#*looks at this after writing it* ah FUCK it turned into ACTUAL meta who put that there
Note
Thoughts on Shithead the Bird? I am fascinated by FCG's insistence that it always follows them, unrelentingly, despite the fact that we have yet to see that bird in the month of in-game time we have watched. Where bird go?
Well, my primary thoughts so far are that it has good potential to be like, at least 10% true. Both in a "haha whaaaat, thats hilarious" kind of way and in a "i am once again being sucker punched by Sam Riegel character plot twists" kind of way.
Just for fun, some potential explanations, with varying levels of truth:
- Birds do have an uncanny tendency to poop on F.C.G, but it first happened with a mangy seagull.
- It's 100% true and the seagull has simply been preoccupied since the start of the campaign, but its fuckin COMIN.
- Shithead and also All Other Birds are actively trying to bully F.C.G for reasons yet unknown.
- F.C.G was pooped on once by a seagull. It was a terrible experience.
- F.C.G was pooped.on once by a seagull, which was unpleasant, and also had a french fry stuck in his joint or something and the seagull attacked him, which was a TERRIBLE experience, what do you mean seagulls are not full of menace and evil plans :(
- Its true but Shithead is Not A Seagull. *horror sting*
- (Compatible with any of these other options) Shithead was somehow involved with the murder of F.C.G's party/the aftermath, explaining the vendetta/F.C.G's uniquely negative opinion of birds/this seagull
(Jokes aside, its very interesting that F.C.G, who in the start of canon, was unphased by having someone throw a bucket of piss onto him, despises this seagull so deeply, and for this specific reason. It's not just a by product of learned teachings from Dancer, inherent lack of good in seagulls or w/e- this is about a vendetta.
Moreover, believing something has a vendetta against you requires a certain level of self importance- it is about you, something hating you enough to hunt you down, keep after you everywhere you go. Very, very interesting contrast with this character who consistently takes a "oh well, not me, im not soul touched, or important, like the rest of you, im just here to help" stance.
anyway so like, actually, F.C.G, what the fuck happened to convince you of this, tell me more, little robit.)
#*looks at this after writing it* ah FUCK it turned into ACTUAL meta who put that there#anyway this is all speculative and half joking dont take it TOO seriously but YES its very very interesting.#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e24#character meta#fcg#spar speaks#ask away!#shitpost#fcg meta#speculation#....#shithead the seagull#i GUESS#my meta#people are sending me asks about imogen#which is very kind#but also im holding off on answering till i CAN WATCH THE LAST PART#so sorry about the delay on that. yes my life is massively difficult why do you ask
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Time for a Salty Meta Post about Martin!
people who’ve followed this blog for a bit know that spending six hours combing through text for some goddamn sources is my specialty, so i compiled every time jon ever talked about martin’s work in season 1. which for the record, he stopped complaining about all the way back in episode 26, where he was angry that martin of all people got hurt.
things jon gets mad at martin for:
not being able to find records that don’t exist
not being able to find someone based only on a first name
the Dog
not wearing trousers in his off-hours
being the one that got caught up in the jane prentiss thing
mag 004 and mag 012 both have jon taking potshots at martin over research that was proven accurate by outside sources
things jon has never once complained about:
martin not understanding the filing system and just putting stuff away at random
martin being clumsy, constantly ruining things, spilling tea everywhere everyday, etc
martin turning in incompetent, poorly-edited, or badly formatted reports
martin not understanding the terminology used, skills expected, etc., and generally being extremely new to the field
please for the love of god stop making martin the silly bumbling idiot who can’t do anything right just because he doesn’t have a formal education. there’s zero evidence for it in the text, and it’s really weird to act like a 4 year degree would outweigh the *10 years* of job experience he has, not just in academia, but in the institute itself by season one. my boy has worked there longer than ANY of the rest of the main cast. screw you guys.
tl;dr: martin is never once shown to be bad at his job, jon pretty much only ever gets mad at him for the really stupid first impression and also not finding stuff that no one else was able to find either. after martin got hurt, jon talks about his research basically the same way he talks about tim’s or sasha’s work.
fucking proof under the cut:
(i didnt include the s1 finale or martin’s statement bc that’s just...two entire episodes of them talking to each other, but there isn’t really any notable Martin Complaints in either of them imo)
I swear, if he’s brought another dog in here, I’m going to peel him.
[pre-launch trailer]
.
Well, technically three, but I don’t count Martin as he’s unlikely to contribute anything but delays.
[...] Alongside this Tim, Sasha and, yes, I suppose, Martin will be doing some supplementary investigation to see what details may be missing from what we have.
[MAG001 Anglerfish]
.
Martin couldn’t find any records of Ex Altiora as a title in existent catalogues of esoteric or similar literature, so I assigned Sasha to double-check. Still nothing.
[MAG004 Pageturner]
.
I had Martin conduct a follow-up interview with Mr. Woodward last week, but it was unenlightening. Apparently there have been no further bags at number 93 and in the intervening years he has largely discounted many of the stranger aspects of his experience. I wasn’t expecting much, as time generally makes people inclined to forget what they would rather not believe, but at least it got Martin out of the Institute for an afternoon, which is always a welcome relief.
[MAG005 Thrown Away]
.
Martin was unable to find the exact date the original house was built but the earliest records he could find list it as being bought by Walter Fielding in 1891.
[...]
We cannot prove any connection, but Martin unearthed a report on an Agnes Montague, who was found dead in her Sheffield flat on the evening of November 23rd 2006, the same day Mr. Lensik claims to have uprooted the tree.
[MAG008 Burned Out]
.
According to Martin, who was here when they took this statement, it was at this point in writing that Mr. Herbert announced he needed some sleep before continuing. He was shown to the break room where he went to sleep on the couch. He did not awaken; unfortunately succumbing to the lung cancer right there. Martin says the staff had been aware of how serious Mr. Herbert’s condition was, and had advised him to seek medical aid prior to giving his statement, but were told rather bluntly by the old man that he would not wait another second to state his case. I can’t decide whether this lends more or less credibility to his tale.
[MAG010 Vampire Killer]
.
“Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin,” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out.
[MAG012 First Aid]
.
I sent Martin to look into this ‘Angela’ character - not that I want him to get chopped up, of course, but someone had to. Apparently, he spent three days looking into every woman named Angela in Bexley over the age of 50. He could not find anyone that matches the admittedly vague description given here, though he informs me that he had some very pleasant chats about jigsaws. Useless ass.
[MAG014 Piecemeal]
.
Martin declined to help with this investigation as he’s “a bit claustrophobic”
[MAG015 Lost John’s Cave]
.
There simply aren’t enough details given in this statement to actually investigate, short of Martin confirming that Mr. Vittery did indeed live at the addresses he provided.
[MAG016 Arachnophobia]
.
Oh, he’s off sick this week. Stomach problems, I think.
Blessed relief if you ask me.
[...]
I asked Martin to try and hunt down Mr. Adekoya himself for a follow-up, but have been informed that he passed away in 2006.
[MAG017 The Boneturner’s Tale]
.
MARTIN
Well, I need to tell someone what happened, and you can vouch for the soundness of my mind, can’t you?
ARCHIVIST
…
That is beside the point.
[MAG022 Colony]
.
Martin! Good lord man, if you’re going to be staying in the Archives, at least have the decency to put some trousers on!
[MAG023 Schwartzwald]
.
Martin found one other thing while combing through police reports for the Hither Green area. About a month after this statement was given, on May 15th, 2015, police were called out to once again investigate the chapel.
[MAG025 Growing Dark]
.
I know, but it would have to have been Martin, wouldn’t it? I mean, anything goes wrong around here, it always seems to happen to him. Anyway, we’re getting off topic. Why didn’t you report this?
[MAG026 A Distortion]
.
Martin made contact with the son, Marcus McKenzie, but he declined to talk to us, saying that he’d “already made his statement.”
[MAG027 A Sturdy Lock]
.
Tim and Martin had a bit more luck investigating Tom Haan, though only really enough to confirm that he seems to have completely vanished following his departure from Aver Meats on the 12th of July.
[MAG030 Killing Floor]
.
Martin’s research would seem to indicate the place employed a reasonable number of international staff they preferred to keep off the books
[...]
TIM
Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it?
ARCHIVIST
No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk drawer, hold on.
[MAG036 Taken Ill]
#the magnus archives#LISTEN#i am once again asking people to remember that martin has MORE job experience at the institute than literally any other character#(except elias or i guess maybe rosie)#he's the goddamn veteran not the newbie#fan wank /
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BlackHeart Bakery
Who says Halloween can’t be romantic?
Pairing: Emo! Jungkook x Reader
Word Count: 3.7k
Genre: fluff
A/N: HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE. I love you, I hope you like it. I’m sorry it isn’t longer but, I still can’t wait for you to read it.
-you never imagined that the quirky lil bakery down the street from your university would change your life
-But it did
-“Omg shut up, you’re so dumb.”
-“Rawr xD”
-“Did you just say rawr xD out loud??? That totally defeats the purpose of its existence...”
-“Don’t cite the deep magic to me witch, I was there when it was written.”
-“And now you’re quoting the chronicles of narnia- alright just go back to sleep you big dummy...”
-“Mmm but you married a big dummy so what does that say about you”
-“Jungkook don't spoil it oh my god!”
-“Like they don’t know what’s coming already- spoiler alert losers! I get the girl.”
-“I hate you...”
-“Mm yeah- I love it when you talk dirty to me baby. The last time you said that- we ended up fuc-“
-“Ok! That’s enough! Our story begins...”
-Jungkook’s bakery was quite famous around your city
-If people didn’t come for the gaudy Halloween decorations
-They came for the music
-Exclusively pop punk, if you’re wondering
-It was like 2009 everyday
-Which was comforting, considering the world has gotten a little
-Tricky
-Since then
-But anyways
-If they didn’t come for the music or the decorations
-They came for the AMAZING espresso
-And the spooky themed treats
-But if you’re being honest
-You think the main thing that keeps them coming back
-Is Jungkook
-If his sweeping black hair didn’t get you
-Or the adorable cheeky twinkle in his eyes
-It was the tattoos and the piercings
-He looked like he walked right off of a black veil brides music video set
-He was hot
-This was obvious
-But he didn’t seem to think so
-You had come to the conclusion that he was oblivious
-he shoved his feet into his big black doc martens every morning
-Slipped on his beaded bracelets and studded chokers
-Pulled his fall out boy t-shirt over his
-Massive
-Tattooed
-Biceps
-And just thought hm
-I’m pretty average I guess (lol)
-That’s a direct quote from him btw
-Men truly are hopeless
-Jungkook opened the bakery two years ago
-He had mentioned to you that he had saved up money from his 3 part time jobs to put a down payment on the building
-Which was wedged between a sex shop
-And a thrift store
-And honestly his bakery
-Blackheart Bakery, if you’re being specific
-Fits right in
-Jungkook refuses to hire new staff
-“They won’t do it right.” He whined to you one day
-“One time I tried to hire this guy and he put the sugared googly eyes on the cookie skeletons ALL WRONG”
-“How do you put googly eyes on wrong?” You had giggled
-“you just do- i- See? This is exactly why I can’t hire anyone...”
-You had started chewing on the end of your pencil in the midst of your laughter
-It was an unconscious habit
-And it makes Jungkook shift uncomfortably, his hands moving off of the top of your table
-“Don’t do that...” he had muttered, smirking to himself as he walked back behind the counter
-he did that a lot
-He’d mutter something
-Mildly flirtatious under his breath and then
-Just walk away
-It was quite confusing
-But honestly you had a feeling he was just a filrty person
-You certainly weren’t the only girl he smirked at
-Not that you pay attention
-Ok
-Maybe you do
-Kinda
-Pay attention
-but it’s not your fault!!!!
-You just
-Can’t help but feel a little jealous
-You kiiiiiinda have a little thing for him
-Ok
-Maybe it’s a big thing
-Maybe it’s a massive
-Gigantic
-Towering
-Crush
-But look at him!!!
-You simply couldn’t be blamed
-It was his fault
-Yep
-That’s what you’re going with
-It was Jungkook
-And his tight t shirts
-His ripped jeans
-His dangly earrings
-His tattoos
-His big
-Stupid boots
-Ugh ok
-Focus
-You have work to do
-The whole reason you began coming to Jungkook's cafe was so you -could find a consistent place to study for your exams
-You were in school to become a teacher :)
-And teachers have to study very very hard
-Educating the youth is no easy feat
-Jungkook had asked what you were studying during the first week you arrived at his spooky house of baked goods
-“Oh I’m an education major”
-“Ahh so you’re getting an education about...education.” He concludes
-“I love it.”
-“So meta.”
-“Are they educating you on the disparities between impoverished children and wealthier children?”
-His wide eyes were brimming with genuine curiosity
-You kind of got a kick out of how candid he was about such heavy conversation topics
-“Not as much as they should be but, I’m actually writing a paper on a similar topic right now...”
-This caused a brilliant grin to come over his face
-It was almost blinding really
-And it made your heartbeat all wonky
-“Of course you are. You look smart like that...”
-He had backed away from your table then, seemingly satisfied
-Had you passed the vibe check?
-“I’ll leave you to your paper.” He nodded to your laptop but as he walked away, he pivoted back towards you on and the heel of his combat boot, “welcome to Blackheart Bakery by the way, let me know if I can get you anything.”
-Another brilliant smile is sent your way
-“Thank you.” You had smiled back, sending a tiny wave his way
-Which in turn, made HIS heartbeat all wonky
-You’re cute
-Like really cute
-And despite how often it may seem like his eyes are elsewhere
-They are ALWAYS on you
-Every chance he gets he is glancing your way
-Smirking to himself at how endearing you are
-Brow furrowed
-Lips pouted in concentration
-Completely oblivious to his gaze
-He has to remind himself to look away
-He doesn’t want to be a creep
-“Creepy men deserved to get kicked in the teeth...”
-He’s said this to you before when another patron had made you uncomfortable
-Jungkook kicked him out immediately
-“If you don’t leave, I’ll have no choice but to kick you in the teeth. One, because I can’t compromise my personal philosophy and two because you’re making my favorite customer uncomfortable.”
-Oh look there goes your heartbeat again
-WONKY
-The guy leaves in an angry rush, flipping Jungkook off in the process
-Saying something about leaving a bad Yelp review
-He doesn’t care tho
-He definitely doesn’t want to be a creep
-You’re just so
-Pretty
-Ugh
-He rolls his eyes at himself behind the espresso bar
-The latte in front of him neglected
-In need of a bit of foam
-“Focus Jeon, she’s just a chick...”
No wait
-“She’s just a woman. A woman who I respect, like I respect all women...”
-He’s been watching a lot of feminist theory on YouTube
-He likes staying educated
-And also fuck the patriarchy
-The man waiting for his drink has arched a brow at this point, wondering if his barista has lost his mind
-“Uhhh medium...” he checks the cup for his awful hand writing, “ghostly toasted marshmallow latte!”
-“Thanks.” The guy mutters, throwing a judging look Jungkook's way
-He gives him a lazy salute as the guy struts away with a briefcase in tow
-“Thaaanks.” Jungkook mocks him, his face scrunching up in annoyance
-Stupid man
-With his stupid briefcase
-As Jungkook is pulling out a batch of cream cheese frosting stuffed pumpkin muffins
-Or as Jungkook calls them
-PUNK-in Muffins
-Movement at the counter catches his eye
-is that
-”oh shit...” He grunts, hastily wiping his hands on his apron and rushing over to the counter
-normally he would meander
-stroll
-or even slump to greet any new guests at this hour
-and by this hour
-he means 45 minutes before closing
-Jungkook’s bakery is open til midnight on weeknights
-9pm on Sundays
-and 3am on Saturdays (for the culture of course, gotta keep it spooky)
-tonight happens to be a Friday night and the person awaiting his assistance is
-you
-”You’re still here?” He gawks, the black polish on his nails glimmering as he punches in a few keys on the register
-You offer him a tired and slightly amused smile, “No. Y/N died around 4:30, you’re speaking to her ghost. Please leave your message after the tone.”
-Jungkook cracks a smile, his palms resting on flat on the counter, “Do ghosts check their voicemails?”
-“Oh of course not but, I will be checking yours because you have access to caffeine.”
-Jungkook laughs
-no...he giggles
-and it’s fucking cute
-but you digress
-“I feel like I should cut you off...this is your 4th latte; I’m pretty sure you’re 80% caffeine at this point...”
-“Noooo, don’t do that.” You whine slumping against the counter, “I just need to finish this one page...”
-He quirks a brow as he scribbles something on your cup, unimpressed with your statement, “You said that three hours ago. I’ll make you another one but I’m not putting an extra shot in.”
-Your face turns up in protest but he click his tongue against his teeth , shaking a manicured finger at you
-“Ah ah- nope. I don’t want to hear it. You either take that or I’m making you a hot chocolate and shutting the buildings power off.”
-With a dramatic sigh, you concede
-“Ugh fine. Here-” You go to hand him your debit card but he shakes his head
-“Put that away.”
-You want to protest but given the fact that he’s made the rules thus far during this interaction, you doubt you’d be able to stop him.
-A smile appears on your face then, appreciative of his generosity
-“Thank you.”
-He merely grins, waving you off before rolling up the sleeves of his black Blink 182 shirt
-as soon as his tattoos are out
-all the moisture leaves your mouth
-you try your hardest not to stare at him
-expertly, he eases the espresso shots into the milk, tongue poking between his lips in concentration
-and you
-being sleep-deprived
-and a little loopy
-decide to
-flirt????????
-if you could even call it that
-which you could but you shouldn’t
-“For the record, when I finally dig my way out of this of mountain of death I’m stuck in, I will definitely take you up on that hot chocolate...”
-Jungkook’s brow quirks at the tone of your voice, his hands suddenly itching with nerves
-was that
-was that flirty?
-should he flirt back?
-“My hot chocolate is legendary. You won’t be disappointed.” His lips display a small grin as he places the lid atop your finished latte, “Also mountain of death is a great name and I WILL be stealing it.”
-You giggle
-again
-“and I WILL be suing you for copyright.”
-He laughs now, wiping up the bit of milk he spilled
-the sinewy muscles in his forearm tensing and untensing
“Good luck getting me to show up to court.”
-and that’s kinda how it was between you and Jungkook
-for like six months
-it was a little bit flirty but never anything to push either over you over the edge.
