#(not always. but it is much harder for me to excuse poor writing than to excuse poor plot for example) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ponderingmoonlight · 2 months

Text

Reader going from being Gojo's lover to being his worst enemy part l

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader; Geto x fem!reder (18+)

Word Count: 2,6k

Synopsis: You were always the perfect girlfriend for Satoru Gojo: innocent, quiet and weak. Until something inside you snapped. Until you decided you don't want to be weak anymore. Until you realized that Satoru Gojo isn't your lover, but your enemy...

Warnings: big ass tw for anyone who isn't into dark reader, smut in Geto's part (you will be warned in the fic), reader going absolutely crazy, cheating, language, violence, Gojo is a bit of a jerk in this, couldn't bring myself to proofread so excuse spelling mistakes

Notes: I know you guys wanted this in one part but honestly, I've been so depressed these last weeks that I simply wasn't able to write that much. I thought one part is better than nothing though and I hope I'll be able to post part ll within the next days 🤍 If you don't mind, let me know what you think, your support means so much!

“(y/n), are you alright?”

“There’s absolutely no reason to go this hard on her, jerk.”

You stare into the blue sky above, hating yourself for the way your eyes start to sting in tears, for how weak you are. No, not again. Don’t cry in front of all of them because of something so minor. But no, this isn’t something minor.

He beat you again.

“If you want to get better than rank 4, you have to try harder, babe”, your boyfriend jeers at you.

How many times did he say that already? You lost count a long time ago. It’s a miracle that you’re still alive, given the fact that Gojo Satoru seems to lose his patience with you more and more.

No wonder. After all, you are his girlfriend. How is it even possible for the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of this time to have a girl of rank 4? You’ve been stuck with your poor abilities since joining jujutsu high, only able to sneak into training because your parents are friends of the Gojo clan.

It shouldn’t surprise you. Your life has always been like this: useless and puny. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you train, you’ll never be as good as Satoru, Suguru and Shoko. You are nothing more than their shadow, doomed to watch them from the side-lines.

“Hey, are you alright, (y/n)? That looked pretty rough”, Suguru interferes gently while helping you to get up on your wobbly legs.

“You can at least say sorry, y’know? There was absolutely no reason to beat her this hard when she’s already down”, Shoko barks towards your boyfriend.

“Oh don’t worry babe, there isn’t enough space for two legends in this relationship anyway”, Satoru jokes while wrapping his arm around your clearly bruised shoulder tightly.

Even though all you want to do is cry and hide, you force a smile onto your lips. Yes, this is what you always do. Staying by his side, looking pretty and innocent while smiling kindly. Maybe this is your purpose in life, maybe this is everything you could ask for. Many girls are getting blue over the fact that Satoru is your boyfriend. You aren’t in the position to ask for more power, for the strength to stand up for yourself. So many people would kill for a life like yours.

You should be thankful.

Right?

…Right?

-the mission-

“I’m here to save you again, (y/n)! Hey, are you cryin’?”

You hate the way hot tears stream down your face, body too weak to fight against the debris that buried you.

“If I was crying, would you console me? I’d definitely like that”, you hear Mei Mei purr from the other side

“Oh you wouldn’t cry Mei. You’re strong.”

“Hey, how dare you to talk about (y/n) like that!?”, Utahime cries out.

Your mind goes blank, body sinking into the dirt.

“Oh, you wouldn’t cry Mei. You’re strong.”

Those words. Those oh so cruel words repeat themselves over and over in your mind. He surely didn’t mean it like that, didn’t wanted to hurt you. After all, Satoru just wants to look out for you, he’s always there to help you out. His words shouldn’t hit you with full force, you shouldn’t feel this burning inside your chest, your hands shouldn’t start trembling.

You let out the shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding, eyes staring into distance. But they do and force a stinging feeling up from deep within along with one single thought.

You have enough.

Enough of smiling kindly all the time. Enough of letting others push you around and pick on you. Enough of even Satoru making fun of you. Enough of being nothing but his innocent girlfriend to the world. Enough of all the fighting, all the hiding.

For the first time in forever, you don’t force a smile onto your lips but furrow your eyebrows instead. You are…more than that.

“Don’t listen to that guy…”, you hear Utahime mumble next to you while she frees your body.

As if in trance, you follow her back up, the new feeling you just discovered tickling underneath your skin.

“She knows I didn’t mean it like that. Right baby?”

But instead of hearing the usual low “yes” coming from your lips immediately, you just stand there and stare at him before turning on your heels and leaving.

Satoru’s eyes widen. You. Leaving him standing in the rain?

“Did you hear me say something to you, babe?”, he shouts after you.

You don’t even hear him anymore, blood rushing through your ears. No more excuses, no more playing the victim, the lover. Your hands are still clenched into tight fist while you leave without turning your head.

That’s enough.

“I’m…more than that”, you mumble to yourself while staring at your naked reflection in the bathroom mirror.

You just need to work even harder, train yourself even better, change your mindset. No, you aren’t only Satoru Gojo’s girlfriend. You are powerful as well, you can feel it tickling in your fingertips.

So you worked your ass off in silence. Trained when nobody was watching, read countless books, started to introduce you to yourself.

“Beat you again!”, Satoru announces proudly while you let him throw your body into the air.

But something inside you stops you from letting all that progress show on the surface. You force the usual small smile onto your lips, let your boyfriend treat you like the dirt underneath his shoes. Over and over, without anybody noticing that something has changed.

No, you aren’t the little (y/n) they all know anymore. You are so much better than that, so much stronger than what they see in you.

Your fingers dig into the sides of the sink until it bursts under your lilac touch. Fuck this whole jujutsu high, fuck the way they all smile down at you. Fuck the way Satoru sees you as nothing but his personal toy. A maniac grin creeps up your face, violent laughter shaking your body in the middle of the night while you stare into your own stone-cold eyes.

This ends right here and now. And you will show them when the time is right.

-next week-

Will surprise Suguru this evening for his birthday. Try not to get killed while I’m gone. Love ya <3

You huff to yourself, the arrogance dripping from your boyfriend’s text message almost unleash your powers in the middle of your dorm.

No, you need to get a hold of yourself at least a little longer. After all, a few more hours won’t hurt over the fact that you went through this for over 4 years by now.

But today, you will make Satoru Gojo pay for the countless times he made fun of you. Today, you will wipe that cheeky grin off his face. Oh, how much you long for the moment when reality hits him with full force, when he finds out what your capable of.

How will he react when he finds out that you, a grade 4 sorcerer, are able to use hollow purple before he does? How will he react when he finds out his girlfriend fucked his best friend before disappearing into thin air and becoming his worst enemy? You worked on this plan for so long, replayed it over and over in your head. But now it’s time. Today, you will make the whole jujutsu world pay for all the things they did to you.

With a satisfied grin, you pull the exquisite pair of stockings you just bought for this exact moment up your legs, looking at yourself in the mirror. Oh, those black dessous definitely suit you well. Perfect for seducing the best friend of your boyfriend.

You put a simple dress on and get going. Well, is it necessary to fuck with Suguru? Absolutely not. You could just disappear right here and now and continue your plan. But where would be the fun of it? Just the thought of seeing that look of horror on Satoru’s eyes when he realizes you aren’t the girl he knows anymore, him not only losing his girlfriend, but his best friend as well. He deserves a little pain for all the things he said to you, for the countless times he made you feel worthless.

Exactly 30 minutes left until Satoru will arrive at Suguru’s doorstep as well. 30 minutes to seduce your boyfriend’s best friend, 30 minutes that will change your life forever. Are you ready to let go of the sweet and innocent girl you were, the easy life you had in the eyes of others as Satoru’s girlfriend without any power?

“Hell yes”, you mumble to yourself, heart almost beating out of your chest while you knock against his door.

Geto was always a true sweetheart, the one who always stood up for you even against Satoru. His oh so charming smile, his inviting hands, his character made of pure gold. He really doesn’t deserve what comes next.

But power demands sacrifice and pain. Maybe he’ll understand.

As soon as he opens the door, you crumble in front of him and cry. Crocodile tears stream down your face in rivers, shaky hands covering your face.

“(y/n), what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? Come on, get in!”

His hand is placed on your back and pushes you softy into the middle of the room. Instead of saying another word, he simply wraps his inviting arms around you.

“Satoru…”, you mumble.

You can clearly see the way his jaw tenses. It’s nothing new to Suguru to see you cry because of his best friend. Geto told him over and over to treat you better, to not be so rough, to look after you in a caring way. And even though he always admired how well you kept your composure, moments like this one happened once in a while.

Nothing noticeable, right?

You burry your head against his chest, arms wrapped around his neck. Oh, you never noticed how tight his muscles are, how trained he is underneath that wide uniform.

Time to take it off.

“I can’t take it anymore, Suguru”, you cry it.

Well, at least this isn’t a lie. Before he’s able to stop you, you press your lips against his. Suguru feels so different, tastes sweeter than Satoru with a hint of mint. Your hands cramp around his neck, force him to stay in place while he looks at you with his eyes widen.

“(y/n)…Please stop”, he breathes out.

Stopping? Why does he press his body against yours, then? Why do his lips start to move against yours in sync, his eyes slowly but surely fluttering shut? Suguru always held a special place for you in his heart.

And you’ll use this spark of weakness against him.

“I can’t”, you mutter against his lips while pushing him towards his bed.

He grabs your hips when you force him to sit down on his bed, dark eyes gazing up at you like in trance.

“We can’t…(y/n), this is wrong in so many ways, Satoru is my best friend-“

“I am your friend too”, you interrupt him, hand gliding up and down his chest.

“I heard it when you said that Satoru doesn’t deserve me.”

He lets out his breath, whole body tensed up like stone underneath your merciless touch. You let yourself glide onto his lap, let yourself fall onto his already rock-hard erection. No, there’s absolutely no doubt in the fact that Suguru wants you.

And that your plan will work.

“I always wanted you more. You were always so good to me, Suguru. Now let me be good to you”, you hush oh so innocent.

His eyes roll into his skull, a pained expression painted on his face while he fights for what seems like dear life underneath your merciless touch. Your words do things to him he’d never dare to speak out. Damn, Satoru is his best friend, you’ve been his girlfriend for over 4 years and right now, you’re sitting on his lap. Right now, he can’t help but imagine you underneath him while groaning his name into his ear with your sweet voice.

“Fuck”, he hisses through gritted teeth, arms pushing you harder against his pants.

Your hips start to move on their own, sensitive spot rubbing over and over against him until your wetness covers his clothes delicately, a low groan escaping his lips before he can stop himself.

Enough of that. Without thinking twice, you unzip his pants and push them down his muscular legs, heat radiating through your whole body. This is absolutely hot, so exciting that you almost come from the sheer thought of fucking Suguru. But what excites you even more is that Satoru might walk through this door every given minute in order to surprise his best friend…

“Suguru”, you moan into the thick air as soon as his fingertips brush over your clit.

“(y/n)”, he growls against your ear, head hidden against your neck.

