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Williamson Holding

Hi guys!

Sooo this is a request from @holly-wallis and honestly it's massive. Like more than 14K words. It took me forever to do it, that's why I haven't post as much as before those last days/weeks.

I really hope that you will enjoy it. I proofread it two times but it's so big that I might have forgot some faults.

TW : Angst, Jealousy, Break up, One-side love, Game lost, mention of Covid. Reader is Leah Williamson's sister.

Gif credit for Caitlin’s one at @teenwolf-theoriginals

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You were an accident. Not really wanted at first, you were born 354 days after Leah, the 18 March 1998. Your parents weren’t ready to have a second child so early after the birth of their first daughter, but you never felt anything but love from them. People joke sometimes that they used the same recipe for Leah and for you. It’s true that you look a lot like her physically and for the character you have definitively some similar points too. You both are determined, loyal, funny, and very close of your family. But the person you are the closest is definitively Leah.

3 years after you, your brother Jacob is born. You like to joke about it and saying that they finally weren’t to traumatize by you more than that. Jacob is your brother, and you love him very much, but your relationship is different from the one with Leah. You like having time with him, but with him being away in Australia now, it’s a little bit harder.

Oh, and like Leah and your mother you’re an Arsenal fan, obviously.

You started football together, but you played the goalkeeper, letting Leah practicing striking and dribbling. You weren’t bad to be honest, but they was to many competition to be a goalkeeper and you decided during your teenager period to go for study instead of football.

You were great in it honestly; Leah sometimes asked you to do her homework when she came back too late from training. You’ll do it with pleasure, happy to help your big sister who paid you generously in candy. Or dried mango, your great passion.

On day after Leah turned 17, she made her big debut with Arsenal senior team. You were so proud of her, cheering her from the stand with all your family. It was very different of what it is now, but you already knew that she would make something amazing in football. And how much were you right.

It was at this period that Leah and you talked about a company that you could make together. Leah was studying accounting in case of her career wasn’t successful and you were very interested in marketing, publicity and human relations.

The Williamson Holding Corporation was founded in summer 2016, when you finished your tuition. You learned several languages (French, Spanish and Mandarin) during your free time and thanks to Leah and your parent’s financial help, you were able to start this adventure. Your company always were able to have a good profit every year. You were able to repay your parents already and Leah always refused, so you made her a founder, just like you.

Through the years, your company get a sponsorship with Arsenal and in particular Arsenal Women, obviously. Along the years, you managed to travel a lot to make your company known in other countries and find other financials, but you always managed to come back to see Leah play. You never missed one of her games, as crazy at it sound.

February 2020 – When you properly met Caitlin for the first time.

“Y/N! Sorry, can I borrow my sister for one second?”

Leah doesn’t wait for the answer to your interlocutor and takes your arm to drag you somewhere else. You let her though, secretly happy to have to finish this uninterested discussion with that weird man. You note mentally to be sure not to invite him to the next gala.

“Where’s the dead body?” you ask your sister who rolls her eyes.

“Don’t joke about it, we’ll get catch by Covid otherwise.”

You roll your eyes yourself, but don’t say anything. You just wait to your sister to stop at some time, for what she almost kidnapped you. You end up right in front of Caitlin Foord, the new signing for Arsenal. You already saw her to the games, you smirked when you caught her looking at you two time before realizing that you weren’t Leah, the first time she saw you. To her point, you were wearing Leah’s jersey.

“Cait, my sister. Sis, this is Caitlin.” Leah introduces you, before leaving you both to catch someone else.

“Uh, hello?” Caitlin mumbles with surprise, apparently not advertise that Leah were going to introduce you both.

“Hi” you giggle. “Nice to be properly introduced to you. Please excuse my sister, she isn’t the one who studied human relations.”

Your giggles and your joke help Caitlin to relax and you’re happy to see her smiling too.

“I can see that” Caitlin answers with her Australian accent.

You had a small talk with her about Australia, a country where you never been for now. You really looked to it though, and not only to have the opportunity to make your company bigger. Jacob and you always talked about going there for holidays. And after talking to Caitlin, you will definitively go to the east part of the country.

You were joined by Katie McCabe and the three of you started talking for a long time after that. Caitlin asked you several questions about your company and seems surprised to learn the amount of work you are putting in it.

“She’s a natural” Katie smirks “Everyone comes eat in her hand, she can make people do whatever she wants.”

You smirk back, raising an eyebrow while crossing your arms on your chest at the same time.

“Not everything with everyone.”

Katie doesn’t have the time to answer anyway, because Leah is back with her Williamson’s frown.

“No flirting with my teammates Y/N!”

“I wasn’t! I wouldn’t have any problem with Irish mafia.” you answer, thinking about Katie’s girlfriend.

You raise both of your hands to prove your innocence. Katie and you aren’t really flirting, it was more for fun and for joking with each other. Katie laughs while Leah hums for any answer and changed the subject just after that, training you, Katie and Caitlin in the discussion.

The night went great, and you are happy to be able to have some time with Leah’s teammates who are also your friends, especially the ones who are in the team since a long time. You get along pretty well with Caitlin too, who would accept really quickly to at least make a photoshoot and a sponsoring for your company. Unfortunately there is suddenly the lockdown and you weren’t able to do it before that.

October 2020 – The shooting

“Hi Y/N!”

You smile to the employee who greats you when you enter the building where the photoshoot for Caitlin was attending. Being at every single one is something you do every time, so your employees aren’t surprised to see you coming. You great them back, asking around if everything is fine with everyone. It seems to be, so you go to find Caitlin.

The Australian girl is just coming out of the room where she changed her clothes and find herself right in front of you.

“Oh hi! I didn’t know you will come.”

“I like to be here for this kind of things” you answer with a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m fine thank you” she smiles back.

“Y/N are you ok if we start?” the photographer asks.

“Of course. I’m going to sit here.”

You look at your phone on the way, answering a message from one of your managers before sitting on a chair some meters away from the different cameras. Caitlin doesn’t seem to be at ease at first, but soon she finds her way. You have a perfect and entirely trust in your team, but you have already red too much time how people can make other bad with their comportment, and you clearly don’t want that in your company. That’s why you don’t have a lot of employees too. That and the fact that you love have the control on everything.

After several shots, the photographer decides to make a break and you come over to see what the pictures look like. They are great to be honest.

“I really love this one” you smile, pointing one of the pictures.

Caitlin’s blue eyes are really showing in it. You haven’t realized how blue they are since now to be honest. You then raise your gaze on the girl, just to cross the same blue.

“I think this is my favorite too.”

You hum, before congratulating the photographer for her job. It’s the first time she does it for you, but you will certainly ask her to work for you again. She’s young, like you, and you like the idea to help young people to start in their life. Provided they deserve it, of course.

They take other pictures after that, and you choose five of them to post on the social media.

“Do you want to go to eat something?” you ask Caitlin when everything is finished.

You don’t always have the time to do it with everyone, but when you can, you do it. Like you said before, almost every girl in Arsenal is your friend. You know some of them more, like Jen Beattie, Katie McCabe, or Lia Wälti who are the closest to Leah to be honest. But you like all of them. You didn’t have the time to meet Steph Catley for now though. It probably will be coming soon.

Caitlin accepted your offer, and you take her to one of your favorite restaurants.

“I didn’t expect to eat at Nando’s to be honest” Caitlin smiles after you sat at your table.

“Oh” you answer, looking up from the menu you know by heart. “We can go somewhere else if you want, I thought – “

“No, it’s perfect here. I like it. I used to go there with my Mum and my sister a lot back in Australia.”

You smile softly, relaxing a little bit. People seems to forget sometimes that you are still a young woman who can enjoy eating burger or fries with her fingers.

“How are you settling in London?” you ask after the waiter came to take your command.

“Good, actually. The rain is something else, but the girls are great.”

“I heard you especially like the Swiss part” you smirk.

You laugh when Caitlin blushes. Leah told you about Lia and Caitlin relationship several weeks ago, when they start to date officially. You don’t have to tell Caitlin how you know it though; the girl understands it really quickly.

“Leah talks too much” she smiles nevertheless. “What about you? Are you seeing someone?”

“Not for now” you shake your head, adding when you see Caitlin’s questioning look. “I mean I had some dates slash fling with someone but it’s hard to be in a relationship while working so much. Girls seems to have a hard time understanding I will pass my family and my job before something else. I can understand though, so it’s better for me to be single for now.”

“I didn’t know you were into girls too. You really are Leah’s copy.”

“Maybe” you smile.

Your sister is your favorite person ever. You will never be upset to be compared to her. In your eyes, she’s the most amazing person in the world.

“I am lucky to be able to see her so much. I won’t be able to deal with it as good as you do.”

“It’s very hard sometimes. Because of the lockdown and all I wasn’t able to go back to Australia. I haven’t seen them for almost a year now…”

You wince at the sadness suddenly present in Caitlin’s eyes, regretting to have point this. You are interrupted by the waiter and your meal coming for you, but you excuse yourself anyway.

“I’m sorry to bring it up. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know, don’t worry” Caitlin smiles softly. “I will see them soon now.”

You look into Caitlin’s eyes for some more seconds to be sure that she’s saying the truth, before nodding slowly. She seems to be honest, and you are really relieved. Starting a friendship like this would have been the worst way. You finally smile back and report your attention on your plate just after Caitlin did.

The following of the conversation is a little easier, talking about Arsenal helps a lot. You talk to Caitlin about all the little things she maybe didn’t know for now and learn a lot of things about her and her past. She talked to you about her childhood and the financial difficulties her mother had, raising two children as a single mom. That makes you realize one more time how lucky you are to be where you are now. This kind of stories remember you about it and it’s never enough in your opinion.

October 2021 – The surprise

Unlike Caitlin was hopping, she wasn’t able to see her family as much as she wanted. She went in Switzerland with Lia though and told you that it was a very great time. You thought about her sometimes, remembering the trouble her eyes did to you, but you erased this kind of thoughts very quickly. Caitlin was in a happy relationship and there is no way you even look at a no-single lady.

You managed to build a friendship with her though and you sometimes went out with her, Lia, and Leah. You had a great time every time and you decided that it was perfect for you like this.

Caitlin opened herself to you about missing her family, but the tickets to come in London from Australia were expensive and you know that she doesn’t mean it like that, but you don’t think twice before contacting Caitlin’s sister and offering to them the tickets. They refuse at first, but you managed to find the good words. And, not for the situation being strange, you included Lia in the surprise.

After all, Caitlin was your friend and Lia was her girlfriend.

The Swiss woman went to the airport to take Jamie and her mother back to Caitlin home. Leah asked the team to put some interview or media things for Caitlin at the right time, to let you and her decorate Caitlin’s house with the most too much decoration ever. There is a banner writing “Surprise” on it, yellow and green balloons, an Australian flag, and you even managed to find a kangaroo balloon who is floating around the living room.

“That’s so kitsch. I love it” Leah smirks.

You giggle while looking around. You have to admit that you made a great job together. Two seconds after, Lia and the two Foord were coming inside the house. After some greetings and hugs, they looked at the decoration and approve it too.

“So, I guess this is our time to leave.” Leah says while looking at you.

You nod and prepare yourself to take your things to leave. It was without counting on Caitlin’s mother opinion.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Simone asks with her Australian accent. “You helped to do that; you’re definitively staying.”

“But – “ you start.

“No but.”

You see Jamie, Caitlin’s sister, rolling her eyes at her mother antics, but you don’t have time to say something else because Lia comes, running from the entrance where she was looking outside.

“She’s here! Hide!”

After a moment of panic, Jamie and Simone hide behind the couch while Leah and you went to the kitchen. Two seconds later, the door is open.

“Lia? You’re home?” Caitlin asks.

“In the living room, Love.”

You hear the characteristic sound of keys dropping on a wood furniture and Caitlin walking to the living room. You can’t help but peek in the room, Leah doing exactly the same thing a second after, her head above yours.

“Surprise!”

Caitlin probably had a heart attack, but you can’t help but smile seeing her face. Lia is doing the same thing while Jamie and Simone went to hug the shocked girl. You smirk seeing Leah getting emotional, what’s coast you a slap on the head. You send her the Williamson’s glare, but she doesn’t seem to be impress by at for a single second. Which probably make sense.

After some tears and explications, Leah proposed to serve the Champagne she choose to celebrate the reunion. Your sister and you try to escape one more time to let the Foord in family, but Simone doesn’t let you one more time.

It’s a little bit later that you find yourself alone with Caitlin, while you were looking for something alcohol free to drink.

“Lia told me what you did. I don’t have the words to thank you enough.”

Of course, Lia isn’t the kind of girl to take credits for something she hasn’t done. You smile and shrug at Caitlin.

“You don’t have to. I was happy to do that for you.”

Caitlin bites her lip and looks in your eyes.

“You know, when I mention that the tickets were expensive…”

“I know you weren’t saying it for me to do that, Cait. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

“Ok.”

You smile again and were ready to go back to the living room, but Caitlin surprises you by giving you a hug. You weren’t expecting it to be honest, but it’s still pleasant. You hug her back, tightening her briefly against you.

“Thank you” she mumbles.

“You’re welcome.”

Spring 2022 – The Breakup

“Caitlin and Lia broke up”

“What?”

You stop your movement, your chopsticks between your mouth and your plate. You were having dinner with Leah in her house, like every Monday when you are in London. Leah snorts when the noodles fall back in your plate, making some sauce splash your shirt, but that’s not what you are concentrating on.

“What do you mean they broke up?”

Leah shrug et finish her chicken before answering you.

“It happened this weekend, Lia called me Sunday evening.”

“What happened?”

You were shocked. Lia and Caitlin seem to get along very well the last time you saw them.

“Nothing much. Lia said they just went apart and that her relationship was more comfortable than passionate now.”

“So, they’re ok?”

“I don’t really know for Caitlin. But Lia was still very upset about it. They are still friends and care for each other obviously, but they aren’t a couple anymore.”

You frown only, not really sure what to do about this information. Lia was a good friend of yours and you kind of have avoided Caitlin since you make her family come to England. You realized that day that you were too impacted with her happiness to be only a friend. In your mind, she was with Lia and this relationship would be like forever. It was to protect yourself too, falling for someone who isn’t single isn’t really your thing.

“Did you have news from Caitlin?”

“No” you answer, eating again. “I mean I saw her at the last games but that’s all.”

“Mh.”

“What?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing.”

“‘k.”

Several hours later, you were on your bed, your phone in your hand and the conversation with Caitlin opened. It wasn’t used since your birthday, Caitlin sent you a message to wish you happy birthday, but nothing since that.

Writing to her isn’t a good idea, even if she’s single now, she still in a middle of a breakup. But you still can be a good friend to her, right? You just have to put your feelings away.

From You Hi Caitlin, I heard about your breakup by Leah. I just wanted to tell that if you need someone to talk or something, don’t hesitate to call or write me, ok? I hope you’re ok. Take care of you.

You feel stupid to send her something like that after reading it again. It’s kind of cliché and you hate it. But surprisingly, Caitlin answers you relatively quickly.

From Caitlin Hello, thanks for your message. I will do and I hope you are ok too.

You bite your lips, not really happy about the answer. But in another way, what could you have expected? You didn’t really talk since last year and you were avoiding her like the plague. It’s only your fault.

After that day, you keep checking more frequently with Caitlin, asking her if she needs anything and how she is feeling. From what she answers, she was around a lot with Jordan and Katie. Your sister broke up some weeks ago with Jordan after longs years together, so that’s maybe the explanation of why Leah stays a little away of Caitlin.

You start to talk a lot and when Caitlin starts to be the first to write you can’t help but feel a strange something in your stomach. You also went to eat or drink something, your friendship slowly beginning to start again. You have to admit that you missed her. But she never said or show you anything to make you think that she missed you the way you do.

You think it’s better to have her in your life as a friend than not to have her, though.

Autumn 2022 – The New Season

You never missed a single match from Leah’s team since she plays for Arsenal, so there was no way that you will miss this one too. It’s the first game of the new season and you just came back from your holidays. You went some days with Leah in Ibiza before flying to Dubai with a friend.

You just have time to go home, take a shower and put your Arsenal jersey before coming to the stadium.

“Here she is!” Leah says happily when she sees you.

She hugs you like you haven’t seen each other in months and not ten days. But you hug her back, kissing her cheek before she releases you.

“Someone got a tan” she smirks, taking a step back to have a better look at you.

Unlike Leah, you have the ability to tan. Leah just gets red when she exposed herself without protection. You roll your eyes but don’t respond anything, your attention being catch by a certain Australian striker coming in your direction, five steps away from Leah now.

“And you’re not with your girlfriend?” Leah asks, a teasing smirk always on her face.

“Girlfriend?”

By now Caitlin is just next to Leah and was able to hear your sister. You roll your eyes at her antics before answering.

“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s a friend.”

You frown when Leah snorts and left saying something like “yeah sure”. You watch her leave several seconds before turning to Caitlin.

“She’s not my girlfriend” you say again.

You don’t know why you feel the need to assure that to Caitlin, she probably doesn’t give a single shit about it. In fact, she smiles at you and pass an arm around you to salute you. You didn’t talk a lot a lot during those ten days, the different timetables were insane.

“It’s good to see you” she says before letting you go.

“Good to see you too. How is the comeback from Australia?”

“Still a little jet lag, but I’m fine.”

You smile at her and take the time to really look at her. You don’t do it a lot, scared to fall for her again. I mean, harder. Because now that you have thought about it a little more, you remembered that Leah always told you not to even flirt with one of her teammate. Falling in love with one of them would be worse than everything. You know that she will react very badly to you in a relationship with one of them. You are scared to lose her; Leah will probably never forgive you if she learns that you are in love with Caitlin.

“You look good” you smile sincerely at her.

“Thanks”

You both hear someone calling her on the back, the drills are going to begin, and she has to go.

“Hey, are you still in London tomorrow?” she asks suddenly.

“Yes, why?”

“There is a new place near mine, and they are making brunch who look stunning. Do you want to come?”

“Sure” you smile. “Text me the address and the time.”

After a nod and a smile, she’s gone where she’s needed. The game went great, they got an easy win. And you try to stay impartial when Caitlin got carded.

Christmas 2022 – The New Delivery service

You were at your parent’s house with all your family, without counting Jacob who stayed in Australia this year. Your mother was sad but thanks to a long video call during the moment when you all opened your presents, she seems a little less sad about it. You eat way too much, drink maybe a little too much too. That’s why your mother more or less forbade you to take your car to go home.

Leah stayed too and you are both chilling in one of your parents’ couch with a hot tea. Some Christmas movie is on TV, but you are in a food coma and can’t really focus on it to be honest. You are cuddling against Leah who is playing with your hair.

“Have you heard from Caitlin those days?” your sister asks suddenly.

“We said Merry Christmas to each other this morning, but I guess she’s sleeping now given the time. Why you ask?”

The friendly relationship you have with Caitlin is known by a lot of your friends and family now. And despite all your efforts, you are now deeply in love with her. Seeing her at least both a week don’t help, but you can’t help yourself. When you’re not asking, Caitlin proposes you something and you can’t say no to her.

She told you during autumn that she doesn’t feel very well in her life sometimes, so you made the statement to keep an eye on her.

“She asks to have a mental break. I’m not sure when or if she will come back from Australia. She will miss the first trainings for sure.”

“She didn’t say anything to me” you frown.

She doesn’t have to, to be fair. You are just friends, you’re not her best friend or her sister. She doesn’t owe you anything. But you are still worried.

Later, in your room, you are thinking about a way to send her a message. You don’t want to accuse her of anything or make her feel more pressure. You don’t want to take a place you don’t have too, you sometimes wonder if she’s not having something with Jordan, which would be a little strange maybe. But once again, she doesn’t owe you anything.

From You Hey, I’m sorry if you feel that it’s not my place to ask. But Leah told me that you needed a mental break, so I was wondering if you were ok?

You wait some minutes before thinking again and realizing the stupidity of your message.

From You Forget my question, it was stupid. You asked for a mental break, of course you’re not ok Can you forget those messages please?

You stop there not to look even more strange. You cringe when you throw your phone somewhere on your bed before deciding to go take a long and hot shower. You roll your eyes when your father menace you to make you pay their hot water bill but don’t say anything other than a “Sorry Dad”.

You smile when you hear Leah laughing from her room, before going back to your childhood bedroom. You have a double bed since you are eighteen so you can lay down crosswise it in your towel and look at the ceiling how you want. You soon start to think about how weird your messages to Caitlin were, so you take your phone again.

Just to see that you have two missed calls from Caitlin.

You call her back without waiting a single second, putting your headphone while you wait for her to answer. You realize that it was a FaceTime call only when she answers you with a black screen.

“Hello” she says in a sad voice.

You may be only imagining that because you learned about her need of a mental break only two hours ago.

“Hi. Sorry I missed your calls.”

“Don’t worry. Were you in the shower?”

“How do you know?” you frown.

“You literally are in a towel?”

You lower your eyes on your body and facepalm mentally. If you had one pound every time you humiliate yourself in front of her, you would have been way richer by now.

“Oh shit. Can you wait for a second?”

She hums and you put your phone on the bed to put a shirt and some panties, mentally insulting yourself. You take the time to take a big breath before going back in your bed and taking your phone in your hand.

