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fang-and-feather · 1 year

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Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Rating: G

Category: F/M, M/M, Multi

Relationship: Arthur Conan Doyle/Vincent van Gogh/OC

Prompt(s): Multiamory March Day 2 - Supernatural from @polyamships and Year of the OTP March - acceptance from @yearoftheotpevent

Summary: When strange things start to happen, Arthur is convinced the mansion is haunted. While he tries to capture the ghost, Vincent finds out the true nature of the playful "spirit".

I was going for all of my fics for this fandom to take place in the same alternative universe, but this one takes place in a different one, because I decided to go with an alternate ship. In fact, I decided to use my IkeVamp writings this month to try out new characters and some of the ships I was suggested (in the polyship format I am more comfortable with for now) and learn them by trial.

One more for my list of: this prompt was more fitting of a longer fic but i don't have time to write all of it right now so I wasted a lot of time trying to shorten it

AO3 Versions / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

Vincent had been worried about his boyfriend’s sleeping habits for the last few days.

He understood when Arthur was writing. Vincent himself had nights when he would paint, no matter the time. Their works had to be done when they were inspired to do so.

In the past week, all the males in the mansion had been reporting strange events, from the others acting strange, to illusions. Vincent was the only one who had never seen anything.

Dazai had roped Arthur into hunting down what he was convinced to be a kitsune. And Arthur was both a good detective and very curious, so he had gone along, which meant long hours into the night hunting.

Vincent tried to help, although their girlfriend, Reina, insisted they were wasting their time.

In the end, she had been right. All of their efforts had been unfruitful. The closest they got to seeing the kitsune was that morning, when Arthur had convinced another of the mansion’s girls, Amy, to help him make some inari sushi as bait but, in the end, the spirit cast an illusion to distract them and stole the food.

That afternoon, they had allowed themselves a break, at least. Vincent was sitting in his bed, with Arthur laying beside him, head on his lap, while Vincent ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair.

Arthur looked so relaxed and content, and Vincent was happy to at least support his partner like that. He just wished the peace would last longer.

“Do you want to continue searching?”

“Of course. A detective never gives up until the case is solved. But you don’t have to accompany me if you don’t want to, luv. Rei must be quite lonely by herself.”

Maybe Arthur was right. They had only briefly seen Reina at breakfast, but as soon as Arthur asked about the kitsune she wished them good luck and left them to their hunt. But what Vincent wanted at the moment was more time for the three of them, but Arthur was so determined to solve the mystery of the spirit haunting the mansion.

Vincent couldn’t deny he was curious too, though, so helping Arthur wasn’t just about to spend time with his boyfriend.

Sometimes it was complicated having two partners with different needs. But Vincent wouldn’t trade any of them for a simpler relationship.

“It’s okay. I promised to be your assistant in this case.”

“Thank you, Vincy.” Arthur tugged at his hand and kissed the back of it. “I’ve been thinking about something that happened this morning. Amy was laughing whenever she thought I wasn’t looking. When I asked, she said I was wasting my time, just like Rei. I thought she might be the kitsune.”

“But she wouldn’t have scared Jean that day.”

“True. You are the only one who hasn’t been tricked by her, except for this morning. So I was thinking of Mai, instead.”

Mai was Theo’s girlfriend and was a little too serious to go around pranking people, in Vincent’s opinion, but he could see where his boyfriend’s conclusion came from, except for one thing.

“She wouldn’t have tried to trick Theo, either.”

“Maybe after that argument they had the other day. It was the only time Theo complained about the kitsune. All the other girls know, and they must have some sort of promise not to tell anyone.”

Why? Vincent was about to ask when someone knocked on the door and they had to leave it for later.

A little after Arthur left, Vincent found himself approaching the window to observe the garden, still thinking about the interrupted conversation.

Arthur never said things he didn’t have a good base logic to support, and he was good at catching details most people would miss. Vincent had to agree that the kitsune being someone in the house made sense. Or the other theory Arthur had before, that it had followed the girls through the door. What didn’t make sense was for it to take so long to manifest.

Observing the garden, he saw Amy working there. As if noticing him, she spun around and looked up, waving with a smile as she saw him. He waved back, and she laughed before returning to watering the plants.

Then Vincent saw Jean entering the garden, but his attention didn’t fall on his girlfriend, and he looked surprised and confused. Vincent followed the man’s gaze, to see another Amy on the other side of the garden, who winked at Jean.

The first Amy, which Vincent was convinced was the real one, finished her job and looked at her boyfriend, then at her double. She only frowned and marched to where Jean was, practically dragging her boyfriend away.

The fake Amy pouted as she watched them leave, shaking her head, before transforming into Reina.

But she couldn’t be the real Reina, either. She might have noticed he was watching and was teasing him.

Then she looked surprised at whatever she was staring at and looked up to see him. She jumped in surprise and dashed away.

Arthur was right. The kitsune lived in the mansion, hiding in plain sight. But, unless he got an undeniable lead, Arthur would investigate every other girl in the house before ever suspecting his own girlfriend.

Vincent himself was stunned for a moment. Why would their girlfriend be hiding from them? And why would she take so long to even use her powers?

Maybe Arthur was also right and all the girls agreed to hide it for a reason. She wouldn’t hide it just to mess with Arthur and the other guys.

Both the possibility of Reina being afraid to trust them with her secret, or of her and probably Amy hiding it for their safety worried Vincent. He loved her and wanted her safe, but he couldn’t help when she hid from him.

Now that she knew he saw her, maybe they could talk about it. But when he went looking, he couldn’t find her anywhere.

Only when he returned to his room later was that he found Reina sitting on his bed.

Although he knew it was his girlfriend, she looked more like a female version of Arthur. The more he looked over, the more he could see traits of both of his lovers in her, blended together in a curious harmony.

“Rei? Why do you look like that?”

She laughed, voice sounding like her own, and stood up to approach him.

“Hi, prince. Just a little surprise. And kind of showing off my powers since you found out. Did I do a good job?”

Vincent blushed when she wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling quite seductively at him from very close, but he touched her cheek.

“You look perfect, but I would rather have my beautiful girlfriend back and my boyfriend actually here.” He chuckled, smiling at her.

He wanted to ask about the whole kitsune thing, but assumed she would only talk when Arthur found her out and she could explain things to both of them at once.

“Really? What about after Arthur comes back? Should we wait in his room?”

Vincent could practically hear the hidden suggestion in her words, and it was rare for Reina to be so forward with these things. He was tempted to just accept it.

“Like this?” It was the only thing that made him hesitate.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it, of course, but I did have something in mind while we wait. Or we could go meet Arthur, but I would rather not see Amy again today.”

“She got angry because of what I saw early?”

“She’s been more protective this week than usual, and I realized a little too late. It has been a hectic week. I missed spending quality time with you and Arthur.”

Vincent didn’t resist when his girlfriend kissed him, despite her not returning to her true form. He had missed Reina too and would totally indulge her if it made her happy.

Arthur never imagined this ending for the great mystery that he’d been trying to solve the past week. He didn’t feel like sharing his findings with anyone but his boyfriend, either. It would be fun to see the others trying to figure it out themselves.

Although he might just tell Comte, who had ‘hired’ him for this, and Vincent would likely tell Theo. But it would be fun to just tell Dazai he had solved the case and not what he found out.

It had been quite the chase. A nice challenging game. Maybe because his personal interpretation of the clues got in the way of what could have been a simple solution otherwise? Arthur didn’t know, and it didn’t matter.

He had figured it out in the end. Of course he did. Now all that was left was the why it happened. Was it just a game? Because he hadn’t been able to find a cause.

But he had decided to simply ask that from Reina. He had figured her out, and she owed him an explanation. And maybe some other sort of prize, especially if it was really just a game on her part.

First he would talk to Vincent, then the two could talk to Reina together.

But Arthur couldn’t find Vincent anywhere in the mansion at first. He found him in the last place he expected, his own room, with a woman that looked like him.

He immediately knew what was happening, and it was such a cheap trick that no one would have fallen for it, but Reina had just come out and told Vincent everything?

“Having fun in my room without me?” He teased. “And they say I am the naughty one.”

Reina laughed and Vincent just smiled at him, gesturing for him to join them.

“We were waiting for you.” Vincent told Arthur.

“I was just showing Vincent something I can do. I don’t think you would have liked this one, anyway.”

With someone who looked like him, even if Arthur knew it was his girlfriend? Likely not.

“Why don’t you turn back and show me something different then, luv?”

As if she was just waiting for him to ask, Reina shifted to sit on the bed. The details of her transformation that Arthur got a glimpse of were surprising. Would be fun if she could do that without looking like him.

Vincent also sat up, and Arthur stood by the other side of the bed.

When she turned back to the form they were used to, it wasn’t without showing the traits of her true nature. The pairs of ears and tails had fur the same color as her hair, unlike the depictions of kitsunes in old tales they had been told. Reina stared down and bit her lip.

Arthur ruffled her hair and sat on her other side, while Vincent caressed her cheek and ran his thumb over her lips until she stopped biting it.

“Why were you hiding from us, luv?”

By the way she was acting, Reina wasn’t doing it just for fun.

“When the girls and I were younger, someone sealed our powers and memories because of an accident I barely remember. I only recovered them about a week ago and Amy wanted to figure out why, first. And…” Reina sighed, her ears dropping. “I wasn’t sure how you would react. When we met, you thought I was human, but now… I wasn’t sure how things would change.”

“Nothing will change, Rei.” Vincent hugged her closer. “Neither of us fell in love with you just because you were human. You are the one who taught us how to love again, after all.”

Maybe that would change their relationship, but they could only grow closer from facing these changes.

“You are perfect the way you are. Still our beautiful girl.” Arthur kissed her cheek. “Beautiful and naughty. You had me running in circles for a week and Vincy quite worried.”

“Sorry. It was an accident at first, but I thought it was fun. Although you were never a target, just happened to be in the wrong place. So I found it interesting to see if you could catch me.”

“And I did. What do I get for it?”

Reina laughed.

“Actually, Vincent found me first. It was carelessness on my part, but he is the one with rights to the prize.”

“I don’t mind letting Arthur choose.” Vincent told her. “I just want to spend more time with my partners.”

Smiling, Reina warped one arm around each of her boyfriends’ shoulders and a tail around their middle.

“Both worked hard, and you both accepted me, so I should reward both of you, then, right? I’ll make up for this last week.”

They still had many questions, but getting these answers could wait. The moment felt like a long waited reunion, like they hadn’t seen each other all week instead of just having separate schedules. For now, they only wanted a little of each other’s time.

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

#MultiamoryMarch #YOTP 2023 #ikemen vampire #ot3: arthur x vincent x oc #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #polyamory #ikevamp #fanfiction #ikevamp fanfic #oc: reina #fang's writing #MultiamoryMarch2023

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thebiscuiteternal · 7 months

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nhs dies and becomes a ghost. he goes to wait at the coffin. who is he waiting for and who emerges? dealers choice,, either sangyao or nie bros is fine.

Por que no los dos?

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The temple and its deceased inhabitants had been abandoned for decades.

The villagers had developed a number of stories about it, some based in actual history, many more just made up for entertaining tourists.

There was only one that the children of the village actually believed, though most of them, once they were adults and no longer amused by such silly ideas, would come to the conclusion that they had only been imagining things and scaring themselves.

Most of them.

"Here you go," A-Xia's father said as he handed her a whole handful of green ribbons he'd cut. "If he comes tonight, we want to be prepared, don't we?"

"Yes!" she said brightly, stuffing them in her little sling bag along with the fruit she'd gathered.

Her stomach rumbled a little when her hand brushed the plums, but it was fine. Her father had told her all about how their guest would encourage her to eat them instead of accepting the offering.

Checking one more time that she was all set and her lantern was ready, she called a goodbye to her mother and got a hug from her father before racing out the door to the edge of the village and beyond.

No one cleared the path to the temple anymore, and rain had soaked the leaves the day before, so it wasn't long once she passed into the forest before she had to slow down to keep from slipping and falling on her face. She still made it to her destination just as the sun finished sinking behind the trees, and plopped down just inside the the main doors with a sigh of relief.

Like her father, she'd always loved the temple. Everyone else, even those who'd met their guest, talked about the unsettling feeling of the place, but it had never bothered her at all, and neither had the stories.

In fact, she was starting to have a hard time keeping her eyes open, when the soft sound of small bells made her jerk wide awake.

He was here!

Grabbing her bag, she bolted from the entrance room to the main hall.

And there he was.

The moonlight through one of the high windows meant she could see right through him, but that didn't stop the inky black of his hair and the shimmer of the silver and green robes he wore from making her breath catch.

The stories -at least the ones that had a grain of truth in them- said that there were actually two people buried in the stone coffin he stood at, and she watched as he carefully separated the flowers in his arms into two piles- camellia and chrysanthemum.

When he had finished, she gathered up her nerve and approached, ribbons in hand, to offer to tie them into bundles.

At his tired, sad, and grateful smile, she knew she'd be visiting as many times as it took to help him get whatever he kept coming for.

#mdzs #nie huaisang #child oc #fanfic #spooky jam

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the-pale-goddess · 1 year

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Is there something Ethan & Tiffany struggled with about each other when they moved in together? Like a habit one of them had that used to drive the other crazy.

Of course they struggled! They’re perfectly flawed humans 🥰

Let me start by acknowledging an important aspect of that change. Even though Tiffany was spending the majority of the week at Ethan’s place before she officially moved in, the transition was a major step forward for them both. Neither Tiffany nor Ethan shared the apartment with a partner before, so they had a fair amount of anxiety to deal with. What’s more, the last time Ethan lived with someone was during the first year of his internship. He was particularly worried that he would scare Tiffany away or worse—reach the conclusion that moving in together was a serious mistake.

At first it was…Awkward. Suddenly, all those precious moments together were riddled with fear—they didn’t know how to approach each other in this new arrangement and the constant presence of the other felt overwhelming. Should they do everything together? Should they entertain each other and talk all the time or keep it quiet? Are they annoying? Are they doing enough? Are they doing too much? Is this how living together should work? Are they overstepping? Is this…normal?

After a day or two, the initial awkwardness and tension vanished, proving that there was nothing to worry about in the first place. E&T realized that nothing really changed and they can still be comfortably themselves at all times, that living together doesn’t take away or limit their freedom and it’s not meant to make them fully dependent on each other, that silence can be full of devotion too and indulging in some much needed me-time while sitting next to each other is an underrated love language.

As for the annoying habits, there surely are some:

Ethan had a very hard time accepting the fact that his precious order was irreversibly disrupted; Tiffany is a very neat person as well, but she tends to arrange things in a slightly different way, and that drives Ethan mad. For example: she puts toilet paper on a more approachable shelf.

Tiffany loves wearing Ethan’s clothes around the house. After laundry days, they often end up in her wardrobe instead of his. He’s not a fan of that mix up, though he certainly enjoys the sight of Tiff wearing his shirt like a robe with nothing underneath kfjgkdjgkf

Ethan prefers not to turn on all the lights. Tiffany can’t stand that, dim lighting fogs her brain and makes her sleepy too early in the evening.

