#and of course it is angst that is the deal around these parts <3 sorry not sorry
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Of Oblivious Minds (4)
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore.
Word count: 3k
Warnings: Angst
a/n: Thank you for reading and sorry for the wait!! I hope you enjoy :) Let me know what you think ❤️
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
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You were leaving today, and suddenly—with your bags at your feet and the air around you filled with stagnant silence—a few days seemed so juvenile. So… inconsequential in the grand scheme.
You would leave, and when you returned everything would be the same. Azriel would still love another and you would still be left with the bleak realization that you had spent the last few centuries denying a love that you knew to be fruitless.
Nothing would change if you were to be gone only a few measly days.
But if you were to be gone a month? A year, even?
Much of your work for Rhysand could be done from afar, especially with the library in Day Court. Helion wouldn’t mind; he’d asked you to consider an extended stay in the past. And maybe there could even be something there, something to take your mind off of your true home.
The home that wasn’t Velaris.
You saw him every time you closed your eyes. His rare smiles, his even rarer laughs; you saw the way his watchful eyes skated across every room you entered and reminisced on each twitch of his hands—the way you could feel it against your fingers when you grabbed for him in the busy streets of Velaris.
Azriel was inescapable, even when you battled against your vision and attempted to drift to sleep.
He was everywhere, everything.
But he wouldn’t be in Day Court, and although that wouldn't stop your thoughts, it would be something. It would be distance.
With a flick of your wrist, you sent your bags away to Day Court and heaved in an uncomfortably large breath. You knew he would do little to deny you, but you still needed to ask Rhys. He was your High Lord and employer, above all your friend, and you knew it would take a little persuading.
Maybe tears. Yes, tears were very moving and equally as conjurable at the moment.
It only took one step before the knock on your door left you still. Your shoes made a dent in the carpet and you could hear him breathing on the other side of the ornately carved wood. You could always tell when it was Azriel.
You shifted your weight from one knee to the next, gripping your skirts at the thigh. Azriel knocked again, this time in a faster pattern—more rushed.
You bit into your lip. You hadn’t planned to see him again, not before you left. You would deal with the repercussions of such an act later on, but not now. Not when you had finally gotten your emotions under control for long enough to have a conversation with Rhys.
It made sense to you now why you had repressed this for so long.
The sound of your voice was startling. “Come in.”
The door creaked, but the sound was overpowered by Azriel’s boot clicking against shining marble. The shadowsinger entered before his shadows, but the wisps followed close behind, quickly abandoning their master in favor of darting toward you. They twisted up your legs and elbows, rolling into your hair and dancing along your fingertips.
Something like fear, love, crushing defeat tugged and tugged at your chest.
“Azriel,” you greeted, aiming for a surprised tone and failing. “Have you come to see me off?”
The spymaster didn’t smile. “Rhys sent me. He said you might have a message for him.”
That cauldron-damned meddler. Of course he somehow knew about your reservations. You doubted he knew exactly what you had to say, but you had been dragging your feet all morning and were currently about an hour late for your own departure.
And of course he had sent Azriel of all people.
“Oh! Well, I suppose I could go and—”
“Why is half of your vanity gone?”
You blinked, startled by the words. If Azriel was anything, he was polite and never one to cut someone off. You went to search Azriel’s expression but found him zeroed in on the table pushed into the corner of your room.
“What?” It was all you could think to formulate.
But Azriel was quick to respond. “Almost all of your things are gone. Your perfumes and the pots of cream you keep on the side. You’ve only left the items you don’t use anymore.”
“How do you know—” you cut yourself off this time, ignoring the glaring question that tried to blind you. “Azriel, I’m going away… to Day Court. You know this.”
But Azriel only shook his head, stalking over to the table and yanking the drawer open so harshly it shook the mirror. When he didn’t find what he was looking for, he went to your closet, throwing open the door, shoulders rising and falling with more effort.
“Azriel—”
“You’ve packed too much.” He turned to you, some of his shadows returning to wind around his chest. “You’ve taken most of your clothes.”
“You know I always overpack,” you laughed, but the laugh sounded fake, painful.
You fought the urge to cower under Azriel’s scrutinizing gaze. It was as if he was on fire, as if he was aflame and filled with something that had been pent up for far too long. If someone, anyone, were to look inside of you, they would see the same thing.
Which is why you needed to get far, far away from this situation. Away from him.
But the longer you looked back at him—the longer you tried to slap that easygoing smile on your face—the longer he stared back with the same steady intensity.
“Is something the matter?” you tried.
Azriel’s hand twitched.
That feeling crept along the edges of your ribs once again.
“Is something the matter?” he parroted, jaw so impossibly tight the words came out pinched.
You finally looked away, playing with your fingers. “Yes?”
He started laughing. But it wasn’t the kind of laugh that made you feel light. It didn’t fill you with pride for eliciting such a sound from him, nor did it make you want to laugh in return. It made you feel dark; as Azriel laughed, you wanted to heave the sound back within the depths it flowed from.
“There are several things that are the matter, y/n, but I’d say the most pressing is that you have been avoiding me for weeks. That every moment I’ve tried to spend with you has been promptly evaded and now you’re leaving and you had no intention of saying goodbye.”
“I was going to—”
“Please,” he pleaded, eyes soft yet so achingly desperate. “Don’t lie to me. Not right now.”
The indent in the carpet was becoming permanent; you couldn’t seem to move.
“I’ve been… I’ve been going through a hard time. Leaving seemed like it was the best for me. Just for a little while. Just until I could sort a few things out.”
“For how long?” he asked, voice cracking along the precipice of the last word.
You paused then, staring hard into his eyes. “A while.”
A shaky breath left the shadowsinger, his chest reflecting the sound. He ran a hand into his hair and tugged at the roots, an action you hadn’t seen him do in years. A sickening sort of pity ran through you—a sort of responsibility.
Because Azriel was your friend, and he was going through something, too. You had no idea if his mate reciprocated his feelings. You found it hard to believe that anyone wouldn’t love Azriel, but the conversation you’d overheard last week gave nothing away.
Maybe Azriel hadn’t told her yet because she didn’t love him. And maybe you were being a bad friend by not being there for him.
Tossing your hurt to the side, you took a step forward. Azriel watched the movement, eyes flickering behind you to catch the previous imprint of your feet on the carpet.
“I’m sorry,” you began, resolute. “I’m sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell me. And that you’ve been… having a hard time. I know I’m not leaving at the most opportune time, but you can write to me and I can help you.”
Some of the brokenness on Azriel’s face morphed into confusion. “Help me?”
“With your mate.”
And it was as if Azriel had been shot. He physically recoiled, his right foot coming down to catch him as he fixed his imbalance.
“I know you wanted to keep it private, but I overheard. Azriel—” You swallowed. Hard. “—It’s so wonderful that you’ve found your mate.”
Something was set in motion, and Azriel was shaking his head. His gaze was fixed on you and his eyebrows were pushed together in a painful expression and he just kept shaking his head as your chest caved and it became hard to breathe. Something pulled from within and it felt like your heart was unraveling.
Couldn’t he see how hard this was? How much it took from you just to acknowledge that he was destined for someone else?
The shadowsinger seemed unaware of your inner turmoil, instead taking long steps across the room until he reached you. He leaned down, brought his hands up to your face, and he broke another piece of you as his forehead touched yours.
He was whispering something, words so low even your fae ears couldn’t catch them, but you knew they were fast. Fast and incoherent and you weren’t even able to find their meaning in his expression because his eyes were squeezed so tightly.
“Please, just notice. See it, angel, it’s there.”
Your jaw quivered. He was so close to you. The few words you were able to make out were confusing.
“My oblivious girl. Please.”
“Azriel—”
When he opened his eyes, the world fell off its axis. The fear in your chest—the feeling that had been unraveling you and leaving you weak—alighted. It pulled and pulled but this time it didn’t hurt. It no longer left splinters embedded in your ribs or took the breath from your lungs.
As you looked up at Azriel, it was only soothing and warm and—
Mate. Azriel was your mate.
You pushed back from him, stumbling and catching on the rug as you went toppling down to the floor. There was no pain from the fall; a numbness overtook your body where the warmth once flowed.
“You’re my—Azriel, you—”
There were no endings to the sentences you began. Azriel tried reaching a hand down, but when you wouldn’t take it he joined you on the floor. He sat with you between his legs, bringing you forward until your knees curled against his chest. And then he wrapped you in his arms and then his wings, taking calming breaths as yours ran rampant.
“I am your mate,” he finished for you, so much more soothing than you had ever heard him speak.
“But Elain,” you gasped out, finding solace against his chest. You leaned your forehead against him and relished in the heat.
“What of Elain?” Azriel asked, bringing a hand up against the back of your head.
“You love Elain.”
“I do not love Elain.”
“And Mor?”
“I do not love Mor, either.”
You nodded against him. This would take longer for you to come to terms with later, but only simple answers were getting through to you now. And the bond—the bond—sang as you touched Azriel. The bond didn’t care if you were confused or hurt or disbelieving.
Your mind swam as a new influx of emotions filled you, but there was a distinction to them and you knew they weren’t your own. At first, it was hard to pick through them all; there were so many that they all blended together. There was an obvious tender love, but also a crippling fear that mingled with a darkness you couldn’t place. There was adoration and hopefulness and a sense of peace that lay at the bottom of all else.
But you could tell this peace was new. It wasn’t as deeply ingrained as the others.
Azriel leaned back, craning his neck down to catch your gaze. “Do you feel that?” he asked. When you nodded, he continued. “Those feelings have always belonged to you. All of them. I know there is not a lot of proof of that, and I will spend the rest of my life making up for that, but they have always belonged to you.”
“Have you always felt mine?” you asked, voice sounding unused.
“Since I’ve felt the bond,” he nodded.
“How long have you…”
Azriel sighed, but it wasn’t out of irritation. The bond told you as much. “Months.”
Tears burned at the back of your eyes. “Then why did you never—”
Azriel shushed you as your voice cracked. He ran both hands behind your head and held you steady as his lips pressed to your forehead.
“I didn’t want to lose you.”
Throat still closed, words still choked, you replied, “That is idiotic.”
This time, when Azriel laughed, you felt that pride spark up in your chest. “I know, angel. Gods, do I know that.”
There was a brief pause, a respite to the revelations and emotions in the room. You counted your breaths as you pressed against Azriel, and he ran his hands up and down the length of your spine, chaste kisses pressed to your head as the minutes ticked by.
“Don’t leave.” Azriel broke the silence. “Stay. Please.”
When you didn’t answer, he kept talking.
“You don’t have to love me. I know that is a lot to ask and there are still so many questions left unanswered. But, y/n, I have loved you for a long, long time. I couldn’t bear it if you left. It has been difficult to even function this past week with you avoiding me. If you were to leave—”
“I only avoided you because I thought it wasn’t me,” you interrupted, pulling back once again to meet his gaze. “I thought you didn’t love me and I couldn’t stand it, so I wanted to leave.”
A grim line set into Azriel’s mouth. The desperation returned to his eyes. “We have wasted so much time.”
“I wouldn’t say wasted. Not when you were here. Not when I was still with you.”
“Angel.” The word came out like a plea, and then his lips were on yours. His hands pressed you closer and his mouth was hot against yours and it was everything you’d spent three centuries ignoring. You loved him, gods did you love him, and in this kiss was every proof that he loved you.
You tangled your fingers in his hair, musing the already displaced strands. His wings quivered as you kissed him more, the action sending little pools of light into the bubble he had created. They felt warm against your eyelids, and when you pulled away to see the cause, Azriel moved his attention to your jaw, your cheek, your neck.
“You are my mate,” he affirmed against your skin, low and gravelly. “Mine.”
You pulled his head away, leaning your forehead against his own. “And you are mine.”
“I love you,” he said.
And you couldn’t say it back, not yet. Azriel seemed unperturbed by this and accepted your small smile as a reply, reciprocating it tenfold. His smile shone in the pockets of light created by his wings and his eyes no longer looked sad. It made you want to say it back.
When that guilt flooded you and your mouth parted, there was a tug at the bond instead. You gasped at the feeling, blinking up at Azriel with owlish eyes.
“I’ve wanted to do that for months,” he admitted, smile softening as he ran scarred fingers along your cheeks. “Every time I felt your doubt or fear. I figured I could startle it out of you.”
You rubbed at your chest. “It feels warm. And…” You couldn’t find the words.
“It feels good, angel. This bond was cold and it hurt, but it—it feels good. Like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
A breathy, awestruck laugh escaped you. “You know, I still have to go to Day for the weekend. It’s court-appointed.”
Azriel groaned, burying his face in your neck. “Then I will come with you,” he grumbled, words muffled against your skin.
“You cannot. But you can wait for me to return and I will come right back here.”
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel fanfic#azriel spymaster#acotar fanfiction
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i can't do this anymore
pairings: bucky barnes x y/n reader
summary: You overhear Bucky’s conversation with your friends and assume the worst but you couldn’t have been more wrong.
warnings: ANGSTTT, fluffy ending, mention of marriage, more angst “I’m sorry i can’t help it), miscommunication.
word count: 3665
a/n: I’m in serious need of miscommunication fics (I'm a sucker for angst) so I’d be grateful for any recommendations!! Enjoy <3
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
masterlist
“Buck? Can you pass my clothes?” You had just stepped out of the shower and realised you left your clothes in your room, but Bucky didn’t answer. “Buck?” He still didn’t answer so you wrapped your towel around you and headed through to see the room empty. You begin to get dressed before you hear Sam’s voice from the living room, he wasn’t supposed to be here for another half hour. Every week Bucky and Sam took it in turns to host dinner for the three of you and Sam’s girlfriend, Olivia. This week was yours and Bucky’s turn to host and you were super excited to serve your new recipe. Hearing the voices made you even more excited, but stressed as you still had some cooking to do before they were supposed to be here. You finish getting dressed and apply a little bit of makeup as quickly as you can. These dinners weren’t formal so it didn’t take long to get ready, they were mostly just so Sam and Bucky had some comfort after their missions, especially recently with them having to deal with John Walker. You take one last look in the mirror before heading through, until you hear something that stops you in your step.
“I mean I can’t say I’m surprised.. one look at you two and it’s obvious,” Sam tried to whisper but failed. “how are you gonna do it?” Do what? You were confused what they were talking about, part of was tempted to interrupt but your curiosity took over.
“I don’t know.. It’s just..” Bucky was stuttering which he only did when he was nervous, this really made you worry about what they were talking about. “It’s just she’s different from other girls, you know? And I know we haven’t been together that long but I can’t do it anymore. Do what anymore? “It’s not like I don’t love what we have but I just feel like I need more” More? You couldn’t help but overthink what you were hearing. They were talking about you, you weren't enough for him. I mean sure you’d thought that about yourself so many times but hearing it from the man you truly thought was the love of your life hurt.
“I know what it’s like when you find the one, it’s the best feeling in the world.” You couldn’t see this but Sam had kissed Olivia’s head after his words. “This is gonna be good for you man, I’m happy for you.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to hear anymore, the tears were already fighting their way out. You quietly walk back into your bedroom and try and calm down, you just had to get through tonight, just tonight and then you and Bucky could talk. You were at your happiest with Bucky, you thought Bucky was too but.. you didn’t even want to finish that thought. Bucky’s happiness was the most important thing to you, and if that meant he wasn’t with you anymore you would have to find a way to get through that. No matter how hard it would be for you, you just wanted him to be happy.
You took a few minutes to compose yourself, your eyes were red and a little puffy but not enough for anyone to notice. You hoped anyway. This time when you left your bedroom you made sure to close the door loud enough so they could hear you coming and hopefully change the subject.
“Hey guys, you’re early.” you said as you walked in, Sam and Olivia both stood up to give you a hug as you came in.
“Yeah sorry we were just a couple blocks over and it didn’t make sense going all the way back home just to come out again,” Sam replied with a smile. “Buck said it was okay.”
“Of course it is, you guys are always welcome, you know that!” You were surprisingly good at keeping how you really felt hidden, but with your words you couldn’t help but think you would lose Sam and Olivia as friends when Bucky ended things between you, they were technically Bucky’s friends first but you’d grown to see them as practically family as your relationship grew. You tried to push that thought away, you just had to get through tonight you kept repeating to yourself in your head.
“You okay doll?” Bucky asks as he wraps his arms around you. You plaster on a smile hoping he wouldn’t sense anything being wrong.
“Course! Just need to check on the food.” Normally Bucky’s touch helped you in situations like this but with what you heard his touch was only making you feel worse. You manage to untangle yourself from his arms and head to the kitchen. You notice that the ingredients and glasses were still laying out for the drinks you’d planned to make. “Do you guys want any drinks?”
“Yes please!” Sam and Bucky replied at the same time.
“I’ll help you.” you heard Olivia say through the wall. It only takes a couple seconds before she’s standing next to you in the kitchen. You and Olivia were like best friends, and she’s the reason you and Bucky were together. You had worked together for a few years, you drifted a little when she left that job but it only took one reunion dinner to get your friendship back to normal. That was 2 years ago, and from that night on she had insisted on setting up you and Bucky. It took a while for the meeting to actually happen but once it did you knew he was the one for you. Was. Not anymore.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Olivia asks quietly, she was aware of Bucky’s super soldier hearing and wanted to talk to you alone.
You nodded and forced another smile. “Just a busy week, my boss is still being a dick.”
“Ugh, you deserve so much better than having to work for that guy. He’s a creep.” She said at a normal volume now. “You should send Bucky after him, make him know he can’t treat you like that just cause he’s the boss.” She brings her hands up to put air quotes around ‘boss’, as he’s only technically the boss for the month while your real boss was on vacation.
“I’ll manage.” You tried to play it off, you wouldn’t have Bucky there to help you soon, and you needed to stand up for yourself.
“You know he would do anything for you.”
“You think?”
“Yep. I mean have you seen the way he looks at you?”
“Hmm.” you mumbled. “Here,” You pass her two glasses with drinks in it. “take these and I’ll bring the other two once i’ve checked the food.”
“Okay,” She starts to walk about but turns at the last minute, “It smells good by the way, I can’t wait.”
“Thanks” you laughed as she walked away. She could tell there was something different with you tonight but she couldn’t figure out what was wrong, it felt like it was more than just your boss being a dick.
You tried to take as long as you could checking the food without it being too long that someone would notice. After just under 10 minutes you walk through. “Dinner should only be a little longer.” You pass a glass to Bucky and keep one for yourself, normally you’d sit close to Bucky but tonight you kept your distance, opting for the armchair in the corner. Bucky thought this was weird but he kept it to himself.
“So, what did I miss?” You hoped they would somehow be able to explain away what you heard but your hope didn’t last long as they started to talk about Sam’s plans to get a lizard.
“Sam, we’re not getting a lizard,” Olivia replied, “if you insist on getting a pet why can’t it be a normal one like a cat or a dog.” This only reminded you of the plans you and Bucky made to adopt a cat, this was torture. Everything was reminding you of what you were about to lose.
“I’ll look after it babe, you won’t even have to touch it.” Sam tried pleading.
“And when you’re away on missions?” Olivia argued back playfully.
“Okay, you got me.” You laughed a little at Sam releasing this was one battle he was going to lose. “What about you guys? You still planning on getting a cat?”
Bucky looked at you as Sam asked the question, how were you supposed to answer this when you didn’t even know the answer anymore, luckily Bucky notices the panic on your face and jumps in to answer.”
“Yeah man, we just have to find the time to get to the shelter.”
“See,” He turns his head to his left, staring at his girl, “Y/n let’s Bucky get the pet he wants.” He was only teasing, he knew logically he couldn’t get a lizard but it was fun to pretend.
“Lizards and cats are not the same thing.”
“Y/n/n help me out here please” Sam pleads to you.
“Sorry Sam, I’m on Olivia's side here.” You reply whilst laughing.
“Traitor” he mumbles under his breath making everyone laugh. Bucky noticed it wasn’t your real laugh but he wasn’t sure why. Normally you loved bantering back and forth with them.
You kept on chatting for 20 minutes before the oven timer went off, just in time as Bucky was about to tell an embarrassing story about you.
“Ah! Saved by the bell” you joked.
“Don’t think I won’t forget to tell it after dinner!” Bucky shouts through, and you can’t help but laugh before thinking about it deeper. Was that one of the things he couldn’t do anymore, was he really embarrassed by you?
You tried so hard to push those thoughts away and focus on getting through the dinner, you started plating up the food you were so excited about only an hour before. But you got lost in your thoughts again and picked up the hot tray with your bare hand, burning yourself in the process. “Shit.” The tray fell to the floor, luckily you had already plated everything and you were just moving it to the sink. Bucky rushes through and sees the tray on the ground and you gripping your hand towards your chest.
“What happened?” He comes towards you but you walk back away from him. “What’s wrong?” You could see the worry in his eyes but all you could think about was his words earlier. I can't do it anymore.
“I’m fine, Bucky.” You didn’t mean to but you snapped back at him.
“You’re not fine.” he moves closer and tries to reach for your hand but you pull it closer to you, he notices and steps back. “Y/n?” You don’t say anything. “Look please just run your hand under some cold water at least, please?”
“Can you just take the food through, I’ll be there in a minute.” You tried to hide the shakiness in your voice but he could hear it. This brought him back to the start of your relationship, you both struggled to open up to each other but he thought you had both gotten better at it, which is why he was extra worried.
He nodded, you hated yourself for being the reason he was sad, he didn’t deserve that. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay doll, just know I’m here for you okay?” You nodded but kept your gaze to the floor. He first grabs the tray with his left hand and puts it in the sink then picks up the plates and brings them through, having to make two trips. He doesn’t want to leave you but he wants to give you the space you asked for. You run your hand under the cold tap for a couple of minutes before drying it off and making your way to the table.
“You okay y/n?” Sam asks as you sit down next to Bucky, there were only 4 seats at the table so sitting next to him was your only option. Bucky turns to you, concern filling his eyes, he sends a smile your way and you try to send one back. He went to put his hand on your thigh but you see him stop himself and bring it back to his leg.
“Yeah, all good, just burnt my finger on a tray. How’s the food?”
“It’s amazing as always.” Olivia answers.
“Thanks again for having us over.” Sam adds
“It’s a new recipe, and no need to thank me. You know you are both welcome here anytime.” You reply, happy that they like it.
“Tastes great Doll.” Bucky’s voice was quiet, almost like he was scared to speak, he had a slight smile growing as you turned to him.
“Thank you Bucky.”
The rest of the night went just like that, the four of you spoke about planning a trip to New Orleans, you felt yourself get excited about it but then grounded yourself, reminding yourself that it probably wouldn’t go ahead. Well, it maybe would, you just wouldn’t be there. Sam and Olivia stayed for a couple more hours, they couldn’t stay as late as usual as Olivia had picked up an early shift at work the next day. When they left you saw Sam and Bucky whisper something to each other, but you were too far to hear anything.
Now you and Bucky were alone, it had just been the two of you for 10 minutes and none of you had broken the silence until now.
“Y/n?” Bucky asks quietly, testing the atmosphere. You took the shakiness in his voice as a sign he was angry, when it was really because he was worried about you. You don’t say anything but bring your head up so you could see him. “Can we talk?” Oh god. This was it. He was gonna do it right now. You weren’t ready, you never would be but you couldn’t do this right now.
“Bucky, I’m really tired, could we talk in the morning?” You were desperately hoping he would say yes.
“Yeah..” He stands up and walks towards the bathroom, stopping slightly at you but speeds up again after a moment. “I’m gonna quickly shower then I’ll come to bed.”
“Okay.” Almost a whisper but he heard it.
You go through to your room and get changed, ignoring the mess in the kitchen. That was something you’d worry about tomorrow. You crawled into bed, facing the wall and tried to force the sleep to take over. It doesn’t take long for Bucky to come in next to you, you feel him hesitate but he wraps his arms around you and brings his mouth around to kiss your forehead. “I love you.”
You hoped he’d think you were sleeping, and not know you were pretending. You tried to find comfort in his touch but it only reminded you that this time tomorrow you probably wouldn’t have him wrapped around you. You could feel your eyes growing wetter as you thought about this but you forced yourself to stop before it turned into a full meltdown. That would for sure wake Bucky up. So you sat there in silence, sometimes you could hear a quiet mechanical murmur from Bucky’s arm, and sometimes the one big deep breath he takes every few minutes. By the time morning comes you only got about an hour of sleep, you were exhausted and anxious for what was going to happen today.
“Doll?” he pauses for a minute waiting for an answer, “Are you up?”
“Yeah, I'm up.” You don’t turn around to face him like you normally would, you keep your eyes on the wall.
“I was thinking we could go to your favourite cafe today? The one with the-” You interrupt him and turn around to face him, sitting cross legged.
“It’s okay Bucky.” He’s confused about what you mean so he stays quiet hoping you'll continue which you do. “I heard you talking with Sam and Olivia..” Bucky’s eyes nearly pop out of his head.
“You heard us?” Shit. He wanted it to be a surprise.
“I did. So can you just do it now? Get it over and done with, so we can both move on.”
“What? You want me to do it right now?”
“Yes. Please, just do it.” You knew you were coming across harsh but you needed this torture to end.
“Erm. Okay..” He stood up out of bed and walked over to his dresser, and started to dig through one of his drawers. “This isn’t really how I pictured doing this and I thought you’d be more excited but..” Excited? Why would you be excited over losing him? Once he finds what he was looking for he walks back over and brings himself down to his knees beside the bed.
“Bucky what-”
“My turn to talk doll..” What the hell was happening. “Y/n, you have been the best thing in my life since the very first day I met you. It might sound cliche but you’re the missing piece I always thought I’d never find. I know this might seem fast but..” He pulls a small box from behind his back. Oh my god. He was proposing. What. You wanted to stop him but the words wouldn’t come out, it was like your mouth was glued shut. “.. I don’t think I could ever feel happier than I do right now with you but It would mean the absolute world to me if you-”
“Wait!! Stop!” Bucky’s smile dropped. He’d been scared to ask you but he didnt think rejection was actually a possibility.
“What?” You stood up and started pacing back and forth, panic setting in.
“Oh my god Bucky. Stand up!” He stood up slowly and closed the ring box, the loud click making things even realer. “Bucky, what were you talking about with Sam and Olivia?”
“I thought you heard me? I was telling them I wanted to propose, I want to spend the rest of my time with you. This definitely isn't how I wanted it to go. I’m sorry if I.. I thought you’d want this too.”
“Oh my god Bucky. I am so sorry. I’m so sorry, I messed up.” You were beginning to lose control of your breathing and your eyes were starting to burn, you were still pacing back and forth. “I thought you wanted to end things, I thought you were done with us.”
“What?! Why did you think that?” He had never been so confused in his whole life.
“You told them you wanted more, and.. that I wasn’t like other girls.. and..” The tears had escaped now and it was hard to talk properly. “and you said you couldn’t do this a-anymore.”
“Oh baby.” Bucky walks over to you and pulls you gently to the bed, he sits next to you but keeps one of his arms wrapped around you. “I did say those things but not in the way you think. Did you listen to the rest of what we said?” You shook your head, which only made your growing headache worse. “When I said I wanted more I was talking about marrying you, in case you haven't figured that out by the -I don’t even know if i can call that a proposal- but doll, I want to marry you, I wanted to show you how much I love you and how serious I was about us.” He tries to turn himself slightly so he can see your face properly.
“I was right when I said you aren’t like other girls, I don’t want you to be like anyone else. I want you to be you, my girl. The girl I fell in love with the first day I met you. I’ve been planning to propose for a while but I couldn’t keep it in any longer, that’s what I meant when I said I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t wait any longer to ask you. I love you so much, doll.”
Oh god. You were so embarrassed. You had gotten everything so wrong. “Bucky, I'm so sorry. I didn’t, I don’t want things to end with us. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay baby, really it’s okay. I just wished you’d talked to me about it. You can come to me about anything, you know what right?”
“I do, I promise. I just panicked. I thought I was going to lose you.” Your breathing had started to slow down and you felt like you had control over it again.
“Nope. You’re never getting rid of me. I love you too much for that,” He brought his face down to yours and brushed your noses together before wrapping his arms tightly around you. “And I missed you way too much to ever let go of you again.”
“I love you too, Buck, so much.. but you’re squeezing me.” For the first time since you heard their conversation you had a real smile on your face and you laughed at him holding you so tight. You were happy. Bucky was happy.
“There’s the laugh I missed so much. Oh and,” he pulled away just for a second to look into your eyes, placing each of his hands on your shoulders and with a serious voice spoke again, “don’t for one second think that’s how my real proposal will go, I’m gonna make it special, just like you deserve.” he pulls you into his arms and lays you both down.
“I can’t wait, but before you do that..”
“Mhmm?”
“Can we go to the shelter today? I think it’s about time we got that cat.”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me doll”
Maybe it wasn’t healthy how much yours and Bucky’s happiness relied on each other but for you two it worked. Things were perfect.
#I can’t do this anymore#wwilsonbarness#sebastian stan#bucky x reader#Bucky barnes#marvel#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#buckybarnes x y/n#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes angst#angst#Bucky angst#Bucky barnes fluff#fluff#Bucky fluff#miscommunication trope#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfic#Bucky x y/n#Bucky x y/n reader#Bucky barnes x f!reader
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Not So Secret Santa
javier peña x fem!reader
this is a part of the @pedrostories gift exchange!!
summary : you get the only person you didn't want for your offices secret santa.
warnings/tags : 18+ mdni, enemies/friends to lovers, canon divergence, steve is your boss/close friend, reader and javier have a complicated relationship, reader is insecure, brief mentions of alcohol, porn with plot, smut, light angst, javier and reader fight physically but it's very light with no actual injury, masturbation, semi-public sex, p in v, idk how to properly tag this but javi likes boobs in this so he touches boobs, unprotected sex (don't do this, wrap it this holiday season), use of a makeshift gag, rough yet very loving sex because it's christmas and christmas magic means i can write what i want.
tldr : you and javi have sex in his office and you put his tie in his mouth to shut him up.
word count : 4.4k
✦ : merry christmas @taro-666 !!! i'm your secret santa !!! i hope you're well this holiday season and i hope you enjoy this fic !! i haven't written much peña, despite how much i love him so i hope i did him justice and i hope you have a wonderful holiday <3 <3 (also sorry this is a little late (20 minuetes left before midnight so we're good). i was out with family all day and was only just now able to get to my laptop, i promise i didn't forget about you lmao)
no use of y/n, reader has hair and painted nails & javier sort of half picks her up at one point, nothing else is described besides clothing.
lovely dividers by @saradika-graphics
“Please, Steve, I’ll give you a week's pay.” You lean across his desk, genuine desperation in your voice after an hour of begging.
“Not gonna happen.” He doesn’t even bother looking up from his computer.
“A month.” Your voice is starting to pitch up, something similar to anguish in your tone. Your offer finally gets a reaction out of him as his eyes widen, head tilting up.
“Jesus, you can’t be serious.” He’s examining your expression, trying to determine the sincerity of your claim.
“My entire Christmas bonus.”
“Okay, stop.” He sighs, giving you a sympathetic look. “We’re not allowed to switch.”
“When did you become such a stickler for the rules?” You cross your arms in front of your chest.
“It’s just a secret Santa. He’s our friend, whether you like it or not, you two are close and this shouldn’t be this big of a deal, now go, please, I need to finish up here so I can leave at a reasonable hour.” He loosens his tie as you sigh.
“It’s not just a secret Santa, Steve. It’s an opportunity for him to tell me that I once again didn’t do something right. No matter what I get him, it isn’t going to be good enough.” Even as you’re saying it you can see that he isn’t going to change his mind about this.
“He’s a dick to everybody. That’s inevitable, it just means he’s comfortable with you.” He’s already turning back to his work.
“Please, Steve.”
“No.”
You glare down at him, giving him your angriest look as his gaze tilts back up to meet yours.
When it’s clear that he isn’t going to switch you turn and leave, slamming his office door in the process.
“Don’t forget, I need you here early to help set up for the party!” His muffled voice seeps out into the hall as you walk away.
Once you’re out in your car and far away from prying eyes you unfold the damned slip of paper you’d drawn earlier today.
Javier P.
Of course, you got stuck with fucking Peña, a nickname you’d given him a few months ago. He absolutely hates it but the entire time you’ve worked for the DEA he’s gone out of his way to bother you. Sure, he’s your “friend”, in a strange, complicated way. But he still drives you up the wall with his constant need to one up you and the way he’s constantly making passes at women around the office.
And it’s not like you have any problems with him sleeping around, lord knows you’ve had a fair amount of one night stands, but he just has to hit on every woman you work with.
Every single woman, except you.
You’d never admit it of course but a part of you will always be self conscious about that fact. It doesn’t help that Javier absolutely adores bothering you at every possible moment. He loves nothing more than to pester, annoy, and mock you, spending nearly half his day leaning over your desk despite the million complaints you’ve sent Steve about his persistent partner.
He’ll sit on your desk, doing an endless amount of things to cause you distress. Like crowding you with his cigarette smell and vanilla cologne as he tells you you’re filling papers wrong, or telling you what colors to paint your nails, or solving your cases before you can even get to them, or teasing you about your shitty car. Today he wouldn’t stop bothering you about your weekend plans like he doesn’t already know exactly where you’ll be.
“Are you doing anything this weekend?” He’d asked with that devastating smirk and eyebrow raise combo.
“I have to go buy my secret Santa gift, just like everyone else.” You’d turned away, avoiding eye contact as he scoffed.
“What about Saturday?” He continued to pry, you wanted nothing more than to shove his perfect ass off your desk.
“The Christmas party, Javi. Just like everyone else.” You had sighed, squeezing the bridge of your nose as Emilia had walked past your desk. Javier immediately forgot your entire conversation as he turned to her.
“I love your nails.” He’d pushed his hair out of his face, holding his hand out to take hers, getting a closer look at the well manicured designs.
You had tuned out after that. Not wanting to be involved in the exchange as you went back to typing. Acutely aware of your own nails.
Red chipped paint.
You couldn’t help but wonder what it must be like to be the object of his affection.
It wouldn’t matter if he did hit on you, you would probably reject him anyway.
Probably.
It doesn’t matter, it’s never gonna happen so why let it bother you?
With a sigh you toss the paper into your cup holder, reaching to turn on the radio, maybe some Christmas music will make you feel better. Of course nothing happens as you turn up the volume knob but it makes you want to scream regardless.
Stupid fucking Peña.
Stupid broken radio, stupid shitty car.
“Fuck.” You mumble under your breath as you shift into drive.
Before you know it you’re back in your car in the DEA office parking lot, this time a few things are different though.
You’re dressed nicer, trading your slacks in for a skirt and your dress shirt for a sweater. And of course you now have a small wrapped box in your lap.
Since you had yesterday off for the holiday you spent your Friday at the mall, searching for a gift for Javier. Eventually you had settled on three little things; Nicotine gum, mostly because you’ll get more work done if he isn’t constantly dragging you outside for his smoke breaks. He complains too much about going alone and it’s always been easier not to argue, now he can stay at your desk with his gum. Beard oil, the fancy stuff he always insists on using in his mustache. You’d bought him the wrong kind last year for his birthday and you still haven’t heard the end of it. And a lighter, you had to beg the shop owner to make an exception and do a same day engraving of his birthday.
Jesus.
You know way too much about him.
You arrived two hours early as requested by Steve to help him set up. With the wrapped box tucked under your arm you anxiously tap the patterned wrapping paper with your freshly manicured nails.
“You should paint your nails green, I love green.” He had said through a drag of his cigarette.
Why did you let that idiot's opinions influence this decision? You feel foolish. The green chrome polish shimmering in the street lights in the parking lot as you step into the building. You had extra time while you were waiting for the engraving and you just couldn’t help yourself when the salon was just a few stores away. The image of Javier holding your hand and examining your painted nails while telling you how nice they looked was just too tempting. Maybe he’d even ask if you did it just for him, and you could drag him into a closet at the party, the exact situation you watched unfold last year. Except in that scenario you weren’t the lucky lady he’d run off with that night.
There’s no time to be thinking like that.
You shake off whatever filth you were imagining as you look around the hectic mess of garland and glitter.
Steve is already stressing, setting up tables as you set your gift under the tree before getting to work. The office is already mostly decorated but with his new position as supervisor Steve is insistent that everything be perfect his first Christmas in charge. So you plate food, and you mix drinks exactly as he wants them, and you hold the ladder steady when he insists on putting more lights up. When you’ve got about a half an hour before guests start arriving you’re finishing up and last minute touches, the two of you crowded around a drink tower.
The tension from your conversation yesterday seems to have fizzled out as you become engrossed in your work, when you’ve both finished he gives you an appreciative look.
“Thank you, seriously, it means a lot.” You help him adjust his tie as he straightens out his shirt.
“Anytime, although I’m surprised you didn’t just ask Javier.” You pat his shoulder as you finish, brushing a stray blonde hair out of his eyes.
He laughs, a nervous chuckle that makes you raise an eyebrow but when you open your mouth to comment on it he lets out a relieved sigh as the first of your coworkers arrive.
More people show up than you could have expected.
You stay near Steve for most of the beginning until he gets dragged away by one of the higher ups who had made an appearance, leaving you alone to sip your drink against the back wall. You hum along to a Christmas song that plays loud enough to drown out any conversation you might eavesdrop on to entertain yourself in his absence, your eyes scan the crowds as you try to match up the people you work with with their spouses.
You’re getting ready to find another group to talk to when you catch a glimpse of him standing against the opposite wall, talking to Bonnie, the woman who works in the cubicle next to yours.
Fucking Peña. Dressed in a stupidly tight green dress shirt.
You should leave them alone, especially if he’s trying to make a move on her. But you can’t help it as you make your way around the room towards them, a vague sense of jealousy settling in your stomach.
String lights twinkle across the ceiling of the office, creating a warm ambience throughout the space, just as you’re about to tap him on the shoulder you overhear their conversation.
“I had to beg Steve to switch with me, took an hour of convincing and a week's paycheck but it’ll be worth it to see the look on her face.” His back is to you as he leans in closer to Bonnie.
He’s probably talking about one of the other women from the office. Steve probably had someone Javier was trying to impress and that’s why Steve didn’t want to trade with you, he had already promised his pick to Javier.
Whatever, you can’t be too bothered about that. It does make you want to return to your spot on the other side of the room but you don’t get the chance to as the music is turned down rather suddenly.
One of the secretaries, Benjamin, stands on a chair, making an announcement that it’s time to do the secret Santa. You manage to twist through the crowds so Javier never sees you, finding his gift and bringing it to where he now stands, simultaneously keeping an eye out for your own gift.
You hand him the box, watching the way his face lights up.
“You picked me?” He grins as you nod, carefully peeling back the wrapping paper as you feel a tap on your shoulder. Benjamin waits behind you, leaning in to whisper while you watch Javier open his gift.
“It was short notice so we didn’t have time to get you a back up gift but your secret Santa told us at the last minute that he forgot to get you something, he promised to bring in something after New Years, I’m so sorry.” You feel a little disappointed as he murmurs but it isn’t that big of a deal, it’s a busy time of year and people can forget things.
“No worries, do you know who it was? I’d like to at least tell them it’s fine.” You turn away from Javier as he smiles at the nicotine gum, Benjamin's eyes flicker from your face to Javier’s before he gives you a sympathetic look, walking away.
Javier traded for your name?
As your head tilts to look at him now you can see the smirk he’s now sporting.
“ …but it’ll be worth it to see the look on her face.”
Javier had made a conscious effort to get your name just so he could not get you something.
Huh.
That doesn’t feel great. The look he gets to see on your face is betrayal and then just sadness. You don’t really care what the reason for his decision is, you turn and walk away from him regardless. If he tries to say something to you it’s drowned out by the music that starts once again.
Why are you so upset over some stupid joke? If it had been anyone else you wouldn’t have cared, you’d have brushed it off as a harmless accident but this wasn’t an accident.
Maybe he didn’t really think of you as a friend.
Maybe all of the teasing and one-upmanship really was from a place of animosity and you were just too blind and too infatuated to see it. You want to cry but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction so you sift through the bowl of keys, searching for the Star Wars keychain attached to your lanyard but you can’t find it. The combination of the blaring Christmas songs with the frustration you’re currently feeling only makes you more emotional.
