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ablizmal · 5 months

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I JUST FIGURED IT OUT. the parallels and juxtaposition between the pairs of light+misa vs L+juliette.

something i see heavily in both light and misa —one of the only things they have in common, you could say— is that they both adhere to societal expectations. like… to an excessive extent. you know? they both cling onto it for a semblance of normalcy, to capture that feeling of “i belong, i belong, i belong.”

it’s their crutch. in a life full of alienation (for light, not finding meaning in anything, for misa, the immense loneliness and lack of a social life), at the very least they can have this. although they experience alienation, at least they’re not experiencing total isolation— or worse, ostracization, being disapproved of by others.

(that last sentence would be such an eye opening sentence for someone to analyze if english isn’t their first language… /positive)

getting back on topic, light is a VERY repressed person. in the fucking cherry cola universe (aka death note including my s/i), he’s gay but is so deep in the closet he’s not even AWARE he’s in a closet, it’s all he’s ever known.

besides this (or maybe alongside it???), he’s flamboyant. he really, really is, but in canon, we don’t get to see this as much, which i interpret being due to light adhering to everyone’s expectations of him. idk if this specific facet of toxic gender roles is also prevalent in japan, but i can see light, at a certain age (somewhere from 10-12 years old), noticing adults discomfort at his theatrics and stopping immediately. (he’s kind of a daddy’s boy tbh…)

misa, too, is repressed. you KNOW she would love stuff like horror movies, gothic bands, screamo, metal, and the likes, but she doesn’t. the only interests she has that we’re aware of in canon is the occult and fashion. this is for sure due to the writer of death note’s inherent misogyny in every female character he writes, but if you employ some ingenuity (like me (⟡⸝⸝U_U) *ੈ ‧₊˚ .), you can view misa’s lack of characterization as a foreboding sign that misa isn’t okay.

misa doesn’t have any friends. we know this.

her modeling coworkers aside, the only friend we hear misa talk about is her occult friend, and she never mentions her again past the video tape arc. (yeah, that’s what i’ll call misa’s introduction chapters. why not? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

this coupled with her parents being murdered… misa is desperate for any sort of approval from others. i mean think about it— outside of her modeling career, she doesn’t interact with anyone! she has a room full of personal items (plushes, posters, furniture, etc), which can be completely normal, but for the sake of my headcanons, has accumulated so much from her spending loads of time by herself, in her house, alone. this is the main setting she’s in. of COURSE she’s gonna get bored with the minimalism of it and add her own personal touches!

one of the few forms of self expression she allows herself to have is her fashion, but there’s a well known subculture for that fashion in japan (harajuku, but i’m pretty sure misa’s is gothic harajuku specifically). so, to sum it up— misa has a group of people who understand her fashion sense, therefore she belongs somewhere.

(note: i am NOT insinuating that misa only wears gothic fashion to fit in somewhere. that’s a stupid af take and it just doesn’t fit misa’s vibes to be perfectly honest. what i am saying, however, is that misa freely expresses her unconventional fashion sense because she knows there are others like her. that’s all. (this is likely one of the only unconventional groups of people she’s knowledgeable about.))

i’d even say that misa is highly intelligent, given how she gathered credible evidence that higuchi is the new kira in the yotsuba arc, but she intentionally hides it. why, you ask?

because she knows she’ll be undermined by men, and she seeks approval over anything, she’s substituting it for human connection, so she just… tucks it away. (fuck, maybe she believes that her intellect will be undermined by everyone as a result of the murderer of her parents never being convicted despite her testimonies…)

there’s also a Whole Other Instance (slash personal interpretation) i could bring up here, but i’ll just make that its own post, because this one is already WAY longer than i ever thought it was gonna be.

and we’re only halfway there, boys…

touching upon the thesis of this now pseudo-essay, L and juliette are unconventional. and they don’t care lol.

it’s well known that L doesn’t give a particular shit about how he comes across to others. like the dude’s rich, he could buy whatever clothes he wants, but he chooses to wear his usual clothes because of sensory issues he wants to. his hair is messy and he doesn’t need to comb it because of how short it is, he sits in that gargoyle pose, and he doesn’t hold back on using his deferential vocabulary when the situation permits it.

before the kira case, he would solve cases from a dark room. sounds fine enough… until you hear that there is no furniture in this room and his PC setup is on the floor. 😭

L also is either unaware of social cues or doesn’t care about them, or doesn’t care enough to learn about them, leading to scenes such as:

or him dropping loaded comments like they aren’t as massive as they are.

he admits with no hesitance that he can be childish when it comes to competition. childish… he’s using an insulting word for what it is at its core— a word to describe certain attributes. (he is quite literally ignoring what the conventional intent of the word is.)

likewise, even around the taskforce, he persists in his typical demeanor, what with his stare that bores into your soul, or slunking around in public, hunched over, his appearance coming off as ghoulish with his pale skin and shadowed eyes. (i’m not saying this as a negative, btw, i love his haunting aura,,, 💗∀💗)

and juliette?? juliette embraces the unconventional with every fiber of her being. as long as she’s alive, she will always endorse the unconventional so long as it’s harmless (because what’s wrong with it if it’s not hurting anyone?). they hate the word “normal” being used for non-universal experiences. having a certain blood pressure is normal. there is no such thing as a “normal” hairstyle, that comes down to personal preference.

she LOATHES the enforcement of conformity. it pisses them off to the point that they go out of their way to be even MORE unconventional, as a way of telling closeminded’s, “fuck OFF, there is nothing wrong with us, with people like me, and if you do have a problem with me, then you can kiss my heels, cause they’re landing in your face anyways!”

when it won’t come with bullshit consequences (like being treated unfairly at their job for being open about her genderqueerness :/), she doesn’t bite their tongue. they speak their mind if they hear someone spewing the most terrible of things, whether covertly or not, which is what makes juliette the only person to come to heads with light time and time again. (let’s face it, light is the type of person to get away with saying microagressions, and since he believes he’s right, he drops them way too often. and no one SAYS anything about it because “no no, light does mean it like ~that!~ he’s so RESPECTFUL and KIND :(((((((((((”)

she isn’t afraid to express her joy and wonder, even at the smallest of things. they know they can be ridiculed and judged for it, but they also recognize the importance of small joys, and that significance outweighs ANY judgement that may be hurled her way.

that’s kind of juliette’s whole thing, actually. if anyone judges her for her unconventionality, she says “so? what are you gonna do about it? gonna go into my brain and rewrite everything about me? huh?” jdksjdksjdkajxjs, she can get VERY snarky about this, but they are proving a point, which is “BITCH, who asked?”

light: …you sure do have a unique laugh, juliette.¹

juliette: well, Boy Genius,² what’s a normal laugh then? huh? what is the typical pattern emerging from instinct which creates the phenomenon known as a laugh? present me with evidence. write me about all your findings, since you’re apparently so knowledgeable about this topic. (mockingly tilts head) it shouldn’t be so hard!~ (❀ ˶ ⁍̴̛ ◡ ⁍̴̛˶)

1) just one of light’s MANY casual insults that he can justify away due to plausible deniability.

2) yes, like jimmy neutron. (FUN FACT, i just found out by creating this exchange (and subsequently checking to see if juliette making this reference is possible in ~2003, given the manga’s timeline) that the jimmy neutron series first aired in 2002. i would’ve sworn from vibes alone that it started in 2007, but eh, “the more you know,” amiright??)

(how the fuck do i even get back on topic after that tonal shift)

to summarize,

light and misa are both people who care heavily about what other people think of them. they conform to what’s expected of them, even if that means closing themselves off from potential happiness.

whereas L and juliette are so authentic. okay, well, maybe L isn’t authentic around prime suspect, light yagami, but!! in all the time he’s known light, he still continued to eat sweets and only sweets, y’know?? if it won’t hinder him solving the kira case, L shows up as himself, odd quirks and all (🥰).

L and juliette have discovered the secrets of the universe, that secret being “i am cringe, but i am free.” (✿ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

but it’s not so cut and dry as that, as they have varying degrees… no, different ways that this presents itself.

misa is more likely to be swayed if in the right environment (like how she had a friend who engaged in the occult).

L doesn’t care what others think about him. he is SO uncaring, in fact, that he doesn’t feel the need to explain his behavior.

but light and juliette… they’re in leagues of their own.

light has NO identity beyond what others expect of him. this is one of the reason why he’s depressed at the beginning of the series. he’s become everything everyone’s ever wanted— for his family, he’s the perfect son and brother. for his classmates, he’s the perfect student, the perfect friend, is TOTAL boyfriend material (apparently???¿? i can’t see it lmao).

yet it’s meaningless. everything that’s supposed to be fun, like spending time with friends, going out, karaoke, hobbies, playing games, sports, academics, dating… it’s meaningless to light. it’s too predictable, he’s too smart for it, really… so it’s not his fault. it’s not his fault it’s not entertaining to him! it just so happens that he’s better, and more intelligent, than everyone else.

to cope with his alienation, he shoves himself onto a pedestal, eventually diminishing and forgetting the whole point of such human activities. he spits in the face of humanity.

he’s above it all.

but juliette embraces human life. she loves the humans, and sees the inherent worth in the human experience! she condones recreational activities such as singing, dancing, playing, relaxing. they believe that our connections with others is what makes life worth it, even if it’s connections so complex and distant that you can’t even witness them (think of produce at your local supermarket. they wouldn’t be there if the farmers who grew them didn’t exist).

juliette supports self expression above all else, whether that’s through emotions, music, writing, art… any creative means, really! it’s also why she’s so vehement about presenting the way you want through fashion, or socially, through words (heyo, genderqueer nation (⌐ᗜᴗᗜ)).

i mean, this song is one of juliette’s anthems:

youtube

these beliefs run deep in their bones. she wouldn’t be the same person without them.

in this way, light is the antithesis to juliette. light is the one who lies about himself to others the most. juliette sticks true to themself as much as she can and HATES conformity SO much that she actively spites people who wish to enforce it.

which is why they are at each other’s throats (mostly) through words.

if misa is more easily swayed, then light stands firm in his need to be acceptable to others.

if L is quiet, but content, with his eccentricities, then juliette is loud and open about hers.

#notice that the only time juliette quiets down is if it’s for her safety #it’s a survival mechanism. if the system is unfair then she’ll play the system #lizzie screams #the inner workings of liz #juliette rae ambers #cherry cola chaos

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tinylantern · 9 months

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Star's Rune Factory 3 Special 1st Playthrough, Part 2: Quality of Life

Hello, everyone! Back at it again with blogging my first run of Rune Factory 3 Special and I have a lot to talk about since my last post.

So I've already beaten the second boss AKA Skelefang and the seasons are just about to change from spring to summer. As far as the cast goes, I've already got some characters that I love, some that I despise, and some who my opinions have shifted over time for better or for worse. Definitely the two that stand out for me are Shara and Gaius. Gaius, had he been a datable bachelor, would have been my first choice among the single boys in this game. I'm one of the fandom's resident Arthur simps, I married Martin during my one playthrough of RF5, and "dwarf blacksmith who loves forging so much he forgets to sell his weapons and falls asleep if he lets go of his hammer" meets all the standards that those two have set as some of the franchise's resident workaholics. (Why does this keep happening? Seriously?)

As for Shara, I'm very well aware of all the hate she got in the past for having been pushed as the game's canon candidate and with what I've seen so far... I absolutely love her. Of the available bachelorettes, her personality is by far the least quirky and most down to earth of the girls, and she is just so sweet and kind that one of the only other girls I do find myself interested in romancing is Sakuya. Sakuya is slightly more quirky, but compared to some of her fellow bachelorettes, her personality is probably the most "normal" outside her capitalist tendencies and lack of cooking skills.

And that is the big thing with RF3's cast for me. While RF4 certainly had its quirkier cast members like Porcoline and Illuminata, there are even more of them in RF3 and most in game days I find myself feeling very overwhelmed because many of the villagers are so out there. Even if I don't actually dislike their personality, there are some characters I talk to very sparingly because they're literally too much for me. Prime examples include Marian, Carmen, Sofia, Sherman, and Carlos. Of those, the one I like most is Carmen, but I still find myself not talking to her that much simply because I can't handle how loud she is, which sucks since she seems nice otherwise. (As an aside, I also like Kuruna, but the second I heard that she and Ondorus were childhood friends, my brain went in Directions because I am a sucker for Childhood Friends to Lovers LMAO)

Speaking of comparisons between RF3 and RF4, I do feel awful. I have a fair number of criticisms of RF3S from a gameplay standpoint, but pretty much all of them relate to missing Quality of Life features that were addressed later on in RF4. Stuff like depositing items in the shipping bin, crafting multiples of the same item, the request system, the lack of a fertilizer bin; RF4 ultimately fixed all those minor yet aggravating problems, so claiming that RF3 is the inferior game just because it's lacking those important QoL features, to me, feels very unfair, even if it is affecting my play experience. RF3S, outside those missing QoL features, plays very similarly to RF4S and has a lot of the same features, and whether the story and cast appeal to you is a matter of personal opinion. Overall, it's a solid game and I would recommend it to people who are curious as to how the older Rune Factory games played!

All that said, the biggest thing that has already killed RF3S for a lot of people is the representation; many people have chosen not to buy RF3S because there is no female protagonist option, no datable bachelors, and no same sex marriage, and you know what? It's a perfectly valid reason. As a straight cis woman, my biggest gripe with RF3S is not being able to play as a girl and I'm pretty sure the only reason I'm able to put up with it is because I'm painfully used to it as someone who grew up in an era where the vast majority of game protagonists were straight men. It does help that Micah, much like Frey/Lest and Alice/Ares, has an actual personality and so I don't need to come up with one for him just to enjoy his story or any of his potential romances. He's just a friendly sheep boy trying to put up with the insanity that is the town of Sharance and I 100% vibe with that.

All right, next area is the windy river place. Unfortunately, I have a lot of skills I need to work on, facilities to upgrade, and items to gather. I'm probably going to be grinding for quite a while...

#rune factory #rune factory 3 #rf3 #star plays rf3S

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tangleweave · 2 years

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1. What is your favorite trope to rp?

5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write?

6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse/muses.

7. What is one overrated roleplay trend?

11. Do you welcome duplicates of your character or stay away from them?

13. Is there one trope you can’t stand?

14. What is your opinion on writing smut?

15. What is your opinion on tagging triggers?

17. What makes you insecure about your own writing?

18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

22. Are there any red roleplay flags for you that make you back off immedately?

23. Your favorite fandom to write in?

24. Have you ever left a fandom because of negativity?

25. One thing you’d like new roleplayers to know?

Once I'm done with this list you'll know everything worth knowing about me. 😉 Here we go...

1. The shy and awkward phase of nascent romantic interest, where each muse is just beginning to realize they like the other. I dunno why, I'm just kind of a slut for that.

5. Oh. Wow. Hm. Uh... y'know, I'm fairly confident in my writing skill, and I'd like to think I'm pretty good at finding characters' individual voices (even villains). But, I have trouble finding specifically female voices in my head... and the first one that came to mind for this question was Mystique. I think she's incredible as a character, complex, layered, uncompromising in her beliefs, a badass in every way, but I just don't think I have the chops to write her... not least of which because I don't share her gender. I don't necessarily consider this a deal-breaker, but I am very much aware that womanhood comes with an array of experiences, both biological and societal, which men simply don't have, and I have a hard time imagining I could do proper justice to RPing a woman.

...that's probably a longer answer than you needed.

6. My muses all have stubborn streaks, and martyr complexes. And they're also willing to be goofy when they don't need to have a game face on. In all of these aspects, they reflect facets of me.

7. ABO romance. I'm so very sorry to those of you out there who love that kind of thing, and it's taken me this long to realize it, but I just don't see the appeal. Threads either collapse within ten posts or they go on interminably (I know I've seen at least one out there with something like 400+ notes); there doesn't seem to be any in-between. Obviously the long ones are happy-making for their authors and bless them for that, but... meh?

11. I would gladly welcome duplicates of them, especially Dr. Strange, Spidey, Vision, and Groot. But I've not been approached, and I haven't gone out of my way to seek threads with that express purpose.

13. "Canon character A belongs with canon character B because canon." Bzzzzt! Wrong. I have exactly ONE ship here on Tumblr that has any canon foundation -- coincidentally with the mun who sent me this list of questions!

14. Love it, as long as both writers are consenting adults and not crazypants. I prefer it to be discreet, such as under cuts, or maybe even off Tumblr altogether (Discord is a thing!), but y'know, do what you like, all our muses get horny at some point or another.

15. AN ABSOLUTE MUST. No debate will be entertained.

17. Re-reading it too many times. I eventually find something about it I dislike enough to try and go back and change it, when it was perfectly fine the way it was before.

18. Uhh... RP? 😂 It'll happen sometimes where people are posting nothing but meme prompts, and yet there will be so few actual responses to them, such that my entire room could be plastered in meme prompt wallpaper just from what's on my dash between one active RP post and the next.

22. Lack of a clear declaration that an RPer is 18+, lack of a Rules page, lack of a Characters page for multi-muses... and, I cannot stress this enough, problematic themes without trigger warnings. We ask for TW's for a reason in this community and it's the height of selfishness to ignore this request. I will have my boundaries respected, or I will not engage. Simple as that.