-and speaking of being on edge
-recently, you had gone from vacationing in your timeshare on the edge
-to signing a 35 year mortgage contract
-4 bedrooms
-2.5 bathrooms
-of pure
-unrelenting
-stress
-you could feel it in the middle of your back
-shoving itself up between your shoulder blades
-your body seemed to ache with it
-the worst part being
-it was Halloween
-You should be out with your friends, having fun
-wearing itchy costumes and drinking sugary drinks
-but instead, your headed towards the bakery to work
-Jungkook was behind the counter, smiling happily at a family dressed like the cast of scooby doo
-from what you could see he was wearing a skeleton onesie
-his jet black hair tousled perfectly above his head
-he looked adorable
-(and hot)
-He notices you instantly, his face turning up in surprise
-you offer up a small wave and head over to your table
-you know he’s going to say something about you being there but
-you don’t really have much of a choice
-this work has to be done
-it takes him a second to spot you but when he does
-he seems to perk up
-his smile brightening as he looks back towards his customer
-as you’re setting everything up, you feel a presence (not the spooky kind) at the end of your table
-it’s Jungkook and he has your regular order in one hand, along with something wrapped in skeleton-patterned parchment paper
-“I know, I know.” You acknowledge before he’s even able to chide you for being here
-He smirks “What are you doing studying on the holiest day of the year??”
-You giggle
-“The holiest day of the year huh?”
-“Of course. Halloween is the one night a year that the homies can dress like total -sluts and no one can say anything about it.”
-This makes you giggle again
-“And you went with slutty skeleton huh? I love it- it’s like as naked as you can possibly get.”
-He chuckles, gesturing to his costume
-His floppy black hair getting in his face
-“Damn right baby.”
-The way he grins tells you the pet name is a joke
-But the deepening of his voice gets to you anyway
-“Thank you for this. I promise I’ll get out of your hair early tonight.”
-“The only thing I’m worried about getting out of my hair is this white spray paint. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”
-He’s put a streak of white spray paint in his raven locks
-Why? You’re not certain
-Does it look good on him, like everything else does?
-Absolutely
-Its been a few hours since your night of studying began
-Jungkook’s dropped off two free lattes since you’ve arrived
-As well as a slice of his ‘I write cinnamon not tragedies’ bread
-Which was equally hilarious and delicious
-You caught him glancing over at your table a few times but you didn’t think anything of it
-He’s probably just checking to make sure that no one needs your table
-His bakery is packed most nights but Halloween is a special night at Blackheart Bakery
-He has a trick or treat counter set up with free (homemade) candy
-A photo op complete with a fake haunted house backdrop
-A Halloween playlist
-And a bunch of discounts on his signature lattes and food
-you watch him amongst the chaos
-He is completely unfazed
-He seems elated at the amount of customers he has
-he grins and laughs at something a man dressed like Thor says at his counter
-he seems entirely in his element
-you realize that the denial tactics you’ve been trying out haven’t been working
-because this floppy haired, tattooed, slutty skeleton/baker kind of has a hold on your heart
-you’ve been friends for a long time now
-he always makes sure you’re taken care of
-he always asks if you’re ok
-he always gives you this little grin
-it feels like a secret sometimes
-but maybe it’s been his way of letting you know where he stands
-he’s been bringing you lattes and pastries for months now
-he never charges you full-price
-he always reminds you not to work too hard
-he
-fuck
-he likes you doesn’t he?
-you look back over at the counter to see him bending over and handing a skeleton cookie to a little girl dressed like Captain Marvel
-he laughs at something she says
-his eyes focused entirely on her and whatever she seems to be proclaiming to him
-your heart goes wonky again
-alright
-enough is enough
-you’re doing this
-Jungkook’s done so much of the work thus far
-it’s time for you to seal the deal
-and if he rejects you, well…
-you can just crawl into a hole and never come out again
-easy peasy
-You can feel his eyes on you as you get up to take your place in line
-luckily there isn’t anyone else behind you
-rejection with an audience would certainly be worse
-Jungkook has his witty comment ready for you as you approach the register
-“I know for a fact you haven’t finished your third latte and I’m not making you another one until-“
-“I’m not here for another latte.” You laugh, trying to ignore the thrashing of your heartbeat
-“No? Well, are you finally going to try my Welcome to the Blackened Chicken Parade Burger then? I’ve been asking you for like three weeks…”
-god he’s fucking cute
-“I’m here to ask you out.”
-Jungkook swears he feels his heart stop
-“You’re here to…”
-He repeats the first part of your response as his he didn’t hear you
-his black fingernails anxiously tapping against the countertop
-“I’m here to ask you out- on a date.”
-Jungkooks face seems to go through various stages of confusion before a shy smirk presents itself on his pretty mouth
-“Me? You’re asking me-“ He places a hand on his chest, “-out on a date?”
-“Yes!” You laugh, slapping the counter a bit too hard, your nerves getting the best of you, “Are you down?”
-He shakes his head but his answer contradicts his movements
-“So down, beyond down. There is no one on Earth who is more DOWN than I am. Yes. My answer is yes. 50000% yes.”
-you can’t help the smile on your lips
-“great. So are you free next Friday then?”
-He grins with his teeth this time, nodding emphatically
-“Consider the shop closed.”
-and so it was
-you returned to your table moments later
-feeling on top of the world
-you did it
-you asked Jungkook out
-and he said yes
-and now you
-NOW YOU HAVE A DATE WITH JUNGKOOK
-LOOK AT YOU GO
-TAKING CHARGE
-you try your best to engage with your studies but with Jungkook on your mind
-its really hard
-roughly two hours later, things at the bakery have finally started to slow down
-“Hey uh- Y/N?”
-Jungkook's voice that pulls you out of your studying trance
-he’s standing at the entrance of his back room, waving you over with his hand
-and who are you to deny him?
-you make your way over there, annoyed at the instant increase in your heartrate
-he stands awkwardly to the side and gestures to the boxes on the metal rack
-“I just remembered that I’ve never given you a tour of the place. I give all my regulars a tour of the stockroom and my office and uh-”
-he cuts himself off and clumsily cups your cheek
-he pulls you into a kiss
-a really good kiss
-his lips are so warm
-he smells like cinnamon
-you could literally die happy
-The ridiculous nature of his first attempt to kiss you, makes you giggle into his mouth
-you feel him smile, his hands smushing your cheeks together as he pulls away
-“Ok I lied. There is no tour. I’ve just been watching you focus on your computer for the last two hours and you’re just really fucking cute and-”
-this time, it’s you who cuts him off
-“You better give me an actual tour next time. How else am I going to steal your secret recipes?”
-he scoffs in mock offense
-“Ah ha! So that’s the only reason you asked me out huh? Should I be calling you Plankton instead of Y/N? Ew no wait- that would make me Mr. Krabs and he’s a dirty capitalist...”
-You laugh, “Oooh good point. Guess you’ll just have to be Karen, my computer wife.”
-This makes him laugh now and the sound warms your soul
-“I could live with that- I like your last name better anyways.”
-with another kiss, your adventure with the emo baker of your dreams begins
-It may have been Halloween but it sure felt like Christmas to you
#headcanonween#jungkook#Jungkook fluff#Jungkook bts#bts jungkook#Jungkook 2020#emo! jungkook#boyfriend! jungkook#Jungkook fics#Jungkook fic recs#jungkook cute#Jungkook hot#tattoos jungkook#Jungkook tattoos#fluff#bts#bts fluff#bts fics#bts fanfic#bts fic recs
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i would low key love to hear your tangent about the differences there are between how VM and TM9 react with the world
ah, the perfect excuse for me to put off my 30 page reading, thank you :3
(i’m also going to preface this by saying most of this is stuff i’ve picked from other people’s various metas and i absolutely do not remember who those authors might be so i apologize jsdlkfsd)
....
but uh ... basically i feel like vox machina and the nein have a completely opposite standard for how they interact with the people the consider to be their “inner circle” vs. everyone who doesn’t qualify as that.
vm is a group of individuals who, overall, had one cruel person that slighted them but didn’t really destroy their faith in humanity. (their faith in themselves is a whole different horse. that ones .... woof. looking at you percy scanlan tary keyleth.) Percy had the briarwoods, Grog had Kevdak, the twins and tary had their father. so, the way that they interact with just random people that they meet is - with exceptions of course - amicable, or at the very least, respectably polite.
they’re the saviours of emon, the freers of whitestone. they have festivals held in their honor. they have kid fans and random farmers knocking on their doorstep for aid because they’ve heard tales of the kindness. sure, vex can be a hassle when she’s haggling down a price, and keyleth tends to poke buttons in way that gets her arrested a fair amount of the time, but at the end of the day they’re the people’s heroes, and they’re happy to be that!
their inner circle, however, is much more closely guarded. they have a few chosen allies (gilmore, allura, kima, kash and zahra, cassandra) and that’s it. They’re hesitant with anyone else trying to creep into their personal fold. Hell, it took beating up tary and him breaking down sobbing for them to even consider liking him. they’ve been burned by raishan and clarota and hotis, by individuals they let in and who then stabbed them in the back. they’ll do almost any favor for a stranger who asks, but they’ll be damned if they trust anyone to actually join their midst. vox machina is vox machina is vox machina and that’s incredibly hard to change.
the nein, on the other hand, are fundamentally a group of rejects. some of them have specific people they can point a finger at and say “i hate you”, but those problems stem from a greater societal rejection. beau has daddy issues, but she also felt rejected by the entire cobalt soul until dairon found her. caleb has trent’s fucked up shit, but he also has this constant pressure of having failed his entire country, not to mention the faceless hate piled up on him from living homeless for a year. jester’s whole deal is that she had to hide from LITERALLY ALL OF SOCIETY for her entire childhood because she wasn’t supposed to exist.
and so, the nein are shitheads to society right back. they’re mean to random barkeeps, they trash their inns and don’t say sorry, they mock most NPCs behind their back (or sometimes right to their face. @ marius). Every favor asked of them comes with a ton of deliberation and arguing about whether its bait or not (ie bowlgate, the giants in the mine outside rosohna, essiks “favors”).
but, on the flip side, they’re willing to tug just about anyone into their ranks. if society already hates them by default, what’s there to lose if they get close to someone? nothing, there’s only more love to be found! so it’s adopting random bird girls on the road, its sending cupcakes to a hag that cursed your friend, its sending messages to everyone you’ve ever met just to check in, it’s making someone sit in the hot tub with you and share trauma and then when you find out he started a war you say “we get it bro” and kiss him on the forehead. it’s “welcome to the mighty nein”.
and it’s also very interesting, i think, to talk about the ways in which the party interacts with themselves. vox machina was a family, undoubtedly, as is the nein now. but vox machina ... had a lack of desperation to their attachment. i mean for one, they took a full year off from adventuring together and scattered cross continent. even if the nein gets down time like they did, i expect they’ll just trail each other around like lemmings. (its kind of what they’ve been doing from hiatus until now with the eiselcross arc starting).
but vox machina just ... went. and scanlan walked away from the party and (after the heat of the moment), they agreed to just let him be. and pike would spend weeks on quests for sarenrae without much of a complaint. even at the end - and this will be a controversial take, i know - but they let vax go pretty easily. (sure, mechanically they were wiped from fighting, but besides tears the only attempt to defy trq was from percy, which even he gave up on with minimal struggle because vax said to stop it). that’s not to say they don’t miss each other when they’re gone! of course they do!!! but they trust each other to go off into the world, because the world as whole is a place they trust.
(the one exception to this might be vex, who fought every one of these situations adamantly, but that’s a whole separate essay about her issues stemming from an innate sense of ‘failed family’ that she’s desperate to not repeat, and less about a mistrust of everyone until proven otherwise)
the nein on the other hand. hoo boy. they’ve been hot glued to each other’s hips since day one. So many quotes (many from beau, which could be worked into my previous vex essay, as they’re very much cross-campaign foils. getting sidetracked again) are about their inability to separate. “You don’t get to choose who cares about you”; “No one goes”; “If one of us is gone for more than 7 days assume we’re dead and have a funeral”; “Do we have co-dependecy issues?” Jester’s cool personal vacation to her god’s get together turned into a party with everyone because why would she go anywhere without the nein? Veth’s time with Luc and/or Yeza is constantly overrun with the rest of the nein dropping in for fun. Even small things like shopping trips are so much more “oh well if you’re going then i’ll go” snowballs than they ever were with vm.
Also, ashley’s absences had to be much more forceful than in c1. Post episode 11, the only time yasha left the group (rather than someone else piloting her) of her own free will was when she ran in grief from molly’s grave. And yes, there’s something to be said about “oh they were on a boat for a long time she had nowhere to go” but if Matt can justify astral projection pike, i feel like he could justify ‘the stormlord teleports yasha away for a bit’ and he chose not to.
Because!!!!!!!!! of the dynamic that the nein has!!!!!!!! Because of this idea that the world is bad and cold and full of hate and in here in our little hut (soon to be mansion??????) it’s safe and good and full of love and no one can leave because then you’d be going somewhere much more dangerous and we can’t have that, now can we?
.....
well uh. that’s a lot of words. i hope they made some sense??? and were at all what you were expecting???? thank u for sending the ask tho this was very fun to write!!
tldr: vox machina is a group of people who were betrayed by one bad figure, so they trust the world and are wary of the individual; whereas the nein is a group of people who were failed by the world at large so they welcome the loner and fear the pack.
#critical role#vox machina#the mighty nein#critical role meta#hey the actual essay bit turned out be 1200 words On The Nose
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in defense of the knights of favonius
Looks like I'm writing a post defending a fictional military dictatorship.
About Diluc, II: Huh? Knights of Favonius? ...I have nothing to say about them. We have different views is all.
Au contraire, Master Diluc. You have plenty to say.
So, I was prompted to write this after reading some of the hot takes in the notes of my "a hate letter to Diluc (no not really)" post. I did not expect the response it got because my exasperation with Diluc seemed to both strike a nerve in some people and resonate with some people.
*bonks Diluc* why are you so controversial???? I just wanted to write a meta post about how hard it is to write you?? fuckin- *bonks him again*
The point of me bringing up Jean and Kaeya (and then Yo bringing up Eula) was that Diluc...doesn't treat them all that well.
About Jean, Responsibilities: Her unparalleled sense of responsibility is the sole reason why she still hasn't found her true calling.
About Kaeya: Kaeya? You can only trust half of what he says... at best.
About Eula: Ah, yes... I've heard about her. She has her own convictions. Her determination to liberate herself from the shackles of her clan is praiseworthy. But, she's... joined the Knights of Favonius.
Listen, I don't actually feel all that strongly about liking/disliking Diluc, my original point was that he's difficult to write. But I do feel strongly about the Knights.
Here's my point in this post: Diluc comes off as incredibly condescending!
Jean is working her ass off. If you read her voicelines and story, you can see how deeply she cares about Mondstadt, about the knights, about her heritage and her work. Mondstadt is her everything. Hell, the Gunnhildr motto is "For Mondstadt, always." She's so overworked that she needs to be tricked into a birthday party and her story quest is about her literally working herself into exhaustion and collapsing.
Because she loves her city that much.
And for Diluc to swan in here, knowing full well what kind of a person Jean is, knowing full well how devoted she is and how much work she does, and say that she "still hasn't found her true calling" because she's part of the Knights? Because that's what he's implying! Cmon, man. It's the equivalent of, like, your parents trashing on you for wanting to major in art or something.
Hell, he knows she's overworked!
About Jean, Enemies: Trifling matters can become Jean's greatest enemy.
Hey! Yeah! She's overworked! And his quest has you help him to not only subvert her authority by fucking with the Knights, but generating a whole slime crisis so he could go off and play vigilante. What the fuck did he think would happen if he failed to hold up the Abyss Order with the Knights already occupied? With the shorthanded Knights already occupied with a problem he created? And what if one of the Knights had gotten injured dealing with the slime problem? Diluc, that's on your head.
Sure, he succeeded at taking them down, because this is Diluc Ragnvindr. He can't lose /s. But the fact that he takes all this responsibility on himself displays a startling amount of arrogance and lack of foresight that, yeah, pisses me off.
Onto Kaeya: Diluc obviously has issues with Kaeya. Fine. Fair. He doesn't need to like him. Kaeya's also an ass sometimes so, yeah, alright. But he's so dismissive of him.
Kaeya also works his ass off, as much as Traveler teases him for slacking. And sure, maybe he's the Knights' biggest flight risk. But Diluc never acknowledges the fact that Kaeya works so damn hard--he has a whole list of Treasure Hoarder names. He has a spy in the Hoarders. He's Jean's confirmed second in command. Hell, this man spent all of the Windblume festival doing paperwork! Kaeya hauls ass for the Knights and Diluc's entire is opinion is "yeeeeeahhhh but he's faaaaaake :("
It's just frustrating! This man seems to respect nobody except himself!
And Eula! Eula Lawrence, who has to put up with outright vitriol from the citizens she's sworn to protect. She, out of everyone, has the most reason to turn into Mondstadt's enemy. The most reason to quit the Knights when the going got rough.
But she decided not to! She chose the populace's disgust and loathing over betraying Mondstadt and she continues to do her job despite the discrimination! And Diluc, who is Mondstadt's darling, has the gall to shit on her career choices?
Diluc, a little bit of empathy or respect for people other than yourself would be nice. A little bit of foresight would be nice.
Because his very first voiceline in game is trashing the Knights. The Knights who, mind you, are shorthanded. Varka fucked off with the entire cavalry, who make up an entire unit that Kaeya, ostensibly, commands. They're spread so thin that they're forced to rely on Traveler, a foreigner who fell out of the sky, to help them out. So thin that Jean needs to help people out finding their lost cats!
Mondstadt is a big region! You almost never see a Knight procrastinating. They're always patrolling or standing guard. These guys are doing their damndest to keep the region under control and they're just swamped. They simply don't have the manpower of the Millelith, for example. And Diluc's response isn't really to help them out.
No, it's to continue his personal revenge quest against the Abyss Order and actively subvert their authority.
And I get he has his reasons. I get he has redeeming qualities and I know this post comes off as me being a Diluc anti. I'm really not.
I think he has an intriguing character even if I also think he's poorly written. I think he has a lot of potential, narratively, that may or may not get squandered. And I wish that he and the Knights had a better relationship, but I understand why he quit.
I can think he's a cool character and also greatly dislike his choices/attitude at the same time. But, yeah.
That's the post.
