#The water thing gave me an idea for a hurt/something fic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uvobreakmylegs · 11 months

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Last Day Out

sorry for my inactivity here’s a Chrollo fic for your troubles

Warnings: death, kidnapping

Word count: 6.9k

The dark, clouded skies overhead threatened to burst open with rain at any moment, much to your disappointment. You were hoping that the weather would be good when you went out with him today. A nice day with lots of sun but wasn't too hot – that was what you'd been counting on. Days like that made it hard for you to feel sad, and you hoped it would be the same for him.

But despite a decent temperature, the clouds loomed overhead and blocked out the sun completely. That only left you feeling nervous.

What made that feeling worse was the fact that there weren't a lot of people here, the threat of rain was compelling most to stay at home. Not an unreasonable stance to take, but it was bad timing for you. A busier atmosphere in the cafe would have made you feel a bit more at ease, but when the only other company you had were the two waitresses who were currently wiping down empty tables and an elderly couple taking their time with their lunch, it was hard to feel like you had any safety in numbers.

Then again, the cafe could've been filled to the brim with patrons and you likely would've still had the same problem. Because no matter how many people were around you, it wasn't like that changed anything when you were sitting across from your boyfriend and trying to build up the nerve to tell him something that he wouldn't be happy to hear.

With the way things were outside of the cafe and how nervous you felt, you almost wanted to cancel your date entirely and move it to a different day, but you'd forced yourself to go through with it, knowing full well that if you dragged this out any longer, it would only get worse for you.

You needed to break up with Chrollo.

But you needed to do it in a way that didn't end in him being angry with you.

That couldn't be too hard, right? In the time that you'd known him, Chrollo had never exhibited any truly worrying behaviors towards you. The two of you had some disagreements, but he had never gotten full-on angry or even raised his voice with you. And while ending a relationship was much more significant than the minor disputes you'd had over unimportant things, you wanted to believe that he would take it well.

He needed to care at least a little about you, right? So he wouldn't take it badly and lash out in the worst way possible, right?

You had no idea, but you told yourself that he would respect you enough to accept your decision, even if it might hurt him to do so.

He was capable of giving you that much courtesy, right?

“You've been very quiet today.”

The sound of his voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and then you were back, sitting in the booth of the brightly-lit cafe that was greatly contrasted against the dark hues present outside, with your mostly finished meal sitting on a plate in front of you while the older couple a few tables away spoke quietly to one another and one of the waitresses had disappeared to an area in the back.

Back to Chrollo, sitting across from you with a look on his face that you couldn't quite read.

You got the sense that he was studying you.

You gave him a soft smile as you said “I guess the state of things outside has me feeling a bit down.”

He nodded as if he understood, then said “we didn't need to go out today if you weren't up for it.”

“No, I wanted to go out. And besides, sometimes it's better if you make yourself do something even if you aren't feeling up to it.”

Immediately after saying that, you realized how bad that sounded, and you stumbled over yourself as you added “sorry, that came out wrong. I didn't mean to make it sound like going out with you was a chore.”

He smiled at that.

“I assumed that was the case, but I appreciate you clarifying.”

Chrollo took a sip of his water before saying “and while it's a nice sentiment, it's also always fine to cancel if you aren't feeling well.”

“It's not really a matter of not feeling well,” you answered, “just one of those days, you know?”

“I see.”

The meal was coming to a close, and soon one of the waitresses would be over to take your plates. Which meant the time that you needed to say those words you dreaded was coming up.

I think we should break up

Just thinking them made a lump form in your throat, and in that moment you really wished it was safe enough for you to break up by text. It would've felt scummy to do it that way but you wouldn't have needed to deal with this. Although breaking up through text wasn't taken well even by the most well-mannered people, and you desperately didn't want him to be angry with you.

You just couldn't see him the same way anymore.

Not after watching that video.

The waitress, the one with braided hair who'd been wiping down the tables earlier, approached your table and asked if she could take your plates. Chrollo responded for you, smiling as he gave her a polite confirmation.

Okay, you thought to yourself. As soon as she left, you would say it. Maybe begin by saying you had something important to talk about.

“Was there anything else I can get for you?” the waitress asked, “or did you want the check?”

You were about to ask for the check when Chrollo responded for you again.

“I wouldn't mind having a look at the dessert menu,” he answered. Then he looked to you as he asked “does that sound good to you?”

“Uh, sure.”

The waitress was happy to comply, and with the cafe being next to empty she brought the menus over to you quickly. Chrollo didn't take long to figure out what he wanted, and he and the waitress chatted a bit while you came to a decision.

You glanced over at him a few times, noting how comfortable and relaxed he appeared to be as he engaged in polite conversation.

He still had a knife, you realized. It sat next to where his plate had been, having gone unused during the meal. A bad thought came to mind then. Of how open the waitress' neck was and how easy it would be for him to grab that knife and then-

Stop it. Just order something and then get this over with.

The waitress went to the back soon after to get a parfait for you and a tiramisu for Chrollo, which left you alone with him again.

It'd be awkward to tell him now that you wanted to leave him, wouldn't it? So you'd need to wait until after you'd gotten your desserts to say it. You let out a soft sigh without thinking, after which you found yourself hoping that he hadn't noticed.

“I know it isn't much,” Chrollo said, bringing your attention back to him, “but I thought that perhaps something sweet might lift your spirits a little.”

“Thank you,” you replied, then added “sorry if I've been ruining things for you today, though.”

“Nonsense,” he replied, “no matter what mood you're in, I'm happiest when I'm with you.”

As he said that, he reached one of his hands over the table and held it out, and after a moment, you copied him, placing your hand into his and allowing him to squeeze it softly.

There was an odd flutter in your heart upon feeling his touch. And when you looked back to him and found the soft smile on his face as he stared at you lovingly, you remembered the day you met him and why you'd fallen for him.

The area where the two of you met was close to the cafe; you'd been walking on the sidewalk when someone had shoved into you from behind unexpectedly and you were sent crashing onto the pavement. Your hands and knees had taken the brunt of the fall, and were subsequently scraped up to the point of bleeding.

When you looked up from your bleeding palms to see if whoever had pushed you had the decency to stay and check if you were alright, you didn't find anyone, and you couldn't catch sight of anyone who looked as if they were fleeing the scene.

The situation was made worse when you saw that of all the others on the sidewalk were actively ignoring you. They wouldn't look at you, and for the ones that found you in the middle of their path, they would walk around you and go on their way.

That had been a depressing moment: you were clearly in need of at least some assistance and no one around you felt inclined to even acknowledge what had just happened.

That was when he showed up.

Chrollo seemed to appear out of nowhere and offered a hand to help you back up to your feet. He kept a firm but gentle grip on you as he looked over where your injuries were worst before he asked if you would let him help you.

Still in slight shock over the situation and being unable to properly use your words, you nodded.

Twenty minutes after that you sitting on a bench in a park while Chrollo applied the disinfectant he'd gotten at a nearby convenience store to your wounds before placing the bandages.

By that point you were feeling better, even after dealing with the painful sting of the disinfectant and the ache in your arms and legs. You wanted to repay the man who had been the only one to care about what happened to you. While he'd refused reimbursement for what he'd spent on disinfectant and bandages, he agreed when you proposed that you pay him back by getting him something to eat.

Ten minutes after that the two were sitting at a table at that same cafe, chatting over the desserts you'd be paying for. You remembered how grateful you felt. If not for him stopping to help you, your entire day would've likely ended on a sour note with you patching yourself up on your own and trying to distract yourself by watching a comfort film. Instead you were out at a cafe with a handsome man who had proven himself to be extremely kind and generous, and when he'd asked you to give him your number so he could keep in contact with you, you were more than happy to do so.

It didn't take long after that for Chrollo to become your boyfriend.

Evidently the way you met was also on Chrollo's mind, as he then said “We've come here a lot, haven't we? Ever since our first date that night.”

“Wasn't so much of a date as it was me trying to get over what happened after I got knocked down,” you mumbled.

He smiled as he said “I thought it was in repayment for my helping you.”

“Well, yeah,” you began, “you were really nice to me, and I wanted to do something nice for you back.”

“And I'm glad you did. We might not be here right now if not for that.”

“Yeah....”

The way you trailed off was a mistake, as you watched Chrollo's eyebrows furrow in concern. You tried to wave away his concerns before he could voice them, however, saying “sorry, just feeling tired.”

It didn't seem like you had been too successful, as he was serious when he spoke again.

“You should get some rest when you get home, then.”

You nodded while saying “I will.”

Just then the waitress from earlier approached the table with your orders, setting them down as she told you to enjoy. You both thanked her, and she walked off while you focused on the dessert in front of you. Despite hoping that Chrollo would be right and that you'd feel a bit better, the dessert didn't do much to ease your nerves. And what began to disturb you was the fact that every time you glanced up at Chrollo, he would glance up immediately after and catch your gaze. You tried to play it off by smiling at him, but you felt the muscles in your cheeks becoming more and more strained.

He wasn't stupid. He'd caught onto the fact that there was something wrong with you. Lying about it would only make it worse when you eventually told him.

Chrollo wasn't stupid, but you sure felt like it in that moment.

Not long after the waitress brought the bill out to you, placing it on the table while telling you to take your time. When she was out of earshot, he spoke.

“Is it really just the weather that's bothering you, love?”

You looked up at him and found that you couldn't read his expression again.

“This entire time you've looked as though you've been wanting to say something to me,” he continued.

…. Best to say it now, you supposed.

Placing the half-eaten parfait to the side, you took in a few breaths to try and compose yourself.

“Yeah, you're right,” you began, “there is something I need to talk about.”

He didn't reply, evidently waiting for you to speak.

You quickly glanced up at him again and just as quickly glanced at your folded hands on the table.

Just say it. Just say it and get it over with.

I think we should break up

“I think we should break up.”

When the words finally left your lips, they were a bit more hushed than you'd intended, perhaps partially out of fear of saying them too loud and drawing unwanted attention to yourselves, and perhaps also because of how much saying them out loud scared you. You had no idea how he was going to react to that, and that uncertainty kept your gaze focused on your hands, too scared of what you might see if you looked back to him.

There was no reaction from him at first, and part of you wondered at first if he hadn't heard you. Yet the longer the moments passed with nothing being said and the more you felt his gaze boring into you, the more you felt certain that he had, in fact heard you. Perhaps he was taking the time to process it.

You still didn't want to look at him.

He didn't say anything at first, and for a moment all you heard was the chatter coming from the other patrons of the cafe. It sounded like the elderly couple were leaving as you heard the other waitress wish them a good rest of their day. The bell above the entrance rang out as the door was opened, and rang once more as it was shut.

Now all you heard was the waitress as she cleared up the table the couple had been sitting at and a distant rumbling of thunder from the outside.

You stayed quiet, figuring that the ball was in his court.

The first sign of a reaction from him came when he slid his plate to the side before resting his forearms on the table. From the edges of your vision, you saw the way he clasped his hands together. He was taking what you said seriously.

Then he spoke.

“I did get the sense that you wanted to discuss something important with me,” he began, “although I must admit that this wasn't what I was expecting.”

“I thought things were going well between us,” he added, “but there must be something wrong if you were unhappy with me and I failed to notice it.”

“I'm not unhappy with you,” you replied.

“Then why would you want to leave me?”

Just make it out like you're the one who's the problem, you told yourself again. Don't let him catch onto the fact that you know anything about what he's done.

“You didn't do anything wrong,” you said, “you've been wonderful, actually, and I've really loved the time we've spent together.”

“But I don't think that I'm really in the right place mentally to be in a relationship,” you continued, “I've got a lot to do with work and other obligations, and I really need to take some time to do some self-reflecting.”

“Self-reflecting on what?” he asked.

“General issues,” you answered.

Fuck. That felt like such a weak answer. Say something else.

“I'm also just not good enough for you.”

There was a pause before he repeated “not good enough?”

You nodded.

“In what way?”

You cleared your throat before saying “financially speaking, we aren't very well matched.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because I don't want to leech off of you,” you said.

“You've never done that.”

“I feel like I have sometimes.”

He didn't immediately respond, but you got the sense that he wasn't satisfied with that line of reasoning. You needed to say something else.

“Plus, I'm really not smart at all when compared to you,” you added, “I don't always understand the things you talk about, and make you clarify yourself a lot just so I can get it. You shouldn't need to dumb yourself down for my sake.”

“When has that happened?”

“Just.... Every now and then, you know?”

“I don't.”

…. You didn't know what to say to that. It was becoming obvious that drawing this out was only exposing what little reason you actually had to be leaving him as your answers were becoming more ridiculous. And you still couldn't bring yourself to look at him, too worried that if you saw the way he was looking over you, you would crack.

Just keep blaming yourself and tell him that he can do better than you.

It wasn't like that part was a lie

Ignoring that bit of self-loathing that came up to the surface, you told yourself to press on. Find something that would be an acceptable reason for him.

Before you could do that, he spoke again.

“If it's simply insecurities of yours that are the only reasons you have, then those are things that can be worked on, and I would be happy to help you get through those issues. I don't see why we need to end everything when there's a much happier solution,” he said.

“You shouldn't need to deal with my issues, though,” you replied.

“Why not?”

“You deserve better than that. You'd be better matched with someone who isn't so much of a mess.”

“And like I said,” you continued, “I really need to work on myself on my own, and I don't want to drag you with me through that process. Or make you wait for me.”

“So you're telling me to move on?” he asked.

“I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm just saying you're wasting your time with someone like me.”

“You need to stop saying that, love. Being with you isn't a waste of time.”

His voice had a stern edge to it when he said that. As if you were beginning to upset him.

“Sorry,” you began, “and that's really sweet, but I think it's for the best if we go our separate ways.”

“And if I disagree?”

“..... I'm sorry, Chrollo. But I've made up my mind,” you told him, “I don't want to hurt you, but you can't force me to stay with you, just like I can't force you to stay with me.”

You reached to the side to grab your bag and fish out your wallet, saying “lunch is on me. It's the least I can do.”

He didn't say anything. And after you placed the jenny on the table to pay for the meal, you didn't say anything either.

You're almost out of this, you told yourself. Just get your things together and leave.

You were putting your wallet back in your bag when he spoke again.

“Is there a reason why you won't look at me?”

His question made you pause.

It made sense that he would ask, though. Since telling him that you wanted to break up, you hadn't looked at him once, instead keeping your gaze on either your hands or what was left of your parfait.

A normal person who wanted to break up wouldn't be so adamant on not looking at their now ex-boyfriend, would they? Not unless they were mad about something. And since your reasons had all been to do with how you were a mess and not good enough for him, it would be strange to keep that up, especially if your goal was to leave him without making him upset with you.

Look at him, apologize, and then leave.

And whatever images pop up in your mind when you see his face again, be sure to ignore them.

Taking a small breath that you hoped he didn't notice, you looked over to him.

There was an unhappy expression on his face, his lips set in a frown while his eyebrows were wrinkled over his eyes, conveying the feeling that he was sad and didn't understand your reasoning for leaving him.

You might've believed that was what he actually felt if it wasn't for the way his eyes studied you in that moment, watching your facial expressions closely to pinpoint something that would give away that what you were saying wasn't true, if there was something more that you were attempting to hide from him.

There had always been a certain intensity to his gaze, even from before when you felt good about the two of you being together. In the beginning it had made you nervous, the way it felt he could look right through you, but you had gotten used to it, chalking it up to Chrollo giving you his full attention.

You saw something different now when he looked at you.

You turned your head away, mumbled out one last “I'm sorry” and then placed your hand on the table as you prepared to leave.

“Just answer me one last question before you go, love,” said Chrollo.

“.... Okay.”

Almost there. Just answer his question and then you could leave.

“Are you sure you're leaving me because you feel that you're inadequate?”

He paused.

“Or is it because you found out about the Phantom Troupe?”

…..

Hearing him say those two words made you freeze. You didn't know how long exactly, but you stayed in your seat for a few seconds, staring at the floor of the cafe while your mind processed his words. He knew that you knew.

He knew that you knew.

Get out.

Now

With one hand on the table and another on the back of the seat, you were about to push yourself up-

He stopped you from standing as his hand clamped onto your forearm, keeping you where you were with a firm grip that refused to let go.

“You aren't leaving, love,” Chrollo whispered, “not yet.”

“Let go of me,” you replied.

You tried to pull your arm away, but his grip stayed strong.

“Stay seated and talk to me,” he said, “if you make too much of a scene, you might attract attention. That's what you've been trying to avoid, isn't it?”

Upon hearing that, you looked about the cafe. Neither of the waitresses could be seen, which must've meant that they were in the back. But they could come out at any moment, and if they did notice something wrong going on between the two of you, you feared they might involve themselves.

The thoughts you'd had regarding the waitress and the knife from earlier came back to mind, and you shuddered.

You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you caused Chrollo to do something to them.

“.... Okay,” you said, “okay. We can talk. But could you let go of me?”

“No.”

“I won't try to run again, I promise.”

“I wish I could believe you, love,” said Chrollo, “but unfortunately, you aren't proving to be very trustworthy at the moment.”

“Chrollo,” you began, trying to pull your arm away again and still getting nowhere with it, “Chrollo, you're hurting me.”

“It only hurts because of how hard you're struggling. Stop trying to pull away and the pain will stop,” he answered calmly.

“I want you to let go of me,” you said.

He didn't respond to that, and after a few more unsuccessful attempts to get your arm away from his grip, you felt yourself becoming desperate.

“Chrollo, please-”

Upon hearing that, he shook his head.

“Being polite about it isn't going to help you much right now,” he said, “if you really wanted to prove that you'd cooperate, you would stop struggling.”

… He was right that struggling like this was pointless, you realized. And as much as you didn't want him touching you, doing what he wanted was more likely to lead to a solution where you didn't end up dead. Tell him that you had no intentions of going to the police and that you wanted to forget everything.

You stopped trying to tear your arm away and instead sat quietly. Maybe the show of submission would have him let go of you.

Instead of that, his hand slid down from your forearm and grasped at your wrist. That looked less strange, probably. Like he was holding you affectionately instead of keeping you from leaving.

He got straight to the point, asking “how did you find out?”

“... Does it really matter?” you asked back.

He hummed.

“I assume someone told you, then,” he said.

“I didn't say that.”

“No, but it felt as though you were trying to protect someone,” he replied. Then after a moment he added “and it seems I was correct since you became even more tense when I said that.”

….. You hated how easily he was able to figure it out. And you hated how easily you had given up that information, even if it was unwittingly.

“Who was it?” asked Chrollo.

You shook your head. That was something you wouldn't be telling him. And when that became clear to him, he shrugged.

“The answer to that can come at another time,” he said, “though I have to assume it was someone important to you if it was that easy for you to believe them and not even ask me for my side.”

“.... I saw a video of you,” you whispered.

His eyebrows raised slightly.

“And what sort of video was that?”

“One where you sliced a man's neck open.”

He didn't seem to be phased by what you had said. He didn't push you any further on that, and merely hummed to himself again as he finally understood why all of this had happened.

Someone had shown you proof of his true nature.

Chrollo didn't push you any further on what you'd seen; it didn't seem to interest him.

But you remembered it clearly, sitting on the couch in your apartment, holding the phone that your friend had handed to you after calling you up and telling you that they needed to show you something important. They were standing over you, watching your reactions as you looked at the footage on their phone that they'd managed to get a hold of. It had come from a contact of theirs, they told you, but they wouldn't elaborate further.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing; Chrollo, who had always been so kind and caring towards you, approached what appeared to be a security guard in a hall who was distracted by his phone.

Then he had crept up behind the guard and sliced his throat with a curved blade.

And as he let go of the guard and watched as he fell to the floor, the camera that had been mounted on the side of the hall was close enough that you were able to see Chrollo's expression clearly, and it was best described as being disinterested. What he had just done was of no consequence to him.

But the truth was that the murder wasn't the worst part of the video.

It was what came after.

That neutral expression changed when you heard a voice come from off-camera, a cheerful voice that called out to Chrollo and caught his attention. Whoever had spoken didn't appear in the video, but you heard them as they made a joke about the dead guard, something in regards to him having his phone out on the job. What it was that had been said exactly you couldn't remember. But you did remember Chrollo's reaction to it.

He smiled as he let out a short laugh. It was a sight you'd seen before during the times that you'd amused him and was usually followed up by an affectionate pat to the head. Something you had grown fond of.

Now you saw that same smile at a murder scene.

Chrollo had just killed a man, and he was laughing about it.

Your world came crashing down and you could barely hear your friend telling you the details of what they called the Phantom Troupe and the things they had done as you were too focused on the fact that for the past eight months you'd been dating a murderer. Someone that didn't bat an eye at killing innocent people, and you'd been getting to the point where you were fantasizing about the possibility of living the rest of your life with him.

And that image of him in the video stayed in your head.

It would've been easier to deal with if he'd remained emotionless the whole time. That way you could've rationalized it in a different way; that everything you'd experienced with him was all a lie, any reaction you'd gotten out of him wasn't genuine and that he wasn't a person who felt anything, that he just used a facade to act like a normal person and all you were to him was a way to build upon that lie. That he'd picked you because he rightly assumed that it'd be easy to entrance you with the mask he wore so you would play the role he wanted.

What you had seen when he laughed was a genuine reaction. No matter what you tried to tell yourself, he had no reason to fake an emotion like that when he was around someone who was a participant in his crimes.

As quiet and reserved as Chrollo was, it wasn't as though he didn't have emotions. They were somewhat muted at times, but they were there.

And he had laughed at what his friend had said while a man lay dead or dying at his feet.

It was made worse when you thought of the happy moments that you had spent together. And even worse still was that moment from earlier, when he'd grabbed your hand and smiled at you and caused your heart to flutter.

How was Chrollo able to commit something as horrendous as murder and still be able to love you so freely? Even now, when he was literally holding you down so you couldn't get away from him, his thumb began to rub circles against your skin as if to calm you, and somehow it didn't feel like it was an act.

How could he do that?

“No wonder you've been so nervous today,” he said, “you must be terrified of me.”

Seeing no reason to lie, you nodded.

At that, he pulled your hand up from the table and brought it up to his mouth so he could place a soft kiss upon your clenched fingers.

It was a weird mixture of emotions again. Despite knowing that he was a murderer, you found that your mind was going back to happier times that you'd spent with him. Like the time you'd had a bad day at work and he showed up at your apartment after to cheer you up by making you dinner, or the time you'd happened to find a rare book at a pawn shop that you had heard him talking about and surprised him with it. Things that had you feeling like you were growing closer to each other.

