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universalitgirlsblog2 · 1 month

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🧁🍥STOP BEING LAZY AND PATHETIC🧁🍥

This post is my notes of Thewizardliz video on how to stop being lazy and pathetic. This account will be my digital notebook where I will write notes from Liz and Tam Kaur's videos ( LOL ) .

🧁WHO ARE LAZY PEOPLE ?

Lazy people are the forgotten ones. People that don't want to do anything with their lives, they will always end up on a sideline.

🍥REALIZE THAT NO ONE CARES IF YOU ARE LAZY

Everybody has problems. No one cares about your victim mindset and about how life was hard/ unfair for you. Life is unfair to everyone . Life goes on. Everyone is busy with their own lives. We got to get moving !

🧁YOU AREN'T LAZY , YOU ARE PRIVILEGED

People that need to survive have no option to be lazy . People that are walking up the stairs and they can barely breathe , they have no option anymore than to lose that weight. People that are so vulnerable and their bodies cannot handle of them being so underweight have no option but to lose weight. People that have to go to work otherwise there is no food on the table. They have no option to be lazy. If you have the option to be lazy, you are privileged.

🍥THE HALO EFFECT

The halo effect is when we see a beautiful person , we will think that they are less likely to do something bad because we associate someone beautiful with being a good person. Its the same way with successful person. If we see a successful person in any field , we will assume that they are successful in all their aspects of life. Suppose if a person have a successful business , we will automatically think that they are successful in their relationships and everywhere. If you are lazy , you can't benefit from the halo effect . It takes effort to be beautiful and to maintain beauty. We only see these successes , we don't see the progress. Most people are privileged and have it all but most people come from 0 and create it for themselves. It takes discipline.

🧁FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE FORCE : HEALTH , DIET AND RELATIONSHIPS

When you feel that you are lazy , focus on your life force . What is your life force ? Health and diet. Focus on moving your body and eat foods that don't spike your insulin and eat food that nourish your body. When you feel lazy or don't feel good , don't isolate yourself. Connect with your family and friends. Also focus on your relationship with yourself. What are you engaging your mind in ? Be connected to your own energy. Journal. Sometimes God or your guides are speaking to you but because your mind is constantly racing , you can't listen to them.

🍥CREATE ROUTINES AND STICK TO THEM

Humans need routines. You need a structurised routine. Sometimes we can't stick to routines but we need a base so we have something to go back to. I would like to add something here , I am reading a book by Brianna Wiest , it's called 101 essays that will change the way you think. There was line in the book . " As children, routine gives us a feeling of safety. As adults , it gives us a feeling of purpose ."

🧁CLEAN SPACE IS SELF RESPECT

Clean space is a clean mind. Not even cleaning after yourself is a sign of huge disrespect to yourself. Stop reading this and clean your room right now !!!!!

🍥THERE IS REASON WHY YOU MADE THAT COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF

Remember the reason . Remind yourself, " Why did I even start ? " " Why did I even want this goal ?" . If you don't want the goal anymore then do something else.

🧁THINK ABOUT WHAT STORY ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF

If you are telling yourself that you are a lazy person , you will act like one. Your mom didn't carry you for 9 months just for you to say that you are lazy. Get a hold of yourself. Don't complain about how you don't have your dream life if you are lazy.

🍥REALISE YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR REALITY ANY SECOND

You can change your realities really fast if you start acting like the person you want to become.

🧁HEAL THE PAST AND MOVE ON

Go to therapy and heal from the past. You can change your story around . If you are a victim of trauma or abuse , don't just go around and tell people because they lose respect for you .

🍥YOUR BODY RESPONDS TO YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

If you are constantly living in the past , reliving it , your body will make you ill. If you want a different outcome and different future, you have to do things differently. People around you don't need to change, you have the power to control that. You have the responsibility to heal yourself. What others did to you , it is on them . They will get their karma.

🧁ARE YOU LAZY OR DID YOU STOP PROGRESSING ?

People become happy when they start progressing. We constantly need that drive or something to strive for. Create a new project . Find a new hobby. Learn a new skill. Do something that you haven't tried before or pick something you used to love.

🍥TOO MUCH INFORMATION MAKES US LAZY

There is so much information on the internet to the point we don't know what to do. There are so many videos on the best diet , skincare or workout , we get consumed in other people's opinions and lives. We start filling their lives with our energy. ( Just a suggestion; you can search workout or skincare recommendations but at the end you should choose a diet or skincare or workout which suits you , not others )

🧁ARE YOU TOO CONSUMED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES ?

If you wonder to yourself : Why do I not have any energy left for myself ? Because you are too consumed in other people's lives so you aren't living your own.

🍥FEELINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT

Feelings are just feelings. If we all just react to go out of emotions we would all unalive each other.

🧁ALLOW YOUR FEELINGS TO PURGE AND YOUR BODY TO HEAL.

Feelings purge by you feeling them. Release your emotions , don't suppress them . If you suppress those Feelings, they will get stored in your body and might show up later as physical illness. Sleeping is also healing. Let your body heal. Once that's done , get up and do something . Don't dwell there for too long.

🍥WHAT DO YOU FEEL VS WHAT DO YOU WANT ?

If you feel like eating unhealthy food but then you want your dream body. It doesn't correlate. You need to have discipline.

🧁COURAGE IS BEING VULNERABLE

Go outside and try to meet new people. Do something which you wouldn't normally do .

🍥LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP.

Learn to accept help. Sometimes God send people to help you. Ask help from God and you will receive help in miraculous ways.

🧁BE PRODUCTIVE ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

What does productivity look like for you ? What are your goals? Create that productivity mindset and visions. What works for others may not work for you.

🍥ARE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU DRAINING YOUR ENERGY ?

If you have toxic people around you , you are constantly around them , you are going to feel bad. Distance yourself. No one can make you feel upset, you have the control over how you feel.

🧁CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON SITUATIONS.

Most people are projecting their insecurities. Instead of feeling angry, have compassion for them. Similiarily , if you are going through a break up instead of thinking that they were the last person on earth. Think that your souls were meant to cross and then meant to separate. You learnt your lesson and they learn their lesson.Change your perspective on things .

🍥FOCUS ON THE THINGS YOU CAN DO

Think about three things you can do . What is your passion ? What makes you happy ? Who makes you happy ? Be grateful for these things. Realise that you can do alot and remind yourself of what you can actually do.

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crypticreid · 8 months

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KINKTOBER DAY ONE

October 1st -- Praise

happy first day of kinktober 🎃🎃🎃🎃!!!

masterlist

summary: You've been secretly hooking up with your coworker Spencer for two months. He notices something about you and wants to try something new. (I personally imagined circa season 10 Reid, but you do you bestie 😘)

warnings: praise, lots of 'good girls', oral [m/f both receiving and giving], light dom behavior, finger sucking, piv, safe sex practices, and a little bit of begging

word count: 3.1k (this one got away from me a little bit oops)

this is adult content. 18+ plus only. minors do not interact!

You had never wanted to be one of those people, a girl with a huge crush on her coworker, but then you’d meet Spencer Reid. A year ago, you’d waved at him instead of shaking his hand when Hotch had introduced the two of you, and you’d felt the first flutter of butterflies. You had tried desperately to ignore your feelings, but the more you got to know him, the harder you fell. And then, about two months ago, you’d become another cliche. The girl who was sneaking around and secretly hooking up with her coworker.

Now you were trying to avoid touching your knee against his as you sat on the plane on the way home from a case. The last time you’d simply accidentally brushed your hand against his, it had been like an electrical shock between the two of you. So it is just easier to avoid touching at all costs while in the presence of your other coworkers.

The words in the book that you’re holding in your hands are absolute gibberish as you can’t focus on anything except the way Spencer’s hands glide over the page of notes he’s re-reading. You've always known he has captivating hands, but now you know intimately just how capable those hands were. This case was long, and before that, Spencer had been at a conference for four days. He hasn’t touched you in almost a week, and you’re becoming impatient. But you both had wisely made the promise that as long as you were on clock, so to say, you were only coworkers and nothing more.

You look up as you hear him say your name.

“Would you mind reading over this? I’m not sure it makes any sense.” He hands you his leather bound notebook. You place your book on your lap and look over into his eyes.

“Me? I really don’t think I’m the person who…”

Spencer interrupts you, “I trust your opinion.” It’s a simple statement, but it sets your skin aflame all the same. To hide your reaction, you focus on reading Spencer’s notes.

“I think it’s great, Spencer. But you’re presenting this to college students, so I think it would be beneficial to use examples they may have heard in the news or at least know ‘cause of the insane amount of Netflix documentaries.” You roll your eyes as you mention the oversaturation of true crime television. But then suddenly you feel self-conscious and hand back his notebook. “I mean, I don’t know. It’s just a small idea.”

“No, it’s insightful. You’re brilliant.” You can feel your skin heat in embarrassment, not comfortable with the compliment. Compliments often make you uneasy and you don’t know why. Well, that’s not entirely true, but you didn’t feel like profiling yourself to better understand this aspect.

Spencer’s eyes observe you, and you watch as his tongue slips out and wets his bottom lip as he thinks. “I mean it.” He emphasizes.

“Thank you,” you say quietly.

“Good girl.” The words glide from Spencer’s mouth almost absent-mindedly and barely audible as he returns to his work. If he notices how much deeper your blush becomes, he doesn’t say anything. And you pretend you didn’t even hear him, or else you might make a fool of yourself.

Several hours later, you’re finally back at your apartment and getting into pajamas. As you pull a tank top over your head, you allow your mind to think about Spencer.

Good girl.

He said it so flippantly, practically under his breath. Did he even mean for you to hear it? Did he know how it would make your heart hammer? You play it over again and again, letting yourself bask in the feeling.

There’s a knock on your door, so you quickly pull on an old pair of yoga pants and race to your door. A brisk glance through your peephole causes that all too familiar heart tremor. Dr. Spencer Reid at your door, as though you’d summoned him with your thoughts.

You swing open the door and let your eyes trail down his body.

“I meant it.” He says immediately.

“What do you mean?” You want to reach for him. He’s still dressed for work, and it takes everything in you not to wrap your fingers around his tie and pull him into your apartment.

“When I called you brilliant.” He replies casually.

“You came all this way to call me brilliant?”

He smirks. “No, I came all this way to do this,” as he talks he steps toward you.

You let a small breath of anticipation escape before he has his hands on either side of your face and is pressing his lips to yours. Your own hands find their way first to grasp at his waist and then around to his back, pulling him impossibly closer to you, desperate for the feel of his body against yours. The harsh sharp lines of him melding into the soft, lush curves of you.

He moves you further into your apartment, shuts your door, and then pushes you up against the cool wood of the door, all without pulling his lips away from yours. Goosebumps spring to life across your skin as your body tries to process the head spinning sensation of the warmth of his body, combining with the chill of the door against your back. His hands are in your hair, possessive and needy, and you moan into his mouth.

You feel the puffs of breath against your mouth as he laughs softly and then pulls away, his hands come to rest between your neck and shoulders. “I’ve missed you.”

A small smile curves your freshly kissed lips. “It’s been like two hours since I saw you.”

“I’ve missed being able to touch you.” He amends. The thumb of his right hand starts to move up and down the skin of your neck, and you wonder if he can feel how fast your heart is beating. His eyes search your face. “Did you like it when I called you a good girl?”

Your lips part as if to reply, but no words come out.

“Answer me.” He demands softly, his words are never harsh, but they still hold a sense of power.

“Yes. I liked it,” you admit.

He continues to watch you as his mind works, and then he makes a low sound of approval from his throat. “And would you like me to call you a good girl more often?”

Need and want pools low in your belly, but you take a second to wet your lips before answering. You want your voice to come across as strong and sure, so there is no question that you want this. “Yes, please.”

Your head is swimming in the overwhelming sensation of his lips back on yours in a matter of seconds. His hands explore your body, grazing and grasping onto your breasts before settling on your hips. He uses his knee to push your legs apart, and you move without resistance. A guttural moan breaks free from your throat as that same knee connects with the place that has been begging for friction since the moment Spencer put his hands on you.

