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#and I didn't like getting touched by my mom :
bingbongsupremacy · 2 days
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Newborn
Pairing: Joel Miller x reader
Summary: Joel's nervous about holding your new baby.
Warnings: Reader is able to give birth, swearing.
I tried my best not to mention anything very descriptive in this. Pls leg me know of I missed anything. Also I'm taking requests!
♤♤♤♤♤♤
" Fuck! " I gasp, clutching onto Joel's hand. I squeeze him hard. " I don't know if I can fucking do this, Joel. "
This pain is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Red hot flashes course through my body as a new contraction starts up. They're getting closer together.
" I'm so tired. " I groan. Sticky sweat coats my forehead. They say birth is supposed to be beautiful. It doesn't feel beautiful.
" Just a little more, baby. You're almost there. " Joel mumbles. He leans down from his spot next to me and plants a kiss on my sticky forehead.
" You're almost there, Y/N. Just a few more pushes. " Maria encourages. Her hands are cool against my warm legs. " Take some deep breaths. You can do this. "
I don't want to do this anymore. It's been fucking hours.
The sharp pain returns once again, this time stronger than before. I let out a painkiller shout, digging my nails into Joel's hand.
The world blurs with instructions from Maria and gentle words from Joel blending together with my screams.
" The baby's here! " Maria's voice sounds distant as blood rushes through my head. A sharp cry echoes through the room.
My baby. Our baby.
The pain begins to slowly calm down and I'm finally able to catch my breath.
" Good job, baby. Good job. " Joel presses another kiss to my face, his words mumbling against my skin.
" It's a girl. " Maria announces. She carefully walks towards us before gently placing the newborn on my chest.
I stare down at the small wiggly baby on my chest. She's perfect.
Her body is warm and slipper. I gently put a hand on her back, worried she could somehow slip off of me and get hurt.
" She's beautiful. " I whisper.
Her fingers are so small. She's so tiny. I'm scared of breaking her.
I can't believe something so innocent and beautiful can exist in a world like this. A world so dark and hurtful.
" Hi baby. " I gently run one of my fingers along the side of her face. " I'm your mom. "
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" She looks just like you. " Joel mumbles quietly, his gaze fixated on the baby sleeping in my arms.
Soft grunts escape her little lips every few minutes, a beautiful reminder that she's finally here.
" She's got your eyes. " I reply.
Joel's been fairly quiet the past few hours. He's spent most of his time observing the baby.
" You haven't held her yet. Do you want to? " I ask, looking over at him.
He tenses slightly, a conflicted look flashing over his face. " I don't know. "
" You don't know if you want to hold your baby? "
He's been acting strange today. I'd offered to let him hold her earlier when Ellie came by, but he said he wasn't ready yet.
" I'm scared of hurting her. What if...what if she gets turned? What if I can't protect her? " Fear is evident in his eyes. " I'm old, Y/N. What if I let her down like I let down Sarah? "
I reach out to touch his arm. " Joel, you didn't let down Sarah. You did what you could. You can't blame yourself for something you had no control over. And you won't let down this baby. You haven't let down Ellie. You've fought tooth and nail for that little girl, and I know you'll do the same for our baby. " I gently stroke my thumb over his calloused hand. " You are the strongest man I know. And you're not old, Joel. You're seasoned. "
Joel lets out a laugh. " Seasoned. What the fuck. "
I laugh quietly, trying not to wake up the sleeping baby in my arms. " Besides, I like seasoned men. "
Joel rolls his eyes. " I can't believe you're calling me seasoned. " He mumbles.
" It's better than old. " I point out. " I know you're scared, Joel. I'm scared too. I'm terrified to raise a baby in a world where tomorrow isn't promised. But I have confidence that we can do this. We have each other. We have Ellie. We've survived this long and we can survive longer. " I gently tug his hand towards me. " Now, I have a little someone who really wants to meet her daddy. "
Joel hesitates for a second before finally giving in. He takes a seat on the bed next to me.
I carefully set the baby in his arms. Immediately a smile breaks onto his face.
" Hi, baby. " He mutters while bringing her closer to his face. He gently presses a kiss onto her forehead. " I'm your dad. "
This world is scary.
But I know we can make it together.
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jayflrt · 9 hours
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𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 37. go piss girl
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YOUR HEART WAS POUNDING WHEN YOU HEARD THE LIGHT KNOCK ON YOUR CABIN DOOR.
It wasn't that you were nervous—okay, maybe you were a little nervous—but it felt as if butterflies had swarmed your stomach with their fluttering wings. Now, the space really did feel small. You weren't sure how Jay was going to fit in the same seat as yours, but the idea was strangely exciting.
"Hey," you whispered when you pulled open the door for him. You scooted to the wall so that you could make some more space for him. "I just pulled up the movie."
"Oh, we're actually watching Shrek," Jay deadpanned. When he took his seat and closed the door again, you both became hyper-aware of the proximity once your arms were pressed against each other. "Kinda cramped in here."
"It should be fine," you said quickly, trying to mask how flustered you were by gesturing toward the screen. "Look, they have all three movies!"
"I'm sorry, but I'm not staying around for three whole movies."
You shot him a dark look, feigning great offense as you folded your arms across your chest. Jay seemed to not realize the weight of his words until after seeing your reaction, and he immediately flooded with panic.
"Wait, I meant, like—not that, just—"
"Relax, I'm just messing with you." You giggled, diverting your attention away to start the movie. "Have you ever watched Shrek before? I used to watch it every single day when I was a kid, apparently."
"Really?"
"Yeah, my mom was mortified when I wanted to"—you turned back to look at him and your breath caught in your throat for a moment; Jay was looking down at you with those sincere eyes that were far too easy to get lost in—"dress up as Shrek for Halloween."
"Shrek, huh? Did you ever get to dress up as him?"
"No, I ended up being Fiona. All of my friends back then were dressing up like princesses, and my mom wanted to dress me up."
"Ouch. Well, you can be Shrek this year."
"You'd have to be my Princess Fiona then."
"Whatever you want."
His eyes went a touch unfocused, and you started to get the feeling that he didn't exactly care about Shrek costumes anymore. You weren't even completely sure he was talking about them.
You only started realizing it recently, but why did he always look at you like that?
Like he wanted to kiss you.
You couldn't pinpoint it before because you weren't really looking. It was hard to catch most of the time because he was so well-guarded, but in fractions of seconds, you could catch him looking into your eyes as if they held the world, as if he would fall apart if he tore his gaze away.
So, hypothetically, if you made a move on him, it wouldn't be a completely miscalculated step, right? It was obvious something was going on between you two, and there were clear signs, right? You weren't clinically insane?
Your mind was swimming with questions when you realized that almost half of the movie had gone by, and you were zoning out for its entirety. Reality only sharpened when you realized Jay had leaned back to put his arm around your shoulders. Unfortunately, now you couldn't care less about Shrek and Donkey; you could only think about how warm Jay's body was and how hot your chest felt.
Your chest must have been rising and falling too fast because Jay asked, "Are you good? Am I taking up too much room?"
"No! You're good, it's just a little tight in here—yeah, that's all," you replied absentmindedly.
"Oh, well..." He looked around helplessly. (There wasn't much to look at, anyway.) "Wanna sit on my lap?"
Your heart jumped, leaped, imploded—whatever. So much adrenaline was pumping through your blood that you hardly even processed whether you replied to him or not. All you knew was that you were climbing onto Jay's lap before he could even get adjusted.
"Whoa," he murmured, holding onto your hips to keep you steady (but all he managed to do was ignite a fire inside you). "I thought you said no."
