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annieintheaair · 1 month

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Baby, you ain't sweet, look at what you did to me.

I don't think people talk about depression enough. It's one of those topics that people are afraid to touch. Some people, if they've never dealt with it themselves, think it's just being sad but it's a lot more than that.

I got home from work on Friday and went to yoga at noon. I didn't feel like doing much else and spent the rest of my afternoon at home. By the time 6pm hit, my mood had really shifted. I wasn't hungry to eat anything and there was nothing I wanted to watch on TV. The sun was still shining and I kept thinking that it was such a beautiful day -- warm and sunny, although a little windy. Everything in me told me I should be outside enjoying it. I sat on my patio for about ten minutes before deciding to go inside.

I took a shower, put on my pajamas, and by 7pm, I was in bed. I put on a movie knowing that I wouldn't actually watch it so I set the sleep timer. I didn't wake up again until around 7:30am on Saturday. Part of it all was because I was tired after barely sleeping all week because of work, but then another huge part of it was the fact that depression took over me. Even though the sun had been shining outside, the sun inside me was gone, and a storm was raging.

I've spent the greater part of the last nearly 14 years being somewhat ok. I've worked with therapists and I take anti-depressants to help me when therapy alone doesn't work. Both of those things are great and help me get through the day-to-day, but then, there are times, when the pain of the world feels overwhelming. I'm stuck in a storm that feels like it has no end. I don't see any rainbows in the distance, just this dark, grey cloud over my head.

I've written here before about the things I do when I'm sad but sometimes it feels like nothing works and all I can do for myself is take a temporary break from everything. Friday night, I knew I needed to sleep it off. I temporarily deactivated all of my social media and turned off my phone. I felt like that was the best thing for me at that moment.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I still wasn't feeling super motivated but I was no longer in the really dark place that I had been in on Friday night. I can't say I accomplished much during the day but by the afternoon, I was finally hungry to eat something. I went to get poké and then came home and ate it.

I had posted in a Facebook group to see if anyone wanted to join me to see the movie Someone Like You but no one replied so by 6pm, I bought the ticket and went by myself. The movie started off saying, "If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s worth it.” I knew in that moment that there was a reason why I needed to see that movie.

The theme of the movie was hope, which was just what I needed. I enjoyed a couple of cocktails and had a nice night alone. I really liked the movie and I was glad that I went even though it took everything I had in me to get myself out of the house to go alone. I used to have no problem going to the movies alone but after months of having someone to share a blanket with and hold hands at the movies, it felt a little weird and empty going alone.

This morning, I drove forty minutes to a church for a singles Bible study and then attended the service. I met some really nice people and Dr. Phil was talking at the service so I was able to listen to him, too.

During the Bible study, they talked about clarity, and leaving places and situations when it's necessary to let go. They also talked about staying in places even when it's hard and you think the grass is greener on the other side. Even when there's a famine in the place we're in, it's better to stay there than to leave. God puts us where he wants us and even though it's hard sometimes, he has a purpose and a plan for all of us.

All of it made me reflect on the last year. I left a place where I was comfortable because I thought that I needed to leave. Maybe I was never supposed to leave. Sometimes, following Jesus is doing uncomfortable things though, so maybe I did need to leave. This year of being away from the people and places I loved offered me clarity that I probably wouldn't have found if I had stayed. Leaving made me thankful for all that I left behind, and hope to return to soon.

In the service, they also talked about how the strongest people are usually the people who have been through the most. I think, even though sometimes I struggle, I am really strong. In all of the things I've been through, I've become closer to God. When all the things and people in the world fail you, God will never fail you.

After church, I braved Costco and picked up a few things. I even treated myself to a slice of pizza. Costco pizza always brings me back to my childhood when my dad used to take us and if we weren't full from the samples, we'd get pizza.

Coming full circle, the thing about depression is that you'll have good days and bad days, and some days that are just ok. This weekend was a lot of down and up and leveling out. It offered me a lot of time to reflect on things. While endings are always sad, God knows what's best for us and he would never take anything away from us that was meant for us. God has a plan, and even though I get impatient at times, I know he's looking out for me and will never, ever fail me. Afterall, he hasn't failed me yet.

xoxo

Annie

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plaidbooks · 3 years

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Witness Protection - part 2

A/N: And here’s the conclusion (for now)! I didn’t do the reunion with the squad, but if anyone wants that, I could. Again, I split the story in two, so this takes place right after last part. Hope you enjoy!

Part 1

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Words: 2716

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandblacktea @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas @qvid-pro-qvo @averyhotchner

There weren’t a whole lot of applicants—most people worked at the grocery store or in one of the other little shops in town. But Mike’s eyes lit up when one day, you came in, resumé in your hand.

“Hello! I hope you’re still looking for help? I’d like to apply,” you said, a bright smile on your face.

Mike grinned back, holding his hand out for your resumé. He scanned it quickly, noticing your name, the fact that you were close in age, and seeing that you’ve worked in customer service before.

“I am, yes. Tell me; do you know the difference between a mystery novel and a thriller?” he asked. He wasn’t going to throw you—or anyone—into that position like Gerry had to him. He’d vet you at least a little bit first.

You scrunched up your face as you thought about it, and Mike thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. “Well, I don’t have a dictionary definition for you, but in my opinion, mystery novels are more of a…whodunit. It’s the puzzles, the twists and turns until the villain is revealed at the end. Thriller is more…the game between the protagonist and villain. It focuses more on the tension, rather than figuring out who the killer is.”

Mike blinked in surprise. “That’s actually…you’re dead on. And seeing as you’re the only one who gave me a straight answer, I think you’re perfect for the job.”

“Wait, really?” you asked, your hopes soaring.

Mike nodded. “It’ll be working every day, but I’ll let you choose if you want morning or afternoon shift. Either way, I can only pay $15 an hour. If business keeps steady, though, I may be able to give you a raise down the line.”

“What’re the hours?” you queried. The pay would be fine for your little house. Plus, the owner was waaay too cute.

Mike blushed. “Right, that would be useful information, wouldn’t it?” You laughed and he chuckled. “Morning shift is 8am until 1pm. Afternoons are noon until 5pm. I don’t mind working either shift, so it’s entirely up to you and what you can do.”

“Mornings work perfectly fine for me,” you replied, smiling. You were an early bird, anyways.

Mike gave you another bright grin. “Excellent. Come back at 8am tomorrow morning, and I’ll show you the jobs the morning shift does. And welcome aboard.”

***********************

Hiring you turned out to be the best choice Mike could’ve made. You caught on quickly; by the second day, Mike didn’t even need to be there training you anymore. You were great with customers, quick with a joke, and were incredibly well-read. Like him, you often filled the empty time with reading. Though, it was less time than Mike had when working for Gerry; you had to make the coffee and tend to the bakery goods, rearranging them when things sold. And with the higher volume of people, books were left on shelves randomly, making you put them in their correct place.

But the best contribution you made was your own pastries. You told Mike you enjoyed baking, and you brought him in a cupcake one day. It was probably the best thing Mike had ever tasted in his life.

“…would you be willing to sell your confections here? I can’t give you extra time off, not unless I hire someone else. But we can have a limited amount, and once they sell out for the day, they’re out—”

“I’d love to,” you replied, smiling. “Maybe not every day, but I usually make a batch of a dozen in my free time. I could always do two dozen, or a dozen of one thing, a dozen of something else.”

Mike nodded. “How about we start off slow, only selling things on Sunday? And if it turns out to be too much work for you, we can stop.”

“Sounds like a deal, boss man.”

************************

Your Sunday Special Treats became so popular, that it was obvious one day wasn’t going to cut it. You’d open the store at 8am with two dozen cookies, and they’d be gone within an hour. It got to the point where you’d show up at your normal 7:30am, and there would be a crowd by the doors, eagerly asking which treats you brought in that day. After discussing with Mike, you agreed to bake for both Sunday and Wednesday, for a mid-week treat.

Mike even offered to come by your place after he closed the shop to help you bake, if you wanted another pair of hands.

“Just so you know, though, I’ve never baked a day in my life,” he said, chuckling.

But he was so damn cute, and you were kind of hoping for more than a work relationship with him. Which is why you replied, “I’d appreciate all the help I can get. I can teach you.”

************************

It became a biweekly routine. Tuesday and Saturday nights, Mike would come to your place, around 6pm. You would be just starting baking, and he’d wash his hands before jumping in with you. At first, it was a struggle for him to figure out what to do with all the ingredients in front of you. You handwrote all your recipes—recipes passed down through generations of your family—and Mike followed them to the letter.

“The thing with baking, like cooking, you can add a little bit of this or that if it needs it, whether it’s in the recipe or not,” you told him one night.

He gave you a smirk. “But I don’t know when something needs a little this or that.”

“You’ll get it; you’re incredibly smart, Mike.”

He ducked his head, but you saw his cheeks turn a bright pink, a grin on his face.

Working so close together, not just baking, but in the bookstore as well, it was no shock that you fell head over heels for the sweet man. And it was no surprise when he fell just as hard for you. Both of you were afraid of the implications and the power play of Mike being your boss. But it never felt like a boss/employee relationship. It was always just…a partnership.

Eventually, you stopped eating dinner before he showed up, instead offering to make dinner for him. He stopped picking things up to eat on the way to your place, opting to have dinner with you, whether homemade or takeout, it didn’t matter.

One night, you were feeling playful, and you flicked flour into Mike’s face. He gave you a look of disbelief before breaking into a grin. He threw a pinch back into your face, and you let out a laugh so pure, it had Mike’s heart melting. He was leaning against the counter next to you, close enough that your clothes were touching. Your laughter came to an end, and you glanced into his face, smiling at the white powder on his nose and cheeks.

You couldn’t say who leaned in first, but soon enough, your lips were brushing against his before he pushed his more forcefully against yours. One of Mike’s hands went to cup the back of your head, and you grabbed his shirt, holding him to you.

Suddenly, the timer dinged loudly, and you gently pulled away from him, giving him a small smile before going to pull the brownies from the oven. You didn’t mind being interrupted, though; it was the first kiss of many that you would share with Mike Jones.

***********************

It was like you were both on the fast track in your relationship. You dated for only a few months before you found a house together. You both ran the shop, Mike raising your pay—while cutting his—until you were equal. And you never thought you could be more in love with someone in your life.

One day, Mike told you that he wanted the shop closed on the next Saturday. When you asked why, he said that he needed to have an important talk with you on Friday night, and that he wanted a free day afterwards; so that you didn’t have to be in bed early, and you had time to process things. He had seemed nervous, and it wasn’t the first time it felt like there was something on his mind while he was with you.

You were slightly worried, but also excited; was he going to propose? You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but you had no other explanation to what this talk could be.

Mike came home after closing the shop on Friday evening, carrying takeout in a plastic bag. You greeted him with a kiss, and he gave you a smile. But you could see the nerves and concern in his eyes. After scooping food into a bowl, you both sat at the dining table in the kitchen.

“What I have to say isn’t…easy. And I must stress that it doesn’t leave this house, ever,” he started.

You nodded. “Whatever it is, I’m sure nothing will change, Mike.”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “My last name isn’t Jones. It’s Dodds.”

“What? All this is about a name change—”

“It’s more than that. I—I’m in witness protection.”

You sat there, stunned into silence as Mike gave you his entire life story. He gave you every little detail about himself, about growing up in New York City, about his overbearing father and his career in the Army, boxing, and the NYPD. He told you about his parent’s divorce, about his brother’s drug problems. He told you about his fiancée, about how the hit out on him was probably one of the best things that ever happened to him.

“I miss my family and squad, will always miss them. But until the Western Italian Mafia is dealt with, I can’t go home. And that syndicate is huge; I doubt I ever could go home.” He let out a small chuckle. “After meeting you, though, I don’t know if I want to go home, either.”

You looked up at him with wide eyes. “Why did you tell me all this?” you muttered, conscious of how loud you were talking. “Aren’t you supposed to keep it secret?”

“Technically, yes. Only the FBI and that doctor who pronounced me dead knows. But I…I couldn’t give you all of myself until I gave you, well, all of myself,” he explained, his expression pleading.

You felt goosebumps on your arms. “You really trust me that much?”

“Darling,” he said, shaking his head. He took your hands in his. “I trust you with my life. You’re it, the end game for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears sprung up in your eyes. “I don’t care if your name is Mike Jones, or Dodds, or anything! I love you, and only you. I want to grow old with you, too.”

The widest grin stretched across his face before he got up from his chair. He came around the table and kneeled in front of you, releasing your hands to cup your face. He used his thumbs to brush the tears from your face before pulling you to him in a kiss full of love and passion.

You leaned back slightly. “You’re safe here in California, right?”

“I should be, yes.”

You nodded. “Good, because I don’t want to lose you. And I’d fight a mafia for you.”

Mike huffed out a laugh, and you tugged him back in for another kiss.

*****************

Something that Mike learned a few months later was that his driver’s license and birth certificate were enough of an ID to get married. It was a small ceremony, just you, Mike, and your parents. You both agreed that Mike’s parents had both already passed, and he was an only child. Mike got to wear a tuxedo once more, and he dimly thought about what it would’ve been like to marry Alice back in Manhattan. But then he saw you in your simple dress, and those thoughts faded away. He had never been happier as he stood next to you, signing the marriage license, then bringing you in for a tender kiss. For legal reasons, you decided to keep your last name, but that didn’t stop him from calling you Mrs. Jones, or wifey.

*****************

It took only a month after your wedding for you to wind up pregnant. Both you and Mike were over the moon with excitement and joy. He built the nursery in your home while you made a list of baby names. You were set to have a little boy, and Mike’s only contribution was to veto William and Matthew.

“I don’t want to think about my old family—” he started, but you held up a hand.

“I understand. But what about as a middle name?”

He thought about it. “I guess that’s okay…. Have you chosen a first name yet?”

You smiled softly. “I’m thinking about my father’s name, Phillip. What do you think?”

“I like it. Which do you like more; Phillip William, or Phillip Matthew?” For the same legal reasons, Phillip would have your last name, rather than Mike’s fake one.

You gave him a look. “I chose the first name; this one is on you. Besides, I like them both.”

“You’re a lot of help,” Mike teased, chuckling.

******************

Eight months later, Phillip Matthew was born, happy and healthy. He was absolutely perfect, and neither you nor Mike could be prouder or more in love with him. Of course, you both had closed the bookstore for a week while you were in labor and afterwards, both of you doting on your newborn. And when Mike went back to work, it was for limited hours. The town was understanding, almost overtly so.

In fact, you never had to buy diapers—at least for the first few months. Your neighbors gifted you diapers, clothes, food, anything you could happen to need. The bookstore’s hours change to 8am until noon. Then it closed for an hour and reopened until 5pm. Mike worked mornings now; you were busy with Phillip and pumping milk for the afternoon. Then he’d come home, and you’d eat lunch together before you went to the bookstore, leaving Mike to watch and play with Phillip. It was a perfect arrangement, and you were both happy and in love.

Time seemed to fly by; soon enough, Phillip was crawling, then standing, then walking. He was a Daddy’s boy through and through, always following him around the house. His first word was “dada,” and Mike started taking Phillip with him on his evening jogs—he didn’t take morning jogs anymore, instead wanting to spend his mornings with you and Phillip. And when Phillip saw Mike working out, he would attempt to copy him, much to your amusement and worry.

One day, Mike was doing pushups in the living room, and Phillip couldn’t look away. He was still just under two-years-old, and he got down on his knees. You came into the room just in time to watch Phillip, on hands and knees, slam his face into the ground in an attempt at a pushup. You gasped and went to make sure he was alright, but Mike held up a hand, watching his son intently. Instead of crying, Phillip looked up at his father, waiting for praise.

“That was great, Phil. But try not to hit your head on the ground,” Mike said slowly, as if Phillip would understand what he was saying.

Mike got back in a pushup position, and Phillip followed. “Watch me, big guy,” he muttered, slowly going down to the ground. Phillip mimicked, eyes wide and locked on his dad’s grinning face. And when he pushed back up to his knees, Mike’s smile grew.

“Honey, did you see that?! Our little man did a pushup!” Mike announced, moving to sit and pulling Phillip into his lap, hugging him and murmuring encouragement.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “I can’t believe you’re having him do pushups with you. You’re going to make him a bodybuilder by five!”

Mike guffawed, picturing it. “Nah—I can get him there by age three.”

You grinned, gazing at your happy family while Mike rolled onto his back, holding Phillip at arm’s length above him.

#mike dodds x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing

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niall-is-my-dream · 5 years

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Songbird - Part One

“When Erin decides to perform one of her favourite songs at a bar, she didn’t expect one of the singers, Niall Horan, to be in the audience. What started as an appreciation for her cover quickly turns into more than either bargained for.”

(Previously known as Fools Gold, this fic has been edited, reworked and finally finished!)

Thanks to @angryniall for being an amazing beta!

As always let me know what you think.

Em x

3065 words

Niall's POV

You really hadn't wanted to go out last Friday night, you'd barely gotten over your jet lag and would have preferred to lie on the sofa watching golf. However the lads said it was going to be a quiet one, at a place with live music and that they weren't going to be late back.

You were immediately pleased with your decision to go out when this absolutely beautiful girl stepped out on stage and started singing. When she reached her final song you couldn't believe it when she sat with her guitar and sung Fools Gold. A song you'd helped write and had performed on your recent tour. You quickly started filming her, she played it well.

God was there anything better than seeing an absolutely stunning girl sitting with just a guitar and singing one of your songs.

You'd clapped when she had finished, watching her pack away her guitar, before walking off towards the bar, talking to a few people along the way. She stopped by a lad at the bar and he brought her a pint of Guinness.

