#I love using my brain
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the man at the grocery store
yesterday? I saw something I didnt like. ugly vibes. I felt repelled and self conscious. my kid threw. ketchup bottle behind the cereal. I told him. he was so angry and aggravated.
was it because I was with my husband?
it gave me so much perspective. I think I will go out of my way to the other store from now on. I dont why I kept teasing myself for mental stimulation, but I remember that the ego shares my body. I don't think I ever let my ego take over, but that sounds like something the go would say.
anyways. I think I'm right on track. I think he is obsessed with me, and that is self talking. the observer talking. was he treating me badly because he wished to be leading me around the store instead?
it doesn't matter. I didn't expect that outcome, which is okay, it was more of a glimpse of his truth. I don't want o judge him for it, nor do I want to be tippy toeing around the grocery store either. was unnecessary break in my peace of mind.
man my face hit the floor. lol I was like whaaaatttt? thheeeeee? fuuucccckkk? it really sent my mind into a chaotic storm of connections. questions that were easier for me to answer and close the tab on. it made me not want anything to do with him. that is until the next time I'm thirsty for blood. god, I know myself too well. I will break. I always do. does that mean my life is so peaceful my instinct is to fuck it up? is that our animal nature? is that the collateral damage of being human?
now I know why the most creative artists realized they were the muse, and that they would have to spend the rest of their lives dwelling in their own hell.
watching yourself be perceived as if you were watching the rain. fall. fall. fall. fall. and that in itself is art. perception is creation. I hate that I make images of people. I want to see translucently. spending time erasing, only to reimagine. do you know how much brain power is takes to do this? to think? I feel like a sacrifice my entire body everyday to my mind. all its energy goes to it. and then sometimes my body is left unattended for to long. touch brings me back into my body, and my mind is a palace once again.
I dance alone in the sunlight. like I always have. just like any woman has. crying and smiling. smiling and crying. crying and smiling. because this is where I'm happy. and I hate that I only realize this after a distant journey, but this is the only viable way to create life.
this morning was. interesting. ive been up since four thirty a.m. talking to myself non stop. always inside my head. because why fucking not? what are you going to do? walking around and let technology give you s modern day lobotomy? hahahaha.
don't lose the ability to think, gain the ability to create.
go be great today.
-x
#diary#I am my own creator#divine mind#I love using my brain#diaryposting#writeblr#thoughts into the void#girl interrupted#writing#free writing#feels#poetic
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C'MON TO THE THEATER!
I love these guys so much. forget NRC, I want to attend their terrible disaster school for disaster children that might actually be plastered on top of the smoking remains of an actively sinking ship. I may or may not actually learn anything, but I will have the time of my life.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#unique magic posters#so it was fellow after all and not gidel? whoops#i was merely overthinking it#me? overthink fictional characters? surely not#god though#i can't not love a guy who gets the cutest most adorable power#and instantly goes 'i shall use this for Crimes'#also every time he was like 逃げる! my brain auto-translated it as CHEESE IT!#accompanied by twst's running-away sound effect which is just the quintessential sound of someone cheesing it#if i could have (1) twst spinoff it would be the adventures of these two idiots trying to do an education#they would have a stodgy bureaucrat antagonist who keeps trying to catch them in their sleazy corner-cutting ways and shut them down#(OF COURSE there would be a bit where they are trying to host an unforgettable luncheon but egads! their roast is ruined!)#and all while they're trying to evade being hunted down by the playful land investors#the hijinks would be SO wacky you guys#i've made myself sad now because this will never exist#it's real in my HEART
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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Falin has been nearsighted since she was little, and has a habit of squinting when she's looking at things.
—Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible
she should have been at the optometrist's
(ID in alt text)
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#marcille donato#laios touden#doodles#mine#falin's closed eyes canonically just being squinting is one of the funniest word of god additions to a story ever#noticing how she started keeping them open post-rez n being like ''wow that's such a cool way to introduce a disconnect between the falin w#heard of n the falin we're meeting now. i wonder how this plays into the dragon thing'' and it's just. it's just. She Can See Now#i do think if she ever did get glasses they'd be no use bc she doesn't like wearing them. marcille has to wrestle them onto her face#after wrestling them out of laios's hands#protip: they're in their flashback designs bc that chapter is burned into my brain permanently. laimar one-sided enemies to besties +#farcille cheek-pinching as a love language 5ever
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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I will never be over Leo’s 4D chess play in “Many Unhappy Returns”. Like, just in general it is a spectacle to see this character who we’ve seen goofing around time and time again, who’s only sometimes decided to take things seriously, only to show him making a maneuver like that.
And here’s what gets me the most about his plan against Big Mama: he comes up with it on the spot. The second he sees that Big Mama has the solution they need, he’s already in game mode.
It is so satisfying watching the episode back when you realize his plan, because he literally sets the stage entirely for a decisive victory. He sees that the champion is a kraken, and comes up with both the solution to defeating it and a reasonable excuse to get that solution into the battle with them on the fly:
“Like your champ aaand those six guys. In fact, we don’t want this over too quickly. You should armor up those rookies. The whole shebang. Especially with these pointy helmets.”
