#Interpersonal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thepeacefulgarden · 8 months

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#rejection sensitive dysphoria #rejection sensitivity #social anxiety #masking #neurodivergent #emotional labor #mindfulness #affirmations #communication #interpersonal #relationships #self compassion #codependency #boundaries #people pleasing #fawning #perfectionism #coping skills #coping

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moonlit-positivity · 2 months

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Honestly, most of healing is just learning how to better communicate and understand not only yourself on a deeper level, but the people around you too. You gotta learn how to talk about the hard shit with the people in your life. Anytime there's a shift, anytime there's a problem, anytime there's an issue, learn how to bring it up. Stop ignoring it, stop assuming they're gonna take your needs into consideration, stop assuming they're gonna know what you need without ever having said it to them. Directly bring it up. The sooner the better.

You feel like your friend is ignoring you? Ask them about it. "Hey, I've noticed you've been a little distant. Is there something on your mind that's bothering you lately?"

You feel like your friend is flirting with you and you're uncomfortable or not sure how to interpret it? Ask them about it. "Hey, I've noticed we kinda flirt a lot and I was wondering if we could talk about that."

Normalize direct communication. Normalize checking in and asking how you both feel about the relationship in itself.

"hey, I just wanted to know, how do you feel about our relationship/friendship/etc? Is there anything bothering you about us lately? Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

"Hey, what are the boundaries for this situation? What are you okay with? What are you not okay with? How do you want us to handle conflict?"

Ask these things up front. It's literally the best thing you could ever do.

Just stop ignoring the big hard things. Yeah it's hard to account for how people react, especially when you've been abused as a kid. But you've GOT to learn how to bring these things up. Do NOT dwell in the unknowns and unspokens. You're trying to piece together a puzzle without having all the pieces that way. If you need clarity, if you need reassurance, ask for it.

And if it's a problem of, "well I don't want to lose them," or "well I don't want to make them mad at me," then spend some time acknowledging that you need more than what they can give you with this. These are the types of wounds that casual relationships and friendships in your life probably won't be able to help you heal from long term, not without you doing some extra work on your own to acknowledge that the notion of never pissing someone off is unrealistic and it's an unhealthy expectation of yourself and those around you. You can't help but loose people, you can't help but piss someone off, yes, eventually it will happen. They're gonna piss you off too at some point. By avoiding this you're staying stuck in a pattern of your trauma, and though you can't help that, neither can the other ppl in your life either. You've got to learn how to navigate these things on a deeper level if you want to have any chance of cultivating real, meaningful, long standing relationships with people.

So find you some ways to cope with the uncomfortable emotions of being seen and known. That's the only way to get stronger with this type of stuff.

🌸

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sidewalkchemistry · 11 months

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#g #inner work #interpersonal #shadow work #self knowledge #self healing #sidewalkchemistry

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cvnfvse · 3 months

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mixed definition of love

#digital collage #journal #love #collage #art journal #digital #coping #interpersonal #friends #2023

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ghostonly · 2 years

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9 times out of 10, if someone accuses you of being ungrateful, it has nothing to do with you showing gratitude wrong and everything to do with them never wanting to help in the first place.

More often than not, "you're ungrateful," is literally just code for one of these:

"I did something for you because I felt obligated to and I now blame you for my past inability to set my own boundaries."

"I did something for you and expected you to do something of equal value for me immediately after, without ever stating that expectation, and you didn't hold up your end of the deal I decided we made."

"I did something for you because I felt morally obligated to and, because the entire situation you're in that caused me to feel that way wasn't immediately resolved by my act of charity, I've decided that you're actually doing this on purpose to extort people's time, energy, and resources."

"I did something for you because I'm a good person and you didn't adequately sing my praises and boost my ego to everyone we know, which is what any normal person would do if they were gifted with my invaluable services."

"I did something for you and expected you to do things for me in return, but your lower class and lack of resources means you have nothing of value to offer me in return, so you're therefore unable to pay your debts for my services, regardless of if you've wasted your time doing things for me that I deem worthless."

