long is it? how many things did you copy down?

if you copied down a small amount of things: you’re probably not autistic. but you’ve now learned some more about autism, and some more about yourself! congratulations!

if you copied down a medium amount: you might be autistic. before you continue, go ahead and check out some conditions that we call ‘austim cousins’. these are neurodivergencies that have overlapping traits with autism. take a look at adult adhd, ocd, and schizophrenia (the negative symptoms of schizophrenia overlap with many autistic traits). do you feel that one of these might fit you better? if not, go ahead and continue to step four

if you copied down a large amount: you’re probably autistic! go ahead and continue to step four

step four: exploring a diagnosis

so, you think you might be autistic. what to do now? the first thing to do would be to continue researching on your own any points of confusion you had. if you have specific questions, a good place to ask is the ask an autistic blog. they also have a resources page with links to pages that deal with specific autism traits, like echolalia, burnout, and meltdowns

after you’ve researched to your satisfaction, the next step would be a diagnosis. you have two options here: self diagnosis or a professional diagnosis

self diagnosis means that you approach things with the understanding that you are autistic, and you are free to immerse yourself in the autistic community if you so choose. professional diagnosis means that this understanding of yourself is confirmed by a professional such as a qualified therapist, doctor, or diagnostician

what are the pros and cons of a professional diagnosis?

pros: an official label, if you like those. accommodations in school or in the workplace. the chance to pursue ssi, if you are unable to work due to autism

cons: finding someone to diagnose you as an adult can be difficult, especially if you are a woman or identify more with atypical autism. there is the possibility of a misdiagnosis. it is not covered by insurance and can be expensive. there is a stigma attached to the diagnosis. if you wanted to go into the us army, you would not be able to with a professional diagnosis. possible discrimination in child custody battles

no one can decide for you which is the best path, so take some time to think about it. if you decide you are happy self diagnosing, then congratulations! this part of the journey is over, and you can move freely into your life as a newly realized autistic person. know that even without a professional diagnosis, you are still autistic, and no one can take that away from you. you can go ahead and skip to the end

if you’ve decided to pursue a professional diagnosis, here are the next steps you can take:

A. if you are currently seeing a trusted therapist, ask them for a recommendation for a local diagnostician. they might know someone in the area who has experience diagnosing adults, if they cannot do it themselves. if you’re not seeing a therapist, hit up google and search ‘adult autism diagnosis’ + your city name

B. have you or someone you trust make some calls to local diagnosticians. ask them how much experience they have diagnosing adults, if they have experience diagnosing women (if this applies to you), what their fees are, and exactly what their process is

C. make an appointment! this can be scary, but i promise it doesn’t have to be

D. at the appointment (which may be one day or broken up into several days), you will be interviewed about your experiences and childhood, and asked to fill out paperwork (this will be similar to the quizzes you did earlier). there will be several games you will play, like memory games and puzzles. you can choose to share your document with the diagnostician. another appointment will be made where you get the results

step 5: your new life

you’ve made it! you now know that you’re autistic, and a new part of your life is beginning. there is a lot of joy to discover now that you’ve realized this about yourself. you can find a community, relearn old stims, and understand and accept behavior that may have confused you before. the biggest part of this new life is acceptance. there is nothing bad or broken about you, you are just autistic, and that’s okay! go ahead and reopen that document, and put a big ol smiley face at the end, because you did it! you know more about yourself, and you can now connect with the world in a new way. welcome to the autistic community :) we’re glad to have you

[edit] thank you rowan for letting me know the link was broken and saving this info for me!

Appearance / Personal Habits

Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality

Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be ‘wash and wear’. Can be quite happy not grooming at all at times.

Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance

Is youthful for their age, in looks, dress, behaviour, and tastes

Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than some other Autistic people

Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often scifi, fantasy, children’s, can have favourites which are a refuge

Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.

Intellectual / Giftedness / Education / Vocation

May have been diagnosed as Autistic when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive, etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits

Often musical, artistic

May have a savant skill or strong talent(s)

May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More verbal thinkers may gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology

May have been a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well

Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues

Will not do well with verbal instruction - needs to write down or draw diagram

Obsessions (passions / special interests) are not necessarily unusual

Emotional / Physical

Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive

More open to talk about feelings and emotional issues than people with typical autism

Strong sensory issues - sounds, sights, smells, touch, and prone to overload. (May not have taste/food texture issues.)