“(y/n)…”

Your heart skips a beat, fingers digging deeper into Suguru’s skin. Yes, this is it. The moment you’ve been waiting for, the moment you’ve begged for. As if in slow motion, you turn your head around.

There he stands, bright blue orbs widen in horror while he stares at you and Suguru.

“Didn’t expect you here”, you lie, a satisfied grin plastered on your face.

Elegantly, you get up from Suguru’s lap and put your panties up.

“(y/n)…you….you fucked my best friend”, the white-haired boy breathes out.

“I need to make an announcement.”

His numb eyes dart towards you. You, the girl he loved for over four years. You, the cute and innocent (y/n) he was always proud of, the girlfriend literally any guy could ask for. You…you aren’t capable of something like that. You can’t even stand up for yourself and now…Now you’re fucking his best friend?

“See this as my first act of revenge for all those years you pushed me around like the dirt underneath your shoes, Gojo.”

The way you spit his last name at him almost sweeps him off his feet.

“What the hell are you talking about? I was always good to you and you…you just fucked my best friend”, he shouts, the numb undertone in his eyes changing into pure rage.

“Good to me? You treated me like a hamster, like your weak little pet. But let me tell you, I’m not that weak girl you taught me to be anymore.”

Roughly, you grab his wrist, light the whole room purple.

“(y/n)…”, you hear Suguru breathe out behind you.

“This can’t be true.”

Satoru’s free hand yanks towards your body, aims for control all over again. It has always been like this. Gojo, who thinks the world belongs exclusively to him. Gojo, who thinks he can treat you like a price. Gojo, who thinks you can’t live without him.

“Don’t you dare to touch me ever again”, you purr at him, escaping his grasp with ease while pushing him so hard that he stumbles backwards.

“You aren’t my boyfriend anymore. From now on, you are my enemy. And I’ll never let you forget about that, Gojo Satoru.”

Tags:

@arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain @risuola @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299@busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru

210 notes · View notes

yanderederee · 12 days

Text

SleepOver

June1st, 2004

a/n: coping w past trauma go brrrrrr— I thought it was a cute idea. I hope yall like it♡ longer than my usual words tbh, 3.5k words… whoops. ALSO!!! I love! Writing! For MamaBaji Ryoko! Why is she also lowkey a comfort character at this point? Pls read it for her if nothing else ♡

c/w: off screen child ab*se, fluffy comfort though.

before! › now! › after!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

Keisuke and Ryoko Baji were sat on their living room sofa, eyes glued to the TV. This was it, the finale of their favorite detective-murder-mystery show. Already half an hour into the episode, they were at the edge of their seats. All the answers to all the mysteries would soon come to light…

That is, until the shrill call of the home phone broke the tension.

“Kei, you get it.” Ryoko said quickly, eyes not leaving the screen. Keisuke clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Just let it ring, I ain’t missing this!”

His mother threw an empty beer can at him weakly. “It’s bad luck to not answer a phone call!”

Keisuke gave an exaggerated groan, before doing as he was told. “Don’t let me miss anything!” He called before picking the phone from its receiver. If only he could simply pause the show for a moment to pick up where he left off….alas, it is 2004—-

“What?” He asked rudely. Before he could even have the chance to correct himself with a proper greeting, the eerie sound of crying stopped him in his tracks.

“K-kei…” your strained voice rang loud— despite it only being a whisper.

“Y/n? What’s wrong? Where are you?” He rapid fired questions, already itching to throw on his shoes.

“H… he hit me… not l-like usual… I—“ you cried even harder, breaking your poor boyfriend’s heart.

“That fucking bastard… are you still at home?” He asked. Honestly, he was eager to speed over and beat your father to a fucking pulp. He’d only met the guy once, by accident. After he learned of your father’s disgusting habit of hitting you anytime he was frustrated, Baji made it a point to make sure you were home as little as possible. He should have rocked his shit the second he first found out.

“He… kicked me out. I kind of already started walking to your place… if that’s okay,” you said softly, worriedly. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you beforehand, if it any trouble- I’ll—“ you began to excuse yourself, in case inviting yourself over on such short notice was a nuisance.

“I’m on my way. Keep walking along the same path we always do, I’ll find you. I’ll take mom’s phone with me just in case, call me if anything changes, okay? I’ll be there in just a few minutes.” Keisuke sped his words out, turning to his mom expectingly. “I’m sorry….” You sobbed into the reciever. “Don’t apologize, don’t ever apologize. I’ll be there soon, I promise.” He replied softly. “I’ll see you soon, remember, call me on mom’s phone if you need me before I show up.”

After he’d receiving your confirmed response, he hung up the phone and ran to his room to grab his bike keys. “Who was that? Where are you going? Why do you need my phone?” Ryoko called out, worried.

“Y/n. I’m picking her up. Need your phone just in case, alright?” Keisuke said, rather than asked. Her eyes grew wide with worry, quickly pulling the decise out of her purse to hand it to him.

“What happened?” She asked, but her son was in too much of a hurry, already stepping on the heel of his shoes. “I’ll be back,” he gave no further explanation, before running out of his apartment and down the stairs.

After retrieving his bike, he was off like a bat out of hell on route to you. Keisuke could remember the path you both took to walk back and forth between each other’s homes even if he was blindfolded at this point.

True to his word, it had only taken 7 minutes to reach you; who was walking small on the furthest edge of the street. “Y/n!” He yelled after you, skidding his bike to a halt, too quickly had he hopped off and kicked over his kickstand.

He ran to you, arms open for you as you rammed yourself into his chest, tugging tightly to his tee shirt.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you.” He said calmly, careful to maintain his composure for you. He didn’t want you mistaking his pent up aggression as your fault. He could wait to release it the next time he saw your father.

“Keisuke..” you sobbed into his shirt, shaking like a leaf when his arms wrapped around you tightly. “I know. Don’t cry anymore, everything’s fine now.” He did his best at comforting you, even if he wasn’t confident in his ability to do so.

“Let’s go home, we can stop by the corner store and grab some snacks on our way. ‘You ate dinner yet?”

He pulled away, just enough to look at your poor face. God, you bruised fast. Keisuke hated how much the sight sent him over the edge. He always looked at you to feel steady and at ease with all the was wrong in the world. Yet now, seeing you so upset, hair disheveled, tear stained, and bruised… he wasn’t sure how long his restraint would last.

Still, your angelic smile took him out of his grotesque thoughts of violence. You smiled like you were so relieved to see him. Despite your poor state, you were happy to finally be held by your ever concerned boyfriend. “I’d like that…” you whispered, throwing your arms over his shoulders again before burrowing into the crook of his neck.

Baji took a deep— deep breath, before letting it out, and holding you tighter.

How many times would he break his promise of protecting you? The pain of not being able to do so was slowly eating away at him.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

When you both finally made it home safe, Ryoko was sitting at the table, fiddling with a cup of tea anxiously. Quick to greet you both, the mother all but froze upon seeing your bruised face. Similarly to her son, her stomach sank and turned. Unable to hide her prickling of tears, Ryoko rushed over to you and held you in her arms tightly.

“Oh honey…” she whispered into your hair, holding back from crying as best she could. Things like this didn’t usually upset her, she’d gotten used to her son coming home with much worse a long time ago.

But you were a different story. You didn’t deserve any of the hurt that came your way.

The feeling of being embraced by her motherly scent, you were quick to tip over the edge as well. You were just emotionally vulnerable right now, you couldn’t help when fresh hot tears came spilling over onto her shirt.

“Sit on the couch, I’ll be right back.” She said with a squeeze, a final look over of your face, before dashing off to the bathroom.

Unsure, you looked over at your boyfriend. He gave you a warm smile and smoothed a hand over your back. Walking with you andsitting next to you on the couch, he pulled open the bag from the corner store. “I know you said you were cool with it, but you’re sure Yakisoba’s alright for dinner? I mean, I do it all the time I guess so I ain’t one to talk but—“

“What? Have you not eaten?” Ryoko asked with furrowed brows, hands full with anti-swelling gel and an ice pack. Nervously, you looked down in your lap. Ryoko sighed, sitting on her knees while giving your face another look over. “It’s okay, I’m not mad sweetheart. I’m happy you’re here,” she said kindly, resting her hand on your opposite cheek. “If you ever need anything, we’ll help you. You don’t even need to ask, okay?” She said while looking you in the eyes, apparently emotional as she did so.

You tried to reply to her kind words, but got chocked up before you could. So instead, you nodded softly, hugging her. She hugged you back, looked at her son, glancing at the first aid materials laid out on the table, and back to him, expectedly.

Keisuke nodded to his mother when she gave you another final squeeze before lifting to her feet. “I was just about to whip up some dinner,” she lied with an award winning grin. “Any requests?” She asked, already halfway to the kitchen.

“Her cooking sucks, but it’s tolerable—“ Keisuke began to tease, expecting to have to dodge a thrown ladle in response. But given the situation, Ryoko’s death glare was equally as bone chilling.

You giggled at the exchange, feeling a weight of tension lifting off your shoulders being in the casual and warm home. “No ma’am, no requests.” You replied. “She likes extra konbu in her soup, and extra rice.” Baji called over, grinning ear to ear when you gave him an embarrassed shove.

“Here,”Keisuke held the ice pack up, now that it wasn’t dangerously cold to hold against your face. Still cold to the touch, you flinched unexpectedly. “Hold that on there for a while. ‘Less you want to be spoiled, I can hold it for ya” he chuckled in jest.

“I got it, thanks.” You chuckled back, and held the ice pack to your cheek.

Keisuke was practically a professional when it came to patching up wounds, ever since his mom started making him to do it himself years ago. He’d be sure to help you apply the anti swelling gel after dinner.

To waste the time, Keisuke quickly turned on the re-run for his show’s finale.

You’d seen enough episodes to know a few characters names, and some important plot points, but still fell short of many of the shocking twists the show threw at your flabbergasted boyfriend.

Sitting so closely on the couch was still a little foreign to you, normally used to sitting side by side on the floor pillows. It felt weird when your knees would touch eachother, or when his arm would casually fall behind you in the back of the couch, his warmth radiating against the back of your neck.

You felt yourself wanting to lean closer, to lay your head against his shoulder. Perhaps if you were alone, you would be so bold. But with his mother just a few feet away; you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.

“Damn that was good!” The youngest Baji hollered with glee. “I know right! Even I couldn’t have saw that one coming!” Ryoko hollered back with a laugh. “Alright, dinners ready!”

Quick to help you up from the couch by ever so chivalrously taking your hand in his, you both made way to sit at the table with giddy little smiles.

It wasn’t much, and while Baji’s off-handed comment wasn’t incorrect, you felt as though you’d just finished eating the best dinner you’d had in a very long time.

“Thanks for the meal!” You tried gathering the dishes together to help clean, but Ryoko simply wouldn’t allow it. “I’m glad someone appreciated it,” she chuckled before beginning the washing.

“About tonight, I’d offer you Keisuke’s bed tonight; but that brat can’t keep his room clean to save his life. The sheet probably hasn’t been—“ “I just washed them three weeks ago!” “Oh my god.” She sighed.

