Mock cover

HAPPY 84TH BIRTHDAY JOKER!!!

it's a sliding scale, guys

(I will accept criticism on this, especially in the form of new jokers to add to the scale)

This just popped into my head!

-Prompt-

Danny is in Gotham, and he had a long day at work and just wants some of his ecto gum. He reaches into his pocket but can't seem to find it.

So, he reaches again, this time that long reaches with the other arm (you know the one you do when something's stuck inside your pocket).

He absolutely doesn't notice when his hand fazes trough him, nor does he noticed that the "gum" he snatched was in fact not gum at all, but the soul of a clown that was sneaking behind a Wayne looking kid. So, he chews and a moment later he spits it out and throws it behind him, feeling remorseful and sorry for himself for eating rotten gum.

The "gum" lands back into the body of the quite shocked Joker. He jumped into the abyss and it spat him out in disgust. Later he will start feeling the same feelings Danny had felt, remorseful and apologetic.

Doctor Harleen Quinzel, because there is no way she is gonna remain Harely Quinn after what she just saw; Stares in horror and shock (and quite frankly an absurd amount of glee and amusement) at the kid who just plucked the Joker soul (because tha ball of shining dark light could only be a soul) chewed it out and quickly spat it back out (quite a lot cleaner, might she add) and threw it away like one of her hyenas after Ivy forced fed them vegetables as punishment for misbehaving.

By god she has a story the people at the bar are not going to belive for a week or so. You didn't need a doctorate to see that what just happened shook the Joker quite a bit. And she didn't even get to use her BATbat, awww....

Meanwhile Danny is completely oblivious to what he just did.

JACK NICHOLSON as THE JOKER

Batman (1989) | dir. Tim Burton

hhhhhh but what if everything was fixed and Joker was fixed and he was no longer Joker but Jack Napier instead after Bruce talked with him an actual meaningful emotional conversation (after Alfred sat him down and lectured him about his complicated bottled up feelings towards him) and made sure he gets regularly doses of therapy afterwards (with him accompanying him) and he tried another go at being a stand-up comedian and he was extremely successful and everyone laughed at his jokes and he laughed with them because he was genuinely happy and sometimes he’d end up having to pause mid-stage to wipe his eyes from tears of joy and then when everyone claps Bruce would be in the crowd somewhere and claps the loudest and they got married and shared custody of Robin together and Alfred slayed as a father in law and and wasnwjkwo

(whispers) it’s canon now.

joker fans are like “he’s so camp and goofy, i love him!” meanwhile you have to use a scroll wheel to figure out all the crimes he’s committed…

… im joker fans 😭🙏

Grits my teeth I like them so much..........

Uhm, HELLO I'M BACK, WITH A NEURODIVERGENT CRUSH FOR A HOLOGRAM OF FUCKING JACK NAPIER.

GOodgod

And if I gave up on being pretty

I wouldn't know how to be alive

This is his entire energy

Pre-Joker (Jack Napier) / Joker from the years

"Bruce Wayne. Batman... is Bruce Wayne... I was an angry kid when he found me. I didn't care how many people Batman saved... My parents were still dead. He said he knew how alone and helpless I felt... He said if I wanted to fight back too, he'd show me how. That he'd give me the tools... to teach pricks like you a lesson. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. But it didn't last. Nothing ever does."

Batman: White Knight Presents: Red Hood (2022-) #1.

Joker considers Scarecrow a C-list villain

He shoots him with Grundy Piss

Okay, both of those are kinda hilarious

Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War: Red Hood #2

Best batman comic change my mind.