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#and im definitely getting this memory a bit scrambled . but
thefunniestguy · 1 year
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I tjink ,,, Noise and Echo's [Pandora Hearts] names alone are ,, soooo cool to their characters ,,,,,,,, do I get their characters entirely ? Probably not . Do I get it enough to OIGJGJRHUDBWBWBBENFIRUEJ ? YEAH .
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sh1-n0bu · 5 days
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♡︎ 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙮 𝙥𝙩2 ♡︎
characters: sub!dragons x nb!dom!reader
warnings: finger in vent again so vent fingering, established relationship, monster anatomy, clothes and undergarment stealing, clothes sniffing, the dragons are being a bit more feral, pillow humping, praise, pleading, thigh riding, guided vent fingering, squirting, nipple stimulation, bullet vibrator usage, mind break, fluff, needy dragon boys hehehehhehe
notes: due to popular demand, here is part 2 of dragons getting fucked dumb(●’◡’●)ノ im sorry if it took a while. i was having some health issues(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`) part 1 can be read here!! gradient divider from @/benkeibear
word count: 4.9k
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ever since you helped out your large lizard lover with his heat, there’s only been one thing on his mind since then. your finger in his vent. the soft coos of your praises, the way you pushed his legs open to fuck him dumber, the way you nudged his hands off of his face so you could see his cute face twist and turn in pleasure as you fuck his hole.
“oh, for fuck’s sake! i need to get them out of my head” the dragon huffs aloud out of a sudden, hunching over his desk at his usual office as he hides the flush of his cheeks behind his hands. already a week has passed since the ending of his heat cycle and yet he was acting like he was still under the influence of his stupid dragon anatomy. he couldn’t even stop thinking about you and your fingers spreading him open while he cried dumbly on the bed, back arching and chasing after your fingers like a whore.
it was after his heat ended and finally able to at least articulate proper sentences that wasn’t about wanting you to wreck him, that the two of you have talked over and decided that perhaps it was time to make your relationship official. how long have the two of you been dancing around each other, making everyone roll their eyes at the way you two flirted with each other like some dumb teenagers? enough to the point people started making bets. enough that a half of the city had become 50 bucks richer and the other half poorer.
despite having already gotten into an established relationship with you, the poor dragon still felt shameful over some of his actions. such as stealing your clothes whenever you come over to his house to stay the night and lying to your face about not knowing where it was. you two were still basically in the baby stages of being an official couple which was why you needed some time to fully move your things into his house and to start living together. it takes time to settle y’know?
so it was definitely weird when some of your clothes started to disappear. the shirt that you usually wear when at the comfort of your or his home. the large, oversized sweater of yours that you have given the nickname of “the ugly one”. and strangely, you even had a hard time finding a certain undergarment amongst the mess of your home and the boxes of things that you packed up, preparing to move. strange. and even more strange, your overgrown lizard lover says he hasn’t seen them in his own home either. you genuinely started to question your own memory.
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in the meantime you were busy creating a storm in your home trying to triple check this week about your missing clothes, your boyfriend was having a hard time in his office. no matter how hard he tried to focus on the paperwork stacked in front of his damn face, he just couldn’t.
instead, his mind just kept drifting back to the memory of you helping him during his heat cycle. the praises that constantly fell on his ears as his toes curled, clawed hands scrambling to grasp for something to clutch onto because he was sure that he ascended when your finger fucked the small opening of his vent. and that lewd squelching noises of his slick dripping down from his vent. an oddly sickeningly sweet smelling scent coming from him as if trying to woo you, trails of his juice dripping from his vent down to his fluttering hole to the bed.
he was fucked dumb during those days and by the stars, he wanted it again. he wanted your hand fisting at his cocks, eagerly tugging on them as your finger abuses the squishy spot inside him. he wanted to sob and wail deliriously, bucking his hips, torn between wanting to chase after the pleasure or tearing himself away to save what leftover pride he had, as he begs for mercy. he wanted it. at this rate, if he kept thinking back on that moment, he might as well try to force his body into another heat cycle so soon.
shaking the imagery out of his head, the dragon clears his throat. looking around his office to see if anyone is around — to his luck, no one was — before breathing out a heavy huff. he might as well try to at least do his work during work time.
“maybe that chipmunk’s affinity to skip work is rubbing off on me…”
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perhaps even more had rubbed off on him. none which was a good thing.
“i’m sorry… i’m sorry i’m sorry ‘m sorry, [name]…” the dragon whines pathetically, wearing the oversized sweater he stole from you and nothing else. he just couldn’t get that memory out of his head. every time he tried, something small and insignificant would just remind him of it again. unable to keep up with trying to seem all professional, he rushed home straight after work — perhaps even earlier than the hours he gets out of his office — locking himself in his bedroom with a pillow between his thighs, wearing your sweater with your stolen undergarments to his face.
despite having already been fucked shamelessly just ten or so days ago, it still felt wrong to think of you in such a lewd way. in such a defiling way. in a way that it served as a huge disservice to who you really are.
“mmnngh—! [naamee]… m-miss you… missing you so bad…” the dragon whines, completely pent up as his slick continues to drip onto the pillow between his thighs, the outer scales of his vent already puffy and open slightly, weeping his mouthwatering juice. the poor thing was pathetic, trying to recreate the way you wrecked him so good. fingers messily rubbing and flicking against his vent opening as a means to mimic the way you ate him out the other day. spreading his slick around, making a stretching motion with his two fingers on the sides of his vent, flicking the small nub on top. it didn’t help. if anything, it only made it worse.
the dragon was trying to help himself out, to relieve himself off of his pain of unknowingly edging himself for the past few days. without you by his side to help him out or to hear his pleas. without you by his side to fuck him so good again. palming himself with a pathetic whimper, the dragon thinks about slipping a finger inside his vent the same way you did. but could he do it? probably not. he was just too damn of a coward, and there was the looming possibility of losing control of himself and letting his claws grow.
unable to do it in the end, he settles on merely stroking his cock. hand wrapped tightly around his weeping dick, your stolen undergarments wrapped around one of his cocks as he mewls, bucking his hips into the tight space of his closed fist. it was nowhere near to how it felt when you did it. perhaps at the time, it was his heat pheromones working but it felt good. your hand wrapped around his cock as your other hand fingers his vent opening. your hand felt so much better.
biting down on his lips, he cums into his hand, soiling your stolen undergarments as well in the process just the moment he thought back on the feeling. pouting, the dragon’s tail flicks in annoyance behind him, looking over at the clock hanging on the wall.
12:36. were you awake right now? you did indeed had tendency to stay awake a bit too late on some nights…
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knock knock knock!
the soft yet annoyingly persistent knocks on your door slowly rouses you from your sleep, making you roll around in the comfort of your bed in a silent declaration of war against the knocking. acting stubborn, clinging onto the cozy warmth of your bed, you groan as a string of curses falls from your lips as you involuntarily drag yourself out of bed. whoever that was outside your door in this ungodly hour shall face your wrath like sun wukong did with buddha.
pitter pattering to the door — where the knocking has become more persistent — you swing the door open, ready to curse the person and their 109 bloodlines before shutting up. standing in front of you with his tail and horns out in the open, slitted eyes glowing slightly, was your dragon lover. strange. he never visits this late.
“dear? wha— what happened? is everything alright? it’s—“ you take a moment to steal a glance towards the clock hanging on the living room wall before turning to face him again, “—nearly 2am” you finish, concern growing more and more when his tail comes to curl around his own ankle. a clear sign that he was feeling anxious or uncomfortable.
“can i… come in? i wanted to see you” the dragon asks in a meek voice, a strange habit that you found concerning and heartbreaking to see since your lover was usually one who is calm and collected at all times. nodding, you usher him inside before locking the door behind you.
quietly, you follow him as your lover makes a straight beeline into your bedroom, making himself comfortable on the edge of your bed as a pink flush starts to grow on his cute cheeks. you were about to ask him if he wanted something to eat or drink but perhaps not as the needy dragon was now staring at you as his tail swishes behind him, impatient. tails expressed emotions after all.
yawning, you move to sit beside him on the bed, to which you accept his hug when you finally settle down. his arms cones to wrap around your middle, tail now calming down from the earlier fussy movement as it curls around your calf possessively. humming, you run a hand through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp.
the dragon loved it whenever you read him like he was an open book. to others, he was a stone wall, one that was made out of ancient scribbles and unintelligible runes. a warrior forged by blood and scent of death, one who was born and made by the cries of war and blind devotion from others. but to you, he was just a fellow being. one who was lonely from the many centuries he had spent, all by himself. struggling with the many different cultures of life, trying his best to learn and understand the human customs so he could properly court you in human traditions.
you two stay like that for some time. nestled against one another, just basking in the comfort of the peaceful life that you two found between yourselves.
“[name]…” the dragon whimpers from the crook of your neck, soft rumbling purrs mixing with his whining of your name. it was enough to snap you out of your sleepy state, making you hum as you acknowledge his call. he got your attention now. but the main point of hesitancy was — could he do it? could he be so shameful as to not only disturb your night of peace but to also be selfish to want you to pleasure him the same way you did a few days ago?
hearing the familiar noise of his tail hitting the bed constantly in a sense of irritation, you coo his name softly. one hand messing with the long strands of his hair while the other runs through his scalp.
“what’s on your mind now, my pretty?” you ask, taking a look at his face when it comes out of its hiding place in the crook of your neck. he seemed to be conflicted. brows furrowed, slitted eyes glowing slightly in the dark room while his lips tug in a small pout. laughing at the oddly adorable expression, you kiss his brows and pouty lips, making his purrs become louder. such a needy dragon.
“i’ve… been thinking,” the dragon starts after a while, taking his time to try and articulate his request and to convey his feelings that has been bothering him lately. a lot more than he initially thought they would.
“about how you helped me while i was in heat” he takes a moment, watching your expression closely to see if you caught the gist of what he was trying to say. you did, of course you did, you were a smart human after all. his smart human.
“and i was wondering if you could do it again…?” he finally manages to bring himself to ask, peering up at you through his lashes bashfully. how could you ever say no to such a face? such an ethereal and cute begging face alongside the promise of seeing his expression twist into one of someone who’s just fucked stupid. the cute face of your dragon lover drooling and sobbing fat tears while his heart shaped pupils stare at you in a silent plea for more. that face haunted your mind for too damn long, causing unnecessary moments of dozing off while remembering about the moment you slipped your finger inside, making your already horrible work ethnic drop to below ground level.
“sure. i wouldn’t mind it, pretty” you hum, any ounce of sleep leaving your body as you move to a more comfortable position on the bed. pushing yourself to lean against the headboard of the bed, you watch as your draconic lover takes his place on your lap. clawed hands coming to fist at the material of your pajama shirt, whining your name as he pushes himself flush against your chest. you could feel the mounds of his chest pressing against your own, his tail swishing behind him as he arches his back. your lips is pulled against his own, a small peck easily turning into a heated, messy make out. his forked tongue shyly licking at your lips, purring contently as his long tongue slithers inside you, exploring every nook and cranny needily.
you could feel his hips humping your thigh, the wetness of his vent weeping his precum already starting to stain his pajama pants and seeping into your own. you could tell he was too aroused, dumbly chasing after any ounce of pleasure there could be. you could feel the way your mixed saliva dripped down from your sloppy open mouthed kisses, his hands guiding yours to rest on his hips. a position you used to your advantage as your hands traveled downwards to knead his ass, squeezing the soft fat as he whimpers into the kiss.
the poor thing was so pent up, humping your thighs didn’t felt enough. it wasn’t enough to get him to that familiar feeling of high, that exhilarating feeling of feeling your fingers stretch his vent open while he could only keen like a whore.
“want it… want it so bad…” he mumbles into the kiss, guiding your hands to the hem of his pajama pants, tugging on them fervently to get the clothes off. you simply chuckle, finding his desperation adorable in more ways than one before finally relenting and slipping off his pants before he let out an annoyed hiss, pulling away from the sloppy make out session to tear off his underwear with his claws.
“darling! why would you rip it off?” you ask, amused by his eagerness but also slightly concerned for the way he just easily ripped off his clothes like that. you have never seen him get even the tiniest bit ticked off after all, so this was a new side of him that you were seeing.
“wanted more” he only huffs, demanding more kisses as he returns to shove his forked tongue down your throat. the length of his tongue got you groaning and panting, finding it harder to breathe as he becomes more needy with every kiss, with every sloppy slurp of your tongue against his own.
“mmnhp—! [nameee]♡︎” he let out a yelp, pulling away from the kiss to whine out your name as he felt your fingers knead his vent open. the poor dragon whined, huffing and puffing about how you were being so mean to him as he humps your thigh, the tips of his cocks slowly emerging from the scaled vent, both of his cocks weeping pre all over your clothes as his vent drips with his own arousal.
shifting him around, you let him lean his back onto your chest, hands hooking under his legs to spread them open. your dragon let out a little hiss, talking about how you weren’t paying attention to him. you simply shush his hissy fit with a chuckle, placing a kiss on his forehead. taking his hand, you tell him to withdraw his claws. an action he does with confusion before he let out a whimper when you guide his hand to his vent.
“b-but… i-i don’t think i can do it. i’m nervous!” he says in a panicked tone, turning his head to stare at you with cute pouty lips and wide eyes.
“yes, you can. i’ll guide you through it all, okay? it’ll feel good, promise darling” you say, peppering his face in kisses to soothe his worries. the dragon preens at that, his purrs getting louder as his tail whacks the mattress of your bed impatiently. once you get the hint that he was ready and he was okay with continuing, you guide his fingers to tease the edges of his vent. fingers rubbing the soft scales, making a spreading motion to ease the muscles there.
just some foreplay and he was already panting, legs twitching to close them. he was so cute.
“that’s it pretty, now keep your legs open for me” you continue to praise him through it all, your other hand leaving his leg to slip underneath his shirt. squeezing his chest, rubbing your thumb over his areola, you pinch at his nipple when it hardens, causing him to jolt in your embrace. whispering more praises of how he was doing so well, how he was your pretty boy, your beloved dragon, your hand guides his own to slip a finger inside his now loose vent.
“u-uunngh!! mmghh… mnngh… t-tight♡︎ too tight! w-won’t fit…♡︎!” he blabbers, throwing his head back on your shoulder as you slowly ease his finger deeper inside his vent. first, second knuckle until his middle finger was slipped deep inside the tight hole of his opening, legs shaking on the bed already like a fawn’s. there were already tears starting to form in his eyes, jaw slack open as heavy breaths fall. not a single thought behind his teary eyes. nothing but the pleasure your guidance and his fingers were bringing him.
“that’s it… that’s my pretty dragon, keep going” you coo out, pleased by how easily he broke under a simple pleasure of fingering his own vent. when he pathetically humps the air — finger still inside — you pull on his nipple to remind him how to do it. squealing at the amount of pleasure coming from both his nipples and vent, the dragon shakes his head, fat globs of tears already falling.
“c-can’t! can’t do it. [n-name] i need you♡︎♡︎ need your fingers so bad♡︎!“ he stutters, legs already shaking, about to close shut. too caught up in his own pleasure that he doesn’t even know what to do to properly pleasure himself even when you were here to guide him through it. clicking your tongue, you guide his hand to pull his finger out, something he couldn’t even perform without your help. he really was a goner with you.
“then, be a sweetheart and play with your tits for me, pretty. wanna see your cute breasts jiggle while i fuck you” you tell him, watching with endearment as he nods dumbly. hands coming up to push his shirt up, fingers twisting and pinching at his own hardened nipples. stuttered breaths fall from his lips when he could feel your thumb swipe at the slit of one of his cocks, jolting in place when you give his weeping cock a few pumps. the few visible veins in them were bulging, ready to pop and for him to squirt yet again if you just stop teasing him around!
but doing the same thing over and over again sounded boring to you. your sweet dragon deserved some treats for being such a good boy after all. he deserved some pampering.
“ah! gimme a second, darling” you snap your fingers, an idea forming in your head. he lets out a soft confused hum at that, hands still holding onto the soft mounds of his chest as he watches you move away to reach over to your bedside nightstand. opening the top drawer, he watches in curiosity as you bring out an odd small device that was connected to a small remote control by quite the lengthy wire. the color all cute pink, the toy small and nearly the size of a small hairclip but pretty girthy in width. were you… thinking on putting that inside him?
“it’s called a bullet vibrator. apparently, it’s supposed to add vibrations to any place of your choosing. and since i found out of your soft spot, i thought maybe we could try it out?” you explain to him, slowly unwrapping the long wire of the toy. it was quite lengthy. perfect to use it for his soft spot.
“only if you’re comfortable with it, dear. i wouldn’t want you to try anything you think you’re not ready for or feel comfortable with” you quickly say, ready to throw the toy away for another time when you feel the grip of his tail around your ankle. the soft smooth scales creating a soft, bristling sensation on your bare skin. if he could remember carefully, the most he took in his vent were two fingers. but it proved that his vent could be quite stretchy and take something more if given enough foreplay and gentle ministrations.
“i… i don’t think i would mind it. it sounds kind of fun, actually” he says after a moment of thinking on the matter, accepting the fact that yes, he can take it. he wanted to try these new feelings and challenges with you. everything would be right when with you.
“i would love to try this new toy” he finally comes to a conclusion, turning his head so he could place kisses on your neck and cheeks, purring in happiness when he could hear you chuckling. you should laugh more. the dragon loved the sound of your laughter — like soft bells chiming in the morning.
patting his thigh to tell him to open up his legs further, it was now your turn to plant kisses on his neck. you couldn’t exactly bite his shoulders as he still had his pajama shirt on, but you can take care of it tomorrow morning. so, you settle on peppering kisses on his neck, the faint scales that were around his artery, giving it a light suckle to which you got a breathy moan for. all the while you allow his vent to get used to the feeling of the toy, the material of it and its size, simply rubbing it over the soft outer scales.
“gonna push it in, okay pretty?” you whisper in his ear, to which he whimpered and nodded, one of his hands leaving his chest to intertwine his hand with yours. so cute. you can only hope he won’t crush your hand accidentally.
ever so softly, whispering praises to how good he was taking the toy into the shell of his ear, you take in the delicious noises he makes with a great amount of pride. the great and only dragon who could wipe out an entire nation off of the face of the earth, choosing you as his mate and bonding with you. having his faith in you that you would take good care of him and his pleasures. it was a heavy emotion and one that comes with responsibility to a certain degree and you would always be sure to handle the heart of his that he willingly gave you, with tenderness of a first snow.
“aaah mmggh—! uungh♡︎ it’s in! i-it’s aaaanhg♡︎♡︎ hummg♥︎ inside... it’s insiiiecckk—♡︎♥︎!!” your dragon squeals, hips thrusting back and forth into the air as he feels the soft round edge of the toy pressed against the soft spongy spot inside his vent. it felt foreign to have something other than your hand touch him there, perhaps even disrespectful since it was supposed to be the only soft spot that only you must have the privilege to know and touch! but for the sake of this new level of pleasure that you promised, he swallowed his hissy fits, instead replacing them with a whiny soft moan.
“i know, pretty. i know. deep breaths for me, pretty” you murmur, giving soft squeezes to his hand that was tightly holding your own. his tail starting to wrap around your ankle and up your calf further with the fluffy haired end wagging in the air playfully around your knees. you let him get used to the feeling of the toy first. gently rubbing it back and forth on his spongy spot, hearing the way his breathing picks up pace as he throws his head onto your shoulder.
“gonna turn it on now, pretty” you warn him, keeping a close eye on the way his expression shifts. if he shows the slightest bit of pain, uncomfortable feelings or signs of discomfort, you were going to ditch the idea. a moment of pleasure is not worth loosing your comfort over, after all. thankfully, he was reacting well to the new intrusion. only positive notes of his pleasured noises and star crossed eyes. you say it to him again, this time just a bit louder with a squeeze to his hand in case he was starting to lose himself. that seemed to snap him out of his trance. just enough to nod his head to you.
“o-okay… okayhhh i understaaaNGGHH!! [n-name]♥︎♥︎[namenamenamenam]—♥︎♥︎ h-haaangh mmhg s-shoo much♡︎ f-feelsh too much♡︎♥︎!!” just a single switch to the lowest level of the vibrator and he was already shrieking, sobbing and thrashing about on the bed. legs shutting around your hand instinctively, salty globs of tears falling as he goes slack jawed. his entire body shakes as he squirts into his stomach, but this time, he squirted from both of his cocks at the same time. the pretty pink tips weakly letting out a few more drops before he was fully hard on both cocks again.
all the while, you watched with an ever growing jubilation as your lover is reduced to this mess on your lap. legs shaking like a newborn fawn’s, cheeks and pointy ears a lovely shade of red as his jaw hangs slack open. every now and then, he would go quiet, arch his back off of you before a loud shriek would follow as the vibrator hits just right. you could see hearts in his eyes, completely docile as his pupils grow wide, so much so you could barely see the glow of his eye color.
so pathetically cute as he mewls your name in a slurred gibberish, repeating it over and over like a broken record. a broken recording that only had one word and is stuck in an eternal loop to say that recording. the most prettiest one. one that you wanted to be selfish and hear all day, everyday.
“u-uuuugckk! aaaanhg gyanh!! mrrrph— luv you♡︎ luvyouluvyouluvyous’much♥︎! luv yoouugh [n-naamee], luv you sho muchhh♡︎♡︎ f-fuUUNGK—♥︎♥︎” he trashes about on the bed, constant declaration of love falling from his lips, kicking his legs at the blanket as he sobs deliriously until he squirts yet again. his own cum splattering over to his chest, soiling his shirt and wetting his still hard pink nipples. you give one of them a pinch, delighted as he mewls in a hoarse voice. pinching and tugging on the cute nub, rubbing the still vibrating toy around his spongy spot, you watch in sheer adoration and obsession as he shoots blanks.
turning off the toy, you coax his legs open so you could move your hand and slip the toy out of his vent. when the girth of the toy slowly slips out of his abused now puffy vent, your dragon lets out a sob as his hips jolt violently. you could see his juices dripping out of his fluttering vent, wanting to finger it back inside him but knowing that it would push him way too far over his limits.
“shh shh, there there, pretty. i got you. you did so amazing” you whisper, wrapping your arms around his middle to pull him flush against yourself. wiping away his tears and drool, you places butterfly kisses over his face as you ground him back to his mind. he was far too gone and he hated having baths when he was way too lost in his subspace. if he isn’t responsive enough when bathing together, he will throw yet another hissy fit.
“mmmgh… tired…” you could hear him croak out after a long time of rocking him in your arms. he was slowly coming back which meant it was time for a bath. but until he fully regains his mind, it was better to cuddle him close as his tail has a mind of its own and has yet to let go of your ankle. at all.
smooch! maybe another kiss to his pink cheeks would help him ground himself faster.
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deathmetalunicorn1 · 9 months
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HEY IM SO GLAD THAT YOURE BACK
My favorite person I missed you!
I sould like to ask for a little recanation reader with ror pls!
While bruhilda is summoning hero's to fight for humanity she wanted to see if she could speak to Nyx the goddess of night and the only god that zeus truely fears and even Odin has reasons to be wary of her.
But turns out that the queen of the night had fallen in battle and has gone through recanation and now lives as a human teacher living in texas (like me in the future!)
Bruhilda had no idea about this when she summon nyxs recantations and was surprised when she was greeted by the sight of a human woman who was trying to grade her 3 grade class test from last friday.
Hijinks and whimsy ensue as nyx reader has memories reawaken during her time in Valhalla( its magic anything can happen) and regains old and new friends during her time there (and maybe love?!)
Can i also ask for her taking place in adams when fighting Zeus to show the old man what happens when you fuck around and you'll most definitely find out?
-Brunnhilde was desperate, she needed a wild card fighter, a true wild card fighter, one that could shake the gods to their core with power.
-A lightbulb seemed to go off in her head as she made the realization that only a god could do that to another god, but she had pissed off about every single god in Valhalla when she proposed Ragnarok, so there weren’t any gods that she could easily approach to ask.
-A soft gasp escaped her lips as she remembered someone, someone who had been lost long ago, in a terrible battle, the goddess Nyx, who could make the earth tremble, the sky shake, and even bring Zeus to his knees.
-It took a bit of research, as time was running out to select fighters, but Brunnhilde finally found you, finding your soul and instantly she prepared the ceremony to summon you!
-You were sitting at your kitchen table, a cold cup of coffee sitting to the side of you as you yawned, trying to get through the rest of the tests you were grading for your third-grade class. It was late Friday night, and you were trying to wrap things up so you could enjoy your weekend.
-You felt your vision going hazy, just for a moment or two before you landed hard on your rear with a sharp cry, landing on a hard stone floor before you heard a woman’s voice, “Oh no!”
-You looked up, initially confused as to where you are and how you got there before your eyes went wide, “Brunnhilde? Wait- how- stars above! What happened?!”
-Brunnhilde was in about as much shock as you as she panicked, “Lady Nyx?!” you scrambled to your feet, memories of your previous life as the goddess of the night came rushing back to you, recalling everything, including how you died.
-The Valkyrie stammered, having not realized that you had been reincarnated as a human, she had only tracked your soul, not realizing that a whole body was going to come with it!!
-You went to speak when Jack and Nikola entered the room, looking for Brunnhilde as they both had a question to ask her and ran into each other on the way and they entered to find Brunnhilde with an unknown woman, both looking a bit frantic.
-You turned, seeing these two enter and your eyes instantly went wide before your pupils seemed to take over your eyes, shrouding them in darkness as you fell back, almost as if you were going to faint as Brunnhilde lunged to catch you, “Lady Nyx!!”
-Shadows and darkness shrouded your body, enveloping you and forcing Brunnhilde back into the arms of the men who were stunned and concerned, Nikola holding his wrist up to his nose to block the dust, “What’s happening?!”
-As quickly as it started you rose, still looking similar to the form Brunnhilde summoned you with, only with pure black eyes that seemed to sparkle with stars of the night sky, wearing a flowing black gown that seemed to have stars sewing into the fabric and a crown baring the crest of both a moon and a star appeared around your forehead.
-You exhaled deeply, as if you had experienced a rush of energy before you looked over at the three individuals, “Are you all unharmed?” you seemed to be exuding an aura of power, one that they could all easily sense that you were dangerous, but there was no hostility.
-The three of them explained to you, after you asked why you had been summoned back to Valhalla, and the two humans were stunned to learn that you were Goddess of the Night herself, Nyx, brought back after you had died so long ago.
-You learned of Zeus and the plans of the other gods, to wipe out humanity rather than taking care of their messes themselves and how Brunnhilde brought about Ragnarok to give humanity a chance.
-You were easily able to tell there was something else that Brunnhilde was planning, you weren’t completely sure what, but you knew, and she could tell that you knew.
-Jack introduced himself as Jack the Ripper and instead of looking frightened, you almost looked amused, giving him a small smile, “Creatures, monsters, and myths of the night are all my children, dear one, and you are no monster- at least the one you claim to be.” He was stunned, eyes wide that you were able to tell, but then again, you were a goddess.
-Nikola was… very enthusiastic, he reminded you of an excited puppy, as he had been wanting to talk to a god and began to rattle off questions, curious about you, and both Brunnhilde and Jack thought it was amusing to see Nikola so excited.
-You were very calm on the outside, not showing your emotions, but Jack could tell you were furious, the bright, angry red color of your soul, plus the heat you were radiating out, was a clear indication as you learned of the actions of the gods over the years, how cruel and evil they had been. Humans didn’t have clean hands either, but the gods had the power to correct not only the humans, but correct themselves as well, but did nothing, choosing to turn a blind eye just to destroy everything to get rid of the problem they created and ignored.
-You looked over at Brunnhilde with a knowing smile, “May I take it that the reason I was summoned was to fight for you, dear Brunnhilde?” she bowed her head, being respectful to you, “It is- or at least to ask for your insight on the champions for the matches, if you are willing?”
-Your eyes seemed to flash, something Nikola leaned in close to see, which you thought was rather cute before you smirked, “I will fight- but only on my terms.” Brunnhilde bowed her head again, thanking you but Jack could see that her colors of elation were dancing on the inside.
-You were impressed with Lu Bu’s raw strength, being able to go against Thor of all gods, and managed to injure him, just a little, and you could see the joy on both of their faces as they had fun together, never wanting their fight to end.
-When Zeus entered the arena as the next opponent, taking Shiva’s spot, your eyes seemed to dance as you approached Brunnhilde and Adam. You smiled gently at Adam, “Forgive me, but I wish to take your place. Zeus is going to learn an important lesson today.”
-Brunnhilde nodded, agreeing to the terms and sent the update so Heimdall could introduce you while Adam gave you a firm nod, “Save my children.” Your hand on the top of his head was comforting as you gave him your silent vow before you walked out.
-Heimdall was stunned when you walked out, before stunning everyone as he shouted, “It’s the return of the night! Fighting for humanity- resurrected and ready to rumble- Goddess of the Night- Nyx!!”
-Zeus was stammering, his knees knocking together as your dark gown swirled in the wind before you glared across the field and slowly, as if he was watching something terrible in slow motion, your hands came to your hips, “Zeus- would you like to explain yourself?”
-Many humans who didn’t know you were stunned, seeing that not only Zeus, but many of the gods looked downright terrified of you, many talking about how they needed to do something to appease you and quickly, telling everyone that you were easily one of the strongest, if not the strongest, gods in Valhalla.
-You did not kill Zeus, no- you wanted him to fix his mistakes, but that didn’t mean he walked away from the match uninjured. The first bitch slap you landed sent a shockwave throughout the stadium, sending Zeus flying into the sky above before you proceeded to wipe the floor with him.
-You called out all of his bullshit, wanting to destroy humanity after he let them get out of hands, treating humans like play things, not being able to keep it in his pants, and calling out the rest of the gods as well for not doing more, as it’s their job, as the creators of humanity, to manage them, and just because they got out of hand, it’s not okay to just brush them under the rug and destroy them.
-After you left Zeus in a steaming pile of lumps and bruises your hands rose to your hips again, “We the gods are going to have another meeting- now!” nobody opposed you, not even Odin, as the gods were quick to file out, moving to the meeting hall.
-You met up with Brunnhilde and Adam who both thanked you, happy to see that hopefully something was going to happen to prevent this tournament from going any further.
-You were known as a goddess of chaos, but at this point, all you wanted now was peace, and you were going to get it, Zeus was going to make sure of that, because a happy Nyx means a happy Zeus and the other gods.
