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bumblequinn · 7 months

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hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

#adhd #advice #asks #from #sourpatchsquids

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elbiotipo · 2 months

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Worldbuilding: Galactic Empires

My only complaint about the Prequels is that they needed MORE politics

If you've watched Dune recently, you must have noticed the whole Emperor and space noble families thing. And yes, it's likely you heard that in WH40k too… and I HOPE you know that's where the God Emperor came from, since WH40k took "inspiration" from everywhere from Dune to Star Wars. Which also has a Galactic Empire. Like so many other science fiction franchises.

In fact, if you're a science fiction fan, it's very likely that you're familiar with space or galactic empires, they seem to be common as dragons in fantasy. Despite the fact that an empire doesn't sound very futuristic, does it?

Where did all these Galactic Empires come from? Are they just a narrative tool or are they an actual possibility? How would states and societies work in space? Let's find out, and maybe I can give you some ideas on how to write fun galactic "empires" from both a narrative and plausibility perspective.

This is going be a long post. Perhaps my longest yet. But I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it. Click down to continue.

First of all, where did these space emperors come from? In another post, I've talked about the influence of the idea of the rise and fall of the Roman Empire in English-language fiction. However, in science fiction, I would say the influence is more direct. The Foundation trilogy of Isaac Asimov, one of the foundational (lol) works of science fiction, was intended by the author, very explicitly, as a retelling of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon in a science fiction setting. He probably wasn't the first to think about a space empire, I'm very sure the term is older, but he certainly popularized it as a staple of science fiction. Now, if your contact with science fiction comes from movies, when you hear Galactic Empire you're of course thinking about Star Wars. But yes, Star Wars is also the same retelling, because Lucas was inspired in both Asimov AND Gibbon, even though I think we should appreciate Lucas' ability to bring it to life in the screen. Certainly, Isaac Asimov wasn't the first or the last to take inspiration in history to tell stories about the future.

The most influential science fiction work of all time.

At this point you're probably telling me (or not, I don't know you) about all other sorts of science fiction works that DON'T have galactic empires, or better yet, those that don't just transpose historical societies into the far future and imagine something entirely new (my personal recommendations on this area are Banks and LeGuin). And you'd be right. But the concept of a space empire seems popular and long-lived, much like feudalism in the fantasy genre, everyone has a picture of a sorts when a videogame or a book talks about a "galactic empire" or "galactic republic" or a "federation", an "empire" much like a shorthand name for "a country In Space", regardless of the presence of an actual Emperor or not. And so, it's worth exploring how this trope could, or not, work, so we can see the possible alternatives or more fun ways to approach it.

Besides, that's the title of the post. Galactic Empires.

So, let's approach this from the perspectives of Space, Time (or to keep with the theme, Spacetime) and Technology, and lastly, the most fun part, we'll explore some fun variations on this idea of galactic empires and societies.

Space:

Space is big, and I won't quote the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy here, it would be groanworthy at this point. Let's do a quick exercise instead. Let's image a "modest" space empire, not even galactic, 2000 light-years across. Sounds quite big, it encompasses most of the visible stars we can see from Earth… however, if you project it into a galactic map, it's actually a very small piece of sky, actually 2% of the entire galaxy which is about 100.000 ly across. Now, according to the Atlas of the Universe, there are 600 million stars in a 5000 ly radius from the Sun. Jesus Christ. This is actually hard to estimate accurately as the true number of red dwarfs and brown dwarfs, the dimmest stars, are hard to count, but we already know those have planetary systems as complex as our own Solar System, even planets that could bear life. Let's scale back to our 2000 ly across space empire, again, just a small cozy corner of the Milky Way Galaxy, something that would look like a small, even tiny, nation in any setting of a galactic scale. This gives us 240 million stars (from the estimated 200 billion stars of the galaxy) in this space, which is still completely insane but let's work with that.

From Atlas of the Universe, so you can compare and contrast, the stars 2000 ly from the sun (ONLY the brightest ones), and the entire Milky Way. Notice how small 2000 light years truly are at that scale.

Even if I just told you that all of those systems might be as complex and rich as the Solar System, let's rather arbitrarily say only 5% of those 240 million are worth of note. Not necessarily having life (no way I'm getting into that yet), just worth visiting or living in for the resources or the views or the cantinas… whatever. That's 12 million star systems. Okay, let's refine this further. Let's say of those 12 million, most of them are the equivalent of gas stations or farmsteads, a couple thousand people at most. The REAL places where the action happens are the systems or worlds where millions of people live, and those are few and far between (this makes both common and narrative sense, as people tend to cluster in population centers where trade, resources, etc. are). Let's say, and let's refine this further so I don't get outrageous numbers, the average population of those systems is 100 million (about the size of Mexico, Vietnam or Japan. Many sci-fi works throw worlds of billions like Earth like nothing). And those systems are… uh, like 2% of THOSE 5% 'systems of note' (a flimsly concept already but play along). That's 2% of 12 million. We got 240.000 systems or worlds the population size of entire countries, with all that implies (economy, culture, politics). Of course, 240.000 multiplied 100 million gives this speculative fictional empire a total population of… (Jesus Christ, not the scientific notations), 2.4e+13, or TWENTY FOUR TRILLION PEOPLE.

Let's wind back and remember I tried my best to make a "small" empire for a galactic-sized setting, 2000 light-years across, that's just from here to Orion's Nebula for Gagarin's sake! A trillion people is just outside the realm of my imagination, or pretty much anyone's. Can you imagine any kind of goverment system that would be enough to provide any kind of meaningful governance to 24 trillion people? In the case of a space empire, can you imagine a single space emperor, a single person, deciding over them? Keep in mind that emperors don't rule on their own (we'll talk about that), they need bureacrats to make their will done, and vassals to govern their territories in their stead. This would apply even in democratic systems, you need representatives and civil servants and more.

Let's scale back a bit before I go insane. Instead of assuming territory, let's go with population. Assume a spherical cow space empire of… 40 billion people, that's reasonable right? You can picture that in your head? Five times the population of current Earth, no biggie, we can work with that, it's all cool. Now, how big would a goverment for such a population would have to be? We actually have reasonable answers. China has about 10 million civil servants for a population of 1.4 billion people, but that's only the administrators, not including all the teachers, healthcare workers, security forces, laborers, etc. employed by the state. India has 6.4 million for about the same population. Okay, so easy math, let's say that this space empire has 6 million bureacrats for 1 billion people, for our empire of 40 billion people, that gives us a total of 240 million… just bureacrats, nothing else. Yes, you could reduce that with technology by say, half. It still means an entire Mexico-sized country of bureacrats. Imagine.

Entire worlds of this.

NOW I WILL STOP THROWING NUMBERS AT YOU, and let's just think about what this means. If we assume a space empire like the ones common in science fiction, or just any kind of… goverment at all, we're talking about, at the lowest estimates, entire countries worth of state employees, if not whole EARTHS of bureacrats. You can guess how things can get really weird fast. Current goverments as we know them just won't work at all it even if technology gets more powerful. Leaving aside, for now, things like god-like AI adminstration (yeah, have you seen what they are like now?)… to exhert ANY kind of control, FTL or not (more on that below) you would need a very, very autonomous empire, to the point it might as well not exist at all. Why take orders from A Guy who is not only far away but also has no hope at all of actually enforcing them in any meaningful sense? Why call yourself part of his "empire" that not only cannot enforce anything upon you, but also cannot benefit you in any way? Big question, of course, the benefit of a galactic or even smaller empire, but we'll discuss that later.

What could work, however, is that instead of a centralized state like we concieve it today, or even a loose confederation, even loose alliances, even pretty much anything… 'empires' (as in 'countries') In Space could be "united" by common ideas and culture instead of any institution. Perhaps not even a written delcration or constitution, but shared ideas: a culture, a religion, an ideology. Lots of different strong mini-states (that might mean billions of people…) that all claim to be part of the same "civilization", but share no goverment at all at all, just the same 'idea', in a looser way that even the most decentralized goverments you can think of. You can say "well all countries are made up" but these would barely qualify as even that. Not even the Holy Roman Empire was this fake.

Perhaps even a single person as a symbolic focus point of unity? Which would be actually a score for the proponents of galactic empires in the most literal sense. But at the same time, such an Emperor would be completely powerless to interact with the entire galaxy. His plans for, I don't fucking know, education reform or tax breaks, would have to be filtered by literal millions of bureaucrats and vassals that at that point might do whatever the hell on his name. Military-wise, his armies would count as nations of their own. However, the overall guidance of a single person (or constitution…) as a symbol might make otherwise disparate worlds to collaborate on the same causes, being part of the same greater whole no matter the distance. So maybe, instead of a Galactic Emperor, a Space Pope?

OH MY GOD-EMPEROR WAS THE IMPERIUM REALISTIC ALL ALONG? Probably not, but also yes, let's keep talking.

By the way, I'm sure you're tired of big numbers now, but I did one possible calculation for the whole galaxy, a true Galactic Empire. Asuming just 0.2% (400 million) of the 200 billion stars are populated, with an average population of one million, the size of the smallest countries that aren't micronations. The total galactic population would be 40 trillion, or 40,000,000,000,000. Five thousand Earth populations.

Time:

Or rather, space-time. We'll talk about both, because what concern us is the speed of information and trade, and that also limits the size of our empires.

I'm sure you know by now faster-than-light travel is impossible. Most of space based science fiction has it, of course, for narrative purposes. We don't want Our Heroes to spend two thousand years to get to the lair of the Evil Space Tyrant, I don't either, and I'll discuss FTL soon. But let's start with no-FTL here, just like in real life, and a smaller "empire", much, much smaller than my previous examples. A mere 250 light years across. Let's not even calculate population now.

This, quite logically, means that the fastest your communications would flow is at light speed. So if your emperor issues orders to a nearby world, say, 5 ly away, you will get an answer 5 years later. For a more reasonable distance of 60 ly, you would know the results 60 years from the descendants of those who recieved the order (now, assume however they keep in constant conversation, just with a 60 year delay), and by then, things there would have changed 60 years from the capital. You get the idea, Einstein sucks, don't need to elaborate more. At first glance, this might be another point for old-style feudal star empires, though. What better way to guarantee your empire is working well over centuries than by having an hereditary class of nobles loyal to you, no matter how much time passes (results may vary). Of course, how would you even enforce that? Rebels might overthrow them and you'll learn about it a century later, and you'll have to send ships to quash the rebellion… or would you?

Is there a point to send ships to conquer other worlds in such a situation? What kind of resources (ah, the lifeblood of empires) could you control with such an empire where transport takes decades and industry is so developed you could, theoretically, make manufactured goods yourself? I'm assuming you can, because you can build spaceships to get there in the first place (not unreasonable), but what would justify creating an interstellar goverment controlling people, trade, resources, over light-decades? Normally, it's at this point where sci-fi authors make up Something (what Atomic Rockets calls "McGuffinite") to justify interstellar trade. In Dune, for example, it's Spice, which is kind of like, to steal a joke, petroleum mixed with cocaine. But otherwise, in a no-FTL setting (so, real life as far as we know) there isn't really the incentive to conquer or even form a goverment of any but the looser kind with other worlds. Trade, maybe, but those are long-term investments, it's difficult to think what kind of good or service would be so in demand would justify it. Especially when you consider that light-speed is your upper limit, and ships might be actually way slower than that. And I'm not even gonna begin to touch relativistic effects.

I was going to make a joke about blowing a quarter of your GDP in Star Destroyers, but have you heard of the South American Dreadnought Race? One of our dumbest moments down here, surely.

Add FTL, and things change, of course. Even very slow ships, that would take months to transverse a dozen light years, would be able to justify trade in luxury goods and passengers, for instance. This is not too far from real-life either, after all, European colonial empires had travel times in the months, and they had to install local administrations such as viceroys because of this, yet rhose places they were considered part of the same empire (most European empires could be rather considered a collection of "countries" and colonies, look at all the divisions of the Spanish Empire for instance). Faster and cheaper ships would of course, mean even more trade (here, I'm using 'trade' as 'communication between worlds', not necessarily implying capitalism, it could be mercantilism or even a command economy) between worlds, even perhaps the classic trope of agrarian and mining worlds feeding the rich core worlds. The Open Veins of Latin America In Space. Fun.

The speed of your ships and communications not only determines trade, but the power projection of your state (we can discuss 'stateless' societies too, there's plenty of fun to be had). If, again, your Galactic Emperor makes a Galactic Proclamation from the Galactic Palace near the Galactic Core (let's roll with that) and he has no FTL communications of any kind, it means that his commanding voice would reach the outer edges of the galaxy 100.000 years after, that is, almost ten times the history of agriculture on Earth. If he, however, has access to ships that can cross the galaxy in say, months, yes, perhaps he can have a series of vassals all over the stars (perhaps, we'll see…), and the faster things are, the closer they resemble our current fast-paced society, but not quite, given the available resources and space in… SPACE and the possible population, as we discussed above. As you can see, the speed of your FTL or lack of it determines everything.

There is another, more *realistic* option. Instead of individual FTL ships, you could have wormhole portals connecting worlds. This is more realistic in the sense that it's theoretically possible (though we have no idea on how to make one), but it also has some interesting implications. First of all, there is an implication that such a wormhole network would be expensive to build and maintain, requiring highly complex technology, material (I'm not sure what the hell exotic matter really is) and production methods, well, more high than what you'd expect from the usual. Second, it would be something preferably fixed, with hubs, planned routes and regular transit (and for writers, it easily allows you to map your universe). Such networks would be vital pieces of infrastructure, built and maintained by central authorities, drawing routes and transport hubs in space. Yes, indeed, almost like… space railroads.

OH MY ASTRAL EXPRESS WAS HONKAI STAR RAIL REALISTIC ALL ALONG? (last joke I promise)

There is also a very strange effect about wormhole networks. Time is relative, as you know, and this is not a metaphor, it literally "flows" differently on how fast you're moving. The "universal" "speed" of "time" "seems" to be the speed at which matter moves in an expanding universe (red-shift and blue shift) as I understand it, but as you approach light-speed, time flows differently in your frame of reference. Wormholes are strange in the sense that they connect space AND time, the observable time in both sides of a wormhole would be the same, and as such, places connected by a wormhole network will "be" at the same "time". This has been talked about by some authors who have considered about wormholes in the context of space civilizations, and it's called (STOP!) Empire Time. So a space empire might not only imply a state ruling over a population and a territory, but also over a time. I have no idea how this works and it frankly makes my head hurt, but here is an analysis of transversable wormholes if you want to indulge or hit your head against a wall.

Technology:

As an extension from the previous section: Of course there is no working FTL method known in real life, as far as we know, light-speed is the upper limit for everything. Instead of constraining you as a writer, this can be one of your biggest assets.

Because if you're doing a space setting, the existence of faster-than-light travel and its speed is the most important decision you can take about it.

Got that? Did I emphasize that enough? You don't need to actually explain HOW your FTL system works, you can do some research and invent something, but you need to be clear, in your head, what it can DO: How far and how fast it can take you. A FTL system that takes months to go from star to star will be very different to one that takes hours to span the Galaxy like the hyperdrive of the Millenium Falcon. A FTL system that is cheap and can be installed in any tiny ship like in the Elite videogame would be different from the ones in Dune where interstellar travel requires enormous motherships and lots of drugs, or a wormhole network that needs massive infrastructure maintainment and probably a railway starway worker's union, or the case of no FTL at all. This is, again, the most important decision you could make for your setting, bar none. Got that? Let's continue.

FTL is perhaps the only place in science fiction where I don't care about how it works, only about how fast it goes

Now, technology. Space empires, are of course, not possible without space travel being cheap enough (not talking about FTL, just regular space travel): shipping stuff to space should be about the same as shipping stuff by airliner or, well, ships. This is not unreasonable. Efforts are being made right now to lower the cost to access space, and while space agencies like NASA might look expensive, they are not NEARLY as expensive as the money wasted in say, stealth jet fighters or fucking advertising (people who say 'why spend so much money in space when we could fix our problems on Earth' seem to forget about that all the time. But I digress.). A technologically advanced, wealthy (as in production, not literal dollars) society could easily afford as much space exploration as they wish with no real effect at all in their quality of life, indeed, it would improve it. Space isn't as expensive as it seems. At its very, very core, a spaceship is just steel and propellant.

And steel and propellant are very, very easy (once you got the technical research to do it) to get in space. Asteroids are MADE of iron and metals, a single asteroid is richer than all of Earth's mines combined. Hydrogen is literally the most abundant element in the universe, and water is on plentiful supply (no need to steal planets for water) on comets and icy asteroids and moons. Carbon is apparently widely available in carbonaceous asteroids, and in our own Solar System, Titan, the moon of Saturn, is basically covered in hydrocarbons (yes, OIL IN SPACE). All those resources could be very much in demand for manufacturing on a planet like for example, a future Earth that has taken its industry up to space. What's more, it's only bringing stuff up from Earth/an Earth-like or more massive planet (fun sci-fi term for you: "down the gravity well") that's really expensive. Once you get there, you can get anywhere with enough acceleration and propellant. Once there is space infrastructure and industry (and I get a feeling that it might get up fast, given that space technology would need to be very autonomous and reliable), it can sustain itself without a mother planet. In fact, if there's something I imagine would be considered a luxury in spacer life, it would be truly organic things; plants, wood, meat, wool, and so much more.

i am average astronaut man i work 15 hours in the asteroid mines to buy one burger

Which brings us to the big question; what kind of life would be out there? After all, I gave you numbers of millions and millions of worlds, it's hard to imagine at least a few of those don't have alien life. This is the biggest outstanding question in astrobiology currently and so I won't pretend to even try to answer it (my personal opinion, if you must, is that complex Earth life is extremely rare, but by sheer number of planets, it might exist by hundreds of thousands in our galaxy alone). Instead, let's try to see how science fiction looks at it.