“Are you still in bed?” you ask, curious about the black screen.

“No, I’m still in my room though. I just… I don’t know. It was stupid to me to call you in FaceTime.”

“Don’t worry. How are you feeling?”

“I’m tired. Like mentally tired. Being at home made me realize that I don’t have a lot keeping me at London right now.”

That hurt. But you don’t say anything, planting your nails deep into the skin of your palms.

“What are you talking about? You have friends here; the girls of the team love you. And the fans too.”

“The fans aren’t really happy of me right now, I’m not able to score a lot and making my job right. I keep disappointing everyone.”

“You have the right to feel a little uneasy, that doesn’t take away from you what you achieved those last months, you know.”

Caitlin doesn’t answer, but you hear her sight a little bit. You don’t know if it’s something to hide some tears and you feel your heart break a little imagining that. You let several seconds pass before talking again.

“What can make you feel better right now?”

“For real? One of the brunches we eat.”

You smile hearing that. The place next to her house became one of your favorite spots to eat together. You really love it too, maybe because you share a lot of secrets and laughs here.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing.”

You are lying. An idea had already pop in your head and you feel your brain running while you’re planning something in your head. Caitlin knows you enough to realize that you are up to something. You hear some shuffling, and you imagine that Caitlin just sits on her bed.

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing” you answer, smiling.

“Y/N. Don’t you dare do something stupid.”

You did. The morning after the call, you went to the restaurant, took Caitlin usual command, and jump in the jet who belongs to your company. You don’t usually use it for long trip like this, but you wanted to be in Australia as soon as possible.

You feel a little bit stupid with your suitcase and the bag where Caitlin’s food is. You ask for it to be wrap carefully and explain that you want to take it on a trip, without mentioning it was a very long trip. Thanks to the fridge, you are sure that you won’t poison Caitlin.

You told to Leah that you have an urgent meeting somewhere in Australia with a possible investor that you can’t ignore. She’s a little bit gutted not to be able to pass New Year with you, but you promised to bring her some Lamington to eat with her tea. In fact, you’re not really lying, you do have someone who is interested by your company in Australia. You just aren’t really obliged to travel here to talk to him.

You swallow with difficulty when you are in front of Caitlin’s porch, hopping that you won’t have to face her mother or her sister. You didn’t mention to Caitlin that you were coming, so if she wants you to go away, you just will. You still have some things to do in Australia, you weren’t totally lying to Leah. You just hide the fact that your priority was to see Caitlin.

You take a big breath before knocking on the door. This is a bad idea. Maybe the worst idea you never had. Why are you so good in your job and so stupid when it concerns the girl you are in love with?

But you don’t have the possibility to stress even more, because soon the door is opening. Caitlin looks at you like you are a hallucination or something.

“Um. I have a delivery for miss Foord?”

You let your suitcase in the car you rent, so you just have the bag with the food in your hand. You lift it to show it to her and it doesn’t take her more than a second to recognize the logo.

“Y/N, what the hell?” she mumbles, taking it in her hand.

“I… Uh. Well, I have stuff to do in Australia for the company and I thought that because I’m on this part of the globe, it could be great to please you.”

You’re lying. And very bad. Caitlin is looking at you like you are crazy, and you can’t blame her, you made a 24 hours journey to take her some breakfast and see her. She’s not supposed to know the truth, but you feel like she has some suspicions. You feel yourself blush and offer her a small smile.

“I better go. Enjoy your food and see you later.”

Maybe you’ll go let yourself die in the middle of the Australian’s desert. With a little luck, some snake or scorpions are going to come to bite you and you will die in atrocious suffering.

“No, wait!”

She grabs your arm with her hand, and you turn in her direction. She’s looking at you with a strange gaze, that you don’t know from her.

“Do you want to drink something? We don’t have Earl Grey, but I still can make you a tea if you want to.”

“Ok” you smile softly.

Caitlin doesn’t let your arm go and took you inside. It’s very quiet and after several seconds you ask her if her mother or sister are here. She answers no, her sister is now leaving with her fiancé and her mother is working today. You nod, secretly relieved to know that you won’t have to face Simone for now. You’re pretty sure that she understood when you saw her the last time the real feelings you have for her daughter.

“Where are you staying?” Caitlin asks while you look at her making you a cup of tea.

“At Park Hyatt”

“In Sydney?”

You hum and she frowns while giving you the cup of tea. It’s fuming and because you are drinking a lot of tea, she knows that you like it with sugar and milk.

“And you wanted to go back in Sydney just after giving me the brunch?”

“Brunch that you aren’t eating, by the way.”

Realizing it, Caitlin takes the bag one more time before taking out the different packages. She still looking at you discreetly, but you busy yourself by drinking your tea.

New Year 2022-2023 – The New Beginning

Caitlin proposes to you to stay at her home and not to go to your hotel, but you refused. You don’t want to bother Caitlin or her mother. That doesn’t mean you don’t see Caitlin; in fact, you see her every day for several hours.

She even invited you to come to the party her friends are making for the New Year. You accepted, after asking her several times if she’s sure that you won’t be a burden. The third time you ask, she threatened to knock you out with her vegemite pot, so you stopped.

And when you’re not with Caitlin, you work. You don’t have the possibility to see your brother who is on the other side of Australia. You almost lost consciousness when you learned that it takes 41 hours by car to get to Perth. So, you promise Jacob that you will see him before going back to England. Still with your jet.

You call Leah and your mother every day, but you are still focused on your goal to make Caitlin comes back to London with you. She seems a little down to be honest, but she seems to be better day after day. It gives you hope.

“Would you like to stay her to sleep tonight?” Caitlin asks on the 31th December while you were sitting next to her on the couch.

“Oh… I don’t know, I still have my hotel room.”

“Come on, it’s like 2 hours from here. And if you drink, I would rather that you stay here. My Mother will sleep in one of her friend’s houses anyway.”

“Yeah, ok” you mumble. “Wouldn’t let you all alone I case you’ll be scared.”

You can see Caitlin’s smile from the corner of your eyes. You hate the pleasant feeling with the fact that she seems to care about you. One thing is sure, this trip doesn’t help you about how in love you are with this girl.

You never talked so much with Caitlin before now, and you never were so close of her. Like right now, you are watching TV and Caitlin’s legs are on yours. You put your hand on the knees of the Australian like it’s nothing, mechanically drawing shapes on it. Sometimes she put her head on your shoulder, and you have to concentrate yourself to stay cool about it.

You grab something to eat before going to take a shower and prepare for the party. You know that they would have been pictures of the night so you tell Leah that Caitlin invites you to pass the night with her and her friends, you know your sister would have been worried to learn that you are alone tonight. Or sad. And you don’t want any of it.

To be honest, you haven’t taken an outfit for the party, you thought that you would be alone in your hotel room. So, you have to shop in Sydney to find the right one. You were getting ready in Jamie’s old bedroom and were looking at yourself with skepticism when Caitlin comes to knock on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Yep” you simply answer.

She enters the room, and you want to cry. You always had something for her with her hair down and with the outfit she chooses, she’s just breathtaking.

“You look stunning” you say, without thinking about the consequences.

You are surprised to see her blush and hide your smirk by finishing to style your hair.

“Can we take a picture for my sister?” you ask to the Australian woman.

She nods and you briefly hesitate between a selfie or a mirror picture. You choose the second one, posing with a smile and the V-form with your fingers while Caitlin is sticking out her tongue.

You send the picture to Leah with Caitlin looking above your shoulder. The proximity makes your heartbeat faster, but you try to keep it cool one again.

“Are you ready to go?”

You follow Caitlin outside and in the Uber you command to go to her friend’s house. Knowing you both will be drinking, it’s safer this way. You already met some of Caitlin’s friends during your stay and they all are very friendly. But tonight, they will be more of them. The house is pretty crowded already when you arrived, and you are relieved to feel Caitlin grabs your arm.

“Stay next to me, yeah?”

You thank the World for Caitlin being a little shy at first and making her able to understand that you might not feeling ok surrounded by a lot of stranger people. You take the excuse to cross the house to slip your hand in hers. Her hand is soft and warm, and you miss the feeling when you have to let her go.

Caitlin introduces you to some of her friend’s you haven’t met for now. And if you notice the interested and non-subtle look of one of them, you act like you don’t realize it at first. But then, she starts to talk to you so much that you almost don’t have the possibility to pass time with Caitlin.

At some point, you even lose sight of her. And you don’t like the idea, what if someone get close to her? In the way you dream of it? You don’t know if you would support it to be honest, not after being so close of her.

“Come on, let’s dance!” Julia tells you, taking you away of your thoughts.

She takes you on the part of the house being dedicated for the dancefloor and you follow her without saying anything. You look around to see if you can see Caitlin, but it seems like she’s not here. You distract yourself by dancing with Julia who is a pretty good dancer to be honest.

At some point, she comes closer to you to be able to be heard through the loud music. Her hand is on your hips and her mouth right next to your ear.

“It’s a shame that you live so far away. I really would like to know you better.”

You sigh internally, wondering how someone can flirt with you with such facilities when you can’t even make a hint for Caitlin to understand how much you care for her. You don’t have time to answer anything, because there is suddenly someone taking your arm and you recognize the softness of those hand before turning around.

“Mind if I take her back?” Caitlin asks.

Julia raises both of her hand in sign of surrender with a smile. She says something like “Talk to you later” but you don’t really listen to her, your eyes being plunged in Caitlin’s one.

She looks upset, but her voice is calm when she speaks to you.

“I’m going outside. Would you come with me?”

“Sure” you smile softly.

She hadn’t let go of your arm, but you pass your other around it to be sure not being separated from her during your journey to the door. You feel pathetic but you’ll do anything to be able to be close from her. Everyone seems to be here by now and the house is very crowded. With the music, the laughs, and the discussions, going outside is finally a good idea.

There is no one in the garden and the fresh air makes you shiver. But you prefer to be concentrated on Caitlin who has a wrinkle between her eyebrows from frowning. She sits on a low wall, and you follow her to stand next to her, looking at the moon to forget how much you want to touch her.

“Are you ok?” you ask after several minutes of silence.

“I am” she only answer, looking at the horizon.

It seems to you that she is not, but you don’t say anything else. You thought that she asked you to come with her to talk or something, but it seems like you were wrong. Caitlin doesn’t stay silence for long though, turning suddenly in your direction.

“No, in fact I’m not.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m trying to figure out things, and I can’t. And I really need to do it now because otherwise I think I’m really going to become crazy.”

She seems angry and desperate at the same time. She’s talking with her arms, a thing that she usually doesn’t. Hopping to help her to relax a little, you come near her, putting your hand on her knee.

“You can tell me everything, you know that right?”

She sighs, passing a hand on her face. You have the feeling to understand what she think, and that it’s the fact that she doesn’t know where to begin.

“I just… You came here from your appointment but you brought me food just because I mentioned the day before.”

“Yes” you confirm quietly.

It’s maybe better for you not to precise that you went to your appointment because you came here. This feels maybe a little creepy.

“And you told me that you start writing me and talking to me more because you heard by Leah that I was struggling after my breakup with Lia.”

“Yes” you say again.

“Why did we stop talking by the way? It looks like suddenly we grow apart?”

You shrug only, not knowing what to answer to her. You obviously take care not to cross her eyes when you answer.

“Why did you come back anyway? After my breakup?”

“Because I care for you” you answer, looking at her carefully.

“I think I need to know how much you care about me” she says slowly, and you are happy to be in the dark because your cheeks are bright red. “Please, Y/N. Because sometimes I feel like you like me as a friend and sometimes, I feel like there is more than that. But when I tell myself that, you kind of back off and everything is strange and blur again. Just like tonight, I thought that we would pass the night together, but you kept dancing with Julia and I understand because she’s fun and beautiful. But I hated to see you with her, and everything is… blur. And I really need to understand.”

It's your turn to stay silence, because where the hell could you start. You are not closed to answer to her questions, but you are scared because what you have seems so fragile to you.

“Are you interested in me more than a friend?” she finally asks.

Well, maybe you should have talk before because this question is very difficult to answer. Not because you don’t know the answer but because it can change anything. You swallow your saliva with difficulty before answering. You can’t lie to her.

“Yes. I am.” you mumble.

You hear Caitlin taking a big breath before expiring and you just can’t look at her. You hear the people inside getting excited and you wonder if it’s because it will soon be midnight.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Caitlin asks quietly.

“Because I care about you! At first you were in a relationship, and you seemed so happy in it and why in the world would I be between someone and their happiness? Then you broke up with Lia and you seemed so sad and so lost, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you in any way.”

You were talking fast, and loud, the feelings of all of it taking over the rest. You were struggling too, so much, but it was easier anyway to keep all of those feelings inside.

“And now? Why didn’t you say anything?”

You sigh and shrug. You just admitted that you were basically in love with her since day one, what can be worse than that anyway?

“Because I prefer to have you in my life as a friend than to take the risk to lose you.”

There is a moment of silence and just before Caitlin start to talk again, you hear the other people starting to count the seconds before midnight and the New Year.

“You are an idiot.”

10… 9… 8…

You hear Caitlin talk and even if the words could have been harsh, you have the feeling that she is smiling. You just have to look at her to see that she actually is, not her big toothy smile, but the small one. Her smirk.

“What?” you ask.

“You’re an idiot, Y/N Williamson.”

7…6…5…

Caitlin jumps from the small wall she was sitting on to come closer to you. You are frozen, you just watch her move to be right in front of you. You can smell her perfume, see how much her eyes are blue. She looks at your eyes too, before that her eyes drop on your lips.

4…3…2…

She cups your jaw with her hand, so tenderly that you just want to melt only with that gesture. Your heart almost went out of your body when you realize that she’s leaning to you, still letting you the possibility to back off if you want to.

You don’t want to.

1…0

Just when your lips met, the firework of the city irrupts in the sky, being a pretty good metaphor of what you’re feeling inside right at this moment. You are finally kissing the girl you are in love with and she’s kissing you back. She even put her hand in your back to press you against her while her other hand left your jaw to be on your neck.

When the air became an issue, you press your forehead against hers, without being able to suppress the big smile on your face. When you open your eyes, you see that she’s looking at you, offering a shy smile.

“Do you want to go home? To talk about all of this?”

“Talking?” you smile softly.

“Well, maybe kissing too, a little bit.”

16 August 2023 – The World Cup

You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s the semi-finale of the Women World Cup in Australia and your national team, England just won it place for the finale against Spain. You distractedly prevent your sister from jumping from excitement, so as not to make her knee injury worse. You would probably have been happier about the results if Leah were on the pitch, to be honest.

You are looking at your girlfriend’s silhouette, sitting on the floor. You can’t express how much you would like to go on the pitch and hug her tightly. You know how much this game meant for Caitlin and the rest of her team. Seeing her away from you from only several meters when you weren’t able to see her from almost two months is hard too.

You chose to hide your relationship with Caitlin to anyone around you, except Caitlin’s mother who definitively can read way to easily into people. So, you weren’t able to explain to your sister why you felt so moody those past days, the distance between you and Caitlin being hard to deal with. You can’t explain how much you missed her. Even if you call each other every day, it wasn’t the same.

You were busy helping Leah with her injury though, taking her to every single of her appointment, letting Lia Wälti doing it when you weren’t able to. Since Caitlin left, you went to live to Leah’s. And when your big sister told you that she was coming to Australia to the match, you came too. You even were able to see your brother this time.

After the game, Leah took you to the locker room to meet her teammates and you hug the ones playing to Arsenal. And Alessia Russo, who is coming for the new season too. You were talking to Mary Earps when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Excusing yourself, you get out the locker room to answer when you see Caitlin’s ID on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Are you still in the stadium?”

“Yes. Where are you?”

“I just went back to my hotel room. Everyone is so sad, I can’t look at them right now.”

You pout, hearing that said sadness in Caitlin’s voice too. You can easily imagine her on her bed, still her Matilda’s jogging.

“I’m so sorry Babe” you whisper in your phone, looking around you to be sure that no one is around. “You played great and I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks” she mumbles before adding “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, so so much. When are you going back to London?”

“Two days after the game against Sweden. They still want to make a celebration about all of it in Sydney. Are you still staying to watch the finale?”

“Yes, Leah got us tickets. I’m going back the day after though; would you like to go back with me instead?”

She hums only and you’re not sure that she really understands what you ask her. You are not angry or hurt anyway, you know that she has to deal with the lost and the sadness of it. You just want to make her feel better.

One hour later, you were waiting for her to answer to you in front of her door. You managed to sneak inside the hotel and left Leah with Keira and Georgia. You are not sure that she realized you were missing, so happy to be able to pass time with some of her closest friends.

You knock again when you realized that no one is answering, not too hard. You don’t want to attract anybody’s attention. You were tense, scared to be seen by someone. Thanks God, Caitlin finally opens her door and looks at you like she’s seeing a ghost.

“Are you alone?” you whisper.

“Yes, but…”

Just like her mother would say, no but. You entered the room and immediately pass your arms around her neck to kiss her. Caitlin needs several seconds to realize what is happening before kissing you back.

“What are you doing here?” she asks gently when you release each other.

“I missed you. And you are sad and being just dozens of meters away from you without being able to talk to you killed me.”

Caitlin smile sadly, taking your hand to make you sit on her bed. Unlike you were thinking, she changed her clothes and is wearing a short with a hoodie. It feels very soft when you take her against you to hug her. You close your eyes, letting yourself invade by her sent.

“I was looking at you every time I was able to. You are hot in a jersey, but yellow would have suits you better than white.”

She pulls gently on the white t-shirt you’re wearing, a number eight with Williamson on the back, of course. You smile softly, kissing her temple. She snuggles closer to you, passing on of her leg on your own.

“Have you eaten something?” you ask.

“Nah. I’m not really hungry for now.”

“What about a bath?”

“I already took a shower.”

“Ok, I’m asking the question again. What about a bath with me?” you ask after a sigh.

You feel her smirk against you, and she sit on the bed to be able to look at you.

“You mean I’ll have the possibility to get you away from this horrible jersey and having you naked against me by the same move? I’ll be crazy to say no.”

You roll your eyes and throw a cushion at her before getting up from the bed. You then go to the bathroom to start running the water, waiting patiently to find the right temperature. You check your phone just to be sure that Leah isn’t looking for you when the tube is getting filled, and then you go back to Caitlin in the room.

“It’s ready when you are Babe.”

You give her both hands to help her to get up from the bed, which she doesn’t hesitate to take. But, as she gets up from the bed, she’s not following you to the bathroom like you thought she would. She passes her arms around your shoulder, holding you tight against her.

Understanding what she needs, you hold her back, even firmer against you. You are higher from several centimeters from her, not so much though. But you like the way she can easily hide her face in your neck without taking strange position. You rock her softly, kissing her cheeks and her hair several times, only to release her when she’s ready.

“Thanks for coming here for me” she whispers against your skin.

“Every time” you smile sincerely, looking tenderly at her.

She smiles back and cup your chin with her hand, before following you to the bathroom this time. You try to make her go alone in the tub; you really just want her to relax. But you finish with her in it, massaging slowly her back.

You know her team has special masseurs and that they are definitively way more skillful that you are. But seeing how your girlfriend has her eyes closed and let you do whatever you want, it must not be unpleasant. Except that the moan and whispers she’s making are making you think about something else, and please everyone forgive you, but you don’t had sex for two months and your girlfriend is naked in front of you.

“Why d’you stop?” Caitlin mumble with a pout.

You are glad that she’s sitting in front of you and that she can’t see your face, because you are bright red once again. You don’t want to take advantage of her, she’s upset and tired. You kiss her shoulder though, getting her hair out of the way. You love her with her hair down. Have you already mentioned it?

“Isn’t it time for great footballer to go to bed?”

She groans and turn around to face you. You are trying hard to just look at her face and not being distracted by everything else. But then she sits on your lap, and you have to get out of the water right now.

“Why are you so tense?” she frowns. “You may be the one needing a massage.”

You laugh softly and decide to be honest with her since not talking about your feelings made you lost time before. And you are a very bad liar. You bite your bottom lip before answering.

“I haven’t seen you in like two whole months, which mean that I haven’t touch you from two months, Caitlin. And you are naked on me and I’m really trying to be a good and caring girlfriend without sinful ideas because I know how much disappointed you are, but you make it very hard. Plus, the water is getting cold.”

The realization appears on her face, before being erased by mischievous smile.

“We still can put hot water in it.”

In the end, you add hot water on the tub several times. When you emerge from the bath, you are as tired as Caitlin, and she doesn’t need many pleas to make you stay with her. You were planning to go back to your hotel room that night to be honest. But you don’t. You answer to Leah who wrote you to tell you that she’s sleeping with the team and asked you if you want to go with her before going under the cover next to your Aussie’s girlfriend.

You lie face to face with her and smile when she starts to stroke your face.

“You are so beautiful.”

You roll your eyes and smile.

“You need to sleep Foord; you are starting to get delirious.”

She frowns and hit your forehead before leaning to kiss you. You smile against her lips and when she turns around to let you cuddle her from behind, you don’t need more than several seconds to fall asleep.

Hours later, you are waking up of your peaceful sleep by a deep voice with an Australian accent.

