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jlawbenn · 2 months

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50 things about me / intro challenge that I’m currently making up as I go along anyway welcome to my blog! Now how do I pin this post

1. My name is Jordanah, preferred pronunciation is Ordanah and my most common nicknames are Danah and Jordan

2. My pronouns are she/her/hers, the gender I was assigned with at birth.

3. I’m in my mid twenties and have an insane amount of kids a number so peculiar it always blows people’s minds!!!

4. I was born in Texas US but my mother was Croatian Yugoslavian born and raised and I spent most of my childhood living between Croatia, Scotland and Germany. My father was a Slovene-Jew, and my mother’s side somehow also have Lebanese roots.

4. My mother had her first child at age 14 and I had mine at 15!

5. I’ve been married and divorced more than once 😬

6. This list started off exciting and now I’m depressed

7. @fazcinatingblog is my bestttt friend and it’s only through Alex Fasolo and Jordan Roughead that we met!!!

8. I am a massive Carlton fan with a 6 or 7 year membership and have attempted to raise my children Carlton (and failed.) Any family members of mine that came over from Europe (my brother’s family namely) are Bulldog supporters. However I also hold a Collingwood membership, Geelong membership and Essendon membership for my children.

9. Teams my crazy kids’ support are Geelong, Collingwood, Carlton, St Kilda/Hawthorn (he’s v confused), Melbourne/Norf Melbourne (guess his fav city), and Essendon.

10. I am always carrying some sort of injury and it’s always usually done in the most stupid of ways. My most recent injuries are; broken ribs at Collingwood premiership, broken rib, finger and concussion at opening round in Sydney, sore shoulder from tripping down a step and banging into the ladder.

11. I have a diploma in hairdressing, a certificate in business, a certificate in youth work (with a v keen interest towards social/case work), enrolled in a diploma of education and am really interested in becoming a teacher one day when my kids are a bit older!

12. I have tattoos

13. I have piercings but I never wear them anymore so do I really have piercings?

14. I was loving this list but now I’m over it

15. I go for the Proteas / South Africa in test cricket and Melbourne Renegades in BBL.

16. My NBA team is probably the Dallas Mavericks

17. I love Taylor Swift, The Beatles, 5sos, Doja Cat and Little Mix just to name a few

18. I’m hungry

19. I have this condition where I can make any bone in my body loudly crack and I’m double jointed, I freak a lot of people out. I can be sitting and put my foot over my head behind my neck! Yeah I probably have that Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

20. I hate airports, like passionately, and I will become an absolute ratbag in them

21. I have really severe ADHD combined and I cannot. Sit. Still. And I’m super impatient and just don’t have the ability to wait.

22. I have a severe math’s disability called dyscalculia. I can hardly do basic addition and the rest may as well be in Irish

23. My favourite AFL players are Charlie Curnow, Jack Carroll, Jordan Boyd, Tom De Koning, but right now I’m in a bit of a personal depression slump so that’s it, I just don’t feel much enjoyment around the footy lately.

24. I will jump on my best friend when my team wins if I’m at the game

25. I’m perfectly fine with Irish people, but I feel like none of them like me? There’s been several instances. I’ll name two. I was at the pub with my best friend watching the footy last year and the Irish group at the table just started attacking me for sitting there and even blocked off my seat, but they were fine to my friend? And neither of us had said anything to them? And on the other occasion I was dropping my daughter off at school and an Irish teacher yelled at me because she thought I was a high school student and wanted me to get to campus. I mean. Honestly.

26. I have an older brother who is 1. an idiot and 2. Has worked at many different AFL clubs in Victoria doing physiological stuff and worked at the HFC shop (and hated it)

27. I am really partial with the weather - if it’s freezing I absolutely love it but if its anything over 17 degrees I hate it and will complain non stop

28. I have had my gallbladder and spleen removed, and now my abdomen is not only covered in a horrid cesarean scar but surgery scars.

29. I had a massive Linkin Park obsession and dyed my naturally blonde hair black and in contrast to my blonde eyebrows I looked like I had none.

30. I’ve had cancer and so have my daughters.

31. My kids’ favourite footballers are Sam De Koning, Darcy Moore, Charlie Curnow, Jordan De Goey (we’ll sort her out), Jack Ginnivan, Luke Uniake Davies I think, Josh Dunkley

32. I have a G Flip song stuck in my head and it’s not even my favourite one

33. I’ve met G Flip!!! Laura and I sat in a corporate suite with her last year for Hawthorn V Collingwood and bloody hawthorn won

34. I attended the 2023 grand final at 9 months pregnant (technically overdue, I’m nuts honestly) and nearly killed myself

35. I have video footage of me nearly falling to my death at said game

36. I’m absolutely terrified of feathers, birds, metal spoons, lightning, dogs (including the western kind), adelaide football club and anything bigger than me that can crush me to death. And escalators

37. I’ve done my ACL before and it was really stupid

38. I wish the new season of Stranger Things would hurry TF up because it’s my fav show

39. I absolutely cannot stand Dale Thomas and accidentally started an online war once because I voiced my opinion

40. Not trying to compare anyone here but my favourite AFL wags are Natalie Docherty, Annalise Dalins, Chloe Geraerts, Bella Rendell and Demi Duncan.

41. My brother’s best mate is someone on the Collingwood AFLM’s team. We see them very often.

42. I love writing, I write really long, tedious, painful shit fanfics on Wattpad just for the fun of it and Laura always tells me off for putting the characters in death defying situations. My fanfics all base mainly around a main character and not so much the sportsmen. My username is the same as it is on here!

43. I think I’m a really terrible artist and that my 9 year old is the best but everyone says I can draw Darcy Moore really well.

44. I could not speak one word of English until the age of 9 and even then it was very broken

45. In school I passed Italian with A+’s and several high distinctions. I failed English with F’s and D’s constantly.

46. I hated high school and once, the sickbay nurse screwed up my file with another student’s and I had a massive allergic reaction to the pill they’d given me (I told them I didn’t take pills) lol that’s how they found out I had anaphylaxis

47. I went to primary school with a former Hawthorn player and he’s an asshole lol, he’s at another team now and my daughter isn’t happy about it

48. My favourite food is margerita pizza with no basil. My favourite drink is Shiraz.

49. I’m happy because there’s only one more thing!

50. Free Palestine 🇵🇸

51. Bonus fact, I love the F1 and Max Verstappen is my favourite driver, then George Russel. Don’t even get me started on Ferrari because I cannot stand them.

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ocpdzim · 1 year

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anyway. banging pots and pans together.

IF YOU NEED WORK AND ARE OK WITH KIDS. GOOGLE UR DISTRICT’S REQUIREMENTS AND PAY FOR SUBSTITUTE TEACHING.

there is a HUGE need for substitute teachers right now, and unlike most jobs which claim they need workers so bad but then don’t hire you, they’re very serious about it when they say they are hiring whoever, at least in my district. i was hired almost immediately w no interview or anything. so was everyone else i know who applied.

depending on the district, requirements for substitute teaching vary, but in some districts you only need a high school diploma. in my district you need some college credits but not a degree.

to my understanding from talking to other subs from around the US, pay and benefits are highly variable depending on the district. mine pays ~$14/hour for most schools, but ~$17/hour for middle schools. from other subs from other districts, the highest hourly pay i have heard of was $34/hour and the lowest was $8/hour, so depending on your district it might be either a great paying job or a really shitty paying job. some districts, like mine, also offer full healthcare benefits including dental and vision, even though it is a part time job.

the best thing about substitute teaching is you get to choose which schools you work at and when. once again the exact details of this vary, but i am allowed to work anywhere between 4 days a month to full time. i can accept sub jobs months ahead of time or in the morning right before i leave to go to them or any time in between, whichever i prefer. i can choose whichever schools i want for this. if i go to one and it sucks i just don’t go back there any more.

worried you don’t have the skills? listen. if you have the very basic skill of “don’t be a dick to children,” you are already ahead of a lot of people in the field, and the kids and the rest of the school’s faculty WILL benefit from having you in the room instead of either someone who is mean to them or nobody at all. the sub shortage is so bad right now and it causes chaos in classrooms when there is no sub to cover an absence - teachers lose their planning periods, students are shoved into other classes than their usual one, it’s a big mess. i went on the job assignment website just now and you know how many classes in my district alone need a sub tomorrow and do not have one? 124. there will be more by morning. if i felt like working tomorrow, i would have my pick of these. if i wake up and decide last minute that i feel like working, i can.

not only that, while it isn’t guaranteed (since some schools will put you on lunch duty or have you cover a different class), most of the time you will get a Long Paid Break when substitute teaching. this is because teachers have a planning period at some point during the day. it’s like an hour long most of the time, but i’ve been to schools before where it was literally 3 hours long. for teachers this is not a break bc as the name implies they are planning their lessons and grading papers during this time, but if you’re a substitute, you aren’t doing that stuff. if you are really lucky this will be the last period of the day and when that happens the school will sometimes just let you go home. i still get paid for the full day when this happens.

substitute teaching is a job where you can make a real positive difference in your community, you pick your own hours and the location you work at, and a significant chunk of the time people at work are very appreciative of your presence and nice to you. sometimes a child will even draw a picture for you which is the cutest thing ever. like. i cannot recommend it highly enough. if you need a job and have at least a high school diploma Google It Right Now And Check If You Qualify.

#kids CLAP AND CHEER when they see me sometimes. it doesnt get better than that #also pro tip. if you do substitute teach. keep an eye out for school librarian jobs those are the best #different class every hour so if one misbehaves they arent there long. more breaks than most jobs. You Are In A Library. it rules

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gothwizardmagic · 1 year

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lots of homeschooling lore in your tags these days LMAO would you mind sharing a bit about how that works? genuinely curious

lmao sure tho it isnt the most exciting story

my mum always wanted to homeschool bc she wasnt a fan of how restrictive school curriculums are (shes v much an advocate for montessori style child-directed learning) but i wanted to go to school Like The Kids On TV so she let me. i spent about 3 years at primary school where i was the classroom punching bag THE ENTIRE TIME. highlights include being pushed down a flight of stairs IN FRONT OF A TEACHER WHO DID NOTHING, another teacher punishing me for being better at maths than my classmates bc i kept tearing through her worksheets too fast (i cant do maths for shit anymore she scared it out of me) and a "friend" of mine's brother getting his hands on the axe they had for firewood and chasing me around while i was over on a "playdate" (these quotes are bc this girl was in fact horrendous to me)

i was actively suicidal by the time i was 8 and my mum just stopped even trying to take me to school at that point (around the time i started throwing up with fear every morning) and after a lot of VERY angry meetings the best the school would do was an anti bullying assembly, which meant everyone knew i had tattled. my mum was fucking furious about all of this & went ahead with the homeschooling application she had halted when i decided i wanted to go to school. the guidelines at the time (im not sure what they are these days) were just that a child had to be educated "as regularly and as well" as they would be in school, with check-ins from the MoE every few years.

i dont remember how long it took the application to go through but yea after that i was homeschooled. my mum bought up a shitload of textbooks and workbooks and drew up lesson plans but her focus was still on student-directed learning so as my interests developed in various areas that was where the focus went. we did have designated sit-down time every day, but for the most part she would give me resources and assignments/goals and let me go hog wild at whatever my current fascinations were with some guidance and oversight along the way. it did mean losing access to anything that required specific facilities - i dont know shit about chemistry bc we didnt have like. a lab lmao. but yea by the time i was 11 i was on to university textbooks for some subjects (this is not a big flex these were early 00s computer science textbooks the first lesson in cs101 was literally "this is called an on button. this is called a mouse.") and by the time i was 16 we were doing uni-level work in pretty much every subject i was interested in, at the expense of subjects i didnt give a shit about. (i do not know fuck shit about like. geography or maths to this day)

the assessments were pretty chill, govt people would basically just take a few random samples of my work to look over and do a lil interview with me to make sure i was learning shit. for socialisation my parents made sure i did plenty of after school activities (dance, swimming, scouting, drama, conservation club, etc) and my dad took us on trips to like. the museum or nature reserves or whatever every weekend for Enrichment.

once i was 15/16 we started looking into uni entry, but the rules had changed since i started homeschooling. when i started there was a single uni entry exam you had to sit at sixth form and that was that. they replaced it when i was. 12-ish i think with the current system, which involves a complicated nightmare of three years of both internal (classwork) and external (exam) credits and the requirements are nebulous and seem to change year to year and basically it sucks shit and every single assignment from fifth form onwards counts towards your uni entry so its massively high stress. this also means you CANT get uni entry as a homeschooler, because theres no way to get those internal credits. we tried a few different routes to get UE but the best option we were given was one high school offered to let me sit fifth, sixth, and seventh form all at the same time in one year to get my credits. this was Unideal because the whole point was to Not go to high school, it was work i had already done and didnt wanna do again, and it was three years worht of work crammed into one. so i never got uni entry and have basically been bumming around since.

UE problems aside, homeschooling worked really well for my family. my mum is disabled so she was home all the time anyway. both of my parents are highly educated so they had the backgrounds to provide a cohesive and varied curriculum, and my sister and i are both neurodivergent so the one on one attention and flexibility in format was ENORMOUSLY helpful for us. my sister has never been to any kind of mainstream schooling and it would have been absolute hell if she had tried. (shes very severely dyslexic and schools in the early 00s were. not set up to help with that)

so yea thats the homeschooling lore - i missed out on a lot of stuff for sure (met one of my exes entirely beecuase i wanted to go to formal SO FUCKING BAD and my only option was to go to someone else's so a mutual friend set us up so i could go with her lmao) but it took me out of an extremely bad situation and gave me an education that was much better suited to my own learning needs. i know homeschooling has a Certain Reputation, especially in the us, but my experience was wholly unrelated to that side of the homeschooling community, and it was unbelievably beneficial to me. looking back i dont regret the time i spent in mainstream school (i met my best friend there and i literally dont know where i would be without them weve been through the fucking fire and back) but homeschooling was the healthiest thing possible for me and my family and im so so so grateful my parents were able to do that for me

#Anonymous #sorry this is so long and rambly lmao #its weird to talk about because it was just normal day to day stuff for me so like #idk whats even relevant to discuss haha #''what should our learning goals this week be?''#''uhhhhh i wanna study lizards''#''fuck yeah lizard week lets gooooooooooo''#''ok by friday i want an essay on lizard facts and finish five pages of your japanese workbook''#''tomorrow we'll work through the english textbook together and get some lizard books from the library for your essay''#like it was more in depth than that obviously but that was the vibe

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wannabe-fic-writer · 4 years

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Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Priority

Summary: Your wife keeps letting you down and as much as you love her, you’re sick of it.

Warning: Bit of Angst

Word Count: 1,975

*******

She‘s late, again, and from the looks of time she won’t make it at all. She’d left you to do this alone, again. Not that you’re surprised.

The loud sound of metal smacking against compact rubber pulls you from your thoughts.

Looking up, a smile lights across your face as your son drops his bat and takes off. The other little boys scramble to get the ball to the plates but he’s extremely quick. He’s stepping over the home plate in no time.

You rise to your feet, clapping and cheering for him. It grabs his attention and he smiles and waves excitedly at you. Only to deflate instantly at the empty space beside you.

She promised him she’d be here and she let you down again. More importantly she let him down.

Like most things, the game comes to an end. It’s Little Leagues Tee Ball so they aren’t big on “winners” and “losers” but your son’s team won.

Damien excitedly runs up to you, Nathaniel not too far behind him.

“Momma did you see how fast I ran?” He bounces up and down.

With a wide smile, you scoop him up into your arms,“ you were so fast sweetie.”

Clint walks up, Damien’s and Nathaniel’s bags on his shoulders.

“What about me? Did I run fast Auntie Y/N?” Nathaniel asks, holding on to Laura’s hand tightly.

You turn your smile to your nephew,“ of course you did. You two are gonna give the Yankees a run for their money.”

“I think you guy’s big win deserves ice cream.”

The boys cheer, Lila and Cooper smiling in agreement.

All of you head to the cars, the Barton’s get in Laura’s van while you and Damien get in your truck.

Riding over to the closest ice cream shop is only a couple of minutes. Clint says it’s his treat and pays after everyone chooses their ice cream.

You all walk across the street to the park, sitting at a picnic table as you eat your ice cream.

Conversations flow between the group, Nathaniel and Damien talking about Tee Ball, Clint and Lila talk about archery, Cooper plays on his switch, and you and Laura talk about your kids.

The second Clint and the kids finish they run off to play on the playscape and the conversation turns to your partners, but you don’t contribute much.

Laura, knowing why you’re detached from this particular topic, places a comforting hand over yours,“ I know how frustrating it can be not having her around often.”

“I would completely understand if it couldn’t be helped but,” You sigh and shake your head,“ at this point it’s like she’s choosing not to be here for him.”

“Just give her some time.”

Uncontrollably a scoff falls from your lips,“ time? He’s five. And it’s not like I made this decision on my own. We both wanted kids, I didn’t just pop up pregnant one day and expect her to accept it.”

Laura nods along.

“And the excuses.” You roll your eyes,“ Damien buys it because he’s a child and he trusts his mom but, she turns around and tries to pull it on me like I can’t see through her crap.”

Your friends listens intently to your ranting. Waiting a few minutes after you’re done before replying.

“I can’t say I completely understand because with Clint, even though he was invested to his job, kind of snapped into his role as a father. We knew he was devoted to us despite the days and months he spent away.”

Narrowed e/c eyes respond to her words,“ is this supposed to make me feel better?”

She chuckles, shaking her head,“ yes and no. My point is that Clint and Natasha are different. Clint lost his parents when he was young but before that his mom gave him the love and care a child should have, despite his father’s actions.”

You nod, knowing what she’s talking about. Clint had opened up to you years after you were assigned as his partner at S.H.I.E.L.D. You were very open with him from the beginning, even about the horrible relationship you had with your homophobic parents.

In the end your honesty with him is what lead him to trust you and open up about his father’s addiction to alcohol and his abuse towards Clint.

From then on the two of you were very close. Going from two to three when you both brought Natasha in.

Laura continues explaining,“ it’s no secret that Natasha didn’t have that. I only know bits and pieces and that alone tells me that this, a marriage, a family, it’s probably very difficult for her.”

You know she’s right. Natasha’s had a rough bringing up and you don’t doubt that that’s affected her but that doesn’t change the fact that she made a promise to you and ultimately this family to be there for you and she’s breaking that promise.

As the sun starts to set you all decide to leave the park, stopping to get pizza and then going your separate ways to home.

Opening the door to your home you find Natasha sitting in the living room.

Damien runs over to her, happy to see her and asking where she was. As usual she tells him she was on a mission and that alone draws the boys childish curiosity and inquisitiveness into.

Not wanting to hear this, you set the pizza down on the coffee table and walk away.

It’s a while before she follows in after you, mentioning that he fell asleep and she put him to bed.

“A mission, huh?” You say after a moment.“ How many times are you going to use that excuse with him Natasha? He doesn’t get it now but eventually he’ll know you’re lying to him.”

Your wife shakes her head,“ I’m not lying, I was on a mission.”

“Eh wrong! Try again.”

Green eyes roll when you make the sound,“ I really was on a mission and I just got back.”

“Maybe you’re forgetting I work there too. Steve told me you’d finished the mission late last night and was just at the compound. So save the lie I’m genuinely not interested.”

Natasha’s body slumps, defeat and regret twisting around her bones and filling her with guilt.

“Y/N, I’m sorry okay I just-“

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to. It was Damien hopping you’d show up. He searched the stands for you when he didn’t see you with me.”