She was perfect.

Was that lad her boyfriend?

She hadn't kissed him when she greeted him and she'd not sat down with him. Instead she was sat next to another couple.

"Hey Nialler, it's rude to stare!" Deo had said laughing.

"What?! Wasn't staring at anything, just looking around." You'd replied.

"She sang your song well didn't she?" Willie had said, when he realised where you'd been looking.

"Yeah, really well, was going to send it to the lads."

"Maybe go over and ask her permission before you do that?"

"Yeah, maybe." You'd nervously replied.

"Have another drink for courage mate!" He'd laughed.

And you had.

Then ten minutes later when she'd gone back to the bar, you'd looked over catching her friends eye and decided to go talk to her.

She was even better in person. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled when she spoke. You couldn't believe it when she said she'd been to your London gig, and that she liked it. She was a fan but not a crazy stalker one who waits outside tv studios for you, she was a fan who listened to your music, really listened and then learnt how to play it.

Now you were sat here, phone in hand having just received the lads response to the video recording of her singing Fools Gold. They'd loved it and said she was brilliant.

You wanted to message her, but nerves had engulfed you. It had been 5 days since you'd seen her. Had you left it too long to message? You did say you'd message once you'd heard from them all.

God why was this so hard?

You'd messaged girls before. But there was something about Erin, you hadn't stopped thinking about her.

After writing and deleting a message about ten times, you settled on keeping it simple.

"Hi Erin, the boys loved seeing the video I sent them. Hope you're ok and work isn't too busy. Niall x"

Was the kiss at the end too much?

Placing your phone next to you on the sofa and letting out a massive sigh, you browsed through the sports channels. A long and tense hour later and your phone vibrated beside you.

"Hi Niall, it's good to hear from you, glad they liked it and didn't think I was an idiot! Work isn't too busy actually, doing a few night shifts right up until Xmas eve. Hope you're enjoying your time off. Erin x"

She had put a kiss at the end. You smiled at the sight of it.

Not wanting to sound too eager to maybe spend some time with her, but not being able to help being direct, you replied with.

"Are you working over Xmas? I'm off now for a few weeks until end of January. Going home to ireland on the 23rd till the 28th. Looking forward to eating loads of my mother's cooking! X"

"Nothing better than your mother's cooking is there? I'm in on Xmas eve on the night shift till 7am then I'll go to my parents and sleep off the shift and probably stuff my face with my mother's Xmas dinner. Back in 7am on the 28th."

You let out a laugh at her reply.

"Ha! Stuff your face! Think I'll be the same, my mother always cooks like there's 50 people coming when in reality it's normally about 10 of us. Where do your parents live?"

"Not far only in Bishops Stortford in Hertfordshire. My dad will drive and pick me up as I don't have a car, don't find I need one much."

"I sold my car a while ago as I just wasn't using it, I've just been away for 7 weeks so it would have just sat unused that whole time. I tend to use the tube or borrow my cousins car who I live with."

"The tube?! That's brave! Do girls follow you around when they spot you?"

"Not really recognised much, you know what people are like on the tube they don't even look at each other!"

"Ha! I suppose! I just get on and look at my phone then hear my stop and get off."

"Londoners aren't exactly the most social on the tube!"

"No they're not! So you live with your cousin then?"

"Yeah, he moved to London around the same time I did so we decided to live together. He's one of my best friends so we spend a lot of time together. Makes sense that we live together any way, he can keep an eye on the place when I'm not here. Do you live with anyone?"

Did she have a boyfriend? You weren't sure you were ready to ask her outright yet.

"No, just moved out from a house share to a place of my own, managed to buy a place. Just a little one bed flat, but its good to be on my own. Hated sharing with my friends, they're so fucking noisy! I'm loving the peace and quiet."

"Congrats on getting your own place. Luckily my cousin is pretty quiet. No wild parties here!"

"Sure there isnt! I'm sorry Niall but I've got to go to work now, got to go deliver some babies! Maybe chat again? X"

"That's ok Petal, you go deliver those babies! And yes, I would love to chat again, message me soon xxxx"

You sat back further on the sofa, placing your phone beside you again. Had you sounded a bit desperate with your last message? Was 4 kisses at the end too much?

Oh god what had got into you!

"You ok Niall?" Willie asked, as he walked into the living room.

"Yeah, just text that girl from Friday."

"Oh yeah, what did you say?"

"Just chatted a bit, she's got to go to work now, night shift at a hospital." You said with a sigh.

"Sounds like you like her?!" He smirked.

"I do, she's different from other girls, don't know how. Just something about her."

"She got a boyfriend?"

"Don't know I didn't ask, didn't want to seem pushy. She said she'd message me soon when she's not working, I'll ask her then."

You both sat and chatted with each other for a bit, having a couple of beers before you both went to bed.

The next morning you woke up to a message.

"Hey Niall I hope this message doesn't wake you up, downside of a 1am break! Was really great talking to you earlier, sorry I had to cut it short and head to work. Hope we can talk again soon. Erin Xxxx"

A smile spread across your face, you looked at your clock it was 7:30am not normally a time you'd be up but jetlag had messed with your sleep schedule. She'd be on her way home now you thought.

"Was great to wake up to your message, hope you had a good night at work. Text when you wake up later would love to talk more xxxx"

You couldn't wait till later.

********

Erin's POV

You smiled as you sat on the tube home, reading Niall's message. You'd replied straight away.

"Work was hectic lots of babies! Can't wait to sleep, will message later, have a good day xxxx"

You had managed to get through the night shift at work without daydreaming of Niall. You'd not mentioned your texts to anyone, especially not Kathy. She was the one you'd been to the concert with. Her daughter Lyla was a massive fan, so she had brought 4 tickets and invited you and one of Lyla's school friends to go. If she knew you'd met him, and had been texting him she would freak out. She was a good friend, but you weren't ready to share this secret with anyone just yet.

You climbed into bed at 8am and set your alarm for 3pm. You were on another night shift tonight so you knew you'd need at least 7 hours sleep in preparation for another 12 hour night.

Your shifts weren't too bad. You normally did two 12 hour night shifts a week and two 8 hour day ones. You'd picked up a few extra longer shifts the last two weeks, as you'd got a few days off over Christmas, so wanted to help out before hand.

You fell asleep almost instantly, thoughts of Niall swimming in your head.

Your alarm woke you from your slumber. Your first thought was Niall. When you'd had been texting yesterday before work the conversation had been easy. You text him straight away, hoping you'd be able to chat before you went into work later.

"Hey I'm awake now if you're free to chat? X"

He replied within minutes.

"Afternoon Erin. You sleep well? X"

"Yeah, not too bad. Got 7 hours. Just about to get some food. Got to leave by 6pm to get to work again."

"Ah that sucks, was hoping we could hang out sometime before I go back to Ireland. I'm busy tomorrow and then I'm flying the day after that. Unless you have a boyfriend and can't?"

He's asking about a boyfriend.

Do not freak out!

"Yeah I'm sorry, I'm now regretting signing up for extra shifts! Maybe when you're back? And no I don't have a boyfriend."

"Definitely, there's always texting and maybe face time over Xmas?"

Oh my god!

He wants to face time.

Fuck!

Be cool!

"I'd like that. How was your day?"

"Did some last minute shopping and then wrapped some of it. Have left it till the last minute again!"

"Well you have been busy touring! Bet the shops were packed!"

"They were and I got spotted a few times which delayed it. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having pictures with fans, but I just wanted to get in and get out today! Currently lounging on the sofa again!"

Then he sent an absolutely gorgeous selfie of himself lying on his sofa. He looked unreal. You could feel your body heating up from just that one photo.

"God that sofa looks comfy!" You replied cheekily.

"It is, just a shame you have to go to work. There's a space here for you next to me."

Your heart was beating so fast in your chest at this point that you thought it might explode.

"Hey! don't tease!"

You were thoroughly enjoying this carefree flirting you had going on.

"Ha! Sorry! What you cooking then?"

"Oh it's very exciting!" You replied as you took a picture of your stir fry.

"Looks good. You'll have to let me come over and cook for you some time. X"

"That's a deal! X"

The text messages just kept bouncing back and forth, until you were putting your stuff in your locker at work. You took a selfie of yourself in your scrubs and sent it to him.

"Got to go now, babies to deliver. X"

"Never seen anyone look so sexy in scrubs before! X"

"Piss take! X"

"Ha! No seriously you look beautiful Erin, hope work goes ok. 😘"

He had ended your messages with a kiss emoji. You internally squealed, the smile you had on your face was definitely not going away.

Another shift ended and you got your stuff from your locker to find he had messaged you again. You'd not had much chance to stop for a break so hadn't checked your phone in 12 hours. But there it was, a single message from Niall that definitely brightened up your morning.

"Hey I guess when you read this it will be morning. So good morning, hope work was ok. Can't wait to chat later, keep looking at your picture. I'm doing work stuff today but can reply. Can't wait to hear from you. X"

Honestly this whole texting thing was surreal. You replied, deciding to be cheeky and add the kiss emoji on the end like he had done last night.

"Morning Niall, hope you slept well, can't wait to sleep, my feet hurt! I will send you a much better picture than my scrubs one, I promise. 😘 Will message later x"

Jumping on the tube with all the early commuters on their way to work, you couldn't wait to get home. Work was about a 45 minutes trip and you soon made it back to your flat. After a quick shower to freshen up you threw on some cosy pyjamas and climbed into bed.

You didn't sleep long as you were not working that night and were on a day shift the next day. Niall had said he was working, but you text him just after 1pm when you woke up. It felt weird to be texting him like this when you had only just met. The messages had gotten quite flirty, and as much as you loved it you weren't expecting it to materialise into anything. This was Niall Horan for fucks sake, why would he want you?

This was only a bit of fun and you needed to remember that.

You messaged him saying hi and that you had just woken up and were about to take a shower, needing to wash your hair ready for this evening. By the time he messaged back, you had dressed in jeans and a long sleeve cotton top and dried your hair.

"Hey you, sorry only just replying I was in an interview. How was your sleep? You working tonight? X"

"Its ok, how was your interview? No I'm off tonight but back in tomorrow at 9am. I have a works thing tonight in Camden tonight, going to The Colonel Fawcett as they do loads of awesome gins, but won't be drinking much. X"

"Sounds fun, I'm catching up with some friends for a Christmas drink tonight to. Interview was ok, it was for a golf thing I'm going to next month. X"

"Golf? You play?"

"Yeah love it, it's not a boring old man's game!"

"Never said it was!"

"Ha! Most people think it is! So have you told anyone that we've been messaging?"

"No, I haven't"

"What no one?"

"No, I thought you'd prefer the discretion, plus no need for me to tell anyone. Have you?"

"Just my cousin, he was the one who encouraged me to come and talk to you."

"You weren't going to come over?"

"No, was too nervous, but he said I should probably ask your permission to send the boys the video of you, and may have given me a gentle nudge in your direction!"

So the nervousness he had shown when he was talking to you had been real. He was so sweet, you really felt like you had got to know him over the last few days. The real him, not the one standing up on stage in front of thousands of people. You didn't hesitate with your reply.

"Ha! Well I'm glad he did, I really enjoy talking to you. X"

"Me to. I have another interview now so I'll message you in a bit. X"

He did message you back, 45 mins later as you were cleaning up your flat and sorting through Christmas presents. You'd started to sort out your bag to take home with you too. Your dad was going to come here for your stuff and then collect you from work early Christmas morning.

You began messaging back and forth again, this time getting more and more flirty. He practically begged you for a picture when you were ready to go out and you asked for one in return. You'd smiled and bit your lip nervously as you took it. Your fitted black knee length skirt hugged your curves well and you'd teamed it with black heels and a dark blue floaty top. Your naturally curly red hair was tucked over one shoulder.

He replied straight away and caused an instant blush on your cheeks.

"Wow, you look fucking amazing!"

"Ha! Thanks, now where's my picture???!!!"

He sent one to you, he was wearing his trademark dark blue jeans and a white long sleeve cotton v neck top, a little bit of chest hair visible. God you wanted to run your fingers through it. He'd styled his hair with a high flick and was doing his smouldering look.

"Ooohhh hello! Where's the smile Horan?!"

A minute later. He sent the same picture but this time he was smiling.

"Much better! Although I do love that smouldering look! 😉"

"Ha! Don't be cheeky! Seriously you look beautiful, don't go getting anyone's number and making me jealous!"

Interesting??!!!

"Oh really that's not allowed? Well make sure you don't get anyone's tonight either!"

"No it's not! Don't want to share you with anyone. X"

"Don't want to share you either. X"

This time you didn't bother to hide your squeal and the sound of it echoed around your small bedroom.

This made you happy to know that he wasn't seeing anyone else and that he didn't want you to either. You still didn't know what to expect from him. You'd only met him face to face once, and that was for literally less than ten minutes. This texting was getting crazy. You really needed to see him. You'd have to wait till after Christmas since he was away and you were working and away to.

Thanks for reading!I

Em x

Tag list @awomanindeniall

Let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list.

#Niall #niall fan fic #Niall fan fiction #Niall Horan fan fic #Niall Horan fan fiction #Emily writes #Niall fluff #Niall smut

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loadingluke · 5 years

Text

Day of stage one RFF phalloplasty

Recovery days 1 and 2

FRIDAY 1/2

5:18am: I woke up 2 minutes before the alarm. Maddy and I woke up about the same time, I gave her a hug and we got ready for the day.

5:25am: I had a shower, my last shower before surgery. I washed myself with some antibacterial cleanser and brushed my teeth.

5:47am: Mum and Maddy had some coffee and tea, and I had nothing. We had a little bit of a chat before surgery.

6:03am: we left the house and headed to the hospital. We were all a little in shock by how bright it was. The sun was up when we woke up at 5:20! No daylight savings and just being a little more tropical I guess. There were heaps of people out and walking their dogs.

6:46am: we made it to the surgery check in counter- we got a little lost! Just waiting in line to check in. It was mainly done online so it shouldn’t take too long.

6:55am: everything is all sorted. I paid for my excess and now I’m just waiting for the nurse.

7:18am: I went in for my questions. Mum and Maddy waited outside. Then we went to the bay area and I changed out of my clothes and into my gown. Dr Goossen came in and went over everything again, so everyone knew what was going to be happening. He said he’d ring mum once i was out to keep her up to date.

7:32am: I was wheeled down into the anaesthetic room and met my anaesthetist, Dr Booth. He went over my history again and put an IV in my hand. I was wheeled into theatre, but due to some issue the surgery was delayed. I was given something to relax me while we waited to get the go ahead. I’m not sure how long I was waiting for or when the op actually started because of that, but I believe it was about half an hour? (edit: I found out later that it actually was an hour and a half, it definitely didn’t feel like that) The nurses were really nice, we talked about game of thrones, trashy TV and Harry Potter. By pure coincidence, thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran was playing- the same song that was playing when I was going under for my top surgery!

~5:20pm: I came to in recovery. I wasn’t in too much pain, my arm was all wrapped up and there was a lot of padding around the phallus. I felt surprisingly good. I had a button to press for fentanyl if I needed it. They did the doppler on the phallus to check blood supply, and I could hear that it was nice and strong. Hans and Scott came down to see how I was going and I got to actually see it....and I cried a little. Not my finest moment and probably to do with the meds, I was just so happy that It’s THERE! My pain was sitting at about a 3/10, and it was mainly sore on my butt incisions and my groin incision on the right side. I could wiggle my fingers well. My hand was a little cold so the nurse wrapped the gallows in a warm blanket to warm them up a bit- worked a treat! I was taken to my room.

~7:20pm: I got to my room, mum and Maddy were there. I was able to chat to them for a bit. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything but I had a little bit of water.

Overnight I had some routine obs done every hour. This involved my blood pressure, temperature and pulse being taken, a doppler on my phallus to check blood flow, wiggling my fingers and checking blood perfusion and finally my pain out of 10. Surprisingly, even with all of that every hour, I still had a pretty good sleep! My pain never got higher than a 5/10. My arm didn’t bother me too much either which is good. It was really weird sometimes. It felt like my arm was in a different position to where it actually was, for example in my head I thought it was lying across my chest when really it was in the sling hanging up. I would sleep pretty much from when the nurse left until she came back again.

I’ve got quite a few bits and bobs coming out of me, this is the setup we’ve got going on: My right arm is up and in a sling. I have a lot of padding around my groin, including a drain from my abdomen. There’s a drain coming out of my phallus and a catheter in my new urethra to keep it open, as well as one in my current urethra for voiding. In my left arm I have two IVs- one with my saline and fentanyl and one spare. I’m on oxygen for the time being as well. I have to wear compression socks and pumps on my legs as well to prevent swelling . A lot is happening and going on lol. My night was just sleeping and having my obs done.

SATURDAY 2/2

8:40 am: Hans came in with another urologist to take a look at how I was healing. He said I will probably get the drain out of the phallus on Sunday if it continues with how it has been healing which is good. He is happy with how the blood supply is going. He said the nerve hookup went well and that I should have pretty good sensation once the nerves grow back. We discussed the incisions behind the bum and I asked if they were stapled like how it’s done in the UK. Huzzah, sutured! I thought they would be but it was comforting all the same. The last thing I’d want would be to have staples removed from below my butt. He said that depending on who was around on Sunday I may be allowed to get out of bed which would be amazing. Fingers crossed.

9:00am: catering came by and I was given some breakfast. I had some toast and jam, and some orange juice.