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jennyholzeressays · 2 years
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its late and i finished watching
feeling kindof darkly ambitious about worst person in the world.. it’s very good to me. i enjoyed the pressure release of the ending where her body says goodbye to her and she’s relieved of the pressure to choose for herself almost when she’s given so many options and her mirror images of herself are told to her so often by the male characters in her life. and shes under this pressure to change but it’s coming from a man telling her what she needs to do. or should do. and that scrambling around in the dark for an honest answer is prolonged so long and finally her body makes the decision. im reminded of how women are connected to ether unknown and primordial chaos and how this is undermined and questioned by language and definition. idk i feel that relief where god/universe intervenes (via her own body) because that’s the only source of decision she can really trust, isn’t human (or sourced from ego/consciousness, and thus subject to human error) and possesses immutable finality. but she also gets grounded by the end and reaches.. individuality? unbound by obligation to anyone else’s needs.. male or not. which is interesting to watch. even after the cancer relieves her of responsibility to axl. who does become.. a memory. but is that really her doing? nah.. it’s tough being a woman and other people wanting so much of u. it’s nice to watch her not cave into it. kind of interesting. because it also seems to go against so much of.. sociality. and also.. common expectation for nice human behavior. she’s affected by his passing in the night but she’s not giving. her face or presence or reassurance which she can’t really give. at the same time axl’s character was so moving. unstoppable force.. almost moving the immovable object. she’s besotted by the weight of expectations, so much that she does nothing. and these expectations aren’t much to anyone else, they’re not everything until the cancer part. then shit pales in comparison and those expectations get enormously inflated. i just feel.. morose about it all. and in some way.. a lot of this just happens to her. it’s not really her doing. she fantasizes and thinks and believes through these dream sequences and she processes and she’s in her head and so much time passes while her heart and body churn in the night. she gets older so quickly. and has nothing to do with photography in the first part. and.. gives all her thought to how she feels about her relationships and how they relate to her and what she wants. but she’s like.. unsocialized in this modern era because her mom isn’t bugging to get a better job. maybe that’s just the american in me talking. but in terms of screen time so much passes before she gets to individual parts and i’m not buying how she works a job she’s just okay about until breaking. especially for someone who was in med school. this side of her day to day and what this does to her psyche isn’t given much consideration, the characters just seem to exist in their apartments which is the nice scandi voyeurism part of it that i also really enjoy. it is a nice heart churning movie though. i don’t like seeing these early twenties movies about women though, it kinda sucks to have to empathize with them. bc it’s not really true, or real. or accurate. only to a point. and it’s a bit shallow. but so well acted. and brilliant acting actually. well done. i just hurt a lot from the cancer sequence. it sucks. and to be so in need while in pain and to watch your life end before you with.. eventually no one. he was right about her being the love of his life at what cost.. when being right costs you more than your happiness it’s time to give it up.  arg. i actually really liked this movie. but i would never in my life call it feminist because it’s not at all feminist. it’s just a movie. and when it’s just a movie i can call it good. and moving. and beautiful and pretty. and teary ;-,(
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bump1nthen1ght · 3 years
Text
Late Night Favor (Shadow Monster x Reader)
Genre: Fluff, Urban Fantasy
Warnings: Explicit content up ahead (18+ ONLY), Oral, Fingering
Word Count: 4000 Words
Summary: A couple of small good deeds leaves you with a late night visitor, looking to repay a debt.
Request: "You unknowingly rescue a shadow monster and bring it home with you, after a couple days of lurking in the shadows of your home and recuperating it shows you just how thankful it is." I had this idea forever ago but was never able to execute it. My opening idea was that a few kids are shining flashlights at something, tormenting it, and you swoop in to save it and chase the kids away. You thought they were hurting a cat or something, but find nothing and head home.
What do you think? Would you like to take it on? I'd be honored if you would 😊
A/N: *Throws this into the street to appease for the fact I haven’t updated Out of the Woods in THREE MONTHS IM SORRY*
It was the perfect weather for a lazy day inside. The pitter patter of the rain on your window had almost lulled you back to sleep during breakfast, and the thunder had provided great ambiance for reading. You hadn’t bothered changing out of your pajamas and we’re enjoying a soap opera binge on the coach when the peace was disturbed.
At first it was just the sound of clattering trash cans, not uncommon from the alley outside your window. But then it was followed by the raucous laughter of teenagers, rocks being thrown against the concrete, and a sharp hissing.
You hoist yourself up and off the couch, meandering toward the balcony, expecting to see a bunch of kids fucking around; Maybe using the cover of the fire escape to hide from the rain and smoke some weed.
Ah, memories.
But instead, you see a huddled group of boys pointing a flashlight into the pile of garbage right by the dumpster. One of them picks up a pebble and throws it into the light beam, causing another hiss and a jerk of movement. The boys laugh even louder, the one on the right nudging the one with the flashlight.
“Dude, do it again!”
Flashlight agrees, quickly moving the light into another corner as the one on the left throws a rock in the opposite direction. A shape of pitch black hisses again, deterred by the rock and scared by the brightness. Your brow furrows.
“Hey!”
The boys jump, looking in all directions.
“What are you three doing down there?” They finally look up at you, messy-haired and bleary-eyed. They shrug and ignore you, one even throwing another rock, bigger than before. There’s a sad yelp as it collides with the blackness.
You grit your teeth, grabbing your jacket off a nearby shelf and yell again.
“Fuck off! Leave the poor thing alone!”
They all laugh insufferably, the way most stuck up teenagers do.
“Or what?”
You shrug on your raincoat, picking up the baseball bat you keep strategically placed by your couch.
“Or I’ll come down and make you, jackass!”
You kick open your  fire escape, slippers already damp, and start marching down the staircases. The boys get the message and run away, still jeering and laughing. Seems you weren’t as intimidating as you’d like.
You shuffle down the fire escape, slowing down as you approach the poor creature. You lower your back and peak under the dumpster.
“It's okay, little guy, I won’t hurt ya.” You set down your bat and crouch, kissing your lips as you hold out your free hand. All you see is a hint of glowing eyes, nervously peering out, before the dark shape disappears completely, hidden by the shadow of the dumpster. You’re tempted to sit down and wait for it, hoping to check if the poor stray was injured, but the wet concrete looks unappealing. The bottom of your sweats are already drenched.
You stand up, sigh, and go back up the fire escape. You unlatch the dusty pet door on your sliding glass balcony and make sure to leave a hot thing of milk and some water just outside. You ponder going out to get cat food, but the well-timed weather report tells you to stay off the streets. Slumping back down on the couch, you keep on eye on your fire escape, hoping that whatever it was, it’s okay.
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The next day is sunny, the rain clearing away any air pollution and leaving blue skies to shine down through your window, waking you up extra early. As you sit down with a cup of coffee, switching on the news before starting work, you notice the empty bowls on your balcony.
You set down the mug, walking over to the door and checking the bowls. Seems that little stray had needed the refreshment, as both were licked clean.
You refill them, making sure to add  cat food to your grocery list.
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After a long day of work, you’re feeling particularly domestic and decide to bake some cookies. Your brain is sore after staring at a screen for eight hours straight, a simple task like this is the perfect thing to keep it from melting completely.
You open up your window, letting the cool night air into your kitchen as you check  on your baking cookies. Wiping flour off your pants, you turn on the radio and throw a glance to your living room.
You had set up a tiny blanket pallet right next to your pet door, the weatherman’s warning of another thunderstorm tonight having you worried for your stray. Hopefully a full belly of milk will convince them that your house is safe enough to find shelter in.
But the afternoon is beautiful, not too cold and not too hot, only the slight tang of metal in the air hinting to rain. With a ding from the oven, you take out the cookies and set them on a cooling tray on your window. The smell of cinnamon and sugar wafts over you as you take a sip of your tea, staring out into the city streets. Small puddles still speckle the pavement, catching the headlights of nearby cars and flashy billboards.
A quick sound, something hitting your balcony door, that jerks you out of your reverie. You set down your mug and slowly peek out from your kitchen, wondering if you should’ve grabbed  a kitchen knife. But it’s just your pet door, flapping back and forth in front of two, now empty, bowls. Aww, seems your stray took a step inside. Too bad you missed it.
The gurgle of your stomach convinces you to take a crack at the cookies. If they were too hot, you could just wash them down with a nice glass of milk anyway. Maybe even put on a sitcom while you snack.
You lightly tap the top cookie; Warm, but not unbearable. Steam rises as you break it open, blowing in the middle and taking a tiny bite.
Fuck, good job _____.
They’re perfectly done, just soft enough to melt in your mouth. You grab two more, holding them in between your fingers as you hold the other half in your mouth. Maybe you could bring the batch into work tomorrow, give your coworkers a nice surprise. That is if you didn't have 10 tonight. But 20 should be just enough-
Huh, that’s weird. There's only 19, including the one still dangling out of your mouth.
You could’ve sworn you baked 20.
Well whatever. Your coworkers can handle not coming back for seconds tomorrow.
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“Ow! Fuck!”
You bite your lip, trying not to yell out more curse words as you rub your stubbed toe. You limp to your kitchen, fumbling for the light switch to avoid another incident. All you had wanted was a midnight sweet snack, was that so difficult? You’d thought you could navigate your apartment pretty easily in the dark, but the pain in your foot says otherwise.
The light flickers as you finally find the switch, reminding you that you’re going to need to change the bulb sometime soon. But that's a problem for another day; Right now, it’s cookie time.
You don’t bother pouring yourself a glass or getting a plate, devouring the treat in three bites and throwing back a quick swig of milk. It’s almost midnight, not like anyone’s watching-
Oh, wait.
You slowly close the fridge door, trying to make as little noise as possible so as not to wake the little stray curled up, asleep. The little ball of black was snuggled into the pallet, tossing and turning. A flash of lightning cracks outside your apartment, washing your living room with light. The ball jerks in shock, the thunder afterwards only frightening it more, forcing it to curl up even tighter.  
You take small and light steps towards the tiny bed, not wanting to approach the scared beast too quickly. The room is lit up again by another lightning strike and the little stray forces it’s body backwards and away from the window. You crouch down real low, the small bits of light helping your eyes adjust to the layout.
“How are you doing, little guy?” You whisper, mostly to yourself, tapping your fingers against your carpet. Part of you wants to pet it, but think it might be better not to. No need to startle it. “Is the lightning scary? You can come to my room if you want, I’ll protect ya.”
Midst the black, you see two little eyes, little blips of light that open with another flash of lightning. But they aren’t yellow, nor are they slitted, nor are they anything remotely animal.
They're like the headlights of a car, blinding white with no definition at all. Not even pupils. You're startled, eye’s widening as the creature lifts it’s head. A long smile runs across their face, full of razor sharp teeth.
“Oh my, that sounds delightful.” They purr, and you find yourself losing your footing and falling back on your ass. Your fingers dig into the carpet as their body slowly begins to unfurl out of a ball and stretch into a massive form, as if their whole size had been hidden away somewhere else; Like it had been literally in the shadows.
You scramble backwards, breath picking up as the creature stretches it’s long limbs, colorless eyes still locked onto you as it stands up and up. It rolls back its shoulders as it sits on its haunches, its form still towering over you even when crouched. You notice the shades of huge antlers sticking out from the side of their head, only adding to their intimidating height.
The creature still has that terrifying smile, all canines and no molars, it’s unblinking eyes still staring deep into your soul.
You’ve heard people do weird things in times of high stress, of strong emotions, good and bad. Like the wires in your brains get crossed when trying to find the right response.
“Uh, do you want a cookie?”
You think you get that now.
The creature chuckles, a soft timbre that echoes unnaturally.
“No, dearie, I have already indulged in your confections. You see,” They creature leans forward, falling to its knees to crawl towards you. If it weren’t for the overwhelming fear constricting your heart, you’d almost think it was seductive, “You’ve done so much for me these past days, I think it’d be only fair if I helped you indulge in a far-” The creature’s face looms over yours, their arms caging your sides as they lick their lips, “-sweeter treat, yes?”
Your eyes search their face, trying to find signs of trickery or malice, maybe even some demonic sense of humor.
As if I’d even know what that looks like.
“Are you-” You catch a breath, now noticing the fine musculature of their shoulders, and the definition of their arms, “Are you propositioning me, like, for sex?”
The creature laughs again, their eyes crinkling up as they throw their head back. But when they look back down at you, you can almost feel the lust radiating off their gaze, details be damned.
“Yes, lovely, I am.”
You take your eyes off their face, a little too overwhelmed to stare directly into their blistering expression. Not to mention the blinding light which has begun to put red spots into your vision.
Instead, your eyes fall upon their thick thighs, the small tail waving behind them, and how unnervingly sexy you find the way their claws are digging up your rug.
You slowly move your head, catching the creature’s eyes.
“I-uh-I guess? Yeah, yeah I guess that sounds good. Um, what was your name?”
The creature smirks, a single claw tipped finger tilting up your chin, as they whisper,
“Nocter.”
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Well, this is definitely the weirdest way I’ve gotten someone into bed.
Nocter’s antlers brush against your stucco-ceiling as it pushes you down on the bed, their shining white eyes staring deep into yours. Their lack of pupils is almost unsettling, but when they run their claws down your chest and pinch your nipples, you find it hard to care. You bite your lip, fighting back an embarrassing whimper as they trace one finger around the bud, pebbling the skin.
“Aww, has it been a while, sweetling?” You roll your eyes, but let out another squeak as they flick their thumb across your other nipple, the palm of their hand pressing against your ribcage.
“M-maybe.” You mutter, digging your finger into your bed sheets as their hands dance across your skin. One pulls up the bottom of your pajama shirt as it nudges one of their legs in between your thighs, pushing their knee up against your crotch.
“Don’t worry,” They push the fabric up to your neck, laying a kiss on the center of your stomach, then your chest, and then your jugular. When they plant one on your jaw, they lean in real close, “I’ll make sure to treat you right.”
Nocter’s long tongue splays against your jaw, licking a stripe up your cheek as one of their hands moves from your chest to the waistband of your shorts. They slip a couple fingers underneath, lightly petting the area right above your crotch. They’re such a tease, and you love it.
Nocter pecks the side of your face, over and over, while their hand moves further and further down your body at an agonizing pace. Their hot breath sends goosebumps down your neck, washing over your face as they exhale with every kiss. You catch them off guard when you turn your head toward them, catching their lips-mid peck and eagerly sticking your tongue outward. They purr with delight, their thin almost-lips quickly devouring you.
A long string of saliva connects the two of you as you detach, taking the time to shimmy out of your shirt. You pull them closer, your hands digging into their shoulder muscles and fingers just brushing over the long ridges on their back. They chuckle once again, pulling their fingers out your shorts and merely digging their palm into the fabric of your crotch.
“Eager, huh?”
“Shut up,” You mumble in between kisses, “This is for me, isn’t it?”
“Ohoho,” kiss, “Someone’s showing their feisty side a little early.” kiss, “What happened to my benevolent, saintly saviour?” kiss.
You pull away from their lips, quickly latching onto the crux of their neck and taking a nip. “S’not fair.” You say, taking a deep whiff of their skin as you suck and bite. They smell like brimstone and a bonfire, not quite what you 're expecting, but not unpleasant. “You can’t tease me like that and not-” Your cut off as the pad of one Nocters fingers presses up against your entrance, the fabric only amplifying the sensation as they begin to tease it.
“Deliver?” Nocter finishes, sinfully smug. You throw them a glare. “I’m a good guest, scout’s honor.”
You roll your eyes right before they lock you into another kiss, rubbing the pads of their fingers up and down your crotch. They use their hand to push you backwards, sinking deeper into the mattress as they situate their knees under your thighs. One they pull back from the kiss, your face and lips thoroughly debauched, your legs are splayed up on their pelvis and they easily slip off your bottoms. Nocter takes a whiff of your underwear, the crotch now slightly damp, giving you a wink before they throw it over their shoulder.
You jerk your hips slightly upward, and Nocter tuts.
“Patience, sweetling.” They roll a hand down your abdomen, fingers splaying onto your stomach, nails just teasing the skin. With a kiss to your inside calf, Nocters hand ghosts across your entrance. You can’t help biting your lip, the heat and their touch sending your mind into a frenzy.
They continue a path of kisses down your leg, now pressing their finger right up against your hole. They only pause to suck on their index and middle fingers, coating them with a heavy and blue-tinted saliva. Once they’ve reached the middle of your thigh, nipping at the apex, they sink into you.
Nocter’s fingers are long, articulated and move with sure movements. They start off slow, scissoring you open, simpering as you dig your nails into your bed sheets. The pads of their fingers push against your walls, just grazing sensitive spots as they make a slow ‘come hither’ motion. Your hips jerk forward, humping into their palm. They smirk against your skin, nipping another love bite as they retract their fingers until only the tip remains. You catch your breath, holding it until they sink back into you, shoving their fingers forward with far more force.
You whimper as their fingers pull back, only to follow with quicker thrusts. Nocter’s aim is pin-point in finding the most pleasurable spots inside you, the feeling only amplified by the pinpricks of their teeth into the fat of your thigh. The tip of their tongue licks hot trails of spit tantalizingly close to your hole, which clenches around their bony fingers. The slick sound of your juices, the skin of their palm slapping against yours, is downright pornographic.
Your legs try to clamp around their shoulders, the overwhelming stimuli triggering an instant reaction, but Nocter pins your right leg down to your bed easily, never losing focus on fingering you. The tips of their claws trace the inside of your leg, the hard edge of their wrist digging into fat.  Your fingers reach to grip around something, anything to keep you grounded as the knot in your stomach grows tighter and tighter. They find their way around Nocter’s left wrist; You’re almost afraid you’ll leave bruises, before remembering how sturdy every part of their body seems to be.
You let out a whimper as the crests of an orgasm seem to overwhelm you, nearly gasping as Nocter quickly removes their fingers. In any other state of mind you might have made a comment, look down and wonder why they’ve stopped. But the heat in your belly compels you to grip their wrist tight and to throw your hips upwards. With a desperate breath, you plead,
“P-please! Please, don’t stop.”
Nocter doesn’t chuckle, doesn’t make a sly remark about your neediness or your lewd movements. They lean forward, giving another kiss right below your navel, and pet your wrist.
“Of course, dearie.”
With a wink, they lean down a lick a long stripe up your hole, giving one last kiss to your leg before plunging their tongue inside.
You didn’t think it was possible for them to reach even deeper inside you with their tongue than their fingers, but the sparks which fly in your core say otherwise. The ridges of Nocters tongue brush against your walls as they flick the appendage back and forth, the tip pressing forward with controlled motions. It doesn’t thrash back and forward haphazardly, but reaches for those sensitive spots and plays with them.
“Oh, f-fuck!” You yelp, feeling an icy-cold liquid run down your ass. From the sound of smacking lips and muffled moans, it must be Nocter’s saliva. They let out a groan, pushing their jaw forward as their eyes clenched shut. The hand on your leg pinches skin as it tightens up, the other pressing your hips down, but the pressure they apply is phantom at best. Nocter seems to revel in your pleading humps for more, meeting each movement with a thrust of their jaw, the base of their tongue stretching you open.
The two of you keep that rhythm for what feels like an eternity, but is probably only a couple of minutes. Sweat drips down your chest and off of your belly, your legs muscles on fire as you continue to push upward and into Nocter’s face. You start feeling that impending wave begin to crest again, with your limbs shaking and your throat hoarse.
“Nocter, I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna-I’m so close!”
This time, Nocter doesn’t let up on their pace, reaching one hand down to deliver a hard slap on your ass and forcing a yelp out of you. Your speech devolves into slurred curses and your hands move to touch them, to find some grasp in reality. Nocter continues to suck and tongue-fuck your hole as your thighs clench around their head. Your humps are tiny and weak, your lower half barely holding itself up.
The knot gets tighter, a firecracker fuse about to blow in your abdomen. In the heat of the moment, your hands find their way to Nocter’s scalp and grab onto the base of their antlers. Their moan rumbles through you, right before you yank their head forward, their tongue hitting the deepest part of you as you shutter and-
“I’m cumming!”
Another moan vibrates against your hole as your body shudders and jolts, your hips still pressed firmly against Nocter’s face. But in the next moment, a heavy weight falls over your body, slumping you down onto the bed. Your chest heaves, eye’s fuzzy as Nocter’s tongue ‘pop’s out of you.
Your gaze wanders over your stucco ceiling, droplets of sweat rolling down your neck as you try and catch your breath. You can feel Nocter’s large hands rolling a massage into your thighs, their own heavy breathing brushing over your crotch.
A fuzzy shape of pure black comes into your vision as Nocter hovers over you, their body hovering just an inch above yours. They give you a small peck on the cheek.
“Feel good?” They whisper.
All you can do is nod, your shaky hands wandering over their back. There’s no sign of sweat on their skin, but you can feel the heat running off of it as they nuzzle into your neck.
As your fingers dance over the ride of their back, you can hear the rumble of a low purr coming from their chest, but they stay hovering over your body. You press your hands into their back, applying weak pressure to encourage them to relax.
“It seems I’ve repaid my debt.” Nocter murmurs into your ear, pushing themselves up onto their hands, pulling even farther from you as their eye’s look around your room. You keep your hands wrapped around their waist, stopping them from fully getting up. They look back to you, white eyes slightly widening.
“Would you-” You take another deep breath, “Want to stay? For the night?”
Nocter stares at you, the black void of their face almost unreadable. But when they run a claw down the side of your face, it burns with affection and longing.
“Would you want that?”
Your room is nearly pitch black, only the lights of the street peeking in between your curtains. Nocter’s body seems to absorb all light near it, their hot body like a heating pad. But their eyes are so bright, so full, so mesmerizing; Like a full moon on the dark city sky.
“Yes, I would.”
Nocter’s nods, their expression barely changing, but you think you can see a hint of a smile amidst all the black. They let their body relax, pressing their chest against yours as they sink into the sheets and nuzzle back into your neck.
You can smell the sweat coating your body and feel the way you stick to the sheets. Frankly, the both of you kind of smell.
But it doesn’t stop you from snuggling into Nocter’s body, eye’s heavy as you peacefully fall into sleep.
1K notes · View notes
iwadori · 3 years
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Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.
can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)
Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto
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Part One Part Two Part Three
Word count: 2.6K
Genre: angst, fluff
masterlist
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Ushijima
You were having the worst week this week,  from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.
Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh  
“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”  
He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks
“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.
“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”
His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet “thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.
As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:  
Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.
Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.
You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.  
When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.
You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.
You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.
Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.
The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’
He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.
He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.
You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.  
“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you  
“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain
“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.
“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face  
“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”
You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.  
Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.
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Bokuto  
The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.  
Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.  
You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.
The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.
When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.  
You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.  
It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.
On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.  
On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”
Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.
Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.
You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.
Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.
They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.  
One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.
‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.  
He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.  
He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.
You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.  
“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes  
You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.  
“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said
The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.
Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.
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hhjs · 3 years
Text
forget me not.
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♡ based on — "During times of war. I want to say: I only love you, And I cling you, Like the peel clings to a pomegranate, Like the tear clings to the eye, Like the knife clings to the wound." and the song nightlife by daydream masi.
♡ summary  —   Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.
wherein, putting your heart on the line for the sake of doing favours isn’t a frequent component in your schedule. But what happens when this favour is asked for by the boy you may or may not have fancied for far too long?
 You accept it. 
 For a very embarrassing reason, really, which is — you think Hwang Hyunjin needs you.
♡ pairing— hwang hyunjin x reader
♡ word count— 8.8k whoopsies
♡ genre and alternate universe — angst, fluff + hanahaki au.
♡ author's note— this was supposed to be a drabble and then i sort of lost my fucking mind ehe...also this is easily the worst thing i have ever written im so sorry aaa but this is a lil present from my end hahaha
♡ warnings— suggestive content, vomiting, mention of blood. allusions to depression and heartbreak.
Amongst other things, you're extremely bad at saying 'no'. You don't mean the word per se...but the underlying connotation of this very monosyllable which may come at the expense of letting another person down.
It's sort of stupid, you understand, your friends have constantly voiced their worries for your extremely complacent nature more often than you'd think actually. But it all goes over your head. See — old habits really do die hard.
When you're eight, this very defect takes you to dreadful saxophone lessons your mum spoke so highly of. When you're 15, it gets you called to the principal's office for flashing Jeongin trigonometric functions in Mister Choi's pop quiz, when you're older, things are definitely no different.
The passenger seat is occupied, Hyunjin's holding a tangled muffler to his suede jacket clad chest. At 21, he's become someone you used to know. A friend of a friend, Felix's to be very specific. But the man in question, who was supposed to be his ride, passes off this duty for kegstands and you just happen to be the designated driver for the night, shuffling Jisung beside Changbin and Chan, who claims to be 'sober' even though he's half asleep.
Hyunjin is uncharacteristically quiet.
There's a polite smile on rendered your way as your eyes meet. A small curvature along his plump bottom lip, tighter around the edges. Still this simple formality is so beautiful that you feel something inside you come alive.
When Jisung starts snoring, you flip on the radio and Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here comes on.
Your fingers feel numb when they come to tap out a rhythm to the track. It's nice. Tingling guitar riffs swelling, David Gilmour's gruffy voice pours in from faulty speakers. The more the song progresses, the more you find yourself attempting to think about anything that will distract you from the boy beside you, in the flesh no less.
So late at night, the main road is eerily silent. Cobblestones reflecting the sound of tires thumping against its layout, streetlights blinking at you from their drooping heads. Across the street, a baker is tucking away leftover bread and buskers are packing up their beat up guitars, a man in his late 50's pulling his blanket to his nose as he rests a head full of gray hair on the cold pavement.
You glance at Hyunjin from the corner of your eye and find that his staggering smile has completely disappeared. Now there's a distant glaze in his eyes. It's like he's here, in this moment, with you, but at the same time, he's somewhere else.
Under the impression you've done something wrong, you immediately begin to panic. But the thing is, you don't actually know if you should ask. Would it constitute as crossing a line if you had anyway?
Hyunjin covers his mouth with a sleeve, muffled retching building beyond fabric.
The reasonable assumption is obvious. It's not abnormal to be nauseous when you've got one too many drinks in you. He motions for you to pull over, incoherent sentences practically melding together, words forming and dissipating between choking fits.
You scramble to dig out a bottle of mineral water you habitually deposit in the glove compartment, offering him the tissue first. Ears perking up in satisfaction when a garbled thanks escapes his parted lips. But then... something weird happens.
As your eyes flicker to unintentionally glance at the contents discarded on the pitch grey sidewalk, you freeze in your seat.
You were never a big believer of superstition, not someone who buys into myths only meant for the fiction genre. Sure, you can be gullible sometimes...but what's happening falls no way under the realistic category.
The lethal Hanahaki disease, only inherited by some unlucky descendants, every moment in your head prior to this one, was something that's obviously non existent.
Yet... there's so much blood, too much blood attesting to your blatant ignorance. The petals are of a white rose, smudging together in swirls of grotesque crimson in mimicry of a sheen of red sticking to the inner corners of his lips. It has happened before, you can tell, from just how unsurprised he looks.
Hyunjin's stare flits to commit every detail of your to memory, in what only seems a quick study of gauging your forthcoming reaction, though even before you can produce a coherent thought, he says,
"You can't tell anyone." His voice drops a few octaves as though he's afraid your snoring friends in the back might've noticed. "Please."
Hyunjin's face softens by the slightest, contrary to his firm demand, there lies a desperation you couldn't overlook.
In retrospect, what you're about to tell is ultimately a promise that'd come back to bite you in due time. However, see now, you're extremely bad at saying no. Somehow you're even worse when it comes to Hyunjin. So you blink, turn the radio off and say,
"Okay."
The pool is preheated. For that you're most thankful.
Frankly, you couldn't imagine what it'd be like being pushed into a chilly body of water mid winter. Not that it's pleasant otherwise, you can't swim.
Well at 15, you hadn't quite learned to. The other kids have scurried inside to hog freshly baked Snowman biscuits Seungmin's mum is renowned for.
Then and you think you'll never quite forget it, Hyunjin's wearing an orange power ranger t shirt, it's darker now that it's wet, his glasses are marked with uneven splatters. His face scrunches up at the sudden splash of wetness engulfing his body. He wasn't planning to get in the water.
"Hold on tight." He says, wounding your arms around his neck, your calves tighter to his sides to support your shivering body. Back then Hyunjin's hair was black, cropped short and swept to the side, he smells like fabric softener and skittles. A water donut is discarded in the middle of the pool.
Everybody you know and don't know, from the birth of superheroes stuck in comic books to valiant protagonists behind fuzzy television screens, has this inherent desire to be saved. From the world, from themselves. No, no, it doesn't have to be a grand gesture, swooping them off of their feet from the grasp of surly men in dark alleys, sometimes it's really just simple. Sometimes people save you in the most ordinary way there is.
The weight of your form on his bright pink water donut while he stood on his toes to merely rest his elbows so the item wouldn't flip, a small act, certified this very claim, had not the nimble touch of his cold fingers, brushing away wet hair from your face, to anxiously ask if you're okay met the purpose. He talks to you like the sound of his voice has the power to injure you.
You nod slowly. Like this, it feels like you're going to be.
Hyunjin pouts, looking perfectly unconvinced. He paddles the pair of you to steel stairs spiraling into the pool, so he can stand without just his nose peeking out of the water, he looks at you once again, a wrinkle between his dark, arched eyebrows and says solemnly, "Jisung's such an idiot sometimes, isn’t he?"
But isn't he your friend? You want to ask. Something stops you though —his tone tells you you aren't the only one to fall victim to Jisung's practical jokes. Not that they were offensive or anything. Han Jisung, the same person who twiddles his thumbs when he wants the last chicken nugget and cries every time you watch Howl's Moving Castle together, genuinely doesn't mean any harm. It's just that...when he's comfortable with people, who aren't many, he tends to do a lot of dumb things. Dumb, endearing things that Minho will kill him for someday.
"A little bit," You mumble under your breath. Heat rising to your face at the possibility of Hyunjin being concerned for you. He sounds almost angry. "Thanks by the way."
It's rather pitiful to remember. Because with time, Hyunjin's world becomes so big that your interaction stands to be too insignificant to not forget. Before you know it, he's the shooting guard of your school's basketball team, just a handsome face who dates better girls, makes better friends. It's superficial and a little sad.
No, no, a little sad is an understatement actually.
To see someone you understood intimately, a boy who always described details too much just to stray from the main story, a boy with too many emotions bubbling to an awfully animated surface; someone who was passionate, sensitive and so nauseatingly big hearted...change into a man who is indubitably untouchable...is tragic. At least.
Yet funnily enough — you can't quite imagine a world without Hwang Hyunjin. His ringing laughter rippling through loud ambiences, his distant humming of Christmas carols whilst he absently skimmed through spines of children's novels and his eyes glimmering in adoration whenever he spoke of something he loved — Without him, you imagine, there would be a massive deficiency in your world, in the world. Like if birthday cakes came with the biggest slice carved out.