Heinlein, another of the foundational writers of science fiction as a genre, saw alien worlds as just another frontier to be settled. Rich alien fruit, fertile arable lands, and huntable or tameable creatures just waiting to be exploited, and alien species to trade exotic goods with (or conquer). While Heinlein was not the only and probably not the first to write this subgenre, he certainly got it popular, and lots of works on his same vein follow this "frontier spirit" kind of writing, where space is seen as the last frontier to be tamed by hardy colonists in a very yeehaw cowboy western setting, and you can actually see this replicated in many modern science fiction like Firefly and the more cowboy-ish parts of Star Wars. And yes, this is balantly an expression of the 'manifest destiny' Usamerican imperialist worldview.

lots of Politics all over this Science Fiction Adventure

And yes, this idea of 'habitable' planets ready to be colonized like in a 4X videogame is also not very realistic either. We haven't found any alien ecosystems yet, but as a biologist I can tell you they would be very different from us in ways you probably won't expect. We can discuss how convergent evolution could be, a world with oceans would probably have equivalents of 'fish', 'algae' and 'worms' (I can GUARANTEE there will be A LOT of worms), we could even find very, very similar life to our own down to the body plan. However, we most probably could not eat them at all (which might sound silly at first glance but is needed to have you know. agriculture.), or perhaps even live in the same planet as them. We live in a society planet where most of the plants and animals which evolved with us can't be eaten, and many of them are toxic. It's possible, entirely likely, that the alien equivalents of carbohydrates (ever heard of L- and D-Glucose?), proteins and other substances would be indigestible to us, allergenics, or outright toxic, probably in ways we can't even think off. It's likely we won't catch alien diseases, but that's because our cells (if they even have cells) are completely incompatible with their diseases, just look at how different animal, plant and fungi cells are, now imagine whatever the fuck might evolve in a completely different biochemistry from us. There would be no farmsteads and cowboys like Heinlein wrote, living in Mars would probably be more pleasant that living in a world where everything might be toxic, not because life evolved to be toxic, just because it didn't evolve with you. If anything, these' habitable' worlds would be treated like giant nature preserves instead, you can look but don't touch.

(In one of my own settings, I sidestep this by proposing panspermia, that is, the idea that life spreads across the universe by means such as comets (or aliens) and thus shares similaritites and can eat the same stuff. A bit of a cop-out, but it does allow one to get with similar kinds of life.)

NOOO ANAKIN DON'T EAT THAT PEAR IT EVOLVED HIGHLY TOXIC ALKALOIDS IN A DIFFERENT EVOLUTIONARY CONTEXT NOOOO

But humans, if the biophilia hypothesis is right, will need nature in their lives. This is where orbital habitats come in. You know, like the ones in Gundam? Orbitals such as O'Neill Cylinders, Standford Torii (yeah, that's the plural for Torus) as well as bigger and more complex thingmajings I will write their own post about someday, have been proposed since the 1970s with technology available then, and there is no reason why a civilization with an advanced space infrastructure wouldn't try building them and even be better at it. What's very nifty about orbitals is that you can really make them your own personal custom miniworlds. Designs like the O'Neill cylinder are big, able to house hundreds of thousands, even millions of people if build to the top, but why do that? Mess with the lightining, the rotation, or the interior to make them a winter wonderland or a tropical paradise. I expect that they would be built to feed space communities at first with food that isn't imported from Earth or grown in hydroponics, and later as places to live and customize however you wish; perhaps a community would pool resources together and say, hey, we want to make an habitat that looks like a Colombian cloud forest, or the Okinawan Islands. Once they get cheap enough, and given how abundant resources are in space they might be not even as expensive as most engineering projects here on Earth, I expect actually many, many people would want to live in them, and it could be probably be very affordable, and just natural for the people who are born and raised and live and die in them. Another thing about habitats is that they are mobile. Like I said, as long as you got enough propellant and propulsion, you can move anything anywhere in space. Even whole habitats could move and cluster together depending on the local politics. Perhaps, much like city-states were the basic building block for countries in antiquity, in the future, the basic organization bloc would be the Orbital. You could have alliances of orbitals forming complex political intrigue inside a single solar system (yes, like in Gundam).

OH MY PLASTIC MODELS WAS GUNDAM REALISTIC ALL ALONG? (I lied)

This all might make space empires pretty much an unnecessary anachronism. Habitats can grow their own food and resources are plentiful once you have the right technology. They can also be mobile, so they could act like migrating cities at will, choosing to stay with like-minded "constellations" or strike out on their own without the dictates of a central state. It almost looks like an ideal anarchist society.

Or does it?

There is something very important to keep in mind about life in space. The technology, that is, habitats needed for life in space will require lots of maintainance and resource management, which implies there must be strong coordinating bodies with very, very strict rules so that shit doesn't blow up and you lose all your air into space, or the resources of an habitat are mismanaged and you end up with a food or water or even oxygen crisis. There is a reason why space exploration is done by state agencies or corporations with huge state backing. Another of Heinleins's favorite tropes, Libertarians in Space, would be impossible in such a situation. Actually, in ANY space situation, and this is why this section is in technology. Living in space requires you to be able to maintain complex technology and manage resources. None of this can be done ad-hoc or be left to individualism, you have to have Rules and follow them to the letter. And also, the effect of living in your 'own little world' would probably mean people have a strong indentity sense towards their home habitat. This will mean a more communitarian attitude. But before you think I'm waxing poetic about utopian habitat cultures, keep in mind that this also can mean an authoritarian mindset. After all, cults and authoritarian regimes do have "strong communities" too. An habitat could be everything from a well-managed place with responsible citizens who look for the welfare of all, to a closed society where everybody does as they're told as long as the tech works. On the other hand, I doubt habitats in a single star system would stay isolated. They'll probably trade and communicate with other habitats, forming constellations and power groups, that would prevent this 'closed system'. However, I doubt they would be too amenable to interstellar authority. Who the hell do those people from another freaking star think they are to tell us what to do in our habitat?

To be serious for a moment, habitats can be really cool places in science fiction. Especially if you imagine they could host all sorts of enviroments, from the tropical to the polar.

As an addenum… what if you really want to live in a planet? In places such as Mars or the Moon, things would be… pretty similar to orbitals actually. Habitats separated by vast expanses of barren nothingness, only now a planet instead of space (better for maps, at least). But that isn't what you're thinking, right? What if you wanted to feel the open wind and sky instead of a canned world? Well, this is where terraforming comes in. Transforming whole planets is something theoretically possible, but that would require massive investments of resources, more massive than anything we can imagine, and time, centuries at the very, very least. So stupid ideas like "terraform Mars to escape Earth", which as far as I know is only held by dumbasses like Musk, just don't make sense. It doesn't mean that terraforming itself is a worthless idea, it is a very appealing one. No matter how cool you can make your habitat, it won't ever be Earth. It won't ever be a self-sustaining biosphere with its own ecosystem that could last millions of years. For that reason, terraforming is attractive, it's something way more than an artificial "can" orbital, it's a new living world. There is a certain mystique into bringing lifeless worlds to life, but I expect that instead of the dumb Musk "ESCAPE EARTH" idea, the motivation for terraforming would be to recreate Earth, perhaps for conservation reasons (you could have whole planets as natural reserves), perhaps for tourist reasons, perhaps for spiritual reasons or even artistic reasons. On the other hand, the methods you can use to terraform a lifeless planet can also be used to 'terraform' living planets, as we've long seen in our own world… this could be done with hostile purposes. I would expect us to be better than that, but we simply don't know.

To close this section and give this post an conclusion, I think that, since there are no real borders in space, then empires, countries, polities, whatever you wish to call them, will be formed by stacking building blocs in loose alliances or confederations. The most basic would be habitats, then constellations of habitats, then inhabited planets (though I doubt any but the most populated ones would qualify), and then star systems, but little above that, and I expect up to a certain, difficult to calculate limit of population and area (though way, way below even a fraction of a speculated galaxy), things would be just impossible to manage. The effort in bureacracy, infrastructure and state control needed to project power out of a star system and the sheer scale of space probably won't ever justify empires, much less galactic empires, but you could have very interesting variations on the theme.

Fun Stuff!

So, let's play a little with what I've told you. I'm going to write a few short scenarios that might be fun takes on the "Galactic Empire" or "Space Empires" you might be familiar with already:

The Poleis Model

When the Greeks established their colonies around the Mediterranean, they didn't do it with the expectation they would be part of the same state or empire. They founded new poleis, new city-states, based on the constitution of the mother city (hence metropolis) but fully independent. The Phoenicians were much the same, with some of the daughter cities (Carthage means literally "new city") eventually becoming new cultures far from their home cities. Similarily, why should interstellar exploration mean the spread of a united state with a capital and all? Imagine that when interstellar ships depart, they do with the idea that they are going to create a completely new home, a new poleis, not an extension of the nations or organizations that sponsored them but rather more of a 'child' culture light years away from their motherland. As they develop in mostly isolation from each other, they will become new cultures on their own, while retaining ties to the ones most similar to them. This is, in my opinion, the most realistic scenario without FTL. With FTL, however, things get more interesting, as of course, Greek and Phoenician and other poleis didn't remain isolated light-years from each other, they had permanent contact. With FTL they could organize in leagues, perhaps even alliances for the ocassional military campaigns, trade and exchange of ideas, tourism and industry, and of course the Olympics.

The Wormholes Always Run In Time Model

As I've said, wormholes are pretty much like space railroads. Railroads, like other big infrastructure projects, need a centralized authority to be built and maintained. And once you are the central authority that does so, you're already in charge of the biggest arteries of trade and communication. Which makes you basically an empire, officially or not. In fact, this is the closest I imagine a space society would resemble the states we're familiar with here on Earth. If you have control over transport and the hubs of trade and politics, and that transport and communication network allows you to implent your policies, your rule might go very far indeed, and indeed, your main hub might be a great capital, the main station of known space. Now, perhaps you might be imagining a literal space empire with nobles and all that. Why not instead something else? The Socialist Interstellar, connecting the many worlds of the galaxy through a five hundred year plan of railroad wormhole construction in the path to communism... However, this would mean that people outside of the wormhole network might develop in different ways, perhaps the equivalent of nomads to the great settled empires of antiquity. And given what I've briefly touched on Empire Time (*breakdances*), the expression "the portals always run in time" might imply even more than just an aphorism.

The Civilization Cluster Model

I'll admit this is taken from Poul Anderson, as quoted in Atomic Rockets, to which I owe an inmense debt for this post and so much more. The idea is this; space is big, as is well established. Even with FTL to shorten the distances, even if you could cross the galaxy in a few weeks, the sheer number of stars is still insanely massive. Why should any civilization 'colonize' those stars dot by dot, what value is there in invading or colonizing planets with incompatible biochemistries? And how could even begin to think how to administer a thousand different worlds, each one as complex as Earth itself, let alone an entire galaxy? In this case, civilizations, instead of spreading across the galaxy, would mostly remain in their own 'civilization clusters'; even with FTL, there are so many issues closer to home that the idea of projecting power outside is ridiculous. There would be trade, exchange of ideas, and so much more between these clusters, but never constant enough and never with the authority necessary to create a "Galactic Empire"… the worlds are too many, too diverse, too populated and too far away for that. An interstellar traveller could roam the Galaxy for years exploring these clusters spread away from each other, with their own unique idiosyncracies and civilizations inside, and then a vast expanse of mostly nothing outside them. Basically, space is too big. I like to see them as constellations among the dark sky, hence the artwork.

The No Man's Sky Model

To live in space, you need complex technology, but also resilient and durable technology ready for any kind of situation, easy to repair and replace. So eventually, I believe designs would be standarized so much that every astronaut will carry or own a collection of standarized tools (somehow this reminds me of prehistoric tool cultures). Now, even with FTL, there's perhaps little material incentive for people to leave their comfortable homeworld or habitat to live in cold space. But some will, perhaps because of the sheer thrill of it, perhaps very small bands of families or friends. With a standarized tool kit for any ocassion, these small bands would spread across space, much like ancient humans spread across the world. But instead of creating space empires, without a fixed industrial base, they would be nomads. Which doesn't mean they would roam aimlessly, they would be seeking new biospheres, new resources and new cultures, and gathering in temporary or permanent market places, festivals and pilgrimages. Perhaps they could even be the majority of humans in space, while most others stay cozy on Earth.

...

This was a very long post and it took a lot work to make, so I hope you had as much fun reading it as it was for me to write it. If you did, and if you would like to see more, I would be very, very grateful if you donated to my Ko-Fi below. Anything helps a lot especially since my country is not doing great at this time governed by a libertarian idiot (not even the fun space kind), and even a little tip encourages me to post more, I'm always working on your suggestions! You can also contact me by DM or asks if you need any help with your worldbuilding or just want to rant with me a bit! See you next time, and thanks for reading.

#worldbuilding #science fiction #sci-fi #writing #writing advice #space #history #cosas mias

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thepaperpanda · 1 year

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The Art Of Hunting || Neteyam & Lo’ak x fem!Omaticaya reader

Summary: You are interrupted by Neteyam's younger brother during your hunting lesson.

Warnings: none, just pure fluff (and Lo'ak interfering with a hunt lesson😋)

Word count: 1900

Author: Rouge

A/N: prior to reading, it’s important to know that: this is my very first attempt at writing for Avatar ✤ the reader is female Omaticaya ✤ a few things are in Na'vi language (I hope they were translated correctly) ✤ some Pandoran creatures are mentioned in the fic ✤ you'll find a glossary underneath the fic

There was no doubt that Pandoran forests were one of the most beautiful, breathtaking sights on the planet. Those forests, filled with greenery and sometimes interspersed with rivers and lakes, have been home to many creatures, both small and large. Within the darkness entwined with light, harmony, so coveted, seemed alive, bonding everything together.

It was a beautiful sight to see the river in its generous curves, glinting blue amid the leafy green. As she drummed and rustled, the clear water echoed through the canopy of trees. As a result, the river invited all souls to dance, rumbling quietly and flowing with her current. A soil rich in brown hues, along with fleshy, lush green leaves, combined to create a three-dimensional wonderland that captured the attention of onlookers willing to slow down and absorb soft rays of sunlight falling through ancient branches and flowing down to the forest floor.

Upon hearing Neteyam whisper ‘breathe’ in a calm tone, your ears perked up.

As slowly as possible, you turned your face towards him, watching how focused the oldest Sully brother was - his eyes opened wide and his nose twitched as he sniffed the wet scent of the forest floor. “Neteyam…” Attempting to whisper, you were quickly hushed by his hand being raised up in the air and his brief glance that told you to keep silent. Hunting had been one of your most difficult struggles - you weren't much of a hunter and many Na'vi told you not to worry about getting better at it, and instead concentrate on herbology. When the last sun rays kissed the forest and heathland, and when the greens and purples morphed into gray under the eclipse, yeriks went out to forage.

As Neteyam instructed, he kept his tone low, barely moving his lips as he spoke, "Remember, Y/N, bow and arrow are mere tools. You must shoot with the heart." With the last rays of setting sun, his yellowish eyes glistened with focus.

As you nodded, remembering the last time Neteyam took you hunting - because of your careless behavior, the whole yerik flock got spooked and ran before you could strike any targets.

Neteyam stood behind you and made sure you stretched the bowstring sufficiently; soon, his left hand was placed underneath your chest, on your upper tummy; your ears perked as you instinctively drew in some air - when Neteyam was close, especially that dangerously close to you as he was then, you had trouble concentrating.

Neteyam was adept at reading unobvious signs - a little grin glinted across his lips as he kept his composure, not giving you any indication he was aware of the slight change in your behavior.

While supporting your right elbow with his other hand, the oldest Sully brother whispered, "Focus now, Y/N."

Because he had five fingers instead of four, it always made you giggle when he was actually touching you - no exceptions were made this time.

The laughter of yours only lasted for a half-second, but it caused yeriks to stop grazing and look carefully around, turning into attentive mode.

In spite of this, Neteyam did not resign from hunting wild prey. As he moved his head so close to you, only an inch or two separated his lips from your cheek, he whispered directly into your ear, "Y/N, what did I just say?"

Trying desperately to calm your heartbeat, you prayed that he wouldn't feel the heat radiating from your body. “That I need to focus.”

"Focus then," he instructed you, his voice soft as a northern breeze, his tone nothing more than a whisper.

Another brief nod was given by you in response. Using all your strength, you stretched the bowstring as far as you could and aimed for the individual grazing grass on the sidelines. Your focus was the channeling of your spirit, of your true self within, so as you focused you could learn a few things about yourself - for instance, that you could hold your breath long enough to stretch the bowstring to the point where it started to cut into the flesh of your fingers.

“Fire,” Neteyam whispered into your ear.

Your shot was interrupted by another figure approaching, making such a fuss that the entire yerik flock fled.

As Lo'ak crouched against his older brother, inspecting a clump of grass carefully, he tilted his head and looked up at Neteyam, saying, "Mother was looking for you, bro. I won't lie, she was pissed you were out after the eclipse."

Neteyam's response was straightforward, as always - he hit his younger brother's head from behind, lightly enough to not hurt him. "So you've found us, brother. What's wrong with you, though? Didn't you notice we were hunting?"

Lo'ak's shoulder shifted a bit as he spoke, "I observed you for a while, and all I saw was you flirting heavily with our Y/N."

Your cheeks began to flush as you gasped a quiet 'stop’ - turning your head aside to conceal the redness you breathed out deeply.

A snarl of anger was heard from Neteyam as he displayed his teeth at Lo'ak. "Quit it, brother. Let's head home, the last thing I need is for the father to get angry as well."

The younger brother chuckled and poked your ribs with his index finger a little. "How was the hunting? No kills this time as well, huh? Quit trying, Y/N, you're not a hunter. You won't become one because you hang out so much with Neteyam.”

Your ears perked a few times quickly as you hissed at him. "Lo'ak!"

“What?!” Lo'ak leapt nimbly off a rock ledge you and Neteyam were using for vantage point. “Come on, let’s move up!”