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so today I just watched the first episode of Almost Paradise! And I’ve gotta say, I am impressed. I already had it on my watchlist but I was planning to wait to watch it for a while until I could let Eliot fade a bit from memory, just so I wouldn’t automatically think of him while watching Kane. But I ran into an article this weekend about how it was filmed in the Philippines and the details of that, and my curiosity was piqued considerably more, so I figured... why not?
(I also started White Collar this weekend and that was very enjoyable, but that’s a post for another day.)
Anyway, my brain’s buzzing now, so have some first impressions and reactions, plus initial meta-analysis because I am intrigued. In hindsight I probably should have recorded first impressions while I was watching, but I’ll do my best to remember the bits that stuck out. Warning for... exceedingly long post.
ooo, okay, so he’s got a medical condition. I faaaaintly remember reading about this in the summary but I didn’t pay much attention to that, oops.
telling a guy played by Chris Kane not to get his heartrate up! that’s definitely gonna happen. definitely. one hundred percent. not like this guy loves fighting or anything
(also tbh the joke about, ah, sexual dysfunction admittedly left a sour taste in my mouth, because I do not go for that kind of thing, but... this is Devlin and Kane, so I’m trusting, based off Leverage experience, that they aren’t gonna be too inappropriate. [In hindsight there are actually interesting meta reasons for this so the sour taste has dissipated somewhat.])
this poor doctor. she’s so done with him.
...he’s definitely not gonna pay attention to the monitor is he
that journal’s gonna get zero use oop
(I was duly impressed when he actually did use it later)
huh, liking how we immediately dive into the effect tourism has had on the Philippines. so we’re getting some commentary here too? I can deal with that
...wow. bad shop. eek
I’m sorry but I am loving the touch with the floorboards and such breaking beneath Alex. the look on his face is just perfect
and the monitor goes off! for tbh the last reason I expected it to first go off for, excellent
MOTORCYLE? did they give him a motorcycle?!
awww no it’s the baddies who have the motorcycle :(
hmm this should be interesting. loving the look of this leader guy tho
--aaaand good asthetic guy is dead! with an ice pick! creepy and creative!
bar. no way this could go wrong
internal battle! understandable that Alex wants out, buuuuuuut if he’s anything like I suspect he is--
--yup, picking a fight, with a damn pool cue--
--not picking a fight?
...picking a fight. by being friendly. *sigh*
yuuuuuuuup. that’s definitely good for your heart
badass fighting scene! with a pool cue, that’s a new one! love seeing Kane take ordinary objects and turn them into fighting tools
(ngl this had Eliot vibes. that said I am thrilled to see how damn good these fight scenes are and this is making me even more excited for Redemption)
aaaaaaaaaand oh fuck this was a police setup. which. I actually did not see coming, huh
ahahah they’re pissed! because he messed up their bust? or because he just saved their asses?
...probably technically the former but I suspect the latter is also true
refusing to get Involved being foreshadowed by his indecision earlier! of course he’s going to get Involved anyway, only question is how
“hitter” I SEE YOU. I SEE YOU AND YOUR REFERENCES. I SEE YOU DEVLIN AND KANE
pfffffffffffFFFFFT the meditation, oh gods
that voice. oh Alex.
I genuinely cannot tell if this is him actually trying or if this is him begrudgingly making an attempt because he has to
lacquering(?) the doors, which, hey, actually look pretty nice--this place is gonna look good when it’s done isn’t iii--
oh fuck Alex is being attacked
(this is definitely something to be concerned about. yes. totally. not like we haven’t already seen him take down a bunch of guys.)
with a garrot! this is definitely totally not how he’s gonna get Involved
oh my gods the detail with the paint. nothing says Competent like getting irritated at how the baddie interrupted your house restoration
hehehehe Involved
oooh, hmm, he thinks they sent the guy after him? what kind of corruption has Alex faced? I mean it’s not an unreasonable fear, but jeez, it sounds like this has happened to him before. doesn’t say much good about the DEA...
huh, this is a level of disturbed I haven’t seen from Kane before. which, granted, I have only seen him in Leverage, but I’ve never seen him pull this out before. the voice crack is an excellent touch
also, worth noting, Alex is definitely a notable level of... hmm, paranoid? this is just a tad bit frantic, though that’s understandable from a guy who almost got killed while in the middle of an attempted meditation
oh god being cocky in the middle of a briefing. poor Kai
--being cocky and competence porn! of course he takes the watch and turns it into a lesson
...he must be a hell of a teacher
(also, bonus points for actually using the journal. maybe he’s taking this health thing more seriously than I thought he would?)
may I repeat: COMPETENCE PORN
uh-huh, you’re so not involved, definitely, Alex, not like you’re gonna get pulled straight into this or anything
Ernesto is just watching to see how things play out, Kai is... trying to do things the right way, and Alex...
...Alex gives precisely zero fucks. buddy you are so not subtle
right, walking straight into the lion’s den! radiating confidence! terrifying
this is a disturbing level of truth he’s sharing for this lie. I mean, best lies are crafted from truth, but... jeez
hm. so is Alex also a “I don’t like guns” type guy?
(probably not for the same reasons as Eliot doesn’t [his is definitely more in the “they make it too easy to kill” department whereas I would guess Alex has either more tactical or PTSD reasons], but, hmm. this is something to watch for)
(did they know they were bringing back Leverage when they set up Almost Paradise? I’m genuinely wondering if they didn’t write some Eliot traits into Alex specifically bc they knew Kane missed playing him)
this is a fantastically confident level of grifting--what exactly did he do in the DEA, precisely?
...ah. cool asthetic guy. stuffed in the freezer. gotta admit, I definitely didn’t see that one coming. creepy!
(and it looks like you actually managed to shake Alex a little, hah)
aaaaaand in the meantime we have Kai following his advice! in an... interesting way. hm.
(surprisingly this does not annoy me that much in hindsight. not sure why)
and understandably, this does not go over well! except, oh, fuck, DEA guy. this ain’t gonna be good
...worse. worse than I thought. what happened to you, Alex? former partner? whaaat
“attacks”?
this gonna be the typical “traumatized white dude has Anger Attacks” type thing?
honestly I immediately went “probably not” given how it was handled in Leverage. wasn’t sure though. but that does leave the question of what sort of attacks? it doesn’t seem like it’d be meltdowns, so what does that leave?
hmmm. DEA guy is an Ass. we Do Not Like him. I’ve known Alex for less than half an hour but you do not do that to him. you do not use trauma against your guy, Jerkface.
cutting a deal? this should be interesting
...well shit. I. am sincerely hoping Kai isn’t about to walk in on anything too bad
this definitely isn’t gonna be a fight though, that I called right off the bat
--bottles. dammit
oh, Christ. attempted OD or just drunk?
just drunk! good! well, very Not Good, but better than the other thing
pffffft dunking him in the water and then him going straight back to the water when he sees her, that is both absolutely hilarious and deeply concerning
aaand I’m agreeing with Kai but also, poor guy just got confronted with a hell of a lot of things that would raise his trau--
...mm. yeah. that’d be it.
...I. was. not expecting that much backstory info straight off. holy cow, Alex. that is. messed up. someone get this man a hug
“one of the guys that cared too much”
(...like you?)
(or is that why you won’t let yourself care now?)
fuck, there was a lot more to that boat scene than I thought. ow
partner who betrayed him like that? I’m just. gods.
Trust Issues is definitely gonna be a Thing isn’t it
can we just take a second to appreciate how Christian Kane is playing the absolute hell out of this character
aaaand Kai brings him back to the city for a Heartwarming Reminder of why he was in the game! this is very tropey but it is, as John Rogers has pointed out, an instance of the “well-worn writing tool” rather than feeling cheesy!
holy crap Kai has lost. a lot of people. oh man
ahahahaha classic “why did you bring me here?” line! you know why, Alex. you know why
oh, and Ernesto gets a chance to help him out! I’m already enjoying this so much
awww and Kai shows up to help encourage him! with coffee! supportive friend and very obvious but honestly okay love interest! good!!!
(what the heck is with Devlin and his crew and sticking Kane with two besties? based on Ernesto’s dynamic with him I’m guessing this isn’t gonna be an OT3 but. I am loving the trend)
“I’m gonna regret this in the morning” pfft
huh, working with the DEA agents. not like he’s gonna go off script or anything. that’s totally not gonna happen is it
hehe irritated look while they’re putting on the mic. he is so very unimpressed
--”little episodes”--episodes?
moment of appreciation for the un-forced-feeling diversity in these police squads
“how’s the anxiety?” I’m sorry what
hold up, when we say “episodes”--are we talking panic attacks? does Alex have actual goddamn anxiety?
...actually with PTSD? that would make complete sense. I am... intrigued. I am really hoping that that’s the case, actually, because having seen how well they handled Parker and her PTSD in Leverage (as well as Nate’s and Eliot’s) I have a lot of faith that they could pull that off really well, actually. That would be good.
ppFFFT TAKING OFF THE WIRES RIGHT OFF THE BAT
wait what. you’re telling them everything? what’s your game here?
“get that frikkin gun outta my face!” yup, not a fan of guns! no disarming though? huh
(also can we just. appreciate how Kane manages to make “frikkin” sound just as much like the cuss it’s replacing?)
(LET ALEX SAY FUCK)
oh. OH
hi Ernesto! hi Kai! I see what y’all doing
ohhhhhhhhhh Alex you goddamn genius. Getting rid of all of the drugs so there’s no way the precise thing he was claiming to be doing can happen. I like this
THE MEDITATION COMING ON ON THE RECORDING I CAN’T--OH MY GODS
Alex please tell me you know how to disarm a gun. please. guns are not effective at that distance
OH. OH I DID NOT SEE KAI COMING.
got ‘em! murder confession, how did I not see that coming? good stuff
Kai can fight!
KAI CAN FUCKING FIGHT WOW
I am very much appreciating Kai right now
also is that a FLYING KICK from Ernesto?
they better give these people more fight scenes
aaaaand straight into the water, oh god. I’m assuming this was a choice made because Alex is familiar with this territory? ...I do not think I want to know where Alex learned to fight underwater.
(I really really really want to know.)
how the fuck has your monitor not gone off by now Alex
choking him out underwater, okay, wow
what size are your lungs? this is long
extra kudos for excellent underwater filming and wow I am hoping the actors actually came up for air
(this is also unreasonably beautiful for a scene where you’re choking out a drug lord. the water is so pretty)
Evil DEA guy (no I am not going to learn his name, he doesn’t deserve it) is gonna be Alex’s Agent Sterling, isn’t he? this should be interesting
heh, police chief is taking his side! good stuff, good stuff
(it is very nice to see Alex getting some people in his corner after knowing what hell the DEA put him through)
Alex has fallen so damn hard for Kai. this is very very adorable actually
awww he’s really getting into fixing up the shop, isn’t he? I’m sincerely looking forward to seeing how he gets this up and going, it really looks like he’s enjoying himself
somehow I am starting to wonder if the cocky “oh yeah I’m opening up a gift shop how exciting huh” thing at the start wasn’t... actually genuine. he... is enjoying this, isn’t he? good. very good
I am unreasonably invested in this man’s wellbeing for one episode in
!!!!!!!!! HE GETS HIS PARADE
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
giving him his reason to keep going! yes! yessss
oh Alex you are attached now. you are very attached. good luck my dude and don’t let the trust issues get in the way
this is a good show. this is a heckin awesome show.
also, side note, it is SO PRETTY
I am just loving loving loving all of the scenery. competence porn AND landscape and city porn. beautiful. perfection. excellent
...that was. much longer than I anticipated oops
anyway, conclusion: hot damn this is a fun show! I am very excited to keep watching this. Alex officially has my heart, even if he’s a bit of a cocky bastard sometimes. Kane is fucking hilarious. (More reasons to be excited for Redemption!) Kai and Ernesto also have my heart, and I am extremely interested to see their character development.
Honestly, the beauty is surprising. I didn’t expect to just enjoy how pretty it is. The blues of the ocean, the intense tropical colors, even the run-down gift shop--there’s such a gorgeous aesthetic to it all. If I wasn’t already invested in the characters and plot, I’d be invested for that alone.
So... I have some thoughts on Alex and the show structure.
He’s obviously very disillusioned. There’s a lot of nods to the idea of war--he’s commonly referring to himself as a soldier, as a veteran, maybe as a casualty. I’m gonna take a totally wild guess here and say this show is going to be focused on the drug issues in the Philippines. (Wow, Synapse, how the heck’d you guess that?) I do find describing the war on drugs as a war, and going into the terminology that comes with it, very appropriate, and I like how this show is actively calling this to attention rather than using it as a convenient plot. They’re actually addressing the issue and discussing its impact. And given how overlooked certain aspects of the impact of the drug war on the Philippines is, this is a good choice, especially in order to alert American viewers to the issue. I’m curious to see how they handle that.
Again, interesting drawing parallels to war, too, and comparing it against the likes of WWI and Vietnam. It really gives that sense of weight to the issue and defines a vital aspect of it: the impact of the war on drugs on the people involved. It emphasizes that the people who are fighting it suffer consequences and PTSD just as a soldier in the field does, and it also emphasizes, with Kai, that it isn’t just the people actively fighting who bear the consequences. It’s also the people on the sidelines--it’s the families, the people on the streets by the gunfights, the economical impact, etcetera.
But there’s also an element to Alex’s character that automatically makes him relatable to a lot of people... and it has nothing to do with the PTSD, nothing to do with the war on drugs, nothing really to do with the main issues. It is, simply, the intense hopelessness and depression that comes with trying to make a difference. In his case it’s making a difference on a severe worldwide issue. But the vast majority, if not all, of Almost Paradise’s audience should be able to relate to a feeling of never doing enough. And there’s certainly a large section of that group who can relate to being part of a fight that never seems to end. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing--if it’s driven at helping, it rarely ever feels like you ever do enough. But the advice given is excellent. One of the best things to do, when you’re feeling hopeless over this, is to focus on and take deep joy in the impact you do make.
Alex is an expression of a frustration that a lot of people deal with. This, I think, is one of the reasons why he instantly drew me--and presumably the rest of the audience--in (outside of a fantastic actor and great humor). He’s relatable. He’s something that most people can see a part of themselves in.
Anyway, symbolism and real-world talk aside, this is just... fun. It’s genuine fun. We’re covering rough issues, but there’s a lot of well-written tropes in here too that are written in that way that makes them enjoyable to relive rather than painful. The humor is delightful and plentiful. There’s a lot of beautiful feel-good moments. I’m suspecting this’ll be a comfort show, and I am perfectly all right with that.
Onto the next episode!
#Almost Paradise#Almost Paradise spoilers#Almost Paradise 1x01#reaction post#christian kane#(please please please let these be the right tags)#synapse reacts#this is a new thing!#hopefully y'all like the new thing!#even though I am exceedingly long-winded#I mean this is basically the equivalent of me yelling into the void#but I need SOME void to yell into#so this might as well be it#and perhaps someone'll get a kick out of it#so why not?
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Abb/y has something to s/ay
Let me premise this by reminding everyone that Abby -like Trump-doesn’t “get” comedy. They literally do not understand jokes, punchlines, or humor. So a satirical show about the Hollywood song writers falls flat. Her time away did nothing to sway her conspiratorial aspirations or her misogynistic hatred of Mia. She watched Royalties not once, but twice... not to enjoy Darren’s creativity and performance, not to support the celebrity she stans, and not even to crack up at the humor, no she watched twice because she was looking for confirmation bias. She wanted to document all of the ways Darren wrote his CrissColfer truth into Pierce’s life and she obsessively listened to all of the diss-tracks he wrote to attack his wife.
Let me also premise this by saying I loved the show. I thought it was funny and the songs are so damn catchy. The lyrics are quintessential Darren- funny, very clever, and raunchy.
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R/oyalties, the Tale of Two Shows with a Heaping Side of Meta
ajw720. So I just finished watching R/oyalties for the second time, this time solely focused on the meta. Look, we all know, the show is not good, it was not well written and the short format didn’t help as there was no option to develop character or plot. But D knew it would not be good, he apologized for it back in January 2019. And I think the effort he put into acting was the effort it deserved. Ok.
But his songs were genius. As were the videos, hence why i call it the tale of two shows. It truly was like watching content made by completely different people. I concur with MH, D is “intensely talented.” And the part of this show he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into, the songs, are evident of this.
But this is a post about that Heaping Side of Meta. I think D, knowing that that show would not be made in the manner he envisioned, instead used it as a vehicle to make some bold statements and parallels with his career and public life. Shall we begin? And please, unlike the perfect song, this is not a perfect post and after the second round of watching i canceled my Quibi subscription and never plan to look back, so please feel free to add. I know some of these have been pointed out but I thought it was valuable to have one post.
One idea to inpsire the song? A tiny FROG on a dime.
D’s shirt 1st seen in Episode 2: “It is hard to soar like an Eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys”
And of course “Call me Goldilocks bitch” Remind you of something?
How about the entirety of Episode 3 when we are told that an artist is completely the product of the team. That no matter what the artists expresses they want, it doesn’t matter because the Label/manager/publicist/on camera agent/legal will always have a say. And how it will play in America or the Foreign market are key metrics of how the product is produced and presented. I love the line of the songwriter that tells P/ierce and S/ara to “get out while they are young.” Or the line by one of her team “we don’t want something different, we want something the same that is different.” And in the end P&S simply took one of KK old songs and reworked it, making something different that is not different and her team loved it.
And of course, the line that was an utter slap in the face to the most over praised “director” of an indie band video ever when D reminds her of the real director in his life, the man set to direct major motion pictures, “you know who would be perfect to direct? C/hris. C/hris would shatter this.”
Not much in Episode 4, but the gorilla suit in my opinion was mocking of a certain MMR video where we watched Swiller and a banana in a song about a gorilla. Images I never need to see in my head again.
Episode 5, a gem, I am still so fucking proud of D and how he mocked her throughout the entirety of the episode. New lines I love of that amazing song he wrote about her (in addition to those i posted previously here) “Some people say I’m a genius, which comes from the greek word for Latin, and other people will say, alright in fact i’m a fuckin’s genius” “I’m not saying I’m a god, but I’m not saying I’m not a god.” Mocking at its finest made all that much better by the band’s name “Switchback Jacket” that D describes as “butt rock emo” that is performed by a band that doesn’t actually sing, they are just the public image. He literally told us that what we see is an image created for the public and that it is completely fake. And he used his beard to make this statement. Just brilliant. I cannot praise him enough for this, stealing her moment in the sun and making her look like an utter fool, telling us just how narcissistic she is.
