#and it's not because they love me more. It's because they are better judges of my capabilities and interests
Note
you asked for fallout request, so here i am, eagerly writing this…
i’ve been craving a cooper howard x reader oneshot where him and the reader are navigating through life in their own way. maybe a run in with tricky people?? angst?? fluff??? it’s up to you best friend. THANK YOU!!!
AN | Alright, let’s goooo. First go around with Cooper and we had to go with some fluff because that is my specialty. I’ve loved Fallout for a long time and I love the show too❤️
Pairing | Cooper Howard (The Ghoul) x fem!reader
Warnings | language; gun violence
Word Count | 3k
Masterlist | Main
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
You weren't sure if you'd call yourselves friends.
More like…an unwitting duo of sorts. Unwitting on your end more than anything.
You'd promised him that you absolutely didn't need company or anyone to assist you. He'd insisted that the only way he'd let you go on your own was over his dead body. You'd contemplated that idea for a few moments. Given his reputation, you decided not to push him too much.
The realization that he was a stubborn old man who wasn't going to change his mind was the only reason he was still next to you. Begrudgingly, mind you.
“How much further, darlin’?” His deep voice cut through your internal monologue and you shot a glare in his direction, “I'm starting to think you're not the best judge of distance.”
“If you're just going to complain,” you pointed over your shoulder back to the last town you'd passed through, “you're more than welcome to go back and terrorize that town. I told you that I didn't need you to come with me.”
“And why would I listen to you, huh?” He rolled his eyes lightly as you scoffed, “you'd be dead before the sun went down, sweetheart.”
“So what?” You turned on your heel, walking backwards so you could face him, “why do you care?! You don't even like me!”
“Contrary to what you believe, I do have somewhat of a conscience,” his voice was gruff but somewhat soft, “and if I let you go and then heard that you were killed, I'd be a little annoyed.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve already saved your life once,” he so sweetly reminded you as you sighed heavily, “and I didn't just save your life so you could go and be killed by someone else.”
“Ain’t that sweet? You’re a modern day prince,” you mocked his twang as his expression refused to shift. It was almost annoying how unfazed he remained the majority of the time, “I had it handled. You happened to come at an inconvenient time.”
“If that's what helps you sleep at night,” he had to fight to hold back a laugh as you turned back around and you marched in front of him, making it a point not to look back at him. He had to be the most infuriating person you'd ever met. He'd had two hundreds years to perfect being annoying and he had done exceedingly well.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The two of you had been traveling together for a number of days. You'd managed not to kill each other, luckily, but otherwise things had remained mostly the same. Silence, and if it wasn’t silence, it'd be harsh words and fast quips.
You didn't hate him - not really. You hated the idea that anyone, let alone a man, believed that you needed help. You'd had things handled and would have kept yourself safe. He'd just happened to come fight when you were in the midst of either killing or getting killed.
He wasn't going to let that go anytime soon. That much you already knew about him.
“It’s cold,” you announced as the two of you made camp for the night. You pulled your jacket tighter around your frame but it was no use, “I’m cold. Can we make a fire?”
“That, princess, is one of the many reasons you need someone out there to keep an eye on you,” if you didn’t know any better, you’d almost have thought that he was being kind - nice.
“Listen,” you sat down and leaned against one of the trees near the clearing you’d decided to call home for the evening, “I know it’s not exactly safe or the best idea, but I’d rather do that than freeze.”
“It ain’t even that cold,” he mused, stripping off his overcoat and tossing it over to you. You made a sound of surprise, but didn’t hesitate to put it on, “life really was different for you, wasn’t it? I’d say it was almost as easy as those vaulties had it.”
“It wasn’t…” you knew he wasn’t wrong. You’d come from a place of privilege, having been born into a family with wealth, new world wealth anyway, and had it pretty easy for a surface dweller. You’d lived in a large, well stocked and safe home with people around to do your bidding. Those were some of the perks of having a father that was some sort of merchant prince, “it wasn’t like that.”
“Yeah?” he rolled out his bedroll, a bitter laugh escaping him, “sounds like you had nothing to do and everything done for you.”
“I mean…” you trailed off, knowing it was futile to lie to him. He’d known your father after all; Cooper Howard was the one sent to fetch you and return you home once your father had found out you’d run away, “it was…good sometimes. There were a lot of bad times too. But I still know how to do things for myself. I could kill you with my bare hands if I wanted to. I’ve done it before.”
“Huh,” he grabbed a vial and downed it one go, his eyes never leaving your face, “guess that makes you a killer. Just. Like. Me.”
“I did what I had to do,” you swallowed thickly, blinking back tears that threatened to well up. Cooper knew that you had run away, but he didn’t know the full extent of what had happened to cause you to run away, “and we’re here.”
“Tell me what happened,” your eyes snapped to him as you tried to weigh his words in order to see if he was being serious or not. He’d never really taken an interest into your personal life, but you wondered if that was because he genuinely didn’t care or if he’d just created some sort of creed for himself that didn’t allow him to get close to anyone, “what made you run away from your sweet little life, darlin’?”
“Cooper,” you wiped your hands on your thighs and shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. You’d never really said his name before and that caught him off guard, “does it really matter?”
“It’s still buggin’ you, clearly,” he mirrored your position and crossed his arms over his chest, “and we ain’t got nothing but time.”
You inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling and looking at the sky. You could feel his attention still focused on you, “my father told me that there was a man I was going to marry. I told him no and he told me that I didn’t have a choice. Said man found me shortly before the wedding was supposed to happen and he…he tried to…”
You paused for a moment, wiping away the tears that had unwittingly rolled down your cheeks. Cooper’s gaze had darkened but he was still watching; the expression on his face looked like he was ready to commit murder.
“He didn’t get a chance to do anything,” you said softly, “I killed him before he could. But he managed to get me a little bit when he was trying to fight me off. That’s why I had a black eye and all the bruises.”
“Darlin’-”
“I didn’t hesitate, Coop,” your expression steeled as you looked him in the eyes, “and I won’t hesitate now. A man will never tell me what to do. And I don’t need anyone thinking I need someone to protect me.”
Cooper had been listening with rapt attention, his mind already thinking of the things he could do to your father. Bringing you back to him definitely wasn’t one of those things. He’d made up his mind about that almost the moment he’d met you. You’d been sporting a black eye and cut lip, dried blood caked on your hands and arms. He was smart enough to put two and two together.
“For what it’s worth,” he looked back at you with the gentlest expression you’d seen on him, “I’m sorry for what you had to go through. Those are not men, those are monsters.”
“And you’re going to bring me right back to him,” it was a question presented as a statement. You weren’t entirely sure what his plan with you was; you’d been scared to ask. But he also wasn’t hadn’t mentioned a word of bringing you back to your father, “aren’t you?”
“I ain’t bringing you back,” he admitted and you couldn’t keep the surprise off your face, “I never was. I’ve been around a long time, little girl. I know what your father is. I figured it was a better option for me to find you than someone else.”
“You’re not?” you hated how small your voice sounded; how you almost sounded scared. In a way you were. Scared of going back to the place that you hated and would surely make sure you suffered, but you were also scared of forging a new path. You didn’t really know where you were going or what you were going to, “really?”
“On one condition,” of course. You waved your hand, motioning for him to go, “you admit that you have no clue where we’re going and we’ve basically been making this hell of a trek for no real reason.”
You tried to look serious for a moment, but you couldn’t help but start to laugh at how well he could already read you. Cooper was so taken aback by the soft, sweet sound that he couldn’t help the smile that tugged up the corners of his mouth. When you managed to catch your breath, you looked at him and cocked your head to the side, “I have no clue where we’re going and we’ve been making this hell of a trek for no real reason.”
“Honesty,” he pulled one of his knees toward his chest and drummed his fingers on it, “it’s refreshing. You’re gonna be alright, kid.”
“There’s a place,” you murmured after a few moments of silence, “that my mom told me about when I was little. She made it sound like this magical place. I guess really, that’s where I want to go.”
“I hate to break it to you,” Cooper said, “but magical places don’t really exist. They never really did.”
“I know,” you admitted softly, “it just seemed like that when I was young. She died a long time ago, but I’d always think about that place, going there someday. She said it was west - just go west and you’ll know when you’re there.”
“Hmm,” he nodded and paused for a moment before getting up and grabbing some nearby sticks and bringing them to the center of the clearing. He started making a fire before you could even question him, “if it draws anything out, I’m sure we can handle it.”
“Thanks Coop,” you watched him work, an odd feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. Once the fire was going, he settled down near you, “Cooper?”
“Hmm?”
“We are going west, right?” your question caused him to chuckle before he reached into his pocket and pulled something small out that he passed over you. It was a small silver compass worn and weathered just like him.
“I’m sorry to tell you, sweetheart, but we’ve been goin’ east for the last couple of days,” he shrugged as you groaned at yourself. At least you didn’t have anywhere to be at any particular time, “had I know we’ve been searching for a magical place, I could have told you we were going the wrong way.”
“I guess I’m not as handy as I thought,” you grumbled to yourself, clutching the compass tightly in your hand, “you know you don’t have to come, right?”
“I know,” he nodded, “you think anyone could force me to do something against my will, you don’t know me at all, sugar. Now stop your yapping and get some rest. We’ll start heading west at sunrise.”
You paused for a moment, pulling his coat tighter around you, “thanks, Coop.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The next couple of days of trekking passed in relative peace. The two of you were now making your way west for whatever magical place your mom had made you dream of you. You weren’t sure why Cooper was still with you, but you weren’t about to complain. He provided some decent company since you’d had your little heart to heart, but he owed you nothing. You weren’t exactly complaining; he was the closest thing to a friend you’d had in a long time.
But, as things would have it in the wasteland, life threw a wrench in your plans. A wrench in the form of two raiders that definitely weren’t looking to get chummy.
“Ugh,” you groaned as the two figures approached from a distance. The two of you were outside of a saloon, trying to decide whether to keep pressing on for the evening or staying put and turning in. Cooper followed your line of sight and made a sign of annoyance, “why do I feel like they’re going to make trouble?”
“Well, darlin’, that’s because they’re about to make trouble,” he touched the brim of his hat and pulled it further down.
“Look who it is,” one of the men sneered at the two of you. He looked about as unfriendly as they came, “the Ghoul of the hour and his little bounty.”
“We heard you were having some trouble delivering her back home,” his partner came up and eyed you without shame. He looked disgusting with greasy hair and rotting teeth, a sinister expression on his face, “so we came to take over.”
“Go fuck yourself,” you spit at him, reaching for the dagger that was at your side. You felt Cooper reach for your hand and gently squeeze it in order to stop you from making any rash moves.
“What this charming sweetheart means is that she is not going back with you,” Cooper smirked at them, “so you can run along now.”
“Fucking Ghoul,” the first man snarled at him, “you couldn’t even do your job. Turn the bitch over and we’ll let you go alive…or whatever the hell you are.”
“You can go back to my father and tell him that he can go fuck himself too,” you hissed, blood boiling with sheer annoyance and anger, “and if you don’t turn around right now-”
“What?” His voice was sticky sweet and filled with vinegar as he smiled at you; both of them had pistols in their hands and that made your stomach churn. They could easily get the jump on you, “you’ll kill me?”
“No,” Cooper pushed you behind him and looked at them with a grin on his face. Of course he’d be enjoying this, “but I will.”
“Why don’t you just-” but the man couldn’t get another word in as the sound of the gunshot rang through the air, causing you to stumble backwards and cover your ears. A second shot rang out within seconds and you saw the other body fall to the ground.
It happened so fast that you couldn’t help the shock that ran through your body, causing you to let you let out a loud sob. You’d seen death before, you’d seen things much worse than before but there was something about the moment that was overwhelming.
Blood spattered the side of the building, causing you to dry heave as you noticed the bits of brain and bone clinging to it. Your ears were still ringing as you tried not to completely lose your grip on reality.
“Hey,” you heard his voice cut through the fog and you felt his hand on your shoulders, helping to keep you steady and upright. You shifted your gaze up and found his eyes concerned, “hey.”
“I-I…” you couldn’t even form a proper sentence as you looked at him, “they…you. You saved me.”
Before he could even respond, you threw your arms around him and held tightly onto him. He was taken aback for a moment before he hugged you back, and you could feel his breath of relief. There was something so good and reassuring about the feel of his arms around you.
“You would have had it handled,” he insisted and you shook your head.
“No,” you looked at him and to your surprise he gently wiped away your tears, “I couldn’t have. I couldn’t have saved myself this time. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me, darlin’,” he took your chin in his hand and kept your gaze on his, “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
“I do,” you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and nodded slightly, “I do need you. Don’t go.”
“The only place I’m going is west,” there was that smile again, the one that rarely graced his features. The same one that made your legs feel like jello, “are you comin’?”
“Yes,” you promised, “I’m coming.”
“Well then, we best get goin’ sweetheart,” he glanced over the carnage that he left behind, “before someone else comes to make trouble.”
He checked himself over to make sure he had everything ready to. You missed the feel of his touch almost immediately.
Once he made sure he had everything, he held his hand out to you.
You took it without hesitation.
#cooper howard#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard x you#the ghoul#the ghoul x reader#the ghoul x you#fallout#fallout fic#fallout prime#walton goggins
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He Chose You (Pt. 12)
Lucifer/Reader: Lucifer chooses you to be the mother of his child. Rated E for Explicit.
(LISTEN… this story has gotten out of control and I need help.)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12
“It’s alright, child.” Sera’s moods swung round like a revolving door. She could change and bend from someone motherly to a raging Force to an uninvolved observer in a millisecond. “You don’t know any better.”
She reach out and placed a hand on your cheek, perfectly warm and loving in her caress while her eyes remained like flint against the loveliest of features. “Everything has come to pass as it should. You’ll understand in time.”
It made you sick. Your skin grew clammy as an acidic substance shot up your esophagus and your whole body pitched backward to escape.
You would’ve taken hours locked away with that asshole Adam before you stood another minute being condescended to by the Seraphim.
You were sulking, and you knew it, but you couldn’t stop.
The building that you had been taken into to meet Sera in the first place served as some sort of Capital. It was grandiose and reached so high up that you couldn’t see where the damn ceiling ended. Perhaps it didn’t.
You had to take great pains to escape it, navigating among high-ranking angels of all kinds filtering from both the ground and air above you in orderly chaos. It quickened your step to notice that a number of them did a double-take at seeing you.
They resembled different things, just as the angels outside did, although most of them appeared human-like. You wondered briefly if there was a rhyme or reason to it, or if God chose to make the woman you barely avoided running into resemble a moose because it made Him laugh.
Once you’d escaped the war room, you had immediately breathed a little easier. Still, you continued on until you physically felt the tiny shocks and electric currents of warning ebb from your skin. It was as if Sera’s essence had stuck to you, her presence clinging to your frame to make a longer impression.
It had your skin tightening, muscles clenching as a chaotic flood of anxiety and fear prevented you from walking solidly. Too many ‘what if’s’ took you in and out of awareness, making you stumble over nothing.
It had crossed your mind that Emily did not appear before you’d made yourself scarce. A part of you had wondered at that, feeling as though she’d have waited for you out of some concern for your wellbeing.
Perhaps that was all for show, however. Sera was clearly excellent at appearing benevolent, and Emily had looked toward the Seraphim for guidance in front of you. It stood to reason that Emily could also be two-faced.
The logic was sound and yet it made you wince, whether from shame at your incorrect judge or character —
‘Or how much she reminds me of Lucifer.’
You imagined Emily looking at you while stripped of any warmth and compassion. She quickly changed, morphing into Lucifer with hollow, unfeeling red eyes.
It hurt.
—
Panic had you frozen in place a time or two before you’d gained a wide enough berth to stop.
Beforehand you’d walked clouds so polished and flat you’d swear they were glass, amidst the more general population of Heaven with your arms wrapped around yourself. It felt needed when even those outside the Capital looked at you with interest, as if they knew.
Maybe they did. Was it against the rules to keep secrets in Heaven?
“We are literally judges, juries and executioners in Hell.”
“Executioners?”
“What’re you talking about?”
The recollection of a seemingly insignificant moment drew you to a halt. You stared at the pristine ground, fists knocking at your sides. The confusion on your face doubled when you looked up.
Your ‘wide berth’ had led you far away from the crowds of perfectly content angels and their sleek, futuristic buildings. Farther than you’d anticipated, as ahead of you lay a line of trees that thickened into a dense forest.
Like Earth, Heaven had a variety of terrains — or so it would seem. Child-like curiosity had you crossing the line between airy openness and into the thicket of pines. All varieties of fir, pine, and larch coexisted with one another, bowing and swaying in the wind. There was nothing to be afraid of, but a sense of oddity hung in the air as you walked a perfectly sculpted path.