I was also moved to be in right position as I couldn’t reach my breakfast properly. Two nurses moved me further up the bed so I was in a more comfortable position. First they laid the bed flat then slid a red-silk piece of material underneath me by getting me to roll onto my side and sliding the material underneath my butt. Then I rolled back onto my back, they pulled the material through so it was properly underneath me and then used it to pull me up the bed. I wasn’t strong enough in my legs to push myself up the bed.

9:20am: I had some blood taken. The guy who was doing it seemed a little confused as to why a 22 year old man was here all the way from Melbourne. I just went with it lol.

~9:30 am a nurse came in and have me hot towels for sponge bath. She left me to my own devices and wiped down face and body as that was all I could reach. It was refreshing. The nurse said she would change sheets later, probably tomorrow (Sunday) and I didn’t really think anything of it. Relaxed for a while and waited for Maddy, mum and a friend from school who happened to be in Brisbane to come and visit.

11:30 - just as my visitors arrived, two nurses came in and were confused as to why my sheets hadn’t been changed earlier and offered to do it for me. It was a similar process to how they move me further up the bed earlier with the silk. I rolled onto my side, they removed the old sheets and tucked the new ones under my butt. I then rolled onto my other side so they could pull the sheets through. They also replaced the absorbent sheet underneath me as I was oozing from my incisions a bit (perfectly normal but a little gross).

I had some time with my girlfriend, Mum and a friend from school. We hung out and had a bit of a chat which was nice. I felt quite awake and alert and was able to talk quite freely. They stayed until about 1:00pm, and also came back later at about 4:00pm. I had a nap in between. Throughout the whole day I also continued having hourly checks from the nurses.

SUNDAY 3/2

Overnight Saturday was similar to the first night but I was more restless so I didn’t sleep as well. It was very warm overnight, i has the fan on but my legs were still quite sweaty and itchy as a result of the combination of compression socks and the pumps on my legs as well as my leg hair. It was very itchy and hard to sleep because it kept tickling.

~8am on Sunday I had antibiotics and after that I had a sudden wave of nausea and felt like I would throw up. I told the nurse and she gave me a bag right away and I just allowed the wave to pass. I didn’t end up throwing up but I did come close to doing so. I was given some anti-nausea medication intravenously and that helped a lot.

~9:30am I asked if I could have my sheets changed as I felt really sweaty and clammy. It was pretty busy though so I had to wait for the nurses to be free. At about 10am Hans’ registrar came in and had a look at the phallus. There was minimal swelling and it was looking good so he removed the small drain from it. I couldn’t feel it. Once it was removed there was a little bit of bleeding coming out of the tip, but not much at all. He said everything was looking good. I video called some friends in Melbourne and then called Maddy to see what they were up to today.

~11:30am, a nurse came in to change over my sheets and give me a sponge bath. Boy, it was worth the wait! She wiped down my legs and changed my compression socks over, and then changed my sheets. It made me feel so much better, but did tire me out a bit. Maddy and Mum came over to visit me, and I had some fruit. Since Maddy is leaving Monday she got to stay for the day. We watched some TV together, but I was very exhausted so a lot of the time was spent with me asleep and her holding my hand (I love you for that Maddy, sorry I was so boring xx)

~3:30pm: Hans called me to see how I was traveling. He said I seemed to be doing well and said my blood work came back normal. He said he’d be in Monday morning to check up on me, and that I should be able to get out of bed then! How exciting!

~6pm Mum came back and her and Maddy helped get me some dinner. I had some decaf tea and juice, and that definitely helped give me a little more strength. I’ve got some fruit next to me that I can pick at overnight if I’m feeling peckish.

~6:30pm mum and Maddy left. Dr Ingram came down to check on me and he was also happy with how it was all going. He said he would touch base over the next few days and to let him know if I have any questions.

7:13pm: my last hourly check! The past 48 hours have been absolutely exhausting, mainly because I had to be woken up every hour for my check ups! Now that it’s been 48 hours I can drop down to checks every 2 hours. Doesn’t sound like much but I’m very keen for that.

9:27pm: I had the second spare cannula removed from my hand- it was just getting annoying at this point. My IVs also were falling off due to the tape, so a nurse has given me a little glove to keep them in place, and it’s worked a treat.

10:03pm: I’ve just finished off these notes and I’ll post them ASAP. All in all, pain has stayed consistent at about 3-4/10. Still have an IV and my arm in the sling. Still have my fentanyl button and oxygen. Legs are still in the pumps. I still have a catheter but that should come out tomorrow, along with my abdominal drain.

The catheter in the phallus will stay there, along with all the padding around it and my arm until I leave the hospital. I’m feeling a little more mobile, I can move my legs a little and scoot up if I’m too low on the bed, but that’s all the movement I’ve really been allowed to do for now. I’m gonna sleep now and will update in the morning hopefully when I’m allowed out of bed!

Thanks for all the kind words and support and I hope this has been helpful/interesting 😄

#phallo #ftm #trans #transgender #trans man #trans guy #dr goossen #phalloplasty #stage 1 #rff #rff phallo #lukes phalloplasty

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stansrichie · 6 years

Photo

Moonlight

pairing: kasplon (eddie x mike)

requested: no, but it should have been

warnings: richie being richie

not my gif

this is inspired by the song “moonlight” by queen ariana grande

IMPORTANT: everything in italics is flashbacks to when eddie and mike first started dating, bold italics are song lyrics, and regular text is present time if you didn’t understand.

The sun is setting and you’re right here by my side.

Eddie turned his head to admire the boy laying beside him on the grass. The moonlight reflected off of his skin and made Eddie’s heart begin to beat in a way he thought would surely land him a trip to the ER if it didn’t stop.

Eddie wasn’t really sure when he had fallen in love with Mike Hanlon, he just knew it happened sometime between the beginning of their 9th grade year and the ending of their 11th grade year. He had never come to terms with the fact that he was falling for another boy, given the immense homophobia present in Derry, let alone another loser until their last day of the 11th grade.

And the movie is playing, but we won’t be watching tonight.

Middle school had been brutal for the group of 7, but something changed in high school. They all grew out of the “loser phase” to an extent, but Mike was the one that changed the most. Richie still wore his hawaiian shirts and cracked inappropriate jokes, but he was also the school’s heartthrob, to everyone’s surprise. Bill continued his art and still had a bit of a stutter, but he was also known as the sweetest guy in school. Ben wrote love letters and poems to Beverly, which led him to win multiple awards in creative writing, every single day, and according to Richie he needed to “man the fuck up and ask her out already.” Beverly was the captain of the girl’s soccer team, as well as the boy’s soccer team since her coach knew she was the best player. Stan still went birdwatching every single morning at 6:30AM sharp and made sure to keep Richie in check, but he was also the school’s MVP for his incredible baseball skills. Hell, even Eddie had made a name for himself at the school. Eddie won the national science fair after finding an “eco-friendly way to combat every single germ Richie has ever cursed the planet with,” which started as a joke but ended up working out in his favor.

Every look, every touch, makes me wanna give you my heart.

But Mike Hanlon? Eddie couldn’t even begin where to start with him. Was the term “loser” even fitting for Mike Hanlon anymore? Mike became the star quarterback at Derry High School, being the first freshman to be on the varsity team in Derry history, and is arguably the most popular guy in school. Eddie couldn’t think of one person that didn’t love Mike, and what made Eddie even more anxious is the fact that girls loved Mike in a different way. A way that made Eddie’s stomach turn when he saw girls giggling and blushing when Mike smiled at them in the halls, or when he saw Mike leaning against Erica Parker’s locker during free period, whispering something that made her cheeks turn a deep shade of red and making Eddie rush away from the scene.

I’d be crushing on you, baby, stay the way you are.

But the day that changed everything was the day that Mike Hanlon found out Eddie Kaspbrak had a crush on him, thanks to Richie of course.

“Come on Eddie, you can’t hide from him forever,” Stan said, leaning against the door to the janitor’s closet, which Eddie had locked himself in.

Stan heard faint sniffles coming from the other side of the door. Richie had been talking about the winter dance that was coming up soon, and after asking who everyone was going with he just so happened to “suggest” to Eddie that he should ask Mike since he had a crush on him anyway. Eddie knew Richie hadn’t meant to tell about his crush, hell, it was pretty obvious anyway, but Eddie was still shocked, and Richie was just as shocked, apologizing profusely as Eddie ran out through the cafeteria doors. Stan dashed after him, not before shooting a glare at Richie, of course. The only person that wasn’t shaken up by the situation was Mike. In fact, Mike tried to hide the smile that had found its way onto his face.

Eddie took the time to admire the way Mike’s dark skin looked under the moon’s reflection. He couldn’t even put into words how beautiful the sight is, and he silently wished this moment would never end.

I kiss his fingertips as I’m wishing he’s all mine.

He sometimes wondered if Mike admired him the same way he admired Mike. Eddie wasn’t aware of this, but he most certainly did.

“Go away Stan, you don’t understand. You’ll never understand. I’m not even supposed to like him, he doesn’t like boys. Everything is ruined now, there’s no fucking way I can go back out there,” Eddie replied, trying to hold back the sobs that were aching to come out.

Eddie heard the echo of clumsy feet stomping against the door, stopping right in front of the janitor’s closet. “Hey Eds, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to tell everyone about your crush on Mi- OW STOP IT STAN, JESUS FUCK.”

“Don’t fucking call me that Richie, you know I hate that.”

After a while of talking through the door, they eventually gave up on trying to convince Eddie to come out. Stan and Richie were basically talking to themselves at this point because Eddie had stopped replying to them almost 5 minutes after Richie arrived, and the bell had already rang by then.

Just as Eddie had thought the coast was clear and he could make a getaway, planning to skip the rest of the school day and tell his mom he was sick, even if she would drive him to the hospital immediately, he heard someone’s footsteps come closer and closer to the door. Eddie was too afraid to look out of the crack in the door, in fear of being seen, but he knew all too well who it was.

Eddie had never realized this before, but Mike had beautiful long eyelashes. The way they reflected in the moonlight made it all the more dramatic.

He’s giving me Elvis with some James Dean in his eyes.

Mike had never liked his near pitch black eyes and long eyelashes, but Eddie loved them. Even more, now that they were dancing in the light like this.

“Hey, Eddie… I know you’re in there,” Mike’s soothing voice called. Eddie was frozen stiff at the sound of his voice. “Can you please come out here and talk to me?” Eddie didn’t move a muscle. He couldn’t. He wanted to, but he couldn’t bring his body to it.

A few minutes had passed and he heard a deep sigh from the other side of the door. “That’s okay. I didn’t think you would anyways. I just wanted to ask you something real quick, but I guess I can wait and do it some other time.” Mike waited at the door, hoping Eddie would change his mind last minute, but he knew he couldn’t wait forever. Teachers like to patrol the hallways, and Mike snuck out of class without a hall pass.

“I’ll see you soon, Eddie,” Mike said quietly, more to himself than anyone else.

Eddie turned away from Mike’s face and looked back up at the stars, praying he wouldn’t see the blush that had started to creep up onto his cheeks at the thought of that day.

Puts his lips on my neck, makes me wanna give him my body.

Mike looks over at Eddie. He always loved Eddie’s freckles, and now looking more intently, he realizes how much he’d rather be staring at them than the stars that aligned the midnight sky.

“Tomorrow’s the w-winter dance guys, what’s th-he plan?” Bill asked, plopping down in his seat in the cafeteria next to Stan.

“Well, I don’t know about you losers but I’ve gotta put the moves on a certain someone before tomorrow or else I won’t be getting any winter lovin’,” Richie said, throwing a wink at Stan, who in return rolled his eyes so hard Eddie thought they might fall out.

Beverly laughed. “We should all meet up at Ben’s house and take photos, then carpool in Bill’s van,” she suggested, taking a bite out of her ham sandwich. Everyone hummed in agreement, besides Mike.

“Actually, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it or not. My grandpa said I can’t go unless all of my work for the week is taken care of by the time the dance starts,” he said, a sad smile on his face.

Eddie tried to hide his sheer disappointment by looking down at his shoes, suddenly losing his appetite. He had finally decided to face Mike at the dance when they could be alone, and maybe even ask for a dance, but totally lost his chance now.

“What if we all come over early and help you get your work done quicker, Mikey?” Ben asked.

“That’s okay guys, I wouldn’t want you to get all dirty and sweaty before it’s time to get ready. Don’t worry about me,” He said, giving Ben a grateful smile.

“Hey, Eddie?” Mike asked, shamelessly staring at Eddie’s side profile.

“Yeah?” Eddie said, a little too quick for his own liking, turning around and facing his beautiful boyfriend.

“You know I love you, right?” Mike whispered softly, grabbing Eddie’s hand and intertwining it with his own. Mike had always been super confident in everything he had done, and he wasn’t sure if it was the way the moon hit Eddie’s eyes and made them light up in a way he’d never seen before, or if it were the way Eddie looked at him with enough intensity to put a fire to shame, but for some reason, Mike had begun to grow awfully nervous.

I’d be falling for you, baby, and I just can’t stop.

“I know… I love you too,” Eddie replied, pausing between words to catch his breath, which was faltering due to his irregular heartbeat. He wished he had brought his inhaler with him, but he left it on his bedside table.

Eddie looked at the clock that read that it was 5:30. The losers were meeting at Ben’s at 6pm to take pictures, leaving Eddie just enough time to finish getting ready and make his way there.

Eddie was adjusting his tie when he heard knocking at the front door.

“Coming,” he said, slipping on his shoes and opening up the door. There in front of him stood Mike Hanlon, dressed in a dark purple dress suit, holding a red boutonnière in his hand, matching the one that was pinned to his lapel.

“Good afternoon, Eddie Kaspbrak. I know it’s a little short notice, but I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to a certain school dance on this fine evening?” Mike said, smiling brighter than the sun had ever shone.

Eddie nodded and stepped out of his home, choosing not to verbally reply in fear of choking up and embarrassing himself and allowed Mike to place the boutonnière on his tux. The two boys’ faces were just centimeters apart, and Eddie swore he might pass out if they got any closer. Mike lifted his head after pinning the flower and stared deeply into Eddie’s chocolate brown eyes. He took a moment to admire the small boy’s face, as well as the rosy pink tint that took over the boy’s cheeks and neck. A slight breeze moved a piece of Eddie’s hair out of place and Mike couldn’t help but to run his own fingers through it and fix the misplaced hair. Eddie was sure Mike had heard his breath hitch.

Mike grabbed Eddie’s hand and led him down the street to Ben’s house, eventually starting up a conversation about how Richie totally cheated in Twister during last weekend’s game night.

Eddie placed his head on Mike’s chest, and Mike wrapped his arm around Eddie’s waist. Eddie shook his head slightly and smiled.

I never knew you could hold moonlight in your hands till the night I held you. You are my moonlight.

“What is it?” Mike said, giggling softly at his silly boy. Eddie looked up. “I am so damn in love with you, Mike Hanlon.” It was Mike’s turn to lose his breath.

“Hello” by Lionel Richie was softly playing in the background of the school dance. Eddie looked around and he could see everyone scrambling to find someone to dance with. He saw Ben and Bev rocking slowly to the music. Bill and a girl from his chemistry class were dancing as well. He also saw Richie trying to drag Stan onto the dance floor, earning him a smack on the arm. Right when he thought Richie was going to give up, he saw him lean into Stan and whisper something in his ear that made him sheepishly follow Richie to the dance floor.

“May I have this dance?” Mike asked, bowing dramatically and holding his hand out for Eddie to take. Eddie rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed. “Get up, idiot, of course I will.” Mike beamed and took Eddie’s hand, leading him out to the dance floor.

Eddie and Mike had always said they loved each other, but they had never proclaimed that they were IN love with each other. What took Mike by surprised even more was the fact that Eddie was the first to say this.

He’s so bossy, he makes me dance. Tryna sit in the back of his whip and just cancel my plans.

Mike leaned down placed his forehead against Eddie’s, and they laid just like that. With Mike’s large hand covering Eddie’s small one, and Eddie’s small frame hugging against Mike’s.

Eddie’s arms were placed around Mike’s neck, and Mike’s arms were placed on Eddie’s waist. Mike loved the way his hands fit right on the sides of Eddie’s body. They swayed back and forth to the beautiful song and it felt like they were the only two in the room. The world around them swirled into a contrast of light and dark colors, leaving the two lovesick boys directly in the middle of the chaos.

Mike’s eyes never left Eddie’s face. Not even when Eddie tried to turn away from Mike out of embarrassment when he realized Mike was looking at him so directly, suddenly becoming insecure. Mike lightly grabbed Eddie’s chin and made him look at him again.

“Please don’t look away from me like that again. You shouldn’t be so insecure. I’m staring for a reason,” Mike hummed softly, pressing his forehead against Eddie’s. “O-okay,” Eddie stuttered.

Eddie was becoming incredibly anxious at the fact that Mike had yet to respond to him saying he’s in love with him.

Sweet like candy, but he’s such a man.

He could feel his palms start to become sweaty and decided whether he should apologize, but what exactly would he be apologizing for? Expressing his feelings?

Locking eyes, they continued to slowly sway to the music. Second by second, they became slower with their steps until they came to a complete stop in the middle of the room, looking into each other’s eyes and leaning closer to one another.

“I like you too Eddie,” Mike whispered, enclosing the space between them and taking Eddie’s lips in his.

Mike positioned his body to look over at the small boy, who could feel Mike’s breath tickling his face. He pulled Eddie even closer to his chest.

He knows just what it does when he’s holding me tight and he calls me moonlight too.

“I’m in love with you too, Eddie Kaspbrak,” Mike said, leaning down to kiss Eddie on his lips.