Spencer breaks away from the kiss. “You’re so beautiful when you moan like that,” he murmurs against your skin as he kisses, licks, and nips along your jaw and neck.

Your hips jerk involuntarily, but it instantly causes a wave of pleasure as you slide against him. “Do that again, baby.” You do as you’re told and again and again. His mouth continues across your clavicle, and then lower until his teeth scrape against one of your nipples over the fabric of your tank top. You gasp and push yourself closer to him, but he pulls away.

He lowers himself to the ground as he works to push down your yoga pants. As soon as you step out of them, the pants are thrown across the room, Spencer not bothering to pay attention. All of his attention is on you.

“Look at you, pretty girl.” His thumb traces over the damp spot in your underwear while his other hand travels up your leg, sending zaps of pleasure straight to your core.

“All for me?” His eyes flash up to yours.

“I’m yours,” you answer.

“That’s my good girl.” You twist your hands into his hair when his mouth makes contact with your still clothed pussy, his tongue swiping against you. He only teases you for a second before he can’t take it anymore and pulls down your underwear to be able to taste you without a barrier. The room fills with the obscene sounds of him lapping at your core as he lavishes praises on you in between licking and sucking. “So perfect, so goddamn perfect.”

You throw your head back with a deep moan.

Spencer continues, undisturbed. “Yes. Keep moaning for me. I want your neighbors to hear how good you are for me.” His tongue circles and caresses your clit. “Do you want my fingers inside of you? Tell me.”

“Yes, oh god. Fuck. Spencer.” You can’t think straight. The only thing your brain is capable of is focusing on how good you feel.

Spencer obliges your request and plunges two fingers into you. Your fingers tighten in his hair. “I can’t believe how wet you are. And you’re taking my fingers so good. I bet you’d take my cock even better.” He hooks his fingers and massages against the swollen pressure point inside you.

You lean forward over him, trying to keep your legs steady.

“Are you gonna come for me, sweetheart?” You simply nod your head even though he can’t see with his face buried in your pussy. “You’re gonna come all over my face and my fingers because you’re my good girl, aren’t you?”

Your legs shake, but Spencer uses his free hand to hold onto your hip and hold you steady.

“It’s okay, you can let go. I’ve got you.” His fingers buried deep within you speed up and he focuses all of his attention on the pattern of his tongue against your clit, ramping up the building pleasure that’s threatening to bubble over. “You’ve made such a mess, a beautiful mess. Look at you, so good. So good.”

You clench around him. “Yes, that’s it. I want you to come. Just like that.” You jerk against his fingers and jaw as the pressure cascades and overflows inside you. His name is the only thing you can say in between your moans. “I love when you say my name when you come.” His fingers slow their pace, and his mouth becomes less frantic as he guides you through your orgasm and the small after-shocks.

When he finally pulls away completely, you watch slack-jawed as he takes his two fingers and puts them in his slick mouth, cleaning away traces of you. “Tasting you makes me so hard, I love it.” You lean back against the door with a smile.

“Do you want me to help with that?”

He laughs. “I’m not even close to finishing with you, my beautiful girl.” When he starts to reach for you, you grab onto his tie first and pull him closer. You work on his tie as you kiss his mouth, tasting the remnants of yourself.

In a matter of seconds, you have his tie off and thrown into the abyss, your shaking fingers focusing on unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes watch as you strip him of his shirt and then pull on his belt. But he can’t keep his hands off you, and they create a path over your skin. You undo the clasp, the tingling sound of metal like a beckoning call.

After taking off his belt and letting it drop to the floor, you also head toward the floor onto your knees. Spencer’s hand’s end up in your hair, and your hands travel up his thighs to the noticeable bulge in his pants. “Do you see what you do to me? Only you can make me this hard.”

You bite your bottom lip and work to take off his pants and underwear as he kicks off his shoes. Your eyes look up to his eyes, and he smiles at you. “Go on, I know you’re desperate for it.” One hand holds onto the base of him as your tongue circles the pink tip. He lets out a sharp breath at the contact.

You watch his reactions, flicking and teasing his head, gathering the stickiness of his precum on his tongue. Then you circle your lips around him and inch down, your hand sliding up and down on him to meet your mouth. His mouth is wide open as he watches you, the eye contact between the two of you almost overwhelming. Your body doesn’t seem to care that you just had an earth-shattering orgasm because you can feel the steady thrum of need building.

“Are you getting wet again just from sucking me off?” You nod and take him deeper in your mouth, the hand resting on his thigh feels a muscle twitch. “You have the perfect mouth.” His fingers in your hair pull slightly, not enough to cause pain, but just enough to cause you to moan on his dick.

“If you keep doing that I’m gonna come down that pretty throat.” You moan again, and he makes a low humming noise. “Is that what you want, sweet girl?”

You pull off of him, a string of spit following you, “yes.” You take both hands and twist and stroke up and down him with a smile on your messy lips.

“Open your mouth.” You do as he says, sticking your tongue out flat. He takes his two fingers and sticks them in your mouth, and you instantly start to suck on them, never stopping the motion of your hands. “My perfect, beautiful girl.” He mutters and then pulls his fingers from your mouth. Before you can put your mouth back on him, he’s stepping away and then helping you stand up.

When you’re on your feet, he kisses you slowly, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth, and you reach down with one hand to continue to stroke him. He breaks the kiss and lightly guides you to turn around and bend over, using your hands to hold yourself up on the door. “You’re so good for me. Stay there.” You look over your shoulder and watch him find his pants to grab a condom. He quickly unwraps it and slides it on before returning to you.

He glides his hands over the back of your thighs and over your ass appreciatively, then squeezes your ass. “Are you going to take all of me?” The whispers tickling the back of your neck as he leans over you toward your ear, you shiver against him.

“Yes.”

He trails a hand down your spine as he pulls away and then helps you to set your legs further apart. You bite your lip, so ready for him, when he squeezes your hips. Both of you moan deeply as he guides himself into you, inching himself in until he’s seated completely. His hands are back on your hips, holding you in place. He leans forward and places a kiss on your back. He whispers in your ear again, “now you’re gonna be a good girl for me, and you’re not gonna come until I tell you you can. Do you understand?”

You nod swiftly.

He presses another kiss. “Words please, sweet girl.”

“I understand.”

He stands fully and slowly starts to pull himself out of you, dragging against every inch of your core. When he’s out fully, he pushes forward, again at that agonizing slow pace. You squirm against him, needing more. “You think you can take all of it, baby?”

“Yes. Yes. Please. Please.”

“You’re so beautiful begging for me.” You think he’s going to continue to tease you, but he doesn't. He starts to move faster and faster, building up a steady rhythm. Your nails scratch against the wood of your door. “That’s it, so good. I only ever feel this good with you. Only you can take my dick like this. You take it so perfect.” He gasps and rambles as he pumps into you.

The base of your spine zaps pleasure through your body and you shake on him.

“Don’t come yet, baby. Not yet. I could spend forever inside you.”

You feel your arms start to get weak, but Spencer holds so tight on you that you know that you’re stable. “I need to –” you gasp and squeeze your eyes shut.

“I know. I know. But you can wait, I know you can. Do you know how I know you can?”

You shake your head.

“Because you’re my good girl.” You press your lips together and moan. “Yeah, and you’re gonna wait until I tell you. And then you’re going to touch that swollen little clit of yours. It’s aching isn’t it.”

“Yes!” You practically shout. “Spencer, please.”

“Beg again.”

“Please. Spencer. Oh god, please. I need it. I need it.”

“Touch your clit, baby.” You cry out as soon as one of your hands makes contact. “You still can’t come, honey.”

You whimper, but try so hard not to give yourself over to the pleasure.

“You’re all mine, aren’t you.”

“Yes, yours all yours. Only yours forever.”

He bites out a harsh moan, and you know he’s trying just as hard as you to keep it together. “You look so pretty.” The words are just rambles, almost imperceptible. “Come for me. Come all over me.”

You do so instantly, Spencer tightens his grip on you to hold you steady as you lose yourself in the feeling. He comes with whimpers and sighs and deep grunts. When he finally stops moving, your legs are gelatinous, so he holds you tight against him, your back against his chest. He pulls out of you and then turns you around in his arms.

“You’re perfect.” He peppers light kisses across your face and lips and neck. “You did so good.” His hands are wrapped around you, both holding you steady but also keeping close to him. “I’m so proud of you.”

Your eyes flutter closed, and he kisses your lips fully. When he pulls away, you open your eyes and look up into his eyes. “Are you okay?” He checks in softly.

“Yes.”

“Good.” He kisses you again chastely. “That was beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Another kiss and his hands massage down your back and your hips, checking to see if you’re sore.

“I’m fine.” You answer before he can ask.

“Did you like that,” he asks earnestly.

“I loved it.”

He smiles brightly and you match it. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #my writing #see you all on friday 😘😈

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cozycottagetarot · 12 days

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How Can You Manifest Your Wishes?

Notes:

This is not one of my favourite readings, but I hope you find something useful in it!These types of readings are always slightly difficult to keep organise but I tried my best. I'd love to know if you prefer paragraphs or bullet points as well! Shout out to the anon who recommended this reading!

‼️ This reading is in no way shape or form meant to act as or substitute professional advice of any kind. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️

This PAC Includes:

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

The Energy You're In

The Energy You Need To Be In

Extended Reading Includes

How Can You Open Yourself Up

What's Working vs What's Not Working

Additional Messages

Dividers From X

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Wishes for a full-life makeover. If it’s a wish (or goal) you feel blocked or burnout pursuing. A wish you keep coming back to or feels like a ‘higher calling’. A wish of the heart. A wish around love (of any kind).

The Energy You're In

It feels like you’re in this bright, playful energy and you’re just absolutely ready to go! You see all the possible laid out before you and you’re getting excited about it. You could be coming out of a rough period and you’re trying to rebuild your sense of positivity. You’re trying to move on to the next version of you. You’re expecting the best (or you should be) and are in this very attractive and magnetic energy right now. You have a card here the Flamingo which is all about fun and the vibes of this section make me think of Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter. The vibe of the music video feels very playful and fun and the line “my give a f*cks are on vacation” reminds me of the energy you're in at the moment. It all feels very warm like I can almost feel the sun on my skin.

HOWEVER, you may be focusing on these possibilities through the eyes of others… living vicariously through others. What I mean by this is viewing people through social media, books, even in person and believing you can do what they do (which is fine) but through their experience or as them rather than you… I hope that makes sense. You may hold onto the super intense aspects of love or pleasure. This can be especially important regarding relationships! I will make a post on this a little later (it’s drafted), but the energy you’re in requires you to take a look at what ‘work’ you’re asking others to do for you. You need to focus on how you’re channeling the vibrant passionate energy you’re embodying at the moment.

The Energy You Need To Be In

As beautiful as your current energy is, you need to slow your roll a little bit here. Yes, hold onto the belief that things are going great for you— but you also need to ground yourself and savour the small moments too. Enjoy ALL the good things… right down to the perfectly crafted beverage. Take chances but double-check your trajectory first. Don’t just rush in, you’re in need of a balance right now. You’re in a phase of transition but divine timing is also at play. However, I feel like if you try to force things then you might end up bringing a 'tower moment' on yourself (if you’re about to panic, relax!) where you’re forced to take a look at what is truly important to you.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 2

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Of personal strength. Wishing your wish will come true. Balance. Employment (especially self employment). A wish to remove a known block or a wish for a solution of any kind. Relating to being in between phases. Something that will bring you a sense of safety or stability. Gaining your wings. Wishes involving social connections.

