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#Why yes in fact I am indeed searching for likes that’s like the whole point cuz I wanna start helping people legitimately and what better p
thecovenhouseco · 10 months
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real-jane · 2 years
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poet laureate
part 3 - [prof bucky barnes x fem!reader]
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summary: dean stark has his say.
warnings: none.
a/n: in case it wasn't obvious, there will be a fourth and perhaps even a fifth installment lol. i'm not ready to let them go.
series masterlist
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Bucky had never been given a chance to decide what he wanted in life, but staring the visage of his fears in the face, Bucky was overwhelmed by the notion that he was not ashamed to be caught kissing this woman. All along he had anticipated how horrible he would feel, were Dean Stark to find out. Indeed, he was embarrassed (especially considering where his hands had been wandering), but former-professor Barnes couldn’t muster an apology for what they had done. He didn’t want her to be punished for it–but it didn’t mean he regretted it. 
“I can come back.” Stark cleared his throat, turning away to give them some modicum of privacy.
“Thanks for meeting us,” Y/n said quickly. She stood and gave Bucky space to push off the chair and join her. He frowned at her in confusion. “I asked him here,” she said softly, leaning toward him as if the person who could end her career at NYU wasn’t standing right there. 
Y/n smiled. “You are going to be so many things to me. A dirty secret is not one of them.”
Bucky searched for her hand blindly and linked their fingers once he found them. She’s not ashamed. The thought almost eclipsed the dread in the pit of his stomach. Still… he stood. He clutched her hand.
“It’s good you know. In case you get questions,” Bucky said to the Dean, who leaned against the door frame.
Stark snorted. “Is this why you resigned?”
“Yes.” The admission came forward of its own volition; it wasn’t the whole of it, but when he cut it right down to the wick of why–it was because all he wanted to do was kiss the woman at the end of his arm, even if other people saw him do it. Bucky cleared his throat to steel his nerves. 
“At no point were we doing this when she was my student. I didn’t develop these feelings until the Summer. It seemed inappropriate to continue with my position, knowing I intended to pursue it.” 
“No, I think that was astute. I am curious why you didn’t come to me right away.”
Bucky glanced at Y/n. She smiled gently.
“Doesn’t matter, does it?” she asked. “It happened. What’s important is where we go from here.”
“Hmm.” Stark seemed to consider this deeply, removing his ostentatious glasses to rub a hand over his face. 
“I don’t want her degree to be in jeopardy, and we’re both aware how it looks–”
“Okay, bud. I know you’re freaking out,” Stark said, closing the door so the conversation might stay at least somewhat confidential, “but be straight with me: did you fuck on school property?”
Bucky’s cheeks reddened. “No.”
“Did you kiss her while instructing her?”
“No.”
Dean Stark’s focus swung to Y/n. “Did he coerce you into a relationship with drugs or alcohol or… I don’t know. A puppy, or something.”
“Nope.”
“Did you do favors for her like altering her grades or write a recommendation letter in exchange for favors of a sexual nature?”
“Jesus,” she breathed. “Nothing like that. He came to my symposium with the Emily Dickinson Fellowship in Amherst. Today is the first time we’ve been on campus at the same time since. So I can help clean out his office.”
“Great. I’ve done my duty, so. Do whatever you want, but not on property. Okay?” Stark sighed. “Barnes, I’ve known you for a few years now… long enough to see that you don’t have a life outside of teaching. No offense.”
“Apt,” Bucky agreed.
“You are a good person. The fact that you resigned to get ahead of this speaks to your ethics, but I think you underestimate how much people in this program appreciate you. If you had come to me–’gee, Tony–fell in love with my mentee, what the hell do I do?’ I would’ve asked you all of these questions, word for word. And we could’ve figured out a solution which didn’t look like you had a sudden breakdown. I mean… you’re seeing your former student. No way around it. But you’re not out here plucking up freshmen. So.” Stark shrugged. “If you have an interest in finishing out the semester, or… I don’t know. Coming back in some capacity, I’ll support you.”
Bucky ran a hand through his hair in disbelief. “I–no. Thank you. I have a new job. I need to do something else for a while.”
Stark nodded. “Alright. Well. People are gonna talk. Nothing I can do about that.”
“We can take it,” Y/n said.
Stark looked between the two of them for a moment, and a genuine smile pulled at one corner of his mouth. “Poetry is dangerous, huh.”
Bucky couldn’t help but sigh. “Sure.”
“Off the record, just so I know for your adjudication. Did you leave his name on your thesis?”
“Sir–after two years of work?” She scoffed. 
“I had a feeling. It’s better I ask your reasoning now than during your defense, in front of your peers and family,” Stark said.
“I mean–what answer would be acceptable to the board?” Y/n spat. “If it weren’t for Barnes, this thesis wouldn’t exist. To leave him unacknowledged would be factually inaccurate.”
“Y/n–you should’ve taken me off,” Bucky murmured. “I would’ve understood.”
She looked between the two men with an aghast expression. “No. And if interrogated by the board, I’ll tell them the same. I’m not hiding him from my work.” She squeezed Bucky’s hand so tight, he could feel her heartbeat in his palm.
“Okay. As long as you’re prepared.”
“Due respect, Dean Stark, I know what we’re up against.”
Stark shrugged. “Noted. Well. This has been illuminating,” he said with a surprising amount of peace about the whole thing, at least outwardly. “Barnes… I might suggest skipping her defense, anyway.”
Bucky looked down and nodded. “That was the plan.”
“What?” Y/n gapes at him. “This is ridiculous.”
Stark’s face turned stony. His mouth flattened into a thin line, and for just a moment, he looked like he was going to retort with something short or clipped, but… Tony Stark sat in the chair across the desk from them and crossed his ankle over his knee. 
“About… fifteen years ago, now? I developed a bit of a drinking problem, after my father passed. The board put me on probation after I fell asleep behind the wheel at a stoplight. Luckily, I had had the forethought to turn the car off before passing out. Woke up thanks to a knock on my window by a campus patroller. So, my mother suggested hiring an assistant. I brought the idea to the Dean at the time, in the guise of helping me ‘get my shit together’ and he created a special work study position for a TA, which involved being an administrative assistant for the department. Basically… making sure I was sober enough to come to class, and drive without killing myself. 
“Only one student applied. My little secret wasn’t well-hidden, but… Pepper was desperate to pay for her school herself so she didn’t burden her parents, and she didn’t care what it took. Until she realized her stroke of luck meant buying me gallons of Pedialyte, and fishing me out of the bar every time I drunk dialed her. She hated me. I was so annoyed by the sound of her shoes squeaking on the floorboards coming down my hallway that I gave her a pair of slippers… which she threw at me. But she kept showing up. She checked me into the hospital, and waved her finger in my face while the nurses had me captive with tubes and wires… It’s like you WANT to die! Pepper cried. I wasn’t thinking like that–I was just. Sad. And somebody actually cared.
“I didn’t ask her out for five more years,” Stark said. “Long after she graduated, might I add. Sometimes, love comes out of the clear blue sky. It doesn’t mean it’s bad, this thing between you. But some things will be difficult for you to navigate while you’re here–” he nodded to Y/n– “because of your historical connection. You also don’t have to make your lives harder. Barnes attending your thesis defense after suddenly resigning, while still being named on your work?” Stark clicked his tongue. “That’s a recipe for questions which have no bearing on your defense, but the board may not see it that way. I’m not… unsympathetic, here. My wife would make me sleep on the couch if I punished you for something I did, myself. But you should’ve told me right away. A guy’s gotta wonder what it says about him when people think they can’t come to him.
“Bottom line: now, I know. Should it be brought to me by someone other than yourselves, I can say I did my diligence, and found nothing… actionable. Yes?” Tony raised his brows and looked between the two. Bucky barely managed a slight nod, but that was enough for the Dean. 
Tony stood. “I’ll tell you: some days, I wish I still drank.” He winked at Y/n. His departure left behind a heady silence. 
Bucky released Y/n’s hand, and sank into the chair the Dean had occupied. Was that really it? Had he been waking up in cold sweats over the possibility of a personal history lesson from Tony Stark? Was it possible that the punishment for falling for her amounted to such a small sentence–well, not getting to hear her talk about her work was a loss, which rankled in the pit of his stomach out of disappointment more than anything–and he might not have to hide? He couldn’t stifle the huff of amazement. Y/n rubbed his shoulders.
“Are you upset with me?”
Bucky’s head snapped up. Was that fear in her voice? Her eyes searched his for reassurance, while she nervously nibbled the plush of her lower lip. What was crowning his dumbfounded dome? Love? He hadn’t said it, but Sam and Tony both had read him like a children’s board book. He loved her. Had done, since before the bloody workshop. Since… yeah. Since she handed him the first stack of poems which would become her thesis, and made that very same nervous face at him while he read her raw vision for her culminating project. He was neither upset with her for coming clean to Stark, or for any other thing. He opened his arms and she folded forward, dropping to kneel between his knees. The moment her cheek hit his chest, Bucky zinged with an image of the future. It wasn’t a premonition exactly, but it centered on her.
“I, uh. Hmm.” He gathered his realizations into a somewhat coherent statement, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I am better. With more of you,” he murmured, hearkening back to the poem of hers he had tried to use as an excuse not to love her.
“I know,” she whispered. Her fingers drew lazy circles on his back. “I wish you could be there for my defense.”
“Pssh.” He pulled back enough to look her in the eye. “I’ve had a front row seat this whole time. It’s someone else’s turn.” Bucky smiled as her nose wrinkled. “Doll, that night–broke my own heart, leaving you. I had feelings for you before then. I see that now. Just wasn’t gonna do anything about it.”
“Buck,” she said, as if his name were a new endearment she had created just for him, “do you know how long I’ve felt the same?” She giggled when Bucky frowned. “I didn’t even think you’d come to Amherst. When you did, I thought I was going to die. I don’t know how I made it through my reading.”
“You were perfect–”
“I was shaking, absolutely terrified you’d figure out all that… what did my instructor call it? Oh–“pent-up yearning”--was over you.” She sat back on her heels. “And you went with me to that bar after, and suddenly… we were magnetized.”
“Think we should tell Stark that part?”
She reached inside his fears and lit a candle. “Bucky, I love you. Even though you have been running like an Olympic Gold medalist, I’m pretty sure you feel the same.”
He blinked. “I think that is an insufficient description. Both of how I feel, and how much I’ve panicked about it.” They shared a soft, shaking laugh. She pressed up so they were nose-to-nose again, and Bucky nuzzled her. “Loving you doesn’t come easy to me. Haven’t had a lot of practice. But. I know I want to touch you again, and I feel a bit like a randy teenager about it.”
“Too bad we’ve been warned off campus trysts.” Her cheeks were warm when his fingers found them. “I’m free tonight.”
“I have work.” 
“What time?”
“Eight.”
She kissed him feather-light. “This packing thing isn’t going to take us all day.”
Bucky coughed, and flushed. “No, uh. Probably not.”
“So. Let’s wrap this up, yeah?” Y/n stood, leaving Bucky dumbfounded in the chair. He watched her straighten her clothing and turn her attention to the files in the desk. Though her eyes were cast downward, she smiled like she could feel his gaze. 
He scratched his cheek. This woman–blinding, beautiful, vibrant, intelligent–she had written poem after poem about him, by her own admission. He had reviewed every one, without knowing he was reading a profile of her affection for him. Born out of so many weekends in that very office, pouring over his thesaurus together, dog-earred to death with synonyms for ‘breath’ and ‘sigh’. He recalled telling her one time, ‘this would read more romantic if you…’ and the memory trailed off, because… she took his advice. She revised. He taught her the language of his heart. He walked the path beside her. He found himself at the same intersection she did. Where he saw uncultured awkwardness in himself, she saw something precious. Maybe that’s what love is. Somebody thinks I’m poetry. 
Once upon a time, he wrote things people found meaningful. Enough that his own thesis was carried by the university library, and sold at the coffee shop under ‘notable local authors’. He hadn’t put any of his own words to paper in so long that he wondered if he’d forgotten how. Or if, just maybe, he didn’t need to package his thoughts in palatable portions. Not if the woman he fed was her. And by God, if he couldn’t sustain himself on her words alone, he wasn’t fit to be with her.
And that wasn’t acceptable. 
He rose to his feet slowly, as if he couldn’t trust his knees not to knock together with nervousness. She paid him no mind, so he circled around the desk. Bucky reached for the folders in her hand; Y/n squeaked in surprise when he nudged the file drawer shut with his toe. He didn’t say a word, just wrapped both arms around her waist, tucked his chin into the crook of her shoulder, and held her. It took a moment for her to relax, but when she did, she hummed. A sweet, happy three-note ditty. Heart-sounds. The sort which she emitted when words were insufficient. She made many beautiful sounds on the one night of intimacy they had shared. Back then, he hadn’t felt worthy to listen to such sounds of abandon. But as her fingers crawled along his forearms to hug him back, Bucky knew they were meant for him. 
She was meant for him. Whatever ‘meant’ meant. No synonyms sufficed.
She packed everything which hung on the wall, including his degrees and the photo of his Army regiment. They left the files for his predecessor. They didn’t say much, but he kissed her when the urge struck, and offered her his coat when he deemed the office sufficiently emptied. He didn’t mind the pang of sadness which tugged when he slid his key into the mail slot of Sam’s office.
Part 4
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tag list: @peterhollandkait @honeywithemoney @nahthanks @emmabarnes @dracris33 @dracosluvbot @searchf0rtheskyline @cjand10
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julik0vatay · 1 month
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New Beetlejuice teaser got me HYPED!!
Me: woohooo Lyds get his ass! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Also me: if they won't acknowledge their friendship I will cry
While I love cartoon's portrayal of Lydia and Beetlejuice characters there's less conflict between them, almost like they resolved most of their grievances with each other off-screen. But movieverse is a perfect setup for frenemies dynamic and I freaking love that trope! Let them bicker, let them fight, force them into reluctant alliance and I will be cheering and hollering the whole time >.> So much angst potential to explore on both sides of their conflict..
I don't even care if new movie is trashy, I'm just excited to see my faves again tbh
In fact I got so excited I ended up writing 1.5k words of them bickering <.<
And I am throwing it into the void to sandworms and closing the door
So… Hypothetical reunion talk, movieverse sequel speculations, ambiguous and complicated relationship, with nods to cartoon and scrapped script
Slight warning for strong language and alcohol mention, and half-hearted death threats i guess? But otherwise pretty chill
Comeback of the century
He is pacing and fuming, muttering to himself, when she enters the room. Air feels cold and full of static, making his hair stand up even higher than she remembers. She stops at the doorframe, taking in sight of him looking like angry puffed up cat. She hesitates to interrupt his monologue that was definitely not for her ears.
– … and it's not like I was expecting a warm welcome, but a grown-up kid? When did that happen?! I almost mistook her for Lydia herself!! With that black hair and attitude, I thought my eyes are playing tricks on me! Wouldn't be the first time…
He trails off, finally noticing company. He snarls in her direction but doesn't stop pacing and doesn't try to get closer.
Lydia clears her throat, searching for words that wouldn't set off an explosion. It's not like she has to advocate for herself living her life as she did. And yet…
– I was not expecting to actually see you in my life ever again. Dreading it? Yes, sure. At 20 waiting for it at every corner. At 30 it got old. At 40 this whole thing felt more like a fever dream. And now you're here.
– And now I'm here, babe! Deal with it! Why aren't you running yet?!
She looks away, uncomfortable. Why indeed.
– Playing cat and mouse with you? Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not a teen to run around anymore.
That out of all seems like wrong thing to say because next moment he's in front of her, irrirated grin and barely held back anger in his voice.
– So am I not worth your time and money, honey? Not even batting an eye for good-ol-me? I can turn this into a literal nightmare, would that be worthy of your attention?!
She looks at him, stubbornly not moving an inch, deciding how much to say. All options are wrong ones so she goes with honest, because how much she has to loose at this point? She lived her life well enough, and her kid is all grown-up and ready to leave the nest…
She takes a shaky breath bracing herself and looks danger right in the eyes.
– …You're my worst nightmare not because of what you did. I've been haunted by what-ifs my whole life… You're a mystery that slipped out of my hands. What if, what if… ...What if we could have been friends?
He visibly deflates under her searching gaze like someone dropped a bucket of cold water over his head. There's a conflicted look on his face for a moment but then it passes leaving behind resignation and defeat. (He fucked up. She was the one, the perfect chance for everything he wanted and HE FUCKED IT UP!!)
– Lyds…
He stills as if thinking it over before opening his arms. (He can work with fucked up. She's right here after all. Maybe its not too late to fix a rush job)
– How about a bit of death's embrace?
There's a faint surprise in her eyes. She considers the risk, her eyes tracing his hands, his posture, his face. He doesn't look threatening, just weary and rough. She reluctantly steps closer.
She's caged in his arms immediately and its the most familiar feeling in the world. Faint smell of decay and ozone, chill running down her spine, just like her dead-parents hugs. His embrace is firm and maybe a little bit desperate. She raises her hands and returns the hug, hiding face in his shoulder.
This is a tightest hug she had in a long while. This is the tightest hug he had in a lifetime deathtime.
A long moment passes before he breaks the silence:
– I could snap your pretty little neck right now and you wouldn't be able to stop me.
– Yes, you could, – she sniffs. – Would you? If you do make it quick.
She's shoved back, his eyes locking with hers. Then he raises hand and bonks their foreheads together never breaking eye contact.
– I was thinking about this. Don't tempt me, Lydia.
She lets out a snort.
– Of course you did. Beetle… – she's interrupted with finger over her lips.
– Shhh-sh-shh! Careful with the B-word, babe!
– I've been thinking about you for past 30 years.
That brings smile back on his face and he's back to looking manic instead of just dead.
– Way to stroke a guy's ego! But then why didn't you just call me??
– While dreading what you'd do to my family if I ever dared?? I bet you had some petty revenge planned for all of us, – She deadpans before muttering under her nose, – …Or if I called… and you didn't show up… And I don't know which is worse…
He's staring at her again. Then he's laughing quietly, then at full volume, his whole body shaking and electric like she just cracked funniest joke in his life death.
– ..Hahaha.. I honestly dunno what I expected, of course you of all people!.. Oh, I sure did plan a revenge, do you wanna hear the deets, Deetz?
She rolls her eyes, wary but amused.
– I'm trying to be vulnerable here but sure, hit me with what you've got.
– I was thinking a merry-go-round, you know, classic! Filled with worms. You know, URGH, sandworms!! Make you all taste your own medicine!!! That was awful by the way, you owe me for that one!
– Hmm. Sounds unpleasant. Not as exciting as I hoped from you.
– Oh now she's judging me, huh?? Try getting slimy feeling off your skin for a decade then we'll talk!
– I think I already went through that. You know, feeling haunted, with a mix of dread and regrets hanging over my shoulders. Does that mean we're even?
That makes him pause. Breaking eye contact his eyes search for something to focus on that isn't her face. The room is bare (but not exactly quiet, there's at least two more voices screaming at him that he's walking on eggshells, that he can't let her go, that he can't let her close, YOU KNOW HOW THAT WORKED OUT FOR YOU LAST TIME!!) except for ugly sofa that seen better days.
– Lemme think about it… Yeah, sure, alright, whatever, babes, water under the bridge! How about we start on a clean page instead? Just you and me, no interrupting family, some alcohol…
– Hold your horses, cowboy, I already feel insane just talking with you. I'm not adding alcohol to the mix.
– That's the best part, we're already mad! Your loss! Personally I wanna get wasted. And I'm not asking by the way but you're free to join me aaanytime!
With that he makes a 180 turn and beelines towards beaten sofa fishing a fancy-looking bottle out of thin air. Familiar looking bottle.
– Yeah, right. Wait, is this from my parents' stash?? Give it back!
He crashes on the sofa making it squeak under dead weight and flashes her a crooked smile full of teeth.
– Nooo way, doll, I think I deserve a vacation and a drink!
– Vacation?? Your last job was 30 years ago?!
– And I spend them in bureaucracy hell! Give me a break! You don't know what it's like!
– Actually I do.
That paints his face with genuine surprise like it's something he hasn't considered.
– Huh?
– Barbara and Adam.
– Hmmm? What did you dooo? :)
He leans forward, all smiles and all ears, like she's about to share latest gossip he missed out on.
– Found a loophole. Helped them move on.
– Ohohoo that's my girl! Do tell, do tell?
– There's not much to tell. They wanted a family. They raised me. And then I moved out. And then they moved on. But there was plenty of paperwork leading to that last part.
His smile falters but doesn't leave. Been there, seen that.
– Ah, boring happy ending for everyone but you, huh?
– Yeah, pretty much.
– …So do you want a drink or not?
– …Okay, fine.
That gets him excited all over again and he materializes a couple of glasses out of nowhere with fanfare like some sort of street magician. Both are filled with liquor (that was carefully saved for special occasions which happened never so now dead man is the one who gets to drink it all) and one is presented to her.
She accepts the drink but hesitates to try it. Looks back at her drinking partner, waiting.
– Right, we need a toast!
He rises his glass almost spilling its content over already sad looking sofa but catches it mid air last second. That makes Lydia laugh and she rises her own as well. Sound of her laughter makes him grin and he puffs out his chest for audience of one.
– For the living!
– And the dead.
– Cheers!
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diedbutterflies69 · 3 years
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Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.
Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.
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Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.
Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.
But god, how much wrong you were.
You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.
The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.
Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.
Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .
Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.
"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.
"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.
"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.
"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.
"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.
"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.
"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.
This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.
"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.
" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.
"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.
"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.
"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.
"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.
Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.
"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.
"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.
"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.
"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.
"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"
Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.
"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.
"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.
"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.
Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.
"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.
"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.
"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.
"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.
"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.
"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.
"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.
"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.
"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.
"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.
"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.
"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.
"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.
The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.
"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.
"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.
"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .
Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.
"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.
"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.
"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.
"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.
"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.
"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.
"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.
"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.
"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.
"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.
We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.
Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.
"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.
"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.
"Love you too", you replied softly.
"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.
"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.
"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.
"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.
"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.
"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.
"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.
" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.
"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.
"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.
"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.
"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.
Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.
"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.
"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.
"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.
"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.
After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.
"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.
"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.
"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.
322 notes · View notes
chateautae · 3 years
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the most wonderful time of the year | kth. (m)
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➵ summary :  taehyung hasn’t seen you since high school graduation, but when he finds himself in need of a date for his friend’s annual christmas party, running into you is like a godsend; especially when he once had feelings for you, and little did he know, you felt the same way all along.
➵ pairing : taehyung x reader
➵ genre :  nonidol!au, f2l, fluff, smut
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 19k
➵ warnings : mutual pining, sexual content, swearing, dom!tae, cuddling resulting in over the clothes stuff, rough fingering, oral (f. receiving), dirty talk, big dick!tae cause we know he’s packing, marking, restraint (with his own hands), choking, begging, unprotected sex (wrap it up peeps), hitting it from the back 😜, mirror (?) sex (reflection of a window), rough sex but then i love you sex, praising, slight humiliation, denied orgasm, creampie, aftercare
part of ksmutclub’s winter project 2020!, using prompt #7: “did everyone else come with a date?”
➵ a/n : thank you to @getmemyfries​ for beta-reading and constantly reassuring me about this fic, idk where she’s been all my life 😭, but surprise!! would you believe me if i told you guys i grinded this in just 3 days?? because YES i did, 19k in three days as a Christmas gift pretties, happy late holidays!!, comments and feedback are always appreciated <3
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“Are you serious, Jimin?” 
“Very. I don’t know how you didn’t get the memo, literally everyone was talking about it.” 
“Did everyone else come with a date? There has to be at least one person who didn’t.” 
“And that one person is you, Tae. Did you forget that I made the theme all about mistletoe? Who did you expect to kiss under it, me?” 
“Super funny, Jimin. I just got really busy and I don’t even think I was paying attention to you.” 
“Well, it’s your loss now, everyone came with a date and you’ll be third-wheeling the whole night. You can’t blame us either, it’s cuffing season and you know it.” 
“Do I really have to come? I’ll just spend Christmas with my family.” 
“And ruin their vacation with your annoying ass? What a lovely son, an even better best friend for ditching my party.” 
“Okay, Jimin, I get it. Just-fuck, alright, I’ll find someone. Please tell me you didn’t plan anything too couply in case I have to bring an absolute stranger.” 
“Hmm, I’ll think about it.” 
And Jimin cut the call without a second to spare. 
Taehyung stood there baffled, appalled by his best friend for not even having said goodbye. But then again, maybe he really deserved it. Taehyung had just become too busy with his job this year to even think about Jimin and his friends’ party, allowing it to inhabit the back of his mind and loom over him for weeks, though not giving it the time of day he should’ve. 
And now he’s stuck in a situation he doesn’t know how to get out of. The party is in just two days, how exactly was he supposed to find someone that would even agree to accompany him? 
One, they would have to be someone explicitly bored on Christmas Eve. Two, comfortable with meeting complete strangers and spending an entire night with them. Third, they would have to be willing to even fake-date him. 
Taehyung knew he could at least satisfy the third requirement with just a smidge of his charm and good looks, though the real issues were the other two requirements, especially the first one. 
Who the fuck is ever doing nothing on Christmas Eve? 
These are the exact thoughts that clouded Taehyung’s mind, sighing heavily as he dejectedly sauntered into a coffee shop after work. It wasn’t the usual place, but he decided on a new one in search of a possible partner; even if it were a stranger from a different coffee shop, he’d take what he could get. 
It’s precisely why he began scanning the room just enough to discern any potential date as he waited in line. With his hands in his pockets, lips buried into his plaid scarf that draped over his brown winter coat, and attempted to make eye contact with any female he thought eligible. 
He spotted some cute girls, though made quick judgements about them not fitting his requirements; some meeting boyfriends, family, yapping away about Christmas plans as though the whole store needed to hear about it.
Pulling out his phone, he considered he had some female friends, maybe co-workers he could convince to tag along. It sounded like a great idea in his head, though when he scrolled though his contacts carefully, he found himself coming up short once again. 
Not only had he seen his friends’ stories, all flaunting their very apparent Christmas plans, but even more so his co-workers having literally informed him about either flying back home, meeting family or easing up far, far away on a tropical beach. 
And he definitely knew there’d be no one available. 
All of it made Taehyung feel deflated once he had placed his order and waited patiently by the store’s counter. He thought he was royally fucked, needed to forego social etiquette and just ask a damn stranger at this point. 
Sighing yet again, he mindlessly looked over to the side, catching a glimpse of the person ordering after him with a voice he suddenly recognized. Taehyung’s eyebrows immediately shot to the sky once he took a double-take, a near injustice to say he was only shocked. 
He was practically floored, had to rub his eyes a few times just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Surely he’d lost it after the gruesome shift he just pulled at work, because he was pondering how in God’s name was he seeing you of all people ordering. 
How the hell did you manage to look 100x prettier than you used to, Taehyung thought. It was no doubt you; your smile still charming as ever, your hair still elegantly soft, your eyes still naturally sparkling under every Christmas light in the store just like they always did. 
It was really you. 
The same you he knew all throughout high school though moved away after graduation, the same you who was brilliant at every subject though could never understand math, the same you who waltzed into school with that plaid winter coat anyone could recognize you for, the same you who always teased him about his love for pineapple on pizza because you could never comprehend the taste. 
The same you he once liked.   
It was actually you, bundled up in a gray winter coat and white scarf as you smiled a thank you to the barista, eventually making your way over to the counter Taehyung was situated at, settling next to him without having noticed. 
Taehyung thought you were an angel sent from heaven, a Godsend, his one and only true saviour once he studied you up close, concluding that you weren’t just some mirage but in fact his real-life friend from years ago who could possibly rescue him from this Christmas party fuck up. 
And so he didn’t waste a single, valuable moment, because you know what they say, ‘carpe diem’, oh captain my captain. 
“Y/N Y/L/N? Is that you?”
Your surprised eyes snapped towards the oddly familiar low voice, eyebrows shooting up once you resgitered just who exactly said your name. You seemed to be in the same disbelief as Taehyung, himself utterly grateful you’d actually recognized him. 
“Oh my God, Kim Taehyung?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” Taehyung laughed shyly. “Damn, how long has it been? 5? 6 years?” 
“6 years, yeah.” You confirmed with a smile. “Since graduation.” 
“I can’t believe that was 6 years ago, seems just like yesterday.” Taehyung couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off his face remembering the chaotic party by the lake you all threw together, resulting in someone nearly drowning, Taehyung downing more alcohol than he ever had in his life, and you shamelessly shoving everyone into the water until you eventually capsized yourself. 
Taehyung had to collect himself to coherently speak sentences again, nearly feeling his neurons incessantly firing off in his brain. “But wow, when did you come back to town?” 
“3 months ago, I was transferred for work.” You informed casually, though your sweet smile was infectious. “Wow, I’m.. I can’t believe I ran into you here.” You were honestly still shocked, marveling at the fact you somehow bumped into Kim Taehyung, the Kim Taehyung from high school.  
The same Taehyung who teased you about being terrible at math, the same one who only ever brought strawberry jam sandwiches to school and God forbid someone ever took a bite. The same Taehyung who was the cute social butterfly everyone completely adored at school. 
The same Taehyung you once liked.   
“It doesn’t feel long indeed, but you look.. different.” You did a light scan of him, noticing just how how much taller, more handsome and manlier he appeared. It was reflected in the edge of his jawline, crisp face structure and broader upper body. 
Quite frankly, he looked incredibly striking, almost intimidatingly so, and you could only think about when Taehyung used to appear a little scrawnier, lankier though still attractive all the same with his adorable eyes and plushy lips. 