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assortedmoneydiaries · 4 years

Text

a week in NYC on a $80,000 salary

Day One

5am: I wake up, snooze for 10 minutes, and do my morning face routine: rose toner, bronze eyeshadow, eyeliner, eyebrows. I make a fried egg over easy (a dozen for $1) and drink some peanut milk (homemade with peanuts, water, and sugar).

6:45am: I get to my monitoring appointment for my egg freezing process, and I get bloodwork and an ultrasound within 20 minutes. I pay for lupron, a trigger medication for the egg retrieval process scheduled for this weekend. I’m getting my egg freezing reimbursed, but for now I’m paying this out of pocket. $85.

7:50am: I get to work - it’s a Sunday, but I have a 12 hour shift ahead of me. I immediately get a sign-out about a patient with a weapon in his rectum, so this day is already wild.

12:00pm: The day hasn’t been too bad, actually; I microwave my pre-packed lunch - white rice with eggplant, chicken, and thai basil. I briefly entertain buying a drink from the vending machine, but it passes.

6:00pm: After a day of answering pages and browsing furniture, it’s dinner time! I microwave my pre-packed dinner - pesto chicken bread pudding that I made with my brother’s leftover sourdough bread. Back to work.

8:00pm: Time to go home! The night ended with a patient who caught a goose in Central Park with a fishing net and decapitated it. The police confiscated the knife and the goose.

10:00pm: Because it’s the weekend, my normal one hour commute becomes two hours. I talk to my prospective roommate about our housing plans, inject myself with follistim and clomiphene for the egg freezing, and pass out.

Daily total: $85 (to be reimbursed).

Day Two

6am: Same routine, but an hour later! Wash my face, get dressed, and an egg and peanut milk. Not having to think about breakfast makes my life easier when I’m already so groggy.

8am: I’m still on the subway, but we have virtual morning lectures from 8am-9am, so I just join on my phone. I get to the hospital at 8:10 and continue the lecture on wifi. I drop off the black sesame milk buns that I made over the weekend in the residents’ lounge.

9am: We have morning rounds for 30 minutes, and I go see my patients and write their notes. One of my patients is someone I saw in the ED yesterday, and she’s very sweet now that she’s no longer intoxicated.

12pm: Lunch time! I microwave my pre-packed lunch, same as yesterday, and chill with the other residents for an hour.

3pm: I count down to 3pm for the donut drop from Kora; within 3 minutes, the donuts are sold out. Thankfully, I made it - 2 sets of the Sari-Sari (leche flan, ube, churron, halo-halo, and keso). All set for pick-up on Friday. :) $65.

4pm: I get out of work, and go home to chill, work on the apartment rental application, and work out.

7:30pm: Dinner with my mom eating leftovers, and then Stone Age (a free online board game with friends).

10pm: Follistim and clomiphene again, and off to bed.

Daily total: $65 (hopefully will be reimbursed for $56 since I’m sharing with 6 other people)

Day Three

5am: I have to go for monitoring again today, so I wake up early ... and do the same routine, except with hot HK milk tea instead of peanut milk to warm me up.

7am: It’s 50 degrees outside, and I decide to cancel my dinner plans (outdoor dining with a friend) because I’m not dressed appropriately for the weather. I go in for monitoring and it turns out I need to take a medication as soon as I get home from work, so I have an even better excuse to cancel.

10am: I discharge two patients, one of whom is my age and is one of the nicest patients I’ve ever had. I have medical students now, so I bring them along to see my patients.

12pm: Lunch time - I microwave my pesto chicken bread pudding that I brought from home. I was hoping to snack on a black sesame milk bun, but they’re all gone. :(

5pm: I go home instead of going to dinner, but it turns out that I don’t have the medication after all. I contact the ob/gyn, but it’s not available at any pharmacies; I’ll just pick it up from the clinic tomorrow (for free).

7:30pm: I eat leftovers again for dinner (peking duck and steamed dumplings). The rest of the night is pretty low-key; lazing in bed and scrolling through social media. I get myself to do a few squats, but I feel so meh that I don’t really end up doing much and call it a night.

Daily total: $0

Day Four

5am: It’s getting pretty tiring waking up early for these appointments - can’t wait for them to be over! The follicles are growing nicely :) I pick up the medication and make sure I don’t lose it this time.

10am: I discharge another patient, who is legit one of the most motivated patients I’ve ever met; he called his pharmacy to make sure that his medications would get sent properly.

12pm: I remembered that I had some leftover beef rendang from dinner last week, so I microwave that for lunch. I also take the medication ... vaginally, and I lie down on the couch for 10 minutes awkwardly while my co-residents come in and out of the lounge.

5pm: I catch up with a friend through FaceTime, and we talk for 2 hours about self-quarantining, socializing, therapy, and being tired introverts.

7pm: Duke is hosting a free private screening of Miss Juneteenth with a panel of speakers (including the film director and producer), so I watch it while eating dinner with some college friends. I didn’t immediately love the movie, but the panel definitely made me appreciate it a lot more.

10pm: Medications again, and off to bed because I have ANOTHER early appointment tomorrow. Oof.

Daily total: $0

Day Five

5am: I press snooze and I basically get out of bed at 5:30 and leave at 5:50. I’m coughing a bit this morning, and I’m 99% sure I don’t have covid, but I don’t know for sure.

9:30am: I talk to my attending and program coordinator about my very mild symptoms - slightly running nose, dry cough - and they recommend that I just get tested downstairs. It’s very efficient; I sign up for a patient portal, and I get bloodwork and the nasopharyngeal swab for the PCR. I really do not want to get swabbed again unless I have to; it does not feel good.

12pm: Microwaved lunch again - rice with tofu and beef, which my mom made last night.

2pm: I’m negative for antibodies!

5pm: I take a quick trip to Chinatown to grab some snacks - drinks at Bambu for two, which I have 20% off for ($14) and a set of 6 cheese tarts from Pink Lady ($16). $30.

6pm: My fertility doctor calls me and tells me that we have to reschedule my egg retrieval until I get my covid result back. :(

7pm: I meet up with two friends for dinner at a Korean-Uzbek restaurant near my house; it turns out that they do outdoor dining! We were originally planning on doing takeout and eating in my backyard, but this works, too. We get lagman (a hot Uzbek beef noodle soup), kuksi soup (a cold Korean noodle soup reminiscent of naemgyung), 4 pieces of manty (Uzbek beef-lamb dumplings served with sour cream), and a Korean beef bun. $17

9pm: We go back to the teahouse in my backyard, and eat cheese tarts and finish our drinks. We lose track of time talking about furniture styles, dating, splurges, and money diaries. I regretfully have to end the night at 10:30pm because it’s time for my medications, and I have to go to sleep.

Daily total: $47

Day Six

6am: I didn’t have to go in this morning, whew! We also don’t have lecture this morning, so I had a leisurely morning reviewing my patient charts.

9:30am: Negative covid test, yay!!! Egg retrieval is on for Sunday.

12pm: Microwaved rice with eggplant, chicken, and thai basil again. I still have 2+ weeks worth of this and the pesto chicken bread pudding at home; I really should freeze it.

2pm: I try to talk to my new admission, but apparently he refuses to talk for the first three days every admission. So ... just chilling.

5pm: I go to my bank to get certified checks, but it turns out they’re $12 each and money orders are only $1 at the post office ... so I go to the post office. I get two checks for $1200 and $750 and pay $4.75 in fees. They’re supposed to be reimbursed, but I have to pay the application fee for my rental building up front. $1954.75

6:30pm: I give one donut to my brother and I sell one to someone else, so I get some money back!

7pm: I meet up with friends for dinner at Tradisyon, where we split a bunch of entrees among 5 people: squid, lechon, sisig, mackerel, and kare kare. Everything was delicious :) We shared the donuts, but they were actually really dense, so we only ate 5. Idk what I’m doing with the 3 leftover donuts :x $15.

10pm: We continue hanging out but it gets too cold and I need to inject myself at 10:15pm, so we end up going to someone’s studio apartment nearby :O First time hanging out indoors for some of us!

Daily total: $1969.75 ($1950 to be reimbursed)

Day Seven

8am: I go in for final bloodwork, and I pay for the egg retrieval procedure for tomorrow - oof. I’ve never had to spend so much at one time, and I was mortified when my credit card was declined. We put half on my credit card and half on my debit card. $3250.

9am: I hang out at Chris’ apartment because I need to wait until 10:15am for my second injection, and I may or may not need to have the procedure today if my bloodwork comes back indicating that I may be ovulating. We chill and wait for Daniella to arrive.

11am: We decide that it’s way too cold outside to go biking in Central Park or eat out, and we ultimately decide on spicy hunan food from the restaurant right next door to Chris’ apartment. We order a LOT of food - mapo tofu, eggplant with green beans, chongqing chicken, hot and sour soup, beef noodle soup - and eat at his kitchen counter. I drink some of Chris’ tea with his maple oat milk from Trader Joe’s. $24.

2pm: After a lot of conversations while chilling on Chris’ couch (and a 15 minute nap), we decide to go for a short walk outside so that we can feel slightly productive on our free day together. We check out some cool recycled trash sculptures of dogs that are ... kinda ugly.

3pm: I go home and spend the rest of the day freecycling (posting stuff I don’t want anymore for other people to pick up from my house) and chilling.

8pm: It’s Saturday night, which means my dad makes sushi for us. It’s a decadent, delicious, and free meal for me :)

9pm: I go to bed early for my procedure tomorrow!

Daily total: $3274 ($3250 to be reimbursed)

Weekly total: $5440.75 ($5317.88 to be reimbursed, so actually $122.87).

#laubster

0 notes

celawrites · 4 years

Text

Day 7

Clown: Happy one week of me being annoying!

Clown: I like you

Read at 6:38

WHAT A WAY TO START THE MORNING LMAo. With the normal morning routine, and a cup of coffee, I’m ready to head out. I wonder if anyone wants to carpool today and I opt for texting the class chat.

Clown: yOOOOO

Clown: Anyone wanna carpool to school?

Pebble: It’s 7

Pebble: You’re insane

tiNy: I’ll carpool if someone else does

Spam: I’ll join

Spam: CAn we get slushies again?

Clown: Sure

Clown: Y’all can play on the switch in the backseat or smth

Clown: Alright be there in 5

Read by 2

The drive to their place is calm, much like how waters are before a storm.

“yO! GET IN THE CAR LOSER. WE’RE GOING TO SCHOOL”

“How exciting” they make their way into the backseat.

“Off to get the other?”

“Can we just leave him at home? Like let him be late or something”

“That’s rude. I’ll give him 2 minutes to get out of his house tho”

“That’s fair”

The drive to the other’s house is chaotic. The conversation rallies between school and their new game tournament. When we do arrive, said person is nowhere to be found. Ringing their phone seems like the only good way to get him.

“Danny you have 2 minutes before I kick your ass and leave you here”

“i’M SORRY! I NEED TO FIND MY SCARF”

“It’s in your locker. I saw you shove it in there yesterday after school”

“It is?”

“Ask our valedictorian if you don’t believe me”

“Eh. You’ve gotten better at observing things ever since you started vibing with our valedictorian. I trust you”

“Alright now get out here. You have 30 seconds”

A crash, slide, and panting could be heard on the other side of the line. It was funny messing with him like that.

“i’M HERE”

“Welcome aboard shortie”

“I hate that even after my growth spurt you still won’t let me live the nickname down”

“Eh. Your problem for getting the short end of the stick”

“So…”

“Slushies, Coffee, or Boba?”

“Can we get Chick Fil A?”

“Is it open?”

“It opens at 6:30am in the morning”

“If the drive-through is empty enough, we can get Chick Fil A for breakfast”

“I LOVE YOUUUU. MARRY ME CRESSIE”

“You’re disgusting. That’s why I never hang around our valedictorian when you’re there”

“I’ve been hurt on more levels than one”

“Ok but you are extremely obnoxious” the friend.

“Sam shut up”

Well there goes 3 names. Might as well throw the rest of them out there-

“I can literally hear you narrating right now. Please stop.” -Sam

“As much as we love you Cressie, I do not want to go through you narrating. We know as a matter of fact that we told you to leave that behind in middle school”

“So mean” I pout. “aNYWAYS. So. Have any early college admission letters arrived?”

“Nope.”

“Oh I got one from Chapman but I don’t think I wanna go there anymore”

“You still waiting out for Yale or something?”

“Kind of”

“Good luck with that one then. But I mean that one summer camp you joined should be bonus points?”

“Yeah. I just hope it works out”

“I’m sure it’ll work out”

“chICK FIL A PLEASE”

“I thought you forgot hiss”

“Never. The drive through’s basically empty. Please?”

“What do you guys want.”

“Can I get chicken minis”

“I’ll take some hashbrowns”

“Good morning and Welcome to Chick Fil A how may I help you?”

“Good morning. Can I get Chicken Minis, hashbrowns and a chicken egg and cheese bagel?”

“Anything to drink?”

“oOH CAN WE GET COLA?”

“I want a Mango Passion Tea Lemonade”

“A cola, a sweet tea, and two mango passion tea lemonades please”

“Alright! Your total will be $15.59.”

“Alright thank you!”

“Who’s the sweet tea for?”

“Guess”

“Pebble?”

“Nope. It’s for our valedictorian who I’ve been annoying for a week”

“So you wrote the letter?”

“Pfft. It’s probably from an underclassman. You know how persistent some of them are”

“A freshman?”

“Idk. Does he not know who?”

“He won’t tell me”

I pulled my card out and handed it to the employee.

“Makes sense not to. I mean. You did spill to the whole school about his crush in middle school”

“I STOPPED DOING THAT ALREADY”

“That’s a lie. He just stopped telling you about his secrets”

“I’m hurt”

“Your card miss”

“Thank you”

“She’s only the rich one because she lacks a parental figure in her life”

“I did nOT offer to pay to get insulted by you all”

“Sorry”

After getting their food, the ride became quite. They were busy munching on their breakfast.

“Oh look we’re here!”

“And we’re 5 minutes early”

“I never get how your driving schedule works”

“I don’t know either.”

“Can I go with you for a 3am run sometime?”

“And see me flirt with the cute McDonalds employee? If you want. The offer’s up for tonight. If you want to get a decent rest, sleep at 6 and expect a text at 3”

“hUH? Sure!”

“You’re really going to do that huh?”

“No one’s stopping me.”

The three of us headed in. It was funny. Ironic even, that I’ve carpooled with everyone except him.

“You’re late today” he’s salty.

“I went for Chick Fil A with the other two” I huffed.

“I figured.”

“Do you want your tea or not”

“You got me something?”

“To get you in trouble with our english teacher yeah”

“I knew you didn’t mean any good with your gestures”

“Awww. Is liking you not a reasonable excuse?”

“Ha. Funny”

“Meanie!”

The day passes like the love for a crush. Fleeting, quick, and violently. The hammering in your chest is quick, harsh, a constant reminder of who that person is to you. The school day resembles that to me. It’s violent, the constant reminder that if you want to go to the college of your choice, you can’t start slacking. Your grades can’t drop, especially in a private school where all eyes are on you. I may not be the valedictorian, but I am the girl with no family by my side. One drop, one falter, and everyone is suddenly talking about you.

The drive home is relieving. It’s like being hit with the ac at home when you return, or maybe more of a getting ice cream during summer vibe? Not too sure. But when I get home, there’s a feeling of relief. The feeling of finally I’m not within the proximity of him. But today is a 3am run, and quite frankly, I’m not excited.

6pm comes quicker than usual, and I’m going to bed again. 3am comes, and my alarm is ringing in my ear. I drag myself out of bed today. Tonight? This early morning? This late evening? I don’t even know anymore. So then I opt for texting 2 people tonight.

Clown: 3am snacks?

Sleep.

This is why you aren’t growing

Clown: You’re boring

Clown: I’ll find someone else then

Seen at 3:03

Knowing well that he wouldn’t respond, I text the friend from earlier.

Clown: yO SAM

Spam: How long

Clown: Gimme 10 minutes.

Spam: Alrighty

The drive to his house is silent. The songs on my phone are playing softly and I’m humming along. When I do get to his house though, he slips in next to me and he grins. It isn’t until we’re on the freeway to the McDonalds close by that he starts talking.

“Do you usually stay quiet at night?”

“Sometimes. Other times I’m violently switching songs.”

There was a soft silence.

“You definitely know something about who confessed to our valedictorian. He tells you everything”

“Does he? We don’t have 3am emotionally vulnerable chats or anything. He only tells me things about school. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I could break down the wall he has”

“You’re getting off-topic. What do you know about the culprit?”

“Mm? I don’t know who it is. Why are you so persistent in knowing?”

“He. I feel like getting him a girlfriend will let him loosen up”

“In Senior year?”

“Yeah.”

“His grades can’t drop. And we know how our class does when it comes to relationships.”

“I still have a feeling he can pull through”

“Perhaps. What do you want?”

“Can I get fries?”

“Sure”

“Good morning darling~”

“Morning!”

“What can I get for you today?”

“Two large fries. And an M&M Mcflurry please!”

“Do you have a friend with you?”

“Yep!”

“Omg is it the hot dude you’re pining after”

“lNFJDSK wHIch ONE”

“wHCIH ONE?” the two were in sync.

“Lmao darling i’ll give you a discount.”

“I loVE YOU TOO”

“I LOVE YOU MORE”

“NO I DO”

This goes back and forth for another couple seconds before I drive up to the window.

“OOoo. Is he gay?”

“I’m right here”

“I’m straight.”

“Ah yikes. Wish me luck on my quest for boyfriends then darling”

“Good luck.”