In the beginning, they used only one blanket, but Ethan was stealing all of it and Tiffany was forced to bring her own. Unfortunately, it was not enough to stop this notorious blanket thief: when they fall asleep all cuddled up, T wakes up cold and shivering in the middle of the night anyway kdhdkhdkdb

Her make-up products are all over the apartment. Often in the most unexpected places, depending on where she was doing her make-up at a given moment. Ethan wonders how is it possible that she always remembers where she left every single one of these item and why does she own so many lipsticks in an almost identical shade.

Thank you for thinking of my babies and sending this amazing question, lovely Anon! Please, excuse my late reply (as per usual) ❤️

#queueland baby!#ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan x tiffany

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septembersghost · 2 years

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How are you feeling about the finale now?

That Vanity Fair video had my hopes up, but after the last episode and based on what I inferred from some articles, I'm at the point where I think Bob meant it more in the sense that all of Jimmy's choices are motivated by his love for Kim and the pain he feels from losing her. And if that's all there is to it, I'd be so underwhelmed. Kim has been the MVP of this show for its entire run by now, and to see her reduced to nothing more than the ghost that haunts Saul/Gene, rather than an active participant in the story, would be so disappointing.

I've personally never been a fan of "destructive man pain" narratives, and this is what this reads like to me now. Kim's role seems to be restricted to causing him to spiral. While I was willing to let that go in the BCS to BrBa transition because we had to get why Saul is Saul in BrBa, the Gene timeline was wide open for something new, with no constraints, and, instead, they doubled down on it.

I wasn't expecting them to get back together necessarily, but I was hoping that the finale would at least leave them in a place where a shot at some sort of future down the line is not outside the realm of possibilities. Where we challenge the assumption that together they're just poison. But with where they're taking Gene now, I can't help but feel like that is very much wishful thinking, and even worry we might never see them meet in Gene's timeline.

Anyway, sorry this ask became a bit of a rant. Every episode is getting harder and harder to digest.

how am i feeling? scared and heartsick in all honesty!

the vanity fair video had my hopes up too, but i really don't know if perhaps they're coming at this internally as actors very differently than some of us are externally as the audience. i do not think it's as simple as, "jimmy fell apart when kim left and everything he does is motivated by that pain," we know this narrative is richer than that. while yes, she definitely does impact the entirety of what he does and who he becomes, as does his trauma from various situations and unresolved grief and other assorted issues, and she does shape and color the whole of his narrative, i don't believe the ultimate conclusion will only be down to that. it's too reductive of them both, and of the scope of their relationship.

additionally, it's really important that she's alive. i don't consider it on quite the same level as other "destructive man pain" arcs because she's living in the world, and he chose to react very badly to her loss, but it's not motivated by something like revenge so much as it is by self-hatred. (interestingly, if anyone has a "motivated by revenge because of the violent fridging of a lover" narrative, it's gus, and his is a bit of a subversion.) jimmy didn't have to do this, kim certainly wouldn't want or ask him to, but he's so self-destructive and incapable of dealing with this accumulation of everything, and so desperate for her to still hear him in some way, that he subsumes himself with his own worst image in direct correlation to her influence and absence. this happening with gene isn't a new iteration of that, it's a spiral and repetition of the same broken pattern (which is why i compared it to a relapse). it's not her fault, but jimmy won't be able to deal with that or accept the weight of it unless he reaches some sort of internal resolution.

they've never taken her agency or reduced her in any way, so i can't fathom them doing that in the last episodes. in fact, she may very well have been further trying to claim some direction in that conversation and he reacted badly, we won't know until we hear it in full. they respect her character so much, and rhea's performance, that i feel she still must have an active and vital role to play.

all that said, my hope that they might reconcile or have some sort of reunion slightly bending towards hope has dwindled considerably (and i kind of always knew i was deluding myself in that wish - and i will continue to do so! *that sign can't stop me because i can't read!*). i still do think they'll see each other, but under much less positive circumstances than i was hoping they might find before. (gilligould, please feel free to prove me wrong!) i do also think that 6x11 was constructed to worry us intentionally, though, that it's a nadir on purpose, and something else is going to have to happen to shake him in all of this. there's a reason it was paralleled to breaking bad, to walt. we saw him at a boiling point and that can't hold. something has to change. or shatter.

and if they DON'T have even a bittersweet moment in the ending, i still would challenge the assumption that together they were only poison, because saul's entire existence proves that wrong anyway. we're the silent greek chorus, we know the tragedy ahead of time, we know when she says that that it isn't entirely the right conclusion. we know she's self-destructing. and peter compared her to a phoenix already, so it might be her rise from the ashes as much as it will be jimmy's that allows them to emerge in some semblance of synthesis and empathy at the end.

there's just no way they leave us with the idea that she was only a ghost in his tale, and he was doomed to never change, and their love was simply untenable. that's not the tone they've set, even in the bleakest or hardest parts of this story (imho!). she left with immense love remaining for him, they could've written that breakup very differently, with rancor and no love left in it at all, but what makes it ache so deeply is the fact that it's still filled with love. this has largely been about desperation and human flaws and responses to loss and struggles for acceptance and what it means to be seen, even at your darkest. they've said so many times that it's not so much about power and control/fear as it is about acceptance and love - which doesn't mean those things can't turn and go wrong, they do. but it also doesn't mean they're destined to be trampled in the dirt forever.

each episode being harder to digest feels very intentional too. they've talked about how this is psychological and an unconventional ending and will make us think and will linger. they want this to have substance and resonance that sticks, but that may mean it's a little more grim or murky than we might have hoped.

The only hope I have left is that if Jimmy finally emerges from the ashes with some sort of clarity (as Bob seems to imply), and if everything ultimately is about Kim (as he also seems to imply), then that means something good must come from his love for her too. i do think they'll give us something of this, even if it's only a glimmer. i really do. i don't think the story can conclude without it.

#jaimetheexplorer #letterbox #better call saul #bcs spoilers

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fanboy-2004 · 2 years

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Another controversial opinion…

Hagrid’s Hogwarts House…

I think he was likely in Slytherin. This is entirely based on his conversation with Tom Riddle when Aragog was framed for Myrtle’s death.

First Point - they’re on a first-name basis. Riddle calls Hargid “Rubeus” and Hagrid calls him “Tom”. If they were in different houses, adding the factors of the two year age difference and the fact Hagrid was a half-giant miscreant and Tom only associated with pureblooded bigots, it wouldn’t make sense for them to know each other at all, let alone by first name. But if Hagrid was in Slytherin that would make Tom his house Prefect and someone he’d already known for 2 years prior to this.

Second Point - the way Tom talks to Hagrid. The language he uses and the way he uses it is very specific. It’s familiar and almost even sympathetic. He’s trying to frame Hagrid, yes, but from an outsiders view, or even from Hagrid’s view, Tom’s approaching the situation very tactfully. He makes it seem like he’s trying not to hurt Hagrid’s feelings. He even makes excuses for him. “I don’t think you meant it to kill anyone… I suppose you just let it out for exercise…” He even says “Come on, Rubeus.” This is polite, almost even friendly. If Hagrid was in another house there would be no need of this. The exchange would be a lot more like a telling off coming from a Prefect.

Third Point - Hagrid isn’t scared of Tom. At the end of this exchange he literally tackles him. Hagrid snatches Tom’s wand out of his hand and throws him to the ground so his spider can escape. Not only does that take guts, as we know Tom Riddle probably terrified younger students, but I can’t imagine any 13 year old, even a 7 foot one, doing that to someone who holds the kind of power over them that Tom did in that moment. Hence it can be assumed that Hagrid knew Tom well enough, or so he thought, that he wasn’t afraid of him. Remember, Hagrid didn’t know he was being framed. As far as he knew Riddle had just made an accidentally false accusation, a mistake. He had no reason to be enraged enough that this assault could be explained by anything other than he was buying time for Aragog to escape.

Fourth and Final Point - Riddle chose Hagrid to frame. Think about it. In Harry’s fifth year, Ron and Hermione were made Prefects. How well would they know the younger students of other houses? Not very well, even the troublesome ones. Unless caught in the act, Hogwarts Prefects seemed to deal mainly with their own students. And out of everyone in the school, everyone Tom knew anyway, he chose Hagrid. He stood in a classroom in silence and thought of every possible person he could frame and chose Hagrid. He must have known him well enough to know that this was a safe enough plan. This is Voldemort we’re talking about, he’s careful, he’s clever. His plan had to be foolproof. There could be no room for what ifs or mistakes.

Conclusion? I think Hagrid was in Slytherin. It makes no sense in regards to the this specific scenario for him to be in any other house. ESPECIALLY since Tom surrounded himself with the pureblooded, rich and well-known. Someone like Hagrid would only have even the slightest possibility of a look-in if they were in the same house.

And I know, I know, Hagrid seems to dislike Slytherins just as much as everyone else in the books but there could be lots of reasons for this. Maybe he hates them because of Tom’s actions. Maybe he doesn’t hate them at all, maybe he just dislikes a few specific ones with good reason. (I’m in Slytherin and I hate Malfoy and his friends). Personally, I believe he dislikes Slytherins because he was probably tormented and bullied by his housemates in school. Slytherin house in the 1940s, full of pureblood mania and hatred of half-breeds? I’d be unsurprised, if he was in Slytherin as I suspect, if he spent every single night at Hogwarts wishing he had been sorted into a different, more accepting house.

Maybe he was ‘t in Slytherin, maybe he was. It’s not been specifically stated anywhere I can find, so I’m gonna stick with this. We need more good Slytherin representation.

#hogwarts #wizarding world #slytherin #harry potter #rubeus hagrid #tom riddle #controversial opinion

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matan4il · 3 years

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Buddie 505 meta

In an ep that’s all about Buck and Ravi getting to the point where they can work well together, what screams out to me is the parallels to Eddie’s introduction in 201. On the surface, the storylines are very similar: while Buck’s going through some personal stuff, he has issues with a teammate, but those get resolved by the end of the ep, with one key moment along the way when Buck, without appearing too happy about it, congratulates said teammate on their work. But the truth is these similarities actually emphasize the differences. For starters, remember how Buck insisted on finding Eddie a nickname? He tried “Diaz” as well as “G.I”. Interestingly, Buck says they have to find Eddie a nickname because everyone on the team had one. But he never called Eddie by the more generic “probie,” all of his attempts were more personalized, tailored specifically for Buck. It’s as if even during the time Buck thought he was rejecting Eddie, on some level he was already accepting him into the fold.

More than that, if Hen points out to Ravi in this ep that Buck wants to make sure he’s worthy, back in 201 Buck never seemed to doubt that Eddie was. That’s another reason why he never tried “probie” as a nickname for Eddie, it was clear it wouldn’t do. I wrote in my pre-season 3B meta that the real underlying reason for Buck’s immediate hostility towards Eddie was never that Eddie was awful, it was actually because Buck was overwhelmed by how awesome he thought this new guy was. Everything about the storyline with Ravi makes that even clearer.

But it doesn’t stop there either. When Ravi is hiding from Buck, Hen tells him this isn’t about what he’s doing wrong, it’s about Buck’s personal issues. I’ve always thought (and first mentioned in my 406 meta) that there was a good chance Eddie asked to hear more about Buck, since at the gym confrontation in 201 he knew Buck was going through a crisis, Abby leaving. We don’t know for sure, but the fact that we’re not shown a scene where this info about Buck is offered without Eddie asking for it (which is what happened in Ravi’s case, we’re clearly shown that Hen was the one to bring up Buck’s personal life), framing this info as more closely related to Eddie, and when he was also clearly trying to win Buck over at the beginning of the gym scene, that Eddie openly talked about this info with Buck while Ravi only discussed it in private with Hen, it makes it feel like from the start, Eddie had a level of interest in Buck that Ravi just doesn’t have. It’s the small difference between teammates and soulmates...

And of course, Buck is never truly hostile towards Ravi. He’s tough, but it’s because he feels responsible for him. He wants to help Ravi be better, make less mistakes. Buck told Eddie, “you’re meant to respect your elders,” but he never acted like he was an elder vis-a-vis Eddie, not like Buck did with Ravi. If anything, Buck was intimidated by how good Eddie was from the very first call they went on together. It’s what makes his “good job” admission to Eddie at the end of that call painful - it’s this moment where he has to entertain the possibility that he might be replaceable with the team. But the resolution to that storyline was that Eddie turned out every bit as good as he seemed and even better, he was the first person who saw Buck’s competence as a firefighter AND said that to his face, which clearly left Buck basically enamored with Eddie. In contrast, when Buck comes to the conclusion that Ravi is good enough to replace him, he decides they need to do it, that Buck has to ask for a transfer. Because in 201, the issue really was that he was intimidated by how amazing Eddie was and was scared of being replaced. Abby’s leaving might have made it harder to deal with, but it wasn’t the real cause. But in 505, the personal matter Buck struggles with IS the real reason why he was treating Ravi differently than before. The storyline even concludes with Ravi declaring his independence from Buck and that he’s content with it. That’s because this storyline was never about Ravi and his connection with Buck, not in the same way that 201 was about Eddie and the bond that was beginning to form between Buddie. But the 505 Ravi storyline does prove just how hard 911 decided to go when it introduced and integrated Eddie into Buck’s life.

Oh, and that Buddie connection is another aspect that is emphasized in this ep through contrast. Because from the moment Buck and Eddie had reached the resolution of their issues in 201, they’re never out of sync on the field. Actually, even before that, since Buck chose to go in with Eddie into the ambulance where a live grenade was awaiting them. Bobby even asked Buck if he was sure and he doubled down on his choice. In 505, he doesn’t choose to be paired up with Ravi. In fact, I find it interesting to see exactly how Bobby, who is the one to make the decision, declares the new pairings. He could have just said “Hen, you’re with Eddie, Ravi, you’ll team up with Buck.” But instead, he tells Buck that Eddie has to be paired up with Hen, so that leaves Ravi as Buck’s partner. It’s small, but the phrasing stresses that Bobby understands this will not be easy for Buck, to be separated from Eddie. It’s followed by showing us that both Buck and Eddie struggle with their new partners far more than we’ve ever seen either of them struggle with each other even before they struck up a friendship. In fact, in this ep, while Ravi’s rookie mistakes are essential to Buck’s storyline, Eddie constantly getting in Hen’s way (and a little on her nerves) isn’t essential to any plot, yet the show makes sure we witness that, too. Just to stress the point even more, we still get moments between Buddie in the field. The two of them exchange the kind of look spouses who know each other all too well do when Buck begrudgingly tells Ravi that he’s going to get the honors of breaking the door at the fitness mirror call, they do it again when the vic there exclaims that they’re pretty jacked (the guy is all of us, LBR), and then during the saw call, after Buck sends Ravi to throw up away from the vic, he himself kneels down and, again without even needing words, works together with Eddie seamlessly. Because they ARE battlefield boyfriends, alright? Always have been, always will be.