The smell of damp earth and lilies rose from the ground at your feet. A warm breeze rustled the hair that hung limply around your face. Birds sung merrily above you, flitting from branch to branch.
It occurred to you that no matter how deep you traveled into the woods, the sunlight never waned.
And yet faintly you heard roaring. It was distant but growing louder with every step you took.
It was not an animal nor man calling out to you from far away. You felt the change as the smell of sap intermingled with that of salt on the wind, and the floor turned from nettles and moss to pale sand.
You rubbed your eyes as the trees parted and seemed to disappear as they revealed a beautiful, sparkling sea.
Sun cast off the surface of the ocean, bouncing against a kaleidoscope of multicolored clouds surrounding it. And you had Dejá vu before blinking away the flash of purple and honey in your eyes.
You watched tiny waves as they fell against the shoreline, seafoam disappearing within moments. It continued, mesmerizing you, as you ambled toward it. When the water finally rushed over your feet, it carried tiny seashells that scuttled around you. And unlike the ocean you were familiar with, this one was a perfect temperature, no acclimation required.
For the first time since arriving in Heaven, you felt yourself smiling genuinely.
You gave into the urge to squish the wet sand between your toes and waded into the water up to your ankles. Your worries began to wash away with each pull of the tide, slow and steady.
Eventually, you meandered away from that singular spot and began to trek parallel to the shore. The sun never got in your eyes nor did the sand get whipped up and blow into your mouth. Everything from the waves to the breeze was gentle.
As were the eyes that were upon you.
As soon as you felt that stare, you stopped in your tracks. Just the thought of turning to them was daunting.
You don’t have to look, but you do.
There’s a woman with you now, with hair so long and blonde it’s almost white. Her chin, lips, nose, and eyes are delicate and soft.
—
Eve had lingered upon your every step once you’d arrived in her neck of the woods.
She was glad to see that the effects of the beach it hid were enough to soothe you, even if it was more of a distraction than a cure. You deserved something good, even if it was relatively meager compared to everything you’d endured up to this point.
Your figure grew smaller as you crossed the sand, away from the first woman’s hiding spot. You were none the wiser, engrossed in the soothing give and take of the water. It made it easier for Eve to creep up the beach only a few paces away, free to follow your path without ruining your tranquility.
It reminded Eve of a simpler time when she was the one being eyed curiously from afar.
***
Tag List: @crescent-z, @for-hearthand-home, @undertale-is-sansational, @loslox, @navierkalani, @yaimlight, @ivoryviness, @crystalplays28, @flowerempress, @wally-darling-hyperfixation, @altruisticradiodemon, @moonlight-readings, @halparkebitch, @charliecharlie65, @sockgoblin, @cocomollo, @caniseethefourthsword, @squeegeeclean, @crow-twink, @an-emovision, @marydragneell, @lafy-taffy, @fandom-imagines1, @loquacious-libra, @glowymxxn, @avadakadabra93, @froggybich, @hamthepan, @ukor02, @adaizel, @boogiemansbitch, @vinillies, @lbcreations-blog, @thesoundresoundsecho, @serenity-loves-red, @alientee, @aquaamythest96, @0strawberrysorbet0, @fluffy-koalala, @washeduphazbin, @rebecca-hvnstn, @velvette3, @kermitdafroggy, @wpdarlingpan, @apatcheworkofproblems, @cherry-cola-100, @pink-apples001, @al-of-the-stars, @backinthefkingbuildingagain, @martinys-world, @alastorssimp, @wobblesthewaffle, @shikiribee, @undertale-anomaly20, @asakura-fangirl-stuff, @ringsofpersonti, @angelicwillows, @wingoodlilboymyway, @cimadreamer, @museofzealoushope, @oneiric-rotaerc, @call-me-nyxx, @darling-angel222, @elementwind91, @bloody-delusion-expert, @martinys-world, @devilslittlebabyxx
Forgive me if I forgot to tag you or the tags don’t work, I don’t know what that keeps happening.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader
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jailhouse rock au - again! (master-list) <3
i imagine that simon would get rather insecure when you two were in public. while he adored you, he'd move the sun across the sky for you! but shouldn't you be with someone better?
someone who wasn't working a blue collar job in small parts manufacturing, who wasn't a former criminal? like simon stole and was locked away in the can for several years because of it! what kind of man would look a woman like you in the eyes and you'd say, 'i want you.', it left a clench in his gut that he couldn't get over.
he wanted to be good enough, but failed. just like he failed at being good enough for his father. sometimes his old man's words made him shiver at inopportune times.
"simon." you said.
"yes, love." his attention was drawn to you.
you leaned over, closer to him and rubbed his forehead softly, "you're getting worry lines."
he leaned in to kiss you, his hands were on your legs that were draped over his lap. he said, "sorry, love."
but no matter how much the anxiety bit at him, you loved him with your whole heart. you never shielded your love away from him, you found that when you were with him, you simply lit up. you could do all the mushy couples stuff together.
"we should go on the ferris wheel!"
"look there's a photobooth over there."
"i'm grabbing another straw to try some of that milkshake of yours!"
and simon ate it up. and as you got further into your pregnancy, you became more "mushy" as you said. you'd cry more often, but you weren't a weak woman. if anything you still commanded your little household more than before. because now simon couldn't say no to his pregnant girlfriend.
"yes, love." he said to your request as he was nuzzled up with your belly. he basked in its warmth for a minute before he got up to do what you asked.
your life wasn't without arguments, simon could be closed off and have a dark storm cloud over his head. but he would never tell you why, it drove you crazy when it happened. you knew so much yet so little, you had his entire life mapped out but his childhood (the root of some of his issues) was entirely blank in your memory.
"speak to me, simon... i'll never judge."
"i don't wanna scare ya off."
you reached out for him and got as close as you could. you stood on your tiptoes to be more eye level. you held onto his face and said simply, "simon, if i was scared off. i would've never sent that letter."
and simon replied, "never leave." and pulled you into a tight hug. and for the first time in many years, he cried. he cried so hard that he had to go on his knees with you because he felt so weak.
he was your lover, your pen pal! he was everything. and as you kissed him on the cheek you said, "nothing will ever take us away from one another."
-
later that evening, you thought you'd be sweet and feed him crisps from the bag while his head was in your lap. while he softly licked the seasoning off your fingers, you let out a small moan.
simon smiled a bit, his heart of ice was completely melted with you. and with a hand up the skirt of your maternity dress. his tongue was on your fingers while his fingers were skimming your pussy.
"tomorrow." you said, "i want to know everything i can about simon riley."
he looked up at you with those dark eyes of his. he nodded and said, "of course, love. now c'mere."
let's say that the most fun you ever had having sex with him up to that point was when he took you on the couch. however it did leave you with a pretty bruise on your knees from pressed into the base of the couch while you rode him. <3
#bunny writes#jailhouse rock au#call of duty#reader insert#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty smut#simon ghost riley#call of duty x reader#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley smut
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KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP! KEEP PRETENDING TO SLEEP!!!
HEHEHEHEHEHE I WAS WAITING TO COOK THIS
Coffee insanely speaking! Thanks Dear, you gimme the perfect excuse to write a second part just in time although I expected the option of talking to him to come first. Not that I'm complaining lol
Post where this suggestion came from
↪︎ ☾ I love to see you ....................................... .......................................☆ I love to hear you↩︎
TW: yandere behavior, delusions, murder of self-preservation, stalking, obssesion, somewhat willing reader, kinda denying of bad decisions
Of course, the best option is to stay still, not because you are enjoying this no no, of course not...
Despite his soft voice that sounds rather familiar, you can't really recall who or where. So the safest option is just giving in at the moment, you didn't know how he could react so the safer the better, isn't it?
A smile starts creeping on your face against your will, seems like you are a rather bad actor when it's required, huh?
“Oh, I'm really glad, you seem like you're finally having a good dream… will it be too greedy if I want to be inside that little dream of yours? Well, if you find that greedy, you won't be able to handle me later”
Hearing a close mouthed giggle following the whisper makes your heart flutter softly, like this is some kind of really romantic scene in his mind. You were able to hear the faint sound of footsteps, he seems like he's doing a little room tour, making it a little hard to hear him.
“Oh Dear, you were researching that thing again?”
It seems like he found his way into your phone, what was he referring to?
“Why do you keep reading so much about romance? Are these words good enough to keep your focus?... Maybe I have to start practicing oral expression? It's been a while since I felt like that, last time was when you downloaded that stupid dating sim… This is truly irritating, the names they use, the way they ‘communicate’ to you; do no justice, I can express myself way better, my love, and how my eyes change when I see you walking by… just... please, I need only one chance, and I promise you won't have a room left for doubts”
Even though he made the effort to lower his voice in order to 'not wake you up', it's clear how his tone is changing with every word depending on the topic; First, a low hint of infatuation, then, what sounds closer to a plead and, finally,...was that...hopelessness?
Honestly, in a normal situation, you would be annoyed by someone searching through your phone but only an idiot would think this man would judge you even if you had pictures of dead people there, more like he's genuinely looking for more of you, despite the fact that it's really not the ‘proper’ way, you can't say it didn't work.
“My beloved Cherry, what can i do for you to talk to me? Those characters seem to steal your attention quickly… I would be lying if I sad I'm not a little hopeful because of them though, you seem to have quite the specific taste, Cherry, and I believe I fit perfectly on them... if only I could find the right moment to get into your routine, to be part of your life…”
Weird that he worries about getting to talk to you with an ideal scene but not worrying about stalking you, but maybe it's kind of understable? Since well, everyone likes to check on their crush on social media even if they take a while to actually talk, even if this guy took it a little too far, he sounds... harmless like his wish is just to win your affection…
wait a second…
Are you truly relaxed in this kind of situation? What is going on with you? Why? Why… well, can't say you didn't ask for this, even as a joke, you know this time is different because it's real, but… why does reality feel like a fantasy right now? Is it because of him?
“Huh, I come here as a routine by now, I still get the same queries, I’m dying to find the answers soon..”
Sensing that lightly sweet fragrance once more makes you know he’s approaching your ‘sleeping’ form once again, making it easy to hear him despite his constant whispering.
“Would you let me cuddle you? Would you let me kiss you? Would you mind if I were clingy? Would you mind if I get jealous? Would you mind if it seems like I already know more about you than I should? I want to hold you my dear, I can’t wait for the day I can just snuggle with you every time we want… I really can’t wait anymore, I need to be closer to you… I guess I have no option other than to talk to you out of the blue, I dislike to be so imprudent, but I promise I will make up for it once you accept me in your life, Love”
You feel a gentle hand slightly caress your cheek as a little peck is placed on your forehead, making you almost smile like a fool if it weren’t for the fact that pretending to sleep is your priority in this sweet moment, unexpected but called for moment.
“Sweet dreams Cherry, I have to prepare what I should say tomorrow, I will put all of my efforts to be my best self to make a good first impression, I hope I snatch enough of your interest to be on your mind even for a moment”
Oh, he is definitely gonna be stuck in your mind for a while, as you try your best to focus on the sounds, you catch his steps as he seems to walk away… but you keep up with your act just in case.
So, tomorrow, huh? Seems like once again you have important decisions in your hand, should you indulge in your fantasy and let him get near you? It also sounds fun to go to him first… But, maybe you should try to avoid him? It’s the safer choice, but do you really want that? He seems safe enough not to raise any of your flags, he seemed so caring for you…
sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣
images from pinterest
#pineapple our oc#Coffee speaking#yandere#random#yandere male#yandere imagines#yandere drabble#yandere oc#oc#male yandere#yandere scenarios#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#obsessive love#yandere classmate#otome#yandere x willing reader#stalker#tw stalking#soft yandere#yandere writing#drabble#silly#silly writing#delulu#delusional#anon ask#oc x reader#yandere oc x reader
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sorry if this is too harsh to ask. when ever the story leans over to the city cats, they mistreat others or lean on the evil/bad side (look at poor aldertail, lake, scorch, and smokeyrose :( )
the more I read this, the more I'm siding with the clan cats to wipe out all the city cats. that way there can be peace for everyone because I can't see how the city cats have any remorse in the clan cats eyes or yours
Wow. Okay.
Um, first things first, I will never be in support of Wiping Out any group of people. I get what you're trying to say but that's just not an ideology I can get behind. It is honestly a very dangerous and upsetting argument to make and hopefully, I can explain why.
Most of the city cats are not Evil. Most of the city cats are people who grew up in a corrupt system and have been taught to do bad things from a young age. Like Mystique for example: Has she hurt people? Yes. Does she seem resistant to change? Yes. Does this mean she is not worthy of compassion or a chance to grow and be better? Absolutely not!
I was raised Mormon. I know a lot of people, some who I love, who do bad things on the regular - people who voted for trump, people who support homophobic or imperialist policies, people who are hurtful to the marginalized people in their lives. I will NEVER believe that these people deserve to die for the way they are. They are just humans doing their best with the knowledge they were given and the baggage they've accrued.
I do think that there are cats, like Razor for instance, who need to be Stopped, certainly, and removed from positions of power. Unfortunately, cats don't have the ability to institute more systemic solutions to these kinds of problems so they will most often solve these problems by killing the cat. But this should only happen after it is clear that there is no opportunity for a non violent solution.
The world is complicated and messy and it means people are taught bad things and have trauma that makes them hurt other people. I'm not saying that those behaviors are okay. They should be held accountable for the harm that they do. But those behaviors do not make them irredeemable or Evil. Hell, I don't think there ARE Evil people! I don't think there are GOOD people! People can't be good or evil because they are always going to be making new choices. Some of those choices will hurt people, some of those choices will help people, some of those choices are entirely neutral. I believe you can judge people's actions but its impossible to judge their 'soul' so to speak.
There are a lot of cats in the city who do bad things because they see those things as normal or because the system rewards them for doing so. Do you think the Clans should kill all of those people?? Because I will never agree with you if you do and I urge you to rethink how you see the world.
Give me any city cat and I will be able to find a way to empathize with them. Yes, even Razor. They're all just people. And in my opinion, none of them deserve to die. They deserve to change and heal. And I think most of them will. I'm a death penalty abolitionist and that means I don't think ANYONE should be put to death. You don't get to selectively apply that kind of belief only to the people you think are 'good'.
Sorry for how long and rambling my response was. If anyone has follow up questions or comments, I'm open to discussing this further, just please remember to be kind and avoid any sort of harassment, and that goes both ways. Nobody harass this anon for what they said. I believe they are very misguided but that doesn't make them a bad person. If you think that then you've entirely missed the point of everything I said.
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Can we have a loyal MC who after falling in love becom3 loyal all of sudden so now they wouldn't let the demons touch them? Also I wanna see it if its the seraph MC fallen in love with.(lets say this is after the christmas event + random interaction afterwards)
Ohh, so MC who fell in love with the seraphs, and now wants to stay loyal? Sounds interesting~ let’s see.. how would the demons react? Would make for a nice AU
Devils kings + the abbadon boys
Satan would be so angry with you. You fell in love with the enemies? Seriously? With those feathered bastards? That’s not all, now you suddenly want to stay chaste for them??? Why! The very first rule he taught you was to not hide your desires! Do their believe with ‘staying pure n’ innocent’ wear off at you? Besides being simply angry, he’s also frustrated. Cuz you need devil energy so that you can stay in hell, but now you don’t want to engage in sexual activities with them. He’ll definitely get mad at the angels for seducing you.
Mammon wouldn’t really mind, because you are his master. You are allowed to do whatever you want. And if it’s the angels you desire, he’ll catch them for you. Even if they are seraphim’s. It’d be a lie though to say he isn’t even slightly jealous of your object of admiration, but that’s Levi’s job, he can keep his jealousy under control. But just like Satan, he’ll get worried if your condition starts to worsen due to the lack of devil energy in your body.
Levi, like we all guessed, would be super jealous. But let me put in another aspect, he’d be disgusted. You are so defiant towards him because you fell in love with an angel…? Do you even know how insulting this is to him? Are you saying he is not better than them? Not to mention, how can anyone like those creatures! They only love god after all. He’d think you are stupid, say your feelings are disgraceful or indecent. In the end, it’s all because he’s envious of course, especially so because you are in love with his greatest enemies.