"I did something for you and expected this to mean undying loyalty and subservience, but you've dared to disagree with something I said, refuse one of my demands, or treat me as an equal when you needing my help made me superior."

So basically, if someone calls you ungrateful when you've actually put in an effort to show gratitude (like saying Thank You, expressing appreciation, etc.), they were never looking for gratitude to begin with. They're simply using gratitude as a way of making their sour feelings your fault when what they're actually upset about is that their attempt at insincere help didn't gain them anything.

In simpler terms: they're selfish.

People who genuinely care and genuinely want to help don't do so expecting something in return.

If someone wants something in return, they should state that right away, making the entire thing transactional and not an act of help, charity, or assistance.

The same goes for people who say you took advantage of them when you only accepted what was offered.

It is your responsibility, when you offer something (time, energy, money, resources), to make sure that what you're offering is something you actually want to share out of the goodness of your heart.

If you don't put down any boundaries regarding your offered help or resources, it is not the fault of the person you offered them to for not determining your boundaries for you.

#important #social #interpersonal #toxic #abuse mention #emotional abuse mention #manipulation mention #gaslighting mention #abuse recovery #psa #tagging for #disability #adhd #spoonie #actually disabled #disabled #because being disabled leads to this happening a fucking lot

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mbti-sorted · 3 days

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Mining the relationship chart

I was editing the interpersonal tag to update relationship info (many thanks to @infj-zen for her work finding most of these), and figured, why not just compile it all in one post? Here are all the current relationships found as of April 2024:

ESTP

ESTP men end up married to ESFP, ESTJ (ended badly), ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, ENTJ and INTP women.

ESTP women end up married to ESFP, ESFJ, ISTP, ISFP, ISFJ, ENTP (ended badly), ENFP, ENTJ and INTP (ended) men.

ESFP

With a few exceptions, ESFPs date and marry almost every type, including their own.

The exceptions are for ESFP men with ISTP & ENFJ women (ended), INTJ & ENFP women (no examples), and for ESFP women with ENFJ men (no examples) and INTP men (ended).

ESTJ

I have examples of ESTJ men with ESFP, ESFJ, ISFP, ISFJ, INFP and INFJ women.

I have examples of ESTJ women with every type except other ESTJs. The only two types with whom they have not had a successful relationship (that I've found) are ESTP and ISTJ men.

ESFJ

I have examples of ESFJs with ESTP, ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ (not often), ISTP, ISFP, ISTJ, ISFJ, ENFP, ENTJ and ENFJ (ended).

ESFJ women also end up with INTP and INFP men.

ISTP

I have examples of ISTP men in relationships with ESTP, ESFP, ESFJ, ENTP, ENFP, and ENTJ women.

I have examples of ISTP women with ESFP, ESFJ, ENTP, ENFP and ENFJ men. All but the ISTP with the ENFP are no longer together. (Needs more examples!) I believe my sister knows an ISTPx INFP couple.

ISFP

I have examples of ISFP men in relationships with ESTP, ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, ENFP, ENTJ (ended), and INFP women.

I have examples of ISFP women in relationships with ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTP, ISFJ, ENTP, ENTJ, ENFJ, INTP (private), and INFP (ended) men.

ISTJ

I have examples of ISTJ men with ESFP, ESTJ (ended), ESFJ, ISFJ, ENTJ, INFP, INFJ women.

I have examples of ISTJ women with ESTP, ESFP, ESFJ, ISTP, ISFP, ISFJ, ENTP, ENTJ, INTJ, INFJ men.

ISFJ

I have examples of ISFJ men in relationships with every S-type but ISTP and ISFJ women.

I have examples of ISFJ women in relationships with every S-type (save ISFJ), plus ENTP, ENFP and INTP men. Also a private example of one with an INFP man (ended).

ENTP

I have examples of ENTP men married to every type but INTP, INFP and INFJ, although they’ve been known to date both INFP and INFJ. I don’t yet have lasting relationships between ENTP men and STP women, although it certainly does happen.

I have fewer examples for ENTP women, but so far most of them are with ENFP or INTJ men. Also can be found with ESFP, ISTP, or INFJ men.