It was nearly daunting to see the gorgeous difference now. 
“You look different too.. good different.” He added with a smile as he looked you over, and it was pleasant to see he still had that same boxy smile, the same little creases at the corner of his eyes. Though instead now, his smile looked devilishly handsome, and it was hard to not trip over your own feet about it. 
“You too. You’re so much taller now.” You commented, craning your neck just to converse with him. 
“And you’re still short, huh?” 
Your mouth flew open, scandalized at the comment though laughed when he chuckled at your expression. “Oh c’mon, you’re still gonna tease me about how short I am? It’s been six years, Taehyung.” 
“Hey, don’t think it’s not payback for all those times you lectured me about how ‘inhuman’ liking pineapple on pizza was. I still have your PowerPoint presentations saved.” Taehyung retorted through a laugh, remembering the way you’d really take the time to conjure up presentations just so he could be  unconvinced of the preference. 
“Okay, okay. You got me. Is there ever a way I could make it up to you... Assistant Curator Kim?” You read the lanyard that hung around his neck, inspecting it to see his ID photo along with his job title. 
“Ah,” Taehyung exclaimed, scrambling for the lanyard. “I was in a rush to get out of work so I left it on by accident.” Taehyung explained a little embarrassed, unhooking it from around his neck. 
“Why were you in a rush?” You knitted your eyebrows together, only asking out of innocent curiosity, though Taehyung lit up like a Christmas tree, knowing this was his golden opportunity and he was definitely going to take his chance. 
“Uh.. do you still remember Park Jimin and the rest of our friends?” Taehyung started. 
“Oh my God, of course I do! You’re all still friends?”
“Unfortunately, yeah. I mean, even when we get tired of each other we know nobody else will put up with us, so we’re still close.” Taehyung snickered, remembering him and his friends were still the same 7 dorks from high school. 
“Awh, I wish I could see them, we used to have so much fun together.” You pouted, shoving your hands into your pockets as you recalled amusing memories from years ago; stupid adventures to the lake by your school, chasing the sunset, knowing you probably incessantly bothered the owner of that one gas station you always visited. 
“Actually, the reason why I was rushing was because Jimin holds an annual Christmas Eve party, and this time around he made it a ‘bring-a-date’ memo, and I kinda got too busy to remember.” Taehyung began scratching the back of his neck, a little shy considering he didn’t really listen to Jimin when he should’ve. 
“Ohh.” You nodded understandingly. “So you forgot to get a date?” 
“Yeah.” Taehyung confirmed, nodding with some disappointment in himself. “But say, you mentioned a favour, right?” Taehyung eyed you knowingly, hand never leaving his neck as he forced himself to get the question out. “Are you doing anything on Christmas Eve?” 
You were a little taken aback, thinking you knew exactly where he was going with this, and also thinking it was a damn Christmas miracle. You remembered your unfortunate situation for Christmas Eve; your parents having booked a cottage for themselves considering you’d be working that day, though gladly enough your boss decided it was the most wonderful time of the year, so why the fuck would he keep people hostage at work? 
It landed you with quite literally nothing to do on the joyous day, and excitement began to fill your chest already about your answer, though you composed yourself to appear normal. 
“No, actually. My parents are at a cottage together, so I was going to be home.” 
Taehyung could’ve been on cloud nine right about now, thanking God or whatever supreme being for answering his prayers. You’d literally checked off his every requirement perfectly, and now all that was left was...
“Would you like come to Jimin’s party as my date? I know it’s only in 2 days and it’s really sudden, but I’m kinda stuck right now and I promised Jimin I would come after finding someone, he’ll probably kick my ass if I don’t-” 
“I’d love to come.” You broke out into a grin at his adorable rambling, nearly giddy your assumption from before was exactly correct.
“Wait, seriously? You mean that?” Taehyung asked in wonderment. 
“Why would I lie to you, Taehyung?” You chuckled at the endearing way his face was lighting up, trying to ensure he couldn’t see the stars in your eyes as you looked at him.  
“Oh my God, you actually just.. saved my life.” Taehyung reveled, expression of utter gratitude. 
“Don’t mention it. It’s all I can do after making you sit through 10 minutes of me berating you for liking fruit on pizza. It’s still weird, by the way.” 
“Hey, don’t make me take your drink and ask you to jump for it.” Taehyung chastised, biting back a smile at the fact that you two still bickered like old times. 
“Fair point, so in two days, huh?” 
“Mhm. Can I get your number, actually? I’ll send you the details tonight.” Taehyung began digging for his phone in his pocket. 
“Oh, yeah of course.” You agreed as you went for yours. You both huddled a little closer to exchange the digits, trading phones and adding your names into each other’s contacts. It dawned a slight fuzzy feeling in your chest, getting a whiff of Taehyung’s masculine cologne and realizing in this proximity, just how incredibly ravishing Taehyung had in fact grown up, how much larger and broader he was in comparison to you. 
That he was a man now, not the quirky little dork you once knew, and that thought alone caused something to momentarily alight inside you. 
He was a man now. 
“Remember when we only had iPods and had to talk through our land lines?” Taehyung took a trip down memory lane and grounded you back to Earth, returning your phone to you. 
“Ah yes, when technology was just expanding and us 90′s kids were always caught in the weird middle.” You reminisced as he chuckled, recalling the older days. 
You were just finishing typing in your name for your contact, nearly clicking save until you decided to add the little bow emoji next to your name, handing Taehyung’s phone back to him. 
“A bow?” Taehyung inquired, finding it cute. 
“I deserve it, I’m your little Christmas present under your tree, aren’t I?” You flashed him a cute flower pose with a kittenish grin, the barista calling out Taehyung’s order just after. 
Taehyung could only smile widely, endeared you still had that same playful charm. “Yeah, you are.” He made for his drink and nabbed it, fixing his phone back into this pocket before addressing you. “I’ve gotta get going. I’ll see you in 2 days, okay? It was seriously great meeting you again. Y/N.” 
“You too, I’ll see you then!” You chimed with a wave as Taehyung began stepping away, almost turning from him until he suddenly called out to you one last time, just about through the door.  
“Thank you again, Y/N, I owe you, my Christmas present!” He shouted his last words through a stupid smile, you returning the same one as a welcome before Taehyung exited the shop. 
And you couldn’t stop yourself from breaking out into the goofiest grin then, cheeks hotter than you remembered. You were glad Taehyung was still the same charismatic, easily lovable person from high school, the same charm and adorable impishness about him. 
Only now, he was all grown up and matured, no longer the slightly awkward, though heartfelt kid who liked stealing your history notes. And you became a little afraid feeling the same flutter in your heart from 6 years ago, curious if it was just a momentary lapse upon seeing him again, or signaling the ignition of an old flame it took you years to forget. 
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Taehyung : remember to bring your competitive side today ;)
You : omg, what did jimin plan? 
Taehyung : you’ll have to wait and see 
Taehyung : jimin’s a creative one, remember? 
You : how could i forget? i’m never forgiving him for making me spend 3 hours writing calligraphy for that anthro project 😭
Taehyung : man, the guys are gonna love seeing you again
Taehyung : be there in 5! 
You : gotchu! 
You hated that you smiled so stupidly at your screen, never having forgotten the fluttery feeling Taehyung always managed to manifest in your stomach.
You clicked your phone screen off and checked over your outfit for the umpteenth time, wanting to look good not only for Taehyung (though that was the primary reason) but also for the rest of the crew. It’d seriously been too long since you last saw each other, having always been up to dumb shenanigans in high school though sadly parting ways after graduation. 
It was only inevitable with everyone’s future plans being so dissimilar, you having gone down the road of law and miraculously scoring a scholarship to a prestigious university a few towns over, spelling your departure from your beloved childhood city and therefore, goodbye to everyone you knew. 
You were glad the boys managed to remain so closely-knitted despite their different paths; Taehyung having clearly acquired a job at a museum considering his love for art. Last time you remembered, Jimin was an aspiring dancer, Hoseok was a natural at hospitality, Seokjin always rambled on about acting, Jungkook was gifted with a camera, Namjoon adored books and Yoongi wouldn’t trade music for the world. 
It was bittersweet recalling such memories, having to leave behind everything you knew to pursue your own dream. Bitter, though sweet knowing you had larger than life opportunities awaiting you. It was precisely what landed you your current job, working comfortably at a high-status law firm albeit stealing very much of your time. 
It was perfect, nonetheless, since the main office was located back home and you had just been transferred 3 months ago, finding your way back 6 years later. You didn’t know if the boys were still in town, had no real clue where their lives went with only stray social media posts indicating they were still alive and healthy. 
So running into Taehyung all of a sudden? It made you more than glad, remembering not only your fun times together as a group, but your comfortable friendship with him, and the undeniable feelings you’d developed overtime. 
Suffice to say, you both were quirky yet cute, and you made perfect sense. Not only did it land you two a supportive relationship full of laughs and teasing, but also numerous instances where someone’s actions or behaviour became suggestive, questioned the borders of actual friendship between you though nobody willing to take the leap, and it left all your friends inquiring exactly when you two would start dating. 
Though that was the sad part, you never did. And the reason why? You have no real clue. It simply never dawned on you to express your feelings towards Taehyung in fear of him not feeling the same, thinking your crush was just a phase and you’d eventually view him as a friend again, a process of denial you repeated for the 4 grueling years of high school.
Though the second you realized you’d have to say goodbye so soon, with the possibility you’d never see him again, you realized Taehyung was the one boy you truly loved, and sometimes questioned if you still did. 
It hurt to have to hug him one last time before you disconnected, remembering the way you cried having to part from everyone, and Taehyung held you against him until your eyes dried, waving an innocent goodbye before you rounded the corner of your street and disappeared forever. 
To this day you haven’t got a clue if Taehyung ever felt the same, always chalking up his little lingering touches, hugs and double entendres to his naturally flirtatious and outgoing nature. It hindered your ability to say anything, thinking over the years maybe your non-confessional departure was an enormous mistake. 
So when you heard the doorbell of your apartment ring, in the five minutes Taehyung promised, your heart couldn't help but leap at the thought you’d see him again, meet all your old friends and spend an entire festive, fun-filled night with them. 
You made for the door without a second thought and pulled it ajar, meeting Taehyung’s somehow more stunning self all ready to go. He’d decided today to dress with a tan plaid coat, black turtle neck poking out from underneath paired with black slacks to match; and you realized Taehyung definitely invented the all-black look. 
Sources? You. 
You almost gawked, his hair set to reveal some forehead though curl just before his eyebrows, and it was evilly handsome. He was evilly handsome. 
You remembered he was standing right in front of you, thinking a good moment has passed since you uttered anything, a warm smile as you addressed him. “Hi.” 
“Hi.” He greeted back, scanning over you, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered for a second on your legs. You’d gone for your same gray coat, though surprisingly with an all black outfit underneath as well, cute wrap around dress with a v line dipping just generously enough, all paired with pantyhose. 
Who cares about a little cold when you want to look cute anyway, right? 
“We’re matching, it’s cute.” He complimented, his smile just a little impish as it met your chest momentarily though flashed back up to you. 
“I guess you’re cute too.” You shrugged, nearly hiding your face under his scrutiny. 
“We should get going, m’lady. Jimin’ll chew my head off if I’m late too.” Taehyung feigned a sophisticated tone, turning aside and holding out his arm for you to loop like a gentleman. 
You chuckled just a little and clutched your side bag, hooking onto his arm as you switched the lights of your apartment off and shut the door behind you. 
“Now would the kind sir tell me what we’re doing today?” You inquired as Taehyung began walking you down the hallway, peering at his God-like side profile. “You’ve been so mysterious about it.” 
Taehyung clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Now what’s the point of a surprise if I tell you?” 
“But why is it a surprise? Don’t tell me it’s something ridiculous like rock climbing.” You playfully scolded, trying to keep up with his long strides as he led you towards the elevator. 
“Maybe it’s just to see the way your face will light up when you find out.” Taehyung suggested with narrowed eyes as he looked down at you, you staring back at him in scrutiny until you both snickered. 
And as you entered the elevator arm in arm with him, maybe you felt that same skip of your heartbeat from years ago. 
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“Holy shit, Y/N Y/L/N? Is that you?” Jimin’s face was utterly surprised, his warm, puppy eyes you remember too well wide as he held the door open.
“Of course it is, Park Jimin!” You cheered as you held your arms out for a hug, his gentle arm wrapping around your torso as he beamed.
“The guys are not gonna believe this, I gotta tell em’. Come in, come in!” Jimin ushered you and Taehyung inside, redirecting his attention to the beautiful, open space condo he called his humble abode. “Guys! Come to the front, look who’s here!”
You and Taehyung were propping your boots off when people eventually came piling into the front foyer and responding to Jimin absentmindedly. All were similarly unsuspecting their eyes widened when landing on you, sounding the next slew of hilarious commentary you’d missed too damn much. 
“No way, is that Y/N?”
“Holy fuck, Y/N?”
“Y/N, we thought you left town, when did you come back?”
“Taehyung, how the hell did you find her?”
“Even better, how the fuck did he get her to come as his date?” It was Jungkook who made the quip that elicited everyone’s snickering, yourself simply overwhelmed by the amount of memories that came back just by the sound of their quite manlier now, though familiar voices.
They all still had the same charming features, each of them reminiscent of their teenaged selves, but the difference? Now they were polished into captivatingly good-looking men you were baffled to even know at this point. 
“Oh my God, it’s been 6 years, just let me hug you guys!” You excitedly gestured for them to come to you, friendly smiles all around as you embraced and reunited. 
“Jungkook, why wouldn’t she agree? You trying to say something?” Taehyung didn’t let the earlier insult go, eyebrows quirked as he retorted.
“Dude, Y/N has always been out of your league.” Yoongi added.
“And honestly, now she’s even more out of your league.” Seokjin joined the teasing and it erupted another bout of cackling from the group, you only left to shyly scrunch your nose and giggle.
“Okay, okay, let’s move from standing here, yeah? There’s a party and 6 years worth of catching up to do!” Jimin chimed, chastising everyone huddled by the corridor and allowing you and Taehyung to settle into the home.
Jimin was still the meticulous perfectionist you knew back then, his home adorably charmed with Christmas decorations that made his place feel incredibly warm. His pretty Christmas tree in the corner with some gifts wrapped underneath, his fireplace adorned with pretty stockings, even the small trinkets scattered around were reminding your sadly adult-self that it was indeed Christmas, and it’s meant to be jolly. 
It automatically created an atmosphere of festivity, and catching sight of the dates each friend brought moving about, it only felt more like the holidays with 14 people occupying the home. 
You were marveling with a wide smile at the scene before you, everyone moving back into the house to resume what they were previously doing until you suddenly felt someone’s hands hook onto the neck collar of your jacket from behind. You whirled around in an instant with seeking eyes, viewing the culprit was none other than the only owner of the largest, most slender hands you still found incredibly attractive.
Goddamn you.
“Sorry, I’ll just take your jacket for you.” Taehyung realized he may have startled you. 
“Oh!” You exclaimed, hurriedly shredding off the layer not having noticed you were still wearing it. “I could put it away myself though, give me yours.”
You reached for Taehyung’s jacket in his hands, though he immediately jut the jacket further away from you in protest. “No, no. You’re my date, I’m taking it.”
“But Tae-”
“Hey, you’re my present, remember? You deserve it.” Taehyung mimicked you from your exchange at the coffee shop, you ultimately acquiescing as a result.
“Fine.” You rolled your eyes playfully, though a laugh was pulling at you all the same. “What would you be, though?” You asked out of curiosity. “If I’m the present, what are you?” 
Taehyung toyed with your question in his thoughts until he chose the perfect answer, lips growing into a smirk as he drew closer to your face a little. “The one who gets to open it up.”
Something shot through you that was alarming, his cocked eyebrow indicative he was being suggestive, and you played it off with a scoff. “It’s not even Christmas morning yet, and I know you’re just the goodest little boy on Earth who’d wait until he can open his presents.” You clasped your hands together, condescendingly feigning innocence. 
“Or maybe you just never got to know, Y/N.” Taehyung then suddenly leaned down much closer to your face, inches from you as he looked into your eyes. “I haven’t always been a good boy.” 
Taehyung was boring something undistinguishable into you, though the double meaning of his words left apparent heat in the air between you. 
And here it fucking was again, those same double entendres Taehyung had always shot your way though you always took it as him simply fooling around, so you always joined in with your own jokes, assuming the same approach now.  
“Hmm, we’ll see about that, Good boy. Santa’s watching.” You countered as you patted his chest sarcastically, causing Taehyung to stand to his full height biting his lip. 
He stared at you for a moment before walking away, noticing how long his legs were and the unfair curve of his ass, and you suddenly gained a new feature of his to ogle at. He eventually disappeared and you breathed, temporarily forgetting you had a dumb habit of holding your breath whenever he was so close; his piney with a hint of ocean breeze cologne having been left behind, and hitting you like a truck just as much as his all black outfit did. 
God fucking dammit. 
You decided to ignore your intrusive thoughts and waltz into the party instead, grabbing yourself a drink and eventually making your way towards some of the boys’ pretty dates. It was refreshing to feel the presence of women, thanking the Heavens they were all relatively sweet and amicable. 
Conversation always came easy to you, what with being a lawyer who has to be a master with words anyway, so it wasn’t difficult to not only befriend some of the girls, but also reconnect with the boys merrily, Taehyung by your side. 
“Y/N, how dare you not contact any of us about coming back?” Hoseok asked, a little upset timbre in his tone. 
“Yeah, I’m actually a little hurt you ended up coming with Tae of all people. After all the books I shared with you?” Namjoon feigned disappointment, a hand to his heart in near heartbreak. 
“Dude, what’s wrong with her coming with me? Not my fault you gave her boring ass books.” Taehyung defended.
“Tae, you’d steal her history notes for fuck’s sake.” Namjoon countered with narrowed eyes. 
“Guys, it’s been years. I just thought it’d been too long, so I didn’t say anything.” You stopped them, sadly remembering the way communication dwindled out the more you all progressed in your life. 
“Look, you’re always welcomed, Y/N. You think I’d forget the girl who pulled an all-nighter just to edit my shitty final essay for English? I told you I’d write your name on my damn tombstone when I got an 80.” Seokjin laughed with a glass of eggnog, though supportive in his remark and it made you reminisce. 
“I have no clue to this day how you passed English on just Sparknotes. Jungkook hated English more than you and he still managed to actually read 1984.” You chastised him like old times, though now it was a memory that brought a smile to your face. 
“Look, I wasn’t interested in knowing the asshole motives of Big Brother and the 3-minute hate speech.” Seokjin defended himself. 
“2-minute, and it was still a good book.” 
“You’re telling me 60 pages of that dumb manifesto Winston found was good?” Taehyung perked up with crossed arms, quirking his eyebrows at you in incredulousness.  
“Oh c’mon, you learn the entire history of the Party and all their bullshit.” 
“And you’re still a nerd, I see.” Taehyung ticked his head to the side with his snarky remark. 
“Oh shut up, I got a better mark than you on the final essay anyway.” You rolled your eyes. 
“Doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a nerd.” Taehyung countered. 
You gave a disapproving, scrutinizing look as you marched your way over to Jimin’s Christmas tree, comically gesturing to the Balsam Fir beside you. “I’m literally your Christmas present under the tree, Taehyung, you have to be nice to me.” You chastised him though it only made the boys looking on crack up. 
“Y/N, you’re still hilarious as fuck.” Hoseok was lighting up with laughter, his pretty giggles sounding in a way that honestly made you giggle in the end too, Taehyung only letting up because you were just so you, and it tugged at his heart strings.
“Speaking of Jungkook from earlier, where is he? I just remembered the math notes he owes me his life for.” You perked up, gauging his presence around in the condo. 
“He’s over there eating the chocolate chips, yah, Jungkook! Stop it!” Seokjin scolded from across the room where Jimin and Yoongi were bustling about in the kitchen, and you became confused hearing the mention of chocolate chips. 
“Chocolate chips? I mean, I’m not complaining, but that’s quite the eccentric choice for party food.” You held up your hands in mock surrender. 
“Oh, Taehyung didn’t tell you? It’s for the competition later.” Namjoon informed, though you only furrowed your eyebrows. 
“Competition?” 
“Yeah, baking competition. Jimin planned a couple’s one for his mistletoe theme. I’m beating all your asses, by the way. I’m a genius at decorating.” Hoseok folded his arms with a self-satisfied expression. 
“Please, my girlfriend and I hold weekly bake-offs, watch yourselves, losers.” Seokjin calmed everyone down with his own greatness, you simply becoming beyond excited. 
You turned to Taehyung in an instant, expression completely telling of wonder as you inquired with a high-pitched tone. “Tae, you didn’t tell me we were having a baking competition, that’s so cool!” You beamed, elatedly looking towards Jimin and Yoongi preparing ingredients.  
“Taehyung’s a cryptic one, remember?” Namjoon joked, trying to stifle a laugh with a hand over his mouth, and Taehyung immediately defended himself.
“Shut up, hyung.” He sounded offended, though the smile tugging at his lips indicated after years of friendship, he’d never actually grow vexed at his admirable friend. 
Taehyung then met your eyes, smile growing more apparent, warmer. “I told you it was to see the way your face would light up, didn’t I?” He tilted his head to the side then, eyes playfully studying you as he confirmed his observation. “Yup, your eyes totally still sparkle the same.” 
You couldn’t help but fill with another wave of fuzziness, feeling as though Taehyung always knew how to make your insides all giddy, and maybe even thinking what’s so wrong if your feelings really were coming back? 
You could only smile sheepishly at him, the rest of the boys knowingly watching the two of you like they have for years, everyone only falling out of the trance of the moment when Jimin’s voice called out from the kitchen.  
“Alright Martha Stewarts, who’s starting the ass-kicking?” 
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“Hyung! That’s not fair, you can’t steal from us!” Jungkook scolded him as you watched the mania in front of you, Seokjin and his girlfriend Sa-Ha vs. Jungkook and his date Mira. It was becoming devastatingly hilarious, both teams only having 1 minute left until their cookies had to be plated in tip-top shape, all scrambling to create the best-looking ones. 
“I can and I will, you stole from us first!” Seokjin rebutted him, Jimin raising his voice to signal how much left time was. 
“30 seconds you guys, make it count!” And it was another catastrophic seconds until the timer went off, both teams exhausted and complaining all the same about their hard time fueled by Jin and Jungkook’s endless bickering. 
It was laughs for the few of you looking on, waiting your turns until Jimin’s date Song-i chose from the hat of pairings, your eyes going wide once she called out your name with Taehyung’s against Hoseok and his date. 
“Oh my God, Tae, that’s us!” You grabbed his arm alarmed, seeming nervous and it caused him to look at you. 
“Why are you so nervous? We’ll do great.” 
You scoffed at him in protest. “Taehyung, you did horrible in home ec, we’re gonna lose!” 
“Hey, I’ll make you jump for the ingredients, have some faith, will you?” Taehyung retorted, grabbing you by your hand and dragging you over to one of the two counters Jimin’s grand condo had to offer. 
“We’re taking you guys down on decorations, I’m a genius.” Hoseok gloated from his counter, tying his apron as he eyed you. 
“I have a curator on my team, Hobi, we’re beating you.” You scrutinized him with an angry pout as he stuck his tongue out, you whirling back around to adjust your apron. 
“Okay everyone, aprons on?” Jimin inquired, you having put on yours though watching Taehyung struggle with figuring out the apparently rocket-science contraption. 
You sighed with a laugh until you grabbed it from his hands, helping him out. “It’s like this, Tae.” You got on your tippy-toes to situate the apron around his neck as he bent down for you, the contrast of your heights always having made Taehyung a little weak. 
He was only left to watch you as you fixed the apron onto him, finding himself not even watching anymore, but straight up gazing, admiring. 
Admiring the way your eyes were always in a state of perpetual sparkle, your small lips he never forgot the amount of times he contemplated kissing, your dress revealing your collarbones and chest that beckoned for him to just tear it off, all weakening him even more so.
What made him even weaker, however, was noting the way you’ve matured into a woman after 6 years. 
A very beautiful, attractive woman. 
Your body had always been art to him, but now you were polished into a masterpiece he desired to adore, run his hands all over. Your face structure was more evened out, hair set to fall elegantly upon your shoulders and neck so utterly inviting it all added a sense of sexy maturity to you. 
It was distracting, Taehyung venturing off on the thought you were a woman now, not the innocent, sweet nerd he once knew, and it constantly began to rack his brain when he felt something course through his veins about it. 
Because you used to be so painfully innocent, so naturally a girl next door he couldn’t help but want to taint sometimes, to ruin and unravel for his own. He could even feel it with every time your smaller hands touched his body as you worked the apron guilelessly, wanting to snatch up your wrists instead and do unspeakable things, especially with that fucking dress on his mind. 
What made it all worse is that Taehyung could tell you only acted guileless, and never actually were. You also made your own suggestive comments, always caught his drift and he could tell you weren’t the innocent little thing you appeared to be. 
 Taehyung was so completely lost he heard you suddenly calling his name. 
“Taehyung, are you listening?” 
He blinked. “Huh?” 
“You have to listen to what I say, okay? Just follow my instructions and we’ll win against them.” You made little fists in the air to encourage him, Taehyung mimicking the action. 
“Y-yeah. I will, let’s do this.” You turned around after smiling sweetly, fixing some of the utensils on the counter and completely unsuspecting of Taehyung’s thoughts. 
That even after 6 years apart, after thinking he’d successfully forgotten about you, there was still something that pulled at his heart every time he saw you smile, every time you were ever near him. 
And he came to the conclusion maybe his feelings really haven’t changed from 6 years ago. 
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“Taehyung, can you pass me the butter, please?” You asked urgently, whisking away at your bowl of almost-there cookie dough with Taehyung hovering around you as he watched. 
“Got it.” He returned with some of the butter, you struggling to scoop some of it until Taehyung reached out for the block. “Here, let me do it and you whisk.” 
“No, you’ll end up putting in too much. Let me do it.” You nudged him with your elbow, picking at the butter. 
“But you’re already whisking, just let me take it out.” Taehyung protested as he reached, though you blocked him right away.  
“No, Tae, remember we decided I’m on baking and you’re on decorating?” 
“Your job is way harder than mine and I’m useless right now, let me at least whisk.” Taehyung grabbed for the bowl until you snatched it away from him, already done with scooping the butter when the action caused some of the flour to fly up on your dress, gasping scandalously. 
“Taehyung!” You whined, Taehyung scrambling for a quick apology. 
“Oh fuck, Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” Taehyung almost completed until a splash of flour went hurtling onto his shirt, causing him to look down with his mouth agape. “You did not just throw flour on my black turtleneck.” 
“You got flour on my black dress first, you tree.” Your eyebrows were set hard as you scolded him, still loosely whisking away at the cookie dough. 
“It was by accident, you half-pint.” Taehyung rebutted, trying to bat the flour off himself.
“Then mine was an accident too.” You mocked him, unsuspectingly whisking again when flour suddenly hit your chest, offended to find Taehyung snickering with it all over his hand. 
“That was an accident, too.” 
“You’re so...” You huffed out as you placed the bowl down and grabbed your own handful of flour, just about to throw it on Taehyung when is large palms came up to snatch your wrists, forcing your arms back as he snickered. 
“Taehyung, this is unfair!” You complained, struggling against his hold. 
“It’s an accident.” Taehyung mimicked with a genuine laugh watching you scramble in his hold, until the smile wiped off his face shortly after when you simply released the flour from your palm and it spilled all over his turtleneck. 
Your cheeks puffed up trying to contain your laughter, Jimin’s own giggling fit sounding and you remembered he was monitoring the competition. “Taehyung, you dumbass, you had that shit coming.” He held his stomach, entire body laughing at his best friend. 
You were giggling along with Jimin until Taehyung had had enough, licking his lips with mischief. 
“That’s it, come here.” He then spun you around and engulfed you with his arms from behind, holding you snug to his chest as you tried to escape him alarmingly, knowing what Taehyung was going to do next. 
“Taehyung please, wait, I beg of you, don’t!” And it was already too late when you felt his long fingers begin to tickle at your sides, your incessant protests melding with giggles along with his beautiful laughter filling the kitchen. 
You continued to fight against his hold, the constant feather-like touches making you reel and breath leave your lungs. “Taehyung, stop! Oh my God,” you struggled through a laugh while he nuzzled his face into your hair. “I’ll die, Taehyung, please!” 
“Nope, this is what you get.” Taehyung continued his onslaught as he held you tighter, you beginning to acquiesce in order to reason with him.  
“Okay, okay, look. We’re running out of time!” You tried controlling your laughter, tears pricking at your eyes as you tried to calm down. “We have to beat Hobi and Ah-yeong or else we’ll lose!” 
His amused voice sounded near your ear, still reprimanding you. “I’ll only stop if you say sorry.” 
“Alright, I’m sorry!” You were grabbing at his wrists for release. “I didn’t mean it, just stop tickling me!” You protested with a giggle until you felt his fingers rest, rather exchanging it for simply encasing you. 
“Good girl, you’re getting on Santa’s nice list.” Taehyung joked. 
You could only sigh as you resupplied oxygen to your lungs, moving towards the bowl. “Okay, let’s get back to work before we lose.” You puffed out air, breaths levelling as you returned to the counter and grabbed the whisk and bowl, only to find Taehyung hadn’t retracted his arms yet. 
He instead remained behind you, reaching for the utensils in your hands, his large ones grasping them along with you and the contrast of his broad body enclosing your smaller one made you feel something in your core.
