#I never got to have friends like this in my teenage years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sturniluvr · 2 days

Text

show your pride

Nick Sturniolo x bisexual!bsf!reader

word count: 1,069

warnings: swearing, nothing else i don’t think, lmk if there’s anything i missed

requested: yes/no

summary: Nick and his bisexual best friend go to pride together

A/N: this may not be entirely accurate to what a pride parade is like as I’ve never been to one. also sorry if your names are Amelia or Bella😭 also idk if I really like this, feels kinda rushed but whatever.

❗️semi proof read❗️

Y/N and Nick were currently in his bathroom applying face paint to their cheeks, Y/N having the bi flag on both her cheeks and Nick has the gay flag on his. Y/N also had her beaded bracelet on that were the colours of the bi flag, pink, purple and blue. The pair applied some space camp lip balm in the mirror, Y/N using her favourite, juicy watermelon and stashing it in her shorts pocket and Nick doing the same with his own lip balm.

“We look so fucking good girl!” Nick said excitedly, causing a laugh to escape Y/N at his excitement.

“That we do Nicolas!” she replied with a smile on her face. They took a quick mirror selfie before they exited his bathroom and grabbed their flags off his bed and walked out his bedroom, closing the door behind them and made their way downstairs to wait for Matt so he could drop them off at a diner they’d planned to go to before the parade to get something to eat and drink.

Shortly after, Matt Nick and Y/N got in the car, Chris had decided to stay home with Nate as he was visiting LA for the week.

After getting dropped off, they decided to also look in some shops. In one shop Nick found a set of pink cowboy hats.

“Oh my god! Y/N, we have to get these they’re perfect!” Nick exclaimed, she turned around to see what he was holding and as soon as she laid her eyes on the cowboy hats she started nodding her head eagerly, they finished looking round the store and made their way over to the checkout to pay for their items and left the store, immediately putting their hats on, they looked at each other and started laughing.

“We look fucking ridiculous but also so cool.” Nick laughed, she nodded her head in agreement, the pair did look rather silly, but they couldn’t care less, it was pride and there was bound to be some extravagant outfits, from drag queens especially which the best friends were both looking forward to.

half hour later

The parade had begun, Y/N and Nick were walking up the street in the crowd, their heads held high and proud with their respective pride flags wrapped round their necks like capes and their pink cowboy hats on their heads.

Nick felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned to his side and was met with a sweet teenage girl, he smiled at her.

“Hey, is everything okay?” His protective side kicked in slightly seeing the slightly distressed look on the younger girl's face. She nodded hesitantly.

“Yeah, I just can’t seem to find my girlfriend, and I recognised you both, would it be okay if I stuck with you until I find her just so I’m not completely alone, I’ve never been to LA before.”

“Yeah of course you can stay with us sweetheart” Nick replied with a smile, which she returned.

“What’s your name?” Y/N asked the teenage girl “also I love your makeup it’s incredible!” She added on smiling sweetly.

“Thank you! Yours is amazing too. My names Amelia, and my girlfriend’s name is Bella.”

The trio continued to make small talk as they carried on down the street with the parade.

Later on, Amelia had found Bella and the couple decided to stay with Y/N and Nick and the four walked along, singing at the top of their lungs laughing.

Amelia and Bella eventually had to leave Y/N and Nick to find Bella’s mom.

“Before we leave, can we get a photo?” Bella asked, knowing her girlfriend was probably too shy to ask and they were both fans of the triplets and Y/N.

“Of course, let’s take one now before you have to go. Y/N get your hat on woman” nick yelled jokingly at the 19 year old, she jokingly rolled her eyes in response and put her hat on her head, the four took a selfie on Amelia’s phone and the younger teenagers left the pair.

time skip

Y/N and Nick had got to the end of the parade and were now in a field in front of a stage ready for the performances, Y/N was most excited for Reneé Rapp, she had the biggest crush on the singer, and Nick was most excited for her aswel, joking about trying to set Y/N and Reneé up on a date.

