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kjack89 · 2 years

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Into the Dark

For @themiserablesmonth Day 16: Dark.

Canon era, on the barricades, Les Amis with a whiff of implied E/R. CW: death mentions, referenced canonical character death.

Read on AO3.

The darkest hour of the night was the time for truth, all the more so when it was filled with men who all but knew that certain death awaited them the next day. It was little surprise, then, that the topic of muted conversation had long since strayed from the cheerful, idle chatter shared among friends to whispered secrets spoken more to the night sky than to each other.

Joly shifted from where he lay next to Bossuet, glancing at Combeferre. “Combeferre?”

“Hm?” Combeferre said.

“Do you believe in Heaven?” Joly asked, drawing an idle finger against the wood grain of what may have been a table, or a chair, before it was broken apart and made part of the barricade. “Or Hell, I suppose, if you take at face value the Church’s claim that one cannot exist without the other?”

Combeferre stared up at the sky, his brow furrowing slightly. “Honestly, prior to this evening, I had never given it much thought.” He made a small noise that might have been a disparaging laugh, aimed mostly at himself. “A young man’s folly, I’m certain.” He shrugged. “I am not one to dismiss any possibility, and I suppose when considering the vast array of religions that share belief in some kind of afterlife, it seems unreasonable to assume that all of them are incorrect.”

On his other side, Feuilly chuckled lightly. “That’s a diplomatic answer.”

“Well, Jehan is not here to give the poetic one,” Combeferre said quietly.

At the mention of Prouvaire, all the men assembled fell silent. After a long moment, Bahorel spoke, his voice a quiet rumble. “I suppose that is answer enough for me.”

“What is?”

“Jehan,” Bahorel said simply. “I find myself not yet ready to believe that I will never see him again.”

Bossuet propped himself up, his expression unusually grave. “I would wager you are not alone in that thought.”

Again Feuilly chuckled, though it was a little gentler this time. “I should think not,” he said. “He still owes me three sous.”

Bahorel laughed as well. “He owes me five.”

Combeferre looked as though he was about to say more, but instead, he looked past Bossuet, half-sitting up. “Ah, Enjolras, join us, would you?”

In an instant, all the men’s attention was on the blond man who looked very much like he had not intended on drawing their attention. “I shouldn’t,” Enjolras said tiredly. “There is much left to do before dawn.”

Combeferre frowned slightly and sat all the way up. “My friend,” he said quietly, “on any other night I might let you continue as you have been, but it is too dark now for an attack, and this very well may be your last chance to take a reprieve.”

For a moment, Enjolras looked torn, though he quickly shook his head. “Or else I should use the lack of cannon fire to take stock of our supplies,” he said, a note of finality in his voice. “That is reprieve enough for me.”

He turned to make his way back to whatever it was he had been doing, though he paused when Bossuet asked, his voice quiet but clear, “Answer one question for us at least: Do you believe in Heaven?”

Enjolras frowned slightly. “I believe it is our duty to bring about Heaven on Earth, a utopia for the future, but I do not know that when we die, we reach that utopia.”

It was nearly as diplomatic an answer as Combeferre’s had been, but none seemed to make a jest of it as they had before. “Do you believe in Hell?” Feuilly asked softly.

This time, it took Enjolras a moment before he answered. “Evil men and good men experience joy and suffer in equal measure during their lives,” he said finally. “I see little reason why anything after that should be differentiated.”

“What do you believe then?” Joly asked. “That we simply cease to be?”

Enjolras shook his head before admitting, “I do not know. Perhaps all that we have waiting for us is nothingness, emptiness, an eternity of darkness.”

“That is a depressing thought,” Bahorel muttered, and Enjolras gave him a sharp look.

“It is death. I am not entirely certain it is meant to be reassuring.” He paused before straightening his shoulders, his voice commanding as he told them, “Comrades, I do not condemn you for spending your night dreaming of what could be. But I implore you, focus not so much on what could be that you neglect to remember that what matters less is what happens after we die, and far more what we are able to achieve through our deaths.”

With that, he finally did leave, picking his way across the barricade toward the dilapidated remainder of the entrance to the Corinthe. He paused only when he heard Combeferre call softly after him, “Enjolras.”

Enjolras sighed, running a tired hand across his face as he turned to glance at Combeferre. “I am sorry I did not have more encouraging words for them, but I could not bring myself to lie, not now.”

Combeferre shook his head. “No, that is not—” He broke off with a sigh. “You really should rest.”

“I cannot,” Enjolras said simply.

Combeferre reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “The die has been cast, my friend,” he said bracingly. “There is no more for us to do this night, save to wait for dawn.”

Enjolras managed a small smile. “I never was very good at waiting.”

“I know.”

Enjolras sighed, glancing over his shoulder. “Perhaps I will rejoin you later. For now, I must—” He broke off, his expression unreadable. “There is something that requires my attention.”

Combeferre knew there was but one thing he could have been headed in this direction to check on, and he glanced up at the darkened window of the Corinthe. “I am certain he sleeps still, unharmed and unaware.”

Enjolras did not look surprised that Combeferre had been so quick to determine his true purpose. “Yes,” he said quietly. “As am I. But I will still find no rest until I verify.”

There were a great many things Combeferre wished to say to that, but he knew that now was not the time, and this was hardly the place. “Then do what you must,” he said instead. “But find us again after.”

Enjolras nodded and Combeferre let him go, watching him for a long moment before returning to their friends, whose conversation had mostly turned to other things. He lay down again near Joly, who looked over at him. “I see you were unsuccessful in convincing Enjolras to return to our conversation.”

Combeferre just shook his head. “He will find no respite until he has ensured everyone is safe and accounted for, at least until morning.”

Joly nodded slowly. “What do you think of his answer?” he asked, and when Combeferre frowned at him, he added, “Regarding the afterlife, or lack thereof?”

“Truthfully?” Combeferre said quietly. “After all we have done and all we have seen, and all we will likely do and see before the end, darkness begins to sound remarkably like peace.”

Joly made a face. “Do you not think it would be lonely, to spend an eternity in darkness, in emptiness?” he pressed.

Combeferre thought of the look on Enjolras’s face when he had spoken of his remaining task, and he shook his head slowly. “If there is but one thing that I am certain of, it is that Enjolras would not face that dark alone,” he said softly. “There is one who I suspect would follow him no matter what came next, be it Heaven, Hell, or an infinite darkness.”

He did not name him, but he did not need to. “Yes,” Joly said, equally quiet. “I suspect in that at least, you are correct.” He bit off a dry laugh and shook his head once more. “Odd that this thought would comfort, here at the end of all things.”

“Not the end, Joly,” Combeferre reminded him, looking again up at the night sky, so dark that not even the stars were visible. “Not yet.”

#exr #enjolras x grantaire #enjoltaire #enjolras #combeferre #joly #bossuet #bahorel #feuilly #fanfiction #les miserables #canon era #if you are asking yourself how many time i can write essentially the same conversation between combeferre and enjolras #the limit clearly does not exist #leave me alone i'm just obsessed with the idea of it #ANYWAY #late night conversations about death and all her friends #death mention cw #major character death cw

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unfoundhoney · 3 years

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a sister’s sacrifice ; part three ↠

↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst just angst

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;

↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat @bestioe @junoblad3 @machiebach @ok-honey

when considering the deaths of the people on the dream smp server, yours is the hardest

schlatt was detested by all when he’d died

few people still truly cared for wilbur when he met his end; the man he once was was long gone by then

but you

you never changed

you were a constant for so many & immovably kind to the rest

selfless, giving, caring

even when you just wanted an escape, you came to the aid of your brothers

you gave the ultimate sacrifice & paid the price

everyone mourns you

when the battle is won & dream locked away indefinitely

once everyone has come down from the high of freeing themselves from dream’s reign, the server goes into a state of grieving

there’s no denying your death

they all saw the message in chat

you’re dead

those that were close to you took it hard

niki was narrowly stopped from burning down the bakery you encouraged her to open and helped build

eret put her emotions into work on a memorial in their museum for you

even under the egg’s control, bad & ant put the eggpire aside for you

of course, those who took it the hardest is your family

when ghostbur learns of your death, he’s distraught

he doesn’t quite know how to handle the information

he protects your home & only allows people to enter when he supervises them

tommy took a while to move past his anger & deal with the fact that you’re gone

tubbo ran off to start snowchester

he chose to distract himself rather than truly process his emotions, even if you’d always done your best to break that habit of his

now that you’re not around, who’s to stop him from letting himself be numb to it all?

techno is another one of your family members who chose to barely acknowledge your passing

he became somehow more monotonous & emotionless

and phil

...

there’s no word for a parent who loses a child

wilbur was gone & of course it messed phil up to be the one to take will’s last life but by that point his son was gone

but you

you’d always been such a genuinely good person

phil did so little for you as a father

he was so absent

he never apologized to you for that

he never told you how much he loves & appreciates you & everything you’ve done to keep their family together when he couldn’t be bothered

it’s a few hours after he received the news from ranboo that all the guilt for everything he had ever put you through hit him

he broke down in his kitchen while trying to distract himself by organizing his cupboards

but all he could think about was you

you & your never ending kindness & compassion

he was never a father to you

yet you never hated him

why couldn’t you have hated him?

it would hurt less to lose you if you hated him; it’s what he deserves

he’s unworthy of your love

but he can only dwell so long on you

you are given a proper funeral

you’re buried by the seashore, somewhere between l’manberg and tommy’s abandoned vacation homes in an open field

the sever members plant so many flowers, your gravesite becomes a flower field

but soon, life goes on

it will only hurt for longer to draw out the mourning period

it would do no good for anyone

besides, you wouldn’t want the server to be sad for your sake

techno supposes it’s for the best that you died

he does his best to move on, filling his days with resource gathering and upgrading his tools, weapons, and armor while trying to think through his emotions logically

as much as he liked you

as much as everyone liked you, you were too good

you were the best of them

fate is not kind to heroes

“hello!”

technoblade is not an easy man to sneak up on, let alone scare

the greeting itself isn’t want startles him

it’s turning toward the voice to lock eyes with you

you who is dead

techno is not proud of the sound he made when he saw you but you of all people wouldn’t make fun of him for it

he just stares at you, slowly realizing what’s happened

you look desaturated, the color drained from your clothes

your skin is grey & almost translucent

you’re a ghost

“y/n.”

“hello! who are you?”

techno tells no on one of your ghost form

he even keeps the rest of the server a secret from you

he leads you to your old home & leaves you there w/ ghostbur

he hopes your and ghostbur’s combined amnesia will keep you out of harm’s way i.e. the rest of the server

he visits you occasionally but mostly leaves you be

you live happily with ghostbur for a while

he is very glad to have you back

his memory is nearly as bad as yours, so the story of the server & what happened to you when you were alive is only given to you in bits & pieces that are near impossible to fit together

it was only a matter of time before someone came to visit your house

“...y/n?”

it’s tubbo who finds you first

or he finds your ghost

(tubbo) y/n! oh my god! you’re a ghost! you’ve come back!

(you) hello! *whispers* ghostbur, who is this?

(ghostbur, whispering obviously) that’s tubbo, one of your other brothers i’ve told you about

(you, whispering) oh, right

(tubbo) how long have you- oh, this is incredible! i have to tell tommy! he’s been so sad since you died; he’ll be so glad to see you!

tubbo messages tommy, who is skeptical but reluctantly comes to your house anyway

but there you are

your ghost anyway

which is good enough, honestly

(tommy) y/n!

you catch him in a hug easily, even if you’ve never met him before

(tommy) you’re alive!

(you) no i’m not. i’m a ghost!

techno happens to check in on you when tubbo & tommy are there

bad news for technoblade: you’d told them about techno leading you here

meaning: tommy knows techno hid you from him & everyone else

needless to say, he is not too happy about that

(tommy) you hid her! you kept her away from us!

(techno) tommy, you have to understand-

(tommy) i don’t have to understand shit! you hid her from us! you lied to us!

(techno) tommy-

(tommy) you kept her from everyone! you’re selfish and you’re a liar and you’re horrible and-

(techno) i did it to protect her! she’s been hurt enough protecting others; it’s our turn to protect her. the only way we can do that is by leaving her alone

(tommy) she’s my sister

(techno) your sister is dead, tommy. for once in her life, let her have peace

tommy gives up on techno & goes to you instead

(tommy) y/n! y/n, we can bring you back. we can revive you. well, dream can revive you but he’s in prison so he has to do what we say so we can bring you back. we can be a family again. don’t you want to come back?

(you) ...no

that

...

that isn’t what tommy was expecting

(tommy) what?

(you) if alive y/n comes back, i won’t exist anymore. and i’ve only just got here. i don’t want to go yet

(tommy) don’t you understand how much y/n means to me? y/n has to come back. she has to. she’s so important. not just to me but to, um... tubbo as well! right, tubbo? don’t you want y/n back?

tommy looks to tubbo for some backup but the shorter boy looks away

(tubbo) i think we need to let y/n go, tommy

the betrayal that fills tommy’s chest is soon gone as he locks eyes with techno

tommy knows techno is right

you’re too much of a good person

you’re too willing to sacrifice yourself for others

even as a ghost your kindness is blinding

this server will only drain you of everything you have yet again

he will drain you of everything you are

he’s just tried to convince you to cease to exist to bring back the former version of yourself

(you) i’m sorry. it’s just- i’ve heard there are these really pretty blue flowers in the swamp biome that i haven’t got to see yet-

(tommy) no. it’s fine. i’m sorry. i-... i should go.

tommy leaves your house & tubbo goes with him

even if tubbo caught on a bit sooner to techno’s reasoning, he’s still concerned at his friend’s sudden change in character

(tubbo) tommy... are you alright?

(tommy) ...i really want her back

(tubbo) i do, too. but she’s gone

(tommy) she doesn’t have to be

tubbo can’t argue with that

(tommy) but... maybe it’s for the best

(tubbo) really?

(tommy) yeah.

(tubbo) but just earlier you were telling me about your plan to get the revive book from dream

(tommy) techno’s right, tubbo. all everyone- myself included- has ever done to y/n is take. and she’s given everything

(tubbo) because she loved us

(tommy) as much as she loved us and as much as we loved her... the only thing we’ve ever brought her is pain. i think now... now is her time to rest.

(tubbo) ...that’s very pog champ of you, big man

tommy had planned to visit dream as many times as it took to get the revive book location off of him so he could revive you, but now he’s accepted that he needs to move on

he needs to move on from you & dream & everything dream has put him through

he decides to pay one last visit to dream, put him behind him, & never look back

he’s ready to start a new chapter in his life, one without dream

and the first one without you

but then he’s locked in the prison

two weeks pass

nearing three weeks & tommy still isn’t allowed out of dream’s cell

he’s irritated and annoyed and most of all he’s scared

but he can’t let dream know he’s still afraid of him, that’s why he pisses dream off enough to the point of being beat to death

tommy begs him to stop

but then he’s gone

everything is dark

black

empty

nothing

is this what death is?

conscious in absolute nothingness?

tommy’s feet feel the ground beneath him

his senses come back to him

it’s still dark but he feels as though he can see again

where is he?

heaven?

no, probably hell

or maybe neither?

both...?

what the hell happened?

the first thing to break the silence is the voice tommy has known since he was an infant

the voice of the person who raised him

the voice of the person who has always been there for him

the voice of the person who he has finally let go of

your voice

saying one simple word

“tommy?”

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separatist-apologist · 3 years

Note

Listen…There’s so so little HelionxLoA smut out there🤧🤧 so naturally I came to the Queen of Vanserra/Spellcleaver writing to request literally anything you want to write for them, I just need content about them cause all we have is CRUMBS😭🤧

love your writing boo have a wonderful day💕

Look, if you think you can show up in my ask box demanding Helion content you are absolutely right. Honestly, more of this please. We could put Helion in ALL KINDS of positions, I know he'd be up for it.

Anyway, this is NSFW, 18+, edited with my hands tied behind my back.

Helion pulled himself out of the gleaming pool of salt water, blinded by the overhead sun. Meeting, meetings, meetings, he thought despondently, wrapping a towel around his waist. What good was being the High Lord if your time still wasn’t your own? Helion wanted to float in sunlight until his skin burned. He wanted to float until he felt nothing but oblivion, until he was one with the world.

Instead he’d sit at his desk and a stack of papers while emissary’s for whatever boring High Lord wanted to talk to him droned on and on about trade routes and taxes. Helion had hoped to never be High Lord, had hoped the magic might skip him entirely and then Amarantha, the cunt, fucked that all up.

Not that Helion didn’t still indulge, of course. Just not as often as he would have liked.