You don’t want to go to the bathrooms where you might run into someone and you can’t go to Steve’s office because he might be talking to his supervisor, so you go to the only place you know there won’t be people.
Javier’s office.
You walk as quickly as you can, slipping inside as you slam the door shut behind you, clicking the lock in place before turning around, resting against the door as you feel tears spilling from your eyes. It isn’t until he clears his throat that your head snaps up.
Today is just not your day.
Did he know you’d come here? How the hell did he beat you here? He’s fidgeting with the lighter you bought him, watching it light and go out as he sits with your keys in his other hand.
Your face feels hot as you take in the sight of him.
“Give me my keys.” You hold your hand out, wiping your eyes with the other as you wait. Of course he doesn’t hand them over, that would be too easy and today is insisting on being difficult.
“I really liked your gift. Seriously, this is… outrageously thoughtful.” He murmurs, seemingly unaware of your mood until he takes a closer look at you, his expression shifting as he realizes your eyes are rimmed with red. “Why are you so upset? What happened?” He slides open a drawer, tossing your keys into his desk while you consider calling a cab.
What a foolish question.
How could he possibly not know?
“I want to leave, I’m sick of this party.” You turn to leave, maybe Steve can drive you home.
“Come on, the parties barely started.” He’s on his feet, he doesn’t try to corner you, if anything he sets himself against the wall.
“And I want to leave.” When you reach for the doorknob he grabs your wrist, holding it as he stares at you, a look of impatience crosses his face.
“Don’t tell me you’re mad about the secret Santa.” His brows furrow.
“This isn’t about a stupid secret Santa.”
“It sure seems like it is.” He’s still holding your wrist, why is he still holding your wrist?
This isn’t about the secret Santa. It’s a lot more than that, and after ages of keeping your thoughts to yourself in front of him you just let it out.
“This is about the fact that you don’t even care about me enough to make any sort of effort. I know you deliberately chose me, you specifically chose to do this to me and I don’t care that it’s just a stupid prank. It still- It’s still a shitty thing to do.” Your voice starts cracking half way through and you can feel your eyes welling up again but it doesn’t matter anymore, you were wrong, the two of you aren’t friends.
“So this is about the secret Santa.”
Of course he wouldn’t get it.
“You’re an idiot.” You finally pull your wrist from him.
You aren’t sure what else to do so you shove him, his back hitting the wall with a soft thud as you push past him to get to his desk, hoping to grab your keys but he catches your waist first.
“Can you stop being so stubborn for five seconds and just let me explain myself?” You can tell his patience is wearing thin, his voice is strained as he pulls you back against him, caging you against his chest with his arms.
“Fuck Javi- let me go-” You try to kick his knees but he anticipates it, shifting his legs to avoid you.
“Just wait- listen to me.” He swings you around a bit as he tries to still you, you can feel his breath hitching, the buttons of his shirt digging into your back. The two of you thrash around for another moment until you freeze, feeling something poking your hip. When he realizes why you stopped putting up a fight he lets you go in an instant. “Shit- I-I’m sorry.” He stammers as you turn around towards him, eyes wide.
You never thought you’d see Javier Peña flustered yet here he is. When you take a step back his cheeks are burning red, his fingers twitch nervously at his side, and as much as you try to ignore it, his pants are tighter than usual. (And considering how tight they usually are this is quite a feat.) He won’t look you in the eye.
“It- It’s fine, Javi.” You adjust the hem of your skirt, trying to fix your hair. You just can’t catch a break today. “It was an accident, there was a lot of- of friction and it happens. I think I should just go.” You stutter a bit trying to find the right words. This entire evening has been catastrophic, and you’re more than ready to call it a night.
“It’s not an accident.” He mumbles, finally looking at you, not bothering with subtlety as he adjusts himself. “You should probably go.”
If it’s not an accident you don’t want to go.
You want to stay and keep making accidents, starting with rushing forward into him, taking his face in your hands and kissing him. Which is exactly what you do. At first he doesn’t react and you worry you read the situation wrong but when you pull away, just an inch, his hands envelop you.
Hips, waist, back, shoulders, hair. He’s everywhere, all consuming as his teeth graze your lips, in an instant your backside hits his desk.
When he finally does remove his lips from yours his are slick and a tiny bit swollen, his pupils swallow his irises whole.
“I loved your gift, I wasn’t joking, it’s perfect and the last thing I want is for you to think that I don’t care about you. Of course we’re friends, you-” As he rambles on you ball up the end of his tie, unceremoniously shoving it between his teeth.
“Talk later, this now.” You grab the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up over your head, watching his jaw tense at the sight of your chest, his hands playing with the strap of your bra as you hop up onto his desk. Hiking your skirt up, he slots himself between your legs, your own fingers push your panties to the side as he reaches behind you, easily twisting the clasp of your bra to release it, tossing it to the side as his enormous palms engulf your breasts.
You dip your fingers into the wetness between your legs, briefly taking a moment to wonder how you found yourself here. Just moments ago you were ready to leave and consider your friendship with Javier over, yet now you’re spread out on his desk, on display for him as you sink your fingers into your eager cunt.
You don’t get to linger on the thought for long because he groans into the fabric of his tie and you’re pulled back into the moment.
Jesus you’re soaked.
You have no trouble pushing two slick digits into yourself. You can feel the outline of him against your thigh and you know that you need to warm yourself up to take him. He’s too engrossed in your tits to do it right now and you’ve waited too long for this, you don’t want to wait, you just want to have him.
He’s tender at first, squeezing and softly tracing the outline of your areola until he seemingly can’t control himself any longer and he pinches, rolling your nipples between his thumb and pointer finger as your whine. Back arching of the oak of his desk as you curl your own fingers. Even through the tie his moans are still somehow louder than yours, you’re briefly worried about someone hearing as you let out a whimper while he tweaks your nipple but the music’s so loud at the party you can hear Mariah Carey from here.
You don’t stop for a second, putting your focus on reaching the peak that you find yourself already getting startlingly close to. You can feel yourself pulsing as you pick up the pace, reveling in the way his eyes devour the very sight of you. You’re agonizingly close when he grabs your wrist, removing your fingers carefully as you try and resist, wanting to finish what you started, you’re about to whine when he begins unzipping his pants. You can feel your pussy clenching at the very sight of him, of course he isn’t wearing any underwear under his dress pants so the second his zipper is fully down his cock springs free.
Javier fucking Peña has a gorgeous cock.
Standing stiff and proud without either one of you even having to touch it. Pretty and pink on the tip, already leaking down the shaft. And heavy, as he takes it in his hand, his other hand gripping your waist as lines himself at your entrance. He takes a moment, eyes scanning your face, silently asking for permission.
You can’t nod fast enough but the second that you do he slides into you.
You could never conjure up something this good in your fantasies. The way he fills you, stretching you open as he whimpers into the fabric of his tie, you like that he listened, that he kept it in his mouth this long. His strokes are needy and fast, like he’s been waiting for this for so long and now he can’t help but be ravenous. You were already painfully close before he filled you with his perfect cock, it takes only a few minutes for you to be right back there. His fingers dig into your waist so hard that you’re certain he’ll leave marks as he slams in and out of you, pulling out almost entirely with every thrust.
You’re vaguely aware of the sound of his trinkets rolling off his desk and onto the floor.
“Javi, Javi, Javi.” Between gasps you chant his name, the sound encouraging him as he pushes in deep, his pelvis grinding against your clit until you see stars. Your cunt clenching around him as your orgasm is ripped out of you. Messy and loud and blurry, he fucks you through it. You’re so blissed out you can barely focus on the persistent pounding into you until you manage to come back to your senses and his hands leave your waist, instead intertwining with your fingers as his hips twitch forward and you feel him hastily pull out of you.
He spits his tie out, opting to instead bite your shoulder as he comes, the groan that leaves his throat is obscene. Raspy and filthy as he collapses down on top of you, the two of you sweating and gasping amongst the paperwork and pens now scattered across his desk.
Did that really just happen?
He manages to collect himself first, leaning back and tucking himself into his pants before quickly tending to you. He grabs a few tissues, wiping your stomach where the product of your activities lay, before redressing you, slipping the flats that had slipped off, back onto your feet, pulling your skirt back down to cover you as he slides your panties back into place, and retrieving your bra and sweater, lifting you into a sitting position as he redresses you, kissing your cheeks, nose, and forehead the entire time.
“All good?” He whispers, gentler than you’ve ever heard him as you nod, grinning.
“Good enough to make me forgive you for not getting me a present.” You reach into his drawer, grabbing your keys before sliding off of his desk.
“Maybe this was your present.” He tilts his head, kissing you again, smiling all the while.
“That was the perfect gift then.” Probably the best you’ve ever gotten.
“Are you gonna stay for the rest of the party?” He takes your hands in his, his thumbs absentmindedly rubbing circles into your skin.
“I think I need to go to bed after that.” You laugh as you jingle your keys, turning towards the door as he catches your lips in another kiss.
It makes your heart flutter. The continued affection makes you think this isn’t a one time thing. You want more. You want conversations about feelings, and to talk about what just happened, you want to feel him inside you again, and the look in his eyes tells you that you’re going to get all of that. But right now you’re tired, so the rest can wait.
“Can I walk you to your car?” You nod as he murmurs.
He doesn’t let go of your hand, walking you out of the building towards your car, opening the door for you and giving you one last kiss with a promise that he’d call you tomorrow, before you watched him walk back into the building.
Your phone buzzes as you turn your key in the ignition, the sound of Wham! fills the car, Last Christmas playing softly. You take your phone out of your pocket, checking the text notification from Javier.
[ i forgot to tell you how pretty your nails are. merry christmas hermosa ]
Your head turns up in surprise as you realize your radio is working. A new radio system is installed in the center of your dashboard, with a little green bow taped to the top, and a paper tag with Javi’s familiar messy handwriting.
from : your secret fucking santa
a/n : happy holidays everyone!!
#pedrostoriesgift23#lincolndjarin#taro-666 <3#javier pena smut#javier peña#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena narcos#javier pena x reader#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal
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I Never Missed You 2/3 (Bodyguard!Ghost x F!Reader)
Word count: 7.3 k
Tags/warnings: 18+ only. Romance, eventual smut, fluff, light angst, banter, pining, flirting, minor injuries, major character death, HFN ending. Lady/Knight dynamic. Unequal pairing trope. Bodyguard AU. Reader is a rich bitch (how else could she afford a PPO?)
Summary: You hire a bodyguard to protect you and hunt down the one who's been sent to take your life. This man was your lawyer's first recommendation, and you never even looked through his file because you had better things to do. But it soon turns out that this man – this Simon Riley – is very talented... Talented in driving you crazy.
A/N: A three part fic based on this request. Smutty smut ahead in this chapter. Brace yourselves for impact.
Part 1
You have to admit that you look dashing tonight.
And not because you want to turn people's heads at the party… But because you want him to look at you like you're the most forbidden snack he will never have.
It's selfish and petty, and you're just seeking attention. But at least you have the balls to admit it: you want Simon Riley to drool after you. You want this man on his knees. And nothing else has worked except that bra.
So you turn to the world's oldest weapon. A woman's weapon. Seduction.
"I'd suggest you keep a low profile until we're done."
He looks at you through the mirror while you finish your hair. Uses the word we instead of I. It makes your heart ache… And you take even that lecturing comment as a compliment. So he does think you look nice, or at least nice enough to stand out. You read into every look, every little tone of voice he gives you.
"I thought we were supposed to lure him in," you say while you neaten your necklace. Of course you look nice. You have done everything you can to look ravishing tonight: a deep-cut, thigh-revealing dress, cat eye makeup, red lipstick...
"Yeah but not like this."
"I'm not locking myself inside the house because of this," you announce pointedly. "I'm not afraid to live my life."
You turn and look him up and down, give him a little tilt of the head. "Don't you have anything else to wear?"
He doesn't shrink, doesn't bat an eyelash. Just looks down on you from that ivory tower of masculine prowess and makes you feel like a fool for being so dolled up.
"There's a difference between courage and foolhardiness," he states, not falling for your attempts to make him feel small in your world. You suspect there is so much more to this man, but you don't care to know about the circumstances he grew up in, the situations that gave him that broken nose and lip. You don't want to know about his broken soul.
Or perhaps you do...
"I suppose you know everything about that," you say while looking straight at the uneven scar on his jugular.
"I do."
"Tragic past?"
"You could say that."
You feel even more silly, standing before him in all your glory, pearls in your ears and silver around your neck. You pay this man for his services; he's supposed to protect you. But something in his eyes told you from the start that there lies an abyss inside this man. And you didn't pay for that: a peek inside his heart. But a door is open a creak now, and what's inside is pure darkness.
"Well, whatever it is, I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
Your cultured attempt to dance around his chasm makes those brown pools melt. Finally, he melts. But not to compassion, or mercy, or anything that would make you believe that you two understand each other.
He looks at you like you're a stranger from another planet. He's intrigued but doesn't quite understand how a creature like yourself has come to be. You're not only a child in his eyes but a coward as well for not daring to open that door to hell.
"What do you think," you hurry to change the subject. "Will I do tonight?"
He’s always so hyper-vigilant, his stare fixed on everything else but you. It feels childish, to be jealous of his attention when all he’s trying to do is protect you.
But now… Now that alert darkness bores straight into you.
"You look good in everything, ma'am."
A breeze of arctic wind goes through your scalp, and a fainting warmth settles in your belly.
You tiptoed your way to the fridge yesterday morning, before official breakfast, in your knickers and an old band merch from your youth - the one you still slept in sometimes because it was far more comfier than your silk pajamas. He walked in fully dressed and mighty while you were sneaking back upstairs with a glass of apple juice. The humiliation was overwhelming, especially when he dared to look you up and down in your state of underdress.
"Goodness… Sorry."
It should’ve been he who was supposed to say those words. But you felt like an intruder in your own house. It was a dangerous slip: to look so homely, with no brush stroke gone through your hair, with no toner on your skin. With no makeup and standing there before him in all your…you.
"No harm done."
He had never looked at you like that, and you swore right then and there that you would only descend those stairs with your full battledress from now on.
"Even in an old t-shirt…?" You ask with a tight voice. Desperate. Longing…
"Especially then."
Simon Riley strips you from your weapons and charades in a second. Your tight, seductive smile slowly falls off your face, and from behind it, a fragile, naked hope arises to gape at him. He clears his throat as if he just offered you an entire bowl full of ice cream when he was supposed to give you only a little scoop.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," he says, calm and adamant, like a statue you would go to see at a gallery.
"I'm afraid we should be going already."
"Takes 5 minutes."
You purse your lips, and he's on his way to the bathroom before you can even give him your nod. The guy is used to military showers, then, and perhaps it's for the better that he puts on at least some effort.
When he comes out, you're sitting in the hallway, and he's only wearing a towel. It's the one you gave him when he arrived, the softest you could find from your closets. You remember how the first odd thought you had upon seeing this man is that he probably isn't used to softness.
And now you see why.
You can see the prominent veins and the sketchy forearm ink, his muscles are magnificent to the point of unholy, he has a delicious, thin layer of fat on top of his belly, and the eyelashes aren't the only breath of hair that's pale on this man… But he looks like he has gone through an inferno.
His back is full of scars, and half of his shoulder looks like it has been dipped into a deep fryer. You catch a hollow dent between his ribs, and there's more, but he walks to his room before you see the rest of it.
The taxi drive to the party is filled with silence as you try to digest what you just saw. You want to call your lawyer and demand him to tell you where the hell did he find this man and who Simon Riley truly is. Who exactly does he work for when he's not taking bodyguard jobs?
But the first thing you do when you arrive at the large party held in a small palace is to go to the punch bowl and down a glassful in one go.
He's on your heels the whole night, eyes everyone with a hawk stare, and does his job perfectly. He grabs your arm occasionally and whispers in your ear if someone seems suspicious. After one and a half hours, he comes to you and practically demands that you two leave. Normally, you would start an argument, but not tonight.
You kind of want to go back home, too. The people at the party seem tedious, and his scars have reminded you that even if you live in a world where violence is not the norm, it doesn't mean that other worlds don't exist. Otherworlds - where people get shot, stabbed, and blown apart. Whipped and cut and deep-fried. You're in danger, and it took his suffering to see that.
You have been so stupid that you just about wish someone would slap you.
Simon has been so patient with you that you nearly apologize on the ride back home. You want to beg his forgiveness and confess you have been a spoiled little idiot.
But again, that's not an easy thing to do. You turn to look at your forbearing bodyguard, ever silent in the taxi, and turn your voice to silk.
"You really should smile more," you suggest. He doesn't answer, just looks out your window as if there were perils there too. You suddenly realize anyone could shoot through the glass or the door at any given time. With a proper caliber, a bullet could pierce that window and coat his black shirt with the insides of your skull.
No. No. I'm not ducking my head.
There's no one there.
"Have you ever tried?"
You turn to humor and flirt to drive those intrusive thoughts from your head. He doesn't yet know that you're afraid, that you have been afraid this whole time. You should have bought that armored car.
"Am I your most annoying client ever…?" There's a smile on your lips, a little pardon for being so infuriating. His eyes drop there, then lift back up to your eyes with surprising seriousness.
"You're my first client ever."
Well… This was news.
"Oh. Why did you accept this job?"
His stare sails away from you and back to the London night. You stifle the urge to grab his hand, a fistful of his shirt, to draw his attention back to you. Every time he's around, you feel safe; every time he looks at you, everything else ceases to exist.
You want him so badly you could cry.
"They don't teach you manners at the SAS…?"
"No. They teach us how to kill."
You scoff and turn to look through the window, too.
"Brute."
"You're entitled to your opinion, ma'am."
When you reach your house, he uses that term again. You're 110 % sure he's only trying to annoy you.
"Good night, ma'am."
"Stop it," you nearly slam your purse on the table in the hallway.
"What?"
"The ma'am thing…!"
You sound like a wife who's looking for an argument after putting on a charade all evening. When the door to your home closes, volcanoes erupt, and bombs drop, your husband-like bodyguard gets the blunt of your fear and frustration.
But how do you argue with someone who never argues back? He's calm like the Pacific during a stormless season, always, always gets calmer when you're going berserk. He walks to the armchair in your living room like he owns the whole goddamn place and sits down with a sigh.
And there is a smile playing on his lips.
"What should I call you then?"
You look at him, dumbstruck, on that chair, spreading his legs like there's no tomorrow, arms comfortably on the armrests, and mouth drawn into a genuine, peaceful, thoroughly naughty smile.
"Oh, now you're smiling," you huff. The unbelievable audacity of this man… "Some ideas on what to call me popped into your head?"
"Verily."
"Go on then."
"Nah. You should go to sleep."
"I'm not going until you tell me."
You cross your arms over your chest to underline that ruling. His smile only widens. He looks wickedly delicious in that seat with his legs spread, and the chair doesn't swallow him like it swallows you. Actually, his shoulders are wider than the back panel of this enormous chair.
"Well," he begins, "’princess' came up first."
You try to catch what he just said through the stupor of wanting to climb on that wide lap.
"Truly? How original."
"Or spoiled brat."
You stop breathing for a second, then reel straight toward a spiral of–
"How dare you?"
You notice his eyes dropping to your heaving breasts again. This man is so different from a dinner-offering, cunning man in a suit. He has no pretenses whatsoever. He looks at you with that little smile, eyes burning, legs drifting apart even more, probably his cock stirring from how you are trying to chastise him. If you had pearls around your neck, you would clutch them. Or throw them at him.
"You son of a–"
"Pretty."
His next choice renders you speechless; it cuts through your insult before it even flees your mouth. You gape at him, jaw open, breathing and cheeks burning, pussy throbbing - soaked so thoroughly now that you feel a tiny droplet cascade down your thigh.
"Yeah. That's better," the man says as if he's also blessed with a Superman stare, knowing you're seconds away from drenched. "Better than brat or princess, anyway."
The darkness conceals most of him as he settles inside that massive chair he dwarfs. You are falling, or at least that's what it feels like. A tumble, a slip inside his Styx. But there's no bottom, and the water is warm ink, despite the fact that he's so blanched.
"Pretty…?" You whisper into that water, breathe onto the surface of his depths. The darkness answers immediately.
"Very."
Your swallow is a wet, nervous roll inside your throat when you sink into that river of lust and smoke.
You take your jewels off first, because you know he doesn't care for them. Money's not his chief interest, even if he's being paid. And fat, at that. But he's not here for riches, he’s not here for the jewels – or that's what you desperately wish.
The necklace and pearls are gone soon, tucked away on the table with your trembling digits, and he's sitting there like a statue.
You have no trouble with this dress: the zipper seems to cascade down on its own as you reach behind your back. He's motionless as you slip out of the straps that keep the dark velvet up. You feel like you're the Styx: but the darkness of the river pools at your feet as you let go of the gown, let go of everything and continue your freefall.
He doesn't move, doesn't give evidence that he's even breathing; he just sits there like a long-forgotten king.
The panic snares you with a drool-wet throat: you salivate not because of him but because of your nerves.
Are you… harassing him?
Does he want this…?
At least he thinks you're pretty – and you could laugh out loud; your thoughts are vain and petty, even when you're baring yourself before him in more ways than just one. Your breaths are audible distress inside that darkness, and he's still: everything's still.
But he moves when you reach for your bra.
It's just a hand that soars through the darkness, an involuntary reach for support and gathering of composure as his fingers find his jaw. They swipe across imagined stubble before he leans his head on that hand, just an ounce's worth of weight placed on his thumb and pointer as if he's simply in his thoughts. But the hawk stare is fixed on the lace covering your breasts as it falls on the floor too.
You hear his breaths now. Quicker on the inhale, heavy on the exhale. Your thumbs slide under the hem of the last piece of your veil, something you got from the store when you were feeling down. Now the underwear makes you feel better than ever - who would’ve guessed it's the moment you slither it off? Slowly, too: you’re being a tease, hip bones giving a two-second dance for him as he continues to watch you strip before him like the queen of the night.
You breathe in sync now, and your nipples perk up – he hasn't even touched you yet and you're more aroused than ever with a man.
Not a word spoken, and you fear you’re being delusional – if you've just imagined the heat between you two, but then those legs flare a hair's breadth more. His voice is the softest whip as it crackles through the void.
"Yeah... You're pretty. Now what?"
You breathe in gusts now. It's exhilaration, damnation.
"Jesus Christ, Simon."
The chair gives a creak as he rises, like an ancient shadow. Intimidating – intense, always, always, and you've been trying to coat him with soft towels and feed him toast. You wonder if he prefers black tea simply because it tastes more bitter than coffee rounded with milk.
Does he want this? Silly softness and toast and–
You get all your answers as he bends just enough to match your height, just enough to sweep you off your feet. Your hands go around his neck on instinct as he lifts you up from your rich, opulent Styx and into his sea.
You're quiet all the way upstairs – he can't fuck you downstairs, then, has to intrude on your luxury and privacy. You don't mind, especially when the steps give a desperate wail under your combined weight. He lets it sing its music to the night: your ruining already makes so much noise.
He reaches for his gun right after he’s placed you on the mattress. The sound of it is heavy when he sets it on the nightstand that has only seen glasses of water and apple juice and perhaps a few books.
He undresses with soldierly sharpness, no seduction there. But he doesn't have to seduce you: his stare and heavy-cold demeanor have already done that.
He's so, so different from the others… Looks at you on the bed like you're both a piece of tender sirloin and something akin to garbage. That's an accurate depiction of a princess, perhaps. You know wasps gather around both honey and bloodied meat.
He looks at you like that because you know nothing. And he's not here to ruin you… he's here to insert himself inside you like you're a foe that needs to be infiltrated, plundered and burned until you understand.
He's big. Daunting. A brute while you’re the princess, could be the sleeping beauty, the way you stay immobile and try to take in this man's sheer power. You saw him half naked already when he came from the shower, but it's nothing compared to seeing all that taut, scarred flesh up close, soon about to fall upon you like a broken mountain.
And what's between his legs is wholly proportional to the rest of him. That thing is a menace, and it's not even fully erect - hanging thick between thick thighs, foreskin revealing a fat, sloping tip, and he's veined all over…
Finally, your mouth goes dry.
His gaze sweeps your beauty, and that cock gives a throb – a good, hard pull that stretches out into the open air, and your eyes go wide. Then he prowls, like the king of the jungle, moving with a fluidity that must be scary to those who meet their end by this big brute’s violence.
You are able to take in air only when his hand falls next to your head. The other claims you by the middle as if to soothe you - but the truth is you're caged in like a tiny, quivering animal.
The hand is heavy as it slopes across your stomach and scales your mound. It doesn't cup or probe, only rests there over your most sacred place, like an enemy surrounding a city. Your thighs part slowly, hoping he would just sweep right in.
"This wasn't in the deal," he rasps as he looks down at you: heavy iron judging a diamond.
"Oh shut up," you breathe, thoroughly thrilled and shy. If you weren't lying down, his intensity would buckle your knees.
"Nor do I take orders from you, ma'am."
"I'm not- Don't call me a-"
His eyes spark as the hand dips down like a deep diver into the blue. You gasp a stunned whiff when he's met with a mortifying amount of slickness. Your arousal sings a pretty song as he draws a finger over your slit, the moist sounds followed by another stuttering sigh.
"Look at you all wet," he remarks, and you grit your teeth.
“Shut…up…”
"You know why I accepted this job?"
He wrecks you with one thick finger, rough skin lathering you with your own juice like he's trying to make a point here. And he is making a point: it comes across perfectly. The princess is a filthy mess for brutes…
And of course he was given a file on you too. With more than just one photo.
"Yeah," he rasps when you only look back at him with your felled deer helplessness. You could swear that he just heard your thoughts. "I think you know."
"You're–ah– a brute," you whisper, eyes shining. Your thighs part even more, feel yourself leaking over his fingers that stroke you agonizingly slow. You swallow with hunger, the need pangs on your cheeks. Your whole body is throbbing for him.
“Sticks and stones, love.”
He's so infuriating that you could slap him. Claw him, rip him apart. But you nearly laugh instead… It's far better an option to let him claw and rip you apart. He's tearing you apart right now, with those eyes and his hand, exploring you like you're the first course and he's here for the whole dinner. How can he be so calm?
"Could you…" You start, then realize you've never begged for this man.
"Hm? Talk to me," he commands. "Whatever ya want."
You whimper – from bliss or relief, you can't tell. The frantic need to serve is fully fleshed out in his tone. It surprises you. You thought he was here for his own pleasure.
You try to think through the bliss of his fingers. You've had all kinds of things... All you could ever want, most would say. But that's not entirely true. No man has ever promised to please you however you want.
"Could you go…"
"Go down on you?" He places a thumb, broad and hard, on your clit. Teases it with the slightest pressure and a circle. "Lick your cunt?"
Fuck…
He has no trouble saying it as it is, and you nod, still helpless.
"Sure. 'N after that I'll fuck you nice and good."
He's never, ever sounded like that before. Dark, and rich, the baritone reaching a level that speaks of hunger – no, need.
A brute, a pussy-drunk brute, the blood in your veins sing as he goes down. Nothing can prepare you for the way with which he manhandles his way between your thighs like they're only a petty distraction in the way. They're forced wide apart with a tight grip that speaks of urgency, but he takes his time to admire the sight bared before him. He’s drinking you in like ambrosia, towering above you while you’re being held open for him to just observe you like you’re a center-spread girl in a filthy magazine.
"You're fucking pretty down here, did ya know that?"
You don't even know what to say - his tone, his observation is base, and still, they're the most beautiful words anyone has ever said to you.
"No…?"
"Well now ya know."
He steals a final glance at you, and the fire in his eyes already makes your legs feel weak. He dives between your parted legs, right into your leaking, glistening folds, and you're suddenly glad that you've done all that yoga… Those shoulders are so broad they force your thighs even further apart as he makes himself home there between your legs.
A hot mouth presses against you like this man has been starving, even if you've fed him the best delicacies for days. An even, fat stroke is the first thing you feel before your toes curl and your head falls back.
"Goodness, Simon..." You try to keep yourself from stuttering as his mouth opens you like a flower. You should be quiet, for once, and let him do the job. He seems like an expert, even and especially there between your legs. "Do you-ah, always shag your clients?"
"Told you you're my first," he rasps a husky sigh on your folds. He could ruin you with that voice alone.... He gives you another sweep of his tongue, full and ample, and your fingers curl around the sheets, your hips buck; your ass drives up on instinct, trying to both escape his mouth and rub your pussy against those thin but eager lips.
"Don't worry," he tells your pussy with a warm chuckle. "This is free of charge."
You sigh, the first laugh of many up into the air. You're supposed to get angry, but you can't. You can't.
"Have… no words for you."
"Good. It's about time you stopped talking, love."
He grabs your hips to punctuate it that you should indeed shut up. Fingers sink into your flesh like you're a whole goddamn feast - no more fucking toast and teasing. His hands look so huge as they dig into your skin - so different from the hands of men who work in offices or wait for people to serve them. You upvoted those hands to be the best part of this man long ago.
And that bulk of muscle… Some of those men in suits might go to the gym, but they couldn't forge a body like his in a million years: that breathtaking mass built to work and endure harsh conditions. It's not a flex or a sculptured piece of art: it's simply survival - ancient and primal.
He's got darkness, and you got diamonds, but something tells you his depths are infinitely more valuable. You couldn't buy his intensity even if they sold it in the streets. The skull mask was self-made, everything in this man is self-made, and he's sampling what diamonds taste like, and you wonder… Does he think you're cheap, some fake piece of worthless junk? Does he laugh at how easy you are? That under your manners, you're only a spoiled brat and a promiscuous maneater…? Or that he couldn't care less, as long as he can push his cock inside you?
He gives you his best, that's for sure. A working man, with you as his assigned mission, and the feeling of being a spoiled little princess only increases. And how are you supposed to stay still if he's slow and attentive like that? You might be his first client, but you're not his first shag…
His lips seal tightly around your nub, suck it, lap it, sigh on it - he's already breathless from the need to make you moan and cum. A purpose-driven, ravenous man, and when he dips his tongue inside your cunt, your mind finally goes blessedly blank. Your legs shake and stretch, and you can’t prevent your hand from skimming down to grab his hair when he gives you deep, unhurried plunges with his tongue, huffing against you from the mad want to make you feel good.
You would never have guessed that Simon Riley would get such pleasure from licking a woman.
One hand disappears from around your thigh, and you guess it's one of his fingers that arrives, wide and thick, to tease your entrance. You can feel the smile on your folds as he slips it in, making you nearly jolt on the sheets. Your fingers instantly curl to tug that pale hair, to grab hold of something, and it makes him rumble inside you.
He doesn’t even wait for you to catch your breath as he adds another finger. Goes shallow at first, then pushes those fingers in to the knuckle. The feeling of being filled - and not being filled enough - is going to drive you crazy any second now.
"Simon…"
"Yeah?"
“I want you to… want you to…" you hear yourself choking on your beg as he works those fingers in and out of you while his lips are tight around your clit. He knows exactly what you're trying to ask.
And suddenly, it's he who breaks…
"Right. 'M gonna fuck you now, yeah?"
The spread is gone, and you're being moved - on your belly, and you briefly think whether it's because he can't bear to look into your eyes when he takes you. You don’t even have time to whimper from the loss of his fingers and mouth before heavy thighs force your legs aside. You’re being spread again, crudely, obscenely, like it’s just a procedure that has to be done. He’s both methodical and impatient, and you wonder - has he wanted to rail you like this ever since he saw you? Force you to lie down on your belly while he takes you from behind like a helpless damsel?
His hands come to your hips as if to make sure that you won’t run away from under him. As if you ever wanted to…
Something far fatter forces its way between your folds and straight onto your opening. He glides over your folds a few times, spreads your wetness all over his tip. Methodical still, but it makes you moan and swallow.
"Jesus…"
The lathering stops, the jutting cock settles right where your depths lie, and he chuckles. "Not quite, love."
Fuck…
Fuck this man's cheek and audacity. Fuck his size and pride, the way he knows what he's doing all the fucking time.
“Desperate for it?”
That stupidly fat cock just resides there, teasing your aching, leaking hole without going in. But it’s like he answers his own question because you feel the thick of him give a notch against your folds. So impatient. Thoroughly needy. It sends you further down the whirpool of desire, a searing white, fathomless deep..
“Yes..”
When he goes in with a leaden grunt, your muscles go into a spasm - he's too big, he hasn't prepared you right, and still, you force yourself to relax.
"Not what you expected?"
"It's… too much," you admit. He stops, realizing that for once in his life, he might've been an impatient man. Then he crawls forward, and you feel like you're about to be buried under a boulder as his weight bears down on you. Hands sink into the mattress on both sides of you, forcing you further up against him - you're floating, almost, to where you belong.
"Yeah? C'mon… You can take it."
You shudder. It's not even fully in yet?
He speaks too softly for it to be a demand, even when he's hovering on the brink of wanting to simply ram himself into your cunt. It's an encouragement. He’s cheering you on, like a coach. Or a leader... It’s leadership.
When you don't object, he starts to feed more of himself in. You try to remember how to breathe because you were wrong, you were so, so wrong - it was barely just the tip, and now you're stretched wide and tight. He's endless, and sinking in deeper, deeper….
And you want it so much - all of him- you want to grip him and never let go. One hand comes to sweep over your hip again, it caresses the swell of your ass, and you know he's looking down at how well you can take him after all.
"How are we doin'?"
Your lips are swollen, and your brows are creased tight. It's still not in…?
You’re fucked. Literally. But you can take him... You must.
You whimper when he slows down almost to a halt.
"Love. Tell me to stop 'n I'll stop."
"Just–gently," you whisper, brittle and shivering from joy.
"Don't worry. I got you."
Slowly, he arrives to the end of him and you. Hips flesh against yours, he’s out of breath before he even starts the thrusts. His length caresses places unfathomable in this position, and his weight is crushing you, even when he's supporting himself. It only feels like the safest place to be. Trapped there between your safe, soft bed and his safe, hard body.
The first thrust punches the air out of your lungs. It doesn’t hurt, and it’s not uncomfortable; it’s just too much to take. You’ve never been so filled.
"Fuck…" He swears, somewhere between the third or fourth thrust. "You're…"
"Good…?" You offer him when he doesn't continue. You know he was possibly going to say tight or something crude like that and corrected himself before it spilled. He merely grunts as an answer - a barbarian through and through, you decree. And then the brute speaks…
"The best."
God. You feel like a diamond after all, but you've never been under so much pressure, fearing you might break.
"You-too…" It's a sad little mewl. You sound like a child trying to make friends. Latching a hook on him, no matter how tiny it is. One shake, one ripple from the behemoth, and it will fall loose.
"Don't go lying with that pretty little mouth," he warns.
"I'm not lying."
"Yeah…? Keep squeezing me like that and perhaps I'll believe you."
It's a strange feeling, to meet your mistrust and jealousy on him. He has no pretenses, but he has secrets, camouflage, and flash grenades that blind you from the truth. But even he can't hide it all when he's moving inside you, so close, so terribly close.
You melt into a pool of heat and want, trying to meet him midway by offering your cunt, arching your spine, driving yourself up to give him better access. What was possibly meant as a desperate fuck turns into a sweet, weightless rocking, a rhythm of him and you. The hands on your hip start to gain weight as he holds you still for him, at times even pulls you against his cock.
"C'mon… wanna hear you," he huffs, then slides one hand to your butt and gives it a fond squeeze when you won't instantly make noise. "You're always givin' me that cheek and now you're silent?"
It's a warm question, a thick baritone that settles into your stomach, then shoots downwards and makes you clench.
"Wh-what do you want me to say?"
"Want you to sing."
Of course the man who never talks won't shut up in bed. But he's not bullying you into submission, nor is he being mean. If anything, he sounds like he's finally on his knees.
And you don't want to be mean either. Not anymore. But you just can't help yourself from having a little fun now that he's finally desperate and inside you.
"Make me," you whisper, delivering your cheek with a wicked little smile.
The response is immediate: he dares to land a flat palm on your ass. Like you're a broodmare, a sirloin steak for him to feast on. And it does the job: you almost shriek, or at least that's how it sounds like when a parched little whine pushes through your vocal chords with violence.
"That's better," he barks, pleased with his work.
"You're horrible," you gasp. You're glad he put you face down on a pillow: you can only hope he doesn't see how happy you are in the darkness of his night.
"Yeah? And you're sweet."
It's said with gravel wrapped in silk. It hits you and ignites, starts a flame inside you without permission.
You want him in ways you shouldn't. You want… more breakfasts, him carrying you up the stairs, taking in the way you tip-toe around the house in an old t-shirt. You want to serve him back rubs and tea and see who he is when he's not being paid. You don't want a lap dog or a guard dog, you simply want...
Simon.
"I'm– I'm sorry that I've been such a bitch," you whisper. He sinks back on top of you until his nose nuzzles the back of your ear. He leans on his elbows, trying not to break you into too many little pieces, but the feeling of being confined couldn't be more blissful.
"Cock's that good?" He drags the following thrust, sparking your nerves aflame as he hits your core. But it's not brutal; if it is, it's the sweetest wrecking you could ever have imagined.
"Don't make me take my words back," your lips pull to a smile and a silent, inner laugh.
"Wouldn't dream of it."
He's smiling too. Inwardly, perhaps, but you can hear the mirth. His weight on top of you while you're lying under him on your belly, unable to move, unable to do anything other than take the full brunt of his cock as it spreads you open, is pure heaven.
"Want you to cum when I'm inside you," he rasps in your ear, lips brushing the underside of your jaw. "Think you can do that, princess?"
Being told to cum on command is a bit ridiculous, you think. But not when it comes from that Cockney mouth. Not when he asks so nicely. Your cunt pulls, claws at him.
"... I'll show you princess," you sigh, but it's only a second away from laughter. His fingers dig into your skin, the flush flesh of your ass. It feels possessive… Fond.
"Yeah. Show me. C'mon."
The camouflage gets slightly torn off by a wind of a smile. You can hear it on his lips. Sex should be fun, one of your friends always says. You had never thought about it like that. Bed is not the place for laughter and humor, you had thought. But now you are both on the brink of bursting with it.
"You're a fucking pretty one…" He grunts: a breathless, silent joy. "Know you want this as much as I do. Ain't that right?"
"Yes."
"That's what I thought. So cum for me. Wanna hear the sounds you make."
You dance on the precipice already, and his voice causes your hand to shoot out to his. You drag that heated palm across your hips and your ribs, curl it next to you as if you were drawing a blanket over youself. It's a lover's caress, and his fingers slip between yours as he wraps around you like the protector that he is.
Your walls flutter, the thickness inside you makes you swell with every thrust. His hips are relentless as he buries himself into you with blunt force, his flesh clapping against yours and making your cunt clamp down on him. Sweet, sweet, sweet, your blood sings as your lids drift closed. The wave is coming, the final tsunami that will sweep you with it, and you will only succumb with joy.
"Don't-stop," you hear yourself beg through the heavy pants he's grunting on your neck.
"'M not gonna stop," he grunts into your ear, serious now.
"Fuh–Fuck me good and… hard," you're hiccuping through dry tears. It feels like there's a hammer and an anvil placed between your ribs. "I need you hard-"
"Shit…"
You barely grasp that he's about to lose his precious control before the midnight sea takes you under. The world fades into a tight know of blue and white and black, electric, ambient, something soft and hot at the same time. You're choking on your tears, moaning into the pillow like a poor, broken, tortured cat.
"That's fucking pretty," he swears on your neck as you cum. All humor is gone now, but he's not mocking you. He's just… emotional. The bulk of him rides you through the wave, but the rhythm of his hips becomes erratic.
"That's it, pretty… I'm gonna…Fuck," he huffs on your skin, a mist of want, and the cockhead rubs something profound inside you and makes you jolt in the middle of your molten euphoria. He grunts, swears, and does it again - bludgeons so deep it forces out a sob, just before he breaks too with a choked, wet swallow and a groan. A trembling colossus, you think, as he thickens and bursts inside you.