Your eyes widened in surprised when his head unexpectedly found your shoulder, resting his chin there as he peered down at the bowl before you, you sputtering. “Taehyung, w-what are you doing?”
“Helping you, is there a problem?” The deep cadence of his voice was just by your ear, dangerous for your health. 
“N-no. But it’s okay, I’m fine on my own-” 
“Nope, this is the least I can do for you..” Taehyung’s tone seemed to trail off suddenly, having calmed down from his laughter and you found him speaking in earnest. “You’re my Christmas present I dragged all the way here with me, remember?” 
You could only smile sympathetically as you looked to your side, eyes welcomed by his gorgeous side profile on full display just centimeters from you. It made you realize just how close he was, his warmth engulfing you and it caused little sparks to fly inside your chest.  
“It’s not so bad, Taehyung. You’re just a good boy who needed his little Christmas present.” You teased light-heartedly, proud of your remark until Taehyung suddenly turned towards your ear, ghosting the shell of it with an unexpectedly darker tone, low and down right gruff.
“I’m not always a good boy.” He stated it simply, though the hot baritone in his words oddly left your spine cold, freezing over even more when Taehyung then wrapped his arms entirely around your torso, pulling your back to his chest. He did it so tightly you could suddenly feel your ass pressed to his covered length, oddly contradicting how couple-like you two probably appeared and it was goddamn intoxicating. 
You panicked at first but eventually basked in his hold, mustering the courage to speak with a suggestive tone. “I’m not always a good girl, either.” 
You threw it out there, cheeks slightly heating adding your own double entendre, though the way Taehyung suddenly tensed for a second had you feeling more confident, the puff of air he sucked in apparent. 
The conversation only ended with a satisfied hum from Taehyung as he watched you bake, a nice rumble that reverberated from his chest and into your back, feeling an odd arousal spike all the way down to your toes. 
It was already lethal with his pretty hands holding around your waist, the closeness an added thrill. It made your chest fill with something riveting, almost anticipatory of what all of this meant between you two, excited for wherever this night would truly go. 
It wasn’t long before it came time for Taehyung to plate and decorate the cookies, carefully placing his little embellishments he swore were the cream of the crop as you bickered with him, your incessant teasing resulting in you hugging him from behind while he worked. 
And Taehyung knew he was doomed the second he felt your very obvious chest press into his back, his nerves pumping carnally as he then felt a side of him he’s always hid from you escape its reigns. 
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It was damn transparent Seokjin and his girlfriend would win, their exquisite baking and cooking skills having created masterpieces everyone dug into happily. It’d won them the choice of what movie everyone would watch tonight along with a dinner that the losers, surprisingly not you and Taehyung, but Namjoon and his date would have to pay for. 
Everyone was now seeking comfortable positions for the movie around the TV while you were last minute cleaning with Jimin in the kitchen, offering your help after the mess you and Taehyung made with your little flour mishap. 
Taehyung had properly gotten rid of the flour on his sweater, now lounging on an armchair in the living room with his phone in hand. You felt yourself glancing towards him more than you should’ve, reprimanding yourself each time though found yourself doing it nonetheless. 
It was just hard to keep your eyes off him when Taehyung was the epitome of a Greek God, questioning how such a being is allowed to walk among us commoners. His chiseled jawline was far too handsome for his own good, his neck sculpted so perfectly it left you you wondering what it would feel like to mark him up all over, and the way his long legs were manspreading before him was so inviting the sight alone made you figuratively drool. 
And fall even harder. 
You didn’t realize you were ogling until Jimin’s hushed voice pulled you out of your reverie. “You’re staring.” 
You blinked. “What?” 
Jimin chuckled as he continued to wipe the counter one last time. “It’s been 6 years, why don’t you just say something?” 
“There’s nothing to say, Jimin.” You tried brushing him off, though Jimin didn’t buy it. 
“My ass, Y/N. You really think after what happened in the kitchen there’s nothing between you two?” 
“I don’t know, it’s just how Taehyung is.” You concocted an excuse, deflating as you did so.  
Jimin shook his head in disapproval. “It’s been like this since high school, Y/N, why didn’t you just tell Taehyung how you felt?” 
You looked at him in earnestly before softening into a sigh, knowing Jimin was really the only person you ever spilled your feelings for his best friend to. 
“Because I was scared, Jimin. You know how hard it was for me to even admit it to you.” You answered with a quiet voice, scrapping the flour you threw at Taehyung into the garbage. 
“But Y/N, you two... the way you are. What were you so afraid of?” Jimin’s sweet, pacifying voice asked, clearly having been rooting for you both ever since you fessed up. 
“Rejection, Mimi. Even if we’re like that...” You trailed, thinking over your relationship with Taehyung. “What if it’s all only a joke on his end? Taehyung has always been naturally flirty.. and we’re friends. I don’t think I’m any different than a conquest.” 
Jimin understood your point, though made it his own to advise you otherwise, washing out the cloth in the sink. “Y/N, that’s only what you believe.” His eyes told you of genuine support, offering like the comfort fairy he’s always been. “Just because you believe something, doesn’t make it true.” 
And that damn well hit home for you, realizing that maybe you’ve really been in your head too much about this, overthinking by creating doubts and excuses in your head to subdue your fear of confessing to Taehyung, to avoid the hurt of rejection but possibly missing an entire opportunity. 
“You should tell him, Y/N. It’s been long enough, you’ll never know how he feels if you don’t try.” 
You became apprehensive. “But how do you know if he’ll feel the same way?” Jimin could only chuckle to himself, his smile radiant as he found you the most innocent, yet funnily oblivious thing on Earth. 
“Look at the way he acts around you, Y/N.” Jimin advised. “He’s my best friend, and I’ve never seen him like that with anyone except you. Conquests are conquests, but you’re you, and that’s different to him.” 
Your mind instantly went into a frenzy, thinking well fuck, Jimin is Taehyung’s best friend, and he’s telling you that all this time Taehyung has never really enacted the same behaviour and energy with anyone expect you? This whole time? What does he mean you’re different? You’re.. different to him? Aren’t you just his female friend he’s known since ninth grade, and so surely there’s nothing but the added value of history there, right? 
Right?
You were only left to digest Jimin’s words as you placed the dustpan back to its original spot, Jimin finishing up with the sink. The conversation ended there, Jimin guiding you back to the living room and nestling himself next to his date. You were distracted with Jimin’s suggestions until you walked into the space and realized there was nowhere for you to sit, the couples perfectly paired up and occupying all the available space. 
Your entrance is what made Taehyung snap his vision to you from his phone, watching your confused face contemplating where to sit until he whispered to you, motioning towards himself on the armchair furthest from the screen and tucked behind the other couches. “Y/N, come here.” 
You studied his placement, on a singular armchair with his lap very much open. You shivered at the sight, though protested in a hushed tone realizing the chair could really only fit him. “There’s nowhere for me to sit.” 
Taehyung then spread his legs a little further apart and tapped his thigh, revealing some space for you to sit.. on him. “You can sit here.” 
You were glad the lights were turned off, just so Taehyung didn’t have to see the blush that rose to your cheeks when you answered. “Um, o-okay.” 
You then ambled over to him in front of the rather comfy looking armchair, thanking God everyone was too distracted bickering over Seokjin’s movie choice to pay attention to you both. 
“Are you.. sure about this?” You managed to get out, mind going feral over the fact that one of your previous thoughts was actually manifesting itself, nearly chickening out. 
“Mhm, just sit on me.” Taehyung offered casually, his expression unreadable and ultimately making you doubt Jimin’s advice from before, realizing that Taehyung has always been a hard person to read, which is why you could never tell how he felt about you, shutting your trap about damn love confessions. 
You didn’t respond and rather tentatively made it to the take your seat, the seat that was Taehyung’s fucking lap. You placed your ass on his thigh with your legs thrown over him, angling yourself so that the temple of your head rested against his shoulder. 
Though it proved to be lethal in seconds, his cologne now completely flooding your nostrils and the thin skirt of your dress leaving much of your clothed core feeling the muscle of his thigh. 
You felt Taehyung tense underneath for a second as you adjusted the skirt of your dress over your own thighs, smoothing it over properly as your hands then clasped in your own lap. 
Taehyung was glad you didn’t have the ability to read his mind, because the second he realized everyone was naturally pairing up to cuddle with their dates, it would only mean you two would have to do the same. So when you paddled over, standing before him in that cute dress he’s been wanting to tear off you this entire party, he was more than thrilled to offer his lap as your seat. 
But when you actually sat on him, your ass and hints of your core against his thigh with your tempting legs draped over him, he was continuously beginning to think dangerously, salaciously. 
He tried to keep his breathing leveled, though the second he felt you adjust against him and your covered center press onto him, he knew he would never survive whatever fucking movie everyone eventually settled on. 
When it finally began to play, Taehyung snaked his arms around your waist and held you to him, feeling your breath hitch for the tiniest second before you relaxed. 
And it damn well thrilled him. 
The movie was beginning to progress now, Taehyung and yourself in the same comfortable position until you yawned and snuggled more into him, a hand coming up to drape across his chest and head finding shelter closer into his neck. 
Taehyung tensed again, feeling every breath you took with the weight of your smaller body on top of him, mind racing with thoughts he couldn’t keep quiet anymore. 
And especially when you shifted your ass a little against his leg, he twitched with something so much more carnal, blood pumping somewhere it shouldn’t and this time, Taehyung didn’t really feel like holding back anymore. 
His hands suddenly faltered, his palms coming to singularly rest against one of your thighs, clasping it slightly. He knew there was nothing but your leg with only pantyhose as a barrier for your skin, sending currents through his veins thinking you could definitely feel his every touch. 
You nearly jolted when Taehyung’s hands met the meat of your thigh, the placement shooting more arousal through you than it should’ve. 
You were calm until Taehyung suddenly inched his hand towards the inner part of your thigh, making your core clench and hand clutch his sweater to contain the electricity it sent. 
You’ve always had such dirty thoughts about what Taehyung’s hands could do, the slenderness and length of his fingers always revving your imagination. So to have his fingers just on the inside of your thigh, sitting in his lap as he seemed to be teasing, was enough to send your brain spiraling. 
Your scandalous thoughts made you shift against him to experimentally feel the friction, your core grinding against his thigh for a moment and Taehyung’s breath immediately hitched. His grip on you tightened and his hold tensed, had you suppressing the feeling of making a sound. 
He slid more inward, closer to the prize he was seeking and you could only hide your face into the junction of his neck at the way your pussy felt butterflies. It made you squish your thighs together to feel something, and God fuck, was the tension between you two so searing you could feel it radiating off Taehyung’s body. 
It’s what made whispering slowly against him flow easily, quiet so as not to alarm anyone in the living room. 
“I thought you were a good boy, Tae. What are you doing?” Your voice was sultrier than you planned, and it wasn’t chastising him at all, rather teasing for something more. 
You could only feel the rise and fall of Taehyung’s chest underneath you as he contained himself, the cuddling leaving you to feel his every micro-movement when he responded. 
“I thought you were a good girl, what are you doing?” Taehyung’s voice was low and deep, the vibration coursing through your body and it only invited you to become hornier. 
“Guess I’m not a good girl after all.” 
Taehyung made a sound as though scoffing, dangerous in its tone. 
“Guess I’m not a good boy, either.” And just after, Taehyung inched his fingers even closer to your clothed core, making the slightest of contact on your slit through the material of your dress and you practically twitched in his hold, sucking in a breath as you clasped onto the fabric of his shirt. 
“You have no idea..” Taehyung suddenly spoke up, voice laden with something hungry, hot. “what I’ve always thought about doing to you.” 
You could only jolt in his lap, more of his cologne meeting your nose and it caused you to suppress a sound by stuffing your face into his neck. “What.. have you thought about?” 
Taehyung then suddenly cupped your sex over your clothes, making you grapple onto his neck and bite back a moan so hard you had to breathe through your nose. 
“How I want to ruin you.” Taehyung’s low baritone and rough palm rubbing teasingly against your now aching pussy left you gushing, arousal racking the bottom of your stomach you were almost afraid of how easy it was for him. 
Your breath was shallower now, trying to compose yourself by egging him on. “You’d want to ruin an innocent girl like me?”
“I know you’re not innocent, princess.” Taehyung asserted with the slightest growl to his tone, thankful your seat was positioned behind the rest of the others so nobody could see what was going on. 
“Only when it comes to you.” Your seductive voice beckoned lust to course through Taehyung, breathing out hot air. “What else?” You suddenly croaked out. 
Taehyung hummed lowly into your ear, his palm smoothing over your cunt in ways that had you screwing your eyes shut. “How I want to make you beg.” He purposefully pressed harder against your clit, had you scratching into the column of his throat. “Make you scream my name.”   
You gushed your arousal even more, breathless with your words. “I bet you say that to everyone.”
Taehyung chuckled dismissively, dipping his head lower to whisper darkly into your ear. 
“I only say that to pretty little things I want to ruin, and you’re the prettiest little thing I know.” 
Your breath came out in a weighty puff, sighing satisfyingly against him as you snaked your hand from his neck down to the hardening length in his pants. You grazed your palm over his clothes and he twitched almost violently, biting back his hiss with a strong grip against your thigh with his free hand. You grew proud, speaking up when it boosted your ego. 
“I’d love to see you try.” 
And that was when the pads of Taehyung’s fingers pressed into your clothed cunt so euphorically you were seconds from letting out a moan, Taehyung cupping his palm over your mouth to silence you. 
“Shh.” Taehyung sounded by your ear. “Can’t let everyone hear my girl, now can I?” He hushed you huskily, leaving you to sigh your arousal into his large palm and eternally grateful the movie’s volume was loud enough to mask your talking.
Taehyung then began the slowest circular ministrations on your clit, shooting continuous pleasure through your body as you clutched your hand onto his wrist holding your mouth, urgently trying to suppress moans he was easily milking out of you. 
It felt like sparks, continuous sparks in your covered pussy as Taehyung rubbed against your folds, gliding down to your slit and teasing your throbbing hole. 
The mere prospect of his fingers shoving inside you made you wet beyond comprehension, only digging little crescents into his forearm with muted moans. It was sickening how easily he had you turned on, how easily you were getting riled up by just his fingers, and so you mustered the strength to lightly stroke his cock over his pants as revenge.
Taehyung then put pressure against your clenching hole as punishment, shoving your face into his neck when he teased your entrance and squishing his hand between your thighs with his other urging them open. 
“Look at you,” Taehyung growled. “all fucked out just by my fingers.” He whispered darkly into your ear, the vibration of his baritone voice once again sending you into overdrive. “They’re not even inside you yet.” 
The ‘yet’ had you restless, body grinding against him and this time it was Taehyung trying suppress a satisfied groan. 
“If my fingers have you like this, imagine my-” 
“Oh c’mon! That’s not even realistic!” Seokjin suddenly shouted at the screen, startling you and Taehyung. 
“Jin, calm down. It’s just a feel-good Christmas movie.” Yoongi cautioned him. 
“How the fuck does the kid just free the burglar from the cop car? It’s damn common sense.” Seokjin complained about the scene from Christmas with the Kranks, having been unsatisfied with the movie since the beginning. 
“Baby, why’d you choose this movie?” He whined to his girlfriend Sa-Ha, her feigning innocence as she defended herself. 
“It’s almost over, Jinnie. Just sitand watch.” 
And that’s when Taehyung ripped his hands off you, leaving you to breathe out ruggedly for a few seconds before your vision looked up at Taehyung’s, mutually shocked at what the fuck just happened.
You’ve never done something like that before, and as your scared sights looked back at each other, you could only think you were both under some sort of horney trance that swept you two into uncharted waters. 
It made you divert your eyes from Taehyung immediately, your mind going blank. 
Taehyung was left hard and extremely turned on, though began dissipating once he couldn’t fathom he went that far with you so quickly, his brain having been clouded by lust he should’ve kept in check.
And with the way you looked at him, panicked and snapping your vision away in an instant, he doesn’t know if he just made a grave mistake. 
You both became shameful, swallowing dryly as your attentions fixated back onto the screen, thinking about what just transpired. 
There was this incessant feeling in both your chests contemplating there was something more, clearly more between you two. 
And it was downright fearful. 
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“Yah, why are you guys leaving so early? C’mon! There’s still half the eggnog left.” Seokjin pouted from across the room, sadly chugging his drink as the others hummed in agreeance. 
“Yeah, c’mon guys. It’s the holidays, let’s all spend it together, sleep over for the fuck of it!” Hoseok chimed in what you could tell was an inebriated state, practically swaying as he talked and the lilt in his tone ever-so cheery. 
“Um, excuse me? Sleep over? Nobody’s doing that.” Jimin shoot him down from where he stood near you and Taehyung, scolding his friends with crossed arms. “If they want to leave they’re allowed, we already made Y/N abandon her Christmas for us.” 
“It’s alright, Jimin. I missed you guys too, I wanted to come.” You offered sentimentally, hand touching his elbow to let him up and he eased. 
“Since you’re officially back in town, we’re never leaving you alone again, Y/N!” Namjoon called out from the living room, engrossed in whatever was playing on the TV. 
“Yup, seriously not going to leave you alone.” Yoongi hummed with half-lidded eyes, near falling asleep on the couch. 
“I still owe you for those math notes, expect me becoming your Genie for a day!” Jungkook called out from the kitchen, most likely munching on the treats everyone crafted during the competition earlier. 
“Of course, I’ll see you guys! Merry Christmas!” 
“Merry Christmas!” Everyone cheered, their dates similarly adding on. 
You then brought your attention back to Jimin, seeing you and Taehyung out as the wonderful host of today’s party. “Thank you for the party, Jimin, it was amazing.” 
“Yeah.” Taehyung perked up next to you, apologetic he was so negligent of the party in the first place. “It was seriously fun, Jimin, I’m sorry I acted like it wasn’t a big deal before.” 
“Nah, don’t sweat it.” Jimin casually waved him off. “Dude, you could text me a Merry Christmas and I’d be alright, you know us.” Jimin smiled reassuringly, right on your toes when Taehyung and yourself stepped into his front foyer.  
You were both fixing on your shoes just before Jimin’s door when he spoke up again. “It was great having you guys, and even better having you, Y/N, come here.” Jimin held out his arms for a warm hug, you returning it merrily. “You’re always welcomed here with us, visit anytime you want.”
“Thanks, Jimin, it really means a lot.” Your grateful eyes found his once you disconnected. 
“We’ll get going now, thank you again, Jimin.” Taehyung for some odd reason placed an arm around your shoulder, pulling you two a little closer and you simply accepted the action, trying not to read into it. 
“Of course.” Jimin replied. “Though one last thing, you remember the theme of this party, right?” Jimin asked you both, you and Taehyung similarly responded with knitted eyebrows. 
“Yeah?” 
“Well look up, lovebirds.” Jimin cocked his head upwards towards the ceiling, casually leaning against the corridor of his entrance when you and Taehyung glanced up, innocently viewing the little mistletoe dangling above your heads, eyes reflecting the realization of what Jimin was conveying. 
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Jimin added with a purposefully hushed, knowing tone. He was just about turning away until he called out in caution. “Oh, careful driving, by the way. I just heard the snow got bad.” And with that, Jimin left nothing but his sweet cologne in the air when he disappeared.
You and Taehyung shuffled about a little, not exactly daring to exchange gazes when the air became all stuffy. 
You were both mutually pondering what the absolute hell to do in this moment. Do you kiss? Do you not kiss? Do you awkwardly try to address what happened earlier after silently agreeing with your dicey body language to never speak of it again? Or hell, do you damn well take Jimin’s advice and just flat out tell him you’ve always had feelings for him? 
Wait. 
Jimin’s advice. 
It came back to you, thinking Jimin was actually extremely wise in what he said. You took to his words into consideration, studying some of the little things Taehyung did around you, from the things he uttered all the way down to the simple way he even looked at you, contemplating something, just something had to be there.
But then maybe, just maybe you could also chalk it up to his naturally flirtatious behaviour you’ve always observed, always habitually affectionate with people and that’s what’s always made him so easily lovable in the first place, what made Taehyung a boy who was born to be loved. 
And he was tricky, his expressions and feelings always indistinguishable with the composed, nuanced way he carried himself especially now, convincing you reading him was a lost cause. 
Though as you glanced at Taehyung right now, visibly nervous, his usually schooled face and unreadable expression now indicating nerves, awkwardness you two have never really experienced between each other before, you decided maybe you should stop making excuses. 
Stop avoiding signs and doubting his every move and burying your feelings so deep underground, that maybe you should just fucking take your leap of faith already. 
So you stepped closer to him, your figure almost laughably smaller compared to him, and watched as his pretty eyes brightened in surprise at you. 
It only took a few seconds, for your lips to curve reassuringly, for your soft hands to cup his face delicately against the edge of his sharp jaw. To get on the tip of your toes and bring your lips to Taehyung’s, pressing a heartfelt kiss to mouth. 
A kiss so very soft and tender, it was like teenagers kissing for the very first time, and it made you giggle on the inside, thinking that’s exactly how your entire ordeal has felt like; your two teenage selves trying to navigate whatever feelings lied between you. 
Taehyung was shocked, having been silently berating himself for being too bold too quickly and thinking his abandonment of chivalry in that instance was wrong, the air between you having been tainted with a sense of unspoken, though apparent awkwardness for the rest of the party. 
But now, now you were kissing him, and for the first time, his insides leaping at just the prospect. It felt like a damn dream, though the press of your mouth against his confirmed it was in fact real, that it was gladly his sweet reality. 
That after years of imagining what it would feel like, he’s kissing the girl he’s loved since the second he saw her hair glow in the rays of the sunset, the minute he realized she wasn’t just pretty, but beautiful to him, the hour he’d witness the moonlight kiss her skin when she stayed up with him on sleepless nights, leading all the way up to the year he realized she’d leave him, so soon, so fucking soon it absolutely crushed him. 
And Taehyung wouldn’t admit it you, but your departure left his heart ravaged for quite possibly years, continuously overthinking how different things would’ve been if he just told you. Told you how he felt, told you that behind every innuendo, behind every hug, every tease, every stupid smile he flashed your way, that there was love behind it all. 
Pure, unadulterated love. 
He regretted it for months, for years thinking he’d truly lost the greatest opportunity in his life having let you go without protest, without fighting for you like he should’ve. 
It hurt, it hurt until he’d eventually grown accustomed to the ache in his heart whenever he saw that same plaid pattern on anyone else, reminded of the jacket you wore to school everyday. The way he found himself subconsciously comparing nearly every girl he dated to you, how on rainy days and quiet nights, he sometimes wondered where you were, what you were doing, if you were awake at this time of night like he usually was, remembering the way the moonlight always seemed to love you, just like he loved you. 
And he still did, Taehyung thought. He still loved you, now feeling your lips kiss him, your adorable height making you tippy-toe, the gentle way you held his face comforting. 
Your lips then disconnected, Taehyung seeing your gaze was warm, something so reminiscent of affection, adoration in your eyes, and he thought in that one, singular moment that maybe, just maybe... 
You loved him too. 
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“Fuck, this snow is bad.” Taehyung swore as he gauged any clear path of the road ahead.
“I hate to admit this, but the group was right. It was probably better staying at Jimin’s.” You sighed, worried about the amount of damn white you were seeing blanket the world outside. 
“I thought if we left early we could escape it, but shit, mother nature is always so fickle.” He complained. 
“It’s her charm, unfortunately.” You shrugged, realizing there was truly no way for you to get home now. “It’s early too, the snow ploughs won’t clear the roads just yet.” There was suddenly a concerned lilt to your tone as you peered ahead, gripping Taehyung’s arm and it grabbed his attention. “It’s getting dangerous too, Tae. I don’t want you driving in this.” 
Taehyung was glad he had the gifted ability of hiding his emotions, because right now he would’ve been embarrassingly over the moon. He smiled back to you reassuringly, then contemplated an alternative.
“Would you.. rather come to my place?” Taehyung inquired, biting his lip once he realized he stupidly stuttered. 
You blinked. “What?” 
“Well, my place is much closer, and it’d be less dangerous driving there. You can just stay until they clear the roads.” Taehyung relayed casually, expectant eyes on you as his hands tapped against the steering wheel. 
Your face slowly turned into an appreciative smile, taken aback by his act of kindness, but also felt something exciting tickle the bottom of your stomach. 
“Sure, I’d love that.” 
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Taehyung shut the door of his apartment as you removed your boots, shredding stray snowflakes off his jacket when he spotted similar ones on yours, his hands naturally jutting out to rid the tiny icicles off you. 
You turned around at his touch, thanking him and he smiled a welcome back. He’d taken your jacket just like before and tucked them away into his closet, gesturing towards his living room for you to get comfortable. 
“Make yourself at home, do you want water or anything?” 
“Yeah, actually. Water would be nice.” Taehyung nodded as he made for his kitchen, you tucking the skirt of your dress underneath you as you took your humble seat on his couch. 
His home was so painfully Taehyung, it had you smiling like an idiot he was still the same. The same introspective Taehyung who adored art and photography, the same Taehyung who absolutely hated shoes and you could tell just by the way he abandoned them earlier he still had the same habit. Even to the way his house reflected this artistic, calming, and nuanced feeling he similarly had.
It drew you to admire some of the pieces draping his walls, when Taehyung returned with a glass of water, handing it to you as he plopped down on the couch. “Here.” 
“Thank you.” You took the glass, gulping down some of the liquid for your parched throat. 
“Your apartment is nice.” 
“Thanks.”
You then both sat in silence for a short while, tapping the edge of the glass in your hand as you scanned the rest of his charming home. The silence wasn’t awkward considering the past events of today, just a silence in its definition. 
“I still can’t believe I ran into you at a coffee shop.” Taehyung suddenly remarked, looking off at his table in front with a smile tugging his lips. 
You chuckled. “Why? Too meet-cute for you?” 
“No.” He chuckled too. “It’s just, I really thought it was the end when you left after graduation.” Taehyung paused for a poignant moment, air heavy with something as you watched him muster the courage to say something else. 
“I thought I’d never see you again.” 
He claimed it with such a sense of sadness, sense of longing that reminded you of how upset you also were that day, the rampant emotions that came crashing down realizing you were leaving behind an entire life. 
“Me too.” You added with a similarly downcast tone. “I thought I’d never see you again, either.” 
Taehyung then looked at you, eyes meeting your gaze. “I’m glad that wasn’t true.” Something lingered behind his words, something incredibly thick and telling, though you deflected it with a joke to lighten the air. 
“I’m glad you didn’t delete my PowerPoints, either.” You snickered, hand coming up to cover your mouth, “I used to put a lot of work into them.”
Taehyung scoffed playfully, smiling through a chuckle as he responded. “I didn’t have the heart to. You were so passionate about your hatred for fruit on pizza.” 
“I still am.” You added. “Do you really have them?” 
“Yeah, I do. Let me show you.” Taehyung then pulled out his phone from his pocket, clicking away on the device as he scooted closer to you and leaned in, you similarly doing so and peering at a Google Drive folder of your wonderfully crafted presentations.
“Oh my God, I thought you were joking.” You snorted, snickering at the hilarious folder name; ‘Y/N says Fuck Hawaiian Pizza: the Saga’
“Nope, couldn’t delete them even if I was dared to.” Taehyung laughed with you, both of your eyes naturally falling as he shut off his phone, the conversation shifting. 
“You know, I never actually hated it that much.” You admitted sheepishly. “I just liked annoying you and wasting 5 minutes of your day with every presentation.” 
Taehyung looked scandalized at first, mouth falling agape until he ultimately let it go, admitting something of his own. “You know, I never actually needed your history notes. I just liked being annoying about stealing them so you always had to chase me down.” Taehyung’s smile was suddenly impish, shy as he fixated on fiddling with his slender fingers. 
“After all that running I always did after you too? Jheez, you’re the reason I have strong calves now.” 
“And you’re the reason I’m really good at presentations now.” You both chuckled together, the old days coming back in bouts until your mood changed, remembering Jimin’s advice from earlier. 
As you looked at Taehyung, while he didn’t look at you, you could only help but find every reason in the world to listen to Jimin. Because Taehyung was Taehyung, he was the Taehyung that stole your heart with his boxy grin, the Taehyung who made every other man seem like an unappealing idiot you wanted nothing to do with, the same Taehyung who’s heart was made of love, and you wanted nothing but to return to him the love he gifted the world.
Because you loved Taehyung, no matter how much you’ll try to deny it, you still love him. All his smiles and giggles and soft hair and his sometimes coltish, though endearing ways of being himself. All his hard expressions and intimidating eyes and handsome looks and the way he holds a universe of stars in his old soul.  
So your next words flowed, flowed more fluently than anything ever has in your life. 
“You know,” You paused, eyes faltering to the glass in your hand. “I think, for the majority of high school... I had a crush on you, but I never said anything because I thought you wouldn’t want me.” 
And there came the silence, the piercing, God awful silence you were so afraid of and so sure was spelling your doom. You didn’t dare look up from your glass now, downright terrified he was probably pulling the most confused face ever, and his silence was deafening. It had you contemplating the best way to jump out his window, he was only, what, 14 stories up? A human can survive a fall that high, right? 
“You wanna know something?” Taehyung suddenly broke the silence, his deep, dulcet voice sounding beautifully in his apartment, and your eyes widened the second he opened his mouth next. 
“I think I was in love with you for the majority of high school, but I didn’t say anything because I thought you never felt the same way.” And that’s when everything clicked, when your eyes widened in revelation, when it suddenly felt like the 6 years you spent battling your feelings for him was nothing but a sad joke. 
Because this moment, alone, made you realize you two had the same hearts all along. 
