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wh1zz3rbr0wn · 1 year

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me ranting on the marvin triolgy i unironically love the marvin trilogy so much?? in trousers makes no sense. esp the end song/ begginning depends on what like version ur listening too. i heard this theory that in trousers is actually marvin being hypnotised by mendle in therapy and it would make sense!! like it'd explain the inaccuracies between it and falsettos. Like Trina having two kids, as mentioned in your lips and me, 'the oldest drink wine the baby's wailing', while in falsettos Jason is the only child known. And in you gotta die sometime when whizzer says i dont smoke but in whizzer going down marvin says 'he takes me in his arms and he lights *another* cigarette.' Then i love how they re used im breaking down from in trousers and using it in the 2016 revival of it. imo it fits better in falsettos because you go more in depth about both trina and whizzer charaters. In trousers musicals actually is so bloody good??? like every song is great, my favourite song is marvin's giddy seizures. It highlights marvin's suicidal attempts and how it doesn't get noticed unless he acts out., then the whole thing just sounds so good. i wish the lesbians got more screen time though because theyre so radicial. every scene they're in they just light the stage up. I love how all the charaters are wrote. I would like to know if in high school ladies at 5 o'clock/ the r--e of mrs goldurg. are we meant to take that literally? im assuming we are because marvin says something along the lines of for my 14th birthday i was hoping you could show me the wonders of the bed. i think we would be, and if we are what the fuck? like i know marvin is an incredibly abusive person before about time but jesus christ. i didnt expect that. now i do adore that marvin's abusive behaviours are acknowledged and reprimanded unlike another musical that attempts to do something alike to falsettos, rent, where all characters have abusive behaviours. i wont dwell on the failures of rent too much because this isn't about rent. I have saw that 2004 college production amd i find it hilarious that in the thrill of first love that marvin drops whizzer, i hope that was scripted because that seems like such a Marvin behaviour. at the same time it would also be funny if it wasnt. either way i like it. anyway in marvin at the physiatrist, in the og off brodway cast, mendle says its queer mr marvin which is so funny to me. on the topic of the og off brodway cast, i find it fun how chip zien played both marvin and mendle in in trousers and march of the falsettos/falsettoland. marvin in in trousers and mendle in MotF/falsettoland respectably. I genuinely adore everything about falsettos. the openeing number is such a good opening song, i dont think ive heard a better one. Then my father's a homo always makes me laugh and i just love how jason doesn't hate his father for being gay, its how his homosexuality tore the family apart. Then this had better come to a stop is such agood number. i love how in the og of brodway run of it the late again sounds like yapping. then the way that trina and whizzer sort of bond over marvin's abusive tendencies is heartbreaking. A tight knit family reprise is a great song again. then the chess game, marvin my guy you know you agreed to let whizzer win cmon now. i never wanted to love you is heartbreaking. and the games i play makes me violently sob. march of the falsettos made no sense to me until i realised that it was a song to remind you that acts of affection are NOT masculine at all. i honestly dont get why act one didnt end with i never wanted to love you, but father to son is heartwarming compared to the previous songs. i love the second act so much. marvin has done everything to change himself yet the love of his life is stripped away from him. it is like a reminder that due to his past actions he can never like fully be a good person. he changed. he did im not putting that down, but his actions can always haunt him.

#falsettos #in trousers #just ranting #long rant #rant #musicals #the marvin trilogy

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steveisagay · 11 months

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How to fix the damage

Disabled Munver

Warnings: Ableist language, written at 1 am

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 6.5 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Today was a shit day for everyone. Eddie lost his temper at the kids, yelling through the halls that he didn't need to be observed like some animal everyday. Jason also lost his shit, but in a different way. He got pissed at the whole idea of physical therapy and ended up falling badly. He claimed that if the doctors thought that physical therapy would've helped that he could walk. So his physical therapist, not wanting to start a fight, let him try to walk with one of the rails. He clutched it and got about three steps, but then he fell. Jason had always been stubborn, so then he dragged himself along the floor until he was almost to the elevator.

When Eddie finally got back from his run to the vending machine to clear his thoughts he walked in on Jason trying to lay on his side and sobbing loudly.

"Hey dude... You doing okay?" Eddie cautiously asked, knowing how he could fly off the handle at times.

"Do I look like I'm fucking okay?" His voice started to break as he turned his head towards the metalhead. He looked pathetic, but Eddie would never admit that. Carver had gone through hell, he got ripped in half for God's sake. He couldn't help but pity him, but the last thing Jason Carver wanted was anymore pity. It was like seeing a soaked puppy on the street, Eddie couldn't pull over to pick up the soaked puppy cause it'd just run away.

Eddie made his way over to his shitty hospital bed, sitting on the side so he could talk to Carver. "Listen, you seem like you're having a completely terrible day," He talked with his hands in a more enthusiastic manner in an attempt to cheer the blonde up, "I can give you my blankets, pillows, or even better I can try to help you on your side or something like that."

"No- Nononono, I don't need any of your help, or pity or any of that! I'm already a cripple I don't need to be treated like one!" Jason exploded at Eddie. Everything was just too much today, Eddie's kids brats were running and screaming all day and then his physical therapist couldn't see the fact that he was broken beyond repair. "I'm a fucking cripple so now my life is down the drain, I can't even piss by myself cause the bathroom door is too small for my chair!" Hot tears ran down Jason's cheeks and Eddie couldn't just sit across from him anymore.

He got up to sit by Jason Carver making sure to grab his two limp pillows. "Jason, just because you were through a horrific event doesn't mean you're useless, you shouldn't talk to yourself like that-"

"I can't fucking walk Munson, a year ago I was preparing for basketball games and now I'm a fucking vegetable!"

Eddie felt himself move without thinking and grabbed onto the collar of Jason's sweater. "Shut the fuck up, just shut the fuck up for one second! You aren't a fucking vegetable, if you were a vegetable you wouldn't be able to feel this much about this! Now let me help you get comfortable so you're not stuck on you're back like some sort of turtle,"

He took his time to move his pillows under Carver and propping him up so he was sitting more. When he got done moving the other like some sort of rag doll Jason had calmed down and was clinging onto him like a little kid. "Is there anything else you wanna add?" Eddie looked down at him. Jason shook his head in his shoulder.

10-20 minutes later Jason finally spoke up, "Munson?" Really what he wanted to ask was why was he still here? Why'd he care so much? But maybe this was one of those times where it was best to hold his tongue. "If I wasn't just some cripple... Then..?" His voice started to wobble some more. "Then why'd my parents go back to their life after they figured I'd be okay?"

"You're strong Carver, plus if they're shitty enough to leave their son in need then they can go fuck themselves," He looked down at him, then quickly changed the topic, "You wanna try to fit you're nap in?"

#eddie munson #jason carver #disabled munver #munver #tigerfreak #jason carver angst

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 2 years

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Hi hello I am OBSESSED with your most recent fic, it’s pacing and emotional points hits so good. I just have two questions, 1) does Tim realize the suicidal ish thoughts Jason is/was having and 2) I know its a cliff hanger on purpose but HOW do they deal with this after and irl

Howdy yes I would love to talk about that actually :)

Here is the fic I’m talking about, and I guess this is the directors commentary

1) I think if you had asked Tim before the fic took place whether he thinks Jason is or has been suicidal, he would have come down somewhere along the lines of “I mean probably,” just because I do believe suicidal ideation is Tim’s normal state of being, and I can say from experience that if you are a person experiencing suicidal ideation you tend to assume others do too. Also like… Jason’s life has kinda sucked. It’s a relatively safe assumption.

I don’t think, however, that it was on Tim’s mind during the events of the fic. When I was planning and writing the thing, I imagined Tim as (1) extraordinarily uncomfortable with the entire experience and (2) responding to that by treating Jason as a puzzle that Tim can solve, even going as far as to think that he’s more equipped than Jason to do so. More than once in the story, Tim treats Jason’s mind as something Tim can poke into doing what Tim wants.

Tim didn’t exhibit a lot of empathy during that fic, and that was an intentional choice. He wasn’t really trying to help Jason feel better; all his problem-solving was oriented around getting out of the situation. He was scared and impatient in weird circumstances where he didn’t have a lot of control over what happened, and it was supposed to show.

I think the most important thing to hammer home about Tim’s perceptions and motivation is that when it comes to trauma, Jason and Tim overlap in a really uncomfortable and difficult way. Maybe a different sibling (the earliest mental draft of this story actually used Damian instead) would have been able to approach Jason from a place of understanding and validation, but Tim can’t really do that. Tim isn’t going to stand there and say that Jason’s right because he doesn’t believe that, and I don’t know that he could really be convinced otherwise.

Now could he have approached Jason with kindness? Could he have engaged with the nuance of the situation and their history? Yeah, totally, but that wasn’t the story I wanted to tell. I chose Tim over Damian here because I think the idea of Jason explaining his own consciousness to Damian is interesting, but the idea of Jason defending his own consciousness against Tim is fascinating.

The fic is loosely inspired by a therapy exercise that I saw a few times in IOP— the therapist places an empty chair in front of the patient and tells them to imagine a younger version of themself sitting there. What do you say to your younger self? What does your younger self say back? I’m not a huge fan of the actual therapy technique, but I did think it was an interesting idea to play with story-wise.

I ended up deciding on Tim as the secondary character because Tim personally experienced the aftermath of Jason’s death and has a completely different perception of events, with the maximum potential for conflict. That sets up a situation where Tim pushes back against everything Jason says, and Jason gets to defend his current and younger self in the argument.

I played with this concept for months, asking myself just what Jason needs out of an interaction with his younger self. If he’s looking at that empty chair from therapy, what needs to happen? The first thing I arrived at was validation. Jason needs to acknowledge that what happened to him was horrible, and though he doesn’t agree with everything his younger self thought or decided, God, he had every right to be fucked up about it.

What better way to do that than to have someone else standing there belittling the whole thing? And Jason gets to yell back, validate his younger self, come to his own defense in a way where he can see himself as someone worth defending. It puts him in the headspace to look at himself and say, hey you were in so much pain, and you didn’t deserve that, and you don’t deserve to stay in pain. I want you to get better. I want good things for you.

I don’t know that Jason could say it the other way: I was in pain, and I didn’t deserve it, and I don’t deserve to stay in pain. I want to get better. I want good things for myself.

Once he brings himself to say all that, once he decides that about himself, he gets the opportunity to move past what happened. He, Jason, is really the only person that can heal the part of himself that has stayed hurt and alone and locked in a state of desperation and self-destruction. You may remember that my 2021 new year fic was on that topic. It’s a shocking amount of consistency from me, I know.

So no, I don’t think Tim caught onto the state that the younger Jason was in, at least not until Jason acknowledged it out loud.

2) Since Jason did say it out loud, though, I think it’s safe to say that Tim walked away from the experience knowing. I can confidently say that the two of them finished business with Hatter speaking the minimum amount to each other, left as quickly as possible, and did not acknowledge each other for at least two weeks, and only awkwardly after that.

I imagine that if you gave Tim awhile to review the whole experience, he might end up feeling a certain amount of shame, and I guess there’s potential in that for some kind of resolution between the two of them. Personally, I wouldn’t advise Tim to specifically bring it up again, but I think he has the opportunity to take the new information he has about Jason/Jason’s motivations and act differently in the future, maybe in a way that’s a lil more supportive.

If I were to invent a scene for the two of them to settle their differences over all this, I would probably have Tim make some kind of olive branch gesture that Jason accepts without comment. Maybe Tim very awkwardly says something to the effect of “I guess I’m wrong sometimes” when he’s technically talking about something else, and they both understand that he’s sort of apologizing for some of the things he said and the assumptions he made. Less is more here, I think.

My original intention was to publish the fic we’ve been talking about on Christmas, and then sort of follow it up on New Years with the fic I ended up actually publishing on Christmas (the mostly comedic one about going to therapy). In the original draft of the therapy piece, which assumed y’all had already read the Hatter one, Tim has looped Damian into what happened, and Damian very intentionally goads Jason into talking about (and eventually agreeing to) therapy.

I think I’m glad I didn’t end up going down that path, because I prefer them as separate, unrelated fics. But there’s your insight into my intentions, I guess.

#anon please know that there's an equal amount of lore for everything else I've ever written #and I’m simply desperate to talk about it #so thank you 😘#asks #suicidal ideation.#suicide.#suicidal thoughts.#there I think that’ll evade the weird new tag rules

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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MY THOUGHTS ON TITANS’ RED HOOD,

BEFORE WATCHING THE LAST EPISODE.

I will start by saying that I haven’t been able to watch the show, these are my thoughts after reading a very well-written and detailed review of the last episode. The review is also written by someone that enjoys the show, this is important because my thoughts don’t align with theirs.

I understand that Titans is known for being garbage, I know their writing is messed up, and I had no hope whatsoever for them to actually write a good Jason Todd/Red Hood story. I would also like to make clear that this post is in no way hate towards the actor playing Jason, this post is just my thoughts on Jason’s characterization.

What I really don’t like is these shows/movies taking the names of loved characters and making an “original character” out of them. Yes, there are different takes of the character and you can build their story differently but I do feel that what they did with Jason is beyond all that. They twisted every concept from his origin and his story, nothing really fits, but someway, somehow, they still managed to push all the wrong narratives when it comes to Robin Jason.

Two of the most horrible narratives that DC has decided to push are “Robin Jason was reckless and a troubled kid that never did what he was told” and “Jason Todd is to blame for his death”.

The show does push the one where Jason is reckless. Jason is consumed by fear, and Bruce Wayne pays attention to that but he doesn’t only do that, he also offers comfort and help, he tries to make Robin Jason go to therapy.

This is huge, they build up the perfect scenario for Jason to not become the Red Hood. But for some reason, they decided to make Jason reckless and too eager to prove that he didn’t need that kind of help. And then they didn’t help Jason’s case because they wrote their Bruce as a caring father that does not want to see his son get hurt or end up dead.

This Bruce Wayne is doing everything that comics Bruce Wayne didn’t. This Bruce cares, so once more, one would think that this Jason wouldn’t become the Red Hood. But, surprise! Jason Todd doesn’t take well the news of him not being able to be Robin anymore.