Beelzebub is more the silently judging typ, at least that’s my impression, if you get what I mean. Like he’s the kind to say, “I’m not judging but…” In other words, on first glance he’s approving of you, saying it’s your decision and he doesn’t mind, but then he’d add little comments to shake your resolve. Things like, “oh but they only love god right? Who knows if you’ll have a chance?” Or: “you want to stay pure for him? Do it if that’s what you want. Ahh, but what if your health deteriorates again? Who knows?” What a sneaky bastard huh…
Lucifer would be in shock at first. I mean.. you just told him you are in love with his brother… Then he’d ask why. Of course he’d be curious, he still cares about them a lot. Maybe don’t tell him how you two meet explicitly though. He’d admire your resolve despite the hardships, but he’d also know subconsciously that it wouldn’t work due to how stubborn his brothers are. Though, if you can change the views of the seraphim’s and make them see something other than god, he’d be really grateful to you. 100% would support you! Partly because he doesn’t know about you needing devil energy.
The Abbadon boys won’t understand you. I mean, most of the devils won’t understand you, but they wouldn’t get you the least. Because those are the guys that are sexually the most liberal. Ronove would agree partly cuz the angels are beautiful, especially their wings and he’d love to own a few. That doesn’t mean he’d stay low-key with the erotic stuff. Phenix fucks around a lot and thinks that the best, so he would think it’s a torture to try and stay loyal to only one. What a polygamist king, go for it. And dantalian wants you to take him with you to heaven if you get a chance to go there. He really wants to meet your crush! (And have him nearly kill him!)
#whb#what in hell is bad#dantalian whb#whb dantalian#whb satan#satan whb#what in hell is bad satan#what in hell is bad levi#whb levi#leviathan whb#leviathan what in hell is bad#what in hell is bad leviathan#mammon whb#what in hell is bad mammon#whb mammon#mammon#what in hell is bad beelzbub#beelzbub whb#what in hell is bad beelzebub#whb beelzebub#luci whb#whb luci#lucifer whb#whb lucifer#whb ronove#whb phenix
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Hi! It's me again (I'm transferring to a bachelor's in biology this fall and I love the science that goes into the series so I love that you're exploring this)
Do either of them have hoarding instincts or dietary preferences or are they pretty much human in that regard?
They'd possibly be born with baby teeth, at least in Haze/Hazel's case, would that change anything? (Hazel would probably fit better because Falin is half French on her father's side from what I remember from the Adventurer's Bible and it feels even that they'd both get to name a kid but that's just my opinion)
Haru with his mouth full: Checkit!! Blegh!!
Haize: Gross. Good job, Haru, you're a natural hunter!
Welcome back to part 10,000 of me talking about my silly ocs. Hi. hello. Thank you sooo much for coming back with more biology questions for these two hehehe >:]c
Diet Preferences?
These two are quite the oddballs. Haru is an insectivore by simple dragon nature while Haize is a carnivore by hers, though their elven and tallman sides balance them out to be closer to omnivores! Light dragons commonly eat bugs as they're the easiest prey to attract when ur big and flashy though this keeps them very lithe and they typically have more slender builds, though the proteins do help a lot. Conversely, red dragons being mostly carnivores results in their larger build and their obvious frequency to be the most dominant and persevering dragon species- y'know. Because they murk the other ones due to their weaker diets and builds.
Haru started to eat bugs right around the time it was warm enough for him to go outdoors without getting sick, I imagine he would've eaten a butterfly or a dragonfly much to Marcille's horror. Like that vine of the pug eating the butterfly with his owner screaming no! Backtracking a bit though to give some cool facts about baby light dragons because I decide the lore. I'm making them weird half mammal half bird-lizards because I think the variety is cool but this also means that - up until baby light dragons can open their eyes and properly attempt to hunt - they drink milk from their parents! (Whether or not this is crop milk like birds produce is entirely up to the reader's imagination, I will not judge but I will choose either one if asked)
So up until he started going outside, Haru was perfectly content just drinking milk like any other baby- Haize was not. Unlike Haru she was born with baby fangs!! Just little milk teeth to help her get a headstart for the world and such, but she grew hungrier for something more diverse than milk very quickly. Red dragons, unlike light dragons, don't do the whole milk thing so Haize was only partially satiated due to being part elf and tallman but the minute she was allowed to eat soft meats she basically refused to go back. So just imagine like a 1 year old eating various lunch meats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Honestly it was probably for the best, Haize's fangs bit into Marcille a lot and they were worried she might grow a taste for blood if she kept accidentally nicking her mom while trying to eat. She probably would have and it would've been a really bad habit to get rid of because she hadn't developed that big girl brain to be like "Hey maybe drinking blood isn't super cool."
All in all, the Touden-Donato sibs have slightly preferenced diets! Though Haize prefers meats, nectar, and citrus fruits while Haru prefers bugs, ground vegetables, citrus fruits, and any/all milk based desserts (he just really likes them). God if these kids ever got their hands on sorbet it would be a disaster, Falin and Marcille would literally spend a week trying to explain why they cant have ice cream for every meal and have to deal with whining dragonets the whole time.
2. Hoarding Instincts
They do have hoarding instincts! Though this is one of those things that differs from dragon to dragon on how they react with it. Light dragons tend to go for the flashiest treasures to make themselves more appealing and alluring, naturally they like the attention they draw in just from an instinctual standard. They frequently discard rusted, unpolished, or just not as eyecatching treasure all the time. They really just arent particular about the whole thing unless they see you have an interest in something they were previously disinterested in- then they're smug assholes who see their treasure as still having some renewed value. So essentially Envy = Worthy to them, but they arent extremely vain creatures despite their hoarding preference and are actually particularly generous within reason. It's very common for light dragons to gift their young, mates, or siblings with treasures from their own hoards or that they've taken for themselves to gift. Typically though the gifting of treasure is to help younger dragons start their own hoard and have an idea of what to go for when out and about for themselves.
That being said, Haru is a greedly little fucker who wants every single new treasure possible, fuck you. He's very grateful for being part elf and tallman because he's aware that he can make his beautiful treasures last long if he polishes, dusts, and cleans them! So his hoard isn't too huge if only because he's good at maintaining things. Still, if he sees something he tends to want it and is often reprimanded for trying to steal shiny gems, jewels, or artifacts just because he likes them- as Haru often gets tired with his new finds extremely quickly if they begin to bore him or don't compare to his other treasures. When it comes to his hoarding he essentially has the dragon equivalent to having eyes bigger than your stomach.
Haize, however, has your more traditional dragon's hoard of miscellanous treasures, artifacts, coins from birthdays, and prized family gifts. Much of her hoard consists of trinkets Haru grew bored with but that she still saw interest in and wanted to give renewed purpose, she isn't nearly as picky but is very curious and likes to inspect an item before taking it in. She'll often let Haru have a treasure knowing that he'll get tired of it within the hour- though she has been known to assert her place as the eldest sibling if there is a gift for her she particularly wants and Haru usually shies off. Haize doesn't assert herself as the eldest often so he knows it's business if she does for things like food or treasure. Haru keeps her hoard partially in and around the her nest as well as the family nest in Falin and Marcille's room! Her nest in the guardian is where she keeps most of her baby clothes, toys, trinkets, and cloths/blankets. She just feels they're safest there and prefers to sleep near them <3.
Also, fun tid bits on how dragons train their kids to gain treasure!: Typically young dragons get the urge to grab and snatch at shiny things as soon as they're able to crawl around functionally and protect themselves- which is pretty early due to them being predators of a mythical variety- so they'll often try and steal treasure from their parent's hoard! Older dragons use this as stealth training for their young and will often guard their treasure, sitting stop or nearby and continuously removing their children until they manage to sneak by successfully to take a trinket. Typically the larger/shiner/whatever is more impressive for the type of dragon you are is what is most rewarded for by parents but they do punish thinking a bit too big. It's good to know your limits! better to have 5 gold coins than 5 gold bricks you cant carry.
so Falin was very often having to train Haru and haize to amass their own treasures which was much easier for Haize due to her slinky and stealthy body allowing for quicker and quieter movement! Haru had to learn to fight, due to his regular baby limbs and range of movement, which didnt really work because he's so itty bitty but the thought was appreciated by Falin, learning to stand your ground is good too!
#as per usual send in more asks about these guys pretty pleeeease#haize and haru lore#oc lore#farcille#dungeon meshi#marcille dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#falin dungeon meshi#marcille donato#marcille dunmeshi#dunmeshi falin#farcille fankid lore#farcille fankid#farcille fankids#fankids#ship kids#my ocs#my art#oc asks#chimera/dragon biology
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First I’d like to ask if you’re ok and unlike some bitter stans I won’t judge you if you feel strong disappointment and even some sadness about this. It’s not just you.
(Getting into it)
I think Blitzø is obviously not great but he was an asshole to a normal (for hell) degree. Loona was no better, Verosika wasn’t, stolas sure as hell wasn’t. I don’t know why they’re beating him down this much it hurts to watch. I really don’t want him being with someone who makes him feel like nothing.
So seeing Blitzø be treated like he’s absolutely detestable by everyone around him feels terrible, while stolas is given a fifth song (which should have been Verosikas) probably which is probably far from the last. And heralded. It hasn’t always been that way, him and Mills were besties, Loona appreciated him in a shy way, moxxie was an exception critiquing him. Now everyone and their mom want him to die.
Reminds me of when stolas was taken to hospital like a wounded princess despite being fine in a week because he’s immortal, and the journalists stomped on Blitzø like he was nothing. Punishing him for not running to his aid. That’s the fandom. And the writers.
Btw the duet sounded like…shit. Two characters in completely different directions with nothing in common and entirely different goals, zero compatibility but played up as quirky and fun. Also they retconned it so Blitzø likes the sex now. Thats new.
Also after via kills Stella or Andre stolas role is said to be “more important than ever before” as he takes the blame and…I’m exhausted. He’s already taken the show from IMP (whose now disbanded?) now more screen time for him?? What a nightmare.
Agreed with every last word of this. Blitzo is a shitty guy, but the hijacking of the plot into The Stolas Show robs him of the opportunity to be better and stronger. What little time he's allowed to grow on his own always comes back to Stolas, and he doesn't get to examine his actual faults because in Viv's eyes, his biggest fault is that he hurts "nice guy" Stolas's feelings.
You get the sense that Viv (and maybe Brandon) don't even like him at all and won't until he's giving Stolas the love Stolas quote unquote deserves.
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genuinely asking because i saw the post with you saying you arent fatphobic - if you run a pro blog that caters and creates triggering media for ppl to starve themselves, isnt that inherently fatphobic? even if you arent bullying or harassing people, isnt it just a deep rooted feeling from the disorder? theres probably fat people who ask for you to post thinspos because they hate themselves and want to starve. isnt proana all inherently fatphobic even if you dont post fatspo? (im up for discussion, not trying to pointlessly argue)
hi first of all, thanks for the ask.
second of all…
Everyone on this planet has internalised fat phobia. Even body positive influencers and celebrities. Societal standards, and media has conditioned our minds into believing that fitting into certain standards is better than just loving yourself. I never denied that I wasn’t just the same
I am not saying it’s ok, I’m just saying it’s a bitter truth. In an ideal world this shouldn’t exist
I only use ( an A ) tags in order to ensure no other people outside of this community sees my posts, the people in the tags are
Already having an a
Reporting blogs (and weirdos ofc)
already have some underlying problem
yes my content is triggering, that is the point. It’s supposed to encourage you to ‘stick to your plans’
again, I know this is NOT a good thing, I’m just explaining the content I’m posting read further…
There has been sooo much debate on this, but the way I see it, it offers support to people who feel alone in the world. Connecting you with people all over the world. Posting has allowed me to create a community of over 300 people in just a couple of days. These are all individuals who have gone through similar things as me.
My condition did surface from the desire to look a certain way, yes. But it is so much more than that. My fellow ⭐️🦴 might relate. It’s like no matter how hard your life is, you at least have control over what you put in your body. This keeps me going.
now, that difference between th0i0n0s0p0o (T) and f0a0t0s0p0o0 (F) is large
we aren’t humiliating and bullying random people who choose to live.
there is a HUGE difference between “ew, I do not want to look like her” and “omg goals”
Both are toxic, though one is better than the other
I don’t post F out of respect for people. Although I judge myself and my body, I try not to judge others.
so yes,
I am inherently fat phobic, everyone is
I have a mental illness that commands me to starve
I post triggering content (all mental illnesses are triggering if you look at it like that )
I am just a person trying to navigate my life withought breaking down every few minutes. This blog is my way to cope.
No,
I do not dehumanise and bully people for their size and simply existing on the Internet
I don’t post rude comments and inspo that Hates on fatter bodies
I hope this answers your questions
love
#ana is my friend#ana is my life#light as a feather#pro for me not for thee#starv1ng#tw ed but not sheeran#tw ed sheeran#anor3c1a#ed relapse#thinsperation#th1insp0#i just want to be thin#th11n$p0#th11n$po#th1gh g@p#th1ghspø#th1n$pø#th1nnsp0#th1nnspo#th1nsp1ration#th1nspi#th1nspø#thiinsp0#thin$po#thinnn#thinsi#thinspp#thinspø#tw thinspi
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I was a cute girl as a kid, but as a teenager, most people wouldn't think of me as pretty. I was skinny in an unhealthy way, not because I wanted it, but because of my metabolism. I had hormonal problems, so my hair was completely out of control, I didn't know how to dress properly, nor cared to learn how to, even when others started to focus more on finding their own style, experimenting with what was or what wasn't stylish considering each year etc... My friends and classmates, they were all slowly becoming more mature in a way that I didn't seem to fit no matter what. I remember there were those silly, anonymous games played in an app, where the boys had to choose from the most beautiful girls to the "ugliest." As you can already imagine, I was always on the bottom of the list.
What I find pretty amusing, however, is the fact that those things didn't affect me much back then. Well, I would be a liar to say that they didn't affect me at all because I, too, felt the need to be accepted ( and I, too , trusted the wrong people in order to feel that acceptance). BUT, in all honesty, I don't remember myself crying because I was considered "ugly." I don't remember myself saying, "I wish I could be more beautiful. "
Instead of that , I continued doing my thing. I loved art, so I continued to sketch. I loved books, so I continued to read. I continued to do the things that I simply enjoyed. I told myself that everything would happen eventually. When I started to feel like I was ready to change something to me for the better, I did it. But for the right reason. For me. Not to become more appealing to people who judged me for simply the way I looked like, but for me. Acceptance? The only one needed was me.
Turns out, in my case, it was a great thing that I focused on my inside then,and read books , and wrote diaries, and spent time with myself , thinking, and discussing, and learning , and loving myself, because I invested too much in my heart, mind and soul, and then eventually yes, everything else came around as well. My body changed, and my face got more mature, and I connected with genuine people and right now, at the age of 23, I won't compare myself and tell how beautiful or not I am , but I'll tell that I managed to be whole , inside and out after all. Because I didn't change back then just because I wasn't appealing to others. I try to be humble, always, and in my mind, each one of us has their own unique beauty. There's only one combination of me , and there's only one combination of you as well.
What I want to say ? Girls, if you love putting on makeup because YOU enjoy treating yourselves, then good for you ! If YOU love reading books and making art , then good for you ! Do not start putting on makeup just because "everyone else does it," and do not start reading books because "he/she/they told me that people who read books are their ideal type". The glow up will happen eventually. And it will start from the inner. Do things that make you happy. Surround yourself with people who see more in you than just a face and a body. Become the best version of you and protect your heart because our society right now can be very harmful. And always , always remember. No matter how beautiful we all are, beauty will fade. We don't want to be empty inside when that happens.
#poetry#quotes#quotes about life#quotes about love#woman#girlblogging#inner thoughts#inner peace#inspiring quotes#love#love quotes#text#diary entries ♡#diary#thoughts#motivation#self love#self care#positivity#positive mental attitude#body positive#suggestion#positive suggestions#life quotes#deep thoughts
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Not A Word
jealous! AJ Campos x fem reader
Warnings: fluff, angst, coarse language, jealous AJ(obvi😂), bit of a smutty ending
Requested? Yes / No
"
Me? Jealous? Jealousy is not a word I'm familiar with.
"
“AJ! You’re out. y/n’s gonna run instead.”
“What…?” AJ looked at coach Murray, in utter disbelief. “Why?”
“Her timing’s gotten better than yours and we need to place, as you know.”
“Fine, whatever. Even though we still have plenty of time for me to train.” AJ jogged away in a huff.
You watched her leave, worried. Shit.
“Okay, y/n. Go to the starting line, you’re gonna run a few.”
“A few?”
“Yeah, a few laps to practice.” He nearly scoffs, “Go, go.”
“Alright.” You shrug, heading for the starting line as he said, then started running. The whole time, you were wondering where the heck she went off to. When you stopped for a bathroom break, you saw her sitting there by a pillar, drawing in her notebook. AJ looked up, saw you, and scooched a little further away. Sighing, you decided to leave her alone for now.