And this is why giving him teleportation powers is perfect, too. He analyzes the battlefield and makes use of all the assets, moving pieces around to guarantee a win. It is honestly so impressive to witness and one of my favorite parts of his character.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#many unhappy returns#Leo is SO GOOD AT THIS PLEASE#he can be a dumb dumb but when he uses his brain he is AMAZING#I love him so much#dude has the equivalent of Fire Emblem Awakening Robin’s “see the whole battlefield” ability frfr#all of this while not letting on his real plan at ALL#please he’s so good oh my god#and this imo is why he grows into the worlds best ninja#because subterfuge is one of the main abilities one should have as one#and Leo is SO GOOD AT SUBTERFUGE#*eyes Lair Games intently*#side note too but he does a bit of it in the movie as well#‘I missed on purpose’#it’s small but he had to make sure the Kraang didn’t suspect a thing and he SUCCEEDED#GOD I love??? this boy?????#he’s genuinely so insanely well written and has so much depth I could rant for days man#subterfuge as well so sooooo much fun to witness in action ESPECIALLY WHEN WE THE AUDIENCE IS ALSO MISLED AAA#SOMEONE MENTIONED IT IN THE TAGS TOO BUT YEAH ALSO HE HAD COMPLETE FAITH IN THE REST OF HIS FAMILY TOO#he knows them to a T and was able to accurately predict where they would be by the time he made it back to them#like that’s insane he’s so big brained and deliberately goofy about it I love him#his number one flaw is not letting his team in on his plans and that’s so interesting to me#we see it so clearly in the movie#he CAN accomplish things on his own honestly!!#he’s actually really good at it!#BUT it’s not about him - and not letting his family in on his plans can and does cause collateral damage to them#‘I’m nothing without them’ and ‘it’s not about me’ go hand in hand and can either work off each other for the better or for the Worse#could also go in on how his issues with letting his team in are constantly brought up over the series and how it ISNT just a one way street
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The plan was set and the game had begun.
There was a meeting on the Watchtower exactly three days after the Bat Clan had decided to mess with the Justice League, so that's when they planned to set everything in motion.
Robin couldn't be at the meeting because it fell during school hours, so Nightwing had come to the meeting with Batman. He'd already had the day off, so it wasn't too much of a hasel. Red Hood and Red Robin had both wanted to come, but they also had civilian duties to take care of.
When the meeting was over, the 'main leaguers', as many others had dubbed them, stayed behind as they always did. Normally, it was just so they all could catch up, sometimes to arrange another meeting, or even to discuss more sensitive topics.
This time, when everyone but Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, The Flash, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Cyborg, and Nightwing had left the room, Nightwing threw his arm across Batman's shoulders and said "You all should come to the Cave!"
All conversation stopped as everyone turned to look at the black and blue clad vigilante. For a long moment, no one spoke or moved. Then, Batman nodded.
"Perfect!" Nightwing's smile got even bigger.
"Um," Superman, the sweet midwesterner, flicked his eyes over to Batman's face before looking at Nightwing. "Are you sure? Bat's has never let any of us into Gotham, let alone the Bat Cave."
Nightwing winked at the hero, his domino mask not hiding it, "Yeah, well, me and the others managed to wear him down. Besides, we've all wanted to give you guys a tour! We've been to all your secret hideouts, so we figured it's about time you saw ours!"
"I'm sorry," Green Lantern raised his hand slightly, "'Others'?"
Nightwing blinked, his smile dropping. Batman straightened up. "Did you-" Nightwing cut himself off, "You do know how many of us there are in Gotham, right?"
The heroes all looked at one another. Sure, they'd heard that there was two, maybe three, working with Batman, but nothing had ever been confirmed aside from Robin working with Batman and Nightwing working in Bludhaven.
Batman fought very hard to keep a smirk off his face. Nightwing didn't even try to hide his amusement.
Wonder Woman was the one to ask, "There are rumors, but I can't say any of us know exactly how many heroes work within Gotham City limits."
Nightwing and Batman shared a glance. This added so much more to their game. They had to tell the others! This was already so much fun, but it was about to get so much better!
"Then, I guess you all have no choice but to come to the Cave with us so you can meet everyone!" Nightwing exclaimed.
The eight heroes shared looks with one another before looking back at Batman and Nightwing. Their choice was obvious to the two Bats before the group had even decided.
"Alright," Aquaman said, "When would you like us to stop by?"
Right on script. Batman said, "Meet here tomorrow at fifteen-hundred New Jersey time. We'll be here to bring you down to the Cave." Then, he left, Nightwing trailing behind him.
"Cool," Flash nodded, "Cool, cool. Totally not nerve wracking at all."
Cyborg stood from his seat. "Don't be nervous, Flash. We're actually being allowed in Gotham. Batman doesn't let anyone in Gotham."
"No," Green Arrow said, "He doesn't let anyone operate in Gotham. I've been many times."
"As Green Arrow or as a civilian?"
He fell silent and the others all laughed. He joined them.
"Regardless," Martian Manhunter said, "I think it's good he's allowing us to see his main base of operations."
"Yeah," agreed Superman, "I wonder what it'll be like."