“Caitlin Foord what the hell?!”

Caitlin jumps next to you and you groan, hiding under the cover. Before you understand what is really happening, your girlfriend took Mackenzie Arnold by the arm to take her with her in the bathroom.

“Why the hell is there Leah Williamson half naked in your bed?” Mackenzie whisper-shout from the bathroom.

You roll your eyes, rolling on your back to grab your phone. It’s more than 9 in the morning, you really should have put an alarm on your phone. Thanks god, there isn’t message from Leah for now.

“It’s not Leah” you hear Caitlin answer.

“I have bloody eyes you know?”

Now that you realize what is happening, your heart is pounding. Mackenzie isn’t a close friend of Leah, but you know that her girlfriend is a good friend of Alessia who is a good friend to Leah. And you. But more to Leah. And you obviously can’t let anyone near Leah know about your relationship.

“It’s not Leah! … It’s her sister.”

There is a moment of silence and then

“You are in so much trouble. Leah is going to kill you.”

“I know! That’s why you have to shut your mouth Macca, even with Kristy.”

Mackenzie snorts and even you can’t see it, you easily can imagine Caitlin’s imploring look. There is a sigh, and you sit on the bed.

“Alright, I’m not saying anything. But you really should have chosen someone else to get over the lost.”

“It’s not just… We are together, actually. Like in couple.”

“Oooh that’s why you are always glued to your phone?”

“It’s not really the time to talk about that right now” Caitlin points.

She’s right, but you can’t help but smile at this. You are happy to have a good abonnement though, otherwise you will probably be poor because of your phone’s bill. There is some more noise, and the door handle goes down before the gesture suddenly stops.

“Not a word to Alanna too, please.”

“Promise.”

After that they are both out of the bathroom and you smile awkwardly to Mackenzie before she waves at you and get out of the room.

“I’m so sorry.”

Caitlin looks so tense that you almost feel sorry for her, but you are really stressed too. You shouldn’t have stayed the night here. Sighing, you get up from the bed to look for your clothes.

“It’s not your fault.”

Caitlin hums and while you are getting ready, a question pops suddenly in your head. You look up at your girlfriend who is sitting on the windowsill, looking outward. She’s still in her pj’s with her bed hair.

“Cait?” you call her softly.

She just turns her head in your direction. To distract yourself a little bit, you braid your hair while asking the question bothering you.

“I shouldn’t be concerned about Mackenzie coming in your room at random hours of the day or night, right?”

Her face goes soft, and she breaks the few meters between you to stop right in front of you.

“You don’t have anything to be worried about” she answers, slipping a rebellious lock of hair behind your ear. “No one is in my mind apart from you. Plus Macca has her own girlfriend.”

“Ok.” you smile before hugging her.

You stay in her arms longer than usual. Saying her goodbye is hard even if you know you will see her again in several days now.

April 2024 – The Fight

It was several months after the World Cup that Caitlin mentions for the first time to talk to Leah about your relationship. You were still hiding at that time, just like you are still doing now. You refuse to do it, saying that it was too early and explaining to her again why you can’t do that for now.

She understood your place but then she talked about it again in January, when you had to wait for several days to have a date to celebrate your first anniversary. The date being the First of January, you were obviously passing the day with Leah and your family. You gave her the same answer, it’s too soon and you don’t want to fight with your sister when she’s about to come back on the pitches from her injury.

But now, Caitlin is talking about it again and you can feel how much she’s frustrated about it. You try to make everything to distract her from that idea. You took her on trip just the two of you, using once again your jet to gain time. You are sleeping at her house every time you can. In reality you would love to be open about your relationship, in front of your friends and family at least. But you can’t take the risk to lose or disappoint your sister.

“It’s been a year and three months, Y/N.” Caitlin is saying, frowning like never before. “Leah is back on the pitch; we won the finale against Chelsea and your last deal went well and there is nothing holding us now. Well, except you.”

You sigh, pitching the base of your nose. You don’t want to fight with her. It happens almost never to be fair, only when you are talking about this.

“I can’t do it now, Babe. I just… I don’t know how Leah would react and I can’t take any risks.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I can’t, Caitlin.”

She snorts and cross her arms on her chest. She’s hurt, you can see it. You try to take a step to touch her, but she backs up from two steps where you took one. Your arm falls stupidly against your hip.

“Come on, you can’t ask me to choose between you and my sister. I told you since the beginning why we can’t talk about it to people.”

“Why are we even together then?” she asks coldly.

The question hurts but you decided to ignore the feeling to stay honest to your girlfriend and make her understand your statement.

“Well I don’t know, because I love you?” you answer, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t feel like it’s really the case right now.”

“Don’t say that” you frown too. “You know that I love you.”

But Caitlin is shaking her head and starts collecting her things around your living room. She’s shaking and you try once again to make her stop. Your arguments have never been deeper.

“Baby, please…” you start but she cuts you.

“No. I can’t do that anymore. I can’t stay with you if that means we’ll never evolve in any way. I just can’t.”

You feel numb when you look at her putting her shoes and taking her vest. You follow her like a lost puppy in the entrance, trying once again to grab her arm. You are successful this time and she stops her movements.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Let go of me now, please.”

You just obey, slowly releasing her arm. There is a lump in your throat when you talk again.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Your voice is hardly even a whisper, but Caitlin doesn’t miss it. Her blue eyes cross yours when she looks up over her shoulder.

“Talk to you soon.”

And then, she’s gone. You try to call her of course, texted her too, but she never answered. It’s with puffy red eyes and tears on her face that Leah finds you under your covers in your bed several hours later. She got scared when she doesn’t receive any answer to her text and just come to your home.

She hugs you at first, helping you to calm down to be able to talk and explain what is happening. You hesitated at first, before telling her everything. Well, almost everything because you never mentioned Caitlin’s name or the fact that she knows Leah.

“Tell me her name and I will go on her to make you cry like this.”

Your big sister managed to take you out from your bed to go to the living room and made you drink water and eat something. There are still tears running on your face from time to time, but Leah takes the time to wipe them gently each time.

“She just broke up with me. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Leah makes a grimace before taking you back against her for a new hug.

“If she can’t wait for you, it means that she didn’t deserve you, Love.”

“Can we stop talking about her? Please.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Leah puts the TV on, starting a random show and you try to concentrate on it. You can’t really, but you are still so thankful for your sister. The way she listened to you talking, holding you while you cry like a crazy woman without pushing you to know anything else makes you think that maybe she wouldn’t have scream if you talked to your love for Caitlin. But it’s too late anyway. Caitlin doesn’t want you anymore.

********

Two days after, on Saturday, Leah took you to the game. She almost hasn’t left your side, only to go to training. You are still working though, losing yourself in work. Like you always did before Catilin.

“What’s happening to your sister?” Lia asks Leah during the training.

Your sister turns in your direction, watching you several seconds before sighing. She’s aware that Caitlin isn’t far away from them, but she doesn’t know where your problem comes from, so she answers anyway. Caitlin is supposed to be your friend after all.

“She’s navigating through her first breakup” Leah answers, still looking at you.

Your mother is sitting next to you, she has her hand on your shoulder. Leah explained to your parents what was happening to you and of course your mother is looking for you like you are dying. You are looking at the pitch, but Leah can tell that you aren’t really looking. Unless you’ve discovered in yourself a passion for corner posts.

“Oh? I didn’t know she had someone.”

“Me neither” your sister sighs. “She’s like this since Wednesday but she doesn’t want to tell me who she is.”

Next to your sister, Caitlin gulps nervously when she crosses Steph’s gaze. Caitlin is a mess since Wednesday too. She took the decision to leave, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her. She almost called you a thousand times. She missed you and wasn’t able to hide her sadness with the people who know her the best. Steph Catley is one of them.

“What?” Caitlin snaps at her teammate.

“Nothing” Steph answers, still looking at her suspiciously.

Caitlin went back to the bench nervously to grab something to drink, looking discreetly in your direction. Now your mother is talking to you, and you are looking at her, but Caitlin knows you very well and realizes how destroyed you look. Of course, it made her sadder than ever, but she still has her point. She wants to move in with you, be able to talk about her girlfriend to everyone one, she wants to take you on date in London and not only seeing you in one of your apartments. She wants to be able to walk holding your hand where you both live, not in the other side of the world. She wants to be able to take a plane without needing to hide in the airport.

You were hopping that Caitlin will be benched today, but she’s starting just like Leah. Which means that you will have to look at her for 90 minutes, knowing that you lost her.

It’s a great game to be honest, and while your mother feed you with fries and chicken nuggets (it’s a family thing) you are able to distract yourself enough not to cry while watching your ex-girlfriend.

Leah is sub at the 78th minute and Caitlin is still playing. You would have preferred for her to go on the bench too, particularly when she got hurt five minutes after that. The tackle wasn’t clean at all and you know right away that Caitlin is hurt. Like really hurt. You don’t need to see the stretchers coming for her, you don’t need the concerned looks of her teammate or Katie shouting at the girl taking Caitlin down.

You are up of your seat instantly, trying to have a better look of what is happening. They take longs agonizing minutes to get Caitlin out of the pitch and you run in the locker room in hope to be able to see her. But you just run into Leah.

“I’m going to the hospital to be with her” your sister explains to you. “I’m not allowed to go with her to the ambulance so I’ll take my car.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Sure.”

You are relieved that she doesn’t question you, but once again Caitlin and you are supposed to be friends. Even close friends. You follow Leah to the parking, and she’s ignoring the fan calling her name for the first time. You are so nervous that you want to throw up and you are glad that your sister isn’t talking, otherwise you are not sure that you will be able to contain yourself.

One of the Arsenal’s medics is waiting for you when you arrive, and he takes you into a private waiting room. From now, you just have to wait. Sitting next to Leah, you put your head on her shoulder and are glad that her cuddle instinct is so high when she passes her arm around your waist to hug you. You really don’t deserve her love; you were lying to her from months now.

Leah was scrolling on her phone for what feels like hours when someone comes in the waiting room.

“Are you here for miss Foord?” the medic asks.

“We are” Leah answers while getting up. “How is she?”

“Right. So, her leg has a doble fracture, but those are sharps break so she normally doesn’t need any surgery. She’s in a lot of pain though, so we give her something to help her. She also has a big bruise on the knee, but it will resolve itself. Would you like to see her?”

“If it’s possible, yes” Leah nods.

“Only one person for now.”

Your sister turns to you and you shrug, trying your best to smile at her. You would kill to be able to see Caitlin right now, but she doesn’t know that you are here. And you’re not sure that she wants to see you. Probably not.

“Go. I’ll text or ring her mother.”

Leah nods once again and follow the male nurse to Caitlin’s room. There are strange machines in the room, but Caitlin is up.

“She’s under drugs. She might be a little out of it” the medic whispers to Leah before leaving the room.

The noise of the door makes Caitlin turns her head in Leah’s direction. The blonde gives her a smile and take a chair to sit next to her.

“Oh. Wrong Williamson.”

“What?” Leah laughs softly while sitting up.

Caitlin is speaking like she’s half-asleep but when she looks at Leah, your sister feels like she knows very well what she’s saying. At least that the words are real.

“I would rather see your sister.”

She shrugs and wince, the drugs making her head feels fuzzy.

“Well she’s here, I still can ask her to come if you want” Leah proposes kindly.

“She’s here?”

The surprise on Caitlin’s tone is astonishing to Leah, who frowns a little while looking at her friend. She knows how much time you pass together, well for the brunch or this kind of things. Not really that you passed almost every night together when you are in London. Unless it’s a Monday and you are at Leah’s.

“Yeah?”

Caitlin stays quiet for several seconds, before sighing and looking at the window. The view isn’t amazing to be honest, just the parking lot of the hospital.

“She wouldn’t want to see me anyway. I fucking broke her heart.”

“What are you talking about?” Leah frowns deepens.

She doesn’t mean to take advantage of Caitlin under drugs, but it’s about you and you are the person who is the most important in her life. It’s not a one-side thing, you are Leah’s person as much as she’s yours.

“We had a fight Wednesday because I wanted to tell you about our relationship or at least that she really thinks about telling you. But like usual she had excuses, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I love her so much it’s hurt. I just want to be able to hold my girl in public and tell the world how wonderful she is. Who travel the world to bring someone fucking pancake? We were amazing and now we are nothing and a fucking prick just broke my fucking leg and I just want to her to hug me. But she can’t because I fucking wasn’t patient enough with her.“

Leah is stunned. And not only because of Caitlin’s unusual use of swear words. She never though a single second that Caitlin and you were more than just friends. Or that the Australian was the reason of your tears for the last days.

“I know that she loved me, but she loves you even more Leah. She was so scared to lose you. But now I lost her. And I’m really tired.”

“You should sleep a little maybe” Leah mumbles.

Caitlin sighs and close her eyes.

“I’m going to see my sister, will you be ok alone a little bit?”

“Yeah” Caitlin breath before opening her eyes. “Will you tell her? That I love her?”

Leah hesitates some seconds before nodding and smiling softly.

“Yeah. I will.”

She watches the Australian woman closes her eyes and falling asleep as soon as her eyes are closed. Her mind is running, trying to understand what she just learned. She feels like she isn’t really here when she finds you still sitting on the waiting room. You immediately spot her concern look and get up from your chair.

“Is everything ok? I just wrote to Caitlin’s mother that she will be fine?”

“Yeah, she just fell asleep.”

You let a shaky breath pass your lips, really relieved. Your sister still looks pale, but maybe it’s because of those white walls?

“She has a message for you though, that she asked me to tell you.”

“What is it?”

You are curious to know and look at your sister who cross her arms on her chest while looking at you.

“She asks me to tell you that she loves you.”

Well now you might be whiter than Leah. Your big sister watches you become paler than ever, she watches your eyes widen too and how you open your mouth several times to talk without anything coming out.

“What were you thinking Y/N, really?”

You could cry right now. You passed months perfectly hiding your relationship to Leah, giving you probably the onset of an ulcer due to anxiety, and some drugs from a public hospital is going to break all the efforts you made?

“Leah, I’m so sorry” you began, begging while looking at her. “Please, I never wanted to hide something to you, I swear.”

You were panicking. You just lost your girlfriend and now you are about to lose your sister too. The two most important people in your world, sorry to your mom.

“I just don’t understand” Leah says, shaking her head.

You probably are going to have a panic attack.

“I…”

“I don’t understand” Leah cuts you “How you might have thought that I will be mad at you for being with someone who made you happy?”

You don’t understand and you probably don’t look very intelligent with the way you are looking at Leah. She’s still frowning, but you realize that she isn’t mad at you, she just seems lost.

“You said several times that I wasn’t allowed to flirt with one of your teammates, Le” you point, whispering.

“I said flirt because I didn’t want some of hormonal footballer taking advantage of you! Being in love is something else.”

“You are not mad at me?” you ask shyly.

“Of course not, you idiot. I love you more than anything, your happiness is what comes first.”

Leah rolls her eyes and reach out to you. You don’t hesitate to go in her arms, relieved by the unexpected turn of events. The nose in her hair, you whisper :

“I’m sorry for keeping things away from you.”

“It’s ok” Leah says softly, squeezing you a little harder. “I’m sorry you were in so much pain.”

She kisses your cheek and let you go, not without taking you by the shoulders to have a better look at you.

“We are going to make things better between you and Caitlin now, if it’s really what you want. Ok?”

“I’m not sure she’s still interested. She really is mad at me.” you shrug.

“Please. She told me I’m the wrong Williamson, if she doesn’t take you back, I’ll send her back to Sydney.”

********

When Caitlin wakes up almost three hours later, the sun was gone and the room is almost in the dark. There is a small light on the nightstand, and she needs some seconds to remember where she is and why her leg is hurting like hell. She groans and try to roll on her side, her back sore to have been in the same position for hours now. But her leg hurts more, and she opens her eyes, grimacing slightly.

Then she sees you and froze several seconds.

You were already looking at her, like you were doing since you entered the room. She doesn’t seem really peaceful while sleeping and your heart hurt to see her in pain.

“Hi” you whisper, in case her head is hurtful.

“Did I really told your sister than I’m in love with you or was I dreaming?”

You look at her several seconds, trying to see in her eyes if she’s stressed or anxious before answering.

“You ask her to tell me that you love me, but I guess it’s the same thing.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok” you say, coming closer to the bed. “It’s not what bother me now. How are you feeling?”

“Ok, I guess. Thanks god we are at the end of the season. The doctor said I will be ok to play for the Olympics.”

“That’s a good new”

Caitlin hums and you look at your hands, lost in your thoughts. It’s maybe a good think that she hasn’t ask you for now to get out of her room, but you chose not to push your luck too much.

“I uh, I’ll let you in peace now. I wrote to your mother and your sister to reassure them, but Beth came with your phone and other stuff like one hour ago” you explain while getting up. “You can write to them if you want to.”

“Oh… No wait, please. Can you stay? Just a little bit?”

You hesitate for several seconds, looking at Caitlin before answering anything. You want to stay, of course. You finally slowly sit down again on the chair.

“Thanks” she mumbles. “Look, about what I said to Leah…”

“It’s ok” you say again, shrugging. “She isn’t mad.”

“No?”

You shake your head, playing with your nails and fingers without looking at her. Caitlin knows how much Leah means for you so you’re pretty sure that she would have feel guilty if Leah was mad at you.

“Is she not mad because she knows that we are no longer together, or would she have been even if we were still together?”

“I think she would have been ok. If that was the case.”

You hear Caitlin takes a deep and big breath, making you look at her. You can’t read the feeling on her face, so you are happy to see her talking again. You don’t know what behavior you can have with her now, are you still able to ask her all the questions you want?

“I don’t know how to say that” Caitlin sighs. “But is there a chance that we maybe try to make things better between us?”

“Better like in being friends again?”

You see Caitlin rolling her eyes and you understand quickly that you haven’t guess right. You are surprised to see a small smile on her face despite the situation you are in.

“How can you be so clever when it’s about your company and so obvious when it concerns relationships?”

You roll your eyes too, used to being criticized about your lack of ease in human relations when they do not concern your job.

“Yes, because you are the most sociable and none-shy person in the world yourself.��

“Touché.”

There is a silence, during which you are looking at each other.

“Can you forgive me for running away the other day?” Caitlin asks softly.

“Only if you forgive me for believing during all this time that my sister wouldn’t accept our relationship and how I was wrong.”

She smiles again and you smile back at her. You get up when she asks you to sit next to her by patting the bed next to her. That place being the other side of her injured leg, you oblige.

“I don’t know how explain how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have left like this.”

“I get it. It wasn’t a pleasant situation. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or anything.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I am too” you whisper.

After one second of hesitation, you put your head on her shoulder, and you close your eyes when she put her chin on your head.

“So, what now that Leah knows?” Caitlin asks.

To be honest, you don’t really know. Today was a lot of feelings to deal with and you don’t even know where to start. Your girlfriend (?) seems to understand what is happening in your head, because she kisses tenderly your temple before talking.

“What about I get out from here first?”

“That sounds good” you smile softly. “And from here, you come right to mine so I can take care of you.”

“Perfect.”

You watch the Aussie laying down on the bed and you turn on your side to be able to look at her better. With your finger, you are tracing random patterns on her arm. You know that she’s falling asleep but you need to ask the question.

“Cait?”

“Mh?” she answers, without opening her eyes.

“Are we back together? Like, are you my girlfriend again?”

She snorts and snuggle closer from you, already half-asleep.

“Yes we are. Weirdo.”

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso one shot #caitlin foord imagine #caitlin foord x reader #caitlin foord #leah williamson #leah williamson imagine

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alloftheimaginesblog · 3 days

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Being courted by Colin Bridgerton would include...

From the moment Colin laid his eyes on you, he just knew.

At a young age, Colin was so obsessed with the fantasy his mother had fed him about finding a love marriage though he would never tell his brothers how he so desperately wanted what his father and mother had.

He's a hopeless romantic.

He had been trying to blend in with the rest of the rakes, with his brothers, but that façade fell when he met you.

Stolen glances from across a busy ballroom, small smiles when you'd catch each other's eyes.

You never thought a Bridgerton would ever want to dance with you never mind court you but you were most pleasantly surprised when Colin approached you and asked you to dance with him.

"Will you do me the honour of a dance?"

Of course, you said yes.

As you danced you found out that he was kind and caring and he genuinely wanted to hear all about your experiences and all about you. He was genuinely interested.

"Tell me everything. I must know all about you."

You knew he was handsome but up close, you really got to appreciate him especially his eyes.

The dance ended all too soon and Colin couldn't help himself. "Join me tomorrow for a promenade."

Of course, you said yes.

The rest of the night you're on a high, whole body warm and tingly. You could hardly wait until the morning.

He barely sleeps. He cannot stop replaying your dance over and over in his mind. His brothers noticed and they teased him but he didn't seem to mind any longer about what they thought. All he could think about was that he wanted to get to know you more, maybe this was his chance.

On the Promenade, he is courteous and respectful, complimenting every detail about you.

"Forgive me but I must say, you look radiant in the sunlight."

"I... I lost my thought, I was too caught up in your eyes."

"The more I learn about you, the more I like."