*Relationships are such a strong theme here, but it seems as though it maybe experience from childhood that come up a lot in this reading

The Energy You're In

I think you’re in an energy of waiting and surveying your surroundings... Like when someone’s wounded and retreats to regroup and tend to themselves. Main themes relate to boundaries, relationships and self care. You’re trying to find allies but I think it’s a little bit hard right now. Very analytical mind, trying to determine what stays and what goes. Things are definitely shifting and you’re just kind of keeping to yourself. Communication is such a big thing for you here. I feel like you’re really just on the sidelines taking things slow. You want to ally with others but you need to tend to yourself first or at least that’s your focus right now. You’re mainly in an energy of taking stock it seems… on alert in changing circumstances. You might be ruminating on how you communicate with others? There’s a suggest to look at how you experienced communication growing up? You might be stuck in your head… seeing “people” as not safe.

Idk guys, like are you good? Usually Pile 3 is the one that messes with me but the energies here feel sooo off. Kind of wondering if you're fatigued, hung up over someone even? Not necessarily romantically but someone who was/is supposed to have your back and you’re just hitting a wall or something at the moment. The energy literally disappearaed once I moved onto the energy you need to be in so take that as a positive sign!

If it ain’t me — Dua Lipa kept coming to me and disco balls stood out from the cards.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I feel like you need to be in an energy where, yes you’re surveying/assessing your surroundings, but you have to get up and do so instead of sitting around. You need to take action and expand your horizons. Be bold and go for it... I think you’ve got what you need. The consistent message is that doing nothing is not an option. Take a chance on what will fulfill your desires. Accepting endings is important and being able to move on. Allow yourself to transition to a fresh start.

Consider your image and how you show up as/interact with authority. Leadership. Especially emotional leadership. Parenting oneself and/or setting the example for how you want others to treat you. Create a safe home ‘base’ (internal or external) but don’t get stuck in it. Maybe ask yourself what creates home? Makes you feel safe/secure? You also could need to take a look at sibling relationships or any with a sibling like dynamic and factor in how you those affect how you show up is important to look at too. I think this could relate to blocks. But you need to place your roots first and then explore.

Trust yourself and make a move. Focus on your strengths and believe that you have gathered enough data to move forward. Structure and strategy are going to be your friends. Honor those ‘above’ you but hold onto your power. Set boundaries and hold other accountable (and yourself too).

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 3

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Travel, adventure, family, community, friendships/found family, creative projects, diving intervention, exploring new interest, work-life balance.

The Energy You're In

Closing out cycles and actively transforming. Seeking out messages from the divine. You're open to receiving messages and guidance. Very calm and zen feeling. Maybe feeling like you're going through or have recently gone through a rebirth. You're ready to make moves. Strong willed. "What do you want to do?" is a question that should be potentially on your mind if it's not. Taking inspired action. Bring play into your life/how can you do so? This can even apply to relationships. Healing. Compare and contrasting how past events influence you and if how you're showing up matches your intentions. Heavy on the "level up" energy but this is a kind you're actively seeking. Exploring relationships, mentorships, ideas. Leaning on love ones. Generally being in good vibes.

Feels like a combination of pile 1 and 2 so if you were drawn to one of those as well I recommend checking them out.

This also feels like a very spiritual pile? I'm not sure how describe it but I kept saying 'the Universe' alot while I was doing this reading so of course just adjust it to whatever suits you and your belief best!

The Energy You Need To Be In

It's slightly hard to organise the messages here. There's a need to ground yourself. Don't stop working on healing, but also maintain your stability. Expansion & communication. Abundance is coming in. Remember you're worthy of abundance and your manifestation skills are heightened. Big things are coming for you. Expanding your perspective as well. Where do you need to speak up? You can and should try to lean on others. Open your heart... you don't have to have an armored heart. Cultivate your wishes, the things you want to grow. Nurture your wishes and your heart. Make sure you're clear on what you want to manifest. Keep your motivation up by focusing on short term steps. Look to mentors for guidance.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 4

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Nostalgia. Happiness. Needing motivation. Heavily charged emotional wishes. Something relating to others… not necessarily currently though. Like a wish that was formed because of someone years ago. If you have a vision board. Looking for a break. Or for a break to end. A wish where you’ve heard divine timing is at play. Direction. A waiting period to be over. Trying to break something you know isn’t good for you.

Pay attention to words, phrases or songs that come up often.

The Energy You're In

You’re very guarded. You’re wanting to break away from whatever is just weighing on you and you’re working hard at it but at the same time I feel like you just won’t let go??? Despite you working to break the chains or get a move on, it feels like they’re never ending but they are ending!! Don’t be fooled by appearances.

I think you’re very future focused and all about recreating yourself (I heard in entirety). You’re trying to expand your pov and I feel also kind of just nurture yourself internally. Very introspective trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do or who you want to be.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I didn’t really get anything specifically about money regarding wishes but I think it at least revolves around some kind of stability heavily. You need to be walking away from what isn’t serving you. Realise that you can create just about anything right now... anything goes.

You need to be doing what’s best for you regardless of if you hate it. Your day to day life is super important. I don’t know if rainbows are important to you but also I’m feeling like you need to fill your life with colour too. You need to become clear on resources and what they mean to you such as money, you body, other material possessions etc. get your financial life together. Do some deep cleaning. Like normally these readings are a matter of mindset and mental work but this pile feels very physical. Beautify your life and make it aesthetically pleasing without breaking the bank. How can you use art as well to make a masterpiece out of your feelings? How can you make your day to day life more enjoyable?

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pac reading #pick a pile reading #pick a picture #pac #pick an image #cozycottagetarot #cozycottagetarot readings #tarotblr #free reading tarot #free tarot reading

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briarcrawford · 8 months

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Is This How You Write Romance?

I have never written a romance; not even once. That does not mean there is anything wrong with romance stories, just that I typically am drawn to writing stories that focus on other aspects. Now, that might sound like I am being a snob, but what I really mean is that I am a simple soul; I crave action scenes. Media that is majority romance just tends to bore me.

I do want to improve as a writer, though, and that does include writing romance(as a sub-plot). It is something most people expect in stories, and, if I am honest, a part of the reason I continue to avoid it is that I have no experience writing it. So, to help me get started, I have been doing what I do best: researching.

I have been (halfheartedly, with my phone in hand) watching the odd romance movie when my mom has them on(those ultra cheesy Hallmark ones), and it seems like most romances can break down into a simple formula.

The formula is:

1. The Meet-Cute

After the viewers have had a look into the life of the main character, the meet-cute happens. This scene is most likely funny or overly dramatic.

“In film and television, a meet cute is a scene in which the two people who will form a future romantic couple meet for the first time, typically under unusual, humorous, or cute circumstances. This type of scene is a staple of romantic comedies, though it can also occur in sitcoms and even soap operas.” Wikipedia

2. Building a Connection

Scenes that gradually bring them closer; typically do to coincidences or circumstances that force them to keep meeting. These scenes are when your readers will decide if they have chemistry or not.

3. Turning to Feelings

They continue having scenes together, and show signs of mutual interest. These scenes are when readers decide if they would make a healthy couple, and romance fans start looking forward to what could happen.

4. Feelings Confirmed

Something happens (such as a rescue, or a near kiss) that makes them realize or suspect that the feelings are mutual.

5. The Test

Their relationship is tested, and they realize how much they need each other. This is normally when one side runs off, and the other chases.

Without some sort of conflict and character building, the romance may come off feeling like filler content or fan service.

6. End

All is resolved, and they are together now.

Obvious, right? Well, the trick is to weave these into your main plot without them standing out too much.

Once you know what readers want in romance, the tricky part starts.

1. Confirm your genre.

What scenes are most important to you? If it is the romance scenes, you may want to rethink how you classify your genre. For example, there is a difference between writing a fantasy with a romance subplot, and a romance with a fantasy subplot. Deciding if you need to shift your main focus will change how much of each content makes up the percentage of your book.

2. Decide Your Goals.

What are your goals for the relationship? Sometimes, the plot points above stretch through just one book, while other times it can stretch for a whole series. If your goal is to have them get together in one book, know that you will have to deal with continuing that romance throughout the rest of the series(and adding in enough drama to keep it worth the subplot time).

3. They Should Amplify Your Main Plot.

If you have your characters become a couple in the middle of your main-plot’s climax, you risk ruining what tension you have built. Some writers do fight this and go with it anyway, though that is often because one of the love interests is almost guaranteed to die in the next scene.

Instead, consider having the relationship build at the same speed of the main plot. This is why end-of-series kisses are so popular to write.

Another popular option is to have them get together early on, but separated. That way, the hero is fighting not only to survive, but also to get back to their love.

This is, of course, all written by someone learning, so if any of you have any tips for writing romance, please let me know! I am not planning on watching any more of those movies(sorry, mom haha), so I will take all the help I can get.

#writing #writing help #writing advice #writing tips #romance #writing romance

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francis-writes · 3 months

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FEYD-RAUTHA HARKONNEN NSFW ALPHABET

A/N: btw in these headcanons as well as my other posts about Dune i kinda mix movie and book versions of character

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Feyd-Rautha isn't the most affectionate person, even if you're together. He just falls asleep, hugged into you. He may help you clean yourself and take care of the wounds if it was particularly rough session.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It would be a hard decision but if he had to choose, Feyd would say that he most likes his hands. The way they use a knife, how they engulf your neck... he loves how many lives he took with his hand and you still kiss them and want them on your body.

When it comes to you, Feyd would probably choose all these spots that he uses to make you shiver and writhe. He knows you body well and remember where he needs to focus when he wants to give you pain or pleasure.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

In you, almost always. He sees it as a kind of marking his territory (there was that one fanfic where Harkonnens had black cum so basically everyone could notice stains and knew that they fucked and I absolutely love this headcanon), moreover he needs to secure his line and get an heir.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It takes a bit of time together for Feyd to accept this (and even longer to admit it) but he enjoys being soft with you. He still loves violence and rough sex but he also likes cuddling with you and being petted.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I suppose we all know the answer. Sex and violence are two things he mastered.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He can't choose just one. Missionary is good for keeping eye contact and observing your reactions. Anything where he takes you from behind, gives him feeling of control and domination. Also there are a lots of moment when you're restrained in all possible positions.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Feyd isn't a very humorous person in general and sex is no exception. Smile is the best you can get from him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I'll go here with his 2023 movie look and say that he's as bald and smooth down there, as everywhere else.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Well, he's not the most romantic person. Even if he loves you, he doesn't know how to show it except for being more delicate and caring with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He rather doesn't do it. When he's horny, he can just find you or one of his concubines.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

You can pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands but I think that he has a mommy kink. He didn't got much affection in his life, growing up in Harkonnen's family and in movie version he killed his mother sooo lots of issues here (in comics he was just kidnapped from parents as a small kid so not much better). Anyway, he wouldn't admit it but he loves when you hug him and stroke his head as he rests on your chest or belly. Praise him, tell him that you love him, you're proud of him and he will melt in your arms.

Also, of course, all kinds of BDSM. Feyd prefers to cause pain but he's sadomasochistic and lets you torture him as well. I won't list specific things he likes because it would be easier to list things he doesn't like.

And semi-public sex? He wants people to hear how he fucks you and to know that you're his and his only.

Perhaps breeding kink (but in Dune almost everybody has breeding kink; bene gesserit is as if somebody had breeding kink and decided to make this everyone's problem). As I mentioned, he sees this kinda as marking his territory and bounding you to him? And of course, he needs an heir (not that he actually likes children).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom is the best. There's a big bed and all of his toys and tools... but Feyd isn't picky. If mood strikes him, he may fuck you on any surface.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Almost everything lol

But just to give a random example, he's always horny after fight, especially if he kills someone (same if you love violence as well and kill somebody).

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hmm he's rather possesive so it may be hard to convince him to a threesome. But at the other hand, he's a hedonist so maybe he would like it.

