#and that is so fucking heartbreaking cause they deserve the world you know
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living with em just has me in this irrational , constant oscillation of idealization and genuine resentment and it’s not fair to them nor myself.. i can’t wait to put space between us ! and i can’t wait to have clarity that brings far more love into my relationships with them.
#and everytime i start to feel like they stole my life from me i gotta remember that like; while unfair; they kinda needed me more than i#i needed to (have a life) as dumb as that sounds#cause now they’re still the same broken people and i actually have all the chances in the world that they never did#and that is so fucking heartbreaking cause they deserve the world you know#so i can’t hate them for not knowing how to be parents. they never stood a chance#idk it feels like all of my sacrifices were in vain bc they’re still struggling but at the same time#they’re sincerely healing in real time. it’s cool to see.#it’s all on their own accord though i have had no part to play in that#and it took me all this time to realize it?#im so angry that they molded me into such an obedient and quiet kid who was too scared to do anything for myself#and they never actually needed me but they convinced me and themselves that they did#and I’ve missed out on so much life. granted I am so young and no one is truly responsible but myself for falling for that bullshit#im just grieving. and there’s a lot to grieve man.#anyways I’m gonna go shopping muahahaha
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◇ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟓 : 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 ◇
God Isn't Here
【Synopsis】 : Bad Boy Bucky wanted to change for you. Be the better man you deserved, but what if you ended up changing more than him?
『W.C』 : 3.70k
-> ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: Slice of Life. Toxic family. Smut. ANGST. Sad Stuff.
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: BadBoy!Bucky x Religious!GoodGirl!Reader
[ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs] : Heavy religious background. Mention of a cult like life. Lots of trauma. Pet names. Swearing. Corruption and slight manipulation. Thigh riding. Dry humping. Oral. Crying turned to sobbing. (I'm sorry this is a shit show). Fingering. Sight sir kink (I can't help myself). When I say this is messy….this is MESSY, FILTHY, DIRTY. Breast play. Clothing is literally being ripped apart. Slight ass play and mention of anal. Hickies. Mention of sex toys. There is way too much dirty talk cause Bucky has a filthy mouth. Use of the name slut. So much sobbing, please forgive me. Cowgirl. Unprotected sex. Loss of virginity. Spanking.
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Perfection. That was what your family described you as. Their perfect little daughter. Naturally pretty, above-average smarts and a people person. Well, that was what your parents dressed you as. They weren't half wrong to be fair. You wanted nothing more than to be the sweet daughter that your parents wanted. But once your heart fell for the mysterious man that stumbled in the back of your bookshop one day. Perfect was no longer the description to view you as.
Rough, mysterious, heartbreaking, bad boy. He looked like he jumped straight out of a dark romance novel. He was everything you were not, and when he laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted to know you, have you, hold you. To fuck the innocence out of you. But he proceeded with caution. Not wanting to scare you away. He was known as a player, someone that fucked around and partied most weekends…
Yet he changed.
Changed for you. He dotted on you. Followed you around like a loving puppy that found his favourite thing in the world. Which he had. You were his everything and the love of his life, and he would do anything for you. And he made sure you knew that every chance he could. Bringing you flowers to your work or gifting you with a home-cooked meal even though he wasn’t the greatest cook. He wanted you to know that he loves you. Forever and always. And when you were cuddling on the couch in your shared apartment―the apartment your parents didn’t know you had―one night, Bucky couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself. He tried not to do something you didn’t want but fucking his fist to the thought of you was no longer working. He needed the real deal. And tonight he tried his luck. His touches were slow, sensual. You almost didn’t notice them while you were so focused on the new show Fionna and Cake in front of you. But when his fingertips grazed the end of your sleep shorts, your head snapped to him seeing he was completely focused on you, not even paying attention to the TV.
You gulped, looking at him with such wide innocent eyes. The tingle in your gut made you confused, but it also intrigued you, wanting to know what it was, but you were also scared it might be considered unholy. You see, you were fighting an inner battle. Yes, you had left your family's practice and ran away with Bucky after he convinced you of your family's toxic lifestyle. You wouldn’t ever consider your life being involved around a cult-like community, but yet it was all you knew. And when you opened a bookshop in your hometown, your parents made sure to monitor the shop like hawks, but neither of them would have thought someone like James Bucky Barnes would stumble into the doors of the sweet establishment. Without even realizing it, that day you started losing your faith in god, if you even had any. It was just a way of life to you and you didn’t know any better back then but now you explore the world day by day with your sweet lover boy and god definitely didn’t have anything to do with that.
“W-what are you doing?” As if you couldn’t sound any more cute than you did right this minute. His blue eyes darkened, sucking in a breath as he watched you squirm. Your doe eyes watched him intensely, your hand snaking down to grab his, holding him still. Did you really not know what teasing was? Then again, you didn’t know most things until he came along. When he first kissed you, he still remembers the shocked expression you made and how you slapped his chest slightly saying ‘We aren’t supposed to do that.’ But now all you do is kiss him. Morning kisses, hello and goodbye kisses. If you walked into the room, he would grab you for a smooch. He loved kissing you, and even though you would not admit it, you craved them too.
“I’m just wanting to touch you, Doll.” His soft voice sent shivers down your spine. You gulped, not knowing what exactly he meant. You gave him a confused expression, and it finally clicked in his head that you didn’t know what was going on. “Can I touch you, baby?”
You smiled letting his hand slip into your own, tilting your head “But you are touching me Jamie.”
Oh fuck, you look so goddamn cute and it made him want to pin you to the couch and fuck you into next week. He wanted, needed to teach you this side of life you didn’t know about. Take it slow, Bucky repeated to himself, placing his hand free hand on top of yours. He closed the distance between your lips but just kept enough space to let you pick whether or not to actually kiss him. And when you gave him a simple smile before sealing your soft lips on his, he took it as a green light to push you further.
“I mean touch sensually...” He peaked your lips again. “Touch you where the ache it.” He kissed the corner of your mouth as both of his hands got free, letting his finger graze your top thigh before slowly slipping towards your inner thigh. Your eyes never left his, eyebrows knotting in anticipation. Your brain was screaming at you, saying what you were about to do was sinful and bad. But your body craved to see what he could do. Could he really help take that ache that pulses in your stomach away? The idea of giving yourself to Bucky more than frightened you… it excited you.
“What are you gonna do to me?” You didn’t mean to sound so seductive, but Bucky drank every word you spoke. And the way you said it would have any man eating out of your hand, yet you didn’t even notice. Merely thinking you were simply asking an innocent question.
“Oh, Darling.” He dipped his fingers further up your thigh, helping you open your legs without a thought, too focused on what Bucky might say. And he thought, for maybe two point five seconds on what he might say. Does he ease in and take it slow like his brain has been repeating for the past month, or does he just drop his filter and see how you react?
He chose to fuck around and find out….
“I want to put my fingers deep inside your pussy.” Your eyes widened at the lewd words that spilled off your lover's tongue. “I want to know what it feels like to fuck you, make love to you.” His fingertips graze your covered core and it makes you jump, whimpering out. You gripped his wrist trying to stop him but you didn’t move him away, too curious to see what he’d do. “Would you let me see what your cunt feels like angel?”
“Y-you can't make l-love to me yet. We aren't married.” That was what you took out of his whole confession. Man has got his work cut out for him. He had to laugh a low, deep grumble, making you shiver. His fingers were still playing with your covered core, trying to pull at the buttons of your pants. “We haven't decided if we want kids yet.”
“Kids?” Okay, now he was the one confused, “Who said anything about kids, Doll?”
“Y-you know…” damn now you feel stupid, of course, this was another thing your parents taught you wrong. You tried to learn things on your own, only just recently finding out what a male privates were called. You felt so small in this outside world, and you tried your hardest not to let Bucky see just how closed off you were growing up, but sometimes it slips out, just like now. And the only way to get out of this was to explain yourself. “You only mate to have bare children. No pleasure or love… it’s a ritual that a married couple performs to conceive kids.”
Bucky tried not to look shocked, but then again, he really wasn't. When he found out you were living in cult-like conditions, he did everything in his power to get you out of that situation whether you liked him to or not. He couldn’t just leave such a sweet thing like you to be devoured by the jaws of a sick bastard who played a so-called god. “My sweet, sweet baby. There is so much more to love-making than bearing children. Do you want me to show you?”
He gave you one last slow kiss, holding your cheek with his free hand, keeping you in place. You sigh in the kiss, feeling a kind of relief and safety. All he wanted to do was keep you comfortable and not do anything you were unsure of. But now you wanted to give back. Give back to his kindness and understanding. You wanted to know, to know what it felt like to be with someone completely. But your mind kept playing the idea that you were betraying your god. You were fighting an inner battle, and you didn’t know what to do. “Y-You can s-show me B-Bucky.”
He shifted his weight, turning to look at you straight on. He placed both hands on either side of your face before asking again. “I need you to say yes, baby. Do you want this? Are you sure?”
“Yes.” You might have said that a little too quickly for your liking, but Bucky. Oh, he’d been waiting for this moment, and it couldn’t be any more perfect. Grabbing your hips, he pulls you up onto his lap. Your face was flustered a bright red. Your hands instantly gripped onto his shoulders as his own snakes under your loose top, feeling your bare tummy. He kisses you on your lips, then a peck on your cheek, then jaw. Before moving down to your neck. His hot tongue licked a long strip against your skin, making you shiver, digging your fingers into his shirt. He chuckled, feeling your hips wiggle, trying to subconsciously relieve the ache. He held your hip with his right hand, helping you move slowly, letting you take control for the moment. He wanted to ease you in, let you find your rhythm. “J-James I f-feel.”
“Feel what baby? What do you feel?” He pulled away to look at you, using his free metal hand to slowly move down your navel before landing just above your core. Your eyes stayed closed, rocking your hips slowly. Your clit was brushing against your jeans just right and it was sending your head into a spin. You didn’t know how to describe the feeling but it felt, good. Right, almost. And then he cupped your pussy making you jump.
“I feel hot… I think I-I’m sweating d-down….” You looked down, seeing his hand holding your core. He looked down to, knowing exactly what you were saying. Chuckling against, he rubbed his two cold metallic middle fingers along your covered slit.
“It’s not sweat, Doll. It’s called cum. It comes out of you when you’re feeling good.” he continued to rub you making your mouth fall agape slightly. He leaned towards your ear kissing the top of your neck before whispering. “and it tastes delicious too. Can you give me a taste baby?”
You hesitantly nodded, “Yes, but is…” He looks at you in your wide eyes. “ W-what about g-gods w…”
“Fuck god. He doesn’t know a good thing if it was staring at him in the face.” His voice was laced with aggression. But his lips against your neck were soft, gentle. “Forget god, baby. It’s just you and me.”
You and me…. Something he has said to you since you met. Sneaking out, he always said it was you and him against the world and the day you had packed your bag―with what little you had―and left while your parents were out, you knew he’d be there for you. You still wonder if your parents even read the note you left them. But then again, they most likely would have thrown it away, not caring for a sinner like you anymore. “I don’t know if I c-can…Bucky…”
He stopped. For a moment. Anger was surging through him. Your family fucked you up so much and all he wanted to was find each and every one of those preachers and kill them where they stood. He wanted to protect you, hold you. Love you. “Yes you can angel. You can do anything you want. You are so strong.”
And with that, you kiss him, taking in a big breath in through your nose. He pulled away first, making you chase his lips, but as his body sank onto the floor, making you watched with curiosity. He sat on his knees, never breaking eye contact with you. His hands find the buttons on your jean shorts, helping you loosen them before ultimately slipping them off. Everything was happening so fast yet so slowly as well. your body was shaking, feeling exposed without your pants, but as his gaze switched from yours to your core between your legs, you couldn’t help but whimper. “James…”
“It’s okay baby I’m going to make you feel good. I promise.” He lent in pushing your panties to the sides and finally getting a good view of your soaked cunt. “Fuck, you are so pretty baby.” he wasted no time in licking a long strip along your folds making you make a high-pitched noise that was music to Bucky's ears. He got to work, suckling, biting and tending to your core. You had thrown your head back against the couch, grabbing your lover's thick dark hair and spreading your legs wider for him without realizing. A strange feeling was brewing in your lower tummy and you couldn’t find the words to explain it. You were feeling all types of emotions, happiness, guilt, hatred, lust and everything in between. And then Bucky took his fingers against your core making you jump.