He tells you stories from his travels, his favourite places he has visited and why. You hang onto his every word. He dramatises some of his experiences for your enjoyment, he likes your animated reactions to his stories; the gasps, the giggles, the full belly laughter that erupts at one point. He soaks it all in.

"Your laughter is such a pretty sound."

Violet Bridgerton smiles knowingly from afar.

He wants to know about you, what you like and asks you such interesting questions. He asks you things that interest both of you; questions to get to know the real you.

"If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?"

All too soon, you must bid farewell for the day but he asks you to join him for another promenade in the morning.

Of course, you said yes.

This continues every day. You meet for a promenade and he calls by your home every other day that he doesn't see you. He brings flowers and a warm smile each time.

At Lady Danbury's ball, you get a lot of interest from other suitors. Apparently when the young Lord Bridgerton is courting you, there will be a line of suitors out the door for you.

You are the only one he dances with.

His dance is the only one that matters.

"Oh, I must say," Lady Danbury smiles as she and Lady Bridgerton are watching, "I do think your boy has found a love match."

It was true. The way Colin looked at you, the way he smiled when you spoke... There was no denying it.

A few weeks after your initial meeting, Colin goes to Violet for advice. "I think I have found what you and father had... She completes me." So, with warm words from Violet, Colin decides he's going to ask for your hand in marriage.

He invites you and your family for dinner at the Bridgerton home. You're nervous. You want to make a good impression. You don't want to mess this up. Colin's sitting across from you and his foot nudges yours. You meet his eyes and he smiles and everything's okay.

His family are lovely. You especially like Benedict - he's funny - and Daphne - kindness radiates from her - and of course Violet.

You and Colin are the only things the Ton are speaking about. There's a lot of buzz around the two of you, a lot of whispering about proposals and weddings. It makes you feel overwhelmed and a little dizzy but after expressing this to Colin, he tells you to ignore it. Just focus on him.

He doesn't have to invite you on promenades any longer, instead, the two of you have a meeting time and place and that's where you go each morning. You follow the same route each time, he picks you a flower and you sit by the water.

This time was a little different.

He has prepared a picnic breakfast by the water with all of your favourite things; pastries, fresh fruit, cake!

You spend the morning laughing side by side.

And as you finish, he asks you a very important question.

"Would you do me the honour and pleasure of marrying me?"

And, of course, you said yes.

#colin bridgerton imagine #colin bridgerton #colin bridgerton x reader #reader insert #prompt #headcanon #headcanon prompt #imagine #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton #prompt imagine #headcanon imagine

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human-who-lives · 3 days

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I feel like the Batfam are all only allowed 1 social media account for their hero identity (a rule bruce made as compromise for his kids wanting social media)

None of the bats are allowed a TikTok except babs who has an account called Gotham_Bats. Where all she does is post clips of the comms with scrolling text. Everyone is assigned a colour and modulated voice. She only posts vidios under a minute long so if she has a clip that’s longer she will post it in parts, exept she has a strict post schedule of one post a day at 4pm sharp. Everyone stopped begging for a second part bc they know it will be posted the next day.

Steph has an Instagram that Bruce made her promise to get peer reviewed before she posted anything on her story, reels, or regular posting. Not because he doesn’t trust her but absolutely bc he doesn’t trust her. She only ever gets Tim to peer review it bc she knows he will find something incriminating in the photo and she knows to edit that shit out.

Jason has a linkedin just because he thought it would be funny if he did that. He doesn’t regret his decision at all because he made it the most cursed profile ever.

Tim has a tumblr but you have to find who the real red robin is. And he doesn’t make it easy but once you know you know. (Tim gives me went to dashcon vibes Ngl)

Bruce and cass don’t have social media as their hero counterparts. Cass doesn’t have any social media full stop. And Bruce has it bc he was bullied into it.

Duke has a twitter (x whatever it’s called these days) bc he’s a daylight vigilanti people expected him to have the Insta. But no he has twitter. He answers the questions people have bc no one can find Tim’s tumblr to ask him and no one else looks at their comments.

Damian has a Facebook he has never posted to once and isn’t planning on it, everyone assumes it’s some fan account. But Damian gets bored and so he has a total of one post that says “yes I am me” with no other context. He only chose Facebook because he didn’t want to waste his one social media on something the others already had even if he never uses Facebook.

Dick has a Snapchat who like Steph isn’t allowed to post without getting peer reviewed. He always gets the closest person to him to review it esp bc they are usually in the story’s he posts. He doesn’t use the chat feature only the story feature.

The bats know they didn’t all have to choose a different social media but they find it extremely funny that they did bc if someone wants to follow and keep up with all their social medias they are gonna have to work for it. It’s also really funny the people who are searching for everyone’s social medias bc not all of them have them. And if they do they don’t look real (bc that’s the point)

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ice-cream-writes-stuff · 1 day

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 . |Webs And All|.𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 .

《When a Spider falls into a new world, she didn't expect it to be so.. "Batty" than the others she's been in.》

Hurriedly swinging on rooftops and walls, you gaze in awe of the night sky. Warmth filling your body as the night air floats on your suit. Taking in the night sky...

Before smog and gas cover it as you jump down on the roof top. Pouting at the loss of the clear sky as you frown.

"I forget how polluted this city is.." You grumble, going to the ledge as you place your arms on the railing. Gazing down at the city lights and billboards.

Blinking innocently at one of the paid advertisments, you squint at it curiously.

"Wayne Enter.. Prizes? Technology.." You giggle at the guy on the board. His charming smile and flirty wink was not something you've seen often for an ad for tech.

Well...

You start re-calling a few worlds that did, but with a another billionare..

"Hmm, well. That's enough day-dreaming!" You shake your body, wanting to get your jitters out before taking a deep breath... Shooting out one of your webs to a near by ledge as you run and jump off.

Feeling your body pulled downwards, you pull your web as you glide through the air. Twirling slightly as you smile underneat your mask. Laughing once more as you swing forward.

..Let's do things differently this time.

Your name is (Y/N) (L/N), you were bitten by a radioactive spider..

Yet you weren't the only one.

But now.. Your on your own, though you weren't the only one.

With a fleeting glance at you, the supposed.. Dark Knight: pays you no mind. Eagerly taking down villians left and right, as the two of you finish them off together.

You were supposed to be back at HQ.

Things didn't go as planned.

You made it work, with this "new" life of yours.

Stumbling over your shoes in a hurry, you place down the box of donuts on the big fancy board meeting table. Glad that the stairwell was open, sighing in relief, you miss the eyes that watched you leave the building. While you headed to your next job!

In this Au, Spider!(Y/N) is a temp-worker and delivery girl. Just an odd young gal doing jobs around Gotham, ordinary and sweet.

She has a multiverse-watch, handmade specifcally for her by Miguel. Being one of his first recruits to the Spider Society, yet with the new Multiverse-Canon she's stuck in, the watch forms within her body to make it more acceptable to deal within the world.

Due to this, she doesn't "glitch" is the best term

"Welcome! Lord Hades!" The man dressed in a toga greeted cheerfully. You squint in confusion. Glancing at your companion as you walked closer to his side.

"Ah.. And fair Persephone, it seems you've taken form as garden spider. How quaint!" He spoke jovially as he held out a golden goblet to the two of you.

"Be serious Max! That's Batman and-"

"But Batman is a mere mortal! And what mortal has reached the summit of Olympus and survied!" Placing a hand on Batman's shoulder, the man gestured to his cup.

"Come! Brother! Unveil yourself and your bride in the nectar of the gods!"

-Batman The Animated Series 1992 Ep: Fire From Olympus

Spider!(Y/N) doesn't know Batman's idenitiy, and funny enough. He doesn't know hers, in the beginning. I'd like to think maybe down the line there's a possibility! I just think it's silly-er.

I'd like to think the dynamic between the two is Batman served as a comedic foil to Spider!(Y/N). Sorta, "brooding guy-and happy guy". Also, I like to point out, they can both can be silly in their own ways!

Just them figuring it out with Batman is hilarious in itself.

Biting into the dish, you beam in joy! It tasted so sweet! And.. Tangy, with a bit of sour. Invested with the tasty dish, you fail to notice the striking blue eyes glancing at you from a distance. Naively standing alone in your waiter uniform as you nibble on the treat.

"Ah, Mister Wayne, good to see you." Jim Gordon, dressed outside of his usual detective get-up greets. Flattening down his suit before grabbing one of the fancy champange glasses from one of the servers.

"Oh, Commissioner!" He spoke in suprise, greeting him as the two started to chat. "-And there it was... Mister Freeze and that giant lizzard."

"Dinosur." Gordan corrected.

"Whatever, doesn't make any sense. What does Victor Freeze gain by destroying a bunch of bones?" The billionare huffed.

"That's the question alright, I wish I had the answer." The Commissioner sighed, brows lowering in thought.

-Batman The New Animated Adventures 1994 Ep: Cold Comfort

[This was a small personal project for me, I had this idea since Into the Spiderverse! I would honestly love some feedback for this! I also would love to hear your guys own ideas in the aak box!]

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vastderp · 13 hours

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I Had A Baby Brother

My brother was found dead last tuesday in his apartment.

He died anywhere from Sunday to Monday, and his landlord got worried and checked up on him and found him on the floor with one hand over his face. There was an open jug of methanol nearby. My sister thinks he drank it, I pray he didn't. It was an ugly, fucked up death.

He was in declining health this past decade because he was a paraplegic and uncontrolled diabetic. There are systems in place to help with low income people in his condition, but they were barred from him as he was a convicted felon.

He went from learning to walk again in the physical therapy pool to drinking a gallon of vodka per day, growing more hostile and bitter as the pain got worse, until his body just gave out. He drove away his friends, he drove away his family, and then he hit the floor and never got up.

I was meant to view the body with my sister and her grown kids, but the funeral home couldn't tell us where his body had been sent, and stopped answering the phone on friday before memorial day weekend, and then we had to wait for someone to follow up on my sister's dozens of phone messages, which they finally did, to try and make their little profit.

My sister, who has been handling all of this along with my niece, selected a different funeral home for the cremation because the first one was disgraceful with my mother's death in 2007, and they're disgraceful all over again with my brother's now.

At one point today they finally established contact, and asked how my sister wanted to handle the arrangements for her "father". O how casual the not giving a fuck goes! Dude pressed to make a sale even after she told him how unhappy we were with their work.

All this to say that I have a car full of inherited possessions, unused medical gear, and the shitty fucked up remnants of my brother's shrine to Mom.

Good old Mom may have died almost 20 years ago, but her gentle, loving mission to smother her only son to death (and probably into eternity) is finally successful. Of all of us, I've often wondered who got it worst: The golden child, the scapegoat, or the parentalized invisible middle kid. Now that one of us has effectively committed suicide, I guess it's for the scapegoat and me to hash out who gets second place. My mother crippled him long before his car accident, in one long and winding but uninterrupted line of consequences from his birth to death. I consider it a murder-suicide. Which was which? They were both the killer, and both the victim. Enmeshment is a motherfucker.

I'm super bitter, really fucking sad, and incredibly proud of what's left of my family for how they're coming together now. (Except my dad, who is in another state, petting his dogs, because I don't think he can really deal with this shit).

So what's left? To go put some cologne on his corpse when they finally let us go view what's left of him. He always liked to smell nice and he probably doesn't right now.

They'll cremate him, and give us a ridiculously heavy cardboard box of ashes that we'll have to carry out, knowing it's all that's left of a lifetime of struggling and pain. Probably we're gonna mix his ashes with Mom's, and make that lifetime of enmeshment official.

I hope if they go to the same afterlife, he kicks her in the cooter. I hope she kicks him back. I hope they can see each other with eyes unclouded by trauma, and forgive each other for the choices they both made. I hope they forgive me for still being mad at them both for not being stronger. I hope I will forgive myself for a lifetime of resentment and blame. I sure got enough time for that.

Jason was funny, weird, secretly really smart but never made a point of it. He was stylish. He was a broken man who could have made better choices and didn't, who was happily fed poison until he couldn't live without it, who was basically his own whole ass Pink Floyd song. His violence sent me running into a better life. His death sent me trudging back into a damaged family with gaping holes like torn out teeth, into the arms of my sister, and we reconciled. There's just us two left now, and it's our job to make something beautiful come out of this jerry springer childhood we shared. We're doing our best.

Dozens of catheters still in the package. Leakproof bed padding in a plaid pattern. Gallons of creams, antacids, fiber supplements by the jar, pressure sore ointments, fungus treatment creams, lidocaine pads, antibiotics, antipsychotics, a hash pipe or two.

An entire apartment hoarded with moist towelettes, pressure garments, and cleaning supplies. An entire life choked with mental damages and crying relatives. I put on CeeLoo Green's "Robin Williams" and sobbed until my face felt burned. It helped.

All the usable/safe to give away medical equipment is being distributed to the other impoverished disabled people in his apartment complex, who will hopefully put it to good use. I got his old manual wheelchair because sometimes I can't walk. I'm terrified of becoming more like him, so back to phsycial therapy I go.

The rest?

The memories, the pity, the jug of methanol that I pray he never actually drank, the stain he left on his floor after a lifetime of compulsive tidiness, the shrine to the woman he killed who also killed him? All these things I will keep with me forever. I will honor him. He could have been so much more, for so much longer. He had a whole story I'll never know. He contained incredible kindness and generosity, and also a rage so deep it was fatal. He was only 41.

If you can spare a couple bucks for the gofundme my niece set up, it'd really help make the financial side of this horseshit a little more bearable while we do all the shit that comes with a death. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, for your sympathies, and for reading my fucked up family trauma dump. Rest assured there will be more.

Dear god, will there ever be more.

Send help. Send pizza. Send sad hip hop. Hail Atlantis. Hail Jai.

#death #gofundme #donate if you can #i had a baby brother

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tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang · 14 hours

Note

the boys crush is putting on chapstick, accidentally maybe a little too much, while deciding where to wipe it off...they choose violence! they decided to wipe the extra on his face MWAH they smack a kiss onto the boys cheek and run! they evade capture somehow and the guys end up having to go home. they get caught out in the sun for a little too long. when they get home they realize their whole face is burnt/ tanned- except for one kiss-shaped spot on their cheek. that chapstick had SPF in it. whatre they gonna do

Lmao this is a funny idea! Here's how I think they would each react

Takemichi- He honestly doesn't care at all, he's too busy cherishing the mark and the memory to get annoyed or upset. He's also very exited to show his friend's tomorrow and boast about it.

Mikey- Hmm? He's a bit confused at first and tries to rub the mark off but then it dawns on him. Smiling, he decides to do the same to you tomorrow, you don't get to defeat the former leader of toman that easily.

Draken- Groaning he looks at his face again, isn't sure how he can go to work with his face looking like this. The kiss was a nice surprise but he wishes it didn't happen that way!

Baji- This just so happened to take place on the day he was supposed to visit his mum. So he had to sit through her laughing, asking lots of questions and her wanting to meet his "secret lover". He vows to get you back for this.

Chifuyu- Takes a picture of himself to remember this, then softly touches the mark. He knows he should be worried or annoyed about this but you finally kissed him so how can he be annoyed???

Mitsuya- Chuckles at your antics and tries to figure out how to cover the mark. It actually probably inspires him in some way and gives him a new outfit or accessory idea.

Hakkai- Eyes widen the second he sees the mark, he's questioning why you kissed him more then the mark though. Does this mean you actually like him!?

Pah- Has no idea what to think about this, calls Peh and tells him all about though.

Peh- Mutters a lot about you after seeing it and how annoying you are, it's obvious to anyone who can hear him though that he's lying.

Smiley- He's blushing and saying he's gonna kill you and is just generally a mess. Badly wishes he had caught you so he could've kissed you back. He's definitely going to try the next time he sees you.

Angry- He's still shocked even after he get's home, the mark kinda doesn't make a difference since he's already so surprised. Spends a long time staring at the mark thoughtfully.

Mucho- Is honestly impressed that you not only managed to catch him off guard with a kiss but that you also then managed to get away from him. Maybe he's underestimated you, he won't make that mistake again.

Sanzu- Takes this as definitive proof that you must like him, that was your way of confessing right??? And you even marked him to show everyone.

Kisaki- Frowns while looking at the mark, he definitely appreciates the kiss but he has a big meeting tomorrow and he can't go in with this on his face.

Hanma- Walks around shamelessly showing the mark on his face off, thinks it's cool and wonders how you'll react to seeing it. Blows kisses at you when he sees you and points to the mark.

Kazutora- Goes to talk about what just happened and the mark to the only people he knows he can trust and who won't laugh, the cats at the petshop. Spends the rest of the day talking to them about you and what happened, trying to make sense of it himself.

Inui- Doesn't really care what others think of him with the mark but he knows he'll have to deal with Shinichiro making a big deal over it. Curses you slightly but can't find it in himself to actually be bothered, not when you finally kissed him.

Koko- Immediately cancels all meetings the second he sees it, Kisaki may be mad but oh well. He really wishes you didn't run away, he has so much he wants to say you and that he's hoping to hear fron you. His no1 priority is finding you.

Taiju- He's laughing. You really think you can get away with that? That he'll let you only give him a quick kiss like that? Oh he's definitely getting revenge for this and for you to give him a proper kiss.

Izana- You marked him? Izana hums thoughtfully as he looks at himself in the mirror before grinning. He's thinking about marking you back, leaving bite marks over your neck and seeing how you like it. You are the one who started it after all.

Kakucho- He's blushing so much, he just keeps replaying the memory of the kiss in his head. He's not really sure what it means though, why did you run? Wants to ask Izana for advice but knows he'll laugh at him.

Ran- Decides the kiss mark is actually kinda a look and decides to keep it instead of trying to cover it. Will tell everyone you did this and boast as much as he can, all while smiling smugly at you.

Rindou- Immediately works on trying to cover the mark, Ran is definitely not allowed to see this.

Shion- He's definitely boasting a bunch about this, though he's not mentioning the whole part about you running away and him not being able to catch you. He excitedly points to the mark a lot.

Mochi- He isn't sure if he's more embarrassed about the kiss, you getting away from him or the mark. But he's very embarrassed.

South- Is very excited about this, he views it as a game between the two of you now. And it's his turn to give you a sneak kiss now. Doesn't even care about the mark, actually he thinks it's nice that for once it's not an injury marking him.

Wakasa- Frowns before smiling slightly at the mark on his cheek. Thinks it's cute how you'd do something like that but then get so embarrassed that you run. He wants more though.

Benkei- Makes a loud "huh!???" when he notices it. Definitely wants to talk to you even more now, why did you just do that!???

Shinichiro- He's practically jumping for joy, even after noticing the mark. Wears it proudly to show everyone that someone does like him!!!!

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev

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moonydustx · 8 hours

Note

Law buying an Bepo bear to his shy girlfriend!

I loved the idea! I made a small adjustment on the "buy" issue, I hope you don't hate me for it. And of course, I hope you like it.

The Bear and The Target

Lawx F!Reader

warnings: fluff, F!Reader is a little more shy/reserved in this one, Law is a great boyfriend (as always)

a/n: I really loved this idea, Law doing cute things for his s/o is my weakness.

requests here | rules and guides | masterlist

Comments, reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.

The Park's lights almost blinded you, as well as people pushing against each other, competing to get to the most sought-after attractions first. Despite having your arm side by side with your boyfriend and watching him dodge the countless proposals of "try this game and win thousands of berris" "bet and compete for the top prize", you were still dazzled by how magical the place seemed. .

"Are the two annoying people going to be a couple for the whole park?" Penguin appeared at your side, taking your arm and watching Law sulk. "Captain, don't be annoying."

"Unfortunately, I'm here for work" he pointed out, turning his gaze towards you. "But you do not."

"And I can't go to work with you?" you asked

"It's not really a job, I just need to figure something out." he tried to dodge the question, not wanting to give too many details. "In the meantime, why don't you enjoy a little night with them?"

"We can go on the roller coaster and then go to the monster house."

"No monster house." you and Bepo responded in unison, both of you clearly unhappy with the proposal. "Can we go in the bumper cars?" Bepo proposed and saw you nod.

"See you later then?" you turned to your boyfriend, who just nodded and watched as you and the group of friends left.

As much as Law was against lying in any situation in a relationship, he had just lied to you and it wasn't one of the things he was most proud of, but he had a good reason.

A few months ago, on another island, he had seen you looking at a huge teddy bear and not buying it. It took a few days for the subject to come up and he asked you why you didn't ask and again, shyness was an excuse.

Law was a reserved person, by pure choice - and almost as a personal whim. However, you were indeed shy. The only people who could break your shell a little were your crewmates and even Law had had trouble starting to flirt with you, not being able to know if he was understanding the few signals you gave in the wrong way.

For that reason - and because his eyes almost exploded when he saw you do or have something cute - he knew that that park was the best place to find what he was looking for so much, that cute and huge bear.

He just didn't expect to find exorbitant prices or bears uglier than any patch he had ever heard of, it was impossible to find something perfect.

In the distance, he could see you and the other crew members gathering around a little tent, as he got closer he saw it was one of those old throwing games, where there was definitely some trickery hidden. Seeing you further away from the others, he arrived quietly, stopping right behind you.