“Anyway, if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch, I’ll have Kei bring out a few blankets to lay on. Is that okay?” She asked worried.

“I really shouldn’t impose,” you tried to deflect the act of kindness, but the thought of going home made you physically want to throw up. “But… as long as you’re okay with having me, the couch is plenty. Thank you so much.”

Ryoko smiled happily, and gave her son a quick look, as if to tell him to fetch what she’d asked for. He obediently got up from his spot at the table, and left to bring in the spare blankets. “Do you need a shower?”

“No ma’am.” “You’re sure? You don’t have to be shy, I’ll lock Kei in his room so he won’t peek.”

“I WOULDNT DO THAT!” Keisuke yelled at the top of his lungs with a red face.

You laughed. “No, I’m alright, really.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back with some night clothes.” She patted your head before walking off to her room.

All the attention had began to overwhelm you, as you started fidgeting in the dinning room chair. It was a lot, more than you could get used to in such a short time.

“Sorry, I can tell you’re probably uncomfortable. That’s just the way she is.” Your boyfriend spoke in a quiet tone, as to not alert his mother in the room over. “She just really cares about you. ‘Appreciate you for putting up with her.”

You both sat in silence for a few seconds, until you stood up and helped with tucking in some blankets between the couch cushions. “You have a really good mom, Kei. I understand why you’re so serious about doing well in school now. Let’s work together to make her proud, okay?” You said to him, earning you a shocked look.

The shock wore off, and left behind a childlike smile. “Let’s do our best.” He agreed, patting your head gently, til his hands began running down the sides of your hair, and onto your cheek.

The genuine moment shared between you two made your heard pound. He’s touch was so gentle and considerate. Had you only known Baji as a brawler, the act would have seemed foreign coming from him. But you knew Keisuke as a gentle person, who loves animals enough to care for the local strays, who looked out for his friends, and fought on their behalf.

This was just another side of him you absolutely adored.

The tension created was undeniable, as you both slowly leaned into one another, threatening to share a kiss in his own living room.

“Alright, here you go!” Ryoko called out loud, as if intentionally. Your faces both went red at being caught to blatantly. “T-thank you!” You yelled back, quick to your feet and to grab the garments from her arms. “I’ll get changed.”

Quick to lock yourself into the bathroom, you couldn’t get over how hot your face was burning. The swelling on your cheek stung at the blood flow, eventually bringing you back to reality.

About why you were there in the first place. You looked in the mirror, assessing the damage for yourself. It was definitely dark, but the swelling was not as bad as it could have been.

As you changed out of your day clothes and into the clean night wear, you noticed something funny. The sweatpants fit fine, but the shirt was considerably large. Looking it over, it was a black shirt with a skull print. Definitely Keisuke’s.

Did she accidentally give you the wrong shirt? Still, as you brought the collar up to hide the lower half of your face, you could smell his usual scent over the laundry detergent. It was so comforting.

After folding your clothes as neatly as possible, you left the bathroom and headed back to the living room.

“Alright let’s see… a plastic bag to store your clothes… an extra pillow… that should be everything.” Ryoko yawned. “Alright, time to call it a night. I work in the morning, but I’ll be quiet so I don’t wake you. Sleep well Y/n~”

She escaped to her room, but quickly gave a shout, “You too Keisuke! Go to bed and don’t try pulling any funny business! My door’s open!”

Keisuke clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes at her final comment.

“Here, let me help you with this real quick, then I’ll be out of your hair.” He said while pulling out the gel from earlier. Careful as to not apply any unnecessary pressure, his middle finger gently rubbed circles into your cheek. You sat patiently as he did so, happy to be taken care of as if you were made of glass.

Once he’d finished, he tried retracting his hand, but… couldn’t. Keisuke looked over your face again, disappointed. “I’m sorry this happened…” he whispered, and hung his head. His hand followed suit, gripped in a fist as it rested beside you on the couch. “I keep saying I’ll protect you, yet…”

You smiled, accepting that it was your turn to comfort his insecurities. “You take care of me more than you realize, Kei… I couldn’t be selfish enough to ask for anything more.”

Baji sighed, laying his head in your lap.

“You should be more selfish, yaknow that?”

“I’ve always taken care of myself. I’ll manage.” You said softly.

It didn’t do anything to comfort him though.

Suddenly, an idea popped in his head. He smiled, and looked up at you from his resting position. “How’s learning self-defense sound? I’ll teach ya.”

Your eyes widened. “Learn self defense? Like, how to fight? I don’t think—“ you nervously looked away, but Keisuke took your hand in his, leaning closer. “Not how to fight, dummy. I’d rather kill someone than let you fight. Just some basic self-defense. Well, maybe more intermediate.” He thought about it eagerly. “Please? I swear I won’t be hard on you. I’ll even demonstrate with Chifuyu first so you know what to do.”

Keisuke has always been a pretty passionate guy, but right now, he was absolutely starry eyed.

Always quick to give in, you giggled at his eagerness. “Sure, I think that’s a good idea.”

After agreeing to his idea of teaching you how to defend yourself, and a final call from his mom to leave you alone, he finally departed into his own room.

Even with all the lights off, and no voices echoing through the small apartment… it felt like a home. A genuine home. It was nothing like the cold, large and quiet house you visited after school.

You felt safe, secure under the cozy blankets. The couch was comfortable, and the extra pillows elevated your head to lesson the swelling in the morning.

Therefore, There was no reason for you to be awake still, after two hours of tossing and turning.

It’s not like you were uncomfortable. Why couldn’t you go to sleep? Perhaps it was because your mind was working overtime. When you went home in the morning, dad was sure to be pissed at you for not coming home, even if he was the one to kick you out in the first place.

You were literally damned if you did return, and damned if you didn’t. You were worried about the consequences. Would he hit you the same as he did just a few hours ago? Would he ignore you? Ground you? Forbid you from seeing Baji ever again?

Well, it’s not like he knew Baji was your boyfriend in the first place. He probably already forgot all about his existence.

Still, the possibilities kept multiplying, causing you to stir with upset.

“Hey, you still awake…?” A soft whisper called from the other end of the living room. Turning to face the sound, you found Keiuske standing awkwardly. “Yeah…” you whispered back in a disappointed tone. “Can I sit with you?” He asked right after; already making his way closer to you.

You could never deny him, ever.

“Of course,” you smiled at him through the darkness, finally able to make out his facial features with him closer now, seated on the floor by your head. “Why are you still awake?”

Keisuke rested his arm on the couch, laying his head like a pillow against it as he stared at you. “I dunno.” He lied. It was easy to tell when he lied when he looked at you so sincerely.

“You sure?” You doubled down, propping your head up on your wrist to look down at him. He didn’t look away.

“I just…” Keisuke thought about his next words carefully. “I don’t know why, really… guess I’m just restless.”

You nodded, folding back a piece of hair that fell in his face. “Me too.” you lied. And he could tell. He didn’t call you out on it though. Playing with his hair eventually lead to you running your fingers through it, the same as you would when petting PekeJ. This brought Baji so much comfort, his eyes started slacking.

Not wanting to say anything to ruin the mood, you silently kept petting Baji’s smooth hair through your fingers., occasionally running your nails along his scalp to ease him further. While he began to doze off, you took time to appreciate how pretty your boyfriend was.

His clear complexion, although littered with tiny battle scars. His thick eyebrows, permanently narrowed to give him his signature resting bitch face. The faint scent of strawberry chapstick, the same one you gifted him after teasing him about how chapped his lips were for your first kiss.

Everything about him made you feel so at ease. Completely entranced, you couldn’t think about anything else.

No stupid stuff like your family, at least.

Once you were certain he had fallen asleep, you leaned in close and laid a kiss on his forehead. “I love you,”you whispered away from his ear, not wanting to wake him.

And despite not being conscious, Keisuke smiled.

You pulled one of the multiple blankets off of you, and gently draped it over him.

You laid your head down again, and watched the back of his eyelids dance in slumber, his soft snoring helping ease you to sleep yourself.

taglist: @lovley212 ,

#FragileDearest #I hope this post reaches you in good spirits #I’m sincerely unwell #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x y/n #tr x reader #Tokyo revengers baji #tr baji #Baji #Baji keisuke #keisuke baji #baji x reader #keisuke x reader #baji keisuke x reader #a letter from Baji Keisuke #letter from keisuke baji

108 notes · View notes

hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 1 year

Text

✨️1K Followers Celebration Day 3: TXT bias wrecker - Kai✨️

Special delivery

AN: Honestly, my TXT bias list is a fucking mess right now but, I think Kai tentatively holds the position of bias wrecker (though Yeonjun has been yelling in my ear lately). Also, it's completely by accident that my two most recent TXT fics are porn genre/trope related lol. However, I had a lot of fun writing this and my Soobin fic so, maybe I'll explore more tropes, clichés etc with different idols in future fics.

Synopsis: Kai hates his job, but he needs to pay rent. However, when a ridiculously pretty woman can't pay him and offers up another form of payment, maybe it isn't all bad.

Heads up: Huening Kai x Fem! Reader, Pizza delivery man! Kai, strangers to strangers who fuck, the plot is virtually nonexistent, porn logic applies here, implied power dynamics (more dominant Reader and more submissive Kai), praise kink (m. receiving), hints of a size kink, oral sex (m. receiving), Reader touches herself while sucking Kai off, unprotected piv sex, nipple play (f. receiving) and creampie.

Word count: 3199

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

Today sucks. It's been hot as hell the entire day, two customers gave him shit for their orders being wrong and he got a text from his roommate that their shower broke. Again. Kai is at his wit's end.

He slams the door of the delivery car harder than strictly necessary but, he can't bring himself to even pretend to care right now. To say his day has been terrible would be a gross understatement. Luckily, he only had an hour left of his shift, and then he would be a free man. That's the single thought that pushes him forward. He can do this. Just one more hour.

He's about to knock on the door of his current delivery address again before it swings open. His words die on his tongue when he takes in the very attractive woman mere centimetres away from him with a robe that leaves very little to his imagination.

"Hi! I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer. I just hopped out of the shower. Just give me a minute and I'll go get my purse," You're gone before he can utter anything in response. Images of what he thinks you look like in the shower flood his mind without much prompting. He needs to get it together. He's a grown man. He shouldn't be getting hard just from fantasising about a stranger taking a shower. Especially not when he's fucking working.

"Oh shoot, I don't have any cash on me. Do you accept card by any chance?" You ask once you return, your head titling in a way that Kai finds far too endearing.

"Um no, Miss. Sorry," he tries not to visibly cringe at the shakiness evident in his voice.

"Damn. I don't know how else I could pay you," you ponder loud, crossing your arms. Which makes him panic because the motion just causes your tits to be even more visible through your poor excuse for a robe.

He's not sure if he's just that obvious or, you have knack for these situations but, you notice him looking. He really doesn't mean to. He just can't help it. Who could really blame him? They were right there.

Before he can't comprehend what's happening, you're in his personal bubble. Eyes that were warm and welcoming moments ago now light up with knowing amusement. Kai swallows.