She was still there when you walked out of the bathroom. Resisting the urge to talk to her, you jogged back to the track. You didn’t see her for the rest of practice, and after practice, you couldn’t find her. You tried texting, then you tried calling. She didn’t pick up, she didn’t reply. And then her phone was switched off. “y/n? What’s wrong?” Gabi walked up behind you.
“I can’t find AJ. I tried calling and texting her but then she switched off her phone.”
“I think I have an idea for where she might be. Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”
“Okay, thanks.” You followed her to her car and she drives you a park a little ways away from their house. “She’s usually by the pond sketching after a bad day. Though now, usually she goes to you, but since that isn’t the case right now, here she is.” Gabi stops to let you get off. You spot someone sitting down on the grass by the pond. “Oh, my God. Thanks, Gabs.”
“No problem. Glad I could help.”
You approached her quietly, sitting down beside her. “Hey.”
She shifts slightly, letting you know that she was aware of your presence, but she doesn’t take her earphones off. “AJ.” You repeated. “We need to talk.”
“For what?”
“About practice.” You began, lightly tugging her earphones off.
She sighs, closing her book. “AJ, Murray’s decision— I didn’t think he would pick me to go. I just ran. I- I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry about that. You improved, that’s a good thing.” AJ looks at you, then focused back on the ducks in the pond. “I just— I don’t know, I was—”
That was something she struggled with, opening up to you about her feelings. She always kept to herself. It’s always been like this and you have been trying to get her to be more open instead of trying to shoulder everything herself. Sometimes, it works, she’s okay, she talks. Other times, like right now, she just completely shuts you off and runs away. AJ doesn’t like it that you have to see her upset, you know it but you couldn’t care less if she cried in front of you. You would just hold her and let her cry it out and whatever else she needed. Did she know that? Yes she does, she just…struggles with accepting that you’re there for her.
“Jealous?”
AJ scoffs, “Me? Jealous? Jealousy is not a word I’m familiar with.”
“Babe, that’s okay, it’s a valid emotion. Okay? I will literally pull myself out of the team if it means that you get to run the race.”
“y/n, why would you do that? You’re great at it.” She answered tearfully.
“Because, it no longer makes me happy, actually. I feel more stressed than I do relaxed when I go to practice.” You admit, “I just stayed because it looks good on my record, transcript, whatever. I can see it, you love the sport. It’s what makes you feel happy, confident, recharged.”
AJ swallowed thickly, fighting the forming tears. “I’m just used to having to be the best, y/n. My Dad expects me to be the best, that if I even slip up just one time, I feel like I failed. I feel like everyone is judging me…”
————
“Baby, I- I know it’s so hard, I know your Dad’s hard on you. But it’s me…I’m here for you no matter what. For anything.” You told her, grabbing her hand, “See, look at this. This ring- it doesn’t cost much but it means the world to me because it represents the promise that we made to each other. I wear it all the time, and so do you…it’s tiny, but important. but not as important as you being there for me, me being there for you. We’ve been through some shit. But we don’t let it take us down forever. I don’t care how bad your day is, how much you need to scream or cry, run or punch someone. I will be there with you to do that with. I’m here, let me share things with you. You’re not alone— don’t just shove everything down.”
AJ chokes on a sob and then just ended up bursting into tears. You put your arms around her as she laid her head onto your chest. “It’s okay, baby. Just let it out, okay?”
“I know, you need the reassurance. You’ve told me that. So do I, sometimes. And in the event where I can’t give it to you, remember the ring. Our promise…this conversation. Please. AJ, I love you and I care about you. I want you to remember that.” By the time you finished talking, you were in tears as well. “You’re alright, honey.” You kissed the side of her head while rubbing her back. “We’re okay.”
“I’m sorry.” She sniffled, “It was wrong of me to get jealous. It wasn’t even your fault. And I just — gave you the side eye like you chose to run in the race.”
“Baby.” You chuckled, breaking away from the embrace and tilting her head by the chin, “I don’t care about that. It happened, so what? I know you, I know you didn’t mean that. I actually found that look on your face kinda funny, and very adorable actually.”
AJ laughs a little and ends up coughing, “I…I need you to know that too, I love you no matter what. No matter how shitty of a day I might have.”
“I know that, AJ. I know.” You promised, “I think I kinda know you pretty well by now.”
She blinks, licking her lips while looking at you. Something about that look in her eyes, there was like a shift in the mood almost instantaneously. AJ’s hand travels over your shoulder and down to your upper back, gently connecting your lips with her own. Somehow, you managed to push her back enough so that she’s laid on her back on the grass. AJ chuckles, “Hey. What are you doing?”
“What were you doing?” You retorted.
“Kissing you.” She answered, eyebrows raised briefly before crashing her lips onto yours again, hand roaming your back.
“AJ, do not take off my—”
She chuckles into the kiss, mumbling an ‘okay’ and the kisses don’t stop. “I love you.” She combs a hand through your hair while you now laid your head on her chest.
“I love you too, baby.” You replied, finger tracing her chest randomly.
“Maybe we should go…” She remarked, hand still massaging your scalp.
“Why?”
“It’s starting to get kinda dark, aaaand I don’t want those poor ducks to see what I’m about to do to you.”
“Oh.” You gasped, eyes looking into hers, “So we’re gonna do that now?”
“If you want to, of course.” She bit back a grin.
“Hell yeah, I want to.” You snuggled closer to her for a bit, “I also wanna just cuddle with you. This feels really nice.”
“We can do that afterwards.” AJ wiggles her brows, her fingers stopping in your hair.
“Really? Okay.” You exhaled, “Okay, let’s go.”
Once you returned with AJ to her house, she leads you up to her room, smoothly locking her door. “So, you’re sure?”
“Oh, yeah.” You confirmed, arm resting on her shoulder as you leaned in to kiss her first.
“Oh, my God.” AJ mumbles into the kiss, pulling you in by the waist.
After that, you were in the shower with her. You helped her shampoo her hair and lather the soap on her body. She does the same. You loved moments like these and she does, too. Quiet, comforting intimacy after sex. AJ randomly cups her face in her hands and presses a kiss to your cheeks then all over your face. It made you giggle, and she smiles. “You’re so cute.” AJ says while brushing the hair out of your face.
“Have you looked in the mirror, babe? You’re fucking adorable.” You held her chin, puckering up your lips and she kisses you again as expected.
“The mirror? I just did. Like, 10 minutes ago when you were trying to—”
“Let’s not.” You put a finger to her lips, “I’m too tired for another round.”
She had a tiny smirk on her face that turned into a sweet smile as she shut the water off, “Okay.”
Once you two stepped out of the shower, she quickly hands you a towel to dry yourself off with. AJ did the same then went over to her dresser to get a change of clothes- for her and for you. She got dressed in a comfy muscle tank and sport shorts, and you then put on the t-shirt and shorts she laid out for you. You climbed back into bed with her, immediately snuggling up against her with your head on her chest. “Sleepy, babe?” Her hand was on your back, the warmth comforting you,
You nodded, humming in response. “Jealousy is so hot on you, if I’m being honest.”
“Oh, is it?” She guffawed, patting your back to lull you to sleep.
“Just try not to tire me out so much all the time.” You mentioned that so casually, it made her giggle again. “Okay, beautiful.” AJ smiled to herself, “I promise. Get some rest.”
#auli’i cravalho#aj campos#crush(2022)#hulu crush#aj campos x reader#x reader#female reader#reader insert#wlw#queer#lgbtqia#wlw fanfic#wlw fluff#wlw angst#jealousy
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Through Your Eyes | Part 3 - In the Blink of an Eye (Joel x Reader)
A/N: So this is the rest of what was chapter 2, but I broke it up to keep chapter 2 shorter, and good thing, too, because I ended up adding a lot more. 🤣 Also, I know in canon the garage is a separate building, and I have a plan for that, so bear with me, please.
I do not own The Last of Us or it’s characters. Sadly. But I carry them in my heart. Does that count for something? My soul says yes.
Warnings: Oooo, this one’s a doozy as well, but in a different way than the last one. So many things. (Let me know if I miss anything.) 😮💨 Some more original characters, lots of canon violence and swearing, (this one is a big one. Like a lot. There’s a hefty amount of swearing.) mention of attempted sexual assault without detail, Reader is a badass. We round it all out with obscene amounts of fluff and humor between it all, sweet moments, and just soft things. It’s me. I can’t not. No use of Y/N.
Word count: 13,464
Thank you to @fordo-kixed-rex for reading over this however many times it’s been now and fangirling over it when I was having my down moments. You’re the reason this still exists.
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Xxx
The next morning, your little band of six was up with the sun and making sure the horses were ready. Starting out with over fifteen, this smaller party felt like a speck of dust in the wind compared to the massive herd you were before.
Joel had introduced you to the remaining members, people he personally trusted, which from your brief time with him, you knew meant a lot.
First was an older man named Jack, closer to Joel’s age with graying hair and a laugh that was infectious. He was a whisperer when it came to the horses. Well, any animal, really. You could have sworn you saw a butterfly land on his fingertip when no one was looking earlier this morning.
He looked over both shoulders so slightly you almost missed it, but he did a double take when he caught your eye, a small smile spreading up one side of his face as you both watched the small winged creature take flight once again. Jack held his index finger it had been perched on up to his lips in a bid for your silence, to which you only pressed your lips firmly together and gave a single stilted nod to try not to draw attention toward either of you.
It didn’t work.
“What’re you doing?” Joel asked from your right, drawing out the words skeptically to match the raise of his eyebrows in question.
“Nothing,” you offered quickly, fastening your backpack closed and gathering the last of your gear before heading over toward your horse. Once your back was to him, you grimaced. That was much too fast to be convincing.
“Uh-huh. Sure,” he drawled sarcastically, mumbling something under his breath when you didn’t acknowledge him. Something along the lines of, “She ‘nd Ellie’ll be the death’f me.”
It was Jack’s whiskey that had helped Jane’s wound yesterday. He hadn’t hesitated offering his little hip flask out of a secret pocket on the inside of his jacket as soon as he saw the state she was in.
A man pulled you gently off to the side before you could make it over to Jane, Joel following quickly after you less than a step behind.
You didn’t know his name, just that he seemed trustworthy, and slightly tortured. His eyes held a closed off level of pain you’d seen all too often since outbreak day, once or twice in your own reflection, and you knew not to judge how a man chose to fight his demons.
So it was no surprise to you when he offered the stainless steel little demon chaser he obviously kept with him at all times, primed and ready. The liquid sloshed a little inside as he quickly tugged it from his hidden pocket. It was dented in a few places, worn and obviously loved. It had seen better days, but that was kind of the point…. It saw “better” days in order to help you see some better days yourself.
Or to help you sleep through them.
Whichever helped most.
It was the apocalypse.
Who were you to judge?
“Take it,” the man said, holding it out, his hand shaking slightly as he gripped the lifeline with just the tips of his fingers in a hesitant extension. “She needs it more’n I do.”
“Y’sure?” Joel asked, as you eyed the tremble of the man’s fingers. “Withdrawal is no joke, Jack.”
The man who you now knew as Jack’s features curled up in some sort of shame, then determination. He bounced the flask slightly in a renewed offer toward the two of you, his extended hand more firm as he worked hard to calm the tremors. “Neither is being stabbed. What she’s going through is worse than a few uncomfortable nights for me. I’ll survive.” Try as he might, the flask started to vibrate slightly, and he looked down at it like it had betrayed him.
And in a way, you guessed it had.
Reaching out to gently cradle his hand in both of yours, the tremors seemed to still for a moment. Holding his gaze, you took the flask from his grasp, not missing the way his grip tightened just a little before releasing it.
Withdrawing his hand back to his side after a delayed moment as if he had been shocked by some electric current, curling it into a tight fist and quickly stuffing it deep into his jacket pocket, Jack smiled brightly as he looked between the two of you. “Jus’ don’t shoot me when something crawls up my ass in a few days, Joel.”
“No promises,” the elder Miller grunted with a small grin, turning and ushering you toward Jane to make sure no one else interrupted you along the way.
Next was a younger man named Liam, who looked to be around Will’s age. Despite being new to patrols or going on runs and all they would entail, he was eager to learn and an excellent shot.
Turns out he’d also come from Texas, though was much younger when everything had happened, probably only twelve or fourteen years old on outbreak day, so you assumed he and Joel hadn’t crossed paths until later, somewhere closer to Jackson.
And you couldn’t help but feel like maybe Joel was playing a little bit of a favoritism card for his home state, allowing the much younger newbie to tag along with all the other more experienced travelers when he still had so much yet to learn. (You couldn’t blame him if he was. It was yours, too, after all.)
It wasn’t until you heard Liam mention how his family had worked for Joel’s contracting company ‘once upon a time’ - to which Joel had walked past grumbling something resembling, ‘I ain’t that old’ - that things started making a little more sense.
Less of the home field advantage, and more of the home grown kind.
It was becoming clear that Joel was a family man, although to be honest, that was obvious from the start. What you were coming to see was that family wasn’t all just blood.
And that was a decision he made long before the apocalypse.
That was just Joel Miller.
That was his DNA.
If you found yourself in his fold, you’d be okay.
Taken care of.
Even when the world went to shit and he ran into your kid thousands of miles away across the country when everyone was fighting against infected….
That boy would have a home.
You watched with a smile as Joel helped Liam adjust something on his rifle, then braced it on his shoulder and looked through the sights down the barrel with one eye squinted shut, before lowering the weapon and handing it back to the younger man.
Liam copied Joel before pulling away only a step to meet the elder’s gaze, and they shared some quiet words. Some muttered joke drifted to you about old eyes before Joel lightly cuffed him along the back of the head with a smirk and a smartass as he turned to leave, Liam grinning with a chuckle as he turned and secured his rifle to the side of his mount.
With your own grin pulling up your features, you turned slowly and surveyed the rest of the group as you stroked your horse's mane. “I think we may just make it, old girl,” you mused quietly, turning a skeptical eye on your mare when she chuffed at you. Rolling your eyes, you looked back to the group, and mumbled under your breath, “If Joel were a horse…. You’d be it, darlin’.”
The last newcomer to you was a woman named Kate, about your age, and a walking encyclopedia of every living thing in the forest. What you could eat, what you couldn’t, what was medicinal, what was flammable…. Before the outbreak she had been a nurse, and her skills were invaluable to have around on an excursion like this.
She had offered to help with Jane, but Will only let her supervise. No one could pull him away from the wounded seamstress. Under any other circumstance you would find it endearing, but at that particular moment, you found it anything but.
You tried to speak calmly, but the man was trying your last nerve. “Will, she knows what she’s doing. Let her help.”
He lifted his eyes to look at you from where he knelt on one knee on the other side of Jane, and you swore you saw tears brimming in them. If he blinked, you were pretty sure they would fall. But he hadn’t blinked as long as you’d been looking at him, which struck you like a bolt of lightning when you realized how long that had been. It was almost as if he was afraid to close his eyes. Like if he did, she would be gone when he opened them again…. Even if only for a second.
“I’m not moving.” He pulled his gaze higher to meet the sympathetic face of Kate. “But she can supervise.”
You began to argue again, but Kate put a hand on your shoulder. “That’s fine. I can do that.” Her voice was soft and soothing. “Let me go grab my kit, and I’ll walk you through it, Will.”
He swallowed roughly and nodded once, not looking directly at her, his eyes falling back down to look at Jane who hadn’t woken up since she’d passed out at the raider camp.
“You’re lucky she’s unconscious, or else she’d be giving you an earful right now,” you sighed, letting your weight slump back onto your seat. Resting your forearms on your bent knees, you studied Will cautiously as your head lolled to the right with a tired huff.
“I’d gladly take that over this silence right now,” Will said so quietly, you almost missed it. He held one of her hands in his own, so fiercely and yet cradling it so delicately, you couldn’t even begin to hope to describe it should you have to.
He maneuvered so her head was in his lap, and he peered down at her with a look you thought had died off on outbreak day. Something so tender, so soft, contented….
Come to think of it, you’d seen it on Joel a few times, usually when he was looking at Ellie, or Tommy, though the last was short lived.
Occasionally when he would look down at his watch, though that fluctuated between pain and this sense of peace and contentment.
Almost always when he was in his shop, tool in hand and project on the table.
And sometimes, when he thought you weren’t looking…. Like right now…. He had this look when he’d steal a glance at you.
Stealing your eyes over Will’s shoulder, you met the eyes of your current housemate, and instead of darting away like they usually did, he held your stare as he absently tended to his horse’s tack.
