nightmares in an empty house.
pairings. finnick odair x fem!reader
summary. after winning the games, you feel yourself going insane in victors village till a certain someone helps you cope
warnings. swearing, sexual themes
ricky rocks. this idea has been in my head for along time and i didn’t really do any of it justice 😕😭
the room smelt of bleach and cinnamon.
your hair was tied in a knot as you scoped out the entree way, dropping your luggage and belongings to the floor with the fall of your shoulders who were still tense and full of pressure in silent agony.
scoping, a lie. you hadn’t paid enough attention to consider your wandering eyes scoping. you were only trying your best to swallow whole of the situation you were presented in.. but it was like trying to swallow a whole jar of peanut butter at once… rather difficult.
you sighed, laying the palm of your cold, clammy hand upon your hot sweaty forehead, squinting at the rather bright kitchen, concealed by the dark entry way. with no lights on and no windows (aside from the small ones built into the door) you were left to the dark, allowing it to swallow you whole. and you allowed it, finally facing the fact and becoming content that you were finally and utterly alone.
you hadn’t been fully aware of it until now.
before, you used to be fully present within the close gathered district four, active and full of energy as you worked your ass off to make ends meet in order to stay afloat. you had made friends, acquaintances, and kissed more than you could count and only for it all to go down the drain.
where you were secluded now. kept away from your old but happy nature, leaving you for the new one to take over without your own control. your new nature. that’s what it was. capitol parties, other victors, new acquaintances but never any friends because you could no longer see yourself get close with anyone. dresses, nice clothes, good food, riches, everything one could dream of was now open for grabs, just for you.. but you wanted none of it.
you traveled away from your luggage and out into the kitchen where you were hit with a flood of natural light seeping in through a wall of large windows all next to each other and giving you a view to your backyard of blue.
you swallowed thickly out of overwhelm before you heard the rather obvious sound of your front door opening. the cue coming from the rust old hinges that made you jump quickly, reaching for the gun you had tucked in the back pocket of your jeans.
you were frightful, that being the reason you had raised your gun so quickly to the person who entered into your kitchen without invitation, but the light soon revealed the face of finnick who was quick to throw his hands up in surrender once upon realization you had a gun pointed at his head.
“woah there, cowgirl,” you sighed, slightly rolling your eyes before dropping the gun down with the relaxation of your shoulders, cursing under your breath to his slight smile, “I see you’re settling in well.”
you scoffed, smiling in despair as you laid your hand on your forehead, just wanting to pass on right there. he could feel it; your hurt and your pain. it was something he was familiar with, so so familiar that his own past distress begun to resonate within his chest. he hated it.
“i just wanted to leave this for you,” he coughed, trying to drag away from the awful silence that had consumed the two of you faster than he would have like. he shifted on his feet, leaning toward the small island that was placed in the middle of your kitchen; setting down a white lily. “a house warming gift.”
he tried his best to give you a bright smile, but a thin lipped one came out instead; filled with sympathy. it made you frown harder. you hate sympathy smiles, especially finnicks and that seemed to be the only thing you’ve been getting from him lately.
“try to get some sleep tonight,” he pressed a soft kiss against the side of your head before turning around and withdrawing.
he came back the next day.
you wanted to punch him due to him walking in out of nowhere and throwing your bedroom curtains open, allowing the bright sunlight to eat and consume all corners of your bedroom.
“i’m fine, i just…” you paused, pressing your lips together, trying to rid of the burning sensation that begun to pull at your eyes; tears. “i need you to um, go.”
his eyes lightly gazed over you from where he stood by the window, his face slightly hard and stern, thinking. the sight of you practically drowning in your sheets and pillows made you look innocent and sad.
“you need to get out of bed, sweetheart,” he took a seat on your plush mattress, his hand resting on your legs through the comforter. “let some fresh air in, you need it.”
“finn, please just leave me alone,” you pressed the palm of your hand to your head, rubbing your forehead. “i just want to lay here.”
“that’s not going to do anything good.”
“yeah, and how would you know,” you sniffed, clutching yourself—feeling so cold in your bones and soul, like your whole anatomy was being soaked in ice water. nothing felt right, you couldn’t think straight.
finnick’s tongue pushed into the inside of his cheek, resisting the urge to get annoyed, “i think i would know a little bit about surviving.”
you didn’t say anything. he thought about just walking and leaving you to your sleep, but he felt his chest tighten, knowing that he would have wanted someone there for him after his first games.
he got up from the bed, rounding over and leaning from the other side of the bed to where you laid. you finally saw his face and you wanted to immediately look away, a feeling of guilt and solum hitting your chest hard.
his hand grasped the back of your neck while his head dipped close toward yours, immerse you with his scent and warmth, “i know i’m probably the last person you want to see, but i’m here to help you. i promise.”
“help me sleep then,” you mumbled, not really thinking as your hand loosely grabbing onto his bicep and attempting to pull him closer despite the clear hesitation and resistance he held.
it felt wrong, and he didn’t want to violate a boundary, but with your hand still on his bicep, slowly falling to his hand, you were making things hard.
and he gave in, laying in your bed, right next to you.
“you sure this is okay?”
oh how you didn’t know how this happened; finnick’s body pressed against yours in the foyer with nothing but good intentions that were just sinful.
“yes,” you pressed further into him, reaching for his lips with your own, hoping to drown everything else out, “just kiss me.”
he was hesitant, his eyes searching yours eagerly but he found nothing. your eyes were cold with sad outlines, making you look absent. he laid his rough palm against the side of your cheek, slowly easing his warmth onto you. he knew exactly what you felt, how lonely you were in your very own body and how desperate you were just for someone… someone’s touch and control just so you wouldn’t have to think for yourself.
your eyes fluttered shut and you once again attempt to lean in for a kiss. this time he kissed back, and it seemed like in hindsight, he needed you, not you needing him.
he wanted to make you feel better. wanted your mind to travel elsewhere oppose to where he knew it was exactly right at that moment. he felt it was his responsibility to bring you back stable, even if that required doing something far from right.
you needed help, he wanted to be that help. unfortunately, he was the wrong kind of assistance you actually needed.
his lips cluttered your face, pressing soft kisses that made your stomach twist and turn with what filled like bliss. your head dropped against the back of the wall, small exhales filling the air till you were practically whimpering with his mouth on your neck, his hands grasping every bit of you that he could.
“finn, i need you,” your fingers laced within his hair while you openly spoke without another thought, “please.”
and it was all he needed.
even if he couldn’t take away the nightmares, he could try to take your pain away for just a second.