Also some wonderful lines from that episode that are beyond telling:
“Power, it felt good to remind Kevin that I hold power over him. You always want to be the one with power”
“p/ierce wouldn’t know where to take a shit if I didn’t tell him.”
“she is like my wife except we don’t have sex and we are friends.”
“alright boss, I am ready to record that song, but where should i take a shit?”
“You will do anything to succeed.”
Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years. 3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years. It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal. But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on:
And the cherry on top of this episode, the inclusion of C/huck (for some background, see my post here).
I really like the one bit of dialogue between P&S, where D pretty much tells us once again that M will use anyone to get what she wants:
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe, I don’t like where we are now? There were a lot of really great things about the way things were. Things that are worth preserving. Not that you just take and use and through out.”
Episode 9 had some really impactful lines:
“you think i wouldn’t steal for my career? You think I wouldn’t lie? I would do anything.”
The Neils being the nameless individuals, nothing more than a number, who are the ones who actually create the product. And then the song, some of the translations are D telling you how he feels, because sometimes i think in terms of his public image he is just a Neil trying to escape the cage that has been built around him:
“I dream about getting away, I have been locked up in this cage wishing i could make my escape. I hate that I need you.”
And finally Episode 10, where we learn the Neils get no credit and no royalties. This reminds me of a script C wrote that never saw the light of day but suddenly the next season of AHS had the same theme as his script.
And that is all i got, if you have more please add. I think the fact that D took what he knew would be a mediocre project and projected his voice and story throughout it was pretty genius and a smart way to utilize this vehicle, that was clearly payout for so many that have used him for years and to shine a bright light on the truth.
elicc The “perfect song”’s performer is called Bailey Rouge, a clear link to TLOS.
He is a genius.
ajw720 @elicc damn, that was on my list and I forgot. And we all know who Red is inspired by, so seems fitting Bailey Rouge would get the perfect song.
ajw720. Just adding one more I thought about putting in my original post but admittedly think it’s a stretch. But maybe not? Just adding here for fun.
When Theo tells P to bottle up all his romantic feelings I couldn’t help but think of a certain chapter in a book
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Oy Vei! Abby didn’t use her time away getting any therapy or perspective. She hasn’t learned any lessons. I have no doubt she’s been reading just as much as she did before and she’s speaking to Cassie, Flowers et al all day. It’s really sad. It’s sad that she can’t see how silly she sounds, what an asshole her version of Darren is. If she could restrain herself even a little bit it might come off less unhinged because turning every single moment of Royalties into some crisscolfer wet dream reeks of desperation.
Abby hates Royalties. In last week’s “Dear D” she had the audacity to say
....Fans that are beyond devoted and mainly because of the way you have treated fans with respect and a level of caring that far surpasses the majority of public figures. And while I am not enjoying the show itself, the music shows how diverse you are as a writer and how you can virtually write for anyone or any genre. The songs are fantastic. Memorable. And really fun.
She knows the the Langs wrote the show and Darren wrote the songs but what she can’t seem to comprehend is that Darren IS Royalties. Everything in the show is Darren’s.
Staying in the closet would be less painful than trying to express oneself through a short-form satirical comedy. Can you imagine trying to express your devastation and pain through Kick Your Shoes off or Break It In?
“I’m the king of the hard fuck....pile drive the bed like a young buck...if you like feathery shit thats pretty cool but I don’t need that...people say I fuck too soft, saying that I can’t please a woman”
BTW Abby- “call me goldilocks bitch” isn’t a reference to TLOS it’s a reference to Goldilocks and Three Bears because because he fucks perfect, not too soft, not too hard. It’s much more believable that he is referring to a random nursery rhyme than it is to believe he is referring to a children’s book his lover/husband/boyfriend wrote 8 years ago. You might love the book but Chris has moved on and written new things.
Darren wrote funny lyrics. I loved Kick Your Shoes Off because it’s written by a man whose watched his wife and female friends wear painful shoes for the same of fashion even though its painful as fuck.
“Yeah, I’m a bad bitch so don’t be mad bitch. I turned the room into a catwalk like a sad bitch. I can’t feel my toes in these stilettos. when I walk out my roomate says you’ll regret those....Beauty is pain but oh I look amazing. You won’t hear me complaining but oh my instep (inside?) is screaming...kick your shoes off (kick em off) ooooooo I do what I want..(Kick em off) ooooo Hey I can’t walk in these, blisters start to bleed now both my feet are swollen. Kick your shoes off (Kick em off).....It’s like i feel so good when my shoes are on, but like i also feel sooooo good when they are off”
Abby’s convinced I am So Much Better Than You is straight up about Mia because Mia is in the video. She listened to it on repeat the day after it came out. In her “Letter to D” last week she said
Especially after you made an effort to mock her for the entirety of Tuesday when her episode aired (and for the record I am still really, really proud of what you did with that episode and how you handled the roll out, that is the fighter I admire and that inspires me. I listened to I am so much better than you on repeat on my drive home from work yesterday).
Good Lord The lyrics are as silly as all the other songs: “My mirror wants to bone me (but it can’t because it’s a mirror)” How did Abby miss the obvious TLOS mirror/ Halloween costume reference here?
“You keep doing push ups while I get buff eating mac and cheese (with overpriced lobster and truffles because I’m worth it)”
“Some people say I’m a genius (which comes from the greek work for latin) Some other people will say yeah I’m right I’m a fucking genius (I’m not saying I’m a god but I’m not saying I’m not a god).
“And even when you sneeze, God blesses me, he blesses me. And even when you sneeze, god blesses me, he blesses me, he blesses me”
“I’m am so much better than you at everything”.
She believes Darren would be- and stay- married to a women that he publicly ridicules and attacks. I don’t get why she thinks that is something admirable .
She thinks Also You is referring to Ben living with them. Where to start with this one? She says
“Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years. 3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years. It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal. But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on”
I’m gobsmacked. Also You is about Polyamory. She doesn’t even understand her own theories if she thinks that is the message Darren wants to share about Mia and Ben. In no world would someone try to proclaim their wife was cheating on them with a live-in houseguest by writing an episode called Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild. Also, someone needs to explain cuckholding to her because her theories about Ben and Mia make Darren a cuck.
OMG I just realized that Darren is a cuck and Royalties proves it. He hired Kether to be his costar in Royalties,...Kether is in You’re the Worst as Lindsay. Lindsay cuckholds her husband. Bam! mic drop.
Why isn’t Perfect Song about Mia, you know, if we are playing confirmation bias “No one is as good as you because you're my perfect song”
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Part 4: Axel was a bad, bad man
Let's look back at Axel from the KH Trinity, shall we?
He was a member of Organization XIII and unquestionably one of the bad guys. COM showed that he was an evil, selfish, arrogant, manipulative, cold-blooded assassin who did everything for his own benefit, only hinting at a "soft spot" related to Sora somehow. KH2's prologue confirmed this to be Roxas, who had become his best friend due to making him feel like he had a heart. But when push came to shove, Axel still placed his own interests above all else and attempted to murder Roxas, only to be struck down himself.
That was all Axel was supposed to be: just a secondary villainous henchman. But his popularity caused his role to be expanded so that he survived into KH2's main story. And while he felt as shoe-horned in as he was there, he at least met a conclusive ending: completing his character arc at the penultimate stage of the game by finally learning to do the selfless thing for his friend and sacrifice his life for him in a legitimately moving scene. Axel was a good character and a great villain, and we didn't need any more of him afterward.
But then we got Days, where Axel is one of the main characters. And while his position as an assassin who put his own agenda and desires above all else is ultimately maintained, the game's developers also felt the need to make him more likable and sympathetic in order to justify his role as one of the central protagonists. So for the most part he's portrayed as this really cool and funny guy who says his "Got it memorized?" catch-phrase a lot and buys his friends ice cream and teaches them life lessons and becomes bent on protecting them. His former friend and partner in crime Saix is turned into even more of a bastard, conveniently making Axel look good by comparison. And because he ends up torn between Roxas and Xion due to their clashing fates, it makes him more sympathetic both in the moment and retroactively: now his obsession to get Roxas back in KH2 comes off as less deranged because it's fueled by his feelings for Roxas and Xion, and he simply can't remember the latter.
Even more insidiously, we get to learn his original human name: Lea, which is somehow pronounced "Lee" even when it should be pronounced "Lee-Ah". This opened the door for us to not only see his human self as a child in Birth by Sleep, but for him to be resurrected under that name in Dream Drop Distance...although he ultimately insists on being called Axel anyway, just as he insists on still wearing that damn black coat.
How does that even work? Supposedly, when a Heartless and a Nobody are destroyed, the human is revived. But somehow they still have the full memory of their Nobodies to the point where there's practically no difference between them? Even though it's a heart that makes up a person's essence in the KH universe, so what happened with the body and soul when that heart was separated from them shouldn't count? And if the Organization members can still remember everything upon their recompletion, then why didn't Sora have all of Roxas' memories after they merged together? Or Kairi have all of Namine's? It makes no sense and was only done so that characters like Axel could come back due to their popularity, rendering their deaths absolutely meaningless.
And as a human, the whitewashing of Axel's character is complete. He faces no consequences from Ienzo or Even for murdering them as Zexion and Vexen, in fact they're all too eager to assist him in his cause. His entitlement to have whatever he wants, whether it be his friends back or a fucking Keyblade, is rewarded. Kairi forgives him for kidnapping her and calls him "a really sweet guy", "impossible not to like", "only wanted to help his friend"...and yeah, that narrative is firmly kept in place even when it contradicts Days! In Days, when Axel tells Xion "You two just keep running, but I'll always be there to bring you back!", it's a selfish threat: Axel can not accept Roxas and Xion's wants and needs because they inconvenience his own, and he will keep dragging them back to the Organization they wish to escape just so that he can continue to benefit from the gratification they make him feel. And yet once he's revived as Lea, these exact words are reframed as some sort of noble promise he made to his friends, that he would always be there to bring them back from fading out of existence. It is shocking how dishonest the writing around Axel is. Rather than actually redeem him, they just write him as a good guy and pretend that's what he's always been, when it's not.
But honestly, even if they had actually redeemed him I wouldn't have ever been happy with Axel becoming a major hero, because it's just not an organic turn in any way. It's not the kind of role he was ever written to fill back in the KH Trinity, and it stems solely from his popularity with fans, mainly fans who brush his many vices and wrong-doings under the rug and who romanticize his unhealthy fixation on a 15-year old boy. Imagine if in the Star Wars series, Boba Fett had gotten rewritten as a hero and joined the main cast just because he was popular with fans. Would that have made any sense? No, it wouldn't, and neither does this.
The nadir of how badly Axel's character has been affected by the decision to keep him around as a heroic mainstay is in Kingdom Hearts III, where this nonsensically meta exchange happens:
Xemnas: Ah, ever the rogue pawn. Knocked from the board early in the game. Utterly useless and forgotten.
Axel: You kidding? Do you know how popular I am? I got loads of people rootin' for me. Sorry, boss. No-one axes Axel! Got it memorized?
Someone should have axed Axel. Better him than his integrity as a character!
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Team Red visits area 51
So, this is my first attempt at writing a true team Red fanfic. Anyways, for context, all three have worked together before, but Peter dosent know who DD is (just that he's a lawyer) and DD only knows that Peter is in high school. Both DD and Peter know who Deadpool is. Deadpool doesn't know who Spiderman is, but knows who DD is. Slight change to what's in Area 51. First, theres what's actually in area 51 (spoilers, not saying here) but the meme of this universe is that's where the cryptids are (vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc.) Also, the group invading Area 51 features some inserts, because at least some people need to show up to raid Area 51. Gwenpool shows up and uses her powers, so it gets a bit meta, since for Gwenpool it is a super powers thing, not a mental illness thing. All glory to @morepopcornplease ,@smokeyloki @supesofherown for willing to be my area 51 squad
Matt was tired.
There were robots everywhere. Robots on the ceiling, on the floor, just...robots. They were difficult to track, and, more importantly, difficult to punch. Matt's knuckles bled. The suit helped, but not enough.
When did Hell's Kitchen get so wild? Matt wondered. Then suddenly, Matt's world blurred and flipped. He was hanging upside down by his ankle.
"Hey, Double D! Hope you don't mind me bringing in some reinforcements!"
Ah. Spiderman. And oh look. (Or not.) Deadpool. Daredevil gagged. The stench of decay was...distinctive.
Matt started tugging at the webbing around his ankle. It wouldn't unstick. Maybe he should start weilding swords. That way, he could cut himself free and escape while he had a chance.
Maybe he could get Elekra to show him how to use knives.
Deadpool jumped past him, dualweilding katanas. "Eyyyyy! Horn head joined the party!" Matt grumbled under his breath.
Deadpool and Spiderman fought side by side, Spiderman webbing down robots, and Deadpool either shooting or stabbing them. Meanwhile, Matt gnawed at his ankle. Eventually the flow of robots stopped. Deadpool cut Daredevil down.
Deadpool and Spiderman looked around, and fist bumped. Matt coughed loudly.
"I had it under control."
"Because that-" Deadpool gestured around them "-was in control."
"Could have taken care of it."
Deadpool walked over and placed his hands on Matt's shoulders. Matt wrinkled his nose. "Red, you were punching bare metal. With your fists. Let me see them." Deadpool went to grab Matt's hands. Matt pulled them away. Deadpool forcibly grabbed Matt's hands and took off his gloves.
"See? Perfectly fine."
"Ah yes, bloody knuckles are perfectly fine. Now, Webhead has a special mission he wants to invite you on. After that, you're gonna go home to your boy and he's gonna kiss your boo boos better."
"He's not my boy."
"He could be."
"He's married, I'm Catholic and I'm not interested."
"Suurree." Deadpool dropped Matt's hands. "If you are looking for someone else, you know where to find me." Deadpool wiggled his eyebrows, which caused his mask to shift a bit. Matt punched Deadpool. Deadpool laughed.
"See ya hornhead." Deadpool walked off.
"Catholic?" Spidey asked.
"Yep."
"Hmm, ironic considering..." Spiderman gestured to Matt, "...everything."
"Yeah. Ya got a question?:
"Oh yeah, wanna go to area 51 with me and Deadpool?"
"Spidey, I have a buisness to run. No."
"Oh come on! You should."
"Why?"
"Do it for the alien tech. Do it for the meme. Do it because we don't know what the government is hiding in there." Spiderman paused for dramatic effect. "We need to know if vampires really exist. You can't keep that stuff from people."
"No, and you're going to get arrested for it." Matt sighed. "Listen, if you're going to go, can I at least give you this?" Matt pulled a buisness card out of his suit, and handed it over to Spidey.
"Nelson and Murdock, attorneys at law?" Spiderman raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. I have them on speed dial in case I get arrested. Call them if you need legal help."
"Got it."
--
Matt tumbled into Foggy's apartment. Foggy materialized from his bedroom, bleary eyed.
"Here for checkup." Matt smiled.
"Good. I'll bring you some clean clothes. What bandages do you need? Do we need to call the Night Nurse?" Matt and Foggy had this check up system in place so they wouldn't have to bother her with minor wounds and Foggy could sleep soundly, such as twisted ankles and jammed fingers.
"Nope. Knuckles just need bandaging."
"Good. Though it says something about our lives that you are hurt at all, and I'm saying its fine."
"I know, Fogs." Foggy started applying rubbing alchohol to Matt's knuckles. Matt hissed a bit. "I miss the old days. When there were fewer heroes running around." Matt paused.
"Not when we didn't need spandex clad idiots?"
Matt snorted and thought about it for a bit. "Nah. I guess we always needed them."
"What did the idiots do this time?"
"They want to raid area 51."
"You're shitting me."
"Nope."
"They really are complete dumbasses. Utter morons." Foggy paused. "They'll be out of town for it, right?"
"Yeah..."
"You know where they live, right?"
"Just Wade."
"You could prank him."
"Hmmm... would you help?"
"If you can make sure he doesn't murder me." Foggy finished bandaging Matt's hands. "You're good to go. Do you need a change of clothes?"
"Yeah."
Foggy retrieved some sweatpants and a tshirt. He also got a paper bag out.
"Okay, I got a change of clothes, and a paper bag."
"Thanks, Foggy. You're the best."
"Text or call me when you're home safe."
"Will do."
--
Peter was out in the New Mexico desert, and it was nice. Warm. New York was cold. Peter was cold in New York. All the time.
DD thought it was because something with the Spider bite giving him a few cold blooded drawbacks. Wade thought it was because Peter was too skinny.
Which was because the bite fucked up his metabolism, he supposed.
But for now Peter was in the desert, and warm. It was pleasant.
For five seconds, more or less. He heard chatting, and decided to follow it.
He found a group of four people camped out in the desert, discussing strategies for getting into Area 51. They were all some degree of sunburned, sharing water bottles, and arguing about if they could expect anyone else to show up. Peter waved at them.
"Hello!" One of them responded.
"Oh, hey Spidey!" One of them yelled. She waved him over.
"Glad you could join us."
"We have a chance now!" One of them pumped her fist.
"Smokey, are these your reinforcements?"
"Hi, so, you're obviously Spiderman, I'm V, and this is Smokey," V, apparently, gestured to someone wearing a fedora, apparently Smokey, "Supes," V pointed to a woman in a Superman tshirt, "and Popcorn!" V gestured to a woman wearing a tank top that had "The only iron I pump is the IRON WILL OF GOD" on it.
"Popcorn?"
"She ate all the popcorn!" Smokey complained. Peter tilted his head.
"Smokey did most of the planning, including rations." Supes commented.
"Okay... I should be having a friend meet me here soon!"
"Awesome! Is he in the raid?"
"Yeah."
"Cool. We should talk strategy, while we wait for him to get here..."
--
So they figured that Deadpool would charge into Area 51 as a distraction. Once the guards left to fight him, the group of four would try to scale the fence. While the fence scaling was going on, Spidey would crawl through the drainage pipe to grab whatever paranormal stuff he could find. Leading an army, Spiderman would free the rest of them, allowing them to return home safely.
When Deadpool finally showed up, he laughed at their faces.
"Spidey, you're smarter than this. This isnt gonna work. Besides, I'm expecting one other person. She will help you out. A lot."
"Hello!" A loud, high pitched voice yelled from behind them.