“It’s weird to see her so quiet….”
Will’s soft words pulled you back to the matter at hand. And you could have sworn you saw Joel grin in your peripherals.
“You’re gonna wish you never said that,” Jane mumbled, groaning as she rolled her head to the side, her face screwed up in pain. “Once I start going, I don’t stop.”
You grinned. “It’s true. She doesn’t have an off button.”
Jane reached out and whacked your arm. “Be nice to me. I’m dying.”
“No, you’re not,” Will said around his broad grin, maneuvering her head off of him so he could get beside her for a better view. The smile he gave her then was nothing short of brilliant. “Not if I can help it.”
Speaking of….
“Joel? Where’s Will?”
He smirked with a gentle shake of his head. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Gripping the reins of his horse, he clicked the side of his mouth quietly as he got near the creature's head, stroking it softly with one hand as the horse nickered at him.
You led your horse over toward him, reins pulled tight as the giant, powerful, dapple gray wonder named Delilah balked, digging into the earth and tossing her head side to side with a discontented snort.
She’s as stubborn as he is. Fact, I’m pretty sure they planned this. Conspired and everything.
“I plotted nothing with your horse,” Joel mused quietly, amusement heavy in his tone as you realized you said the last part out loud. “Only thing Delilah and I conspire ‘bout are sugar cubes n’apples.” He shrugged. “There’s the odd carrot talk here n’there, but….”
Joel sighed before you even really got moving, as if he were anticipating the whole thing. His head tossed back as he peered up at the sky as if to ask why.
Dropping the reins you closed the last few feet between you and Joel, arms coming to cross over your chest once you landed behind him. “Well, I’m gonna.”
Joel sighed again, resting his head against his horse’s, who let out a soft contented bray, before pulling back to look at you. “Will’s okay,” he said softly. “Now, leave it alone.”
“How do you know?” You swiveled to follow him as he walked over to gather your horse’s reins, shushing the large mare until she, too, was nickering at him, then he led her back over to you.
Joel shrugged, pulling his face tight in amusement as he placed the horse’s tack back in your hands. “Jus’ do.”
“If you don’t tell me….”
He mounted his horse with a groan. “I patrol with the man. I just know his little quirks, okay?” Looking down at you from atop his mount, Joel’s expression was unreadable as his horse stepped back and forth, eager to get going. He reached out to pat the back of the large chestnut’s head, muttering calming words. “Shhhh…. Calm down, Old Beardy….”
“Your horse's name is-”
“He’s not in trouble…. Yet,” Joel cut you off, sitting up abruptly, slightly wide eyed on the back of Old Beardy. “But if he keeps pesterin’ Jane like I think he’s wantin’ to,” his eyes narrowed in on you ever so slightly as he leaned back over his horses head to offer soothing circles of comfort on the side of his neck, “that could all change very quickly….”
You scoffed, arms across your chest cinching tighter. “Really?” They rearranged to your hips as you leaned toward him with each word, most likely for emphasis, but you weren’t entirely sure. “Was that a not so subtle dig at me to stop pesterin’ you?”
Joel shrugged, one shoulder going slightly higher than the other, as he sat back upright astride his horse and an amused grin started to pull up one cheek. “You said it. I didn’t.” With that, he nudged his horse forward, moving past you at a slow walk, and you could tell he was trying hard not to smile.
Xxx
Without Will here, the group traveled in relative silence. After a while, it became unbearable for you, and you steered your horse to sidle alongside Joel and his steed.
“Ellie told me Tommy was your patrol partner.”
Joel nodded. “Mmm-hmm. Usually is.”
You watched a butterfly fly in front of you, smirking as you glanced at Jack and found him already grinning in your direction. “So what changed?” You focused back on Joel and the road ahead.
Joel sighed, adjusting in his saddle. “He’s gonna be a daddy soon.” Your eyes bugged out of your head, making him chuckle. “Yeah, that’s ‘bout the same reaction I had.”
“Same reaction we all had,” Jack chimed in, making everyone laugh softly.
“I dunno. Seems like he’d be a good dad,” Liam posed.
“What makes you say that?” Kate had turned in her saddle to face the youngest of the group, her eyebrows nearly in her hairline.
“It’s just a gut feeling.”
“A gut feeling,” Jack agreed distantly, staring straight ahead. “And by that you mean the thought of it makes your stomach turn.”
As Jack passed by on your right, you reached out and shoved his shoulder lightly.
“What?” The man protested, looking at you wide eyed. “It’s true! Ain’t no way the words Tommy Miller and Daddy ever came up together naturally….” Jack grimaced as he turned back to face forward again. “‘Least not in any way I care to think about.”
“Watch it,” Joel warned teasingly. “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, asshole. He may be a stick in the mud and about as sharp as two spoons trying to pick up pudding-”
Your face twisted in confusion as Joel took a breath. “Um, spoons could easily pick up pudding. That’s not an insult. You must be tired.” Joel turned his glare on you, and you simply grinned around it, continuing on. “I think you were going more for something like spoons trying to cut through stone?”
The group all snickered behind you as the two of you simply stared at one another, amusement hiding deep in your expression while annoyance clearly painted his.
“I concur with Liam,” you agreed instead after a moment. Joel huffed and turned his gaze on the young man who only shrugged in response before he was looking back at you.
“A Miller man an actual daddy,” you mused quietly, smiling softly as you stared straight ahead. “I don’t think the world could handle the awesomeness.” Looking back over at Joel, you expected to see him grinning at the playful banter, but instead he looked somewhat sad.
The same expression he had when he looked at his watch sometimes.
In fact, he glanced down to it now. It was brief, but you caught it.
It wasn’t the look Will had had with Jane. This was that sad, forlorn expression, like he was missing something. Like a piece of his soul was gone.
But as quickly as it came, it went.
Without a glance your direction, he pulled his eyes up to the path ahead and squinted as the horses pulled into another clearing and sunlight shone directly on his face.
“Yeah,” he finally gruffed, clearing his throat as he purposefully looked at the forest around him. “He’s gonna be great. Anyway….” He nudged his horse faster, seeming to head for the next pocket of tree cover a few yards away. But you weren’t that dense and could tell he was just trying to get away from the conversation, so you followed suit, falling into step beside him once again.
Joel sighed almost imperceptibly when he heard your horse's footfalls lining up with his own once again. You could have sworn his eyes rolled slightly, too, now that they were not squinted in the shade of the tall trees. But he went on regardless. “Maria’s been sick a lot more the further the pregnancy’s gone, so…. Told him t’stay home.”
Nodding, you kept your gaze forward, allowing Joel a respite from prying eyes. This was all a tender subject, and you still didn’t know why, but you could respect that. “Well, it looks like Will is a good one to take his place,” you mused quietly.
Glancing over, you saw how Joel’s expression brightened again, his eyes casting down to the ground like a bashful kid. “He’s alright.”
The group made it a decent ways, a handful of miles between all of you and the former bandit camp now that there were fewer of you, plus you didn’t have the cart to slow you down.
Even so, you still missed Jane and Will. They both added a quiet energy to the group even if they never said a word.
But they both always said plenty.
Joel had the group stop at an abandoned cabin on the very edge of the forest, letting the horses rest and grabbing a bite to eat from what was packed. Everyone was settled in and halfway through some sandwiches, when suddenly you could hear muffled galloping through the cabin walls. It was approaching rapidly in the distance, back in the direction you had come from.
The whole party sat up abruptly, food long forgotten as they reached for their firearms and listened closely.
“Everyone stay inside,” Joel mumbled quickly, striding over to the small fire in the cabin's hearth and setting his cup of water on the mantle, swapping it for his rifle already resting there, always within arms reach.
Jack and Kate cocked their rifles, clicking them over to safety and resting them across their laps while they remained in their seats by the fire, watching Joel head out the door. Once the elder Miller had passed the threshold, the door softly latching shut behind him, Jack clicked his safety off. Kate arched a brow at him, and he shrugged.
“Better safe than sorry.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “And if it’s nothing? And you get jumpy? What then?”
Jack huffed quietly at her whispered admonishment. “I don’t get jumpy.”
Casting her eyes down to his still trembling hands pointedly, she pulled her eyes back up to meet his and arched a brow. “Maybe you don’t, but that leftover whiskey in your system sure does.”
Flipping his hand under the barrel over to grip the armrest of the chair in an attempt to stabilize himself, Jack glared at Kate, but quickly turned the glare down to his hand when the tremor instead began to rattle the loose wooden pegs holding the seat together.
“Point taken,” he grumbled, flicking the safety back on before sitting on his practically vibrating palms, his rifle braced across his thighs. After a moment he hurriedly grabbed the rifle and rested it against the stone fireplace in front of him, sitting back on his hands and adding a bouncing knee to the routine. He looked at Kate and shrugged. “It’s gotta work its way out somehow.”
Turning away from the two by the fire, you spotted Liam still asleep in one of the long abandoned bunks in the cabin corner, and you couldn’t blame him. An actual mattress that hadn't gone to hell was hard to come by. You smiled faintly after remembering how he had plopped in it within five seconds of entering the structure.
“Anyone wakes me sooner than morning, clickers are gonna be the least of your worries,” he said, flat on his back and eyes already closed, followed by a contented sigh as he melted into the slightly redeemable box spring.
The dust particles that had filled the air in a violent swirl when his back hit the mattress had finally begun to settle. They floated through the lazy sunbeams that danced through the remaining cabin windows, dirty as they were, reminding you of lazy weekend afternoons back before the outbreak.
A lawnmower going down the street.
Kids laughing in the cul de sac.
The smell of barbecue from somewhere nearby, or just a fire as people stood round to watch it for fun in their back yard with a drink in hand and relax.
Not to rely on it for warmth like now.
For food.
Usually outside and in silence for fear of what lurked just out of sight.
You hadn’t thought about these things in so long….
Since before moving to Jackson.
Before Joel and Ellie….
Shaking your head, you shut your eyes to quit staring at the dust particles long enough to focus back on the matter at hand.
Liam. Hoofbeats. Focus.
Looking back at the peacefully sleeping young man, you grinned slightly. Shifting your weight side to side once, you sighed heavily through your nose.
Sorry, kid.
After absently adjusting the strap slung across your shoulders of the rifle you’d stolen from the raiders, tugging where it pulled tightly at the center of your chest, the weapon a heavy reminder at your back, you walked quietly over to him.
Gently nudging his shoulder with your left hand, you then held the index finger of your right up to your mouth to indicate silence as he stirred and began to ask what was happening in a bleary voice.
Liam turned his head toward you, his face screwed up like you had a flashlight trained on his face in the darkest of nights. “Who dares to distur-” The hand rubbing one eye froze mid swipe, and he stared at you with the other eye that was still exposed.
Suddenly fully awake, his palm trailed up to rest on his forehead as he blinked a few times then looked wide eyed around the cabin and saw everyone with their weapon either in hand or at the ready.
He sat up abruptly, his hand falling to his lap soundlessly as he continued to scooch closer to the edge of the mattress, miraculously avoiding every traitorous squeaky spring in the thing.
Once at the edge, feet still propped up on the tiny cot, he reached down seamlessly into his open backpack resting on the floor against the foot of the cot closest to his head, and pulled out a machete, bringing it up to rest on the bed beside him as he gave you a single nod.
It was a very Joel thing to do.
A snort of amusement pulled your attention back over your shoulder where you saw Jack looking on with a grin, nodding in approval. “Kid’s got the right idea,” he said just above a whisper.
“I learned from the best,” Liam mused around a grin.
“Yeah, Joel’s really been passing on some gems,” Kate said, looking slyly at Jack, and snorting in amusement when he turned a disapproving glare her way.
“The kid wasn’t talking about Joel,” he groused. “He’s my patrol partner, Kate. He meant me.”
“I actually meant Tommy.”
All three sets of eyes turned to Liam, before quiet snickers of laughter went around, the younger man beaming at the attention.
“Nah, I’m just joking.”
“We know,” Jack coughed softly, eyeing the door of the cabin when Joel still hadn’t returned, clearing his throat.
“I meant Ellie.”
This time the laughter was a bit louder and unrestrained, but still quiet. A thump on the cabin door was heard, then it swung open and Joel popped his head in.
“Hush!” He hissed to the four of you, the continuous growing sound of approaching hooves filling the following silence of his deathly stare. “You four are louder than a horde!”
The cabin door shut silently, but it might as well have been slammed with the finality it gave. The four of you exchanged looks.
“‘Least we smell better than a horde, though.”
Jack’s off handed comment made the rest of you snicker quietly as you tried to follow Joel’s request.
“Speak for yourself,” Kate grumbled. “Most of us do, ‘nyway.”
Jack and Kate shared another little stare off as the tension of the impending approaching hoofbeats grew closer.
Meanwhile, Joel had slinked around the side of the cabin outside for a better vantage point before the newcomer on horseback could get any closer. You were able to track him through two of the cabin’s windows before you lost sight of him. If he stayed on the path you’d last seen him on, then he would have made it just behind a pile of firewood and out of sight when the rapidly approaching horse crested over the tiny hill and came into view.
His footsteps were virtually silent, only the foliage crunching underfoot could give him away, and he was careful to not let it. Aside from one or two traitorous twigs that helped you all in the cabin follow his movements once he was past the windows, he was like a ghost.
Suddenly his footsteps shuffled carelessly, every leaf and twig breaking under his weight and being kicked to the side with little to no effort to mask his steps as he slid to a stop at the same time you heard a second male voice.
It was familiar as it yelled, “Woah, woah,” overlapping the sound of a horse breathing heavily as the galloping came to a stop. Then a thud as someone hopped onto the ground from a height, you guessed from the back of the horse, the foliage underfoot crunching from the impact.
You were so concentrated trying to place the familiar voice that had called out to the horse, you missed the pair of returning relaxed footsteps back toward the cabin. The low, muffled voices exchanged a murmured conversation you couldn’t quite make out even if you were paying attention.
The cabin door suddenly swung open, and there stood Joel, a grumpy look on his features, followed by an amused looking Will.
“Told ya he was fine,” Joel grumbled, holding your wide eyed gaze.
The other three members of the group let out a collective sigh, of what you assumed was relief, all of them stowing their weapons once again and settling back into the comfort and warmth that had been interrupted.
Will stayed outside to tend to his horse while Joel came back into the cabin, grumbling something about not signing up for this the whole way back to the fireplace.
As Joel passed behind Jack, he pulled the chair the older man was seated in back, making his friend reach out to stabilize himself before looking up at Joel skeptically. “And you do smell like a horde. Go use the rain barrel out back and clean up, ya ass.”
“It’s the shakes,” Jack mumbled, staring at the floor in embarrassment as he got to his feet before heading for the door. “They make me sweat somethin’ fierce.”
“Then use this as ammunition to never let the whiskey get you this bad again, Jack.”
Pausing halfway to the door, the older man looked up to meet Joel’s piercing expression, the embarrassment on his own melting away into determination. The two men held each other's gaze for a moment before Jack nodded once and headed out the cabin door.
“I’ll go with him. Make sure he’s okay.” Kate stood up, slinging her rifle across her shoulders and grabbing Jack’s from its spot still against the fireplace. “After everything, I’d prefer someone watch my back, too. Only fair I watch someone’sin return.”
Joel nodded and watched her follow after Jack. When the front door opened, you could see Will tending to his horse out front before it closed again and cut off the outside world. He, Jack and Kate traded muffled words before Will came inside, swiping his sweaty brow in the crook of his elbow with the sleeve of his outer flannel layer.
Once he got settled into the cabin, hogging a space by the fire despite a look from Joel as he adjusted to make room, and several pieces of beef jerky from the main stash despite you and Liam staring him down pointedly, an overly excited Will explained everything.
Hold your horses I’m getting to it! How he rode all morning …. Can someone pass me some water? I think I swallowed a bug on the way here …. after sneaking out of Jackson …. Jerky has never tasted this good …. to try and catch up with the group once again after …. Man, whoever built this fire did a good job. It is hot! …. after Jane ‘threatened to maim him’ if he didn’t get ahold of her sewing machine. Shouldn’t be too difficult.
He had a starstruck look in his eyes the whole time, and you were pretty sure it was because he was living out his secret agent dreams by sneaking out of town and back to the group, but it was especially evident when he talked about Jane, making you smile.
Does he realize he would have done it if she hadn’t even asked?
He was wrapped around her finger already.
Kate and Jack had come back in by now and were in their seats by the fire once again, watching Will with bemused expressions.
“We had to get out before dawn so the council wouldn’t put a stop to it. Things are crazy since we got back and those raiders wouldn’t say a word. Became freaking mimes.” Joel snorted in amusement.