You weren't lying when you'd said that you loved the time you'd spent together.

But you couldn't bring yourself to stay with a murderer.

“I was told that you – you've killed a lot of people,” you began, “I don't understand why you would do that when you've always been so good to me. I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't shown proof.”

Chrollo was still holding your hand, but when no response came from him, you continued.

“I don't want to cause you any trouble,” you said to him, “I don't have any plans to talk to the police or anything – I don't even have the video, so it's not like I'd have proof even if I did go to them. It'd be my word against yours, and I'm pretty sure they'd believe you over me. So it'd be for the best if we both forgot about each oth-”

His grip on your wrist became tight enough that it hurt, and you were cut off as you let out a small squeak of pain.

The instant you made that noise his grip lessened, and he went back to caressing your skin. There was no acknowledgment of what just happened, however, as he appeared to be deep in thought.

Outside the weather finally broke and small droplets of rain were starting to come down against the windows of the cafe. It wasn't too bad now, but it seemed likely that the storm would become worse before long.

When the waitress returned to the table for the payment you had hastily left out for her, she didn't notice anything amiss with you. Likely because Chrollo distracted her by engaging in more conversation.

She returned to the back not long after, and then he spoke again.

“You've been rather cruel today, love.”

“.... Cruel?” you asked.

“Bringing me to this place with the intention of dumping me despite the times we spent with each other here,” Chrollo explained, “as if you wanted to ruin the memories that came from here.”

“That – it wasn't – I wasn't trying to do that,” you stuttered, “I just thought.... Maybe things would be okay if we spent one last nice day together and ended everything on a happy note.”

He wasted no time in responding to that.

“Are you saying that because you genuinely wanted me to be happy, or were you trying to ensure that I wouldn't retaliate against you after?”

…..

There was no doubt that your expression upon hearing that question told him everything. That, coupled with how clammy your hand felt while still being gripped by his gave him every answer he needed:

You were just trying to save your own skin.

After a few more moments of silence, Chrollo spoke.

“I think it's time we were leaving, love.”

With that, he finally let go, standing after exiting the booth before immediately holding his hand out to you once again. And as you once again had very little choice in what to do, you took it, allowing him to help you to your feet.

You left the cafe with your hand in his, the bell above the door ringing above you as you ventured out into the rain. Chrollo turned to the right upon exiting the building and began to lead you over to where he had parked his car.

So he was going to drive off with you, and then......

“.... What happens now?” you asked, “what are you going to do to me?”

“Keep an eye on you, for the most part,” Chrollo answered, “suffice it to say you won't be going out anytime soon.”

“What.... What do you mean?”

“Don't start believing your own lies, love,” he said, “ you know exactly what I mean.”

“But.... What about my job? They'll notice if I stop going in for work,” you replied.

“You'll be quitting.”

“So then.... You're going to make me stay with you?”

“It was about time we moved to that stage anyway,” said Chrollo.

“No,” you answered, shaking your head as you said “I can't do that. Please Chrollo, just let me go.”

“I told you earlier, love,” he said as he led you to the car, “changing your tone and being polite isn't going to do much for you.”

“But-”

He interrupted you to ask “you said the video you saw was one where I slit a man's throat?”

While hesitant, you still nodded.

“And you want to argue with me after seeing that?” he continued.

It dawned on you what he was getting at, and your voice was a whisper when you asked “so you really are going to kill me?”

“Of course not, love. You dying has never been an option,” he said.

“But I can't say the same for whoever showed you that video.”

It clicked then.

“I'm – I'm not going to tell you,” you said.

“It doesn't matter much if you won't tell me; I'll find out regardless,” Chrollo answered, “but depending on your actions right now, I might be willing to show mercy on them.”

“..... You mean you won't hurt them?”

He nodded.

“But that all depends on what you do now,” he said, “and whether or not you get into the car willingly or if I need to force you inside.”

With that, he opened the passenger's side door for you and after turning his attention back to you, he finally let go of your wrist. You instinctively held your hand up against your chest, partially from the relief that came when he finally stopped touching you, and partially so he couldn't grab you as easily again. At least, not by your wrist, anyway. Chrollo could easily still grab you by the shoulder and force you into the car, and you were anticipating that would be what happened next.

Except he didn't do anything. And when you looked to him while he still held the car door open, he didn't say anything to you; he only continued to look at you expectantly.

…. Ah. Right. He'd just said it.

You getting in willingly meant you getting in on your own.

Him letting you go like that was probably a test, you noted. If you were going to try and take advantage of the fact that he'd let you go and try to run, or if you really were going to cooperate with him. It'd also tell him how much you really cared about the friend that you wanted to protect.

As much as you found yourself wanting to run, you doubt you'd get far at all if you tried it.

So you climbed into the car just as the rain began to come down harder.

Chrollo shut the door after you.

Moments later he was in the driver's seat, buckling his seat belt before starting up the engine. He then looked over to you, and after a moment he reached over you to grab the seat belt to your side and secure you to the seat as well.

“.... Sorry,” you mumbled.

“You don't need to apologize, love,” he said, “though a 'thank you' would have been sufficient.”

“.... Thank you.”

He didn't respond as the car was pulling out of the space and onto the road. With the turns he took on the next few streets, you could tell that he was taking you back with him to his apartment. Just like he'd said. Where you wouldn't be allowed out for a time. Just like he'd said.

And as for your friend......

…. While you'd done as he'd wanted and got into the car on your own, it had taken you a little bit to actually do that.

Was that enough reason for him to kill them?

You cleared your throat in an effort to make sure the words came out as clear as they could.

“I'm sorry,” you said.

“For what?”

“For being..... Cruel to you,” you answered.

He hummed.

“I don't know how much I believe that, love,” he said, “it seems more likely you're only saying that as a way to try and appease me.”

….. There was no point in arguing, and you hung your head while biting your lip as you wondered if you'd just made a horrible mistake in saying anything else to him.

The car came to a stop at a light, and it was then that you felt his hand grasp yours once again. When he pulled your arm towards him, you didn't resist and allowed him to do what he wanted. Then his lips came into contact with your skin once more before he spoke.

“It's alright, love,” he told you, “we can get through this.”

“And with a little bit of time, I'm sure we can get to the point where you can apologize and actually mean it.”

You looked to him then, your eyes meeting his as he still held your hand to his lips.

And when you made eye contact, Chrollo simply smiled and kissed your hand once more.

#reader insert #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo #yandere #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere x reader #chrollo lucilfer #yandere hxh

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ravenromanova · 6 months

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Come back to me Pt.1

Pairings: 616 Wanda x Vision, 616 Wanda x female reader, 838 Wanda x female reader

Warnings: None really for this part.

Masterlist - Send me requests!!!

This fic came from this request!!! enjoy :) I also have no idea how many chapters i’m gonna write so just sit back and enjoy :)

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be with you not him. Watching her hands all over him was like a knife to the gut. You kept wondering how you got here, how he was better for her than you. The world felt so much darker as you watch them cuddle up together on the couch.

*Flashback to a few days ago*

You were laying in your bed when you heard a soft knock on the door. You called out for whoever it was to come in and when the door opened it revealed a distressed looking Wanda. She shut the door behind her before she sat on the edge of your bed.

“I uh need to tell you something” Her voice was soft but hoarse as she spoke which made you nervous.

“You can tell me anything Wands” Wanda smiled at your words but she still didn’t know how to tell you what she needed to.

“Well uh. Vision asked me to be his girlfriend” Your eyes went wide at her words. “And i said yes” That was the moment you felt your heart break and a lump form in your throat.

“That’s great Wands! I’m so happy for you!” You lie as you put on your best happy face. Wanda felt like you were upset but she wasn’t going to push you to talk.

Your mind was going a million miles an hour and your heart was racing. The two of you talked for another few minutes before she left your room and you broke down.

That night you skipped out on dinner which Wanda made and opted for a mental breakdown instead.

*End flashback*

And that brings us to a few days ago. Team movie night. Aka the night you dread the most because you had to watch Wanda and Vison be all lovey dovey. You thought that after a few days the feeling of hurt and rejection would go away but it didn’t. If anything your heart broke more anytime you saw her or them together.

So in the days after Wanda and Vision were official you took a major step back and distanced yourself from Wanda. It took her by surprise when you told her you weren’t in the mood for your weekly movie night on tuesday. She didn’t understand why you were being so distant so she decided to corner you in the training room for answers.

Wanda walked into the training room determined to get answers.

“Y/n” Her voice made you take a step back from the punching bag and make eye contact with her.

“Yea Wands?” Your voice was gravelly and hoarse causing a shiver to go down her spine.

“Why are you avoiding me” Your brows furrowed at her bluntness and you stood there confused.

“I-I’m not” You said trying to defend yourself. She scoffed a little a crossed her arms over her chest.

“Really? Because you’ve turned me down for our movie night, you started training with Nat instead of me, you don’t sit next to me at dinner anymore and we haven’t gone to lunch in days” Wanda said pouting a little and you felt your heart strings tug a little.

“I’ve just been busy” Was all the explanation you gave her and she huffed in annoyance.

“Y/n please!” She begged feeling her eyes well up with tears. “I miss you” Her words made you sigh as you grabbed your water bottle.

“Wanda please..It’s nothing to do with you i’ve just had a lot going on that’s all” You said softly looking into her soft green eyes.

“Okay…I’m sorry” Was all she said before she abruptly left you in the training room. You turned around to say something but the doors shut before you could.

You stood there as your thoughts ran wild and you felt a lump in your throat. It was all too much for you to handle so you just gathered your things and went back to your room hoping to sleep it off.

When you got to your room you were quick to turn the shower on and step into the warm water. The water cascaded down your skin melting away some of the tension in your muscles. You tried to shake the thoughts of Wanda out of your head as you washed your body then hair. You took your time with each step not wanting to leave the warmth and safety of the shower.

Once you were fully satisfied with your shower you stepped out and wrapped yourself in your fluffy robe. You changed into your favorite sweats and hoodie before slipping into bed just wanting to sleep away your problems. So that’s what’s you did you turned on The Vampire Diaries before you drifted off into unconsciousness state.

*Your dream*

The sun shined on your face causing you to groan a little before you slowly opened your eyes. You looked around and noticed that you weren’t in your room. You slowly uncovered yourself and walked around the room. There were small trinkets scattered around along with pretty paintings on the walls. But your heart stopped when you saw the picture on the nightstand. It was of you and Wanda with two baby boys smiling at the park.

Your heart started to beat faster and your hands started to sweat as you stared at the picture. After a minute of staring at it you put it back down and grabbed the robe on the door before walking to what you assume was the kitchen.

The sounds of giggling filled your ears as you approached the kitchen. And you couldn’t believe what you saw when you walked in. There Wanda was sitting at the kitchen table with two boys who looked around five and they were eating breakfast.

“Morning malysh” She greeted as she stood up from the table to grab the plate she made you. You walked up to her with a small smile on your face not really understanding what was going on but loving it nonetheless. Wanda handed you the plate with a small kiss on your cheek and you sat down next to one of the boys.

“Morning mommy” The little boy in a blue shirt said giving you a side hug when you sat down. Your eyes widened a little and you looked at Wanda who had a little smirk on her face.

“Uh morning honey” You said giving the boy a kiss on the head before you started eating along with them.

“How’d you sleep?” Wanda asked sitting back down at the table. She gave you a look as you asked making you wonder if she knew you were confused.

“I slept okay” You said tilting your head in confusion at the look she gave you. Wanda just nodded at your words and continued to eat her breakfast.

The four of you ate breakfast and you learned the boys names Billy and Tommy. You were still confused as to what was going on after you cleaned up from eating. Wanda had sent the boys to their room after you finished eating so she could talk to you for a moment.

“Malysh?” You felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist when you heard her voice. You turned around in her arms to face her making her smile a little.

“Yea?” You said in a soft voice making Wanda damn near melt.

“Are you okay?” She asked knowingly.

“Not really…I’m confused. One minute i fell asleep in my room at the compound and then the next i’m here with you and…and our kids?” As the words left your mouth you grew even more confused as to how this happened.

“Well if it makes it easier to understand this is a dream” Your eyes widened at her words.

“What?!” You said completely bewildered not comprehending what the fuck was going on.

“Well it’s a dream of our future” She said as she took you to the couch. The both of you sat on the couch and you waited for her to continue.

“I’m not the Wanda from your universe to start. In my universe i made the same mistake as the Wanda from your universe. I chose Vision in my universe just like yours did and i regretted it immediately but i felt stuck. And it wasn’t until…You uh died in my universe that i knew i made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve spent the last two years trying to find a universe with you in it. Most universes have a you but you’re normally already with Wanda except in this universe…” You felt like you got whiplash from her words as you sat there and listened.

You sat there for a few minutes before you found the courage to speak. “So you’re not my Wanda and you’re from another universe? And i died in your universe? how? when? I-I and are the boys real? or are they just in the dream?” Wanda took your hand to stop you from having a panic attack.

“Breathe malysh breathe” She said calmly. “You died on a mission two years ago when we were taking down a hydra base and we got ambushed. We did everything we could to save you but it didn’t work. And yes in most universes the boys exist. We used a sperm donor to have them. You carried billy and i carried tommy.” Her words calmed you down a little.

Your thoughts were running rampant as you looked at the woman you loved. “I- Wow” Was all you were able to say making the witch laugh a little.

“I know this is a shot in the dark but w-would you come back to my universe with me? I-I can’t keep living without you” Wanda begged holding your hand a little tighter.

“But won’t that ruin the multiverse?” You asked a little nervous. It’s not that you didn’t wanna go it’s that you were scared and also thought that you were going crazy.

“No it won’t. I can make it to where you don’t exist in this universe. I can make it to where no one even knows your gone.” She said quickly to make sure that you didnt say no.

“Okay” You nodded your head. Wanda smiled and brought you in for a passionate kiss. And that’s when everything went blank.

*End of your dream*

You woke up and rubbed your eyes and looked around the room to make sure you were in your own room. It took you a few minutes to realize where you were and that you were okay. You shook off the dream assuming that it was just your brain playing games with you.

The clock read 12:02 when you saw a portal open in your room. You rubbed your eyes again as the portal opened and Wanda walked through.

“Wanda? What are you doing?” You asked still half asleep.

“I’m bringing you home Malysh”

~The end of part 1~

A/n Sorry not sorry for the cliff hanger 💋 I love yall and i’ll see you in the next part :)

#ravenromanova #wanda maximoff #marvel x reader #wanda x reader #dark wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x female reader #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda x y/n #wanda x vision #wanda x you

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axelsagewrites · 1 month

Note

Could you do a Roy or Jamie fic where the reader gets hurt? Even something silly like getting hit in the head with a ball at practice or something! They’re super concerned and want to take care of them! I also love angst…sorry if it’s a stupid idea. No worries if you don’t want to write it 💜✨

Jamie Tartt*Practise Mishap

Pairing: Jamie x f!reader

Word count: 1291

Warnings: reader getting hit by a football (which hurts a lot btw from experience), Jamie feeling guilty, fluff

A/n: i love this idea btw ive been wanting to write something like this for a while but i made this more fluff than angst

Masterlist here

You’d never actually seen Jamie at practise. There was the occasional time where you dropped him off or picked him up after, but you never lingered since he needed to concentrate. However today Jamie in all his genius managed to forget his phone this morning.

“Wouldn’t have forgotten it if you hadn’t have distracted me love,” he teased, a smirk toying on his lips that made you smack his chest.

“Can you not?” you said, nodding to where the coaches stood only a couple feet away.

Of course, Roy heard. A loud groan came from him before he barked at Jamie, “Back on the field Tartt,”

“You staying to watch Jamie in action?” Ted asked, far more politely than Roy who was sulking at the suggestion.

You looked between him and Jamie who seemed to perk up at the idea, “Is that allowed?”

“I don’t see why not,”

“Maybe he’ll actually put some effort in,” Roy mumbled.

Jamie just rolled his eyes at Roy before giving you a quick kiss, “Get ready to see the king in action,” he said before running back on the field as you laughed.

“How do you stand him?” Roy grunted.

Truthfully you found Jamie’s cockiness annoyingly attractive, but you didn’t think Roy needed to hear that. “What can I say? I’m a saint,” you joked.

Even though the practise was interesting at first it was just boys kicking balls around a field and the illusion quickly worn off. That plus you were supposed to get a bunch of things done at home since it was a rare day off. You turned to Ted to tell him, “I’ll probably shoot off in a minute or two,” you said at the same time as someone yelled “Watch out!”

Roy tried to grab your arm, pulling you out the way, but not fast enough and a ball planted right in the middle of your chest, knocking you off your feet. You hit the ground with a thud and all the air was knocked out your lungs.

You heard Jamie shout your name, but you were too busy coughing up a storm and trying not to be sick. Roy and Ted had crouched down beside you, Beard shouting for Nate to run for the first aider. “Are you alright love?” Jamie asked, dropping to his knees beside you.

“I think- “your attempts to speak was interrupted by more coughing and the urge to be sick, “Ow,” you winced.

“What the fuck were you doing Colin?” you heard the footballers begin to argue as they all rushed to your side.

“I was trying to pass to Isaac! I didn’t know he didn’t see me,”

“When I said improve your kick, I didn’t mean kill Jamie’s bird,” Roy yelled at him, standing up.

Ted tried to calm him, but it was Jamie who spoke first, “Oi! The lot of you move it. you’re crowding her now piss off,” his anger washed off his face when he turned back to you, “C’mon love let’s get you some help,”

“I’m fine,” you winced as Jamie pulled you to your feet.

“No, you’re not now be quiet and let me help you,” he said as he helped you over to sit on a bench at the side. The first aider came and gave you a once over and said it was all good but to be careful. So, Jamie naturally made them triple check. Colin also came over, apologising a million and one times to which you assured him it was okay, and Jamie tried not to death glare him.

Some water and painkillers did help but you still weren’t feeling amazing. Ted walked over with a guilty smile on his face, “How we are doing over here folks?”

“Better now,” you smiled, hiding your wincing as best you could.

“I’m gonna kill Colin,” Jamie muttered.

You rolled your eyes, placing a hand over his, “It was an accident babe. Let’s just let it go, okay?” Jamie didn’t say anything, but you knew he wouldn’t. “But I should defiantly go now,”

“Well Rebecca gave me a call saying to tell Jamie to take the afternoon off and take care of you,” Ted said and before you could protest, he cut you off, “Its doctors orders, okay? Now scamp you too. And try take it easy, okay?”

You felt bad making Jamie miss the end of practise but right now football was the last thing on his mind. after dropping you off at his place and surrounding you with pillows and blankets Jamie went on a Tesco run for snacks.

When he got back you laughed when you saw the almost overflowing bag. “We’ve got enough to survive the winter,” you joked as he sat it down. “You’re spoiling me,”

“Never,” Jamie said with a bashful smile as he pulled out the flowers from behind his back, “Got ye these as well,”

“Aw Jamie,” you gushed, standing up to take them from him but you winced slightly as you did.

Instantly concern washed over his face as he grabbed your arm to steady you despite you not actually falling, “You alright love? I knew that women missed something. What hurts- “

“Jamie,” you interrupted him, cupping his face with your hands making him pause in his tracks, “I’m fine baby I swear. Are you?”

“Yeah, course I am,” he said, wrapping his arms around you, “I just don’t want you getting hurt and that. I just feel bad’s all,” he said, mumbling as he hugged you tighter.

You moved your head to rest on his shoulder, hugging him back, “But why?”

“You were there to see me and then you got hurt. I know how hard those balls can hit,” he said before sighing, “Its all my fault,” he mumbled making your heart break.

You pulled back only to pull him to sit on the couch next to you, placing the flowers on the coffee table, “It was an accident. It was no one’s fault,”

“It was colin’s fault,”

“It was no one’s fault,” you repeated, rolling your eyes with a small smile, “Now are you gonna sit and mope all day or are you gonna take care of me?”

Finally, a smile cracked onto his lips, “Thought it didn’t hurt anymore?”

“I lied,” you said, sinking back into the couch in a dramatic display, “I am wounded beyond belief. You’ll need to do everything I need,” you joked with a hand splayed across your head.

Jamie leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, “Don’t I always?” he smiled. “Want me to put those in some water?”

“Yes please,” you grinned as Jamie got up to sort out the flowers, but you called out before he could leave the room, “Can we have a movie night?”

“If that’s what the lady wants, that’s what the lady gets,” he grinned, “Just try not pick a total chick flick,” he added with a smirk that made you roll your eyes.

By the time he’d returned with drinks and a takeaway menu you already had 27 dresses queued up, “Oh c’mon,” Jamie protested as he dropped onto the couch beside you.

“Please, I’m injured,” you teased making him roll his eyes but finally agree. Despite his protests Jamie was more into the movie than you were and made you pinkie promise to pause it when he went to get the food when it arrived.

Four chick flicks and an unholy amount of food later you and Jamie were curled up on the couch under a pile of blankets. “Feeling better?” he murmured in your ear though you could hear from his voice he was already half asleep.

“Feeling perfect baby, thank you,”

“Anything for you,”

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#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fluff #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt x y/n #ted lasso #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso fic #jamie tartt oneshot

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thebestofoneshots · 18 days

Text

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 10.7 K Warnings: ANGST! Use of the unforgivables, bIood, major and minor character dеath, major sad moments, mental breakdowns, taking characters to their breaking point, pain, griеf… I’m really sorry. Prompt: What happens when you hear something dreadful happening, will you stand up for what's right? Will you stay quiet for the greater good? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

A/N: This chapter is getting shadowbanned no matter what I change so please like, reblog and comment so it does not go under the radar.

Chapter 44: No One But You

A hand above the water An angel reachin' for the sky Is it raining in Heaven? Do you want us to cry?

Where the hell is the alcohol in this party? You wondered as you stepped out of the room, dealing with Arkalis and Evan was more than enough for the rest of the night. If only you could find a corner, pull out a book and focus on that without being bothered by anything or anyone else, you’d be satisfied. Of course, that could not be the case, could it?

“Well look who’s here?” Barty said with a smile as he blocked your path.

“Oh, Barty!” you said as you tilted your head. “You should probably go look for Evan, he seemed like he needed… a friend.”

Barty’s eyes seemed to burn when you spoke, but you stood your ground, even as he approached you with ferocity. He might be as tall as you were, even if younger, and he might have been able to overpower you in the past, but he was not about to make a scene in the middle of the party, he wasn’t dumb, he had never been. And clearly, he wasn’t important enough for the deatheater clique to be at the private dinner, he didn’t need unwanted attention.