It's hard to say what he wouldn't do because as I say later, this man is down to try almost everything.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

It's not his favourite sexual thing to do, but he never refuses a blowjob. He prefers receiving, giving you oral is a rare occasion. He can do this, just usually his pleasure has priority.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually fast and rough, Feyd only goes slow when he wants to tease you or to torture you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Feyd prefers longer sessions when he can focus on the act and perhaps torture you a little but quickies are not far away in the ranking. As I mentioned, he has a very high libido, so it often happens during the day that he's busy and don't have much time so he just pulls you to the nearest room. And if some servant walks in (very unlikely, considering all the noises alarming people what's happening behind the doors)? Then that's their problem. Feyd doesn't stop thrusting into you, as they leave the room in hurry.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Feyd is that type of man who will try anything in his life at least once, so take care of yourself.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

In general, he has amazing stamina (years of training paid off) but it depends on situation, like, whether you have a standard fast fucking just to satisfy your lust, or you have a whole session with long foreplay. Amount of rounds varies but he can go for a few hours.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Feyd has a whole collection, whatever he could get. Dildos, clamps, spreader bars, ropes, whips, knives, needles, wax candles, dick rings, chastity belts, butt plugs and a few things that look like torture devices. Anyway, both of you use it rather frequently.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you. With his voice, his words, even his gestures seem sexual. He also likes to touch (or rather grope) you through the day. Fortunately, he has a high libido so it won't take long before he pulls you to the nearest free room.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn't very loud, if he moans or gasps, he does it rather quietly. But he likes every once in awhile talk to you and tease you. Maybe it's nothing special but even "How does it feel, my pet? Don't be shy, look me in the eyes" said in his low voice can make you shiver.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He is actually a switch. Top leaning but occasionally enjoys when you take control. And, no matter who's in charge, he's still a sadomasochist so even when he's dominating, he wants you to give him pain.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Perfectly average but he knows how to use it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Probably you all expected this, but yeah. Very high. There's no day without sex and not just one round.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Rather quickly. He has a good stamina but sex takes a lot of his energy, especially considering how long you do it and how much he engages in it.

#feyd rautha imagine #feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha #feyd rautha harkonnen #dune imagine #dune part two #house harkonnen

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anthurak · 2 months

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Takeaways from the Volume 9 Epilogue:

One thing I really like about Oscar’s ‘If there was anything I wish I could borrow from you…’ monologue is that it laid out/confirmed something I’ve always felt was a major aspect of Oscar’s dynamic with Ruby that I nonetheless feel a lot of the fandom has missed: That Oscar very much sees Ruby as a mentor and an example to follow, and how their dynamic is specifically a foil to what we saw between Ruby and Ozpin. That Ruby acts as a mentor and example to Oscar in the same way Ozpin was to Ruby, and that Ruby is a far BETTER mentor and example to Oscar than Ozpin ever was to her. Which, as an aside, is a dynamic I can’t help but feel a lot of people have been misinterpreting as ‘ship-teasing’ and is one of the main reasons I’ve simply never been able to see Oscar as any kind of viable love-interest to Ruby. Frankly the dynamic of ‘Ruby is the mentor and example to Oscar that Ozpin couldn’t be for her’ is simply so much more INTERESTING than any kind of romance could ever hope to be.

Even in animatic form, Winter basically going overdrive on the maiden powers was a sight to behold. And her own monologue had all the self-deprecation we were expecting. Our girl is clearly holding on by a thread and it’s going to be REAL interesting seeing how she reacts and adjusts to her sister not actually being dead. As in, I can imagine a situation where Winter tries to throw herself into a heroic sacrifice with the belief that Weiss would make a better Maiden than her.

Also, Winter’s monologue giving major focus to how Penny is super-super-dead-dead-and-definitely-not-coming-back-for-really-realsies, as she is talking to the sister who she ALSO believes is DEFINITELY also dead? Specifically with the words that Penny is gone, when Penny’s last words to her were that she’d be ‘part of you’?

Yeah, there is no way in hell we’ve seen the last of Penny XD

The CROWN. Like it was only a few shots, but as someone who read the CFVY Books (which you totally should if you haven’t, they’re great), holy shit I was NOT expecting them to pop up here.

I mean, in hindsight it makes perfect sense that they’d be involved in Volume 10. They’re basically Vacuo’s equivalent to Vale’s criminal element and the White Fang splinter faction as Salem’s co-opted insurgency group, with Jax and Gillian joining Roman, Adam and Jacques as the latest of Salem’s unwitting patsies. It’s definitely going to be real interesting seeing the crew deal with them. Like it’s really fun to imagine Team RWBY in particular being kind of exasperated at seeing Jax’s probably doing a whole ‘With Salem’s help I shall be King!’ shtick after everything they’ve seen with Roman, Adam and Jacques.

Oh and if you don’t know, Jax has a mind-control semblance, so him trying to use that on Yang could actually lead to a sneaky callback to the Justice League crossover, ie; Yang doing a ‘Yeah, I’m not doing THAT shit again.’ XD

Qrow’s whole vibe through this is fascinating. Like his section may have been the one we already saw, but after seeing the abject depression and growing despair of all the other characters, Qrow actually being OPTIMISTIC hit so much harder.

Raven showing up at the end is… interesting.

I’ll admit that ever since we saw that specific clip a few months back, I’ve been rather conflicts about Raven showing up to deliver RWBY+J to Vacuo, particularly after Ruby’s tree vision. Like for one it felt a bit random and unnecessary. The tree already deposited the Ever After team outside of Vacuo so they didn’t exactly need help getting there. Not to mention that it kind of clotheslines the story-thread set up by Ruby’s vision; that she now has a reason to track Raven down to get the ANSWERS to what happened to Summer. Finally, it’s just kind of… random? Like where did Raven even come from to get the team?

But now having seen the clip with its intended context, I’m definitely more on board with it. Particularly hearing from Kerry and Eddy that the original ending for the penultimate episode had RWBY+J going through the portal to arrive at their memorial stone, and met by a ‘Mysterious Figure’, ie; Raven. Here it feels like were getting more set up to get answers later as to what Raven was doing at the memorial.

And really, now that I’ve thought about it more, this method kind of puts the thread of Ruby going to Raven for answers even MORE into focus. Like the story reintroduces Raven in the present right after Ruby got a vision basically saying ‘hey, Raven is important’. And now going into Volume 10, we’re pretty much perfectly positioned for Ruby to pull Raven aside for those all-important ‘Why were you fucking my mom? What happened to my mom?’ questions.

Finally… yeah that ending hit me a LOT harder than I was expecting. Like that ending was HOPE in its purest form and it was honestly beautiful to see. Particularly right now with the future of the show seeming so uncertain. I’ve personally been optimistic about RWBY’s future (in a manner not unlike Qrow’s vibes I suppose lol), but damn the hopefulness of that ending hit especially hard, and was something I’ll admit I needed. And I imagine the rest of us could use as well.

We'll be getting Volume 10. And 11, and 12, and however many more it takes to finish this story. At this point, I have no doubt of that.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 epilogue #rwby ramblings #Team RWBY #Ruby Rose #Yang Xiao Long #Winter Schnee #ozpin #oscar pine #Raven Branwen #Qrow Branwen #rwby after the fall #rwby before the dawn #jax asturias #gillian asturias

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i-literally-cant-with-this · 2 months

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A/N ::: So I don't think I'm broken anymore. 1 week of a actually doing something didn't ruin me. I come back on the weekends.

C/W ::: Draken x F.reader, Make-up sex?, unprotected sex, P->V

WC ::: Kinda long, 3,035. Happy with every word.

You were going over to Draken's place to collect the rest of your stuff today. It's ok though, because he's out doing some stupid Toman shit and won't be there. Seeing him right now would be your absolute downfall. It would permanently wreck you. You're so fucking horny all the time. Yeah, so, you have toys. But your toys will never measure up to his cock. They'll never measure up to his hands or his mouth on you. He could get you wet by just looking at you for too long.

"Ohp, snap out of it, y/n. Stop. Now." You had to remind yourself on the way over there that not only would you not be seeing him, but you wouldn't be fucking him, either. And all the thoughts that penetrated your brain consisted of him. Pounding into you at such an unforgiving pace you thought you were actually going to die - but it was ok. There was no better way to go than being fucked to death by him. Him of all people.

The 2nd in command of Toman. Mikey's №1… in many aspects. Sitting at the red light you started thinking about how Draken was your №1, how you were his №1.5. Mikey always came first when it came to business. You always came first when he was done with that shit.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't notice the light had turned green until the car behind you honked their horn. "Fuck!" You slammed on the gas and turned the wheel a little too hard, causing the car to jerk sideways and you almost lost control. "Perfect visual to my life right now. Goddamn it, Draken. Leave me alone." You were really starting to lose it.

After calming down and pulling over to catch your breath, you realized you were already at your destination. It wasn't like you needed to check the address or anything, you knew exactly where he lived. And so often, you were on auto-pilot. Whenever he called you, you floated out to the car and eased your way down into the driver's seat. Your pussy already sensitive. Reeling in the anticipation of what he was going to do to you. How he was going to make you feel.

"Fuck. Ok, y/n. Keep it together." You hopped out and made your way to the front door. No one was around, and the gate was unlocked. That's always a good sign. Draken must have forgotten to lock it before he left. He was expecting you to come by today, but you double - triple checked the date to make sure he wasn't going to be here. If he were, you know all to well that you'd end up fucking in his room before you left with the rest of your things.

As you unlocked the door with your spare key, you realized he probably left the gate open for you. "Thanks, Ken." you muttered to yourself as you walked into the living room. It was just as clean and organized as you remembered it. Nothing out of place. Everything had its spot. That's one of the things you loved about him.

You made your way to his bedroom, and as soon as you opened the door you were greeted by his scent. That fucking smell. It was so intoxicating. He smelled like a mixture of cologne and musk. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on, but it was so sexy. So damn irresistible. You wanted to rip off your clothes and roll around on his bed just to soak up his aroma. You had half a mind to find his cologne and spray it all over you and your stuff so you could have it permeate your senses one more time and last until the smell completely faded away. But you managed to resist the temptation to go down that path.

"Ok, focus." You had to snap out of it again. "This is the last time you'll be in here. Just grab your shit and go." You gathered your clothes and some other miscellaneous items you had scattered around the room. Some makeup, a few books you borrowed from him, and some other trinkets that you didn't even realize you had left behind.

As you were stuffing everything into your bag, you found one of your old bras. You actually weren't even sure if it was yours. "Damn, Draken." You laughed to yourself as you shoved it into your purse. You didn't know how it ended up in his drawer, but you assumed it was from one of his one night stands. They must have left it behind and he either didn't bother to throw it out or he didn't know what to do with it. You decided to take it and toss it when you got home. "It's not like he's gonna miss it anyway."

Once you were finished, you took one last look around the room. The memories flooded back into your mind. The nights you spent tangled in his sheets, him fucking you so good you almost passed out. The way he whispered in your ear how much he loved you. How he was addicted to your pussy. You remembered how you would sit on his face and grind against him until you came. How he would eat you out like you were the last meal on earth.

"Stop! Stopstopstop it!" You smacked yourself across the face, trying to snap yourself out of it again. You couldn't think about him anymore. It was too much. He was too much. You grabbed your bag and headed out the door, locking it behind you. As you walked out to your car, you saw the garage door was open and you noticed his bike sitting there. It was so shiny and well taken care of. You remember riding on the back of it with him, feeling the wind whip through your hair as he zoomed down the streets. You felt so free with him. So alive.

"Not the point, asshole." You said to yourself, making your way over to the open door. "Hello?" You asked. It wasn't like Draken to leave his door open like this. It wasn't like him to not have his bike. There was no answer so you walked in. "Anyone home?"

And there he was. Sitting on his stool, lowered all the way down so he could work on whatever the hell he was working on. You never knew what he was doing. But you knew that he looked amazing doing it. "Hiiii," you said, slowly dragging out the 'i'. He didn't turn around. Didn't even flinch when you said that.

"You're supposed to be gone, Ken." You said, annoyed. Still, he didn't move. "Did you hear me? I said you're supposed to be gone!" You started to get pissed off. This wasn't part of the plan. He was supposed to be out with Toman, not here. You didn't want to see him. "Hey!" You smacked him on the shoulder.