“You wanna know something?” You swallowed hard, eyes still on your glass as it shifted in your hand mindlessly. “I think... I’m still in love with you.” 
You couldn’t see Taehyung, because you didn’t dare look at him at a time like this. You just sat there, breathing as leveled as you could until you felt Taehyung shift on the couch. He’d moved closer, closing the small gap between you both, beckoning you to finally look at him and that’s exactly what you did. 
He spoke low, deep and low and it had your toes curling at just how proximal he was, his beautiful eyes gazing at you like you meant the universe and more to him. 
And little did you know, you really did. 
“I think..” He started, gripping the glass of water from your hands and placing it onto his coffee table. “I’m still in love with you, too.” 
And your heart was set ablaze in a matter of seconds, your tentative eyes finding Taehyung’s as he leaned in, large palms on either side of your body as he inched closer, closer, and closer, until all he could see were your lips, jutting his face forward until his lips just brushed yours. 
You chased his mouth a little, fluttering your eyes shut and Taehyung couldn’t help but smile before finally, finally pressing his lips to yours. 
His mouth kissed you slow at first, slow and steady and it was intoxicating just like this. He constantly chased your lips, mouthing at them sensually and it was driving you insane, just the taste of his lips with a hint of wine on his breath shooting electricity to your core. 
His hands moved to your sides, wrapping around your rib cage as he leaned you back onto the couch and laid on top of you. His body covered you as far as you could see, your dainty hands coming up to find his jawline and pull him against your lips fervently.
He slowly grew more passionate, smoothing over your sides as he mouthed for more of you, swallowing the little moans you made that vibrated through his body and it only revved is engine more. 
Taehyung was taken, completely taken by how much he wanted you that he could only see you, could only think about all the dirty but soft and tender and passionate things he wanted to do to you. 
One of his hands travelled underneath your thigh, pulling your leg up against him as he pressed his hips into your core, his hardening cock prodding you through his clothes once he started a gentle rocking motion. 
Your hands travelled up his beautiful neck and tangled into his hair as you reciprocated. A slight tug left him groaning into your mouth, causing you to buck up into him harshly and it sent Taehyung’s mind into a dangerous place. 
His breathing elevated against you, gripping your ribs so urgently it only made you pull him closer, arch your chest into his just so you could relish in the feeling. Your heart was thrumming in your chest, veins coursing with adrenaline so white hot it wasn’t long before you were moving desperately with Taehyung and it fueled your horny nerves.
Taehyung suddenly disconnected his mouth from you, breathing so shallow his chest was rising and falling fast. He was only centimeters above as he looked down at you, his eyes boring into yours with such a prominent sense of longing, want, pure desire, it took him no time to speak. 
“Do you know how long..” He took a breath. “I’ve wanted to do that?” 
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you to do that?” You replied, hands now smoothing over his shoulders to feel him, his body raging hot as he laid on top of you, looking at you like you were the only thing he ever wanted. 
“Fuck, we’re so stupid.” Taehyung quickly said before his mouth crashed onto yours. This time there was something carnal in his kiss, something urgent and hot and it only made you pull him closer for more. 
His tongue began to lick over your lips, slithering inside your mouth and the taste of him was euphoric, making you tangle your tongue with his just to taste him over and over again, until it was safe to say your tongues were down each other’s throats. 
He kissed you sloppily, kissed until he was consuming you, his fingers digging into your thigh and side so fervently you knew there’d be marks, and it made your spine shiver, even more so when he spoke again. 
“The minute.. I saw you in that dress..” He breathed out, kissing in between the exhaustion of his lungs. “I wanted to rip it off you.” 
You groaned desperately at his confession, wanting Taehyung in ways that were so utterly carnal, almost feral, your entire being wanting to consume every inch of him, lay a million kisses across his honey-coloured skin and hear his caramel voice whisper into your ear, and so it didn’t take long for you to voice your desire. 
“Taehyung..” You sighed, a satisfied lilt to your tone and it only lit Taehyung on fire. 
“Mm?” He hummed, licking into your mouth on a quest for everything inside, his hips now grinding into your clothed cunt so harshly he was practically dry humping you, and without a second thought you were moving yourself against him too, hands exploring his broad chest. 
“Taehyung..” You were more urgent, and it made Taehyung grunt harshly. “Rip it off me, Tae, unwrap me like you said you would.” You started harshly tugging at his offensive shirt, tracing the column of his throat as you relished in his delicious kisses. 
And it all made Taehyung move so much harder, so much more roughly you were moaning into his mouth at the press of his hard, long cock against your aching core. 
“Ruin me, Taehyung.” You scratched your nails against his neck, swallowing him into your mouth as you talked. “I want you to ruin me.” 
“Fuck,” Taehyung swore, his length beginning to prod you so much more apparently as you bucked your hips up into him, it was sending Taehyung down the proverbial hole. And when you let out another gorgeous moan of his name, he knew he was a goner. 
“Fuck, I can’t do this anymore.” 
Taehyung then harshly grabbed your wrists and forced them against the couch in a single motion, eyes growing dark with heat radiating of his body in waves. He darted to the underside of your jaw and kissed hard, began mouthing at your skin until he travelled to the junction of your neck, sucking over the sensitive skin so rampantly it had you squirming underneath him, desperately trying to feel him against your core. 
His pretty purple marks began blooming onto your neck, evidence of his raw desire for you, the years he spent longing for you. His teeth were nipping your skin, tongue licking over the bites as he pressed your wrists further into the couch the more you resisted. 
You breath hitched when he moved to the slightly exposed valley of your breasts, making your nipples harden at just the prospect of his mouth travelling there. You began fighting his hold, causing you to arch into him as something dawned on you. 
“Taehyung.. your shirt.” You whined, trying to manage the pleasure of his mouth canvasing your skin. 
Taehyung left you for a mere second to shred off the annoying piece of clothing, tossing it aside as he returned to you urgently, your legs hooking around his torso as he came back to you. 
His mouth was sucking hickeys onto your chest again when his hands began to smooth down your sides, so sensually purposeful until he reached underneath the hem of your dress, hooking onto the waistline of your pantyhose and panties, tugging teasingly. 
Your core ignited at just his touch against bare skin, gushing as your hips harshly grinded against his body and your hands smoothed over the lean muscle of his body. 
He yanked the pieces of clothing down the curve of your ass, proceeding to pull them past your thighs as you unhooked your legs to help take them off you. 
The rush of the cold against your wet pussy lips made your breath hitch beautifully, one of Taehyung’s hands moving your skirt to let his large, warm palm cup your sex so pleasurably the contrast of the size of his hand and your little cunt sent you both ablaze. 
“You’re so small, think you can take me, good girl?” Taehyung breathed against your chest. “I’ll fuck up your insides.” His baritone voice was dark and low as he warned you, sent arousal spiking through your nerves as you groaned. 
“Fuck up my insides, Tae.” You desperately moaned out, hands finding Taehyung’s hair as he continued to lay searing kisses to your hot skin, his fingers rubbing your dripping folds harshly. “I just.. I need you, Taehyung, so fucking badly.” 
“Say it again.” Taehyung hissed, exposing one of your bare breasts from your dress and pressing his tongue against a perched nipple, the wet sensation so satisfying you were scratching his shoulder blades. 
“I-I need you, Taehyung.” 
“Need me where?” He growled as he pressed against your clit and circled it, collecting your slick and spreading it all over yourself. 
And it was hard, so fucking hard to think straight with your bare, soaking wet pussy was rubbing against Taehyung’s rough fingers and his lips sucking your exposed nipple for dear life, the pleasure burning inside you so hot your voice was coming out in choked moans. 
“Need you inside, Taehyung.” You gasped out. “So empty without you, so fucking empty, for so long.” 
“God, fuck.” Taehyung groaned proudly, popping off your breast to look at your half-lidded eyes, his own blown out with his hair mussed and lips swollen pink. He returned to your lips again as his hands simultaneously hooked underneath your thighs and suddenly lifted you off the couch, your legs secured around his torso as he walked you into what you assumed was his bedroom. 
Your core rubbed against the buckle of Taehyung’s belt as he walked and you gushed oceans, the cool metal providing such delicious friction you were moaning satisfyingly into Taehyung’s mouth, grinding against him for more. 
His kiss was fervent even when he splayed you onto his covers, back hitting the bed as you stroked your hands over his beautiful bare chest. 
Taehyung suddenly came off you, eyes going wild as he looked down at your panting figure underneath him, then your offensive dress. 
“Fuck this thing.” Taehyung nearly ripped it from your body, shredding the pretty fabric off and simply basked in the glory of seeing your naked body for the very first time. 
Taehyung’s eyes filled with pure wonder, the moonlight and reflection of white snow falling outside adding a glow to your skin he couldn’t help but marvel at, your curves so beautiful he wanted to run his hands all over, the purple of his marks left on you only making him blossom with more arousal, more passion. 
“Holy shit, you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Taehyung’s face was so blown away, you couldn’t help but grow a little shy, bringing him close to you by his neck so you could breathe into his ear. 
“Good, I hear you ruin them.” 
Taehyung could only smirk, rolling his tongue on the inside of his cheek, cock twitching at just your words. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” 
Taehyung trailed one hand down your body, momentarily wrapping it around your throat until it was gliding over your nipple and down to your core, lining the lips of your pussy so teasingly you were reeling. 
The pads of his fingers smoothed over your pussy lips again, applying pressure to your clit that had you lurching, until he used the opportunity to slide two fingers into your aching hole with ease. 
“You’re so fucking wet, dripping all over my fingers.” He growled into your ear as he laid himself on top of you, his free hand holding your face while the other worked your core. 
The sharpness of his long, slender fingers were euphoric, causing you to moan loudly. You could see his hard dick pressing against the fabric of his slacks almost painfully, and you jutted your hand out to begin palming him generously. 
Taehyung could finally hiss as loud as he wanted, screwing his eyes shut in sheer pleasure. 
He began pumping you faster in response, sliding in and out so deliciously you were moaning incessantly against his mouth as he began kissing you again. Your breasts were pressing into Taehyung’s bare chest the more you arched yourself, closing the offensive gap between you both and the skin to skin contact sending you both to cloud nine. 
“Taehyung..” You moaned in between kisses, so shameless about your desire for him you only wanted to know his name. 
“Taehyung.” 
“Fucking hell, that does shit to me.” Taehyung began thrusting harshly into your hole now as punishment, practically finger-fucking you against his bed till it made your walls clamp down on him, trap his slender fingers inside so you could feel every heavenly inch of them.
You became hungry for more, your hand grabbing at Taehyung’s straining cock harder and the strangled groan that left his lips was so fucking beautiful, your insides were screaming. 
“Shit, Taehyung,” You moaned out breathlessly. “You’re so hot like this, so fucking hot. Fuck me, fuck me like you said you would. ” 
Taehyung’s breaths turned heavy and hungry, his cock aching to be inside you so painfully he was going insane at your every word. 
“Fuck. I’m fucking you into next week. I’m fucking you until you only know my name. Fucking you until you know how badly I’ve wanted you, until your legs are shaking and you feel me in your throat.” 
“Then do it.” You nearly cried out, hands fumbling with the waistband of Taehyung’s pants. Your pussy was aching so excruciatingly around Taehyung’s fingers your slick was gushing from you, all over him and it only made Taehyung feral thinking about what would happen if it were his dick instead. 
“Fucking do it, Taehyung, fuck me until I’m shaking.” 
Taehyung flipped his switch and suddenly shoved his fingers so deep inside you, scissoring you completely open it made you lurch up in searing pleasure. His large palm grabbed underneath your head and positioned you upwards, able to angle his fingers so he could smash them inside you so harshly it was pathetic it wasn’t even his dick that had you high, but just his fingers. 
“Holy fuck, Taehyung!” 
“Cum all over my fingers, pretty. I wanna hear you.” Taehyung growled into your ear, couldn’t help but think about your walls convulsing around his dick and it was euphoric hearing you moan, all fucked out underneath him. 
He couldn’t stop finger-fucking you like his life depended on it, wanted to fill you up in so many ways you’d remember him for weeks. 
You were almost there, the edge so close. It was racking the bottom of your stomach, had your toes curling and walls pounding so snug around Taehyung’s fingers you could only latch onto the nape of his neck for dear life. 
You felt it, felt it so near and had his name leaving your mouth in such an intoxicating mantra you were seconds from letting go. Seconds, milliseconds, just about to release your impending orgasm until Taehyung ripped his fingers out of you. 
You gasped scandalously at the loss, body buzzing with your unachieved high it made your exclaim come out in a garbled protest.  “Taehyung, what the fuck?!” 
You tried getting an answer, but Taehyung’s hungry, half-lidded eyes shut you up immediately, watching him lick his fingers like he was starved, like this was the sweetest honey he’s ever tasted. 
“Fuck, you taste as sweet as you look.” Taehyung’s grin was evil, and it made you turned on but pissed he denied your orgasms. 
“You’re so-” You attempted to get out, but Taehyung suddenly flipped you onto all fours in a second, your hands and knees anchored onto the bed with only your shocked figure confused. 
“T-Taehyung, what are you-” You then sighed at the sudden touch of his tongue meeting your weeping hole in a devilish swipe. It was intoxicating, feeling his wet muscle begin licking into your core and tasting your soaked folds from behind. 
“I’m doing what you asked..” His voice was dark and weighty, and that’s when you suddenly felt another sensation of his two fingers returning to your throbbing entrance. Your insides buzzed when he spoke against your core, grittier than he ever has all night. “I’m going to fucking ruin you.” 
And his tongue suddenly slithered into your hole when he removed his fingers, licking into your entrance in a harsh rhythm as his palms began grabbing at your ass, kneading the meaty flesh as he straight up devoured your pussy like it was the only thing he’s wanted his entire life. 
His tongue was lapping you fervently, so starved your dissipated orgasm was coming back again. You were winded, having never been eaten out like this and you were moaning his name loud enough to get noise complaints filed to the police. 
“Taehyung!” You cried out, though he didn’t let up. Instead he brought one of his hands to your pulsing clit, circling and applying so much necessary pressure you were losing your mind, insane off the fact he hadn’t even filled you up with his cock yet and you were pathetic underneath him. 
“Fucking God, Taehyung, Tae!” And when he groaned so audibly into your pussy, rutting himself against the bed for friction it sent you flying, soaring into the sky and losing all coherent thought as your orgasm bubbled in your stomach, his husky voice grounding you to Earth. 
“Cum for me, baby, now.” And that was all it took to have you lurching over the edge, releasing your pent up orgasm so violently you were nearly screaming, Taehyung’s name the only distinguishable thing rolling off your tongue. 
He licked up your juices like they were fresh water, helping you ride out your euphoric orgasm and allowing yourself a moment to rest. You breathed, falling onto the bed in exhaustion, trying to quell the blood pumping in your ears when Taehyung suddenly pulled you back onto your hands and knees, cautioning you darkly when he spoke. 
“You thought we were done?” It was evil, he was evil, the way his voice sounded like the epitome of a smirk as you tried catching your breath. Taehyung’s lips then suddenly ghosted the shell of your ear as he wrapped an arm around your torso, pressing his chest to your back as he spoke. 
“I haven’t even done anything yet.” 
And again, it was the ‘yet’ that had you groaning out in frustration but in the best possible ways. How wasn’t this already enough? How did he have you so fucked out just by the sheer power of his fingers and tongue? It was sickening, he was sickening and you found yourself throwing your ass back on him to urge his cock into you already, to just fuck you open with all he had. 
“Taehyung, just-fuck! Fuck me, please.” You were pleading, needing to feel the wreckage of what you could tell was the biggest cock you’ll ever take.  
Taehyung had removed his pants and boxers in the moment, freeing his painfully angry cock from it’s confines. You were faltering from your position again when Taehyung suddenly prodded your abused hole with his engorged tip, you shuddering to life harshly. 
“Taehyung, just-” 
“Beg me.” 
You cried out in immediate desperation, his voice so authoritative it was sending you into submission, clutching the covers under you so hard your knuckles were white as you complied. “Taehyung, please, fuck me. I need you, please.” 
Taehyung’s arm was snug around your torso, feeling your every quaking expire in his hold and it was turning him on so agonizingly this was painful even for himself, but the way your sweet voice begged him was absolutely exhilarating.
“More.” 
“Taehyung, if you don’t fucking-!” You were cut off by the sharp impalement of Taehyung’s cock in a single breath, knocking all forms of wind out of you. The head alone was so large you went hurtling into the mattress, almost losing your shaking arms’ support until Taehyung pulled you back up for him, snaking his one hand that was previously around his cock to your breast while the other gripped at your hip. 
He was slowly sinking in, feeling your walls flutter open for him and the satisfied moan that left his mouth was evidence of how much this was affecting him. 
“Fuck...” Taehyung dragged out completely content, digging into your hip to watch you arch your back for him, on his knees as he filled you up from behind. “You’re so fucking tight and wet, holy shit.” 
You were struggling for air, oxygen leaving your lungs trying to accommodate for his monstrous size. It was unfair, so unfair he was so big and it had you praising him immediately, so full and stuffed it was the most pleasurable thing you’ve experienced all your life. 
“You’re so big, oh my God, Taehyung, so big.” One of your hands shot towards his holding you by your hip, interlacing your fingers together against your skin just to ground yourself, to manage the sharp pierce of his length until it simmered into a pleasurable burn. 
He bottomed out into your cervix and you both grunted loud, Taehyung containing himself just so he could feel your velvet walls palpitate around his throbbing dick. “Do you feel how hard I am, Y/N? Do you fucking feel it?” 
“Yes, God fuck! Tae, yes..” You sighed out, eyes watering at just how much pleasure was already raking your abdomen again. 
“That’s what you do to me, you barely touched me and this is how hard I am. How fucking badly I want you, how much I’ve always wanted you, wanted you since day one.” Taehyung’s voice was sincere and desperate, seemingly trying to counter your confession of your feelings from earlier.
“Show me, Taehyung.” You moaned, hands gripping his more affectionately, more desperately as you weakly held yourself up by the other. “Fuck me and show me how much you want me.” 
Taehyung grunted out harshly, pulling his cock out of you until he thrusted back in. The first thrust had you keening, sending you into the mattress only to have Taehyung pull you back up once again. Then the second came, your walls greedily soaking him into you and it felt perfect, like two puzzle pieces meant to connect with each other. 
Then came the third, the fourth, the fifth, all the way until Taehyung was pounding into you from behind with a drag so delicious you were moaning out more than you ever have in your entire life. 
And it was sickening, utterly sickening the way his dick began fucking you into the mattress so roughly, angling your body in ways for his cock to pump into all the right places with the right amount of pressure. He watched himself disappear into your little cunt repeatedly, holding your hip up to encourage you to arch so low your ass was snug against his pelvis, and couldn’t think of anything more fucking perfect. 
“You take me so well, so fucking well.” Taehyung praised, leaning over to aimlessly lay wet kisses up your spine like the demon he was, shoving himself into you over and over and over again with your walls convulsing around him.
You were trapping him inside you so tight he could spill into you in seconds, though held back determined he was making you cum again.
“So full, Taehyung, so deep.. all I feel is you.” The statement left you with a desperate sigh, your head hanging low until Taehyung’s hand kneading your breast suddenly wrapped around your throat, causing you to gasp at the arousing feeling. He pulled your head upwards, the junction between his long index finger and thumb forcing you to look forward, and you were utterly breathless at the scene.
His lips were near your ear in seconds, speaking like the devil incarnate as he was bent over you. “Look at us, look at yourself, so fucking pretty, so perfect.” You could suddenly see the reflection of Taehyung fucking into you from behind in his window, not even knowing tears had streamed down your face as his hand beautifully encased your throat, causing every nerve in your body to alight with fire. 
“Look at the way I fuck you, how much I love you.” Taehyung’s carnal eyes looked at you through the reflection of the window, heart twinging at the sight of you crying but knowing he’s making you feel good, continuing his onslaught of drilling your battered pussy. 
You moaned at the erotic scene, using every ounce of strength to keep yourself upright, your walls pulsing around Taehyung’s length as he thrusted harder and harder.
“Tae, fuck! I’ve always loved you, I always felt the same way, and I still do-ah!” Your lungs were tapping out when he suddenly shoved himself inside you to the brim, so utterly deep before he was thrusting again harshly, strangling out moans. 
Clear sweat was slick between your bodies, his huge, delicious cock incessantly tearing up your insides and all you could do was chant his name in pleasure, in bliss, in your love for him that was burning so bright it was nearly painful. 
“Y/N.. fuck. You’re ruining me. You’re so perfect, we’re so fucking perfect.” Taehyung was rambling at this point as his speed reflected his desperation, his immeasurable feelings for you. 
He was trying his damn hardest to distract himself from the release aching his balls. He was growing weak himself, feeling you reciprocate his rough thrusts by fucking him back the same way. And the image in the window? Had him reeling, needing to hear the most beautiful sound you’d make when you finally came, and he knew you would, bordering the precipice with the way your walls pulsed around him. 
Watching Taehyung fuck you in the window was now downright sinful to you, his harsh thrusts completely blissful and his hand gently squeezing at your throat was so dominant, so hot you were at your limit and ready to come. 
But what ended up sending you over, pushing you to release the tightening knot in your stomach was the sweet, tender way Taehyung began kissing your neck. 
The contrast between his cock abusing you and his plush lips kissing you so gently, so lovingly, it wasn’t long before you realized his fucking wasn’t just hard or rough, but full of sheer want, desire, love in all the right ways your walls were clenching around him rapidly in seconds. 
And when Taehyung angled himself somehow deeper, in that one, perfect spot, you clamped down and finally came so hard you saw stars, knew you’d completely drenched his cock with the loudest release of his name you were glad it was the only word you knew in this moment. 
“That’s it, baby. Just like that.” Taehyung breathed out in exhaustion, began soothing your abdomen with one hand and the other letting your head finally hang, grip loosened from around your throat and you could finally allow air back into your lungs. 
You were heaving when you spoke up, realizing something. “Inside me.. Taehyung.” You were dreary, utterly gone, but it still didn’t distract you from the blissful feeling of Taehyung’s cock deliciously stuffed and throbbing inside you, trying to coax his rightful release. “Cum inside me, Tae. Please, fill me up.” 
Taehyung didn’t need to be told twice when his cock worked a few more rough strokes into your tightened pussy and finally, finally came inside you. It was laced with a satisfied groan of your name, his grip on your side so intense you’d be glad if he left marks, wanting to remember every last bit of this night with Taehyung. 
He painted you completely white inside, spilling everything he could offer into you, using what little strength he had left to hold you up while he continued to empty his seed inside. Taehyung then lost all function and allowed you to fall, his broad body resting on top of yours as you both hit the mattress. 
Your chests rose and fell shallowly, completely taxed and having lost every ounce of strength. Taehyung’s hot breaths for air were fanning your neck, your arms sprawled out before you as Taehyung’s hands mindlessly interlaced with them against the tousled covers, cock still stuffing you whole. 
It was another moment of breathing and regaining oxygen when Taehyung suddenly kissed the side of your neck, giving your hands a small squeeze before you felt him lifting himself, his warmth disappearing and you panicked. 
“Where are you going?” Your throat was hoarse from screaming and moaning, a tinge of sadness to your tone as though he was leaving you, and Taehyung couldn’t help but find it endearing. 
“It’s okay, I’ll be right back.” He smiled, moving your hair from the side of your face to plant a kiss to your cheek, post-sex haze racking his brain though allowing reality to leak back into his mind. 
He then carefully, slowly pulled himself out of you, you whining at the loss of him and Taehyung smiled to himself in contentment, smoothing over your lower back with a palm in gratitude, before stepping towards his bathroom. 
He’d pulled his boxers back on and returned with a damp cloth, finding you still flipped and laying on your stomach, having dozed off in exhaustion until you felt Taehyung’s warmth and heard his dulcet voice hazing you awake. 
“Y/N, turn over for me.” His voice was hushed and tender, you complying by turning onto your back with his help. He then carefully swept the cloth against your battered core, you wincing a little with sensitivity and Taehyung made sure to clean more gently. 
The cloth was thrown back into his bathroom when he turned back to you, an arm thrown over your tear-stained face and the other clutching your body, clearly shivering in the cold now.
Taehyung easily scooped you into his arms and lifted you off the bed, carrying you over to his pillows and delicately placing you upon his duvet, pulling the covers out from underneath you and tucking you into his bed. 
You curled up into his blanket, Taehyung searching through his drawers for a stray t-shirt you could wear. He then lifted you into a sitting position, your eyes evidently sleepy and body limp as he pulled the shirt onto you, letting you fall back in place. 
Taehyung could only chuckle to himself thinking he did mean to ruin you, but not so harshly you were devoid of consciousness. He placed a little kiss to your forehead in apology, wiping some of the tears off your face before he rounded the bed, crawling in next to you.
His arms reached out to pull your back snug against his chest, feeling the sleep in the back of his eyes take him. He basked in the strawberry scent of your hair, completely gratified until you suddenly turned over towards him. 
His eyes shot open, only the top of your head coming into view as you nuzzled into his warm chest, your small self all tucked into Taehyung as he wrapped his arms around you like a safety net, holding you near.
And in that moment, all he could focus on was your light breathing, the sweet sound of your voice as you suddenly spoke in the dark of the night, moonlight glowing upon your entangled bodies. 
“I love you, Taehyung.” 
He grinned, the kind where he felt relieved, fulfilled, in a state of sheer bliss it was a moment before he replied, his own voice calm as you felt the hum through his chest, his hand tangled in your hair. 
“I love you, Y/N.” 
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The morning sun bled into Taehyung’s room, your eyes fluttering open at a time you had no concept of. You stirred, finding yourself still in Taehyung’s arm, in relatively the same position from last night. You didn’t even feel like moving from his hold, the feeling so utterly fuzzy and comforting. 
You basked in the sensation until he began to stir next to you, pretty eyelashes batting as his eyes fluttered open. His sights fell to you, eyes adorably taken by sleep while his soft hair was endearingly mussed by his pillow. You smiled at him warmly as he grinned back.
“Good morning.” you said shyly, nearly hiding underneath his covers. 
“Good morning.” 
You then flopped onto your back peering up at the ceiling, last night coming back to you in dream-like flashes you were surprised was somehow your reality. 
It was just miraculous, utterly unbelievable until Taehyung turning into your side and snuggling his face into your neck was evidence everything was real, that he was real. It wasn’t some remnant of a dream or hallucination, but the real Taehyung as his arm draped over your stomach. 
You had to bite your lip to contain your happiness, utter exuberance the universe had somehow finally paired you and him together, and funnily enough, on Christmas of all days. 
“What are you thinking about, princess?” Taehyung hummed into your collarbone inquisitively, half asleep as he cuddled you. 
You smiled, basking in his comfort. “Merry Christmas, Taehyung.” 
Taehyung chuckled against you, arm pulling you closer to him as he kissed your neck. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.” 
“Can you believe we met each other again during Christmas? It’s like the perfect Christmas miracle.” You marveled in wonder, tracing your finger along Taehyung’s pretty hand on your stomach. 
“I mean, you know what Andy Williams said..” He mused next to you, husky voice laden with sleep. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”
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lokislastlove · 3 years
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Come One, Come All! (Dark!Loki x reader) p.2
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Summary: A girls night out to the fair takes an insidious turn.
Warnings: Noncon/Rape, Knife play, Oral (m&f), Smut, Bondage, Kidnapping
This is a dark fic! 18+ ONLY! Explicit Adult content. Please READ THE WARNINGS! Do not continue if these matters upset you!
Authors Note: Here is part 2, for those who have taken a chance on my trash, thank you so much!! I hope I don’t disappoint. ❤️
Chapter 2:
You feel your chest seize and you start to shake as your heart rate skyrockets, your body and mind dissolving into a full blown panic attack as you feel around the black box imprisoning you. You are only locked in for a minute before you hear rustling outside and you are thrown into the wall as the whole box shifts and turns.
“What the fuck. Oh my god, someone help! Please let me out!” Your voice cracks as your pleading grows more desperate with each passing minute.
You try to hold out hope that it’s a prank or part of the experience but after what you were sure had to be at least ten minutes of begging to possibly no one, you sag in defeat. Your eyes burn with hot tears, the temperature inside the box rising the longer you sit there. Stewing in silence and sweat, you listen to anything that might tell you where you have been moved to but the joyful bustle of the carnival fades early on.
You fall asleep hunched at the bottom of the box, arms wrapped tightly around your knees. You don’t know for how long but you are awoken roughly as the box tips over sending you face first into the solid surface. You grunt and stretch out, turning to lay on your back.
“Open it” you hear faintly.
The wall above you is ripped off instantly by a singular muscular arm. Startled, you gasp but manage to hold in the pathetic squeak when you look up into piercing blue eyes shrouded in unruly golden hair. Your own eyes widening as you take in the sheer mass of this man.
The muscles under his sun-kissed skin ripple as he huffs and stands straight. He scratches his bearded jaw, looking over to the darker figure you could barely see standing across from him.
“Yes I can see why you liked this one. Inquisitive eyes. A bit of fire in there, yes?” The hulking blond man raises a brow and smirks at you.
Had you not been in your current situation he would have been the type of man you could drool over for days. But considering the fact that you appear to be kidnapped, his physique only enhances your trepidation.
“Where the fuck am I?” You demand, fighting your soft-spoken nature.
“Yeah, there’s that fire” the large man chuckles deeply. “Want me to put her on the wall?” He asks looking back to his silent counterpart.
“The wall?” You mutter, panic rising again at the prospect of being ‘put’ anywhere.
“Yes, then you may go. Thank you , Thor” The darker mans voice drones, sounding bored.