Reneé was about to make her way onto the stage and Nick quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and started recording Y/N’s reaction to seeing her celeb crush. Y/N started screaming the second she saw the blonde walk on the stage.

Her first song was Y/N’s favourite ‘pretty girl’ because it resonated with her so much as she had a similar experience with one of her ex friends.

“SO KEEP ON PRETENDING PRETTY GIRL” the duo screamed at the top of their lungs and laughing with each other, Y/N recording on her phone for memories.

Reneé had some a few more songs and there was a few more acts after her and the some speeches from LGBTQ+ groups and representatives, Y/N and Nick cheering in agreement whenever they agreed with something one of them said.

an hour later

The duo had gone to a nearby McDonald’s and got food while waiting on their uber to come pick them up.

“Thank you for today, it’s been amazing Nick” Y/N spoke with a smile on her face as she looked at her best friend of 7 years. He smiled back at her.

“Of course, babes, I always have an amazing time with you, you’re my favourite person, alongside Matt and Chris unfortunately” he joked.

“You love them don’t lie” she spoke sincerely, she loved all three of the boys like brothers ever since she had met them, they all immediately clicked when they had met at the start of high school.

“Yeah, I do, but you’re a lot more tolerable than them two” he laughed, she nodded knowing how much of a handful Matt and Chris could be at times.

They got home later that night, took their makeup and face paint off, got comfy clothes on and Y/N, Nick, Matt and Chris all sat on the couch watching a film with snacks and Y/N ended up stopping the night in Nick’s room with him where they watched RuPaul’s drag race with snacks and Dr Pepper and answering Snapchat replies from fans on Nick’s story.

🏷️: @imwetforyourmom @thenickgirl

101 notes · View notes

fancyfade · 2 days

Text

Post theme going around on LoCG where people say whre they want the batfam members to end up.

I figured I'd share my post (link) here on tumblr b/c I have way more tumblr followers and post many dc thoughts here anyway

original post:

Anyway, where the Batfam members end up in a couple years in my opinion:

Bruce: I honestly think he should retire. Is this ever realistic? No, he makes too much money. But he’s got to be getting what close to 50 by now? He needs to quit before he dies RIP. I’d love to see him trying to do what he can to help the community as Bruce Wayne (which I don’t think he never does as Batman – we see comics involving it. But like more emphasis).

Cass: I view Cass as the logical successor to Bruce. She deserves to be Batman (and wants to be and embodies his ideals very well).

Barbara: I think it’d be neat if Babs (as Oracle) kind of expanded BoP so we have different subgroups… we got a tiny bit of this might be happening at the way tail end of New Earth continuity, with babs faking her and oracle’s deaths to get the heat off and allow herself to dedicate more attention to major operations rather than being everyone’s problem solver, and her training Wendy as a protege… just pick that up. I like Wendy Harris being involved, and I think Helena is a good candidate for an op leader (more on that later)

Helena: Helena should work with a small team of Birds and take on missions that require some convincing undercover work – shout out to both her mob deconstruction plan in Simone’s BOP and her past as a Spyral agent in this continuity. The team should be flexible, but I’d like to see Steph occasionally team up with her… her forgotten-by-continuity adopted son, James, should also help on tech stuff IMO.

Damian: I like the idea of him doing Batman and Robin stuff in Gotham and more globe-trotting stuff on his own, using Maya and Suren and other friends. He also definitely will try to reform any kid/teenage supervillains he comes across, so he should probably fight mostly adults :p

Duke: I think Duke should stay as the Gotham daytime hero, in contact with the kids from We Are Robin, but… get more appearances. Him being in everyday contact with more normal people could be an important storytelling avenue.

Dick: What Dick’s currently doing is fine, no need to change. He’s already got his niche.