You watched the two brothers slowly walk off, smiling gently to yourself - their relationship was so emotional, but despite the fact that they fought easily, it was so beautiful to watch them interact with one another - there was no doubt that they shared a strong fraternal bond. A wooden bow was slung over your shoulder, and you picked up a quiver filled with arrows that you adorned with some leaves and features before joining Sully brothers.

In the dark of night, Lo'ak walked first, leading the way back home. He was always the first one everywhere, always so curious, never satisfied with the status quo, always seeking for something new to discover.

The long steps you took aligned you with Neteyam, who reluctantly followed his brother, holding his bow firmly in hand. As you stared at him, you engaged him in a small conversation, "You seem angry, Net."

As the three of you crossed the large field, a group of resting kentens rose into the sky. This made Neteyam and you stop to marvel at the luminous magenta and purple discs that floated to safety on the branches of an old, nearby tree.

Taking a glance over his shoulder, Neteyam checked to make sure his younger brother was far enough. Putting on his ionar once he was certain, he turned to you. "It's not that," he replied quickly, trying to dismiss the topic.

With your quiver slung over the same shoulder as your bow, you crossed your hands over your chest, giving him a significant glance, the tip of your nose twitching a tad.

“What?” His tail wiggled rapidly.

You touched his chest with your slender fingertips and whispered, "Neteyam, I know you long enough to be sure you harbor anger within you."

Taking a deep breath, Neteyam placed his hand on top of yours that rested on his chest, then placed his other hand on your cheek to caress the smooth surface of your skin. “There was just one thing I hoped for. A few alone moments with you, Y/N."

As you snuggled your cheek into his warm, welcoming palm, you curled your lips into a sweet smile; your eyes never left his. "The plenty of occasion will come, oeyä yawntu," you said, wiggling your tail slowly.

The gaze of Neteyam was intense as he stared down at you. Your smile was the sun, it was the silencing of all the noises, it was both the cage and the ever-wide open door, leading to unknown places. It wasn't long before Neteyam got lost in the depth of your eyes and the warmth of your little grin. “Is your word a promise, yawntutsyìp?”

A slight tilt of your head indicated a nod. “Yes.”

A strong embrace encased your slim figure as Neteyam pulled you closer. After removing his ionar, he lowered his head slowly, resting his forehead gently against yours; his tail danced a bit with yours, wrapping itself around yours from time to time. "I love you, Y/N," he whispered softly.

When you slipped your palm across his chest and rested it against his heart, you replied, "Nga yawne lu oer."

After returning to check on you two, Lo'ak called out, "Guys! Are you two going to stand in the middle of the forest, like idiots, snuggling now? Seriously?”

A low growl escaped Neteyam's lips as he put his ionar back on. “This is none of your business. Get your ass back on the ikran."

"I'm not the one whose shenanigans cause us problems, bro," Lo'ak laughed, but followed his older brother's order.

As Neteyam's ikran spotted him approaching, it roared and wiggled its wings several times, lowering its head to greet his Na'vi.

Ikran's elongated snout was stroked by Neteyam as he jumped on its back, helping you up as well. Neteyam connected his queue to the ikran, and the beast was ready to fly. "Y/N, are you alright?" Neteyam asked softly as he wrapped his arms around your tummy to keep you from falling.

"Yes," you replied shortly. "Let's head home."

Neteyam ordered ikran to take off with a nod.

Before soaring, ikran roared once more, spreading its large wings.

It was fascinating to watch Lo'ak glide smoothly with his ikran in the air. The voice of Neteyam jolted you out of your thinking. “You know what?”

“Hmmm?” You mumbled, holding tightly onto his ikran’s neck.

"The thought of being back home excites me so much."

“Why is that? I thought you sought every opportunity to leave home to taste the adventure and beauty of the world," you questioned as you turned a little to look at him.

“That’s true, indeed. However, the mere thought of snuggling with you to sleep melts my heart," Neteyam replied as he moved his head slightly to kiss your lips. “Don't forget, this is just between us. It is likely Lo'ak would not leave me alone if he knows.”You knew he was right - Lo'ak was the first one to pick on his older brother, and if he only knew Neteyam had a soft side, he wouldn't give up so easily. “Don’t worry, I know.” Your palm rested on his cheek as you kissed his lips once more, a little longer this time. "Oeyä Neteyam, you mean the world to me."

Love was a protector, a defender, a ride-or-die connection that was there for you always and in every way. It had raw power and could roar, but also, you would find comfort in its quietness, if needed. In the end, the real love you were sharing with Neteyam was the greatest blessing Eywa could grant you, and so you chose to cherish it.

Glossary:

yerik - hexapede

kenten - fan lizard

ikran - mountain banshee

ionar - rider’s mask

oeyä yawntu - my beloved

oeyä - my

yawntutsyìp - darling

nga yawne lu oer - I love you

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hayatheauthor · 1 year

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How To Get Away With Murder Part Two: Writing Murder Mysteries

Murder mysteries are possibly one of the most complicated genres in fiction. Unlike other genres, authors need to create a very comprehensive backstory and worldbuilding that seamlessly ties into the present story while also creating intriguing characters that move the plot forward. As an author, you need to weave a complex web of clues, red herrings, and twists that ultimately lead to the big reveal, all while maintaining the integrity of the story.

Writing a good murder mystery is a daunting task, but with the right tools and techniques, you can create a gripping tale that keeps your readers on the edge of their seats. In this blog post, I'll be sharing my personal tips and insights on how to craft a compelling murder mystery that will leave your readers guessing until the very end.

Establish The Rules

Before you jump into your murder mystery it’s important to first set the scene and establish the ‘rules’ for your murder mystery. Your readers need to know what’s at stake here. Who was murdered? What is the most likely reason for their murder? Why is this particular character investigating their murder? You need to set up a clear foundation for your story.

Authors should also attempt to establish some semblance of a ‘stage’ for where the story will take place. If a character was murdered in their hotel room the hotel itself would likely be the ‘stage’ for your book’s murder mystery. This is where the detective will live and uncover clues until the end of the book.

Once you have a clear story and setting, move on to the characters and their role in the murder. Who is the investigative figure? Do they have to face any obstacles or follow certain rules while investigating? A great example of this would be Pip’s legal restrictions in A Good Girl’s Guide To Murder. Her position as a teenager significantly limited her investigative methods.

Plant The Seeds

Foreshadowing is the key to a good murder mystery. You need to start foreshadowing as soon as possible. As a writer, you need to plant subtle clues throughout your narrative that will keep your readers engaged and guessing.

But it's important to strike a balance between too much foreshadowing, which can make the plot predictable, and too little, which can make the conclusion feel like it came out of nowhere. Start foreshadowing early on in your story, and use a mix of subtle hints and more overt clues to keep your readers engaged without giving away the ending. Remember, the best foreshadowing is often invisible until the reader looks back on the story as a whole.

The Repitition Rule

Writers are often advised to repeat foreshadowing at least three times to help readers remember it. While this can be a helpful guideline, it's important to use your own judgment and avoid overdoing it. After all, if you repeat the same clues too often, you risk telegraphing the ending and ruining the suspense.

Instead, aim for a mix of subtle and overt foreshadowing that will keep readers engaged without giving too much away. Remember, the goal is to keep readers guessing until the very end.

Misdirect The Reader

In order to keep readers engaged and invested in the mystery, it's important to misdirect them from time to time. This means leading them down one path only to reveal that it was a dead end, or presenting a red herring that turns out to be unrelated to the actual crime.

There are many ways to accomplish this, from introducing false suspects and motives to using clever misdirection to steer readers away from the truth. One effective technique is to present conflicting evidence that suggests multiple possible solutions, forcing readers to constantly reassess their theories and stay engaged with the story.

However, it's important to avoid overdoing it or making the misdirection too obvious. You want readers to feel challenged and intrigued, not frustrated or misled. Ultimately, the goal is to keep readers guessing until the very end, when all is revealed and the pieces fall into place.

Add Depth To Your Characters

Developing your characters is crucial in murder mysteries. Not only does it make them more interesting and relatable, but it also helps to create a sense of connection and investment in the story. Make sure each character, even minor ones, have a distinct personality and backstory that ties into the plot.

When it comes to suspects, be sure to give each one a clear motive and opportunity to commit the crime. Think about their relationships with the victim and other characters, and how those dynamics could have played a role in the murder. Consider adding red herrings, false leads, and hidden secrets to make the investigation more complex and engaging.

Adding depth to your characters also helps create an emotional connection. This is especially important for the victim, you need to show your readers why they should care about this character’s death.

In A Good Girl’s Guide To Murder everyone’s illtreatment towards Sal’s family made the readers empathetic and had us rooting for Pip. It is important to establish some semblance of this empathy, or any other emotion such as anger, for your victims.

Use The Setting To Your Advantage

In a murder mystery, the setting can play a crucial role in providing clues and red herrings. Think about the location where the murder took place, and how it could provide hints about the killer's identity or motives. Perhaps there's a hidden object or a peculiar feature of the setting that only the killer would know about.

On the other hand, you can also use the setting to throw off the reader's suspicion, by including false clues or misdirections. For example, a character may have a motive to commit the murder in a particular location, but it turns out that they were actually somewhere else at the time. Overall, the setting is a powerful tool that can enhance the suspense and intrigue of a murder mystery, so make sure to use it to your advantage.

In addition to using the setting to provide clues and red herrings, it's also important to use it to create a mood and atmosphere that supports the murder mystery genre. Consider using a dark and moody setting, like a creepy old mansion or a foggy alleyway, to create tension and suspense.

You can also use the setting to create obstacles for your characters to overcome, like a hidden trapdoor. By making the setting a key part of your story, you can enhance the overall experience for your readers and make your murder mystery even more memorable.

Tie Up Loose Ends

Tying up loose ends is an essential part of writing a murder mystery. The reader expects a satisfying conclusion, and that can only happen when all loose ends are resolved. It's important to address any unanswered questions and resolve any plot holes.

Plot holes can be frustrating for readers and can ruin the entire reading experience. As a writer, it's your responsibility to make sure that there are no unresolved issues in your story. If there are any inconsistencies or plot holes, they need to be addressed and resolved.

To ensure that all loose ends are tied up, it's helpful to create a list of all the questions that need to be answered by the end of the story. Go through your manuscript multiple times, checking to make sure that each question is answered and that all loose ends are resolved.

By taking the time to tie up loose ends and address any plot holes, you can create a satisfying conclusion that will leave your readers feeling impressed with your attention to detail.

Practice Makes Perfect

To write a good murder mystery, you need to practice. Writing a successful mystery requires a skill and experience, and you can't expect to get it right the first time. Practice by reading other murder mysteries and taking note of how other authors structure their stories, how they use clues and foreshadowing, and how they misdirect the reader.

When you're writing your own murder mystery, don't be afraid to make mistakes. It's common for writers to encounter plot holes or inconsistencies in their story. The important thing is to recognize these mistakes and fix them as soon as possible. One way to do this is to get feedback from other writers or beta readers.

Remember, the more you practice, the better you'll become. Don't get discouraged if your first attempts aren't perfect. Keep writing, keep learning, and keep honing your craft. Eventually, you'll be able to write a murder mystery that will keep your readers guessing until the very end.

I hope this blog on how to get away with murder and write a murder mystery will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.

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the-modern-typewriter · 16 days

Note

helloo just wanted to know your thoughts on the recent tik tok commentary on “booktok” about how literature is being “ruined because of spicy books” and authors who cater to tropes I definitely see both sides!

Caveat: I don't have tiktok. I don't spend a lot of time on bookstagram either. So while I'm vaguely aware of the discourse, assume I spend most of my time blissfully unaware of everything, under my rock, writing my own little things.

Spicy books:

As with everything, there is nuance to be had. I don't think there is anything wrong with spicy books. There is clearly an audience for them and it's great to have books that recognise this desire! Western society can be weirdly puritan about sex and anything that challenges that get points from me. I've enjoyed the spicy scenes myself when they happen to miraculously meet the very specific vibes I personally like.

However, I also don't think every book needs to or should be pressured to be spicy and I personally get annoyed when I feel like spice replaces adequate plot or character development (which is something I've come across a few times in the last few years). I don't say this in a 'every sex scene must only be there to develop plot/character' way! I say this in a, oh my god, why has the plot stopped for sex in every chapter instead way. In a 'you guys used to have interesting conversations! why are you doing this to me!?' way.

But, you know. I'm not typically the target audience for sex scenes. So I'd just not read another book by an author who did that and let other people enjoy it, if that's what they're looking for. I still feel that there are still plenty of other books in the world I can read.

Tropes:

Tropes have and always will be a tool in writing. It's not new that writers are using them, but I think it's just a trend at the moment to be particularly upfront about them (especially in the romance genre tbh). Specifically, I think this is a marketing trend not a writing trend.

(Does trad publishing like books that are easy to market? Obviously. It's a business.)

I don't inherently mind this, because book marketing is really hard and realistically a lot of people don't stop to engage with original content or long descriptions about original content. Especially not on social media. Tropes are an excellent shorthand for conveying information/vibes, and then people can get more information and decide for themselves if they want to engage with the story.

(In a way, to me this is like when people add 'it's queer!' when they make me a recommendation. Does it make me more likely to go and look at the thing? Yes. Is it the deciding factor on if I actually read/watch/like it. Nope. It's just a quick flag for me to consider it and make my own decision.)

Maybe there are people who are specifically just writing tropes without much more to it...but I haven't really seen it in the books I personally read. At least not any more than the usual.

Some great books I've read this year so far:

The Luminous Dead By Caitlin Starling

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

Rolling in the Deep by Mira Grant

(They are all horror to some degree...I've been on a kick.)

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musicforastylesrestaurant · 7 months

Text

The Masquerade.

fictober masterlist || ask me anything <3

authors note - this was actually one of my favourite concepts to write, i'm not sure why but i think it was because of all the angst that it's filled with...

word count - 10.5k (sheesh…)

in which, your friend drags you along to a high school reunion halloween party, which you one hundred percent do not feel in the mood to attend, but his nagging doesn't hold off, so being the good friend you are, you give into his nagging. a shocking revelation occurs when your ex walks through the door who you as well as everyone else didn’t expect to turn up leading to a confrontation that's nothing but emotional.

trope: exboyfriend!harry

Teaching ten-year-old girls football has been your lifelong dream, a passion that ignited when you were just a child yourself. You remember the sheer joy and exhilaration the sport brought you, until that fateful day when you got tackled and broke your leg at the age of nineteen. That incident left you with an indelible fear of playing again, but it couldn't extinguish your love for the game. So, you decided to channel your passion into a different path - you pursued a degree in football coaching.

Now, as you stand on the field, overseeing a group of eager young girls, you can't help but smile. You see a reflection of your younger self in their bright eyes, full of curiosity and excitement. The thrill of imparting your knowledge and nurturing their love for the sport is immeasurable.

You've learned from your own experience that winning isn't everything. It's about fostering a love for the game and helping these girls develop both as players and as individuals. When they win, your heart swells with pride, knowing you've played a part in their success. But when they face defeat, you're not too harsh on them. Instead, you use those moments as opportunities for growth.

Your training sessions are carefully designed to balance skill-building with fun. You know that at this age, it's essential to keep them engaged and enthusiastic. So, you blend drills and exercises with playful activities that make learning enjoyable. You've seen firsthand how this approach helps the girls not only improve their football skills but also develop teamwork, discipline, and confidence.

As you watch them practice and play, you often reminisce about your own playing days, feeling a pang of nostalgia mixed with pride. Despite your personal setback, you've found a way to stay connected to the sport you love and make a meaningful impact on these young athletes' lives. It's not just about winning or losing; it's about nurturing their passion, teaching them resilience, and giving them the tools to succeed both on and off the field.

You're living your dream, not as a player but as a coach, and the smiles on those girls' faces when they score a goal or make a brilliant pass make every moment, every training session, and every challenge worth it.

As the final whistle blows, you gather the girls into a huddle at the centre of the field, the bright sunlight casting a warm glow around your circle. You can see a mixture of emotions on their faces, some tired but determined, others a bit disappointed, but all eager to hear your thoughts.

You begin with a smile, looking at each of them with pride.

"Alright, team, gather around!" you say, your voice filled with encouragement. "I want you to know how proud I am of each and every one of you out there today. You showed great spirit and determination, and that's what counts."

One of the girls, Sarah, raises her hand eagerly. "Coach, I scored my first goal today! I was so excited!"

You beam at her. "That's fantastic, Sarah! Your goal was brilliant. You showed excellent positioning and a great sense of timing. Keep it up!"

Mia chimes in, "Coach, I made some good passes, didn't I?"

You nod appreciatively. "Absolutely, Mia. Your passes were spot on. You demonstrated great vision on the field, and that's a crucial skill."

As you continue, you make sure to acknowledge the efforts of each player, whether it was a solid defensive play, a remarkable save by the goalkeeper, or simply the teamwork they displayed throughout the game. You want them all to feel valued and recognized for their contributions.

"Team," you say, "remember, winning is great, but it's not the only measure of success. We learn and grow from every game, whether we win or lose. Today, we saw incredible teamwork, and that's something we can always build on."

Sophie, one of the quieter girls, raises her hand tentatively. "Coach, what can we improve on?"

You smile at her eagerness to learn. "Sophie, that's an excellent question. We can work on our passing accuracy and defensive positioning. But remember, it's all part of the journey. We're here to improve together."

The huddle breaks with a round of applause for their efforts, and the girls leave the field with their heads held high.

You finish up with the girls' soccer practice, feeling a sense of fulfilment from a productive day on the field. However, you're also aware of the impending challenge of getting home, thanks to your recent leg injury. You remember that your best friend, Jamie, had promised you a ride, and that brings a sigh of relief.

You spot Jamie leaning against his car, a friendly grin on his face as he watches you approaching. His presence is like a beacon of support. As you get closer, you can't contain your excitement and rush over to him, throwing your arms around him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Jamie!" you exclaim, your voice filled with genuine joy. "It's so good to see you! How was your holiday?"