“Bucky, w-wait…” But your lover didn’t listen cause he knew you’d just start talking about god again. He needed you to listen to him and if words weren't going to work. Maybe a demonstration would. His mouth cages your clit while his finger begins to sink into you slowly and you felt electricity surge through you. Everything you did for your parents. The little girl that “raised right” was slowly slipping away and it was terrifying you. Tears started prickling down your face, feeling so good but so guilty at the same time. Why did your parents have to do what they did to you? Why couldn’t they have raised you normally? Were you could make your own mistakes. You hated them. You hated everything. Everything except Bucky. “G-god…”
You didn’t know what you wanted to say, but you knew he wasn’t going to listen. In fact, he snapped instead, making a chill pool inside you. “God isn’t here baby, now let me have my meal. Got that?”
“Yes sir…” You cried, feeling him put another finger inside you.
“Fuck say that again…” He groan against your clit.
“S-Sir…” You obeyed, feeling his fingers thrusted in a harsh pace, making you scream out, tears pouring out of you more and more with your mouth spilling out saliva onto your chin.
“That’s right, baby. This is my pussy yeah? I get to play with her―Fuck her whenever I want. Do you understand?” He chuckled, nibbling on your puffy nub.
“Y-yes sir. Please, have me whenever you’d like. I’ll be good. I promise. Fffuuck!!” You’ve never sworn before, but it felt like a word needed for this occasion. A band in you snapped, feeling yourself clench around Bucky's fingers. He slowed down until he came to a stop, but not pulling his fingers out just yet. He had to see your face, the way your nose scrunched up when his thumb pressed firmly on your clit and fingers slowly slipping from inside you helping your ride out your high. Hearing you swear was single-handedly the sexiest thing you could do. He stood up quickly, grabbing your wrist so he could pull you up making you stand. But your legs didn’t want to work so he had to hold you up.
“Don’t worry, baby. You’re always good, baby. My sweet girl.” he pecked your nose, making you smile. He rubbed away some of your tears with his left thumb. You both stood there for a moment, letting you catch your breath. But without you noticing, he undid his belt and jean buttons, shaking his jeans off. You only then noticed when a hard object poked your tummy. Looking down, you see his appendage under his boxers. You had to gulp worried as to how it might fit inside you. He licked his lips watching you inspect him, he had no shame, slipping his thumb under the band of his boxer before pulling it down, letting his cock spring free.
You gasped, seeing his dick whack his navel. Its red angry tip leaking out some pre-cum and twitching just at the thought you’d touch it. You looked back at his eyes with wide doe eyes, almost silently asking what was going to happen next. He swung you both around so his back was facing the couch before taking a seat on it. He pulled you along, letting you take a seat on his lap. The feeling of his hot cock against your pussy made you clench around nothing. Your nerves were shot and you were shaking with a mixture of fear and excitement.
“Ready?” He simply asked, snaking his hands under your top tugging on the fabric slightly. You nodded, answering with a small yes before he took the end of your shirt and ripped it down the middle. You gasped, moaning without thinking. Your chest was suddenly exposed to him, leaving you completely bare for him. He had a sadistic smirk painting his features, leaning down he licked your left nipple making you whimper out his name. Your hands found his shoulders, letting him attack your chest with harsh red and purple marks. His hands that layed on your hips moved behind you. One grabbed a hand full of your ass while the other one glided toward your asshole. He put pressure against your hole, and it made you wiggle in his grasp. He lived for your reaction.
“Sensitive Doll? I wonder what I would feel like to fuck this tight little ass too? Hmm.” His dirty words made you feel filthy in the best way. His thumb slipped into your puckered hole for a moment sending a new feeling through your system. Anything he did was pushing your buttons correctly. It was like he knew your body better than you did. “You’re just a dirty girl, aren’t you? Wanting to be fucking in the ass? Bet I could fuck this pussy while I have a pretty dildo up your ass. Hmm. Would you like that? You want to be my little slut?”
“I-I’m not dirty…I..I..” You didn’t know what to say, feeling conflicted in his words. But he couldn’t care. Your body was reacting perfectly to his words, and that’s all he needed.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll fuck you nice and full. And then we can go shopping. I plan on showing you all the pleasure you’d been missing out on.” his laugh was lewd, almost cruel sounding and you couldn’t help but moan in response. He lifted you up slowly without you taking much notice, only focusing on his finger thrusting in your asshole softly. It was only when a sharp pain started forming in your front you snapped your eyes open looking down.
“F-fuck…JAMES!!” he helped you sink down slowly until you had him completely nestled inside your aching cunt. You were crying again. But it was different this time. The pain was only slight, you actually didn’t mind the pain. But it was the value of what you had just done. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you sobbed. Crying from all the frustration. All the anger you had against your parents. Against your community. You had now completely turned your back on the god you once worshipped. All your life learning certain things was for nothing.
“Shhhh. It’s okay.” he rubbed your back, feeling a tingle in his gut. God, you felt so good, your pussy was clenching him perfectly but he felt sorry for you. You had lived only one way and he came in and changed your life in a blink of an eye and it wouldn't had been easy one bit for you.
He had made a promise to himself that night. While his hips started to move and your body started to stutter with him. While his lips were on yours or sucking sharply on your neck. While his hands smacked your plump ass helping you ride his cock at a desperate pace. And when he bent you over the edge of the couch so he could fuck you from behind while you creamed all over his cock for the fourth time. He was going to love you, now and forever. He was going to teach you new things every day and always make sure you were the best version of yourself. And he was going to also fuck you in every room of this house…
That last part might of just been more for his sake but it’s the thought that counts.
#1-800-jjbarnes#marvel#jjbarnes#bucky#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x you#james buchanan bucky barnes#james barnes x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#james barnes#james buchanan barnes x reader#james bucky barnes x reader#kinktober 2023#mcu kinktober#kinktober#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier x you#winter soldier x y/n#winter soldier#sebastian stan x fluff#sebastian stan x plus size reader#sebastian stan x you#Sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader
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♡ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟓: 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐊.𝐇𝐉 ♡
God Isn't Here
【sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs】 : Bad Boy Hongjoong wanted to change for you. Be the better man you deserved, but what if you ended up changing more than him?
『ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ』 : 3.70k
-> ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: Slice of Life. Toxic family. Smut. ANGST. Sad Stuff.
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: BadBoy!Hongjoong x Religious!GoodGirl!Reader
[ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs] : Heavy religious background. Mention of a cult like life. Lots of trauma. Pet names. Swearing. Corruption and slight manipulation. Thigh riding. Dry humping. Oral. Crying turned to sobbing. (I'm sorry this is a shit show). Fingering. Sight sir kink (I can't help myself). When I say this is messy....this is MESSY, FILTHY, DIRTY. Breast play. Clothing is literally being ripped apart. Slight ass play and mention of anal. Hickies. Mention of sex toys. There is way too much dirty talk cause Hongjoong has a filthy mouth. Use of the name slut. So much sobbing please forgive me I was in a mood. Cowgirl. Unprotected sex. Loss of virginity. Spanking.
Thank you, @historyinmybed , for requesting Hongjoong. Also, thank you to my anony for requesting the plot ♡♡♡
Note: I want to point out that this fic this is no way hating on any type of religion. I came from a very religious household, so I get the idea of internal hatred to yourself and 'god'. But please take this fic with a grain of salt. Believe what you want to believe and practise what you wish to practise. No one should tell you what you can or can not worship. That's your life. Not there's.
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Perfection. That was what your family described you as. Their perfect little daughter. Naturally pretty, above-average smarts and a people person. Well, that was what your parents dressed you as. They weren't half wrong to be fair. You wanted nothing more than to be the sweet daughter that your parents wanted. But once your heart fell for the mysterious man that stumbled in the back of your bookshop one day. Perfect was no longer the description to view you as.
Rough, mysterious, heartbreaking bad boy. He looked like he jumped straight out of a dark romance novel. He was everything you were not and when he laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted to know you, have you, hold you. To fuck the innocence out of you. But he proceeded with caution. Not wanting to scare you away. He was known as a player, someone that fucked around and partied most weekends…
Yet he changed.
Changed for you. He dotted on you. Followed you around like a loving puppy that found his favourite thing in the world. Which he had. You were his everything and the love of his life and he would do anything for you. And he made sure you knew that every chance he could. Bringing you flowers to your work or gifting you with a home-cooked meal even though he wasn’t the greatest cook. He wanted you to know that he loves you. Forever and always. And when you were cuddling on the couch in your shared apartment―the apartment your parents didn’t know you had―one night, Hongjoong couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself. He tried not to do something you didn’t want but fucking his fist to the thought of you was no longer working. He needed the real deal. And tonight he tried his luck. His touches were slow, sensual. You almost didn’t notice them while you were so focused on the new show Fionna and Cake in front of you. But when his fingertips grazed the end of your sleep shorts, your head snapped to him seeing he was completely focused on you, not even paying attention to the TV.
You gulped looking at him with such wide innocent eyes. The tingle in your gut made you confused but it also intrigued you, wanting to know what it was but you were also scared it might be considered unholy. You see, you were fighting an inner battle. Yes, you had left your family's practice and ran away with Hongjoong after he convinced you of your family's toxic lifestyle. You wouldn’t ever consider your life being involved around a cult-like community but yet it was all you knew. And when you opened a bookshop in your hometown your parents made sure to monitor the shop like hawks but neither of them would have thought someone like Hongjoong would stumble into the doors of the sweet establishment. Without even realizing, that day you starting losing your faith in god, if you even had any. It was just a way of life to you and you didn’t know any better back then but now you explore the world day by day with your sweet lover boy and god definitely didn’t have anything to do with that.
“W-what are you doing?” As if you couldn’t sound any more cute than you did right this minute. His eyes darkened, sucking in a breath as he watched you squirm. Your doe eyes watched him intensely, your hand snaking down to grab his, holding him still. Did you really not know what teasing was? Then again you didn’t know most things until he came along. When he first kissed you, he still remembers the shocked expression you made and how you slapped his chest slightly saying ‘We aren’t supposed to do that.’ But now all you do is kiss him. Morning kisses, hello and goodbye kisses. If you walked into the room he would grab you for a smooch. He loved kissing you and even though you would not admit it, you craved them too.
“I’m just wanting to touch you, Darling.” His soft voice sent shivers down your spine. You gulped, not knowing what exactly he meant. You gave him a confused expression, and it finally clicked in his head that you didn’t know what was going on. “Can I touch you, baby?”
You smiled letting his hand slip into your own, tilting your head “But you are touching me Joongie.”
Oh fuck, you look so goddamn cute and it made him want to pin you to the couch and fuck you into next week. He wanted, needed to teach you this side of life you didn’t know about. Take it slow, Hongjoong repeated to himself, placing his hand free hand on top of yours. He closed the distance between your lips but just kept enough space to let you pick whether or not to actually kiss him. And when you gave him a simple smile before sealing your soft lips on his, he took it as a green light to push you further.
“I mean touch sensually...” He peaked your lips again. “Touch you where the ache it.” He kissed the corner of your mouth as both of his hands got free, letting his finger graze your top thigh before slowly slipping towards your inner thigh. Your eyes never left his, eyebrows knotting in anticipation. Your brain was screaming at you, saying what you were about to do was sinful and bad. But your body craved to see what he could do. Could he really help take that ache that pulses in your stomach? The idea of giving yourself to Hongjoong more than frightened you… it excited you.