The night passes in silence. Other than the occasional conversation with Sam, it isn’t much different than the usual. At some point, he passes out due to exhaustion, and I start working on my new piece.

Previous : Masterlist : Next

#angst #but like not angst #fluff #fluff fluff fluff #365 days #365 days of writing #365 days of rejection #project #quarantine project #uh #writing #bad writing lmAO #Hoping this helps with college admissions #this is longer than usual oops

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leahwithanidea · 4 years

Photo

15 Oct 2018 - THE FIRST EMAIL

Hello friends and fam!

I made it Pittsburgh last Wednesday evening and met the whole wave of other new missionaries who had just flown into Pittsburgh from the Missionary Training Center in Provo. I was the only one there who hadn't gone to the MTC so it was a little difficult to fit in. Lots of the missionaries there had been living in the dorms at the MTC together for 3 weeks already and knew each other pretty well. It was a lonely first day. I also met my Mission President, President Bednar and his wife! They are in charge of the 160ish (I don't know the exact number) of missionaries serving in the Pittsburgh mission. They make sure we are alright, fed, and learning as a missionary. They are the sweetest. For those of you who are wondering, yes, President Bednar is related to David A. Bednar. My mission president is David A. Bednar's nephew, although they are more like brothers because they are so close.

After that first day of meeting everyone and training, all the new missionaries stayed at the Mission Home (President and Sister Bednar's house) for the night. What a spacious estate full of air mattresses. The next morning, we piled into vans and went to the nearby church building where we were assigned our trainers (a more experienced missionary in our mission who has been serving their mission for a while) and our areas (where exactly within the mission boundaries we would be serving). I was assigned to be companions with Sister Smoot in the Towanda area! It was quite the doozy because the Towanda area is like the absolute farthest area in the mission from the city of Pittsburgh. It's on the very eastern side of the mission boundaries. After we were all paired up, we were off to our areas! For Sister Smoot and I, that meant we had a 6-hour drive ahead of us. YIKE. It was good though. Gave me much needed decompression time in the car and lots and lots of miles to get to know my new companion! She's from Utah (big surprise) and her parents are actually serving as Mission Presidents in Japan.

Driving from Pittsburgh to Towanda was basically a whole tour of the state of Pennsylvania so lucky me. The SUNSET as we drove was one of the most vibrant sunsets my eyes have ever looked upon. Of course pictures don't do it justice but I'll attach one anyway. It was like we were out running a wildfire. Gorgeous. God knew just what I needed after feeling so lonely the day before. Also, Sister Smoot and I share the same zest for life so we are pretty much the queens of optimism in this joint.

Our house (yes, HOUSE, not apartment building) is also the cutest. We live in a little red house on the banks of the Susquehanna River. I can literally see the river from the kitchen sink window. There are people living on the upstairs floor (I guess *technically* it's an apartment but let's just call it a house to make me feel better). We have a nice porch, a giant (and I mean giant) mudroom, a big kitchen, a bedroom, a living room, and a dining room which we use for studying. Everything in our house is significantly older than me. Like it feels like you just walked into a recreation of a civil war home that has been sorta renovated in the 70s. None of the doors shut without body slamming them, but at least we have a washer and a dryer (BLESS)!

The morning after we moved in, we got to work. 6:30am up and at em. The Towanda area is interesting because there haven't been Sister Missionaries here for 25 years! Everyone here knows about the Elders (guy missionaries) but a lot are surprised when they see us girls! The ward (congregation of members) has us Sister Missionaries AND a pair of Elders, which doesn't usually happen. Usually there's only one pair of missionaries assigned to a ward. We're the Elders reinforcements LOL. The ward here is super small. 30 people max. There are a few kids and almost zero youth. They don't even have a young men's program because there are no young men :o What a contrast from my ward back home where there are like 40 youth. The Towanda area is so big, so some of the members have a 45 minute drive to the church building every Sunday. Wowza that's dedication.

Towanda is so pretty. It's a borough tucked away in the hills of the Pennsylvania countryside along the river and it has so much history. It's getting cold here very fast and the leaves everywhere are starting to change color. Every day when we go out, I put on my puffy coat and cronch through leaves on the street (the sidewalks are so broken up and uneven and overgrown with grass that we don't even try to walk on them). Cronch cronch. There is a cute little historic downtown just down the road from where we live with some shops and a library and a post office. There are a few good grocery stores here so we get our foodstuffs alright.

Since we are the first Sisters here since forever, we have lots of work to do. Every night from 6pm-9pm we walk the neighborhoods and knock on people's doors. So far we have given out a good 6 copies of the Book of Mormon to people who were interested! It's always exciting when people want to learn more. There are a TON of churches around here so lots of people slam their doors on us. I find it funny that all of the ones who slam their doors on us believe in and follow Jesus Christ. We believe in and follow Jesus Christ too so for them to reject hearing a message about Him is weird to me. There was one nice lady who opened her door and talked to us, but just kept wanting to talk about Trump. Thank you ma'am for being so politically enthused, but we are here to talk about the Son of God. Another lady chased us off her (and her neighbor's) property and watched us walk all the way down the street from her car, headlights shining on us like a spotlight down the road, making sure we were gone for good. YIKE. According to the residents of Towanda, Towanda is not a safe place to be after dark, but so far I haven't seen anything sketchier than my hometown LOL. The scariest thing about Towanda is that the average age for kids to start smoking here is age 11, although I've seen 6-year-olds with cigarettes in their mouths. I can't even tell you how many times people have opened their doors to our knocking just to tell us You Know It's Not Really Safe For You Girls To Be Outside This Late. Yet, I have never felt in danger. God truly protects His missionaries (especially His Sister Missionaries). I feel it every day. It's hard work out here in good ole 'Wanda but we work hard. My least favorite thing is coming home at 9pm and realizing how much my feet actually hurt. You don't realize it much when you're outside walking and talking to people. My favorite thing is seeing all the cemeteries here. If you know me, you know I love cemeteries. They're pretty punk rock places because it's literally a field full of dead people but all the graves look so beautiful. Golden hour at cemeteries is my absolute favorite.

I miss home (and my Utah home) but Towanda and all its cold autumn air sets me on fire. What an adventure. Everything I do is on the Lord's time. Who can I help? Who needs me? Nothing about my time here as a missionary is about me. Our focus is always on Jesus Christ and sharing His gospel. Surprisingly, not being so concerned about myself makes me feel MORE MYSELF. That's wack. My days are filled with aching feet, red ears, numb nose, and sore knuckles, but so much smiling my cheeks hurt. There is no way the message we are sharing about the Restored Church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, isnt the truth because otherwise I would feel miserable. Otherwise, I wouldn't and couldn't wake up at 6am every day and be working and on my feet until 9pm. There is just no way. I know Christ's true church has been restored on the earth and that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, otherwise I would never have chosen to be a missionary. It is brave work and it takes all my courage and more, but it is so worth it. The peace, comfort, and absolute joy I feel from living the gospel is just too good not to share.

Sorry this email probably took you a million years to read, but I thought it would be nice to share the details because a lot of people don't know what missionaries actually DO or what it's like at the beginning. Just know that I am adjusting well to missionary life thanks to my lovely companion Sister Smoot!

Please don't send anything to the address may have sent you before because that is the address of the Mission Office which is 6 hours away. So I won't get anything sent there for another 6 or so weeks.

Love you guys to the moon and across the galaxy and back again a million times!

SISTER GAUSH

The flicks:

1. Me n Sister Smoot pre-6-hour-roadtrip

2. All the new missionaries and their trainers. Peep ya girl.

3. Sister Smoot's head and the SUNSET

4. LITTLE RED HOUSE

5. I Am Bad At Taking Selfies So She Did It

6. Ya girl! Featuring our recycling bins

7. Cemetery down the street from us at golden hour

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2019dclmed · 5 years

Text

Departure Day

Departure Day -Thursday, May 23, 2019

With my 16 year old cat, Kealy, having gotten sick many times throughout the day prior (even though she was already on antibiotics), I had another night of lacking sleep due to worry.

I went to sleep around 11:30pm, couldn’t get to sleep, took something at 12:30am, and set my alarm for 6am - in case I needed to see the vet at 7am. Of course I awoke on my own promptly at 5:30am. Miraculously all seemed fine with Kealy (after checking the recordings on my Blink camera from overnight). So I set a new alarm for 7:15am.

I was slow to get up & get in the shower since I didn’t need to leave until 10:30am. So I cleaned up the living room & kitchen, did the final prep & pack of the backpack.

I also made a couple of last minute swaps due to the (sad) decline in forecasted temps.

Grabbed some snuggles in my recliner with the kitty (watching the Rapunzel animated series to get in the mood), & pulled out by 10:35am. I stopped at a grocery near Kara’s to grab last minute gas, Wheat Thins, & caffeine pills in Indy.

Our themed-luggage tags. We tend to make these for “big” trips!

This is Kara. I slept well, as I often do, and having finished nearly all packing the night before had a quiet, easy morning. I had even finished emptying my work inbox the night before so other than a few last small to do items, I got to just tidy up around the house, say goodbye to my plants and wait for Gayle.

We left by 12:05pm for lunch at Panera. Our flight was scheduled for 3:30pm.

First it was delayed about ten minutes. Then delayed more. Then the news came: Ground Stop. Due to East Coast storms impacting Philadelphia, everything was stopped from even heading in that direction.

We started talking about rebooking, as it seemed we’d miss our connection in PHL. However, the plane started boarding and figured we’d deal with it at PHL - at least we’d be closer to Barcelona and at an American Airlines hub.

I ended up sobbing all the way to PHL.

Huge Sidenote: Most people, including myself, would read all this and figure, “What’s the big deal? So you take a different flight? Maybe your luggage is late?” For me, this was 14 months of planning falling apart and we hadn’t even left our home airport yet. It was hours of work and planning for this flight, to find an option that would allow me to sleep (as I’m a terrible international/eastbound flier) and in a budget I could afford.

That’s right folks, I mention that almighty dollar, as for some a trip like this can be a stretch. I have a great professional job, but I also chose a profession and position that can be lacking financial rewards. A “big trip” like this is something I need to plan years in advance, which I didn’t have this time, and wasn’t strong enough to tell Kara no. And putting it off just one year woudn’t work since I have to lead a study abroad next May. So this had been a YEAR of scrimping and saving, living somewhat like a “poor college student”, only to completely lose our business class seats. (Yes, I realize as I type this many are rolling their eyes, but in this moment my reality was crushed.)

We landed at PHL at 7:12pm; our connecting flight left at 7:10pm! We were sent to stand in line at a nearby customer service gate, while having learned from the past, I simultaneously called AA. I put in for a call-back as we waited in the line. The Customer Service desk tells us since we’re international, we have to “go over there” to get help - from C31 to A17!

During the trek I didn't hear or feel my phone go off - twice! - of AA calling me back. We initially couldn’t find the international help desk tucked in a set-back cove past A17, but finally got ourselves into that line. I finally noticed the 3rd call-back attempt and after many minutes was told there were ZERO options for anything arriving before… SUNDAY! (Our cruise was leaving Saturday!) Another meltdown, now from anger, had set-in. The phone agent told us to stay in the line we were standing in, that the in-person agent might have more options. What? How?

Finally at the front of the line at 8:30pm we were offered two Economy (not our booked business) seats leaving in 30 minutes to…Paris with a 5 hour layover to Barcelona (BCN). (Trying to rebook us was so challenging, this flight would be via Air France, which is the SkyTeam-Delta, not OneWorld-American network.) It’s a testament to how desperate we were that we jumped at that option, with virtually no questions asked.

When we arrived at the gate to get our seats, they were already boarding! To get any seats together, we were in the very last row- 35 G&H (which gave me deja vu for the very first time I went to Europe). I was able to shoot off a quick email to Barcelona Chocolate Tours, letting them know we couldn’t make our noon tour, as we wouldn’t be landing until nearly 6pm and respectfully requested a refund. We had a suitable Economy dinner and took ALL the drugs we packed to try to get even a little sleep. I think I maybe slept through 2.5-2.75 Harry Potter 1 movies.

This is Kara. Gayle did a good job recapping this crazy set of events. I’ll add in here that we posted a photo to Facebook to commemorate the crazy turn of events as a last notification to our friends and family of what our status was. This specific photo is very important later in the story.

Breakfast on the plane was yogurt & figs - gross. So I had my packed protein bar. Deplaning we certainly asked for help knowing where to go next. As we suspected, there was no luggage when we got to Paris (CDG). Went to Baggage Service and was told to wait until we got to BCN to put in a luggage inquiry. What?! This makes no sense, especially for how long all this might take. Kara called AA and was again told to wait until BCN.

The small bit of “raging idealist” in me thought our luggage should be waiting for us in BCN. That AA knew we were going to BCN via our original ticket and the Air France ticket showed the same. So throw them on whatever the next BCN flight is. Period.

After enduring the long layover at CDG (in a new beautiful Air France, but packed terminal), I put my headphones on to BCN because 1) Chatty Kathy was next to me, 2) Kara and I were 2 rows apart, 3) the aisle dude commandeered the armrest, and 4) Kara & I were both in middle seats.

Arrive at BCN - no luggage. We wait in line at the American luggage desk only to be told to go to the next bay to stand in line for Air France, as apparently it’s the final airlines responsibility to deal with the luggage. So yes, there I am again having a meltdown. Why? We’re told to put in an incident report, which requested our entire cruise port itinerary and that our bags haven’t left PHL! At this time I also got email offering us a chocolate tour for Sunday, but at this late time no refund would be given. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Meltdown Sidenote: Again, many might question the freak out. Here was a much bigger issue. They were now giving us indication they had no idea when or if we might get our bags and we were about to embark on a 7 night cruise with nothing but the literal clothes on our back and whatever snacks & tech we had in our small carry-ons! We knew our same PHL-BCN flight was leaving that night at 7:10pm with an arrival at 9am Saturday morning and basically begged to get our bags on that flight! As it was currently only about noon PHL time, we knew they had plenty of time, but all we were told was they would put in the inquiry (via tele-text?!) and PHL would have to act on it in time. If our bags didn’t arrive on that flight, we’d have only a couple of hours to try to go to unfamiliar stores and buy everything we’d need for PJs, toiletries, dinner clothes, port adventures clothes, and much more.

From Kara - this is where that photo we posted on Facebook came into play. Some might call my family intense. Nearly all the time I call them loving and incredibly supportive. We use an app called GroupMe and we also use Google Location Services to keep track of one another. Gayle and I had difficulty getting on wi-fi at CDG so while my family knew we’d made it there okay because my phone had connected and updated my location, I didn’t really share an update. When we got to BCN and were dealing with the aforementioned request being sent by tele-text, I noticed in the GroupMe app that my aunt mentioned that she’d let a cousin in Phoenix who works for American Airlines know about our plight. My cousin found our record using the photo we’d posted with our boarding pass and, thankfully, our luggage was on the same record as we had actually booked this as one reservation which is not our norm.

Before leaving BCN we somehow had the wherewithal to request the luggage be held at BCN if it arrived, as we didn’t trust and couldn’t take a risk of passing it or a delay in delivery to the hotel &/or ship. We’d determined no matter what we’d return to the airport seeking our luggage Saturday morning, as it was the only real strategy we could take control of.

We finally got to our hotel, AC Hotel Marriott Diagonal D’Illa, around 7:30-8pm and just like in all telling TV shows & films - yes, it was raining. It was fatefully connected to a mall. We ended up with basic chicken sandwiches (and by this I mean crustless white bread with shredded chicken) and water for dinner. I did pick up a piece of chocolate cake, more out of habit than want.

That I couldn’t even bring myself to visit the Disney Store tells you how despondent I was.

Our hotel room was like a “camp version” of a hotel room - just the bare basics. We showered (using every amenity kit we could from the hotel), put our same clothes back on, and borrowed electrical adapters to charge our phones.

By absolute fate we had initially posted a photo of ourselves with our boarding passes on Facebook. I thought I’d covered our confirmation number, but apparently not. Via the “Monroe Family Network” (Kara’s family), her Aunt Idris sent our confirmation number to a distant cousin who happens to work for… American Airlines Customer Service! Through Idris we were told Cousin Kimberley spoke with a supervisor at PHL who had located our bags and would “do their best” to put them on our requested evening flight to arrive at 9am Saturday morning. Another follow-up re-affirmed.

Friday night we also logged onto the Air France baggage site as instructed. The only thing it showed was “luggage found - awaiting confirmation”. At some point I decided trying to apply my social media knowledge (as I’m also a known blogger for a popular TV series). I sent the AA Twitter account a Direct Message with our confirmation number begging them to put our bags on the PHL-BCN 7:10pm-9am flight. Around 10:30pm we got a positive response that yes this would happen!

Between this & Kara’s cousin’s messages, there were more hesitant and slight tears (of relief?), as we feared getting our hopes up.

Continuing to pile on, there was loud party music raging outside our room from somewhere we couldn’t see. So Kara looked for some brainless TV. With my experience in Europe I assured her if she looked long enough she’s probably find NCIS &/or Big Bang Theory. Sure enough Gibbs & the team gave us a slight calm in the midst of our storm. We tried to go to sleep by 11pm (which was only 5pm back home).

I woke up just past 2am. On the AA app it showed our confirmation number to check-in for our PHL-BCN flight - yay! But for a Saturday departure/Sunday arrival - NO! I figured this was our bags and was again defeated. I freaked-out internally while Kara slept. But the AA website showed our bags were loaded onto the requested flight at 3:20pm? Huh? So I took more drugs to get back to sleep.