Tim: DC doesn’t know what to do with Tim… I think Tim should honestly go into semi-retirement, coming out for big stakes plots and to train younger heroes. In my head this would be after a 12 issue mini series where Tim contemplates how much his life has changed since he started being Robin, with his initial goal that it was going to be something he does his time in and then gets out, out of obligation, and then slowly he had no normal life to get back out to… we’d bring back Dana as a character to bounce thoughts off, as well as the YJ kids especially Cissie who has also retired as a superhero.

Jason: I think what Task Force Z was doing for Jason was perfect, I’d love to see things continue along that line where he like *wants* to do good and to not be the person he used to be, but he sometimes (often) fails… and leading around a team of other equally-or-more corrupt people is fun. That’s as heroic as I feel like Jason should get, if he’s just turned into pretty much another hero it’s like… offbrand nightwing???

#dc comics #batfam #damian wayne #bruce wayne #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #helena bertinelli #tim drake #duke thomas #jason todd #... i have to tag everyone's hero name?#robin #batman #oracle #signal #red hood #huntress

31 notes · View notes

tifa1991 · 18 hours

Text

Hello everyone.

I am a little nervous this is my First time writing something spicy and nsfw. I Hope you still Like it.

His other half

You didn't come from Japan and met Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto and Shoko Leiri during your exchange year when you were about 16. After the year ended, you didn't visit Jujutsu high again until 5 years later because the Higherups had forbidden you from returning until you had finished your own training...and they would have also feared that Suguru would try to get you on his side.

You came back when you were . Even though you never completely lost contact with Gojo, you had the most contact with Shoko, but it only took a few weeks until you and Satoru got to know each other again and it quickly became clear that the crush you had had as teenagers had grown into love. Since then, you tried every year for a few months to get the Higherups to transfer you to Japan "for work".

Now at 27, you and Satoru Gojo had a very special relationship. It was clear to everyone, including you, that you two loved each other, but Satoru refused to have a relationship with you.

He was too worried that something might happen to you if the wrong people found out that you were his biggest weakness. In your opinion, that's total nonsense, because who would be stupid enough to do something to someone who's more than just close friends with the strongest?

You followed Gojo and Yuta towards the Jujutsu High training grounds and into the armory. The weather was sunny and pleasantly warm in your short white dress. While Gojo was explaining something to young Yuta about how he should transfer Rika's curse power into the sword, you discovered a box with daggers and athames that caught your attention. You opened it and leaned forward to take a closer look at an athame. Gojo's gaze wandered briefly over to you and your now much too short dress, which didn't leave much to the imagination. He cleared his throat and turned back to Yuta. "Why don't you just take this sword here and go ahead to the training field to the others?" "But Sensei, I..."

"No buts," Satoru patted Yuta on the shoulder while turning him towards the door. "I'll be with you in five-" he looked at you again as you leaned over the box again, "ten minutes at the latest. Come on, go, hush hush" and practically pushed Yuta out of the armory and closed the door.

Satoru took one of the swords and placed it under the door handle so that the door could no longer be opened from the outside before he went over to you.

You were too busy looking at the decorations on the weapons to hear the whole conversation between Gojo and Yuta and only noticed in passing how the white-haired man threw the newcomer out of the armory.

When you felt Satoru approaching, you stood up again from the box with a new weapon in your hand. "Do you think it was smart to give him a sword right away? Maki will finish him off." You bent down to the box once more and only got a smirk in response, one that sounded far too suspicious.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up and you got goosebumps when you felt Gojo's body close to yours. "Gojo? - huh..." his arms hugged your waist and he leaned over you slightly so that you could feel his breath on your neck.

"It's rare that you wear those short dresses without a pair of short leggings," he breathed. "It's warm and you said I won't have to train with you."

"Right, right," he grinned, his right hand already pushing your dress up a little higher and stroking your leg while his left arm supported you in your bent-over position. "But you know, bent over like that...you don't really leave me much to the imagination." He started to kiss your neck.