“What are you gonna do to me?” You didn’t mean to sound so seductive but Hongjoong drank every word you spoke. And the way you said it would have any man eating out of your hand, yet you didn’t even notice. Merely thinking you were simply asking an innocent question.
“Oh, Darling.” He dipped his fingers further up your thigh helping you open your legs without a thought, too focused on what Hongjoong might say. And he thought, for maybe two point five seconds on what he might say. Does he ease in and take it slow like his brain has been repeating for the past month or does he just drop his filter and see how you react?
He chose to fuck around and find out….
“I want to put my fingers deep inside your pussy.” Your eyes widened at the lewd words that spilled off your lover's tongue. “I want to know what it feels like to fuck you, make love to you.” His fingertips graze your covered core and it makes you jump, whimpering out. You gripped his wrist trying to stop him but you didn’t move him away, too curious to see what he’d do. “Would you let me see what your cunt feels like angel?”
“Y-you can't make l-love to me yet. We aren't married.” That was what you took out of his whole confession, man has got his work cut out for him. He had to laugh a low deep grumble making you shiver. His fingers were still playing with your covered core, trying to pull at the buttons of your pants. “We haven't decided if we want kids yet.”
“Kids?” Okay, now he was the one confused, “Who said anything about kids, darling?”
“Y-you know…” damn now you feel stupid, of course, this was another thing your parents taught you wrong. You tried to learn things on your own, only just recently finding out what a male privates were called. You felt so small in this outside world and you tried your hardest not to let Hongjoong see just how closed off you were growing up but sometimes it slips out, just like now. And the only way to get out of this was to explain yourself. “You only mate to have bare children. No pleasure or love… it’s a ritual that a married couple preform to conceive kids.”
Hongjoong tried to not look shocked but then again he really wasn't. When he found out you were living in cult-like conditions he did everything in his power to get you out of that situation whether you liked him to or not. He couldn’t just leave such a sweet thing like you to be devoured by the jaws of a sick bastard who played a so-called god. “My sweet, sweet baby. There is so much more to love-making than bearing children. Do you want me to show you?”
He gave you one last slow kiss, holding your cheek with his free hand keeping you in place. You sigh in the kiss, feeling a kind of relief and safety. All he wanted to do was keep you comfortable and not do anything you were unsure of. But now you wanted to give back. Give back to his kindness and understanding. You wanted to know, to know what it felt like to be with someone completely. But your mind kept playing the idea that you were betraying your god. You were fighting an inner battle and you didn’t know what to do. “Y-You can s-show me Joongie.”
He shifted his weight, turning to look at you straight on. He placed both hands on either side of your face before asking again. “I need you to say yes baby. Do you want this? Are you sure?”
“Yes.” You might have said that a little too quickly for your liking but Joong. Oh, he’d been waiting for this moment and it couldn’t be any more perfect. Grabbing your hips he pulls you up onto his lap. Your face was flustered a bright red. Your hands instantly gripped onto his shoulders as his own snakes under your loose top, feeling your bare tummy. He kisses you on your lips, then a peck on your cheek, then jaw. Before moving down to your neck. His hot tongue licked a long strip against your skin making you shiver, digging your fingers into his shirt. He chuckled feeling your hips wiggle, trying to subconsciously relieve the ache. He held your hip with his right hand, helping you move slowly, letting you take control, for the moment. He wanted to ease you in, let you find your rhythm. “J-joongie I f-feel.”
“Feel what baby? What do you feel?” He pulled away to look at you, using his free hand to slowly move down your navel before landing just above your core. Your eyes stayed closed, rocking your hips slowly. Your clit was brushing against your jeans just right and it was sending your head into a spin. You didn’t know how to describe the feeling but it felt, good. Right, almost. And then he cupped your pussy making you jump.
“I feel hot… I think I-I’m sweating d-down….” You looked down, seeing his hand holding your core. He looked down to, knowing exactly what you were saying. Chuckling against he rubbed his two middle fingers along your covered slit.
“It’s not sweat Darling. It’s called cum. It comes out of you when you’re feeling good.” he continued to rub you making your mouth fall agape slightly. He leaned towards your ear kissing the top of your neck before whispering. “and it tastes delicious too. Can you give me a taste baby?”
You hesitantly nodded, “Yes, but is…” He looks at you in your wide eyes. “ W-what about g-gods way…”
“Fuck god. He doesn’t know a good thing if it was staring at him in the face.” His voice was laced with aggression. But his lips against your neck were soft, gentle. “Forget god, baby. It’s just you and me.”
You and me…. Something he has said to you since you met. Sneaking out he always said it was you and him against the world and the day you had packed your bag―with what little you had―and left while your parents were out you knew he’d be there for you. You still wonder if your parents even read the note you left them. But then again they most likely would have thrown it away, not caring for a sinner like you anymore. “I don’t know if I c-can…Hongjoong…”
He stopped. For a moment. Anger was surging through him. Your family fucked you up so much and all he wanted to was find each and every one of those preachers and kill them where they stood. He wanted to protect you, hold you. Love you. “Yes you can angel. You can do anything you want. You are so strong.”
And with that you kiss him, taking in a big breath in through your nose. He pulled away first making you chase his lips but as his body sinks onto the floor, you watch with curiosity. He sat on his knees, never breaking eye contact with you. His hands find the buttons on your jean shorts, helping you loosen them before ultimately slipping them off. Everything was happening so fast yet so slowly as well. your body was shaking, feeling exposed without your pants but as his gaze switched from yours to your core between your legs, you couldn’t help but whimper. “Hongjoong…”
“It’s okay baby I’m going to make you feel good. I promise.” He lent in pushing your panties to the sides and finally getting a good view of your soaked cunt. “Fuck, you are so pretty baby.” he wasted no time in licking a long strip along your folds making you make a high-pitched noise that was music to Hongjoong’s ears. He got to work, suckling, biting and tending to your core. You had thrown your head back against the couch, grabbing your lover's thick dark hair and spreading your legs wider for him without realizing. A strange feeling was brewing in your lower tummy and you couldn’t find the words to explain it. You were feeling all types of emotions, happiness, guilt, hatred, lust and everything in between. And then Hongjoong took his fingers against your core making you jump.
“Hongjoong, w-wait…” But your lover didn’t listen cause he knew you’d just start talking about god again. He needed you to listen to him and if words weren't going to work. Maybe a demonstration would. His mouth cages your clit while his finger begins to sink into you slowly and you felt electricity surge through you. Everything you did for your parents. The little girl that “raised right” was slowly slipping away and it was terrifying you. Tears started prickling down your face, feeling so good but so guilty at the same time. Why did your parents have to do what they did to you? Why couldn’t they have raised you normally? Were you could make your own mistakes. You hated them. You hated everything. Everything except Hongjoong. “G-god…”
You didn’t know what you wanted to say but you knew he wasn’t going to listen, in fact, he snapped instead making a chill pool inside you. “God isn’t her baby, now let me have my meal. Got that?”
“Yes sir…” You cried, feeling him put another finger inside you.
“Fuck say that again…” He groan against your clit.
“S-Sir…” You obeyed, feeling his fingers thrusted in a harsh pace making you scream out, tears pouring out of you more and more with your mouth spilling out saliva onto your chin.
“That’s right baby. This is my pussy yeah? I get to play with her―Fuck her whenever I want. Do you understand?” He chuckled, nibbling on your puffy nub.
“Y-yes sir. Please, have me whenever you’d like. I’ll be good. I promise. Fffuuck!!” You’ve never sworn before but it felt like a word needed for this occasion. A band in you snapped, feeling yourself clench around Joong’s fingers. He slowed down until he came to a stop, but not pulling his fingers out just yet. He had to see your face, the way your nose scrunched up when his thumb pressed firmly on your clit and fingers slowly slipping from inside you helping your ride out. Hearing you swear was single-handedly the sexiest thing you could do. He stood up quickly, grabbing your wrist so he could pull you up making you stand. But your legs didn’t want to work so he hand to hold you up.
“Don’t worry baby. You’re always good baby. My sweet girl.” he pecked your nose making you smile. He rubbed away some of your tears with his left thumb. You both stood there for a moment letting you catch your breath. But without you noticing he undid his belt and jean buttons, shaking his jeans off. You only then noticed when a hard object poked your tummy. Looking down you see his appendage under his boxers. You had to gulp worried as to how it might fit inside you. He licked his lips watching you inspect him, he had no shame, slipping his thumb under the band of his boxer before pulling it down, letting his cock spring free.
You gasped seeing his dick whack his navel. Its red angry tip leaking out some pre-cum and twitching just at the thought you’d touch it. You looked back at his eyes with wide doe eyes, almost silently asking what was going to happen next. He swung you both around so his back was facing the couch before taking a seat on it. He pulled you along letting you take a seat on his lap. The feeling of his hot cock against your pussy made you clench around nothing. Your nerves were shot and you were shaking with a mixture of fear and excitement.
“Ready?” He simply asked, snaking his hands under your top tugging on the fabric slightly. You nodded, answering with a small yes before he took the end of your shirt and ripped it down the middle. You gasped, moaning without thinking. Your chest was suddenly exposed to him, leaving you completely bare for him. He had a sadistic smirk painting his features, leaning down he licked your left nipple making you whimper out his name. Your hands found his shoulders, letting him attack your chest with harsh red and purple marks. His hands that layed on your hips moved behind you. One grabbed a hand full of your ass while the other one glided toward your asshole. He put pressure against your hole and it made you wiggle in his grasp. He lived for your reaction.
“Sensitive Doll? I wonder what I would feel like to fuck this tight little ass too? Hmm.” His dirty words made you feel filthy in the best way. His thumb slipped into your puckered hole for a moment sending a new feeling through your system. Anything he did was pushing your buttons correctly. It was like he knew your body better than you did. “You’re just a dirty girl, aren’t you? Wanting to be fucking in the ass? Bet I could fuck this pussy while I have a pretty dildo up your ass. Hmm. Would you like that? You want to be my little slut?”
“I-I’m not dirty…I..I..” You didn’t know what to say feeling conflicted in his words. But he couldn’t care, your body was reacting perfectly to his words and that’s all he needed.
“Don’t worry baby. I’ll fuck you nice and full. And then we can go shopping. I plan on showing you all the pleasure you’d been missing out on.” his laugh was lewd, almost cruel sounding and you couldn’t help but moan in response. He lifted you up slowly without you taking much notice, only focusing on his finger thrusting in your asshole softly. It was only when a sharp pain started forming in your front you snapped your eyes open looking down.
“F-fuck…Hongjoong!!” he helped you sink down slowly until you had him completely nestled inside your aching cunt. You were crying again. But it was different this time. The pain was only slight, you actually didn’t mind the pain. But it was the value of what you had just done. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you sobbed. Crying from all the frustration. All the anger you had against your parents. Against your community. You had now completely turned your back on the god you once worshipped. All your life learning certain things was for nothing.
“Shhhh. It’s okay.” he rubbed your back, feeling a tingle in his gut. God, you felt so good, your pussy was clenching him perfectly but he felt sorry for you. You had lived only one way and he came in and changed your life in a blink of an eye and it wouldn't had been easy one bit for you.
He had made a promise to himself that night. While his hips started to move and your body started to stutter with him. While his lips were on yours or sucking sharply on your neck. While his hands smacked your plump ass helping you ride his cock at a desperate pace. And when he bent you over the edge of the couch so he could fuck you from behind while you creamed all over his cock for the fourth time. He was going to love you, now and forever. He was going to teach you new things every day and always make sure you were the best version of yourself. And he was going to also fuck you in every room of this house…
That last part might of just been more for his sake but it’s the thought that counts.