"Well, I could always pay you another way if you'd like," you trail off.

Now, Kai may not be the best at reading these kinds of situations, but it's clear as day what you're offering.

He knows this is probably incredibly unethical. He knows he shouldn't even be considering what you're so blatantly suggesting, but you are pretty. He'd be lying to himself if he thought otherwise. Plus, it's been longer than he cares to admit since he's gotten any action, and here you are, offering yourself up to him willingly.

He'd be an idiot to say no.

"Okay," he whispers, and he's caught completely off guard when you practically launch yourself at him. Eager hands winding into his hair and soft lips pressing against his. Blood rushes south so quickly that it leaves him completely disoriented. Trying his best to meet your enthusiastic kisses before he realises he's still holding your pizza like an absolute buffoon.

"Hey, s-sorry. Can I put this down somewhere?" He cringes at himself, hoping his awkward interruption hadn't completely obliterated the mood.

"Oh right, sorry. I got a little carried away there," you respond with sheepish laugh, "You can just put it on the table over there."

Once his hands are free and, to his relief, you still want to continue, he hesitantly rests them on your hips. Losing himself in your expert kisses once more and groaning against you when you experimentally tug on his hair. Blood rushing to his face when he feels you smile against his lips at that.

His brain stops functioning all together when you press yourself closer to him. Soft tits against his broad chest, your arms wrapped firmly around his neck, and your stomach flush against his quickly growing erection. He can feel so much of you all at once, and it's not helping his already delicate resolve.

"You can touch me, you know," you say once you two remember that you need to breathe. Your eyes already heavy with such blatant want that it's honestly doing fantastic things for Kai's ego.

"I did-didn't want to go too far or make you uncomfortable,"

Your giggle is like music to his ears, "Considering that I'm going to let you fuck me, I think you're fine. That's very cute, though. Thanks for thinking about my comfort."

He's not sure if his cock twitches because you so casually mentioned letting him fuck you or because you called him cute but, either way, he takes your go ahead. Large hands grabbing generous handfuls of your ass and tits, respectively. Mind already growing foggy from how soft you feel and the kisses and nips you press to his jaw.

"You're so broad," he hears you mutter softly against his neck, shudders running down his spine from the sensation. He's sure his face is flushed from your words. No one's ever called him broad in this kind of situation, and from the way his head spins, he may be learning some things about himself today.

"Th-thank you," he stutters out, not entirely sure what to say in response and still trying to make sense of this realisation as your hands greedily run along his shoulders.

"You're too fucking cute," you groan, weaving one of your hands back into his hair and tugging him down into a messy kiss. At this point, Kai is more than happy to let you do whatever you want with him. Though, he supposes, it should be the other way around given the...circumstance he finds himself in.

He gasps into your mouth, fingers biting into your skin, when you palm him over his jeans. He's already so hard, and every bit of friction you allow him makes his knees buckle.

His grip on you tightens without much thought from him when you lavish his throat with licks and open-mouthed kisses once more. Your smaller hands toying with the belt of his jeans. Not quite seriously trying to unbuckle it, but just the brushes of your fingers so close to where his aching for you makes him feel dazed.

"Please," he whines, desire and embarrassment coiling tightly in his gut.

"Please what?" You ask, a mischievous gleam in your previously warm eyes. Fingers pushing up his shirt to trace nonsensical patterns on his abdomen. Kai thinks he's either going to scream or cry.

"Plea-please touch me," he whispers, trying his utmost not to grind himself into your hand.

"Well, since you asked so nicely," before he can blink, you're on your knees in front of him. Skillfully unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans.

"He-Hey, you don't ha-have to do that," he says quickly, piecing together through the fog of his mind what you're planning.

"I thought you wanted me to touch you?" You ask coyly and, fuck if the sight of you staring up at him with faux confused innocence doesn't make his cock twitch.

"I- yes, I do but, I didn't- you don't have to y'know if you don't want to,"

"What makes you think I don't want to?"

Oh. You've got a point there, he concedes.

"You should relax, cutie. I'm not doing anything I don't want to," Kai hates the way his cock jumps at the wink you have the audacity to send him while tugging down his boxers and jeans.

Relief fills him when he's finally free from the increasingly restrictive confines of his bottoms, but it's fast replaced with anxiety when you just...stare at him.

God, do you think it's ugly? Is it too small? Is it curved weird? Fuck, what if you-

"So pretty," he hears you barely whisper, lidded eyes becoming glossy as you wrap, or rather attempt to wrap, your hand around him. Between the compliment that leaves him completely blindsided and the slight pressure your hand provides, he can't help the whine that bubbles out of him and the jolt of his hips into your soft hold.

Kai feels his vision blur for a second when you take your first tentative lick of him. Pretty pink tongue curiously dragging along the underside of the head of his cock. That mischievous gleam is still present in your eye, and before his brain can catch up to what's happening, he finds himself enveloped in your warm, wet mouth.

His hands weave themselves into your hair instinctively. A broken, bordering on embarrassing, moan falling from his lips when he feels your throat constrict around him. Your hand stroking everything you can't fit in that sinful mouth of yours. He thought the feeling alone would drive him to madness, but the sounds of you gagging on him sends shudders down his spine. Hips shallowly fucking you as not to overwhelm you.

However, given how eagerly your choking on his dick, he doubts he could overwhelm you even if he tried.

He cracks his eyes open with much effort and immediately regrets the decision. Your pretty face is streaked with stray tears, and the combination of your spit and his pre-cum dribbles down your chin. If that wasn't bad enough already, he notices your unoccupied hand disappear between your thighs. His muddled mind taking longer than he cared to admit to understand what you're doing.

Holy fuck, are you touching yourself right now? Is this even real? Based on the circular motions he notices your hand making and moans that are being muffled by his dick down your throat, that pretty much confirms his suspicions.

"Wait shit fuck, st-stop," he stutters out, large hands gently tugging you off of his length before he makes a fool of himself and cums in your mouth.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, looking up at him. Fuck. He can barely look at you right now. Face smeared with tears, spit and his pre-cum. Your eyes a combination of concern and still barely restrained desire. He just hopes you don't notice his cock twitch then.

"Yeah, I just- I was close,"

Warmth floods his face when a smug grin spreads across your face.

"Oh? Why stop then? I'd gladly swallow anything you're willing to give me,"

Kai closes his eyes in an attempt to collect himself momentarily. Which turns out to be a terrible idea because his mind unhelpfully supplies images of his cum streaked across your face and your tongue. God.

"I'd rather cum somewhere else,"

He tries not to feel too proud of himself at the stunned look that crosses your pretty face. It feels good to leave you a little off kilter for once.

You laugh a little breathlessly as you make your way onto unsteady feet, "So you do know how to talk." He resents the way he flushes at your teasing.

His response dies on his tongue when you gently shove him back. He lands on your couch with a soft thud, looking up at you in question only to feel his tongue turn to lead in his mouth and his cock jump against his abdomen.

You shrug off your robe. Exposing your completely nude form to Kai and, he drinks you in. Taking in your breasts and the way they jiggle with every minute bit of movement from you, the slopes of your waist and hips until eventually he zeros in on your slick upper thighs. His blood turns molten. He can't quite see your pussy as clearly as he'd like to but, the streaks of wetness he can see on your thighs makes his head spin.

"You're staring," you tease, strutting over to him. He's not sure if the sway in your hips is just for him or not, but he couldn't care less. He's mesmerised.

"I can't help it. You're beautiful,"

You stop between his legs, and for a moment, he's terrified he went too far. Was calling you beautiful too much? God, why can he never get his foot out of his fucking mout-

He's pulled out of his anxious spiral by your smaller hands cupping his face. You smile at him and proceed to kiss him softly. Your thumb caressing his jaw as he finds himself lost in you once again.

"Thank you, cutie. You're really sweet," you mutter against his mouth, making yourself comfortable in his lap. Any line of thinking Kai had going is swiftly drop kicked out of his mind when he feels your pussy glide over his cock. Based on the way your hands fly to his broad shoulders and the little gasp that leaves you, he's not the only one affected.

He thinks he might lose his mind if you don't sink down on him immediately.

"Please," he whimpers, his hands making themselves at home on your hips.

"Since you asked so n-nicely," you respond with a devious smile. His heart rate continues to tick up when your hand grasps him and lines him up with your entrance.

Kai knows he's in trouble as soon as you begin to sink down onto him. His vision blurring slightly, and his hold on you quickly becoming bruising just from his tip being enveloped by your scorching, slick walls. The little strained whimpers and moans that slip from your lips only making it all worse.

It takes everything in him not to just shove you down onto him or snap his hips up until he's fully inside of you. However, he's not so far gone in his lust that he can't see that hints of discomfort on your pretty face. He pulls you down into a kiss in the hopes of providing some form of distraction. Long fingers reaching between your soft thighs, and he can't help that small smile that finds its way onto his face when you gasp into his mouth and clench around him.

He experiments with various speeds and patterns until he finds the one that cause you to moan into him and, more of your wetness to gush down his cock. "You're taking me so well," he mutters, half-delirious from how otherworldly you feel, and he isn't even fully inside of you yet.

He isn't prepared for you to so suddenly take him all at once. Needy hands tugging on his hair and watery cries of pleasure pressed into his mouth. Kai, for his part, his just trying not to cum from all of the unexpected sensations assaulting him at once. His fingers biting into the skin of your thighs as he fights to regain his composure. Closing his eyes and kissing you back to the best of his abilities while his cock throbs inside of your velvety walls. He's so fucked.

If anyone asks, he definitely doesn't whimper when you start to move. He definitely doesn't leave indents of his fingers on your skin from how tightly he's holding onto you. He definitely doesn't keep his eyes shut just so he doesn't cum in an instant from watching how your face contorts in pleasure for him, how your tits bounce and how your unreal pussy splits open to take him. Definitely not.

His attempt at concentration is disrupted when his ears catch a strangled cry from you, and you clamp down harshly around him. He cracks his eyes open and immediately wishes he hadn't.

The light from the setting sun hits you beautifully. Forming a halo around you as you continue to ride him. Your nimble fingers toying with your nipples and, based on the whines that fall from your devious mouth, they're pretty sensitive. He can't help the way his hips jolt up into at the vision you provide. Yeonjun had always teased him for being a bit of a romantic.

Instinct guides him. His arms coming to wrap around your waist as he fucks up into you. He wouldn't be shocked to find out his eyes had crossed from the depth this angle allows him. Eager mouth latching onto one of your tempting nipples. Groaning into your skin with every lick and suck and tug of the sensitive bud. Unadulterated lust guiding him all the way.

The symphony of skin slapping against skin and your wanton cries fill the space of your living room. Your hands are restless. Not quite sure if you want to tug on his hair or steady yourself on his broad shoulders. "So good. So de-deep," he manages to catch you whine, bordering on pathetic and that just motivates him to fuck you harder. Keeping you in place with his firm grip so you have no choice but to take all of him.