The larger man, Thor, leans down and goes to grab you, making you scream and try to slap away his arms which is clearly ineffective, considering his bicep is the size of your head. He grabs your wrists easily and pulls you to your feet, you try going limp but he hardly seems to notice as he drags you out of the box. You start kicking and flailing wildly as he tosses you against a hard flat wooden surface attached to the wall. You sob as he takes one of your arms and stretches it straight out and snaps a mounted metal cuff around your wrist. You reach over with your free hand and try to unclasp the lock but he catches you and stretches the other arm out to the other side, rendering you completely helpless.
Arms spread wide, you feel exposed and vulnerable, especially when he traces his hand over your breasts before stepping away. That’s when you finally look at the thing you are mounted to. A circular wooden board painted red and white like a giant target, with you at the center.
“What the hell is this?” You tremble.
“Ankles too, for now” the dark suited man directs from across the room.
“Oh, well aren’t you a lucky girl” Thor chuckles under his breath before kneeling down and spreading your legs, attaching each to a similar iron restraint.
“Please. Please let me go” you plead softly to the bulky blond as he stands straight and smiles at you.
Thor brushes his thumb under your eye, catching a stray tear before sucking it into his mouth and humming.
“So sweet.” He praises before winking at you and leaving the room.
Your eyes settle on the lithe figure facing away from you. He’s tall and although he’s not as thick as Thor, you can tell he doesn’t lack strength either. He sheds his jacket and lays it neatly across the desk in front of him.
“If this is s-some sort of joke, it’s not funny” you stutter.
You watch in horror as he slowly turns to look at you, leaning back on his desk and crossing his ankles.
“You’re a clever girl, does this feel like a prank to you, darling?” His voice is as smooth as silk.
“Why are you doing this? Where are my friends?” You question, dreading the answer.
“Oh they will make fine prizes for the highest bidder. But you, darling… you caught my attention.” He explains blithely, slowly unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and rolling the sleeves up to his elbows.
“Lucky me” you scoff, narrowing your eyes at him as a wave of anger washes over you at the mention of your friends.
“Indeed.” He smiles cruelly.
“I swear to god if you hurt my friends –“ you fume before getting cut off suddenly.
You barely see the silver glint as something small whizzes through the air toward your head. A sharp silver blade sinks into the board next to your head, the shock causing you to choke on a gasp. It was mere inches away from your eye.
“Care to threaten me again?” He smirks, holding another knife in his right hand, the sharp point of it delicately pressing into the middle finger of his left hand.
You gulp as your body shakes uncontrollably, your life seemed to flash before your eyes in that moment. How did he throw that so fast, you say to yourself, the target behind you making more sense now. You shake your head in response to his question, voice lost amongst the adrenaline coursing through you.
“Very well” he nods once, with a small smile.
Your eyes are glued to the dagger in his hand, as he flourishes it about casually. Your muscles tense every time he tosses it gently in the air before catching it.
“Now, I want to know how you solved those riddles so quickly today” he asks lightly before throwing another dagger, this one splintering the wood inches away on the other side of your head. “And no lies.”
You squeak and close your eyes, body trembling so badly you aren’t sure how to form words anymore.
“I – I don’t know. I just did.” You manage to stammer out. “Please stop.”
Another dagger flies through the air, landing with a thud between your thighs.
“Oh my god, please! Please” you cry.
“You know some people could figure out one, maybe two, within the time limit. Most just get the answers from those who went before them. Others just come back repeatedly, mindlessly searching for the keys. But you… such a clever girl” he purred, pushing himself away from the desk still clutching another knife.
“You can hardly blame me for being curious” he continues, taking slow steps toward you.
He stops before you, admiring your terrified expression before dropping his eyes down your body. You pull on the restraints and shift in discomfort at his close proximity. He smiles as his eyes connect once more with your own, his pupils blown wide.
“I’m sorry, okay. I wasn’t trying to – I won’t ever do it again. Just please let me and my friends go,” you beg.
You watch him smirk and sniff at your pathetic pleas, both fully aware you have nothing to offer. He turns and calmly walks back to his desk.
“Ugh let me go you fucking creep! What do you want from me?” Anger and panic causing you to lash out desperately.
He turns and flings another dagger at you, but this time you feel a sharp pain under your arm. You look over to see the dagger pinning your shirt to the board, slowly staining with blood.
“Oh my god!” You scream shifting your arm away from the dagger. “You cut me!”
“Barely more than a scratch. You’ll survive.” He assured you coolly with a roll of his eyes.
You feel the slow flow of warmth trickle down the underside of your arm and you whimper as you watch him near you again. He stops in front of you and pulls the dagger from the board, releasing your shirt. He admires the blade for a moment and then reaches out to you, making you flinch away. His eyes flare at your reaction and he tuts disapprovingly.
“This shirt, however…” he mocks, sliding the sharp end of the blade under the hem of the fabric along your stomach, “I’m afraid it will not.”
You gasp as he brings the knife up cutting through the flimsy material with barely any resistance. You cry as the cool air breezes over your exposed stomach. The useless cloth hanging loosely off your arms.
“Better” he coos his appraisal, as he glides the tip of the knife from your neck to your navel.
Your chest heaves as the reality set in like a boulder dropping in your stomach. You can’t believe this is how your ‘fun night out’ is going. Cursing your luck as you wonder why the hell your intelligence only seemed to lead you to trouble and scummy men.
“All of this because I solved your stupid riddles” you gripe, shaking your head in bitter disbelief.
“Stupid?” He repeats, his face twisting in disgust at the insult.
“Yeah, what is it? You have a problem with women smarter than you? No, that can’t be it, you’d have to be used to that by now.” You sneer.
You don’t know where this boldness is coming from, but something about this man makes you angry, and you figure, what do I have to lose?
His face twists in anger and he slams the dagger into the wall above your head. Your head is now caged in by three sharp knives and yet you suppress a flinch.
“That, wasn’t so smart, darling.” His lip curls in amusement as he backs off slightly and grips the rounded edge of the board spinning it until you are hanging upside down.
Tags: @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @caffiend-queen
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A/N: Alright, here it is! Part two of the story I posted here (I guess I should come up with a title for it, huh?) There a few hundred words less than the other one but I liked the way it ended and I decided to go with it. I still have ideas to keep it going so let me know if you're interested in it. Hope y'all enjoy it!
Pairing: Jake x MC
Word Count: 2.7k
Warnings: spoilers for ep. 8 (still), a little jealous!Jake, and you can see some of my own theories there but nothing much
Falling asleep was never something that came easily to Jake; the constant fear and anxiety of being found were always in his head and every little noise outside of his room would startle him awake, no matter how long he had been sleeping. Even when things were relatively safe and he knew there wasn’t anyone after him, sleeping was something Jake rarely did. He would sleep as little as humanly possible and usually only when he couldn’t bear to be awake any longer.
So it was a pleasant surprise when he quickly fell asleep by MC’s side. She had asked him to lay with her so she wouldn’t be alone because she was afraid of having more nightmares and Jake could never deny MC anything if there was the possibility of saying yes. They laid side by side, MC resting her head on his arm, her own over his waist, one leg between his, and her face mostly hidden in his chest. Jake had threaded his fingers through her hair, heard her sigh and relax against him, and she was asleep within minutes. She looked like the most gorgeous person he had ever seen and he was more than content in watching her throughout the night, to just keep her safe.
Still, Jake’s eyelids got heavy half an hour in, his hand tiring and resting on MC’s shoulder just before he finally gave in and let himself fall asleep, not wanting to fight to stay awake one more night.
When he woke up, it was to the smell of coffee and food, two things Jake wasn’t used to. His heart beat fastly as he sat up, looking around the room with wide eyes until he spotted MC sitting on the table with a mug in her hands and her tablet in front of her, and he remembered her showing up there the last night. She only raised one questioning brow, taking a sip from her mug as Jake finally breathed out, allowing himself to relax, and laid back on the bed. He heard MC chuckle and he only waved her off, closing his eyes and placing his arm over them. The bed was soft and still warm and Jake wouldn’t say no to getting some more sleep, even if he felt more rested than he had ever felt in years; he also wanted to bask in the feeling of being relaxed for a while longer.
A few minutes had passed when he felt the bed weigh down by his side and Jake felt MC’s hand in his hair, so he moved his face until her hand cupped his cheek. He took his arm off his face to look at her, smiling when he noticed the soft blush that covered her cheeks and placing one of his hands on her knees, running his fingers in random patterns.
Neither of them said anything for a while and Jake was more than content to just watch her, to memorize the soft lines of her face, the way her hair fell over her eyes, making them slightly darker but all the more beautiful. Her presence still didn’t feel real and Jake was afraid of it all being a dream—even if he wasn’t creative enough to come up with all of that—so he would take all the chances of having the reassurance that she was indeed there, he would take all the touches she deemed him worthy of having, he would enjoy all the looks she would spare him; anything that would allow him to have her as close as possible. He’d be happy to just look at her from across the room, to just know she was there with him and that she was real and safe and—
“Jake?” MC’s voice broke through his concentration and he blinked a few times to focus on her face again, finding a smirk on her lips.
“I’m sorry, MC. You were saying?”
“I just asked if you were hungry,” she answered through chuckles. “I made breakfast with some of the stuff you had in the fridge. I’d guess you’re just as hungry as I was when I woke up.”
Jake smiled, nodding before sitting up again. “Starving, actually. Do I smell coffee, too?”
“Of course you do. What do you think I am, a savage?” she pointed at the coffee pot on the table she was sitting at. “I wasn’t sure how you’d take your coffee and I didn’t try and guess it either.”
MC stood up and offered him one of her hands. Jake took it and let himself be pulled up by her, finding it all the better when she didn’t let go of his hand and walked with him to the table. She sat at the chair she was before, grabbing her mug once again. Jake poured himself some coffee on another mug and slowly sipped it as he watched MC read something on her tablet, her brows furrowing as she went along whatever text she had open. She would sometimes write something on the piece of paper she had by her side, then she would stare at it as she tapped her pen on the table, her lips moving as she reread some sentence or tried to make sense of something.
Jake realized he could stare at her all day, just watch as she did nothing out of the ordinary but still looked like the most amazing person in the whole world. That was until his stomach growled and he realized he actually needed to eat something and that he should get back to work. MC smiled at him when he raised from the table and walked to the kitchen. She had managed to put together some eggs with what seemed melted cheese and tomatoes, and Jake would be lying if he said it didn’t smell amazing. He took the whole pan and a fork with him before walking to his computer and turning it on.
There were a bunch of notifications from the group chat, mostly everyone keeping each other up to speed about how they were doing and that they were okay. MC had answered for both of them without actually saying they were together, but it seemed to be good enough for the rest of the group; she never ceased to amaze him with how well she dealt with people and how quickly and strongly she had managed to earn the trust from the group. Not that it should surprise him so much when he was also between the ones that had started to trust her so easily.
He hadn’t gotten any notifications about his persecutors nor any news about the police. Apparently, they were still investigating Hanson’s house and trying to find anything because, unsurprisingly, everything was gone by the time the police had gotten there. Good thing Jessica thought of taking pictures of everything so they could at least have some kind of proof; Jake wouldn’t be surprised if the police tried to turn it around and blame it all on the group. He opened Thomas’s videocall to try and see if anything stood out, if he could better the image of the kidnapper’s physique or face or anything that could tell them who it was behind the mask.
Sadly, there wasn’t much he could; even his extensive knowledge couldn’t magically unblurry the whole video or get rid of the mask. There were a few things he could take from the writings and pictures on the walls—not everything because it moved too fast—and he could say for sure that the kidnapper was strong and quick. Thomas had a hard time holding him when he yelled for Jessica and the kidnapper ran almost as fast as the two of them. Even if Michael had kept up with taking care of his physique and trained, he still would have a hard time keeping up with Thomas and Jessica.
Staring at the better screenshot he had managed to take from the kidnapper, he called out, “MC? Could you do me a favour?”
There was no answer and Jake turned his head to look at her. MC seemed deeply concentrated on whatever she was writing on the paper, her hand moving quickly and her head moving from the tablet to the paper and back to the tablet. He quietly stood up and made his way to her side, looking over her shoulder at the paper. Her handwriting was messy and things didn’t seem to follow an order Jake knew about, so he had no idea what she was writing. On the tablet, however, she seemed to be going through some police reports and their discoveries from the cloud. The only thing that stood out to him was the name ‘Phil Hawkins’.
Jake sighed, sitting on the chair next to her and placing a hand on top of the paper she was writing. MC pushed his hand enough so she could finish writing whatever she was writing before raising her head to face him, placing the pen on the paper.
“Everything okay, Jake?”
“I called you and you didn’t answer, thought I could take a look at what you were doing.” She dropped her eyes to the tablet and seemed to realize Jake knew she was searching for something about Phil. “What are you looking for, MC?”
“I’m trying to find out what they arrested Phil for and if we have anything that could prove his innocence.” She hesitated for a few seconds, her eyes darting down to her tablet before focusing on him again. “And I actually wanna ask a favour from you. Could you give me access to Phil’s phone?”
“Why?” Jake heaved a heavy sigh out his mouth, pulling his hand closer to him and staring at her. “Why are you so worried about him?”
She closed her eyes for a few seconds, straightening her back before looking back to him. “He trusted me enough to call me for help, Jake. Not a lawyer or his sisters, me. We still don’t know for sure what his connection to Michael is or how much they actually knew each other back then, but I believe him.” MC sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I know you don’t like him and I truly appreciate the fact that you want to protect me, but there’s a reason why you trusted me to help find Hannah.” She turned fully to him, placing a hand over his, her eyes soft and caring. “But you also have to trust my intuition. We both know it’s been right when you weren’t and I truly believe Phil is innocent concerning Hannah and Amy.”
“But you don’t know the whole truth either, MC. How can you be so sure you can trust him and that you won’t be helping a murderer get out of jail?”
MC smiled sadly, her eyes dropping to their hands. “You know, a while ago, when we first started researching about the man without a face, Richy asked me to be careful and not to turn it into a bigger thing than it was and I told him that I’m looking for facts and not monsters, and I am. I won’t get Phil out of jail by my intuition only. I need proof for the police to actually let him go and for me to be right. But I also need to look for the proof, I need to go through everything I can to make sure I’m right and for my conscience to be clean about freeing him. And if we’re going for not knowing the whole truth about something or someone,” she raised her eyes to him and Jake had never seen her look so serious before, “I also don’t know the whole truth about you but that doesn’t stop me from trusting you, does it?”
Jake didn’t have an answer to that and he couldn’t take looking at her eyes and seeing the hurt there. He knew she was right; he was, indeed, hiding things from her and, even if it was to protect her, it didn’t make it any less of a lie or an omission. How could he judge someone about hiding something when he was doing exactly the same, especially to her?
“Hey,” she placed a hand under his chin and raised his head so she could look at him. “I’m not saying it to make you feel bad. I’m sure you have your reasons to be hiding things from me, even if it’s just because of your hero complex, though it doesn’t make it any easier. But I also know everyone in the group is lying about something to me, too, just like you and Phil are. No one is one hundred percent honest all the time and I can’t force anyone to be. It just doesn’t stop me from wanting to help any of them or you. None of them have given me a bad enough reason not to try to help or to trust them. Even Lilly did her best to show she’s trustworthy. I don’t see any reason why it should be any different for Phil, especially if your only excuse is not liking him. As much of a flirt as he can be, it’s not enough for us to just let him rot in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, don’t you think?”
He sighed, nodding against her hand before turning his head to rest it on her palm, her thumb caressing his cheek. “Would you believe me if I said I’m actually feeling slightly guilty of going against proving Phil’s innocence, now?”
She chuckled, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “Have you forgotten who you’re talking to? Of course I believe you.” MC’s fingers trailed over his arm, leaving goosebumps in their trail, her eyes soft as she stared at him. “Will you give me access to Phil’s phone, then?”
“That’s not fair. You know I couldn’t deny you that, MC.”
“I know you can’t but it doesn’t mean I can’t ask nicely. Me proving Phil’s innocent isn’t about choosing between him and you, Jake. Believe me, Phil may be nice and flirty, but he’s not my type. I’d rather keep insisting on this stubborn hacker I know.”
Jake chuckled, placing his hand over MC’s and turning his head so he could kiss her palm. “If he’s as stubborn as you are, I’m sure you’ll have a hard time getting through him.”
“You have no idea.” MC smiled, tilting her head. “Will you do it?”
“Of course I will, on one condition.” She sighed and muttered something Jake couldn’t make out, though he was sure it was something sarcastic. “Promise you won’t put yourself in danger over this. Or in any more danger than you already are. Freeing Phil will never be more important than keeping you safe to me.”
“I promise. I mean, if we’re both careless, who the hell is going to make sure we’re not caught?” Jake laughed and shook his head at her. MC leaned closer to him, their foreheads touching, her other hand sliding up his arm until she placed it on his shoulder. “Jake?” He hummed, not being able to look anywhere but her eyes. “Can I kiss you?”
“Not if I kiss you first.”
But MC was faster in closing the distance between them and Jake got caught in how soft her lips felt under his and in how her hands moved to wrap around his neck and play with his hair. He moved one of his to MC’s waist and the other to her cheek, wanting to pull her as close as he physically could, wanting to share the same space with her, to keep her from moving away from him.
Sadly, his lungs didn’t seem to get the memo and they soon burned and forced him to part from her. When they broke apart, Jake panted a little, letting his forehead rest against hers and keeping his eyes closed. It took a few seconds before MC talked again, “You know, making out with me won’t rid you of hacking into Phil’s phone for me.”
Jake chuckled, opening his eyes to stare at MC, and he thought he had never felt as happy as he did at that moment.
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migilini · 3 years
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Not So Secret Anymore - Charlie Gillespie
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summary: It’s hard to hide a relationship from the public, particually when both work on the same show.
words: 2.5k
warnings: fluff
a/n: not my fave but i still somehow like it.
Requests are open :)
MASTERLIST
------------------------------------------------------
September
"When do we have our first interview?" you asked the boy whose head was in your lap. He looked up from his phone and your eyes locked with his green ones "Hmm, my calendar says in about 30 minutes."
You groaned at that and stopped playing with Charlie's hair which earned you a grunt and whine from him. "Sorry babe but I think I have to go, so I still have time to get ready and set up." You muttered and gave him a small kiss on his brown hair.
"Uhh fine." The weight lifted from your legs, you stood up and before you knew it you were thrown over his shoulder. Laughing, you slapped his butt and back repeatedly. "Babe! I mean it" you tried to press out between giggles, "we both decided to keep us a secret." He sat you down on the kitchen isle and cornered your body in between his arms, standing right in front of you, you're back hitting the kitchen cabinet.
"I know... come back later?" he asked and tilted his head, looking at you with big puppy eyes. "You know it." After a swift kiss, or rather a little make out session, you were on your way back to your own appartement. Just in time to change your top and put on a lip-gloss before opening your laptop and joining the interview.
"Hello everybody! I'm here with the cast of Netflix' Julie and the Phantoms that came out on Thursday. How are you guys?" the interviewer asked and smiled into the camera of his laptop. The whole cast chirped in with a good, great, or amazing.
"That's fantastic!" he clapped his hands "Now, Jeremy, how would you describe your Character and the show in general?"
"It's a show about ghosts from 1995 who come back 25 years later and join a band with Julie who didn't sing a note after her mother died. Reggie, the character that I play, is one of those ghosts and he is a loveable himbo. Did I use that word correctly Maddie?"
Maddie smiled and the interviewer changed the topic "Madison and y/n, birds have told me that this was your first ever acting job is that right?"
You nodded and signaled Maddie to speak first "Yes, and it was both amazing and traumatizing! I was so nervous, but the crew really helped to calm me down, especially y/n who just was in the same position as me, so we freaked out together most of the time." She smiled and the interviewer waited for you to answer. "Except, Maddie had a least some acting training at school, that's why she is the best. I more or less walked into the whole situation." You said laughing.
"I love this story." Jeremy exclaimed, making you slightly blush at his words.
"Would you be so kind and tell us?" the interviewer questioned and smiled at your little nod.
"Yes, yes of course. Well, I was on vacation with one of my good friends from back home..."
"She means Germany." Owen interrupted with a smile on his lips. "Yes, Owen. Thank you for adding important details. Anyways, we saw that there was an Open Audition nearby and though why not? We don't have anything to lose or to do on that particular day. And here I am, my friend sadly didn't get in."
"That really is an amazing story, I can see why Jeremy likes it so much. So, Charlie how would you describe y/n's and Luke's characters, she wasn't supposed to be in the script and was later added in right?" Charlie quirked up at the mention of your name and stated proudly. "Indeed, she impressed Kenny so much that he wrote a character just for her. He thought that Sunset Curve, the band name before we died, needed a female to handle their chaos or well... at least tries to. Y/N plays Allie, who against common speculation isn't any of the boys' love interest which is a very nice turn of events. She and Luke bud head a lot because Luke only thinks about music and the band and she tries hard to make him take breaks every now and then." 
A lovesick smile sat on your face while you listened to your boyfriend of nearly a year, once you realized your expression you quickly shook it off. Hiding this relationship was definitely going to be harder than expected.
The Interviewer asked some more questions before the last and dreaded question was thrown your way. "So, most of your fans are wondering if any of you guys are in a relationship." You and Charlie had discussed a million times before what you guys would say in such a moment, the two of you shared a look.
Jeremy's eyes switched from Charlie's box on his screen to y/n's before answering "I have a lovely wife! The rest of us are happily single, right guys?"
"100%" Maddie added, while Owen only shrugged, his dog conveniently jumping into his lap.
"How about the other two?" he eyed up the last remaining.
"Very single" Charlie laughed, and you agreed "Totally."
As time went on it was harder and harder for the two of you to hide the relationship, as you two spent nearly every day together and therefore did the same activities. Particularly after your social media accounts have gained over a million followers and people started to ship actors and tv show characters. But you two loved the little secret bubble you've created, there was no pressure to take good pictures together, or to post stories, to be asked a thousand questions about your relationship and no hate towards any of you.
December
It has been 4 months since the show released and the hype it got definitely was way more than you ever expected. It blew your mind. Currently, you are on Charlie and yours one-year anniversary / Christmas / good deeds vacation. Charlie and you found a good mix, that made you both happy, between chilling and doing adventurous things.
It was Christmas eve and Maddie wanted to do a 'guess the song Christmas Edition' with the main cast. Eagerly you agreed and hurried from the beach, where Charlie currently took the quiz at the bar you both sat on just minutes before, to your shared bedroom. You shot Maddie a quick text that you were 'out of the relationship zone' and ready when she was ready.
"Helloooo. How did the others do?"
"Not the worst but I still have faith in you to win this. ARE YOU READY?" she screamed the last part.
“I’m going to read you the lyrics of a christmas song and you have to guess the next line. There are certain cards that give one point and others give two. Whoever has the most points at the end…”
“Hopefully get your earrings” you asked with a sly smile and your shoulders raised.
Maddie laughed but shook her head “Sadly, no. I haven't figured out the price yet, but I for sure will! I like your backdrop by the way.” she added and you quickly looked behind you. You sat crisscrossed on the hotel room floor, you used the coffee table and a water bottle as a phonestand and used a white checkered wall as a background to try and hide the fact that you didn't sit in your living room.
January
“This should be the last box.” you cheered into the empty hall and shut the front door with a light push from your hip. Charlie popped his head out of the bedroom and walked over to, dropping his head on your shoulder in exhaustion. Nothing was set up, boxes stood randomly all over the apartment, the fridge stood there still empty and a lonely mattress covered the bedroom floor.
“The walls look a bit bare don't you think?” you said about a week later, standing in the middle of the now a bit furnished living room. Strong arms sneaked their way around your waist and a head dropped on your shoulder.
“Hmm… you're right. What do you have in mind?” Charlie said and turned you around so you were facing him. He smiled at the spark in your eyes “I was thinking, a yellow akzent wall with random secondhand pictures and some pictures of us, all in frames of course. So it's gonna have this homey and creative atmosphere.” You rambled on for a while longer, telling him where you think his instruments could go, the pillows you saw online and thought they worked perfect with the colour of the couch. Charlie just stared at you, a dumb smile on his lips with his arms around you.
“Do you not like it?” you noticed that he hasn't talked for a while and got worried. “I love it. We could live in a dumpster for all I care, as long as I have you by my side.” You fake gaged at his romantic words and gave him a kiss.
The first time people got really suspicious was the time you accidentally walked in on a live he had on Instagram. He sat in front of his instruments, phone propped up before him. You thought that he was already finished but you were wrong.
“Do you think this…” you walked into the room, a shirt in your hand that you just took out of the dryer and lost your words the moment you saw him sitting in front of his phone. He looked at you with wide eyes, his brain clearly searching for a good excuse. 
“Is that y/n?” he read outloud from the chat, gesturing you do sit next to him. “Yes it's her! We’re hanging out and she helped me with my washing because I somehow still don't know how to do it.” he laughed nervously, his hand grabbing yours out of the frame.
“He promised me food and I live really close by, so I thought I'll help this poor man out.”
May
Looking back at this moment now, you and Charlie weren't sure why you just didn't come clean. You didn't mean to hide the relationship this long, it just kinda happened and at one point it just got too awkward to tell. It was fairly easy to hide most of the time, you didn't most that much on instagram and Charlie only showed parts of his daily life.
The easiest was the time you filmed JATP Season 2. You were expected to hang out and live together. Back in 2019 you already lived with Owen and Charlie. This time poor Owen had to live with a couple instead of just two friends. (You were already dating for a while back then but didn't tell the cast, to not make a fuss.)
It wasn't like the fans didn't suspect a thing, especially after Owen posted a video of you two fooling around. 
Everybody sat outside, enjoying the everwarming sun on their skin. Half of the cast was already in costume just waiting for the break to end. In typical Allie (your character) fashion you wore an overall with a tight tank top underneath, your makeup stood out from the others with the heavy blush, freckles and black eyeliner. 
Charlie, in his Luke wardrobe, thought that it was funny to stand in front of you to shield you from the sun.
"Stop that" you whined and tried to shove him away, which was harder than you thought considering he stood before you and you sat on a bench.
"Make me." He flirted and stood even wider before you, puffing out his chest. Raising an unimpressed eyebrow, you stole his beany with a swift motion. His expresion quickly changed from cocky to shocked, snickering was heard from Maddie who was used to this type of behaviour.
"Ups… heavy wind blows in the shadows." You explained nonchalantly and pulled the beany on your head, sticking your tongue out at your boyfriend.
"Oh it's on my lady" he growled "I'm giving you a three second advantage. One…" your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up. "Two…" you got up and scanned the place internally making a good running line. "Th-.." you began sprinting across the lot. You heard the laughing from your castmates behind you as you and Charlie ran in circles. 
Unfortunately, he was still fitter and faster than you and about a minute into the running he had you thrown over his shoulder.
"Surrender!" he screamed as you tried to wiggle out of his grip.
"Never!" You screamed back and wiggled even harder.
"Surrender or i'll have to tickle you" he warned and those were the last words Owen was able to film before a producer yelled that the break was finished.
February
“Baby, if I would believe this News Article, you have a secret girlfriend, but it's not me.” you showed him your phone screen.
“I’m not cheating on you. I would never, i'd die rather than…” his frantic expression made you snort. “I know. Oh my god! People saw you with Lia.” you held his hands comfortably.
“Lia as in your best friend Lia?”
“The one and only. People noticed the hickeys... At least they’re getting closer now. So are we still on for the masterplan? You by instruments and I'm gonna sit in the bedroom?" He nodded and smiled at the sight of your equally plastered neck. 
Eventually, before you even were able to execute the as you'd like to say 'masterplan' your relationship got outed. I mean it was time, the two of you getting lazier with the hiding as time went by. 
Fans noticed that you wore a lot of Charlie's things and that you and him always seemed to be at the same place at the same time. It was actually one of your lives that spilled the secret. 
"That's a really nice akzent wall" you read outloud from the chat "oh thank you! It was a long process to get all the pictures but it was actually Charlie's idea to not only have pictures but also plane tickets, date memories and so on hung up on that wall. It really makes it homey. I think to get that wall this crowded it took us...what? About well since we moved in…" you didn't even realise what you said you just babbled and then it was out.
"Charlie actually is home! I could call him. Babe! Come here for a sec- oh my god!" Your hands flew up to your mouth in realizion. 
From that moment on you were public and your social media exploded once again. However the two of you were happy to finally show each other off.
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tokoyamisstuff · 3 years
Text
Dark Side Of The Moon Ch. 1 - Dark! Loki x Reader
Chapter 1: Speak to Me/Breathe
Chapter Summary: The last thing you remember was being mortally wounded, now having woken up in a completely different reality. And you’d soon need to face the horrors of who would seek you out...
Warnings: Violence, Blood, Suicide Attempt, Graphic Descriptions of Death, Dark! Loki, Spoiler you kinda die but kinda don't
Words: approx. 3800
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[Story Masterlist]
Masterlist to my other works right ->Here<-
Lyrics used from the Song: Kina ft. Snow - Get You The Moon
“Y/N, look out!”
The piercing sounds of gunfire nearby made your eardrums ring, yet Steve’s words got through to you nonetheless.
But you were determined to end this, here and now.
Tony was the first one at your side, catching you in his arms before you hit the floor. However, you could only do so much as whimper a silent apology to your friends, who now had to live with the consequences of your actions.
“Why did you do this?!” you heared Dr. Strange yell as he unsucessfully tried to close the deep cut in your gut. Too afraid of what you might see if you’d look at the wound, your glare was locked on the beautiful sky - yes, the sun was almost setting, and it was somehow calming to you that this would most likely the last thing you’d set eyes upon.