“If you did something to him again…” he said, voice low and threatening.

You blinked calmly at him, “Barty… in this party, you should be careful with the things that come out of your mouth.” He grabbed onto your wrist, anger clearly seething from him. “I didn’t touch him,” you said as you looked down at his hand and then back at his face, “I’d suggest you’d have the decency of doing the same.”

Then you felt a hand on your shoulder, Barty finally let go of his hold on you but stayed in his place, glaring now at the person standing behind you.

“And I would suggest you turn the fuck away before I hex you again. Remember where you are Crouch. This might be Arkalis’ dinner, but my father was the one to invite Tom here.”

Barty gave you another look of hatred and then stormed off. You sighed and turned back to look at Regulus.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, eyebrows softly knit in concern.

“No,” you said as you shook your head and moved your hand a little bit, it was the same arm Evan had latched onto you earlier, but frankly, after having fallen from your broom, punched by bludgers, dragged by water spirits and scratched by werewolves, this felt like nothing. “Is there Firewhiskey here?”

“Firewhiskey?” Regulus asked in disbelief. “You want to drink?”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’ve never sneaked out Firewhiskey from your father’s stash.” Regulus gave you a look in return that was answer enough. “So, you’ve never drunk?”

He shook his head and you laughed at that, “Such a good boy,” you teased. In response, Regulus pushed you to the side, which only made you laugh a little more. “Let’s find some,” you said with a smile, Regulus tilted his head to the side disapprovingly.

“It’s a terrible idea to do it here,” he responded.

“Come on, Reg, there’s no way you want to see whatever the hell those people consider to be a show, do you?”

Regulus averted your gaze, and you narrowed your eyes at him. Does he know something…

A glass of cold water over your dress diverted your thoughts. “Oh, sorry,” the girl said, she had a streak of white hair pulled back behind her ears and looked far from being sorry.

Your dress was black, so whatever she had poured, certainly didn’t ruin the look, even if it was fucking freezing you now, “Whatever, I’ll just use a drying spell,” you said as you pulled your wand out and waved it over your dress.

“You’re Silas’ daughter, aren’t you? You were sitting next to Lucius at the dinner.”

You turned to her with a small frown, she was the girl talking to Barty earlier, the one that looked like Sirius and Regulus. You extended your hand politely, “I’m afraid I don’t know who you are.”

She seemed irritated at your lack of recognition. “This is my cousin Narcissa, Cygnus’ daughter,” Reggie said, introducing her to you.

Cygnus’ daughter… Where had you heard that name? Right, Andromeda’s sister, you thought. You hadn’t spoken much to Andromeda Tonks, though Sirius and Remus had shown you some of her letters. As far as you knew, she had been kicked out of the family in the same way Sirius had, and her sisters had done nothing to help them. But then again, Regulus hadn’t helped Sirius either and you didn’t hate him for that.

“Nice to meet you,” you added, she gave you a look before actually shaking your hand.

“You’re dating Sirius,” she added, her tone making it clear that she looked down on you for it.

“Cissy,” Regulus said in a warning tone.

“I am, he’s delightful, you should know since you grew up together.”

She scoffed. “Sirius is a disaster. He would always spark chaos and make stupid pranks on the parties, I’m glad he’s not invited anymore. He wears that awful leather jacket all the time, pretending to be a muggle or whatever and he’s insufferably loud.”

“All of which I find absolutely charming,” you replied with a nonchalant smile, “You do not?”

Cissy, as Regulus called her, scoffed again. “Just stay away from Lucius,” she added before leaving you and Regulus behind in favour of talking with someone else, her long hair flipping behind her in a rather majestic way that you would have praised had she not been a total bitch to Sirius. It must be in their genes, you thought, the Blacks have amazing hair.

You turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “The hell was that about?”

“Lucius is her fiancé, she must have seen you talking to him at the dinner,” Regulus said. “You… looked very interested in whatever he was telling you.”

“Oh, that?” You asked with a smile that turned into a smirk, “I was trying to piss Evan off.”

“I figured.”

“Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an offence.” Regulus raised his eyebrows at you and you gasped in disbelief. Then you spotted someone serving themselves a drink over in the far corner, it was the bar. You smirked, “Come on Reg, I’ll teach you how to drink.”

“I don’t need to–”

“Just come,” you added and pulled him along with you, you managed to convince the house elf there to give you a half-empty bottle of Fire Whiskey after telling them Arkalis had asked you to take them to him and pulled Reggie along towards a balcony.

“It’s cold,” he said as the two of you stepped out, you could see the puff of condensed air blowing from his mouth as he spoke.

“This’ll warm you up,” you said as you offered him the bottle. He gave you an exasperated look that was an awful lot like Sirius’ but took the bottle in his hands anyway, taking a small sip and scrunching up his face as he felt the bitter taste. Then he coughed and covered his mouth with his arm as he returned the bottle to you with a disgusted frown, you were laughing so much it took you a second to lean closer to him and place your hand on his back. “You all right?”

“No wonder they call it Firewhiskey,” he said as he managed to catch his breath. You laughed again, still rubbing your hand over his back, he shook his head as he stood straight. He was a deal taller than you now, it hadn’t quite settled back in school, but it was evident now. “Why would you even drink it?”

“Do you not feel warmer?” you asked as with a raised eyebrow, he seemed to think about it for a second. You were now taking your own sip of the bottle.

“A warming spell would for sure do the trick.”

You sighed and leaned over to look at the sky, you could see Sirius’ star up there, shiny and beautiful, just like him. Walburga and Orion might have been awful, but they definitely had a good eye for picking out names, even if they were just copying those of the stars.

“Yeah, but it would take away the fun,” you said, head still tilted up and looking at the sky. You heard a few whispers from the inside, and you leaned your head over the window, there were people crowding a certain area of the room. Regulus stepped in between you and the window.

“How’s school going?”

You gave him a look, that was a stupid question.

“I mean, I saw you at the Slug Party, you’ve been doing good at potions, haven’t you?” he pressed.

“Haven’t I?” you asked with a frown, allowing your gaze to turn back to him. “It’s all thanks to my partner, he’s really good?”

“Sirius?” Regulus asked, he had never heard of his brother being remarkably good at potions.

“What? No, my potions partner, Remus.”

“Ah… of course,” he said, now he had heard how good his brother’s best friend was. He was even a prefect.

“But I’m shit at transfiguration,” you said with a shrug. “I don’t think Minnie and Horace are friends enough to discuss such things, though.”

“I could teach you,” he offered.

“Thanks, but I’ve already got a tutor.” You tilted your head to the side to try and see inside and then he moved, blocking your line of sight again. “Regulus?”

“Yeah?” he asked, playing dumb.

“You know what’s happening there, don’t you?”

He swallowed thickly, “Nothing you should be concerned about, it’s adult stuff.” You shook your head as that and motioned to move inside but he stopped you again. “Please!” He sounded desperate. “Let’s stay here, and drink a bit more, I’m… I’m not looking forward to seeing my parents again.”

You sighed, you knew how delicate it was for both Regulus and Sirius to deal with Walburga and Orion, and perhaps you shouldn’t have listened, you should have followed your instinct and walked inside, but there was something about the pleading expression Regulus had made that convinced you. You huffed out a breath and turned back to him. “How’s school for you? Messing with Severus didn’t put you on the spot, did it?”

Regulus shook his head and carefully moved to the side, pulling his wand from his pocket and secretly casting a spell towards the doors so the sounds from the inside wouldn’t filter to the outside. You were looking at his face, so determined to figure out his emotions that you failed to notice what he was doing.

“Not at all,” he responded. “Severus thinks it was all your fault.”

You pouted at that, “How could it even be my fault, he’s the one that ate the snacks, I didn’t even offer them to him.”

Regulus laughed at that, “So you had nothing to do? No emotional manipulation involved?”

“What do you take me for? A housemate?”

“Haven’t you been saying you ‘missed the whole indoctrination’ part by getting to Hogwarts so late?”

“Doesn’t change the fact the snakes can be very manipulative. You know the muggles think they’re to blame for losing paradise.”

Regulus huffed as he shook his head, he was just proving your point right then and there, “Well, I’ve never met a snake with ‘Vixen’ as a nickname.”

“You know about that?” you asked in disbelief. “How do you even know about that?”

“The entire school knows about that! Potter isn’t exactly subtle when he calls you. To be honest, I thought he was pissed the first time I heard it, and then I was surprised you weren’t insulted by it.”

“It’s an inside joke.”

“I could tell,” he responded and then smirked, almost imperceptibly, “I think it fits.”

“Ass,” you said with a laugh and pushed him lightly. He laughed along with you.

Talking with Regulus was fun, he told you more about the Slytherin common room, he mentioned seeing the giant squid through their window once when he was in his second year studying for a quiz late at night, and he told you about the time he had done the quidditch trials, back when Dorcas was still in the team. He asked you about the race, and you told him that’s when you and Sirius got together.

You also told him about some of the fun things you had done with the boys, like picnics near the lake and even sneaking out at night to get books from the forbidden section. He asked you to teach him the disillusionment charm one day, and you promised you would.

While the rest of his family was a piece of work, you thought Regulus had come out as nice as Sirius, even if a little more stuck up. You didn’t mind though, it was part of his own charm. He’d make a great brother-in-law…

“And then Solacis added the last ingredient of the potion, and it blew up on their faces…” he told you with a smile, mimicking the explosion with his own hands. The alcohol had warmed his cheeks and made him a lot more expressive by now. You laughed along with him.

“Yeah? And what did Slughorn do?”

“Nothing, he was being distracted by Nox so they wouldn’t fail the both of us,” he explained. “Nox added dragon breath to his potion and it clogged the entire classroom with purple smoke.”

“For real?”

He nodded excitedly, it was nice to see Regulus more relaxed, “Nox thought it was amazing and tried switching the ingredients around, he now knows how to make smoke of almost any colour, we’ve used it on parties so many times since then.”

“I had no idea Nox was that into potions…”

“Oh, he loves them! Slughorn doesn’t like him too much though, he’s always doing his own experiments in the back of the classroom instead of focusing on the class, and often ends up changing the potions around and–” a harrowing scream cut through his words.

Your head snapped towards the inside and Regulus blinked a couple of times. His spell! It had worn out.

But I’m not that drunk, he thought, he was certainly having fun, but that was just a consequence of hanging out with you.

“What the hell was that?” you asked as you looked inside, but he stood in between you and the door in a second.

You gave Regulus a stern look but he shook his head really fast, he looked nervous, like a kid that had done something terrible and didn’t want his parents to find out.

“Regulus,” you said as you tried to look over his shoulder, but he moved to block your sight again. “Regulus, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. You… you don’t want to know, just trust me.” It was more a plea than anything else.

You took a step back, “Have you been distracting me?”

Regulus swallowed and then nodded, “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” You asked, voice dry.

“I don’t want you to see what’s happening in there.”

“And…”

“Your mum might have implied I’d be better this way as well.”

You nodded, you weren’t angry at Regulus, at this point you understood why he did most of the things he did, and you knew whatever he was doing now, it was because he wanted to protect you from his parents and whatever it was they were doing.

“Will you tell me what’s happening inside?”

“Will you promise not to enter if I do?”

You sighed, “You know I cannot do that, Reg.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“Yeah?! For me or for the person screaming?”

“If you do anything reckless–”

You squared your shoulders, determined. “Regulus, let me in.”

He didn’t move. You tried to move to the side and he moved along with you, effectively blocking your way again, you scoffed, slightly exasperated.

“Regulus, I–” You were interrupted by another harrowing screaming, and then a silence so eerie it chilled your very bones. You looked at him, straight in the eyes, his eyes were red-rimmed and shiny, you were about to ask him what the hell was going on when a cheer erupted from the inside. All of the wizards were clapping, as if whatever had happened was cause for celebration.

Regulus winced at that which only made you worry more about what was happening inside.

“You don’t need to see that, trust me,” he repeated. Thunder came from above and then a smokey green skull appeared in the sky. There was a snake protruding from its mouth, slowly swirling around the skull. You swallowed, you knew exactly what that was, Seraphina had shown you pictures, and she had told you that one of the reasons they’d cast that spell was because… they had just murdered a muggle.

You swallowed thickly, the scream, the silence, the cheering. It all made sense now. They had been tоrturing someone and you had been distracted, you weren’t even given the chance to stop it. But then again, could you have stopped it? One person –nay, a 6th year– against an entire army of deatheaters, you might have been a good duelist, but you weren’t narcissistic enough to believe you could take them all down by yourself

Perhaps it really was better to be out here, avoiding the reality that was inside and hanging out with the one person in this entire party that you’d actually want to talk to. You didn’t appreciate being tricked, you hated that Regulus had decided to keep you in the dark, but at the same time, you were thankful. He had spared you from having to witness whatever horrors were being committed inside.

You were just a kid, why was it your responsibility to stop it? Why was it your war to fight? It was fucking unfair.

“Trust me,” Regulus said, “stay here, it’s better this way.”

You swallowed, and there was another scream, you shut your eyes and turned your gaze to the side, you could feel tears prickling in your eyes.

“It’s not your fault, you won’t be able to do anything, even if you witness it.”

You turned back to look at him, your teeth pressed so hard against each other it hurt, “They’re kiIling muggles,” you whispered.

Regulus sighed, his eyes were just as glassy as yours, “We can’t do anything about it.”

You huffed and looked at nowhere in particular. There was another scream, and then another one, and then there was silence and cheers. You sank down to the floor, the snake in the sky was still crawling around. Your breath was slow and controlled as if you were trying to keep it together. The first scream, you couldn’t have blamed yourself for it. The first one out? You had no idea. But this one?

You already knew what was happening and chose to stay outside with Regulus. You chose to ignore it and an innocent had diеd. Were you any different from your father now? He had sacrificed Sirius and Regulus for his political means –and he hadn’t even gotten them kiIled– and now you were letting those innocent people diе.

For what? To be the perfect daughter? To play the part they asked you to play and then pretend like nothing had happened? To write a letter to Nightshade and Dumbledore telling them everything that had happened tonight and becoming a valuable asset? A spy? Was that what you wanted to be? Was that what you were meant to do? Was it worth it to let all these people diе, in order to win the war in the future? Were lives exchangeable like that? One life for a hundred, does that… make it worth it?

There was another harrowing scream and then silence and then more cheers. You dug your head on your knees.

You

Were

Heinous

As much as you considered your father to be.

Was stopping a war, winning a war, any different from the way he coveted power? Was it any difference in doing things for the greater good to doing things for power if the casualties were exactly the same? People were dying, and you were too much of a coward to do anything about it. Hiding behind a mask of righteousness and pretending it was all for the greater good –It was, but it didn’t feel right.

Sacrificing innocents was never okay, not even for the greater good, and yet… you were here, crouching on the floor, and wishing you were somewhere else, wishing you hadn’t heard that first scream, and that Regulus was still telling you about Nox and how good he was in potions and so on. You wanted to feel like things were normal, like there wasn’t a war; like you were a normal teen, not one being trained to be a soldier, a spy, a warrior.

Was it selfish to wish for all of this to go away? To wish to be elsewhere? Were you selfish? And if you were then, for what?

For letting innocents diе or for wishing you were ignorant about it?

There it was, the eerie silence again. And then a wicked laugh. “Would you look at that? the little witch has claws?”

The what she said?

You turned your head to Regulus and the look he gave you in return made you instantly know that whatever was going on inside was as much of a surprise to him as it was to you.

“Reg wha– What does she mean by witch?”

“I–” he stuttered and turned to look back, there wasn’t much he could see, except for Bella’s black hair bouncing around as she said something else. “I’m not sure but–”

“Filthy mudblood!” the same voice roared and then there were screams.

But there was something about those screams, they were different from the rest… And not because it was a witch but because… you gasped when the realisation hit you –you knew that person.

“Nina,” you whispered.

“What?” Regulus asked, confused.

“That’s Nina!” you repeated as you stood up and tried to get inside.

Regulus squared his shoulders to block your path, and then gently placed his hand on your arm, “There’s nothing you can do, forget it.”

“They have kilIed muggles, Regulus. What’s stopping them from doing the same thing to her?”

Regulus shook his head, “You cannot intervene, even if you know her.”

“Even if I– Regulus, Nina’s my friend! Like you, like James! I would intervene for you, even if it did nothing.”

“It would be stupid,” he replied, there were tears in his eyes, you could tell his mental struggle ran as deep as yours.

“If it were me, would you just wait and let me diе?”

Regulus closed his mouth, looking down while not being able to give you an answer. You weren’t sure you wanted to hear it either way.

“Let me through, please.”

“I wouldn’t let you diе,” he said, panic filling his voice, he felt like he had to reassure you, he wasn’t the evil one here, he just wanted to protect you. “But I’ve known you for years, you’re my brother’s girlfriend, it’s different,” his voice was filled with panic.

“It’s not different for me,” you said as you shook your head, a sombre tone adorning your words.

“I can’t let you go in,” he replied, his voice breaking towards the end. “I’m sorry.”

You pulled him into a hug, you could sense him relax into your hug the second you did. She understands, he thought.

“I’m sorry too,” you whispered with a sad smile, he didn’t have enough time to react, “Petrificus totalus.”

You caught him as he fell, his entire body leaning onto yours as you tried to hold him from hitting the ground. Regulus was a lot heavier than he looked but you managed to open the door again and drag him back inside. You smiled awkwardly at the person who spotted the two of you and lifted the bottle as an excuse. If they thought Reggie was passed out drunk, they wouldn’t think you’d charmed him to get in. The person nodded as if completely understanding and you dragged Reggie to a chair.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered again, accommodating him to look asleep.

And then you walked as fast as you could towards her screams.

It took all your strength not to break down at the sight, there were people –not people, their bodies– on the floor. They weren’t covered with bIood or anything like that, it wasn’t gory, it was just… harrowing. At least 7 of them, all of them on the floor, horrified expressions on their faces. They probably had no idea why they were there and had been hexed and tоrtured till the light escaped his eyes.

The scene enraptured you so much the screams in the background almost faded out, especially when you saw someone you instantly recognized. The lady at Kings Cross, the one that had hugged Nina, she was there too, you sobbed. You had allowed that to happen, you had allowed them to kilI Nina’s mum because you were too scared to intervene.

“Crucio!” you heard the woman scream again.

You turned your face away from them and towards the turmoil, there were many people crowding around her and Nina, so many that you could barely see the top of her blonde hair, and the only reason you knew Nina was still there was because of her screams. You spotted Tom, Arkalis and the man you now knew as Rodolphus Lestrange all sitting and chatting at a faraway table as if none of it was happening. Tom would often turn to see what was going on, smile and then go back to the conversation with a pleased expression.

You shuddered and tried to find a way through the people. You had to push a few wizards around and got an angry elbow shoved in the rib at some point but you pressed on. Eventually, you reached the edge of the circle, and you had to hold back the tears threatening to spill out as your young friend squirmed, her long hair sprawled all over the floor, and tears in her eyes. She had her mouth determinedly closed and her brows furrowed, she was trying to resist screaming again, all to avoid giving the woman the satisfaction.

“I’ll find a way to help you,” you mumbled as you looked around for possible solutions. If you had had more time perhaps you could have used a mist bomb to create a commotion, if you had more time to think of a solution, perhaps you would have burned the curtains down with incendio or caused some other kind of distraction to drive people away from Nina and sneak her out. But you had no time, and your mind was filled with the stress of seeing poor Nina on the floor, with that heart-wrenching expression on her face, and the soft whimpers that she couldn’t help but let out as she continued holding her cries and the woman with curly hair twisted her wand to inflict more pain.

If you had acted earlier, if you hadn’t let fear and cowardice drive you away from the incident, perhaps things wouldn’t have ended up the way they had, but you had been selfish, and you were now facing the consequences of your own decisions, them being mainly the mental strain and the stupidity of the action you were about to commit.

“CRUCIO!” the woman shrieked again. “Come on luv, don’t be shy, we want to hear your cries.”

She twisted her wand and Nina let out an agonising cry. This can’t continue, she’s not gonna last.

“Come on little mudblood, cry louder!” the woman said, enjoying herself so much you felt like you wanted to puke. “Entertain us!”

You stepped forward, “Stop!” You shouted.

The woman turned to you and, surprised you had spoken and twisted her wand again, Nina cried, but the moment she spotted you, there was a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

You raised your wand at her, “I said STOP!”

“Silas’ daughter?” she asked, clearly diverted. “Thought you were snogging my little cousin Regulus somewhere in a corner.”

You held her gaze, “Last warning,” you added.

She laughed haughtily in return, “You think you could do anything to me? What are you? A 4th year?”

You were so focused on the woman and Nina, that you weren’t paying attention to the things surrounding you, at least you had gotten her attention enough to have her stop torturing Nina, who was now struggling to catch her breath.

In the far corner, Orion and Tom had turned to look at the scene with a perturbing interest, as if they wanted to see the bIoodshed that your stupid disobedience would cause. Evan had gripped onto Barty’s forearm and pulled him away from the circle and both of your parents were rushing towards you as fast as you could, but the crowd, which seemed just as interested in the situation, was making it harder for them to reach you.

“None of your fucking business,” you replied. She turned her wand back to Nina and you stepped in her way in two long strides, she laughed again.

“You’re a Gryffindor, aren’t you? There’s no way a Slytherin would be so recklessly stupid.”

“Let her go,” you said sternly. “She’s a witch, just like you.”

The woman laughed again. “She’s as much of a witch as the rest of them,” she said with a smile and pointed at the pile of bodies behind her, “Muggle-borns are abominations that shouldn’t exist. So weak they need real wizards to defend them, don’t they, Luv?” She said the last bit looking at Nina, she was still on the ground, eyes shiny with unshed tears but she held her head high.

“I’m only making things even,” you replied, “do you really feel superior when you need thirty-plus wizards for torturing a 14-year-old?”

The woman scoffed, “Do you even know who you’re talking to?”

“No, but I bet I can guess,” you replied. “Dark curly hair, pretty but dеadly, a little crazy –I assume due to inbreeding– and you were sitting next to Rodolphus, which makes you one of Cygnus’ daughters. I met Narcissa today, and you’re definitely not Andromeda, which leaves out… Saiph? No wait, wrong star, it’s Bella, isn’t it?”

She gave you a deranged smile, “Bellatrix.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you responded. “Now let’s leave this nonsense behind, and–”

“Crucio,” she said pointing her wand behind you, Nina cried again.