"Satoru...is it that time again, eh?" You rolled your eyes in amusement and sucked in air as you received a hard slap on your ass. "What was that for?"

He hummed against your neck and bit you gently while his left hand grabbed your breast. "For rolling your eyes," you felt his hard cock pressing against you in his pants. "What exactly is this supposed to be? Your students are practically next door" he straightened up again and you did the same but at the same moment he pushed you down again with his left hand while his right pulled up your dress and showed your half naked ass. "Don't tell me you don't want this. You always wore these skimpy frilly panties when you wanted something...special from me".

"That's not true, how would you know?"

"You almost always wear them when we fuck" You stayed quiet, your cheeks a cute shade of pink. "Awww look at you so adorable when you get all pink" He kissed your cheek. "Gosh...look at you Sweetheart" He examined your ass while he massaged your buttcheeks "Gonna Take me in so well even though it's been a while don't you?" And you couldn't help but moan as he pressed his thumb against the fabric of your panties against your walls from behind. His grin grew wider as he pressed his thumb against you in circular motions, using his middle finger to do the same. "Look at you, all wet for me already" He smirked licking His Fingers before He pulled your panties down. "Taste so good I need more I gotta prep you a little more cause missed your sweet taste so much" He turned you around to face him before He Kissed you with hunger and lust, your nipples growing harder with every touch of his large hands "Just a light bra today matching with your panties?" He chuckles "still trying to convince me you didn't planned this?" He says pulling your dress and bra down so your tits bounced out.

Satoru's eyes widened under his bandages at the sight and his cock grew even harder and bigger as he massaged your breasts. His tongue played with your right nipple while his left hand pinched your other one. You couldn't help but moan, you could feel your pussy getting wetter and wetter and your pelvis arching against his hard bulge. Of course, your excitement did not go unnoticed by him and he touched you more roughly and his right hand grazed your clit. First He was teasing your clit a little - Torture already at this Point for you, but then He slid His Long Index Finger between your folds Up and down your slit before he went back to your clit. "Sweetheart you're excited aren't you" with these Words he sunk His middlefinger and Index Finger into your dripping cunt and you moaned out loudly.

He was quick and deep inside you, making you arch your back. Hitting your sweet spot with his long fingers just right as he knew you too well. It wasn't the first time you two fucked and not the second time either...aß Said...your relationship was complecated but you Go with it...

Your breathing became heavier and faster, your moans came in shorter and louder intervals. "Don't cum yet...I need to taste you Sweetheart" "Are you kidding me?!" you complained, your body already screaming for release. Hearing your pleading voice gave him a kick and he removed his fingers from you, moaning and licking every drop of your juice from his fingers. He positioned himself on his knees between your legs and spread them further apart. "Gosh I could cum Just by watching your sluty cunt" He Said before sinking his tongue into your slit.

"Fuck" you said, your body shaking with every movement his tongue made. Pushing it into your opening as deep as he could before he let it slide out a little bit only to insert it again at great speed. His tongue wandered over to your clit and sucked on it lustfully, making your head spin. "Fuck you taste so good Sweetheart, your Pussy is sucking my tongue. you're Close aren't you?" he moaned, more a statement than a question and inserted two fingers. "Gojo I'm gonna...?!" He stopped the movements of His tongue the Speed of his Fingers slowed down. "I hate when you call me by my Last Name" you looked so desperatly down to him. "I often call you Gojo and you haven't said anything" "You know that's not what I meant", his fingers stopped now too and you whined. "You know I hate it when you call me by my last name while I am about to fuck you".

"Actually you don't even do that yet" 'pop' "Wrong answer" he licked his fingers and even though you couldn't see his eyes when he looked up at you you knew he was pissed and his look was mischivious.