You're an aching mess when he comes, his thighs pressing over yours and forcing them far and wide as he buries himself into you to the hilt. He's a behemoth, spasming and crumbling right above you. The broad abs bunch against your back while his hips pin you down and spread you open. The cock pulses inside you, and you are barely able to think how it's a miracle that both his thick flesh and the pool of cum, all of it, just somehow fits there inside you…
A gentle brute until the end, he swallows again, thick and breathless, before giving a few tight rolls of his hips, emptying himself to the last drop. Slowly, you both still inside your bubble of warm, dark blue, something akin to a sea between a tropical storm and a calm sunrise, a drowsy reef shifting with the waves.
He's broken into a light sweat from the toil when he finally untangles your fingers. Your hips are kept in place with one hand as he slowly pulls out. You feel like you're left emptier than before, even if you feel the cum welling up inside, about to spill over.
Your bodyguard - your late-night fuck - collapses beside you, then reaches to pull you close again. Still back against his chest, still unable to look into your eyes when you're both vulnerable.
"I'm gonna get you a towel," his fingers tremble as he caresses your arm with the most delicate touch.
"No–don't, don't go," you whisper, then grab his hand and bring it back over you. You almost squeeze yourself with it. "Please?"
The tension behind your back decreases as he slowly falls back into bed.
"Alright love. I'll stay right here."
It's so peculiar how he reminds you of large water masses. A night sea under a pale moonlight. Not a stormy, roiling one, just a vast depth in an ever-swelling motion.
"I want… I need you to keep me safe," you whisper inside that swelling sea. You never want to come to the surface. You want to learn to breathe underwater. The heavy arm is draped over you; it covers nearly half of your chest as he sighs.
"Then let me do that."
His plea is not humble - nothing in this man is. He's not on one knee, swearing his allegiance and vowing to always protect you. He's not your Lancelot.
But in a way, his plea comes far too close to a beg. You feel a sting near your heart. It's electric, pure pain - the sweet kind, though, as you realize he doesn't only want to do his job… He wants to protect you. He has already tried his best to protect you while you run around like nothing is wrong.
"Simon… I'm sorry."
"I already forgave you," he hums on your skin, evidently glad that you two finally understand each other. It should send you laughing, the thought that you needed his scars and his…treatment to find common ground. And free of charge, no less.
"Do you still wish you were somewhere warmer…?"
He bows his head against the nape of your neck, and the gush of air from his nose is warm and jovial. "No."
It's hours till dawn, but you wish it would never come. The beauty of the night is only now unfolding before you. It feels far more safe than the violent dawn. You wonder how he would react if you moaned his name as you cum. If he would shudder. You wonder what the hell is wrong with you that you didn't already do it...
"Simon…?"
"Mm..?"
"What happens now?"
There's a pause, but he doesn't shift for more comfort. Still, the bullet vests and battle gears are back on; you just sense it.
"We're gonna get some sleep."
"No, I meant… What does this mean for us?"
"What do you think it means?"
Now he shifts, but only to draw you closer. You feel like jello as he pulls your scent deep into his lungs, then exhales the grace on your skin like you're the only tobacco he needs after a good round of sex.
"Don't worry about it, princess," he murmurs on your skin. So delicately that you could claim this man has never even seen the army, never barked and shouted and smoked his throat dry. "We'll talk in the morning."
You settle into his sea, an embrace full of gentle, heavy safety. It's the sweetest oblivion to slip in as you begin a dreamless sleep, soft and snug. But it's not merciful enough to make you forget that you two…
You never even kissed.
............................................
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NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 3/?
genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.
warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.
word count: +10k?
a/n: I’m sorry this took too long to post!! 😭😭 but I been so busy with college rn, I’m going to graduate this year so I’m like having a lot of work lately, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I was writing so that was the reason it took longer than expected, sorry!
I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind l had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.
I'm sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it's because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N's life is before they get together! So pls pls don't skip anything I hope you like it!
if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!
The third day of the week arrived promptly, where (Y/N) found herself comfortably seated in one of the library chairs, with her chemistry books scattered on the table in front of her as she studied for the exams she had coming up, with Jungwoo beside her.
It was becoming her routine for the week; after last Friday's party, what she most desired was to avoid being at home, especially after having an argument with her mother when she returned from the party.
She didn't want to deal with her in a good time.
Annoyed that her mother had thought it was a great idea to take away her right to use her own car as punishment for disobeying her that night and leaving the house... staying in the library seemed the most pleasant option; with silence, able to listen to music through her AirPods, without her mother bothering her every five minutes and being able to review what she had learned in her last classes: it was something she could take advantage of. She took a sip of her vanilla latte, which had been sponsored by Jungwoo, who, in an attempt to apologize for abandoning her in that way during last Friday's party, promised to pay for each of her daily drinks for a week and a half, no matter the cost.
And even though (Y/N) could afford that or even triple, she was still happy about it. Gifted things tasted even better anyway.
Of course, she first gave Jungwoo a -no- beating after telling him everything that had happened during his absence, but still, she appreciated that her friend was okay even though she hadn't heard anything from him until Saturday night.
During these last few days, with a new routine, (Y/N) was almost always in the same places, at the same times, and if she was honest, she was surprised not to have bumped into Jung Jaehyun at any moment.
It was weird; she would normally see him somewhere around the school, either accompanied by Lucas or just sitting on one of the benches while smoking his 'n' cigarette of the day. But simply, since Friday, she hadn't heard anything from him... she hadn't even bumped into Lucas, which increased the level of strangeness, considering he was a social butterfly, he was always around. (Y/N) had been aware of her words after Jaehyun had taken her home: she could no longer continue with whatever deal they had, with all the stress of her own tasks and knowing that no matter what she did, her cousin wouldn't give up his addictions, it was best to give up.
Although it would hurt her soul to know that there was no way to help Daeho.
But thinking about it, she didn't know if she had really been sincere about each going their own way... apparently Jaehyun had taken it very seriously to not show up anywhere, and although (Y/N) knew very well that being close to him didn't bring her anything good... his presence hadn't been so bothersome in the last few days. Really, after sharing a few words and spending more time with him, she couldn't say that she disliked his existence. It was funny if you asked the (Y/N) from a month ago, there would be no way she could have imagined that, somehow, she would be related to none other than Jung Jaehyun, who, on the outside, just seemed to be one more problem.
She tried to stop thinking about it and tried to focus her gaze on the book in front of her, but after a few minutes... it was difficult for her. There was something inside her that made her feel uneasy but she couldn't think what it was.
"There’s a race in Kosmo today" her best friend's voice brought her out of her thoughts.
Kosmo was the neighborhood that was right in the middle of the city, dividing Kwangya and Neo Zone. (Y/N) knew that there were usually illegal races in that area because it was when the rich kids from Kwangya usually dared to compete against Neo Zone.
"And why should I care...?"
"Your cousin will go to bet," Jungwoo replied, interrupting her study session.
The girl opened her eyes in surprise and asked, "How do you know?"
"Daeho told Mingi, and Mingi told me," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. The boy fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. "Don’t you want to go?" He asked curiously.
(Y/N) looked up from her books and observed her friend incredulously. "Why would I want to go?"
"To keep an eye on Daeho," he answered.
"I'm still mad with him, I've decided not to help him anymore. I really tried, I've been trying for the past few years, but he doesn't want help and now I understand," the girl confessed, closing her book and letting out a sigh.
"Still... don't you think it would be fun? Getting out of our comfort zone a bit... seeing what all this racing stuff is about. I've heard they're amazing," Jungwoo insisted.
"Jungwoo, my mom will kill me if she finds out I went to an illegal race," the girl continued, taking a sip of her coffee.
"She won't find out."
"Jungwoo..."
"Come on, (Y/N), we won't even be in Neo Zone, it'll be in Kwangya only. We'll go, watch the race, and leave. We won't even make contact with anyone. We'll go on our own," the boy assured her, moving closer to her. "Please, I think it would be interesting to break out of our routine, just for one night, what could go wrong?"
"Many things could go wrong, Woo," she replied.
"We won't know unless we try," he pouted, clasping his hands together. "Please."
She hated how persuasive her best friend was.
She sighed and shook her head. "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble, we're leaving without a second thought."
"I love you so much," Jungwoo replied, hugging her shoulders.
"And I really hate you."
______________________________________________
The night fell faster than she expected, and among the roar of engines and the intense music that could be heard on the outskirts of Kosmo, (Y/N) felt something cold run through her body.
She could see familiar faces here and there, some of her classmates from Kwangya were in the place, and from the opposite side, the cars and familiar faces of Neo Zone were present.
It was a strange atmosphere for her; she had always played it safe, and now she didn't even know what to think. She felt herself getting closer to Jungwoo to not lose him, the last thing she needed was for them to separate like they did at the party.
She didn't think she could survive alone.
And it's not that she was dumb to think otherwise, but her parents raised her in an environment where they made her believe that she shouldn't do things outside her daily life. (Y/N) was afraid of adventures. Her life was governed by being obedient and doing the right thing; she didn't know when the moment of rebellion she had a few days ago when she left home the night of the party had been wise.
And now finding herself in Kosmo secretly from her mother at an illegal race? She must have gone crazy.
She believed even more so that she had gone crazy when something inside her hoped to run into none other than Jung Jaehyun.
She didn't understand why the urgency of what was happening, and even less why she expected to run into Jaehyun before running into Daeho.
Maybe it was because she found it strange not to have seen him since last Friday's party.
But she knew that if there was one place Jaehyun wouldn't miss... it would be the race tonight.
"Are you looking for Daeho?" Jungwoo asked when he saw her looking around. "He's probably with Mingi."
How could she explain to her friend that the person she was looking for was none other than Jung Jaehyun?
She nodded without saying more, and they both continued on their way while cautiously observing their surroundings. The smell of marijuana and car engines was embedded in the place, the music made their ears ring, and the night breeze made their bodies tremble.
(Y/N)'s eyes drifted away when she noticed Lucas in the distance, having a conversation with another guy. Lucas felt her gaze on him and looked at the girl with confusion before approaching her after apologizing to his companion.
"Hey, Kwangya kiddos, what brings you here on this magnificent night?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.
"We wanted to know what these races are about," Jungwoo replied simply.
"Hmm, interesting," the tall guy nodded. "Well, you're in luck, Jaehyun will race today, are you sure you want to see the show? The best of the area against someone from Yellow Wood," Lucas explained while cracking his fingers slightly.
Upon hearing the guy's name, (Y/N) looked up and paid attention to Lucas's words.
"If you're interested in betting, come to me," Lucas advised.
"I think we're fine like this," said (Y/N).
"Alright, take care. I'll go look for my guy to get him ready for the race," Lucas announced as he patted Jungwoo on the back.
The guy walked away from them with a smile, and Jungwoo responded with one of his own, then he looked at his friend and frowned, "relax, you're anxious."
How could she not be?
But before she could even answer anything, a few meters away, she saw the familiar face she had been looking for. In the distance, the silhouette of Jung Jaehyun was leaning against his car while talking to a few guys from Neo Zone, his neck tattoos weren't very visible due to the darkness of the night but she could distinguish them a bit, then... as if he had called him, Jaehyun's gaze moved to connect with hers, making her freeze in place.
Jaehyun frowned when he saw her standing just a few steps away from him, looking like a lost puppy as she stood beside Jungwoo.
The sight reminded him of a month ago when Daeho had clumsily brought (Y/N) to Neo Zone. Although this time she was accompanied by her best friend, another rich and spoiled kid from Kwangya. He observed the outfit she had decided to wear, once again, just like that time, it wasn't extravagant, no famous brand could be seen in her attire, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a pair of earrings that definitely looked like gold...
He hoped she wouldn't lose them tonight.
Because they made her look good.
The surprise was evident on the girl's face when she took a better look at the brunet's body, who was now walking towards her, wearing a hoodie with its hood over his head and as he got closer, the darkness of the night was no longer so intrusive. It hadn't been enough to hide the bruises that were scattered across his body.
There was one under his cheek, just below his left eye, and it was reddish, as if it were flushed. Then, looking at the ones between his jaw and his neck, she noticed how they subtly mixed with the ink of the tattoo he had on his neck. That one was difficult to distinguish thanks to the dark lines that adorned that part of his body, but if you paid enough attention, it was alarming.
When she lowered her gaze over his torso and then looked at his hands, she could see the intense shades of red that his knuckles contained, as if ground blood had accumulated on each of them.
It wasn't the first time she had seen Jaehyun or Lucas with a bruise or two on a school day, but it was the first time she had seen it up close.
Her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why was it suddenly doing this?
"Did you lost your way home?" Jaehyun asked when he was in front of her.
"Jaehyun," she muttered quietly, "... are you okay?"
The girl didn't need much to realize that was the stupidest question she could ask right now, of course he wasn't okay. And although she knew this happened regularly in Jaehyun's life, she couldn't help but fill her head with doubts; what had to happen for him to end up like this?
... was that the reason he hadn't gone to school?
A small smile appeared on the boy's face, and even with the different colors decorating his face, she could still notice the dimples that formed in it.
Why did he still look good?
"I don't think you came here to ask that, Angel," Jaehyun replied mockingly. "I really believed in your whole story about us going on our ways, so what are you doing at a race where most of the spectators are from Neo Zone?"
The girl was left speechless. "Jungwoo brought me here."
"Well, if that's the case, enjoy the races, I think it'll be fun for you to spice up your Wednesday nights a bit," he continued with a sarcastic smile.
"What happened to you?" She asked again.
Jaehyun didn't answer.
He had gotten himself into big trouble... all thanks to Jeno.
He had trusted that all his merchandise would be sold by the time Monday came around, but after being at Johnny Suh's party, where other dealers were also present, he didn't manage to sell what he needed.
He had a little less than half left in his pockets and in Lucas's.
Luck had not been on his side this time, and when he had to be accountable to Lee Sooman, he had to take responsibility for his brother's actions. And despite telling him that he would not take care of him like he used to after the argument they had... he'd much rather take the beatings he had received than see Jeno the way he did in the mirror.
That time, it really felt eternal. He still remembers the angry (but also mocking) look Sooman had on his face when Jaehyun and Lucas brought the money to his office and after asking Lucas none too kindly to leave, that was when Jaehyun knew what was coming.
With Cheol Uk by his side, leading him out of the office to the vacant lot not far from the warehouse, Jaehyun could do nothing but accept what was coming.
It was one blow after another, and he knew well that at that moment, defending himself was not something he should do or he would end up worse.
He remembers feeling every punch with tremendous pain, and all he could think about was Jeno and how he would have felt if it had been him getting beaten up.
At least Jaehyun was used to the beatings and had no choice; he already knew that all of this was part of being someone from Neo Zone, so he simply had to continue to comply with what Sooman demanded to the letter unless he wanted to end up again in the position he was in.
What felt like hours was really just a few minutes; Cheol Uk stopped hitting him after a while and without saying more, he left. Leaving Jaehyun in the middle of the vacant lot with a broken lip and eyebrow as he spat blood and reached for his abdomen for some support to get up and walk to where he knew Lucas was waiting for him.
How much more? How much longer would he have to keep with all of this?
But, right now, it wasn't something he should talk about.
"It's really not something you need to know," he replied with a smirk. "You came to enjoy the race, right? Then do it, I'll be running in a few minutes, if you don't get scared by the atmosphere here before that, I'm sure you'll want to see me," Jaehyun continued, winking at her.
"I think it'll be fun to see you in second place," the girl teased.
"Baby... I always win," Jaehyun bragged, looking her directly in the eyes.
It was then that the girl didn't say anything else, she just kept her gaze on his. She hated feeling intrigued by Jaehyun himself. Because right now she didn't even feel like she was in Kosmo, with Jaehyun in front of her looking directly at her, she didn't even feel real. She was getting into fire and she knew it.
And she didn't know if she could escape from it.
For a moment she felt a heaviness on her shoulders and warmth surrounded her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and notice that the jacket that Jaehyun was wearing over his hoodie was now over her body.
"You were trembling like a chihuahua," Jaehyun explained. "Don't consider it an act of kindness, I'm just returning the favor after having done my jobs those two weeks... at least now they won't kick me out of school this evaluation period," he continued.
"I'm not sure if I should feel good knowing that I'm indirectly helping an illegal business," she replied, adjusting the jacket.
"No one needs to know," he replied. "Good luck tonight, don't get lost too much because things get interesting," he said, and without further ado, he turned around to go back to his friends.
(Y/N) stood perplexed in her place, and it was then that she felt Jungwoo's presence next to her.
"What was that?"
"I have no idea."
_______________________________________________
The next morning, after putting her books back in her backpack, (Y/N) looked at the jacket folded inside her bag, feeling a heaviness and remembering the events of the previous night.
The rumors were true... Jung Jaehyun was the best street racer in the area, because he not only competed once the day before, but two more times, winning 3 victories in a short time, and to be honest, it had been impressive.
She hadn't run into him again after the brief conversation they had, and even though she had been waiting for it... she and Jungwoo bolted from the place when they heard the police sirens approaching Kosmo.
The last thing she needed was for her parents to find out about her escapade.
She didn't hear anything from Daeho the night before, she even doubted if he had really gone to the race.
She didn't want to give too much importance to the situation, which is why she chose to continue her path through the school hallways, hoping to return the jacket that was at the bottom of her bag and trying to divert her thoughts to something other than Jaehyun.
And as if she had summoned him, she saw him under the entrance roof as he leaned against the wall and took a drag from the cigarette in his hands. (Y/N) checked the day's weather and cursed when she noticed the raindrops falling lightly. She had forgotten about today's forecast.
Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts as he watched the rain and let out the smoke in his chest.
The bruises were still visible.
She stopped abruptly to take the jacket out of her bag and, without saying anything, approached him and handed it back to him.
Jaehyun looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blew out the smoke from his lungs.
"You're welcome," Jaehyun said as he took the jacket in his hands.
"Yes, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks flush.
"Where did you park your car?" Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.
"I didn't bring it with me, my mom confiscated it," she blurted out without thinking, and when she turned to look at Jaehyun, she noticed a mocking smile on his face.
"Oh, mom took away your Porsche," he pouted mockingly and shook his head. "Come on, I'll take you home."
"I'm fine, Jaehyun. Thanks," she said as she looked at the rain.
"Come on, it wouldn't be the first time I've taken you. Plus, the school won't be closing anytime soon."
She thought about all the possibilities that crossed her mind, but something about her was excited to think about the ride home.
"Where's your car?"
______________________________________________
It was fortunate that his car was nearby.
Jaehyun turned on the heater as soon as they got into the car, and without further ado, the journey began.
It was just like the first time they had been together in the same car. Without saying anything, both with their eyes focused on the road, and it was then that they both realized that they didn't have a topic of conversation. The few times they had interacted had been about their interests and what they needed from each other at the moment. However, Jaehyun didn't know anything about (Y/N) that he hadn't heard at school, and (Y/N) didn't know anything about Jaehyun that she hadn't heard in the hallways or from her parents about the people from Neo Zone.
At this point, they weren't even acquaintances.
They had just coincided in something and that was it.
(Y/N) took the opportunity to send a text message to Jungwoo and tell him that he no longer needed to pick her up, without explaining more, she sent the text and subsequently, Jaehyun's phone rang.
The boy sighed and cautiously looked for a quick place to park even with the sound of the mobile phone ringing filling the car. He took the device and (Y/N) could notice the slight tension that seized Jaehyun's body as he read the caller ID, without thinking twice he answered the call.
The brunette felt weird being able to hear Jaehyun's conversation, so she tried to distract herself with something else. First with her phone, then looking out the window where she could see the rain beginning to dissipate, and then she could hear a "I'll be there in a moment" that made her react and turn to see him end the call.
The boy scratched his neck and then brought his hands to his face to rub it, let out a deep sigh, and looked at (Y/N).
“Uh, I need to do something quickly and your house is still a bit far... Do you mind if we stop by that place first? It's on the way” he asked with no other option.
“Does this has to do with your job?” She asked.
It took him a moment to respond: — No, it's not about my job. You can stay in the car, it's just that, I really need to get there.
After seeing Jaehyun's face and not being able to decipher what he was trying to say, (Y/N) nodded, not very sure, and that was enough for Jaehyun to quickly start the car.
Thousands of thoughts ran through (Y/N)'s mind. Eager to know where they were headed; she didn't know if she should believe Jaehyun that this wasn't about picking up or delivering goods or meeting someone who worked on the same thing he did.
She was only sure they wouldn't go to Neo Zone because they were far from there.
She could see how impatient Jaehyun seemed while driving, and that only made her even more nervous. What exactly did they tell him in that call to make him like this? She wanted to ask, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer.
She didn't know how many minutes had passed, she only knew that the rain stopped just before the car parked and she finally noticed where they were. A gray building was a few meters away from them, and it wasn't hard to recognize it.
It was the National Rehabilitation Center.
A long and large building, which was accompanied by an extensive garden, and from the outside, you could see that there were a huge number of rooms inside it.
Her head was flooded with even more questions knowing that this was the place where Jaehyun was needed.
“You can stay in the car if you want. I'll be back in a moment” Jaehyun said as he opened the car door and got out.
Curiosity got the better of her.
And that's why she got out of the car and followed Jaehyun. Without saying anything, they entered the building where they were immediately greeted by a nurse who seemed to know the boy well.
“Jaehyun, I'm glad you were able to answer the call” said the woman as she greeted them. “We need to talk to you”.
The boy nodded and turned to (Y/N), who just nodded and said, “I’ll wait for you.”
He smiled slightly and walked with the person until they reached the reception where she was able to pull out a few papers.
It had been, perhaps, about two weeks since the last time he had been there. A place he was very familiar with and where he regularly went; he had become good friends with the friendly nurses who apparently didn't care where he came from.
He was grateful that the nurse didn't say anything when his bruises and wounds were clearly visible.
“Has something happened?” he asked after a few seconds.
“ He's fine” the nurse said with a smile “but we need to talk to you about his stay here” she continued.
That's when the small smile on his face disappeared. Jaehyun knew what she was referring to. He swallowed hard before the nurse could speak.
“The payment is overdue, Jaehyun," the nurse confirmed what he already knew. "We care about Sicheng's health, but this is not my concern. You know that the center relies on patients' monthly payments, and the administrators in charge of them request them punctually," she commented as she handed Jaehyun one of the papers. "I understand your situation and Sicheng's, but there's nothing more I can do even if I wanted to; I've tried to delay the payment as much as I could, but unfortunately, it can't be delayed any longer. The administrators expect the payment soon, or we'll have to discharge Sicheng and send him home," she concluded.
It was difficult at first for Jaehyun to process everything the nurse had said, as more than ten things ran through his mind at once; one of them being his good friend Winwin, then, thinking about how he could quickly get the money he knew he owed to the clinic, considering the beating he had just received for not being able to complete a sale. So, what would he do? He still needed half the money for that monthly payment, and between the clinic's expenses and those of his own house for his family, he couldn't see a way to get the money on time.
He would have to ask for more stash to sell if he wanted to do it.
He couldn't let them discharge Sicheng.
Not while he hasn't made progress.
"I'm sorry," Jaehyun said. "I... I still have a little left to complete the payment. It's just that lately, it's been harder, and... how much time do I have to pay it?" the breathless boy asked.
"Considering that it's only the first few days of the month, and the payment is already two weeks late... I can't give you more than three days," lamented the nurse, making a grimace.
"I'll try the impossible to bring you that money on Saturday. Sicheng still can't be discharged; he hasn't progressed the way he was supposed to," he affirmed, a slight pout evident in his mouth.
What a contrast there was between his expression and the bruises, accompanied by the tattoos on his body.
Being in the Rehabilitation Center was the place where he could be most vulnerable.
"How is he?" he asked, lowering his gaze.
"Same as the last time you came to visit him," commented the nurse. "We're doing what we can, Jaehyun, but as long as he stays the way he is, we can't move forward. We need his will to help him."
When no words came out of his mouth, the nurse continued: "Jaehyun, you know you can go see him."
For Jaehyun, each visit was just as difficult as the day he decided to admit Sicheng to that clinic, and each one left him more tormented than the previous.
He would give everything if that means that Sicheng would go back to be himself.
He nodded after a few seconds and cautiously glanced back, where, not far away, (Y/N) was reading some brochures and observing the facilities around them; when she noticed the boy's gaze on her body, she walked toward him carefully.
The brunette didn't really know what came to his mind or what caused those words to come out of his mouth, but when he wanted to back off, it was too late, because they had already been expressed.
"Are you coming with me?"
And although (Y/N) had no idea why they were there or where they were going, she accepted anyway. So they found themselves walking down the long whitewashed hallway until they reached an elevator, and then they went up about three floors.
The atmosphere was cold, the hallways and rooms were well-lit, and they could see a few nurses and what she assumed were doctors walking around in their lab coats.
Jaehyun didn't know why he was allowing himself to show her that part of his life, especially when it was such a fragile part for him. He had tried to protect it cautiously for the past few months, and now he was there, accompanied by Hwang (Y/N), with the person he never thought he would meet at that moment.
He hadn't really thought of her when he asked if they could go there before going home; his head was only thinking about the clinic and Sicheng when the call had ended, and it was too late to change his mind when they had set off.
He just hoped the girl would be discreet enough.
They reached room 119, where Jaehyun pushed the door open and where in a wheelchair, they both could see Winwin, who was facing the large window of his room, looking outside.
(Y/N)'s surprised face did not go unnoticed; she was confused in a thousand ways. She knew who Dong Sicheng was; everyone in her school knew him, however... she thought he had simply left the city. She had no idea he was in that place. So in her head, thousands of questions arose about him, why he was there, and why he was in a wheelchair.
She could only react when she heard Jaehyun's voice: "Hey, buddy. How are you today?"
Nothing.
That's what he received.
Jaehyun walked over to him, and when he stood next to him, he crouched down enough to be able to observe him better. Winwin had his gaze fixed forward, his cheeks were a little rosy, his hair fell over his forehead, and his hands were resting on his legs.
Jaehyun sighed.
"Oh, I see you've taken a shower today," the boy mentioned with a smile, and again, there was not a single response.
When he noticed the presence of the girl, who had remained in her place throughout the visit and hesitated to approach them, he spoke: "Today I'm not alone; I brought company. Maybe you'll find it helpful to hear another voice that isn't mine or Lucas's... or the nurses'," the boy teased and gestured to the brunette to come closer, who obeyed. "Do you remember (Y/N)? She was in our class; we've coincided a couple of times, that's why she's here."
"Hello, Winwin," she greeted softly. Jaehyun made a grimace and stood up from his place to be at the girl's height.
"Don't expect an answer," Jaehyun commented. "There won't be one."
"I thought... I thought Winwin had moved to China," (Y/N) confessed.
Jaehyun snorted: "Yes, that's what everyone thinks."
Those words took her by surprise, and it was when she decided to remain silent, watching from a distance the little interaction between the boys: it was just Jaehyun saying a few words while adjusting Sicheng's hair without expecting any response.
Dong Sicheng and Jung Jaehyun had been friends since birth, being two little boys who grew up on the streets of Neo Zone, it was easy to click with each other. Winwin's parents had decided to move to the infamous area after his father had met Lee Sooman in some low neighborhood in Wenzhou, China, and he had offered him a job where he could have his family at least a little better off than in his country.
Winwin had not joined the gang since it had not been of great urgency to him; his father was the active member needed by the family, and if he were honest... the farthest he could be from the Neo Zone gang... the better. He was always Jaehyun's companion at all times. Best friends who shared every detail of their lives for years, Jaehyun took care of Sicheng, and he provided the most sincere friendship he had ever had... then, a while later, Lucas Wong and Mark Lee joined their adventures.
Four boys from Neo Zone with the desire to conquer the world, but unable to leave their sad reality behind.
Jaehyun still remembers that fateful day a year ago, and he still feels like it happened yesterday.
The guilt gnawed at him every passing day, terrorizing each of his nights as he wondered: Why?
Why did something like that have to happen to someone as good as Dong Sicheng was?
A year ago, when Jaehyun had chosen to go deliver a package of stash after Winwin had asked him to stay and keep him company, and he had denied that request... that decision still drilled into his head.
Winwin's family and he had been robbed in their own home. Knowing who had done it, the reasons for the event, and who had ordered such inhumanity, were still a mystery. When Winwin's parents along with him tried to flee the place by leaving in a car; it had not been the wisest decision they had made at the moment... because not long after, outside of Neo Zone, after the group of people who had robbed their home managed to shoot a clean shot in one of the tires of the rear part of the car, causing Winwin's father to lose control of his own vehicle and not a few meters later it would impact hard enough for the car to be shot in another direction, causing immediate damage.
Jaehyun only remembers receiving a call from Lucas and minutes later finding himself at the entrance to the Emergency Room of the General Hospital, where a stretcher with Winwin's body was being transported.
He remembers seeing the blood. He remembers hearing Lucas and Mark's screams asking to see their friend. He remembers standing still at the entrance to the Emergency Room.
But above all, he remembers thinking, what would have happened if instead of deciding to go sell that stupid package of stash, what if he had stayed at home with his mother and Sicheng?
A week in a coma and a diagnosis of paraplegia was what made Jaehyun lose his mind.
It had been a year since the accident, and Winwin had not even progressed a bit. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, it had been difficult to help the injury in the dorsal spine that he had suffered; the damage had been partial, Winwin could handle his movements and his sensitivity to walk again... if only he would come out of the state of shock he was still in.
There were too many things he experienced in so few minutes, so much physical and mental pain for what happened, that now, Sicheng couldn't react.
It had been a year since Sicheng hasn’t spoken.
The doctors assured that he could hear and understand everything, but he was simply mentally tired to process the words and make them come out of his mouth.
His body didn't react as it should either.
And until Winwin had the strength of his own will to do it, the only thing they could do at that clinic was to keep him on medication so that the pains would not persist.
But Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore.
What he would give for Sicheng to be able to enjoy life again.
Unfortunately, the visits he made to the hospital... didn't last more than half an hour since that was the place's regulation. So, his farewell was as quick as his arrival.
"See you on Saturday, Win," he put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't give the nurses too much trouble."
He could swear he heard Winwin laugh and say goodbye.
Even though that really didn't happen.
(Y/N), who throughout the visit remained silent observing both boys, could feel her heart in her hand. She had never believed she would see that vulnerability on Jaehyun's part, and knowing what it was about because of the importance his best friend had in his life, made her heart ache with sadness even more.
"Now I'll take you home," murmured Jaehyun when he passed by her without saying anything else.
The girl glanced back, looking for the last time at Sicheng's silhouette, who hadn't moved from the same place since they had both arrived in the room. She took a deep breath and left the room when Jaehyun was already far enough away.
She didn't know what to say. There were no words of comfort for the situation, and she knew it, that's why they both silently said goodbye to the nurse who had received them and continued like that until they entered the car, which was not parked far away.
Jaehyun allowed himself to lean back on the driver's seat as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.
"I guess you have many questions," Jaehyun said without opening his eyes.
She had.
"I don't know if I really should ask them," (Y/N) confessed as she looked at him.
The boy remained silent for a few seconds.
"Sicheng and his parents had an accident a year ago," Jaehyun said, opening his eyes to look at her. "An accident that was caused."
"By whom?"
"No one knows," he replied, taking his hands to the steering wheel of the car and squeezing it tightly. "His parents died instantly... Winwin arrived at the hospital in critical condition; it was a miracle that he came out alive."
"Why...?"
"Why is he in this clinic?" he interrupted, and she nodded with a knot in her stomach. "The accident had a great impact and damaged on his dorsal spine; the doctors diagnosed partial paraplegia; his sensitivity in his legs was minimal, and he couldn't make any extensive movements with his legs that didn't make him cry from the pain. After seven days, he woke up from the coma and realized everything that had happened, including my uncle's death... he hasn't said a single word since then... the doctors said it would take time for him to recover, and that eventually, he would speak, but Winwin doesn't have the will to do it; he's still in a kind of state of shock, and that has delayed his recovery," he explained, unable to see her in the eyes.
"Who... who pays for all this if Sicheng's parents aren't here?" she asked curiously.
Jaehyun sighed; "For the first few months, my boss covered part of the monthly fee, until suddenly he stopped doing it. Since then, I've been taking care of it."
The girl's expression was one of surprise.
"How do you do it?"
"That’s the reason I'm in the business that I'm in," he replied, changing his gaze to her, being able to see directly into her eyes and causing her to feel a shiver run through her body.
There was something about those bruised eyes that had done something to her.
"It must be hard," the girl said in a murmur.
Jaehyun snorted and nodded slowly. He hated being seen in his less tough character. The only person he allowed himself to be like that with was Lucas... or Winwin. And for a stranger to see him like that... made his blood boil.
"You know? Winwin loved dancing," Jaehyun said, smiling sideways as the memory came to his mind.
That fact wasn't strange for (Y/N), she remembers seeing Winwin at the school theater... the only boy from Neo Zone who was part of the dance team. She didn't even know how he had managed that, but he must have been good if the Kwangya students allowed him to be in the group.
"Now nobody knows if he'll be able to do it again," Jaehyun continued. "Winwin was the only one of all of us who really had a future, he wasn't even a gang member... he hadn't even gone through his initiation, and look how he ended up."
(Y/N) swallowed.
"Mark Lee is no longer friends with you, right?" The girl asked curiously.
"Things got complicated with him after the accident."
The brunette fell silent for a moment and then shifted her body to face him.
“Haven't you thought about looking for another alternative?” she questioned again “You know? If you let me help you, maybe I could get you a position at my father's company and...”
“Shh. I think I've told you it's not that easy.”
“ But it could be” she insisted.
Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head as he looked away from her.
“I not only have to cover this quota, I also have to bring money home, for my mom and for Jeno. It's the easiest way to get what I need” he confessed “besides, I told you once... in Neo Zone there's no way out, once you're in, you're in forever.”
The tattoos on his neck were what sentenced him to a miserable life forever.
But as long as that miserable life helped to ease the pain and managed to make Sicheng return to who he was, it would be worth it.
“It doesn't have to be like this” she murmured, focusing on her own hands.
"You don't know what it's like to be part of this," he countered in a low voice.
How had they opened up to have such a conversation so suddenly?
The girl felt her lip tremble as she remembered the scene she had witnessed minutes earlier in that room, and she couldn't help but think about how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a way... knowing that physically they were present, but mentally they weren't there.
(Y/N) had always had a heart easy to move, but she really never believed that Jung Jaehyun would be able to achieve that.
"Is that why you insist on continuing school?" she asked, looking at him again.
"Students are my best clients," he replied with a half smile.
(Y/N) didn't know how to take that.
She closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "I can help you with a few more assignments," she assured. "But only for a while and in my own way. But, I don't want you to involve me in any of the problems you're in, it will only be school matters. I don't want to be associated with anything you do, if anything you do is enough to help Sicheng, I'll try not to question it."
Jaehyun couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"If that helps you help me and me stay in school..." he paused "...I might be willing."
"What's the reason for your change of heart?"
"Because if I were in the same situation as you, I would also want someone to somehow help me," she replied, hugging herself.
The boy nodded with a half-smile, and without further ado, he started the car.
"Only school matters," Jaehyun confirmed.
She definitely didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.
______________________________________________
The day after the visit to the National Rehabilitation Center, something happened that made (Y/N) unable to concentrate enough during class hours. Her mind kept going back to the place over and over again, but how horrible was the situation the boy was in. One day you're capable, and the next... not even being able to move. How could anyone endure that?
At some point in the morning, during the physics period, her mind was spinning, her leg moving anxiously, and she bit her lips. She tried to erase the conversation she and Jaehyun had had the day before a thousand times and tried to erase the image of Winwin in that room.
But it was impossible.
Just when she thought she had succeeded, the image returned immediately.
She hated being someone who cared too much about things.
Because she knew something wasn't right with her when she found herself in front of the doors of the Rehabilitation Center.
Her coat shielded her from the cold breeze on that day, and as she clutched her bag to her, she didn't think anymore and entered the place.
She felt a little out of place when she entered the center, but after a few minutes, a presence came in front of her.
"Hello, good morning," the nurse greeted her. "Oh, you're the girl who accompanied Jaehyun yesterday, right?" She asked in confusion.
The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm Hwang (Y/N). I'm Jaehyun's classmate... and Winwin's."
"How nice of you to visit us... are you here to see Winwin? It's rare to see someone come for him other than Lucas or Jaehyun," confessed the nurse.
"Um, yes... I could say I'm here for a visit," the girl smiled. "But, to be honest... yesterday I overheard a bit of his conversation with Jaehyun... I know Winwin's payment is delayed this month."
"Yes, usually Jaehyun finds a way to pay on time," she sighed. "But this month it's been delayed for a few weeks, and if I'm honest, I've been doing everything I can to keep Winwin from being discharged."
The girl nodded and asked, "Do you think Winwin's treatment will still take time?"
"I can't answer that accurately," admitted the nurse. "It's all a matter of Winwin's will, but to be honest, right now he has no will at all, so far as we're concerned, and if the payment continues to be monthly... he could spend another half a year here."
The girl understood the situation, and although she would like to think more about it... she didn't, so she didn't even know when she blurted out those words: "Is there any way I can pay for the next six months?"
The nurse's eyes widened with surprise, and she looked at the girl with enthusiasm. "Are you serious?"
"Yes," she replied. "I would like to help one of my classmates as long as I can. Money is not a problem," she confessed.
"Wow... thank you, i really appreciate that. Winwin is a boy with a lot of potential from what we know, and although we're sad that we haven't made the progress we want, we know that someday he will leave through that door better," (Y/N) smiled nostalgically.
"I just need to ask you something," the brunette confessed. "Could you not tell Jaehyun that I've paid?" she questioned.
"I don't know if it's easy to lie to someone like Jaehyun," the nurse laughed. "But since it's something good you've done... I'll try," the nurse walked to the desk with (Y/N) behind her. "(Y/N)?" She called and paid attention. "I know there may be many things about Jaehyun... but he's a good guy... beneath all that facade; he really has something good."
Those words hammered in her head. "Thank you."
_____________________________________________
(Y/N) reviewed the same line of text she had read five times now on some molasses topic. Trying to understand the topic deeply.
The air coming lightly through one of the library windows was enough for her to try to hug herself to take warmth, read a bit from the physics books on the table, and impatiently move her leg.
She didn't know at what exact moment a tall figure stood in front of her, but what she did know was that that person didn't seem very happy.
"Why did you do it?" Jaehyun let out while looking directly at her.
"I don't know what you're talking about," (Y/N) replied while looking at her book attentively.
"I know you know. I thought I told you I don't need your money," Jaehyun repeated with annoyance.
"I still don't know what you're talking about," the girl stopped seeing her book and changed her gaze to the boy.
"Don't play with me," the boy exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why did I went to the center today and they told me Winwin's treatment has been paid for the next six months?"
The girl shrugged. "It could have been your boss."
"My boss doesn't give a shit about Winwin!" Exclaimed the boy. "I told you I didn't need your money, I was clear, I don't want to owe anything to anyone from Kwangya."
"You don't need to pay me back," the girl assured, standing up in front of Jaehyun. "With the money you'll save from that, you'll be able to sell less."
"It seems you don't understand a fucking thing!" Jaehyun raised your arms with annoyance. "Paying or not paying for Sicheng's treatment, it doesn't change the fact that I sell drugs!" The boy explained regardless of where they were; they were lucky the library wasn't being occupied by other people.
"Everyone starts somewhere!" the girl attacked. "I just wanted to take a weight off your shoulders."
Jaehyun scoffed and looked at her with a sarcastic smile.
"Why? I don't need your pity! If you hadn't accompanied me yesterday, you'd still be thinking Winwin had moved to China! You didn't give a fucking damn even when he was your classmate!"
(Y/N) started gathering her things and putting them in her backpack.
"Saying thank you would have been enough, Jaehyun!" the girl remarked. "I know you can do better with your life," she murmured as she turned to look at him.
Jaehyun's blood was boiling; he hated when people interfered in his life, as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.
"You don't know anything about me! You said it yourself; we're not even friends," he retorted.
"And what if I want to get to know you better?" the girl exclaimed without thinking. They both fell silent, staring into each other's eyes. (Y/N) didn't even want to say those words, but she did.