The guilt multiplied as well as the hurt. She didn’t miss the implication of your words: you’d started to give up on her, you didn’t expect her to be there today.

You run a hand through your hair,“ just go make things right with our son.”

With that you go to your room and collapse on the bed. Taking a deep breath, you quickly change into your pajamas, and go straight to sleep.

Hours later, you wake up on your own as opposed to the usual shrill of your alarm. Half asleep you check the time on your phone, it reading 7:15. You’re just about to go back to sleep before you realize what that means.

Knowing you have to get Damien to school by 8:30, you jump up, rushing to pull on some clothes and wash up.

As you’re basically stumbling down the stairs you’re hit with the familiar smell of fresh coffee and bacon.

Moving into the kitchen reveals Damien sitting at the table, talking through a mouth of pancakes to your wife. Natasha leans beside the stove, clad in black sweatpants and a t-shirt, sipping from a mug.

“Momma look, mom made pancakes!” Damien exclaims, holding up his half empty plate of food.

You move in further, eyes falling to the empty spot at the table. A plate of pancakes and bacon sits beside a mug of hot coffee. A blue sticky note is on the mug, ‘I Love You ;)’ in your wife’s handwriting on it.

“Damien, sweetie go get dressed, you don’t want to be late.”

Being the obedient angel that he is, he jumps up and runs off to get ready for school.

Natasha watches you as you run your finger along the edge of the white porcelain plate. Then slicing your fork into the pancakes and tasting it.

“Pretty good. Where’d you learn to cook?” You have an upset and snarky comment on reserve but push it aside.

“I called Laura and she walked me through it. Damien likes them.”

You nod.

Sighing, Natasha sets her mug down, cautiously approaching you.“ Y/N, I’m sorry. I love you and Damien more than I can ever express with words And I-” She steps around you to lock her gaze with yours,“ I know I’ve let you and Damien down and I will do everything I can to make it up to the both of you.”

“Tasha.” You run a hand through your hair.“ I just don’t understand why? You are avidly making the choice to bail on us.”

“Because I’m scared Y/N. When Damien was born I thought I could do this despite everything I’ve ever known but I see him and the way you are with him and that’s how a mother is supposed to be with their child and I can’t be that. I’m not a mother.”

It breaks your heart to hear that that’s how she feels. Only for it to break further at the tears that pool in her eyes.

You reach for her hands, quick to reassure her,“ but you are a mother Natasha. And Damien loves you more than anything in this world. You were so good with him, the problem came when you stopped showing up. All he wants is your love and attention.”

Reaching up you wipe away the escaping tears.

“I know it can’t be easy for you. Coming up the way that you did I know this is all new to you but it is for me too. In a different way yes but still, we’re both learning. I just- I need you Natasha. This isn’t easy alone and whether you’re ready or not you made a promise to us to be here.”

Natasha’s green eyes flicker away from you at that,“ I’m so sorry. I’ve been acting incredibly selfish.”

Little, shoe clad feet, connecting with the floor breaks the conversation. Damien rounds the corner, dressed and holding his backpack.

“Moms I’m ready.” He says with a bright smile, a mix of yours and Natasha’s.

You squeeze Natasha’s hand in yours, a promise to finish later.

Together you take your son to school. Damien kissing your cheek before asking Natasha if he’ll be with you to pick him up.

She promises to and you make sure he gets in the school safely before going back home.

You fix two cups of tea and join your wife in the living room.

Sitting side by side, thighs and shoulders pressed together, you both wait for the other to restart the conversation.

“You’re a good mother Natasha. Damien adores you. And neither of us expect you to be perfect at this. Believe me I’ve made plenty of mistakes already. If he’s screwed up it’s my fault, not yours.” You partly joke.

Natasha grabs your hand, fingers lacing with yours,“ I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to you and be here for you and our son. And I’m sorry I’ve made you feel so alone in this.”

“You’re forgiven my love,” you kiss the back of her hand,“ and we’ll figure this out together.” You joke,“ and Laura.”

She laughs, fully pulling you into her embrace. After she sobers up she kisses your head.

“I promise from here on out you two are my main priority.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow x reader #black widow #marvel x reader #marvel #mcu x reader #mcu #reader insert

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jinxedpanda4life · 3 years

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DamiRae Hospital AU?

No I am not writing one, if I could write well I would though! So here are some HCs for a hospital AU. If someone decides to write this then I’ll be your first reader. Also I am sort of basing things off of Grey’s Anatomy just a bit and my limited knowledge of the medical field.

- Starts of as 1st year residents, specialties may vary

- The “Titans” are residents and 1st years that show great promise, this doesn’t really play a role its just what people call them behind their backs

- Dr. Kori Anders is a OBGYN (women parts and birth) resident, a year or two away from finishing

- Dr. Richard “Dick” Grayson is is a surgery resident, trained by the hospital owner Bruce Wayne (who is a world renowned surgeon, has awards, etc), specifically general surgery

- Dr. Garfield Logan is pediatrician (kid doctor) res, bonds well with kids, but is considering going back to school to become a vet instead

- Dr. Jaime Reyes is an oncology (cancer doctor), having had cancer as a teen and is now forever trying to rid the world of it, works mostly with kids and teens

- Dr. Jonathan Kent is a physical therapist that works with pain management. Up beat guy and is always trying to brighten his patient’s lives.

- Dr. Damian Wayne is a surgical intern, blood thirsty little thing, hoping to become a neurosurgeon (brain, spine) (or cardiothoracic (heart, lungs) both are competitive)

- Dr. Raven Roth is an anesthesiologist (the drug person that knocks you out) and is starting her surgical internship (she wanted to do more than just help people get high essentially or whatever) has no current preference for any specific surgical field

- Add in characters:

-- Dr. Jason Todd, trauma surgeon (fits too well)

-- Dr. Timothy Drake diagnostician (medical detective basically)

-- Dr. Donna Troy gynecologist

-- Terra Markov is a nurse (i don’t like Terra but nurses are the actual best)

- Story stuff:

- Damian and Raven meet as they are put under the guidance of the same resident

-Damian has an automatic dislike for Raven because she knows everyone already and is equally, if not much more, knowledgable about surgery, the OR, the ER, protocol, etc He also thinks she is cold because she rarely shows emotion (pot kettle Damian)

- Raven can always be found in the medical archives researching old cases and studying new ones, Damian stumbles upon her when looking for an old cardiomegaly case (enlarged heart).

- Raven gets along with all of the past ‘Robins’ making her a go to intern

- Garfield can be seen whenever he is not needed trying to flirt with Nurse Markov and often goes to Raven to sulk

- Damian and Raven are always early to pre-rounds and are typically the first ones there (usually early in the morning, getting there before 500)

- Jon bumps into Damian more often than not and they start becoming friends (Damian is reluctant at first and is still you know Damian about everything), Damian even recommends patients to him

- Though Damian doesn’t want to really ‘hang out’ with anyone he reluctantly hangs out with the Titans, because of Jon and Dick

- When in a large group when at a bar, club or whatever Damian tends to stay close to Raven because 1) they actually have things to talk about 2) she isn’t loud

- Raven & Damian are both assigned to a case that is frankly befuddling and have to start spending long nights and early mornings together to figure it out

- Over that period of time they learn things about each other:

-- Raven learns:

Damian has a dog (Titus) and cat (Alfred)

He is single (Kori told her) and lives in an apartment close to the hospital

He has lived in various countries

He is trained in multiple martial arts

He prefers his tea with brown sugar and a slice of lemon

His eyes are a true emerald color with a ring of gold and flecks scattered within

He may hide it well but when Raven compliments him he becomes flustered

He speaks to himself in Arabic when he curses, trying to remember something, doesn’t want anyone to know what he is saying

He isn’t always an asshole

When he actually smiles a true and genuine smile, she has heart palpitations

-- Damian learns:

Raven has two tattoos (neither are a bird), a gang tat (she is saving up to get it removed), and a mantra in Azarathian; Azarath Metrion Zinthos

She immigrated from Azarath when she was around 8

Her notes are in Azarathian

She actually feels a lot of emotion and knows how to control them

If she is not reading about a current or past case she is reading any book or file she can get her hands on, he has caught her reading in multiple different languages; Azarathian, English, French, Russian, Arabic, Dutch, Mandarin, (could be more or less)

She lives alone and has a cat, Nevermore, and thanks to Dick he already knew she was single

She likes all tea, no matter how prepared, but prefers the sweetener to be honey

Her hair is black but shines purple, especially under the ER lights

Her eyes are a purple that at first glance look blue, like Elizabeth Taylor, he realizes though her eyes are galaxies on their own

When she smiles the world actually stops moving, her eyes shine like stars and he never wants the world to start moving again

She always wears a necklace with a gold and ruby ring at all times (it was her mother’s wedding ring)

- When Damian starts having le feelings for Raven he considers actually seeking medical advice as this has never happened to him before

- Raven tries her best to contain her feelings when at work, going so far as one day a month staying home just to scream, cry and feel her feelings

- It does not help that new feelings towards Damian start popping up, especially since he starts bringing her tea and hanging out with her at work

- During the middle of their 2nd year of residency someone holds Raven hostage in the hospital to fix someone that person loves (this person had connections to Trigon and knew who Raven was)

- That was not a fun time for either Damian or Raven; Damian was outside the hospital pacing trying to figure something out with the other Titans trying to calm themselves and him down

- Shots are fired and when all is said and done, Raven gets shot in the abdomen and the hand (she was in ICU for a hot sec)

- Damian seemed to be there every time Raven woke up, he was always checking on her during rounds even though he wasn’t on her case

- Raven did have to have surgery on her hand and in her abdomen (idk where i’m not getting that specific), she hated being, in her words, coddled

- Even though Raven was right handed (the one that got shot) she learned how to do everything, writing, eating, going to the bathroom, etc. (many of the other residents are impressed since she keeps working on it after her other hand heals)

- Raven’s room also becomes a space for other residents to destress and just vent about their day. She listens and gives advice, all without looking up from whatever she was doing.

- During this time Raven becomes hooked on Pretty Pretty Pegasus

- Raven’s room is also full of cards, flowers, etc all from fellow staff and some from patients. When she leaves (she spends a couple weeks in thanks to multiple surgeries, recovery, and other minor injuries) all of the gifts litter her apartment, the cards end up in a box by her desk, she presses the flowers, and stuffed animals are donated to children’s shelter (she keeps some that she has grown attached to)

- During this time Damian is more of an ass than usual (people notice and tease him)

- Damian at some points keeps working without breaks/sleep for hours on end. Dick pulls him aside after noticing, scolds and forces him to sleep in one of the on call rooms. (He really wanted him to go home, but Damian wasn’t leaving)

- Once Raven was discharged Damian and Garfield help her back home (clothes + gifts + Raven w/a healing hand/other injuries = need help) the other Titans would have helped but were needed at the hospital

- Garfield leaves after dropping off Raven and Damian (and her stuff) as he is called in on a Peds case (could be fake, may not be) and Raven & Damian spend the rest of the time basically watching terrible movies. (with Nevermore sitting on both of them)

- That is the night Damian realizes that not only does he like Raven, but he like likes her. He starts devising plans on how to get her to date him.

- All his plans basically are thrown out the window because of one reason or another (he kept overthinking it)(poor guy)

- It is not until their 3rd year of residency that Raven realizes her feelings towards Damian (Have I made it clear she likes him? I can’t remember...)

- She realizes her feelings when she has to crash at his place for a night (because he lives ridiculously close to the hospital, like how expensive is that??) and he tries to make sure that she is as comfortable as possible

- She never realized how much he cared for her? Like she was always helping him out and there for him but she never realized he reciprocated that care? *Shocker*

- Raven becomes kind of a mess because of all her emotions that she is trying to bottle up. (all the corks are disintegrating and the jar is overflowing)

- Raven is during her Ortho rotation (bone surgeon people, they are cool, ik from experience) that she actually gets a good release for her emotions (setting peoples bones and drilling and hammering in pins is actually therapeutic)

- Raven thinks that may be the specialty she chooses

- Damian saw her as a mess and could not fathom why she was said mess, he figured it was about a romantic interest after someone made an offhand comment about her love life and she became a blubbering mess (very un-Raven like)

- After all of well *motions with hands* that Raven asks why Damian doesn’t have a s/o or someone

- He says there is only person that he has been meaning to ask out (looks pointedly at Raven)

- All Raven says is “Go for it.”

And that is where my HCs end. Now if anyone who happens upon this post decides to write a Medical AU with any of these please tag me, tell me, message me.

You do not have to give me credit, I just want to read it.

This took me a couple of days to write up, so if it is disjointed I apologize.

If anything needs to be corrected for any reason let me know!

I hope this fuels some imaginations!

-I may post more HC AU things if they come to mind, we will have to see.

#damirae #damian x raven #demonbirds #teen titans #raven #damian wayne #rachel roth #headcanon #medical au #au

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an-absolute-travesty · 3 years

Text

Secret Santa fic!

Heya @all-eternity it was me all along! I hope you enjoy this :) very much looking foward to actually being able to follow you after this without looking sketchy lmao

Also shoutout to my lovely beta reader @keepersandqueens as if I don’t talk about Salas enough here lol

Warnings: underage drinking, drinking in general, hangover, drugs/medication mention (not abused, basic over the counter stuff dw), mentions of vomit (not described)

Pairings: Kam, background marelinh, ex titz

About: Kam coffee shop college au

Word count: 5,205

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @cadence-talle @ruewen-and-rising @lemontarto @a-lonely-tatertot @clearlyvacksen @percabetn @sewersewersewercouch @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @enbies-and-felonies @blxckh0les42 @rainbowtay-11 @callas-starkflower-stew @impostertamsong @appalyneinstitute1 @stars-and-splendor @anna-without-an-e @mistythegenderqueermess @we-have-no-bananas-today @we-wont-dissapear @jadenightthewriter

Tam stumbled into his first 8 am class, anxiety making his heart feel like it was pounding out of his chest and stomach doing backflips.

If he could survive bouncing between foster homes, a short stint at juvie, and worst of all high school, he could survive college.

Well he thought he could until he saw a familiar person right next to the only available chair in the room.

God fucking damn it.

"Hey Bangs Boy!" Keefe waved him down, causing a scene. Tam had no option but to sit beside him, both because of the lack of chairs and the fact that everyone was now staring at him.

Not a great start.

"What a coincidence! I notice you still haven't taken my suggestions on your hair, I'm telling ya' you'd get all the girls and or guys and nonbinary pals with a man bun." Keefe looked smug at the fact he'd be able to taunt Tam for another semester, minimum. Tam was already making a mental note to check when he could swap out of classes.

"Keefe, if I knew you were going here I would've just gotten myself back in jail, oh wait, you were the one who got me in there in the first place." Tam shot him a look, praying that he'd suddenly develop superpowers and shoot lasers from his eyes.

"Hey, just because I came up with the idea...and helped with some of the execution, doesn't mean I'm responsible for you trashing your parents house. Besides, you were only in there for like 3 days max before you got out," Keefe said, shrugging as if 3 days in jail was no biggie.

"Most peaceful 3 days of my life," Tam sneered, turning back to the front of the room as the professor walked in.

"Good morning class!" the prof turned to the white board, writing his name. "I am Dr. Harding," he tapped it for emphasis.

The class was silent.

"And you say good mor..."

"Good morning Dr. Harding," The class said in unison, they all sounded tired and bored.

This wasn't going to be fun.

~*~

"Grande ice vanilla latte for...Hen-are-y?"

The man shot Keefe a look as he grabbed his coffee.

"Henry." He dropped a tip in the jar, fifty cents. How generous.

He had come in before, and never left good tips. Keefe made it a game to pronounce the names of anyone who wasn't a college student and left bad tips wrong, no matter how much they came in. It was a wonder he hadn't been fired yet.

As he turned preparing another drink, the bell at the top of the door rang. He ignored it at first until he heard a quiet, "Fuck," come from behind.

"Bangs boy!"

"Why are you here?"

"I work here obviously," Keefe walked up to the counter. "Now, what'll it be?"

Tam sighed. "Iced caramel macchiato with two extra shots of espresso."

"Size?"

"Venti."

Keefe whistled thinking about how much caffeine that was as he wrote down "Bangs Boy" on the cup.

"Alright, that'll be 5.75, may I ask why the insane amount of coffee? I believe I remember you saying caffeine makes you anxious in high school."

"Yes, but it also helps me focus, and I have a quiz tomorrow I haven't studied for."

"Fair enough," Keefe said, going to prepare the drink. "It'll be ready in five."

Tam nodded, walking off to the side and scrolling on his phone. Keefe made the drink, occasionally sneaking looks over at Tam. He didn't seem to notice, thank God.

Soon after, they finished the transaction.

"See you at class," Keefe said, he was trying to be genuine, but it came across more taunting.

Tam grimaced, muttered "Thanks for the coffee," and walked out the door.

~*~

The class fell silent as a disheveled Dr. Harding walked in, a pack of gatorade in one hand and bottle of tylenol in the other. He popped one as he sat down.

"Hello class it seems today I have the worst headache imaginable, just give me about 5 minutes of silence and we will go over your assignments."

Keefe leaned over to Tam's desk.

"Well, we know what he got into last night," he whispered. "Heard the bar on the corner of 5th was giving out two for ones for professors."

"Isn't that place run by the alumni?"

"Exactly. Gotta thank Alvar tomorrow, Fitz said it was his idea."

"Wait Fitz goes here too? Why did I not-"

"Boys!" Dr. Harding practically yelled. "I am tired of the racket." He put his face in his hands where his elbows rested on the desk, bald spot showing to the world.

"We were whispering!" Keefe made a 'what the hell' sort of gesture. Tam glared at him, hoping he could communicate 'I will kill you myself if you say another word' with just his eyes.

"Sencen, do I look like I care?"

Keefe winced a bit at the use of his last name. That was something Tam could understand.

"Look, boys," Dr. Harding stood up and turned to the chalkboard, writing something down. "If you all like talking so much, you'll love this next project."

He walked to the side, revealing the board, that read '10 page essay, due the 25th'

"With the person next to you, you'll be writing a 10 page essay on um...the importance of keeping your oil changed in your car. You'll then present it to the class. It's worth 25 points."

A student raised their hand.

"Luka?"

"Sir, I thought this was a psychology course?"

"It is. You are all excused."

With that, he left the room with his tylenol and gatorade in his arms. The students glared at Keefe and Tam as they all got up, muttering amongst themselves about the pure bullshittery of it all.

"So..." Keefe said, slowly standing. "Does the library tomorrow at 3 work? I have work until then, so it can't be any earlier."

"Yeah, sure." Tam promptly walked out of the classroom as fast as possible, he didn't know why but his anxiety was spiking. He tried to tell himself it was just because he was a useless gay that didn't know jackshit about cars, yeah, surely that was it.

Just a useless gay.

~*~

Tam waited at a table in the library, it was 3:05, Keefe was late.

He didn't know what else he expected from him, he always seemed to do stuff like this. At the same time, Tam didn't have the energy to be particularly mad at him. This was going to be the stupidest essay ever written in the history of man, might as well put it off.

The library door slammed open, and in came Keefe. He balanced a large stack of papers and books along with four drinks. He stumbled over to Tam and practically threw them down on the table.

"Sorry I'm late, I thought it would be nice to, like, get you a coffee, but I didn't know how much caffeine you wanted, so I got one decaf caramel macchiato, one normal, and one with an extra shot, and also hot chocolate for me."