23. It should come as no surprise my dedicated love is to the Marvel fandom.

24. Not an entire fandom, no, but negativity has touched me in ways that caused me to lose contact with productions I enjoyed. I had Naruto shoved down my throat by a "friend" who'd hoped to Stockholm me into liking it, and he almost succeeded, but he wound up driving me broke one summer (and now not only am I jaded towards Naruto, I have a passionate hatred for World of WarCraft, his favorite game of the time); I'd been enjoying Chobits with my ex-girlfriend but never finished it because our relationship went very sour (and I almost bailed out on Yu-Gi-Oh! over the very same relationship). I don't see myself coming back to those productions, but I never really considered myself part of the attendant fandoms in the first place.

25. Cultivate your experience. It's perfectly normal to seek out swaths of RPers only to realize you don't have nearly as much in common with a lot of them as you'd hoped. If you don't care for what you're seeing from someone, it's okay to drop them! The Unfollow button is as much a friend of yours as the Follow button is. There are always more RPers, and they're all eager to have someone to write with.

#munday answers #answered asks #illbringthechaosmagic

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bittermuire · 3 years

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A (long) analysis of Azriel,

+ a bit of discussion about Gwynriel vs. Elriel at the end.

Lately I’ve seen much discussion surrounding Azriel, and there seems to be a lot of hazy gray area. We know he has a terrible past, carries a lot of trauma, is both mentally and physically scarred, and has disturbingly possessive habits. But why? That’s the question.

I think most of Azriel’s character can be filtered into three sections: his anger, his possessiveness, and his self-loathing. Altogether I believe these form his crippling sense of emotional immaturity, which ultimately shines through most every action he makes in the books.

So yes, I firmly believe Az is a child in the body of a 500 year old Fae. But is he treated as such? No. No, he is not. In fact, he’s treated as the exact opposite, and that can’t be doing wonders for his mental health (which is already in shambles. Off to a cheery start.)

Let’s take a look at his past. He was both mentally and physically abused for the majority of his childhood. Then he was thrown into an unforgiving culture that both mentally and physically abused him as well. Then he was essentially bullied by Cassian and Rhysand for quite a while... until they randomly decided to like him, which is a choice he didn’t seem to play a hand in. And then he became a professional torturer. All the while falling madly in love and becoming obsessed with a female who can’t love him back. Not to mention he’s been ostracized his entire life.

(One big thing though, that I’m going to reference frequently, is Azriel’s constant chase of “happiness.” Kind of like my friends with ADHD. We squeeze all the serotonin we can get out of one thing and then fall into a listless, depressed haze until we find another. I honestly think Azriel does the same thing with people--he latches onto them and lets his mood swings rely on how much attention they do or do not pay him, and whether it is positive or negative.)

So I’m going to go through his relationships with pivotal characters and try to explain what I think is really going on with Azriel.

Regarding Mor:

He was obsessed with her for most of his life. He was incredibly possessive of her and fell instantly in love upon seeing her. Do I think it was love? No. But does Azriel think it was love? Yes, and that is so important. It shows how desperate he was for human connection.

This “love” spiraled into centuries-long obsession that we’ve all seen play out throughout the series. But why is it obsession, and not love? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say that Azriel doesn’t know how to love. He’s never been shown genuine love and so he doesn’t know how to show it to others in the way he intends. He’s basically a baby.

But right after he falls head over heels, Mor sleeps with Cassian, and then Cassian plays the role of the buffer between the two of them all the way up until the events of ACOSF. This is where I think Azriel’s anger comes into play. He can’t get to Mor. His best friend, his brother, is blocking him from her. He can’t touch her, love her, feel her, and he’s so desperate to. But he literally has no way to communicate it because he doesn’t know how, and so he responds in the one way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. And intense protectiveness that eventually begins to translate as possessiveness.

Again, he lets his happiness rely on Mor because he can’t make himself happy, and so his lack of emotional maturity ends up revealing him as desperate and unable to communicate his feelings of inadequacy and frustration. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, not at all. But I think this could be a decent explanation.

Regarding Cassian and Rhysand:

I mean... I kind of hate the way these two have treated Azriel. They all have their fair share of trauma, but Cassian and Rhys also bullied him and ostracized him, and then basically said, “Oh, we like you now.” Which completely leaves Azriel in the dark as to where he stands with them, and strips him of awareness regarding how his friendships with them will operate.

And then he becomes the head of espionage for the Night Court, which involves lots and lots of torture. What kind of message does that send? You’ve seen dirty things, Az, so you don’t mind doing the rest of the dirty things for us, right? That’s the only real message I can get from this. Which then plants the message in Azriel’s head of: Not only do I do dirty things, I myself am a dirty, disgusting thing. Thus, furthering his already deep-seated sense of self-loathing.

Plus, the IC generally operates with a pack-like mindset. One person’s method of healing is everyone’s method of healing. It worked for one person, so it worked for everyone. It’s a very naive mindset, and very toxic as well, so it’s not surprising that literally everyone in the IC is colossally messed up despite preaching themselves as having overcome their demons.

So Azriel never really gets to understand himself and mature as a person. He’s stuck pretending to be perfectly fine underneath Rhysand’s oh-so-benevolent and compassionate hand. Rhysand and Cassian recognize Az as being a little... odd, by seeming to think things like “he’s the quiet one” and “he’s the serious, scary one.” But do they attempt to understand him? No. They leave him to his own devices and let him figure it out himself.

That’s the issue. He’s not ever going to figure it out himself, so long as he’s surrounded by the people who’ve been unwittingly suffocating him for most of his life.

Regarding Elain:

Azriel’s infatuation with Elain, in my opinion, comes as a direct result of his detachment from Mor. Just like one hyperfixation fades quickly from an all-consuming thing to a passing thought, Azriel has shifted from one obsession to the next, in order to keep his spirits on a high.

But I think his feelings for Elain reveal a lot of what Mor did not. Why does he view Elain as so holy compared to him? Why is he so hesitant to touch her? Why does he put her on such a pedestal? That’s his self-loathing coming through again. He hates himself so much that he has to place her above him.

He wants to touch her and love her, just as he did with Mor, but again he is unable. It's a repeating pattern that he can’t get himself out of.

Let’s also look at the way Elain and Azriel’s friendship/relationship began. He had to take care of her, and treat her with utmost respect. She looked at his scars or his siphons, both monstrous looking things, and called them beautiful. Let’s remember that he’s basically a child who’s rarely known genuine love. The minute he gets a glimpse of it, he’s going to grab it by the neck and crush it to his chest. Plus, the fact that she’s the last sister left unattached and he’s the last brother left unattached is probably even more convincing for him that he and Elain are meant for each other. When he’s denied this love that’s come nearly close enough to grab, he responds in the only way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. Just like he did with Mor.

But moving on, that glimpse of potential love comes from Elain. That’s why he’s able to let go of Mor; a relationship with Elain suddenly becomes possible. He’s terrified of ruining this potential love and is incredibly drawn to her all the same. Best of all? She wants him too.

BUT. Azriel knows how fragile Elain is, so he walks on glass around her, coddling her, putting her first like he’s put everyone else first since being a part of the IC. I think he wants to save her from becoming like him. He essentially plays the role of her white knight, entirely losing his sense of self-preservation (not that he ever had one), and thus loses any chance of letting Elain help him mature in return.

Regarding Gwyn:

Now, Gwyn is a different story.

We know Azriel likes her. Maybe not in a consciously romantic way, but he likes her. She makes him smile and laugh, and he finds her amusing. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around her.

The big thing, I think, is that he doesn’t have to take care of her. At least, I think that’s what makes him so comfortable around her. With Gwyn, he can relax, and he doesn’t have to watch every move he makes. She treats him like a regular person and he treats her similarly.

Now, is it a bad thing that he doesn’t put her on a saint-like pedestal like he does Elain? No. Definitely not. I think this ordinary friendship signals a much healthier relationship than his festering obsession with Elain. Gwyn simply being his friend and not someone that he feels he has to be perfect for is a good foundation for Azriel growing as a person.

Gwynriel vs. Elriel (the necklace):

Honestly, I’m scared for whatever SJM decides to do, because Azriel has a shitload of trauma to move past and years worth of emotional growth needed before he can be a steady partner in a relationship. Both Gwyn and Elain’s character arcs are definitely not finished and so I think that no matter which way his narrative goes, it’s going to be disappointing in some aspect or another, unfortunately. I don’t think that either one of the females’ arcs really fit well with Azriel’s.

But I’m going to take a closer look at the necklace, because I think it’s a telling narrative point.

For Azriel, the necklace for Elain and Gwyn herself, are both “thing[s] of secret, lovely beauty” to him.

By describing the necklace for Elain as such (instead of Elain herself), Azriel unconsciously reveals his more idealistic view of Elain rather than his love for Elain herself. I kind of get the sense of Azriel giving offerings to a goddess, or something like that. He seems to be more preoccupied with appeasing Elain than actually loving her.

Now, this probably comes from, again, his self-loathing and his emotional immaturity. I’m just repeating myself at this point. He doesn’t know how to love himself and he doesn’t know how to love anyone else.

But then he describes Gwyn as such. Gwyn, the person. In my opinion, this demonstrates a potentially much healthier relationship than what he has with Elain. Azriel, instead of wanting to be perfect for Gwyn and wanting to appease her, is simply made happy by the thought of her. It is Gwyn whom he is taken with, not the idea of Gwyn loving him. And so that takes off so much pressure for him, and introduces the hope that he might be able to mature as a person in a friendship or romantic relationship with Gwyn.

Closing thoughts:

Azriel is a blundering, hormonal child desperate for love with no idea of how to get it, in a 500 year old Fae’s body. He’s also surrounded by people who refuse to address his clear issues... his future’s pretty dim, and I think he realizes it. Which is why whoever SJM chooses to be his romantic interest is going to be very important.

In short, I’m scared for what’s to come. But fingers crossed that his incredibly complex character is done justice.

#azriel #acotar #character analysis #gwynriel #kind of anti elriel #but open to interpretation

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variousqueerthings · 3 years

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Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part 1 of 3

Disclaimers and trigger warnings:

1. These fairytales are European, although there’s often overlap in themes globally. I know European fairytales better, which is essentially the reason I’m not going to branch out too far. I opted to also stick to Western movies so as not to narrow things down, but also in particular “waves hand towards all of Ghibli” amongst many others. There’s a reason the guys in Ghibli are so gender.

2. TW for discussions of rape culture and rape fantasies

EDIT: FUCK I’M A GOBLIN CHILD! FORGOT TO PUT A MASSIVE MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @mimsyaf WHO HAS BEEN THE NICEST, KINDEST EDITOR ON THESE THOUGHTS AND CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO THEM AND GENERALLY IS A WONDERFUL PERSON!

Part 2

Part 3

1. Introduction

I recently wrote a little thing, which was about Daniel as a fairytale protagonist – specifically one that goes through some of the kinds of transformations that are often associated with female protagonists of fairytales.

I used quotes from Red Riding Hood, Labyrinth, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Dracula, which, as an aside – the overlap between fairytales, horror, and fantasy and the ways each of those genres delve into very deep, basic questions of humanity and the world is something that will always make me feral. I will be generally sticking with fairytales though. Also I am very excited about some of those Labyrinth concepts going around!

I’m going to use “feminine” and “masculine” in both gendered (as in relating specifically to people) and non-gendered (as in relating to codes) ways throughout this, depending on context.

To be binary for a moment, because sample-sizes of other genders are low, women are usually able to fall into either feminine or masculine arcs, although sometimes the masculine-coded woman can become a “not like the other girls” stereotype and the feminine-coded woman a shallow cliché – in both cases they’re also under more scrutiny and judgement, so it’s always worth asking “is this character not working for me because of the writing or because I have ingrained biases? (Both?)”

Men don’t often get feminine-coded arcs. Because. Probably a mix of biases and bigotry. But there are some that seem to have slipped beneath the shuttered fence of “Sufficient Narrative Testosterone,” and Daniel LaRusso is one of them.

2. Some Dude Comparisons (Men Doing Manly Action-Hero Things like being trans symbolism and loving your girlfriend… seriously those things are hella manly, I wish we saw more of that onscreen…)

a. Neo

Much like Neo The Matrix, whose journey is filled with transgender subtext and specifically and repeatedly references Alice In Wonderland, Daniel doesn’t go through quite the kind of hero's journey usually associated with Yer Standard Male Hero, especially the type found in the 80s/90s.

Neo is my favourite comparison, because of the purposefulness of his journey as a trans narrative and the use of Alice. But I’m sure there are other non-traditional male heroes out there (but are they trans tho? Please tell me, I want trans action heroes).

Neo “passes” as a socially acceptable man, but online goes by a different name - the name he prefers to be known by - feels like there’s something inherently wrong about the world around him and his body’s place in that society, and then gets taken down the rabbit hole (with his consent, although without really “knowing” what he’s consenting to) to discover that it’s the world that’s wrong - not him. And by accessing this truth he can literally make his body do and become whatever he wants it to.

Yay. (The message of the Matrix is actually that trans people can fly).

Neo is – kind of like Daniel – a strange character for Very Cis Straight Guys to imprint on. He spends most of the first movie unsure about what’s going on, out of his depth, and often getting beaten up. He is compared to Alice several times and at the end he dies. He loses. He has to be woken up with true love’s kiss, in a fun little Sleeping Beauty/Snow White twist. Yes, after that he can fly, but before that he’s getting dead-named and hate-crimed by The Most Obvious Stand-In For Normativity, Agent Smith, and being carried by people far more physically capable than he is (people who also fall outside of normative existence).

Trinity and Neo in The Matrix. The fact that a lot of the time neither of them is gendered is something. Literally brought to life by true love’s kiss.

I’m not about to argue that Daniel LaRusso is purposefully written along these same thought processes, so much as the luck of the way he was written, cast, directed, acted, and costumed all came together in the right way. And this is even more obvious when compared to That Other Underdog Fite Movie That Was By The Same Director as Karate Kid.

b. Rocky

The interesting thing about Rocky is that he is (despite being a male action icon) also not written as a Traditionally Masculine person. Large portions of Rocky – and subsequent Rocky films – are his fear and insecurity about fighting vs his inability to apply his skills to another piece of work and wanting to do right by his girlfriend (and future wife), Adrian. The fighting is most often pushed onto him against his will.

Much like in Karate Kid there is barely any fighting in Rocky I. Most of it is dedicated to how much Rocky loves Adrian and the two of them getting together. The fight is – again like in Karate Kid – a necessary violence, rather than a glorified one (within the plot, obviously watching any movie like this is also partly about the badassness of some element of the violence – whether stamina or the crane kick, it’s all about not backing down against a more powerful opponent).

Rocky is played by Sylvester Stallone. He’s tough, he’s already a fighter (albeit in the movie not a great one yet), he’s taking the fight for cash – so although he’s also soft-spoken and sweet, you’re aware of the fact that he’s got those traits that’d make a male audience go “Hell Yeah, A Man,” or whatever it is a male audience does watching movies like that… cis straight men imprinting on oiled muscle men sure is a strange phenomenon, why do you wanna watch a boxing match? So you can watch toned guys groaning and grappling with each other? Because you want to feel like A Man by allowing yourself to touch the skin of other men?

Apollo and Rocky in Rocky III. This sequence also includes prolonged shots of their crotches as they run. Sylvester Stallone directed this. This was intentional. Bros.

Daniel LaRusso is not built like that. But that doesn’t really have to matter. Being smallish and probably more likely to be described as “pretty” than handsome, and not having a toxic masculine bone in his body does not a feminine archetype make. It just makes a compelling (and pretty) underdog.

c. Daniel

So where does the main difference really lie? Between Rocky and Daniel? Well, Rocky has the plot in his hands – Daniel, largely, does not. Rocky is acting. Daniel is reacting or being pushed into situations by others. Just like our boy Neo. Just like Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Snow White – just like some of the women in some contemporary(ish) fairytale films like Buttercup (Princess Bride), Dorothy (Wizard of Oz), or Sarah (Labyrinth).

This isn’t a necessary negative about stories about girls and women, so much as looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), men, and crossing some taboo lines. It’s also about queerness.

3. The Karate Kid Part One: Leaving Home

Daniel LaRusso is a poor, skinny, shortish kid (played by a skinny, shortish twenty-two-year old) who doesn’t fit in after having been taken away from the home he was familiar with against his will. Not every male protagonist in a fairytale leaves of his own will, and not every female protagonist leaves under duress – Red Riding Hood, for example, seems perfectly happy to enter the forest. However generally a hero is “striking out to make his fortune,” and generally a heroine is fleeing or making a bargain or being married off or waiting for help to arrive. She is often stuck (and even Red Riding Hood requires saving at some point).

Daniel then encounters a beautiful, lovely girl on the beach, puts on a red hoodie (red is significant), is beaten up by a large, attractive bully, loses what little clout he may have had with his new friends, and generally has a mostly miserable time until he befriends and is saved by Mr Miyagi. To do a little Cinderella comparison: Miyagi is the fairy godmother who pushes Daniel to go to the ball in disguise as well, and that disguise falls to pieces as he’s running away.

Then Daniel asks for help, Miyagi gets him enrolled in a Karate Tournament, and starts teaching him. Daniel wins the tournament and gets the girl, the end.

While Daniel has chutzpah and is a wonderful character, none of the big events are initiated by him, except for the initial going to the forest/beach (and within all of these events Daniel absolutely makes choices – I’m not saying he’s passive): Lucille takes them to California, Miyagi pushes him to go to the dance, Miyagi again decides to enroll him in the tournament and trains him, and only because Kreese doesn’t allow for any other option, Ali is the one who more often than not approaches Daniel, and even their first encounter is pushed by Daniel’s friends.

Daniel really is at a dance/ball in disguise and receives a flower from a girl who recognises him through said disguise, it’s unbearable! It’s adorable! I get it Ali, I fucking get it!

