#Is to... Be comfortable with myself and accept myself plus share life with someone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littlespacereader · 2 months

Note

Hello! Could I request some Cg! Matt Murdock headcanons please? I saw you just wrote for him and I had no clue you were a fan of Daredevil too so I’m pretty ecstatic right now lmao. Anyways THATS was all have a great day!💜💜💜

Of course I can!! After writing the Valentine’s Day fic about Caregiver Matt Murdock I literally can’t get enough of him! So here are some cute Headcannons for Matt Murdock as a Caregiver! Plus some extra Daredevil type things as well!

Caregiver Matt Murdock Headcannons (SFW)

Matt is probably one of the nicest and gentlest Caregivers out there. Being someone who is extremely sensitive to sound himself, he is never one to raise his voice in anyway to his little one and is always going out of his way to make sure their comfortable.

You met Matt by simply running into each other. You were lost trying to find a doctors office in the same building when you popped your head into the office of Nelson and Murdock. Little did you know the simply mistake would change your life forever.

Matt and you got along so easily. You became quick friends and began to share everything with each other. He shared his secret double life as Daredevil and you shared your secret of regression.

Matt is extremely compassionate and was honored you trusted him enough to not only tell him about your regression but also start regressing with him. When you eventually asked for him to be your CG, he was head over heels. Of course he accepted and here you two are today!

Matt is a judgement free zone. Whatever you want or need for your regression he is all for it! Wanna wear diapers? Totally chill with him! Wanna have a sippy cup? He already bought you two! Aren’t the biggest fan of something? He respects your boundaries and strives to make you comfortable!

His favorite thing to do with his little one is go to the park. The city is loud and sometimes overstimulating. But the parks in the city help drown out some of that background noise.

He loves to go on picnic and lay all day on a blanket in the sun cuddling his little one close. Or he love to sit and listen to his little one running around the playground giggling and playing.

Matt is religious but he NEVER pushes his beliefs or anything of that nature onto his little one. He would NEVER. Whether his little one believes the same thing as him, believes something different, or doesn’t believe anything at all, his motto is that it isn’t his business to mind or care.

Matt is not really a tv or movie type of guy. But he is a big reader! So the two of you have your evening story times together! You settle down in his lap, sippy cup in hand as he reads one of his braille books to you all while you rest your head on his shoulder.

Matt is a big cuddler. Like most heroes he comes home late in the night after a long night of fighting crime. Cuddling helps heal the horrors that he witness. You’re his rock, you settle him down enough to sleep, your heat resting upon his chest is all he need to be able to fall asleep.

When Matt comes home hurt or injured from fighting crime, his Little takes it upon themselves to try and make him better. After all they just got themselves a doctors kit from Claire! It’s got bandaids and all sorts of stuff to help their Caregiver feel better. Matt sometimes feel guilty about it, he feels as though he should be taking care of them not vice versa. But he can’t help but love his little one as they run over with their kit to make him feel better, kissing all his injuries and putting plenty of bandaids all over him.

Oh? You wanna sneak into the kitchen and grab yourself a cookie without Matt knowing? Think again! His hearing is good, too good. “And what do you think you’re doing?” “I’m getting myself a snack.” “Standing on the kitchen counter infront of the tall cabinet where the cookies happen to be stored?” “…” “That’s what I thought get down.”

He’s stern but he’s a massive pushover. He’s too sweet to really be that stern.

Now let’s talk about Matt’s family

While Matt’s birth family isn’t alive, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one. Infact he has the best family anyone could ask for! Foggy, Karen, Claire, and yes…even Frank at times. All of them love and accept Matt’s little one. Some of them even go above and beyond for them!

Foggy & Karen are in their lives the most, working with Matt will do that. They both adore Matt’s little one. When he brings them to the office they’ll completely ignore Matt and spend all their time giving them all their love and attention. Karen and Foggy will literally fight over the Little! They are his go to babysitters and they are honored.

Foggy is Uncle Foggy and you guess it, he’s the fun Uncle. He’s the type of uncle that sneaks you candy, sticks up for you against your caregiver even if your clearly guilty and breaks all your caregivers rules when they watch over you. He loves to play around and be a goof.

Karen is Aunt Karen. She’s usually a buffer for Foggy’s craziness. She’s kind and gentle. She loves to play with the little one, any game they like from dress up, to race cars, to something simple as a board game. She’s always knows their needs without them saying a word. Her kind gentle nature always put the little one at peace.

Claire and Matt’s little one became friends after they called her in a panic because Matt was badly injured. She arrived and not only took care of him, but also his little one. Being a nurse she’s seen regression so she’s no stranger to it. She’s also prepared for it, having pacifiers, fidget toys, diapers, sippy cups and more. Whatever they chose to take she’s prepared to always make sure they’re at ease. She eventually becomes one of Matt many babysitters for his little one. At first she made a big deal about it, she doesn’t mean a word of it having fallen for the adorable Little. Now their her little medical assistant.

Frank becoming Uncle Frank came as a shock to everyone, especially Matt. His little one once got roped in some bad business and The Punisher saved them. Frank called Matt and explained what happened. Matt expected to come back to his apartment and find Frank and his Little chatting, but definitely not cuddling while he read them a book, doing funny voices for all the characters. He’s never seen Frank so paternal before, so gentle. But his little one brought that father side of Frank out. They’re helping him heal through his tragic past: After that, Frank was added to the list of baby sitters Matt had in his arsenal.

At the end of the day Matt and his family of friends love and accept you for the adorable and fun Little you are!🥰

60 notes · View notes

cherryskyies · 2 years

Text

What your favorite slasher says about you

includes: rz michael myers, thomas hewitt. hannibal lecter

coming next: og michael myers, bo & vincent sinclair, jason voorhees, the grabber

Masterlist || Navigation || Ao3 || pt.2

RZ Michael Myers

Not to start off on a sexual note, but you’re heavy into size difference — both the security it brings and the idea of it being so easy for him to pick you up and manhandle you is like, the best thing ever for you guys.

I think a good amount of you rz michael myer fans are plus size, mainly because I myself am so I see the appeal of a man that is strong enough to lift you with ease, when the average man might have a struggle — even if they don’t, it’s hard to let go of the insecurity and fear that they will, whereas michael has flipped a damn car so no worries there.

You like the dominance, the fact that he could kill you with one hand, but he doesn’t. It makes you feel protected, even though he’s the one you should be protected from.

It’s giving knife play and a choking kink. You’re into the idea of being marked by another, permanent scars left behind as a reminder of them and a hand large enough it covers your entire throat, other hand holding your wrists above your head.

You prefer forced submission.

Something about being stalked everywhere you go is appealing

Probs an air or fire sign

Thomas Hewitt

Again with the size difference — you guys go crazy for a man that can throw you around like a sack of potatoes.

Family is important to you, someone who goes to any length to protect and provide is something you never really had, so you find comfort in those who give what you wish you had.

I’m feeling like there is a breeding kink going on here, the idea of someone loving you so tenderly and selflessly sends you into overdrive — maybe you’re insecure yourself with your own looks, so having someone like Tommy makes you feel better — not because he is ugly by any means, but because he himself knows what it is like to think lesser of yourself for not being able to conform to society's norms of what is desirable.

I feel like your morals clash with the average person. You wouldn’t be too against cannibalism; perhaps you wouldn’t mind trying it if it was consensual or maybe you would try it as a means of survival, much like the Hewitts. Either way, I don’t sense a lot of distaste on the subject of cannibals.

Probs a water sign

Hannibal Lecter

You enjoy the finer things in life, maybe you’re an artist or musician of sorts – might be a slight alcoholic with a preference of wine or champagne.

Similar to Thomas Hewitt fans, you are not against cannibalism, you see it no differently than killing an animal for its meat, just less accepted by society. You’d probably help Hannibal with the designs he does on the dead bodies he doesn’t eat.

Domestic life doesn’t seem like a bad thing to you. Having a loving husband who will stop at no means to keep you safe, Sunday dinners you share with friends and coworkers, the occasional ball or fancy dinner — it’s a dream, really.

Kids are hit or miss with you. Maybe you’d rather be the frequent babysitter or adopt, but you almost prefer your life to be child free so you can do your own thing with no other responsibility – maybe you were the child that “ruined” your parent’s love and do not wish the same thing for yourself, because much like you, a child does not deserve such a burden.

When someone asks you “What is a trait you’d like in a partner?” possessive is a word you use often. You yearn to feel sought after, desired. You want to be worth something to someone, to be held close and whispered sweet nothings to.

Last thing, but I feel like promises have often fallen through; people promise this or that and never go through with it, so you have some major trust issues on top of the obvious daddy issues and love for dilfs.

Probs an earth sign

1K notes · View notes

ell-alexanderarnold · 1 year

Text

Words bubble up like soda pop

Summary: Y/n gets fed up by the arguments her and Trent keeps having

Angst & Fluff

Another argument had ruined your day, small conflicts bubble up to a big argument. You can’t believe the arguments kept sneaking up behind your back every day, you’re sick of it. But neither of you cares about it, that’s the problem you can’t seem to take the matter into your own hands. It’s like an never ending loop, conflict-argument-he says he’s sorry and tells you he loves you- cuddles then it goes on.

“I said I’m not feeling well, why can’t you accept it?” You said, it felt like the hundredth time you’ve said it. Tonight Trent’s friend is hosting a party that he wants to go to but you have no interest of going, you just couldn’t stand him at the moment after all the words he had said to you last night plus all the nights before that. “You only care about yourself Y/n” Same sentence he brings up every fight. Not just that, your mental health has been shit as well and it blends into the state you’re at in your relationship with Trent. He knows that you’ve been fighting with your mental health before, but now when the season isn’t going well for him he has started to blame himself for a lot of things that’s happening with the team. He uses you as a wall to throw all his emotions on you- which you didn’t mind at the beginning, you wanted to be there for him but now it has become too much.

“Come on don’t be dull, it will cheer you up” Trent pleaded.

You thought about it for a minute. Maybe this was the point where you couldn’t care less, you felt like everything in your life was out of place, why not have a little fun in all this mess?

”Fine, I’ll go” You stated.

You spent the rest of your afternoon getting ready for the party, you took a shower, picked an outfit, did you makeup. You decided to go for a navy blue dress and loose curls in your hair. This was the first time in a long time you felt beautiful, you smiled in the mirror and then went down the stairs, Trent was waiting on the couch looking at his phone until he saw you.

He walked over to you and spoke “Wow baby, you look..”

“Amazing? Yea I know”

“Wish I could say the same” You teased.

“Hey!” Trent gushed as he grabbed you round your waist and kissed your neck.