Hyunjin grins, a big sort of candid grin that turns his eyes into upturned crescents. His previous temperament long forgotten. Suddenly, this utterly atrocious happening seems to not be so bad. Suddenly you don't mind that Jisung is an idiot sometimes.
"Of course."
Hyunjin is not perfect. Hyunjin is no prince charming.
People don't know this. They don't understand this.
He ends up paying for dinner when he's out with a big crowd even though they were supposed to split the bill, he ends up crying when he gets angry and he is an abysmal liar, in every sense of the phrase. Hardly ever succeeding to hide his emotions when he should. When he was a kid his parents reminded him that it's a good thing to be unapologetically himself, that being honest is a good thing.
But as your eyes meet from across an ocean of people quagmired by crunchy leaves, sticky remnants of rain and his ex girlfriend who he now claims to be okay with being friends with, on her toes to poke his cheek whilst Chan's arm wraps around her waist, the soft white roses ornamented on a bow she loves wearing all the time, he thinks it's far from an agreeable trait to have.
Actually whilst you balance a newspaper under your arm and bring your coffee to your lips, it's like you're looking through him, past his skin, his flesh, something secret inscribed on his bones, embedded into his soul. You know everything, you know everything, you know everything.
The thought itself... surprisingly enough, doesn't appal him.
Hyunjin raises his palm in the air, feeling the autumn prickling against his skin. He waves at you.
Working at a library can be taxing. But it sure has its perks.
You can just about turn the place upside down and put it all back together without getting in trouble. Albeit another reason, besides your profession could be that Minho owns the place. Frankly, he may or may not have been the only cause behind your employment. It's hard to tell now that your co-workers really do recognise you've a knack for arranging things.
But to you, your job is very personal. A precious thing which relieves you from various worldly tensions. Velvety spines under your roughened fingertips, the burst of minted pages hitting your face every time you walk in, your love for reading, for a world of stories is so immense that you think you wouldn't have traded it even if your life depended on it.
For a disease that's not very well known, it's ironic how an entire section of mythology is dedicated to it. Past closing hours, amongst many novels mounted on your desk, you fixate on the one that made most sense. There's a few things you've picked up in common from all of them though — the hanahaki disease is extremely rare, it doesn't affect all those who suffer from the qualms of unrequited love.
Possible remedy according to findings entail
growths can be surgically removed, if the patient consents to eradication of memories of their loved ones.
Clanking of keys alerts incoming and you pause your tapping pen to look up.
"Burning the midnight oil, are we?"
Minho leans against the doorframe, he's half yawning, half talking and fully concerned for you.
"Yeah, looks like I'm gonna be a while." Your monotonous tone provides that you are not paying a lot of attention. You blurt without looking up. "Are you leaving?"
"No, still haven't finished archiving for that Pfizer project...But I'm going to get a bite to eat..." His inky eyes remain on you as his tone falters, "You want anything?"
"I'm fine. Thanks."
"Wow you're like...really uh invested." He tilts his head in thought, "You seeing someone again?"
You know Minho long enough to know he has a teasing side to him, from diaper days to play dates ending in pillow fights because he kept offering you his last Pringle just to pop it into his stupid smirking mouth — but you have no idea where he's going with this.
So you look up, finally. Furrowing your brows.
"No. What does that have to do with anything?"
He shrugs, "I haven't seen you concentrate so hard since you dumped Jeongin."
Your right eye twitches. Because you know exactly what he's referring to, and simultaneously, for the sake of your well-being, you much prefer being in denial. "What?"
"C'mon. Remember how you always ended up doing his homework?" He reminds you. "It's like when you like someone, you go out of your way to do charitable stuff for them. But...this? Too much. Even for you."
You ignore Minho's comment. To the world, Hwang Hyunjin's place in your life is not significant. After all this is the most natural undulation in the vicissitudes of life — for someone who once was your friend to eventually drift apart, to become a has been. It's too hard to explain why you care. After all this time.
"I was just being nice." You narrow your eyes, unimpressed. "Clearly this concept is lost on some people."
"Sure you are, bud. If being 'nice' is synonymous with whipped." Of course, there's a smug grin gracing his pouted lips that tempts you to fling something at him. Not that you can though. Seeing as Minho breaks out into a full fledged sprint, his singsongy voice a thinning echo bouncing off of shelves and windows and doors.
Still somehow his footsteps manage to travel through walls, permeating into your office with such great amplitude that you could be bamboozled into thinking he hasn't left at all. Or maybe you've stopped paying attention, your eyes zoom in on any other helpful detail you can put to use in wrapping your head around what you have witnessed firsthand.
At the same time, you can't really ignore how hungry you're feeling just from the mention of a bite to eat. So when Minho's shadow forms again on the page you've been 'reading' for the last few seconds you sense a gigantic wave of relief washing over you.
"You know what I changed my—" slamming the book shut, you blink against scanty provision of light, with raise your head and a bleary vision, recognise him in an instant. Except...it isn't Minho. "mind..."
The only source of brightness is a small emerald lamp perched on the corner of your desk, light green catches onto one of the ornamented corners and speckles of golden caress his supple skin gently. You hadn't realised how cold it might've been outside until you see how heavily dressed Hyunjin was, a long overcoat worn over woollen sweater, a Santa hat and muffler pulled to his chin. It's no one other than your boss himself who has given him directions to your office, you know this, Hyunjin has never been inside before.
So when he marvels absently, you sense yourself feeling a little self conscious about not cleaning up. All around you, a comforter and love seat pushed against the window, cigarette butts discarded in ashtray and then...the books strewn before you tell him you practically live here.
For some reason, Hyunjin only seems to loosen up at the spectacle.
"Hi." He says finally.
"Hi..." you arrange the reading materials quickly to one side so you can rest your elbows. A small (successful) attempt made to hide your research. "Something up?" You say, but what you really mean is, what are you doing here?!
Did he suspect you were going to tell on him? Right that's it, that must be it, you tell yourself, believing, knowing, of all the years Hwang Hyunjin has known of you he has never been one to care about your whereabouts.
"I just...um," He starts, forwarding his mitten clad hands. It's the back of a crumpled coffee cup on which straight handwriting reads a bucket list...of sorts. You immediately understand that his coming is an act of impulse. Urgency of living every moment like it's slipping through it's fingers, that he just needed to tell the only person who knows, be it by accident.
Hyunjin clears his throat. "I wanna do all this before I die."
In lieu of giving an instant response, baffled, you gawp at him. Despite knowing, hearing Hyunjin say it out loud somehow makes everything...too real.
It's as though someone's reached inside your throat, pulled your heart out and crushed it with their bare hands. Hyunjin, the boy who smelled like fabric softener and skittles and wore power ranger shirts, the boy with the fantastic smile and cold fingers, is dying. You won't let him. You can't let him.
You thumb along the numbers scribbled in hasty penmanship, look up and blink rapidly, "Okay," you say, a small whisper, barely there words. "That's okay."
Even with the hat covering tips of ears, you could tell the same faint blush coating his cheeks had rushed to that particular area. His eyes drift off to the sight of pens discarded inside a wooden holder because he can feel your gaze on him. "and I...I need your help."
"Alright."
Hyunjin's eyes widen to a great degree, he sits straighter, as if he hadn't expected you to comply so quickly.
And honestly? Neither had you.
It's quiet. Awkward.
"You know it's not like I haven't thought about dying. I just figured I'd get to grow old first, settle down, have kids and all that," A wry laugh escapes his parted lips. "Everything's happening too fast."
You hesitate, thinking he's making a mistake. Frankly he shouldn't feel obligated to give you an explanation.
"You...you don't have to tell me."
"No—I mean...can I?" He gives you a sheepish look, disliking his own whimsical tone, somehow endearing still. You find yourself wondering how long he had to keep his burdens to himself, not just pertaining to his illness, but everything. His dreams, his hopes, his fears. Anything which requires a certain amount of depth. And you almost ask him, the question sitting at the tip of your tongue, yet the realisation rather simple, stops you. Maybe you've mistranslated 21 year old Hyunjin all along — moulding himself into someone who's convenient around people who only liked him for who he appeared to be, maybe even with all that popularity, parties and glamour, he's just...lonely.
You push your reading glasses into your hair, press your knuckles under your chin and hum in consent.
He shifts in his seat, "Have you ever... been in love?"
You release an amused huff. Let your eyes linger on him for a long minute.
"Once."
Hyunjin half expects you to laugh. Poke fun at him for his melodramatic backstory. That's the sole reason why he doesn't tell his friends (funny, for people he considers close, they seem to know not much about him or care to know, that is. ). But you... you look at him with something in your eyes that tells him the rubbish reasons he posited makes all the sense in the world. Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.
 Midnight rendezvous.
As someone who has lived a fairly extraordinary life, Hwang Hyunjin's bucket list is bafflingly ordinary. He's more of a finding joy in small things kind of a person, punctilious at best.
Things change. People notice. They hesitate, whisper about you and last night while you were out on last minute cheap wine run, the grocerer, a girl who looks around sixteen asks you if you're dating Hyunjin. Underneath the thinly veiled curiousity, there's something like anger dripping from her words.
You furrow your eyebrows in simple insinuation that it's weird for a stranger to take interest in your life. Maybe it was written on your face, the fact that you're a dying man's beck and call is for reasons far more complicated than it looks.
You go to his parties. Greet him as a friend would and not just for the sake of maintaining formalities. He comes to the library more times than he does, waits for you to get off work so you can check something off the list at least. People notice. People understand. Hyunjin's different around you. He's bright, talkative when he forgets to contain himself. You sense your heart swelling with pride just at the understanding that he can be himself around you.
You drive to the beach, sit in your trunk and drink straight out of the bottle.
Hyunjin laughs a little. Suspends his feet in the air. With time, he's gotten paler, exhausted. "Rough day?"
You hum.
"Very. Our children's collection is usually low in stock around the weekends."
Hyunjin crosses his arms over his chest. Curious.
"And?"
"And if I say I got yelled at by a toddler would you believe me?"
Hyunjin feigns contemplation, even with the realisation that his body is becoming less and less cooperative, he manages to remain perfectly cheerful.
"I can actually," he grins, "At that age, I was a real pain in the ass."
"Were?"
Your smile is just a slight curl against the bottle's mouth as he grumbles under his breath about your 'insensitive' remark.
You think of your life after Hyunjin, think of his absence like a gaping hole you'll never be able to fill out. It makes you sick to your stomach.
Bake something from scratch.
Hyunjin's face twists in apparent thought, eyebrows rising. A pink tongue poked against his cheek, whilst he chews carefully, trying really hard not to flash an accidental reaction whilst you clasp your butter and oat flour soiled hands together, some of the batter on your cheek, neck to anticipate his answer like your will to live depends on it.
You ask yourself how it got to this. Why you didn't care that you were awake so early on a Sunday morning with flour powdering every kitchen appliance in sight in spite of being awfully restrictive about who you let into your kitchen. But it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter because it's nice like this.
Hyunjin has his hair pulled away from his bare face, a mole under his eye, a small birthmark on the back of his ear.
When you first met, you thought he was a kind of handsome that couldn't be real. Something formidable about it. Only destined to exist behind fuzzy television screens and flashy magazines.
But in retrospect, you realise, that that's not true at all. 
If you look close enough, if you really pay attention, there's a softness underneath, something goofy, something warm, the sharp jut of his nose circling into a soft button, his eyes are big, black and his mouth jutted out into a natural pout, he looks innocent, like he doesn't quite realise the extent of his charms.
"It's..." His soft voice pulls you out of your reverie, and you look up to find his eyes glimmering jovially. Every time it surprises you, the lack of regret in them and the abundance of nonchalance. You wonder what it means to love someone like that, to love someone to the point of martyrdom. It shouldn't be like this. "perfect,"
"This is like, the only batch we didn't burn, right?"
You snort, "Yeah." Fully turn to him, "You know what they say, fifth time's the charm."
Hyunjin's laugh, you think, is so contagious that it makes it an imperative to smile in return. In shaky compartments the sound comes, like being 8, laying wide-eyed in a paddling pool and staring up at a crayon blue sky, raindrop rippling beyond all that noiseless water. His eyes curve to upturned crescents, an unconscious hand covering up the seams of his lips whilst he shakes his head. You don't even notice when he starts speaking again.
"Huh?"
"I said you got a little...something..."
You almost lose a fraction of your sanity when his nimble fingers come to wrap around your wrist while you hold onto the spatula employed into the whole snickerdoodle batter mixing business, a liberated hand coming up to gently wipe your cheek. It means everything to you. And nothing to him.
Later, when you're alone at night, really alone, you put your palm to your chest and feel the unsteady beat of your heart. A warning, a reminder. I can't. I can't. I can't.
You hold Hyunjin's hair up. His hands resting on the cold toilet seat, he's whimpering and bleeding. It happens every time he sees Haseul, or something which reminds him of her. Like the song.
This time she's drunk. And it's because she impulsively rises to her toes and presses a tender kiss to Chan's lips.
Hyunjin's just a feet away, across students and solo cups and streaks of neon falling irregularly through his line of sight.
He can never confess, not to her. The last thing Hyunjin wants is for her to feel bad for him. To say she feels the same as an act of service. He tells you. You understand. Somehow... you always understand.
They met in college, Hyunjin and she. And Chan was an upperclassman who seemed to be good at...well everything. At first, he couldn't figure out why it never occured to him before, the fact they were getting together maybe before, after or during the length of their relationship.
Though the answer is simple.
Hyunjin thinks the pillar to good relationships is trust. Call him a sappy romantic or whatever but he had seen true love manifest from it through generations before him and his parents and their parents. To think a different fate was woven for him...used to be unimaginable.
How ironic is that?
Hyunjin presses his cheek against your chest because he doesn't want you to look at him when he cries.
Then for the first time....he tells you he's scared. He's scared of what will happen to him. Of what is happening to him.
He's falling apart.
You cradle him, press him closer to your body like you're trying to put him together. People can't fix each other. Not really. But sometimes... they're worth the try.
"Hey...hey...it's alright," You shush him, run your fingers through his hair. Your voice almost breaking, faltering. Still this, this you mean it with every fibre of your being. "It's okay to be scared."
Self bleach hair.
It's Christmas and you're late for a late night dinner he's putting together. (As reluctant as he was about getting along with Hyunjin, he seems all too eager to make invite him whenever a get together takes effect.)
His apartment smells like floor cleaner. There's a queen sized bed pushed against an electric blue wall, a Fleetwood Mac poster taped to his door, small reading desk where Canon EOS New Kiss rests, polaroids of things checked off the list littered all its wooden surface.
You pick up the only photo he hasn't labelled, it reminds you that your friendship isn't just based off a pursuit. This is natural. Pizza box discarded between you two, on your roof top. It's a little too dark, you're holding a cigarette between your fingers, you're laughing and Hyunjin looks like he's going to complain the minute he's done taking the picture. (And he does.)
You smile, pressing your fingers against it like the touch could transport you to a simpler time.
"Ready to go?"
Hyunjin rakes a tentative hand through his newly dyed hair, grey (a suitable colour he says.). You can tell he's put a lot of effort into cleaning up, his usual hoodies and sweats alternated with a red satin shirt tucked into dark dress pants and a coat of the same colour.  Hyunjin is beautiful. Perhaps even more like this. In fact, the extent of this quality is so Goliath-like that it obliges dolled up attendees to marvel up in awe.  While you fully agree with their unsaid ponderings, you really do, you find yourself missing a less sophisticated version of him. 
"Yeah, but first..." you fish out a wrapped squarish material from the depths of your pocket. Hyunjin's eyes widen, two bunny-like teeth showing for the extent of his grin.
"You got me a present!" He all but rips it out of your hand, shaking the material eagerly. He’s a Christmas person, a supreme holiday enthusiast if you will. The sheer excitement in him projects itself in every physical aspect possible. Slight jumping on the balls of his feet. "It's a cassette...?"
You speak too much, nervous he doesn't like it. "It’s a Christmas mix. I thought...since you like carols. I know it's a little old school, I'm sorry if that’s not what you were hoping for—"
Hyunjin pulls you into a big hug, wrapping his entire body it feels like; his arms around your waist, he squeezes you tighter against him, "Thank you." He whispers into your hair, it's not just about the cassette, you can tell. 
There's a small light bulb dangling from his ceiling, he hasn't fixed it since the first time you pointed it out. You can tell with your eyes closed, you've begun to know more intimately than your own home. It's safe here. A place that deludes you into thinking that he's not running out of time, that even in his absence in the world, whenever you should walk into this room, it would be an imperative to find Hyunjin lazying about in its confines. Familiarity can be quite tricky, can't it?
His gratitude is not unknown to you. It's in the guilty smile that threatens to show every now and then, it's in this and it's in that. In many ways, it is not something you're a stranger to.
And yet the words manage to tears your heart at the seams. Just a little.
 Make a snow angel.
From above, he imagines, he may appear to look like a chunk of cookie dough in an ice cream pint.
The snow is not as comfortable as it appears, its frigid temperature seeps into Hyunjin's clothes (and what feels like his internal organs, if that's even possible). He waves his hands and legs inward, outward.
Your head tilts towards him. Face twisted in annoyance. "You're getting on my wing!" You say. "Have you no respect for personal space?!"
Hyunjin narrows his eyes jovially. And people tell him he's the one with a penchant for theatrics. He leans closer in rebuttal, waving his leg around your design with more purpose.  You give up. Sit on your knees, fumble with the snow. He’s still in the same position. Smug as ever...
"This is what happens when you disrespect your elders." He fake-warns. "Oka—"
What he doesn't anticipate, however, is the snowball you launch on his stupid grinning face. Now it's your turn to laugh. You clutch your stomach and point at him whilst he glares at you having barely managed to blow the snow off of his mouth.
"Oh, you're gonna get it now!"
You let out an animalistic screech, Hyunjin’s already trapped you under his weight, his thighs wound around your waist, hamstringing your plan to escape, now you're merely squirming. His fingers come down to attack your sides, digging into the flesh so mercilessly to the point you’re not sure if you’re laughing or crying. It's like there's a wildfire inside your lungs.
For a moment you forget, you let yourself forget what's to come.
“Alright, alright I’m sorry!” you press your palms against his chest in an attempt to push him off, Hyunjin has a dumb smile on his face that seems to give the impression of a hanger  stuck inside his mouth. But... there's something behind his entertainment as the sound of his laugh dies down, chest heaving with exercise. His smile drops.
You can count each lash, each freckle and line on his face. The dark in his eyes. The pink of his lips. Your sweater's ridden to your ribs. And the warmth of his fingers shifting against your bare skin hits you with an earthshattering force.
Hyunjin kisses you. For a fleeting second, you freeze. Rigid with shock. Then it passes as soon as it comes.
 You let out a noise of content,indubitably grateful that your neighbours forgot to put on their porch light for the night.  See it’s like this, the act of kissing is not as special as is the person himself, you muse, you can kiss anyone, you can touch and be touched by anyone. But none of that truly compares to this. Not when they aren't him.
You’d be lying if you said you never thought about it. Just like you’ve thought about a lot of things. But just the realisation that the boy you’ve harboured in your heart for more complicated reasons than you disclose, to yourself even, touches you with so, so much care...it’s tearing you apart. 
It’s too good to be real.
You suddenly push him away. The tugging and pulling at your heart too much to handle. For the fact remains — Hyunjin doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. You never expected him to. Actually, you've never felt what you feel with that condition in mind either.
See when the feeling of having everything you could ever want is cradled between your palms...it ought to be hard to let go. (Maybe he’s just doing this because he feels bad for you, the little voice in your head says. You listen.)
Hyunjin speaks up first.
“I love Haseul.”  he tells you, but it sounds more like he’s telling himself. “That’s why...that’s why, all this...I love her.” Not you.
You swallow, “I know.” Your hands come up to dust your pants. Hyunjin’s still on his knees, as if the answer to his conflicts are deposited under all the snow. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have done—”
Now you hear it, the hint of pity in his voice. You don’t mean to sound as bitter as you do. Seeing as you’re usually very good at keeping calm , breaking that very reputed front frustrates you even more.
“Look just forget about it, okay? We don’t have to talk about this.”
Hyunjin looks like he didn’t expect this side of you to exist. At least, you think, at least it got him to stop talking.
Learn to skate.
"If I fall, I'm taking you with me."
"You say it like I have a choice."
Hyunjin shoots you a warning glare even though you can't see. His choppy skidding steps supported by the vice grip he has on your arms. You haven't skated since you were in highschool. But when you're pretty good at it still, the smooth blade of your beaten skates gliding through ice with much dexterity, it's like floating, freeing, the wind hitting your faces, snow catching in your lashes. It's peaceful, you try not to think about the warmth of Hyunjin's arm circling around body, the vague rhythm of his heartbeat against your back. His laboured breaths on your neck. It's torturous. But spending so much time with him has taught you to hide your feelings better.
The park welcomes a large crowd around holiday season, children with toothless grins, tugging onto their mum's coats, small chin resting onto a parents' head, teenagers moving in together in school uniforms. It's the happiest time of the year. When you move past an elderly couple, they smile and tell you make a wonderful couple.
You're just about to make a correction. This puts you in an awkward position... doesn't it?
But then Hyunjin grins toothily and says, Thank you, like it's the most amusing thing in the world. You ignore the wrenching inside your chest.
Hyunjin leans forward, his plump lips brushing against your ear. "Where did you learn to skate so well?!" There's something like excitement in his kiddish laugh aside from admiration. It's not much of a question as it is an exclamation.
"I am pretty good, aren't I?"
He laughs, doesn't let you go. "Yes, yes...really good."
Out of breath, you slow down, move your feet steadily, careful not to lose balance.
"Oh my God! It is you!"
You raise your head, blink against flakes hindering your vision. Jeongin's voice used to be thinner before. As far as you remember. Now it has a weight to it.
You let out a nervous laugh.
"And it's you..."
Jeongin's eyes travel to the arms around your waist, to the stiffened figure behind you and you immediately liberate yourself. Moving to let Hyunjin use your arm as purchase, you don't fail to notice the pinch in his forehead, a frown on his mouth.
"This is my friend Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is Jeongin—"
"We used to go out." Jeongin smiles, forwarding his hand, which is returned with an unenthused shake and a demure reply. Hyunjin never speaks to anyone this way, not even people he claims to hate.
The former male looks to you again, "I was, uh... wondering if you'd like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime."
Things between you and him ended amicably at the event of his departure for further studies, which deprives you of awkward tension which is expected when exes meet.
Besides, a cup of coffee never hurt anyone.
Right?
Without thinking, you nod slowly, "Yeah that sounds good,"
"Text me anytime."
"Sure."
 “I'll be out of your hair then," he beams. "It was very nice meeting you too, Hyunjin."
"Right."
Hyunjin, you realise, has released your arm. He leans on barricades fencing along the skating area, smiling briefly. You know it’s wrong...yet you sense that you almost need him to be upset.
Then he tilts his head back towards you, "He seems like a really nice guy," he whispers, genuinely meaning every word. Your heart sinks. "I see the appeal." Underneath the lurid glare of fairy lights brandished overhead, Hyunjin's ash hair glints like it's threaded out of silver. You wonder what he's thinking.
 Watch every Disney movie ever made.
You never end up texting Jeongin back. Just stalling for when you're ready, you tell yourself. Even though that's not true at all.
"This brings back so many memories. My parents used to belt out A Whole New World with me, like every time we watched Aladdin."
Hyunjin wipes his face with the back of his hand, technically you’re not very sure what he’s saying exactly because he’s mumbling into a paper napkin you've  passed over for the umpteenth time. You find yourself picturing a small but happy family of three, of Hyunjin in Scooby Doo pajamas and gap between his teeth. (Contrary to your previous convictions, he hasn't changed all at much, save for the teeth bit. ) It's cute.
He looks to you expectantly. Can't be the only one telling embarrassing stories.
You shrug, "I had a thing for Simba. Let's just say my mum and dad were nice enough to indulge me."
Hyunjin reaches for the remote and pauses the ending credits of Lady and the Tramp. He turns to you fully now, gives you a judgemental stare. "Simba...?" He says, "Like the...lion?"
"What? It's normal to crush on fictional characters, okay?!"
"Okay,sure," Hyunjin snorts, putting a pillow between you and him so you can't kill him. "furry."
A part of you is tempted, obviously. But the much bigger part is more invested in how he looks happier, healthier. You want to think that means something.
Hyunjin invites you over for movie night. It's getting colder and you keep poking him with your cold feet. There's an extra set of blankets in his cupboard, he informs you, he isn't sharing his with you — and that's when you see it.
The deflated pink donut folded to the side, his and yours sharpie inscribed initials on one side. 
"Found it yet?"
You don't even notice when he comes to stand behind you. So the question effectively makes you jump out of your skin. Hyunjin has a bowl of popcorn pressed to his chest, there's a pink hair band holding his hair away from his forehead. For the lack of a answer he takes it on himself to find the source of your silence. As if you've been caught red handed.
You think this is where he'll ask you to leave, that or he'll least scold you or something. You prepare for the worst.
Hyunjin just smiles, it's a big smile that succeeds in bringing out the small dimple indented on the side of his cheek. You've never noticed before. It's kinda weird. Because when it comes to him, your attention hardly ever falters.
"You probably don't remember. That’s from Seungmin's 15th birthday,"
You want to scoff under your breath. All this time you had told yourself that you were the only one to be affected by your estranged friendship growing up. Now...the same logic colours you every bit of ridiculous. 
You blink away, swallowing. Voice solemn.
"I remember." Hyunjin's gaze is heavy on your shoulders. An emotion you can't quite put a finger on crosses his delicate features. It's something between surprise and relief... something else too. You don’t understand it. 
It's disconcerting that he can’t remember the last time he got sick. Not the usual discomfort inside his chest, not the blood, not the thorns or petals. Hyunjin's just gotten so used to it, you know? What if he gets his hopes up for no good reason? What if it just comes back?
There's no possible explanation, he explains over a hasty 3 A.M message he had to leave on your answering machine because he's freaking out.
Then Haseul texts Hyunjin, tells him she misses him. Everything's adding up. Everything's falling into place. This is what he wanted, isn't it? She loves him, she finally loves him back. That must be it. He doesn't know what to say. 
But he tells you, and when he does, it sounds a lot like an apology.
— 
Kiss underneath a mistletoe. 
“Chan and I broke up.” She says it like it’s something he should be happy about. So when he remains quiet, it only prompts her to speak more, fill up the big mighty silences. 
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Look Jinnie, I know I made a mistake, but...can’t you give a second chance? Just this once?”
Hyunjin has thought about this particular moment a lot. Kissing her instead of producing a response, pulling her off of her feet and mumbling of course, of course, of course. Back then, there were little doubts in his head pertaining to her, back then he believed that she was the only one for him. The love of his life at the wrong time, in the wrong place.
Now...something doesn’t feel right. 
The thing about wounds, sometimes, of the heart in particular, is when they close up, it’s hard to make head or tails of the kind of person you become in their wake. Hard to adjust. Like when he suddenly shot up 7 inches in ninth grade, a late bloomer at that, and the weight of his new sneakers felt..odd.
He glances at her and also understands what it’s like to be lonely, the constant need to compensate for it by grasping at the last straw. He used to be in her shoes too. This isn’t any different.  Albeit, he isn’t exactly taken by her presence. Just that he doesn’t know if what he’s doing is right. He looks over your table a few feet away from where he’s standing. Having gone out to take a call. You notice his absence and then from your seat, do your best to locate him. (he thinks of kissing you on a bed of snow, thinks of the sizzle of your skates against ice, thinks of his list on a coffee cup and his pink water donut and it’s okay to be scared. Why did it have to be you of all people, through everything? It’s not really a work of coincidence. Not at all actually.
  Maybe he just wanted it to be you.)
When your eyes do lock...seeing him with his hands in his pockets, her standing beyond the barrier as she tries to say something, you smile, even if it’s a little sad. Hyunjin thinks to the conversation some nights before. Thinks of you reminding him that there's nothing to lose at this point, that he should do what his heart tells him. That it’ll be alright, if he just takes a leap of faith. Hyunjin smiles back. Through the glassy exterior and mini water fountains running down its slanted form. The realisation is not as dramatic as he thought. It’s just late.
 He tears off the false mistletoe decoration glued along the periphery of an arch.
And like always.
He takes your advice.
— 
Cohorts of guests pour into the colossal hotel, heads turning in quiet admiration for bejeweled arches breaking out against buttery white architecture, the roof is impossibly naked, translucent glass baring a starlit sky to your watchful eyes. Showing little mercy to a frail chute held over your head,costumed characters wade through oceans of gossamer, twinkling silver and swaying movements to slow jazz. You prop a heeled foot up on the bar platform, which strangely resembles a pedestal, in a futile attempt to catch your breath, with clammy digits settled atop the risky surface of a marbled counter. A soft voice speaks over the ambience, uttering your name with much care. You lift your head. And there he is.
Jisung is scouring through the Spotify playlist you’ve put together for New Year’s Eve. He’s complaining about the lack of Beyoncé while your friends go around the buffet table. When he calls you, you’re sipping your drink, laughing at something Changbin is saying, his eyes brighten just at the sound of your laugh.  Hyunjin isn’t surprised to see his friend taking a liking of you even though he hardly knows you. That’s just the effect you have on people.
Excusing yourself, you allow him to walk you to a less densely populated area where a stone pillar faces expensive paintings of nameless painters. With the effect of alcohol settling in and your inhibitions effectively lowered, your steps sway a little. You lean against the massive build rising from tiled floor. “So what’s up?” you murmur, the lump in your throat thickening just at the thought of him speaking the good news into existence. “I take it went well?”
 Hyunjin doesn't answer. He looks distracted for a bit. Then in an instant he snaps out of his daze. “What did you mean when you said ‘once’?”
Your brows come together in inquiry.
“What?”
"When I asked you if you have ever been in love, you said ‘once’." He persists, his fingers come up to your shoulder, grazing slightly as if they’re trying to carve out words against the skin. "You weren’t talking about Jeongin.”
He knows. He’s always known. Hyunjin can’t believe he’s been so stupid.
“Took you long enough.” You let out a sardonic laugh.“Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”
"It matters to me..." Hyunjin sounds offended, you gather, but he manages to quell his temper for the sake of coaxing your confession. Is he purposely embarrassing you?  "I don’t think...I love Haseul anymore...I didn’t realise...I haven’t for a long time."  
A big chandelier beams over withering plants pushed against the ceiling, in this poor supply of light, you can tell exactly how he looks, eyes glimmering adoringly, you've spent something-teen years of your life wondering what it's supposed to mean. And it still manages to confuse you.