His bare feet smacked against the marble, still slippery from the water and he smirked at a gentleman who glanced at the towel hanging from his hips. He knew what they were wondering. What was beneath? Nothing, he thought with relish.

“Give me twenty minutes,” Helion told one of his advisors as he made his way towards his bedroom. “Who is waiting?”

“An emissary from Autumn, High Lord.”

Helion rolled his eyes. “Give me an hour, then,” he replied with a relish. It hardly punished Beron, given he’d sent one of his simpering, spineless courtiers in his stead and yet Helion still could not help but be petty. Let the courtier go back to Autumn and complain about Helion’s lack of time for them. Perhaps one day Beron would take the hint.

He flung open his bedroom door with a relish, intending to bathe and, afterwards, take a nap. Maybe eat after that, read a few chapters of his book and then, if he felt like it, hear out whatever Beron wanted.

Helion froze in place, eyes huge, hand still on the doorknob behind him. The Lady of Autumn, his lady, Amera, stood in the middle of the room wearing nothing but a flimsy, cotton shift that did absolutely nothingto hide her body from him.

This is a dream, his mind shouted. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d imagined her standing in his bedroom with those russet eyes filled with wanting. He reached for his side and pinched hard, waiting to see her dissolve into nothingness.

She took a step forward. “You’re not imagining things,” she told him, her voice somehow prettier than he remembered. He rubbed his jaw; aware he must look half insane standing as he was. Helion, unable to put together words, at least managed to lock the door behind him. Had he said an hour? Autumn’s courtier would go home unanswered.

“How?” He asked, fisting his hands at his sides. His eyes drifted towards her pert breasts, the rosy nipples stark against the near transparent fabric.

Her eyes sparked with amusement. “You haven’t heard?”

Helion’s knees began to shake as a smile spread across her beautiful face. “Eris is High Lord, now.”

“How?”

Mischief replaced her amusement. “How, indeed.”

“So you’re…” He couldn’t get the word out, couldn’t bring himself to say it only to be rebuffed. Centuries of waiting, of wanting, of yearning and now Helion needed her to say it.

“Yours?” She supplied. Finally, his body worked and Helion, unable to stand it a moment longer, surged towards his lady and yanked her into his arms. He meant to kiss her but his legs gave way and Helion knelt before her instead, hugging her middle.

“Stay,” he begged like he’d done many, many times before. She carded her fingers through his wet, tangled hair. “Please stay.”

“For how long?” She responded and Helion couldn’t believe it was real. It wasn’t really happening. He was dehydrated, still floating in the pool, fantasizing like he so often did. He squeezed her body, his hands taking on a life of their own as they began to slide the long shift up her thin legs.

“Forever,” he choked, catching the scent of her arousal before he hand the shift anywhere close to her cunt. She chucked over him, as though the scene unfolding amused her.

“Is that all?” She asked him and Helion growled, pressing his mouth against her thigh.

“No,” he replied, ripping the fabric bunched in his hands. She gasped but Helion would shred everything she brought from Autumn, every article of clothing, every pretty memento and, in time, every bad memory. He stood, ripping his way up to the neckline while she looked up at him with clear eyes. He’d forgotten how little she was in comparison and the urge to protect her flared to life.

She slid the sleeves of the now ruined undergarment to the floor, never breaking eye contact. “Is it as you remember?” She asked him, pressing a hand to his hard chest. He swallowed hard because no, she wasn’t as he remembered. Too thin, too pale…he could fix that.

“Better,” he said instead, sucking air in sharply when she pulled the knot out of his towel, letting the fabric drop to the floor. She cocked her head to the side, red curls spilling down her back. A smile curved over her pretty, red lips and Helion almost let her sink to her knees in front of him.

“No,” he all but snarled, catching her by the elbows. “Absolutely not.”

She frowned, opening her mouth to protest and while Helion would have liked nothing more than to feel her mouth around him again, he would have her body, or he would have nothing at all. He scooped her up, reveling in the feel of her bare skin against his own and swallowed any protest she might have offered with his lips. He felt fevered, hungry, and desperate for the female he spread delicately across his bed of white and gold.

He stopped his kissing just long enough to position himself on the bed, half covering her body with his own. She tasted exactly as he remembered, like roasted chestnuts and bright, sun washed apples and Helion was lost. He ran a broad hand up her thigh and over her stomach, over and over, reveling in the feel of her soft skin beneath his calloused hands.

Helion’s cock ached even before she reached between them and began to stroke. He groaned against her cheek, his eyes rolling back into his skull. Had anything ever felt so good? “Let me touch you,” she murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.

“I want to touch you,” he replied, settling a knee between her legs as he cradled her face in his hand. “I want to taste you.”

She sighed sweetly, shaking her head back and forth as though the whole thing were infinitely funny and not something Helion had been thinking about for practically his entire life. Three centuries. That’s how long it had been since he’d last touched her, tasted her…really spoke to her. He’d heard her offer him forever, but Helion couldn’t quite believe it. Their time was always numbered, always stolen in between hiding from Beron and he’d learned to take what he could before she vanished again.

He needed her to feel good, to think about his skin against hers, his mouth, his everything. He needed her to miss him the way he missed her.

“Why not both?” She asked a moment before he caught one of her rosy nipples between his teeth, breathing hot air against her breast as he teased gently. Her eyes fluttered shut and her hips bucked gently, rubbing against his thigh. The radiating heat was enough to almost convince Helion to abandon his plan of slow seduction in favor of rough, near animalistic fucking. Next time, he swore, not convinced there would be a next time. He needed to hear her scream his name so loud Rhysand and Thesan would hear over the border.

Down, down, down, he slid, his tongue trailing a path over her pale, freckled skin. He parted her thighs as her breath caught overhead and Helion thought he might cry at the sight of her, spread out like his favorite meal. Mine, you are mine—

He brushed his thumb over her wet, pink opening, delighted when her whole body seemed to quiver at the touch. He ground himself into the mattress in an attempt to alleviate the ache building but rationally, the only thing that would satisfy him was her clenched around him.

“Helion,” she gasped overhead, the sexiest thing he’d ever heard in his life. He wanted to hear her say it again. He took his thumb and rubbed an excruciatingly slow circle over her quivering clit as he watched over. Her back arched in response, her eyes flying open.

“Helion, please,” she begged this time. Not enough, he thought to himself, circling again, a smile curved over his lips.

She screamed softly with frustration, her eyes locked with his. Beautiful, so fucking beautiful—

“Helion!”

That was good, he decided, in part because he was also desperately wanted to taste the arousal he could smell. He dropped his head and licked, replacing his finger as Amera fisted her hand in his hair.

“Better,” she half-gasped. “Please don’t stop.”

As if he could. He’d just begun besides, intoxicated off the sweet, musky taste of her arousal. Wet, he thought, his tongue sliding back down her cunt towards the opening he very much planned to be in just as soon as she came in his mouth. She was so damn wet it was driving him insane.

He couldn’t resist sliding his tongue into her body, his nose rubbing against her clit, to fuck her with his mouth. She writhed overtop him, her slick coating his face in the most satisfying way. To Helion, he felt the wet like a brand upon his skin, a warning to any other who might come near him.

Yours, I’m yours—

Back to her clit, his tongue skilled, his fingers parting her so he could have more, all of her. Helion was greedy and always had been. He hated the thought of sharing, of only getting the pieces she could give. Everything was available to him now.

He wanted it all.

“Helion,” she gasped again, her thighs clenching around his face. Helion smiled, his mouth moving faster, methodically, exactly the way he remembered. Her hands tightened in his hair, pulling almost painfully to hold him exactly where he was. Her hips bowed off the bed the same moment a scream ripped through the pulsating silence, his name mingled somewhere between. He didn’t stop, riding her through and, perhaps, hopeful she’d let him keep going.

She yanked hard, demanding him to come back to her. He’d intended to slide himself right in, anticipation warm in his stomach but it was clear Amera had other thoughts. She sat up quickly, her eyes liquid flame, and pushed him to the bed before he could do little more than exhale.

She straddled him without a hint of hesitation, positioning the head of his cock over her dripping pussy. Helion cried out when she sank down quickly, taking every inch of him all at once. His eyes snapped open as she began to rock, her breasts bouncing in his line of view.

He was tense, taut with burning desire. It was all too much and Helion knew he wasn’t going to be able to drag it out the way he’d wanted to. She was so tight it felt like a second skin. It was all Helion could do but hold her hips, his fingers grazing the swell of her ass.

She dug her nails into his chest hard enough she was close to drawing blood. She remembered, he thought in a daze. He liked that edge of pain, the feral part of fucking that left gouges in his skin as a reminder of what they’d done. He couldn’t bring himself to bruise her skin, not when he knew she’d spent centuries hiding them. She could hurt him however she liked but Helion could not hurt her at all.

“Come for me,” he begged, so close he was hanging by a thread. He was counting in his head, trying to prevent himself from spilling though electricity hummed through his veins, urging him to let go and give in to the building heat that had settled in his sac. “Please, Amera—”

She came again, the walls of her cunt fluttering around him with intensity. He lost his control, roaring so loud he knew the Autumn emissary knew why he was waiting. His muscles locked for a moment as release poured out of him, his warm come spilling from her pussy back down his shaft to pool on the sheets below them.

He reached for her, still sheathed within her, and kissed her roughly, desperately. This had always been the part where she left him and Helion couldn’t help his terror. Don’t leave me, he begged silently. Stay.

She caressed his face, smiling as she looked down at his face. “You shouldn’t keep Eris waiting.”

“Let him,” Helion replied, his voice hoarse. “I’ve waited long enough.”

“I’m not leaving,” she promised but Helion crushed her to his chest all the same.

Forever wasn’t long enough.

#helion #helion x loa #helion x lady of autumn #hot sun dad #hot pumpkin mom #honestly this is what helion deserves #give him a happy ending i s2g #acotar #day court #helion defense squad #spell-cleavers is this your ask?#you don't have to be anon #i would do anything for you

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rick-rayson · 3 years

Note

Hello, I first want to say I love your writing. Also could I request if it’s not too much trouble a writing about the batgirls being protective of robin!y/n please. Ps Barbara is my favorite batgirl. Hope you have a lovely dory or night

Thanks! Glad you like my writing! Hope you also have a good dory (heh) and night!

<(￣︶￣)—♡ (I kinda don't like it so take that heart)

The protective Batgirls

You've always wanted to be a part of your own Teen Titans like Damian, or even the leader of your own Outlaws. And although you've been Robin to all of the Batgirls, there's a time where a little bird must learn independence and earn their wings.

Now was not one of those times.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god-" Stephanie was doing push-ups and affirming herself. And after that had oroven useless she proceeded to walk in circles, muttering to nothingness.

"You're fine you're fine you're fine you're fine—" Barbara was furiously playing keyboard warrior with her computer, tapping each key at a near inhuman speed. Her brows furrowed and her lips formed into a pout.

"don't die please—" Cass was hugging your body close.

"Cass, Babs, Steph- I'm okay." You coughed a bit.

"oh my god they're gonna die, haha calm down this is fine, this is fine-" Stephanie had fallen to her knees in a over dramatic fashion.

"Y/n, you're going to be okay. Alright? Stay with me—" Cass nuzzled into your neck, painstakingly so as you had found the air in your lungs falter.

"Girls, it's but a flesh wound."

"Your face looks like a New York subway map, Kiddo." Babs commented before throwing a paper plane at Cass' head. "Put them down before they go comatose. Again."

"I wasn't comatose, okay? I was just winded!" You'd grabbed your roughed up domino mask and placed it back onto your face. You'd puff your chest up to feel bigger.

"Great, now your face looks like Rhode island. Young Wonder." Babs had stood up and given you a hug that you melted into so delicately. Barbara always had a way of making you softer, more vulnerable around her that the others catch more times than they'd honestly like.

They understand it though. Barbara was your first ever mentor. Your first Batgirl. You'll always have a closeness with her that the others haven't really earned yet.

But that does not mean they're not equally as protective of you.

"Sure Two-Face got the jump on me, but it's not like you three don't make mistakes sometimes!" Barbara noticed you had an excuse prepared for this very scenario before it even happened.

Because it's become a pattern.

"Right, but you don't see us making mistakes consecutively." Barbara shot back. Cassie and Stephanie joined Barbara's side. "Look, we don't blame you for what happened back there. But you can't join us for this mission anymore."

"Barbara that's not fair!" You'd backed away. "I deserve to go on this mission just as much as the three of you!"

"You do, Kid, you really do." Stephanie stepped forward and placed a hand on your shoulder. "I think I can speak for all of us when I say that you getting hurt all those times was because of our negligence. We should have taught you better."

"You have! I... I just want to be good enough." You'd covered the scarred part of your face with a hand and a hurt expression enough to make the strong willed Batgirls nearly break.

"You are, and you always have been. But please, please stay home tonight so we can beat that ghoul faced loser into submission. Don't let one failed mission make you feel inadequate." Stephanie said.

You sighed after peering at the worried faces of the Batgirls. "Just, just please come back okay? We still have our movie night."

And with that the Batgirls enveloped you in a hug. The moment reminded you of a sound. A sound of a child crying alone, face planted on the gravel floor mixed with blood and tears and the scent of petrichor.

You remember those tears. They were the type that felt giant. The type that hurt your nose. The type that made you feel as though you were drowning a pool.

But you also remember the warmth that followed. The type of warmth you feel from a sun ray that brushes against you on a cold day like a paint brush to a canvas. That warmth held you.

And gave an unspoken promise that you'd never cry those tears again.

"We'd never miss it for the world." Barbara stroked your cheek before leaping out of the window of her apartment. Stephanie blew you a kiss before zipping out of the fire escape. Cassie winked and left without making a sound.

It's safe to say that the warmth that day has still kept their promise.

And when you see on the news, Two-Face with a broken jaw and numb leg being pushed into a police car.

You know they kept their promise. That warmth.

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whumpmatsus · 3 years

Note

Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!

And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺

FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu

Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3

second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3

When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.

All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.

There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.

He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.

Then he starts to remember things.

He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.

Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.

They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.

It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.

He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.

Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.

He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.

A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”

“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”

It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”

He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”

“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”

Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”

“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”

She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”

“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”

Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?

Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”

She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.

“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”

“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”

Coming home is kind of weird.

Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.

Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.

Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.

The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.

He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.

His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.

It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.

Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.

He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.

There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”

“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”

Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”

His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. “Hm… a bit after midnight.”

“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.

Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”

Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”

“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…

Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”

It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.

His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.

His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.

“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.

He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”

The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.

He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”

Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.

It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”

“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”

Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”

After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.

He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.

Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.

Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.

Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”

“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”

“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”

“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”

Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”

“Mh. I hope so.”

“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”

Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”

A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.

After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”

“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”

“― My leg itches.”

“O-oh. So… scratch it??”

He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”

“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.

After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”

Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?”

Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”

“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.

“Heh, no problem. All good now?”

“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”

Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”

His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”

“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.

He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”

His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”

“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”

“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that… you’ll make your back sore.”

He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”

“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”

“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”

He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.

When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.

As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.

He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.

“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”

“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”

“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”

“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”

Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.

He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.

A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”

Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”

“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”

With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.

Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.

It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”

He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.

“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”

“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”

“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”

The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”

Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”

“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”

True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.

All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.

After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.

Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.

He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”

Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”

Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”

“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”

Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”

… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.

They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”

“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”

Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”

Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”

“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”

He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”

“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”

He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.

Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”

Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”

Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.

Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.

Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.

When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…

… Oh.

He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”

His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”

“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.

He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.

He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”

Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”

“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”

Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”

Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”

He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”

The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”

“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”

Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”

An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.

Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”

“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”

He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”

“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.

They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.

Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.

Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.

It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.

He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?

He thinks this is the reason.

Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…

… For once, he’s happy to be alive.

#Osomatsu san #whump #Ichimatsu #Allmatsu #Iromatsu #Nenchuumatsu #Suujimatsu #Parkamatsu #110matsu #car accident #broken bones #medication #caretaking #HEY LOOK AT THESE AWESOME BROTHERS BEING AWESOME #SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.........#PLS ENJOY THE FOOD <3

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honeyxchoso · 3 years

Text

Promise (fuckboy!Satoru Gojo x reader) (college AU)

warnings: Gojo being a fuckboy who knows his effect on women all too well, MC's declining mental health implied

genre: angst? (sfw)

word count: 1.9k

“Please, just hear me out!” Gojo begged, face contorting into a desperate expression you knew all too well by now.

The scene is just like the numerous ones you’ve experienced in the past few months, all consequential to Satoru Gojo asking you out earlier that year. You should have known better. After all, you’ve been a witness of all of his intimate endeavours throughout high school. It was naive to assume that you would be spared of his promiscuous behaviour and that, somehow, this would be different.