"Did I? Sorry, I mix up yes and no sometimes." What the hell? No, you don't, your brain reminded immediately after.
He grinned. "Oh, yeah, common mistake."
You were too busy staring straight ahead and trying to ignore how badly you wanted to crumble into his arms that you nearly jumped when you heard Jay's soft chuckle against your back.
His hands slid up to your waist, and he murmured into your ear, "I'm gonna move you to sit between my legs—hold on."
(Normally, this would make you horny, but Lord Farquaad and Gingy were getting into their exchange of The Muffin Man nursery rhyme that never failed to make you laugh.)
"This good?" Jay asked once you two were settled. You were leaning back against his chest as you laid between his legs. Jay had his hands on his thighs, but you swore they were inching closer to you.
"Really good."
"Yeah?"
His pointer finger grazed your skin ever-so-slightly, and you fought the urge to press your thighs together. After all, you didn't want him to think his hands weren't welcome. As you two fell into complete silence, watching the movie but not really watching it, you found that Jay's hand was getting closer and closer until four of his fingers were on your thigh.
He used this time to ask (in a much lower voice now), "How about this?"
"Yeah," you breathed out, your voice hitching in an almost humiliating way, and you could feel Jay's chest swell as his hand moved fully onto your thigh. "I like that."
The movie was nearing its end by now, and you were both still silently watching, Jay's hand hardly moving from your thigh. There were a few times where he moved it down, only to bring it back up again, but you were careful not to react in a way that would make things awkward.
But when you realized that he was probably going to leave, you figured this was your chance to make him stay, to see if things could progress. Wasn't this the perfect time, anyway? With everyone asleep and a cabin to yourself, this was probably the most privacy you would get for the weekend.
You turned your head just enough to look up at him, and those butterflies swarmed around in a torrent when his gaze dropped to your lips for a brief second. You straightened up a little to place your hand on his shoulder, angling your body a little to face him.
"Um," you started in a small voice, "do you wanna stay a little longer?"
Jay's hand moved up to grip your inner thigh with just enough pressure to keep you at a comfortable angle, and, again, you fought down the gasp. "With you?"
You smiled. "Yeah."
The space between you two was getting smaller and smaller. It was as if some magnetic pull was drawing your bodies closer and closer... and your lips were inches apart... and then Jay jerked away, as if he had snapped out of some trance.
"I can't, sorry," he said quickly, removing his hand from your thigh to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "It—it's getting late, and I should really get some sleep before we land."
Disappointed, you started moving so that he could have an easier time getting out of your cabin. You were half-expecting things to end up like this; moving fast with him wasn't going to work, but at least you knew now that he definitely felt some way about you.
"Goodnight," you told him, managing a smile. "Thanks for keeping me company."
"Yeah, it was fun."
He gave you that look again before closing your cabin door. You felt yourself deflate a little. It was an odd feeling, but you felt lonely when he was gone. You never really felt this way about Sunghoon since you got used to the loneliness, but Jay, who made an effort even as your friend, made you feel different.
Suddenly, your cabin door flew open again, and Jay was standing with regret painted all over his face.
"Look, I didn't mean to do all that and just back off," he said in a rush, sitting at the edge of your seat so that he could mutter everything to you in a low voice. "I just... it's hard right now, like, right now, as in—"
"Stop," you said, smiling ear-to-ear as your chest flooded with relief. Yeah, maybe you just needed to move a little slower. "I get it, don't worry."
"It's not that I don't..." he trailed off, gazing at you with deep longing etched in his eyes before he sighed. "Just... doing this right now is—"
"Jay, please," you tried again, reaching out to grab his hand. You tilted your head. "You can just make it up to me later. We can grab dinner in Monte Carlo?"
He seemed to be much less distressed now, merely sighing with contentment and nodding over and over again. "Yeah, let's do that."
"Goodnight, Jay," you sang with a teasing lilt to your voice.
"Goodnight, Y/N."
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SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.
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mrsparrasblog · 1 hour
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You're Losing Me Pt.3 POLY 141 x Reader
TW: angst, mentioned rape, mentioned drug abuse, violence, alcoholism, crying, manipulation
prev part first part
Wrapped around with a blanket, you lay on the couch singing all the breakup songs you know, pathetically. You didn't talk to your friends, called in sick at work, and haven't left the apartment since it happened. The only thing you had was Winston, the Taylor Swift vinyl on repeat that Johnny gifted you, and a cheap red wine that tasted like ass. You ordered some pizza so that something else keeps you company. When the bell rang, you didn't bother to put on a nice outfit. You went out with your tangled hair, your puffy swollen eyes, and Simon's ratty t-shirt that you couldn’t bother to throw away; it just smelled like comfort to you.
You were surprised when you saw, instead of the delivery guy, Kyle in front of your house. He looked so unlike Kyle. He didn't have that cheeky smile you loved, and his clean pretty boy aesthetic was gone. His white shirt was full of blood, his jaw bruised, and your heart broke. That was your man - was.
"Do you want to collect your stuff?" You asked, it hurt you so bad to ask, but you needed to be strong. You didn't want to be like your mom who stayed with your Dad despite how often he cheated on her. You were strong and independent before you met them, you can reach this again.
"Babe, please."
"Don't do this to me, Kyle," don't make me love you, don’t make me forgive you.
"Can I see at least Winston?" He asked, and that was a thing you couldn't deny. It was his dog too after all. You remembered how you rescued him together from a dog shelter. Everyone else would have said no, but Kyle loved animals just as much as you do. So you adopted that corgi, and you can regret many things but not your loyal dog.
"Come in," you said, not bothering to apologize for the mess.
When Winston saw him, he jumped immediately on Kyle, and this made you smile for the first time in days. "What happened to your face?"
"Got in some fights around the base."
"Kyle, you never get into fights with coworkers. Look, just because we're not a thing anymore doesn’t mean you need to sabotage your own life. Things like breakups happen, and I'm sure you will find a lovely girl." Your heart ached just thinking about them with another girl, all sharing and loving how they loved you.
"Don't want anyone else."
"Kyle."
"I mean it, I love you, and not just a bit. I know you're the right one. Tell me what you want, and I'll do it. Want me to quit the military? Easy. Want to punish me? Hurt me? I don’t care. Want to never touch me again? Fine, I'll live my life without sex just to have you. Want me to marry you? Done. Why wait? Do you want me to kill that slag? I'll do it. You don’t understand it; there is no such thing as too much for you. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you."
You were too stunned to speak, but by the look in his eyes, you knew he meant every word of it. He really loved you. But how could you trust him again? And John, you knew Kyle loved John, maybe not as much as you, but you were no one to separate them. That wasn’t fair.
"Let me clean the blood from your nose, Kyle." You stood up, ignoring the things he said, and went to the bathroom, grabbing alcohol and one of Kyle's spare t-shirts, inhaling the scent as you sobbed into it.
"Love—"
"Let me clean you."
He picked you up, sitting you down at the sink, where you slowly cleaned his wounds. Your breath felt heavy every second you got near his lips.
"Tell me you don't love me, and I'll never bother you again."
"Kyle, I can't lie to you."
You cleaned him and gave him his new shirt, but you couldn’t let him leave.
"Kyle, I love you, but I love all of you so much that I can't let you choose between me and John. You love him, I know that, and it's okay. I understand."
"John didn’t cheat on you; it was Johnny."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'd never lie to you. He just knew we couldn’t live without you, and you know how selfless he is."
"I thought he cheated." You started to sob again. "I screamed at him, told him how much I hate him, and he wasn’t at fault." You felt like a monster for your feelings.