Here is the thing, if you were Bruce in this situation, would you let this Jason continue to be Robin when he is a danger to himself? I know I wouldn’t.

Here is where Titans’ terrible writing reaches its peak. They have a vulnerable and reckless Jason try to prove that he can still be Robin by working on *something* that can take his fears away. Jason Todd wants to make a drug, let that one sink in.

Jason Todd wants to make something that is basically a drug. Did Titans really erase the fact that Jason’s mother overdosed? Because that’s one of the most important things in Jason’s life and that built up his hate for drugs and what they do to people. His mother was in an abusive relationship and that led her to do drugs and later led her to her own death.

This might not sound too important to other people but to me, it’s something that has always been important to Jason’s character before and after his death.

Going back to the actual show, Jason goes to Scarecrow, willingly, and asks him to make him a drug that will make him don’t feel fear. I know that this Jason is vulnerable and that he probably thinks that therapy isn’t working for him, but why on earth would Jason think that making Scarecrow make a drug for him would be a good idea?

How does that make sense? The show is basically telling us that Jason had a support system and that he was going to therapy because Bruce wouldn’t want to lose his SON. Why does this show go far and beyond to make Jason look reckless and dumb?

This is not me comparing Comics Jason to Titans Jason anymore, this is me finding Titans’ logic unnecessarily stupid, they really went out of their way to write pure stupidity.

Why would they write Bruce as a caring father and as actively working so Jason can be in a better mental state so he won’t lose him as his son if they are also going to write Jason as an incredibly reckless man? Are we supposed to be on Bruce’s side? Because as of now, Bruce is the only one with brain cells.

There is absolutely no way to compare that to comics because in comics Bruce neglected Jason’s needs and refused to see that Jason had different morals even back then, and that neglect was key in Jason jumping onto the idea that he needed someone that he could call family and actually care for him. He wanted love and attention from a parental figure because he didn’t feel like he had one. Robin wasn’t everything that Jason was, he was also a kid with normal needs.

So, you build that completely different and actually give Jason the support that he also wanted in the show but for some reason, he is fiercely attached to Robin even though his fear comes from the fact that he almost died for being Robin. There is no logic to this Jason’s actions and that isn’t on Jason it's on the writers’ incredibly garbage writing. It is like they come up with ten different ideas and they put all of them but none of them are actually solid and well-developed concepts.

And you can’t tell me to get over it because “Titans has always had bad writing, there were two seasons of bad writing”. Listen, if you are happy to consume media that is badly written then that’s on you, Jason is one of my favorite characters, I don’t want him to be written badly just because that’s the show’s style. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with me wanting writers to actually care about the characters they are writing for, all three seasons have had different writers, is it really so far-fetched for me to want one of these people to write something that makes sense?

Jason's death was tragic in both comics and the show, and he was a victim in both of them, yes. But the show really pushes the limits of that, Jason wanted to take something to make him not fear, he looked for Scarecrow (not Dr. Jonathan Crane, Scarecrow, and he was an already established villain) to make him this drug when he couldn’t make it himself. He trusted Scarecrow (for some weird reason) and then as a test he went to fight Joker? It’s tragic because it ended with Jason dying but it's also tragic because the writing is just bad. It just is, and that is a problem for me.

From then on, we have the “big connection” to comics, the Lazarus Pit! Wow, you guys did it, yeah, everyone loves the Lazarus Pit, every time I think about Jason, I only think about that one time in which he was thrown in a Lazarus Pit to recover his mental injuries or all of his injuries after he came back from the dead.

This Jason has no training, there is no Talia, no League of Assassins, no Ducra or All-Castle, there is only Scarecrow and his new puppet, the Red Hood.

It changes everything and I don’t like it. Once again, I understand and know the concept of the multiverse, the various earths, and the Elseworlds, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like this take on Jason Todd/Red Hood along with its horrendous writing.

I don’t have to like it, just like I understand that others do like it because it is their first contact with the character or because they are fine, as fans of the character, with a new take. I am not gatekeeping Jason Todd or Red Hood; I am just saying that my being angry at this version and absolutely hating it is just as valid as liking this version of Jason.

Red Hood in Titans is just Scarecrow’s puppet, that’s how things are, and I just think that it is too big of a change from the original reasons for Jason to become Red Hood. And I will never get tired of saying this, Red Hood wasn’t only all about the Joker killing him and Batman not killing the Joker. The Red Hood was Jason’s way to make things work, to prove to Bruce that Batman wasn’t enough for Gotham. Red Hood came back to Gotham to stop bad people from introducing children to drugs and to make Gotham’s people feel safe.

He thought that Red Hood was the better version of Batman for Gotham and its people.

But I am not blind, I can see how Titans can twist it again to give us Red Hood as a protector of children and Gotham in general. I can see the “I used to do drugs and now I will fight so no other person goes through the same”, I see it and I am aware of it but it does also bring me to my other problem with Titans and DC in general: story swapping.

Story Swapping is something that DC loves to do, they thrive when they make change people’s origins for others and when they take character traits from one character to another.

And Titans’ Jason Todd is just that, he has characteristics and plot concepts from Dick Grayson and if what I just predicted happens then he will have some of Roy Harper's characteristics. And that is exactly what Lobdell did, but somehow, they managed to get different results. I cannot praise Titans for giving us a new Red Hood origin because they made his characterization with the help of other character’s origins and/or stories.

This is the first time that we see a live-action Jason Todd/Red Hood, was it really that hard to just stick to his origins as both Robin and Red Hood? There is so much to explore from Jason, there is so much between his death and him becoming Red Hood, from both before and after New 52.

Jason becoming Red Hood under the influence of Scarecrow in moths is lazy, bland and an insult to Jason’s character. They could have done things by the book and then explore things that we have never seen before in a show or movie.

Jason has had so much training outside of Gotham, why did Titans think that they could do acceptable work at bringing this amazingly complex character in a show that has nothing to do with him.

They could have had him killed in the Titans show and then wait and make a Red Hood show to actually tell a good story. What is Jason Todd doing in a show that is called Titans? Where are the Titans? They chose the most recognizable Titans’ line-up and they are not using it. They butchered Garth and Donna and for what?

DC gets away way too much with selling their stupid shows and movies by telling us that x character will appear but then when you watch the thing for that x character, they are nowhere to be seen. That’s exactly what they did with Cassandra Cain and what they are doing with Red Hood.

I don’t know how this tv show is doing, I only know that as a non-American that pays the same money for an HBO Max subscription, I don’t get to see any Titans content, not even a miserable trailer.

But I know that if non-comic readers are watching it, they will love it and if they actually were to start reading comics because of the show, then they wouldn’t find that Jason there. So, either that leads to Jason’s characterization being messed up even more within comics or it does nothing for Jason or comics.

To end this post, I just want to bring up the animated movie Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010).

That movie was widely praised and loved by critics, comic readers, and non-comic readers. It was fantastic, the story was amazing (even though it had differences with the comic, one might say that the differences improved the story), the voice acting was phenomenal, everything was done beautifully. Do you know what made it that way? The writing.

And you know who wrote the animated movie? The same person who wrote the comic the movie is based on, Judd Winick.

With that I am not saying that Titans should have had Judd write for them, what I am saying is that given the fact that they are using a pre-existing character they should chat with the Red Hood’s creator or even the writer that wrote for him for ten years after the character came back to comics.

This show obviously didn’t do that though, they preferred to write Jason Todd/Red Hood as if he were a Titans original character, but the thing is, from where I see it Titans didn’t give us an OC, they gave us an OOC.

So, to sum it all up, I hate Titans’ version of Jason Todd/Red Hood, I think that it is not only badly written but there is also no real logic to what they are trying to do so far. I am also tired of their bad and lazy writing in general. And I would have liked the Titans’ writers to actually respect the Red Hood lore because if they had I would have actually been excited about a Red Hood spin-off show.

Using the material that is available to you isn’t a crime, building from that material is the best thing that they could have done, but all they really wanted to do was use Red Hood’s name to get more money from a dying show.

It makes the show look cheap and actually not interested in giving us good stories, and no, I wasn’t expecting Captain America: The Winter Soldier levels of good writing or good changes to a very loved story/characters, I was actually expecting some Lobdell writing level and the way I see it we ended up getting something worse.

These are all my opinions. You can like, love, or dislike this version of Jason and the show as much as you want but you won’t find any form of love towards the show in this blog, at least not right now.

MY THOUGHTS ON TITANS’ RED HOOD,

AFTER WATCHING THE LAST EPISODE.

Well, I will start this part by saying: Sorry. I am sorry that I believed that Titans’ Red Hood was bad, it is actually worse than bad.

I was so wrong on many things, that review really made me think that things weren’t that bad but I still hated what I read. Now that I have watched the episode because I wanted this post to be extra honest and to stop myself from saying stupid stuff, I can also say that I hated what I watched.

This show really validates the two most horrible narratives that DC has been pushing for Jason: “he was a reckless Robin that didn’t think about his actions” and “he was to blame for his own death”

Jason Todd wasn’t a victim of Scarecrow, this Jason Todd took every single bad decision that he could, and those decisions led him to his death. No sympathy for this man.

Also, this Jason is like 19? He doesn’t look younger than that, but that’s not the point, what I am trying to point out is that this Robin is extremely underprepared, he lacks training and the mental capacity to stop acting like an edge lord every time he opens his mouth. He is annoying.

And I was wrong about Titans erasing the plotline of Jason’s mother dying of an overdose, she did die that way and this Jason spoke of her as if he hated her. What is going on? This Jason really doesn’t make me feel an ounce of sympathy for him. This attitude of “no one understands my pain” when everybody is trying to help you doesn’t make you look cool or anything of the sort, it makes you look annoying.

It is even worse because this Jason is so immature and reckless that he made his friend Molly (that is just a normal teen with no training) go after a thug with him, while he was not mentally well. He made that decision for them and put himself and her in danger. If that scene had gone any other way, then Jason could have been guilty of getting his friend injured or killed.

Jason Todd is so incredibly dumb; he is not a child but he acts like one every step of the way.

Nothing makes sense in his whole ass interaction with Bruce in front of the theatre, it’s like Jason refuses to listen to what Bruce tells him, well not that he refuses to listen it is more like a “Telefono descompuesto” I don’t know if you guys have that game but you basically have to tell something in someone’s ear and then the person repeats what they understood to the next and so on, what you said is heavily distorted by the end of the game. In this scene that is exactly what happens but it’s between two people.

When Jason accuses Bruce of not taking away Robin from Dick, Bruce says something along the lines of “I learned from my mistakes” and Jason says “so, I am a mistake now?”. Jason, use your ears, if Bruce says that he learned from his mistakes when talking about Dick, then his mistake was what he did with Dick. The writing is so bad, it's actually painful and it is even worse because the acting is bad, but I can’t blame the actors, it must really be hard to make a scene work when the writing is that bad. (Also, the unnecessary pauses, and the sounds that they play after they say something stupid, it is too funny).

Do you know what made me cringe? When they were having the chat in the theatre, in my mind all I could hear was “if you are nothing without the suit then you shouldn’t have it”, not me quoting Tony Stark in my head! I haven’t even watched that movie! But it fits perfectly for that scene.

The interaction with Scarecrow was more than dumb, if Jason was already acting like a child, now, he is basically acting like a toddler. Scarecrow saw right through him in seconds and just as fast decided that he was going to have fun with his new toy. He gave him a formula that wasn’t quite correct even though it looked like he knew exactly how to make the reverse version of his fear gas. This Jason has zero detective or survival skills but we already knew that when he made himself get captured and tortured by Deathstroke.

Anyway, all the interactions with Scarecrow were allowed to happen because this Jason can’t put two and two together. He convinces himself that everyone is out to get him, dude, Bruce is a detective and he also has eyes, Leslie didn’t tell him anything. If I were Bruce, you wouldn’t be able to be Robin anymore either.

I understand that Jason is not in a good mental place and that he wants to make his fears go away, but he had support, people around him were trying to get him help, trying to make him understand that he was hurting himself. His over-the-top anger and recklessness are unjustified when you refuse to take the help that is being offered to you.

He made terrible decisions for selfish purposes and that got him killed.

This is one of the last things I want to say, Scarecrow either didn’t need Jason at all to get out of Arkham or the writers made an oopsie because at the end of the episode he had someone helping him put Jason in the Lazarus Pit and then he was out of Arkham and he had a suit ready for Jason and everything. How did he manage all that? No idea.

The Lazarus Pit, yeah, I am sorry to be that person but the Pit can’t bring back people from the dead, it can only restore or heal physical and mental injuries (however grave they were), but Lobdell messed that one up already and Titans really didn’t have time to write a single good scene so what was I expecting?

Anyway, the last thing I wanted to say is that I know why Jason or Red Hood seems to not be affected by the drug when he sees Molly at the end of the episode, it is because the executive producer of the show is Geoff Johns! He loves making Jason fall for girls and get all mushy and dumb, do you guys remember how dumb he got when he left with Rose?

Jason being written as the kind of guy that acts like a love-sick puppy with a girl but also screams at her when he gets mad is peak Geoff Johns. So, if you were wondering where that came from, well, there it is.

Yeah, that is all I had to say, honestly if you have read this whole post then you are one strong individual, I am sorry I put you through all my thinking and rambling. You didn’t really deserve that.

I didn’t want to delete the first part of the post because I talked about so much more than the show and my thoughts before watching the episode still stand. I hope this post isn’t too confusing. As always you can think the complete opposite of me about the show or anything, I am just writing my thoughts.

Having said all that, I hope all of you, Titans’ lovers, haters, and people that simply do not care, have a wonderful week!

#jason todd #red hood #titans s3 #titans #anti titans

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the-slasher-files · 3 years

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Slashers react - Your suicidal tendencies

INCLUDES JASON, MICHAEL, BILLY and STU

Please if you need help there are options. Slowly you can make it. Even if it is one night at a time or one minute at a time, you can do it. I am living breathing proof someone can do it, I have attempted several times in my life, but I am still here and if you are reading this you are here too! I am proud of you! keep going!