Deadpool and Spiderman turned to see the pinkest person they had ever set eyes on.
--
Peter had thought Wade was crazy. Wade had thought Wade was crazy.
This was nothing compared to Gwen Poole. She was pink and energy, and mostly talked nonsense. Something about this all being fanfiction, and a disappointing lack of panels. Also, according to her, one of the four "self inserts" was "the author."
Wade thought he could keep up, but no. Whatever the fuck voices were in his head paled in comparison to whatever Gwen had.
Like, Deadpool occasionally thought he was in a comic, but she seemed to be able to do something about it. Dead silent explosions because "I caught the otomotapeia," inexplicable escapes...
Cuz if there's real weird shit in there, she can handle it.
As is though, she kept calling one of the people "the author" and it was making his own head spin. That's... not normally how this went. But she'd be going with the four civilians in. She'd be able to keep them alive.
And so it begins.
--
The plan started to fall apart immediately.
Deadpool was doing fine, Spiderman was doing fine.
Gwen and V were in a heated arguement.
"What do you mean, you didn't write any scenes inside area 51?"
"I told you, I don't know what you're talking about! Besides, don't you have powers? Can't you do something about it?"
"Not in a fanfic! Not in normal literature! The format matters. I can manipulate comic panels, not THIS SHITSHOW."
"Uh, guys? I think the Feds are here." Popcorn piped up.
"Hands up!" A man yelled. They all slowly put their hands up.
--
Deadpool made it in. He found a cat named Goose in a cage. He picked it up and continued running through the halls.
He ran into Spiderman. Literally. They both shouted.
"Glad to see you're alive! Do you know where Gwen's squad went?"
"Yeah, I saw them getting arrested just before making it in. And look! I found a cat!" Wade proudly held the cat up to Peter. Voices shouted from behind them.
"WADE! WE NEED TO GET THEM!"
Oh. Right.
"So, any ideas?"
"Stop!" A voice called out behind Deadpool.
The duo ran through the halls, left and right, trying to lose the gaurds. Spidetman opened a door they found, a supply closet. Spiderman opened the cage, and sat the cat on Wade's lap. Spiderman threw the cage down the hall.
"What the fuck was that for?" Deadpool furiously whispered.
"Distraction," Spiderman whispered back.
The guards immediately opened the supply closet. The cat hissed. Then, he opened his mouth. Wide.
Tentacles shot out from the cat's mouth, wrapping around the guard. He let out a shriek, cut short by Goose swallowing him whole.
Deadpool and Spiderman looked at the cat, eyes wide.
"I like you," Deadpool declared, firmly.
--
The other five were in a metal truck.
"Do you have any way out?" Smokey asked.
"No. We're gonna be tried for treason." Supes commented.
"If only the others could get us out of here." V added.
"Wait. That's it."
"What do you mean, that's it?"
"I can get out of here. You wrote something just now of Spidey and Deadpool back at Area 51. I can go there now, let them know where we are, which is in a metal truck, headed to... damn. Don't know definitively, but it's a shot. Just give me a moment..." Gwen pushed on something, and floated up into the ceiling.
"Well, this just got worse," Smokey commented.
--
"Hey guys!"
Wade screamed.
"Woah, Gwen, how'd you get here?" Spidey sounded shocked.
"The writer mentioned you in Area 51, so I could come over to visit, through some medium manipulation. "
"Great job, Pinky. Now, where's everyone else? And do you know what the fuck is going on with this cat?" Wade held out Goose.
"No idea. The writer didn't bother informing the audience of their exact location, and two, the cat is a flergen. Now, let me think." Gwen started pacing around the supply closet, muttering to herself.
"Hmmmm.... wait a minute.... I got it!" Gwen shrieked and snapped her fingers. "Ma- DD, gave you a buisness card for himself. Give it to me, and I'll bring it to them, and they'll be able to call him to lawyer them out." Gwen held out her hand. "Gimme." Reluctantly, Spiderman handed it over. "Thanks, Webhead!" Gwen pushed upwards again. Then, she was gone.
--
Thud!
Gwen fell back into the truck, then grabbed for something.
"Soooooo, what's the plan?" Popcorn asked.
"Sit tight and get Matt Murdock to lawyer us out. He's a crack lawyer, and considering this is fanfic, I imagine he'll be great at it."
"M'Kay." Popcorn said, rolling her eyes.
--
Matt Murdock was a bit busy at the moment. He was busy saran wrapping Wade's pillows. Foggy was trying to cram a rubber duck into a shampoo bottle. Well, Wade's shampoo. Foggy didn't get why the guy had it (Wade was bald) but he figured he'd ask no questions. Just prank.
Matt's phone rang. An unknown number. He picked up.
"Hello! This is Matthew Murdock. Who is this?"
"Hello, this is Gwen Poole, friend of Spiderman, in need of legal counsel. Would you be able to help?"
"Where are you? Is Spiderman or Deadpool with you?"
"No. I'm with four other civilians. We are in New Mexico."
"Shit. I can't exactly make it over there."
"Shit."
Foggy yelped in surprise, then cheered. "Got it in!"
Gwen thought for a bit. "What if we book an airline for you to get here."
Matt thought about it. "That could work."
--
The next morning, Foggy drove Matt to the airport, grumbling the whole way.
"They're idiots, Matt, you shouldn't have to save them." Matt began staring (as best he could) at his hands.
"Its a Catholic guilt thing, isn't it?" Foggy sighed. "Fine, go be a lawyer hero while I singlehandedly keep the firm running. It's a good thing I'm the brains of Nelson and Murdock, while you're the beauty."
"I'm not the brawn of Nelson and Murdock?"
"No, that's Karen." Matt cracked a smile.
Foggy pulled up to the curb. "Keep me posted. Let me know when you're coming back and how it goes."
"I will." Matt got out of the car, and grabbed his suitcase.
He waved as Foggy drove away. Deep breaths, Murdock. You can navigate an airport and plane, he thought. Matt entered the airport.
--
A few hours later, Matt landed in New Mexico, where he couldn't get off the plane fast enough, then took a taxi to where they were being held.
He raised hell. He got everyone (except for Gwen) released that night. New Mexico state troopers had never seen the fury of a Matt Murdock scorned.
Apparently, since everyone was in the middle of the desert, and needed supplies, the threat of death by dehydration was enough to get them all off. Gwen, however, was stuck back in prison, because she was armed, and various other crimes due to being the leader of MODOK. As far as anyone could follow.
Everyone then boarded a plane back to New York.
"Did this just happen?" V asked. "This feels crazy.
"It it really is," Smokey agreed.
Something in the overhead compartment shifted. The stewardess opened it, and Gwen jumped out.
"Thank you!" She said to the stewardess. "Man, that was cramped. Good to be out in the light of day!"
--
Wade Wilson was looking forward to a relaxing night at home, after the craziness of the past few days. He had Goose tucked in his one arm. He opened his apartment. Little rubber ducks were everywhere. Over the counters, on the bookshelves. He opened the fridge. There was a rubber duck.
Goose meowed, then tentacled the duck.
"That's cannibalism, Goose." Wade put down Goose, then went to nap. His cheek hit saran wrap.
"Fuck you, Murdock!" Wade yelled.
Thanks for reading! I tried to have Gwen's powers make sense, but it's...difficult.
#area 51#matt murdock#wade wilson#peter parker#daredevil#deadpool#spiderman#team red#fanfiction#fanfic#original content#and some character inserts#hope i didnt ruin anyone's character#oh yeah#gwenpool#gwen poole
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((Hello guys, I have some hot fuckin’ tea, and it’s about Yamcha. Come join the tea party and take a sip, babes.
Alright, so for context, there was conversation on @dragon-ball-meta [sorry if you think it’s weird to be tagged in a random rp blog’s post I will delete it from the post if you want me to-] about the potential of a pairing between Android Eighteen and Yamcha, the majority agreeing that the pairing really didn’t make a lot of sense. No big deal, right?
Then comes one user, I will not name them because I don’t want to turn this into a witch hunt, who basically argued “IT DOESN’T WORK BECAUSE YAMCHA IS SEXIST TRASH”
And it. Really annoyed me, you know? Especially since there seems to be this trend of shitting on Yamcha for dumb or made up reasons.
And if you know me, you know that I can’t stand people shitting on him and Krillin.
Now, Dragon Ball Meta has done a good job in rebutting against their arguments, but I wish to make a response of my own, since this character assassination has been going on for years, and I think it’s time to stop.
Fuck your memes, the only valid Yamcha meme anymore is Yamcha juggling turtle shells.
Now before I start, I’d like to preface a few things.
First, no, I do not ship Eighteen and Yamcha. Not only because of the context that Dragon Ball Meta has pointed out, but because their general characters would really make the ship make no sense. Yamcha’s fear of girls would really not mesh well with Eighteen’s ‘spit it out’ kinda attitude. Not to mention, as much as I like Bulcha, Bulma is proof that bossy women just aren’t the best match for Yamcha. He’s too passive to make the relationship work. Yamcha is so afraid of getting dumped that he just nervously accepts that she’s right, and sometimes your partner needs to be told that they’re wrong. And while Eighteen is quieter, she’s kinda bossy too. So no, I don’t see this ship working, with or without Krillin.
Second, just so there’s no mistake, no, this is not me arguing against Dragon Ball Meta. I might elaborate, or even correct him on a few things on the subject, but in general, I agree with his assessment of Yamcha’s character. This is a response to one of the users that reblogged his post. Please do not think for a second I’m trying to start beef or anything.
Also, the person will not be name dropped because one, again, no witch hunt, and two, this is unfortunately an opinion of Yamcha that the majority of the fanbase seems to hold. So I will be arguing them all to fuck.
And if you find out who it is by going to DBM’s blog, do not, I repeat, do not harass them. If you do, I will block you. No exceptions! I don’t care if you’re following me, I don’t care if you like my writing and my characterization, I don’t even care if we’re mutuals. If you harass someone over works of fiction, you’re fucking dead to me.
Third, I know that being a Yamcha roleplayer might make me biased, but believe me, in order to write for this character, I had to do a fuck ton of research, especially since I’m actually relatively new to the series [I fuckin started binge watching it last year from Dragon Ball to Dragon Ball Super, still debating on watching GT], reading up on anything that I missed so that I can stay as true to his character as possible.
That being said, the research I’ve done on this series and this character is why I think the notion of Yamcha being sexist, a cheater, etc. is erroneous.
Now, Let’s begin.
You really don’t bring up a lot of points, your main ones being one, he sees girls as objects and not people, and two, he cheated on Bulma [ah that classic misconception among fans], So I will shoot them down one at a time.
One; You claim that Yamcha is sexist, that he sees girls as objects and things to be exploited.
... When?
No, I mean it, give me one fucking example. You made the claim, the burden of proof is on you, as the one making the argument. I’ll even provide links that let you view the mangas and animes for free so you can point me to one manga panel, one episode with the time that it happens. Give me one example, and I might, might, take that claim seriously.
You also say that he feels justified in his fear and distrust of women, so he’s sexist.
Uhm....? No??? You’re right that he’s afraid of women, but distrustful??? The fuck did that come from?
Oh, but you might zone in on the fear and be like, “That’s proof enough that he’s sexist!”
Uuuuuhhhhh no.
See, fear can mean different things depending on what it’s bred by. With things such as homophobia, transphobia, and, yes, sexism, those are fears bred by hate.
In Yamcha’s case, it’s clear that that’s not his case of fear. Not only does he express his want to get over his fear so he can talk to a girl without freezing up or being a blabbering mess, hence his motivation for trying to steal the Dragon Balls from Goku and the others, but the other characters’ outright point out that he’s shy. On numerous occasions. Usually by Bulma, but still.
Not to mention that usually his reactions to being around a girl or being flirted with by one, it’s usually very anxious, leaving me to believe that he’s got some sort of social anxiety going on.
If you need proof, look no further than episode six of Dragon Ball “Keep an Eye on the Dragon Balls”, where it shows various instances of Yamcha going into panic attacks over Bulma, even going into an outright catatonic state when he realizes he accidentally grabbed Bulma’s boob. [which also discredits the notion of Yamcha seeing girls like objects, as he’s constantly horrified of seeing and touching a naked girl. If he saw girls as objects, he would have been creeping on her all to hell.]
The only reason he got over his fear with Bulma is because her safety was in jeopardy, and he had to put his fear aside to protect her. Once again, this discredits the idea of him seeing women as beneath him, as well as your other point, which I will get to in a while.
“But why is he only like that with girls?” you might ask. Well, not only is there several real life examples of boys being too shy around girls and feeling more at home with talking to boys, Yamcha has expressed wanting to get married one day. And as someone with social anxiety myself, I do find it very hard to approach people IRL because I’m afraid of being judged, if it makes sense. So it’s very easy to argue that the same could apply to Yamcha, just with girls his age.
Two; Your argument is that he cheated on Bulma and that in general, any ship with him would be abusive.
Uhm??? The only source for the cheating issue was Trunks, who got it from his mother... Who’s known to misunderstand situations Yamcha finds himself in as him cheating. Who’s known to get jealous if a girl shows interest in him, not him showing interest in the girl, but the girl showing interest in him.
Not to mention, does this look like someone that’s willing to cheat?
Because to me this looks more like someone that takes his relationship with Bulma seriously and wants to take it further. And remember, the only prompting was Goku telling Bulma to “take care of the baby” with no context.
Oh, also here’s the link to the manga page so you know I’m not bullshitting.
Oh, what’s that? You’re going to bring up the episode in Dragon Ball Z where it shows him as a baseball player? Where not only were they broken up at the time when he asked someone to go on a date with him and was talking with another girl, but the entire episode was also filler? Once again, think back to his shyness. Even Toriyama confirmed that it’s always going to be there.
“Oh but then you’ll have to say all the fun stuff like Chichi making Goku learn to drive and Yamcha, Tien, and Chiaotzu kicking the Ginyu Force’s ass.” you may say.
I mean. Yeah. It’s not canon. But unless it’s deconfirmed by Toriyama himself or doesn’t contradict established characterization, then we can still imagine that they happened. Most of the filler are things happening during timeskips anyways, or just don’t happen during the main story, so it’s really up to the imagination what all happened, and Toei did just that.
You also claim that Yamcha behaves like a fuckboi, to which I have to say bitch where?
Yeah, he was a bit annoyed that Bulma had Vegeta’s child, but that was never, I repeat, never directed at Bulma, or Trunks for that matter. In fact, by the looks of it, he was helping Bulma take care of him. It’s quite clearly directed at Vegeta.
Why?
Simply put, Yamcha’s ultimate goal was to settle down and start a family. And not only does Vegeta do that, with his ex no less, but he also just... Completely ignores them.
Can you imagine how infuriating that is, not even flaunting something they have that you don’t, but completely ignoring it like it’s nothing.
Vegeta had started this family, the family that could have been Yamcha’s, and he wasn’t even willing to take responsibility for it.
Now I’m not trying to imply that Yamcha was owed anything or that Bulma owed anyone anything. Hell, I don’t think Yamcha thought that either. I’m just trying to illustrate his mindset.
And you know what? After the Cell Games Saga, he stopped being cross with Vegeta. He’s still friendly with Bulma and Trunks, and he’s even friendly with Vegeta. Hell, when Bulla was born, he was excited to meet her.
Pretty sure if he were a fuckboy, he’d be trying to win Bulma back.
But no, he’s content with being friends with Bulma and her family. Because, at least I think, he cares about what she wants and what makes her happy. I think so long as she’s happy with what she has, then he’s happy too.
Does that sound like a fuckboy to you?
“Well then why did they break up? Are you saying Bulma did something wrong?”
No.
Just like in real life, sometimes break ups don’t happen because one slighted the other.
Sometimes things just don’t work out.
Think about it, throughout the series, up until the Android Arc, their relationship has been on and off, usually Bulma accusing him of cheating. And like I pointed out earlier in the post, Yamcha is just too passive to make the relationship work. If he were more assertive and willing to stand his ground and assure her that no, he’s not cheating, then maybe it would have had a better chance of working.
I think at this point, the healthiest thing for them was that they stopped being in this relationship. For good.
And if their break up was really the result of one of them wronging each other, they would not still be friends.
So, can we end this character assassination? It’s been going on for yeas, and it needs to stop. Same with Krillin’s character assassination.
The memes may have been funny once upon a time, but they’re getting old now. And people are starting to view them as canon.
And that’s it for my tea. If you have something you wish to add or to correct me on, please be sure to share your thoughts. I’d love to know. ^^
Sorry that this is so long and probably all over the place holy fuck-))
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I started to watch ringsy ’from the beginning’ and realised that I had totally deleted Valentin from my memory because Ringo and Valentin sl was so weird. What do you think was the point of that storyline? It didn’t do any favours to any of the characters involved and at some point was quite uncomfortable to watch for various reasons. Why was Ringo so attracted to him because I don’t think they would have worked even if Valentin liked men.
Yeah, this is not a good period for Ringo. But at the same time it’s kinda the best once.
Come with me as I try to make sense of the mess...
Ringo isn’t exactly the most lovable and likeable character at this point in time. He is tolerated at best and he basically seems to bounce from one annoyance to another as far as every else is concerned. Long term that doesn’t work for a character, we need a Redemption Arc™ and for Ringo his feelings for Valentin were the start of that.
No matter how problematic a character is there’s something heartbreaking about them falling for someone they can never have. Maybe it’s because they’re with someone else. Maybe it’s because they’re ridiculously out of their league. Maybe it’s because they don’t look at you that way.
Ringo fell for the ultimate Straight Guy™ and there was never going to be any chance of anything. When Valentin found out Ringo was bi he was pretty freaked out about it and made a huge deal about not being into Ringo. Ah, veiled homophobia. Like he would 100% have a foursome (which was more of a two-twosome) but no touchy of the boy parts.
And Ringo seemed to be really into Valentin. Like, really.
So we start to feel for him. He may be a shit and he may be mainland Europe’s biggest disaster bisexual but no one deserves the pain of liking someone who won’t ever like you back.
Which gets even worse because Easy ‘outs’ Ringo to Valentin about his feelings. You know you done fucked up when known non-Ringo apologiser Tobias is siding with his asshole half-brother. Another tick in the “feel sorry for Ringo” column.
It softened our view on Ringo. Turns out there is a heart there after all, and it’s not 100% in stone.