He sat down in the chair by Tam, as if getting three different coffees for someone you were forced to do a project with was totally normal.

"Um...thanks, I-I can pay you back-"

"Don't worry about it." Keefe turned to him and smiled, bright and friendly. Tam was frozen. "Okay, now it's car time." Keefe turned back to the desk.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a while as they researched, Keefe going through his piles of papers and books and Tam on his laptop like any sane person would.

Tam finally worked up the nerve to talk.

"So um...this is out of nowhere, but I think you mentioned Fitz went here?"

"Oh, yeah." Keefe put down the absurdly large textbook that was set up in front of him. "He's my roommate, he uh thought it would be best not to tell you after everything, I guess."

"That's fine," Tam shrugged like he didn't care. "I'm over it."

He was, really. They only dated like 2 weeks, sure it ended with a...pretty big fight after Fitz claimed he wouldn't be able to date someone who had gone to jail and Tam reminded him it was his best friend that got him in there in the first place, but he was still over it. There was still something bothering him, nothing to do with Fitz himself but...something. He just couldn't put his finger on what.

"Alright, I'll take your word." Keefe shrugged, setting his giant book back up in front of him.

Tam felt the need to start talking again, but didn't. They were mostly silent for the next 40 minutes or so, just researching and the occasional word exchanged between them.

Keefe checked his phone.

"Shit," He got up. "Work emergency, I gotta go. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah that works."

"Chill, see ya' later."

"Bye."

Keefe waved (with a wide grin Tam would've called idiotic in high school) as he went out the door.

Tam found himself with a smile on his own face, he quickly stopped, hoping no one saw.

~*~

Keefe hurried into work, pulling his apron on as he saw the absurdly long line and a panicked Marella frantically making coffees behind the counter. She sighed with relief when she saw him.

"Thank God," She said as he stepped behind the counter with her. "There was a scheduling error, Forkle's useless at that stuff."

Mr. Forkle, their well-meaning but often mistaken manager, was out of town at the moment. The fate of the Starbucks rested on two college kids, what could go wrong.

And so they went, Keefe taking orders and Marella fulfilling them until there were no more to serve.

Marella, quite literally, threw in a towel she had wiped her face with. Promptly going to the back, presumably for her break. Keefe followed her.

"Alright, I think you can probably go back to whatever you were doing before this now if you'd like," said Marella, inspecting the small braids in her hair in the nearest shiny surface.

"Nah I was just doing a project with Tam for Harding's stupid class, he's probably left by now, I might as well rack up some overtime."

Marella turned back at him, clearly caught off guard at the name.

"Tam? As in my-girlfriend's-brother Tam? As in you-had-a-massive-crush-on-in-highschool Tam? As in dated-Fitz Tam? As in you-got-him-in-jail-"

"Yes! Yes! Why does everyone remind me of that, it was one time."

"When you get someone in jail, people tend to remember," Marella went silent for a second, thinking, before looking Keefe in the eye. "Wow, that must be awkward as hell, I mean seriously, if I were you I'd straight up file a restraining order just to avoid him. Maybe move to another country. I hear Estonia is lovely this time of year."

"Eh, it's not as bad as it seems. I mean it was awful at first, mostly because I tried to resume right where we left it on the taunting front, but I think it's ok now."

"Hm. Well good luck with that," Marella turned back to go to the front, but Keefe grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Uh, actually I need your advice on something. It has to do with Tam."

"Shoot."

"Well I was thinking of maybe, I don't know, asking him out or something? Look, yeah, it's an awful idea but is it 'he never wants to talk to me again' awful or 'he attempts to strangle me' awful?"

Marella looked him up and down, eyes uncomfortably cold, as usual.

"I mean, no hetero, but despite your annoying qualities you're a decent looking guy. Plus Tam's, like, super anxious according to Linh, so maybe he'll be too awkward to say no. You can probably squeeze at least one date in there."

"Wow, thanks Mare," Keefe mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I try. Also don't call me Mare."

"Alright Ella!" Keefe called as the front door's bell rang, signalling a new customer. Marella went off to take care of it, unable to respond she growled back at him.

~*~

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tam glared from across the table.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Keefe looked up, muttered a simple "Fidgety" and went right back to it, tapping his pen against the table. Tam said nothing more.

Keefe had been quiet for this entire meeting, something highly unusual for him.

"Ok, seriously dude, what's up? I haven't seen you this quiet literally ever."

He only seemed to get more fidgety at this question, his bouncing leg shaking the library table.

"I...um..." he looked down, running a hand through his hair "I have a test I need to cram for and no one to study with and keep me accountable. Y'know, ADHD issues."

Tam didn't overthink for once in his life but the moment the sentence was out of his mouth he regretted it.

"I have a test too, maybe we could study together?"

Keefe smiled his annoyingly charming smile.

"Sounds good."

"Good."

Tam quickly looked back down at his computer, trying to look like he was still doing car research when in actuality he was processing he just actively offered to spend more time with Keefe Sencen.

If Linh found out about this he'd never live it down.

He didn't think he cared.

~*~

Dr. Harding walked through the classroom door, clearly much less hungover than his last appearance.

The students waited, would they get an apology? Any sort of remorse?

"Alright, who wants to read first?"

Apparently not.

Keefe raised his hand with too much confidence for what their essay looked like. Tam gave him a confused look. He had his scheming face on, never good.

"Mr. Sencen!" Keefe winced at the use of his last name by the doctor. "What an amazing start, it's only appropriate. One of you boys come up and present."

Tam gave Keefe a look of 'do you want me to do it?' Keefe just smiled and got up from his chair. This would either be really good or really, really bad. Tam was all too familiar with the scheme face.

"Doc, I did depart from the source material a bit here, hope you don't mind. And I use 'I' because Tam had no involvement in this, he deserves full points for his essay."

Keefe cleared his throat, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Doctor Harding deserves to get fired: an essay. (And it's only been a week!) Paragraph one, his drinking problem-"

"Sencen! Back to your seat now. I will see you after class, or I will not see you in my next class, understand?"

Keefe gave a thumbs up as he sat back on his chair with a thud.

A few minutes later, in the middle of another student's essay, he passed Tam a note with his loopy handwriting.

"The amount of comebacks I had for 'see me after class' is absurd but if I get kicked out there's no way Elwin is helping me pay tuition a second time."

Tam tried not to smile, certainly failing, as he wrote his response.

"Yeah I think the time you talked back to Miss Cadence she wanted to expel you. Lucky Principal Alina had a thing for pseudo-dad Alden."

"Oh God I haven't talked to him in a whiiiiiile."

"?"

"You haven't heard? Yeah, he sorta found out like ALL his kids were ell gee bee tees and freaked out. Della found herself a new gf though!"

"Sounds like a lovely extra punch in the gut for a queerphobe."

"Yep. Honestly I recommend looking through his Facebook sometime. Just a million rants about how the gays destroy everything, great entertainment."

"Duly noted."

At that point it seemed like the doctor started to take notice of their note passing, and they stopped quickly. Tam wouldn't be surprised if he did the whole high school read in front of the class thing with the way he had been acting so far.

Tam was 100% sure tenure was the only thing keeping this guy's job intact. Apparently being a drunk asshole wasn't near enough to get a person out of their position. He tried to ignore the professor's annoyingly smug face for the rest of the class.

~*~

Keefe sat in his usual spot at the library, Tam sitting across from him, his brown eyes dancing across the textbook page and lips mumbling along the words. He didn't have much to do, often finding himself just staring at Tam, quickly looking away if he seemed to notice.

Eventually he sighed, sitting back.

"Ugh, this test is in a week and I have so much other crap to do, I'll never get this all memorized by Friday."

Keefe silently thanked his brain for managing to get around the having to study thing. Yay, photographic memory!

"Oh, uh, well I'm free to study more tomorrow if that would help? We could do, like, flashcards or something."

Tam seemed to repress a smile. He did that a lot. Keefe always noticed.

"That's okay, I'm sure you have better things to do. The Starbucks is always pretty packed."

"Eh, sometimes you have to get away from Marella. She's mean to me."

"Not just you, once she told me if I ever made fun of Linh's cat's name again she'd make me cut off my own bangs."

Keefe nodded sagely. "The shorter you are the closer to hell. That's why you're worse than her."

"Hey!"

Tam flicked a stray rubber band at Keefe.

"I'm at least 2 inches taller than Marella...we measured."

Keefe thought up about 12 inappropriate jokes he couldn't make before flicking the rubber band back.

"Two inches only counts in roller coasters, none of which you can ride."

Tam stuck his tongue out before returning to his studies. Unlike Tam, Keefe didn't hide his smile.

~*~

Tam strolled into the Starbucks that Friday morning, no longer surprised to see Keefe working the counter. He could barely hold still in line as he thought about the amount of cramming he'd have to do in the next few hours.

When he reached the counter, Keefe said nothing, just busily worked making a drink.

He stuck it right out at Tam.

"One venti iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso because you have a test today in political science and still haven't studied everything and also a muffin because you probably haven't eaten today. On the house. Good luck with the studying."

Tam froze.

"I- um- th-thaks. Y-you too...sport."

Oh, you fucking idiot.

He quickly scurried out of the Starbucks with drink and muffin in hand. Wow, he had screwed that up.

But...

Keefe...

He...

He remembered his order and that he had a test and that he forgot to eat when he was stressed holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Okay, deep breaths Tam, you got this. You can totally handle a frustratingly cute guy showing care for you this is fine...

Not fine, not fine, gotta tell Linh.

He called Linh with no forewarning. Despite the fact that she was currently across the country at a different university, and it was about 3 am for her, she picked up. He barely let her get out a groggy "Hello?" before explaining everything. She only seemed to think a moment before responding.

"Hm. Well it's good to know that college is going good for you. Do you need advice or comfort?"

"Yes."

"Well, first of all, everything's gonna be okay. And I know that doesn't help much but just try to remember we're eighteen, and it's not the end of the world. Second of all, try to ask him out or something. It doesn't have to be framed as a date, like Marella and I got together on a walk in the park, seriously it can be anything."

"Thanks Linh."

"No problem, also can you hug Marella for me?"

"If she doesn't try to kill me first, yes."

"Nice. Okay go do what you gotta do, also don't wake me up at 3 am again or else I'll sic Purryfins on you, I had just gone to bed."

With that she hung up and Tam continued on his way, still trying to not completely freak out.

~*~

Keefe stared blankly as Tam walked right out of the door. Marella appeared by his arm.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Well, he called me 'sport'."

Marella inhaled through her teeth.

"Yikes. Comfort, advice, or distraction?"

"Distraction, please." Keefe replied, absent-mindedly preparing a cup for the next customer.

"Uh, well I meant to ask you what ended up happening with that ass of a teacher, but I got a bit distracted at your attempt to woo Tam-"

"Hey I said distraction not reminder. But basically I just got a slap on the wrist because, and I quote, 'Your father is Cassius Sencen! He wrote half the books we use in this class, I'm sure he can straighten you out!'"

"There's absolutely nothing papa Sencen could do to make you straight, I'm pretty sure he tried that, and it obviously didn't work."

"He actually tried a few times and it most definitely did not. Lucky he doesn't have my number anymore or else I assure you he'd keep trying."

Marella laughed.

"Well, moving on from grade A assholes, I'm supposed to tell you there's a party tonight. I'll have to send you the address later, I have it on my phone though, I am told there's gonna be booze, so I'm going."

"Eh, I'll probably go. Just to get my mind off everything."

"Thata boy." She lifted her phone. "And my shifts over in three, two, one, and I am out of here! See ya' tonight Hunkyhair."

"That's Lord Hunkyhair to you."

She just rolled her eyes and clocked out, leaving Keefe to deal with both the customers and his own thoughts.

~*~

Tam sat in his dorm room alone, constantly refreshing his grades for the possibility that his 70-year-old professor would post the test results at 1:30 am.

His roommate was gone for the weekend, actually he was gone most of the time. Tam didn't think they'd even had a full conversation before.

He jumped as his phone began to ring, a call from Keefe of all people. He hesitantly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Tam! Tam Tam Tam Tam Tam" Keefe's slurred speech was too loud for a phone call, Tam held his phone a bit away from his ear. "...fuck wait why did I call you..."

There was a long pause, neither said anything.

"Oh yeah! I needed to tell you something...but uh I uhm I forgot what it was."

"Keefe, where are you?"

"At a paaaaaarty, well, actually just outside a party because it was hot in there, but now it's cold out here so uh yeah."

Tam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, send me the address, I'm coming to pick you up. Wait right there and don't move."

"Okie dokie."

Tam heard a thud sort of sound and the rustling of grass from the other line before Keefe hung up and soon after got a message of his location.

After 20 minutes of walking in the cold, Tam came up to what seemed to be a frat house with Keefe sitting on the lawn in criss-cross, patiently waiting in short sleeves and basketball shorts, way too little clothing for the weather. His ruddy face smiled as he saw Tam approach.

"Tam! I remembered what I was going to tell you." He stood up, face falling right after. "Oh no wait I forgot again. Ooh! You need a drink."

Keefe grabbed Tam's hand, pulling him towards the house. Tam stayed in place.

"Hey, let's get you home dude."

Keefe pouted.

"I don't wannaaaa."

He slouched down, pulling on Tam's arm like a child having a tantrum.

Tam pulled him back up to his feet.

"C'mon, if you go to your dorm without fuss I'll buy you ice cream tomorrow."

Keefe seemed much more ok with going along with Tam with the ice cream deal. He pulled off his own coat and placed it around the very drunk boy, he didn't complain.

Keefe began humming some annoying song from the early 2000s that was playing from the house earlier as they walked back in the direction of the dorms.

Suddenly, Tam remembered something.

Fitz was Keefe's roommate.

Shit.

"Hey uh do you think Fitz is at your dorm?"

Keefe nodded confidently.

"Yep! Said he was gon' study. Wouldn't come to the party because of his 'reputation' or whatever."

Around reputation he did exaggerated finger quotes, nearly knocking Tam's jacket off his shoulders.

"Hm...in that case let's go to my dorm, ok?"

Keefe shrugged, apparently willing to go along with most things in his current state. Thank goodness Linh had made Tam bring extra pillows and blankets to college, he could sleep on the floor and just hope Keefe didn't get sick on him in the night.

It was ridiculously hard to lead Keefe back to his dorm. He tried to pull down his pants halfway there and Tam almost had to carry him up the stairs but soon enough they got there. He sighed with relief as he led his inebriated friend into the room.

"Okay, you can stay here for the night. I'll sleep on the floor."

Keefe plopped himself down on Tam's bed laying flat for only a moment before sitting up with a snap and a look of realization in his eyes.

"OOH! I remember what I was gonna tell you again!"

"Oh?" Tam said playing along, expecting him to forget again.

He patted the spot next to him on the bed, Tam continued to play along, sitting next to him.

"So Marella said that I should just tell you this, and it worked for her, so I'm gonna. And uh and you have to promise to listen 'cause I'm not sayin' it again."

At this point Keefe grabbed his face with both hands, staring right in Tam's eyes and squishing his cheeks.

"You're listening right?"

Tam nodded, mostly to shake Keefe's hands off his face.

"Okay."

Keefe took in an over dramatic breath as if he was preparing to preform in the Olympics before getting another grin on his face.

"I really like you."

"You really like me?"

He nodded mumbling "mhm".

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I like you. Like, like like you."

"Like...as a friend?"

"I said I wasn't gonna repeat myself. As a booooyfriend." At this point Keefe fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Tam's cheeks were burning.

"How long have you liked me like that?"

"Mmmm..." Keefe seemed to ponder for a moment, "Prolly high school."

"Oh um...good to know. You should get some rest. I'll be down here if you need me."

"Alrighty."

Tam shut off the lights and Keefe started snoring quick. Tam could only stare up in the darkness, unable to sleep.

~*~

Keefe woke up that morning in a room he didn't recognize to a killer headache and dead phone.

He turned to the side, seeing a pile of blankets and pillows with a large gatorade, bottle of tylenol, and a note next to it. Suddenly last nights memories came flooding back.

Oh, shit.

He scrambled out of bed, headache and nausea hitting him harder as he stood up.

Despite the fact his head was spinning, he picked up the note from the ground and read it.

Hey, meet me at the reservoir around 6, we need to talk -Tam

F. U. C. K.

Had he really said all that stuff last night? Surely it was a dream, right?

Oh God.

He gathered his few belongings, plus the things to help the hangover, and left the dorms as fast as possible. Only having to stop once along the way to throw up in one of the campus trash cans, hopefully no one would notice.

Keefe didn't have anything to do and he really didn't want to face Fitz so he went about his day in last nights clothing. Then again, it was a college campus. Someone walking around with rumpled clothes carrying a gatorade probably wasn't that big of a deal for most people. By 5:30 he sat impatiently in the empty park where the reservoir was located, it was colder closer to the water.

Just as promised, at 6 o'clock he saw Tam approaching on the horizon.

~*~

Tam was damn near a panic attack as he walked around the park attempting to find Keefe. Eventually he found him, sitting on a bench still in his clothes from last night, face once again ruddy from the cold. He sat next to him wordlessly.

"So," Keefe started.

"So," Tam replied, looking down at his lap.

"Tam I-" Keefe turned to face him. "I'm sorry about everything last night, I probably just made everything super awkward. Not to mention it's a giant violation of the friend code to even have a crush on your best friend's ex-"

"Yeah, about that."

"What?"

"You're gonna maybe kill me for this but uh," Tam pulled on his bangs. "I sorta talked to Fitz about it, I figured you wouldn't and apparently I was right. He said he was okay with it as long as we were ok with it."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Tam sighed, "Perhaps."

Keefe once again wore that shit-eating grin of his.

"Can I hear you say it?"

"Why don't you have to say it?"

"Already said it last night! Your turn now. Why did you take care of me while I was drunk?"

Keefe stared at Tam excitedly waiting for the answer. Tam sighed.

"Because I love you, little shit."

"Ooh you said it-"

Tam smashed his lips against Keefe's, both quickly melting into it. After only a moment they pulled away.

"Agh, you taste like gatorade and vomit."

"Well you taste like salt so really what's worse."

"Definitely the vomit."

Despite this, Tam leaned back in. This kiss was a moment longer than the last, and when Tam pulled away Keefe chased it.

"Ok, look I'm sorry but you look like shit Keefe you have to go change." Tam removed his jacket, throwing it around Keefe once again and helping him up from the bench. Keefe laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. Ooh now that we're a thing you need a new nickname!"

"I do?"

"You do, how about 'Bangs Boyf' ooh or maybe you can be my 'provoked partner' or my 'snappy spouse' my 'agitated accomplice' perhaps."

"Do you just have these ready and prepared for any situation?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"You aren't Houdini, you're an 18-year-old boy that currently reeks of frat party."

"Eh that's basically the same thing. I've seen some 18-year-olds at frat parties preform tricks Houdini could never dream of."

Tam sighed dramatically. "It's a good thing you're pretty, you know."

"Hey!" Keefe jokingly shoved him.

For the first time Tam's smile wasn't repressed.

#hope you like this elliot!#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kam #keefe sencen #tam song #kotlc fic #scheduled to post at 9 am and ill reblog once i get back to my phone because ill be doing x-mas stuff

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kiribaku-queen · 4 years

Text

Unexpected [2/8]

Pairing: Dabi x reader, Hawks x reader, Touya x reader

Fluff, angst, AU

Tigger Warning: Alcohol consumption, 18+ scene (if you don’t want to read smut then read up to the line 😊)

Word count: 5.7K

A/N: So much love on the first chapter already???? I really don’t deserve it. Sorry for the late update! I was trying to work on the last scene and wanted to make it so good for you guys. Don’t come for me if its mediocre. I’m still learning on how to write those kinds of scenes! Let me know if you want to be on the taglist!