"He understands."
"How does he hold up?" You knew John was never someone who shared your feelings.
"Locked himself in the office, drinking for days, doesn’t even speak with me."
"Let me fix this."
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John thought he was hallucinating when you went into his office with the spare key you had. It was too good to be true to see his angel again, but you weren’t real. He needed to stop drinking.
"I'm so sorry, John," you said over and over again, walking towards him, where you sat in your reserved place, on his lap, and slowly removing the glass out of his help. "I'm sorry, John. I don’t hate you, I’d never hate you."
"Cheated on you, deserve it."
"I know it was Johnny."
"Lie."
"Kyle told me."
"Oh."
"Can you forgive me, John?"
"Of course, lovely," he laled and smiled.
"Let me get you in your room, okay, and sober you up." He nodded, and you brought him to his room. You still weren’t sure what to do. Will you forgive them? Will you forgive Johnny?
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"Lea mah room, slag," Johnny screamed at the medic. He had enough of her and her manipulative acts, how she went into his room and touched him in training. It was enough.
"Don't be so harsh; I'm your girlfriend, after all," she smiled. She was sick fucking delusional.
"Youre nae mah burd ah tellt ye this often enough," he pressed his hands together, his knuckles white from rage. If he was a worse man, he’d kill her on the spot. But he needed her to make a mistake, so there would be proof of her lying.
"Not so aggressive, Johnny, this isn’t good for our baby."
"Are you mental? There is no fucking baby. You raped me three days ago. Aren’t you supposed to be a medic and know how this shit works?"
"There will be, and then we'll be happy."
"You're sick. This will never happen."
"Oh, there will, or you know I could tell anyone how you raped me and dared to kill me after your girlfriend found out."
"No one will believe you."
"They will."
And there was a knock on the door. He left her in the room, telling her it was probably only a rookie. He was surprised when he saw you. Even though you looked broken, you were still the most precious thing in his life. He wanted to hug you, tell you the truth.
"I know it was you, Johnny," you started to cry you never thought Johnny would do such a thing to you."
"Hen, please."
You hugged him tight, which caught him by surprise, but he held you through it. "Tell me why, Johnny. Please, let me know what I did to deserve this." His heart broke with every word you said. He desperately wanted to explain to you that you could never do anything wrong in his life, but the shame ate him up. Would you understand? Would you believe him?
"Tell me you won't do it again, Johnny. Tell me you regret it, that it didn't mean a thing. I'll forgive you, please, Johnny."
"Look, hen—" But before he could finish his sentence, the medic left the room wearing only one of his shirts.
"What are you doing here? I thought you’d broken up with that bore."
You noticed the shirt, the ruffled hair, and the bracelet you gifted Johnny that she wore. "Johnny, why is she wearing your shirt? Why does she have my bracelet?"
"Love, don't believe—"
"Oh, you're not only a bore, you're also dense, aren't you?"
That was enough to finally break you. You walked away, screaming at Johnny that he should leave you alone, running into Simon on your way out.
"Luv?"
"Stay away from me, Si," and he respected your wish, giving you the time to heal you need. He finally found Johnny in a screaming match with the medic. When she saw him, she gave Johnny a peck on his cheek and left with a sly smile.
Johnny was never a man to cry until that day. He didn't know how his life went so downhill in a few days.
"Johnny?"
"Go away, Lt."
"Johnny, tell me what's wrong."
"You wouldn't believe me. No one would."
"Let me decide that. Let's get you in your room and talk." His heart broke seeing Johnny like that, and he knew whatever it was, he would fix it for him.
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slasherx · 2 days
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I'm doing fine thank you for asking, 😌
Also thank you for doing the request of Thomas Hewitt
I also had another idea you can do if you want!
Can you do a Thomas hewitt with a female s/o who can sing like really well (like lana del Rey) and he meets her at like idk when the town wasn't abandoned they used to have like little evens and the s/o sang up and like thats when thomas fell in love
I know cheesy but like aren't we all
Thats good! And yeah, no problem. Tommy's my favorite so it's always a pleasure doing requests for him :3
Content: Thomas Hewitt x fem!Reader
Warnings: None
Notes: The gif below is one of my favorite gifs of him hehe. I also love Lana Del Rey so I'm basing this off the song "Summertime Sadness" by her. Also I do headcanon Charlie/Hoyt and Tommy to be brothers, with Luda Mae as their mom, and Monty as the only uncle and brother to Luda. I know some people have them as uncle and nephew, but I don't think thats the case. Tommy and Reader are both about 18 in this.
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Tommy both loved and hated the county fair.
He hated it because people would tell him he should be with the pigs, or with the cows, displayed for people to judge. He hated the heat that accumulated with everyone smushed together in a crowd. He hated that he had no friends to run off with and have fun with, only Charlie could do that with him, but his older brother was worried about girls. He hated that he had to stay by his mama helping sell jelly and the like, he desperately wanted to go on the rides and see the attractions.
But he also loved it because of said rides and attractions. There was a new one this year, where music was being played. He could hear it from his mama's stand. He kept looking in the direction of it, and Luda Mae could practically feel his wanting.
"Tommy, what'cha keep lookin' over there for?" Luda Mae asked.
Tommy touched his ears and pointed in the direction of the music. Luda Mae understood - he wanted to go see the music. "Well, alright. Maybe it'll lighten up your mood some."
Tommy perked up at that. He hugged her and turned to move towards the music. Luda Mae then piped up again. "But you better tell Charlie to come back if you see 'im!"
Tommy nodded before going towards the music. There was a huge crowd both sitting and standing, consisting of old and young people. The stage was made of some dark wood, with red curtains pulled back to show off the full thing. And there you stood, singing your little heart out.
Tommy could feel his knees wobble. You were singing some soft melody, and your bandmates were scattered around you. But he was attracted to you. Your voice sounded like it was touched by God himself. It was beautiful. You were beautiful.
You wore a pastel blue and white dress that cascaded down to your knees, your (color) hair cascading down (to your shoulders/past your shoulders). Tommy was enamoured. You dressed just as you sang.
As you sang, you noticed this hulking man in the back and tried to subtly get a better look. This man had broad shoulders, wavy brown hair that fell past those broad shoulders, and what seemed to be a mask covering his face. He wore a nice green dress shirt with khaki pants. You smiled, he was cute.
Tommy could've sworn he almost fainted. He turned around to see if you had smiled at someone else maybe, but he was the only one in this general direction. He kept some distance from the back of the crowd so he didn't have to hear any insults.
As you finished your song and began preparing to move to the next one, you locked eyes with him once more, singing loud and proud. Your bandmates played your instrumental, smiling to themselves as they just enjoyed playing their repsective instruments.
Tommy stayed for your whole performance, completely in a trance. He hadn't noticed the sun going down and the heat lessenig. He hadn't notice people and families shove past him to leave. All his focus was on, was you. He felt his heart pound at every syllable you sung, every note you hit.
It was poetic, he thinks. But that was soon interrupted by someone grabbing his shoulder. He whipped around angrily, only to be met with his older brother, Charlie.
"C'mon, Tommy! Been lookin' everywhere for ya! We need to go, mama's tired and sold all o' her jelly 'n shit." Charlie spoke loudly over your voice.
He didn't want to leave you. Even though you weren't singing exclusively for him, and had barely knew him much less even met him, he didn't want to leave. You showed him kidness by smiling at him. That is something he'll never forget. He just nodded to Charlie.
Charlie, figuring that was enough, turned and began heading back to Luda Mae's stand. Tommy watched him go, before turning back to you singing on stage. He raised his hand high and waved, before leaving the crowd.