ENFP

I have examples of ENFP men with every S-type woman but ISFP and ISTJ. The only N-type women they don't end up with are INFP and ENFP.

I have examples of ENFP women with ISTP, and ISFP men, plus every N-type man except ENFP, INTP and INFP.

This one surprises me a bit, so I'm probably lacking in examples.

ENTJ

I have examples of ENTJ women with ESTP, ESFP (yikes!), ESFJ, ISTP, ISFP (ended), ISTJ, ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP and INFJ men.

I have examples of ENTJ men with ESTP, ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ENFP and ENFJ women.

ENFJ

I have examples of ENFJ women with ESFP (ended), ESFJ (ended), ENTP, ENFP, ENTJ, INTP, INFP men.

I have examples of ENFJ men with ESTJ, ESFJ (ended), ISTP (ended), ISFP, ENFP women.

INTP

I have examples of INTP men with ESTP (ended), ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISFP (private example), ISFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ and INTJ women.

I have examples of INTP women in a relationship with ESTP, ESFP and ENFP men. Needs more examples!

INFP

I have examples of INFP women in relationships with ESFP, ESTJ, ISFP (most of them), ISTJ, and ENTP (ended) men.

I have examples of INFP men with ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISFP (ended), ENTJ and ENFJ women. Also one INFJ (ended), one ISFJ (private example - ended), and that one couple my sister knows with the ISTP woman.

INTJ

For men, lasting relationships with ESFP, ESTJ, ISTJ, ENTP, ENFP.

For women, lasting relationships with ENTP, ENFP, INTP.

INFJ

Most INFJs marry STJs, and EFPs. Sometimes an INFJ will date or marry an ENTP. I have met one instance of an INFJ woman with an INFP man (ended).

INFJ men also end up with ENTJs.

*When I say (ended) I mean that I have zero known instances of that relationship working out. I have not marked relationships with (ended) if even one instance of the relationship has worked out.

**If you're wondering about LGBT relationships, they're harder to get good data on as there aren't so many couples where both people have public profiles. So far they're still choosing to pair off with the same people as their straight counterparts (no surprises).

***The sample size for this data is still pretty small, so take all info with a grain of salt!

#not a typing post #interpersonal

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sheviolentlyher · 16 days

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gut me.

#diary #lovers #forever mood #love #self concept #interpersonal #girl interrupted #tumblr diary #diaryposting #personal diary #poetic #writeblr #writing #writers and poets #poetry #poetry blog

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necarion · 5 months

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It's hard to apologize when you're in the wrong, but it's reasonably doable if you're confronted or it happens right then. It's way harder to seek someone out to apologize for something after the fact. And it's hardest to seek someone out to apologize when you're not in the wrong, but the thing you're doing is making them unhappy regardless.

"I'm doing something that is bothering you. I won't stop it completely, but let me know how I can tone it down around you."

And that's super awkward to initiate and harder to open yourself to the criticism that way.

#interpersonal #not describing anything going on atm #just musings

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fluff-writing · 1 year

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Being the oldest, Itherael used to be very protective of all the other angels. This faded as everyone grew and the others surpassed them in martial prowess, but they will still go all Mama Bear over younger angels from time to time. They are also the only one that Imperius will tolerate (and even enjoy) fussing from.

Malthael dual-wields bcuz he watched Tyrael and Inarius spar, and thought Inarius was hot shit. But obviously he needed to be hotter shit, so he convinced Uraleon to invent the weaponized shotel for him to fight with.

Imperius's 'Big Brother' feels skipped Tyrael and Inarius completely and glommed onto Malthael. No one touches the twerpy little wisdom for fear of his Wrath. And man, was he ever a precious nerdlet ripe for bullying when he fell out of the arch.

Inarius also had a bit of brotherly feels for Malthael. Unfortunately, this manifested in affectionate teasing and hassling. And actually teaching him how to dual wield better.

Auriel is closest in age with Imperius, and the two of them have a rather special platonic love-hate type relationship. They argue. They nag each other. They're almost always on opposite sides of the Council debates. They've got each other's backs towards the ends of time.