One of my fave recurring themes on this show is connected to that. It’s that we’re shown Buck and Eddie struggle on the job when the other one isn’t there. Eddie is the only one out of the 118 to voice his displeasure in ep 218 because Buck isn’t with them (even though the others have worked with Buck for longer), while Buck echoes the sentiment over Eddie’s absence in 414. In 505 he’s once more saying it’s weird at work. Without a doubt he’s talking about Chim’s absence, but the word “weird” itself threw me back to his choice of the same exact word in 414. So I do think that while the bigger issue is the guilt Buck feels over Chim’s departure, the fact that he was no longer being paired with Eddie added to that.

Which brought us to a scene with Taylor. Back in ep 408, she had told Buck (when she was hurt, angry and intent on getting back at him), that he’s needy and desperate for people to like him, meaning she knows these are sore spots for him. In this ep, despite not being angry or hurt, she said something very similar - that he’s making everything about himself. Ep 316 has shown us how much this idea hurts Buck, so I have to admit that I cringed. Especially when comparing this with Eddie’s words to Buck in 504, “you’re the guy who likes to fix things.” Eddie sets Buck straight, yes. But he does so while seeing the good in Buck and reflecting that back to him.

I guess that’s the thing we’re meant to see with Taylor here. In eps 501-4, she has been an absent gf (even when she was physically there). This is the first ep where she’s both present and focused on Buck. And she tries to be a good gf in this ep, that’s evident in the scene where she has bought him breakfast. Yet, throughout her scenes, she doesn’t quite get it right. First, there’s the fact that she did tell him something she knows would hurt him before he goes off to work, and it’s easy to tell that while her overall intention is to be reassuring, it doesn’t quite land. Then, there’s how Taylor tries to do something domestic for him, but everything about this screams that it’s not really her thing. She didn’t cook herself, which is itself isn’t that big of an issue, but she’s also dressed more like they’re about to go out for a night on the town, and add to this that she’s pouring an alcoholic beverage into a cup of orange juice for a firefighter who’s just come home early in the morning after a 24 hour shift, and it’s all just… it’s well meaning, but it IS off and ends up demonstrating that she knows how to celebrate and have fun more than how to be domestic and care for a partner. She does try, and Buck is clearly both surprised and touched by this. His surprise tells us that this is an unusual occurrence, and while he is touched, his reaction is also kinda subdued. His little “thank you” is cute, and he smiles, but it’s shot in profile and some shade, so we don’t really get its full effect. Compare that with the way he was absolutely beaming at Eddie in 504 and it was filmed from the front, in the open air and sunlight, so the shot was fully focused on Buck’s reaction. Then, after he updates Taylor on what he’s learned at work, he looks sad and she seems a bit upset as they hug. Presumably she’s reacting to his sadness, and Buck is feeling down because while things with the 118 have been resolved, Maddie and Chim are still away. But again, compare this to how at the end of the balcony scene, with Chim and Maddie being away AND while being physically hurt himself, Buck actually looks happier than in this hug scene with Taylor. On top of all that, Taylor’s absence up until this ep goes undiscussed, which in itself spells trouble for them in upcoming eps (just think for example about Ana being there for Eddie to help him crack the mystery of what’s wrong with Charlie in 413 while Eddie ignores the question of whether he’s following his heart when he’s with her). In 505, unlike the previous s5 eps, Taylor is actually making an effort. She’s trying to be a good gf, and yet she’s still not the person who can bring Buck comfort in times of distress.

Not like Eddie can, when even at that dramatic dinner table, where Buck was vulnerable and expressed his guilt through his tendency to self-sacrifice for his team, Eddie jokingly asked who’ll be replacing him, clearly doing so in order to make Buck laugh. The first sign of anyone breaking through to him. Then, add to this that Buck’s answer is Bobby will figure it out. Meaning that even when Buck is at his lowest point, concocting this scenario where everyone on the team can be replaced by someone else, including himself, he still couldn’t even throw a random name out there as a suggestion in response to that question. Eddie is irreplaceable to him.