This is Kara. There isn’t much I can add to this day other than a little more about my, as my niece Ashley said in a Facebook post commenting later on in the week, “creepy” family. Yes, sometimes we are remarkably creepy in how we keep up with each other. But, when push comes to shove, having a team of people in your immediate circle who are always in your corner is reassuring. I’d been checking in with them each time we got a network connection and giving them updates. I got to “meet” my cousin’s wife Kimberley for the first time through this situation and look forward to meeting her in person someday. The family was also watching my Google Location icon pop up all over the world all through the trip. It truly is a good thing to know you’ve got people and they’ve got you too.

Disclaimer: Gayle is a travel agent with Authorized Disney Travel Planner agency - Off to Neverland Travel. Contact me today for a no-obligation quote!

Next up: Embarkation Day! Would the luggage actually arrive?

#2019dclmed

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kurtwarren54 · 5 years

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Baby Sleep Newborn to 5 Months

Today I am sharing our sleep journey with Otis. Let me start by saying that so many of you requested this post and as always, I am sharing our journey with Otis, how his sleep evolved and what worked for us. Each of our little babies are so different so keep in mind what works for one baby and mama doesn’t work for another. Otis has always been a pretty good sleeper from the beginning. I think it is a combination of him just being a good little sleeper and the fact that we were pretty consistent creating good sleep habits from very early on. Otis is 3.5 months in these photos!

Creating a bedtime routine So this might sound a bit intimidating but it’s as easy as just doing a few things to set the mood for sleep. We would dim the lights 1 hour before bedtime, diaper change, swaddle, read a book, offer pacifier, and soothe him before laying him down to go to sleep at night. You might think creating a routine is silly but I think was super helpful since newborns don’t know day from night sleep and this was pretty helpful to regulate his internal clock to the “real world” outside the womb. I will also be honest with you, some nights, we would not read the book, some night you forget to turn the lights down. That is ok! You do your best to be as consistent as you can.

Read a book: It’s amazing how much little ones soak up visually and just listening to our voices. It also creates some great family time for all of us to sit together and enjoy this moment in the evening.

Swaddle: I can’t tell you how much we loved swaddling Otis. At first, they fight it, big time. I feel like most babies fight the swaddle and but in the end, it helps them to calm down and keep their little arms from waking them up because of the startle reflex. This was also a great step in our sleep routines. The swaddle would signify sleep. Our favorite was from Ollie.

Turn off the lights: Since Otis was sleeping in multiple places when he was a tiny newborn, no matter what room we were in, if it was night time sleep we would dim the lights.

Use white noise: For most naps during the day, if he was not in his snoo, we used this hushh portable noise machine. If he was napping while we were out in his car seat we would also use this sound machine. We own of two of them and always keep the second one charged. For night sleep, the Snoo has built in white noise so we used just that while he was in there. Once Otis moved to his crib, we use the hatch nightlight sound machine. The white noise works so well to sooth him, set the mood for sleep, and keep him sleeping.

Use the pacifier: Otis has always soothed himself through sucking so the pacifier has been a really great tool for us (I am not looking forward to the day we have to get rid of it!). When he was little we used the wubbanub but found it would easily fall out of his mouth and we had to keep replacing it. We eventually started using the avent pacifiers and they stayed in his mouth much better.

Places to Sleep SNOO: I get so many questions to this day on whether the Snoo was worth the money. After fully using it and transitioning out of it, I would 500% recommend this to a new mama that is on the fence about it! We used the Snoo mostly at night until he got a bit older to start him doing naps. Since Otis was a houdini escape artist with his arms, we always double swaddled him. Meaning we would swaddle him in our Ollie swaddle and then put him in the Snoo sack that attaches into the Snoo. This was a game changer once we started doing this. To put him to sleep the key to success was making sure he was a little bit sleepy, but not totally asleep before putting him in. We put limits on our motions so that it would not go over level 2. We had a rough patch with the Snoo between months 1 and 2 because we were still figuring out how to put Otis to sleep. Once we tried all the tips I explained above, we had success with the Snoo. And then, our night time sleep got AMAZING. All of a sudden one day, I woke up and it had been 6 hours since my last feed. It was a game changer!! I think the other key thing for me was that he was strapped safely on his back so there was never a moment I had to worry about his safety during those hard nights of no sleep. The Snoo is pretty pricey but in my opinion it’s worth every penny if you are able to budget for it. I also love that they just started doing Snoo rentals to make it more affordable and accessible.

Dockatot: I loved the dockatot. It was easy to move it from room to room for naps and even nighttime sleep. On hard nights where Otis was not taking to the Snoo, we would use the dockatot either inside the Snoo bassinet (turned off of course) or on the bed in between us. We tried to not use it in bed at night and mostly just for the last stretch of nap in the morning. What is so great is that it created a really safe barrier around him and kept him nice and cozy and still safely on his back for sleep. So if you are looking for a good co-sleeping solution to keep baby safe, great place for naps, or place for baby to “hang out in” the dockatot would really fit that bill for you. The dockatot came in handy also for traveling. Since he was used to hanging out and napping in it, we could easily bring it to hotels with us and put it in the crib and he would sleep no problem.

Fisher Price Auto Rock n’ Play: This was also another game changer sleep option for Otis. He loved sleeping in this and it was also easy to move from room to room. We used this mostly for naps. We also used this for nighttime sleep right next to our bed when Otis went through his initial tough period with the Snoo. As parents your start getting creative finding ways to help your baby to sleep and this came in handy so many times.

Baby Carriers: Solly Baby, BabyBjorn One Carrier, Colugo were my favorite carriers for baby wearing naps. I used the solly a lot around the house when Otis was a newborn. It was just so soft and light and it didn’t take me very long to get a hang of the wrap job. The BabyBjorn was one of my friend adjustable carriers and it was such a game changer when we were out and about especially when we had a few weekend trips. So nice to keep baby close and not have to worry about re-wrapping my wrap when I am out and about. A newer carrier I am loving is the Colugo carrier. It’s pretty lightweight which is super appealing to me and snaps together just as quickly as the babybjorn. Basically we have a bunch of carriers in our house an alot of time we have one adjusted for Blake and one adjusted for me.

Other Sleep Tools TakingCaraBabies Sleep Course: Being a first time mom, I had no idea what I was doing!! And I am someone that loves to research and read to learn anything and everything I can. I had heard such great things about Cara’s course and decided it was worth it to invest in her newborn course. It was a set of videos as well as a pdf and it gave lots of great tips on setting up good sleep practices for a newborn but without being too rigid and plenty of room for flexibility. Even if you don’t take any of her courses, she gives alot of great tips on her instagram account here. Blake and I actually watched all the videos together (during our many sleepless nights) and it really helped us to be on the same page taking care of Otis and coming up with a plan together.

Otis Sleep Schedule For the first month, there was no schedule. There would be cluster feeds, shorts cat naps. Nothing is set in stone. It’s a bit of a roller coaster that you just have to ride to figure out what your little one needs. While it was unpredictable, Otis did start to get on his own schedule pretty early on after the first month. He was pretty consistently eating every 3 hours so in turn he was also sleeping consistently. The most important things was to watch his wake windows to ensure he stayed awake long enough but not let him get over tired. You can look up what your proper wake window of time needs to be from the start of your feed to when they nap based on the babies age. When they are newborns they aren’t awake for very long and as they get older they stay awake for much longer. This was a big key in getting him to nap and sleep easier. An overtired fussy baby is not easy to put to bed. No fun for anyone.

It was around 2 months that Otis started to sleep 6-8 hours stretches at night in the Snoo and it was the most game changer thing to happen!!! When you are used to only having 3 hours (or less) between feedings when that time doubles and you get to sleep a little bit longer, things just get amazing. You start to finally feel like a new person!! It’s during this time where we started to create some schedules to loosely stick to. We picked 8PM as bedtime and would put him to sleep around then for his bedtime sleep and then we would wake him for a dream feed before 11PM. A dream feed is basically a feeding that is supposed to be given to baby without really waking them up. But more realistically this feeding aligns babies longest chunk of sleep with our own. So we would always go to sleep after Otis had his dream feed. This dream feed worked great for Otis. Once 3 months hit, Otis was in a pretty good schedule. We continued to keep an 8pm bedtime and 7am wake up time.

Below is what his typical day looks like at 3 and at 5 Months. Keep in mind, this is flexible and it never stays on track. But we really try to keep 7AM a hard wake up time. For instance, if he is up at 6:30AM and in his crib chatting and hanging out, we leave him in there until 7 and then go in and wake him up to really reinforce that wake up time for him. Sometimes if he’s too fussy or really hungry we don’t have a choice and have to go get him earlier but we do our best to stick to that.

OTIS 3 MONTH Sleep + Feed Schedule Wake + Feed #1: 7AM Nap #1: 8:30-9:00AM Feed #2: 10AM Nap #2: 12PM Feed #3: 1PM Nap #3: 3PM Feed #4: 4PM Nap #4: 6PM Feed #5: 7PM Bedtime: 8PM Dream feed: 10:30PM

OTIS 5 MONTH Sleep + Feed Schedule Wake + Feed #1: 7AM Nap #1: 8:30-9:00AM Feed #2: 10AM Nap #2: 12PM Feed #3: 1PM Nap #3: 3PM (sometimes this nap gets skipped and he stays awake) Feed #4: 4PM Nap #4: 6PM (this is usually a quick cat nap) Feed #5: 7PM Bedtime: 8PM

As far as naps go currently for our little 5 Month old, we are still figuring out what works for him. He is skipping the 3PM nap a lot but usually always needs a nap before bedtime so he is not extremely overtired. Will report back on his nap schedule once it gets a bit more regular for him.

Transitioning out of Swaddle Otis started rolling over (from back to front) at 3 months and then fully rolling both directions (front to back and back to front) at 4 months. That meant one thing… it was time to transition out of the swaddle. I WAS SO SAD!! I came to love the comfort the swaddle gave Otis but once they are rolling it’s time to free their arms so they are able to roll freely in their crib. So around 3 months we started to transition him out.

Since Otis was still sleeping in his snoo, we realized that the medium sized snoo sacks have little snaps at the shoulders so you can swaddle them with their arms out. We started by transitioning Otis to 1 arm out during this night sleep. The best time to test this out is at night when baby is at their sleepiest. So we tried one arm out. It was kind of a disaster. Having his arm out just woke up him and he quickly woke a few hours after going to sleep. So once he woke up, we fully swaddled him again until the morning. Each night, we would swaddle him with 1 arm out and see how long he could sleep before having to swaddle him completely again. This is an easy way to test out the waters and get them used to it slowly. We tried the cold turkey method and it just was NOT for us. He acclimated a lot faster than I would have thought given how rocky the first few days were. After about a week he was sleeping normally again with 1 arm out and we even tried naps with 1 arm out once he was sleeping well at night.

After 1 week, we decided to go for it with 2 arms out of the swaddle. The great thing was that he was still being “hugged” by the sack but his arms were free. Took him only a few days to adjust to 2 arms out of the swaddle. This weaning off the swaddle really worked for Otis. Slow and steady and letting him lead the way.

Transitioning from bassinet (Snoo) to Crib This process scared the living shit out of me. At this point, Otis was still sleeping in his snoo in our bedroom right next to our bed. The idea of moving him out of the snoo AND out of our bedroom just broke my heart. My little man!!!! I wanted him close but honestly it was time for him to be in his crib with his rolling I had to man up and get him prepared for that.

Since he was already used to sleeping arms out in the snoo, I decided to make sure he would be comfortable in his crib to test out some naps in the crib wearing a sleep sack. The sleep sack I sleep him in is from halosleep and I love that it still swaddles his upper body because otherwise he pulls and chews the extra fabric. We monitored him closely over our baby monitor to make sure he was ok rolling in this crib and comfortable in his sleep sack during his daytime naps. Of course there is a learning curve with each new transition but Otis was doing great. After about a week of naps, we were ready to make the jump.

We moved the snoo from our bedroom into his nursery to make the first transition. We let him sleep in his snoo for 2 nights and then decided since his sleep was the same, we would move him to his crib on night 3. I WAS SO NERVOUS. I don’t think Blake and I slept a wink that night. Going from the safety of being clipped into the sides of the snoo to free roaming in a swaddle in this giant crib intimidated me but our little Oats was ready.

On night 3 we laid him to sleep in his crib wearing his sleep sack, closed the door, and hoped for the best. Our eyes were peeled on our monitors all night. I am a bit overboard here and we use both the Nanit (which we have mounted on the corner of our crib until he is standing in crib) and then we have a Nest Cam in the corner of the room that shows the whole nursery. So we were able to check multiple angles of him in the crib. Like I said… overboard. But, you do what you feel comfortable with. I think the scariest thing once they start to roll is that they start to sleep on their stomach and you just worry about whether they can breathe. Blake and I would go in just to put our hands on his back to make sure he was breathing some nights. Also sometimes he would get onto his stomach and just get so frustrated that we would have to still help him roll back over even though he was totally capable of doing it on his own. So there was a transition here of making sure to give him the help when he needed it. He really got the swing of things within a week of transitioning him into the crib. I AM SO PROUD. It’s amazing how these milestones just creep up and all of a sudden, you have this grown up baby, sleeping in their own room. At first, I was so sad… the empty spot where the snoo sat next to my bed, the empty dresser where our changing station used to be. But then Blake reminded me, “Our little Oats is growing up! It’s a time to celebrate his achievements.” He was so right. I am one to get overly sentimental during these changes but he always puts things into perspective that these developments just mean we have a healthy and happy man that is growing and changing and that is a beautiful thing.

Overall, these transitions went pretty well for us. But don’t let that fool you. We still had nights where we woke up multiple times to pop in his paci, roll him over, or help him. Baby sleep is a rollercoaster of ups and downs but I do have to say that Otis is a great little sleeper.

The 4 Month Sleep Regression… that never really happened? So the 4 month sleep regression is a REAL thing. The stories I have heard from some moms… it’s tough on both baby and parents. I think because we were going through so many changes with getting out of the swaddle, getting out of the bassinet, and moving him into his crib that for me, it didn’t seem he regressed with night time sleep at all.

Where I did see a regression was with naps! He was always a great napper until about this time. Even now at 5 months naps are a new challenge for us and we are still learning what he needs. When I say he regressed with naps, he just lost his consistency with them. He used to take nice long naps until this regression and then they became much shorter, he would skip some, and it just made for an overall cranky bedtime since by the end of the day he was really exhausted from the missed nap time. Now that he has hit 5 months, I feel we are getting closer to knowing how many naps he needs during a day and to make sure to watch his sleep cues. Basically his awake windows are much longer now since he is older so it’s important for us to keep him up longer but to also recognize when he is on the edge of being tired but not overtired. I look for his yawns, rubbing his eyes, heavy eyes and his behavior and mood. So we are getting back on track with naps and of course will give you all our experience once we have it figured out!

Weaning the dream feed I get a lot of questions about whether Otis sleeps through the night, which he does! (OTIS YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!!) I was still doing the dream feed through month 4. At this point, I was waking my baby who was dead asleep to give him his dream feed. I mean out. Like I really needed to coax him to wake up to feed him. So one day I thought to myself, what if I don’t wake him up for his dream feed? Will he still sleep till 7am?? I thought it was time to experiment.

My thoughts here was that if he truly needed that 6th feeding of the day, he would eventually wake up again (about 3 hours after his last feeding) and be cranky because he was hungry and needed to eat. So one night I just let him sleep and cut out the dream feed and pumped milk instead. And guess what? HE SLEPT TILL 7am. I decided that it was important to give this a few nights to make sure he wasn’t waking up looking for that additional meal. After 3 nights, he was still sleeping through the night so we decided to fully drop the dream feed. I also eventually dropped the dream pump as well. Because more sleep was key. By the end of the day, even though Otis is sleeping through the night, I am still exhausted and sometimes try to go to sleep when Otis does. Or I pass out on the couch often. Mom life right!?!? It’s nice to be one less feed a day. I just need to watch my boobs since I am SUPER full in the morning now.

Soothing Baby to Sleep So at this point, we haven’t started sleep training Otis officially. But, we have been practicing good sleep practices since birth so I think it’s all helped him on the way to being a good little sleeper. We noticed that Otis would soothe himself to sleep pretty easily so once we noticed that, we tried to keep encouraging it by putting him in crib awake, offering his pacifier, putting our hand on his chest with a little love, and then leaving the room immediately. It’s amazing to see that sometimes he just puts himself right to sleep. There are other times that we need to go in, quickly replace his pacifier, and then quickly leave the room. We try to keep our intervening to a minimal.

We try not to rock him to sleep in our arms unless he’s unusually fussy. I think with all the transitions with learning to wear his helmet and going through leaps and growth spurts that we have been having to rock him a bit more recently but overall, we try to let him put himself to sleep. Like I said, we haven’t started any formal sleep training yet but when we do, I will let you know how it goes! I think having the patience to sit through a crying baby is really hard. But it’s clear that he can put himself to sleep. A lot of times in the night, he will sleep cry and even if you go check in, his eyes are completely shut and he cries out in his sleep and then goes back to bed. I didn’t know that baby can “sleep cry” but it’s a thing! Wild.

That’s all for now. I feel like we are constantly learning and evolving as parents and what our little ones need and I will keep you posted as we move into the months ahead. Feel free to leave any questions on this blog post and I will be happy to answer or update the blog post to reflect them.