“I promise you it won’t happen again!”

The exclamation just fell on deaf ears. That very promise, which he never fails to make in moments like these, has lost all meaning long ago. The sincerity fading more and more each time it was broken. These conversations, which once used to reduce you to tears, have now lost all meaning they once might have possessed.

All you know is the emptiness you feel resulting from your heart being shattered over and over again, your soul reduced to nothingness. You can no longer cry. You can no longer get mad. You are no longer surprised. Just a shell of the person you once were.

No longer are you even aware of your surroundings, lost in your own mind as Gojo spouted endless dubious apologies and false promises, all of which you’ve heard dozens of times before. How many times have you turned a blind eye so far? How many second chances have you given? How much longer will this go on? You do not know.

How did it come to this?

You and Satoru are first years in an honours programme at Jujutsu college, with you majoring in Biology and him in Physical engineering. Although you had known him since your first year of high school, you two have only gotten close in the summer leading up to your first year at college. During that summer, he’s managed to get closer to you than anyone ever has before. It really isn’t that difficult to imagine considering his flamboyant personality and stunning appearance.

Right now, you were at a cafe, waiting for Mr Perfect to show up for your weekly Math and Chem study session. You chuckle looking at a meme he just texted you. The lovely bastard is fashionably late per usual, but you are somehow never annoyed at that nasty habit of his. Five minutes of texting later, you feel a tap on your shoulder alerting you of Satoru’s arrival. Soon after the tap, you can feel his presence on the left side of your head.

“I think you can kiss heaven goodbye, as it must be a sin to look that good,” he proudly stated right next to you. You gazed to the side with widened eyes and your mouth slightly agape. It was just quick enough for you to catch a glimpse of those gorgeous sky blue eyes of his, mischievously peeking up at you from the pitch-black sunglasses the man always adorned. It truly was a sight to behold. To your great misfortune, however, it was gone as soon as it came, with him rising up to ruffle your hair a bit with his enormous hand before going to sit at the other end of your small table.

You focused on regaining your usual composure, as you’ve grown accustomed to his flirty persona during the summer while observing him picking up girls wherever you went. His sense of humour is just atrocious, but it eventually grew on you also. Despite his provocative behaviour and dirty humour implying he’s still very much immature for anything of the sort, you’ve started harbouring hope that one day, just maybe, he’ll give it a shot for you. Yes, as naive as it was, you couldn’t help but fall for the marvellous man sitting across from you.

You sighed at your inner turmoil and slightly irritably ran a hand through your hair. Satoru, of course, interpreted your reaction as you being annoyed at his borderline foul compliment and the thought elicited a deep, alluring chuckle from him. Slightly shaken from the beautiful sound, you plastered on a smile and looked at him, asking to begin your study session already since he was late again.

Two hours of studying later, you two were walking back to the student dorms on the other end of the campus site making small talk on your way.

“Argh! I hate this unit so much. Why do we have to memorise all the functional groups when it would be so much easier to just look them up in the data booklet during exams? It is so unnecessary!” you cried out, pouting while clenching your fists in exasperation. When Satoru didn’t respond, you relaxed your posture and turned to address him, only to blank out upon seeing the way he was staring at you.

He had a tender look on his face the likes of which you’ve never seen before. His lips formed into a small but genuine smile with his eyes relaxed as he just looked at you. You felt as though he was staring right into your soul. At this point, you both stopped walking instinctively and held your eyes locked wishing for the tender moment to last forever. Satoru was the first to speak up.

He called your name, not breaking eye contact. You just barely took notice of his voice, getting lost in his gorgeous blue eyes during your little moment just now. God, does your name sound good coming from his mouth. You barely had the common sense at this point to utter out a small “Hm?” and no notion whatsoever of what was yet to come.

“Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

You were baffled. The person you’ve been crushing on for months now just asked you out. You. Little old insignificant you. Too startled to form a coherent response, you replied with the only concern you had. “Me?”

After all, you were a nobody. You’ve seen the women who talk to him on a daily basis. The perfect height, athletic, well-adorned in all sorts of jewellery and fancy clothes, makeup perfectly done and never a single strand of hair out of place - those were the type of women surrounding Satoru Gojo. Compared to them, you were the lowest of the low. Your face contorted into one of confusion before your eyes started tearing up. This must be a joke...

That was only in the few seconds leading up to Satoru bursting out in a tear-inducing laugh. This did well to break you out of your small trance, sobering up a little before becoming even more confused. He asked you out, and now he’s laughing about it? Is this man in his right senses? You don’t recall him having any alcoholic beverages at the cafe so it can’t be. He stopped laughing soon after and used the tip of his right-hand sleeve to wipe away his tears.

“Of course it’s you, silly! It’s 10pm. We’re the only ones here right now!” he exclaimed, giggling a bit throughout forming his sentence still. This only served to confuse you even more. It must be a joke, then.

“You’re joking,” you voiced your thoughts. At this, his formerly happy expression fell and formed into one of concern.

“How could I be?” he asked. Seeming genuinely concerned as to why you’d think that. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips formed an unusual frown. “How could I ever joke about something like that? You have no clue what you mean to me, Y/N.” You could tell from his expression that he was being sincere, making you falter. Your face seemed to be enough of a response for him to continue speaking.

“You are honestly the best person I have ever met. You are strong and independent despite everything life has thrown at you. You are smarter than anyone I know. You have an amazing sense of humour and are a great listener. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you most. Along with being a good person, you also make me a better person myself. You fulfil me. Without you, I feel my very existence would be meaningless.” All the while saying this, he hasn’t broken eye contact once. “So I will ask you once again, Y/N, will you go out with me?

Following that evening, the two of you were in a happy relationship.

So how did it turn into this?

You first noticed something was wrong when you saw him dancing really close with a girl at a college party. He had his left hand low on her waist and his other hand entangled in her hair, bringing her closer so he could lean into her neck. It was just an embrace, right? Perhaps she was his friend who needed comfort of some sort? These are the excuses you made for yourself at the time to console the slight pang of concern and betrayal felt upon witnessing that scene. You never confronted him about that. At the time, you told yourself that was because there was no issue to address but reflecting on that moment now, you know it was the fear of your suspicion being proven right that discouraged you from bringing it up.

This happened about an additional five or six times before you started acting a bit more adverse to Satoru’s usual affection. You would no longer initiate kisses and would become stiff in his embrace. It was mortifying to know he was behaving so naturally around you when you know he’s off with other women when he thinks you aren’t looking. Despite this, the relationship was maintained as your love for him didn’t falter.

After a while, his endeavours would cause arguments. He would argue the women were coming onto him, that he was drunk or anything of the sort, just to get out of the situation, and you would argue he was fully aware of his promiscuous behaviour. These arguments would always end in forgiveness and the movie would rewind yet again. That is what led you where you are now. Your forgiving nature backfired and your feelings for the man were constantly extorted.

Sometimes, enough is enough.

It is time to put a stop to this neverending loop your relationship has turned into.

“Stop,” Satoru was still pleading for forgiveness when you interrupted him mid-sentence. Your simple exclamation seemingly pausing time, as it was the first word you have uttered in this conversation so far. Gojo looked at you anxiously, hope evident in his eyes that you would forgive him. Oh, how you loved those eyes of his, full of deceit.

“I’ve had enough. I’ve given you far too many chances and have been disappointed every time without fail. It is time for both of us to admit to ourselves that this won’t work. Not the way it is now.”

Despite your calm exterior, your previously empty inside now felt a sharp, anxious pain. No one said it was going to be easy. While the fear of change is strong, you know this is the right thing to do. Fear can bring no actual harm, but this relationship has and will continue to do so if you don’t put a stop to it. It is time.

“Goodbye, Satoru Gojo.”

#satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #au #alternate universe #college au #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfic #jjk gojo x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo x you #gojo jujutsu kaisen

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jimmys-zeppelin · 3 years

Text

ghostin'

chapter fifteen

(table of contents)

(chapter fourteen)

june 26, 1976

"We're here today with Miss Ellie Saunders, singer and writer of the newest song going up in the pop charts, Songbird! Would you like to say hello to our audience, Ellie?"

"Hi, everyone! Thank you so much, Bill for having me on."

"Pleasure's all mine. Last time we had you in the studio was...two years ago with your single, Dreamer, isn't that right?"

"Very much so! Since then lots of things have changed." Ellie chuckled, reflecting on the past for a split second.

"Yeah, you were just a wide-eyed kid who had no idea what the business was like or where you were going. Nice to see you settled down. Now, you're with Led Zeppelin's guitarist, Jimmy Page, right? How's that working out with their constant touring?"

Ellie visibly tensed. If they were there to talk about Jimmy, they should have just called him on instead, but alas she was polite and answered the question. "Yes, Jimmy and I are together," she chuckled nervously, "Well, we manage our time pretty well. He's currently away doing his stuff and I'm working on my new album, but we find time to get a phone call in before bed...middle of the night," she laughed, "we find a way."

"Adorable, you two are. So this album of yours? Got a title yet? And what kind of songs are we going to see on it?"

"Not yet," Ellie answered, but quickly saved herself, "we have a working one, but even that's under wraps for now. As for songs, they're mostly just your regular old love songs I guess. The experimental piece was actually one I plan to release soon. I really hope my fans enjoy it. It took a lot to write it."

"And the title?"

Ellie looked over to Carolyn, who sat across the room puffing on a cigarette. The brunette nodded at the blonde, allowing her to speak on the song, "Well the song is called Sign of the Times. It's about seeing a change in someone you love and having to accept it. It could be with a wife, husband, lover, friend; anyone you hold dear who you just...can't help but worry about." She explained, getting lost in her own words as she thought about Jimmy. "As you can see I'm still a bit raw about it," Ellie lightly rubbed at her watering eyes.

"Do you miss your person?" Bill asked, suddenly becoming quite sincere.

Ellie met his gaze, nodding, "I do." she said, thinking of what lie to tell people to convince them she wasn't talking about her lanky, dark-haired boyfriend.

"Well, now onto what you're here for. Tell me about Songbird, then."

"Um, well...there was a slight bit of a rough patch lately that affected me a bit. I decided to get my trusty notebook out and spew out all the words that would come. And Songbird came out of that."

"Some beautiful acoustic on there, who did it?"

"I did! Jimmy's not the only one who's well-spoken in the ways of a guitar in this relationship. Although I did want him to come play on it for me, our schedules just didn't line up." She shrugged.

"Incredible. Well, here it is, folks. The new song by Ellie Saunders: Songbird." Bill said, fiddling with some buttons and getting his turntable ready before removing his headphones, "you can take those off now." he said.

Ellie removed the bulky headphones from her hair and held them idly in her lap as her song played out to the broader Los Angeles area. She knew it wasn't the first time a station had played the song in the week or so that it'd been out, but it was different knowing that she was right there while it was playing out to thousands of people. It was daunting if anything.

"Ellie that was great. Thank you so much for coming on!" Bill said, standing to shake Ellie's hand. The singer mirrored his actions and went in for a handshake, returning the favor.

"Thank you for asking me to come on. It was a pleasure. Maybe I'll come back when Sign of the Times comes out." She said with a wink.

"Of course," Bill replied, "tell me. In confidence; off the record. Is there a title for the new record?"

Ellie contemplated her honest answer, then exhaled through her nose in a laugh before answering, "No, actually. I have no idea what it's called. I've been so focused on writing songs that...I just haven't had time to think of a title, honestly." Ellie laughed as she spewed the honest truth.

Bill laughed out loud at the comment, giving Ellie a pat on the back, "Seriously, Ellie, come back any time. New song, new album, or if you just wanna chat with me for the morning segment. It would be great."

"Thank you so much, Bill." She repeated as she started picking up her bags. Carolyn put out her cigarette in an ashtray near the microphones and gave Bill a firm handshake. The women left the building shortly after.

After they'd been settled in the car to take them back to the studio, they finally got a chance to take a breather and relax. Things had been moving at a touch and go pace since finishing the two bigger singles. The rest of the songs still needed more, Ellie thought. It often occupied her mind just what she wanted to add to each song. That and Jimmy.

Not only was she concerned about him, she found herself getting increasingly more discouraged when she spoke with him. Like she was walking on eggshells when it came to a conversation with him. If either of them said the wrong thing, the other would get set off. Ellie found herself as more of the latter. She hated arguing while they were away from each other, but she couldn't help comment about his activities. He knew her disdain of it and it seemed there wasn't much else to talk they had to talk about since their days were full of nothingness lately.

☆

Andrew came over late that night. One more song on the album had been finalized and he deemed it enough to celebrate. Five of twelve songs completed, in case anyone was counting.

"Cheers to another amazing song by my best friend." Andrew said, raising a glass of some old whiskey Ellie had had hidden in her house since she'd moved in. The blonde could hardly remember who had given it to her. It seemed it just was a part of the house at that point.

They clinked glasses and each took a sip, both inevitably coughing and gagging at the taste and giggling at their reactions. Their conversation carried on until Ellie's eyes wandered to her stack of mail. Since getting home she hadn't had much time to give it a look so she gave each letter a once-over before focusing on Andrew again. That was the plan, at least.

However, a postcard caught her eye and she couldn't help but pick it up.

'Sunset Strip, Hollywood, California' Read the front as it was decorated with a photo of the infamous Sunset Strip at night. Ellie flipped over the postcard, her eyes quickly darting past the words that had been scrawled onto the paper.

'I recall you saying something about the Sunset Strip calling your name when we went out for dinner. How about we go out again sometime soon? You can be a Dreamer about life again. Call me when you get this. 213-xxx-xxxx

Hugs, Roger

P.S. Did you get the reference of your song that I used?

P.P.S. Ask for Simon Ferocious'

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows, but was delighted at the prospect that Roger would send her a postcard. She reached for the phone, starting to dial the numbers.

"What's up?" Andrew asked, taking another sip of the blasted whiskey, to which he exhaled sharply only seconds later. He set the cup down in disgust.

"It's Roger. He's in California. Told me to call him." Ellie replied, handing the man the postcard as his hands reached out for it. The line rang while Andrew exhaled through his nose, laughing at the corny jokes made in the letter.

"Ritz Los Angeles, my name is Angela. How can I be of service to you this evening?" The woman on the other line said. Ellie was taken aback slightly at the discovery of the Ritz's hotel having been the main point of contact for Roger.

"Uh, hi. I'm calling for a Simon Ferocious staying at your hotel." Ellie said, trying to hold back her laughter.

"And who's asking?" She asked.

"Say it's Mrs. Page. He'll know who it is."

"I'll put you through."

"Thank you."

Silence came through the phone before the Hold music shortly began. An ear-raping jazz number made Ellie put the phone down as soon as the music started.

"Simon Ferocious?" Andrew asked, having come back into the living room with a near-empty bottle of blush wine Ellie had been keeping in the fridge along with two flutes. She shrugged as he poured the rest out for the both of them as the infernal jazz finally came to an end.

"Mr. Ferocious for you, ma'am." The woman said.

"Thank you," Ellie paused waiting for the clicks before Roger's familiar rasp came through.

"Mrs. Page, hm?" Roger asked.

"I heard we weren't giving out our real names." Ellie laughed, twirling the phone cord around her finger. Her eyes followed Andrew as he walked over to her record collection beside the turntable.

"Well, I had good reason. I'm staying on the down low."

"Is that it? Who's Simon Ferocious, then?" she asked as the sounds of a song she couldn't quite place by Led Zeppelin came flooding through the speakers. The song was from a special release pressing Jimmy had gifted her when Physical Graffiti was released the previous year. Close friends and family received them. Ellie had been honored to say the least.

Roger chuckled, "A guy looking to take you out to a show. Someone there with you?"

"Just Andrew. He's my best friend—"

"And I'm gay!" Andrew shouted across the room.

"Nothing to worry about." Ellie smiled, and though Roger couldn't see it, he could sense it.

"Right. Simon Ferocious is something Fred called Sid Vicious because he was bothering him one day in the studio," Roger laughed, "Ask him about it one day, he'll get so cross about it."

"I think I might. Feel like you're not doing the story justice." Ellie chuckled. "So is Mr. Ferocious going to take me out to a show?" She asked as Andrew returned to his seat on the floor across from the singer, munching on a cracker that was sitting on a plate.

"I was hoping to today, actually. Then I heard you on the radio this morning and thought you might be busy."

Ellie apologized for the delay, "I got your postcard yesterday, I just didn't bother to look at my mail because it was all mixed with bills and other junk that it got lost. I'd ditch Andrew for you any night."

"Bitch!" The aforementioned man exclaimed, slapping Ellie on the shoulder with a push. A bubbly, hearty laugh left her throat as she fell back onto the floor.