Summary: Being quirkless wasn’t so bad. Especially when you had two badass best friends that had amazing quriks to make up for it. That is until one of them breaks your heart by disappearing in thin air. And the other breaks your heart by wanting to focus on his hero work. After coming back to Japan after studying abroad for 5 years, you were in for a whirlwind of surprises.

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

You stared up at the man that saved you. Takami Keigo.

He had set you down safely, away from the fight, but didn’t glance at you a single time. Once he set you down, he was already rescuing another victim. He was fast. Flying to move others out of the way from falling debris. He even utilized his feathers to separate from his wings to do the same. Wow, where did he learn to do that? You were mesmerized by how swift and powerful he had become. But now wasn’t the time to daydream. You had to go to work. And now you were late.

Cursing in your head, you got up, dusted yourself off and continued on your way to work. But then you halted. You looked back at Keigo, watching him fight that villain. Maybe you should wait and thank him for saving you. He didn’t know he was saving you though. He didn’t look at you. He was just saving anyone he could at the moment. It would probably just be an awkward encounter anyway. You decided against it, but you couldn’t help but think about him, your heart racing just a bit.

You arrived at the school just in time. And that was all because you started running. You entered the teacher’s lounge where a meeting was about to begin. You sat down and greeted the other teachers around you before the principal of the school went to the front to start the meeting.

“Thank you all for being here so early. Let’s discuss today’s meeting. As you all know, it’s the first day of the term. Not very exciting but let’s still follow protocol.” The principal announced. Nods were seen coming from everyone, understanding that nothing new is happening. “But this year we are going to do something a little different. Every year, we have heroes come in to give speeches about their hero life and what students without quirks can contribute to hero society. This year, we are going to have that speech on the first day to give students more motivation to start the year off.” He explained. You nodded your head as well, fascinated that this is what they do in schools now. You jotted down some notes to save for later. The principal continued on with the meeting. Instructions seemed basic enough. Nothing too outrageous or out there. You were nervous for you first day for nothing.

“Before you all leave to your homeroom classes, let me introduce you to the heroes,” the principal gave the final announcement. All eyes turned to the door as a flood of heroes walked in and stood in the front besides the principal. A chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ filled the room upon seeing how strong and intimidating they were. You also ogled at the pro-heroes in front of you. You could tell it was going to be an interesting first day. Before the principal could finish introducing all the heroes, the front door swung open, causing a loud noise to fill the room. Immediately, all eyes were back on the front door at whoever just barged in.

“Hawks, you’re late.” One of the other pro-heroes said in a disappointed, authoritative tone.

“Sorry captain. Villain fight, if you know what I mean,” he jokingly informed the other pro-hero in a sarcastic tone of voice. He laughed it off while the other heroes kind of just rolled their eyes. When he was finished with his little antics, Hawks looked at the audience and looked at each teacher in the eye.

“Hawks. Nice to meet everyone,” he introduced himself. When he got to you, his eyes froze. You refused to meet his eye and looked away for the rest of the meeting. But you could feel his stare on you.

“Alright, meeting dismissed. Teachers, you can go to your classrooms. I’ll send you your assigned heroes in a bit.” The principal gave the final word and dismissed everyone. You quickly gathered your materials and bolted out of there, actively avoiding a certain blonde hero.

You anxiously wait in your homeroom class. Not because you were nervous about meeting the kids for the first time, but because you were anxious about which hero was assigned to your class to guest speak. A knock could be heard on your door and you quickly open it. Blonde hair properly groomed to the side. His outfit was made out of jeans from hear to toe. With a sigh of relief, you let the hero in. It wasn’t Keigo. Now you could relax without all the nerves messing you up through the day.

You rolled your head in circles and massaged you shoulders. Man, it was a long first day. Fun and exciting, but definitely long. After the heroes gave their speeches to the students, they immediately left to focus back on their hero work. Good, because that meant you didn’t have to run into Keigo accidentally. You sighed and packed up your bag, ready to relax back at your apartment. Before you could escape your workplace, a female coworker wrapped their arms around your shoulder.

“Hey newcomer. Leaving already?” she asks. You look behind your shoulder and gave a curt nod. She pouted at your lack of response. “Aw, too bad. Well, everyone’s going out for drinks and a bit of dancing. Wanna join?”

“Right now? It’s barely dark out,” you question their thought process and look outside the window. The sun was still bright in the sky. I guess the sun was about to set, but not for another hour or two. “I guess it couldn’t hurt.” You mumbled to yourself. But your coworker heard you loud and clear. She was already smiling from ear to ear.

“Great! Let’s go!” she grabbed you by the arm and dragged you out of there, right behind the rest of your coworkers.

“Ah, but, I’m still in my work clothes,” you stuttered and looked down at your outfit. You were dressed pretty nice for your first day, but still. Going out in your work clothes was just not it. You could already feel the stares of strangers looking at you weirdly.

“We all are! It’s a company dinner. No one’s going to say anything,” she reassured you. And she was right. Looks like this was a regular thing in Japan. There were several groups of people wearing business casual or business formal attire at the place you were drinking at. It was more like a club. There were private rooms for big crowds, as well as a bar, a dance floor and a DJ. An interesting setting but no one else seemed effected by the atmosphere. Everyone was taking shots or taking sips of their drinks, laughing and having a good time.

You got to play some drinking games with your coworkers and got to know them within a short period of time. Drinking, even just a little bit, just brings out the chatter box in you. You usually only drink enough to have fun, but you were having a great time. You forgot about today’s events and just started living in the moment. Some of the male coworkers sang their hearts out to karaoke. You were shocked and appalled that the principal was also joining in. But you were all having fun, where’s the harm in that?

At the bar, Hawks was ordering a whiskey on the rocks. He put his drink to his lips, slowly drinking it with his arms resting on the countertop looking over at the people on the dance floor. He doesn’t usually come out to the bars. It was once in a blue moon, maybe even rarer. He didn’t have time to mess around nor was he really interested in crowds like this. But he had to figure out how to get someone out of his head. You. He had to get you out of his head. Hawks was not prepared to see you today. He wasn’t expecting or anticipating it. Seeing you took him completely off guard. Hell, he didn’t even know you were back in Japan. Dammit. And if it wasn’t enough, you avoided him. You actively refused to look at him and fuck did that sting like a motherfucker. Ah well, at least you guys won’t be bumping into each other often. Or so he thought.

You were currently being dragged to the dance floor with a few of your female coworkers. All of you surrounded yourselves with each other and formed your own little circle. At first you were shy. You knew how to get down when you were overseas but you weren’t sure if Japan shared the same energy. When you felt comfortable and safe enough, you started swaying your hips to the music. Letting the music take over your body and let’s be honest, you also let the alcohol do the talking. Eventually, you were dancing like it was nobody’s business, dancing with all the ladies around you.

Hawks cocked an eyebrow as he saw you dancing. You looked different. You looked… more carefree. Independent. Confident. And he can safely say that you were very much attracting him. His eyes traveled your body as you swayed your hips to the beat and even swayed against the other women that were with you. You were teaching your coworkers a few moves you picked up at college in the States and god damn was it sexy to watch. The way your work skirt hugged your ass was already catching his eye. But he couldn’t look away when you started to move your ass up and down, twerking on one of your coworkers. That coworker was embarrassed but played along but you eventually laughed it off.

You were having so much fun letting loose. When you turned around with a wide smile on your lips, you spotted a winged blondie looking your way. Keigo. You couldn’t tell if your heart was racing from the alcohol or if it was from seeing your ex again. But a thought came to your mind. Maybe it was the alcohol. You smirked to yourself and started to dance sexier. Keigo broke your heart to become a hero and because you didn’t have a quirk. Well you were going to show Hawks what this quirkless teacher can do and what he’s been missing out on.

You made eye contact with said hero and moved your body in a way that would attract anyone’s attention. You moved your hands up and down your body as you rolled your hips, feeling yourself to the music. Hawks scoffed and admired the show you were giving him. In one shot, he down the whiskey in his cup and forcefully set it down on the counter behind him. His predatory eyes were on you and only you. Hawks made his way towards you but before he could get to you, another man was rubbing himself on you.

Amidst your dance, you felt a pair of rough hands grab your waist and tug you backwards so that your body was flushed against someone’s chest. A hot breath met your left ear, making you shudder in fear. You tried to push his hands off you but to no avail. That just made him tighten his grip.

“Come on, dance with my pretty lady,” he disgustingly whispered in your ear. Your coworkers didn’t notice anything yet since everyone was dancing in the moment. And it was hard to tell that someone was touching you since the dance floor was filled with people and flushed bodies were everywhere. You were in a predicament. You wanted to say something but before you could, his grip magically let go. Turning your head, you saw Hawks grabbing the stranger’s wrist in a death grip.

“This pretty lady doesn’t look like she wants to dance with you,” he commented, eyes looking unamused. The man groaned at how tight his grip was but tried to fight him back. By this time, Hawks was already squeezing his body between you two, so that the man couldn’t get to you.

“Fuck off man,” the stranger shouted, swinging his free hand to aim at Hawks’ face. But Hawks was already one step ahead of him. He easily caught the man’s fist. But it made Hawks more furious. He spread his wings wide as a warning, scaring you, the pervert and everyone around you. He was careful enough to not hit anyone but it was still intimidating. This scared the man and he finally fled, going straight to the exit. When he deemed it was safe enough, he let his wings go back to their resting position. Taking a big, deep breath out, he turned to face you. You, still shocked, looked up at him. You both just stared at each other and everyone around you continued doing them.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern written all over his face.

“Mm,” you hummed, looking down in embarrassment. “Thanks…” Your mood was ruined now. All because of some horny guy you couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

“You don’t look it,” Hawks commented, sensing your change of mood. You were grateful for what he did, of course. But now was not the time. You felt upset and violated that you just wanted to go home now.

“Look, Kei- ah, Hawks. I’ll be fine. Excuse me,” you excused yourself from his presence and approached one of your coworkers.

“Hey, I’m gonna head home now!” you told her, yelling loud enough so that she could hear. You could see the disappointment in her face but didn’t stop you. She acknowledged you and then went back to having fun. Giving one last look of appreciation to the hero of the night, you made your way out the door and into the cool, night air.

Chills ran down your spine. You were not expecting it to be this cold out. And what’s worse, your head was still foggy from drinking so much at the bar. A sigh left your lips as you tried to pay attention and just focus on getting home. Once you got home, then could you finally relax and re-energize for work. And you could do that once you got a little birdie off your shoulder. You stopped in your tracks and sighed.

“Are you really following me?” you asked aloud. If there were passersby, they would think you were crazy for talking to yourself. Hawks came down from a nearby building, landing right in front of you with a sheepish smile on his face.

“You knew?”

“It was hard not to when I could hear to flapping your wings this whole time,” you explained. You put your hands on your hips in a disapproving manner. “Go home. I can walk by myself.” Hawks cleared his throat and straightened up, his wings moving along with him. Wow, they were bigger than you remember.

“Heroes have to make sure that the citizens stay safe from danger. You drank. And you’re walking alone in the middle of the night. I was just making sure you got home safe. You know, cause that’s my job. As a hero.” God, he was so awkward.

“Got it. Well if you want to walk me home, you’re gonna have to exchange it for your jacket,” you said, pointing to the brown jacket that he was wearing. You already knew Hawks wasn’t going to leave you alone, no matter how many times you tell him that you’re okay. So you took advantage of this opportunity to at least get some warmth on the way. Hawks smirked and handed you his jacket with no hesitation. And so you began to walk back to your apartment together.

Silence. Dead silence between you two. It was so awkward. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything so that you could walk home in peace. But it was too late to think about that because now you were in this situation. Should you say something? What do you even say? What do you even talk about? Oh, how’s life after breaking my heart in high school? Please… that was 5 years ago. You couldn’t believe you were still salty about it. Believe it or not, Hawks was thinking the same thing. He didn’t know what to bring up. Does he bring up the past? Or does he bring up what he saw at the club? There was no point in asking ice breaker questions. Shit, so what does he bring up? And so you continued to walk in silence until you finally reached you apartment. You spun around and handed Hawks his jacket back.

“Thanks for the escort back. And… thanks for what happened back there,” you thanks him, embarrassed that that even happened.

“Always a pleasure,” he responded. Awkward silence. You bit the inside of your cheek. Man, this was really killing you.

“Well, good night,” you bid your farewell. Opening your door, you enter your apartment and was about to close the door when Hawks stuck his foot out to prevent you from closing it all the way. You open your door back up and look at him with a questioning look.

“Can we talk?” he asks.

“Oh,” that took you by surprise. “About what?” Hawks was hesitant to say.

“Us?” he asks like even he is questioning his decision.

“What’s there to talk about? It was a while ago and-”

“I know. I know but… I feel like I should apologize and explain for um, what happened so,” he said. It took a lot for him to swallow his pride but he had to do this. He had to make this right. It took you a second to process his request because you were not expecting that at all. You had two choices: either leave it alone and let the past be the past or clear up the ‘misunderstandings’ between you two? Well, it couldn’t hurt to choose the latter. You moved your body to the side and opened the door wider.

“Come on in, it’s cold.” You offered and Hawks gladly accepted.

He sat on your couch while you quickly went to make him a hot cup of tea. You set the tea on the coffee table in front of him and sat next to him, putting a throw pillow on your lap. You looked at him, waiting for him to start first. Hawks took a deep breath and faced you.

“I don’t even know where to start,” he confessed, giving a small laugh. You shifted in your seat, hugging the pillow tighter.

“Mmm, I guess… why did you break up with me?” you asked, not having the confidence to look at him anymore. You were opening up old wounds and started to feel some type of way.

“I didn’t want to break up with you, y’know? But when I thought about the future and aspired to be this great hero, I knew that you were going to have a difficult time. You were going to be hurt either way, so I guess. I don’t know. Decided to end it early before it got to that point?”

“And so you decided to be an ass to me?” you looked at him annoyed now. No matter what his reasons were, valid or not, his behavior was inexcusable to you.

“I’m sorry. I thought that if I treated you that way then you’d have an easier time moving on.”

“That’s the most cliché thing ever,” you pouted angrily, playing with the ends of the pillow. If he would have talked to you, then maybe you guys could have come to a compromise or met in the middle. Only if he would have talked and listened to you then this probably wouldn’t have happened. Dumb Keigo. Always trying to think about others but hurting them in the process. You couldn’t help but feel angry at his explanation. So much to the point where you were blinking the tears away. Hawks was staring at you this whole time and noticed the tears in your eyes and how you were trying to hard for them not to fall. When a single tear did finally escape, he cupped your cheek, rubbing the tear away.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you,” he apologized, barely above a whisper. You put your hand over his and looked up into his eyes. He must have moved closer to you because his face was just inches from yours.

“I’m fine. I kinda got over it a while ago,” you said, matching how soft his voice was.

“Let me make it up to you.” He suggested.

“How are you going to do that?” you looked up at him. His eyes could be seen wandering down the features of your face, landing on your lips that were slightly parted. He chuckled and he continued to stare at your lips.

“I mean, I know one way.” Then he looked back at your eyes. “If you’d let me.” He was asking permission. His eyes were more seductive and his voice went an octave lower. And it was turning you on. Hawks saw in your eyes that you were feeling the same way yet you didn’t say anything. He took this opportunity to slowly lean into you, ready to back away if you gave a signal. But you didn’t move. The closer he got, the lowers your lids got. By the time your eyes were fully closer, his lips met yours in a soft kiss. Not too light but not too forceful either. It was nice. He pulled away just barely. You could feel his breath on yours still as he broke away from the kiss. There was a pause. He was waiting for you to maybe back away or smack him but it never came. Taking that as a good sign, he went back in for another kiss, you kissing him back just as hard.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The kiss between you started out innocent and loving. But got hungrier and needier by the second. You attacked his lips like your life dependent on it. Hawks was leaning more into you, both arms on either side of you entrapping you between the couch and him. One hand gripped on his forearm and the other laid on top of his chest. Your nails softly and slowly raked his chest, causing a reaction out of him, nipping at your lower lip. Hawks was getting frustrated at the lack of contact because of the pillow that was still in your lap.

“Let’s get rid of this,” he quickly said, taking the pillow and throwing it aimlessly across the room. You giggled by how aggressive and eager he was to get it out of the way. But you couldn’t even bare to have his lips leave yours, even for that quick second. Your hands cupped his face, brining him closer, afraid that if you let go he could disappear, and kissed him again. Hawks smirked into the kiss, pressing his body on yours. The bulge in his pants prominent as his hips met yours. You moaned into the kiss when you felt his hard on press firmly onto your clit. Hawks took his opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth. His wet muscle fought yours for dominance and explored every part of your mouth. Sucking, licking, pulling. Hawks couldn’t get enough. And he wanted more.

He detached his mouth from yours, a trail of saliva still connecting your tongues together. And went straight to attacking your neck. He wasted no time in leaving marks all over you neck, shoulder and chest. He sucked on the sensitive skin, biting it from time to time. It was painful but fuck did it feel so good. When he was done with one hickey, he licked it to ease the pain a bit but then immediately went to make another one. You probably should have stopped him because you didn’t want your coworkers or your boss to see them. But you didn’t want him to stop.

Your hands got tangled within his blonde locks while Hawks was grabbing hold of your waist, his hands impressively untucking your shirt to show a little bit of skin. You moan which causes him to growl in satisfaction. Oh god that was so sexy. The growl in his voice sent shock waves straight to your pussy. You were getting wetter and wetter by the second. You could feel yourself clenching around nothing and that was soon to change. God, how you wanted more of him right now. Grabbing his face, you brough him in for another dominating kiss. Hawks removed his hands from your waist and moved it to your thighs. Your skirt riding up nice and easy for him. He grabbed your thigh, forcefully hooking your leg to wrap around his waist to get better access to your ass.

He’s squeezing your ass, definitely leaving bruises to be found the next morning. And as much as he loved the taste of your lips, right now, he wanted to go back to attacking your sensitive neck. And that’s what he did. Your breathing became uneasy and turned into deep pants. Was it getting hotter in here? Because your body was growing hotter by the second. Luckily, Hawks was always one step ahead. His hands started to unbutton your white blouse. When it got halfway, he just takes both sides of your blouse and rips it open impatiently. It was taking too long and he was too needy to wait.

“Keigo,” you whined, playfully hitting his shoulder.

“I’ll buy you another one,” he said in a rush. Because he wasted no time in cupping your breasts, admiring the black laced bra you wore. As if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, he devoured your breasts in his mouth. He buried his face, sucking and leaving marks on the mounds of your breasts. He could spend a good time there because fuck, your tits were so perfect. You moaned as you felt the bulge on his pants grow even bigger. That wasn’t helping the friction you needed oh so badly down there. You tried lifting your hips to make contact with his boner but he had to strapped down so you could barely move.

“Keigo,” you cooed his name. “I want more.” You pleaded. He let go of one of your breasts with a loud pop and shushes you.

“Patience little birdie. I promise I’ll make you feel good,” he promises. He continues to massage your breasts, peppering kisses all over your cleavage.

Finally giving you what you want, his hand reaches lower until its right above your clit. You moan in pleasure as he teases your clit with his middle finger. One long stride going from your clit all the way down to your dripping core.

