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#Wayne’s thoughts
rocketpunchblam · 8 months
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If Batman just let riddler dox those guys in origins we wouldn’t have to find all these fucking trophies
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frownyalfred · 1 month
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Thinking about the JL finding out that Bruce has contingency plans for all of his kids and being horrified. But when the League asks them about it, all the kids are like “yeah! we actually all have them for each other just in case” and move on like it’s perfectly normal to have three different ways to take out your brother on hand (for emergencies).
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clarisse-doodles · 3 months
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inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is
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violent138 · 1 month
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Hal: "Have one of your enemies died or something, I've never seen you smile like that."
Bruce, putting his phone away: "No Alfred just sent me a dick pic."
Hal, frozen in place, seriously reconsidering his thoughts on rich people and their butlers: "That's... nice of him."
Bruce, cursing his kids for normalizing "Dick pics" in their house as a way to refer to photographs of his eldest: "It's not like that."
Hal, holding up his hands and avoiding eye contact: "I think I preferred it back when I overshared and you told me to keep things professional."
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stay-close · 4 months
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You don’t need to be better than any one else you just need to be better than you used to be.
Wayne W. Dyer
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not-another-robin · 3 months
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I think Alfred should have a cat friend
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theaceofarrows · 1 month
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Welcome to the family
[Dick on the phone with Wally, while walking up the manors driveway]
Dick: I still can't believe that he got another kid! I'm gone for a few weeks, and suddenly, he gets empty nest syndrome, unbelievable
Wally: Yeah, definitely didn't see that one coming. So, have you met the kid yet?
Dick: [groans] I'm about to, not that I'm overly thrilled about this
Wally: I get it, dude. Just make sure not to take it out on the kid too much
Dick: Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to be a complete jerk. After all this mess isn't the kids fault
Dick: Ugh, I just hope this kid doesn't act like Bruce hung the starts or something-
Dick: [opens the front door]
Jason: -you really like the Frankenstein movie more than the book?! B, how STUPID can you be?!
Wally: [still on the other end of the line] What was that?
Dick: ...I'm gonna have to call you back, Wally
-
[Later]
Dick: [holding back laughter] And then, after he threw the tire iron he said- he said "Try and catch me you big boob!"
Wally: No way! He did not say that to Batman!
Dick: HE DID!
[hysterically laughing]
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 4 months
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G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̏̃n̵͙̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀Wa̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉
It was a simple mission. Damian was working with Father to confirm the existence of a Lazarus Pit below Gotham, as Ra's Al Ghul speculated. And they had found it, deep in the caves below Gotham. A Pit the size of an Olympic sized swimming pool, bubbling and steaming. He'd only looked away for a moment.
"Kin-slayer."
Standing waist deep in the water stood Damian's reflection. The hair might be white, and the eyes glowing with the waters, but it was his face. But not his face alone.
Danyal's ghost glared at him. "Get in the water."
Father threw a batarang at him, but the metal flew straight through his head like it was air. Danyal didn't even glance at him, his eyes fixed on Damian. "Get in the water," he ordered again. He stepped closer to the shore and the green water sloshed up the bank higher than it was before. "Or I'll raise the tide so high, all of Gotham will die. So get in the water."
Damian's heart jumped into throat. "Wait-"
"Get in the water."
Father shoved Damian behind him, as if it would protect him, as if he could stop Danyal. "Stop this, please-" If he could just explain-
Another step and the waters surged forward, nearly touching Father's boots. "I'll make whirlpools so profound, your entire family will drown," he promised.
"NO!" Not his brother, his kind brother-
"THEN GET IN THE WATER!" Danyal snarled, revealing monstrously sharp teeth and a black tongue from Damian's poison. "G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̟̰͙̏̃n̵͙̝̟̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀w̵̜͍̤̌a̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉͜!̷̡͔́̀̽" He lunged and Father pushed them back down the passage they'd come. "Don't mistake this for a bluff, brother. You've lived more than enough. Just get in the water." Damian swallowed, throat dry. Was this Danyal's revenge? Did he finally have to face what he had done?
"Robin, who is this?" Father snapped, trying to keep retreating down the cave. But Damian wouldn't let him; the waters, and Danyal with them, would only follow.
Danyal looked between them, scowling. "G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̟̰͙̏̃n̵͙̝̟̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀w̵̜͍̤̌a̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉͜!̷̡͔́̀̽" he snapped again. "I'll take your father and gouge out his eyes, unless you want to stop being a coward and choose to die. Now... get in the water."
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webshood · 3 months
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the fact that Bruce made Jason believe in justice and that they could improve the community and better the lives of the citizens by fighting crime, but when he came back nothing had changed, the rogues were still running rampant, and the Joker didn't have a harsher punishment for torturing him, killing his mom and blowing him up, he was still just getting put on time out at Arkham until he decided to escape again
Jason's life was interrupted too soon and he came back to everything being the same shit as always, the only change was that his father had found a substitute for him
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scarlethood · 4 months
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can we talk about how Damian’s culture shock had not been addressed in any significant way ever in canon or fanon?
imagine you are 10 years old, your mother loves you dearly, you are told all your life stories of how important and legendary your father The Batman is, you are to be a strong warrior-assassin-son and you excel in your training, your mother and grandfather are proud of you until they say you have to leave.
you lose everything. your home country, language, religion, relationships. your comfort foods, smells, clothes. everything.
you're given to your father who you have been told you need to prove yourself to, you are being treated as an enemy, you have no allies, no one will explain the unwritten unspoken rules especially not your father who has decided you are a nuisance.
they tell you your past and everyone in it is evil, your home is evil, your mother and grandfather are evil. you cannot have any connection to anything or anyone familiar.
your father dies. they all still hate you. they will not let you go home.