Stims to soothe when sad or agitated; rocking, face-rubbing, humming, finger flicking, leg bouncing, finger or foot tapping, etc

Similarly physical when happy - hand-flapping, clapping, singing, jumping, running around, dancing, bouncing

Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood; this can incite anger and rage

Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, especially after a meltdown. Less likely to stutter than some other Autistic people but may have a raspy voice, monotone at times, when stressed or sad

Social / Relationships

Is very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passions / special interests / obsessions

Can be very shy or mute

Like people with typical autism, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socialising in small doses. May even give the appearance of being skilled, but it is a “performance”

Doesn’t go out much. Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if they have them (note from typist: I find I have a short list of “safe people” who I prefer to go out with, and I will refuse to go out if none of those people are available)

Will not have many close friends, and will not conform to gender stereotypical activities with friends, or have get-togethers to “hang out” with friends

Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached

May or may not want to have a relationship. If they are interested in a relationship, they probably take it very seriously, but may choose to remain celibate or alone

#okay here it is!#been working on this for a few days #wading into the deep end of autism research can be really scary when youre just starting out #so i figured this might help some people #if youre like me and like step by step things #i encourage everyone to at least take the first quiz and see what the results are! never know what you might find out!#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autism

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lisjonok · 7 years

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Do the OC thing, all the things, for Baezil. :D

As soon as I saw you sent an ask I knew it’d be ALL THE THINGS for Baezil!!

Behind a cut because this got long (I can ramble).

1: What’s your OC’s biggest insecurity and how would they react if someone pointed it out to them?

Baezil's biggest insecurity is his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- and, to a much lesser extent, his anxiety and paranoid tendencies. He's had a marked improvement in the past decade or so and currently only his spouse is aware that he has this issue and works with him on it.

It's absolutely not something that he likes getting out or being noticed or pointed out by anyone, however. If it is, Baezil goes sort of "silent angry" and partially shuts down or gets pretty short with the person. He'd end all current communication with them and either dismiss them or leave the scene, himself, as smoothly as possible.

This is a lot better than how he was perhaps fifteen to twenty years ago. Baezil was much more prone to emotional outbursts and low-key tantrums. He's worked very hard on his temper.

Unfortunately, it's rare that he'd stop and explain to the offender on what they did to upset him unless they're his spouse or other very close friends or family.

2: If your OC wants to buy a firearm, what it might be for?

Baezil has a rifle and a blaster. Both are for work. He wouldn't otherwise have a weapon.

3: Does your OC behave differently around different people, if so with whom and how?

Absolutely. In public and around most people he doesn't know, Baezil is very formal, damn reserved on personal opinions about anything aside from work, and refrains from showing too many emotions. A small, polite smile is the most one will get. He uses titles only and will correct anyone he doesn't consider a good friend, family, or spouse. He'll only discuss his work and literally nothing else. Baezil probably overcompensates with formalities and politeness because he finds social interaction to be confusing and frightening at the best of times. 100% plants.

Good friends and family get a considerably more relaxed and personable Baezil. He'll smile, will lightly laugh at jokes (even if he doesn't understand the joke, which is nearly always). He'll actually talk about himself/his family. If upset about something, Baezil will still be disinclined to express it and will either push that away temporarily or remove himself from a situation if it's too bad. Maybe, like, 80% plants.

And lastly, a Baezil only his spouse and children see (maybe just his spouse right now, as he had a slightly rocky relationship with his first daughter). He'll ask him to explain jokes to him; even if that "ruins the joke" Baezil would much rather just understand what it was. He relaxes and is much more open with expressing himself, both positively and negatively. Still a lot of plants.

4: Would your OC want to involve themselves in humanitarian work? If yes, then for what? If not, then why not?

Oh, definitely! In the broader sense, his botany project is all about making plant-based medicine and produce more accessable in a variety of difficult climates.