Valentin was a crush, misguided and naïve to ever think he could work his way into a chance. But given that his feelings for Easy were in the pipeline we needed an appetiser. A chance to see that Ringo could actually really care about and want to be with someone, not for a bet or for the challenge or because there were there, warm blooded, and up for it. We needed an example of Ringo wanting someone so that when he started to want Easy we could buy it.
I think it did do Ringo a favour and it set up the longer term pairing option that they were exploring. (I don’t think anyone expected the enemies to lovers storyline to explode the way that it did. I mean, whoever put money on an Irish-Brit gal in her 30s writing meta on characters in a foreign language soap must have gotten some great odds on the writer’s room sweepstake.) Valentin is hot, smart, funny, and a challenge for Ringo. Why wouldn’t he want?
If anything had happened it’d have fizzled out. Lots of sex and pretty much nothing else of substance. But it couldn’t happen. We needed to develop sympathy for Ringo, we needed to see him wronged and suffering unfairly. We needed to know that he is capable of real human reactions and feelings because otherwise when he starts playing Easy and developing feelings we’d be calling bullshit. Ringo isn’t capable of real feelings.
Valentin proved that he is.
#ringsy#unter uns#ringo beckmann#easy winter#valentin huber#overthinking jen is overthinking#Anonymous
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Tim’s Secret Weapon pt. 12
I’ve been slightly obsessed with @ozmav ‘s Damian Wayne/Marinette Dupain-Cheng pairing as of late, and just saw a post that has inspired me more than anything else has in months, so I felt the need to write it
Summary- Tim has always seen the numbers floating above people’s heads, been able to perceive their threat levels with a single glance. After being a hero for so long he thought he was desensitized to seeing high numbers above people’s heads until Damian brings a new friend home.
Part 1
Part 11
Part 12(HERE)
Part 13
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Jason had started cackling as soon as Tim explained why he was cross, pulling the ring from his hand and tossing it back to its proper owner. Damian Bruce and Alfred were intrigued by the prospect by the fact Jason was predestined to be a miraculous wielder. Dick, on the other hand, was pouting at Jason being ‘officially more of a cat than him.’
“You’re not a black cat,” Tim snapped, using the door frame to stay upright, glaring at the stark white number over Jason’s head, “He may claim he’s all about destruction but it’s who he was made into not who he is at his core.”
“What?” Jason huffed, “You’re the one that said my number went up to 15! I’m a cat now, I’m leaving the birds to join Selina.”
“No,” He nearly growled in frustration, staggering over to the couch, “Adrian is the real cat here. At his core, he’s sweet and kind and trustworthy, but he also has chaos at his center. He can destroy a person he believes deserves it without a second thought, tarnish a reputation permanently with no remorse if he believed it was the best course of action, manipulate a person into behaving how he wants with precision and grace without anyone realizing that the ray of sunshine would be able to do so. He’s literally destruction. You aren’t like that Jason, not at your core. You’re a true holder, but you aren’t a Black Cat.”
The room was silent as he finally finished and he couldn’t help, but look around at their stunned faces with confusion. Even the Kwamis had frozen from where they had been whispering on the side table, glancing between each other and Tim.
“What?” He snapped, too tired to deal with anything else tonight.
“You’ve only just met Adrian,” Kim drew out, “And just spouted off stuff I never knew about the sunshine boy with such confidence I’m pretty sure you’re not lying.”
“What do you mean? Of course, I know that stuff, can’t you guys tell it too? That’s just what I can tell from observing if I really wanted to know anything important about him I’d have to do research,” He explained with a groan as he leaned against Dick’s shoulder.
Dick just looked down at him in amazement, “No Timmy, most people can’t tell that kind of stuff just from spending a few hours with someone.”
“Huh? You guys never acted like I was crazy before,” He pointed out looking at his brothers.
“I always assumed you researched our targets before we needed the information,” Bruce hummed, “We had meant to ask you how you knew some of the skills you had listed when you had never met the heroes before making the entries in your journal.”
“I mean I did look up some stuff, but isn’t most of that stuff common knowledge?”
Jason snorted, “I didn’t know Bruce spoke Portuguese before reading his journal entry, replacement. I can say with confidence that there’s no video footage of B or Bats speaking or reading Portuguese anywhere or any reason you should know that before I even kicked the bucket.”
“I…” Tim tried to think back, to why he knew this information, where he had put together the man had known so many languages.
“Tim,” Marinette piped up, “What languages does everyone in here speak?”
“French and English.”
His deadpan earned an eye roll from her, “No, I meant past that. Start with your family and then my team, tell me all the languages. Go.”
He was skeptical of what she was trying to do but decided not to question it, “All the bat speak Mandarin, Spanish, Arabic, and BSL. Bruce knows Romanian, Portuguese, Dutch, Cantonese, and Greek. Alfred speaks German, Italian, Japanese, Russian, and Polish. Dick speaks Romani, Romanian, Dutch, and Russian. Jason has Portuguese, Japanese, Korean, Cantonese, and Russian. I can do Japanese, Romanian, German and Polish.
Damian knows Japanese, Korean, Cantonese, and is just short of fluent in Romanian.”
His eyes turned to the Parisian teens, ignoring the surprise at their extensive list of languages, “ Adrian knows Mardiran and Japanese. Chloe knows Japanese. Kim is fluent in Vietnamese and is nearing passable in German. Max knows Korean and Safan. Alix knows Ancient Egyptian and Arabic. Kagami knows Japanese and Mandarin. Viperion knew quite a bit of Italian but wasn’t quite fluent. Marinette knows Italian, is nearly fluent in Arabic and… actually, I’m not sure what the last one is, but it’s ancient, something close to Sino-Tibetan I think?”
Eyes flashed around the room, before settling on Tim.
“Seriously?” Tim groaned, “None of you knew that?”
Jason's eyes flashed to Damien, “Since when do you speak Romanian?”
He scowled, the tips of his ears burning, “It was going to be a surprise for Grayson, I was hoping to be fluent by his birthday…”
Marinette broke in before any of the brothers could make a comment, “Tim, Damien only practiced Romanian when he knew everyone was out of the house. Nor should you know about the Guardian Language.”
“Guardian Language?” He whispered, head too fuzzy for him to process more than that.
She winced a little, “When the role of Guardian was handed over to me, the language of the Guardians was basically downloaded into my head. It allows me to read the Guardian Grimoire and perform the spells within it to heal kwamis, fixing broken miraculous or create potions to allow them different abilities they don’t usually possess. Usually, there’s a lot of training to be able to deal with the new knowledge being shoved into their heads but my gaining of the guardianship was more than a little unorthodox so I had to deal with migraines for about six months after. I had to decode the secrets for myself even with knowing the language.”
“I don’t even know what the Guardian is,” Tim whispered as the truth set it, “I really shouldn’t know this stuff about you guys…”
“Another aspect of your power, no doubt,” Alfred cut in, “Hardly the worst thing in the world for a detective to have intuition-based knowledge of the people he’s looking up, hmm?”
Tim laughed, “Thanks, Alfred.”
The butler merely nodded, “However, I am fairly certain Master Tim hasn’t been truthful about how much sleep he’s gotten this week and a miraculous drain is dangerous even when well-rested, I suggest suspending this discussion until a proper hour?”
Damien gave him an innocuous look, “ You tried to lie to Pennyworth? Are you completely braindead.”
“Panicking over my secret being out means lots of comfort coffee,” He groaned back as he attempted to bury himself in Dick’s side.
“Go to sleep Replacement,” Jason huffed, as Dick pulled the other man to his feet. Zombie Tim's duty was something they all had plenty of experience in. It wasn’t long before he was stripped of his costume and sweatpants and an oversized tee pulled on over his bike shorts.
Tim barely registered the lights being turned off as he was bundled into bed, half asleep already.
When Tim arose the next morning he was surprised to see it was only 8 am, seven hours after when he remembered his brother’s getting him to bed. Typically, after the kind of crash, he felt last night he needed a solid thirteen hours of sleep and two cups of coffee to feel this alive again. His answer came from the tiny horse resting on the nightstand.
“Kaalki? What are you doing here?”
“Kwami healing,” She offered in an attempt to be nonchalant as she floated up in front of him, “ Tikki is best at it but every Kwami, barring Plagg, can offer some form of rejuvenation to those who need it. My way of healing is to replenish the energy that has been lost in a timely manner. It was the least I could do after causing you so much distress last night.”
Tim frowned and offered a flat hand for her to land on, “Don’t do that, there’s no blame on you or Marinette or anyone else. Accidents happen, and it’s not like there’s an instruction book on miraculous and metas.”
She fidgeted, “I believe you are correct but I still felt bad for causing such harm to befall you.”
Tim just shook his head, “Either way, thank you. I feel amazing right now.”
She smiled, “Perhaps if you hurry you can join your family for breakfast, I heard they were setting out to leave soon.”
He quickly pulled on his clothes and did his morning routine in the ensuite before entering the main room where his family froze in place as they were pulling on coats and shoes.
“What the fuck are you doing up?” Jason hissed, ready to force him back into bed.
“Kwami magic has its perks,” Tim defended, hands raised in surrender as Kaalki floated next to him, “I feel more awake then I have in years.”
Alfred grinned, “Ah yes, I remember how Duusu would help us relax after battles. Well come along then,
Marinette squinted at him judgingly, trying to figure out how he was allowed out by his family before Kaalki darted from his jacket over to Max’s. Instead, she just huffs and begins leading the entire group of heroes towards her parents’ bakery, Damien quickly falling in step to her left, glaring at Adrian who had fallen into step on her right.
“SO, replacement,” Jason drawled, dropping an arm around the short brother’s shoulders, “I didn’t get to ask last night cause you looked more zombie then me, but if I’m not a cat, what am I?”
“I don’t even know where to start with miraculous,” Tim huffed, pushing the older man away, “Where would I even start with which miraculous to give to you?”
“Well, how about we give you a starting point,” Adrian asked, turning to walk backwards so he could look at them with a twinkling smile, “Miraculous are broken into two categories, indirect and direct. Direct miraculous powers affect the target of the power directly like the Bee’s venom freezing someone, while the Indirect affect the world around the target, like the Horse’s teleportation. The Black Cat and Ladybug fall outside of the groupings as they’re both direct and indirect. Indirect users can’t use Direct miraculous effectively and can even have adverse effects of transforming too long and vice versa. So does Jason feel like a direct or indirect holder.”
“Indirect,” Tim started, finding the words just started flowing as he stared at the 11 swirling about over his brother’s head, “Jason’s cocky and more stubborn than the Blue Boyscout if you get him going, but he’s also loyal to a fault and filled with so much determination I’m not sure whether to be scared or impressed. No matter how angry he is at someone, or how much he thinks they deserve the consequences of their actions he will be there to protect them by any means necessary. He may talk tough and act stupid but he’s unbelievably wise with instincts unparalleled by normal humans when it comes to trust and how to get out of sticky situations. He can and will kill, but only if it’s the only option left to make it out of a situation alive.”
Jason scowled and pulled on the end of his jacket sleeve as he looked away, “Geez, rip me open why don’t you?”
“Hey, you asked,”
Marinette stared at him with a cryptic eye, “No, he’s right I can see it. I think I know what miraculous to give you.”
Tim’s attention fell away from the conversation as Jason tried to pry the newly found information from the young Guardian. Because that was the least of his worries.
Not when his eyes landed on vibrant blue hair, strikingly familiar, attached to a man sitting on the wall around the Seine, strumming his guitar absentmindedly.
“Found you,” Tim said, causing the man in front of him to smile up at him.
“That was quick,” He laughed, the thick gothic steel-colored 13 made his blue eyes take on a silver hue.
“It’s easy to spot such a high number when most don’t reach past six,” He shrugged.
“You and I aren’t very different, you know?” Steely grey 13 offered, looking back to his guitar.
“I think the masks gave that away,” Tim mussed, “I’m Tim.”
“Luka, Luka Couffaine,” Steely Grey 13, Viperion, Luka offered easily, “And I meant past the masks.”
“How do you mean then, Luka?”
The younger man looked up at him and waved a hand at the chair across from him, “How about you take a seat, Uccellino, and we can compare notes on what it’s like to be meta.”
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Princess Tutu episodes 14-end
I watched the entire second half of the series in one day because I make good life choices
Previously on Princess Tutu Watch:
Okay I can get back to Tokyo Mew Mew now
+++++++++++++++++++
It was a lie, I could NOT
EPISODE, UH, FUCK……… 14! - The Raven
asdklsdhflhdl (google docs stop capitalizing my keysmashes) they’re bringing back “once upon a time there was a man who died”!!!!!! Honestly that might be one of my favorite lines in this whole show
Gotta love the sarcasm in “and they lived happily ever after”
The theme song…… it’s so good
Oh nooooooooooooooo
This scene is literally just the “I’ve got a headache that comes and goes” meme
Fakir you complete dork. You’re all dorks
“Princess Tutu and a crocodile are totally different” you tell ‘im, Mytho
Duck speaks so much more regularly than the other main characters? I mean, there’s Fakir over there like “Shall we go?” and Duck saying things like “I’m gonna be late!” and using “like” and “stuff”... I mean, I know this is the dub, but
Duck why are you using Fakir’s dumb excuses omg
Lilie is just the personification of my negative thoughts
BUT WHAT DID MYTHO TELL FAKIR
Awwwwwwww Duck, no
They’re in a terrifying Raven Dimension with like, ominous music and people wailing in the background and meanwhile Kraehe and the Raven are just having like, a normal conversation
Also, are the white feathers supposed to be like, what’s trapping the Raven there?
Duck please
Wait, Princess Tutu transformed on her own!
Episode 15 - Coppelia
Also, watching Fakir try and fail to stop Mytho from jumping out the window is Pain
Lilie you are a Strange Child
STEALTH DUCK RETURNS!
Oh no?? Fakir doesn’t want to get Mytho in trouble???
alsdfksfh the entire student population is Here For The Drama
Duck don’t yell in the library
Fakir just doesn’t make good decisions
Oooh that doesn’t look good
Sad Kraehe Theme Alert
You “just happened” to do a lot of things, Lilie
Omg Lilie “Want to just happen to go see?”
Rue just shows up to trash talk Fakir for a minute and then leaves
I say as if I’m not in So Much Pain
Yeah! Every single time Princess Tutu transformed in the first season, it was because Drosselmeyer said something, but now she’s transforming on her own!
Oh no Mytho
Also I like how Tutu doesn’t just flat-out say “you don’t actually love him” and instead is just like “how about you try doing things you enjoy with the guy you like instead of giving him Your Actual Heart”
Episode 16 - The Maiden’s Prayer
Wait is Angry Narrator back or did the other narrator just regain the heart shard of Withering Scorn?
Lilie isn’t even interested in the love triangle, she just wants Duck and Pike to fight
Is that Goatette
“So pretty…. What? Oh yeah I meant the flowers of course haha” Duck
Such a serious child
“Love only me, hate everyone else”/“The prince who loves me and me alone”
This child is amazing
It was such a good decision to give Fakir a little sister. A good decision for everyone involved
aslfsdjhklgdlghdjghfdklkdkalh Kraehe told him that Duck would suffer if she knew what was happening with Mytho so Fakir isn’t going to tell herrrrrrrrrr Fakir please don’t internalize that!! You are breaking my heart sir
Oh my god it wasn’t Goatette it was the sloth
*The Can Can plays loudly over a sloth just kinda hangin out*
Episode 17 - Crime and Punishment
This may or may not have been the last episode I watched the first time I watched this show?
“Eyes of truth” huh?
This dumbass child
Femio, from the other side of the school grounds: “DID SOMEBODY SAY ‘PRINCE’????”
What the Fuck are you doing with your hands, kid
Why are you a cow
Honestly as over-the-top as Femio is he is also simultaneously the most realistic middle-schooler in this entire show
Oh my god he’s on probation
I’m sorry I’m just talking about Femio but he’s hilarious
Truly a Grade A Idiot
What is he even doing with his life
I’ve become Lilie
These characters have emotional crises over people saying the stupidest things and tbh I relate to that
Oh dear!
The thing is, Femio would be really annoying in real life, but in a tv show he’s just amusing
Rue’s FACE, she’s so done
I like how Duck can tell which building Rue’s in just by the amount of crows around it
Tbh all the students probably have noticed what’s going on, they just think it’s some kind of weird performance art thing. Wouldn’t be out of character for this school
Fakir and Uzura really are siblings, I love this
The best part about this episode is it’s this completely ridiculous person unintentionally getting in the middle of everybody’s emotional issues
“I feel kinda like something happened, and kinda like it didn’t” Duck you are absolutely correct
And of course the Aquarium is good once again
Episode 18 - The Wandering Knight
Incidentally, how old are these kiddos? We know Mytho is older than Duck, so Fakir and Rue probably are too?? But like, probably only by a year? Who even knows what their actual ages are
I mean, Duck is a duck so
It’s! The trees from the opening!
I don’t know if I’ve asked this before, but why does Fakir have a horse?
Oh my god Lilie
Can everybody STOP picking on Fakir for being afraid to die? He is 14, leave him alone
Ahiru is trying so hard to be helpful, give her a chance Fakir
Once again Rue shows up to get in a burn on Fakir and then leave
I swear every time the Aquarium plays in this show
Oh noooooooo Ruuuuueeeeeeee
Literally Protect All Of These Characters
Save These Children From Their Own Emotional Issues
FAKIR PLEASE
Pride is absolutely the worst feeling Mytho could get back right now?
“There’s something sinister going on that I’m not a part of!” And that really gets to you doesn’t it Dross. I bet it’s really… grinding your gears!!!
(why do I feel so proud of insulting a fictional character)
Episode 19 - A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Wow we really are starting this one off on a sinister note (it’s Drosselmeyer’s revenge on me for that pun)
Of course he can’t tell you, he doesn’t fuckin know what’s going on
Fakir please stop basing your entire identity around being a knight
Oh no, Mytho’s regained the heart shard of Basing Your Entire Identity Around Upholding A Role
I wonder if Hermia being tall is like, a meta Shakespeare joke, cause in the play Helena’s really tall and Hermia’s really short, but in every production I’ve seen it was the other way around
Rue stop projecting your insecurities onto your boyfriend
Ohhhhhhhh dear
Finally someone tells all the crows hanging around to shut up
Oh my god she really is super tall
Or Ahiru’s just super short
I am learning so much about ballet mimes
Cool bird shadows
Whoa, different raven background. And the Raven isn’t speaking with him this time? What does it mean
On no, Tutu
Hahaha oh no
Aaahaha they’re the same
THEY EVEN DO THE SAME ARM-FLAILY THING
Episode 20 - The Forgotten Story
ALRIGHT, TIME FOR THE FAKIR’S SAD BACKSTORY EPISODE
Raetzel: *walks in*
Uzura: And where do you fit in the shipping chart, ma’am
THIS is a High Quality Directatorial Decision
Oh no Duck. oh no she’s so earnest nooooo
It is just Extremely Wrong to see Mytho dancing to something besides Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
Mr. Cat can hear the word “wedding” from three floors up
Oh my GOD they put broken heart stickers on the window
I mean, I say they but we all know it was Lilie
Again, Duck knows exactly where shit’s going down just because that’s where all the crows are
Oh no!