JASON VOORHEES

ooooh boy this man is HURT and heartbroken

He would think it was him that caused your pain or hurt and it might take a bit to fully grasp the concept that it isn’t him

As a child he was starting to feel the same as you but Jason never got old enough to figure out what those feelings were or what they meant

Every night he will hold you tighter than the last to try and show you every thing is going to be alright and that you’re safe

Jason can’t talk so everything he gives will be physical, its the only way he knows how to make you feel better

If he is out for the night and he comes home to find you self-harming or attempting Jason would be frozen for a minute, not knowing what to do, he would scoop you up and hold you for the rest of night, rocking you back and forth, poking and prodding to see if there is anymore injuries' to your body.

Jason would clean you of any blood and bandage you up, the marks you left behind are going to be stabbing reminders of the time he wasn’t there for you

He will never ever leave you again, (at least for the next few weeks) he is going to be a little annoying now tbh but it is the only way he knows how to make sure you’re ok

Jason is going to hide absolutely anything that looks remotely dangerous, his machete, any razors, rope, ect

His best medicine he knows is hugs, kisses and walks along the shore of the lake

MICHAEL MYERS

He knows immediately if something is up, the man has devoted his life to watch you and observe you, he knows your every emotion and every tell

Michael will be closer to you, almost clingy in a way before you even have your suicidal thoughts, he is like a dog that can sense it

For a sadist slasher he is honestly really good when it comes to mental health and he somehow knows just what do for you

You are the one thing in his life that matters to him so when you feel pain he will too, he will just never show it

He knows from living in and out of hospitals his whole life that sometimes a person needs their space, alone with their thoughts for a while, but he will never leave you fully. Michael will always be watching from the shadows

On the night you thought he was killing you tried to commit but he never left, he was watching from a far, saving you from ending your life

Michael will hold you until the morning, being gentle wiping away your tears and resting his head on yours

The stoic stone faced man can sort of turn into a gentle care taker, just not for long periods

He will be easy with you for the next little while after, just being there for you, even just sitting with you or holding you as you cry and sob

Part of him wants to “give you something to really cry over” but he never acts on it

BILLY & STU

They would be lying if they said they haven’t had those thoughts too, probably when they were a bit younger

They have very different roles with you but they are both equally there for you in a heartbeat

Stu has more of a talking approach and wants to always be very gentle with you, then makes stupid jokes to distract you

Billy is the more silent watchful one, observing you, your every emotion and looking for your tell. He will not make you do anything you don’t want to, you don’t have to talk or explain he will just hold you

Here comes the praise and complements every moment of every single day

The protection around you becomes heightened, they will remove anything that might be a trigger for you, even if that means hiding your phone for a few hours

They actually might go get you some help like therapy, they’re fucked up but they don’t want you to ever be

If they catch you self harming or attempting, Stu will most likely panic and just keep talking to himself as he is “trying” to help you but Billy will make him go get some water or towels, Billy is going to be the one to sit with you and calm you down

#horror #michael myers #slashers #my writing #jason vorhees #slasher #halloween #slasher fandom #slasher fanfiction #billy and stu hcs #billy and stu #scream #jason vorhees x reader #jason vorhees imagine #michael myers imagine #michael myers x reader #billy and stu x reader #tw suicice #friday the 13th

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years

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just because you’re afraid it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Titans 3.05

once more into the cold dark void of the internet with my stream-of-consciousness take on a superhero tv show...

spoilers ahead.

1. i cannot believe that among the first things i get to hear in this episode with my own two ears is the line 'eluded our overdudes'. why must you give me such pain along with so much joy, show?

1.5. scarecrow stringing jason along on this path to red-hood-dom is not something i would’ve ever expected, but does kind of make sense.

1.55. i don’t know all the details of the original resurrection arc in the comics but i like that jason, weirdly, has a greater role to play in his own demise and rebirth? i think it makes it easier to draw a line between his past trauma, the demonstrably shitty and terrifying responsibility of being robin, the ways bruce and the titans wronged him, his responses to that, the reasons he turns to scarecrow, and his final evolution to red hood. it makes for a smoother character arc rather than a one that was interrupted for two decades before somebody went oh hey let’s resurrect that kid that the audience once voted to kill and make him an anti-hero!

1.75. what’s crane giving him? anti fear toxin? anyway, crane is a fucking creep and i’m not sure i want to see a whole lot of him on my screen.

2. oh, um, heads up: there’s a long sequence of unsteady cam + flickering lights right after the title card upto the 3:16 mark. it’s a bit headache-inducing so if you want to skip, you can go ahead and do that.

2.45. that’s... weird... why would he dream about... donna...

ok, who am i kidding. i’m going to jump right into my theory about Why Titans Makes Sense Actually because the show itself is apparently not interested in explaining itself:

a) it makes no sense for jason to be conjuring up donna--who famously did not care much for him!--in his dreams. (he wasn’t even there when she died.) or for her to be telling him don’t go or there’s still time.

b) this leads me to think that that’s actually donna, in some sort of limbo between life and death, the kind of place where jericho used to be

c) rachel has demonstrated that she has the power to link the minds of the titans across great distances--she called jason and hank/dawn for help in 2.01, she linked up everybody later in the season, projected dick’s hallucination of his father into their brains without even realising she was doing it, and in the finale, she managed to get dick into conner’s brain. she’s in themyscira now. is this how she gets donna back to life? but reaching out to her in that non-space between life and death?

d) the next obvious question is: why isn’t donna appearing in the dreams of the other titans? she probably is, but they have better reason to be dreaming about her since they were actually close to her, unlike jason.

e) but why would she warn jason in particular? does she foresee jason entering the afterlife--however briefly? does she have an idea of what jason plans to do and what he will become?

f) anyway, more trippy mindscapes and weird psychic powers, yay!

2.5. my heart clenched when bruce comforted jason post-nightmare: clearly i’ve been reading way too much batfam fic. this is a side of bruce we haven’t really been told to expect by all the characters on the show calling him a ‘psychopath’ (*cough*unreliablenarrators*cough*) and him getting jason to speak to a professional speaks volumes about the kind of self-reflection he’s done post dick’s departure, and maybe some of the regrets he has with regards to how he dealt with dick’s traumas.

i mean, just look at him when jason dismisses his concerns! BRUCE IS TRYING JASON

anyway, i have a whole lot more i want to say about this, but i’ll save it for later.

also: LESLIE THOMPKINS!!!!

3. i really like molly--and i love that she’s a friend from before jason got taken in by bruce, the implication that they meet up regularly and that she’s a grounding influence on him (tho clearly not grounding enough to not go along with his dumbass idea about confronting a child trafficker alone).

3.5. aw, jason. robin was his armour against everything in the world that would throw him down and chew him to bits, but san francisco proved that even robin wasn’t enough to protect him. it’s really interesting how ‘disillusionment with the idea of robin’ is so integral to the traumas of both dick and jason but in such different ways.

4. LESLIE!!!!!!! i even forgive her office being so goddamn blue because leslie!

4.5. it makes so much sense for titans!verse leslie to be a therapist, because this show is so inward looking anyway, and therapist sessions are a useful tool to showcase this character work in a story. besides, at least in fanfic, leslie often seems to double up as a counsellor anyway.

4.6. oh man. i’m not terribly convinced by walters’ red hood (tho i think that may be the point--argh. i’ll come back to this thought later. have to stop getting distracted!) but he plays the asshole kid that’s trying not to let any real emotion seep through really well.

“you’d like me to punch you, wouldn’t you”

5. not sure what to think of batman’s little trophy case other than the show winking unsubtly at us and going look look - catwoman! the riddler! two face! you excited yet?! it’s like the scene from the end of amazing spiderman 2 when they were trying to drum up excitement for a sinister six spinoff by having harry osborne walk by a bunch of display cases with stuff from iconic villains in them.

... but then again, bruce does like to display a lot of shit in his batcave, including his dead robin’s bloodstained costume, so.

5.5. bruce is so soft with jason it’s killing me. beyond just trying to learn from his mistakes with dick, it speaks to his own genuine desire to balance his dedication to gotham with doing the best by his sons, although he’s often not successful with that.

i love that titans is really playing the long game with bruce wayne, with each season and character-perspective sliding in fresh pieces of a bigger puzzle. titans’ bruce has always been a phantom of other peoples’ making, but now we’re getting the idea that he’s a whole lot more complicated than other people make it seem.

5.75. it really recontextualises some of his actions from previous seasons: the fact that he locked dick out of his security systems in 1.06 is likely his way of respecting dick’s independence and his desire not to be associated with batman/gotham anymore. jason knowing about bruce’s tracker while dick doesn’t is probably bruce trying to be more honest and upfront with his charges. bruce sending jason packing off to sanfran to spend time with the titans is probably not him passing on a big responsibility to dick (as i first uncharitably thought) but him trying to get jason out of the toxic influence of gotham for a while and a sign of his trust in dick as a leader and a mentor,

5.8. i mean, bruce is a prick, but he’s also human.

6. i think leslie is doing some good work with jason here, though she may have overstepped the line with her line about robin as a construct being projected by a man with BPD. her speculations about bruce’s diagnosis have no place in her session with jason, and if bruce confides in her, an egregious violation of patient-therapist confidentiality.

(about the diagnosis itself... i don’t know. i can’t really confirm or refute this without a whole lot more information, and i’m not sure if the writer of this episode means BPD in the same way an actual professional might.)

6.5. i think a huge thing that gets missed out in a lot of recent comics as well as movies/shows is that bruce didn’t create the robin persona out of whole cloth. dick did. he’s the starting point of that legacy and to call it entirely bruce’s creation is blatant erasure of that. in fact, i’m surprised that dick doesn’t feature more in the conversations they’re having about the pressures of being robin. after all, the guy had been robin--bruce’s partner--for such a long time before jason.

6.8. (and here’s the primal part of me that resonates the deepest with dick grayson--the Eldest Daughter part--that’s sort of resentful: that jason gets the therapy and softness and the learning from mistakes when it took years and years for bruce to reach out in any meaningful way to dick.)

7. oooh that was a great scene!

it’s fun to do these stream-of-consciousness live reactions, because the moment you step down from your soapbox, the episode goes right into tackling what you were just complaining about. bruce means well, he’s learning, but he goes about exactly the wrong way to help jason: taking away robin now can’t be read by jason as anything but a devastating judgment call from bruce. and iain glen really sells the moment that bruce realises this--too late--and his helplessness in trying to get jason to see that it isn’t jason’s fault that he’s trying to do this. he loves jason enough that jason is enough.

7.5. aaaah so jason brings up the elephant in the room at last. dick got everything makes sense from his perspective, where getting to put on a costume and fight crime means approval, means being something stronger and better than you are. dick got to be robin, then nightwing, and a leader of a whole team of other costume-clad heroes.

8. ... how did jason just walk into arkham????? this is ridiculous.

8.3. i mean, clearly jason’s not thinking straight, but betraying batman like this puts his possibilities of being robin again even further away.

8.5. watching that chemistry experiment montage was strangely funny. this guy is looking for an antidote to fear? well, constantly mixing up and inhaling gases concocted by a mad-scientist supervillain is something only the very fearless--reckless to the point of foolishness!--would do. what’s to say crane’s not given you a formula for a drug that will keep you tethered to his every will and whim? hmmmm?

8.7. so he sought out the joker to... test the formula???

9. wow the “loud and clear... boss” hits different after a whole episode of them referring to each other as father and son.

9.3. waitwaitwait HOLD UP. wait a DANG MINUTE. you’re telling me that scarecrow had enough resources that he could not only have folks on the outside steal jason away and dunk him in a lazarus pit (i TOLD you that this show would bring up and dismiss ra’s al ghul in a ten second aside! I TOLD YOU) but also have his own little chemistry lab in the basement, AND have enough resources for jason to build his red hood persona???????? all of this in barely twenty four hours?

well there goes my ‘jason orchestrated his death’ theory. it was nice while it lasted. *cups hands to the sky* fly away, my baby.

9.6. a part of me is gleeful at the rushed nature of such an iconic transformation though, especially when compared to all the character work that went before it. we’re so used to getting the opposite that it’s fucking delightful to have a show that’s more interested in exploring its characters’ minds rather than battle scenes or recreating transformations from the comics. that’s taken such bold and exciting steps to fully convey all the nuances of its most recognisable character, bruce wayne, from casting an older actor to play him to unflinchingly showing just how damaging the vigilante lifestyle has been to him and the people he loves. BRILLIANT

*sporfle*

10. again, heads up: a whole lot of flashing lights between 40:28 and 42:00.

10.3. i guess it’s the super-compressed timeline that’s really throwing me off. where did he have the time to get/develop the mind control thing from? or is it something that he got from the cabal of villains that he intimidated at the beginning of 3.02? very messy.

10.5. i love molly, i hope she shows up again this season.

11. aaaand that’s it! that was a solid episode as flashback episodes go, but now i can’t wait to return to the present.

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #jason todd #bruce wayne #leslie thompkins #a tragic jalebi #robin #red hood

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moccawithsugar · 3 years

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Few random notes about The Tower of Nero

(Spoilers ahead)

Nico. My poor boy Nico. Getting therapy from Mr. D was something I did not expect, but I’m glad he’s doing it. My baby deserves happiness.

The brotherly relationship between Dionysus and Apollo was something I did not expect either. I think I can finally understand better the god of wine and I’m glad for that.

Rachel and her brush will always be iconic.

Will is adorable. And the way he shines and then Apollo’s like “I’m so proud” and Will is there too flushed like “it’s not that I graduated med school with honors” and Apollo being a good dad for him like “I’ll be proud when you do that too” and I’m here like aawwwwww. But really, the fact that Apollo is proud that his son can shine is everything.

Will and Nico. They are so different and get along so good like wow. It’s amazing how they’re so perfect for each other. They know each other so much and they love each other so much and I love them so much.

There were two battle at camp Jupiter? Well, Percy and Annabeth are gonna stay in NYC. The battle is in NYC this time? Then Percy and Annabeth are going to San Francisco 😅 My babies deserve a rest.

Stelle is going to rule the world some day.

The cows... That was... so weird...

Also they mentioned Venezuela and I’m so happy for it.

Nico can kill just by touching people... WOW.

Meg is a little queen.

Her encounter with Nero was so heartbreaking but she was so brave...

Poor Lu.