"Why are you telling me this?" you ask, albeit you already know.  Because funnily enough, before he got his braces removed and dyed his hair a scandalous blonde, before bucket lists and heartbreak, he was just the boy who told you he liked your stupid reindeer sweater even though it had officially made you the 7th grade laughing stock. You remember being fifteen and in love with Hyunjin. And you've never actually stopped. You need to hear it to believe it.
It drives you crazy. The way Hyunjin brushes his fingers against your cheek, shifting strands away from your eyes. But you can't help it, you've always wanted this. You lean into the caress, peering up at him as his large hand cups your jaw, thumb traversing from your tilted chin to your glossy lips like he's trying to smooth out all the creases. His voice is small, a whisper.
"Because I need you to know I think I’m falling in love with you.” he says. His palm opens and there’s a plastic mistletoe nestled between his fingers. You’re smiling and sniffling whilst his forehead comes to press against yours. Hyunjin grins. “And there’s still one last item on my list.”
“Are you seriously asking me to land one on you now?”
“Oh hell yeah.”
— 
"Move."
You press your fingers against the slick, sweaty skin.
In rebuttal, Hyunjin grumbles under his breath. Only half awake, half aware that he was mumbling in his sleep. His naked chest seems to be, if it’s even possible, glued to your bare front as he sprawls out like a starfish over your body, using his gangly arms to accommodate the strange position.
Though and you know he knows it too — it’s anything but uncomfortable.
See by now, you aren't exactly a stranger to Hyunjin's sleeping habits. Or really, any habits of his.
All the windows are cracked open, moonlight percolating through a thin sheet of curtains in rendering evidence that it’s still night time. You can make out the faint sound of  honking in the distance, a few stray dogs here and there, probably producing strings of complaints about the blatantly unbearable heat.
The strong stench of sweat and an aftermath of what happened before is a quick reminder of where you are, what you’re doing and that your arm’s going cold for a lack of circulation under his weight. Beads of sweat collected against his skin and trickle down the side of your face, the crook of your neck, which only prompts you to apply more force to the pads of your index and pointer — albeit it did nothing to move him, "Gross." You groan. "You're sweating like a pig!"
This comment, of all the things you've tried to get him to sleep on his side, succeeds in making Hyunjin raise his head, his grey hair matted down, a few rogue strands pushed out to fall over the unamused look in his eyes.
In an unprecedented minute of absolute clarity, something inside your stomach started to churn at the shocking sight. You’re impossibly, absolutely and nauseatingly in love with Hwang Hyunjin and the funny thing is, you don’t have to think twice to know he is too.
"Gross?" Hyunjin lowers his face to brush his pouted lips along your jaw, grinning when you let out a shaky but involuntary breath and as if he is looking to make a point with his digits traversing from your bare stomach, just along the hem of your underwear,   "After all that?"
"I hate you." You say — but more like, stutter. The sound of his giggles eliciting a strange sensation in you, reverberating against your chest, knocking against his ribs and your skin, like it’s trying to reach out to you, like your bodies insist on melding into one.
"I don’t think you’re being honest, baby." He laughs, squeezing your side, coming up to plant a warm palm to your butt to repeat the action, which in turn, drew a mewl from you. “Because you looove me.” Hyunjin smirks, his finger thumbing along your throat to your chin. You think this is what all those great poets meant in endless litanies of lovers torn apart by time and war woven together in a simple caress, like a longing, like a secret. Guarded from prying eyes, greedy hands, and you keep it, you keep it. For him. With him.
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eliemo · 3 years
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Permafrost: Chapter 2
Summary: After Virgil agrees to follow Roman into the Imagination, a shift in the weather and an unfortunate misstep sends Virgil plummeting into uncharted waters. If only it didn’t take a matter of life or death and a race against time to realize the Prince might not hate him after all.
TW: Drowning, effects of severe cold, steps of CPR 
Notes: Romantic Prinxiety (pre relationship) I tried to make the effects in this chapter as realistic as possible but if some things are inaccurate no they aren’t
Permafrost taglist: @im-an-anxious-wreck @snowyfires @the-sympathetic-villain @my-life-is-an-artistic-mess @itsjust-la-me @ray-does-stuff @brokaw22 @johnlaurensintheplacetobe @teamplutoforlife @myrandomfandoms12 @riverdoesbadart
Part 1 Part 3 Part 4
Roman knew his role, and he played it well. He was the hero, charging into battle and adventures without a second thought, smiling in the face of bloodthirsty beasts with his sword at his side. Princes weren’t cowards. 
But when Virgil lost his grip and went under, Roman had never been so scared in his entire life. 
“Virgil!” 
He’d been so close, finally dropping to his knees on the unsteady ice and desperately reaching out, fingers just brushing freezing cold skin when the current took advantage of Virgil’s rapidly waning strength and pulled him under. 
Roman’s own scream, hollow and empty and terrified, echoed right back at him, thrown in his face to remind him that he’d been too slow- 
He pushed his own thoughts aside (he could blame himself later. God why hadn’t he been faster?) and plunged his arm into the water until he was shoulder deep, hissing against the sudden sting of the cold. 
But Roman didn’t have the place to complain, not when Virgil had just been completely submerged right in front of him. 
It had all happened so fast, Roman reaching into the violent river less than a second after Virgil disappeared, so maybe- maybe there was still enough time. Please please please let him be fast enough-
His fingers found something soft and solid, just barely managing to grab onto what he was almost positive was Virgil’s hoodie (please please let it be Virgil’s hoodie) before it was swept away completely. 
He was almost yanked into the water himself by the force of the current, the river fighting relentlessly to pry Virgil away, and Roman felt a sudden rush of irrational anger. 
He wasn’t sure where it came from, something defiant and protective that wrapped around his chest- something that went deeper than his desire to be someone’s hero. Because he was Creativity, and this was his realm. It didn’t get to take anything from him. 
It didn’t get to take Virgil. 
Roman reared back, mind almost blank as he fought against the water and pulled Virgil back towards the surface, heart skipping a beat when he finally caught a glimpse of purple hair floating in the freezing water. 
He hadn’t lost him. He was ok, he would be ok, Roman would make sure of it. Virgil was not going to die because Roman had been a little too eager to spend time with the recently accepted side. 
He moved closer to the edge, forcing himself to ignore the way the already unstable ice creaked dangerously, letting out a sky breath when he was able to get two hands hooked under Virgil's shoulders.
It was only then, pulling against the weight of the water trying to drag them both down, that he realized Virgil wasn’t fighting back. He was perfectly still, no more kicking or struggling as the current kept him under. 
No. No no no. He wasn’t too late. He wasn’t too late. Virgil would be fine. 
Roman honestly wasn’t sure how he managed to gain the upper hand in his fight with the current. It was strength he doubted he could have harnessed under any other circumstance, a sudden rush of adrenaline he imagined Thomas got from Virgil sometimes right before rushing on stage and pouring his heart out in front of an audience. 
Maybe it was the last of Virgil’s strength bleeding into Roman’s determination, a last desperate attempt to help save his own life. The two of them had always been a good team, even if they hadn’t realized it sooner. 
Virgil finally broke the surface, Romans’s arms wrapped firmly around his chest as he dragged him onto the ice, terrified he would lose his grip and let Virgil slip through his hands when they were so close to being safe. 
There was no gasp for air, no coughing or sputtering as he choked and spat out water. Virgil was out of the river, but he was still unmoving and silent, lips and fingertips tinged an alarming shade of blue. 
But that was ok. It was ok! (It wasn’t ok- it was the farthest thing from ok.) The ice creaked again, shifting a bit under the added weight, and Roman forced himself to move before he got them both killed. 
“You’re ok,” Roman said, despite Virgil remaining limp and unresponsive as he carefully scooped the anxious side up off the ground. He had to do something to fill the suffocating silence. “You’re ok, you’re fine. I’ve got you. You’re ok.” 
The ice was definitely unsteady as Roman brought them back to the surrounding snow, but it thankfully didn’t crack or give way any further. Apparently Virgil had managed to find the most unstable chunk in what could easily be the deepest part of the lake.
And Roman had kept walking. Roman had teased and waved off his panic. And then when he realized what had happened, when he’d heard the genuine terror in Virgil’s voice, it had already been too late. He’d been too far away.
But Virgil was in his arms now. Virgil was...he was limp against Roman’s chest, river water leaking from his mouth, and he wasn’t breathing. He wasn’t breathing. 
He pushed down his panic, even as his head spun and his hands shook from more than just the cold, carefully setting Virgil down in the snow against the nearest tree trunk, the bare twisted branches offering a bit of shelter from the snowfall. 
Virgil was horribly pale, even more than usual, and Roman hated how he blended in with the ground, everything a startling shade of white save for the heavy tint of blue his lips had gained. 
Roman reached forward with shaking hands, holding his breath as he pressed two fingers against the ice cold skin below Virgil’s jaw, searching frantically for a pulse while his eyes welled up with tears. 
There was nothing there. There was nothing, Virgil didn’t have a pulse, and Roman wanted to sob. “Hang on,” he whispered to no one, because he wasn’t sure what to say when his friend looked like a corpse. “Just hang on, Virge.” 
Before he could stare too long and spiral into worry, because Virgil’s face should never look so lifeless, Roman squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to try and recall what Logan taught them to do in a situation like this. 
It had been years ago, and Roman had decided the lesson was boring, unnecessary, and not worth his attention. And of course, now it was a matter of life and death, and he was struggling to remember a word Logan had said. 
It had been Virgil’s idea for Logan to teach them all how to perform CPR. “You never know what could happen. It’s just better to be prepared.” He’d insisted.
Back then, Roman had chalked it up to Anxiety just trying to ruin their fun and keep everyone paranoid for his own twisted amusement. He really made himself sick sometimes. 
 If Virgil was awake right now, he would be rolling his eyes and teasing him for being such a stubborn idiot. Virgil had always just been trying to help. To keep them all safe. And Roman had always responded with suspicion and hostility. 
But he wasn’t awake, and if Roman didn’t remember this stupid lecture Logan had given, he might never wake up again. 
Roman racked his brain as hard as he could, his eyes squeezed shut as he fought to picture Logan’s voice. After pulling someone from the water you have to…you have to move them…on their back! 
Roman rushed to move Virgil so he was laying down, working quickly yet handling the anxious side as if he were made of glass. He slowly and carefully placed him flat on his back, making sure he didn’t hit his head on the ground. 
Ok, first step finished. Roman closed his eyes again as he reached into his memory for what to do next. He had to put his hands- no, his palms- on Virgil’s stomach. His stomach? No, it was...it was...his chest? His chest! 
Roman wished more than anything Virgil was over his shoulder, gently poking fun at the Prince’s scrambled thoughts. 
But he wasn’t, and Roman unzipped the soaking wet hoodie to place his hands on Virgil’s chest, one hand crossed over the other, mirroring the way he remembered Logan had positioned his own hands on the practice dummy he’d made Roman conjure.
Now, all he had to do was push down to the beat of ‘Stayin’ Alive’, just like The Office taught him, and then move to tilt Virgil’s head back, pinch his nose closed, and breathe for him until the anxious side’s chest could rise on its own. 
Roman wasted no time starting the motions. He hummed the tune under his breath to keep the rhythm, quickly deciding that once this was over he would never be able to hear that song again. 
But that didn’t matter right now. Right now he just needed Virgil to breathe. 
But...but he wasn’t. Roman lost track of how many times he pressed down on Virgil’s chest, how many times he repeated that song over and over in his head, the compressions getting a little bit more desperate every time.
 He lost count of how many times he leaned over his friend to send a breath rattling down his throat, trembling and lightheaded as he touched Virgil’s frigid skin, only able to silently hope his lungs would get the message and bring him back. 
“Come on, Virgil,” he found himself pleading, vision obscured by gathering tears. “Come on, wake up! You can do it, I know you can do it. Just come back, ok? You’re gonna be ok, just breathe! Please, Virgil please. We...I can’t lose you! You have to wake up!” 
Was he doing something wrong? Had he just been too late? Too slow? Too stupid? If it was anyone else, Vigil would have already been awake by now, conscious and breathing. 
...If it were anyone else, Virgil wouldn’t have fallen in the lake at all. Virgil wouldn’t even be here. He’d be warm and safe in someone else’s arms and Roman wouldn’t be kneeling in the snow, begging him to open his eyes.
He needed Virgil to wake up. He needed him. It had taken him so long to see it, pushing it down and covering it up with insults and nicknames and denial, but now...now Roman didn’t think he could handle losing Virgil. 
He couldn’t lose Virgil’s voice, his smile, the way the whole world seemed brighter when Roman got the anxious side to laugh. Virgil was kind and sharp and funny, and he cared so much. He was...he was perfect, and Roman--
Virgil suddenly jolted under his hands, making a horrible sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a cough, eyes flying open in panic as he fought and struggled for air he couldn’t get. 
Roman’s cry of relief came out as something closer to a sob, but he couldn’t find it in him to care, scrambling off of Virgil and not bothering to wipe the tears from his face.
 Prince thankfully had the sense to turn Virgil on his side to keep him from choking, wincing at the string of wet coughs and hacking coming from the soaked figure in the snow. 
It sounded horrible, Virgil’s breaths coming in strangled wheezes as he coughed and spewed up what looked like half the river, but right now it was the most beautiful noise Roman had ever heard. 
He couldn’t imagine how much pain the other side was in right now, every breath an agonized and confused fight for air, but it at least meant Virgil was alive. 
“You’re ok,” Roman said, voice still unsteady and raw from crying. “Hey, you’re ok, you’re alright. Just let it out, you’re doing great.” 
Virgil was obviously too busy throwing up water to respond, and Roman suddenly had no idea what he was supposed to do. 
“I’m here,” he offered, tentatively scooting closer, terrified he would just make everything worse. “You’re ok, Virgil. It’s ok.” 
He carefully placed a hand on Virgil’s back, rubbing small circles in between his shoulder blades. The hoodie was just as soaked as the rest of him, heavy and cold and probably clinging to his skin. It was impossible not to notice how hard Virgil was shaking, teeth chattering so much Roman could hear it over the wind. 
Gosh, Virgil must be freezing. 
“R- Ro...R-Roman.” He coughed again, and Roman wrapped an arm around him to keep Virgil from falling flat on his face. “R-Roman--”
“Shh, I’ve got you.” He pulled Virgil back to lean against his chest, frowning at how the hoodie still dripped with icy water. “I’m gonna help you, ok? We’re gonna get you warmed up.” 
Roman moved to take the lapels of the hoodie, gently trying to slide it off the shivering side, tearing up again when Virgil made a noise of protest, scared and small. He tried to cling onto the garment, but his hands were too unsteady to get a good grip. 
“I know,” Roman said. “But the hoodie’s soaked, Virge. It’s just making things worse, I need to get it off.” 
Either Virgil understood and stopped fighting, or he didn’t have the strength to struggle anymore, but he dropped his arms and leaned even more into the Prince’s side. He just hoped Virgil recognized Roman was trying to help. 
The hoodie wasn’t easy to get off, the cloth clinging to Virgil’s bare arms, the anxious side whimpering when the wind hit his skin. “P-please, please d-don’t...Roman--” 
“I know.” God, Virgil was barely able to get his words out through his own chattering teeth. “I know it’s cold, but just hang in there. Please.” 
Roman wasted no time once the hoodie was off. He quickly laid it out beside them on the snow, hoping the wind would at least do something to dry it off, and repositioned himself slightly, one hand still wrapped carefully around Virgil’s chest. 
He detached his red sash first, tossing it carelessly into the snow and vowing not to leave it, or the hoodie, behind. It took a few seconds, Virgil still leaned heavily up against him, but Roman managed to shrug off his white jacket, shuddering when that left him in just a black t-shirt. 
It was freezing, the ruthless wind like a flurry of knives against his skin, but Roman forced himself to grit his teeth and ignore it. If he was cold, he couldn’t imagine how it must feel to be soaking wet. 
And Virgil was probably aching and bruised from the compressions…
“Here,” Roman said, heart dropping at the fear and confusion in Virgil’s cloudy eyes. “Put this on, alright? You’re gonna be ok.” 
Virgil made another quiet, indecipherable noise but didn’t protest when Roman draped the jacket over his shoulders, and the prince was able to help guide his hands through the slightly too big sleeves. 
Any other time, under any other circumstances, Roman imagined seeing the anxious side wearing the prince’s jacket would be something that would leave them both smiling like idiots, Roman left trying in vain to hide his rising blush. 
Now, it was just a desperate act to keep Virgil alive. 
Roman wrapped his arms around him and pulled Virgil close to his chest, desperate to offer as much warmth as he could, the shivering from the other side still beyond alarming. At least his lips and fingertips no longer held that terrifying shade of blue. 
He shut his eyes for a moment, dropping his forehead to rest against Virgil’s soaking wet hair, trying to figure out what on earth he was supposed to do. They needed to move, to get Virgil back home safe as soon as possible, but it was still another forty minutes or so to the Imagination door.
He never should have brought Virgil so far out, not with how unpredictable his realm could be. Roman had just...wanted an excuse to spend more time with the anxious side. 
He’d wanted Virgil to see him be the hero. For once, he’d wanted to be the hero in Virgil’s eyes, not just Thomas’s. He’d been so stupid. 
They couldn’t stay here, not while the snow continued to fall and the wind showed no sign of stopping. 
He’d carry Virgil the entire way if he had to, he knew that for sure. But the longer the storm kept up, the temperature slowly but surely dropping further, the more it was looking like he’d have to. They couldn’t afford to move slowly. 
He didn’t know what he’d been silently hoping for. Maybe for the weather to become warm again, or for Virgil to magically get better, to sit up with his skin back to its normal paleness and make a snarky comment about Roman worrying too much.
“Jeez, are you trying to steal my job, Princey?” he’d ask, smirking when Roman sputtered and blushed under the accusation. God, he’d give anything to have Virgil back to normal. 
But the sky wasn't clear, Virgil’s declining health only seemed to be getting worse, and Roman knew that the longer he waited, the worse it would only get. 
“Hey, we need to keep moving,” Roman said, hoping Virgil could understand him. “You still with me? I’m gonna pick you up, alright?” 
He felt Virgil cough again, still a broken rattling sound that sent dread clawing up Roman’s throat, and he watched the anxious side reach up to grab at the material of the jacket wrapped around him. 
“M’ here,” he said, and he was clearly trying so hard to speak clearly. “I- I can...I c-can walk.” 
“Let me help you,” Roman insisted, even as his heart swelled with pride. He wondered if Virgil recognized his own bravery. “We’ll be home soon.” 
He carefully maneuvered one of Virgil’s arms over his shoulder and counted to three under his breath before slowly lifting the anxious side off the ground. 
He froze immediately when Virgil let out a strangled gasp, broken up immediately by ragged coughs, his shivering body going tense as his free hand flew to his stomach, trying to wrap his arm around himself. 
“F-fuck,” Virgil hissed when he had his breath back, and Roman eased them both back into the snow when his knees started to buckle. “Ow, ow, ow, what...Ro-Roman--” 
“I’m here,” Roman said. “I’m right here, Virgil. What hurts?” 
“R-r-ribs, and- and I...I don’t...what’re we--?” 
“Shoot, uh...I think I did that.” Oh god, he’d hurt Virgil. He’d really messed up everything today, hadn’t he? “I had to give you CPR.” 
“You...I- I don’t- why?” 
“You fell in the river,” Roman explained, trying not to panic at Virgil’s sudden memory loss. That was normal, right? He was just a little confused, no reason to freak out yet. “Remember? I think the cold really got to you and- and I’m...I’m really sorry. God, I’m so sorry Virgil. I tried to get to you but--”
“Y-you-” Another cough, just as terrifying as all the others. “-you pulled m-me up?” 
Roman frowned, hating the bewildered confusion in Virgil’s voice. “I did. Of course I did. But you...you weren’t breathing and I couldn’t find a pulse and I...I thought you were...I thought--” 
“Well I- I’m f-fine,” Virgil rasped, dangerously pale and shivering and the farthest thing from fine. “Y-you...you really are my hero huh, P-Princey?” 
It was like something curled around Roman’s chest, squeezing at his heart so suddenly he felt a little lightheaded. Virgil’s hero. He wanted so badly to believe that. 
But he couldn’t- not when Virgil was trembling in his arms and struggling to form a single sentence. 
“I’m getting you home,” Roman vowed, holding the anxious side just a little bit tighter. “I promise you that. Just...let me carry you. Please.” 
Virgil slumped, his shaky grip growing almost desperate- despite still being painfully weak- but he nodded against Roman’s chest. “It’s...it’ s-so cold.” 
Roman didn’t know how much time had passed since he had put his own jacket on Virgil, but while it hadn’t seemed to do much to improve Virgil’s condition, the lack of protection was definitely getting to Roman.
He found he didn’t mind though, not when Virgil was awake and breathing, aware enough to talk just a little. But he knew it was only a matter of time until their luck ran out.  
Roman carefully repositioned the anxious side still curled in his arms so he could better hold him in a bridal carry, shushing him gently when Virgil made a pained sound as the Prince stood, stumbling slightly in the thick snow. 
“I know,” Roman said, barely audible over the howling wind. “Just hang in there, Stormcloud. We’ll be home before you know it. We’re so close, Virgil.”  
He started forward again, hoping Virgil wasn’t aware enough to catch on to Roman’s own rising anxiety. 
399 notes · View notes
gureishi · 3 years
Note
dude okay so this is kinda specific and also probably not very original or anything ekdbsisj
but-
how do you think saeyoung would react/feel if (during the apartment days), his MC started crying (or almost) after that one (or maybe two? cant remember, and im only halfway through day 7 on the current playthroygh) time where he just... got really mad n yelled... hhh his expression was scary,,
getting yelled out is already a lil agitating for me... and I know i would be automatically already a lil sensitive cos i would be nervous from the last few days (rsd would nerf me) -- meaning i would be a lil more emotional/easily affected than usual ;;;
on top of that ive never had a guy yell at me djvdjdj so it would be a lil scary, i wont lie.
wanna clarify: the crying wouldn't be on purpose lol, i would definitely try n hide it. easier said then done though... OTL
jsvfsh this is so long n specific n kinda personal to me?? im sure im not alone regarding the general idea though. anyways jdbdjs sorry lolol-
and im jus asking for your thoughts or maybe HCs? whichever you feel works best!
also sorry if we've talked about this before i have a bad memory-
[417]
btw ur amazing love u
Love you too dear Four! And oh boy do I relate to this. I do not handle being yelled at well and would, without a doubt, cry multiple times in this scenario (/ω\)
Saeyoung reacting to his MC crying in the apartment 
He’s never felt like this before. He sort of thought he’d been through it all: wrung every last bit of love and fear and desperation out of himself till there was nothing left but the things that make him useful: his clever hands and his brilliant (weary) mind.
When you speak to him so tenderly—hovering just at the edge of his space, eyes full of something he can’t (won’t) identify—he feels like his heart is too big for his body, and he can’t think straight, or see straight, or make his miserable mind form the words he needs to say to you.
He’s angry because he can’t understand why you’re gazing at him that way, like you’d do anything to ease the pounding in his skull; he’s angry because none of his words are getting through to you, and he doesn’t know how to make you understand that he’s not the person he made you believe he was. And he is angry because he knows, without a doubt, that he’s in far too deep already, and that if anything were to happen to you now, his desperate heart would break for good.
He knows how to lie (it is, in his opinion, the only real skill he has)—so he does. He tells you he wishes you’d leave him alone—tells you to stay away—tells you he feels nothing for you at all. He raises his voice (but oh, as the stinging words tear from his throat his heart wants to crawl out of his skin and throw itself into your arms).
You say nothing. Good, he thinks; and he forces his attention back to his screen (eyes blurry, hands shaking). He hears the sound of your footsteps as you retreat to the farthest corner of the apartment, and something inside him seems to go with you—since the very first time he heard your voice, he thinks, a part of him is always with you. With every day that goes by, that part gets bigger: soon, there will be nothing left of him at all.
With his eyes trained on the screen (and most of his attention on you), he hears the tiny sounds you’re making: shifting, he thinks at first, getting comfortable. Maybe even going to sleep.
But no: you are so quiet only somebody with senses that have been heightened from years of training (years of hiding, and fleeing, and fighting for his life) would hear. But there’s a whimper—a vague, almost indistinct sniffling.
Oh no. Oh god.
Oh god oh god oh god.
Years of agency training have taught him to turn his back on people who are begging, or whining, or crying—but he’s never been any good at it.
And this is you: and his scrambled mind races, his heart drumming so loud against his ribs he is sure you can hear it. He would, he thinks wildly, do absolutely anything in the world to never hear you make such a miserable sound again.
Before he realizes what he’s doing, he stands. The room spins; he’s weak, and hungry, and angry, and scared; his stomach is in knots and the darkened room seems to tilt sideways around him. 
You don’t seem to have noticed that he’s moved; you’re hiding your face in your shirt, back turned to him—and you are still (so very still). He doesn’t remember how to breathe.
“Uh...” he says, and the sound echoes horribly in the dull, sparsely furnished room. You say nothing. He clears his throat, takes an unsteady step toward you. He’s not thinking rationally anymore—not thinking about scaring you off, or keeping you safe. All he wants is to see that look in your eyes again: that soft one, the one that makes his hands and feet feel too big and his skin seem to burn and his breath catch in his throat.
“Are, uh...are you okay?” he rasps. You’re still ignoring him, which is a first; your face is turned away, so he goes to your side, kneeling on the floor beside you. You sniffle. He feels like his heart is going to burst.
“Yeah,” you say—and unlike him, you are not such a good liar. Without meaning to, he reaches for you: finds his fingers (of their own accord) doing what they’ve been itching to do since the moment he first laid eyes on you. He touches your hair—brushing it off your face, tucking it behind you ear.
Your eyes, he thinks (fiercely, irrationally): he needs to see your eyes.
“Don’t believe you,” he says. With a sigh of exasperation, you turn to him: oh, and your eyes are blazing, red-rimmed. And he is the one who has done this to you—he is the monster who has made you suffer.
His mind seems to have driven itself into the ground. Suddenly, he can’t remember how to do anything at all.
But his body moves of its own accord, because his heart has always been eons ahead of his (brilliant and foolish) mind.
“Hey,” he finds himself murmuring, brushing your cheek with his rough fingertips (and he knows he shouldn’t, but now that he’s here, he is finding it almost impossible to resist). “I know,” he says, without even quite understanding what he means. “I know.”
You watch him; and there it is again—just for a moment, that softness deep in your eyes that sets him on fire.
“I’m sorry,” he says, the words springing to his lips before his brain can get in his way. “I’m so, so...I didn’t mean to...I never...”
You shake your head, and your hair falls into your eyes again. He brushes it back, finding that there is nothing—nothing—in the world quite as wonderful as the feeling of your warm skin under his fingers.
“I get it,” you tell him. “You don’t need to apologize.”
“I can’t...” He makes himself take a deep breath, and regrets it instantly as his senses are flooded by the warm, enticing scent of you. He feels you all around him now. “I didn’t mean it,” he says quietly. “Please. I can’t stand to see you making that face.”
You force a watery laugh, and the effort you are making for him is almost too much. His mind races. For a moment, he imagines how it would feel to wrap your small body in his arms—to press his lips to your temple and feel your heart beating against his skin.
“How’s this?” you say. You offer him a passable impression of a smile, and he wants to throw himself at your feet.
“Terrible,” he says. You laugh, and it sounds a tiny bit more believable this time. You are looking at him, and there it is again: that softening in your eyes that makes him think (just for a moment) that there could be a happy ending for him after all.
“I...” he starts. What? He can’t tell you how he feels—what he wants—what he is afraid of. Not here. Not now. Not yet. “Please,” he finds himself whispering. “Can you...just give me a little more time?”
You nod, and there is a strength in you that nearly knocks him off his feet.
“Yeah,” you say: and this time you sound like you mean it.
Against his will, he pushes himself up—makes his way back to his miserable little corner of the room. But he pauses—turns—and you are still waiting, still watching him. Of course you are.
“I’m gonna make it right,” he says, not quite meeting your eyes. Never, he thinks: he will never ever make you cry again.
“I believe you,” you say.
It is the first time anyone has ever told him this.
His heart shivers.
“I won’t let you down,” he says—promises. He means it with all his heart.
217 notes · View notes
cosmic-goddess-leo · 4 years
Text
Familiar Face - Ukai Keishin x Reader
Summary: Ukai catches up with an old friend who has returned to Miyagi after being gone for 7 years.
Word Count: 4469
Warnings: SMUT. If you are uncomfortable with sex then DON’T READ THIS.
Author’s Note: I like dropping hints that I like older men... I like older men. Also, special thanks to the Haiku Writer’s Chat for helping me with this fic! 
Tagging: @cmllnc​ @haik-whoo​
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“And look at this picture! He totally went bald, it’s only been a couple years and he’s completely bald!”
Ukai sighed deeply, trying to tune out Shimada’s and Takinoue’s gossip as he flipped through a magazine at the store counter. 
Shimada had recently made it a point to friend all their old classmates on FaceBook, claiming it would be good to ‘get in touch’ with everyone and set up a reunion.
Ukai was sure it was an attempt to rekindle old flames with their female classmates.
“Why haven’t you joined FaceBook, Ukai? If you join and you friend me, I’ll only be a couple more people away from having our whole class on here!” Shimada exclaimed, continuing to scroll through his feed while Takinoue looked over his shoulder.
“I don’t need a bunch of strangers to know my business,” Ukai replied, not bothering to glance up at them from his magazine, “If they matter, they’ll already know.”
Shimada huffed before returning to his recommended friends list.
A chirp from the phone followed by an excited gasp caused Ukai to give another irritated sigh.
“(Y/n) friended me back!” Shimada said excitedly.
Ukai finally looked up from the reading material, resisting the urge to completely set it aside and attempt to snatch the phone from his friend’s hands.
“Woah! She looks totally different- she messaged me!”
Well, that was enough for Ukai to toss the magazine aside and try to get a look at the phone.
“What? What’d she say?”
“Oh nowww you’re interested!” Shimada huffed, shielding the phone from Ukai’s eyes. “She said she’s moving back to town for work. She wants to meet for dinner and drinks tonight.”
Ukai would never admit to it, but that made his heart drop. He hadn’t seen or heard from (Y/n) in 7 years.
She decided to go to college in the city, meaning she left everything behind. Including Ukai. After being best friends since middle school (and boyfriend and girlfriend their third year of high school) she just left.
It wasn’t like Ukai didn’t understand. He totally understood why she wanted to go. That didn’t make their breakup any easier though.
“Lucky for you, she’s asking me to invite you and Takinoue.” Shimada smiled, typing out his reply to her.
“What are you saying?” Ukai asked, crossing his arms and sitting back in his chair.
“That we’ll see her at 7 at our old spot.” Shimada replied, sending the message before any of them could object. Not that Ukai would.