"I'm...I'm sorry Satoru. Please" your hips pushed forward towards him. He grinned wickedly and inserted two fingers with increasing speed "Come on sweetheart you can do better than that" his breath tickled your pulsating clit and you swore you would lose your mind if he didn't finally make you cum. "I am sorry. I need you. I need you so bad Toru!" He smirked "good girl thats more like it" and then he sank his face into your pussy and sucked and licked it like he would starve otherwise. Your hips moved to the rhythm of his fingers and you moaned. Your back arched and your head fell back. You started to see stars as he gripped your thighs tighter to hold you in place. "I'm cumming toru! I'm gonna...I'm gonna...fuck toru!" and you came, hard on His Fingers which He quickly slid out and replaced with his tongue to drink every drop of your juices.

Your legs were shaking as you came down from your high, Satoru still licking you Up, His hands keeping you steadys before He stood Up to you Kissing your cheek while unzipping His pants. "Are you okay, doll?" You were breathing heavily, your face flushed and slightly sweaty. You didn't answer his cheeky question but instead grabbed his newly released cock, the tip of which was already red and dripping. You started to stroke it while your other hand pulled him closer to you by His Neck. "Turn around" He say but before you could react he had already turned you around and pushed you forward. He smeared his precum on your wet walls to tease you before he thrust forcefully which made you moan, louder than before. "S... Satoru" you yellped while His thrusts got Harder with each movement. "I'm sure we've been in here for more than ten minutes. Your students will get suspicious...ah...oh...ugh..." "I don't care. You were so loud, they heard you all the way to the square anyway." "What?!" He chuckles while He smacked your ass. "I'm only kidding...they probably don't know." Liar.

Gojo's rhythm became sloppy, the pace harder and his breathing heavier, overlapping with moans. "Gosh doll, I told you you gonna Take me so well, you always do y/n ugh...argh" his movements slowed and he pushed his cock hard into you as he creamed your walls white. warm and sticky you could feel His cum inside you. "Fuck Darling...I really needed that" he slid carefully out of you and you turned to him as he pulled a tissue out of his jacket pocket. You raised an eyebrow. "what? gotta make sure my girl is clean up now" "you know that won't do much with how much you let out? and where are my panties anyway?" you asked, pulling your dress up properly while Gojo wiped His cum from your inner thighs and held up your panties before putting them on. "there you Go" He smiled Kissing your cheeks, your Neck, the tip of your nose and softly your lips.

He pampered you with gentle, loving kisses all over your face. You had to smile, but you hated it... you hated how close you were, how much this was an act of love and care... how he showed how much he loved you... only to then " Not want" to be with you... it broke your heart again and again, but Satoru healed it just as quickly each time.

"You didn't cum a secound time right?"

"No".

"Well i guess i should make it Up to you later. How about we get Out for Dinner tonight, eat some Sushi and then i Bring you Home to your Apartment and-..."

"-we will see. Tell the others I'm coming. I'm just going to the bathroom." You held his face in your hands and gave him a gentle kiss too before you left the armory and everything was as before... as if nothing had happened.

#jjk x you #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n

24 notes · View notes

bird-inacage · 3 days

Text

Love Sea: Mahasamut the Teenage Runaway

Okaaaay, so we just got another titbit of information that would align with the theory I posted the other day [on the presence/absence of family ties] in Love Sea.

The following profile says "I'm just a normal island boy whose living hand to mouth... I've been doing it since I was 15 years old. I got into a fight with my Dad, so I ran away from home and never went back."

I was absolutely right, Mut doesn't have any family around him. And something tells me his backstory is going to break my heart.

I'm sure we'll get some further context as to why he was driven to such measures. Either the fight itself or his home life had to be pretty dire for a teenager to choose struggling on their own as the better option they had at the time.

Something I do want to emphasise is that in a relationship where there is considerable financial disparity, you have to think about the mindset of someone who has always struggled to make ends meet, and how this informs their decision-making. Money equals survival. You don't turn it down. You don't have the luxury to. (Sidenote: This is one of the issues I had with how people criticised Sand in Only Friends for taking Ray's Father's money initially).