She couldn't deny that Jung Jaehyun was intriguing. She didn't know why. She didn't know why she had been avoiding him for weeks, but since that night at Neo Zone, when they had talked about the deal, she knew it would be difficult to shake him off, and when she had... something inside her wanted them to meet again. Why are things so difficult? They are two different people from different backgrounds; why would she suddenly be interested in him? Was it because she saw him vulnerable the day before? Or was it because she believed there was something good in him, just like the nurse had said?
She must be crazy to think like that.
"You really don't want to do it," Jaehyun said with a bit more calmness.
"I know you can get out out of that hole, Jaehyun."
"Winwin's parents tried, and look how that ended up!" he exclaimed. "There's no way out in Neo Zone, get that through your head," he explained. "There's nothing good about me. I don't even know why you think so, just because yesterday you saw something different or because I drove you home a couple of times, doesn't mean you know everything about me!"
"Stop acting like a fucking jerk."
"Like a jerk? This is reality! Your act of charity isn't going to change my life. I was born a dealer, and that's how my life will end!"
"I really believe there's something good in you."
"Well, keep believing it."
"If you ever feel grateful, you know where to find me," the girl said, gathering her things and walking out of the library.
Jaehyun cursed under his breath and shook his hands in frustration. In just a few days, the girl had managed to push his buttons faster than anyone else from Neo Zone.
But when he saw her walk out the door, why did he feel regret for lashing out at her?
_______________________________________________
The week had been slow this time. (Y/N) and Jaehyun had been avoiding each other like the plague, not even looking at each other when they crossed paths in the hallway. For the girl, it seemed like childish behavior, especially coming from Jaehyun and his usual façade; now he seemed nothing more than someone throwing a tantrum after she only wanted to help him.
But she still thought she really wanted to get to know him better.
What was behind his façade? What was it that made him who he was? Not the boy from Neo Zone, not the dealer everyone knew... who was Jeong Jaehyun really?
That question had been on her mind for weeks, and it disappointed her a bit to know that she might never know the answers to those doubts she had about the boy.
Today was warm compared to the weather last week. The sun was shining brightly, and luckily for (Y/N), her mother had decided to return her car. So her day had started off on the right foot, and hoping for a good day, she took the opportunity to stop by her favorite coffee shop in Kwangya. Ordering her usual vanilla latte and just before it was time to pay, a thought invaded her mind, and after debating it internally, she decided to follow her thoughts.
An hour and a half later, when she was the last one to leave her physics class, someone blocked her path at the classroom door. Holding her book to her chest, after the unexpected startle, she looked ahead to find no one but Jaehyun. Who stood silently in front of her, with the same leather jacket he used to wear, the same combination of marijuana and vanilla scent, and with the same enchanting eyes, that she had just noticed.
She was in dangerous territory.
And she knew it.
"I need to go to my next class, Jaehyun," the girl said shortly.
For a few seconds, the boy in front of her didn't say anything, he just watched her, until he sighed and slowly said, "Thank you."
Short and to the point, he didn't say anything else, and that was enough to make (Y/N)'s heart flutter in a thousand ways.
"For the coffee," the boy finished. "And for the notes."
"I did my part, I told you I would help you," said (Y/N) as she fiddled with her fingers.
"I thought you wouldn't after the last time we met," Jaehyun confessed.
"I'm sticking to that."
A small silence ensued. Two people face to face. With thousands of doubts between them and things to resolve. What had drawn them together? How was it that the universe managed to put two completely different people in the same place?
"Did you mean it?" Jaehyun asked, and when he noticed that (Y/N) didn't understand what he meant, he continued. "About wanting to get to know me more."
(Y/N) swallowed hard and looking him in the eyes, nodded.
"I still believe there's something good in you."
"Why?"
"I don't know yet," she replied honestly. "And it's killing me. A while ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you, not even to cross paths, but now, I don't know what's changed, but every time I try to stay away, it's like something brings me back here," she confessed, leaving Jaehyun speechless, who just watched her, trying to decipher everything she was saying.
It was killing him too.
"Let's go to my car," he said.
"Huh?" she asked, confused.
"You want to know more about me, then get in my car," he said again, this time making his way to the parking lot, with (Y/N) behind him, who didn't say a single word, just followed his lead.
What was he doing?
When they reached the car, Jaehyun opened the passenger door, causing (Y/N) to get in without protesting. Then Jaehyun got into the driver's seat and without further ado, started the engine. She didn't know what was happening or what would happen next, but right now she could only trust Jaehyun.
Even though she didn't know how bad an idea that might be.
A few minutes later, as they had traveled a long distance, (Y/N) noticed they were approaching Neo Zone, and with her eyes wide open, she panicked.
"This is me," Jaehyun said out of nowhere, catching the girl's attention. "See all these streets? This is where I belong. This is what I am," he explained carefully.
(Y/N) looked out the window, a couple of people smoking on the sidewalk, others passing joints, and other silent streets. The houses weren't that big... rather, they looked cramped. Unlike what she was used to, to her lifestyle, this didn't seem like it would be enough for a family.
But what did she know with the privilege she had?
"I grew up here, this is what I know," he commented. "Most people are born and die here, it's something that seems to be already written," he continued as his car slowed down. "Those of us from here have a different perspective on life... people from Kwangya lives for the money... we live to survive, and although it's getting harder and harder, we manage to do it," the car finally stopped, and still looking out the window, (Y/N) saw a small house in front of them. One story, not much to describe or point out, it was small but for some reason, it looked cozy.
(Y/N) changed her gaze to Jaehyun, who was still looking ahead and spoke.
"Is this your house?"
Jaehyun nodded.
(Y/N) smiled softly.
"Would you invite me in?"
______________________________________________
He doesn't know how (Y/N) managed to have an effect on him, but now they were there, inside his little house, (Y/N) carefully examining the walls around them and analyzing every aspect of the small space.
He was grateful there were no one at home.
"It looks cozy," (Y/N) said as she looked at one of the frames hanging on the wall.
"I guess it's not even a third of your house," Jaehyun assured to (Y/N).
“And no matter how many people are there, it always feels lonely," she confessed. "It's like no one leaves anything there, like it's something unimportant. As if it's not a home," she finished.
Jaehyun looked at her gently, and as she looked around, thousands of things went through his mind.
"To be honest with you," the girl spoke. "I see more vibes from Jeno in this house than yours," she said. "Many things here seem related to Jeno... but I don't see many things related to you..." she continued. "It's like you don't even think about staying here for long."
"I don't plan on leaving Neo Zone," Jaehyun asserted, crossing his arms.
"Don't you want a different future?"
"There's no future for me," Jaehyun pointed out. "And if there were, I'd prefer to give it to Jeno. He has much more to live for than I do."
"You also have a life to live. A future to write, you can change what is today, for something better," (Y/N) turned around to face the boy.
"I have no way out," the boy replied. "Do you think this is easy? After seeing my dad die and doing everything my bosses ask me to do no matter what. Taking care of my mom, Jeno, and now Winwin? Huh? Making sure Winwin becomes who he was again and that my brother doesn't end up being a fucking addict are enough reasons for me not to leave here," Jaehyun concluded, getting dangerously close to her, with a few centimeters separating them.
The words echoed in her head strongly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't pity me," Jaehyun said under his breath.
"It's not that. It's just that every time I think about all this and now that I see your place and I don't see anything that seems to belong to you, it makes me think that's what you're looking for, to belong to something and leave here as soon as there's an opportunity,"
Jaehyun looked directly at her, not knowing what to say. And afraid to think that maybe she was right.
Because yes, maybe he wanted to get out of there, along with his mom, Jeno, and Winwin; maybe he wanted to do something with his life that wasn't illegal, but what was the point of thinking about it when he knew he wouldn't make it? He was afraid to admit that he wanted to be able to change things, to be able to make his family okay, that no shadow from the past would follow them, that they would have a place where they could forge a clean and safe future.
"This has never been about what I want," Jaehyun commented with a future. "Since I was born, everything around me was the gang. After my father's death, I knew what was coming, and I knew I would never be able to get out of it. It doesn’t matter what I want. It matter what my boss wants, he has that kind of power, no one below him has their own decision. The whole life of Neo Zone is ruled by him," he concluded, even closer to her.
(Y/N) looked him in the eyes, her breath uncontrolled. Her chest heaved, and her hands were sweating.
"What do you want, Jaehyun?" she whispered.
The boy paused for a moment and looked at her lips.
"Now?" he asked, and she nodded. "Would it be unrealistic to say that I want to kiss you?"
"How realistic would it be to say that I want you to do it?
She didn't even finish the question because Jaehyun's lips collided firmly with hers. The boy's long hands slid through (Y/N)'s soft hair, her hair smelling of lavender shampoo. He gently covered her cheek with one of his rough hands, and she melted into the touch.
It wasn't a hurried kiss, as (Y/N) thought it would be; actually, Jaehyun was taking the time to savor every passing second. As if this moment would disappear at any minute and he wanted to hold onto it.
Was he looking for something to belong to?
His hand moved from her cheek to her waist, and she took the opportunity to press her body against his and release a moan of pleasure. As if she felt complete leaning against Jaehyun's warmth.
As if it was something they both longed for for a long time.
And even though she wanted to continue with the act, they were severely interrupted when a car horn sounded incessantly outside the house, causing them to separate with tremendous confusion. (Y/N)'s red cheeks were enough to make Jaehyun's heart race, but when he heard another horn, he took her hand and they walked outside in hurry.
And then, there was Jeno, being thrown out of the back of a car, blood streaming from a cut on his eyebrow, bruises scattered all over his body, and falling firmly to the ground after being thrown.
"I want this to be the last time your brother sets foot in our zone. Next time it won't be him we throw," the familiar voice of a boy from the opposing gang spoke up. Chris. Who was with the window down and smiling maliciously. "Neither will it be you, Jung. It will be the girl who will end up like this,"
Jaehyun moved abruptly from his place to try to reach the car, but it left as fast as it could, (Y/N) shocked to hear those words, didn't do anything more than approach Jeno to help him up. Then Jaehyun cursed under his breath and looked into the distance at the girl and her brother together.
And his chest tightened as he realized that now, she too had been involved.
And he believed there was no turning back, because she was right... Jaehyun wanted to belong to something.
But how selfish would it be to belong to (Y/N)?
a/n: well now you know what happened to Winwin TT. Once again I’m sorry if this took too long I promise I’ll try to update sooner this time!
taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)
taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae
#nctzen#nct#nct au#nct imagines#nct x reader#mark#nct 127#jaehyun#nct scenarios#nct x you#bad boy jaehyun#jaehyun x y/n#jaehyun x you#jaehyun x reader#jung jaehyun#bad boy au#gang au#nct jaehyun#jaehyun au#jaehyun fanfic#nct angst#nct fluff#nct u#nct smut#nct fanfic#nct gang#jaehyun scenarios#jaehyun smut#jaehyun ff
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Hi, it’s me again!! >_<
When I tell you I gobbled that headcannon post up, I went down on two knees and howled /hj
Anyways, do you think you can do some headcannons on Aventurine with Bodyguard! Reader if you have the time? But this time, with a twist :3
See, reader does care for Aven, you truly do, but before that, you were tasked by Everflame mansion and by Duke inferno himself to kill Aventurine. But you can’t bring yourself to, no, not when you’ve fallen head over heels for him.
When reader does become Aven’s bodyguard, you maintain that serious, no nonsense demeanor, but if he looks closely enough, he’ll see the lovestruck puppy hiding under the hardened shell that they’ve put on.
But the guilt catches up. One day, at least a few months after reader’s betrayal to Duke Inferno, you catch sight of an assassin sent to finish the job they couldn’t do. And so, the secret is finally revealed.
Personally, I think Aventurine would be betrayed, like very, how could he not be? He’s always kept people at an arm’s length away, and when he finally lets you in his walls, and starts falling for thier charm, this secret of yours comes out. He fires you almost immediately, but the way he stares after you with misty eyes doesn’t go unnoticed.
The next months were absolute hell. Reader found a new job as a barista, and is quite enjoying the quaint and simply life it provides, even if you do miss Aventuirne. He’s probably still seething at you, right?.
Wrong. Because you’ve gone MIA, Aventurine been scouring all over the place, trying so hard to find you. He’s loosing sleep, forgetting to eat, all things that you would chide him about. Aeons, he misses you so much.
And when he does find you, he’s overjoyed, and when the two finally reunite, the first thing you do is to apologize deceiving him. But he forgave your silly ass a long time ago, why else would he have spent the last months trying to find you?
Long story short, it’s a happy ending, Aventurine couldn’t be more grateful he has you to be his bodyguard, his closest confidant, and most importantly, his lover <33
I’m so sorry if I went on a ramble, but this idea’s been plaguing me so bad I literally can’t focus on anything else 😭😭
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWAR TO WRITIG FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE THE MOMENT I SAW IT I ADORE YOUR BODYGUARD!READER x AVEN SERIES btw thank you for sharing the c.ai bot
I feel like the only thing I do with each post is apologize for taking so long but right now I like from work trip to work trip so I'm actually really really sorry this madness should end soon 😭😭😭😭 Hope you'll enjoy this post, it was my goal to finish it before version 2.1
bodyguard/assassin!reader x Aventurine
characters - Aventurine
notes- gn!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, pining, no beta
It was not a fast prosses for the both of to form a genuine connection. Moreover, you know goddamn well you shouldn't get attached to him.
And at first it seems easy, like yeah another rich playboy, no big deal, you've delt with people like him before, right? Right??????????????
Yeah until suddenly he's not just a rich playboy.
The more you notice how deeply lonely and unhappy he is, the more your heart softens towards him. And the more your heart softens, the more he relaxes around you, seeing behind your cold exterior.
He's not used to people caring about him. And yes, of course he knows it's your job but still, for a man who never had a real friend before, he surely can appreciate having someone who not only won't leave him but also will listen to him and look after him.
And the part about you being paid to do it? Oh well. It's the same guy who offers you to use him as you wish and who's greeting line is "I can play a role of a friend :)"
Mf is FRIENDLESS, LONELY and PATHETIC /affectionally
He'll take what he can get okay.
But goddamn. Don't think he doesn't notice how you started going out of your ways to take care of him. How you make him eat, tend to his small injuries ("my, my, you're my bodyguard, not a doctor. perhaps someone wants a raise, hm?~"), how you drag him out of casino or his office when it's too late.
It drives him crazy. It's not beneficial for you, right? The w h y.
He won't ask. Instead he will watch and slowly fold.
You are probably suffering tho lol. You should just kill him already, you've had so many opportunities to end him. Instead you spoon feed him soup because he claims he has a hangover after a night in the casino. And this little brat looks so smug about it too!!!!
Sometimes he feels like it's too good to be true: you being here, taking care of him, looking after him. The line between professional relationship, friendship and... something more is way too blurry already, and he knows it's dangerous but it just feels so good. Too good.
Duke inferno gets tired eventually. He sends someone to remind you of your mission. To remind you who you really work for.
Well, the duke receives a warning of his own. The dead body of his little messenger.
You know, of course, that the Everflame mansion thugs are not easily intimidated. They will be back. So you better warn Aventurine and tell him everything.
You can't keep lying to him, can you?
Well. It's surprisingly not as easy as you thought. After all, even if they will send someone, you'll just protect Aven like you always do, right? He doesn't have to know. Not about your past, not about your original mission. He keeps his secrets too, so why can't you?
You know goddamn well why tho. You know and yet you still can't bring yourself to tell him the truth.
It goes on like that for several months and Aventurine notices that something is clearly off, something is bothering his darling protector. He tries to pry, to tease, to cling, to pester you. Something to make you open up. Or, at least, get distracted. He can't help but feel anxious. Why are you suddenly so reversed? Do you want to leave his side? Does he not pay you enough? Does he bother you too much? It eats him alive while he tries to mask it by pestering you even more. As if to test you. As if to make sure that it's not the case.
All the hell breaks loose one day when you discover that Duke inferno has sent another assassin to finish the job.
I you spare the details but yeah, your secret was unraveled. And it wasn't pretty at all.
You have never seen emotions so vivid on Aven's face. Part of you always wanted to see him more vulnerable, more open with you. But not like this. Not this look of utter betrayal.
He collects himself quick enough, hiding behind the mask of mock disappointment.
"Hm, well, I recall mentioning that treachery is just another tool of the trade. But it seems like our little deal is not paying off for me anymore" he says with a cold chuckle, shaking his head a little. "After all, you have very little to offer outside of your dog-like loyalty. But seems like this dog bit both hands that fed it".
You were expecting him to call for your arrest but instead he just fires you. It hurts nevertheless.
What hurts even more is that look he gives you when you part ways. It's like his pretty eyes are even more lifeless now.
At first he feels this overwhelming emptiness. It truly feels like the fate is mocking him. One time, just one time, he allowed himself to relax around someone. Just this one time, with this one person who took care of him, who listened to him, who looked out for him. And this person was supposed to kill him.
Then his stupid brain finds another way to torture him. He keeps thinking about the way you have always protected him, the way you took the hit even during the last attack, when Duke Inferno's new assassin tried to get to him. You were ready to leave your past life behind to stay by his side, weren't you?
As soon as he realizes it he goes frantic. Of course he tries to find you asap but of course someone as competent as you would be able to disappear without a trace in no time. You were an assassin, after all. A skilled one too, since he never even suspected you.
This connection the two of you had, this realization that you really cared enough to betray your client, all of this makes him realize that he needs you so, so much. He needs to feel this care again, he need to look at you again, to know that you're here by his side.
He misses you so much. Your nagging, your reassurance, your touch. He's like an addict who felt what it feels like to love and beloved in return for the first time and now he can't live without it.
He doesn't eat or sleep properly, his head plagued by the thoughts about you. What if you forgot all about him? What if you're wounded? Where are you even? His fingers itch to trace your face and your scars.
He thinks about how you would scold him for not taking proper care of himself and it makes him miss you even more.
Aven finds you after a few months. It was honestly a coincidence, one of his subordinates saw you in the coffee shop you were working at.
He though that finding you will calm him down but seeing you from afar, looking somewhat peaceful and cozy, having a regular job... it's too much. And what if you really don't need him anymore? Maybe you never did? After all, he's painfully aware that he probably needs you much more than you need him.
And yet, he decides to take this risk. He's a gambler, after all.
"Somehow I'm not surprised you're good even at that. How come you have never made me coffee before, hm?"
You literally freeze on the spot after hearing this familiar voice next to you.
When you finally get to talk, you can see he's really trying to look calm and collected but how can he? His hands are shaky and his voice cracks. It breaks your heart.
He doesn't even let you finish your apology, pressing a finger to your lips.
"Hush, darling. All is forgiven. In fact, I even have an interesting proposal. I'm can be a generous man after all".
He can't fool you. Not with this shaky soft voice. And he knows it as well.
Please hug that fool and kiss him. Swear that you won't ever leave him again. Swear that you want to be by his side. As his bodyguard, as his friend, as something more. So much more. That's all he really need to feel like he's at home.
#if the ending feel abrupt i'm sorry tumblr said i'm writing too much#i had to cut it short#thank you so much for this request!!!#and fuск this app for making me cut my words it's not my fault i'm graphomaniac#hsr#honkai star rail#walp's writing#aventurine#hsr aventurine#reader insert#aventurine x reader
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TRACK N02. KAMIKAZE - CHOI SEUNGCHEOL
I love the beginnin', the moonlight is callin'
I know we'll go up, but we'll end up freefallin'
You mind if I need to come kamikaze, crash into your way?
✷ wordcount: 7.734 ✷ genre: angst, break-up, smut
✷ This work is a part of "The Loviest Time Universe" - A collection of stories inspired by Carly Rae Jepsen's album
✷ Thea's note: hi everyone this is finally out - the first installment of the loveliest time, hehe. But first let me say a few thank yous. To @ssinboo for giving this a read since the first draft and enduring my thoughts on Discord 24/7. A thank you to @dalamjisung for reading this when i thought this was too sad and nobody would read this. And a special thanks to @toruro mika you are the kindest, thank you for reassuring me when I thought this sucked and was too depressing <3 , and for beta-reading ♥ I hope you all enjoy this (even if it hurts) also seungcheol-enjoyers i am very very sorry. Kkuma 2nd appearance.
I saw you in the deep end
A shipwreck underwater
And I know I shouldn't want that
Loving Seungcheol was not an easy task, and you learned it in the hardest way possible.
Loving Seungcheol seemed easy. He crashed into your life - loudly, fast. Often, you thought about it like a car crash in a movie scene - the part when everything gets upside down, and even the glass pieces flying around look kinda magical.
But you guess, after a while, the movie scene was just a little bit too loud and possibly a security hazard for everyone involved.
A part of you really wanted to give your all, to sacrifice, to just give a little bit more of yourself to make it work, but lately, you have been so fucking tired and so alone that you don’t even have the strength to try anymore.
You loved everything about Seungcheol, you loved his laugh, you loved the way that Seungcheol made everyone feel cared for, you loved how he treated you and you loved how he loved you, and knowing all that made everything worse.
But Seungcheol had that power - he made sure to make you fall in love all over again every time he had a chance. And everything would be okay after a few hours in the same space as him, you would feel loved, he would smile, he would embrace you and everything would just feel right.
The problem was that lately, Seungcheol didn't have the time to make you fall in love with him.
If you thought about it, you couldn't even pinpoint the last time you saw Seungcheol. You know he dropped by before going overseas for his tour - four months long tour, for a quick fuck but before that you can't really remember because he was already busy with a comeback and rehearsal.
And you tried your best to keep it cool, and you tried your best to deal with it on your own - Seungcheol was a constant topic in your therapy, and you tried to understand - of course his life is more glamorous than yours, of course he has the chance to go to all those beautiful places you can only see in pictures, of course it was work.
And you tried to bite your tongue and think how much of his life he had to give up in order to be where he is now. And it is his dream, his youth, his life really - so you can't make Seungcheol choose.
You know all that.
And you try to use your brain instead of your heart. But when Seungcheol is in the same country as you, in the same time zone, and still has a problem reaching up, it still has a problem finding more than a 30-minute time slot, you know what you need to do.
You need to let him go.
It is a Monday when Cheol arrives on your doorstep, you let him in and everything seems so normal - the majority of times you two hang out was in your house, not a lot of dating outside, not a lot of going out with your boyfriend enjoying the city.
You tried to brush it off and pretend you didn't care Seungcheol didn't have a normal life, so you two could have brunch on a sunday or a stroll in the nearest mall.
"Hey baby I was thinking of ordering from that chinese restaurant god I am craving the food," Seungcheol says, crashing on your sofa like it is his own house, and it settles on you that it is almost like his second house, a hideaway, every time he had a problem he would just crash on your place. He had the keys, why didn't he open the door? Why were you always doing the job? Letting him in, let him crash into your life? Why couldn't you crash into his and set things on fire? "Baby? Are you listening?" Seungcheol calls, but you know he doesn't really care because his eyes are glued to his phone.
"Cheol I need your attention for a minute," you say, looking at him, trying your best to keep it straight, to not fall on the ground and cry.
"Okay okay just let me answer a few more texts. We are scheduling the next varieties right now so everything is a bit crazy," your boyfriend says, still not paying attention. And you ask yourself - has it always been like that?
Did Seungcheol always come into your life, create havoc, crush everything on his point of view, take everything he could get his hands on and everything you could give him to not give five minutes of his time in return?
"Seungcheol I really need you to put your phone down," you say again and you are so pathetic that you feel the tears rolling down your cheeks, your voice cracking up - and that's what calls Seungcheol's attention, eyes big on surprise.
"Love, are you okay? What happened?" he asks and now that you have his attention, his phone is screen down on your sofa, his eyes on you, you feel all certainty leaving your body because you miss him so much and he looks so tired your heart almost breaks because you feel like to Seungcheol you are just another thing he needs to take care of, to handle, to adjust in his crazy hours.
You feel like you are a plate spinning in the little stick, and you are about to fall down because Seungcheol forgot that he needs to spin you around.
"I'm really sorry, I-" you hiccup, and god you feel so fucking silly.
"Baby what is going on?" Seungcheol's voice is low when he tries to wrap his arms around you, scared when you don't let him do it. "Baby you are worrying me," he says again when he watches you take steps away from him.
"You don't need to worry, everything is fine."
"Clearly everything is not fine, I am back after ages, and my girlfriend is crying in the living room," he says god you wish you could get angry and pick a fight with Seungcheol but you feel so tired, you feel so exhausted.
"I-" you try to start, but you feel your legs buckle and your heartbreak. "I think we should break up."
"What?" Seungcheol because that is the only thing he can say. Seungcheol feels like he is inside a car crash like he is the one getting upside down. He feels so blindsided by your decision, did... Did you find someone when he was away, or did you just fall out of love?
"I think we should break up," you say it again, more to yourself than to him, like you are making up your own mind.
"Can-" Seungcheol paces around, he actually feels his throat close and his tongue feels like sandpaper around the roof of his mouth, he can't even bring himself to actually look at you. But he finally does, seeing you sitting on the floor, back against a wall, hands holding your own hand, elbows on your knee, and you just feel so different. Seungcheol can't actually pinpoint what seems different, but you are, and you look so tired, what the fuck happened, how could he not see this coming? "Can I ask why?"
And you scoff, Seungcheol can see your whole body moving. Everything is so clear to you and so hazed to Seungcheol is like you two are in different directions speaking through a tin can telephone.
"I don't think this is working for me I-" you try to start, trying to dry your tears with the sleeve of your shirt.
"Did you find someone else?" Seungcheol blurts out.
"What?" You ask in actual disbelief, did he-
"Are you in love with someone else?" He says it again and you can wrap your mind around it, what he wants to mean with those silly accusations.
"Thats-"
"That's ok, I can take it, you can be honest with me," Seungcheol says again, trying to brace himself for the impact, preparing himself to hear the eyes falling out of your lips.
"You know what's funny?" You say without a hint of humor in your voice, "You actually prefer that wouldn't you? You would actually prefer the idea of being cheated on, of me being guilty of falling in love with someone else than to acknowledge that may be-" you hiccup, and try to breathe even though you can't do it through your nose, "that may be I am ending things with you because i can't deal with the shit show that is your life anymore, that I can't take being a second option anymore because your life is so fucking good that only someone crazy wouldn't want to share it with you." You pick yourself up, and you feel so angry, you feel so disrespected. You look at him, and god, even though you love him you know Seungcheol can't give you what you want, he can't give you coffee dates, he can't give you holidays, he can't give you the certainty of Valentine's days and birthdays. And even though you love him, even though you gave everything you could, even though you spent months and months on videocalls or just texts, even though you felt so fucking happy when he was by your side even though it meant a delivery and a night in, he is implying that you could cheat on him, like you could find someone like you are not broken enough to think that you could never love someone again like you love him. "Guess what Cheol, you don't share anything. You just take and take until the person doesn't have any more to give you"
And he stays silent like he doesn't have anything to say. Like he is trying to understand the situation, those hazy moments after the crash when you try to make yourself come back to reality.
"I am sorry I am really tired if you could-" you start, walking to your door.
"Do you-" Seungcheol starts and when he looks at you can see the tears around his eyes and you want to take everything back, you want to say you are sorry, you want to say it was just you're feeling lonely but now he is back, now everything is okay, you can deal with going to every working related dinner or party alone and lie when people ask why your boyfriend never comes. "Do you think I could do something different?"
"No," you say voice small, looking everywhere just so you can avoid Cheol's eyes. "I really love you, I love you so fucking much, I just can't deal with your life, I just can't deal with the loneliness that comes when you go MIA between shows because you are tired, I just can't deal with whole weeks gone just because you guys are working on a new album, and I can't deal having a boyfriend only inside the walls of my apartment, it hurts so fucking much Cheol and I just have nothing else to give you." you catch your breath, and you smell his perfume, and everything looks so out of place, how can a heartbreak make you nauseated, make you feel physically ill? "And even though I love you, I wish I could bring myself to ask for it, to make you give me what I want, but I know you and I know I can't ask you for that, and I know you enough to know that if I ask for it maybe I won't get what I want in return because you can't give what I want.
When Seungcheol leaves the only thing you do is cry. Like a child, on your bed, in a fetal position, hiccuping every few minutes. You cry so much that you fall asleep while doing it. In the morning when your alarm goes off, you can feel a headache. You think you will need a lot more than a painkiller. But you pick yourself up, and go to work and you regret it. You regret it when you see a fucking bus with Seungcheol's face plastered on it - his birthday is in three weeks. You regret it when you see it again on the subway, and when you open social media the news around his new album is across it - you think you need to delete every account Seungcheol related.
You also regret when you see Mingyu's name on your phone screen. But when Mingyu calls you for the third time you know something must be wrong.
"Hello?"
"Hey can you- ok guys shut up, hi hmm” He says in a lower voice, “can you tell Seungcheol to hurry up he is a bit late we have scheduled in like 30-ish," He says across the line.
"Hm, Mingyu I really can't do that." You say almost laughing because his friends don’t call you ever, you have Mingyu’s number registered because once Seungcheol had a dead phone and he asked Mingyu to tell you he was arriving late - that’s when Seungcheol still cared you think, after that he just arrived late without telling you his schedule was running late.
"No really like it is a really important schedule."
"Mingyu Seungcheol is not with me right now you should call him-"
"Is he not? I mean he slept with you, right? Did he leave your house already?"
"No, he didn't sleep at my place last night-"
"No?" Mingyu asks and the line is dead silent before you pick yourself up and have the courage to tell you.
"Mingyu we broke up yesterday," You say in the lowest register ever, the last thing you wanted was Karen from the sales department eavesdropping on your conversation and asking if you needed a girl time.
"Why did you break up with him?" He asks and that makes your head spin a little, how did he know?
"Mingyu that's-" you breathe loudly, you want to smash the phone against the nearest surface, but you need patience, and to be honest Mingyu didn’t do anything for you to be rude, yes, you are angry but it is not Mingyu’s fault, "That's really personal I'm sorry"
"Ok, sorry, yeah I overstepped for sure," you can hear the faint voices in the background, "Do you think you know a place he could've gone to?"
"No, I really don't, I am sorry, just" your bite your tongue because you think that’s overstepping too, but you say nonetheless, "Just give me a heads up if you guys find him or if I need to worry ok?"
"Yeah, yeah."
And against everything - your rational mind and your broken heart, you call Seungcheol, because he still comes first, his well-being and state. Even if he is not picking Mingyu's call that stills a part of you that says that you are special enough to him that he may answer your calls. He doesn't. But you don't even have time to worry because Mingyu sends you a message saying that Seungcheol just showed up and he is fine.
And the reality of it crushes you. You are not the person that Seungcheol will pick up when everyone calls him, you are not the exception anymore.
What really hurts is when you think that maybe you never were.
And the feeling makes you so physically ill that when you knock on your chief's door to say you are going back home because you feel unwell and gonna try to work remotely he just says you can take a day off because you are clearly looking like a fucking truck hit you.
The first few days make you wish Seungcheol was right. You cry so much you feel dehydrated and have a non-stop headache. So you wish he was right, you wish you did cheat on him, you wish you ended things because you fell. in love with somebody else.
You don't delete his messages but you do archive the conversation because every time you open the app it is just there and the want to hover it, to go back, to look at it, to have Seungcheol back in your life is so big you ask yourself how can you carry such a burden.
When you reach the 7 days you feel like somehow you can breathe again, now crying only 25% of the time. It's painful how you get back into your routine very quickly, it makes you feel that Seungcheol was not a big part of it. The main thing you do is to just keep your phone away, check less social media - the last time his face popped up and you almost yetted the phone.
On week two you do all the things that you wanted to do with Seungcheol, alone or with other people. You go to the new corner cafe with a book and order a lot of sweet treats. You go to the movies after a day of work because why not. You drive yourself to the beach, and even though it’s not really summer, the weather is nice enough. In a way you think you are a masochist, experiencing all of those things and reminiscing of what could be if Seungcheol was by your side. But every time you come home and your empty place greets you with the memory of Seungcheol and his belongings you think that masochism would be locking yourself up in a place where Seungcheol was most present in your life.
Week three is a living hell. It's Seungcheol's birthday and you catch yourself entering a store just because something nice enough to be his present caught your attention. When you pick up your phone to ask him if he prefers leather or wool the reality crashes into you. It makes your world spin a little, and everything is in slow motion when you go back home.
It doesn't help that you still have a pair of shoes, some shirts, a few pieces of jewelry, and even toiletries that don't belong to you in your own house. You feel stupid when you cry, but you pick everything up and put everything in a box - but you still don't have the strength to contact Seungcheol and say that he needs to pick up his things in order to move on.
I'm just here for the weekend
A wordless kind of offer
And I'm hoping that you saw that
After a month you stop crying.
Even though you don't keep tabs in a tracker you know every month that passes by, and Seungcheol's box turns into a decorative item by your door.
In a way, everything you know about Seungcheol is stored in the back of your mind, and sometimes it comes back to your conscious mind like an intrusive thought.
To be honest, Seungcheol still pops up daily in your life, his voice plays in the nice book store, his face shows up in the make-up store and now he is the face of your favorite lip balm, he shows up in the tv and again in the subway, he shows up in the news and in your favorite variety show - the first time you don't actually binge watch. You know when Seungcheol is blond and when he is not, you know when his hair is long or shorter. And even if you don't want to, you keep tabs on him.
But in reality, you can deal with it, you can deal with Seungcheol's absence when he doesn't come back to make you fall in love with him.
And it gets easier.
Or you get used to not having Seungcheol in your life, seeing him from afar, or not seeing him at all. After 3 months you think to yourself that for the first time, you feel like a human again. Like your feet are back on the ground. You can walk without crunches for the first time after breaking both legs.
When it hits the six-month mark you think it is okay to remember, it is okay to think about it, it was a milestone after all. When you think about buying a cake for the one-year mark you think that maybe that's not normal.
But maybe that’s the path of healing, the ups, and downs of it, healing is not linear - you think that you saw an Instagram post about it. And you just accept it, you don’t fight anymore about how you remember Seungcheol in the silliest things, when you look at something on the street, or when you start binge-watching a new tv show. But sometimes you also don’t remember him, sometimes you can go a few days without conjuring him in your mind - but you always end up losing the game when you think to yourself how you did not think about him.
'Cause I see you
I fall back into the feeling like we've just begun
Tell me, ooh
Are you tired of being alone?
You're not the only one
When you see Seungcheol, two years later, you just laugh and take a sip of your drink. It is really crazy how Seungcheol's absence makes you forget that one of your closest friends knew Seungcheol - he was the reason why you two met in the first place.
And yet you feel surprised to see Seungcheol in the same space as you after a while. And god why do your legs buckle and why is he so good-looking?
At the same time you want to turn and run, you are so freaking obsessed with seeing Seungcheol with your own two eyes after such a long time. God. You need a drink, you need a glass of the most powerful poison, you need courage and you need strength.
But before you can turn Seungcheol has his eye on you.
And you want to run and scream when you see him walking into you.
"Hey," Seungcheol says and he too looks like he is fine with everything, and you think if it has always been like that if Seungcheol almost didn’t get a scratch when you always left with a broken heart and broken bones "I-" Seungcheol laughs. "This is weird."
"Yeah," you say drinking the rest of your drink in one gulp "They didn't tell me you were coming so-"
"Do we need to continue doing that?" Seungcheol asks and you can feel your head tilting like a damn dog, and Seungcheol's tint smile across his face confirms your suspicion- he always thought it was endearing. "Avoid each other I mean," he clarifies.
And you want to say yes because you feel so weak on your knees. You feel like you are getting pulled - physical traction makes you throw away all that you learned in the past year, making you forget how difficult it was, how painful.
"I don't know, it is not the ideal but what is the other option?" You ask and don't even wait for Seungcheol to answer you when you look around - you need another drink, you are not doing this sober, you feel yourself close to tears and you can't cry sober - drunk you at least have an excuse to bawl everything out.
"Not hating each other?" Seungcheol scoffs, and you do the same.
"Sometimes I think about how we spent four years together," you say, going to the bar with Seungcheol by your side, you order a mojito while Seungcheol just brushes the guy off. Seungcheol is so close that you can feel your brain start malfunctioning.
"Come on, I swear I didn't try to pick a fight if you want I can go I already said my wishes to the host so-"
"Is not that," You feel so fucking frustrated, you can feel your heart in your throat. "I just-" You breathe loudly, maybe you should let him enjoy the party and go - he was the one that didn't show up in two consecutive years. "Look this is not the time or the place for us to have this conversation but the point is I never hated you - I never could, and to be honest never wanted."
Seungcheol just looks at you, his eyes big and mouth agape.
And you wish you could hate him because it would be easier. And because if you hated him you wouldn't question yourself if it was the right decision, if you hated him you wouldn't be thinking about letting Seungcheol back in your life.
"Hey, hey-" you hear Seungcheol's voice behind you.
Fuck you forgot the uber, so you do your best to ignore Seungcheol and pick up your cell phone, trying to open the app fast enough just so a car teleports in the street.
"Come on I can take you home," He says and you want to laugh really, what the fuck is on his mind.
"And would I say yes to that?"
"Look," Seungcheol’s hand goes through his hair and you know he is frustrated, and a part of you relishes that, in the way that you still know him even after more than 24 months apart, "I don't know how you are doing, and this can be me being fucking egotistical, but I have been thinking you hate me for two years, so if here is not the place then we can find a place, I would say my place but that would make me sound like a jerk so-"
"Cheol," you almost beg.
"I really just want to understand what happened, fuck-" And when you look again you see Seungcheol in such a different light, he is so tired, he looks so exhausted, he looks older, but not just older he looks jaded, "It is been plaguing my mind since we broke up I can't fuck wrap my head around-"
"Your house then."
"Ok, ok. Just so you know I have a dog." Seungcheol says while guiding you to his car and you just feel a pang in your chest because you know how he went on and on about how he wanted a dog, how you two could get a dog, how if he wasn't so busy, and far away half of the time you two should get a dog.
And God you feel so sad, you can actually feel everything building up inside your body, you can feel it in your throat.
You heard and heard about the dog and you were not there, and that’s all you can think about the entire trip to Seungcheol’s house.
"This is Kkuma," Seungcheol says holding the dog up, when he sees that you are not in the mood to greet the cute creature he gives up. "Is this a mistake?"
"Probably," you say, looking at his living room - god when you two dated he didn’t have his own house. How much did you miss? How many milestones in his life were you not a part of?
"I-" Seungcheol starts, making you look at him, "I just thought we could go back to good terms you know, I've been keeping tabs on you," and you don’t know why but you feel so angry, you feel like there is something growing under your skin you can’t quite name it. "Don't look at me like that, I wanted to know how you were, how you've been doing, and when I asked about you this last time he said I could show up so I thought you knew"
"I didn't"
"Yeah, I'm sorry," he says, rubbing his palm against his pants in an attempt to dry it. "I mean for today and for everything I guess, I wasn't the best back then. I just thought-"
"What do you want from me Cheol?" You ask for the first time looking at Cheol's eyes, looking for the truth in it, searching for every little detail you can catch to make it make sense, but that just makes you crumble like a sandcastle against a wave, "I've been trying so hard- god"
"Hey, hey-" Seungcheol's hand close around your wrist, his fingers in contrast with your skin. "Don't cry please, don't cry, I always hated when you cried, hated every time I saw you in tears because of me." He says while getting closer to you, which just makes you cry a little bit more.
"I am so sorry, this was a bad idea, I can take you home if you want to," Seungcheol says with his arms around you - and god, you should've braced yourself from the impact, but you didn't and Seungcheol was just crashing into your life again.
"Yeah, and I was crazy enough to say yes to you," you say against Seungcheol's embrace and you are surprised when he picks up your muffled sounds.
"Why did you, say yes I mean" Seungcheol making space to look down at you.
"You know why Cheol," you say rolling your eyes at him.
"It's the same for me too, I guess," Seungcheol says tucking your hair behind your ears, "Maybe that's why I went after you today, fuck, that's why I talked to you really-" his lips find your forehead, and you can feel your heart in throat. You feel like your lungs are about to collapse, you can't breathe, "when I saw you I just-" He smells your hair like he used to do, his hand on your neck, his thumb caressing your jaw. "it just felt like nothing had changed"
I know it sounds fatal, I know we made fires
The ending's real clear and it won't take us higher
Tonight, I might need to come kamikaze
Crash into your way (Kamikaze, kamikaze)
You know Seungcheol, you can tell, you can anticipate every step. With Seungcheol it is like you have the ability to see the future in your lids. With Seungcheol even when he crashes and burns makes you think to yourself that you can take the fire against your skin.