“Stop!” you shrieked. “Confringo!”

Bella barely managed to stop your spell and turned to you with rage, “Can someone take care of her?” she asked to no one in particular. Suddenly there were several wands pointing your way, but no one cast a spell. No one was brave enough to attack Silas’ daughter directly.

Bella smiled and pointed her wand towards you, “Expelliarmus,” she said with a smile, your wand left your hand faster than you could react.

She gave you a wicked grin as she pointed her wand at Nina again. She looked like she couldn’t take another moment of it, and you were running out of ideas. “Stop! I have a better prey for you.”

Your father said your name sternly as if he could read your thoughts.

You ignored it completely, “Why bother with a muggle-born when you could be torturing someone who’s mixed-race.”

Your father screamed your name again, but Bella seemed interested enough to lower her wand and look at you, she wanted to know whose life you’d propose instead of Nina’s.

“A mixed-race you said? Whoever could that be?”

“Me!” you said and took a short breath, “I’m part-fairy.” Several gasps echoed in the room followed by whispers of the crowd.

“She’s lying!” your father spat.

“I am not!” You added quickly.

“She’s trying to buy time.”

“I can prove it!” you said desperately. “Use diffindo,” you told one of the people next to you.

“Do not dare to touch my daughter!” your father roared.

You looked around, trying to find Barty or Evan, since you knew neither of them would think twice before hurting you, but they were nowhere to be seen. Worst time to be fucking absent, you thought. No one dared to do it.

“Fine then, bunch of cowards,” you said looking around before bringing your arm to your mouth. You had never done this, but you had practised half transfigurations, you focused all your energy on your mouth and managed to turn your canines into Vixen’s, and then you bit onto your skin and dragged your arm, slicing through it, you didn’t even wince.

“That proves nothing,” Your father said. He was still trying to reach where you were.

“No, it doesn’t,” you responded. You could feel the metallic taste of your bIood in your mouth, you wondered if you looked as deranged as Bella did now. “But this will,” you said and focused your gaze on the cut you’d made, “Revelio.”

A single drop of bIood fell from your arm, everyone witnessed it change colour and clash onto the ground in a shiny, silver drop. There was another collective gasp. Bellatrix cackled and your father looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite pinpoint, a mix of desperation, rage and disappointment.

“Well, well, well,” a voice boomed from the back of the room, “what an interesting little plot twist.” The crowd parted to allow the dark lord to walk towards the centre of the room, he seemed pleasantly entertained. “Silas,” he said as he turned to your dad calmly. “Anything you care to explain?”

You turned to your father, being thankful that everyone’s attention had turned the other way, and looking for someone distracted enough for you to do your next move.

Your father was about to say something but was quickly interrupted by your mother, “He didn’t know! I lied to him.”

Your head snapped back towards them, Why is she–?

“Is that true? Silas?”

Your father stood straighter, looking indifferent. “I had no idea,” he lied blatantly, “I wouldn’t be married if I did.”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit–”

“Silence child,” you were interrupted by the dark lord who was staring at your dad with interest, he hadn’t said the words to the spell, but your tongue was tied, and you couldn’t emit a word anymore either, “the adults are talking.”

You moved towards them when you realised you wouldn’t be able to speak. “Incarcerus,” Tom’s voice boomed and a set of ropes appeared from thin air, binding you to the spot you were currently on. His spell was much stronger than Evan’s had been, it was as if the more you moved the more the ropes tightened around your arms, digging into your skin sharply. Tom turned to your mother. “Elaborate.”

“I met him, I knew he wouldn’t like me if he knew of my heritage so I lied and hid it from him.”

“Well, I find this is the perfect little set-up for you to prove your loyalty,” Tom said with a simple smile. “Torture her.”

What? You thought, head snapping towards your mother sharply, forgetting about the ropes entirely.

Your mother and father exchanged a look, your mom nodded, almost imperceptibly, and then your father raised his wand against her, “Crucio.”

There was a wicked laugh from Bellatrix as your mother sank to the ground and started screaming. You stared at the scene as if petrified. If there was something you had never doubted in the past, it was the love your parents had for each other. How could he– how was it even…

You turned back to the ropes and started to desperately fight against them. When you realised it wasn’t working you went for plan B, you turned into Vixen and jumped as fast as possible, snatching a random wizard’s wand from their hands as you turned back.

Of all the terrible ideas you’d had today, this might have been the worst. You barely had enough control over the spell with your own wand, but you had to do something. You took a deep breath and pointed your wand at Bellatrix, “Pestis Incendium.”

A giant fire exploded out of the tip of the wand you had stolen, prompting the people around you to step back several metres as the fire turned into a massive Chimera. Fiendfyre was a dark and dangerous spell, and you had only practised it in a controlled environment with Nightshade watching your back. But the Chimera you had formed now was bigger and angrier than anything you’d ever created, she was dеadly. The massive winged lion-goat was burning everything in its way as people ran to the sides and attempted to apparate the hell away from the room.

But Evan’s house was charmed against apparitions, a few of them were caught in the fire as they attempted to run, others tried to fight against it, with water spells, but they seemed to do nothing against the angry beast you’d created. The heat quickly filled the room, smoke from burning things wafting through the air and making it harder to see. You searched for your mother, but you couldn’t spot her at all, so you turned back to Nina who was looking at you with an awed struck expression. You picked up a wand from the floor and handed it over to her before helping her up and casting a disillusionment charm around the two of you.

“We need to get out,” you whispered, as you grabbed onto her hand and pulled her along with you. You sped through the running crowds as the curtains and furniture started to catch on fire and remembered you had left Regulus petrified.

You ran towards him, pulling Nina alongside you and finding him still unconscious in the place you’d left him. “Finite Incantatem!” you said and Regulus opened his eyes hastily. He looked around confused and opened his eyes wide when he spotted the giant Chimera behind you, being even more confused when it completely ignored him and turned to the other side. You grabbed onto his arm, leaving traces of bIood over his white shirt, “Get out!”

“What?” he asked, confused.

“I won’t be able to control it for much longer, get out!” you repeated and pushed him towards the window before you pulled Nina to the side again.

She used her wand and started hexing people as you sped through the crowd and toward the window behind the snack area. If you could reach the hedge maze, you’d have enough time to think of a better way to get the hell away from there.

Finally, you spotted your mum again, she was right in front of the Chimera, using relashio in an attempt to slow her down. You raised your want towards your fiendfyre to drag it away from her but there was a spell cast in your direction.

“Stupefy!” Bellatrix said as you fell to the ground, you lost control over the Chimera completely and the beast used one of its paws to crush your mother. You could hear your father’s scream ringing in your ears alongside yours, followed by a sob as tears welled up in your eyes. Bellatrix smiled, “Well, well, well, would you look at that, one little fae gone, and one to go,” she said as she pointed her wand towards you.

You were on the floor, still trying to get a grasp of the situation and attempting to gain control over the Chimera again but it was pointless, she was doing whatever she wanted. Bellatrix smiled and raised her wand towards you, “Avada–”

“Crucio,” Nina shrieked next to you, and Bellatrix instantly fell to the ground, with a cry. Nina’s curse was so strong that the woman continued to scream madly as she pulled onto her hair. “CRUCIO!” Nina repeated. You looked at her in amazement and she gave you a half smile, fear hidden behind her eyes. “She’s not going to touch you ever again,” she reassured and extended her hand your way, you took it and she helped you up. “Ferrum Incarcerus,” she said and suddenly a set of chains bound Bellatrix Lestrange, “Flagrante,” she said next and the woman started to cry in pain as the chains started to heat up and burn. “Call me a Mudblood again, you bitch!” Nina spat, and you recast the disillusionment charm around the both of you.

Clutching to each other you walked all the way to the snack table “Bombarda!” you shouted, the window blew into pieces, and your Chimera went wild, growing wider and wider. You looked back once more, Bellatrix was still crying over the chains. There was a tall man, Cygnus, you assumed, trying to help her out of them, but Nina’s spell was strong and whatever he was doing wasn’t working properly.

You spotted your father clutching the burned remnants of your mom and you stared at the scene almost petrified. You had done that, you had murdered her.

Nina looked at you with tears in her eyes and decided to avoid staring at the pile where she knew her mother’s body would be, focusing on you, and on getting the hell away from that damned hellhole you’d ended up in.

“Come on,” she pulled onto your arm. “We have to go, come on!”

“That–” you said, still looking, the Chimera was bigger now, angrier. “They’re gone.”

“I know,” she said somberly, but then the urgency came back to her, “Come on, they’d want us to get out!” she added as she pulled onto your arm again, this time much stronger, you didn’t move at all. “Hey, look at me!” she added and grabbed your head in between her hands to force you to look at her, Nina might have been younger, but she seemed so much wiser than you at that moment. “This is awful. Things are awful, and it’s unfair. But two things are true: It was not your fault, and we need to get out.”

You tilted your head to the side, she didn’t know, she didn’t know you had ignored her mother’s cries. Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, what a terrible person you were. “Okay,” you managed to say and allowed Nina to pull you alongside her and both of you managed to exit through the window.

The cold was the first thing you noticed, white snow melting into puddles close to the house due to the fire. Messy mud on the floor making the pristine white layer of snow look brown and messy.

There were already Wizards outside, Regulus stood next to his mother and Narcissa, who kept looking inside as if waiting for someone to come out as well. Reggie too was looking around nervously, the last time he saw you, you were still inside and things were chaos.

You took a small stone and threw it towards him, when he turned around you said “Vermillious,” and from the tip of the wand you had stolen, faint red sparks appeared. People weren’t looking your way, and they had been so faint that they were nothing in comparison to the amount of light that came from your blazing Fiendfyre, but you saw Regulus smile and nod your way. You turned to Nina, somehow much more composed than seconds ago. “You like puzzles, don’t you?” you asked her as you nodded towards the hedge maze.

She smiled and gave you a nod, “Let’s get out of here,” she added, and the two of you walked inside. You ran through the maze, staying as close to each other as possible, and jumping from dеad end to dеad end. It truly was a headache, but Nina was as determined to get out as you were, so you followed her lead and continued walking behind her.

“We can’t be too far from the way out, the magic stopping us from apparating is losing power the deeper we go, can you feel it?”

“Yes,” you replied with a smile, and end to the nightmare, finally.

“You can apparate already, right?”

“Kind of,” you replied. “I mean, yes,” you reassured, you’d figure out a way, you’d both get out, you had to.

“Finite incantatem,” someone said when you rounded a corner, and both you and Nina raised your wands against him.

“Would you look at that, charming little butterfly and her mudblood friend,” The man said with a wicked smile, his silver hair flowing behind him. “You really thought you’d get away after causing so much havoc? My fiancé’s father is dеad because of your little ruse.”

“Obscuro,” you spat, ignoring his remark and going straight for defence.

“Protego,” he returned. “Stupefy!”

You blocked his spell with practised ease. “Nina behind me!” you said with determination, “Depulso!”

He blocked as well, “Confringo!”

You ducked and pulled Nina alongside you to the ground. His spell went straight to one of the hedges and things started to heat up, quite literally. The snow surrounding the area behind you melted and mixed with the dirt beneath, making mud similar to the one just outside the house.

Lucius taunted and attacked with increasing ferocity, while you fought desperately to defend both yourself and Nina. Spells flew back and forth, lighting up the night with bursts of magic. With each passing moment, the intensity of the duel escalated, fueled by adrenaline and desperation.

There was constant shouting and blocking. The more time passed and the more time you stood your ground against the man, the angrier he seemed to become. And you were tired, the amount of magic you had used up to conjure the Fiendfyre and the fact that she was still distracting and burning things back at the house, even if out of your control, was draining your energy –and magic– at worrying speeds.

Combining that with the charred image of your mother that you desperately tried to bury in the back of your mind, you felt closer and closer to losing your grip and concentration, but you refused to give in, if there was something that you were, even in cases of life and dеath, was stubborn.

“Getting tired, butterfly?” he asked with a cocky smile when he noticed you had almost tripped on a spell.

“Opugno!” you responded, ignoring his taunting. Suddenly the branches of the hedges seemed to come alive as they went straight to get him.

“Deprimo!” he shouted before the spell hit him, and the floor started to shake, both you and Nina managed to step out of the way, on time, but the hole in the ground had now trapped the two of you in a dеad end.

“Reparo!” you shouted, your previous spell had been strong enough to distract him while you attempted to build the ground back up so you could continue.

“Impedimenta!” he shouted, and you were locked in place. When did he even get out of the hedges?

You tried to focus on shaking the charm off while he pointed his wand at you again. You were tired, but you had fought against Nightshade’s impedimenta several times before, and Lucius’ curse was much weaker. Despite that, the amount of magic you had already used had debilitated you and it seemed to require even more concentration than it had done in the past. That didn’t make it impossible.

You were just getting a grip on the knot of magic that seemed to lock you in place when Lucius smiled, still bound by the hedges but gloating at the way you struggled.

“Stupefy Maxima!” he shouted. You braced yourself to receive the spell, but instead, you felt a push from the side and ended up cornered against one of the hedges as Nina fell to the ground right in front of you.

“Nina!” you shouted and dropped to the ground next to her in an instant, then you saw another spell leave his wand. You stared at the red bolt coming straight at you with watery eyes, thinking of all the things you wouldn’t be able to do, of all the things Nina wouldn’t be able to do because you had failed to save her. Anger and sorrow filled your thoughts as you stared at dеath straight in the eyes.

But she didn’t stare back.

Instead, there was a bright, blinding light that lasted no more than half a second, and Lucius was thrown back against one of the hedges. It was as if his wand had backfired the spell on him. You stared at the scene confused, your bafflement increasing only when you spotted Barty Crouch shooting a stunning spell in Lucius’ direction.

You turned back to Nina as the two of them fought the other, “Nina,” you said softly as you placed your hands around her face, her cheeks were cold but there was something gooey and warm behind her hair. As you pulled your hand back to look at it better you realised what it was. You shook your head and as you stared. “No, no, no, no...” you repeated over and over again as you leaned down only to realise she had fallen onto a sharp rock. “No, no… Nina, look at me,” you said, voice wavering.

Her weary gaze turned to you, her eyelids were heavy and tired, but she smiled faintly when she saw you. “You’re okay,” she sighed.

“No, no, no,” you repeated, tears already blurring your sight as you stared at her.

“Go!” she said softly, reassuringly.

“No!” you said again, voice cracking near the end.

She nodded soothingly, “It’s okay, you have to go.”

“Nina, please!” you begged. “We can do something, we can find a way to–”

“Go,” she interrupted you calmly, more secure now. “You’re all right,” she said and smiled, “I can go happy knowing you’ll be alright.”

“You can’t! I won’t leave, not without you,” you replied stubbornly, shaking your head as you said it.

“You can’t stop her now, the bargain’s made, the deal’s done,” she said simply.

“No, please,” you said as you leaned onto her chest and allowed the tears to stream down your face, the girl somehow managed to place her hand over your hair and played with some of the strands with the little strength she had left.

“You know… I’ve been bles-sed,” she said, her breath caught in her throat. “Blessed that you were the last thing I got to see,” she added with a smile, “thank you for saving me.”

You felt her hand go limp over your head and you heard the last beat of her heart boom against your ear. “No!” you cried and stood back up to look at her. She had a pleased and peaceful expression on her face, contrasting completely with her stained blonde hair, and the rapidly changing colour of snow, no longer white, but scarlet. “Rennervate,” you said pointing the wand at her. Nothing. “Rennervate,” you repeated, tears streaming down your cheeks. “Rennervate, Rennervate, Rennervate.”

“Stop it!” you heard Barty say from behind you.

“Rennervate!” you said again, completely disregarding the boy.

“Hey! You need to get out of here, people are coming.”

“I don’t care!” You snapped. And turned back “RENNERVATE!”

“You’re going to diе too! Her sacrifice would be for nothing!”

“Go to hell!” You responded. You felt him trying to pull you away from her. “Get your filthy hands off me!”

“Re- rennervate,” you repeated, it was more a whisper than anything else, a desperate cry, a futile attempt to cling onto something that wasn’t there anymore, that wouldn’t be there no matter what you did. Perhaps you had used up your magic, it was a stunning spell, not a kiIling curse.

But it had also been the fall, and the rock.

“Listen to me!” Barty said as he hauled you up by pushing you against one of the hedges. “She’s gone, and if you don’t move, you’ll be the same! Your stupid spell will do nothing to bring her back!”

“She’s my friend!” you shouted angrily as you tried to pry his hands away from your arms. But Barty was still stronger than you. “She’s my friend, and she’s struggling because of me. I won’t give up on her!”

“THERE IS NOTHING TO GIVE UP ON! SHE’S FUCKING DЕAD!”

Rage filled your gaze as you managed to focus on him again, you tried to push him off of you again, this time with much more determination. When he realised, he smiled and loosened his grip.

“What?” you asked in disbelief.

“Wrath is more useful than desperation,” he retorted. “You need to get out of here.”

You gave one last look at Nina, her pleased expression made her look as if she was sleeping, soft and simple and happy. Could you trick your brain into thinking she was just sleeping if you tried hard enough?

You turned back to Barty wearily, “Why– why are you helping me?” you asked with a wavering voice, emotions raw and unfiltered at this point.

“Evan told me what you did for him. He’s taking care of Lucius and I’m much better at apparating than him.”

You swallowed, distrusting, and turned to the side, Evan was indeed in the distance, performing some kind of spell on the man that had murdered Nina. Your mind was spinning with conflicting emotions. You wanted to lash out, to scream and rage against the unfairness of it all. But there was no use, Nina was dеad and no matter how much you cried about it, you wouldn’t bring her back.

“Look! If it makes you feel better you can hit me–” His words were cut short as your fist connected to his face. “Fuck! I’m trying to help you!” he winced as he reached for his nose. Your fist stung, but clearly, his face did just as much.

“You’ve been an asshole to me for months.”

“And I’m trying to do a good deed, bIoody hell!” he replied with a frown, you glared in return. “Come on, we need to get out.”

“I don’t want to!” You said in a stubborn whisper, you wanted to lean against her and cry until the snow covered both of your bodies and you could forget about it all.

“But she wanted you to,” he replied, there was bIood streaming down his nose, but there was an honesty in his gaze that you didn’t think Barty was capable of. “Allow me to help make her last wish true.”

You swallowed, giving the boy one more weary look, “Can you try?”

“Try?” he asked, confused. He was trying.

“To save her.”

“It’s pointless, if you couldn’t do it–”

“My magic’s weak,” you admitted, despite yourself, it didn’t matter anymore, you didn’t care if Barty or Evan used it against you as long as Nina came back.

The boy sighed, clearly thinking it was pointless, but leaned down next to Nina either way “Rennervate!” he said steadily.

Seconds passed by, agonisingly slow but nothing happened.

You let out a defeated breath, your mind was suddenly empty. You realised if you didn’t want to end up like her, you’d have to pull yourself together somehow. Barty tried again, even if you didn’t ask him, but the result was the same. You placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Fine, let’s get out,” you said with a nod. Barty stood up and you tighten your grip around the wand you were holding, taking in a deep breath before pointing it at Nina. “Papilioscorpus,” you said, focusing all of your attention on that one spell.

Suddenly Nina’s body transformed into a heap of small blue butterflies. You held back the sob that threatened to escape by sucking in a breath as the small creatures broke off Nina’s body, one by one until there was no more of her, but hundreds of them.

How unfair it was, that Nina had to diе because she wasn’t a pureblood, you thought, even if Nina would disagree. She didn’t diе because she wasn’t a pureblood wizard, she didn’t diе because they tortured her to dеath, she didn’t diе weak and defenceless and in despair, you had spared her from that fate. No, Nina diеd to save you, and she was pleased with the choice she’d made, simply because she wouldn’t want to live in a world where you didn’t exist.

They flew up, circling you for a second before continuing their path, way above the hedges, and leaving behind the bIoodstained snow in search of somewhere warm.

Barty turned to you with a soft expression and then raised his wand to the butterflies, “Irascor,” he said simply. A protective charm, so they would be safe, even if Nina hadn’t been.

“Thank you,” you managed to mumble, as you saw them leave, not allowing yourself to wallow in the hopelessness you felt at such a stunningly beautiful sight. The snow-covered landscape, the stars shining above in the sky, the small snowflakes falling softly on the ground, all contrasted deeply with how you felt, how broken and in pain you were. You blinked back the tears and turned back to him.

He nodded and cocked his head to the side, indicating you to follow him. It was slow at first, steps into a different direction, away from the bIood, now being covered by a fresh layer of snow, away from Evan and unconscious Lucius.

Eventually, Barty started to pick up speed and you matched his pace, a welcome heat to the cold that had now chilled your bones. The dress you had, while long-sleeved, wasn’t exactly snow-friendly. Your heels long forgotten, left as you took faster and faster steps. The white cool of snow against your heels, helping you focus on anything other than all the previous events.

Barty seemed to know exactly where he was going, and you followed him blindly. The traces of your steps had been long erased by the constant falling snow. If he was leading you to safety or back to the house, what difference did it make at this point?

But then you felt it: the barriers against apparating were gone. “Where should I take you?” He asked softly, softer than you’d expect him to, the two of you breathing heavily as you tried to catch your breath.

You blinked, looking around like a lost puppy. You had no mother, your father was a deatheater or something, and your home was probably not yours anymore –not that it had felt like one in the last few years. “I have nowhere to go,” you said the words as you realised their weight.

Barty sighed, he knew what it was like to not belong. To feel lonely and forgotten and like he had to be outstanding to be cared for, to be worthy. He knew what it was to have no place to call home, but he had Evan now. He knew what that felt like, and for the first time since he’d met you, he empathised with you. “Sirius?” he offered, he might not like him, but he knew Sirius was as special to you as Evan was to him.

“He’s with the Potters, you cannot apparate there, you don’t know where it is… It would be too dangerous, for the both of us,” you said steadily, emotionlessly, trying to cling to your analytical side. If you blocked the emotions threatening to boil out of you, if you hid them so deep within your mind that they wouldn’t bother you then perhaps you’d be able to keep moving.

“Secret hideout?”

“I–” then you remembered. “School! Take me to Hogwarts!”

“You can’t apparate there…” he said with a frown. Hogwarts was a brilliant idea though, it would certainly be safer.

“No, but, you can apparate on the Shrieking Shack! You’ve done it before.”

“You want me to take you back, there?” he asked, disbelief laced in his tone.

“Yeah!” you said with a confident nod.

“Are you… sure?” he asked again, perhaps the emotional toll of the night was getting to you.