Between the way you tighten and spasm around him and the increasing pitch of your moans, Kai isn't sure how much longer he can last. Teeth nearly sinking into the flesh of your tits with how wound up he is and large hands drifting downwards to grab generous handfuls of your ass.

"I-I think I'm go-gonna cum," he moans out, "Sh-should I pu-pull out?"

Your hands move to cup his face so quickly that his foggy brain takes a few moments too long to even register it. Nails biting into his cheeks and your eyes blazing as they bore into his, "Don't you dare."

Kai couldn't have stopped himself from unravelling even if he wanted to.

He's practically crushes you to his larger frame while he remains completely sheathed inside of you. Ropes and ropes of his cum painting your walls white as he moans loudly, his chest heaving and flushed with exertion.

His disoriented eyes find your frenzied ones once he's able to crack them open. Your mouth shaped in a silent O and, it only hits him when he feels you clench harshly around his softening cock and more of your wetness gushes out of you of that you're cumming. The sting in his scalp is worth it as he takes in the way you fall to pieces on top of him. Eyes fluttering shut and your body convulsing. He tries his best to soothe you through it. Pressing gentle kisses to your neck and shoulder. Large hands rubbing your thighs gently.

He rests against your couch when you eventually sag against him. Laboured breaths hitting the skin of his neck where you've made yourself comfortable. A combination of your releases beginning to trickle out of you and, down his spent cock and balls.

The silence is more comfortable than he anticipates. Neither of you feeling the need to fill it while you gain your bearings.

A thought hits Kai, and he panics. Feeling like the biggest piece of shit on the face of the Earth.

"What's wrong?" You mutter, fingers absentmindedly toying with the ends of his hair.

"I never asked you for your name,"

Your giggle could easily be mistaken for windchimes, "Oh, is that all? It's Y/n. What's yours?"

"It-it's Kai."

"It's nice to be properly introduced to you, Kai," you respond with a dizzying smile.

Yeah, maybe today isn't all bad after all.

#hueningkai smut #huening kai smut #kai smut #txt smut #1k followers celebration day 3 #1k followers celebration #1k followers milestone

382 notes · View notes

my-writings-and-musings · 1 year

Note

Can I please request something with Earthspark Megatron and Bot reader? Something along the lines of they’re a medic bot that stays with the Maltos. Can be headcannons or a scenario, whatever you feel.

Thank you!

Oooohhh definitely! I love writing the reader as a medic, it opens up a ton of fun scenarios to write!

"Do you like making my job harder?"

Even though he had his back to you, Megatron's smirk was apparent in every syllable, and his smugness was so thick you were halfway tempted to quit the patch job you were applying to his back. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"It's hard enough to convince the Terrans to play it safe, and every cut or bruise is extra work for me." you snapped in open annoyance, recalling countless conversations encouraging the young bots to mind themselves as you patched up their usually inconsequential injuries. They'd rarely listened to said advice, even with their parents telling them much of the same thing, but you never had the spark to be mad when they inevitably came to you for healing. Those big optics could cut through a spark of stone... At least the Terrans were sweet and had the excuse of their youth, this colossal pain in your aft just chose to cause you problems.

"They're young, a little roughhousing now and then is good for them." Megatron replied with a wave of his servo, sitting so casually on the edge of the berth it would have been impossible for an unknowing observer to believe he was getting a blast wound patched up. You knew him well enough to find his resilience for pain annoying, as it seemed to always result in him ignoring his limits and giving you more to fix.

"Why does your roughhousing have to involve explosives?" you asked with open incredulity, recalling how many warnings you'd given that very morning to avoid this exact scenario. Your only solace in being right was that he had been the one to end up taking an overpowered blaster shot to the back, and that the kids had actually been rightfully careful during the target practice exercise he'd set up. Still, you felt he'd earned a chewing out, as you'd had far more important things planned than repairing him. "For the record, those injuries are a lot harder to patch up! Case in point..."

"I'll be fine, and now they know how to adjust a blaster's intensity." he replied casually, the pride in his voice making you roll your optics. The targets he'd held up for the Terrans to shoot had quickly proved easy enough for them to hit, so in his limitless genius he'd decided to drag a few through the air in his altmode for an additional challenge. It wasn't clear exactly how the blaster had accidentally been switched from a harmless concussive round to a low grade explosive, but poor little Twitch had been the one to discover the error when her shot punched clear through the target and nearly knocked Megatron out of the sky. He'd still been sizzling by the time you got him to stop gushing over the excellent shot and come with you to the medical bay, and by the way he spoke you could tell he had no plans of stopping once the repairs were done. "You can't deny that Twitch showcased some impressive aim."

Grumbling to yourself, you couldn't help but recall how the little Drone had gone from apologizing through her tears to smiling in shy pride as Megatron praised her efforts, and your spark melted despite the best of your efforts. Darn this mech for making you go beyond every bit of common sense you had, but it seemed he just had that effect on bots. You were grateful not to be facing his smirk as you sighed in defeat.

"It was an excellent shot..."

#transformers #maccadam #earthspark #transformers earthspark #tf earthspark #transformers: earthspark #megatron #tf #megatron x reader #transformers x reader #x reader #tf imagines #bot reader #medic reader #self insert

237 notes · View notes

nickfowlerrr · 1 year

Text

waiting

pairing: dark!andy barber x curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. angst angst angst. mommy issues. mentions of pregnancy. allusion to thoughts of abortion (this blog is firmly pro choice btw). self loathing. everyone is just really mean to poor reader. ☹️. oh and a mention or two of mr. ransom drysale 😶 if i’m missing something important pls feel free to let me know.

words: 5.3k

notes: i’ve had this fic in my wips since july and finished since the beginning of this month, i just never posted it lol but i’m so excited to share it finally. this definitely isn’t for everyone and really was just an indulgent write but if you do read this, i hope you enjoy the angst. comments and reblogs are more than welcome and appreciated. i’d love to hear what you think. thank you for reading 🖤

The flickering light in the nearly empty emergency room was unsettling. Your mind was taunting you as you sat in the waiting area, the chair beneath you growing harder and more uncomfortable with each passing minute.

You had jinxed yourself.

Cursing your fate mere hours ago and dwelling on how horribly things were going lately, thinking it couldn’t possibly get any worse.. Of course, it could.

In all honesty, you didn’t really know why you were here. Maybe just as an excuse to try and avoid the inevitable.

Maybe it was some sick sense of guilt hanging over you..

A part of you now desperate to remember the sense of comfort you could find in her - even if only for a few moments. As hard as you’ve tried these last 24 hours, you just couldn’t seem to remember what it felt like. You started to wonder if there was really anything to remember at all. But there had to be, right? She was your mother. There had to be. And then your phone rang. You didn’t let yourself think before you told whoever was on the other end that you would be there soon. You just called an Uber and went right down. Now here you were.

Whatever it was that drove you here - fear, guilt, obligation, a need for reassurance - that maybe this all wouldn’t be so bad, it brought you to this moment. Waiting with baited breath for your name to be called, for someone to escort you to her room, to finally see the damage she had done with her refusal to help herself. You felt bad, though you knew you shouldn’t. The damage she had done to you could be seen every time you looked in the mirror.

Stare too long at your reflection and you're lost again to the darkness that has managed to follow you all your life. You felt hollow a lot of the time, but the more apt word would be numb. Because you weren’t hollow by any means. No, you were full to the brim with hurt and anger and despair. You didn’t like feeling that. So numbness was better.

Just try to forget. Don’t let your mind sit in silence for too long. It was prone to wandering. And so were you. Maybe that’s why you were in the position you were now. You could never let yourself be content. Always searching, always reaching for something more. Something that could finally make you feel. Force you to feel. You just didn’t realize that it would lead you to him. That anyone could ever make you feel as much as he did. That you could ever feel like this.

The flickering of the light was bad, but the seemingly deafening silence was worse.

Until it wasn’t.

The entrance door slid open and you vaguely heard the footfall of whoever had just entered approaching behind you while the chilling breeze from outside came rushing in with them.

The shadow loomed over you and you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. The creaking of the old chair as he sat directly behind you was irksome, as was his unwanted presence. Maybe if you just pretended he wasn’t there, you wouldn’t have to deal with him right now. Maybe he’d just go away for tonight. Maybe he’d be kind enough to leave you alone.

You could have scoffed out loud at yourself.

Kindness wasn’t really his thing. Not lately. And if you’d learned anything these past six months it was that the times you most wished he’d leave you be, were the times he was sure not to.

Waiting for him to move or speak or to do something, anything at all, was even more frustrating and did nothing to help settle the anxiety that was already turning your stomach. You couldn’t take the silence a moment longer. You spoke with your back to him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been calling you all night,” he responded without answering your question. You could hear the edge in his tone and it only served to piss you off. He had the audacity to be upset when he knew what was going on. You weren’t stupid enough to just not show up when he expected you at his place, you texted him and told him where you’d be and why. It wasn’t like you were hiding from him. At least not in a way he could prove.

“Yeah, well, I've been a little preoccupied.” you said harshly. Biting your lip as you instantly regretted your tone. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but you couldn’t deal with the repercussions you’d get for it from him right now. You were already on the verge of breaking completely.

“Sweetheart,” he leaned forward in his chair as he spoke, voice hard, getting even closer to you as if his presence wasn’t already all together suffocating.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I’m sorry, I just- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. I’ve been waiting since I texted you. They won’t let me back there.”

Truthfully, you were more upset about the news you’d gotten yesterday than you were about the wait - you weren’t even really sure you wanted to go back there. Their ignorance of you was more helpful than you were sure they realized. You couldn't be accused of not showing up, it’s not like it was your fault they never got to you. You were still there.

You didn’t speak that aloud though, and he wouldn’t have given you any time to if you’d wanted.

He clicked his tongue and got up without saying a word and walked to the receptionist. You watched as they spoke, his charm shining through as the young woman was in complete admiration at the man before her. If only she knew the real him. If only anyone knew what he was really like. But no. He saved his true self for you and you alone.

The shrill laughter of the woman pierced your ears as Andy smiled, charming oozing off of him. You were reminded of the first time you met him. How easily you had fallen for his act, much the same way. Laughing shyly at his compliments and smiling softly at that same smirk you now dread. The one that haunts your dreams at night after he finally grants you some peace. He’d taken over everything. Every aspect of your life. All of you.

He didn’t care. Not really. Not about the situation. Not even truly about you. He could pretend all he liked, but you knew the truth, whether he accepted it or not.

He didn’t care, he just wanted people to believe he did. That’s what it felt like. And damn did they believe. You had, too. Until you got too close. Finally saw him drop the facade.

Sometimes you could convince yourself it was better this way. To really know him, to know the truth. It helped you not feel so much like a fool anymore. And the way you saw people react to him, falling for every kind smile and caring word, that helped too. You couldn’t blame yourself, he was just so damn good at hiding it.

The woman behind the desk pressed a button and the door leading further into the hospital buzzed open. Andy smiled at her again, giving her a soft ‘thank you’.