Everybody needs to stop giving Fakir shit Right Now. Everybody needs to stop thinking it’s a bad thing that Fakir didn’t fucking Die, and that includes Fakir OKAY????
I’ve been thinking… Raven Mytho keeps saying things like “people only want love because they want to be loved” and I wonder… if that was sort of his experience as a prince. Or maybe I’m just getting this mixed up with Utena lol. But it does seem like a genuine issue he has as opposed to just something he says to manipulate people. Hm.
Episode 21 - The Spinners
Every time the narrator says “once upon a time there was a man who died” I Will Flip
Duck tries to lean nonchalantly against a door, it goes about how you’d expect
Duck that’s not how writing works (ughgfjdghskjkgf my pain)
AW NO
Oh no Duck is too relatable
UUAAAAAA TREE GHOST TREE GHOST
“Follow my every order and be prepared to die if you should fail” it’s almost like you WANT me to hate you. FAKIR DOESN’T NEED THIS
See Duck agrees with me
PETITION FOR PEOPLE TO LEAVE FAKIR THE FUCK ALONE THAT MEANS YOU TREE GHOST
Ohshit it’s that old guy from the bookshop???
Uzura is NOT “unrelated”, obviously she is Fakir’s baby sister
“I’m just watching again” oh no Duck
Autor what the Fresh Heck are you doing to Fakir
YOU ARE NOT FINE?????????
Honestly Fakir needs to get in touch with his emotions, not get sleep deprived and hallucinate in a field
This tree is saying things Edel said??? Was Edel made from the wood of this tree?????? Oh my god???????????
Anyway that was Intense
Listen, Raven Mytho has real issues and you can fight me on this
Ah, I see Dross is practicing the time-honored authorial tradition of “If the Story Isn’t Working, Hit It With a Wrench”
Episode 22 - Crown of Stone
But who’s going to protect Fakir huh? Answer me that, Duck
One big-ish happy familyyyyyyyyy
I needed this life advice tbh
Aaaaaah Uzura’s talking to Rue!
“Are you the Rue we’re worried about?” I love how she just included herself in that
Autor, I’m……. not sure you want the tree ghost cult to acknowledge you
Uhm, I’m pretty sure Autor doesn’t fit into the shipping chart and I think Uzura would agree with me
Ah fuck!!! Fakir turn around
Wait it’s an owl on a grandfather clock?? Is that actually a thing? These watchnotes are coming full circle
“I want people to love me, but is it okay to just be loved?” yep, the prince is having issues
Autor, I’m pretty sure Ahiru is figuring all that out right now
And like, the Book Men totally know it too, so
HOLY CRAP THIS SEQUENCE
AND THE MUSIC THE MUSIC IS PERFECT
SKLAFDJKVHFJK;JKLSdf;DSLKJFAKSDAKFJHFKLJJFGKLHGJFHSDLJ
I love this show
EPISODE 23 - Marionette
OH! OH! IT’S THE MUSIC EDEL ALWAYS PLAYED BUT SPED UP! That’s actually kinda creepy!
Anyway now I know why I’m so protective of Fakir, we’re both writers who can’t write anything
Oh noooooooooooo Rue
Oooooooooooh don’t like that
Ruuueeeeeeeeee please don’t stab your boyfriend we’ve been over this
Incidentally, hulu needs to quit it with these bogus commercial placements
Drosselmeyer: How dare you try to resolve your emotional problems!
Dross that’s called character development
Hahahaha joke’s on you Dross!
aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I! LOVE! THEM!
No of course your heart is lovey-dovey Uzura! Your heart is the lovey-dovey-est!!!
Incidentally, Autor is That Guy who says just because you haven’t finished/published anything you’re not a Real Writer. And he is Wrong
Episode 24 - The Prince and the Raven
Okay, just from this title I know I won’t be able to handle this
THIS ISN’T EVEN THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE
YOU ARE HITTING ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE I CANNOT BELIEVE
Okay but and then this story explains all of Raven Mytho’s emotional issues as well???
*sigh* Autor……. Fakir literally just told you his motivation is to protect people and you’re still going on about controlling the fates of all mankind… are you sure you’re not Drosselmeyer’s direct descendent?
Rue don’t go into the crow building
Honestly I’m still dying over the fact that you can tell where things are happening purely based on which building all the crows are at today
Tiny Rue is breaking my heart
UUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TINY RUE IS DOING BALLET
Omg Rue in the beginner’s class!
Oh noooo Uzura’s saaaaad
I KNOW I’ve heard this songgggggggg
THAT WAS A BIT OF THE FOSSILS FROM CARNIVAL OF THE ANIMALS???
Okayokayokay so it’s not Carnival of the Animals but DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS it’s another piece by Saint-Saens and DO YOU KNOW what that piece is called????? fuckin Danse Macabre!!!!! I am immediately filled with a sense of foreboding!!!
The music choices in this show are going to destroy me one day
HOLY CRAP????
I can’t believe so goddamn much happened in this episode???
Episode 25 - The Dying Swan
I’m not rrrrrrrrreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Not even the narrator’s obvious disappointment in Drosselmeyer can give me solace
Oh my god so is the Drosselmeyer we know just a character in Dead Drosselmeyer’s story?
I think it’s a testament to this story’s power that I’m having so many emotions about it even though I know what’s going to happen? Like, some stories, reading the summary is pretty much the same as hearing the story, but Princess Tutu is not one of those stories
Like I just overcame my social anxiety to ask my roommate to be quieter, that’s how good this story is
Aaaaaagh Rue’s change from saying “you love me” to saying “I love you” my HEART
Oh shoot! Mytho’s angry! I thought one of the gate heart shards might be anger
Oh my god Autor literally no one cares what TEA Drosselmeyer drank look at Fakir he’s so done
Aaaaaaaa ohno
EVISCERATE HIM FAKIR
Holyshitholyshitholyshit
Okay but see the lake is outside the city so Dross just took some random normal duck and plunked her down in his fairytale town and that’s why like, a cat teacher seems weird to her because she’s not from inside the story
OH NO THEY’RE PLAYING THE SWAN BUT THIS TIME IT’S RUE
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fuck OFFFFFF
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s the sword birds
excUSE you Dross, the knight has NOT “long been useless”
Episode 26 - Finale
I can’t believe after 9 years I’m finally going to finish watching this show
Okay it’s happening
It begins and ends with “once upon a time, there was a man who died”, the absolute most perfect first line in the history of first lines and you can fight me on this
Okay I’m already almost crying just from the theme song, like the Tchaikovsky fits perfectly into it? I’m gonna sing it
I’m just screaming???? They’re all in distress
BUT DUCK IS NOT GOING TO GIVE IN TO DISTRESS
RUE IS THE SWAN
DUCK DECIDES TO WRITE HER OWN STORY AND THE MUSIC FROM THE END OF THE THEME SONG STARTS PLAYING MY HEART
I’M ACTUALLY CRYING
IT’S ALL THE PEOPLE SHE HELPED
THEY ARE PLAYING THE THEME THAT PLAYS WHEN DUCK IS HAPPY
FUCKING -- AND YOU HIT ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED NOW
LOOK! LOOK THE SCENERY OUTSIDE THE TOWN FADES IN
I watched it.
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Some final commentary on Cosmic
which turned into yet another analysis of JDC, Tsukumojuku and Jorge Joestar because I have zero self-restraint. Half this post is searching for overarching themes and wacky theories, have fun with my ramblings I guess
[big spoilers for Cosmic and Tsukumojuku, not really for Jorge Joestar]
While I decided to finish Cosmic first, the recommended reading order is Cosmic (1st half) -> Joker -> Cosmic (2nd half). I guess this better ties both books together and helps avoid some Joker spoilers that are in Cosmic. The new edition even encourages it by labeling the tomes of Cosmic with Ryu and Sui, and Joker with Sei and Ryo. So you’re supposed to read “Seiryo in Ryusui” *rimshot* The cover art is also meant to be put together in that order (notice that the last cover also connects to the first though, and you can try putting the shorter edges together too):
On the book’s theme, and some meta:
I’m actually glad I’ve read Tsukumojuku before this, as it gave me a solid grip on the meta and the ridiculous detectiving. It made me LOVE the very ending, especially the “walking towards the end of the story with this tiny last moment lasting forever” part -- in hindsight of Tsukumojuku’s ending I almost cried at this point. The meaning’s a bit different, of course: Tsukumojuku has the triplets realize they should leave their daydream, and so it was both a sad and joyful ending, with them trying to stretch their last moments being ‘Tsukumojuku’. Cosmic has Juku and Yasha being a little apprehensive but determined to reach ‘the end of the story’, and at the end, they’re happy and joking around while (wittingly or not?) walking into eternity as the book ends, and with it their existence (...which doesn’t sound nearly as dramatic when you know there's a sequel).
Adding to that, I believe the last words imply the author (=the heavens forever watching over the characters) is joyful about the end (’the heavens themselves laughing’). Note that when Juku (or is it?) first appears in the book, in that post office scene, right after the 19 consecutive tragedies we just had to read through, we learn that ‘the heavens have been crying, but now it was as if they started laughing’, and Juku looks up at the sky and smiles. The end of the epilogue has the second-person someone (the reader?) be sad about the book coming to an end, with statements like ‘just two paragraphs remain until the end’ (and there really are only two short paragraphs in the book left after this!), and describing the heavy rain that starts in those two paragraphs as ‘the heavens crying’ (so... the sadness of both the reader and the author?). Finishing a good book, whether as a writer or a reader, is indeed both a joyful and a sad event. Similarly, the detectives are all happy and inexplicably sad when Juku claims the case has been solved. (There’s an echo of this theme even in Jorge Joestar, when with mere 15 pages left until the end of the book Jorge cries because ‘this adventure’s almost over’.)
I love the reccurring existential theme having to do with being a fictional character. It wasn’t as in-your-face as in Tsukumojuku, but it was there. While I skipped that in recaps, one of the locked room stories features a delusional man who believes he’s just a character in a novel. While scary, this belief is somewhat comforting too, and he notes it’d be nice to have a role to fulfill; to die with the sense you achieved all that you were meant to do, that The Author loved and appreciated you for who you were, and that you’re going to live eternally through a novel. (Jorge Joestar has Tsukumojuku mention how having a role to fulfill under Beyond’s care gave him comfort -- same thing, really.) But the character understands that all stories will eventually undergo destruction, and dreads it. Of course, the final message of the book, strengthened by the final events (the cult’s failure, Shiranui dying right after Juku’s birthday, and even --the book itself ending--), is that we have to accept that nothing can last forever, and the old will be replaced by the new, stories included.
When Juku and Yasha revealed the culprit’s initials, I honestly thought that he’d turn out to be the author, and the reason why they got different initials was that Juku saw the pen name (Seiryoin Ryusui) and Yasha the real name (Kanai Hidetaka). Since Yasha seemed shocked that Juku said ‘S’, I thought it meant that Yasha saw a full name but neither of the initials was ‘S’. I also thought Otohime’s advice -- to ‘look at the events from a distance’, to ‘withdraw yourself from events’ -- actually meant you have to look at the story from a distance... that is, lean back and look at the book you’re holding, which has the author’s name on the cover. Later, the sudden fourth wall break during the press conference scene, with the author prompting the reader to think carefully about who the Locked Room Lord may be, and writing his signature right under that question, only made me more sure. And there were a bunch of scenes before the Big Reveal in which other JDC characters reacted to the solution with feeling as if their world was destroyed, or getting drunk, or stressing out rather hard, so I expected they got hit with existential crisis upon learning The Truth, and that Juku will just go full meta and say that the culprit is the author: the one who really designed and 'committed’ the murders. Though with the book ending as it did, it’s not a stretch to say that Seiryoin really IS confirmed to be the true Locked Room Lord. In a way.
Other random comments:
This book is positively untranslatable. It features stuff like extensive kanji wordplays; messages in Caesar cipher but using the dictionary order of hiragana; deciphering a number as if it was an old-fashioned pager message; or reading the final message by putting the first syllable of the last kanji of the victims’ names together. And that damn Matsuo Bashou pun. All the name puns, really.
The language is rather hard, definitely harder than Maijo’s works. I think I’ll take some time to get better Japanese skills before going for Joker. (The JDC book I expect to enjoy the most is The Simons’ Case, though -- young Ajiro dadding over solving a case with kid Juku sounds amazing, and it’s a lot of fans’ fave)
For some reason, the main characters sure like to have the ‘castle’ kanji (城) in their names, like 鴉城 蒼司 (Ajiro Souji), 龍宮 城之介 (Ryuuguu Jounosuke), and 天城 漂馬 (Amagi Hyouma). ...I can’t help but notice that a certain 城字 ジョースター (Jouji/Jorge Joestar) would fit right in, lol. He pretty much is a meta-detective already, what with all the confidence and insight he gets from his Beyond.
I live for Ajiro’s and Juku’s relations. LOVE this stressed detective dad being proud of his ridiculously kind detective son.
Unexpectedly I also loved the friendship between Juku and Yasha. (With added tears because, y’know. Inugami Yasha. Investigating with Tsukumo Juku. Being friends and stuff.)
I like Ryuuguu Jounosuke quite a lot, both because of his character / reasoning skills, and because he’s as canonically aroace as he can be in a 90s book. not that you’d know that with all the Hikimiya/Ryuuguu yaoi fanart on pixiv
Unfortunately, I can’t praise Seiryoin for good rep as he’s miserable with other representation. The locked room chapters feature the depraved rapist bisexual trope, then a Bury Your Lesbians trope, and then this weird thing where a young guy has a gay crush and concludes that he must have become gay because he was abused by his mother (???)... but as it later turns out, in reality (ie. not in the manuscript) the object of the crush was a woman, so the gay part didn’t even happen. The fuq? Also there’s a one-scene-only black woman officer who’s only there so we can be told how physically strong and intimidating she is and I’m not sure how I should feel about that. I’m also pissed off that when a male detective uses vague reasoning out of nowhere, more a supernatural feeling than anything else, he gets called a meta-detective and is oh ah so elite and amazing!, but when Nemu does it it gets called ‘woman’s intuition’ and ‘fuzzy reasoning’ and she’s not considered a meta-detective, fucking really? (Maybe it is a little different, idk, she wasn’t detectiving a lot in this so we didn’t really see what she’s capable of)
On the other hand, I liked that the way Juku encouraged Nemu to become a detective involved using his connections to arrange meetings with other disabled detectives, so she could talk frankly with them and get a feel for how high-tier detectiving while disabled (esp. in terms of sight-related disabilities) is like. That’s a nice detail.
Speaking of him... Tsukumo Juku is pretty Mary Sue-ish in this, which I don’t mind (and I would be more surprised if it didn’t turn out to be intentional later), but I can imagine other readers not really liking him that much. I’ve read that Juku unfortunately doesn’t really get deeper characterization until the Carnival books, where we learn fun little stuff about him, eg. he’s horrible at cooking, and his ringtone is the opening for Manga Nippon Mukashi Banashi (an old anime introducing little kids to folktales). (I’m wondering whether or not the Kintaro thing in Jorge Joestar is related to this somehow? I don’t have many spoilers for Carnival, maybe there’s more folktales references... aside from the Ryuuguu family’s names referencing Urashima Taro, that is. And now I wonder why Jorge gets a folktale-related kids song stuck in his head so easily hmmm)
It was never explained who sent the manuscript to JDC. So far, judging by the scene with the beautiful androgynous person at the post office, and retroactively by the entire Story-sending mess in Tsukumojuku, I’d say it was Juku himself, somehow. A time-travelling Juku from the future, maybe? I don’t know anymore, man, but I’ve read that previous cases of the series come together in Carnival, so here’s hoping it gets explained better than as “a ghost did it maybe”.
For the longest time I kept wondering where the personality dissonance between this Juku and the Detective God in Tsukumojuku came from. Why would this ever gentle, kind and forgiving character be written as some vore murderer monster dude? So, here’s my current Reaching Theory TM. We know the Detective God really is ‘an Angel’ as he claimed, since in the Seventh Story, Tsukumojuku realizes that he himself is actually not ‘the Angel’ but ‘the Beast’ (he thinks about it during that, er... awkward chest pipe moment, if you remember). Now, canon Juku actually is compared to ‘an angel or a god’ in Cosmic, and it’s a good descriptor: he’s kind and forgiving, but has the sorta detached, not-quite-human air; he’s androgynous, unnervingly perfectly beautiful, and one shouldn’t look directly at him for too long. The Detective God, on the other hand, is an Angel in the same way those demons from Jacob’s Ladder are: only when you stop holding onto mortal life (the imaginary world in Beyonds’ case) and accept your death (accept you have to go ‘outside’), you may notice they’re actually angels who have been trying to help you realize the truth. Through brutal means, but still. I guess the Detective God was created by the part of the Beyonds’ subconscious that understands they have to accept the reality, or something. He’s a bit like Silent Hill monsters in this way. Note that the person the Detective God mainly attacks (and possibly talks with him off-screen earlier) is the Original. And the Story it happens in, Fourth (II), is the point after which the Original probably started thinking about the plan involving killing everything they hold dear to make them face reality. It was really Detective God who first made the Original and the Second One aware of ‘God’ -- even if indirectly: getting them to think about ‘God’ by making them refute the claim that Seiryoin is their God, getting them to think about what the presence of ‘the canon Tsukumo Juku’ before them means for their own existence. Or Maijo just likes to write hard vore and i’m thinking too much
#sparkly reads cosmic#long post#maijo and jdc stuff#hcs meta and stuff#uhhh I guess I'll also tag this as#jorge tag#though it doesn't have a lot of jorge#tsukumojuku spoilers#jdc spoilers#and surprisingly#jacob's ladder spoilers
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1) Hey Saz, this is the person from Tink's long-ass 5-parter ask. This is going to be even longer. I'm on anon because of shyness above all things but I am willing to message you off anon if you want me to do so! I saw what you wrote about that ask and I agree.... to the most point. All the 'characteristics' of Destiel that differenciate it from other ships that you listed were actually applicable to some the ships I was talking about, especially Johnlock. -->
--> 2)The other ships, yes, you may be right, but for Johnlock I felt even more wronged intellectually when it crashed to the ground than I think I'll feel if the same thing happens to Destiel. I'm going to sound like a Johnlock shipping troll, but I'm not, I ran away from the mess of a fandom it became post-season 4. So bear with me. I really can't explain what my experience was at the time if you aren't familiar with tjlc and what the pre-season 4 sherlock fandom was like. -->
-->3)But let me assure you that it was extremely alike the spn/destiel fandom right now. I want to point out the similarities of the fandom and the ship but that would basically mean me explaining why Johnlock should have been canon, and I don't think you are here for that. So let me just point out a few things. By the end of the honest-to-god fanfic-y 3rd season, the GA were taking notice of it as well, to the point where, yes, the show is being called the worst queerbait ever even to this day.