“Yes! I can get to the castle from there,” you repeated.

He looked at you as if analysing the situation, you seemed pretty sure of yourself, so he nodded, grabbing onto your arm and pulling you closer, Barty was as tall as you, still growing, so you assumed he’d be taller. You ended up hugging each other in the most awkward way possible (a weird sort of hug where neither of you seemed to want to touch each other) before he apparated just outside the shack.

You felt a sense of relief when you spotted the snow-coated building. You had made it this far, against all odds. But was it worth it? With how much it had cost?

Barty gave you one last look, “Can I have the wand?” he asked in a relatively polite tone as he pointed to the wand in your hand. He was being considerate, even for his standards.

“Pardon?” You asked as your grip on the wand tightened.

“I’m going to say I tried to stop you but you apparated away, you’re talented for your age so it’s believable enough. Evan is obliviating Lucius. We’ll try to get your actual wand back–”

“Nina’s,” you said as you handed him the one in your hand. He frowned. “Get Nina’s wand, it’s more important.”

“Why?”

“I can buy another wand, but she… she can’t,” you said, trying not to let your features betray the emotions you felt.

“But it’ll be useless to–” You gave him a mix between a pleading look and a glare, and he stopped his words, “we’ll try,” he conceded.

You smiled weakly, “Thanks.” He was about to leave. “Wait!” you stopped him, a hand on his shoulder, he turned to you, movements soft and calm, he knew you were on edge. “Priori incantatem, they will know you tried to bring Nina back if they check.”

“Give me the wand,” you said and he did as told. “Now take it.”

“Expelliarmus,” he said and the wand you had stolen flew from your hand to his, he caught it in the air with ease. It was surprising how fast he’d caught on to what you meant, but you already knew Barty was brilliant, even if he used said brilliance for evil deeds more often than not.

“And now stun me.”

“What? Are you daft? I’m trying to save you,” he protested with a frown.

“And this is my way of thanking you, you put up a fight against me. Stun me softly if you will–”

“Stupefy!”

Your body reeled back against the gate and ended up on the floor. It had been soft, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Either way, the physical pain was a welcome distraction from the grief that threatened to consume you whole.

“Payback for punching me in the face,” Barty said with a smile as he offered his hand. He was joking.

You scoffed and pushed his hand away, deciding that sitting on the snow was comfortable enough. “Get the hell out before I punch you again.”

His smile only grew wider and he had the nerve to send you a wink before he apparated again. You stared at the empty space he’d left for a while, there was snow all around. Falling and falling in a stunningly, slumbery sort of way. So peaceful and quiet in comparison to how loud and hectic things had been just seconds ago. Even your heartbeat, which had been blasting against your ears, was slowing down.

You stared at the cold white snow, and let your head fall back onto the gate as one of your hands fell on it, pulling some of it up and staring at the way it fell from your fingers lazily. You remembered playing in the snow with the boys, how happy you had been that day, you wondered if you could ever be that happy again.

Ah… how tired did you feel, things were calm now, you weren’t in danger anymore, you sank deeper into the ground, adrenaline dissipating with ease and exhaustion washing over you in waves. You closed and opened your eyes wearily.

The shack, why did you have to get to the shack? You wondered, everything was so peaceful where you were, you liked it, the cold of the snow soothingly numbing the pain, all the pain, not just the physical one. You let a faint smile coat your lips, who’s that in the distance? You wondered, it looked like someone you knew, but paler. Could it be… Nina?

And then you closed your eyes.

And so we grace another table And raise our glasses one more time There's a face at the window And I ain't never, never sayin' goodbye…

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: This chapter is getting shadowbanned no matter what I change so please like, reblog and comment so it does not go under the radar. They're only flyin' too close to the sun

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krashoutluv · 3 months

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Ur writing makes me emotional im literally writhing on the floor jason let me take care of u bbg 😭 can u write smth ab him letting his s/o take care of him after a rough patrol? Can be sfw or nsfw

HEHEHEHE THANK YOU ANON!! I GOTT YOUUU

im so proud of this it took long but im literally writing this at 3:49 AM bc of the idea that popped up in my half asleep brain

Taking care of ak!Jason Todd after patrol!! (SFW FLUFFY FIC)

Night after night, Jason Todd would come home to you. Sometimes bloodied and bruised, sometimes frustrated and annoyed, sometimes his feet were dragging and his whole body ached. Tonight he slipped through your apartment window, smooth jazz played so lightly it took him a second to register it. A light in the dining room was on. He could’ve just showered to let the running water tell you he was home, and be greeted with your presence when he came out. But, tonight his eyelids were heavy and his body felt empty. Like a lost ghost, he longed for something that gave him a peace to rest his lamenting spirit. Jason wandered to you, it was second nature at times, he found you sitting at the dinner table working on your laptop.

Your gaze flicked upwards, the red of his helmet catching your eyes. “Welcome back!” You said warmly. Almost in an instant his body felt full, heavy, like he was about to melt into a puddle right then and there.

“Hey.” The helmets voice scrambler hid Jason’s mellowed tone. Slightly frowning underneath it because of its harsh manner, he promptly took it off. After sliding the cold metal off his head, his eyes met yours. You were smiling tenderly at him. Jason drifted toward you, when he got close he felt like his whole body would’ve dropped to your feet and he could in a dormant rest for centuries. As long as you stayed there of course. Hardly noticed how close he stood over you until he felt himself moving down to kiss your cheek. Jason stopped himself, “Can I?” he whispered to you feebly. You nodded to him with that warm smile he longed for desperately. Jason pressed his cold lips to your cheekbone, the sensation of your skin soothed that longing feeling. He pressed another one firmly, helplessly trying to quarrels his yearning soul. Jason caught himself, skin flushed as he dragged himself away.

A sigh escaped his lips and he started turning away,” Would you like one too?” He fixated himself back on you, you were still looking at him lovingly, your finger pressed against your lips, waiting for his response.

Wordlessly he bowed his head back toward you, turning his head for you to kiss his unbranded cheek. Jason wasn’t ready for you to touch that side of him so directly. He didn’t want you to meet the oily black hate, the only other thing that touched his heart, his longing, his ache as comfortingly as you did. The discomfort seeped from him when he felt your plush lips meet his skin, it wasn’t quick, not too long either. In Jason’s mind it was perfection, it made that tar that stuck in his veins seem like a pathetic substitute. It made his breath heavy, all but burdened with a swollen heart. It made him feel untouchable, not in his brutal norm but in a heavenly stillness. It made him scared. That you could take care of him, not just when his body bled but when you filled something enigmatically empty inside him. Something that he could only fill with that hate that he clutched onto like a boy to his mother.

Jason lugged himself away from you. He wasn’t sure what would hurt him more and he wasn’t ready to find out. He sat across from you pressing his callous palms against his face.

“Bad night?”

“Mhm. Something like that.”

“Need anything?” He already got it.

“No.”

He would be lying if he were to say he wouldn’t wish to a star like a child, asking for your ease indefinitely.

i love him☹️

#arkham knight x reader #jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #arkham knight x gn!reader #jason todd x gn!reader #red hood x gn!reader #arkham knight x you #jason todd x you #red hood x you #|| 🪼krash responds to u #🪼krash writes fanfic #🪼krash rambles about ak!jason todd #skullkidwithsunglasses

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mvltisstuff · 7 months

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Heyy, i love your fics so michh, can u make Buck x reader, they have a newborn girl and reader is stressed because the baby won't stop crying and buck helps her. Take your time!💋

close to you - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif

a/n: this is such a great idea, and i’m so happy you asked me to execute it <3 madeline is also inspired by the name maddie, as i feel like that’s so cute for buck :((

madeline was a gift from the moment y/n took time off work because of her pregnancy. she was a gift the moment they decided on a name. she was a gift the moment she entered the world in the small hospital room.

however, y/n despised herself for thinking part of it was a curse. she loved her daughter more than anything in the world despite the short amount of weeks that she had arrived. buck had gone back to work, but y/n needed more time to recover from the birth. she got the pleasure of staying home with her baby, and she genuinely thought so.

it wasn’t until the constant screams came through madeline’s mouth that y/n started to get more and more tensed. her head was pounding, her body was sore and she just wanted to give her baby peace.

she felt like the worst mother in the world, not being able to comfort or secure her baby girl. she figured it would come naturally. in reality, it’s never been harder.

she cried when she was hungry, needed a diaper change, sleepy, or she just cried. it seemed like it was always that she just cried and screamed. it burned in y/n’s ear painfully as she listened to the squeals of her daughter. she just wanted her to be happy, and buck wasn’t there to help.

“mad, please.” y/n begged when her eyes started to water again, and the quiet squeaks left her baby’s soft cheeks. “i’m so sorry, i want to help you.”

y/n sighed as she rocked the baby in her arms, the bags under her eyes only getting darker as she stayed up with madeline. buck was exhausted when he came home, so he just went to sleep. y/n was fine with that as he did everything he could for his girls, all the time.

she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss buck every hour.

he had some type of paternal magic to him that eased madeline. it brought her down to earth, and it gave y/n time to relax. her hormones were all over to place. every time her baby cried, it flooded her body was sadness and exhaustion. she was deeply jealous of buck secretly because of the ease he seemed to have with handling their child.

“hey, dad,” hen smiled, seeing buck walk back into the station after a few weeks with his wife and baby alone. “how’s y/n and the baby?”

“they’re good, i feel so bad leaving them though.”

“it’s hard to leave, that’s the last thing i wanted to do when we first got denny.”

“it’s just- i talk to you about anything, right?”

“of course, buck! what makes you say that, though.”

“madeline cries a lot, and i can just tell in y/n’s face that somethings wrong. i mean, i get that babies cry, but it just seems like it’s taking a huge toll on y/n. i don’t want her thinking she’s a bad mom, and if what happened to maddie happens to her,” buck thinks back to his sister, who went to hell and back trying to be a better mom for jee-yun. it breaks his heart to even consider y/n feeling left in the dark the same way. “i can’t handle that.”

“listen, buck,” hen lands a hand on his shoulder. “it’s going to be ok. you could even go for a little longer off work, you came back really soon.”

“y/n said it’d be good for us, and make me happier.”

“but is it making things easier? you both need to be doing this together. y/n’s saying a lot of stuff she doesn’t mean, and her mind is running at a 100 miles an hour.”

“i know,” buck says. “i’m gonna see her after the shift, i’ll talk to bobby. see what i can do.”

y/n continued to pace around the kitchen for hours, her lower back beginning to ache and her ears hurting from the wails of the baby in her arms. she tried everything from feeding her to rocking her in her swing, but nothing seemed to stop the cries of her daughter.

“madeline, please, i’m begging you,” y/n whines, practically on her knees for her child to stop crying.

the cries quickly started to blend in, y/n realizing that they’ll never go away. she wasn’t sick or anything, y/n repeatedly checked, but madeline still was just simply unhappy. and, y/n swore she was the problem.

buck arrived home late in the night, hours past dinner and inching closer to the bedtime of their casual family. when he opened the door, he just knew that y/n was in there with their baby, struggling to hang on and fix the problem.

“y/n?” he calls out, wandering around their home and finally landing in the nursery. the light purple walls and decorations were darkened, y/n and madeline sitting in the chair together. y/n’s shirt had been pulled down so she was able to feed madeline, but it seemed like no use. the baby in her arms was still weeping and throwing her tiny hands around. “oh, y/n.”

her blank expression told it all, along with the dark bags under her eyes. “she’s so upset, buck, i don’t know what to do.” y/n murmurs slightly over the cries of the baby.

“it’s ok, honey, we’re gonna figure it out.” y/n’s eyes just water with each tear that drops from madeline’s eyes. “no, no, it’s okay, y/n.”

“i’m sorry, i’m just so tired.”

“i know, i’m here now. we can fix this, okay?” y/n swipes under her eyes, taking in sharp breaths and trying to steady herself. “hey, honey, listen to me. you’re ok, madeline’s ok, i’m ok. we’ll be alright.

she nods as his arm touches her side, the baby wrapped in his other arm. “alright. why don’t you hold her, and i’m gonna go see if our noise machine is here yet.”

buck rustles through packages and gifts from their baby shower and tries to find anything that might help their girl sleep, and anything that will bring relief to y/n.

“i found it! it’ll be white noise, which we should’ve tried sooner. i don’t know if it’ll work, but it won’t hurt to try.”

buck allowed y/n to place the baby in her crib, letting her tiny body rest against the soft mattress. they turned the lights off and plugged in the machine, which sang out the staticky white noise that calmed their daughter.

her crying started to come to a halt after a bit of hearing the noise, her adorable little eyes shutting after a bit to finally rest. y/n could feel her whole body relax under seeing her baby finally sleep, as it had felt like days.

she felt like crying, she felt like sleeping, but she also felt like she had so much to do. the house was a mess, her baby had finally gotten to sleep, but she also wanted to sleep. it felt like one thing after another, and buck looked over again to see a y/n staring at the ground.

“what’s the matter? talk to me, y/n.”

“i’m not cut out for this,” her shaky voice comes out, his hands on the sides of her arms.

“what? of course you are!”

“i can barely manage to keep this house together, let alone keep our baby happy and i haven’t even been able to go back to work! i feel like shit and i just want to be happy with my baby, but i don’t even know if she’s happy and-“

“alright, i know,” she allows herself to fall into bucks grasp, as he worries silently for her in his mind. he can feel the exhaustion venting off her body, begging for sleep and somewhere to lay in peace and quiet. “i don’t want you worrying about anything else. let’s go to sleep, and i’m gonna help you, i promise. i’m never leaving either of your sides.”

his arms warmly grasp her body clad in a soft set. he leads her to their shared bed, pulling the blankets out and holding her as she finally gets her deserved sleep.

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 8 months

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Hiii, this is my first time requesting a Miguel fic😭😭😭 nervous

so like hurt/comfort where spider-woman reader was a mother and losing her child (preferably a daughter) was one of her cannon events.

Shes watching old videos on her phone/laptop where her kids kind of like, standing on her feet and they're dancing together to my love mine all mine by mistki (her new album destroyed me) and Miguel walks in and just watches.

Miguel gets caught staring at the videos but instead of telling him to leave she asks him to stay because she knows hes been through something similar. They're just watching old videos of her kid and then they eventually move onto talking about Gabi too.

im a sucker for friends/coworkers to lovers so maybe add a little lovey dovey smut at the end if you want <333

rlly sorry if this is a bit much i just had to get this out of my smooth little brain😭😭😭

hii!! AAA I love it!! but really sorry, no smut in this one :(( I had too many ideas but I had a total brain fart writing this. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

—

OF THE PAST

miguel o’hara x spider-woman!reader

word count: 550

warnings: mentions of death, grief etc

✧.┊ MASTERLIST

Grief and loss aren't uncommon emotions for a Spider-Person. They were feelings all Spiders experienced at one point- all of you connected by a singular canonical death.

For many others, their event was the death of Uncle Ben, but not you. Yours was your daughter- your little love who 'mistakenly' got caught in the crossfire.

Not many Spiders could resonate with the grief of losing a child, nor could one imagine the weight of it. It's a feeling that can truly be understood by those who have experienced the same thing, by someone who had also lost a child.

There was only one who could comprehend your grief, Miguel.

You'd often find yourself rewatching old family tapes of you and your daughter, replaying the clips over and over as if the memories weren't painful enough.

You'd essentially watch your life back, looking over videos and pictures of you and your little girl- times when you baked cupcakes, or had secret picnics in the backyard. Beautiful moments where you danced in the living room, her tiny feet balanced on yours as you held her hands, spinning her around to the music.

When you watched it back, you couldn't recognise yourself. The woman in the videos isn't here anymore. She was long gone, and you missed her.

You were still at HQ, not wanting to return to an empty home, so you stayed, sitting in the vacant cafeteria as you stared aimlessly at your phone, honing in on the tiny writing at the top of the screen, '1 year ago today.'

"You can sit down," you whisper to the presence behind -Miguel- who has been lurking for the past few minutes.

"What gave it away?" he quietly asks, pulling out a chair next to you.

"Your heart," you sadly smile at him and turn your focus back to your phone.

The subject of child loss is always incredibly tricky, never knowing what to say or constantly worrying if you said the wrong thing. It's hard to gauge what does more harm to the parent, and though Miguel is dealing with a similar situation, he still found himself at a loss.

"I do that too," he finally speaks, nodding to your hand. "It feels good for a bit, then it just..."

"Hurts some more," you finish his sentence, weakly chuckling.

"Yeah," he nods, twisting around in his chair to face you. "Can I see?"

You hum, lightly nodding as you press her photo album, turning it so Miguel could see.

You swipe through with tears prickled in your eyes, looming in the water line as you smile at the screen.

"This one," you speak up, clearing your throat. "She— uh, she got into my makeup bag," you laugh, recalling the memory. "And she— erm, she stained her face for a few days. Looked like a panda for a while."

Miguel chuckles, fully immersed in your story. "Gabi did that, too. But she," his smile widens, shaking his head. "Found high heels and dresses."

"Mine too," you snicker, showing him the picture of your daughter playing adult dress up.

You both stay like that for a while, sharing stories and memories of your daughters, recalling comical events to lighten the atmosphere. The pair of you telling tales in a way that connects you.

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

artwork by shuploc

#request #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o’hara drabble #miguel o’hara angst #miguel o’hara fluff #miguel spiderverse #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel x reader #miguel atsv

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anundyingfidelity · 27 days

Text

I'M A RUIN — Soldier Boy/Ben (Part VII)

Series summary: After the events of the Seven Tower, you present Grace Mallory a new secret project you're working on already to develop a cure to Compound V. The only problem? You need Soldier Boy for that.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.

Word count: 3.2k.

Warnings for series: set after S3 (spoilers), some OOC!Ben, some depressed!Ben, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, slow-burn, language, PTSD, reader has Compound V (she's no Vought supe tho), Soldier Boy being an usual asshole, reader is a fucking liar.

Warnings on this chapter: sexual tension, suggestive stuff.

Notes: bonding chapter of this slow burn aaaa thanks again for reading :D

this fic tags: @k-slla @syrma-sensei @mostlymarvelgirl @cheynovak @drasticemotions @soldirboy @deans-spinster-witch

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

get yourself in the taglist!

GEN MASTERLIST! — SERIES MASTERLIST!

Part VII: No More Doubts

When you left the motel early after a quick and dull breakfast, Ben was a pain in the ass as he kept asking question after question on the road. You knew he could just leave you alone but it wasn’t really something you’d like him to do. He was a fugitive, so were you. Soldier Boy knew better than that and he only had to stay by your side as much as he hated the idea. The only thing you could truly answer was that you were driving to a safer place. At least you were hoping it was. When you pulled the car after driving hours between the grove, Soldier Boy was waking up from his nap. You thanked heaven for that.

“We’re here,” you announced, turning off the engine.

Ben stirred on his seat, taking in the view of the house and nature and got out of your car, following you to the front door. He couldn’t help but to look around in somewhat awe. It was a large cottage-style house decorated with earth tones, great walls and columns. The place was surrounded by countless trees, making the weather bearable and somewhat nice due to the hidden location. The leaves climbed on some of the windows and the plants and flowers rested on the ground perfectly neat. He assumed you came here often. But it wasn’t really the place you used to come by and sleep every single day. It was too far away from the facility. As you unlocked the door, Ben followed inside, not without taking a last glance at your surroundings. No homes were near, nothing was to be seen. Only you and him inside this big fucking house.

The indoors were no different from the impression he got first. The decoration, the expensive sofa where you threw the sports bag, and the paintings and pots all over the place were saying you were rich. Of course, a fucking rich whore you were, he thought to himself. And he wondered where your real place was located.

“So, I’m gonna show you a guest room and then around, please don’t screw my house,” you said, giving him the sports bag.

“Got something to drink?” he asked, a smirk plastering on his face as he stepped closer to where you were standing.

“Water I do.”

Ben chuckled for a bit, eyes not leaving your face. “You’re so fucking boring, you know?”

“Yeah, well, alcohol is not really an important supply. Just follow me and maybe I’ll get you some later,” you said, turning around to get to the stairs.

You knew he did as you asked when his big steps echoed around the place. Once you were on the second floor, you motioned him to the next room a couple of feet away from yours and gave him directions about the bathroom and the manners. If he was going to be in your place, then he had to behave.

“I told you already, I’m not a fucking animal,” he complained after hearing your orders.

“Sure,” you dragged the word, eyes narrowed. “Because last night you were so civilized in the bathroom.”

He scoffed and then chuckled. “Did I get too loud?”

“You fucking tell me,” you replied with a much annoying smile on your face to match his own.

“Could’ve joined me. We’re not patient and doctor anymore,”

“No.”

Just as the last word fell off your lips, your phone rang. Quickly you took the call, realizing it was Grace. You left Soldier Boy in his room and walked down the stairs a little too fast.

“You made it?” she asked on the other line.

“Yeah, arrived just minutes ago,” you answered, checking the stairs in case he followed. “Where are you, Grace?”

“That doesn’t matter. I have something for you.”

“Okay, tell me.”

“I will text you an address and an hour. Today. Don’t miss it.”

Your phone buzzed, announcing the information had arrived.

“I won’t.”

“I’ll keep calling through different phone numbers. Do what you have to do to complete the cure,” she said, like if she knew what was happening between both now.

Soldier Boy was unbearable but you had to keep him on track. Luckily, you were back home again and you’ll be working on the Anti V soon, praying the last bits of information and results of the last test were there for some reason.

“I’m doing my best,” you sighed.

Grace hummed.

“Good.”

“Any updates so far?”

Ben’s smooth voice woke you up from your daydreaming while you sat together in the dining room.

You had been able to make something quick for lunch after Grace called and you found yourself all jittery and tense, hoping Soldier Boy wouldn’t notice. But he did sense something different from you. So he kept insisting on what was going on.

“I don’t know,” you whispered, taking the last sip of water from your glass. You avoided his eyes, looking away.

He rolled his eyes and narrowed at you. “Has your office contacted you?”

You shook your head.

“So they’re dead,” he said. Not asking, but affirming it.

A heavy sigh left your lips, your eyes going back to his harsh ones. “Leaving was the best.”

“Who’s that you keep in touch with?”

“What?”

Ben groaned slightly before snapping back with a low voice. “C’mon, Y/N. You called yesterday on the road, and now you receive a call. Who the fuck is it?”

His question is not just an inquiry anymore. He’s demanding to know. But you also know he hated Grace Mallory for putting him to sleep again, confined to a chamber where he’d be a trophy for the government to do whatever they wanted, how they wanted. Until you appeared, offering him empty words. Just like everyone.