You felt his warmth around you, his perfume that comforted you, you felt safe in his arms. But suddenly you remembered how he had treated you lately and decided to take a step back.

“Trent, we should go” You spoke up after a moment in his embrace.

“You’re right” He said and let go of you as the two of you walked to the hallway and got ready to leave.

In the car on your way to the party you two listened to your shared playlist and vibed along with the songs - acting like everything was okay between you two, you got flashbacks from the beginning of your relationship when you were two dumb teenagers madly in love. You think back and wondered where did it go wrong?

When you arrive at Trent’s friend house you see many cars parked outside the house and you already know is gonna be a tough night.

You entered the house and loud music is playing, people dancing and you see Trent’s friend approach you two.

“Trent, nice to see you! And this is?”

“My girl, Y/n” Trent said as he looked at you and you smiled at his friend.

You leave Trent to speak with his mates and you sit down at the bar ordering one shot for yourself. You felt the liquor burn down your throat, as Trent sat down next to you.

“Take it easy Y/n don’t lose it again” Trent mumbled.

“Excuse me?” You snapped.

“Don’t want you all wasted, just saying” He shrugged as you felt the anger rising inside of you, he could piss you off so easily and you hated it.

“Don’t tell me what to do, I can handle myself”

“Clearly not” He accused.

“Piss off Trent” You cursed back at him and walked away to get away from him. As you were on your way to the restroom you could notice someone following you, Trent. He grabbed your wrist and spoke“Where are you going?”

You didn’t answer him and kept moving forward and locked the door. You had reached your breaking point, it all crashed down on you. You were sobbing loudly but at this point you didn’t care, you were also pretty sure that the music was too loud for anyone to hear you until your phone buzzed.

Trent: I can hear you Y/n, let me in please

You slowly got up from the floor and unlocked the door, he looked shocked like he had never seen you this broken before.

“Y/n, What’s wrong? Wh-“

“What’s wrong? What is wrong Trent? I’m tired of this.” You cried into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Tired of what my love?” He uttered.

“Can’t you see? We keep having these fights every single day, it’s destroying us. Aren’t you tired too?”

“Yeah trust me I am” He chuckled as you sniffed.

“Then why aren’t we doing anything about it?” You sighed.

“Three years ago I would never have thought I'd be in a restroom with you crying over our relationship” He scoffed.

“Trent answer me”

“I don’t know Y/n, but I’m sorry it has to be this way. I really am” Trent said as you noticed his eyes began to tear up.

Great. Now you’re both crying together, what have you two done do yourselves? You knew you two couldn’t escape that you loved each other too much to break up, so that felt safe in your head. He couldn’t live without you, you couldn’t live without him, who would take care of you when you’re wasted like this? Trent would, who would take of him after he lost a game? You would.

“I love you Trent” You said.

“We’re gonna fix this Y/n, okay?” He assured.

“Okay” You said as you took a deep breath to calm down.

Trent hold you in his arms for a while, just the two of you in a restroom on a Saturday night.

“Let’s go home and watch a movie together” Trent suggested.

“Only if you let me choose”

“Of course my girl” He said and kissed you.

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trentalexanderarnold #trent imagine #trent alexander arnold fluff #trent x reader #trent alexander arnold angst #football imagine #footballer x reader #england x reader #liverpool fc #trent alexander arnold fanfic #trent alexander arnold one shot

229 notes · View notes

ironborealis · 1 year

Text

So this post appeared on my feed because I was dumb and said I was interested in things tagged "Severus Snape" because I forget how things work sometimes.

I gave them a long response but I think it's a banger so I've cleaned it up to share.

To preface, I'll say that I was still in school when the books were starting to come out, and so I was in school during the period the books are set. I wasn't in the UK and can't speak to specifics there, but my own.

Your question feels really disingenuous when you tag it #james potter supremacy but I am a fool and going to answer you honestly anyway.

I liked Snape the moment it was revealed in the first book that he wasn't the villain -- because it showed him as someone who gave no fucks about how others saw him. I had been violently bullied for years at that point, but was told that I needed to stop letting it hurt me or to stop acting in ways to invite the abuse. All I internalized was that it was my fault and I needed to change myself so that they'd like me. So meeting a character who just stopped giving a fuck about other people's opinions was fascinating.

The text doesn't, I think, intend for you to read Snape's behavior as incredibly abusive. A lot of his behavior to the students wouldn't have been seen as abnormal when I was in school. Unkind but within tolerance. He was a prick and the assumption with teachers like that was that A) don't take it personally B) If you can't do A then stay off their radar and count the minutes until class is over. I'm hoping that the sudden uproar about how abusive Snape is now is a sign that school culture has changed. Because you're right, it's awful, and shouldn't happen. But that's now, and not then. Then it was acceptable if not exactly encouraged behavior.

For me, Snape's teaching style would have been within normal limits and at least it wasn't false advertising. I saw popular "kind" teachers bully disabled students, throw coffee mugs, and choke slam 9 year olds. Those teachers were never punished. I preferred the hard asses who didn't pretend, but would restrain themselves to only demoralizing you with words. They never went half so far as those much beloved teachers. These were in schools that had long banned corporal punishment by teachers, by the way.

Plus, Snape's bullying is written in such a way that is so over the top and dramatic it's hard for me to believe that there's any real intent as he never follows through with most of his threats. He's amusing himself, which is fucked up, yes, but so is his situation being forced to teach children (a job he hates) by daylight and fighting a war as a spy by moonlight (a job he also hates).

When book 5 revealed his own history of being bullied the kinship I felt for him just kinda clicked. Game knew game, even if I didn't know it then.

What impressed me about Snape is that he made a terrible decision of joining the DE, he knows it, he regrets it, and most importantly he does something about it. He sabotages them and when he can't do that he tries to reduce harm as much as possible.

He joins a side lead by people who are responsible for his own traumas, who are unrepentant about their roles in it but still expect him to get over it. Snape isn't interested in pretending everything is fine with his allies when everything isn't fine and that's such a challenging and brave stance to take.

Because if I were in his shoes, my first instinct would be to swallow all my anger and stuff it in well inside me and pretend it doesn't exist so that I could be seen as agreeable and the bigger person. I know I'm not alone in that. However, that instinct has caused me so much damage that I will spend the rest of my life fighting that instinct tooth and nail.m, because what it means is that you are minimizing yourself and your safety in order to make other people comfortable.

Snape might have the right idea (but poor execution) when it comes to some people, but he falters when it comes to Lily. I was so disappointed with the reveal that Lily was his primary motivation, even if it's grown on me. He's so damned loyal to someone who wasn't even a great friend to him by the end. Lily smiles before she intercedes in SWM, which to me signaled that the whole scene was just a way for James to pull Lily's metaphorical pigtail (Snape) in their courtship and if I were the pigtail I'd be pissed too. It doesn't justify but it adds context for why he might want to hurt her then.

And Snape spends the rest of his life regretting his moments of weakness and giving his life to prevent Voldemort from winning, for a friend who failed him pretty spectacularly.

Most people don't do that -- they regret and then they try to get on with their lives. They don't want to talk about it. We're STILL finding guards from WWII concentration camps hiding out in suburbs after all. Snape doesn't choose that and that's brave as hell.

Snape's "redemption" is a hot debate, but I don't know that redemption is even his goal. He's just trying to do what's right. If he were really searching for redemption then certainly I think he'd have sought a more friendly relationship with Harry, if only on the side.

Which brings me back to how can you claim "James Potter Supremacy" when he's only seen in SWM, where he's a cruel bully to someone minding their own business (SWM takes place after the Shack per canon), and we only have the testimony of Sirius and Remus, a decade after his death, to say that he "got better" -- which meant not publicly tormenting Snape, but doing it in private. We never get to see this better version of James.

Sirius and Remus are highly motivated to put James in the best light possible to his orphaned son, which is natural, but it doesn't make it gospel truth. I think he may have become a better person with time, because that typically happens, and certainly he had the capacity for great kindness (befriending Remus) which makes his decisions to be so cruel even more painful. But he died and we never get to see any of him in canon except him being a complete asshole.

So why would you question how people can like Snape when there is so much more canonical evidence that Snape was a good person with serious faults than there is for James being anything other than a school bully who died young?

#severus snape #pro snape #professor severus snape #pro severus snape #The irony of All the Young Dudes written by #David Bowie #A perennial outsider to that point #Who's gender non-conformity was threatening to the establishment #Becoming so strongly associated with a set of characters who are emblematic OF the establishment #To the point that the Google tells me about the BOOK (their word) before the song #When the FANFIC demonizes the canonically gender nonconforming character.#Awful #flames on the side of my face #i don't want to live on this planet anymore

185 notes · View notes

cherry-poppins · 9 months

Text

Don't Go Baking My Heart - (Underswap!Sans X Reader)

I'll bake my feelings into goods Just for you to eat them so I feel understood What do you call sharing sweet treats together A warm kinda love that stays forever

You sit and stare at your phone, the blue light illuminating your face. The clock reads 1:55am. You loved nights, they were so comforting, peaceful, quiet. You could get so much done. Except tonight you were bored. You sigh to yourself, thinking of the options you had to feed your boredom.

You could go to bed and sleep, any normal person would. Get a nice cup of tea, read a good book or put on a movie. Play some white noise as you sarcoma into slumber. But you were too bored for that, you needed something to do. Then the idea of baking struck you, but as much as you'd love to do that by yourself you always found baking more enjoyable when you did it with someone.

Which led you to stare at your phone debating whether or not to call your best friend. He'd be most likely sleeping and you'd feel guilty if you woke him up, knowing how much he valued his sleep. But then again he always said that he was up for anything…. Fuck it.

The phone rang for a few seconds before your favorite skeleton answered, sounding groggy and a little annoyed. "You have three seconds to capture my attention or I'm going back to bed…. Unless you’re dying…. You’re not dying right? or is it a dead body? Stars i always knew this day would come, ok we're going to need-"

He was unfortunately cut off by your laughter, sounding much like a tea kettle as you wiped the tears from your eyes. “Hahahaha I called you and the first thing that comes to your mind is that I'm dying or that there's a body involved? Geez and i thought your brother had a grim sense of humor”

You giggled as you heard him sigh, sensing his disappointment through the screen. You didn’t need to see, knowing he was rolling his eyes at your attempt at humor. “Hardy hahaha, real funny. Wow you’re such a comedian you should have your own show. So did you need help with something or??”

“Oh yeah I was wondering if you’d want to bake with me at my place?” You asked your voice trailing off at the end, now considering if this was a smart move.

There was a pause on the other end of the line before you hear another long sigh. "Do you know what time it is?" Sans asked, sounding more awake now.