“Nobody hits my boyfriend and nobody kills my dad”. Again: I love you, Will.

Apollo being sweet with his children was adorable. The compliment to Kayla and the cute little talk with Austin made me cry.

Also the other three new kids in the Apollo cabin meeting their dad. And Austin introducing them to Apollo like “they are the children you sired years ago, you probably don’t remember but now you do, you’re welcome” 😅 Also how do they know they’re Apollo’s children? He couldn’t have claimed them. Another god did for him? They’re just too good with arrows or medicine and make it too easy to deduce?

The other gods can watch him in a proyector in the hearth’s fire... Like, since when have them been watching him and laughing and betting against him? Since his trials started? That is so cruel, they’ve known Apollo for thousands of years. Hermes disappointed me so much, I really liked him. I expected no less from Ares tho. Also Poseidon was just there bored to the core and yawning like... You had that punishment before once too! And with Apollo! You know how it feels, you should care. I want to think maybe he was just too tired (if gods can get tired) because of the rebuilding of his palace but honestly what are the odds? The decline in Poseidon’s character is very sad.

Apollo walking to Python almost unarmed and alone was so brave. He couldn’t have gone like that in the first book and I’m so proud of him, he has grown so much.

“I missed the shot. Don’t even pretend to be surprised” I was not, Lester. At least you tried.

RIP THE ARROW OF DODONA! IT WAS A FAITHFUL PROJECTILE TO THE END! APOLLO MUST FALL BUT HE WILL RISE AGAIN!!!! HAIL HIS LAST PROPHECY!

Ehh did I mention Artemis? No? Well... ARTEMIS ARTEMIS ARTEMIS ARTEMIS ARTEMIS!!! The best goddess!! She was so worried 🥺 begging Zeus to forgive Apollo 😭 and screaming to Aphrodite... She’s so awesome I just can’t.

The description of how Apollo and Python fall to chaos was amazing. I never thought Rick would touch the subject of Chaos but it was great. The perfect end for Python and (of course) the perfect timing for the goddess of Stix to appear. At least she saw that Apollo has really learned the lesson. He must be true to all his promises from now on, specially the most important ones. He will remember. And the fact that Zeus can’t see to the Chaos? Sweet.

The way Apollo wept in his sister’s shoulder broke me. Poor guy, he has been through too much. And Artemis was there just so happy that he’s back and well and alive :’) she’s the best. “Not a cuddler, my sister. But she allowed me to hold her hands” aaawwwwww. Also the way she dressed him up into a dress was the most sibling-relationship-thing I’ve ever seen in a god/goddess 😅

“The gods awaited” is such a good phrase. Almost as good as “Release the Kraken!”.

I can’t stop thinking about the image of the tiny gods with Mickey Mouse voice “Welcome to Olympus!” 😂😂😂

“Wisdom, comes in handy” omg Athena.

If I thought before that Zeus was bad well now he seems even worse.

Why was Hera crying over Jason? Was she really grieving? Why? Doesn’t she hate every one of Zeus’s children? What did I miss?

The fact that Zeus doesn’t care about his son’s death 😒

Apollo visiting every single one of his demigods friends :’)

Hazel and Frank are finally free of their curses and living life like never before :’) I’m so happy for them.

Reyna seems so happy now with her bff Thalia hunting that damn fox. Also “no puedes decirle mamacita a una mujer, ¿entendiste?” was perfect 😅 I need more of Reyna and Leo speaking in Spanish.

Calypso enjoying school? Adorable :3

How doesn’t Apollo know if Georgie is his daughter or not? He’s a god now, he should now. He knew Thalia’s age just by looking at her, just saying.

I need lots of stories about the Hunters of Artemis, specially about what happened at the end with that fox.

The fact that Apollo knew Artemis was the only one there actually happy to have him back... And the wink at the end... I’m just obsessed with these twins ok?

Apollo bringing blue cookies to Percy was adorable. And Percy doesn’t know what to study, he just knows it has to be something with the ocean. I’m glad to see he doesn’t think about his phobia anymore. And Apollo’s concern about if Percy and Annabeth were going to share a bedroom or no 😅 hilarious. But that’s none of your business, Apollo. Annabeth told you herself.

Piper is bi! 😱 She’s finally happy (even missing Jason tho, don’t misunderstand me) with her partner and Apollo is so happy for her and she’s so happy for him and wow :’) too much cuteness.

The part with Meg was the most emotional. He even appeared a unicorn for her. “Will you come back?” “Always. The sun always comes back” and that’s the last sentence he says and it’s so beautiful 😭

The last paragraph killed me. It does every time I re-read it. Apollo I want you to know that I’m smiling on you too. Specially on sunny days. I’m very proud of you. We’re friends now indeed, and I’m glad for it.

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ragingbookdragon · 3 years

Text

An Unexpected Friendship, But A Friendship Nonetheless

A Jason Todd and Harley Quinn One-Shot (Non-Reader Insert)

Word Count: 2K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst

Author's Note: So I wrote this for @aurailia or @nitebirdie because she drew that wonderful Jason picture for me which you can find right here! I hope you like this, Jess! Love you! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Jason expected a lot of things.

1. Getting yelled at by Bruce for shooting serial murderers and rapists? Check.

2. Getting yelled at by Damian for calling him short? Check.

3. Getting yelled at by Tim for spray painting a billboard of him with penises? Check.

4. Getting yelled at by Dick for picking on his younger brothers? Check.

So really, it was getting yelled at by his family that he expected the most, but all things considered about his life, his expectations weren’t pretty high. He knew he was going to get hurt on patrol, knew was going to spend the rest of his life dealing with the chronic pain and learning how to manage it.

But the one thing Jason never expected, was to end up being friends with Harley Quinn.

And honest to God, the whole friendship only started because the psychiatrist they both went to accidentally scheduled them at the same time. A screw up. A monumental screw up. But it did lead to a revolutionary session where Jason and Harley spent most of their time badgering each other about their habits while the woman merely watched on and scribbled furiously at her notepad.

When they both left, they were in such a heated argument about which way would be better to deal with the Joker. Jason suggested a bullet in the head and Harley suggested cutting off his arms and legs. An excellent suggestion, he had to admit, but nothing would satisfy him more than killing the pasty bastard, and she knew that too.

Surprisingly, when Harley got to her bus stop, she grabbed the front collar of his shirt to keep him in place while she typed her number in his phone. Of course, Jason wasn’t sure what to be more concerned about: the fact that she’d lifted his phone without him knowing, or that she was putting her number in it and telling him to call her when he needed someone to talk to.

He’d responded that he didn’t need another shrink in his head.

She’d given him a pitied look and said it wasn’t for that, but for a friend.

And Jason wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but three weeks after, he was dialing her number at two A.M. just to hear someone’s voice over the deafening silence in his apartment.

They talked for hours about anything and everything. Cars, weapons, games, favorite childhood memories, everything they could think of. And by the time they’d finally talked until their tongues were numb, the sun had started peeking above the buildings in the distance.

He apologized for keeping her all night.

Harley laughed and asked to hang out on patrol come Friday night then hung up.

Jason hadn’t even told her who he was, but low and behold she was doing cartwheels on the roof of the building he was looking out on that night. And it should’ve annoyed him but hell, he’d grown up with Dick—gymnastics was something he was used to being around.

Halfway through their stakeout, she was perched on the side of the ledge, staring at the side of his head, and it shouldn’t’ve unnerved him like it did, but there was something about her bright blue eyes drilling into his brain that made his skin crawl—and not in the good way.

Will you stop boring holes in me, Quinn? He’d grunted. Pay attention.

Why? She’d retorted. Aren’t you tired of doing this? Don’t you wanna go do something fun?

Stopping drug dealers is good for Gotham.

I’m not talking about good for Gotham, Jason. I’m talking about for you.

Harley hauled him up and tugged him along, him barely resisting because good God she was relentless and headstrong when she put her mind to something. So, he let her. And she dragged him to the Bat-Burger down the block and shoved a roll of money towards the cashier, ordering one of everything on the menu.

And Jason found it really odd when he was balancing two trays in his hands while Harley carried the milkshakes over to the booth in the corner where they huddled in and started eating.

She held up a packet in between her fingers. Want some Jokerized seasoning?

He blinked at her and gently took it, sprinkling the red, white, and green flakes over his fries. And he wasn’t offended when she reached over and took one, popping it in her mouth.

It’s terrible to say it, but God I love this shit. She laughed and Jason’s jaw dropped.

I know! He agreed with a grin. I can’t help it! It’s so good!

Her eyes had narrowed at that. You should smile more, Jason. You look normal when you do.

Normal? He repeated.

You look happy. And that’s what you should strive for. She finalized and took the Robin Nuggets from his tray, grinning when he let out a noise of complaint.

When they could finally move after consuming so much food, she tugged him along to the department store that had closed hours before and while Jason wasn’t one to ever care about breaking and entering, he did have a problem with property that wasn’t a center for criminal activity.

Don’t be a baby. She griped and slipped in though one of the vents and Jason merely stared at the opening before he heard her yell to him. Get a move on! We have stuff to do!

Begrudgingly, he squeezed himself into the way too small vent and shimmied after her.

And Harley Quinn must’ve been planning this for a while because when his feet finally hit the floor, he watched as she started disabling security cameras and alarms in the entire building before spinning around and grinning at him.

Mall’s ours. Let’s get it. And she was off.

Bruce was not going to be happy about this but watching her swing that electrified bat at the glass windows, watching them shatter into millions of shards stirred up something devious in him and Harley was cackling when he broke a window with an armored elbow and yanked out the mannequin, tugging the black leather jacket off before shrugging it on.

He posed with his shoulders squared and strong and she clapped her hands. Looks good! Wanna go hit one of the jewelry stores and find some silver earrings to go with it?

Jason nodded and somehow Harley ended up piggybacking on him, giggling profusely when he started belting out Queen at the top of his lungs; she even joined when they got to the operatics.

And somehow, he let her convince him to go and help her raid the major makeup store in the mall. Harley managed to fill three backpacks full of lipsticks, foundations, eye-shadows, and a whole lotta other shit that Jason had no idea what they were for.

How much money do you think all that is? He inquired and she shrugged.

Probably a grand? Maybe two if I’m being honest. This place is a money-sucking-makeup-hog and I’ll be damned if I’m paying a hundred bucks for one set of lipstick and eyeliner.

She turned to him. Anywhere you wanna go? There’s a map out there if you wanna go look.

Jason nodded and walked out of the store while she was busy filling whatever belt pocket wasn’t empty.

After a few minutes, he heard, Found anywhere?

He pointed silently at one of the stores on the brightened map and she squinted, looking it over.

You wanna go there?

Wouldn’t’ve suggested it if I didn’t.

She shrugged and piggybacked him again. Lead the way, Jason.

He hated that the elevators had been out, and while he hadn’t broken a sweat carrying Harley up three flights of immovable stairs, his knees and his back were killing him when they finally got to the store.

He started wandering inside but stopped when she tossed him a duffel bag.

Fill it up with everything you want.

Jason tried to smile but could only manage a grimace as he stepped in and started going up and down the aisles. He wasn’t too picky with his choosing. Books that looked like they’d help manage his pain he shoved in the duffel bag. An electric pulsing gel pad went in too followed by a vibrating roller he could stretch his muscles on.

He was flipping through a book geared towards mindful chronic pain management when he felt her slide next to him.

Finding everything alright?

Mostly…this one is all about conditioning the mind to work with the pain.

Sounds useful. Meditation and mindfulness have been known to work. It’s really all about placebo-ing your mind into it. She looked at him. Jason, do you ever think about going to a physical therapist?

He scoffed. I already go see a shrink. Why would I go see another doctor?

Because your mind is one thing, and your body is another. Her hand was cool when she placed it on his arm. Jason, if you’re in pain, there are people who can help you.

He really wanted to be snarky but all he could do was glare at her. And what about you? Do you go see a doctor for all the things he did to you too?

Harley gazed at him for a long time before answering him firmly. I will if you do. Or… she started, then trailed off and picked up a few books on physical therapy. You can come to the apartment that Ivy and I live in and we can do it together.

And Jason blinked in shock because he’d never met a person who would agree to do something for themselves if he did something for himself, an agreement for dual help.

You’d really do that for me? For you too?

Harley smiled, big and pearly white, red lipstick a bit smeared in the corner from their meal earlier.

We’re both screwed up cause of what he did, Jason. But here’s where we’re different from everyone else.She linked her arm with his, leaned close and murmured. We’re not going to stew in it while healing is in our futures.

You know we’ll never be one hundred percent fixed, right?

It’s not about fixing, Jason. It’s about healing. Healing doesn’t mean you’re fixed. Memories, pain, it’ll always be there and no amount of management for pain or therapy is going to fix that.

She stared up at him. But it will remind you that you’re still you. Even if there’s a few broken pieces here and there. And no one can take that from you. Not even him.

Jason’s lungs were too tight to form words and his eyes stung horribly but he managed to swallow the lump enough to choke out his reply. You’re alright, Harley.

Smiling, she pressed her cheek into his bicep. Call me Harleen, Jason.

Not Harley?

No, not Harley. I only let the ones I care about call me Harleen.

Does this mean we’re friends then?

Oh, this absolutely means we’re friends now. Best friends, in fact. She tugged at his arm. And I think there’s a Wayne Enterprises outlet somewhere in here and I think we should leave Brucie boy a message.

Jason laughed and wiped his eyes, hurrying after her. Can we spray paint dicks everywhere?

Only if I can spray paint boobs.

You’ve got yourself a deal, Harleen.

Jason expected a lot in his life. To be yelled at by his family for being a pain-in-the-ass son and brother, to be injured on the job, to see a therapist every Tuesday and Thursday, to call his family every night to tell them he loved them.

But the one thing he never expected, was to find one of the greatest friends he’d ever had in a woman he had once been on opposite sides with.

He also didn’t expect Batman to come through the window of the outlet in the middle of their spray painting but that’s another story for another time.