Tyrael had a severe crush bit of hero worship for Imperius for a while. He definitely was never jealous of Malthael, no sirree.

When he was brand new, Malthael was a little bit afraid of Itherael. He may or may not have hid behind his wings when they first met. Who can blame him though, Itherael was always a little bit larger than life, and their monotone demeanor was hard to interpret for the new angel.

Tyrael adored his little brother Inarius, and would get very upset when the other Archangels excluded him from things. Unfortunately, Inarius was not meant for the council. This is probably what planted the idea of being in control in Inarius's head in the first place; his Big Brother thought he should be, and Tyrael was always right about everything.

#interpersonal #angels #relationships

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whimsidreams · 10 months

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You don't need to put on a show to be liked by others.

You're enough just as you are.

You're enough. 💖

#whimsi posts #inspiration #self esteem #self love #social interaction #interpersonal #this is for me but also for those who need the reminder :)

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thepeacefulgarden · 22 days

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#relationships #interpersonal #family #generational trauma #religious trauma #exvangelical #ex catholic #unhealthy relationships #people pleasing #fawning #codependency #mental health #self respect #self compassion #self care #self love

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moonlit-positivity · 2 months

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"It doesn't matter anyway I guess" yes it does YES IT DOES!!! Your opinions matter!! You matter!!! Sorry the situation sucks and maybe it didn't work out but yes your feelings on it still matter!!!! Take care of them!!!

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sidewalkchemistry · 1 year

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speak from your heart 💗 remind people of their innate beauty and talents

#heart expansive #positivity #holistic health #holistic healing #empowerment #emotional healing #compliments #interpersonal #communication #lovecore #be the light #lightworker #spread love #healthy habits #expressions of gratitude #heart chakra #throat chakra #chakra healing

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will-or-wontxx · 6 months

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Grieving is a weird thing.

But what’s even weirder is how the people around you behave. You can learn a lot about them based on their reactions.

#personal #complex emotions #interpersonal

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zr21designs · 7 months

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This is what freedom looks like T-Shirt

🎽🔗👇

https://www.zazzle.com/z/agd3gxru?rf=238949549545768441

🔸Sold by Zazzle

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aeide-thea · 1 year

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social interaction really is so complex—

like, i left a comment on someone else’s post that was essentially backing up the position taken by a previous commenter, and that commenter subsequently replied to me with a Corroborating Factoid, and i think they maybe-probably meant that as, like, a pat on both our backs about how correct we both were, but because they didn’t include any affirming language in their reply, at first glance it felt to me like, dude, i’m agreeing with you, you don’t need to keep arguing the point at me! and like, then i went and looked at their tumblr and decided it was probably just a difference in communication styles (if i’m agreeing with you i’ll generally open with ‘yeah’ or ‘right’ or some other such tone/position-signaling phrase, not just jump straight into an anecdote, because i value that kind of reassurance about where we stand with each other, and want it established before we get going), although frankly i’m not totally convinced their anecdote constituted especially strong evidence in favor of our mutual point so, you know, you win some you lose some, but it’s just like. jesus. these tiny little totally unconscious signals that determine whether a stranger puts my back up or not! and so many of them have to do with like. are we the same. which i guess is a broadly human instinct honestly but like. also it’s a conservative’s baton. so i think it’s a reaction worth squinting at a little.

anyway. nothing here that people haven’t observed many times before! just like. you know. i preach tolerance and try to practice it but also i totally get impatient with well-meaning strangers who phrase things in ways that don’t feel wholly congenial to me. (as i’m sure some of them get impatient with long-winded too-formal me for the same reason!) and it’s just like. how do you reconcile that. :/ keep picking at it, i guess, and take yr picking back to yr own space instead of getting reactive at ppl. which… at some level i guess that is tolerance: i don’t have to let you befriend me in the public square if i’m not digging it, i just have to nod politely and let you exist there unharassed.

#tbd maybe but just like. thinkin abt ideals and actualities #anyway. imagine adding paragraph breaks in sensible spots. couldn’t be me.#interpersonal #journaling #metatumbling

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