He stood at the door, looking at you while holding it open, waiting for you to get up. You stared blankly a moment, your body not wanting to move. This was stupid. Seeing her wouldn’t change anything. It’d do no good for either of you. In fact, it’d probably just send you spiraling even further. You never should have come here in the first place. Never should have answered the phone to begin with. You had bigger problems to worry about. This was too much. It was all too much. Maybe you could visit her after she got home, but you couldn’t do this, especially not right now. Your heart was starting to race and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You opened your mouth slightly, wanting to speak but no words would come out. You vaguely heard Andy call your name, but didn’t respond to it, not until he loudly cleared his throat and broke through your trance. You looked at him immediately, his annoyance clear in what used to be such kind eyes. You couldn’t find the softness or warmth you did before. Only harsh blue staring a hole through you. You forced your body to move, albeit slowly, standing up and walking toward him. When you were close enough and he was sure no one was watching, he gripped your arm tight and pulled you through the threshold of the door. You stumbled forward, gasping slightly, and tried to pull your arm away, grimacing as his grip was too tight. You looked up at him, pleading without words, eyes begging him to relent. Instead of just letting go of you, he threw your arm away from him and out of his hold. Another needless aggression.

“Stop acting so goddamn catatonic,” he snarled.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” you murmured. “I can’t do this,” you breathed as you tried to move past him, back through the door you’d just entered through.

“Now you want to leave? The second I get you back here? You’re that fucking stubborn. You won’t let me do any nice thing for you, you just like when I’m mean to you, is that it?”

“Andy, please,” you tried to calm him. “It’s not you, I just, I can’t do this, okay. I can’t see her. Please. Let’s just go, I’ll go with you, alright? Wherever you wanted to go tonight, let’s go,” you pleaded. You really couldn’t fathom having to face her. Now that you were so close, you just couldn’t do it. Hell, you were begging the man you’d been trying to keep away from to take you anywhere else, you were that desperate to avoid this reunion.

Your head was down now, staring at his solid chest as he continued to keep you blocked from the door. You felt his hand come up, moving some of your hair out of your face. His touch, deceptively gentle. He moved to tilt your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“You are leaving with me, you already know that. But we’re not going anywhere until I say we are. You’re gonna be a big girl,” he said, voice dripping with condescension as he gripped your chin painfully, “and do what you came here to do. You can’t run from your fears forever.”

You felt tears welling in your eyes but you fought them back with everything you had.

I hate you I hate you I hate you.

That was all that was running through your head as you blinked away the tears threatening to spill. He didn’t deserve your tears. Neither of them did.

You backed away, lips in a tight line and eyes hard.

A nurse was passing by as you did and Andy was quick to put on a show.

He grabbed your hand gently and it took everything in you not to rip it away. He pulled you back closer and wrapped his arms around you, burying your face in his chest. “It’s alright, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be okay,” he spoke softly. You couldn’t see his face, so you didn’t know for sure, but you would have bet money he smiled at the nurse as they passed by. Another phony display of comfort.

You weren’t even sure he realized why he was doing it, or how hollow of a gesture it was. You wondered if he really was that deluded that he could think this was a sincere intimate moment between the two of you. His heavy hand was rubbing your back in an attempt to be soothing, and seemed to confirm your thoughts. He turned you in his hold, your back to his chest as he ushered you in the direction of the room number he had been given.

Your feet were only moving because he was pushing you forward. You didn’t know what room you were going to, but when Andy stopped in front of a cracked door, you figured that must be it. You swallowed hard, turning to face him again. Having to see her on your own was enough to leave you feeling sick, but with the news you got yesterday still weighing on you and Andy hovering so close, you felt nearly immobile. The more you thought about what was about to happen, the more anxious you got. You started to think about the last time you’d had to introduce your mother to the person you were seeing. It went horribly, even he agreed. And Ransom had a pretty low bar set for family as it was. Not that he had any room to judge.. Thinking about him and everything that had gone down those few years ago gave you chills even now. How the hell did you constantly end up in these convoluted, fucked up relationships. You worried it said more about you than it did any of them.

“You, you can’t go in,” you said, shaking your head as you avoided eye contact. “She’ll…it’ll be a whole thing,” you tried to explain.

“She doesn’t know about me?” he sniffed.

“I haven’t seen her in over a year,”

“You don’t call?” You cringed at his tone. Accusatory, like he always was, already putting the blame for the rift you had with your mother on you without knowing any of the details. You swallowed the renewed lump forming in your throat and took a stabilizing breath before you responded.

“It’s been a while,” you choked, your voice thick and throat tight.

“Well I can introduce myself just fine,”

You moved to block him from entering the door, earning a stern glare in response.

“I’m only going to say this once,” he seethed. “Move.”

“Let me just talk to her first,” you refused.

His jaw ticked as he stared down at you, eyes narrowed. He huffed, agitated. You thought for a second he was going to listen, but you should have known better. He took a step closer, bending down and grabbing your face in his large hands.

“You’re gonna remember this exact moment later tonight. And you’re gonna regret it.”

His voice was calm, his eyes sure - and you believed him. Your shoulders sagged as you deflated. You weren’t gonna win this one. He brushed past you and entered the room with a knock on the door as he pushed it open. His previous irritation was quickly replaced by his mask of goodheartedness.

You heard her before you saw her, the lilt of her voice paralyzing you.

Suddenly you were a kid all over again, teary eyed and broken hearted at the words that spilled from her lips as she held up clothes to you in the department store, vicious in meaning but so gentle in her delivery. If you didn’t pay attention to the words, you could convince yourself she was reassuring you instead of tearing you apart. That’s what it looked like to passersby, you were sure. The unadulterated spite and barely concealed hatred was saved for you behind closed doors. Living under her roof was your own personal hell and once you got out from under her thumb, you refused to settle back down anywhere. Never believing you were secure, wanted. You just kept searching for what you were longing for, never accepting when you’d found it, or just too scared to stay. Always wandering to the next. You couldn't stay too long or they'd grow to despise you, too.

Who would have thought you'd find yourself trapped again after all these years, all the time you spent desperate to avoid it. It was almost comical. It had to be cosmic. It was like you ran right into him. You wanted to know what you had done in your past life to have cursed yourself to such a fate in this one. How did they keep finding you and what had you done to deserve it? Another devil holding you down. You should have seen it coming. Maybe you did. Maybe it just felt so familiar, the only love you knew as a kid. Anything else you'd received felt like a joke, like you didn't deserve it. Or maybe it was even simpler than that. Maybe you were just tired of trying to outrun fate.

The people you found yourself closest to were always the wolves in sheep’s clothing. Seeming so gentle and loving from the outside, but ready to tear you apart the second they get you alone. Exposed. Vulnerable.

Maybe you did deserve this. The second you started to believe things were finally going right for you, that maybe you could finally be happy, that seeming reality was shattered for you by the very hands you thought were helping put you back together after spending so much of your life feeling absolutely broken.

You didn’t really hear the words they were exchanging as you walked into the room after a moment, taking a heavy breath. When you finally focused in, you heard the end of their brief introductions.

“There’s my daughter,” she announced as you approached. “Look at you,” she intoned, looking you up and down before landing on your face. “You’re all done up. Got all your makeup on.”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest uncomfortably as you took a breath, looking away from her. You could hear the judgment clear as day laced in her words.

“It looks pretty,” she tried to compliment when you looked to her, face solemn. “I wish I could do my makeup like that,” she said smiling.

“Thanks, mom,” you replied, taking a step further into the room. You could feel Andy’s gaze on you, watching you intently, waiting for you to make your way to him, you were sure. “...How are you?”

You felt stupid for even asking, but you didn’t really know what else to say.

“Oh, ya know,” she tried to play off. “I’m fine, honey, I’m fine,” she assured you when you looked at her with a slightly raised brow. She took a breath. “I haven’t seen you in over a year. Haven’t heard from you nearly at all, either, I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah. Sorry,” you said, feeling guilty.

“Hey, that’s life, though. Gets hard. Trust me, I know,” she said before she considered you a moment. With just the tilt of her head you knew she was about to say something provocative. “You look so different…. A lot can change in over a year, though, right?” she continued, looking over to Andy deliberately.

“Uhm. Mom, this is Andy Barber. Andy, my mother,” you introduced them only out of obligation. Manners were important to both of them. Something else they had in common.

“So he told me,” she smiled. “I’m assuming you’re… dating?” You swallowed hard as you looked at her before looking to Andy.

“Six months now,” he responded for you, walking to where you were still standing, smiling softly as he put his arm around you. It was deceptively sweet, comforting. You almost wanted to let yourself relax into him, use him as a shield against the vitrole you knew would be coming eventually.

“Six months? Wow. That must be a record for you, right?” she baited you with a laugh. You didn’t respond, just looked down to the one teal tile on the floor amongst the sea of white. You could feel her eyes on you before she realized she wouldn’t be getting a response, turning her attention to Andy instead.

“So, what do you do for work?” she prodded.

“I’m an assistant DA,” he answered her.

“A lawyer?” your mother said, shocked evident in her voice as she looked at you. “Well, better make sure this one lasts,'' she told you. “And if it does last, you’d better get a prenup,” she laughed again as she nodded to Andy.

You stiffened as Andy did beside you and bit your cheek, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed. She noticed your face and her scoff made your stomach turn. You looked up to see her rolling her eyes as she looked away like she was exhausted by you already. “You just always have to have an attitude don’t you?” she said almost under her breath, frustrated. “Why are you so sensitive? You’re an adult. Stop taking things so personally. Lighten up, grow some skin. I’m trying to have a conversation and it's like everything I say you have an issue with.

God, y/n, ya know, why are you even here? To make me feel worse? Remind me how much of a fuck up mother I am?” You knew it was coming. It always did. And yet you were still jostled by her flip. You felt Andy’s hand squeeze your waist as you unconsciously backed further into him, pressing closer to his side like a frightened puppy trying to hide yourself.

“Mom, I didn’t say anyt-”

“Why are you here?” she enunciated each word loudly, interrupting and talking over you.

“They called when they brought you in. I’m your emergency contact, remember?”

“Remember? Don’t talk to me like I’m senile.” she nearly sneered.

You bite your tongue and cursed yourself for feeling tears well up already.

“Yeah, that’s great. Bring out the waterworks. Put on a show, make me the bad guy. It’s always me, right? It’s always my fault,” she continued. “What do you have to cry for? I’m the one who was abandoned by you. You show up after over a year of rejecting my calls and one word text responses, what to make yourself feel better? Where were you when I needed you, huh?” she questioned, words like knives in your heart. You felt so small under her angry gaze. You felt like the worst person in the world. You felt like a child. A weak, scared, sorry child.

“Andy was it?” she asked, pulling her eyes from you as she turned them to Andy.

“Mr. Barber is fine,” he corrected, voice hard and defensive.

“Well, Mr. Barber,” she mimicked, “I’m sorry you have to see this, but let me just warn you. If I know my daughter, I know she's not much for sticking around. She’ll run as soon as she gets the chance. She’s like her father that way. The second she gets tired of you. The second you can’t offer her anything anymore,” the bitterness was dripping from her every word, “she’ll be gone.”