Daniel’s main journey within this – apart from not getting killed by karate thugs (love u Johnny <3) and kissing Ali – is to learn from Miyagi. He’s not necessarily a full-on feminine fairytale archetype at this point, although there are fun things to pull out of it, mainly in the context of later films and Cobra Kai: the subtext of karate and how that builds throughout all the stories, the red clothes, the themes of obsession, his being targeted by boys whose masculinity is more than a little bit toxic and based on shame… more on all that coming up.

He doesn’t technically get a home until they build him a room at Miyagi’s place, but he definitely leaves the woods at the end of this one, trophy lifted in the air after being handed to him by a tearful Johnny and all.

And then they made a sequel.

4. The Karate Kid Part Two: Not Out Of The Woods Yet

Daniel’s won the competition, Kreese chokes out Johnny for daring to lose and cry, more life-lessons are given (for man without forgiveness in heart…) and Daniel and Ali break-up off-screen, confirming that TKK1 was not really about the girl after all, which, despite Daniel and Kumiko having wonderful chemistry, is also an ongoing theme. Daniel enters the screen in The Most Baby-Blue Outfit seen since Tiana’s dress in Princess and the Frog? Or that dress in Enchanted? Maybe Cinderella’s (technically silver, but later depicted as blue)?

(Sidenote: At everyone who says Sam ought to wear a callback to that suit, you are correct and sexy).

Surprise, Miyagi’s building him a room.

Double-surprise, Miyagi needs to go to Okinawa.

Triple surprise, Daniel reveals he’s going with him, because he’s his son dammit.

The Karate Kid Part Two is maybe the least Daniel-LaRusso-Feminine-Fairytale-Protagonist of the three, because it’s not really his movie. Daniel runs around with Kumiko (aka the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen), continues to be The Best Non-Toxic Boy a middle-aged Okinawan karate master could ask for, lands himself another Built Karate Rival (twice is just a coincidence, right? Right?), and eventually doesn’t die while wearing red again – twice: When Chozen almost strangles him to death at the Miyagi dojo and then during the final fight. The Saving Of The Girl (both the little girl in the storm and Kumiko) actually puts him in a more traditional masculine space than the previous movie did, even if the main theme of the film is about compassion and kindness and by the end, once more the boy whose masculinity is built on rockhard abs and matchsticks is on his knees. Daniel just has that power over big boys. It’s called kick/punch them in the face hard enough that they see stars.

There’s an aside to be made here about how much Daniel really is an observer in other peoples stories in this, although he is the factor that sends both Chozen and Kumiko into completely different directions in life (Chozen and Kumiko main characters when?) Anyway he comes out of it presumably okay, despite being almost killed. Maybe a few therapy sessions and he’ll get over it. Too bad Terry Silver is lurking around the corner…

5. The Karate Kid Part Three: The Big Bad Wolf

Alright people have written Words about the third movie. It’s fascinating. It’s odd. It’s eye-straining. It’s like olives – you’re either fully onboard the madness or it’s too off-putting for you (or you’re like. Eh, don’t see what all the fuss is about either way...). It’s basically a non-consensual secret BDSM relationship between a guy in his thirties (played by a Very Tall twenty-seven year old Thomas Ian Griffith) and a 17/18 year old (played by a shorter twenty-eight year old Ralph Macchio).

Also recently we got more information on Mr. Griffith’s input on the uh… vibes of the film. Apparently it wasn’t just The Sweetness of Ralph Macchio’s face, the screenplay (whatever that amounted to in the first place – release the script!), the soundtrack, the direction to not tone it down under any circumstances, the fact that Macchio categorically refused to play a romance between himself and an actress who was sixteen, no: it was also TIG coming up with fun ways to torture Daniel’s character and suggesting these to the director. Clearly everyone has fun hurting Mr Macchio (including Mr Macchio).

The point is that aaallll of that amounts to that Intense Homoerotic Dubiously-Consented-To D/s subtext that haunts the movie and gives a lot of fun stuff to play with. It’s also a film that – if we’re analysing Daniel along feminine-coded fairytale lines recontextualises his role in this universe.

The Fairytale goes topsy-turvy. Through the looking glass. Enter Big Bad Wolf stage right. Karate is a metaphor for Daniel’s bisexual awakening.

“Oh, when will an attractive man touch me in ways that aren’t about hurting me?” he asks after two movies of being hurt by boys with rippling muscles. “Why do men continue to notice me only to hit me? Do you think wearing red is making me too noticeable? Anyway, Mr Silver looked really good in his gi today.”

Daniel’s diary must be a trip.

#daniel larusso #the karate kid #cobra kai #ck #johnny lawrence #cobra kai meta #my writing #part one of three #some comparisons to matrix and rocky because I love to talk about those #terry silver

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cybernaght · 3 years

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The Rebel/叛逆者: A Review of Sorts

After being only semi-invested in the Rebel, I ended up getting so into it in the final weeks of its release, I’ve shelled out on IQIYI premium just to get the final couple of episodes a few days earlier.

That’s right kids, it’s a Review of Sorts. Unfortunately, I could not find a translation of the novella the drama is based on, so will be looking at it as a separate entity.

Most of this post is spoiler-free, however I have dedicated a few paragraphs at the end of it to discussing the final episode, as there are a few specific things about it I wanted to mention. There is a clear spoiler warning before that part.

If you don’t want to risk it, TL;DR version of this review goes something like this: Rebel is very decent, and positively one of the best things that I have seen to come out of China since I’ve jumped into that particular rabbit hole. It’s pretty well written, it’s very beautifully dressed and shot, and the cast is killing it. I thought it dropped the ball a little in post production, and I did not always love the pacing. Other than that, it’s incredibly decent, and well worth watching, unless communist propaganda really irks you, in which case stay very well away.

I have been having many conversations with @supernovasimplicity all the way through watching this drama, so there are likely to be some thoughts here that are influenced by those.

The story centers around Lin Nansheng, a struggling servicemen in the Guomingdang party. He has a great analytical mind, and absolutely no emotional capacity for his job. He has trouble handling violence, he is impulsive, he cannot speak to his superiors without bursting into tears, and has nothing even remotely resembling a poker face. And that is what makes this drama as enjoyable as it is.

I don’t think Lin Nansheng’s journey would have been nearly as exciting had he started it from a place of competence. He botches up everything he touches because his big brain switches off the moment his emotions kick in. And so, when you see him grow in confidence, learn to control himself, learn to fake his smiles and compliments, you can’t help but feel a strange sense of pride. It also makes Lin Nansheng very likeable as a character for reasons other than Zhu Yilong’s ability to look like a bush baby.

It did take me a while to feel fully engaged with his performance - not because there is anything lacking in it, but just because it’s hard to be truly surprised by his choices after the exposure I have given myself to his work. That said, at about a half-way point I got charmed by him anyway, and there were quite a few scenes that were truly mesmerising. There were scenes where he broke out of the familiar mould of big unguarded eyes and fluttering wet eyelashes, and tried something that was not pretty: every time to a great success. I am hoping to see more of that in his future work.

I really wanted to like the female lead, Zhu Yizhen, but unfortunately both the way she was written and the way she was performed by Tong Yao left me somewhat cold. It did not help of course that the screenplay ended up sidelining her at every turn, leaving her with very little personal agency. She was set up so interestingly, but in the end her sole purpose became being someone for Lin Nansheng to pine over. It is particularly curious from a perspective of meta storytelling: seeing how this is all centered around superiority of communism, which as a whole was, arguably, ahead of its time in the matters of binary gender equality.

The ensemble cast of the drama is stunning. Wang Yang came very close to stealing the show at several points as Chen Moqun, somehow managing to make his rather unlikeable character interesting. I can say the same thing about Zhu Zhu who absolutely shined as Lin Xinjie, showing an incredible range and imagination in her performance.

The overarching story of the show is engaging, with some incredibly suspenseful elements; every narrative arc including a nice progression through it. As spy thrillers go, it was fairly well plotted. You could if you go looking for a few things that did not pay off in a satisfying way (notably, the Chekhov’s cyanide capsule), but you overall the story really was well told for the most of it.

I did, however, feel like the pacing started to fall apart in the last quarter of the drama. Last episode in particular really did feel rushed, not just due to its pace, but also in a way it failed to pay off the final mission in any visible way. There will be more on that in the spoiler section of this post.

Important to note that The Rebel is a show made in Communist China in the year 2021. It does not ideologically side-step from the path that was laid out for it by that fact. Which is to say, it is, undeniably, filled with propaganda. Communists are the good guys, and if you think a good guy (or gal) is not a communist, they probably secretly are. With one exception of a friendly character who is not a communist, and whose fate we actually never find out. Curious, that.

The Rebel is not a kind of a show where censorship-appeasing scenes are shoehorned in. It’s a kind of a show in which the main theme is Sacrifice For the Party.

Aside from the being the moral vector of the show, Mao’s gentle teachings explicitly help get Ling Nansheng out of prolonged depression following his injury, and almost annoyingly, this sat incredibly well with the character, as he was written. Lin Nansheng is conceived as this naive idealist who wants to be on the front line, who needs validation and support of others. His - and I can’t believe I’m saying this - his being disillusioned in his beliefs and choosing to join a party which includes people whom he likes and trusts makes sense. Him finding this one thing that gives him hope and letting it propel him into gaining confidence and competence makes sense.

In many ways, the Rebel is a story of Lin Nansheng’s failure to become an antagonist within the world of the drama.

I have honestly spent this past couple of weeks pondering whether being well written makes political propaganda better or worse, whether the subtlety of it makes it more or less palatable, whether it’s enough, as a viewer, to be aware of it to shrug it off. Ultimately, this is not something I could or should make moral judgements on, but I do believe that it’s possible to acknowledge the fact that propaganda exists in the drama, and still appreciate it for a good piece of television that it is.

That said, I am very well aware that me being kind of okay with it stems entirely from my own removal from the culture this is made in, and I am, perhaps, lucky to even have a choice as to whether I want to engage with a product which is, undoubtably, here to dress political ideology in fancy clothes.

I have, on the other hand, also seen many things in Russian media of the “Annexation of Crimea is Good Actually” variety and those make me feel very unwell, so feeling somewhat at ease with blatant political propaganda in Chinese media makes me the biggest hypocrite.

But, I digress.

Before we go into some specific plot-related things, I would like to mention that the Rebel has this weird dichotomy in which the production is sublime, and the post-production… not so much. The show very well shot. Every element of it sits perfectly together, not a single prop out of place, not a single extra underdressed, not a page of script not put to good use. It’s lit to perfection. It’s scored beautifully. So much of this show is just stunning.

And then… there is post-production.

This is not even about bad CGI (and the CGI is, indeed, bad), it’s just that most of post-production as a whole feels rushed.

Starting with surprisingly imperfect editing, which at times just fails to make the scene flow together. The final line of dialogue would be spoken within a scene, and it would fade to black instantly without a single breath to indicate a full stop. A montage sequence would be created, but every shot within it condensed to a second, making it feel incredibly fast-paced when the effect should be the opposite. There would be a cut away from a speaking character and to the same speaking character from a slightly different angle, making it dynamic without any reason to do so. There are a couple of truly startling jump-cuts.

I did not speed this gif up. This is part of a romantic montage, edited like it’s a goddamn action sequence.

And of course dear old friend slowing down footage shot at 24FPS. Please don’t do this. You think no one notices - but we do.

There are other tell-tale signs of production rushing to the finish line: occasional, but very noticeable ADR glitches, very sloppy job done at sound mixing, which contribute to parts of the show feeling ever so slightly off.

It’s not unforgivable, but it does make me wish the same amount of care and efforts that went into shooting this drama would also go into it after it was all in the can.

Oh, and just because if you know me you know I have a professional fixation on fights, and I am happy to say most action scenes are toe-curlingly delightful. Hot damn those fights are good. I am absolutely in love with the shot below, for example. Placing an actor behind a piece of set so he can exchange places with the stunt double during a one shot is such an old trick, but the execution, timing and camerawork are just... flawless. This is what perfection looks like.

Now we got all that out of the way...

SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES FINALE BELOW

Here’s the thing. I wanted to love the ending and I found that I could not.

The final mission was presented as important, and honestly the scene in which Zhu Yizhen is sending the vital message out as Lin Nansheng holds his ground in hand to hand fight is incredibly dynamic. Party, this is due to the fight itself being incredibly well choreographed, yes, but it’s also where it sits within the narrative, how high the stakes are for everything surrounding it.

But then, the tension all but bleeds out. The Important Message is sent, the fight is won, and we are treated to ten minutes of a very slow car chase, problem of which is not even its speed as much as its placing within the story. As in, by this point both of those operatives have lost their cover, and completed their Very Important Mission. It would be very sad if they died, but their survival does not technically contribute to their cause. Moreover, Zhu Yizhen getting mortally injured in order to protect Lin Nansheng as part of her mission read a little empty when the mission is technically over.

While I personally found Lin Nansheng slow recuperation and his low key ending enjoyable, I think I would have preferred to have seen a more tangible pay-off to all the sacrifices made in the name of “bright communist future”, just a little more justification for every moment of death and despair we witnessed. I would have certainly at the very least preferred to see Wang Shi’an’s death on screen. Considering how many likeable characters martyred themselves on screen, denying us the death of the one antagonist just seemed cruel.

I really did love the ambiguity of the final few scenes however, if we consider the children choir at the end a fantasy. The idea that Lin Nansheng will live out his life in this hope that Zhu Yizhen is still alive, imagining her just outside of his field of vision, his only joy being in this fantasy of her… now, that is incredibly strong. I equally like the idea of rest being promised to him at the end of his journey, and said rest being painful, and slow and unwelcome.

But it felt like as they chose not to to lean into the “sweet” part of the bitter-sweet tone of the ending and we’re unable not commit to the “bitter” part either, so it lands with a splat which is somewhat lacklustre.

---

This concludes my thoughts on the Rebel.

I am more or less out of Zhu Yilong’s filmography to watch, which is probably a good thing at this point. I have just emerged out of several back to back work projects - literally today - and will hopefully once more have time for things I grew to enjoy doing during the lockdown.

Those things, if you have not guessed, include watching Chinese television and writing things about Chinese television.

#the rebel #叛逆者 #Zhu Yilong #review of sorts #now with gifs #chinese drama

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metanoiamorii · 3 years

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Wip Re-Introduction: A Rope In Hand

❛Horror is like a serpent; always shedding its skin, always changing. And it will always come back. It can’t be hidden away like the guilty secrets we try to keep in our subconscious.❜

♧ Title: A Rope In Hand [ARIH]

♧ Status: First Drafting

♧ Point of View: Third Person, flexible between a few

♧ Genre: Dark Fantasy, Supernatural, LGBTQ+, Action, Drama

♧ Warnings: This story revolves around the occult. There will be talk of witch hunts and trials and cults. There will be torture methods used to gain confessions, and these methods will be justified under religious belief. There will be toxic and abusive relationships, particularly family; finding an escape from them, and healing from the trauma. There will be homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, and colonization. There will be major character deaths, but I can spoil after the book ends the main characters do get a happy ending. Each chapter and scene posted will have personalized warnings, but these are the main things to expect.

♧ Featuring: The majority of the characters will be LGBTQ+, from pansexual, homosexual, to asexual; genderfluid, agender/nonbinary, and transgender. Each character is complex and morally grey. Yes, they will do things that are blatantly terrible, or actively good. Overall, they will be morally grey and questionable at best. There will be complex world-building, from both the universe it takes place in, and the religious pantheons brought up. The religions brought up will be polytheistic and animism-themed. The romance between the major characters will be slow-burn enemies to friend to lovers, and them learning to love themselves through one another. There will be an exploration on generational healing, and unlearning toxic, and bias believes.

♧ Setting: The setting is influenced by Victorian London, and Medieval Ireland. There will be mention of other places, primarily western Europe, the Ottoman Empire, Ancient Rome, Eastern Asia, and Napoleonic France.

♧ Synopsis:

In the town of Arkaley, in the northwest of the Duchy of Ruairc, the people have been plagued by bad fortune and crime. Attacks of bandits on the road, raids from pirates on the shores, untimely deaths of children and young women, elected officials coming out corrupt; there is no end in Arkaley of the suffering the locals endure.

Rationally, to explain such a bad string of luck, there is only one possible explanation: Witchcraft.

The Duchy of Ruairc already has a history of witchcraft: the Ó Ruaircs turned out to be witches, the Abondé incident in Salem, the Liathain incident in Trakee; the Ruaircs have their record. Perfectly acceptable for everyone to assume the worse of the Ruairish, as they have proved to be nothing but.

To prove his worth, the young Reverend Prudence Clemency Frye, takes up the task of quelling this coven of witches and heading this witch-hunt. Young and naïve, witch only knowledge from books and little hands-on experience, he’s unprepared for this challenge. When he finally leaves the town, well… everyone would rather put this incident behind them.

♧ Tease:

My darling dear, a knave so clear

You appear, so bravely near;

Do you hear my darling dear, sneers of austere jeers?

Behave, my dear, when I am near;

For peers will lear, in their fear,

Allow me o' dear our persevere

So my fave you appear

And volunteer a slave so dear

in an atmosphere we fear.

my darling dear, wave so clear

Depravely as we leave, and give a souvenir;

My lips to yours, as you crave in these fallin' years.

Be brave darling dear, and give into hearts o' queer.

For mine you be, your darling dear,

To the stars you have swore in love, so crystal clear.