Wonder Woman was the next to stand from her seat. "It will be quite the tour, I'm sure."
Part 2 Part 4
#batman#dc#dcu#dc comics#justice league#the batman#nightwing#Batman is dramatic and I will die on this hill#pranks#they're a family of detectives#of course they'll use their powers for good!#occasionally#only when it suits their tastes#i love the idea of the jl not knowing how many vigilanties work within gotham#it makes my brain go burr#this one was a bit short#but the last bit of set up was important#and i work a 15 hour starting a 4am...#yes i'm using the 24 hour clock for this#i use it for most of my stories#i'm gonna go now
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ive gotten rlly into ice hockey recently! i like goalies best. they are. friend shaped
ref images and process vid under cut! <3
#mine#cats#nhl#marc andre fleury#seeing as . i used him as a ref#goalies are kitties!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in my opinion#i bought sm new brushes and finally found a line art brush i can stand. who knew it was possible#anyway this drawing took years off my life#digital art ??? me??#i took one look at th gear n was like yeh im. im not drawing that#i love tracing its like a brother to me#anyway i have made a new routine for myself when i took a hiatus n i can now say it is working Extremely well for me#it is . not normal routine but it is making my brain happy yes yes yes yes
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emperor undying, john gaius
#sometimes you gotta move on from a piece of art and out the nest it goes like a baby bird. anyways#tlt#the locked tomb#john gaius#my art#i love using references i love turning my brain off to draw love wins
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This show gives me so much to think about omggggg
Kuro Neko....... 😃cat walker.....
I drew him with his hair loose for two of the doodles because it gave me trouble when it was tied back shhhhh
Also??? The weird little stray pieces of hair that just kinda float around where his hair parts??? I had to simplify them, I couldn't figure them out 😭
#i know messing with his hairstyle alters the symbolism just a tad but 😃#it was a lot more fun to draw it this way#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug fanart#ml kuro neko#cat walker#chat noir#adrien agreste#i love him so much#i honestly just love drawing the cats of the show#they are all so fun#I have a lot more art i want to do!#with like. meaning and feelings and stuff#but id have to use my brain for that 🧍#my art <3
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dont ever call the sus guy at 3am...
#deltarune#kris dreemurr#vessel deltarune#kris deltarune#queue are lovely#i fucked up the bg persepective bc i refused to use a ref so this was all from my very small minature brain but pickers cant be choosers#i dont know what that phrase means#but it was still fun yays#game means so myuch to meees#MY BRAIN BEGGARS CANT BE CHOOSERS .
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happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!
thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!
I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)
I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!
also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...
...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me#but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual#he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly#supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type#because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that#it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead#and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever#(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks#i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair#(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)
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When the light is too blinding, I'll be your shade / When the dark enshrouds all, I'll be your eyes
#hellp people of tumblr dot com whp are either surprised or used to my rapid fandom switching#hey uh. um. yeah. anyway.#i love them i don have anything else to add#ffxiv has altered my brain chemistry thats it. yeah.#ryne waters#< thats canon now!!!!!!#gaia#rynegaia#yeah#final fantasy#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv#ff14#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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A late birthday present for @telemna-hyelle !!
You're a lovely writer and I've been meaning to draw something for you for ages🥰 this story was so so sweet and soothed my soul❤️
#sorry this is so late!#idk why but this fanart fought me#EVERY.SINGLE.MINUTE#I think I'm so used to whump my brain was short circuiting at drawing fluff lol#either way#this story was SO SWEET and I love the symbolism of irises!#they are my fave flower#dod you know blue irises symbolize faith and hope?#very fitting for this story❤️❤️#legend of zelda#loz#loz fanart#loz aol#adventures of link#loz link#loz zelda
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im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just
#update from the tags : posted this after watching s1 knowing the end of s2#and i was like hm hope im not too offbase#but imagine my surprise when they literally said ‘i love this space we carved for ourselves’#I WAS SICK#ineffable husbands#<< u dont get it. i used to see that and it meant nothing to me. now its like a knife inside me#good omens#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#ur girl watches good omens#experiencing full brain rot. like every song is about them somehow#im imaginging edits in my head bc i do nawt have time to make them for real#i just bought the book and i am about to devour it#lol another update#the drama in this post is so HDISJSISB but i was FEELING IT#i was GOING THROUGH IT…#and when i think abt them for too long i still am
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The real nightmare of Nightmare Time is that there's so little of it
#ethan green#joey richter#starkid#nightmare time#hatchetfield#fanart#my art#sketches#doodles#joey playing ethan is an absolute hit with my brain#cant draw him for the life of me but THIS HAIRSTYLE WITH THAT JACKET??? i'll keep trying until i get it right love this look#soooo#im not usually the person who needs to consume ALL of the media for whatever im into#it just so happened that i kinda have to draw stuff for school anyway and nightmare time makes for a very fun background show#i got used to the format and it gets better with every episode to the point that now that i just finished it i miss it??? already??#its so very nice to have a hyperfixation again especially one that can play in the background as i fight with school stuff and comissions#thanks BD! Its all your fault buddy! ;P#500
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