"What are we doing?" When he saw you turn around, scared, his hands soon found your shoulders, reassuring you. "It's just me."

"It makes me calmer, but not less scared." you laughed, your hands itching to clasp against Law, but it wasn't something the two of you usually did in public. "Well, we're trying to win something."

"And you, why are you staying away?"

"This guy at this stand is one of those funny charlatan types who love to meddle." You held back a laugh, seeing his expression darken.

Before you could continue complaining about the man, Law's mind immediately wandered to what was in the background: an immense, white, perfectly stitched polar bear that was just an orange uniform away from transforming into Bepo.

"I am going to try." Law's speech surprised you, making you follow him to the edge of the bench.

"The pretty lady decided to try?" the man said in the most charlatan way possible, but Law responded immediately.

"No, in this case, her boyfriend." He took out some coins and placed them in front of the man. "Which one do I have to hit to win one of the prizes in that row?"

"That one." he pointed to the smallest of them all, further back. "But I warn you that it may take some time."

"Captain, everyone tried and no one succeeded." Bepo commented, clearly more concerned than he should be with the simple game. Meanwhile, you remained closer to him, silently watching the bet unfold.

"There, five rings, five chances." the man passed the pieces to Law.

He tried a few times in a row and failed each time. Both Law and his friends were already sighing frustrated with the fact that almost twenty-five rings thrown in a row had escaped the hole.

"There has to be some trickery in this." Law snapped, frustrated with not getting the bear he knew you wanted. "You're fooling us all!"

"Me cheating?" the man said cynically as he accepted more coins and gave Law more chances. "You offend me like this."

"Well, captain…" Shachi approached his side and picked up one of the rings, slamming it against the counter in front of the two. Soon after, he threw a small piece of paper towards the bow and hit it. "See, you're the bad one, captain."

Law quickly connected the dots. The rings were made of some metal material - which could interfere with the weight or even have a magnet pulling it - and the paper ball was not. One look was enough for Shachi and Penguin to understand that they had to act.

"I'll try again." Law muttered, more as a point of warning to his colleagues than anything else.

"Come on man, confess, there's a scam here." Penguin pulled the guy's arm in a falsely gentle way, stealing your attention along with it. "There's no point in deceiving us."

"I got it!" Law's surprised voice drew the two of you back to the captain's attempts, who was now smiling broadly in the man's direction. "So, my prize…"

"How did you get?" the man shouted indignantly, going to check if he had actually succeeded. "I mean, okay, you can choose your prize."

"Come on, you choose." Law turned to you, seeing your eyes light up at the proposal. "Although I already suspect what your decision is."

"The cute Bepo over there?" Your voice was excited, but in a way that only he heard.

Immediately, Law pointed to the huge white stuffed polar bear, which the man reluctantly removed from the wall. Law's laughter remained contained as he watched you almost itch to reach the bear that the man handed you.

"It's so cute!" You squeezed him, burying your face against his soft fur. "It's so good, it's the best gift I've ever gotten."

"This version of Bepo at least lets us squeeze him." Ikkaku joined you, squeezing the teddy bear as well and listening to the real version of Bepo's mumbles.

"You guys squeeze me too much sometimes, I need to breathe."

"We have the need to squeeze cute little things!" you pressed the plush against your arms.

There was a little relay of who would squeeze your bear - which yes, you nicknamed B2 or as Bepo, the second of his name - until they were back at Polar Tang.

"So, did you like the gift?" Law's voice entering the room was enough to cheer you up. "Does that mean he's already stolen my side of the bed?"

"Just until you come here."

"As if I wasn't already offended since you have to squeeze cute things." he grumbled and it only took seconds for you to throw yourself into his arms, covering any trace of skin and face you could find with smacking kisses.

"You.are.the.best.boyfriend.in.the.world." with each pause, it was a new time that your lips met Law's, this time causing a louder laugh to echo from him. "I loved the gift."

"And I'm glad you liked it." He quickly kissed your lips. "I'm going to take a shower, then can we spend some time together?"

"Me, you and B2?"

"Okay, just tonight. I'm surrounded by bears that give me a hard time." he pretended to be offended, knowing that your reaction would be another kiss on him.

Despite the grumblings - and the exorbitant amount of money spent on the attempts - the vision Law found was worth it. You lay on his bed, one of his t-shirts on your body and attached to your arms, the huge white bear. You matched cute things and for him, that would be worth any game - even if a certain devil fruit power had helped him this time.

#fiction #reader insert #one piece #no use of y/n #requests open #trafalgar d law x reader #law x reader #law x you #trafalgar law x reader #fluff

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wonton4rang · 2 days

Note

What would bnd be like as fwb?? 🤔

oh my fucking god you are CRAZY but i think about fwb bnd EVERY SINGLE DAY, at least once, at least one member but EVERYDAY. so watch me rant about it below 😭

pairing: bnd legal line x reader.

warnings: +18, smut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sungho; i don't see him being the typical fwb tbh, idek how you got him like that but if he is, i see him being this type of loner that no one would ever think is being someone's fwb, he's the type to give married vibes so it's not something usual to see him being a fwb. he would be loyal asf, you guys are just fucking but he ain't even looking to anyone else cause he's just that respectful. he would be the type to say a simple "hi" to you when you meet in public with a soft smile, you automatically receiving a text after he went out fo your sight saying "you look so beautiful today, as always". but he wouldn't be confusing tho, you guys would have things clear which is good to avoid any hard feelings.

riwoo; everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, will know you guys have something going on, the only reason they wouldn't specifically go for fwb is because they think sanghyeok has never seen a pussy before. he looks like a lost puppy behind you all the time so they know that he either likes you or you are leading him on. funny how he fucks the shit out of you while he lets out little whines "you feel so good, so warm" he would have a thing for fucking from behind, your ass pressing against his pelvis and you just know he's gonna loose it when his hands hold your boobs and his lips just keep kissing your ear and softly moaning.

jaehyun; contrary to sanghyeok, no one knows y'all have a thing, not because he's good at hiding it but because he's just always joking around and flirting with everyone and everything. i see you getting into an argument with him because of this too, it gets to a point where you don't feel comfortable knowing he's fucking and kissing others as well, he would just excuse himself by saying you guys are not dating so there's no exclusivity involved. was he a bitch? yes, were you going to leave him because of that? no. you loved every moment you spent together and he was so loving when he wanted to that even if it crossed your mind leaving a thousand times, a thousand and one times you'll stay.

taesan; dongmin is not a very clingy person, not even during an stablished relationship, let alone when he's just fucking you sometimes. the lack of response, of affection, of sympathy would be driving you nuts, but when you finally meet in person he's such a sweetheart that you just forget you were mad at him and let him do whatever he wants to do with you. he is VERY misleading, he would say a few lies to keep you close, making promises he doesn't keep but he still has you wrapped around his finger. he would be a little bit rough during sex but even if he's a bitch, he would make you feel good and take care of you afterwards. one of the main reasons of your confusion was that he acted like your boyfriend in private, being jealous over stuff and telling you you're his, only to ignore you in person and don't even read your messages.

leehan; the most misleading one by far. he would act like your boyfriend fr, say cute things to you, wink at you if he ever sees you in public, takes pictures with you, asks you out for dinner at his place without actually fucking you afterwards. all this for him to break your heart when you see him flirting with another girl at the library, getting close to him to ask what's going on and only earning a bad look before he held the other girl's hand and got away from there. he would drop by your place that night and tell you how much he cares about you and how sorry he is, kissing your tears away and making love to you in such a sweet way that you forgot everything he did before. he would stay with you overnight and you would wake up in his arms, only to see him back to normal, barely looking at you before he picked up his things and left you alone. at least he doesn't run away in your sleep and kisses you goodnight.

#boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor scenarios #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor smut #leehan smut #leehan x reader #sungho x reader #sungho smut #taesan smut #taesan x reader #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #riwoo x reader #riwoo smut

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 12 hours

Text

Candy Girl 4

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as cheating, age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: as you’re about to take the next step with your boyfriend, doubts begin to arise. (short!plus!reader)

Characters: Thor (boyfriend’s dad/silverfox)

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself. <3

After a quick flight, both thankful to Thor and embarrassed that he witnessed his son’s behaviour, you don’t know if you ever want to go back. As much as you love Magni, you’re not sure if it’s worth it. He never seems to want to do anything but play video games or sex. The latter remains a touchy subject for both of you.

You’ll let Magni cool off, and yourself.

This isn’t the end. You would know if it was. You send him your usual texts. Good mornings, good nights, and check in when you can. His lack of response isn’t unusual. He’s probably playing around with his bike again. You wonder if he’s figured out how to put it back together yet.

The days pass in a blur. You have work to keep you busy. With summer in full swing, you have more than enough driving around to do.

Between deliveries, your mind wanders. You’ll have to talk to him face-to-face, get this sorted out. You're not mad at him. It was a bad morning and a strange night. You can move past it. Right?

You grab the next order and check the address as you get in your front seat. Huh, it’s in Magni’s neighbourhood. Maybe you can swing by and surprise him.

You turn the engine and blast your stereo. Rihanna pumps from the speakers, a bit scratchy, but still a bop. You hunch over the wheel as you follow the rush hour traffic, tapping the breaks as you crawl along. Finally, you get to a turn off and dip down some side streets.

You turn down the A/C as the car begins to shake. You don’t use the air much, your old beater doesn’t much like any extra stress. You turn down the volume and give an anxious look to the venting in the hood. That’s not smoke, you’re just imagining things.

Before the job, you couldn’t tell left from right but now the whole city is imprinted in the back of your head. You know which orders to make quickly and ones where you can leave the car unlocked while you run up to the door. Magni’s is the latter.

You roll down the avenue lazily and come up before a big white house, squinting at the number on the front door. You get out and stretch, just a few more hours. You grab the insulated bag and the paper bag with the cans of soda. You bounce up the front steps and balance it all as you ring the bell.

You wait, glancing around at the lush greenery. It’s kind of lame to dream of living in a place like this. Basic, your friends tease, but you just want to know what it’s like. Maybe it’s just as bad as what you have, just painted up nice.

You can’t really complain. You have a roof and food and job. Could be a lot worse.

The door opens and jolts you from your internal turmoil. You blink and step back, once more looking around. You know for sure you didn’t go to the wrong house. Thor’s house isn’t even the same colour. So what is he doing there?

“Ah, little one, I was hoping it would be you,” he booms.

“Huh?” You make a dumb face.

“I thought it’d be a fun surprise,” he grins, “my friend’s,” he points up then reaches into his back pocket, “they suggested pizza and I told them I knew just the place.”

“Oh, wow, thanks,” you smile and unzip the bag.

“Hmm,” he hums as he counts out bills, “funny, they got a little thing like you carrying around all that.”

“Mr. Odinson,” you chirp, “I’m not that small.”

“Suppose most people are too me,” he grins and holds out the money, “keep the change.”

You accept the bills with the pizza against your hip and the paper bag on top. You blink dumbly at the folded bills. He can’t be serious.

“Mr. Odinson.”

“Thor,” he purrs.

“Thor, er, I think you miscounted.”

“I didn’t, I have generous friends,” he shrugs, “we put in together. Now,” he reaches to take the paper bag, “allow me to relieve your burden.”

You gulp and tuck away the money. You finish unzipping the bag and slide out the pizzas. It’s awkward as the boxes are so big. He gets closer to help and you slide them right into his hand. As you finish unsheathing them, he steps back.

“How about you have a slice before you go?” He offers, “you have much to go?”

“Halfway through,” you fold the empty bag against your stomach, “that’s real nice, but they time us.”

“Oh, too bad,” he nods, “well, I suppose I’ll see you... haven’t lately. Not that I can blame you.”

“Oh, uh, I’ve been real busy,” you say, not a complete lie. Still, you have been avoiding it.

“Yes, you work hard. Wish I could say the same of Magni.”

“Sorry,” you frown.

“Sorry? For him? He’s not your responsibility. Only myself to blame, I am his father,” he sighs, “anyhow, don’t let me keep you.”

“Thanks again,” you try to brighten up. “I’m... I’m going to talk to Magni tomorrow. It's my day off.”

“Ah, yes, well, I hope it isn’t a waste of time,” he resigns and gives a wave.

He stays at the door as you turn away, his words ominous as they leave an unsettling flutter in your chest. You hop down the steps and open the back door of your car. You toss the empty bag inside and close it, getting in the front.

You shove the key in the ignition and twist. The engine rumbles but doesn’t flip. You huff and try again, leaning your weight into the effort. As the motor kick, you look up to find Thor still watching you from the porch.

The engine turns and you sigh in relief. As you go to shift into reverse, there’s a pop, then a bag, and several more noises. The exhaust puffs one last time and the engine dies. No! No! Not now baby. We made it so far.

You get out as black smoke plumes around the edges of the hood and you hear a shuffle from the porch. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Thor puts the pizza down on the bench and hurries down to you. As if you haven’t embarrassed yourself enough in front of him.

“You alright?” He asks.

“Yeah, fine,” you pout, “I’m not worried about me.”

“Hm, may I?” He gestures to the hood. You shrug.

He pops it open and moves the stick to prop it up. He waves away the smoke and squints through it. You cross your arms and stand back. You wouldn’t know where to begin.

“Hmm, lucky it wasn’t a full blown fire. Fuel lines are rotten,” he says and moves out of the path of the smoke. “One finally burst.”

“Oh,” you mope, “no...”

“Sorry, little one, it’ll need a professional.”

“Uh, at least... I guess the tip will help with that,” you sniff, “but... I gotta work. What am I gonna tell Karl?”

“Karl?” He echoes curiously.

“My manager,” you utter, “and my parents...” You look at him, “sorry, this isn’t your problem.”

“I would gladly take it on,” he assures you, “why don’t you call Karl, tell him you’re having some difficulties, you can’t finish your shift.”

“Urgh,” you frame your forehead in frustration, “but...”

“I know someone who can look at the car. I’ll give him a call.”

“Oh gee,” you huff and turn your head up, dropping your hands. “This isn’t happening.”

“Don’t worry, little one, I will take care of it. Please, it’ll be alright.”

You look at him again. It isn’t his responsibility and you shouldn’t let him but you don’t have much of a choice. What else are you going to do? Borrow Magni’s broken motorcycle?

“Right, I’ll... I’ll call my boss.”

“Please, I don’t like to see you upset,” he says, “call him then have some pizza and I’ll take you to mine. You can make up with Magni, eh? At least that’s something.”

“Thank you, Mr. Odinson,” you give a bittersweet smile, “really, you don’t have to do all that.”

“Ah, but why wouldn’t I?” He winks and turns away, “Bucky!”

He stomps up the steps and pulls open the door, the pizza forgotten on the bench. He calls the same name again and you take out your phone. At least Karl is a nice guy. He’ll let you make it up once you get your car running again.

#thor #dark thor #dark!thor #thor x reader #drabble #series #au #marvel #mcu #avengers #candy girl

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damn-stark · 2 days

Text

Chapter 41 Thus with a kiss I die

Chapter 41 of Sugar

A/N- No surprises by Radiohead, you won’t thank me later but it fits this chapter!!!!

Warning- Swearing, ANGST!!!, death, flashback, SPOILERS!!!! long chapter!

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode and or chapters- Chapter 259

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

*SOMETIME AGO*

“Blood manipulation training day 1,” you talk to the camera and back up to show Itadori, Kamo, and Choso training, but first you pamper yourself and smile at the camera before stepping away to let the others get in view.

“What are you doing?” Kamo asks right as he spots the camera across the mat.

The three of you look at him and you glance at the camera as if it isn’t obvious before looking back at him and explaining. “Recording today's training? It’s good to record some part of it and go back to see what you did wrong. Aoi and I would do that when Yuki trained us. It’s,” you snort and shake your head. “It’s a pretty good idea. We have a lot of funny reels—”

“Fine.”

You pout at the boy's interruption and sit down on one of the benches to watch the blood manipulators at work.

Honestly, you wouldn’t have come but Choso insisted because he wanted to show you how he taught his brother.

“Hm…the trick to convergence,” Choso muses as he rubs his chin in a very smug manner.

“It looks like I’ll be doing switch training with Okkotsu, and Kusakabe,” Itadori says. “So I’ll need to work on blood manipulation the hard way. And we only have one month. Gimme every piece of advice ya got!”

“Through blood and tears,” you interject quietly as you think of a funny pun, and end up catching the attention of all three men.

“Oh,” Yuji feigns a laugh, whilst Kamo looks at you unamused, and Choso rubs his chin and squints at you.

“You’ll just need to learn through blood and tears Itadori,” you repeat louder and a lot more smug because you could think of something you deem funny.

“Literally,” he feigns another laugh and this time Choso finally snorts and chuckles, making you smile wider.

“Good one,” he points at you. “I like that one.”

You shrug smugly and cross one leg over there. “Now why don’t you show me what you got baby.”

Choso’s cheeks grow a shade of pink but he doesn’t falter this time, not in front of his brother.

“Well, convergence,” he turns and swings his arm. “It’s kinda like this…” he pauses and swings to the other side. “Then like that…then a lil’…”

Oh, what a sweet man. As good of a brother as he is, he doesn't really know how to teach does he?

“Seriously dude?!” Itadori remarks.

Then again maybe it’s the student as well.

“Cho!” You call him out, and he peers back to listen. “Why don’t you show him that blood armor thing?!” You suggest so he could take off his vest and his shirt.

“Well,” he finally tells you smugly without breaking into timidness. “Maybe…”

“He’s not ready,” Kamo cuts him off and faces Itadori. “Think of bathing in hot water. You can feel the heat encompassing your entire body. In that same way, you can expand your blood vessels, creating a vague outline of your body. That’s the basic foundation of blood manipulation. ”

Hm simple enough. A lot more helpful than Choso's way of teaching.

“Like when you piss yourself?” Itadori surprises you by blurting, which shouldn't be surprising, he has this goofy sense of humor, but still, ew.

“Uh, whatever works,” Kamo mutters with the same disgust you feel.

“Convergence is a technique that compresses your blood,” Kamo continues sharing with Itadori. “Meaning we can use a sponge or paper- anything that can be crumpled in your hand easily—To help with imagining it’s a similar feeling, cans or clay work too.” He motions with his hand, making Itafori nod in comprehension before turning to face his older brother.

“Choso,” he says. “This is what it means to teach someone.”

You look over at your boyfriend and can’t help but smile and grin even brighter when he starts to point at himself. “Supernova! Ask me about Supernova!”

“For starters,” Kamo counters quite respectfully. “We don’t have time to make blood manipulation a potent weapon for Itadori. It’ll be better for him to get the basics of stitching and stopping blood down.”

“Hmph,” Choso huffs in defeat and with a hanging pout that makes you walk over behind him to probe.

“I would like to know about Supernova.”

Choso slumps down and mutters in defeat. “You can’t even use blood manipulation.”

You push away from him and sit back down with the same pout he just used when he got rejected for teaching.

So much for tagging along!

Nevertheless amidst your growing boredom as you listen to Kamo, your phone rings, and when you check, it’s none other than your business partner, Kong.

“Oh, well what a welcoming surprise,” you greet the man smoothly. “Kong. Honey.”

At the sound of the man’s name Choso slowly sits up straight after being brushed aside to be replaced by the better teacher.

“Geto,” Kong greets quite irritatedly.

You sigh and sit back. “Can we make this quick, I’m in the middle of something.”

“Fine, get this man to stop following me. I gave you everything you needed. You found Geto, leave me alone,” he says rather brashly, which is not to your liking.

“Oh? Well fine,” you feign reassurance but then lean forward and actually click your tongue and inhale deeply as you prepare to bring something up. “But lately there’s been this…well, how can I put this…rat running around in my business…and you know if you don’t kill them they just fester and then it’s hard getting rid of them. What should I do?” You ask casually and glance at your nails.

Kong doesn’t miss what you’re insinuating with that clever choice of words so he sighs deeply and quickly argues. “I gave you everything you have. It’s all mine.”

You sit up and laugh, genuinely laugh, making his breath falter.

“You believe that?” You ask quietly in a voice that makes chills run down Choso’s spine.

“I know it,” Kamo claims confidently.

You feign a smile and remark sweetly. “Your business would’ve been nothing without me. I made it what it is, it’s mine, but because you did lend me a hand in starting it, I’ll give you a second chance. Or else I’ll call the exterminator, it’s not impossible to get rid of rats. Good day, Kong.”

You end the call and put your phone away before sitting up and swinging one leg over the other to continue watching the teaching going on in front of you.

“You know…” Choso trails on. “I could show you piercing blood. It’s pretty simple.”

You blink and look over at him, feeling your whole body ease at the mere sight of those rich brown eyes and that sweet smile. And after seeing him get turned down for teaching after being so excited and talking your ear off about all the things he’d teach Yuji, how can you turn him down?

“All right,” you give in and jump to your feet.

Choso follows you up and slips behind you to slip his hands under your elbows and push your arms out, making you smirk mischievously and bat your lashes before peering over at him.

Choso sees that smirk playing on your lips and swallows thickly before looking at your hands. “Focus,” he scolds you softly since he’s fighting the temptation of your soft lips calling his own to you.

“Okay then tell me.”

“Well,” He goes on and slithers his hands down your arms to grasp the back of your hands and push them together.