And while we’re on the topic of that dinner, I just love every single thing Eddie does during the scene, every reaction, that question about himself which was clearly meant to tease Buck, the way Eddie reassures him that he’s stuck with the 118 (and how absolutely over the top content Eddie was over this fact… please, we all know he would never have let his baby daddy transfer away on his own) and of course, the part I just had to gif, the way he shakes his head in dismay when hearing Buck blaming himself for Chim leaving and the effect it had on the team. Of course the head shaking isn’t anything seemingly out of the ordinary, any friend could do that for Buck. Yet, we have a scene full of people who love Buck and care about him, who don’t want Buck to feel guilty or to leave, but it’s only Eddie that we see expressly shaking his head ‘no’ at Buck’s words. More than that, Eddie’s actually framed in the same shot with Buck as he speaks. That is not coincidental and it speaks volumes IMO. In an ep framed by Buck’s gf trying to be there for him, it’s Eddie who is still Buck’s person, the one who knows him best and can make things better.

~~~ Thank you so much to the beautiful @judsonryder for making my meta better with her incredible gifs! If you like my perspective on Buddie, you can find more of my meta and fics here. Thank you for reading and for any like, comment and of course reblog! I read every tag, every comment, they all matter so much! xoxox

#buddie #buddie meta #911 meta #911meta #9-1-1 #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #buddie gif #911gif #buddieedit #911 season 5 #wm #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

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lokiskitten · 3 years

Text

Loki Laufeyson | a little miracle

Loki Laufeyson x fem!reader

plot : After getting banned from Asgard, Loki found shelter in your home. You two easily grew closer as time passed, engaging in a long term relationship without you ever being able to carry his child due to the none-matching genetics. During Christmas Eve, you and the demigod stumble upon an abandoned baby on the steps of your porch.

warnings : mention of nudity and child abandon.

The 24th of December marked a rather cold and ruthless evening. The sun had set low hours ago, which allowed you and your long term love interest to spend a delightful night whilst having dinner nowhere far from the soothing sound and warmth which erupted from the working chimney. Even if he often criticized midgardian food, Loki had made an effort to worship your roasted chicken which in fact resembled what he used to eat every day whenever he still was allowed on the lands of Asgard. The man would often tell you about the nice adventures he had had the pleasure to experience, whilst also verbally exploring the many beauties that carried his homeland.

Of course, you never seemed to get tired of hearing his stories. His arrival in your life had offered you well needed company, especially as you lived far from the city; in a little country house within a low populated village. Besides, he was also the most interesting and intelligent man you ever got to meet. No matter how many bad actions you knew he had committed, your heart still managed to hold a special place for Loki within your chest. Often, you would reassure his anxiety by claiming that everyone deserves another chance. Long story short : you felt overly grateful that he was now here to keep you safe and sound.

After dinner, the two of you had moved to the couch before the chimney, easily getting rid of your clothes and engaging in a never ending cuddle- the type of snuggles that you liked the best : skin to skin. Feeling his warmth against yours made the fire from the chimney appear irrelevant, and the sweet caresses he offered your sensitive body felt better than any silk sheets anyone could ever dream to possess. These kind of moments were never about sex, but always about sharing a special and dedicated contact with the man you had fallen in love with. Surely the two of you often allowed yourselves to spend some sexually pleasurable time together, but those kind of cuddles overcame any of these private intercourses.

His lips collided against yours in a smooth manner, both of your respective eyelids remaining closed as his naked body rested between your legs. You never grew tired of those motions, your organism constantly begging for more and reacting to any touch coming from your partner. His hips rocked against yours just so slightly, the dry humping being part of the overall loving mannerisms. And right now, it was enough to satisfy you. However, an unwelcome detail managed to flash itself back into your mind, pulling you out of the romantic moment you were attempting to spend with Loki. Opening your eyes, you allowed your palms to rest against his shoulders in order to stop him through his motions.

“I forgot to turn off the candle on the porch..” you murmured, earning a tired groan coming from the large man. “I won’t be long.” You affirmed after you had laid a loving kiss on his cheek, watching as the demigod sat up in order to allow you to shift off the couch. Your hand reached out for your sweater and panties, putting both of those pieces of clothing back on before lazily making your way until the front door. Scratching the back of your neck, you finally pushed open the door of your house before taking a step forward in order to be able to put your hand on the candle. However, your foot stumbled upon a foreign mass, easily leading you to step back out of surprise as unhappy cries began to escape the layers of dirty drapes.

Your hand landed against your chest, orbs starring down at the scary sight that you wish wasn’t what you thought it was. However, it undeniably was and remained an abandoned baby resting on your porch. Your first reflex was to seek for any silhouette lurking within the darkness of the snowy night, eyes squinting as you attempted to distinguish the potential parents of this child. “Hello?!” Fear echoed in your voice, though you soon gave up on trying to figure out who had left this child here as you couldn’t tell for how long this poor baby had been laying on your doorstep- which allowed you to jump to the conclusion that those gruesome individuals were probably gone and far by now.

You looked back down at the newborn who now only allowed a few tired whimpers to escape their lips, body crouching down so that your hands would be able to remove the layer of sheet which covered their face. Upon being revealed to the light, a new whine echoed throughout your ears, your empathetic self feeling sorrow invade your organism. You picked up the baby with a lot of care, face still diverted towards their grimacing one right before Loki finally made an apparition behind your silhouette. “What’s taking your so long-“ he began to ask, the smile on his face fading away as soon as you turned around and revealed the child to his bare eyes.

“Where did you find this?” He asked on a tensed tone, visibly not appearing too happy about seeing you carry a foreign toddler. “I found it on our porch. Someone must’ve left him there...” you admitted on a sorrowful tone, looking down at the little piece of sunshine who clearly didn’t deserve to be in the situation they were in. Your empathetic self couldn’t even believe that people still did those kind of things nowadays. It disgusted you to even think of it. “Put it back.” Loki demanded, earning a confused yet absolutely irritated stare coming from you. “Are you mental? I told you I found it right here. Who am I supposed to return this child to?” You answered sadly, feeling more than shocked by your partner’s inappropriate and rude behavior.

Loki looked down at the baby’s face, earning a few gasps from the newborn who kept their eyes closed. No form of care nor empathy seemed to show on the grown man’s face- which once again was a detail that left you speechless. “We can’t leave it there. Poor thing would freeze to death.” You affirmed whilst gently rocking the baby in order to make sure it would stay calm and sleepy. Loki remained silent for a couple of seconds, his mind probably trying to find a good response to your previous statement. “What if.. what if we kept it?” You suddenly offered, looking up at your lover who simply scoffed as a response. “Keep it? This isn’t a fairytail. You can’t just keep a child like this.” Loki answered harshly. Currently, if both of your arms haven’t been required to carry the toddler, the demigod would’ve probably earned a slap across his face.

“You’ll bring him to the authorities tomorrow. Now let’s get inside.” Loki ordered, turning back around as he began to take a few steps forward in order to join the warmth of the house. However, you stopped in front of the doorstep. “Why are you acting like this? This isn’t like you.” You accused sadly, your arms still patiently rocking the child. The truth was, this situation simply reminded Loki of his own past- how Odin had found him abandoned on a rock on Jotunheim. He had suffered due to his new environment mixing up with who he truly was, and didn’t wish to put anyone through the same bother he once had to go through. “Everyone deserves a chance.” You suddenly affirmed, causing the demigod to stop through his track. This statement struck him right through his heart.

Your eyes anxiously stared at his back, waiting for an answer coming from your partner who had decided to behave so harshly. Loki finally ended up turning around, green eyes making contact with yours as he slowly began to make his way back to you. Face to his silence, your anxious self couldn’t help but add a few decisive words. “It’s the child we’ve always wanted. It’s a.. miracle.” You affirmed sadly, feeling tears fill up your orbs at the thought of finally being able to look after a child of your own. Of course, Loki knew how much this topic meant to you, and that even if he had never planned to have children of his own before stumbling upon you and your desires. But in that child, he couldn’t help but see himself.

Patiently, the demigod accepted to take a new look down at the baby who now had their eyes open, a gentle whimper escaping their lips upon making eye contact with the adult male. Loki took the initiative to take the toddler out of your arms, carrying it in his own limbs without ever speaking a word as he made his way towards the chimney. The demigod had began to gently rock the toddler, looking down at them and allowing the baby to toy with his long strands of black locks whilst he patiently sang to them in that beautiful Asgardian language of his. He kept a low tone, making sure not to scare the baby without ever breaking the eye contact he had engaged with the toddler.

Leaning against the entrance of the living room, you finally allowed yourself to smile out of relief face to this soothing sight. This was everything you’ve ever wanted : seeing Loki carry a child, and that even if it wasn’t necessarily yours. No matter where this baby came from, this house would now become his home.

AHHH thank you so much for 1000 followers!!!!! I couldn’t feel more grateful. For the occasion, I had to write something for you guys. It’s different from what y’all probably have the habit to read, but I hope it was enjoyable to read still! Love you and take care!!! Special tag for @seasexnsun who turned out to be my 1000th follower!

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Not a Good Idea

Jack Kline x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2084 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Jack asks out the reader thinking he's joking with her and she goes to hide but he follows easily?

For @lilacprincessofrecovery, I hope you like it darling

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Jack had always had a crush on you, now that he understood what that meant.

He felt connected to you, and even though he didn’t know a ton of other people, he knew enough. He knew that no one was ever going to make him feel like you did, which was why he decided to ask you out on a date in the first place.

That was what you did when you liked someone, he’d seen Dean do it a million times before.

It seemed to work out for him just fine, because he was always in the company of women. You were a woman, and he didn’t see a reason he couldn’t do the same thing with you.

Granted, he hadn’t exactly worked out all the details yet but he figured you would help him.

You always did.

All he had to do was ask you and the rest would fall into place.

At least, in theory that was how it was supposed to work. After all, as soon as he had suggested that the two of you go out for a romantic evening as Dean so often did, you weren’t nearly as receptive to the idea as he imagined you would be.

In fact, you almost seemed upset by what he was suggesting.

He’d never seen you so upset before.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you hummed, barely looking up from your laptop as you spoke, your eyes still locked on the screen. Had Jack not been so fine tuned to your every move, he may have missed the slight tensing in your jaw.

He had definitely upset you, but what he didn’t understand was how.

In all those times Dean had asked a girl to have dinner with him, or get some coffee in the morning, she had never reacted like you were now.

In fact, you hardly ever acted like that at all.

You were always very attentive to Jack when he talked to you, eager to help him navigate the world around him or help him understand something he couldn’t quite wrap his head around.

It wasn’t like you to be so cold, but you couldn’t help it.

What he was asking, it was too much.

“What do you mean, not a good idea? Did I say something wrong?” he asked, concerned that he had unknowingly done something to offend you.

It all seemed pretty straight forward but it wouldn’t have surprised Jack if he’d somehow misread the situation or said something he shouldn’t have. He was pretty new to this whole thing after all.

It wasn’t like someone had gone out of their way to teach him how to talk to a girl he liked, he was just making it up as he went.

“No, it’s just not a good idea” you repeated, unsure of what to say to get him to drop this whole thing.

Nothing was going to make him realize how humiliating this was for you.

It just wasn’t fair.

You couldn’t imagine Jack would do something like that to be cruel to you, or push buttons that he shouldn’t but you couldn’t help but be upset by it.

It was just too much.

Jack hardly even realized what it was he was asking, and you just had a bad feeling about it. You knew that he was trying to be sweet, trying to do what he thought he should, but it wasn’t like he actually understood any of this.

You were basically the only girl he knew, like, at all.

Of course he had come to the conclusion that he wanted to have something with you because he’d seen this before. He constantly saw Dean trying to woo beautiful women and all that, but he wasn’t Dean, and you certainly weren’t like those women in the bar.

He didn’t know enough about this to even know what he wanted.

He didn’t know enough to know why you weren’t what he wanted, and the last thing you wanted was to wait around, caring about him, until he realized that.

You would only get your heart broken.

There was silence between the two of you for a moment as Jack desperately tried to understand what could have possibly gone so wrong in these few moments since he approached and it was only overwhelming you more.

You felt like you were ruining everything, like by saying no you were going to upset Jack and he wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore but he didn;t know what you did.

He didn’t understand that you were only trying to help him in the long run.

“I, I have to go” you decided, gathering the few files Sam had given you to look over as you went. It would be better to just get out of this situation as quickly as you could, especially since Jack clearly wasn’t going anywhere.

Maybe later you could have Dean explain just why this was such a bad idea. It would be much simpler than having to go through telling him yourself.

It was bad enough you were having this conversation in the first place.

You hoped that you would just be able to go, though, maybe you should have known better than to think that. As soon as you rounded the corner to your room, you came face to face with him again.

It was too much.

“What are you doing?” you gasped, cursing yourself for forgetting about what he was. It was lost on you too often that Jack wasn’t human and he could do things like teleport around and scare the shit out of you.

You thought you had been pretty clear about the fact that you wanted to be alone, but like Jack was known to do, he didn’t get the message.

Instead, he found himself more worried about upsetting you than anything else, including your own wants.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was supposed to come with you” he shrugged, once again struck with the fact he had done something wrong. This was really hard for him, and he was just trying to get it right.

It seemed like everything he was doing lately was wrong, no matter how hard he tried to get it right.

...and now he’d upset you, his only friend in the world.

“No, I told-'' you started, but stopped as soon as you saw the look on his face change from concern to complete and utter confusion. Just when he thought he understood, he went and did something bad.

It was getting frustrating.

“It’s okay, I just don’t think you understand what you’re asking” you allowed, deciding that if he wasn't going to just take your no for an answer, you were going to have to shed some light on the subject.

Just like Jack wasn’t a regular guy in any other sense, he wasn’t a regular guy in this either. He wasn’t being a creep or yanking your chain just to get a rise out of you.

If he had asked for a date, that was because he wanted one.

It wasn’t his fault he didn’t quite get why it wouldn’t ever work.

“Would you tell me? Please?” Jack hummed, confused as to why this was upsetting you so much. It wasn’t underhanded or accusatory like you had come to expect from other men.

It was real.

Jack was really just confused and that made this conversation that much harder.

“You don’t want to go out with me Jack, I don’t look anything like those girls Dean goes out with, do I?” you reasoned, hoping somehow he would get the point.

What you were saying made all the sense in the world to you, but not to Jack. He didn’t see what the big deal was, or why that mattered but clearly, you did.

There was this look in your eyes that he’d never seen before.

“This? Do the women Dean dates have this?” you asked, your voice little more than a whisper now as you grabbed at the fat around your middle with your fingers, as if proving your point.

To you, that skin was your biggest shame and more than enough reason for him not to care about you at all but Jack, being the metaphysical being he was, didn’t see a single flaw in you.

To him, every person was exactly how they needed to be and you were no exception to that.

You were perfect.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never looked at them too closely” he admitted, sitting down beside you on your bed, where you had decided to stay. It was far easier than standing there, having him look at you like that.

This whole thing was ridiculous.

It would have been much easier if he just accepted your no in the first place, but maybe that was the hardest part. Deep down, you didn’t want him to accept your no, or to know just how much you hated your own body.

There was nothing more embarrassing, but again, you had to remember who it was you were talking to.

Jack really didn’t have anything to gain by making you feel like a terrible person, and he didn't have a problem with how you looked. The only trouble would be making sure you understood that.

He didn’t see anything wrong with you, not at all.

“This is why you’re upset?” he clarified, Jack knew well enough to know that just because he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal, it was obviously affecting you quite a bit.

That meant it had to be important to him too.

“Yes Jack, you deserve a girl like the one’s Dean cares so much about. You can’t go out with me just because I’m the only girl you know” you tried, hoping that this would prove it to him.

There were plenty of other girls out there, girls far prettier than you, but even hearing that, Jack wasn’t swayed in the least.

He understood that you were different than they were, he was just lost on how they were somehow better.

They didn’t help him keep track of things that sometimes slipped his mind or read to him when he was too preoccupied to remember that he had to sleep every once and a while.

They didn’t pay attention to him or care about him, not like you did.

Besides, you were his best friend, his only friend. If there was anyone alive he was going to be in love with, or take on a date, it was you. There was no one in the world as important to him as you.

“But you’re my favorite girl, doesn’t that mean something too?” he tried, still genuinely confused if he had a point or not. He thought that he did but you seemed so sure that you were right.

He didn’t know what to believe.

“How can I be your favorite when I’m the only one you know?” you asked, a small laugh leaving your throat before you could stop it, thinking about how silly this whole thing was.

All Jack wanted to do was have dinner with you, or something like that, and you had turned it into something else completely.

He was trying to prove a point he didn’t even understand just because he cared about you, and that was sweet. Besides, it was nice to hear that you were his favorite girl, even if the roster was short.

You did like Jack, of course you did, you just didn’t want him to make a decision without knowing everything.

Right now, he didn’t know everything.