- ♥︎
#ateez#ateez smut#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez reaction#ateez reactions#ateez fanfic#ateez fluff#ateez scenario#ateez x female reader#ateez x reader#ateez x reader smut#ateez fic#atz hongjoong#atz reactions#atz smut#atz fluff#atz drabbles#atz hard hours#atz imagines#atz scenarios#atz x reader#atz fanfic#kinktober#kinktober 2023#hongjoong fluff#hongjoong smut#ateez hongjoong#kim hongjoong#ja3hwa
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//tw- antis, sa, death
Some shit I found on Twitter today. The fuck are antis on
When someone dies, it is traumatic. Full stop. Death is the worst fear that we, as people, instinctively have. If someone in our lives dies, it it’s terrifying. Not only is it a reminder of our own mortality, but it’s also heartbreaking to loose someone. Especially when it’s someone close to us. To say that it’s not traumatic because they are gone is absurd. It’s traumatic BECAUSE someone you love is gone. It’s not an “out of sight out of mind” type deal. People don’t suddenly mean nothing if they are dead. And if this anti was referencing how dead people can’t be traumatized by their own death, that’s still fucked up. It’s true, but their death will affect the people around them. And the people who experience attempted murder, and live with the trauma of living with a near death experience? Do they not matter? Should they have died instead of living?
If this is how someone truly feels about death (nonspecific and just generally death), I fully believe that they should seek therapy. This is an abnormal response to loss, and it can be a good indicator of underlying mental health issues that can and will cause further problems for both the people experiencing this sort of feeling and the people around them.
I don’t want the morality police to start saying this type of thing though. It makes their argument even more outlandish imo. If real death means nothing to you, but fictional death does, then what kind of moral stand point is that even supposed to be? And to say that people are better off dead than to live their lives with the experience of trauma is disgusting. Victims of sexual abuse, or anyone who has experienced trauma of any sort, often feel like they should be dead and struggle with suicidal thoughts. I know my own trauma has caused this in me when I was younger. By saying that victims are better off dead helps drive people over the edge. This is abhorrent. And maybe, that’s what they want. Victims deserve to live regardless.
There’s beauty in this world, and we are here too see it and to create more of that beauty for others. Nobody is better off dead because of the things in our lives that were out of our hands.
As a csa survivor myself, yes, my trauma is life long and will always affect me to some degree. However, I’ve grown past it. I’m more than my trauma, and so is every other victim out there. It’s important to my growth as a person and my experiences. But it doesn’t define my whole life. I won’t give my trauma the right to dictate who I am or how I behave. I’m not an animal that needs to be put out of my misery because of what I went through. Death is not a better option to living with past trauma
#tw sa#tw antis#tw death#proship#profic#anti anti#profiction#comship#anti censorship#anti harassment#fandom discourse#twitter screenshot
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The Winner Takes It All ✷ cl16
✷ FIRST INTERLUDE OF THE TAMING OF THE HEARTBREAKER
━━━━━ NEXT !
in which... another name is added to Y/N's infamous list !
IN THE GILDED WORLD OF HOLLYWOOD, two events have become so common that no one bats an eye at the sight of them anymore: seeing Y/N L/N win an Oscar and leave with the current heartthrob.
Last night was no exception, ticking all the boxes in this new industry's ritual. While the West Side Story actress did indeed bring home the Best Actress Oscar (again), her real award of the night was the charming Timothée Chalamet, present to support the ten nominations for Dune. The two actors were seen very close during and after the Vanity Fair after-party, eventually both slipping away in the same SUV.
This is nothing new for the actress. Wherever she goes, it is impossible to feel indifferent about Y/N L/N. She knows it. So does everybody. Her ever-growing list of conquests is always the talk of the industry. No one even bother to count the names anymore: it would take hours.
Between Chalamet at the Oscars, François Civil and Pierre Niney at the French Césars or Harry Styles at the Grammys, Y/N L/N seems determined to single-handedly revive old Hollywood, between conquests, scandals, and chaos!
✷ SEE ALSO ON LOVE CLUB... !
Is Y/N L/N the inspiration behind Harry Style's Woman?
Between existing for her art or for her body, Y/N L/N seems to have made her choice
L/N's French idyll with François Civil cut short
The one now known as "The Heartbreaker"⏤a politically correct version of "whore," still favoured by many internet users⏤has been causing daily havoc everywhere, be it in newspapers or on social media, because of her behaviour, deemed "unladylike."
She responded to these criticisms on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show a few months ago:
"If I were a man, nobody would say anything. I'm a whore and, yet, when a man does the same thing, he's a player. This has double-standard written all over it. People just hate to see women do what they want with their bodies."
Regardless of the hate she receives on a daily basis, L/N doesn't seem ready to settle down soon. But will she ever be?
We are all left wondering who will succeed in⏤to quote Shakespeare⏤taming The Heartbreaker.
FILED UNDER #Y/NL/N #TIMOTHÉECHALAMET #ACTORS #OSCARS #DATING
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Anonymous 2 hours ago
She didn't deserve Best Actress. I mean... Jessica Chastain was right there. Once again, it shows us just how rigged the Oscars are! Go fuck your boy-toy and let the real actors act.
Anonymous 1 hour ago
She's an incredibly good actress. What a shame she is so crass.
Anonymous 1 hour ago
You go, girl! She's living her best life, as she should. If she doesn't want to settle down now, then she doesn't have to. Men should just shut up.
Anonymous 3 hours ago
No one will ever want something serious with her. Women like L/N are only meant to be fucked.
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Summary : Love was special, love was a feeling that everyone deserved but not like this. Not the love they gave. Their love was explosive, angry, and possessive. But what if… What if you loved them back just as much?
Genre : Yandere!SKZ x F!Reader Angst
TW : Yandere themes ; possessiveness ; manipulation ; jealousy ; kidnapping ;
Summary : His precious darling was everything to him. You were everything to him. Nobody would ever keep him from you, nobody would ever take you away from him. But what if it felt like someone was taking him from you? Jealousy is… adorable.
TW : possessiveness ; manipulation ;
-> Start Watching
Summary : Lee Know didn’t mess around with what’s his and you were his and his only. He didn’t quite care for how he kept you, and you didn’t care either, as long as he was yours. You hated hearing him with someone else, seeing him with other people. Jealousy is… a bitch.
TW : verbal abuse ; yelling ; arguing ; crying ; manipulation ;
-> Start Watching
Summary : Changing fell easily and he fell hard. He wanted nothing more than to adore you and make you feel adored. He’d never keep you locked away, he’d never hurt you, that’s why when he found out that he was unintentionally upsetting you, he hated himself. Jealousy is… heartbreaking.
TW : soft!yandere Changbin ; minimal arguing ; heavy emotions ; verging on manipulation ;
-> Start Watching
Summary : He was handsome, he knew that, but he also was sure to tell you that you were the only person that truly had him. Even still, you couldn’t fight the bitter feeling at the thought of someone else being with him. Jealousy is… sickening.
TW : rage ; annoyance ; insults ; emotional whiplash ;
-> Start Watching
Summary : No matter how long he kept you hidden away, how much he tied you up, you never stopped loving him. Maybe he wanted a fight, he wanted someone to tell him that what he was doing was wrong so that he could fight for you more. That’s why he resorted to being with other people, only to find you crying when he was done. He loved it. Jealousy is… beautiful.
TW : reader being tied up ; reader being held prisoner ; cheating ; heavy manipulation ;
-> Start Watching
Summary : He did everything for you. He protected you, he sheltered you, he worshipped you. He’d buy you the world if it was for sale. Everything he did, he did it for you, yet you still whined when he was seen around another woman, you’d sulk if didn’t join you in bed at night. it was irritating and uncalled for and he wouldn’t stand for it. Jealousy is… a sin.
TW : violence ; throwing stuff ; intent to cause fear ; yelling ; screaming ; insults ; emotional abuse ;
-> Start Watching
Summary : Your pregnancy wasn’t something that he had planned, it wasn’t something that he wanted, but he absolutely adored the way you clung to him after finding out. The surging hormones made your feelings stronger, and one of those feelings were jealousy, which he found endearing. Maybe he teased with you a little, but that’s only because he’s been waiting so long. Jealousy is… precious.
TW : pregnancy ; manipulation ; possessiveness ; emotional manipulation ;
-> Start Watching
Summary : Now that he finally had you, it was easy. It was easy to make you want him, to make you need him, to make you depend on him. Too easy. Now you wanted him around, you hated when he left, and you pouted whenever he left the room. This was what he wanted, but he fucking hated it. Jealousy is… annoying.
TW : emotional whiplash ; degraded reader ; emotionally exhausted reader ; purposefully making reader jealous ; verbal abuse ;
-> Start Watching
#kpopfanfic#kpopheadcanons#kpopscenarios#kpop#kpopimagine#kpopmasterlist#stray kids masterlist#skz masterlist#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#yandere stray kids#stray kids headcanons#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fic#stray kids imagines#bangchan x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#Han jisung x reader#Lee Felix x reader#seungmin x reader#yang jeongin x reader
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i couldn't watch the documentary without crying. my xuxi... i really don't know what to say, it hurts so much. literally he said that he wanted to die. what if it had happened? what if he had committed suicide? all the stupid creatures would have loved him and been sorry for him if that had happened, right? but after a incident like that, every single those cruel who caused it would have been an 'angel' and said things like "we love you, we are so sorry, we'll miss you etc." right? after it was all over, we would literally have lost someone because of the bullshit they said without knowing anything about the truth. like what happened to moonbin, to sulli, to jonghyun, to hara and to more innocent and beautiful people like them... you remember how they left us? yeah because of some human garbage saying bad things about them, causing them for nothing and bullying them for no reason. what if we had lost one more person again, how would you live with it? even one word you say can change someone's life in every way, you know? a word can make a person live or a word can cause their end...
he was a sunshine but they stole his brightness. he lost his precious smile since then, he looks so fucking tired. when he said he couldn't eat for a while or lost his hair, i couldn't help myself crying, i felt so bad for him. and maybe some people don't know that but every single thing he said he had been through during his hiatus like not getting out of bed or losing appetite etc. are literally major depression symptoms... and it's so sad to see that someone who has the brightest smile like him was in depression like for 6 months or maybe longer... guys, he is a HUMAN like me like you like us.
a fucking stupid sasaeng ruined his life and the most heartbreaking part is that people believed that bich not him and forced him to apologise for something he even hadn't done. and the funnier thing is the "company" haven't done any single thing about it, hah- ah sorry wait the company has done something, right?! yeah just have made him apologise to this shit again and again. even he himself exposed that person, yeah because our really thoughtful (!) company never takes action. so he had to get his life in order.
and the other heartbreaking thing is when he said "i really want to be with them". lucas has always been the sunshine of the group, the mood maker of the group, the giant baby of the group... he has been there for every single of them since the beginning. and actually he still is as we have seen even though the company tried so hard to not make him obvious with a mask and a beanie lol. but you know how nct members are important to him and how he is important to the members. i really don't know how they felt about this situation... especially every wayv member, mark, haechan, chenle, renjun, taeyong and jungwoo. they all couldn't say anything about it and forced to act like nothing happened. but at least it still makes me happy to see them together and supporting each other no matter what.
though everything has been hard, my baby is so strong. i'm so glad he opens his heart to us and sharing hard times he went through. maybe we failed to protect the most loving person, our sunshine but i'm sure he will get over every single bad thing. because he has his fans, his friends, his members... i hope everything will be better for him. he deserves the world. we still love you like the first day our little giant baby. i want to see you smiling brightly again. we care about you a lot, darling. we love you wong yukhei. and i'm looking forward to seeing your new activities! fighting my man!
and one more thing... AAAAY YOOO LUCAS HAS COME BACK TO ATE THE INDUSTRY LIKE HE DID BEFORE BITCHES AND HE IS SO FREAKING GOOD WITH LONG HAIR WHAT THE HAECCKKK OAHH MY GODFD
#lucas#wong yukhei#yukhei#lucas wong#wong lucas#xuxi#huang xuxi#nct#nct dream#nct 127#nct u#wayv#nct dojaejung#superm#super m#nct lucas#wayv lucas#superm lucas#nctzen#wayvzen#czennie#dreamies#wayzenni#smrookies
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The FSM Family is like, BEYOND inherently tragic and heartbreaking...
