Things that STILL haunt me: “this is a song about how terrible being famous is”

💭 Thoughts on Seven - song and MV

Are you looking for someone to react to this with you? Are you wanting to hear someone else’s thoughts so you can organize your own? Here you go! This is gonna be a long one but I have thoughts to share! I’ve broken them down into categories…

The Song

Lo and behold, the horny anons were (a little bit) right! This song is definitely about sex! Lol.

I’m gonna need a few more listens to really solidify my opinion, but first few listen throughs and… I like it! It’s fast, its a little chaotic, but it’s still so melodic and pleasing to listen to, courtesy of Jung Kook’s impeccable vocals, as usual. It’s a lot more explicit than I was expecting, lmao, but we’ve been saying for a while that he’s a grown ass man. No serious person was out here thinking he doesn’t fuck. Is the song somewhat aspirational for him with the “every minute every hour” thing, considering he spends at least 2 hours at a time in the middle of the night making noodles with ARMY? Perhaps. But hey, most of us alosexuals can only dream of getting lucky seven days a week, so I don’t blame him for manifesting that energy. Also, he didn’t write it. So there’s that.

Concept & Video

My condolences to the horny anons for the lack of steamy, sexy scenes in the video (the scenes that the rest of us knew wouldn’t be there, and let’s be real Jung Kook singing about fucking somebody right is already probably the most his fans can take at any one time lmao. I’m sure there were ladies fainting at his GMA performance like they were front row watching Elvis swivel his hips in 1956).

I liked the video! It was fun, and unexpectedly funny; JK playing the part of a boyfriend so obsessed with his toxic relationship that he keeps chasing his poor woman down even after every breakup (and murder?) attempt, through these surreal settings that just show how chaotic and unstable their relationship is. Han So Hee was gorgeous and did a good job despite her character pretty much having the same reaction/feeling in every scene but the last. Jung Kook, as so many pointed out, did a pretty terrible job looking angry or frustrated at any point 🤣 but that wasn’t really the point — the point is his obsession with his partner and willingness to jump off of a literal gurney and right back into the same situation that put him there in the first place.

Which brings me to my one gripe about the concept of the video which is that…. It doesn’t really match the lyrics? It’s not like that’s unusual in the world of MVs and I don’t think videos always have to be a play by play of the song, but it does feel like an excellent execution of a concept that would have fit better with a song about obsessive love, being unable to stop falling into the same toxic patterns, etc. Instead the song is pretty purely about sex and romance. To be honest, a few scenes of them falling into bed together would probably have made a bit more sense, honestly, if that’s supposed to be the reason he can’t stay away from this woman who seems to want almost nothing to do with him, lol.

Overall the video was visually satisfying and interesting, and this moment actually made me laugh out loud, boy was in his goofy element for a moment:

Latto

I’ll start by saying I was very excited when I realized that she would be featuring. I know some people had complaints, others didn’t know who she was, but I very much do know who she is and love her sound, so I was jazzed. My one concern was that… Latto lovers don’t be mad, but in my opinion she doesn’t have a lot of on-screen charisma.

I think it’s because she’s still relatively new. She’s beautiful, but I’m not sure she knows what to do with it yet other than sensually touch herself and minutely dance. It’s reminiscent of Dua Lipa in the early days when she wasn’t really great at dancing but was thrust up in the spotlight surrounded by backup dancers (who lest we forget have typically been training in dance nearly all their lives). For Latto, if she has no interest in dancing, that’s totally fine. I don’t think she HAS to do it or be good at it, but then in that case, I would expect a bit more expressiveness in her face and actions. And maybe you totally disagree with me — feel free to watch the Big Energy video and decide for yourself. To me though, she doesn’t bring enough energy (lol). Basically the opposite of Jung Kook in the GMA performance (which he fucking owned 😩 the 90s boy band vibes, the way he held his own and actually drew my attention the entire time despite the immense talent of his backup dancers. Holy shit that boy is a star.)

And my initial excitement and concern about Latto pretty much held up. Her rap was good, a fun add to the song, and I think she nailed the energy and the rhythm and the vibe (seriously when will male rappers catch up? Women are the only ones I want featuring on pop songs from now on. They’re the only ones who understand how to stay on topic). That being said her feature in the video was… just okay? The funeral scene was one of the better ones because of the above moment I mentioned, so that saved it, but I wish she’d given a little more than just like…touches to her boobs, you know? But to be fair, that was in keeping with the song’s theme.

Overall it’s a job well done for her. I was bummed she couldn’t join him at GMA but baby rapper JK came out of hiding and did a few of her lines, which was fun. He did quite intentionally change out the pronoun from “him” to “her” which brings me to…

Does this song mean he’s announcing he’s straight?!

I feel like I’m going to get a lot of anons about this… or maybe not since their wild predictions of pornographic make out scenes didn’t happen, after all… but I feel like there will be a lot of people calling this his definitive “coming out” as a pussy-loving straight dude. And to that I say…

Maybe? Here are my thoughts on this in no particular order:

We always say to listen to the guys. I didn’t disregard it when he and Jimin chose not to change the pronouns in their cover of “We Don’t Talk Anymore” and I won’t disregard the fact that he did change them in his performance here. For whatever reason, he wanted this song and this performance to be about a woman.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but him making this single about a woman doesn’t necessarily mean he did it out of an obligatory need to appear straight in order to appease his oppressive government. Maybe he just wanted to make it about a woman. And just in case you forgot…

Liking, being interested in, and/or being sexually attracted to women doesn’t automatically make a man heterosexual. Jimin has been giving off flirty vibes to men AND women his entire career, and he still melts over Jung Kook like a bomb pop on the Fourth of July. You can be a man and like women and also like men and those things can coexist and there’s a word for that. It’s called being bisexual. Hi 👋 there’s lots of us out here, even though we tend to get drowned out and ignored, especially if and when we pursue relationships with the opposite sex. Let’s not do that so much anymore, yeah?

I’ve brought it up before and I’ll continue to; he was in Charlie Puth’s video as a very obvious love interest. Now he has a woman in his video as a love interest. Neither one cancels out the other. Neither one is a definitive confirmation of his sexuality.

Also like… maybe it is that he’s just closeted and doesn’t feel ready to share his sexuality and so he’s going with heteronormativity because it’s easy and less questions will be asked. Idk. It’s not really my business to know.

Regardless, all the holding-hands-with-an-actress-in-a-music video moments in the world can’t cancel out this:

He supported Jimin in all these ways with all this undeniable lovey-dovey energy all this time. I don’t think his feelings for that man have changed one iota, whether it’s a really tight friendship (with… ahem, undertones of longing and desire) or a bona fide relationship. Either way, I think they’re enjoying it. And I hope they have fun exploring New York together.

Oh and I know he didn’t write it but… you gotta appreciate the continuity of “give me a good ride” and “it’s the way that you can ride” 🤭🤭🤭🤭

OKAY I think that’s all my thoughts for now. What are YOUR thoughts??? Please share them. Please share them respectfully, whether you comment or message or send an ask. I’m all ears 😁

All Bets Are Off ~ YJG & LMH [Request]

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WORD COUNT:3.3.k

PAIRING: Jeongin x Fem!Reader x Minho

GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, swearing

A/N: I hope you like this, I sort of went for a different way of writing it so I hope you like it and understand it 

"Did you hear about Jeongin?" You looked up from the makeup palette you were using to see some of the other stylists all crowding around one another as they spoke in hushed tones, the mention of his name sent shivers down your spine. It was as if someone had just taken a cup of freezing cold water and poured it down your back bringing you into a harsh reality that was the real world,

"I wouldn't worry too much," Sana spoke softly as she noticed the worried look spreading across your face, after working with you for almost all of her career she was able to read you like a book, she knew every look you gave meant something and this was a worried one. The simple mention of Jeongin's name made you want to burst into tears at any given moment but you couldn't, you couldn't let on that what they were gossiping about was about you and Jeongin not only was it embarrassing but it would also lead you to get fired on the spot. 

"There's always some kind of gossip, but it's nothing." She reminded you as she placed her hand on top of yours, running her smooth pale skin to try and calm you down but nothing was working. Your skin was starting to feel clammy as you heard the gossip getting louder and louder, normally the gossiping would go over your head but this time you knew it was going to be about you and Jeongin. The more they spoke the harder your heart began to beat against your chest, so hard it felt as though it was going to spring out of your chest as you slowly placed down the brush you had been using on Sana's face, 

"I heard it was a stylist," One of them giggled before looking around the room, none of them had any idea what was truly going on. They only knew what they had heard and even that wasn't the full truth, the only people who knew the truth were you, Jeongin, Sana, Nayeon and Minho and the boys Jeongin had created this whole thing with, you didn’t want the entire JYP Entertainment company knowing the in’s and out’s of your personal life, 

"Do you want to go and get some air?" Nayeon questioned as she noticed how faint you began to look, there were beads of sweat beginning to collect on your forehead and all you could do was nod your head in answer to her. Both her and Sana got up before taking you out of the room and headed towards the quiet room so you could take a minute to yourself. 

Breathing heavily you tried not to look out of the glass walls of the quiet room instead you were trying to focus on Nayeon and Sana as they tried to calm you down,

"You need to forget about them, they don't know it's you." Nayeon reminded you as she cupped your face in her hands, running her small fingers under your eyes to remove the tears that you hadn't even noticed had begun running down your cheeks. 

"It's not even that big of a deal, it'll blow over soon," Sana reminded you but you weren't listening to them now, your eyes were locked onto Jeongin as he came down the hall out of one of the studios. The boys were standing with him laughing about something, all you could think about was them laughing at you even if it wasn't what they were doing. They were lost in conversation with one another but as soon as Jeongin saw you staring at him he froze in place, this was the first time he'd seen you around the building in months. He figured you'd quit but seeing you there brought back all of the emotions he had for you, another pair of eyes made their way to yours as he saw you sitting with the girls. Minho. As soon as you saw him it was like a wave of relief washed over your body and the panic you had been feeling about Jeongin suddenly disappeared from your mind as Minho gave you a small reassuring smile. Jeongin frowned as he saw you staring behind him, he glanced over his shoulder to his Hyung as he scoffed, storming off in the direction he was going originally. The girls had been hiding you whenever Jeongin came around asking to speak to you, there was no way you were ever going to be able to face him or even speak to him after what he did to you what he put you through for the last year of your life. All of the times you spent together came crashing back into you like a wave hitting the sand, even if Minho was by your side nothing could stop you from feeling the hurt you experienced with Jeongin and every time you looked at the young Maknae it hit you over and over again.

Things between you and Jeongin had been going great, you were dating in secrecy since it was in your contract that you weren't allowed to date any of the idols that worked for JYP Entertainment and you had signed and agreed to that. Dating wasn't a problem since you seemed to get along with all of the idols really well, Stray Kids treated you like a sister as did the members of Itzy and Twice since you worked with them the most. 

"Hey, are we still meeting at the dorms?" Jeongin whispered in your ear as he ran his hands up and down your side, you let out a shaky breath as you nodded at his question, Jeongin was the only one that didn't treat you like a sister since you guys were together.

"It'll be just the two of us, Channie-Hyung is working late and the boys have agreed to let me have the place to myself," He placed a quick kiss on your shoulder before moving away from you, going to sit down on the sofa that was inside the styling room you were working in. You were currently practising some of the hairstyles for Twice on a mannequin head so you could make sure you had it perfect when it came to doing live shows. 

"You're doing great, you've been getting better ever since you got here." That was Jeongin for you, always trying to make sure you felt confident in everything that you were doing in the company. You were an apprentice stylist getting paid below the minimum to train there while working alongside some of the greatest idols and stylists in the business,

"You have to say that, you're my boyfriend." You rolled your eyes at him as you continued to pin some of the curls onto the head of the doll and then spraying it with some glitter hairspray before stepping back to look at it from behind. 

"I would tell you if it looked bad, you know I would." He pressed his lips against your ear as you let out another shaky breath, he knew what all of his small touches and kisses did to you but he never acted on any of them. It was all part of the game for him, he was just going along with the game he and some of the boys had arranged with one another and so far you were falling into the trap. The two of you had been together for almost a year now which meant it was time for all of this to come undone soon but as the date drew nearer Jeongin couldn't help but want to postpone the day and tell the boys that the bet was off. That he couldn't break up with you because he was starting to fall in love with you for real but he knew they would laugh at him, and joke about it. The bet was to see who could date you the fastest and break up with you within a year, Jeongin won the dating side and decided he was going to make it a painful breakup until he got to know you. The more he got to know you over the past year the more he began to realise how much of an awful person he was for making this game with you, you had human emotions you weren't just some toy for him and the boys to play with whenever they got bored but it was too late now, he was too far into the "relationship" to tell you what it really was and he didn't want the boys to laugh at him and call him whipped over someone he barely knew but he knew you. He felt he knew you well enough to fall in love with you and what did it matter if it was all some kind of joke, to begin with? It wasn't as if you had to know the details, he could just tell the boys it was off and that would be it, you'd never have to know about it or the money that was included in the bet.

"Everything okay Innie?" You questioned as you glanced over at him, his face was pale as he stared down at your feet clearly he was thinking hard about something since he hadn't heard what you asked him. Waving your hand in front of his face you waited for him to snap out of the daydream but when he did he jumped up from the seat, 

"I need to go and talk the boys," He stuttered out nervously as he looked at you, smiling at you as he leant forward to give you a quick kiss in the empty styling room only for you to playfully hit him with a brush, 

"Go before you get us caught," You hissed at him, giggling as you watched him running away from you and down the hall, the giggle you let out filled him with hope as he raced to find the boys hoping they hadn't left already. 

As you were leaving the building you walked by one of the studios when you heard Jeongin's voice sounding strained as he spoke back and forth with someone, you knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but when you heard your name you wanted to see what it was all about.

"Look, it wasn't our idea to make her fall in love with you, all you had to do was date her," Felix said as he looked at a worried-looking Jeongin, he'd come to the boys for advice, telling them that the bet was off but they claimed there wasn't just a way out of it since they'd all put money down into it. 

"You can't tell me you're starting to have real feelings for her," You heard Seungmin laugh loudly as he spoke to Jeongin, Jeongin added an awkward laugh as he began to scratch the back of his neck playing it off as though he was playing a trick on the boys.

"No! Of course, not. I was joking, I'm going to do it tonight." He laughed looking between Felix and Seungmin as he tried not to seem as bothered about this as he was. The bet was between the three of them, they didn't want the older boys getting involved since they got along with you the boys, Chan looked out for you like you were his twin sister and Seungmin knew damn well how Minho felt about you. Minho had been in love with you since you started working for JYP, he'd never been able to keep his eyes off you but the two of you were nothing more than friends.

"Besides, she's just a stylist you need someone better than that." As soon as Felix said that you felt your heart clench as you thought about what they were talking about and that was when you heard it, 

"₩700,000, is a lot of money Jeongin and it's all yours. All you have to do is break up with her before the end of the week," The way Seungmin spoke so apathetically made you shiver, normally they were the sweetest guys in the group but hearing this only made you want to throw up. 

"You decided to get in on this, we didn't force you to ask Y/n out, you did it and now you have to dump her before the time is up," Felix said smugly as he turned to leave the room, you gasped as you darted out in the other direction sliding yourself into a different studio as tears rolled down your cheeks. 

"Y/n?!" Minho asked in a panicked tone as soon as he saw you crying, he dropped what he was doing and walked over to you placing his hand on your arm but you flinched away from him.

"Y-You can give it up! I know you're all in on it right?!" You choked out a sob as you wiped your face, moving away from the door and from Minho as you shook your head. 

"You think just because I'm not some famous Idol that I don't have feelings?!" Minho stepped away as you yelled out at him, he'd never heard you raise your voice to anyone before and now you were crying and screaming about feelings.

"What are you talking about?" He tried to steady you but you weren't having any of it, 

"You can quit pretending, I know Jeongin only asked me out because you all bet he could dump me within a year. I get it. I'm the joke," But the look on Minho's face read that he had no idea what you were talking about but that he was angry about it, his face was getting redder by the second. 

"They did what?" You stopped sniffling as you turned to look up at him wondering why he hadn't known about the bet but he heard laughter coming from down the hall and he stormed out of the studio you were standing in. 

"Jeongin!" His voice boomed and it almost sounded as deep as Felix's did as the Maknae froze in place, turning to look at you and Minho. Your eyes were bloodshot as you continued to silently cry into a tissue, 

"Everything okay, babe?" Minho put his hand on Jeongin's chest to stop him from coming any closer to you, he didn't want Jeongin to be near you in this state. 

"Don't call her babe, don't pretend that this is real when she's just heard you betting money on who could date her and dump her!" Jeongin flinched, he'd seen Minho angry before but never this level of anger and he didn't like this side of his Hyung. 

"Are you stupid? Incredibly sensitive or just a complete and utter idiot?!" Felix and Seungmin came out of the room they had been standing in to see what was going on outside when they saw Jeongin, his body was slumped down as he stared at the floor not looking at either you or Minho as he yelled at him. 

"Answer the question!" Minho demanded, his anger boiling up even more at the thought of someone hurting you emotionally or physically. 

"I- I wasn't thinking when I agreed to it," Jeongin mumbled as he still couldn't look up,

"Please! Minho is only angry because he's in love with Y/n." Seungmin spat out making you tense up as Minho turned to him next, 

"You know what, yeah I am but that doesn't mean that you get to toy around with someone's emotions! Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?!" Sana and Nayeon came out of their dressing rooms when they heard the yelling, they took one look at you before dragging you into a friendly embrace while Minho continued to get into a heated argument with Jeongin about what he had done. 

"We were bored," Seungmin mumbled, rolling his head back against the wall as if he didn't care what he had done, 

"You were bored?" Minho scoffed, running his tongue along his teeth as he shook his head, 

"I'm bored sometimes but you don't see me going around and betting money on people's feelings...You make me sick, give me one good reason I shouldn't tell Chan what you've done!?" Jeongin's eyes locked with yours and then to Minho as panic ran through his body,

"Because I'm in love with her, for real...I love her and I...I wanted to call this whole thing off but the boys weren't going to let me," He explained but you didn't look up from Nayeon's arms, you felt nothing when he said he loved you. 

"You should have thought about that before you got into this mess," Minho snapped, watching as Felix and Seungmin walked over to you, apologising before leaving without another word to one another.

"Y/n I'm sorry...I just-" You slapped Jeongin across the cheek as he tried to speak to you, you knew that violence was never the answer but right now it was what he deserved for ripping your heart out and stamping it into the ground. 

"Do you think you can forgive me?" You stared into his eyes as you watched tears roll down his face, you searched them for any sign of sincerity that he meant that he was sorry and you knew he was but it didn't mean you could accept this. 

"No. I can't...Maybe if you had told me about it instead of laughing behind my back things would have been different but now?" You looked him up and down before sniffling, 

"Now I can't even look at you," You whispered turning into a sob as you walked away with Sana and Nayeon to find a girls bathroom where you could clean yourself up for the night.

"Hey," Minho whispered as he replaced Nayeon and Sana in the quiet room, the two of them going off to change before heading home. 

"Hi," You whispered back to him, leaning your head on his shoulder as you tried to come down from the small panicky feeling you had experienced. Minho placed his hand over yours, locking your fingers together as you both sat down on the stools in the room. 

"It'll get easier to look at him, I promise." He whispered to you as he traced small patterns into your hand with his fingertips, just having him this close to you made you feel so much better. The two of you had been dating for a month, deciding to try it out together and it was working. 

"I don't know how you do it," You laughed sarcastically as you looked up at Minho through your lashes, he and Jeongin had gone back to acting as though nothing had happened, in fact, the whole of the Maknae line were pretending it never happened and the money was never spoken about again. That was of course after Jeongin tried to give it to you as an apology but you told him you wanted nothing to do with that part of your life anymore.

"I can tell how sorry he is, it doesn't mean I forgive him for hurting you it just means I'm capable of letting it pass but if he hurts you again I'll break his knees," You laughed at him and shook your head at him, 

"No, you won't. He's your friend, you should go though." You nudged him as you noticed the boys manager staring at you through the glass walls of the quiet room, 

"I'll make it up to you, your place tonight?" He questioned as if there was any other place you would go together. The two of you would always hang out at your apartment since you didn't have the bravery to head to the dorms just yet. 

"Yeah, bring food." You ordered as he walked out of the door, sending you a playful wink as he walked away from you.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @minholuvs​

Nothing

Part i of the Without You series: When Colson and Megan break up, the boys count on Y/N to piece Colson back together, which only leads to disaster.

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Colson being kind of a dick, cursing, a little bit of aggression/ violence. This one’s definitely angsty.

A/N: This was supposed to be just a one part fic. Then that turned into 2 parts. And then 3. And then all of a sudden I had written 5 parts and over 10,000 words. Enjoy 😊 (also this is v unedited so if you see a mistake... mind ya business)

Word Count: 2084

| ii | iii | iv | v | vi |

masterlist

When you got the text from Rook, you knew it was probably gonna be bad. 

Megan just left him, for good. Not gonna be pretty the next few days so maybe don’t come by anytime soon. 

Your heart broke for your best friend. Colson had been really in love with Megan. And as much as you hated seeing them together for your own personal reasons, you could tell he was really happy. 

Ok. Let me know if you guys need me. If it gets bad I can take Casie for a few days. Take care of him for me pls. 

You and Colson had been friends for years now. You knew almost everything about each other, you told him everything. He let you crash at his place after your ex kicked you out, and you had spent many hours curled up with him, watching stupid movies to distract him from his most recent breakup or mental breakdown. 

But this was different. Colson told you he wanted to marry her at some point, and you knew he wasn’t lying. And you couldn’t blame him. As much as you hated no longer being the only women (other than Casie) in his life, you couldn’t dislike Megan. She was just one of those people who everyone loved. 

The thought of texting Colson crossed your mind, but you weren’t sure if it would hurt or help. From the sound of it, he was a wreck.

So, naturally, you texted Pete. 

Have you talked to Cols yet?

With Colson came Pete, or came you, you weren’t really sure. Somewhere along the way you and Pete had become close friends. He was like the older brother you’d never asked for, and he would probably say something similar about you. 

You couldn’t really explain it, Pete could read you like a book. And because of that, he knew everything. He was the only one to catch on to the way you sometimes looked at Colson for too long, or got irritated when he’d bring a new girl around. 

I’m heading over there right now. You should talk to him.

You rolled your eyes.

Not sure that’s the best idea. You guys are better at handling... all that. Once he gets a little less angry then I’ll take him. 

Pete texted you back a few minutes later.

Thanks for the support, kid. I’ll keep you updated. Just pulled in.

Good luck, Petey.