Sometimes people who have been through hardship themselves are even more likely to ensure they right the wrongs of their parents, or pay kindness forward - the type of grace they were not afforded but wish they had experienced. It speaks volumes about Mut as a person actually. He probably did have to rely on the generosity of people around him at first to get by. He understands just how invaluable it is to help others in need.

Tongrak, please protect this sweet boy 😭

#love sea #love sea the series #mahasamut #rakmut #tongrak x mahasamut #fort thitipong #fortpeat #love sea meta #no novel spoilers pls!#GOD this is going to make me cry isn't it??#tongrak is going to realise he got him all wrong #and get fiercely protective because that's what mut deserves

22 notes · View notes

devils-little-sista · 6 months

Text

One of the most frustrating and confusing parts of life is when I start to do something for closure and then realizing this closure may do more to harm me than heal me like I hoped it would.

#looking through my moms old school year books #reading all the messages her friends wrote her and learning more about her and her actual personality outside of being a mom #every day I wish I got to know her for real. I wish she could have been herself forever. I wish i could’ve really learned who she is #instead of reading past memos for someone who is now a shadow of a person #this hurts more than I thought it would #I just wanted to learn more about my mom #she had so many good friends and they had so many nice things to write in her year books #also a reminder that I never got to have school year books #I never got to have friends like this in my teenage years #a reminder of how lonely I was and how awful high school was for me #but I’m glad my mom had fun back then #I’m sure she misses these friends sometimes #and I’m sure they miss her #I wonder if they’ve ever tried to get in contact with her and came up with static and wondered what happened to her #how many middle and high school reunions would my mom have been invited to if she actually got to live her life #this isn’t fair #this isn’t fair to anybody involved #I wish my mom was still here to tell me about all these people and stories

3 notes · View notes

jikigo · 24 days

Text

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up #don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon #outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years!#Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid #shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the #entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking #ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so #thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck #And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me #There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder #everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend #“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when #you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn #At least someone wants to talk to me #Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others #promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life #Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting #What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something #It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you #Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn #Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place #And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject #Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like #Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me #It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn #I fucking hate everything

2 notes · View notes

daz4i · 9 months

Text

i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,

#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better #and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day #despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level #again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know #and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am #other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more #(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍#vent #negative //#ask to tag #sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months #(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere #i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers #and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too #but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little #i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that

10 notes · View notes

the-punforgiven · 11 months

Text

Man, sometimes you just look back on a younger version of yourself and something specific you loved so much with your whole heart and see how excited and passionate and full of love you were and just have that moment of "God, I wish life hadn't ground that passion into dust"

#I was SUCH a dedicated musician back when I was in high school #I was SO excited I loved playing music I wanted to be in a band SO fucking bad #and then I just like #never got to be #I had one other friend who wanted to be in a band but his heart was never really in it #not like mine was #we never even managed to write one song together #not like fully at least #eventually he stopped caring and quit #and the other like two musicians I knew didn't have any interest in it either #that passion kept going unsatisfied #I started to internalize that nobody gave a shit #and over time that fire just kinda died out #I miss it tbh #I miss the love I had and the music I used to play #I miss all those years ago where all I had was love of the instrument #and didn't feel like I wasted my teenage years on a hobby that wouldn't amount to anything #I miss when I'd see my guitars and smile #rather than look on in pity at a neglected mass of wood and metal #a machine of infinite potential never realized #just gathering dust in the corner of my room #pun's text posts

9 notes · View notes

angerygoomba · 4 months

Text

is it weird that i dont wanna change my pfp—even though ive had countless moments where ive seen something, thought to myself "this would make an amazing pfp" or "i really wanna make this my pfp" and then like seconds later lose the desire as i remember my relationship to my pfp and how everything about my online persona from the past 5 years would change—and im okay with that?