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hermannsthumb · 3 years

Note

Lo and behold, HERMANN is the one with a long list of hunky ex-boyfriends (and it drives Newt a little nuts)

a req sent in by @k-sci-janitor and filled TIMELY ENOUGH on their BIRTHDAYYYYY 🎉🎉🎉🎉 s/out to them for discussing this fic concept w me months ago and also today 👀

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It’s a relief to find out Hermann is gay. It’s not even because of Newt’s weird, repressed feelings for the guy—though he admits it’s equally a relief to know that he’s not barking up the wrong tree entirely. The thing is that Newt’s really not sure what he would do if Hermann wasn’t. Hermann has the distinct honor (displeasure?) of being Newt’s only friend in the Shatterdome, after all; this means aside from usual friendship duties (sitting with Newt at lunch, listening to him complain about his day, allowing himself to be dragged along to bars and movie theaters when they finally have a second to breathe), he’s also the person Newt goes to with tales of his romantic conquests (not that he has any), requests for dating advice (not that Hermann has any), and reassurances that whoever Newt has his eyes on that week is hot enough for him (could they ever be?). It’s just, like, easier to do that kinda shit with someone who would also be (hypothetically) eyeing up and dating dudes, if Hermann ever managed to take the stick out his ass and relax long enough to do stuff like that.

Hell, Newt would be first in line if he ever did. As it is, he just has to settle on knocking knees with Hermann under the mess tables and—for lack of a better phrase—checking the latest batch of ranger hopefuls out. Newt doesn’t normally go for the tall, built, and athletic type, but Shatterdome transfers are usually the only way he can score a date, because all the seasoned personnel know to avoid the weirdo biologist in the basement by this point. There’s a war on; desperate times call for desperate measures. Newt hopes at least a handful of them are desperate.

“He’s kinda hot, don’t you think?” Newt says under his breath to Hermann. He jerks his thumb over his shoulder at one of the new ranger trainees in line for soup behind them. He has dark hair and a nice smile, and—more importantly—Newt’s sure he’s been making eyes at their table for the better part of five minutes. He’s one of the latest batch that has only just arrived two weeks prior, and the smallest batch by far. Not many people are enlisting in the PPDC these days. Bad for the state of the world and Newt’s libido.

“Hm?” Hermann says.

“The guy behind us,” Newt says. “No, don’t be obvious about it—”

But Hermann turns, conspicuously, so (deciding it can’t get any more awkward than it already is) Newt sighs and turns with him. The dark-haired ranger notices: his smile hitches up an extra centimeter, and he winks.

At once Newt feels his ego swell. He winks back. “Still got it, dude,” he crows to Hermann, and is just rising from his chair to swoop into action when he realizes something; the ranger was not making eye contact with Newt. He was—and is—making eye contact with Hermann.

Hermann scoffs. “Oh, please,” he mutters to Newt. “If he thinks that’ll get him invited over again—”

But the ranger is abandoning his spot in line and jogging towards them, smoothing down his hair as he goes. He’s brimming with a palpable mixture of excitement and anxiety. “Hey, Dr. Gottlieb,” he says. “So, uh, last week was pretty fun?” It’s an invitation for approval, one which Hermann ignores in favor of jerking his shoulders noncommittally. The ranger presses on anyway. “It’s cool to see you. Haha. I, uh, just wanted to make sure you have my email, in case you want to get together again.”

“I have it,” Hermann says.

An awkward tension settles between them. Newt clears his throat in hopes of diffusing it, and the ranger’s eyes dart over to him. “I’m Newt,” Newt says. “Hermann and I work together.”

“Cool,” the ranger says. Disinterested. “Anyway, Dr. Gottlieb, I’m free whenever, so?”

“Yes, I’ll certainly email you,” Hermann says. He picks up his dinner roll and begins to spread butter over it, not bothering to look up when he adds “Lovely to see you again.”

The guy nods, and hurries back over to his friends, who begin debating something with him in hushed voices. Twice the group glances back at Hermann. Hermann’s—uh—friend seems to be blushing. Hermann begins to butter the other half of his dinner roll. “What the hell was that about?” Newt says.

Hermann sets down his roll and furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“That,” Newt says. “Who was that guy?”

“Oh,” Hermann says. “Him.” He rolls his eyes, and to Newt’s alarm goes pink in the cheeks. “We had a, ah, a date, I suppose you could call it, last week. He turned out to be a bit rude, actually, not the very, er, courteous sort. Attentive. Or at least not as courteous as I like. You know.”

“I don’t,” Newt says.

“You know,” Hermann repeats, with more force on the know. His pink blush spreads down his neck. “In the—coupling—sense.”

“You hooked up with him?” Newt says, too loud. A few heads swivel in their direction, including Hermann’s quote-unquote date and his friends; Hermann whacks Newt in the shin with his cane, clearly mortified.

“Keep your voice down! I don’t want the whole bloody Shatterdome to know, do I?” Hermann hisses. “Yes, I had sex with him. I do occasionally take time to enjoy myself.”

Newt stares at Hermann in amazement. Hermann hooks up? Hermann hooks up with hunky guys? Hermann hooks up with hunky guys and then ghosts them? “I didn’t know,” Newt says. “That you…did that.” Months and months of talking about his shitty love life to Hermann and Hermann has never once bothered to volunteer information of his own. Newt always just assumed Hermann had put his emotional (and physical) needs on hold for the sake of the war. Apparently not.

“You never asked,” Hermann says. “Is it important?”

Yes, it is. Newt shakes his head. The rest of their dinner is quiet and without any further interruptions. It’s also without their usual bickering, though, which makes it feel oddly lonely, and when Newt gets back to his bunk that night, he can’t help but wonder what else he hasn’t discovered about Hermann yet. Or, really—what about Hermann’s love life he hasn’t discovered yet.

A bouquet of flowers arrives for Hermann at the lab a week later. Newt is the one to take the delivery, Hermann being too absorbed in his calculations and boring graphs, and also because Newt is harboring a secret hope they’re for himself from a secret admirer. No such luck. To Dr. Gottlieb, the heart-shaped label proclaims in pink cursive, and a few sentences of the sappiest attempt at poetry Newt’s ever seen follows. Love, Pedro. Newt smirks through a suffocating wave of jealousy, whether to be the one giving or getting the flowers he’s not sure. “Hey, Hermann,” he calls across the lab. “Your boyfriend getting persistent. Want me to stick these in water for you?”

Hermann grumbles something, then says “Boyfriend?”

“From the mess the other night,” Newt says. “The uncourteous one.” Newt double-checks the note. “Pedro. His heart is yearning for you, Hermann. Listen to this—”

But Hermann scoffs loudly before Newt can even start on the poem. “Don’t be daft,” he says. “That wasn’t Pedro. That was Jason.” He scribbles over something on his chalkboard and starts again on the line below it. “And Pedro is hardly my boyfriend—it was only dinner.”

“Dinner?” Newt squeaks.

“And drinks,” Hermann says.

“You’re seeing another guy?” Newt says.

Hermann finally turns around. “Does it matter if I am?” he says.

“Yes,” Newt says. “No? I don’t know?”

“I’m a grown man, Newton,” Hermann says. “I date. You ought to try it yourself—it does wonders for the nerves.” When Newt is clearly still unsatisfied, Hermann sighs. “I met Pedro on an errand to LOCCENT last month, and I found him charming. You’d recognize him—you actually, er, caught us in a bit of a compromising position the other night. Remember?”

Newt frowns. He hasn’t caught Hermann with anyway in any compromising situations recently—the only thing he can think of that could be considered remotely embarrassing is when he stepped out into the hallway the same time Hermann’s physical therapist did, and they ended up bumping into each other. But that was—oh, God, Newt’s an idiot. “That was him?” Newt says. He just assumed anyone stopping by Hermann’s room after work hours would be there for physical therapy, okay? And there had been a lot of…noise. Well, he’s not going to think about that now. “But he was so hot! Do you only date, like, hunks or something?”

“Really, Newton,” Hermann says. “You’re making yourself upset over nothing.” The corner of his mouth twitches up. “Though one of my old ex-boyfriends did become an underwear model…”

“Dude,” Newt says, and before he can help himself, blurts out “Shit, maybe I should start going to the gym.”

Hermann gives him a strange, searching look, and Newt immediately clamps his mouth shut in horror. He’s really gotta start working on his brain-to-mouth filter. Or at least work on not sticking his fucking foot in it every five minutes. “As I said,” Hermann says, cryptically, and turns away (apparently satisfied with whatever he saw in Newt), “you’re making yourself upset over nothing. I hardly find the need to limit myself to ‘hunks’.”

“Uh,” Newt says. “Right.”

Whatever that means.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

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moongoddesskiana · 3 years

Text

I'm just thinking about AU where you keep elements from different canons for maximum angst as well as maximum 'you done fucked up my fave' because the writers really don't understand my fave's origin story

So Jason recently left the Titans (have I ever watched more than the first 3 eps no but I've seen enough clips and fanvids) and is back to working with Bruce. They are working on a case where the criminal has diplomatic immunity, Jason goes to confront the dude who proceeds to fall off the balcony (also for kicks the dude said that no one was going to believe that Jason had nothing to do with it when Jason tried to save him and he shoved Jason off) and dies.

After this Jason is forced to go to therapy where Leslie (whom he already knows and trusts) helps him a bit though he is still very much struggling. Jason then over hears Bruce say that Jason is being too rough and is going to be taken off active duty, Jason then runs out of the manor and into Crime Alley. Bruce tracks him down and they have a conversation like the one in Titans and Jason asks Bruce not to give up on him and that he had nothing to do with the dude's death.

Not sure if I'm gonna have Bruce believe him or not, but Bruce thinks this is for the best and doesn't realize how much this fucks up Jason and worsens his feelings of being rejected. As Jason leaves the alley but is still in the neighborhood an old neighbor flags him down saying they have some of his family's old things. Jason sneaks back into his room and goes over everything in the box hoping to find some of his mom's old things, what Jason actually finds is his birth certificate. The mother's name starting with an S but otherwise unreadable. Jason doesn't feel like he has anyone to go to and tries to track down his bio mom.

Cross referencing Willis addressbook he finds 3 possibilities, I'm gonna be lazy and say that Sheila was in town for like enough time for Jason to find her in Gotham. Meanwhile Joker broke out of Arkham and Batman's on the case and thinks that Sheila's job's local warehouse known to not usually be in use is Joker's next move. Sheila tells Jason she has to go to a meeting but to meet up later when Bruce runs into Jason.

Bruce asks Jason where he's been and what is he doing on a Joker case (it's been like a week since Jason left the manor only leaving a note saying that basically reads I know when I'm not wanted don't do a obligatory search.). Jason for a second thought Bruce had been looking for him and that he actually cared until he asked what Jason was doing on a case, Jason's sense of rejection escalates.

Bruce says that Sheila workplace might be in trouble but that he was also checking out another lead. Jason tracks down Sheila to warn her that the Joker might be up to something using her work's warehouse, she's like sure kid uh huh until he shows he the Robin suit. Then Sheila says to help her search the warehouse before her meeting which was to happen at the warehouse so that they would know if anything bad was inside.

Jason says that he should call in Batman just in case when they round a corner in the warehouse and the Joker is there. Jason (in Robin suit) turns to Shelia to yell at her to run when she pulls out a gun and points it at Jason telling him "sorry kid looks like you trusted the wrong person this time."

Jason is then tied up and beaten with a crowbar, whilst Sheila sits back and smokes on a nearby crate. Jason goes unconscious and Sheila is tied to the warehouse while the Joker says there can be no witnesses. Jason tries to get them both out of there while he struggles to move, they make it to the door when he hears a timer seconds away from zero while Sheila tries to open the door. Jason covers her body with his own while resigning himself to death. The warehouse explodes.

First responders are already on the scene when Bruce gets there. Sheila is alive long enough to tell Batman that Jason was a good kid, a better kid than one she thought she would make. The first responders found Jason before Bruce did, Robin was pronounced dead on arrival.

Everything is happening in between season 2 and 3 btw, well at least until Red Hood arrives.

Dick hears about the explosion over the news and rushes to Gotham, team in hand. They miss the funeral. Dick finds out that Jason had been missing for a week before that and is pissed Bruce didn't tell him. A month later Tim forces his way into Robin and gets assistance from the Titans who welcome him with open arms.

3 months after his death Jason crawls out of his grave, Scarecrow and the League of Assassins are working together (don't ask why idk either) and Jason stumbles across a meeting. Someone notices Jason isn't responding properly and they began experimenting on him eventually realizing that one of Scarecrow's toxins makes him less fearful and respond to orders more. Talia grows to give a shit and puts him in a Lazarus Pit before she is sent away but still partly in charge. Ra's says to drug him before he wakes up and to make Jason reliant on the drugs and on the League of Assassins.

Jason is trained up for a year before they put him on the scene as a figurehead but not really in charge of anything Red Hood. Jason tries to keep civilian casualties as low as he can, tries to keep things centered on ending Gotham's crime and criminals. He makes his number one rule no drugs to kids, no harm to children, no exceptions.

Two lackeys who drugged Robin were made as examples. Jason himself was still force fed Scarecrow's toxin every day.

The code name Red Hood was one of the few things that he had been given control over a nice little Fuck you to the Joker (still alive and kicking) which he had a do not engage order for so he couldn't kill the guy himself (not that he thought he would be able to even with the toxin). Jason tries to use it as a force of change, a force of good for Gotham. Sometimes when the drugs were wearing off he wondered how much harm he was doing compared to good, and how easily he killed criminals.

The league of assassin's pulls out of Gotham for reasons Jason doesn't know about, Jason tries to get clean while an imposter with meta abilities impersonated Red Hood in order to get to Hank and does Gotham harm. The titans have been in town for most of the time btw. The meta, a telepathic shapeshifter, bumped into Jason read his mind and figured Jason Todd would be a good cover for them while they did this and they could implant memories into Jason later and no evidence would lead back to them especially because of Jason laying low and trying to detox alone.

So yeah Jason still murders people but the stuff in the show making someone snap their neck, civilian casualties that shouldn't have happened and killing Hank, that was a meta in this because I can't see even a very fucked up Jason doing those things.

Everyday the meta tracks Jason down reads his mind and implants new memories. Jason tries to get help but that keeps getting stopped or people refuse to help him for the things they think he did.