“Because even if I knew every girl on the planet, you would still be my favorite” he shrugged, leaving you just as speechless as you had been at the very start of this.

You wanted to talk to him, wanted to say anything, but it wouldn’t make any difference. There was nothing you could say that was going to make a difference, you wanted to go out with him.

More than anything.

“I’ll go on a date with you, if you’re sure it's what you want” you decided, looking into his blue eyes and finding it impossible to not do exactly that. You liked him and nothing was going to change that.

If he wanted to go on a date, a real date like normal people did, there was no sense in arguing with him.

“I would really like that”

#jack kline #supernatural #spn #jack kline x reader #jack kline x ps reader #jack kline x plus size reader #jack kline imagine #supernatural x reader #supernatural x ps reader #supernatural x plus size reader #spn x reader #spn x ps reader #spn x plus size reader #spn imagine

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serpenteve · 3 years

Text

what did alina starkov want, anyway?

People have been arguing for ages about the ending of Ruin & Rising. One faction says Alina losing her powers was misogynistic and needlessly cruel while the other says the ending is fitting because Alina always wanted to live an ordinary life with Mal.

I would argue the problem lies with Alina's mess of a character arc.

For the majority of S&B and the first half of S&S, Alina is a very passive character who wants nothing more than to run away with Mal. Though they changed it in the show, it was originally Mal who wanted to go after the stag and who wanted Alina to have the stag's amplifier because he thought it would give them a fighting chance against the Darkling. In S&S, Alina is terrified of taking a second amplifier because it goes against all the Grisha theory she knows, echoing the arc words of the trilogy: What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men.

It is only when Alina takes the second amplifier that she's allowed to grow a backbone. This is truly a bizarre writing choice because it all but forces the narrative to frame every active step Alina takes to forward the plot and her own character arc---whether that's deciding to rebuild the Second Army, or form a political alliance with Nikolai, or search for the third amplifier, or simply stand up for herself against bullies---as being manifestations of her creeping villainy.

Meanwhile, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there is her Muggle boyfriend who is there to remind us that this is not who she is, that Morozova's amplifiers are corrupting her, that he wants her to go back to the girl she was when she was more passive, vulnerable, and dependent on him.

Surely, there is a line between the heroine learning to trust herself and gaining confidence in her abilities versus the heroine giving in to corruption and becoming more power-hungry and evil? However, the narrative does not distinguish between these two very different arcs. Consequently, the reader is left in a bizarre place where we cannot watch Alina's character arc grow from passivity to maturity without being reminded of how ~evil~ she is becoming, despite there being very little textual evidence to back this up. We also grow to resent Mal because instead of him being a supportive boyfriend who is trying to help Alina navigate her own character arc, he is holding her back from her potential---not just in her powers but also in her personal autonomy.

At the same time, there are sprinklings of Alina's call to her dark side through the Darkling's offer of a throne. Ignoring how sincere his words may or may not be, Alina still feels tempted to join him and frequently thinks about the truth of his words---that she is no ordinary Grisha, that is useless to fight what she is, that she is capable of more than an ordinary mortal life, that he is the only one who can understand the eternity before her. Because readers expect to see a character arc where Alina grows from a scared passive girl to a strong independent woman, we grow to associate her longing for power as a natural evolution of her character development. However, the narrative wants you to believe Alina's development is not a natural progression of her character but rather a corruption due to her greed from the influence of Morozova's amplifiers.

Bardugo completely fails to set up an alternate character arc for Alina where she may grow in power and strength as a character, but does not become evil along the way. Her heroine's arc is completely strangled by the moral panic of the narrative. This is doubly emphasized by the plot: in order for Alina to defeat the Darkling, she must seek out the amplifiers out of necessity. This is framed as greed. In order for Alina to triumph, she must use all three amplifiers, but when she does, she is punished by the plot. But what other choice did the heroine have? It is not like there was some non-evil alternative for Alina to embrace and she deliberately chose the path of most greed. She is not punished for her actions like her male counterparts who seek power. In fact, you could argue, she can't be punished for her actions because her actions are not coming from a place of choice.

At the end of R&R, Alina is stripped of her powers and lives an ordinary life with Mal. As this is the epilogue, one must assume Bardugo meant for Alina's character arc to end in this way. Her character arc is meant to be a cautionary tale against the evils of seeking too much power. This moral aesop falls flat for a number of reasons:

"Power corrupts" is a popular moral message that it's gotten fairly cliche at this point

It's also so heavy-handed, I don't blame readers for expecting it to be subverted because of how much we were hit over the head with it

The strangely gendered way this moral lesson is delivered raises some eyebrows. Are male characters who are actually power-hungry such as Nikolai, the Apparat, and the Darkling not subject to the same punishments the narrative deals out to Alina?

Most importantly, this aesop clashes with Alina's character

In order for this greed corruption arc to make sense, the heroine really should have been an entirely different character who starts off the series with ambition and a need for power. We needed a heroine like Jude Duarte, Kestrel Trajan, or Aelin Galathynius. Someone who is already established as being capable, ambitious, and ruthless. Granted, I still think this would be a shit character arc because of the long history in which female power is demonized, but at least the arc would make sense for the character in the tradition of tragedies.

However, because Alina starts off the series as being insecure and not yet accepting of herself, we expect to see a character arc where she becomes more confident, emotionally mature, and maybe even a little ruthless. We don't expect her to suddenly become corrupted by greed (a character trait she never had to begin with, especially when she would rather run away and hide with Mal than deal with a geopolitical situation) and get punished for being "too ambitious".

To add to this confusing mess of an arc, Alina suppressing her powers leads to her being weak, fatigued, and malnourished. So she must use her powers in order to be healthy, but using her powers is what directly contributes to the rest of her character arc. The heroine cannot win.

In conclusion, Bardugo wrote a book where a naive scared girl gets manipulated into wearing an evil MacGuffin that turns her "greedy" and then gets punished for it, even though the plot offered her no alternative. Alina never wanted power but because a positive character arc meant a complete descent into villainy, we are left with a regressed version of the character by the end of R&R and a whole bunch of readers left scratching their heads about what the hell we are supposed to take away from this mess of a story.

TL;DR: Alina's character arc does not match who she is as a character. She was given an arc that is usually reserved for anti-heroines and tragic heroes with fatal flaws.

#alina starkov #leigh bardugo #ruin and rising #grisha discourse #anti leigh bardugo #darklina #long post #tgt spoilers #the grisha trilogy #why leigh why #viv metas

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princessofprocrastination · 3 years

Text

The Waiting Game (Karl Jacobs)

MASTERLIST

summary : he tells you to wait, to be patient, which you follow, but until when can you wait while you watch him flirt with other girls on the internet?

it was simple really. you were just meant to wait. wait for him to be ready, as he called it.

your friends would tell you that the only thing you’re waiting for is for him to choose you when no one else wants him, as a rebound. they tell you that you’re waiting for the day he stop trying to attract the attention of other women instead of you.

they tell you that this won’t end, the waiting. they tell you that this was just his way of keeping you around.

but you don’t believe them. and it’s simple why you didn’t. you love him. and love doesn’t budge. love makes people blind.

so when he told you to wait, you did. because you loved him, you really did.

at first, you two were friends. actually not even. you two simply knew each other’s names, no more than that.

and then as you two progressed from knowing each other’s names to playing among us together with corpse, it was smooth sailing from there.

you and corpse are close. you even know what he looks like, being this close for years now. and as usual like the protective boy best friend, when he found out that there was something more than just friends between you and karl, he made sure karl knew to not hurt you, or else.

and it sure did shaken karl up, but that didn’t last long. the dating didn’t last long. it was a short time of bliss you wished you could feel again. but that’s not how time works. it moves forward.

months after months of what seemed to be dilly dally and wondering what each other’s feelings were, you confronted him. you told him that you thought it was time for your relationship to progress, that it was time to move forward together.

and you thought he was feeling the same about that, you really did, that was the only reason why you felt confident enough to confront him, unlike other times.

but it was different. it wasn’t what you expected. his answer wasn’t what you expected.

he told you he wasn’t ready. he told you he needed time before you two could be more than what you were at that moment. you didn’t even know what you were at that point.

but it made more sense when time went by. he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, but he was too scared to tell you.

“i’m just not ready to take the next step.” he told you. and you’d nod your head and tell him not to worry about it.

“wait for me.” he’d tell you. and you reassured him tha t you would. and you did just that. you waited.

one month go by, three, seven, ten months then. nothing. your relationship was stagnant.

corpse would check in with you all the time, made sure you were healthy and that you were happy. and at first, you were. you told him everything. that karl wasn’t ready but you were willing to wait.

and he praised you for being so patient, for waiting. but, he didn’t think you’d be waiting for over a year.

sure, he did think it’d be more than six months, given that karl is busy with mr beast videos and his own. but he didn’t think it would be this long.

but corpse never did say anything about it, not to karl, not to you. he would just listen every time you talked about it. he was happy that he could be there for you. but it broke his heart to see you like that.

before anyone says the opposite, you and corpse have a strictly platonic relationship. you two were platonic soulmates, as people would say. and the both of you enjoyed the term. you thought it was adorable.

furthermore, it made you and corpse happy that people weren’t doing unnecessary shipping between the two of you.

back to the topic, corpse is a quiet man. he stays quiet, but he observes everyone’s moves. he can understand someone’s behaviour without knowing them for long.

so when it came the time rae made an among us room, including him, karl and you, he wanted to observe karl’s behaviour.

there were tiktokers on that server, to which was the icing on top of a cake for corpse, since he didn’t really fancy those ditzy people who made content on tiktok.

you knew how much he disliked some people and made sure that he didn’t say things he doesn’t want the world to know, even though he feels like snapping. you were there to intervene when things went south.

but something corpse noticed was that karl wasn’t really talking to you. aside from the greetings at the start of rae’s stream, you two didn’t talk very much. instead, he talked to the tiktoker, mostly the girls.

this confused corpse. he needed to know if you were hiding something from him. something that you didn’t tell him. had karl and you decide to be just friends or was he not seeing something right here?

as both you and corpse are dead with nothing to do, corpse texts you, after sending you back a 8 ball game.

are you not telling me something? he sent the message.

? you sent back. you didn’t understand what he meant by that.

he’s clearly flirting. he sends again.

no he’s not. you send back.

don’t lie to yourself. you two have barely spoke today. corpse sends one last text before the game restarts.

i don’t know what’s going on. you sent back, deciding to be truthful to him. there’s no point in lying to your best friend.

corpse sighs. he was scared of this. two of his best friends being stuck.

but he knew what this was. you were stuck in the friendzone. stuck waiting. that was the truth he was scared of telling you. but you deserved that much, right?

you and corpse logged off your computers, now facetiming each other about what had happened.

“i’m stuck waiting forever, aren’t i?” you asked, even though you knew the answer. you needed someone to be truthful to you and tell it to your face.

corpse sighs, nodding his head to your not so question, question.

“you know, i saw the tweets.” you spoke up after a while.

“i saw him flirting with any girl he found an opportunity to flirt with.” you told him.

corpse gave you a sympathetic smile. he saw them too, he just didn’t know how to talk about it.

“i’m not stupid, i can still see things clearly.” you said again.

“i know you’re not.” corpse says. you sigh, putting your head in your arms as you tucked your legs, knees to your chest.

“you’ve waited this long, what happens next?” corpse asks, genuinely curious.

“we move on.” you told him. there you were. the fire spirited girl he knew for years. he knew no amount of water could put out the fire you had in your heart.

he envied you. sure, you can be extremely naive at times, but when you weren’t, you listened to your heart, you let the spirit in you to guide you to make the right decision, to go through the right path.

and now, the spirit in you was telling you to move on, to not keep waiting, that waiting could do more harm than good.

karl was confused at first. usually, you’d text him, check in with him, make sure he’s okay. in the first couple days, he felt relieved that you weren’t butting into his life anymore.

but then he felt like something was missing after a week, two weeks, months. he didn’t feel relieved anymore. well, not after seeing you with someone else.

okay, maybe not someone else, dating wise, but close.

you were getting close with sapnap, a fellow friend of karls. a fiance, even. it struck everyone that something was wrong, with you and karl not been interacting like usual, and now that you were close with nick, someone close to him.

sure, there are theories, but no one ever came to a conclusion. they just thought you two had a falling apart, like people normally have. and even though people who shipped you two hard was upset, they had to accept it.

but no, that wasn’t what hurt karl. it wasn’t that even his followers could see that you two aren’t talking. but it was the fact that people seem to like the fact that you and his nick were getting close.

but he knew he had no right to be mad, to be angry. it was meant to be that way. with the way he was treating you, he knew it was bound to happen.

he shouldn’t have neglected you in the first place.

he failed to see how amazing of a person you were to him, you were always so patient. you were always so calm, never angry with him, never snapped at him for no reason.

not like his exes. and yet he felt the need to push you away.

he couldn’t even make up an excuse for what he did. he can’t even lie his way out of a confrontation from corpse.

and all this guilt, all this acceptance that he was the one being a shitty person, yet he still had the nerve to be angry.

heard you been talking to someone. karl texts his ‘fiance’

who and where have you been hearing this? nick texts back.

y/n, and the internet. they’re going nuts. karl texted, going straight to the point.

well, yeah. she’s amazing. but we’re not of anything, just talking. nick texts, now serious.

be careful. karl sends another text.

?? nick sends.

she’s using you. like she did to me. karl types, and sends.

and no response back. the type bubbles came up once in a while, but died down, no text came through after.

what did she do to you? nick finally answers his text after two days. he clearly was thinking about it.

made me buy her stuff, send her merch. karl texted his friend back.

i did everything for her. and then she was just gone, never texted me back. karl continues.

why didn’t you tell me sooner? nick asks.

didn’t know you two were talking. karl finishes, going off messages,off to the kitchen, to go make dinner for himself.

nick was exasperated. he didn’t know how such an innocent, caring woman like you do that to him. how could he have not seen the signs?

you never told him to do anything for you. instead, you always rejected any offers he made.

is it because it’s too soon for you to ask him anything? did you only become close to him only to con him and hurt him in the end?

he needed to believe his friend. you were no one to him for him to believe you, but he had been friends with karl for a while.

but he needed to confront you. he hurt his friend and he won’t let you hurt him like you did to karl.

call me, it’s urgent. was the text he sent to you.

he’s never this serious, not even when he’s joking. and you knew him well enough to understand his behaviour, even when it’s just a simple text.

but you did what he told you to do, called him. actually, you facetimed him, to make sure that you weren’t just being paranoid.

“hi, we haven’t spoken in a while.” you said, tone cheery. you were genuinely excited to finally talk to him again, and not just text.

“shut up.” he snapped, face hidden in his hands as he covered it, not in the right state of mind.

your cheery look vanished from your face, at that point, you were just confused. had you done something? was this just a result of him having a bad day?

“what was your intention with me?” he said, but sounded more like a snarl.

“w-what?” you stuttered, shocked at the tone he gave you. he has never not smiled at you, let alone risen his voice at you.

“what you did to karl, were you going to do the same to me?” he squeaked out, almost crying.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about, nick.” you tried.

“DON’T SAY MY NAME.” nick screamed, to which you jumped in your seat, almost knocking off a candle on your side table.

“just tell me. when were you going to make me do what you told him to do?” he said, now more quietly.

“what did i do?” you asked, now tears brimming your eyes.

“you used him, used his money. and you’re just waiting for the time to use me too.” he spat it out.

“what? why would i do that?” you asked.

“because you are one good manipulator.” he said.

“look, just because karl was syupid enough to listen to you, doesn’t mean i am. i’m thanking god he told me before you used me too.” he finished, before hanging up.

you were more than confused. sad, enraged? you felt manipulated yourself. you have never told anyone to do anything for you, especially not karl. not when he was the one who neglected you.

you didn’t feel used by him, no. you felt dirty, wronged that you waited that long, waiting for him to finally give you your deserved attention. and even after more than a year, he didn’t give you it.

so why did he tell nick you used him? you didn’t think you were doing anything wrong, at least in your perspective.

the more you thought about it, the more tears rolled down your cheek.

“did i do something. i need it from a perspective of someone else.” you asked corpse during a facetime as you wailed silently.

“no, you didn’t. you waited like a doll. you never went against what he told you to do. don’t blame yourself.” he told you.

“so why did he tell him i was using him?” you cried out.

“i really like him, corpse. i really do. i lost the chance now.” you said, exhausted from the crying all day.

“i know you do. now, calm down before you become dehydrated.” he tells you.

you just didn’t understand why karl would tell him such a thing. he didn’t want you then, he wouldn’t want you now. this wasn’t an act of jealousy. it couldn’t be.

but you wanted to find out.

it took you a while to calm down. you cried to sleep, cried when you woke up, cried when you were eating lunch. you really were on the verge of being dehydrated.

but you stopped yourself. you caught yourself before you slipped down that spiral again.

three months. that was how long it took you to finally stream again, to post on instagram again.

and now, people were just even more confused. they made up stories about you. they thought there must be something wrong about you if you had two boys distant from you.