He jumped up and put his fists in front of him. "FUCK! Don't fucking sneak up on me, y/n! Jesus!" It was then you saw he had earbuds in. A smile spread across your face. You weren't sure if it was the satisfaction of knowing he didn't hear a single thing you said to him or that you scared the shit out of him. He was always so aware of his surroundings. Always knew what was happening. But not today. Today he was at your mercy.

"You fucking scared the shit out of me! What the hell are you doing here?!" He was fuming. You couldn't help but laugh. You hadn't seen him this pissed off since you two broke up. It was a sight to see.

"I came to pick up the rest of my stuff, you jackass. You said you wouldn't be here." You crossed your arms over your chest. He looked so good when he was mad. It made your pussy clench.

"Yeah, well, Mikey had some shit going on and needed me here." He started to calm down after the threat of the unknown smacking him on the shoulder passed. "I didn't think you were gonna stop by today." He leaned back on his stool, eyeing you up and down.

You knew what he was doing. He was checking you out. Trying to get a rise out of you. Make you squirm. "I … don't … look at me like that, Draken." You didn't know what else to say. You were so frustrated with him. "Don't fucking start."

He stood up and walked towards you. "Start what? I didn't start shit, y/n. You're the one who came in here and started hittin’ me and shit. You smacked me on the shoulder." He whispered in your ear. You could feel his breath on you. How hot it was. How sweet it smelled - and you could never get over that. How typically gross things that other people look or smell like, you had grown to love about him. It was infuriating. You were doing so good until today. (Good meaning you had only thought about him while touching yourself. You hadn't actually broke down to see him.)

"Fuck, Draken." You pushed him away from you, but he grabbed your hands and held them in front of you. He was so much stronger than you. It was pointless to try and fight him off. It was pointless, but it wouldn't be a lost effort. Something would come out of it. And you hoped it would go in your favor. "Don't do this to me."

He pulled you in and wrapped his arms around you. "Do what? Hold you? Is that what I'm doing, y/n?" He squeezed you tight. Your back against his chest. His head resting on your shoulder. You could feel his breath on your neck. His cock starting to harden against your ass. "You want me to let you go?"

You shook your head. Yes or no, you don’t have a single clue but you still did it. You didn't want him to let you go. You wanted him to hold you forever. You wanted him to fuck you until you couldn't see straight. You wanted him to make you feel like he used to. But you knew it was wrong. You were broken up. He didn't belong to you. "We can't, Draken. We have to stop."

He turned you around and looked you in the eye. "Stop what? This?" He rubbed his nose against yours. Teasing you. All you could think about was how it would feel to have his lips pressed to yours. It was like a fire had ignited inside you. A burning desire to have him. To feel him. To touch him. "Is this what you want me to stop, y/n? This?"

Before you could say anything, he had his mouth on yours. You tried to resist, but it was useless. Your body melted into him like it always did. The kiss was so slow. So deliberate. So well-planned. You're sure he knew you were coming over today. You both made plans to not have to see each other, that was what was agreed upon. And yet here you both are.

Right where you need to be but not where you want to be? Is that what's happening? Is that the right order? Or is it right where you want to be but not where you need to be. But all you can think about is his taste. His tongue. Tracing your bottom lip from side to side, top to bottom. The warmth of it familiar and all-encompassing. You never wanted to give it up.

He started to pull away, but you grabbed his face and kissed him back. Your hands on his cheeks, pulling him closer to you. He wrapped his arms around you and lifted you up, carrying you into the house. He set you down on the counter and started to pull off your shirt. "I missed this, y/n. I missed you."

He slid his hands down your body and undid your jeans, pulling them off of you. You couldn't believe you were doing this. That you were letting him do this. But you couldn't stop yourself. "I ... hoh ... fuck, Kennn-nuh."

He pulled you down and bent you over the counter. Your tits pressed against the cold marble. He slid his fingers into your panties and felt how wet you were. "So fucking wet, baby. You want my cock don't you? You want me to fuck you, y/n?"

You moaned as he rubbed your clit. "Yes. Fuck. I want you, Ken." He pulled your panties down and spread your ass apart. "Please fuck me, Ken." He spit on your pussy, getting it nice and wet. You heard him unzip his pants and felt the tip of his cock rub against your entrance.

"I'm gonna fuck you, y/n. I'm gonna fuck you so hard you'll forget why we ever broke up. You ready, baby?" He pressed his cock inside you, inch by inch. "Oh, fuck." You whimpered as he filled you up. "So fucking tight. You missed my cock, didn't you, y/n?"

He started to pump into you from behind. You couldn't believe how good he felt. How he stretched you out. The way he hit all the right spots. "I missed your cock, Ken. I missed it so much." He started to fuck you faster, his hips slapping against your ass. "Fuck, you're gonna make me cum already."

He pulled you up and started to play with your tits, his cock still buried deep inside you. "Cum for me, y/n. Cum all over my cock. Let me feel you, baby." He bit your earlobe and squeezed your tits.

"Oh, fuck!" You started to cum, your pussy clenching around his cock. "Fuck, y/n. I'm gonna cum."

He pulled out and your head dropped at the sudden lack of him. He turned you around and lifted you up, guiding your legs around his waist, He carried you down the hallway to his room but halfway there you slipped down on his cock. "Oh, shit. Fuck!" He started to cum, his cock twitching inside you. "No! Fuck! Not - not here, not yet!"

"Oh, god!" You started to cum again, your juices dripping down his cock and onto his balls. He pressed you against the wall and fucked you harder, his cum spilling out of you and onto the floor. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He grunted, his cock still pulsing inside you. "Oh, fuck, y/n. I'm still … cumming."

He slowly slid out of you and set you down on the floor. You were both panting, trying to catch your breath. "That was ..." you couldn't even form a sentence. You couldn't believe what just happened. You were supposed to be getting the rest of your stuff. And then Draken wasn't supposed to be here. And now you're cumming on his cock. You didn't know what to think or do. "Ken ... I think ..."

He picked you up and carried you to his bed. "Shh, just shh, y/n." He pushed your legs apart and kicked his pants off the rest of the way, laying down on top of you. "Don't talk. Just feel me, y/n." He kissed you again, this time it was slow and passionate. He slid his cock back into you, pumping in and out of you at an even pace. "I love you."

You looked up at him. "Ken." You put your hands on his hips and stopped him from moving. "You can't. You can't say that to me while you're buried balls deep in my cunt. It doesn't count. It doesn't count right now."

"The fuck are you sayin'. It should count more now than any other time. Why the fuck you think I'm saying it righ' now, hah?" He started to move again, his cock hitting your g-spot with every thrust. "I love you, y/n. I always will. You can't change that."

You pulled him closer to you and kissed him again. You didn't want to argue anymore. You just wanted him. "I love you, Ken. I love you, too." He started to fuck you harder, his cock throbbing inside you. You eyes began to roll back into your head. "Fffuhcckk," you moaned as he fucked you deeper. "Oh, fuck. Oh … fuck."

He grabbed your hair and pulled your head back, exposing your neck. He started to bite and suck on it, leaving a trail of hickeys from your collarbone to your ear. "Cum with me, y/n. Cum with me."

You both started to cum together, his cock spurting inside you. He kept fucking you, his cum dripping out of your pussy and onto the bed. "Ken, stop. Stop, Jesus, mercy, uncle. White flag waving!" You laughed and pushed him away and he rolled over onto his back. He was so fucking hot. His chest covered in sweat, his cock still hard and twitching. "Fuck, you're something else."

He chuckled and grabbed your hand, pulling you on top of him. "Hmm … So are you." He pulled you down and kissed you again, his tongue exploring your mouth. You felt so happy. You forgot how good it was with him. How perfect it was. How in sync you were with each other. "I love you."

You laid on top of him, listening to his heart beating. "I love you. I love you, too."

"So." He said quietly.

"Mm?" It was all you could muster at this point.

"Unpack your shit and bring the rest of it over. You live here. You live with me now." You could feel him smiling against the top of your head.

You looked up at him. "Ken. You can't be serious. I can't ...""Yes, you can. You will. Not letting you go again." He kissed the top of your head and picked up the key you sat down on his nightstand, slipping it back into your hand.

@arlerts-angel @kazutora-kurokawa @southside-otaku @viburnt @katshimizuu @darkstarlight82

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev smut #tokyo revengers draken #draken #draken x you #draken x reader #tokyo revengers x you #tokrev x you #tokrev smut #tokrev x reader #tokrev x y/n #ken ryuguji x reader #ken ryuguji x you #ken ryuguji x y/n

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randomness-is-my-order · 4 months

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from the start, i’ve mainly been praising the show and have spoken against the minor nitpicks but i think some constructive criticism won’t go amiss. i’m always going to advocate for praise + critique but since literally all my posts praise the show (character-work, writing, directing, cinematography, literally all aspects) i’ll focus on the main issues i have with it for this one.

i’m only saying this because i do think there is merit to the conversation: yes, i agree with many other people saying the show has a very real lack of tension. the stakes are established, potential horrific consequences are alluded to, but the instances in which the action needs to take place falls short. i wanted to see percy and annabeth and grover SHOWING their inexperience through stumbling on traps (which would automically raise the tension in both medusa’s lair and the lotus casino), i wanted them to make mistakes and quick-think their way out of it. sure, there’s something to be said about conveying annabeth’s intelligence but aunty em was a great way of highlighting percy & annabeth’s dyslexia by having them be unable to read the signs. the statues could have been removed from the yard–a move that would show medusa’s intelligence instead. similarly, the fun of the lotus casino was about the creepiness that slowly and steadily builds on the backdrop of this harmless kid carival like setting. percy, annabeth and grover’s intelligence and knowledge has already been built in other obstacles so seeing them actually fall for well-set traps seems to me like a much more nuanced portrayal of the kids, their capabilities but also their weaknesses. speaking of, i was waiting for one moment of annabeth making some mistake, showing some flaw. i think it would have been cool if she was the one to lose her drachma given that she was undoubtedly jostled hard while clinging to the cerberus. grover already felt like he messed up after the lotus casino and having percy reassure annabeth after her drachma screwup would really nail in that yeah she’s intelligent and wise but she is also just 12 and she can be a bit reckless too.

honestly, i’m a sucker for flaws. i love my emotional percabeth bits to death but would i have rejoiced just as much had both of them been a little more unempathetic towards each other and been at each other’s throats for a few more episodes? yes.

i love show grover and his earnestness and savagery in manipulating a god but do i love my little coward goat boy who slowly but surely proves himself to be capable and brave? who keeps asking for food at the most inopportune moments but really has percy’s back at the end of the day? who is severely unconfident but slowly learns to trust himself more? yes! i just feel like the grover we have now was my imagining of grover in book 2-3. we never got to see his major flaws so i’m just wondering what kind of upward arc will he have and will it be as impressive as the books.

i really really appreciated that percy’s impertinence was actually something he paid a price for. it will make his continued rebellion against the gods that much more intentional. that said, i would have liked percy’s relative ignorance of the mythic world to still remain. having sally make him so prepared that he sometimes manages to know obscure greek stories sort of blends their roles in the trio. yes, each one of them is layered and there is no one super rigid position they must adhere to but this is storytelling on television at the end of the day, the characters should have unique traits to distinguish themselves. for me, percy’s intelligence was about his presence of mind and deductive reasoning which the lotus casino scene in the book beautifully portrays. similarly, his knowledge was less about facts he knew and more about the street smarts he had acquired. in some way, annabeth and percy have a weird overlap in characteristics (show annabeth feels as sassy as show percy which is not the book dynamic imo).

i don’t see these as minor nitpicks btw – i think show portrayals have changed these characters through small changes and while that is okay, it also leaves room for improvement before it is too late. there are many considerations to be made–percy’s grief, annabeth’s tackling of complex feelings about the gods, grover’s guilt, ofc. but it’s, i think, a valid critique of the show that the main trio’s dialogue and actions could be made more faithful to the books.