And you miss the feeling - to be understood even when you don't have words, when the silence speaks for you when Seungcheol just knows what you need before you ask for it. That's why you broke things up, you think, maybe you felt the most loved when Seungcheol would anticipate every and each one of your needs, and the moment he stopped you felt so unseen.
When Seungcheol's lips find your cheeks, just below your eyes, you can hear the sound of your heart-shattering. Your hands tighten against his sides.
"I missed you," Seungcheol says, his forehead resting against yours. "I missed this, missed us."
"Cheol," you beg because it is the only thing you can do, the only thing you can master.
"Let me take care of you," You can feel the way his hand goes to your nape, making you shiver, "Let me make you happy."
You just nod, because that's what you want. You want it so much that you could change the earth's axis, you could change the future and the past for it. And when you feel Seungcheol's lips against yours you think that ending the world would seem like an easy task if it was to achieve Seungcheol's love, to have his touch against your skin every day.
When you wrap your arms around Seungcheol's neck you know you are done for - you know you fell in love all over again.
And you do it because it is him, because it is Seungcheol, and he is the only one who could break your heart.
"You will, won't you?" Seungcheol says mouth against your jaw, hand still against your nape holding you in place, "Let me love you?"
"Don't say things like that," you whisper, tugging on Seungcheol's shirt.
"Why baby?" He says kissing your jaw, his hand caressing your cheek, "god, I missed this," Seungcheol says when his breath in on your neck, rubbing his nose on it. "missed how you smell," his hand holds your waist and you feel so glad because you almost melting, "missing the way you taste," he says when his tongue laps at your skin, giving you a small kiss on the kneck.
The only thing you can do is try to anchor yourself, one hand splayed against Seungcheol's back and another one tugging at his hair. Seungcheol's hand goes around you, caging you against his body, his hands finding the hem of your shirt and putting it under your shirt.
And it is just so much, the way his hands feel hot against your back, keeping you upright. The way his lips feel against your skin, wet, across your cleavage. The way that his body feels hard against yours.
It's just so much. To have all that again, you almost forget how to breathe.
Seungcheol is so big - physically yes, but his whole existence is so big, it makes you feel suffocated. Seungcheol is so big that you question yourself how you used to fit him in your heart.
But you choose not to think about it, not know. You call his name while tugging his hair, blindly searching his mouth. And you focus on Seungcheol, the way that his tongue feels against yours, the way that he holds you, the way that you feel how hard he is against your hips.
"Let me," Seungcheol whisper against your mouth before his hand found the back of your thighs and picks your up - and you do the only thing you can do, letting out a surprised noise and hugging Seungcheol. And you can feel how Seungcheol's smiles spread against the skin of your chest.
"Don't laugh," you try to scold him, hand tugging his hair again - when he let his hair gets so long? It was a newfound joy for you.
"-m not laughing," you hear Seungcheol say against your skin, his fingers dipping in the skin of your ass.
When your back hits the mattress, you feel like you can breathe again for the first time, Seungcheol's body away from yours. Until his hand is back on your hips, making your heart skip a beat and your lungs collapse.
"You are so pretty," he says when his hands travel up against your body, lifting your shirt, Seungcheol's lips find the skin of your stomach, his hand pressing on your ribcage. Seungcheol looks at you, his tongue on your skin, linking a strip of it.
The thing about Seungcheol is that he still remembers. He still knows what makes you melt, makes you hot, makes you whimper. And he does it so right that makes your head spin.
Seungcheol lifts your shirt up, pooling it against your neck. "Fuck-" Seungcheol starts again and you ask yourself how he doesn't feel tongue-tied like you, "so pretty like this," his digits touch your chest when the lace of your bra ends, and it is just so faint, you lift your chest searching for his touch.
"Can I?" Seungcheol asks and you don't even know what he wants but you are nodding. He tugs on your bra, letting your boobs free. His forefinger and his middle finger find your nipple, tugging at it lightly, making you whimper. "Always loved how you are so fucking sensitive," he coos.
Seungcheol's lips find your skin again, and the way he kisses the underside of your boob is so soft and so tender that makes your head spin a little. Seungcheol lowers his body against yours, making you open your legs a little to make space for him between them.
Seungcheol kisses your sternum at the same time that his hands wrapped around your throat, he doesn't put pressure on it. But the mere fact that his hand is splayed on your windpipe makes you lose it, make you whimper. "God, missed this too, the way you sound"
"Cheol," you want to complain but you can't because Seungcheol just licks one of your nipples, his free hand holding you in place for him to latch on it. You don't even know what to do - it is just too much, the feel of Seungcheol's hands on your body, of his mouth against your skin.
When his mouth leaves your nipple with a low pop, his mouth doesn't leave your skin. "Don't worry babe gonna give it to you," you hear his voice low and muffled, "Gonna give you everything."
"Want you-" you say tugging at his shirt. And you feel so hot all over, you ask yourself how did you survive without his touch for so long, how did you survive with your skin against yours.
"I know, I know” Seungcheol coos and you just melt against the hand he places against your face, when he kisses you again you know you are doomed. “Just let me eat you first," he says putting his lips just below your ear, his body heavy and hot against you, "Missed your pussy too, missed everything."
"Don't talk like that," you beg and you don't hear it, but you feel the way that Seungcheol's body reverberates with a chuckle - and you take the opportunity to tug at your own shirt and bra.
"I know you like it," Seungcheol says opening the button of your pants and tugging at each leg.
"I don't anymore," you say just because you feel like you need to pick a fight really. To look like it is harder to rip you apart at the seams, to make Seungcheol think it is not that easy to wreck you.
To make Seungcheol think it's harder to have you again.
"I know you do," Seungcheol says lifting your leg and kissing your ankle, and you feel if it's not normal to feel so much. "I can see you do still like it." Seungcheol's voice drops and you can see his eyes on your pussy, his knuckle pressing on it over your panties, you can see how wet it feels, and god you feel so ashamed because you want it so much, and because Seungcheol knows.
You can feel how red your skin is. Seungcheol lies between your legs. He rearranges your position, opening more your legs, putting one of your thighs on his shoulder. "Don't need to lie to me," He says before slowly biting on the meat of your thigh, his hands holding you in place when you buckle.
Seungcheol kisses your pussy over your panties and you bite on your tongue, you hold yourself back. "God, I even miss the way you smell," Seungcheol says and you feel faint - and you tug at the sheet almost crying, almost begging.
But before you say anything you feel him tugging at your panties and you don't move, you just let Seungcheol move your body to his pleasure, taking your panties off but putting your legs the same way as before.
You feel Seungcheol digits against your folds and you bite your tongue again - trying to hold back. But when his thumb presses on your clit you can't resist calling his name. "Shh, it's okay baby," Seungcheol says before his tongue is on you, making your head spin.
You ask yourself again how you survived without him.
Because with Seungcheol was just so easy.
Seungcheol doesn't ask what you like he already knows.
Seungcheol knows how to pin your hips down, with his hand splayed, because you like how strong he is. Seungcheol knows how to lick your folds, how to suck on your clit, how to tease you with his fingers.
"Can you-" you try to ask for it, but when you look down between your legs you see Seungcheol looking at you, seeking your reactions, trying to catch every little detail, and before you can ask again Seungcheol is nodding against your pussy, mouth not leaving it for a second even thoughyou are bucking your hips.
And then you feel his fingers against your entrance. And it is Seungcheol he knows how you like it, but he knows too much, he teases you first, just the knuckle against your hole.
"Seungcheol, please," you ask again, accepting that you lost the war, accepting that you can't pretend anymore because you know Seungcheol will only give you when you ask for it.
But you asked for it so he gives to you.
He starts fucking you slowly with his fingers, his tongue never leaving your clit.
You feel like you are going insane, it's just too much - his hand’s strong grounding your hips, the way that his mouth closes against your clit, the way that his fingers enter you, the way his eyes never leave yours.
And before you can say anything you are cumming against his tongue, Seungcheol laps at it like he wants to feel your taste on his tongue, like he wants every drop of it.
"Always loved your mouth." You say before Seungcheol kisses you and you can taste yourself on his tongue.
Seungcheol lifts his body, kneeling on the mattress, and finally takes his shirt off, "wait," you call for him, and you look at him. And god he is so fucking pretty all over. He always has been. You touch him, hands against his stomach, and you wish you can make him feel like he does to you.
You sit on the bed, Seungcheol's position making him taller than you, but it is not a problem when the difference makes it easier to kiss his pecs. And Seungcheol holds the back of your neck, his eyes again, never leaving you, making sure he sees every tiny fraction of every little touch.
You don't know if you actually forgot, or, if you just locked the memories away in a tiny part of your brain, but when you see Seungcheol so pilant against your touch - against one of your hands on his stomach, the other touching his pecs and mouth sucking at his skins it is like it's unlock something on you.
"Did you miss it?" You ask hand working on Cheol's pants, palming him in the process.
"Hun?" He asks voice low, like he didn't catch the meaning behind the question.
"The way I make you feel," you answer, hand underneath his underwear, touching his hard dick. "Did you miss it?" You ask again, looking Seungcheol in the eyes.
"So fucking much," he answers and you can see how his body reacts to every single touch you give him, you lower Seungcheol's underwear, just enough so his cock springs free - red and leaking, and God you wish you could forget how many time Seungcheol split you open with his dick, but you can't, you think you remember each and every time, "Thought about it every day."
"Can you fuck me?" You ask Seungcheol, fingers wrapped around his dick, pumping him slowly, thumb rubbing against his tip, and you can see his body twitch, but Seungcheol just lets you do whatever you want with him.
"How do you want me?" he asks.
"You know how," you say it because it is true. Seungcheol knows how to eat you, how to fuck you, how to split you open, he knows how to make you feel good, and how to make you cry.
"Come on," He says hand on your shoulder making you lay down again, and you whine because the action made you set his dick free "You asked me to fuck you" his hands wrap around your leg and make your body turn to the side.
And it is just so hot, how Seungcheol can manhandle you, can make you turn and move, but still cave into every and each one of your whims. You ask and he answers it. You ask him to jump and he asks how high.
Seungcheol lays on the bed, his front pressed against your back, his strong arms around you, his lips against your neck, his dick against your ass.
Your mind goes back to how big Seungcheol is, how he doesn't let space for anyone else.
But you come back to reality when you feel Seungcheol's dick going against your pussy. Seungcheol mumbles against the skin of your shoulder, but you are so gone that you don't actually pay attention to it.
When Seungcheol starts fucking you you are halfway there. You hold Seungcheol's arms, your nails marking his skin. "You take me so fucking well," Seungcheol says before his teeth find the flesh of your shoulder. "Do you need-" You don't let him finish, tugging at his hair, searching for his mouth - and the kiss is messy and sloppy, and when Seungcheol's fingers find your pussy again you just moan on his mouth.
"Are you-" Seungcheol asks, and you know what he wants to say in the way his hips fall in rhythm the way his other hand tightens against your ass, the way with every stroke he goes deeper and deeper. And you nod because it is the truth, you are so close to it that you feel like your bones are melting.
And you just let it hit you, let the wave of the orgasm wash over your body. And you know Seungcheol is close by the way he pants against your neck, by the way, his strong hands hold your thigh - until you feel him cum on you.
You can feel your heart beating against your chest. You can feel the way Seungcheol's dick slips off you, and the way your back feels sweaty against his chest. You squirm a little trying to put some distance between your bodies.
"Stay," Seungcheol murmurs against your shoulder while enveloping you in his embrace, tugging you closer and you do. You stay because Seungcheol still makes you fall in love with him every single chance he gets, but your mind is still wrapped around the feeling that maybe, you two, are not meant to be, one of the lovers that could be so fucking beautiful and that marked your life, that is a before Seungcheol and after Seungcheol in your life.
But, deep down you know, that you just got tired of asking for more.
Now you don't want a lover that you need to ask for it - even though you know Seungcheol would never say no to you, but for once, you think that you want someone who gives to you without being asked for.
I love the beginning, the moonlight is calling
I know we'll go up but we'll end up freefalling
#Choi Seungcheol fic#Choi Seungcheol fanfic#Choi seungcheol imagines#Choi Seungcheol smut#Seungcheol fic#Seungcheol fanfic#Seungcheol imagines#Seungcheol smut#Seventeen fanfic#Seventeen fic#Seventeen imagines#Seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#svt fic#svt fanfic#svt smut#svt imagines#t: writting#t: choi seungcheol#t: the loveliest time
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icarus
pairing: jeno x fem reader.
genre: smut, angst
content: mention of inexperience reader, mention of virginity, face riding (female), slight bondage (collarbone), female masturbation, fingering, anal fingering, multiple orgasms, riding, oral sex (male).
wc: 2.5 k
an: stop bc this look so ridiculous i don't even care. am i projecting? yes. do i want my yn moment? also yes. i love daydreams, and i love being delusional, anyway, enjoy <3
masterlist
oh, icarus! for all you have fallen, still you flew! and for a moment, the sun knew of you, too.
“yn, you're here?” your friend snaps her fingers in front of you, making you blink twice. “i'm having a collapse,” you confess, grabbing your head. “oh, no, i think i'm having a panic attack.” your eyes widening as the realization hit you in the stomach. “yeah... can you have it later? we're in the middle of something.” you laugh, tense. “i mean, what's going on? we've been here before,” she wanders around, as the lineup moves. “like, past year, you forgot?” you shake your head, a glimpse of a smile slowly dancing on your lips.
of course you remember.
last summer was the best summer of your life. after you have studied all year for your final exams at university, you and your friend went on a summer trip full of concerts and traveling around the globe. it was a rewarding experience for passing all your exams with good grades and saving money on your part-time job. it didn't matter what concerts you were attending. imagine dragons, coldplay, taylor swift... after a whole year of working hard, it was kind of a present from you to yourself. forgetting completely about college, both of you had a great time last year.
one night you two bumped into a concert having a place in your city. your friend immediately wanted to go, and consequently, dragged you with her. since your motto was <enjoy the summer as if it was your last> you didn't waste time and started to feel the vibe of the moment. letting yourself go.
a guy caught your attention that night. spending all evening looking at him in awe. amazed. later that night, you were sure his gaze was fixed on you. stealing glances from time to time, your heart beating so fast in your chest from the arousal. when the concert was over, he invited you to come with him.
his voice was low and raspy, like a shot of rum. and later that night, you knew his breathing was sharp and heavy. arms covered in veins, body sculpture, and chiseled by some divine god. eyes so dark you are scared to drown in the void of his pupils. nose long and manly that still makes you wet your underwear. you let him have you that night. a couple times.
“oh, god, i lost you again.” your friend rolls her eyes. “what's the deal with you?”.
“sorry, i got lost in my thoughts,” you reply, advancing with the line. your friend gives you a look. “you sound flustered,” she notices, smiling. “stop that,” you cut her off, hearing his laugh. “i mean, i'm a human, i'm nosy,” she defends herself. “what if i wanna know what happened?” “nothing happened,” you answer. she huffs. “lies.”
once inside, you and your friend go to the right side of the scenario. “you never told me about that guy you met last year,” she comments. “you know... your first time.” she adds. “oh, what if he's here tonight?” her eyes wides. “could be,” you say, distracted. “that's why you've been smiling so hard, i just know it.” she laughs. “i kinda wanna meet this sex god that has you smiling like an idiot.” you join her and laugh. your smile dies in your lips as the bitterness hit you. chest starting to hurt. what if he doesn't remember you? what if he doesn't want to see you? your fingers start to fidget the moment the lights go out.
and there he is again. the warmth expanding in your chest when your eyes manage to find him. he looks the same as always. ethereal. unreachable. magical. your eyes opening, trying to grasp everything. frame it in your head. tattoo it. he doesn't look at you. his eyes sweep the whole place with parsimony, but his eyes don't find yours. and the flame in your chest spreads. wanting. wishing. your muscles move on their own as you stand up, without worrying about how ridiculous you are trying right now. but your attempt worked. and now his eyes lock with yours. and you feel like you're holding your breath, yearning.
is this how icarus felt when he approached the sun? this burnt feeling through the limbs, only to find out he was burning inside out? suddenly falling (in love) with joy because, for a moment, he was close to the sun?.
his eyes weigh down when he looks at you. charged with a deep feeling, an unknown emotion. licking his lips as he sinks into his thoughts, imagining. his hectic breathing makes him look attractive. his skin glowing with sweat. flexed arms looking bigger; the memory of them holding you tightly as he penetrated you with care. you bite your lip instinctively, and you see him spasm where he stands.
both of you don't think you can hold it anymore.
the hours pass slowly. a torture for you, already waiting for him. your fiery pussy wet by your violent desires. lips part open as you breathe fast and superficial. he disappears behind backstage and doubt freeze you right where you are. wondering if you imagined it all. until a message.
j: you free?
“no. fucking. way.” you shush her watching her open her mouth, in disbelief. “you're texting jeno!?” she whispers, and you nod. “wait, what? hold on.” her eyes sparkle. “so this mysterious guy is the one and only jeno lee?” you roll your eyes. “jeez, you'll let everyone know.” she glances at your phone. “well, you better go, right?” she says. “wait, you're not coming with me?” you ask, worried. “i mean, i don't see any threesome word anywhere, so yes, i'm leaving,” she says, “you better show off. tell me all about it tomorrow,” she demands, walking away. “eh, can i have an autograph, perhaps?” she jokes, before winking. you watch her leave before responding to the message.
you: always.
even up close, your eyesight doesn't do justice to his beauty. he had a shower before you arrived. water pearls forming in his jet-black hair. his hands guide you to a wall before attacking your lips fervently. with sharp and hungry movements, he devours your mouth with desperation. leaving you breathless. the kiss breaks enough to take a breath of air, a thread of saliva connected to your lips due to arousal. feeling his tongue make its way through your mouth, flicking and moving, causing your arousal released in your core. “i want you,” you whisper in his mouth, feeling his hands running over you. “how much?” he breathes. your hands guide one of his hands under your skirt. his palm rests in your pussy. wetness going through the fabric. a filthy groan leaves his mouth. “take it off for me, angel.”
you do as you're told. lowering your underwear to your ankles and picking it up from the floor. you hand it to him, watching him bring your underwear to his face, sniffing your scent. “cute,” he says, before he kisses you. hands finding the buttons of your shirt, undressing you. leaving quick pecks on your lips, he guides you to his hotel bed. you drop yourself on the surface, staring intently at him standing in front of the bed. “show me how much you want me.” his glossy eyes darken at the sight of you spreading in the bed as you do what he wants. your black skirt lifted up, showing your wet pussy. your fingers slide between your folds, before inserting two in your cunt, remembering the times you touched yourself thinking it was him.
your head pulls back, eyes shut, feeling a sweet warmth in your intimate area. your mouth opening to let out little gasps, while your fingers move rhythmically and quickly in and out of your pussy, hitting hardly your spot. “jen-o,” you pant with a whine. the only mention of his name on your glossy lips makes his dick twitch inside his pants. he sits in the bed, eyes glued on your fingers stroking your cunt. your back arch as you feel the flames spreading inside you, his hands stopping you from reaching your climax. a wave of spasms shakes your body, as you bite your lips, opening your eyes, before he uses the same hand that pulled out your fingers from your pussy to insert his own. “let me.”
his movements are by far more precise and agile than yours. his long fingers going in and out, as you stirred and hissed and twitched your face in pleasure under the blackhair's gaze. his free hand goes to your collarbone, restraining you from moving under his touch. the wet sounds filling the room with your whimpers and moans, feeling his fingers increase intensity and speed, driving you insane, making a mess of babbling and incoherent words. your eyesight going black when he hit your sweet spot repeatedly, limbs going numb, before the fire pools and spread in your core, to the rest of your body. legs pressing together as he keeps flicking his fingers inside, your walls contracting and pulsing in his digits.
he lets you go to lick your arousal from his fingers, humming in an instance. “so sweet.” he states. “fuck, let me taste a little more.” you feel his breath in your pussy, before his tongue wipes out your sensitive core. your hands go to his hair, feeling him licking and sucking you. your legs spread open, as he dives into your pussy with heavy breath.
he detaches from your pussy and sits up on the bed. his hands seek yours and climb you on his lap without difficulty due to your muscles still stiff, body feeling lightweight. he kisses your neck and lips. hands disappearing under your skirt sensing his fingers testing your ass, sliding his index finger along the length, until finding your hole, inserting his digit with a quick move. your body stutter as the warm feeling embraces you, starting to wiggle while his finger fucks you. it's a new feeling for you, arching your back due to the strange pleasure that hits you. starting to grind against his lap. his free hand goes to your back, unfastening your bra. his thumb rubs circles in your nipple while his mouth wraps the other one, sucking gently.
he stops his fingers while lifting you with one arm enough to pull down his pants. “are you gonna be a good girl and ride this dick? mmm.” you nod effusively. he releases his length and it hit your leg, twitching. your hands go to your skirt, but he stops you, “leave it on, you look cute.” glancing at his bulge you think that it must hurt him. so you don't waste time after he puts a condom in, taking it on your hands and plunging it inside, already craving it. a sweet burn embraces your pussy due to his thickness. stretching you out. adjusting and wriggling on his length. jeno lets out a rasping grunt before he makes you bounce on his lap. pounding into his dick, your vision fades to black, sensing the waves of pleasure washing you. your breathy moans and soft whines mixing with his guttural sounds. kissing his lips, grinding against him. awakening all your nerve endings.
you contract your walls feeling his dick twitch, before pushing it deeper, the dizziness clouding your senses as you go up and down, constantly hitting your core, almost seeing stars. “fuck, i'm gonna cum.” his raspy voice warns. you go faster and harder, riding him to his climax. feeling his dick, pulsating against your walls, you grind him, rocking your hips back and forth, feeling his cock still hard. your moves becoming sloppy the more you approach your orgasm, finally exploding and throbbing around his length.
you pant, exhausted. feeling mind blurry and body buzzing on top of him.
“sit on my face,” he hisses, lifting you up with ease. his body rests on the mattress as you climb to his chest, hands holding you for support before you sit down on his face. nose rubbing your clit.
you let out a little moan before you start moving. his hands holding your thighs tightly while you rock your hips into his face. tongue licking along your folds, nose stroking your clit, grinding against him, mixing your juices with his saliva. his warm breath hitting your core sweetly while he mumbles “taste so good.” speeding your moves as the knot in your stomach tightens. quivering and crying out because his tongue feels so good, before releasing your extasis in his mouth. your orgasm washes you over, dissolving in shockwaves.
you stroke his hair while he force you to rock your hips along his mouth. feeling so satisfied it hurts. “s-too much...” you cry, trying to stop him from moving you, but he's stronger, so it doesn't happen. “go on, darling, a little more.” he mutters into your core, sending shivers through your body due to the sensation. you swallow, deeply. “let me... i want to taste you too, ” you confess, fluttering your eyes because of how sensitive you were.
you hop off his body and drop your knees in front of him.
holding his cock in your hands, starting to move them up and down. he's already hard. you strike your tongue along his length, hearing his throaty breathing. “put it in your mouth, yeah?” he urges you. your warm mouth receives his cock with pleasure. sucking gently and watching him stare at you while you do it. tongue going to the underside of his shaft before returning to the tip, swollen and red. inserting it with ease until it hits the back of your throat. “you're taking it so well,” he says, breathy. you hum with his cock still in your mouth, causing him to swear. watching him so needy and agitated for you. oh, you wish you were the only one who could see him like that. his cock feeling so good, his tip resting on your tongue as you stroke him. feeling his flavourful seed spilling in your mouth before you swallow it.
you get up from the ground wiping the corner of your lips, staring at him, seeking his approval. “have i done it right?” you wonder. his hand caressed your cheek before sliding into your mouth. “mmm,” he grants. he taste himself on your lips.
“now, all fours on the bed. i'd like to destroy you a few times more.” strocking his length.
you feel him settle behind you, and you don't have time to get ready when his cock buries inside with a hard move. body propelled forward. his hands hold you in place before he starts to smack his hips against yours, pounding at a slow and hard pace, making you feel demolished. gasping with each thrust, your body collapses between the sheets, before he uses his strength to make you arch your back. mumbling and babbling like a fool, brainwashed by the way he's fucking you. your whole body shivering due to the overwhelming feeling of his cock sliding in and out of your abused pussy. “fu-uck.” biting your lips and rolling your eyes to the back of your head, spinning. your pulsing walls wrapping him tight while he curses a lot.
a few more thrusts are done before you release yourself around him. your limbs numbing with a white feeling. mouth part open letting out incoherent words, mind going blank. you feel his grip on your legs, turning you around, now facing him. “want to stop?” he asks, hovering over you and leaving kisses on your neck and chest. his eyes meeting your eyes, watching you smile languidly shaking your head. he smiles before he pulls in. “good girl.”
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Weighted Blanket
This is part 2 to Pockets of Peace
Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader
Wc: 3.8k+ (First half is in Simon’s POV, second is reader’s POV)
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of children being victims on a mission (nothing graphic), brief, BRIEF mentions of self harm (this part is italicized if you want to skip OR can read it as wounds from fights or missions; emotionally vulnerable reader and Simon; some fluff; some cuddling
Summary: After your last mission, things changed between you and Ghost. Although feelings shifted and emerged, your quiet routine with the Lieutenant stayed the same. He never failed to provide you with little pockets of peace throughout your tumultuous life, and you treasure these moments, holding them close to your heart. Except this time, it’s you who returns the favor, and offers him a warm embrace to grieve quietly.
A/N: HELLO! Part two to Pockets of Peace is finally here. I really can’t express my gratitude for all the love that fic received. I really appreciate all your likes, comments, and reblogs. Comments are always so fun to read and same goes for the reblog tags <3 This is another purely indulgent fic lmao and I found this part harder to write than the first, so I hope you enjoy it just as much. As mentioned, the first half is written from Simon’s POV, so that was fun to explore and write. Sorry for any typos/grammar mistakes </3
ENJOY!
--
Simon didn’t have much to be grateful for in his life. Sure, he was thankful for the camaraderie he found within task 141, and his friendship with Soap (although he will never admit that they’re true friends). Outside of those two things, there wasn’t much, and he was okay with that. Comes with the line of work, he supposed.
It’s hard to trust people when majority end up pointing their gun at you, even after years of working together, training together, living together. Hell, it took him years to feel somewhat comfortable around the task 141 members. When he first joined, he barely talked to anyone except when necessary either when preparing for a mission, or during a mission. Afterwards he would float off to his room and be alone. He ate alone, trained alone (unless sparing was required by Price), he went out alone. Not that he went out a lot, but if he had to leave the base, it was alone. He was somewhat of a recluse, a phantom hiding in the shadows that the team rarely ever saw.
The team member he first grew closest to, not without them trying, was Soap. The outgoing sergeant was able to make a friend out of the standoffish lieutenant, and even got Ghost to crack jokes during missions, a big deal for task force 141. This happened a little over a year and a half after Ghost joined the team. And now fast forward almost seven years later, and here he was, still on task force 141, but with a friend of sorts. That was one thing he was grateful for.
About two years in, he started to eat breakfast when the other team members did. Did he sit with them? No, of course not, but he was eating at the same time, just a few tables away. He started training with the other members more regularly, and on occasion, would coach them and give them tips here and there. And after a mission, he would sometimes tag along with the other men when they went out to a bar to wind down.
--
One night, shortly after you joined task 141, Ghost begrudgingly accepted Soap’s invite to go to a bar with the other male team members. Once they got there and had a few drinks, they were poking fun at him for having a “soft spot” for the new recruit.
He just rolled his eyes at their comments, and muttered “Fuck off,” up until they started talking about your skillset. Specifically, your lack of skills in sparing.
“Well, she certainly could improve her technique. We were sparing the other day, and I almost squashed her like a bug.”
“Yeah, she’s fast, but sure doesn’t know what to do with her speed and size. I pinned her down almost every time.”
“Yeah, last week, I had her in a headlock and almost made her pass out.”
“Hey Ghost, haven’t you been training with her? I’m sure you crush her each time you spar; she doesn’t have a chance against you.”
“Doubt she’s improved at all, even with Ghost’s help.”
Ghost couldn’t help but notice the frequent use of the word ‘almost,’ and at this point, he had enough. The comments the 141 members made weren’t even accurate. Sure, you had some improving to do, but by no means were you bad. He felt like they just felt threatened by you, a young woman with much more potential than them. He also had a feeling that they were jealous of your mastery at sniping. To put it simply, Ghost knew they were full of shit.
“She’s actually improved quite a lot.” His rough voice pierces through the air, silencing the banter surrounding him.
Embers burned at the pit of his stomach at the thoughtless comments his teammates said so flippantly about you. Embers that soon caught fire, and burned bright crimson flames. He stayed composed, but his eyes flickered, darkened by the shadows of the black paint surrounding them, and the tarnished skull that covered his nose and mouth. All the more imposing to those who looked at him.
“Plus, someone had to give her pointers for fighting a highly skilled, large, and imposing person; something you short fucks couldn’t do.”
Ghost was met with silence once again, and he smirked under his balaclava. Since then, the other men of task 141 have not commented on your sparing abilities, not wanting to be cursed out by Ghost.
And hey, it was all worth it when the next day you defeated Soap, match after match.
--
New recruits of 141 typically come and go, retention isn’t all that great. So, when you joined the team, he wasn’t expecting you to persevere, and stay. He was impressed by your skillset; snipers are always impressive in his mind. But your agility and speed that allowed you to take down opponents twice your size, is what mainly caught his eye. Sure, you needed some improvement, but you were promising.
When you first joined the team, you were so nice to everyone, even him. That’s not something he’s privy to in his line of work. Yet, you didn’t seem intimidated by him at all, not in the slightest. He didn’t have the slightest clue as to why. You just kept being so warm to him and he didn’t know what to do with that.
Of course, he wasn’t nervous to be around you, no that certainty wasn’t it; but he couldn’t help the warm feeling that would spread through his chest whenever you would talk to him. At first you only conversed with one another in meetings, debriefs, missions, etc. All work related, with no cross over into ‘personal life territory’. Simon was content with this, he rarely ever crossed that boundary with the other 141 teammates, so why would he with you? Incidentally, you and him started to get paired together mission after mission, and he couldn’t help but want more.
Ghost was immediately impressed at your abilities to smoothly get in and get out during missions, especially with what little experience you had. Not that you were any less competent than any of the other 141 team members, you just hadn’t been in the field for as long as some of them. You were smart as a whip though, and you got the job done quickly and quietly, and never got in his way. That was something he deeply respected about you. You understood the task at hand, asked questions if needed, but otherwise were highly independent. An admirable trait that takes some weight off of his shoulders as a Lieutenant. Something that he quickly added to his list of things he was grateful for.
You also had the curiosity to learn more, and to learn from the more experienced team members. Always ready with a question, and never embarrassed to ask. Sure, you were quiet like him, but when it came to job stuff, you didn’t hesitate to make your presence known.
He still remembers, one night after completing a mission, you and him were sitting in the helicopter. You turned to him and asked, “How is it that you’re never scared?” Your sweet voice traveled over to him through the coms and he felt confounded by your question. He felt his stomach warm at your tone in which you asked him this. Did you somehow look up to him?
“Who said I was never scared?” He glanced over at you and saw your eyes sparkle at his response.
--
To say that Ghost was concerned after you got shot in the leg was an understatement. Although he tried his best to stay composed, he was having a full-blown crisis inside his mind while trying to get you to safety, which, was a safe house miles from your current location. He couldn’t properly examine your wound, so he had no idea how bad of a state you were in, and he hated blind spots.
That was the first mission he ever felt real fear for you; distressed with thoughts that said you wouldn’t make it back. Thoughts that kept bouncing around, tormenting him the whole journey to the safe house. Luckily when you guys arrived, he was able to fully assess your wound and it didn’t look life threatening. No, all he had to do was clean, stich, and bandage it.
Simple enough, right? Wrong.
Of course, of course the best way to get the wound clean and ready for stitching was for your fucking pants to come off.
Things were never easy for Ghost.
His nerves didn’t stop him though and he somehow managed to get through everything without making a complete fool out of himself. Though, if you could somehow hear his heartbeat, at all, it would have been a dead giveaway, as it thumped erratically in his chest. There were moments when he was afraid it would burst.
Then, only to make this mission even worse, was him waking up to your blood curdling screams in the middle of the night. His first thought was that the enemy found you guys, and they got to you first. He thought that he failed to protect you, which was a silent promise he made to himself after the first night you guys drank beer in his room.
However, when he entered the living room, he saw that no one was in the room, it was just you on the couch where he left you. Your screams turned into cries, then sobs, then screams again. It was deafening and he couldn’t stand to hear it any longer. It took a few good shakes to wake you and he felt his heartstrings pinch in his chest when you apologized to him for waking him up, completely disregarding the trauma you were currently experiencing.
He decided right then and there that what you needed right now was not a work colleague, but a friend. He carried you to bed that night, hoping to provide you with some consolation, wanting to provide you with anything that would make you feel safe again. And before he even knew what he was doing, he found himself closing the distance between your lips, and he felt you kissing back. He may have added that to the list of things he felt grateful for.
--
It’s been a few weeks since then. Your leg is pretty much all healed, and you have full mobility. All thanks to Ghost’s handy work. Although you felt fine and ready to get back out there, Simon insisted that you continue to rest. He even managed to convince Price not to assign you to any missions for the next month, which thoroughly pissed you off.
Who was he to boss you around and tell you when you were ready or not to start working again? He was technically your direct supervisor, so he did have the power to boss you around, but still!
Even though you were slightly peeved at him, you knew that it came from a good place. He was just worried about you, and this was his way of showing it, well, in front of the team at least.
In private, he had other ways to show you how much he cared for you. After he learned about your nightmares, he insisted that you come to him whenever they occur. You were hesitant at first to take him up on his offer. What if he just said that to be nice and he just feels bad for me? You didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Even though, you found yourself slowly start to cross more and more boundaries with him as the weeks went on.
So, the first night you experienced another nightmare, you found yourself in front of Simon’s door. You probably stood there for at least a minute, racking up the courage to knock. But before you could even do that, the door swung open to reveal a sleepy looking Simon decked out in black sweats and his signature balaclava.
Since he was so close to you, you had to crane your neck to look up at him and meet his eyes. Why he was still wearing his mask at this hour, you were unsure. He usually took it off to sleep, but you were too unmoored to ask.
“I heard your footsteps approach my door.” His gravelly voice fills the space in-between, and he casually leans on the door frame.
“Oh.” You looked down at your slippers and twiddle your thumbs.
“Why don’t you come in, yeah?” Simon’s voice lifts up a bit at the end of his question, and you look back up at him and offer him a small smile.
“I’d like that, thank you Simon.” It still felt weird on your tongue to call the Lieutenant by his first name, but your chest sparked each time you did so. He held out is hand and you fit your palm against his, and he leads you into his room, his thumb caressing your knuckles.
You and Simon talked for what felt like hours before you fell asleep, head on his shoulder and his hand rubbing your head.
It was a common occurrence after that, to visit Simon’s room at night whenever you woke up screaming in the dark of your own room. It felt like nothing could happen to you in your dreams, so as long as Simon’s arms were wrapped around you, almost like an anchor. Weighing you down, preventing you from drifting too far away.
But even with this new sense of security surrounding you, some nights when you fell asleep with Simon next to you, the nightmares would still creep into your mind. Though, Simon was right there to help bring you back.
If for some reason you both separated during the night and were sleeping apart, you’d reach out to him after waking, your hand patting the bed, searching for him.
“Simon?”
“I’m right here.” He’d then swiftly pull you back into him.
He’d rub your back. Up down, up down.
Wrap his arms around you. Squeeze.
Kiss your forehead. Smooth back your hair.
Whisper affirming words that reminded you that it’s all in your head, you’re safe in this reality, he’s here. No one is trying to harm you.
Other nights, you found yourselves simply enjoying each other’s company. You love to outline his forearm tattoos with your fingers and trace your hand up his arm to his broad shoulders, to his chest. You like to trail your hand across his abs and just love to explore his whole body with your hands.
He does the same, and his touch always feels so heavenly. Though his hands were calloused and rough, they were always extra gentle in handling you.
His hand brushes over the top of your thigh and his fingertips graze over the slightly raised bumps that span across your tender skin. Your once smooth legs, now marked permanently with light lines. You feel his hand pause after it initially goes over this area of your leg. And you know, that he knows.
Before you can say anything, and push him away, his warm hand comes back up to rest at the top of your thigh, and his thumb gently traces circles over the scarred area. He doesn’t say a word, but his touches mean everything to you, and it’s all you need.
You feel him squeeze his arms that are already wrapped around your form, and feel a slight pressure against the top of your head, like a kiss was laid upon your hair.
You feel your breathing start to slow, and before you know it, you’re drifting off to sleep, the steady rhythm of Simon’s heart calling out to you like a siren with a lullaby.
You started to feel a deep sense of familiarity within the four walls of Simon’s room, and you knew that it would always be a place of condolement for your aching self. Little did you know, that you provided just as much relief, if not more, to Simon as well. Although more rare than yours, Simon had bad days too.
--
Tonight was no different than any other; you and Simon are lying in bed together and you’re semi-on top of him, leg thrown over his waist, head on his shoulder, fingers mapping out his entire being.
“If you want to talk about it, you know that you can, right?” You absentmindedly trace your pointer finger across the span of his chest as you ask him this. Drawing small circles into the fabric of his black t-shirt.
To Simon, it felt like there were small sparks leaving your fingertips every time you touched him, causing his heart to ignite.
“I’m always here to listen.” You remind him one more time.
Simon just came back from a particularly brutal mission, one that he has told you very little about. They were gone for almost two weeks and all you were able to find out from Soap was that children were involved- a sensitive subject for Simon. You can only imagine what he went through during the mission, and now, what he’s dealing with in the aftermath. You’re trying not to push too much, but you want him to talk to you.
“I can take care of myself.”
“I know that. But you shouldn’t have to.”
You pause your ministrations and crane your neck to look up at him with a slight pout on your lips. This was always a struggle with him, he didn’t like to talk to you, let alone anyone when he was going through something. He would just put up a wall and it broke your heart. Sometimes you would get bits and pieces, but never the whole picture; it was always fuzzy to you.
You wanted him to feel safe enough that he could confide in you, vent to you, about whatever was on his mind, but you knew it wasn’t that easy and that these things take time. You’re patient with him, as he is with you. It’s the least you can owe him for all he’s done for you. This is his time to lament, not yours to be nosey. So, you just let him be.
He lets out a sigh and then moves you so you’re laying completely on top of him. He tries not to be too rough as his hands grab onto your waist to situate you further, and he tucks your head under his chin.
One arm wraps around your middle and the other comes up to hold the back of your head.
“I just want you to be here with me right now, like this. That’s all I need.” His breath tickles your hair and you succumb to his wish, relaxing against him.
“Ok, I can do that.” Your hands come up to wrap around his neck, and you pull him impossibly closer to you, no inch of yourself is left untouched by Simon.
He likes to put you in this position whenever he can’t find the right words to explain. He instead craves the comfort of physicality, liking the weight of you on top of him.
Your hand comes up to play with his hair at the nape of his neck. You found that his hair tends to curl a little at the end, initially not expecting his hair to be this long. Silly, you know, but you’re honored that you’re one of the few people that get to see him like this.
You don’t know how long you and Simon lay like this; time always seemed to bend and disappear when you were with him. Since you guys had been lying in silence for so long, his voice startles you when he speaks for the first time in what felt like hours.
His hand that was resting on your lower back is now softly stroking your spine in a steady up and down motion.
“I felt scared for the first time in a while, on the last mission.”
His admission surprises you, but you wait a beat to see if he’s going to say anything else before you respond.
You’re glad that you do, because he continues to speak in a hushed voice.
“I- I didn’t know how to help them and they were looking towards us to be saved. And yet, we couldn’t save all of them. Some were left behind.”
You feel your heart start to crack again, the beginnings of the break started forming the moment you saw Simon step out of the plane when he returned back to the base.