so they talked bad about you. made up some absurd stories that other people believed.

corpse was always there for you, though. he told them that they’re being stupid, that they believe everything that’s thrown to them on the internet.

but the news never did die down.

and at some point, you were over it.

in between the three months, you made sure you resolved this.

you texted nick every single day from the day he hung up on you. called him whenever you could. until he blocked you. you didn’t even think he read the messages, or opened your voicemails.

so you did what you would do on impulse. rage. well, not really. you don’t have a temper, you never did. but you acted on impulse.

you met him. you met karl. or shall you say, you showed up on his doorstep, while he was forced to hear what you had to say, what you had to do.

“you came?” karl asked. opening his door to see you was not what he had expected.

you came close to him. you almost saw him grin. you knew exactly what he thought about, and you weren’t going to satisfy him.

you slapped him. hard across the face. hard enough his face was shoved to the side, as stumbled, balance gone. he obviously didn’t see that coming.

“i waited and waited. waited like a scared little puppy.” you snarled through your teeth.

“but you neglected me. you didn’t see me as your girlfriend, or a potential one. you saw me as a potential rebound. someone to still be there for you, to accept you after you got rejected from the girls you actually wanted.” you said in one breath.

“and when i went away for a while, you missed me. not at first. you were relieved i was gone, and then you missed me. and then you heard i was talking to nick.” you cried out, now tears going down your face.

you stopped to catch your breath, staring at him. or more like glaring at him, waiting for him to confess he did something. but he stared at you, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“you took away a whole year of my time, my undivided attention, my heart. you took so much away from me and now you’re selfish enough to take away someone i actually like for once?” you asked.

“just because your life is miserable, doesn’t mean you can make mine miserable too” you finished saying. you glared at him once more before leaving his place, to get back home.

in your journey home, corpse called you. he was doing what he always did, to check up on you. you told him everything, the slap, you told him every single word you told karl.

it felt good for a while, to get it all out. but your heart, there was still a hole in it. and there was only one thing in the world to fill that. and you don’t think it’s possible to obtain.

when you came back after three months, karl and nick remained quiet. they didn’t say anything.

and even though you came back, it didn’t mean you were healthy. you looked sickly, not having much sleep in the night. not much to eat either, hence the weight loss over the months.

and people did notice this, it was hard to miss.

but you tried to cover it up, with the large smiles and loud laughter. you did your best to distract people to ask you the question.

to ask if you’re doing okay.

the truth is, you’re not okay. your eyes felt heavy all the time, you lungs hurt like hell and you always felt exhausted, yet you couldn’t sleep.

and you knew people noticed, you knew corpse noticed. he just didn’t want to push you. he was being cautious around you. he didn’t want you to break more than you already were.

karl, on the other hand, he felt stressed out. the moment you left his house, all he could think about was you. and this time, he hadn’t mean that in the crush or love type of way. not anymore, at least.

now, all he can think about was how stupid he was acting. he had no reason to lash out like that, especially when you had done nothing wrong to him.

he had no right to be mad at you, let alone say it all to someone you truly liked. he remembered how devastated nick was when he told him all those lies.

he needed to find a way to end this. he needed to redeem himself. he needed to make it up to you, make it up to nick. he didn’t want to

i lied. karl texted nick.

immediately, he got a call from him. karl wasn’t ready for that, he didn’t expect him to be awake at this moment.

“what do you mean?” nick asked. he didn’t think about the text seriously, just some minor thing karl may have said during the lore or something.

“she didn’t use me.” karl answers.

silence. karl could see nick’s expression change from a not tense cheery face to a tense confusion one. karl felt concious of the bile in his throat now.

“i made the story up. i didn’t want her to end up with you.” he continues.

“what?” nick, now more confused.

“i had no right, i know. but after a couple months, i realised she wasn’t waiting on me anymore, and i hated that, i’m sorry.” karl said.

“she came by my house, slapped me and put me in my place. i know i have no right, nick, i’m sorry.” he finishes, waiting for nick to say something.

“i really liked her, karl. why did you have to ruin that for me? she was one of a kind.” nick cried.

“she really likes you, she told me. i hope you two make things right.” karl begged.

“have you seen her dude, she looks miserable. you did that to her, i did that to her.” nick shouted, his tears never ending.

“you didn’t, i did. and i am so sorry i did that. i didn’t mean it to go this far.” karl said.

“this far? she looks exhausted, starving. she looks sick, karl. why the fuck would you do that to someone like her?” nick asked, now more exasperated.

“i’m sorry, i really am sorry, nick.” karl starts to cry.

“apologise to her, you fucking idiot. you ruined the one thing that was going right for me.” nick said before he hung up on karl.

karl was devastated. he lost a friend, and last year, he had lost you. but you didn’t matter to him as much anymore, he wanted to see you with his friend.

karl cared a lot about nick and he only wants what’s best for him. and if that means giving up on you, he’d do it.

he didn’t know where he was going with hurting the both of you, anyways. it wasn’t like you were going to crawl to him when nick didn’t want you anymore.

god, was he stupid.

life was going well for you. well, if you could even say that. you lost a lot of weight, your eyes looked like death. but all is well, since you were still doing the things you love, making content.

you were playing another round of among us, one of the last rounds of the day, having been played for almost three hours now.

“damn, you are one good imposter.” toast commented, corpse agreeing.

“learnt from the best.” you said, giving your webcam a wink before grinning and looking back onto your pc.

“and who is that?” corpse says, teasingly, almost as if he was waiting for you to say him.

“not you, that’s for sure.” you laughed as you said that.

“brutal.” poki chimed.

“it’s obviously me.” sykkuno tried.

“nope, definitely me.” valkyrae added, arguing with them. you sat back on your chair, relaxing into it as you laughed at their petty arguments, trying to one up each other.

“bro, twitter is crazy right now.” ludwig came out to say.

when you heard that, your curiosity got the best of you. you went on twitter on your phone as you tried to multitask with reading your twitch chat, seeing if they knew anything about it.

the whole world could then see how surprised you were to see your name trending first in america. you gave the camera a scared and concerned look before clicking on your name.

you thought you had done something wrong, that it was your time to get cancelled. but you were wrong, so wrong.

karl tweeted something about you?

you clicked on subtweets after subtweets to find the original tweet he sent out. you scrolled for a couple seconds before you found it.

he apologised? for what? there was no way he was apologising for making me wait. that was so long ago, you barely remembered why you stayed on for so long.

sapnap’s name is in the tweet.

OH.

it was because of the most recent thing.

but how is it his fault? you read more of it.

he talked about making you wait for him while he scouts for a new, better girl he felt best suited for him. he spoke about neglecting you and taking you for granted.

and lastly, he talked about taking his best friend’s chance away from you using lies he made up, lies about him talking bad about you.

you didn’t cry. you didn’t feel tears coming at all, if you were being honest. you were just confused. but the confusion turned to concern. why did he talk about it now, especially publicly?

he wasn’t one to announce anything this big. he was being reckless, and you wanted to know why.

“what the hell.” you spoke out loud this time. the vc felt too eerily quiet that it was starting to make you feel uncomfortable.

‘it’s about fucking time he maned up.” corpse said out, laughing about the statement he made.

“i am in shock.” you told your best friend and rest of them. you just had to sit there on your chair for a while, to process everything properly before you could say anything further.

“you look like you would pass out any second.” toast pointed out, clearly watching your stream. you smiled at the comment.

your discord pinged. someone sent you a message. you opened discord on your other monitor to avoid exposing yourself somehow, not knowing what the viewers are able to find out with little information.

it was karl. he sent you a discord message. and you saw another from quackity, one of his best friends. you opened quackity’s. you wanted to avoid the question in matter for as long as you could.

saw the tweet? he sent you a message.

yeah, i did. it was something. you typed back.

i did not expect that. careful opening karl’s text. he sent back.

got it. opening his now. you sent.

you sighed, composing yourself before you opened his message, but making it less obvious, knowing that you were still streaming.

“one sec, guys. gotta do something.” you told them. they’d understand. you were sure that your views were going up because of this, anyways.

i’m sorry, i really am. his message says.

why’d you do it? you asked, simply.

jealousy. realised i missed out on something good. he typed. you rolled your eyes.

but that’s not the point. karl sends you another message.

then what is? you asked again. you were tired and you wanted nothing more than this to end.

you and nick are meant to be together. i was just selfish. i took the best thing to ever happen to him, away for him. let me make it better. please. he begged.

you’ve already hurt me once. you typed and sent back. now sighing and going back to your stream to get ready to end it.

your phone rung. a facetime. it was corpse. without a doubt, you picked up your phone.

“your life is a movie.” he laughed hard that you could feel the tummy ache forming.

“shut up.” you rolled your eyes teasingly.

you put down your phone, still facing you so corpse could see what you were doing while you ended the stream, apologising that the ending was different and not like the others.

you picked up your phone to bring corpse along to your kitchen. you were feeling hungry from the long stream you had to sit through.

you two were talking about the issue on hand at first, until you two finally found a different subject to talk about. you two kept talking and ranting on the phone, laughing most of the time for hours until you heard your door handle jiggle, someone trying to open your door.

and then a knock. you became aware and started thinking about who could want to meet you at this time. you looked at your phone, at corpse’s face as he showed the same expression as you did.

“dude, this is when i die.” you joked but half serious.

“shut the fuck up and do not open the door.” he told you, obviously serious, not joking at all.

“i am opening the door.” you told him.

he look at you like you were the stupidest person on planet earth.

“are you being fucking serious? no.” he told you.

he was too late, you were already at your door handle. just one turn and you could open your house door.

you opened it slowly, still aware of the danger that could be behind that door.

but all the bad thoughts went out the window when you saw the person on your porch.

nick stepped up, to move closer to you, coming in your house. he did it all in a split second. he put one hand on your waist, the other on your neck, fingers on your cheek, not giving you time to speak, he put his lips on yours.

you dropped your phone on impulse, putting your hands where it felt most appropriate, his neck.

you could hear corpse screaming, wondering what was happening, if you were in any kind of danger. but you were so focused.

“one more chance, is all i’m asking for. and i won’t take that chance for granted.” he told you, his forehead touching yours. you nodded.

“best first meeting ever.” you whispered, more to yourself but you were sure nick could hear from the small laugh he let out.

you were sure corpse almost called your state police at that point, if it weren’t for you picking up your phone after that. he had tears in his eyes, panicking.

that’s the corpse you know and love.

worst and best day ever.

#karl jacobs #karl jacobs x reader #karl jacobs imagine #karl jacobs imagines #sapnap imagines #sapnap x reader #sapnap imagine #sapnap

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americangirlstar · 3 years

Text

Now that both Courtney books are out and I’ve read and processed them both, I do want to say that I think they’re the least well-written of any of the AG books, but not through any fault of their own- let me explain.

(Note that for this discussion I’m ignoring the Doylist criticisms- Courtney and 3/4 of her friend group being white again, the lack of gay discussion in-text in regards to the HIV crisis, etc. These are valid complaints and concerns, but not what we’re talking about right now.)

The Problem with the Current Book Length

I think the main problem with Courtney stems from the fact her books are so short. American Girl has literally been doing the stupidest things in regards to their books lately, almost as if they’re trying to sabotage them on purpose. First they remove illustrations in 2015- when their target audience is about nine years old. I don’t know about you, but when I was six and getting into American Girl, the illustrations were the highlight for me. Not because I had no attention span and loved pretty pictures, but because it showed me firstly what the girl’s life was like, whether it be 1760s wilderness or 2001 Chicago. It was like stepping into their world, really helping you get into their heads, which was basically what the dolls were supposed to do, to let you know that girls like you exist throughout time and space.

As well as that, the illustrations were free advertisement. I can’t tell you how excited me and my sisters were as children to go to the American Girl place and look at the doll displays, shouting that that’s the dress Felicity wears to the ball! or look, Josefina’s goat looks exactly like the book! AG cut that from 2015 to 2020, as if they were trying to appeal to an older audience- while at the same time changing all the doll outfits, accessories and marketing to appeal to a younger demographic.

Now, this isn’t about the illustrations, as Courtney got those- it’s about what they did to the historical characters after the Illustration Outrage™ happened. See, they’d condensed the historical six-book format into two books- not necessarily a bad idea, parents would be more likely to buy two books for their kid than consider buying six. However, they then claimed that if they put illustrations back, they would have to abridge the books- literally my nightmare.

First of all, American Girl, we know for a fact you can fit all six books plus illustrations into ONE VOLUME, let alone two. You’re just being cowards here and trying to nerf your own stories for... some reason.

So that meant a lot of important things got cut- Rebecca’s Chanukah story, Melody’s cousin’s house search, Maryellen’s Christmas adventure... all things important to the girls’ histories and character.

The Problem with Courtney’s Writing

Now, Courtney was the first doll to be released after the abridging began, meaning her books were released, in their entirety, just as short as the abridged stories. So it basically means she gets four books while the others get six- and unlike the others, Courtney doesn’t even have mysteries or short stories to pad out. (And honestly, looking at her book’s amount of content, I’d even argue that she basically got two while everyone else got six, but I digress.)

The problem with her books isn’t that they have an author writing them poorly (I really feel like her author was doing the best with what limited time she had), but in how cramped American Girl made them. Because, well, Courtney has to deal with a lot in such a short amount of words.

Let’s compare her to Julie, for instance- Julie pretty much has a new 70s thing every book. In order: feminism, rising divorce rates, San Francisco’s Chinese culture, environmentalism, the country’s bicentennial, anti-bullying and deaf acceptance. And adding to this, we also have her own personal journies through her parents’ divorce and move, her basketball team, her friendship with Ivy (and later Joy), overcoming her fear of horses, student council, detention... It’s a lot, and yet her books don’t feel rushed or forced at all. It’s just a year in the life of a girl going through a lot of new and sudden events, and how she grows and changes throughout them. She may not be as deep a character as Addy or Kirsten, but not every girl goes through the trials and tribulations they do, and it’s a good series overall.

Courtney, meanwhile, does feel rushed and forced, because of the short timespan. Instead of fitting everything into a six-book format- or even at two-book format that is the same length and content as the six-book- everything has to be fit into two short books. Everything Courtney has to cover includes the topics of divorce and stepfamilies, feminist and technological advancement, the Challenger explosion, the HIV crisis, Hands Across America, and the founding of Pleasant Company. And in Courtney’s own journey, she has to cover her learning to stand up for herself, her relationship with her stepsister and Tina’s own character development, her mother running for mayor and how that affects her, how much she misses her Dad after he moves, her friendship with Sarah (note on that later), her basically getting hate-crimed after standing up for her friend... that’s a LOT of stuff, and I didn’t even include the non-AG 80s product placement they shove into her collection.

But without the longer format, everything is pushed together to its detriment. Tina’s development and Maureen’s mayoral candidacy are two plotlines that are literally dropped and almost completely ignored in the second book. The Challenger and HIV issues were handled decently, but the Challenger only lasted a few short chapters, and the HIV topic was not as informative as it could be, leaving out several things like Reagan’s refusal to treat it for so long, and its effect on the gay community. Honestly, the HIV scare was more shifted to focus on the mob mentality of a new and scary disease- which, while needed right now, also ignores many of the bigotry-related reasons it became an epidemic. Pleasant Company’s inclusion feels forced in, and I think was the only resolution she had to her Dad plotline?

And don’t get me started on the Sarah plotline- every Girl of the Year since Kanani- sans Isabelle and Luci- has had the story of “oh no I’ve been ignoring my friend and now they’re mad at me :(” and it’s SO old. Seriously, I counted the contemporary dolls that have had that storyline, and it’s thirteen*. Thirteen times we’ve covered this issue- almost all of it in quick succession- and now we have to deal with it in a historical character book while much more important things are going on! Yes, it sucks when a friend ditches you while you’re being attacked and bullied for something you’re standing up for, but once again, with how much is happening in such a short book, it just feels like a forced-in plotline that we’ve seen a billion times, and with their falling-out happening mainly due to the attention Courtney was given Isaac, it serves to make Sarah seem closed-minded at best and bigoted at worst- it’s clarified that she’s not, she’s just scared and upset with Courtney, but when you put those events so close together, it leads the reader to lump them together and get the impression that, you know, Sarah is a worse person than she is.

*Full count: Nicki (book 2), Chrissa (book 2), Kanani (2), McKenna (1 iirc?), Saige (both books), Grace (2), Lea (3), Gabriela (1 and 3), Tenney (2), Z (1), Blaire (1), Joss (1) and Kira (1).

It’s a bit weird, too, that Courtney’s... what’s the word? Vibe? with her how her story is written and marketed Is closer to the Contemporaries than the Historicals. Am I the only one feeling this? My best explanation for it is that the author, Kellen Hertz, had only written contemporary books for American Girl before- the third Lea Clark book and all four Tenney Grant books, both of which contained the Friendship Issues™ plot. I’m not at all saying she’s a bad author- I honestly love the way the Tenney books are written- and I’m not saying she couldn’t write a historical book, but it’s clear American Girl didn’t ask her to change up her style or content from what she’d done for them before, as well as giving her way too much to cover in such short books.

Conclusion

Honestly, this conclusion should be obvious- American Girl needs to expand their books again. Whether they simply allow the books to be unabridged, or go back to the six-book format, Courtney's books are too cramped to tell an effective story, let alone the poor abridged girls.