Catching her breath, she confessed, "We're getting a little tipsy." she giggled. "How much longer are you in LA? I'll make it up to you."

"I leave on the 5th of July. I have to be back in London so we can start the new album."

"Well let's go to a Fourth of July celebration! I think my record label's throwing one. They're usually on top of some pretty rooftops. It'll make for a great view."

"It's a date then. Keep me posted on this...roof party."

"Didn't I give you my phone number, Rog?"

"..."

"Hm?"

"I dropped the slip of paper in a puddle on the day I got here. God's honest truth, El. Which is why I sent you a postcard."

"I'll entertain that story for a while...." she joked, "I can give it to you again, if you'd like."

"Yes please." Roger said sheepishly; a shuffling audible in the background.

"626...."

---

masterlist | playlist

Taglist: @diaryofafan17 @tophats-n-lespauls @witchesdust @jonesyjonesyjonesy @paginate54 @hejustsatisfiess @salixfragilis @princesspagey @reincarnated70sbaby @rebel-without-a-zeppelin @kyunisixx if you want to be added to the list lmk!

#I really liked this chappie I hope you guys like it too!#jimmy page #fanfic #fanfiction #ghostin'#big things are coming....*maniacally rubs hands together*

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undyingsunshine · 2 years

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10 Characters I fell in Love With in 2021

Tagged by the amazing @feveredcharm !!!! Thank you very much for the tag! <3 I go into quite the (loving) rant in some of these, so I've put them all under the cut! And also so I don't accidentally shove a long post into all these fandom tags! ^^;

I also could only think of 8 characters for this! Mostly because the characters I really fixated on this year were my own! xD Or they were ones that I already loved before 2021!

Anyway, here we go!

1 - Li Cu - DMBJ (Tomb Of The Sea) Ho, you all know my love for this little fucker. Pure of heart, dumb of ass, barer of misfortune. Outside of tumblr and DMBJ as a whole, I am most often writing in the perspective of angry, jaded and cautious characters; ones who have been given plenty of reasons not to trust anyone. It's quite the comfy niche that I find is the easiest to default to, so when DMBJ held out its hand and presented Li Cu. Well. How could I say no?? He's one of the few characters I've actually written for in the series because I feel quite familiar with his kind of character - and honestly I wouldn't mind writing more (in fact, I am writing more, just very slowly. ) There's so much nothingness to work with, seeing as he only appears once in the series so far, and that nothingness means I can just write fuck tons of angst with no payoff, y'know, like a dick /j /lh. He's angry, he's hurt and he's just. Confused. He's alone, for the most part, barely any family and barely any friends. And at the end of it all, he still has barely any family or any friends, but the friends are a little closer, and his dad is assumedly less violent. Throughout his life, he's reminded constanly that violence is seemingly the only way to get attention and recognition, a deeprooted issue that I feel is only solidified by his time with the Wangs because that's exactly how their system seems to work. Kill or be killed. And because the aftermath isn't looked into, I get to look into it and wiggle my evil evil hands across the keyboard while I write the most harrowing unresolved angst that I can. Because it's fun, to both write and to watch people peel at their yellow wallpaper in agony and despair. :) 2 - Yang Hao - DMBJ (Tomb of The Sea) MY BOY. MY DEAR BOY. HOW I LOVE HIM. He suffers, and yet no one hears him. He's the underling(?) of Huo Daofu??? Like??? WHAT that could be such an interesting thing to dig into? Especially if you consider a sort of mirror between Wu Xie+Li Cu and Huo Daofu+Yang Hao which, YES I bring this up all the time BECAUSE IT'S SO. INTERESTING???? Yang Hao is aggressive. He finds it easy to bully others to make things go the way he wants. He utilises it so well, and I imagine he only gets better at using it as time goes on, be it for his own gain or for the gain of a team. BUT!!!!! He also has a much softer side. A side of him that feels and loves and cares so soso deeply about the people he's close to! He's emotional, and though he tries to hide it, he's not very good at doing so :P He's also a little bit of a coward until situations become dire, in which he tries his best to be resourceful and quick thinking. 3 - Ethan Winters - Resident Evil IT'S HIM!!! THE DAD!!!! I love him. He's so loving and determined and the way he fights through hell to save Mia and Rose (his wife and daughter) is just a quality of him I admire. Yeah, he's on the quippy side and he's a dumbass, but I like smart-mouthed dumbasses! I absolutely adore this man and I love seing all the incredible art that's in his tag!! (while ignoring all the, in my opinion, unnecessary hate towards him HAHA) Just proves that not even vast horrors can keep a loving parent away from their kid! You do NOT fuck with a parent xD 4 - Aiden Pearce - Watch Dogs Honestly, he just kind of reminds me of my dad a little so I see him and it makes me happy. Though he's not always been the best of people, he loves his family and kind of has a soft side to him that I enjoy! Dude will do anything for ones he loves, he deserves nice things 5 - Sal Fisher - Sally Face I love this funky blue haired dude! He went through a lot but he didn't let any of it stop him! Though Sally Face is extremely disturbing, there's something I find charming in the. Like. The nostalgic feeling??? Like the characters just being a group of friends getting up to stuff, even if there's the sinister side to it all? It's cozy for the first couple chapters. Or, at least as cozy as it can get?? Sal, by nature, is calm, caring and understanding. He has a deep sense of justice and

will seemingly sacrifice anything in order to stop those injustices from happening. He gives others a chance, and he's very accepting, even to those who've wronged him (to an extent). He's a sweetheart, and I love him! 6 - Simon - Cry of Fear I just love this guy. He's definitely not the best and he has some problems he needs to work on, which he does in the good ending! He gets the help he needs and I think that's very awesome. He accepts himself, and finds the peace he desperately needed, even if it was by more tragic means. And the fact he starts respecting Sophie as her own person and accepts her having a new friend? We love character growth! 7 - Sasha Nein and Milla Vodello - Psychonauts Though I have known about Psychonauts for a few years now, I only got to play it in 2021! And it's a really cool game, honestly. I got to fall more deeply in love for a lot of the characters, Sasha and Milla in particular! I love them both and wanted to gush about both of them so they tied xD He's funny, and overall is kind of a dick, but I do love him for it. He cares for control, precision and yeah maybe he should be a teeny more considerate for those he puts through his experiments, but he's not a bad guy at all! After all, he's still protective of the kids and he offers to help Raz with his psychic abilities, as well as the strange mess that is his mind, letting him earn his badges despite Milla saying otherwise! Milla is. just. Ohhh, I LOVE HER. I love her so much. She's so sweet and caring, and despite her traumatising experience with the orphanage that took away the children she loved, she still continues to work with them and cares deeply about them and their safety. Her mind being a wholeass party also adds to her charm - she's a lady who loves to have fun! Honestly, she might be my favourite character in the game lowkey?? Anytime she's onscreen she's almost guaranteed to make me smile. Skilled, graceful, loving and so undeniably kickass! XD 8 - Josh Sauchak - Watch Dogs One of my favourite characters from Watch Dogs 2! Though, I do have to admit, MOST of Watch Dogs 2's characters are my faves XD He's always wanting to help others, and fights against injustice, which, by now, you can tell is a character trait I love xD And aside from that, he's also super sweet and super skilled, I wish we got to see more of him! If there's another Watch Dogs game, I'd absolutely love to see him come back!

Okay, that's all I can really think of? There might be other characters, but I couldn't really write a whole lot about them! So this'll do for now, I want this thing outta my drafts!

For this I'll be tagging @tbx12 @jockvillagersonly and @traineecryptid !! Of course, no pressure to do it! And sorry if any of you have already been tagged/already done it ((which if you have, send it to me so I can see 👀)) All the love!!! <3

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fandomfiish · 3 years

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Thominho || End of the World Song recommendation: As the world caves in x cancer by clem turner @its-tea-time-darling @thominho-incorrectquotes @graeae hehe~ ░░▓░░░░▓░░░░▓░░░░▓░░░▓░░ mournful cries for something that was not yet lost had dulled.

minho could still spot crowds below the hill, he imagined the silent wonder as they stare at the sky, waiting, huddling with strangers. striking conversations that would soon not even remain a memory. drinking up everything they could ever take, everything undiscovered. he would've remained somewhere else if it weren't for thomas. he remembers watching it from the news, it didn't even feel real at that time, even when that panic start rising up his throat.

"when it happens,"

thomas static voice mumbled over the phone.

"will you be with me?"

they never knew when it will happen, no time frame was given. just soon. all everyone could hope was that soon was enough to say their goodbyes, that soon enough to be able to be content of their own lives, that soon enough to cope. he watched in the first few minutes, the chaos unraveling right outside his window. his feet planted in his recently cleaned room, resisting the urge to go outside and run, to do something he once loved to do in his final moments, to run and exhaust himself waiting for death itself to envelop him to eternal rest. but he couldn't. there were notations and notes scattered in his head. quiet questions, head-shakes, and I told you so’s. all the things he’d said he would do when the time was right.

he glanced at the unopened box the size of his palm, the what if's surrounding the said item disappearing as the news reached his ears.

all of it morphed into black nothingness. until minho saw him. looking out of a window too from the complex across, watching it all fall to shit right outside, there was a glimpse of hope, of innocence, of endlessness. if only a little. he realized that, even in a dark and inevitable moment like this, he can want. that it’s possible for him to love while everything he once knew crumbled.

minho with a blanket on his arms headed to their meeting place. he had called a few people, the important ones anyway.

"we're heading to the park, said they were holding an event there. newt explained

"who's coming?" the line went silent for a few seconds, as the only thing he heard were footsteps.

"me, gally, ben, frypan, winston, clint, hell even teresa and brenda are here." minho couldn't help the smile appearing his lips as he heard their names.

"how is chuck handling it?" the line went silent again, longer than the first one.

"as great as a bloody kid could handle it, though he was happy that he could join us this time" a cheer sounded from Newts side of the call.

"what about you?"

minho arrived on the top of the hill, surprisingly there we no one else there, the others must've preferred being below the hill.

"i'm meeting with thomas."

"of course you bloody are." newt said, mimicking their normal bickering.

then it was silent, just the sound of footsteps and the wind, many unspoken words treading on them. "this is really it, huh?" newt whispered.

"this is it."

minho could feel something creeping up his throat, it would take his breath if he lets it free. "thank you, minho."

they could pry, open up but ... this was enough.

"thank you."

and the call ended.

minho finally arrived at their meeting place, and he let himself stare at the road below, it was packed although there was no movement. they must've gave up and abandoned their cars and sit on the sidewalks with the rest. what-ifs lingering in the air. it was a beautiful sight, even with the context of why.

"minho, over here!"

the sun was setting, an orange glow radiated from thomas like he was otherwordly. he was crouched next to a lone oak tree, dirt staining his knees as he dragged a finger across a leaf. "surprised you didn't run to get here." thomas said.

"nah, don't wanna run right now"

thomas nodded, his hugging his knees closer. "do you think flowers will grow under this tree?"

every time they meet here, thomas never fails to ask that question.

minho reply was always the same 'who knows, only time will tell.' but right now it's different.

his friend's eyes fluttered on the ground as he shrugged, "i dunno, it's doesn't matter much now, does it?"

thomas forced himself to grin, "maybe, but he might like the company anyway"

"minho?" thomas asked suddenly, "are you alright?"

it felt odd, talking to thomas like this. they were always playful and it was rare for one them to leave an opening for something deeper. the question couldn't be brushed away easily this time. it seemed the tears had come, washed over his eyes and gathered on the soil below. "not really." his voice shook.

thomas patted the ground next to him. minho sat down, ruining his new blue jeans in the process, the blanket in his bag long forgotten. "i guess i thought this wasn't a situation i needed to plan around ... i thought i had time but i wasted it all."

it was silent for a second before thomas spoke up, "you know what i've been thinking? in retrospect, everything i've done is lackluster and once i'm gone, it goes with me. but i think that's the point, the experience. even though compared to others i didn't achieve much, there were people that made it special. something had to lead up to it all, didn't it?"

he turned to minho before continuing, "for example, you ... i know i don't show it often but ... you are a pretty incredible instance in my world." he concluded.

"is that what you were telling the tree?" he joked as thomas slapped his arm.

"you know i'm not good at these things! ... i had to practice."

after the laughter died down, they bathed in the earthly slumber their city below resembled. the seconds before sleep where you let the unknown beckon you into the darkness. no more shouting, no more car horns blaring, just the rise and fall of chests. trees swayed slowly in the breeze as sunlight began to wane till it gave way to the moon.

then there was a hum, it started as weightless as the wind, until it picked up into a chorus of people singing. the corners of thomas’s mouth flicked up. minho couldn't help but follow the action. it was hard to clearly make out the words but it was a melody anyone would recognize. thomas began to sing along, minho let himself have this moment. glancing at him. all of the voices coming as one, it had him thinking, maybe the world wasn't as far apart as he'd once thought. "you should sing too." thomas suggested, beaming.

"you know i can't." minho shook his head.

"wow, you're going to lie even when a black hole is waiting to swallow us up."

minho opened his mouth to respond but thomas was quick to interject, "no excuses, there are no consequences for being prideful now."

that was ... true. but he still didn't do it. stubborn until the end of time, he used to proudly proclaim. thomas rolled his eyes and rose to his feet. "fine, let's do something else then." he said as he held out his hand for the other to take.

he took it, curious as to what he had planned. thomas guided him to the wide path and curled his arms around minho’s neck. minho stared back, not understanding. "put your hands on my waist, you dork."

minho hands fumbled to their place. "dancing? without music?"

thomas’s eyes softened as he tilted his head towards the lights, "we have the whole city singing for us."

"but i don't know what to do."

thomas brushed the hair out of minho’s face, "honestly, do what feels right."

they swayed while minho’s fingers wove through thomas’s hair. it was relaxing. they would occasionally stumble over nothing and blush when they made eye-contact for too long. it felt right. it didn't feel in the least bit juvenile or comical and soon they had become in sync. it was a song that he had on a worn-out record but minho swore he discovered something new to it. "the big finale?" thomas prodded, leading minho to cast him away from his body.

thomas spun out, the wind playing with his brown hair as quiet giggles surrounded him. he was rolled back into minho’s arms who held him tightly. thomas’s back was against his chest, the weight felt grounding in a way. "i think ... i need to tell you this." minho hesitated, letting thomas go.

"what is it?" thomas’s voice was timid, minho was used to hearing that tone from him but this felt different.

the gaze from the boy was disarming, almost as if he was as nervous as minho. the thoughts had crept up on restless evenings and left him tired from envisioning every outcome. it was terrifying and it was the reason minho was just now learning to acknowledge it. he tried to get his head clear, as his lips worked for the right words. "even if it's over, even when we turn to nothing, even if this moment is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, i want you to know that this is exactly where i want to be."

there were worse things than unrequited feelings, he knew that more than ever now. despite this, thomas looked at him with an expression that begged for minho to explain further. three concrete words on the tip of his tongue yet it never left its place. "i'm glad it's with you."

as those words fell into thomas’s ear, minho noticed the briefest flicker of fear and uncertainty. it disappeared though before minho even realized it had come. he felt something settle in his heart when thomas closed the space between them. "can i?"

the answer was simple. "yes."

thomas’s arms laid around minho’s neck, with the determination to never let him go again. his hands falling between a grip and a brush of fingers. when their lips met, euphoria spread out like a venomous bloom in his chest. it hurt like nothing he'd ever experienced before but it was beautiful. that moment could've been his end. the close of another abandoned storybook. thomas would've been every one of his moments if he had the option. in a trance, he'd almost neglected to breathe until the other boy moved, a tear dropping onto minho’s lap before he got away. but he wouldn't bring it up. he knew.

the stars shone brightly that night like they were giving them one last beautiful show. but even if the stars had long disappeared, minho had someone beside him who was much more captivating. his own cosmic mission.

thomas had his head rested on his’s shoulder, fabric softener clouding around him, the lavender scent had become home without even realizing it. he found himself ... content, lost in the peace, forgetting where he was, and what was looming. "if there is an afterlife, how long before i can have a moment like this again?" he thought out loud.

"you can wait. you can wait, my love." minho smiled, softly patting his head.

thomas leaned into the touch, happy to have seen him in this way. gentle, loving. "i like that, can you say it again?"

far off, the forest seemed to grow, the city lights and their glow blurring into thin lines. he felt himself finally relax. "my love."

then time dwindled, split, stretched until all of normality that remained was a silent, wispy breath.