You tossed your phone on your bed, a sigh leaving your lips. You decided worrying was a problem for another day.

No more than 12 hours later you were getting a phone call from Rook. 

“Dude it’s like 4 in the morning, why are you calling me.” 

“Y/N, we’ve tried everything. He’s locked up in his room and every time one of us tries to talk to him he blows up. Literally he almost punched Slim a few hours ago.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, groaning at the predicament. “So now you want me to come over?” You asked, “What do you think I’m gonna be able to do?”

“Well he’s not gonna try and hit you for one. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but he’s significantly nicer to you than to anyone else.”

“What do I even say to him? “Sorry that the love of your life broke up with you but at least we can smoke pot and watch Spongebob?” I mean come on, man. I’m not good at this.”

“Please.” He pleaded, “We’re all out of options and I can’t stand to see him get any worse than he is.”

You moved off your bed and towards your dresser. “Fine, I’ll be there in 15.” 

You threw on the first pair of sweatpants you could find and slipped on shoes, grabbing your key and heading out the door.

True to your word, you pulled up to the house 15 minutes later, parking on the side of the street and heading straight into the house. When the guys saw you, they visibly brightened up. 

“You guys are such fucking wimps.” You rolled your eyes as you made your way towards the stairs. 

Baze chuckled, “We love you Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes and continued on your way, stopping by Casie’s room to see if she was asleep. To your surprise, she wasn’t. 

“Hey sweet girl,” you whispered as you entered her room, “why are you still up?”

She smiled a little when she saw you. “Couldn’t sleep. I’m really worried about Dad.” 

You leaned on her doorframe, sending her a sad smile. “I am too. But he’ll be okay. Your dad’s pretty tough.”

“I know,” she sighed, “but he really liked Megan.”

“Did you?” You ask, trying to gauge her emotions. 

“I mean, I guess so. She was nice to me. Most of his girlfriends aren’t that nice to me.” 

“That’s a pretty shitty way to measure if you like someone or not.” She giggles at that. “Don’t tell your dad I said that word in front of you.”

“Ok. She was nice. And she made him happy so, yeah, I guess I liked her. Not as much as I like you but...” Casie’s voice got higher as she dragged out the last word and you just rolled your eyes with a chuckle. 

Casie had this fantasy of you and Colson getting married one day, but you always told her it would never happen. 

“Ok kiddo, whatever you say.” You teased her, “try and get some sleep, okay?” 

She nodded with a smile. “Are you gonna go talk to Dad?”

“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later, okay? If you need to come over and talk or stay the night or anything just call me, okay?”

“Okay. Love you.” She said quietly. 

“Love you too, Case.”

You shut the door to her room, moving down the hallway to Colson’s door. You took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare for what was about to happen, and knocked. 

“I told you guys to go the fuck away.” A muffled yet angry voice said from the opposite side of the door.

“It’s me, Cols. Y/N.” You said, hoping he could hear you. 

When you got no response you asked, “Can I come in?” 

A few more seconds of silence followed, and then the lock clicked and the door opened. You stood face-to-face with your best friend. His hair was a mess, falling in his face. The bags under his eyes were darker than ever, and the frown he wore made him look even more pathetic. You felt your heart breaking. 

As you met his eyes, you gave him a sad smile. “Hey Cols.” 

Instead of responding, he wrapped his arms around you, leaning down and resting his head on your shoulder. You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair. 

He started walking backwards, pulling you with him as he continued to hug you. One of his hands pushed the door shut and he sat on his bed, finally letting go of you. 

You looked down at him, grabbing his hand and holding it in your own. It was something you had done before, you two were very touchy people and so half of your friendship was just you two cuddling or play fighting or holding hands.

“So we can do one of three things,” you started, “We can talk about it, we can cuddle and watch something stupid and pretend nothing’s wrong, or we can get high and do something stupid.”

For the first time in what you would imagine to be all night, Colson smiled. it was a very small smile, but you took it. 

He looked up at you through his eyelashes. “And by stupid you mean...”

You rolled your eyes, “I mean we can go set off bottle rockets in the backyard or try to jump off your roof and into the pool.” 

“Oh damn. I was hoping you were gonna say you would suck my dick.” 

Your eyes widened at his bluntness and the implication. You shoved his shoulder, “Colson! That’s gross!” You giggled, but his expression was unwaveringly serious. 

“I’m being serious.” He deadpanned and you furrowed your eyebrows. 

“Colson what the fuck?” Your mind was spinning trying to figure out if he was joking. 

You got your answer when he stood up, grabbing your waist and leaning over you. “I thought you’d want to...” 

You took in a breath at the sudden proximity, trying to back away from him but his grip remaining firmly on your waist. “Colson, stop. Please. This isn’t funny.” 

You could smell the alcohol on his breath and you had to keep reminding yourself of that fact. He’s drunk, and sad, and doesn’t know what he’s saying. 

“I thought you’d want to, cause it’ll make me happy. And you’ll do anything to make me happy.” One of his hands reached up and grabbed your jaw, making sure you couldn’t look away.

“Colson you’re being a fucking weirdo, let me go.” You raised your voice. Your heart was racing at this point and the thoughts flowing around your head were not pretty. 

You were always anxious for the day he’d figure you out. When he’d finally realize how you felt for him. But this was worse than anything you’d thought of. 

“You’ll do anything to make me happy because you love me, right?” 

You felt tears stinging in your eyes, wanting nothing more but to look away from his sinister expression. The way he was looking at you made it very clear that he was enjoying your discomfort, your embarrassment. 

“Colso-” 

He walked forwards, pushing you gently against the wall. His arms went to either side of you, his face inches from yours. You tried to look away, but his hand on your jaw forced you to face him.

Any other time you would have loved for Colson to pin you against his wall, but this was wrong. 

“Just say it. Say you’re in love with me, and I’ll drop it.” 

“Colson, what the fuck are you on right now?” You tried to steer the topic away from you, but he wouldn’t have it. 

“Say it.” 

You reached up to try and push his chest away from you, but he was much taller and stronger than you, so you did nothing. 

“Just tell me!” He yelled at your silence. A tear slipped down your cheek as you trembled under him. His face was red and his eyes were watering. 

 “Why are you doing this?” You whispered. This all felt like a bad dream, like a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. 

“Because I need to know if she was right.” His voice got a little quieter, but he still wouldn’t move away from you. “I need to know if the reason the love of my fucking life just left me is true.”

You were shaking, your breaths getting shorter. “What are you talking about.” Your words were choked. The grip on your jaw started to get a little too tight.

“I defended you!” He yelled, tears falling from his face. “She told me that you were in love with me and I defended you.”

“Colson you’re hurting me.” You whined, trying to wriggle your way out of his grasp. He ignored your statement and continued talking, but his grip loosened slightly.

“And then she told me that she thinks I’m in love with you.” His voice was getting darker. “And that’s why she left. So I want to make it very clear to you.” He paused, leaning closer to your ear. “I will never love you. Ever. Not now, not in a million lifetimes. You mean nothing to me.”

Your vision was blurry from your tears, so you blindly reached out to push him away from you. His body seemed to have given up, as he moved backwards out of your way, stumbling slightly. Through your tears you could make out a smug smile on the man before you ran out of the room, slamming the door behind you.

You ran down the stairs, the guys waiting for you to give them good news, but their hope turned to concern once they saw you. You walked straight past them towards the door, not trusting yourself to say anything without breaking completely.

As you reached for the door handle you heard a faint yell from upstairs, followed by loud banging, and then silence. You sniffled, turning the handle and leaving the house, much to the protest of your friends.

everytime // Sirius Black

Sweetener x Marauders

play ‘everytime’ by Ariana Grande <3

pairing: sirius black x reader

word count: 2.3k ✨

warnings: angst, fluff at the end, mentions of drinking, under-age drinking, partying, depression?, mentions of drugs and drug use, someone trying to take advantage on the drunk reader, crying? Let me know if I missed something.

This also might have a few time jumps

A/N: I wrote this in 1st person but I feel like I should make these in 3rd so that’s what I’ll start doing. But this is also my first time making a one-shot fic so cut me some slack if it’s trash. But I hope you enjoy!

I get tired of your no-shows

Taking in the warmth through my fingers I look at the door once more before glancing at the clock.

He’s late. Again

I take a deep breath to cool down my nerves and sigh. I sip the rest of my butterbeer before looking at the entrance once more and packing my stuff and walking out. I look around once more before giving up and walking back to the castle.

You get tired of my control

As I’m walking back I start to get more irritated by the step. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. Always too busy to hang out because of him with his friends or too busy because of pranks. The missed dates and the interrupted times. All for his friends. I’m clearly not a priority in his life and that has to change or I’m not going to be in it.

Walking through the castle I collect my thoughts on how I’m gonna approach this situation. But since I’m so pissed off, I’m gonna take an angry approach.

I walk up to the gryffindor common room and say the password before walking in.

As I stepped into the common room, lo and behold, the marauders spread on the couches talking loudly and laughing. Seeing that made my blood boil. As I walk over I catch the attention of the brunet,

“Y/N!!!!! Hey!!!” The Potter boy called out. I gave a weak smile. Which caught the attention of my boyfriend.

“Hey, babe.” He smiled at me. I internally roll my eyes and keep an emotionless face on. At this point all the attention from the boys is on me.

“Hey. Can we talk?” In the corner of my eye I can see Remus and James glance at each other and look worriedly at Sirius. Yeah. They know better.

“Uhh. Sure. About what?” This time I rolled my eyes. I ignore his question and grab his hand before dragging him up to his dorm.

We enter and I close the door before leaning on it. He goes and sits on the foot on his bed.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.” Bouncing his knee, I can tell he’s getting impatient and just wants this to hurry up and be done with this. I get even more annoyed at this.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.”- I mocked him- “This is exactly what I’m talking about! You’re always busy! Doing this and doing that!” I start to raise my voice. My face starts to heat up due to my anger. I try to calm down but it doesn’t seem to be working.

He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off,

“Where were you today?! I was waiting for you! For our date that YOU literally planned!” His eyes widened with realization and looked at me with a guilty face. But I’m too pissed off to care.

My eyes start to water with tears of frustration but I’m nowhere near done,

“Everytime I want to hang out you’re always busy with your friends and pranks! You never have time for me anymore!” At this point tears are streaming down my face and Sirius doesn’t look that far behind.

“This is the third date you missed! Because you forgot! I’m done with being second best. Im probably not even that!” He has his head down, hands on his knees.

“I—I-I” he stutters out what I think is going to be some wack apology. But I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.

“No. I’m done.” As soon as I said those words his head shot up fast and looked at me with wide eyes.

“No-” he goes to protest but I cut him off again.

“No I can’t do this. Not anymore. This has gone on for too long. You need to fix your priorities. I hope you don’t treat another girl like this. I’m breaking up with you, Sirius.” I don’t wait for a reply and I simply walk out of the door and walk back down to the common room, wiping my tears.

They keep telling me to let go

As I make it to the common room I notice the boys are still there. They see me and go to talk but a loud sound cuts them off. Items getting thrown around, is what I guessed it to be.

We all freeze and guilt washes over me. It’s Sirius.

But I don’t really let go when I say so

I turn my head to the staircase with a sad expression before brushing it off.

I had to. I deserve better. I thought to myself.

I look over to the boys to see that they have worried but knowing expressions on their faces. I gave them weak smiles and walked away to my dorm.

I keep giving people blank stares

Drama travels fast around here at Hogwarts. So it wasn’t long until word got out that infamous Sirius Black was single again and back on the market.

My friends are starting to get worried about me because of my reaction to the breakup, or lack thereof. I know how to keep my emotions buried. I know it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism but I refuse to be sad over a boy who treated me like shit.

I’m so different when your not there

What they don’t know is that I cry myself to sleep. Everyday. I close my curtains around my bed and put a silencing spell around it and sob. For hours. It’s pretty sad.

But I keep my neutral face on for everyone else. From what I know Sirius isn’t doing much better. He’s just more open about his broken heart. Lily tells me he mopes around and doesn’t speak much anymore. Let alone prank anyone.

Everytime she tells me about him being sad it makes me want to run out the room and find him to cuddle with him and kiss him and apologize profusely for the break up.

But I remind myself that it’s not my fault and that I deserve better.

It’s like something out of Shakespeare

Because I’m really not here when you’re not there

I tried to fight our energy

It's been three months since the break up and I have developed some pretty bad habits.

I’ve secretly been drinking to numb the pain. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t seem to stop.

Once all my roommates are sleeping I drink by myself on my bed. It helped in the beginning but now I can’t stop.

I’ve perfected my fake smile so no one could tell the difference. Well one person did, but I was unaware.

I’m in a deep depression and I have no one to talk to. None of my friends know, I can’t tell them. They won’t understand.

Meanwhile,

“Pads, you can’t keep moping around. She’s moved on, you should too.”

“No, I can’t. I still love her.” Sirius said but due to him being face first on his pillow it came out muffled.

“Well then you’re going to have to work your way to get her back. Show her you’ve changed.” The werewolf suggested to his friend.

“Really?” He picks his head up to face his friends, red and puffy eyes with a hopeful expression.

They nod.

But everytime I think I’m free

As the weeks pass I start to receive notes and letters with little flowers attached to them. I know they are from Sirius but I can’t seem to open them and read. It’s too hard and I’m not ready yet.

You get high and call on the regular

Once I reach my empty dorm I run to my trunk and collect all the saved letters. I place them on my bed and chuck my shoes off before climbing on my bed while getting comfortable.

I sort the letter from how I received them. I slowly open the first one,

Dear y/n,

Looking at us now I regret a lot of things.

I don’t blame you for not seeing us together in the future.

I was horrible, but for you I am willing to change. No. I will change.

You deserve so much better and if you let me I could be that person.

But I have to fix myself in order for that to happen.

If you're willing I would love to have another chance.

forever yours,

Sirius

As I finish reading my eyes are cloudy with tears. I continue to read all of the letters.

And by the end of it I’m sobbing.

I get weak and fall like a teenager

I knew it was a bad idea to read those letters. Because after that I am ready to run back into his arms and express my love. But I can’t until I know that he’s changed.

I deserve better. I keep telling myself that.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

Everytime I see him now I try to avoid him. Everytime he’s in a room, I leave. Everytime class is over I run out before he gets the chance to talk to me.

Because I know if I take one look into his beautiful stormy gray eyes I will fall all over again. And that can’t happen.

I deserve better.

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

It’s Friday night and today is the big Gryffindor party. Being stressed with liquor and drugs is not a good combo but I haven’t been safe these past couple of months.

I’m in my dorm room getting ready. I decide on a natural glam look with a bold red lip and a black satin body con dress with some black heels.

As I’m walking down the stairs, I can hear the music blasting and the red led lights are turned on. I part from my friends and immediately head to the liquor table. As I’m walking I fail to notice the pair of eyes following my every move.

I take a plastic red cup and I fill it up with the hardest liquor I could find on the table. After downing the cup I refill it and make my way over to my friends who are currently in the corner smoking what the muggles call ‘weed’. It’s strong but it helps me relax. Who knew muggle were so helpful.

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

About an hour into the party everyone was either high, drunk or both. Which I was. Again me with my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I ended up dancing in the middle of the room with a huge group of people. I feel eyes on me but I’m too drunk to care at the moment.

As I’m dancing I feel someone come up behind me and grab my hips. I turn around to see a random 7th year boy. He begins to trail his hands on my body.

He leans down to whisper in my ear,

“How about we go to my down, sweetheart?” His hot breath makes a shiver run down my spine, and not in a good way.

I began to shake my head while saying no but he clearly didn’t get the message because he gripped my wrists and tried to pull me with him. But because I was too drunk I couldn’t defend myself properly.

As I continue to struggle I see a person step in front of me, glaring at the boy,

“I suggest you let her go. Now.” I heard a familiar voice, I couldn’t tell who from my drunken state. Once the person turned around a smile involuntarily appeared on my face,

“Siri! Hi!” I giggled as he guided me away from everyone.

“Hi. Let’s get you somewhere safe.” He picks me up bridal style and starts to carry me up to the boys dorms and to his room.

I yawned and cuddled up into his chest,

“I’m still mad at you.” I mumbled. He set me down on his bed and goes to his trunk to take out some clothes,

“I know.” He said, sadly. As he’s helping me I go on a mini rant,

“You know you treated me horrible. I just wanted my boyfriend but you never made time for me. You missed dates, you cancelled on me a lot. And whenever we had time together alone you had to leave early. I just wanted you to give me your love and attention. But I was never a priority. I miss you so much, Siri.” After he tucks me into his bed he kisses my forehead and responds,

“I miss you too, baby.” He goes to walk away but I grab his hand. Which makes him turn around and give me a questioning look,

“Please stay.” I pout. He smiles and climbs into the bed with me. I turn to look at him,

“Cuddles?” I ask him with puppy eyes.

“Cuddles.” I snuggle up next to him with my head on his chest and my legs bunched up with his. He puts his chin on top of my head and begins to play with my hair.

“You know, I still love you. And I’m willing to give you a second chance, Siri.” I can’t see him but I can tell he has a huge grin on his face.

“I love you too, pup. Go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” I start to drift off but before I do fully I feel him kiss my forehead again and whisper ‘I love you’ one last time before the darkness engulfed me.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

****

Taglist: @blackpinkdolan

If you want to be added to my taglist for this series message me or comment under the post.

transferred part four - atla smau

TRANSFERRED - zuko x fem!reader

masterlist | part 3 | part 5

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well.

warning: cursing

a/n: IM SORRY I KEEP SWITCHING POVS the one at the end is katara lmao

taglist:  @ourbestfriend-mishacollins , @lil-lex1 , @xxshad0wxb1rdxx , @zuko-is-the-sun​ 

You slipped your phone into the back pocket of your jeans and got out of your car, taking a few moments to stretch out your arms and legs after the long drive. It was a little weird to think that this was going to be your new home and university, especially after so long in Kyoshi, but you were honestly looking forward to the change. After the disastrous breakup you endured, it was time for a new chapter. 

Your eyes instinctively snapped over to where you heard a noise, and a huge grin broke out on your face. Two people were coming out of the complex, and they were none other than your two roommates. 

“Sokka, Aang!” You yelled as you ran towards them. You barreled into Sokka and wrapped him in the tightest hug you could muster, looping Aang into it as well for a few moments before you pulled away, smiling so wide your face hurt. 

“Aang, it’s so good to see you, and Sokka — Sokka, you’ve gotten so tall!” You mussed up his hair with your hand which he swatted away. 

“It’s good to see you too, Y/N, but it hasn’t even been that long! And I don’t know how many times I have to remind you that you’re only a year and a half older than me!” 

“Sokka, I haven’t seen you since I moved to Kyoshi for college. It’s been far too long.” You gestured with your head for them to follow you as you started walking over to your car. “And Aang, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you too! You better be treating Katara well.” 

The shorter boy smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head, faint red tinting his cheeks. “I like to think I am, we’re really happy together. She’s the best person that I know and the most beautiful girl ever and she always h-” 

“Okay, that’s enough! Seriously Y/N, you don’t have to whip out the interrogations right away.” Despite his complaints, Sokka gave you a genuine smile and you could tell he was just as happy to see you. 

“Whatever. I’m gonna need all the details on everything that’s been going on the past three years. The occasional facetime call has not been enough.” You went to the back of your car and opened your trunk where most of the boxes were, turning your head when you heard another car pulling up. 

“That’s Katara’s car!” Aang exclaimed. “That must be her and the other girls!” 

The car pulled in two spots away from you and as soon as it stopped, an auburn-haired girl jumped out of the driver's seat and streaked over towards you, wrapping you in an even tighter hug than you gave Sokka. 

“Suki!” She was practically suffocating you but you were so glad to see her that you didn’t even care. “I’m so glad you’re here!” 

“Like I would miss my best friend’s moving day?” The two of you pulled away and went through your increasingly elaborate handshake, ending in a hip bump that caused you both to dissolve into giggles. “You look amazing, Y/N. It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve been together.” 

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that anymore, because I’m here to stay! At least for the next four years.” You laughed and looked over to where your sister was helping Toph out of the car and gave her a wave. 

“As much fun as I’m having with all these greetings, we gotta start moving these fuckin’ boxes! At this rate, I’m gonna be sleeping outside.” You hugged Katara as well when she walked over, then you picked the first box up and motioned with your head for everyone else to get one as you started walking backwards towards the apartment. “Toph is the only one who’s exempt from this, everyone else gets a box and s-” 

You stopped in the middle of your sentence when someone bumped into you from behind, causing you to nearly drop your box. You were just as surprised when you felt hands on your waist, keeping you steady and helping you regain your balance. You turned your head and could immediately feel your cheeks heating up as you hastily moved away, laughing nervously and occupying yourself with the box in your hands. 

“Hey! Zuko! Nice to meet you! It is Zuko, right?” His golden eyes seemed to burn into you, but they were offset by his kind smile and the casual nod he gave you. 

“Yeah, that’s me. Sorry I’m so late, I was showering. I didn’t think you were gonna be here so soon.” He waved at Katara and Suki and they smiled back at him. 

He was even more attractive in person. His jet black hair, still a little wet from his shower, hanging just above his eyes was really doing it for you, and god, his eyes. They were intense, but more like a comforting campfire than a raging wildfire. You didn’t even realize you were staring until Sokka elbowed you. 

Your eyes widened slightly and you quickly averted them, adjusting your hold on the box and letting out another nervous laugh. “Now that we’re all here, how about these boxes, huh? I don’t have that much stuff because I’m broke, which is good for all of you.” 

You had gotten out of your flustered state by the time that everyone had a box in hand, save for Toph, and conversation flowed much easier while you and the rest of the group walked into the complex. 

“How was your drive, Y/N?” Zuko asked, holding the door open with his back as you all filed inside.

You shook your head and scoffed as you hit the button to call the elevator. “As boring as you can imagine. Traffic wasn’t horrible, but I swear I hit every single light on the way here. My music was the only thing that kept me sane.” 

“One pro of being blind is that I always have company in cars, but it also kinda sucks when the only source of conversation you have is Sokka or Katara,” Toph said with a teasing grin. 

“What?” Both of the aforementioned yelled at the same time, causing everyone except them to dissolve into laughter. 

“This is what I missed. I don’t even have to make up for three years of missed teasing because Toph’s had it taken care of.” You patted her on the shoulder as the elevator door opened and everyone filed in. “What floor are we on?” 

“Three. There’s a lot of foot traffic and we have some very annoying neighbors, but it’s one of the cheaper places here!” Sokka pushed the button and the doors closed. 

“Sounds.. fun!” You couldn’t really complain because you had practically begged for Sokka to let you live with him, plus you couldn’t afford anything more than splitting rent four ways in a cheap apartment. “Is there anything else I should know?” 