The other girls were given six-book length, so if they went back to that length or format, Courtney would have to be rewritten, at least a little- and that’s okay! There’s a lot of things that could use expansion or connection, such as her Summer trip with her Dad that was given basically one sentence in the text. Her growth with her stepfamily could be acknowledged- and honestly? I think that if these books were expanded, her mother’s mayoral arc should either continue through the books, or Maureen should become mayor before the book 2 arc. I’ve mentioned this before, but having Maureen as mayor (or even still a candidate) would put a lot of pressure on Courtney to be perfect so that nobody can say “look at how awful this woman is for doing politics instead of raising her family right”- which means that when the Isaac stuff happens, it has even more stakes for Courtney and her family. Does her Mom still support her with her own reputation on the line, and what does that say about Maureen’s character, how does it affect Courtney and the D’Amicos... that’s all fascinating stuff that was completely missed out on.

And if she was turned into a six-book format- honestly, here’s how I’d do it, just off the top of my head. It would involve a bit of event shuffling, but honestly I think it would work!

Meet Courtney - pretty much the setup for everything happening, her starting to get her Crystal Starshooter plans and her mom’s campaign beginning.

Courtney Learns a Lesson - her relationship to Tina, culminating in the Challenger incident.

Courtney’s Surprise - we move the founding of Pleasant Company over here, since Molly’s basically her Christmas Present. We’ll probably need an additional plotline- maybe similar to Julie, she can have a story on spending the holidays in different places.

Happy Birthday Courtney - end of summer, aka meeting Isaac and her trip with her Dad.

Courtney Saves the Day - Beginning of the HIV arc, ending at her presentation to her class.

Changes for Courtney - Continuation of the HIV arc as things get worse for her and Isaac, ending where Friendship Superhero ends.

Is that a perfect sorting? Probably not, I came up with it in ten minutes. But would it give Courtney space to breathe and more time to explore everything happening to her? Probably!

The tl;dr of this is honestly that American Girl are absolute cowards right now, and need to expand their books back. Their abridging is only harming their stories- which, as Courtney herself points out, are the reason girls got into their company in the first place.

#courtney moore #american girl #american girl dolls #american girls #1986 #negativity #mine #americangirlstar

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greatsagestonemonkey · 3 years

Text

About “Shadow Play”

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

Okay, so, after watching “Shadow Play”, I had to write this out because a lot of people are talking about it and I had to lay out my two cents without being limited to a tiny box...

Possible spoilers for both Lego Monkie Kid Season 2 episode “Shadow Play” AND for Journey to the West, so be warned!

Okay for starters, the episode had a lot to unpack, but this is going to be covering the whole issue of “Poor Macaque” and “what the fuck Wukong”. THAT being said, I definitely LOVED the episode, it was fantastic! But I feel like this needs to be talked about because the writing for the episode tells a LOT more than I think people are seeing. That’s what I want to discuss here.

So, we all know from the story Macaque told in the episode, that he and Wukong go WAY back, the parallel of the Sun and the Moon was used, with Wukong being the Sun and Macaque being the Moon, of course, and that eventually Macaque was left behind by Wukong and he appears to be quite bitter about that. This is where I’ve noticed a lot of people bringing up the “what the fuck Wukong” bit... BUT, they seem to be overlooking something important here:

Wukong’s circlet. Also known as the “cursed hat” or “tightening band”. People who have read the book know that this circlet was given to Wukong by Tripitaka (also courtesy of Guan Yin) to keep Wukong in line. “Why?” many of you are probably asking... Well, it’s not just because Wukong is insanely powerful, that’s just part of the reason; a very MINOR reason.

The main and most important reason that people often forget about Wukong is that he is IMPULSIVE to a fault. For the first six chapters of Journey to the West, Wukong is driven PURELY by his impulsive desires. He never listened to anyone! His rampage through Heaven was testimony to that, as was his taking Buddha’s challenge to escape his palm, and in the end, his own hubris was his downfall. But even after being imprisoned for 500 years, Wukong hadn’t changed much. Or at all, in fact. That is why Tripitaka needed the circlet and the tightening mantra that came with it to control him; because Wukong wouldn’t listen to him AT ALL. It was only after Tripitaka had an effective way to discipline the monkey that Wukong started to actually do as he was asked. And as the book goes on, Wukong becomes more compliant, actually listening and doing as asked without Tripitaka having to use the tightening mantra to get Wukong to calm down. There’s actually a pretty compelling scene later on in the book (I don’t remember the exact chapter or page) where Tripitaka stops Wukong from attacking a demon minion JUST by calling out his name, whereas before he would have to recite the mantra to get him to stop.

There’s another infamous scene where Wukong is moved to tears by Tripitaka’s compassion for others, whereas earlier in the book Wukong wouldn’t have really bothered much with pity for others. Like seriously. He couldn’t be bothered to look after anyone but himself or his monkeys. He was kind of a selfish dick that way. But in that particular scene, it showed that Wukong had changed A LOT since being made to stop and listen to Tripitaka every once in awhile via the circlet. It was kind of like a wake-up call for him, in a way.

Anyway, we can clearly see the circlet on Wukong’s head in this scene when Macaque is showing how Wukong left. I know we can see it in earlier ones too, but I think the reason for that is because that’s how Macaque sees Wukong, but we’ll come back to that in a bit.

Now, we all know that Macaque is supposed to represent Wukong’s darker side, his “shadow”. And one thing that I think the writer’s made clear in this episode is that Macaque hasn’t changed much. He’s still the dark half, the side of Wukong that will always be in the shadows; the part of him that was BEFORE Wukong changed due to his travels with Tripitaka. Since it’s hinted that Macaque was with Wukong before his rampage through heaven and his 500 year imprisonment, we know that he saw the side of Wukong that existed before Wukong went through the various level of character development that he did in the Journey to the West. And the thing that the writers for “Shadow Play” make clear is that Macaque doesn’t completely understand why Wukong changed.

Macaque wasn’t there for the Journey. Which was probably his choice. The writers of this episode, and of the episode “Macaque” make it clear that Macaque hasn’t changed much in the centuries. He himself makes that clear by referring to himself as Wukong’s shadow, and with the parallel of the sun and the moon. And because he wasn’t there, because he stayed in the shadows, he clearly doesn’t understand the reason behind Wukong’s change and choice to stay by Tripitaka’s side through the Journey, despite being jilted and hurt by the monk plenty of times.

Wukong chose to stay with Tripitaka because he was changing, growing, for the better, even if he himself didn’t realize it right away. But when he did realize it, he chose to stay, even if that meant leaving behind a part of him--or even someone--that he held very dear; Macaque.

Which now brings us to this next part people keep talking about:

The scene where Macaque apparently gets his scar.

We now know for certain that Macaque gets his scar from Wukong. And a lot of people have been expressing their curiosity over why the two ended up fighting each other, or what could have prompted Wukong to wound someone he was supposed to have cared about in such a way.

Well, for those of you who have read the book, you probably know why exactly why. For those who haven’t, in the chapter where the Six Eared Macaque first makes his appearance, he attacks and wounds Tripitaka badly; like with the full intention of killing him kind of badly. I won’t spoil the whole chapter for you, but long story short, is that when confronted after his identity as “the false monkey king” is revealed, he confesses that his plan is to kill everyone in the Journey Crew--minus Wukong--and replace them with duplicates that he has created.

Now, we know from previous episodes of the series so far, that Wukong cares for the rest of the Journey Crew VERY MUCH. He’s kept momentos from the Journey and even made those little origami figures of them with that little shrine in the New Years Special. And we’ve seen how he gets when you threaten someone he cares about via the scene of him with Lady White Bone in that very same special.

THAT is what their fight was about.

Macaque hurt someone Wukong cared about, and Wukong retaliated in kind. Maybe he went a little too far, but he definitely wasn’t going to let it slide. It was almost literally “an eye for an eye”.

Now we come back to that bit of how Macaque sees Wukong, as promised. Macaque shows off Wukong with the circlet in the play because he again, doesn’t understand the reason behind Wukong’s change. He probably knows what the circlet does, and thus sees it and the one who controls it as the reason. This is probably why he attacked Tripitaka; in Macaque’s mind, without Tripitaka, without the tightening mantra, Wukong will go back to being his old self.

Macaque doesn’t understand that Wukong was changing without the circlet being used on him. He says this himself in Episode 9 of Season 1, when he delivers the line, “The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me! But you’re scared of hurting some kid?!”

That. Right there. Says SO much now that we’ve seen Shadow Play.

Wukong changed for reasons that Macaque doesn’t understand; Wukong grew to care about others and the consequences of his actions. But because Macaque stayed behind, he still holds onto Wukong’s old ways, and he wants that back. He used the analogy of himself as the warrior in the story, and even told MK about the “happy ending” because deep down that’s what he wants. He wants the old Wukong back because that’s the Wukong he understands.

Then we come to the line where he tells MK that he’s “a bit too much” like Monkey King, right after the flashback of how he got his scar. If we refer to that bit above again, we know that Macaque got his scar from Wukong after he tried to kill Tripitaka and very nearly turned the whole Journey Crew against Wukong completely. And what was Macaque doing in this scene?

The same thing.

He was using MK’s friends against him, which ticked MK off to the point where MK went almost blind with rage in an effort to get his friends back. We see in that brief flashback, that Macaque saw that bit of Wukong in MK; the part that cared too much.

This is also where we see a bit of growth in Macaque, and again I refer to the flashback. He realizes he’s reliving a moment where he possibly went too far, and decides to back out before it goes even further to a point where he gets hurt. But that’s also testament to how much he hasn’t changed over the centuries; he’s still only the best at looking out for himself, just like Wukong was before Tripitaka changed him.

His whole conversation with MK after the fight also shows how much he wants the old Wukong back and doesn’t want to see MK go down the same path, and we see it through the whole episode; he sees MK and Wukong as too “soft” now. They get concerned too easily with others, and what will happen if they fail, whereas Macaque is overconfident to a fault, looks out for “old number one” (himself) and doesn’t have the inconvenience of looking out for others to weigh him down or to blind him from his person goals. That’s why he tells MK he’s not ready, not because he lack the ability, but because he lacks the survival instinct. That same survival instinct that Macaque is used to.

In conclusion, Macaque both is and isn’t the victim here. He’s not Wukong’s victim, he’s his own victim; victim to his own misunderstanding and his own unwillingness to change or to accept change. It’s actually something we see in a lot of people, but we’re often unaware of because the signs are often hard to read, and I think that’s why a lot of people have reacted to this episode in the way they have. Again, I’m not saying that this episode was bad or anything, again, it was fantastic! The writers did an outstanding job, I just think there’s a lot more that they were trying to tell us with how they played it out that a lot of people aren’t seeing, and I really wanted to address that.

WHEW! Anyway, I think that about covers everything... sorry this is so long, and if you read this far, thank you so much for giving this a read!

#monkie kid #season 2 #spoilers #journey to the west #macaque #wukong #shadow play #psychology talk #warning long post

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todoscript · 4 years

Note

prompt 100, todoroki, smut? first time/confession?

Always You.

Prompt | “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

Genre | SMUT. Fluff.

Pairing | Todoroki Shouto x Fem!Reader

Words | 5.2K+

Warnings | 18+. Smut. Oral. Penetration. Semi-public sex. Body worship. Characters are aged up. Feelings Revealed. Cuddling.

Summary | Hearing your troubled thoughts about the daunting future ahead of you, Shouto finally realizes what you meant to him all this time.

A/N | I’ve been wanting to dabble with smut, so thank you Anon for this request (also I’m assuming you requested the prompt based on this list from my past drabble event). This is my first time posting e/xplicit content so beware of all the warnings. Other than that, please let me know your thoughts!

Big thank you to @sadistiks and @shoutogepi for beta reading! I really appreciate it! <3

For the longest time, since the very first year of his high school journey to becoming a hero, Todoroki Shouto knew that you were special to him. But he didn’t realize what these emotions meant.

At first, the feelings bombarded his thoughts like a haze—a screen of smoke he couldn’t see past. He initially discerned it as an affliction down his path, blocking his sight from the light at the end of his heroic odyssey. Yet even when he waved the murk away, he felt your spirit was still somehow manifested within him.

The darkness of the dim first floor greeted him when he arrived down from the elevator, the agony of no sleep pestering mind. The light shuddered back inside as he stepped out, a ding echoing throughout the quiet atmosphere that was the dead of the night. He trekked down the halls, past the kitchen, and into the common space where only a single flicker of candlelight met his vision.

However, when he approached closer, he noticed the fire wasn’t alone. There you were, sat on the couch with warm, soothing tea nestled in your hands.

“Y/n,” he called out, and you heard his voice quickly in the silence. You turned around, knowing well it was Shouto from the distinct husk in his tone and not your teacher Aizawa coming to reproach you for still being up so late.

“Oh Shouto, couldn’t sleep either?” you asked. He replied with a nod, which compelled you to pat the cushions on the couch. He took your offer and established himself into the light, sitting next to you.

For a moment, a gentle lull instilled itself into the atmosphere. You didn’t say anything to each other, but your presences were enough to soothe the strain in your bodies and release any disturbing thoughts plaguing your minds. It was an unspoken form of affirmation between you two that Shouto was oddly fond of. When you perched your cup of tea onto the coffee table, you finally cut the silence.

“I’ve been… thinking…” Your words drifted off, and Shouto removed his sight from the candle’s dancing fire to turn to you.

“About?” He poked the remark further.

“Our class. Our journey to becoming heroes,” you answered, folding your legs into you on the couch with your chin propped against your knees. “Soon, it’ll all be over.”

Your words lingered with distraught at the thought that within a few months left in your third year, the next step in your path will open forward, leaving a curtain to draw close on the current one you’ve walked upon for nearly three years now. It was unsettling. Realizing the habits you’ve established, and the faces you’ve been accustomed to throughout each day, will suddenly vanish within the instant you approached life after high school. It scared you as much as it did the boy by your side, which to him was strange.

It shouldn’t bother him as much. He’s worked himself up since he was a child, grinding sweat and rigor through his bones to achieve this goal. He’s known across his entire life that he’d eventually end up at this point and move further toward that dream of becoming a Pro Hero. Yet when you addressed the troubling notions out loud, he grew conflicted.

“That’s right. We’ll be walking on our different paths after,” Shouto said. It was then he realized the weight amassed in that single statement. That once the year is over, you won’t be ingrained into each other’s lives anymore. He wouldn’t get to see your smiling face greeting him every morning or engage in the compelling conversations you enacted between classes. His life would be different from then on out, and the idea of the emptiness carved into it after your departure left an ache in him, making him hollow.

“A-Are you ready for it? To move on and leave everything behind?” you stuttered as if anxious to receive his answer. Deep down, you wanted to believe the boy still desired to hang onto the present and the relationships woven into this fabric of time, rather than cut them off and start a new seam. However, you could not forget about his achievements and hard work, forged through sheer will and determination. He was amongst the top in your entire year, and you couldn’t neglect that he was destined for bigger and better things after. It would be selfish of you to anchor him down with these chilling notions of yours.

Yet as Shouto thought over the questions, he envisioned his trudge down this long winding road, and then remembered everything. He remembered all the times his eyes lingered on you, and the silent, reassuring exchanges you sent each other between infinitesimal moments. He remembered all the words you spoke to him when his spirits were down, recalling whenever he willingly sought out your presence just to be near you—next to you. And he remembered the heat on his body and the confliction he dealt with whenever he craved your touch as every thought of you ignited a blaze he wished you could douse out, lest his sense of reason be incinerated.

It’s when he reached the end of this path, and the light peaked in its brightest form that he ultimately realized. The light was you. It was always you from the beginning. You were never the haze obscuring his journey, but the luminosity that guided his way, showing him to who he truly was and helping him experience all the joys on this path.

Shouto snuck a glance over to you while your eyes still lined downward at the quivering reflection of the cup of chamomile tea next to the candle. The single light source illuminated every crest beautified on your face, and he beheld the vulnerability within the moment as if you were the only thing on this earth. You made him happy and filled that void in his existence that plagued him before he arrived at U.A., like the missing piece of an incomplete puzzle. He could not fathom the world around him without you.

Shouto breathed a heavy sigh from his lips. Despite your doubt and suspense, his answer felt all too obvious to him.

“No, I don’t think I’m ready to move on just yet,” he conclusively admitted. When you perceived his answer, you loosened your legs clutched to your chest, and met his eyes with an astonished expression.

“Shouto, what are you saying?” You tried to urge him to rethink his words again, understand what they meant. Shouto, out of the majority of everyone in your year, should be more than prepared for the future to come. You’ve known the boy so closely throughout your three years together, but you couldn’t discern whatever could be troubling his mind for him to be afraid of taking that leap forward.

“There’s… something in this life that I’m not willing to let go of yet,” he cast his gaze to the small flit of the candle before shifting it to the glow of your irises. His hands reached out and entwined with yours, and the comforting touch of your warm skin gave him the fortitude to continue.

“You. I don’t think I’m ready to leave you yet, Y/n,” he told you, and in the quiet, the words nearly echo through your mind. Initially, you’re speechless at the confession, but you don’t pull away. In fact, you gripped his hands tighter, like maybe the Shouto in front of you was a mirage conjured by your lack of sleep. However, he’s real. The unwavering stare, the altering sensations clasped against his calloused palms, the resolute composure on his handsome features. They were all real.

“Sh-Shouto… I—”

“I realized what you meant to me. You’re always on my mind because you’re the one thing in this life I can’t go without, the one person I won’t and can’t move on from.” Though a man of few words, he mustered the strength to utter this unyielding declaration.

“I’m in love with you, Y/n,” he imparted the words he’s been meaning to tell you—the words that finally answered the confusion he felt all this time and lifted the veil that clouded him.