“Fuck, you’re already so wet,” he says, moving your panties to the side to reveal your dripping pussy. Hawks uses his middle finger to gather your juices and gently enters it in you. “Shit, look at that. I didn’t even need to prep you. Your pussy just took in my finger so well.” His mouth was watering watching you completely take his fingers with ease. But it was only one finger. Slowly, he added another finger and then another. Hawks was careful to make sure that he wasn’t hurting you. So every time he entered another finger, he would glance up and see if your facial expression changed. When you had adjusted to all three fingers in you, Hawks moved his fingers slowly. Pumping his fingers in an agonizingly slow pace, making sure he felt every inch of your walls. It was driving you mad. His fingers were finally in you but you were still craving more.

In an attempt to make him go faster, you used your free hand to grab the bulge in his pants. In the same agonizing pace he was going, you stroked his cock up and down through his pants. Hawks bit his bottom lip to prevent himself from moaning from your touch, but you heard it. He groaned, his voice vibrating from deep within his throat. But that seemed to do the trick. The faster he fingered you, the faster you pumped his cock. Moans were coming out of your mouth nonstop. His fingers kept hitting the perfect spot. And it didn’t help that he curled his fingers to add to the effect. Your head was in a daze, feeling your first orgasm coming. Your grip on his cock was softening because you were in such a euphoric state to continue. The moans coming out of your mouth became silent as the orgasm washed over you, your legs trembling. Hawks could feel you clench hard around his fingers, but he wasn’t stopping. He was going to help you ride it out until you couldn’t handle it anymore.

You were coming down from you high and now you were craving one thing. You needed his dick in your mouth. This time, you took the initiative. You pushed his shoulders back so that he was comfortably sitting back on the couch. You kneeled in front of him, already unbuckling his belt. While you were busy taking his pants off, Hawks got rid of the rest of his clothing and threw it somewhere around the room.

You got his pants down to his ankles and revealed his thick, throbbing cock. Precum was already dribbling on the side. Gripping his cock with one hand, you teased him by leaving one long lick, collecting the precum on your tongue. Several curses were being thrown by the winged man but you wanted to keep teasing him. You licked the tip of his dick where more precum was oozing out. Then you wrapped your lips fully around the tip, but just the tip. You pulled up, kissing the tip which made Hawks go crazy. His head was thrown back and his hands were gripping his hair. Seeing that view, you think you did enough teasing to him. Liking your lips in anticipation, you sunk your mouth all the way down his length.

“(y/n)!!!” Hawks screamed your name. His hands instinctively went straight to your hair. You were expecting him to push down on you to take as much of him in your mouth as you can but it didn’t come. Instead, he gathered all your hair in one hand, holding it up for you. But his grip was strong enough to leave pleasure running down your spine. You looked up to see him already eyeing you and how full your mouth was with his dick and his dick alone. Drool was coming down the side of your mouth. At that sight, Hawks’ mouth was left agape.

“Look at that pretty mouth,” he complimented you. If you could smile, you would. But your mouth was already full, preventing you from doing so. So, you hummed in response. The vibrations of your mouth sent Hawks over the edge and he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck, come here,” he takes you off his dick and before you know it, you were straddling his waist, being lifted into the air. “Where’s your room?” he breathed.

“Down the hall to the left,” you breathed back. Your lips connected to one another once again. He carries you down the hall, kicks open your door and throws you on the bed. Before you could process what was happening, Hawks was spreading your legs wide open. He completely removed your panties and your skirt so that your glistening pussy was open and ready for him. He pinned your legs down so you couldn’t squirm around or close your legs shut. Taking one big whiff of your essence, blush rushed to your cheeks. You couldn’t help but cover your face at such an embarrassing act.

“Come on little birdie. Why are you covering your face,” he teased, his lips lightly brushing against your folds.

“I’m embarrassed…” you admitted. Hawks smirked and made you uncover your face.

“Don’t be. I wanna see your face scrunch up in pleasure when I eat you out,” he said. As soon as he finished that statement, he was devouring your pussy like there was no tomorrow. He slurped up all your flowing juices. Tongue exploring every part of you, leaving no place untouched. The noise that he was making was so sinful. But it turned you on even more. It wasn’t long before he could control himself. He gave you one last lick and then spit on your pussy as a parting gift.

He pumped his cock a few times before lining it in front of your entrance. Slowly, he sinks his cock into you, causing you both to moan in sync. Hawks takes is slow at first. Fully taking his cock out and filling you back up again. Then, out of nowhere, he’s ramming his cock in you, going at an impressive speed. Moans filled the room. They were so loud, you were certain that your neighbors could hear every tune coming out of your mouth.

“Fuck. So tight,” he grunts. Staying the same position, he puts your legs together and hugs them, gaining better access. His cock reaches deeper than before in this position. He hits that sweet spot that makes you roll your eyes back and made your back arch.

“Oh god, r-right there! Please fuck me right there!” you beg, already feeling another orgasm coming. He obeys, hitting the same spot over and over again until you’re seeing stars. Your pussy clenches so tight around his member that that was the last straw. He pulls out and is soon cumming all over your chest and stomach. Both of you are a panting, sweaty mess. While you were both coming down from your high, Hawks leans over and bumps your foreheads together. You take that moment to just be in each other’s presence.

“Um, Keigo?” you call out his name. He snaps his eyes to you. “I’m sticky.” You inform him. Immediately, he gets up from the bed in a panic.

“Oh shit shit shit shit,” he kept repeating and runs to find the bathroom. When he comes back, he has a wet towel in hand to clean up the mess he made on you. He throws the towel in the dirty laundry basket that was by your door and lays down next to you on the bed.

“That was-” he starts.

“yeah…” you finish. There was no deny that that quick sex session was absolutely amazing. And there were absolutely no words to describe how good it felt. You both looked at each other and laughed, cuddling closer together.

“Can I stay the night?” he asks. His hand moves the hair out of your face and then cups your cheek.

“Yes please.”

Tagged: @ditu-m9 @snuckerfrcnicken @flowersgirl02 @bestgirlkonan

#dabi x reader #hawks x reader #Touya x reader #hawks imagine #dabi imagine #bnha dabi #bnha hawks #bnha imagines #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #touya is dabi change my mind #hawks smut #bnha smut

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bittywitches · 4 years

Note

I’m obsessed with the college roommates concept— maybe you’re feelings lonely and kinda sad abt ur love life one night and Grayson offers to take you on a date just for fun as friends but then ~feelings~ happen ☺️

Umm do you mean that one episode in season 8 of friends where Joey takes out pregnant Rachel and gets his crush on her??? Bc yes :))

It’s probably just been one of those weeks, you know? An assload of assignments, tests and exams every other day, most of which you’d completely bombed and were feeling shitty about. You hadn’t had more than 5 hours of sleep a day in like a month, you’d been living off of microwavables and instant noodles, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a sip of water since all your energy has been from coffee. And the kids in all your group projects this semester? Idiots. Selfish pricks. Every single one of them.

So it was needless to say that you were just in one of those moods. It was a Friday night, so things had slowed down enough, finally, but it also finally gave you some time to let yourself think, and god it was not great when you had to think.

It had started as just one of those basic thoughts; “What am doing? Where is this going?” which lead to “Why am I even in college in the first place?” Ending with “Oh my god I’m wasting my life and I’m gonna be alone forever”.

By the time Grayson had made it home that night, you were huddled up in the living room sofa under a blanket, your laptop open in your lap and snacks all over the table a couch while “Isn’t she lovely” by Stevie Wonder played on your phone as you tried your best not to burst into tears at the thought of never finding a boyfriend.

“Whoa, I don’t remember getting my invite to this slumber party.” He laughed, kicking his shoes off and throwing his bag onto the single sofa next to yours.

You slumped your shoulders. “It’s not a slumber party, it’s a pity party.”

“Oh?” He sat himself down on the sofa. “Who for?”

“Me, who else?” You wallowed, stuffing some more popcorn into your mouth.

“Why, did you get marks back?” He asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, a bit concerned at the volume of popcorn you were putting into your mouth with each bite.

“No, but what’s the point? I already know I’m doing bad.” You slumped backwards into the couch, just wishing you could be swallowed by the pillows and cushions.

“Hey,” He placed a hand on your knee, looking at you seriously now. He knew you. Your general melt downs he was used to, but this was different. He could tell something was wrong. “You okay?”

You sighed, grabbing your phone off the counter and pausing the song so you could think straight. “You don’t wanna hear about it.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

You sighed, slipping your legs out from under you and dangling them off the couch. “Okay, um..” Grayson’s hand had fallen away, and you suddenly felt like rubbing the spot on your leg where it had been. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been so busy lately, and it’s just gotten me thinking about my life in general. And how I haven’t gone out on a date in like…” You had to stop and think, and started laughing after a few seconds. “In so long I can’t even remember. Wow, god.” You sunk back into the couch. “I miss dating.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you. “Yea?”

“Yeah, you know,” You waved your hands around vaguely. “The whole excitement of it. Getting to dress up and look all nice. Feeling all pretty.” He tilted his head at you, and you shook your head and laughed. “But you know, not that I need the reminder. I’m obviously hot as fuck.” You gestured to yourself, highlighting your nest of hair and your stained sweatshirt. You waited for him to laugh, but he just continued to look at you with that weirdly deep expression.

“What?”

“How about I take you on a date?”

You blinked at him, then started to chuckle, confused. “Huh?”

“You know, as friends. But I’ll give you like, the whole experience.”

You almost spit at that. “The ‘whole experience’?”

He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. We’ll get all dressed up, go out to a nice place for dinner or something.”

You sat up now, your eyes narrowed at him. “Why?”

“Why not? It’s a friday. If you have stuff to do you can always do it later.”

“You know where that mindset gets me, Dolan.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He smiled. “Plus, you deserve a fun night.”

You scoffed. “Yea, but not with a boyfriend or anything. With my roommate.”

“You think you could do better?”

“Incredibly.”

“God just shut up and go change.”

You laughed. “I— You know what? What the heck.” You got up, and he did with you. “Ah, okay!” You gave him a quick squeeze before running to your room, and his eyes followed after you, a gentle smile on his lips.

…

He’d done the whole shebang. He got dressed in a nice dress shirt and clean black jeans, something you’d actually never seen him wear before. He’d somehow gotten you a bouquet of flowers, which, you weren’t even sure where or how he’d gotten them, because you couldn’t have taken more than twenty minutes to get ready. Nonetheless, he truly was the gentleman you had never expected. This was Grayson, the guy you watched old disney movies with and cried with during finals. He was the one you’d eat whole pints of ice cream with and play The Last of Us with and helped you master. He certainly wasn’t the one who was supposed to be complimenting you on your dress and taking you out to nice dinners. But here he was, doing just that.

He’d parked his car and was now escorting you inside this tiny but upscale italian restaurant, simple but elegant. As you entered through the glass door, the dazzling chandelier above the waiting area along with the gorgeous red sconces blew you away.

“Grayson how did you get a place like this on such short notice?” You whispered to him, gripping his arm, a bit intimidated by all the fancy folk waiting inside.

“I know some people.” He responded, a small smile on his lips.

You slapped his arm. “As if, you don’t even know the name of the Starbucks barista on campus.”

He rolled his eyes. “Can’t you let me be cool?” You stared at him waiting for the response, and he sighed. “This place is fairly new. Not that many people know about it yet, so it’s pretty easy to get a reservation.”

“How’d you know about it then?”

“Found it when I was looking for a place to take Sarah to.”

“Oh my god that girl from your Kinesiology class?” You looked at him with wide eyes and a grin on your face. “No way! I didn’t think you’d grow the balls to ask her out.”

“Hey,” He said, but you laughed. “Well, I haven’t exactly asked her yet. I was just checking it out.”

“Well either way, she’s going to love this place, it’s so extravagant.” You made it to the front and Grayson informed the woman standing there of his reservation. She escorted you both inside and brought you to a table next to one of the windows. She’d dropped off two glasses of water and menus for you both to look at in the meantime. You peaked at the one in front of you, and your eyes grew again.

“Gray, did you happen to look at the prices before coming here?”

“Don’t worry, I’m buying.” He flipped through his casually, as if he wasn’t exasperated at the large numbers printed on the cards.

“Are you serious? What are you, made of money?”

“Hey, I promised you a fun night, right? I can make a few sacrifices.”

A young man came up to your table, and you both gave him your order. You ended up choosing the cheapest thing on the menu, because a) you didn’t want to be too much of a burden on Grayson, but also b) you barely knew what any of it was anyways. He left, you both chatted for a bit, and he returned with your meals, both of them being some sort of pasta that you were a bit embarrassed about not knowing the differences between.

Grayson didn’t really know that much either, to be quite honest, but for some reason he felt the need to impress you with this place. And he was pretty giddy about the fact that it was working.

But throughout this, you had kept staring at him, frankly a bit shocked at the whole situation you both were in. You had to shake your head to get your thoughts straight, but ended up giggling. “So, you always this sweet with the girls you take out on dates?”

He bit his cheek, but decided to play along, lowering his fork and leaning in towards you to hear you over the chatter in the restaurant. “Why, you interested?”

“No, just curious what it is that Grayson Dolan pulls to get a girl.” You crossed your arms on the table, on elbow propped up with your chin resting on your hand. “Tell me, you have any moves?”

He laughed. “What, that I just use with every girl?”

“Don’t act so modest. There’s gotta be something. What gets them drooling?” You asked a playful smile on your lips.

He rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his food. “Okay fine, um.” He cleared his throat. “It usually starts out the same, I ask them about themself. Where they’re from, what they do— like, okay. What do you like to do in your spare time?”

You snorted. “Are we doing this? Are we playing this out?”

“Yesss, go with it.”

You laughed. “Okay, uh well. I like to paint sometimes.”

“Yea? What kind of stuff?”

“Well I used to do more traditional stuff, my parents were really into those pretty realism paintings. I’d do flowers and fruits and whatever, but every since, I guess junior year of high school, I’ve been doing more pop art pieces? And a lot more self-indulgent stuff. And I…” You trailed off, realizing you were rambling, but also realizing that Grayson had his soft eyes fixed on yours.

“What?”

His eyes widened a little, as if you’d shook him out of a daze, and he chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just, uh... “ He smiled. “Your eyes are really pretty.”

Your face flushed a little bit, and you looked away from him, taking a sip of water to use it as your excuse. “Ah, thank you.”

He shook his head. “Anyways, so do you still do pop art now? Or has it changed since you’ve started college?”

You blinked at him, then covered your mouth as you opened it in slight shock. “Wow, that was really good.”

He laughed. “Yea?”

“The eye thing was good on it’s own but to know you were actually listening to me? I’m impressed.” You nodded in approval.

He tilted his head, chuckling. “Thank you, thank you.” He took another bite of food before continuing. “So what about you? You have any moves?”

You snorted again. “Gray, I barely go out on enough dates in the first place, much less enough to establish any moves.”

“Why are you always so modest? You can tell me you know.”

You laughed. “Yeah duh I know, but I’m genuinely serious this time. I don’t get asked out all that often.” You shrugged. “It’s why I get excited when I do get to go on dates. It’s fun.”

Grayson was the one who couldn’t help but stare now. He blinked at you, unable to really comprehend what you were saying to him. How could people not want to ask you out? You were incredible. Looking at you now, your hair up in a dainty bun, a few curls falling down the sides of your face; your pretty off the shoulder dress that matched your deep magenta-maroon lipstick. And he wasn’t lying about your eyes, they really were so pretty. They sparkled, even more so when you were laughing. Which was usually accompanied by your scrunched up nose, making you look like a cute little bunny. He smiled at the thought, as he loved seeing that expression on your face.

“Huh.” he said out loud then, not realizing when it was he had starting noticing your small actions like that so much.

“What?” You asked, looking up at him, and suddenly, seeing those same eyes he always saw staring at him, he felt almost light headed. His face felt warm, seeing you look at him like that. He was almost afraid that you could see what he was thinking. But why would that be a problem unless…

Grayson slowly widened his eyes. Did he seriously have feelings for Y/N?

“Nothing, sorry.” He said with a smile, looking back down at his food. Sure, he’d always thought you were amazing. You were gorgeous, sure, and you made him laugh. And yea he loved hanging out with you, watching movies and playing video games, and he adored being your roommate, having late night conversations and spending all your free time together…

He wanted to mentally smack himself in the face. Shit, he had feelings for you.

This was going to be a long night.

#not me getting ~carried away~ as usual #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan concept #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan x reader #dolan twins #ask #anon

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queenofallwitches · 3 years

Text

an update and primer:

so the last winter was weird. I had a complete breakdown, went into psychiatric hospital for 40 days in total. two seperate times.

learnt a heap of new things, met a tonne of cool people and had amazing conversations and few fights but overcome my own demons by that.

brain speaking-I have a scarred brain stem and neurological disorder is not a mental diagnosis, but a neurological disorder, proven by MRI scan, ADHD.

also damage to my basal ganglia, and prefrontal cortex.

neurological diagnosis means ADHD is not a "mental" health issue, as some believe, rather a neurodevelopment disorder caused by structural differences in the ADHD brain.

other neurodevelopment disorders include: Tourettes, Autism, Cerebal Palsy, Dyslexia and other Motor and Intellectual Disabilities. (Which recieve, in my view, a lot of insight, media information and stigma reduction by the advocacy networks surrounding these types of disability).

Over the last few years Autism has been over everything, I've seen mainstream media cover Tourettes and yet ADHD is still HUGELY misunderstood, misconceived and misrepresented in media, be in from the angle of documentaries, personal insight of a "typical" case, films, tv, and other media.

one of the first things my dr told me was "in females it rarely presents as hyperactive red-cordial OD child"

which is what my mother BELIEVES, that is because I have an adopted cousin with the ADHD dx who was that growing up, but the representation I'm told is also divergent for women with a higher IQ score than the average IQ. I come in around 142 and tested 123 at age 3 when I was unable to focus, pay attention and had severe trauma. I tested 142 in grade 8.

I'll share my experience as a female who is intellectually gifted, with higher IQ than average, and an adhd brain:

I've been told gifted and talented "genius" children are harder to diagnose because the symptoms present differently, we hide it better (camouflage) and our focusing can be "faked" by mediocre efforts of academic success.. this is true, I would do the assignment the Sunday night hours deadline, last minute, or have my parents half do it for me, plagiarise it (fuck I've killed my whole academic career now) copied but changed my words

from old 1970s encyclopaedias I KNEW they couldn't cross reference (I went through 15 years of school never studying doing homework or assignments and still had top grades).

I literally did not listen, and spent my classes planning the end of the world survival strategies with my GT friend who, basically helped me with my calculus and hard fucking maths, which was the ONLY 50 minutes of the day I put attention into my work.

now I'm going to be heading back to full-time study in the coming months, I get anxious as the pressure of a Bachelor level degree, and the pressure it takes me to perform, is enough to break me down. I've been advised it might be wise to start light (like a basic vet style diploma) and then build up, which is logical, but I keep thinking I'm meant to be doing my thesis by now. which is the kind of pressure one gets as a kid who is told repeatedly, "your intelligence is exceedingly the average and you can do ANYTHING you want"

I wanted to be an astronaut, a storm chaser, and an architect, a town planner and then a journalist. I always held to being a "FBI agent" or spy (I wonder why). so when I found psychology is really a blend of all these things, I kinda found a niche in a psych and social science double degree. but I'm thinking my academic career is LIFELONG, and due to the fact I also want to work in my field alongside my many written thesis coming, I'll be in academics for a long time. I may fail a few things, which I have to come to terms with. I do not fail easily, or readily, but I'm a perfectionist type-a academic who will put my whole life on the line to achieve "merit". I get exams, I get assessments, I read journals super-easy, I talk the talk and walk the walk so well psychologists who are at masters level compliment me on my "knowledge".

when it comes to mental health and trauma, I will always have the personal attachment, called lived experience, which will make failure and burnout, 100 percent realistic. I have to boundary up, bootstraps on, and prepare that yes, my personal "bias" will probably be entwined in this.

which is why I'm looking at the social science for the statistics and thesis writing side of things, and the counselling for the trained therapist side. either way, the degree of counselling requires so much self-insight, and then the social-science will back me away from personifying it. the other choice is criminology, which leads to forensic psychology, which is eternally fascinating. my main concern is the pro-pedophile content Ill be up against, which will look at the anatomy of a shoplifter akin to the devil, and leave the pedophile in the DSM-5 dx "paraphilia" box.