“Sokka never washes his dishes and only takes out the trash if you yell at him to do it. Zuko always leaves his towels on the ground but he’s a neat freak so the cleanliness of his room leeches into the rest of our apartment, it’s great. And I’m a perfect roommate,” Aang said with his smile that could convince you to give him everything you owned. 

“That is such a lie, Aang! I do everything that I’m supposed to do; your room is a mess that can’t even be cleaned up by Zuko, plus you stay up super late all the time talking on the phone to Katara! Thin walls buddy, THIN. WALLS.” 

“Do you want to talk about thin walls? Because you play your music as loud as possible, and somehow it’s always when I’m trying to study! And every time we drink, you become a huge mess.” After Zuko put his word in, the three boys all started arguing. You made eye contact with Katara and Suki; Katara gave you a sympathetic smile but Suki just grinned. 

“Alright, boys! We’re here, so kindly shut up.” You elbowed Sokka in the side as you walked out of the elevator, giving him an innocent smile when he scowled at you. “Lead the way, bro.” 

~~ 

It took about ten minutes to get all of your boxes in the apartment with six people helping you, and though the girls wanted to stay they had to get back for some stuff relating to their classes. You thanked and hugged them all, and soon it was just you, your brother, your sister’s boyfriend, and the guy that you thought was hot. 

You spun around in the living room before collapsing onto the couch, spreading your arms out above you and sighing heavily. “I feel like I could fall asleep right here.” 

“I hope you can because that’s where you’re gonna be sleeping.” You looked up at Sokka with shock, and he stared back at you for about five seconds until he started laughing. 

“Ah, you should’ve SEEN your face!” He managed to get out through his laughter, wiping a tear from his eye. 

“Do you enjoy causing me pain?” 

“Very much so.” 

“You and Sokka are sharing a room, Y/N. Aang and I are in the other. And don’t worry, there are two twin beds in each so you don’t have to share share,” Zuko explained quickly. 

“Oh, fantastic. My boyfriend always snored a lot so I’ve gotten very good at tuning them out. You’re lucky that I’m the best roommate ever, bro.” 

“First you invade the sanctuary that is my home, and then the sanctuary that is the group chat for the home, and now you embarrass me in front of all of my friends for no reason? You are not my mom!” 

“Come on Y/N, we can show you around your room and the apartment.” Aang interrupted Sokka’s spiel, still going on in the background as the two of you walked over to a door with a large band poster on it. 

Zuko watched your retreating figure with a small smile on his face until you disappeared into the room, snapping out of his trance when Sokka started pulling him towards the room, grumbling about how ‘no one appreciates my genius’ and ‘can’t believe they left me’. 

I just checked the ML tag, and apparently, there's a new episode called "Gang of Secrets." Have you seen it? If yes, what happens in it?

Summary below:

- Episode opens with Ladybug having just used Miraculous Ladybug. After landing on a rooftop with her, Chat Noir compliments her strength and states that they’ve never fought a villain that fast before. He then goes to fist-bump her but she ignores him, seemingly distracted as she looks around. Chat Noir calls her, snapping her out of her trance, and asks her what’s wrong. She pretends to be okay and fist-bumps him, then yoyos higher up the rooftop and asks if they should do a patrol since they need to recheck if everything fine in Paris. Chat interjects and asks if she wants to tell him what’s wrong instead, noting that she didn’t even react when he called her “Bugaboo.” Ladybug still insists that everything is fine, saying that she has time left but she also doesn’t want to talk. Chat jumps up to her level and assures her that he knows the ideal place to “not talk,” to which Ladybug happily states that she’ll follow him there.

- Cut to Ladybug and Chat Noir in a movie theater with a romantic movie currently playing. Ladybug calls Chat Noir out for leading her into a “trap,” to which Chat shushes her and reminds her that she didn’t want to talk. Two movie-goers nearby glance at them for talking, Chat waving and then making a “shh” movement in response, to which they smile. Chat then fakes the stereotypical stretching motion to try and land his arm on Ladybug’s shoulder, but she stands up abruptly, shouting at the movie for the female lead to not tell her male love interest anything else.

- Chat Noir tries to tell Ladybug to keep her voice down, but she starts ranting about how romantic movies are lame and unrealistic. She goes to to say that, in real life, the girl takes a crazily long time to tell the boy that she loves him without stuttering, and it’s impossible to know if he loves her too, so she decides that she’s never going to be with him, and “boom,” she falls in love with someone else. Chat is getting progressively more uncomfortable at Ladybug’s outbursts and Ladybug goes onto say that everything is simple, “almost too easy,” no stammering, they hold and kiss, then--surprise, she has secrets and the boy hates secrets, which is normal, but then they have to breakup and everything’s miserable, the end. She criticizes romantic comedies for being “whatever” and Chat notices the the two moviegoers from earlier glaring at them, so he apologizes to them and leads Ladybug out of the theater.

- On the way out, Ladybug is offering the people in line for the theater advice by telling them not to see romantic comedies, suggesting that they see superhero movies instead: special effects, no feelings, no questions, and no one talks to each other because there’s nothing to say. She adds that at least they will have a good time, then finally leaves the theater in a huff, Chat Noir looking awkward and unable to do anything but wave and apologize at everyone before following Ladybug out.

- Chat walks behind Ladybug, who has gone from angry to sad/distressed. He comments that he didn’t understand everything she said and he knows nothing of her personal life, but he knows what a broken heart is like and that’s what she seems to be going through for him. Ladybug turns to face him and denies it, insisting that everything is going perfectly. She then diverts the conversation, suggesting that they go to the swimming pool and she wants to go. Chat tells her that he’s here for her if she needs to talk, but Ladybug swings off and heads for the pool. Chat Noir sighs.

- Cut to AquaBug descending from her balcony and onto her bed, complete in goggles and a towel around her neck. She collapses onto the bed Barkk and Ziggy start flying over. AquaBug looks at her corkboard of Adrien and Luka pictures, then turns away, clearly depressed. Ziggy comments on how sad this all is, to which Barkk said that she told Ziggy previously that they should remove the pictures. They go to do so now but AquaBug turns and tells them to stop, insisting that she’s not sad and the pictures don’t bother her. She insists that they’re just pictures of her friends and that she loves fashion and her friends, telling them to leave them where they are, sulking back onto her bed while insisting there’s no problem. Ziggy and Barkk leave.

- Cut to Alya and JARM (Juleka, Alix, Rose, and Mylene, for those uninitiated) in Alya’s room, where Alya states that Marinette has a problem and it’s lovesickness. She pulls up some pictures on her tablet of Marinette and Adrien (all where Marinette is either anxious or clumsy/screwing up), explains that she was in love with Adrien in the beginning, but never managed to tell him because “it’s Marinette they’re talking about and he’s Adrien.” Alya then shows pictures of Marinette and Luka, adding that then Luka enters the scene and Marinette gets to talk to him because “it’s Luka” and they get together. Rose comments that they’re both cute, but Alya adds that they broke up, to which Juleka nods and mumbles something unintelligible, pulling out her phone to show the girls a picture of Luka looking notably depressed. The girls sigh.

- Alya states that the bottom line is that Marinette never told them about it, and the only reason they knew about the break-up was that Luka told Juleka, who told Rose, who told Mylene, who told Alix, who told Alya herself. Alya laments that she’s Marinette’s best friend and didn’t know, then the scene cuts to a flashback where Alya narrates that she heard Marinette crying in the bathroom. When Alya went to check on her, Marinette opened the door with a diguise (glasses, nose, and a mustache) to cover her face, insisting that she wasn’t crying and she’s never been so happy before in her life, adding that they should throw a party.

- Cut back to the girls in Alya’s room. Rose asks why Marinette would hide things from them and Alix notes that it must be a problem if Marinette didn’t even tell Alya. Mylene asks what they should do an Alya suggests that what Marinette needs is a discussion between friends, proposing that they all call her to talk about it. The girls do some sort of five-way fist-bump completely with making a rabbit ears sign at the end.

- Marinette, still AquaBug, is sulking on her bed when her phone starts ringing, but she ignores it. Back with Alya and JARM, Alya notes that it’ll probably go to the answering machine, which it does. Cut back to AquaBug, who hears that she now has a message and taps her phone without looking to listen to it. Her friends’ voices greet her and tell her that she should know that they’re there to talk, when or where she wants. They request that she call them back, they tell her they love her and add “kisses,” then the message ends. AquaBug simply slumps back onto her bed.

- Some of the kwami hover nearby, with Barkk saying that they must intervene and will need Tikki. Trixx offers to take care of it and flies down, suggesting to AquaBug to communicate with her friends on her “talking device.” AquaBug asks what she’d say because “everything is fine.” Trixx then suggests at least de-transforming, to which AquaBug insists that she’s better off as Ladybug because she’ll be ready if Shadow Moth attacks. Trixx points out Tikki and states that she might want to rest of have a bite to eat, which finally gets AquaBug up in a panic. She de-transforms and Tikki lands in her hands. She asks Tikki if she’s already and Tikki chimes that she’s definitely better than how Marinette is doing, suggesting that they talk. Marinette, already teary-eyed, lowers her head in defeat.

- Back with Alya and JARM, Alya suggests that they all go to Marinette’s house. Mylene then gets an idea of an “eternal friendship bracelet,” pulling out a bracelet of yellow threads along with some beads. She adds that it’s so Marinette doesn’t forget that friends can tell each other everything and that they’re always there for her. She starts passing out beads to each girl (Alya - orange, Juleka - purple, Alix - green, Rose - pink), explaining that she read in an old magazine about an ancient tribe in America who did that, going onto say that they mentally confide a secret to the pearl, adding the pearl to the bracelet, and once Marinette confides her own secret, the bracelet will unite all six of them. She adds hers - the blue one - to the bracelet and asks if the others are ready, to which Alix asks if it’d be easier to just take her out for orange juice to talk. The rest of the girls give her blank expressions in response and Alix relents.

- Meanwhile, Marinette is staring at her corkboard, Tikki besides her eating a macaron, and Marinette laments that she can’t have a love story so long as she’s Ladybug. Tikki, shocked, asks her why she’d think that and Marinette says that Tikki knows very well, explaining that she had to leave Luka because she couldn’t tell him the truth and it’d just be the same for Adrien. She adds that she can’t share her secret with anyone, unable to be honest with her best friend, her parents, or anyone, and condemned to lie, all the time, to everyone. Marinette asks what she can do and Tikki admits that she wishes she could help but kwami don’t fall in love. Marinette laments that no one can help her and her life as Marinette is too complicated. She adds that it might be better to just be Ladybug all the time, then calls upon Tikki to transform her. She then leaves for the balcony and the kwami look upon her, sad, when they hear voices from below.

- Alya and JARM enter Marinette’s room and the kwami quickly flee into the dollhouse concealing the Miracle Box. Rose notices the dollhouse right away and coos over how cute it is, urges the girls to come look as well. Mylene comments that it’s another super creation from Marinette and Alya says that Marinette must be on the roof, saying that she’ll go get her as she heads for the staricase.

- Up on the balcony, Ladybug is shouting at nothing, asking Hawk Moth (not Shadow Moth?) what he’s waiting for and that she’s ready for him. When there’s no response, she sighs and walks back, dropping onto her bed. She hears Alya calling for her as she comes up the steps and Ladybug hurriedly whispers her de-transformation phrase just in time.

- Marinette asks what she’s doing there and Alya says that they’re here to see how she’s doing. Marinette then hears Rose cooing over the house and Marinette panics, hurrying down just as Rose says that she’ll remove the roof to see what’s inside. Marinette avoids the stairs entirely, dropping from the bed to forcefully pull Rose out of the way, standing protectively in front of the dollhouse. Rose drops the roof from the motion and it breaks on the ground, all girls looking on in shock as Rose apologizes for it. She reaches down to pick up the roof and Marinette requests that they get out of her room. Alya insists that it’s nothing and they’ll help her fix it, but Marinette raises her voice and demands that they leave.

- Alya, now annoyed, states that there’s obviously something going on and they won’t leave until she tells them what it is. Mylene holds up the bracelet and says that each one of them has given their secrets to it, so now it’s her turn. Marinette responds that she’ll tell them what’s wrong, then points out that they all walked into her room without her permission. The girls look briefly surprised, then Alya takes the bracelet and holds it out, insisting that they’re friends and Marinette must tell them everything. Rose adds that real friends never let each other down, and the camera cuts to Marinette with her hand behind her, desperately trying to hold the dollhouse behind her together.

- Panicking, Marinette angrily says that she doesn’t want them as friends then, snapping at them and ordering them to leave. The girls are stunned, then begin to file out of the room sadly. Marinette sadly watches them go, but averts her gaze when Alya - the last one out - makes eye contact with her. Now that everyone’s gone, Marinette collapses onto the floor, the dollhouse falling to piece behind her. Tikki flies over and Marinette tells her that she had no other choice. Tikki assures her that she knows, and Marinette says that she doesn’t have to lie anymore since she doesn’t have any friends to lie to. Tikki sighs sadly.

- At the bakery, Sabine watches with concern as Alya and JARM walk past them to leave. Sabine tries to call after them to ask what’s wrong, but they ignore her. Shadow Moth sees his opportunity and sends his akuma.

- At the park next to the bakery, the girls are sitting in a circle. Alya, holding the bracelet, laments that she lost her best friend, then passes the bracelet to Mylene. Mylene says that she’d hoped it would work, then passes it to Rose. Rose sobs about how sad it all is, then passes the bracelet to Juleka. Juleka mumbles something unintelligible, then passes the bracelet to Alix. Alix states that it can’t end like this, at which point the akuma hits the bracelet, all five girls being hit by Shadow Moth’s symbol. Shadow Moth introduces himself and states that their friend didn’t want to tell them her secrets, so he’ll grant them the powers to get them out by force in return for Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses. Alya states that Marinette must remain their friend, Alix chimes in that it’ll be whether she wants to or not, Mylene adds that she won’t keep secrets from her friends anymore, and Juleka mumbles something unintelligible again. They all proceed to get akumatized into their most notable forms: Lady Wifi (who says she’ll take care of catching her), Princess Fragrance (who states that Marinette under her scent will have to put up her secrets), Timebreaker (who adds that they’ll turn back time to make everything like it used to be), and Reflekta (who says that they’ll comfort her and she’ll be their friend again). Lady Wifi adds that Horrificator will keep Ladybug and Chat Noir at bay if they try to intervene.

- Back with Marinette, the pieces of the dollhouse have been thrown away and Marinette places the Miracle Box in a brand new contraption of hers, where she has to press switches in a specific order to open and close it. She sighs in relief, at which point her phone goes off and Lady Wifi emerges from it. The kwami hide inside the box and Lady Wifi tells Marinette that she’s here for her and she’s her best friend, adding that she better tell them all of her secrets and she’ll feel much better afterwards. The kwami look on with concern and Trixx starts charging his powers. Wayzz tells to be careful and he shouldn’t do that, with Barkk asking Trixx if he remembers “last time” he used his power without a holder. Trixx points out that Marinette can’t reveal her secret, then uses Mirage.

- “Marinette” runs for the staircase, leaping up and hurrying to the balcony. Lady Wifi gives chase and sees “Marinette” now down from the balcony heading for the school, so she pursues, idly wondering how she did that. She fires at “Marinette,” telling her not to run and reminding her that they’re friends. The rest of the akumatized girls join up with Lady Wifi and they hurry inside the school. “Marinette,” who is not hiding, vanishes, as she was only an illusion.

- The illusion in Marinette’s room drops and Marinette thanks Trixx for it. Marinette then transforms into Ladybug and heads for the stairscase, stopping halfway to ask Trixx about using his powers without a holder since it’s supposed to cause a disaster. Trixx shrugs and states that his power only causes illusions, so any damage will also be illusory. Ladybug leaves and Trixx gets glared at by Wayzz and Barkk, to which he tells them not to be annoyed since Miraculous Ladybug will be everything... he hopes.

- Ladybug leaves her balcony and notices that the Eiffel Tower seems to be gyrating. She groans Trixx’s name, then yoyos away. The scene then cuts to Adrien in his room watching TV, where the news is talking about the Eiffel Tower’s odd behavior. Plagg says that he bet it was Trixx who did it, then explains that it’s the kwami of illusion when Adrien asks who Trixx is. Adrien states that it’s not an illusion and Ladybug needs help, Plagg groaning about needing to help whether it’s him who makes a mistake or not. Adrien transforms.

- In the school’s library, Lady Wifi and Timebreaker enter, the people in the library freaking as as the two go off and uses their powers, Lady Wifi firing randomly and Timebreaker touching people to get more energy to go back in time. Horrificator also scares people in the bathroom in order to power up, while Reflekta and Princess Fragrance enter the art room and asks if anyone’s seen Marinette. When they shake their heads at them, Princess Fragrance adds that they’ll help them find her, both her and Reflekta firing at all of them. The Reflekta copies leave the school and go to search for Marinette. The akumatized girl squad then exit the school, with Lady Wifi saying that Marinette is hidden somewhere and suggesting they separate.

- While the akumatized girl squad goes on a rampage, Chat Noir is running across the rooftops and quckly hides somewhere, calling Ladybug on his baton. Ladybug answers and Chat comments that the supervillains are “having a party and they haven’t been invited.” Ladybug explains that they’re searching for their classmate, Marinette, to which Chat comments that they’ve saved her multiple times yet everyone seems to like her. Ladybug adds that it seems like Marinette got into a fight with her friends all at once, looking down sadly. Chat Noir asks if she’s still there (I legitimately don’t know what else he was expecting her to say considering she answered his question) due to the silence of the call, to which Ladybug tells him that she was thinking. She points out that they’ll have a hard time finding the object since there are five akumatized villains, and Chat infers that she already has an idea. Ladybug does, saying that she wants to isolate one of them so she can tell her where the akuma is, but Chat needs to stop Timebreaker specifically from going back in time or else the plan might fail. Chat agrees and wishes her good luck, Ladybug doing the same in kind before hanging up.

- Timebreaker, who is rollerblading around and touching people, is stopped by Chat Noir, who tries to banter with her. Timebreaker states that she can’t be wasting time with him and attacks, Chat Noir blocking with his baton.

- Meanwhile, Lady Wifi is leaping across rooftops when she’s suddenly entangled and brought down by Ladybug’s yoyo, dropping her phone in the process. Ladybug steps on it, but there’s no akuma inside. Ladybug is surprised and Lady Wifi mocks her, stating that it’s “too bad” and that she’s not the one with the akuma. Ladybug says that it’s no big deal and she just wanted to talk. Lady Wifi responds by saying that she won’t tell Ladybug anything.

- Cut back to Timebreaker and Chat Noir fighting. Shadow Moth contacts the akumatized JARM and tells them that Lady Wifi is struggling against Ladybug, to which they agree to take care of it. Timebreaker leaves even as Chat Noir tries to get her to come back.

- Back with Ladybug and Lady Wifi, Ladybug asks if she’s having problems with her best friend. Lady Wifi isn’t talking, averting her gaze, while the akumatized JARM is shown to be on their way. Ladybug pretends not to know what happened between Alya and Marinette, but says that she’d like to talk to Lady Wifi about a friend of hers; a superhero, Rena Rouge. This catches Lady Wifi’s attention and Ladybug adds that they obviously have secrets between each other, even just because of her secret identity, but that they trust one another anyway even if they can’t tell each other everything, which allows them to fight alongside each other. Lady Wifi looks downwards in thought and Ladybug tells her that she can reject Shadow Moth’s power.

- Lady Wifi shuts her eyes tight, focusing. Shadow Moth’s symbol appears over her face, with Shadow Moth telling her not to listen because she’ll never know Marinette’s secret if she doesn’t, nor Ladybug’s. Lady Wifi falters and Ladybug tells her that she has absolute trust in her and that she needs her; she needs Rena Rouge. Lady Wifi clenches her fists and clutches her head, Ladybug watching tensely as Lady Wifi break freak of Shadow Moth’s mind, Shadow Moth himself shown to be holding his head from the mental impact, stating that such a thing is impossible.

- Lady Wifi de-transforms and Alya collapses. Ladybug goes to her and helps her up, calling her incredible and stating that no one’s ever done that before. Alya says that it’s because Ladybug is an incredible friend and they fist bump. Ladybug then gets a call from Chat that the Gang of Secrets is looking for her, adding that he’s trying to stop them - currently in the middle of fighting all but Horrificator - but doesn’t know how long he can hold them back. Shadow Moth contacts the remaining four akuamtized girls and tells them that Lady Wifi betrayed them and preferred Ladybug’s team, ordering them to hurry up and deal with Chat so they can take care of Ladybug.

- Ladybug asks Alya which object the akuma is in. Alya explains that it’s in a bracelet that Timebreaker should have, but that Ladybug and Chat Noir won’t be able to defeat four villains at the same time (meanwhile, me having flashbacks to “Mayura”). Ladybug says that it’s time to call the mistress of illusions and pulls out her yoyo. She opens it, reaching inside a ladybug-patterned portal to pull out the fox miraculous. Alya is in awe and asks how she did that, Ladybug explaining that it’s something new that happened since she became the guardian of the miraculouses (before anyone asks; no, there was no pre-established moment of her realizing that she could do this). Alya is about to loudly repeating “the guardian of the miraculouses,” but stops halfway and slaps her hands over her mouth. Ladybug tells her to keep the scoop to herself and especially not to post it on the LadyBlog. Alya promises and adds that she knows how to keep a secret, promptly putting on the necklace and transforming.

- Meanwhile, Reflekta has Chat down on the ground, sitting on his back with his arm (the one with his ring) twisted behind him, and . Ladybug and Rena Rouge watch from a distance and Ladybug uses Lucky Charm, getting an inner tube in response. Her lucky visions spots Timebreaker, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, then the building with the swimming poll. Ladybug tells Rena that she has a plan.

- Back with Chat and the akumatized JARM, Chat threatens Timebreaker that he’ll activate his power if she tries to take the ring, and who knows what’ll happen to her then. Princess Fragrance approaches and asks why they should bother taking it by force when she can just make him her slave and make him give it to her. Ladybug then tells Rena Rouge that it’s time to use her power, Rena hopping up to higher on the rooftop and using Mirage.

- An illusion of Marinette appears, crying out for Chat Noir in concern. The akumatized JARM notice her and all four run off to chase her, even as Hawk Moth protests and orders them to take Chat’s miraculous first. Ladybug and Rena Rouge descend to help Chat Noir up, who thanks them for the help. Ladybug tells him that’s what friends are for, then tells both Chat and Rena to go to the pool. Chat asks what she’s going to do and Ladybug says that she’ll distract the akumatized JARM, adding that Rena will explain the rest of plan.