You were on stage and mid-song, so you couldn't wave back. But oh how you wanted to.
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Here's my masterlist, in case you like what you see and want to request more!
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resi4skz · 3 days
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Title: The Ocean's Whisper
Pairing: Merman Chris x Human OC (Violet Carter)
Synopsis: Violet wants to end it all but the last minute is saved by the mysterious man who she hasn't seen in her town till that night.
Warnings: fluff, eventual smut, angst, sea monsters, and much more
THIS IS NOT COMPLETE
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I have had enough of people. Their comments. Their stares. Their whispers loud enough for me to hear. They want me to suffer? Fine. I'll suffer. Wiping away the tears from my cheek, I look into the darkness of the ocean below me. A soft breeze runs through me as I try to come up with a solution. The waves, the ripples in the water, would it take me away with it if I was in it?
Letting out a deep breath, close my eyes and let myself submerge in the freezing water but somehow, it's a relief. I feel lighter. Stress free. Maybe now my mom won't have a daughter to compare others to. Maybe this is best. For me. For others.
I want others to forget me.
I want to forget.
Black.
Fins. Tail.
What? Why do I feel someone pulling me back?
"Come on," the voice says as the sudden constant pressure on my chest forces me to take a deep breath, coughing out water.
Taking a few breaths, I finally look up to the person who 'saved' me. "What...."
It's a man. Black hair, brown eyes, water dripping from his hair and face, such luscious lips. Shirtless? "Why did you do that?!"
"I saved you! You were drowning!" The accent coming from this guy had my lady bits screaming. Now is not the time, Violet. "If I hadn't gone in time-"
"I didn't ask you to save me!" I spat out.
He blinks at me, perplexed. "Wait, you wanted to die?"
I hold my head in my hands. It was going so perfect.
"But why?"
I look up. Where had he come from? I haven't seen him in my town before. Was he new? "None of your business like you," I air quote the next word," 'saving' me was none of your business."
"But those things would've eaten you alive."
"Come again?" What is he on about?
"You didn't see them because you're not..." He suddenly stands up and looks towards the ocean. "It's here."
"What's here?" I asked.
"Tristan."
"Who the hell is Tristan?"
My question was answered as a low, deep rumble cry vibrated through the air. It was almost like it was announcing it's presence. Then I saw it. A tentacle. A very long on. Then another. And another. "What the fuck is that?"
He swivels towards me. "You can see it?"
"Uh, yeah? It's almost like a gigantic squid!"
Then he smiles. His pearly whites on display. And the dimples? I almost tripped....on air. "You're the one everyone has been talking about!"
"Uhh....come again?"
He grabs my arms, I'm suddenly feeling warmth from his smooth hands. "And I saved you! Okay, I need to head back to report and tell them I found you. Oh man, they're going to be thrilled-"
The tentacles of this Tristan seemed to be getting closer. "I'm sorry, but who are you? What is," I point towards the sea," that? Am I dreaming?"
"That is a Kraken. My name is Chris."
"A Kraken."
"Yup yup," he nods.
"I'm dreaming. Or dead." I pinch my arm, hard. I flinch in pain. "What the fuck?"
Chris suddenly grabs me by the shoulders making me face him. "Do you trust me?"
"What?"
"I need to take you to the council. But in order to do that, I need you trust me."
I raise my eyebrow. "What does that have to do with me trus-mmpfh" I blink as I'm cut off by a pair of lips on mine. I punch at his chest but holy, why is he so strong? And his lips.....I find myself melting into the kiss, tilting my head for better access.
Reality comes crashing through me and I push him back with all my might. "What are you doing?!"
Then I feel it. The waves of the ocean.
Then I hear it. The murmurs of people from the market behind us.
I touch my neck. "What did you do?" I feel it again, the 3 slits on each side. Almost like fins.
"They're temporary. But necessary. You need to come with me."
To be continued....
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A/N: soooooo what do you think?
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HM How do i put this.So people often think 'punk' and 'asshole' are synomyous and this causes problems when it comes to character interpretations(and irl too ofc but that's for a future post).Now i'm not saying you can't be punk and an asshole because that would be absolutely stupid and just incorrect but the latter does not make the former and you shouldn't force anyone to when they're not even if they're fictional since how you treat characters who're part of a group reflects how you think of the irl one
I'm gonna use the example that prompted this post:Spiderpunk aka Hobie Brown.Hobie is often characterized as mean-spirited and perverted because he's explicitly meant as the embodiment of black punks but the thing is,in the actual movie and og comics,Hobs is an incredibly sweet and gentle person and if you think i'm being ridicilous for saying that about the dude who kills fascists and runs his mouth all the time,consider that direct action is not an act of cruelty but kindness towards oppressed people by helping them have a safer world and that Hobie's only actually rude to authority figures and with everyone else he's just goofy.He's also pretty open with how much he loves his friends and always has their backs and i find it very odd how often he gets assumed to be an extremely sexual person when there were never even any under the radar adult jokes about or by him and the smoker headcanon for him is baseless too and pretty obviously only happens for sex appeal
And that's a general problem with both canonical and popularly headcanon punk characters-Most fandom members think punk is 1.Exclusively male and 2.Inherently made to make yourself attractive.There's nothing wrong with finding punk men super hot but there IS a lot wrong is assigning punkhood to them with that intention alone,especially often the characters are not only just EdgyTM but also straight up fascists(Hp and Marauders Flop Era 'kinnies',please touch grass)
This leads to defanging of punk female characters.Katara is a classic example and Zuko is a rich boy with weird biases he's very open about that didn't fade until adulthood while Katara is an eco-terrorist who reclaims girlhood for herself by being anti-traditionalist and feminine in her own way yet Zuko is always the punk of the Gaang in aus.Stephanie Brown and not a girl but Duke Thomas are a poor woman who grew up friendless and abused by her dad and had a drug addict mom so she became a vigilante at 14 to help people like her and is implied to be a metalhead and a black boy who grew up getting kicked out schools and in and out of foster homes and joined a gang of crime fighters respectively but Stephanie is called scene instead(cause pastel punks don't exist right /s)and Duke is turned a meek black boyloser stereotype so that Jason Todd can be the punk Batkid instead,which is certainly......a choice seeing as Under The Red Hood is basically about him doing freestyle death penalty and is not actively an activist even if he does enjoy helping people and does whenever he has the opportunity to by narrative.Very important sidenote is that Stephanie and Duke are often entierly erased from Batman fan content despite being Jason's Batgirl and Robin and i think you can guess why(that obviously the coolest Batkid has to be the fan favorite white boy /s x2)
And i feel the need to include this one due to my url and that is Percy Jackson.Percy is representation for audhd and dyslexic people who can never mask and got bullied and abused for it but remained kind against all world's cruelty and choose to help others since they wanted the world to be like that to them as a kid instead but they ALSO aren't a pussy about it so they openly stand up to corrupted people and refuse to be like them no matter how hard they try to get them to and they openly hate them for what they're like and they act like a parental figure to younger minorities.Their creator stated he never inteded Percy as being bisexual and has no interest in it but he also said he'd be happy and supportive of Percy being played by a poc one day and within the books Percy is extremely transfem-coded so obviously the fandom pops several blood vessels when literally any of this is aknowledged because they read the wrong books and wanted a white male power fantasy in ancient greek gays flavor
You can be super nice and punk because punk is a subculture,not an entire personality type.And i hate to break it to edgecases on here but being super mean to people without a justified reason because you think it's cool or finding irresistibly hot on others is one of the most normal things you can do
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mustainegf · 5 hours
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Can you do a step dad/current! James Hetfield smut??its fine if you can't I completely understand!!(srry if its so short I was in a rush!!)
this is actually so good and I had so much fun writing!!