“Security was doubled instantly after we told them about the threats, so I had to pay off the south gate watchmen. By the way, Joel,” he turned toward the older man, “they get to choose their next three patrols.” He shrugged at the exasperated look from the elder Miller. “Was all they wanted. I told them they had to be done within the next three months or no deal, and they said fine.” Joel arched a brow.
Will took a deep breath, wincing slightly like he didn’t particularly want to relay this next part.
“Spit it out,” Joel growled, adjusting in his seat in front of the fire to face it, holding his hands out toward the flames.
“The council aren’t too happy that you didn’t come back with everyone.” He looked around the room. “Any of you.” Then back at Joel. “But especially you, since you’re partially in charge of security, n’all.”
“Well, ain’t that nice,” Joel mused quietly, the side of his mouth ticking up as he continued to stare at the fire.
“They mentioned a disciplinary hearing once this is all sorted out.”
Everyone in the cabin groaned at the mention of more politics.
Everyone but Joel. He just grinned, rubbing his hands together in front of the flames. “Well, I think Ellie said it best….” He looked at you, then Will. “They can bite me.”
“Speaking of Ellie,” Will grabbed his backpack where it rested at his feet, pulled it into his lap and unzipped it, digging into its contents with purpose. “She was real worried ‘bout both of you when she heard what happened.”
He looked up, his hand withdrawing from the bag and gesturing between you and Joel with his index finger, then went right back to rifling through the bag, making one side of your mouth pull up slightly at his antics. “So she sent these with me.” Pausing in his search, he shut his eyes in exasperation and tilted his head back toward the ceiling. “Don’t ask me how she knew I’d be leavin’, before you start yellin’, Joel,” Will disclaimed preemptively, his voice tired already as he focused back on the bag, returning it to the floor and withdrawing two items. “Girl’s got a mind of her own.”
Will extended a hand to each of you, the one for Joel holding an old revolver that the man looked at fondly, his eyes softening as he took it from Will’s hand, and tucked it into the back of his pants. The younger man reached back into the bag and pulled out a bandolier lined with bullets for the gun that you’d seen Joel using his reloading press to make out in the garage a few times.
Ammo could be hard to come by, depending on the caliber, so when Joel happened on some reloading equipment on a patrol, he’d been ecstatic. It didn’t matter that he’d thrown his back out trying to get the heavy gear home. Stubborn as he was, he made it work, he and his horse somehow tag teaming the equipment all the way back to Jackson from who knows where. He had not allowed Will to touch it the entire way back, some stupid childlike claim waging between them like finders keepers or something along those lines - you’d stopped listening with a roll of your eyes as they’d bickered the whole way into the garage with the equipment.
“Come on, Joel. I helped you get it here!” Will’s voice carried from the garage, his breathing heavy as he tugged the makeshift sled the equipment was on the last few feet over the threshold.
“I said no! Now drop it,” Joel groused, the following silence after a loud clatter almost deafening.
“You said ‘drop it’,” Will said nonchalantly.
Joel’s hiss could be heard clearly all the way in the kitchen where you were doing dishes. “I meant the topic, not the tools….”
“Well, maybe I could think more clearly if I hadn’t just trekked thirty five miles with all that weight-”
“It wasn’t thirty-”
“Felt like it-”
“You’re acting like a child-”
“And you’re acting like a grouch-”
“Don’t test me, Will.”
“But grouch is nothing new for you, Joel.”
“Oh, just fuck off.”
“Make me.”
“Oh, I will….”
“Boys!” When you walked into the garage, the two of them were nose to nose, chests puffed up and about to bump into one another in a ridiculous display of strength. “Stop it. You’re both idiots.”
They both turned their heads to look at you.
“He thinks-” Joel started, overlapping Will’s “I didn’t-”
“What did I just say?” Your hands went to your hips in admonishment, brows knit together in an unimpressed glare.
Joel turned back to Will, a heavy puff of air passing through his nose before he smiled. “Fine. Finders keepers.”
Will scoffed in protest as Joel peeled off to start unloading the equipment.
“That’s not fair!”
“I said what I said. Now don’t touch my stuff, idiot.”
With a shake of your head, you left them to sort out their nonsense, letting the garage door close behind you and muffle their bickering as you headed back to the kitchen.
The night before you left, you’d seen Joel and Ellie out there together, working with the press as he taught her the basics of reloading. You wondered how many of those she’d made herself as you watched him take the bandolier delicately, holding it in both hands out in front of him like you would a newborn child. Practically cradling it.
The look in his eyes as he ran them up and down the lines of bullets, surveying each shiny casing, was much the same as that of a parent looking at their brand new precious offspring just after they’d entered this world. It was a look once adopted that never really left. Something a little precious, awestruck, filled with wonder and love, and a hell of a lot of pride.
You were ninety percent sure he was thinking about Ellie, and not the ammo, though.
Well, more like eighty percent.
Will cleared his throat to pull your attention back to him, jostling his hand still held out to you.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, looking down at the offering.
You saw your yellow fanny pack being extended to you, partly deflated and sagging as Ellie had obviously removed all your tools you wouldn’t need on the trip.
When you took it from Will’s hand, an unexpected weight inside caught you off guard. Unzipping the main compartment once you’d clipped the belt around your waist, you pulled out a pocket knife you had seen Ellie flipping open and closed almost daily.
She was never without it.
….Except now….
….Because she’d sent it with you.
The room began to swim behind your unshed tears as they threatened to fall, but you blinked them away rapidly. This wasn’t the time for that. Nor was it the time for that thing catching in your chest as you traced the tip of your index finger over the worn housing of the blade.
After a moment, you looked up at Joel, and saw the surprise on his face before his eyes pulled up from the familiar pocket knife to meet yours, something like fondness taking over his features as they softened. “That’s her most prized possession.”
“Besides the garage,” you shot back, trying to speak around the emotions building up in your throat, clearing it in an attempt to rid yourself of them. A wet chuckle took their place as you held his gaze, your grip tightening around the pocket knife protectively.
Joel snorted, shaking his head gently as he looked back down to the bandolier. “Don’t start.” He slipped the ammo belt over his shoulders and across his chest, adjusting it minutely like a man would a tie on Easter morning.
It struck you for a moment how much life had changed since outbreak day. Men used to adjust their ties and now they adjusted their weapons.
These were thoughts for another day.
Setting the knife back in the main compartment of your pack, you dug out the rock Joel had given you to rest against your black eye from your jacket pocket, and really looked at it for the first time since he had given it to you.
It was smooth, almost perfectly round, yet flat enough to hold in the palm of your hand easily. A rich dark gray, almost black with white streaks running through one part of it that made it look slightly off kilter. As it caught the firelight, the white streaks glimmered slightly. They were some sort of crystal, barely the width of a sharpened pencil, yet still they decided to shine.
You wanted to be like that rock. Solid and steadfast, it knew what it was, until sometime when it was forming, something else came along to meld with it and left a mark, a scar, a blemish, and yet…. It was still beautiful.
Glancing up, you saw Joel already watching you curiously, his brow raised in amusement. Unable to hold his gaze, you shook your head slightly before looking back down to the bag, and tucked the rock in the main compartment right beside the pocket knife like you’d meant to do before you’d gotten distracted.
The sound of the teeth stitching closed as you zipped the bag shut once again acted as an anchor to your wayward mind.
“I’ll protect it with my life.” Looking back up, you caught Joel’s eye, and something unreadable passed across his face, his gaze fluttering down to the bag, then back up to meet your own, before turning to Will as they started in on another topic.
Holding out a hand to halt the conversation, eyes shut tight in confusion, you stopped them. “Wait, wait, wait.”
Ignoring Will’s exasperated sigh, you forged on. Opening your eyes, you peered at him with furrowed brows as you lifted only your index finger, gesturing to your left a few times. “Back up.”
He lifted his eyebrows at you in question. Bobbing your finger slightly as you continued for emphasis, you arched your own brows curiously. “‘We’?”
Faintly, in the distance the same direction Will had come from, you heard a wagon wheel squeak as it rolled closer toward the cabin.
After only a moment of exchanged looks in hesitation, Will refusing to give away anything, you all piled outside to see who the newcomer was. Just cresting over the little hill before the cabin came a horse with a rider moving at a casual pace, the cart from before that had taken Jane and the raiders back to Jackson being pulled along behind them.
Everyone smiled while Joel groaned and cradled his head in his hand when it was clear it was pulled by none other than Tommy.
“You guys have all the fun without me,” the younger Miller yelled good-naturedly.
Joel groaned a bit louder, starting toward the cart with determination. “Raiders n’infected’ll hear us comin’ a mile away with that wheel. What’d you do?”
Tommy scoffed. “First your hinges, now this? Why d’you always assume it’s me?”
Once Jack, Liam, and Kate saw who was atop the cart, and that he and Joel were quickly slipping into their usual ways, the three of them wandered back into the cabin, shaking their heads and rolling their eyes as the two men continued to bicker.
Will, however, stuck around for the show. He was a firm supporter of Miller Entertainment. So long as there was something to see, he’d be there.
Oblivious to the reactions of the others, Joel continued towards his brother, taking the reins of the horse he was atop as Tommy hopped off. “Because it is always you.” He handed the reins back to Tommy as he went to inspect the wheel quickly before they both returned to the now dwindling group.
“Well, you’re fucking welcome, y’old fucker,” Tommy grumbled teasingly. “This wasn’t my idea, anyway.”
You smirked. “Jane got to you, too, huh?”
He looked at you with wide eyes. “That woman is frightening.”
You and Will laughed, as Tommy looked between you with the same, wide eyed look of fear.
After a quiet moment filled with your dying laughter and Joel’s grumbling as he glared at the wheel, Tommy turned back to his brother. “I just want you t’be happy, Joel.”
Knelt beside the wagon wheel, inspecting it up close now that they were beside the cabin, Joel didn’t even spare his brother a glance. “Then leave me alone, you ass.”
Tommy unhooked the horse, and you led it over beside Will’s where the two men started taking the gear off of them to rest for the evening.
After a long moment of messing with the wheel, Joel turned his head up to Tommy from his perch on the ground, wide eyed. “Who’s watchin’ Ellie?!”
Tommy looked down at his older brother, hands on his hips, unphased. “Herself.”
With a shake of his head, Joel got to his feet and paced in a small circle with his hands on his hips. The two Miller’s looked like carbon copies of each other, and it made you grin. “They’re all doomed. All‘f Jackson….” He rounded on his brother, both of them squaring off with hands on their hips and a stern, stony expression. “What were y’thinkin’?”
You laughed. “You may not have your garage to yourself when we get back, Joel. She may take matters into her own hands.”
After turning his hard glare on you, he turned back to the wheel, wrestling with it for a moment and finally yanking out a small twig caught up in the mechanism, before standing back up and dusting off his hands with a dry, tight grin. “For everyone’s sake, she better fuckin’ not.” He nodded to Tommy. “‘specially him.”
“Why me?” Tommy scoffed.
“You’re th’idiot that left a teenager unattended in my house,” he groused.
“There’s not much she can-”
Joel just leveled a glare on him. “‘member when y’threw that party when mom ‘n dad were out of town, and I was watchin’ you?”
Tommy huffed. “That was so long ago, Joel, and she’s way different ‘n I was. She ain’t the social butterfly like me,” Joel snorted, “anyway, it’s Jackson in th’middle’f a goddamn apocalypse. What the hell is she gonna do that’d be so awful?”
They shared a look, something unsaid that had Tommy’s expression shifting to some sort of understanding. He softly amended, “I’m sure she’s fine, Joel.” He clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “She’s stayin’ with Maria, anyway.” Tommy grinned at Joel’s groan. “I’m not entirely useless, big brother. I thought’f all that. Maria’ll make sure she gets t’school n’eats n’bathes….” That understanding passed over his face again, turning it to something soft, along with his tone. “She’ll be a normal kid, it’ll be fine.”
Tommy’s tone took on a teasing nature. “Besides,” he smirked. “That girl offered t’take my patrol shift for a week if I told you she was on her own.”
Joel’s eyes went wide as he stared at his brother, the shit eating grin on Tommy’s face only growing wider.
“My guess is for that very reaction.” He pointed at Joel, wagging his finger gently. “But of course I said like hell. She ain’t goin’ on patrol. No fuckin’ way.”
Joel visibly relaxed, his eyes closing in relief before they flew open and back on his brother with a skeptical brow raised. Waiting.
“So instead,” Tommy went on, smile only broadening, “she offered t’take my shift muckin’ out the stalls in the stable for a week. Somethin’ ‘bout ‘it’s all shits and giggles, but now instead it’s shits for giggles’…. I don’t know. Half the time when she speaks it’s like another language.” He was grinning like a fool by now. “Reminds me of….” That same look of understanding passed between him and Joel again, only this time something heavier seemed to carry underneath. His voice softened. “She’s a good kid, Joel.”
As they sat in their shared moment, you decided after a minute to break the silence. “Too bad you didn’t tell him, then,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.
Tommy turned to you. “What d’you mean?”
You couldn’t help the smirk. “I didn’t hear anything ‘bout her bein’ on her own.” You turned to Joel. “Did you?”
He was grinning softly. “I didn’t hear nothin’. What ‘bout you, Will?”
Looking over at Will, you saw him grin like a cat with a canary. “Not a peep.”
Tommy sighed. “You bastards.”
“Takes one t’know one, ya idiot,” Joel hummed under his breath, turning toward the tack for the horses that had been set on the wagon to move it under the makeshift barn that had been set up for the evening.
“You’re so mean,” Tommy groused half heartedly as Joel passed by, pouting his lip out in an attempt to garner sympathy from his big brother who just turned to him and wrinkled his nose up at him in disgust. The younger Miller mimicked the face and lightly shoved the shoulder of his older brother, causing him to stumble sideways.
“Boys!” You called out, grinning when they snapped their heads your way in unison. “You’re how old again?” Turning toward the cabin, you called over your shoulder toward the men, “I’m just sayin’…. But just for shits and giggles….”
“Ah, shaddup,” Tommy called over the laughter of the other two.
The rest of the party had just stepped out of the cabin to see what all the fuss was about, when suddenly there was a very high pitched yet muffled sneeze from behind you.
Knitting your brows, you turned to Kate who had just walked past. “Bless you?”
She looked just as confused. “That…. Wasn’t me.”
You turned to Joel. Only making it as far as to open your mouth and take in a breath before he cut you off.
“Ha ha, very funny, darlin’. Wasn’t me.”
Another attempted assasination of a sneeze sounded from the back of the cart under a tarp, and all eyes went to it, staring in disbelief.
Liam was the first to break the silence after a long moment. “Did that tarp just sneeze?”
A very quiet and muffled, “Ow,” came next, and you’d know that voice anywhere, no matter how squeaky it currently was.
Your feet were moving before your brain was fully processing what you were doing, carrying you toward the cart.
Jack was quick to chime in behind you, with an entirely necessary, “Did that tarp just talk?!”
A second female voice, this one much younger and sarcastic came from under the tarp, dry and droll, “Nice going, blondie.”
Joel’s eyes went wide. They pulled up to meet yours where you now stood on the opposite side of the cart.
He moved so fast, you could have sworn he had super speed. He was on top of the wagon wheel and ripping the tarp back to reveal your stowaways before you could even blink.
To be fair, you were only half a second behind him, ripping the tarp off the rest of the way from the other side.
In the dying light of the day, Jane and Ellie blinked up at the two pairs of eyes peering down at them from around the edge of the cart, looking justifiably sheepish at the attention. Five more sets of eyes appeared slowly, trickling in as they realized what was going on, only adding to the squirming of the two stowaways.
You were the first to break the silent little stare off. Holding the gaze of your friend, you hissed quietly, “What are you doing here?! You just got stabbed! Are you crazy?!”
Jane wasted no time in coming to her own defense. “I told you!” She tried to sit up quickly, and hissed when her wound protested at the movement. Before you could even reach out to offer help, Ellie was quick to help her sit up fully, putting Jane’s arm over her shoulder to ease her into the right position slowly. She spoke through a grimace, “I want that sewing machine, and I’m gonna get it!” Her eyes opened fully, her voice strong. “Come hell or high water.”
After you let out a strangled puff of air through your nose in aggravation, hand still held out to help coming back to land on the edge of the cart with a smack, all eyes turned to the teenager beside her.
Ellie merely shrugged, Jane’s arm still over her shoulder rising and falling with the movement. “I’m just here for the show.”
Xxx
Your small party sat outside around a campfire, milling about as the evening wore on, tending to the horses and other menial things before everyone was set to take off in the morning.