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goathouse · 9 months
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[ID: the Supernatural "I love you" meme. The 2nd box reads: "Wayne Brady just came out as pan." End ID.]
Here's the video he posted on tiktok:
[ID: a 32-second tiktok of Wayne Brady, accompanied by 3 dancers, lipsyncing and dancing to "It's All Coming Back To Me Now." He starts the video in a pink bathrobe, then reappears in a pink suit and a long wig. The other dancers wave a rainbow flag. End ID.]
the video description (which doesn't appear with the video outside the tiktok app, annoyingly) says:
As someone who gets to bring joy to others daily on tv, it's been ironic that I don't experience it as much as I'd like. I advocate mental health for all and a part of that is self transparency. In doing my work, I've come to see a few truths, one of them being that I want to be free to l love whomever I want. This truth makes me pan and part of the lgbtq+ family. It's scary as hell to say it out loud but here it is. The people I admire most are the ones brave enough to be themselves unapologetically. This shouldn't shake anyone's world, but if it bothers you at all, that's your business:) I was so afraid of having my manhood questioned, but screw that. A "real man" in my eyes, isn't afraid to be honest and happy. From now on, I'll be over here living my best life. I love you @Mandietaketa @Maile Masako @Jason
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t00thpasteface · 10 months
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this comic was brought to you by (1) my mom insisting we need to watch the 1989 tim burton batman and (2) me wondering why on god's green earth they got prince to do the music. and for the record i fucking love prince (and grew up listening to him), i just would not in a million years think to make that connection on my own. anyway please listen to Erotic City it's a good tune
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frownyalfred · 1 month
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okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.
Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."
Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red
Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."
J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"
Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"
Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."
*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*
Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."
Ollie: "For ice cream?"
Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."
Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."
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38sr · 10 months
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young smallville meets young gotham
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flamingpudding · 4 months
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Guys it's just merch
Danny watched with a smile hidden behind his mug of hot cocoa his new family. Originally he was only going to mess with them a little, since he wanted to keep his civilian live he gained with them but at the same time wanted to kind of provoke them to tell him about their night time jobs on their own.
Not like he could just flat out tell them he knew about their vigilantes lifes and that would be embarrassing to explain.
It's not every day that Danny's powers fluked on him, but with the stress of the past months, it happened. Right at a moment, he had to be clumsy and trip over his own feet and accidentally phased through a grandfather's clock, finding a hidden passage. Well at least he learned that way that Batman hadn't placed him with some other rich fruitloop that wasn't his godfather but well... with Batman himself and his family out of mask.
Yeah no, he did not want to explain that and hoped they would do that themselves. But apparently, they took Danny's statement of wanting a normal life a bit too serious.
Which brought him back to his current entertainment in the form of messing with his siblings.
"I don't get what the problem is guys. It's just merch." He chuckled slightly at the face Damian was making. While Jason chose to kick Tim under the table.
"Soooo how much merch on Red Robin do you have with this shirt now?" Dick asked instead with a bright smile, Danny still hadn't figured out how to tell what emotion he hid behind them sometimes.
"I think this is my third shirt of him." Danny mused, placing his cup back on the table and tapping his lip in a thinking motion. "Though I was going to pick up a couple of custom-made jackets of Red Hood and a Nightwing plush later today."
He acted like he did not hear the triumph like hiss of 'yes' from Jason as well as the very upset huff of Damian.
He just grinned at the amusement about how they apparently were competing over how much merch he owned of each of them.
When he found a Robin figure and several Robin pins mysteriously placed on his desk the next morning, he broke out laughing. Yet still just to mess with them gushed about his newly gotten merch to his family while sharing a knowing look with Alfred who knew he was just messing with them.
If there was a surprising amount of Batman merch, suddenly mixed into what he already owned the following week without his knowledge. Well, he wasn't going to complain about free stuff.
But he still would get a good laugh out of their reactions on the day he decided to full on dawn every piece of Batman merge instead of theirs.
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mikakuna · 2 months
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i see this jason todd who actually looks his very young age (instead of the 30yr old man that comics like to portray)
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and feel my heart breaking just imagining bruce beating him up, almost killing him, mind-breaking him, and just overall being a total piece of shit father towards him.
a huge chunk of the reason why people don't view bruce's actions towards jason as abusive or wrong is because jason doesn't look his age. he's drawn to be this 35yr old father of three who looks even older than dick (and way too on par with bruce) that people see their fights as one between batman and any of his regular rogues. when they fight, it just looks like batman is fighting a man his age and not an actual young person. it doesn't look like batman is fighting his son who's barely even drinking age (and who def wasn't drinking age in utrh). their fights are portrayed in a way that eliminates the very real power struggle between them.
this applies to jason's entire character as well. a lot of people don't sympathize with how he died or his actions as robin or his fights with the other bats because he doesn't look his age. he always looks older and scarier than everyone else. tim has many sympathizers from the titans tower incident because jason just looked like a grown man fighting a 12yr old (even tho i disagree, tim was built and like 17 lmfao).
anyways, i just wish comics would actually draw jason to look his age, which literally ranges from 19 to early twenties. he's young- so young, and it's so annoying to see him drawn and written as someone older than even bruce.
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