“My superior.”

Your answer hit him like a truck. He knew it was Grace, but he didn’t like hearing it from you.

The truth was, Ben didn’t like you… Not that much. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes he wanted to kill you, sometimes the small common sense he still had on his head would say you’d be better alive. He had been thinking of going away, but not he didn’t really want to. He knew you had been working with Grace, he was no idiot. So maybe staying close should get him even closer to Homelander and Vought. He also thought of Ryan back in the cell you had put him in. He was so damn afraid Ryan would become like his father. And since the brat has been protected before by many people, finding would not be easy. That’s where your contacts and network would be a help to him. He was hoping to find something at your place to find them and the information he craved.

“Right,” he said, alarmingly calm and quiet. He took the last bite of pasta on the plate and swallowed down in silence under your gaze. You didn’t know what else to say.

“So, these powers of yours,” he continued, drinking the last sip of juice. “How’d you get them?”

“Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged. “I mean, they’re pretty fucking useless against me,” his words made you chuckle. Of course you knew that. “But I’m just wondering if you’d be with them.”

Your face turned back to a somber demeanor. “The Seven?”

He gave you a nod.

“Well, it’s not like all supes dream of that,” you uttered. “I just wanted to be normal.”

Ben raised a brow at your sudden confession. “Someone exploded everyone’s heads at the CIA. Sorry to say, sweetheart, but you suck at being normal.”

“Yeah, details I have to work with.”

“I take it you never went to them,” he continued and saw confusion on your face. “Vought.”

The word made you shudder for a slight moment, and you quickly tried to collect yourself to avoid him noticing.

“No, I never did.”

He scrutinized your eyes, hearing the poor increase of your heartbeats. They were enough to tell him something was wrong. But he decided to play along, so he nodded and gave you a rather compassionate look.

“Must be thankful they didn’t fuck up your life then.”

He had no idea.

You had parked the car outside an abandoned gas station; it was one of the nearest grocery stores to your home years ago. The now wasteland was almost two hours away, with a gas station around ten miles elsewhere. You had been waiting for Grace outside the car, leaning against the hood. Bored, you checked your phone again. When you arrived it was already past three o’clock. When twenty minutes went by, you wanted so badly to drive and get inside the next store you see and buy yourself food and supplies enough to survive a week or two with the idiotic supe now staying at your home. Grace said would be calling through a different phone but you received no calls so far. You’ve been waiting for more than an hour and the drive home wasn’t going to be shorter. Suddenly another car came into sight, pulling over near yours. Two men came out of it.

“Doctor Y/N?”

The stranger with the unknown voice and a weird accent caught your attention. Soon, you found the two tall men standing in front of you in the parking lot.

“We’re here on behalf of Grace Mallory,” the man continued.

He wore a long dark trench coat, looking rough and intimidating. The total opposite to the younger one, who gave you a kind smile once your eyes settled on him.

“How-”

“We have something for you,” the younger man continued. “I’m Hughie. Hughie Campbell,” he introduced himself, giving you a hand and fixing the backpack on his shoulder with the other one. You took it after a moment of hesitation. “He’s Billy Butcher, we’ve worked with Grace before.”

You nodded. “I thought she was the one coming.”

“She’s not in shape for that,” Billy answered. He realized your face changed at his words and quickly explained himself. “Vought’s cunts are looking for her, not safe.”

“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. “Great, awesome. So what do you have for me?”

“We, uhm, we made it to your facility and thought these could do some help,” Hughie took out a pouch and gave it to you.

With trembling hands you opened the pouch and sighed in relief. Five test tubes of the Anti V prototype were laid there. “You found them.”

“And we found a little bit more,” Butcher continued. “Victoria Neuman exploded the heads of your employees back there. We believe Vought had been sneaking and getting spies for themselves.”

“Victoria is a supe,” you voiced out. “A supe is running for vice president…”

“Yeah, long story,” Hughie commented. “She’s obviously linked with Homelander and Vought. Everyone was dead when we arrived; lab assistants, guards, agents, the supes… We believe her mission was to just let you and Soldier Boy out, besides stealing information about the cure you’re working on. Probably to give it to Vought.”

“Anything weird happen there before the attack?” Billy asked, not giving you time to swallow Hughie’s words.

“Uhm, yeah. Actually my lab assistant… She tried to warn me and, well, she was crying and asking me to leave. I didn’t know why until her head just- you know…”

You choked a little with your words. The picture of her body and the last seconds of her life were all you got. Everything was equally horrible that day.

“I’m sorry,” Hughie whispered.

“It’s fine,” you cleared your throat. “And I assume you didn’t find anything else? Information? Files?”

“Computers were destroyed. No files. No info. Nothing,” Butcher answered. “Grace says you’re the leader of the project. You have copies, right?”

“Why everybody keeps fucking asking me that? Of course I do!” you almost yelled, eyes full of rage staring at him.

“Easy there, doc,” Butcher lifted up his hands in surrender. “We just wanna get rid of those cunt supes as much as you want. Nothing wrong to make sure.”

“Well, I do have them,” you replied with a cocky smile. “Thank you very much for your concern, Adele.”

Butcher rolled his eyes, sharing a look with Hughie before switching his attention back to you.

“Yeah, sure you do, luv.”

It was already seven o’clock when you arrived home with supplies and food. Ben, as usually, acted like a fucking caveman claiming he was hungry and you had to act like the housewife, serving him a fucking hamburger and a glass of wine. That was the only liquor you bought. Despite his complaints, his hunger was greater and he devoured the greasy food with no table manners at all.

“You could chew your food like a fucking human being, you know,” you said, eating the last french fries you had.

He turned his eyes to your face, pointing with his finger. “You were gone for like five hours.”

“So? There’s fruit in the fridge.”

Ben narrowed his gaze, like if he had been offended.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to serve something for yourself,” you teased. He didn’t say a word, and you giggled. “That’s fucking pathetic.”

He leaned towards the dining table, eyes locked on yours. “No, you just don’t know your fucking place, woman.”

“I just saved your life, Ben. At least say thanks,” you beamed, having too much fun by seeing him upset for mundane things.

“No, you didn’t.”

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your wine. “Fine. I didn’t. Let’s go past this and start over. If you’re gonna live here, for now, then you’ll have to learn how to respect me.”

His brows raised. “I thought I already did.”

“Offering yourself to fuck me in a cheap motel is not respectful, Soldier Boy.”

“Well, I didn’t try anything, did I?” Ben finished his sentence at the same time he finished his dinner.

He waited for a smart comeback from you but it never came. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and a stupid grin appeared on his lips. “Unless you want to.”

“No, we’ve been through it. My answer is still no.”

“Then, mind to fucking tell me if you found something by now?”

He changed the topic swiftly. His playful demeanor switched immediately and you sighed, knowing he might have to hear anything to keep him down.

“You’re in danger.”

“I’m the strongest supe ever, that doesn’t make any damn sense,” Ben scoffed.

“Listen, we need to hide from Vought. Hide and not leave a trace, because now I’m involved with you and they’re absolutely looking for your ass,” you gave him a stern look as you went on. “If I fall, you go with me. And if you fall, then I don’t know if they’d still want me. But you’ll be fucked anyway.”

Ben nodded. In his mind, it didn’t sound like a bad plan. In the end, that’s what he wanted; to get closer to Vought and Homelander to get over with them. The world didn’t deserve those fuckers. And as much as Homelander was created with his own DNA, he knew better than to let a scum like him walk around the planet. You already gave him something, a clue. He had to play along for now. If they took you in first, then he might probably bargain to be him instead. It was only fair. He was the one that mattered anyway.

“Okay, I get it. I’ll stay here. But I don’t want those fucking therapies anymore,” he expressed, his gaze not moving away from the surprised look on your face. “Understand?”

You blinked a couple of times, shifting on your seat and chuckling under your breath. “It’s fine, believe me. I can’t stand you more than you do.”

Ben held your gaze, daring you to try something else. Instead, you smiled and got up and took your empty dishes to the sink. His eyes followed your moves, focusing on your small shorts and the softness of your legs. And you knew he was definitely checking you out when you talked.

“By the way, you’ll have to help me wash the dishes.”

He stood up, plates on his hands and walked behind your figure, putting them on the sink as you opened the faucet. His arms surrounded you once he did so and you flinched a bit. Ben smirked, feeling the reaction of your body trapped against his.

“Get away,” you ordered in a whisper, unable to move.

“I’m helping you, Y/N,” he breathed your name against your neck, his hand wrapping on yours gripping on the edge of the sink.

The only sound now was his hot breath on your skin and the water flowing. You quickly turned the faucet off, but you didn’t try to push him away.

It was the second time during the day he had said your name, ever. And you wouldn’t deny it sounded fucking delightful. He had only addressed you as his ‘doctor’, but now it was different. Though, you didn’t want to give into him. He was a huge douchebag and you were basically forced to spend time with him, in your home, without really wanting him there. You felt his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin of your neck, and the primal part of you yearned for his touch, but the rational one won over and you freed yourself from his arms.

“Stop doing that,” you warned once you were face to face. His eyes were dark already and had a sparkle you knew too much since the day before.

“Alright,” he nodded.

“Just- let’s just wash these. I want to sleep.”

With a tired sigh, you walked down the basement. It was already midnight and Ben was locked inside his room, probably jerking off or something since you, once again, rejected him in your kitchen. Inside the dark room, you found the metal door that let you inside the bunker and unlocked it with the code. When you stepped in, you made sure to turn on the power and lights that illuminated the room and the small lab in the back. The computers started to run and you sat down on the main monitor, leaving the pouch with the Anti V tubes on the side of the desk.

Yeah, you might have told Butcher and Grace you had copies of every detail of the project. But you were afraid of the last stuff you discovered just before the attack. You knew well how the information was protected and encrypted, but it didn’t really assure you the profile of Solaris would be there. He was the first and last supe who had his powers off for a couple of hours at least and the feeling of losing it all had been eating you the last few hours after meeting with Grace’s messengers.

It took you a while to decrypt the system, something you had been already used to doing every time you got there to keep working on it, just to make sure no one would steal it. Hopefully, Vought hadn’t discovered it before destroying the facilities, you thought. And after a while, you found the last updates of the last test your team ran. Solaris profile and test was there. Not just in written letters, but the footage of the test and the exact formula that was used too. Now, you were so lucky.

“Well, thank you, Bianca. Wherever you are,” you whispered to yourself and took a tube from the pouch the men gave you earlier. You had a busy night ahead.

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy imagines #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy fanfiction #the boys amazon prime #the boys amazon #the boys series #jensen ackles fanfiction #soldier boy/ben

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kurosstuff · 1 month

Note

Feel free to ignore this if it's too confusing, I myself got a lil confused while writing this.

A'ight so.

✨siren!vaggie x human!fisherman!reader x siren!charlie✨

One of the two gets overly curious and gets caught in one of readers nets, maybe charlie (sounds like smth she would do) and reader finds her and vaggie trying to get her out. Reader pulls out her fish knife to cut the net but vaggie gets the wrong idea and tries to stubornly fight her on land with her bare hands while the reader is franticaly trying to explain that she just wants to help. Just some silly first meeting shenanigans.

OMG Y3S- THIS IS SUCU A GOOD IDEA HELLOz

Also Idk anything fishing. I went fishing once when I was a little kid also short fic♡♡

LIKE UH- Charlie being a siren which? Are cruel creatures the counterpart to mermaids who are innocent(in a human aspect) kind? Like she actually is? He'll y3ah.

Siren! Charlie x fisherman!reader x Siren!Vaggie: unexpected meeting

Being a fisherman is fun- you don't have to worry about other humans stealing from you. Not usually- nor interacting with them. Just can sit back on a your deck waiting for something to catch in your net.

But there's a huge downside. You'll have encounters with other monsters. Land or sea doesn't matter. But- the one you've always hoped to never encounter. The one you like all over fisherman were warned about.

Sirens.

As beautiful as they are- just like mermaids yet oh so different. Known for luring any human to crash or to get into the water. To eat. Hell apparently- they don't always need to eat. They hunt for sport.

They hunt humans for fun

Shivering at the thought, you hummed, having to be more cautious as you set a net out into the ocean humming softly. Apparently, more monsters have been spotted - blinking, you turned hearing your name be called seeing the grumpy old man go up to you huffing. "You be careful, ok, kid?" The man grumbled the as usual Beer in his hand, making you frown - raising an eyebrow, he grunted "you don't know do you?"

"Know what-"

"The fucking siren sightings" he cut you off growling glaring in the water "twos been spotted near the town. You gotta be careful. You know the rules with handling them, right?" Seeing you nod, he hummed, patting your shoulder "after you're done. Come to my bar. I'll get you a drink. On the house. Owe you one anyways-" without waiting, he walked off.

Sighing, you nodded, slowly moving to set out your net. Never was a fan of using the pole. Making sure it was ready, you cast it into the water moving to sit on the chair you brought along sighing.

Now. You wait.

It was uneventful. Hours you waited. Nothing- it usually didn't take this long to get a pull from any fish. It was always active. Now? It wasn't. Like the fishes weren't around.

It was weird.

You almost gave up abour to pull the net in calling it a day- wasn't unrare of getting nor good pulls. Just rare to get none.

Before a pull from the net making you grin, "YES!" You cheerer pulling the net in- needing to use more force "fuck big catch today huh-" taking so much longer to pull in then usual.

You wondered what fish you caught' or like your luck. What trash did you bring in

But the second you pulled the net our. You stared at the being in the net. "What the fuck" you choked out confused at what you were even looking at.

A siren.

A fucking siren is in your net.

"H-hi, my names Charlie-" the siren spoke speaking, but you didn't really hear her as you stared. Confused. "So uh.. can you.. let me go?"

"But.. your.. a siren. You'll know?" Gesturing to her claws making her look down yelping looking up at you like a kicked puppy. As if you just told her a horrifying thing

"I'd never hurt a human!" She stuttered out, shaking her hands,"not intentionally - accidentally yeah sure their like super fragile, but.. no- no- sorry i -" she rambled. Blinking, the more you watched, the more you sighed. She - wasn't actually that dangerous. Well. She is. All sirens are

But she was like- a puppy? A sea puppy,

"Ok"

She froze, looking up at you, confused, her rambling cut short "ok I'll get you free-... need to get my knife to cut you free. That's the only way ok?" Seeing her nod, you hummed, pulling out your large knife walking to her

A bubbling noise was heard as you cut the net freeing her- not seeing her panicked face. As she watched the water. "Hey, you ok -" you were cut off by a blur jumping out of the water snarling loudly with a deep hiss charging right at you

"VAGGIE! NO-" the one siren from the net screamed out as another jumped onto you cutting your arm making you kick her off scared- terrified.

Is this how you die? From helping a siren? To be killed by another?

How unlucky can you be?

Holding your cut arm from the grumpy snarling siren- apparently named Vaggie as Charlie? You think - rushed forward, smiling, acting as if she was a mermaid. But - she's a siren, right? "Oh! Yes! I am a siren! But uh.. don't worry, me and Vaggie won't hurt you well... not again!" Charlie laughed awkwardly, rubbing her neck making you flush in embarrassment.

You said that aloud.

Sighing, glancing at vaggie, kicking the knife you used to free the taller siren for from you praying. That wasn't a mistake the snarling slowed, calming down "no no- i- sorry I was just trying to get some food- I uh- didnt mean to trap you.. didn't know sirens like- came here?"

Charlie grinned, nodding excited "oh! Me and my girlfriend Vaggie-" gesturing to the grumpy siren who glared you down "were cutting through were to meet with some mermaids-!" Smiling happy ad you hummed

"Mermaids? Seriously. Ok- Charlie, right?" Seeing her nod in agreement, making you hum softly "the mermaids aren't here. Well not now. Their off doing some hunting and what not. But careful you two. People know your here and not everyone will be nice like I am to you two"

That caused Vaggie to be on edge more so then she was already while Charlie? Didn't look worried at all.

Which concerned you.

"Wait' Charlie- don't tell me are you still gonna continu-" you were cut off by Charlie jumping into the lake. Swimming off as Vaggie stared at you. Unreadable

"I'm sorry" she spoke for the first time Grunting it out as if she never- or hardly spoke or apologied "Charlie does this. Jumps into things without much thought" making you nod slowly trying to understand- before you could reply to her.

She was gone. Following Charlie.

Staring off watching them both disappear you sighed. "..that's it I quit" you grumbled turning to pack up

#hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel vaggie x reader #vaggie x reader #hazbin hotel vaggie #MONSTER AU

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lanawinterscigarettes · 5 days

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Period Cramps (James Wilson x reader)

Summary: dealing with periods isn't so bad with Wilson as your boyfriend

Warnings: periods/menstrual cycles mentioned, reader is completely gender neutral besides the implication of them being afab (because women aren't the only people who get periods plus it's my fic and I'm transmasc so deal with it), basically just a bunch of fluff

A/N: this isn't long at all but I wanted to write something fluffy while my cramps slowly kill me (joking..for the most part) and I hate that the title is are so unoriginal but honestly who cares. Also the reader makes a playful comment about Wilson using menstrual products that could either be taken in jest or be implied trans Wilson (which was my intent when writing it but really it's up to you)

"I brought you a heating pad and some painkillers," Wilson's soft voice called out as he entered the bedroom, setting them both on the nightstand beside you. "How's the pain?" His brow was bunched together in concern as he watched you shift around on the bed, trying to get in a position that was at least somewhat comfortable.

"It's not so bad that I feel like I'm dying, if that's what you mean." Your voice came out as a discontented grumble from the pile of blankets where you laid bundled up. "But I appreciate this, thanks." You took two painkillers with some water before grabbing the heating pad and placing it on your lower abdomen. "Ahh, that's much better."

He didn't say anything, but you noticed how the corners of his lips turned upwards into a slight smile while he got next to you on the bed. You never had to make a request for cuddles from him whenever you were hurt or didn't feel good, as they were freely given.

"I'm sure you've had plenty of experience dealing with these kind of things before," you commented playfully as you leaned into him, which he responded to by moving in closer. "You probably keep your bathroom stocked with plenty of menstrual products in case you have guests who come over and need them. And of course there's some in there for yourself."

At that, he let out a snort of laughter, shaking his head in amused disbelief. "You're absolutely right, of course. What kind of host would I be if I didn't?"

"A bad one," you said with mock seriousness before letting out a giggle. The two of you were quiet for a moment before you spoke again. "Do you know what would make this moment even better?"

Almost as if on cue, he pulled out your favorite type of candy from his pocket and handed it to you. A visibly gleeful expression lit up your face as you snatched it from him and tore open the packaging, happily devouring the cavity inducing treat.

"You're the best boyfriend ever," you managed to get out between chews, giving him a look full of adoration.

He simply smiled and replied, "I'm glad you think so."

End notes: y'all have no idea how long it took me to find a gif I actually liked for this I almost gave up

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open

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#house md #house md imagine #house md x reader #house md fic #house md fluff #james wilson #james wilson imagine #james wilson x reader #james wilson fic #james wilson fluff #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #gn reader #x gn reader #male reader #x male reader #fem reader #x fem reader

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lostinforestbound · 2 months

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I actually wrote this fic back in January, before ever making a tumblr! I had the idea for a while and I wanted to get it out there even if no one would see it, and now it's at over 100 kudos! Never would I have ever thought the fic would be seen this much, and I'm grateful that people like it! This is also an exploration of Rolan's insecurity and guilt being part of Cal and Lia's lives. Enjoy the tumblr version!

Rolan/GN!Tav

Look Away for a Minute

Rolan is frustrated by how his mind constantly clings to the past. It refuses to move on, and he should be over it by now...right? OR A nightmare tortures Rolan in the night, but Tav is there to help him through it.

Word Count: 3k (AO3)

Relevant Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Nightmare sequence, Mentions of abuse, Mentions of vomiting, Rolan's POV

The crushing pressure of hands around Rolan's throat is too much, cutting off his airway so he couldn’t breathe, and so tight that it could snap his neck in any moment. His sharp nails desperately scrape at the wrists positioned there, trying to find a breath that will never come, his tail lashing out from under him. He wants to fight harder, kick until his bones crack, scream until his voice is gone, bite until his jaw locks and breaks his teeth, but an unrelenting fear paralyzes him in place.

He can’t see the face above him through unfocused eyes; it's cast in an unnatural shadow with cruel blue irises staring down at him. It's unblinking, watching him struggle with a lack of reaction as his throat goes dry as sand, the urge to cough rising in need.

Lorroakan.

Rolan rasps, his nails- his claws leaving angry red welts across Lorroakan's forearms. He didn’t know the answer. What was the gods damned answer? Was it something about divination runes? The creation of the Weave? Or was it the Spellplague in the Year of Blue Fire? N-No, no, it had to be about the Nightsong, the relic that he so aggressively sought after. He can still fix this! He can correct himself and apologize. He'll grovel if he has to, knock his own pride down a few pegs to be more convincing and pathetic, just as his mentor wants him to be. He can do better, he has to do better, for Cal and Lia. After what they've both been through for him, for this damn apprenticeship he wanted so badly, it is the least he can do for them. He will-

“What is this, hm?”

Another face appears above him, one he should be so familiar with but it faded so much over time. It's been so many years since he looked at her portrait, one that was gifted to him by Cal when he was welcomed into their little family; he couldn't bear to look at it again, not after her funeral. Her eyes are just as vicious as Lorroakan’s, but she is someone Rolan fears much more. It makes his blood run cold, body shaking as if he was dunked in the frozen waters of Neverwinter.

“You were the sweetest child, but I see who you are now: A manipulator, and a thief.”

Please, no-

“You stole my family, little one. You stole them away for me. Did you wait idly for me to die in order to take them for yourself?”

The moment he tries to tear his eyes away, a new set of hands forces his head still with a grip on his face, maintaining the eye contact. He chokes still, desperate tears filling his eyes as his struggle intensifies. The tiefling couldn't even give her the courtesy of pleading for mercy, or to apologize, he just wanted to run away; after all, he is a coward. One who couldn't even look at a portrait of the person he thought of as his own mother.

These hands have delicate fingers but are just as tight, enough to bruise his fragile jaw; when did he get so small? “Little Rolan, a greedy child. I gave you my home, I fed you warm meals, and I gave you a bed; was that not enough for you? A selfish boy you are! A pitiful thing. The one time I feed a stray, he comes back for more. He takes and takes and never stops. They don’t need you like you need them. They don’t even want you.“

He knows, he knows that uncomfortably well, but by the gods does he need them. He needs them so badly. If they were gone, he would have nothing else.