“Yeah I’m aware…. But I need something to do and before you say anything I have considered all of the above and more. This could be fun plus I know you have a sweet tooth” Listening to the grumbling of a sleepy skeleton made you use your final straw.

“Come on, don't make me bake by myself Starboy.”

There was a pause before you heard a fit of giggling from him which soon matched your own. “Oh man, you're really pulling the ol’ nickname card. Alright you got me, you make it really hard to say no to you.”

You grinned, silently accepting your victory. "You know you love me, besides this is payback for all the times I had to deal with your last minute antics."

A totally exaggerated gasp comes from Sans. “Unbelievable, that's so not true. You know it's quite hurtful that you’d say- Pft nah I’m just playing with you. You make a fair point but i feel like we have this pact were you deal with my antics and i have to deal with yours”

“Ha, cheers to that, but on another note hurry your bony ass up and get over here!” You yell into the phone, laughing as you hear the broken reply of Sans. Something along the lines of don't yell, it's too early for that shit. Bla bla, think of the neighbors.

Sans then promptly hung up after claiming he’d be about 10 minutes. You waited for a few minutes before throwing him a text, reminding him just in case he fell asleep.... or got side tracked. Which happened often. You didn't mind though, he always made your life a bit more interesting. Kept you on your toes, all though you suppose he could say the same thing about you.

Just as you’re about to text him again you hear a lil “ thwip ” from outside your apartment. Unable to contain your grin you rush to the front door, quick to unlock and open it. “You teleported here?”

Standing in front of you with a slightly embarrassed look on his face stood Sans, wearing a blue flannel and fluffy blue pants with yellow stars. You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself that Sans was half dressed in his Pj’s. Not that there was anything wrong with that, he just usually preaches how put together he is.“Heh yeah, first time for everything ay? Also don't tell Papyrus, I know he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“Pft nah, wouldn't dream of it. Besides I feel like this’ll be good blackmail for the future” You joked as Sans rolled his eyes.

“We little Miss Blackmail, may I come inside?” He asked, leaning against the door frame.

With a large amount of consideration and a pinch of playful sarcastic comments you allowed him to enter. As the two of you walked towards your kitchen Sans asked what you wanted to make. “Heheh… the best i can do is chocolate chips cookies, not that they’re bad. I make a mean batch of cookies.. But unfortunately that's about it” You smile sheepishly as you leant against your fridge.

“Oooo that sounds great, who doesn't love chocolate chip cookies?” He reassured me. “Besides, don’t worry I make a mean batch of cupcakes. We’re freakin’ set”

You smile “alrighty then, let's get baking!”

Ok, the first thing you needed was the ingredients and cooking equipment. You ask Sans to get the mixer and bowls while you get the ingredients. Checking the fridge you scan the shelves for the ingredients you needed, though you were quick to find that you'd need more butter.

"Oh come on…. Hey Sans we need more- Eh, what are you doing?"

You watch as the panic spreads across his face as he gets caught red handed mid eating a handful of chocolate chips. Finishing what was in his mouth he laughs nervously before answering painfully slowly. “Eh… eating the chocolate chips?”

Good grief. You let out a chuckle, informing him that we didn't have enough butter. Only for his response to be eating more choc chips. "Hey!! You eat one more handful of chocolate chips and I'm sending you to the shop to buy more!” Giving him a playful bonk on the head as you jokingly scold him. “Even though technically we have to go anyways because of the butter”

"What shops would be open this time of night?" he asks. Fuck, he did have a point. You groan to yourself not hiding your disappointment, wondering if yall were even gonna be able to do this

Sans thinks for a moment before he snaps his fingers as his eyes light up with literal stars in them. "You know my house would be closer, it was shopping day yesterday. We’d have to be quiet though because papy might be asleep."

“Heck ya! Awww, thank you Sans!!! I really appreciate it” You let out a giggle and a squeal, bringing him in for a crushing hug which was eagerly received.

Despite being late at night ... or too early in the morning the two of you had gotten yourselves into a giggle fit, shushing each other as you attempted to sneak into his apartment. Just when you had thought you were in the clear you were caught by Papyrus with a cup of tea in his hands, although from where he was standing he thought he’d gotten caught by you two. We all stood there silently staring at each other until Papyrus broke the silence.

"Well good morning to you too" he said, giving a sleepy smile, giving you a small wave.

"Technically the human hasn't slept" he giggles along with you, playfully rolling his eyes as you wave back.

Papyrus chuckles at that, leaning against a wall. "Huh, well that makes two of us.” He says before taking a sip of his tea, only to nearly choke on the sip as Sans gasps realizing he had in fact been caught red handed.

"Papy you promised you'd sleep tonight, this is the third night in a row. You can't keep taking naps throughout the day, it's not healthy." Sans crossed his arms and huffs.

Papyrus sighs and shrugs at his older brother. "yeah, yeah i know but i finally have the motivation to get shit done and i'm taking full advantage of it. My book isn't gonna write itself ya know"

"You write those words papyrus!!" You encouraged him, throwing some finger guns.

The two brothers giggle at your silly attempt at encouragement. With that the two of you are left in the dark hallway, the faint smell of fresh coffee filled the cold air. Gathering the ingredients you'd need quickly and quietly you were back to your apartment within half an hour.

“Alrighty we got the remaining ingredients, we got our recipes and the oven is set to preheat” You say, looking at your fully prepared counter top. You look over at Sans and dramatically point at him, acting like a gameshow host. “You know what time it is Starboy?!”

Sans smirked, flipping up the collar of his flannel before stroking a pose. “Time to get baking!”

You get back and start baking the cookies and teach sans. While the cookies are baking he teaches you.... Then there was an incident with the flour. you don't get these messes when baking cookies. you both decorate the cupcakes and ice them.

You first taught Sans how to make your chocolate chips cookies, showing him the measurements, how to make it properly, and that a lil vanilla extract goes a long way and makes things taste so much better. Apparently he didn’t know that you have to mix all the wet and dry ingredients separately before mixing them all together. He then taught you how to make his cupcakes… There was an incident with the flour… and the blue food coloring… And somehow there's yellow star sprinkles everywhere?!

You don’t get these messes when baking cookies, or at least not when you do them. Regardless you had fun, chasing him across the kitchen with an icing covered spatula. Though he did get you baking with a cup full of flour, miscalculating his teleporting jump and ending up crashing on you… with the cup of flour. Now you could say you and Sans were matching colours.

By the time you both were done the sun was starting to rise. The kitchen was a mess, you had cupcakes and cookies for days. and you both were covered in flour, icing and sprinkles. You both laid against the pantry door, watching the sun spill across the dining room table and across the floor. Sans checks the time before giggling to himself. "Heh usually i go out for my morning jog by now."

The realization finally sunk in, you had kept him up with you for the entire night till dawn, inconveniencing his own routine. “I'm sorry that i've kept you up.... i just thought…." Your spirling thoughts got cut off with Sans handing you a cupcake. The icing was by no means perfect. The icing was kinda uneven and the sprinkles were all decorated on one side but taking a bit of the baking delight it tasted delicious.

"Don't sweat it, I love baking with you" he smiled at you sweetly, thanking you as you reached over and handing him one of your own baking delights.

He takes a bite of your chocolate chip cookies and absolute melts, success! That's what happens when you spend years perfecting a single recipe!! Now only if you could put the same effort into your other recipes, or perhaps even your studies?

“Mmm definitely worth it” Sans praised as he indulged in the cookie.

“So worth it” you reply, finishing off the rest of the cupcake, wiping whatever frosting stuck to your face. You turn to Sans before asking “You wanna get cleaned up, get in some comfy clothes and nap all day?”

Sans whined a bit, letting his head hit the cupboard door behind him with a thunk. "Ugh you're starting to sound like my brother.... but i might have to take you up on that. It sounds nice… perhaps Papyrus is on to something with that napping of his”

#undertale #underswap #underswap papyrus #x reader #underswap oneshot #underswap imagines #us sans #underswap sans #underswap sans x reader #underswap sans oneshot #underswap sans headcannons #underswap sans imagines #sans undertale #sans x reader

31 notes · View notes

tommstic · 9 months

Text

Being trans in the south

Hey all! I’ve finally accepted myself, and I think that now is a perfect time to share my story. This post will contain transphobic language, descriptions of dysphoria, and other possibly triggering things. I think it’s important to read just to get a look into the life of a trans kid in the south, but if it makes you uncomfortable, please skip if you need!

I live in the southern area of the USA. It’s not really a secret, I talk about my state and the whether pretty often so it’s not like I’m trying to hide who I am. Because of that, I feel comfortable sharing this story with some more personal details.

I live in South Carolina. The state is no stranger to anti-lgbtq+ corruption in the local government and in the citizens. SC is one of the states which has currently banned LGBTQ+ topics to be taught under the umbrella of sex ed. With this info, you can probably infer what life as an lgbtq+ teen is like in the dead centre of a red state.

I realised I was trans during late 2019 - early 2020 (my memory is fuzzy due to unrelated matters, so sorry if the timeline feels fuzzy sometimes). I decided to identify as bigender at the time. I only came out to my close friends, and that was after months of being scared they wouldn’t accept me. Of course, they accepted me, being lgbtq+ themselves.

Later on, somehow, word began to spread that I was trans and people at school began to ask me questions about it. It was scary. I remember being so anxious every time someone would come up and talk to me during that time because I was afraid they would harass, hurt, or judge me because of my identity. And naturally, whenever someone would ask, I would tell them I wasn’t trans and they’d heard wrong. It felt weird to act like I was “the victim of gossip” when in reality it was true. I was trans, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Time passes, blah blah, unimportant nonsense. Nothing really significant to my identity happens, I still identified as bigender. I was trying to accept myself more by being more public with my identity. I wanted to believe that the south wasn’t as hateful as the media portrayed it, so I was public about my identity online and would tell people I was trans if they asked. My first instance of experiencing genuine transphobia was when I was banned from my friend’s house by their dad due to me being trans.

I felt so sick that night and I cried so so much- I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that my identity had gotten me banned from seeing them again. I felt like I was the problem.

Then I entered my freshman year. I started wearing pins on my ID because I wanted to try again. Plus, I assumed that if I was in a public space I’d be safe. I wasn’t entirely wrong, but in some instances it didn’t exactly work out.

There were certain classes where I took off my trans pin from my ID. Mostly classes overrun by country kids and openly trans/homophobic people. I would put the pin in a small pocket in my bag and wear my ID as normal.

One day I did the same as usual, putting my pin away, and I noticed this kid looking at me weird. We leave the classroom and when we come back to pack up I check my bag and the zipper is opened and the pin is gone. Now I’m not completely sure it was him, but someone stole my pin and I know it wasn’t out of jealousy. There was a sticky note with a shitty cross drawn onto it. Losing the pin sucked, especially considering the motive, but it was the least of my problems.