Will would not leave Jane’s side. He was her human crutch. Literally. He helped her hobble around, and from the look on her face, she was about to shove him to the ground and run, damn whatever happened to her wound.
He was a sweet boy, but a girl needed to pee in peace, stab wound or not.
“Are you going to chew my food for me, too?” She snapped as he broke a piece of beef jerky down into smaller pieces for her to eat.
He just stared at her for a moment, frozen.
“I’m injured, not broken.”
Will nodded after a long pause, looking down to the jerky in his hands as they rested in his lap. “You’re right. I’m sorry. This is just really tough stuff and I didn’t want you to hurt yourself trying to rip it apart.”
Jane sighed. “No, I’m sorry.” She rested a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate all the help, I really do. I’m just a really independent person, and this…. All this needing help…. is driving me nuts.” Her hand fell down to rest on his. “Maybe we can compromise?”
He looked up and met her eyes with his own, smiling broadly. “I’d like that.”
Jane nodded once. “First things first,” she popped a bite sized piece of jerky in her mouth from the pile in his hand. “I get to pee without an escort.”
“But what if-”
“Will, I swear to God, don’t make me-”
“Fine! Fine, fine,” he held his hands up by his head in surrender, jerky flying every which way as he forgot he was holding it. He peered at it on the floor in disgust. “Oops?”
Jane had a sour expression on her face, her nose wrinkled up. “That’s yours now. Mmmm…. Floor jerky. Yum.”
You’d tried to return the pocket knife to Ellie now that she was back, but she wasn’t having it.
“Since you’re here, go ahead and take this….” Unzipping the main compartment of the fanny pack, you extended the pocket knife she’d gifted to you toward her.
Ellie lifted a hand, shaking it as she took a step back. “No. I don’t need it.”
Cocking your head to the side in question, you bent your elbow but kept your hand out, letting the pocket knife rest in your palm between the two of you. “You need something to protec-”
The teen pulled out a machete from a belt along her hips you hadn’t noticed before. Holding it sideways, she tilted the blade side to side, letting it catch the dying light of the day and the errant twinkle of firelight. “Liam already hooked me up. I’m good.”
You snorted. “But this is yours-”
“And now it’s yours,” she countered. “….for now.” Her cheeks flamed pink. “I want that back.” A look of determination came over her features as she jut out her chin to look down her nose at you. “So you better not die, Miss Fanny.”
Grinning, you tucked the knife back into your pack. “I’ll do my best, Sparky. I’ll do my best.”
Ellie grimaced. “Sparky?”
Zipping up your fanny pack, you looked up at her through your lashes. “It’s what you remind me of.” Once the knife was secure again, you lifted your head to look at her fully. “A spitfire.”
Her grimace deepened. “But Sparky? That’s like what you name a dog or something…. Or elderly men like Joel.”
Joel, who was only a few feet away tending to the fire sighed heavily, obviously listening in, before he chuckled lowly.
“Then what do you suggest?” Your arms came up to cross over your chest, weight shifting to rest on one leg as your hip popped out to the side.
“I dunno….” She looked at Joel. “He’s The Contractor,” she said it in a ridiculous voice, making you giggle, “so can’t I be something cool like that? Like, I don’t know…. The Lumberjack…. The Carpenter….”
“You have to do all those things to get those names, smartass,” Joel chimed in, not even bothering to turn around and face the conversation.
Ellie stuck her tongue out at him.
“The Artist….” You offered, smiling when you saw the lightbulb go off behind her eyes. Nodding once, your grin grew when her own started up her face. “The Artist it is…. Sparky.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at the sour look her face instantly took on.
Tommy leaned back in his spot beside Joel with a loud groan, a mischievous grin starting up his face. “I just call it like it is. She’s Trouble.”
Ellie gasped, whipping her head over to look at him as her arms came to cross over her chest defensively. “And after I didn’t lump you into old man Joel territory over there.” She gestured to the elder Miller with a bob of her head before setting her sights squarely on the younger sibling once again.
Tommy shrugged demurely.
She glared at him, the ferocity of her expression causing you to chuckle softly as Joel let out a low whistle. “You’re dead to me, old man.”
It had dwindled down to just the two Miller’s, Ellie, and yourself. Everyone else was inside the cabin, tucked in and tightened down for the night.
“Come first light, we need to get out of here,” Joel mumbled as he leaned over at the waist, poking the fire with a long stick to rearrange the logs that had turned to coals before adding a few new fresh ones. He turned his head to peer over at you, then set his gaze squarely on the redheaded teen who sat across from the two of you, palms extended toward the fiery heat and her eyes studiously on the flames.
“The council isn’t gonna take long to put two ‘n two together, and I want as much distance ‘tween us when they actually do so we can just get this damn thing over with.”
Rising to his full height with a quiet groan, he didn’t even seem to register Ellie slapping her palm to her forehead and rocking her head back and forth in disbelief as he glanced down at you where you sat against a log to his left, his face twisted slightly in trepidation. “…. I didn’t mean-”
“No, I agree,” you nodded once, pulling your eyes from staring at the fire to look at Ellie in amusement before lifting them all the way up to meet his with a small smile. “Bleeding heart Miller over here probably got the town on red alert.” Bobbing your head to gesture across the flames where Tommy leaned against another fallen log beside Ellie, you grinned at Joel’s haggard sigh as he took his brother in.
Ellie turned to look at the older man with a disapproving scowl, one side of her upper lip curling back as her eyes swept him from head to toe. You could see every Joel mannerism she had picked up on as she surveyed the younger Miller, and it took everything in you not to comment on it.
Turning back to the subject at hand, you tilted your head to the side as you took in the sleeping giant.
Tommy’s legs were outstretched with one crossed over the other easily at the ankle, hands clasped loosely in his lap, and head tilted back as snores that grew with each attempt tumbled out of his lips.
“Not to mention they’ll raise the alarm when they notice Ellie and Jane’re missin’, too,” you added, watching Tommy begin to mutter softly in his sleep. You tried not to let Ellie’s wide eyes that snapped to you affect you from going on, not able to bring yourself to meet them. “Not to mention Will.” You looked up at Joel as you spoke softly, his own gaze meeting yours. “Tommy’s one thing. All four of ‘em?” You shook your head as your gaze fell back to land on Tommy. “All four of ‘em’s gonna set off all kinds of bells.”
“Not to mention a missin’ cart,” Joel grumbled, turning toward Tommy with a scowl that made the corner of your mouth tug up just slightly. You noticed in your peripherals it had Ellie grinning, too. “Which requires a horse….” He tugged off his gloves from tending the fire and tucked them into his back pocket with unneeded aggression, shaking his head. “Stealin’ all kinds ‘f’things, aren’t we, little brother?”
Joel sighed yet again, this one quieter and more to himself than anything, before taking a step over towards his sibling and kicking the bottom of his shoe with the toe of his boot. As Tommy sat up abruptly with a snort, making Ellie choke back a laugh, Joel eased to the ground beside you with a groan he tried to hide behind tightly closed lips. “Get up, mighty warrior. Get inside with the others. I’ll take first watch.”
“Wasn’t asleep,” Tommy mumbled dejectedly, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand.
Ellie scoffed. “Dude, you sounded like a buzzsaw ate a bear. You were totally one hundred percent snoring.” She got to her feet, brushing off the front of her pants, then the seat.
“You were sawing logs, cart thief. Now get.” Joel jerked his head backwards toward the cabin. “‘nd keep an eye on Trouble here.”
Ellie glared at Joel, but quickly turned her attention onto Tommy, helping him to his feet. “Come on, Uncle Tommy.”
“Told you not t’call me that, weirdo,” Tommy grumbled, blinking too many times against the firelight as his eyes still adjusted to being awake.
The teen threaded her arm through his and helped to stabilize him, starting toward the cabin. “That goes both ways, asshat.”
“Y’know what? You’re rude,” Tommy mused, pulling away just enough to look down his nose at Ellie.
“And you’re old. Now come on, cart thief.” She started to pull him back toward the cabin, looking over her shoulder and winking at you. She looked at Joel and offered a small salute before facing back forward and giving the man a tug that sent him stumbling forward slightly. “Beddy bye is just a mere few steps away.”
Tommy mumbled something nearly unintelligible, but you thought you caught the name Sarah, not missing the way Joel stiffened at the word, staring into the fire in front of him, and Ellie looking back at the two of you over her shoulder with a somewhat panicked expression.
The teen focused on Joel for a long moment, her features pulling into something sad, then determined as she looked at Tommy and finally yanked him toward the cabin, pulling him along by his ear until they were safely inside.
As Tommy slowly got to his feet and ambled toward the cabin with Ellie, you smiled, always enjoying their banter. They obviously loved each other despite how they bickered.
And whatever this Sarah talk was, clearly it was something important, but it didn’t feel like the right time to ask about it yet. Maybe someday.
Joel glanced down at his watch briefly and cleared his throat before tugging the sleeve of his jacket down to cover it. Once the material was over the broken dial, he placed his palm over the shattered face through the fabric and rubbed it gently back and forth for a moment, staring at the flames before softly shaking his head as if coming out of a fog. He lifted his hand off the watch and set it on his thigh, his fingers gripping his flesh a little too tight and dimpling the denim under his touch.
It was then you made the connection that Sarah had to do with the watch. Somehow. And you knew that had to do with home. Texas. Back on outbreak day. The thing he missed the most.
You didn’t like where this was going.
Catching Joel’s eye, you leaned back into the log once again. “Mind if I join you?”
He just blinked for a long moment, making you grin and settle back into the log even further, letting your head loll back slightly. “Let me clarify. Mind if I stay?”
Simply shaking his head after a minute, Joel turned back to the fire after staring at you for a beat too long. “Don’t mind.” He was mumbling. “You’ll probably be bored silly, but so’ll I, so, I guess that makes me selfish.”
You snorted a laugh. “No, no. It makes you human.” Turning to the flames, you felt a different heat on the side of your face as you noticed his eyes on you again out of the corner of your field of view. He stared for a moment too long to be deemed just a friendly curiosity before Joel cleared his throat, looking down at his boots before his gaze quickly pulled right back up to you, painting your skin in varying shades of heat as you felt his eyes trace over your features once again.
Something about that heat was much preferable to the little pile of coals inches from the tips of your shoes. Much more comforting, too, considering where your mind kept wandering to. “Can’t quite get to a place my mind’ll let me sleep, anyway. Not after everything….”
He nodded in understanding, and you saw his face turn back towards the embers after a last lingering moment of taking you in. The trail he had traced on your skin with just a look still felt warm and pleasant, but now began to cool under the loss of his attention. You found yourself angling slightly to lean just a bit closer to him to try and make up for it, catch just a wave of body heat. It wasn’t working.
“How’d y’learn all that?” When you arched a brow at him in question, Joel pointed back toward where everything had happened with the raider scumbag, and the general direction of Jackson.
Turning your eyes from him to the fire, you stared at the flames as they crackled. “I don’t want t’talk about it.”
“That’s fine,” he drawled softly, lowering his hand. A moment passed before an even quieter, “But that don’t come from nothin’.” He jerked his head toward the direction this time. “We’ve all got our demons. Hell, I’ve got too many t’count.” He turned back to the fire as you turned to look at him again. “N’most’ve us’ve killed our fair share. That’s just life now-”
“No,” you interrupted him, focusing back on the heat of the flames and away from the fire in his eyes as they landed on you once again. “That I’ve never done.” You waited a moment before adding a quiet, “Least not yet.”
A memory, sparkly and worn, something you’d viewed time and time again as it haunted your every quiet moment, awake or in the dead of night began to tiptoe behind your eyes.
A voice you’d rather forget drifted to the front of your mind, clearer than anything else, as if it were right in front of you yet again.
“This is just how things work now.”
Night seemed to be its favorite, though; when your defenses were at their lowest. It’d come slinking in like a thief, ready to steal your sleep, your sanity, your time….
The rest of a phantom conversation began to play in the theater of your mind, unbidden and loud, consuming anything else in front of you in favor of its wicked games once again on repeat.
“I said no.” Your voice was weaker than you ever wanted it to be as you struggled against hands that had always been helpful, but now they only sought to keep you still. Angry tears threatened to crack your resolve with every word.
The next thing you knew his gun was out of its holster and in your hand aimed at his stomach. How it got there, you still didn’t know. It must have jumped.
Telekinesis.
Something.
It’s the only thing that makes sense. Because the alternative is that you grabbed it voluntarily, and that was a road you were not willing to travel down.
A sneer of disbelief colored his face as he held his hands up in surrender, looked down to the gun, then to you, eyes narrowing as he chuckled softly in amusement.
“You wouldn’t.”
He moved toward you, whether to move the gun or move you, you didn’t know.
You’ve analyzed it over and over again for years, and this is the point where it always goes black, blissfully giving you a respite from the rest of the gory details.
The echo of the hammer on the revolver cocking back in prime to shoot echoed in your mind then just as much as it did now. You remembered how the sound filled you with a grim satisfaction, a smirk crawling up your face now that was too terrified to even try then.
Blissful darkness continued to fill the next moments as you were lost in the memory, absently staring at the fire in silence, until a resounding phantom gunshot echoed around the walls inside your head when Joel said your name, making you jump.
When he said it again, the concern swelling in his voice made your breath stutter.
Blinking the darkness away, you saw the fire once again come into focus in front of you, and out of your peripherals, Joel leaning forward beside you, tilting his head to the side in question as he tried to catch your eye. His features were drawn cautiously.
Pulling your knees up closer to your chest as a chill ran down your spine that was from anything but being cold, you gave him a sideways look before turning back to the flames. “I’m fine.” You wrapped your arms around your legs to hold them tightly to yourself.
“Y’look it,” he teased.
Cutting your eyes his way, you found Joel smirking slightly at you, but his eyes still held concern as they studied your face, then made a run up and down the length of you, pausing on your hands briefly.
That’s when you realize you’d clenched them into fists so tight, you had indentations from your nails on your palm when you released them. With a sigh, you turned your stare back to the fire. “I’m fine, Joel.” Repeating the words didn’t help for some reason, so you continued on. “I…. I’ve never killed anyone, but….” Tilting your head back and pulling your knees tighter to your chest, you looked up at the stars. “I’ve come damn close once‘r’twice. Too close.”
“You don’t have t’talk abou-”
“The first person I lived next to in a QZ,” you started, smiling gently at his attempt to give you space on the topic. “He didn’t like the…. What did y’call it? Smelly noise?”
Joel scoffed in amusement, meeting your gaze as you lowered your eyes back onto him before staring toward the fire again absently.
“Came over after about a week t’tell me so, and I guess somethin’ in the way I said hello sounded like an invitation-”
The man stiffened beside you. “Y’know that’s not-”
Reaching out, you rested your hand on his forearm. “I’m kidding, Joel. I know I didn’t do anything, the man was just a pig.” You looked at him. “But thank you, though.” Turning back to the fire to find the words again, you took a deep breath. “Long story short, he tried somethin’, told me it was just the times we live in now, so I grabbed the gun he was wearin’ and threatened to teach him how no means no.”
A snort of laughter left Joel along with a gentle shake of his head as he too stared at the flames, giving you the space to finish your story.
“He didn’t think I would do it.” You went silent. The next time you spoke, even you could barely hear your own voice. “I probably should’ve. He went on t’do it to many others after me. Joined FEDRA. Should’ve seen that one comin’.” Clearing your throat, you shook your head and went on, voice a little stronger. “I shot him in the foot. Well, first I fired a warning shot to the side. He made some stupid comment about how he likes them crazy and lunged so I….” You made a finger gun with your left hand, pointed at Joel’s foot to your right, and imitated a shooting sound. “He gave me so many nicknames after that. So colorful. You crazy bitch, and-”
“I think I can paint a pretty clear picture, no need t’go on,” Joel said softly. His voice was gruff, not towards you, but the situation you’d found yourself in and the man with no name.
You nodded. “He’s why I left. After he joined FEDRA, he made my life hell. Made sure I got less ration cards, blacklisted me, caused all sorts’f problems. So I used what I had left t’pay someone to smuggle me out’f the QZ.”
“Nothing’s happened out here?”
“You mean outside the QZ?” He nodded. “No. I mean besides some infected, but I don’t count them. They’re technically already dead; it's just the fungus at that point. If we’re splittin’ hairs.” Looking out at the tree line, you sighed forlornly. “I used t’love mushrooms.”
After a second of silence, Joel burst out laughing, a low gravelly sound rumbling from deep in his chest. It vibrated you from your spot next to him, your very bones seeming to resonate with him. He was under your skin, and that made you smile.