#thominho #tmr #the maze runner #tmr thominho #minho #thomas #tmr thomas #tmr minho #minho tmr #i'm not sorry actually

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lovethisletters · 3 years

Text

The angel and hopelessness

Honestly I don't even know what this is, I think a one-shot with an omniscient narrator but also...I just think this is some sort of writing rant(? I didn't have any clear view of what I wanted to write and I sort of...just went along with it and this is the end result...I guess (?) Idk I'm confused.

TW: Implied depression, self-destructive behavior and angst.

Disclaimer/additional notes: this is a one-shot written with an omniscient narrator andMC doesn't make an appearance here.

This is not a Simeon×Lucifer btw, this is all just from a platonic perspective!

Also!!!! I highly recommend listening to the song featured below for a better more immersive experience!

Summary: Simeon deals with his own guilt left after the celestial war and tries to re-establish his relationship with the brothers, however he soon learns how much self-pity can blind one's perspective.

▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

“Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness.

Listen to it carefully.”

― Richard Bach

The mornings in the Devildom have always been dark, but today you wonder... is it that your heart has been heard by the clouds that cover the sky and they’ve had a little sympathy?

That fantasy seems to lessen your grief, but still, you can't smile like always; right now, your body feels too heavy… it just can't.

You are about to pray like every morning ... but for some reason you feel that the words you are trying to formulate will vanish between sobs as soon as they leave your mouth.

So you decide to lie down on the floor for a while.

“Simeon, you should rest a bit, otherwise, Luke and I are going to end up carrying you back to your room.”

Solomon's words resonate in your mind and you just remember the expression of pure concern you saw in Luke from the corner of your eye when the sorcerer mentioned your pitiful appearance.

You laughed it off like it wasn’t a big deal; but deep down you knew no one is going to believe that bullshit anymore.

At least…not after what happened.

A past such as yours can only be ignored for so long…especially when the ones who are part of it and you’ve hurt are right in front of you.

Call it nativity or overly optimistic but when you first herd you had been selected for the exchange program there was this one thought that completely took over your mind:

“Do what’s right.”

You hadn't spoken to the brothers in a long time and there was still so much left to say.

And you tried, you really did!

But every time they even felt that you were about to bring up the subject, they changed it or even started fighting over…whatever. All to prevent you from starting that fearsome conversation.

So you let it be.

“Perhaps If I use a different approach…”

They may not want to talk, but you can feel their emotions, it is your special talent after all. You can feel their pain and you know that even though they appear fine they have not yet healed.

You feel that you can drown in their hardships and every day it is more difficult to pretend that nothing is happening.

You try again, this time with more tact and respecting the space that has been given to you.

Inside you there is still the hope that one day everything will go back to the way it was before.

But...sooner or later you must understand that wounds like these will always be open.

"Lucifer! Wait! "

You pushed too far and now the little pieces of the puzzle you managed to connect are breaking apart once again.

“No, Simeon! I don’t need your pity!”

Everything was going great, the two of you where reminiscing about the past after Mammon mentioned a funny anecdote that made Lucifer laugh, but then…you had to ruin everything, didn’t you?

You had to mention her name.

Everyone in the room froze, yet you didn’t stop! You went on a ramble of how you wished things could’ve been different.

If it weren’t because Satan placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you from saying anything else, perhaps you would have missed the expression on his face.

And then you saw it.

Lucifer’s face twisted in anger, his eyes betraying him and threatening tears slipping from the corner of his eyes…

What a heartbreaking sight…who knew a demon could cry like that?...

“Lucifer! I’m sorry!”

The Demon stopped in his tracks, yet he didn’t dare to face you.

“I’m sorry…that I- I didn’t…do more, I’m sorry that I was there and didn’t said anything! I’m sorry for abandoning you!”

The words you’ve been holding since you came here finally slipped out with such ease yet so much pain you didn’t even realized you had started crying.

“I’m sorry, I truly am, I’ve should’ve done something…”

You took a step forward.

“But please, Lucifer, I don’t want to lose you again, brother.”

Silence, but then…a small and quiet “laugh” was heard.

“Brother, you say?”

His tone was tranquil yet his words where infected in such poisonous rage.

“Simeon, I can think of many words to describe you, but brother is no longer one of them.”

It ached; not only in your heart but in your memories and hopes.

“Lucifer…”

A whisper that intended to reach his hearth, yet it was lost and never found in this void of hopelessness.

“I never blamed you for it, I truly never did…It hurt me, yes, that you hadn’t joined us in our fight, in our grief, but never once I thought it was your fault.”

And slowly he turned once again towards you, his eyes hollow and devoid of any emotion.

“I never wanted to believe it, but I guess is true. Isn’t it, Simeon? Angels truly are selfish beings.”

There are no words to describe the horrid hit of truth. Fast and unforgiving of our own bubble.

“Don’t insult my sister’s memory with your self-centeredness.”

You don’t know when everyone left or how much time you stood there frozen, eyes lost in nothingness.

You only felt the small hand of Luke grasping your own and slowly guiding your zombie-like body towards the exit.

And now here you are, days later, unable to shake off those words now heavy in your mind; not allowing any thoughts to slip by.

But, how could you?

There was no lie in that demon’s words.

So caught up in your own feelings that you were unable to truly understand how others were hurting.

And you call yourself an angel?

A glance at the mirror in the side of your bed and you feel like now you can see it.

“We angels…truly are…pitiful beings.”

A truth that binds you in hopelessness…

▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️

If you find any grammatical errors let me know! I'm trying to improve my english and that would help me so so much!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be as fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway, thank you for reading!

#obey me simeon #obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #simeon x reader #om! simeon #om! fanfic #om! lucifer #lucifer x mc #obey me oneshot

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persephonessunflowers · 3 years

Text

A little batjokes fic I have been working on. It’s also on ao3 but I’m kind of at a loss of which direction to go with it at this point. So I figured I’d post it here for now until I figure it out .

I fell in love with an idea. A picture I had created that was never meant to be. There was never any possibility that we could be happy together. That a life where only the two of us existed could be possible. Not when every part of me craved the adrenaline from a night of violence and waking up to new scars that defined who I was. And you with your savior complex, thinking the whole world would fall if you went away. Needing the praise even in anonymity. Hiding the scars that defined you with a well-dressed suit. It could never be. But I would be a liar if I said every part of me didn’t ache for the possibility of existing.

Joker rolled over. His thoughts had once again turned the bat. He would never admit that he spent countless hours losing sleep considering the possibility of a normal life. One where his past had not led him to this place. One where he could casually run into a beautiful man while doing something completely mundane. Maybe walking down, the street, perhaps in a coffee shot, or even stealing passing glances on the subway. Finally, one would make a move. They would go on dates, share laughs, and slowly fall in love. He grabbed a pillow lying next to him a slammed it into his face, an attempt to eradicate these thoughts. The joker wasn’t a romantic. He was tyrannical, a leader, the bringer of chaos.At least in his mind this was how he chose to believe he was perceived. Sure, some would say he was insane, psychopathic, a cold-blooded killer, and well truthfully, he was these things. So, these romantic urges that kept coming over him where very detrimental to the brand that he had built around himself. For God’s sake if a hot intelligent blonde woman in a skintight suit who was utterly devoted to him never did it for him then why the hell was he fantasizing about a grown man in a cape. Joker groaned again because it wasn’t just any man in a cape, it was Bruce fucking Wayne. Leave it to him to fall for an eccentric billionaire with a savior complex and moral compass to match.

If you had told Joker a few months ago, the man he was caught in this never ending dance of justice with was Bruce Wayne he probably would have laughed in your face and depending on his mood that day, you might have also not survived the interaction. He did have a flare for being dramatic and something about senseless murder just made him positively giddy. Rumors have always spread in Gotham City’s underground. And why would they not, everyone wanted to know who was truly under the mask that continuously foiled their plans. Most wanted to know so that they could end him for good. Or at the least target those closest to him in order to prove a point. Joker had never particularly cared about the identity of his sworn enemy. He much preferred the tango the two performed without any outside views of who the other was. Both pushing each other to the right to the edge, waiting for the other to overstep their boundaries and go too far. Names could ruin that. There was something about the not knowing that added to the thrill of it all. That made the excitement of both men rise. Joker couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of it. But now he had name to the face behind the mask.

It had started as a relatively normal day, when Joker received word that a Mr. Bruce Wayne had been seen sneaking around one of Joker’s new warehouses. Of course, this had piqued his interest. Why was the elusive billionaire in such a bad area of Gotham, it’s almost like he’s asking to be robbed. It’s not as if he could blend in, everyone knew his face. And secondly the only ones in the know about this newest warehouse were Joker, his most trusted henchman R, Harley, and a certain bat who had found out and stopped by for a visit a week ago. Of course he had found nothing, and the camera only caught him for a moment before he flung one of those damned batarangs at it and every other one he found. Joker sighed, batbrain probably never even considered the expense Joker would have to incur to replace those. The warehouse was nothing, more of a safety net if he ever needed the space. Or more than likely it would be converted to a place for those who worked for him to stay. God knows the filthy animals couldn’t keep a living space to save their lives. And providing living arrangements, food, drugs, and booze was generally the best way he had found to keep street thugs loyal to you. He may be insane, but he wasn’t stupid. And of course, he knew word about his new endeavor would draw the bat in. If there was one thing batsy couldn’t resist it was a hot tip about a new diabolical plan the Joker was forming. And so, what if Joker had his henchman anonymously tip off Jim Gordon knowing he would immediately find a way to alert the bat. Sometimes you have to force fate to get what you desire. And that night what he desired was not a fight but just to watch batman in action.

From his hiding spot the Joker could see everything his bats did. He watched him canvas the area and could hear the frustrated huffs he let out every time he again came up with nothing. He watched as bats paced back and forth clearly trying to figure out what angle was being played. Listened as he radioed Gordon filling him in on the nothingness the warehouse held. They went back and forth wonder what plan was being devised for this place. God Joker could watch him forever. Studying his lips, the way his jaw clenched when he was unhappy. He longed to see his face, to touch him. On the other hand, that would ruin their game and Joker really really liked games. It was fascinating to him that even though the bat had found nothing he stayed there pacing. Glancing at the door every few moments. Joker almost wondered if the bat was waiting for him to show up. Did their little fights give the bat the same thrill Joker got? The way both of their adrenaline rose, their hearts beating fast, and their breathing getting deeper. The pain was so intoxicating and led to the ultimate pleasure. Nothing else could top it. But not tonight. Tonight, Joker wanted him to squirm. And squirm he did. In semi defeat, the bat sat down on a box in the corner. Hidden in the shadows waiting. He waited the entirety of the night, unaware that the Joker was sitting merely feet away. It wasn’t until light started to seep in that the bat finally sauntered away. It was curious. Surely there was other crime going on in Gotham. Honestly when wasn’t there crime in Gotham, the city was a cesspool of it. He’d even heard tell of a heist the Penguin was planning that night. And surely Bats had been made aware of that. And yet he never left the warehouse.

Snapping back to the present Joker frowned at the tingly feeling the memory had given him. Now onto the pressing issue of why Bruce Wayne was at his warehouse and how he knew it was there. He gathered himself, choosing his most basic suit. It was navy blue and had none of the flare that he had come to appreciate. He also forewent applying his face makeup to appear more normal. After a moments thought he also chose to grab his sunglasses, gloves, and a hat in an attempt to slightly disguise himself. He doubted this would do much as he slid a hand across the white skin of his face. It was an aspect of himself that he struggled to hide. It was why he preferred the night over day. In the darkness he could appear normal, avoiding the judgmental eyes that the daylight cast. He had learned throughout the years of course. Purchased wigs and learned how to properly put them on so they looked real, he had found contacts that closely matched the color his eyes had once been. But he was unable to find anything for the skin. He had tried foundations but none of them worked. He often questioned if it was due to the acid, this led to a spiral of remembering the events that caused him to fall. He never spent to long considering it otherwise his mind began to drift to a dark place. A place that scared even him, one where he could feel his mental state slipping. Slowly succumbing fully to the madness. Joker shook his head, bringing himself back to reality. After a final glance in the mirror, he slipped out of his apartment to find an available car. He hoped Wayne would still be there, thankfully it was only about a 10-minute drive from his place. He had made this decision deliberately hoping that no one would consider he lived close to his investments and would rather stay far away from them to avoid suspicion. Once in the garage, he chose a simple black car and started the drive, preparing for a confrontation with the treasure of Gotham, Bruce Wayne. As Joker pulled into the warehouse drive, he could see a small blue car parked not far off in the distance. It was pulled off to the side of the road just slightly, he assumed the placement was meant to make it look like the car had broken down there but due to the current situation it seemed like it may be Mr. Wayne’s. He pondered whether he should go search the car before heading to the warehouse, ultimately deciding against it in case Wayne decided to stop whatever he was doing and head back. Joker put his car in park and turned off the engine. He felt it best not to alert the man breaking into his building. As he walked up the gravel, almost by divine intervention a certain someone was crawling out of one of the first story windows.

“Uhm, excuse me sir. I don’t usually like finding unknown men crawling out of my buildings.” it seemed best not to start off too accusatory in case there was a valid reason a billionaire was snooping around his property.

“Oh, uhm, of course I am so sorry about this.” He stopped and cleared out his throat. “I am Bruce Wayne, I uh wasn’t aware that someone had purchased this property. I had been informed it was for sale and wanted to check it out to see if it would be a good space for some new developments at Wayne Industry.”

Wayne held out his hand and Joker realized he intended for them to shake hands. How disgustingly formal. He slowly reached out a gloved hand to shake, watching as the man’s hand nearly covered his own. The strong grasp jolted through Joker and he quickly pulled away wiping the glove on his pants as if this would establish some kind of unspoken boundary between the two. Joker kept his gaze on the man, there was something so familiar about him. Maybe he was making it up it was completely feasible that he had just seen an interview the man was in. His excuse was reasonable as well. The property had only been off the market 2 weeks at most, but why bother sneaking into it and distancing your vehicle from the building?

“Oh, I see. I’m Jack. Jack…Sawyer. Do you always examine potential investments by climbing through the windows?”

The man’s face reddened. “The uh, the door was jammed and when I was assessing the outside of the building, I noticed one of the windows was ajar and figured it wouldn’t hurt to use that as an entry.”

“Hmm understandable. Well, I would be happy to give you a tour of the building, but I am afraid that it has already been purchased by me, so it would be no use to your company endeavors.”

Clearly embarrassed by having been caught the man stood there fidgeting. His jaw clenching and unclenching. His eyes darting to the gate. He wasn’t scared, no Joker knew fear, and this was not it. Nervous perhaps? Anxious? Something was off but Joker couldn’t quite place it. His voice, his mouth something about it called to Joker.

There was a long uncomfortable pause before Wayne looked at Joker and said, “Yeah, I…I would love a tour. Do you have any plans for the building?”

Joker hadn’t expected this. It was more of pleasant offering rather than one he actually wanted to do. But, maybe during the tour he could pinpoint what it was about this man exactly.

“I’m not really much of a planner Mr. Wayne. To be honest the price of the building was such a steal I couldn’t pass it up. I’m sure you understand that you don’t become a billionaire by spending recklessly now do you? I am considering using it as a storage facility. I own a bar you see and the storage capacity there is really lacking so I figured why not buy a cheap warehouse.”

The man seemed genuinely taken aback by this statement. His jaw clenching again. His eyes searching Jokers face as if he was trying to pull something out of him. Joker stared back, his eyes never leaving Wayne’s. It was as if they were locked in a battle only Joker wasn’t sure what exactly they were battling for. Surely Bruce Wayne wasn’t so pressed for a warehouse building that he was going to come for some lowly bar owner. And that was when it clicked. Jokers’ eyes broke the stare and fell to the man’s clenched jaw. He knew that clench. He knew that mouth. As if he hadn’t fantasized about those lips on him for months now. Bruce fucking Wayne was Batman, unbelievable. In his surprise he let out a not-so-subtle gasp.

“Are…are you okay Mr. Sawyer?”

“I uh oh yes of course, sometimes my mind escapes me, I suffered an accident sometime ago and the effects seem to pop up at the most inopportune times.”

Wayne dropped his gaze and shifted uncomfortably. “You said you owned a bar. What’s the name of it maybe I’ve visited there?”

“Oh, I highly doubt that Mr. Wayne. It doesn’t usually bring in” he paused looking the man up and down “your type, but….If you’re ever feeling frisky, it’s called The White Knight.”

Joker stopped to look at the man after saying this. He knew damn well that Batman had no idea of the existence of this place. He had undergone every security measure to ensure so. But he knew that this would elicit a response from the bats. How could it not? The Joker owning a secret bar that batsy hadn’t been informed about, on top of the bar being a mockery of his title. It would make Batman seethe.