Jamie returns the hug with enthusiasm, his voice laced with excitement. "Oh, it was amazing! You wouldn't believe the places I got to explore and the food I got to try. But honestly, I've missed you so much!"

You step back from the hug, both of you wearing wide smiles. "I missed you too, buddy. And thanks a million for coming to pick me up. You're a lifesaver."

Jamie chuckles, giving you a playful nudge. "No problem at all, mate. That's what best friends are for, right? Let's get you home comfortably."

As you both hop into the car, the conversation flows effortlessly. You catch up on the latest news, sharing stories and laughter like you always do. The car ride feels like a warm reunion, and you can't help but be grateful for having such a dependable and caring friend like Jamie.

As the car ride continues, Jamie glances over at you with curiosity. "So, what are your plans for tonight?"

You lean back in the comfortable car seat, enjoying the familiarity of the conversation.

"Well," you start, "first things first, I need to head home and have a quick shower. I've been running around with the girls all afternoon, and I must be a bit of a mess."

Jamie chuckles, understanding the need for a post-practice refresh. "Sounds like a plan. And then?"

You smile, thinking about your precious daughter. "After the shower, it's time to drop Lilah off at her dad's place. She's with my sister right now."

Jamie nods, his eyes reflecting empathy. "How's she doing these days?"

You sigh, a mix of emotions flooding over you. "She's growing up so fast, Jamie. Four years old already, and she's as curious and energetic as ever. It's a bit tough juggling everything, but it's all worth it for her."

Delilah Rae (Y/L/N)-Cooper.

When you were twenty five, to celebrate the new year you had gone out with Jamie, his boyfriend as well as your sister, the four of you had gone up London to see the fireworks at the Thames.

That was where you met Levi Cooper.

The two of you spent the night together after both of you had a bit too much to drink at the club, you kept catching each other's eyes from across the rooms, his blue coloured eyes locking onto yours and the rest was history.

The two of you did keep in touch after your impromptu meeting, well you suppose you had to seeing as you were having his baby. The one night you spent together had given the two of you an eighteen year commitment.

He was shocked at first that you were pregnant, but he was nothing but supportive, every prenatal class he was by your side, every scan he was sat at the side of the bed and when your waters broke and you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl he sobbed.

The two of you did try to date, but it just seemed that the two of you were just better at being friends.

He was engaged now to a lovely women named Eloise.

Jamie gives you a supportive pat on the shoulder. "You're an amazing parent, you know that, right?"

You blush a little at the compliment. "Thanks, J. I'm just trying to do my best for her."

As the car ride with Jamie continues, he leans over with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Hey, guess what? The high school reunion is tonight!"

You immediately shake your head with a firm resolve. "No way, Jamie. I'm not going to that."

Jamie raises an eyebrow, feigning surprise. "Oh, come on! It could be a blast. We haven't seen some of those folks in ages!"

You let out a sigh, knowing that Jamie won't easily accept your refusal. "Jamie, there's really no reason for me to go. I've moved on from all that high school drama."

He grins, persistent in his efforts. "But it's a chance to catch up, see where everyone ended up, share stories..."

You shoot him a knowing look. "Jamie, we've got Facebook for that. Besides, I'm perfectly content with my life now."

Jamie continues to plead, "Think of the nostalgia, the old memories..."

You chuckle, shaking your head again. "Nostalgia isn't enough to make me want to relive those awkward teenage years, Jamie."

He's not giving up easily, leaning closer and trying a different approach. "What if I promise to be your wingman all night?"

You raise an eyebrow in mock disbelief. "And what, introduce me to every person there as 'the one who didn't want to come'?"

You arrive home with Jamie, your key poised to open the door. You're eager to see your precious daughter, Delilah, who's been anxiously waiting for your return after her day with your sister. The door swings open, and before you can even step inside, you hear the pattering of little feet.

"Mommy!" Delilah exclaims, her face lighting up with pure joy as she runs straight into your open arms.

You scoop her up, her tiny arms wrapping tightly around your neck, and you pepper her face with a thousand kisses. "Oh, my sweet Lilah-bug, I missed you so much!"

Delilah giggles, her laughter filling the room. "I missed you too, Mommy!"

Jamie watches the heartwarming reunion with a smile, his eyes filled with warmth and happiness.

"Hey, Delilah," he says, crouching down to her level. "I missed you too."

Delilah looks at Jamie with curiosity, her innocent eyes studying him for a moment before breaking into a shy smile. "Hi, JJ!”

As you enjoy the family reunion with Delilah and Jamie, your sister Abigail walks into the room with a warm smile. "Hey, how was your day?"

You return her smile. "It was good, Abi. The footy practice went well, and now I'm just happy to be home."

Abigail looks at Jamie with a playful grin. "And what about you, Jamie? How have you been?"

Jamie chuckles, leaning back in his chair. "Well, it was a lot of travelling, but it's all worth it to spend time with these two."

You nods in agreement, then turns you attention to Delilah. "So, sweetheart, what did you and Auntie Abigail do today?"

Delilah's eyes light up with excitement. "We played in the park, and Auntie Abigail pushed me on the swings really high! It was so much fun!"

Abigail laughs, ruffling Delilah's hair affectionately. "That's right, we had a blast at the park. And afterward, we baked some delicious cookies, didn't we?"

Delilah nods vigorously. "Yep! I helped mix the dough, and we even had chocolate chips in them!"

You all gather in the cosy living room, Delilah on your lap, her blonde curly hair tickling your fingers as you brush through it. Abigail breaks the comfortable silence with a practical question, "So, what time does Lilah need to be at Levi's?"

You glance at your watch and reply, "Half past six should be good."

Jamie, ever the talkative one, chimes in enthusiastically, "Perfect! That works because the reunion starts at seven!"

Abigail's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. " reunion? What are you talking about?"

You roll your eyes playfully at Jamie, thinking he's just teasing. "He's talking rubbish, as usual."

But Jamie jumps in again, this time with a more serious tone. "No, seriously, there's a school reunion tonight."

Abigail looks genuinely surprised. "A school reunion? Why wasn't I informed?"

You sigh, not thrilled with the idea. "Honestly, I'd rather just sit at home and relax."

Abigail, ever the one to push you out of your comfort zone, raises an eyebrow. "Come on, it might be fun! You need a good night out."

You let out a reluctant sigh, knowing your sister's right. "Alright, fine, we'll think about it."

Abigail's eyes twinkle mischievously. "Who knows, you might even rekindle something with a certain someone."

You give her a knowing look, realising exactly who she's referring to. "Abigail, we broke up in high school. It's been ages."

Jamie joins in with a laugh. "You never know, sparks might fly."

In the midst of the bustling high school hallway, you stand at your locker, neatly organising your books for the next class. The sound of lockers slamming and laughter fills the air, creating a lively atmosphere.

Suddenly, you feel two warm arms wrap around your waist from behind, and the familiar scent of Harry Styles' aftershave instantly captures your senses.

With a playful giggle, you turn your head to the side, your eyes meeting his.

"Well, hello there, Mr. Styles," you tease, a hint of a smile playing on your lips.

Harry's emerald green eyes twinkle mischievously as he leans in closer. "Couldn't resist sneaking up on you, m’darlin’. Y’look t’cute sorting y’books."

You blush at the compliment, playfully batting your eyelashes. "Flattery will get you everywhere, you know."

Harry's lips brush against your earlobe as he whispers, "Everywhere, y’say? might have t’take advantage ‘f’that."

You can't help but laugh, your heart swelling with affection for the charming boy who has stolen your heart. "Harry Styles, you're incorrigible."

He grins, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on your cheek. "Only when it comes to you, babe."

/ /

Harry stood in his cosy kitchen, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the air as he watched the snow gently fall outside the window. It had been a while since he'd seen Ellis, his best mate from high school, and he was glad for the company on this chilly day.

They had grabbed coffee together in the morning, before deciding to have a little walk around the twin they both grew up in.

Ellis sipped her own coffee and leaned against the kitchen counter, looking thoughtful. "you remember the school reunion is tonight, right? What time is it starting?"

Harry stirred his coffee, a pensive expression on his face. "Ye’, m’remember. S’supposed t’be at seven, but m’not sure if m’gonna go."

Ellis raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Not going? Why not?"

Harry sighed, his gaze distant as he remembered the old days. "I don't know, El. S’been ages since I've seen those people. M’not sure I'll fit in anymore."

Ellis chuckled, taking another sip of her coffee. "Mate, you're Harry Styles. You could fit in anywhere."

Harry gave a small smile but still seemed uncertain. "S’not about fitting in, really. S’just... v’moved on from that time in m’life, y’know?"

Ellis nodded in understanding. "I get it, Haz. But it could be fun to catch up, see how everyone's doing."

Harry considered his friend's words. "Yeah, maybe. We'll see."

As the snow continued to fall outside, Harry contemplated the idea of attending the high school reunion. It was a chance to reconnect with old friends and revisit memories, but he couldn't help but wonder if he'd truly find his place in a world that had changed so much since those school days.

You sit in your cozy bedroom, the soft glow of natural light filtering in through the curtains, as you prepare to apply your makeup. Your vanity mirror reflects your anticipation, and you're ready to transform your look for the day.

With a steady hand, you pick up your favorite foundation and begin to blend it evenly across your skin, creating a flawless canvas. As you work, you can't help but appreciate the therapeutic rhythm of the makeup application process.

Next, your eyes catch the eyeshadow palette you've chosen for today's look. With precision, you carefully sweep the hues across your eyelids, creating a captivating blend of colors that complements your style.

You reach for your mascara, preparing to enhance your lashes, making your eyes pop and adding a touch of allure to your gaze. Each stroke brings you one step closer to the final result you envision.

A hint of blush adds a healthy flush to your cheeks, while a sweep of your favorite lipstick completes your look. You can't help but smile as you admire the transformation you've achieved, feeling confident and ready to take on the day.

Your boyfriend at the time, is lounging on your bed, wearing nothing but his boxers. It's one of those mornings after he stayed over, and you're getting ready for school, sitting at your vanity and applying makeup.

As you focus on your makeup routine, you can't help but hear Harry huffing behind you. You ignore it at first, thinking it's just one of his playful quirks. But when he huffs again, you can't help but turn and ask, "What's your issue, Harry?"

He shifts on the bed, looking earnestly at you. "Y’don't need makeup, y’know. Y’already beautiful."

You smile, appreciating his sentiment. "Thanks, baby. But makeup just makes me feel better about myself."

He's not willing to let it go, and he comes up behind you, draping his arms over your shoulders and leaning down so both of you are in view of the vanity mirror. "Seriously, y’don't need it. Y’stunning without it."

You meet his gaze in the mirror, his green eyes filled with genuine affection.

He takes a makeup wipe from your vanity, turning your chair around so that you're facing him. With a slow, deliberate motion, he starts wiping away the makeup from your face. His touch is gentle, and his eyes never leave yours.

As the last traces of makeup disappear, he smiles softly. "See, there y’are, just as beautiful as I knew y’be."

You can't help but laugh, appreciating his effort to make you feel special.

He presses a loving kiss to your forehead, his arms still wrapped around you. "And that's why I love you."

Just as you're finishing up, your daughter, with her unruly curls and a cheeky smile that reminds you so much of her father, rushes into the room. She stands at your side, her eyes wide with curiosity.

You scoop her up and place her on your lap, where she traces the outline of your lipstick with her tiny finger before gently tracing the eyeliner around your eyes.

With a tilt of her head, Delilah grins mischievously. "Mummy, you don't need makeup."

Her words strike a chord deep within you, reminding you of a time long ago when a certain someone had said the same thing. A sense of déjà vu washes over you, and you can't help but smile at the memory.

You ask her, "Why do you say that, sweetheart?"

Delilah looks up at you with those big, innocent eyes. "Because you're beautiful."

As Delilah kisses your nose, you can't help but smile at her sweet gesture.

Levi, her father, may not be present at this moment, but you're grateful for the strong co-parenting relationship you have, which allows Delilah to feel loved and secure.

However, as Delilah's innocent words about your beauty echo in your mind, you can't shake the feeling of déjà vu, reminiscent of your first love, Harry Styles. Your heart aches at the memory of the deep connection you once shared with him, even though you're no longer together.

As you make your way down the stairs, Jamie is waiting for you, dressed in a sharp suit and a warm smile.

Jamie had offered to drive you to Levi's, knowing that your heels might not be the best for walking. He greets you with a friendly grin and says, "Looking stunning, as always."

The dress that Jamie had picked out of your closet was an emerald green one that hugged your body in all the right places. You didn’t exactly know what the colour theme for the Masquerade party was, but you trusted your best friend with his decisions.

You chuckle and adjust Delilah in your arms. "Thanks, J. And thanks for the lift. It's much appreciated."

Delilah, clutching her beloved bunny, looks up at Jamie with a bright smile. "Hi, JJ!"

Jamie leans in and ruffles her hair playfully. "Hey DD. Are you ready to have some fun with your dad?"

Delilah nods eagerly, her excitement contagious. You feel a pang of nostalgia thinking about the family dynamics that have evolved over the years.

The three of you leave the front door behind, the night sky gently illuminated by the soft glow of streetlights. You carefully place Delilah in the car seat that Jamie has in his car, a familiar seat from their countless playdates together. Her eyes are droopy, the weight of a busy day finally catching up to her. You press a loving kiss to her forehead before making your way to the passenger front seat.

Jamie takes the wheel, and the car pulls out of the driveway, embarking on the journey to Levi's place. The cityscape passes by in a blur of lights, creating a serene backdrop to the silent drive. The gentle hum of the engine and the occasional soft lullaby playing on the radio are the only sounds that fill the car.

Delilah's eyelids grow heavier with each passing mile, her breathing steady as she drifts into a peaceful slumber. You glance over at her, a feeling of warmth and contentment washing over you as you watch your daughter sleep, knowing that you're on your way to reunite her with her father. The car moves steadily through the quiet night, a soothing rhythm that lulls you into your own thoughts

As Jamie pulls the car to a stop outside Levi's house, you turn to him and explain, "I'll just five minutes. I need to get her sorted."

Jamie nods in understanding, giving you an assuring smile. "Take your time. I'll wait right here."

You unbuckle your sleeping daughter from her car seat, noticing how her head has lulled to the side, and her tiny thumb has found its way to her mouth. Gently, you lift her into your arms, making sure not to jostle her. She snuggles closer to you, still lost in the embrace of a deep slumber.

Carefully, you shut the car door behind you as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb her peaceful rest. With Delilah cradled on your hip, you make your way towards Levi's house,

You stop outside Levi's front door, taking a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. You wait patiently, giving it a minute and a half before the door finally swings open. Levi stands there, leaning against the door frame, a smile of genuine warmth spreading across his face as he sees the two of you.

His eyes light up when he notices Delilah fast asleep in your arms. He reaches out to take her gently, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead. Delilah instinctively snuggles in closer to his neck, her tiny thumb still in her mouth.

Levi, cradling her in his arms, starts to sway his hips back and forth, a nostalgic smile on his face as if she were a baby all over again. He whispers, "Hey, little one, how long have you been asleep?"

You reply with a soft chuckle, "She fell asleep on the car ride over."

Levi continues to sway, his voice filled with tenderness. "Oh, my sweet girl. I've missed you so much."

Levi smiles as he looks at you and compliments your dress, "You look beautiful in that dress. Are you heading somewhere nice tonight?"

You chuckle, knowing that he's well aware of your reluctance. "Jamie's dragging me to a school reunion."

Levi laughs in response. "Ah, I see. Well, you'll survive, I'm sure."

You smile and then turn your attention to Delilah, who's fussing in his arms, shifting her head from one side to the other. Leaning forward, you press a soft kiss to her nose and whisper, "I love you, sweetie."

Looking back at Levi, you speak with genuine concern, "If she needs me or anything happens, don't hesitate to call, okay?"

Levi nods with understanding. "Of course, you know I will. Have a good time tonight, and we'll see you on Sunday when you pick her up."

With that, you reluctantly leave Delilah in Levi's care, trusting that they will have a wonderful weekend together while you attend the reunion with Jamie.

You make your way over to Jamie's waiting car and get inside, letting out a deep sigh as you settle into the seat. You turn to him and say with a hint of resignation, "Let's just get this over with, Jamie. Drive, please."

As the engine revs to life, you brace yourself for the upcoming school reunion, knowing that it's not exactly your idea of a fun evening.

Harry stands outside the school, his eyes fixed on the familiar building that holds a lifetime of memories. As he gazes at the entrance, a million images flood his mind, and they all seem to revolve around you.

He remembers the day he mustered up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, his heart pounding in his chest as he nervously stammered out the question. It was a moment of pure happiness when you said yes, and he couldn't stop grinning for days.

Then, there's that vivid memory of the night he finally confessed his love for you, the words tumbling out of his mouth in a rush, afraid he might lose you if he didn't say it right then. Your eyes had sparkled with joy, and you'd hugged him tightly, saying you loved him too.

But there's also the painful memory, the one he's tried to push to the back of his mind for so long. The day he didn't turn up, the day he walked out of your life, leaving you none the wiser about the future that awaited him. It had been the hardest decision he'd ever made, but he believed it was the only way to chase his dreams.

His best mate, Ellis, notices his distant demeanor and approaches him with concern. She furrows her brows and asks, "Haz, everything okay?"

He takes a deep breath, trying to shake off the weight of nostalgia that has settled upon him. "Do y’think she'll be ‘ere?"

Ellis studies him, her expression a mix of sympathy and uncertainty. "I'm not sure, Haz. She's hardly kept in touch with anyone since you left. She's started a whole new life."

Harry's heart aches at the reality of it all. The years that have passed, the choices he's made – they've all taken a toll on the life he once shared with you. It's a stark reminder of the chasm that has grown between them, and he can't help but feel a profound sense of regret.

As he stands there, Ellis places a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Look, Haz, I know this is tough, but it's been years. People change, life moves on. Maybe it's time for both of you to see where you stand now."