People from my school would occasionally send me DMs via Instagram telling me I need God and how I’m disgusting. I was even threatened a few times, which was sadly no surprise. I’ve always prided myself on not taking cyber bullying seriously when it’s aimed towards me. I don’t typically let it affect me. But when you’re already surrounded by an environment that seems to absolutely hate you, having your online spaces being invaded the same way hurts like hell.

During the same class I mentioned earlier, I was called slurs both to my face and behind my back. Two kids were talking saying that “the class had been ruined by the tr*nnies,” while nodding in my direction. Another kid had asked me straight up if I was a tr*nnie.

It was around this time that I felt like giving up on my identity. I still felt sick looking in the mirror and looking at my body. I still hated everything remotely feminine about myself. I still hated being a girl but I decided that it was just easier to suppress my identity and go back to being “normal.”

In other words, being told that Id never be a real man was the straw that broke the camels back.

I still mentioned being trans in passing when I was talking with my friends, but generally I kept it a secret. During this time, I began to feel even worse about myself. I considered suicide because I felt like I would never be a real man. I felt like I wouldn’t ever be able to free myself from this prison that I had built for myself by rejecting my identity. It was shitty and it felt awful. I kept holding on to any piece of femininity I could find in myself because of how much I started to hate the idea of being trans. I hated it so much I just wanted to stay “normal.”

I relapsed. The only other trans friend I had at the time was a fucking enabler who I should have cut off forever ago, so it just got worse. I started doing stupid shit that I can’t even say on here for my own safety. It was bad, it put me in danger, and it was disgusting.

I began to calm myself down after a few months of not thinking about it and I decided to wade back into the waters of my trans identity by identifying as genderless. I just thought “hey, if I don’t have a gender, then there’s no reason to feel dysphoria right? I’m just me.”

Yea well no surprises here, it didn’t work. Another year of suppressing my real identity and I still hadn’t learned anything. I suppressed my identity for 3, almost 4, years because I was so scared of who I really was. I suffered from so much internalised transphobia for the past years due to the environment I grew up in. It changed how I perceived myself for the worst, and in the end, it didn’t stop me from being trans.

I have VERY recently come to accept my identity. I’m a boy. I’m FtM and that’s okay!! I wanted so bad to be able to hang on to my cisgender identity that it made me feel miserable for years. Finally I can really say that I’m trans and proud. I feel like I actually fit my identity and I no longer feel like I’m faking anything. It feels so freeing-

However, now that I’ve finally let go of my internal transphobia, I still have to face that of the world around me. I’m anxious to be public about my identity, I’m anxious to even come out to my parents (AGAIN.) because of what they might think.

I know there’s people out there who’ve had it worse than me, and that scares me the most. To imagine that there’s people struggling with the same issues as I am but with genuine violence in their lives, it’s worrying. As a country and as a society we have to understand that our views on young lgbtq+ members is crucial to how they view themselves. We’re just kids, we shouldn’t have to “toughen up” because we’re being told to shoot ourselves. We shouldn’t be getting told all these terrible things in the first place.

It’s fucking awful and I don’t think people have a real understanding of how passive transphobia affects people in the real world. There are dead trans kids because of this. There are dead queer kids because of this. It’s not easy to be surrounded by hate no matter where you look. I was lucky enough to have my friends as a support but not every kid has that. We gotta fucking fix this, it’s hurting innocent kids who just want to figure themselves out.

This was longer than I expected,, I tried to keep everything very linear. This isn’t a sob story or whatever, I just want to raise awareness for kids in the south because what I experienced was honestly so mild compared to what some other people I know have gone through. If you made it to the end, that’s awesome because I would’ve gotten tired by now Hah- thank you so much for reading-

if you’re of legal age to vote PLEASE do research on who you’re voting for because our leaders, local or National, determine the future of this country.

#tommstic #transmasc #transgender #trans man #trans issues #trans inclusion #transisbeautiful #transphobes #pls spread awareness and share ur own stories if you’re also a trans southerner!!#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbtq rights #lgbtq community #gender dysphoria #tw dysphoria #tw sucidal ideation #tw selfhate #internalized queerphobia #trans

11 notes · View notes

ffffffftw · 10 months

Text

this film is a masterpiece. it really made me cry watching the whole film. it made me realize a lot of things and taught a very enlightening lesson in life. i really admire mi-so and ha-eun friendship or bond. since they were a kid and especially when they grow up. tho there's something happened in their friendship ( bcs of that guy haha kidding ) it didn't make their friendship to break. plus, what makes their friendship so special is the unwavering support and understanding they provide for one another. despite of their own personal struggles and differences, mi-so and ha-eun are always there for each other, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. they provide a safe space where they can be vulnerable and authentic, without fear of judgment or rejection. we witness the ups and downs of their lives, including heartbreak, career setbacks, and personal growth. butt through it all, their friendship remains a constant source of strength and solace. they celebrate each other's successes, console each other during difficult times, and push each other to become better versions of themselves. their friendship also highlights the importance of acceptance and forgiveness. mi-so and ha-eun have their fair share of disagreements and misunderstandings, but they always find a way to reconcile and move forward. they understand that friendships, like any relationship, require effort and compromise. their friendship showcases the power of unconditional love and support. they accept each other for who they are, flaws and all, and provide a safe haven where they can be their authentic selves. it would be really nice to have someone in our life that will always have our back and this film basically showed us that a soulmate can take any form in your life. it doesn't have to be your lover and in this case ( in the film ) it is a friend who know every single truth about the you, it's a someone who knows how to handle you, it's someone who make you feel seen and will always choose to stay with you no matter what. their portrayal shows that even the two person needed to go, to grow and live their lives separately, it doesn't mean knowing and loving that person less, but always being there for that person. plus i love ha-eun so much. i admire how she manage to be calm she is in every situation tho deep inside it makes her feel shjt. and how she act like naive but she actually know the whole truth, it's just that she just keep silent or she just keep it all to herself. and i somehow see myself on her, it's probably bcs she's kind of introverted and reserved, often unsure of herself and her abilities. just like her, i sometimes doubt my own worth or abilities nd i find it difficult to fully embrace my own potential. just like her, we both want to be like mi-so who manage to be free and wild, to do what ever she want. but anw, her character throughout the film is really inspiring since she learn how to overcome her insecurities and find her own path. it's just that it pains me so much when she died at the age of “27” haha. but as the core of this film, their bonds reminds me of the importance of having someone who understands us deeply and stands by our side, no matter what. their friendship serves as a reminder to cherish and nurture the relationships that bring joy, comfort, and understanding into our lives. this made me realize how many adventures i will go on before actually settling into adult life. the way mi-so did and the way ha-eun could if her life didn't end so unfortunately. the future is a actually scary but this is the reality of life and because of this film, i came to realize that if i truly believed in myself and is not afraid of what's to come in my life then it will definitely turn out to be an amazing story just like this one ( i hope ) or just make things more interesting i guess. and lastly, their bond as they are artist and the way that they draw each other especially when ha-eun draw mi-so is the unforgettable scene in the movie.

the acting and the cinematography is 💯

2 notes · View notes

siconetribal · 2 years

Text

The Science of Worth (Part 4)

Tags: @vbecker10 @huntress-artemiss

Pairing: Loki x Y/N

Warning: Fluff and humor

Author Note: I hope you enjoy this next part!

Were things totally fine, no. However, they were not “not fine” either. The provided room was larger than the apartment they shared, with ample furniture and storage space. There were no unwanted quadrupedal creatures scurrying along the corners, gnawing into their unsealed food, nor were there cracks and holes in the structure which let air leak in the hot or cold. Overall, the living space was an upgrade that was a dream come true.

It was the sleeping situation that was the greatest concern. Why? Because it did not add up. Almost every night she would get comfortable alone on the large sofa, which was as wide as a twin mattress, and every morning she would wake up in the king bed with Loki right beside her. The first morning she woke up beside him, she nearly died from fright from seeing such a handsome face so close to her. The second morning, she fell out of the bed because they were so close to one edge. The third time she was back to square one because it had not occurred for some time. This on-off pattern had been going on for weeks now and she needed to know the reason.

There has to be a reason. It just makes no sense! Y/N let out a sigh of frustration as she fell back into the cushions of the sofa. Loki was off in some meeting with the others, but that hardly mattered. “Not like he’s been any help,” she muttered to herself. “He just laughs at me and tells me that I should just give up and sleep in the bed with him. How the hell am I supposed to just up and sleep in the same bed as him?! This isn’t some novel where we’re stuck in a room with one bed-well, yes, there’s only one but not the point! We have a perfectly large and comfy couch!” She grabbed a pillow and pressed it onto her face and let out a muffle cry of frustration. Stupid Asgardian pretty boy prince, probably has more than enough experience getting comfy with all sorts of beautiful women…females…whatever they’re called up there! Plus, the point isn’t where I sleep! The point is how and why do I end up somewhere else! I’ve never sleepwalked a day in my life!

Seconds ticked by as she lay slumped on the couch. Suddenly, she sat straight up and nearly fell over as she used the moment to grab her phone off the coffee table. “I nearly forgot! I set up my phone to record myself and bought the silly looking nightlight!” She pressed her thumb to the screen once, twice, and thrice it failed to accept her fingerprint. With her frustration growing, she swiped up and drew the pattern. “Ah, ha!” She let out a cry of triumph before tapping and swiping until she reached the gallery and found the video. “Aaaaand play,” she tapped the icon and watched, skipping ahead here and there when it looked like nothing was happening. When she noticed she was gone from the frame, she backtracked slowly until she was back in the screen, but so was something else…someone else. Loki, why you little luxurious mountain goat! Her eye twitched as she watched him lift her with ease from the comfort of her spot and not only did he carry her away, he even paused and winked at the camera. “You truly are as false as hell!” She shouted out in frustration. “Here I’m thinking I’m having a breakdown, and he is the reason behind all of it! Oh, it is on !”

Loki came back into his room after a rather dull day of meetings, meetings, and more meetings. With new intel pointing them in the right direction, things were set into motion and the time to deploy was nearing. On days with no meetings, he was actively working to better his chemistry with the team that he would be joining on this mission through training exercises and practicing formations to better. Attending meetings and training were not foreign to him as a former prince of Asgard. In fact, he was pleasantly surprised how easily he fell back into such routine. What irked him was the shrinking time spent with Y/N. Back on Asgard, there was no one waiting for him to return. There were no friends of his own to relax with, it was just him and himself. There were times he would be with Thor and his group of comrades, but they were never truly his friends. He was simply the younger brother that had to be allowed to join them. With Y/N, he finally had someone for himself.