The FSM was said to be born from the ashes of the Oni/Dragon War, and his whole childhood, possibly even further along the road, he was pursued by Oni and Dragon (well for all we know the Dragons stopped after he left the First Realm, but the Oni were still desperate.) He could never escape suffering, he's fought so many battles in his youth that it hardened him, almost as if it stripped him of all emotion and joy.
The FSM had a son, and another son. Both were forced to bear the pain of a father whose gone through so much its made him a terrible man.
Garmadon, his first son, was bitten at a young age by a serpent created (Idk if the Overlord created her but I decided he did) by the incarnation of evil, which brought his darkness to slowly overwhelm him. For millennia, he fought against it, he held it back. He had a wife, and a son, and he was happy, but the temptations overrid him, and he succumbed to them. He tried to steal the weapons, and in return he was struck down to the Underworld, unable to leave without the power of the weapons. Then, when freed, he continued his dark scheming, and went to a realm wherein he could manifest the ability to wield all of the Golden Weapons. In doing so, he brought himself closer to destiny.
When he got his son back from the Serpentine, he left, because through whatever compelling darkness, he could never truly be good. He left, and eventually, he took the weapons, and eventually he became the Overlord's vessel, and then he was freed, and then his brother turned against him for a period of time, and then he sacrificed himself to save Ninjago, and then he was resurrected as this dark, cold, unfeeling monster. He was only the worst parts of him, and now his son can barely even bear to speak to him! All of this suffering has brought him all too far from his family! The ones he once loved!
Wu... oh Wu... he was the favored, pure son of the FSM. The FSM was awful to both sons, but Wu was certainly favored (as evidenced by Garmadon's line in the Pilots which flatout said Wu was always FSM's favorite, and season 8 telling us that FSM kept a lot of shit from Garmadon and he told it to Wu instead.) Wu was from a young age, just constantly being betrayed and abandoned. Betrayed by a serpent he befriended, betrayed by two brothers which he clearly cared about, abandoned by the odd child he took in, and betrayed AND abandoned by his own brother! He spent a couple decades alone, no family, probably no friends either. His brother was gone, he was alone, he knew his brother wouldn't be gone for good, but that didn't stop it from hurting. Additionally, he had the weight on his shoulders of the Green Ninja Prophecy, and the fear of the chance maybe HE was supposed to be the Green Ninja at one point (Book of Spinjitzu,) as well as knowledge of a catastrophic, world-destroying event known which would cause all the realms to come together, and eventually they'd be destroyed!!
Now Lloyd... he was robbed of his childhood and molded into a destiny he didn't deserve. He lost his father, he was possessed by his uncle's former student/Green Ninja wannabe, he lost his uncle in a magic Time Vortex, he fell for a girl, and she was the secret leader of a biker gang/cult which wanted to resurrect his father, TO KILL HIM!!! He watches as the girl he liked dies, the building she was on crumbling to the damn ground! He fucking dies fighting the Oni! And he doesn't choose to rest even though he SHOULD rest! He's been through so much... he needs to just rest... AND THEN his best friend is killed, or so he assumes! Because turns out his friend is actually in another realm and he committed genocide at one point and he has to live with that!
Then he's in a magic videogame and oh would you look at that? He watches two of his friends sacrifice themselves to help him, Jay, and Nya win a race! AND the girl he likes is now a digital manifestation feeding on his guilt and pain! YAY!!!! THEN, Nya merges with the sea, and he's devastated, he's broken! He quits, not wanting to be responsible for anyone ever again. Then the girl he likes is revealed to have been resurrected by the Overlord, in a council of villains, and he has to tap into his Oni side, a side he fears due to how he can only see it as his father, someone he's TERRIFIED of becoming! And then he like, loses all his friends for approx 5 years and lives in isolation, and has no clue where any of them could possibly be so. YAY!!!!
#long post#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#raine's rambles#ninjago spoilers#OH THAT WAS SOO MUCH TO WRITE HOLY SHIT#my bday is tmrw btwwww . idk why that matters 2 this post LMAO
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Eddie bringing Ana and Marisol into his house - into his and Christopher's life not knowing how it might badly affect his son in the long run. Especially knowing he's not into those relationships 100%. That's terrible! I thought that was it.
Kim - a lookalike of his dead wife - in his home, is the worst Eddie has ever did. Because he's not just causing Marisol the heartbreak, he's also breaking his son's heart. And that is the worst a parent could ever do to their child. Your home suppose to be your safe space away from the craziness of the outside world and yet, poor Christopher, caught his dad hugging his mom lookalike.
I'm so fucking mad! I don't care much if Eddie is cheating or is just pretending to have a good family with Marisol or with Ana before but that kid has been through so much already and yet, this happened. He didn't deserve this!
I don't know what you are, Diaz! But get a grip, girl! You're making other people miserable and hurt because of your life choices.
No one can fix you. Not even Buck! Do fucking better. Heal yourself and go to therapy.
Seriously, why is it their definition of happiness is to have a romantic partner? Why?
I'm looking at you Eddie. And especially to you, Buck!!!
#i am so mad#i just wanna punch them all lol#evan buckley#oliver stark#eddie diaz#christopher diaz#marisol#ana flores#shannon diaz#kim#buddie#911 abc
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my love, congrats on 100 followers 🥰💖. you deserve this so freaking much and i can’t wait to see what other stuff you create.
i would like to request out of the before the coffee gets cold event: number 13 and drew
thank you sooo much anna <3 you've given such a continuous support to all my stuff, it means the whole world to me 🫶🏻 I hope you like this and it's up to your expectations <3
moonlight on the beach
PAIRING: drew starkey x gn!reader
SUMMARY: you and drew sit next to each other on the beach as you pour your hearts out.
WARNINGS: smoking, toxic ex, heartbreaks, lmk if I have missed something! Ignore any little grammatical/spelling errors please :)
EDITH SPEAKS: first blurb for my celebration! I have already have so many asks for blurbs, I'm so excited to write tham all 🫶🏻🫶🏻 I really don't have any words on how to thank you all the constant support I've been receiving 🥹
PROMPT REQUESTED: "this sounds like you're flirting with me." ". . . I've been doing that for three years now."
100 followers celebration || navigation
You and Drew are sitting next to each other on the beach, sharing a joint. He passes it to you and you take in a long drag before exhaling the smoke. Your eyes close as you feel the smoke roll off your tongue, a satisfied sigh escaping your lips.
Drew looks at you, the moonlight gleaming on your cheekbones and in your eyes, making them shine brighter. The only sound in the background is of the waves crashing on the ocean. The waves occasionally reach up to your feet, leaving them wet as they retract back.
"I wish I could always feel this free," you say, leaning back on your forearms and tilting your head back. The cool breeze causes goosebumps to rise on your bare arms. You're right; your mind has never felt this relaxed before. It was under a constant stress for the past two years, also the years you spent with the most shitty person one can.
Your previous partner made you feel like they love you, but left you so horribly broken inside. You forgot what it felt like to be carefree, or to have an actual smile on your face instead of the fake ones you had been plastering for way too long.
You finally got the courage to leave them, to spit right in their face that they never actually gave two fucks about you. It definitely wasn't pretty, but all the pain you went through at that moment was worth it, because now they're long gone from your life. You're now on the beach with your best friend Drew, sharing a joint, as the waves make soft ripples and the wind blows in your hair.
What else could you want?
Drew saw you get with them, when all he wanted to be was with you. He's been so in love with you for three years, and the heartbreak he felt is indescribable when you told him you have a new partner.
"Drew, I think, I think I've fallen in love." Is what you told him that day when you both were sitting on the hood of his car at the edge of a cliff and were watching the sunset. For a second, he thought you meant him. His heart could've jumped out of his chest at that moment, but when someone else's name left your lips, an unknown name belonging to an unknown face, his heart shattered in a million pieces.
But now that you aren't with them anymore, Drew knows he needs to take the chance of telling you how he actually feels about you before it's too late.
"You look so beautiful," he murmurs, his eyes which aren't able to get enough of you looking at you. You look like the embodiment of tranquility, as peace graces your thoughts and your soul.
You turn your head to look at Drew, his hair ruffling due to the breeze. You give him a little smile and sit up straighter in the sand.
"So, so beautiful," he continues. "I don't think I've ever known someone who's as pretty as you." He says, his voice reduced to mere whispers.
"This sounds like you're flirting with me," You say, giggles escaping your lips as you softly smack his arm. He looks at you with a deadpanned look on his face.
"I've been doing that for three years now," he says, "you're just noticing?" He has always dropped little compliments to you every single day. It doesn't necessarily have to be a day when you've dressed up for some event. Even when you're in your regular pyjamas, he thinks he's never seen you look more gorgeous, because he fell in love with the real you. Your personality, your soul, the way you speak to him so nicely, the way you're always there for him.
You only laugh harder at him. You've always loved him too, but the idea of you being with him never sat right with you, because you were worried you may never work things out. You've never missed a single compliment of his, there's a part of your brain specially dedicated to remembering the compliments he gives you.
You scoot closer to Drew and let your head rest on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in closer to him, his touch relaxing you immediately. You intertwine one of your hands with his, and softly trace circles on the back of his hand.
"Yes, I've noticed Drew, I've always noticed," you whisper.
His eyes shut close as he leans his head on top of yours, and both of you sit next to each other, watching the moonlight reflect on the water.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @ragingsammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3
#drew starkey#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey fic#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey fluff#drew starkey one shot#drew starkey oneshot#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x y/n#written by edith! 🪄#edith's 100 followers celebration! 🪄
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Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.
Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 6 - A Remedy to Cure all Ills
Before I start, let me just say, I'm really happy I'm getting to rewatch the earlier seasons. Of course the next random episode might be literally season 5 or something, but it's great that it hasn't happened yet.
Let's fucking start bitches
Not the wiggly evil fingers just a few seconds in.
Damn boy you got some dirty ass nails, wash your hands.
MORGWEN MY BELOVEDS!!!! Also the way Gwen looked at Morgana after she asked who'd she want the flowers to be from. Girl looked ready to risk it ALL, let me put a screenshot actually.
OUGHHHH the brainrot is real with these two
LIKE??????? GWEN'S THIRSTY (me too)
Alright girls, enough yearning please
Ugh, I hate the little sound the bug made when it dropped from the flower. Butthole clenched in digust.
Oh thank god they DON'T show it literally entering her ear. That would've been so gross.
LETS GO INTROOOOOO
Oh Gwen looks BEAUTIFUL in that yellow color. It does everything for her!!
"She's all but dead, Merlin." JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GAIUS
Most suspicious ruse of all time. "Oh, i have a cure for all ills. And also I know the king's ward is very sick. But anyways, I'll be at the inn :)." Bitch.
"But I'm not worried." me when I lie. Merlin is so bad at lying, jesus fuck
Merlin sits down to stop pacing. Arthur gets up and starts pacing. Two sides of the same coin or whatever.
Underrated Arthur shirt is the purplish one he wears in the scene where he begs Uther n Gaius to hear the strange man out. That color looks good on him. It might be his red shirt but in a weird lighting?? I can't be sure.
I really like when Gaius gets to talk all medical considering how limited the medicine world was at the time. It's really really cool, I love seeing this insight into what was possibly like to be a physician at the time. I don't of this happens much in the show.
Arthur really is so trusting when it comes to his loved ones. Of course he's not at fault, like he said what do they have to lose at this point, honestly I've done the same. It's just. Heartbreaking to notice that trait knowing what comes next.
"Science is knowledge." Merlin is such a nerd, I love him.
Oh, not Gaius and Edwin having a lying competition over here. There's a better term for it, but whatever.
Gwen is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS but girl please that's a fucking sorcerer, go AWAY be SAFE. She's so smart though. Immediately knew something was off. He tries to be all "She may die :(." to get her to be worried and not suspicious, but it literally doesn't work. She leaves the room but not because she thinks he's got Morgana's best interests at heart. She knows something is wrong. She also knows she holds no power. And on the chance that he is right and Morgana dies, she'd never forgive herself.