The meta is taken into custody when someone realizes that that isn't Jason because either he called one of them or one of them saw him one the street collapsing. This leads to so much confusion epically since Jason has two sets of memories the stuff he did do (duffle bag of heads) and things he didn't do (kill Hank). In the process of sorting his memories the Titans realize how much they fucked up with Jason especially when they hear him say 'Arkham is to good for me, I need to be put down, I'm poison.' After hearing him whimper in his sleep begging Bruce not to put him in Arkham, to not leave him with the Joker.

Jason and Tim mostly get along and become siblings, but Gar is the only Titan who didn't really hurt my fave from what I know. The rest didn't really treat Jason as one of them and didn't try to understand him or empathize. I heard that Kori was also okay with him but then I saw a clip from 3x08 and I was like :/

Don't have anything else currently for this idea

#batman #robin #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #dc titans #titans live action #l rambles #l rants #l ramble #l rant

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catboyrichardkarinsky · 2 years

Text

Okayokayokay I finished the thing finally

Falsettos is a 1992 Broadway musical written and composed by William Finn and directed by James Lapine. It consists of Finn's two previous one-act musicals: March of the falsettos and Falsettoland, both of which are parts of The Marvin trilogy. The first installment of the trilogy titled In trousers, was not featured in Falsettos. In 2016 Finn and Lapine revisited the material for a limited run Broadway revival.

The musicals first act is set in 1979, New York and plot centers around a man named Marvin, who leaves his wife (Trina) and child (Jason) for his lover (Whizzer). This obviously starts some drama among them, and it doesn't help that Marvin is unwilling to let his ex-wife be happy without him. He in fact states that [he] want[s] it all. Meanwhile his psychiatrist, Mendel, catches feelings for Trina, and doesn’t really try to hide this fact. This makes Mendel extremely biased and probably unqualified to give Marvin the therapy he most definitely needs. He lashes out on Trina and Whizzer a lot. Whizzer doesn’t make things much better either though, as he admits he actually enjoys fighting with Marvin. In addition, he also refuses to stay monogamous, sleeping around with other men, much to Marvin’s annoyance. Jason is caught up in the middle of all this drama, and ends up being although smart, but very antisocial for a 10-year-old. After his parents’ failed attempts in convincing him to see the psychiatrist, Whizzer turns out to be the only person he listens to. Unfortunately, Mendel proves to be unprofessional again, using Jason’s therapy as an excuse to see Trina, who he eventually proposes to. Surprisingly, she accepts the proposal. Meanwhile Marvin and Whizzer play a game of chess, and after Whizzer cheats to beat Marvin, he gets mad, and it spirals into one finale argument, ending with then breaking up. After this, Whizzer reflects on their relationship and goes through significant character growth. Marvin, on the other hand, gets even more frustrated than he was before, and ends up hitting Trina, although he regrets doing so immediately. He gets in own moment of self-reflection soon afterwards though, in the form of a song dedicated to his son.

Act II begins 2 years after the events of the first act. Two new characters are introduced in the form of Dr. Charlotte and her lover Cordelia, a doctor and a caterer respectively, who are Marvin’s neighbors. While all the adults are busy organizing the upcoming event of Jason’s bar mitzvah, Jason himself decides to invite Whizzer to his baseball match. Whizzer accepts the invitation and meets Marvin again after 2 years. Against his better judgement, he decides to give Marvin a second chance. Things go along relatively smoothly for a while for everyone, other than Marvin and Trina occasionally arguing about the details of the bar mitzvah. Things go downhill however when Whizzer’s health starts to worsen suddenly. He is brought into the hospital, and although everyone around him tries to pretend like everything is fine, he quickly realizes that he is dying. This is the time Dr. Charlotte tells Marvin about the alarming number of young men brought into the hospital, and that he may be at risk too. While Marvin and Whizzer try to make the most of the little time they have left together, Jason is furious at Trina and Mendel for still considering holding the bar mitzvah as if nothing happened. He seriously considers canceling it altogether, until he gets the idea of holding it in Whizzer’s hospital room as a way of including him in the event. This bittersweet occasion turns out to mark the last minutes of Whizzer’s life. Marvin looks back at the good and bad side of their relationship, but ultimately regrets none of it. The very end of the musical is Whizzer’s funeral, attended by all the remaining characters.

Falsettos is a very complicated musical with funny, tragic, heartwarming and at places absurd elements, covering topics like untraditional families, Judaism, the AIDS crisis in the 80s in America, growing up, loving and hating and forgiving, with beautiful music and imperfect but still lovable characters.

#yes this is for school #falsettos my beloved

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mochegato · 4 years

Text

The Gravity of Light

For the Jasonette July ‘Children’ prompt. Great liberties taken here but children are mentioned several times. If you squint hard enough, it fits.

Jason watched Marinette flit about her kitchen, truly earning her Pixie nickname. His arm was propped on the back of the couch, fingers tapping impatiently as he sat back against the armrest so he could watch her more easily. She was humming happily to herself as she grabbed the things she needed to finish making the cake she was preparing for him. There was no particular reason for it, she just knew he loved it so she was going to make it for him, as though she sensed his dark mood and instinctively sought to lighten it. She had a small smile and her eyes twinkled as she worked.

This was one of his favorite things to do; watch Marinette. He loved watching her do anything, but he especially loved watching her bake for him. There was something very domestic about it. It made him feel warm and secure. It made him feel like he was home and he had a place there, with her. That they could get married, have children, build a real life.

But he couldn’t. He knew that. And even if he could, he didn’t deserve it, not really. Not that life and not Marinette. Everything in her world was light and soft and kind. Everything in his world was dark and hard and brutal. And the darkness overtook the light, every time. It was like a black hole. No light could escape. Sooner or later, all light succumbed. Everyone in his life succumbed. He was not willing to let that happen to Marinette.

He had tried to break up with Marinette before, several times before. If he was being honest, he thought about it almost every day before he saw her. But as soon as he saw her his resolve disappeared, gone just like the light or maybe it was his darkness that disappeared when he was with her. One look in her brilliant blue eyes and he was lost. Body and soul lost to her radiance.

But today was different. Last night had been rough, rougher than he’d had in a while. It seemed like it had taken him hours to clean the blood off when he had gotten home. It had gotten brutal. He had gotten brutal. He had gone too far and he knew it. Nobody died, at least not yet, but it was close, close enough that it could still happen. The children the thugs had taken had seen more than they should, both before he came and while he was there. That was where he had taken it too far. Not what he did, but that he did it where the kids could see. It would take years of therapy for them to get over all of it, if they ever could. Their innocence had been stolen, the brightness in their eyes dulled, and he had played a part in that.

God, he didn’t want that for Marinette. She still looked at the world with luminescent eyes, like it was inherently good, like people were inherently good, like everyone had a chance at redemption. Years working with Batman had taught him differently. The League had definitely taught him differently. Working as a crime lord and taking down the worst of Gotham had taught him differently. The Joker had taught him differently. But, she didn’t have to be exposed to that. She could keep that effervescent light that she radiated.

Finally finished with her task in the kitchen, Marinette bounded over to him, wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed him on the top of his head. He wrapped his arms over hers and leaned back into her. She tightened her embrace for a moment then swung around to sit on the couch next to him. “Okay Jay, what is going on? You haven’t made one sarcastic, smartass, or snarky comment all night. I’ve been keeping track, there has not been a single snark in sight,” she joked trying to tease a smile out of him. “Not even a flirty comment or grab for attention. That’s like 90% of your personality gone.”

She looked at him expecting to see at least a hint of a smile but his brow was still furrowed staring at his hands. She looked over at him with concerned eyes and took his hand to rub circles on it with her thumb. “Hey, rough day? …Night? …Both?”

“I’ve been thinking…” he started, refusing to look up.

“About?” She encouraged cautiously.

“About how amazing you are,” he said gently, looking in her eyes and pushing a strand of hair out of her face and running his thumb along her cheek. “And how I don’t deserve you. If I was a better man, I never would have started up with you in the first place. And if I truly want what’s best for you, I’ll walk away. I need to walk away.”

Marinette sucked in a breath, a hurt look crossing her face for a moment before changing to sympathy and understanding. She knew Jason struggled and didn’t want to include her in it, but she wasn’t fragile, damn it. And she wasn’t going to let him suffer alone. “Don’t I get a say in that?” she asked gently.

His eyes were now pleading with her, “Mari… I’m a vigilante. And I'm not one of the good ones. I work with low lives and scum of the earth…”

“Yes, I've met Roy.”

“That’s not…. Okay fair. Not what I meant, but fair.” He pressed his lips into a thin line at Marinette’s cheeky smile. “Come on, I’m trying to be serious here. I’m trying to do the right thing. Stop being cute,” he begged. His eyes softening as he watched her. This is one of the reasons he could never walk away. She knew exactly what to say to make him feel better, to make him feel like he wasn’t cursed.

“You think I’m cute?” she looked up at him with a pretend innocent look in her eyes. He wanted so badly to kiss the smirk off of her face.

He looked away to refocus with a huff, trying to remember the look in the kids’ eyes, trying to remember the end goal, protecting Marinette. “There’s a reason he’s my best friend, Pixie. I’m not a good guy." He looked back up to her with a desperate look. “You have a good heart and I… I don’t. I don’t want to drag you down with me and I will if I stay with you. Everyone who has the bad luck to be a part of my life gets sucked into the worst parts of it. I’ve seen bad things, I’ve done bad things. I still do. I made choices you never would have made, choices you would never approve of.”

She nodded in contemplation. “Maybe… I don’t know. It was different for me. Our villains were good people who just had a bad day, well almost all of them. They never wanted to hurt anyone in the first place. They never would have let themselves go that far, it was the akuma that pushed them to become something they weren’t, someone they weren’t. Your villains are terrible people who do terrible, terrible things, things I don’t think I could handle seeing. The things you’ve seen… It’s different. It's easier in some ways and harder in others. I don’t know how I would have reacted in your place, if I knew they could get back out and hurt more kids.”

“I know how you would have reacted. You would try to talk them down and to help them get better. I mean, fuck Mari, you walk around GOTHAM with a smile on your face. Gotham! You give out baked goods to random people on the street. Hell, your favorite color is pink!” His voice was rising now, he couldn’t control it. She needed to understand. “Meanwhile, I’m like the King Midas of turning things to shit. And I don’t want you to be caught in that.”

Marinette fixed him with a firm look, eyes narrowed and lips taut. “Don’t let the pink fool you,” she admonished him. “Just because I like pink, that doesn't mean I haven't seen god awful things, Jason. I’ve gone through terrible things. Done terrible things. I've seen people die, people I loved, die right in front of me, because of me. It wasn’t uncommon. I've had to leave friends behind to be captured or tortured so I could complete the mission. I’ve watched people suffer and beg for death. I've had to push past dead bodies… so many bodies… bodies of children…” her voice got rougher and her eyes unfocused as she remembered the scene before she shook her head trying to dislodge the images, “…to survive, to stop the villain. I've seen the world flooded and the moon destroyed. Don't think for a moment that just because I smile now, that I haven't suffered. I have suffered A LOT. I still do in a lot of ways. I still have nightmares. I still have flashbacks. I still can’t go near large bodies of water without having a complete breakdown. But, I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to let the darkness win. It isn’t stronger than me. I can and will survive it.”

He looked at her in shock and horror. She hadn’t ever spoken about her past like this before. Anytime she discussed her time fighting Hawkmoth she made it seem like fun, like a kid’s show version of superheroes. There were no long lasting consequences. There was no suffering, especially not for her. “How… how did… how can…” he stumbled over the words trying to figure out what he wanted to ask and how to form the words. “Why didn’t you ever tell me? You made it all seem so… How do you… how can you… you walk around with a bounce in your step and a smile on your face like the only thing keeping you down is gravity. How… you make it look easy. How do you still believe there is hope.”

“Having hope has never been easy. It is a choice; to search for light in the Darkness. It's hard. It fucking sucks some days. Some days I can’t do it. Some days I…” she looked down for a moment to collect her thoughts. “I don't deny that the darkness is there. I’m the Guardian, Jason. I see the darkness even when others don’t. I know it's all around me, all around us. And God, Gotham just seems to breed it, doesn’t it. But, I can’t live like that. And it’s actually kind of my job to find the balance, or cause it if I can’t find it. So, if I can't find the light, then I'll become it.” She smiled up at him wanly. “You do the same, you know. You offer hope to Gotham.” He huffed out a disbelieving breath. Marinette cocked her head to the side and cupped his face, angling it to look at her. She needed him to see how earnest she was, how deeply she believed what she was saying. “Just because you don’t do it with a smile like Dick does, doesn’t mean you aren’t still doing it. Kids, they see you and they know you’re going to make it okay, that you’re watching out for them. More than any of the other vigilantes, they look to you for hope.”

She smiled up at him and crawled into his lap, straddling his legs. She slowly ran her hands up his arms, over his shoulders, and up to his neck to run her thumbs along his cheeks. She was now looking at him with the most loving eyes he had ever seen her use. “You do it for me, too. You give me hope. Those nightmares I mentioned, I don’t have them when you’re around. You make me feel safe. You are my light in the dark. I’m not afraid of the darkness as long as you are there with me because I know you’ll stand by me, holding my hand as I tell it to kindly back the fuck off.”

He pulled away from her slightly to look her in the eyes, her shining eyes. He leaned down to touch his forehead to hers before gently touching his lips to hers, quickly tilting his head to deepen it. When she pulled away a few minutes later to look at him again he followed her and recaptured her lips pouring all of his emotions into the second kiss, trying to convey everything he felt about her, all the desperation, the guilt, the love, and the hope. His arms wound around her waist pulling her flush against him. Her hands found their way into his hair and gripping it tightly. She finally broke away from him to catch her breath.

He stared in her brilliant eyes that had their own center of gravity and it made him believe; believe there was hope, believe he could have a future with her, a life, kids. That it was all possible. That maybe they could be a light for each other. He gave in to the promise he saw in her eyes, rising up so he could push her down onto the couch, crashing his lips into hers again, as if to seal the promise.

Special thanks to @ethelphantom for helping with the mood music.

Tag list:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @fsketchart @boldlyanxious @thethirdwheelfriend

#jasonette #Jasonette July #jasonette july 2k20 #maribat

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consumeconstantly · 4 years

Text

Luggage Tags

Summary: To love someone, to lie to someone, to leave someone. Marinette and Jason tell people they’re together, but things fall apart.