Wayne’s eyes darkened and his nostrils flared, it was slight, but it was enough for Joker to confirm what he already knew.

“Thank you for the offer to show me the building Mr. Sawyer, but I’m sorry I just realized I have to go.” he glanced quickly at his watch, “I forget I had a meeting to attend. This has truly been an enlightening afternoon.”

“I agree Mr. Wayne, it certainly has been. Are you sure you don’t want a quick tour?”

“No, uh thank you but no. I truly have to go.” And with that Joker watched the man saunter down the driveway. He pulled off his glasses and stared after the man. This newfound information complicated things but it also gave Joker leverage and God knows Joker liked having leverage.

What to do with this leverage? He could let it slip…no…no he didn’t like that. Freely handing out this precious information to those lowly Neanderthals. No, they would go after him, and while Batman would never stand down, they would probably kill him. The bat would die at the feet of those he spent so long pursuing. He grimaced picturing the scene. He couldn’t let them kill Batman. Batman was his. Joker felt that nagging voice in his head again, the one he constantly tried to keep at bay with Scarecrow’s medication.

if anyone is going to kill the bat it’s going to be you right?? You could never let anyone take him from you. He’s yours, yours yours. HAHAHAHAHA.

He took his hands, slamming them to his ears. “Shut up, shut up, shut up I do not want to kill him.”

Of course not, maybe just torture him a little bit until you can’t stop, poor Joker always unable to prevent yourself from going to far.. Drag the knife across his throat, cutting a tad too deep. Tie him up. Let him bleed out while watching you perform. That’s what you want isn’t it? For the bat to bleed, his pretty red blood spilling across the floor. And as he falls to the ground ceasing to exist so does his deluded version of Gotham. You, standing strong watching the city succumb to crime and destruction. Knowing they will not mourn him. Gotham doesn’t care. Gotham feeds on destruction, chaos, and the ruin of its citizens. If you’re born here you don’t stand a chance. There is no good in Gotham, so you must kill the only thing that believes it exist. Kill the bats, Kill the bats, Kill the bats.

He felt his mouth curving up into a terrifying smile as a fit of giggles erupted from his mouth HAHAHAHAHA.

His hands fell from his ears to clasp over his mouth, an attempt to silence, well really everything. After a few minutes, the laughter subsided, and the thoughts quieted. He sank to ground resting his chin on the top of his knees. His faced ached from the experience as it usually did, tears began to well in his eyes, a product of self-hatred, anger, and sadness.

He didn’t want the bat to die. Or…or maybe he did. Things would be far less complicated if a certain dark knight wasn’t involved. Unfortunately, a part of him wanted to be held by the knight. His slight framed wrapped in the strong arms of his enemy. Letting his body go limp as he breathed in the comforting smell. Hands running through his hair. Soft whispers trying to convince him that the world isn’t all bad. But it is isn’t it? There’s no good here, no God exists because if he did, he would surely drown this city. This hell on Earth, putrid and reeking of sin. Never allowing happiness to live within its borders. Joker pulled himself upright and violently wiped away the tears that had covered his face. He was the goddam Joker not some pathetic schoolboy with the luxury of pathetically crushing on the most popular boy in the grade. Brushing off his pants from sitting on the ground he began to stroll back to his car. Tonight, he would choose chaos. Perhaps a robbery he hadn’t performed one of those in a long while. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Harley to get the men prepped and to choose a nice jewelry store for their night out. Yes, a robbery sounded splendid. Maybe tomorrow he would figure out what to do with Mr. Wayne. Or maybe he would do nothing at all, just keep the information in his pocket. After all what was the point in ruining their game?

"Mr. J, if you don't mind me saying, you're uh heart didn't seem to be all into the score last night..." Harley's eyes didn't quite meet us. No doubt they were fearing the repercussion these words would bring. She would never say it but she liked the anticipation, the not knowing what was coming. Perhaps she even liked the pain when it came. But, perceptive as ever she was correct.

Sighing Joker looked over at her. "Harley I've told you time and time again please do not call me that. Just Jack is fine. Please just Jack. I was merely distracted last night. There's some financials issues with the club that I need to work out."

She walked over to him, placing one hand on his. The other at her side twitching to cup his face, knowing he would withdraw if she did. "I can't call you Jack anymore, it's too...personal." Then she jumped back and just like that her mood changed and smile erupted on her face "Besides Mr. J is so much more fun to say, wouldn't you agree? It gives you authority and I love a man who has power." The deviousness written across her face.

"Damn it Harley. Then call me Mr. Napier if you insist on acting this way about it. Also cut the showbiz act. It makes you seem desperate and pathetic." He knew the words would sting her. He wanted it too. He hated her for bringing out the worst in him. But that nagging voice loved her for it. Together the two could be unstoppable, maniacal. It's why he had broke it off. She was smart, brilliant even. She knew what his inside voice wanted and she knew how to provoke it out of him because in that world at least they are together. Part of him wanted to snap her neck and that be the end of it. And yet another part knew he could never do that because he cared for her in the way only two people with so much history and tragedy could. His gaze fell to her stomach, wondering what could have been. "Leave me alone Ms. Quinzel, your presence is pissing me off."

Tears gathered in her eyes as she turned to leave the room, slamming the door for effect.

He winced at the sound. Going after her would just provoke her wrath and he didn't have the energy to deal with that. It's best to give it a few days. He shouldn't have lashed out at her. He was frustrated. The bat had failed to show up last night, which meant the thrill he normally got from nights like that was nonexistent.

There was no point feeling sorry for himself. It never led to any place good. He stood up grabbed his jacket and headed for he bar. At the very least he could use this energy to get something done and for the sake of his workers hope that none of them were stupid enough to tantalize him tonight. His bloodlust was encompassing him and anything could set him off at this point.

The walk from his apartment to the bar wasn't a far one but the cold air made it seem like miles. Joker shivered trying to shake the chill that encompassed him. Gotham was always cold. It didn't matter what time of year it was. Sure the air warmed but you could still feel the breeze nipping at you, waiting to drop. He glanced at the sky, dusk was settling. It didn't matter, the sun never quite shown here in Gotham either. It was gray, just consistently gray. But it never seemed to bother any one else, or at least not that he had noticed. It's where his flare for colors came from, he wanted to break away from the gray.

He was merely feet away from the opening of the bar, the music creeped onto the otherwise silent street. He smirked, the song playing was one of his favorites. He leaned against the brick wall feeling the vibrations of the loud speak reverberate through calming him. He closed his eyes and just listened. Sighing as the song ended he felt a little better. Perhaps he would just go to his upstairs room and let the music take him away for the night. He would never admit the sway the sounds had over him. Finding comfort in the beats a rock song would produce.

A rustling sound came from the doorway, making him straighten quickly, keeping his face a blank canvas. He could already hear the gossip from his men if one of them found him out here basking in the sound of the music. Especially, with how he talked about it in front of them. Calling it a pointless waste. No. His entire personality was to remain hidden. To them he was a maniac, always angry, and mere moments away from snapping. Everything was jokes and crime. Not an entirely wrong synopsis but he was never to be seen as human, because that meant weakness and he would never again be seen as weak.

Fortunately, this was just a drunk patron stumbling his way out. In his drunken state the man couldn't particularly walk straight and managed to trip over his feet, his face colliding with the Joker shoulders. Finally a reason to have some fun. In less than a second Joker twisted away and wrapped his hand around the patrons throat, with full force he pushed him into the wall. The mans head collided with the brick, a sickening thud could be heard. Joker smirked, even drunk he could feel the mans fear radiating off of him. His adrenaline keeping him alert. His eyes screaming for help in ways his mouth could not. It was heaven. Joker leaned into the man, "Didn't your mother ever teach you that you should watch where you're walking?" He could feel his smile widening

"I.....I......uh.....I....I'm sorry sir." He gasped between words. Jokers fingers were wrapped so tightly around his neck it was a miracle he was able to get any words out all. With a glance down, Joker could see that the man had wet himself. Well this is no fun, the poor sap isn't even going to fight back. His smiled faltered where's the fun in that?

Just kill him, he isn’t worth anything. No one would miss him. Snap his neck, feel his bones crush beneath your strength. Come on you know you want to. You want to feel that rush. See the light as it drains from his eyes. Pleading until the very last second.

Joke could feel his smile widening again. His fingers twitched as he started to laugh. The man's eyes grew large with realization. He knew that laugh. All of Gotham knew that laugh. His body started to shake as tears streamed down his face.

See how pathetic he is. He doesn't deserve to live. You know you want the high this will give you.

And with that he gave in. His fingers tightened and with a final gurgle the mans will gave and his body slumped. The Joker let go and gasped at the feeling it gave him. He was positively giddy. Perhaps this wasn't such a bad day after all. He pulled out his phone and called one of his men to come dispose of the body. He didn't need anyone poking around his bar. A worker came out the side door and Joker motioned him over.

The worker glanced briefly at the body "Geez boss what'd he do to you?"

With a sneer Joker spat back "Not that it's any of your business but he bumped into me. Now get rid of the scum."

Recognizing his boss's mood the man quickly grabbed the body and retreated.

Joker turned away walking into the bar. He was ready to have some fun.

#batman x joker #batjokes #batman #joker #harley quinn #jack napier #bruce wayne #enemies #enemies to lovers #normal #yearning #unrequited pining #unrequited love #writing

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idjitlili · 3 years

Text

I, I will be king.(II)

Din Djarin x reader.

Part 1. Masterlist.

Summary:Din Djarins feelings get in the way, when you reach your master once again.Din finally drops you off with your master, before he leaves for what seems for months. Second part and last part.

Word count:4497

Warnings: confusing? Honestly comparing din to a fridge isn't the best thing I've wrote.

A/n: OH AND this is the finished request for anonymous and @elkhead-art sorry it too so long.

As the sound of nothingness caused your eyes to slowly awake along with your consciousness, dark surrounded you. A small orange light was only to be seen outside. You were warm, and comfortable laying in a bed. You recognised the texture of the blankets, the outline of the room. This wasn't anyone's room, it was yours.

Almost felt like you had dreamt the past few months, you had never left Luke, and never met the Mandalorian. But that was false, it had all happened, you were now back on Ahch-To. You had made it, you wondered if Mando was still here.

On Ahch-To you lived in a small hut thing, so did Luke and so would Grogu. The island surrounded by water, no sand not much anyways, thankfully. Blue milk? We do not speak of that.

Soon enough you were wide awake,your feet had carried you outside, the atmosphere pitch black except the glowing orange in the distance where two figures sat.

"Luke?" The outlines of the bodies began to clear, it was clearly Luke and Mando with Grogu sat in his lap. Their heads turned to you, Luke's lips twitching up , he had stood up quickly making his way to you. "Padawan, I have missed you." Pulling you into a tight hug, his arms around your shoulders, you head dug into his chest. "What about no attachments, master?"

Scoffing Luke had placed his hands on your shoulders to look you directly in the eye. "That was very unwise, I told you to stay here for a reason, now you have months worth of teaching to catch up on."

"Sorry? I have learnt many lessons with the Mandalorian, we even met some other Mandalorians and guess what? They had met Anakin Skywalker , Obi-wan, when he was so very handsome, and Ahsoka. Plus, Mando has met Ahsoka , recently as well." You sat beside Mando, in front of the fire, Luke on one side and him on the other.

"Sounds like you had a good time, I hope you didn't have a great time." You weren't sure what Luke was trying to imply but you didn't care, your eyes had caught the green creature in Mando's lap. His hand reaching for you, offering your figure for him , his tiny green hand clutching it, though he could talk to you through the force, you already knew his name and he knew yours.

Grogu had stood up, shuffling back onto Mando's other thigh, bringing your hand with him. All three of you watched his movements. Mando's hand against his thigh, whilst the his other was behind Grogu in case he fell. His breath hitched when Grogu reached down and gripped his finger. You didn't dare pull your hand from Grogu, as he pulled your hands together. Yours and Mando's finger tips touching, well his gloved finger tips.

Grogu had let go of your hands, looking at each of you, before interlacing his hands together. You didn't even get a chance to think about it, Mando had slid his fingers in between yours, closing them together. The small creature smiled and sat back on Mando's leg. Your hand placed on Mando's leg still locked with his. Luke hadn't said anything, Grogu getting up a second later walking towards him, no doubt that was him.

For what was a couple of hours, your hand stayed against the warmth of the Mandalorians glove. All until the early hours of day, you had stayed up talking with them, assuming he wanted as much time with Grogu as he could.

In which that point he had exuded to leave, following him to his now repaired ship, thanks to the other Mandalorians.

Luke had made you look away, as the Mandalorian removed his helmet, to say goodbye to Grogu. That was their goodbye, Grogu knew that. Not long after that, Grogu was handed back to Luke, who step away, enabling you somewhat of privacy.

"Goodbye, Mando."

"My name is Din Djarin,"

"Oh wow, so your name isn't Mando? That's actually great, I prefer Din." A nod of his head and he was gone, felt strange, like he didn't care anymore but why would he give you his name?

You hadn't seen him for months, yet your heart-ached for him, it was stupid you weren't supposed to feel like this. Nothing would happen anyways, he was a Mandalorian you a Jedi, it wasn't supposed to be. Figuring Din had moved down on, he knew he couldn't keep Grogu, so he was trying forget. But that was not what he was doing, he wasn't abandoning Grogu no, he was trying to reclaim Mandalore.

147 days since you had last seen Din Djarin, you were shipped off by Luke's request this time. Alone. For how long you didn't know, an undercover mission that could be quick or could take a long time , just luck. Where you were sent was all but unfamiliar to you, uncover as bounty Hunter. Made your stomach flip, you'd be working for Boba Fett, who now had complete control of The hurts palace. Luke had sent you to recover a Jedi that was being hunted.

Instead of your dark pants, long sleeve that you'd wear under your robes. (Yeah, basically Luke got the better outfits, you were fitted into formal Jedi wear.) Now wearing fitted armour that covered your whole body like Din's, a helmet upon your head, dressed in dark colours. The helmet was confining , making you sweat a lot. How did Din do that all day?

You weren't sure how Luke managed to get you employed by Boba, did he just write up what is the equivalent to a Cv? Wasn't that your job , literally, you aren't supposed to get someone else to do it. 'Oh yes, I y/n am certain excellent at slicing, killing, capturing Bounties.' No, not killing that was the last resort. But, you would be able to capture bounties, so you'd be fine.

As long as you got the first bounty back to him, you would've secured the job. Luke had given you a ship to use, it was small, pre empire. Previously some junk from Tatooine, that Luke had brought to Ahch-too, and eventually you both repaired it.

With a ship and blasters, no lightsaber, you easily caught your first bounty and were in the job. Blasters seemed unpredictable, why does everyone miss? Poor design.

For the four months you had been with Boba, well working for him, sure he had something going on with Fennec. Not that you could blame her, if Rex or fives was there and young, I'd bone, and I am total virgin. Din had been back to Ahch, Luke making up some excuse about being on supply run. And you were Boba Fett's best bounty hunter.

You were sent to Mandalore, all you was given was the location, and that it was a huge bounty for this creature dead or alive. The location wasn't even pinpoint just a part of the planet. You knew of this planet, well heard of it. Oh yes, like you'd see Din there. Not Surprising Boba wouldn't go himself.

"How will I know I've found them, then?"

"You'll know." The nod of his helmet, as he held his leg swung over the side of the chair. Not like when other bounty hunters would go in, his posture was always rigid, his hand sat upon his thighs. Fennec was always present as well, but not when you'd arrive. Boba would send her out. A nod from your helmet as you turned on your feet to leave.

"Wait," stopping before you had even taken a step, turning back to Fett. Another glance over him made it clear, he was presenting himself to you, his legs spread like that wasn't for nothing.

"Can I see what you look like?" You didn't even know what Boba looked like, but you had heard of the clones, and Obi-wan had told you about them , and how he was one of the only ones to survive. Yeah, Luke had finally taken you to the place where completely the trials that allowed you to speak to the 'dead'.

Bringing up your gloved hands to your helmet, pulling it off your head slowly. Squinting your eyes slightly as they adjusted to the lighting. Your y/c eyes fluttering to Boba who just sat there nodding at you, your helmet hooked under your arm.

"See you soon, l/n."

"Goodbye, Fett."

With that you were headed to Mandalore with barely any knowledge of the planet, only with hope that you'd be okay. 'I don't believe in luck we make our own luck."

Worried that you'd land on the planet and be shot, oh yes just a pre empire ship landing on your planet. Not like Hera almost died for talking. Yet, you thought nothing about someone waiting when you landed on the hot planet with ease. Though, most of the planet was inhospitable there was still some life left. A doom over the city of Sundari, in the distance.