As for immediate relief, Baezil would lend his medical expertise to a situation if they were short on volunteers.

5: How would your OC generally react to someone being verbally abusive towards them for no apparent reason?

Honestly, he would do his best to remove himself from the situation and then agonisingly analyse it for hours or days afterwards to try and figure out how and when he offended the person.

If he can't leave, he'll get defensive and possibly a little aggressive until he can leave.

6: Does your OC have a realistic image of their own intelligence?

Baezil is pretty sure that he's a genius in the realm of botany. And that's it. He believes he's pretty damn inept just about everywhere else.

BTW, not a genius as in egotistical and always correct, but as in he's very knowledgeable and creative within that field, as well as someone who can make errors and is welcome to critique.

7: Does your OC have any irrational phobias?

Not really.

8: How is/was your OC’s relationship with their parents?

Frustrating at the best of times and antagonistic at the worst, mostly in terms of his father who was very controlling and bordering on abusive towards him. His father had recently apologised and they made amends, slowly working towards a better understanding and relationship.

His mother was significantly kinder and more open to Baezil exploring and expressing himself as he preferred but...she, too, didn't understand him too well. Trying to reign her son in always proved to be a fight and she rarely, if ever, spoke up for him when her husband picked on him. So, they both considered Baezil to be a difficult child who has outbursts and rebelled against everything ever.

9: Does your OC feel a pressure to achieve or are they content and calm with doing what they can at the moment?

That was literally all Baezil did until just recently. But, getting older, and marrying Thistles and finally settling down with a permanent home, have helped shift some of his desires from being purely a workaholic to calming down a bit and enjoying other things.

Being promoted to captain and given a science ship with a research team also helped.

10: Does your OC guard their emotions by being tough? If not how would they?

That was Baezil up until maybe his mid-30s. Now he just buries them pretty deep and only lets Thistles see them.

11: How would your OC react to hearing they’re adopted?

His parents would still be his parents since they raised him, obviously, but he would be a little relieved not to be biologically related to his father.

12: What is one of the most primary things your OC feels that is missing from their life?

It used to be family (with children, specifically), but given that he has Thistles now and they're planning children it's something he's excited for and not a thing he's missing.

13: What kind of situations does your OC avoid the most?

Most large social gatherings or events, especially if there are Sith present.

14: If your OC gets into a fight with their best friend, would they wait for their friend to make up with them, or would they try to make up with their friend?

Given that Baezil's best friend is also his husband, I think it'd be a race as to which one of them will make up first. But, Baezil's definitely not the type to wait for apologies; he'd go ahead and do that in nearly every situation because he never believes his reaction is the correct one.

(Honestly they got into a very mild argument once and Baezil apologised for getting upset)

15: Does your OC consider themselves a good person?

Generally, yes.

16: Is your OC good at giving others validation of their feelings and making them feel understood?

Baezil's pretty empathetic and understanding of people who get upset but he doesn't necessarily...understand why people may become upset or react in certain ways to things. He'd definitely try his best to give advice, but in the past this has always turned out to be pretty useless.

17: Does your OC suffer from any mental health issues?

He has diagnosed OCD, for which he had therapy and has worked very hard on making manageable. His anxiety and paranoia go hand in hand with that.

Baezil also suffered from depression for...probably the majority of his life. As that was brought on by outside elements, it's improved significantly in the past few years as those elements have either been resolved or are being resolved.

18: What kind of intrapersonal values does your OC have? (values about their self, what makes them feel like a valid person)

...Uh. He's still working on this.

19: What boosts your OC’s confidence the most?

When Thistles tells him he did a Good and when his botany experiments come back with good results.

20: Does your OC hurt others often unintentionally? If yes, how?

Baezil is always extremely worried that he'll hurt someone as he's definitely done so in the past, either with insensitive comments about aliens or just being very blunt in a situation that had apparently required a more gentle approach.

Hence, one of the many reasons he's very restrained in most social situations.

21: Does your OC hurt others often intentionally? If yes, how?

No... Okay, other than a few fights he intentionally picked in his youth, he doesn't.

22: How does your OC usually show affection? Are they openly romantic or more restricted with their affectionate emotions?