My peers shall sneer, but whore I be, and you I crave

Oh so bare. slurs and glares, just listen to my prayers.

Kiss me love, and leave o'they to a'crave

In this atmosphere that we fear

Their own, o' pure, knave so dear.

♧ Excerpt:

".... This is wrong." Prudence finds the words slipping from his lips, voice a quiet whisper; a breathless tone of voice. He allows his fingertips to falter against scarred skin, watching as Mastema turned his cheek, he pressed himself into the palm of Prudence's hand. Eyes closed, a smile curled on his face. Prudence couldn't help but smile at the scene, but slowly, slowly, slowly, he rescinded his hand; breaking the hold.

"Revered..." Matching his voice, Mastema replied. Maintaining such a soft voice, as he shifted himself forward on the bed. One foot to the ground, the other drawn beneath himself. Over Prudence he leaned, resting one palm to the sheets, the other lifting to seize Prudence's hand before he could recoil back. "You have made me feel something in which I've never felt before..."

From where he laid, Prudence could only form a soft frown. He knew he could draw his hand back, the grip was far from tight. But he didn't. He laid there, allowing Mastema to hold his hand. "... This is wrong, Mastema."

Mastema frowned; he matched the reaction Prudence wore. Through it, he forced a half-smile, tightening his grip on the other's hand, and forward he brought Prudence's hands to kiss the knuckles. "... If this is wrong, I do not wish to be right."

At the response, Prudence shook his head. "It is not for us to be right or wrong, the gods—"

At the angle he sat, Mastema shifted once more. He dropped Prudence's hand, to lean forward; to lean in close. Both of his palms found the other's cheek, as he touched their foreheads to one another. "... Do not force your will onto another." In that soft whisper, he spoke. Eyes closed, breath drawn in. "Is that not a Commandment of our Creator?"

"I..." Prudence faltered. In, he drew his breath, to try to steady himself. "... I did not take you for the religious sorts."

"I'm not." Mastema all too quickly retorted. But as he was, he laid; this proximity. "But you are."

♧ Characters:

The Order of Witchesbane

Prudence Clemency Frye; The Reverend

Half Fae/Half Human • Intersex • Genderfluid • He/They • Homosexual • Homo-demiromantic

The bastard son of Lord Zachariah Frye. Raised by his father, with his mother dying young, he took to following in his footsteps. He became a religious young man and an active witch-hunter. A part of him desires his father’s acceptance, his praises; the other part despises his father and everything the man stands for. In recent years, he has joined the De La Cruz household, becoming an apprentice beneath the famous Witch’s Advocate; upholding the beliefs that not every witch is evil and has foul intentions, and the ones that mean harm are the only ones that should be hunted.

Zachariah Frye; The Bloodhound

Human • Male • He/Him • Bicurious • Aromantic

The oldest living member of the Order. Now he is the man that holds the face of the Order, who you think of when they come to mind. Cold. Vindictive. Despotic. Violent. He is not a good man. He is firm in his beliefs and stubborn to change. Once his mind is made up, he cannot be reasoned with. He is blindly convinced of his beliefs and his cause to eradicate every living witch, unfazed if he has to fill a few innocent thousands in the process.

Calisto Ferzan Hermengildo Melchior Lorencio De La Cruz; The Witch’s Advocate

Half Fae/Half Human • Amab • Nonbinary • Genderfluid • He/They • Asexual • Aromantic

A witch-hunter in title alone, Calisto has been making enemies since he could first talk. He’s always enjoyed being the underdog, going against the expectations of society, being ridiculed by his peers. The sole reason? Proving them wrong. To ridicule his own peers for their outdated beliefs, he’s taken to defending witches, proving them innocent of their ‘crimes’, and going on to help them to set up a life in a country more accepting of witchcraft

The servant of Calisto, never seen far from his side. He is a servant in name alone and is more-or-less an assassin, a hitman for Calisto. Held in contempt by Athylian society for being a foreigner, he often treated by others more as a slave than a servant. To help be unseen, to help the De La Cruz Household, Michelotto endures the treatment and goes as far to be perceived as ignorant, alongside him being born a mute. Keeping his true intents and intelligence duly guarded, only a handful are aware he is also a witch.

Myk'loumihr [Michelotto Dougal] Siavash; The Man-Servant

Witch; Amab • Agender • He/They • Asexual • Aromantic

Austin Duvine; The Lord Without A Ring

Half-Human/Half Fae • Amab • Nonbinary • He/They • Pansexual • Demiromantic

One of the younger members of the order, Austin relies on his father's wealth and name. He doesn't care for responsibilities, he doesn't care for hard work. He's a playboy at heart. He's fit to hold social events, and use his natural talent to gib and fib his way through life. He'll keep his mixed feelings to himself, struggling with doing the right thing or upholding tradition.

Alistair Lavine; The Witchfinder General

Human • Amab • Agender • He/They • Bicurious • Aromantic

The best friend to Zachariah and his right hand. Where Zachariah is business and lacks charms, Alistair can charm a crowd and hold their attention. He knows how to feign being an ideal human, without letting on his own bloodlust; he's a monster in human skin. At the end of the day, unlike Zachariah, Alistair does have morals and standards he will abide by, even if they come back to ruin him.

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The Vakari Coven

Ausrine Baoghal; The Lady

Witch • Female • She/Her • Bisexual • Aromantic

The woman in charge of the town, widowed and inheriting the right to rule as her husband had no heirs. She is a manipulative and dangerous woman, eager to commit any sin or crime for more power. She, in truth, cares only for herself and would feel no remorse if she had to turn on one of her coven to further her own agenda.

The magistrate and also the chief policeman of the town. He maintains a calm, but manipulative personality. As a front, he presents himself to be fair and just, liked and favored by the people for genuinely caring for them. While in truth he has his own heinous and sinister agenda, aiding Ausrine in her plans.

Leary O'Laoghaire; The Magistrate

Witch • Male • He/Him • Bicurious • Aromantic

The oldest member of the coven, Dairine lives under the guise of an elderly woman, who lives alone with her children and grandchildren already leaving her to live their own lives. She is a kind and understanding woman and cares for the younger witches in the coven. She will not support Baríon with her agenda, nor does she care for the servant girl, she even despises the so-called ally Ausrine claims to have and who they all adhere to.

Dairine Ó Séaghdha; The Crone

Witch • Afab • Agender • She/They • Asexual • Aromantic

The acting servant of Barion, Anisha’s true loyalties lie elsewhere. She stays within the town, serving the coven while acting as the eyes and ears of someone, the person who is truly pulling the strings. She is the one to relay information and letters between the coven and her master. She is a quiet woman, that keeps her head down and her mind to herself. She only shows her true, confident and demanding, nature behind closed doors with the coven when they dare to question her.

Anisha Kaur; The Servant

Witch • Afab • Demigirl • She/They • Asexual • Aromantic

The charming son of Leary. Many whisper that is part fae, due to his charm, if it’s true or not many are unaware. He is a very sophisticated young man, that has managed to wrap the entire town around his finger. While on the surface he is alike his father is a caring, compassionate, charming young man, something sinister brews beneath. He is devious, demanding, domineering.

Nathir O'Laoghaire; The Magistrate’s Son

Half-Witch/Half-Fae • Amab • Agender • He/Him • Bisexual • Aromantic

Being the baker's daughter, Liannah helps around the bakery and family business. Unlike the company she keeps, she is a reserved young woman. She is polite and maintains her manners with whomever she is dealing with. She has the patience of a saint and rarely loses her cool. Liannah is a woman with a calm demeanor about her, being a woman many are comfortable around due to her peaceful and calm aura.

Liannah Ó Buachalla; The Baker’s Daughter

Witch • Afab • Genderfluid • She/They • Asexual • Panromantic

Ausrine's bastard son she had with a spirit she bargained with for more power. Since he was young, he was raised by the servants of the house, and the coven, over his own mother; the two have more of a business relationship over a family one. Since he cares less about what his mother does, he spends his time with Liannah and Reyes, either at the bakery or getting into trouble somewhere. With Reyes as an influence, Mastema is a flirtatious man that enjoys scandals and making the most of life

Mastema Baoghal; The Knave

Half-Witch/Half-Spirit • Amab • Genderfluid • He/They • Pansexual • Demiromantic

Rochan Misra; The Charlatan

Half-Witch/Half-Spirit • Amab • Queer • He/She • Pansexual • Aromantic

A foreigner to the Coven, born and raised in the Duchy of Incali. At a young age, he became a traveling charlatan, recently settling within the coven only as he befriended Liannah and Mastema and enjoyed their company. Now, he is the local bad influence: scamming locals out of their money at the taverns, wooing and seducing young men and ladies alike, always trespassing and vandalizing something. He is trouble but has a heart of gold when it matters.

ARIH: : @hekat-ie, @writings-of-a-narwhal, @silent-creed

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Taglist:

General: @endlesshourglass, @writerray, @poore-choice-of-words, @alexwritesfiction, @primusesgiantmetalballbearings

Both: @cecilsstorycorner, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @hazard-writes, @egg-shark

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fanfictiondreamscape · 4 years

Text

Average? Darling...

Request: Hi! I saw requests were open so I was wondering if you’d be ok with doing Headcanons with Undertaker and Sebastian with a s/o who doesn’t really think their pretty? Like they don’t think their ugly or anything, just mundane and average so they just think people are being nice and don’t really mean it when they’re told they look pretty? (Sorry this is long, I wanted to make sure I made sense) thanky and I hope you’re doing well amidst the chaos going on!

Title: Average? Darling...

Genre: fluff, mayyyybe a little bit angsty (yay insecurities!) (emphasis on mayyyybe)

Pairing: Undertaker/Sebastian Michaelis x Fem!reader (separate)

Notes: This made me so happy to see. Literally. Anon, thank you for requesting this!

That said, I totally understand this idea and outlook, and I still struggle with thinking of myself in a way that isn’t seen as absolutely hideous or terribly average. I can only escape that through cosplay, and I absolutely hate taking almost an hour or two putting on makeup just to feel drop-dead gorgeous for thirty minutes.

Anyway, you can ignore that little tirade if you want! I tried to make it as realistic as possible (from my experience), so I hope it lives up to what you like. Otherwise, thank you for saying that - I hope you’re doing well, too! (It didn’t come out trippy this time, yES-)

It is also a female reader default, so I apologize if that isn’t what you expected. It seemed to flow better for me personally, so I just rolled with it.

Below the cut!

Undertaker

surprisingly, out of these two, i find the undertaker would be more inept here

because while both him and sebastian are not human and can barely understand certain human emotions,

one has had more basic observation and interest than the other

that ‘other’ being undertaker

from what i can remember, i can only assume that he would have focused his attention towards his over-the-top plans to screw with the reapers, demons, and angels

but that’s not the whole point right now

to cover how your relationship happened, you would have had to know him for a while

and he probably would have only come to realize that he had feelings for you after he got to know you

so to sum that up: your personality is sexy to him.

that was the first thing that he was attracted to, but your appearance?

that was a bonus

so when you stop and say that you aren’t anywhere near as beautiful as people say, he just tries to get you to admit that you are wrong within a few minutes

“i’m really not as beautiful as they claim, undertaker.”

“dear, that is not a funny ‘joke’.”

“i’m not joking, darling, i’m nowhere near as beautiful as people claim i am.”

he jumps into a tirade

i don’t make the rules, okay? he just does.

and it involves many, many, many instances of your beauty.

your eyes?

they glitter and almost glow in the shadows and light in the most attractive manner.

your hair (or lack thereof)?

simply gorgeous, simply shining - quite beautiful

your figure?

quite fitting for the time, and quite a sight to see when walking.

to him, you are what an angel looks like, and you have the personality of one as well

a total package, if he must say so

but that is about where he would stop.

it doesn’t last long, but it does hold meaning and he refuses to let you believe anything else

but he may only step in and say something when it gets to be too much for you.

those times when your insecurities get the better of you?

he’s already on it, coffin open and ready for you to cuddle with him as he makes grand statements of your beauty

“your beauty truly reaches across centuries, across millenia - a quite haunting beauty if i may say so myself.”

“your eyes perfectly match your complexion, almost glowing against your countenance.”

“and darling, your figure...if i may, i must say that it is truly gorgeous...truly supple. it fits your clothing very well.”

(that last one was a lil bit sensual but hey - it was bound to happen at some point in this)

but every one of these times was very short.

eventually, though, his words started to make sense.

through those short little sessions, they worked somewhat.

i’d like to say that they worked almost immediately

but that is a blatant lie

again, this is undertaker

subtly only matters to him when it is a part of a scheme he has.

so that immediately negates any hint of it becoming extremely common, as that depends on how often you vocalize your thoughts on people’s compliments

but otherwise, they work a little bit.

in a weird way

(again, undertaker.)

but he tries, so make sure that he knows he has made you feel a little better

don’t lie, but don’t hesitate to tell him what you thought of his perspective

he covers it in his own little way, and you both don’t mind it too much. :)

Sebastian Michaelis

okay so

sebastian found you to be meager at first

but that was because you were shielded by a shadow and he only caught a glimpse of your outfit

when he caught you in full light though?

gorgeous.

he had held a distaste to angels, but you were one that he doubted he could stay away from

and because ciel had gotten tired of watching his butler fawn over you as you two worked together, he straight up demanded that he talk to you

and a butler can’t deny his master’s orders, can he?

from there, he grew to love you more

and though he will admit that he fell in love with your appearance at first, your personality was even more beautiful than you

so you can imagine his surprise when you told him that you were only average

he had caught you looking at yourself in the reflection in the glass of a window, and he became intrigued

was this simply a human thing?

possibly a female quirk, though he may have chalked it up to feminine mannerisms

but when you spotted him and he questioned your actions teasingly, you gave him the answer to his question.

“darling, may i ask why you are gazing at yourself?”

*shock*

“um, well - when you or someone else tells me i’m pretty, i don’t believe it.”

for once, pure and unadulterated shock presented itself on his visage

“dear, i must inquire why.”

“well, i’m not...’gorgeous’ as you claim. i’m simply average, nothing more.”

he had decided then and there to treat you as the sparkling darling that he knows and loves

“well, darling, i beg to differ.”

you and him then sat down and just talked.

unlike undertaker, who i feel would try to make his s/o feel gorgeous from the get-go

sebastian would be the type to get the point across over time

he’s observed humans for centuries, so he has the least amount of understanding

human insecurities cannot be mended within minutes, but rather longer

so he did the best that he could to make you feel better about your beauty

after all, he appreciates art in it’s finest form

and you fit into that category

so after reassuring you that you are just as gorgeous as others see you to be

(”your eyes are the most beautiful (e/c) i’ve ever seen.”)

(”your skin is quite glowing, much like you yourself do.”)

(”your body, too, darling - it’s to die for. just perfect.”)

he makes it a goal that you become completely aware of your beautiful

someone just complimented you and you reluctantly accepted it?

“darling, i promise you that you are gorgeous.”

another person just told you your beauty measures to that of madam red?

(don’t blame me, blame google - i tried to find more information, but this is set in the 1880s, not the 1890s, so gibson girls were barely there and were not yet considered the peak of beauty at the time. and after that mess, i went to see what characters were ranked highest and madam red was the highest ranked female on that list, at 14 i think, as the rest were male. due to that, and the fact that she is a doctor that must be fairly well known, she would be known and ogled - cuz lets face it, she is sinister, but she is also gorgeous.)

(sorry about that, let’s continue)

“they aren’t incorrect, my dear. you do truly glow, much like she does, but your’s is more bright.”

anyone compliments your figure when doing measurements and you tell him?

“as i have said, your figure is truly fair and quite admirable.”

sometimes, even when you were resting at either your’s or ciel’s manor, sebastian would make sure to remind you of your higher beauty

before you were to go to bed?

“dear, sleep well. i would say that you may want your beauty sleep, but you don’t need it when you’re already gorgeous.”

reviewing papers?

“your eyes, my darling - quite beautiful. they truly do sparkle.”

simply reading and resting?

“a beautiful brain and a beautiful appearance - my, my, you really are a gem to view, my love.”

you blushed every time, but the more he did what he did and said what he said

you slowly came to realize that you truly are as beautiful as others say you are.

and though you are aware that there are others out there that may be more beautiful

you now know that your beauty is much more prominent than that of the common female

and your realization made sebastian all the more giddy

(well, as giddy as he could get - remember, demon!)