Stepping from your ship into the atmosphere, on the edge of the ramp. Closing your eyes briefly s your stretched your arms over your head, clenching your fists closed at the same time. Satisfaction washed of you for a long moment. Yeah, that didn't last long when the sound of multiple mechanical surrounded you quickly.

Sighing as you opened your eyes again, the shape light of the planet dimmed by the filter on your helmet. Just as Suspected 4 Mandalorians surrounding, upholstering your blaster tossing it into the dirt in front of you. Lifting your eye hands above your head. Could only hope, that they thought you were a man, but you had placed your lightsaber dangerously in the front of your pants. With the plate of armour placed over that to conceal it further.

You dared not speak, maybe you'd pretend you had your tongue cut out, no , that wouldn't work they would check. You heard of Ezra Bridger maybe you'd pretend to be a hutt, no, no you didn't have a tail.

"State your business." You didn't recognise the voice of the Mandalorian definitely wasn't Din's. Lowering your hands slowly to place them on your hips, changing your whole posture.

"Han solo, I'm here looking for my wookie."

"Solo? Where's your ship then?" Scoffing at the Mandalorian, turning around and pointing to your ship.

"No, the Falcon,"

"Oh, so what you're a fan? Ships don't last forever." You were supposed to be trying to conceal your voice, but clearly that wasn't working. Your hands now cuffed behind your back, pushed onto ship and off you went to an unknown destination. Just maybe that Han Solo thing hadn't worked? Two of the Mandalorians stayed in the back of the ship, what you'd describe as the back of a police van sort of thing. Their eyes glued to you , as you sat in front of them.Only the humming from the ship could be heard, you weren't leaving the planet but travelling towards Sundari.

Your helmet still upon your head as they pulled you out of the ship by your underarms , dragging you. The lightsaber slipping in your pants slightly, you hoped that it wouldn't fall into you leg, looking like you had shat yourself. Feet scraping against the stone path , looked as if you on a plaza, the area around built up. Large steps leading to watch you could describe as a palace, it was huge. Covered with cubist murals of Mandalorians.

No, this couldn't be what Luke sent you for? You thought you were in search of Jedi's not more Mandalorians. You hoped that they weren't taking you to their leader, was that Darth Maul still? No, he's dead? Ugh. If they searched you you'd be dead, if they took your helmet off you'd be dead. It was no surprise you had been seen with Luke by the empire causing trouble. Depending whether they were still a neutral system.

One of the Mandalorians from the pair that walked behind you as you were held, had made their way to the front of the group. Speaking into the com link on their right arm, in a language that you could only guess was Mando'a. Stood at the bottom of the steps waiting for a brief moment, before the huge metal doors were opened agonisingly slow. Basically Aragorn walking through those doors at Helms deep without Aragorn or anyone walking through the door.

With that, no one came out of the doors but you were pulled in the stairs and through the doors. Lead into a room with a throne? Right, no more politicians since Satine. Surprising that the room wasn't just made out complete Beskar, more pretty windows carpets , paint, paintings, Chairs , food. Wow, they must of killed a Pirate, wasn't Mandalore broke?

In the centre of the room, a man stood, in tight fitted clothes, furs, heavy boots, a weapon upon his belt, sorry two bone a blaster the other hidden from your sight. His face aged like wine, squishy, dark brown eyes locked onto yours. If his eyes were to be compared to something, it would be that chocolate river from Willy Wonka. No fat kid in it, but a a handsome man surrounded it. Soft brunette curls on his head, wrinkles at the edges of his eyes.

"This one claims to be 'Han Solo' " The man only nodded at the Mandalorian dismissing them, the doors shut behind you loudly. Turning to face you completely the man sat upon his Throne .

"So, you fought with the Rebel Alliance." That voice, it was familiar yet you didn't recognise his face. Maybe he was Luke's friend that he'd often talk to , or just someone who had made a fuss at a bar. Instead of responding verbally you had just nodded too.

"Right, what rank, Han."

"I'm sorry, I would prefer if you called me by my title." Straightening your posture , bulking yourself.

"Oh? And what would that be?" The smirk upon that mans fave indicated be was having too much fun. You were glad your helmet had a modulator.

"Captain, commander or yours." The smirk had dropped from his face, lips slightly parted, clearly flustered, only for a moment before his face went back to smouldering.

"You clearly are not who you say are. Until you tell me your purpose here I cannot allow you to leave."

You were stuck in some sort of cell, hundreds of other cells surrounding you. It looked like they had put you into the one connected to the wall of the building. Nor had they searched you again. Why? All they did was take your blaster. He didn't even try , he just shoved you into a cell, not him directly but he didn't like you or was going to sell you off to someone. Bounty hunters didn't sway the hearts of many.

So, what did you do? Grabbed your lightsaber from your pants cut through the wall, and ran for your life. Why it wasn't made out of beskar you didn't Know. Calling R2 from your com link, oh yes Luke had sent him with you to watch over you. Your breath heavy as you ran through the city that was covered with metal, seemed like no end. But you could t just stop and wait for R2 you weren't even sure of he could get through.

The shooting at your feet as you ran for the doors out of the city, igniting your lightsaber and throwing it the doors switches. Quickly return your lightsaber to your hand before making it to the door. The sound of their jet packs and firing dying down as you turn to face them. Stood in a line face you as you exit slowly. Your light saver back in your belt , your arms up to your shoulders as you walked backwards.

"This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caug-" Okay, you had miscalculated you weren't planning on being grabbed from behind and pulled into a ship. The bright light of the inside of the side around you as the ramp was quickly slammed shit as you landed on the floor with a thump. This was your ship, but it wasn't R2 who you heard breathing heavily behind you.

Ahsoka Tano on your ship, Boba fett sent for her and she ended up capturing you instead. Not capturing but saving you , just said that for dramatic affect . You weren't sent to Boba for Mandalorians no of course not , if Luke wanted that he'd call Din.

"Luke skywalker? Is your master?" Her hands on her hips as you sat in the pilots chair. She wasn't particularly fond on going with you but she did , why? That was unsure. The only reason she gave was her ship was destroyed on the planet and would not say why she was there either. Not that it was your business.

"Yes, yes he is."

"Right."

With that you were heading back to Ahch-too but of course it's never that simple. Instead Boba Fett had taken himself out of Tatooine to personally come meet you with the bounty that he knew you had. In fact it ended up like the Hobbit the battle of the five armies, all in space just floating. Mandalorians and Boba attached to your ship.

Both Boba Fett, and the Mandalorians entering the cockpit at the same time, turning around in your chair with a squeak. Sighing. A mandalorian stepping forward to look at Ahsoka who now stood , her fingers besides her lightsaber eyeing the company.

"Ahsoka?" Though she did not reply just stood her ground, you didn't dare to move , this was a huge mess. The mandalorian that you assumed was king now in armour that seemed familiar but all of them looked alike to be honest. At least the clones had more style, and they didn't look alike.

"What are doing with Han Solo?"

Fett scoffed looking at you briefly before turning to Mandalorian in blue. "That's not solo, I would know he tried to kill me."

"I would kill you too, Clone." Glaring at the Mandalorian it seemed that their was something you were missing, their guns were all lowered, yet Ahsoka still stood her ground. Like she would trust anyone after what she had been through.

"As I was saying, that is not Solo. This my best bounty Hunter, l/n. She caught a Je- why is she not in carbonite?"

"Uhm, about that Boba..." Though your explanation was cut short again, Boba's eyes did not leave yours, your cheeks felt hot under your helmet, this was R2 he allowed them to board.

"Did you not know? Your best bounty Hunter is a Jedi." These Mandalorians we're really sucky, they just wouldn't piss off, maybe if Mando was here he'd kill them, no , he wouldn't kill his own kind. Ugh, if you had been alive when Ahsoka was young, she'd cut their heads of with no hesitation, oh but not clones.

"Yeah, that wasn't hard to see, my lightsaber was shoved down my pants, you Mandalorians suck, didn't know I was Jedi until you saw me waving around a lightsaber. Ironic." It seemed like Ahsoka had enough, and began the engine again, on your way back to Ahch."Down your trousers, really?"

"No, my underwear." Did that sound sarcastic?

You hadn't meant to bring a party with you to Luke but here you were on the way ack home with some Mandalorians and Boba Fett. Everyone had calmed down, waiting to arrive somewhere, with no discussion about it. Was this a horrible choice endangering Grogu probably. So, you had gotten Bobas attention bringing him out of the cockpit and into a room. Well, the only over rooms were the bathroom and your small sleeping area.

"Well, what is it?"

"Uhm, just that I am no longer working for you, sorry and yeah I don't think you should stay."

"Oh, just lovely you are. Though, I am not sure you ar- were my best bounty hunt, you'll have to take the helmet off." What was with this guy and wanting to see your facc. Sighing you pulled your helmet from your face slowly, the cold air slapping you as your hair fell from the helmet messy. (If you have no hair then your head was looking polished and hot like Dwayne Johnson.)

Though yet again, you could not see his face, well until he pulled his off too. A deep laugh erupted from his lips as he smiled at you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"It is you."

Neither of you had notice Bo-Katan walking by after doing her business, seriously in your ship? Not that you'd notice it was her without seeing she got new armour. Oh, you know she went straight to tell her king.

So, after your short interaction with Boba, who decided he'd leave but not yet to much of your dislike. Soon as you stepped into the cockpit , the bigger framed Mandalorian was in front you, he wanted something. Looking passed him for Ahsoka who was busy with the control panel. Everyone talking to each other. Your throat itchy, this was not pleasant.

"You know you remind me of a fridge."

His visor stuck upon your face no, the silence from him, even his breathing did not stop you you. You were uncomfortable but when he wasn't speaking what were you supposed to do?

"Well, maybe a broken one because you hold yogurt but it's warm." Again, he did not respond just stared you down.

"Beca-"

"Yes, I understand." The same modified voice as you remembered, yet you still felt intimidated still.

"Oh, not funny not then?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"That I'm not Han Solo?" Grabbing your upper arm as he scoffed pulling you towards his empty ship connected to yours. You'd only hope that if you were murdered right now, that Luke would have this surge of anger like his father and kill this man. 'Kenobi!' Okay, it just felt like it needed to be Maul rage not a 'oh no, I strangled my wife pretty much and wondered how she died and now I am mad.' Too bad Mail didn't run Anakin over when he had the chance.

"Take the helmet off."

"No."

"Take it off." His feet travelling closer to you as his voice got sterner and slower. Wishing Din was here to tell this man about boundaries.

"Get lost, why are you even here? Chasing someone that didn't do anything wrong. You're a dick for king , go home and fix your ugly planet , sperm bank." You bad went to push passed him, his frame was sturdy, and before you could he had your wrists in his hands. Not fighting him, even though you could easily break free his hold was gentle. Looking up to the t of his visor.

"Do you not recognise me?" You wanted to say yeah you kidnapped me. But it was clear from the soft tone in his voice that wasn't it. You had be oblivious, how could you over look everything. The voice, the Mandalorians, a king , was this a joke from Ahsoka? Maybe she was more like than Anakin than you had been lead to think. His hands dropped from your wrists, your hands rested on the sides of his helmet. A soft click of his helmet, pulling it up slowly.

But as you had began to lift it up, he had grabbed it from you quickly throwing it behind him with a thud.His cinnamon caramel sand, shiny coconut , beach waved, auburn oven baked curls softly placed upon his head. Stubble littering his jaw like grass, his Willy wonka chocolate fountain eyes glazing on you softly. T-this was the king of Mandalore, b-but no this couldn't be , no he wouldn't take his helmet off in front you? Would he?

Your hands now resting on the sides of your helmet, click , pulling up the helmet just as you had done previously without interruption. A sigh from his mouth as caught a glimpse of your face. Before your helmet dropped the floor , he had pulled you into a tight embrace.

"Don't tell me this whole time , I've been like these Mandalorians suck, I wish Din was here."

Pulling from Din to look at him, through you shouldn't have , your palm was pressed against his stubbles cheek.

“Oh,”

“Yeah, I had lightsaber as dick how did you not notice? Plus that pick up line, seriously?” Your hand was no longer one Din’s face, partly because it had became sweaty too quick and your arm was aching.

“Hm, if I knew it was you then I would’ve accepted.” Accepted what? The pick up line.. your face was hot, why couldn’t he say he heard Han Solo was a player and didn’t want his heart broken? Instead his hands were interwoven with yours. I feel like this a David Bowie as Jareth moment.

“P-pardon?” Your hands were dropped, Din had turned to pick up his helmet.

“You’re with him.”

“I’m with you?”

“No you are involved with Fett.”

“Sorry? I worked for him as bounty Hunter not a personal hustler.” But Din continued to put his helmet on unamused, walking out the door, but you had decided the best idea . Doesn’t matter if your weight , Din was strong. If he had to he’d be able to carry a ship. Okay maybe.

So, you had jumped on his back, your arms around his neck, legs around his Weiss, he did not budge, not at all.”Tell me what you meant or I-ill be... very annoying and pretend I am this really cool person that gets men and women but I am not but I will pretend I’ll trick them into thinking my lightsaber is big shlong -gosh why did you not stop me. And you should because I am a huge virgin.” Huge nerd more like.

“...I’d accept your offer of you being mine.” Maybe, Din felt better because he didn’t have to directly look at you, you were on his back what were you going to do, jump off and fall over? No, once again you pulled his helmet from his head, pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek.

“We could be lovers.”

“I , I will be king

and you, you will be queen.”

What you didn’t see was Ahsoka with her com link talking to Luke , basically had a spy camera. 100% accidentally, but Luke knew you’d be safe.

#din djarin x you #din dijarin x reader #din djarin imagine #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x jedi #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x y/n #mando x y/n #mando x reader

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specterchasing-a · 3 years

Text

Coming Clean || Eddie & Bex

TIMING: Wednesday, June 23rd

PARTIES: @inbextween & @specterchasing

LOCATION: Eddie’s Apartment

SUMMARY: Eddie finally has a chance to tell Bex the truth.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Internalized homophobia tw

Two days ago, Bex’s heart stopped beating, and today Eddie planned to break up with her. He would understand if she ended hating him, he kind of did too. Not for being gay, but for involving her in his repression-fueled fantasy. Building a relationship where denial served as a linchpin would have been a lousy decision no matter what. Doing so with Bex, an incontestably wonderful girl with too much already on her plate, placed him on the leaderboard for the world’s biggest scumbags. The more he thought about it, the more Morgan’s worst-case scenario sounded like a pipedream.

As per usual, he picked her up at the docks not far from where they shared their first kiss. Eddie tried not to think about that night at the karaoke bar as she settled into the passenger seat, but failed immediately. If divine punishment existed, it was probably reserved for guys who dumped girls that liked them enough to kiss them in front of an audience. He wondered how the people who cheered them on would feel if they could see them now. Shockingly, the imaginary crowd didn’t help calm his nerves.

“Hey,” Eddie squeaked as he gripped the steering wheel so tightly it turned his knuckles white. “Good to see you.” He put the car in drive and navigated them towards the road. The song playing from the car’s speakers faded into silence before the next one kicked off. Eddie didn’t recognize it until the vocals chimed in.

Now I’ve had—

Eddie hit the radio’s power button and plunged them into awkward silence, now certain he’d been onto something with his theory about divine punishment.

She could do this. Bex took in a deep breath as she waited on the bench by the ferry, where she always waited for Eddie. It gave her the perfect view of the road, as far down as the sharp turn left that took you away from Amity and towards Downtown, as well as of the ocean, reaching out beyond the horizon. Ever since she’d found out about Mina, every body of water reminded her of her. It was just another of many things that did. And then the guilt would start. Especially because today she was meeting with Eddie.

She didn’t know what he wanted to talk about, but it was something big and probably serious. And so she’d put on her best “I'm Fine!” face and made sure her smile reached just enough of her eyes when she saw Eddie’s car pulling around the corner. She couldn’t let the nothingness consume her, she knew that, but forcing it felt wrong and raw. She could fake it, though. She was really good at faking being okay. She’d done it for twenty years and sometimes she forgot she might not need to do it for another twenty.

The car pulled up and she waved at him, like she always did, before straining to lift herself from the bench. Her heart pumped loud in her chest and she put a hand over it to calm it down. “Hey,” she said gently, smiling, “thanks for picking me up, like always. I-- feel like it’s been so long since I’ve seen you.” Was she supposed to hug him? Kiss him hello? She didn’t know and it felt wrong, when she’d just kissed Mina a few days ago. She slid into the front seat. “Are you doing-- okay? With-with everything?”