- The illusion of Marinette runs into the building with the swimming pool, Ladybug descending just as the remaining members of the Gang of Secrets try to pursue her. Shadow Moth orders his group to take Ladybug’s miraculous and Timebreaker tells the other three to deal with Ladybug while she takes care of Marinette. Ladybug lets Timebreaker jump over her to head inside, then tries to defend herself against the remaining three. However, Horrificator (very large from all the people she’s scared) snatches up Ladybug within a few seconds, holding her in one hand while Princess Fragrance holds up to Horrificator’s shoulder and walks along her arm to head for Ladybug.

- Back with Mirage’d Marinette, she looks behind her to see Timebreaker there. Timebreaker says that it’s time to reveal her secrets, and the scene briefly cuts back to Princess Fragrance telling Ladybug not to resist, adding that she’ll soon do everything they’ll tell her to, ordering her to give them her miraculous first. Shadow Moth is in his lair, saying that it’s his time (i.e: that he’s about to win). Timebreaker tells Marinette that she can’t escape her and Marinette runs onto a plank at the center of the pool. Time breaker makes a giant leap up and starts descending on Marinette, reaching out to touch her, but Rena Rouge drops her illusion, both Marinette and the plank underneath her fading. Timebreaker gasps in shock and plummets upside-down into the water, at which point AquaChat slips the inner tube on her, trapping her arms at her sides. He pulls her down, then lets go, forcing Timebreaker up out of the water, flipping and landing right-side-up. Chat then uses Cataclysm and breaks the object, freeing the akuma. Timebreaker de-akumatizes into Alix, who looks around in confusion and watches the akuma fly off.

- Meanwhile, Princess Fragrance is about to take Ladybug’s earrings when she starts de-akumatizing too, as well as Horrificator and Reflekta. Ladybug and Rose fall due to no longer being supported by Horrificator’s body, and Ladybug safely catches Rose, who thanks her. Ladybug lets her go with a smile, then notices the akuma leaving the swimming pool building, pulling out her yoyo and de-akumatizing it. That done, she casts Miraculous Ladybug, returning everything - including the still-gyrating Eiffel Tower - back to normal.

- JARM are hugging Ladybug looks down sadly. Rena holds out her fist for a pound and Ladybug looks over to see that Chat Noir is also ready for one. The three pound it and the scene cuts to Shadow Moth’s lair where he’s seen monologing about how Ladybug’s made mistakes in the past and she will make more (goes without saying, my dude, considering it’s literally a rule of the show and objectively the dumbest one, you ain’t cool for predicting what’s already confirmed), adding that he’ll end up finding out her secret on day.

- Rena Rouge and Ladybug land in an alley and Rena de-transformed, Alya high-fiving Trixx afterwards. Alya returns the miraculous to Ladybug and thanks her, Ladybug adding that - without her and Char Noir’s help - she wouldn’t have been able to succeed. She tells Alya that she’s lucky to have friends like her, thanking her, and Alya hugs her. Ladybug returns the embrace and the scene cuts to Marinette, now holding the “eternal friendship bracelet” in both hands.

- Marinette admits to the girls that her break-up with Luka broke her heart and not being able to tell Adrien how she felt also made her feel terrible. She slumps onto her chaise lounge and laments over how difficult love is, saying that she thinks she’ll focus on friendship from now on because it’s already complicated enough keeping her friends. Rose tells her to take her time and Mylene assures her that everything will work out, Alya approaches and taking Marinette’s hands to say that - whatever happens - they’re always there for her. Alya then pulls Marinette off the chaise and all the girls hug her, Alix chiming into say that - whenever Marinette feels ready - she can say so and they’ll come up with an “awesome plan” to tell Adiren, Luka, or whoever that she loves them. Everyone laughs and Marinette comments that she loves the girls, leading them to hug again.

- Alya and JARM are on their way out, Alix saying good-bye and Rose saying that they’ll see Marinette tomorrow. Marinette waves, then glances at the friendship bracelet now on her wrist, looking down at it sadly. Alya - again, the last one out - notices and tells the other girls that she’ll join them later because she has one last thing to say to Marinette. Alya then shuts the trap door and goes over to Marinette, taking her by the shoulder and leading her back towards the chaise.

- Alya tells Marinette that she didn’t tell them everything, and she can tell because she’s a reporter and her best friend and she feels those kinds of things. Marinette slumps back onto the chaise and Alya assures her that she’s not going to investigate or force Marinette to tell her what it is. She settles down on the chaise and puts a hand on Marinette’s back, saying that it’s in Marinette’s right if she doesn’t want to talk about what’s happening. Marinette asks if they’ll always be friends and Alya says that she’s her best friend and always will be, which is why it hurts her to not be able to help Marinette feel less alone. Marinette averts her gaze sadly and Alya sighs, getting back up and starting to leave.

- Marinette then catches Alya’s hand, telling her to stay. Alya looks back and Marinette admits that Alya’s right and she’s very lonely; more alone than ever before, and she’s finding it harder and hard to resist it. She points out that she didn’t break up with Luka because she didn’t like him - he’s amazing - and the break-up was because there’s something she can’t tell him, adding that she’s drawing a line with Adrien because it’ll be the same with him. She admits that she has secrets and lies all the time - to her friends, to her parents, to everyone - and how the worst part is that she can’t do a thing about it. Alya says that there’s always a choice and Marinette argues that there’s not one for her; that it’s beyond just them and it’s too heavy of a burden to carry. Alya suggests that they’d at least be two to carry it if it’s too heavy, and Marinette laments that things will never be the same if she tells her; that it’ll destroy everything and change it all. Alya assures Marinette that, whatever she says, she’s her friend, and Marinette starts to say something before she cuts herself of, pausing, then turns to Alya and tells her that she’s Ladybug.

- Alya’s brows raises in surprise, the two doing nothing but stare at each other before Alya looks pained and leans in to hug Marinette, who hugs her in return. The kwami are seen hovering above them and the episode ends.

sincerely, but no longer yours | chapter 5

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sincerely, but no longer yours | ex!kim namjoon x reader

genre | angst, smut, exes au

summary | It started as a coping mechanism as getting the words out provided a form of catharsis. But now you can’t stop writing these love letters, even with the knowledge that they’ll never get sent. After all, who writes love letters to their ex?

word count | 5.2k

chapter rating | 18+

warnings | angst, smut (but it’s angsty smut lksjdflk help), nipple play, dry humping, alcohol consumption, someee intense jealousy

a/n | FIRST OF ALL im so sorry this is so incredibly late lskjdflkjs life has been extremely busy for me 😪 but it’s here!!!! thank you to everybuddy who’s been waiting patiently for this 🤧🤧 but i think this is one of the most angsty chapters of the series soooo 🙃

Namjoon’s an expert at avoiding uncomfortable topics, even if they’re massively serious. It’s something you absolutely hated and it was the cause of many arguments in your previous relationship, and perhaps was even the ultimate cause of your breakup.

But right now, you’re really beginning to understand the appeal.

The first time he swung by the museum for lunch after his birthday celebration - a paper bag in hand filled with bagels still warm and toasty from the store on the corner that you adore - you were caught entirely off guard.

Your mind jumps to the unread messages sitting in your texts and you regret ignoring them. Not because the guilt had hit you, but because maybe if you had been contactable, you would have received a heads-up that he was coming by.

Some might call it selfish, but you prefer to call it self-preservation.

To be fair, it’s not like you were going to leave them unanswered forever. You just needed space to collect your thoughts and make sense of your confusing emotions first, lest you begin the conversation prematurely and drag Namjoon down into the dizzying depths of your current state. As it is right now, your thoughts are like nodes floating in a decontextualized void, the web still unformed because you haven’t had the time to grapple with everything yet.

But here he is, inspecting the cross-section of each bagel Soo-eun pulls out of the bag, trying to identify which is which. Yeri’s at his side, gushing about how great the bagels from this place are. The three of them are crowded around the paper bag that sits on the wooden bench, the paint peeling from the way it’s been bleached by the sun in the museum’s outdoor area. Here he is at your workplace. With your friends. You can’t ignore him now, not without rousing your friends’ suspicion.

But what you can ignore is the issue.

It’s not the time nor the place to talk about this anyway. The atmosphere is warm and light, carrying traces of last night’s celebratory mood. The lunch treat is Namjoon’s way of appreciating the surprise you guys organized for him last night. And there’s a bagel stuffed full of salty sweet ham and sticky melty cheese waiting for you to sink your teeth into. Really not the time for serious conversations at all.

So when Namjoon’s eyes search yours, all wide and probing, as you step in to grab your share, you simply smile and thank him, before slinking away to join Soo-eun on the next bench. Not too far - barely five steps away - but far enough that it gives you space to breathe. Even if Namjoon notices your attempts at escaping, he doesn’t have time to call you out on it. Not when you slyly shoot Yeri a wink. Seamlessly, she catches the cue and sits herself down on the bench, tugging at his arm. For once, you welcome Yeri flirting with Namjoon.

“Let’s eat! I’m starving,” she says.

You don’t miss the way Namjoon’s gaze flickers between you and Yeri, but you ignore it and take a generous bite of the bagel in your hands.

“Mm, so good,” you say, and turn to Soo-eun. “Don’t you miss the days before this place got really popular?”

“No, because you and Yeri insisted on going there every day. I can only ingest so many bagels a week.”

“____ hasn’t changed one bit.” Namjoon chuckles. “This time in middle school, she ate tater tots every single day for three weeks straight. She had to be banned for a week.”

“Are you weaponizing my middle school past against me?” you ask amidst your friends’ laughter. “Too bad. I don’t regret it for a second. Tater tots are too delicious to regret.”

Lunch falls back into the easy rhythm of lighthearted jibes, the kitchen debacle receding for now.

Procrastination is a real bitch of a habit to kick. As soon as one reason to put it off expires, your brain churns out another two in its place like a modern-day Hydra.

As for Namjoon? Well, you’re not surprised when he makes no moves to initiate the difficult conversation. After all, you’re adopting his bad habit.

Eventually it gets to the point where you might as well not talk about it at all. Everything’s going fine so far without it. Or as fine as it can be with this beast looming in the backdrop.

You know you need to just get this damn conversation over with. But you can’t. Not till you figure out what exactly is going on with your emotions. Without it, there’s no way you can cauterize the wounds and invalidate your excuses for what they are -- excuses.

It’s not that you haven’t tried. But it’s presenting itself as a real Herculean effort. Mulling it over has you tossing and turning in bed, only leaving you with a headache and a steadily growing desperation. It’s desperation enough that you leave the comfortable warmth of your bed to sit at your desk, shivering as you pen the familiar words once again.

Dear Namjoon,

The words flow in their usual, unrestricted manner. Before, it had been like a dam breaking, the tight restraint that was normally kept on your emotions finally released and the wave of emotions gushing out till it reached a peaceful equilibrium. But now, your emotions are just a whirlpool and your words you pen mimic its spiralling, chasing your thoughts in endless loops.

You’re not over him. But so what? It’s not like getting together is an option. Not when he hasn’t grown out of one of the major things that caused the end of your previous relationship. And not when you haven’t even talked that out, if you ever will.

So what can you do now? Kicking him out of your life will mean having to deal with the loss that his absence will bring again. Going back to pretending the other doesn’t exist will mean dancing around each other again every time you bump into each other in this too small city. And with the way your social circles are intertwined now, that would mean a bunch of explaining to do.

But having him close yet holding him at arm’s length? Walking the narrow margin that is being friends with your ex? A misstep in either direction would be torturous but inevitable - too close and it’s alarming, but too far and it’s a painful reminder that he’s not yours.

Far from the illuminating effect you were hoping it would have, your letter to Namjoon only leaves you deeper in confusion. You throw your pen down. Giving up, you fold the paper up. Sealing the letter in an envelope doesn’t bring the same sense of relief it did before. The Hydra remains unslain.

And so the problem gets shoved away - the same treatment the letter gets as it’s roughly tossed into the desk drawer - into the same corner of the recesses of your mind that your breakup resides in.

You know that Namjoon’s confused. Heck, you are too. It’s a strange dance the two of you are involved in, caught between the compulsion to continue yet knowing the risks it bears. Neither of you are bold enough to take the lead. And so this strange stasis drags on as it has for weeks now.

It’s as if the kiss unearthed something in him. Actually no, it’s unearthed something in both of you. And the tension - the fucking tension - is unreal. The tells are so obvious that you wonder how neither Yeri nor Soo-eun have said anything about it yet. There’s certainly no subtlety in the way his eyes linger on your lips in the middle of conversations that you wonder if he’s even aware he’s doing it.

And when it’s just the two of you? It’s infinitely worse.

It’s hard to blame him. Touch has always been your love language and Namjoon knows it. Physical touch wasn’t just a thing of your previous two-year relationship. It was a thing of your decades of friendship too, the little touches so casual and almost subconscious. Rekindling your friendship without them had taken intentional effort.

You’re not sure who started it. Maybe both of you just fell back into it, the casual little touches slipping their way back in. But what’s not casual at all is the way your heartbeat goes erratic at the most simple of gestures. The way he blithely sweeps the crumbs from your lunch off your lap. The slightly too long side-hug he holds you in, the warmth of his arm around you permeating through the layers you wear and has you simultaneously freezing up while also turning your insides to goo. But it isn’t overtly romantic either.

At least, that’s the excuse you give yourself when the comfort of his touch gets too tempting and you end up succumbing to it. The familiarity of it all makes you feel like you’ve finally arrived home. As if you’ve been on this long, arduous journey and you’re finally here. You get to drop the heavy backpack and rest now.

But the voice of rationality in you tells you this wrong wrong wrong. You’ve got to get out of here.

And that’s how you end up here. White-knuckled grip tight on the edges of the sink as you stare yourself dead in the eyes in the bathroom mirror. The music outside thumps away albeit muted through the door to the ladies’. But the way your heart thumps has nothing to do with that.

Even without shifting your gaze, you can tell that your cheeks are slightly reddened and warm. You can feel it tingling. No, you don’t shift your gaze. It stays fixed on the intense stare that your reflection throws back at you like a challenge, the ferocity of it enhanced by the sharp eyeliner you’re wearing tonight, an uncharacteristic look for you.

Heck, this whole night is uncharacteristic.

You could take the easy route and blame it on Yeri. God knows she can be real persuasive - it’s why she’s excellent at her job. So getting you all out to the club on a Friday night to celebrate nothing other than the simple joy that - c’mon guys, we’re all young and alive and free and tell me that’s not worth celebrating and I’ll fucking fistfight you right here and now even with my freshly manicured nails - is no feat for her.

Still, no one really expected your simple reply, tone nonchalant and eyes still glued to your work screen, “Yeah, I could use a night out.”

Soo-eun had remained silent but you could feel her stiffen slightly beside you. Yeri had been surprised too but more elated that she didn’t have to get through your usual ten solid minutes of whining and half-baked attempts at slithering your way out of it.

But back to the present. Your bodycon dress - one of the rare pieces that survived not just your college partying days but also the wardrobe purge that occurred when you had to downsize everything to fit into the tiny apartment that’s quintessential to city-living - expands with your chest as you take a deep breath. Gripping the hem where it sits mid-thigh, you yank it down slightly. It’s been a while since you’ve worn this dress. And while the younger, more risque version of you that was your college self had been enthralled by the daringness of the dress, your current self has to dig deep to muster up that same boldness.

Relenting as you realize that this is the limit to how much you can stretch the length of your dress, you let go and your fingertips unintentionally brush your thigh as it falls back to your side. It elicits a shudder, the sensation of your own fingers too close to the electrifying feeling of someone’s thumb skimming across it. It was electrifying enough that your brain finally powered up again, voice of rationality sending you skedaddling away, out of reach of his touch, and pathetically seeking refuge in the washroom.

You roll your shoulders back and shake your head, dispelling the thoughts. Standing upright, you look yourself in the eye again. You can do this. You’re going to go out there, and you’re going to have a good time with your friends. You’re going to have a good time with Namjoon. With a nod of affirmation, you turn and saunter your way back to the club with a confidence that has your chin firmly tipped upwards.

You push the door open and look for your friends. The sight that greets you immediately punctures your confidence and your steady posture falls limp.

It’s hard to miss her silvery dress - the dress you knew she would wear and the dress that your very own was meant to counter. It catches the light and grabs attention. And at this moment, it grabs your attention so you can witness Yeri standing between Namjoon’s manspread thighs as he’s perched on the barstool, her hands all over him.

Whatever puffed up confidence you’d had is knocked out of you with that sucker punch of a sight. You turn away, needing to look anywhere but at them.

And that’s when your line of sight falls on a curly-haired man, oddly familiar, and apparently someone you know since he’s waving to you.

“____, hey!” he yells over the music.

“Dong-In?”

He nods and smiles at you. “It’s been a while.”

“Wait.” You gasp. “I was supposed to get back to you on brunch, wasn’t I?” Damn. You’ve been so wrapped up with Namjoon that you totally forgot about Dong-In. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been really caught up with things.”

“It’s no biggie.” He shrugs boyishly. “The exhibition, right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sure, the exhibition. Let’s go with that.

“And nothing to do with…” he directs his gaze - and yours along with it - to none other than Namjoon who’s now drinking with Yeri.

Your gaze snaps back to Dong-In and his cheshire grin.

“Nah,” you feign a laugh. “He’s just a friend.”

“The hand he had on you sure didn’t look like just friends.”

“I said we’re just friends,” you snap, then gasp, taken aback by your own outburst. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, I should be the one apologizing. I hit a nerve there, didn’t I. D’you wanna talk about it?” His voice is warm and mellow and oh so inviting. And you very nearly give in.

But you can’t pull him into your problems. It’s not his burden to bear.

“Not really. But thanks, Dong-In.”

“That’s cool.” He nods, and relief fills you. This is what you’ve always liked about Dong-In. He’s chill. “Well since we’re here, wanna get buzzed?”

You laugh. “I won’t say no to that.”

The bar isn’t too far from where you are, and it doesn’t take long before the burn of alcohol is sliding down your throat. Picking up the conversation again, you have to admit, you’d forgotten how easy it is to talk to Dong-In. He’s got that effortless charisma and an easy sense of humor that you can vibe with. Things are simple with him. There’s no line to be tiptoed. Flirting - now that you’re no longer obtuse and you’re finally aware that he is indeed flirting with you - isn’t accompanied by guilt or fear.

And after weeks of this complicated situation with Namjoon, simplicity is what you crave.

“Hey, do you wanna dance?” you ask suddenly. Surprise colors his features for a moment but he laughs it off.

“Is the conversation boring you? You could have just told me to shut up if you wanted me to,” he jokes.

“No!” You laugh. “There’s just a good beat going and-”

“I’m just kidding. I’d love to.” He smiles and grabs your hand.

The two of you weave your way through the mass of gyrating bodies. Lightly buzzed, the fog and the strobe lights blurring everything around you other than your dance partner, you finally find the courage you’ve been searching for this whole time. Dong-In hasn’t been very subtle about checking you out all night, and it gives you that extra boost of confidence that’s finally quelled the antsy thoughts and calmed the fidgety adjustments to your dress’s hemline.

So when his hands find your waist, you step in a little closer and run your hands through your hair, shaking it out and finally letting loose as your hips rock to the pounding beat. Dancing with Dong-In is much like conversing with him- easy and simple fun with just the slightest tinge of excitement. As your hips sway together in languid synchrony, you catch a whiff of the slightly intoxicating combination of his cologne and the undertones of his own natural scent. You give in to the giddying sensation of his hands running lightly over your body and press in closer, eyes fluttering shut, and just feeling. It’s thrilling. It’s risque. It’s-

A solid grip on your wrist yanks you forward and stumbling into a hard chest.

His voice is gruff as he bites out his words, “Get your hands off her.”

“Namjoon?” you gape.

“We’re leaving.” His eyes fix on yours, steely and piercing. A shiver runs down your spine - in all your years of knowing him, you’ve never seen him like this. He tugs on your wrist once more. “Now.”

Dazed by this brand new persona, you don’t even get to say goodbye to Dong-In, just pulled along by the force that is a quietly fuming Namjoon. Everything happens so quickly that it’s all a blur until you’re in the Uber with him, silently clutching onto your purse as an anchor in this sudden whirlwind of events. The anger emanates off of him even in the dimly lit backseat.

“What the fuck?” you whisper, but the shock diminishes the level of conviction in your voice.

He turns to you, the same hardness still in his gaze. “I should be the one asking that.”

“What?!” you snap. In your peripheral vision, you see the Uber driver jump slightly. Lowering your tone, you hiss, “What gives you the right?”

“What gives me the right?” he echoes incredulously, scoffing and turning away from you to face forward instead as he rolls his eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

The car slows to a stop and you recognize your apartment building. You scramble to get away from him. But it seems your confrontation is far from over. Namjoon unbuckles his own seatbelt to follow you.

Terse silence sits between you, the aggravated stomping of your feet as you climb the stairs the only thing that fills the sound.

You turn sharply round the corner, stalking off to your apartment door. “You don’t have to escort me y’know, I’m perfectly capable of getting home by myself.”

“Really?” He folds his arms and leans on the wall next to your door. “It’s hard to trust you when you go off getting drunk and throwing yourself at a random stranger in the club.”

“Is that what the problem is?” You finally ram the key in, and the click as it unlocks is as harsh as your tone. “Sorry to break it to you, but I have a life apart from you. He’s no stranger. His name is Dong-In, he’s Yeri’s friend, and he’s a great guy.”

You shove the door open. Your heels get kicked off and left haphazardly at the entryway, shoe cabinet ignored.

“Wow, some great guy he is,” Namjoon slams the door shut and his shoes get discarded off his feet in the same fashion, “drunkenly feeling you up in a club.”

“Fuck!” You turn, wringing your hands in your hair. Your glares rival each other. “You say it as if I was strung along by him. Well I wasn’t. I initiated it.”

His glare flickers for a moment. He stays silent.

“Just admit that you’re jealous,” you whisper. You unsling your purse and dump it on top of the shoe cabinet, never breaking eye contact.

“Fine.” Namjoon’s gaze doesn’t waver. “I am.”

He skulks forward and traps you between him and the cabinet, gaze holding yours. Namjoon’s always towered over you, but at the moment it isn’t his height that makes you feel tiny.

“Watching his hands all over you like this,” Namjoon’s hands slowly skim the back of your thighs and up your sides and you bite back a whimper, “makes me jealous.”

“And watching you respond like this?” He continues as a firm hand presses the small of your back to close the gap between your torsos. “Glued to him like this? It makes me jealous.”

“You don’t own me,” you whisper but it only elicits a sardonic laugh from him.

“You say that, but you know damn well that’s not the truth. Tell me. Are you jealous?”