“Y’know,” he started after a minute. “I just heard ‘bout the most Texan come out’f your mouth in the last five minutes than the whole time I’ve known you.”
“The most….?”
“‘I’ve come damn close once‘r’twice,’” he mimicked your words from earlier, emphasizing you’re lackadaisical grammar.
“Pfffft,” you blew out a huff at him. “Did not,” you countered, pushing his shoulder slightly.
“You’re slippin’” he teased with a grin, watching the flames.
His smile was contagious. “I’m just comfortable, is all. Comfortable and tired.”
“Oh good gracious, there it is again.” He looked at you mischievously. “Tired.” He drawled the word ridiculously now.
You narrowed your eyes at him. “I do know how to shoot a gun, Joel.”
He nodded once in understanding. “Yes, ma’am.” Quickly turning his eyes back to the fire, he glanced back up at you only once briefly, the side of his mouth twitching up before his eyes fell back down to the wall of heat.
As you sat around the campfire, it had dwindled down to just the two of you. You watched him as the firelight reflected in his eyes, a small smile continuing to pull up his face as he stared into the flames.
“What?” He asked after a minute, pulling only his eyes up toward you, his head still angled down. “I got somethin’ on my face?”
You snorted. “Besides your age, which you wear brilliantly, by the way? No.”
“Ouch,” he chuckled. “Thank you? ….I think?”
Grinning, you leaned your shoulder into his before sitting back upright. “You’re welcome.” Despite having sat back how you had been, the sides of your arms now brushed one another’s, and neither of you made an effort to move.
“So.”
He finally turned his head to fully look at you. “Yeah?”
“Why are you so opposed to Ellie moving into the garage?”
He sighed, glancing over his shoulder toward the cabin before looking out across the small camp toward the tree line. “Ugh, not you, too.”
“Is there something you’re worried about, or is it just…. Puttin’ your foot down?”
Joel heaved another sigh, eyes darting back and forth along the trees as he stared at them absently. “It’s…. I don’t know.” He paused, letting out a breath before taking another deep one as he started again. “We…. We went on a really, uh, tough trip together to get here. To Jackson, I mean. All the way from Boston. It’s been a rough road for her.”
“For the both of you, it seems,” you offered quietly. He looked at you and you shrugged. “You traveled together. If it was hard for her, it was for you, too. That’s just how it goes.”
“Yeah, I….” He looked at the flames. “I guess so.” He smiled softly before it faded. “I guess I just don’t want her that far from me.” He looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers, the tips of them dancing along the band of his watch before he closed his hand around the worn fabric. “Not yet.”
“It’s five extra steps, Joel.”
“I can keep an eye on her better down the hall.”
“You walked across the country together, a few more steps won’t break you.”
“You don’t know that,” he objected quickly, somewhat defensively, meeting your eyes again with his own as a dry chuckle painted the last of his words.
Smiling softly, you leaned further into his side slowly as you looked into the dwindling flames. “No, you’re right. I don’t.” He began to relax, his shoulders rolling forward as his weight slightly melted into you, staring at the flames once again himself. “But I’d like to think I’ve come to know you.”
Joel froze, his body tense once again as he listened to you go on.
Looking up at him through your lashes, you saw the firelight dancing across his face, sending him into all kinds of shadows. It could have been a trick of the light, but he looked almost nervous? His eyes were definitely apprehensive, and once you noticed that, you lowered your gaze down to his lap where his hand was once again digging into the fabric of his jeans.
“I don’t know what or who happened to you, and I’m not asking for details, that’s up to you. What I am saying is….” reaching up and across, you rested your left hand on his left forearm where it continued to press into yours with each deeper breath either of you dared to take. A small smile worked its way up your features as you saw his hand relax and unclench against the denim, his palm coming to rest on your knee instead. “You’re on a supply run for a teenaged girl to get paint. And to me?”
You turned just enough to catch his eye, finding his gaze already on you. When you realized that, you had to really think to remember what you wanted to say, swallowing roughly to remember how words worked as your eyes flicked between his own, your voice now something incredibly soft. “To me that paints a beautiful picture.”
Joel scoffed, his eyes studying your face for a long moment before he turned back to the fire that was now mostly coals, and started laughing. The sound started quiet but grew with each new round until it was a truly ruckus thing. “That…. was truly awful. And you say my puns are bad.”
You grinned as you sat back upright, pulling your knees tighter to your chest so you could rest your chin on them. He kept his palm on your leg, letting it ride just a bit above your knee and squeezed. “I have a bad influence. My roommates? Awful. All the time. Horrible, horrible puns.”
“Oh, really?” He arched a brow at you, giving your leg still in his grip a small teasing shake.
With a sigh, you tilted your head to the side to rest on the backs of your hands on your knees, studying him and trying to keep the damn smile off your face. “Yeah, they think they are so funny, but it’s really sad.”
He tilted his head back, looking down his nose at you in amusement. “Well, maybe you should teach them a thing or two.”
You grinned. It was inevitable. “Yeah. Maybe I will.”
Xxx
Tags to come!
#the last of us#joel miller imagine#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller reader insert#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller fluff#joel miller fanfic#tlou fic#tlou fluff#tlou imagine#tlou reader insert#joel miller comfort#joel miller angst#the last of us reader insert#the last of us imagine#the last of us x reader#the last of us x you#the last of us x y/n#tommy miller#ellie williams#dina the last of us
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Pegging Tokyo Revengers men - part 1
A/N: Tell me which characters to do next^^
Fem!Reader
Taiju:
suggests it but is embarrassed
listen, his friends had to convince him to finally ask you
he´s been curious about anaorgasms for so long now but was scared of being judged for a long time
his friends are super open about their own lives in the bedroom and ever since then he wanted to try it too
super relieved when you agree to it
baby boy really thought you were gonna call him weird for his desires
he´s really nervous about it once you´re actually getting the stuff ready
does too much research beforehand and just looks at it from a completely theoretical standpoint which makes him even more anxious
you pick him up from work and immediately get to the bedroom, slowly undressing him, feeling him up, making him feel so wanted
he´s relieved when you calm him down like this, getting him to focus only on you
he´s so sensitive from just foreplay alone but you take your time with it, making sure he´s ready
the dildo you prepared isn´t as big as his own cock, just the right size to start with, you let him lube it up himself for some control
you sit on the edge of bed, right in front of the mirror he loves to use so much, it´s fun to switch roles, now you´re the one showing him how hot he looks
you help him in taking it all in nice and slow, him sitting on top of you, legs spread and your hand on his stomach possessively, cradling him like a good boy
he´s so overwhelmed by the whole situation and all these new feelings, he didn´t know he could feel any more pleasure with you but you always knew how to surprise him
he grips onto the sheets as you hold his head, making him look at all the cute expressions he makes, fucking up into him slowly but deeply, making him actually moan for once
when he´s close you let him touch yourself, your own hand over his, getting him to finish together
such a baby at aftercare, he´s usually not that cuddly or needy but you´re not complaining
you´ve never seen him so blissfully fucked out, it´s adorable really
Mucho:
already has multiple toys prepared
this is nothing new for you two
you two have been dating since you were teenagers so you know each other in and out, you´ve done about everything in the book
you went through every awkward phase together, you know each other better than anyone else in the world, probably because you´ve seen each other at your worst and best, have been there for each other for every step of the way, for every mistake, for every success
for every awkward sexual encounter because things didn´t work out as you thought or just simply weren´t it for you two
it started out that way with pegging as well
you tried it relatively early in your relationship when you were still horny teenagers who didn´t do much else but fuck
needless to say you didn´t do any research, just watched some porn together and tried it immediately after it
you were too hasty with it and he was too impatient, in the end it ended up hurting more and you just stopped there and didn´t try it again for a few years after that
it´s his birthday when you decide to surprise him with it, you know that he still wants to try it but both of you were too embarrassed and honestly too stubborn to actually bring it up
you most of all because you pride just got in the way, you were so young back then and thought you knew everything
now that you were older and more mature you could finally use your pride for good things, researching on your own and buying a bunch of toys, maybe a few too many for the start but you had a hunch you´d need them eventually
Mucho loves being spoiled on his birthday so he´s already looking forward to it, expecting a rougher session, the ones he likes the most, where you completely wreck him
but he didn´t expect it to start out so slow, he liked the presents you got him but said he wanted to wait a bit before trying out the bigger things
but he did agree to letting you finger him, a great success for you
you have him on his fours, his favorite position after he found out just how much he enjoyed getting spanked
you start circling his hole, gently probing it and preparing him gently
once he´s loosened up a bit you start using a finger vibrator you´ve bought him
it´s been a while since you´ve seen him so relaxed, your sex life never is boring but sometimes you can get a bit self conscious so you´re happy he likes it
you´re edging him, making him whine for you, grinding against the sheets but you don´t let him cum, not until he´s crying from overstimulation
needless to say you two are too impatient to stop there and end up using all of the toys you bought, Mucho can´t move the next day but it´s worth it because he never felt that good
South:
brat
he is obnoxious and so so overconfident, it´s just annoying
your relationship is weird enough as it is, you don´t even remember when and how it started
South and you kind of always were in each other´s lives, and he was always annoying you
he´s always had a crush on you and those feelings didn´t change over time, the second he saw you he asked you out
after rejection after rejection he bothered you so much that you said yes to one date
said date was awful, he took you to a restaurant that was too fancy to enjoy and didn´t know what else to do after that so he just called you a taxi and called it a night
he thinks his reputation, looks and strength will get him anywhere because that´s how it´s always been
that´s why it irritates him so much that you don´t like him
one day he just shows up at your door and asks you to tell him your life story, saying he can´t get you out of his head, that he realized he genuinely wants to know you
you spend the whole night talking and watching stupid movies he enjoys (70s martial arts movies from all countries)
that´s when you finally figure him out, yeah he´s an adrenaline junkie but he´s also just a big puppy who gets excited over everything, it´s kind of cute
you start casually dating after that, it´s more like deepening your friendship but with making out
sex doesn´t come until way later but you don´t mind
South has opened up to you about his issues with his confidence, performance anxiety and most of all he trusted you enough to tell you about his biggest insecurity, his small dick (will do a seperate hc post for that)
you´re the first person he ever trusted on such a level, on a level where he could be intimate without feeling and thinking too much, without the fear and the shame
because he´s not the most sexually active person out there it´s very awkward at first, he´s just not good at sex but his pride won´t let himself admit that
you´re the first woman that doesn´t laugh at him and that doesn´t leave halfway through
you´re so patient with him even though he´s so stubborn
you always guide him when having sex and even though he hates the aspect of losing control he´s okay with it after realizing what sort of expressions and sounds he could make you make if he does exactly what you tell him to
in a way you´re at fault for making him even more confident
you don´t mind at first but it gets obnoxious when he starts boasting about his skills when you haven´t even done that much yet
the worst thing is that he can´t eat pussy to save his life, it´s infuriating you
one day you just have enough and tell him you could do a better job eating him out than he you
he just laughs at you because he doesn´t believe that he´ll even feel anything, he never thought about trying anything anal related, thinking it´ll just hurt
but he does let you try, just because he thinks you´ll fail anyway and that way he won´t have to eat you out anymore (he thinks it´s a drag because his tongue gets tired and you don´t give him any reactions so he knows he´s not doing a good job and that kind of crushes him but yeah he doesn´t talk about that because that would mean admitting he´s not the perfect specimen)
he´s so squirmish and embarrassed when he´s laying down and you´re between his legs, he tries to cross them the whole time but you pull them apart and keep them in place over your shoulders
you keep eye contact the whole time you´re kissing along his inner thighs, gently nibbing and licking, praying he´s taking mental notes
he hates to admit it but South loves seeing that intense stare of yours
blushes so hard when he feels your tongue, tries to cover his face and after considering it you let him because you know how hard this is for him already
he closes his eyes and just focuses on your tongue, on what you´re doing, how you´re moving and he fucking whines
he had no idea something so simple could be so enjoyable, no wonder you crave it so much
from now on he wants to try his best to be a better lover for you
definitely more submissive now, not as much of a slut as Mucho but he does have his moods
loves preparing himself for you, he has a big collection of plugs now, gets off on you using a strap bigger than his cock
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers taiju#tokyo revengers imagines#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo revengers fanfiction#tokyo revengers fluff#tokyo revengers fic#tokyo revengers drabbles#tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers hcs#tokyo revengers south#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers x you#tokyo revengers mucho#tokrev#tokrev taiju#tokrev imagines#tokrev smut#tokrev drabbles#tokrev fluff#tokrev fanfic#tokrev headcanons#tokrev south#tokrev hcs#tokrev x reader#tokrev x y/n#tokrev x you#tokrev mucho#taiju#taiju shiba
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*grabs you by the arms, and by you I also mean me*
Listen to me. You have to allow yourself to indulge in things that are currently popular. You have to allow yourself to make and wear things that are going to age with time and mark a certain point in your life. You are not losing your individuality by watching a popular movie or show. There will never be anyone quite like you, and all you're doing is allowing yourself to live in the moment and have some fun.
Never stop questioning things, though. Never JUST go with the flow because that's what others like and you can tolerate it at best. You know what you like better than anyone else, and you should never let external factors pressure you into doing anything! Just don't lose yourself in the isolating corners of "uniqueness". It can be such a lonely place to be in... Even long term as you look back on memories. Having something be dated is fun and something to laugh about.
You're not just another grain of sand for enjoying yourself
#a reminder for myself... because i have a knack for being isolated and lonely on levels beyond my own comprehension#and the way i've been viewing 'individuality' as of late is just... not healthy. and overly judgemental.#I do still wish people were more driven by their own interests regardless of external expectations or... whatever sells better#but judging someone else's fun just isn't right i think. and i really need to focus more on fun and love again#rather than everything that irks me.#talkies#live a little. so you don't have to be scared anymore for when it ends#ramble#long post#i guess
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................. not to rain down on anyone's parade but barely characterized 14 year old lucerys could never have the swag eleanor or henry had
#1#2#3#4#5#again you do you per carità i'm not here to judge anyone's taste because then i'd be a fucking hypocrite#but this still made me laugh#maybe because i never really understood the hype around luke/aemond. i mean i get it on a intellectual level#but there are so many juicier pairs in hotd that while i understand why people would ship it i'm not sure why it's so popular#no hate to the pairing or anything of course. you can ship whatever you want!#but this reeks of the usual inflated m/m ship with one (or two) fictional men with weak or barely acknowledged characterizations#while incredibly complex female characters (at least in comparison) are JUST THERE#again this is not a hate post about the ship or slash pairings (OBVIOUSLY!!)#but still. in any case the eleanor/henry dynamic fits better with rhaenicent or maybe daemyra tbh#like... even when i love a ship with all my heart i wouldn't assign *every* possible au to them but only those who fit their characters bes#if my otp is a etl ship i wouldn't want to read or write a childhood friends to lovers au because what i like about them#is that they fucking hate each other's guts and perpetually try to kill the other (before falling in love... and sometimes even after)#if a pairing is more p&p like i really couldn't get into a wuthering heights au even if i'd recognize it's magnificently written#because that's not what these characters and their dynamic are. it would be projection#at this point i would prefer to read/write about two ocs ngl#again in fandom you can do whatever you want i'm no one and i could never tell you what you can or can't like. that'd be ridiculous#and idw the op of that post to feel bad about it. it's just my personal preference/opinion on fanworks that's all#val speaks#val rambles in the tags#txt
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Me: man i need to catch up on my crossposting to other sites, let's post my pmd h/p pairs in order
Me immediately: .... i gotta rewrite nuri's deal
#its not vibing with me as much now sorry.i love her not being a great person and being partly responsible for the meteor in the first place#and having to become a better person like gengar had to. but i also wanna tone it down#i was talking abt this with eve but its mostly bc i feel like too many of my heroes don't cope with being a pokemon well#rin is the only one who feels euphoric at the transformation#everyone else is afraid or insecure. and thats mostly bc i love playing with body horror and getting a new body without consent#something something dysphoria#but i dont want that to be the case for most of my heroes. and i feel like the one story i should look into changing is nuri's#because like pmd1 hero canonically loves their pokemon body judging by that one scene near the beginning#but as of rn the ones who love it are just rin and skylar. and kinda kit but its a different case really bc its a reincarnation#i think kit feels some dissonance between their human instincts and pokemon body but ultimately prefers being a pokemon though#they just feel guilty or out of place. the weirdness of the situation is more of the issue for them#also tbh i think nuri's a little toooo much of an asshole in her story. like i still want her to have a redemption of sorts#but i might move most of her traits towards finn in starfall and give her a new thing#i just dunno what for now....#echoed voice
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