Harry knows she's right, but the uncertainty gnaws at him. The thought of facing you after all this time, not knowing what to expect, fills him with anxiety. He's haunted by the memories of his past decisions – the day he walked away, the day he left you behind, oblivious to the superstar journey that awaited him.

His gaze remains fixed on the school's entrance, a mixture of hope and trepidation swirling within him. Deep down, he yearns for a chance to reconnect, to make amends for the pain he may have caused.

But as the minutes tick by, the fear that you've truly moved on and created a new life without him intensifies. Harry can't help but wonder if he's about to face the consequences of the choices he made long ago – choices that have left him with an overwhelming sense of longing and regret.

A sea of people surrounds him. The reunion is in full swing, and the familiar faces of former classmates and friends fill the courtyard. Laughter and chatter echo in the air, mingling with the strains of music playing softly in the background.

Groups of friends huddle together, sharing stories and reminiscing about their school days. Some are holding photographs, while others exchange yearbooks, a tangible link to their shared past.

Brightly lit string lights and decorations adorn the outdoor area, casting a warm and inviting glow over the gathering. Tables are set up with snacks and drinks, a makeshift bar where people gather to toast to old memories and new beginnings.

A live band plays a familiar tune, setting a nostalgic backdrop for the evening. Couples dance under the moonlit sky, their movements graceful and sentimental, lost in their own world of memories.

Ellis, sensing Harry's inner turmoil, gently asks, "Haz, should we go inside?"

He looks at her, his thoughts still heavy, and nods in agreement. With a deep breath, he reaches for the masquerade mask resting beside him and places it over his face. It's like a protective shield, concealing his emotions as he prepares to face the unknown.

Harry then links his arm with Ellis, who offers him a reassuring smile, and together, they enter the building. The vibrant sounds of the reunion wash over them as they step into the bustling venue, ready to confront the past and whatever it may hold.

The walk to the hall feels endless, each step stretching into an eternity. Harry's heart races in his chest, the rhythm of his breath quickening as his anticipation grows. He can feel a lump forming in his throat, threatening to choke him, but he refuses to let it deter him.

The closer he gets to the entrance, the more he becomes aware of the pounding in his chest, the deafening thud of every heartbeat echoing in his ears. His hands tremble slightly, and he can't shake the unease that courses through his veins.

As he finally steps inside the hall, he's met with a sudden hush that washes over the room like a wave. It feels as though time itself has slowed, and every eye in the room turns toward him. The weight of their collective gaze bears down on him, a silent judgement that's impossible to ignore.

He can sense the curiosity, the recognition in their faces as they try to place him in their memories. It's as if he's stepped into a world that he both longed for and feared, a world that has continued without him.

Harry takes a deep breath, summoning every ounce of courage he has left. The room seems to spin around him, and he wonders if he's made a colossal mistake.

You find yourself standing near the drinks table, a masquerade mask adorning your face, and Jamie by your side. Surprisingly, you're starting to actually enjoy yourself, despite your initial reluctance. The soft music in the background and the lively chatter of old friends create a pleasant ambiance.

You and Jamie are engaged in a friendly conversation, reminiscing about the past. You share a laugh as you recount the time you tried to get out of gym class by telling the teacher you had a sore throat.

"Remember that time I told the gym teacher I had a sore throat, and he said I didn't need my voice to play sports?" You chuckle, shaking your head at the memory.

Jamie grins and nods, "Oh, I remember. Classic move, but it didn't work out too well for you, did it?"

You laugh, taking a sip of your drink. "No, it didn't. Ended up running laps instead."

Amid the lighthearted conversation with Jamie, the hall suddenly falls into a profound silence, prompting you to turn your head and see what has captured everyone's attention. It's as if time stands still in that moment, and your eyes meet a sight that you never expected.

There, bathed in the soft, romantic glow of the hall's lighting, stands your ex-boyfriend, your one true love – Harry Styles.

He's dressed impeccably in a green suit, a masquerade mask adorning his face. The mask conceals his emotions, but his presence is unmistakable, sending a ripple through the room.

Of course the two of you were matching.

You were a vision of elegance in your light grey prom dress. The dress flowed gracefully as you descended the stairs, every step feeling like a small journey towards an unforgettable night.

The anticipation was palpable as you made your way down. You knew it was a night that marked a new chapter, a night of celebration and hope. Your heart was a mixture of excitement and nervousness, a beautiful cocktail of emotions that filled you to the brim.

And then you saw him. Harry, standing at the bottom of the stairs in a perfectly matching light grey suit. Time seemed to slow down as you took in the sight of him, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of joy at the coincidence.

It was as if the universe had conspired to ensure that you and Harry were in perfect harmony. Matching in not just attire but in your hearts as well. The smile that adorned his face when he saw you was a sight to behold, and your heart swelled with affection.

Lydia, your mother, couldn't resist commenting on the adorable match. Her eyes twinkled with amusement as she said, "Well, don't you two look adorable, matching in grey? It's like you were made for each other."

Harry's grin only grew wider as he extended his arm towards you, ready to escort you to the grand event.

"I guess we were," he replied, his voice filled with warmth and love.

As you took his arm, you shared a knowing look, an unspoken agreement that this night was not just about the dresses and suits, but the love that had brought you together.

Your heart leaps in your chest as memories flood back – the stolen glances in the hallways, the laughter shared in the cafeteria, the way he looked at you with that warmth in his eyes that made you feel like the most important person in the world.

You watch as he moves gracefully through the crowd, a confident stride that betrays none of the turmoil that might be lurking beneath the surface. People part to make way for him, their eyes following his every move.

As your eyes remain fixed on Harry's approaching figure, your heart races and your words catch in your throat. You turn to Jamie, your voice trembling as you confide in him, "I knew I shouldn't have come, Jamie. Seeing him… all these feelings have just rushed back, and I'm not sure I can handle being in the same room as him."

Jamie places a reassuring hand on your shoulder and offers a sympathetic smile. "Hey, it's okay. We can leave anytime you want. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

You appreciate his understanding and support, but the turmoil within you is still palpable. The mix of emotions – the longing, the memories, the unresolved feelings – swirls around you, making it difficult to think clearly.

"I appreciate that, J," you reply, your voice steadier but still tinged with uncertainty. "I just need a moment to collect myself. Maybe this is an opportunity to finally confront the past."

With a deep breath, you turn your attention back to the reunion, knowing that you have a decision to make – to stay and face what lies ahead or to leave and continue the life you've built without Harry.

Harry makes his way through the crowd, exchanging pleasantries with a few familiar faces along the way. His heart races as he moves closer to the corner of the room where Ellis stands. Once there, he doesn't waste any time and leans in to speak softly to her, "Do y’see ‘er?"

Ellis follows his gaze, scanning the room before nodding and saying, "Yeah, she's over at the bar with that guy, Jamie, from chemistry."

Harry's breath catches in his throat as he locks eyes with you for a brief moment. The connection is electric, and he can't help but feel a rush of emotions flood back.

He turns his attention back to Ellis, his voice filled with uncertainty. "Do y’think I should go over there and talk t’er?"

Ellis places a comforting hand on his shoulder, offering her advice. "Maybe give it a little time, Harry. Let things settle for a bit. You'll know when the right moment comes."

Harry nods, torn between the desire to reconnect and the fear of making things awkward.

Later in the evening, you find yourself engaged in a lively conversation with an old classmate named Roxy. The two of you are catching up on everything and anything that has happened in your lives since school.

Roxy animatedly shares stories of her career, her travels, and her recent adventures, and you reciprocate by telling her about your journey into football coaching and your beautiful daughter, Delilah.

The camaraderie and laughter flow freely as you reminisce about the antics you got up to during your school days, and you can't help but appreciate the sense of nostalgia that hangs in the air. It's moments like these that make you realize the value of rekindling old friendships and sharing the experiences that have shaped your lives.

You excuse yourself from the conversation with Roxy, telling her that you're just going to the toilet. Inside, the bathroom is a haven of solitude amidst the bustling reunion. You attend to your business, the silence offering a brief respite from the whirlwind of emotions outside.

As you step out of the bathroom and start to make your way back, lost in your thoughts, you collide with something firm and unyielding. Your heart leaps to your throat as you look up, only to be met with a pair of familiar green eyes that you've missed deeply yet haven't at all. It's the man who still owns your heart, Harry Styles.

The world seems to stop around you as you lock eyes with him, the years of separation and unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. It's an encounter that leaves you feeling both awkward and full of angst, a moment you never thought you'd have to confront, and one that could change everything.

And as you stand there, face to face with Harry, you can't help but wonder if this unexpected collision is a twist of fate, a chance to finally address the feelings that have remained unresolved for so long.

You shuffled past Harry, your heart pounding in your chest, the encounter outside the bathroom sending waves of uncertainty through you. It was as if time had reversed, and the emotions you had tried to tuck away came rushing back.

As you walked away from him, you couldn't bring yourself to look back. The weight of the past and the complexities of your emotions left you feeling conflicted and vulnerable. You knew that seeing Harry again was going to stir up old feelings, but you hadn't anticipated how intense it would be.

Harry stood there, watching you walk away, his heart heavy with disappointment. He had hoped for a warm greeting, a chance to talk and maybe find some closure, but the way you had avoided looking at him stung. It was as if he didn't even exist in your world, and that thought was more painful than he had imagined.

He let out a sigh, running a trembling hand through his hair as he tried to collect his thoughts. It was difficult for him to comprehend that you could just walk away without acknowledging him, without even a brief exchange of words. The reunion had been his chance to reconnect, to possibly mend what had been broken, but it seemed like that opportunity had slipped away.

In a mix of emotions and frustration, Harry decided to step into the men's bathroom, leaning against the sink for a moment. He tried to process the anguish he felt at your avoidance, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you might still want to talk and make sense of the unresolved feelings that lingered between you.

You hurriedly returned to the bar, your heart still racing from the encounter with Harry. The vodka you ordered was a lifeline, a familiar friend that would help you navigate the unexpected twists of the night.

The bartender, efficient and understanding, prepared your drink without a word. As he handed it to you, you offered a curt nod of gratitude and took a long, fortifying sip. The strong, bittersweet taste provided a momentary reprieve from the turmoil of emotions that had surged within you.

In the midst of your solitude at the bar, Ellis, a former classmate, approached with a soft, friendly smile. You acknowledged her with a tight-lipped expression, your eyes conveying a mixture of apprehension and fatigue. The reunion had thrust you into a whirlwind of nostalgia, and now, the complexity of your feelings threatened to overwhelm you.

Ellis, eager to bridge the gap, tried to initiate a conversation. "How have you been?" she asked, her voice gentle and empathetic.

You hesitated for a brief moment, the question prompting a whirlwind of thoughts. How could you summarize the years that had passed, the heartache, the joy, the transformation of your life, all in one sentence?

Finally, you responded, "Life's been alright." It was a carefully worded answer, a guarded response that didn't reveal the depths of emotion and experience you'd encountered.

The conversation seemed to stumble into an awkward silence, the weight of the past and the unresolved emotions hanging heavily between you. You took another sip of your vodka, the familiar warmth spreading through your body, offering a temporary refuge from the discomfort of the moment.

Ellis, perceptive and caring, couldn't help but sense the underlying bitterness in your tone. She leaned in closer, her expression filled with concern, and admitted, "I know Harry feels really guilty about leaving you."

Your response was laced with bitterness.

"Yeah, I bet he does," you sighed, the memories of the past and the heartache still very much alive in your mind.

Ellis tapped her nails lightly against the bar, deep in thought.

"Maybe you should talk to him, let him explain everything," she suggested, her words gentle yet persuasive. "You might find some closure, or who knows, even rekindle what once was."

You let out a sceptical chuckle, your eyes scanning the room, but your thoughts lingering on the man you'd tried so hard to forget.

"Why should I?" you questioned, the weight of years of unanswered questions heavy on your heart.

Ellis's voice was soothing and earnest as she continued, "Because, deep down, I know for a fact that the two of you still have feelings for each other. Sometimes, facing the past is the only way to move forward."

The idea of confronting Harry and revisiting the emotions you'd buried felt both daunting and enticing.

You were seated at your desk in math class. The room was filled with the usual chatter, but your focus was on something entirely different. Your crush, seated a few rows ahead, had a way of capturing your attention.

Every time you glanced in his direction, you seemed to catch his gaze, and your heart fluttered. You felt a rush of excitement mixed with a tinge of nervousness. Math class was suddenly a lot more interesting.

Beside you sat Ellis, who happened to be your crush's best friend. She observed your interactions with a knowing smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes. She leaned over and whispered, "You know, I don't get why the two of you just don't admit your feelings."

You blushed, surprised by her comment.

"What? I don't even think he likes me like that," you admitted, trying to downplay your infatuation.

Ellis shook her head with a chuckle. "Trust me, he does. I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not looking. You're both just too stubborn to admit it."

You finished the last of your vodka just as the DJ's voice filled the air, announcing the start of the slow dance. The music shifted into a gentle melody, setting a romantic ambiance that enveloped the room.

As you looked around, you noticed the eager faces of the reunion attendees, everyone seeking out a partner for the dance. Friends and acquaintances paired up, swaying to the music, but you couldn't help but notice that no one approached Harry. It was as if they were all a bit intimidated by his presence, the weight of his fame making him an enigma to most.

Harry stood in the corner, a lone figure amidst the couples on the dance floor. There was a vulnerability in his expression that was rarely seen, a hint of longing that was both endearing and bittersweet. It was clear that he was just as much a part of the reunion as anyone else, yet he remained untouched, like a distant star in the night sky.

With a deep sigh and a final adjustment of your clammy hands against your dress, you made a resolute decision. The pull toward Harry was undeniable, and you couldn't ignore the feeling any longer. It was time to face what had been left unresolved for far too long.

You began to navigate the room, and at first, he remained oblivious to your approach. It wasn't until you stopped right in front of him that he looked up, a bewildered expression in his eyes. In his gaze, you sensed surprise, almost disbelief, as if he had convinced himself that you didn't want to be near him.

You held your hand out, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of your lips, and said, "Want to be my dance partner? I think it's time we talked."

The words hung in the air, laden with unspoken emotions and the weight of the past. Harry's surprise slowly gave way to a flicker of hope, his eyes meeting yours as he contemplated your offer.

You took Harry's hand and gently guided him to the dance floor, the anticipation and uncertainty palpable in the air. As the music started to play, a soft, melodic tune that filled the room, you both hesitated before finally finding your place on the floor.

Hesitantly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingertips grazing the soft hairs at the nape. Harry reciprocated by placing his hands on your waist, his touch light and tentative. The proximity felt both foreign and familiar, and you started swaying to the music, finding a rhythm that was uniquely your own.

The silence between you was awkward, filled with words left unsaid, emotions unexpressed. It was as if the weight of the years apart, the unanswered questions, and the unspoken feelings had manifested in this dance.

You couldn't help but steal glances at each other, each fleeting look revealing a complex mix of emotions—nostalgia, longing, and a hint of uncertainty.

The two of you swayed to the music in the awkward embrace of the slow dance, caught in a moment that had been a decade in the making. As the silence grew more uncomfortable, Harry finally broke it, his voice carrying the weight of their shared history.

"How have you been?" he asked, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for a glimpse of the girl he used to know.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much to reveal.

"Life's been fine," you replied, the words feeling both superficial and loaded with unspoken complexities.

Feeling the tension in the air, you decided to shift the focus.

"And how's it living the life of a rockstar?" you asked, trying to break through the awkwardness. It was a loaded question, but one that seemed safe enough.

Harry's expression tightened, as if he were choosing his words carefully. "S’a lot. Busy, y’know. But s’what I've always wanted."

As you pressed Harry for answers, the weight of the past seemed to hang in the air.

"Why did you leave, Harry?" you asked, your voice filled with a mix of curiosity and pain. "You didn't say anything. You just disappeared."

Harry sighed, and as he met your gaze, his eyes held a hint of regret.

"M’didn't want t’hurt ye’," he confessed, his voice low and sincere.

The words hit you with a mix of emotions.

"You didn't want to hurt me?" you repeated, the realisation sinking in.

Just as he seemed about to elaborate, your phone rang, displaying Levi's name on the screen.

The phone call from Levi seemed to have come at an inopportune moment, breaking the fragile conversation between you and Harry. With a sigh, you held up a finger as if to say, "I need to take this." You turned and walked away from the slow dance, your steps guided by the beckoning ring of your phone.

As you distanced yourself from Harry and the dance floor, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of relief and disappointment. The unanswered questions and unspoken feelings lingered between you, a weight you had carried for far too long.

In the crowd, Harry caught Jamie's eyes, and their silent exchange was filled with unspoken understanding. Jamie nodded in the direction you had left, mouthing the words,

"Go after her." The silent encouragement was a reminder that some things were worth pursuing, even after a decade of silence and distance.

As you stepped outside the venue to take the call, your heart raced with concern. You quickly answered the phone, bringing it up to your ear, and without preamble, you asked, "Is everything okay with Delilah?"

Levi's voice came through the line, reassuring but tinged with understanding. "Yeah, she's fine. She woke up just now and started crying because she didn't get to speak to you before bed."

A sigh of relief escaped your lips, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. "I'm so sorry, Levi. Put her on the phone. I need to talk to her."

The phone was passed to Delilah, and her voice, small and tearful, reached your ear. "Mummy?"

Your heart ached as you replied, "Hey, sweetheart. I'm here. I'm sorry I missed our bedtime chat. I love you so much."

Delilah's voice was still laced with sleepiness and a touch of uncertainty. "Love you too, Mummy. When are you coming back?"

You glanced back at the venue, where the reunion was still in full swing, and then back to the dark knight beyond. The choice you were about to make felt significant, not just for yourself but for your daughter as well. "I'll be back soon, baby. I promise. You be good for daddy, okay?"

As you finished your conversation with Delilah, ending with an "I love you," you hung up the phone and took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your choices bearing down on you. The brisk night air provided a welcome contrast to the warm and crowded venue behind you.