❕ FEMALE CHARACTER IS 18+ ❕
WARNINGS: use of “daddy”, use of “princess”, stepdad x daughter, Reader is 18+, oral m & f receiving, unprotected sex, creampie
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My breaths came out quick and hoarse, my fingers disappearing inside of me over and over.
I was so turned on by my new stepdad, but I couldn't do anything about it since he had just moved in a few months ago.
He was in his fifties or sixties and looked hot as hell with his broad shoulders and muscles. He had this sexy silver-grey hair that made him look more attractive than ever.
He was also very tall, almost towering over me. I kinda avoided him so he wouldn't sense how horny I'd get in his presence.
I continued to work at myself, imagining his cock inside me instead. I whimpered out. "J-James!"
I was home alone so It didn't matter.
I wanted to feel him inside me so bad. I didn't care if he was with mom, I wanted him to hold me down and fuck me as hard as he could.
Being alone, I didn't try to filter my vulgar noises; letting them spill out into the quiet room. "Daddy! Daddy, just like that!" I whined.
I rubbed my clit fiercely, just picturing his face.
"Daddy, I'm gonna cum!" I shook.
But before I could feel that sweet release, the sound of someone clearing their throat echoed from my doorway.
I gasped, and tugged my blanket up to cover me, my eyes darting to the doorway where the tall man stood.
Leaning agaisnt my door frame, a grin plastered over his face, was James, my fucking stepdad.
"Oh my god," I stuttered, my cheeks heating. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in." I tried to act cool even though I knew I wasn't.
He took a step forward. "You were really enjoying yourself there." My blush deepened as I stared at the ground.
I didn't respond I was far too mortified. James sat up and stepped into the room.
"Look at me," he said softly. I met his gaze. His eyes glittered with mischief and desire.
"I'm not going to judge you, sweetheart. I see it all the time when I look at you. You are always so hot and bothered around me."
Hidden by the blanket, I couldn't help but apply a small bit of pressure to my clit. "I could hear you saying my name.." James whispered.
"How often to you masturbate to me, honey?" He continued, ghosting his fingers under my chin.
"E-Every single night," I admitted.
“That makes me so happy, sweetheart. Are you gonna quit playing games with me? Tell me what you want." He stated calmly, lifting the corner of the blanket to uncover my wet panties that cling to my body.
"Y-you.. James." I whined as his fingers brushed last the damp fabric.
"Don't call me that honey," he said under his breath, staring me down as his fingers toyed with me.
He shoved the blanket aside, kneeling in bed ahead of me, looking down at me. "Speak up, baby."
"If you don't say what I know you want to, then maybe I should just leave.." he taunted, setting his hands on my knees.
"Daddy, please!" I whined.
He grinned as I gave him what he wanted, his hands spreading my legs apart. I was terrified to do something like this with my stepdad, but It was all I wanted
I needed it. And I trusted him enough to let him have his way with me. A strong hand gripped me by the thigh, bringing me closer to the edge.
"I think about touching this pretty pussy all the time, Princess." He hummed.
The air grew thick between us as he leaned in closer. My chest heaving with rapid breaths, I nodded. "Yes, Daddy. Please!" I moaned. My eyes widened in surprise when he grabbed my ankle and dragged me toward him.
He grabbed my panties tugging them down my legs and illiciting a breathy gasp from me.
"You are so beautiful," he praised. "Thank you, Daddy," I whispered. "I have never seen anyone look as sexy as you do right now."
He said, his voice husky. "Your pussy is glistening. So perfect, just like I thought." He rubbed his thumb against my clit, making me cry out.
"Hmm. Maybe I should start here," he murmured, kissing my inner thigh.
"Is that okay?" He asked. I bit my lip, nodding.
"Whatever you want, Daddy." I breathed. His fingers skimmed over my legs, dipping into the valley of my hips. "Such a good girl for your daddy."
He cooed, kissing my lower stomach before licking his way down until his tongue was lapping up every drop of my juices. "Mmm..." He groaned.
"You taste delicious, little princess. "
He paused. Lifting his head, his Light blue eyes fixed on mine. The look on his face told me he meant every word.
This was one of the hottest things I'd ever witnessed. I loved it.
“Keep going, Angel. Your daddy wants you to cum so hard you can't walk tomorrow." My eyes rolled back as I came undone.
His tongue was ruthless. I felt him swallow every ounce of my orgasm down. I cried out as my body tightened, he licked me clean. I lay there, spent, my heart thumping wildly against my chest.
"Now it's your turn missy.." he leaned upright and towards me. "I want you to suck me off," he growled in my ear.
I could hardly wrap my head around the fact that my stepdad wanted me to suck his dick. I loved it.
James switched places with me, tugging off his shirt.
I admired his stalkish build, and the slightly faded tattoos that lay beneath the thin layer of silver hairs on his chest.
"Don't be shy, honey," he cooed, helping me undo his jeans and tug them down.
He kicked off his jeans, leaving him only in his boxer briefs. I could easily see the huge bulge that strained beneath the fabric. Fuck.
"Take 'em off baby, you're a big girl," he taunted, nudging his hips just slightly.
With a gulp, I reached for the waistband of his underwear, slowly tugging them down.
The moment they passed his ankles, I gasped. God, he was massive. He watched me, chuckling under his breath.
"What did I tell you, baby?" he asked with a smirk. I stared at his cock, licking my lips. I had never seen anything quite like it. My stepdad was seriously well endowed.
It looked so smooth and soft, the head swollen.
James eyed me as he gripped the base, waiting for me to put my mouth to use.
"Suck it, babe. Show me you mean it." I moved to straddle him, taking his cock into my hand. It was a bit thicker than I thought it would be, and it was longer too.
I had known he was hung, but seeing it first hand was crazy. There was so much of it to grasp onto. I hesitated before putting it in my mouth. No turning back now.
Gripping it firmly, I slid the length of it into my mouth. Fuck, it tasted so good. I got lost in the flavor. The vein running along the side of it was silky, yet rough. The tip was sensitive and made me salivate.
Leaning forward, I swallowed his length and let my tongue lick over the sensitive tip. "Fuck, princess," he grunted. "You're such a good girl." He murmured, petting my hair. A shiver ran through me at his words. "Such a dirty girl, sucking your stepdads cock."
He moaned. I bobbed up and down, loving how it felt in my mouth. I was able to fit a lot of it in. "So good," he breathed. The feel of him in my mouth caused me to get wetter. My clit throbbed, demanding attention.
If I had been standing, I would have fallen. I sucked harder, moving my head faster. I loved how my stepdad was using his free hand to play with my breasts, tweaking my nipples.
They were so sensitive. "Just like that, babe," he encouraged. I looked up, locking eyes with him.
His eyes were closed as he rocked into my mouth, driving deeper.
Ohhh, my god. I loved everything about it. How he felt in my mouth, the taste of him. James was truly the best. He was good at everything. In my eyes, there was nothing better.
"That's it princess, bouta make me cum..." he groaned.
I bobbed my head faster, letting my saliva drip down his length each time. James gripped the back of my head, shoving me down further as I gagged.
I didn't Protest this though, I wanted to do anything to make him cum.
"Right there, right there, fuck..." James panted, still forcing me down, I could feel him swelling in my mouth.
I moaned around his cock, holding it tightly in my throat. "That's it, baby," he grunted. "Swallow my cum, Princess." I could feel his balls tighten. He was close.