(and again, that little rant earlier, i-)

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olivieblake · 3 years

Note

As a writer or even just a consumer of media do you find people are less willing to accept “flaws” in characters and stories? I’m not talking like this character is a murderer he’s evil no one should like him type stuff, though as someone who started off writing dramione I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share of that but just like when characters are ever short of perfect. Like when a strong female character is kinda insecure or a couple isn’t communicating well or has a heated fight everyone gets mad that it’s a toxic relationship or bad writing. I once read a review of a book where someone stopped reading it after two chapters cause it had bad therapy practices, ie. the character still had shit to work through and therapy isn’t magic therefore they weren’t always doing the healing right and it’s like? that’s the whole point!! it’s an arc the character is gonna grow! It’s also made clear early on that the therapist didn’t agree with the coping methods (overly controlling their life) so it wasn’t like they were trying to portray it as a good thing. I know you’ve mentioned people have ✨opinions✨ about your DFS Hermione for having flaws and staying flawed and her flaw is just that she kinda thinks she’s right a lot and maybe isn’t the most self aware nothing even serious lol. I’m not saying don’t be critical of media but it’s kinda overwhelming reading think piece after think piece about why this thing you enjoy is actually the literal worst™️. Like am I toxic for having some of the same flaws ? Am I a problematic creep for enjoy stories where everything isn’t always sunshine, I don’t want to have a train wreck of a relationship but sometimes reading about one can be kinda fun? Is that terrible?

there’s a lot here that I’d like to discuss and I’m thinking about how I’d like to do it (I’ll inevitably chat about it in a video because it’s interesting and complex but I think I may have too many topics for this monday)

let’s see I think I will start by saying: in general, critical discourse about media (books, tv, film, fanfic) is a good thing, but it has definitely gone awry from what I consider to be its origins. I think the whole point of viewing media critically and making observations about what we are portraying via fiction is crucial for amplifying/protecting marginalized stories and reducing harm—specifically, the harm that minorities and women face by being inundated with bigoted, prejudiced, hateful, or ignorant tropes, caricatures, or relationship dynamics. I definitely believe that we should consider what we consume and how we consume it, particularly when it comes to the marginalized voices who do not see themselves represented well or fairly in white male dominated media

that being said, I do think it has led to the expectation that fiction cannot have ANY problems, which is absurd and counterproductive. it’s also extremely reductive, particularly when it comes the Strong Female Character™ thing you mention, where a woman STILL only has value if she’s strong in the “correct” way. I mentioned in one of my other posts and also last week’s video that there’s some kind of disconnect between the VERY GOOD intentions of things like #ownvoices or the movement to empower female characters and the actual outcomes, which make it so that any flaws in a marginalized fictional character are magnified to represent the entire group. the very reasonable request to see ourselves in fiction has somehow become an exponentially convoluted demand to see ourselves a certain way in fiction, where any character who does not reflect our personal experience is bad and wrong. previously, the expectation was that white male stories were universal whereas everything else was only for that specific group, and now, ironically, everything that is created still has to fit that universal quality and please everyone, despite that not being the point. the problem is when you only have ONE movie about this topic or ONE book about this ethnicity, then of course it hasn’t done enough to exemplify an entire subject or culture. there has to be an entire body of work the way there is with white-dominated media, where no single film or book accurately represents the experience of being white

plus we have twitter which is a horrifying hellscape where you get rewarded by the algorithm for making loud, obnoxious points so add that to the list (yesterday I saw that one of the top 3 reviews on Beloved by toni morrison is a 1-star review written by a white man and I was just flabbergasted by the lack of self-awareness)

but anyway that’s like, more of a macro look at what I think is going on but you’re right that people are not very forgiving of flawed characters. to some extent, I get it; the one thing we don’t want our characters to do is annoy us, and that’s fair. but I also think people have lost the sense that “oh, this thing isn’t for me” and thus can’t successfully identify the difference between critical failure and personal dislike

now. as for Divination for Skeptics. let me start by saying it’s not like I don’t understand why people find hermione in Divination for Skeptics annoying, because I get it. if you’re taking the story very seriously then sure, maybe you want her to change her behavior and it’s frustrating that she doesn’t. fair enough! to that I say it’s a comedy and if you don’t find it funny you’re perfectly welcome to dislike it, it’s not a big deal to me if I don’t make you laugh. however, I DO take issue with people who claim she’s too flawed or doesn’t grow, because they almost always do it in a very specific way: they say that she doesn’t show enough empathy, aka how dare she not read draco’s mind and simply alter her personality and behavior to suit his. it genuinely infuriates me that in my opinion, people who voice that particular “criticism” have seemingly internalized the belief that women should be emotionally perceptive; that for them, hermione’s “flaw” is that she does not take on the emotional labor that draco refuses to perform. (her actual flaw is that her survival technique/coping mechanism is a hyper-rationality that incorrectly assumes she has perfect information; i.e., that everything she knows is accurate, and therefore all of her decisions must be sound.) whereas draco knows this about her—knows and acknowledges it—and yet cannot bring himself to voice his feelings out of a fear-based desire to hedge his own emotional risk. who, then, is more flawed in the context of the story?

I don’t really have a conclusion yet so I’m going to pause for now and we’ll revisit this; I think mainly it’s that the more media diversifies, the more people will struggle with the preconceptions they have and the presumption that everything they consume is for them, and therefore that they are the metric for whether something is “good.” I think good art, good media, will reflect the world as it exists, but it will still only be the world according to one tiny fraction, a sliver of the actual human experience. does bad representation mean bad art? when it harms people yes. but when it speaks to a deeper truth (the truth of “we are all given to vice and imperfection even if it is not this specific version”), no. but that requires quite a degree of sophistication and self-awareness to identify, hence the discomfort of continuous vitriol or bad takes

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Meant To Meet

The Curator (The Dark Pictures Anthology) x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Y/N and the Curator are enjoying an evening at the Repository, treating themselves to the many stories the place has to offer. But none of those books manages to capture Y/N’s attention quite like the person reading them. It’s about time she admitted it.

Requested by Anon. Hello! Sorry to be posting your request so late dear, I’ve been swamped with work and I really apologize for not being able to get to it sooner. Thank you for the request and for your incredible patience. Hope you enjoy the read. Love, Vy ❤

My mind is all over the place. I have a good reason to stay focused but I just can’t find it in me. This is the fifth story the Curator has attempted to read me today, but it’s been a struggle for me to memorize a single word let alone the plot and character names. Therefore, I can recall nothing from any of the passages read so far. I tried to blame it on the stories, but I’m starting to think I’m the problem. Who am I kidding, of course I am! But not entirely. What is a girl to do when she suddenly views someone she sees every day as something more than a friend. Sure, this would be a ridiculous thought if it were heard by anyone else. But not to me. I see perfect sense in it - he’s the only one that truly knows me. He notices the small details, understands how my brain works. He’s got insane insight on me that sometimes is quite scary.

He knows how to make the good moments memorable, the bad moments better, the sad endings into hope and good endings into excitement. He understands what it’s like to be stuck in one place. Literally and metaphorically.

Well, I met him while I was metaphorically stuck in this weird life of mine. I couldn’t figure out where I had come from or where I was going. All I knew was that I needed an escape, but I couldn’t find that either. I was the most hopeless I had ever been.

And then luck suddenly decided to move onto my side, flip a page I couldn’t. Get my life moving again.

I was heading to a job interview in a part of town I had never been in before. You can imagine I was not at all enthusiastic or even the tiniest bit hopeful. After going from one potential job to another, never hearing good news back and having to deal with the heavy heart of never being good enough, I was not looking forward to another rejection. It was a simple job I was going for - a personal assistant for a lawyer. Sure, it was a bit far from my apartment but it was a chance, and Lord knows I was gonna take each and all chances.

Walking down the empty, unfamiliar street, I kept looking at the signs, searching for the name of the lawyer I was supposed to meet with. I tried dialing the phone number I saw in the paper but no one picked up my call. I was already starting to deal with it, convincing myself this was better than a ‘Sorry, you’re not the fit we’re looking for, but we’ll stay in touch’.

I walked to the very end of the street, seeing nothing but signs of old-timey restaurants, barber and antique jewelry shops. It felt like I was in a different decade, not a different part of town. It felt so comfortable and homey and it would’ve been even more appealing if it wasn’t for the eerie vibe it gave off due to the lack of people walking around.

Eventually, I spotted them - two big wooden doors with small colorful windows on top of them. They were the fanciest element of the street, sticking out almost hypnotically. The temptation to invade the inside of the building behind them was eating away at me. One of the doors was even slightly open, like an invitation to walk in and explore what they hid.

No, this could end REALLY badly! Imagine if someone lives there!, I tried telling myself, tried to force my feet to move in any direction just away from the doors. However, they wouldn’t budge. I was stuck in place quite literally this time. Seeing my unmoving state as a sign and against my better judgement, I stepped forward, closing the distance between me and the two giant pieces of polished wood. Before I knew it, I had placed my hand on the golden handle of the slightly opened door and gave it that push that would result in it opening entirely, revealing a very faintly lit, ominous hallway at the end of which was another pair of wooden doors, these much more ordinary. I subconsciously walked in, my feet weighing down the wooden floorboards which were covered by a carpet.

I felt slightly more confident going in, seeing as how the place had no spirit to be a home. It was too dark, too creepy and definitely minimalistic. The walls framing the hallway did have a painting or two on them but even those paintings were rather off-putting, I couldn’t look at them for long. I expected the floorboards to creak with every step I took but they were surprisingly silent, not fulfilling the horror movie cliché I had in mind.

The other pair of doors wasn’t nearly as tempting to open, but I had run out of any hesitations at that point. Pushing them open I was met with a wonderland that seemed to have been created especially for me. Books, old books lining what looked to be an endless amount of shelves. I felt tiny surrounded by knowledge I was yet to discover. I felt a new sense of excitement bubbling up in my stomach, something I hadn’t felt in a while.

“Good afternoon.“ A male voice startled me, coming out of the blue. “How can I help you?“

I quickly turned around, looking for the voice’s owner. Then I saw it - a silhouette of a man sitting in an armchair by the unlit fireplace at the complete opposite end of the gigantic room. In his hands I could see the outline of a large book.

“Um, hello.“ I returned his greeting, making a few steps in his direction shyly, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to walk in like that I just...“

“Couldn’t help it?“ He cut me off, “Yes, this place does posses a strange power over the people that near it. Well...not all people. You must be quite special.“

I was taken aback by his words. Now at closer proximity, I could see his icy eyes. They were sending me a warm and friendly gaze despite how cold and empty they looked. He was clearly older than me, his attire and overall demeanor fitting in perfectly, not only with this place but with this entire part of town. His silver hair was slicked back, not a single piece of it out of place.

“Uh...thanks?“ I was well aware it sounded more like a question rather than an expression of gratitude to his questionable compliment, “I was actually in search of the office of Mr. Harper. A lawyer in the area. I’m going for a job interview. So, if you could point me in the right direction, I’d really appreciate it.“

The man nodded reluctantly, closing the book and placing it on the carpet with such caution as if it was fragile. He slowly got up, “I’m afraid you’re on the wrong street, Miss. And I’m sorry to inform you the spot you’d be applying for is already taken. Has been for a few days now, actually. Mr. Harper and I are good friends, he told me about it.” A small apologetic smile appeared on his face. “But, I’m not a bearer of bad news entirely. How about I give you a proposition?” He made a pause, scanning my face for a reaction. I raised an eyebrow at him as a signal for him to continue which he did after he got up from his chair, “You see, this place is too big to be kept by a single person. I could use a helping hand. We’ll discuss the paycheck, that won’t be a problem, I can assure you.”

A job. And I won’t even need an interview. Nor any special qualifications. Well-payed. Bonus is that I’ll get to spend my days in the company of so many books. So many stories. Sign. Me. Up!

You can bet I accepted the offer on the spot and I enjoyed every moment on the job since. The Curator, which is the man’s identity as I was soon to find out, was a pleasant, kind man who didn’t hold it against me when I’d drop my cleaning duties to sit on the floor and read a book that had distracted me. Hey, can anyone blame me? A bookworm like me being in the Repository is the equivalent of putting a kid in a toy store. Not to mention he’d read me stories while I was working or on break. What better job could I ask for?

Well....

Fast-forward to now - half a year later - a month ago, I found a far better paying job, a lot closer to home and one that’d allow for me to show my true skills, not just dusting shelves and organizing books and occasionally making tea. So, I was forced to quit, however, that didn’t stop me from coming back to the Repository.

To my dismay I only recently came to terms with the reasoning behind the magnetic energy this place possessed over me. The Curator was right about that pull this place had. For me it was different, though - it wasn’t the place pulling me back.

“Y/N you’re not listening again, are you?“ The Curator’s suddenly more authoritative voice shook my mind out of its wandering state, reminding me that there’s a present I should be living in.

I blink a few times as if awoken from a deep slumber. My eyes meet his and I feel my cheeks reddening under his caring gaze. “Of course I am!”

A smirk starts playing on his lips as if he has already proven his point, “Then tell me: what was Christopher’s dilemma?”

Well shoot, I should’ve expected a question to confirm my nonsense, too bad I didn’t hear a word he has read. “Um...how to end global warming?”

The Curator laughs, closing the book. “Alright, alright, I get that you’re not in the mood to be listening to stories today.” He sets it aside on his desk before leaning back in his chair, “Do not take this out of context, but why did you come today if you didn’t feel up for a read? Actually,” he straightens his posture yet again, “Why do you keep coming here altogether? Once again, don’t mistake this question for anything, I’m just curious. I know it’s far from your home and you either have to walk four miles or waste money on transport, either way, you’re wasting time...” He trails off, having run out of things to say. It probably has something to do with the blank stare I’m giving him unintentionally.

I snap out of it, shaking my head. “Um, isn’t it obvious?” Yeah, isn’t it? Like, whenever I’m around him I feel like I’m holding a big sign that says that I have fallen for my ex-boss - a man rather older than me, mind you. And on top of all that - a man that hasn’t nor will ever look at me with the same

His faint eyebrows raise the tiniest bit, “Obvious? Well, if it is, consider me ignorant.“ The usual smile returns, “Please, enlighten me.“

Am I really gonna do this right now? I mean, he never leaves this place so if I do end up making a fool of myself - which I’m most certainly will - all I have to do to avoid him is avoid coming here. How much do I have to lose? Only him. But then again, I’ve never had him to begin with,

“At first, it was all about the books and stories this place holds. It’s truly magical that way. Then it was the atmosphere, which is directly related to the books...and to you. And then it was only you.“ I pause before cringing and adding, “Please don’t make me elaborate. You can guess what I mean.“

He gives my outburst a slow, indecisive nod. “I see.” He mumbles, “Well, you can always find me here, Y/N. And while I do understand what you mean, I in no way encourage it. However,..” He makes a pause as if asking of me to look at him which I end up doing. Why is beyond me, but as I said, he has an effect on me I cannot describe, “I won’t discourage it either. Who am I to tell you how to feel or not to feel. We’re all human, after all. Except me, of course.” That has become an ongoing joke of him not being human, but I never pay much mind to it. “You deserve better than me, Y/N. Trust me, I know myself and I know you. I advise you let it go.”

The sympathetic look he’s giving me fills me with both shame and comfort. At last I got it off my chest. Sure, I made a fool of myself, but I now feel ten pounds lighter. “Then I’m inclined to listen to you. As of now...” I reach for the book he was reading me minutes ago, “You’ll be listening to me.”

He chuckles, leaning back in his chair once again, “I have nothing against it.”

I feel at peace, reading a story that I was an idiot not to pay attention to the first time. I’m once again reminded that the more a mind wanders, the more frightening things seem. I am now determined to never take my focus off the present. Because that’s the only way to truly live life: In the moment, with a clear head and a chest with nothing to weigh atop it.

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degenderates · 3 years

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On Slash Fic:

Why it appeals to so many, its gender demographics, and how it will change with the expansion of mainstream fandom.

you can also read this meta on ao3 here.

Let’s begin by defining slash. According to TV Tropes, “The most common definition of Slash is a Fan Fic that pairs two (or more) characters of the same sex. Often, ‘slash’ is used for male/male pairings only, while ‘femslash’... [is] used to define a female/female pairing.” For the sake of clarity in this post, I’ll be using “slash” to refer to m/m ships only, and “femslash” for f/f ships.

So...seems simple. Most of us ship male characters together. This has been a hallmark of transformative fandom, way back to Kirk/Spock in the 60s. It’s only recently that the vast amount of slashfic consumed and written by mainly women, presumed to be cishet women, has been slid under the microscope of the critical eye. This isn’t a bad thing, of course; being self-aware of why people do what they do is always beneficial, especially when that has to do with hierarchical social structures. However it is a marked, albeit slow-progressing, change.

Prior to modern fandom, where social media usage was not the primary source of fan gathering (let’s just call tumblr a social media for organizational purposes), there was generally an unspoken understanding that slash shipping (and shipping in general) was the way it was. It did not reflect one’s values, nor their desire for canon (though of course, for many it did). So to continue on in this exploration of pre- and post-social media slash, we have to talk about shipping in its own right.

Shipping has many different meanings to different people, as do its subsections (anti [ship], pro shipping, self shipping, etc). I personally use the widest band of definition possible: simply that one sees the romantic and/or sexual potential of two characters and wants to explore that story further. Plain and simple as that. This is why I am pro shipping; it does not mean that you support the relationship or want it to be canon, rather that you’d just read fanfic for it because the dynamic fascinates you (and this is where much darkfic comes in...but that’s another post entirely).

To some fans, however, a ship only exists for their own pleasure, a way to live vicariously through the characters. In this way, fans ship two characters because they’re hot, not because they want the dynamic or the story. And this is perfectly valid! The reason why someone ships something is irrelevant. But it’s important to note that this reason exists because it leads to a couple notable trends in shipping:

1) Cishet women may ship a m/f ship because they relate to the female character and find the male character hot. Example: reylo (this is not to say all reylos do this--I'm a reylo and I don't find Kylo attractive--but I do think it’s a factor). This is why main female characters are shipped with so many people. If we’re talking about Star Wars, we get Padmé/Maul and Ahsoka/Anakin, which don’t make sense in terms of canon, but are shipped because the female shippers find the male characters hot. Which leads into the next option.

2) It also makes sense for traditional slashers (cisgender, heterosexual women) to only ship or write/read about m/m pairings if they only find men hot. Do you see what I’m getting at here? If they only want to see characters sexually who are hot, and they are only attracted to men, no women will ever be involved in their fic. This also explains the truly heartbreaking lack of femslash content within women-dominated transformative fandom.

