i would kill a man for a panera supercharged lemonade rn. i would.
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So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this
Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.
So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"
It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead
Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.
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I put way too much effort into this ( based on this meme, it wouldn’t leave me alone until it was drawn — I am freee )
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big brother part 12
there are some weird things going on in the gotham sewer systems
edit: OMG NOT THE ALM
IT DOESNT MEAN ALL LIVES MATTER ITS JUST A RANDOM THIBG I WROTE. I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL ITS TOO LATE
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Jason being a "tall" guy even in the universes where he didn't get dunked in the pit, the difference is that a Jason who got Lazarus's skin care treatment is usually 6'6, the versions of him who don't are usually 5'6 to 6'0.
Batman, who accidentally entered a alternate dimension, seeing a version of Jason who's not towering over him and not as large as a Kardashian's fridge: You're not my baby.
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Jason: I’m evil. I tried to kill Tim. I’ve almost killed him!
Damian: yeah we all have 🙄
Tim: wow
Dick: bro we’ve all almost killed each other. That’s just being brothers 🤷🏻♀️
Jason: you never tried to kill anyone
Dick: do you remember the trampoline when you were Robin?
Jason: nooo…
Dick: exactly. Alfred said the amnesia was going to be permanent.
Jason: wait, we never even had a trampoline.
Dick: no Bruce burned it.
Jason:… what did you do? Dick? What did you do to me???
Dick: nothing you can prove (walks away)
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