“What would I-”

“Yeri.” Damn. Straight through the bullshit. With an eyebrow cocked, it’s obvious he knows the answer and he’s not budging, not even an inch.

“Yes,” you admit quietly. “I’m jealous.”

“Silly girl.” He traces the hemline of your dress. “I only want you.”

A soft keening noise spills out of you. “I’m so sick of holding back.” You tug on his dress shirt, and the feel of his plush lips finally, finally meeting yours snips the final frayed cords of self-restraint you possessed.

Namjoon is quick to reciprocate, and you moan as his tongue licks at your bottom lip. Hooking your arms around his neck, you pull him closer, needing nothing else but to have him close after all this time of distance. He hoists you up, and your legs circle his waist to aid him. The world around you sets into motion as he walks you to your bed, and you anchor yourself by pressing kisses to his neck.

With how tiny your apartment is, it takes no time for him to carry you from the entryway to your bedroom. The cool sensation of your unmade sheets envelops you as he lowers you down onto the bed. He barely gets a moment to appreciate the sight of you, hair mussed and lipstick smudged, lounging on the bed and waiting for him. Desperate for his touch and running out of patience, you gesture to the zip on the side of your dress. Hurrying, he pulls the zipper down as you tug your arms out of the thin straps of the garment. You sit up and let the torso of the dress fall to bunch up at your waist, revealing your bare chest to him.

The quiet gasp that escapes him as he beholds you is infinitely flattering. It’s but a momentary pause. He dives forward into action again. An arm looped around your back to support you as your chest arches upwards, he crouches over you to take one perked-up tit into the heat of his mouth, his free hand coming up to toy with the other. His tongue laves over your nipple in a slippery flick. The other gets pinched and rolled, leaving you gasping at the delicious sensations.

“Namjoon,” you moan out breathily, and it only eggs him on. You whimper as he begins sucking on the bud and wetness pools between your thighs. Your fingernails rake down his back, muted through the layer of his dress shirt.

“M-more,” you plead. He releases your breast and moves his mouth upwards, trailing gentle pecks till he kisses along the length of your collarbone.

“Come here,” he commands, his words breathy and hot as they puff against the thin skin of your clavicle. He scoots back to lean against the headboard, and you follow hastily.

You clamber on top of him, knees bent and straddling his lap as he helps you hike the skirt of your dress up. But before you seat yourself atop the prominent bulge in the lightwash denim of his jeans, he holds you still with a firm grasp on your hip.

His thumb trails the lace detail of your panties, the patterns snaking across your hip bone, baby pink like your dress.

“Gorgeous,” he mumbles. His fingers wander to your clothed core, the material slightly sheer from the damp spot of your arousal. He strokes it tenderly with the pad of his finger, so light that it has you quivering as you hover above him.

His fingernail grazes your slit through the wet material and a gasp catches in your throat. You clench around nothing as carnal desire throbs through your core.

“Namjoon, please,” you whine.

Finally, he gives in to you and pulls you down. Your laced core meets his rough denim-clad one. The stiff material of his jeans pokes through the delicate fabric of your underwear, the friction rough as he drags you over his clothed bulge. The burn is delicious. His hands on you set a slow but steady rhythm that you follow easily, canting your hips in time. It’s enrapturing to watch the way you grind on one another, your clit rubbing up on the apex of his bulge in mutual pleasure.

A finger tips your chin up from the sight you were fixated on.

“Eyes on me.”

It’s difficult. Pleasure has your eyes drooping shut. But the intensity of his gaze compellingly holds yours and you manage, even if barely. His expression is stoic, and it’s only the twitch of his dick that betrays how affected he is. You, on the other hand, are completely abandoned to pleasure. Hands scrabbling across his upper back and up until they settle themselves as fists gripping tufts of his hair, teeth clamped on your bottom lip as moans spill out of you at increasing frequency as your pleasure climbs and climbs and climbs until-

Burrowing your face into the side of his neck, you pant as you cross the peak. Hips now stilled, your climax has you throbbing against his hardened member. You cling onto him with your arms around his neck as you free-fall in the subsiding pleasure. Bare chest brushing against the smooth material of his dress shirt, you catch your breath and yield to the moment.

“Shit,” he mutters. “Shit.” Louder this time. “Shit, shit, shit.”

The regret in his words yank you out of the heady fog of lust. There’s no time to bask in the afterglow. Reality comes crashing down hard and mercilessly.

Suddenly, you feel so small and so exposed. You read his regret as rejection. Your nudity and previous salacious actions make you feel stupid.

Namjoon attempts to extricate your arms from around him, but shame has you clutching to him tighter, hiding your face in his neck. You can still feel him under you, but it’s now an uncomfortable reminder of the act you just committed.

“Hey,” his voice is gentle now, pleading, “look at me? Please?”

You refuse. It’s impossible to look him in the eye right now.

“Fuck.” Even whispered, the panic laced in his tone is blatant. Gently, he maneuvers both of you to turn over. Feeling the mattress underneath you as you’re laid on your back, you release your hold on him and swiftly turn and tug your blanket up to hide away from him.

“____.” He tries. You grip the sheets even tighter as you feel him trying to pull it away from your face. “Please.”

Embarrassment. Guilt. Mortification. They overtake you and you curl in on yourself. You just want to disappear.

“____,” he tries again, hand stroking your head. But you don’t allow yourself to succumb to its comfort. “Talk to me. Please.”

Oh, now he wants to talk.

Why couldn’t you have just talked things out earlier? Why only now when things have fallen apart? Why now when you’ve just done something so stupid and so reckless?

Why now when it’s too late? What can talking possibly do to fix this now?

His pleas are met with silence.

“I’m gonna get you some water,” he says resignedly.

More silence. He sighs. You feel the mattress shift as he gets up. From where you’re still hiding in the stuffy darkness underneath your blanket, you hear his footsteps return and the muted thud of the glass getting placed on your bedside table.

The silence returns, but you can feel his presence. You imagine he’s staring at your blanket lump on the bed.

Finally, the heavy quietness is broken with a deep breath, and you hear him say softly, “Get a good night’s rest, okay? Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

The light clicks off and you’re plunged into lonely pitch-black darkness. In the distance, you hear the heavy opening and closing of your front door as Namjoon leaves.

Unearthing yourself to the coolness of the night, your dress an uncomfortable lump around your waist, your breasts slightly sore from his previous ministrations, you stare up at the ceiling as hot tears leak out.

It’s well into the afternoon by the time you drag yourself out of bed the next day. Sleep came intermittently and was far from restful, but waking up meant facing the nightmarish reality of what had transpired. So you hid under the covers for as long as you could. But you know you can’t stay there forever.

The buzzing notifications of your phone had woken you up on more than one occasion in the night. But you ignore it and leave your phone next to the glass of water - still untouched - in favor of washing up. It’s more pressing anyway, you surmise. You can feel your make-up, now icky and caked on your face. It’s awful. Your skin is probably revolting against you now and you don’t even want to think about the mess it probably left on your pillowcase. But last night, you were simply paralyzed by the weight of what you’d done, crying till sleep finally came for you.

You take your time going through an extensive skincare routine, even busting out the clay mask you had impulsively bought together with Yeri when it was on discount. You’re doing it because your skin needs the pampering and definitely not because you’re procrastinating getting to your phone.

But there’s only so many steps you can do with the limited skincare products in your apartment. And you know your friends are probably worried about your abrupt disappearance last night. Getting to those messages first, you quickly assure Soo-eun and Yeri that you’re safe at home. Looking at the remaining notifications, you sigh.

Missed calls Namjoon (8)

7 unread messages from 2 chats Namjoon: are you still sleeping? Namjoon: hey, you still asleep? Namjoon: text me when you’re up please? Namjoon: are you awake?

Dong-In: hey! Dong-In: not sure what exactly happened at the end there haha, but it was rly great seeing u again. Dong-In: i’m still waiting on that brunch reschedule, by the way.

Memories from last night come back to you. Dong-In runs his hands through his curls, an easy grin on his face as he leans in to listen to you over the loud music of the club. Things are simple with Dong-In. And, standing on the precipice of a mental spiral whenever you think of Namjoon, the same craving for simplicity from last night returns.

[2:06pm] ____: well it’s a little late for brunch right now

[2:06pm] ____: but you still up to grab a bite?

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): I don’t think there are any in this chapter. But, please do tell me if there are any.

Taglist (closed!): @castellandiangelo

Status: completed!

part 2 > part 3 > part 4

series masterlist

With every step he took, I slowly felt the tension rise and awkwardly stood there, slurping on my iced drink. "Eren, you know Levi. And, these two are Isabel and Farlan," I announced and gestured to introduce themselves. "Hi, Eren!" the hyper girl smiled. "Nice to meet you," the more composed, blonde male replied. As those three spoke, I stood opposite Levi. "Looks like we ended up going bowling after all," I smiled, easing the tension. "Is your argument with Eren over?" "I guess, yeah... Anyway, it's my turn now. What lane are you on?" "We're a few lanes apart. Make sure you don't cry if you miss me too much, darlin'."

I playfully rolled my eyes and said a small 'bye' to all of them as they went to play as well. I approached Eren to see him smiling, which made me frown. "Why are you smiling?" "Because those two people are nice. Now, I get why you're so comfortable with them." "Does that mean you don't have any problems now?" "No. Isabel and Farlan weren't made up, correct?" he asked and I nodded. "So, I don't care if you hang out with them because there isn't anything fishy about them like there is about Levi." "Tch. Fine. I don't want to argue again and I understand what you're saying, so let's carry on. We still have a few more turns." Now, it was me who was throwing a ball and Eren who slurped the slushie, making his tongue blue, which he was yet to find out. I squealed when I knocked down all ten of the pins and did a little victory dance, no matter how embarrassing it was. I looked at Eren to get his praise; I got a grin and messy hair since he decided to ruffle it. An inaudible huff left my lips as I fixed my hair, using my phone's black screen. "... I'm getting kind of hungry," I stated as I stood behind the brunette, watching the bowling ball roll towards the pins. "Let's finish this game then go and eat. What are you feeling?" "Hmm... I don't mind. You choose." "I don't mind either." "I don't understand how we've made any decisions together. We’re so indecisive" I joked and I heard a small puff of air leave his nose as he smiled. "Anyway, let's go somewhere close by." I picked up my phone and began to look for food places near us. "(Y/N), it's your turn." "Okay. Here, look for a place to eat." I shoved my phone into his hands and picked up a ball, getting ready to throw it. "Hi, darlin'," a voice whispered, very close to my ear which made me jump and accidentally drop the ball, with a bang, and it decided to make its journey down the lane. "Levi!" I pouted. "Don't do that, you prick, you ruined my chances of getting a strike. What are you even doing here?" "I'm getting drinks, and to do that, I have to go past here. Also, you might want to look at how many pins are left,” he told me, so I looked towards where he was motioning and a grin planted on my lips. I got another strike! "Bye." "I still hate you for scaring me." "I know you don't," he smirked and walked away. "Hey, are you up for some pizza?" Eren questioned, causing Levi's smirk to dissipate in my mind and I faced him, strolling towards him and sipping on the beverage that he held. "Yeah, sure. It's your last turn, by the way," I told him, taking the drink and my phone from his hands. "Oh, okay. Aw, you have so many more points than me." "Do you know why?" "Because you're/I'm amazing," we both said at the same time, causing a laugh to erupt from my mouth before a smirk settled onto my lips. Eren was able to knock down nine which he cursed at. One pin was always almost impossible to hit. "Good luck~" I sang teasingly. Soon, nothing was in his hold as we both watched the ball roll on the floor, making its way in the correct direction towards the last pin. The ball brushed it. It wobbled. And it slowly fell. I playfully punched his bicep with a smile. "Well done." "Thanks." "I'm going to go say bye to them." He nodded and followed me towards the trio. Isabel was the first to spot us and she grinned and waved. I love her energy; she's somehow always able to be enthusiastic, I seriously wonder how. "Hey, we're going to go." "Aw, okay. Hope you had fun with your boyfriend." "Uh, no, he's not my boyfriend. He's my friend." "But why does he have his arm around you?" I didn't even realise since he does that most of the time, it became a norm to me. "... Don't know. It's just a thing he does." "Her shoulders are the right height for me to rest my arm on," Eren spoke. "Wow, so you're just using me as an armrest?" "Yeah." I gave his chest a light push and he chuckled quietly, coming back to my side. "Anyway, I'll see you guys next week." "Bye, (Y/N)! Bye, Eren!" "Bye," the male beside me smiled. "See you later," Farlan said. "And, I'll see your annoying ass on Monday, Ackerman." "The same goes to you, darlin'." "Are you going to wear that same unicorn shirt?" I smirked as his glare burned into my very soul. "Don't bring that up again." Eren and I left with a wave and his arm came back on my shoulders. "... Why does he call you darling?" "Eren, don't. I'm not in the mood to talk about anything negative. I just want to enjoy this day without any conflict." "Fine." ~/~ "Nope." "Aw, (Y/N), please," Hanji begged as I ignored her and stepped into my room, closing the door behind me and locking it so she can't come in. "It was a party you planned so don't bring me into this. You clean up after your guests." "Why're you being so mean? You'd normally help me out." "Yeah, I'm just not in the mood today. I thought we already established that if it's your guests then you clean up. I wasn't even home so don't drag me into this." I heard a sigh of defeat from Hanji and some footsteps padding away from my room. Finally, I could just rest without interacting with humans. Yeah, I had fun with Eren today, but ever since I walked into my university in the morning, I wanted to be home. Once I changed into my pyjamas, I turned off the lights and nestled under the covers, staring at the ceiling for a while before getting interrupted by my phone since someone decided to call me. "Hello?" "Hey, (Y/N)~" Jean’s voice sounded. "Idiot," I whispered to myself. "Are you drunk?" "Yes... But not that much. I'm not going to have a mad hangover or forget everything once I wake up." "Okay. So, why did you call me?" "I wanted to hear your voice," he muttered. "Also, we only spoke at lunch today. That's not enough time to talk." "Are you at home?" "Yeah, I took the bus." "What do you want to talk about, then?" "I don't know. Even if you don't talk, it's fine. I just want your company..." he mumbled. "I missed you over the month I was gone, you know." "Mhm. I missed you, too." "And I miss having you near me all the time like I did when we were dating. Do you miss it as well?" "... You still have me and you aren't going to lose me." "Do you miss it?" he repeated. "I don't know what you want me to say, Jean." "I want you to say the truth." "... No, I don't," I admitted. "But that's only because I can still talk to you and act normal around you. The only thing that's different from our relationship is that we don't give each other affection. I mean, you still flirt with me, but I know you only do it as a joke." "Thank you for being honest with me, (Y/N)," he murmured, giving me a hint that he was falling asleep. "Jean, I think you should sleep. It's late," I told him in a quiet voice and I heard him hum. "Yeah, okay. Night, (Y/N)." "Goodnight, Jean." And with that, I hung up, letting out a huff. Starting to feel bad, I called Hanji (since I wasn't bothered to get out of bed) and she answered five seconds later. "Hey, Hanji, do you still need help?" "It's fine. I'm nearly done," she spoke in a hushed voice, which is something I rarely hear. "Are you sure?" "I mean, it would be helpful, but I'm guessing you're already in bed." "Yeah, well, now I'm standing up. I'll come and help you." "Thank you." "You can cut the phone now, I'm right next to you," I smiled and she softly laughed. We both did the last few things like brooming, which I did, as she put dishes in the dishwasher. Few words were exchanged but we were both tired so it was understandable. I wiped down any surfaces and put things back in their places, like cushions or any kind of furniture. "Hanji, did you see how much Jean drank?" "Not much. He was a bit tipsy but I'm sure he got home fine. Why?" "He called me, sounding drunk but he said he didn't drink that much. And then, he started to tell me that he misses our relationship before asking me if I did." "Did you say yeah?" "No. He wanted the truth so I wasn't going to lie. I doubt he heard what I said, though, because he sounded like he was going to knock out." "... I think he still has feelings for you. He hasn't dated anyone else and he persistently flirts with you. Maybe he wasn't happy with the breakup, but decided to go along with it to make you happy." "I was thinking that as well. I don't want him to stop himself from moving on but I don't know what to do." "Talk to him about it. Most things are solved by words." "But what do I say? 'Get over me and go date some bitch'?" "Along the lines of that. Just not rudely and don't call a girl 'some bitch'." "Anyway, are you done? I'm going to go to bed now." "Yeah, go. Thanks for helping me." "No problem." I walked inside my room, quietly closing the door and plopping down onto my bed, once again snuggling under my covers and eventually falling into a deep sleep. ~/~ "I'm so glad we get to go out since we barely hang out. I only see you around but we never have time to speak," the strawberry-blonde female piped beside me and I smiled at her, thinking the same. "I know. How's everything going for you?" "Great. Though, I have a project to work on. Thankfully, they're giving us two weeks to do it. What about you?" "Nothing important. Just going to lectures as usual." "... I've been wanting to ask for a while now... You know that guy, Levi, you've been hanging out with...?" "Go on." "I was wondering if he was single." I nodded slowly, forcing a smile onto my lips as we strolled around, going no place in particular. "Yeah, he is." Oh, Petra was so much more beautiful than me. So much smarter than me. So much more pleasant to hang out with than me. And, she also happened to have her eyes on the same man as me. "Well, I was kind of thinking of asking him out. Could you help me out since you seem close to him?" Another thing, it's been two months since I met him and Eren had given me permission to be all over him (not really, but you know what I mean) and he gave me Levi's number. This was such great timing, I could just squeal in excitement... Yeah, right *eye roll* But I can't stop others from asking him out since I don't want to. "Of course. He deserves someone like you." Oh, how much I wanted to rip my lips off my face so I didn't have to fake smile. "Aw, thank you so much." But Petra was a wonderful girl who also deserves Levi. They'd make such a perfect couple, it makes me want to cry just by thinking of it. However, I'm still going to stick by my promise and help her. Even if they end up getting married, I'll carry on smiling because I'll be happy for them as I slowly die internally. A hand was placed on my shoulder, knocking me out of my daze. Instinctively, I twisted around and thrust my fist into the gut of the jerk who decided to put their nasty hands on me. I heard a groan, I saw his face, and I bit back a smile and apologised. "Sorry," I snorted. "Are you secretly part of some gang or something?" he managed to speak with a strained voice as he clutched his stomach. I giggled at his response as we moved to the side to get out of people's way. "No. I thought you were some pervert." "I'm the pervert? Think before you speak, darlin'--" "Yes, yes, I know. You're going to say I'm a perv. Anyway, once you recover, I'll introduce you to Petra," I said, giving a knowing look to the female. "He's not this weak, he's just being a drama queen." "Tch. Sorry I don't have abs of steel." How are you going to lie like that? You clearly have the most perfect abs, I thought. "Are you about done complaining?" I arched an eyebrow and he sighed before nodding as we started walking again. "So, this is Petra, a lovely person that isn't weird like my other friends who you prefer not to hang out with." "It's not that I don't want to hang out with them, it's just I have no idea what you're talking about because all I hear is laughing and incoherent words that you somehow understand." "Yeah, well, with Petra, you can have a civilised conversation." "Well, then, it's nice to meet you, Petra." "The same goes to you," she beamed. "Where were you guys going?" "Nowhere. (Y/N) and I were just walking around," I let her respond so they could talk some more. "What about you?" "I was going to get tea since I've run out." "Oh, okay," she paused, thinking of what to say next, so I lightly nudged her and mouthed some words. "Um, do you want company?" "No, it's fine. It'll be quicker if I go by myself." "Yeah, but the more, the merrier," I blurted out to which Levi lifted a brow to. "Well, since you're basically on your knees, begging to come, let's go." Petra mouthed a quick 'thank you' and I grinned in return, saying that I was going to quickly grab a coffee and then join them at the store. Both of them nodded and I went to the cafe Eren worked at. Oh, looks like he isn't here. I ordered a coffee and waited by the side, looking down at my phone. "Why are you so upset, princess? Missing your favourite waiter?" a voice teased, causing me to look up at the grinning Eren. I mirrored him with a grin of my own. "Yeah, but only because he gives my broke ass a discount," I retorted as he softly chuckled. "I'm surprised I don't see you with Levi." "I actually was, but he went to get tea from the shop down the road with Petra." "Petra?" "Yes... You've met her a couple of times." I bit down on my lip. "And I may have promised her that I'll help her get together with Levi," I told him as he took a customer's order. Once they paid, he started to prepare their order. "Why would you do that?" he questioned with furrowed brows. "Because I couldn't just say no. And I shouldn't stop girls from asking him out just because I don't have the guts to." "You're too nice. You have to learn to say no. And, if I were you, I would punch every girl that talks to him." "Yeah, but I'm not violent like that. Even though I just punched Levi." "Why?" "I thought he was some random dude who put their hand on my shoulder, so of course, I would punch any idiot who thought it would be a good idea to touch me." "He got what he deserves," Eren mumbled as he faced away from me to give the customer their order, but I vaguely heard him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Leave him alone," I childishly pouted. "He's done nothing to deserve your hatred. He doesn't have anything against you, so I don't know why you're still bothered." The teal-eyed male sighed. "I don't know either. I'm just being bitchy." "I'll prove to you that he's a decent person that you don't have to be worried about anymore." "Sure." "Excuse me, miss? Here's your coffee," the young man smiled and passed it to me. "Thank you," I replied and he went to serve some other person. "Anyway, I've got my coffee and I'm distracting you from your work, so I'll see you later." "Wait, give me a sip." I gave him my coffee and he smiled as he passed it back to me. "Bye, princess." I playfully rolled my eyes before leaving the cafe and making my way towards the store Levi and Petra would be at as I mentally prepared myself for whatever was to come. I entered the building and saw them at the till, paying for Levi's tea and some other things as they held a conversation.