_____________________________________________________________

The room is dark when Jason enters. He flicks the light on to see Marinette, looking right at him.

“Pixie? What are you doing? Why were you sitting in the dark like that?”

Marinette just stares at him.

Jason shrugs and moves to the kitchen counter. The first year they were together, she woke up with nightmares. She still got nightmares sometimes, but for the past few months, she’s been prone to getting episodes like this, where she stares at the door in the dark and doesn’t talk to him for hours. He’s not really sure what’s changed, but it could be any number of things. Trauma affects everyone in different ways.

“Pasta tonight? Job’s been taking me to Japanese restaurants every day.”

Marinette faces him, but Jason doesn’t think she’s really looking at him. Her eyes track him around the room whenever she gets like this, but her face is always so devoid of emotion and so unresponsive that she’s only subconsciously recognizing his figure.

She starts sobbing. That’s new.

“Hey, hey,” Jason soothes, approaching her with one hand out and a rumbling baritone. It feels stupid to do this, but during one of her nightmares, she flipped him in her sleep and he cracked a rib. “You’re not in Paris anymore. We’re in Gotham. Hawkmoth can’t hurt you here.”

That just gets her to sob harder, shoulders shaking tears forming rivers down her face, settling in her laugh lines. Jason hasn’t seen Marinette laugh in a long time.

He goes to wrap her in a hug, but she bats his arms away, chest heaving. The time between each breath is so short, she’s just short of hyperventilating.

“C’mon, Mari, breathe with me. In for one, two, three, out for one, two three.” He feels so helpless, carefully maintaining a distance from his best friend and lover. At times like this, he can do nothing but watch as she suffers. It hurts, because even though Marinette doesn’t let him in her space even though he should be helping her, holding her, crying with her.

She does that for him, when his nightmares get bad. Marinette wraps him up in an ever gentle hug, not minding the scratches she gets or the threats he ends up giving her.

Her presence is an instant balm, the scent of butter, sugar, and clean.

Jason shrugs off his leather jacket and tries again. She’s been weird about his jacket and certain clothes as of late. He’s not sure why— she never explains, just purses her lips and looks stubbornly to the floor— but he tries to avoid the clothes she dislikes as much as possible. He supposes she gets annoyed at seeing tiny imperfections in her old designs sometimes, so Jason carefully packs those clothes away and out of sight. But he’s never been able to part with this leather jacket. It was her first gift to him, with her name embroidered on the inside of the jacket, right over his heart. He always makes sure that he treats this jacket very well, never wearing it to a fight, and cleaning and caring for it more often than he needs to. Marinette spent a long time on the jacket, and during the first year of their relationship, she liked tracing the smaller details with an index finger before pulling him into a kiss. When she was feeling down, she batted the zippers with a pout on her face. They had too many good memories on this jacket for Jason to put it away permanently.

Her tears start to subside, so Jason tries again. She hisses.

“Please, Jason. Just— just make dinner for yourself. I can’t be here right now.” With that, she stands, grabs an overcoat and a purse, casts a lingering glance at the jacket Jason left on the sofa and closes the door so quietly, he barely hears it.

They continue on like this for months.

“Do you need to start seeing your therapist again?” Jason asks one night.

Marinette laughs, and it sounds like a parody of the full-bellied sound that’s trademark of anything she really finds funny. “Jason, I’ve been seeing her for months now.”

His fork clicks against the ceramic. Marinette insisted on only buying things they would use, so the finest dishwater they had were the wine glasses gifted to Marinette by Kagami half a year ago. That had been a very odd encounter. The woman stormed into the apartment, with a curse at the edge of her tongue, four bottles of very expensive wine, and two more bottles of 70 proof liquor. She ushered Marinette into their bedroom and locked Jason out for the entire night.

“Oh,” Jason says, eloquence failing him.

“Have you— have you been feeling any better lately?”

She laughs again, and it makes him feel tiny. “Thanks to my therapist, I think I’m finally coming to terms with what Kagami told me.”

“I see.”

“Do you want to know what Kagami told me?”

He does, but Marinette is always good at talking about things when she’s ready to. If he pushes her now, she might end up in a bad place again. With his siblings, he has to push and push constantly to squeeze any information out of them. Marinette’s tendency to speak her mind is much more Jason’s speed. He’s the same kind of person. That’s a big part of the reason they get along so well.

Her hand drops to the stem of her wine glass. She swirls the white around and stares at the way the edges drip back down into the body of liquid.

“Then let’s talk about something else. How’s Tim doing? I haven’t talked to him in a while?”

“Really?” Jason raises an eyebrow. This morning, after he finished his week-long excursion to California, he dropped by Wayne Enterprises, and Tim gushed about a new coffee blend Marinette showed him.

“It’s been a few days,” Marinette clarifies.

“Probably just more of the same. Keeping Wayne Enterprises afloat and Gotham out of trouble.” A few days isn’t that long. Even the Replacement couldn’t stir up that much trouble.

“I’ve missed you,” Marinette says, looking down at the steak she prepared.

“Me too, Mare.”

“You’ll tell me when you leave, right?”

“I always do.”

The rest of their meal is eaten in silence.

“I love you.” She’s holding a freshly cut bouquet, standing at the door of his old bedroom in the manor.

Jason grabs the bouquet, grimaces, then kisses her on the cheek. “Mare, there’s thorns on these. You’re bleeding.”

“Am I?” Her voice is faint. She’s wearing a dress made out of some sort of airy fabric. It sort of makes her look like a spirit that’s ready to float away with the wind.

“Has the therapist been helping any?” His brow furrows. Marinette never hurts herself intentionally like this. She only gets hurt for others. No matter how much he tries to persuade her to stop sacrificing herself for others, Marinette just loves the world too much.

“Can I come in?”

His frown deepens. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll meet you in the dining room. We can go out on a date. It has been a month since we’ve last seen each other.”

“Right,” Marinette says with a voice so small, he has to strain to hear her. “A few minutes.”

He locks the door behind him, throws on the latest set of clothes Marinette dropped off at the manor, leaves his bed unmade, and a note on the table. When he gets down to the dining room, Alfred informs him that Marinette has been called away for an emergency meeting.

“An emergency meeting? But it’s the weekend!”

Alfred just looks at him and shakes his head.

One day, Jason comes back to find nobody in their apartment. That’s odd, because Marinette has some sort of super sense about when he’s coming back, even though he never tells anybody. Every time he comes back from being outside for longer than a few days, Marinette has always been at home, waiting for him with a smile and a hug. Well, lately, with a blank stare and tears, but she was always still there.

Maybe he should try going to therapy with her, see what’s been getting her so down. She never talks about herself anymore, just about her friends and what they do. He doesn’t know how her business is doing or even what she enjoys anymore. The game console that was used to play UMS every weekend gathers dust underneath their television.

He checks his phone. No text or missed calls from her either. Nothing since a few days ago, anyways.

“Hey,” Jason calls Tim. “Is Mare at the company?”

There’s static and the sound of breath from the other end of the line. Then it cuts out, and his phone makes the disconnected noise. Tim’s been pretty pissy, lately, and rarely takes his calls. Jason tosses his phone on the couch and runs a hand through his hair. He twirls the white tuft Marinette likes to play with. He should shower before she gets back.

He looks down at his phone.

“I’ll try one more time,” he says.

It goes straight to voicemail.

She doesn’t come home the next day, or the day after that.

Jason storms into the manor. “Where is she?”

“Where is who, Master Jason?”

“You know damn well who I’m talking about. There’s only one girl who’s location I’m ever interested in.”

Alfred in his butler suit is very good at looking condescending, even without changing his posture dramatically. “Is that so, Master Jason? You could have fooled me, then. Last time you were hunting for Talia. The time before that, Lady Cassandra.”

Jason snarls. “I don’t mean it like that. Just tell me where she is. I’m worried. She hasn’t been back in days.”

Damian comes down the steps, looking every inch the brat he was when they first met. “Don’t answer him, Pennyworth. He isn’t worth the air.”

Jason rounds on his little brother, reaching out to grab him by his shoulder. “What does that mean, huh, Demon Spawn?”

Damian doesn’t even bother breaking stride to look at him in the eyes. He barely moves enough to dodge Jason’s grasp, then continues on his way to the dining room like Jason’s not even there. Dread begins to pool in Jason’s stomach. He feels more Lazarus than he has in years, and there is no Marinette to cradle him while he breaks right now.

“Where is she?”

“You’re supposed to be her boyfriend,” Damian scoffs. “Then again, you’ve never been very good at playing your part.”

The perks of having a famous girlfriend: the internet knows exactly where she is.

The cons of having a famous girlfriend: the internet knows exactly where she is.

Jason feels terrible. It’s Fashion Week in Paris. Jason always makes the time to go to Fashion Week with Marinette. She reminds him months and months in advance the exact dates that Fashion Week is going to be that year, and he always, always blocks out at least two days to be with her.

He almost thinks about flying out, but Fashion Week is basically already over, and the day she presented her Spring/Summer line already passed.

“Marinette, I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

His message goes straight to voicemail.

He goes on another mission.

The next time Jason comes back home, Marinette is sitting in that same chair in the darkness again.

“I’m back,” he says, trying to gauge what mental state she’s in right now. “I missed you.”

She sits, primly, properly, and in silence. Jason flicks the light on.

“You love me,” Marinette states. How long has it been since he’s last heard her voice in person? Two months? Three?

“Yeah,” Jason agrees, crossing the room to give her a hug. “Of course I do.”

A sharp intake of breath. Marinette holds her arm out, eyes pinched close, lips devoid of color. “I love you, too, Jason.”

His heart softens. He needs to start spending more time at home.

She rises to her feet, placing a hand on her Ladybug-red luggage.

“Are you going on a business trip? I’m sorry I didn’t make it to your last line.”

There’s a careful blankness in her eyes that makes him uneasy. Something about the size of her luggage, and the fact that there are things missing from around the house. The gramophone that holds the Miraculous is missing from the side table. Pictures of Marinette, Kagami, Chloe, and Alya have disappeared. All of the plants that Marinette meticulously keeps alive are gone.

“No,” Marinette says. “I’m leaving for good.”

Sun streaks through the window blinds. The bags underneath her eyes are prominent, and her whole face looks swollen.

“Oh,” Jason says. “Did you find a better apartment? I can put off my next mission so we can move into it.”

Marinette blinks. She laughs, full belly, but Jason’s heart squeezes. Her voice sombers. “Jason, it’s better if we break up now. I’m-- I’m tired. I can’t do this anymore.”

He can see every fine line on Marinette’s face. When did she get them? He can’t recall. “What do you mean? Why?”

Slowly, Marinette drags her luggage forward and pops his collar, staring at it with sad, sad eyes. She runs a bitten-to-the-quick finger down the zipper of his leather jacket, holds the zipper in her hand and sets it back down with nary a jingle. Her smile forms with her lips, not her teeth, and the wrinkles at the sides of her eyes don’t gather up. It’s a soft, sad, small thing. Tip-toeing, Marinette presses a chaste kiss to his lips. “You’re a good man, Jason. But I can’t trust you with my heart.”

She leaves her key hanging at the peg and closes the door gently.

@jasonette-july-2k20

#angst #jasonette #miraculous ladybug #dcu #maribat #jasonette july #original content #marinette dupain cheng #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #breakup

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hotchley · 3 years

Note

🦄 i know i sent the gideon ask like forever ago but i was also thinking about it recently. again, disclaimer, gideon is ooc bc tbh i don't even remember his character from 10 seasons ago lmaoo

so you know how the entire team hates therapy? after adrian bale, gideon doesn't effectively use his therapy (bc he's a profiler, he knows how to get around these questions) and thus never really recovered from his trauma. but he knows how he should act so around the team, he pretends. and he does it quite well for a while but of course the anger and grief and sadness was gonna erupt eventually. and hotch is just there. and hotch is his friend. and it was just so easily to blow out on hotch, to rage and scream and cry, bc he's unit chief ssa aaron hotchner, he can take it. in ways that morgan can't and reid is so young. and also bc aaron let him, forgave him for the first time, ran interference for the second, pulled him into his office for third and by the ninth, he doesn't even pretend to have an ulterior motive.

they both don't even know how they got here, how their relationship got so out of balance. but somewhere along the way, anger took over the sadness and venting to hotch became more about demeaning him. bc it made him feel a little bit better, a little more in control, to remind aaron that even if he is their unit chief, he isn't the team's favorite senior member. that reid still looks to him more than he looks to hotch, and that when strauss reaches her boiling point, she'll have morgan replace him. besides, the team likes morgan more anyway. morgan is their friend, and hotch is just their drill sargeant.

hotch saw gideon leaving from miles away. he knew he just had to wait it out, bc gideon was breaking, and he can't help but feel a little bit responsible bc he's the one who said gideon was ready. and he can take it. at the beginning, he was so sure that he wouldn't break before gideon does. how did they even get here, with him constantly closing the door and blinds to his office, pretending that he's swamped with paperwork when all he's doing is praying that gideon doesn't knock on his door. that the rest of the team doesn't catch him crying or having a panic attack. hail marys that the rest of the team doesn't see what gideon sees, doesn't think what gideon snarks at him.

and tobias hankel was the last straw, the case that breaks hotch. bc gideon was right after all. they hate him. of course gideon would hate him if reid thinks he's a narcissist. prentiss doesn't even know him and can see that he's a misogynist. he can't figure out why morgan is the only one being nice, bc being called a drill sargeant stings so much less than being called a bully from jj. and he's so afraid of what gideon would say that he cuts it off right there, and hopes that gideon would do him at least the courtesy of finding him in private before digging into him. (of course he doesn't. he's finally almost dozing off before he hears gideon mutter his worst quality but he's awake enough to hear reid's sharp gasp and the rest of the team exchange looks, but not say anything in his defense.)

i really like ur idea of strauss feeling like something is wrong and trying to help in her own way. but aaron misinterprets her and thinks she hates him too (of course, prentiss must have already told her he's a misogynist). i like thinking that in this au, strauss reaches out to rossi bc somehow, no matter what, rossi always manages to get thru to aaron.

also like. more angst on rossi's side bc this is his friend, heck even his best friend (gideon did name his son after rossi). how did this even happen. he's in disbelief and slight denial bc how could gideon ever do this to their mutual friend. and he can't even confront him bc gideon is gone. the job broke him, so much so he resorted to breaking aaron just to feel like he had some control in his life.

wow this got waaayyy too long lmaoo

AAH THIS IS LIKE PERFECT AND IF YOU WANTED TO WRITE THE ENTIRE AU I WOULD TELL YOU TO GO FOR IT!!