#like im trying not to be sound entitled to being unique and special #but it feels so much like the opposite of what a normal person would do #like i get a lot of urges of wanting to have another pfp to the point where i have a photo album of potential pfps #change bot contacts pfps to see what they would look like #and even had an old discord account that i would change pfps so that i could express myself in that way #and its not like i feel forced to keep this goomb persona up or anything #i genuinely feel so connected to it #especially since half of my teenage years were spent online due to quarantine #and i got to dissociate from my actual physical self (even though at the time i didnt realise i was doing that)#cheesy it may sound but this just IS my online identity and to change that just feels unnatural #but i still naturally get urges to see what its like to have a different pfp #and honestly i love the system i have cause if i didnt have this i would probably change my pfp every day #so what im doing right now is basically perfect for me since i actually do have a solid online identity #it could also be because i tied my username to my pfp and therefore would have to change my username when changing my pfp #and thats really where the root of the persona comes from #because it makes no sense to tell my real life friends my username is angerygoomba if i have some random ass pfp in conjunction with that #but i will maybe never change my username because i absolutely love how it looks and feels to say #especially goomb #cause that just feels so natural to say that im surprised its not a word #or even a common username at that #also my nd ass will have to find a completely unique username without _ or . cheating cause i cant stand how they look #like it isnt transferable to the english language to have underscores or dots or dashes or whatever in a name #but whateva #goomb thot

3 notes · View notes

girl6000 · 5 months

Text

i just saved u guys from reading the most tmi post in the world u dont know how good uve got it with me

#p #and i was just saying shit for the sake of talking but anyway #and u know what as im typing this!! i will not be censored here goes #i was talking about how i realized im bi a few months ago when i went my entire teenage life thinking i was a lesbian #but now recently and by recently i mean since june/july #ive come to the conclusion that actually the reason i even believed to not be attracted to men was bc i went on birth control at 13 #and at 13 i was still kinda on the fence of if i would ever like men or not. but bc of hormonal developments that are influenced by bc #i feel like i never actually developed any sort of teenie desire to explore sexuality which would probably have been healthy #and so i decided that i probably liked girls only bc i never had a crush on anyone or liked anyone but i did know that i enjoyed spending #time with girl friends and i guess bc they were m #my friend group nd i felt safe with them i could then develop crushes on them #and i never had any guy friends to do that with and since any kind of hormonal teenie sexuality developments were stunted it never occured #to me that i could like guys too #and what im getting to is that since i got off birth control this year i started finding random people attractive #and feeling like i actually would like to have a relationship or whatever #but i could be overanalyzing and be completely wrong about this #anyway so i guess ur not being spared but at least its in the tags now #if ur still reading this i have feelings for you #and actually i do believe going off bc was the best thing i could have done my depression has halved and i have close to no migraine attacks #i feel better in every way and im so so glad i dont have to take it anymore #if u think about it its kinda fucked up that they put children on that shit for the crime of havin acne

4 notes · View notes

crvstybowlofcereal · 1 year

Text

this is a really specific vent(?) post. im processing things by putting them in words. its not serious, feel free to ignore me lol

i just want to say that a couple years ago when i was in the beginning stages of researching autism (and would soon realize i am most likely autistic) i was in a relationship. and communication in a relationship is So Very important to me. I would constantly ask how he was (obviously it was more specific to whatever situation was going on) and he would always say he was fine. If I had even the Slightest hint that he wasn't actually Fine (like 19 times out of 20) i would continue asking if he was sure and if he wanted to talk, and he continued to say he was fine. half the time i assumed he meant it and i read the situation wrong, the other half of the time i assumed he didn't want to talk about it.

he ended up breaking up with me because i

"didn't pick up on some things"

"what kind of things?" i asked

"idk, just, things."