The fucking lying back and forth between Gaius and Edwin. Like. From the outside, it sounds like a perfectly normal convo. But they both know it isn't. And WE know it isn't 'cause we know Edwin's full of shit.
Interesting how Arthur isn't seated but Uther and Morgana are.
Who the fuck knocks on someone's door, doesn't hear an answer, and then just let's themselves in?? I'm sorry, if you're a stranger, I'm not doing that. The fuck's wrong with you Merlin, you nosy boy??
It is so sickening that these villains of the week have views that we can agree with. Yes, magic is a gift and can be a force for good, you're right! But it's because of Uther and his oppression that they turn bitter and ruthless and vindictive. And yes, you do have to eliminate those who are like Uther because they will only propagate the same corrupted and repressive beliefs. The problem, the layers, is that some of those people are actually very much capable of understanding the very fundamental logic that "Sorcerers deserve too live in freedom" but they're so filled with fear and propaganda of the contrary that it's so hard to get out of it. And that's why, if they killed Uther with magic, Arthur would hate magic even more (just like it happens in canon), which would then just repeat the cycle, etc etc. You need to uproot the system, but killing everybody is not the answer; but also having to teach such a fundamental thing, that certain humans deserve basic rights, is such a painful thing to teach, and the oppressed does not have the obligation to do so. But then the cycle just repeats and repeats and it's SHIT. Anyways.
It's so funny that in season 1 they hadn't figured out the cgi for the golden eyes so they just. simply don't show it.
The things Edwin say are like. Well-meaning. But there's just this off vibe that the most intelligent characters (Gaius, Gwen, Merlin) can just. pick up. And even though Merlin really likes what Edwin is saying, there's just something telling him... it's wrong.
Uther, of course, would never even believe anyone would just lie so blatantly and manipulate him like this because he thinks himself very intelligent; which is why he's falling for everythinggg that Edwin says. But, credit where credit's due, Edwin is an excellent liar.
Gaius wears the most cunty ring on his pinky finger, hello?
I want that ring bro.
Oop, not Gaius having his cowardice and betrayal shoved right in his face. I get it, you wanted safety. But there's consequences to your actions. And I know Gaius feels so guilty about all his friends that died at the stake while he remained safe and sound.
If Gaius would've left in this episode, replaced by Edwin, I bet Morgana would've felt so guilty. In her mind, her illness is what caused him to leave. Gaius truly was there for Morgana and Arthur in ways Uther simply could not.
OOP Gaius and Kilgarrah meeting!!!!!!!! I forgot this happened lmao
Gaius got a little taste of how infuriating the dragon is.
Wait, Gaius was employed for Arthur's birth? That's so interesting. He probably already lived in Camelot but he's been a court physician for 20 years. He was already quite old by then.
It's the way that Gaius is just. Ready to throw his whole life away to make sure Merlin is safe and sound. That's his fucking son, bro!!!
What the actual fuck, they're gonna make me cry :(((( Gaius called Merlin a blessing and his son, I can't.
THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE IM GONNA CRY
Gwen is so iconic, speak the fucking truth girl.
THAT ICONIC GWEN LINE YESSSSSSSSSS QUEENNNN
Not Gaius with his lil blanket and lil fire. He looks so smol, it's so funny.
Edwin could've waited a lil bit before going all murder on Uther. That just looks suspicious as fuck ngl.
GAIUS GETTING BLOWN BACK SHOULD'NT BE SO FUNNY BUT--
I wonder how Arthur knew that his father was ill. It means he went into his room, but why? Did he have some feeling about Edwin? About Gaius leaving? Was it some courtly concern? I'm assuming no one else would have the privilege of seeing Uther at night except for his son and ward so.
Yes, Merlin, just stare at the floating axe that's being controlled by the evil sorcerer right in front of you, you're so smart. Also the slow-mo is so goofy.
It's interesting that they shot both Merlin and Edwin's eyes up-close when they did magic, Merlin to do the golden eye effect, but for Edwin it seems that his pupils just change size. I wonder if not all sorcerers have their eyes glow, if it depends on the magic. Edwin is using dark magic, could it be that? That's interesting, imo. Dark magic equals no golden eyes. Kinda fun.
Violent ass death for Edwin, damn. Axe to head, bitchass
Oh it must be so weird for Merlin to be touching Uther like that. Like that's intimate as shit.
So cuteeee Gaius calling Merlin a genius, they're adorable. He's so proud. That was a feat, though, just pure improv and luck. Merlin is still a noob at controlled magic so this was really damn good.
Love that it's so canon that Gaius potions taste like fucking ASS. Uther's face, lmao.
Interesting that Uther asked if Gaius remembered his friends that burned at the pyre, and Gaius answers "All of them." and Uther doesn't even comment. As bonkers as it sounds, they truly are friends in some capacities. I wonder if Gaius could make Uther change his mind. Not Morgana or Arthur, but Gaius. But he made the choice to abandon magic, Uther presumed because Gaius understood its dangers, but if he were to find out that actually Gaius doesn't agree, I wonder what Uther would think about that. Like a genuine and open convo about it. I think he'd just arrest Gaius for it, but I don't know. I think there's at least some reality where he gives it some more thought. But I don't know if he'd ever repel the ban, more because he'd have to admit that he was wrong, and admitting you're wrong is also accepting and processing all the shit you did for that wrong thing, and I just think Uther is too cowardly to do so. He knows it would break his mind to truly process all the pain and horror he's caused; so no matter his inner philosophies, he'll never repel the ban, because the damage has been done, and he'd rather live like that than start anew in the new reality where he's wrong.
"In the fight against magic, you are the one person I can trust." yet again. Gaius going against this? Uther can't fathom it. He's so confident that Gaius is 100% on his side.
Arthur smiling at Gaius, awww.
Two pretty bestfriends. No wonder half the kingdom wants to fuck them both. Also what the fuck is a "freeman"??? Genuinely, what is it??
And that is it. Loved it, of course.
#bbc merlin#merlin#guinevere#arthur pendragon#morgana pendragon#gaius#uther pendragon#hey look i posted a thing#Merlin Random Rewatch#lots of interesting thoughts abt gaius n uther#lots of gwen i feel like#not a lot of arthur in this ep he has like. two scenes with a few lines of dialogue and thats it
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all i need to hear - bucky barnes x reader
'Cause it all means nothing, my dear
If I can't be holding you near
So tell me you love me,
'Cause that's all that I need to hear
- all i need to hear by the 1975
Plot: A few months ago, Bucky broke up with Y/N, and he’s regretted it ever since. All he wants to do is tell her the truth about how he feels...if he can only work up the courage to.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of a break up if that makes you sad, a few mentions of Bucky’s past as the winter soldier (but nothing too graphic), and the anxiety he has afterwards. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know!
Notes: I’ve had The 1975′s new album on repeat ever since it came out, and this is one of my fave songs from it, so I just had to write something for it. Not beta’d, so any and all mistakes are my own.
“Bucky, you’re staring again.” Sam’s voice cuts through Bucky’s thoughts. Bucky huffs.
“I do stare. As you keep telling me, it’s my thing, remember?”
“Okay, but you’ve been staring at Y/N for what feels like at least an hour now.” This time, Bucky doesn’t have a witty comeback for that. Because he knows it’s true. Noticing his lack of response, Sam’s face softens. “You really miss her, don’t you?” He does. He misses her so badly it hurts every part of him. This isn’t heartbreak anymore. It’s a full-blown aching, one that consumes his every waking moment. Sam doesn’t even need an answer. He can tell right away. “You know you could just tell her how you feel, right?” Bucky glances over at Y/N again, watching as she laughs with Sharon. She looks so happy. Bucky thought, hoped that she was missing him too. But she seems so happy without him. Maybe he doesn’t matter to her anymore. He wouldn’t blame her for that, though.
Things between them both started off so well. Then again, they always do. They were happy, and so in love. But Bucky just had to fuck everything up, just like usual. After everything that he did as the Winter Soldier, with so much blood shed because of him, Bucky Barnes convinced himself that he wasn’t deserving of love. Especially not from someone like Y/N. At first, he tried to hide those thoughts and push through, like he’s been doing ever since he escaped from HYDRA. Yet soon, those thoughts began to intensify, and soon they were eating him alive.
“What if she left him after realising just how awful he is? What if someone from his past hurt her? Or worse, what if he lost control again and hurt her?”
So, Bucky broke up with her for her own safety. And he’s regretted it ever since. He wants to apologise to her in the hopes that they can start again. But he can’t. The look on her face as her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled as she tried to keep it together still haunts him to this day. It’s worse than it was with any of his victims. Because this time, he was in control the whole time. He was the one who took the knife and twisted it even deeper. That’s not what a good person does, someone who’s deserving of love. That’s what a monster does. He can’t put her through that pain again. What Bucky needs to do is suffer in silence, like he deserves.
Suddenly, Y/N looks over and catches Bucky staring. For a second, the tiniest flicker of a smile crosses her lips, and Bucky feels himself smiling too. For a moment, it’s as if things between them are back to normal, and that nothing ever happened. Once more, they’re in love, and happy again. That smile, the one he loves more than anything in the world, fills Bucky with an overwhelming desire to get up, walk over to Y/N and kiss her all over, just like he used to. A desire that fills his entire being. Yet, just as he’s about to get up, Y/N’s face falls and she looks away. That look tells him everything he needs to know about how she feels about him. Bucky suddenly feels a pit open up in the depths of his stomach. One that he wishes would swallow him whole. With one last look at Y/N, Bucky’s gaze shifts to his lap, and he fiddles with his fingers.
“No. I can’t.” He mumbles sadly.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A few days later, Bucky stands outside Y/N’s apartment, willing himself to knock. He holds the letter in his hands, running his non-metal hand along the edge of the paper. Inside is a complete explanation of why he broke up with her, an apology, and an admission that he still loves her. In fact, he never stopped loving her, not once. He’s written and rewritten it countless times, and even now, he’s not sure it makes any sense. It’s too late now though. Although he can already feel the familiar pit forming in his stomach by the minute, and he considers just dropping the letter at her door and running away. “No. I said I’d make amends, and here I am.” Of course, when his therapist told him to make amends, she meant everyone he hurt as the Winter Soldier. But Bucky hurt Y/N deeply too, and she deserves to read the truth, if even just for closure.
That is, if he can work up the courage to knock on her fucking door. As he lightly raps the door, Bucky’s stomach churns whilst he thinks of her potential reaction. Either she starts crying and tells him to fuck off, or she punches him and then tells him to fuck off. He would deserve it, though. Of course, Bucky wants more than anything for her to tell him that she feels the same about him, and then they’ll be together again. That’s how things would go in an ideal world, the kind romanticised in fairytales and romcoms. But Bucky Barnes’ life has never been like that, and he knows there’s no way it’ll start now. He’s not the hero, he’s the villain.
The door opens, and Y/N and Bucky are soon face to face again. Bucky feels his breath hitch in his throat. She’s still so beautiful. “Oh. It’s you.” Y/N mumbles. Even though he knows she has every right to, Bucky hates how disappointed she sounds at the sight of him. “What is it?”
“Um, hi! This is for you.” Bucky announces, passing over the letter. He swears he almost has a paper cut from the amount of times he’s been fidgeting with it. “You don’t have to read it now…or ever. It’s just an explanation for everything.”
“Thanks.” The air around them is suddenly even more awkward, something Bucky didn’t even think was possible. It makes him feel even more guilty. Only a few months ago, they could talk for hours and hours without getting bored with each other. And now, because of him, they’ll never be like that again.
“Y/N listen, I just want to say that-”
“What, Bucky? What do you want? You break up with me out of nowhere, give me complete radio silence, and now you’re here, weeks later?” She snaps. Her words sting, but Bucky knows he deserves them.