I waited by the exit, leaning against a wall and taking small sips from my coffee as to not burn my tongue. They approached me and I pushed myself off of the wall, walking beside Petra, who was in the middle of us. And I mean that metaphorically and literally since she's stopping me from forming a relationship with Levi (it's my fault so I can't really blame her) and she's also walking in between us. After Levi had gotten his tea, he went home since he said he 'didn't feel like going anywhere'. That left me and Petra as she thanked me for helping her and introducing her to Levi. We ended up going to the library and whispered to each other about whatever we had missed, forgetting the books that we were reading. We then got some food that I decided to eat at home since I wasn't hungry when we got it. That's when our day together ended and we parted ways. Now, here I am, at home, cocooned in some blankets with a bowl of popcorn as I watched a show Hanji's been telling me to watch with all the lights off. About halfway through an episode, I heard the front door open and in came Hanji and her boyfriend. I paused it, knowing I would miss an important part when they come into the living room. Oh, just a heads up, by the way: Hanji's boyfriend is also one of my professors at our university. "Hi, (Y/N)," Hanji beamed as Erwin gave me a nod as a greeting. "Hey--" "Oh my gosh!! You're finally watching it!" "Yeah, but I'm only on the third episode." "I don't care. I'm so happy you decided to watch it," she squealed. "Anyway, I don't want to disturb you, so bye." She doesn't want to disturb me, huh? More like she doesn't want to waste time on this conversation when she could be doing other things with her boyfriend. And I'm so glad that the doors and walls are all thick, almost as if they're soundproof. I resumed it before having to pause it again due to my phone ringing. Doesn't my phone ring at the perfect times, like when I just want to relax? I answered the call after reading the name. "Hello?" "Yeah, hi." "What do you need?" "Why were you acting weird today?" "What do you mean?" "You know exactly what I mean. You may have seemed happy, but you didn't look it at all." "And what is that supposed to mean, Mr Moody?" "Yeah, you were smiling but it was forced. And you spoke with a happy tone, but your eyes didn't match it." "Why the hell are you staring at my eyes?" "(Y/N), just tell me what's going on." "... Why do you even care?" I muttered. "Because you almost never act like you did today." "Well, it's something I prefer not to share. I'm flattered that you care so much about me, but don't worry about how I'm acting," I responded, throwing some popcorn in my mouth and grinding it with my teeth. "Fine. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. Sorry for caring." I sighed and held my phone to my right ear now, instead of my left. "No, I'm sorry. I am being a bitch." "You're always one, darlin'. You're being a grumpy bitch today." As he said that, I could imagine a smirk etching onto his lips as his hues shimmered with amusement. Oh, how much I wished to see his face and I wished I hadn't told Petra to basically 'Go ahead and marry the love of my life'. "Oi, are you okay?" "Hm. Oh, sorry, I just zoned out. You should know I do that a lot by now." I loved his soft voice that sounded like a purr. I could imagine that he was either lying in bed or on the sofa because there was no sound of movement. Maybe just staring up at the ceiling as he spoke. Isabel and Farlan were probably in their rooms because it sounded like he was alone. I bet there was a hint of Earl Grey tea on his breath. Oh, imagine if he was lying down shirtless, exposing his sexy abs that I have yet to see. Yeah, I sound like a complete weirdo and perv but we've gone over that already, so it shouldn't be a surprise. "Anyway, you should probably go to sleep now since we've got uni tomorrow." "Yeah... Wait, when's our first lecture?" "Ten o'clock." "Okay, thanks. Looks like I can finish off this episode before going to bed." I couldn't see him, but I could almost sense that he rolled his eyes. "Make sure you get some sleep. Goodnight, darlin'." "Yeah, night, Ackerman." I locked my phone once he cut the phone and I was finally able to watch the damn episode. ~/~ "What did I tell you?" was the first thing someone said to me the next morning. "Hush. I don't feel like getting a scolding right now," I murmured and massaged my temples as I felt a headache arising. Not only did I lose precious hours of sleep, but I also happened to start my period this morning, so on top of my headache, I had cramps. Aren't I just the luckiest person alive? Even though his mouth never opened, I could just tell by the way Levi was looking at me that he was mentally cursing at me for not sleeping well so I rolled my eyes. "At least you don't look like a corpse, though." "Why, thank you," I replied sarcastically. "Hey, do any of you have painkillers?" I asked both males - Jean shook his head and Levi fished something out of his bag. "Oh my gosh, thank you so much." I took a water bottle out of my bag and gulped it down, along with two pills. I'm not overdosing, don't worry, it's just how many I take since one doesn't work on me. "Thank you," I said once again and he simply nodded as Professor Erwin (aka Hanji's boyfriend) walked in. Of course, he would be smiling more than usual (if you know what I'm implying). As the lecture went on, I forced my eyes to stay open and made sure that I wouldn't nod off. At one point, I had no idea how or when, but my head ended up on Levi's shoulder. I don't how long it was there for, but he gently nudged my head with his shoulder which woke me up. I found out that it was the end of my lecture and let out a huff as I packed my stuff away and followed other people out of the hall. As I did that, I spoke a few words with Historia, another civilised human that I often talk to. "I'll talk to you later, (Y/N)," she beamed with her glistening blue eyes and walked away as I waved at her. "Hey, sorry for falling asleep on your shoulder." "I don't care. But you're taking your ass home and having a nap. Our next lecture is at one so you can have a two-hour nap. Just make sure you aren't late." "Yeah, yeah. I need a human alarm, though. Do any of you want to hang out at my place?" "Sure," both males replied and shrugged as I smiled at them and we all proceeded to mine and Hanji's apartment. Once reaching our destination, I slipped my shoes off, dropped my bag to the floor and plopped down onto the sofa on my stomach, closing my eyes. Before I could fully relax, I felt a weight settle on top of me. "Ugh, I hate you, Jean," I groaned once turning my head to see that he was sitting on my back. "Love you, too," he teased. "Okay, shhh. Let me sleep."

A Simple Favor

»Summary: Your best friend ends his relationship and ends up staying with you.

»Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

»Genre: smut

»Words: 2.1k

» M.List

»A/N: let me know if you guys want this to be a series?

-

"Why the hell did you go in there? Tsk...you deserve to die then- ahh." You screamed as you heard a knock on your door that was perfectly in time with a random jump scare.

Your body was fighting every urge to get up and retrieve it but before you know it you heard your door close shut and foot steps coming closer. Your breathing picked up as you sat up staring at your hall and a shadow coming closer. As soon as the figure turned the corner you screamed throwing a pillow.

"It's just me." You heard the voice and immediately grew angry.

"JISUNG WHAT THE FUCK!!!" He was quick to sit next to you already hogging your blanket and eating your popcorn. "You can't just enter my place."

"You were taking forever and I know where your spare key is.

"You scared the shit out of me."

"Why are you watching Annabelle?"

"I like horror movies." You shrugged.

"Not me." He grabbed your remote changing it.

"Excuse me, who invited you?" You snipped taking your remote back.

"I always come to your place."

"It's fucking 12:30. Why are you here so late?"

"I have nowhere else to go."

"What do you mean? Plus you have Chris and Minh-"

"Nowhere I actually want to go." You were silence as you tried to put the pieces together.

"I broke up with Sohyun." He was looking at the tv. "I'm just fed up with her, she complains about everything, she's constantly yelling at me for every little thing, I just need a change."

"Have you ever thought that maybe this quarantine is just making you both nuts?" You suggested trying to sound optimistic.

"We've been fighting for months. But I'm sure it's not helping."

"I'm sure you just-"

"I'm sure." He cut you off. "Our relationship stopped feeling special for a while now, I just didn't want to believe it."

"I love you Jisung but you're really bringing me down." You slouched against the couch.

"Maybe if you turn off this evil doll movie, it will lighten my mood."

"Fine." You picked through different comedy titles until one crossed your sights.

"You looking for a roommate?" You looked at him pursing your lips not knowing what to say.

"My apartment is a one bedroom."

"I can stay on the couch."

"Doesn't your other friends have open rooms?" He just stared not answering. "I'll let you stay for a little bit so you can find your own place or moving back in with your girlfriend."

"I'm not moving back in with her." He quickly shut you down.

"You've been together for what....7 months? You really want to throw that away?"

"Thanks for reminding me....how could I be so stupid to move in with her, 7 months is way too soon."

"I don't understand, you two seem fine last time I saw you."

"I was dead inside." He laughed at his own joke. "No really she's fine one night and then the next she's pissed at me. I can't even remember the last time we kissed."

You couldn't help but feel sympathy for your friend. You never really liked Sohyun but that was none of your business.

"What about you (Y/N)?"

"We are never going to finish this." You teased.

"What about me?" You continued to ask.

"Who was your last boyfriend again? Wait...please don't tell me Sungjae."

"Yeah, so what?"

"That was over a year ago that's all." He looked back up front letting you unpause the movie.

-

It's been one week since you've let Jisung stay with you and it really wasn't as bad as you thought, especially during quarantine. He was a slob no doubt but he was actually nice about helping you stay tidy, but with a helping of sarcasm. He was your best friend after all and he was fun to be around, for the most part.

"Your bed is a queen right?"

"Yeah." You looked at him confused.

"Meaning you can fit two people in it."

"You ask about sharing my bed one more time, I will seriously toss your ass out."

He pouted. "No, I appreciate your couch, I just want to make sure you're not lonely."

"I'm perfectly fine thanks."

"Shall we rent a new movie?" You changed the subject. "Oh how about this?" You picked a comedy movie that had actors you recognized so you decided to complete the purchase.

Jisung has ordered food since he was grateful for letting him stay.

"This movie is unrealistic." Jisung complained.

"How?"

"They don't even like each other." He was referring to the sudden make out scene that was quickly turning more intense.

You always hated watching a movie with these type of scenes, it was always awkward no matter who you watched it with. In particular Jisung, who was fresh out of a breakup. He was clutching onto your pillow trying to stay still as he grew uncomfortable.

He sighed suddenly as he began by turning next to you. "I know you don't like to talk about it but I'm just curious."

"What?" You whined.

"When's the last time you did it?"

"Come on-"

"(Y/N) you know you can trust me with anything." And you could. Jisung was the only friend that you were an open book to, but you still couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

"I don't know, last summer."

"What?"

"Please shut up......this movie was a bad idea."

He was silent for a little while that it actually worried you, so you felt relieved when he began. "I have a proposition." You looked at him. "Why don't we just do it with each other, it's been awhile for the both of us."

You weren't convinced you heard him correctly.

"(Y/N), please I'm not into hook ups and it's a hard time to date right now."

"But we're friends."

"That's why it's perfect, we know each other more then anyone and it won't be weird since we trust each other."

"It's weird just talking about it."

"It's not weird, we just use each other for special needs and we can stay friends...no ties."

"Someone always gets hurt in these things, don't you watch movies."

"How are we going to get hurt, we've been friends forever and we're always honest with each other. If you don't like it we can stop."

"I don't know."

"I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that don't you?" You hated when he looked at you like that. Jisung was an emotional person and really was everything to you.

"Okay......" He smiled. "But I have conditions." His smile quickly dropped as he looked at you unamused.

"This is only between you and me. Don't tell anyone, not even your friends. Also if you happen to get back together with Sohyun, we end it."

"That won't happen but okay."

"And if things start getting weird between us, I want it to stop."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just don't want this to change us."

"It won't." He said. "When can we start?"

"You're really bottled up aren't you?" You arched your eyebrows.

"You have no idea." You couldn't help but notice his already visible bulge. This movie just had to have explicit scenes didn't it?

"Bedroom or here?"

You rolled your eyes. "It don't matter."

"Would you rather do it in the kitchen?"

You playfully hit him. "Let's just go to the bedroom."

"In your bed?"

"Was this all to just win over my bed?"

"Of course not. And it's not just me, you want it too, unless you would of said no."

"Whatever jerk."

"Last thing." He began and you looked at him confused. "Try not to fall in love with me."

"Likewise." You returned his cocky attitude and got up and made your way to your bathroom.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"It's been awhile so I need to clean up a little."

"I don't care about that."

"I don't want you to be disgusted-"

"You are far from disgusting (Y/N)."

"You've never seen my body."

"I don't need to." You were taken back, you couldn't help but blush.

He looked around the room. "First things first, do you have any condoms?"

"I think I have a few of Sungjae's left over."

"What? Ew."

You gave him a questioning look. "It's not like they are used Jisung."

You opened your underwear drawer grabbing the box. "They're too small."

"You didn't even see the box yet."

"Don't need to." You shut him up by throwing the box at him. "Sungjae is a medium? Did you even feel anything?"

"You are seriously making me regret this."

"Can I just pull out?" He whined.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Okay fine." He began by removing his plaid shirt that hung over his plain white t-shirt.

"So how do we-"

He came really close to you that you grew speechless. "Um.....we don't have to kiss or anything." You looked up at him as he was already leaning down.

"How are we suppose to set the mood if we don't kiss?" He arched his eyebrows. "Plus...I'm like a really good kisser so you wouldn't want to miss this opportunity."

You shook your head amused. "Why do you have to be so annoy-" You were cut off by him sealing his lips with yours. You had the urge to push him off but you couldn't, something felt right.

And now you fear the worst.

Once he pulled away, you felt dizzy but you wanted more as you kissed him back to his surprise and he leaned you down on the bed.

Everything was happening so fast that you couldn't even process. He had you pinned against the bed while he kissed up and down your neck. His wandering hands started brushing up your shirt, feeling every inch of you.

You felt him playing with your bra strap, eventually loosening up the tight fabric. He had it off quicker then you realized and immediately started messaging your chest, loosely under your shirt. His lips made it's way back up to your lips, feeling more moist then before.

He stopped suddenly once he felt your hand making it's way inside his jeans. He closed his eyes tightly as you rubbed against him. You could feel the tightness growing causing you to unzip his jeans for more room.

When you felt like he had enough, you tugged his shirt up signaling for him to pull it off. You took some time to admire his toned body that you began to wonder when he even started hitting the gym. He suddenly distracted you by tugging off your sweats and you went ahead and took off your own shirt being completely exposed.

It almost looked like he blushed as he saw you in full. At this point you were growing impatient as he was taking his time with the protection.

"Jisung can you step on it?"

He looked at you amused. "Wow someone is a little eager."

"Shut it."

"I told you I didn't even want to wear one." He leaned forward and began kissing your neck once again before making his way to your swollen lips. You felt him slowly push in, not aware of how tight you were.

You couldn't help but wince from the slight pain until the feeling subsided to pleasure. His muffled sounds were so beautiful as he began your movements faster. The pleasure was familiar and too far forgotten. Almost like a dream. If only it was to save you from all the trouble you can already predict.

He leaned down kissing you passionately once again as his pace was comfortable. You felt like you were lost in your own world not caring who can hear you. You moved your hand to the front of your folds to guide your pleasure closer to the edge. You felt numbness scattered throughout your body as the climax finally reached its high point. Once he reached his he collapsed to the bed next to you.

You looked over at Jisung and you couldn't help but smile seeing how exhausted he was. He turned on his side facing you as he gently started to close his eyes.

Try not to fall in love with me.

You remembered what he said. Maybe it was just your hormones talking but you felt butterflies non stop. You're just hoping you didn't feel this way tomorrow.

Dean Winchester One Shots

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It’s Dean’s birthday, and you realize something about yourself you never knew before… Until now…                                

30 Minutes til Midnight (Happy Birthday Dean pt. 2!)

Sequel ot Happy Birthday Dean, will you finally tell him how you feel?

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Can you keep pretending your just friends, or will it all come out in the middle of the road.

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Dean struggles with his reality visiting the graveyard in his hometown of Lawrance, Kansas

The Fool

The reader comfronts Lisa, based on the song The Fool by Leanne Walmack

The Meeting

A secret releationship getts heated during a meet up

Waiting…

Waiting on your hero hunter to come home can be one of the harderst things you ever do.

Finally Yours

Alpha!Dean is in Rut, and only one Omega can help him through it!

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Six years ago Christmas Eve Dean made the biggest mistake of his life under influence of the Mark of Cane.

It Was Fifteen Years Ago Today

Haunted by the past tramas even Dean needs a little comfort sometimes.

I Did It Because I Love You

Dean’s been a complete and total asshole, what happenes when the reader finally has all she can take.

Happy Valenties Day Sweetheart

Dean shows the reader a little bit of his softer side….

I Kinda Like The Disease…

Your search for your demon boyfriend takes you to New Orleans during mardi grag…

Challenge Accepted..

Requested: ok so here is a request(idk if you do these)(also it’s smut) so dean talks about how good he is in the bedroom and the reader says something along the lines like “i bet you can’t make me come” Dean challenges this. In the bedroom and you know they doing the dirty or whatever. Dean edges her and edges her and just when the reader had enough of the teasing Dean finally takes her over her edge and the reader is left with the most hot shaking orgasm ever. I hope this makes sense! ❤️ur stories!!

Your Perfect

Request: the reader is always willing to go down on Dean but when Dean goes to return the favor the reader stops him and always finds an excuse. No one has ever offered to go down on her before so she’s insecure about it and doesn’t want to look weird in from of dean. i Hope this makes sense!

Curves

Requested: Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where she really shy and dorky but believes that she really bad at sex because she is bigger? And dean shows her that she not 😊💕 I hope this make sense haha! I know this sound awkward turtle 🐢

You Deserve Better Than Me

Requested: Dean winchester x pregnant Reader. Dean feels the reader deserves better than what he can give her in his life, what will he do when he finds out that she’s expecting his baby?

Quarantine

Summery: Everyone is stuck in quarantine right now everywhere, and your stuck alone with Dean, who really needs to blow off steam… Oh what has your big mouth gotten you into now…

My Best Friend

Request: hiii i have dean x reader request! the reader and dean are friends with benefits but recently she’s just been down in the dumps and just wants some platonic affection and not sex. as the writer you can do what u want but could you add Dean playing with the readers hair? i have a weakness for it lol thanks!

Just A Dream…

Part 1

Part 2

Winchesters Fantasies 1000 follower Challenge…

Daddy’s Home

Request: Hey I know this is odd, but I really enjoy your writing and I was wondering if you could possibly do a little smutty Dean thing? Maybe using the name Lyn, and really anything is on the table, I mean, it’s Dean Winchester. (Or if you want, some daddy kink and maybe just rough stuff :o) Thank you dear!! You don’t have to if ya don’t want to, no pressure 💕💕

Like Pulling Teeth

Request: Okay, so I was just watching few recent spn episode and saw Garth episode. Which gave me an curious idea, can you write dentist reader x dean? They’re in a relationship, one day when dean eats something, it pains and reader has to look into it? and then reader says wisdom tooth extraction? Also the fear of dentist which dean already has (shown in the episode, I found it very funny) I know it’s a weird request but I also think it would be very funny🙈

Little Details…

Request: Could I maybe request a Chubby!Reader x Dean story? She’s super sweet and kind of laid back, just going along with the boys as a research partner, but she’s also super artsy and loves to draw Dean while she researches. Maybe some sweet and soft smut, oh! And maybe he plays with her hair? :) Thanks dear!! 🌻💛

Age Is Just A Number…

Request Hello :) How do feel about an age difference, post sex one-shot? Alternate universe (no hunting), consensual, not underage but quite a big age difference (like at least 10years) where Dean is like freaking out because he’s Dean and doesn’t want to destroy the girl’s life?

Mine…

Request: Could you do a one shot where the reader lives with Sam and dean they are best friends. The reader and dean have a secret relationship and dean gets jealous of the reader and Sam hanging out all day. So dean shows the reader who she belongs too in the bedroom.

Right In Front Of You…

Request: Dean x Reader. Reader is hunting with Sam and Dean, and she is constantly getting annoyed at every single thing that Dean does. And she always acts very bad with Dean with this making dean think that she hates him. And that makes mr very sad because he has feelings for her but when Dean save her sacrificing himself from a hunting gone wrong. She stars to develop feelings for him.

Jealous Of My Demons...

Requested: Dean get’s jealous of the reader’s former boyfriend Brady, who is now posses by a demon and working as a stable boy for the horseman pestilence. Who will they work this out?

Princess...

Request: Thank you for answering my question love!💕 can I request a Dean x plus size reader where she is super shy and it drives dean crazy? Fluff, smut? I’m sorry to bother you hahah and that this sounds awkward turtle 🐢 🖤😻

My Girl...

Requested: Hola! request for dean x reader: the readers current boyfriend always puts her down and one day threatens to breakup with her if she doesn’t lose weight, even though she’s not even plus sized or anything. She constantly pushes her body to the limit to lose the weight and dean notices. it ends all fluffy and protective!dean comes out and has a “talk” with the boyfriend. side note for anyone reader this: YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL MAMA 💗🥺

Your Dean...

Request: Heyy! I'm sorry to be a bother. I was wondering if you can do a one shot where the reader is prone to severe panic attacks and her husband Dean is the only one who knows how to calm her down? She gets a really bad attack but Dean for some reason ain't there, and no one is able to help her but eventually he comes back and takes care of her. Sorry if this is a lot haha.

Safe. Warm. His...

Request: Are you taking requests? If so would you possibly write a one shot with Dean where the reader is in little space and just wants to cuddle and nuzzle her head in his neck and give him lots of little kisses and play with his hands? It’s just superrrr fluffy 🥺🥺🖤

One Hell Of A Thank You...

Request: Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where the reader is really quirky and dorky and goes on a date but turns out her date is a vampire and kidnapped her and dean saves her and falls in love with her, maybe some angst, fluff and smut 💕

Voices..

Request: Can I request? Dean x reader were she has an Eating Disorder and she’s recovering but today was an off day for her and starts to go back to her old habits and Dean notices and helps her through it.

His Girl...

Request: May I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader where the reader is very shy and she at a bar and some dirt bags are picking on her about her shortness and weight and dean stands up for her? Some smut and fluff ?? Also want to say you are a bop of a writer my love! ✨💕🥰❤️

Happily Ever After...

Request: Hey beautiful! May I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader where the reader does all the research for the boys and she is very shy,she a huge Disney fan, one day demons get in the bunker and make fun of her and dean stand up for her and confess his love for her (smut)? And after they cuddle and watch lady and tramp? Fluff and smut you are a gem my dear! 💕

His New Toy...

Request: Hai can I request dean x reader smut with breast bondage and nipple play?? plot (if there is any) is up to you ;)

His Heaven...

Request: Heyy I love your ABO fics and I have a request for you. You can always say no to this if you’re uncomfortable. I’ll completely understand and I’m very sorry. Can you do one with Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader. Where the reader is on a supply run and she gets assaulted and tortured by a monster and when she gets back to the bunker somehow, she only allows her Alpha anywhere near her and refuses help from anyone else. Dean takes care of her and helps her heal.

Something Worth Fighting For

Request: Hi love! Your writing is amazing and I was wondering if you could do a Dean x depressed!reader? Like dean finds the reader about to jump off the roof of the bunker after reading the note she left him and sam saying goodbye. He had never suspected anything cause she hid it so well. Dean saves her and tells her his feelings for her? You can also add any details you want or anything like that! There is no rush! Thank you!

Unlikely Places

Trigger Warning: Non-Con

Request: Hi! I love your work! Can you do a ABO? One where the reader is Beta, and Dean Alpha, and she’s his true mate/soulmate, but they don’t know it, and he gets possessive and goes into almost a feral rut where he tries to claim, and it almost kills her but Sam and Rowena save her and give Dean his Omega back? You come up with the plot because you’re amazing at that!! Please! I’d be forever in your debt!