He would have to haul ass back to the shop from Karasuno, get changed into something presentable, then haul ass to the restaurant. But he would do it if it meant seeing (Y/n) again.
And that is exactly what he did.
He rushed his last words to the team before sprinting out of the gym, leaving the the boys confused and Takeda scrambling to come up with words of encouragement on the spot.
Once Ukai arrived at the restaurant, he was showered and dressed in jeans and a casual button-up. Something to show he tried but not really.
Shimada and Takinoue had seated themselves to face the door, meaning (Y/n)’s back was to Ukai when he arrived. Once the two started to wave Ukai over, (Y/n) turned to look at him and smiled.
Ukai was suddenly 18 years old again; palms sweaty and knees weak from that familiar smile.
“Keishin!” (Y/n) got up from her spot and leapt into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight embrace he wasn’t expecting. “It’s been so long!”
He quickly returned the hug, lifting her off her tip-toes for a moment. “Too long.”
Ukai set her back down, pulling out of the embrace and repressing the blush he had felt creeping up his neck.
The two sat down, all while (Y/n) continued staring at Ukai. “You look so different, look at this hair!” she beamed, lightly tugging on a blonde strand of hair. “You got your ears pierced too!”
“Yeah,” Ukai smiled, scratching at the back of his head, “I went a little overboard after graduation but I think it fits me...” More like after you left...
“Well I love it. It definitely fits you.” (Y/n) smiled, her gaze lingering on him before turning back to her drink.
“Well, let’s toast! To rekindling old friendships!” Takinoue held up his glass, clinking it against the other three.
Ukai watched (Y/n) from the corner of his eye as he sipped at his beer. It was almost room temperature since they ordered it before he arrived, but his thoughts were wandering elsewhere.
It would be way too forward to tell her how beautiful she had gotten in the years she was gone. When they finally got together their third year, she was a budding flower, still beautiful in her own right as a young woman. Now she was fully bloomed, radiant and flawless. A woman.
Rather than spilling his guts to her about how much he missed her and how these past 7 years were agony, Ukai spent the night laughing about old times while also catching up on more recent events.
“You’re really coaching at Karasuno huh? And to think you gave your gramps all that shit for sticking around like that...” (Y/n) smirked, downing the last of her drink.
“This is different, they really needed it.” Ukai smiled, tapping his fingers against his glass.
“You guys really needed it too, though.” she quipped, earning a laugh from Shimada and Takinoue.
“And what about you? You said you came back for work. What work?” Ukai asked, lightly nudging (Y/n) with his elbow.
(Y/n) shrugged, “I’m an athletic trainer and physical therapist. I’m interviewing for a job tomorrow. That’s all I’ll say about it because I don’t want to jinx it.” There was a coy smile playing on her lips. Either it was the alcohol or she was up to something.
“Well good lu-” Ukai was cut off by (Y/n) covering his mouth.
“No! You’ll jinx it!” (Y/n) giggled, keeping her palm firmly against his lips.
Ukai responded in kind by dragging his tongue along her palm, earning a squeal of disgust from (Y/n) as she pulled back.
“Sick! Keep your bodily fluids to yourself!” (Y/n) groaned, wiping her hand on his shirt.
“Need I remind you there was a time when you didn’t mind my spit.” Ukai smirked, looking away from her to hide his slight blush.
“Oh I don’t need any reminders there.” (Y/n) replied, rolling her eyes at him.
“I can’t believe you two dated.” Takinoue sighed, resting his chin on his palm.
Ukai sent a small glare his way.
“N-not as in you two weren’t a good fit! It’s more like... we all kind of expected you both to get together, when it finally happened it was like a dream!” he explained.
“He’s right,” Shimada added, slowly nodding. “No more tip-toeing around each other. No more cat and mouse. Just boom! Ukai and (Y/n)! They’re like an elephant! When they walk into a room it’s like, okay! They’re in there!”
Now there was no hiding the blush on Ukai’s cheeks. He looked down at (Y/n), who had started shuffling in her spot.
“O-okay, judging from his volume I think it’s time to call it a night.” (Y/n) said, checking her phone for the time. “I need to get to bed soonish anyway. Interview’s in the afternoon but I still want time to get ready.”
“I can get him home.” Takinoue said, dropping cash on the table and helping Shimada up. “We’ll catch up again soon.”
Ukai and (Y/n) bid them goodbye as they began fishing for their wallets.
“You back home home? Or have you found a place?” Ukai asked, helping (Y/n) onto her feet once she paid her fair share of the tab.
She shook her head, “Im in a hotel kinda nearby. Thought it would be weird going back to my parents’ place as a 26 year old...”
Ukai chuckled, following her out of the restaurant. “I don’t blame you.”
The two went silent for a bit, shuffling their feet and hesitating to make eye contact.
“...Shimada never could hold his liquor, huh?” Ukai asked, earning a giggle from (Y/n).
“You’d think after all these years he would have learned...” she mused, running a hand through her hair.
They both went silent again until (Y/n) spoke up, her tone conveying an inkling of hope.
“I have to get up early and all but even then... I’m still kind of thirsty...”
Ukai gave her a small smile, “We can get some beer on the house from the shop...?”
(Y/n) smiled back, “I’d like that.”
He offered (Y/n) his arm, hiding his excitement when she linked their arms and began walking with him in the direction of the shop.
He was sure to lock the door behind them, keeping the lights off so they wouldn’t be disturbed. Even though the shop sign read ‘closed,’ some of the Karasuno boys would still try to get in if the lights were on.
“Do we get to drink in the dark the rest of the night?” (Y/n) asked, taking a swig of her drink.
“We can go upstairs... sit in the living room and talk.” Ukai offered, his palms getting sweaty all over again.
Once (Y/n) accepted, he lead her up the staircase in the back of the store, unlocking the door to his flat and letting her enter first.
“Ooooo, bachelor pad.” She teased, looking around the room. It was surprisingly clean, except for the clothes trail towards the shower he had left earlier.
“Nothing to see here!” he shouted, swiping his boxer briefs from off the floor and throwing them into his bedroom.
(Y/n) giggled, turning away to look at the wall decorations he had strung up. Some movie posters, one karasuno poster, and a couple pictures of their friend group in high school.
She paused at a particular photo of the two of them at graduation, smiling fondly at the memory. “Bring a lot of women up here?”
Ukai had been gathering the rest of the clothes on the floor, pausing at the question. “None that are really noteworthy...”
(Y/n) hummed to herself, tearing her eyes away from the picture and making her way to the couch.
“It’s kind of awkward since the town is small... so I’ve kinda stopped doing that.” he explained, retrieving his beer and sitting beside her.
“Kinda?” she asked.
Ukai shrugged, “I’m only human... I slip up and break my own rules every now and then.”
(Y/n) smiled slightly, shaking her head and taking another drink. “Some things never change...” she mumbled against the bottle.
He kept his eyes on her the whole time, tapping his thumb against the glass. “Did you...?”
(Y/n) bit her lip, unwilling to meet his gaze before taking a big swig of her drink.
“You seemed so sure you would before you left... but it still feels like the same (Y/n).” Ukai continued, slowly looking her over.
“Is it bad if I didn’t change?” she asked, staring at a random corner of the room.
“Not at all...” Ukai paused, unable to hold back a sigh before continuing. “It just makes me wonder... why break up if the only thing that really changed was your zip code...”
“I mean- I did change. I grew up, you did too. I just didn’t want it to end badly because of those growing pains.” (Y/n) explained. “Did... did you think it ended badly?”
“N-no, no I didn’t. I’m grateful it ended the way it did, rather than you falling out of love with me or something... Not that you still love me now- I’m just- Ugh! Bottom line, I’m fine with how things happened. It just... stings...”
(Y/n) chewed at her lip, something Ukai knew she did when she was anxious. He just made things super weird, all cuz he wanted closure.
“Do you have any regrets?” she suddenly asked, finally looking up at him.
Ukai sighed softly, slowly nodding his head. “Yeah... just one... I didn’t go after you.... Do you...?”
(Y/n) chuckled softly, turning back to her bottle. “Yeah actually... I didn’t stay with you.”
The two went silent. Ukai hadn’t meant for the conversation to take this turn. He wasn’t even drunk and he was still spilling his guts over a breakup from 7 years ago.
(Y/n) downed the last of her beer, setting the empty bottle on the coffee table before fully facing Ukai. “Can we try something?”
He raised an eyebrow at her, setting his bottle on the coffee table before turning to her.
“You’re going to kiss me. And if we don’t feel anything, I’ll leave and act like it never happened...” (Y/n) explained. It was a simple set of instructions but it had Ukai’s heart ready to jump out of his chest.
“And if we feel something?” He asked.
(Y/n) shrugged. “I dunno. But I won’t leave...”
Ukai took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily to regain his confidence.
“Okay,” he opened his eyes, “I’m ready.”
“You’re kissing your ex-girlfriend, not disarming a bomb.” (Y/n) quipped. 
“Well, now I have to take another deep breath because you broke my concentration.” Ukai complained.
“Will you just hurry-”
Without warning, Ukai cupped (Y/n)’s cheeks and pulled her into a gentle, passionate kiss.
He told himself to keep it simple, but 7 years of repressed feelings suddenly began pouring out into this one intimate moment. Before he knew it, (Y/n) was kissing him back, hands clinging to his shirt and pulling him closer.
(Y/n) brushed her tongue over his lip, earning a moan from Ukai as he pulled her body flush against his.
(Y/n) pulled away for a moment, lightly pushed Ukai to lay on his back, then moved between his legs and flush against him.
Ukai breathlessly pulled her into another kiss, sighing shakily against her lips as his hands roamed her body. He was beginning to regret wearing jeans instead of his usual sweat pants.
(Y/n) tossed his hairband aside and began running her fingers through his hair, causing another moan to bubble from his lips.
No other women made him moan like this. But this was (Y/n). (Y/n) who knew him inside and out. (Y/n) who he knew inside and out.
He brushed his hand through her hair, lightly gripping it and pulling her away, tugging her head to the side and dragging his tongue up her throat. She moaned shakily, gripping his shirt so tight that Ukai thought the buttons might pop off.
The sudden feeling of (Y/n) grinding her hips against Ukai’s had him tugging her hair harder and biting her neck.
(Y/n) whined and began shakily unbuttoning his shirt.
He parted from her neck and moved her to sit up, taking off the button-up and his undershirt.
(Y/n) had gotten busy trying to take off her dress, she almost didn’t notice Ukai’s shirtless body.
She went hot, looking over his amazing physique. He looked nothing like this when they were last together. Something special caught her eye, causing her to smirk once her dress was tossed aside.
“When’d you do this?” she asked, brushing her fingers over one of his pierced nipples. Ukai shivered at her touch. He retaliated by reaching around her and unclasping her bra, tossing it away.
“I told you I went overboard after you left...” he mumbled, kneading her breasts.
(Y/n) moaned shakily, peppering needy kisses against Ukai’s lips. “Take me right here...” she murmured between kisses.
Ukai suddenly flipped their position, getting (Y/n) on her back and straddling her. He pulled his wallet from his back pocket, beginning to take a condom out until (Y/n) stopped him.
“Nuh-uh, I’m on the pill. I’m clean. I want you raw.” She panted, hastily unbuckling his belt.
This was a dream come true.
Ukai threw the wallet aside and tugged off (Y/n)’s panties, stuffing them in the pocket of his jeans before tugging his pants halfway down his thighs.
(Y/n)’s eyes went wide at the sight of him. She gripped the couch cushion as he rubbed his tip against her slit, sighing shakily.
“Maybe I should have stretched first...” (Y/n) breathed, hips twitching as Ukai eased the tip inside of her.
“You’ll get a good stretch from this, angel...” he grunted, her old nickname adding onto the pleasure they were both experiencing.
Ukai eased in deeper, his hips stuttering as (Y/n) dug her nails into his arms. His teeth dug into his bottom lip and his eyes screwed shut. They moaned in unison once he was fully inside of her.
“Kei, if you don’t move...” (Y/n) whined, rolling her hips to gain some friction.
Ukai moaned shakily, slowly rocking his hips against her’s. “Y-you’re as tight as the first time we fucked...”
(Y/n) gasped as Ukai suddenly hit her g-spot, prompting him to thrust faster into that spot he instantly recognized. “Has my angel been waiting for me this whole time?”
She moaned louder, dragging her nails down his arms, earning a symphony of moans from him as well.
Ukai hooked one arm under her leg, spreading her legs wider as he continued plowing into her. He struggled to keep himself propped up with the other hand, shaking hard as (Y/n) began to tighten around him.
He pressed his forehead to hers, growling as she stared into his eyes and clawed at his shoulders.
“Keiiii pleaaaase!” she shrieked, squirming against him.
“T-that’s it, angel. Let me have it...” he groaned, brushing his lips against hers.
(Y/n) screamed shakily, burying her face in Ukai’s neck and biting him.
Ukai came after a few more thrusts, emptying himself inside her while he moaned wildly.
They both panted hard, a wave of euphoria crashing into them in the wake of their orgasms.
(Y/n) tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him into a sloppy kiss.
Once they parted, he stood straight and took off his jeans, standing completely bare in front of (Y/n).
She was slightly confused until he lifted her off the couch and took her to his bedroom. He carefully laid her down before flopping onto the bed beside her.
(Y/n) let out a tired giggle, looking Ukai over as he still struggled to catch his breath.
“I think I have a cramp in my leg...” he groaned.
“Want me to rub it out?” (Y/n) teased, reaching towards him and brushing a strand of hair out of his face.
He slowly shook his head before taking her hand and kissing the tip of her middle finger. “Anymore friction from you and my soul will ascend into heaven.”
(Y/n) sighed softly, relaxing into the mattress and closing her eyes. “I shouldn’t stay... I have my job interview tomorrow.”
Ukai moved closer to her, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. “I have to open the shop up early tomorrow. I’ll wake you up so you have time to go to your hotel and make sure you’re ready... okay?”
(Y/n) slowly nodded, leaning up and kissing him once more.
“I guess this means we still feel something, huh?” Ukai asked, pulling the covers over their bodies.
“I guess so...” (Y/n) smiled, gently hugging his waist. “Maybe you can take me on a proper date tomorrow night... then it can be official.”
He chuckled softly, the need to sleep overcoming his need to say something clever. “Goodnight, (Y/n)...”
“Goodnight, Kei...”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day went by like a breeze for Ukai. He got one last kiss from (Y/n) when she left that morning, along with her new phone number. She didn’t even ask for her panties back.
Ukai wore a hoodie that easily covered the bite mark (Y/n) left him, meaning he wouldn’t have to deal with stupid questions from the boys at Karasuno.
Speaking of the boys, they were responding well to the new drills he and Takeda drew up. They were already showing improvement with their spikes and their serves. It was a perfect day.
Ukai was in the process of taking a swig of water when he heard the gym doors open, followed by a “HEADS UP!” from Noya.
The sound of a volleyball smacking against someone’s arm’s made the gym go silent. Hinata caught the stray ball, looking helplessly at Ukai.
The coach turned to see who had entered and blocked the ball.
He snorted, keeled over, and spat up the water he had been drinking onto the gym floor.
Takeda began slapping his back to help clear his airway as the school’s principal thanked (Y/n) profusely.
Ukai figured she had sidestepped in front of the principal and blocked the ball from smacking him right in the family jewels. She never joined Karasuno’s girl’s team, but she had helped Ukai practice enough to know how to receive a ball.
The principal cleared his throat, regained his composure, and led (Y/n) towards the coaches.
Ukai stood up straight, still struggling to breath as he looked her over. She was wearing a button-up shirt, a pencil skirt and heels. She was like an image out of a sexy librarian fantasy... only this was the real world. This was really happening.
“Coach Ukai, Coach Takeda, I would like to introduce your new athletic trainer!” the principal announced, beaming as Takeda and (Y/n) bowed to one another.
“It’s wonderful to meet-”
“What are you doing here?” Ukai coughed, interrupting Takeda.
(Y/n) smiled bashfully, giving him a small shrug of her shoulders. “I told you at dinner I didn’t want to say more about the job... I coulda jinxed it...”
“Ohhh!” the principal exclaimed, “I don’t know how I didn’t realize you two were classmates! What a wonderful reunion!”
“I did tell you we needed a trainer to come in and help before nationals...” Takeda murmured, nervously shifting where he stood.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it. Her first official day is tomorrow.” The principal left with that, Ukai realizing how silent the gym was as his footsteps got further and further away.
“H-Hey! What are you doing?! Get back to your drills!” he shouted at the team.
The boys got their asses back in gear, stealing glances at the coaches and their new trainer every now and then.
“I’m going to... go... over there...” Takeda stuttered. He quickly bowed to (Y/n) before running to the opposite side of the court.
“Are you really that upset?” (Y/n) frowned.
Ukai sighed softly rubbing at his temples. “No... I just really wish you told me...”
“Well... I didn’t exactly plan on last night-” (Y/n) paused when she noticed one of the boys, Hinata, slowly sidestepping closer to them to listen in on what was happening.
“Get back to spiking or you’ll be on towel duty for a month.” Ukai grumbled.
Hinata squeaked before running back onto the court.
“I didn’t plan on last night to go the way it did. I thought we’d get dinner, go our separate ways, then surprise! I’m here and we get to live out some slowburn fantasy where we fall for each other again.” (Y/n) explained, keeping her voice low.
Ukai sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
He felt (Y/n) slowly place her hand on his arm, wandering until she took his hand in hers. “Please just give me a chance? I want to help you get them to nationals...”
He slowly opens his eyes, groaning at the way she batted her eyes at him.
“Fine.”
(Y/n) smiled wide and hugged him tightly, snickering when he completely flushed red. “This is gonna be so much fun... now introduce me to the team.”
Once their current drill was complete, Ukai called the team over, noting the way the boys eyed (Y/n) with a mix of curiosity and confusion.
“Alright, this is (Y/n). She’s an old friend and she’s going to be our new athletic trainer. She’s gonna do everything in her power to whip you into shape for nationals. So do as she says and we won’t have any issues.”
A couple of the boys raised their hands high.
“Wow, there are questions about that... Tanaka.” Ukai pointed at the redhead.
“Is she your girlfriend?” he asked, no hesitation or shame in his words.
Ukai tensed. (Y/n) snickered.
“N-Not relevant!”
“Is she our Coach Mom now?” Noya piped up.
“No!”
“So you're not our Coach Dad?” Noya asked.
“Of course not!”
“I have a question not having to do with Coach Mom at all!” Hinata shouted.
Ukai breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god. What’s your question?”
“What’s on your neck?”
Ukai went completely red again as (Y/n) tried to stifle her laughter.
“Is that from Coach Mom?” Noya shrieked, grabbing Asahi’s arms and shaking him wildly. “That’s from Coach Mom!”
“It totally is from Coach Mom...” Suga mumbled.
“Don’t encourage them.” Daichi said, nudging Suga.
“THE NEXT PERSON TO CALL (Y/n) COACH MOM HAS TO RUN 50 LAPS!” Ukai yelled, finally silencing the boys.
“L-lets just get back to our drills!” Takeda shouted, ushering the boys back onto the court.
“I just wanted to know what was on his neck...” Hinata pouted, “Did Coach Mom really do that-”
“50 laps Hinata!”
“Awwww! Do I have to, Coach Mom?!”
“100 LAPS!”
“No!” (Y/n) barked, lightly pushing Ukai before turning to Hinata. “That’s absurd, you don’t have to.”
Ukai adjusted his hoodie, glancing at (Y/n) as she crossed her arms. “You’d think you’d be a little less tense after last night-”
“Please just go home.” Ukai sighed, taking the keys to his flat from his pocket and placing them in her hand.
She blinked down at the keys in shock.
“I don’t want you in some hotel room when I have a perfectly good bed at my place... I’ll help you get your things from the hotel once practice is over...” He explained, scratching at the back of his head while keeping his eyes on the team.
“Guess you are my boyfriend then...” (Y/n) smiled. She quickly pressed a kiss to Ukai’s cheek before turning on her heels to leave. “See you at home, Coach Dad...”
Ukai turned to watch her leave, a small smile on his face. It wasn’t such a bad nickname when she said it...
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a-ghostly-state · 2 years
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Can you tell us more about Valor? Or that fantasy AU with Arcade? I really like your art and I wanna know more :o
OH BOY this got a little long so im gonna put it under a readmore, but beware!!! Spoilers for Cyberpunk 2077 are ahead!!! If you just wanna hear about the fantasy Arcade au then scroll down to the bottom :)
Here's what to know about Valor:
(Assuming you have played Cyberpunk) -He's a punk nomad that came to Night City after the Bakkers fell to a larger nomad clan called the Snake Nation, he's also an ESFP, and honestly probably my best Cyberpunk oc if not my best oc entirely because of how much I actually... know him??? Like usually its hard for me to step into my OC's to the same degree I can with him. -He goes through all the main plot points of the game pretty faithfully, he's got a very high sense of honor and respect, and he HATES being lied to. When he first met Takemura he was soooo pissed off at him if only because he killed Dex before he ever got the chance to himself. Definitely believes in payback! -He romances Panam, but still had a night of passion with Kerry beforehand haha. He's bi! -REALLY bonded with Johnny, but their first meeting was the roughest by far. He actually almost did take Johnny's advice about just shooting himself, losing Jackie was a REALLY low point that changed him as a person, but the idea of dying without getting Jackie's drink put up in the Afterlife... well, it definitely made him reconsider. -He used to be a huge pacifist before Jackie's death-- like, the first quest in the game where you save Sandra Dorsett? He only knocked the guys out instead of killing them. He kept up with that trend for a little bit after Jackie's death, it was muscle memory by then, but one day he went to knock someone out and accidentally killed them and then he just. kind of continued doing that. Throughout most of the story he’s in kind of this daze where he’s trying to figure out who he even is anymore, and is just kind of going through the motions; well, if the motions were being incredibly efficient and dangerous.
-He saved Takemura, because he and Johnny are both pretty dumb sometimes and they butt heads about things OFTEN because they are both equally bad at planning shit out, so of course when Johnny says "Fuck that guy, get the hell out of here!" In the middle of a Burning Building being fantasy-swatted then of course Valor is going to charge headfirst in the opposite direction. It's because he's a himbo that cares A LOT about his friends.
-Also, on the night Jackie died he actually told Delamain to wait for him instead of choosing directly, but he ended up getting the ofrenda, which is incredibly fitting either way. (He offered the book) and after that he cried in Mama Welles' arms when she gave him the keys to Jackie's Arch, which, is something he actually bonded with Jackie about before he died. -If he could be anything besides 'V' in the game, he would be a mechanic, or a bartender at the Afterlife, or he would be a fixer out in the badlands. (That's just me rambling about other thoughts ive had for him, lol) -He’s actually a really great guy, and a great friend, it’s not his fault that chip scrambled his brain AND that he lost his best friend all in the same night :( -He left Night City to run with the Aldecaldos. Got married to Panam and had a zillion babies (I’m just kidding about that last part, though he would probably want to, knowing him.) All in all I love him. He's stupid in a textbook sense but he's hardworking and so genuinely good, and he's really emotionally intelligent despite growing up in a setting that didn't really have all the means to teach him that sort of thing. Imagine those images of a real hard looking punk smiling and holding a small puppy? Yeah, that's Valor. Cheers to him! Fantasy Arcade AU: Okay so this one is a little more off the wall. This au is just a funny little thing I was daydreaming about on my own, and. Well. Basically it's a Vulcade au because Of Course It Is have you even MET ME
So basically I was almost imagining it as like, a video game or a movie. Vulpes is this knight in Ye Olden City that gets sent off to slay a dragon thats been said to have threatened this town for centuries, so he packs up his things and rides out to go to this tower (which is quite far away, actually) and there's all this angsty buildup towards it.
He gets to the tower and it's huge, it's tall and intimidating and when he gets inside it's just completely empty. Like, everything is stone and it looks nice but there's no sign of any big huge dragon lurking around, actually it looks more like a home for a regular family if anything. So he's like. confused??? And a little nervous because he's no longer sure if it's even where he's supposed to be looking, even though he followed a map. But, then he gets to the top floor and it's this big circular room with all these large, beautiful windows and there's a... man? sitting in the center of it with his back turned to him, and he has... wings, and a tail??? And then he speaks, and he says "Welcome to my home. Are you here to kill me?" In this soft little voice, and he's still turned away from Vulpes and Boy Howdy Vulpes is starting to sweat, especially when Arcade turns around and turns out to be THE sexiest man(?) he has EVER seen in his life (yes i am exaggerating. no i do not care. Arcade is sexy and I will die on this hill) And they have this long conversation after that (which i did fully plan out but it is SO long I dont even want to put it here lol) And. basically what ends up happening is Vulpes is like "I'm so sorry, I'll leave you be Because Arcade is not actually a threat at all, actually Arcade loves people but theyre just so scared of him he decided to run away :( But before he can leave Arcade invites him to stay, and he agrees.
Then one thing leads to another, bada bing bada boom, Vulpes is having his babies the end! (I do actually love the hc that Vulpes is trans so thats totally feasible to me)
ANYWAY. I hope that satisfied your curiosity! It's such a treat to get asks like this :') Also I didnt proofread this response so if it's a little rambly or all over the place im sorry!! But again, thank you for the sweet ask :)
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When Our Hands Next Meet
Series summary: Soulmates are given memories of their past lives when their hands touch. For Virgil and Logan, each memory is happier than the last.
This series was created for @analogicalweek and made in collaboration with the lovely @birdsongisland! Please go look at the wonderful drawing that pairs with this work and support them with reblogs so their work can be seen!
Credit to birdsongisland for beta reading this as well, it came out a lot better because of them!
Chapter 5: We’ll Meet in the Middle
Chapter Summary: Virgil didn’t know what he had been expecting when he asked for a tutor to help with his studies, but it definitely wasn’t who could kick flip a skateboard without even looking down and also happened to be his soulmate. 
Day 5 Prompt: Vocab Card/Skateboard
Warnings: none. If there are others please let me know!
WC: 1539
AO3 link
Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @ace-in-a-shopping-cart @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @logans-library @im-an-anxious-wreck @edupunkn00b
Virgil huffed as he cupped his chin aggressively in his hand, staring down the road to wait for his tutor to show up. Not to get the wrong idea- he was very grateful to the person who had agreed to help him with his vocabulary; he just...wasn’t the best with people. He was socially awkward and very obviously had a vague emo style- wavy purple hair with white streaks fell messily over shadowed eyes and cheeks that would burn in five minutes outside despite his tanned complexion. His black nail  polish was chipping from the constant picking and he was never seen anywhere without his favorite purple hoodie hugging him like a portable blanket. But he was falling a bit behind in class because he couldn’t seem to remember the constant influx of new terminology thrown at him each week. Asking the professor about extra practice had landed him a phone number that he had agonized over for too many hours before finally biting the bullet and calling.
The voice on the other end alone was enough to make his stomach flip, light and lilting even when talking about something as boring as scheduling. Virgil knew it then and he was stewing over it now- he was absolutely done for. No one had that kind of voice without being kind and patient and while those were things he definitely needed if he was going to learn anything he was sure he’d get distracted anyway. Forming a squish from a voice- that had to be the worst joke played on him yet.
Looking up however nearly made him want to cry at the irony. That had to be him, the only person on campus at the moment standing tall on a skateboard while gripping a dark blue messenger bag. From what Virgil could see he had blue hair that was pulled to one side with the other shaved, immediately piquing Virgil’s interest with the unique look. He tried his hardest not to stare as he came closer and his jacket came into view; a leather one spiked at the shoulders and sporting pride flags at the chest. Virgil felt his own chest constrict as he stored that away for later, the pintrovert system coming in handy for what felt like the first time in his life.
Just as he was getting his crutches situated to stand up he noticed the other man riding straight for the sidewalk seemingly not paying attention to where he was going. Scrambling to his feet he lurched forward to yell out.
“Hey watch ou-” The warning died on his lips as his tutor executed a perfect lick flip onto the sidewalk, letting the momentum carry him a couple more feet before stopping and tucking the skateboard under his arms. Virgil was sure he looked like an absolute idiot as he approached him, trying his hardest not to gape while practically feeling his eyes sparkling while looking at the punk with wide eyes. 
“Hello, I’m Logan. And you’re Virgil right? The person I’m supposed to help with his medical terms?” He waited for Virgil to nod before continuing. “Excellent. Is the library fine?”
Realizing He’d been silent too long, he managed to squeak out a “Yeah,” as he reached down to swing his bag over his shoulder. Logan started towards the doors with him, shuffling things around in his bag to pull out notecards and stuff the skateboard into it. How it fit Virgil had no idea but taking in the aesthetic he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it involved some sort of fae magic. 
They settled down at the table and Logan looked over at him, making his heart once again skip a beat as he took in the beautiful shade of brown. Shaking his head slightly he tried to focus on what Logan was currently talking about while organizing several colored pens in front of them.
“-that way you’ll be able to separate the terms better and your brain will be better equipped to compartmentalize the terms you need to remember in half the time. Does that make sense?”
It didn’t. It really, really didn’t. He had a soulmate somewhere that he hadn’t found yet and most likely wouldn’t for a long time to come, and yet here he was trying desperately to hide a blush because this person was just- he was so cool. His voice and eyes were pretty and he was obviously smart if he had been the first person his teacher had recommended to tutor him…
“Are you feeling alright? You look flushed.” Hearing this Virgil snapped back to reality and gave a thumbs up, ducking his head while trying to resist the urge to slam it into the wood. 
“Fine, yeah! Just you’re- it’s hot! Hot in the hoodie.” Praying he had saved that sentence quickly enough he dared to peak back at Logan through his bangs, who was just smiling slightly with an arm draped over the back of his chair.
“You can take that off then, if you want.” Logan pointed to the hoodie. “Since you’re hot.”
Virgil decided then, somehow managing to keep a straight face through his panic, that it was quite homophobic of the floor to not simply open and swallow him whole. Try as he might to calm himself he could still feel the remnants of the harsh flush in his cheeks as he saw Logan simply look at him with that smile, making him idly wonder if the sly bastard was really flirting with him or was actually just that oblivious.
Virgil sputtered as he wrapped the hoodie tighter around himself, shaking his head slightly. “Nah, I’m fine actually! You were saying about colors?”
“Just that color coding can help you study better. I’m here to give you tips as well so please pay attention.” Leaning forward again, Logan started explaining how to separate the different concepts and how to decide what was important and what wasn’t; honestly Virgil was genuinely surprised at how much he retained, forgetting his panic in favor of actually learning, for which he was very grateful. By the time an hour had passed he had a pretty good grasp on what he was meant to be learning and how to go about it. He stacked his much improved notecards together and shoved them in his pocket for later, shifting around in his seat to look at Logan properly.