I'm not joining or jumping to anything.

either way I've got 2 year of credit, a heap of pathways and a lot of "academic momentum" from all my life being aimed to be "academic powerhouse". I went through my files and found a lot of awards I'd won in my high school, and top place in the competitions we would be entering in. I remember feeling so sad if I had a "credit" vs a distinction or high distinction, only to see now, a credit in university maths in year 9 is a skillset I don't have anymore so, good on me. or a credit in English, or Science at that age was pretty impressive, considering these tests were random and not studied for.

just a general skills assessment only the top 30 kids in the year were to take on a year by year basis and put out to vet from the top universities and taken by other kids in the same grade around the state.

it puts so much focus on my intelligence, because it's primed to be that way, I know that is true. I know I feel good being academically successful and it gives me a feeling of "achievement" but is it really for me?

I also found 2 letters from my local politicians offering me job placement, work experience and I was 1/4 kids in my 10th grade graduation tom get the letter, and due to my behaviour I pissed ALL the idiots who bullied me off. I was "too pretty to be a nerd" "too smart to be pOpUlAr".

so I made a group of misfits, who are all highly intelligent, creative and my group had the ONLY gay male in the school AND THIS IS BEFORE YOU FUCKING RETARDS MADE IT "COOL". he was bullied badly, so fuck you, you fucks claim "liberalism" but I bet you were the type of idiot who bullied guys like him in high school while you pretended to like my chemical romance and fake cut yourselves. I hate you all, forever.

my grade was full of idiots who were fake emo, who left the scene the moment the scene changed to dub-step and club music. I was there, watching you all, like sonny Moore, went from FFTL to that dubstep skrillex shit he started in 2009.

I dated you, hooked up with you and I went to your gigs. I know who was real and who was fake. I met some of you years later and realised the more emotive ones were the less "alternative appearing".

I can say 1/10000 emo guys from the 00s were genuinely Into the music and scene for the right reasons based on my dating history and this can and will be analysed statistically using SPSS one day to prove a lot. I've had too many relationships from each sub-culture and I have had 4-11 males at a time per public "output" of my energy pursue me over life.

I'm not being cocky when I say I have a long line of "suitors" and its banked back about 50 men. it's been a thing I've avoided as it seems to grow based on my body shape, attitude, appearance, so I am currently out of touch with dating scenes, no interest to try that ANYWAY, given the fact that I have had so many LONG TERM relationships ANYWAY. I can't see another one going well, and at this case, I'm living with an ex but we never went on conventional and now our families label this 3 things: "asexual", "polyamorous" and "open relationship". I'm also "bisexual" but this all to humans outside, looks ridiculous on paper. (wild orgies and lots of swinging or some stupid sex magick probably is what J brother literally thinks we do).

bc humans are intrinsically designed to need to label things they don't understand. we share a lease, not a relationship, and fucking polyamorous, I WISH. there are no girl-girl-guy 3 some, or orgies, or sex magic parties.

this has changed the attitude and perception of this "relation' which Is non-romantic, non-sexual. he can date and likely, will, as can I , and I likely won't date.

I would say 14/15 have had ADHD, or other mental illness and or trauma. which means to me, nothing at all.

I think this "open book" non romantic relationship style of "friends and roommates" not sexual.

attachment is misunderstood by others but works well fro my adhd, meaning I'm not expected to marry, or be a wife in any capacity. he is free to do what he wants, as I am, and open communication is a novel frontier I brought into this in the start, and stayed with for the duration. we fight, but I fight with a lot of people in my life over many petty things. also down to my adhd, I believe, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria, which makes me hypersensitive to rejection, perceived or real.

im not sure if this is trauma or adhd or both. but

I have used sexuality as a weapon in many relationships but it cannot or will not be used here, so I have had to resort to uncovering parts of myself which I never knew, which will stay with me even if he decided to marry and wife up in 5 years, which I'm okay and expecting him to do, and I would much rather that then be trapped in a situation where I cannot be that "wife/mother archetype" as I'm too "femme fatal/other-woman/sex-laced seductress and siren" a "FWB, unicorn, drug buddy, hook-up where im a therapist" or "intellectual and cognitive mind-bender work-study obsessed woman".

both at once and many types of human, including one who is a full-time ceremonial magician of 7 years. I will drink, drug, fuck, fight like males and still be more feminine and high maintenance than 89% of women. I grew up a tomboy and don't mind getting into fun, adventure based situations, like hiking, or anything adrenaline, I would only be reluctant to eat weird shit.

I also have many "neurological" issues including ADHD, and trauma which causes a rupture in the average human and I dating.

I'll tell you how many men have said "you are the unicorn" and then realised what that means, I went as far as canvasing the PUA world back in 2014 after reading the game, a book on PUA, which is essentially, pick up artistry, based on NLP and hypnosis. I did this after reading the copy my ex in 2008 handed me before we dated saying "I gave this up for you". it took me years to open the book, buy when I did I truly believed the only way I would fall in love again, was through PUA. that failed in so many ways but gave me a training foundation for men who were candidates for that, I have trained up J, and the way that sounds is BAD. I know, but I got a lot of value myself, I just don't see it how I wanted to see it.

but that was my original intent, and I achieved this he knows that, knew it was happening and evolved for the best self.

I am thinking we can modulate this into a business model for how I was operating in the BDSM world was mainly psychological, not physical.

I get told all of is incredibly intimidating (I am told) to women and men.

I don't really care anymore, because people have always seen this part of me in the wrong way ANYWAY, but I own who I am NOW. which is what I needed ANYWAY. so it cannot be stolen again, and sexual healing has come from abstinence ironically.

I also don't care what or who is trying to tear up my relations, toxic or not toxic, all people around me will be on a healing journey by default, or cut out of my life, for I am radiating that energy so brightly its impossible NOT to feel that pull.

I will drag your shadows into the light, and make your secrets spin from your lips into my consciousness. its not what I do but its what is design.

I make your weaknesses mountains to climb over. you cannot hide from these in my presence, I won't be this controlling or obsessive female who wants 24-7 attention as I have a life full of meaning without love or sex. I don't want to be wined, dined or expensively gifted, unless specially requested.

I don't want love letters or romantic declarations, this isn't some femnazi bullshit, but it triggers me. I appreciate the efforts and won't make you feel bad about your insecurities, for mine are probably 30 x more pronounced.

I appreciate small things, that most males won't or don't know how to do. like remembering things I've said and being thoughtful. or knowing my silence isn't personal, or a game, but a protective wall. I've had songs sung too me, guitars played, songs written, or things made in ways that are heartfelt. but I've always had them used against me too. so it is the context. I value time, energy, conversations of depth and reciprocal exchange. I also value trauma understanding, my alters and fragments being accepted and valued as me as a whole and a person who is not afraid, or scared of stupid stuff like sensitivity, emotions, feelings as raw as my own. men feel intensely too, lol.

but will only give oral sex 100 times before I don't recieve it, I can communicate now so that wouldn't happen.

but I won't be a bitch about this stuff. I am extremely feminine and care in ways other people, do not, I forget nothing people tell me, so it can be a reward or reverse uno card pull in a fight, but I am not evil or deviant in my relations. I react, depending on how you treat me. I don't need your money, or providing source of income to be okay as I am my own queen, however sharing resources is okay to build something. I don't need to be seduced, but will need to be shown a person is trustworthy.

few cross that.

that will always be time-endurance and testing. there are ground rules I don't play with, or play games. or like being forced or forged into something I'm not. I know abusive and I know safe, and I am a psychology expert, trained psychotherapist and study humans for fun, so I'll always be analysing things.

and I know red flags and I know ego, I know how to placate and please and pleasure, but will only do so, for a bigger and better reason than the mere act of seduction. which is without value and transactional to someone like me, I won't lie.

and I know every tactic in the book, for the book was written by someone like me, many lives ago, and my karma is being burnt for that book.

in terms of walls, I have many, may it be called a maze. or labrnyth.

I will teach you things you never thought you'd know, and change your life in ways you won't ever be able to go back to before. I will blow your mind, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, on all levels, and I'll make your friends and family love me.

I'll bring your walls down and you won't be able to understand this, because you don't understand me, and thats ok.

but I'll always understanding you and make your life better because thats what I do anyway, and people talk to me about things I will never share, as I keep secrets. I am jealous, of everything but, only because I am attached in a disorganised way, and working on that.(I won't even mention how man women or men don't know basic psychology of themselves). I also am a therapist , for my friends and family too.i should not be , but I am. I care, I listen, If you think I'm not listening, I'm still listening. sometimes I interrupt, because I have ADHD and I am horrible at resolute planning, or being "normal". but I don't want to be normal anyway. I need you to recognise and understand my shit, for that is what I do for everyone in my life, and I have helped more than I receive.

I'll probably accidentally give you therapy, but thats fine, because you will uncover your depths and find meaning in this. it's not something that goes bad unless you are fundamentally, evil, even the most abusive relationship I was in, was benefited from this process. yes he's still narcissistic, but he is self-aware. and did I benefit, never, just know the anatomy of self-proclaimed narc and I still can't hate him. will get my civil claim one day.

I will fuck your mind without meaning too. but thats because I fuck my own mind. but the meaning is made in the man- some find this highly offensive or personal (its not). I fuck minds by my own overthinking, or over perception on many levels of reality. so join the ride, or don't come along at all. because once the rollercoaster is in motion, I have no control of what may or may not happen. it's purely experimental.

I am experimental.

and the women who are judging me, are not any better.

look within, and shut the fuck up. self-improve and quit this jealous divide and conquer bitchiness. I HATE gossip, bitches, snitches and fakers.

I look to other women who are intellectually, physically and spiritually "individual". and find value in superior status to my own, which is something my narcissistic ex taught me.

I look for mentors, and teachers and people who will teach me how to improve myself, which I am fearful to reconnect after something is amazing and I can't give anything back of positive value. I am sorry I am working on that.

I won't devalue those below me, but I also need to be mutually benefiting from a relationship.

I dont drag people down, I may disappear if I feel I am doing this by mistake. I am flakey as fuck, and sorry for that. its anxiety and lack of perfectionism, so I am wrong and bad for this. I can change. will change.

if you can find value with my relation, personal professional or romantic, we can move into a symbiotic beneficial agreement based on mutual "terms". but many won't or cannot see this, nor do I impose my bullshit into the lives of randoms at this age.

I don't care if this is cruel, it's real.

I value loyalty, compassion, self-insight/awareness, someone who understands all parts-spirituality, metaphysics while still having intellectual & logical & analytical brain-sight.

I enjoy music, magick and learning new things.

I do not care about appearances I dont think ive dated based on one time. I do value connections and chemistry which is far-few between, I hate fakers. I smell insincerity miles away. but I do respect women who are well-presented, or beautiful, with hair beauty and makeup, I can't do this shit well, so I look up to those who are in professions who do it like art. I find them to be genius level queens who scare me.

I call out bad behaviour and make people uncomfortable if they are repressed. I will change you without even meaning too, I don't even need to date you. its just my presence, over time, amplified by the intensity of the dynamics.

I don't want simplicity, but I also don't need over complexity.

I value passion, independence, creativity, curiosity, problem-solving, deep-disscussions, shared adventures and some occasional risk-taking (lol), sensuality and sexuality for a common cause beyond physical pleasure. I like being taught but not micromanaged. I need my own independence, and need to be trusted with that. I hate being scolded for that like a child, or being pushed to change my ways to conform to societal values. which I will push back and refuse to do. which is not healthy. I don't adult like many others do, but I try to proceed in other ways. and learn to adult like normal people, accept me.

I also value myself, and how I can be celebrated, enhanced and improved vs. the opposite.

I give space, and have boundaries, and understand human psychology, sexuality and relationships in ways few others unless they are trained, can do.

I value MY time. so you can have space to value YOURS. I dont need to be in anyones pocket for a long time. I love being alone, and being around people who are stimulating, but draining people will be drained out of my life quicker than I intend. I am sorry for the people who felt I disappeared, when I was only trying to be 'fair', if I feel I'm a bad influence, I will work on myself until I'm not. I'm still working on it.

I also use this psychology awareness, to enhance communication, connection. you may or may not become an accidental guinea pig. I will be upfront that I am experimental, but that is part of the buy ticket and take the ride. lets work together. not apart.

I am coming from a place of love, and love is what I feel for my animals, which you will be adopting as children.which I want to stop experiments being done on. I love love, in all ways, but hate cruelty of animals and children, violence and suffering. I dont advocate justice, because I find life is fucking cruel, unfair and unjust. by default, so I focus on myself. what can be changed, and what I am able to do in my own locus on control. I will always find myself drawn to the outsiders, the misfits, the vagabonds, the misunderstood. I want to help people who are society, or socially, disadvantaged by trauma and mental illness, but only when I have ability to help myself.

it's a journey.

I will not date anyone who is cruel to animals, outside of specify magical sacrifice, there is not any place for that. nor will I date or fraternise with anything or anyone linked or associated with pedophilia. I won't judge anyone on anything that are outside animal cruelty and pedophilia. I don't and haven't. I keep on good terms with every ex, bar 1 whom I only apologised too this year. it felt good to do that. I change my behaviour.

I am open, but also highly attuned to both logical, factual, empirical , scientific worlds, and spiritual, intuitive, psychic and the "collective unconscious". I walk in both these realms, and I am "conventionally attractive". which puts a lot of pressure on me, to be "stupid". I am always dumbing myself down to fit into normality, but I look ridiculous if I do that so I peacock my intellect.

only to be misconceived.

I give up because I no longer care how anyone but MYSELF can see ME. I won't dumb myself down , but I can enhance you UP. prepare yourself for graded education, evolution and self-growth on mass scales.sorry not sorry.

that sucks for the people who want to be living vicariously through me, for making up to lost trauma years, for family who sold me out for the success I'd bring home, or fake trauma enmeshed friends, or whatever they want or need from me. I value my time and energy, and have given that in abundance, and if you want to be with nut only "one part of me that is alters". I can't provide that now. not sorry.

I have to work on something or not be in a dynamic at all.

I no longer can switch on demand to adapt for you, it will not be effective and that upsets a lot of people. especially now I'm sober. harder to handle this, as I see the world for its ways and why it is, more vividly. I haven't had alcohol for almost 2 months, although, I could drink, I haven't.

I can't do it, anymore. it, being, faking, my selves fronting to impress. I can't. I have no more left to give, and I'm expected by everyone to be a way I can't do it in the way they want.

I will go to another year long outpatient DBT, followed by 10 weeks of A-C-T therapy, and however many ECT OR TMS may or may not help. I'm told it won't (ect) work. but TMS, is something I am open too. but I am telling you, none of this psychotherapy, that will be based on dbt skills, day therapy, intensive skills training, recommencing my studying, and resuming "life worth living" will or can wipe the traumas I've "recovered" memories for.

I will also shut the fuck up, and tell nobody about this if you leave me alone, I told that to my family, and this is open letter to the watchers, stalkers and perps who read this openly as I track the hits on here and have 200+ visits a day every day for the last month. globally. no idea how or who you are but I think its the same people who called the police for the "ayreon song lyrics" seen to be a suicide not last October.

thanks for that wake up call, I have shut the fuck up, since December, more so now. I will burn the journals, or lock them up.

my recovery is not linear, not yet fully integrated and I trust nobody so I don't think my psychotherapy will be deep, I focus on things like ADHD AND my EDNOS. and dbt skills. I won't be talking about sexual traumas.

enjoy the update, and thanks for the "attention".

I have my goals, my work, my meaning and what my life should and could and will look like, but I will not share that with anyone. that means everyone right now.

I've been tested, traumatised and terrorised to the point of not-tolerant of anyone who may bring that back, and banish the fuck out of my sphere every moment I need.

take me as I am, or watch me as I go, which I will go, where I am not wanted I will remove myself, but I will find where I am celebrated because I create that.

I will rise up against all adversity every time but that is survival and that created a resilient and brave woman, in me. who will not be destroyed or decomposed by humans who are fundamentally fucking evil.

I gift you my truth, in progression, and give up the pain of the past.

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coralstudiies · 5 years

Text

SURVIVAL GUIDE & STUDY TIPS

hello everyone!! this post is a collab with the lovely and amazing @boinkhs because we've both reached 2k followers :D she'll be doing study tips for college students and i'll be doing study tips for high schoolers. check out her post here!

i've split this into part 1. survival, which concerns how to study & learn better in general and just tips on how to get through high school. part 2. is on specific study tips for each type of subject, namely sciences, maths, languages and humanities.

Hope this helps <3

1. Don't snooze please

you just end up snoozing 5 times then you’re late for school

2. If you find you have difficulty getting out of bed, just keep in mind ONE TASK you need to do.

for example, making your bed. then you just gotta focus on that! it should help fight the sleepiness because you’re forcing your brain and limbs to be active.

3. Do the necessary things like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes and eat breakfast

i don’t know why but some people don’t eat breakfast before coming to school like ???? excuse me ???? please eat at least a small snack, or a fruit or something. your body doesnt function on an empty stomach! also, drink some water to hydrate yourself

4. On the road, you should do something that puts you in a good mood.

for me, i go straight to spotify and listen to my playlist. you should also review the previous day’s learning so that you refresh your memory before going back to class. personally this is my fav part of the day HAHAHA

5. If you like, you can choose to read a book.

just make sure you’re calm but ‘warmed up’ to focusing in a sense.

1. Hydrate frequently

idk man it just keeps you awake + i dont feel so icky if i drink enough water

2. Learn actively

if the teacher asks questions, try to answer. sit at the front row. offer to help give out the worksheets or notes. clarify your doubts after. when they speak, copy down notes. don’t worry about the aesthetic; i mean you can but you need to write fast and neat which unfortunately doesnt come together very often. i suggest you spend more brain power digesting and understanding the content.

3. Don’t over highlight

ONLY KEY POINTS that are stressed by the teacher. you can tell when their tone changes, expression changes, when they use more hand motions, or they keep repeating a few key words. yes , that. highlight that. stare at it while listening to them speak. make sure you understand. if you don’t please ask. but make sure you don’t have a fluorescent page because that’s not ideal study material!