and he had been talking to my friend (U) about our relationship, and telling her that i wasn't picking up on things. she got mad at me and we had a "fight" for a short time, she thought i was being a bad partner, and her sister (M) (who is toxic and possessive) felt like i wasn't spending enough time with her, so she complained about it to their mom, who got mad at U for it for some reason? so U also brought all that up, telling me M felt left out. (i wasn't leaving M out of anything, i was sitting with my partner at lunch half of the time, she was welcome to join, but didnt, looking back i think M has RSD and maybe i should have been more direct when moving to a new location to explicitly invite her) (U was also not in school at the time due to covid, so its not like i was spending more time with her over M, which is something M would get so upset about if she perceived it to be that way [she was incredibly possessive of me as a friend and the extent of it made me feel like an object tbh])

U never brought up the issues my partner talked about, because that's how we are, we don't make it known someone was venting to us, to respect their privacy, but it fueled her emotions during our "argument" so i really only heard her being mad at me for not including M, (which i later learned is because M's emotions were made to be her problem when they shouldn't have, this has been a running problem so it wasnt that surprising to learn) so i started spending more time with M, but it was school, and i had work, so schedules only allowed so much time, and any time I was with M (lunch and one class) was when i was also with my partner, but i had other classes with him so i assumed it was fine, but he started drifting away (also around a time i attempted to communicate something important about our relationship, which ended up making him uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything about it until we had a conversation after breaking up)

i was stuck in a place where i felt like no one around me communicated how they felt and still expected me to understand them and do what they wanted me to do

U and i recently reflected on this and realized my ex was a shitty communicator (he and his next partner also broke up because he didn't say how he felt and expected them [also most likely autistic] to... just kinda know ig?) and that she should have gotten my side of the story (she had no idea i was frequently checking on him and trying to get him to talk to me)

and that she wasnt actually upset at me about M, she was upset that people were making it her problem, and she was especially upset during this reflection to learn that M was not being left out at all, she was just doing That Thing again where she wanted me to be Her friend and Only Her friend.

U AND I ARE NOT MAD AT EACH OTHER FOR ANY OF THIS, I WAS NEVER MAD AT U AND U WAS ONLY MAD ABOUT HER PERCEPTION OF THE SITUATION, AND ONLY FOR A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME, EVERYTHING IS FINE

so basically i went like a year and a half thinking that people were rightfully mad at me and i was too self absorbed to pay attention to other peoples' emotions and i started learning how to read people again (clearly my body language research from middle school wasn't cutting it anymore) only for me to realize i just need people to be a little more direct that allistic people typically are, and those specific people were just being dogshit at communicating, (even for allistic people, relative to my needs)

anyways highschool post-covid was Really Fucking Weird and socially stressful for me

TL;DR reflecting on my communication needs not only not being met, but being far undershot for even a "normal" persons needs and how i was convinced I was the problem because of circumstances

#U and i are best friends and have been for 7 years now #U and M are twins #M and i barely talk anymore now that she has Other Friends (grateful tbh)#i know i previously brought up having an ex bf with messy hair and eyeshadow. this ex was Not Him #(my identity as a lesbian was shakey in highschool- i was figuring things out)#(i had several “girlfriends” in middle school (all lasting less than a week after the first because religious guilt))#(but in highschool i had two separate boyfriends and zero girlfriends)#oh god my first ex is such a fucking story but thats for another time #also the ex in this post was like. REALLY fucking obsessed with spiderman #it was great frfr #but it made anything spiderman related super weird for me for a like a year after the breakup #he broke up with me On our 7 month anniversary like right after school got out for summer #the next school year was awkward bc he was in one of my year long classes and we had a LOT of mutual friends #he also started dating his next partner like a week or two after breaking up with me #i was also pushing down ALL my emotions at this time so when i finally Let Myself Feel Things a couple months later i played Good 4 U a LOT #17 was a fucking weird year for me frfr #honestly ALL of my teenage years have been rough and i have never actually let myself acknowledge that before This Moment #and that feels really weird to say because im technically still a teenager #this post ended up way fucking longer than i thought it was gonna be #(also going back to the middle school “relationships” ive sorta-almost-dated a good handful of people #but i only consider 3 people to actually be “exes”)

7 notes · View notes