“It usually, you know, runs up to my fingers and I shoot. And that happens by bringing up all the blood to my hands and shooting at my target,” he says with growing excitement that makes you genuinely smile and just watch how his pupils glimmer. “I usually feel the heat and a…blood orb collects in between my palms before I shoot it. Which is similar to fire, hm?”

You summon fire to your palms, feeling the heat of the flames run through your veins before they glow under your fingertips. You don’t intend to shoot so you can keep the fire inside so as to not make a mess and disrupt the other learning opportunity happening across from you, but you give Choso your answer.

“Hm,” you hum in agreement and turn your head slightly to meet his gaze, feeling his burning desire under his inventive gaze, and his hot passion on your hips as he gently squeezes them.

“Your stance matters,” he speaks quietly but in an enticing way. “Your footing on the ground must be strong.” He says and glances at your lips, making you feel his blood rushing down to his member between his legs since he presses himself close to your back.

“What else?” You purr and bat your lashes, making him part his lips and breathe in but not mutter anything, you leave him at a loss for words over such simple gestures.

But he also burns you up with his intoxicating smell engulfing your sense of smell, those soft pink lips grazing the side of your ear, his hot breath unfurling over your cheekbone, and that sexy look in those beautiful rich eyes.

He’s such a distraction as he stands so close and that’s a mistake because before you know it, fire shoots out of your hands pointed ahead. When you feel it slip out of your fingers it’s already flying right in between Kamo and Itadori, and hitting the wall, completely missing them by mere inches.

“Oh,” you gasp and cover your mouth.

Choso steps back and looks at the burning hole you made and then looks at the shocked faces of his brother and very distant relative.

“I’m sorry,” you quickly say apologetically as you clutch onto your chest. “I’m…” you trail off and glance over at Choso, but that’s a grave mistake because the moment you do, you both watch each other with guilt for a second, but then you both look over at the black hole emitting smoke from the aftermath and start laughing.

Kamo and Itadori don’t find it funny because they were close to getting burnt, and Choso does feel sorry for almost being the cause of hurting his little brother, but you both can’t help but just laugh with each other. It’s like you’re enticed by each other, and hearing each other laugh only feeds into your humor.

——

*NOW*

Amidst the scorching heat that was quick to force itself through your secret art technique that was slowly failing at keeping you and Yuji safe from Sukuna’s divine flames, was suddenly a life-saving coolness that came with a pitch darkness.

Perhaps it’s your end, this was death coming back to collect what escaped its grasp before.

You don’t want to die. Not yet. Not in front of Choso, not when Satori is waiting for you to go and pick her up to take her home. You don’t want to die here either…

However, before you can convince yourself you’re dead, through the deafening darkness is Choso. He’s very close to you, and he was the one who saved you and Yuji from those deadly flames.

You had heard him calling out to you before, but this wildfire was so overwhelming that your mind quickly drifted your attention away. But now he’s here, he’s your savior and you can't help but smile with relief until your heart sinks to your stomach and this sudden bone-chilling fear hits you.

Something doesn’t feel right. Something doesn’t look right about him keeping up the shield made of blood, and rather than him just being covered in soot and slashes like Yuji and you, Choso seems to be getting slowly consumed by fire. And you would know, you have that technique, you know how it kills a person and the pungent smell of burning flesh.

But this can’t be what you see or smell, not from him.

“Choso,” your voice shakes while you still want to smile as you cling onto hope.

Said man meets your gaze and a charming smile decorates his features. He then glances at his brother and his smile only turns more fond as he speaks his name and yours with a gentle tenderness.

“Choso?!” Yuji exclaims as he too starts to realize what you do but what you keep wanting to refuse.

“What are you doing?!” Yuji proceeds to yell.

You study your husband's face and that fire seems to be consuming more of him right in front of you, and you can’t even stop it.

“You can’t do this!” Yuji remarks.

That smile doesn’t falter, his eyes drift down but that charming smile stays on his face. “I’m sorry,” he finally explains what’s going on. “I was useless during training. Your big brother tends to do things instinctively.”

Why can’t he stop?

Why don’t the flames stop?

Why?

“Cho—” Yuji cuts himself off mid-shout and draws in a shaky breath before his face falls and averts his gaze. “Instinctively, huh? You really hit the nail on the head…” he trails off and shares a moment of silence with his brother that makes you think that he needs to stop or he’ll die. The fire keeps eating at him. It keeps taking more of him away from you.

“Choso,” your whisper trembles, and the charming man slowly looks over at you. This time that smile falters.

“What are you doing?” You ask the same thing Yuji asked not long ago in hopes the answer would change and the outcome would be a hopeful one.

“My love,” he whispers softly and with so much fondness. “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head and step forward. “You promised,” you throw at him with a burst of anger. “You swore!”

He nods without shame and swallows back a lump of emotions he didn’t want you or his brother to see. “I did, I meant to keep that promise, I really did, but what husband, what brother, and what father would I be if I let you all die when I can do something to stop it?”

“We could find a way,” you argue desperately. “I can—”

“No, I saw it,” he cuts you off confidently. “You were going to collapse and I was going to have to watch you die all over again. I don’t want to live just to see that again, you deserve a happy life. I wish—”

“No!” You bellow mid-sentence and want to lunge forward to grab his face as if that would stop the inevitable, but the space is so small that there's no room to move any further, leaving him just out of arm's reach.

“Please, no,” your anger falters and your agony seeps through. “Please…Choso. Tell me what you want to say after. Please,” you break into a shaky sob.

His smile trembles and his eyes cloud with tears, but instead of saying all the beautiful things he wants to recite to you from one moment to another your surroundings go from grim and then to a serene view of vivid green hills, and a timid sun letting the night sky shine.

“Tsukumo threatened to pop my head off my body if I ever hurt you,” Choso mentions casually. “I didn’t believe she could do it until I saw her technique at work.”

You blink and keep your eyes fixated on the beautiful scene conjured up by nothing but the last remnants of his will.

“She was really protective of you,” he mumbles as he starts to notice your aggravation. “But that’s how big sisters are…” he trails off and he reaches over to grab your hand but you pull it away and hug your knees to your chest as you keep watching the gentle breeze move the sea of grass.

“I’ve,” you stammer and clear your throat to let your anger sound clear. “I've lost so many people I have loved, and maybe it’s my fault. I’ve gotten attached to them in this cruel world, but…I thought you wouldn’t let me down. You out of everyone. So w-why?” You can’t help but cry before you snap your head to the side to pierce your watery glare into him. “W-why are you leaving me?”

Choso sees how the last glimmers of the sun capture your eyes and his breath catches in his throat while that tough act falls because the truth is you were one of the few people he could be completely vulnerable with. You could see him sob and he wouldn’t feel like he was looking weak, he didn’t feel like he was letting someone down by crying in front of them. He feels comforted.

“I don't want to,” he finally admits with every word pampered with emotion. “I wanted to live a long life with you and our family. I want to be a father, I want to be by your side, but I’ve lost you once, and I’ve let Yuji down once, I can’t do it again. I can’t…so please don’t fight me on this, my love, please just let me look at you one more time. That way when I look into your eyes all I’ll see is my sun…my moon…my stars…my most beloved, my love, you.”

You can’t. You can’t accept this fate, you can’t pretend to be okay just to make him feel better about his sacrifice. No matter how sweet his words are, you don’t want them to be the last thing you hear, you don’t want this to be your final moments together.

You can’t be selfless. Your heart shattering and turning to nothing but dust terrorizes you. Your chest collapses within itself, and the beauty of the world vanishes to nothing, so you can’t smile.

You sit across from him like you would do when you would watch the city in your sleepless nights when you were trapped in that apartment for nine days. You hold his gaze with your eyes pampered with tears so you can plead and beg speechlessly and desperately like your life depended on it. Because it does, he’s the light that had once vanished in your life, he’s your hope and a part of your soul. How can you not fight for his life?

“Please don’t do this to me,” you cry, but not in that made-up world, you tell his withering body that had little to nothing left of the man you love because of that scorching fire that keeps consuming him.

“I love you,” he redirects endearingly and with that same amount of appreciation and tenderness he always held for you since the day he remembered who you were and what you meant to his old soul.

Albeit you’re selfish, these are the last words you’ll hear from him. Ever. After this…all he’ll be is a memory and you can’t accept it. You already lost one man you loved to death, you can’t lose another one to him again. Not again.

“Choso please don't do this! Stop! Please stop,” you beg with your life. “Choso!”

He holds your fire-kissed eyes that he loves so much and that he found hope in after a century of darkness, and all he sees is his joy as well as the love of his life and he can't be happier that fate was kind enough to let him cross paths with you.

“I love you,” he says a lot softer and with a quiver he can’t hide.

“No,” you sob. “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me!”

He wishes he could stay and live a long life, he hates hearing you plead so heartbrokenly, but he can’t watch you or Yuji die, he has to do what he needs to do.

Thus he holds your gaze for a lingering second and then looks at his little brother.

“Thank you Yuji,” he now dedicates his last words to his little brother before his life can be taken once and for all. “Thank you for being my little brother.”

Yuji inhales sharply and shakily before filling his brother's heart with sweet words full of love. “Thank you. Big brother…”

After those words are uttered Choso’s chest stops moving once and for all, filling his protective blood bubble with a grieving silence that you can’t process.

You stand there with no heart left, and hundreds of words left in your mouth that you never got to tell him.

“Choso,” you call out even if you’re looking at a cruel reality. “My love?”

The protective blood shield that kept your surroundings dark begins to collapse welcoming a grim sight of thick smoke and a burnt city, proving Choso’s attempts worthwhile.

But you can’t be appreciative, not when his lifeless body falls on the ash-covered ground with a thud. You actually can’t even believe he’s gone—no refuse to accept the truth.

“Choso,” you cry out and crawl over to his body that would’ve been unrecognizable if you hadn’t seen him burn away. “Choso, baby, you,” you say between sobs. “You’re okay. You’ll be okay.”

You gently cradle him and lean your face down towards his. “Just heal, you can do that,” you speak madness. “Do that for me please.”

You don’t think of your babies growing inside you who won’t know their father, you don’t care about his brother he left behind or that some part of you thinks you deserve this agony for all the things you’ve done, all you care about is him and your grief.

“Choso, honey,” you coo as you caress his hardened face. “Heal. Please,” you beg.

There’s still so much you want to tell him. You still need to tell him you love him, how grateful you are to him for loving you even after all the evil you did, for loving someone so cruel and selfish; for seeing the good, your strength, and your beauty. You never got to thank him for all the happiness he filled you with, or for caring for your daughter the way he did.

You never got to tell him that he was the love of your life, or that he completed your soul.

He left you like Suguru left you, and like Satoru did.

He left you empty with no heart or soul left. There’s an empty shell, left even more hollow without your brother. And it hurts, it pains you deeply with such an agonizing pain you have never felt before. It leaves you numb and unaware of the fact that in the blink of an eye, you were suddenly transported with lifeless Choso in your arms just past the area Sukuna vaporized with his fire.

From one moment to another, you’re facing a leveled city straight out of apolocpyse, and the next you’re staring numbly at an abandoned city as empty as the husk you call your body.

You would say that you were alleviated from that sense of danger, but the truth is you didn’t feel it. You don't feel the urgency to move away and protect yourself or who you carry in your body, nothing matters but the hope that Choso will somehow return. And now that nothing else surrounds you, now that Sukuna isn’t stomping your way through the clouds of smoke, you just disassociate yourself. By will or not you don’t know or care. You’re alone, truly alone.

And once again you can’t cling onto the love you have for your kids, no matter how hard you want to, you can’t depend all your happiness on a little girl. How could you give her that burden?

So it means that your greatest fear came true, you’re alone at the end of the world, carrying the corpse of your happiness, half your soul, and surrounded by the fading debris of what used to be.

What can you do now but lay down on the cold ground beside Choso’s corpse and nuzzle against him like you would in the mornings when you were both just relaxing before starting your day. You drape your arm around him like you liked to do so you could keep him close and bask in his warmth. You rest your head on his chest as if you were listening to his heartbeat.

Your world is now so desolate that nothing matters. You’re not cold or in a hurry to help.

You don’t care—or try not to…But the truth is you’re terrified and in withering pain. And never in your life have you ever felt so alone like now.

“You’re such a liar,” you whisper as if he could hear you. “You lied to me. You swore and you lied.”

You should hate him, find happiness, and hate him for leaving you the way he did, but you can’t even fathom the thought. You’re too in love with him to ever hate him or the happy memories that will surely turn sour soon.

“Why did you have to leave me?” You demand to know from a corpse as you refuse to accept reality. “Why? I love you so much…I told you I would die for you…”

You trail off to wait for a response because you know he’d tell you to shut up about doing something stupid, but it was far from a lie, and it was romantic in your head.

Now you understand why that foolish man from that tragic story killed himself for the woman he loved. You understand his pain, and his desperation to see the one you love again so you won’t have to spend a second longer without them. You know now why he couldn’t fathom living on…

Because there’s nothing left. You’re all alone, and there’s nothing worse than that. Which is why you’ll do it.

You’ll die for the man you love.

“Because,” you swear to whatever bind that holds power in your world. “What does strength mean compared to living without you? What is pride when there’s nothing to be proud of in the wake of your loss that will always hurt me and feel like a fresh wound? I don’t want to drag on without you. So please,” you sob into his chest. “Bring him back, I don’t care if he’s a non-sorcerer, just bring him back…”

You’ll give it up, your strength and power that held you so above everyone else. You’ll live as the people you hated. You’ll love the kind of people you hated and scorned for what they couldn’t have just so you don’t live without him. You will leave behind the person you took so long to build to your image. You will die just so you can live on with him by your side until the day you die.

And it can be a few hours from now, you don’t care, you just want him back.

“Please,” you beg whatever force made up the binding vows. “Please.”

You slowly sit up to look at Choso’s face, or what was left of him, and beg with all your agony and might. “Please just come back. Please Choso.” You whisper breathlessly and lean down to whisper against his lips and plead one more time with all the might and sincerity you hold.

“Please come back as gentle and sweet, as caring and passionate, as funny and protective as you were.”

You close your eyes and press your lips against Choso’s one more time, unaware of the fate you sealed, and of the gift of life and death you gave from deep inside of your withered soul with a sweet kiss.

When silence follows to consume you once again, it soon gets disrupted, but this time it’s not you that fills it with sorrowful words, this time Shoko calls out your name, but you don’t bother to get up.

Not because you’re waiting to see if your fate is sealed, you just don’t get up because you don’t have the energy. You’re too numb.

“Honey, get up and let me take you both inside,” she speaks sweetly and with caution.

You stay quiet and still as if you were lifeless yourself, so Shoko decides to slowly walk to you while someone else decides to cut in now; someone younger and sweeter and who doesn’t smoke ten packs in an hour.

Kirara calls out for you and they’re much faster to reach you and actually attempt to see if you were alive, or dead like the man you’re cradling.

“You can be with him inside. Come on, I'll help you.” They offer.

You close your eyes and sigh shakily, letting more hot tears stream down your cheeks,

“Come on,” Kirara doesn’t plead with you, she grabs your arm but makes sure to caress it as she offers her comfort first. “I’m sure this is uncomfortable, and I’m sure you’re cold.”

If you get up you’ll see Kirara, you’ll welcome their comfort. You’ll see Shoko and appreciate her attempts at comforting you, but you’ll still be alone, you won’t see the one person who you’re aching to see in such a low time in your life, Satoru won’t be there to wrap you an embrace or silently sit with you to provide comfort in a way he knows how.

You’ll stand surrounded by people but be abandoned.

“No,” you say hoarsely and grab onto Choso’s body a little tighter. “I want to stay here with him, I’m waiting.”

You open your eyes and catch Kirara's worried glance they share with Shoko.

Yet even then Shoko doesn’t walk over, so Kirara pulls you up and to avoid actually being a nuisance you push yourself up, but never take your eyes off Choso’s corpse.

“You fought well,” Kirara praises you as they wrap a blanket around your shoulders. “You all did.”

“I’ll have someone carry him inside you’ve already overstrained yourself,” Shoko breaks her silence that you begin to find odd. You’re surprised she’s not by your side being as worried as Kirara, she's actually being rather pushy after you returned from fighting Kenjaku.

Maybe all this has just taken a toll on her…

“You’ve been outside too long you feel rather cold,” Kirara points out as they drag their feet with you as you move slowly as if doing so is wearing you down.

“Shoko,” you catch the woman off guard and slowly drag your eyes up, letting her see how red your eyes are from crying so much, and the beautiful tragedy scared on every detail of your face and only spread its roots deeper within you. She can especially see such tragedy in your eyes, it’s hard to miss just like the sudden change.

Once furious eyes blazing with mesmerizing and ferocious fire are losing their mark.

But how, she wonders. Is your grief really impacting you so hard that it’s taking a physical toll on you?

“Kirara let's walk her into my office, I want to check on her,” she tells them as if you’re not there—then again you kind of aren’t there.

“Yuji? Where is Yuji?” You finally express your concern.

Shoko meets your gaze but quickly averts it. “Still fighting,” she lets you know and doesn’t fully relieve you of that worry, but you’re relieved he’s still alive.

“Todo used his technique and brought you in,” Kirara trails on after Shoko.

Aoi?

You glance over at Kirara with worry and they don’t fail to quickly assure you as if they knew what you were going to ask. “He’s fine, he should be helping Itadori fight now, so don’t worry.”

You sigh with relief even if now you have a bigger knot in your stomach because Todo is fighting now too.

“Kinji?” You ask for a man you haven’t heard anything about, even though given the fact that he wasn’t out fighting Sukuna, or here now means he should still be fighting Uraume.

“He’s still fighting, just like you said he would,” Kirara tells you with hope still laced in her voice which makes you think how beautiful it is to hear before you reach Shoko and wonder why she’s having such a hard time meeting your eyes, or even being close to you.

“Shoko,” you call out softly to your best friend and have Kirara stop so you can reach for Shoko’s arm with the intent to ask if she’s okay, or if something else happened, but then just as you thought that this was the end of your world, another pair of footsteps echo towards you.

You don’t think anything of it, you don’t want to because you assume someone is coming to collect Choso’s body, but Shoko shifts her head away and you catch a glimpse of black shoes you recognize. Black shoes you recognized first not long ago.

Can it be?

No, it can't, he's…dead.

But…

You draw in a deep and trembling breath and slowly scale your eyes up the approaching figure, feeling your pulse quickly racing as you recognize those baggy white pants you once thought were too big to wear for a fight, and that tight black shirt that hugged him tightly.

As you reach his face you question your sanity. It has to be your grief, it can’t be who you think it is right across from you.

He’s dead. He…he…

Oh, but those eyes. They’re so unique and so kind. How can you mistake that lively gleam in his eyes that always accompanied him? How can you mistake those bright eyes that you called home, that you found comfort in when you were terrified and upset?

You can’t mistake the eyes of your beloved older brother. You can’t miss the fact that his chest is moving and that he blinks. You can’t mistake him for an illusion because he revives that hope you had just lost with the death of your most beloved.

You can’t mistake him because he’s standing right there in front of you amongst the silent wind, the distant and unwelcoming warmth, and under the dry sky.

“Satoru,” you muse blissfully.

A/N- WHAT IS THE WORST THING SHE CAN DO AFTER FINDING OUT ABOUT WHAT THEY DID WITH GOJOS BODY?

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

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ifeelthereforeimnot · 2 days

Text

GUYS HOLY SHIT I just realized I, at one point in my life, had a Dean.

I don't remember how we became friends, he was just always around until I couldn't remember a time before I'd turn to my left and there he was. And even now, I miss him like a limb I wasn't born with but had grown so used to that I still feel pain where there's nothing.

I realize now that he didn't love me, he owned me. Or maybe it was both. Maybe he didn't know how to do one without the other. But I loved it. I loved being loved. I loved being his. I loved that he had a name for me and only me and would snap at anyone else who used it. "Only I get to call her that." Like a brand, like a collar. And I handed him the leash attached to it, yanking my own head back because the leash is too short but it's the only one I have "here, you dropped this."

He was never impressed by any of the guys I dated. They weren't good enough. He was not interested in hanging out with me and my boyfriend. But he'd always insist I come along with him and his girlfriend. He'd make inside jokes and play funny songs and look into the rear view mirror but never at her. Always at me. "You're about the same size, right?" when buying a gift for his girlfriend. I am. The exact same size. I wonder if he knows that.

"You're like a sister to me," he said. Then he'd hold my hand in class, hidden under the table. Pinkies inching closer and closer until they interlocked, neither of us moving, neither of us so much as breathing so as to not disturb the fragile moment we've created. The bell would ring and we'd pull apart and never mention it again but he'd always sit with his fingers curled around his chair.

"You're like a sister to me," he said into my ear as the wind whipped around us. It was pouring rain but we didn't want to go home. Never wanted to go home. I don't remember why but we were wrapped in each other's arms. It was the logical place to end up. It was safe. It was home. We stayed like that for a long time, pressed chest to chest, cheek to cheek, long after the moment had passed. Long after the intensity had calmed and the passion had simmered and the cold and rain seeped into our bones because we couldn't feed moments like that. We just couldn't.