Baezil wants and tries to show affection more openly but he's: A) incredibly inexperienced and is, as a result of that, very shy and somewhat embarrassed, and B) worries that he'll do something Wrong that would hurt or upset his spouse somehow.

It's not all bad, though; he can give Thistles hugs and kisses without internally freaking out.

23: Does your OC tend to hide something about their personality/essence when meeting new people? If yes, what?

Refer to questions 1 and 3!

He absolutely does not, however, hide that he's a giant botanist nerd who cares about plants more than he cares about most people.

24: How would your OC react if they got humiliated by someone in a group of people?

Oof. He'd literally flip a table, yell at someone, and leave.

25: How would your OC process the grief caused by the death of a loved one?

Briefly: depression, reclusiveness, and alcohol.

For longer: work, work, work.

26: What is the most intense thing your OC has been battling with?

Honestly, probably trying to understand himself, his identity, and coming to terms with it.

27: Does your OC practise any kind of escapism? If yes, what kind?

Work. So much work. He's much better now, but he used to just work all of the time and would sometimes not even return home to sleep at night.

28: How would your OC react if a bully stole their lunch money in high school?

He would have tried to fight them. He would have also lost.

29: How does your OC behave in the face of a conflict?

Baezil sets out to try to resolve the conflict, taking any possible safe routes before getting more aggressive/

30: What makes your OC defensive quickest?

Saying his work is bad and not giving any evidence of it. Oh boy, would they be in for a lecture.

#swtor #baezil #meme #calleo #asks

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cchie · 7 years

Text

Violet’s Big Ol’ Honkin’ Questionnaire

A. Psychology

What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera… Violet’s Myers-Briggs is an ISTJ - The Logistician. Dutiful, determined, logical, dependable, responsible. Basically, ISTJs love work and being responsible for their actions. This is Violet in a nutshell.

What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera… Lawful neutral - abiding by the laws and showing respect, but not blindly.

Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it? Violet Adams is actually diagnosed with OCD. She’s aware of it and takes medication for it, or so her mother thinks. Violet stubbornly tries to combat it herself. This is why she wears her hair on one side of her head, to combat her severe OCD, even a little bit.

Are they a pessimist or an optimist? I hate to be that person but she is a realist. She tries to find the most real and possible solution.

Are they good at handling change in their life? Not really, at all. Violet gets very easily shaken with change. Her mother once switched toothpaste brands and it had Violet messed up for weeks.

Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.” Violet actually is pretty confident in her interpretation of events and reality due to her astuteness and eidetic memory. She will combat any counterpoints because she is just so damn sure that she’s right and has remembered correctly.

Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted? While she battles her emotions internally, she rarely ever shows external emotions or expressions; when she does, it’s rather embarrassing. She feels shame for showing any outward emotion and finds them hindering and shameful. When she gets startled, she quickly tries to play it off and snaps that it isn’t funny, or tries to logically explain it was only natural for her to react like that.

Is your OC a martyr? Nope! Would she be, though? That’s the question. Ultimately, yes. She would do whatever she needed to for her people.

Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others? No, Violet hates excuses. She will almost always be honest.

Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily? Not necessarily. She’s quite stubborn and fights for what she believes is right. If the mass of her people think different, she will try to make them understand, but stress out and worry about them hating her for choosing differently. Nowadays, that doesn’t matter to her.

Does your OC put others’ needs before their own? Yes, in a sense of duty. Violet lives to serve and protect her people. She doesn’t care an incredible amount about her needs but recognizes she needs to stay stable and healthy. What kind of leader would she be if she couldn’t?

Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves? I mean, not really? Her addiction isn’t really an addiction, it’s a disorder. She needs to clean, count tiles, turn the light switch on and off three times, etc. Actually, while just thinking of this, I can also see her being somewhere on the autism spectrum, with her social stunts and not understanding tone.

Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from? Failure.

Is your character empathetic? She isn’t. She tries to understand but doesn’t always get human emotions sometimes. She might actually be my least empathetic character. Logic is her primary go-to and it’s difficult for her to imagine how somebody could possibly defy it. Nowadays, she’s gotten better with it. Leaders need to have empathy.