You gulped down the lump in your throat and squeezed your own hand to try and keep yourself calm.

“If you don’t believe me, just ask her ex. He’ll tell you the same thing,” she said.

“What are you talking about?” you said dumbfounded and exasperated.

“What do you think I’m talking about? Ransom,” she said as if it was obvious. The mention of his name had you frozen. “The second you found out he was written out of that will, you left him like it was nothing.”

“Are you serious? You’re gonna bring that up right now? He went to prison for murder, mom!” you raged. “And you know what, my relationships are none of your business,” you seethed.

“You slept with him for his money, you and I both know it. Just because it turned into something more after doesn’t change the way it started.”

“That’s not true,” you whispered angrily.

“I don’t believe you,” she told you, voice eerily level as tears renewed in your eyes.

“What is wrong with you?” you asked, voice breaking as Andy pulled you behind him.

“That’s enough. It’s clear this was a bad idea,” he stated, making you want to scream. As if you hadn’t told him as much before he forced you in here. You turned to the side as you held your head in your hands, trying to regain your composure.

“Oh my god,” your mother breathed as she took in your side profile for the first time. Her voice was full of worry and your head shot over to her immediately in response to your name being spoken in near reprimand. “Are...are you pregnant?” she asked out of nowhere.

“What?” you breathed.

“Your stomach looks bigger. Like there’s a bump there. It’s been a year but I know what you look like when you put on weight,” she started, eyes locked on your tummy. “And I know what baby weight looks like.. Yo-you’re pregnant aren’t you?” she asked again. She sounded..scared.

You were looking at her, confounded as Andy turned to you, looking much the same. He eyed you up and down before you felt his gaze settle on your stomach. Your hands came up to your lower belly self consciously.. Or maybe it was protectively.

You didn’t know how she knew. You’d only just found out yourself. You didn’t think you were showing noticeably in the slightest. Your periods were always irregular. Skipping cycles wasn’t anything you would think twice about. You were on the pill. You thought maybe you were just more bloated lately. Gaining weight wasn’t anything new for you, either. You didn’t piece any of it together right away. You had no reason to. You were protected. Or so you thought. And you had zero plans of informing Andy of the news. Not yet. You were still trying to process it. You couldn’t be a mother. You couldn’t become your mother. But what were you supposed to do? You could deny it easily enough, put the conversation off, but you knew Andy wouldn’t let it go. He’d want a test to know for sure either way. He’d find out the truth. You were planning to make your appointment next week to find out how far along you were. See if you had any options left.

“Are you pregnant?” Andy asked softly, walking closer to you.

Your mouth was dry. You didn’t want to answer him, but you knew you’d have to. You licked your lips before you spoke.

“I don’t- I- I think.. maybe,” you breathed, words fumbling while you were avoiding eye contact with both of them.

Your attention was caught by your mother lamenting your nickname, pained and sorrowful. “Don’t do this to yourself,” she pleaded. “You’re so young, you’re not ready to be a mother. You-”

“All due respect,” Andy snapped, “- which is near none,” he added, sneering as he turned on your mother while you watched in sudden shock, mouth slightly agape while your mind spun, “you have absolutely no say here. In fact, it’s none of your business. This is a private matter between your daughter and I - no one else. But if you really want to worry about anyone’s ability to mother, I’d focus on yourself first. You’ve done a real bang up job so far,” he said sarcastically.

“Andy,” you reproached, walking quietly to him, wanting to calm things before they got worse.

“We’re leaving,” he said to you while sending daggers to your mother who looked at you with tears in her eyes, “You never should have come here.”

You looked at your mom, discontent clear on your face.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” she said, voice cracking. You had to look away before your own tears started to fall, lip wobbling. You weren’t sure what she was apologizing for, but it was the first time you ever heard her say those words sincerely. And it broke your heart. Andy grabbed your hand in his as he pulled you to the door and out of the room. The second you were past the door, you immediately broke down in tears. Everything hitting you all at once. Suddenly you were gasping for air as you felt like your legs were about to give out beneath you. Andy’s arms wrapped around you, turning you to pull you into his chest, his strength keeping you up as you leaned fully into him. One hand was holding your head while the other was wrapped around you, rubbing your back as you cried. He placed a kiss atop your head while he hushed you quietly, both of you standing in the empty hospital hallway.

You caught your breath after a minute and let yourself believe he was holding you so gently because he really cared. Because he was sorry for not listening to you. Because he wanted you to feel better, to comfort you. Whether it was true or not, it helped. Slowly you pulled away from him, and his hand came up to brush the tears off your puffy cheeks.

“How far along are you?”

“I really don’t know,” you said honestly. “If I had to guess, at least ten weeks,”

“How long have you known?” he asked quietly, thumb still stroking your cheek.

You looked at him doe eyed, lips set in a small pout. You opened your mouth to speak before he cut you off,

“I’m gonna tell you right now, don’t lie to me,” he warned, an ocean storm brewing in his normally brilliant blue eyes as he forced you to look him in the eye.

“Since yesterday,” you murmured. “I swear.”

He nodded slightly then took you by surprise, pulling you closer for a slow and deep kiss. Your brows were furrowed as he pulled away to allow you both a breath.

“You should have told me right when you found out,” he reproached.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed. “I was still trying to wrap my head around it. I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I don’t know how this even happened,” you confessed. But Andy knew.

He’d been switching out your birth control for nearly four months now and had long since stopped wearing condoms with you, though that you were aware of. He didn’t think it was important to tell you about the swap he’d made with your pills, so he decided to keep that to himself. No need to get you worked up again. Especially now that he knew you finally were pregnant. He’d have to figure out a way to keep you as stress free as possible. Keeping you home would be easy enough, he basically had you living with him already, but he’d have to make that change slowly, you would surely resist his attempts to keep you at home if he made it too obvious.

He found your mother’s warning funny, though. As if you’d ever be able to run from him. You’d tried, but he was always two steps ahead. You didn’t go anywhere without him knowing, whether you knew that or not. You were his now. You had been since the day he first laid eyes on you. You weren’t going anywhere. As he thought about the changes he’d have to make now that you were pregnant, he remembered the punishment he’d given you a few nights ago. It reminded him you had another one coming tonight, too. He’d have to go about them differently now, though. As much as he loved discipling you, his tactics would have to change, he’d need to be even more careful with you. And more lenient, he realized. He loved your responses to spankings, but he was looking forward to changing your punishments up with edging or overstimulation now instead. Either way, he was sure to make you cry. Make sure you’d learn your lessons. And he’d get started tonight. You brought out the darkness in him, but you brought the softness out, too. He wanted to remind you how good things could be. There was just one more thing bugging him at the moment that he’d have to let out.

“Come on,” he instructed. “I parked in the garage.”

You walked with him to the entrance before he led the way to his car.

He opened the door for you and helped you in before he went around and got in himself. He sighed heavily as you sat in silence for a moment before he turned to you.

“Who the fuck is Ransom?”

648 notes · View notes

abysswalkersknight · 5 months

Text

Angsty story time just like I said! This one took a bit of time to think about because I was trying to match it with the other one and used my other fic as bit of a reference. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go write something fluffy and funny before I cry myself a river. Please enjoy.

...........................

This blessing truly was a curse.

Another wave of heaviness overwhelms Silver’s entire being, causing him to stagger against the gigantic, rusted door. Almost there, a voice whispers in his ear, almost there.

There wasn’t much time. He had been travelling on foot for a few days now, having snuck out of Night Raven after making sure that everyone was alright and resting. He had gathered all his meagre possessions from his dorm room and set fire to them, watching as the smoke and ashes rose up into the cool, starry sky, no one will miss them anyways. The only thing that was spared from the flames was the small photograph from Silver’s birthday where everyone wore pleasant happy smiles, back when everything was normal. He couldn’t bear to part with it so he carefully pocketed it in an old coat he brought from home.

Home. What does that mean to him now? Home was wherever his father was, and now that was gone too. Lost to the sands of time and revelation.

Almost there.

The castle was decrepit and in ruins, but there was a melancholic beauty among the briar thorns that draped over the whole crumbling structure, threading through old looming towers and snaking through rotted doors and windows. Elegant it was, for an ancient tomb made for a forgotten kingdom.

Silver groaned as another wave of exhaustion hit him, it was getting worse, this was different from all the other spells, it was heavy and unrelenting, weighing him down like a prisoner with a ball and chain. It had started when everyone had tended to the aftermath of Malleus’s overblot, while everyone shed tears of relief and embraced each other Silver felt a sharp pang in his chest, his eyelids began to sag and his head languidly swayed. Before him was the sweet sight of his family in a tight pile sharing heartfelt whispers and cheers, suddenly he grew to be very tired. Silver was so happy for them, finally he got to see his prince and father genuinely smile once again, but this time the pang he felt before returns with another kick. Harder this time. So hard that he thought he could feel something split inside him, slowly spreading into what would later become a fragile web of cracks just waiting to shatter. By then he had left before anyone had noticed, slipping out of the room to what he believed was his final walk to the gallows.

He recalled visiting his father before he left. The poor fae was utterly exhausted and hadn’t even stirred as the moon’s light flooded the room through the crack of his door, Silver slowly crept up to the edge of his father’s bed, watching the level rise and fall of his chest as his gaze shifted to the peaceful expression on Lilia’s face, it was the most peaceful Silver’s seen him for quite some time. If Lilia were to wake up right now he might’ve startled at the close proximity his son’s face was to his, just watching intently while resting his drowsy head on top of his arms, expression blank as it had always been. How did he do it? After all the suffering he’s had to endure all these centuries, how did Lilia still find it in himself to love and care for the offspring of his enemy, the enemy who's stripped him of everything.

Silver sighed deeply, his head lolled against the cool stone of the castle, his thoughts were flailing from his grasp while his vision blurred at the edges, how much longer… how much longer. He was so tired, this was worse than the exhaustion he felt carrying the general up the forbidden mountains or the cold, cold magic that seeped into his joints. Silver clumsily waves off some birds, fluttering about in their worry when he refuses to speak to them, so tired, it didn’t matter. It was no use clinging to something worth nothing.

As he was leaving father’s room, he did not expect to hear a voice weak with sleepiness calling out to him ‘Silver?’ Lilia’s voice rang out ‘my dear, what are you doing out? You should be in bed little one’ Silver turned from his place at the door to see Lilia lifting himself upright, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. Once again Silver was a small child, silently praying for his papa to wake up and soothe him after the throes of a dreadful nightmare, he stalls, unsure of what to do, fortunately Lilia beats him to it ‘couldn’t sleep could you? That’ll be a first, but I’m not surprised,’ he yawns widely, ‘come here little one’ he says, patting the bed. When Silver doesn’t budge he pats it more insistently ‘well, come on!’ Silver twitches hesitantly, he’d want nothing more than to run and snuggle into his father’s arms just like how he did as a child, but due to what he’s devised and done it felt rather cruel, in the end though Silver gave in. However, as father’s arms eagerly wrapped around his shoulders the drowsiness he felt in the lounge returned tenfold, making him slump further into Lilia’s chest. Unaware of what was truly happening Lilia coos, thinking that his son simply needed some company to help lull him to sleep, not that he could blame him, the past few days have been quite the eye opener for his boys, and not the pleasant kind.