"You're like a sister to me," he said, turning to face me as we laid on the roof of my old elementary school. It was winter, it was cold, but we had cigarettes and the buzz of adrenaline to keep us warm. We stood at the railing, leaned over the edge and I threw my arms out. He put his arms around my waist, head on my shoulder, go ahead. "IM THE KING OF THE WORLD" and I was. For a minute.

"You're like a sister to me," he said into my hair, loose-limbed and wasted for the first time. I was sprawled across his chest, finally FINALLY. We were always touching but the alcohol lowered every inhibition as to how much. I had only gotten to lay with him once before, after days of no sleep, clinging to each other barely conscious. There was really no other excuse for us to touch this much. So I relished in it, floppy and warm and dizzy myself. "You're like a sister to me," he'd said, "but if you weren't..."

And he just let it hang there. Left me wondering if he'd meant it, if he'd even really said it in the first place. He just left it there like a dark stain on the thinly veiled friendship and now it was there and he acknowledged it and it was there and no amount of scrubbing could get that stain out. Not really. Not completely.

I loved him in a way I'd never loved somebody before. I still don't know, years later, where to place him. He was a brother to me but I'd never had a brother so maybe he wasn't. To call him a friend would be blasphemy, an insult to the way a brush of his fingertips lit up my heart. But to call him more would be a lie.

I can't just put him in a box and tuck him away so that box is just sitting there, still open. It will always be open, I'll always miss that limb. And I think that's why Sam's wife is blurry and his son is named Dean and his impala is sitting in the garage, pristine. He couldn't close the box either.

#tessa thinks out loud #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #wincest

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marshmallowprotection · 2 days

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What do you think would be each character’s favorite flavor of cake?

You know what, this is a brilliant question, but I think I'm going to answer it based on vibes rather than trying to break down the semantics of why a character might enjoy a certain flavor over another.

Jaehee

Angel's Food Cake! You thought I was going to say that she would love coffee cake, didn't you? I feel like her favorite kind of dessert is one that is gentle on the tongue. You can't go wrong with fresh fruit and a gentle sponge. I imagine it might take her back to her childhood with her parents and what's better than that? It's nice to have a good memory. I know she makes a lot of different things for her cafe, but for whatever reason, I always think she enjoys the most gentle things.

Zen

Hotteok. Street Pancakes. He just isn't the kind of person who eats a lot of sweets, but I know he loves to visit different vendors because he has a lot of friends who have gotten out of gang life and end up making food for others. I think the closest you can get to him enjoying a suite is something he could pick up from a friend. They can be stuffed with different things, but I think brown sugar and cinnamon might be his go-to! I think they can add nuts too!

Yoosung

Funfetti Cake! I know what you're going to say, I can already hear you, why did I give him the flavor that would make him look like a kid who hasn't tried different things before? Well, I raise you the idea that sometimes people like what they like and it doesn't matter if it seems childish to you, he knows what he likes, and it happens to be sprinkles in his cake batter. You can't go wrong with it at the end of the day.

Jumin

Cheesecake! I just can't see him eating a cake for some reason. That's not to say that he doesn't like them, it's just that when I tried to imagine what he would like to enjoy, I came to the same conclusion. He wants a cheesecake slice and some coffee to go with it. He likes to indulge in the flavor now and again and I think that makes sense for him.

Saeyoung

Red Velvet. Again, I don't know what it is about him, but I feel like he really enjoys cream cheese frosting. The only thing that gets me with this is that in one of the folders that you can purchase from the marketplace, there's a birthday cake with blueberries and strawberries. Which implies to me that he likes blueberries, but there's no other evidence to back that up and there's nothing in the world that says he couldn't put blueberries on any cake so I've decided he's just going to put blueberries on red velvet cake.

Jihyun

Tiramisu! I feel like this makes sense and I don't even need to explain it because the people who get it—will get it and the people who won't—won't. There's just something about him sitting in the back of a cafe with a plate of tiramisu on one side and a scathing 10th grade essay on the other where he's going to argue up and down some sort of pretentious conclusion to an art piece. I'm going to say I support it because he's so goofy, but I can't unsee this.

Saeran

Strawberry Shortcake! The game points this out for me and I don't think I can argue with that. Although, I will say Unknown did have a drawing for his birthday where he had a big Black Forest cake. But, I don't know if that's his favorite, considering that there was a bottle of wine in the picture and I had a bad feeling about who set out a birthday display for him to begin with and why they picked what they picked. In any case, give this man some strawberry shortcake.

Rika

Devil's Food Cake! I didn't pick this because I thought it would be a funny joke. I picked this because she seems like somebody who likes to indulge. She decided she was going to unleash her devil and not let anybody stop her from enjoying herself, no matter what that meant for the people around her who suffered because of it, and tasting a very rich, dense chocolate cake is a representation of that sentiment.

Vanderwood

Carrot Cake! I don't even really have an explanation for this one other than it just feels right. I don't see them as somebody who enjoys a lot of sweets, but if they're going to have something, the most nostalgic thing they could think of would be something from their childhood, and I just think that's carrot cake.

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canonicallyobserving911 · 2 days

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Did it occur to you LFJ might just be tired, or not part of the specific joke or conversation that was happening? It seems kinda weird to try to analyze it and make wild speculation about people’s motives or friendships based on a couple short videos.

@dubiousculturalartifact Is that you, LFJr.? 😅

If it's you, then you can explain how you felt that day and tell everyone how joining in the fun would have been too devastating for you. Otherwise, if you're not and you're one of his rando stans then it's really funny how you're upset over something as simple as HIS demeanor in three seperate BTS videos because the evidence is right there. No one can deny he wasn't happy but earlier in the season he was happy and joking around with Kenny. So let's get this straight... you're upset because he sat there like a statue and he wouldn't interact with Kenny, Oliver and Ryan during filming of the final episodes. Did I get it right? 🤣😂

[My original post.]

It seems like you're hurting for him or something since you're acting like someone stating the obvious about his actions in three different BTS videos was too much for you to handle. GTFOH with that BS please because he's the one who sat there like he couldn't be bothered to interact with the main characters when he's the one playing a PLOT DEVICE CHARACTER.

Have you considered he was acting unusually sad since he couldn't charge any of his stans (it wouldn't be a surprise if you're one of the ones who freely gave him your money) $145 to appear on "Cameo" so he can LIE and make up another ridiculous headcanon about how T*mmy was all deep in thought and preparing for the scene where he literally had one line that was negative and uncaring towards Buck? It costs nothing for anyone to smile and participate with people they claim to enjoy working with especially when he's out here begging his stans to help him become a main character. It's not a good look for him when those who were around him were having a good time and he just sat there staring into oblivion.

Furthermore, there wasn't any wild speculation included in my post so you should go back and reread it for reading comprehension purposes since it seems like that's a skill set you're lacking. So, you should brush up on it and learn how to comprehend a post before you come into my inbox or anyone else's stating he may have had a bad day. You weren't there and neither was I, therefore no one but him and those who were present that day know what happened so get off your LFJr. defense squad spiral and reread what I posted.

I stated it was interesting how he wasn't joking around like he had been earlier in the season and how he looked like he would rather be somewhere else. NOT ONCE DID I SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE! That was you projecting onto him because the evidence proved he wasn't acting the same way when he thought his role could be extended into something more than what it was originally intended.

It's so funny how all of you LFJr. defenders get yourselves tied all up in knots when a simple aspect of the way someone acted is pointed out. I'll be so glad when he's gone off the show and hopefully, you and all his other stans can move on.

FYI, the quote below is what I included in my original post word for word so before you go into someone else's inbox trying to defend him, maybe you should try reading what the OP included again because the evidence speaks for itself and you're the one who looks and sounds ridiculous.

"It's unclear why he's changed from joking to not joking but Kenny likes to have fun, he's the comedian of the group so it's just interesting to see LFJ be anti-social all of a sudden."

Oh and for clarification purposes, the word "unclear" is defined as "uncertain about something" which is NOT NEGATIVE.

Have a nice day LFJr.! Oops I mean LFJr. stan.

#buddie #ryan guzman #kenny choi #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr #911 abc #Canonically Observing 9-1-1 Speaks #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #Anti bucktommy #Anti lou ferigno Jr.#anti tommy kinard #Anti bummy #evan buckley #911 spoilers

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nohoney · 14 hours

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just a lil something that’s inspired from a lil something i did while at edc ☆ ～('▽^人)

warnings: rave bf! bakugou, lil bit of drug use (acid tripping and rolling -> taking ecstasy), exhibitionism (sorta), petting

bakugou looks around, inhaling deeply as he subtly adjusts the boner he has. he’s pretty certain that no one has noticed. there’s hundreds if not thousands of people walking the festival grounds with too many spectacles that he’s sure are grabbing their attention instead. fireworks from one spot, laser shows emitting from adjacent stages, the statues that spit fire—so so many things to look at.

and yet his eyes keep drawing to the strappy fit you’ve chosen to wear.

he’d never known about microkinis before until you held up the tiny top and panty before him. the patch of fabric meant to cover you is small, just enough to cover your nipples and show off the tasty bit of skin underneath your tits. he helped tie the straps into place for you at the hotel, feeling you up and hoping that he could convince you to have a quickie.

instead you guys had to rush out the hotel to start lining up for the shuttles.

it’s four in the morning and you’re now taking a break from the back to back sets from the artists you wanted to see for the night. you and bakugou relax in an area of light up trees and light up structures. when he looks into your eyes, he can see your pupils still a bit dilated wider than they’re supposed to be but your trip is pretty much easing off.

he’s sure that his eyes are the same too.

good thing you and him only took small hits of what mina offered; the two of you only wanted to trip a little on the acid she offered that was rolled up into the joint. it was fun to see you all woozy and dreamy as you watched your favorite artists at the stage they performed at or how in awe you were earlier when the fireworks show had gone off earlier in the night.

you and bakugou took it easy though to save enough reserves for tomorrow night, the very last day. you’ve got the little dime bag that has the pills and at one point you were tempted to take one to further enhance the night. luckily bakugou was able to convince you to hold off.

“for tomorrow, okay baby? remember who we’re seeing tomorrow.”

“mmkay, you’re right.”

you and him sit against a light up structure, other people relaxing in the area as well. bakugou takes off his hydropack so that he can sit back comfortably. he unzips the storage compartment and brings out your pashmina to cover you up. you cozy up, laying back against him and not having any comments when bakugou lays the pashmina over your lap.

“this was soooo fun katsuki… i think it was the right idea for us to take it easy tonight.” you comment, sliding his hands underneath the pashmina so that they rested on your tummy, “you look out for me.”

“of course i do, didn’t want you to run yourself raggedy before you even got to see your favorite.” bakugou hums, drumming his fingers a little against your stomach and seeing the movement beneath the pashmina. he’s still tripping a little because the sight of it looks funny.

you nod your head against him, sighing quietly and relaxing against him.

bakugou doesn’t shut his eyes, only just idly looking over the sights in front of him like the crowds that still walk or the light shows that can be seen from where he’s sitting at. there are other people in the area that resting, getting massages from their friends, and just relishing in whatever mood they seem to be in.

his hands are warm on your stomach, his thumb brushing over your belly button and making you giggle. you pull your legs up a little closer to you so that you can cover the pashmina over your knees as well before relaxing against bakugou again. your lower half is completely covered from the pashmina as you cozy up and relax. his fingers pluck a little at the red straps that he helped cross around your body. out of all the rave outfits you’ve worn in front of him, this one is his all time favorite.

he’s been so painfully hard the entire night because of your fit, needing to adjust discretely every so often.

and you fucking knew that he liked it too because occasionally when you were sure no one was looking, you’d ghost your palm over his erection. he’d look at you and you’d flash him a coy smile, you looking extra doe eyed with the acid in your system and just a bit more giggly. worst was when he stood behind you for one set with kirishima and mina, you sung your little heart out with them and they were none the wiser to one of your hands discreetly rubbing over his boner.

if he had less control, bakugou would have cum in his shorts from the dirty secret that your friends were too fucked up to notice.

so he decides to return the favor.

your body tenses when you feel bakugou’s hands slide lower beneath the pashmina, his fingers skimming past the edge of the tiny bikini bottom and the pad of his fingers pressing right where your clit is. he leans down to your ear and hums a little before muttering, “i like this one, it’s my favorite.”

“i know, chose it ‘cause i knew you’d love it.” you mutter back before your eyes look over the people that are relaxing in the area. other people’s eyes are glossing over as well but no eyes are staring at you in particular.

still, you can’t help but feel that there must be someone that knows that your boyfriend’s fingers are touching you beneath the pashmina.

bakugou is good with his hands, he’s shown it by making you cum from just playing with your clit alone. he applies the right pressure, petting you and kissing your temple that makes you want to whimper. your boyfriend is the best at rough sex but when he’s actually gentle and endearing, it stirs you up more than usual.

your pussy reacts to his touch, the remaining acid in your body still making you a touch more sensitive, and you’re a bit shamed that a wet patch is forming in between your legs. “made me so fuckin’ happy to see you enjoy yourself. you know how pretty you looked when the fireworks were going off earlier?” bakugou mutters against your temple, “you make me so goddamn happy.”

his words are sweet but his touch is making you come undone. you breathe deeply to try to maintain some composure, your mouth dropping occasionally and you let out a quiet sigh. again, you look over to see if anyone has caught on to what the two of you are doing but no one has paid any mind.

they’re all off in their own world.

“so fuckin’ pretty, my baby is so pretty.” bakugou tells you more, his voice dripping with a sentiment that you hear only inside the bedroom. images of your last lovemaking flash in your head, making your mind swim in a euphoric sea of love. you love how he sounds when you’re sucking him off leisurely, how he seems to be weaker for your blowjobs when the two of you take your time and take it slow. all the fucks you and bakugou during the trip were all done in desperation and haste, enough to get it out your system and be presentable enough in front of your friends.

you’re dying for a passionate, slow fuck with your boyfriend.

you hastily grab onto his hand and press it against your stomach, whimpering slightly and hoping that you’re maintaining a straight face. bakugou presses a kiss to your cheek and whispers in your ear, “did i make you cum?”

he’s answered with a stiff nod.

bakugou’s eyes briefly glance up to the sky, recognizing the light orange coming from the hills. the sun is about to rise and now there’s only one more day to attend. one more outfit to help you into, two more pills to take for when both of your favorite artist plays for the final day of the festival, and then one plane ride home to collapse and have a proper rest after the most sleep deprived weekend you’ve ever had.

“c’mon, let’s get back to the shuttles and back to our room.”

bakugou gives you the hydro pack to wear on your back instead, opting to piggy you back across the festival grounds and to the shuttle pick up. you tied the pashmina around your waist for some modesty before hopping onto his back, clinging onto him like a sloth and whimpering small sounds as he made the trek across the festival grounds.

“you’re so bad katsuki.” you whisper in his ear, “how dare you.”

he only chuckles, hoisting you up a little to readjust you on his back for better leverage and continues on, seeing kirishima and mina waiting for them by the shuttle pick up.

“one more day baby, alright? that’s when we can go all out.”

“mm-hmm, ‘m excited.” you yawn, smiling over the hidden pills you and your boyfriend will consume in another fifteen hours when you return for the very last day of the festival.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou smut #tw drugs

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shysuccubusstuff · 15 hours

Text

boyfriend! calcharo pt. 1?

Content: established relationship, sfw, non proof-reader.

Note: i just started the game so I still don't have him that characterised so, I'm sorry if I mess up :( + I will probably post a part two WITH the nsfw stuff.

Husband! Calcharo who fell in love with you at first sight.

He met you during one of the meetings, feisty looks, snapping at someone for trying to touch you, how could he not feel interested?

Soon, both of you had to work in a mission together, protecting each other from the predators.

After that mission, several missions went on, always sticking together, even to the point of seeing each other out of working hours.

He sees you as a lovely person, funny, joyful, someone who lights up the room as soon as they enter.

Despite his clear feelings, he tried very hard to deny them, always telling himself stuff like: "oh, it's just because we have connected fast", "it's just because i'm not that used to engaging in enjoyable conversations", that was not the case. And he knew it after two long years, each day seeing your pretty face while you fought the monsters.

After he finally addressed his feelings, he was completely weak to you, voice shaking, hands sweating, God, that was making him feel embarrassed, cause why would he turn red just because you had touched his chest for a few seconds? He was not that old, but he was not some young teenager to go around blushing like some child. Yeah, no longer doing that...

Forget that, he was completely lost, sometimes losing his focus after seeing you fighting, hair swaying as you moved, eyes determinated, God, did you know how pretty you looked?

This situation kept going on until one night after ending a difficult request, both of you went to take a few drinks you told him: "how can you be so shy? we've been dating for over six months!" His face turned as red as a cherry, words being stuck to his throat, it was after a few minutes that he was finally able to talk, voice a bit shaky: "what...? don't play with me." Your face turned red, almost matching his own: "so, we're not dating??" Oh God, this was getting so embarrassing.

The next morning, after drinking far more than both of you should have, the topic was addressed, reaching the conclusion of starting to date since that moment.

Sadly, it took at least one month for one of us to take the HUGE step of... holding hands... in private... it was you the one who took his calloused hand, both of your faces feeling as if they were boiling.

#calcharo wuthering waves #wuthering waves #calcharo x reader #calcharo #fanfiction #x reader #wuthering waves headcanon

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silaslich · 1 day

Text

It’s My Heart, I Can’t Cut It Out

Simon Riley x John Mactavish

Wc - 5.7k | chapter 1 of ? | check cover art for tags+warnings

The hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley is exactly how John remembers it.

Teeming with life and noise. Hollering children and chatty witches. Every sense is overwhelmed; theres a street vendor on the corner selling pumpkin pasties and there are owls sitting in cages overhead when John stops outside of the Magical Menagerie for a quick break to give his dodgey knee a rest. The owls hoot and coo at one another loudly - chattering away, some are as white as snow and others as black as the midnight sky, their eyes a medley of bright yellows or burnt amber.

Every now and then, as he stands observing, Gambol and Japes joke shop explodes with colour. John watches in fond amusement, he deduces there must be some kind of charm within the shops very walls, it explodes like powder fireworks that whir and fizz when activated.

As the man begins to weave his way through the street he spots a lonesome young boy, his nose and palms pressed flatly up against the glass window of a shop. Looking up - John reads the sign above the door, Quality Quidditch Supplies, he guesses the latest broom is out on display. Sure enough as he passes, his eyes catch sight of a magnificent broom; its wood is dark and the design is sleek with silver crossbars and neatly preened bristles. John doesn’t know much about brooms and what makes them good or not, but he can surely agree that it is a handsome broom indeed.

Continuing on his way, he passes another shop. It had been one of his favourites during his youth when he studied at Hogwarts - Flourish and Blotts. Textbook after textbook, with whatever bronze knuts and silver sickles his mam could spare, or whatever he’d managed to save up over the Christmas’ and birthdays that passed by.

He’d read the entire potioneering section from back to front by the time he was in his Third-year.

John thinks about stopping in, for old times sake, but his level-headedness is in full control today, he’s far too busy to mull around London and shop.

While everything feels so familiar, it still seems very distant in his mind. The layout has been the same for hundreds of years now, albeit some of the shops have moved during John’s lifetime, he still feels a sense of disorientation when it comes to finding the only store he needs. Just when John is about to flag down a sinewy-elderly witch in an emerald cloak to ask her to point him in the right direction - that’s when it hits him.

The smell.

He can smell the foul and putrid stench of the Apothecaries; like bad eggs and rotten cabbages, it drifts over the crowd of witches and wizards and hits him square in the nose.

His eyes follow the direction in which the repulsive smell lingers on the air, he spots the overhead signs quickly as they sway in time with the cool August breeze.

Mr Mulpepper’s Apothecary, alongside Slug & Jiggers.

The wizard is slightly surprised at how little has changed with the two shops over the years, nestled side by side, as competitive as ever with their bright - abundant displays and discount placards hanging in the windows. He remembers how funny it had been back in the day to watch the enchanted placards change every few minutes, depending on what the other corresponding one had written on it. He’d managed to get his hands on a full sized unicorn horn from Mr Mulpepper for a mere seven galleons once, he’d never felt so lucky in all his life, he didn’t even need the bloody unicorn horn. He ended up giving it to Gary.

A little bell jingles above the door when John steps foot inside of Mr Mulpepper’s shop, the wizard smiles, nostalgia seeping in. His eyes rake over the shelves, filled to the brim with glass bottles and vials of varying sizes. Some bubble and some sizzle. Others sit dormant, thick and soupy in viscosity. There are pale powders in jars and plucked feathers and hairs stuffed into cork-stoppered flasks. From floor to ceiling the shelves and units are plentiful, there isn’t a single spare place for anything more.

Out of the corner of his eye John notices a cauldron bubbling behind the counter, an earthy - mint-like scent filling the air, coming second only to the obvious smell of a dropped Ashwinder egg. A green smoke plumes from the cauldron and the closer the wizard gets the better he is able to identify it, a Wiggenweld potion is brewing.

John is quick to scan for what he needs, he had memorised his list on the way to London, wanting to be as quick and efficient as possible. He stocks himself up on the essentials, keeping in mind the number of students he’ll be having under his watch.