My very own dear friend and personal toy to play and tease to my heart’s content. The corners of his lips curled up at the mere thought of her puffed red cheeks of frustration. What is the name of that rodent she showed me? Chip-monks or something like that? She looks exactly like those with their faces stuffed with food when she gets upset with me. She complains a lot, but seldom does she try to stop me. He chuckled to himself. “Now, where would she be at this hour?” He glanced at the clock and was surprised. “Midnight already? She must be asleep.” He frowned, walking around the sofa to see her laying on her back with a book on her chest.

“Of course she’s reading,” he rolled his eyes and smiled at the heartwarming sight. Carefully, he moved the table aside to give himself more room and first plucked the book off of her stomach. “Magnetism,” he raised a brow at the title and quickly located the summary. “Indispensable text on the science of magnetism…invaluable source of data…?” He skimmed through the paragraph before glancing down towards her. “Why are you reading a book on science? She can’t have gone through all her books, right? Don’t tell me you’re growing an interest with that annoying Stark, that simply won’t do, love.” He dogeared the page she was one and placed the book on the table before carefully lifting her up into his arms. “Are you spending time with Stark?” He whispered, not expecting an answer from the sleeping woman, but nearly laughed aloud when her face scrunched into a show of great distaste at the name. “You are so spoiled, you know that? But whose fault is that?”

Loki carefully laid her on the bed and sat beside her, gently combing his fingers through her hair, watching as the silky threads slipped away with each stroke of his hand. Though he wanted to spend some time with her awake, he had not the heart to wake her. She looked so innocent and peaceful that it melted away the stress of his day in an instant. When she stirred a little in her sleep, he froze and waited, hoping he had not disturbed her. Seeing her scoot closer to him and settle back into the depths of her dream, he smiled and continued carding his fingers through her hair.

“You told me once that most women dream of being a princess from the faerie tales you’ve shared with me. What was that one with the cleaning? Cinderella, I believe you called it.” He softly whispered, not expecting an answer from her but hoped that perhaps his voice would help keep her asleep. “I know I mocked them and told you they were ridiculous and meaningless tales, but in truth I felt similar to her in some ways. My mother was not a bad person, she sincerely loved and cared for me but she was guilty of hiding the truth from me. My father was different, he was a ruthless and calculating ruler that only wanted and cared for things that were of use to him and on his terms.” His voice slowly withered away as he thought back to his childhood, the lies he was raised in, and how he was never truly accepted as a son because he was a tool. A relic meant for the treasury. His once bright world had been torn and dipped in darkness, hatred, and confusion until he was released from the poisoning effects of the Mind Stone.

“Unknowingly along the way,” he pulled himself from those spiraling memories. “I met prince charming. I didn’t even realize it at first. Someone who was as strong and beautiful as the prince had come into my life. Always smiling and facing everything even when they are afraid. So vibrant and full of life, seeing kindness in everything…to the point it is a fault. That person, that prince charming, is you. I’ve always wanted to tell you that…I’ve been bewitched from the beginning, and I was too foolish to realize it. However, I don’t believe in faerie godmother's with magic that runs out at the stroke of midnight. I will make this spell last forever. I want to protect you and save your smile. That’s why I agreed to join my brother and the Avengers. Not for Midgard and the people that inhabit it, but for you who’s cursed me with such happiness. I know I will be gone for unknown lengths of times and you will worry, but know that I’ll always return to you.” He leaned over her, his face inches from hers as he eyed her lips. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to know what they felt like against his and how they tasted, but not now. No, when he finally did kiss her, she needed to be awake so he could enjoy the heat that would blossom on her cheeks as she struggled to contain her emotions. Pressing his lips to her forehead, he wished her goodnight and made his way to the bathroom to wash away the day before joining her on the bed.

23 notes · View notes

undergroundbillions · 2 years

Text

Content warning off the bat for themes of death, grief, and a brief mention of suicide.

I’ve finally put my finger on why I feel a little hurt when people say that Gibson’s Raggedy Ann is too dark for kids. And not some of the darker more disturbing imagery - like the slaughterhouse and the noose, those are a little more specific to the audience you’re aiming for - but the whole plot. Marcella being sick and dying, her mother leaving for another man and possibly committing suicide, her pets dying, those sorts of things. The narrative that it was the script’s darkness that was the whole issue the whole time, and any revival would need to drastically change it.

And this isn’t a callout, people genuinely mean well and they aren’t naive or wrong for feeling this way. I’m just taking the chance to share my experience.

I don’t think those are too dark of concepts for kids to be exposed to. Because there are kids who have been exposed to that level of grief, and if not yet then everyone will at some point in their lives. Gibson set off to write a fairy tale in the style of the Brother’s Grimm, a fairy tale’s purpose is to teach and it’s clear Gibson wanted to teach his younger audience something about the world. That it can be depressing and traumatic but you can find light and hope and found family. And he wasn’t the only one, there’s a tendency to pile on Gibson for every dark aspect of the show but Snyder supported him and Raposo even wanted a show with more depth than the movie, which is clear with the 1983 script being reportedly darker in tone as well.

Gibson couldn’t shake the idea that he was dying, that we all are, constantly, and he’s not alone in that. And for those of us who can’t help but think about it, a show that embraces that, that accepts it instead of pushing it away, and shows that hope can be found regardless, is more comforting than depressing. When you’re already there, it doesn’t bring you down it just rests comfortably next to you.

And for those whose personal experiences make the show hit too close to home in a traumatic way, that experience is valid too. It’s not for everyone, but I think there are more people out there that it could help, given proper content warnings for those who would wish to avoid it.

I know it’s not easy to dig through Gibson’s journals to splice out his specific intent, and that’s another essay, but even without knowing all of that I do know that there are multiple people in this endeavor who have had similar experiences to me, who have found the show comforting in a similar way, and that for them - for myself - I wouldn’t dare take that out of its revival.

More below the break, but I wanted to give a content warning first. For more death, family death, and illness. Plus, it’s going to get a little personal so I wanted to preface this by saying please don’t feel like you have to carry my trauma or reach out to me. For you it’s just a thing that happened to someone you don't know, and by all means if it's too much for you then please feel free to skip this one.

-Brooklyn <3

So when I talk about depressing and traumatic things happening to kids Marcella’s age, I’m talking about my own mom; who was in and out of the hospital and ICU all my life until she died January 2021, a month before I found Rag Dolly. Fate? Maybe, but it was what drew me into the show, even without quite knowing it yet the themes of death and grief comforted me. Soon we had the Harvard files, and I was blown away by the depth and meaning in Gibson’s intent and it only connected with me more. And it helped me, it helped me sort out how I really felt about her death.

I’m drawn to General D. as a character for the same reasons Gibson was compelled to write him, for some of us death is a constant looming presence, around for so long that he’s no longer antagonistic or terrifying. When he’s there all the time you get used to him, and he’s menacing sure but as Gibson wrote General D. initially, he’s not out to get you. I have said my mom was sick so long, I had mourned her all my life so there wasn’t much left to go through when she actually died. She was in the military too, and just like General D. this complicated story of honor and tragedy wraps up into one, it’s what made her sick. Or at least, made it a lot worse.

I know this is long, so I won't reiterate the conclusion I added before the break. I know I haven't mentioned it on the server but that's only because I don't want to bring things down. But thank you for listening, and you can always talk to me about it!

#raggedy ann revival effort #raggedy ann musical #raggedy ann broadway #rag dolly musical

14 notes · View notes

sunflouwerhabit · 2 years

Note

hello !! good day to you !! :)

first, i wanna say that i've read and re-read all your completed fics multiple times and im waiting for write this down to be complete to read it (because im so terrible at waiting through cliffhangers, heh) and i love love LOVE your works so very much. everybody wants you ?? down the line ??? swear to be overdramatic ???? the DRABBLES ????? i love how Healthy relationships are portrayed and i love the tenderness between H and L and i love that you make your side characters so well rounded instead of just being a vent board to the main characters, so, THANK you for writing !!! and uploading your artwork !!!!!

secondly, i was just wondering, are real life healthy relationships (romantic and platonic, plus familial) genuinely that vulnerable and intimate as has been portrayed in the book ? like, there's a scene in the drabbles where H rambles to Elena that he's so happy that he has L and he never thought he'd get to a place where he'd be comfortable with his s/o going to the clubs alone, and that's. he's opening up, and he's actually talking about his feelings, and it's just . so good . and so honest . and i absolutely ADORE that chat .

i have trouble with social interaction and i don't know how much is deemed "socially acceptable" to share so i was wondering if it's realistic to just be so vulnerable . you don't have to answer this at all !! and im /not/ questioning the accuracy of your book, i was just genuinely wondering about real life relationships as im very very (very very very) socially inadept, heh.

sorry for the loooooong rambly ask ! you really don't have to answer if you don't wish to !! and i hope you're having a fabtastic day !! and that you're being kind to yourself :) <3

OH MY GOD HIIIIIIII <3 i am so, so sorry i did not see this a little earlier, but i am here to answer now :)

so FIRST thank you so so so so much for reading my stories and for those kinds words and just ???? AKLJFSLKJFSDFS ?????? you get sO many bonus points for mentioning everybody wants you :'))) (i forget about her sometimes, so you officially know my stories better than i do sdjfsfsdj). i am so happy you love them and that you reread them and i hope you enjoy write this down tooooo (she's FINALLY uploaded in her entirety! i also never read WIP because i am so impatient sdjkfsjlfj). getting to develop my characters and their stories (especially the side characters ?? they're so fun??) is such an incredible joy for me. i love world building so, so much :') for me, the most important thing in writing love stories is my need to feel like- if i were the reader- i would be rooting for the characters to be in a relationship and that i would want them to work out. putting myself in that mindset made developing healthy relationships easier, especially between louis and harry <3

and i also love, love, love that question? it's not one i've ever been asked and this answer will be a little long, but i hope it helps! :')

i completely understand what you mean because i am also NOT always great in navigating personal, intimate relationships (i'm a capricorn, so by natURE my typical response is bottling everything up and then making myself sick as i overthink every little detail), but over the past few years, i've met new people and made friends who showed me how much beauty there is in just being honest and communicating my needs and my hurt. i like to try to be as honest as possible because it spares people guessing games. i am an overthinker and if someone i'm close to words something in a certain way, or if they say something with a bit of a colder tone, i can spiral very, very, VERY easily and worry that they're angry or that i upset them. but i tend to find that my mental health and my outlook on relationships (and friendships) is much better when i'm close with people who i can have difficult conversations with without it feeling like the relationship is going to end or suffer irreparable damage