also, i think the direction can be more dynamic, especially in exposition-heavy scenes. there are ways to make info-dumping fun and i’m sure the directors are more than capable of exploring these options moving forward.

there are many more smaller things i would point out but i don’t want to make this longer that it already is. many people handwave alot of the critique saying that the show is for children to which i say: children’s media doesn’t mean lesser quality media–the books were literally made for children yet on tv, many scenes are sanitised, very little left not on-the-nose. i have myself mentioned how certain scenes could be impossible to film with 12 yr olds (medusa beheading) without harming them mentally in some way so i appreciate the clever sanitization there. but the action sequences do need much more edge and that’s okay to acknowledge. the show we have now is great but it is absolutely not without flaws and normalising discussion about the flaws is only going to benefit the show moving forward.

and lastly, rick might be the author of the books but there is no rule that once you like an author’s work, you will have to like all of that author’s writing. just because rick made some final decisions does not take away the fandom’s rights to question those decisions and critique the screenwriting. there is seriously no use putting him on a pedestal–and i say this as someone who adores his writing in pjo.

let’s let the fandom breathe a little. let the mild, politely conveyed critique become commonplace as much as the ardent praise because i think that’s the balance we need to ensure that season two delivers on all the fronts that season one was unable to.

that’s all. thanks for reading lol. have a nice day. :))

#pjo #pjo fandom #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy pjo #pjo tv adaptation #pjo tv series #walker scobell #annabeth chase #grover underwood #pjo tv spoilers #pjo tv crit

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mncxbe · 6 months

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aku x virgin female reader? 👉👈

OH my goodness yes- I inhaled your request. Here it is hope you enjoy it♡ I actually made Aku a soft dom for once^^

𝑺𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒓 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒚♡

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎! 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: smutty smut♡/ pussydrunk Aku

You've been in a relationship with Akutagawa for close to a year now and between the two of you, you were the more experienced one; from all points of view.

You were the one who helped him open up about his issues, who had a mature approach whenever his bad temper got the best of him- which would've otherwise ended up with him accidently starting a conflict- who taught him how to love and allow himself to feel loved. There was no aspect of your relationship that he was "better" at. Or so he thought.

One Sunday morning, one of the rare occasions when he wasn't summoned for work, you plopped yourself beside him on the linen couch; chunky cup of coffee held tightly in one hand as you pried your book open with the other. A soft chuckle rolled past your boyfriend's lips as he watched you struggle to turn the smooth pages.

As if sensing his eye on you your gaze playfully drifted to the side, meeting his for a brief second.

"What?" you asked, voice laced with honey as you quirked a brow.

"Nothing. Just looking at you. Can't I look at my sweet girlfriend?" His tone mimicked your own, causing you to giggle. You weren't used to your boyfriend being in such a playful mood; maybe it was the early hour or the fact that he finally had a free day, away from the stress caused by work, but you swore you could get used to this.

You held his gaze for a moment, teeth lightly nipping at your bottom lip as you rose the mug to your lips and took a sip of your coffee.

Just when Akutagawa thought you weren't going to add anything, returning his focus on the glowing screen of his phone, you spoke up.

"You're not a virgin, right?"

Your boyfriend was obviously taken aback by your question; his eyes snapped back at you and he coughed, levelling his voice.

"Come again?"

"I asked if you were a virgin? Like you know, if you fucked anyone before me."

There it was, that colourful language of yours that he still wasn't fully used to. Although surprised by your inquiry, the matter of fact tone of your voice completely threw him off.

"I know what a virgin is Y/N. And yea, I've been with other people before on occasion. Why do you-"

And then it hit him.

"Wait, you're a virgin!?" he voiced, eyes widening in surprise as you slowly nodded. He'd always assumed you've had sex before; you never shied away from intimacy, always willing to land him a helping hand when he was in need- or your sweet mouth. And thruthfully there hasn't been a time when you didn't manage to coax his orgasm in a matter of minutes; you just did too good of a job. Naturally, he thought you were experienced.

The thought of being your first fueled Akutagawa with a burning desire. Naturally, he was already looking forward to having sex with you, but being your first time ever? Being one step ahead with something? Getting to experience this moment with you?~ it was like his prayers were being answered. It was his chance to prove himself to you.

Lips curling into an amused smile, his slender fingers trailed up your thigh, drawing loose, soothing circles on your skin.

"Well, whenever you wanna do it just let me know. I promise it'll be okay, you can trust me with this" he reassured you, giving your thigh a squeeze.

You only nodded in response and without wasting a second set down the coffee cup by the foot of the couch.

"Okay. Let's do it now."

"Wait now, now? Like..."

"Yea, silly." you chuckled, rolling your eyes as you moved closer to him. Your boyfriend discarded his phone on the little wooden table beside the couch and shifted, allowing you to crawl onto his lap. His lips found yours, fingers tangling in your silky locks to deepen the kiss.

Your palms came to rest on his shoulders, nails digging lightly into his muscles when you felt his ice cold hands slipping under your tank top, gently sliding up your bare back.

When you pushed yourself flush against him, soft chest pressed snuggly against his, Akutagawa let out a low moan. He moved your panties aside and dipped two fingers into your sopping cunt, gently working you open for him.

A whine rolled past your lips at the sudden intrusion and you rose our hips but he quickly guided you back down on his fingers.

"Just take it f'me ok?" he mumbled between kisses and you nodded, earning a shower of praises from him. And oh, how well he knew how his words affected you, how you clenched like a vice around his fingers whenever he called you his good girl, his sweet angel.

After a few minutes the aching in his cock became unbearable. Sliding his shorts off his hips he tossed them on the ground before taking himself out of his underwear.

"So, how do you wanna do this babe?" he asked, feigning a nonchalant attitude as he traced his thumb over his leaking slit, spreading precum on the tip.

You took off your soaked lingerie, straddling his hips. "Think I wanna take it at my own pace for now. Is it ok?"

"Of course. Go ahead" he nodded, helping you allign his cock to your entrance before slowly sinking low until he bottomed out.

It took all the self restraint he had for Akutagawa not to cum the second your gummy walls wrapped around him, squeezing him like a vice.

"God baby you're so tight f-fuck" he groaned, eyelids fluttering; his hands took a gentle hold of your hips, waiting for a sign from you.

The stretch was more intense than you imagined, his dick splitting you open so well. Heat pooled into your core and you eventually started rolling your hips against his.

Choked moans and whines rolled past your lips as you placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself. Your boyfriend's grip on your waist tightened as he guided your motions.

"You just enjoy it dear. Gonna take good care of you" he babbled out and you allowed yourself to relax under his touch.

Akutagawa was doing his best to hold back, to take you easy and treat you softly; but the more you tightened around him, the harder it was. The cocktail of pleasure building up inside him was only increased by your actions; one shot of you moaning out his name like your only prayer, two shots of your pretty eyes rolling in the back of your skull as you fiercly dug your nails into his chest, leaving burning marks. An ounce of you bouncing on his dick, pretty tits squeezed by your lace trimmed tank top

He suddenly flipped you over, pushing your head into the arm of the mattress as his other hand hoisted up your hips.

"Ryuu what're you~" you mewled but were cut off by his deep thrust.

His words were slurred as he picked up the pace, ramming himself into your sopping hole "Shh baby just wanna take you like this oH god..."

The new position allowed him to reach your sweetest spots. Each of his thrusts was pure extasy, a drug you swore you could get hooked on; his hips smacking against your ass as pushed you closer to your release. Your manicured nails clawed at the linen armrest, rubbing against the rough material, lightly heating up the tips of your fingers.

"Fuck baby I'm gonna cum" you cried out, tears pooling at your lashline as you squeezing your eyes shut.

Akuatagwa's fingers slid between yours, gripping the back of your hand.

"Go ahead 'n cum pretty. Make a mess on me mkay?"

And then you came hard; your walls clenched around his cock, milking him of all he's worth as he let out a shaky groan. Your hand grew limp in his and you slowly closed your eyes.

When he eventually pulled out and tucked himself back in his slacks, a worried look painted itself on his face.

"Y/N are you ok?" he asked softly, leaning over your frame to brush a few stray strands of hair from your damp forehead only to reveal your impish smile.

"Yea... I feel amazing" you cooed, earning a giggle from him.

"Guess I tired you out, pretty."

Nodding, you dangled your arm off the side of the couch as you made space for him to join you.

"Come and rest with me for a while"

Your boyfried complied and, with a smile, cuddled himself up against you, relishing the heat and softness of your body and you both fell asleep; just when the sun was starting to shine its honeyed rays through the living room's tinted windows.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd fluff #bsd smut #akutagawa x reader #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa x you #akutagawa smut

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genderkoolaid · 9 months

Note

It's honestly really validating to read your thoughts on butch identity. I kept myself from fully accepting I might be a gay trans man for a long time because being a butch woman was so integral to my identity (I wept after finishing Stone Butch Blues. It was like being seen for the first time) and I hated that it felt like there was no way I could be both. So I was sort of performing trans man comphet and trying to convince myself I liked women just so I wouldn't lose that word. There's so much gender nuance to being butch that I feel like gets lost when we only focus on the sexuality aspect of it.

"There's so much gender nuance to being butch that I feel like gets lost when we only focus on the sexuality aspect of it." Yes!!!!!!

I came out very young (elementary school) as a lesbian, and cut my long hair to a pixie in the same year. And then shortly after began realizing was I was trans as well. I spent essentially my entire life being visibly queer and visibly queer-masculine a lot of the time. And this affected so much, because I latched onto "butch" extremely young and that became my model for my gender. I never shaved largely because, due to reading about butches, I felt that it was part of my path, even though I also knew it distanced me from others. My sense of masculinity and masculine fashion has always been deeply butch, regardless of my gender. Its such a deep and integral part of me and has been my whole life. I truly feel that I can't not be butch. I don't relate to a lot of "female socialization" both due to being autistic and being visibly queer; I always knew that, while being categorized as "girl," I was also never going to be a "real girl," and everyone knew that. Becoming a butch adult felt more natural than puberty.

Which is why its so annoying that people center butchness on sexuality, and specifically romantic-sexual attraction to femmes!!!! Because while I have, in fact, dated femmes (arguably I dated too many cis femme women who I felt I had to walk on ice around to avoid scaring them with my butch gender), like I said, my butchness is a natural part of me. Being queer is a part of being butch, but the way we talk about butchness makes me feel like people can only view it existing in relation to romance (and femmes). And obviously because of radfeminism, trans men & mascs' unique relationships with butchness have been largely ignored in any way besides "I used to be butch, but now I'm a Normal Straight Man!" & also the general erasure of transmasculinity in lesbian history. Lesbian spaces have always been a haven for trans people, because for a long time in the West, your options were generally "move to a new town and go completely stealth for as long as possible" or "find your local lesbians and be a dyke within a community." There's a reason "butch" has always held so much gender nuance. Radclyffe Hall, who wrote the famous lesbian book The Well of Loneliness, has been argued to have been transmasculine- but the idea that butches may truly call into question the gender binary causes too much anxiety, so we have to constantly re-affirm that butches are above all else women. I'm a firm believer that butch4butch relationships have long been a way for gay trans men to indulge their desire for men within the context of lesbian identity (because all the trans guys are fucking each other and always have been).

Anyways. yeah. let butches exist beyond our sexuality. Understand that "butch" carries so much color and cannot be reduced down to a simple binary concept.

(Also anon, if you haven't, you should read this article about transmasculine comphet wrt gayness).