“I know. I have no right to be here, not now, or ever.” He agrees, his voice hitching as he feels a lump growing in his throat. “My letter explains it more, but even if you don’t read it, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you. And…I understand if you never want to speak to me again.” As Y/N digests his words, her brows furrowing, Bucky can tell he’s about to start crying. Guilt fills his veins all over again. As he turns to go, he hesitates for a moment, before saying the one thing that’s been on his mind ever since the breakup. “For what it’s worth, I never stopped loving you, not even once. I regret what I did to you every day. I know it’s not an excuse, but please don’t ever think it was your fault, or that it was because I stopped caring for you.”
“Bucky-”
“No. It’s okay.” He lies, cutting her off. “I just needed to tell you. Don’t worry, I’ll go.” Once he’s out of ear and eyeshot around the corner, Bucky hisses as the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs, even though he knows nobody can hear him. “I’m sorry.”
Later that night, Bucky sits alone in his apartment, just as he does every other night since he and Y/N broke up. It seems as if he’s destined to be alone forever now. It hurts, but that's what he deserves. Soft music plays from his record player, some old 40s music. Y/N used to love dancing to that kind of music…even though she thought it was old-fashioned. Bucky feels his stomach twisting again as more happy memories with Y/N fill his mind again. He’s the worst person in the world.
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. When Bucky opens it, he’s surprised to see Y/N there. Her eyes are red from crying. Before he can even say anything, Y/N says: “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right? A complete, and utter, fucking asshole.” Although her words sting, Bucky knows he deserves them. “That was for not even talking to me about how you were feeling, and just letting me suffer in silence.” Bucky nods, still slightly dazed by her standing in front of him. “Sorry though.”
“No, no. I deserved that.”
“I know I can’t even begin to imagine the things you’ve gone through, but fuck, Bucky, if you’d have just talked to me, I would’ve helped you work through your fears! You didn’t have to suffer in silence. I love you, and as your girlfriend, I was there to help you!” Her choice of words makes Bucky’s eyebrows raise.
“Love? As in…present tense?” He mumbles.
“Well, yeah, I still love you. I didn’t stop either.” She admits. “I missed you dearly, Bucky, and I’m glad you gave me an explanation for why you did it. But that does not negate everything that happened. And it definitely doesn’t mean that everything is immediately okay between us, or that I’ve completely forgiven you.” Bucky nods. Yet, he can feel his heart rate increasing. She still loves him, despite everything that happened. Maybe he has a chance to make things right again. “Can we maybe grab a drink next week? Just for a chat.”
“Absolutely. We can take things as slow as you want.” She manages to crack a small smile at that, and Bucky feels one of his own growing too.
It’ll take a while, but maybe things will turn out okay after all.
~*~*~*~*~*~
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#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#Bucky Barnes x female reader#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x Female Reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes fic#marvel fanfiction#marvel fanfic#marvel oneshot
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okay ACTUAL doctor who thoughts. 73 yards was really really good but. isnt it haunting that ruby's theme song, the one that played for her here and the one that's been playing for her, is a song she wrote for someone else? her actor's incredible but god. nothing says "i feel like a background character in my own life" like your theme song being about someone else's heartbreak with someone else.
(spoilers for 73 yards ahead!)
except maybe "i am standing 73 yards away from everyone, blurry, and they all pretend not to see me cause if they actually talk to me they despise me." im very much on team Ruby Seems To Have Some Power To Manifest Stories Into Reality. she makes snow appear when she thinks of her birthday. she connects like crazy, as the doctor said, to stuff happening around her. does that connect to kate talking about people inventing spirituality to process the impossibilities they're seeing? i think so.
for some reason, anomalous or not, her perception of herself seems to really, truly be influencing things. it's like she's a literal in-universe Themes Anchor. in a season where the background music is sometimes diegetic and multiple characters have winked at the camera, it makes sense that the parallels here aren't Just themes. i wouldnt be surprised if Themes is some kinda actual force happening via ruby sunday.
saw someone point out the connection between superstition being invoked at the edge of the universe and superstition being all over this episode. doctor who's relationship to its own reality is changing, and it's very exciting to see! things are weird and that rocks. i hope ruby's fucked up. i hope that singer friend she has that made me blush like a lightbulb is also fucked up and we get an episode about her.
other observations:
- the actress playing ruby's mother deserves a billion medals and the world for her range. her character keeps getting into situations and she sells all of them PERFECTLY. she can go from sunny and warm to ice cold on a dime. she's so excellent.
- 73 is the "most random number" in online lore from what ive seen. its the number you make up when its time to make up a number. more evidence that even that distance is arbitrary and part of ruby's conceptualization of things?
- RUBY KNOWS ABOUT THE SUSAN TWIST THING....
- this episode was scarier and better than boom and im so happy we're not past the horrors. this one's going to linger with me for a long time
- i still wish ruby had a gun, though.
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f you for ruining barcelona for me - Aitana Bonmatí x Reader - Part 2
A/n: here's the link to part 1 - Secret Love Song + here is the anger that follows the heartbreak
Barcelona was the first place where you had ever fallen in love, right up until the day you left, needing to escape the ghosts of the past. The nature of the secret relationship, hiding from the world, it ruined a lot of things for you, even in the sweet moments, you two were so desperate to hide.
You couldn’t watch certain tv shows because you’d watched them with her in a blanket fort in her home or your former one. Certain songs made you grimace because you’d danced the night away with her in your kitchen or hers. You almost cried at the movie being shown on the plane because it was one you’d watched alone, on an evening that she had something more important to do.
You hid out in England with a few acquaintances you’d met during international duty, having been called up for some friendlies after showing your skills at Barcelona had grown. Nobody knew you’d gone from fuelling yourself with desperation for Aitana’s attention, to fuelling yourself with anger, because you deserved better.
You were hiding out in England when the summer transfer window opened, and your free transfer to Wolfsburg was announced. You’d become a free agent when choosing not to renew with Barcelona, much to the team’s disappointment as time ran out for your renewal to be announced like they were hoping. Only Jana, Mapi and Ingrid knew you weren’t going to stay, eventually the captains found out too, but nobody really knew you had left Barcelona at first.
Until you posted on your stories, a mirror selfie with a chosen audio that left Aitana’s skin crawling, and nearly everyone else who saw it confused. Jana replied to the story saying she missed you, whilst Mapi spotted the new tattoo you’d gotten, then enquired about the music, and the lyrics on the screen with the selfie.
‘I heard you’re better off and you’re doing fine, I heard that you’re in love, good fucking try. Did it even hurt, ‘cause you didn’t cry, I know we said forever but I guess we lied…’ the music sampling another of the artist’s that Aitana had heard before, playing in your home back in Barcelona. She hoped you weren’t calling her out, but then your farewell to Barcelona post came up on her Instagram feed.
‘Barcelona, the city and the club, it’s time for me to say farewell. You have been with me since the start and watched me grow as a player, and as a person. But it’s time for me to move on, the city is haunted with ghosts, but I will never forget anyone, you all taught me so much. You taught me what I really deserve, and I will take that with me in my next adventure. Barcelona, you saw me fall in love, but you also saw my heartbreak, and how I lost myself. I am finding myself again, and I know what I deserve. Wolfsburg, you will not know what is going to hit you, but first up is the World Cup. Te amo, Barcelona siempre<3’
You weren’t exactly subtle with your farewell message, a mix of sadness and passive aggressiveness that made it clear that you were nursing a heartbreak, and it was because of that, that you decided to leave.
The post was from days ago, but somehow she had only just seen it now, spotting that you had posted something onto your story too, from hours ago. She almost smiled as the video showed you singing along to a song on the radio, before realising what the song was, making her heart ache. ‘You made me hate this city!’ your voice echoed in her ears, making her close instagram and wipe away the tears. She had convinced herself you deserved better, better than her.
It didn’t help that your leaving had become gossip around the Barcelona team, wondering what the hell had happened to drive you to leave, or in some cases, who the hell had driven you to want to leave, because they all thought you would stay.
None of them knew you were in a relationship, but Mapi and Ingrid admitted they both thought you had something going on. Jana knew the truth, even though you had never told her who it was, she figured it out.
“I was there. She would cancel plans on them, string them along, refuse to be seen together in public, even in a cinema in the dark! They smiled less, just wanting her to look at them during training, to celebrate their goals together, but my best friend was not a priority to her, not like her career. She made my best friend her dirty little secret, then walked away! She ruined Barcelona for them!” Jana didn’t mean to rant, going from calm to angry too quickly, but the song playing over the stereo didn’t help, knowing the song had been one you had listened to in the car to the airport. Crash and Burn by Maggie Lindemann.
“When-”
“Día de San Valentín.” Jana sighed, feeling tears prickle in her eyes but she ignored them in favour of her phone buzzing with a message from you.
“Where are they now?” Irene enquired, knowing that you were definitely not in Spain after seeing some videos of you hanging out in England with some WSL players, then some photos of you exploring Germany with some of your new teammates.
“Waiting on a plane for the World Cup.” Jana replied, sending you a reply for a safe trip, even if that was in the hands of the plane and the pilot, more than yourself.
“You mentioned training and goals… someone on the team? And none of us noticed?”
Jana caught Aitana’s gaze for a moment, but she didn’t drop Aitana in it and tell them everything she knew.
“So desperate to hide, my best friend hid everything, but they wore their heart on their sleeve, before it was ripped out when she walked away on Día de San Valentín… it was bad, but they loved her, so they never talked shit about her, even if it was deserved. You were a terrible girlfriend, you ruined Barcelona for them, and you ruined love too.” Jana’s voice was quiet, but stern, not realising she was holding Aitana’s gaze for a little too long, until Mapi was frowning, and Ingrid turned to see if Mapi was thinking what she was thinking.
“Wait a second-” Mapi was about to call out what she saw, but her phone lit up with a notification of your close friend stories, where there were several recent updates, including a close-up selfie of you at the airport, sat at the gate waiting, and looking half asleep as you stuck up a peace sign.
Another photo showed one of your national teammates curled up asleep in the uncomfortable airport chair, then you had a video of the view of the tarmac, with a fragment of your reflection in the glass, headphones in and a song attached to the video. Fletcher’s ‘fuck you for ruining new york city for me’ but you had added a note ‘*barcelona’.
Clearly you were still healing…
#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso imagines#aitana bonmati x reader#barcelona femeni x reader#aitana bonmati imagine#aitana bonmati imagines#barcelona femeni imagine#barcelona femeni imagines
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consequences of monaco | leclerc | 2
summary: can we even be fixed?
warnings: cheating, swearing, alcohol, those weird monaco rumors
part 1 part 3 part 4
word count: 2.1 k (i am in pain btw) | ⚔︎ ANGST
→
running out of that motorhome in a full sprint the last thing on your mind was the other people passing by in the paddock. knowing exactly what you looked like to them and also knowing exactly how bad it looked for charles yet you didn’t stop your feet instead you only picked up against the asphalt. you knew the media were gonna have a field day at the sight of the mascara pouring down in waves as you made your break for the parking lot. if you thought hard enough you could imagine the scandalous headlines now.
"longtime bff of scuderia driver in tears after p4 finish" or maybe even
"heartbreak in monaco? did leclerc finally cut her off?”
the media was not known for being sympathetic to your cause. they thrived in any way to initiate a witch hunt against you if even a toe stepped out of a PR-perfected box of the doting best friend. it seemed that even in your purest intentions you were still left with mountains of hate by people who didn't even know you or want to know you for that matter. the videos of you weaving between reporters giving driver interviews would create the start of a twitter speculation firestorm of what could have gone down in the short span of ten minutes to cause charles walking into the home to you sprinting out.
you had to pull yourself together, you had to breathe, and most importantly you had to get the fuck out of monaco. there weren't many places you could escape from the world at, but you did know where a certain french driver kept his spare keys so in the mess of your mind you knew the only obvious option was waiting for you in milan.