that being said, relationships are also really really really hard and none of them are perfect because humans aren't perfect. in speaking directly about harry and elena (i am SO happy you mentioned them they are MY BABIES), i can imagine myself being that open with two of my sisters (i have four), because i trust them with my life and i know they trust me, too. but, even so, we weren't always at that point and all three of us had a lot of growing up to do before we got to that point. in the context of harry and elena, they are the only two children in the styles household and it's implied that they were really all each other had growing up, which definitely aids in their closeness (but they're also not always perfect either, and that's okay :) in the pre-DTL story, they did have a massive argument about harry's relationship with vince that resulted in harry not going home for the holidays and (though i haven't written out that argument yet, i can definitely say neither of them were LISTENING as well as they could have been). we can try our very best to be honest and to approach disagreements well, but we're all flawed and the people we love are flawed, so. i think with that vulnerability, we also need to learn a lot about forgiveness, toooo <3

so i think, in writing harry and louis in down the line as vulnerably as i did, it was me describing what i think a relationship at its very best looks like- it's one where you can be vulnerable and direct in your relationship, and you can also frame these conversations in a way that isn't an attack on either one, but rather a discussion that is like, "here is an issue we have and here is how it makes me feel, how can WE fix it?". i don't think that's easy, and louis and harry had to go through over 300k words of development (counting the drabbles!) to get to that point where they are that level of comfortable with each other <3 i also like to think about the scene in chapter eight of DTL, where harry gives louis the silent treatment after louis mentions maybe not returning to cleveland, and the way louis (calmly and without lashing out) makes them talk about it. they both discuss their points of view and it doesn't escalate and it's just a mature look into a really, really good relationship :) it's that point i hope to get to in all of my friendships and relationships, which is a work in progress (not to trauma dump on the main bUT i didn't grow up in a household where feelings were openly discussed or healthy conversations were facilitated after arguments, and now that i have people in my life who have showed me better approaches to vulnerability, i feel happier)

SO, LONG ANSWER SHORT I AM SO SORRY I AM RAMBLING, in my mind, louis and harry's relationship is the ideal and it takes a lot of work, trust, and comfortability to get there. it's definitely not easy, and i don't think i'm necessarily there in a majority of my relationships, but in the ones where i feel that level of comfort, i've found myself a lot happier <333 every relationship and friendship is different and develops differently, but i think we all deserve people in our lives we can be incredibly vulnerable with and know that they care about our point of view <3 in the meantime, we always need to be mindful of how we make others feel and how we can work to understand the people we love as well :-) relationships are always on-going and developing and i think a huge part of them is learning how to grow together :)

this is so long and i am so sorry sfjlslfjsf but i really do hope it helped and answered your question!!! if you ever want to talk more, my dm's are always open! (or if you'd prefer to remain anonymous, i will try my very best to nOT take ages to respond next time :D )

thank you so, so much and i hope you have a great day and are taking care of yourself :)

#asks #down the line #fanfic

2 notes · View notes

angelicatiaga · 3 months

Text

Rest Day Thoughts

“You can make yourself busy, but it won’t save you from your current situation...unless you surrender it all to God.”

2023 was my most depressive year, I must say. Consecutively, I’d pray to the Lord that He takes me away. I don’t want to live anymore. I just don’t see my purpose.

These prayers are ironic because I’m a licensed minister. I am a preacher of the Word of God, but I long to have eternal rest. I am not really a pastor who’s handling a church, but I serve in a very busy church. A church where you’ll be ashamed if you find yourself not working because almost everyone is working.

Alongside that, with all the work inside the church, I wanted to prove myself something. Growing up as an achiever, I don’t want to settle where I am. So, having two degrees (communication and theology), I wanted to become a licensed professional teacher. To do so, I enrolled in the continuing education program for a Bachelor of Education. It’s not really time-consuming, but the burden of reviewing for the examination exhausts me. I am a little bit pressured, to be honest. Thoughts like “What if I won’t be able to pass? ""Will I become a failure? ""Yuck, a cum laude, but not a board exam passer." Thoughts like that creep into me and keep me awake ‘til the middle of the night.

A licensed minister and a student. But guess what? I added another one. With the degree I’m holding, I’m blessed to be given the opportunity to share my knowledge with the students of the Bible College here as a part-time faculty member. I honestly thought that I’d be teaching only for one semester, but the second semester came, and still, here I am. I really didn’t dream of becoming a teacher (again, an irony of the course I’m taking), but I love being with children; that’s why I accepted the challenge to be so. Office work, plus unnecessary comments (from the church members and our pastor, who is my brother), plus studying lessons, plus meeting deadlines, exhausted me.

So, to lessen those pains, I entered another workload that is in line with my passion: video editing. KC, one of my friends in college, introduced me to OnlineJob.ph. It’s a platform for workers who like to work from the comfort of their homes. While in the middle of creating an account, one of the leaders in the church offered me an opportunity to edit his vlogs, with a corresponding compensation, of course. So, to cut a long story short, I didn’t pursue that online job, but instead, I edited videos, which of course helped me to actually save up for our Thailand trip.

So, that’s it! I am an office worker, a licensed minister, a student, a part-time teacher, and a video editor all at once. But after working all these tiring jobs, I am not financially stable. Just barely surviving, well, at least.

At least.

I pay for my brother’s tuition and sometimes give him his allowance. Paying for my own tuition and allotting myself gas and food allowances. Maintaining “farm things” and food for chickens. EVERYTHING TOOK THE JOY OUT OF MY HEART. I wanted to rest, literally and figuratively.

During our BYB2024 Day 3 session, I was praying to the Lord to take away those thoughts and that He would heal me of all the things that caused me pain. I didn’t walk in front; I just stayed in my place, at the back, on my chair, sitting down. Guess what? Someone whom I never knew came to me and said, “Can I pray for you?” Without hesitation, I said yes. All the words I needed were uttered, and I knew it was the Lord. “The words you have been hearing are all lies. It’s the work of Satan to destroy you. But God loves you, and He wants you to be healed. You can make yourself busy, but it won’t save you from your current situation unless you surrender it all to God. God loves you so much.”

All throughout that night, I was crying. Oh, Lord, forgive me for doubting your creation. Forgive me for asking to take out the life you’ve breathed into me. And thank You for saving me from the deepest sinkhole I am in.

Currently, I am still a licensed minister serving in the multimedia, children, and outreach ministries, an office worker, a part-time teacher, a student, and a video editor. I do household chores and farm chores, but they all give me joy. I am enjoying this season I’m currently in, and I hold on to what the Lord spoke to me during our BYB 2024.

"You are not enough, but God is. You are not able, but God is. He will take you out of the box, out of the denomination, out of your current place. He will place you in the lead, but He will lead you. You will lead a nation, but He will be with you. Do not be afraid, do not be anxious, and DO NOT PANIC. He will take everything away from you, but you won’t regret it because it is Him, He will lead you. And while it is not happening yet, wait, watch, and observe.”

0 notes

reigniteyou · 1 year

Text

A Simple Guide to Introverts: How to embrace yourself

It seems like everyone is an extrovert these days. The way we do things has changed drastically and it's easy to feel left out or misunderstood. Thankfully, introverts have never been more accepted than they are right now. In this post, we'll go over the basics of introverts, how to embrace yourself and your needs as an introvert, and ways in which you can be more comfortable in any situation that makes you feel stressed or anxious.

The first step to accepting yourself is identifying your traits

The first step to accepting yourself is identifying your traits. If you don’t know what they are, how will you be able to embrace them? You can start by making a list of your strengths and weaknesses.

The second step is understanding that introversion is not a disorder but rather a personality trait. You might also want to look into Carl Jung’s theory on introversion vs extraversion. This theory states that everyone has both tendencies in their personality; some people lean more towards one than the other (although most people have equal amounts).

Build a community of people you love and trust

When you're feeling like the world is against you, it's important to keep a network of people who know and understand you. You may not want them to be your only support system all the time, but they can help remind you that there's a whole world out there worth living in.

If you don't already have one, consider creating a group chat with some friends who know and accept who you are as an introvert—these people can provide a sense of security for when times get tough. Plus, just knowing that others have similar interests (like playing board games or watching movies on Netflix) can make all the difference in getting through those first few days at college or work when everything feels unfamiliar and scary.

Don't get your energy from big groups of people

As an introvert, you need to recharge your energy from time to time. But if you're not sure how to tell when you're running low, the following signs will help:

● You feel exhausted or drained

● You have difficulty concentrating or focusing on one task at a time

● You feel like your mind is racing, with lots of thoughts going through it at once

Learn when to say no

Saying no is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. You should never feel bad about turning down something that doesn’t make you happy or drains your energy.

Learn when to say no, and know that it’s okay if others are disappointed by your decision. Just remember: You are not responsible for making other people happy, or even keeping them around in your life if they aren't a good fit for who you wish to be.

Say “no thank you” when someone asks if they can borrow something of yours—even if it means saying goodbye forever! If someone wants something from me, I always ask myself: “Is this person worth my time? Is their request beneficial to me? Am I going to get anything out of this relationship? Will our friendship survive once this thing has been returned? If the answer is no… then don't give them what they want!

Be patient with yourself

You can be yourself, and still be a good person. That’s what makes you so special!

Don’t feel like you have to be the life of the party every time you go to one. Being an introvert can help you enjoy parties even more by making it easier for you to talk with people when they approach you rather than having to find them first (or at all). Plus, if someone is approaching you because they want your attention, then that means they must think highly of your company!

Conclusion

The best thing you can do is to accept yourself, and know that it’s okay if you need some extra time. You’re not alone, and introverts are not broken. If this blog has helped you in anyway, please share it with someone else who might benefit from reading it!

If you are feeling stressed and want to better yourself, then why not register for the best online spiritual courses with ReigniteYou. With the ReigniteYou personality development course online you can reinvent yourself into a better version of yourself. So why wait, get in touch and start your journey to betterment.

#best online spiritual courses personality development course online #soft skills training in India soft skills management courses

0 notes

shorkbrian · 3 years

Note

I swear I ain’t in it for the money, but I can’t stop thinking about sugar daddy shoto. Maybe he sweeps a cute little college kid or barista of their feet, just something fun and casual. But this man starts falling harder, needing a way to lock them down to him. Money isn’t quite cutting it anymore, so he decides fucking a baby into her would do the trick. Shoto would push her down into the mattress, large frame twisting her into a sweet mating press. This way they could stay together forever and Shoto would have absolutely no problem providing for his sweet family <3

but fr tho I feel like Shouto is NOT the type for kids.

Mans will tolerate them when they babble or wave at him, but he very actively Does Not Want them.