“Thank you honestly, I feel a lot better about the class now.”
“It was no trouble, I’m grateful I was able to help. And if you’re in need of further assistance before next week, call me?” Logan smiled crookedly. “I use the library’s phone for tutor scheduling, this is for my actual phone..”
Virgil gaped at the slip of paper offered to him with a wink, fully cementing the idea that Logan had, in fact, been flirting with him and Virgil had been too infatuated with his style to actually notice. Purple nail polish caught his eye as his hand moved closer and he had the vague thought of that being his favorite color and how did he keep them from chipping? Before his thoughts could wonder further he was taking the paper and smiling, just aware enough of their fingers brushing as he remembered  being with this person, his soulmate, time and time again. Every time was better than the last as their souls grew accustomed to one another and grew over eternity, strengthening their bond with every word exchanged.
Virgil looked at his soulmate's dazed expression, the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen gracing his lips and eyes watering with emotion at having found him again. So many words stuck in his throat as he struggled with the perfect thing to say, something that would capture how happy he was to finally be together again and how excited he was to explore this lifetime together. Something that would make Logan understand just how much he meant to him.
“I think this is the coolest form you’ve ever taken.” He blurted, immediately covering his mouth and cursing himself twice over.
His heart sank as Logan barked out a laugh, snorting into his own hand and taking a minute to compose himself before laying a gentle hand on his cheek. 
“And I think this is the loveliest I’ve seen you.” 
He laughed softly as Virgil went completely red, fingers twitching with indecision over whether to flap his hand or slap the idiot beside him. Deciding on a combination of both he frantically beat a hand against his shoulder while sleeping his other over his mouth, mumbling profanities under his breath. Whipping around as his hand was caught he couldn’t help but grin at Logan’s own brilliant smile, even if his face felt like he had dipped it in a vat of boiling water.
“It’s getting late, I could walk you home?”
“Yeah,” Virgil managed. “I’d like that.”
Walking home and still slightly wishing the floor had opened up beneath him, he couldn’t help but feel lucky that he had found Logan so soon. They had an eternity to catch up on and if it had to start with fixing his bad study habits, he supposed he couldn’t complain.
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ephyla · 3 years
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Midsummer Relaxation
Midsummer was approaching and the people of New Berk have been scrambling all over, preparing for the celebration. The sun barely sets anymore, and everyone was absolutely exhausted. Hiccup was supposed to overview the entire preparation of the feast but all he desired was a break. Thank the Gods for marrying such a wonderful woman.
oOo
Midsummer was approaching and the people of New Berk have been scrambling all over the village for days, preparing for the celebration. The sun barely set anymore, and everyone was absolutely exhausted, prone to often make mistakes that drove the Chief of New Berk wild. Hiccup was supposed to overview the entire preparation of the feast, but also had to settle petty quarrels between sleep-deprived Vikings; avoiding sharp flying objects on the occasion. It was the perfect recipe for chaos and he was worried that they will not be ready on time. If one thing went according to plan, three more things would set them back again. Food went missing, tables were broken, celebrative outfits were set on fire. All he wanted to do relax, he felt like he’s been awake for seven days straight and his mind isn’t cooperating anymore, just begging to shut down for a whole month. By now, he was just acting like a wandering draugr. He really wondered how his father managed to handle this without breaking a sweat and dearly wished he was by his side, guiding him. 
His wife was by his side the entire time, shouldering half of the responsibilities. Even she, despite being quite tired as well (he swore he saw her take a power nap on top of a ladder last time), handled it better than himself. She seemed to be fuelled by a spark of positive energy. He remembered a few years back when the twins explained the change in their friends’ attitude towards the Midnight Sun, since then, Astrid found a dark place to sleep so she doesn’t get any more of those embarrassing memories again. What kind of Hofferson would ever call a Jorgenson handsome? Of course, the sun still had its effects on her, but her overzealous demeanour toned down to a bearable extent. While it did seem a bit overwhelming sometimes, it kept Hiccup’s spirits up. It was their first Midsummer as a wedded couple and he really didn’t want to mess this up. 
Today, however, she had suddenly requested to immediately go home after being done with only half of her duties done. For someone who prides herself on being so effective and getting the work done, it was very unusual of her to abandon her responsibilities. This worried Hiccup, so he didn’t object and watched her dash towards their house. He didn’t know how much time passed, the sun remained in its usual elevated position, but he felt like tonight will be a four blocks of ice kind of night. He felt like there was absolutely no progress made today despite getting up in the early hours. He couldn’t even track the time since the sun was barely moving. Some muttonhead decided it was a smart idea to open Sven’s sheeps’ pen and let the uncoordinated Vikings chase them like toddlers who could barely walk yet. If he could get his hands on that person, he swore he was going to get an earful that even his late father, Stoick, would be impressed by. He hoped that Astrid got enough rest so she can go back to being her feisty, short-tempered self. He would greatly benefit from that. The Berkians, despite being completely out of control, would never cross with a hot-blooded, axe-wielding Valkyrie and would sober up at the speed of light. 
Speaking of his beloved blonde wife, he saw her approach him with a smile on her face. Even though he was absolutely exhausted, he smiled back, her presence bringing him a sense of comfort. He extended his hand to her and she took it, bringing her closer to him, enlacing her waist, and pressing small kisses on her neck. She giggled in a very un-Astridlike way. 
“Well, I’m not one to object to this kind of greeting, but we’re in the middle of town and people are looking.” Astrid said as she observed around her. Gobber was covering a kid’s eyes. Some villagers had a dumbfounded expression on their faces, rarely seeing Hiccup initiating such an intimate gesture; apart from the occasional lip or forehead kiss. Others just cheered or ignored them. Hiccup let out a small whine and rested his head on her shoulder, keeping his arms wrapped around her form. 
“I missed you.” He whimpered.
“I wasn’t gone for that long, babe.” She replied as she stroked his hair. Her poor husband has the bad habit of overworking himself, and the fact that no one can distinguish between day and night definitely didn’t help. “Come home with me, I have something to show you.” 
“I’m sorry Milady, I still have work to do, we’re behind schedule and Midsummer is in a week.” His reply a bit muffled in her shoulder.
“Go and have yer fun, lad. You’ve worked more than anyone here and deserve some respite. And besides, how can ye refuse yer wife’s invitation?” The young couple turned their heads to look at Gobber approaching them.  “Ah, I remember when Stoick was acting just like ye, never knowing when to stop. It took Valka threatening not to share their marital bed anymore, snapped ‘im right out of it, and practically dragged ‘im home. The next morning they kept yawning all over the place, creating a chain of never-ending yawns. Now that I think about it, that’s probably how ye were concei-“
“-OKAY! That’s enough Gobber. I got your point.” Hiccup exclaimed in horror. While he was used to hanging around people that did not have a filter, Gobber was probably the one he feared the most. Since his best friend’s demise, the blacksmith has been recounting stories of him. Some were great to listen to, remembering the bravery and leadership of Stoick the Vast; but some were just better to keep to oneself. With the approach of the Midnight Sun’s peak, Gobber has gotten worse and Hiccup would’ve much preferred wearing the earbuds he made once during his encounter with the Death Song, just to save himself of the embarrassing images his mentor so crassly described to him. 
Astrid looked at Gobber with a mixture of disgust and amusement, before deciding to grab her stunned husband’s arm and pulling him towards their house, away from the growing crowd of curious Vikings. She hoped her parents didn’t witness this whole ordeal. 
“Astrid, I don’t think I have the energy to do what Gobber obnoxiously suggested, maybe-“ Hiccup said as he was being pulled by his wife.
“-Hush you. That’s not what I had in mind when I came to get you.” She cut him off, continuing to pull him towards their house. She let go of his arm once they crossed their threshold’s doorframe and closed the door, locked it just in case those nosy Vikings decided to rudely barge in. 
After being exposed to the sunlight for so long, Hiccup’s eyes had to adjust to the darkness of the room, illuminated by a couple of candles. He could smell a pleasant fragrant scent in the room and spotted their bathtub in front of the lit fireplace; the rugs been removed. Astrid led him to the bathtub and sat him down on the chair that was deliberately placed right next to it. She saw his questioning gaze.
“Gobber was right about you working harder than anyone here in this village. You deserve to relax a bit, take some time off.”
“You know I can’t afford to relax, now. Not when Midsommer is so close. Those sleep-deprived Vikings aren’t going to lead themselves, they can barely listen to me when I’m there. I’ll rest once we’re done.” He said, preparing to stand up again. Astrid pushed him down.
“I’ve asked your mom to take your place for a bit. She’s surprisingly unaffected by the sun’s constant presence. And she agreed that you needed a day off. Everyone could see how tired you are.” Astrid started unbuttoning his (GUARD STUFF). “And I want to take care of my husband. Will you let me?” Hiccup gulped, his words not coming out. He simply nodded. It’s been a while since she saw him being bashful around her. She gratefully smiled at him and pecked him on the lips. 
She proceeded to fully undress him, and took off his prosthetic, placing it within reach of the chair. Gone were the days Hiccup felt ashamed of showing his scar. Astrid made sure to show him how much he meant to her, leg or no leg. When he was coming home after a rough day of chiefing, she would give him his ice blocks and tell him to take care of his migraines while she took care of his leg, massaging it. She would sometimes bring it to her lips and kiss it, showing her appreciation to him. He would always beam at her every time she did this. She frowned when she saw the current redness of his stump, also spotting a blister forming. 
“Let me help you get in the tub. Just relax. I’ll massage your leg when I come back, I’m going to get some food from the Great Hall.” She said as she rose from her kneeling position. Her cooking did improve over time thanks to Hiccup and Gobber, but she wanted his day off to be perfect, which wasn’t the case for her cooking yet. She tried to make a nice intricate meal for the two of them, which is why she left so early. However, her attempts were all in vain as the food always ended up burning. In the end, she had to admit defeat. 
Hiccup grabbed her wrist. “Join me?” 
Astrid contemplated his words for a few seconds before nodding. She can grab dinner later. She wrapped her husband’s arm around her shoulder and helped him get into the tub. The water wasn’t too warm since they were in the hottest month of Berk, but it wasn’t cold to the point he would start shivering after being submerged for a couple of minutes. 
Hiccup looked over at his wife undress. He had seen her in this state countless times, even before they were married; but it always felt like the first time. He was the only Viking that she allowed to see her like this, with her guard down. Her body wasn’t unscathed. It was filled with scars and burns, proving that this woman was a warrior that has been through so many battles and came out victorious every time. She wouldn’t hesitate to swing an axe to a skull if someone ever looked at her funny. So, this woman allowing him to witness her in her most vulnerable state was an absolute honour to him, that he would never take for granted. Her scars were a part of her and accentuated her beauty and he made sure to always remind her of it. 
“Allow me.” He said as he extended a hand towards her. She knew what he wanted and turned her back to him. He rose, sat on the edge of the tub and pulled the leather band that kept her braid in place off. He slowly undid his wife’s braid, letting her gold strands cascade down to her lower back. He then gathered her hair in his hand and swept it over her shoulder, exposing her freckled neck and scarred back. He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a loving kiss on the largest scar she had. A scar trailed from her right shoulder to the left side of her hip. She was proud of that scar as it was a reminder of her saving his life from an assassination attempt. During the yearly Thing meeting between multiple tribes, when the dragons and some Viking tribes were still cohabiting together, a spy has been placed within them, trying to poison the Dragon-loving Chiefs. Astrid and Heather caught on pretty quickly and managed to expose the spy in front of all the Chiefs. Being surrounded, no one expected the spy to suddenly lunge himself at Hiccup with his sword. Astrid, being the closest to him and desperate to keep him unharmed, had used her back as a shield. The wound hurt like Hel but it was worth it. She was so scared to have failed him as his then-General, she didn’t care that she put her life on the line to save his. A Chief protects his own, but it’s also the General’s job to protect the people AND the Chief. Hiccup wouldn’t let her leave his sight for weeks after that, eternally grateful and forever scared he was going to lose her that day.
“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He told her. His eyes were filled with wonder to this Valkyrie in front of him. She smiled gratefully at him and climbed in the bathtub, sitting opposite of him. 
She took his stump in her hands and started to delicately massage it, coaxing a few moans of relief out of him. Her nimble fingers were definitely a gift from the Gods. She managed to soothe the knots in his leg with great accuracy. All day, he had to focus on the utter chaos happening in the village that he didn’t have the time to focus on himself and his discomfort, ignoring the pains coming from his leg begging him to take the weight off of it. She carefully avoided the small blister forming near the bottom of the stump. 
“Mmmh, this feels so good.” Hiccup sighed with pleasure as he closed his eye, focussing on the sensation.
“You’ve been standing for too long, babe. I know the Midsummer celebration is stressing you out, but you’ve got to start listening to your body when it tells you to rest.” He opened his eyes, looking at her hands doing their wonders underwater. 
“I know, I know. But it’s a bit hard to do that when we keep progressing backward each day. I swear to Odin, every time I look away, someone messes up something, I just can’t do it.” Astrid’s hand rose to swipe Hiccup’s bangs back, revealing his beautiful green eyes. Since the start of the preparations a few weeks ago, he didn’t have the time to let her cut his hair.
“You can’t do it on your own. Remember, you have me. You have your mom, Gobber, Eret and the gang. We’re all here to help you. You just have to accept the help instead of shouldering most of the responsibilities. We’re willing to take some of the load off you.” She said as she grazed her thumb over his dark eye bags. “I can assure you that not only the work will get done much faster, but you’ll be more productive with a rested body and a peaceful mind.” She kissed his forehead. Hiccup wrapped his arms around her, making her sit in his lap. He savoured the rare peaceful moment he had with his beloved wife. She had the gift of shutting all the voices tormenting his mind and the gentle touch to relax his body in the blink of an eye. She was everything to him. He could be the best version of himself when she’s with him and never took her for granted; not since the betrothal gift incident.
“Just don’t forget you’re still human, there’s so much your body can handle before it shuts down.” She added. 
“Yeah, you’re right. I might have been pushing myself pretty hard.” Hiccup replied, raising his head to look at her. There was a warmness to her that he never thought she would ever have; especially directed towards him. He remembered her words of encouragement back on the clifftops, as he was losing hope. I am the person I am today because of you. Over the years, he saw how she started to warm up to him and the rest of the people. She had been trained for years to be this fearless, unemotional warrior. Back then, the fear of losing the people you love was at its peak, so she was quick to learn how to shut her feelings down and just train from dawn till dusk. Today, she was a softer and warmer person; which didn’t mean she was weaker by any means. But with the end of the Dragon War, she has found herself a partner that saw her as an equal. They both found themselves a new purpose in life and didn’t have to fear the threat of a dragon raid any longer, which allowed them to find happiness along the way. They were happy here.
Astrid got off his lap and reached for the soap that was earlier placed at a reachable distance. She looked back at him. “Soak.” And so, he plunged his head underwater before coming back up with his bangs fully covering his eyes. She stifled a laugh as did he. “I haven’t planned to cut your hair today, so I’ll do that next laugardagr, you think you can survive until then?” She started washing his hair with the soap in her hands.
“You made a whole schedule just to help me relax? A schedule? Did I mistakenly marry Fishlegs?” This earned him a pinch on his nipple. “OW! You know they’re sensitive. I did not deserve that!” She laughed as she brought her hands back to massage his scalp. The nipple pinching forgotten, his eyes rolled back into his skull, fully appreciating the head massage. “Ooh yeah, that feels nice.” Astrid brought his bangs back down to cover his eyes and gathered the excess foam and piled it upon his head in the form two horns. She exploded in laughter at the ridiculous sight.  “Wha- Astriiid!“
“You look like Snotlout’s pet yak! Oh Gods- I can’t!” She wheezed. 
Hiccup was not impressed and got rid of the foam and swiped his bangs back, exposing his frown. His small smile betrayed him though. It was rare to see Astrid lose composure and in a burst of full-blown laughter. It made him break his frown and laugh with her. 
“You, young lady, are in reeeally big trouble. Do you have any idea who I am?” 
“Yakkity’s long lost brother?” She joked.
“Okay, that’s it, come here you!” He grabbed her by the waist and started poking her sides, knowing very well she was ticklish there. “I shall not tolerate this type of disrespect on my island.”
She tried to grab his arm, but this time he was prepared and pinned her arms by wrapping an arm around her and continuing tormenting her with the other. How she wished they were fifteen years old again. “N-No- St-Stop!” 
“Then say, ‘My husband is the strongest and most handsome Viking in all of Midgard’. Say it.” 
“Hahaha, N-not on yo-your life!” Having minimal movement of her arms, Astrid tried to reach downwards instead of fighting the death grip he had around her. She pinched the inside of his thigh, so very close to his precious jewels, making him jump. “Astrid! No!” He stopped tickling her but kept his arm around her. 
“I will pinch higher if you don’t let me go, babe.” She tried to catch her breath from all the tickling.
“You’re awful, absolutely awful.” He whined as he let her go. 
“You’re lucky this is your relaxation time.” She said, a small glint in her eyes. 
“Oh yeah, what kind of torment would you inflict on your poor one-legged husband?” He challenged.
“Something that would require you to use your cane for the next day or so.” She fired back; a small, dangerous smile etched on her face. Hiccup’s eyes widened and he gulped. “But we’re both tired and I did promise to take care of my sweet husband, haven’t I? So, behave.” She flicked his exposed forehead. 
“Ow. How did I get myself into this mess?” He rubbed the sore spot.
“You kidnapped me and threw me on top of a tree.” She replied with a straight face.
“Fair enough.”
“Okay, you’ve had soap in your hair for long enough, rinse.” She ordered. He dived in again, washing off the soap.  
“Can I wash your hair?” He asked.
“But it’s your time off.” 
“Yeah, but it’s yours too. You worked just as hard. You deserve to be taken care of too.” He replied.
“You worked harder.” He rolled his eyes.
“Astrid, this isn’t a competition. I want to take care of my wife. Will you let me?” He grabbed her hand and slowly spun her around in the narrow tub and made her sit between his legs. 
“You’re always looking for an excuse to touch my hair.” She jokingly said. There was an element of truth though. He loved touching her hair, combing his fingers through her long strands. Since they have gotten married, he insisted on combing and braiding her hair in the morning. There was just something intimate and therapeutic about touching her hair. She was protective over it, never letting anyone but him touch it. The first time she let down her hair for him was during the incident that left her temporarily blind. She was not able to see how much soot covered her precious hair, so she entrusted it in his care. He remembers his heart beating so fast that he thought it was going to burst from his chest. He felt honoured, and has been craving to touch her beautiful golden locks ever since. 
Astrid on the other hand, hated when people touched her hair. It was her pride and joy (after Stormfly and her axe). As a child, every time her mom would braid her hair, she would always pull too hard, leaving her sore. The twins were more chaotic when they were kids. They would get away with anything because kids will be kids. As a prank, they decided it would be funny to set her hair on fire, forcing her to cut it above her shoulders. That day, she saw red and very nearly beat them to death. They were all severely punished for it, but no one has ever attempted to touch her hair ever again. He remembered that day very well, it was probably the first time he saw her cry. That’s when he learned how attached she was to her hair. The way she preened on it every night since they became a couple on the Edge reminded him so much of Stormfly. Her dragon always made sure there was not a single hair out of place after a flight. It amused him how she trusted a dragon more than Vikings to manage her hair. Stormfly had the gentle touch that Astrid craved someone to have. She always wanted her rider to look the best. 
“Well?” Astrid asked as she looked back. Hiccup’s thoughts were cut off. 
“Oh...Uh yeah, my bad.” He started to massage her scalp as she did him. 
“Okay, I’m done. You can rinse.” He said after working on her hair for the past couple of minutes.
She dipped her head underwater and got rid of the soap before emerging again. 
“Thanks.” She turned her head and smiled at him. 
“I should be thanking you; this whole ‘bath’ idea was yours. It felt nice.” He kissed her exposed shoulder as he embraced her.
“Well, don’t thank me yet. We’re not done.” She patted his hand.
“Not done?”
“What, did you really think that was it? Come on, let’s get out before our skin shrivels up like a prune.” She got out of his arms, turned around, and grabbed him. She helped him up and guided him to the chair, passed him a towel, and proceeded to dry themselves before taking his prosthetic and putting it back on his stump. She started to put her clothes on, so Hiccup followed suit until she stopped him.
“Nuh-uh, just wear a towel, I highly doubt you want your clothes to be stained with oil.”
“What?”
“A massage, Hiccup. I’m going to give you a massage. Gods, even a blind man would know how tense you are just by standing near you.” She answered.
“Why are you getting dressed then? Don’t I get to give you one?” 
“Next laugardagr, after I trim that overgrown mop of hair of yours. Gods have mercy on my shears.” 
“S-Shears?! And by the way, my hair isn’t that bad!” Hiccup dramatically exclaimed. Astrid rolled her eyes. “I’ve never seen a man with that much hair on their head, I swear if we shave everything off, we’ll have enough to make a scarf. No need for sheep anymore.” 
“First, I’m a yak, now I’m a sheep? Is that how you see me, Astrid? Nothing more than livestock? How you wound me.” He brought a hand up to his heart. Astrid let out a cackle.
“You are such a drama queen. Come on, get up your highness, there’s fresh meat to be tenderized before I chop it off and feed it to the village.” She helped him up and headed towards their bedroom.
“Please Astrid, can you be any more creepy?” It was his turn to roll his eyes. 
They finally reached their room. The shutters were sealed shut, preventing most of the light to penetrate the room. Candles were illuminated, giving off the same soothing atmosphere as downstairs, cutting them off from the agitated outside world. The bed was covered by a large towel, probably to avoid the oil soak into their sheets. Astrid made her husband lie down on his stomach, removed his prosthetic again, and sat on his butt. She started tracing his back muscles with feathery fingers which made him shivers. While Hiccup was still a lean man, he definitely wasn’t the same fifteen-year-old, shy boy that she found herself falling in love with. He quickly gained muscle mass thanks to dragon-riding and her extensive sword fighting lessons. Just like all the other riders, he started to lose some after the dragons’ departure a year ago. He remained, in her eyes, the most beautiful man ever.
 She caressed his back and leaned forward, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades, making him sigh lovingly. He was clearly enjoying her pampering and she wasn’t about to stop any time soon. She reached for the small vial that was ready to be used from their bedside table and poured the contents in her hands and rubbed them together to heat it up a bit. Astrid proceeded to rub his shoulders first, trying to undo that visible tension. She added her bodyweight as she tried to loosen those knots that caused his painful backaches. 
“Mmh, yeah that’s the spot.” Hiccup moaned as she rubbed a specific sore area.  She continued her ministrations for a bit and slowly moved onto his lower once she was satisfied with how loose and relaxed his shoulders became. 
“How are you feeling?” She asked while kneading his legs.
“Like a newborn yak.” He replied, his voice muffled by the pillows. She sniggered, happy that he’s enjoying this so much.
Hiccup can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed. He truly thought he was going to melt into a puddle under her magic hands. He knew he didn’t know when to stop working. His muscles could be aching and his bones could be breaking, but he never stops until someone does or until he collapses. He had big shoes to fill and couldn’t bear to let his village down. Not when his father did a tremendous job at leading. Once Stoick finally admitted to his blindness, he saw so much growth and potential in his son, and Hiccup did his best to uphold what his father saw in him. While Stoick had to lead alone for years, Hiccup couldn’t be any more grateful to have an amazing partner by his side, supporting him. He knew he wouldn’t remain sane had he lost her like his father lost his wife. He was no idiot. He saw how he struggled when his soulmate was believed to be dead and couldn’t possibly see a future without Astrid. She was everything to him and more. The entire village knew that.  They weren’t being led by the Chief and the Chief’s wife. They were Chief and Chieftess. Equals. One couldn’t function without the other. Some would say that they’re too dependent on each other and would lead the tribe to their downfall. But the Berkians knew better. Together, they were stronger than anyone.
“Turn around.” She ordered. And he complied. She sat back on his lap and leaned down to kiss him. He quickly wrapped his arm around her and savoured their kiss. They should do this more often. He missed having some quality time with just her. 
Just as his hands started traveling a bit lower, a large grumbling sound resonated across the room. They separated and looked at each other. The couple started laughing. 
“Well, someone is hungry. When was the last time you ate?” Astrid asked.
“Honestly, I can’t remember.” He sheepishly replied. She sighed. “Go sit in front of the hearth and let your hair dry. I’ll go grab some food from the Great Hall, I’ll be back soon.” She passed him his prosthetic and headed downstairs, leaving their household on the quest for food.
He doesn’t know how long he had been staring at the flames when she came back, a basket in hand. She approached him and sat on the floor beside him, handing him the food. 
“Thank you, Milady.” He smiled at her.
“Sorry about not having any meals prepared at home.” She timidly said, looking down at her bowl of stew. “I tried to cook something from my mom’s recipes but my cooking skills are still pretty subpar. No matter how hard I tried, it just wasn’t perfect.”
He recognized those words. It just wasn’t perfect. That’s why it took them so long to become a couple, to begin with. He knew he was romantic when it comes to being in a relationship. Even before he set his eyes on anyone, he already thought of perfect scenarios with his soulmate. All the gestures and gifts; anything to quench this loneliness he felt as a young boy. He wanted his partner to feel loved. That’s why the medallion incident hit him hard. Since when did he start neglecting Astrid, causing her to feel that exact same loneliness he once felt? He never thought she was a romantic, being a hardcore shieldmaiden most of her life. But he learned that she also longed for love, she was just better at hiding it. At that time, he was still self-conscious. He has never heard her telling him that she loved him, but hearing her share her insecurities, he realized that she has. So many times, through a variation of loving gestures that she reserved for him and only him. He felt guilty for being so blind, which is why he made up for it. She deserved the best. She deserved perfect.
“Hey.” He scooted closer to her, their shoulders bumping. “This seems pretty perfect to me.” She looked at him with wide eyes. “You have no idea how eternally grateful I am to have you. This whole thing you’ve prepared for me is just perfect. I love it. I love you. So much. Whether you managed to cook an intricate meal or just brought food back from the Great Hall wouldn’t have changed anything. You did this for me, and it made me so happy. And I get to spend some time with you. I couldn’t ask for more, Astrid. Thank you.”  He tenderly kissed her lips. 
“I’m glad.” She paused. “And relieved.” She confessed, a smile on her lips.
They happily ate in silence, occasionally striking a conversation or just randomly stole a kiss from each other; just enjoying each other’s presence. 
Their empty bowls were cast aside as they cuddled in front of the fire; savouring this rare moment of peace and quiet. Hiccup ran his fingers through her now dry hair.
“Will you let me braid your hair?” She looked at him for a few seconds before nodding and turning her back to him. He delicately combed through her silky golden tresses with his fingers, undoing the small knots and separated her hair into three parts. He expertly twisted the locks in a loose braid. Usually, Astrid wouldn’t braid her hair when going to bed as it provided a thin layer of heat for her neck. Winter in New Berk was just as merciless as Old Berk, but right now, they were approaching the hottest days of the year. While the air was still cool when evening came, she didn’t need that much coverage as the fire heated the room to a perfect temperature. 
Astrid passed the leather band that was hanging on her wrist to her husband as he finished tending her hair. He attached it and swept her hair over her shoulder. Placing a light peck on the nape. She shivered at the contact and fell back, trusting Hiccup to catch her, which he did. He pressed his lips on her now accessible forehead. She laid in his arms for a while, just relishing the feeling of having his arms around her and the small, tickling kisses all across her face. 
“Is this what you’ve been up to the whole time when you said you wanted to go home?” He asked.
“The failed cooking took most of my time.” She lamented.
“Did you have time to rest?” Astrid looked away. She knew she needed extra time to do the cooking, but she didn’t expect to fail that hard. In the end, it took much more time than she expected. Not that she felt like she needed a break, her husband needed it more than she did. But she was hoping to have more quality time with him. Unfortunately, after the fourth try, she decided to throw the towel. 
“I’ll rest when you do.” Just as she said that the blonde Viking let out a yawn. 
“Well, someone is getting tired.” Hiccup teased. 
“I’ve been tired since our beloved Goddess Sol decided to show off all her glory even more so than usual.” Hiccup fought back a yawn that didn’t go unnoticed by his wife. “Seems like I’m not the only one that’s tired. Come on babe, let’s get you to bed.” She freed herself from his embrace and got up, lending a hand to help her husband up too. They headed upstairs, leaving the dirty dishes for tomorrow. 
Once in their bedroom again, they undressed and put on their thin nightwear, hoping to finally get a comfortable night of sleep. They got in bed and Hiccup spooned her, letting her get comfortable in his arms. They sighed in content.
“Astrid?” He hesitantly called out, hoping she didn’t already fall asleep. 
“Hmm?” 
“Thank you.”
“You know you don’t need to thank me”
“I know, but you always seem to know what I need before I even do. So, I want to thank you. I really appreciate it. I love you, Milady.” He kissed the back of her head.
She squeezed his hand that was resting around her waist. “I love you too.” She sleepily answered.
He tightened his arms around her as he let sleep consume him.
Gods, how he loved that woman.
oOo
So this one-shot was written while I was writing another Hiccstrid story. I just needed a break since I was having a writer's block and I desperately needed some heartwarming fluff because the other one is heavy, at least for me it is. This one-shot could possibly have a potential smut scene one day, I just have no idea how to write those yet.
The other story will be posted soon, depending on how inspired I am. It's either going to be a long one-shot or a short chaptered fiction. To this day, I have written around 11K words, and it could possibly reach 20K. All I'm going to reveal for now is that Astrid is going to have a bad time. Hopefully you guys will be interested.
Also, would anyone be interested in a separate one-shot on how Astrid got that scar? I don't know why, I love Astrid so much that I need to read/write Astrid!Whump fics.