Is your character observant? Yes, she thinks she needs to be in order to become a good leader. She was SHSL Class President, so she kept an eye on everyone and everything.

Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first? Violet really values advice from authority figures and people in power, but if she’s stubborn enough, and thinks she’s right, she’ll go through her own trials.

What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves? Founding the Future Foundation with the other survivors.

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do? A pang of envy twangs in her heart every time she sees people her age hanging out. She does feel bad for feeling envious because she is harsh on herself for having a good house and SHSL talent and all that good stuff. If she had to be a sin, it would definitely be Envy.

What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood? Class clowns. Being called a “robot”.

Are they harsh on themselves? God, yes. She’s so hard on herself. She beats herself up for not being more relatable and more social, she’s tough on herself for her OCD and how hindering it is, she’s harsh on herself for being harsh on herself.

Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why? Violet is above average in terms of looks but she’s always in professional clothes and looks that she doesn’t put too much effort into looking pretty, just looking like a leader. Once you take that away, she’s actually pretty.

Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it? Violet feels confident in her business wear but wishes she could loosen up and wear jeans and a blouse. She places importance on appearance in terms of professionalism, not attractiveness.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it? Miss Adams’s biggest obstacles are, well, there are so many. She wants to overcome her severe OCD and that’s why she wears her hair in a side ponytail, why she tries to wear mismatching socks, etc. She also strives to relate more to people and actually ask somebody to hang out with her some time. While she can be a great leader, she’s missing the fundamentals of getting to know her peers. Overall, she’s trying to overcome her extreme loneliness and social stunt.

B. Social

Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it? Violet believes in getting respect to give it. Respect is incredibly important to her and even when somebody is disrespectful, she still continues to show it, mostly out of honor and not wanting to stoop as low as them.

Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly? If a line is moving slowly, she politely waits. She may be a bit impatient but she won’t show it and take the extra time to read up on something.

Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera? Violet would get angry, but never impolite. She would get upset with them taking too long to check back on her, or getting the food wrong.

Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip? Violet generally tips at 20%, or based off of how quality the service has been. She lives to serve so when it’s somebody’s literal job and they don’t do it to her standard, she tips lower. Violet would never skip out on a tip, but she’s not above only tipping a dollar.

Do they hold doors open for people? Yes! Violet is always respectful and polite, thus her ability and desire to hold doors open for people.

Would your OC let someone ahead of them in line if your OC had a big cart and the person behind them had very few items? Violet would actually not offer that unless they spoke up. She would gently remind them that there are self checkout lines but if they were stubborn, she would give in.

How do they respond to babies crying in public? Hilariously, babies annoy Violet. She has no idea how to react to them or hold them. She tries to put on an illusion that she’s good with them, but she’s actually incredibly awkward around them and holds them as if she were trying not to touch something very gross. When babies cry, she is irked by their loud screaming and wishes they would shut up. And then feels bad for thinking so. If it disturbs the peace or people around the crying child, she will approach the person and speak up about possible disciplinary actions and- oh, why are they leaving?

Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny? Being a stick in the mud and being pretty serious, Violet isn’t funny. She doesn’t care very much for humor and isn’t good at it. If she does laugh at anything, it’s mainly because of manners, or history jokes.

What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM… See above question.

Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t? Violet is very against that humor and will scold anybody she catches laughing at it and lecture them about mental trauma you can cause somebody

Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late? Violet is literally never late. She always makes sure to get there impeccably early. If, by some crazy random happenstance, she were to be late, she would let the other person know and apologize profusely.

Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do? She flags down the waitress the immediate moment she spots her and makes them aware of the situation in a calm and respectable manner.

Do they have a large or small group of friends? This is the saddest thing I’ve ever typed but Violet has no friends. In school, people always viewed her as an authority figure, a robot, a goody-two-shoes, etc. So they never tried to make a connection with her. Post-Tabletonpa, she’s managed to make friends with the survivors, primarily Jack Randolph. She’s even made friends with Evan Gyles, a man she would have never dreamt she would acquaint herself with. She even wanted to kill him at one point. Violet tried to establish a friendship with Patricia, but she had passed in the timeline.

Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves? Nope. Not even entirely to herself. While she believes honesty is incredibly important, self-honesty is harder for her. She had opened up a bit to Patricia Lionheart, and even to Jack Randolph.

Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..? She is somewhere in between enjoying them and dreading them. Clubs and parties aren’t her thing, and she’s never been invited to a party. However, social gatherings and events are something she’s good at, especially when she is in charge of organizing it.

Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix? Violet enjoys being both. It depends on the situation. Being the center of attention is more her thing when it comes to meetings, classes, and other business and academic areas. If it’s recreational, she prefers to be more in the mix.

C. Morality

Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? Having a moral code is sort of strange for Violet. Her morals align more with abiding the law as long as it isn’t harming anyone innocent, you are respecting authority that is just, you’re honest, etc. It’s based off her mother being a judge and her father being a cop.

Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it? Yes. She would feel ashamed and guilty for doing so.

Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own? Yes. Although she thrives off of debates and having to be around open-minded people to help her in discussions about what is best for her peers.

Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser? While Violet thinks she is academically superior and superior via business and leading, she feels inferior to everyone else due to their normalcy and human emotions.

Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational? Absolutely not. Violet is very rigid with her morals and rules and hates breaking them. Even in the killing games she tried to keep order and structure. However, she was willing to kill Evan Gyles in order to protect everybody else from his harm.

What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so? When coming across somebody asking for money or food, she’ll (with best intentions) give them a list of shelters than can help, offer to help them with interviews, etc. She’ll give whatever small change she has and whatever snacks she has. When it’s hot out, she’ll buy a water and give it to them.

Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort? Change is something she knows can happen, but is very hesitant and distrusting when it comes to people. She believes in ulterior motives and holds out on her suspicion until the end.

Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical? More ideal, definitely. She’ll hold people to high expectations even if it doesn’t make sense in the situation. She was always disappointed when people killed their peers in the killing game.

D. Religion and Life and Death

How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general? Violet is actually agnostic. She’s unsure of a god but doesn’t want to write it off just yet. Usually things with her are pretty black and white but religion is like a grey area for her.

Do they believe in an afterlife? The afterlife is also a grey area. She doesn’t believe in it or think it’s not real.

How comfortable are they with the idea of death? Violet accepts that it is a part of life and natural. She is saddened when somebody passes but isn’t depressed over it.

Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be? Violet is very torn over this question because she would love to live and learn more over the years. But living forever is not natural, so she would feel a bit weird.

Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible? Ghosts do not scare Violet in the slightest, or so she’d have you think. She is logically aware that their existence is unlikely but that doesn’t stop her from being freaked out by horror movies about ghosts.

E. Education and Intelligence

Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree? Yes! Violet is highly intelligent. She loves any and all academics and is eager to learn. She would agree that she’s exceptional and thinks highly of her smarts.

Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera) Her strongest would be logical-mathematical, linguistic. Her weakest would probably be existential and interpersonal.

How many languages do they speak? Two! English and Latin. However, she’s learning other languages to better her knowledge and leadership skills.

Did they enjoy school if they went to it? Absolutely. She loved all of her classes and always got straight A’s. When it came to clubs, she joined any and all that she could, especially the Student Council. She could never really make any friends, though. So field trips and excursions were lonely for her.

What’s their highest education level? Do they want to continue their education? As of Tabletonpa, high school. As of nowadays, she actually has her Doctorate’s Degree in Organizational Leadership, Criminal Justice, and Psychology.

Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education? Yes! Violet is a sponge who LOVES absorbing new things she can learn. She’s definitely a Ravenclaw. In her spare time, she’ll seek out courses of knowledge and read articles and essays.

Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous? Yes, yes, and yes. Dutifully and always paying attention is what she‘s good at. She relies on her eidetic memory and knowledge to take tests and exams, so she doesn’t sweat it.

What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets? Not getting to know more people. One of her biggest flaws is her ability to lead people so well, but not actually knowing them.

F. Domestic Habits, Work, and Hobbies

What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there? Her father is a cop and her mother is a judge. They live in a two story house, complete with studies, a library, etc. Her parents moved there after saving up. The rooms are neat and tidy, almost virtually no dust. Everything is organized and pristine. The color schemes are mainly white, grey, brown, and blue.