“There was no reason to be this reckless!” Steve followed close by, his scolding soon turning into desperate screams. “Fuck. FUCK!” If Captain America himself is cussing, then it’s as severe as you thought it to be.
Your wounds were lethal, that much was sure.
And of course they were right, as always: You didn’t need to play the martyr here, throwing yourself into danger to shield your comrades - well, you did anyway, and there was no going back now.
On the other hand, they were the ones taking a gravely depressed widow onto a dangerous mission. But you did not want your precious friends to blame themselves for that, for it was your own wish.
Dying in an honorable battle was what would send you to Valhalla, after all - where you could finally meet him again, hopefully.
The only one not having spoken a single word up until now was Thor, very well knowing what all this was about. It was no secret that you were sick and tired of how your life had turned out to be, ever since the Infinity War.
You felt empty. Incomplete. Desperate. Hallow.
The God of Thunder had turned his back to you, yet there was still agony radiating from that already broken man. Your almost-brother-in-law was the only one who could possibly understand your pain. Thor Odinson had lost everything: His homeland, most of his tribe, his family and best friend - and soon, you as well.
All this time, you wanted to be strong. For them, who had also lost so much!
But at some point things just got out of control.
“You can’t leave me alone, Lady Y/N! Not you too!” Thor finally whimpered as he fell onto his knees, softly squeezing your hand. “You’re the only thing I have left from him!
So this is what dying feels like.
The bloodloss caused your limps to go limp, and when the pain began to stop and got replaced by numbness, you knew it would soon be time. Your brain lost the remaining control over your body, and you found yourself encoated by pure nothingless.
Only able to listen by their screams, cries and kind words - at least you’d die surrounded by those marvellous people. It sure was a privilege knowing them.
You weren’t afraid - all in all, it had been a good life, after all. 
There were no regrets.
“Shh” you hushed them, using your last bit of strenght so your lips formed somewhat of a most broken smile, forming words between gurling on your own blood.
“It’s alright, I-” you cut yourself off, trying to scream as a last, torturing pain shot through your whole system. “I-I-I’ll-- meet him again...you know?”
“I’m no-not strong enough, please...” Thor cried out like you had never seen him before, feeling a tide of guilt wash over you. “Loki wouldn’t have wanted you to go like this! He told me to protect you, so you could lead a long and happy life!”
Without him? Impossible!
“You gave me a shoulder when I needed it
You showed me love when I wasn’t feeling it
You helped me fight when I was giving in
And you made me laugh when I was losing it”
Yes, indeed: You had been to selfish to keep on living just for the sake of your friends, burdening them with yet another loss.
“I-I don’t wanna go...this was a mistake, I- please...”
How badly did you want to soothe them right now, telling them that everything would be alright and you’d meet them again, eventually?
It was too late now.
Your body gave up earlier than your soul, which had endured and kept on all this time, even in it’s shattered state.
And when Tony’s palm gently closed your eyes, making it easier for you to embrace the cold darkness, the last thing you heared before your senses gave up were startling you enough to almost bring you back to life:
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
That voice was familiar, yet it didn’t belong to Loki. Dr. Strange, no- Stephen Strange, your friend and mentor of the mystic arts.
“I don’t have the heart to allow this to happen” he stated frantic, making you wonder if that was a dream of your hypoxic brain or if you were still able to hear them? People tend to say the sense of hearing dies last, after all. “She still has a pulse, even though weak. Hurry!”
Their voices were far in the back, words way too far out of your reach to understand. As if you were an outsider, only observing from a distance.
Your friends were fighting, or maybe discussing something. That much you could make up from their tone, but your mind was too exhausted to make sense of anything.
It felt as if you were already without a body, floating through the unknown like a feather in the wind - not knowing where fate would lead you to next.
Everything was numb - even your pain. It was soothing, somehow.
Because you had been a ghost way before, when you were alive even. An empty shell of a human, acting like they weren’t dead on the inside.
Coherent thoughts, memories, emotions...even the fractions of your own past you had both collected and surpressed. Right now, they were all restrained and pushed far in the back of your very core, where you were finally able to evaluate them without earthly bondings.
Was this heaven, hell - or maybe both or none or them?
____
"Be aware of the limits this tactic has. It’s a very drastic measurement that can most likely be used only once in your lifetime, and it is not guaranteed to work either.”
Stephen’s voice again. You recall that scene, it’s been long in the past...but why are you remembering it now?
Yes, this was familiar. All of you had been invited to the Sanctum Sanctorum, a fitting place to teach about this ancient knowledge.
You clearly remembered that Loki was absent in any of the Doctor’s lessons, feeling that a “puny human” was “unworthy” to teach him, and “it would be nothing new anyway, Y/N, I am a god and the way better wizard, I know it all already.”
What he was about to tell you back then was some kind of crazy emergency-plan: Dangerous, unpredictable and escpecially untested.
“I’ve only read about this tactic up until now” the mage pondered loudly as he picked at his goatee, earning some childish giggles by you and Tony. “So I cannot promise that it will function as planned. The Multiverse is dangerous and acts in unforseen ways.”
“Very reassuring” you had mocked at the time, not really biding the topic any importance or thought ever again.
But now...
The trick sounded way simpler than it actually was, being as complex as it is only natural for something like that, costing a huge prize at that:
Dr. Strange would send any of you who were on the brink of death through a portal, thus leading you into a random dimension of this endless Multiverse.
That dimension, in which your alternate self has most likely died, will gladly accept you as a “replacement”. Some kind of what Peter Parker called a “glitch” will occur, instantly healing all of your wounds - even fatal ones, so you could remain in the timeline that was missing you. 
Yet the consequences of this maneuvre would be unspeakable.
_____
“That bastard...” you gnarled internally, finally realizing why you would remember this of all things after apparently having just taken your dying breath. “He didn’t just-”
Eventually, you realized having escaped death’s grip, slowly beginning to regain your senses - yet still refusing to open your eyes.
“I don’t want to leave this place. My friends -- will I never see them again? No. NO! Life is meaningless. Just let me be with him. Please! Loki...”
“’Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
‘Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you
And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you”
Another part of Strange’s lesson echoed in your head, revealing that you were now in fact up on your own.
“Not even I can tell just how much this timeline will differ from what you know. Of course I will search for you right away, but considering the countless possibilities, it might very well be that we’ll never meet again. But you’re alive, and hopefully safe. That’s all that counts.”
Grass tickled your palm as you twitched your fingers, testing the limits of your body, which had literally just tricked death. Suddenly, you felt a stinging pain, almost like lightning boring into your temportal. The origin of this pain remained unknown.
When you finally found the courage to sit up, your flesh still feeling as heavy as lead, you realized that Stephen was most likely wrong: He assumed that you’d find yourself in a place you had a deep connection with, yet that place was unrecognizable to you.
Then why were you here of all places?
Actually, this location was incredibly beautiful, managing to stop the aching in your heart, if only for the fraction of a second.
Your former lover would’ve loved this place.
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“'Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you
And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you”
Even though not all of Dr. Strange’s speculations were correct, you decided to stick to his emergency plan: Find as much information about this “new” earth as possible, point out the differences to your initial one, and then contact the Dr. Strange of this dimension.
Two mages working on crossing each other’s path would at least higher the stakes to find your original timeline.
Well, no one could guarantee you that the Avenger’s existed on this timeline, and they could as well be evil in this one...what a weird and horrifying imagination.
Knowledge really was power - that was another thing Loki had taught you a long time ago, and it would prove valuable, especially in this situation.
As you wandered this surprisingly extensive garden and getting lost in admiring the beauty of it’s nature, you found yourself devoid of any weapons. That fact made you slightly uncomfortable, even though your current location seemed absent of any ememies, making a peaceful impression. 
Seemingly there weren’t any evil schemes going on in this dimension.
It basically were only minor differences, at least that was your first impression. At least there were no changes in natural laws or something as big.
“I miss the days where magic and science didn’t mix up like this” you whispered, mainly to yourself as you examined the new, large scar on your abdomen - the only memory left of your “almost-suicide-mission”.
To be more precize: The only thing left from your former life, now leaving you able to start completely anew, wether you wanted it or not.
Sun had almost drowned behind the horizon, diving the sky in a deep orange. Your eyes were still adjusting, yet you could’ve sworn to see the silhouette of a person. It was far away, at the entrance on what appeared to be a palace belonging to this garden.
Apparently, you had invaded someone’s propery, and you could only pray that it was noone important - or worse, a owner who would defend their ground with violence.
You don’t think your earth had a place this...flashy. The castle was way bigger than any you knew on the other timeline. The first difference you had figured out, yet it was only a minor one.
Maybe the headache you were experiencing was from someone making you  out as an intruder?
One thing was sure: You had been noticed, and you immediately were on high alert.
Where to run to or at least hide?
There was a maze made out of bushed parting you and the palace, and since there was no better option, you’d enter it. Talking to that person and convincing them of your goodwill would make it way easier to gain information.
“You may come out” you declared as you made your way, unable to evaluate the situation properly. “I mean no harm. I’m just lost.”
Was it dangerous to be here? Obviously, you were not allowed to be here anyway.
However, when you had finally found the escape to that maze, only several hundret meters away from the building, the person was already gone.
Had your mind just played a dirty trick on you again? Wouldn’t be the firt time it’d betray you like this...
No. You clearly felt someone watching you.
And as soon as your senses had sharpened to your usual self again, you instantly jumped back, gaining some distance to the Citauri that had just appeared behing you.
Shit! You weren’t ready to fight again just yet. Not like this.
And where one of those vile beasts were, many others would appear. You knew that much.
Had Thanos invaded this earth? Oh god, not again...not him. You were so damn tired of those fights, escapes and especially the pain that always inevitable followed after.
Just when it was about to swing it’s weapon at your head, you felt dizziness crawl up your nerves, making you collapse on the floor. Lucky for you, because only like that, the stike didn’t hit you.
Even though having been taught basic magic skills, that certain kind of spell you were unable to fight against - only true masters of the art were able to perform a sorcery that well.
The Chitauri had left your line of sight, yet the other figure from before reappeared in a pace so fast that your eyes couldn’t follow. They sweeped you off the floor just before your head would meet the hard pavement.
“And now you will answer to me, shapeshifter.”
Once again someone robbed you of the control of your life and body, leaving you without a free will.
How long had you been passed out now? You didn’t know and honestly didn’t care either - since you had nothing to lose anymore.
In the meantime, the owner of those lands had dismissed his guards, not wanting to be disturbed as he was left alone with you in the giant throne room.
The apparent ruler of that unclassified location was sitting on his throne, warily observing you from above. You were lying to his feet at the bare floor, every piece of clothing robbed from you and restrained by a pile of chains. He watched every twitch, all breaths you’d take or groans escaping your mouth until you would finally awake.
Oh, how you really were just like he remembered you, with every little detail he had adored.
At long last, you would finally open your lids again, blinking heavily as you took in your surroundings - but when your eyes met certain emerald ones, they immediately sprung wide open, the emptiness in your heart being filled with all kinds of emotions once again.
The man - it was him!
“'Cause you are, you are
Oh, you are
Oh, you are
You are'Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you”
“Loki!” you screamed from the bottom of your heart. Without a single coherent thought, your legs would carry on their own as your weakened body stumbled in their attempt to climb those stairs.
For both of you, that momend of reuinion had waited far too long.
The god was temptated to approach you, his trembling hands already reaching out to catch your fragile body should you fall - but suddenly, you felt his knuckles digging into your cheekbone.
“Stay away from me, you fake!” Loki yelled furiously as you hit the ground, rubbing your cheek as you tried to understand what just happened.
Yeah, that sure brought you back to reality again, after such a short high.
Right.
That isn’t your Earth - and not your Loki either.
You couldn’t even be sure this world’s Y/N and Loki had the same kind of relationship the two of you had back in your timeline! The only thing you knew was that he knew you from his past, but as it seemed not pleasantly.
Now that you looked closely, he even had less scars, almost looking untouched and pure - like a true, invincible god. Maybe life here had treat him well, unlike his counterpart from your timeline.
He was still wearing that excessive outfit with the golden horns, and much to both your amazement and fear, it seemed that he still possessed theTesseract.
Could it be...
Before you could connect the dots, the king would soon interrupt your string of thoughts. “Drop that disguise, scum!”
Loki kept on degrading you as he paced in front of his throne, brow sinking deeper and deeper. “Don’t think you can somehow appeal to those pathetic sentiments” he explained, “I’ve freed myself from them long ago. Just stop making a fool out of yourself, and maybe I’ll reward it with a quicker death.”
Yet when he saw your most innocent smile, even this Loki would stand frozen in place, deeply in shock.
How he yearned to see it, all those years - to tell you just how sorry he was for everthing he’s done.
No.
He had left all of this behind - to claim his birthright and rule.
“I-I’m deeply so-sorry...that is a mistake” you whimmered with a broken voice, wiping a tear of joy out of your face. “My feelings overwhelmed me, I guess. I’ve never thought to see you again, even if you’re not the same Loki I know.”
Still cowering on the floor, you looked up to him with compassionate eyes, as if he had not just beat you before. You did not dare to make any more, wanting for Loki to try and understand himself.
“A variant?” he gnarled, just like you did when he realized.
No force in the world had allowed him to access other parts of the Multiverse, no matter how desperately he tried - and now fate had literally dropped you in front of his door.
Loki balled his fists in anger, making you flinch as you anticipated yet another blow.
“Dear, I-”
“Shut up!” the God of Mischief shoutet, causing his magic to break free. The walls of the palace were shaking, most windows and furniture having been destroyed. “It’s no use, woman!”
That man was way more powerful than the “puny god” people called names back on Asgard - and his sheer might made you quiver.
Just what kind of monster had he become, and why?
“L-Loki, please...” you tried to appeal to the last bit of humanity  he might possess, and your begging made his guts twist in agony. “You’re scaring me.”
“You better be scared!” he exclaimed, grabbing you by the chin and forcing you to look at him. “No matter what disgracefully weak “alter ego” of me you knew, I am built different. Stronger. Better. Everyone in the Nine Realms fears me, and I desire nothing else! Everything distracting me from fulfilling my destiny and reign over you dull creatures I got rid of. You’re nothing more than an insect I might as well crush right here and now!”
Choking on a sob, he tried to relish that last chance he got to admire you, smell you, touch what he cannot possess...no matter how many universes there may be.
A flood of tears cracked down your face at his words, yet you couldn’t be helped.
No matter what he would say - he looked just like him.
And that was enough for you to feel alive after such a long time of being a walking dead. There had to be a reason you landed right at his home, of all places in this universe. You had a connection, both of you felt it ever since you had been transported here.
"May I ask-” you disrupted yourself, awaiting some reaction. But the conqueror had seemed to have spoken what he thought important to say, not declining your question at all.
Whenever he seemed fit, he could disintegrate you - yet right now, this situation was way too intriguing.
“What happened to myself in this reality?”
Loki swallowed harshly, letting go off of you as he threw you down the stairs. He wouldn’t even bide you one look as he tried to surpress the turmoil of emotion still running through his veins, desperately keeping it from breaking free.
The outcome would always be the same: Suffering, for both of you.
“And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you.”
He only ever wanted it to stop hurting. To become unfeeling, since love had always been poisoning his mind, sometimes being gifted with it even though he knew he would never be worthy of anything else than disgust and hate.
And that contradiction caused him to throw away anything good that happened to him, through you. Let it be taken away from him just shortly after finally learning to remotely enjoy.
You deserved the truth, a reason to hate him even more than you probably already did.
Had you only come to his salvation earlier, then he might have been helped - yet now, he was beyond redemption. Broken. Sick. Dangerous.
And when the Chitauri dragged you away, his last words let your blood run cold:
“She died through my hands.”
_____
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ibijau · 3 years
Text
Futures Past pt15 / on AO3
Nie Huaisang returns to the Unclean Realm after his failed year in Gusu
The Unclean Realm, usually a noisy place, had fallen nearly entirely silent as most of the disciples and quite a few servants gathered around its gate. They were all careful to keep a respectable distance from the gate in question, in case things went wrong, but still did their best to be close enough to get a good view. Not that it was particularly necessary to be near enough to hear what was happening. Nie Mingjue had a voice that carried, and it only got worse when he was angry at his brother.
Which he currently was, of course, and for good reason everyone thought. After all, Nie Huaisang had just returned from his time studying in the Cloud Recesses, though he’d apparently done little learning there.
But it wasn’t his failure to pass his exams that had his brother so upset. It was more the fact that on the way back home, Nie Huaisang had decided to leave on his own and disappeared for well over three weeks. The other Nie disciples travelling with him had just found a note on his bed one morning announcing that he didn’t feel like going home yet. They had panicked and sent an urgent message to their sect leader, who had also panicked and launched a search for his brother, in vain.
“You could have been kidnapped!” Nie Mingjue shouted at his brother, who had arrived that morning, looking as careless as if he’d just been gone for a shichen on an errand. “You could have been attacked by bandits! Did you even have your sabre with you?”
“Of course I did!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, patting the weapon at his waist. “What was I going to do, walk around?”
“It would have been safer than flying in your case! What if you’d fallen?”
Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes. His cultivation had actually improved quite a bit while he was in the Cloud Recesses, if only because the Lans didn’t let him avoid training as much as his brother did. He was even quite close to forming a golden core, something he’d more or less given up on, and for which he hoped he’d get praised, whenever his brother calmed down enough to hear the news. So while he wasn’t the strongest of flyers, he was doing much better than he used to.
Not that Nie Mingjue was in any mood to hear that.
“I was careful, I swear,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “You’re always saying I should be more independent anyway!”
“Independent, not reckless! And who’s that?” Nie Mingjue roared, pointing at the person next to his brother.
That had been the question on everyone's mind since Nie Huaisang had arrived a little earlier, a boy much younger than himself walking at his side, but so far Nie Huaisang had avoided answering.
“Oh, that’s Xue Yang,” Nie Huaisang cheerfully announced, patting the young boy’s shoulder. “I picked him up along the way. You should test him, I really think he’s going to be a great cultivator someday! Xue Yang, that’s my brother, say hi to him?”
Xue Yang threw Nie Mingjue a very unimpressed look, and gave a half-hearted bow.
“It's an honour to meet Nie zongzhu,” he said with some uncertainty, probably wishing he hadn't been so close while Nie Mingjue shouted at his brother like that.
“Huaisang, where did you find that child?” Nie Mingjue asked.
“It’s a long story,” his brother said.
Nie Mingjue nodded, and waited for the story in question to be told. Nie Huaisang just smiled at him.
“Are you going to tell me how you found him?” Nie Mingjue insisted when nothing more came.
“No. It’s a long story, but it’s not very interesting. He’s here now, though, so that can’t be helped.”
Hearing this, Nie Mingjue turned his attention to Xue Yang, as if hoping he might get an explanation there. The young boy just gave him a wicked smile.
“He said I’d get candies if I came,” Xue Yang said. “Am I gonna get them now or what?”
Nie Mingju’s eyes snapped back to his brother.
“Huaisang, did you steal a child by offering him treats? You realise how bad that looks?”
“It’s not stealing when it’s a person,” Nie Huaisang protested, nervously twisting his fingers for a moment before hiding his hands behind his back. “And I think children count as people, not things. Right?”
“Fine. Did you kidnap a child?”
A little embarrassed, Nie Huaisang hunched his shoulder and looked down at his feet without answering. A mistake, it turned out, because Xue Yang took that as his cue to explain things.
“It’s okay, I don’t have a family anyway,” Xue Yang announced. “He asked before taking me with him, to make sure I’m an orphan. And your brother’s nice. He took me to all those nice inns along the way, and every time he made sure I had food and a bath. He said the baths were very important.”
Nie Mingjue glared at his brother who winced because that could indeed be misunderstood. Which was exactly why Xue Yang had said it like that, he suspected. But really, Xue Yang had been in a pretty bad state when Nie Huaisang had picked him up. His hair was nearly stiff with dirty, he’d recently bled all over his clothes, and he had lice, and...
“Fine, I guess I’ll have to tell the story,” Nie Huaisang grumbled. He had already come up with a sanitised version of events that he could actually share with his brother, but it still annoyed him to not be trusted more. “So, I wanted to visit Kuizhou, you see? Everyone says the landscapes around it are so gorgeous, and so melancholic, and they are by the way. I want to go back to paint and write and…”
“Focus, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue ordered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Yes, right. So, I went there,” Nie Huaisang said, playing with the hem of his sleeve. “And I was visiting and stuff, and then I see a grown man punching and kicking a kid! Just because the kid had grabbed a few things from him!”
“Yeah, it was just his purse, and there wasn’t even that much money in it,” Xue Yang helpfully provided. “Well, and a few buns from his stall, and those apples from the stall next to his, and…”
“Shut it,” Nie Huaisang hissed, before returning his attention to his brother, a bright smile on his face. “So, you always say we have to defend the weak, and nobody’s weaker than a kid, so I went to check what was going on, right? And the man told me that kid is a terrible thief that’s plaguing their town, and he’s going to beat him up until all his bones are broken and he can never bother anyone else. But it’s just a kid!”
“Yeah, I’m just a kid!”
“Shut it! Anyway, I rescued the kid, because he really was in a bad state. And then I figured, well, how can someone that’s just a kid be such a good thief, right? So I checked and he’s got good dispositions for cultivation!”
It had been a lucky realisation, because he hadn’t known for sure that Xue Yang even was meant to become a cultivator, nor a talented one for that matter. In fact, the whole thing had been unbelievably lucky. Sure Nie Huaisang had spent three whole days searching everywhere for Xue Yang, but he’d been about ready to give up when he’d finally found him in roughly the exact way he'd described.
“The local sect are a bunch of pricks who didn’t want to take him in when I asked,” Nie Huaisang explained, as if he could ever have left Xue Yang into the care of strangers who might have failed to stop him from becoming evil. “So I brought him home. He’s going to be a great disciple!”
Having listened to that story with mounting annoyance, Nie Mingjue glared at his brother.
“Huaisang, that’s…”
“You always say people deserve a chance no matter their background!”
“Oh so you do listen when I talk sometimes?”
“He’s an orphan, and he’s talented, and someone has to do something, and we can’t send him back or else he might continue stealing maybe!”
“I’ll definitely continue stealing if you send me back,” Xue Yang promised with a smirk.
Nie Huaisang glared at him. Evil or not, Xue Yang knew how to be annoying.
He also knew how to be charming, though. He’d been absolutely delightful with a bunch of people they’d met on the way to Qinghe whenever he’d thought he could get something out of it. And it had worked, too. Xue Yang had obtained a lot of sweets from a lot of people, as well as some money here and there. And that was without mentioning the stuff he’d just outright stolen, sometimes from the very people generously sharing something with him. He was a little pest, all right.
But he was smart too, smart enough to understand what an incredible opportunity he’d been given. It would have been easy for Xue Yang to run away into the night, taking with him all of Nie Huaisang’s money. He was a skilled enough thief to manage it, especially once he’d realised that Nie Huaisang wasn’t a skilled enough cultivator to pursue him. But he hadn’t, because he’d been promised a chance of becoming a cultivator if Nie Huaisang could just convince his brother.
Of course, that was a pretty big 'if'.
A year earlier, Nie Huaisang would have been certain that he could convince his brother of anything. He’d never had any reason to doubt that, not until his future self had come into his life uninvited and whispered poison to him about Nie Mingjue having a bad opinion of him. And maybe he was right, that old prick. Nie Huaisang had messed up so badly in the Cloud Recesses, failing his classes in a way most people never did. He’d shamed his sect, his clan, his brother, and now he had the galls of asking for a huge favour, as if he had any right to…
“How old are you?” Nie Mingjue asked Xue Yang, who shrugged.
“Dunno. I think I’m older than nine, maybe, ‘cause I remember that bad drought we had one year. But old Cheng says I’m probably less than twelve, ‘cause I don’t have all my teeth yet.”
To prove his point, Xue Yang clenched his jaw and bared his teeth. He was indeed missing one canine on the left, while the right one was just starting to regrow. It made for a very odd smile, and yet Xue Yang knew how to use that to look cute sometimes.
Cuteness wouldn’t work on Nie Mingjue though. Years of dealing with Nie Huaisang had made him nearly immune to it.
"What did my idiot brother tell you to convince you to come all the way here from Kuizhou?" 
"He said I'd learn to be a cultivator, and people wouldn't beat me up ever again for stealing," Xue Yang recited. "And he said I'd have to learn to be good and stuff, because it's a second chance for an honest life, and I figured, well, it's better than the streets."
Nie Mingjue nodded, though he still looked severe enough that Nie Huaisang wasn’t sure yet of his victory. 
"We have a certain way of doing things in my sect, and dishonesty isn't allowed. And I'll need to check if you can be taught at all. Come closer and give me your hand." 
Xue Yang, impossibly cocky a moment before, suddenly hesitated and glanced at both Nie brothers before hiding his hands behind his back. 
"Which hand ?" 
"Either one, it makes no difference." 
"It might a bit," Xue Yang grumbled before reluctantly raising both hands. 
Nie Mingjue frowned when he noticed that one finger was missing, but Nie Huaisang took it to be an encouraging frown and finally relaxed. It expressed concern rather than anger, and that had to be a step in the right direction. 
"That looks old," Nie Mingjue noted, grabbing Xue Yang's left hand to inspect it. "Hm. That's not neat enough to have been cut off. What happened to you?" 
"Someone's cart ran over my hand on purpose," Xue Yang muttered, trying in vain to pull his hand free. "I was little. It's fine now, I swear!"
It was far from fine, actually. Xue Yang himself might not have realised it since he was used to it, but Nie Huaisang had noticed that the young boy favoured his right hand a lot more than was normal, even for a right-handed person. In another sect, that might have been a problem. But Qinghe Nie was more martial than most others, a little more reckless too, and they had their share of cultivators who'd had nasty accidents. 
A missing finger in a stiff hand wasn't so bad compared to some people. 
"We'll have to get you a light sabre," Nie Mingjue said, mostly to himself after a quick check of the boy’s meridians. "Something you can use one-handed, like Huaisang. And I'll ask our doctor to have a look at it. It looks painful." 
"No, it's fine, I don't feel pain anymore," Xue Yang proudly announced as he pulled his hand free. "Trained myself out of it, mostly."
"You are definitely going to see Zhilan," Nie Mingjue replied, frowning harder. "Huaisang’s right, you do have potential, so we'll train you.” He turned toward their audience of disciples, and gestured for one man to walk closer. “Zonghui! Come and give that kid a tour, and a meal. When he's eaten, take him to see Zhilan, and have a bed prepared for him."
“I’m in?” Xue Yang asked, so startled that for once, he really did look his age.
He glanced at Nie Huaisang who grinned at him and nodded, then turned his eyes back to Nie Mingjue who nodded as well.
“You’re in. Go with Nie Zonghui, he’ll explain everything you need to know about being part of this sect.”
With surprising obedience that had to be a side effect of surprise, Xue Yang trotted away with Nie Mingjue’s first disciple. Nie Huaisang tried to follow, equal parts curious and worried about what might happen next if he lost sight of Xue Yang. He hadn’t taken two steps before Nie Mingjue grabbed him by the collar to stop him.
“And where are you going?”
Nie Huaisang pointed toward Xue Yang. His brother gave him a pointed look, and started dragging him in another direction, leaving him no choice but to follow or be strangled.
“I’m tired,” Nie Huaisang complained. Then, noticing that they appeared to be going toward the training grounds, he struggled against his brother’s grasp. “Wait, da-ge, I’m really tired, I mean it! We’ve had to walk so long, you know! We’ve only been able to hitch a ride on carts for some of the way, so I can’t feel my legs anymore for how much walking I’ve done lately.”
“If you’d come home directly from the Cloud Recesses, you’d have ridden in a carriage,” Nie Mingjue retorted without an ounce of pity. “Now let’s see if you’ve made any progress with your sabre, aside from using it to run away. We’re going to spar together.”
“I can’t, I’m so tired!” Nie Huaisang whined. “I’m going to die if I have to move! And you’re so much stronger than me, there’s no point in training together, the difference is too great! Da-ge, have some mercy, let me eat something first! Let me rest! And I need to change clothes too, and I really should check how my birds are, and…”
“Shut up you brat! This is your punishment for getting me so worried!” Nie Mingjue snapped, pushing his brother onto the softer soil of the training ground. “Do your warm-ups!”
“But I’m starving, da-ge!”
“That’s your own fault for running away!” Nie Mingjue replied, showing yet again he was the most cruel person in the entire world.
And yet as soon as Nie Huaisang started stretching in preparation for a friendly fight, Nie Mingjue asked a disciple to go ask the kitchens if they might send some fresh buns and a little tea that way. Aggravated as he was that his brother only cared about checking his cultivation and martial art progress, Nie Huaisang couldn’t help but smile.
After everything his older self had said about Nie Mingjue really despising him, he’d been worried that his brother would indeed be furious at him for everything he’d done, from failing his classes to forcing him to take in a miscreant. But no matter how shouty and frowny he currently was, it was clear to anyone who knew him, as his brother did, that Nie Mingjue was worried-angry rather than angry-angry.
Nie Huaisang had gambled and won, thus proving to himself that he definitely knew his brother better than his older self did.
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forzalando · 3 years
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The Perfect Arrangement | George Weasley | Pt. 1
Pairing: George Weasley x F!Reader AU: Bridgerton!AU Word Count: 2.1k Warnings: Bridgerton spoilers, mentions of alcohol
Summary: As a woman in the early 19th century, you’ve been told all your life that marriage should be your ultimate goal, however, you do not share that sentiment. When the insufferable George Weasley devises a plan that may solve your problems, how can you say no?