His hands were in my hair again, pulling me up. I kept his cock deep in my throat, milking him. His body shook. "Fuuuuck!" He shouted. He filled my mouth. He came so much. So much I started to gag, choking on his cum.
"Good girl, good girl, you're such a good girl," he babbled, petting my hair, stroking me until I stopped coughing. I milked him until he finished emptying himself down my throat.
"Daddy.." I whispered, my throat finally free as he pulled his dick out.
"I can see that look in your eye, baby. You want me to be inside you, honey?" He cooed, brushing his thumb over my cheek.
"Please, please daddy.." I begged, crawling into his lap.
"So eager, aren't you princess?" He smiled, giving his cock a few pumps.
I grabbed his face, locking my lips with his for the first time. It was an odd concept; kissing my stepdad, but it felt right. And so good.
He kissed me right back, tongue forcing its way into my mouth.
I groaned, opening wider to allow him access. My stepdad was so hot. I couldn't imagine being without him. I just wanted to be with him forever.
James broke the kiss, looking me in the eyes.
"How bad do you want daddy to fuck you?" He hissed soflty, my body suddenly filled with the sensation of him running the tip through my folds.
My breath caught in my throat. "Bad," I moaned.
"Very bad." He chuckled. "You better not scream too loud, princess. I don't want anyone to hear you."
I rocked my hips on the pressure of his cock. I was a little worried that he wouldn't fit inside me, I'd only had sex once or twice. Him on the other hand was extremely experienced, not to mention huge.
I didn't want to embarrass myself by not being able to take him. But I couldn't go any longer without feeling him inside me. I needed him. Desperately.
"Daddy, please.." I whimpered, my neck twitching.
He ran his hand up and down my spine, then trailed it down my ass, pushing my legs farther open. "Hmm, what's that baby?" He purred, sliding the tip inside me.
I squirmed at the sudden penetration, gripping his shoulders as I whined loudly. James' hands gripped my hips gently, holding me in place.
"Tell me what you want, baby," he urged. "I need to hear the words, princess. Don't make me stop." I looked up at him, meeting his stare.
"I want you, Daddy. I need you. Please."
I whimpered, wiggling my hips against his. He chuckled lowly. "Lord knows, I need you too, little one. I've wanted you for so long." He grinned as he slid his cock inside me in one powerful thrust.
The pain was intense, and I clawed at his shoulders. "Shh, baby. Just breathe. Feel your daddy inside you. Relax." He repeated as he held me still.
I was right, it stretched me a lot, but it was also the best feeling in the world.
James bounced me on his cock, thrusting up alongside. "Fuck! Daddy!" I cried out.
"Right there honey….. god, I think you're the tightest I've fucked." he groaned.
"Mmmm, that's right baby, ride that dick, just like that. Fuck, your wetness is driving me wild." He hissed, still pumping into me.
“Ooh, that's right... daddy, harder, fuck me harder, daddy." I bucked my hips.
He squeezed my thighs with large tattooed hands, gripping me tighter, ramming me into the mattress. I could barely keep up with him. I rode him until I couldn't anymore.
"Such a good girl," he growled as I collapsed, hardly having enough energy to keep riding him.
"Just relax while daddy fucks you."
He ordered. Ilaid my head on his chest, breathing heavily. I wasn't sure I could handle more. He held me up, still inside me, cradling me in his arms as he rammed into me.
"Yes, Daddy, yes, that's it..." I whined, my body getting used to him, and I became more flexible.
"Oooh, yes! Yes, yes!" I cried out. James's pace picked up.
I arched my back, causing him to push harder into me. I was soon screaming out his name, throwing my head back. "James!" I cried out, holding on for dear life as I was transported to another plane of existence.
He continued to thrust into me. I was so full, I thought I would burst. "Daddy, daddy, I'm going to cum again." I squealed.
“Cum all over daddy's cock, princess. Let it happen." He encouraged.
I cried out his name as my walls pulsated around him. "Ohhh, daddy!" I gasped. "Ohhh, fuck, I'm cumming too." James slammed into me, jerking his hips as he shot rope after rope of seed into me.
"That's it baby, cum on my cock. That's it." He growled. He continued to hold me, both of us breathing heavily. When he started to soften, we both dropped onto the bed, both of us exhausted.
I couldn't believe my own stepdad had just cum inside me. I loved it.
"You're gonna make me addicted to you, Princess." He murmured, rubbing up my back.
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laylawatermelon · 3 days
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I have thoughts about this ep...
(It's not good... But not bad)
911's writing of this storyline seems to be teetering in the wrong direction and it may cause a disconnect with some viewers.
Hi! I literally took a nap and woke up with an essay 🙃.
But let's get to the good stuff.
This season has been phenomenal. The acting and writing has all been consistent with the original past 4 seasons. (Season 5 and 6 were good just had a different tone)
This has been due to the show runner returning.
Now that we've gotten all the facts out of the way here's my opinion.
I'll be honest, the twin/lookalike story that came up is causing me to pull away and not in a good way.
If I objectively look at it as a fan this cones out of left field and may intrigue a set of fans. Those fans are likely in the higher age range. (Nothing wrong with it but just an observation)
(i keep up with updates online so it didn't bother me that much)
But for me as I was watching it and the scene came up and then The Grey's Anatomy came up I don't know why but a flash pinged in my brain of this feels like a Telenovela/Soap Opera.
And it is in fact a storyline commonly used or mentioned of the long lost twin or the doppelganger who's back to destroy, seduce, etc. to shake up the main characters life.
I will say that what 9-1-1 has been doing is a good job between toeing the line between supernatural and realistic.
This is leaning a bit to close to the former and can lose some people.
(i will say that this storyline isn't hitting like it usually does the others, even if I wasn't an buddie fan. Hell as an Eddie fan I'm still confused)
The tone of the show this season has been lighter so of course the storylines do reflect that.
My only gripe is what makes 9-1-1 compelling in the first place is the odd fact that the characters don't die and they're realistic (enough) in their cases and drama.
They're gripping enough that they can use these cliches to grip the audience backed by stellar performances and direction.
I just don't like the soap opera-y feeling I got from the trope. (Personal preference what can I say)
Now the next episode will probably expand on this storyline and will cause the conclusion to be touching and heartfelt.
I'm just a bit sour about the lead up to it because it's like oh this woman who looks exactly like my deceased/missing partner appears in the same vicinity as me (despite living in a very big very populated state) so I must get to know her better. I end up throwing away my morals and then something bizarre happens and then something else happens and I find out she's insert - (illusion/twin/stalker/literally anything out of pocket you can think of).
The audience swoons because of course she is (bad/evil/plotting etc).
It's not gripping me.
Emotionally however I'm intrigued how this will eventually effect Christopher as it he sees her he's screwed for life.
In addition to his dad talking to her in the first place, therefore unintentionally enforcing his women all leave/slight lack of respect for their feelings as they're replaceable (she would literally replace his mom in name and face) or disposable (Marisol as the woman left behind).
Yes Eddie's happy but he's also being more reckless than he usually is.
He's always been aiming to find what they had but his actions have implications.
(imma put on my buddie hat for a second this is all/j)
Like how he leaves his son with his dad and goes on a date with another person constantly. 😤 Rude
(no lie they are good coparents though even if they are platonic. They work better than some romantic straight families on tv)
Back to analysis mode though, this action has dangerous implications on both how relationship with Christopher and how he can harm him and eventually how their relationship can decline because of this.
It's not just the disloyalty to both his current partner and son but the example he'll be setting.
Chris probably may end up listening to Buck more as a result because he wouldn't/hasn't hurt him in the way his father currently does with this situation. For relationship advice and such.