#please read The Transgender Craze Seducing Our [Sons] btw its so good #m.#ask box

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elsaqueenofstress · 1 year

Text

the daisy jones and the six series changing the interviews to be 20 years later instead of closer to 40 years feels like such a weird, superficially aesthetic choice, where they get to keep the young, attractive actors (how did none of them age a day except graham??) instead of committing to the fact that these people are only able to reflect on these events because there's so much distance from them and they have perspective now (though it also means that memories are contradictory, contributing to the lack of reliability). it also does a massive disservice to camila, who instead of getting to live a long, happy life with her husband who stated that he always loved her and would always choose her, is basically turned into the second coming of the mother from how i met your mother – a pit stop to give the main, important man some kids to tell a story to before dying so he can be with his real soulmate before they're too old for it to be sexy

i feel like too many people (mainly daisybilly shippers) are conflating the "unreliable narrator" aspect of the book with "oh, no one told the truth about anything so we can make up our own completely different story and have it be canon!" instead of understanding that while there were probably times that the interviewees lied, a lot of what jumbles up their memories is the time that has passed, the weed that was smoked, and their personal feelings toward certain events (why you get daisy and billy gushing over the aurora cover that highlights only them while everyone else talks about how much the shoot sucked) (oh and the fact that reviews are mentioning that the rest of the band rarely appears in scenes w/o daisy or billy?? meaning that the series did what the characters in the book were constantly complaining about and relegated them to backup?? i must laugh to keep from crying) (also if they weren't even going to focus on everyone, why the fuck didn't they keep pete?)

#daisy jones and the six #djats #daisy jones #billy dunne #camila dunne #karen sirko #riley keough #sam claflin #camila morrone #suki waterhouse #daisy x billy #karen x graham #djats spoilers #notes #me proving my own point by not tagging the boys oops #it's why i can't entirely get behind the theory that daisy and billy hooked up and lied to julia about it #mostly because billy told her about sleeping with different women every night and snorting heroin while her mother was pregnant with her #and both of them were embarrassingly honest about their attraction to one another #so why would THAT be the line lmao

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youthofpandas · 4 months

Text

Emil Sinclair & Frau Eva

A consistent problem I’ve run into while discussing the novel Demian is the rejection of Emil’s relationship with Eva in favor and treating it as if it is nothing but a tool to analyze the relationship that he shares with Demian. People treat his feelings towards Eva as fake, imagined, and entirely as misplaced affections that he holds towards Demian and become quite defensive when told that isn’t the case in the actual text of the book. I’m no stranger to interpreting things in ways that don’t quite match canon, especially when they make me uncomfortable, and it is clear to me that discomfort or even disgust is how a lot of people view this relationship as given the age gap between them and the general preference for seeing Emil with Demian instead of Eva. I have no problems with that aspect of this little debate, discomfort is more than allowed and I’m not writing this to force people into liking the idea of their relationship.

What I am writing this for, and what I do find a problem with, is the way that people attempt to force an erasure of this aspect of the book and will accuse people of misreading the novel when acknowledging its existence. To say that someone does not understand the book or Emil’s character because they made reference to his love for Eva or his general affinity for mature women just seems to signal that there is a confusion of what the book actually says. Emil does love Eva and it is not misplaced love for Demian. From the moment he dreams of her to the moment Demian passes a kiss from his mother to Emil, Emil loves her. (That doesn’t mean he doesn’t also love Demian, by the way, but this post/essay isn’t about that, so I won’t be dwelling on the feelings he holds for Demian).

This is not going to be a complete, in-depth look at her character and role in the story and will instead simply focus on the actual relationship Emil has with her throughout the story and the ways that the novel sets up their relationship and makes it explicitly clear what sort of relationship exists between them. I feel it has been a massive disservice to her character to view her as nothing more than a woman getting in the way of a relationship or as if all of the quite beautiful descriptions of her person and effect on Emil are inconsequential and/or imagined, so I hope that this does some justice to Hesse’s work.

All quotes taken from the translation of the novel done by W. J. Strachan.

To begin, I will actually be talking about Max Demian himself, because Eva can be understood through son as he acts as a bit of a proto-Eva in Emil's life. They have a similar appearance, as it is often noted, they both bear the ‘sign’, they are deeply linked to Emil’s personal growth and relationship with the world, so to get a full grasp of his relationship with Eva it is also important to look at how he sees Demian and the key overlaps between them. So, let's look at one of the descriptions Emil writes of his dear friend.

This remarkable boy seemed older than he looked; he did not in fact seem like a boy at all. He moved among us more childish members of the school strangely mature, like a man, or rather a gentleman. He was not popular; he took no part in games, still less in the general rough and tumble and it was only the firm self-confident tone he adapted in his attitude towards the masters that won him favour with the other boys. He was called Max Demian.

Note how it focuses on his age and maturity, even though he is literally a couple years older than Emil, spiritually, thematically, he is older than even that. He is like a man, an adult. Here's a similar passage from another moment where Emil describes his friend:

I saw Demian's face and remarked that it was not a boy's face but a man's and then I saw, or rather became aware, that it was not really the face of a man either; it had something different about it, almost a feminine element. And for the time being his face seemed neither masculine nor childish, neither old nor young but a hundred years old, almost timeless and bearing the mark of other periods of history than our own.

Once again we see that he is more than a child, Demian is aged, grown, but not old nor young. In contrast to Emil who is youthful and immature, someone who has not yet begun his true journey. Here we also see a hint at there being a feminine element to Demian. Demian represents not just the fact that he is mature and capable of leading Emil through the spiritual journey he so longs for, but that he is not limited to just one world. He is not stuck in the dichotomy of light and dark, of masculine and feminine, of age and youth, he is both and neither.

Continuing the subject of maturity, we can take a look at the moment we share with Alfons Beck, a relationship that Emil describes with "we seemed to have a perfect understanding of each other" and, while a character who does not stay around long, acts as a mentor in the way he teaches Emil to grow up when it concerns sexuality and affections. It isn't long after this moment that Emil begins his venture into the world of darkness and almost loses himself to indulgence and excess of drinking and what have you, but it is clear from the later scenes with Knauer that Emil retains this personal growth surrounding sex and desire.

I heard amazing things; things I would not have thought possible were trotted out as part of everyday reality and seemed quite normal. Alfons Beck had already gained experience of women in his less than eighteen years of life. He had learned, for example, that girls were only out for flirtation and attention, which was all very agreeable but not the real thing. There was more chance of that with mature women. They were much more reasonable. You could talk with Frau Jaggelt who kept the stationer's shop, and a book could not contain all the various goings-on behind her counter. I sat there spell-bound and stupefied. Certainly I could never have loved Frau Jaggelt - but nevertheless it was terrific. There seemed to be hidden springs as least for my seniors, whose existence had never suspected. It all had a false ring about it, a more ordinary and insignificant flavour than love should have, in my opinion, but at all events it was life and adventure and I was sitting next to someone who had actually experienced it and to whom it seemed a normal thing.

By the end of this talk, Emil feels like a boy listening to a man. He understands that in this area he is behind, yet still is drawn to it. Alfons Beck is here, quite clearly, setting up and building upon the themes of maturity, especially that of women. This is very important seeing how it is one of the first times he is so explicit about his feelings regarding sexuality, and it is not by accident that this conversation regards mature, older women.

Another element here is that Emil points out that he finds more passing encounters, attraction without the intent to form a significant relationship, to be not founded in love - or at least the type of love he desires. I point this out because it establishes the idea that the types of relationships and attraction Emil is most interested in are ones that are serious and lasting. Quick, temporary connections excite him, intrigue him, because of course they do, he is a young man away from home and free to explore the world for the first time in his life and he has wants and desires. But, as we will see in his actions towards Eva later on, what he is most interested in a more true kind of love.

I'm going to hop straight to the painting next, as it is the real start of his relationship with Eva. There's a lot with the painting that I don't believe needs to be quoted directly so I've chosen a description of his realization of who it reminds him of.

Then one morning when I awoke from one of these dreams, I suddenly recognized it. It looked so fantastically familiar and seemed to call out my name. It appeared to know me as a mother, as if its eyes had been fixed on me all my life. I stared at the picture with beating heart, the close, brown hair, the half-feminine mouth, the strong forehead with its strange brightness-which it had assumed of its own accord-and I realized that my recognition, my rediscovery and knowledge of it were becoming more and more a reality.

He says after this that it resembles Demian, it was not his features exactly but there is no mistaking the fact that it was ultimately Demian's face. A motherly, matured woman version of Demian. This will later be seen to be the same description he gives Eva, even beyond the fact that he explicitly states that it is her as I'll quote later.

The effects this painting have on him are, as we all know, quite extreme and trigger many contradictory feelings within him. It is obvious that he worships it, he puts it on the wall in a way he can look at the face first thing in the morning, the same way one would look at a lover in bed upon waking up, he cries over it and clearly experiences intense lust and attraction towards the figure depicted in it. He also finds these feelings towards it revolting and terrifying, and would sometimes call it a devil and a murderer. At this point in the story, he still has lingering shame for these sorts of desires, even if he has begun to embrace them in some ways, he hasn’t fully overcome his belief that the world is separated in two halves and as a result views many things in extremes of both the most beautiful parts of the world of the light and the worst of the tempting world of darkness.

But for full context on this painting, we also need to look at the dream in which its subject appeared in, the most important dream of his life that he dreamed of night after night.

This dream, the most important and enduring of my life, followed this pattern: I was on my way to my parents' home and over the main entrance the heraldic bird gleamed gold on an azure ground. My mother walked towards me but when I entered and she was about to kiss me, it was no longer she but a form I had never set eyes on, tall and strong with a look of Max Demian and my painted portrait - yet it was somehow different and despite the robust frame, very feminine. The form drew me to itself and enveloped me in a deep, shuddering embrace. My feelings were a mixture of ecstasy and horror, the embrace was at once an act of worship and a crime. The form that embraced me had something about it of both my mother and my friend Demian and also this embrace violated every sense of religious awe, yet it was bliss. Sometimes I awoke out of this dream with a feeling of ecstasy, sometimes in mortal fear and with a tortured conscience as if I had committed some terrible sin.

Here we see Emil's most important dream: one where he is filled with ecstasy when embracing a figure that is a sort of halfway point between his mother and his friend. I'm going to share another passage from later, when he sees Frau Eva for the first time since childhood.

Sensing my interest in them, she took me into the house, looked out a leather album and showed me a photograph of Demian's mother. I could hardly remember her but now that I had the small photograph before me my heart stood still. It was the picture of my dreams. There she was, the tall, almost masculine figure, looking like her son, but with maternal traits, traits of severity and deep passion, beautiful and alluring, beautiful and unapproachable, daimon and mother, fate and lover. There was no mistaking her! The discovery that my dream image existed on this earth affected me like some fantastic miracle! So there was a woman who looked like that, who bore the features of my destiny! Where was she? Where? And she was Demian's mother!

So, this figure he dreams about, the figure he paints? It is Frau Eva. And we see here that, much like how her son is described as feminine, she is described as masculine. She also is inherently full of contrasts: daimon and mother, beautiful and unapproachable. Frau Eva and Demian follow the same pattern of being opposing natures who exist in one, the deconstruction of the binary and embracing something that is less easy to categorize. They embody the same ideals as Abraxas, of Emil's dreams.

Speaking of Abraxas and Frau Eva, here is his proper introduction to her as an adult.

With eyes moistened with tears I gazed at my painting, absorbed in my reflections. Then my glance dropped. Under the picture of the bird in the opened door stood a tall woman in a dark dress. It was she. I was unable to utter a word. From a face that resembled her son's, timeless and ageless and full of inward strength, the beautiful, dignified woman gave me a friendly smile. Her gaze was fulfillment, her greeting a homecoming. Silently I stretched out my hands towards her. She took them both in her warm. firm hands. "You are Sinclair. I recognized you at once. Welcome!" Her voice was deep and warm. I drank it up like sweet wine. And now I looked up and into her quiet face, the black unfathomable eyes, at her fresh, ripe lips, the open, queenly brow that bore the 'sign.' "How glad I am!" I said and kissed her hands. "I believe I have been on my way here the whole of my life and now I have reached home at last." She gave a motherly smile.