Other related Baby Posts: NEWBORN MUST HAVES // BREASTFEEDING + PUMPING // GIFTS FOR NEW MOMS

crib // pillow // crib sheet // pajamas // artwork // mobile (similar)

The post Baby Sleep Newborn to 5 Months appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

from Wellness https://www.eatsleepwear.com/2019/02/13/baby-sleep-newborn-to-5-months/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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elizabethcariasa · 5 years

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Baby Sleep Newborn to 5 Months

Turn off the lights: Since Otis was sleeping in multiple places when he was a tiny newborn, no matter what room we were in, if it was night time sleep we would dim the lights.

OTIS 3 MONTH Sleep + Feed Schedule Wake + Feed #1: 7AM Nap #1: 8:30-9:00AM Feed #2: 10AM Nap #2: 12PM Feed #3: 1PM Nap #3: 3PM Feed #4: 4PM Nap #4: 6PM Feed #5: 7PM Bedtime: 8PM Dream feed: 10:30PM

Other related Baby Posts: NEWBORN MUST HAVES // BREASTFEEDING + PUMPING // GIFTS FOR NEW MOMS

crib // pillow // crib sheet // pajamas // artwork // mobile (similar)

The post Baby Sleep Newborn to 5 Months appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

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eclectichippieca · 5 years

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A Week in the Eclectic Hippie Household

On most Thursdays we have 3 kids under 3 during the day. It's busy and fun and ultimately a blast! But it has its challenges when it is really the only day we have at home in a week. A little look into a week in the Eclectic Hippie Household!

Monday's are fun!

I wake at 6am to make sure I have some alone time/husband time before kids start waking and getting to our house. My first Dayhome kiddo shows up before we are even awake. She is put back to bed by her mom in my step daughter's room each morning, or she spends the night if we had an event the evening before. 7am our house gets noisy. I wake up both girls and our second Dayhome kiddo arrives. Our little guy, F, is usually up around this time too.

We spend our morning getting ready for school and playgroup. 8am the Bigs are sent to school with my homeschooler, A, she walks the dogs and the kids to school. A gets home, dogs get kenneled and we grab our lunches and jump in the vehicle to head to playgroup. Playgroup is planning and time of its own as well, that time comes out of my quiet time usually. Home from playgroup by 1ish (sometimes closer to 3 if there was work to be done in the classroom.) We have lunch, homeschool, reading and spend time together, just me and my kids (sometimes we have extra toddler who don't go to school on these days too.)

Just before 3pm A leaves for the school to pick up the 4-5 kiddos who come after school. Monday's are “Chill Day” as decided by me and the kids in September. We have snack, watch tv or play video games. Toys, puzzles and games are always an option.

Most of the Dayhome kids are gone home by 430-5pm. Our friends come over for Friends’ Dinner. Usually 5-830 or 9. Kids go to bed. Hubby and I have some couple's time at this point. Usually in bed sleeping by 10 or 11

Tuesdays are school focused.

Tuesdays are similar to Monday's to start, the kids are the same, the schedule is similar only I get up at 630 and don't have playgroup prep.

A walks the kids and dogs, she gets home and we start school work. Math, reading, baking, science experiments, crafts and art, etc. Whatever we had planned for the morning. Piano practice. Snacks…. All of the snacks! F plays with flash cards, matching etc. He is learning french when we work with those flashcards for A.

Piano lessons are at 1pm. We drive 20kmseach way for lessons. When we get home around 2 we spend some time just chilling or reading.

A goes back to the school for 3pm. Library day, the big kids who can read go and enjoy half an hour of reading and a treat, while the Non-reading Bigs come home with me. No screen afternoons. Lego, outside, puzzles, games, crafts etc. 4:30-5pm everyone goes home.

Family night. Some school, some reading, sometimes a movie, lots of playing, cooking meals together etc.

Tuesdays are mine and the hubby's gaming night together. We pretty much exclusively play Destiny 2. Him and our clan help me rush through the weekly needed things to help me keep up with our group. This is when new things are released as well. We always run new content storyline stuff together. Its neat to have someone who is willing to help you through even though you can't do it as much as everyone else. I definitely never feel left out when we game on Tuesdays! In bed by 11 at the latest.

Wednesdays are straight up wacky!

Mornings go the same as Monday only we don't leave the house until 8:30am.

Home from playgroup around Noon. Lunch, piano practice, school work, of course some cuddles. A heads to the school just before 3. Except on 2 Wednesdays a month when we go to the Hall at 2:30pm to set up for a Gym Program that we volunteer for. She goes to bring the kids to the Hall at 3. Wednesday is a Video game day if we are home.

On Gym Program day, we spend from 2:30pm until 5:30pm playing, running and having a blast with friends. Also full set up and clean up.

5:45 we are in the vehicle heading to Lacombe for youth group. It starts at 6:15pm until 8pm. I go out with a friend or a few friends once a month for Mommies’ Night Out, which I organize, during this time so that I have some time out of the house alone. Daddy stays home with LO. At 5:45 while leaving town we pick up 3 extra kiddos, one of which who spends the night every Wednesday unless there is a holiday.

8:45pm we are done drop offs and home and getting ready for bed. Wednesday nights are hubby's gaming night. I usually take the time after the kids go to bed to do some crafts or I will game if I feel like it. Wednesdays are about kids and self care. We go to bed around 11pm. Most Wednesdays I'm in bed before then.

Thursday are full of toddlers!

Like Tuesdays, we have a bit of a slower start. Once the bigs are off to school and my little lady is home from her walk we have about half an hour before the house fills with toddlers, sometimes 4 plus LO. Little lady starts school work right away on these days, she can get more concentration time that way. Then it starts! A day of her helping me with the littles; we do the cooking, she helps with chores and bum changes, and playing etc. She bakes with my instruction, we cook lunch, play with babies, read to them, she loves to imagines with them (one of my favorite things about her!). We keep busy! But we don't leave home all day other than school pickup trips! We have so much fun and find our most learning in these days.

Movies and treats are common during nap time on Thursdays. 3pm A gets the kids and most Thursdays go to Craft Time at the library. They get home around 4 to have snack and play for a bit. Another no video game day. Everyone goes home 4:30-5pm. Youth group number two is on Thursday nights at 630pm. This one is in our village. This is when LO gets an evening of one on one with both parents. We pick her up at 8pm, we read, get ready for bed and it's bedtime at 9. Hubby and I spend time together, usually in bed by 10 to be well rested going into the weekend.

Fun, Funky Fridays!

The school in our village has Proffessional Development days almost every other week. So on PD days, we have all of the Bigs at our house. If we have enough seats for us to travel, we all go to a Homeschool Gathering where kids of all age play games, do STEM and STEAM activities, group activities and so much more, from 1-3 in the same town as piano lessons. PD days vary in what we do to fill our time. Sometimes the kids had a busy week and just need a rest day, other Fridays we need to be going non-stop to keep everyone busy.

On school days, mornings are like Tuesday and Thursdays, not too busy, slower starting. This day we do meal planning, grocery lists, house cleaning, playgroup planning, linen washing, general household catch up and so much more. School work is a priority on school day Fridays. A will generally do 2 math lessons, and LOTS of reading and writing, on top of everything else we do.

After school A picks up the kids and we either all go to Free movie Friday (once a month) or home to enjoy some gaming or tv time. We generally have popcorn and a special treat in these days.

Dayhome ends 4:30-5pm. 6pm we jump in the vehicle to go get T and K 3 out of 4 weekends a month. They are my bonus babies, Hubby's kidlets. Home for just before 7, eat quickly and bring T to youth group. F goes to bed, Hubby games, I spend girl time with the girls, K and A. If the girls want to play alone I let them, I will then game with Hubby. 10pm one of us goes to grab T from youth group. Bedtime for the kids after a late night snack. On Fridays we don't have T and K we typically have at least one other child who comes to spend time with A, or A will go somewhere for the night or weekend (that's rare though, probably once in every 3-4 months.)

Weekends are for family.

With a week like the one we have, when we get the time to be just a family it feels so good and so right. We all crave to be together, so our weekends are now our family time. This time used to be filled with appts, events, friends, family, camping, etc. But since having another little in the house and life has been getting busier and busier with these new ages of the big kids, we now take this time to be grounded at home. We don't shop over the weekend, we wait till drop off on Sunday, or sometimes we will go in 15 minutes early on Friday to grab a few things we missed for the weekend. We don't leave the house unless we have to. We no longer go out for dinner, we don't go to friends houses unless there is an event we have been invited too. Not because we don't want too, but simply because our life in simpler this way. We are so busy all the time with the things WE feel are important to our family, that we have to limit the things we don't hold at the top of the list of priorities.

Weekends can still be busy in their own ways that get us out of the house, traveling to see grandparents, birthday parties, friend invites, church gatherings, local events, but these things we keep to a minimum. If friends can come to us we will always have an open door. But with 4 kids, 13, 10, 9 and 2.5 it's hard to be anywhere that suits all of their needs. Home is just best for us right now! There are not many of these years left. “The days are long but the years are short” I read it in memes all the time, but it's true. It's profound and it's real.

So this is what our general weeks look like. We are busy and on the go all the time. But we are putting family at the center as much as we can in this crazy life! I'm so incredibly blessed to be able to do all of these things and have my children be as happy as they are with the busy, chaotic life we lead in the Eclectic Hippie Household.

Peace and love!

God bless!

Eclectic Hippie

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tsgaustintexas · 6 years

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24 Hours With: VANNAGRAM & CO

Let’s get one thing straight, Emily Forsythe Shrode’s days are never dull. As the Owner of Vannagram & Co, her schedule is filled with events, styled shoots, client meetings, back-end logistics and much, much more.

We first met over 3 years ago when we teamed up on an activation for Umlauf’s Garden Party and I was instantly impressed with her energy and enthusiasm (and her effortless style). When I learned that she and her husband, Jared, took a sabbatical to visit 17 West-Cost National Parks in #annathevanna, I officially knew I had to make her my friend. Not only is she an absolute ray of sunshine and a delight to spend time with, she works so hard to make sure everything is perfect and stress-free on your event day.

As a new mom, she hasn’t slowed down one bit and is giving us an inside look at how she balances motherhood with the 24/7 hustle of owning her own business. For a daily dose of Emily and the Van Fam, follow Vannagram on Instagram.

5:30am | Wake up to our 8-month-old, Joaquin babbling in his crib. Hideout in bed until his chatting starts to turn into crying, grab a bottle from the fridge and feed him until he begins to doze off, until wake up numero dos.

7:30am | Roll out of bed and prepare breakfast for Joaquin. After what is *sometimes* a long night of interrupted sleep (ahem, an 8-month-old babe who rarely decides to sleep through the night!) this momma makes a matcha green tea latte to get me energized for the day! I used to go straight for the French press coffee, but have recently swapped it with matcha because it gives me more of a clean, caffeinated high versus the caffeine spike and crash that coffee gives. Plus there are loads of antioxidants! I typically make mine at home, but if I dare to venture out, Zhi Tea on the Eastside makes a mean matcha!

8am | Kiss Jared goodbye as he heads off to work! Make my daily to-do list, check emails, send proposals for inquiries that came through overnight, catch up on social media and prepare my Instagram post(s) for the day/week ahead. Right now we have a giveaway going on where we have teamed up with some local brands we love (shout out to YETI, Hotel Ella, Elizabeth Volk Design and Nine-Banded Whiskey) to give away a Texas-sized tailgate-themed prize package for the ultimate game day experience! Check it out on our Instagram and enter to win!

9am - 9:45am | Go for a run to accomplish three goals at once: clear my head for the day, train for the 3M Half Marathon that I am running in January and to get Joaquin to take his morning nap in the jogging stroller. My husband is the real runner of the family, I am just an amateur, but I have grown to enjoy it! I am more of a group workout class kind of gal because it helps motivate me (love my Mod Fitness workouts!) but I recently discovered the automated Couch to 13.1 app to help me train. It is much more manageable and motivating than just trying to go out and run on my own willpower.

11:30am | Arrive at June’s with Joaquin in tow for a lunch meeting with an event planner to chat design details for an upcoming wedding we have on the books. I don’t always bring the little one along, but he tends to be requested when a lunch is scheduled. Before I know it he’ll be walking and on the move, so he will definitely not be allowed to tag along, but I enjoy having him by my side for the time being. My favorite go-to dishes: if I’m being bad then the Fried Chicken Sandwich and if I’m being good then the Matzo Ball Caldo, but both always with their skinny cut frites! :)

12:30pm | On the way to my car, I pop my head in Lucy in Disguise to see if there are any new sunglasses or hats I might need to refresh our prop collection. They always have the most unique items in town!

12:45pm | Head back to the house to put down the babe for his nap. This means time for me to catch up on emails and return any phone calls I might’ve missed throughout the day.

2pm | Site visit at Hotel Ella to discuss where the bus will pull in on the lawn for an upcoming event and any inclement weather plans we need to put into place. We will be posted up this Saturday, October 13th for the last game of their Fancy Tailgate Series. Interested in attending and cheering on the Longhorns as face up against the Baylor Bears? Snag your tickets here!

Photo by Jake Holt

3pm | Second site visit of the day to view a fairly new venue, Springdale Station located on the Eastside next door to Friends & Allies Brewery. I am meeting up with the Executive Director of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, Central Texas Chapter to discuss having the Vannagram at their inaugural Backyard Ball event geared towards young professionals. This event will incorporate some of our cities finest restaurants, chefs, breweries and live music to raise money for a cause that is near and dear to my heart. We love working with our city’s non-profits to give back to the community that has been so generous to us! If you are interested in attending Backyard Ball on October 18th, you can purchase tickets here!

4pm | Life can’t be all work and no fun! So Joaquin and I head to the park to do his favorite thing: swing! I pop my earbuds in and hop on a work phone call with an event planner for a corporate event we have coming up to coordinate logistics and any creative ways that we can fully customize the bus to incorporate branding into their client’s activation. If we have an evening event, this would be about the time that I would load up the bus and head out.

5:30pm | If we don’t have an event, I begin to prep dinner while Joaquin hangs out in his jumper and watches me. Making dinner is something that I enjoy doing most evenings. I flip on music and get creative by either semi-following a recipe and adding touches of my own to it. Some of my favorite go-to local blogs I get recipes from are: Gourmamanda.com (who is doing a revamp of her website currently, stay tuned!), Camille Styles’ Recipe Files and The Defined Dish. These days I like to choose recipes that are quick and tasty with little clean up so I am a big fan of anything that can be made solely in a cast iron skillet or on a sheet pan.

Roasted Chili-Orange Salmon with Garlic & Green Veggies via Camille Styles

6pm - 7pm | Dinner, bath time and bedtime routine for Joaquin! Jared and I take turns finishing up cooking our own dinner and getting Joaquin ready for bed. We tag team and one of us puts down Joaquin and the other one handles dinner so that we can eat at a semi-decent hour!

8pm | Finally sit down, eat dinner with the hubs and recap our days.

9pm - 11pm | Tackle any emails I didn’t get to earlier in the day, work on designing photo and GIF templates or putting the finishing touches on a custom backdrop that I am creating for an upcoming event. I always leave my more tedious design work for later in the evening when I can focus and not be distracted.

Vannagram at SXSW 2017 with LeCroix

11:30pm | FINALLY time for me to kick my feet up and head to bed! Wash my face, brush my teeth and flip on my diffuser to put me right to sleep, errr until Joaquin decides to wake me up!

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zbealer · 7 years

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December 2016

On December 1st my trip across Guatemala with my best friend continued as we traveled from Quetzaltenango to Lake Atitlán, which is one of the prettiest lakes I’ve ever been to in my life. We left around 1PM and arrived around 5PM. We dropped off our stuff at the hotel then went to eat lunch/dinner. Since Guatemala is so close to the equator the sun always rises at 6AM and sets at 6PM, which means by the time we got done eating it was already getting dark. We decided to walk around a bit before going back to the hotel, which had an awesome terrace, to drink with some friends we had met on the bus to the lake before heading out. That night we got back to the hotel pretty late and stayed up literally all night catching up on each other’s lives. After seeing the sunrise we decided to get some rest. That day we didn’t wake up until the late afternoon then we went to eat at one of my favorite restaurants in San Pedro (the town we were staying at on the lake) and Audrey wanted to do some shopping so I helped her look around for what she needed. I have a favorite spot on some rocks that look out over the lake that I wanted to show Audrey as the sun was going down. In the same spot there were quite a few Guatemalans in their skivvies jumping off the rocks into the lake. After the sun went down we got another bite to eat, hung out on the terrace, then went out for a little bit.

Strolling around the lake

Our new friends

On Friday the second we took a shuttle at 8:30AM to Antigua. We arrived around lunch time and dropped off our stuff at my friend’s house then went to check out some of the old church ruins there. Although Antigua is arguably the prettiest town in Guatemala due to it’s colonial architecture (and construction laws that keep it that way) it is probably one of my least favorite towns due to the amount of tourists and things that remind me of the United States. One thing I was oblivious to until recently was the amount of old church/convent/monastery ruins there – I’m pretty sure there are 9 sites total. If I would’ve known about the ruins earlier I’m sure I would’ve visited them all. Unfortunately, since we spent a good chunk of time in each place. The first place we went to was an old convent used in the 1700s. I was most surprised by the size of the rooms the nuns had – it was hard for me to get a picture of the whole thing due to how small they were. Apart from that it was cool to see everything so intact – the kitchen, bathrooms, church, and common areas. Afterwards we headed over to an old monastery that was built in 1717 and destroyed the same year by an earthquake. I found it a bit comical/sad that the people wanting to build it solicited money from Spain in order to do so, but were denied because they felt there was already enough Catholic presence in the area and it wasn’t necessary. Their stubbornness got the best of them and they decided to build it anyways just to have it destroyed the same year by a natural disaster.