4. Write down any questions you have

if they’re answered in the lesson, cancel them off. if not, ask after the lesson. dont be scared! *sends virtual courage*

5. Use whatever free time you have to finish homework

because you’re gonna thank yourself later. you should spend more time at home revising than doing homework. ( doing homework isnt equivalent to revising PLEASE I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY REVISED FOR 3 HOURS BUT ALL THEY DID WAS HOMEWORK ) also it feels better knowing you have one less thing to worry about

6. Record down all assignments, due dates and test dates

do it in a planner or your phone. doesn’t matter just keep them somewhere. it can be demoralising to see an entire entry of shit to get done but still it’s better than not knowing what needs to be done. ignorance is NOT bliss. try to color code or symbol code them, for example • for assignments (due date behind), - for tests etc. act on this when you go home (see below)

7. Have a file/binder some form of organisation to keep different subjects’ worksheets, tests, notes, reading etc.

you can have one massive binder, one binder for each subject, one folder file for each subject or anything that suits you. for me, i clip all materials of one subject together with a binder clip. the materials i use most are at the front for easy reference. then put those bundles into zipper files, perhaps one for math and sciences, another for languages and humanities. or whatever suits you best! make sure you have everything in one place so you don’t panic and dig through a pile of dog-eared paper.

8. If you can, when it’s near the exam period, don’t stay back after school unless it’s to study.

i used to stay back for training and to play volleyball with my friends and i kid you not we would play from 2pm to 6.30 pm and get nothing done but it was fun. and i’m not saying deprive yourself of that fun but when the exams are near, you should be studying somewhere quiet/ somewhere you can focus. you should go somewhere (preferably home) where you can focus and get things done.

9. Decide if you’re a lone wolf or if you need a study buddy/study group

personally i’m a lone wolf because i hate distractions and i don’t want to distract others. but when my friends ask me for help i don’t mind staying back a little to teach them and/or study with them. Personally i find that for subjects like english which require you to write about an array of topics, studying with someone else can help in generation of essay points and to just broaden your understanding of the topic. so yeah it really depends, just do what suits you :)

10. Take notes in class

try to understand while copying, and if you didn’t understand something, you should raise your hand and ask for the teacher to repeat so that you hear it again. also, it gives you more time to take notes as they re-explain the content. read them after the lesson is over to help internalise some facts. you can create your own method of organisation for your notes, e.g. colour coding.

1. Review the day’s learning on the way home.

if you take public transport, try to flip through your notes and worksheets to review new content for the first time.

2. Eat lunch, have a snack, take a shower, everything that’s necessary.

if you use your phone while eating, make sure you don’t eat slowly just to use your phone because that’s wasting time.

3. If you’re super tired, just have a 15-20min power nap

nothing more otherwise you will NEVER wake up until the dead of night. just take a nap to get some energy back. doesnt matter if you wake up feeling more tired, because you’ll shake that feeling in a while. keep a glass of water beside you so that you can drink it once you wake up!

4. Look through your ‘list’ that you made earlier in the day. (in class, pt. 6)

you might want to spend max 10 mins updating your schedule. then stare at the dreaded homework. start with the easiest and least time consuming to build up momentum. this could actually be the remainder of what you’ve finished in school. then look at the due dates. do them in order of due dates. unless it’s a huge project or assignment, you might want a head start on it!

5. With the remaining time, you should start revising

review the day’s learning AGAIN.

make notes/mindmaps/flashcards whatever works for you. you should prioritise the subject or chapter that you were most confused about. quickly revise and try to clear up any questions you have about the chapter. if you have additional time, go ahead and make notes for the next subject! another way is going through corrections and clarifying your doubts with friends/teachers, and summarise the day’s learning on a post-it or two. if you’ve already taken notes in class, look at other sources e.g textbook and combine what you’ve learnt before re-writing or re-organising your notes.

1. Pack your bag!

remove unnecessary materials, and pack the necessary one. make sure your bag isnt too heavy. you can choose to hand carry some files or binders if they’re too bulky, but make sure you’re all packed before the next morning

2. Have a meal & clean up

again, basic necessities. don’t go to bed hungry or feeling icky because thats not how you treat yo self!

Before class:

if you’re going to continue on a chapter, review the content that came before it. Try to make your own connections between the already learnt and to-be learnt content so that you’re mentally ready for class.

In class:

take down notes, highlight, annotate and DRAW DIAGRAMS. you can’t do sciences without diagrams. for physics or chemistry which require more calculation, copy down the problems your teacher goes through and solve them along with him/her. write the formulas on a post it note so you can stick it onto the page where you’re writing for easy reference. if the teacher plays a video which is MOST DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU you have to write only the relevant points in the most abbreviated form possible.

Note-taking:

I find that linear notes help me most in sciences. for chapters that involve lots of interconnected processes, for example o chem, then mindmaps or flowcharts will be helpful. also if you tend to forget something, post-it that stuff on the front page of your notes where you are FORCED to stare at it. yes. write down example problems and their steps, then write explanations for each step so that if you’re confused you can always refer back. again, draw any required diagrams.

Answering techniques:

if there’s a ‘standard’ way to answer it then you have to make sure you follow that way even in your homework because it’s muscle memory. when you get to exams, your hand will automatically write in the same format so you don’t lose marks or spend time recalling the correct format.

imo sciences are quite logical so as long as you remember and follow the flow you’ll be fine!

In class:

copy key terms, facts and examples and write all examples that the teacher has gone through. write all formulas and definitions on a post it, then shift it around the pages as needed. if there’s a type of problem you particularly suck at, ask your teacher for help IMMEDIATELY because it’s so easy to forget the steps to a problem.

At home:

do your homework, do additional practice, correct your mistakes, clarify, and repeat. memorise formulas and definitions (perhaps using flashcards or post its) then practice more and make sure your concepts are strong. there’s no easy way and sadly this is all i can comment.

In class:

copy down notes, think actively, and if you’re given a sample essay you should annotate the heck out of it and keep it somewhere safe.

For essays:

read up more and write up. befriend the best writer in class and ask for their essays. write essay plans and consult your teacher. brainstorm possible approaches with friends. read the news, and copy the links of interesting online articles for future reference. have a go-to list of examples and quotes you can use, for any and every topic. read these like your bedtime story and never forget to keep updating them.

For comprehension passages:

read the questions first. then you’ll be more sensitive to what you need to read in the passage and how you need to analyse it. try to question yourself about how and why the author does something or makes you feel something. do not rush-read the passage or you will fail horribly (personal experience). do one or two extra comprehensions and ask your teacher to mark them.

In class:

ARROWS TO LINK EVERYTHING and annotate any class notes given. write down new examples provided by the teacher. if there is a link you ‘can check out’ go check it out. it’s probably something thats gonna be on the exam.

At home:

you have to rely on mindmapping and flow charts because everything is linked in some way and you cannot ignore those links!!!! although i do my humanities notes in linear form, my in class notes are all in the form of mindmaps. and actually i revise from those in a pinch because i can see everything at one go. watch vids on the concepts, for example plate tectonics. those things are so hard to see when they’re deadass sitting on the page and not budging. watch a video where they really move instead of being frozen.

If you’re so frickin lost:

watch more videos on the concepts, watch more videos on the events, search up interpretations online and ask your teachers!!! for everyone who gets equally lost as me when i’m faced with a new chapter, another way is to pre-read before the teacher starts teaching. if you’re lazy to read just watch a couple clips on it so that at least you have some background. even if you wake up the next day with 0 concrete memory, which you won’t, you’ll already have the flow of things which will help you if you’re usually the straggler.

(disclaimer i study geography although i've tried history and english literature but i think that they're similar to some extent, especially on how to study them)

#study #studyblr #studying #coralstudiies #revision #study motivation #notes #study tips #study advice #studying tips #studying advice #high school #lectures #tips #advice

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whats-the-story-tc · 4 years

Text

13th-15th of May, 2020

"The One Where the Mask Drops"

[INCREDIBLY LONG SORRY]

Hey, I'm not dead! And to show you how incredibly not dead I am, let me tell you a story.

It's around 2 AM that Wednesday, I'm going to sleep. God knows I'm incredibly exhausted, but there's one last thing I needed to write into my diary. One last thing I couldn't go to sleep without.

"please be good to me today"

I went to sleep hoping that finally, after two weeks of feeling like shit when I thought about us, the tide would turn.

That morning, it rained. I immediately remembered a rainy Wednesday morning just like this two months ago, when the rain brought V back to me. I got very excited. Things were going to change for the better again, I felt it. Suddenly, I couldn't wait for class.

8:30 AM that morning, I'm getting ready for my 9 AM class. Google Classroom–notif. V. Private message. Uh-oh, I thought. The make-or-break moment, and not a minute too soon.

V: Thank you very much for your work!

I almost laughed out loud. "Wow, [Name], don't strain yourself!" I remember saying as I read it.

One infuriatingly boring English (as a foreign language) class later, it was time for V's class. I was ready five minutes in advance, but as I went on The Platform That Shall Not Be Named... no one was there. I found it odd. Usually, there are a couple of us by now. Anyway, I didn't enter the voice channel. I waited five minutes in solitude outside for someone to show up.

Well, V did. And I wasn't very well going to leave her alone, now, was I?

She greeted me 0.1 second after I joined. I tried not to be awkward about it just being the two of us, I immediately stroke up a conversation. I told her how I was already waiting, all the stuff you guys already know, and she asked if we had any lessons prior. I told her about one third of us having had English just now. We spent about two minutes alone together, as I rambled about the awkward and unfortunate situation and she listened, mostly in silence.

She was very audibly tired, and said very little, that much was to be expected from a 10 AM class. But... I might just be overthinking it, but I heard something there that concerned me. Something crushed and disappointed, something that told me she wasn't expecting only one person to show. There was something painfully lonely in that voice.

Bookworm Friend joined, about 3-ish minutes into class, and Debate Friend a minute or two later, but they were both muted, so I carried on. I asked V to tell us what happened in school in the past two days, what we missed out on, enthusiastically replying to everything I could, so she wouldn't feel like she was speaking into the abyss, so she'd know I was trying my hardest to be there for her. Then she brought up the tests she was correcting at the moment, even naming a really stupid mistake she encountered with a little laugh. But what really smacked me in the gut was when I brought up the small attendance, and she said: "There's nothing we can do." in this very melancholy voice, like she was giving up. She even texted the class group chat that she's waiting.

How do I know that she wasn't just simply tired, and that's why she sounded like that, so worn and discouraged, especially at first? Because as soon as the others, who don't belong in my friends' circle, started showing up, her voice and entire behaviour did a 180°, as if she suddenly woke up. But she didn't. I know for a fact she didn't. Nobody just wakes up that suddenly.

It took me until that afternoon to realise that I'd just spent 5 minutes with the real V, the same V I spoke to in early December, who didn't try to hide her emotions. Not from me.

If you only heard the next thirty minutes of class, you could never tell she was feeling sad to begin with. And there was a LOT to be heard. Starting with how she mispronounced "cheat somebody out of sth" as "EAT somebody out", which is... well... all I'm saying is, I fell on my knees and tried to laugh as silently as I could. Prime moment.

She said something along the lines of "We're all very sober here", after which I just texted my friends:

S: "Darling, you tell us drinking stories every two weeks, would you mind if I didn't believe you?"

and sometime after, this text was also sent, for which I will not be offering context:

S: "[Name], that was enough sex for 10 AM, I'm gonna pass out"

And, of course, after all that went down, V saying "you can't satisfy everyone" sounded VERY different.

At some point, I attempted to joke around, but as she was reading a message in the chat that was sent at the same time, I got quite the half-assed response. But what happened in the last five minutes? Oh, that changed everything.

Art Friend knew how upset I was that V didn't reply at all to my assignment, and I told her I wanted to talk to V about it. During class, she texted me if I still wanted it, and I told her no, because I'm no longer upset with her. And what does this madwoman do? SHE ASKS ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENTS.

V is absolutely enthusiastic, she goes on about how much she liked what she saw and how creative we were. Art Friend asks about hers. Then comes my leap of faith. It's now, or never.

"I hope I didn't go too far..." I said, a bit nervous, not knowing how she'd react. She never did like me trying to undermine myself. And you guys... she chuckled. Incredibly soft and warm and just what I needed to feel at ease. That already threw me off, but then, she followed it up with: "No, I really-really liked it." I could tell she was smiling on the other side of the screen and that she was completely honest. I had to sit down after that, because I just couldn't believe what I heard. That I really just witnessed all that, that I got a reaction I couldn't overthink and/or misinterpret, because I heard it with my own two ears, in real time. I felt like I could do anything in the world.

And yet, the next day, I didn't do my usual notes for her test. Because what did Specs do all evening instead? I was fucking singing. I couldn't deny being a goddamn theatre kid if I tried.

Friday. The day of the test. I'm restlessly taking notes in the morning, but I don't have the time to get into the analytics of poems, only the basics of the dude's life and works. It makes me incredibly frightened, because V's tests are only easy if you come prepared — if you have no clue what she's talking about, abandon all hope. I had absolutely everything open for cheating that I could open, and you guys? I lucked out. Most of the test was just "Explain what [insert quote] means in 2-3 sentences", and if there's something I excel at, as you've probably noticed, it's talking. It was easy as could be.

The only thing making me anxious were my classmates. They were all trying to ask for help, constant questions and begging, everyone is hopeless, because they couldn't give two shits about preparing beforehand. They were all assured some loser was gonna give them the answers. And the some loser was me. I gave it to them, everything except for the final, longer essay. That was private, only meant for V to read. After all, how was I supposed to show them my essay, that ends like this?:

"Even if our existence is finite, it's always worth fighting for happiness."

And yes, yes it is. Always. Look at me. I powered through weeks of a shitstorm, where every single day felt like years, where I no longer knew or cared what was going to happen. And let me tell you, the sun always shines beyond the clouds. You just can't see it yet. But GOD, you will. You will.

I needed time to write this. There's loads going on at the moment, not necessarily V-related, and I'm trying to work my way through it gently enough that I can make it the end sane and healthy. Currently, it's three weeks since all this happened. One and a half weeks left until school ends. I might get to see V in person again, but we'll see how it goes. All I know is that whatever happens, I can do it. Because even if my existence is finite, it's always worth fighting for happiness.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

#tc #tcc #teacher crush community #female tc #female teacher crush

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echotovalley · 4 years

Text

so because I’m taking a writing break but still super needy

I figured I would post this outline for a pokemon au that I’m never going to write. it’s basically notes from a conversation I had back in early 2018? Imagine my surprise going back now and realizing this might read much like Detective Pikachu - cubone is just my favorite pokemon

***before we get into anything please know that while I play pgo and I’ve learned LOTS of new pokemon, I’m still the most familiar and attached to the og 150 + 1. I also probably get a lot of canon pokemon rules and history wrong but my heart is in the right place

reblogs appreciated! | come talk at me about your thoughts or literally anything

premise: keith might not be a pokemon person

but pokemon are definitely a keith person

- for unknown reasons keith docks in cuba, he's kind of just been getting work and moving moving always moving because one place never works out for long. pokemon are everywhere but it's not his thing.

it never happened for him besides why would he make an animal be saddled with him? there's no stability there. and again, he's always moving. through so many different regions.

he doesn't have the heart to yank a sandshrew onto a barge across the atlantic or a charmander up the northeast coast of the US. he can barely take care of himself. and it's weird by now. to not have a pokemon by now. they were everywhere and so normalized.

they were part of everyday school curriculum and even in hospitals and rescue stations. which is another reason why he never stayed in one place very long because not having a pokemon didn't incite people to trust you.

bc even team rocket (team rocket still sounds so much better than team galra but team rocket is the galra) had pokemon that bonded and trusted them.

he gets a room and some horrible job on the coast and basically just gets by. tries not to cause trouble or get caught or encourage rattatas or a caterpie to follow him home because they could still smell half the lunch he didn't eat tucked in his bag

- i'm plotting by the seat of my pants but what really kick-started all of this was the thought of Keith finding a wounded cubone in the middle of the night.

it's too dark and raining to tell what animal or pokemon attacked it or if it was a person that fractured the skull he wore enough for a piece to break off along the jaw

the cubone sustained a mean looking scrape to its face and this is not what keith needs right now but he can tell the cubone's crying and kind of just accepted what's happened and it keeps pawing at the missing piece in the skull and keith may not actively interact with pokemon but he doesn't hate them and he still has a heart.

he's docked in cuba and his spanish just gets him by to get food and money and not anger anyone

he didn't think the barge's docking region through all of the way so he's got a cubone to help with rudimentary spanish that sucks on the best day but he's going to try and get the cubone help

he starts rushing through streets and people's yards because he could have swore the town had a gym he passed but in the dark and rain it takes him a full hour to find the gym.

- duh it's closed but he's at least going to bang on the doors and hopefully it's going to set off an alarm or something

the police will show up or someone will be able to take the cubone where it needs to go. his hand is numb from knocking as hard as he could before the door is whooshed open and someone is spitting rapid fire spanish like venom and he thinks he manages to get out that he can really only speak english and shoves the cunbone into their hands.

before he knows it, he's being yanked by his collar into the gym and down hallways and finally into the blinding lights of the pokemon center on sight.

there's more spanish and faces that look so similar that its clear it's a family that runs the gym.

- beep beep guess who's family owns and runs the gym

the pokecenter is actually a rehabilitation center founded and run by the McClain family for several generations

he gets questioned after the cubone is taken back behind the doors and it takes someone repeatedly snapping their fingers in front of his face to get him to come back to the conversation.

his name's keith, he's from the US, he just found the cubone - no he doesn't know if it has an owner, doesn't even know if it’s wild or if it has a nearby pack or how it got hurt or how long it’s been hurt.

but keith,

keith is his name and he can at least answer that.

he stays there over night and finds out that Marco is the one that answered the door. Veronica is the one to actually examine him because he looks like he's about to pass out.

their mother is the one to assure him the cubone would be fine - her daughter Rachel attends to injured pokemon and gets another son Luis to show Keith to a room in their house and keith passes out the second he stumbles to a bed.

- in the morning, when he goes to the bathroom and is in the middle of washing his hands, another son is banging on the door for Marco to get out of the bathroom and that's the first time he meets lance

when Keith yanks the door open he tells him to freaking stop because he's clearly not marco.

an older man, probably come to break up a fight, stops and blinks at keith before shouting over his shoulder about not remembering having or getting another kid (arthur "and who are you???" weasley style)

(our boy Lance has a minor panic about the cute random guy is his bathroom at 8 a.m.)

Keith gets shoved down at a table covered in food for breakfast and can't keep up he definitely has a headache and is ready to throw himself through a window when he's asked about his pokemon and if they need help too

he doesn't have pokeman and never has had one and isn't really interested and this family has centered their entire lives around it

- he sees the cubone again, in recovery and it paws a little at his hands in thanks

over the next few days, he stays with them and somehow gets roped into doing chores around the facility and given an assigned seat at their table for meals and he's just T H R O W N

they literally have an arbok taking a nap in a hammock in their backyard and a pod of seadras in an olympic pool in the gym just hanging out (doing little races between each other or chasing each other)

a vulpix he learns belongs to one of the McClain siblings (Rachel) sunbathes and sniffs at his feet while he’s working in the yard

and there's a persian destroying blinds in the living room window and a charizard in the kitchen

and some random small children he learns are marco's are throwing or shooting across the floor fridge magnets as a game with a magnemite

- begrudgingly on McClain’s part, keith’s assigned to Lance for being shown around the rehab center

lance takes him to the beach and out into the middle of the ocean on a boat

Keith: "this is where you feed me to a gryados"

Lance: "close"

and a freaking L A P RA S pops up out of the water and clicks at lance and makes little waves in his direction and they do a damn forehead touch he's crazy this is crazy

Keith: "YOU HAVE A LAPRAS???!!!!" - because even keith who doesn’t do pokemon knows what the heck a lapras is

Lance "I don't have a lapras. Nobody owns her. We just give her her room and protect or heal her when she needs it"

- the next few weeks see lance having to admit keith isn’t so bad and that just because he doesn’t have a pokemon, it doesn’t mean he actively dislikes them

the cubone is attached to keith - despite his bad attitude, lance says

this is the initial thought that kicked this off: keith asks if they have a 3D printer and once the cubone's injury is fully healed, he makes a mold for the missing piece and fits it in place

lance denies crying

"you've done one (1) good thing, kogane"

- then the real plot kicks in when the lapras is captured and taken from the beach by team rocket

lance blames keith because of the timing, because of keith's vague answers on where he's from, why he has no friends or family, no pokemon

insert painful, raw, yelled, "I TRUSTED YOU"

keith convinces him he's not part of team rocket and the main story starts where lance and keith leave to go after the lapras and return her to cuba.