Eva makes her entrance quite literally alongside the painting of Abraxas Emil painted not long after he put a name to the face of the painting he made of her. He describes this as reaching home, incredibly important to him after he has been feeling so outcast from the home he grew up in. And he loves her deep voice, her quiet face that resembles her son's, and her friendly, motherly smile.

Eva and Abraxas, the god he worships and adores, are linked beings. This all builds on to the Demian and Cain, Eva and Eve connections. Eve the mother of both Cain the murderer and Abel the victim, Eve the woman born of God who spoke to the Devil and committed the first sin (which to bearer's of the Sign was surely not a sin), is now properly linked to Abraxas and it all feeds quite well into a similar theme. Eva is mother and she is home.

Eva is the origin of Demian, an embodiment of his ideals with even more maturity, she created the one who created Emil in a manner of speaking. She truly represents a world that is not divided into light and darkness, the very world that Emil chases after and wishes to believe in. It only makes sense, then, that he would find her so attractive and want her, desire her. By this point, so late into the novel, Emil is quite grown up, literally and spiritually, compared to the young, lost boy he was at the start. He has accepted sexual desires, accepted the world is complex and rejected many of the beliefs he held as a child, and he wants Eva the way any grown man might.

But, of course as we established earlier, Emil wants more than a passing encounter fueled by lust. He wants a real kind of love. And when he has gotten to know her and understand her as a real person rather than just a figure in his dreams, he writes the following, detailed, heavily romantic, filled with yearning and love passage:

On many occasions I believed that it was not really just her as a person, whom I yearned for with all my being, but that she existed as an outward symbol of my inner self and her sole purpose was to lead me more deeply into myself. Things she said often sounded like replies from my unconscious mind to burning questions which tormented me. There were other moments when as I sat beside her I was consumed with sensual desire and kissed objects which she had touched. And little by little sensual and transcendental love, reality and symbol mingled together. As I thought about her in my room at home in tranquil absorption, I felt her hand in mine and her lips touching my lips. Or I would be conscious of her presence, look into her face, speak with her and hear her voice, not knowing whether she was real or a dream. I began to realize how one can be possessed of a lasting and immortal love. I would gain knowledge of a new religion from my reading, and it would give me the same feeling as a kiss from Eva. She stroked my hair and smiled with all her warm affection, and I had the same feeling as when I took a step forward in knowledge of my inner self. Her person embraced everything that was significant and fateful for me. She could be transformed into each one of my thoughts and each of my thoughts could be transformed into her.

This paragraph here always sticks with me, the way his love transcends reality. It mirrors the way that Demian's existence is questionably real, that the moments he shared with the Demian family are somewhere fundamentally between imagined and real. Does she kiss him or is it imagined? It hardly matters, because reality and symbol are mixing together and becoming one and the same. These are his manifestations, these are his calls to the world to make his love true. And that love is so true in his heart he can hardly tell when it is real.

Also I just want to point out how cute he is when he's in love... kissing the things that belong to her, linking his learning and his growth as a person to her. It is similar to his behavior with Beatrice, in that this woman is helping inspire him to improve upon himself, but now it is not the desperate clutch to an unknown figure as a guiding light he can never speak to, it is a woman who pulls answers from his own mind, a woman who exists as a symbol of his inner self. Frau Eva, again just like Demian, is an extension of Emil's self and soul.

Alright, so I have now established Emil's feelings towards Frau Eva, but what of her feelings towards him? This following passage comes immediately after the one before

When I arrived back at H-- I stayed away from her for two days in order to savour this security and independence from her physical presence. I had dreams too in which my union with her was consummated in a symbolic act. She was a star and I was a star on my way to her, and we met and mutually attracted, remained together and circled round each other blissfully in all eternity to the accompaniment of the music of the spheres. I told her this dream on my first visit on returning. "It is a lovely dream," she said quietly, "Make it true!"

Emil tells her that he had a dream of the two of them in which they consummated their union (which, just to make this abundantly clear, means having sex. there is no getting around that fact) through a symbolic act of entwining around each other for all of eternity and Frau Eva tells him to make it true. She tells him, explicitly, that this dream he has of them making love is lovely and that he should work on making it happen in reality. This is of course a further extension of her trying to help Emil manifest a kind of mutual attraction between them through his extended longing and deep, honest desires. While she does not currently reciprocate the romantic affections he has for her, she is clear about being open to the idea of that one day being the case.

Let's also look at this bit, which is mostly about Sinclair's affections towards her but provides a bit of a conclusion to this theme of manifesting her love.

One day this foreboding came over me with such force that my love for Eva flared up suddenly and caused me great pain. My God, what a short time I had left; soon I should no longer be seeing her, no longer hearing her good, assured step about the house, no longer finding her flowers on my table! And what had I achieved? I had luxuriated in dreams and comfort instead of winning her, instead of struggling for her and clasping her to me forever! Everything she had told me about true love came back to me, a kindred stirring, admonitory messages, and as many gentle promises and words of encouragement, too, perhaps; and what had I made out of it all? Nothing. I stood in the middle of the room, summoned my whole conscious being and thought of Eva. I wanted to gather all the power of my soul in order to make her aware of my love and attract her to me. She must come; she must long for my embrace, my kisses must tremble on her ripe lips.

Emil is realizing that despite her encouragements and his continued love for her, he has never truly spent the energy required to make his love reciprocated. These things, him wanting her be his forever, him wanting to kiss her so much that he shakes, to attract her to him so that she desires him in the same way that he does her... those are the things Eva wanted him to manifest. Now, this also makes it clear that for as much time as they spent together (the book mentions that Max was out for long stretches of time, leaving Emil alone with Eva for the majority of his days there), they did not get to do any of the things he wanted so passionately AND that she had still be encouraging him to manifest this.

And does she get this message? Yes! She does, only there is The War starting and so she does not go herself to him, but she does tell him that she heard his appeal and to do it again if he should ever need her.

Now, let's talk about the ending of the book, about the kiss.

"And there is something else. Frau Eva said that if things ever went badly with you, I was to pass on a kiss from her which she gave me … Close your eyes, Sinclair." I closed my eyes in obedience. I felt the brush of a kiss on my lips on which there was a bead of blood that never seemed to diminish. Then I fell asleep.

Demian (who is made clear to be a hallucination or a purely spiritual being at this moment, regardless of what you believe his regular appearances are that of a real actual boy or a reflection of Emil's self or a mixture of the two. in this scene he is a dream-like being existing from Emil's mind here to help conclude the narrative) passes on a kiss that his mother gave to him. Eva wanted to give this kiss to Emil after all of those appeals he made for her love, and uses Demian as a vessel to give this to him.

Now I am absolutely not here to deny any sort of queerness in this moment, in the fact that it is not Eva herself who appears but rather Max. What I am trying to say is that Eva and Max are linked people, especially in the mind of Emil, and therefore it makes thematic sense for the boy who had introduced him to the world of the enlightened and to the woman he would come to love to be here in this quiet, scary moment and pass on a message from his mother. I am trying to say that denying that this kiss is even the slightest bit from Eva and 100% Max's moment is ignoring her entire character and a large, large portion of Emil's.

I could’ve gone on for longer, I skipped over the story she tells Emil of the man in love with a star and how that star eventually came to love him in return and how Frau Eva is his star. His last description of her before leaving for the war is about the myriad of stars glowing in the night sky and it is quite romantic, but I feel getting into the star symbolism in Demian would double the length of this and her feelings towards him cannot get any clearer than the part where she encourages consummating their union, which itself is still linked to the star story. This was all done taking passages I remembered off the top of my head and not a full reread of the book, but I feel like this does more than enough to explain my point.

In conclusion: never tell me again that I misunderstood the 1919 novel Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth by Hermann Hesse because I joked about how Emil is into MILFs. He is.

#hermann hesse #demian 1919 #demian #emil sinclair #frau eva #demian (1919)

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awarmbowlofhomemadesoup · 5 months

Text

How to Build Resilience in Long Fanfic Writing

Sometimes, when a fanfic goes past 20 chapters, people who had been commenting, began to lose interest. Maybe you'll start doubting your skill or whether you "have what it takes" to be a writer, even if you're doing it for fun.

But maybe you see all those beautifully written but unfinished long fics and mourn that they'll never be finished (for the writer's valid reason or another). And you don't want that to happen to yours.

There is also an advantage to completing long fics: you develop the discipline to write original novels which can take far longer.

So if you're in for the long haul and you want to stay steady and true despite whatever popularity your fic may have, here's how to have the resilience to finish it to the end.

(Disclaimer: this is not a reason to stop commenting on fics)

#1 Whatever You Think You're Owed, Let It Go.

Accidentally quoting Elsa aside, I'm talking about comments. Comments validate and can make you learn new things about your fics through other people's eyes.

But when you see a high-to-low ratio between kudos and comments, you may feel like you are owed.

When you push yourself to complete three long chapters and publish them all in the same day and only get one response, it can feel like people are being mean.

The truth is, we'll never know why the people who loved our fics will not talk to you about them.

Maybe they forget there's a person behind the fic.

Maybe they're having a bad day and just want to shut down after reading something enjoyable.

But whatever the case is, it's beyond your control.

This post said it best (shoutout to @radioactive-earthshine) :

"Remember - hits/likes/kudos/comments are not reflective of the quality of your fic or your ability to write. Most people just don’t comment - even if they say they do, they don’t... Even if your fic brought tears to their eyes and it haunted them for weeks and they printed it out and sent it to their friends they just don’t comment. You just have to accept it.

I'm not saying you force yourself to let it go now. But someday, you will need to let it go, and control what you can which is you.

#2 Put Your Life First Before Your Readers

I have to say this because sometimes writers would have thoughts like "I haven't written for a long time; people must be wondering about it." Nope. Stop. Not worth it.

Creating is fun, but it is also exhausting. Add into the fact that most of us have 8-hour jobs or classes.

The reason you haven't written for a long time is that other aspects of your life deserve your time and energy, too. And after all that, you would be understandably tired.

So put your life first before your readers.

#3 Make Preparations to Replenish Your Soul

Long fanfic writing is energy and time-consuming. But you cannot depend on external validation to make up for it.

External validation in the form of comments can be good because we don't want to imagine it's all in our heads. But seeking it too much leads to what I've read in the book, "Ego is the Enemy":

"If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life."

So before posting a chapter, list down what you can do to replenish your soul after. Treating myself to a cafe one time helped. So is taking walks when the air is cool.

To stop anticipating responses too much, what works for me is to post on Wednesday. Wednesday is when people are less busy. At the same time, when the weekend comes, I don't obsess over it so much and can focus on other aspects of my life or replenish my energy for the next week.

In the commitment to complete a long fic, it's important to be honest with yourself. This is to be transparent with your needs and watch out for any signs of burnout, like feeling sad and tired. If you need to walk away from your fic for a while, then do it.

#3 This is Between You and Your Creation

Yes, fandom should be two-way street. Yes, fandom shouldn't treat fanfics and fan arts like commodity. And yes, there should be interaction and engagement. But before all that, there is this thing between you and your creation first and foremost.

Just as a story has to have a "why", remember why you thought you should write your long fic. Your reason may change over time, but when you remember your "why", you remember your true goal to keep going.

#4 Write like No One is Reading

This is a perk I adapted when I only get two responses if I'm lucky after updating a fic that has more than a hundred subscribers. If people barely react, then you're free to write whatever you please in your story as if you're dancing like no one is watching. Just have fun improving your skills.

This is similar to an inspiring section of the same post that I've found:

"10.) Write for yourself, not for others. Write the fic you know no one is going to read. Write the fic that sounds ridiculous. You will be so happy you put it out in the world and there will be people who will be glad it exists."

#5 Cherish the Rare Friends You Find Along the Way

Sometimes, we get lucky and get something better than a hundred people interacting with our fic -we find a friend we would make in the way of writing the long fic that we dared to write. And they're the ones who would cheer you on and cry and laugh with you about the shared stories. Cherish them.

(dedicated to @lightreader1)

#archive of our own #ao3 #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction.net #ao3 fanfic #fic

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