Yes it's good drama (in an emotional/analytical sense) I'm just sulky about the telenovela feel of it don't mind me.
I'm positive their performances will make it lean more towards the procedural drama movie feel the show is known for.
Hell this had to happen some day right? The soap operafication of 9-1-1.
Hope is a beautiful ride at least. 🤷🏾‍♀️
(ps this episode was great all things aside)
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phoenix-flamed · 5 months
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Me, fondly remembering my playthroughs of FFVII, VIII, IX, X, X-2, and XII: I don't need more blogs I don't need more blogs I don't need more blogs I do --
Though if I did RP as anyone, it'd hands-down be Beatrix from IX.
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Case file #101: Adam Taurus
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Race: Faunus
Nationality: Atlas
Ethnicity: Mantlecean
Weapon: Wilt & Blush (note: resembles a SDC weapon prototype that was stolen about 5 years ago. The blade stores kinetic energy that is then released in the form of harsh destruction rays.)
Gender: Man
Sexuality: Gynephiliac (This information was obtained from a double agent in Menagiere)
Current Age: 21
Aura Color: Red
Handedness: Right
Complexion: Pale
Eye Color: Pale blue
Faunus trait: Bull horns (Adam has both the strength and Endurance of a Bull, according to reports.)
Occupation: White Fang Vale branch leader
Previous Occuppation: White Fang Black ops commander (Classified)
13 years ago, Adam Taurus (note: last name constructed) became the subject of a world known, yet private court case against the SDC where a brand over his left eye was used as evidence of several claims of Faunus workplace abuse. The accusers in the court case were the two leaders of the White Fang, Ghira Bête & Sienna Khan. The White Fang won the court case and an anti neo-slavery bill was passed throughout Atlas-Mantle as a result. Adam, who had recently lost his mother at the time and was a still a minor, was adopted by Sienna Khan who took him to Menagiere.
... unfortunately, 5 years ago Ghira and his wife Kali Bête were assasinated at a Faunus rally somewhere in rural Sanus. They survive by their only daughter, Blake Bête. Since then, the White Fang has cultivated a [CLASSIFIED] organization under the leadership of Sienna Khan. The leaders of the White Fang under Sienna include Adam (Vale branch leader) and Fennec & Corsac Albain (Religous leaders). Attempts by the White Fang to establish an Atlas branch have been stopped by the council (note: countinue to stop them. watch all WF gatherings in Atlas).
WARNING: ONLY MEMBERS WITH LV.5 CLARENCE ARE ALLOWED TO READ BELOW
The White Fang has a Black Ops organization being used to carry out robberies and assasinations in all of Renment. The leader of the Black Ops is Adam Taurus, with Illia Amitola (note: needs a case file) and Blake Bête (has carried out 8 known assasinations on Faunus hate groups, currently missing, needs a case file) as sub commanders. All three serve as de-facto leaders of the White Fang in the event Sienna Khan is killed (note: Do NOT assasinate Sienna Khan, it will lead to race riots. Limit anti White Fang activity to covert operations).
Adam is wanted for the murders of 64 individuals in Atlas, all of whom are connected to the SDC (note: at least 20 were family members). If spotted, do NOT kill him, he is to be captured alive under all circumstances. Allow him to flee if he cannot be captured.
[The writing below is a transcript from a page recovered from a mansion attacked by the White Fang. It is believed to come from Adam Taurus, written by him and then stabbed to the wall.]
"...your father is a white demon. He told me he loved me and would take me to Atlas, but after I gave him what he wanted he left me down here in his mines. Adam, I need you to find your father. And when you do, I want you to kill him. And his wife. And their children. Kill every human on this earth so I can forgive giving birth to a half-"
"I WILL DO IT MOM"
[End of paper dialouge]
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bingbongsupremacy · 3 days
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Closure Pt. 2
Pairing: Steve Harrington x plus size!reader
Warnings: swearing, anger, idk what else
Series Summary: You never knew Steve could be so shallow. When he leaves you to date Nancy Wheeler, you're left with a pain you thought he'd never leave with you. Maybe you should've stayed friends.
Part Summary: He wrote a letter. You don't need him. Right?
*Not Proof Read* Stranger Things Masterlist
Based off of Taylor Swift Song Closure. This was a request. I tried to make everything as general as possible. Pls let me know if missed something ty.
Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3
*****
No one was supposed to know we were dating. Steve said he didn’t want his teammates to bug me. He didn’t want people to overreact when they found out about us and say mean shit. At the time, I agreed. I mean, Steve’s the king of Hawkins high. I wouldn’t be the first girl he’s dated who’s had rumors spread about them. 
Hiding us was harder than we thought. A month or so after we got together Tommy found out and told the whole team. Gradually the whole school found out. Gossip spreads like wildfire, especially in a town like Hawkins. 
During the weeks after we broke up, I started to think about our secret relationship.
He wasn’t trying to protect me. He was trying to protect his reputation. Steve might not show it but deep down he’s just like everyone else. He’s got insecurities too. He obsesses over anything negative that’s said about him, analyzing everything that others think is imperfect about him until he finds a way to change it.
That’s something I noticed sophomore year when we started to get a little closer.
He was kind to me, but he wasn’t perfect. I don’t know for sure but I think he still messed with underclassmen, bullying them for praise from Tommy and Carol. He wanted to be liked by everyone, especially those two assholes.
He was always going to pick them over me. 
“ Honey, this came in for you today. “ My mom breaks me out of my thoughts. 
I look up from my stack of paperwork. “ What? From who? “ My brows furrow in confusion. Who would send mail to my parents’ house? I haven’t lived here in years. 
“ It’s from Steve. “ My moms eyes scan over the stark white envelope. 
My heart sinks. 
What the fuck does he want? 
I haven’t seen or talked to him since graduation 7 years ago. What could he want with me? Last I heard he got a job at Family Video and Nancy broke up with him. 
He knows I’m here. He has to. Fucking Hawkins. When one person knows everyone knows. Mrs. Henderson must’ve told someone when I ran into her at the gas station. 
“ What ever happened to you and Steve? Do you both still talk? “ My mom asks curiously while handing over my mail. 
Oh right. I never told her. 
“ We fell out of touch. You know, life. " I shrug, hoping that's enough for her.
" Oh, that's so sad sweetie. I'm sorry. " She sends me a small sympathetic smile. " That's always hard when you lose touch with someone you love. " She gently pats my shoulder.
Love.
Steve didn't love me.
I send her a small smile, hoping to drop the topic. " It happens, ma. "
" Well, I'll you get to it. " She dismisses herself, leaving me to the letter in my hands.
I trace the sharp corners of the envelope. Should I open it? Do I want to?
I wonder what it says.
What could he have to say to me after all of these years? It couldn't be something worth my time. Not after the shit that happened in high school. Right?
But what if it is?
Fuck it. I'm curious.
I pull open the envelope and let the torn paper fall into my lap. A neatly folded letter greens me, the bright white stationary paper matching the envelope.
This is it. Here we go.
I pull open the letter. Dark blue pen lines starkly contrast the white paper. Steve's familiar handwriting fills a good portion of the page. At the bottom his squiggly signature lies, bold and exactly the same as I remember.
Y/N,
I hope this letter finds you. I heard you're back in town. I've been meaning to do this for a long time. I've debated writing to you for years. I didn't know if I had anything good enough to send to you.
I was an asshole to you. You didn't deserve how I broke up with you. I feel horrible about how I treated you. About how I let other people change my opinion and control my actions. I should've stood stronger with what I thought.