Hotch knows Gideon well. He knows his mannerisms and his tells and everything. So he knows that something is wrong, and the answers he gave to his therapist were lies designed to get him back in the field as soon as possible. But he was afraid so he signed off on his return, even though he knew it was a mistake.

Spencer wasn’t there when Adrian Bale killed six agents that Jason was responsible for. Neither was Derek. They were at the precinct. But Aaron... Aaron was right there. He saw what happened first-hand and Jason hates him because he didn’t die. It’s wrong, he knows that, but he can’t help him.

The first time he loses control, it’s about what happened in Boston. Aaron blames himself too, so he just takes it and apologises. The second time is about Dave leaving, and Hotch just closes the door so nobody worries. And Gideon likes the way it makes him feel. Unsubs fight back. Hotch does not.

The digs get more and more personal each time. But Hotch takes it because the team don’t hate him. They may not like him very much, but they respect him, which is more than what Jason does.

When Tobias Hankel happens, Jason doesn’t even bother to whisper it. Hotch is finally relaxing and Gideon just says: Your worst quality is that you’re incapable of being enough. You weren’t enough then, you’re not enough now and you won’t be enough in the future.

Strauss tries to help, but at the end of the day, she’s a woman in a position of power and her superiors will look at any caring move and turn it into weak emotion and she can’t let that happen. So when Hotch becomes even more guarded with her, she reaches out to Dave. Because if Dave can’t do it, nobody can.

And Dave is terrified. He’s absolutely distraught. Because he knows how important it is to believe the victim, and what can happen if they’re not believed. And he knows that appearances can and will be deceiving. But he doesn’t... he can’t wrap his head around it. It makes him sick, to think that he trusted Jason with Aaron, only for this to happen.

He doesn’t want to believe it but he knows that he needs to. So he comes back, and is in Quantico when Strauss phones to say that Jason is gone but Aaron isn’t getting anyone new because it would mean he has to go home and he’s still waiting, just in case.

Dave turns up, not even pausing to think what will happen if Aaron doesn’t want him there, but it’s fine because Hotch hugs him like nothing has changed, and it’s not much but there’s a slight smile on his face and Dave knows that it will be a long journey, but he’s here now and Jason won’t ever hurt him again.

#tw abuse #the gideon au #criminal minds #🦄anon

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imonthinice · 3 years

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 11/?

Word Count: 2.5k

Author's Note: Y/N- your Name.

Warnings: Description of Injury, Description of the court system, gets fucking heated again, Swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Monday morning came and she knew that Jason wasn’t going to go to class and she had to go meet up with him after school to give him notes. She started to dress a lot nicer today, since she was probably going to unintentionally meet some of Jason’s family today.

Here’s another outfit because I do what I want<3

I really like being in control here lmao also just imagine it’s paired with black or beige heels because why the fuck not, right? Fashion.

This class, they discussed how circumstantial evidence affected the psychological profile of the attackers. For example, circumstantial evidence is when the entire amount of circumstances are stacked towards each other and it becomes less likely that it’s all a coincidence. The Professor had said, So when the case is circumstantial, it’s likely a crime of passion and having a criminal profile for the attacker is unlikely. He continued.

It was fascinating. She assumed it was a case that forensics would be heavily involved in and that the criminal psych crew wouldn’t handle. She was right. More likely than not, they wouldn’t handle a circumstantial case because of the fact that it’s not calculated, for the most of the time.

Her notes were a mess again. Barely legible, she’d have to use Jason’s computer to print and get them to be able to be read, which was fine. She was expecting to have to do that either way, legible or not, because he needs a copy and she does too.

The things I’ll do for the weird pretty boy in my criminal psych class, she thought, worth it.

She would end up texting Jason once class ended, they had already been texting most of the morning, anyway.

Hey, just finished class, are you busy?

Nope, siblings are at work. Dad’s still in Metropolis.

And your grandfather?

Do not know. He’s nice, I swear.

Be there soon x.

That was the first time that she had even sent him an x, which is a kiss, but she felt like it was right, so she did it. What a flirt I am, she joked with herself, It’s a fucking x, I need to shut up. She laughed at herself.

She got into the car and drove the way to Wayne Manor, a trip she knew all-too-well at this point, however, the press was bombarding the entrance, so she couldn’t pull into the driveway and had to pay for parking at the nearby park. She paid for a day’s worth of parking and began to walk to the Manor. With her bag in tow.

Of course, the press noticed her. Why wouldn’t they? And they were down her throat.

“Why are you out here if you don’t speak English and are known to be close to the family?” one said in a downplaying tone to her, she tried to sneak past, knowing she was live on national TV and not exactly feeling like starting a fight.

“Hello? We’re talking to you, Ma’am!” one yelled at her, she started shielding her face from the flashing lights and the cameras.

She would make it 2, maybe 3 steps before a camera was shoved in her face. Then, she started running. She was quick, and she would dodge between them all before the security snatched her into the gates of the Manor. She breathed a quick sigh of relief once she was in.

The press didn’t like this, and they would keep yelling at her as she stood in the driveway, trying to catch her breath from her escapade of running through the vultures.

“Just tell us your name!” one yelled.

“Tell us what you like doing on the weekends!” another yelled, and she got an idea, before someone could answer she screamed,

“I like doing your mum on the weekends, bitch!” before flipping off the press and running to the door while the press started talking about her.

She really had to catch her breath this time, she was so out of shape and the fact that she was lugging her notes around made it worse. When a friendly looking English butler came out onto the step with her, hand outstretched to shake hers, “Hello there, Y/N, I’m Alfred, Jason’s grandfather.”

She was taken aback by this and slightly jumped when he greeted her, but she took his hand and shook it, “Hi Alfred, please tell me you didn’t hear that,” she laughed.

“I heard that, that’s how I knew you were here. Jason was right, you’re as crazy as he is,” he said.

“Oh lord, I’m sorry,” she laughed again, “I swear I didn’t mean for you to hear me and my childish insults.”

“Child listen, I’ve been dealing with the press for years, I promise you, they deserve the insults, childish or not,” Alfred reassured her, “Do you wish to come inside, or are you still out of breath, Y/N?” he asked.

“I’ll come inside. I’ve given the press enough content for one day,” she joked/

“It’s been nice, Y/N, really. Thank you for the entertainment, but I have work to do.”

“Anytime, Alfred.”

And they parted ways, Y/N went to Jason’s room, knocking. When he groaned, she cracked the door open and stuck her head in,

“You dead?”

“No.”

“Good. Hi,” she said as she entered his room and walked to his desk to drop her bag and pull out his desk chair to put it beside his bed again, “How are you, still in pain?” she asked when she sat down.

“Hi,” he whined.

“Hi,” she repeated to him.

“Hi.”

She leant in to his face and rested her forehead against his, she didn’t know if this was the comfort he needed, but she did it anyway, when he wrapped his arms around her back, though, she knew she was doing something right.

“Hi, Jason.”

“Mhm,” he whispered.

She stopped leaning against his forehead, much to his dismay, as he groaned at her moving, but she had other ideas.

She leant and moved in closer to his lips, putting her hand on his cheek, and then leaning in for a kiss. It was a lot like their first kiss, small and passionate, but enough to prove that she was just trying to make sure he was okay. When she pulled away again, he groaned again.

“Now, will you tell me how you are, sir?”

“In pain,” he managed to say.

“Have you been walking around? You should.”

“You told... me to rest,” his speech wasn’t slurred, but it was slower than normal.

“You still need to move your joints, Jay. Just sparingly so you don’t hurt yourself. too much time off of your feet will make walking again harder on you,” she said.

“Mhm,” he groaned.

“Okay fine, but when you need more physical therapy don’t come crying to me, Jay.”

“Is this... our first... fight?”

“No, you goon. I’m giving you medical advice and you’re being stubborn, it’s advice and I can’t force you.”

“Remember... that... when I get... hurt fighting.”

“Is this an often occurrence?”

“Not... often.”

“Well I can live with it being a once-in-a-blue moon event, since you clearly have security.”

“Special... edition because... of my... injuries,” he groaned.

“Damn. Still, better than nothing. Anyway, I have notes to write, so I’m going to move you laptop over here, alright?” she asked.

“Mhm,” he said, very sleepy-sounding.

“You can sleep, Jay,” she said as she unplugged his laptop and walked back to her chair, she put it on the chair and moved her bag to beside the chair, sat down, opened the laptop, and began typing. Jason would put one of his hands on one of her knees.

“Do you need something, Jay?”

“You,” he whispered out.

“Jay, I need to write these notes, you need them,” she said.

He groaned and moved to try to turn his back to her, forgetting he was injured and taking a massive breath in when he tried to.

“God, don’t move, Jason,” she said, placing a hand on his abdomen, “You can be upset that I’m not in the bed holding you, but you shouldn’t turn around, baby.”

He stared at her when she called him ‘baby’, which prompted her to blush a lot, but she tried to ignore him to pretend that he wasn’t piercing her soul with his staring to get her to cuddle with him. She kept trying to type out the notes, the class was the same amount of length as it should have been, so there was a lot of notes.

She wanted to cuddle with him, she knew she did. But she told him she’d get him the notes he wanted for class, and that was something she promised she’d do. But then she remembered something.

“Oh, I’ve been forgetting to ask, how’s your best friend?”

“Will? He’s... he’s okay... why?”

“Because he got injured too, remember?”

“Oh... yeah he... did.”

“Mhm! So I asked if you knew anything, Jay. Are you forgetting stuff because of the pain or something?” she asked.

“Just... drowsy.”

“Yeah? Well good thing I’m almost done.”

“Hurry... up” he laughed, his laugh was pained, but he did laugh.

She knew him forgetting his best friend was injured was weird, but she didn’t think anything of it. She just kept typing the notes out till she was done, at which point, she hooked the laptop up to his printer on the other side of his room, much to his dismay that she had to leave him, and printed the notes.

She put them in order on top of his desk, plugged his laptop back in, put his chair back and put her notes back in her bag before taking off her jacket and slinging it on the chair she had been sitting on.

He groaned as he watched her walk around his room, he was in pain, it had been two days since the incident and he was still struggling. Dick told him that he’d be in a lot less pain the closer it got to his stitches being taken out. He hoped it was true.

When she went and sat on his bedside, leaning her forehead to his and cupping his face with her hands. She kissed him again. He kissed her back, wrapping his hands along her lower back and gently adding pressure as she sat with her legs off the bed.

He parted his lips and she did the same as they danced with their tongues. Not assertion of dominance, but trying to be on top on the other when her hands found their way into his hair. She ended up on top of him, with one of her hands used to stabilize herself as they made out. He was able to put a hand on her ass and just grab it. There was some movement, because there had to be, but the only touching was his hand and her hand.

Because they couldn’t go further. The two of them were cock-blocked to touch closer by his injuries. When they broke lips, she sighed because she couldn’t get closer to him.

But she laid to his left like they had done the night before, and she cuddled on him when he would bury his face into her hair.

Again, the moments they shared were always the slowest and calmest moments that they adored. She wanted to go back on dates with him like they did before the events of his injuries. She wanted to have the adventure of running away from the press, not just running into his house.

She didn’t know when he was going to heal from his injuries, but she swore she would take him on a crazy and worthwhile date when he got better. She didn’t know when that was going to be, but it was going to be.

------------------------------------------

They ended up falling asleep until the next morning. And Y/N’s car? It got towed. Y/N had class? Yeah, she did. Was all of his siblings home? Yes, yes they were. So, how was she going to make it out of the house before they noticed? Well, it was 4am. She and Jason awoke when she realized the time, freaked out, and kissed him ‘bye’. At least she thought it was bye, he clearly had a way to pull her into conversation whenever he wanted.

“Don’t go,” he said, his speech seeming to have recovered.

“Jay! I have to go, you know this, I have class, I have notes to write, I’m wearing the exact same clothes that I did yesterday,” she said, panicked.

“Can I see you tonight?”

“Tonight? Yeah of course. Why? Will you miss me?”

“What if I do?”

“You have my number, Jay,” she said.

“What if that’s not enough?” he asked.

“Then you’ll see me tonight, but I have to warn you, I have another class tomorrow so we can’t spend all day in your bed.”

“That’s a shame. I think it’s been like 3 days since I got injured though, so if all goes well,” he winked, while propping himself in a sitting position for the first time since he got injured and grabbed her waist to pull her on him, she was sitting in his lap, “If all goes well,” he whispered, “Maybe we won’t have to stop,” he spoke in her ear as if he was begging her to stay until he could move again.

“We aren’t supposed to speed run our way into a relationship, Jason,” she purred.

“No one needs to know how serious we are but us,” he said. He was captivating her in every was possible, blowing on her neck with every word he said.

If they hadn’t had their own lives they needed to attend to, lord knows what the two of them would be doing.

She tried to fix her appearance to the best of her abilities before she had to go outside and see the world, she didn’t exactly want the rest of them to think she was blowing Jason in his room after he had been stabbed in an attack.

But if the tabloids ran their mouths, lord knows what she’d say to fight back against them.

She checked her appearance one last time before going over to Jason and kissing him bye and see you later. She wanted to kiss him for a longer period of time, but before she knew it she was running out of the house and down the streets, she was going to have to walk home that night.

Had Jason known that she was going to walk home, he wouldn’t have let her go that day. but it was around 4am, the sun was going to rise and she’d be in broad daylight, she thought she was going to be fine and to be fair, she didn’t have reason to think she wouldn’t be okay. She always ended up okay in Metropolis, so why wouldn’t it b the same in Gotham. Gotham had many more heroes compared to Metropolis anyway.

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen, she thought, Wait no, don’t say that.

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