What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it? Her ideal home is similar to the one her parents live in. Except, not quite as large. She would be happy with a 1 story house, as long as it had an office for her and a library.

Could they ever live in a “tiny home”? Not really. It would make her feel a bit claustrophobic and trapped. She wouldn’t mind a decent sized home, but a tiny one wouldn’t allow for a sea of knowledge.

How clean are they overall with home upkeep? Not a speck in sight. Violet loves being neat and tidy and it pains her to be messy.

How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera? Violet is pretty handy, surprisingly enough. This is due to her reading a countless amount of manuals, encyclopedias, etc. She retains most of the important knowledge and applies it to whatever needs fixing.

How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it? If work were a person, Violet would marry them. Dedication is her strong suit and she loves nothing more than her work. She’s SHSL Class President and loves being in charge of people. Becoming President of the United States is her dream so she’s slowly climbing the ladder.

What’s their “dream career” or job situation? Oops, just answered it. Violet Adams would be such a nice ring to a President, wouldn’t it? She’d be the first female, bisexual President. I’d vote for her.

How often are they home? Half of the time she’s at home, the other half of the time she’s at school. Either at clubs or the library.

Are they homebodies and enjoy being home? She’s not a homebody, really, but she does like being at home. It’s comfortable for her.

Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are? Violet has actually tried learning violin and the flute, but she’s only average at them. This frustrates her because she wants to be above average and she doesn’t understand what she’s doing wrong. She’s decent, at best. She’s accepted that she’ll never be great at art.

What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most? Reading, organizing, debating, learning. Anything that stimulates the mind, she’s down for. She loves puzzles and mysteries.

Would they enjoy a theme park? Probably not. She would enjoy the connection with going with somebody but she would be terrified of riding roller coasters. She would be interested in the games, but the rides would scare her.

G. Family and Growing Up

Is your OC close to their family? She’s close to them, but she could definitely be closer. Her mother is overbearing and intimidates her and her father is kind of distant.

Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them? Her and her parents.

Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not? Yes and no. Her parents are supportive of her studies and her goals, but supportive of her as a person and her OCD? Not really. Her mother is overbearing and pushes her to her limit.

What kind of childhood did your OC have? Boring, really. She would go to school, come home, do chores, do her homework, read, go to bed, etc. She once went to Washington, DC with her parents and it was the most exciting trip to her so she could learn more about history. The tough parts of her childhood was before she was diagnosed with OCD, when her mother just thought her child was weird for her symptoms and she would shame her for it.

Did they go through any typical phases growing up? Violet Adams is an odd child and did not have any typical phases growing up. She mostly kept to herself and was incredibly polit and well-mannered. She never rebelled against her parents, she didn’t have a scene phase, she was never like “lol xD taco so rANDOM”. Even as a kid, she was never really a kid, she was more of an adult.

Do they have any favorite childhood memories? That trip to Washington, DC. It was one of the only times she can remember being happy with her parents and not having a breakdown. They took her to sites she wanted to go to, and didn’t chastise her.

Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by? When her mother would yell at her for wanting to wash her hands 6 times in a row, or turn the lights on and off three times before she entered the room, or anything else she did because of her disorder. Her dad would come to her room afterwards and pathetically try to explain why it was so bizarre for a child to be doing and that her mom was doing it out of love.

H. Romance and Intimacy

What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation? Violet is bisexual! She’s a cis female and hasn’t ever stressed about her gender identity. She has stressed a bit about her bisexuality because if her parents ever found out, they would be incredibly unhappy. They want her to continue the Adams bloodline. Violet knew she was bisexual when she had a crush on the debate team vice president in middle school.

Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover? Wew laddy, I don’t know where to start with this one. Violet has a hard time being a thoughtful partner because she thinks more logically about something instead fo a heartfelt gift. She tries, though. Nowadays, she’ll ask somebody what they would like, or asks her friends for advice. However, when it comes to their needs, she’s thoughtful. If they need alone time, she’ll give it. If they need cuddles, she’s there.

Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right? While close-minded as she is, she may disagree with polyamory but she isn’t against people having multiple partners. She knows that it isn’t her choice and it isn’t affecting her, even if it bothers her a bit. Violet herself is monogamous.

Does your OC believe in love in first sight? Love at first sight does not make any logical sense to Violet. You can’t love somebody you don’t know. Love takes time and practice, and if you think you love somebody after seeing them once, you’re only in love with who you imagine them to be or who they want you to think they are.

Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)? Yes. Violet believes in marriage for the legal benefits and the binding of being together until they die.

Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on? Violet has never dated anybody through any of her school years due to her academic focus, social awkwardness, and strict parents. She has never cheated or been cheated on.

What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically..) Somebody who can hold up an intelligent conversation, who is patient and kind, and understands her strive for academic success and glory. Somebody who will help her with the emotional sides of things.

What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date? Violet would actually love to have dinner and go to the beach at sunset. It’s just so normal.

What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners? People who don’t know what they are talking about, judgemental people, people who make fun of mental disorders.

I. Food

What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera? Sweet and clean. Her favorite food is sushi, it’s delicious and healthy and you don’t have to dirty your hands to eat it. BBQs are hard for Violet because it mainly involves finger food and messes.

Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions… Violet is actually allergic to cinnamon and has to be careful around food like that. Her parents make her eat healtheir foods to keep her physique. But every once in a while, she’ll sneak fast food or junk food.

Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances? Nope! Her parents think it’s a little ridiculous to live like that and believes meat is essential in a diet.

How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot? Violet will cook about twice a week for her family. Her mother and father taught her how to cook so she can fend for herself. She doesn’t order out a lot because her parents are against ordering out often, but if she knows she’ll be home alone one night, every once in a while she’ll go grab a bite somewhere.

Are they a good cook? Surprisingly, yes. She’s not marvelous by any means, but the food she makes is edible and tasty.

Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly? Yes. Routine is her middle name, after all.

J. Politics, Current Events, Environmental Aspects

Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most? Violet is actually for the most part, independent. Her views used to be more conservative due to her parents, but her teachings and research have opened her mind a bit.

How politically aware are they? Very politically aware. After all, she wants to become President. She watches debates and the news very closely.

How politically active are they? Very very active. Constantly making phone calls, campaigning for those she believes in, organizing marches and debates, etc.

Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong? Violet has sources handy that are reliable and factual. She’ll get to the bottom of it if something is fishy. She makes a point to clarify what is wrong and what isn’t.

Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about? Yes! After graduating and moving out, catch Violet at LGBT+ pride marches.

How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs? Respectful and diplomatic.

How much interest in environmental health do they have? A moderate amount! She recycles when she can, helps pick up litter, tries saving water and energy, etc.

In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle? Yes and yes!

L. For the Writer/Owner

How have your characters changed since you created them? Violet originally was going to be more of a grey character than a black and white, but the more I thought about her, the more fitting that became. I was going to make her just a “neat freak” but giving her OCD gave her more realism and complexity and I tried to handle it in a respectful and realistic manner rather than a caricature.

What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any? Mental disorders, logic vs. emotions, success, growth.

Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you? Violet is essentially who I am at my job. I take leadership, I stay objective and constructive, and can be no nonsense. She struggles a lot with her own feelings and mental disorder, which is something I can relate to. I also made her a perfectionist (not really me) and had a caring father (also not related). She is a black and white thinker (me) and has an overbearing mother (also me). She’s definitely a more serious, and logical person than I am.

Would you hang out with your OC if you could? Listen, I would, because this poor girl just needs friends.

How did you come up with your OC? When we started the Danganronpa Tabletop game, we were allowed 3 characters. Violet was the last character I came up with, and I stole the Ultimate title from somebody who ended up not playing. They would have ruined a character like that anyways. So I took the title and molded her into somebody who wanted to succeed, but had her own issues before she could fully do that. I wanted to make her somebody who thought she had all the ingredients to success but was missing a lot of things. Out of my 3 characters, I also designed her to be the straight man who can be more serious and logical, and take leadership. I came to love her way more than I thought I would.

#violet adams #my ocs #tabletonpa

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