A/N: hi friends! this will be a multipart (probably 3-4 parts) George fic inspired by Bridgerton. i’m so excited for it and i hope you all are too :) thank you for reading!
The start of the social season had been, as you had expected, the topic of conversation around the ton for the past few weeks. It was impossible to go anywhere without hearing whispers of who would snag an engagement in the next few months.
Particularly, people had been interested in who the Queen would declare the “diamond of the season”. Your mother was positively convinced it would be you, but you had other plans in mind for your life other than parties and dresses and loveless marriage. However, when the Queen took one look upon your face, she quickly declared you incomparable, as she had done the same for Daphne Bridgerton, now the Duchess, a few years prior, and your fate was sealed.
As a member of the distinguished and esteemed Y/L/N family, and as the eldest daughter, you had a trivial, yet necessary and important role to play, even if you longed to free yourself from it. Your mother and father, as wonderful as they might be, had high expectations for you, and you would not and could not let them down.
Your mother fluffed your hair and primped your dress in preparation of the Danbury Ball, admiring you fondly and gushing about how beautiful you looked.
“Maybe your luck will be as wonderful as the Duchess, her love match was indeed unprecedented but oh so joyous. Do you think your fortune might align with hers, dear?”
“Mama,” you sighed. “I have no interest in a life like the Duchess’s. All the parties, teas, and properness. Besides, there isn’t another Duke for me to marry.”
“I did not mean that you would have to marry a Duke to share her fate; only that you may marry for love.”
You huffed as you turned away from the mirror. In truth, you had no interest in marrying for love, or marrying at all for that matter, but the duty of an eldest daughter was set in stone.
All too soon, you arrived at the Lady Danbury’s spectacular first ball of the season; the sea of gowns and tailored coats causing a queasy feeling to settle in your stomach, and you wished with all your might that anything at all would ruin the festivities.
A glass of champagne was placed in your grasp and you let your eyes wander around the room; Lady Eloise Bridgerton, a close friend of yours, donned a similar look on her face though her mother enthusiastically tried to get her to waltz across the dance floor.
Glancing to your left, you noticed Lord Farley, a rather grotesque older man, eyeing you up and down; his beady eyes causing the queasy feeling to return and for your feet to take off in what could almost be considered a sprint.
When he was no longer in your line of sight, you began to slow down your gait, but a shoulder roughly bumped into yours and an unattractive yelp escaped your lips.
The unmistakable chuckle that followed your outburst made you groan due to your detestation of the man you knew you had bumped into.
Lord George Weasley; a man, nay, a boy, with hair of fire and a wit to match. You had known him for years as you were the same age and his sister Ginevra was the best of friends with your younger sister.
“I want to believe, Miss Y/L/N, that you would not take such drastic measures to capture my attention, but I must say I am flattered nonetheless,” George teased, his hand reaching out to steady you as you recovered from the collision.
“Mr. Weasley, I believe you to know me better than that,” you spoke with gritted teeth as you swatted his hand away. “Besides, there are plenty of young women here that would kiss the ground you walk on. Might you bother them instead?”
“Ah, but where is the fun in that? I’ve noticed that you still have room on your dance card?”
“I always have room left on my dance card.”
You tried to step around George and escape his company, but his impossible height made it so easy for him to evade your attempts.
“Is that by choice or because you’re just so pleasant to spend time with?” he inquired with a smirk.
“Suppose a bit of both. Now, if you would be so kind, I’m quite parched and would love another glass of champagne.”
“Perfect, I shall accompany you.”
George Weasley, you surmised very early on, was nothing but a flirt. You wouldn’t go so far as to call him a rake, because as far as you knew he was an honorable man, but he was also most intolerable with his boyish charm, sense of humor, beautiful eyes…
Yes, you were quite sure that he was entirely intolerable.
“Have you told your mother you have no interest in procuring a husband, yet?” he mused, breaking you out of your trance as he carefully handed you a glass of champagne.
“Don’t call it procuring as if it’s a transaction. And no, I haven’t. Do you think I’d be standing here alive if I had?”
“Good point,” George hummed as his eyes surveyed the room, no doubt searching for the next woman so unlucky enough to be graced with his presence.
“How is your family?” you asked as you sipped on your flute of bubbling liquid.
“They’re doing well, thank you for asking. Work has been a bit hard on Dad but – ”
Before George could finish, a man approached you and bowed; taking the hand not holding the champagne flute and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
“Miss Y/L/N, would you like to join me for a dance?”
You noticed George looking on angrily at the sight before him, probably because his ego couldn’t take the interruption.
“I’m flattered, Lord Rainier? I believe?” When you received no objections, you continued. “As I was saying, I’m flattered by your offer but I simply must decline. I am feeling a bit ill and all that spinning might make me sick.”
“Yes, yes, of course, Miss Y/L/N. Perhaps another time?”
You gave him a small, soft smile and let out a sigh of relief when he walked away. Turning back to George, you urged him to continue. While you held him in contempt, or so you told yourself, you did enjoy his family as they were all simply lovely.
“You were saying, George?”
“Right, work has been a bit hard on Dad, after his accident a few months ago. He’s been doing better but Charlie had to take a break from his travels to come home and help out since he’s the eldest. Fred and Angelina are expecting again, if you haven’t heard. They’re hoping for a girl this time.”
“Maybe if you were more like your brother you’d be married and having children by now,” you teased.
He gasped and clutched his hand over his heart, drawing the attention of anyone near.
“You wound me, Y/N.”
Much to your dismay, you laughed at his actions, devastated that you gave him the satisfaction of knowing he was entertaining you. However, the moment was short lived as another man interrupted your conversation.
“Miss Y/N, I must say you are looking exquisite this evening. It would be a shame for your dress not to take a twirl on the dance floor. Might I accompany you?”
You tried not to groan when you noticed a line forming behind the man currently asking for a dance.
“Actually, Lord Beverly, I’m feeling a bit warm. I was just about to go outside for some fresh air.”
“I shall accompany you, then.”
“Without a chaperone? Goodness, no, please find another young lady to dance with. There are certainly many that would be delighted at the chance.”
You looked around Lord Beverly to see at least four other men waiting for their chance to ask you for a dance, and the thought of making up more excuses made your head spin. You graciously bid Lord Beverly a good evening, and turned on your heel towards the nearest exit.
In your haste, you did not notice George following you into the gardens.
“Well, you sure like to let them down easy,” he joked.
“George!” you cried. “We can’t be seen alone, are you daft? Trying to ruin me and my family?”
“Calm yourself, my Mother is just right there.”
You looked a bit to George’s left and saw his wonderful mother keeping a careful eye on the two of you, graciously leaving the attention of her husband to ensure that none would suspect foolery between you and George.
“As I was saying, it’s awfully obvious that you do not want any man to court you. Your mother will realize well and soon enough of your…aversion to marriage.”
“The only reason you know that is because you eavesdropped on a conversation I had with Eloise. But yes, I have no desire to marry, and I’m quite certain I never will. I’ll have to fight off suitors and think of a million excuses until I’m considered a spinster and men no longer want me.”
Silence enveloped you both as a tear slid down your cheek. You hastily wiped it away, hoping that George hadn’t seen, but of course, you were not so lucky.
“Is the idea of marriage really that upsetting to you, Y/N?”
“All those men, all they want is a woman to wear on their arm and to give them children. That’s what a woman’s life is in marriage. A husband doesn’t care about his wife’s passions, desires, intellect, among other things, and I can’t bring myself to entertain the idea of a life that has no room for my happiness.”
George was quiet; pondering your response and your feelings, when he was suddenly struck with the most brilliant of ideas.
You see, Mr. George Weasley was in love with Miss Y/N Y/L/N, has been for several years in fact. He couldn’t tell you exactly when or why, but he knew that the fluttering in his chest and the way his whole world became brighter when she entered a room meant that Y/N was more than just someone to engage in friendly banter with.
“I’ve thought of an idea,” George muttered, piquing your interest.
“Whatever might it be, Mr. Weasley?”
“Your…situation, can only go away if men were to believe you were taken, correct?”
“Yes, I suppose, only I can’t fool them into thinking that. It would become quite suspicious when I’m seen alone everywhere. And, there’s no way I could ever fool my parents.”
“Except you wouldn’t be alone, you’d have me!”
“I don’t believe I’m following your idea, George.”
“Marry me.”
You choked and sputtered on your own spit, unable to take a breath through your coughs and gasps. George’s hands flew to your shoulders to steady you, helping you to breathe easier and calm yourself down.
“George, you must be joking,” you said quietly.
“I am as deadly serious as I could ever be. Not a real marriage, of course. Real in every sense of the word in terms of legality, but not real as in, well, us together. I’ll spend this social season courting you, and at the end of the season I’ll propose. We’ll get married in a few months’ time, and then we can travel the world, doing whatever our hearts desire.”
“Why on earth would you want to marry me?”
“It’s quite simple. You need to get the eligible bachelors of the ton to leave you alone and you never want to marry because your husband would restrict your freedoms. I, as your husband, wouldn’t dare. You’re not entirely awful, I suppose there are far worse people to spend my life with, even if you utterly despise me, and marriage, real marriage, isn’t something I want either.”
You looked at him quizzically, searching for signs that he’d had far too much champagne or had gone completely mad in the head, but he looked right as rain, and your mind was spinning.
“I find it hard to believe you do not want to marry, after all the times you’ve said you cannot wait to marry the woman you love.”
“Honestly, the woman I love is….unattainable, I’ll put it that way. I won’t ever love anyone but her. I’m also waiting for an answer, it’s not every day you have to have a discussion after a proposal.”
“You’re sure this will work, Mr. Weasley?”
“How hard can it be to pretend to be in love with a woman as beautiful as you?”
“I always knew you were a flirt, but God, do you lay it on thick.”
George looked at you expectantly, almost a glimmer of hope is his eye, but as quickly as you thought you’d noticed it, he looked away.
“My answer is yes, George. Let’s fool the ton, our families, court, get married, and then travel the world platonically.”
“That sounds like the perfect arrangement, darling.”
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caesthetix · 3 years
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SAY A LITTLE PRAYER — Pt. 2 Devoted Worshipper
↪Eren Yeager mini-series
↪content; major character death, canon universe, heavy angst, established relationship, spoiler for season 4
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You hummed softly as your feet dragged you towards the Commander's office. The hallway was quiet, yellow hue from the candles illuminated your pathway. Some of the rooms were occupied, you knew from the laughter that could be heard here and there. Soldiers cheering and sharing drinks without any weight on their shoulders.
And it made you feel a little bit melancholic as you thought about it.
When you dragged your friends to lounge around together, you wanted to feel the same warmth and comfort that was usually there when everyone huddled together. Even though you knew that it would never be the same anymore with one of you being taken on the battlefield, you still hoped that they would have each other to rely on.
Yet the atmosphere was tense. Sometimes overlapping the sorrow that coated their hearts. Maybe that was the coping mechanism, to forget about the pain, they all used anger, trying to point their finger to where it all went wrong, searching for the root of this havoc.
You knew that Sasha's death hit Connie harder than anyone. Yes, everyone had their individual bonds with the gluttonous woman, but there was something that differentiated his relationship with her. There were only two kinds of bonds that could emit such emotional turmoil; twins, and romantic love.
And they were like family, no, twins — and to lose a part of your soul would make anyone else gone mad.
Letting out a sigh, you tried to focus on your breathing. The door that led to Hange's office was within your eyesight already, you had your own job right now, your own mission. And that was to meet with your lover who, right now, people wouldn't dare to spend some time alone with him.
You remembered the day it all changed, where the most expressive person you ever knew suddenly closed his heart from the world. It was just a simple touch, lips grazing the back of her hand, and suddenly, the look on his face that day was the last fiery emotion which you ever saw coming from him.
He was distant, no, detached. It was as if he had his own world, as if he knew something that no one else could ever understand. You tried to ask him, to share whatever inside his mind, to share his burden. But every time you asked, he would just stare at you, with emerald eyes filled with one emotion that you could never understand.
It was not love, not some affection. There was no sadness indeed, no tears glistening in those beautiful orbs. He just looked at you with something that you could not fathom. Though, amidst all the cold shoulder that you got from him, you were still standing right by his side.
Like a devoted worshipper, following him to anywhere he goes, without even questioning where and why.
You were Eren's shield, some even said more faithful than Mikasa herself. There was no doubt in your eyes, whatever happened, no matter how many innocent souls were now in his hands, there wasn't a single time you ever asked the universe why he did all of that. Not even for a second, you didn't need a reason to believe him.
Everyone always questioned your feelings for said titan shifter since the beginning, when all of you were just wannabe soldiers in the training corps. There was no way you saw him as only a friend with how you always had this smile on your face when his name was mentioned.
Then one day when they saw his lips lingering on your forehead before they were all dispersed to defend Trost, they knew you would bind yourself to that man.
And they were right.
It was no secret already that you might be the most neutral in between all of them, but they knew who had you crawling to at the end of the day. Eren Yeager, no one else but him. He was your ultimate reason, the love of your life, the man who owned all of your heart; you didn't leave anything for yourself.
But you didn't even care about that, knowing your heart was placed on the right man.
"(Y/n)?"
You jolted when you saw the door opened, gaze trailed up to find your Commander staring at you with questioned eyes. Lost in your thoughts, you did not realise that you had been standing in front of Hange's office for perhaps a few minutes now.
"Commander Hange!" A perfect salute coming from you, making them chuckle at how enthusiastic you acted even in this darkest hour. You could see the bag under their eyes, brown locks dishevelled as some of the strands were all over the place. This fact alone made you frown. "You should get some rest, Hange."
Your voice changed completely, there was no smile etched on your face, and they knew how serious you were as you blurted out the words. "I mean it, as a friend."
They bit their lips, eyes closing shut as they tried to control the storm in their head. After a few seconds, they moved away slightly from the door to give you space, hands retracted to the side as they told you to come in, stopping whatever they were supposed to do right now.
Your lips curled into a small smile as you knew that Hange would take your advice. Even though it was just temporary, perhaps a little rest was better than nothing at all.
Nodding your head, you walked inside the office and stopped not too far from the door. Waiting for their instruction to where to sit, your gaze fleeting around the space that was more modern than their old office in the previous Headquarters.
It used to be so dim, only one light illuminating the whole room. You remembered how many times you stumbled over the items that were cluttering around the lab that they forgot to pick up. Now the lights were clearer, positioned on each side of the wall, resulting in all the corners shining with the yellow hue.
Of course, there was a massive bookshelf near the desk, not even one book was missing, everything was filled as you took it as a sign that the commander had been working on papers nonstop, not once loosening up to enjoy the victory over the attack on Marley.
"You could sit on the couch, or the chair, it's up to you, really."
Hange's voice sounded calmer now as they closed the door and walked back behind their desk before they plopped themselves on the big cushioned chair. You followed the gesture and sat across from them, deciding that it was better to be eye to eye if you were going to talk with them later on.
Their fingers running down their messy strands before pulling the hair tie to free it from the upcoming headache that already threatened to come. "Damn it, I am so tired."
That made you chuckle.
"I understand, Hange. And it's alright to feel tired, you are human after all." Not a normal human like the rest of the world, but the needs and stamina were still the same, whether you were an Eldian or people outside Paradis. The brunette smiled a little at your words and stood up to prepare a drink, grabbing two porcelain cups as they poured two teaspoons of dark powder on each cup.
"I take it you are okay with coffee, am I wrong?" They smirked a little as they turned to see you with a smile beamed on your face. "Awh, you are welcome, my dear~"
"Oh, Hange, you know how much I love that drink."
It didn't take long for them to prepare the drink. They had this big bottle that could hold hot water to stay boiled after a few hours. God, you thanked Niccolo for introducing that item to all of you. Speaking of the blonde man, you frowned a little as you wondered if he received the news about Sasha's death.
You wanted to go and deliver the information itself, but you knew with your condition right now that everyone would want you to rest until you get better. Connie, Niccolo, Sasha's family, you couldn't imagine the pain that they felt to lose someone that you loved so much with all of your heart.
And you couldn't help but think how much it would hurt if Eren was gone from this world.
"Here you go, (Y/n)," Hange spoke softly as they pushed the coffee cup in your line of vision. "Careful, it's still hot." They came at the right time, you didn't even realise the sweat on your forehead started to form due to the panic inside your head. You really did not want to think about that, it was too much.
You retrieved the coffee gently before settling it on your lap, palms feeling the warmth from the hot liquid as you rest one of your hands at the side of the cup. The air was cold, and for you, the porcelain worked wonders to make it to be touchable enough.
The two of you were engulfed by comfortable silence. Your nose crinkled softly when the scent of the coffee lingered in the room. Ah, coffee, that magical drink from Marley. You cursed a little at your ancestor when you first tasted the new beverage, saying how it's not fair that it took you a dozen years to know such a thing.
"You can drink it anytime you want now."
Eren smiled softly at your reaction and whispered that to you after a few seconds of watching your reaction. You didn't know what was inside his mind at that time, but his words were enough to make your heart flutter.
It was rare for him to show any interest or excitement, so you cherished all the fragments of his old self and carved it deep inside your mind. You loved the smell of coffee, because it reminded you of the world outside the wall, and it reminded you of a promise that once made.
Eren would lead you to your freedom, not with you as a follower, but with you to walk alongside him as he retrieved the rights that were taken away from all humans in Paradis.
Yes, Eren, the reminiscent was enough to snap you back. You were here for a reason, and that was to meet him, to spend time with him. No. You were there to dig some information from your lover's mind. It was for the sake of your friends, to make them feel better and feel more at peace rather than just standing in the dark.
After all, you didn't need to know his reason. You were satisfied enough to fight and walk alongside him.
Right?
"Now, what is it that you wanted to ask me?"
You jolted when you heard Hange throw the question as if you were just having a conversation about the weather, making the cup in front of your lips falter a little as you looked at them with shock. Catching you off guard like that was amusing to them. "What? You don't think I couldn't read you like an open book?"
Hange was harmless, at least to you. They said that not because they wanted to intimidate you, but more into wanting to prove to themselves how much they knew you. Everything was shown in their face, from the glint in their eyes to a snicker that slipped from their lips.
You let out a sigh before slipping down the cup of coffee back to your lap. They waited, understanding that you were slightly embarrassed with how much they could read you. Maybe you forgot, but they were the ones who asked Erwin to make you a part of their squad.
There was no one else that could tolerate Eren Yeager without him tolerating them enough. Eren actually listened to you, thoughtful of your decision and thinking about all of your scolds. Eren didn't listen to anyone, not even the Commander sometimes. If he didn't want to listen then he wouldn't.
But you were the only creature that, whatever you said, he would always take consideration of.
Starting from that benefit, Hange was now attached to you. They adored your strong will, how you would put your life over anyone (especially Eren) but yet still had a clear mind over it. You were fast, not as powerful as Mikasa, but you could think straight and strategize.
And they were hooked, they were proud to be the superior who knew you. Not even the Commander could understand the way you were thinking sometimes, but it was his loss anyway. Since he saw you as an asset for Eren instead of seeing you as a sole soldier who stood for herself.
"I need to speak with Eren." You were not done yet. "Alone."
The room was silent once again as they mulled over your words. They were sure it was not a request, but more as a demand. They chuckled internally to see you like this, intimidating, trying to get to your goal with a simple command.
"And what makes you think that I would let you?" They didn't want to prolong this, but they needed to know further why you wanted to see him. Truthfully, Hange was going to go to check on Eren before. But you came and told them to rest, funny how now you were the one who asked to talk to him.
They were afraid for you, that man was not the same as he was a few years ago. Everything changed after they reclaimed Shiganshina. And to let you talk with him without no one else guarding you, that tasted like a recipe for disaster.
"You would let me." Ha, cocky as ever when the time needed. "You know I could take down a lot of men and titan single-handedly, you know Eren would never lay a finger on me with the purpose to hurt me." Your voice was loud and clear, completely turning you into a soldier. "There is no downside to it. And if you think I would let him escape, you should know that I could do it anytime I want."
You had a point, that was what they knew. There was no malicious intent on your voice, just a need to talk to an old friend, to your lover. Even if you were sitting there in front of them with a serious facade, desperation was shown inside your eyes with how much you longed to have some alone time with the man.
They put down the cup of coffee on their table, sighing as they thought about what was the right thing. It was their call after all. You were someone who would do anything for Eren, but at the same time, you were a soldier, a good one that always followed the rules.
But to what extent would you stay to be a good soldier? If one day a condition caused the Survey Corps to be on the opposite side from Eren, where would you stand?
No, you were loyal — to either the Survey Corps or Eren. At least right now it was like that, and they just had to believe you in this.
"Alright." Your lips twitched at their answer, you must be so excited, and that made them softened a little. "You can just take down this soldier's side of yours, (Y/n). Just be a friend now, I hear your request loud and clear."
You nodded a little, still having your stoic, serious expression on your face. It wouldn't be long though, they were sure of that. One, two, three—
"Oh, Hange!" You wailed, setting the cup on the wooden table before you stood up and walked behind the desk, wanting to embrace them. "You don't know how much I miss him, I wanted to tackle him and just wrap my hands around him in the airship before."
The brunette chuckled when you finally fell to their chest, hugging them so tightly as you were clutching their uniform. "It's been months, Hange, thank you. Thank you so much."
"Oh, dear." They awkwardly patted your back, chuckling at your reaction. "I know, you are craving for him, I know." Everyone could see it, your love for Eren was something that couldn't be hidden from the world. Even Yelena and the others knew from one look at you.
You stayed there for a few seconds, calming yourself down from the enthusiasm that was bubbling up. You didn't want to scare off your lover with your sudden embrace or nonstop kisses. So you had to compose yourself by pouring some of the affection to someone that you trusted was enough.
"I mean it, thank you, Hange." You pulled away, though still had your hands on their arms as you squeezed it gently. The way you looked at them was so ethereal, comforting, and shone with what they believed as love. "Can I go now, then?"
"Yes, of course."
Hange gave you one last smile before pulling themselves away from you too. "I actually just pulled something that wouldn't be approved by Zackly. So, is half an hour enough for you?" They actually did not want to give you a time limit, but it would be bad if someone else found you in the cell with a criminal.
"Ah, of course." They let out a sigh of relief when they heard your answer. "I understand, Hange. As much as I love to spend time with Eren, I know that this meeting alone could jeopardize your position." Goodness, always so understanding, Eren sure is lucky.
"Alright, here." A dangling sound filled the room as they fetched the keys from their pocket. Your eyes widened at the sight of the silver metal, palms up as they dropped the key on your hands. "Make sure you didn't forget to lock—"
"Y-You'll let me go inside?" If you looked so delighted before, now you looked like you could burst as you tried to process the meaning behind the given keys.
One solid nod from the commander, and that's all it took for your tears to slip down your cheek.
You took a few steps back before giving them a salute, one that they answered back because of how much respect they had for you too. It had been years since they knew you, and it made them tear up a little with how much you had grown, yet still the same naive girl they saw that day in the training corps.
As you walked away to the door, they looked at you with fondness in their eyes. The brunette saw you as a close friend, like a sister they never had.
It was their call, they knew this was the best. For you to meet the love that you longed for, you deserved to feel such comfort in this hellish world. And to know that they could make you feel this happy, they felt like the best sibling in the world for giving such joy in your life.
Even when they heard a click from the door, a sign that you were on your way down the cell, their smiles never faltered. Shaking their head softly at the puppy love that showed as you bounced around with giddiness, they immersed themselves on the papers once again.
Little did they know that this decision would haunt them until they took their last breath.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈〄┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
"This is tiresome."
Hange yawned and stretched their limbs as they tossed down the last report that they had to finish. They really needed to take your advice and get more rest. Ah, you, now they just realised how much time had passed after the last time they saw you from before.
Their eyes fleeting to the clock on the wall, raising one of their eyebrows when they realised it was already forty-five minutes since you left.
I need to check on her, they thought. Even if they believed that you would not let anyone harm you in any way, they still needed to get you to rest. After all, you were still wounded, and they didn't want one of their best soldiers to tire herself more.
Stretching their limbs to the side, cracking their neck and hearing the pop here and there, now they were satisfied. Standing up to embark on their little journey, their eyes flickered to the empty cup of coffee that belonged to you. It was so clean, you even drank the harsh powder that lingered at the bottom.
You did really love coffee, they couldn't help but wanted to surprise you that they had a new type from Yelena tomorrow morning. Hange could imagine you screaming already and drinking a lot with them. A little piece of heaven indeed, talking with a friend without thinking of their burden, maybe it was enough for them right now.
Chuckling softly, the brunette locked the door to their office before strolling down the empty hallway, wanting to have a chat with you before closing the day.
It was late at night, the rest of the scouts were mostly asleep or drinking their hearts out, celebrating the first win of the Island of Paradis. Thinking about war made their shoulders slump, they were already tired and just wanted everything to end. But they just had to suck it up, holding onto the hope that it would end soon.
There was no one else in sight as they walked, the one who accompanied them was just the yellow flame and their own mind. Now they wondered what kind of talk that you had with your lover. Even if Eren was now just an emotionless human being, they thought that he would still be the same around you. Still as loving, even though more careful with the amount of affection that he gave.
Everyone who had eyes could see how devoted you were to the man, no matter how many times he was always preoccupied with himself, falling deep into his own spiraling mind, no more acknowledging your existence who was always by his side.
Armin and Jean would often call you up to join the rest of them to town or just to have fun. But you always stayed seated, resting your head on his shoulder as you try to give comfort to the man that you gave your heart to. Typical you, prioritizing his needs over your own.
The air changed all of a sudden as their feet finally reached the first rung that would lead them to the basement. It was so humid, and they really think you were such a saint by staying here for almost an hour without complaining.
Love really made people do something crazy, to the extent that their own comfort did not matter.
There was no sound of arguing that could be heard, which was good. It was so silent, and somehow they wanted to just turn back around. Inside their mind, they could see you curled up on the hard bed with Eren's arms draped around your figure.
Just by thinking of that, they couldn't hide the smile that emerged on their face at this point. What a youth, filled with love and comfort, something that not everyone could find inside a life of a soldier. Yet there you were, making the love that you had to be a reason to stay strong, to keep on living.
Hange made a decision, that if you were indeed safe and sound on your lover's embrace, then they would let you two be.
But when their feet stopped right in front of the cell, their light brown pupils dilated in horror.
The air was humid, suffocating, and their chest felt so constricted within these walls. They were not even inside, yet by just standing there right now, they couldn't help but want to puke.
Inside, they could see how Eren faced the mirror on the wall, his hands gripping tight to the silver sink that filled with water. There was nothing that could be emitted from his expression, not even a single emotion could be seen inside his emerald eyes that was always praised by you.
And as their gaze finally dared to look at the shadow in their peripheral vision, they could feel their heart stop.
In the back of the room, your body slumped on the dirty wall — idle, lifeless. Hange gasped, hands stumbled as they opened the cell and rushed to your side. Their fingers immediately went to your bruised neck to check on your pulse on instinct.
And nothing.
They found nothing.
Not even a beat.
"Eren, what did you do?" Their eyes never left your figure, gaze fleeting toward your orbs that were now empty. They choked, swallowing a huge lump before resting their ear on your torso, hoping that they could hear your heartbeat. But they were met with the same void. "Eren, what did you do?!"
Hange bit their lips, fetching the keys in your palm, they carefully hoisting your body as they managed to not cry, but they couldn't hold their sob as they realised they lost yet another good soldier, a good friend. If Eren could not give them an answer, they were the ones who were going to find it.
If only, God, if only they didn't let you meet up with Eren.
You would probably go back to your friends, easing their pain with your comforting words. You would wake up tomorrow morning and walk to their office, sharing a cup of coffee together before they gave you a briefing for what the scouts would do for the whole day.
But it was not possible, it was no longer possible. They should have known it.
No, they refused to give up now. Gritting their teeth, they still didn't want to believe that you were gone for real. They didn't care anymore if they were out of their mind, their free hand immediately closed and locked the cell harshly, needing to see the doctor, a paramedic that was around. Holding on to a hopeless dream that maybe you could be saved.
What could they say to your friends? That you died because of how they let you meet a deadly criminal, the same person that also had your heart on his palms? Hange was not sure that the man was the one who was responsible for your death, but there was no one else around.
And those bruises, red hue smearing your neck like a vice-grip.
They shook their head, not wanting to think about it for now as they tried to lift you up. They needed to get you upstairs, calling out the paramedic that was probably sleeping right now, needing them to save you.
When their feet made contact with the first stairs, they could hear a mutter from the cell which belonged to your lover. It was only a few words, and yet with how low his voice was, lingered with nothing but a glimpse of despair — it sent a shiver down their spine.
"I gave her freedom."
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collisiondiscourse · 3 years
Text
on the wonder duo (part 1)
(BNHA Analysis Post Ahead! This isn’t explicitly romantic, but it is an analysis of the relationship between the two most popular characters in BNHA--Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. Split into two posts because I realized that this was gonna be long as HELL)
yall ever think about the fact that the wonder duo is perfectly set up in so that bakugou and deku together are the better version of all might?
bc like. ive been thinking.
everyone knows the win to save and save to win parallel. How they are supposedly two halves of a whole perfect hero (which, previously, was defined as all might)
but ever since bakugou and deku started working as one—growing together to win AND save and continuously reminding each other that they shouldnt try to do things alone, ive realized that its BECAUSE theres two of them that they surpass all might. its not a case of deku and bakugou both being 50% of an ideal hero, but rather i think that they are 100% of what all might SHOULD HAVE BEEN from the very beginning.
as early as the AM v AFO battle in kamino, we see the effects of all mights flawed existence. the fact that he, the greatest and supposedly infallible symbol of peace, was destroyed—society had begun to collapse. there was suddenly no pillar to hold people together and the impacts were so severe that even in the latest chapters of mha it keeps on getting worse. the truth is, all mights biggest mistake was the burden he placed on his own shoulders
with bakugou and deku... its different.
its different for them because down to their attributions, they seem like two halves of a whole person.
i think that the wonder duo are going to surpass all might because of the fact that they work together.