Just then, Harry walked outside, and the timing was uncanny. He caught the tail end of your call, hearing your affectionate words to whoever was on the phone. A wave of mixed emotions washed over him. He thought he had missed his chance, that you had moved on with your life and no longer needed him.

Turning around, you were startled to find Harry standing there in the shadows. His sudden appearance caught you off guard, and you let out a little jump in surprise.

Harry, concern etched across his features, asked, "S’everything alright? Y’looked panicked when y’saw y’phone."

You quickly collected yourself, offering a reassuring smile. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just needed to answer it without the loud music," you explained, hoping to quell any worries.

Harry, seemingly relieved, asked, "Was that y’boyfriend?"

With a sigh, you shook your head. "No, not my boyfriend. It was my daughter."

The silence that followed was heavy, and Harry's eyes widened in realisation.

You were sprawled out in Harry's garden, a patchwork of the evening sky painted with shades of deep blue and a tapestry of stars, twinkling like a thousand distant dreams. The soft scent of flowers and freshly mowed grass wafted through the air, blending with the comforting scent of Harry's cologne.

As you lay in his arms, cocooned in the embrace of young love, the world beyond seemed to melt away, leaving just the two of you and the vast expanse of the night. The grass cradled your bodies like a feathered mattress, a canvas for the dreams that flowed freely.

Amidst this tranquil backdrop, Harry's voice broke the tranquil silence.

"Do y’ever want t’ave kids?" he asked, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your arm. His words were like a gentle breeze, laden with curiosity and the promise of an uncertain future.

You turned your head to look at him, your eyes meeting him in the dim light. A smile graced your lips as you replied,

"Yeah, I'd love to have kids someday. Especially our kids." The words tumbled out with an ease that only young love could inspire, a declaration of your shared hopes and dreams.

Harry's heart skipped a beat, and he kissed your forehead, his warm breath mingling with the cool night air.

"Our kids," he repeated softly, his voice filled with promise and the intoxicating scent of first love. In that moment, under the canvas of a starlit sky, you both painted a picture of a future filled with shared adventures and laughter, not yet aware of the challenges and heartaches that lay ahead.

You lay there, sharing your dreams and aspirations, your hearts intertwined like the constellations above.

Harry looked at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"Y’ave a daughter?" he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

You nodded, the weight of the past and present pressing heavily upon you.

"Yeah," you replied, your voice thick with emotion. "She's four."

The question hung in the air, heavy and unresolved. Harry's voice broke the silence, asking, "Are y’with the dad?"

Your eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and frustration. You looked at him with a hurt expression before saying, "Is that all you care about? Whether I'm with her dad or not?"

Harry, seemingly flustered, quickly responded, "No, f’course not."

The anger and hurt simmered beneath the surface as you shook your head, the words pouring out with the force of years of unspoken resentment. "You lost the right to care about who I'm with or my life a long time ago when you up and left. You didn't even deserve to know that I had a daughter."

Harry's face contorted with regret as your words hit him like a tidal wave. The argument had grown intense, and the emotions that had been suppressed for years were now surging to the surface.

He took a step closer to you, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he finally said, "M’sorry."

Your eyes met his, but the anger still smoldered within you.

"Sorry isn't going to change anything," you retorted, your voice laced with frustration and pain.

As he began to speak, his voice wavered with raw emotion.

"M’sorry that I left ye," he admitted, his words tinged with guilt and sorrow. "But I knew f’a fact that y’wouldn't want t’live the life with a rockstar, a life where y’hardly see me."

Your confusion and worry grew as you stood on Harry's doorstep, knocking anxiously.

When Harry's mother answered the door, her expression was sombre. You immediately asked, "Where's Harry? He was supposed to meet me today."

His mother hesitated for a moment before delivering the news that would shatter your world. "Harry didn't tell you? He's left, dear. He left early this morning to head to London."

You blinked, struggling to comprehend the reality of the situation.

"But when will he be back?" you implored, your voice trembling.

His mother's gaze remained sympathetic, but her words were final. "He won't be coming back, love. He's a part of One Direction now, and their tours are about to begin."

You knew he was part of the band, you had gone to a few live shows and even looked after him after the band finished in Third, when all he wanted was you.

He never told you about a tour, about anything, although you noticed that he was on his phone quite a lot, you just thought he was playing that stupid game.

But you must have been wrong.

You couldn't believe what you were hearing, and the initial shock gave way to a growing sense of despair.

"Why didn't he tell me?" you managed to stammer out, your voice cracking as you tried to understand.

You had thought your relationship was built on trust and communication.

His mother's sympathetic gaze only deepened the emotional turmoil you were experiencing.

"I think he didn't want to hurt you," she offered gently. "This opportunity means a lot to him."

Too late for that.

Your mind raced with a million questions. How had everything changed so suddenly? What would this mean for your future together? You couldn't imagine life without Harry by your side.

"He's been practising with the band for weeks now," Harry's mother continued, "and their tours are about to begin. It's a big chance for him, and he didn't want to hold himself back."

Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of sorrow, confusion, and frustration. You had never expected this turn of events, and the sense of abandonment was overwhelming.

The weight of his confession hung heavy in the air. Harry continued, his gaze locked onto yours,

"T’band was just starting out, and I knew I'd be on the road, seeing y’less and less. I didn't want t’hurt ye."

The argument, once fueled by anger, seemed to transform into a tumultuous sea of emotions. Your heart ached as you listened to his words, realizing that he had walked away not out of indifference, but out of love—or what he had believed was love.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you heard Harry's confession, the raw emotion in his voice cutting through the anger and resentment that had fueled your argument. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice, and replied, "I didn't get to choose what life I wanted to live. I wanted to be with you, but you made that choice for me."

Harry's eyes glistened with remorse as he implored, "I wanted t’protect ye’ t’keep y’from a life that would hurt ye."

Your voice trembled as you spoke, the tears now flowing freely.

"The only life I wanted to live was one with you, but then you up and left me, our relationship," you said, your voice breaking as you confronted the years of pain that had been buried deep within.

Harry's response was a whisper of regret. "When I auditioned, y’had t’walk out halfway through because y’didn't do well in the crowd."

At this, your emotions spiraled, and you couldn't contain the rush of memories and feelings that overwhelmed you. You cried as you defended yourself and the relationship you had once cherished. "I was scared, Harry, scared of the expectations, of the distance, but I still loved you. I didn't want to let you down, but you walked out on us, on me."

The weight of all the years of heartache and misunderstandings became too much to bear, and you started to sob uncontrollably. The tears flowed freely, and your body shook with the intensity of your emotions.

Without hesitation, Harry wrapped his arms around you, drawing you close, his chest becoming a sanctuary for your broken heart. His voice, gentle and soothing, whispered into your ear, "M’so sorry, m’love. I'll spend the rest f’m’life making it up t’you."

Amidst the tears and the weight of unspoken words, your voice quivered as you finally found the strength to speak.

"Harry, you don't understand how hard it was...how hard it still is," you confessed, your words choked with emotion. "You were my everything, and you just left without even a word."

Harry's grip tightened, and his voice was filled with a deep sense of remorse. "I know, and I can't change the past, but I want t’make things right, t’be there f’ye."

You paused for a moment, looking up at him, your eyes red and swollen. "It's not just about me, Harry. I've moved on, and I have a daughter now. You just can't come back into my life like this."

His voice was filled with sincerity as he replied, "I understand. I'll do whatever it takes t’earn y’forgiveness and be a part f’y’life again."

The weight of the years hung heavy in the air, but as you held each other amidst the tears and the apologies, there was a glimmer of hope that perhaps, with time and effort, wounds could heal and a new chapter could begin.

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nanowrimo · 7 months

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How to Choose the Right Story Idea

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Scrivener, a 2023 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is an award-winning writing app containing all the tools you need to get writing and keep writing. They’ve teamed up with S J Watson, bestselling author of Before I Go To Sleep, to get some tips on deciding if your story idea is a good one.

If you’re writing fiction, the thing that must come first is the idea. Without that we have nothing. But what are ideas; how do we get them; and crucially, how can we choose which ones are good enough to sustain a long piece of fiction?

These are big questions, so let’s consider them here.

What is an Idea?

I came across two interesting dictionary definitions of what an idea is:

Something such as a thought or conception that is the product of mental activity; and

A sense that something can happen, a notion or expectation.

The seeds of ideas are everywhere. Everything we see, hear, read or watch can spark a thought, and we need to remain alert to those sparks, as some might become useful ideas. But being alert is not enough. Rarely do ideas arrive fully formed. Usually we have to actively work on promising nuggets in order to turn them into gold. We can’t just sit around and wait for the lightning bolt to strike.

Instead, get used to actively, and playfully, interrogating your daily musings. Ask yourself questions. ‘I wonder what would happen if…’ or, ‘Why did that person just..?’ etc. Don’t censor yourself. Let your mind take you to wild and fanciful places. You can always reign it back in later. Fill your notebook.

Choosing an idea to work on

Not all ideas are created equal. So how do we choose? Look at the second definition above. Some ideas seem exciting at first but they’re limited. It’s hard to see how they can lead to interesting characters and high-stakes conflict. Others invite you into a world brimming with possibilities. They seem to open doors. These are the ones to work on.

The best, most fertile ideas, are magnetic. They grow by attracting other ideas to them. You’ll notice connections, and find yourself asking ‘What if..?’ and ‘I wonder why..?’ more and more. When this happens, you know you’re on to something, but at this point it can still help to ask yourself some questions.

First, which ideas excite you? Are there any that you can’t quite believe no one else has written? If so, go for it! If not, then perhaps proceed more cautiously. Don’t reject them outright, necessarily. Maybe you just need an extra ingredient or two. Give it time and wait until you do get that glimmer of excitement.

Next, can you see a protagonist with a goal and obstacles that stand in their way? If not, maybe you have an idea for a situation, but not an actual novel. ‘What if a totalitarian regime came to power?’ is not an idea for a story, but ‘What if two people fall in love in a world governed by a regime that has outlawed romantic attachment?’ is. Again, keep going, stir the pot until you can come up with characters and conflict.

Also ask, are the stakes high enough to maintain a reader’s interest, and if not can they be raised? Are their problems, if not universal, then at least relatable? A professor searching for the key to immortality is one thing, but a professor searching for the key to immortality because his wife is dying is suddenly something else. Keep going until you feel that tug of universality.

Finally, does your idea seem original? This is important, but beware! Almost everything has been done before, the key is how you combine ideas and what you do with them. Don’t reject every idea that is reminiscent of something else, but instead look for how you’re going to make it your own.

In short, daydream, be playful with your thoughts and observations, and sooner or later something will come along that seems on fire with possibility. Congratulations! Now the hard work starts…

SJ Watson is author of Before I Go To Sleep, which was turned into a film starring Nicole Kidman. He has since published two further psychological thrillers, Second Life and Final Cut, and has set up The Writers’ Lodge, which aims to help and support writers at every stage of their creative writing journey. S J Watson recently launched a public novel writing project called The Experiment. He writes using Scrivener.

All NaNoWriMo participants receive 20% off Scrivener for macOS and Windows from now until December 7, 2023, with the code NANOWRIMO23 .

Top photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash.

#nanowrimo #writing ideas #story ideas #writing #writing advice #by nano sponsor #scrivener #sj watson

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moodymisty · 10 months

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Hiya! Could you possibly write headcanons with Crosshair,Hunter,Echo,Wrecker and Tech with a GN!S/O that suddenly faints one day out of nowhere?The reason for their collapse can be up to you. 💖

Author's note: Hello there! I decided to keep the reasoning relatively vague just for ease of reading, so I hope you still enjoy :3

Relationships: Crosshair/Gn!Reader, Hunter/Gn!Reader, Tech/Gn!Reader, Wrecker/Gn!Reader, Echo/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None really

✦ Tech ✦

Tech has noticed over the time that you've known him that you have a tendency to get lightheaded- be it from missing a meal or from any other reason he doesn't know.

It still catches him off guard however when one day while working on the ship you suddenly faint right over, Tech sending his tools clattering to the ground as he quickly moves to catch you.

Thankfully his strength helps him as he snatches you by the waist.

He sits you down on the ground and while he's worried, of course, Tech is able to compartmentalize and make sure to actually help you instead of just worrying.

When you soon after get up and ask him what happened and why he looks like he saw a ghost, he tells you that you fell right over, but thankfully he caught you before you ended up hitting your head.

'Do you feel disoriented still at all? Please don't lie, I'm rather worried.'

Tech keeps a close eye on you but is also soothing his mind by doing some research, as to make sure he'll be much more prepared that he was now in the future. Just in case.

✦ Hunter ✦

Hunter is a giant armored mass of stress.

He wasn't actually in your presence when you'd fainted, but he did end up getting a comm saying you had fallen, and he swears there hasn't been a time he raced back to the Marauder so fast.

By the time he got there you were already awake, sitting in the co-pilot's seat and shaking your head as you try to get your bearings.

You have a drink in your hand and you smile up at him, but he can hear your breathing and heart rate still sound a little bit off for his liking. He insists that you lay down and at least take it easy, at minimum.

When you do, as if isn't really an option judging by his very stern 'superiority' voice, he hovers around constantly making sure you're still ok.

His ears keep on pricking to your heartbeat, and if he hears it even slightly off, he makes sure to take a glance in your direction.

When you try and get him to bugger off, Hunter refuses.

'You scared the hell outta me; I'm not gonna just quit it.'

He inquires to Tech about it but doesn't really end up with anything conclusive, so he very hesitantly decides it was just a fluke.

Needless to say he continues to hover and fuss over you the rest of the day, even going so far as to break his own rule of sleeping in separate bunks in order to keep close. He tries to keep a bit of decorum even though the Batch all obviously know the two of you are close, but he'll let it slide this time.

✦ Wrecker ✦

You often times joke around with Wrecker, so when you'd fainted for a split second he'd thought you were pulling a joke; And he easily caught you as you fell into him.

Very quickly however he realized you passed right out and quickly picks you up and takes you to the first person he had in mind; Which of course was Tech.

You're beginning to wake up just as Tech begins to look you over much to Wrecker's relief, and he doesn't have to fill you in on much.

'Phew, I'm just glad you're ok. You really scared me for a second there.'

He does however instantly begin bugging Tech about it much to his dismay, even if you try and insist Wrecker he quit it.

You know what caused it and make sure to fill him in, even if just so to save Tech from being lambasted.

He's just as fussy as Hunter would be, so you have trouble getting a worried Wrecker off of your back for the rest of the day, despite reassuring him many, many times that you're fine.

In the future Wrecker always keeps a keen eye on you if you ever look a little more sluggish than usual, cautious to never have a repeat of that again.

He'd first and foremost never want you to faint like that again, but if you do, he wants to be there to catch you.

✦ Crosshair ✦

You actually end up fainting onto Crosshair, during a post mission sit down.

He was cleaning his rifle and you were munching on some spare rations as a snack, when you'd suddenly flopped right onto his shoulder. He gently tried to push you off, joking in his usual snarky way that you were suffocating him, until he noticed you were out cold.

Making sure you don't fall over he quickly tries to wake you up, even going so far as to asking one of his brothers for help.

But when you wake up you're now laying on his bunk, rubbing your forehead and moving to get up. Crosshair quickly pounces, watching you and making sure you don't pull a 'dumb move' and try to get up right away.

'What the kriff was that? You freaked us all out.'

You explain that it isn't the first time you've fainted like that, and probably won't be the last; As you were honestly surprised it had taken this long to happen.

Crosshair's nose wrinkles as he snips at you for not warning them sooner, though it's obvious it was because he was worried, than any of his brothers.

✦ Echo ✦

Echo remembers vaguely of a time when one of his 501st brothers had passed out before, but anything learned from that instance is almost instantly out the window when you end up fainting.

When you wake up, he gets up from where he was sitting on a supply crate right beside you, he must've moved it closer to have a place to sit and wait, and begins asking questions.

'Hey, hey? You good? You weren't lookin' too good then you fell over... You sure you're alright?'

Echo doesn't worry too much, as he tries to remain level headed while you get your bearings back. Not much good happens where you're panicking, he thinks.

He is the first one to suggest that maybe you go see the medic, just to make sure there isn't anything going on.

No matter if you do or not Echo is right there, keeping a careful eye on you.

'Just don't go scaring me like that again. I've had enough heart racer moments like that for a few lifetimes.'

#the bad batch crosshair x reader #the bad batch hunter x reader #the bad batch tech x reader #the bad batch wrecker x reader #the bad batch echo x reader #the bad batch x reader #tbb x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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hollytanaka · 10 months

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COD FIC WRITERS: DON'T SEND TRIGGERING, SEXUALLY VIOLENT CONTENT TO PEOPLE'S DMS JUST BECAUSE THEY DISLIKE YOUR WORK

when you send people unsolicited content depicting rape—do you fuckers ever consider that some of us have actually experienced sexual harassment, abuse, and assault?

On here, I speak out against my dislike for non-con fantasies or depictions of violent shit, like gang bangs, in fanfictions because those acts of violence have ruined so many women’s lives. And it disgusts me to see people treat rape as a plot device or literary tool, and nothing less.

Yet I have people sliding into my DMs taunting me with rape fanfictions that they write, without ever bothering to ask, “hm, maybe this person who dislikes depictions of rape is not comfortable with this triggering content? maybe it's something they have personal experience with?”

Just because a few days ago I said in a post that no authors were even tagged or mentioned in that I didn't understand why every masked man had to be portrayed as violent stalkers/rapists in our fanfic ecosystem, I had this happen to me.

Here's (@ns-imagines) a fanfic writer who writes for COD sending a rape/non-con fic of Nikto straight to my inbox in a taunting meme format.

Was this done out of joking benevolence and edgy lightheartedness? No. It was done knowing that women have so many valid reasons to feel uncomfortable with depictions of rape, knowing this, and still choosing to send triggering material to them out of spite.