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asterism-os · 3 years
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hello! this is a... memory dump? canon-call? little bit of both, i think i really miss my family and i dont wanna forget anything, so im gonna dump it here and also tag it this technically isnt a canon-call, but if you recognize it PLEASE dm me on this acc or @asterism-of-spades so we can chat! (also i have an enderman typing quirk normally, someone’s helpin me type this so nobody has to translate) So I’m Origins!Ranboo! Well... sorta? My canon is a mix of DSMP and OSMP, but I’ve found myself more comfortable with saying I’m OSMPBoo. I used to use he/him prns, shifted to he/void, and pretty recently, outside of my canon, I completely omitted he/him, using voi/void as well as a few other ender-related neoprns.  I was married to Tubbo, who was a shulker/bee hybrid, and our relationship was really dubious, nobody but us knew whether we were romantically involved or not (I don’t even remember lmao). We would call each other Bo and Boo! We had 2 kids! I remember we had Michael, and we had another kid but I can’t remember anything important about them, I’ll update this when I do. As of right now, I’m pretty sure they were either another zombie piglin or a child enderman. I have a few small memories, like the sound of their laughs, Michael holding flowers up to Tubbo, and the feeling of two kids laying on me while I told them stories. They would usually call Tubbo Dad or some variation and they’d call me Boo. We also had a dog that Tubbo brought home, even though he was super allergic, and had named... Ray, I think? I had really bad memory issues and derealization episodes in my canon (I do now as well) and I remember Tubbo waking me up every morning and making sure I knew the important stuff (where I was, who we were, that we loved each other, stuff like that) Also????? Tubbo was super strong??? Like. He could EASILY pick me up and just fly into the air with me. He also liked to gross me out by making super cursed noises when we walked through flower fields.... All he Needed to do was touch the flowers but he liked to make gross noises to accompany that- Tommy was a raccoon/shulker hybrid, and Tubbos biological brother! Don’t ask me how that worked because I’m not sure myself! I don’t have many memories with Tommy, but I do remember that he would stay with us a lot.  Shroud was there as well, he was Tommy’s son (spider/human hybrid) and Tubbo and I were his uncles!  Hmmm....  Phil! Phil was basically everyone’s dad, even though Ghostbur was his only Actual kid. He was a safe space, and he practically radiated peace! He had really cool wings, the outer layer of feathers were like a metallic blue and waterproof, and the inner layers were a super deep black and really soft. When he gave hugs he liked to wrap his wings around people as well, and it was just really cozy and safe. He’d protect me from the rain, and knew basic Enderian so he could communicate with me when I had bad anxiety.  Dream was in my canon, and he was a real jerk to me. Uh... I’d go into more detail if you ask, but it’s not really something I’d want to post.  I also have a Lot of food-based memories I remember eating Blaze rods, and there were two variants! One was more yellow, and that one tasted like licking a metal spoon after eating apple pie (so a cinnamony-sweet metallic taste), and then a more reddish one that tasted more like cayanne pepper! I’d put the powder from the reddish ones on chicken every so often.  Glow berries had the texture of grapes, but tasted like what a glowstick looks like All of the gold-infused foods (gappes, glistening melons, golden carrots) made me really sick because they were so sweet, I really only ate them if I needed to.I would give golden carrots to the kids every so often though, and they’d be bouncing off the walls for the rest of the day I also remember eating chorus fruit! I rarely had it because we never really went to the End, but it had the texture and visual of a dragonfruit (but purple), and tasted like grape juice! The leaves on nether vines tasted like pasta spices, so Jack once got the idea to try and take the bases and make pasta out of it, since nether vines had thick bases It... didn’t go well, we’ll just say 
I also have some more smaller memories with people: trying to high-five niki and her hurting me on accident because she was wet jack and i scrambling to find shelter during a sudden thunderstorm and laughing once we werent actively getting hurt anymore ghostbur showing up behind me randomly and scaring the crap outta me also! heres some more memories about me! i had a Really bad stutter when i was speaking english lmao, it was definitely a struggle the enderspeak in my tl was really similar to the language that people are learning irl! eye contact was only uncomfortable if the person was a stranger/a threat! in my culture, eye contact was viewed as a threat unless it was from someone who you cared for! I had a Victorian-esque aesthetic! My eyes used to both be green, but my red eye got damaged. I’ll talk more about that under the cut!  CW/TW for blood and injury
So my eye is red because I got shot with an arrow like... directly above my eye. My blood had a chemical reaction with the fluids in my eye and turned it red! Also my blood is purple, looks like grape fanta. 
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itsnsfwalways · 4 years
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Canyon Moon
FIC MASTERLIST
warnings for ch 3: mentions of drug use (weed), swearing, oral sex (m! and f! receiving), a hint of degradation if you squint
chapter 3: you’re so golden
The sun hitting your eyes was the first thing that woke you up, the warmth inviting, but also very bright. Scrunching you’re face up, you tug the blanket over your head, turning to the side and taking a deep breath in. You find giving your body a few minutes to wake up before you force yourself out of bed makes you feel so much more awake and in a good mood.
Stretching your back, you rub the sleep out of your eyes and roll out of bed, trudging to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth.
Yawning as you walk into the kitchen, you make yourself an iced coffee before starting on breakfast. Putting on Rumours, you sing quietly to yourself while making a scramble with a bunch of veggies to get your greens in early.
Heading back to your room with hot sauce in hand, you light some incense and take a few bong rips before eating your breakfast quietly on the window sill. That was something you absolutely LOVED about your room, the edge of the window was just wide enough for you to sit (or lay down) and admire the view of palm trees and beautiful blue skies.
Opening up Misery, you finish a few chapters and mindlessly eat for a bit, listening to the birds chirp and the buzz of the city waking up. Once you finish your food, you go sit cross legged on your meditation pillow, facing the floor length mirror as you make sure your posture is straight. Putting on your favorite meditation music, which, at the moment, is 432hz Healing Tones, you take a deep breath in, clearing your mind and allowing the sun and healing vibrations to roll over you. You imagine yourself breathing in healing energy and nothing but love, and exhaling all of the stuck, negative energy, trying to ‘push’ it out with your breath. Sometimes it felt a bit silly, but if it made you feel loads better, why not do it?
About twenty minutes pass before you slowly blink open your eyes, yawning quietly before going into child’s pose, stretching your back and hips after sitting for so long.
Lying down on your back on the mat, you stare up at the ceiling, feeling an overall sense of being okay. Your body feels good, your mind feels good, your stomach’s full of butterflies that make you smile and blush at the thought of seeing Harry in a bit.
Pulling yourself up with a grunt, you throw on a swim suit and a random pair of shorts, not caring to bring a real top. After applying a bit of sunscreen on your face and shoulders, you slide into your flip flops and fill up a water bottle before heading out the door.
Unlocking Sunflower, you sit on the edge of the side door while sliding on your scuffed white rollerskates with obnoxiously bright blue wheels. They were your pride and joys, and made you feel as if you were in a different time, enjoying the breeze on your cheeks as you skate towards your spot. The journey only took about 15 minutes, with minimal stumbles, so it was already turning out to be a great day.
Finally pulling up to the small lot, you squat down to pull of your skates, putting them behind a rock along with your socks and shorts. You shook your head as you sprinted towards the ocean, leaping into the freezing water. It was the only way you were able to get in, you were never one to wade slowly in. Swimming about half a mile out, the waves crash over you coolly, soothing your quickly warming body. It was going to be a hot day today, good to know. Treading water, you look at the coast, everything looking so small. You made sure to breathe in, capturing this exact moment in memory. The feeling of salty water on your skin, wet hair stuck to your neck and the slight burn in your arms, but this was it. This was pure bliss.
But, you’re also not insane, so after a bit you swim back to shore, spending about ten minutes doing handstands and flips before getting out, wringing out your hair on your way up the beach. Climbing up the pile of large rocks next to cliff, you lay on top of a relatively flat one, allowing your body to dry off for a little bit and give you a few extra moments of sun.
You always hated dusting off your feet for forever before getting back in your socks and skates, but rather that than get sand in them.
“Fuck, I really am killing it today,” you pant to yourself, definitely feeling a burning in your thighs as you start heading home, desperately wanting a shower and some chocolate.
Throwing your skates in Sunflower, you slam the door closed and trudge up the steps to the apartment, practically falling over as you enter the door.
Laura looks up from her phone, perched on the countertop eating a bowl of cereal.
“Look at you, sexy girl, how was the water?” She teases, handing you a banana from the counter immediately because she knows you need it.
“Good,” you sigh, taking a bite and moaning, leaning against the wall for a minute in silence.
“When’s your date with Harry again?” She asks, glancing at the clock.
Oh fuck.
The clock read 10:30.
“Okay, that’s not bad, I just need to get my ass in gear,” you convince yourself, throwing the banana away and grabbing a spoonful of peanut butter. You didn’t have time to make yourself anything else, plus you were eating with Harry soon anyways.
“You got this. Do I get to meet him?” Laura encourages, raising her thumbs at you.
You laugh and nod. “Absolutely, just don’t ask about his exes or I’m going to look crazy.”
“Got it, no exes. Get in the shower, you’re dripping everywhere!”
You run upstairs, yelling back, “I’ll clean it up,” as you head into your room, turning on Currents by Tame Impala to pump you up as you shower, quickly washing your hair and body, shaving the itty bitty stubble just in case.
Running some curl cream through your hair, you try and scrunch and dry your hair as fast as possible, which doesn’t really work, but at least you tried.
A bathrobe envelopes you as you sit down at your small vanity, starting on a little bit of makeup. Dabbing a bit of concealer on your undereyes and small blemishes, you keep it semi-natural with just bronzer, blush, and highlighter, admittedly a ton, but who’s to say. Brushing your brows out and filling in the ends a little darker, all that goes on your eyes is a brown eyeshadow and a beautiful gold pigment, then comes drenching your eyelashes in mascara.
You turn your attention back to your hair, thank god you were having extremely good luck today, because it fell perfectly, the layers framing your face so elegantly that you had to smile at your reflection. Self-love is a journey, and you were glad to be in a good space.
Checking your phone finally, you find a text from Harry, sent 2 hours ago. Whoops.
Good morning, Y/N, just wanted to make sure we’re still on for 12. Hope you slept well.
Well, it’s confirmed, you’re a completely asshole. It’s 11:15 and you still haven’t responded to a text about a date happening at NOON.
AHH IM SO SORRY hi harry ! i don’t check my phone for a while in the mornings, i’m the worst, i know. we definitely are still on, haha, noon still work for you ?
You throw your phone on your bed while you stare at your closet, trying to find a good outfit for today.
Eventually coming to a pair of high waisted white shorts that you got from your mom, thankfully having the same waistline as her in high school, and a light blue silk tank top with gold straps. Planning on wearing your black boots with the gold detailing, because, hey, it seems you’ve got to up your fashion game dealing with Harry, you place them next to your bedroom door before checking your phone.
You scared me for a minute, I was about to go eat a very sad lunch by myself. I’m going to start heading over, that alright by you?
You giggle quietly at his response, typing out,
sounds great :) i’m planning on wearing a pair of boots, should i bring sandals or anything ?
Woah, trying to outdress me?
He sends the next one moments later.
Just teasing, boots will be fine. We’re going to this cafe I really like.
of course i’m going to out dress you, who do you think i am ? and awesome !! see you in a bit !!
You grab a small black bag, putting your sunglasses case, gum, keys, wallet, chapstick, lighter, your dab pen (you never know), and a small rollerball perfume inside. Sliding in some gold hoops and placing your rings back on your fingers, you wiggle them a bit. They always look a bit naked without them on.
Putting on your boots, you head into the bathroom to brush your teeth once more before Harry arrives. But nope, the doorbell, rings as soon as you start brushing your molars.
“Shit,” you gasp, heading over to the door, toothbrush in hand.
You swing open the door and rush out, “Hey, Harry, I’ll be out in two seconds, come on in.”
Taking in his appearance, you grin at the white sunglasses pushed in his hair. Wearing a white t shirt, it’s tucked into a pair of blue pants that matches your shirt to a goddamn T, which you can’t help but laugh at as you walk away. Passing Laura in the hallway, you give her a look as she walks over to him.
Their conversation travels through your open door as you finish brushing your teeth.
“You must be Laura,” Harry starts, and you can just see him reaching his hand out.
“I am, it’s great to meet you,” she says, her smile bleeding into her voice.
“You have a beautiful home, so close to the beach too,” Harry compliments.
“Thank you, yeah, Y/N found this place forever ago and we’ve been living here since we moved out. My dad knew the landlord and they gave us a ridiculously low price for it, but I am not complaining.”
“Oh that’s sick, I’ve been in Malibu for just a bit, always kind of changing my location around LA and England.”
“That was what we thought we were going to do, but I definitely am glad we stayed here. Living in the city is fun and all, but it’s a lot, you know? We need our peace and quiet at home.”
You walk back out, purse and phone in hand, taking in their positioning. Laura’s sitting on a stool, cup of coffee in hand as Harry stands across from her, eyes on you as soon as you walked out.
“I’ll see you later,” you grin at Laura, sneaking another glance at Harry as you give her a quick hug.
“Okay, bye! Nice meeting you, Harry!” she smiles, and of course he replies with the same.
You close the door behind the two of you and he looks you up and down again, meeting your eyes and smiling.
“Hi,” you breathe out, his eyes capturing you immediately.
“Hi,” he whispers back, squeezing your exposed side. “You look really good, Y/N.”
You bite your lip to hide your smile, placing your hands on his shoulders, feeling the fabric (but really just his muscles). His hands immediately go to cup your waist, not pulling you in, just holding you.
“So do you. Like the blue,” you grin, moving your hands down to his waistband.
“Proper matching, I’d say,” he cheekily smiles, thumbs feeling the edge of your shirt’s material along your ribs, your breath hitching slightly at his movement.
You’re the first to pull away, moving your hand to lace your fingers together, tugging him gently down the stairs. He follows after you, squeezing your hand with his and shaking his head, trying to mask his smile by twitching his nose.
That gorgeous being of a car is parked in front of your house, the color alone bringing a smile to your lips, but now the top was down, which was about to make this a lot more fun.
“God, Harry, I might have to steal this from you,” you sigh, arms crossed as you look up at him seriously.
He laughs loudly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
“Maybe one day I’ll let you drive it,” He whispers, kissing the top of your head before pulling away and opening your door like nothing happened.
You stand there still for a moment before blinking and getting in, holding his hands on the door when he closes it. Turning your body, you lean out the door, placing your hands next to his as you whisper in his ear,
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
Sliding your lips along his cheek as you pull away, you plop back into the chair, putting on your sunglasses and messing with your hair a bit.
Harry clears his throat before walking around the car, sliding into the driver’s side and starting the car.
“Do you want to play music?” He slowly asks, his tone sending shivers down your legs.
You perk up at this, nodding quickly and taking the aux cord from him.
“I’d love to. Have you heard of Tash Sultana? They released an EP a few years ago, their voice is incredible. They make all their own loops and play every instrument by themselves.”
Harry gives you a side eye, grinning as he says,
“That’s some pretty new music for you, princess.”
Your lips part slightly and Harry watches closely as your cheeks flush, licking the side of his mouth with a grin.
“Have I found a nickname you like, Y/N?” His voice has raised slightly, obvious excitement in his expression.
“Only sometimes,” you shrug, trying to play that off as cool as possible. “And yeah, my ex actually introduced me to their music.”
Harry raises his eyes at this, bringing a finger to his lips to hold his laugh in.
“Why the fuck did I say that?” Your hands go up to your face as Harry finally laughs at you, turning the volume down just a little to listen to you.
Sighing for a second, you pull your hands away before blurting out,
“I don’t want you to think that I’m lying to you about not knowing your music or you, because I do listen to stuff released now, obviously. I’m not a music snob or one of those too cool for school people because I absolutely blast SZA when I’m drunk and I’m starting to overthink and-“
Harry cuts you off by taking your jaw in his hand, turning your face towards him. Perfect timing, as always, pulling up to a red light right when he needs it.
“Hey,” he whispers with a smile, stroking your cheek. “I don’t think that you’re lying to me, and I understand. I was kind of a dick for saying all that right away to be honest, but I get it. I listen to mostly oldies too, if I really think about it.”
You exhale, looking up at him.
“Okay. I’m still going to freak out about it and make sure you know.”
He squeezes your jaw slightly, scrunching his nose.
“No,” he cutely protests, and you can’t help but giggle.
He smiles in return and lets your jaw go, hands going back to grip the wheel a little bit tighter
The two of you drive for a little bit, not really saying anything. You can’t help but dance in your seat to the beat, silently mouthing the lyrics to yourself. Harry keeps glancing over at you, too, grinning at the way you blush when he notices you doing it.
“How was your morning so far?” You start, just wanting to hear him talk.
He has to talk a little bit louder over the wind, but he’s happy to get the conversation started.
“Quite good actually. I’m going to Cabo in a couple weeks and was just getting some early packing in. Don’t you hate when you go somewhere and realize you forgot something like a toothbrush at home?”
“It’s the worst, I always end up having to go to a corner store and get something. What’s in Cabo?” You ask, already so amazed at his lifestyle.
“Friend of mine is having a birthday, so we’re there for a bit celebrating, going to be an amazing trip. Happy to be here, though,” he adds, eyes flicking to yours as he says it.
“I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
“What about you? How was your morning?”
“Really good. Sorry about not texting you back for so long, by the way. I just have this thing about using technology right after I wake up, it gives me pretty bad headaches so I go as long as I can without it unless I hear it ring. But it was super productive, I got a good breakfast and read in, meditated a bit, skated to the beach and went for a swim, then got ready for this.”
“You put me to shame, Y/N, you really do.” Harry laughs, running a hand through his hair.
“I just woke up in a really good mood. I can definitely be grumpy in the morning, I’ll tell you that,” you try to explain, scared of feeling too pretentious.
“Yeah? I can see you throwing a fit if someone wakes you up before you’re ready,” Harry nonchalantly says, looking at the rings on his fingers before checking your reaction.
Cheeks hot, you feel almost scolded by him, thankful for the large sunglasses on your face.
“You’re not wrong,” you finally agree, crossing your legs smoothly.
That doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry, reaching a hand down to rest on your thigh almost immediately. His large hand wraps around your skin, thumb immediately starting to go in small circles.
“I started meditating a few years ago but I absolutely love it, I feel like it allows you to start the morning off right.”
Taking a deep breath before answering, you nod and say,
“Completely agree. It still can feel a bit weird doing it when I’m in a mood or anything, but whether you believe in it or not, having all that negative energy in you without doing anything about it isn’t good for you.”
“You’re quite cute when you talk about things you like. Light up like a little sun,” Harry smirks, pulling his sunglasses up to look at you, the piece of gum in his teeth allowing his jawline to be even more prominent. You do the same, placing them in your lap as you uncross your legs, his hand staying on your left thigh as it goes back towards the seat.
“Yeah?” You don’t stop looking at him, watching his eyes flit between you and the road.
Harry hums before adding, “I think you know that though.”
“That I’m quite arguably the epitome of all things golden? Of course, but it’s always nice to hear.”
You make a noise of protest as Harry removes his thigh to make a left, while simultaneously laughing at you.
“You are absolutely golden, love, don’t you forget it.”
He pauses for a moment before starting again.
“I’m going to warn you right now that there might be some photos taken of you when we go in or leave, or fans coming to take pictures. If that bothers you-“
Cutting him off quickly, you sit up, shaking your head.
“I dressed cute for a reason, if it happens it happens. I’m going to be pissed if someone comes for my outfit though.” You giggle at yourself and grab Harry’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I know what I’m signing up for. You’re good.”
Squeezing back, he looks down at his lap for a moment before glancing back at you, eyes so sincere your heart clenches a little.
“Thank you. Just... need a little reminder sometimes too.”
Unlacing your fingers, you stick your pinkie out, swearing, “I promise that I will always remind you that you’re not going to cause me any problems, and I’m not going to do the same. You promise to always remind me I’m golden?”
“‘Course, love. Was gonna do that anyways,” Harry chuckles, intertwining your fingers, heartbeat going just a little bit faster.
He couldn’t explain it, didn’t want to admit it to himself even, but your presence made his world just a little bit brighter. He couldn’t get you out of his mind, your smile, giggle, and sweet-smelling perfume was all he could think about since last night. His brain was trying to come up with reasons why this was a bad idea, how you could be using him, you were going to break his heart and leave without a second glance. But one look at your face, those eyes looking at him with so much wonder, made him hate the part of himself looking for excuses. These feelings felt way too much, too fast, but all he knew was he wanted to call you his girl. His sweet Y/N.
Parking his car next to some trees, he runs over to open your door, helping you step out and shutting the door behind you, placing the cover on the car quickly. The two of you walk into the cafe in silence, arms swaying next to each other. You figured he wasn’t comfortable holding hands in public on the first date.
The atmosphere of the Beachwood Cafe was everything you could want in a coffee shop. Absolutely stunning artwork covering the walls, a checkerboard floor, fun colors splattered all over. Your face must show how excited you were because you feel Harry bump you, grinning down at you. You hum, smile on your cheeks as he holds your face in his hands for a second.
“Like it?” You nod happily at his question, following the waitress to your table, one in the furthest corner from the door.
“Can I start you off with some drinks?” She asks, setting menus in front of the two of you. Harry gestures for you to go first and you quirk an eyebrow before turning.
“Can I please get a large iced coffee with some honey? Thank you so much,” you add, looking Angie, her nametag reads, in the eye.
“And for you?”
“A large iced americano would be wonderful, thank you, love.” Flashing that award-winning smile at her, she writes down his order and heads back to the front.
“This place is really cute, Harry,” you gush. “Thanks for bringing me here.”
His chest tightens at your cute face looking at him from across the table, the amount of gratitude coming from you at all times filling him with light.
“‘Course, honey. You don’t have to thank me,” He earnestly tells you, placing his chin in his hand.
“I know, but I feel like I need to,” you trail off, looking at one of the names of the scrambles on the menu. Snapping your eyes back up to him, Harry can tell where you’re going with this.
“Please don’t,” he half-laughs, half begs.
“But it’s so easy,” you pout, grinning when he sighs and waves his hand for you to continue.
“Should I ask how strong the Weid scramble is going to hit?”
Groaning into his palm, Harry tries his hardest not to laugh, but can’t help one escaping when you kick him under the table.
“Satisfied?”
“Very,” you nod, looking over the menu once more. “Have you had the Thai noodle salad? That looks hella good.”
“It is ‘hella’ good,” Harry teases, using quotation marks in the air.
“Right then, love, what’re you getting?” You respond in a British accent, folding up your menu.
“Probably the Brussels sprouts salad, it’s my usual here.”
You open your mouth to say something before your drinks are placed in front of you, Angie asking if the two of you are ready to order. Harry goes ahead and orders for the two of you, delicately grabbing the menu from your hands to hand it back to her with a charming smile on his face. Watching her walk away, you grab your drink, lifting it for a cheers.
“To living,” you simply state, Harry repeating it with a look in his eyes you can’t quite name.
“So,” you start, adjusting your position in your seat for a second. “You said you’re writing for your second album, right?”
Harry nods, licking his lips as he pulls away from his glass, catching the way your eyes wander to his mouth.
“Sort of. I want to, you know, take a break, try and just have some fun, rather than jump straight into writing and recording again. At the same time, I really fucking miss it. Writing and being in the studio and getting all that out just feels so good.”
The way his accent wraps around his words makes it hard for you to focus on what he’s saying all the way, realizing he’s waiting on you to respond.
“I definitely think you could use some down time. But that also doesn’t mean you have to stop making music. Write out your ideas when they come to you, and when you feel like you’re ready, start pumping them all out. I’m willing to bet $100 that you already have at least a few songs under your belt, though, am I wrong?” You grin at the headshake Harry gives you, catching the blush on his cheeks. “I knew it! We all do, it’s impossible to just not write, but don’t worry about timelines or due dates. You can’t rush art.”
“God, it’s just so good to hear out loud, I feel like you already know me,” Harry shakes his head, pushing his hair away from his face with one hand.
“I’m pretty good at reading people, I’d like to say,” your arm raising above you as you stretch a little, tilting your head from side to side.
Seeing your neck arch and the way your veins move slightly under your skin causes Harry to have to clear his throat a little, taking a sip of his drink as he feels his forehead start to sweat.
“What kind of artists do you normally write for?” He blurts out, trying to figure out how to get to know more about you in a roundabout way.
“If you’re offering me a job, I’m walking out right now,” you warm, raising your eyebrows. “Kidding. I don’t know, really, I write for a lot of my friends, like I said, when they need help on some of their own projects, or if I’m hanging out in the studio I get pulled around the rooms for a different set of ears. Working with Khalid was one of my favorite experiences, though, he was so fucking cool.”
Harry’s eyes sparkle at this, perking up.
“Love Khalid. He is so talented, and hilarious. I swear, my stomach was aching after being with him for a little while. I only asked because I think I’m trying to figure you out a bit. I just wanna get to know ya,” He shrugs, fingertips tapping on his glass.
“I wish you good luck on that task, Harry, I really do. The first step in recovering is admitting you need help,” you solemnly nod, bursting out laughing when he rolls his eyes and ATTEMPTS to hide his smile.
Your food is placed in front of you suddenly, and you jump, glaring at Harry for smirking at your reaction. He couldn’t help it, you were like a little puppy, overexcited and always jumping from place to place. Harry starts eating right away, sending you a quizzical look when you sit with your hands in your lap, almost like you’re waiting for something.
“You going to start eating, honey?” He gently presses, snapping you out of wherever you went.
“Sorry,” you blush, grabbing your fork and shaking your head a little. “I don’t know what the fuck that was about.”
Fuck, yes you did, and Harry knew that. You were waiting for his permission, and that thought alone sent you into a daze. Closing your eyes around the fork, you fought off the urge to moan and tried to push the fact that he already holds so much control over you out of your head. Snapping them open, you find Harry’s eyes on you, the look in them dangerous. Clearing your throat, you whisper, “It’s really good,” which Harry responds with a simple hum, leaning forward on his elbows towards you.
“You tell me if this is too forward or too much, yeah?”
Your lips part as you nod your head, not really ready for what’s about to cross his lips.
“I’ve been noticing certain... things that you do and, well, are you a sub, darling?”
Your throat dries, unable to break eye contact or even speak, only nodding when he squints his eyes a little at you. Fuck, this was not happening, you thought, reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.
“Like to hear that pretty voice of yours, yeah?” Harry urges you, hands fighting off the urge to hold your jaw in his fingertips.
“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a swig of coffee to think of something to say. “I’m going to assume you’re a dominant,” pausing to let Harry nod, jaw moving as he chews. You throw your hands up, leaning back in your seat.
“You are the complete package, Harry, shit.”
He laughs at this, covering his mouth quickly. “‘S’all you. A dream, really.”
Your heart flutters at this, shit, no, this is a FIRST date, you cannot be feeling like this. Taking a bite of your food, you are able to just sit back and look at him. Watch how he sticks his tongue out while he puts a bite in his mouth, something you’ve done since you were a kid for no reason. How his hands look almost sinful holding the white napkin to his lips.
“Staring at me, love,” he comments after a few minutes, his eyes looking at you sweetly, like he didn’t mind, but just needed to call you out.
“Merde, je veux te sucer,” you breathe out in French, banking on him not understanding you.
“Viliane,” Harry tuts, clicking his tongue at you. Before you’re able to answer, Harry is handing his card to the waitress who passed your table, asking for two boxes for your meals.
Your eyes snap to his, all the oxygen leaving your body as he brings your plate his side, getting ready to pack it up for you.
“W-Where?” Is all you manage, drinking the rest of your coffee, before setting it down on the table, a drop of honey falling down your lip. Harry can’t help but swipe it off with his thumb, slowly placing it in his mouth afterwards, not breaking eye contact, with you.
“I live nearby. That alright with you?”
Nodding slowly, you sit quietly in the booth as Angie comes back with the check and two boxes, legs bouncing excitedly as Harry packages the food up.
“Come on, lovely, let’s get out of here,” he tells you, holding you by your elbow as you walk outside, heading straight for the car. He doesn’t bother taking the top off, opening your door for you without a word and shutting it, almost sprinting to the driver’s side.
His hand finds your thigh immediately, rings shocking the delicate skin and making your muscles tense, his fingers quickly moving to massage out these aches.
“You wanna give me a safeword, pretty girl?” His voice drips with confidence, his hands moving closer to where you needed him most. His eyes keep flickering back to you while trying to focus on the road. His curls are a mess around his sunglasses, the brown hair swallowing up most of the eye ware. A pinch on your thigh reminds you that he expects an answer, shaking your body out slightly before answering.
“The stoplight system’s good. Green, I’m good, yellow, slow down or take a break, red, stop everything. What kind of dom are you, Harry?” You push, wanting to know what you’re getting yourself into. You had done a lot of kinky stuff in the past, and there were some things you weren’t a fan of.
“Mm, I’m relatively easy going. Not going to give you any rules, unless we’re playing and have a scene set up. But,” he pauses to exhale harshly, “I’m quite mean, love. I like to take control, pick you apart bit by bit until you’re just trembling under me, can’t say anything but my name. How does that sound, puppy? Tell me now how you like it.”
His voice sends shivers throughout your body and you moan quietly, biting your lip to try and stifle it. Harry’s words circle around your brain, your stomach tightening with need. All the air seems to escape you, but you know he wants an answer.
“G-good. I like it rough, dirty, just wanna please you,” you stutter out, chest rising and falling rapidly. You absent-mindedly rub your fingers against your neck, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe while thinking about what he’s saying.
“Good fuckin’ girl,” he moans, removing his hand from your thigh to place it behind your neck, squeezing it in his grasp. He knows what you want, even if he’s driving, he’s able to pick up on any little signals your body makes. Your back arches as you let out a breathy moan, eyes slipping closed.
“Tell me, princess,” he starts, squeezing the side of your throat to make you open your eyes and pay attention to him. “What do you want to happen when we get back to my house? Don’t want to go too far too soon.”
“Fuck, Harry, I just really want to suck you off, please, please, please,” you beg, a tear actually falling from your eye as you look at him. His pupils dilate at your words, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows harshly, mouth suddenly dry,
“Y/N,” he growls, reaching a hand to squeeze his growing bulge in his pants. His tanned hands and dark rings contrast the bright color, adding to your ever growing list of things that Harry does that turns you on.
The car pulls up to a gate and you sit there for a few seconds before Harry is buzzed in, probably driving way too fast back to his house. Parking in his driveway, he finally releases his hand from your neck and exits the car, making his way around to open your door. Holding your hand as you exit, he places his hand on your low back to guide you into the gorgeous home, the size of it taking your breath away. Harry gives you no time to admire it, shutting the door behind him with a slam before bringing his hand up your chest to rest on your throat, slamming you into the wall. He slips a leg in between yours and takes your hip in his free hand, guiding you to start grinding on his thigh. Your face flushes with heat as he tightens his grip.
“Know you wanna suck me off, but will you cum for me first? Don’t want this pretty cunt to go to waste.”
Your head rolls back and hits the wall, hips stuttering at his words, eliciting a chuckle from Harry as he leans in, breath hitting your lips before he envelopes them, encouraging you to start grinding faster. His tongue runs along your bottom lip, prying them open to lick into your mouth, your moans being instantly swallowed by him. Pulling away slowly, he maintains eye contact with you as he removes his hand from your throat to slip two fingers into your mouth. Feeling your wet mouth on him, sucking his fingers with such need, Harry groans lowly, removing his fingers to kiss you even harder, hands making quick work of removing your shorts.