That's something I always loved about you. You didn't let other people sway your opinions. I'm sure you still don't. You thought for yourself.
You are so much braver than I am. You didn't compromise yourself for others.
I've thought about what happened for years. About how you must have felt.
I hope you're well. I hope you've been able to move on and you've continued to be yourself. I know I don't deserve to say that, I just wish you the best.
I wanted to explain to you why I did what I did. I owe it to you. I was selfish. I got caught up in the high school popularity shit. I know it's stupid. I wanted to be Hawkins High's main guy. I wanted the Prom King title. I wanted the attention.
I really did like you. You made me feel safe and understood. You were always patient and kind. You urged me to be me, even when I felt like caving under pressure. You liked me for me, not for who I was trying to be. You deserved better than me.
People started to talk. You know. You heard the rumors.
At first, I thought I could handle it. I thought it wouldn't bug me. I thought I could push past it all. I cracked. Tommy and Carol jumped on the wagon and it pushed me over the edge. I couldn't bare the thought of losing the respect I'd worked so hard to get. I couldn't handle the teasing I'd get from the guys after games or the looks Tommy'd send my way when he saw us together.
It was wrong. I didn't think about you. About how you must've felt and how you were handling everything that was going on. It was Senior Year. I should've held on. We would've been out of this shit hole in a few months anyway, I don't know why I didn't just ignore it all. That's one of my biggest regrets.
I've been in therapy for a few years now. I've worked past all that surface-level shallow shit. I really see just how much I hurt you, and for that I'm so sorry.
I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that you're the first girl I ever loved and I am so grateful for you. Our relationship sent me on a path to help myself, and for that I will always love you.
Thank you.
-Steve Harrington
P.S. The week before we broke up I was going to give this to you. I never did.
I glance down at the envelope in my lap and open it. At the bottom lays a shiny silver necklace. A small gem, my birthstone, lays in the center. It glimmers in the light. It's beautiful.
I turn the gem over and spot a small engraving on the back.
SH +Y/N
For a moment I'm torn.
Should I write him back? Should we talk?
Part of me does miss him. I miss his laugh. His playful teasing. The way he looked at me.
No.
He hurt me. A lot.
He can't just send a letter and make it better. Why didn't he talk to me in person if this really weighed on him as much as he says it did? Why didn't he call me?
I don't need him. I'm fine. I've been fine without him for years. I'm not going to let him back into my life because he feels bad about his actions and insecurities.
I left Hawkins for a reason. I needed to get away from Steve. I needed him out of my life.
I'm not going to let him back in for his sake.
I don't need him.
I stand up, taking the papers and necklace in my hand. I walk over to the trashcan near my dresser. Without a second thought, I drop everything into the can.
The necklace makes a small clunking sound as it hits the bottom of my empty can.
The rustling of papers quiets and so does my pounding heart.
I'm fine on my own.
(Do we like this ending? Or should I try to make another part? )
Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @queen-apple24
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kdrama-movies-more · 6 months
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#strong girl nam soon#voice 3#ryu si-o#do kang-woo#kdrama#anyway lot of this ep 16 reminded me of Voice...like... from the minute the preview had swat waving the lights#and then the bloody boat scene#spoilers#Ogata ties up generalized father+brother issues and being overlooked by saviour+that shocker graphic ending#I mean i guess it was a forgone conclusion due to the drugs+ that last minute kick the dog with Hwaja(but what about Kyle? sm1 adopt him!)#I think after spotting too many badly done refs/parodies I ought have guessed we were getting Voice(the parallels are only in my head)...#Waikiki was A+; Bongsoon and Parasite etc not so much; it didn't fit organically just like Beyond Evil+Bong-soon+X-files didn't fit in BYT#Behind Your Touch was however solid in knowing like Noda how to comedy and parody(crime part was too weak) nd intersting flow nd characters#on that note mercy was at least had closure w/Binbin instead of left hanging lik KSW; now this is character+tragedy instead of plot device#Voice2-3 was weak when it came to the underworld; 2 was carried by Bang Je-su. Si-o is not Bang Je-su level but both are>Kaneki+Ppang#if this gets a season 2 unlike BYT though I'll be too mad at jtbc; theres enough actual good series hanging minus next seasons#I like Bread Song's aesthetic but begs the question why weren't the mom and Bread Song the actual main characters from the start?#oh and also their whole use of names and codeword was weird and not too...well interesting for lack of a better word#the whole biblical st. paul bread thing...#(Pavel is Russian for Paul)
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armenelols · 1 year
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For after the Last Battle and the overthrow of Morgoth, when the Valar gave Elros and Elrond a choice to belong either to the kin of the Eldar or to the king of Men, it was Elros who voyaged over sea to Númenor following the star of Eärendil; whereas Elrond remained among the Elves and carried on the lineage of King Elwë.
Note 19 - And also that of Turgon; though he preferred that of Elwë, who was not under the ban that was laid on the Exiles.
- Problem of Ros, HoME XII
Every once in a while I remember this passage and am sent spiralling into the orbit.
Elrond saw the disaster that were the Noldor and went 'nope, I am staying out of that drama. Sindar, here I come' and he's so valid for it. Living up to the as wise as a wizard. He looks at the elven side of his family tree, goes 'do you think I am stupid' and chooses the least problematic branch.
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anirudhpisharody · 11 days
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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catholicjinx · 1 year
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um. help
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mrfoox · 3 months
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.... OK I really hope I can keep this dude ♥
#miranda talking shit#Like... I just want him around me... Yeah. First visit I thought it may be how I felt. Now I'm like lol yeah#8+ hour visit later... Not even that I just... Am being used for sx like we talk so much#We talked about past experiences and love and children etc. Like... I guess we just vibe. Or rather I feel like we do#We make each other laugh and he seem to want to touch me and want to tell me about things#He talked about metal (or we about music but I'm not a metal head so) and he played songs for me#He found my reactions to them funny. Some song did some guitar thing and I was like “woah!”#He laughed and after the song went into explaining what it was. How it was done and such#“i wonder what you think about this... Or... Well maybe you won't care. But I think you may find it interesting?”#Me already clawing at the phone: yes yes I'm interested show me!!!#I love having people show me things willingly. Like even if it's embarrassing or whatever like hey I am going to love it#He showed Warhammer figures he had painted and talked about that#I love hearing people info dump like omgggg hiiii tell me everything uwu#I took up the... Idea of being fwb and being like... Exclusive about it. And he was like “I mean... I haven't really been seeing anyone els#Mainly bc I don't want to and bc it's so... -makes eye contact with me-“ me: tiring?”-deep sigh-yes so tiring.... “#He shared a lot of personal things in general and one thing in detail he definitely didn't have to#I mean I casually say I got daddy issues but that's like... Yeah my dad never cared for me and my siblings that's just how it is ya know#Idk man. Been a while I... Felt so... At ease and.... Open so quick with anyone. I liked Linus quick but not in this way#I hope I get to keep him around me for more... Like he's.... I think we have things in common but we are definitely still different enough#Want to learn everything I can about him. Plus he let's me be... Overly affectionate and serviceing him like an doting mom (how I want to#Treat everyone in my life but I know majority don't accept it). I get to bring him a drink and help him get dressed to go outside#Men who just goes along with how I want to express affection and not hate it is great#I mean. I don't think he have been touched this... Affectionately before either. I'm very intense and like.... Yeah it's like I'm in love#With you. Sorry I'm stroking your face and looking into your eyes and all :/#He just smiles. Me with basically heart shaped eyes and he's like: :)#Some nerdy brunette: hi (: me: omg? Spend all your free time with me???
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