Always uses condoms, and even though he’ll threaten not to, it’s never a legit thought in his mind to cum inside. Shouto doesn’t want to be a dad.

-----

You’ll be sittin on a park bench, fading sunset dark and pretty in front of you yet all you can do is cry. There’s not really any people around so it’s not like you’re bothering anyone - you hadn’t wanted to cry in your shabby apartment (half the cause of your worries) just in case you received a noise complaint.

“Are you alright?”

A somber, smooth voice is heard. You’re swiping at your tears quickly as you look up, trying to laugh off your state of distress. “Oh, haha, yeah I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” It’s hard to smile with your puffy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.

The man in front of you frowns, hands in his coat pockets, scarf draped around his neck. “You don’t look fine. Mind if I sit?”

He’s already claiming the spot next to you on the bench before you can say a word, turning to you with a passive expression. “Why are you crying?”

And that’s all it takes to have you breaking down all over again, tears streaming down your face. Just one person offering to listen to the heavy burden you have to bear.

‘’M sor-sorry...” You sob, wiping at your eyes with frigid fingers, successful in doing nothing more but smearing tears around your face.

“Here.” The man’s taking off his scarf, gloved hands offering it you.

“I ca-can’t use your sc-scarf sir.” But he’s insistent, pressing it into your hands up by your face.

“I’ll just get another one. Keep it, you’re in need of it more than I am.”

The kindness makes another fresh bout of tears roll down your cheeks, but this time you're able to dab them away with soft fabric as you sniffle.

It takes a moment for you to calm yourself. When you do, you can finally engage in conversation with the man.

You tell him about your job hours getting cut, how you’ve been turned down or ignored by every single place you’ve applied at for a second job. How you’re barely affording to wash your clothes - you have to hang them or drape them across things in your apartment because you don’t have the money to pay for a dryer cycle.

And to top it all off, you’re still short on rent, despite how you scrimped and saved and even forced yourself not to buy groceries this week - you’ve gone hungry for the past three days.

“You haven’t eaten?”

You glance up at the man and his incredulous expression, shaking your head. “I’ve been trying to save money, I thought I could afford my rent if-”

“What kind of food do you like?” The man is pulling out his phone, swiping and tapping immediately.

“Thank you, but I’m not-” looking for charity is what you want to say. Plus, you shouldn’t accept favors from strange men.

But the handsome man is waving you silent. “I’m cold, plus I’d like to grab a bite to eat before I head home. I don’t like eating alone though, you’d honestly be doing me a favor.”

You take a moment to process. Is he telling the truth? He sounds like an honest guy.

“Seems like the only place open around here is “Joe’s 24 hour Diner”.... You mind burgers?”

So that's how you end up in a booth opposite the man (”Shouto” he had told you as you both headed to the diner), munching away at warm food. It tastes so good, you hardly have time to worry about the man watching you as he eats.

You’d been shocked at his looks the moment you’d seen him in the light of the diner. Pretty two-toned hair, different colored eyes, perfect skin, expensive clothes. Why was he even talking to you? It’s obvious the two of you led very different lives.

“How does everything taste?”

“Delicious.” Is your response, and Shouto seems pleased, nodding before taking another bite of his meal.

Maybe it’s stupid... but you feel weirdly safe with this man. He doesn’t seem to bear any ill-intent towards you, nor has he made any comments about your body or let his hands or eyes stray. He seems like a gentleman.

Conversation flows easily between the two of you, even sharing a few chuckles at times. He’s some fancy rich businessman, you learn, and you share about your own life, laughing at the comparisons. Shouto can’t fathom growing up in a house with less than five bedrooms and a personal servant.

He asks for your number, and you’re hesitant in giving it - he surely can’t be interested in you? But he seems so sincere, it’s hard to say no.

When the two of you part ways, Shouto gives you a wave, “Hope to see you again soon, and under better circumstances.”

“You too! And sorry for being such a mess and stopping your walk-”

Shouto shrugs, cheeks beginning to pink from the cold air as you two stand outside the diner. “You needed help. I like to assist.”

-----

The next morning you wake to find an atrociously large sum deposited in your Venmo account by none other than a Shouto Todoroki.

Immediately, you’re calling him. “It’s too much, we just met. How can you give away that much money to some low-life?”

You hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. “You’re obviously struggling. I was wondering what your hours are this week, perhaps we could talk about this over dinner? Or lunch, if that fits better with your schedule. I’m flexible.”

It’s a few days later, days spent questioning yourself, questioning his intentions, before you see him again, both of you deciding to meet for lunch to further discuss... whatever had just happened.

“Was what I gave you adequate to cover your rent?” Are the first words out of Shouto’s mouth after you greet each other.

“Yeah, more than enough-” You squirm. “But I need to ask.... why?”

“Why?”

“Why me.”

“Oh.” Shouto’s expression clears. “That’s easy. I told you a few days ago - I like to assist. I’m quite lonely, and it feels nice to use my money on someone other than myself. I think providing for someone brings me... I wouldn’t quite say joy, but... contentment.”

You contemplate his answer for a moment.

“Well... you saved me with my rent, I don’t really know how to thank you.”

The man leans forward. “Well.... I know it might be a bit sudden, but how would you feel accepting me as a.... benefactor of sorts?”

“You mean like a sugar daddy?” Is your immediate, blurted response. You want to slap yourself for speaking before you have the chance to think about your words, but luckily Shouto just lets out a light laugh.

“If you’d like to call it that. I’m willing to provide financial assistance for you, in exchange for companionship, if you’re willing to give it.”

Your face heats up as you drop your eyes, fidgeting nervously in your seat. “I don’t feel comfortable with a... a sexual relationshi-”

“That’s perfectly acceptable.” Shouto cuts you off before you can continue. “I wasn’t trying to insinuate a contract of that nature. I’m thinking more along the lines of accompanying me at meals, sharing experiences with me, providing company and friendship to a lonely man. If it seems that we’d like to progress further than that after we get to know each other, well, that will be addressed then. For now-” Shouto meets your eye, dipping his head a smidgeon so he can look at you directly. “All I ask for is a simple, non-intimate bond between two people.”

This is crazy.

And yet you accept.

The situation may be wild, and completely absurd, but you’d be a fool not to say yes.

Shouto is charming and handsome, respectful, courteous - you could go on and on about his positive qualities. He just seems like a sad, lonesome man swallowed by work and responsibilities, too stressed and busy to put the effort into making friends the conventional way.

-----

Months pass by.

You’re eating at every meal, sated and never going hungry. You’re able to move into a new place, one that doesn’t smell like cigarettes and sits right next to a railroad.

Clothes aren’t a worry anymore, you have your own washer and dryer in your new apartment (Shouto offered to buy you a house, or a penthouse at the least, but you couldn’t justify it to yourself). You’re able to afford new things, and pretty dresses, shoes that are comfortable and fashionable and that fit.

You no longer have to wear clothes down until they have holes in them. You’re able to go to the doctor’s when you feel sick, able to pay for health insurance.

Life is good.

Shouto is a personable man, serious, but he can be rather funny and even crude at times.

The doubt and thoughts of “Why is he doing this for me?” and “I’m not good enough for this.” plague you, but Shouto always seems to catch on, reassuring you that you’re exactly what he needs - a friend.

And you’re more than happy to be that.

You think sometimes, that even if he wasn’t paying you, you’d still like to be friends with Shouto Todoroki.

Until he starts acting weird.

“You should just stay at my place. I have more than enough room,, it’d be easier for both our schedules. We’d get to see each other more often.”

“Uhm...” You don’t really know what to say. You like your freedom, and having your own place where you can walk around in your (expensive) underwear without being bothered.

“I think it’d be nice, don’t you? We could have breakfast every morning, you wouldn’t have to worry about traveling to and fro, we could spend more time together. We don’t see each other nearly enough.”

He’s pushing, insistent. How are you supposed to tell him no? He’s paying for your entire life. Plus, it wouldn’t be that bad to actually live with him. Shouto’s an amicable man.

So you move in.

“I bought you a few things, they’re on your bed.”

Shouto’s striding into the kitchen where you’re making coffee, buttoning up his shirt as he comes closer. You’ve found that the man likes to sleep in nothing but boxers, shrieking and flushing an embarrassing shade the first time he’d come to wake you up with a sweet “welcome” breakfast in bed.

It’s taken a while to adjust, but you finally feel that you’re fully settled in.

“Oh, you really don’t ha-”

“I wanted to. I went through your closet - your clothes are nice, but your underwear seemed to be lacking.” He’s so matter-of-fact.

All you can do is stare at the back of his head.

“Could you pass me a spoon please?”

-----

Shouto had splurged on expensive, fancy lingerie.

At least eight different sets were laid out on your bed. It was overwhelming. It also felt.... a bit intrusive? They were all in your size, in a complementary color for your skin tone.

Weird.

Not as weird as the onset of Shouto’s casual touches.

You’d be reading, or drinking tea and watching cars race by on the street so far below, and Shouto would come up behind you, caress your sides before intertwining his fingers with yours on one hand. He did it as if it was a normal thing, but it felt anything but normal.

Or you’d be on the couch together, and Shouto would shuffle closer until his large body was pressed to yours, almost curled around you. The faux-cuddling was a bit more off putting. How do you tell him no?

The touches became more and more intimate, Shouto’s gifts more and more frequent until you weren’t even spending a penny, the man taking care of everything.

The arrangement was beginning to make you uncomfortable.

Shouto’s bi-colored eyes seemed to always be on you, tracing the shape of your body, watching you move, or breath, or sit. It was distracting, and you felt bad for feeling this way towards the man who’d pulled you out of poverty, but it was so unnerving.

He seemed to notice.

“You’ve been so stressed these past few days. Is something wrong?” Shouto’s rubbing a hand into your shoulder, hovering over you at the dinner table.

“No?” Is all you can manage, wiping your hands on your napkin as you finish your food.

Shouto frowns. With a sigh, his hand drops from your shoulder and the man leaves your side, heads toward the kitchen.

You clear your plate from the table, following after him so you can wash it and put it in the dishwasher before you head off to get ready for bed.

But Shouto is rummaging in a cupboard, pulling down two wine glasses to accompany the bottle of wine that’s standing proud on the island. It’s your favorite, a sweet wine that Shouto knows you like, always brings it out when he decides to drink whisky or bourbon after dinner.

He pops the cork and pours you a glass while you finish with your dishes, handing you the glass when you turn away from the sink, pressing it into your hands. “Let’s relax a little bit, it’ll be good for both of us.”

You’re fine with that, knowing that a little wine won’t hurt you, especially when it’s of such fine quality. You’d never dreamed that you’d be able to taste such richness in your lifetime, spend frivolous amounts of money on wine and fine eateries. Yet here you are.