- before they leave, rachel throws a pokeball at keith "i think your cubone might like this one"

and lance's eyes get huge because he knows what it is and then a pokemon is coming out of the pokeball

and it's a marowak

the cubone very carefully and slowly approaches her and the marowak just watches and waits. the cubone brushes its bone across the marowak's foot and then approaches and okay keith's eyes definitely water as he watches this marowak kind of take in the cubone.

(THE CRITICAL HIT COMES WHEN THE CUBONE EVENTUALLY EVOLVES. I like to think maybe through poke-magic the skull fixes itself when he evolves and the cubone hands the 3d mold back to keith and gets keith to put it on a chain safe for his skin to wear the 3d mold piece still)

- obv they get the lapras back,

they find out keith's mom was a double agent ofc for the team rocket faction that took the lapras

they meet hunk and pidge and allura and coran and romelle and others along the way to take down team rocket because what’s a pokemon au without the power of friendship

- keith and lance wait at the airport in cuba

it's for shiro, he had let keith travel because he saw that keith needed to find room to grow and find who he was

obviously keith is not 10. he and lance are 17.

anyways he rushes keith and pulls him into a big hug and tells keith how proud of him he is

the first thing lance tells shiro is about the time keith almost stepped on an exeggcute and how they chased him

or the time he almost sustained a skull fracture from a taurus and the time a seel thought keith was its mom

there was also that time with a magby-

keith: “OKAY LANCE WE GET IT THANK YOU”

BONUS:

keith being mildly terrified of the pokemon hanging around the McClain properties

Lance: "if you want to lay in the hammock just move him"

Keith: "just move him?! it's an arbok not a lap dog"

a nest of torchicks gets laid in the backyard and follows keith for two days after they hatch and lance laughs so hard he cries because keith can't shake them and he winds up tripping and they all jump on top of him

keith might not have been a pokemon person

but pokemon are definitely a keith person

#klance #Keith Kogane #Lance McClain #Voltron #VLD #writing tag

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far-off-flower-fields · 4 years

Text

Weird Questions that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? We call elementary school primary school. It depended which teachers you asked, my favourites always said I was “conscientious, kind, and a pleasure to have in class”.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Glass cups or bottles.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? I have like 4 looks, pastel, boho, and goth/witchy/grunge, also vintage-inspired which wasn’t mentioned but I love it.

7. earbuds or headphones? Depends on the shape, I love my Razr headset because it doesn’t squash my ears, and I like galaxy bud shaped earbuds, the ones with the little rubber doo-dads that fit actually in your ear. Apple or a lot of older flat earbuds cause me a lot of pain.

8. movies or tv shows? TV shows. Movies are getting longer and longer and my focus is getting shorter and shorter

9. favorite smell in the summer? Rainy days!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? The game of queue-ducking (where you go to the back of the queue to avoid your turn), or dance, or the less strength intensive parts of gymnastics. Or crying, always been great at that xD

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Muesli, or nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I prefer to listen to full albums rather than playlists, but I have a few favourites on Spotify. Born to Run 150BPM, Infinite Indie Folk, Irish Folk: Jigs and Reels, All Out 80s/90s/00s. I also love scene/pop-punk playlists.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key Ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Message Hearts (or anything with that texture), the red pack of starbursts (the UK version is vegan). Does Turkish Delight count because if so then that is my fave. I also like gummies if they’re vegan.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? To Kill a Mockingbird (high school), or The Bloody Chamber (uni), or Hamlet (uni)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? One foot under me, the other foot out to the other side, but both in the same position (if the surface is flat), or knees up.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? I own a lot of shoes so there isn’t really a single pair I wear the most. Recently my Air Force 1s, I’m trying to wear them in because the previous owner didn’t so the cause blisters.

18. ideal weather? Cold, overcast, rainy, still. Or without the rain. or snow (as long as I’m not going in the car and I can go crunch my shoes in it xD

19. sleeping position? Either side, but my body is kinda rotated towards the bed so it’s like half way between on my stomach and on my side.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebooks

21. obsession from childhood? Animals, dinosaurs, goddesses, magic, crystals, neopets, sims. I still love all of these things, I am a rotating door of obsessions, usually a bunch of the same obsessions on repeat.

22. role model? I don’t have one particular role model, I do have tons of people that I love and respect.

23. strange habits? I have so many strange habits that I have become one myself. Nothing actually stands out though because 99% of it is because of my brain.

24. favorite crystal? rose quartz or moonstone.

25. first song you remember hearing? Maybe Dancing Queen by ABBA, definitely the first I remember dancing to, but my dad loves music so I grew up with a constant stream of it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Suffer xD when I’m able to do so comfortably I’d love to go out looking for pretty stones, and nice sticks with my fiance, also would like to go on picnics with him, or a friend if I had one.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Baking, drawing, crafts, standing in the rain. Everything.

28. five songs to describe you? 6/10 - Dodie Robert Frost - Mal Blum Caught in the Middle - Paramore Side Effects - Jade Bird Snitches Get Stitches - Onsind Bonus track: The Seed - Aurora I wish I still had the playlist I made of songs I relate to, several of these were on it though.

29. best way to bond with you? Oversharing, or telling me about things you’re into.

30. places that you find sacred? Nature. My favourite spots are little creeks/rivers in wooded areas, but just like, all of it is special and should be treated as such. Also bedrooms.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I think maybe I’m not gutsy or whatever enough, but also unpredictable. I wear whatever I like, and I’m just as likely to cry in all of them as I am to accidentally get in a fight.

32. top favorite vines? I feel so basic because I never really did the vine thing. There was one that nearly killed me because I literally started to choke that was in some kind of office and the bit like can you run this past me again, and they just fucking legged it past them holding a folder up, Saw it once, never saw it again. Road work ahead. Why you can’t lift a house (might be a tok?) Brass dad and oven kid Look at this graaaaph Never learned how to read I can’t sit I have hemorrhoids The one with the people in blankets bobbing the nana nanana song Fr esh avo ca do Look at all these chickens

33. most used phrase in your phone? I love you - if I had to guess

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? right now, nothing. I often get the old Super Liquor jingle lodged in there though.

35. average time you fall asleep? 6am?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Charlie the unicorn or that one Noodles video by Cyanide and Happiness. Are those even memes?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. I mostly use a bag though since I never go anywhere for long.

38. lemonade or tea? Tea? Usually if you ask for lemonade here you get Sprite which is not lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I had a vegan lemon meringue pie once, so good. Cake is easier to make though, and I can eat more in one sitting without getting sick xD

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Um, the principal in my last year of school got caught for being a peeping tom a few years after I left.

41. last person you texted? My Fiance.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Depends on the rest of the outfit and the weather. I wear Jean jackets most though.

44. favorite scent for soap? I love lavender, or vanilla/candy/fruity/baked goods type scents. I still have a bottle of Sugar Fairy spray from lush from a year ago and I love the smell of that.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy I think.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nekkid?

47. favorite type of cheese? As a kid it was feta. Now I only eat vegan cheese. I was never a huge cheese fan tbh.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Rotten xD um probably a cranberry or something because I’m small, and I’m not a fan of cranberry.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? An it harm none do what you will. Or treat others as you wish to be treated.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Probably one of the vines I listed above, either “run it past” or “can’t lift a house” because both of those resulted in crying and choking.

51. current stresses? My cat has been throwing up and having diarrhoea the past week or so, she’s been to the vet, it got better for a bit, but tonight suddenly got worse. Living with my parents who I have a very toxic relationship with. Living in a single very overfilled room. Trying to not spend money so that I can save up to move next year. Nightmares about my trauma. Either the house is haunted or there’s a build up of negative energy (probably that).

52. favorite font? I always liked the look of all of the script style fonts (freestyle, french, lucida, lucida calligraphy, Edwardian, Palace) but they’re not accessible so for anything people will actually see (which is literally nothing) I always go with arial.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Slight rash on one finger because I’m sensitive to what is in a lot of hand washing products apparently (never an issue until the pandemic), one broken finger nail that is a bit shorter than the rest. Not painted nails because energy. I always wear my engagement ring, usually I wear several other rings but with how my skin is being I thought I’d better not for a while.

54. what did you learn from your first job? Bakeries are hell, my circadian rhythm will not adjust to anything besides its natural state for longer than a couple of days at a time no matter how long or hard I try. I can absolutely fall asleep standing up.

55. favorite fairy tale? Ugly Duckling

56. favorite tradition? I don’t have anyway... Yet? Hopefully when I move this can become a thing.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I’m interpretting overcome loosely here, meaning “I have not died from this” - Suicide of my first love - Bullying - 3 different jobs that all nearly killed me

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Literally can’t think of one. I’m not talented. I’m passable at a couple of things, but I worked for those things and I’m still not good enough for anyone to confuse me for being talented xD Those things I care about that I’ve worked on a lot are singing, art, languages, crafts? I still struggled to come up with 4. My bad.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Aw jeez xD

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Magical Girl! This is an easy one, give me the powers and the clothes yessss.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Literally sitting here drawing a blank, so instead of favourite here is the first one that came into my head “eyes are the genitals of the head” (may have that wrong, I’m watching the Office for the first time rn)

62. seven characters you relate to? Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Amelie from Amelie Matilda from Matilda Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notredame (also my favourite plush as a kid) Iris - The Holiday Jess - New Girl Amelia Shepherd - Grey’s Anatomy Struggled with this because suddenly I drew a blank and also couldn’t remember who my Fiance was talking about every time he’s watched a character and said “that’s you” repeatedly.

63. five songs that would play in your club? Starlight - Superman Lovers Pump It - Black Eyed Peas I Bet that You Look Good on the Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys All the Things She Said - tATu Doctor Jones - Aqua Bonus: Push Up - Freestylers These are ones I have memories of dancing to when I was younger so that’s how I picked, but I’d absolutely be a themed night club with different music on different nights.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Neopets, which I still play daily. The first I played was MaMaMedia, then Bubblegum Club.

65. any permanent scars? That’s a SORE subject heh get it heh

66. favorite flower(s)? Lavender, rose, peony

67. good luck charms? I usually carry gemstones if I’m needing to be particularly lucky, or sigils.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I hate anything spicy. I had rootbeer candy that tasted like literal dirt. I can’t eat banana stuff without gagging and getting a headache. I hate anything that is artificial blackberry or blackcurrant, tastes like shitty cough syrup.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Sea Monkeys breathe through their feet, but I remember where I learned that.

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? depends entirely on the colours, I like patterns. but certain stripes do make my eyes feel funny.

72. worst subject? If PE counts, then that. If not, math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I love pineapple on pizza but that’s not weird. Iused to eat cheese and jam sandwiches as a kid though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I operate on how long it has lasted instead of how bad it is, essentially I get so desperate so I’ll try it even though it probably won’t help. I have the resistance of a rhino to most meds.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? No idea, like 4 I think? I did keep them in a weird little box for no reason though because they never got taken away from under my pillow.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I’m a fan of a good mash if it has lots of flavour (like gravy). Otherwise, crisps or fries.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I grew a radish once! Something cat safe though these days, also maybe something heavy, and hard to knock over?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery Store sushi, if it’s just veg.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My only ID is my passport, and it is BAD.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Both.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies (ten million of them to be precise)

82. pc or console? Grew up with PC. Now play my switch mostly.

83. writing or drawing? Both. Wrote more as a kid, draw more now.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Both. But I prefered pollies as a kid

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cupcakes

87. your greatest fear? Based on my nightmares, stairs.

88. your greatest wish? To live in a comfy house, in the country, with my Fiance, I have travelled the world, we have pets, I can function, we are free.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My Fiance and out animals.

90. luckiest mistake? Can’t think of any, most of my mistakes have been more like bad choices, also never turned out well for me.

91. boxes or bags? Depends what it’s for?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? lamps, or fairy lights. Unless I’m particularly anxious, then overheads.

93. nicknames? None.

94. favorite season? Winter

95. favorite app on your phone? LINE, it has my fiance, and animated stickers.

96. desktop background? Little Twin Stars

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My own.

I never get asks and needed to distract myself so I’m going to just answer these anyway, like a survey or something. Original post by tr33-g1rl

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joyful-voyager · 4 years

Text

Today’s Storytime

So. When I was in 9th or 10th grade -- 14 or 15 years old -- I had to take my P.E. credit during summer school so I could fit in other electives during the school year. This wasn’t unusual in my hometown; summer school was not punitive so much as it was a way to fulfill low-key requirements like Phys Ed, Driver’s Ed, Health & Wellness, etc. Most college-bound kids took at least one summer school term in high school so that there would be time for more academic electives during the school year.

Consequently, Phys Ed in summer school was always packed. I think there were probably 50 kids in my course, split pretty evenly between boys and girls. Summer Phys Ed was also WAY more fun than the in-school version. The class was two hours every day for six weeks. We got to be outside a lot, and we did fun units like Archery and Bowling and Martial Arts -- things that sometimes required a bus ride and couldn’t be done during the regular school day.

We also did a two-week Swimming unit in the high school pool at the end of the six weeks. The teachers split us up by skill level for that unit, so a small group of kids got basic swimming lessons from a couple of local swim teachers, the majority got water safety training from lifeguards, and the rest of us, the most skilled swimmers in the group, got to do basic lifeguard training with a Red Cross instructor without having to pay for an actual lifeguarding class.

I was/am a really good swimmer. We spent most summers of my childhood in northern lower Michigan and we had a boat, so my folks made darn sure we were all strong swimmers from a young age. I started swimming competitively when I was 7 or 8 years old and did so all the way through high school. There were two or three other Swim Club kids in my P.E. class that year, including one really unassuming guy who would go on to swim in college three years later.

At the end of the Swimming unit, the P.E. teachers decided we should have a simulated swim meet on the last day. Everybody got assigned to an event or two. Some of them were just for fun and geared toward the least experienced swimmers. Simple things like retrieving a weight from the deep end of the lap pool, which was only six feet deep. (We had a separate 14-foot diving well.) There were also traditional races for those of us who were good swimmers. I think I did a couple of those, probably 50-meter butterfly and 50-meter freestyle, which were two of my regular club meet events. The last event on the schedule was a 200-meter freestyle relay, with each of four kids doing a 50-meter leg.

Now, I have to backtrack here to say that also in my P.E. class that summer, there was a handful of campus jocks. You know the type: The three-sport athletes who wear their jerseys and letter jackets to school every day and are revered by the student body and the faculty alike. I grew up in central Indiana, so the most revered of those boys were basketball players, but the football guys were right behind. That handful of boys had dominated the P.E. class that summer. Just owned every contest, every game, every match. It was tiresome. Very, very tiresome. Some of us were a little better at the obscure sports, like Pickleball and Badminton, but one of these guys had never picked up a tennis racket in his life before and still won the tennis tournament at the end of the unit.

It was dead irritating.

So we got to the end of the Swimming unit, which was the last unit of the summer, and the 200-meter relay rolled around. I looked at the relay teams that the P.E. teachers picked, and realized that they put the best of these campus jocks all on one team ... but there was also a team that had two really good swimmers on it, including the guy who went on to swim in college. I watched that guy, we’ll call him “Rick,” come to the same realization at about the same time. He sized up the competition, saw that the jock team captain, let’s call him “Eli,” had set himself up as the anchor on the jock team, and quickly refigured his own team so that he would swim the anchor against Eli.

The other club swimmer on Rick’s team swam the first leg of the race. He got out to a respectable distance, which the two middle swimmers squandered because they weren’t strong swimmers to begin with. When the third swimmer headed into his turn, Rick climbed up on the block. He turned to Eli, who had also climbed his block, and Rick, this quiet, nondescript guy, turned to Eli and winked. Eli sort of flinched, and then they were both off.

It was a thing to behold.

For six solid weeks, Eli and his cronies had dominated everything we’d done in that stupid class, and done it with a smirk and a swagger that drove everybody kind of insane. My buddy Rick couldn’t throw a baseball or shoot a free throw or catch a football to save his life. But man, could he swim.

He did the first 25 meters on one breath. By the time he kicked into his flip turn, he was two body lengths ahead of Eli, who was spluttering and slapping at the water. Rick could have floated back to the finish line on his own wave momentum and won the race, but he went all out. He put his head down and cut through that water like a knife. Then he touched the wall, popped up and sat on the deck to watch that asshole Eli flail to a distant second place finish, while the rest of us cheered and jeered. When Eli finally touched the wall, he stood up and stared at Rick like he’d never seen him before. Maybe he hadn’t. Maybe it took getting blown out of the pool by this kind of nerdy kid to make him actually see anyone other than himself in an athletic context.

And the point of the story is this: Just because you’re good at one thing, it doesn’t mean you’re good at an adjacent thing that requires a different skill set. And if you’re particularly young or inexperienced or stupid, or especially unaware of your own stupidity in a Dunning-Krueger kind of way, you might not understand that until it hits you in the face.

Eli and his buddies thought the years they had spent throwing and hitting and kicking and catching balls had made them skilled athletes rather than just good at their respective sports. That they could dominate anything that had anything to do with athletics in general. They were naive, to be sure, and inexperienced. It never occurred to them that someone who couldn’t throw or kick or catch could be a champion in their own right. They didn’t respect the work that Rick had put in in that very pool since he was five or six years old. They didn’t realize that his years of honing his skills in the water were just as rigorous as their years of honing their skills on the fields and courts.

This is true in life, of course.

I worked in magazine publishing for a long time. Once my company brought in a CEO who came from the credit card industry and didn’t know anything about publishing. The first thing she did was try to push all of our subscribers into credit card auto-renewal. Those of us who’d been in publishing for decades knew it wouldn’t work. We’d tried it. Our subscriber base was very resistant to it. But because this woman had had amazing success in the credit card industry, she thought she was a skilled businessperson, not just a good credit card executive. She nearly drove the company into bankruptcy thanks to her ignorance.

So why am I telling you these stories?

Because we’re watching this play out on the global stage, and people are dying as a result.

The occupant of the White House and his dipshit followers are convinced that because someone has a bit of business success (and in his case, even that is debatable), they’re good at everything having to do with business. That’s why the moronic task force to open the country again is populated with sports owners and big business executives. Our idiot president thinks that success in one realm means that someone must be good at adjacent realms. It’s probably why he called Alex Rodriguez for business advice. A Major League shortstop (WHO CHEATED) must have business acumen, too. “Successful” means worthy of adulation and successful in all things, not just within the narrow confines of the field of success.

And this is why we’ve got all these people who want to treat government like a business. They’re too ignorant to realize that governing and business are two entirely different things, requiring different, narrowly focused and honed skills.

Just like throwing a 90-mph fastball, and swimming a blazing fast 50-meter free.

#yeah it was about trump #he's an incompetent moron #and we're all paying the price because he failed to learn this lesson as a child #if you voted for him or still support him you can fuck right off #my uncle died on Friday #come at me #i dare you

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