We didn’t need proof that some of you fanfic writers don’t care about victims of sexual violence and assault, and will silence their voices so that your writing hobbies can continue in an echo chamber. But outright indiscriminately sending triggering material that depicts rape to people who said they didn’t like your work is some other level of fucked up.

The author who DMed me even invalidated how much I found rape disturbing by saying “well there’s worse rape fics on here” and saying that I’m too sensitive to be on tumblr. Imagine telling someone with any kind of past of sexual violence, that they’re too sensitive for the internet instead of considering why you’re taunting them in the first place. See below.

Many of y'all claim to be feminists and to care about hearing women and victims' voices, but the one moment someone dislikes your fictional romanticization of sexual violence toward women—you send her triggering material. It shows how immature but also how sick, cruel, hypocritcal and fucking pathetic you people are.

(credit to @collinnmckinley for the very suiting gif)

#call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley #cod nikto #nikto #John price #I’m tagging all of y’all #this fandom is disgusting #simon riley x reader #nikto x reader #john price x reader #könig x reader #cod discourse

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glassrowboat · 4 months

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Red Ribbon. Chiori.

Summary: A not so peaceful morning with your girlfriend. Well, not when you're up to mischief anyway.

Word count: 900+

Authors note: The start of a small series I'm going to write of the seven colors of the rainbow in ribbons with some of our genshin faves! Also, a slight spoiler for Chiori's kit.

The small shop was always such a cozy place to huddle up in, the one specific chair that had been covered in loose scraps of cut out fabric currently occupied with your figure as you fiddle with a spool of something or another. Pretty red ribbon right under your fingers as Chiori slowly walks around the pinup body adorned with a dress.

The click of those overly complicated heels filled the room as you watched Chiori circle around the mannequin in the center of the room, its fabric body adorned in layers of cloth. Another commision she was working on no doubt as she snipped a loose thread. Precise as possible, that is until she tries to toss it over at you.

The string falling on the ground between you two. Apparently it was your fault you had become her designated place to pile scraps after you took the chair she would usually use for such a task. Red ribbon being wrapped around your finger and undone again and again mindlessly as you watched her.

“Now where did I put that?” Talking to herself again, a habit she would never openly admit to, Chiori pat down the apron she had on that held her tools. “(Y/n) have you seen-”

“This?” Holding up the spool of ribbon you had been playing with a smile easily crossed your features, even as her eyes narrowed. “No, I haven't.”

“Then you have no issue giving it to me.” Walking over to you Chiori tried to snatch the item in your hand, her sleeves rustling from the action as they flowed behind her. You never got how those kimono sleeves didn't get in her way all the time but she always pulled it off somehow. Good for her.

That however wasn't enough of a reason to give in as you climbed up further on the chair, feet pushing against the cushion as you stood up from your curled up position, knees no longer pushed up against your chest as you held her prize high in the air.

Hopefully she doesn't deem this offense enough of one to use her visions abilities. Stupid teleportation abilities.

“If I recall correctly, taking possession of another's items could be considered a crime. Would you truly really want me to take you to court over this, (Y/n)?” A flick of her dress, those same sleeves billowing in the wind as she crossed her arms. Oh she was so cute when she tried to look mad.

Deciding to play along you held the ribbon up higher, making sure it was above even your head. “Well, when I go down to the Fortress of Meropide should I come back with a fit rate of the Guards uniforms?”

Wait, is she actually considering it? Head tilting, pretty brown hair shifting over her shoulder as Chiori stood in silence before softly shaking the thought off. “Just give me the ribbon back.”

Huh, this must be for a commission if she's being such a little stickler. Not that that would lessen your need for a bit of mischief. As they say, breaks are healthy. “How about a deal?”

“A deal for my own possessions?”

What's a synonym for stickler again? Hypercritic, perfectionist, nitpicker.

“Don't make it sound like that.” Even if it is true. “Come on pretty, a kiss is all I want and then I'll give it back. Please?”

A small sigh could be heard as she glanced back between her prize and you. Red ribbon tickling at your wrist as the spool unwound from your earlier actions. A standoff is currently happening in Fontaine's very own Chioriya Boutique. At least there's no guns involved, just a miffed geo vision haver and her lover.

“You make such a big deal over a kiss?” She asked, brows furrowing as she looked up at you. “Next time just ask instead of acting like this.”

But where's the fun in that?

“Well?”

Leaning down just enough so she could get on the tip of her toes, or more like those heels, you pucker your lips to try and coax her into giving what you wanted.

Oh that heavy sigh. Yet there her pretty face was coming in closer. The details of Chiori's eyeshadow clear to you, the pretty light tint of powder as her eyelashes fluttered closed. “Fine.” And with that she kissed you.

The rich, heavy taste of coffee from Cafe Letece you had gotten for her earlier filling your senses. She had always been so insistent the run there was better than opening some random can she had imported over from Inazuma despite the fact she went through all the effort to have Kirara deliver it in the first place. Perhaps it was the fact she was so selective when she wanted the taste of home.

Well, the taste of your home was her as Chiori slowly pulled away. Her soft lips abandoning yours as the spool was snatched from her hand, robbed right under your fingers as the cardboard that it was wrapped around was replaced for air. Not even the sticker smacked on top labeling the thing for sale you had been picking at earlier was clinging onto your skin.

How rude.

“Beautiful,” you cried out as you hopped off the arm chair, stumbling over the floor as you landed, trying to chase after her in the small shop. “Wait, wait! Come back I want another!”

“Then it seems you'll have to find more ribbon to bargain with.”

Ignoring you Chiori went back to the pin up mannequin in the center of the room, holding up a strip of the ribbon to the sleeves of the dress as she pinned it in place with small metal needles.

Well…that's your girl alright.

“Love you, my pretty.”

#chiori #chiori x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #hoyoverse #x reader #gn reader #ribbons #banner by cafekitsune

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shiny-jr · 2 months

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RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH I literally cannot put into words how much I loved the latest Damnation au chapter- I was literally seconds away from putting my phone down to get back to work but as soon as I saw a glimpse of the fic, I just couldn't help but put everything on hold

I was really impressed with how you included Epel into the story in a way that just about correlated to Epel in canon (like how he was actively opposed to hit position in the castle). Like taking into consideration of the time period and the possible reasons why Epel would be relevant there in the first place despite not being in the original tale- SO WELL DONE!! Not to mention Vil going out of his way to find potential successors really emphasizes his hatred for Neige (poor guy😭) Also the way you write about Rook??? I knew he'd be creepy but gyat damn your writing only increased the feeling of it ten-fold. Especially in that scene after he climbed through the window and interrupted MC and Vil- Literally foaming at the mouth i was like 'holy crap this is it, we're gonna get exposed' cause aint no way Rook WOULDN'T know. Everything about him was unnerving yet so charming?? I really don't know how you do it but the way you just write them is just so accurate👏

As a Vil simp, every scene with him in it had be giggling and kicking my feet✨ I was pleasantly surprised with his advances towards the MC though- like hubba hubba... I ain't complaining though! The tension in those scenes were just *chefs kiss* Every moment with him just oozed authority and power, like I'd be on the edge of my metaphorical seat just waiting for the moment he calls out the MC

Like holy crap you really know how to set your scenes- like legit every time I Rook or Vil were in a scene, it genuinely felt tense. Also props to MC for looking out for #1 (themselves) even at the expense of ruining someone else

Anyway excuse my rambling lmao i'm definitely gonna be re-reading it again ^^

Sounds like another happy reader. And yes, Epel's part was difficult. Mainly because, well, Epel is based off the poisoned apple, so how is he supposed to play that role? In my mind, the poisoned apple is a tool used by the Evil Queen. So, what is similar to a tool? A person to manipulate, which is how I came up with the idea of heir. Combined with the fact that Vil obviously takes a shine to Epel, as he spends time meticulously perfecting his habits and mannerisms in-game. Which fit the scenario I was to use, of a King claiming an heir and drilling instructions and behaviors in their mind to manipulate.

Rook and Vil were easy to place into roles, due to who they're based off of. But it was difficult coming up with scenes for them, since the Huntsman and Evil Queen don't have a lot in the movies. Especially the Huntsman.

For Rook, I actually considered writing a scene were MC followed him as he scoped out the meadow or the moment when Rook was to escort Neige to the meadow, but ultimately I decided against that as it would overcomplicate the plot and give more time to Neige instead of Rook. I needed a way to properly portray Rook's watchfulness and the unease it spawns, which I figured should fit the setting. A carefully worded conversation knit of lies and unsaid threats and fears is much more effective when the reader is picturing hollowed stone halls of a palace instead of a colorful meadow. At least, that was my thought process there, which is why most interactions with Rook are in settings such as those.

And finally, Vil, who I decided to write a few more interesting scenes for purely because I know a good amount of my followers love that pretty man. There were multiple concepts and scrapped ideas I've already forgotten by now, different things that never made it to my keyboard, like a tense dinner scene and back-and-forth bickering. But some of those just didn't fit the feeling I wanted, or was out of character for either the MC or others.

Anyways, now I'm rambling. Sorry. I hope the second read was just as enjoyable as the first!

#shiny speaks #damnation twst au

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madarasgirl · 3 months

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A Night for Hunting Ch. 17 -True Bravery

T/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x F!Reader, canon-typical violence, angst, hurt/comfort, trauma, romance, protective angry vampire @alastorhazbin Words: 5757

I've stalled enough. It's time to get back to the grittier style of Hellsing and the action bits!

***I opted out of third-party sharing, but I don't actually trust Tumblr to honour this preference. So from now on, the rest of this fic will only be available on AO3 with links posted here. I spend hundreds of hours on this fic and frequently write well into the wee hours of the morning (4 or 5 am) when I could be sleeping instead. And I willingly do this for FREE because I LOVE writing Alucard. That this platform may now be selling my creative work that I poured so much of myself into (even if I'm merely a small author) to some company so AI can learn to imitate my writing (along with countless other authors) and churn out ‘fics’ gives me the chills. I guarantee the computer doesn't love our favourite characters the way we content creators do. The idea of AI-generated fics simply feels wrong to me and makes writing for fandom lose its essence. I am not willingly handing over full chapters of my fic to Tumblr to feed this process.

A short excerpt is below the cut.

The knight raised a brow. “Servant, if your human is to reside at Hellsing, she will eventually be dragged into our conflict with the undead. She must see firsthand what it is we do, preferably under controlled conditions, and she will continue to do so on occasion beyond this assignment.”

A Hellsing’s word was law and you must both abide by it. Never forget that you were here because of her permission. It was unspoken, but the threat was barely veiled.

Integra’s eyes narrowed. "Vampire, the Hellsing organization has no use for a tool that can't complete a simple mission."

Alucard dissolved into his spectral state before stretching into a disproportionately drawn out shadow of a man that flowed over the thick carpet. His smirk returned as crimson blazed at the challenge. He placed a hand over where his heart should be and bowed. As expected of Integra Hellsing to possess the audacity to issue the Devil himself an ultimatum. He enjoyed her headstrong nature.

He chuckled with amusement. Orders were orders. “Very well, we shall dispatch this band together, as you wish.”

“And you will ensure she is to return completely unharmed.”

As if it needed to be stated. You coming to harm wasn’t within the realm of consideration. The creature cackled at the idea, his laugh echoing through the morose chamber as vermillion flashed; Alucard became one with the shadows and melted away, the fading sound of his laughter the only thing he left behind.

It was his duty to protect you. He would not fail when you needed his strength.

~To be Continued~

Ch. 18- Interlude III (featuring Vladcard and bondage) Ch. 19- Valentine's

#alucard hellsing #alucard x reader #alucard fanfiction #alucard x you #alucard #hellsing ultimate #hellsing alucard #my comfort vampire #my writing #they're pretty much married now #hellsing ova

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esther-dot · 8 months

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The debate about the appropriateness of Jonsa overshadows the political/feudal argument. Unless you can make a convincing case Sansa is going to run away and become a peasant with Sandor (didn't GRRM literally mock that...), or that she can singlehandedly Elizabeth the first it, then you need to be thinking about marriage. Marriage is just as important as war in GRRM's books, if not moreso, and it's a symbolic struggle at that.

Of course Stumpy has searched for Sansa's husband and applied this thinking, but it's one that's otherwise severely lacking. GRRM would go there. We know he'd go there, cousins or not. The question is, why?

Stumpy's Find Sansa's Husband is one of my favs!

No worries! Each of us has a fandom pet peeve we need to rant about. And you're right about Martin's criticism of the "running off with a stable boy trope," in fact, it sounds like the idea really annoys him (his quote below the cut)

And then there are some things that are just don’t square with history. In some sense I’m trying to respond to that. [For example] the arranged marriage, which you see constantly in the historical fiction and television show, almost always when there’s an arranged marriage, the girl doesn’t want it and rejects it and she runs off with the stable boy instead. This never fucking happened. It just didn’t. There were thousands, tens of thousand, perhaps hundreds of thousands of arranged marriages in the nobility through the thousand years of Middle Ages and people went through with them. That’s how you did it. It wasn’t questioned. Yeah, occasionally you would want someone else, but you wouldn’t run off with the stable boy. And that’s another of my pet peeves about fantasies. The bad authors adopt the class structures of the Middle Ages; where you had the royalty and then you had the nobility and you had the merchant class and then you have the peasants and so forth. But they don’t’ seem to realize what it actually meant. They have scenes where the spunky peasant girl tells off the pretty prince. The pretty prince would have raped the spunky peasant girl. He would have put her in the stocks and then had garbage thrown at her. You know. I mean, the class structures in places like this had teeth. They had consequences. And people were brought up from their childhood to know their place and to know that duties of their class and the privileges of their class. It was always a source of friction when someone got outside of that thing. And I tried to reflect that.

I think the issue is, S*nsans and people who shipped Sansa with LF were some of the first to write real meta on her (from what I've heard), so certain fans/perceptions got pretty firmly established, and then a new generation of Sansa fan came along who rejected the Sansa x adult man/molester ships, but it was pretty easy for them to assume that due to Sansa's age, Martin would leave her marriage to the future.

Also, a lot of people don't expect Sansa to be QitN, so the succession issue isn't putting pressure on the marriage timeline, and if you're someone who thinks Bran will actually be king over all Westeros or Rickon will be KitN etc etc, you can imagine Sansa's endgame is safety in Winterfell, not a romance or marriage.

Personally, I think Sansa's interactions with Cersei and LF indicate that she wants to be the right kind of queen (in defiance of Cersei's advice) and is being equipped with tools to achieve her own ends / play the game, for the right reasons, to good ends, but being handed tools nonetheless. She is so unfocused on her birthright and power, it seemed like she was meant to be contrasted with Cersei and Dany. The natural endpoint of that imo would be her becoming queen. And, if she is queen, I've argued that based on other queen's experiences, we must see her married as being a queen is a whole new set of risks, not a happy ending in and of itself.

Of course, some have speculated that the endgame will be indicated, not actually chronicled on the page, as in, Jon and Sansa fall in love, but Jon does get sent to the wall or goes into exile for a callback of what Sansa imagined she could do to save Ned, and we end kinda knowing, eventually they'll get back together, but the actual happy ending isn't on the page. Or the alternative scenario is that Jon is named KitN because of Robb's Will and marries Sansa to resolve all the chaos after parentage reveal. That's where your thoughts on the political aspect of marriage comes in because that would be very tidy. Actually, whoever is recognized by the Northern Lords, whether it’s my preference of Sansa or Jon, the heir issue was a big deal for Robb, so marriage / heirs will certainly come up and impact the plot.

As for Jonsa itself and it being icky to some, I've said before, I think Martin must have something he wants to do with incest beyond showcasing how toxic it is. As in, that is not a way to challenge the reader, by saying something we all know, and his whole shtick is to write complexity into every relationship, every hero, even many villains, so I don't for a minute believe that's he's introduced this topic without planning to ask the audience to think a little more deeply on it. To force us to look at it from a different angle. The way he does that is to give us heroes who are tempted and make us squirm until we get parentage reveal.

#jonsa #dot chat

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sparksqfly · 1 year

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─ So much for summer love𓆝

synopsis: modern au - you meet ellie during a school activity and start getting involved in an intense relationship.

warnings! bad words, low self-esteem, men being bothersome, etc.

author's note: it's actually terrifying to publish this here. i'm a very private person with my writing, but my friend told me I should share it, so i listened to her. english is not my first language, so please forgive any errors I may have made. i did my best <3

about the story: joel is referred to as ellie's father. references to taylor swift and her music, the reader is a huge swiftie (just like the writer hehehe). i have the entire story written, but i divided it into parts to make it less lengthy. If you like it, i will publish the remaining parts! thank you for reading.

wc: 4,5k (sorry)

a loud and familiar horn woke you up from your trance, jesse and dina. you looked at yourself in the mirror again to see if "you weren't trying too hard," sighed, and decided to leave your room. you realized it had taken you 2 hours to get ready and cursed yourself for being so indecisive when it came to putting together a damn outfit for a stupid school trip. although, on second thought, if there was something that had made you hesitate so much about what to wear that day, it was what ms. smith had said on friday in the last few minutes of class. "remember that this activity in the forest will be done in pairs, but not just any pair. it will be two people that the directors of both schools have decided to put together based on their academic performance and behavior within the school." great, now you couldn't spend the entire forest activity arm in arm with dina, gossiping about trivial things. instead, you would be spending the whole afternoon with a stranger that the 40-year-old administrators had decided you should be with.

you let out a sigh, coming out of your thoughts, and sent a message to jesse saying that you had lost track of time and to wait five minutes as you would be ready. didn't bother waiting for a response and threw your phone into a medium-sized white backpack along with some sanitizing wipes, band-aids, sunglasses, a hair tie, some money, your headphones, and some candies you had on your nightstand. didn't bother arranging everything neatly as you would if only you weren't in such a hurry. you slung the bag over your shoulder and glanced at yourself one last time in the mirror, looking at the curls you had struggled to create, and adjusted the small ribbon that held some of your hair back at the back of your head.

you rushed out of your room while grabbing your keys and a lip balm that was on the table, and bid rufus, your orange cat, a high-pitched goodbye. he would be somewhere in the house, but he didn't really care much about you leaving. you opened the door, briefly glancing back into your house, vaguely checking the mental checklist you had made the night before. you decided that if you had forgotten something, it wasn't important anyway because if it were, you would have remembered it by now.

you locked the door of your house and smiled as you saw dina holding onto jesse while leaning halfway out of the passenger window to greet you.

