MC: If we’re in trouble, just throw Richy at the problem, and hope for the best.

*everything going crazy in the safe house* MC: What is going on?! Richy: You mean the wee-woo thingy? MC: THE FIRE ALARM!?

Darkness: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die. Jessy: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call. Richy: It’s called connotations. Dan: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty." MC: Great news! Language is now banned!

Richy: Who would you swipe right for? Thomas or Cleo? Jessy: I would delete the app.

Dan: Hey! Wanna hear a joke? Richy: Sure. Dan: Your life! Richy: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning. Dan: Richy, no.

Richy: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start! Richy: I’ve killed a person, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee. Cleo, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.

Thomas: Go fuck yourself. Dan, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch.

MC: Richy… I’m bleeding… Richy: Oh god… what’s your blood type?! MC: B positive… Richy: I’m trying to but you’re bleeding-

Hannah: You know, sometimes dandelions remind me of MC. Jessy: Aww, is it because they’re like a little sunshine, spreading light and hope everywhere? Hannah: What? Gross, no, it’s because they’re like a weed that you can’t get rid of!

Dan: It'll be fun.

Dan: We'll make a day of it.

Dan: Come on you punk bitch.

MC: I can't believe I have to say this but...

MC: I don't have time to get tested for STIs with you tomorrow.

Jessy: MC said I was their second favourite person, and I was bummed, but then they said Lilly is third. They have no favorite person. They’re holding the position open. MC, from far away: Little does she know Jake's my favourite.

MC: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

Jake: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce. Phil: What's wrong with you?? Jake: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention. MC: No, he means other than that. Jake: Ohhhhhh. Jake: I haven't slept in 4 days.

MC: Thomas, fuck off. MC: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

Dan: New year, new me. Lilly: Bitch, it’s August. Dan: Time is an illusion.

Cleo: What do we say when making bread? Richy, glumly: That's the dough rising. Cleo: And what do we NOT say? MC, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.

Cleo: MC… MC: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.