@bakugoukatsuki-rising @svpercraigus @tybee​ @isaustraliaathing​
(batshit crazy and conspiratorial essay under the cut !)
1. Complementary Colors
I’d like to first preface literally everything I say by the fact that I am not an expert analyzer or literary major in any way. I am literally just some random fan on the internet who has wayyy too much time and looks wayyy too deep into things, but here we go!
A common thing we see when we talk about bakugou and deku is the way they are... sort of an inverse of one another.
Down to the design of their features and the way they move, Deku is the obviously softer of the two. There’s an intentional contrast between the two of them, in the way that Deku’s drawn with round shapes and curvy hair and the way Bakugou is literally all spikes and half-mast eyes and rough muscles. Bakugou’s movements too are languid and showy, with the way he leans when he walks and splays his legs and kicks open doors. Katsuki, in a casual sense, is loud and dramatic. 
Deku on the other hand s finicky. He jitters when he walks and he’s often fidgeting and mumbling. Comparatively, the aura he radiates is energetic and frenzied, even self-conscious to a point unlike Bakugou’s calm and confident movements.
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the point is, there’s a clear difference in how either of them are designed and what exactly they are supposed to represent. They utterly complement each other down to the way they behave and even their main colors (red-orange and blue-green) being literal complementary colors.
Now, moving to my more ungrounded points, this is quite a bit of a stretch so I’ll try as much as possible to make sense of these with hyperlinked sources because. yeah.
Down to their names, I think Deku and Bakugou both symbolize something deeper. I think that the way Hori expresses characters and what they’re meant to do is something that we have to pay close attention to when we talk about the Wonder Duo’s rise to success.
Izuku Midoriya (緑谷 出久), as some of us may know, does have an interesting meaning when broken up. According to a lovely fan translation of his name, ‘Izuku’--while not an actual name used commonly in real life--means to ‘Come out’ or ‘Long time’. ‘Midoriya’ on the other hand means (Midori) ‘Green’ and (ya) ‘valley’. The translator further pointed out that his first name ‘Izuku’ could be a reference to him being the first legendary hero to come out of the long-running All Might Era. (or, if you’ve been reading @/bakugoukatsuki-rising’s posts, the first significant anime protag in a long while to come out as queer, ppfft)
but that isn’t my focus right now.
We know that Hori LOVES telling stories with names, and more often than not in the BNHA universe, names alone tell us a lot of things about the characters. When referring to Izuku’s last name, Midoriya, it’s important I think to step back and realize that hey, maybe there’s something more to Green Valley than just the fact that his motif is all green.
After searching for a lil on the specifics of green valley, I’ve found out that across many cultures, the colour green and valleys in general tend to represent life. From dream analysts, to Christianity, and even old Taoist teachings, valleys are seen as areas of fertility and escape. They are seen as safe havens and often escapes for people to come to after running away from bad circumstances.
(Sound familiar?)
Deku, in essence represents life and peace. He represents being the “salvation” that the world in BNHA needed. To me, it sounds like Horikoshi is trying to say that he is the long-awaited hero in the sense. The one that people can feel will create a society that feels safe for everyone after years of All Might just saving people from themselves as a band-aid solution.
On the other hand, we have Katsuki Bakugou (爆豪 勝己), who’s name we commonly know means (Katsuki) Winner and (Bakugou) Explosion Master. He is essentially, the champion. The power. His name means success and power and all the things that make up winning.
When putting them side by side, it then becomes increasingly... interesting to me how their names almost perfectly slot into All Might’s save to win and win to save mantra, and how they are both quintessential parts to what made All Might as a hero.
2. Hero Too!
Now, I’m not even gonna really TOUCH much of what happens in canon. If you want me to do a step by step breakdown of their arcs in regards to the plot of manga and anime, feel free to send me a gratuitous ko-fi tip so I can pay for the headache I get after trying to organize my thoughts into word vomit.
What I WILL talk about on the other hand, is the subtle shift both of them slowly have in regards to how they look. Bakugou and Deku, while growing up, seem to have MANY many parallels--but before I elaborate on all of that, I wanna talk about something else.
Detour: Deku’s Red Shoes 
We all know the iconic symbol being Deku’s red shoes. For all his life, save for some outfits like his hero one, we see Deku more often than not wearing his signature red sneakers which have become a running joke in fandom.
But the funny thing is, in Japan, red shoes seem to have an interesting connotation.
In 1922, a popular Japanese nursery rhyme was written, called “Red Shoes”. The interesting part to me about this song was the symbolism that, in my tiny pea-sized brain, I could connect to the story of BNHA.
The story goes that there was a little girl with red shoes named ‘Kimi’. She was from Shizuoka prefecture (which, if you didn’t know, is most likely where Musutafu supposedly is) and was raised by a single mother. When she was young, her mother had to entrust her with a foreigner under the impression that they would give her a better life in America. The stranger is a man named Charles Hewitt (who was described to have blue eyes) and supposedly took her away. 
The singer of the song (supposedly the mother, but some argue it was written from the perspective of a childhood friend) believes that Kimi is happy and living a better life away from them, when the reality of the situation was much worse. The young girl with red shoes in actuality had Tuberculosis, and thus the foreigner whom she was entrusted to had left her to fend for herself and eventually left her to go to America while she died alone and orphaned.
“When I see red shoes, I think of her.”
A very interesting story with very interesting implications indeed.
-
Anyway, moving on to the more... “nuanced” and connected parts of this section, I have every reason to believe that Bakugou and Deku were simply MEANT to be working together down to how they dress. Now, I’d like to discuss their hero costumes.
At the start of their series, using these godawful pics for reference, it’s clear to see that neither of them seem alike in any way--reflecting the dissonance in their relationship at that point in canon.
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ough. deku why. (yes we know why its because you love your mom you stupid little bunny <3)
Anyway, we see an immediate gap in how the two of them are. Deku’s first costume is one that reflects how he treated his dream of being a hero. He was still in that childlike idolization phase, the one where his dreams and aspirations were hinged on pure feelings and inspiration from All Might. Katsuki on the other hand was a lot more tactical--professional to an extent. The gap between their respective development with their quirks is something that is clearly felt in every fashion decision they’d made.
(Notice how Deku’s green is a lot brighter and less like the green accents Katsuki has all over his costume.)
As time progressed however... their costumes changed. The colors, the silhouettes, the practical functions, most things.
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(Deku’s Gamma Costume and Bakugou’s Winter Costume used respectively)
we begin to notice a few similarities.
As the show goes on and we see more evolutions of their costumes, it almost seems like they begin to look like a matching pair. Deku’s green grows darker and almost teal in nature, while Bakugou’s orange is veering towards red territory. This is important to note because red-orange and blue-green as I said earlier were complementary colors as compared to simply orange and green. The minute shift is something I really wasn’t quite sure was intentional, but something I find interesting to pick up nonetheless as the colors they used to accent their costumes begin to match up.
Secondly, I think and important thing to note is silhouettes. The way that both Bakugou and Deku’s costumes are designed follow a lot of parallels that typically we don’t see with the rest of 1-A. For one, they both have a combination of tight long-sleeved tops with a bulkier set of bottoms. They also share the use of utility belts and metal pieces typically worn around their necks. Deku has his bunny-eared hood that mimics All Might’s hair, while Bakugou has his orange and black explosion ear-pieces that mimic his own quirk.
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i don’t think any other people in class 1-A match each other as subtly yet strongly as these two. Uraraka and Deku and Bakugou and Kirishima do come close however.
“But Codi, you fucking knob!” I hear you plea. “This is such a reach and tells us practically NOTHING!” And yes, I’m inclined to agree with you! You’d be sort of right in the idea that this is a reach. Maybe I am looking too much into this, and maybe it really isn’t that deep--but I do think that them subconsciously matching outfits means something quite brilliant.
In the way that their costumes are designed, each aspect of either outfits have a very logical explanation. The changes were strategic and made with their fighting styles vividly in mind, so what that tells me is that BECAUSE these costumes are so complementary or similar in nature (Bakugou’s reinforcing his arms while Deku reinforces his legs), these two are implicitly showing the audience that their combat styles are complementary as well. 
The evolution of their design choices and similarities tell us that even unknowingly, their minds line up in strategy on the battlefield--a clear exhibit for why they would be INCREDIBLY POWERFUL as a Hero Duo to begin with.
When I look at their hero costumes side by side, I see a mirror. I see the way that these two are reflections of each other and are strong where the other isn’t. The point I see in BNHA repeatedly is that EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS. Nothing is infallible, regardless of how hard you train or how powerful your quirk is. Everyone will always have a weakness, but the significant difference I see when fandom discusses the future of Pro-Hero Society is that the new generation is finally raising itself to be RELIANT on each other. 
Observing their fighting styles and the simple use of their quirks, its obvious that they are indeed two parts of a whole hero. Bakugou, who’s quirk emphasized his arms and hands and the power that comes from it, while Deku who’s quirk now emphasizes his legs and lower body and the way he’s always running to save people.
IN CONCLUSION:
As they become heroes, it is easy to assume that if nothing else, Bakugou and Deku will cover each other’s weak spots (especially when you consider the way Deku probably won’t be able to keep using his arms with the way both the anime and manga are going...) (also chapter 285, anyone?)
-
Part Two: Interactions, OfA
kofi || commission details
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kakashisdarling · 3 years
Text
Breaking point - Kakashi Hatake
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Kakashi x reader (slightly angsty)
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She leaned towards him and gently kissed him. Kakashi pressed his eyelids harshly, he couldnt’t help it but to long for someone else’s lips.
He messed up. Big time. He never felt so lonely and even though he had lost a lot of people, this time it felt different. His eyebrows pinned together as the memories flushed his senses.
“Kakashi, I want something steadier” the kunoichi mumbled softly.
Long had he feared that moment, silence covered the room. It was a rainy morning but his feelings were cloudier than the sky.
“We’ve been together for a while and I-I… I just want to hold your hand inside and outside these four walls, what I mean is-” Kakashi raised his hand, gesturing her to stop.
“I can’t. I never lied to you Y/n, I told you I wasn’t ready” he spitted bitterly as her kind eyes turned sorrowful.
“I’m sorry if I crossed the line, Kakashi” she paused for a moment, carefully choosing her words. “For the sake of my feelings, I think we should stop seeing each other” she spoke softly with a forced smile as she gathered her clothes from the mess on the floor.
He thought it was going to be fine. He thought there was no difference between spending his nights alone or with her. Kakashi wasn’t ready to reach a compromise, the shadows of his past still chased him. He could manage alone, he thought, he always had.
That was the last time he saw her in an intimate manner.
At the beginning it wasn’t so bad, Kakashi had his head all over the place with team 7 and Y/n was avoiding him at all costs. But as weeks and months went by, he couldn’t help it but to feel remorseful. He even started dreaming about her, not only did he long for her body but for the late night chats and the way she danced while cooking breakfast. He missed dearly finding comfort in her arms after a long mission. He missed every second spent by her side. Maybe she was the one who could mend his scars, maybe she was the right one.
Kakashi was beyond wrecked when he heard the rumors. It looked like she had started dating a civilian. And even though he wasn’t the jealous type, he opened his ears every time someone mentioned that man. His name was Yako, he was new in town and he had a young daughter. Kakashi knew Y/n liked children, she once confessed that she considered becoming a teacher at the academy. He felt insecure like never before, which felt so unlike him.
And now there he was, kissing another woman. She asked him out and he said yes thinking it could help him get over his comrade. But it didn’t. He spent the whole evening comparing her to the kunoichi and he felt so annoyed.
“See you around?” the woman asked with a fruity voice.
“Sure,” he waved and tried to smile as his date made her way home.
He figured it was best to take a walk rather than going back to his apartment and his choking emotions. Kakashi really enjoyed taking late walks, it helped him clear his head, it made his feelings and his thoughts feel lighter.
“Daddy, can we get some ramen?” he heard a little voice shouting.
He turned his head to see a tiny girl running to a tall man from the training grounds.
“Your training with Y/n really tires you, doesn’t it?” the brunette man chuckled as he ducked himself to hug the child.
Kakashi felt his blood boiling. That must be Yako, Y/n new boyfriend. They had reached the point of their relationship where she even took care of his daughter’s training.
“She gave her all today, I think she deserves that ramen.” Kakashi froze when he heard a familiar sweet voice.
“All right, Ichiraku it is then. Would you like to come with us, Y/n?”
A nip of jealousy formed in Kakashi’s stomach, guiding him to act in an impulsive way. Part of him wanted to resist the impulse to barge in their conversation but the other part was itching to do something about it.  Either he tried reaching for her again or started forgetting her already, that moment was the breaking point. And before the young kunoichi could reply, Kakashi headed straight to the group.
“Kakashi-senpai,” her voice sounded surprised, her posture stiffened instantly.
“Oh! You must be Kakashi of the Sharingan, it’s such an honor to meet you!” the man cheered while stretching his hand in Kakashi’s direction.
“This is Yako and his daughter Nuura, they own the new bookstore.”
Kakashi gritted his teeth under his mask and nodded politely as he shook the man’s hand. So indeed, he was her boyfriend.
“It’s pretty late, what are you doing here?”
“Nuura is taking the Academy exam next month and Y/n very kindly offered to give her a hand.”
“She is always very kind,” he said more to himself than to the man. Y/n opened her mouth, her confused eyes searching his.
“Well, we were planning to get some ramen, would you like to join us Kakashi-san?”
“In fact,” Y/n interrupted as she composed herself. “I’m meeting my genin team early in the morning, so I should head home.”
“I’ll walk you home, I have some -uh- ninja stuff to discuss,” Kakashi blurted faster than he would’ve liked to. Y/n raised her eyebrow and nodded slowly.
Kakashi expected Yako to say something, he was her boyfriend at the end of the day. Was he simply going to let her walk home with another man?
“Good night, then. See you tomorrow, Y/n.” Yako smiled widely as he took his daughter’s hand and started walking away.
“What was that Kakashi? Why are you even here?” she inquired, a slight hue of annoyance in her voice.
Kakashi didn’t know what to say, why was he there?
“Are you dating him?” he tried to keep an emotionless voice.
“Who? Yako?” Y/n pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated. “What if I am? It’s none of your business!”
Before he could process his own actions, Kakashi leaned forward and smashed his lips with hers. Y/n wanted to fight the kiss but after a couple seconds she gave in, the kiss felt so consuming. It melted her walls. She had longed for him all those months they spent apart, there was no way of keeping those feelings hidden.
“I’m sorry,” Kakashi mumbled as he pressed his forehead against hers. “I don’t mean to interfere in your relationship but I thought- ”
“Yako and I aren’t together, I’m just helping Nuura. There’s nothing more,” she clarified unsure as to why she did, there was no future between them and she didn’t owe him any explanations.
“That’s… good.” Y/n pinned her eyebrows together, he was a big riddle she couldn’t solve. “I was wrong to think I could simply push you away.” Kakashi sighed heavily, “My past is full of regrets and I always thought I was meant to suffer on my own, but somehow you helped me withstand the uncertainty. You were there for me, you comforted me without judgements. I hope it’s not too late to say this, but I want to be with you. I want to walk by your side and to kiss you goodbye when you leave for a mission. I want to be there for you like you were for me. I w-” his words got lost in his throat as Y/n placed her hands on the corners of his face and pressed a gentle kiss on his warm lips.
“Took you long enough,” she teased, smiling against his lips.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, you just needed time to grasp your feelings.”
Kakashi felt his chest lighter. All his life he had been carrying some heavy baggage and now he found someone who would share the weight with him. He realized he never felt so happy, nor his head had ever been this clear. He knew his life was about to get a little brighter at her side.
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Hey guys! So this was my first time writing angst, bear with me. I also wanted to try a different perspective since I usually use first person. So I hope it’s good enough and more importantly that you liked it.
Also this is the last fic of the 100 celebration, I hope you enjoyed the daily fics. Without further ado, thanks for all your support and thanks for reading! <3
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deviltoys · 3 years
Text
IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!
hey, kevin here, i apologize that somethin' of this matter is being posted so late like this and so sudden. i won't be typing as i usually do as the accusations here are a serious matter and there won't be a need for my usual, light-hearted typing style.
it has come to my attention, though this information has been kept private for maybe a month, two? but has only just recently been brought to my attention by a good friend of mine. the claims were sent to him over instagram by my ex; kai or huhrizon. the photo will be attached below in which, kai, is laughing about the fact he believes he's found out that i am a minor. more specifically, fifteen. which couldn't be farther from the truth, this thread will be debunking and defending myself before he can come out and express these fabricated lies to try and ruin my reputation because he's upset that i wasn't ready for a relationship.
kai messaging mattia over the fact he believes he has uncovered 'my mother's facebook profile'. which will be debunked below.
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very interesting that you decided to not only, try to uncover things about my identity after i politely explained to you that i no longer wanted to pursue a relationship, but that you're brewing up fake rumours just to try to get back at me for it.
onto the main claim. kai has been professing, that i, am infact a fifteen year old falsifying his age online. the reason he believes these claims are that, one, he found my mother's facebook profile. and two, that there was a photo on there of me, with the caption 'happy birthday kevin' posted onto the account. mattia has explained to me that this photo isn't here to be displayed as evidence, solely because kai sent the picture through instagram's vanish mode.
* this mode automatically deletes anything sent after the chat is closed.
mattia informed me that this photo was overall suspicious though as kai had blurred out the user's facebook handle. very odd indeed kai, very odd. i have no clue what this women looked like as there were no further photos, so until then, i don't know how i can debunk the woman not being my mother; appearance wise.
what reason do i have to believe this is motivated out of spite? before kai and i had become acquainted, i followed him through dylan, who had publicity posted about how his friend had created a dark blog. wanting to follow more creators who shared a similar interest, i followed him. immediately, kai had started sending asks about whether or not i was single. we had not talked nor even messages before, we had liked a few of each others posts and that was the max of our interactions. but i responded with a flirty remark, which i am now known for, but wasn't at the time. flirting was thrown back and fourth and after awhile i had realized i was no longer ready, mentally or emotionally for a relationship at that point in time. i still had full feelings for kai, yet kindly expressed my discomfort with a relationship. which he mutually accepted and that was that. i thought we were ended things on great terms, we both communicated and got our messages out of the way.
apparently this was not the case, as kai, without my knowledge goes to search for any sort of dirt he can find on me. which, i will be using a post by dylan to explain why i have reason to be swayed into the fact this was out of anger— i love dylan, and he's not included in these accusations whatsoever, but this post is important to view. do not drag him into this, please. i'm serious.
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dylan admits to kai being able to ruin people's lives for fun. which is obviously, not a good look for him. he purposefully goes on the hunt for any information he can attach to someone. unluckily for him, he couldn't find anything worth exposing, so he restorts to making up lies about my age in an attempt to get some sort of revenge? as punishment for breaking his heart i presume. very, very mature after a breakup which i calmly and kindly let you know that i wasn't ready for anything further.
now, onto the rebuttal i have for his big accusation; me being a fifteen year old who's mother's social, kai sniffed up. my mother does not own any form of social media, she has an email which is technically not even a social app. ( this is used for her grad teachers, in order to contact her for reasons that will be explained ).
my mother hasn't had any social app for years, much less posts or takes photos of us to display whatsoever. my mother entered a relationship with a man, who at the time she didn't know was very, very anti-lgbtq.
* before anything else it's important to note that kai, believes i have a brother. i told him this in order to stray away any true information about me, as there are very few people i fully trust with the knowledge of my personal life. much less, someone who i just met at the time; i.e kai. kai had mentioned a friend of either his or his brothers being named 'hank' to try to also fit the lie of having a brother, i told him it was a funny coincidence that my brother had the same name. i do not have a brother, my sister and i are both trans— she being mtf, and i being ftm. she has given me explicit permission to disclose this, as i wouldn't ever dream of letting that information out without her word.
this leads into my main argument. my mother had been with this man for quite awhile, and had finally asked us for permission to give him the news, that we were both transgender and that he should know for the future of our family. he obviously, did not take this well. to keep details minimal for the safety of my family, i'll briefly explain some of the shit he's done to my mother. stalk, threaten, send unsolicited photos and dead animals to our home, try to get my mother to meet up - or find her location to meet up with her, and many, many more vile things. my family has been hiding, moving, and changing our identities ever since. my mother has wanted a healthy, safe environment for her children to grow up in without fear that their lives would be taken or in some way ruined by this man. we can't keep a house for more than a year before we're forced to go into hiding because of a message from him or some sick prank from somebody who knows about the situation. this is all i can say, as i don't want him to somehow get ahold of this post. which is also why i am withholding my families legal names as well as her ex's legal name just to be cautious. though it is never ever justified to lie to your partner, kai and i had barely talked and i felt pressured by the environment and excitement to rush headfirst into a relationship. causing me to hold back any truth to my personal life, excluding interests, stories, and stuff of that sort. which deserves an apology all on it's own.
now, where this fifteen, number came from. not a clue in hell, my sister, is sixteen but was fifteen at the time i was in a relationship with kai. i have no clue if this has anything to do with it, but he knew, as i told him i was celebrating her birthday through text. letting him know, the age she was and the age she was turning.
i live off the grid and always have. my legal name is not on here, my family or friends names, etc. my personality, all me, the stories or hobbies i have? true. my job? true. i express the true me on here while still holding back information that could cause my family into another year of hiding. my mother never has and never will have any socials. she barely uses her email out of fear, but has no choice as it's her only means of communication to her job.
another quick thing i would like to mention, to be truthful, as this is a post solely based on trust alone. as i have no physical evidence to back it up. i sent a photo to kai, letting him know it was taken when i was in middle school. i told him my mother put a filter over it, which is weird right? i just explained how my mother doesn't have socials, he's got to be lying, right? no, my teacher had taken the photo and she had edited on her photo to show our grandma, who she sent the image through phone messages. this was no lie, but it was a misdirection to try to get kai to believe my mother posted about me. i still didn't trust him and never fully did, so this was another. morally wrong, attempt to cover my true identity by lying to him about it. which, again, never right to lie to your partner. but i have a family to protect, it's hard to make friends and relationships online when you have to hide who you truly are your whole life. and i'm sorry that's been the case, though the information my mutuals privately know is all the truth. i've grown to trust a fair few, so thank you.
as a summary, these claims are total bullshit. i can provide more context or answers to any questions you may have, below, through dms, or through my inbox. this was once again posted before he could get his word out, as i wanted to make sure everyone knew what i had to say, in case he decided to 'expose' me while i was at work, or too busy to compile a rebuttal. thank you all for listening, you don't have to believe a word of this. as yes, my story does sound far-fetched but i have no way that i can verify it without putting my family in danger. which, i'd much rather lose my online status over a silly rumour than harm my family for another multitude of years. this is a rather short and rushed post though, as it's been bugging me for awhile and i just need to push it out.
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chiechie97 · 3 years
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hi!! could I request a jealous james fic? Idk why its one of my fav tropes!! Literally obsessed with your writing and can't wait to see where you take this :))
Ask and you shall RECEIVE Anon, find this on A03 too 😍
Chapter: Jealousy Looks Good on You
“I heard a funny rumour.” A deep voice said, breaking her concentration from the paperwork she was sorting.
“Oh did you now?” Lily asked, leaning back in her desk chair to look at the owner of said voice.
James had clearly just come from the training room, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, and his usual Auror robes replaced with workout gear that displayed his toned physique far too nicely.
“Yeah, Fenwick said he was taking you out for drinks tonight.”
“And that’s a rumour is it?” Lily asked, her brow cocked in question.
“Of course, you wouldn’t go out with Fenwick.” James insisted, leaning against her desk, arms crossed angrily over his chest.
“And who says I wouldn’t go out with Benjy?”
“Anyone who knows you!” He countered, shooting her an exasperated look.
Lily just shook her head, turning back to the confiscation reports she had to finish before she did indeed go out for drinks with Benjy Fenwick.
“James, I have to finish these reports, would you mind if we had this conversation after you showered? You kind of stink.”
He ignored her, pulling up a chair so he was sat right beside her.
“Are you really going out with Fenwick tonight?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Why?”
Lily nearly coughed out a laugh at that one. Why? Well, that was a simple question with a rather complicated answer.
But instead, she just shrugged, “He’s cute, he asked, I said yes.”
“Seems like a bullshit reason Evans.”
Lily did laugh this time, “how on earth is that a bullshit reason Potter?”
He shrugged, “cause he’s not your type.”
“And who is my type?”
Potter just shrugged again, though his expression was now tightly guarded, “Not Fenwick, I know that much.”
Lily couldn’t help the eye roll, discussing her dating life with James was just creating a knot in the pit of her stomach. And his little performance was just making her feel even worse.
“I don’t want to have this conversation with you” Lily huffed, dotting an i on her paper a bit too aggressively. “Now go shower, you really do smell.”
“We’re not done this conversation.” James insisted, though he stood up from his spot beside her.
Waiting until he had moved off to the auror locker rooms, Lily angrily kicked the bin underneath her desk.
Why was he so fucking confusing?
Their entire Hogwarts career James had chased after her. And Lily, who was so wrapped up in her school work and aspirations had only ever seen him as an annoying nuisance. But then they were co-heads, and he matured so much. He was no longer pulling pranks (that she could prove), he cared about becoming an Auror, about making a difference.
By the time graduation rolled around she suddenly found herself unable to tear her gaze away from his jawline, or the way his smirk seemed to crinkle his hazel eyes.
But by the time Lily had come to her senses, James had moved on, and she was just getting started.
He’d started dating Tabitha Cornwall when they began Auror training, and every smile, kiss, hand hold, between the two had been like a punch to the gut.
Even still, Lily remained friends with James, she wasn’t about to stop being friends with a bloke because he didn’t like her back. Though she was able to find excuses to not attend any function Tabitha would also be at.
Lily had the fact able to specialize early to thank for her ability to get out of events. Her genius in potion making meant she got to move away from the other trainee’s and into the magical forensic department. Less time around James and Tabitha meant she didn’t find out they had broken up until a month after the fact.
She would be lying if she hadn’t felt a surge of hope, every wink he threw her way made her heart soar.
But after Tabitha came Marcy, then Georgia, then a beautiful blonde named Clara that made Lily feel like she could never compare.
But even Clara didn’t last, and a long string of girlfriends and dates made Lily believe she really didn’t have a chance anymore.
So she threw herself into her work. Spending hours in the potions lab, and even more hours sampling and collecting data. Liky was so sucked up in her work that it took Marlene pointing it out for her to realize it had been two years since she’d been on a date.
So when Benjy had asked her out for drinks at a fancy new muggle bar in Kensington yesterday afternoon she thought why not. He was cute, funny, dedicated to his work. He really was just her type.
Shaking thoughts of James from her head she went back to her reports. She was going to have fun tonight, and she wasn’t going to let his strange performance stop her from enjoying herself.
By the time 5 O’clock rolled around, she had nearly forgotten about James’s odd protest about her date with Benjy.
Fixing her makeup in the ladies' toilet, Lily nearly jumped when a loud knock sounded on the door.
“Who’s in there?” A male voice asked, muffled by the thick wood of the door.
“Err Lily Evans?” She called back,
“Anyone else?”
A quick glance around the room told her she was alone,
“No?”
The door opened and James stepped in, locking the door behind him.
“James what are you doing? This is the ladies' toilets!” Lily hissed, looking around again as if someone might catch him.
“Don’t go out with Fenwick tonight.” He said, ignoring her.
“Why not.” She asked, setting down the pan of blusher she’d been applying to the apples of her cheeks.
“Because it’s not a good idea.”
“Is Benjy secretly a Death Eater? Because if he is you might want to report that to someone else.”
“No, it’s not that.” James huffed, leaning against the door, arms crossed and brows knit together in a frustrated expression.
“Then what is it. Why shouldn't I go out with him tonight.” Lily implored, eyes searching his face, “Tell me right now. Why should I not go out with him?”
James shook his head, eyes fixed on the floor.
“James.” She said taking a step towards him, her voice softer than before, “Why should I not go?”
He still didn't look up, but he finally spoke. “I don’t want you to go.”
“What?” She asked, more in shock than wanting him to repeat himself.
“I said I don’t want you to go.”
She was now standing in front of him, he’d showered since they last spoke, the smell of his body wash was tickling her nose.
“Why don’t want me to go?”
This time he did lookup. “You know why.”
She barely had time to react when two strong hands cupped her face, bringing his mouth to hers.
Lily wasn’t one of those romantics who described first kisses like fireworks.
But it felt as if her whole body was filled with popping candy, her lips burning where his tongue traced. His hands dragged up her sides, pulling her tightly to his body before settling. One hand on her waist holding her snuggly against him, the other cupping the back of her head.
“Wait,” she gasped, breaking their kiss, “You were jealous!”
He rolled his eyes, “clearly Evans.”
She stood up on her tiptoes, eager to continue, but this time it was his turn to pull away.
“Are you still going out with Fenwick tonight?” He asked, hazel eyes searching her own with a pained expression.
“I think I’ll tell Benjy I need to take a raincheck.”
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