He feels himself grow limp as more unnerving words are whispered. Most of it he can’t even register anymore, but he knows one thing for sure.

“They would be better off without you burdening them.”

He wakes with a sharp gasp, sitting up with a disoriented mind with wide golden eyes. Instinctively, he digs his nails into his neck, but it takes him a long moment to realize that there is no hands there, no hands to choke him. He breathes in heavy to get air in his lungs, heart racing as he takes in the dark room around him. He’s in his bedroom. He’s not on the cold wood or even in his workspace inside the tower, where he used to be tutored. He’s alive. He's not suffocating. He’s not dying. He’s not dying. Everything is as it should be.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to breathe through his rising panic, but it's not working; every time he sucks air in, it's never enough. He either ends up coughing or barely breathing at all. Nothing and everything feels real at the same time, is he even in the room? The silence presses against his ears, making him feel so, so isolated in the worst way possible. Lorroakan is dead. He can’t hurt him anymore, so why does he still dream of him?

Why does he still dream of her?

“Rolan…” A sleepy voice mutters, before he feels steady arms wrap around his waist, pulling him into another body. He bristles momentarily, almost spiraling into panic once more until he realizes who it is that holds him.

It’s warm, and it’s secure.

It's Tav. It’s safe.

He lets out an exhausted, shaky sigh, leaning back into the hold. His skin glistens from the cold sweat he woke up to. When he lifts up his hands to try and hold theirs, he sees how much they shake; his fingers twitch uncontrollably, and he idly notices that there were small sparks of magic attempting to get conjured. The spell is unrecognizable with how unstable it looks, he can't tell which one it is. Mage Armor? Magic Missile? Thunderwave?-

He feels Tav leave gentle kisses on the back of his neck and across his shoulder blades, making his internal questions pause. “Are you alright?” They question softly, but they know the answer; they know him too well, but it seems they want to hear him say it anyways.

A deep breath echoes in the bedroom, and he squeezes his eyes shut once more as the energy fades from his hands. “No.”

“Do you wish to speak on it?”

“No.”

“For later then. Come here.” They murmur, pulling him to lay back down.

He relents, but he feels disgusting with all the sweat. Gods, why is he sweating so much, and why does he feel cold? The dream was over, it was done.

Tav did not seem to mind the fact he clings to them, turning and letting him hide his face in their neck. It was a little awkward with the horns, but they make it work with their chin resting on his head. He feels their hand start to scratch at his scalp, and the amount of relief that gives him is absolutely embarrassing. His tail curls around their leg to keep them close, and the comforting sensations almost make him want to cry. They peck the top of his head, nuzzling into his sweat damp hair.

He doesn’t deserve this. He really doesn’t.

He’s unsure how long they lay there, it was mostly him trying to calm his heart. He feels fingers gently trace the ridges on his skin, cautious in how they touch. They were sensitive, and the trailing warmth made him shiver. He knows they’re trying to distract him; It’s sweet of them, truly, but his depression grips his chest so deeply. Usually he can handle these on his own. He’s a confident man, and he knows he has Cal and Lia by his side. That they want to stay by his side. If they thought anything else, they wouldn't stay in this tower he took over after the death of his teacher.

But some days are like these, where he can barely move and thinks he deserves nothing after butting into a family that will never be his.

Tav shouldn’t have to deal with this, though they think otherwise, it seems. It isn’t the first time this happened, he's had night terrors that sent him in a panic so bad he vomited and he can't even remember what it was even about. It bewildered and embarrassed him, but Tav didn't even say anything about it, they only cleaned him and the mess up as if it was not a problem. It won’t be the last time this will occur, no matter how much he wants it to be. But that’s what Tav signed up for, happily. They wanted Rolan, with all of his flaws and night terrors.

They shift slightly, pulling Rolan's body on top of them so he can rest there, arms snaking around his waist. Holding him close, their grip was loose in case this wasn’t okay. But Rolan only lays limply against them, energy gone but unable to go back sleep.

He just sees eyes.

“-ght, Rolan?”

Oh, they’re calling him. He can’t force his tongue to work. It feels heavy in his mouth.

They push some hair away from his eyes before cupping his jaw. “My love,” He listens, but their voice is muffled when it tries to reach his ears, a constant ring blocking the sound. It’s so loud. So loud. So loud-

A part of him startles when they start rubbing at his ears. They’re particularly sensitive, they know this after nibbling on them at some point in an attempt to be playful, and it’s enough to make him whine at the touch.

“Rolan,” They murmur, kissing him right between the eyes. “Come back to me, lovely. You'll be okay; you're with me, yes?”

He wants to believe that, even just for a little bit.

He buries his face in their chest, wanting to lay there. To be held, to be comforted. Doesn’t he deserve that after all the bullshit he’s been through? After the torture, the pain, the loneliness?

No.

No he doesn’t, and the thought alone makes him want to drink until he's numb, just like at Last Light Inn, where he thought his siblings, his only family, were dead and gone. Or possibly being tortured at Moonrise Towers. He doesn't know which one was worse to think about, his imagination knowing no bounds in its creativity. What would they have done, if the True Souls decided to hurt them? Would they take their eyes and cut out their tongues like how they did with Asharak-

Before his mind could grow darker, thumbs continue stroking his pointy ears as Tav speaks, “What’s the difference between Transmutation and Evocation? I keep forgetting...” Tav quizzes, feigning innocence.

A foolish question, even a child could answer it…but it’s distracting.

“Transmutation will physically alter the form of an object, or fundamentally change something in its entirety. Evocation is damaging effects mostly used in combat, but will also be used to heal wounds, as you see with clerics.”

“And what is another school useful in combat?”

“Abjuration; it specializes in defense protocols but some spells can be useful in combat, like Counterspell.”

They hum at the response, pulling him up more to kiss his forehead, right between his devilish horns. “You’re so smart, Master Rolan.”

He lets out a stuttering breath. Gods, this night is awful. He feels awful, Tav shouldn't have to deal with this.

When they suddenly start to sit up, his already fragile heart dropped into his nauseated stomach. Did they get sick of him already? Are they going to leave? Will they-

“Let’s take a bath.”

This snaps him out of his raging thoughts, staring at their eyes. "It’s late,” He states after a long moment of contemplating.

“So? Who’s going to be knocking on our door telling us not to take a bath in our own home? It’s your tower,” They say, helping him sit up as well before smiling teasingly. “Let’s take a bath, I’m sure being all sweaty is grossing you out.”

He is reluctant, but doesn’t say no when they help him out of the bed. It felt as if his body refused to move. It’s tense and rigid, his tail curled around his own leg. He can't look at them, and he’s unsure if it’s out of shame or out of fear. Fear of what? Tav? No, no! That would be idiotic to fear them. They love him. He loves them. He loves them so much it hurts. If he could rip out his very soul and gift it to them, he would do so without a second thought.

Their hand holds his firmly, something to ground him into their reality, and they lead him towards their private bathing room, decorated in lovely tapestries with a variety of colors. Some have subtle designs and are more abstract, while others have vivid images of Tav's heroics of Baldur's Gate. It's a courtesy of some citizens that they were gifted, but he cannot tell yet if they even like them there or not; still, he hung them up high for display because...well, he is so proud of them, how could he not be? He certainly thinks some of them are tacky, and he voices that opinion often, and it always makes his love laugh. The sweet, delicate smell of lavender hits his senses after Tav fills their large basin with water, bubbles forming almost instantly.

He watches their movements, seeing them strip off their clothes and kicking them off the side before they approach him again. Their hands smooth over his forearms, and they peck his nose as they unlace his trousers, stripping him as well. He lets them, a feral instinct inside of him begging for the touch, begging for any form of love they’re willing to give. He wants all of it, and he’s selfish for it.

They lead him into the basin first, getting in themselves after he’s settled. They then gently turn him around so he could press his back against their chest. It would be easier to wash his hair this way.

Both of them exchange no words, they only bathe Rolan while they hum to themselves, as if this was normal. This isn’t normal. He doesn’t deserve to be pampered when he’s done absolutely nothing to earn it. But he’s also too weak to resist.

So he lets them run their fingers through his hair, their nails scratching his scalp and rubbing the soap in. He closes his eyes when requested, letting the warm wash over him. Even when his hair and body are clean from the cold sweat, Tav insists on massaging his shoulders, working out any knots he may have. Being the master of a tower is stressful, after all.

During this he zones out, the silence deafening him as his thoughts run rampant once more. He hears them speak to him but the phrases never form coherently. Flashes of the dream drag him down into a form of despair, boring into him like ice pick.

His eyes start to sting, but then his worst fear comes to life; he starts to weep. He’s cried very few times in his life, and even then, those few times they at least warranted tears. He was allowed to cry. But this? In front of Tav and over a gods damned dream?

It only gets worse, because the weeping turns into full blown sobs, body curling forward with his face almost touching the dirty water as he hugs himself tight. His body thinks it’s in danger, somehow, and he can’t pull himself together. Voices tell him he’s nothing and deserves nothing.

Tav soothes him, leaning over him and littering kisses across his shoulders. They say nothing, and he’s thankful for it. He can’t imagine trying to speak in this state, when he tries his words die on his tongue. It's as if like he’s choking all over again, and the urge to cough grows.

Eventually his sobs delude to into sniffles and barely silent whimpers. Tav still doesn’t speak, nuzzling into the soaked skin on the back of his neck. When he calms down, Tav helps him out of the basin after getting out themselves, drying him off and changing him into new night clothes, one that was clean and softer than the one he chose before. He felt pathetic not being able to change himself, but he had no will to do so.

“I’m sorry,” He hears himself croak out. “You should be sleeping.”

Gods, they shouldn't have to even deal with him. What he went through is only a fraction of what they've been through. They saved the entire Sword Coast, possibly the entire world from the Absolute, all while they had a damn tadpole in their heads threatening to turn them and their friends into illithids. Yet, they're doing so gods damn well in their lives, a greedy part of him thinking it's unfair. Why are they fine while he is not? How did they do it?

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You had a bad dream, it happens more often than you would think,” They say, tracing their lips against his cheek while he processes the implication of their statement. “We don’t have to talk about it now. Just know that I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Though he lacks the energy for it, his mind wants to kiss them so deeply a never let go. He wants to drown in them, in their scent, in their body- damn it all, why is he so needy? He hates- no, he loathes how needy he is, how fucking desperate he gets. It's pathetic; he is so utterly pathetic. Pitiful. Miserable.

When they pull him back to their shared bed and lay down once more, they let him get as close as he wants, and he is thankful for it. It ends up with arms around them tight, him burying his face into their neck while his tail curls around their thigh. He wants to be close tonight, a silent plea for them to let him know everything is okay.

So they indulge his wish, playing with his hair all the while. He probably won’t sleep much tonight, but that’s okay by them, they always preach. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last, and they can and will live with that.

Healing is never linear, after all.

#rolan #bg3 rolan #bg3 fanfic #rolan x tav #rolan x reader #bg3 #Forest-Writes #holy rolan empire

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vickiee-mcmuffin · 10 months

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A helping hand

Word count: 1.1k

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Female Reader

Trope: Fluff

A/N: This is another idea that suddenly came to me. I had a little thought and wondered if Stephen had ever silently cried because the pain in his hands was unbearable. So here's a little fic about it.

Summary: You are awoken by the soft sound of someone crying, and you realise Stephen is in pain.

You had been sleeping peacefully, wrapped up in Stephen’s arms, your head resting on his chest. But you were soon disrupted from your sleep when you were certain you heard the soft sound of someone crying. You opened your eyes, adjusting to the darkness around you as you lay there still, trying to listen for the noise again.

But there was nothing but silence, and you just thought to yourself that you were hearing things. You closed your eyes, ready to go back to sleep, but that’s when you heard the noise again. This time it was much clearer and you knew someone had to be crying, and if it wasn’t you, there was only one other person in the room who it could possibly be.

Stephen.

Was Stephen crying? You hoped he wasn’t seriously hurt.

Desperate to find out if Stephen was okay, you moved, shifting so you could look up at him.

“Stephen?” you whispered. “Are you okay?”

You heard Stephen sniffle before he moved his arm to wipe at his nose. “I’m okay,” Stephen told you in a soft voice, and you knew he wasn’t okay just by hearing his voice.

You moved, leaning over Stephen to turn on the bedside light, your eyes squinting as the light hit your face. You quickly turned your attention back to Stephen, looking at him with sad eyes as soon as you saw his face. His cheeks were stained with tears, and his eyes were swollen, evidence he had been crying.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” you asked in a sad voice. You hated to see Stephen cry, the sight breaking your heart.

“I don’t want to bother you with my problems, Y/N.”

You took Stephen’s face in your hands, staring at him sweetly before you gave his lips a soft kiss. “You can never bother me, Stephen. I’m always here for you. Please tell me.”

But Stephen kept his lips pressed tightly together as more silent tears fell from his eyes. You sent him a sad smile before using your thumb to wipe away his tears.

“Did something happen at Kamar Taj?” you wondered, but Stephen shook his head at you, leaving you to guess what could be bothering him. “Is it your hands? Are they hurting?” You knew Stephen’s hands did hurt most of the time, the pain being so severe sometimes that he wouldn't be able to pick anything up.

This time Stephen nodded at you, and you sent him a sweet smile. “Do you want me to massage your hands?” you suggested.

“Are you sure? It’s late and I know you have to be up in the morning for work,” Stephen said, worried his problems would make you late.

You sent Stephen another smile. “You’re more important to me than my job. So yes, I’m sure.”

Your heart soared when Stephen sent you a teary smile. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

You then moved, pulling back the covers and getting out of bed. Once Stephen was up on his feet, you grabbed one of his scarred hands gently, noticing the tremble in his hand as you led him over to the bathroom. You turned on the light before quickly moving over to the sink.

You grabbed the plug and placed it in the sink before filling it up with warm water. Once the sink was full, you grabbed Stephen’s hands, placing them into the warm water softly. You heard Stephen groan when his hands made contact with the water, the sound deep and loud.

You then placed one of your own hands in the water to grab at Stephen’s. You worked on one hand at a time, gently massaging them and tracing each and every scar, being oh so careful not to hurt him. This wasn’t the first time you had given him a massage to help with the pain in his hands, but you made sure to work on his hands gently and carefully every time, watching his face for any signs of pain.

After leaving his hands to soak for a good five minutes, you gently removed them and dried them off with a towel. You then grabbed the almost empty bottle of massage oil and poured the remainder onto your hand. You then rubbed your hands together before grabbing one of Stephen’s hands again.

You worked on each hand gingerly, and you noticed how the tremble you had felt earlier had settled a little. You hoped the pain had too.

“How are you feeling?” you asked Stephen as you continued working on his hands.

“So much better. The pain isn’t as severe anymore,” Stephen confessed, and that made you smile.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

You were just finishing up on Stephen’s left hand, gently massaging at his fingers, and that’s when Stephen spoke up again.

“Thank you for always doing this, Y/N. For always putting up with me and my hands.”

You looked up at him and smiled. “You don’t need to thank me, Stephen. You know how much I love you and how much I love taking care of you and your hands.”

Your words seemed to get to Stephen because you watched as his face changed, tears filling his eyes again. This time not because he was in pain, but because he never thought he could get this lucky.

“I love you so much. How did I get this lucky finding you?” he smiled, his eyes glossy with tears.

You felt your own eyes well up with tears. You let go of Stephen’s hand and stood on your tiptoes, kissing him softly and sweetly.

“I love you, too. So much,” you told him after pulling away from his lips. “I think I’m the lucky one.”

Stephen let out a laugh, the sound echoing throughout the tiny bathroom before he kissed you. You stood there kissing for a good five minutes before Stephen pulled away, letting out a yawn.

“I think we should get back to bed,” Stephen smiled and you nodded at the idea.

“Agreed.”

You emptied the sink and turned off the bathroom light before returning to your bed. You let Stephen get comfortable first before you jumped back into bed. You reached over and turned off the bedside light. You then moved, cuddling up to Stephen as you felt one of his strong arms wrapping around you.

“Goodnight, Stephen,” you whispered, shutting your eyes, ready to let sleep take over.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Stephen replied, placing a gentle kiss on your hair.

Stephen fell asleep first, the soft sound of his snores filling the bedroom. You smiled, happy that Stephen had managed to fall asleep again so quickly after he had been in pain earlier. You hoped the pain wouldn’t come back again anytime soon.

You then found yourself falling asleep in Stephen’s arms soon after, glad you had managed to help him feel better.

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ironstrange1991 · 11 months

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The Touch Of Your Hands

+18 Smut

Pairing: Stephen!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: It's cold and Stephen's hands are hurting and you decide to take care of them (and other things too)

Word Count: 4,4k

Warnings: Mentions of physical pain, SMUT: Strong hand kink, fingering, oral sex (with female receiving), masturbation (with female receiving), unprotected p in v sex, creampie.

A/N: I've always had a fascination with men's hands and since Stephen's hands are such an important part of his story (and the fact that Benedict's hands are huge) it's kind of obvious that I would be obsessed with them. This story pretty much wrote itself and I intended it to be a fluffy fic, but as you'll see it took a totally different turn. Enjoy your reading ;)

You were reading your favorite book, sitting lazily on your bed, back propped up by a pile of pillows. It was cold, very cold. You were dressed in flannel pajamas, wearing fluffy socks and covered in a heavy blanket.

The fireplace was lit, outside you could hear the sound of the wind hitting the window. Weather forecasters had predicted a blizzard for that night and the next morning. Flights had been cancelled, schools had sent notes to parents that they would be closed the following day, local businesses would probably do the same.

You liked the winter, but the idea of Stephen being out in the snow doing god knows what was absurd to you and made you feel guilty for being comfortable when you knew your man was out there in the cold.

You were distracted by your book until you started to feel sleep taking over you, your eyes closing by themselves, so you placed your book on the bedside table, turned off the lamp and surrendered to the tireness of the day.

You must have dozed off for only a few minutes because the sound of boots in the hallway was enough to wake you up. The door opened slowly and Stephen entered and closed it carefully so as not to make any noise. You were so comfortable that you didn't even move, you just expected him to go to you and give you a kiss, like he always did, but instead you heard him walking to the bathroom and the closet door creaking open.

You continued to listen carefully until the sound of something falling and crashing on the floor startled you. Stephen swore under his breath, but you could hear the irritation in his voice.

By then you had completely lost sleep, so you got up, wrapped yourself in your fluffy robe and walked over to him.

Stephen was still dressed in his robes, standing in front of the mirror, trying to clean some bruises from his face. Trying because his hands were shaking a lot more than usual.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you." He said with a heavy sigh.

You walked over and wrapped your arms around his waist. "It's okay. Christ, you're freezing in these wet robes, Stephen."

He turned to look at you, his face was red from the cold, there were a few cuts on his cheekbones and forehead, no big deal. "I hate to ask, Y/n, but..."

"Yes I can help you undress. I already told you that you can call me when you need help, Stephen."

He nodded "I know, but you looked so comfortable that I didn't have the heart."

You smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Then you set about unbuckling all his belts. You freed him of the top of his robes and knelt down to remove his boots and finally free him of his pants as well.

"Thanks, sweetheart. My hands are terrible today. Probably from the cold. It's freezing outside."

"From what I've seen on TV, it's not going to get better anytime soon. At least we can stay in bed late." You gave him your best smile and then stepped away and turned on the shower, adjusting the temperature until the water was piping hot. "Take a hot shower, then I'll take care of your hands. They are hurting, right?"

He nodded shyly, quickly got rid of his boxers and stepped into the shower.

You got him a change of clean clothes and left them on the counter, then went about preparing a basin of hot water and lavender essence. You grabbed some clean towels and the bottle of lavender oil and took it to bed with you.

Stephen did not take long to return to the room. He looked gorgeous in his sweatshirt and pants, hair messed up, a few strands falling over his forehead.

"Come on, let me take care of you." You said patting the mattress.

He smirked and crawled under the blankets with you and you adjusted the pillows behind him "Lean on the pillows"

He did as you asked and you spread one of the towels on his lap over the blankets. "Put your hands here, palms facing up. Good."

You wet another towel in the hot water and wrung out the excess water and wrapped it around Stephen's hands as he let out a heavy sigh.

"Let's wait a minute for them to get really warm." You said touching his face. The cuts had been cleaned up, but you knew they must be hurting. "It always breaks my heart when you come home hurt."

He tried to smile reassuringly, but he couldn't even do that. You could see the weariness written on his face, his eyes heavy from all those sleepless nights.

"You're not going to work tomorrow, okay?"

"Sweetheart, I need..."

You put two fingers on his lips "Shh you don't need anything. Nobody's going to work tomorrow because of the bad weather. I want you to enjoy the day to rest and get some sleep."

"I can't, Y/n..."

"I'm not asking, Stephen. Unless you want to pick a fight with me, you're going to do what I say."

He sighed heavily "I'll call Wong tomorrow morning."

You smile "Very well."

You kissed him gently and then took the towel from his hands and returned it to the basin. You took the bottle of lavender oil and dripped a few drops into his palm and then smoothed it very gently all over his hand. "Let me know if it hurts, okay?"

He nodded.

You turned his left hand over palm down and started massaging his fingers. Starting with the pinky, you pinched the tip of the finger firmly for a moment, then used firm, short strokes with your thumb, massaging up the finger towards the knuckle. Finally, squeezing it all over. You repeated the process on the other fingers and he let out a heavy exhale. "This feels amazing, sweetheart."

You smiled "Yeah?"

"Uh hm" He hummed leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

You used your thumb to massage the back of his hand, placing the pad of your thumb between the pinky and ring finger, using medium pressure, sliding your thumb along the finger bone, up towards the wrist. You repeated the process working your way up along each finger bone taking some extra time in the place between his thumb and index finger, using circular motions.

"I love it when you take care of my hands like this. There's no one in the world I would let do that to me but you."

You smiled, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest at those words, but you continued with your work. You turned his hand over, and cradled it in both hands. Then began to massage the palm in small, circular movements using your thumbs, beginning in the middle of the palm, and working your way towards the sides, and then up towards his wrist. He let out a sweet noise. Something between a groan and a moan. His eyes were still closed, his breathing calm and relaxed.

"I love doing this for you. It's very intimate and it makes me feel good too."

You held Stephen's hand palm down, and interlaced your fingers with his to stretch the fingers apart. Grasping the whole hand in yours, and gently pushed back to stretch the wrist a bit. Slowly and carefully turned the wrist from right to left, and then left to right.