And now it feels as though a chisel is working its way through your chest, chipping off piece by piece as you listen to Simon morn the loss of little lives. Lives he couldn’t rescue. You know it’s eating him up on the inside, with no respite in sight.
You personally have never been on a mission where the victims were children, and you’re thankful for that, so you can only empathize as much as your experience allows you to. You just have to remind him that he does the best he can, and not everyone can be saved, no matter how much you want to help.
You shift a little so your head is no longer tucked under his chin, and instead rests more on his shoulder. Since you’re so close to him, your lips touch is jaw.
You sigh, “I’m really sorry you went through that, Simon. I know that nothing I can say will change the outcome of what happened, and it doesn’t really matter what I say, but I do want you to know that you and the team did all you could. You did your best with what circumstances you were given.”
You feel him stir under you, and his arms warp tighter around your frame.
“You’re wrong.”
You feel you the pieces of your heart break into smaller and smaller pieces, losing hope that they will ever fit back together.
“You’re wrong to think that your words don’t matter.” Oh. “They actually mean the most to me.” Your chest doesn’t feel like it’s going to concave anymore.
“I really appreciate you; you know that right, Little Swan?” You feel him kiss your forehead and your chest warms at his term of endearment.
“Of course I do, Simon.”
“Ok, good.”
You bring him in for a kiss.
--
Simon found that he didn’t have much in his life, let alone much to be grateful for. Yet over the years, he realized that he grew quite the list.
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost cod x reader#ghost mw2 x reader#ghost cod fanfic#ghost cod fic#ghost mw2 fanfic#ghost mw2 fic#simon riley fic#simon riley fanfic#simon riley hurt comfort#ghost hurt comfort#ghost fluff#simon riley fluff#weighted blanket#simon ghost riley fanfic#simone ghost riley x you#ghost cod x you#simon ghost riley x you#hurt/comfort au#hurt comfort#fluff#fanfic
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Children of the Night Part 3 (Steddie X You)
A/N: Happy Friday the 13th <3
Warnings: Dom Daddy Vampire Eddie/Sub Human Steve (cam boys) X Sub Human Fem Reader, SMUT, rough smut (Vamp Eddies needs take over a bit), dirty talk, biting, mentions of blood and draining (duh vampire), aftercare of course, FLUFF they love each other :), ANGST, Protective Stevie always on alert, Reader has nightmares one involving Steve being beaten up and Eddie saving him and another dealing her childhood trauma (child abuse trigger involving mother), Eddie mentions his drunk dad, Both boys give her a run down of events in the show, I think that's all.
Word Count: 4185
Eddie felt it; every punch and kick that was being delivered to the man he loved amped him up more as he hunted for Steve.
“Dude, this isn’t fun if he doesn’t fight back.”
“Maybe fucking the freak made him soft.”
His boyfriend’s anger mixed with his own before more pain followed.
“Oh, I see. That’s your button isn’t it, Harrington? Don’t like people making fun of your freak?”
The scenery blurred around the metalhead as the feelings within him became almost too much.
“Fuck. Dude, did you hear that? I think someone might be—”
The boy’s screams echoed as Eddie tackled him, pinning him to the ground before snapping his neck.
“Holy shit. What the fuck? M-Munson?”
The vampire growled, sprinting behind him, and taking ahold of his throat as his fangs dug into his flesh. As the boy’s blood spilled down his throat, Eddie felt some of his anger calm but a hunger he hadn’t even realized was there took over as he guided his victim to the floor and continued to drink till there was nothing left.
“Eddie?”
“Y/N, WAKE UP!”
Your body shot upright with a start as your panicked eyes met Steve’s who was hovering over you with cross as he pointed it Eddie who was now in the corner of their bedroom.
“Wh-What happened?”
“You were having a nightmare.”
“No.”, the vampire growled. “She keeps accessing my memories. It’s not my fault I can fucking feel them. Jesus, this needs to stop.”
“Eddie, I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, honey. His blood just needs to run its course. What was it this time?”, Steve asked as he put the cross away and tenderly pet the back of your head.
“I think people were hurting you. Eddie was trying to find you to protect you. God, Steve, it was so strong, the anger and then…the hunger.”
“Explains why he just tried to bite you again.” His eyes met yours as you shifted you gaze. “I heard him growling in his sleep. He shot up like you did but his eyes were that black color.”
“You know I’m really glad we can all play fucking catch up but I’m still fucking hungry.”, Eddie snarled causing the other man to roll his eyes.
“Let me get him a blood bag.”
The long-haired boy smirked as his black eyes scanned you over.
“Why are you so fucking turned on right now?”
“I didn’t just feel the anger and hunger. You really love him don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You’d do anything to protect him?”
“Always. Same with you, little one.”
“D-Do you love me to, Eddie?”, you whisper. The vampires smirk stretches a bit more making your body shiver in pleasure at the sight. “Do you love me…Daddy?”
“Here. Drink this now and then tonight when we stream, you can take more from me.” The vampire immediately tears open the bag, chugging it back like a beer. “We may want to get you home, Y/N. We don’t want anything to seem out of the ordinary.”
“Arthur…”
“Eddie took care of him and cleaned your house. Do you feel comfortable going back?”
“Yeah, I just…I don’t want to leave you two.”
“How about I come with you? You can get some things including your phone and then I can bring you back here so you can moderate and be with us after.”
***
“Steve?” He answers with a small hm as he continued look at things around your room. “Why did those boys attack you that night you went missing?”
The man sighs as he turns around to face where you were sitting on your bed as he leans against your dresser.
“Small town, small minded people. After Eddie died, those couple months after I was basically numb. I missed him so much Y/N, you have no idea. People would talk behind my back or make fun of me for caring about the ‘devil worshipping freak’. Usually, I can hold myself together but that day just hit me hard. I…I went to his trailer to drown myself in booze and just hide in those memories.”
“Those kids showed up saying they heard the ‘gay music’ and that wasn’t allowed in Hawkins. I tried to leave but that’s when they started hurting me.”
“Why didn’t you try to defend yourself?”
“How do you know I didn’t?”
“I heard one of the boys say that in Eddie’s memory.”
“Jesus. I didn’t realize he heard any of that. Um, honestly, honey… I kinda hoped they would kill me…so I could be with him…”
Rising from your place on the bed, you embraced him and he heavily exhaled as he did the same, resting his chin on your head.
“When I saw him standing there, I thought I had died. I couldn’t believe he was alive.”
“What was that place he woke up from?”
“That’s a bit harder to explain. The best answer I can give you is another world like ours but darker, eviler. We…we went down there to save lives… Can we talk about this more later? I just…”
“No, no. I understand. I felt it when he woke up, not just what you were experiencing but he was so scared something happened to you when he woke up and everything was quiet. For a moment, he thought…you guys had lost…if that makes sense? But then he heard you talking and playing your song… he cares about you a lot.”
That made him smile before his index finger reached under your chin and tilted your head so you could meet his gaze.
“We care about you a lot to. I meant what I said last night. Ever since we first spoke to you, I knew you were different. He always wanted to come find you and bring you to us. After everything that’s happened, I kind of wish I had let him.”
“I’m sorry for being so much trouble…”
“No! No, shit, that’s not what I meant. I just…if you had been with us you never would have gotten this black eye or shot. I hated seeing you in pain.”
“I liked having you take care of me though.”
His eyes scanned your face as his hand cupped your cheek and his thumb caressed your lips.
“I liked having you take care of me to.”
“Steve.”, you moaned his name breathily making him smile above you.
“I can’t wait for Daddy to have you. Trust me, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced.”, he whispered. “He was phenomenal before but now…” Steve pauses, his grin growing when he sees you giggle through your teeth. “What are you laughing at, pretty girl?”
“I guess it’s his blood still but I can feel him. Because we’re turned on, he’s turned on and he’s stroking his cock right now.”
“You can feel that?”
“I’m assuming because I feel how I feel when an orgasm is building in my tummy, you know?”
“You feel like you’re gonna cum, honey? Maybe, I can help.”
Licking your lips, you watch as he slides two of his fingers into his mouth, coating them with his saliva as you unbutton your jeans. His palm glides effortlessly through the waistband of your panties and you groan as he pushes his digits into your entrance.
“Fuck. I just stretched you open and you’re still so fucking tight.”
Knowing you were already close to edge, he pumped his fingers at a fast pace, curling them inside of you as he kissed your forehead. Your hand clung to his wrists as your eyes fluttered shut and your hips rolled against his movements.
“That’s it, baby. Use my fingers. Good girl.”, Steve hummed in your ear in a seductive tone that had you clenching. “Cum, honey. I got you.”
Moaning his name, you came with an intensity you had never felt before, your arms shooting out to wrap around him as you pressed your face into his chest.
“It’s ok, Y/N. You’re alright.”
Sliding his hand out of your pants, he blindly buttoned them as you continued to clutch him tightly.
“Well, this is new for me.”, he chuckles. “I mean, normally I’m in this headspace and Eddie takes care of me.” When your eyes look up to meet his, he feels his cock strain against the denim of his jeans. The innocence that reflected back within them was part of what attracted the vampire to you.
You knew nothing of their world they lived yet you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with them and be who they needed. In return, they kept you safe and looked after you. They cared about you. They…
“Do you love me to, Steve?”
His phone aggressively vibrating cut through the moment and he sighed as he flipped it open reading the text his boyfriend just sent.
“You both need to get back here now. Daddy is hungry.”
############
When you guys got back to their place, Eddie had moved some of the cameras around so you could sit at their desk and work while also not being picked up accidently.
“You know, if ever you want me to join you…”
“I know, sweetheart. I just want to have you first before other people get to see you.”
“Not like they can see too much with this grainy webcam.”, Steve states as he comes into the bedroom and throws off his shirt.
“Aw. Do you want them to see you better, Stevie?”, Eddie teases as he tugs his boyfriend to the edge of the bed where he normally sits when they stream and wraps his arms around his chest.
“It’s nice to be seen.” The man reaches for one of his boyfriend’s hands and playfully bites his palm making you smile as you watch them wondering if this was a little glimpse of what they were like before everything happened.
The clock in the room beeps and they both get more serious as you bring the stream to life. Everything starts off normally as you moderate the chat in front of you. No nonsense today besides people inquiring about the new angle of the cameras. Your eyes start to flutter however when you feel your body begin to tingle like it had at your house.
Turning to face them, nothing is unusual as their lips mingle together but you’re surprised when the vampire grips Steve’s shoulder and effortlessly moves him around till he’s lying on his stomach with his head facing the camera. No…not just facing the camera…facing you.
The vampire whispers something to him and the man’s brown eyes find yours as Eddie trails kiss down his back before roughly lifting his hips higher in the air.
When his boyfriend’s tongue invades his entrance, Steve mewls as he bites his bottom lip. Your hands tremble with need as you slide your shorts and underwear down your legs. Making sure he has a good view, you open your legs for him, displaying your soaking cunt as you run your fingers through your slick.
“Fuck, baby. That’s it.”
Eddie crawled back up his body, sliding his own fingers between the boy’s cheeks causing Steve’s face to scrunch in pleasure.
“Is she as tight as you are, sweetheart? Fuck. I can feel how turned on you both are. It drives me crazy.” Two sets of eyes watch you intensely as you slide your digits into you hole, trying to stifle any noise from leaving your lips as Eddie pulls out his own and runs the tip of his cock between Steve’s ass. “Jesus. Are you ready for me, baby?”
“Yes, Daddy. Please.”, he begged.
Your moans mixed in with theirs as Eddie pushed into him, wrapping his arms around his chest as he laid flat on his back while he thrust his hips.
“That’s my good boy. I love you so much. This perfect ass was made for Daddy.”
Their fingers intertwined as yours thrust into your pussy at a faster pace.
“I’m ready, honey. Mmm—take what you need.”
Eddie grunted as he nodded, tenderly kissing Steve’s neck before his mouth opened wider and his fangs dug into his skin.
You felt it immediately. As soon as his blood touched his lips, that euphoria you felt drinking his own blood coursed through your veins. It was so strong, your body slid to the floor as you tried to ride your own fingers harder to satisfy the feeling to no avail.
Your vision blurred as you watched the bed shake and listened to their moans as Steve practically screamed telling you he came. You waited for the second release but no sound followed.
The wind blew around you as the cameras beeped off, your body was abruptly lifted, and you were tossed next to Steve whose glassy half lidded eyes met yours. You barely had time to register what was happening as your legs your lifted around Eddie’s waist and his cock pushed inside you.
“Eddie!”, you squealed as his hips thrust aggressively into yours hitting that spot inside of you that you couldn’t reach with your fingers.
The vampire growled loudly, baring his fangs as black eyes stared menacingly into yours.
“D-Daddy. I’m sorry. You…just feel so good. Please don’t stop.”
He growled again much lower than before as he continued to pump his cock into you with rough abandon. Eddie’s head fell within the nook of your neck and your fingers tangled in his hair as you held him to you.
“You can—oh my god—you can take from me to, baby. Anything you need.”
“Ed—Eddie…wait…”, Steve tried to get his attention but the man was too far gone and when your head turned to face his he knew it.
“It’s ok, Steve. I’m ok.” Your reached out to hold his hand as he limply scooted forward to kiss your lips.
Your pussy clenched around him as Eddie’s teeth grazed your flesh, wincing when they punctured the skin. The fingers you had in his hair tightened as you felt the blood drain from your body. You had never felt anything as good as this before as your eyes rolled and the tingles within your body amplified to what felt like a burning degree.
“Y-Yes, Daddy. Harder. Please!”
The bed once again began to shake as he did what you asked, rolling his hips aggressively into you as he abused your g-spot over and over. His large palm cupped your cheek as he held your head still, grunting and growling as your walls continued to suck him in.
Your body trembled underneath his as you came harder than you ever had before, your face contorting in pain and pleasure when he released your throat and fucked you through your orgasm. Chasing his own high, he placed his forehead on yours as his hands tenderly petted your head.
“Yes.”, he panted against your lips in a gruff tone. “Yes. I love you, princess.”
You tried to wrap your arms around him but you could barely move. All you were able to do was tilt your head so you could gently kiss him while he thrust into you till you felt him release his seed into your cunt.
“I…I love you to, Eddie.”
Carefully sliding out of you, he quickly disappeared and returned with water, a wash rag, and a snack.
“Steve?”
You rolled to your side, his fingers slightly twitching in your hand to tell you he was listening even though his eyes were closed.
“I love you to.”
The boy smiled drunkenly as Eddie lifted you both up and leaned your backs against the headboard as he cleaned your bodies.
“I love you to, pretty girl. Eddie loves you to even though he won’t admit it.”
“I literally just did, you dork.”
“Hey, hey. Don’t be mean.”, his boyfriend chastised with a smirk.
“Here. You two eat this please.” You and Steve giggled like kids as you took the power bars from his hands and nibbled on the ends. “Shit. I think I’m going to have to give you two a bath because this rag isn’t going to do a damn thing. Do you think you both can walk?”
The human boy tries and immediately falls backwards, his head landing in your lap. As Eddie got up to help him, he paused as he watched you gently run your fingers through his hair as he continued to grin. The vampire sighed in pleasure at your action loving the little things you did to show that you cared. It had been so long since anyone had touched or even talked to them kindly and he loved even more that they were getting to experience things like this again through you.
“Am I in the bathtub already?”
“Jesus, no Steven. You are weirdest inebriated person I have ever meant and you aren’t even drunk or high.” Eddie lifts him into his arms and carries him into the bathroom, leaning him against the wall.
“I am high… on you.” The metalhead rolls his eyes as Steve pokes his nose, trying to hide the smile that wants to push through. He turns with the intention of coming to get you to find that you were already leaning against the other wall of the bathroom.
“I could have carried you. Are you ok?”
“Yeah.”, you sigh as you gesture absently. “Not the first time I’ve had to move during blood loss and it probably won’t be the last.”
The vampire listened to you two talk as he got the bath ready.
“Hey. The last time you were bleeding, you were flat on a table ma’am. No movement required.”
“Hm. Bled a few times growing up. M’mom is in jail remember?” Steve’s eyes became sad as he scanned your face. “Also boyfriends like John. Besides that night, had you ever gotten into a fight, Stevie?”
“Pfft, yeah a few. Once over a girl, another to protect some kids I was looking after…and then some Russian soldiers beat the shit out of me. That was fun.”
You looked at him with confusion as Eddie guided him into the water before coming to do the same with you.
“Yeah, I know. It sounds far-fetched but he’s telling the truth. We started dating a little after that particular incident so yeah.”
Holding your arm, he helps you down and you exhale as you lean your back against Steve’s chest while Eddie sits on the edge of the tub to clean you both.
“What about you?”, you ask.
“Ah, no fights for me, princess. I mean, no fights with people. I tried fighting a hoard of bats but obviously that didn’t end well.”
“And your dad?”
“Um, yeah that never ended well either.” His eyes glazed over a bit as he focused on the task before him but paused when your hand touched his.
“I’m sorry, baby.”
Flashing you a soft smile, he cleared his throat as he rose to his feet.
“Alright, I’m going to go change the sheets. Do you think you two can remain coherent till I come back.”
“Yes, DAD.”, Steve sassed making you giggle as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tighter to him.
################
You hide under your dinner table you used to have in your parent’s house when you were little. Your mother is screaming again as she searches for you.
“Where the fuck are you, you ungrateful brat?! Do you really think you’re any better for them? Always causing problems! Trust me, babe, they’d be better off without you.”
You jump when you feel a palm touch your bicep.
“Whoa. Sorry.”, Steve whispers. “I didn’t mean to scare you. What are we hiding from?”
You point towards the kitchen as your mother’s shadow passes along the tablecloth.
“Hey, what did we say, baby girl? You’re safe with us.”, Eddie beamed as he pushed some of your hair back behind your ear.
“But are you safe with me?”
Your eyes flew open as you clutched your chest.
“You know, some people just sleep at night.”, Eddie teases as he fully sits up beside you. “Are you alright?” When you nodded, his palm gently reached up to pet your head. “What were you dreaming about? It felt…sad.”
“You don’t know already?”
“I mean, I know it wasn’t one of my memories because you’ve only been dreaming about things that happened after I changed. What I felt right now…I haven’t felt since I was a little kid and my dad would come home drunk.”
“I was dreaming about my mom. When I was kid I used to hide under the dining room table while her and my dad would fight. That’s where I was with you two and…”
“And what?”
“I’m not putting you two in danger am I? I just…with everything that happened and Steve’s fears of you two needing to run again—”
Eddie silenced you by placing his fingers on your lips, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, and bringing you down to lay with your head on his chest. He sighed before telling you his story of a girl named Chrissy who died violently in his trailer and a town that tried to hunt him down for it claiming he was a devil worshipping freak. He explained about an evil being named Vecna who was actually murdering these people and he, Steve, and some others went down to that scary world to stop him.
Eddie told you about the bats he and his friend Dustin were meant to distract so Steve and his friends could get into a house to destroy this being.
His tone became shakier as he talked about buying more time so they could succeed and the battle he faced when he didn’t run away. The feeling of the bats pinning him to the ground and tearing into his flesh.
“The last thing I thought about was Steve. It was like…a montage of our relationship. I just wanted to go back to how things used to be before the murders when we would lay in bed and talk about leaving our stupid town.”, he heavily exhales, kissing your palm as it reaches up to caress his face.
“After I saved him, Steve told me we needed to run. That they still placed the blame on me even though they couldn’t find me. If they found out I wasn’t dead, bad things would happen. Y/N, after everything we’ve been through, these past two days have been nothing. I know that we’re all safe here but Steve always worried we may need to run again. He lost me once, he says… you’re not putting us in any kind of danger, sweetheart. If anything…now we’re putting you in danger.”
“I’m not afraid of you or things that come with you. I meant what I said. I love you both… I want to help and be there for you two anyway I can.”
Eddie smiled as he kissed your forehead.
“I wasn’t too rough with you was I?”
“No. The biting hurt at first but after…when you started draining me… fuck.”
His chest shook as he laughed making you smile as you held him tighter.
“I guess because you still had my blood inside you, you felt what I feel when I’m fucking him.” Lightly but firmly, Eddie tugged your hair back, placing his lips on yours. “You both feel amazing.”
“How much of Eddie was there? You seemed kind of gone.”
“I was there, sweetheart. The vampire kind of took over a bit but, trust me, I was there.”
Rolling on to his side, he kept his arm under your head as his other hand came up to touch your cheek while his eyes ran along your face.
“Next time, I’ll move a bit slower so I can really watch this beautiful face while my cock is stretching you open. Steve was right, you are tight but you took me so well.”
“Y-You felt good. No one’s ever been that deep before except…”
“Steve?” The vampire grins when you nod. “I know how you feel. The first time we were together, I swore I could feel him everywhere.”
“When did he start calling you Daddy?”
His thumb runs along your bottom lip as his now chocolate-colored irises continue to study you, watching as your chest rises and falls as you breathe nervously.
“A couple of months after we started dating, he said he had a fantasy. Steve always felt like he needed to be in control and just wanted to BE controlled in bed.” As you kiss the pad of his finger, he delicately placed it between your lips, his smile growing when your tongue ran along the flesh. “Is that what you need to, sweetheart? Do you need to be taken care of?”
When you nod your head again, he withdraws his thumb and leans over to passionately kiss your lips. Without releasing his hold on the back of your neck, he pulls away, and grazes his noses along yours, panting against your open mouth.
“Can you say it, baby?”
“I need you to take care of me, Daddy.”
############
@chelebelletx @mandyjo8719 @bimbobaggins69
#steddie x reader#steddie fluff#steddie smut#steddie fanfiction#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie fanfic#eddie stranger things#steve fanfic#steve smut#steve stranger things#joe keery#joseph quinn#stranger things#fan fiction#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steve fluff#dom!eddie munson#sub steve harrington#sub reader#vampire eddie munson#vampire eddie x reader#vampire eddie x steve#camboy steddie#stranger things au
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The Number You Have Called Cannot Be Reached 6
Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5
Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason)
Warnings: angst/depression and canon typical violence
Bruce sighed, absently feeling the air on his hands folded in front of his face. He stared unseeingly ahead. His frowned deeply, at a loss of what to do. Worry picked at his self control.
Something was up with Jason. Ever since the other night, something had happened between the thief and Jason. It had left him unsettled and off balance, that much was obvious. They’d all been able to see it.
Now, today, Jason had lost control. He’d been agitated of course, but Bruce hadn’t expected the outburst. Jason was usually good at managing his anger these days, at least in the family. He didn’t get physical with them anymore in anger. Except today Jason had suddenly pulled him up by the shirt, and Bruce had honestly expected him to punch him. Jason had shaken it off, but then he’d fled.
The urge to move, to do something, itched at him. He wanted to get answers, but confronting Jason was out of the question. Their truce was fragile, and it seemed every time he spoke to Jason he said the wrong thing. He didn’t know what to do except control the urge to go after his son. He couldn’t fight his demons for him. He could only try not to make it worse.
And so he sat there, staring, unseeing.
Dick’s footsteps, came down the stairs, easily recognizable: light and almost dancing to a rhythm only he could hear, skipping a step every now and then.
“Hey B, thought you were going golfing with the mayor, keeping up the old appearances and all that” he greeted brightly, as ever immune to Bruce’s mood. Or maybe Alfred sent him down to deal with him, that was also an option.
“Oh I love these,” Dick reached forward over Bruce’s shoulder to grab a protein bar from the backpack. He opened it and started to eat it without hesitation.
“Dick,” Bruce sighed, “this is evidence.”
Dick snorted and leaned on the console so he could look at Bruce. “You’re serious.”
Bruce raised an eyebrow.
Dick snorted again, of course Bruce was serious, then he pulled the backpack over and started rooting through it. Much to Bruce’s exasperation he opened another protein bar.
“Dick, they could be drugged.”
“As if you’d have let me take the first one if that was the case,” Dick mumbled around the mouthful of granola. Bruce mentally conceded the point.
“Anyways,” Dick swallowed and continued, reading the name tag on the inside of the backpack, “Danny Fenton, who’s that?”
Bruce sighed.
“The thief.”
“The Ghost!?” Dick looked up in excitement, “so we have a name now?”
“Presumably, it may not originally have been his backpack.”
“True, doesn’t help much either does it? Danny is very common and Fenton may not be Johnson, but it’s not exactly unique.”
“I haven’t looked it up yet.”
Dick narrowed his eyes.
“This has anything to do with why you’re brooding?”
Silence stretched between them, but Dick could be surprisingly patient when he wanted to. There was no point in dragging things out, it wasn’t a secret, Dick could easily find out through the surveillance if he wanted, Bruce would rather he didn’t.
“Jason was the one who delivered the backpack.”
“Ah.” There was the worried frown Bruce would have liked to avoid. He leaned down a bit to better face Bruce.
“You had a fight?” The question was posed carefully, softly, not betraying any inkling what he thought of that, in a way to gently pry the answer from Bruce, but Bruce knew his eldest son well enough to know he was already mentally running damage control options. That was Dick, always trying to keep their family together tooth and nail. There was a soft pang of appreciation in his chest he couldn’t articulate, instead he focused on the problem at hand.
“He’s convinced the thief needs help, I don’t actually disagree.”
Dick sat back in realization, his eyes flickered to the backpack and its sorry spoils.
“But he could still be working for someone,” Dick recited with a sigh, it was an old lesson. One he knew Jason wouldn’t have appreciated, not if he felt Bruce was dismissing his concerns. “B.”
“I know.”
Do you? Dick’s eyebrows asked, but he had the grace not to actually say it. He clapped Bruce on the shoulder instead, squeezing slightly.
“He’ll warm back up.”
“You think so?” He asked unable to look up at Dick.
“Hey,” Dick said brightly in a way that naturally drew attention to him, “we’ve come back from worse.” And there was that bright smile and that pang of appreciation was back, along with another warm feeling in his chest: hope.
“Well, I gotta get going, I’ve got work tomorrow. Just gotta grab a few more of these.”
And the feeling was gone.
“Dick.”
“We shouldn’t waste perfectly good food, B, also they’re W-Mark exclusives, they don’t have them in Blüdhaven.” He grinned, pockets stuffed with contraband. Invariably reminding Bruce of a younger version with pockets full of candy he’d been denied. Brat already knew he had won. Bruce waved him off with a sigh.
Dick practically skipped towards the stairs. Then he paused.
“Oh and B, if I was you, I’d check the phone at the bottom of the bag. It’s not a brand I recognize.”
With that he was off.
Bruce stared after him. Pride warred with annoyance. He’d been so absorbed in his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed Dick checking out the bag more thoroughly than the cursory look he himself had done when Jason had handed it to him.
He grabbed the bag and rooted around a bit, and just as Dick had said, there was a phone.
He pulled it out, and turned it over in his hands. It was made from dark blue plastic. The logo on the back, a stylized V in front of a globe, wasn’t one he recognized. It looked old and scuffed, had actual buttons and a jarringly small screen when you were used to modern smartphones.
It was also out of power.
With how old it looked, it was unlikely cordless charging was an option. He looked at the bottom edge where there was an actual mini headphone jack, along with what he assumed was the charging port - it wasn’t a type he recognized.
He frowned and got up. He wouldn’t be too late for his meeting with the mayor if he left now, not something he couldn’t brush off as eccentric forgetfulness at least.
He could drop the phone off at Tim’s on the way. Tim would get the phone working one way or another.
Oo o oO
Danny stayed underneath the pavement long after the not-ghost had left. The feeling of almost giving in was a crawling like ants underneath his skin. The threat of almost capture was like a noose around his neck - if they captured him, if they managed to contain him, he would never get home.
Eventually the bone deep tiredness of using his powers too much hit him, and he dragged himself back to his haunt, invisibly and intangibly, because he’d had much too much excitement today. He was raw and empty inside when he dropped onto his blanket pile and rolled up. He would get food some other day. Never mind that he was completely out. It wouldn’t end his existence, just weaken him. Ghosts at the core ran on willpower, and Danny wanted to go home.
A small squeak and rustle, had him opening his eyes a crack and turning his head to look to the far side of the room. There the rat was going his trash, the packaging probably still smelled like food.
He huffed and closed his eyes again. If he got truly desperate he could always eat the rat - It wouldn’t be the worst thing he’d eaten.
next
Masterpost for subscription
Sorry, it's not the longest part this time, but we got to appreciate a few other characters, yay! Hope you enjoyed, cause Danny sure isn't enjoying himself.
#Sorry Danny this is what you get for being my favorite character#all misery#Jason doesn't appear in this part#He'll be there next time angsting over how Danny keeps running away from him#Jason is catnip to Danny#Danny however doesn't do recreational drugs#sorry Jay#your ghost is on another rooftop#what is this#spoilers for the next part in the tags#Moku how dare you#dp x dc#dead on main#Missed Connections#angst#cw depression#Dick Grayson is a good detective#can we please appreciate him#let's try to ignore that he was eating Danny's stolen food#in Dick's defense the stolen food was already stolen#don't waste food#Bruce is trying to be a good dad
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Let You Break My Heart Again (Part 3)
Pairing: Miles Morales x fem!reader
Summary: You, Gwen, and Miles go out and have some fun!!!
Category: I forgot the opposite of angst
A/N: I barely remember the ATSV movie. I was so focused on not having a stroke that I forgot to pay complete attention, so lmk if anything is wrong please :-).
Looking between the two, nothing seems to be terribly wrong. Sure, Gwen is looking at you like she’s just seen a ghost, and Miles is looking at you like he’s just been caught doing something he shouldn’t. But they quickly recover before starting to speak.
“Hey, y/n. Long time no see-“
“What’s up, y/n?” Gwen and Miles both speak at the same time, before being cut off by you slowly closing the door on them. You are not dealing with this right now.
For a second you stand in front of the closed door, before you turn around and begin walking out of the apartment.
The door opens and Gwen and Miles come rushing out.
“You’re leaving? But I just got here,” Gwen says walking over to you.
You turn around. “Yeah, I have uh.. homework.”
“Oh c’mon. You know what they say, ‘homework is temporary, friendships are forever’,” she responds.
“No one has ever said that.”
“I just did,” she smiles. “So are you in or not?”
You pause before looking over at Miles. He looks almost pleading. What for? You don’t know. But you’re not going to let him get in between you and seeing your very long distance friend.
“Yeah. I’ll go,” you respond while Gwen cheers and high-fives a smiling Miles. “I need to change though.”
“Miles does too,” Gwen responds while Miles nods. “I’ll be on top of a building when you guys are done. You’ll have to figure out which one.”
Gwen climbs out the living-room window, leaving you and Miles in silence.
“Y/n-“ Mike’s starts before you cut him off.
“Don’t. Not right now. I just want to spend time with Gwen like how it used to be. We can talk after.”
As you start walking over to the bathroom, Miles responds, “tomorrow?”
“Sure,” you say before closing the bathroom door and changing into your spider-suit.
Swinging around the city with your friends made you feel at home. For the past few months you had felt like something was missing, this was it.
The adrenaline from jumping from tall buildings and catching yourself just before you hit the ground had you giddy. This was the happiest you had been in months.
Taking a break, the three of you sat on top of a building trying to catch your breath.
“Jesus, y/n. Do you need a minute? Or maybe ten?” Miles teases you. You send him a playful glare before going and sitting on the edge of the roof.
The sun was still up, but you could tell night was coming soon. You had always loved night time, looking up at the stars and the moon while thinking about all of the other things that have done the same as you. Of course, you couldn’t see the stars very well in New York because of light pollution, but you liked to pretend the lights on the buildings were stars. In your head, the city was its own little galaxy that you needed to protect.
“What do you think, y/n?” Gwen asks from beside you.
“I uh, I’m sorry what were you talking about?”
“The multiverse,” Miles replies.
“Oh. Well um, it’s pretty big I guess,” you respond while nervously picking at the gloves on your suit.
Gwen snorts. “You’re not wrong. But we’re talking about fate. Like how things are bound to happen in every universe.”
“Oh, we’ll I never really thought about that. I didn’t know the universes were that connected,” you reply, a little confused.
“You have no idea,” she mumbles, but before you can ask more questions, she gets up. “I’m a little hungry. How about we go back to that party on Miles’ roof?”
“Sounds good to me, I’ll kind of have to hide though,” Miles says.
You groan, realizing that you’re going to have to stand up and swing around again.
“Literally, how are you a spider-woman?” Gwen asks jokingly.
“I don’t know either,” Miles responds. “She didn’t even show up to a fight earlier.”
“Oh please, you’re one to talk about not showing up. Besides, that cow guy didn’t seem like that big of a deal.”
“Okay it’s time to go!” Gwen shouts, jumping off the building and swinging towards Miles’ apartment. You give Miles a look before doing the same.
As soon as you make it to the party, you decide to give Miles and Gwen space by going to get a soda. And maybe another cookie, making a mental note to ask Mrs. Morales where she got them.
As if hearing her name telepathically, Mrs. Morales approaches you.
“So? How did it go? Is he out of his angsty teen phase?”
“Um, it went well, but he’s still pretty angsty,” you reply, faking concern.
She laughs before looking around for him, only to find him under the water tower with a girl. “Who’s that?”
“Oh, her? That’s uh,” what was her fake name again? “Gwanda.”
“Gwanda huh? I better go find Jeff,” she replies, almost distracted. After she walks off, leaving you there, you try to find something to busy yourself, settling on picking at your nails.
You watched the whole interaction from afar. You really didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it was so hard not to. From Miles’ parents meeting “Gwanda,” to her leaving, to Miles and his mom talking. To be honest, the whole thing was hard to watch. So towards the end, you stopped. It hurt that Gwen left without saying goodbye to you directly, but you understood that she and Miles were better friends than you two were.
Apparently, Miles and his mom finished their conversation because Miles comes to find you and drag you away by the arm
“Let’s go, I wanna follow Gwen. This whole thing is weird,” he rushes out, still pulling you.
“Ow,” you mutter, making him loosen his grip. “Are you sure you just don’t want to see Gwen?”
“What? No,” he gives you a look, but you give him one too. One that says you don’t believe him but will pretend like you do.
You sigh, still following him. You just wanted to get home and change into comfy clothes at this point.
A/N: i got carsick while writing this
#across the spiderverse#into the spider verse#miles morales#miles morales x reader#miles morales x y/n#spiderman
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let me be your everlasting light (part 1/3)
18 plus! Minors DNI!!!
Pairing: Husk x Angel
Chapter 1: can’t take the effect and make it the cause
Summary: During a rough night at the studio, Angel made the terrible mistake of moaning out Husk's name at the climax of his shoot. After dealing with Valentino's abuse, the spider demon wanted to place blame on the one who is always plaguing his thoughts.
Warnings: Angst, mentions of abused and violence, a very angy Angel, breaking down
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: Hi hello! I'm VERY new to this fandom, always loved Hazbin Hotel but never delved into the fandom until the fourth episode of the show!
Hopefully they are in character enough, sorta think of it as a character arc for Angel I suppose? LOL!!!
Main title: Everlasting Light by the Black Keys
Chapter title: Effect and Cause by The White Stripes
AO3 link: x (The 2nd chapter is there as well!)
A plume of smoke escapes past Angel’s lips as the sound of his heels clicking on the floor fill the space of the empty hotel lobby. There was a look of exhaustion etched on his face while he made his way towards the bar. It was a hell of a day at the studio, dried mascara caked on the fur of his cheeks and his lipstick smudged across his lips. Everything ached with widespread pain, yet the spider demon forced himself to walk with poise.
While approaching the bar, his eyes fixated on Husk, his back turned towards him whilst cleaning a glass with a rag. The gentle yellow of the lights above him casting down onto his fur made it look all so peaceful.
Angel’s lips tug up into a soft smile at the sight, Husk has swiftly become his favorite demon to see after such an agonizingly long day.
He goes to settle down on a bar stool, allowing himself to slump forward. He props an elbow on the bar, resting his chin on his hand. “Hey Husky,” He purrs out, his voice a bit scratchy. “Mind pourin’ lil ol me a drink?” His other hand takes the cigarette dangling loosely from his lips, snuffing it out on the nearby ash tray.
Husk lets out a quiet grunt of acknowledgment, setting down the glass he had been cleaning and reaching for a bottle. He turns around with the bottle in hand and silently takes in the sight of Angel before him. His eyes, half-hidden under drooping eyelids and thick brows, seems to drink in the bedraggled figure of his friend.
“Looking like shit, doll,” Husk rasps out finally with the slightest sort of tenderness seeping into his gravelly voice. “Must have been rough today.”
Angel lets out a snicker, finding the nickname sweet as can be as he watches Husk pour him a drink. He sits up, taking the glass into one of his hands and bringing it up to his lips. He takes a large gulp, drinking half of it one go before setting it back down on the bar. A sigh of satisfaction leaves him, enjoying the taste of hard liquor on his tongue.
“Well, ya’know,” Angel finally replies, leaning forward to rest his head against the surface while running a slender finger around the rim of the glass, mauling over his day. “Val was bein’ an absolute bitch as usual...” He huffs out a sigh, a small frown tugging at his lips. “Slipped offa the stage during a show, jus barely by the way. But did he give a shit I hurt my back? ‘Course not.”
Angel rolls his eyes, sitting back up to meet Husk’s intent gaze. “Asshole made me work overtime, five dudes, ugly as hell.” He lets out a groan at the recollection, grabbing his drink to take another large swig before continuing, “Then Charlie was up my ass, askin’ why I was back so late. Y’know, just bein’ herself. It was hard enough today, was not willin’ ta deal with her constant chatter.”
Husk raises a brow, seemingly taking in Angel’s frustrations. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips while he grabs himself a glass. “Sounds like you had yourself quite the day.” Husk says with a dry chuckle as he poured his drink.
His voice drips with sarcasm as he adds, “And Charlie… Can’t blame her for trying to keep track of your sorry ass. She means well.”
Angel lets out a groan from his words. He rolls his eyes, finishing off his drink and sliding the glass towards Husk. As much as the spider demon hated to admit it, Husk always knew how to ground him, to make him acknowledge when he was being a bit too brash and a bit too rude. It was ever so galling.
“Ya can’t blame me, she’s like a puppy!” He exclaims, throwing all four hands up in a dramatic gesture. “Comin’ through the door, she’s right at your feet, yippin’ and yappin’, going on and on about how ya need to ‘relax’. All sunshine n’ rainbows. Now that… That’s hell. Hell on Hell.”
Husk shakes his head, pouring Angel another glass of the potent liquor. “You’ve got a point,” He grumbles, his arms crossing over his chest.
“She’s got that whole innocent ‘let me help you’ shtick going on.” The demon cat muses, his voice filled with a mix of amusement and mild annoyance. “Can be fucking infuriating sometimes.” He shakes his head slightly before fixing Angel with an intent stare.
“But I’ll tell you one thing doll,” He continues, reaching out to tap the rim of Angel’s freshly poured drink with one clawed finger. “That sort of caring isn’t common down here in this shitshow we call Hell.”
Angel takes a moment to ponder over his words before letting out a reluctant sigh. He was right, annoyingly enough; in his years spent in Hell, he’s never met anyone like Charlie.
“I guess..” He murmurs out, taking his glass in his hands to down half of the harsh liquor. “Least I got you Husky,” He purrs out, giving the older demon a sly wink. “Nothin’ better than talkin’ a bartender’s ear off. Specially if he gots the looks like you. I mean… Damn.”
Husk's eyes narrow slightly at his flirtatious remark, a low growl under his breath that made Angel smirk in satisfaction.
“Flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere, Angel,” Husk retorts with a snarl in his voice. “I’m just here to pour drinks and listen to your problems. Ain’t nothing more to it.” His claws grip at his own glass as he takes a long swig.
Angel gives Husk a faux pout, “C’mon babycakes, ya’know I’m just messin’. We’re friends, ‘member?” He lets out a sly chuckle. Although he has simmered down in regards to his constant sexual innuendos since they became closer, he still couldn’t stop himself from slipping in some flirting on the side of their usual conversations.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” Husk mutters gruffly, turning away and busying himself with cleaning another glass. Angel hears him take a deep breath, causing his brows to furrow. What an interesting reaction…
He shrugs it off and finishes his drink, setting the glass down with a clink before stretching all four lanky limbs up into the air, giving him a painful reminder of the condition his body was in. “‘Suppose it’s time ta hit the hay.” He gets up from his seat, letting out a big yawn. “See ya tomorrow mornin? For Charlie’s little… Exercises?”