Your eyes shimmered, hearing the heart behind his affirmation. Your face shifted from a mien of confliction to one of acceptance, allowing yourself to wholeheartedly welcome the emotions he finally unshackled from the depths of his soul.

“Shouto, I… I love you. I think deep down, I’ve always felt the same, I just never knew if it was right for us to be together,” you said, and it obliged him to return an enlightened look while he slowly inched closer.

“But… What does this mean from here on out?” you tried to ask through a whisper, but the ceasing proximity between you two blanks your mind to only the attention of Shouto’s face drawing near, his cold breath tickling your lips.

“I don’t know. All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop, I’m going to kiss you,” he warned yet didn’t stop to pause as his eager lips finally met yours in a searing sensation of emotions. Your mind adjusted to the caress of his lips, soon melding perfectly into his with a simple tilt of your head.

Shouto brought a hand up to hold your jaw while his other gripped underneath your thigh to adjust your position, now straddling him on the couch to allow your bodies to press together intimately. Naturally, your arms found their way around his neck while you continued mingling your lips for kiss after kiss in the empty common space, tongues dancing together. He palmed at every inch of your skin, traveling from the expanse of your naked legs to your ass, and then up to your clothed breasts. Through these motions, you grounded yourself against him and felt the growing shape beneath his sweatpants form against your covered cunt.

Your lips detached for a second. You stared into the evident lustful haze fogged in his fraternal twin irises, a playful grin on your swollen lips. “Are you sure all you want to do is kiss?”

He mirrored your smirk, hands lightly grazing your thighs teasingly. “Not even close, love.”

Hearing the endearing name caused a heat to pool in your lower-half, which continued to grow desperately hot while he embarked his mouth on a journey across the expanse of your neck. You winced at the array of fervent kisses left in his wake and noticed his hands busied themselves by rubbing circles against your torso to your hips underneath your sleeping clothes. He brushed up against your breasts, unrestricted due to an absence of a bra. His touch felt like fire, and sent you into dizzying desire. It wasn’t long until he finally tugged on the hem of your shirt. Taking the hint, you moved your arms up to allow him to pull the article of clothing off.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he muttered and wasted no time in admiring your bare upper body, tossing your shirt to the side. Though he only spoke of beautifying praises, he noticed your hesitance when you hovered your arms in front of him, cheeks growing vividly hot. At this, he took your hands in his and moved them away from obscuring the beautiful sight before his adamant, loving gaze.

“I mean it. You’re the prettiest thing on this earth, Y/n,” he assured, planting a kiss against each of your palms then settling them on his shoulders.

“And I’m going to make sure—” His words paused as his mouth attached to your skin once more.

“That your beautiful body—” He molded his lips against the underside of one mound, traveling upward.

“Knows all the things—” it eventually made its way to your nip that shivered and hardened through the exposure to the cold air, “I’ll be doing to it.”

Hearing those sensual words leave the mouth of a man usually so composed and calm made your mind scatter in a hazy daze that drenched you from your panties to the thin material of your shorts, undoubtedly wetting his sweatpants in the process.

“Mm… Ahh…” you breathed out a sigh of moans next to his ear thanks to his methodical movements, which sounded like a melody he would repeat over and over in his head for years to come. One of his large hands slipped behind you down your shorts to grip your ass, ignoring the clothing, and the other wandered to your breast that wasn’t occupied by the heated presses of his mouth. You tried to keep yourself anchored to reality and not drift off in the hot air of lust by gripping behind his head and weaving your fingers in his dual-colored tresses. Unknowingly, you pressed him further into you, and he gladly continued to indulge in his simulations.

Eventually, he parted from your body to sit back and admire his handy work, which were the marks adorned on your skin and the needy look on your face left in his wake. The glimmer of the candlelight behind you accentuated the outline of your figure, and he wanted to ingrain this pretty image into his head so badly.

“Sh-Shouto…” you whined, and his eyes perked up.

“What is it, love?” he asked, though his hands continued caressing your waist and thighs almost tauntingly, discerning the desire in your voice.

“I want…”

“Want what?” he pried on.

“You know what I want...” You bashfully eyed down his lap, fingers tracing below his shirt to the waistband of his pants, tugging.

“Hm, do I?” he jeered, and you cursed at how he dragged out your desires while falling further into his mischief from the way he resumed stroking the fever of your skin.

“Yes, you do,” you ground against his erection once more, hoping to spark a reaction. And in the end, you received one in the form of his hands gripping your hips to still your movements.

“Fuck…” His brows narrowed tightly together from the shift that caused blood to spike through his cock. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you want, love—what you need,” he finally assured, softly touching your cheek with the back of his hand before planting a peck.

“But first, I want a taste. Hands on the couch,” he ordered in the husky timbre of his voice, and you didn’t disobey, lest he draw out your pleasure toward a nerve-wracking pace your body couldn’t handle anymore. You moved off his lap and crawled to the furthest end to perch yourself against the couch’s arm, knees on the cushions, and bottoms faced toward Shouto.

He awarded your immediate compliance with his hands, dragging themselves down the skin of your back and descending toward the waistband of your shorts. However, to your chagrin, he only pulled off the first layer.

His eyes beheld the color of red while he jerked the clothing down your thighs, now met and widened at the sight of your rose-hued panties. He watched as you slowly turned your head to catch his amorous expression, the man kneeled behind you from the view of your ass emphasized by the flimsy, lace fabric. He admired how you glowed from the candle, and how the moonlight filtered through the windows of the common room, cascaded on the expanse of skin the firelight couldn’t reach, while your body was arched, ready, and willing for his and his eyes only. If you were a goddess, he’d worship you and visit your shrine for the rest of his life. No, scratch that, in Shouto’s eyes, no goddess or deity could ever compare to you.

“God, how is everything about you so perfect…” he breathed out, tone laced in utter affection. Your face blossomed crimson from his praises.

The candle at his side still offered him enough light to see the evident damp spot on the crotch of your panties. When he pulled them down, your slick strung from the lacey material to your lower glistening lips, which made him release a strained groan. You helped him remove the tainted articles of clothing by lifting your knees as he slid them down your legs, letting them pile in a heap on the floor.

“Even your pussy’s pretty…” he spoke the obscene words like they were second nature, but you couldn’t conjure anything in reply except a whimper when he dragged his fingers across your sex. He smeared your wetness on his fingertips, not even offering their full length into your heat.

“F-Fuck… please,” you begged, fidgeting in your spot to usher him to do anything more to stop the ache in your body.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, leaning over you and tossing your hair to the side to smother kisses on the nape of your neck. He then trailed his mouth down your back at an agonizing pace while his fingers continued to toy with your wet cunt using touches that could never climb you to the peak of your high. Soon his lips arrived at your asscheek, melding the smooches against your flesh while he dipped toward his desired destination.

Shouto leveled his gaze to your ass, grasping it firmly in his hands and spreading you open. The scent of your arousal invaded his senses. Your exposure to his intimate eyes made your cunt twitch in front of him, slick gathering and sticking to your thighs.

“Mm, so so pretty...”

However, as much as he wanted to dive right in and drink all your nectar, your cute whimpers drove him to tease you once more, only granting you the sensations of his breath fanned on your dripping sex.

“Baby, what do you want?” You couldn’t believe he had the nerve to ask. Still, you played along, albeit not nearly as patient as the man behind you.

“Y-Your mouth,” you answered, and you felt the thin smirk on his lips when he kissed your ass one last time.

“A nice answer,” is all he muttered before his tongue finally reached your aching entrance. He licked around you, his hold on your flesh tightened to bare your pussy to his entering appendage. At the feeling of his muscle along your silky walls, your nails started digging into the arm of the green couch, voice singing out unhinged.

“Careful, love, everyone’s still sleeping. We wouldn’t want them to hear now, would we?” he warned when he detached from your sex, yet was quick to dive in again. Clasping your hand over your mouth to mute the airy noises emitting from your lips, you remembered where you were—in an open and publicly used space. It especially became very apparent when the squelch of his mouth against you reverberated in the vast, empty area due to Shouto becoming a man unshackled by his passionate desires for the woman he loved. The last thing you wanted was for the boys on the second floor to wake up. Or worse, accidentally alert Mr. Aizawa.

As Shouto continued tasting your cunt, the heat coursing through your body was slowly boiling and longing to burst, your mewls edging to heavy moans past your hand. When your pussy started grappling around his tongue, he realized you inched closer and closer to release.

“Are you going to cum for me? Soak my tongue with everything you got?”

You hissed a squeal of a yes, along with a speedy succession of nods that was enough of a response for Shouto to help you reach your high. His motions transcended faster, and he added to the revelry by inserting a long finger into you, easily touching the particular spongy area inside that made you quiver. The overflowing sensations hollowed the sounds in your throat to mere hoarse throes of pleasure. His bind on your flesh grew firmer, like his feast on your cunt was the ambrosia he needed to revitalize his body.

“Ah, f-fuck Shouto, I’m— I’m—”

“Do it, baby. Cum all over my face.”

The weighty lust in his words was the last fuel you needed to attain your peak. At last, your sex clenched across Shouto’s tongue, covering his mouth in your juices as your screams were suppressed against the couch arm you buried your face into, knowing your hand was too weak of a barrier to contain your loud, wanton cries. With you soon becoming limp due to the mind-blowing orgasm that coursed your body, you braced yourself on the couch’s arm. Turning your head, you observed the glistened sheen covering the lower half of Shouto’s face that he earnestly licked and then rubbed against his forearm. The heady sight resulted in your body growing hot and bothered all over again.

“Mm, you taste so delicious, love,” he told you before he eased forward across your form and captured your mouth for another searing kiss that allowed you to taste your flavor on his tongue. Shouto’s arms readily wove around your naked body, positioning you to lay comfortably flat beneath him on the couch while never leaving the fervid lip-lock. You hung an arm over his back, and a hand settled into his hair.

“Ah.. wait,” you managed to voice between the wistful union of your tongues, letting Shouto lean his forehead against yours to peer into your eyes.

“What is it?”

“You’ve been doing all the work tonight. The least I should do to repay you is give you some pleasure, right?” you said, attempting to reach lower toward the bulge keen on his sweats. Yet Shouto halted you with a quick hand on your wrist.

“It’s alright, Y/n. I want to use this night to appreciate and love you,” he stated, bringing your hand to his lips as his gaze never moved from yours. “And besides, we can do that next time.”

Next time? You wordlessly repeated the phrase, mind trying to fathom what this passionate night would spark in the aftermath for you two.

Even with everything ahead of him, he still desired to be with you—to love and cherish you. Now that you’ve both admitted to the feelings concealed within yourselves for so long, there wasn’t any way Shouto could just let you go. One way or another, he’d carve another path down his odyssey where you two would walk together, and he could forever bask in your light.

But for now, he needed to tend to you and satiate his lust that has thoroughly built up throughout the heaty progression of the night, his cock painfully taut in the bounds of his clothing. At last, he granted his body the small bit of freedom it craved by removing his shirt and sweatpants, leaving his skin bare to the air like yours. Raking your eyes over his form scrupulously, you bit into your lower lip at the expanse of firm muscle lining every inch of his frame. The light beside you seemed only to enhance every marbled crest delved across his features. Those three years of fierce hero training committed wonders on his body, and you were eager to put your hands all over him.

However, your mind was blanketed into a haze when he pulled down his briefs—soiled by a blotch of his precum—allotting you with an unhindered view of his cock standing to attention. Shouto lowly chuckled, noticing the speechless expression taking over your face. His hand wholly stroked his stout manhood.

“Like what you see, baby?”

Your response is reduced to a quick nod, still dumbstruck by the length of his dick and generous girth when knowing he was soon to be inside you in mere moments. Shouto took his position in front of you again. He spread you out with as much room as the green couch of the common room could offer you two. You kept resonating out whimpers from your lips, and he reveled in those sounds while preparing to align himself to your entrance, his eyes fogged with unrivaled yearning for you. To say he’s dreamt of this day—where you’re hot, needy, and naked in the wake of his lustful desires—would be an understatement. No kind of imagination could beat the real thing, with the genuine noises you produced and the way your slick felt against the head of cock as he slowly pushed himself forward. Watching each inch of his dick gradually slide inside and experiencing the tightness of him and his love coming together did many things to him. The sensation was beyond incredible.

“Mm! Fuck!” you cried out in a whisper of a yell, immediately anchoring yourself by wrapping your arms around him when he lowered his upper-body to you. The stretch of his girth induced a pleasurable burn in your stomach that threatened to seize your entire being.

“Argh… Love, I’m right here— Fuck, you’re so tight—” he cursed at your warmth firmly enveloping his cock, struggling not to let the heat of the moment devour his reasoning and just plow away at your body. No, he needed to go slow and not hurt you, let you adjust to his size. Thankfully the wetness simulated when he ate you out aided the process, and soon his entire length was sheathed inside you.

You laid there trembling over the deep sensation, but the pain managed to diffuse quickly. “I-It’s OK… I’m alright now,” you murmured to him, the circles he rubbed into your skin soothing a bit of the tension harrowed in your body. You tilted your head so your lips were sheer centimeters from his ear, whispering out in a soft, heady tone that was breaking his rationale.

“Please fuck me.”

That was all he needed to begin his hard succession of thrusts. His cock felt along all the crevices of your walls. He grunted out praises and affections for you in between each drive into your core. Fuck, every part of you was like heaven and he wanted—no—needed to indulge in all you could give him. You struggled to find your words, voice hoarse and diminished to frail moans that he heard every trace of from the proximity between you, practically instilling the harmonies into his mind.

“I love you, Y/n, fuck I love you so much.” His bewitching utterances spilled from his lips without a second thought for all he’s thinking about is you.

“You were always the light that— ah— guided me... Always the one I could come to…” His thrusts continued relentlessly even as he bent toward your neck to meld his mouth on it for a second. “You were always the one, Y/n. It was always you.”

At all his love rained down upon you, your grip on his body grew tighter while you attempted to muster out some coherent words, despite each deep impulse of his cock making you envision stars.

“Mm, ah, l-love you too— Mmph—” You cut off with a scream that was luckily muted by Shouto joining his mouth to yours the moment he reached your pleasurable spongy area again. He continued his onslaught in that spot, knowing it was the erogenous zone in your body that made you writhe and shriek for him. White began to shroud your sight every time he pounded there. It wouldn’t be long until the simmer you built to a boil would be ready to burst again, your pussy starting to clench around his length desperately.

“Shouto, I’m gonna c-cum..!”

“Fuck, me too,” he replied to your frantic pleas and savored the sting of your nails raked down his back, tightening his hold on your spread legs. “Together, baby. Cum with me.”

With you both teetered toward the edge of release, he began pistoning his hips forward at an unbridled pace, the smack of your skins echoing so vividly in the space. Spit gathered in the back of your throat as Shouto did his very best to snatch every mewl and moan resounding from your lips. The noises vibrated across his tongue while he groaned back, thrusting forward in each succession. Eventually, the final scream tore from your throat, ripping into his mouth. Your body convulsed in a fit of overwhelming pleasure across every nerve and your intense orgasm was the catalyst he needed to cum.

In a single deep, quick thrust following your peak, his climax surged through him, and he came undone. A low grunt reverberated in him as he buried himself in you and coated your walls in hot spurts of white, the lip-lock remaining fervent throughout his orgasm and his hand seeking yours at the last minute to twine together in love and passion.

Through the whirlwind of your fucking, the candle on the coffee table eventually blew itself out while you both came down from your highs with ragged breaths and sweaty bodies. Shouto lovingly kissed your temple, caressing down your sides in calming motions. You returned the gesture by pecking his chest and rubbing the muscles of his broad back. The two of you simply laid there, tangled together, basked in the glow from the intensity, with nothing but the glimmering moonlight descending your naked bodies.

“Mm, Shouto?” your voice is only a hushed murmur in the tranquil atmosphere.

“What is it, love?” His caring touch did not cease when he whispered a question back, eyes pinpointing your own despite the darkness.

“As much as I just want to lay here and cuddle with you, we can’t stay here mister,” you admonished, thankful that you recalled where you were before you ended up drifting off into sleep on this couch. It would be an absolute nightmare had you awoke the next morning from the screams of your classmates at the sight of you both naked.

He let out a deep chuckle, likely conjuring the same thought as you though not acting nearly as frantic as he should be. He lifted his upper body off the cushions. “Shall we go to my room then?”

You nodded. At that you both gathered your clothes that were thrown carelessly in heaps on the floor and got dressed. You made sure no suspicious traces of you remained, then silently took to the elevators to ascend to the fifth floor.

It’s in the confines of Shouto’s room that you reunited your bodies again underneath the comfortable blankets of his futon. His left side provided just the right amount of warmth to lull your nerves. You relished in his particular musky scent with him so close and being surrounded by all his familiarities, cuddling into him.

Perceiving the rhythm of your even breaths against him imbued Shouto with a sense of peace. He couldn’t help but pull you toward him to softly kiss your forehead. At the tickling sensation, you giggled and exchanged a delicate kiss of your own on his jawline. For a brief period of time, that calming silence you two were far too familiar with enveloped the mood as you wordlessly traded placid touches across each other’s arms and backs. Ultimately, the quiet is interrupted when you speak up.

“Are you.. still scared about the future?” You brought back the query that set off the steamy chain of events. Shouto didn’t speak for a moment, inhaling a breath until you indicated his resolution through his hold on you growing stronger.

“No. No, I’m not scared,” he told you, continuing without a single hint of uncertainty in his voice, “Because even when we move onto the future, we’ll find each other again. You’re my light, Y/n, and I’ll always come back to you.”

At his conviction, you finally let the weight of those harrowing notions lift themselves from your body that night, letting you sleep soundlessly in the arms of the man you loved.

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