--> 4)It frankly deserves it. And it was 2017.... we thought it was due fucking time. Guess it wasn't. When looking ay bibro blogs I can't help but be reminded of Johnlock antis. At least when that was a thing, you know, because you can't be an anti of something when it turns out you were right. We made fun of them, because how the fuck can you see jealousy at weddings, literally killing for the other the day they meet, -->
--> 5) having something secret to say that they can't bring themselves to say even after the other's death, being broken over the other's death TWO YEARS LATER AND ON THE DAY YOU FUCKING PROPOSE TO YOUR GF, prefering the other over your string of girlfriends, counting the texts a woman sent the other, COMING BACK TO LIFE AFTER LITERALLY FLATLINING BECAUSE THE OTHER IS IN DANGER, and, you know, constantly making both of them have shitty relationships and be unsatisfied romantically.... -->
.... and read it all as platonic? The show literally falls apart if you take away Johnlock... sounds familiar. You know, one of the writers for Sherlock is gay. So I believed in him, after all gay writers won't queerbait, how could they? (turns out they could.)......But I digress. I won't blame you if you just glossed over what I ranted above. Actually some of the reasons I'm still holding out hope for Destiel is 1) How atrocious the last season of Sherlock was, worst than Supernatral at its worst. 2) The sense that everything is coming full circle in this season(which we didn't get, btw, in even the last season of Sherlock). 3) Misha fucking Collins. And you know, although i heatedly ranted above in response to your response, I did it only because I wanted to justify what I spent near three years on. I didn't want to leave you thinking that a ship like this didn't exist before, because in my opinion, it did. So sorry. I was being spiteful.About the 'Greatest Love Stoty Ever Told', which was in fact the big fandom tagline for Johnlock as well....... I think I'll wait and see. If it is endgame, then I agree that it really is the greatest love story ever told. And I also agree that the show seems to be going that way
Hi Nonny,
So this is all in relation to this post and I think that the easiest way to answer this is to say to anyone still doubting, including nonny, to just read the various replies and reblogs on that post, because the answers are perfect.
Also nonny I know we have spoken in private already and you said that you were feeling better after reading the responses on that post as well so I won’t go into too much depth here, but I still wanted to post your asks in case there are still people out there feeling the way you do.
This is going to be my opinion on the matter, which, of course, is just that. There are many many people out there who were greatly upset by Sherlock and I feel for you all. Its not fair what happened and what that show put you through. Your feelings and your views on the matter are 100% valid and real and nothing that I say here is trying to contradict that. You saw a love story between those characters. That interpretation, like any interpretation of a text, is real and never let anyone say you were wrong. Johnlock still exists within the text of that show, just because it didn’t end with a kiss or a love confession doesn’t mean that it isn’t a valid reading.
I started watching Sherlock before I ever got into Supernatural. When it came out in 2010 I LOVED it. My film student lizard brain picked up on the Johnlock subtext pretty much straight away and aside from some very brief thoughts of “ooh that would be a different spin on it” I didn’t pay much more attention. I continued to watch Sherlock second season in 2012 and again I noticed the subtext, but at this point recognised that it was all done for humorous purposes. I never thought they would go there. I didn’t “ship” it because I didn’t even know what “shipping” was at the time let alone thought John and Sherlock were more than friends who happen to get mistaken for a couple. That was the gag. It was what made my very typically straight male young brother giggle like an idiot because apparently being mistaken for gay was funny. (It’s not. I hate those jokes. They don’t work outside a Carry On film and I don’t even like Carry On films).
When season 3 came out in Jan 2014 I side eyed the series because I had had enough of the gay jokes. I thought it was getting weird and could see that there was a beautiful bond between the characters that imo was being twisted for cheap laughs. I pondered on whether this Sherlock was in fact in the closet, Were they trying to tell us that he was secretly gay? I didn’t get it because it was never clear enough to me that this was the case and yet they continued to play around with the concept whilst the character of John is off with his fiance. My brother continued to find the whole thing hilarious. It was never taken seriously. My musings on Sherlocks sexuality were pushed aside because it seemed clear to me that the writers were not taking it seriously.
Then over the summer of 2014 I binge watched 9 seasons of SPN. I struggled with seasons 1 and 2, made it through 3, watched 4 and fell in love with an Angel of the Lord. It took me 10 episodes to figure out Cas was gay. It took me a further 2 seasons of umming and ahhing in my own head to conclude that yes, Dean was definitely Bisexual. It took until 6x20 to realise that this was legit something in the text and not my imagination. It took until season 8 for me to believe 100% that they were going there. (I wavered a bit on that belief in seasons 9 and 10 but season 11 pulled me back and I haven’t looked back since.)
In the early seasons, 4, 5 and 6, I recognised the patterns used between Dean and Cas were the same used in Sherlock. I re-watched Sherlock at some point in 2015 and remember thinking damn yeah they really were shoving the subtext in our faces a bit. But I still didn’t ship it, even though I was 100% shipping destiel at that point. I again pondered Sherlock’s sexuality, had a brief thought of “I’d like to see that take on the story” but again discarded any thought that it would actually be textual in a show that imo seemed adamant in keeping it all about the humour. If they weren’t going to take this characters sexuality seriously, then the story was never going to seriously be explored.
See if Destiel had always remained the way it was in seasons 4, 5 and 6, then I wouldn’t have any belief that it was going canon. I would probably still ship it (the sexual tension in season 4 was insane) but the idea that it would go canon would have always been a pipe dream. So many shows use the queer subtext as a source of humour. So many shows tease their characters as queer and use homoeroticism for titillation. It delights my idiot brother to no end. I hate it. I think it desperately needs to stop. I have never ever watched an episode of Sherlock and thought that it was doing anything other than just that. (I didn’t particularly like the 4th season though because nothing made any bloody sense and I think they kind of butchered the characterisations - I did say this would all be my opinion though so please don’t take offence).
You say that the show falls apart if you take away the romantic love story and make it platonic. I guess if I was to watch it again I could try to consider that reading, but my own experience watching seasons 1-3 is certainly not from a romantic view point and it all made sense to me. Season 4 didn’t make sense at all, and by the time that was on I was deep in destiel fandom and frequently writing meta, so I DID see the romantic reading in the text and yet still didn’t understand the story. (Again, I stress this is my opinion and is in no way trying to invalidate your own). However, with Destiel, the last three and a bit seasons narratively don’t work without it. I have tried to watch them and ignore every romantic moment, or hint at a romantic love between them, and in doing so, it confuses the fucking plot. I need to sit down and catalogue all the ways seasons 10 to 13 don’t work without destiel to evidence this but it would be a pretty epic job because there are ALOT.
I understand that you feel that Johnlock and Destiel are similar ships, but my opinion is that they drastically diverted course from each other when SPN went into its eighth season. Since then, there has been nothing quite like destiel in terms of build up and story structure - unless you start comparing it to the straight ships.
Where we are right now, destiel is deeply ingrained into the narrative of the show, and it is never used as a gag. It is never poked fun of in a way that reduces Dean and Cas’s relationship. Something that I believe Sherlock did right up until its last episode. I also 100% believe that the SPN creators and cast have a much greater respect and love for their fans than the Sherlock writers and cast ever did. (I’m not much of a fan of Bendydick Cucumberpatch and I have never been comfortable with Steve Moffat... dunno why the guy just gives me the creeps (then again so does Bob Singer)). They have been so positive towards Destiel recently that I am constantly stunned whenever new media or PR comes out. I am also of the belief that someone as wonderful as Misha Collins who is a champion for the LGBT community and cares deeply about making the world a better place would never ever involve himself in something that if it didn’t happen, would be considered the biggest queerbait in TV history. Breaking the hearts and severely angering millions of fans all over the world. Misha is a very smart man. He knows exactly how much this means to us and what it will do to us if it doesn’t happen. He doesn’t exactly look worried though. He doesn’t ever look like he is guilty over encouraging this ship? He looks like a fucker who knows whats up and can’t wait til we finally get to be in on the joke so he can tweet about it 24/7.
If destiel doesn’t happen, then Misha, of all people.... well... I’d have to rethink my entire opinion of him... the idea is so unfathomable for me, so impossible, it hurts my head to even consider. Did you ever feel this way about BC or Martin Freeman?
I just can’t believe that the people behind SPN would do that to us, but the people behind Sherlock? Well it didn’t exactly surprise me when it didn’t go canon. The BBC isn’t exactly known for being progressive. It’s known for playing it safe. If Sherlock was on Channel 4 I reckon they would have gone there. The Channel 4 execs probably would have encouraged it from the start. They would have considered it ‘edgy’.
I know that the CW isn’t exactly the most progressive network either, but its a young network, with a younger demo compared to the grumpy old pensioners who sit and watch BBC every night and complain that their tax payer money shouldn’t be going towards anything other than gardening shows and Eastenders. Soooo I think that has something to do with it too. The CW has a greater chance of pulling something like this off.
I’m so so sorry that Sherlock burned you. But don’t give up hope on destiel just yet, the factors are all currently in our favour. No two ships are alike, and in my opinion, Destiel is the motherfucking Symphony of the Seas compared to all others. It’s bigger, better, and hopefully, due for launch in Spring 2018.
#yeah i'm still on a cruise buzz#im sorry if i havent explained this well#but this is purely my opinion#destiel#johnlock#personal opinions#ask#anon#Anonymous
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surviving (and maybe even thriving) in the sherlock fandom after s4
...OR, maybe even kind of sort of learning how to enjoy oneself again while being a johnlocker.
This is a post for people who are on the fence / still turned off by s4 / still struggling with how to frame it for themselves.
In light of the upcoming fic writers’ retreat, in anticipation of (I hope) having a conversation or two about this very topic, and in partial response to comments that my good fandom friends have dropped recently about their struggles with feeling like they don’t want to engage with the show or the fandom after s4, I’ve been thinking about how to continue on as a johnlocker, and why I feel more motivated than ever to find a way to have a relationship with the show (albeit a substantially altered one than before), and what fandom engagement means to me.
It probably doesn’t look like it, because I’ve participated full throttle in all kinds of conversations about the show since s4, but I do get why s4 was entirely offputting for a lot of people. While I strongly suspect that mofftiss are doing something interesting and unusual with s4, that whatever-it-is came at a heavy price: a series that looks like a hot fucking mess and actively does things that one should never do (i.e., constantly throwing into question the reality status of the story one is telling) if one wants to avoid frustrating the shit out of one’s audience.
What’s worse, the series was promoted with a promise of FINALLY answering the question of who Sherlock loves, without delivering on that promise in a way that was in any way definitive (John? Molly? Irene? Chips?) or satisfying (JOHN???). We got a scene that was really close to the kind of thing we’ve always wanted to see, at the end of The Lying Detective, an episode that also brought us an interaction between John and Sherlock that was so awful, it singlehandedly ruined the show for a lot of people.
Even though I love the shit out of talking about the puzzle of s4, I love it because I love how smart everyone in the fandom is, and how much I’ve learned about Doyle, and the many many intertexts the show engages with. I love how stunningly great people here are with teasing complex arguments out of this hot mess.
I don’t love that we got this weird thing to figure out instead of actual story. I don’t love that for some reason a major plot point was John and Sherlock detonating their relationship even more profoundly than they had before. I still think that the more skillful thing to do would have been to make a puzzle for viewers to figure out, but make it actually enjoyable to watch. (Personally, I did enjoy TLD, but I’m a sucker for Nick Hurran’s direction, I thought Ben and Martin performed incredibly, and I have a high tolerance for creepy shit and violence, so.)
SO: WHAT TO DO?
I’ve been thinking about a few of the strategies I’ve put in place / fallen back on for approaching all of this. I don’t know if any of this is helpful but here it is, for what it’s worth.
Acknowledge that the showrunners are human people and human people make good choices and bad choices and questionable choices
Before s4 aired, I wrote about the fact that mofftiss had set up a highwire act with extraordinarily high stakes, as of the end of s3. This meant they could pull off an astounding feat of storytelling, or they could fall. Instead they sort of burned down the circus tent and re-encoded all the elephants...not what any of us were expecting. I mean, surprises in storytelling can be great, but this was like hey everyone, suddenly the show is going to be performed in Esperanto instead of English, have fun with that.
Questionable at best.
To sum up: good choices resulted in the following:
Ben and Martin in s1 and 2 creating this beautiful dynamic together, eyesex and all the subtext and a tragic love story with mistakes and denial and pining and hope. s3, which bumped up the subtext to the point of ridiculousness. And TAB, which doubled down on that subtext EVEN HARDER. The purple shirt of sex and the swishy coat of alone protects me and a stalwart and broken John who is finally strong enough to partner his Sherlock and enough sexual and romantic tension to drown the population of the earth planet and a Mary Morstan who is actually Moran and there’s always two of us and hey did I mention romance yet?
We got all that, and then we got--this s4 thing.
Let me tell you about writers (speaking as one). They shit the bed all the time. They make weird choices. They have strange ideas. They fail to stick the landing. When that happens, it’s their tragedy. It doesn’t have to be yours.
Maybe this story isn’t done yet. I don’t think it is. I’m willing and able to reserve judgement, but this post is for those of you who aren’t, or can’t.
You can still like the parts of the show that you liked before. You weren’t wrong for liking what worked for you before. You would not be wrong now, for still liking those bits. All the shitty choices the showrunners could make, did make, and might still make, do not make you wrong for liking the bits you liked.
You can still like the parts of the show that you liked before.
Need permission for that? Here it is: BECAUSE MAY SHEPARD SAYS SO. I’ll make you a certificate if you want.
Need more specific help? Here’s another idea:
Get selfish. Get really, really selfish.
Remember that you are here for you. You came here, probably, because thinking about John and Sherlock together is something you enjoyed. Back immediately after s4 aired, and I was still stuck firmly in the wtf zone, I had to have a talk with myself about this.
I asked myself what I liked about the show. Why John and Sherlock, together, were so crunchy and beautiful to me. It came down to one thing: the fact that I read the show as a love story.
I’m here for my own entertainment. This is my happy place. This is where I come when my regular writing is stuck or I want to try to hack out a new part of my skill set. I get a lot out of thinking about John and Sherlock, as characters.
I still read the show as a love story, and I will continue to do so.
That means, in light of s4, doing a lot more reading in to the little moments than I used to have to. It means cherry picking a lot harder. It means ignoring vast swaths of what we actually saw onscreen. (The fact that this is the current state of meta too helps a whole heck of a lot.)
Playing the what if game a lot harder than I have previously has become the rule of the day.
What if John and Sherlock are in love? They are. For me, they are, and they always will be. Will they be in canon? Get yourself to a place where this question doesn’t matter, where your personal happiness doesn’t hang on this. We’re several months on after s4. It’s time to give your head a shake and remember that John and Sherlock love each other and will always find their way back to each other, because we say so.
If you don’t believe this, try because May Shepard says so. I’ll say it until you believe it, too: John and Sherlock are in love. The show is a love story.
I will read the show as a love story, regardless of whether it wants me to. Hey show, get ready for some sweet sweet interpretation. I hope you’re in the mood.
Still not convinced? Try this thought experiment:
Put Some Distance Between You and S4
So a few nights back I was chatting with @laughing-at-the-darkness (who is the best, go follow her immediately), and I jokingly said that what we need in this fandom is a reset, like the kind of perspective you can only get ten years after a television show has finished airing.
Try this on for size:
The year is 2027. You’re looking for some good content to watch. You remember hearing, dimly, about the fact that, a while back, BBC made a Sherlock Holmes adaptation with some pretty famous actors.
You read about it a bit first. Ah yes: the adaptation that everyone was raving about, but that did a weird thing in its fourth series. Bearing this in mind, you decide to watch.
You’re charmed by series 1-3, and the one-off Victorian special. You decide to watch s4, bearing in mind what you know about it, that it seemed to go off the rails relative to everything that had come before. You watch, prepared to laugh along at Mary’s bullet tango and the way she just won’t seem to go away and Sherlock has a sister who is also an X-Man? What????
You watch it. You shrug. You carry on thinking that s1-3 and TAB are great, like you were prepared to do.
We know what we know now: that s4 is a difficult part of canon, a stumbling block for a lot of us. If you can accept that, then you can move forward, liking the parts you like, and leaving the parts you don’t.
Moving On
I still personally have some questions about how to deal with s4 as a fic writer. There are so many potential interpretations--how does one go about sorting through the detritus? A lot of people don’t want to / can’t bring themselves to rewatch, so how much can I assume they do and don’t remember about the episodes? But these are mostly logistical issues, and solvable with some rational decision making. (I did start a fic a while back based on TST, but I wasn’t ready to finish it, and I don’t think people wanted that type of fix it in that particular moment.) s4 changed the stakes for a lot of people, so writing fic now is all about writing to a different emotional register, I think. I’m personally having fun with that, while sorting through the implications for the wips I started before s4 aired. I’m hoping we can talk about some of these issues, as writers, and as fans, but that’s a post for another day.
In any case, I’m here, John and Sherlock are in love, and I hope this is helpful in some way. I don’t want anyone to lose the thing that used to give them enjoyment, nor (on a more selfish note) do I want to see people still leaving the fandom if they don’t have to.
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