-
as you sat on a plane wallowing in your own self pity, licking your wounds, watching as the clouds raced by charles himself did not look much better. the room felt so much smaller and maybe even weirdly colder without your energy. his face staying hidden in his hands as he sat on the very same couch as you did earlier waiting for him to come back from his ruined race.
he couldn’t explain why he said those hurtful words or why he pushed you away like he did. coming to terms with your distancing relationship was as hard for him as it was for you, but it was easier to distract himself in other ways, other projects. even when he held all the power in the duo he wasn’t quite sure how to make it all easier. he would be completely stupid if he didn’t realize the way you looked at him. but he would also be completely stupid if he acted upon the irrational thoughts in his brain. which he had had often when it came to you. what if he loved you? he didn’t know if he loved you as you did him but he did know he couldn’t live without you in his life. the only aspect of his very public life that he was entirely too selfish with was you. he knew deep down that if you asked him to give up on whatever the two of you shared so you could move on to someone else, someone who deserved to love you, he couldn’t do it. he needed to be the shining pillar in your life there was no sharing option in his jealous-filled eyes but one thought took up every inch of his mind as he stared at the white-knuckled balled-up fist in his lap.
can we even be fixed?
⏤
milan - 6 hrs later
getting into pierre’s house was a little too easy. you would think that someone that made the amount of money he made that he would invest in some type of security other than a building that didnt even check your ID. in fact you didn’t even have to even go as far as to look for the key he kept under an eiffel tower floor matt that sat in front of his bachelor pad. as soon as you walked into the building the receptionist even looked at you strangely eyes scanning your frame also probably wondering how you managed to get in here, but thankfully she didn’t exactly ask that question because you weren’t sure if you could even tell her.
“do you need help?” it was almost ironic because yes, you needed a lot of it, switching from one foot to another to show your hesitation you nodded. “I’m a friend of pierre gasly’s?”
“gasly’s? one second”
where she went behind her posh little desk in the middle of the glass building you had no clue, all you knew is that it felt like it took forever for her to come back and when she did she was carrying a key.
“sorry for the wait he's kind hard guy to get ahold of” at the mention of the driver it was almost like clockwork for your phone to go off, speak of the french devil and he shall answer you suppose. the text sound blaring as you swap possession of the keys before getting a chance to even look at it.
don’t do anything i wouldn’t do ma colobmbe
if you weren’t so numb to your emotions you probably would’ve laughed at the dumb nickname he has called you since you were kids. the memory of you hitting a bird in your bright pink kart came rushing back pairing itself in the form of a smile as you knew you could always count on him to make you feel better.
walking into his flat, the smell of pierre's cologne almost made you audibly sigh but they also came along with thoughts that maybe you should’ve waited for him and asked him to run away with you. you knew if anyone would hold you and let you cry it out it was him. he wouldn’t even have to ask questions he would just know how to make it all stop hurting, but instead, you were alone in his empty apartment sitting now on his cloud-like gray-clad couch. the same one you helped him pick out when he got this apartment. once again you couldn’t help your wandering brain at the newfound comfort. some part of you wondered what charles was doing right now. was he sorry? was he out celebrating that he was finally free from you? did he mean everything that was said? eventually, the thoughts felt like they were eating you alive almost to the point where you knew you had to find out about his whereabouts. finding yourself instinctively clicking the blue app on your phone you were sucked into the whirlwind of rumors that was the world of formula 1.
“mexican driver cheats on his wife on party boat??”
“ricciardo married with a lil ricciardo on the way? read all about the wedding HERE”
“ferrari drivers single after fight in monaco club”
now that one caught your attention, automatically hovering over the expand button you found your eyes skimming over the different translations of the night. your name showing up often as you continued to scroll through the night. i mean it was no surprise after your temper tantrum earlier in the afternoon to be the topic of the thread. it read about how charles broke up with his girlfriend after she asked why you were crying in a very, heavily packed night club. next it read how carlos’ girlfriend joined in and it just turned into a big mess of conspiracies after that as respective fans put their two cents in. none of it really made any sense.
why would he fight with her about you? he showed all too well how much he didn’t give a fuck about what happened to you when he made you leave. out of pure frustration, you found yourself throwing that very same device you were hypnotized by flung into the nearby wall body sinking into the couch as the satisfying sound of it bouncing against the drywall was the last sound in the apartment for the night.
buZz brrrr
buZZZ brrr
the next sound in the dark italian apartment was this brutal buzzing sound waking you out of slumber.
god, your head was pounding.
BUZZ BRRRR
the sound only got louder as you stood up finally seeing the bright slightly shattered screen on the hard tiled floor from your spot in front of the couch. now you knew you shouldn’t answer. you saw perfectly well who was calling. you knew the karting photo like the back of your own hand but now in the eerie darkness, it was almost mocking you as you raised it to your ear.
“ROSE” the slur that came out above the blasting club music made you scrunch your nose in disgust at how drunk he sounded.
“talk and talk fast perceval”
“come onnnnn why can’t you just come bac-" the most unattractive hiccup broke up his sentence as he continued with his rant. "please come home I mis- im sorrrrry okay"
“I’m hanging up rig-“
“I love you rose” oof- there went the gut punch again. when did he get so good at knocking all the air out of your lungs? did he have some weird pain kink when it came to you, was he enjoying this? the desperation in his drunk voice was begging you to forgive him but once again you found yourself beating up your own mental psyche over your next steps. instead of making you sentimental and giddy, his words made you furious. this wasn't how you treated someone you loved, someone you cared about, the next words came out white-hot and like a faucet as they oozed out of your mouth.
“I really wished I believed you charles. I wish I could believe what comes out of your drunk mouth. you don’t know what love is and I’m sorry for trying to make you be something you aren’t just so I could keep you for even a second longer. I’ll never forgive myself for loving you”
“rose wait-“
the line disconnected as once again you found yourself crying sobbing mess because of your best friend breaking your heart off into its final piece. fingers moving fast against the keyboard you sent one final message before this time taking the time to turn off the device knowing you couldn't withstand the flurry of calls or text that would come next.
“please come home”
⏤
the arms around you were so warm, even familiar, that you sunk right into them, your face automatically finding the soft part of the stranger's neck. firm fingers wrapped around your thighs and back squeezing you tight against a chest as you wiggled in your sleep drunk state. those same arms left you as quick as they came as you were placed into a soft bed, instead of letting them go though, you cling harder to the warm body.
“ma colobmbe let go”
knowing only one person in the world who would dare call you that stupid nickname you suddenly realize why the stranger wasn’t such a stranger. the ocean blue eyes and messy hair were such a sight for sore eyes as somehow you cling even harder around the neck of your friend fingers digging into his tanned skin.
“tell me what to do, i’ll do anything to make it better”
without even thinking about the consequences of your own actions you surprised even yourself as your lips crashed into matching ones. you didn’t expect him to even kiss you back, actually, you don’t even think you expected anything at all from him. you definitely however did not expect him to kiss you back harder. the pair became heated quickly as both of you understood you needed anything but soft at that moment. teeth clashed together, bite marks lingered on freshly bruised flesh, and groans filled up silent air. as he finally gave up his pursuit and started attacking down your neck in an aggressive open-mouthed manner it left your mouth open to moan his name in his own ear.
“pierre- we should-“
“don’t ruin this for me” the tone in his thick french accent was anything but playful as his hand reached down between the two of your intertwined bodies snaking its way in between the waistband of your pants and the bright red ferrari shirt you picked out of your dresser just that morning. his actions did their job of shutting you up finding yourself now relaxing while his sweet nothings lured you into pure pleasure. you weren’t sure what the next day would bring but at that moment you decided it was your turn to be selfish. it was your turn to be taken care of.
⏤
ma colombe - my dove/pigeon in french I THINK
slightly happy ending?? slutty pierre strikes again thanks for all the love on curse of monaco i appreciate all the kind messages!
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#pierre gasly x reader#f1 drabble#f1 fanfic#formula one x reader#f1 one shot#f1 x oc#driver x reader#pierre gasly#charles x reader#charles leclerc x reader#leclerc imagine#f1 x you#PART 2#📗#monaco series!
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HQ boys as Love Songs
a/n: Uhhhhhh hi so I made this and I wanted to include some of my favorite artist. I thought why not do one of theses with artist other than most of ones ive seen. If you haven’t heard some of these songs and artist nows a chance to enjoy some new music. Please enjoy the music links I’ve made for you and let me know if you want more
Bokuto Yebba’s Heartbreak by Drake/Yebba
“And all the times you wasn't chosen, well, I'll make it up to you
All of the feelings you're not showing
When your river's overflowing, mmm”
Bokuto falls in love with you the moment he meets you. He knows people talk about how love at first sight isn’t real but all he can think about when he sees you is how he wants to have you in his life forever.Bokuto knows you can handle things on your own but he wants to shelter you through any storm that comes. You have his heart and if there's ever a time when you feel overwhelmed or that everything is just too much Bokuto will always be there to wipe away every tear that may drop. He loves you too deeply to ever watch you fall.
Kita Picture Perfect by Jhene Aiko
“Too perfect of a thing
Too a perfect, you're a dream
Too good to touch
Too good, too much
Much too perfect to be reality”
Loving you feels like a dream, it’s so calm and blissful and Kita can’t help but to catch himself randomly smiling at the thought of you. You have him under a spell. He finds himself daydreaming of you any moment he gets. Getting to see your smile makes Kita’s heart skip a beat. In any reality or dimension Kita knows he’d fall in love with you each and every time. The words fall past his lips so easily. He’s like a kid who has found an endless supply of candy. He feels himself blushing and getting shy at the mere thought of you. You are the soft melodic feeling that Kita has been waiting for and he never wants to lose the feeling
Suna Frozen by Sabrina Claudio
“Cover the window and come uncover me
Let's forget the world even exists
Cause nothing compares to this”
Suna feels like his heart might jump out of his chest. He’s never felt like this over someone. The way your skin feels against his and the way your breathing has calmed he can tell you are asleep. He refuses to move for the fear that he may disturb you. You look so beautiful like this. The world seems to fade away and all that's left is you. There’s your tank top that keeps falling off your shoulder. There’s the blanket that covers the two of you. There you snoring ever so softly but it's the cutest thing Suna has ever seen. And there’s him. There’s Suna laying with you holding your head against his chest and wondering what he did to deserve you. Suna isn’t sure and he’s not sure if he’ll ever know. All he can think right now is how he never wants this moment to end.
Ushijima Everything by Kehlani
“Love the way you teach me
Love the way you listen
You know all my details
You so damn attentive”
Ushijima feels so shy around you. His tall and strict demeanor crumbles whenever you’re around. You know so much about him and he is the same. He can’t help but pay such close attention to you. From your favorite color to your favorite book he knows all of it. He likes to keep track of all these things so that he can gift you with your favorite things to show you his love. He’s not great with his words but he is a giver. He’s so good at listening to you. He pays attention and is thoughtful. He’s a man of very little words but his actions speak a thousand words within themself.
Sakusa Find someone like you by Snoh Aalegra
“Nothing's ever perfect but you're perfect to me (uh huh)
And fuck bein' asleep, you're a dream, I need you
Though we got a past, I want you, yeah
And even when it's bad, I love you”
Sakusa knows he can be a bit difficult to be with. He knows he’s a lot to handle yet somehow you love him through it all. He’s never loved someone so deeply. With you everything feels different. He feel like he’s floating on cloud nine with you around. You’re so sweet and gentle with him and Sakusa can imagine living in a world without you. You’re so perfect to him. He has spent his entire life desiring the feeling of needing something and he’s finally found that in you. Sakusa needs you more than anything in this world. He feels so at peace around you. He can’t believe he’s found someone like you. He can only dream that you feel the same way as him.
#bokuto x reader#kita x reader#suna x reader#ushijima x reader#sakusa x reader#bokuto fluff#kita fluff#suna fluff#ushijima fluff#sakusa fluff#Bokuto Koutarou#kita shinsuke#Suna Rintarou#Ushijima Wakatoshi#sakusa kiyoomi
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