Okay. Now that that’s out there, we’re going to have to get into what may be uncomfortable topics, so be aware: homophobia & incest will be discussed ahead! Some of this meta is inspired by this post by @go-diane-winchester about the Supernatural fandom (specifically, wincest vs destiel fans from a wincest shipper’s POV), which I disagree with on a couple fronts, but it gives insights into the minds of traditional slash shippers and is pretty informative! Especially to me, as someone who has never watched and never will watch Supernatural. Now, let’s continue!

As I’ve mentioned, many have seen shipping as sexual escapism, a fantasy. Which basically means that in Ye Olde Fandom Days (okay...I’m talking about the late 90s-early 00s here), those types of shippers might have seen m/m gay ships as a sexual fantasy, rather than something to look up to with canon expectation. On its own, this interpretation is...okay. But it can easily lend to homophobia, because someone who is homophobic might not be alright with gay people in real life (especially women!) but will be perfectly fine with slash ships in fanfic. This is not to generalize female cishet slashers; there are a litany of reasons that people ship slash, but this is just one of the more dangerous ones. It’s not only homophobic, but fetishizing. There’s nothing wrong with finding sex hot, no matter what the characters’ genders are, but seeing gayness as wrong, and only okay as a fantasy for a straight woman in fanfic, is bad. And there’s a big difference between the two.

Just to expand on that a little - the reason why this is a problem is because one of the tenants of pro shipping is that it’s okay to write about incest, minor/adult and other unhealthy dynamics in fic, because it’s fiction and therefore not real, not reflecting the irl desires of the author or reader. By putting slashfic at this same level/expectation, you are equating being gay to being incestuous or pedophilic, even if that was not the intention. But I digress...

Over the past twenty years, as the internet has developed and grown into its contemporary form, being gay has become more acceptable (and legal). This is evidenced in both political gains such as the repeal of the ban on LGBTQ+ people serving in the military and nationally legalized gay marriage (USA), as well as cultural ones in TV and literature about (canonically) queer characters and relationships. Queer folks growing up in this new society, the older Gen Z’s (myself included!) have had the luxury of living in a slightly less homophobic/transphobic world. In other words, we have hope for our gay ships to be canon because the world is changing, and we have learned that it’s possible! Even in a shitty, homophobic, queerbait-y, superhell-y way, it’s possible!

Anyways. How am I so salty about a show I’ve never even watched???

Because of the world we live in, there’s now an expectation for gay ships to progress further than fanon, to extend into canon and receive the same treatment as the shipping of a heterosexual love triangle. And as such, the perception of traditional slash is changing. No longer is it seen through the lense of cishet women, but through a group of newer fans, many of whom use slash to figure out their sexuality or gender. Slash is still a valid form of fic for cishet women, too! There’s a freedom that comes from reading slash where the reader doesn’t have to worry about the gender politics of sex and power dynamics because both the partners involved are men!

Basically, we’re in that weird interim period where some people still see slash as for fiction-only, and some see it as a path towards an endgame. Example: wincest shippers would never want it to be canon. Destiel shippers would (and it happened...I guess...). The founder of Ao3 herself, Naomi Novik, said that she wrote slash in her fanfic for fun, while in her pro work she wanted to include more female agency. I’m not here to defend this response; though I love her, the response she gave to an important and valid question about representation in her novels was lacking. And unfortunately, this is all too common among straight [women] authors (I asked the same thing to Marissa Meyer and was also deflected).The point here is that some people equate slash = fanfic, which is a very different experience than someone who equates slash = canon. This is oversimplifying, but I hope my explanation is coming through here!

There’s one final thing I must touch on before concluding this post: yaoi. I can’t really speak on this, as I’m not involved in anime or eastern fandom in general. I do know, however, that in a lot of fandom spaces, girls see “boy x boy”/”boy’s love” as a genre rather than simply gender. In the case of shojo manga, where much yaoi resides, it sort of is, because that content depends on a specific dom/sub-masculine/feminine dynamic. This is not a post that will either condemn or praise yaoi/shojo/etc; it’s not my place. But slash operates in a similar fashion; it usually forces mlm into “top”/”bottom” stereotypes, and is consumed and created by straight women.

There are often hypocritical double standards held for yaoi/slash. Many tumblr residents will bash yaoi with all their might and yet religiously consume slash, when much of it is the same. It’s also interesting to note that there are certain ships within fandom that will heavily lean towards the “yaoi” tropes of age and height difference, submissiveness, etc. The associated fanfic reflects this, and the fanart is often drawn more anime-style. Therefore, fandom is impacted by culture, and it is lowkey racist for queer white people to rail against yaoi while not fully understanding the cultural context, which I don’t fully know myself, especially as someone who looks into the “genre” as a researcher, not a fan.

And not to dig myself into a tangent, but eastern fandom has always been more accepting of taboo dynamics; teacher/student and bully/nerd romances are common in dramas, for instance. Again, that’s worth a whole other post.

I think that as western culture continues to become more accepting of gay relationships in mainstream media, fic will come to reflect that, too. Slash ships will be written in a more “normal” fashion, perhaps by fans who are mlm themselves, and there will be less of a need for a saturation of m/m ships in fandom because we will have that representation onscreen! (And can we get that for wlw too please?!) If transformative fandom ever appeals to men (even straight men!) as much as it does for women, we may also get more femslash (again: this is coming from the assumption that an author wants to write about characters they are sexually attracted to).

TL;DR: there’s no one reason or even dominant reason that women write slash. People are quick to cry “fetishization!” or defend it without taking criticism and looking deeper, and there’s a whole myriad of factors that play into the human psyche. And though slash and transformative fandom are changing, one thing that will always stay the same is our love for shipping characters.

And that’s a wrap! What do y’all think? Let me know and let’s continue to critically examine fandom!

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earthingoddity · 4 years

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so you know how y’all are constantly like: “what’s there to like about season five???”. i decided to make a list *-*

1. the discussion of disability in a teenage show. how many teenage shows can you name featuring disabled characters? and how many of those feature a character becoming disabled in the course of the show and having to adapt to that? i was very surprised when i realized this was the route they were going to take this season and i think it was very well done.

so let’s break that down:

1.1 they actually made sure to talk about other disabilities. i know some people will say they were just doing the bare minimum, but i disagree. that is such a complex theme, they could’ve easily said representing other disabilities respectfully would be a lot of work for only ten episodes, but they did their best with the limited amount of time they had.

1.2 the representation of the deaf community wasn’t limited to their disability. it actually pisses me off hearing people say “wow, for a while there, i even forgot arthur was deaf!” as if he *has* to let you know everytime he’s on screen. disabled people are more than their disabilities, thank you very much.

1.3 overall, it was a positive representation. they could’ve spent so much time going through all the things that would be too hard for arthur, but they actually had an entire episode where arthur was completely deaf - he took his hearing aids off - and it was a very happy and positive episode. he was having fun, clubbing, dancing, laughing with others, and i think we took a lot of that for granted in the midst of everything that was going on, but that was a really positive representation that didn’t limit itself to stereotypes around deaf/disabled people. i actually expected that they’d drag a lot longer the feeling of loneliness and discomfort of the first couple of episodes, but they quickly changed that rhythm, so that instead of focusing on what arthur was “losing”, they focused on everything that arthur was gaining - new friends, a new love interest and a new way to see the world. also, in relation to the whole implants thing, they delivered very in depth opposite perspectives on the matter and never felt like they were shaming one group or the other.

2. SyMbOLisM! skam france is very good at it and they nailed this aspect in season three. but there was a lot of it in season five as well. like the 7am clips in episode 2, that were used to show the lack of progression in arthur’s hearing and his growing frustration and how those clips were incredibly dark, to match his mood. episode 7 also had such an interesting meaning. with arthur taking the chance to explore the world without his hearing aids, he got to explore a whole *new* world, and not a lacking one, which ties very well with what i just said about being a positive rep, but also shows that the entire episode wasn’t about arthur finding a new layer of himself, but rather him just uncovering one that was already there.

3. use of music/sound effects. it can be hard to represent deafness in a media like a tv show, but skam france did it so well. the use of music is always very conscious in this remake; while others really go hard in the soundtrack, skam france hardly ever has background music, unless it means something. another small thing but that i loved was whenever arthur was taking off/putting on his hearing aids, if he was to put the left one first for example, the sound on the left side of your headphone would start first. it was such a small thing but made the experience a lot more immersive imo, as well as the use of muffled sounds, pitching, etc.

4. Arthur. i am always surprised whenever i hear people say that they liked arthur better when they were not in his pov. i completely disagree, but then again, i feel like this fandom has very unhealthy expectations on their mains, as if they haven’t watched already 4 seasons of the main making mistakes over and over again, lol. i loved getting to know more of arthur - he’s loyal AF and protective of the people he loves. he struggles in letting people in, though, and never wants to be a burden or worry others. he’s perceptive and quick to notice when his friends need help. he is also short-tempered and when he gets mad, it is explosive, but he doesn’t hold grudges for long. he was a much more complexed character than i imagined and he totally made this season for me.

5. le gang. this boysquad is the best, sorry. they’ve always been the funniest and warmest, but it was really nice how s5 explored all the sides of that relationship, including the not so pretty ones. they were the relationship i wanted the most angst from, and i am so happy i got it. i loved seeing how chaotic, but supportive they were of arthur though and they brought so many laughs this season.

5.1 the lack of toxic masculinity. i think this ties well with arthur, because it is amazing to me that even though we were following a straight white boy as a main this season, we had no moments of unhealthy masculine competition; le gang could actually talk about other things rather than just porn stars and jerking off (other boysquads Wish!); and arthur would literally flirt with anyone without a care in the world, because he’s certain of his sexuality like that. it was *refreshing* for once not to be confronted with these tropes that have become so common in teenage shows.

7. alexia. i have to talk about alexia separately here, because that’s the most we’ve ever seen from a chris character (not counting eskam cris, ofc), and i loved her so much. she wants to be a videogame designer and she’s creative and adorable. she always knew how to make arthur laugh, but also knew when he needed words of affirmation and she was never shy in telling him how much she loved him. it was also amazing seeing her open up about some of her insecurities, and that her confidence is something she had to work on as well. she was such a great friend & girlfriend and just ugh the best.

7.1 the female characters are badass and unapologetic. i am aware that the love triangle was unnecessary and a mess. but i am not mad about the way both characters were represented, because they were both great characters. i liked alexia more simply because i was already attached to her from previous seasons, but noée was badass as well and teaches arthur so much, and not only about her experience as a deaf person, but about life/love in general.

8. arthur’s relationship with his mom. we LOVE and STAN parents in the skamverse. arthur and his mom had the best relationship ever; i loved how they truly became a team by the end of the season. but since the moment she showed up, it meant so much that arthur could have at least one supportive and loving parent, no matter how much he screwed up or felt lost. his mom was really trying her best and i adored her.

9. *actual* adult advice. i understand why all the adults in the skamverse are a bit cringey and weird, but i feel like this results in these characters relying on each other’s poor advice throughout an entire season before they realize what they actually should do. and the talk with the school’s nurse and his doctor by the end of the season was meaningful AF and i wish something the remakes would explore more often, because it could resolve so many of their issues just talking to someone who knows better, lol.

10. the relationships with the girlsquad. i know this is actually very intentional of skam france - to build a specific kind of dynamic between the main and all the side characters. we saw that in season 3, and i think it’s a lot more evident here, but it still made a lot of sense and warmed my heart so much. arthur and imane were the purest - she was the first one to notice that something was wrong with him and also reached out to give him advice on how medical school could still be a possibility even with his disability when she absolutely didn’t have to, but she’s just a sweetheart like that. arthur and daphné had a lot more tension, which is understandable, because both are protective of their own best friends (bas and alexia) and would defend them to the ends of the earth. i think they honestly have a lot more in common than they think. but my favorite dynamic was arthur and emma. i totally did not expect for emma to have such a part in this season, but every single one of their interactions was Gold. emma could see a lot of herself in arthur and i think that’s why she was so quick to notice that he wasn’t interested in becoming a surgeon at all. that scene when she says it would’ve been nice to have arthur as a brother was the sweetest thing Ever.

11. i’ll finish with the acting. y’all, the guy who plays arthur literally CARRIED this season and i hope his back is doing fine. he was So powerful - he made me cry, and laugh, and feel frustrated. he delivered every single emotion perfectly. i also think that the fact these actors are friends irl (i assume? lol but i think i’ve seen them in each other’s personal IG stories) really helps their chemistry on camera. le gang feels like a group of brothers/best friends and they were always so natural and effortless in their interactions. the new actors also Rocked and delivered so much emotion even if they were using a completely different language and it was awesome.

(also, this just literally applies to *me*, a lucas lallemant HOE, but it was so nice seeing lucas up close from a different perspective. the fact we could still see so many layers of him: his emotional self, his bratty self, his supportive self, even a touch on his abandonment issues and everything made me so happy. i think sometimes i forget the lucas character was real and not something i made up because he feels too good to be true, and it was really interesting seeing him from arthur’s POV).

i’m not here defending the mistakes they made in s5, i don’t think it’s a perfect season either, but tbh i have yet to find what i consider to be a perfect season in the skamverse, so here’s just some things i liked about this season that i feel like y’all should take into consideration as well. thx

#skam france #i am aware that no one cares bc judging is easier than listening #but i had this on my drafts for weeks now so i was like hm might as well post it #:)

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illneverrecover · 4 years

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is that so? (M) | jwy

➛pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Reader ➛genre: non idol!AU, established relationship, fluff, smut ➛word count: 5,094 ➛rating: M ➛warnings: oral sex (female receiving), food play if you squint?, marking, biting, slight roughness, praise, anal play (female receiving), butt plugs, unprotected sex, wooyoung being a loud sweet man. ➛summary: You’ve had a rough few days - hell, weeks - at work, and your new boyfriend Wooyoung knows just how to show you how much you’re appreciated. ➛notes: EEEE, My first Ateez fic! I’ve been following Ateez since debut and fell completely in love with them, so I was excited when one of my fave clowns ladies, @thiccasswonhoruinedmylife commissioned me to write a Wooyoung piece. She requested something with Wooyoung cooking for an anniversary present with smut and fluff, which fits him perfectly tbh. Love you Bri, I hope you enjoy! 🖤 ➛song: Try/Effortless - DVSN & Say My Name - Ateez

Fuck, you’re tired.

You’re always tired.

You can’t remember the last time you didn’t feel exhausted, where you felt well rested by the time your alarm went off at the crack of 5 am. Work was draining you to the dregs, long hours with even longer meetings (that could have been EASILY summed up in an email) and copious hours spent hand holding grown men on how to do their jobs (but getting paid infinitely less than them.) They take their toll, and now you dread going - hell, even looking at the building could kill your mood.

The only saving grace was your amazing boyfriend.

You hadn’t been dating too long, about two months, but it was one of those things where you had an instant connection, the click of two puzzle pieces fitting just right. It had been at one of your friends house parties (the ones you normally skip due to wanting to catch up on sleep) but this time she had insisted you come, adamant that you met her boyfriend’s friend who had recently moved back into town. You had brushed her off; knowing her for as long as you had, there was a solid chance that whomever her and her long time beau, Seonghwa, were trying to set you up with was either not your type, a fuckboy, or a combination of both.

However, she had badgered you enough that you agreed to go, if only to get her off your back for the next few soirees (and to get her to lay off the dramatic gifs she had been spamming you with). Running late from work, you showed up in your business casual a few hours after it had started, the place eerily quiet as you could see silhouettes of guests mingling on the back porch. Taking advantage of not being noticed quite yet, you had decided to make yourself a strong glass of liquid courage before facing her and whatever fuckery was afoot for the evening.

You had just reached into the back of the fridge for the bottle of strawberry soju you knew was waiting for you when a voice had you jumping.

“Anything good in there?”

Whirring around, you had found a blonde man eyeing you, hair swept off his forehead to show off his glistening skin. Your eyes dropped to his mouth, his plush coral lips curved up into a sly smirk as he leaned his forearms down against the counter.

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” you swallowed, raising a brow at the stranger. “I know Red always keeps a bottle of strawberry soju in her fridge for little old me, hidden in the back so Seonghwa doesn’t steal it.” You had popped open the lid, choosing to chug straight from the bottle instead of fussing with a glass. “I promise I’m not just rummaging through there.”

He had laughed then, his voice pitching higher than you had expected, and it had made you smile.

. He held his hands up in a surrender, palms out, a toothy grin on his face. “Hey, no judgment. I was about to do the same - but for food. Seongie is out there trying to grill but he’s such a perfectionist it’s taking forever, even Red is threatening to call for take out.”

Chuckling, you shook your head. “Sounds about right. I’m Y/N, by the way,”

Holding out a hand, you had waited until he placed his palm in your own, giving it a firm nod.

“I’m Wooyoung, Seongie’s friend. I just moved back into town.”

Ah, so he was the mysterious unofficial blind date.

You had eyed him then, fully taking him in from head to toe, assessing him as if you’d be able to tell his character from undressing him in your mind. He had been wearing some kind of dark button down, the top buttons open to bare some of his tanned chest, a jean jacket thrown over top to keep it casual. A few black chokers circled his neck, emphasizing the muscles there, matching the wash of his inky skinny jeans that were so tight you weren’t totally convinced that they hadn’t been painted on.

His eyes had widened at your appraisal, but he hadn’t spoken a word, instead giving you another smirk while waiting for you to comment.

“It’s nice to meet you, Wooyoung.”