He purchases more than is necessary, he thinks, but he would rather be prepared.

He picks up a multitude of supplies; flobberworms, pickled murtlap tentacles, valerian root, powdered moonstone, jobberknoll feathers, four ounces worth of dragon liver, lacewing flies and sopophorous beans as well as other lesser important items for his own personal stores for the term.

With his arms full to the point he cannot physically carry anymore, John makes his way over to the counter. The bottles and jars clink as they meet the old wooden surface, chipped and scratched with age. Before he can even ring the small silver bell atop the wooden counter to alert the store owner of his presence, an old wizard peeks from around a corner, his big brown eyes made to look even bigger then they are by his incredibly thick spectacles. The older wizard smiles, “ah- I thought I heard the door go” he says, rounding the corner entirely now and wiping his sullied hands down the front of his apron.

He barely spares John a second glance before he starts eyeing up the jars and bottles, muttering to himself as he tallies up the cost, punching the numbers into an ancient looking machine that’s buttons resembled that of a 1900’s typewriter.

The young wizard doesn’t know what to say, watching the man as he counts, noting he loses his place twice and has to start all over again. John smiles to himself, even years later Mr Mullpepper is just the same.

When the old wizard is finally done totalling up John’s cost and takes his payment, his muddy eyes flit up to John’s very briefly, only to do a double take. His hands still where he had begun wrapping the fragile bottle of doxy eggs in brown paper, he squints his eyes and leans invasively into John’s space. He smacks his dry lips together, “well I say“ he starts, “is that John MacTavish or have my eyes finally quit on me?”.

John’s lips curl into a gentle smile, one that makes crow’s feet wrinkle the outer corners of his eyes, he notices as Mr Mullpepper’s gaze lingers on his left eye specifically, and the scar that now runs vertically through it.

Although this makes his jaw tick slightly, John retains his composure, knowing what a difference it must be from how the elderly shop keeper remembers him.

Gone are the days where he’d catch a train on a Sunday with Gary and spend the day perusing bookshop shelves and scouring through the many apothecary bottles and jars that sat crowded on the shelves, looking for the ones with the most gruesome contents to make each others stomachs flip. He’d looked very different back then; smaller width ways but near enough the same height, he had never been the biggest or the strongest; and with thick waves of hair that sat just beneath his ears too - that was enough to earn him a tease or three from his classmates

John hadn’t returned to Diagon Alley since Gary’s death.

It happened just before they started their seventh and last year. Then John cut off all of his hair and became even more reclusive then he had been before he met Gary; he threw himself into his studies because it was the only thing he found that helped him keep himself upright at that time.

“Aye - Mr Mullpepper” he starts with a nod of his head, “been quite a while hasn’t it” it’s a fact not a question. John isn’t sure if Mr Mullpepper remembered Gary or knew of his death, or if he even put two and two together and realised that Gary’s death was the reason John hadn’t been back to his shop. John had never been to the Apothecary alone, today would be the first time, and as he predicted - it just doesn’t feel right.

There’s a few stretched out seconds of the elderly man simply staring, as if breathing John in, taking in all that has changed and all that is still so strikingly familiar.

The older wizard leans even closer, taking in every detail of John’s face with a wry brow, he hums to himself - deep in thought.

“I heard about your friend son” he says quietly, frail hands returning to their task of wrapping bottles, “nasty thing what happened” another bottle wrapped and another click in John’s jaw, before he can open his mouth to interject - the old man continues. “You two were close, no? Don’t think there was ever a time I saw you two that you weren’t attached at the hip” the older wizard smiles to himself, as if relaying a memory in his mind. Another bottle. He sighs, “I’m sorry that you had to go through something like that son” there’s a note of empathy in his voice, an understanding, “losing someone that close to you at any age is unbearable - but you were just a lad” John feels the lump forming in his throat but he’s too caught up in the words to say anything, even if he tried he’s not convinced any would surface.

After the last bottle is wrapped the older man finally looks up and meets John’s eyes and he audibly gasps when he sees the expression on the young wizards face.

“Oh-“ his lips open but the words take a moment to make it from his brain to his tongue, “I’m so sorry” he says, having not really thought about the impact of what he was saying, he opens his mouth to speak again but John simply waves his hand dismissively.

“It’s alrate - honest” John says affirmatively, seeing the man’s expression falter, thinking he perhaps went a little too far. No matter how raw the wound still feels, John knows there is not much point in dwelling on it, he will forever love and miss Gary - but he can no longer place his mental wellbeing in the hands of someone who is six feet underground.

John clears his throat, knocking back the lump that still threatens to choke him up, “it didn’t feel the same coming back without him, but I find I’m in need of a few things and you happen to be only man I trust for such things” he smiles down at the elderly wizard and watches as he mirrors him, his face splitting almost in two “you’re certainly most welcome John” his lips stick to his crooked-yellow teeth as he smiles and John can’t help but find it a little bit endearing.

For a handful of drawn out seconds the two men stand grinning at each other like idiots, old memories lingering at the forefront of their minds. Some sad and some not so. Without faltering the old wizard clears his throat, “so John - what have you been up to the last few years, hmm?” He leans close against the countertop, eager for the young wizards response.

John’s lips quirk into a half smile, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, “been travelling around for the last few years, it’s my first time back in England since last year actually, staying for good this time - I think” he’s giving up more then he probably should, but what could it matter now? It’s because he hasn’t spoken to someone in so long, someone that isn’t a nurse or a nosey pest investigating what happened and subsequently hounding him for answers he can’t provide.

Continuing on with his task of wrapping up the bottles and jars, Mr Mullpepper hums in acknowledgement, focusing on not damaging John’s purchases. “I travelled around myself when I was about your age” he tells, wrapping the goods in a brown paper parcel, “I went as far as Australia mind you, but this place was always in the back of my head, wouldn’t have it any other way now though you know” he meets John’s eyes once more with a knowing smile, grey brows raised at him. John nods, flattening his lips, “I felt the same way for a long time, each time I came home to visit I found I didn’t really want to leave again”. Now he really was oversharing, he’s settling back into civilian life a little too quickly for his liking.

John feels the question pop into his head and he can’t help himself but to ask it, “if you were so happy in Australia why not open a shop over there?” It’s at that moment that John breathes in everything around him, the old comforts of the awful smells and the jars that are filled with liquids that bubble and eyes that follow you wherever you move; is this what this man’s true happiness looks like?

It looks as if John had handed Mr Mullpepper a sour boiled sweet, the expression on his face twists as he digests John’s question, truly taking his time with coming up with his answer. Then he laughs, more to himself, “my wife didn’t want to move” he shakes his head with a smile and John tilts his head, not sure if he’s quite satisfied with that answer. He hums, “but surely if she knew it would make you happy she would go with you, am I wrong?” John unknowingly starts to lean in closer, anticipating the old man’s comeback. “Well she wasn’t actually my wife at that time, but she already had an established career here, and a good one too. I would never ask her to give up all of that so I could have a silly little shop somewhere sunny” he laughs once more, “dreary old London will do me just nicely” he nods at his words, satisfied.

The young wizard nods in understanding, but in reality, he doesn’t really understand.

Real - tangible love has always escaped John. Sure, he can brew it in a bottle, but it’s no where near as powerful as the real thing.

He loves his family and he loved Gary, but it’s not the same, not in the same way that something unseen ties two people together. Whether it be fate or chance or whatever else is written in story books, John has never come into contact with it - because he’s not exactly sure he believes in it. Not because he doesn’t believe it exists, but because he doesn’t believe it’s for everyone.

It’s the unfathomable idea that there is someone out there made for John and he the same for someone else, and the likelihood of him meeting that person would be one in a billion chance that he is sure he is unlucky enough to never encounter.

He once believed that he and Gary were meant to be. Platonic soulmates that finished each other’s sentences and enjoyed all of the same things to the point it was eerily concerning. John would have been content spending his days with Gary, reading books together in silence and coexisting comfortably without the need for anything but each other. Maybe they would have had a shop together, leaving their other dreams at the door and being content enough with the privilege of each other’s company from then onwards.

Then on a random winter morning John had woken with shattered dreams. Gary was gone.

“Anyways - that’s enough of my rambling” John cuts off his own train of thought before he gets himself in any deeper, “I better be heading to Hogwarts” he bites his tongue as soon as the words leave his mouth. Fucks sake.

The old wizard’s eyes practically triple in size at John’s words, the penny drops and John finds himself scrambling on his hands and knees to pick it up. “Hogwarts?” The elderly wizard queries, scratching his wrinkled chin, “are you teaching there this year?”. As much as he wants to tell the old man that’s he’s misheard him, John knows better, he knows how much he’ll have to rely on this shop from now on and doesn’t want to tarnish this relationship that’s already been standing for well over a decade. The younger wizard nods with a smile, “sure am, potions professor” John flicks the parcel of goods where it still sits on the counter between the two of them, “if that much wasn’t already obvious”.

For a moment, the older wizard pauses, looking from John’s face to the brown parcel of ingredients on the counter and then back up again. “Pardon me for saying this so plainly son, but surely you’re still a bit young to be a professor” it’s either an insult or a compliment, and at this very moment in time, John can’t decide which it is, but he doesn’t have much time to think it over - he really needs to get to Hogwarts.

“Not as young as I like to think I am” John says, his lips pulled into a thin line, he really should be going. Mr Mullpepper simply nods, “I could say the same thing about myself” he laughs to himself, scratching his stubbled cheek, “I better let you get off, bet you’ve got lots to do to get ready for the new term next week” he seeks. John wants to recoil in disgust over the fact that the new term is only a week away but catches himself before he does. He nods, “more than I even have time for, typically” he retrieves his large parcel and begins to step back, putting the distance between the old wizard and himself.

“It was nice seeing you again son, take care now” Mr Mullpepper says, finally turning around to stare into the bowl of his cauldron as it bubbles away, the smoke having turned from an electric green to a smokey grey. Although he isn’t looking at him, John nods to the old man, “you too, you’ll be seeing me again soon I’m sure of it” the young wizard smiles, the shop owner turns his head to meet John’s gaze and returns the smile. “I’ll look forward to it, it’ll be just like the old days and you can tell me all about your classes”.

John nods emptily, repeating the words but much much quieter, “just like the old days”. He uses his spare hand to wave and nods at the man as he leaves, the little bell jingling again as he shuts the door behind himself, John’s ears catch the tail end of “farewell!”just before the door clicks shut.

The young wizard looks out into the street, the crowds of people move in smooth rhythms like flowing rivers and the shops are rammed with last minute school shoppers - they carry books by the arm full and have bags with the uniform shop logo, Madam Malkin’s, etched into it. John thinks back to a time when that was him, all those years ago, he thinks about how excited he had been to be accepted into Hogwarts; what a path it had put him onto, and it has all led up to this very moment.

He is completely in two minds about all of it.

It’s later on, in the confines of his room at The Leaky Cauldron, that John’s eye begins to burn furiously in his skull - seemingly out of nowhere.

He shifts in his bed, it squeaks and groans beneath his weight, but John just can’t seem to get comfortable. With no active wound or injury in itself he can do little more than ride out the pain, his potions would be futile, or at least the ones he has on hand would be.

It feels like there are needles deep under his skin, poking through and puncturing his flesh, the searing pain is hot to the touch, his fingertips feel as if they’re touching freshly cooked meat - fresh off a skillet and sizzling. He has felt pain before, pain much worse than this, but it doesn’t make it any easier. His body is tired and his mind seeks rest, but the itch behind his left eye is enough to make him want claw it out of his own head - would the lack of an eye take the pain away?

Who knows? Certainly not John.

When he wakes the next morning, he feels even more tired than he had been when he laid his head down against his pillow for the night. He had been too hot and irritated to sleep, the pain in his head and eye too much to ignore. His muscles feel heavy as he dresses for the day, a crisp three piece suit, purchased for the occasion; it’s a deep navy blue in colour and he pairs it with an indigo tie that has a silky-like finish to it. John feels rigid, too stuffy in all of his layers, as if his necktie is trying to strangle him to death - it’s all a little too formal for his liking.

He knows first impressions mean a great deal, and for that reason and that reason only does he force himself to grin and bear the discomfort. Not only will John be meeting so many new people, most of them faculty, he knows he’ll be back in the presence of some familiar faces, some a damn sight more welcome than others. All the same, he wills himself to hold his tongue and use his manners, he owes it to Price.

John boards the Hogwarts express at ten-to-nine in the morning and is set to arrive at twenty-past-five in the evening.

Yes, he could have used a quicker - more efficient mode of transportation, but he didn’t really want to. It was far too risky to apparate in his current physical condition, the same for riding a broom. He wasn’t the best with the Floo Network systems and he didn’t know of any Portkeys that led directly to Hogwarts, if there even were any.

The long train journey gives John plenty of time to think, maybe too much time, he plays over everything in his head. Rehearsing how he’ll introduce himself, wondering what his living space will be like, weighing up whether or not he’s made the right decision even coming all together.

He tries to ignore the dull pain in his head. It throbs rhythmically, pulsing behind his bad eye, making him blink harshly from the intrusion of pain. He’s hoping it’s his anxieties playing up, that once he’s there and settled that he’ll stop getting the headaches - at least he can brew something stronger at the school if it doesn’t subside.

The wizard remains productive. Writing up some lesson plans for the first years, coming up with a to-do list for when he actually gets there, already thinking about ways he can keep himself busy until the school year officially starts up. Thanks to the lull of the trains carriage and the lack of other passengers, John manages a few hours of sleep, while not the most comfortable - it definitely does him good to shut his eyes for a little bit.

By the time he’s stirred awake by the jolting of the carriage, the sun has crept down past the horizon and the sky has transformed into a beautiful euphony of buttery-peach and a deep shade of violet. They meld together on the backdrop of the rolling hills, lined with woolly sheep and highland cows, John knows they’re close - he’s made this journey enough times to know.

The train compartment is illuminated in a streaky glow of pale yellow, he’s grateful that it isn’t too bright, it’s just enough for him to read his papers - it’s soothing in a way. It gives him a chance to look over all of his paperwork one final time before he begins to stack it all together neatly, putting it away for safe keeping, making way for a new flurry of nerves that tighten in John’s throat.

By the time he’s departed on foot from Hogsmeade station and is reaching the stretch of a short dirt path that leads toward the school gates, it is already dark enough that John needs to use his wand to cast the lumos charm, the tip of his wand now able guide his way through the evening air. He had sent his tawny owl, Einar, ahead of him; letting him out of the carriage window as they approached the Hogsmeade station, he was sending word to Price of his owners arrival. Sure enough, as John approaches the Covered Bridge, he’s able to make out the silhouette of a man, one with wide shoulders and sturdy legs. With each step the man takes, the other man’s face is illuminated in a deep amber glow - the familiarity makes John quirk a smile.

“Filthy muggle habit tha’is” a smile stretches across his lips as he speaks, watching as Price takes a long- final drag of his cigar, shaking his head with the same easy smile John wears. “Shut it you” the older wizard scolds, emptily, stepping forward to greet John with a hand shake - one that leads them to pull each other into one another’s arms, firm hands patting backs as they spare a breathy laugh.

It has been so long, John thinks, he won’t say it out loud, but he’s missed the familiar smell of his old friend - tobacco and fresh parchment, with the sadly recognisable hint of powdered moonstone. Not much has changed at all, he fears.

The two men break away from their embrace and simply look at each other for a few long seconds, despite the years that have passed, nothing but the faint signs of age and wear and tear have changed the two of them. John notices that Price’s eyes linger on his bad eye, a minuscule crease in his old friend’s brow makes John slightly unnerved, but it appears that Price catches himself quickly. Price quirks a slight-smile, “it looks like you’ve healed nicely” he notes, “I was worried when I received word from the Ministry about the incident, as soon as I opened the letter and saw your name my heart fell out of my arse - I can’t lie to you” despite the way Price forces a laugh from his chest, John can tell he is deadly serious.

Price may retain his stone-like composure on the outside, but inside he is probably, if not definitely, the most caring man John has ever met in his entire life.

John smiles, somewhat somber, thinking back to the time in which that letter was sent. “You know me sir, takes a lot more then a severing charm to knock me down”, John puffs out his chest, a futile attempt to make light of the topic, Price sees straight through him. The statement is true; in part, it would take a damn sight more to deter John Mactavish from something he has firmly set his mind to. He’s had unforgivables hurled at him too many times to count and the amount of dittany that he’s used during his Auror years would put any apothecary to shame, but even so, nothing had stopped him.

Until now, until everything changed.

John knows that Price knows. The physical injury hadn’t been the main detail of the letter, it was merely an afterthought, a by the way. Thats why he’s here now; unfit for fighting, forced into the confines of a classroom to sit behind a desk and drone on and on about the many uses of powdered root of asphodel. He’s grateful, he’s one of the lucky ones, he was able to keep his life, but he had so many more things he planned to do before even thinking about what would come after his career as an Auror.

Price clasps a hand to John’s shoulder, a steady grip as their gazes meet, “how are you feeling?” The older wizard asks, a faint lilt of his scouse accent dripping through his words, he speaks gently.

From the look on John’s face, you’d think he’s been asked to recite a Shakespearian play off by heart, he opens his mouth to answer but takes a moment to reconsider his words.

He thinks deeply, compressing everything that’s happened recently, he’s stacked and folded everything neatly and filed them away in his mind - collecting dust. He’s tried this before, and sooner or later, the filing cabinets overflow and spill, a mess for him to have to clean up. Despite this, he feels the need to keep it tucked away, out of sight out of mind. It’s an automatic response for him given his last few years spent in isolation from anyone he felt he could really talk to and open up to, John knows that he’s back in the presence of a man that is there to listen - no matter how big or small the issue seems. Yet, he can’t bring himself to show his belly this early on, the soft weak parts of himself need to be protected. He trusts Price with his life, but he wants to retain his false armour for just a little while longer.

John’s mind seems to come back to him, and with an empty smile and the crinkle of his eyes, “not too bad mate”.

“Not too bad at all”

It’s dark. So dark that John can’t see his own hands in front of him, it leaves him disoriented, unstable on his feet as he tries to catch his bearings.

He blinks his eyes quickly, willing his eyes to adjust to the dark, he hasn’t got his wand - and he’s never been the best at wandless magic. Too busy of a mind he was always told.

The sound of his own breathing catches his ears, it’s unsteady, faltering as his heart beats painfully against his ribcage. There’s an uneasy feeling that begins to take root in his chest, spreading through his lungs, making it harder and harder to breathe.

His feet patter against the floor, it’s cold and his feet are bare, he’s dazed and confused. The sensations around him feel real, the chill in the air and the way he can feel his breath fog the space close his face, the cold Earth against the bottoms of his feet and the dread that licks its way up his spine. It’s all too vivid to be a dream, a little too real, too close to home.

It’s clumsy, the way John steps forward, arms extended out at his sides to balance himself, to see if there’s anything around him to lean on or anchor himself to. There isn’t. He continues to blink, each time harder than the last, every one of his senses is beyond his reach - not feeling real.

Another step, and then another.

Something warm touches his toes, it makes him still, unsure on whether or not to progress forward. But this is all a dream, there are no consequences here.

He moves ahead, his feet trudging through something warm and wet, viscous in nature.

It’s familiar. It’s foreign. It’s blurred.

John feels dizzy. His head pounds and his eyes sting from strain, the pain feels so real, a little too real. As he takes another step forward, arms still outstretched, his fingers graze something. Something solid. Something real.

For some reason, John’s blood chills, the hairs on his arms and at the nape of his neck stand on end, fight or flight activated.

Suddenly, the darkness evaporates, as if it’s sucked out of the air.

Johns palm flattens against whatever he had bumped into, he can see his hand now, he watches as blood drips between his splayed fingers.

His mouth opens to make a noise but nothing comes out, he’s silenced, unable to cry out for help or mercy.

His eyes quickly trail up, following the blood that drips, directly to the source. From the mangled jaws of a beast; a half man - half creature, sharp blood-coated teeth grind together and John can’t rip his eyes away.

He’s trapped in the pull of it, in the way the creatures chest rattles and the way the stench of copper and decaying flesh fills his nostrils- bile rises in his throat.

John can’t think, he can’t blink, his body isn’t his own. He stares at the beast, looking up, finally realising the creature’s stare is fixed on him, watching with lidded eyes - John knows those eyes.

A hazel tree from somewhere he can’t remember. The way they bleed into a gentle green in the centres. There’s delicate flecks of gold in the brown parts that he remembers, he’d memorised where each fleck was, but it’s out of his reach now.

John screams. He hears it, inside of his head, echoing around him. The beast has its claw in his head, its sharp unguis piercing his eye with a haunting wet squelch.

It’s his bad eye, the one that bears the scars, the reason for his downfall.

The man can feel the pain, it’s white-hot, it’s agony. It rips through every part of him, the blood and fluid rushes out of his head and down his front, staining his skin. His screams tear from his throat, so much so there is little to no noise anymore, he’s severing his own vocal cords from the strain.

He shuts his eye tightly, he can’t look at the creature any longer, it’s maiming him, it’s killing him.

Then, through the pain and the noise and the darkness, there’s another familiarity that breaks John out of his own mind.

“Johnny?”

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