Husk scoffs under his breath at the mention of Charlie’s ‘trust exercises’. “Sure thing,” He replies dismissively. “See you bright and early then.”
Angel takes his leave, contemplating over how cute Husk looked like when he was so reactive. A smile on his lips as he heads up the stairs, the older demon really knew how to plague his mind.
He was on his mind so much… Angel was getting fed up with it.
The next day comes around, yet Angel never showed up to Charlie’s morning routine. Although he wished he did, wished so very badly that he was able to be there then where he had to go. Valentino called him back to the studio only a few hours after he had laid down, a last minute shoot or something along the lines.
Angel fucked up badly during it, he fucked up real bad.
During the final take, while some stranger was above him, fucking into him hard and fast, all Angel could see was him.
Husk.
Once he reached his climax he shouted out his name, and god the look on Val’s face when he came down from his high was nothing short of terrifying. Then came another brutal talking in his dressing room, thrown around, talked down to, kicked. Fuck, did it hurt.
'What is wrong with you? You do not utter any other name, you do not think of anyone else then who is pounding your pretty little ass! And you will not ruin another take ever again.' He told him.
The words that felt like sharp knives deep within his body bounced around in his mind as he pushed open the doors of the hotel. Charlie’s drill seemed to have just finished, he could hear brief chatter before it all died down once Angel walked past them. All eyes were on him, he could feel it and it made him feel disgusting.
He keeps his head down, all four arms crossed as he wordlessly limps his way up the stairs and goes right into his room.
Angel drags his tired body over to his vanity mirror, placing two hands on the edges to keep himself from crumpling down onto the ground. He stares back at his reflection with weary eyes, he looked so… Fragile.
His heart wrenches in his chest at the sight of himself, glaring at his reflection. “Pathetic.” He seethes out. Because that was what he was, what he always will be.
In a fit of rage and despair, he swipes everything off the vanity in one go, the sound of makeup cases and bottles crashing to the ground fell on deaf ears. He felt so much, so fucking much, and god it was just so overwhelming. Why did that demon have to do this to him?
“Fuck!” He growls out, grabbing his chair and throwing across the room. He breathes harshly, going around the room to skew his things about, he needed it to be ruined, ruined like him.
As he grabs an empty bottle of booze to throw against the wall, the sound of knocking makes him freeze. Angel stays silent, hoping whoever there would walk away, yet the door creaks open anyway. He whips his head around with a dangerous glare in his eyes, expecting to see Charlie. Yet, it was Husk. His eyes soften for a fleeting moment, his heart fluttering in his chest.
Although that gaze hardens promptly once he is reminded it was all because of him. He put him in this situation. This fucking asshole.
“Fucking hell.” Husk mutters under his breath. He takes a step inside, closing the door behind him.
The grasp on the bottle tightens as the other begins to approach him slowly. “Angel, what happened?” Husk asks, his voice ever so slightly wavering.
Angel scoffs. “What do ya think happened?” The spider demon snaps, his hand beginning to hurt from how hard he was gripping the bottle. Seeing him right now was the last thing he needed, seeing that concern, that softness, fuck him.
“Fuckin’... Fuck!” He roars, hurling the bottle towards Husk. Despite his state of mania, he still made sure to miss the demon cat, the glass shattering against the wall behind him.
Husk barely flinched, his ears twitching in slight annoyance. He then takes another cautious step towards him, closing the distance between them. “Calm down for fuck’s sake. What happened? Talk to me.”
Angel’s hands tremble with anger and frustration, his mind a whirlwind of self-loathing.
“Fuck off!” He spits out venomously, “It’s you, it’s your fault asshole!” His entire face was filled with anguish. Why? Why did Husk have to be the one Angel obsessed over? Why did he have to be into the one fucking demon on hell that wanted nothing to do with him? He was Angel fucking Dust, he could get anyone he wanted, it wasn't fair. None of this was fucking fair.
Husk’s eyes widened in shock at Angel’s harsh words. “My fault?” Husk repeats, disbelief laced in his tone. “How the fuck is it my fault?”
Angel doesn’t respond, his eyes frantically searching around the room until his eyes spot one of the makeup bags he threw earlier near his bed. He needs something to take the edge off right now, he needs to forget, needs to be numb, he needs to be okay. He stomps over to it, picking it up and zipping it open to begin searching for anything he could find.
He didn’t realize Husk was rushing over to him until his clawed hands grabbed onto the case in an attempt to pull it away from Angel.
“Fuck no, you’re not doing this right now.” His voice rings out gruffly, but even Angel can pick up the unmistakable tremor of concern underneath it.
Angel snarls at Husk, his voice dripping with venom. “Get your fucking hands off, ya prick!” He wrenches the makeup case from Husk’s grasps, sending a sharp glare in his direction. His heart was pounding erratically in his chest as the anger continues consume his entire being.
“I can do whateva’ the fuck I want!” He cradles the bag against the chest possessively. “And it is your damn fault,” Angel continues. “Ya got me…” He groans out in frustration, one of his hands coming up to push through his puffy hair. “Got me all fuckin’ twisted up inside! You don’t really give a shit, just anotha sinner in this shithole.”
Husk’s eyes narrow, his frustration mounting. He takes a step forward, the tension crackling in the air. “Twisted up inside?” Husk scoffs bitterly. “What the fuck do you even mean?”
The hand in Angel’s hair grasped tightly at the strands, harshly pulling. His eyes flew around the room, not able to settle his gaze on anything as he tried to think of his words. “You... You know exactly what I fuckin’ mean. Don’t you play dumb with me asshole!" His voice breaks, and his hand pulls harder at his hair till his scalp burned. "You don’t give a damn, I don’t even know why you’re here.”
“You think I don’t give a shit?” Husk’s tone raised with a mix of pain and defiance. His eyes lock with Angel, refusing to back down. “Think again, spider boy. Seen enough pain and suffering to know when I see it. God damnit, I’m here aren’t I? Ain’t that enough to tell you that just maybe I care?”
Angel’s eyes twitched, his words coming out of one ear and right out the other. He takes the final step forward, closing the gap between them till their bodies are almost touching. His breath came out as ragged gasps as he stared directly into Husk’s fierce gaze.
“If ya give a damn, then why the fuck do you torture me?” He seethes out, taking notice of the confusion in the other’s eyes. Of course he had to spell it out for him. Angel continues fiercely, tears welling up in his eyes. “Bein’ all nice ta me, nice as ya can be at least, listenin’ to me, pourin’ me drinks. Yet ya reject every single fucking advance. Won’t give spare me a glance, me, Angel Dust!”
His hands shake with both rage and vulnerability as reaches up to Husk’s bow tie, gripping it tightly.
“And guess what? I still want ya.” Angel spits out through gritted teeth, the admission laced with equal parts of desire and anger. “And you know that, don’t ya? You like it, havin’ the famous whore of Hell always chasin after you, yet not giving him an inch to work with. Ya like fucking with my head.”
Husk’s eyes were wide as Angel glared down at him. He seems to be rendered speechless, a heavy silence between them as they both soak in Angel’s words.
Then, there was two clawed hands wrapping around his thin wrists. They were gentle as they pried his hands away from his bow tie. Conflict quickly writes across Angel’s face, eyes flickering down to Husk’s hands.
“Do you really think I’d ever enjoy this?” Husk begins, his voice hoarse, strained with emotions. “Fuckin’ hell Legs, there is nothing fun about that, nothing at all. You don’t get it, I don’t want to be some doll for you to throw around just because you’re feeling desperate.”
A flicker of vulnerability crosses Angel’s eyes. This wasn’t what he was expecting at all. He was expecting a violent outburst, to feel a stinging hand across his face. But… He didn’t get any of that. Husk talked to him with patience, his hands barely wrapped around his wrists. Fuck, and the way he stared into his eyes, it felt like he saw his damaged soul.
“I…” Angel begins, feeling at a loss for words. His anger sheds away in a blink of an eye, now he was left confused and not only that, he felt like a total asshole. “Husk…”
He was cut off by the slight squeeze of Husk’s hands. Then he finally takes notice of those yellow eyes, there was a fire burning within them, an unspoken desire.
“You want me? You really fuckin’ want me?” Husk leans closer until their breaths mingle together. “Then prove it.”
His eyes widened, searching his face to confirm this was real, that this wasn’t another rejection.
Angel’s gaze softens, and tears cloud his vision. “I’ll prove it.” He murmurs out, his voice shaky enough to make him feel embarrassed.
The spider demon was the one to close the gap between them, pressing his lips against Husk’s with pure desperation. He was so… Soft. Right now, in Angel’s eyes, everything about Husk was soft.
Husk didn’t push him away like Angel expected. Instead, he responded to Angel’s desperate kiss with equal need. He feels one clawed paw finding its way to tangle itself into Angel’s soft white hair, while the other settled firmly against the small of his back. Husk pulled him closer, and it felt so very warm.
Angel’s eyes screwed tight, tears seeping out and creating a path down his cheeks, making the kiss taste salty mixed within booze and cigarettes.
Husk takes the lead, backing up until the back of his knees hit the bed. He lowers himself down onto the plush surface and Angel follows, moving to straddle the cat demon’s lap. He tilts his head down, deepening the kiss.
It was so much better than all the times Angel day dreamed it in his head. Husk wasn’t rough, yet he matched Angel’s eagerness, pulling his body close till there was no space left between them.
His lips felt like Heaven. How ironic.
What felt like both forever and only a fleeting few moments, Angel was the first to pull away, taking in ragged breaths. He stares down at Husk, in complete awe. Husk gaze only held warmth and understanding.
That gaze was enough to make Angel lose it. He wanted so badly to go into his usual act, settle back into his persona, to make some sort of cheeky remark yet he couldn’t, not right now.
Right now, he was just Anthony.
Fresh tears fill his eyes as he goes to shove his face into the crook of Husk’s neck. He sobs against his fur as all four arms wrap around the other’s body, his hold practically screaming, don’t let go. Never let go. Stay.
“Husk…” He croaks, feeling so hopeless in the moment for showing such a vulnerable side to him. A raw, unfiltered display of pain and anguish and fear.
Gently, Husk lowers them both further down onto the bed, his arms wrapping around his slim torso.
“Shh… It’s alright.” Husk murmurs softly, running a comforting hand up and down Angel’s back. “I’ve got you.”
He’s got him.
That... sounds so nice.
Husk was so wonderfully patient, allowing Angel to release all those pent up emotions that have been festering inside of him for far too long. There was no room for a façade, not right now, Angel allowed himself to cling onto Husk as if he was a life line.
There are no grand promises or empty reassurances, just the comfort of being held and heard by someone who understands pain all too well.
Angel then finds himself beginning to calm down, his breathing steadying itself. Not even an ounce of help from drugs or alcohol this time.
He forces himself up, lifting his head from Husk’s shoulder. His voice comes out choked and broken as he looks into the older demon’s eyes.
“Fuck… I’m sorry,” He mutters, his voice filled with remorse. “Didn’t mean to fuckin’ break down like this.” He wipes at his tears angrily, a mix of frustration and self disgust coursing through him. Did he seriously just sob his eyes after sharing his first kiss with Husk? How pathetic.
He closes his eyes, taking a slow breath. “I… I also shouldn’t have blamed it all on you.” He lets out a long sigh, there was nothing worse than when he had to admit he was wrong.
While his eyes were closed, Angel feels a hand cupping his face and the sound of deep chuckle hits his ears. He slides one eye open to look down at the demon below him with curiosity.
“That must have been hard for you to say.” There was a smirk on his face and Angel wished he had it in him to give him a witty remark. Luckily, Husk continued, “I get it doll, sometimes it feels good to place blame on someone. I sure as hell do it all the time.”
His thumb strokes away a stray tear, and fuck, Angel has never seen such a tender look on the usually grumpy demon’s face.
“I’m sorry too, that I made you feel like I was just trying to torture you. In all honesty, I had no idea you… Actually felt this way towards me.”
Angel’s brow quirked. “Are ya serious? I mean… How many times have I hit on ya?”
Husk rolls his eyes, his smile not wavering. “And how many times have I seen you hit on others?”
Angel huffs out, he got him there.
“But listen to me. You’re allowed to want what you want,” His words turn into soft murmurs. “And I’m here now… To be whatever you need me to be, long as you don’t treat me like one of your boy toys.”
Tears well up into his eyes once again, nuzzling into the tender hand on his cheek. He purrs out a sigh from the contact as he leans in closer. “I don’t need ya to be anythin’,” He says barely above a whisper, his lips barely brushing against Husk’s. “I just need ya to be here right now, want ya to hold me.”
Without hesitation, Husk’s embrace around Angel tightened, holding him securely against his chest. Angel takes the chance to wiggle down, burying his face into his furry chest, breathing in his musk.
“I’ll hold you all night if you need me to.” He replies in a low voice, his lips grazing over the top of his head.
Angel hums contently in response, taking his words and holding them closely to his heart. As silence falls between them, a thought comes to his mind. He chuckles softly, the sound muffled against Husk’s chest.
“Ya’know… I don’t think I’ve eva been on top of a guy without him fuckin’ me,” He says playfully, yet his voice was still filled with genuine warmth. He peers up, just enough for his pink eyes to peak out. “It’s nice.”
The demon below him then lets out a low chuckle, his deep voice vibrating against the spider demon’s head nestled against his chest. “Well ain’t that something,” Husk replied, a smirk on his lips. “Glad to be your first.”
Angel settled his head back against Husk, nuzzling into his fur with a soft smile on his lips. He laid there with Husk all night, and for the first time in a very long time, he was able to get some decent sleep. Husk felt like an oasis amidst the chaos of Hell, and right now?
Right now that was more than enough.
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"now playing:.."
cw: fluff, angst(??) in itadori's part
featuring: gojo satoru, geto suguru, megumi fushiguro, nanami kento, yuuji itadori
a/n: the way i literally deleted all of the fic and had to redo it. also has anyone read the webtoon 'weak hero' cuz im re-reading it and there are literally ZERO fics abt it. also pls lmk if u find any apocalypse-type jjk or aot fics. lmk how this is!! (i think i turned geto in another version of gojo, i literally cannot write for anyone but him its so sad. also i feel like megumi's made no sense LMAO)
GOJO SATORU: 'always forever' by cults.
"you and me.. always, forever!! we could stay.. alone, together!!"
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
"hey, stop! get away suguru!" utahime shouts, running away from the 16 year old. "nope, sorry utahime! no tag-backs!!" he responds, slapping her back and running away.
"fine! screw you!" she shouts, running to haibara and tagging him quickly.
"haibara! get me!" yells suguru, waving his arms. "okay! if you say so!" haibara responds, doing as the upperclassmen says.
"thanks!" he smiles, making a bee-line towards utahime. "stop it! (y/n) help me, please! why aren't you two playing?" she yells.
"we're tired man.." satoru says, resting his head on yours as you lean against his shoulder, eating a popsicle.
"you were sitting there the whole time!" shoko exclaims. "you didn't even do anything." nanami agrees, having yet to be caught.
"if you need some shade you're free to join us." you say. "no thanks, we're actually getting excercise, unlike you guys. so lazy.." suguru responds.
"hey! stop ganging up on us! we'll sit if we want to! get lost!!" satoru shouts.
.・。.・゜✭・.
after 10 minutes of running around some more, the others decide to call it a day and take a seat in the shade of a seperate tree, not wanting to disturb the two of you. and not wanting to deal with satoru complaining.
"hey, this is nice y'know.." satoru starts, "just being alone together, while the others do their own thing. we should do this more often, just the two of us." he continues. "yeah, it's nice." you agree, looking up and placing a kiss on his jaw.
"hey! look at the sunset!" utahime exclaims, directing your attention away from your boyfriend for a moment. "oo, it's so pretty!" you gush.
"yeah," satoru agrees, looking at you. "it is pretty."
0:40 ——|———————— -3:20
GETO SUGURU: 'lovers rock' by tv girl.
"and if you're too drunk to drive, and the music is right. she might let you stay, but just for the night"
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
just like any teenager, suguru believes he can hold alcohol pretty well. he can't.
when shoko sneaks alcohol into the dorms, she convinces the 4 of you to try some. of course, satoru boasts about how well he can tolerate alcohol and challenges suguru to a 'drink off', as he says. after taking a few drinks from his glass, satoru is out cold. shoko decides to put the bottle away and take satoru to his room, leaving you with your drunk boyfriend to take care of.
"please get up, sugu. let me take you back to your room." you say, trying to convince him to get off your lap. "nahh, i'm good." he responds, slurring his words.
"okay fine, stay there then." you say, standing up and leaving him to lay on the floor. "wait-! where are you going? don't leave!" he exclaims, standing up too quickly. you move to catch him, swinging one of his arms over your shoulder to support his weight.
"back to your room, suguru," you respond, "that's where we're going."
"no! i don't wanna." he says stubbornly, wrapping his other arm around you. "wait- stop! we're gonna fall!" you shout. "then we can fall..!" he giggles.
"oh my god, you're so stubborn. i'm taking you to my room." you say, slightly agitated. "ooo, didn't know you were like that." he says, wriggling his eyebrows. 'kill me now.' you think, realizing your mistake, knowing he won't leave you alone about it.
"let's hurry to your room then." he says, leaving a sloppy kiss on your cheek.
you drag him to your room and drop him on the bed and head to the bathroom to do your skincare. when you come back, you find him staring at you, love prominent in his eyes.
"hey, cutie." he flirts with a grin on his lips. "shut up and go to bed." you respond.
"ow, so rude." he says, making himself comfortable under the covers.
"i love you.." he says, giving you a wet kiss on the cheek. "i love you too, go to sleep." you say, facing away from him. he wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer, kissing your nape a few times and snuggling into your neck.
"goodnight.." he mumbles, falling asleep soon after. "goodnight, sugu."
1:20 ————|—————— -3:20
MEGUMI FUSHIGURO: 'see you again' by tyler, the creator.
"can i get a kiss? and can you make it last forever..."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
it's not often you and your friends get to hang out, often too busy with school work.
"wooo! i love the beach!" yuuji exclaims, chasing nobara as you all make your way to the sand. upon arriving, itadori quickly takes off his shoes and clothes, leaving him in his swimwear and runs into the water.
"guys!! (y/n)!! nobara!! megumi!! come swim!!" he exclaims, waving his arms. "coming!! wait up!" nobara says, running into the water.
after placing the towels and bags on the sand, you and megumi make your way to the water. "ugh! stop splashing me itadori!" nobara yells, splashing water back at itadori.
stepping into the water, megumi holds his hand out for you. "here." he says, offering you his hand. "thank you." you say, smiling at him. "eww! you guys are gross!" nobara says, splashing you with water as itadori joins in, splashing megumi.
"hey!" megumi scolds, throwing a beachball at itadori. "ow! what the hell?" itadori exclaims, as nobara laughs at him. "don't laugh, nobara!!"
"whatever.." she responds, splashing him again and swimming off. "get back here!" says itadori. "never!!" she retorts, getting splashed seconds later.
.・。.・゜✭・.
"oh god.. i'm so tired.." you say, heading back to the dorms. "i need a massage so bad." you continue. "i could give you one when we're back?" megumi offers, the others not being able to hear over their yells and shouts at each other. "i'd like that, thank you!" you beam, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
after changing your clothes, you lay down and megumi begins massaging the knots out of your back. letting out a sigh of pleasure, you say, "thank you, megumi.." you say, smiling softly. "anytime." he responds fondly.
after a bit of silence, megumi decides to break it. "you know, sometimes i wonder.." if you look both ways when you cross my mind. "yeah?" you urge him to continue. "no, nevermind.." he replies. "you sure?" you ask. "yeah." he says smiling. "okay.." you say, deciding not to push him.
"i'm done.." he says, moving away and tucking you in. "can i get a kiss?" you ask, as he starts to leave. and can you make it last forever? smiling, he walks over and places a soft kiss on your lips. "goodnight.." he says. "goodnight... i love you." you say, smiling up at him. "i love you too." he says, placing another kiss on your cheek and shutting the door behind him.
2:00 ——————|———— -3:20
NANAMI KENTO: 'for the first time' by mac de marco.
"it's just like seeing her.. for the first time..again.."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
two weeks. it had been two weeks since kento had seen you face-to-face. having to go on a mission out of the country, he wasn't very fond of leaving you alone for a long time. and even though you reassured him over and over, saying "oh, i'll be fine!! don't worry," and "it's only two weeks.. you'll be back in no time." he still worried.
and after two dreadful and godawful (according to him) weeks, he was finally back in japan, handing in his report.
"alright, that's everything. you're free to leave." upon hearing those words, he rushed out and quickly headed home.
"kento?" you asked, when you heard the front door open. "i'm home." he said warmly, with a fond smile etched on his face. 'they're so beautiful, just like when we first met.' running up to him, you wrap your arms around his neck and give him a warm hug, asking "how are you?".
"i'm okay, how have you been?" he asks. "ehh, it's been the same." you respond. squeezes his arms around your waist tighter and places soft kisses on your face.
"what's gotten into you, kento?" you question, laughing softly. "i missed you." he states, placing a final kiss on your forehead. "i missed you too, dear. how about you shower and we can eat? i made your favourite." you say, smiling up at him. "okay.. wait for me, my love." he responds, leaving to go shower.
.・。.・゜✭・.
after eating, you both head to bed and lie down. wrapping your arms around kento, you rest your head on his shoulder and look up at him.
"i missed you kento.." you say sleepily. "i missed you too." he responds. "i love you.." you add, letting sleep engulf you. "i love you too." he whispers, while softly sleeping.
'it's just like seeing her for the first time.. again..'
2:40 ————————|—— -3:20
YUJI ITADORI: "i'll never smile again" by tommy dorsey.
'i'll never smile again...untill i smile at you'
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
'how did this happen?' he thinks to himself. 'this was supposed to be a grade one curse, where the hell did the special grade come from?'
you and yuuji were paired up to travel to shibuya to excorsise a grade one curse. easy enough, right? WRONG!! like all missions in shibuya, something had to go wrong, and in this case, a special grade appeared. you both tried your best to excorsise it, but all your efforts were futile as you were knocked out, and the curse remained in the city.
it had been two hours since then, another sorceror was sent to excorsise the curse. but yuji didn't care, his partner was unconsious and greatly injured, for heavens sake! you had been impaled in the arm and legs and cursed buds were planted inside you, growing deeper and deeper the more you used cursed energy.
i mean, it was already bad enough that an s grade curse appeared, but know you can't even use cursed techniques? the 15 year old couldn't recall what he had done to deserve this, but that's because he didn't do anything. the world is just cruel.
he couldn't ever imagine smiling or being truly happy in a world without you. you were the love of his life. you were his everything. he couldn't lose you too.
'i'll never smile again, until i smile at you.' he thinks to himself. 'please.. whatever god is up there, please save my partner.. i'm begging you..'
love really is the most twisted curse of all.
3:20 ——————————| -3:20
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jjk#jjk fluff#satoru gojo fluff#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jjk megumi#megumi fushiguro fluff#itadori yuuji#yuuji x reader#jjk itadori#yuji itadori#itadori x reader#itadori angst#nanami kento#jjk angst#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#nanami x reader#nanami fluff#kento nanami#geto suguru#suguru geto#geto x reader#geto fluff#getou suguru x reader
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Little Leopard [3]
"If it weren't for seven men that fateful night you wouldn't be here now. They showed you good people did exist. That life can be great, that you can be loved and cared for. These seven men were the men you loved and cherished. These men were your mates. Your safety blanket. And to them. You were their Little Leopard."
Header Credit: Me
Pairing: OT7 X Hybrid!Reader
Genre: Hybrid! AU, Strangers to Lovers! AU, Rich!BTS, Fluff, Angst(And I mean Angst), Polyamorous!BTS
Warnings: Mentions Of Eating Disorder, Body Dysmorphia (if you squint), Depression, Anxiety, PTSD
Word Count: 5.7k
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The adjustments were difficult. You just couldn’t comprehend the respect and care you were being given by these seven men. It had only been a week or two but it was so overwhelming. It felt too good to be true. It felt like if you turned a corner something bad would happen. That this was just a ruse to get you to trust them before it all went back to how you were used to. You didn’t mean to think so ill of them but you couldn’t help it, your relationship with humans from the beginning of your life had been nothing but torture. They knew that too which is why you were grateful for the patience and space they gave you, doing their absolute best to gain your trust and when they were to finally gain it, they would absolutely treasure it and do their absolute best to never break it.
You’ve never felt so much appreciation for seven humans ever. They never pushed you to tell them anything, never force you to do anything you were uncomfortable doing, and always made sure they weren’t pushing any of your boundaries. And at least one of them was always there with you if your anxiety got bad or if you have a nightmare. You were never left to deal with it on your own. Some days were better than others and today unfortunately wasn’t a good one.
“Hey, Kitty, how are you doing? On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not very good and 10 being feeling great.” Taehyung says softly as he peers into the room you had now claimed and pouts seeing you curled up on the bed silently staring out the window. They had come up with a system best suited for you. They knew it was hard for you to express how you were feeling and communicate your emotions, you had gone years not being allowed to and you had years of trauma built up so they used scales to get an idea of how you were feeling and then they’d know where to go from there. Taehyung could already guess that today would be low from your body language.
“Uhh, a-a four I g-guess? ‘M sorry…” You say guiltily slowly turning to face him, wincing slightly from your wounds that had yet to fully heal. A look of guilt and just sheer exhaustion written all over your face making him pout and shake his head, carefully coming over and kneeling beside you.
“Hey be careful you’re still healing. It’s okay Kitten, you’re allowed to have bad days, it’s a part of healing mentally and physically, you have nothing to apologise for hm? Wanna tell me what’s making you feel like this today or are you not ready yet?” He asks politely, holding his hand out for you to take not wanting to give you any physical touch unless you wanted it which today you do, placing his hand on top of your head wanting pets, a rumble coming from your chest when he scratches behind your hybrid ear a small smile appearing on his face. You need something to ground yourself and their touch and scent were so soothing and welcoming that you knew it would help you today.
“Night terror. I think that’s w-why. I-I don’t wanna talk about that though i-is that okay?” You say timidly leaning into his touch more to relax. You always felt timid around them still, you couldn’t help it they were much bigger than you and their good looks definitely didn’t help.
“Oh Kitty of course that’s okay, but just know you’re safe here, nothing will hurt you ever again okay? Now I have some ideas to get these bad thoughts away. Wait here I’ll be back!” He says with a smile before rushing away to do whatever he had planned. You carefully sit up and pout waiting for him to come back only to hear a knock on your door, Jimin peers in and gives you the smile that always makes your heart flutter.
“Hey Petal. Taehyungie told us it’s not a very good day for you today? It’s okay to have days like this, so he’s come up with an idea. Whenever you have bad days like this it’s going to be a day of self-care and love and a day where we will cheer you up how does that sound?” Jimin says sitting on the edge of the bed making you hum and nod at the thought. It definitely sounded like something you needed right now.
“Great I’m glad you like the sound of it, now will you come with me for the first part of your day?” He asks tilting his head at you and holding his hand out for you which you take, he carefully helps you up and guides you into the bathroom where Taehyung sat on the floor in front of the bathtub watching it fill up and turns and smiles at you.
“Hey Kitten we thought a nice bath will help relax you first hm? Here we have these bath bombs they make your bath smell all nice and the water change colour, take a pick and we’ll put one in.” Taehyung smiles holding out a basket to you. You hesitate before taking it from him and looking down at them tilting your head as you look at them, your nose twitching from the overwhelming smells of all the bath bombs making you let out a little sneeze, they giggle and stare at you as you pick them up one by one and sniffing them until you find the one you like the best and hold it out to Taehyung.
“You have a sensitive nose like Jungkookie huh? This is his favourite scent too. Nice and subtle. Come here watch this.” Taehyung chuckles and holds the bath bomb above the water as you kneel beside him curiously, eyes widening in awe as he drops the ball into the bath full of water and it immediately begins to fizz. They both laugh at the shock and curiosity on your face as you watch it dissolve but it made their hearts feel heavy too. The thought that you never even got to experience the little things in life. That everything was new to you and a learning curve. They all sworn to themselves that you will get to experience only the best things in life even if it is just a bath bomb in water.
“It’s so pretty…” You murmur in awe watching the limpid water change to a shimmery purple, slowly placing your hand in the water and moving it around to watch the glistening water swirl and make patterns, letting out a noise of surprise when you touch the dissolving ball and it lightly tickles your had from the fizzing.
“Not as pretty as you Angel. Now come on let’s get you in the bath and I’ll give you nice head scrubs hm?” Jimin says gently, making your face flush and look away from him as he takes the hair tie out of your hair to let it cascade down your back.
“Jiminie gives the best head scrubs when it comes to washing hair.” Taehyung grins, standing up, ruffling Jimin’s hair making huff and nudge him before he smiles at you and nods in agreement as you murmur a small ‘okay’ before standing up and looking at them with hesitation wanting them to turn around so you could undress from your clothes without eyes on yours You didn’t want them to see you so exposed. You had so many scars too, you wanted to hide as much as possible.
“Don’t worry Y/N I’m leaving now, I have to plan the rest of your day out, Jiminie will turn around for you.” Taehyung coos before exiting the bathroom and Jimin turns his back to you. You quickly strip yourself from the clothes which were Jimin’s since you had yet to get your own and climb into the tub, sighing in contentment as the warm water relaxes your tense muscles, pulling your legs to your chest so you felt less exposed and shyly whisper out,
“Y-You can turn around now…”
Jimin gives you a reassuring grin before kneeling again in front of the bath and rolls his sleeves up and picks up the jug beside him and scoops up some of the water and places his other hand on the back of your neck to support it.
“Lean your head back for me petal and close your eyes so I can wet your hair. It’s okay I’ve got you, I’m not going to look anywhere you don’t want me to. Relax you’re safe.” He coos seeing the hesitation in your eyes. All you needed was a bit of encouragement, and reassurance that you were in a very safe environment.
You slowly lean your head back and close your eyes, humming to yourself when the warm water is poured over your hair a small smile on your lips noticing how careful he was around your hybrid ears knowing they couldn’t get a lot of water in them otherwise you’d get an ear infection from the moisture in them. You jump feeling his fingers suddenly in your hair and begin to gently massage at your scalp to lather up the shampoo he had now put in your hair, hearing him chuckle as you begin to purr from the sensation. Ever since they began to give you affection you couldn’t get enough of it. After all, you had many years of no affection to catch up on. And they were more than willing to give you it whenever you liked.
“There we go, Angel. All done.” Jimin says making your eyes snap open as he pulls his hands away and begins to dry his hands on the towel, an amused grin on his face seeing the small pout on your lips. You had spaced out so quickly that you hadn’t even realised that he had washed out the shampoo and conditioned your hair. It startled you at the effect they all had on you. In such a short period of time, you had grown to enjoy their presence, the nicknames they had all given you, and their comforting scents and touches. You had never felt safer, but there was always a nagging voice in the back of your head to not be so trusting of them already, that they’ll turn against you once they have your trust. You couldn’t stop it so all you could do was try to ignore it but sometimes it was hard.
“Thank you, Jimin.” You say politely before looking at your arms and peering at your thighs, throat tightening at the sight of all your scars. They weren’t very noticeable usually but every time you bathed they were always more prominent and it made you feel ill. No matter how much you will recover mentally, you will always still have to live with the physical memories of them. You will never be able to forget that chapter of your story no matter how many more chapters you make.
“Hey, Angel look at me not them. Talk to me about what’s going on in that pretty head of yours hm? Your thoughts are allowed to be out in the open here. You won’t be punished or anything like that. I’m here to listen and help get rid of those thoughts. We’re here to listen and get rid of them.” Jimin coos stroking your hair for comfort. You turn to look at him with tears in your eyes, your voice stuck in your throat making him pout and coo at you.
“T-They’re ugly. T-The s-scars. T-They make m-me ugly. I-I’ll never be able to get rid of them. Y-You all m-must think I-I’m disgusting. W-Why did you save m-me Jimin? I-I’m a lost cause. Y-You never should have found me that night.” You sniffle and he immediately shakes his head at you and cups your face in his hands and his thumbs wipe away the tears that slip down your cheeks.
“Petal no, you’re perfect the way you are. So perfect. You may have scars but they make you who you are. These scars are your battle scars. They each may hold a dark story, yes but every single one shows everyone that you, my little leopard are a survivor. A warrior. A warrior is not built of ease but suffering, and this is why they chose to build themselves to ease suffering and I know that you are capable of doing so. You are the toughest person I know. Look at you, Angel! You’re showing that you’re willing to heal and find who you really are. You are doing so well and all of us could not be any more proud of you. You will overcome this. It’s not going to be an easy process, healing never is but remember you are not alone anymore Y/N. You have me, Taehyung, Jungkook, the hyungs. We are all here to hold your hand through this. With time all this will be a distant memory, you are anything but a lost cause. We saved you because we believe everyone deserves a second chance at life. Especially you Petal. We found you that that night because of fate. It wasn’t your time. We were meant to find you that night and I’m so glad we did because believe it or not you are the best thing to happen to us in a long time and I’ll be damned if we let this fucked up system fail you again.” He says seriously, his eyes not once breaking contact with yours, letting a smile fall on his face as you stare at him with adoration. No one has ever told you anything like that before. It warmed your heart. You meant something to someone. Not just one person but seven.
“T-That was really refreshing to hear. T-Thank you, Jiminie. I appreciate your words.” You sniffle leaning into his hands, squeaking as he places a kiss on your forehead making him laugh and throw his head back finding how shy you were adorable before pouting as you hide your face in your hands.
“Nooo, Angel don’t hide your pretty face from me!”
“No! Stop it you’re making me all flustered you meanie!”
—
“There she is! Good morning Doll! For a minute there I thought Jimin had kept you all to himself! Here come eat breakfast, I made some chocolate chip pancakes for you!” Seokjin says excitedly as he plates you some up as you sit at the table and look around frowning when you only notice Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung at the table. After your bath Jimin had brushed your hair for you and dried it before plaiting it for you and leaving you to dress and come down when you were ready.
“Oh you must be wondering where the others are, they had to go to work, they’ll be back later tonight, so it’s just us today.” Jungkook smiles looking at his plate and bursting out laughing and before you know it so were Jimin and Taehyung. You look down confused at what they were laughing at, your head tilting to the side. What was this meant to be?
“Yeah, so that means you and I are stuck with these brats. Yah! What are you laughing at!” Seokjin exclaims as he sits down glaring at the boys who were almost falling off their chairs from laughing so much.
“What are these meant to be?! They look so horrified!” Jungkook cackles as Jin huffs and crosses his arms and pouts at the three youngests for teasing his attempt of pancake art. You let out a little giggle, covering your mouth as Jin looks at you with an even bigger pout.
“They’re meant to be leopards. The chocolate chips were meant to be like a leopard print but they melted too quickly…” He murmurs making them laugh even louder but you stare at them, your heart swelling at the small thing he did to cheer you up, the appreciation he shows to your animal counterpart. You felt so lucky to have these seven men in your life. Jimin may be right. Fate brought you guys together.
“Well, Seokjin I think they look great. I really appreciate it.” You say quietly, flushing as he grins at you and instinctively winks at you. It was a habit he had that you picked up on. He then looks back at the boys and glares at them again and points at them.
“Hey! See at least someone appreciates my efforts you brats! And buttercup please call me Jin, no need for formalities here. Now brats eat your food before I take them back and make you all eat cereal!” He threatens before beginning to eat his own pancakes. You smile watching them try to defend themselves and begin to eat your own, only managing to eat one and a half before feeling full. Breaking your old eating habits was a challenge but slowly and surely you were improving.
“Now that breakfast is finished, we were wondering if you would like some fresh air buttercup? You could use it and we definitely need to get you your own clothes, I’m sure you’d like to have your own right?” Seokjin asks and your eyes widen, feeling your heart race a little at the thought of going outside. You knew you had to eventually but it had not crossed your mind once. You were terrified. You had never really seen the outside world, always trapped in your cage in your masters or mistresses home and you were terrified that you’d see one of them. You remembered them all so clearly. It was hard not to when they had caused you so much suffering.
“W-What if I-I see my m-master? O-Or any of my old masters o-or mmistressesI-I’ve never r-really been outside…” You panic and Jin and Jungkook who sat beside you both grab your hands and rubbed reassuring circles on the skin to calm you down.
“Baby, you will not see any of them and even if you do, we will not them anywhere near you and we will come straight back home. They are not your masters and mistresses. You are safe now and we will protect you hm? The world is a big scary place I know, especially when you’ve never seen it but when you put that aside it has a beautiful side to it and we want you to see that sweet girl. We want you to finally be able to live not just survive. As soon as you feel like it’s too much we will be home straight away okay?” Jungkook reassures squeezing your hand for encouragement.
“You are safe with us Angel. We will not leave your side. We want to spoil our little leopard, we think it is very well deserved.” Jimin coos from across from you. You look at them all, their faces all serious meaning they meant every word. These men would not let anything happen to you and that was all you needed to hear.
“O-Okay but! N-No spoiling. You don’t need to do that. A few things is enough…”
“No promises on that one Kitten.”
—
“Woah…” You breathe out as you look around the mall they had brought you to, eyes wide in awe and curiosity as you take it all in. You had never seen anything like it. It was so enormous. It was all-natural light, the roof made out of glass, a shop everywhere you looked. You didn’t even know where to begin. You felt so small in this big world already.
“Are you okay so far buttercup? Take your time, I know this must all be a lot to take in.” Jin reassures rubbing your back as he watches your eyes dart all around the youngest three watching in amusement at your shock. It was adorable.
“I-I don’t know where to begin…t-there’s so many s-shops and…and I can’t really read.” You murmur almost ashamed that you couldn’t read. You felt so illiterate and out of place with them. They were all dressed well compared to you who wore Jimin’s clothes that just about fit you and the fact that you knew they were very intelligent men just made you feel ashamed despite knowing it’s not your fault that you couldn’t read. You were never allowed to.
“Hey that’s okay don’t worry baby, we’ll guide you and we’ll get you some books to start to learn how to read how does that sound? Namjoonie hyung will be more than happy to teach you.” Jungkook coos, slipping his hand into yours and begins to guide you into a shop.
“This shop is for clothes, hybrid ones. It just means they’re modified for your pretty tail so it’s not squashed and you can show it freely and proudly okay?” Jimin says and begins to look around excitedly. They all seemed more excited than you, already seeing clothes they wanted you to try on.
“Will you guys help me? I-I don’t know what I like yet…” You ask gingerly, playing with your fingers, looking at them all pleadingly. You had no idea what kind of style you liked or suited. You never got to pick your own clothes and never got to wear anything colourful or pretty. You were just given plain old rags.
“Of course, we’ll help you come on let’s look around and we’ll pick things out and you point at anything you like okay, doll?” Seokjin says tenderly, taking your hand and begins guiding you around the shop, the other three looking around to find you something you may like. After a while of picking things you like and the boys picking out clothes and even shoes for you, they ushered you into a changing room to try on the things you had finally chosen to try and hopefully buy. A few dresses, tops and pants had been a no from you when you tried them on, not liking how they looked on you despite the boys telling you how pretty you looked in them but understood. If it didn’t feel like you then they couldn’t make you get them. They wanted you to be confident in what you wore not get them just because they liked them. You had finally chosen what you wanted to get and what you didn’t and went to pay before hesitantly looking at them after paying and murmuring,
“A-Am I okay to go change into something you guys got me?”
“Of course, you can, sweet girl, if that makes you feel more comfortable, here take the bag so you can choose what you’d like to wear, come on we’ll wait right outside the changing room for you.” Jungkook coos before handing you the bag full of clothes and guiding you back to the changing rooms. Once you were in you quickly route through the bag and find the blue collared shirt Jungkook had picked out for you and the white plaited skirt you had picked and quickly change into them, smiling at yourself in the mirror and grabbing the white silk bandana headband Jimin had got you and put on your head, unplaiting your hair leaving it down and wavy and finally changing into the white sneakers and then stuffing the worn clothes into the bag before taking a deep breath and taking one final glance in the mirror, happy with the way you looked. For the first time in a long time, you felt pretty. You exit the changing room and the boys stare in awe at you. They had already thought you were pretty but seeing you in your own style and even having some confidence made them think you were even prettier and they didn’t even think it was possible.