You finished the massage with a few more drops of lavender oil and proceeded to give several long strokes with your palm and fingers, beginning at the back of the wrist, and smoothing your hand down towards the fingers.

"One is finished." You kissed the back of his hand. "Now, give me the other hand."

He did as you asked and you restarted the whole process. Very slowly, taking your time, you worked on his fingers, his wrist, his palm, the back of his hand. You finished it off again with a kiss and when you dared look at him, he was looking intently at you, his blue eyes filled with love and affection.

You felt your face blushing at that look. "What is it?"

He smirked "I love you, Y/n. I love you so much, more than I ever thought I could love anyone. You are the most important thing to me in this world."

You grinned and threw yourself on top of him kissing him passionately. His arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you impossibly close to him.

You only broke the kiss to breathe and still you stayed glued to him, your forehead resting on his "I love you too, Stephen Strange. I love you more than anything."

He kissed you again, this time sweetly, his lips brushing against yours gently. You smiled and then moved away removing the towel from his lap.

"So, on a scale of 0 to 10, how much better is the pain in your hands now?"

"10. I'm not feeling any pain right now."

You smiled smugly "See? I know how to take care of my man."

You threatened to get up to take the basin and towels, but he moved his fingers making them disappear and grabbed you by the wrist pulling you on top of him. He arranged the blankets over your bodies. No matter how cold it was outside, it was so warm there under the covers with him. So comfortable.

"There's another way you can take care of me, now." He said with his most cocky smile.

You bit your bottom lip "And what way would that be?"

He moved both hands down to your ass moving them purposefully against his hard on. "Like this. Feel how hard I already am just from you taking care of my hands. I can't help it. It feels so good."

"Hum, I know. I feel the same way, I just didn't say it because I thought you might find it a bit weird."

He chuckled "What? That you have a hand kink? Not weird at all. And you don't need to say it, sweetheart, your eyes say everything for you."

You kissed him, biting his bottom lip to tease him. "And what do my eyes say, doctor?"

He kept one hand on your ass, but brought the other up to your face, cupping your cheek. His thumb forcing your lips open. "That you get horny looking at my hands, you like to admire them, touch them, but especially feel them on you."

"Hmm" You hummed opening your mouth for him and letting his thumb rest on your tongue. Spit gathering around it.

"You don't even try to deny it, do you sweetheart?"

You wrapped your lips around his finger and swallowed thickly, sucking his finger shamelessly as you began to move your hips on top of him, grinding back and forth on his bulge.

Stephen moaned and you felt his cock twitching beneath you. He took his hand from your ass and moved it in one quick gesture and instantly you were both naked. You lifted your hips enough for him to position his cock at your entrance and then lowered letting him penetrate you. You were wet from the moment you started massaging his hands, so he easily slid inside making you both moan loudly.

You started to move, riding him slowly, sensually. You weren't in a hurry, you wanted to enjoy your time with him, feel him inside you, stretching you. You were sure there was no better feeling in the world.

You took his hand that was on your face, taking his thumb out of your mouth with a pop, but proceeded to run your lips all over his palm, giving open mouth kisses and little bites to it, reveling in the feel of his hand on your face, in your mouth and on your tongue. Licking each of his fingers and then sucking on them and moaning shamelessly as you moved up and down, back and forth on his cock.

He moaned loud "That's right, sweetheart, use me. I'm all yours tonight."

You gave his palm one last kiss and then slid his hand to your breast, he grabbed it immediately, circling his thumb over your nipple, squeezing it. The other hand firmly on your hip.

"Feels so good, Stephen. You feel so good inside of me, stretching me just right. I love riding you, having you like this, underneath me. It’s so rare."

He moaned again and you felt his cock pulsing hard inside you "You know I need to be in control, sweetheart. It's how I like it. But tonight I'm too tired and I want you to keep taking care of me. You do it so well. So good to me. I'm so lucky."

You took his hand that was on your hip and brought it to your breast and held both of his hands there and started to move faster, letting yourself be carried away by the moment and feeling the pleasure building deep in your womb.

"If I could I would stay here with you forever. Just me and you, you inside me, your hands in me. God, Stephen, I love your hands."

He gave you a cocky smirk "I know. Tell me why you love them so much. What makes them so special?"

You bit your bottom lip to contain a loud moan and Stephen tsked. "Don't hold back, sweetheart. Let me hear you."

You moaned loudly feeling your pussy fluttering and you knew you couldn't take much more, you were so close and Stephen could feel it too.

"They're big. L-Long fingers." You replied closing your eyes and letting yourself be carried away by all the sensations.

"Yeah? What else? Tell me all about it. I want to hear it."

"R-Rough. They are rough. Feels good against my skin... Oh my god" You leaned against his chest increasing your pace. "Stephen I wanna cum."

He cupped your face and his hand was so warm against your skin, the light tremors were so peculiarly pleasing. You loved even that, even though you didn't have the courage to tell him.

"Open your eyes, sweetheart, look at me. I want to look you in the eye when you cum."

You nodded obediently and looked directly into his eyes. "Tell me I can cum."

"You can cum, sweetheart. You were so good to me, you deserve it. Use me and cum all over my cock. I'm right after you."

You brushed your hair away from your face to one side and leaned forward just enough to cage Stephen's head between your arms, the new variation of the position providing delicious friction of your clit on his pubic bone and eliciting a loud moan from your lips.

Stephen bent his head up to kiss you, his tongue thrusting into your mouth insistently to sate a desire that never really went away, just grew stronger and stronger.

You kept moving your hips back and forth, Stephen's two hands found the flesh of your ass again and stayed there helping you move, allowing his cock to move in and out of you providing just the right amount of pleasure that you needed and the sound of it was so good. Wet, you were so impossibly wet and the squelching sound was obscenely erotic.

Your fingers threaded through his hair and your breath and moan merged into one as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you like a fire rushing through a forest, burning, consuming, ravaging.

"Don't hold back, sweetheart, give it to me."

You had your eyes locked on his and no words were needed, he could see it happening and he could definitely feel the way your pussy tightened around his cock and then enveloped him in warm fluid, proof of your pleasure. Your entire body convulsed on top of his, your mouth went agape, eyes full of tears of joy and contentment.

"That's it, sweetheart, you did so good to me. Cuming so hard on my cock, being such a good girl." Stephen cooed cupping your face and kissing your lips softly. He wiped a tear that ran down your face with his thumb and you gave him the most beautiful smile in the world. "I love you, Stephen. So much."

He held you tight and flipped you under him in one swift motion. Your head on the pillows, back on the mattress, his cock never left you and he was throbbing, demanding him to sate his desire for you, but Stephen wasn't in a hurry, neither of you were, not that night.

He leaned on one arm so as not to drop his body weight on you, the other hand he took to your thigh, positioning it firmly on his hip as you took the hint and intertwined both legs on his back allowing him to go even deeper and then he began to move, slowly, sensually, making love instead of fucking, although in Stephen's head it was hard to find the line that separated these two things.

For you, however, they were clear as day and you loved getting fucked by your man, but you loved it even more when he took his time with you, making love to you like you were the most fragile thing in the world under his rough hands.

He grabbed your chin and kissed you roughly dissociating from the loving way he fucked you, his tongue thrusting inside your mouth much more vigorously and you knew there was a part of Stephen that would never relinquish control and being quite honest, you didn’t mind.

"S-Stephen, it feels so good..."

He bit your lower lip and took his lips to your chin, letting out an almost painful groan. "Fuck sweetheart, I want this to last, but I can't hold it, it feels too good and I'm so close..."

You smiled reassuringly holding his hand that was cupping your face. "It's okay, I already had mine. Cum for me, Stephen. Cum inside me, show me how much you love me."

The way Stephen's body obeyed your words would be pathetic if you two weren't fully aware of how much you loved each other. It was almost instantaneous. He let out a loud moan and buried his face in your neck as his entire body shook and ropes of warm cum painted your walls white.

God, you loved that feeling. Feeling the warmth of his seed buried deep inside you, hearing the sweet noises he made when he gave himself completely to his pleasure, the feel of his hands squeezing your flesh as if that was the only way he could stay on the earthly plane and knowing that you were responsible for having him that way. You could have that every night of your life and it still wouldn't be enough.

You could feel his cum oozing out of you and soiling the sheets and your pussy fluttered around his softened cock just by the thought of it. It was undeniable that you wanted more, but you knew Stephen was tired, otherwise he wouldn't have softened so quickly after cum, the man could take several rounds in one night.

He kissed you softly and then sighed heavily "I hate to leave you wanting more..."

You shushed him and went back to kissing him, your tongue entering his mouth, exploring, sucking on his tongue. He let out a satisfied hum and you took his hand that was on your face and directed it between you and he quickly took the hint and brought it to your clit and started playing with the swollen bud to which you let out a satisfied moan.

"Like this?" He asked with a smirk and you just nodded, leaning your head back and giving in to the feeling.

He pulled out, his lips trailing down your chin, lingering on your breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth, sucking slowly, then moving on to the other.

You arched your back letting yourself be carried away by the pleasure as his lips moved down your abdomen and finally reached its destination. He sucked on your clit gently and used two fingers to penetrate you, using his own cum as lube and making a lewd squelching noise while finger fucking you.

He fluttered his tongue on your clit, giving little cat licks on it and blowing gently on your sensitive bud making you see stars. Stephen knew exactly what to do and how to do it.

"Oh my god, Stephen. You do it so well."

He replaced his tongue with his thumb, circling it around your clit as his fingers moved in and out of you. He reached to kiss you softly and then replaced his mouth with his middle and index finger.

"Suck" He demanded and you gladly obeyed, nursing on his fingers like your life depended on it. "Good girl." He cooed.

Stephen curled his fingers to reach your g spot and found it with frightening ease. You moaned around his fingers and he began to mimic the movements of his fingers on your pussy in your mouth, fucking your mouth with them and watching intently as you fell apart with the act. "Give it to me. Show me how much you love these long fingers working on you, sweetheart."

You closed your eyes feeling another orgasm approaching as he tsked.

"Look at me, keep your eyes open for me."

You complied, your moans suppressed by Stephen's big fingers fucking your mouth, he increased the pace of his thumb on your clit and you started to move your hips against his hand, getting as much friction as possible.

Stephen grinned "Good girl, make yourself cum on my hand and suck nice and hard on my fingers, show me how much you love my hands."

And just as he instructed, you came hard in his hand. Your entire body convulsing with the force of your orgasm. Stephen hummed satisfied, but only stopped working his fingers on you when he was sure you had finished. "Such a good girl. I'm so lucky to be able to come home after a day like I've had knowing that I have such a good girl waiting for me."

He took his fingers out of your mouth and kissed you sweetly "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

You just nodded, the words seemed to have vanished from your mind, your body felt like jelly.

He smiled watching you for a second and then he knelt between your legs and moved his fingers and the basin and towels you used earlier reappeared on top of the bed. He moved his fingers again and one of the towels seemed to come to life, dipping into the basin and wringing itself out of excess water. He took it then and began to clean you gently, the feel of the warm towel was very welcome on your sensitive pussy.

"I'm the lucky one, Stephen." You said when he finished his work and got rid of the basin with another wave of his hand. He snapped his fingers and you both got dressed again in your comfortable clothes.

He threw himself onto the pillows and pulled you into his arms pulling the blankets back over your bodies. You laid your head comfortably on his shoulder, your hand automatically reaching for his, lacing your fingers through his.

"How's the pain?" You asked and he sighed turning his face to place a kiss on your forehead.

"It’s hurting a bit now, but only because I forced them a little too hard."

You brought his hand to your lips and placed a small kiss on his palm to which he sighed contentedly.

You got distracted for a few minutes in silence, playing with his hand and when you dared to look at Stephen he was asleep. His face calm and relaxed, his breathing regular and steady. You smiled touching his face gently and feeling your chest fill with a love so big you didn't know how you could contain it inside.

Outside, the wind howled against the windows, but inside your shared bedroom the fire crackled keeping you warm and safe.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

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rorywritesjunk · 5 months

Text

Let’s be one another’s present tense

Buggy ‘rescues’ you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea.

Rating: R-ish for now. Warning: Mentions of s-icide (nothing actually happens at all), holding one's breath, thoughts of drowning. Reader expects the worst from Buggy nearing the end of the fic. Buggy is a bit of a shit in this chapter but in his normal shitty way. Swearing. A/N: This has been sitting in my head as I worked it out for an Anon’s request. I have been really intrigued by this and wanted it to be just right. Also, it gave me the chance to ask my circus obsessed friend about different routines and we bounced some ideas off each other. This is also a touch different than other things I’ve written, which is why I’ve been taking so long to work on it and get it posted. Enjoy!

Title comes from “Crater Lake” by Lady Lamb.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @neuvilleteismybby @fluffybunnyu @sinning-23 @the-angriest-angel (Imma just use this gif for the story because I really like it)

Chapter 2

One of his freaks retrieved you and put you in a cage. An actual bird cage. You were actually sitting in it for hours, wondering what was going to happen next. Were you going to die there or would someone take pity? Your hands were no longer bound at least but your head was hurting and you wanted something to eat and drink.

Someone showed up when you were starting to get desperate enough to scream for help. You had opened your mouth to start when Buggy came back in. It was hard to tell if his nose was swollen or not, but you didn’t want to comment. You glared at him as he pulled a chair over in front of the cage and sat back. He brought a cup and plate of food with him; your mouth watered at the sight. You needed something to eat and you were parched. He smiled at you as he picked up some grapes and held them up for you.

“Hungry?” He asked and you nodded. He popped one in his mouth and winked at you.

“You’re an ass!” You snapped. “What do you even want with me?”

“I think you’re cute.” He chuckled as he helped himself to a slice of banana. “But you have to earn your keep if you want to eat, y’know. I can’t just go feeding you and expect nothing in return.”

You glared at him as he ate another bit of banana. Your stomach was growling, you were willing to chew through the bars to get to him, but you were present when he made his last deal so maybe this was how it had to be: if he wanted something from you you’d have to make some kind of deal.

“What do you want from me then?” You asked, your eyes never leaving the plate of food. “I… I’ll do whatever you want.”

There was a look on his face for a millisecond, but you saw something there that you had seen before on the faces of men when told that, but the clown just grinned at you as he held a single grape out to you. You reached through the bars to grab it but he held it just out of reach.

“What kind of talents do you have?” He asked. “Sword swallowing? Juggling? Can you balance on a ball while playing an instrument?”

You stared at him as you stretched your arm out. He really was serious about you being a performer, but you had no talents. You couldn’t do anything he just listed, and you were pretty sure there wasn’t anything else you could do.

“God, just give me the fucking grape!” You snapped at him. “Just use me as target practice for all I care, but let me eat something!”

Buggy finally gave you the grape and grinned, leaning back in his seat. “Language, cupcake, language! I never knew a lady to have such a mouth.”

You popped the grape into your mouth as you glared at him. He held the plate up to you and you reached for it, but he pulled it back from you. What else did he want? You had no skills, nothing. You could barely cook, sew, anything when you were wed to your husband, so what did this clown expect from you? The only reason you had been wed to the old man was because he wanted it to happen, you had no say in the matter, and two years of absolute hell landed you in a bird cage being baited by a pirate.

“No skills at all, really?” He asked. You stared at the plate of food before looking at him. There was maybe one skill you had, but it wasn’t useful for the circus.

“I can swim.” You said as you reached once more for the plate. “I… I can hold my breath a long time.” He let you grab the plate and you pulled it back to you, devouring the pieces of cut up fruit. “Parents had a fishing business. I learned how to dive and hold my breath to collect things from the bottom. Probably the only thing I’m good at.” You sighed heavily and closed your eyes, feeling content as you ate. This was one of the best meals you ever had, you decided. “I mean, not much good when I’m on land.”

Buggy’s eyes lit up and he grinned.

“We have a tank.”

You refused the bikini you were offered. It barely covered anything and currently you weren’t keen to show your body off to anyone. Your face was one thing, but the time with your ex was hell and there were still fresh bruises on your body that you didn’t want on display. Another performer tried a different suit, one that covered more of your body, but you still refused. The Captain was getting frustrated by you already.

“Then go in there in your clothes if you’re going to be such a diva!” He snapped at you when you refused the third option: mermaid fins and a shell bikini top. You glared at him as the tank was filled with water and one of the freaks propped a ladder up to it.

“You want me in the tank then you’ll get me in there under my conditions, you asshole!” You snapped back. The crew collectively gasped; no one spoke to their Captain like that and lived. Buggy stomped over to you and you took an immediate step back, hands up as you looked away, ready for the hit. Instead, he just stood there and clenched his fists, taking a deep breath as he stomped his foot and pointed at the ladder.

“Get in there.” He ordered. “And show us what you can do.”

You took a deep breath and nodded, exhaling slowly as you walked over to the ladder. Maybe you could drown yourself in the tank. He didn’t know how long you could hold your breath for, only you did. You could push yourself past your limit, forget to come up, let him be haunted by your last moments.

You climbed to the top of the tank and reached in, letting your fingers dip into the cold water. One of the freaks sat at the top, holding a hand out to you and helping you get into the tank. You took a deep breath before sinking into the water; you turned in the tank to face Buggy, tapping on the glass to get his attention. He was still glaring at you, not appreciating being called an asshole just minutes before. You smirked at him as a few air bubbles escaped. One of the freaks pulled out a watch to time you.

Thirty seconds passed. Buggy didn’t look impressed.

45 seconds and he still looked bored.

A minute and 10 seconds and Buggy looked over at the freak timing you.

A minute and 45 seconds and he looked a little intrigued.

The two minute mark had him looking over at the freak again while you gave him a little wave.

Two and a half minutes and Buggy looked a little unsure if you were going to drown or not.

Three minutes and you winked at him. Maybe this was it. He didn’t know how long you could do this for.

Three minutes and thirty seconds and your lungs were starting to burn just a bit. You normally didn’t push it past three minutes.

And at four minutes it was getting harder to do it. Four minutes and ten seconds felt like an eternity. When it reached four minutes and twenty seconds, someone grabbed you by the back of the dress and pulled you to the surface. You gasped for air as you reached for the edge of the tank for support. The freaks cheered, whether for how long you held your breath or for not drowning, you didn’t know. The freak helped you out of the tank and passed you down to others that were waiting, some had towels that they were wrapping you in. No use having you get sick from your audition.

“Did you try to drown yourself to impress me or something?” Buggy demanded as one of the freaks dried your hair for you. “God, give you one act to audition for and you overdo it. Fucking diva.”

“Sorry I didn’t drown.” Your voice was muffled by the towel that was now over your face. They were overdoing it just a bit with helping you. “I’ll try harder next time.”

“Shut up about that!” Buggy snapped, but there was no bite to it. There was a note of worry, concern even. Did he think you were going to drown? “You got the gig, so I expect you to have a costume for your act when we perform next, got it?!” He stomped his foot and pointed at you. “Don’t pull a stunt like that again.”

You were a little surprised to hear the concern in his voice. He glared at you before stomping out of the tent, barking orders at the freaks to continue their routines while you were suddenly left alone, all hands gone that had been touching you just seconds before. You were covered in damp towels and you weren’t sure where to go or what to do.

Someone took pity on you and led you to one of the back rooms where everyone got ready. They found a top and pants that fit you, something dry at least, and you were able to duck behind a privacy screen to change while they waited. You didn’t know what to expect next. Were you somehow part of this crew now? Did you have freedom to roam? What if you just… left? But where would you go? Your family wouldn’t take you back because it would put them in danger of your ex finding and retrieving you. Was there somewhere else you could go to?

Joining the circus, however… if it meant you had a roof over your head and food in your belly, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you thought. Buggy was a little bit of a loose cannon, you weren’t sure what to think about him, and you didn’t appreciate him calling you a diva, but he hadn’t really laid a hand on you in any form of violence. You were the one to inflict pain on him when you headbutted him earlier, and you wondered if you should apologize to him for that.

Once you were dressed you stepped out from behind the screen. The freak was still waiting, looking at his nails in the light, looking for any dirt or scuffs. You cleared your throat and he looked up.

“I’m to bring you to Captain Buggy.” He told you.

“Why?” You asked, keeping some distance from him. “What does he want from me now?”

“He didn’t say.”

You didn’t like his answer. You didn’t want to meet with the captain. Your hair was still damp, you were cold, and you wanted more food. The freak looked at you expectantly, head jerking toward the door as though he expected you to follow now. What could you do? Nothing, so you sighed and nodded, following him as he led you out of the room and to another. When you stepped in you realized it was the one Buggy had found you in initially. He was sitting on the bed, taking his boots off. This must be his bedroom and you felt panic grip you. You grabbed the freak’s arm as he turned to leave.

“Don’t leave me here, please.” You begged. The freak just shrugged and left you in the room, shutting the door behind you. Was this it? Were you finally going to meet your end at the hands of this captain? You were so conflicted, you didn’t want to be here but you… didn’t want to die yet. You weren’t ready. That little stunt with the tank, where you wanted to drown, it wasn’t true. You weren’t ready to die but you’d sure as hell fight the captain if you needed to.

“Will you relax?” Buggy grumbled as he took his bandana off, shaking out his hair as it fell loose down his shoulders and back. “I have to find a place for you to sleep and the crews’ quarters are all full, so I’m going to get you a cot for my room.” He glanced over at you, noticing how you were frozen where you stood. “Look, I’m not going to hurt you, so fucking calm down.”

You stared at him for a moment before glaring at him. “You… you invite me to join and then you don’t even have room for me?! What was the point of all this?!”

“The point?” Buggy shot back. “The point was to get you out of that miserable situation you were in! Unless you liked being that old man’s punching bag? Did you? Because I can drop you back there if you want.” He paused for a moment as he looked at you, now smirking. “Oh, wait, you can’t. I destroyed his home with him in it. Oops.”

“Wait, what?”

“I don’t like abusive assholes like him.” Buggy told you as he stood up. “But if you really want to leave, then go. I don’t really care.”

You were trying to process what he just said to you. He blew up the house? With your ex still inside? If Buggy did that with little remorse, what else was he capable of?

Then again, where would you go? You didn’t want to return to your family. You… you wanted a change and this clown was offering it to you if you performed in his circus. Maybe it would be worthwhile in the end.

“I’ll… stay.” You mumbled. “Thank you. I’ll take the cot.”

“Good.” Buggy replied. “I hope you aren’t a light sleeper because I’ve been told I snore.”

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