I Hurt Too

Request: hi there! I have seen loads of fics and one shots where Dean is sleeping around/having a one night stand and the reader gets jealous and upset, but I was wondering if I could request one with the other way around? or maybe one where they sleep around equally? as smutty, fluffy, or angst as you want!!

What’s Left Of Me

Summary: Who know one little woman could have turned his whole world upside down? He had done so good alone for so long. Then here you come along, and ruin everything

Elf

Summary: Maybe being stuck at home alone with Dean for Christmas isn’t so bad after all.

Save Me

Summary: It’s not always easy being the hero, especially when no one is ever there to save you.

Saving Grace

Summary:  Some things are worth fighting for, even when they think they’re not. You can either roll over and die, or you can pick yourself up off the ground and go get what you want. That’s the place Y/N now finds herself in.

Living With Regret

Summary: Death can be hard to deal with in any aspect, but when you’re in the life, it's something you deal with all to often, and carry with you until it's your turn to burn.

Happy Halloween

Summary: It’s Daddy’s favorite holiday. So what’s a good girl gonna do, but let him blow off some steam after a successful hunt?

I’ll Wait For You

Summary:  Sometimes when we’re angry, hurt, or scared we say things wrong. Say things that hurt the ones we love. When Dean takes things a step to far can you find it in your heart to forgive him?

An Alpha And His Omega

Summary:  Sometimes Alpha’s aren’t the assholes, sometimes words Omegas say things that can hurt too. 

No, Screw You Sweetheart

Summary: You HATE Dean Winchester, I mean you really, REALLY hate Dean Winchester.

30 Minutes In Heaven

Summary: Your life, like many hunters before you, was cut short. You had no idea at the time the Fates that were at play in the universe were really those of dick angles and egotistical assholes with massive god complexes. And you also had no idea that they were really the reason you lost your life, and you had no idea why… Until around 30 minutes after you made it to Heaven.

The Devil And I

Pt. 1   Pt. 2   Pt. 3

Summary: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? You survived after you thought your mate had died, but how will you survive finding out he's alive, only different.

Don’t Let It Show...

Summary: She’s had enough of him, just like every other woman always seems to, and normally, he doesn’t care, but this time...this time it hurts.

Don’t Fear The Reaper

Summary: They took him from her, her knit, her king, her Dean, “cured” him, and now she’s going to get him back, she’s going to set him free.

Scars And All

Summary:  You and Dean have a strange, mutual relationship, but that’s all it is, physical. Until an almost bar fight brings some things to light that you thought you’d never hear.

I Almost Lost You

Summary:   Sometimes, monsters aren't always monsters...sometimes they're people.

Touch Starved

Summary: Sometimes when the hunt is hard, and his mind is loud, Dean just wants to be close to someone he loves, but is to scared to say it out loud. Thankfully, she knows him better than he knows himself.

I Wanna Be Your Everything

Summary:  After a huge fight, and a week away from Dean, he’s finally decided it was okay to have the ending he’d always wanted.

One More Sunset

Summary: Dean just wants the pain to go away...

Work In Progress Wednesday 

So! I’m releasing the first chapter of a new fic tomorrow so how about a preview? The first 4 and a half of 6 (or possibly 7) chapters are written so I’ll do a chapter a week. I’ll put the preview below the cut.

Rating: M

Chapters: 6 or 7

Title: In This Lifetime or the Next

Pairing: InuKag

Summary: The dreams have started. Inuyasha knows what it means, knows what comes next. His soulmate is alive and she’s ready to be found; but this time, he is not ready to find her. Because he is cursed. Because every time he finds her, she dies. Because she’s never lived more than a year after the first dream.

It shouldn’t be possible to get a demon this drunk.

“What do you mean you’re not going to look for her?” Koga asked, leaning over the bar and eyeing the woman serving drinks, again. His speech wasn’t slurred but he had no volume control and he was swaying dangerously on the flimsy barstool.

“Will you keep your eyes in your fucking skull for five minutes?” Inuyasha asked, snapping his fingers in Koga’s face to draw his attention. “Aren’t you seeing someone?”

Koga scowled and turned back to his friend, swatting at the offending hand. “She kicked me to the curb. Said I wasn’t spending enough time with her or some shit. Whatever, you didn’t answer my question.”

The bartender came over to check on them and gave Koga the stink-eye when he tried to wiggle his eyebrows at her. When she walked away, Inuyasha said, “No wonder you dragged me out tonight. And seriously, the bartender isn’t interested. She can probably spot an asshole a mile away and you’re a giant flashing sign that just screams ‘asshole.’”

Koga scowled. “Fuck off and answer my question. You’ve done this, what, like five times now?”

He sighed, trying not to think about the specifics and failing. “Seven and I can’t fucking do it again. I’d rather be alone than-”

“Oh, cry me a fuckin’ river,” Koga growled and downed the rest of his drink in a single gulp. He slammed his glass back on the bar, drawing a few angry looks from other bar goers and the bartender. “What if this time is different?” He swayed dangerously on his stool and Inuyasha tensed, waiting to see if he’d have to play catch.

“You’re really fucking drunk,” Inuyasha pointed out. “Which is amazing for a full demon. And what if it isn’t? Why the fuck would it be any different this time around?” He put a hand up for the bartender to settle their tab. The wolf had had enough.

“You think...fuck. I should call her,” Koga mused, his mind jumping topics at a speed only achievable when shit-faced.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, knowing where this was going and asking anyway. “Call who?”

“My woman.” Koga started to tilt and Inuyasha shot a hand out to steady him. He should have just let the asshole fall. Luckily, the bartender was already there, taking Inuyasha’s credit card.

“Fucking hell, wolf shit. You’re not drunk calling your god damn ex.” One hand on his drunk friend’s shoulder, Inuyasha fished two 20s out of his wallet to throw to the bartender. She earned it dealing with Koga the last few hours. She took it with a grateful smile, handing his card back.

“Good luck with him,” she said, pointing at Koga without taking her eyes off Inuyasha. “Be safe and enjoy the rest of your night.” She shot one more look at him before sauntering off to wait on other customers. He was used to the looks his silver hair and gold eyes earned him. Even among demons he was exotic, an attractive novelty with fluffy fucking ears.

“Let’s get out of here.” Inuyasha stood and dragged Koga out of the bar.

When they were safely outside, he pulled out his phone to call for a ride. Carrying an inebriated demon halfway across the city was not high on his list of things he wanted to do on a Friday night. He debated who his best option would be. Miroku was spending the night with his girlfriend, probably being gross, so that was a no-go. Jinenji would be up but the guy was way too nice to put him through drunk-Koga hell and his wife would give Inuyasha an earful for dragging him out. Ginta or Hakaku would be ignoring calls, knowing how Koga got after a break-up. Shiori would do it but he didn’t want a woman for Koga to focus his attention on. Fuck.

He was gonna have to call the fox.

He popped in his custom-made earpiece (because it’s impossible to find earbuds that fit when you have dog ears) and scrolled through his contacts until he found who he was looking for. Shippo answered and it was clear he had been informed of things that Inuyasha had not. “Yo. Lemme guess: Koga’s break-up hammered and you need a ride?”

“How am I the last to hear about him getting dumped?” He growled and scowled at Koga. It was definitely a conspiracy.

“Someone had to deal with it and you seemed like the best option.” He could practically hear the fucker smirking. Yep, they’d set him up.

“Just get your ass down here.” He gave Shippo the address, keeping one eye and ear focused on Koga. At least Shippo was close by.

Turning his full attention back to Koga, he noticed the phone in his hand a little too late.

"Listen, I’m not even mad about that anymore. How about I come over there now and we can make up. I learned this new trick with my tongue and-" Koga didn't get to finish his sentence because Inuyasha snatched his phone away.

"First, gross. Second, what'd I fucking tell you? No drunk calls to your fucking ex." He glared at Koga, contemplating murder and the best place to dump a body, until a quiet voice distracted him. The ex was still on the phone.

"Hey, anyone still there?"

Shit. 

“Hey,” Inuyasha said, holding the phone so they could hear each other more clearly. It was awkward at best with his ears on top of his head but his half-dog-demon hearing made up for it. “Sorry about the asshat, I wasn’t paying enough attention.”

“Oh, it’s alright. I was kinda expecting it anyway,” she said and sighed. “I shouldn’t have answered my phone in the first place so it’s partially my fault.”

Inuyasha growled, fighting the urge to punch Koga in the throat. The woman’s voice was soft and sweet, gently caressing his sensitive ears. The thought of Koga getting anywhere near someone who sounded so...so pure made Inuyasha’s blood boil. “Keh, not your fault he’s an asshole.” Said asshole was making grabbing motions for his phone but Inuyasha swept a leg out casually, Koga’s ass meeting the ground hard enough that Inuyasha heard his teeth clack together. “Don’t worry, I’m not giving him his phone back until he’s sobered up a bit.”

“How much has he had to drink? It takes a lot to get a demon that drunk,” she commented.

“Too much, clearly. I can’t promise he won’t try to call you again when I’m done babysitting his ass. Want me to delete your number from his phone?”

“Hmm, it’s tempting but no.” She sniffled and he wondered briefly if she’d been crying. Just because she was the one doing the dumping didn’t mean she couldn’t be upset about it. “Is he...well, really upset? It wasn’t a...a nice breakup. I kind of...um...well, I accidentally shocked him with my reiki when he wouldn’t leave and I uh, I feel kinda bad.”

Inuyasha couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that escaped his throat. “You what? I mean, I’m sure he deserved it.” Koga grumbled from the ground beside him but Inuyasha ignored him.

“Don’t laugh,” she said but he could hear the amusement in her voice and the poorly stifled giggle. “I never trained beyond keeping it in so sometimes it just...escapes.”

He shook his head and chuckled but reigned in his mirth quickly. “You, uh...are you alright?” he asked, genuinely concerned for the woman even though he’d never met her.

“Oh, yeah.” She sighed and sniffled again. “I mean, I’m as good as I can be after something like that. Thank you though, for asking. Um...what was your name?”

“Oh, uh Inuyasha.” Should he have been on the phone this long with his friend’s ex? Absolutely not. Did he care at the moment? Also absolutely not. His brain was scrambling for a way to keep her talking so he could hear more of her melodic voice. His instincts were shouting at him to comfort and protect the woman on the other end of the phone. He needed to put a stop to that and soon.

“Well uh Inuyasha, my name’s Kagome. Thank you and, um...it was nice to meet you, kind of. Oh, I mean, it was nice to meet you but we only kind of met. Not ‘it was kind of nice to meet you’...um, shit. I’m rambling, sorry.” She giggled and he could feel his ears twitching at the sound. It was fucking adorable.

The awkwardness of it all made him chuckle. “I get it. You too, Kagome.” He liked how it felt saying her name. “And if asshat bothers you again, just let me know and I’ll deal with him for you.”

She giggled again and it just wasn’t fair what it was doing to him. “Will do. I...um, I gotta go. Bye, Inuyasha.” 

“Bye, Kagome.” He was sure he was grinning like an idiot by the time he hit the end call button. Hopefully, Koga was too drunk to notice.

“Gimme my phone back, shit-breath.” Koga had managed to get himself back to his feet at some point and was making a more focused grab for his phone. His scowl was a good indicator that he’d heard a good bit of the conversion. Inuyasha didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed when Inuyasha finally let the smile fall.

“Here, fuckface.” He tossed the phone in the air, Koga catching it with ease despite his drunkenness; he was already starting to sober up.

The blare of a car horn made them both jump. “You two assholes call for a ride?” Shippo yelled out the window. “Hope you know, I charge by the minute.”

Inuyasha pushed Koga into the car, trying and failing to not think of Kagome, thoughts of his soulmate forgotten for the time being.

exile - kth

pairing: taehyung x reader (ft. namjoon x reader)

genre: angst, tae and y/n are exes

warnings: really angsty.... there are arguments and screaming matches in here... sort of toxic relationship? they're bad at communication

word count: 3.4k

summary: it took you five whole minutes to pack the entirety of your relationship with taehyung and to leave.

note: I'M BACK!! namjoon has like one line in this i'm so sorry T.T there's like zero fluff. like absolutely no fluff. and chaeyoung makes an appearance in this! it's up to you if u wanna picture park chaeyoung (rosé) as chae or son chaeyoung from twice as chae lol.

ALSO! this is based on taylor swift and bon iver's song exile on the folklore album! i do not own the song or the lyrics in any way, shape or form.

/

i can see you standing, honey

with his arms around your body

taehyung walks out of the store, scrolling through his phone. his day is just as mundane as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow. it’s been mundane since he last saw you.

his feet suddenly come to a stop when he hears your laugh ahead of him, but he shakes his head, reprimanding himself for thinking about you again. he’s about to continue his way down the street when he hears you laughing again and he looks away from his phone to see you laughing in someone else's arms.

he blinks. once, twice.

you’re there. you’re really there. he can hear his heart pounding in his ears and falling to his feet and jumping up into his throat all at once at the mere sight of you. you seem to notice him too, eyes widening before looking up at whoever you’re with. only then does taehyung register the fact that you’re not alone — you’re with someone else while he still wonders what went wrong every night before he sleeps.

you look happy. pure, genuine happiness is written in your eyes. the stranger’s arms are wrapped around you as you avoid taehyung’s eyes, continuing down the street as you listen to what your partner is saying. taehyung feels sick to his stomach.

laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

“you know, i’ve been thinking about removing my spine. i feel like it’s only holding me back!”

as you walk closer towards taehyung, he can hear the joke the other man is making.

you let out another laugh just as you walk right past him and he frowns. that is one of the worst jokes taehyung has ever heard and you laughed at it like it’s one of the best. which is misleading, considering the fact that taehyung used to tell you jokes all the time. his jokes were definitely funny. how have your standards gotten so low?

he lets out a breath he didn’t even realise he’d been holding, but this only allows him to smell your perfume, and it’s still the same perfume he’d given you on your last birthday.

your last birthday is probably the last time he really felt content. whole.

to pack us up and leave me with it

and it took you five whole minutes

holdin' all this love out here in the hall

taehyung doesn’t like to think of you because in spite of all the good memories, your last argument still ricochets in his head. withstanding the shouts and crashes is impossible when all he wants is to remember you laying in his arms, sharing a tub of ice cream.

three weeks after your birthday, you and taehyung sit at the dining table in silence, staring down intensely at your food. you haven’t fought since the week after your birthday, when you threw insults at each other just because the other couldn’t keep up with chores, or call to say they were okay. taehyung still thinks about the way you shouted at him.

-

“i don’t remember why i ever wanted to be with you!”

taehyung exhales, running a hand through his hair. “you don’t mean that, y/n. you’re just upse-”

“upset? yeah, i am upset. why shouldn’t i be? am i the one making mistakes? no! it’s you. it’s all you, taehyung!” you yell. “you have some nerve, taehyung.”

“so now it’s my fault? everything is my fault, because you’ve been the perfect girlfriend this whole time. you haven’t made a single mistake, and you have nothing to own up to, because you’re just so, so perfect, aren’t you, y/n?” taehyung is breathless and his blood is boiling.

“shut up! i don’t care. talk to me when you’re mature enough to own up to your mistakes.” you walk off and slam the bedroom door, leaving taehyung speechless. “real mature, y/n! go ahead, keep slamming the doors like it makes you any more mature.”

-

taehyung is jolted back into the present when he hears you set your fork down onto your plate. “tae, are you going to finish that? i’m about to wash the dishes,” you speak quietly, standing up to go to the kitchen. “i’ll wash it myself,” he replies, and he watches you enter the kitchen without a word.

he follows you in after a few minutes, where you’ve just finished washing your own dishes. instead of leaving, you lean against the island counter and he looks back at you. “i think we need to talk, tae.”

taehyung lets out a low chuckle as he looks down at the sink. “go ahead,” he’d already seen this coming, but now that it’s here, he doesn’t know how to act.

you’re silent. only when taehyung faces you do you speak. “i think we should break up,” you start. “i know,” he replies. “is this okay with you?” you reach out for his hand but he runs it through his hair before you get the chance to.

“y/n, you don’t have to stay if you’re not happy. regardless if i’m okay with it or not, i can’t just ask you to stay for my sake.” he sighs. he’s handling this better than he thought.

“thank you, taehyung.” you’re crying, but you wipe away your tears before they can fall. “i’ll… i’ll go soon.” you don’t look at him because you if you do, you know you’ll be crying your eyes out and convincing yourself to stay.

taehyung sits on the couch and stares straight ahead at the television screen, which is playing an action movie he has no intention to pay any mind to. all he can focus on is the sound of you shuffling around behind him, packing everything you own into your suitcase. he thinks about how easy it is for you to pack up the entirety of your relationship in a few minutes.

“tae?” you call out, standing by the door. his heart shatters when he realizes this is probably the last time he’ll see you in a long time. he gets off the couch and takes in your face, capturing your visage into his memory one last time. when you reach out for his hand, he doesn’t avoid it again. he won’t be able to do this again.

“i love you,” he whispers. “i love you too,” you look down at your intertwined hands before walking out and closing the door, leaving all the love behind with taehyung.

if you’ve thought about him since then, you won’t admit it, and he doesn’t know it.

i think i've seen this film before

and i didn't like the ending

taehyung refuses to think about the breakup again. he hates the way it ended.

you're not my homeland anymore

so what am i defending now?

taehyung watches you walk farther and farther away from him, and all he wants to do is reach out for you. he wants to rip you away from that stranger and feel you in his arms again, feel your warm hand in his.

but you’re not his anymore, and he let you go all those months ago. he has no reason to feel this way. the green eyed monster shouldn’t be clawing away at his rational thoughts, yet still taehyung’s feet are begging to let him run after you and make you his again. he wants to return things back to the way they were, to the pure love you had for each other.

he has no reason to feel this way.

you were my town, now i'm in exile, seein' you out

when did things change? you were his home and his heart. it’s been months and he still doesn’t understand.

i can see you starin', honey

like he's just your understudy

you’re laughing at another one of namjoon’s jokes when you feel someone’s eyes on you, their stare heavy. when you look ahead, it’s taehyung. the same taehyung who you left alone in his apartment all those months ago. the same taehyung you laid with in bed every night. the same taehyung whose shirt you spilt coffee all over, and the same taehyung you met at the museum all those years ago.

it’s taehyung.

your eyes widen and you turn away as quicker than you can blink, muttering underneath your breath. “it’s my ex.” namjoon’s grip around you tightens. sneaking a glance at taehyung again, you can see how his eyes are unblinking. it’s not written on his face or in his body language, but from his eyes alone you can already tell how he feels about namjoon.

there is nothing violent or scary about his stare, but it’s almost arrogant. he looks at namjoon like he’s just a temporary replacement despite the fact that you both know you’re never getting back together.

like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

taehyung isn’t a violent person. he’s the type of person to calmly talk things out, the type of person to break up a fight. he’d never even hurt a fly. once, you watched as he picked up a spider and let it crawl across the balcony railing while you shrieked from inside.

so it’s shocking when you watch as his hands twitch and his jaw clenches. taehyung’s definitely protective, but what does he have to protect now? why does he look like he’s about to pummel namjoon into the ground? he agreed to let you go.

second, third, and hundredth chances

balancin' on breaking branches

you gave him so many chances. so many opportunities to apologize.

but did he? no.

those eyes add insult to injury

he probably thinks you got over him quicker than you did. in fact, it took you weeks that bled into months to get over him. there were numerous occasions where you considered knocking on his door and taking it all back, but you never could. it drained you emotionally just thinking about it.

“he made you so happy, y/n,” chaeyoung says as she tries to shake you out of your trance. “just text him or something.” giving up, she flops down next to you on the bed, snatching the tub of ice cream out of your hands.

you groan, shoving your face deeper into the pillow. “he hurt me so bad, chae. i don’t know if i can just forget about it all just to go back to him,” you sit up and let her feed a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.

“you don’t have to date him again, dummy. it’d still be a good idea for you to get some closure at the very least, right?” you hate how chaeyoung is always right, especially when it comes to these situations. “i don’t want closure.” you state grumpily. “i’m just gonna stay here with you every day and cry about how much i miss him.”

“if you’re gonna do that at least buy your own ice cream…” she hums, and you grin at her before eating another spoonful.

you don’t like the way he’s looking at namjoon. it only rubs in the fact that he’s being jealous when he has no right to be.

it’s completely unfair.

i'm not your problem anymore

so who am i offending now?

before you broke up, he was always complaining about the little things you would or wouldn’t do, nitpicking at the simplest of details. in time, you got used to his nagging and he got used to your habits. even now, in your head, you still hear his voice reminding you to do this and not to do that.

his friends didn’t seem to like you all that much, so you tended to stay home whenever taehyung invited you to spend the night out with his friends. although he’d always frowned whenever you turned him down, he’d brush it off and leave you alone to your sleepless nights waiting up for him.

“text me next time if you’re coming home late, okay?” you whisper as you look at his fluttering eyelashes under the covers.

“i will,” he mumbles sleepily before drifting off, arms tightly wrapped around you.

he never remembered to text you.

it’s foolish of him to look at you like that. he looks agitated and offended and sad all at once but what could you do? he wasn’t yours and you weren’t his to take care of anymore.

i think i've seen this film before

so i'm leaving out the side door

you hate the way he’s making you feel in only a few short seconds, so you look up at namjoon again and laugh at whatever joke he’s making again. it took you this long to get over taehyung and you weren’t going to throw it all away just because you’ve seen him again.

so step right out, there is no amount

of crying i can do for you

when taehyung arrives home, the first thing he does when he gets into his bed is cry. he’s always been alarmingly good at suppressing his emotions but seeing you again after so long has taken its toll on him.

he hasn’t cried like this in a while, but it hurts just as much as the last time.

-

two hours later, taehyung stares up at the ceiling when he suddenly feels the urge to text you. before he knows it, his fingers are typing away uncontrollably and pressing the send button. instead of reading what he sent you, he sets his phone down on his bedside table and falls asleep.

when you arrive home that night, you check your notifications and choke on your spit when you see that taehyung has sent you a message. “chae,” you call out, throwing yourself onto the couch. humming, she comes out of her room. “taehyung texted me.”

her eyes bulge out as she throws herself onto you and pulls your phone out of your grasp. “no way!” she yells, standing up and raising her hands up to her mouth. “you’re kidding me!”

“don’t get too excited!” you laugh, sitting up straight. “he just wants to meet for coffee. it’s no big deal!”

“no big deal? y/n, you haven’t spoken since you broke up!” she lets out a breath, placing her hands on her hips. “he has some god-level timing. right when you and namjoon start going out? unbelievable.”

you reach for your phone, almost tumbling off the couch when chaeyoung pretends she's not returning it to you. begrudgingly sighing, she throws the phone into your lap and cuddles into your side and continues her earlier humming. "it doesn't matter if namjoon asked me out or not. there's going to be nothing romantic about our meetup. we're just gonna talk about whatever he wants to talk about and that's it!" you decide. if you keep repeating it to yourself in your head like a mantra you might start to believe it.