And it really was. From that point on, you two had been inseparable, even once rejoining the official party. Staying hip to hip, you talked about anything and everything, from the most mundane to the downright unexpected (you don’t think you have ever seen a grown man discuss Harry Potter with such wonder in his eyes), and you found yourself not wanting to go home, even as everyone else cleared out. It was only natural to accept his invitation to continue your evening, to be squeezed into a 24 hour diner booth discussing movies until the bleary hours of early morning over a plate of french fries. You just didn’t want the moment to be over, for the night to end, for the spell to dissipate.

Luckily, you had both been on the same page.

Fate had taken its course from there, and there wasn’t a day that passed that you and Wooyoung didn’t see each other, even if it was just over FaceTime as you warmed up leftovers after work. He was so attentive, so sweet, so funny, bringing back a spark into your life that you hadn’t even been aware of that was missing.

Maybe you had moved a little fast in the perception of others, but to you, it had just felt instinctive to exchange love declarations after the third week, to swap apartment keys sometime during the fifth.

Unfortunately, your work schedule has been relentless, your days still painfully long and showing no signs of stopping. Wooyoung is understanding, always offering to run your errands for you and asking how he can help make your life easier. Even when he can’t help, when the load gets too heavy to bear - he holds you, lets you rage cry out your frustration, rubs soothing circles into your back until you feel a weight lifted once more. “I’d do anything to see your smile, Jagiya,” he’d tell you with a wide grin, light in his eyes.

And he went out of his way to make that promise come true as often as possible, from little notes left on your door when you come home at night, to silly dance moves in your kitchen as a Britney Spears song blares from your Bluetooth speaker. He even made sure to make your one month anniversary special by having your favorite flowers waiting for you when you got home, your bedroom turned into the vision of comfort with blankets and pillows and a large bowl of popcorn, perfect for a movie marathon.

He was truly the perfect man, the reason you got out of bed in the morning, the inspiration to fight through the longest of shifts - and you were so thankful to have him, always hoping he could feel how much his love meant to you.

So it wasn’t a surprise when you came home to him cooking inside your apartment one Friday night after work.

You had actually gotten off work at a decent time for once, feet crossing the threshold just as the clock showed it was a quarter after 5, and you had sighed heavily with relief when the smell of sauteed garlic hit your nose. Kicking off your heels, you wandered towards the kitchen, your heart skipping a beat when you saw your boyfriend standing at the stove.

He has a bright red apron tied around his neck, a flash of words on the front though you couldn’t quite read them. Instead, you were too focused on the ingredients piled onto the counter, the slight flush in his cheeks from working over a hot stove. Candles were placed everywhere, setting the room into a soft glow, and there was a bottle of wine aerating next to twin glasses on the table, plates waiting to be filled.

He spins when he hears you, grinning at the soft look on your face. “Hey, Jagi. How was work?”

You click your tongue. “Don’t ‘how was work’ me, what’s all this for? Are you trying to spoil me?”

He moves towards you then, giving you an eyeful of his “May I suggest the sausage?” apron, complete with an arrow pointing down to his crotch, making you snort.

“First of all, how dare you. I’m always trying to spoil you.” Sliding his arms around your waist, you rest your face on his shoulder, melting into his touch. “Second of all,” he murmurs, lips pressed to your crown, “it’s our two month anniversary, so I thought I’d surprise you.”

“You are too good to me, Woo.”

Humming, Wooyoung sways, keeping you trapped in his arms for a beat longer before moving to plant a peck on your cheek. “No such thing as too good for you. Now, go sit down, rest, let me finish up. I’m just about finished.”

You do as ordered - moving to sit at the table, deciding to wait until after dinner to change, not wanting to take your eyes off of him. Instead you poured yourself a glass of wine, sipping it slowly as you watched him cook. It was endearing; seeing him work around the kitchen, brow furrowed in concentration when he would double check the recipe on his phone screen, tongue poking out the side of his mouth when he measured out a spice. He seemed to be taking it so seriously, making sure each step was perfect before moving to the next, which in comparison to the mess he was leaving in his wake, is amusing.

For what he lacked in skill, he makes up in confidence, wielding the knife with ease as he made the final slices to the meat, tossing them in a pan to saute. With a final stir, he adds them to the pot, gathering the sides with oven mit clad hands before sitting it down on the table.

A quick glance told you it was some kind of ramen, noodles and vegetables simmering in an aromatic liquid, steak lined on the top with some hard boiled eggs nestled next to it. Moving to the fridge, he grabs a few more bowls and side plates wrapped in plastic, bringing them to join the other dishes.

“I thought we could have my world famous ramen for dinner tonight,” he explains, tearing the plastic off to reveal the side entrees. “It’s a bit of a mashup of Korean kimchi ramen, but I also wanted you to have options on what to add to yours.”

He seems nervous, vibrating with untapped energy. Smiling, you reach out and squeeze his hand. “It’s perfect, seriously. Thank you, Wooyoung.”

Like a true gentleman, he fixes your initial bowl, walking you through all the side entree options and flavors, giving suggestions based on your preferences. Only once you are settled does he prepare his, grinning like a madman when he finally takes a seat.

Instead of tearing into the food like you expected, he stares at you, eyes dancing with mischief. Your hand hovers over the bowl, spoon suspended half way between your food and your mouth, and you raise a brow at him. “What?”

“Nothing! It’s nothing.” he leans back, placing both hands behind his head. “I just want to see the look on your face when you taste it, is all.”

“And why is that? Is there secretly an entire ball of wasabi in here or something?”

He giggles, head shaking. “No!” he protests, voice echoing off the walls. “No, I would never! How dare you!” you join his laughter, despite your spoon still being frozen, waiting for him to continue. “I just want to see your face when you taste the excellence and decadence that is Jung Wooyoung’s cooking.”

“Is that so?” you purr, cheeks starting to hurt from all the smiling you were doing. You couldn’t help it, he was just so cute.

Nodding, he slides his hands under his chin, propping his face up to look at you. “Yes, it is. Some would even liken it to a religious experience. Please,” he gestures a hand out, waving it. “Humor me.”

Without dropping his eyeline, you bring the spoon to your mouth, pursing your lips to blow a puff of air onto it before it reaches your tongue. It was the perfect blend of flavor and kick, the kimchi adding a satisfying crunch.

“So?” he prompts, practically bouncing in his seat. “What do you think?”

“I think this might be the best thing I’ve ever put into my mouth,” you sigh, already scooping your next bite.

He shouts victoriously, throwing his arms in the air. “Yes! I knew you would love it! You aren’t just saying that, are you?”

Swallowing the warm liquid, you lean forward then, grabbing his arm to leverage yourself as you plant a wet kiss to his cheek. “I’m not just saying it, Woo. It’s delicious, thank you so much for making it for me.”

His eyes crease as a wide grin takes over his face, adoration shining and mirrored within your own gaze. “Of course, Y/N. I’m glad you like it.”

The rest of the meal is shared over tales of your days, you filling him in on all the craziness of the office, while he tells you about the appointments he had and how his dance class went. It was always relieving, to come home at the end of the day and have someone to lament to, to share your life with, especially when they were so willing to do the same, and there isn’t a moment of silence as you and your boyfriend finish your dinner together.

You move to stand and clear the table, reaching for his bowl when he smacks your hand. “Absolutely not, Jagi. I am here to spoil you, and that includes cooking AND the cleaning. Sit back down.”

Giving him your best glare, you try to protest, but he isn’t having it, swift hands pushing you back into your seat as he grabs your bowl and heads to the sink. “Plus, who said the meal was over yet?” he calls over his shoulder, placing the bowls down.

“Oh yeah?” you chuckle, crossing your arms. “What else do you got for me?”

His expression changes then; previous playfulness melting away and leaving an edge to his smirk, a darkness to eyes. “Well, dessert, of course.”

You continue to eye him as he moves to the fridge, pulling out a domed container before walking it back to the table. Placing it in front of you, he removes the top with a flourish, kneeling down to your seated height. “I made your favorite,” he husks, voice low. “Peanut Butter Chocolate cheesecake.”

The cheesecake itself was beautiful; he had attempted to decorate it with some chocolate syrup and crushed Reeses, and the evident effort softens you once more. “It looks amazing!” you gush, looking to meet his gaze. “You really have gone all out, haven’t you?”

Instead of answering, he serves you a piece on a small plate, handing you a fresh fork. Grinning, you immediately cut into it, shoving a bite into your mouth inelegantly. Closing your eyes, you let out a groan at the richness of the flavor, chewing slowly to savor it. It really was delectable - the cheesecake a perfect dense yet fluffy texture, peanut butter swirling with the chocolate in harmony.

You were so lost in thought you didn’t pay attention to where Wooyoung had gone; why the room had fallen so silent as you revered your treat. You move to cut another slice off your serving, placing the fork between your teeth when you feel a palm slide up your thigh.

“W-Woo?” snapping your eyes open, you look to the side, expecting your boyfriend to still be kneeling there, but coming up empty.

Peering down, you instead see him crouched between your legs, wicked devilry glittering in his gaze. He slides both hands up your bare thighs, fingers tracing patterns right above the seam of your skirt.

Before you can say a word, he grips your legs and bows them out, making more room for his body, his mouth dipping to press a wet kiss to the flesh above your knee.

“You had such a long day. You work so hard, you’re always working so hard, Y/N. I thought it would be a nice little treat if while you enjoyed your dessert, I could also enjoy mine?” his voice was honeyed with molten lust, but it was still a question - still seeking your comfort.

Groaning, you lick your lips, breath hitching at his touch. “Of course you can,” you rasp, eyes closing once more when you feel his fingers caressing closer and closer to your core.

Dropping your fork, the cheesecake is all but forgotten when Wooyoung continues to trail his lips up your inner thighs, digits reaching for the now dewy panties at the apex, sliding them off your legs. Hand fumbling, you move to work at the side zipper of your skirt, wanting to give him more access, when thick fingers circle your wrist.

“No, Jagi. I want you to leave it on,” he murmurs, hands now moving to bunch your skirt up around your waist. “Like this, you’re so perfect like this.”

Whining, you rake your fingers through his blonde hair, tugging gently at the roots in a silent plea to have him move closer. Chuckling, he acquiesces, pupils wide as he takes in the sight of your dripping cunt.

He hovers for a moment, hot breath fanning over your sensitive flesh, and just before you could beg he drops his mouth to your center. Tongue flicking out, he swirls it around your already engorged clit, tracing the lines of your labia down and back at an unhurried pace, tasting you. Repeating the movements, he groans against you, lips sliding to suckle at your bundle of nerves until your thighs were shaking against him.

He coos praise at you in between long licks against your core, his finger dipping into your wetness briefly before being pressed inside of you. “You taste so sweet, feel so good, Jagi,”

Crying out at the sensation, your hand pulls at his hair once more, wanting the friction, wanting him deeper. He gives in for a moment, tongue rolling against your clit, pulling it between his lips and suckling harshly. You feel your high building rapidly, tension rolling from your bones to deep in your gut, threatening to snap at any moment.

Instead of hurtling you over the edge, he pulls back with a moan, resting his head against the cushion of your thigh. He watches his finger disappear inside you one last time before pulling it out, immediately popping it into his mouth.

Wooyoung looks up at you then, lips shiny with your arousal and eyes blackened with need. “I thought I’d have the patience to finish you off like this, but I don’t. I want to be inside you, now.”

Before you can even finish nodding your head in agreement, you're pulling him to you, cupping his face and pressing your mouth onto his. The kiss is hungry, desperate, dripping in passion, his tongue sliding against yours so deliciously that you feel like you’re drowning in him.

He pulls away enough to trail small kisses down your jaw line, your pulse, until he laves the tender skin at the base of your throat, making you whine. As he sucks and bites his claim onto your neck, you feel his arms grab your legs, guiding you to lock them around his waist before he’s shifting you up into his hold.

The low growls he makes while working over your throat have you distracted, arms coming to brace yourself around his neck as he carries you towards the bedroom. You’re gasping into his mouth when he spins to push you against the wall, pinning you in place under the lithe lines of his body. Throwing your head back, your fingers come to tangle in the hair at the base of his skull, hips grinding against him.

“Fuck, Wooyoung,” you pant as he alters his attack to the other side of your clavicle, insistent on leaving twin marks to claim you. His anguished desire excites you, has you clenching around nothing when he returns to peck at your lips.

He ruts up against you, and for a moment you think he’ll take you right here against your bedroom wall - not that you would mind - but then he slows his hips, releasing his tight grip on your legs as he pulls you towards the bed.

It's there that he undresses you completely, kissing each inch of bare skin as it’s revealed to him, murmuring words of love until you are naked and flushing before him. Sitting up on his knees, he quickly joins you - pulling his shirt off and throwing it haphazardly, kicking off his jeans and boxer briefs.

He stares at you reverently, eyes and hands always roaming the lines of your form. “I have another surprise for you tonight, if you’re up to it,” he husks, lips quirking into a grin.

“Is that so?” you repeat your words from earlier, unable to stop yourself. He chuckles lowly, leaning over you to open the drawer on the bedside table where typically you house your small collection of sex toys. You follow the movement, curious to see what would grab, but your eyes widen when you see him holding something you weren’t familiar with.

It was stainless steel, bulbed at one end before tapering out and flaring into a large circle at the base. The base had a beautiful violet jewel in it that twinkled when the light hit; a small bottle of lubricant nestled beside it in his large palm.

He had bought you a butt plug.

Seeing your expression, Wooyoung chuckles nervously, dropping the items onto the bed in order to hover over you. “I know we’ve discussed trying this in the past, and just thought that after the time we used my fingers, that this might be a good next step…” he trails off, eyes imploring yours. “However, if you don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable, that’s perfectly fine, Jagi. I don’t want to pressure you at all.”

Excitement tore through your nerves, your body lighting up at the idea of doing this with him. He was so thoughtful, so sweet, and you knew in that moment that you trusted him explicitly.

“I want to,” you purr, leaning up to bite at his collarbone. “I want to try this, with you…”

His face illuminates with a smile as he moves to sit up on his knees once more, grabbing the plug. “I want to try this with you too.”

Ignoring the lube for now, he closes the plug in his fist as he moves to lay down between your legs. For a while, he just kisses you everywhere, lets his fingers drag through the slick of your slit, gently rubbing at your nub until you are panting and relaxing against his touch. When your eyes start to close, he grabs for the bottle of lubricant, squeezing a generous amount onto the plug before doing the same against your tight ring of muscles.

Jumping at the sensation of cool gel against heated skin, you take a deep breath, letting yourself get lost in the sensations he was providing you. A thumb was still rolling your clit, while another finger was gently massaging the puckered skin of your ass. Your body felt like wildfire, molten and burning too hot, and yet all you wanted was more.

“I-I think I’m ready, Woo, please,” you whine, hands fisting in the sheets. “Please put it in.”

He groans, fingers stuttering at the wanton sound of your cries. He wanted to drag this out, to tease you until you were blubbering and begging, but between his throbbing cock and your sinful noises, he didn’t think he could wait any more.

Slowly, he starts to push the bulbous end of the plug against you, thumb of his free hand still working against your bundle of nerves. You tense when you feel some pressure, but Wooyoung is there to talk you through it, guiding you to breathe and relax as he takes care of you, edging the plug in.

You sense when it’s pushed in to the hilt, the jeweled edge nestled against your rim, and you sigh in relief at the pleasant buzz of the stretch.

Wooyoung slides to sit up on his knees, a hand coming to smooth circles on the flesh of your inner thigh, while the other palms at his hardened length.

“How does it feel, Jagi? You feel okay?” he breathes, slotting himself between your legs and closer to your center.

You nod, reaching out to grasp at his hips. “I feel so good, baby,” you praise, guiding him until his cock was dragging against your dripping cunt. “Now I just need you inside of me too, please,”

He hisses at your words, pressing the thick head of his length until it was slipping inside the welcoming heat of your walls, slowly moving to bury himself deep inside of you.

The fullness was overwhelming, delicious, his pelvis resting flush against your own. His brow was furrowed, mouth agape in a silent moan as he started to swivel his hips.

“F-Fuck,” you groan, nails dragging down the skin at his sides as he began to pump in and out of you, slowly at first, as if he wanted to make sure you were feeling every inch of him against your engorged walls. The plug was the perfect size to enhance each movement, the dual sensations making you mewl.

“Does it feel good?” he husks, voice impossibly deep as his thrusts increase. “Does Jagi like being so full of me? Likes having that little plug in her ass?”

Whining at his words, you chew at your lip, hands reaching out to tug him closer to your mouth. “Yes, I do, Wooyoung. Just for you, all for you.”

He growls then, hips moving at a punishing pace, basking in your sweet cries of his name, wanting to make sure you were fully wrecked and falling apart for him. He could feel you squeezing against him, so impossibly tight, and knew you were close to unraveling.

Dropping his lips to yours, he licked into your mouth, swallowing your moans as he slid a hand between your bodies to rub at your apex once more.

You broke the kiss to sob, head thrown back against the mattress. “Fuck, I’m gonna come, baby,” your orgasm so close you felt your cunt pulsating, your vision going white. After a few more pumps of his cock and probing circles of your clit, you finally come undone, walls constricting as electricity shoots through your veins, gasps tearing from your throat.

Wooyoung doesn’t last much longer, burying his face in your neck as he finally releases deep inside you with staccato thrusts, only stopping when he was sure every drop was nestled into your tender core.

Catching your breath, you lay for a few soundless moments, fingers tracing patterns on his back while he steadily came down from his high. When he finally moves to get cleaned up, he insists you stay put - instead bringing a wet washcloth and removing the plug for you, wiping you clean.