“You look so pretty, Angel! It definitely suits you!” Jimin giggles and the boys chorus in agreement with him making your cheeks flush and look down shyly, whispering a thank you to them.
“Here let me take that bag for you, Kitten, let’s go look in more shops! We can’t not spoil you now!” Taehyung says excitedly and begins to enthusiastically pull you out of the shop, ignoring your protests and whines, the others laughing as they follow. For the next hour or two you all entered so many shops, the boys no longer holding back on buying you things. If this is how life was going to be with them, then you didn’t want it any other way. They made you happy. Made you forget all about the terrible past you had.
“Okay we have one more shop to go to and then we’ll make our way home and I think tonight we should takeout. You have to try pizza buttercup.” Seokjin proclaims as you tilt your head in confusion.
“What’s pizza?” You ask slightly confused and they gasp dramatically, holding a hand to their chests in fake hurt making you giggle as you walk into the next shop not realising where you were heading into.
“Only one of the best foods to ever exist! You’re gonna love it!” Jungkook exclaims before holding your hand and pouting seeing the frown on your face seeing the shop you were in. A hybrid shop. Where you could buy anything you needed for any type of hybrid. But that also meant a collar. You hated collars. You were always made to wear a shock one. One foot out of line and your old owners would electrocute you.
“Hey, we know, we don’t want to get you one either but if you want to come out with us again you have to wear one otherwise any hybrid control that may see you might think you aren’t ours. You do not have to wear this at home. This is just for your safety outside the house okay? We’ll even let you pick your own one.” Jimin reassures making you nod hesitantly and look at all the selections you had. You look at them all before one catches your eye, a soft baby blue collar, it looked silky and to you, it looked more like a necklace, it would definitely make you feel better if you thought of it like that.
“That one. It looks more like a necklace. I don’t want any of the others. T-They look like they hurt. My old one hurt me a lot.” You whisper timidly as you point at the one you like, the boys frowning at your confession. It was the first hint they had gotten to your past and they didn’t need to be a genius to know what collar you had and just the thought of you being made to wear a shock collar fumed them.
“Oh sweet girl, it’s okay, you will never have to wear anything like that again. If this is the one you want then you will get that one okay?” Jungkook says, scratching behind your ear making you purr and nod.
“Is there anything in here that you see that you may need?” Seokjin asks softly, watching as you look around and pause when you notice a familiar bottle your previous owners constantly held in front of you and had you take. You may not be able to read but you knew what it was. You had totally forgotten about them and you were unsure if you needed them but you decided to pick them up to show them to see if they needed you to get it, their eyes widen immediately and quickly shake their heads, Taehyung gently putting it back down and holding your hands in his as they circle you, frowning their hearts sinking at the thought of you being made to take these tablets. You were confused at their horror. Were you not supposed to take them?
“Doll, no, you can’t have those, they can cause serious harm to your body. They can send it all out of balance, you will not be taking these okay? Not in our household.” Jin says sternly but as softly as he could. He was raging. How long had you been on them?
“But…all my other owners made me take them s-so I thought I needed them. A-Are heat suppressants bad?” You ask worriedly and they look at you in shock. You thought it was normal but it wasn’t.
“Yes, Angel, they are. They have too many bad chemicals and side effects. They shouldn’t even be allowed to be bought. You have to come off these okay? It’s unnatural for you.” Jimin says rubbing your back, your cheeks flushing, you didn’t want to have a heat in front of them, you had been conditioned to believe they were embarrassing and disgusting.
“B-But i-it’s embarrassing. I-I don’t want you to see me in heat. T-They’re gross…” You whisper and Taehyung shakes his head at you with a frown on his face, his deep voice now dropping lower making you shudder as he speaks,
“Kitten. Heats are anything but embarrassing and gross. They are natural. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. We will never judge you for something that is completely natural for you and out of your control. It’s part of your animal counterpart you should embrace it. You’re in a safe environment to have them okay?”
You nod slowly and whisper an apology, feeling close to tears, you had made them angry. You could smell the anger coming off them and it intimidated you. You couldn’t bare seeing them angry, especially because you thought they were mad at you. But you couldn’t be anymore wrong. They were mad at how badly the hybrid protection system had failed you. Something they had dedicated their lives to, something they were trying to improve. They were mad at themselves for letting your torture and suffering go on for so long, completely under the radar. They were mad at the people who had caused you so much trauma and pain. They were never gonna allow it to happen again.
“Why are you apologizing Buttercup? You don’t need to apologize for anything, it’s not your fault. It’s those horrible people’s fault. We are not mad at you, we’re mad at them. I have to ask this Y/N but…when was your last heat?” Jin asks worriedly, his doctor instincts kicking in.
“I-I don’t know…I was made to have the pills everyday, there was one time where I wasn’t given them for a week cause I had been left alone all week so no one gave me any so I ended up having one but that might of been about…three maybe four years ago…” You admit and Jin’ heart sinks. That was too long. He had to check your health properly. To make sure that you were really okay.
“Okay doll, I might have to do a health check on you tomorrow, just to make sure you’re alright but for now, let’s buy this collar and go home okay?” Jin says taking your hand as you nod hesitantly and begin to walk to the cashier. You were so relieved to have people who really care about your wellbeing and just you as a person. They didn’t view as a pet,or an animal. They saw you as a human. A person with feelings and a life.
—
You had gotten home a few hours ago and had ordered pizza for dinner and to say the least, Jungkook was right. It was one of the best things you had ever eaten. You all were now sat in the living room watching a film, waiting for the three men who had to work to come home. Your ears twitch when you hear the car pull up in the driveway and you then hear the three mens voices getting closer to the house, your tail beginning to sway side to side, happy to be able to see them again.
“We’re home!” Namjoon calls out, walking into the living room, Hoseok and Yoongi behind him, all three of them smiling when they see us all curled up on the sofas, the five of us peering up to them with a smile back.
“Hi loves, did you have a good day at work?” Seokjin smiles watching as they sit down and sigh in relief to finally be home, a purr leaving your lips as Hoseok rubs the tip of your ear making a shiver run down your spine.
“It was alright, rushed off our feet today. I see that little cub has gotten a pretty new outfit, wanna show us properly? Give us a twirl.” Yoongi grins watching as you blush and stand up before spinning around timidly, Yoongi and Namjoon chuckling at how shy you were and Hoseok cooing, a bright smile on his face despite being so tired.
“Doesn’t she look so pretty hyungs? Kitten was having a bad day today so we had a self care day today and took her out for the first time to spoil her. We’re so proud of her for being able to go out and see the city.” Taehyung praises as you sit down again and try and cover your face in embarrassment.
“She’s the prettiest girl I know. I’m sorry to hear you were having a bad day princess, I hope you feel much better now, I’m proud of you for going outside I know that must have been a big step for you but just know next time, it’s our turn to treat you okay?” Namjoon smiles as you whine and shake your head. You already felt like you had so much, you couldn’t possibly need anymore.
“The more you deny us to treat you,sweetpea, the more we’re gonna get you. You deserve all the best things in life.” Hoseok teases making you huff knowing you weren’t going to win the fight. They enjoyed watching your personality slowly come to light. They knew when you were finally past this hard time, you’d be the brightest and sassiest person.
“Hey doll, why don’t you go shower and get some of your new pyjamas on and then we’ll all watch another movie before bed?” Seokjin suggests, kissing your head as you agree before making your way upstairs. They wait silently until they hear the shower running, looking at each other before all at once, they say,
“We need to talk.”
------
So sorry for the wait! My internet decided to turn off so I had to wait for it to come back on! But here is part 3! Sorry if it's boring and if there is anything I missed whilst editing please do let me know! Anyway hope you enjoyed and I hope to have part 4 up as soon as I am able to!
TAGLIST (CLOSED)
@sunoosult @pb-n-juju @kimsaerom @tinyoonsblog @mintyoonjisworld @malewife-supremacy @army4eve3r @mageprincess7 @dreamamubarak @ot7nem @haleypearce @yoongiigolden @kinkyduuh @victoryscreech61 @driftapart @carolinexkpop @koobratzy @devilsadvcte @colourlyhobbit @toughbook @ah2002 @beeeee06 @euphoriayongbok @bbgniecyy @linospot @jaiuneamesolitaiire @whotfisclaire @rich-man-v @bangtanxberm @pathetic-brat @murkydoesnotloveyou @cheychey-4788 @kookiesandmilksblog @atinygracie @echo-ethe @yo-alli @blancflms @scarlet1722 @jamlessstars @theblueslytherin @rosquilleta @slash4slashers @chieftoadturkeynickel @m4r1eluvr @cath-fach @rainbow-bunny-bts @thedarkwinterrose @anjoellamorte
#bts#hoseok#namjoon#seokjin#yoongi#jimin#jungkook#bts polyamory#bts poly#taehyung#bts hybrid au#little leopard#bts strangers to lovers au#hybrid bts#ot7xhybrid reader#ot7 bts x reader
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unrequited love | pt 3
notes: after much waited anticipation, the 3rd part is finally here 🤠 enjoy lovelies <3 pt 1 & 2 if you haven’t read them :)
warnings: 18+, smut, stepmom!wanda, stepdaughter!reader, age gap, mommy kink, mentions of masturbation, reader having major mommy issues, slight fluff/angst, cunnulingus, strap on use, fingering, hair pulling, dirty talk, degradation, blow jobs. minors DNI!
words: 6.6k
to say the past few days had been intense was an understatement.
ever since your dad came home earlier than expected, you and wanda had become slightly estranged. the distance made your heart clench with worry and neglect, but, if you were being dramatically honest with yourself, you knew deep down the reason was that it had probably thrown wanda a little bit (or maybe a lot) to see him, given the circumstances you two were in.
albeit, scarcely hurt, you tried not to take it to heart too much. instead, you hurled yourself into uni work as a distraction. anything to take your mind off of the fact that you and wanda were mere seconds away from teetering over the edge and crossing a boundary that you could never undo.
"darling! what're you doing home so early?" wanda called out, still frozen in place on the staircase. her body reluctant to turn around and descend back down to greet her husband.
she watched as you silently stepped out of the doorway and into the hallway, and as much as it hurt to see the look of disappointment and panic written all over your face, she was just relieved that you hadn't actually done anything. the redhead could never live with herself if you had both been caught in her husbands and hers shared bed.
"i'm so sorry, detka" the sokovian whispered, her hand reaching out just a few inches before deciding she should just leave it and go welcome her husband as a good wife should. "we'll talk later, just- let me handle this"
you in fact did not talk later. ever since your father returned, wanda hadn't had a minute to herself, let alone any time to speak about what you both did, or almost did. she now had to return to her role of the attentive wife and cater to his needs, not her own.
but, to say you were an impatient person, in your opinion; you were dealing with the situation pretty well. after practically flinging yourself into uni work and even asking your professor if they had anything extra you could work on, you decided it would probably be best if you went for a walk to clear your head.
so that is exactly what you did, you showered, got dressed and headed downstairs. you didn't bother telling anyone where you were going, instead just opting to leave out of the front door and tell your father and wanda where you had been when you would inevitably see them at dinner time.
after around twenty minutes of mindless strolling around the block and eventually settling on a park bench, you felt a buzz in your back pocket.
guilt fluttered in your chest at the thought of it being kate, knowing full well you had hardly spoken to her the past couple of days and that she was probably messaging you, understandably worried at the space between you two.
when you pulled your phone out of your jean pocket, your heart did backflips as you looked at the screen.
wanda: hey, where did you go? are you okay?
you chewed on your bottom lip upon reading the message. how on earth could you respond to that? of course you aren't okay, you were upset and riddled with shame and treachery. you had done the one thing you had forced yourself to never act on. months of battling with a part of your brain that told you to just go for it, even if it would change the trajectory of your life. all for it to change in the blink of an eye.
you: hey, i'm just on a walk. i'm fine, how are you?
you shouldn't lie, you should just be honest, but the nagging feeling of not doing that over text lingered greatly in your mind.
you: actually, i'm not. can we talk? i miss you.
wanda: i'm sorry this is happening. i miss you too, come home, malysh. let's talk.
butterflies fluttered deep in your chest, eventually making their way to your stomach and settling there. i miss you too.
you instantly rushed a reply that you would be back soon before shoving your phone into the pocket it resided in and walking out of the park, and back to your house. every single feeling you could possibly feel hit you as you walked. questions running through your mind like an emotional marathon about how the conversation would go between you two.
ᗢ
"wanda?" you called out, closing your front door behind you as you stepped into the house. as you kicked your shoes off, a tired and almost dishevelled redhead walked through the kitchen door, letting it swing behind her before coming to a halt.
wanda stepped closer to you, a small smile on her lips seemingly growing as you came closer into her view before eventually, she closed the gap and your bodies were pressed together; perfectly might you add.
before you could ask what she was doing, wanda's hand snaked around the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. you could feel the want and desperation radiate into it as you kissed her back, your hands falling to her hips and tugging her impossibly closer to you.
when you both pulled away to breathe, wanda's hand trailed from your neck, cupping one of your now-flushed cheeks. "you have no idea how badly i've wanted to do that these past few days"
your mind reeled at that, knowing that she wanted you just as much as you did. "me too," you breathed out, your chest rising and falling as you spoke. "i couldn't even touch myself at night because all i wanted were your hands on me"
"fuck, i-" the sokovian choked out, the grip on your cheek hardening slightly at the thought. "you can't say things like that"
"it’s true," you feigned a pout, your hands on her hips moving down to cup her ass through her jeans. "you left me dripping wet the other day and even then i couldn't do anything about it"
wanda trapped her bottom lip between her teeth to suppress a moan at your words. "you're a fucking tease, you know that?" your attempt to bite back a grin failed and wanda's eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "and you're also lucky i’m not going to slap that smirk off of your face right now, now come on, i made you a snack and then you and i are going to talk as promised"
you nodded, whispering a thank you as you pushed the gnawing ache for wanda into the back of your mind. you followed her through the swinging door and into the kitchen, your steps behind her small as you followed her like a puppy.
"how have you been?" you asked meekly, pulling one of the dining table chairs back to sit on it. "did you sleep well last night?"
wanda hummed in thought for a moment, her attention focused on the countertop on which two plates rested. you smiled as she turned around, your sight landing on the food that was perfectly prepared and smelled utterly sensational. it truly amazed you how good of a cook she was.
"i've been okay, albeit slightly whiplashed to see your father coming home that night" wanda confessed, before setting down the plates in front of you and then in front of where wanda would be sitting. "do you want juice?"
"um, sure! thank you" you reach a tender hand out, running your fingers down the arm of her sweater. "i wish that didn't happen, but i guess the silver lining is he didn't catch us on the sofa"
the redhead's eyes trail down to where your hand resided on her arm, wanting so desperately for the material to be out of the way and to feel your hands on her skin once more. "i guess you're right, that would be a hard one to explain"
a chuckle escapes your lips, watching as wanda moves away from your touch and over to the refrigerator to pull out the jug of juice before stepping over to one of the cupboards to pull out two glasses.
"do you regret it?"
the question had been lingering on the tip of your tongue ever since you woke up the morning after. you wouldn't admit it but it ate away at you bit by bit the more the days passed, all you wanted to know now was where you stood with the older woman.
wanda remained facing away from you, her hand shifting to rest on the countertop in front of her. you listen as a shaky exhale leaves her plump lips, the sound making anticipation bob in the middle of your throat. she didn't regret it, right?
"i don't, malysh," she spoke aloud, thick red locks and her back were still all you could see. "i never will"
"then why can't you say that while you look at me?"
wanda picks up the glasses from the counter before slowly turning to face you. your heart skipped a beat as you watch her nervously chew at her bottom lip. you don't think you've ever seen this woman nervous, always keeping her emotions at bay and never wearing her heart on her sleeve.
"we're both with someone, y/n. god, i'm married and you're-"
"in an unhappy relationship, which is clearly how you feel or you wouldn't have reciprocated"
wanda sighs, stepping towards the table before positioning the glasses in front of your selected seats.
"i know, i know. it's just- it's a lot more complicated for me, i made a vow and i just hate myself for breaking it. i never would have dreamed to cheat on my spouse, let alone it being with their daughter"
your head falls and all you can do at this moment is let indignity and guilt plague your mind like a disease. you stare at your food numbingly, watching as it slowly grows cold. but, you can't eat right now. you can't. the only thought running through your head is of the woman standing in front of you.
"if i could change the way i feel i would, it would make life so much simpler but i can't wanda, i want you" you push the chair away with the back of your legs before striding over to where wanda stood, your hands instantly moving to cup her slightly tinted pink cheeks. "no one's ever made me feel the way you do, and i owe it to myself to at least try and see where this could go between us"
the redhead sighs against your touch, nuzzling herself into one of your hands, basking in the warmth they bring. "detka.."
"don't say anything, just.. let me take care of you"
wanda's head moves in your hands as she nods, and that's all the permission you need to close the distance between you. the moment your lips touch one more, a small groan of appreciation rumbles in the back of your throat, the days that had passed without her soft lips against yours were agonising but god was the wait worth it.
you pull away slightly, your lips ghostly over hers. "where's dad?"
wanda catches your gaze when her eyelids flicker open and she bites back a whimper at seeing your now blown-out pupils. a clear-cut sign of how badly you want her. "he went fishing with one of his work colleagues, he won't be home for a while"
a smirk twitches at your lips, curling just vaguely at the corners. you hum in thought before responding. "i've been very good lately, i was so patient waiting for you mommy, i think i deserve dessert first, don't you?"
"fuck, please" wanda whimpered out, nodding eagerly; her hips bucking at the way the title rolled off of your tongue, so delicious and sweet coming from your lips. she wanted- no needed to hear you say it again. "you have no idea the number of times i've dreamt of sitting on your face, squeezing you between my thighs and all you can do is just lie there and eat my pussy like a good girl"
a guttural moan escaped your throat, your hands faltering from her face before deciding to rest them on her hips, gripping slightly.
wanda took this opportunity to lean forward and let her warm tongue run against the delicate skin of your neck, before leaving an open mouthed kiss against your pulse point. the feeling of that combined with the filthy words wanda spewed out, sent a jolt of pleasure to your clit.
"come with me darling," wanda beckoned, stepping backwards as she tugs at your arm to pull you through the kitchen door, past the back of the sofa and up the staircase. "i've waited too long for this moment"
the pace in her footsteps confirmed it as they moved with certainty and purpose, her hand instantly turned the doorknob when you reached her room, and she yanked you inside before kicking the door shut with the back of her heel.
"go sit down on the bed, detka," wanda purrs, "mommy's going to give you what you deserve"
you hear a click of a lock turning behind you as you faced the large bed, your legs working on autopilot as you reached the edge of the mattress, sitting down instantly. your clothed thighs rubbed together on their own accord, trying so desperately to satiate the evergrowing feeling of uncomfortableness that twitched and pulsed between your thighs.
wanda hummed in approval as she sauntered over to the bed, seeing you sit so obediently for her increased the fire that sparked in the pit of her stomach. "so pliable for me, darling. now, do you want to watch me undress or do it yourself?"
you shook your head immediately, your hands already moving to reach out for her. "please, can- can i? i've thought about doing this myself so many times"
a wide grin creeps it's way onto wanda's face, twitching at the corner of her lips at your reaction. "go ahead then, sweet girl"
you didn't have to be told twice as you surged upwards and off the edge of the mattress, your eyes flickering up to the redheads before letting your hands rest on her hips; your fingers fidgetted with the hem of her sweater as anticipation swirled in your mind.
you lifted the material upwards, letting wanda raise her arms to help assist you in pulling it over her head. once you did, your felt your mouth dry up at the sight of wanda in a red lacey bra, her full breasts sitting perfectly on display. fuck, you wanted nothing more than to rid her of it and claim your mouth around one of her nipples.
"can i?" you asked, your voice small as your eyes stayed trained on her chest.
all wanda could do was nod in response, her mind too occupied with the sight of your eyes darkening as you watched her intently.
you stepped closer, your arms reaching around to find the clasp of the bra. your head dropped slightly, just enough for you to pepper wet kisses along the curve of her breasts. you let your mouth work on the exposed skin, your tongue swirling and sucking at it until you were satisfied. once you were, you pulled at the clasp, unhooking it instantaneously.
"you're so beautiful" you mused, your words coming out almost a whisper when you let the bra fall down wanda's arms and drop to the floor. "so, so beautiful"
you thought the urge to continue pressing your lips against her soft skin, instead opting to do as you were told. undress her.
you felt the soft carpeted floor under your kneecaps as you bent down to kneel before her. your eyes now aligned with curved hips and thick thighs that you wanted so badly to touch.
a thought echoed briefly in your mind that every single dream you've had of pleasing wanda was finally about to come true.
letting the fleeting realisation pass by in your mind, you focused your attention on working the button of wanda's jeans, your hand trailing down to pull at the zipper. an audible groan escaped your lips at the patch of matching panties that peeked through the opening of the jeans.
you had no idea what wanda was doing right now but if you had to guess, a smirk was displayed proudly on her lips at your reaction.
your hands smoothed up the side of her hips before hooking your fingers through the hoops of the jeans, pulling them down until they pooled at the redhead's feet.
wanda watched as your hand wrapped around the back of her calf, lifting it just an inch until her foot raised from the floor and you could easily pull her foot through the bunched-up jeans. you repeated this with the other foot until wanda stood before you with nothing but her underwear.
you couldn't help but move forward at the sight, your mouth displaying open-mouthed kisses on the soft smooth skin of her thighs.
"ah, ah, ah," wanda tutted, one of her hands threading through your hair at the back of your head until she gathered enough in her fingers to give it a harsh tug. "god, so eager to please mommy, you're adorable"
your head bobbed up and down, vigorously agreeing with her. "yes, i- please, i want to make you feel good"
"i know, detka and you will," wanda husked, her voice now much deeper and laced with lust at the sight of you on your knees for her, head lolled back in her grip as you pleaded up at her with blown-out eyes. "get back on the bed and lie down"
you scrambled from your knees when wanda let go of her grip, pushing yourself up from your position on the floor. you didn't even look as you jumped back enthusiastically, once again landing on the edge of the mattress before shuffling backwards until you were on display for the older woman in the middle of the bed. you let yourself fall, your eyes now staring up at the blank ceiling as the soft comforter rested under your back.
"good girl," wanda uttered, stepping towards you until you felt a dip in the mattress. "i can't wait to use that pretty mouth of yours"
wanded shifted into view, her lustful eyes staring down at you as she straddled your lap, the action made you squirm under her gaze but the older woman didn't stay there long, her intentions residing much higher up your body.
she moved once more until her figure rested above your head, your eyes being greeted with lacy red panties and a wet patch that made you gulp hard and your mouth to instantly water at the sight of her arousal.
the scent consumed all of your senses as the strong desire for you was prominent between wanda's legs. you inhaled through your nose, wanting so badly to greedily take in everything wanda had to offer you.
a sinister chuckle came from above, the delicious sound invading your ears. "did you just smell mommy's pussy? such a dirty girl"
a whine rumbled at the back of your throat, effectively answering for you. but, before you could shamefully deny such a thing, wanda's slender fingers pulled her panties to the side; giving you the perfect view of her wet and ready for you. "stick out your tongue, little one"
without so much as a thought, you immediately obeyed, and soon after a moan followed as you felt wanda lower herself fully until she rested on the flat of your tongue. the taste of her intensified the fire growing in your belly and you made quick work to lap desperately through her folds.
"i knew you'd be great at this, detka," wanda mewled, her hips jutting back and forth in an attempt to match your pace. "such a good slut"
heavy pants and breathy moans echoed throughout the room, bouncing off each wall before eventually coming back to you and imprinting themselves deep in your brain as they reverberated loudly in your ears. you continued to swirl your tongue through her folds, inching itself closer to where you so hopelessly wanted to put your fingers. you teased her hole slightly before retreating upwards, flicking your muscle over her swollen clit before engulfing it between your lips to gently suck at the bundle of nerves.
"svyatoy yebat', just like that" you felt the older woman's legs vibrate around your head, her hands flying to your hair to grip it tightly and force your head to stay where it was. "shit, you're going to make me cum already"
oxygen was beginning to creep its way less and less into your brain, the need to breathe was resonating loudly in your mind but, you didn't care. the only thing you wanted to do right now was to watch wanda fall apart above you and to hear her moan your name.
you continued to suck, your tongue moving to swirl around to give her just that extra bit of stimulation that would effectively push her over the edge.
"such a good girl for me- fuck, mommy's cumming, mommy's cumming" her words left her mouth in a breathy chant, her hands tightening in your hair as she gasped loudly and before you knew it, wanda stilled above you and her thighs squeezed around your head, trapping you beneath her.
a strangled cry escaped wanda. "shit, shit- don't stop, yn, don't stop"
you continued your torturous pace on her clit, your efforts never faltering as the older woman whined and whimpered through her orgasm. your eyes stayed trained on her, your gaze never breaking contact so you could watch every single reaction and noise that came from above.
after a few moments passed, wanda's body ceased from her tense position; her body slowly starting to relax as she came down from her high and her pants grew more even.
pride beamed brightly in your chest as you slowed your movements before eventually halting them so as to not overstimulate her. the thought of you pleasing your stepmother this much brought you so much joy and satisfaction. you would do it every day if you could, for as long as she wanted, even if your tongue ached and your body grew tired.
"oh malysh, that was... i don't think i've ever cum so hard" wanda exhaled, her hands in your hair loosening its grip as she shifted to move from your face. a soft laugh fell from wanda's lips as she looked at your appearance, your hair was dishevelled and wanda's cum had left your lips, chin and cheeks sopping wet. "god, i've made a mess of you"
you instinctively licked away what you could, smiling at the taste that resonated on your tongue. it took everything in you to not cockily remark on what wanda had just said, instead, you pushed the thought in the back of your mind, keeping it there as a reminder of how good you are for her. "you taste so good"
"i bet you taste even better, detka" wanda mused, her thumb coming to your cheek to wipe away any excess that you had failed to lick away, before switching to the other one. they felt hot under her touch, your cheeks flushed pink and radiating warmth that made the older woman's heart jump. "i can imagine you're all sticky down there, want me to make you feel better?"
you nodded your head enthusiastically, whimpering out a 'yes' before moving to rest your upper body weight on your elbows. "want you so bad"
wanda just hummed in response, the bed dipping once more before the mattress raised again and she was no longer next to you. you watched tentatively as she moved over to the mirrored closet in front of you, pulling on one of the sliding doors before kneeling down to root inside. she instructed you to strip down to your naked form and stay on the bed, you obliged as you made quick work of it and instantly rid yourself of all that you wore before hastily chucking them into a pile across the room.
you were about to question what she was doing until wanda spoke. "hmm, here it is. i must be honest with you detka, my intentions to have you have been stronger than you think. when we were at the mall, i slipped away while you were at the bathroom and bought this"
she stood from her position, turning to face you with a grin splayed on plump, pink lips. "i was hoping one day i could use it on you.. i'm glad it's sooner rather than later"
your curious eyes drifted down and you couldn't help but gulp at what you saw.
in one hand was a scarlet red dildo that was generous in size, and in the other was a black harness.
"would you like to try it?"
you eyed the toy and the harness before meeting wanda's predatory gaze. there was fleeting silence for a split second as you settled yourself on your tucked legs, resting your weight on them to sit up straight. "yes please, i want you to do whatever you want to me"
"your manners are endearing, y/n. any specific position in mind?"
"i-" you trailed off, god what didn't you have in mind? you would gladly have her put you in whatever position suited the redhead best, whatever would appease her hunger for you. but, as your eyes faltered slightly to your reflection in the mirrored doors in front of you, your brain screamed to tell her what you had in mind. "i want.. i want you to take me from behind and for you to make me watch"
confusion spread across the redhead's face for just a moment, until it clicked in her brain and she turned to her right, your reflection and hers staring back at her. "my my, you dirty girl. i love how your brain works"
wanda stalked towards the bed, before coming to a halt as she reached the edge of the mattress. you watched in awe as she slipped into the harness, adjusting the straps so they were secured snugly against her hips and thighs before attaching the dildo to the rubber ring in the middle of the harness.
"are you going to get mommy's cock all nice and ready for your pretty pussy, baby?"
you nod eagerly, shifting forward on your knees until you reached the end of the bed and wanda and her toy were directly in front of you. your mouth salivated at the sight before you; your stepmother with a thick cock strapped to her waist towering over you. to think less than an hour before, you were taking a stroll outside to help clear your mind of wanda and now here you were, about to take her in your mouth until she deemed it good enough for her to fill you up.
"are you ready, sweetheart?" wanda purred, a delicate hand threading through your locks before scratching softly at the skin, her enchanting way of soothing you. "don't be afraid to get sloppy, i want to see you drooling for me, dear"
fucking hell.
"yes, yes i- i'm so ready, please mama"
the older woman felt her heartstrings tug at the new nickname. such a good girl, she didn't even have to coax it out of you. so obedient and perfect, just like she knew you would be.
"open your mouth and stick out that talented tongue of yours, moya lyubov”
you did as instructed instantly as your jaw slackened and your tongue fell loosely to hang over your bottom lip. this caused wanda to chuckle darkly at the way you obeyed so quickly; so eager to please.
she wasted no time as she guided your head forward with the palm of her hand that rested in your hair, her grip tightening just slightly to control your movements.
a twang of pleasure contorted in your stomach as wanda coached you closer until the tip of the dildo rested on the flat of your tongue. you groaned around the head of it as it pushed further into the warmth of your mouth and a couple of inches of it disappeared inside.
"well done baby, taking me so well, just like i knew you would" wanda's voice was raspy and low as she spoke, her gaze never stuttering from the view of you below her. she watched in awe as you greedily took everything she gave you and it took everything in her not to snap her hips forward until she eventually reached the back of your throat.
a muffled moan vibrated around the fake cock as wanda's praises hit your ears, her words stirring you on to take more of her even if your mouth constricted it.
"take deep breaths, my love, you're doing amazing." her words of encouragement filled the silence of the room as more of her filled your mouth. "nice and slow"
you gagged slightly as you felt the tip of her eventually reach the back of your throat and your lips came into contact with the soft skin of her stomach, but you did as wanda said, taking in deep breaths through your nose as she stood still, letting you get used to the intrusive feeling.
finally, after a few moments passed, your throat relaxed around her. wanda hummed in approval at how well you were doing, her fingers continuing their delicate scratches against your scalp.
"atta girl, now start sucking detka, i'll do the rest"
you suctioned your lips around the dildo upon request, and your tongue that rested under it swirled around experimentally even though you knew wanda couldn't feel it. but, nevertheless, that wouldn't stop you from putting in the effort.
wanda's hand ceased its peaceful movements against your head, quickly turning harsh in her hold as she began to move your head up and down, guiding it to meet the pace of her hips when she started to thrust gradually into your mouth.
you mewled around her, your mouth filling with saliva that soon crept its way into the corner of your lips, begging for a way out.
"god, malysh.. you look so pretty like this, taking me so well. it's like you were born to be mommy's cock slut"
a wanton groan rumbled deep from your chest, humiliation mixed with pleasure settled there as your eyes flicked upwards, instantly being greeted with wanda staring down at you; admiration strongly apparent in her gaze.
after a few more wet thrusts, wanda slowly pulled out of your mouth leaving you gasping for much-needed oxygen, your chest rising as your laboured breathing calmed with every intake. she was clearly impressed and evidently happy with your work, the dildo that was attached to her was dripping with your saliva, the coating slick and soaking wet that shined from the aluminated lamp on the bedside table next to you.
wanda didn't utter a word as she rounded the bed, a delicate hand smoothing down your back and over the curve of your ass. when she reached the other side, you felt the bed dip. your head shot up to see wanda behind you, a smirk on her lips as she watched you catch your breath.
slender fingers trailed from your ass and down to where you so desperately needed her the most. she moved the tips over to the inside of your soft thighs before eventually teasing your outer lips which were now puffy and wet. "oh my, y/n, you're absolutely soaked. is all of this for me?"
as quickly as you got your breath back, it was just as quickly taken away from you when wanda traced her fingers through your folds, parting them with two fingers before moving them up and down. you choked out a moan when they retreated away from your swollen clit and down to your hole, pushing them in inch by inch.
"all for you, fuck- that feels so good"
wanda hummed pulling out slightly to push a third digit in, "look at you sucking in my fingers like a good girl, is this how badly you've wanted me, detka?
you cry out a strangled 'yes' at the stretch until eventually, wanda's knuckles pressed flush against your lips, your eyes falling shut at the feeling. "all i think about is you using me like a toy, just for your own pleasure"
the redhead's fingers moved at a languished pace, letting you grow used to the intrusion even though her fingers slipped inside you with ease. "eyes on me, sweetheart, i want you to focus on mommy only"
you heeded immediately, your eyelids flickering open the moment the words left wanda's lips.
"i think you're ready for my cock now, don't you?"
your mouth fell open in a gasp as soon as the older woman retreated her fingers. you groaned at the empty feeling, your walls contracting around nothing, just begging to be filled again.
"yes, please, i want it so badly mommy"
wanda wasted no time as the hand that had just been inside of you seconds before moved to wrap around the girth of her strap-on, spreading your wetness onto the length of it and mixing it with your saliva. "don't forget, dorogoy, if you want me to stop, i will"
you nodded desperately in response, your mind relishing the feeling of the way your body buzzed with anticipation. "okay"
that was all the permission wanda needed before using her hand to guide the dildo towards your sopping folds, running it up and down your slit to collect all of the wetness that she could. wanda gingerly pushed her hips forward, your lips parting as she continued her movement.
your eyes clamped shut as you felt the tip of the faux-cock push its way inside, but wanda's words boomed loudly in your mind, so you forced yourself to open them and keep your gaze focused on the reflection of wanda.
your heart stuttered in your chest at the sight.
to see the woman you had been lusting over for the past few months knelt behind you, her cock pushing through your velvety walls with her mouth dropped open in an 'o' shape was mind-whirling, to say the least.
it made you shudder at the thought.
"you're doing so well, baby, just a little more"
all you could do was bob your head in response. it wasn't long before wanda had pushed in the entire length and her stomach pressed flush against the back of your thighs. although your cunt stayed a soaking mess, it burned at the feeling of being so full. you don't think you've ever taken anything so big before, the thought only intensified the sensation even more.
"it's okay, angel, you'll get used to it," wanda cooed, raising both hands to grasp at your hips to keep you steady, "just breath through the pain, it'll start feeling good soon"
just as promised, after a few brief moments passed, your walls fluttered and a spark of pleasure formed in the pit of your stomach.
you instinctively moved your hips forward just slightly before pushing back, your mind reeling as you tested the waters before eventually picking up the pace.
"seems like you're ready," wanda remarked, sarcasm dripping from her words with a smirk creeping at the corner of her lips as she watched as you began to gradually ride the dildo. "now let mommy do all the work, all you have to do is stay there and look pretty while mommy uses your cute little cunt”
you whined at her words, the way she spoke to you made your brain turn to pathetic mush as submission and humiliation settled deep in the crevasses and as good as it felt, you did as instructed and halted your movements.
the moment you did, wanda slowly pulled out before she gave a sharp snap of her hips, burying the dildo deep inside of you. the action caused your arms that propped you up to buckle from under you, and your head to fall to the mattress.
“ah ah, this is your fantasy, my love. get back up” wanda voiced, a hand snaking up the smooth of your back, then to your neck, her fingers wrapping around your jugular before lifting you back up until your back pressed flush against her chest.
the redhead continued her torturous pace, her thighs slapping against the back of yours harshly with every thrust, and all you could do was stare back at yourself and watch. when wanda rounded her other hand around you so both of her hands were wrapped firmly around your neck, that's when you lost it.
"fuck, fuck," a strangled moan fell from your swollen kissed lips, your breath growing more ragged the rougher wanda got with you. "right there"
a smirk itched at wanda's lips as she watched from behind you, her mind and body putting in all the effort as she rutted into you, all the while holding you upright. one of her hands tightened its hold on your neck as she let the other one fall to where your breasts were, she trailed her hand down before grabbing a handful and kneading and squeezing it roughly a few times until her hand moved to pinch the nipple between two fingers.
"i want you to cum just like this malysh, tell me when you're close, okay?" wanda's voice was hoarse, her accent coming out slightly as she panted in your ear.
all you could do was nod your head, your mind too foggy to come up with the words to respond. you moved your hand up to your body until you met wanda's, cupping the back of it in an attempt to feel her.
"look at how pretty you look, y/n. such a good girl for me, i can see how much you're fucking loving this," wanda uttered against the shell of your ear, her tongue flicking out to lick a stripe against your neck before suctioning her lips around your skin to suck harshly, her teeth nibbling slightly against your flushed skin. "i bet you'd love it if my cock was real, so i could fill up your abused little pussy with my cum"
the words that left wanda's mouth, in a dark and husky hiss, echoed loudly in your ear as every thrust of wanda's hips that fucked upwards hit against your g-spot, it was quickly beginning to make that tightness in the pit of your stomach grow.
your moans grew louder, your chest heaving as you gasped for oxygen that was being fucked out of you with every movement that wanda made. you whined out as wanda continued to pinch your nipple, twisting and pulling it as she squeezed harder around your neck.
it was all too much and you could feel your body teetering over the edge.
“wanda fuck, i’m gonna cum. please don’t stop mama, please” the words were raspy as they left your lips, struggling to fully vocalise yourself as wanda’s hold on your neck didn’t let up.
but she heard you anyway. she always would. wanda’s sole purpose right now was focusing on every movement of your body, every pant and breath you took, every moan that you choked out and every whisper of broken words that you spoke.
your eyelids fluttered shut as you felt the all familiar feeling in your stomach tightening, just mere seconds away from the coil snapping.
“don’t close your eyes, detka. watch me as you cum, can you do that?”
you nodded instantly, forcing your body to open them and as soon as you did a long moan ripped itself from your throat as you held eye contact with the woman behind you. your body trembled as the orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, instantly tensing up as the shock waves flowed through you.
wanda watched in amazement as she held your body up, her hips continuing their thrusts but decreasing in pace as she helped you through it. she watched as your mouth hung open, whining and panting as you shook in her hold.
after a few moments passed, the redhead felt your body relax and sink into her touch. to avoid overstimulating you; even though she had thought about it many times, she could tell you were spent, so she slowly came to a halt until her cock just stayed nestled deep inside of you.
wanda’s gaze on you never faltered, her eyes focusing on the way you gasped for breath, your chest heaving up and down as you tried to calm your beating heart. it was ethereal in wanda’s opinion, you looked so beautiful all fucked out. sweat beads slowly ran down your face, a few strands of hair clinging to your head as you lolled your head back against her shoulder in exhaustion.
“are you okay, darling?” wanda spoke against the shell of your ear, her voice shaky and just barely above a whisper. she paused for a moment, letting herself catch her own breath before continuing. “that wasn’t too much was it?”
you shook your head, taking in a long breath before responding. “no no, i- that was just.. it was really intense”
a soft smile creeped onto wanda’s lips at that. “in a good way or bad way?”
“in the best way i-“ you shifted slightly in her hold to snake an arm around the back of her neck, your blunt nails scratching lightly at the skin. “have you ever been with a woman before because that was.. god”
a low chuckle hit your ears, the divine sound causing your walls to clench around the dildo. “i might have.. but, that was all back in my college days”
you hummed in response, ignoring the fleeting moment of question that this could possibly be another experiment to her.
“how about we both shower and we could finally get around to that dragon show you like?”
your eyes widened giddily at that, your hand falling from the back of her neck to rest on the soft skin of her thigh, your thumb rubbing in slow circles. “together or..?”
wanda’s laugh echoed in the room, “yes, together” she moved her hand to rest on the back of yours, letting herself take in the delicate moment of your first time together, something she would remember for as long as she lives. “now come on, the smell of sex is deafening in here”
ᗢ
tag list by request: @fxckmiup @natashaswife4125
#wanda maximoff smut#wanda maximoff x reader#mcu fanfiction#elizabeth olsen#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff/reader#wanda maximoff x you#stepmom wanda
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