All in all, Bex seemed like she always did. Eddie couldn’t fathom walking away from what she’d been through without losing himself altogether, but it would have been a mistake to underestimate her resilience. He appreciated that she didn’t greet him with affection. It would’ve only made what he needed to do more difficult.

“Uhm, well,” Eddie stalled after her question. ‘Okay’ wasn’t how he would describe his current state, but he preferred to avoid introspection. Other people had it worse, Bex included. He didn’t need to pile his problems on top of hers. “Yeah, all things considered.” His anxiety slowly began to ebb as they picked up where they left off. Even now, Bex managed to have a soothing effect on him.

“How about you?” Eddie glanced over at her as he drove. He needed to make sure she was stable enough to cope with a break-up. Otherwise, he’d need to suck up his reservations about playing the role of her boyfriend a little longer. “I mean, we don’t have to go into it if you don’t want to, but I won’t lie and say I’m not worried about you.”

“I’m--” Bex started, but she didn’t know how she was. “--dealing.” It was the closest she’d get to the truth, for now. She didn’t want to lie to Eddie, but she couldn’t tell him the truth, not yet. Her pain was just hurting other people, and she needed to not be that for him. She owed it to him. If she was just using him for safety, she owed that to him. She hoped one day, he’d forgive her. She gave a brief smile. “It’s a lot, but I’ll be okay. I have Morgan and Mi--” she paused, “--my other friends.” She licked her lips. “I have people.”

The car ride wasn’t exactly a long one, they’d made it so many times. From the ferry to Eddie’s place, but it felt like ages. “I know you’re worried, and I-- I won’t tell you not to be, because I know that’s hard right now. But don’t-- don’t think you have to focus on me. I don’t know how well you knew-- everyone. Everything.”

Eddie hoped he counted as one of the people Bex felt she could rely on, but recent evidence suggested otherwise. When it came to sharing her feelings or even being open about how she spent her time, he clearly didn’t register as someone she was comfortable confiding in. It stung, but Eddie harbored secrets too. It would be hypocritical to expect Bex to lay out the truth for him when he couldn’t offer her the same candor.

“I only met Adam once,” Eddie said quietly. He knew Bex’s comment referred to more than the recently dead hunter, but it was hard not to think about him specifically. “He saved my life.” Nervousness gave way to a sinking feeling in his chest.

“I’m worried about everyone right now, but especially you and Nell. I guess that’s the price of caring, I don’t really have a say in the matter.”

Eddie pulled into his apartment building’s parking lot and came to a stop in his usual parking space. “I know you hate it when I do this,” he said, looking at Bex. “But I’m gonna open the door for you.” With that out of the way, he exited the car and circled around to the passenger side to make good on his word.

“The elevator’s been out of order since its brief stint as a portal to hell, so we’ll have to take the stairs,” Eddie informed Bex as he held out his hand for her. “You think you can manage that, or is it human-crutch time?”

Bex didn’t get why everyone kept saying that. They were worried about Nell and her, but Bex wasn’t the one who had lost someone. Bex wasn’t the one who had been trapped in a hell dimension for over two weeks. Bex wasn’t the one who had died. She didn’t say anything, just shook her head and smiled sadly. “I’m so worried about Nell,” she admitted quietly, “but I don’t know how to help her. So I’m just-- focusing on what I can do, and who I can help.” They pulled up to his building and he parked and she reached for the handle, when suddenly he was announcing he’d get the door.

She didn’t have the heart to argue and just nodded. “Right, okay. Just this once, though,” she agreed, watching him walk around and open it. She pulled herself out, standing up. Her body didn’t hurt as much as ache, now that the healer had done his work and made things less-- painful. Maybe that wasn’t quite the word, but it was close enough. “I can walk! Honestly. No leg injuries this time.” Just heart palpitations and a burn that rose up every time she moved too much. It still felt like asking him too much. “Lead the way.”

Eddie refrained from offering his opinions on Nell’s situation. The only help she could be given was confidence in her safety net. Friends and family being there for her would ease the pain, but nothing would rid her of it completely. Adam’s death and the grief it brought her would be something she carried for the rest of her life. Over time, she might learn how to have good days again, but reminders would wait around every corner. Grief, after it introduces itself, never leaves for long.

The two of them traversed the stairs in silence while Eddie’s anxiety returned in full-swing. After three flights, he opened a door that led to a long hallway of apartments. His eyes lingered on Alfie’s as he led Bex to his own. He made sure Silas knew not to be around for today. An imaginary audience was bad enough.

Bucket rushed to greet them at the front door. As per usual, he showed how bad of a guard-dog he would be by not barking. Eddie picked up the Pomeranian currently shaking with noiseless excitement and kicked the door shut with his heel.

“So,” he ventured. His mouth felt uncomfortably dry. “You thirsty, or anything?” He hoped she was. Eddie would take any excuse he could get to prolong the inevitable.

Bex followed him up the stairs and slunk behind just enough to let her expression fall for a moment. Keeping up her facade felt harder now, for some reason, when she couldn’t quite access the feelings inside of her. She just wanted to not think about any of that stuff, she wanted to think about other stuff. Better stuff, happy stuff. She perked back up as soon as they were at the door, inside, and she gave a gentle smile. “I, uh-- no, not really,” she answered, shaking her head. She really just wanted to get this over with, whatever it was. She didn’t know, how could she possibly know? She’d been bad to him lately, and she felt increasingly more guilty about it, the longer they stood there.

“So, what was it that you wanted to talk about?” she asked, moving further into the apartment. She’d found comfort here in a lot of ways, but something felt as if it were sitting in the room with them, and she assumed it was whatever Eddie wanted to talk to her about. “It seemed pretty urgent.”

Eddie’s hope collapsed when Bex tackled the elephant in the room. “Right, that,” he said with a sigh. He lowered Bucket to the floor and attempted to steel himself. Whatever it was that he said to Morgan when the two of them acted out this very scenario was now completely inaccessible to him now. Eddie’s heart pounded loudly in his ears while he tried to piece together a new script.

“Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I really do care about you and… that I’m sorry,” Eddie began, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke. Words weren’t coming to him easily. Every thought in his head sounded disjointed and scared. He decided to approach the situation as if he were ripping off a band-aid. “I’m gay, Bex.” Eddie couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “I knew that when we got together, but I didn’t want it to be true and I thought dating you would, I dunno, fix me, I guess.” His lips pursed. “I’m sorry,” he said for the second time.

Bucket plodded over to Bex and she bent down to pet the excitable dog, looking up at Eddie. He looked nervous. And he was looking at her strangely, and then he was apologizing. Oh, was he breaking up with her? She shouldn’t have been relieved. He provided something for her that she needed-- normalcy. Protection. But that was selfish. That was so selfish to think. She pulled her hand away and stood up, tilting her head. He wasn’t looking at her anymore, he had more to say, and then-- “Oh.” Oh. Eddie was...gay. That-- made sense. It made sense. It really did. How hadn’t she seen it? How hadn’t she known? Probably because she still had a blindfold down over her own eyes, buried herself deep in that closet. It was safe back there.

“You’re-- oh.” No, no, she needed to say something else. Not just Oh. She needed to say something else. “That’s-- wow. You’re--” Me, too. She wanted to say, but the words made her heart seize. Was this how Eddie had felt? Bex was a coward. “I-- I’m sorry. I didn’t know. But I-- I’m happy for you. Really! I am. I’m glad you could figure that out, I’m just sorry I--” she wasn’t sure what she was sorry about, she just knew she was sorry. “Didn’t realize. It’s...it’s okay. That you knew, before.” He wanted to be reassured, right? She shook her head and walked towards him, holding out her hand. “Hey,” she called to him, “I’m not mad. This-- this was really brave of you. Really. I’m glad you told me. I don’t want to make you live a life you’re not happy with.”

Bex’s initial reaction caused Eddie’s heart to stall in his chest, but the words that followed replaced terror with confusion. His gaze slowly found hers. An apology was the last thing he expected to hear her say. Instead of hating him, she almost sounded relieved. With all she’d been through, he guessed that made sense. Their relationship never seemed to offer her much comfort, so its ending only meant one less thing to worry about.

When she offered her hand, Eddie gladly took it. “You’re… sure it’s okay?” He didn’t know why he asked that, her answer didn’t have the power to change anything. “Thank you, Bex.” Eddie gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Really, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me, but… especially this.” A tentative smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Does this mean we’re still friends?”

Bex gave a small laugh, a genuine laugh, the first time in days, but she laughed and it felt good. “Yes, Eddie, I’m sure,” she shrugged, “not sure my answer would be able to change how you feel, how you are, anyway. And I wouldn’t want it to. You-- all I want is for you to be happy. You know that, right?” She hoped he knew that. She squeezed his hand back. “No need to thank me, really. I’m just doing what should be done, what any friend would do.” What she hoped her friends would do for her, when she finally could be safe about it, too. If ever. “Of course we are. We were friends before we were-- you know, whatever this was. We’re still friends.”

She tried to keep herself stable, as she looked at him, and she realized her last line of defense was falling. If she had to go home and tell her parents that she was single again, what was to say they wouldn’t just give up on her right then and there? Her smile soured. “Are you...okay? About all this?”

Eddie’s smile grew and lost its nervousness. The longer Bex spoke, the more his anxiety melted away. He still had a long way to go before the truth about his identity stopped being something he lost sleep over, but having people in his life accept and even support him made it easier to stomach. “That’s all I want for you too,” he softly replied.

He took a deep breath after her follow-up question, not noticing the way her smile suddenly seemed less genuine. “I think so,” he said with a nod. “Most days are pretty up and down in regards to this particular topic, but… I’ve got a lot of people in my corner, it seems.” Alfie, Morgan, Silas, and now Bex. So far, everyone he told responded positively. “So, yeah, don’t waste time worrying about me. I’m gonna be just fine.”

#c: bexley #wickedswriting #coming clean #internalized homophobia tw #// my days of having to use that tw for eddie are coMING TO AN END #hopefully #at least

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morganaseren · 3 years

Note

🌹

Right, so the only AUs I’ve yet to reveal (besides the new ones I haven’t outlined yet) are honestly sad/dark AUs. Since the existence of this one is your fault to begin with, I’m going to leave you with an AU scene, where Niamh is turned Tranquil just as the events of What Pride Had Wrought come to a close. >:) Essentially, the Red Templars found a method to perform the Rite of Tranquility almost instantaneously over the course of several months, leading to numerous reports of Tranquil mages being found across Thedas. Niamh was well-aware of all of this before she took her team into the Arbor Wilds, but as the trek through the forest was so arduous, she was running on little energy by the time she defeated Samson. The Red Templars managed to separate her away from the group, and well... She was made Tranquil. Niamh’s team made their way through the Eluvian in the hopes Corypheus wouldn’t discover what had happened to her, and this scene takes place some time after that.

Cassandra watched as Leliana paced soundlessly across the Inquisitor’s personal quarters, her face set into an impassive mask—the same one she had seen her wear for years during their respective duties as the Hands of the Divine.

…at least until her reunion with Lady Cousland, and it was like watching the other woman slowly come to life again as they fell in love.

Still, even the grim resolve she saw here was better than the absolute devastation she had seen on Leliana’s face when she saw Lady Cousland’s condition for the first time upon returning from the Arbor Wilds. The Spymaster had nearly ridden her mount ragged in her haste, especially when Cassandra had sent a message out to her, stating that something had gone wrong in their mission and the Inquisitor’s position had been compromised.

It had been a severe understatement, of course, and Cassandra couldn’t help but grimace as she saw the radiating, curved lines of the Chantry Sunburst branded—albeit haphazardly so if the imperfect embossment was any indication—across the woman’s forehead.

As had been her norm upon their return, Lady Cousland continued to sit eerily at the foot of the bed, staring into the nothingness beyond the balconies. She never spoke unless prompted, and even when she did, there was a dullness to her voice—a sunken stone buried in depths long forgotten—that was a far cry from the woman’s usual quiet warmth and benevolence.

She was little more than a sentinel as she sat there—back rigid and shoulders set—as if waiting for instruction. Waiting to be commanded.

…Waiting to serve.

Cassandra had to swallow the bile that had gathered at the back of her throat.

“Besides abject failure, this was the only thing in all the world that absolutely terrified her,” Leliana said apathetically, hands behind her back as she continued pacing before the fireplace. “That, or the idea that we might succeed, and the Chantry would’ve seen reason to chain her and take away her magic in the most abusive way possible, ensuring that it would never again have a rival to its power.” Blue eyes seemed to burn with more than just the firelit reflection within them. “What does that say about us, I wonder? What does it say that she helped us and agreed to be Inquisitor even with the thought that she’d still have every last shred of her autonomy taken away?”

While the question was an uncomfortable one, Cassandra could only be thankful it was far better than the reaction Morrigan had received, especially when Leliana had discovered the woman had abandoned Lady Cousland in order to chase after the ancient elf responsible for guarding the Well of Sorrows…

---

Leliana’s eyes had been a steely blue as they gleamed beneath the moonlight—a glimmer of a knife’s edge and with all the danger that it implied—as she pulled the mage forward by the lapels of her outfit almost to the point of choking her.

“The only reason my blades haven’t sunk into your neck or that I haven’t thrown you from this very tower is because you told me the knowledge you obtained from the Well of Sorrows might prove useful in overturning what has been done to Niamh,” she said coolly, never raising her voice. “I do not want your apologies or your meager reassurances. I want progress. You and I have nothing to say to one another until then. Am I understood?”

Morrigan’s eyes had narrowed, but even Cassandra could see the guilt that had settled there—a common sight these days—as she was reminded of her own part in Lady Cousland’s current state. As such, the woman could only nod, allowing Leliana to slowly release the strangling grip on her clothing, which Morrigan resettled idly before making her way toward the stairs.

“And Morrigan?”

The mage looked over her shoulder to see Leliana there, standing tall with her hands behind her back—a cold ruthlessness exuding from every pore of her body. Although they weren’t directed at her, Cassandra felt the chill of reproach and threat in that icy glare.

“You may have evaded Flemeth over the years, but make no mistake: if I find you’ve given anything other than your absolute best in helping Niamh—if I find that you’ve abandoned her again—there will be nowhere on Thedas where you can hope to hide from me…”

---

Cassandra sighed. “It was not the Chantry that did this to her, Leliana.”

“But they never argued against the Rite’s use in all its existence, have they? What is the purpose of it if not to chain mages to them with fear?”

“It was originally a preventative measure against the outright execution of mages.”

“Mages they thought might be useful to them alive as pets and mindless servants than dead, Cassandra!” Leliana retorted, whirling on her with fury as the flames from the fireplace outlining her form. “The last Inquisitor warned it could have abused, and nothing was done to prevent it! A thousand years later, and the Chantry is no better than when it first started! Niamh had every reason not to trust in it!”

“Leliana—"

“Do you not see what this world has done to her?! It rejected her, and it denied her very existence as a person! She has been abandoned at every turn the moment her magic manifested! She had very nearly given up by the time she came to The Conclave because she was so desperate to see if it could change one last time for the better, and she ended up bound to the Chantry again as part of the Inquisition instead! Despite everything, despite how much she was hurting, she still sought to try and help us, and this is what she received for her goodwill!”

“Leliana, what more do you want me to say?” Cassandra implored desperately. “I know now how deeply the corruption ran. I know why Lord Seeker Lucius abandoned his duties and why he gave the tome to me. I swear, we are doing everything we can to reverse this, and if it works, I promise I will spread knowledge of the cure all across Thedas, but…” She hesitated. “From what I’ve read, she might not be as she was before.”

Silence.

“You’re telling me that even if this does succeed, I may only have a part of her back?”

“Yes. We have asked her, but her answers remain tied to our desires. She will agree to it if we feel that it is necessary, but she…” Cassandra paused, choosing her words carefully even as she averted her gaze. “Lady Cousland no longer has the will to fully agree to this. Given your relationship with her, I felt you might know her wants better than us. As the reversal has been documented so very few times, it’s possible we can negate some of the more concerning side effects, especially with so many mages here openly helping us, but—”

“Then proceed,” Leliana said without hesitation. “Because I’m not letting her go again.”

((This does have a happy ending. I might write more about it once I get to the Arbor Wilds part of OtSttCA, so there’s still time before I hit you all with a load of sadness and angst. Lol.))

#Dragon Age: Inquisition #leliana #female cousland/leliana #female inquisitor/leliana #My writing #OTP: What If We Rewrite the Stars?#lee's au ideas #Rite of Tranquility #Tranquil AU #theherowarden #late to the party as always eh? :P #i always feel a little guilty writing these darker AUs because Niamh deserves so much happiness :'(#writer stuff #writing meme response #lee's inbox

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