"y/n! over here!" shouted the black-haired girl as you stored the key in your messy bag on your shoulder. "please stop," sighed jesse with exasperation, watching his brown jacket crinkle from how tightly dina was gripping it.

amid laughter, you entered the car and sat in the back seat, placing your bag beside you. you looked at your friends and then leaned forward to form a three-way hug. "wow, looking pretty today," dina smiled, admiring your white dress. jesse lovingly took a strand of your hair and observed, "i've always wondered how you girls use heat styling tools on your hair, yet it never smells burnt."

dina and you exchanged glances before bursting into laughter at jesse's concentrated expression while analyzing your hair. you rested your head back on the seat and watched jesse start the car with his key. you had always loved that things were uncomplicated with them—they knew each other so well that sometimes not a single word needed to be spoken to feel comfortable.

after about 5 minutes of driving and heading towards the school, dina connected music to the stereo and settled in her seat to look at both of you. "are you excited to see who your travel partner will be?" dina asked, looking specifically at you. you sighed and glanced at your dress again. "i wish I could say no, but i spent all night thinking about what to wear today and what people will think of me," you admitted. "whoever you're paired with, i'm sure you'll get along well, unlike us, you're kind and fun," jesse said with what you called his "older brother aura." "you guys are fun... sometimes," you said, looking at them with a smirk. "thanks, and if you're both interested, on friday, as i was coming back from the bathroom to go home, i overheard the teachers talking about the pairs being of the same gender to avoid the things we couples do in the forest when we're alone," dina looked at you, and you returned her knowing gaze. "maybe you can find a beautiful girlfriend, y/n." jesse looked at you through the rearview mirror and smiled, "you read my mind, sir." dina looked at you accusingly again, and you laughed at their insistent looks focused on you. "to be honest, i would like to meet someone here, a girl. It sounds romantic."

"imagine it until it becomes real" dina said, winking at you and leaning back in her seat. she looked at the stereo with a smile on her face. "i love this song" she said as she dramatically raised the volume knob to "circles" by post malone. unexpectedly, jesse started singing the song in a comically off-key manner, and you burst into laughter, joining in with loud and off-key singing. you truly loved them.

after about 15 minutes of driving, you arrived at the school. the sidewalk was painfully crowded with people, but you could hardly recognize anyone from your class or the hallways. jesse parked the car a couple of blocks ahead, knowing how difficult it would be to get back to the car once everyone dispersed. you helped them unload their belongings and slung your small white backpack back onto your shoulder. that's when you realized it might have been a mistake to pack so few things in such a small bag. everyone else had large backpacks and even more belongings in huge tote bags. you sighed. what was the point of carrying so many things anyway? your teachers had made it clear that everything you would need for the trip, such as food, water, or even warm clothing if necessary, would be provided by the school and the guides.

you snapped back to reality, coming out of your thoughts as you walked behind your friends back to the school, trying to smooth out your dress with your hands. once you reached the school, you had a better view of what others were wearing, and you felt relieved to see several girls wearing skirts and dresses even shorter than yours, which reached just above your knees. however, it was slightly longer at the back, not long enough to touch your ankles or the top of your white converse sneakers anyway

you had to wait for about 15 minutes before the teachers decided to group them by schools into two separate groups. you watched as even more people arrived than when you had first glanced from jesse's car. you rested your head on dina's shoulder while a middle-aged man who introduced himself as mr. emery explained the first game of the day, this time to find their excursion partners. you caught some parts of his speech as you were somewhat far from the teachers, and the students seemed unable to stop talking for a second, including dina, who already seemed to have made friends with a short, blonde-haired girl. when mr. emery finished speaking, you quickly approached jesse.

"what did he say?" you asked urgently, your expression desperate to understand what had been said amidst the hurried movements and conversations of everyone present in the courtyard. he chuckled slightly at your desperate expression and the sight of the bustling crowd. "he said they're going to write a number assigned to each of us on our hand, and we have to find our partner in the crowd because the partner will have the same number" jesse replied. "that's ridiculous, it's only going to cause more chaos," dina chimed in, magically appearing behind your back. "dina! you scared the shit out of me!" you whispered, looking at your friend who smirked, before you could continue complaining about how terrifying it was to interact with people, your math teacher approached jesse and grabbed his fist, writing a medium-sized thirteen on the back of his hand and then left without saying a word. "obviously, i'm going to have great luck with my partner today" jesse joked, showing dina and you his number. dina laughed, and you smiled. "are you kidding me? it's number thirteen! taylor swift's number! i'm really jealous of you right now!" jesse let out a small laugh with adoration towards you and ruffled your hair slightly before going to the group from the neighboring school to assume, to look for his partner.

dina and you exchanged smiles, and a middle-aged man with gray hair and dark circles under his eyes called you by your last name, and you handed him your hand, indicating that it was you, seeing the permanent marker on his hand. he gave you a smile and, after checking a small grid on a sheet of paper, wrote a "27" on your hand, the same size as jesse's. you brought your hand closer to you and smiled at him. "wow, you're my daughter's partner" he smiled shyly, and you looked at him more closely, remembering his face in case his daughter physically resembled him. "she's a rather reserved girl, but I think you'll get along well" he said. "i hope so" you replied kindly, not having much else to say. He smiled at you and left. "getting to know the father-in-law?" dina startled you again, magically appearing behind you. you rolled your eyes. "you're unbearable" you said, laughing, and did the typical military salute that you knew she hated before going to look for your famous partner.

well... agonizing 15 minutes had passed (although if you were asked, you would swear it had been 30) looking for your partner. you had seen the hands of dozens of girls, but none seemed to have a 27 on the back of their hand. you were about to give up and approach a teacher to see if it was some sort of mistake on their part, considering that there were very few people left in the courtyard as most had already found their partners and boarded the bus. just when you were about to go talk to your math teacher, you saw a girl with auburn hair and a blue and white shirt leaning against one of the bus walls, you noticed that you hadn't seen her before in the crowd, and honestly, you had nothing to lose by trying one last time. any sense of embarrassment had vanished after talking to the tenth person who seemed to have your number, but in reality, it wasn't the right one. besides, this girl was really attractive and seemed kind, shy but friendly.

you approached her, who, despite having you in front of her, didn't pay much attention to you. you took advantage of that moment to look at her closely. she had a perfect profile with eyebrows that framed her face perfectly, a beautiful upturned nose, medium but full lips that seemed dry, and admirable green orbs that appeared like tourmalines of the same color in the light. only when you snapped out of your trance of admiring her did you realize that her eyes were fixed on you with an arched eyebrow, seeing that you had stayed still, lost in her appearance.

you cleared your throat before speaking to her, ignoring the warmth you felt rising in your cheeks and how flushed you must have been. oh my god. she was just a girl. why were you reacting like this? "could I see your number? i'm really looking for my partner, and i think you're the only one i haven't asked" you offered a smile as you spoke, and she just looked into your eyes with an expression you couldn't decipher. you expected some verbal response, but she only raised her fist slightly, and you had to gather courage for the next step: delicately took her hand and noticed a brief shiver from the girl as you touched her skin with the tips of your fingers. not wanting to make her uncomfortable, you carefully turned her hand and finally found the number 27 written on it.

you released her fist and with a smile, showed her your left hand where the same number was written. "we're partners" you smiled and adjusted your bag on your shoulder. "cool." you let pass what you suspected was a hint of sarcasm in her voice. nah, she didn't seem like that kind of person. "you have no idea how much i was looking for you, asked almost everyone" you said with excitement in your voice. She smiled slightly, noticing the emotion in your voice. "mind if we get on the bus?" you added a questioning tone at the end so that she would tell you her name. "ellie" she responded with a hint of a smile on her lips. "ellie, ah, wonderful!" you smiled back at her and were startled by the loud honk of the bus ahead. In a panic of being left behind, you grabbed ellie's hand, where her number was written, and joined it with yours, gently pulling her along as you started running towards the bus with her behind you.

you both boarded the bus, and you let go of her hand when the driver closed the door behind the two of you. you told your last name to the guide sitting in the front seat, moved forward to find an empty seat for both of you, and found one a little further ahead. you turned back and caught the last name ellie whispered to the woman, "williams, ellie williams, that's a nice name" you thought to yourself once you sat in the bus seat. you gestured to your companion with your head for her to sit next to you, and fortunately, she did.

before you could start a conversation, mr. emery stood up and began explaining the agenda for the day in the forest. Seeing that ellie was paying attention to what he was saying, you diverted your eyes from her to finally listen to an authority figure. "guys, you have to listen to me. we don't want to make this any longer for you. the proposal for today is a race" said the authority. Immediately, all the teenagers on the bus let out an "ohh" of disappointment, which was exactly what you thought too. had they been planning this for so long just for a long physical education class in the forest for five hours? you sighed and looked back at mr. emery, who was gesturing for everyone to let him continue with the explanation.

"i know what you're thinking, and don't worry, it's not what you kids believe. the race will consist of 3 stages of riddles, which will be explained better when you get there, but to give you an example, the first one will be to find three hidden symbols in different trees scattered in a section of the forest. once the duo has all the symbols noted down, they can move on to the next stage, which will also be a riddle." this time the reactions were mixed; you noticed some excited faces as well as some girls rolling their eyes and talking to their friends. on the other hand, ellie seemed interested in what had been told, even excited, you could say. you smiled as you observed her trying to hide her smile by pressing her lips together.

"i need you to listen to one last thing," mr. emery said, raising his hand and showing a purple ribbon. "this is the race boundary. you can't go beyond where this ribbon is located. it's a dangerous place, with traps for bears, big bears, wolves, and foxes. if you happen to encounter any of those and there's no teacher nearby, it's a BAD sign. you'll end up devoured by an animal and dead." you guessed the last part was sarcasm, although it didn't sound like it.

you paled at the mention of bears and traps so close to where you would be, until a voice snapped you out of your trance. "you don't actually think there are bears there, do you, pretty girl?" ellie said, looking at you with a sideways smile that disappeared when she realized you were genuinely scared. "hey, don't worry, there are no bears. he only says that to scare us and prevent us from crossing the boundaries." as she spoke, she placed a hand on your knee and gently moved it in circles. you smiled and placed your hand on top of hers, both "27" on top of each other. but before you could respond, your annoying classmates started playing horrible music at full volume and screaming while playing stupid games only they could understand. "oh, fuck me" you sighed heavily, looking at the white ceiling of the bus.

ellie, who had been looking back at your classmates, turned her gaze to you. "are they always like this?" she asked incredulously. "always" you replied, feeling somewhat embarrassed. ellie stood up to remove her (now that you could see it clearly) huge backpack from her lap and placed it under the seat. you took the opportunity to take out your earphones and phone from your bag, revealing a picture of rufus asleep on a book on your lock screen. ellie sat back down next to you, spreading her legs as you connected your earphones. you searched for the playlist you usually used to travel with jesse and dina (which was mainly taylor swift) and pressed shuffle. then you offered one of your headphones to ellie, who accepted with a smile, moving a little closer to you. In that moment, you thanked rufus, who had broken your airpods a week ago, leaving you with your wired headphones.

after about 10 minutes of the journey, you relaxed as ellie seemed to enjoy your music. you noticed her nodding her head to the rhythm, and you smiled. you wanted to rest your head on the bus window since you were extremely tired from waking up so early and staring at your reflection for so long. but just as you were about to close your eyes and finally get some rest, your classmates, of course, chose that moment to slam your window shut forcefully, startling you as you quickly lifted your head in alarm, while they burst into laughter, high-fiving each other. you sighed, trying not to look at them or ellie, feeling humiliated by the knowledge that they wouldn't take you seriously anyway. however, ellie seemed to have a different idea about how to act.

"hey! what the fuck is your problem with her?!" ellie stood up abruptly, slamming her hands firmly on the back of your seat. fortunately, not many people noticed what was happening amidst the loud music and shouts on the bus. ellie exchanged some harsh words with them, which you couldn't hear, and one of the guys stood up, touched your back, and apologized with his head down. you nodded slightly and turned to play the song again.

"sorry about that" ellie said, sitting back down beside you. "they're just a bunch of idiots. ond't let them get to you." you managed to smile gratefully at her before continuing your sentence.

"i'm glad you stood up for me. not many people do."

"well, I don't tolerate assholes" ellie replied with a hint of determination in her voice. "besides, we're going to have a great time on this race, and I won't let anyone ruin it for us."

her words brought a genuine smile to your face. perhaps this race wouldn't turn out to be so bad after all, especially with ellie by your side. as you leaned back in your seat, finally finding some peace, you silently thanked rufus again for breaking your airpods and bringing ellie into your life.

you offered ellie the headphone again, and she gently took it, her fingertips brushing against yours as she put it on. "do you want me to change the music?" you offered as you were about to turn off your phone screen to try and get some sleep. she shook her head. "i've never heard this music before, but it's pleasant. it goes well with the journey." you nodded with a smile. she couldn't possibly be real. She was so nice and attractive, and she called you "pretty girl"?! You blushed, replaying those words in your mind with her voice, and decided to strike up a conversation.

"so... is that your cat on your wallpaper?" you were surprised to see that she had initiated the conversation between the two of you. you quickly glanced at your phone, looking at the photo of rufus peacefully asleep on top of a stack of books. "yes, my cat. his name is rufus. my mom brought him home during christmas. he was tiny and on the streets. he's the devil incarnate in an orange cat. do you have any pets?" instantly, you wanted to cover your mouth for talking too much, fearing that you had overwhelmed ellie with information. but as if she had read your mind, she spoke up. "he looks adorable. and no, i don't have any pets. i'd love to have a cat. i really like them, even though they don't seem to like me."

"you get used to it. i don't think rufus thinks i'm cool anyway" you replied. "you look cool though, i mean, you seem nice. you had the courage to come and talk to me" she said with admiration. you looked at her with adoration, wishing you could talk to dina right now. how did you develop a crush so quickly on someone you had just met? "did you see me talking to all the girls to see if they had the number 27?" you blushed, remembering the embarrassment you had experienced approaching everyone to check. "i did! you looked really cute. you even made me feel sorry for you, so i approached stealthily. it was all planned" she laughed, her comment making you laugh as well. your cheeks were still flushed, but this time not from embarrassment, but from the girl in front of you, unabashedly flirting. "i'm glad you're my partner. i think we'll have a fun afternoon." "so be it," eillie opened her hand for a high-five, and you gladly obliged.

"can i ask you a question?" ellie inquired. "anything." "this may sound strange, but what's your name?" you paled, realizing that you had spent all that time with her without even telling her your name. you had held her hand and lent her your music, but you didn't even have the decency to introduce yourself. you stuttered for a few seconds before telling her your name and apologizing for forgetting to do so earlier. "y/n," ellie said your name aloud, as if testing it on her lips. "that's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." all the color that had disappeared from your face came rushing back in an even stronger blush. "stop it! you're turning me into a tomato if you keep making me blush." "you look really pretty like that, that's why i do it." finally, you rested your elbows on your lap and hid your face in your hands. a cute and kind girl saying all those things to you? you were truly weak. you heard ellie laugh behind you and looked at her, pretending to be annoyed. "come on, lift your head, love. we have a long day ahead." 'it's obvious,' you thought as you observed her face full of freckles. once you composed yourself, you put your headphone back on and finally gathered the courage to rest your head on ellie's shoulder to sleep. you felt a smile forming on her face, and after a few seconds, she rested her head on yours and placed her hand back on your knee

you woke up to the sound of excessively loud chatter. you opened your eyes, adjusting to the light, and realized where your head was. you slowly lifted your head and saw ellie's profile, still in the same position as when you fell asleep, but this time looking towards the bus exit, possibly waiting for everyone to fully disembark. before speaking to her, you noticed a somewhat red mark and distinct lines on the lower part of her cheek. you pondered for a few seconds what it could be and smiled when you realized it was the mark left by your hair when she rested her head on yours. you assumed that she had also fallen asleep in the same position you remembered, and your heart filled with joy at how quickly she had become comfortable with you.

before ellie realized that you had been staring at her profile, you touched her shoulder and with a smile asked if it was okay to get off now. she nodded and helped you pick up your earphones that had fallen to the floor during the journey. she grabbed her backpack and put it on her shoulder, starting to walk towards the bus door. you followed her while closing your backpack, and when you reached the stairs to descend, you noticed that slowly all the students were gathering around the teachers who were starting to organize themselves to give instructions. you looked back at the stairs and saw ellie standing on the grass, extending a hand to help you down. you took her hand and took the opportunity to get a better look at her forearm tattoo. though it seemed unfinished, it was undeniably beautiful. you wondered if she had drawn the design herself and decided to ask her later. as you approached the teachers, you thought ellie would let go of your hand, but she didn't. she continued to hold it gently as she guided you to a closer spot near the teachers to listen to the instructions.

once again, you got lost in your partner's appearance and missed the explanation. she seemed to realize the reason when you asked her to repeat what your teachers had said, and she blushed slightly. "they said there are more than 10 symbols carved into various trees in the area, and they want us to implement technology or something like that. so, when we move on to the next stage, we need to show them the photos we've taken of the symbols on the trees. we should have at least three to complete this part." as ellie narrated, you nodded slowly, trying not to get lost in her beautiful green eyes again. "understood. anything else?" ellie nodded her head. "to make sure we don't use the same photos as our classmates, we need to make it clear that the photo is ours. like having ourselves in the photo or using our hand to show the assigned number." you nodded again, and this time it was your turn to hold her hand and lead her to the starting point of the race.

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