“Such a naughty girl, can’t even wait to get to the bedroom, just has to have me feel you right here, hmm?” Harry scolds, removing his lips from yours to suck a mark into your neck, fingers moving to feel your wetness through the cloth underwear. Your hands wrap around his curls as you shakily inhale, resting your forehead on his to moan out lowly.
“Fuck, Harry,” you sigh, feeling him rub along your folds through the fabric, pushing it ever-so-slightly inside of you. His mouth pulls away from you with a pop, only to bite down on the red skin harshly, working his way up to your mouth once more. He bumps his nose against yours and opens his mouth to move his tongue past your lips. Your head is spinning, breath ragged as you suck his tongue with yours, feeling the vibrations in your mouth when he moans lowly, pulling a whimper from you.
Suddenly, he drops to his knees, pulling the thong down with him. You swallow at the change in pace and allow him to help you step out of them.
“Wanna take your boots off, sweet girl?” He checks, kissing your inner thigh softly as you lean fully against the wall. You think for a second, these were pretty comfortable, pretty solid grip, why not stay in them?
“‘S okay. Perfect height for you,” you breathe, bucking your hips up. He doesn’t even wait a second to smack your pussy, grabbing your thighs to spread you even wider.
“Filthy, you are,” he growls, licking a long stripe from your hole to your clit, a gasp immediately falling from your lips. He looks up at you and grins, licking long stripes through your folds, almost like he’s trying to remember how you feel. He takes his time catching your wetness slowly, despite the little gasps and moans coming from you. Flicking his tongue over your clit for a second, he pulls back to blow cool air on it, the motion causing your legs to falter for a second.
“Gotta stay still, okay? Can’t have you falling over,” he spits directly on your core as he says this, looking up at you with his jaw hanging slightly open, loving the way your hands go to your hair to find something to grab on. He smirks to himself, licking into you while his hands find your hips, pinching the delicate skin between his fingertips. He collects as much of you and his spit on his tongue as he can, swallowing around your clit after he sucks it into his mouth. The suction makes your hips fight to buck up into him, but you use all of your strength to stay still, causing your thighs to start quivering in his palms. Harry grins and scrapes his teeth along your clit, your loud moan going directly to his quickly hardening cock.
“Taste so fucking good, angel,” he groans, nose rubbing against your clit as he fucks his tongue into you, the soft muscle dragging along your walls and guiding your wetness into his mouth. The sounds coming from him are obscene, loud slurping, sucking, and spitting onto your trembling pussy.
“Fuck, Harry, I’m not going to last,” you cry out, feeling yourself start to clench around him. He grins around you, pulling away to thumb at your clit and look directly into your eyes.
“Mm, that’s not how good girls ask,” is all Harry gives you, slipping a finger inside and immediately curling it towards himself, finding your g-spot with ease. His lips wrap around your clit, sucking harshly while his tongue draws designs on the sensitive button.
“Please, Sir, can I come?”
This has Harry moaning against you, pinching your clit between his teeth as he slides another finger in, fucking into you faster. Your eyes roll back, one hand splayed against the wall, another in his hair to give you some sort of balance. He relentless massages and thrusts into your g-spot with his fingers, feeling you clench around them so tightly that his head starts to spin. “That’s it, puppy, ask me again,” he demands, the title you gave him sending shivers throughout his body. He sucks harder on your clit, somehow speeding up his fingers inside you. A moan vibrates against your center when you pull on his curls, your hips bucking up against his waiting hand.
“Sir, please please please can I come? I’ve been so good, haven’t moved,” you beg, gasping loudly when your legs start to shake noticeably. Harry pulls away, looking up at you and grunting out,
“You have been such a good girl, haven’t you? Go. Cum, now, right fucking now on my tongue.” A loud slapping noise is heard when Harry smacks your ass, the pain sending you over the edge. Your head hits the wall with a thud, but your moan drowns everything out, the guttural sound coming from your soul. Tilting your head back, you cum into his mouth, one leg slipping out from under you and Harry places it on his shoulder without a second thought, holding you up as you ride out your orgasm. The tightness in your stomach releases and your pussy trembles around his fingers, only encouraging him to continue the constant pressure on your g-spot.The strength of it knocks the wind out of you and sends electricity throughout your finger tips, your hips slowing down their rocking motion as Harry eases his fingers out of you. He continues to lick you clean before placing your shaky legs back on the ground together, trailing his hands up your body as he stands up.
“Thank you,” you breathe into his chest, holding on to his hips for balance. His chuckle vibrates against your cheek, and you feel him move your hair out of the way to kiss your shoulder.
“Of course, lovely. How you feeling?” He is all smiles, his voice gentle and caring as he breathes in your smell, leaving small kisses along your neck.
“G-good,” you stutter out, nudging his head to make eye contact with you. He pulls away after a second, one arm going around your waist when he notices how you’re practically falling over with how shaky your legs are. Smirking, he places his other hand on your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. Tasting yourself on his tongue was too much for you, whining into his mouth before pulling away.
“Can I suck you off now?” You ask shyly, using your best puppy dog eyes. And, wow, do they work. Harry groans, biting your bottom lip harshly before pulling away, not wasting a second before pushing down on your shoulders. You topple to the ground easily, landing surprisingly softly (thanks to Harry’s expert hands), on the hardwood floor. After helping him remove your shirt, you place your hands behind your back immediately and tuck your chin down, grinning to yourself when you hear the moan Harry let’s out at your position.
“Spoiled little girl. Gets everything and more that she asks for, hmm, yes?” Harry demands, tugging your chin up by his hands. His eyes are pointed, staring directly into yours, pupils blown out and hair a mess behind him. You can see the pieces stuck to his forehead from sweat, but his chin glistens with something that has to be you.
“Yes, sir, so good to me. Wanna make you feel good, please,” you beg, leaning closer into him, the difference in clothing setting you into a daze, seeing him fully dressed while you’re waiting on your knees in front of him, naked, panting, and pleading to have his cock down your throat.
“Greedy,” he sighs, taking his hand away from your face to slide off his shirt, tossing it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. He keeps his eyes trained on yours, daring you to avert them as he unzips his pants, stepping out of them. He looks away for a second to pull of his boots, and you take your time admiring his thighs, because, fuck. They were thick, muscled, tanned, and the little tattoos on them were asking to be bitten, you made a mental note to do that later.
“Got a bit of a staring problem, love.”
Harry’s voice snaps you out of your daydream, eyes flickering back up to him, mouth dropping open when he’s bare in front of you, slowly stroking himself. You involuntarily make a little noise in the back of your throat, sticking your tongue out for good measure. Seeing Harry’s hips thrust up into his hand and his neck vein pop was confirmation enough for you, but you waited for him to put himself in your mouth, absolute torture you must say.
Harry finally takes mercy on you, moaning out, “God, you’re such a little cockslut, just want something in that fucking mouth of yours. Bet I could leave my fingers in there all day and you wouldn’t complain once,” when he eases himself into your open mouth.
You flatten your tongue on the underside of him, not breaking eye contact as you slide off his cock to lick at his tip with feather light touches, drawing figure eights along the top. Suckling lightly on just the head, you feel a spurt of precum land on your tongue, licking it up happily. Tearing your eyes away from his, you open up your throat to begin taking him deeper, feeling his hand immediately come to your hair as you do this.
“Yes,” Harry draws out, allowing you to take control for a moment. You wanted to suck him off, so who is he to tell you how to do it? The view is what is killing him the most, though. Your tits bouncing as you slurp him down, spit falling onto your thighs, your little bit of stomach pudge falling over as you completely lose yourself in making him feel good. That is what gets him to buck into your mouth, closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip, breathing heavily as he begins to thrust into you. You pull away after a moment, jerking him off steadily as you swallow and look up at him.
“You can fuck my throat. Don’t have much of a gag reflex, anyways. Wanna see how you like it, Sir,” you pant, not giving him any time to think before you take him back into your mouth, placing your hand on the wrist that’s in your hair, giving him another okay.
“God, Y/N, you’re heavenly,” Harry breathes, testing out the waters by doing some shallow thrusts, only then beginning to actually throat-fuck you. He places his other hand around your neck, essentially pulling you into his throat and choking you from both ways. Your eyes roll into the back of your throat and you place your nose against his belly, breathing in deeply. Harry pulls himself out of you, rubbing his cock against your cheeks.
“Feel so good,” he draws out, easing himself back into your waiting mouth, rubbing the head on the ridges on the roof of your mouth. He moans through closed lips and tilts his head back, giving you the chance to admire his strong jawline from this angle, body sculpted by Michaelangelo himself. He had no room to call you all these beautiful names while he looked this fucking good getting his cock sucked.
You start speeding up your bobs, keeping him deep in your throat and only picking up a little, the change in pressure earning you a tug on your roots when Harry pulls you to look up at him.
“Mm, you want me to cum, don’t you, dirty girl,” he grunts, a lazy grin on his now flushed face. His thumbs make their way to press on either side of your cheek, moaning lowly when he feels himself through the tissue.
You hum around him, using your tongue along the vein you can feel, looking up at Harry with such need in your eyes. You pull off for a quick second, gasping loudly while saying,
“Want you to come in my mouth so bad, want to taste you and make you feel as good as you made me,” Taking him back in your mouth and sucking him off with a vice-like grip.
“Fuck,” Harry half-laughs, half-moans. “You’re incredible. Gonna make me come so fast, you’re taking me so fucking deep.”
Not even a minute later, you feel him begin to pulse in your mouth, pulling back to just suck on the head, using your tongue to dip into the hole, and Harry cums with a loud shout, burying his cock down your throat as he shoots ribbon after ribbon of come into you. You keep your eyes at his face, remembering how his mouth looks wide open, his eyes pinched closed, hair making a perfect halo around him. His throat makes you want to cry, the veins popping out and slightly red. He stays in your mouth for a while, allowing you to suck him dry and soften slightly, before pulling out of you with a pop.
“Thank you,” you croak out, swallowing what’s left in your mouth and leaning into his touch, quite spent if you were being honest.
Harry had to look away for a second, moving his hand to hold your head while he caught his breath. You were right about being golden, your skin shone, and you just radiated everything good in this world, right after he had his cock balls deep down your throat nonetheless.
“You’re too much, beauty. Thank you, did such a good job,” he gushes, kneeling down. He takes your chin inbetween his fingers and kisses you softly, just barely moving his lips. He leans his forehead against yours and wipes your lip with his thumb, allowing you to suck the bit of cum still on your face off with a blush tinting your cheeks.
“Reminds me of this morning, a bit,” he giggles, laughing louder as you hit him in the chest, grumbling ‘dumb’. He pushes your hair out of the way and holds your face in his two hands, effectively shutting you up as you breathe in deeply, feeling strangely comfortable being this vulnerable with him this fast.
“Do you wanna take a bath with me right now? Know you were on shaky legs and this hard floor for a while,” he pouts, kissing your forehead softly. You nod slowly and he smiles, nodding against you before pulling away to unzip your shoes, placing them next to the wall before he’s picking you up with way too much ease, pulling a shriek from you.
“‘Sorry, love, your poor legs okay?” he asks, holding you to his chest with one arm, using the other to hold your thigh. He receives another nod to the shoulder and he nuzzles you, trying to see what’s happening.
“I’m okay, just tired,” you sigh, and he murmurs an ‘okay’ kissing your temple before allowing you to sink back onto him, making a mental note to ask you about it once you’ve got your breath back.
“Why don’t you go turn on that shower and wash yourself real quick with some warm water and I’ll have the bath ready when I join you, that okay?” Harry whispers, sliding you down slowly. He pushes you toward the large glass door and you smile back at him, your heart bursting with appreciation.
This one is going to change you.
A/N: and that’s a wrap !! lemme know if you guys prefer this kind of phrasing (‘you said’), or if you like ‘she said’, or ‘i said’ better. this is my first time working with a full story using y/n and second/third person kind of view, so pls bear with me. also !! i know some people aren’t really cool with weed. im a ~stoner~ (such a weird thing to type out lmao) so i smoke a lot, but if y’all aren’t comfortabke with me mentioning it p much every other chapter, let me know !! (it can even be anonymously sent in) hope you liked it, and let me know if you have any other requests for future chapters or just one shots💗💗
- lana💔
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calmlftv · 4 years
Text
safe. - a.i.
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description: covid-19, also known as “the zombie virus,” claimed hundreds of thousands of victims in 2018, and while it all seemed to be going great, something much darker was hiding within research facilities across the nation. 
word count: exactly 4,001
warnings: descriptions of graphic imagery, blood, injuries, feelings of hopelessness. 
w/n: this is my first fic for the 5sos writers collab! i’m so excited to participate in this, i always love reading the fics that come out from this and im so happy i get to be part of it! my prompt for this was zombie apocalypse au so i hope i did it justice! 
taglist: @spicycal @n-ctarinenga @irwinkitten @castaway-cashton @blackbutterfliescal @ashtonsos @loveroflrh @bestyearssos​ @treatallwithkindness @bestyearslftv​ @another-lonely-heart-blog​
****
It’s been 730 days. 
That’s 24 months since the world went to shit. 
Two years since the haunting screams have driven you to nightmares and panic attacks, something you had never had to deal with in the Before. 
That’s all it was now. The Before. The time before the virus contaminated the body, before the monsters smashed into your home and tore your family apart. 
Before all of that. Before, you were a nice person. In the Before, you were having the time of your life. But now? 
Now you’re miserable. 
With a gasp you awoke again, chest heaving as your mind raced. Your palms were pressed against the cold wooden floor of the house you had cleared, eyes quickly darting between all means of entry as you assessed your surroundings. Only when you saw the makeshift barricades you had created did you begin to calm down, your eyes squeezing shut as you pulled your knees against your chest. 
I fucking hate it here. 
Moments passed until you were able to open your eyes again, your vision blurry as you scrambled up to your feet. The old and ragged coat you had been using as a blanket was bunched up in your hand, the old and rotting pillow you had used being kicked to the side as you quickly found the mass that is your backpack. You stumbled through the house, making all kinds of noise as you made it to the closest counter, a shaking hand already reaching up to open the two cabinets above. 
Empty. 
Just like the other ones. 
The dust on the shelves made your stomach hurt, determination already slumping your body as you pushed off the counter and headed towards the door. You knew it was no use to search the rest of the house for food; you had been hiding in this shithole for 14 hours, and if your searches yielded no results by now, you might as well move on.
Carefully you pried pieces of dusty and damp furniture away from the back door of the home, your foot landing on a shattered picture frame on the floor just as you cleared the doorway. You yelped, leaping away from the frame as your eyes landed on it. Captured within the frame was a beautiful blonde woman, curly hair down to her waist and a jungle green dress hugging her body as her hands rested on her rather large belly. In front of her knelt a man with shaggy brown hair, his lips pressed against her belly as she beamed with joy, the two of them so obviously in love with their bundle of joy that it could have made you sick. 
Feeling empty you tore your eyes away, the lack of blood on your foot propelling you forward and out the old, creaky door. You started off slow, like always, watching your footsteps and listening intently as you ignored everything your body was telling you; the aches in your knees and tightness in your jaw could wait; your life depended on it, after all. 
After a few miles you picked up the pace, your vision blurring slightly as you moved faster. Despite the pain that was now in your stomach you pushed on, determined to find some sort of shelter before you passed out, your weak muscles and body screaming at you with every step and breath. 
You’re not entirely certain how far you made it before you heard the near-silent steps nearby, just out of sight on your left. You sluggishly turned around, quickly trying to wipe the fog from your eyes as you tried to find the creature that stalked behind you. 
Much to your surprise a figure appeared, a gentleman peeking around a tree with dark hair. Fear struck you quickly as you backed away, almost immediately tripping over a large branch and landing on your ass as the figure stepped closer, now coming out from his hiding spot as you tried so hard to scramble away. 
“Hey, hey, wait,” he said gently, the voice jarring to you. 
Another human? You thought, shock freezing you in place. But how-
A grunt followed by a bone chilling moan came from the right, your head snapping in that direction. To your surprise, the man quickly got closer and extended his hand, carefully taking you by the arm and hoisting you up easily just as another man appeared from the direction of the sound. 
Another normal, human man, brown hair pulled back into a bun.
“There’s a horde on the way,” he stated, jerking a thumb behind him as his eyes took you in. “We’ve gotta go, Ash.” 
“Alright, Logan, but we’re taking in a stray.” 
The man stared at you and nodded, a silent agreement you had no idea of happening as the first man - Ash - carefully spun you around and guided you forward, footsteps falling in sync between the three of you as the strangers guided you onwards. 
The trees were closing in on you as you gripped Ash’s arm, knees trying to buckle underneath you from pure exhaustion and pain. The man chuckled and soon another hand was on you, the two men hoisting you up and quickly carrying you away. 
***
“Whoa-!” A woman said, strong hands immediately trying to push you down as you struggled against them. 
“Who the fuck-” you started, panic filling you now as you bit down on the side of a hand. A yelp came from the stranger and the hands were gone, your mind racing as a woman knelt beside you. 
“-shh, little love, it’s okay. You’re safe now,” she soothed, hand running in circles along your back as you focused on her voice. It was soft and gentle, the voice a stark difference to the harsh grinding in your mind. 
Safe?
Your eyes landing on her, finally taking her in as she gave you a soft smile. “Hey there,” she said kindly, tone gentle and soothing. “Sorry to have given you a fright, Devyn’s just so used to dealing with...rougher patients.” 
Her eyes guided you to the other side of the room where a young man stood at the sink, glaring at you while he seemed to nurse his bitten hand. 
The woman chuckled, gaining your attention once again. “My name’s Tabitha, but most people ‘round here call me Tabby,” she said, gently taking your hand and turning it over. Her fingers carefully pressed against the inside of your wrist, your pulse pounding against her skin. “And you, little stray, are very much alive.” 
You blinked, Tabby’s eyes taking in your face. 
“Where am I?” 
Your voice was hoarse and broken, vocal chords seeming to ache as they were used again. 
Tabby smiled. “You’re in our Community,” she said sweetly, gesturing vaguely to the room around you. “It’s a bit shabby, but not the worst place to be. It’s a safe place for people to be, little stray, I promise.” 
“M’not a stray,” you mumbled, your voice slightly stronger but not by much.
Your exam went by fairly quickly, Tabby settling you back into your bed as soon as possible before she excused herself. Once you were laying back against the pillow Devyn popped back over, quietly and carefully adjusting some things as you watched. He glanced at you and nodded, seeming to have gotten over your first impression, before he turned around and left the room. 
Once you were alone you finally, truly relaxed, sighing as you carefully sat yourself up. You were able to take in the room, looking around at the chipping paint on the walls and the bits of dust floating in the air around the only window to your left, the light reflecting gracefully as the particles moved within it. Desperate for some light you started to stand, legs shaking as you tried to make your way to the window. 
“Hey hey, what are you doing?”
The new voice startled you, adrenaline flooding your veins as you spun around. You grabbed the nearest object that could be used as a weapon and held it in front of you, ready to fight for your life if need be. 
The man who found you in the woods stood in the doorway with his hands up, a single dark curl falling over his forehead as he stood perfectly still. 
“Hey,” he said calmly, voice soft and warm. “It’s alright, I’m not here to hurt you. We’ve already sort of met, remember? In the woods?” 
As he spoke the memory came flooding back to you and you dropped the weapon, a blush settling on your cheeks as you tried to find the right words to apologize. 
He chuckled, dropping his hands and stepping in. “Someone’s a bit jumpy, hm?” He teased, obviously trying to calm you down. He glanced at your empty bed before looking back at you. “And a bit eager to explore.” 
You cleared your thoughts and nodded a bit, still hesitant to trust him too much. “Just wanted to see outside, sir,” you admitted. “Maybe feel some sun if I’m lucky.” 
The man watched you and nodded, his hands going into the pockets of his jeans. He had on a simple black t-shirt that seemed clean, something that was a foreign concept to you these days. “Well I’d definitely say you’re lucky. You barely made it to the gates of the community before you passed out, I had to have Logan carry you in.” 
The blush returned, causing him to laugh. “It’s okay, you’re in good hands here. Tabby was a doctor before all this happened, and she’s taught Devyn everything she knows.” 
You nodded. “Tabby seems nice,” you said, feeling a bit safer again. “I, uh, kinda bit Devyn on accident, so I don’t know if he likes me.” 
When you met his eyes he was containing a laugh, ultimately failing as you moved back towards your bed. “You bit him!” He chuckled, calming down a bit. “Well, once you’ve got your strength back, I’m sure we’ll have a hell of a fighter on our hands.” 
You smiled, chuckling a bit. “Not sure how much help I’ll be until then,” you said, sighing again. 
The man moved closer, sitting on the edge of your bed. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” he said softly, flashing a reassuring smile. “Start out with the easy tasks, and work your way up when you’re feeling better.” He ducked his head down, catching your eyes and smiling again. “Sound like a plan?” 
You met his eyes and nodded, the hazel color full of so much warmth that you couldn’t help but believe him. Somehow, despite being on your own for two years, it was easy to trust him; it was easy to let the fear melt away. 
He grinned, reaching to squeeze your shoulder until you jerked away. Maybe you weren’t ready to trust him too much. “We’ll work on that,” he said kindly, nodding and standing up. “I’ll check in this evening around dinner, okay? Maybe bring by a surprise, for our Lucky Stray.” 
You both nodded to each other before he headed towards the door. You quickly remembered something and stood again. 
“Wait,” you said, the man turning around in the doorway. “What’s your name?” 
He smiled. “Ashton,” he said simply. “M’name’s Ashton.” 
You nodded, the man repeating the action before he grabbed the doorknob and stepped out.The door closed softly behind him, the silence making your ears ring as you stared at the window again. 
This is a hell of a place, you thought, settling back against the bed once again. A blanket was draped at the end of the mattress but you curled up without it, the previous rush of adrenaline in your system keeping you warm as you closed your eyes. 
Maybe I’ll stick around for a while, you accepted, your exhausted mind already starting to settle into sleep. Where it’s safe. 
For now. 
****
Over time you were able to recover, your days filled with visits from Ashton and other members of the community. The visits you were always most excited for were Ashton’s, the length of them going from a couple minutes every couple of days to a few hours every single day. Sometimes he’d bring in whatever work had to do and set up a table next to you, teaching you the different jobs within the community from cleaning weapons to childcare to anything else that may need to be done. While you absolutely adored being able to learn about the community more and more, you enjoyed your time with Ash a bit more, the two of you building a strong bond that made recovery easier. It certainly helped that your heart would skip a few beats every time you saw him, his winning smile and wonderful laughter having their calming effect on you. 
Before you knew it you were moved to your own room, a window looking east over the woods bringing you peace on the mornings you awoke in a panic. Though the things that lurk in the darkness between the trees terrified you, the peace that the air carried would blanket around you enough to calm your racing heart. 
The community had slowly become your home, the sights and sounds of the people and the work to be done settling you into a new, welcoming routine that felt like fresh air after the suffocating two years you had been through. All was well and perfect in the months that passed, and as you and Ashton continued to steal glances and flirty smiles, you finally felt normal again. 
Until the day that it changed. 
Day 1,095. Three years since history was changed forever. 
Your normal nightmare was terrorizing your mind again, your body tossing and turning in the restless sleep you had to endure before the dawn of a new day could wake you. This time, however, it felt urgent, more panicked than it had before; the screaming was closer, somehow, the footsteps of your loved ones echoing desperately around you as your mind spun it’s twisted tale. You did everything you could to escape it all but felt the cold hand wrap around your mouth, covering your screams as you tried to launch yourself away. 
“Wake up!” 
You jumped at the sudden voice, the sound shattering the terrifying images that flashed within your mind. You tried to lurch out of bed but a heavy weight stopped you, the hand from your nightmare becoming real as you fought to get up. 
“Stop-” the voice said, the word turning into a grunt as a blow landed against a solid chest. Your eyes began to focus as the voice came again, messy dark hair and hazel eyes finally coming into view.
“Stop fighting,” Ashton asked, voice barely above a whisper as he kept you quiet. You met his eyes and he held a finger to his lips, his other hand still covering your mouth as he paused. 
After a moment he nodded and moved, taking your hand to help you up from the bed. “We have to go,” he said softly, with urgency in his voice. “Do you need to grab anything?”
You stopped, your brain stuck on his first request. “Go?” You asked, voice louder than you anticipated as Ashton quickly covered your mouth again. 
After another moment he pulled away, hands resting on your shoulders. “We don’t have a lot of time,” he started, “but I’ll make it quick. We’re being raided, and we have to go. Right now.” 
Your mind started spinning again, the new information feeling impossible to process as Ashton took your hand again, obviously taking your silence as his cue to start leaving. He led you to the closed door of your room, pressing against the wall as he slowly opened it enough to peek outside. 
Your mind snapped to attention at the sound of a distant shout. “Tabby-” 
“-is already gone with Logan,” he assured you, looking back at you. “They’re getting everybody else out. I wanted to come for you.” 
The gesture was sweet, and while it wasn’t lost on you, your mind now focused solely on getting the hell out of there as more yelling started on the other side of the community, followed by harsh crashing. 
“Okay, let’s go,” Ashton said suddenly, hand tightening around yours as he dashed out of your space and dragged you along. Your steps eventually synchronized, the two of you quietly avoiding detection as you tried to loop around to where everybody else was supposed to be. 
As soon as you got close enough a loud bang echoed through you, chilling you to the bone as a warm liquid started to trickle down your neck. Within seconds you were being dragged along again, adrenaline giving you strength as Ashton started running. Your mind became cloudy as your body fell into autopilot, the distant sounds of your own footsteps not even feeling real as you carefully made your way through the forest. 
Ashton kept the pace, only slowing down as the trees got more and more dense, the path he was taking you down becoming harder to safely navigate as you escaped the home you thought was safe. The questions started racing through your head, each one leaving you more and more confused and frustrated than the last. 
While lost in your thoughts your feet collided with a fallen branch, seemingly taking you by surprise as you tripped over it. You tried to catch yourself but failed miserably, your legs giving out from pure exhaustion as your ribs and jaw met the dirt and debris you had previously been running through. 
Ashton stopped the second your hand left his, spinning around just in time to watch you land on the ground. He quickly came to your side, kneeling beside you and helping you slowly sit up.
“Alright?” He asked softly, eyes meeting yours as you nodded. He looked around, pausing as he heard the unmistakable shuffling of a zombie. He quickly quieted you and helped you stand, leading you in the opposite direction of the sound as the smell invaded your nostrils, turning your stomach over in protest as you forced yourself to move. 
The new path was a large loop, the sound and smell making your heart race. At one point you caught a glimpse of it, the flesh blackened and decaying, exposed bits of muscle staring at you as you held in the contents of your stomach. 
Ashton tugged you further, slowly and carefully until you finally broke through into a clearing. He helped you sit and started to walk the edges of the small space you now inhabited, checking the trees until circling back to kneel in front of you. 
“Alright, we’re about a half mile away from the meeting point,” he said, meeting your eyes. “The others will be taking a longer route in case the raiders followed them, so it’ll just be us for a day or two.” 
You nodded to his words, wincing at the sudden pain in your right ear. His brow furrowed as you reached up, fingertips barely touching it before you hissed. 
He was suddenly very close to you, turning your head and carefully inspecting the injury. He chuckled. “They nicked you real good back there,” he stated, your head jerking away as his fingers got too close. “Sorry. We need to get you to the point, get you bandaged up.” 
All you could do was nod, your mind still racing from everything that had happened. It was all too fast, too overwhelming and hard to process; you had just been sleeping in the safest place you knew of, finally finding somewhere that feels like home, just to have it all ripped away from you just as suddenly. It gave you whiplash, and quite frankly, it was enough to drive you to the edge of your sanity. 
You just wanted one good thing to stay good. Was that really too much to ask?
The two of you were quiet during the rest of your break, the silence only breaking when Ash said it was time to move. Despite the two of you being out of immediate danger he still took your hand, the two of you making your way to this meeting point he had mentioned. 
When you arrived you didn’t even see anything at first; the entrance was in the ground and heavily guarded by plants and fallen logs, Ashton brushing it all away before tugging open the heavy metal door. Inside was a ladder, Ash gesturing for you to go down first. Despite everything aching and screaming for you to stop, you obeyed, climbing down the ladder first as Ashton followed you and sealed the two of you in. 
According to Ashton a member of the community had found this old bunker while hunting one day, the man literally stumbling upon it and finding his way inside. When Ash and the others caught up to him they decided to keep it hidden, only telling a few others about its existence for situations just like this. 
“So what happens with it when we don’t need to hide in it?” You asked, venturing to what seemed like a bedroom with a single bed in the middle of it.
Ashton chuckled. “Nothing,” he answered, following you and leaning against the doorway. “It just sits here, really, until we have a use for it.” 
You sat on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in the concrete around you as Ashton moved towards you, his eyes locked on you. 
“You should get some sleep,” he stated, holding up a hand before you could protest. “It’s obvious you’re exhausted, love, and I know you’ve got to be in pain.” 
You dropped your eyes. “I’m fine, Ashton.”
“Don’t lie to me.” 
The tone in his voice made you look up, meeting his eyes again. “M’not lying. I’m fine.” 
He sighed, moving back towards the door. “Fine. But I’m cleaning up your ear.” 
Before you could protest he was gone, only coming back once he had found a first aid kit. You huffed but let him take care of you, hissing as he cleaned your wound and wrapped it with a bandage and gauze.
“There,” he said, sitting back and cleaning up the mess. “Once Tabby gets here she’ll really get that fixed up for ya.” 
You nodded, his voice sounding far away as the bandage muffled him. He tossed the kit on the ground beside the bed, the two of you sitting in silence. 
“What are we going to do now?” You asked softly, your mind still thinking of the home you had lost. 
He shrugged. “We’ll start over,” he answered, his voice just as soft. “Find a new place for everybody. Build new defenses. Maybe start planting our own crops, even.” 
You looked over at him, chuckling a bit. “Alright, Farmer Ash,” you teased, the man laughing lightly. You both fell silent until you found the courage to speak again. “Maybe I am tired.” 
He chuckled and looked at you, gesturing for you to lay down against the pillows. “Get some rest, then,” he said, standing and moving towards the door. 
“Wait,” you said, the man pausing and turning towards you. “Stay with me? Just until I fall asleep.” 
He smiled and nodded, coming back and sitting on the opposite side of the bed as you got settled. You gave him a look and he rolled his eyes, laying back himself and settling in. 
You faced each other, eyes locking as he smiled. “You can’t sleep with your eyes open,” he teased, earning a light laugh from you. 
“Fine, fine,” you said, letting your eyes fall shut as you slightly adjusted your sleeping position. After a second you opened your eyes again, seeing Ashton with his closed. 
“Ash?” 
He cracked one eye open. “Yeah?”
“You promise this new place will be safe?” 
“Darling, you’ll always be safe with me. I promise.” 
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