"isn't it strange though? how he's texting you out of nowhere after months and months? he's thinking about you, y/n!" chaeyoung giggles.

"well," you start. "i did see him earlier today while i was out on my date with namjoon…" chaeyoung whips her head around to look at you, shock written all over her face. "y/n, you're joking," squealing, she flails her legs around giddily. "you guys are meant to be. nsmjoon won't mind. he'll understand when he sees you two together."

"chae!" you whine. it would be devastating to break namjoon's heart after how good he's been to you. "i can't break his heart like that, he's done nothing wrong! he's a perfectly sweet guy and he really does care about me."

"are we talking about taehyung or namjoon?" chaeyoung teases, a smirk on her lips.

"chae…" you groan.

"fine, fine! i'll stop. but you have to meet him for that coffee. it's going to be the best coffee meeting you'll ever have in your life. i can feel it in my bones."

you hate how you hope she's right.

-

never being the patient type, your leg bounces restlessly as you wait for taehyung at your table. the coffees you bought for the two of you are still steaming hot when you look up to the sound of the door bells jingling and lock eyes with taehyung, who gives you a sheepish smile.

"hey," he starts. sliding into the chair opposite you. "you didn't have to get me this," he motions toward the coffee.

pushing his cup closer towards him, you shake your head, a tight-lipped smile plastered across your face. "it's nothing," you reply. "so why did you want to meet me here?"

unbeknownst to namjoon, you didn't cancel your plans with him because you had a supposed dentist appointment. if you told him you were going to meet taehyung he surely would've stood guard outside your door to prevent you from leaving while chae would lecture him on letting you make your own decisions.

it was easier this way.

"i just figured we haven't talked in a while. what's up with you? how's it going?" he says. you narrow your eyes at him and take a sip of your coffee. "what reason do we have to talk? we're not in each other's lives anymore." you decide. setting down your cup, your fingers lightly drum against the table, and you watch as his face drops and his eyebrows furrow.

"maybe if you didn't walk out on us we'd still be in each other's lives," he mutters. "w-what?" you gasp, taken aback. "you let me go! i asked you and you said it was fine. would you rather have us both unhappy but still in a relationship?"

leaning back, he sighs. "i was happy, y/n. you-"

"but not happy enough! not the natural happiness that wasn't always on the edge of turning sour. didn't you notice, taehyung? all this time, we've always walked a very thin line." you rant, your feelings getting the best of you. "i didn't and i don't want you to settle for the bare minimum, lo- taehyung." your heart stutters when you almost let his old pet name slip, his eyes meeting yours, unblinking.

taehyung stares at you for a moment. "and how did you know, y/n? that i wasn't happy? that i wasn't content or whole in our relationship?" you pause, throat constricting. "yea, i let you go. but i didn't want to. not for a single second did i ever consider willingly letting you slip away from me. but what could i do? you still left, i had to let you because i knew you'd be happier. but ypu, you didn't even hear me out, and you never gave a warning sign."

"i gave so many signs!" you protest. "i-"

"and i was just supposed to catch on? you couldn't even say it straight to my face?" he's unrelenting, eyes burning holes into your soul. he's angry and he's hurting and you know it's partially your fault. maybe even wholly. "all this time, i never learned to read your mind." he scoffs.

"yea, i guess you never learned to read my mind. and i'm sorry i expected that much from you! but you never turned things around. you didn't try to figure out what was going wrong and if we could mend it." you sputter, and you feel your cheeks starting to heat up.

"i'm saying! you never gave a warning sign. what could i do?" you've never seen taehyung look so small and defeated, and your heart aches in your chest. all you want to do is take him into your arms and tell him everything will be alright.

yet you can't. maybe all those months ago you could've. and you thought you had moved on and you thought he had too, but it's become glaringly obvious that none of you have.

"tae…" his eyes widen and he blinks at you. "taehyung! taehyung. i should go…" you murmur. taking his hand, you study the lines on his palm and the divots on his knuckles and let out a watery smile.

"you always do," he replicates your smile and watches as you stand up. "i love you."

"i love you too," you whisper.

when you walk away, you half expect him to chase after you and beg for you to stay, but you know it's too selfish of you to want it.

when you walk away, he half expects you to turn around like they always do in the movies, but he knows your pride always gets the best of you.

you've both seen this film before, and neither of you liked the ending.

/

note: very unedited and also this was a bitch to re-stylize on tumblr. thank you very much for reading! like or reblog if you enjoyed it and feel free to tell me what u think :) my asks and my dms are always open!

Riverdale 5x03 Recap

Jellybean was born and raised in Riverdale though?? She only moved to Ohio after her mom left FP

Good on FP for doing what’s best for his daughter but probably should have told Alice beforehand that you’re skipping town

We’re ending this era of Riverdale as it began with Tom Keller as Sheriff. Hope he has a scene with his son tonight!

Jughead saying those kids almost looked innocent asleep was pretty messed up of him. 1) those are clearly homeless kids having to sleep in a fucking gym and 2) as bad as the voyeur vids were they still pale in comparison to the crimes that high school kids have been involved in over the years

Oooh man that Luke Perry is just brutal

It’s crazy to think of how far the show has come since that first scene of Cheryl and Jason Blossom in all white heading down to the river

Alice might be the most tragic living character on Riverdale, her life has just been wrecked over and over and over

It’s awful how realistic the army recruitment booth inside the school is. The Saved by the Bell reboot had a great joke about military recruitment of teens (it’s a much better show than Riverdale and I highly recommend it and it’s already been renewed for S2)

It’s nice that they brought Weatherbee back for the final high school eps

LOL at the Red Circle shade

The yearbook as a device to look back at some of the show’s history is clever. Also reveals how clearly chapter 79 which was supposed to be the S4 finale was also being written as a possible series finale

It’s very odd that Archie’s poor grades of all things are what the writers just to be realistic about. Nice of Weatherbee to let Archie walk with his friends though

Ladies and Gentlemen that could possibly be the last Varchie sex scene we ever see

Considering the US only abolished conscription after the Vietnam war, I don’t think those 4 students back in 1945 had much of a choice in joining the army. Although they lucked out with the timing since the war with Japan would end within months while they were still in basic training

Not Archie lying to both Jughead and Veronica about his post high school plans

FP telling Jughead he’s old enough to be on his own is rich considering Jughead was basically homeless and on his own in S1

Good on Cheryl for getting her red robe

Finally Tom Keller gets a scene with his son!

Omfg I can’t handle this Archie cover of Green Day

Yaas Penelope lurking in the bushes. I’m gonna miss that Queen, hope she gets out of jail soon enough

RIP Falice. It will never cease to amaze me that right when the obstacles that should have stopped Bughead such as their parents being in a relationship and their shared half-brother are swept away that Bughead is being broken up

Well good bye for now and maybe forever FP Jones. You were the best of the surviving fathers which is admittedly a hell of a low bar

Pop’s is rightfully restored to Pop Tate

Kevin mentioning Josie and the Pussycats threw me

I guess from now on we’ll always see Jughead without that stupid hat, that’s weird

These grad scenes have been surprisingly poignant but they fall flat when they include the wider group. How many lines have Kevin, Fangs, Reggie, and Sweetpea even had lately? Has Kevin done anything of note since Hedwig? We’re a long way from when he was Betty’s best friend. And what has Reggie been up to? I noticed his dad wasn’t at grad, is that because he’s dead? Is there ever gonna be a follow up on Reggie smashing his dad’s car?

Don’t have a great feeling about this vow

Archie sure knows how to kill the mood. The worst thing about Archie’s speech is its accuracy. The US military really does offer a path to a middle class existence especially for kids with no other options. The life outcomes for people without high school degrees are grim and Archie really is grasping the last, best way to try and turn around his life

This Choni breakup is so sad 

The CW is wildin out letting Betty take off her bra for sex. What a bizarre transition from tearful confession to sex. Perhaps the last Bughead sex scene we’ll ever see

Just realized that Vegas will very likely be dead by the time we pick back up in 7 years

These scenes would have more impact if the show had focused on the Archie/Jughead and Veronica/Betty friendship

Wow bringing the old car out for one last drive

These flashbacks are sad, especially the Luke Perry one

God I hope Nana Rose survives the 7 year gap

Jesus Christ, so Jughead had a home he could have stayed in but decided to squat at Archie’s instead??

Poor Jughead being the only one to keep the vow

Well this really is the end of an era. Riverdale will never be the same after this episode. From the promos we know that Veronica is married to a controlling wall street douche, Archie is wounded overseas, Betty is an FBI agent, and Jughead a writer. The crisis that brings them all back is Hiram dissolving the town of Riverdale for his nefarious ends

Veronica marrying a man who shares some traits with Hiram is not surprising though the fact that she’s married is interesting, both in that there’s no way that marriage will last and in how her husband is jealous of her past with Archie, it’s an easy way to start heading towards Varchie again if the writers choose. There’s no way that Betty would be get in to the FBI with a serial killer father and half brother but we’ll see what new killer the writers can come up with. It looks like Jughead is a tortured artist. I appreciate the costume designers for making Archie’s military uniform so retro that it looks like he’s being shipped off to Korea to stop it going the way of Red China 

Looking back it’s extremely bizarre that they did what they did with Barchie. It really served no purpose since they all would have gone their separate ways anyways

Well looks like Cheryl hasn’t been successful in thwarting Hiram. I would imagine that much of Veronica’s story after the time gap is her wrestling with whether to take on her father and to claim the Lodge legacy for herself once and for all. Archie had always been her guiding light in that regard and we’ll see if can play that role in the future

This 7 year gap brings the characters ages up to 25 which is much closer to the actor’s actual ages which will help in that regard. But time jumps are tricky and 7 years is quite a gap, double the length of time that these first 79 eps have lasted. Sadly, Riverdale was renewed for a 6th season but realistically the bulk of the series has now passed and whatever adventures the gang gets up to as adults will get far less time dedicated to them. Some sort of time jump was probably always necessary if the show lasted as long as it had but I’m skeptical that Riverdale can pull it off. Until next week Riverdalers

He tells Y/N he kissed a girl when he was drunk- PJM Drabble Pt.2

Request: can u do a part 2 of He tells Y/N he kissed a girl when he was drunk plsss🥺 i love your writing so much

Warnings: slight angst

Author’s Note: thank you! I love writing for you guys 🥺 hope you like it, I did it with a happy ending this time. Too much angst for me lol. Enjoy!!

Pt.1 Pt.2

————

————

He was devastated to say the least.

A month had gone by since your breakup and it was killing him. The boys had demanded an explanation for his sloppy dance moves, cold expressions and aloof attitude. They were concern and extremely worried. They hadn’t seen you around lately and, mostly Yoongi, had suspected that something was not right between the both of you-“I cheated. Remember the night we went out to have some drinks because of the award? I might have drunk too much and...I made out with another girl. I returned home and blurted it out.”

Namjoon was the first one to react, of course, telling him he had been irresponsible and irrational. Jimin knew it, had known it since he left the apartment you both shared, and blamed himself for it daily. The next one to scold him was Min Yoongi, surprisingly. He was a little bit more subtle but straightforward anyways-“Y/N did everything for you, Jimin-ah. Why?”

Jimin had asked himself that question too. He hadn’t found a proper answer yet, and he feared he never would. Did he really wanted to kiss another person so desperately? Either way, he had lost and he doubted you’d give him a second chance-“I don’t know...I wish I had an answer to that.”

“I’ve talked to her”-Taehyung added-“She’s doing well. She told me she had a hard time getting over you and that maybe she’s rethinking everything. Maybe you should talk to her, Jimin-ah.”

A slight punge of hope punctured his chest as he fished for his phone, browsing through his contacts until he stopped on your name. The letter shone brightly on his screen while he analyzed his movements, every breath he took calculated and cold. Should he call you? He opted for the safer choice and decided that sending you a message would be more appropiate.

Your screen flashed automatically when Jimin’s text arrived. His name was still saved with a cute heart and a pig since both loved eating so much. Even though you had made it your priority to forget him, Jimin was always stuck in your constant daydream. You though about him and his stupidly charming smile or his adorable way of taking care of you. He had loved showing you off to the other members, bragging about how awesome you were and how flawless you looked every second of every day.

You still loved him, of course.

But your pride was just so damn big that you had buried those feelings deep within your soul. Until now.

Hello, Y/N. How’s everything going?

Hi, Jimin. Everything’s fine, hbu?

Your finger pads began sweating as you watched how his contact name had ‘typing’ underneath. You tried to distract yourself by scrolling through other social media but, as soon as he finished the text, you clicked on it.

Everything’s fine too. I was wondering if we could talk. I know we ended our relationship a while ago now but I’d like for us to have a proper chance to talk things through. I won’t insist if you don’t want to...I just thought it’d be nice.

You hesitated, thumbs fidgeting over each other while trying to form a coherent response in your head. What should you say? You knew that if you turned him down, he wouldn’t bug you anymore. At first, it sounded nice to finally forget about Park Jimin for once but, after some serious consideration, you weren’t sure if that’s what you’d prefer.

I guess we can grab a coffe someday.

His response came in right away.

Great! How about tomorrow?

Yeah, I’m free. Same place at 17 O’Clock?

Same place at 17 O’Clock.

()

The beige coat hung lossely from your shoulders as you warmed up your freezing hands with some leather gloves you had purchased some month ago. You knew Korea’s winter could be extremely cold, but you had underestimated the temperature just a little bit. It was too late to realize, though, and the chilling wind made nothing to sooth your stoic limbs.

A small smile crossed your lips as the little coffe shop you had visited so much with Jimin suddenly appeared. It was as cozy as it had been before; snuggled in between two giant building that doubled it in height. The twin windows on either side of the main door radiated a yellow-ish light from within inviting you to step in, order a warm cappuccino and relax from the heavy thoughts that had been running through your mind the whole day.

Jimin was there when you gathered up enough courage to jump inside the shop. He had booked your usual spot further into the room, with enough lightning to see each other’s features but also dim to have that intimacy that you’d only felt with him. Something in your stomach sprung when his eyes spotted yours from miles away. He waved his hand slightly while a silly smile accompanied his invitation. You felt clumsy all of a sudden, as if your legs had forgotten how to properly walk, and you stumbled through some empty chair before finally plopping down in front of him.

You noticed he had ordered your usual drink and a fuzzy feeling took over you senses when you realized how well he knew you-“You look beautiful”

You stiffened.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just...I didn’t mean to be disrespectful-”-he mumbled.

“Don’t worry”-you chirped in-“You weren’t. You look great too. How’re the boys doing?”

“They’re as annoying as ever”-he chuckled-“They miss you, though. I miss you...”

“I miss them too”-you-“I miss you too.”

Jimin couldn’t believe what he heard but he played it cool, he needed to know your emotions for sure. The date went on; treats being bought, laughs being shared and memories being built once again. You couldn’t believe how much you had missed being with Jimin and he for sure couldn’t get a grasp on it too.

“I think we should go”-he laughed-“The lady over there has been glaring at us for more than ten minutes straight. I think she might want to kick us out.”

“I noticed her too!”-you exclaimed as you hanged your purse over you shoulder-“I though I was being paranoic.”

Although you knew you needed to part your own ways, you just wanted to stay a little longer with him. You wanted to freeze time just a while longer to appreciate properly the man by your side. His freshly dyed hair glinting under the fading sunlight accompanying that faint pink blush from the day’s cold breeze and his beautiful smile. Everything about him was so delicate yet sharp and you just could describe the image as an absubrd contradiction.

A paradox.

“Do you have more time?”-you blurted out-“Maybe we can go for a walk, there’s a park nearby.”

He checked his phone-not really looking for anything since he would have complied anyways-and nodded afterwards. The walk towards the park was quiet yet it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. The streets were busy, as usual, but Jimin made it feel as if the both of you were the only ones on Earth.

Jimin guided you through and archway made by still trees intertwining their branches like the hands of young lovers. His pale hand was dangling by his side, urging you to take it on your own, but you weren’t sure.

Not until he spoke.

“I can’t live without you, Y/N”-he mumbled-“I tried to but it’s impossible. I’m lost without you and I can’t fathom the image of you being with someone else. It’s selfish, I know. It’s selfish because I want to see you happy. You deserve to be happy. But I want to be the one whose responsible of it. I want to be blessed with that opportunity. Please, I know I’ve let you down but I promise I’ll work to be the best for you. I love you.”

His eyes became watery mid confession but you found it endearing rather than annoying. How his voice cracked or how his lip shivered contributed to his purity and honesty, so the uncertainty of being lied to wasn’t even there.

“I...”-your voice came out as a soft yet firm echo-“I can live without you.”

Jimin’s eyes widened. His heart cracked and his hopes vanished from his insecure soul. Had he caused you so much pain?

“Y/N please don’t-”

“I can live without you, Park Jimin”-you continued-“But I don’t want to. The time we weren’t together gave me space to think things through. I became a whole new person; I could indeed get to know me better. I’ve always been so devoted to other, never being true to myself and my desires. This time I had to just be with me made me realize I can be selfish and it doesn’t need to be entirely wrong. Because right now, I want to kiss you and I want to be with you. I want to be selfish and let my pride fall for once. Because I love you and you make me happy and I deserve to be happy.”

“Then be selfish”-he sighed-“An fucking kiss me.”

His lips were soft-softer than you remembered-like falling petals of a blossoming rose or shining clouds on a sunny winter day. They reminded you of warmth and comfort. His limbs found heir way to your waist, tugging you closer to his chest. Your pressed one palm over his cheek while the other tangled itself in his soft locks.

You never wanted to let go.

He never wanted to let go.

Not again.

Not anymore.

Catching Up

Archer stared into the steaming mug, his spoon clinking against its sides as he absentmindedly stirred the sugar in his coffee. 

“Honey, I think it’s mixed,” Jodi teased as she sat down across from him with two cups, taking a sip from one while setting the other in front of the empty chair to the side of them. “Where’s your head? You seem lost in thought.”

The man shrugged as he finally set his spoon aside & brought the cup to his lips. He wasn’t sure he was ready to share too much with anyone, even his oldest & dearest friend. Around the same time his last relationship had fizzled out, he met someone new, someone he was instantly attracted to & intrigued by. Learning from his past mistakes, he’d told himself not to jump in too quickly so they’d started an innocent friendship. Still he couldn’t help it when his mind wandered to the handsome, auburn haired man with the soft voice.

“The kids are with Tobias this week, right?” Jodi asked when she realized she wasn’t getting anymore out of her best friend. She waited for his nod before continuing. “Maybe we can set a play date for the boys this weekend after they get home. How’s that sound?”

Just two months after Archer had Tiberius, Jodi & Ronan had welcomed their own son Rory into the world. The now one year old had definitely softened the young woman a bit & Archer loved have another parent friend in his life. It was also nice to see how happy having her own little family made her.

“Yeah, for sure. We can do that,” Archer nodded with a smile.

“What are we talking about?” Levi asked as he pulled out the empty chair & took his seat. He immediately reached for the sugar & turned it upside down into the coffee Jodi had gotten for him.

“Baby play dates. Wanna come? You’d fit right in,” Jodi teased.

Archer’s ocean blue eyes just stared at the long stream of sugar. “That’s disgusting. You know that, right? There’s more sugar than coffee in that cup.”

“No to the smelly diaper date & thanks, dad. The extra sugar gives me even more energy though,” Levi laughed. He glanced around the table before reaching across it to take the spoon that Archer had used to stir the liquid in his own cup.

After their last failed attempt at a romantic relationship, Archer & Levi had rather easily fallen back into their friendship. The three of them were now as close as ever before. It felt right & Archer found their bond invaluable. Of course he’d been heartbroken when Levi revealed he didn’t think he could handle it after they found out Archer’s baby belonged to Tobias & that Archer would be staying on as partial owner of Tobias’s record label, they both were, but it quickly became apparent that it was best for everyone this way. Levi then continued to date around as he had before, loving the freedom & fun-loving lifestyle he enjoyed, while Archer found his new normal as the divorced parent of two.

“I think Ruben has a new boyfriend. I saw some guy picking him up from work yesterday,” Levi told them as he sipped his coffee.

“Good for him.” Archer couldn’t hide how disinterested he was.

Jodi sat back in her chair, grinning over the white cup that she held between both hands in front of her face. “Salty.”

“Right?” Levi laughed. “I was simply sharing some gossip. Finally someone knew something before Jodi so I thought it’d be a win.”

“Oh, I’m interested. What’s the new guy look like? Is he hotter than...?” She motioned across the table, whispering the last part.

Archer rolled his eyes. “I meant that sincerely. Good for him. I don’t have anything against him. I just honestly don’t care.”

While the breakup with Ruben hadn’t been pleasant, it didn’t end on the worst of terms either. He’d wanted more than Archer had been willing to give so ending it when they did had been necessary. They were cordial when they saw each other, which happened from time to time since Ruben was still a dance instructor at Owen’s studio. For the most part, they hadn’t continued to talk or pursue a friendship though.

“Whatever. You can tell me later, Levi. My turn.” She cleared her throat dramatically as she turned toward him. “I heard a certain blond hair, blue eyed boy that we know...” She shot a look across at Archer, her perfectly groomed brow raised. “Has been hanging around the music shop in town, even when he’s not there on business.”

Archer could feel the heat quickly rise to his cheeks, his own gaze falling into his half drained cup of coffee. “I should get a refill.”

“Wait, the music shop? I know the people who own that now, the Black siblings. You’re not...” Levi chuckled, pausing as he tried to read Archer’s face. His friend’s embarrassment was blatantly obvious on his blushing face. “There’s no way you’re fucking Vince.”

“I’m not,” he quickly confirmed, finally lifting his eyes to look between his friends. “But why would you say it like that? We’re friends. They do promotions for Mercury artists & I’ve always loved music. Why’s it so surprising that I’d be there?”

“Because you’re there to flirt with the hot, young owner,” Jodi giggled. “Tell us more about your friend Vince.”

“No, stop,” Levi cut in to answer his question seriously. “You’re shitting me, right? I can’t believe he’d even be friends with you, especially if people around town are talking about it.”

“Hey...” Archer scoffed.

“Rude,” Jodi snapped at the same time.

“Not like that.” Levi rolled his eyes & shook his head. “I know him because he’s best friends with Shane. You know... Shane, my ex, the one who hates you & I with a deep & passionate rage.”

“To be fair, you were fucking each other behind his back while you were in a relationship with him,” Jodi reminded him smugly.

“I never said it wasn’t deserved.”