Shouto pours himself a glass, barely a sip filling the bottom. The man raises it to his lips and takes a swig, grimacing a bit in his flat, unexpressive way. You giggle a little.

“Too sweet?’

The man nods, setting the glass back down. “I’m not entirely sure how you can stand to stomach it. But if it makes you happy-” He shrugs, before pulling on of the bar-stools out from under the island so he can sit facing you, long legs stretching out before him.

You look at him, and he looks at you, and then you take another sip of wine to avoid the awkwardness.

“You’re distancing yourself from me.”

The accusation is quiet, Shouto’s eyes focused on your fingers wrapped around the stem of the glass.

He’s always been straightforward with his words. “Is there a reason you keep drawing away?”

The wine disappears from your glass, sliding down your throat and settling in your stomach. You fill your glass again before speaking, struggling to find the right words without upsetting your... benefactor.

“Well, Shouto... I don’t really know how to...” You trail off, hoping Shouto will say something, change the subject, say it’s alright and move on to something else.

But the man stays silent, eyes appraising you.

Taking a deep breath, and another gulp of sweetness, you try again.

“Sometimes the closeness... like, physical closeness? Makes me, well, uncomfortable.”

Hopefully, that would satisfy his curiosity for now. That wasn’t the only reason you’d been avoiding Shouto seeming distant, but you didn’t think sharing the others would result in anything good.

Said man accepted your response, dropping his eyes to his lap as he mulled it over. More wine was consumed, glass re-filled. You felt nervous.

“You’re saying that my touch isn’t something you’d prefer.”

Biting your lip, you soften at his confused expression, at the hint of sadness swimming behind his eyes. “Kind of. I don’t mind you Shouto, you’re really kind, and you’re good company, and a wonderful friend. I just don’t think the.... the intimacy is for me.”

Shouto raises his head, stares at you with those pretty eyes, lips parted as he comes to terms with your words.

“It sounds like you don’t trust me. I would never hurt you, you know this.”

You scramble to assure him. “I do! I do trust you, and I know you wouldn’t.” (at least you hoped) “But I guess I just... Coming into this agreement I wasn’t ready for that type of... thing. I don’t know if I ever will be.”

The man rises, shakes his head as he steps closer to you. “Don’t worry, I remember our first conversation about that aspect. I see that for you, that type of relationship would only begin after you really cared for the other person, trusted and wanted to see them happy, am I correct?”

“Oh, Shouto-” You rush. “No, I care for you, and I trust you, and of course I want to see you happy. I think it’s just, y’know, my last relationship like that went really bad, and it sucked. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Shouto nods, understanding. “I see. You don’t have to worry about any of that with me then.”

A smile crosses your face, and you feel relived that he accepted your rejection with grace and understanding instead of violence or anger. “Thank you, it means a lot to me.”

The mood of the room shifted, from tense and uncomfortable, to easy and light, and you poured another glass of wine, laughing a little at how worried you were about the conversation with Shouto, only for it all to turn out fine.

“I’m going to go drink some of the liquor that’s kept in my room. I could mix a few drinks for you to try, you might like how sweet they are. I know hard alcohol isn’t quite your thing.”

You beam a smile, nodding your head eagerly. Before, you’d feel apprehensive about going into his room with him to drink alcohol. But with the conversation the two of you just had, you knew - things would be fine.

-----

The room was spinning and you felt giddy and light. You were definitely tipsy.

“You can lay down on my bed, you’re getting wobbly on your feet.” Shouto had offered, and you’d gladly accepted, flopping down onto his comfy bedspread with a laugh at how the motion made butterflies rise in your tummy.

Shouto leaned against his dresser, swirling whiskey in his glass as he watched you, a half-smile across his face. You smiled back, before closing your eyes, a little bit tired as you realized that you might be a bit more than just tipsy.

Shouto had mixed quite a few drinks for you, and you’d drank each one eagerly, impressed with how little alcohol you could taste in each one. You don’t remember how many you had, but it didn’t really matter.

The next thing you know, hands are on your waist, scooting you further up the bed so your legs no longer hang off the edge. Cracking open an eye, you’re met with the visage of red-and-white, eyes soft and warm as they regard you, Shouto’s face tinged a bit pink from the few drinks he had consumed. The man had never been too good at holding his alcohol.

When those hands started to slip beneath your shirt, you wiggled like a little worm, not really comprehending the situation. Maybe it was a dream.

Your shirt was discarded, then your pants. It felt much more comfortable now, and you mumbled a “thanks” to the man helping you settle for bed. He was so nice, Shouto took such good care of you. You still kind of couldn’t believe the turn your life had taken with him, the good luck pushed into your path.

Someone was kissing you.

With a grunt of surprise, you kissed them back, meeting their feverish pace and trying to keep up, soft lips puckering and pushing against your own with intent. Kissing felt good. You liked kissing.

Then a hand was cupping your face, stroking tenderly over your cheek before it began sliding down, down your neck, into the valley between your breasts, trailing over your bra. It felt funny.

Pushing back for air, you gasped when the hand on your chest started squeezing at you, eyes flying open with the startling, sudden sensation.

Shouto was hovering over you, lips puffy, panting as he stared at you with lusty eyes, an uncharacteristic look on his face. This... this wasn’t supposed to be like this. You knew. Hadn’t the two of you just talked about something... important? Was it important?

You didn’t feel panic until a hand cupped your sex, feeling your skin through your panties.

This wasn’t right.

Alarm bells were ringing, dull and far away, but you didn’t think that Shouto should be touching you in such a way. you should be going to bed.

“Mm, Sho, can you stop?” But your words felt funny on your tongue, and Shouto didn’t stop. Maybe he didn’t hear you.

His hair tickled your chin as the man bent to mouth at your tits, pulling the cups of your bra underneath them so he could feel your hot skin, let his saliva drag slick and wet against your chest.

Your hands instinctively rooted themselves in his hair as you gasped again, not expecting such a move, tugging lightly at his head to pull him up. Shouto just groaned, teething gently at your breasts and not moving an inch. His hips were grinding against the bed though, as he stood between your spread legs.

Before you knew it, your panties were gone, bra clumsily unclasped and discarded, and you were completely bare. Shouto was undressing before you, struggling with the buttons on his shirt before giving up, easily ripping the fabric of his body with one tug, grumbling.

You didn’t feel so tipsy anymore.

“Shouto, what’re we doing? We shouldn’t be doing this, we need to stop-”

“Stay down.” Was his firm command, a hand splayed across your naked chest and pushing you back into the mattress as you tried to sit up. It made you breathless, the growl in his voice, the dominance emanating from the man. You stayed still.

“This’s gonna make us a stronger couple.” The man slurred, eyes dark and hands wandering, effortlessly keeping you pinned against the bed as he ground his hips forward against the edge. You were getting scared.

“Wait-”

You fell silent as one hand pushed down his pants, his underwear going with them, pink cock bobbing free. He was so pretty down there, and it made sense, all of him was pretty, but you suddenly realized the weight of the situation, what was happening.

“Shouto, no, oh my god. We gotta stop right now, we’re drunk, we’re-we’re-”

“Don’t care. Not gonna let you hide away from me this time.” Shouto shook his head, taking his cock in one hand and giving it a long, slow pump, flushed tip weeping precum and wetting his hand.

“No, no, this is wrong. I don’t want this, I could get pregnant!” You cried, beginning to panic for real, pushing against the one strong hand anchoring you to the bed.

Shouto just chuckled, letting go of his cock to crowd against you, getting up in your face to press a wet finger to your lips, the salty taste of his precum threatening to slip into your mouth unless you kept it shut. “Shhh, shh. If you stay nice and still, if you do what I say, I’ll use a condom.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“You’re gonna listen to me, you always do.” The man nodded to himself, once again dragging his cock against the bed between your legs, as if he couldn’t stop himself. “Or else I’ll fuck you raw.” The finger was pulled from your lips, only to be wagged teasingly in your face.

You couldn’t believe how he was acting.

“Be nice.”

Shouto tapped your nose with a neatly manicured finger, before groaning as he heaved himself upright, red cock bobbing against his stomach, desperate for attention. The man gave you a look, as if to say “don’t move” before he took his hands off you, heading for his dresser.

Once you saw him pulling out a strip of condoms, you were on your feet, stumbling toward the door.

Although panic had sobered you somewhat, you were still struggling with the effects of the alcohol, so your reaction time was maddeningly slow. Slow enough that you weren’t able to truly fight against Shouto when he grabbed you from behind toned arms wrapping around your middle and heaving you into the air, only to throw you back on his bed.

You were almost sick on the bedspread, world spinning and stomach protesting, but you were able to calm yourself.

But then Shouto was on you, flipping you onto your back, a soft hand pressing against your throat threateningly.

“You want to have a baby? Want me to cum in you so you’ll get all fat with kids? Hm?” He was so intense, almost choking you, straddling your waist and keeping you pinned. It was too much

You were able to manage a tearful, desperate “No!” despite the hand around your throat, and Shouto backed off, releasing the pressure to instead stroke his hand against the sides of your neck.

“Stop acting like this, it’s the next logical step for us. You said you cared for me, wanna make me happy. This’ll make me happy. I won’t be like the last guy.”

His cock was pressed against your stomach, and you could feel it twitching. Shouto clambered off of you, letting go of your neck so he could grab the condoms he’d tossed on the bed before snatching you up.

“Do what I say and I use these.” He waved them in your face before tearing one off, beginning to open it.

You stayed still, gazing at him blearily, limbs feeling fuzzy, mind feeling the same.

The condom was rolled onto Shouto’s cock, the man spitting into his palm and giving the latex a few rubs to make it slick before reaching for you.

He dragged you to the edge of the bed - the perfect height for him to fuck you - and you didn’t fight, terrified of his threat. You couldn’t stand the thought of a baby.

(You didn’t know, but neither could he)

“Wanted to do this since I met you.” Shouto mumbled, pushing your panties to the side with a few fingers so he could guide his tip to your hole. “Want you so bad.”

You didn’t know what to think of this side of Shouto. This unreserved, uncareful, slurring mess of a man that loomed before you, gaze dark and wild, limbs everywhere as he groped and squeezed and appreciate the shape of your body.

But he must’ve gotten impatient, because then he was pushing inside.

It hurt, stinging pain rippling up your back and you keened, causing Shouto to pause. One of his hands darted down to wrap around your calf, hauling it up on the bed so he could lean forward and press it to you chest, sinking his cock a few inches deeper.

“You’re gonna take it.” He hissed before messily kissing you, pressed so close together that it was hard to breathe. “I’ll make it feel good after you do.”

2K notes · View notes