“Happy Anniversary,” he quips, slapping playfully at your ass, and you can’t help but laugh along, rolling your eyes at him.

After a quick trip to the bathroom you’re back in bed - and his arms - snuggled against his chest, eyes closed in contentment. Wooyoung is so tender, asking every few moments how you felt, if you needed anything. You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were luckier than you ever thought was possible, and you told him so.

“What do you mean, Y/N? I’m the lucky one here. You are so beautiful and smart and successful, and you let me be in your life, let me support you. It’s all I could ever want.” he murmurs, eyes intense as he presses a kiss to your nose. “Plus, you laugh at all my jokes, eat my cooking, and are willing to try new things in the bedroom. You’re basically my dream girl.”

You laugh then, slapping at his arm. “Well, that’s good to know, and right back atcha.”

“What? I’m your dream girl?”

Giggling, you snuggle closer to his chest once more. “Yes. You’re my dream girl and I’m so glad I get to be in your life.” Leaning up, you meet his eyes. “I love you, Wooyoung.”

The responding smile is so bright you think it may blind you, but his joy was infectious as he whoops loudly. “I love you too, Y/N. So much.”

For a moment, there was nothing but peaceful calm, twin hearts beating rapidly as you let him lead you in a chaste kiss, pulling away to rest your forehead against his own.

“Even if your dirty talk could use some work, I love you and I’m still glad to be here-”

“HEY!” he yells, pushing back to look at you, face incredulous. “What do you mean my dirty talk could use some work?! My dirty talk is perfect!”

You shrug, a sly smirk on your face. “Is that so?”

Scoffing, he tries to slide out of your grasp, pout heavy on his lips. “Yes, that is so! What, was I supposed to call you ‘my greedy little ass slut’ right out of the gate? I mean, I knew you were a freak, Jagi, but I was trying to be a gentleman.”

Choking back your laughter, you lock your arms around him, bringing him back against you until you are spooning him tightly, cooing apologies in his ear. It took several minutes of cuddles and reassurance before he would turn to look at you again, his gaze still hard.

Grinning, you cup his face, your finger resting against the plush fullness of his lower lip. “Oh yeah? And what if I don’t want you to be a gentleman?”

“Then I guess we’ll have to go for round two.” he growls, before claiming your lips once more.

#wooyoung x reader #jung wooyoung x reader #wooyoung smut #ateez smut #ksmutclub #wooyoung scenario #ateez scenario #domestic AU #ateez fanfic #wooyoung fanfic #jung wooyoung #ateez #thiccaswonhoruinedmylife #commission #my writing #fic: is that so?#fic: its?

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salmonthestoryteller · 4 years

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That Scene

Yes, this is about Roswell New Mexico 02x06. And I will preface by saying that I dislike the scene. That I view certain actions and motivations in it negatively. That I find the consent dubious at best. So if you're looking for someone to defend this scene, this is not the post for you.

Usually when I write meta or thoughts, I write it by trying to understand the viewpoint of the characters involved. I like to understand how a character got from point A to point B. And yes, objectively, it’s because the author wanted them to. But I like for things to be logical in my fictional worlds. I like there to be an explanation for why a character behaves the way they do. I like to see cause and effect in the stories I consume. So usually I write meta in an attempt to make sense of the story as it is presented.

I’m not going to do that this time.

This is going to be more a set of bullet points from the viewpoint of a consumer of fiction, a writer, and someone in fandom spaces.

So here we go.

What this is not about. (Yes, I feel the need to precede with that.)

It's not about there being a threesome, or a potential poly relationship, in a work of fiction. I have consumed multiple works with both. My objecting to this specific scenario has nothing to do with that.

It is not about gender. Believe me, if you genderswap these characters it will not help the situation at all in my eyes. Nor my opinion on the objectionable actions of certain characters.

This is not about ships. I personally am perfectly capable of multishipping, jumping ships, and even being sold on ships I never imagined by good writing.

So what does bother me about this scene?

For starters, a lack of communication of interest in this occurring at all by the parties involved prior to it happening, which made the situation extremely jarring for me as a viewer.

And, no, Alex discussing that he was comfortable touching Maria over a decade prior while living in an abusive household as a teenager definitely doesn't count as "prior interest."

Do you honestly think who you potentially were okay with being touched by ten years ago counts as some kind of consent for them to touch you in the present? Who you were potentially okay with touching you ten days ago doesn't even count for present consent, let alone ten years.

So the lack of any prior conversation before Maria decided to kiss her gay friend and proposition him is very much an issue for me because it seems extremely disrespectful. As a lesbian the last thing I would ever expect to have to do is explain to my straight male friend I've known for years that I don't want to have sex with him. He should be aware of that without my having to explain it. And the same is very much true for Maria's character.

Maria knows Alex is gay. She is very aware of the fact he has no sexual interest in her. I can't even wrap my brain around the concept of why it would ever occur to her to randomly ask her friend for sex in the first place, let alone to kiss or touch him in a sexual way without asking first.

This is all before considering the fact that Alex is injured and currently has no vehicle to leave the premises with. Which means to leave he has to walk all the way home - or at least to the nearest bus if Roswell has dependable public transport - on a leg that is no doubt causing him pain considering what they just lived through.

If Alex was an injured female with no vehicle to leave with, would you really think it was okay for one of the two people with her to proposition her for sex? Because I wouldn't. And Alex being a male character doesn't change that for me.

Maria kissing him after asking him to stay comes across very manipulative, and Alex agreeing to stay under the circumstances does not come across as "enthusiastic consent" at all in my eyes.

This is before even bringing in the situation between Maria and Michael. I really wish people would stop saying Maria is his girlfriend in this scene - she definitely is not. She kicked him out between four to six weeks ago and hasn't spoken to him since. They weren't even in a committed relationship at that time. Now? Maria actually has no claim on him at this moment at all. So truthfully, she actually has no right to be kissing him either.

Considering Maria went off on Michael kissing Lindsey in front of her, to the point of bringing it up again when Michael came back to her, how is it okay for her to kiss Michael in front of Alex? How is that not supposed to read as anything but petty and an act of jealousy, considering it occurs in the scene right after Michael addresses how important Alex is to him for the first time in front of her? ("Both of you" meaning Maria is not above Alex in his affections. Which is the first confirmation Maria has that Alex's feelings for Michael are not one sided.)

Then there's the fact that she literally told Michael "No Lindseys" when they were previously getting together, meaning she expected him to be monogamous. So why is she allowed to bring Alex into their sexual relationship?

And why is it okay for her to assume Michael wants her back, with no conversation about why they broke up to begin with? And then request he not only have sex with her, but engage in a threesome before confirming their relationship and with no prior discussion about sexual boundaries or if this is something Michael would even want to participate in?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't we told that Michael allowing Alex constantly back into his life after they broke up was bad? Weren't we told the fact that they kept having sex without communication a red neon sign for an unhealthy relationship? (And honestly, yes, it was, which is why I was fine with them saying that.)

How am I supposed to view Maria and Michael as healthy when she not only does the same thing, but takes it a step further and asks him to have sex with her and his ex he still has feelings for without even talking about why she cut him out of her life for weeks first?

My next problem is the morning after scene for a multitude of reasons.

If Alex's consent was so enthusiastic, why is he written as so upset over the whole thing the next day - to the point of referring to it as "what circle of hell am I in?"

Why does Michael seek out Alex to ask if they've crossed a line if he felt "loved" the previous evening? And considering the show's habit of visual clues, why is he dressed in black as opposed to the soft white shirt of the previous day?

And why does Maria listening in at the window next to her - seeing as she knew Alex had left and wouldn't have known otherwise - not feel a need to check up on the friend who sounds upset when she was the one to ask him into her bed? But instead, stays in bed and demands Michael choose between them right then?

I'm sorry, but all of this comes across as very bad to me. And especially bad for Maria, who ends up reading as jealous, petty, and manipulative.

It's not so great for Michael who seems either dense or insensitive when it comes to Alex's clear unhappiness the next day.

And how am I supposed to view it as anything but Alex being taken advantage of, regardless of how you interpret the original consent, when he ends up alone with neither of the people he shared a bed with the previous evening seeming to give a damn that he's upset?

If I had a hope in hell of any of this being addressed, I would perhaps feel less like somebody shoved in a handful of scenes they wrote while on drugs in the middle of a perfectly normal episode. Considering you could literally chop both scenes out and nothing would change tells me the scene has absolutely no value as written.

The bottom line is that all these factors were completely ignored and the scene itself will never even be brought up again because this is CW, and all they wanted was a big sex scene. And that is all it was.

I'm tired of hearing "but it was for comfort."

Considering I didn't see Maria having random sex with Liz any time over the last two seasons when either needed comfort, nor did I see a threesome between Alex, Kyle, and Michael after nearly being blown up at Caulfield, the notion that this is about comfort is such a pathetic excuse.

It was sex. Period.

It was for shock value and ratings. Period.

It was poor writing. Period.

#roswell new mexico #anti malexa #tw consent #yes it's about that scene

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fanfic-corner · 4 years

Text

A-Spec Across Fandoms

23/10/20 - I know I have already done an a-spec post for Destiel fics, but it is asexual awareness week next week, so I thought I’d read a load of fics with ace characters from a few different shows I like! We have some Supernatural, some Doctor Who, some Sherlock, and a couple from Good Omens. Happy ace week!

Supernatural

broken when I’m lonesome by SailorChibi on AO3. (7,015 words).

Tags: Asexual Castiel, Demisexual Dean, Panromantic Castiel, Biromantic Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Angst, Fluff, Touch-Starved, Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Castiel is Not Oblivious, comments that could be taken as ace-phobic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: After being saved from hell, Dean's old methods of coping aren't working anymore: he's not sexually attracted to anyone, and he's not interested in sex no matter how many times he climbs into bed with hot, naked women. Sam is convinced that his brother is just depressed, but Dean knows this goes deeper than that. He still craves the intimacy that can make him feel safe. Fortunately, Castiel is there to both understand and provide.

Notes: This fic really hit home. I’m not sure if it is because almost every person I have ever talked to has had some form of this conversation, but it was still cute.

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words).

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you're going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi on AO3. (1,890 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hunters, Creature Castiel, Procubus Cas, Asexual Castiel, Established Relationship, Hidden Relationship, Assisted Suicide, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "We think Cas is a procubus," Sam blurted out. Then he winced and yelped when Charlie kicked him under the table. "Ow!" "Smooth, Sam," Charlie snapped. Dean looked back and forth between them, realizing that they were both 100% serious. "A procubus." "Basically it's the sexless version of an incubus or a succubus," Charlie explained before Sam could. "It's... it's a demon that kills people by sleeping with them." She was chewing on her thumbnail now, eyes big and apologetic. Sam had done one better pasting on a truly epic kicked puppy expression of apology. "You think Cas is killing people by cuddling with them," Dean said, just to be sure.

Notes: Well that took a bit of a turn. I’m not sure why, but I love fics where Cas keeps bees, it was just so cute to see him that happy! (Even if he was crazy. Shut up).

Consolation by Trell on AO3. (1,195 words).

Tags: Aromantic, Aromantic Relationship, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: In which both of them are ancient, and neither of them are in love with each other.

Notes: Okay, I would first of all like to say that I do not ship Cas and Ten. I was kind of curious though, and clearly whoever wrote this ships Destiel and Ten/Rose. That being said, I am here for some angst; poor Cas and his unrequited love, and poor Ten because all his friends are dead.

Doctor Who

don’t hold this war inside by WishingTree on AO3. (1,824 words).

Tags: Asexual Yaz, Pre-Relationship, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “It’s just - I’m scared,” she finally manages. “Scared?” the Doctor stills where she’s been trying to roll up the sleeves of her coat, shoving the material of one arm over her elbow and asking, “Scared of what?” Yaz doesn’t answer, can’t answer, and the Doctor goes to reach for her, aborting the movement halfway and only managing an awkward swaying motion. “...Scared of me?”

Notes: Thasmin is a ship that, had I not stumbled across it on Instagram, would never have thought of on my own. Much like Sabriel, however, now the idea is in my head, I ship it! Also, the author in this fic manages to perfectly capture the Doctor’s personality, which is quite an impressive feat.

Whatever fits my skin by lloydsglasses on AO3. (1,481 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Gay Character, LGBTQ Character, Aromantic, Pride.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “So, does that happen to you a lot?” Bill asks once they’re safely back in the Doctor’s study, each cradling a mug of tea. “Getting snogged by gorgeous women as a thanks for saving their lives.” The Doctor sets his teacup down gently on the desk, mouth pursing in distaste. “Far more often than I’d like.”

Notes: Oh my god that was so (fucking) cute! Now I want more fics of characters going to pride. Maybe for next June. Also, I’m just saying that I hated Nardole and nothing you can say to me will make me change my mind.

Take It, Leave It (But you’d better believe it) by lloydsglasses on AO3. (760 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character. Aromantic, Canon Gay Character, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “I told my foster mum that I’m gay. Now she keeps trying to set me up with guys."

“Ah,” says the Doctor, with a frown. “That seems… counterintuitive.”

Notes: I’ve always loved Bill and Twelve’s relationship, and this is such a cute scene! It is a crime we haven’t got more River Song content, by the way.

Crescendo by tenscupcake on AO3. (6,013 words).

Tags: Fluff, Asexual Character, Romance.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: As her relationship with the Doctor slowly develops into something a little more than friendship, Rose starts to wonder what's holding him back. But one fateful night, he confesses something that makes her realize she never had any reason to worry.

Notes: Beautifully written! I don’t think I’ve ever read a Ten/Rose fic before, but I have always shipped it and it is adorable.

Sherlock

The Important Bit by Solshine on AO3. (9,984 words).

Tags: Asexual Sherlock, Platonic Relationship, Amarriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Bromance, Domestic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

Notes: Oh, this is absolutely one of my favourite Johnlock fics now. Absolutely adorable (because I love domestic Johnlock okay), I nearly cried, and now I want all the art of Sherlock with a fancy old cane!

the art of getting by (isn’t really so artsy at all) by stupidmuse_hatesme on AO3. (6,521 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Sherlock, Romance, First Time, First Date, Slash.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “He's treating things like they're normal! Things are not normal.” Sherlock drags his hands from his mussed up hair and covers his face. “You aren't helping much,” he mumbles into his palms. “I hope you know that.” The skull only grins from his perch and says not a word. “Really, you're supposed to do more than just--sit there.”

Notes: John is so unbelievably sweet in this, but Sherlock was bit OOC.

what does the world get by coloredink on AO3. (2,302 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Sherlock, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: A women's magazine quiz leads Sherlock to investigate the nature of love.

Notes: A cute lil’ fic about exploring your (in this case, lack of) romantic and sexual attraction.

Surprisingly Simple by heeroluva on AO3. (855 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, First Kiss, Touching, Fluff, Cuddling and Snuggling. My Rating: 3 stars. Description: In which John is asexual, and Sherlock never asks. Notes: Pretty cute, and it is always nice to see a character who is just cool with it, without some massive explanation. I can dream.

Good Omens

An Honest Surrender by Kedreeva on AO3. (4,107 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Post-Apocalypse, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, First Kiss, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Soulmates, Soul Bond, Aziraphale’s True Form, Crowley’s True Form, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: "For six thousand years," Crowley said, voice cracking, "I have wanted something I couldn't have, because I asked the wrong questions. But I'm asking the right one now. The only one that matters." In which Aziraphale follows Crowley home after the nonpocalypse.

Notes: Seriously, reading Good Omens fics always makes me so relaxed and sleepy it is unreal. I need to read them more often. Anyway, this is such a cute explanation for the final episode, and I loved it!

You’re the Only Prayer I Need by Kedreeva on AO3. (5,507 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Wingfic, Angel Wings, Angel/Demon Relationship, Wing Grooming, Bathing/Washing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexual Relationship, Snake Crowley, Love Confessions, Trust, Non-Sexual Intimacy.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Crowley had, in the six thousand years Aziraphale had known him, shed his skin exactly twice that Aziraphale knew of. Both times he had disappeared without a trace, having retreated somewhere very safe and very, very unknown to hide while he was so vulnerable, and Aziraphale had never thought to ask beyond that information. Everyone was, he had supposed at the time, entitled to their secrets. The problem was that he had stumbled directly into this secret now, and there was hardly a graceful way out of it.

Notes: The sheer level of trust is adorable, and I’m always here for snake Crowley.

A Little Less Celestial by Kedreeva on AO3. (2,360 words).

Tags: Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual, Sharing a Bed, Ineffable Husbands, Literal Sleeping Together, Wingfic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Aziraphale accidentally falls asleep, and Crowley teaches him sleeping isn't so bad, really.

Notes: Oh my God, this was so calming to read in a way I really can’t describe? Also, now I want a bookshelf bed.

Just One Yesterday by Kedreeva on AO3. (1,952 words).

Tags: True Form Crowley, True Form Aziraphale, Ineffable Husbands, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Post-Apocalypse, Time Travel, Time Loop, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Missing Scene.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Crowley and Aziraphale didn't stop the apocalypse on the first try, but you know what they say... try, try again.

Notes: I could not tell you the plot of this, but that image of Crowley’s true form was beautiful (and the artwork was phenomenal!).

So, there we have it! I hope you enjoy them, and have a nice week. By the way, if you have instagram, please would you consider following @justaceofficial? They are trying to get funding for a TV series which focuses on an asexual main character, and they ran an asexual advent running up to this week!

#spn #doctor who #good omens #sherlock #johnlock #ineffable husbands #ten/rose #destiel #asexual #aromantic #twelve

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