At the monastery

The old church at the convent

The nun’s rooms

Inside one of the rooms

Bathtubs

Where they washed their clothes/habits

When the sun had gone down we met up with one of my friends who lives in Antigua, who also happened to have his best friend visiting from a different town. We got dinner together then went back to his house to shower up and get ready for the night and we all went out together. The main two reasons people visit Antigua is because of the colonial architecture/ruins and the night life – the town is littered with bars and clubs, and since it is a popular tourist spot it in probably the safest place in Guatemala to walk around without worrying that something will happen to you. Since it’s only an hour’s drive from Guatemala City many capitalinos (people that live in the capital) frequently visit Antigua to party on the weekend.

My friend Edwin, Audrey, and I

2 pairs of best friends in this picture

The next day I met up with one of my friends from Antigua early for breakfast before she went to work to be able to catch up a bit before meeting up with Audrey and the rest of my friends for lunch. Audrey and I then took the bus to Guatemala City, as it was our final destination before she headed back to the United States. I wanted to show her the national palace, but we were both pretty drained from the week of traveling so we decided to just stay in the area around my friend’s apartment and chat since she had to be at the airport at 5AM the next day.

My original plan was to leave Guatemala City on Monday the 5th, but my friend Alvaro who I was staying with invited me to a convivio that same day. Convivios are the Guatemalan version of Christmas parties, and they are really common here. There are friend convivios, workplace convivios, and in Alvaro’s case gym member convivios. Obviously I’m not a member at his gym, but that didn’t matter. We went with a group of his friends (some guys from Argentina, two girls from Peru, and a guy from Brazil) who were members as well. I have to say I didn’t expect much, but it was a lot more fun than I had expected – the meal was delicious (with free booze) and afterwards there was a dance (and we were the last ones to leave).

At the convivio

I decided to stay until that Wednesday because it was Alvaro’s birthday, and I wanted to help him celebrate. Since I hadn’t planned to stay three extra days (and I’ve already seen everything I wanted to see in Guatemala City) I didn’t really have much to do. I decided to head to a bookstore to buy a couple books in Spanish to help my vocabulary and reading comprehension. I bought El Colonel No Tiene Quien Le Escriba and El Lustrador and enjoyed both of them. I’ve only read 4 books total in Spanish, but I can tell that with each book I read my need to use a dictionary is decreased every time. Unfortunately my favorite books are non-fiction, which has more complex vocabulary, thus making it a bit more difficult for me to read without using a dictionary. On Wednesday the 7th a bunch of Alvaro’s friends from various countries (Argentina, Spain, Peru, and Guatemala) and I all got together at a Greek restaurant for the ”All You Can Eat BBQ and Greek salad.” I knew to pace myself with the salad, but when they gave me my plate full of nearly two pounds of sirloin, ribeye steak, filet mignon, and longanizas I knew it would be quite the feat. I was able to finish it all, but it definitely wasn’t easy (and I falsely promised myself to reduce my intake of meat for the next few days). Afterwards we all went back to Alvaro’s apartment to hang out a bit before calling it a night.

Alvaro’s birthday party dinner

The next day I came back to Quetzaltenango and went to visit my friends Margarita and Giulia. Giulia is one of those friends you meet and instantly get along really well, and she’s Italian so I take advantage of any opportunity I have to cook with her. That day we made another “pasta invention,” which consisted of us throwing random ingredients together with some pasta, and it turned out delicious.

One of my good friends, Maritza, used to work at a café here that is very famous for their mojitos. I knew I would be leaving Guatemala soon, and one of my wishes before that happened was to have her teach me the secret recipe (to which she agreed). When we get together we usually make lunch as well, and this time we decided to make dobladas. Surprisingly despite Guatemala’s small size there are many drastic changes in the climate, language, and foods depending on which region you’re in. The dobladas we made were the “costal” version, whereas they are completely different when I’ve asked for them in the capital. The ones we made consisted of shredded chicken inside a thin tortilla with cream, lettuce, radish, and onion on top. Simple and delicious. After we got done eating we called up some other friends to come over and hang out with us. Unfortunately I had to work at 9 that night, so I wasn’t able to stay over there as late as I would have liked to.

Lunch & Mojitos with Maritza

The next day I met up with one of my old co-workers from Argentina, Romi. We spent the whole day at her apartment talking since we hadn’t seen each other in quite some time, cooking, and listening to music. I had planned on going to a concert that night with some friends, but unfortunately they backed out last minute. I really miss going to concerts so I decided I would go by myself if I had to, but luckily Romi said she would go with me go I would have some company. Although she had no idea who was playing it just so turned out that one of her friends was an opening DJ, and after he got done he came over to hang out with us for the rest of the show. When the concert ended around 12:30AM we all headed back to Romi’s place and had our own little “after party” while he put on music for us.

At the concert

On Sunday the 11th a group of friends and I decided to have our “friend convivio” at a nice pool/hotel/restaurant on the coast to get away from Xela’s cold climate. We ordered a huge plate of mixed seafood – shrimp, crab, oysters, squid, crappie, and tilapia. The original plan was to take a dip in the pool afterwards, however as we were eating someone mentioned a Jurassic Park themed park nearby and we decided to change our plans. I’m not a huge Jurassic Park fan (and the park seemed to be geared more towards children), but I did enjoy walking around with my friends. Different robotic dinosaurs were scattered throughout the park (which was a lot bigger than I expected) with scientific descriptions of each one next to them. We left right as the park was closing down and headed back to Quetzaltenango, which was about an hour’s drive away. I went to another “friend convivio” the following day, but this time it seemed to be amongst a group of foreigners here in Xela which a few Guatemalans thrown in the mix.

At the pool

“Jurassic Park”

Although I don’t have a “formal” job here in Xela I am usually able to keep myself busy with random side jobs that also help me out financially. On the 15th I had an interview to be a translator for a group of medical students that are coming to do volunteer work for a week at a few different clinics in the Xela area, and to my luck they hired me on the spot. Afterwards I headed over to my old host family’s house to help celebrate my “little brother’s” 16th birthday. Afterwards I met up with an old co-worker from the colegio where I used to work to get a coffee and catch up before I headed to Coatepeque with my best friend, his girlfriend, and her twin sister.

One interesting migratory thing between Mexico and Guatemala is the fact that Mexicans can enter Guatemala with their passport and are automatically given a 90-day tourist visa; however Guatemalans do not have this same privilege. Guatemalans have two options: either apply for a Mexican tourist visa (which takes time, paperwork, and money) that grants them the normal 180-day tourist visa upon entering Mexico, or a “pass,” which only grants them the right to be in the three most southern Mexican states for a maximum of three days. In order to get the “pass” one must stand in line on the Mexican-Guatemalan border with a photocopy of their identification and wait their turn to get everything processed. It doesn’t sound to bad, but they only grant 150 “passes” a day and there are many people that want them.

Vivi (my best friend’s girlfriend) and her twin sister, Fabi, wanted to get their “pass” so we left Coatepeque at 1:30AM on the 16th and arrived at the border at 3AM. Unfortunately there is just as much corruption in this process as there is in the Guatemalan government. First of all there is zero organization (no “line,” no officials watching, nothing) so there are people that “work” at the border that stand in line with no intention to get their pass just to sell their “space” to someone that arrives later that wants to have a better spot in line, thus being more likely to be among one of the 150 granted a “pass,” and they always try to squeeze as many people as they can in their “space” to make more money. When the Mexican officials came to announce they would be opening their doors at 9AM they encountered a huge mess of disorganized Guatemalans fighting each other saying others had cut the line, arrived late, and weren’t part of the original “line.” Luckily the Mexican official had experience and, with the help of some Guatemalans who had been there early enough to see everything take place (like my friend), they were able to achieve some type of order. One of the most surprising things I saw was that a woman and her daughter tried to start their own line close to the front, then the official told them to go to the back of the line, but as soon as the line started moving they literally pushed people in order to cut back into the line they had just been kicked out of. Luckily someone saw it and reported it to an official, who told them to leave.

At the border (Do you see a single-file line? Yeah... me neither)

My best friend and I knew it would be a while before Vivi and Fabi completed the process so we went to get lunch then took a nap in the shade until the were finished. After everything was said and done they spent a total of 6 hours standing in line and 5 hours waiting to get their papers processed in order to get their “pass.” We all then went to Tapachula (a town close to the Mexican border), found our hotel, walked around a bit, then headed to a mall to do some shopping. The Mexican Peso is worth less than the Guatemalan Quetzal so many Guatemalans will go to Tapachula to stock up on groceries at a bargain price. After we did a bit of shopping we went to the movies to see “The Attic.” Being able to understand movies is like being able to understand books for me – the more complex/scientific the plot the more difficult it is more be to understand everything. Luckily the plot of the movie we saw wasn’t anything too complicated, so I was able to understand 100% of the movie.

The next day we got tacos for breakfast at a local market then did more shopping. One thing that really warmed my heart was when my friend and I were waiting on Vivi and Fabi to do shopping when I saw some kids drinking chocolate and eating bread that they had got from next door. I thought it was a little café, but I was mistaken. I quickly apologized to the woman in the house then walked away. Shortly afterwards the same lady came approached us with two cups of Mexican hot chocolate and bread that she had given to us for free. After our shopping was complete at the market we headed over to Sam’s Club for our last stop. I couldn’t believe how cheap everything was there – luckily I knew I would be leaving Guatemala soon so I wasn’t tempted to load up on groceries. Despite the fact that I didn’t buy much on the way back my friend’s 2-door Toyota Yaris was completely packed with groceries to the point that my leg fell asleep on the way home because of the weird position I had to sit in.

One of my favorite things about Coatepeque is the vibe – it’s a lot different than the vibe in Xela. The best way I can describe it is summers in Kansas where everyone hangs out on their porch in the evenings drinking, listening to the radio, and drinking while their children run around with other neighborhood kids. The people are definitely a lot livelier. One perfect example of this is when we went to the town’s Christmas parade the night of the 17th. The parade didn’t even start until around 9PM and ended around 11. I expected something like my town’s Christmas parade – Mr. and Mrs. Claus, small kid’s dance groups, and local businesses with Christmas floats, but it was nothing like that. Their were TONS of band groups, dance groups, and zumba groups doing dance routines that I found a bit provocative. After seeing that parade I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every sexy Christmas outfit possible. As far as companies with Christmas floats there were very few. I had a great time experiencing it, and I doubt I’ll ever see anything similar in my life.

On the 18th we got ceviche (seafood cocktail) for lunch and went to the Guatemalan version of Goodwill before heading back to Quetzaltenango. As soon as I arrived I got changed then met up with some friends at a local 1-day music festival they put on every year here called Chusmita. I hadn’t been before but really enjoyed it. Obviously I saw a bunch of people I knew there, which made it even better. There was just one stage, but a variety of artists played – rock, reggae, and soul music were the main events. My favorite part was that the lyrics weren’t what many pop songs talk about – the artists talked about being socially active, feminism, and about knowing what’s going on in your government.

Ceviche

At Chusmita

The next day I went to my old host family’s house to drop off the stuff I had bought for them while I was in Tapachula and to have lunch before heading back to Coatepeque with my friend JJ. I knew I wanted to spend at least one Christmas in Guatemala due to the differences in the culture and how they celebrate it here, so I decided to spend it on the coast with my best friend and his family. Luckily he had the month of December off for vacation so we were able to hang out quite a bit as well. During the week I was with my friend we did a variety of things: we went to the market, cleaned his house, met up with his daughter and one of my old roommates for tacos, got snow cones (there’s a place in Coatepeque where they make my all-time favorite snow cones), watched a few movies, and went to the gym.

On Wednesday the 21 my friend and I walked to some waterfalls called Chibuj nearby Coatepeque because he had told me he really enjoyed them when he went with his boyscout group nearly 15 years ago. We had to hike up a bit to get to the perfect spot between two waterfalls, which wasn’t super easy since there were no trails to guide you. It was crazy because the water was crystal clear, but because it was so deep it made it look like the water was black. I was a bit scared to jump in at first because you had no idea what was under the water, but it didn’t take long for me to work up the courage to do so. Before I knew it we were jumping off rocks and swimming around the place like fish. That night one of my friend’s cousins came over with her husband had we had a churrasco (Guatemalan BBQ) and all hung out and talked for quite a while. That Friday we met up with them again at a country club they’re a member of to have another churrasco along with their family and the family of some of their friends. It was crazy to me that it was December 23rd and I was swimming in a pool in 87 degree weather and barbequing. I had a great time with JJ’s family – we were at the pool for a good 8 hours and by the end of the night everyone was telling me I was now their “adopted cousin.”

At the Chibuj Waterfalls

At the pool

One of the traditional Guatemalan dishes served for Christmas is lomo relleno (stuffed pork tenderloin), which I helped my friend’s dad, Carlos, prepare on the 24th. We first marinated the meat then filled and rolled it up with a mixture of ham, turkey, cheeses, hard-boiled eggs, raisins, and bacon before baking it. My friend and rooomate in Xela, Luisa, who is also from Coatepeque came to pick me up at my friend’s house then we drove to her house out in the country, Before I came to Guatemala I imagined I would be staying in a place like her house – a smaller, simple house without running water in an area with tropical foliage where people cook using firewood instead of stoves. Her mom and I had never met beore (although Luisa had told her quite a bit about me), but she was so welcoming to me. As soon as I got there she offered me a tamale (another traditional Christmas dish) and rompope (Guatemala’s version of eggnog). I then helped her make a fruit punch often served at Christmas called caliente or ponche de frutas. We made a huge vat of it – the ingredients were papaya, two types of apples, pineapple, hibiscus flowers, a natural sugar called panela, and some other fruits and spices typical to Guatemala. Tamales here are very different from Mexican tamales – they are larger, made from a corn base, filled with a huge of pork (with the bone still in), and usually have an olive, plum, and a hot chile added to them. There is also a “sweet” version which is made from a base of plantain and ground natural chocolate. My favorite was the normal, “salty” version. Another difference I noticed at Luisa’s house (which is where more of a traditional Christmas is celebrated) was that they decorated the nativity scene with natural plants found in the area (not the fake stuff we buy at the grocery store). At Luisa’s house they decorated it with pine needles spread around the nativity scene that also covered the front porch, with a tinsel made of small apples strung together to enclose the scene. When it got dark Luisa’s family drove me back to JJ’s house.

The street infront of Luisa’s house

Making tamales

Ponche de frutas

Luisa and her mom

Luisa (one of my roommates), her daughter, and me

Here the “main event” happens at midnight on the 24th. At the moment the clock strikes 12 everyone in the entire town sets off fireworks, making it sound like a war zone. It was so loud I could barely hear what people were telling me. At the same time everyone gives each other a huge while saying Merry Christmas. After everything has died down everyone sits down together to eat tamales, lomo relleno, and a “Christmas salad.” The recipe of the salad varies greatly depending on what region you’re in, but the one we had consisted of chopped apples and celery with shredded carrots in a yogurt dressing. I didn’t think I would like it, but it was actually pretty tasty. The Christmas at my friend’s house was the most traditional because his mom was with family in the United States, but the rest of his close family came over to have dinner with us. After you get done eating it’s common to stay at your house and drink because other family members will come over to visit you after they’ve finished eating dinner. At 2AM my friend, his brother, and I headed to the disco to find that was already completely packed. Luckily as soon as we walked in I saw one of my friends with her cousins and she invited us to stay at their table. That night we danced to reggaeton music from 2AM until the sun came up at 6:30AM, and the place was full the whole time. I had a blast.

Christmas dinner

Christmas 2017 in Coatepeque, Guatemala

My friend, Andrea, and I at the disco

The crew... that forgot to move the bucket of trash before taking a picture

The 25th for most people here is more or less a normal day. My friend, his brother, their dad, and I went over to JJ’s cousin’s house to eat more tamales and lomo relleno with them. After we got done eating we watched the Mexican soccer league final together then headed back to JJ’s house.

That Monday I got a ride with Luisa’s brother, Angel, who just moved into the same house where I’m living in Xela. The next day I met up with my old host family to have a little Christmas celebration with them .

Christmas with my Guatemalan family

On the 28th I took the bus to Guatemala City because I knew it would probably be the last opportunity I would have to see my friends from there before I left Guatemala. Among some of the friends I met up with were Majo and her brother, Juan Diego, who is now living in Mexico City and came back to visit for Christmas. We went to their aunt’s house who put on a little going-away dinner for him then we all went out together. I also saw my car-wash buddies, who were having their own company convivio and invited me to hang out with them. They had grilled a lamb alongside some other meats and a bunch of beer. I had already eaten, but I tried the lamb and liked it a lot. Afterwards we went to a cevichería, which is a ceviche restaurant that normally turns into a bar at night.

On the 31st I met up with my friend Alvaro, who had spent Christmas with his family in Colombia, at his house. I dropped off my stuff there then went got on the bus to to Lake Atitlán. For New Year’s Eve here many people head to the lake, the coast, or to Antigua. We found a pretty neat music festival taking place at Lake Atitlán and a great deal with a house on AirBnB. Between the concert tickets and the house rental we only paid $16 each. The music festival we went to lasted three days, but the venue was pretty small and right on the edge of the lake with bonfires scattered throughout. I had a great time – we met up with one of Alvaro’s friends who is also from Colombia and some of her friends which happened to be friends of mine as well. The headliner DJ was from Colombia, which made it even better. At midnight hugs were exchanged between all those present amidst fireworks with their reflections in one of the prettiest lakes in the world. I knew 2017 would be a year full of many changes and experiences, and being at that lake was definitely one of the best ways to ring it all in.

My friend Alvaro and I at the music festival at Lake Atitlán

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