‘I’m so sorry you had to endure all of that my love’ Lilia murmurs as he buries his face in silver locks ‘it must have been terrifying for you all’ he then lays back down, bringing Silver down with him ‘yes, but I’m just glad that you and Lord Malleus are safe’ he whispers back, letting Lilia press a loving kiss to his forehead ‘oh my darling, who could have ever raised such a wonderful boy? Oh yes, it was me!’

Normally the boy would relish in his father’s doting affections, hands combing through his hair and massaging his scalp, his warm body curled around his under the blankets, it was the perfect way to fall asleep. But all it does now is widen the gaping hole in his chest, rendering him numb to the bone. Please, why?

It should be Malleus here in father’s warm embrace, not him.

Malleus, the prince who had lost everything before he was even born, the prince who had been denied a family by those who sought power, the prince who had been denied his rightful father. I’m so sorry.

No, Silver was not jealous in the slightest, the void within him did not bay for anyone’s downfall. Only his.

Had it not been for his birth family Malleus would still have his parents, perhaps even his freedom, and Lilia would still have his beloved friends, his reasons for living. And now thanks to Silver’s selfish desires he had helped trigger Malleus’s overblot and thus this whole mess.

And it tore at Silver to know that, despite all of these transgressions, Lilia still found it in himself to love him. It was with these thoughts stewing in his head that he carefully crawled out from the blissful warmth once he was certain his father had fallen back asleep, slipping out of the dorm just as a certain prince came to check on him, only to find that the window had been left open, curtains fluttering as the moon leaked through, illuminating a room that was dreadfully cold and devoid of everything.

Silver wasn’t even meant to be here, hadn’t the great fairies blessed him with a prolonged slumber, he would merely be another fading memory of a kingdom lost to time, a distant fragment in the history textbooks if he was lucky. Which was partly why he was here now, back to the castle where Lilia had found him, and the place where Princess Malenoa was slain, if he were in the right state of mind Silver would have spent a moment savouring the desolate beauty of the whole place. But alas, it seemed that his body recognised its home of the last four hundred years, and a familiar sense of fatigue clawed at his legs. But the voice in the back of his head urged him to walk further, almost there almost there.

After all, there was a reason why Silver was here.

He wanted his family to be happy, and it seems to ensure that, the blood stained slate must be wiped clean. And while there was no way he could disband the senate, the least Silver could do was make sure that nothing from his forgotten home harmed anyone ever again, including himself. Everything here must remain buried, for the sake of everyone. Everything from that tragedy will die here with him, his bloodline and existence will be naught but a distant memory.

The great fairies magic seemed to agree with him as with every ladened step he takes, the harder it was for him to move. Just a little more…

In the background, he heard a frantic volley of chirps and squeaks. What is it this time? It takes a momentous effort to lift his hooded eyes to see a pair of dark wings flapping and tugging at his hair. Oh, it was one of Father’s familiars, the one who took charge whenever Malleus or the Zigvolts babysat him. The bat squeaked with desperation, even digging its tiny claws into his shoulder in a pitiful attempt to either wake him up or drag him away he was not sure, all he knew was that any and all entrances had been sealed to prevent anyone from breaking in, but it seemed that the wildlife were still granted entry ‘leave me’ he tells his old caretaker, his voice slurry and barely above a whisper.

The old bat chirps back, refusing to let go as if it knew what was happening. It's possible that it does, the bat was nearly as old as Lilia, its borne witness to his family's atrocities, seen what they have done so why was it pulling at him so? It was the head of its colony, it knew as a leader that sometimes one thing must be sacrificed for the good of many others. Why didn’t it understand that this is what needs to be done? It was for the benefit of its master for goodness sake! ‘please. Leave me alone, return to Lilia’ it hurt him to insult his father like this, he could almost hear Sebek cutting into him at such blatant disrespect. I’m sorry, Father.

The bat’s urgent squealing escalates into a borderline wailing as Silver stumbles forward, crawling up the steps leading to the desecrated throne, and the empty cradle right next to it. I’m…tired. The further he climbed, the deeper he sank, down, down into the darkness, the sweet promise of rest right at his fingertips. The bat faded off into the distance, all sense of feeling in his limbs fell away, all he could see was that small cradle.

Why did I wake up?

Every resounding step echoed throughout the empty halls.

Why did you take me in?

His legs buckle underneath him, his face crashing into the harsh stone.

It hurts. I’m scared.

He was terrified, there was no stopping this, this exhaustion. Weak fingers drag his body closer.

Father, he wanted Father!

Why would he come? There was nothing here for him, he didn’t deserve father.

It was so cold, where was father? He’s warm.

In the fading light, a hand reaches out for the cradle, almost there.

Fa…ther…

Darkness swallows him whole.

#knight's writing #silver twst #twst #I both wither and feast upon this misery #most of the time on this was spent fighting with crappy internet #poor baby Silver when will you accept everyone's love?

63 notes · View notes

ilyuu · 8 months

Text

right where you left me.

synopsis : it takes years to build up feelings and memories that means the world to you and him, and it all takes one evening for it to break down and leave nothing but time standing still and a relationship that could've been. (or you recall the night you broke up with kazuha, thinking it all over again.)

tags : angst/no comfort, modern!au, childhood friends to lovers to strangers, mentions of getting high, light swearing, ambiguous ending.

wc : 2500+! (2635.)

a/n : and yes this is all based off of taylor swift’s right where you left me from perse!! along with that, please do excuse any grammar and formatting mistakes

for the saudade event by the all amazing and angsty creative @soleillunne! the first half is written by the wielder of cat pics, @https-furina, and the second half from yours truly. ready your tissues because in spite of the beautiful and vivid wording from verse, it hurts (in a good way, of course)! nonetheless, i hope you'd enjoy this as much as i did! <3

also, perse, thank you; i had so much fun writing this! the possibilities were endless for me, and reading your part when trying to get a feel for this story made me roll up in a corner and cry (not actually though, so don't worry about me, hehe),,

There's idle chatter and the faint clinking of cutlery and wine glasses, almost drowned out by the harsh winds and rain that batters the restaurant's dimmed windows.

The lights are soft and subdued yet hold a warmth that hugs every living being inside the building - some sheltering from the rainstorm, others rekindling with their lovers or families. That should be you, rekindling with a lover that was never yours in the first place.

To your left, you hear the gossip of two friends; a couple in their friend group recently broke up, "good riddance," one girl chirps, "she deserves better than him." The conversation promptly shifts to that of one regarding marriage and weddings. What would you have looked like on that fateful day with white veil and a glittering ring on your finger, the thought makes you grimace.

"What a sad sight," an elderly woman whispers to her husband from where they're settling at a table not too far away, she's gazing at you with a sorrowful look, "poor girl."

The words shift a small crack of a smile onto your face - is that truly how you looked to the unknowing bystanders around you? Did they think you'd been stood up on a first date?

If only.

The more you stare at the empty, red crushed velvet chair in front of you, the more the realisation starts to hit even harder than before that he isn't going to magically turn up, dressed ever so handsomely in smart casual attire with his silver hair in its usual messy ponytail.

You hadn't seen his face since that night, how pained he seemed as he watched you smash the empty wine glass adorning your table, his eyes trained on the way it shatters into a million pieces on the white cloth. It was almost a perfect metaphor for your heart at that exact moment.

"You know we're here because we need to talk, right?" His voice is familiar, nostalgic almost as he places his blazer over the back of his chair. He hasn't changed since you were children, sneaking after school to the nearest McDonalds until your curfew, "y/n.."

"Do we have to talk?" You respond quickly with a sharp tongue, your hands shaking as you find anything to do with them, this even includes unfolding and folding the napkin in front of you repeatedly. Conversations are whispered all around you, some followed by short laughter.

Kazuha almost winces at the tone of your voice but he knows it's deserved. You had been friends since you could remember, joined at the hip no matter what happened. Your mothers always commented that you were inseparable, never found without the other close behind - so how did it come to this?

It came to this because you had became attached, craving his presence at all times even as you went to university. You wanted him and nobody else could even remotely compete with the man that Kaedehara Kazuha had grown into somehow from that clumsy toddler you'd wrapped around your chubby fingers all those years ago.

For a while, the rebellious teen thought the exact same about you. He would ponder over the hours the two of you spent together in his dorm room, sharing a joint as you forget the stress of the exam season you'd just barely managed to survive.

He would reflect on the nights he'd carry you on his back, taking you back to your dorm after an exceptionally rough night clubbing with your friend group, who always roped you into unbelievable scenarios.

He had expressed his concerns over your friend group more than once but you had shrugged him off, flashing him that playful smile he couldn't get enough of. "It's fine, Kaz," you reassure him as you apply a layer of mascara to your eyelashes, "we only live once, right?" When you'd responded with that, Kazuha initially thought 'yeah, we do.'

Nights under star scattered skies sharing joints would only last so long, after all Kazuha was at university to study business management, the heir to his father's publishing company. With this future responsibility came the family reputation and the eventual arranged marriage to another rich family - that was a criteria that you had never fit in and pre-emptively, you never would.

"You know it's not my decision, y/n," His voice is almost breaking when he takes the seat in front of you, clammy hands clasped together in front of him on the clothed table. You scowl a little, it had never been his choice, had it? "we should seen this coming."

"We?" You repeat, narrowing your eyes at him, "you - you should have seen this coming."

Kazuha lets out an exasperated sigh, closing his eyes for a moment as he listens to the bustle of the restaurant around the pair of you. He starts to consider that a restaurant was not the best location to be having a lover's quarrel.

When he reopens his eyes, they fall to you across the table. Your eyes are glittering like the chandelier that hangs from the ceiling in the centre of the room and he can almost make out the tears starting to pool in the corners of your eyes.

"I never wanted to hurt you, you know that, right?" For some reason, those words hurt your heart more than he most likely intended.

They feel like knives, sharpened daggers that plunge deep into your most fatal organ and tear it apart in ways that Kazuha would never be able to grasp. In that moment, you nearly wish that you could inflict this kind of pain on him so he could feel how your heart ached at that exact time or how the tears stung at your eyes, blurring your vision to the point where you could barely make his figure out.

Even with a singular tear running its uneven path down your cheek, you find the chance to smile, turning your gaze away from him as you let out a soft, pained laugh.

"If that's true, you should have known it would have hurt less for you to have turned me down instead of giving me a chance like you did." Your words bite at Kazuha more than you would ever know.

He hides the way his nails press into his skin, digging into it so hard they leave red, crescent moon marks and almost draw blood. Kazuha chews down on his tongue, the metallic taste of his blood flooding his mouth when he conveniently suddenly finds it hard to swallow, leaving him to succumb to the consequences of his own actions.

His mouth is dry when he opens his mouth to speak but words don't come out, just a simple exhale as he processes the back and forth argument that will continue for the rest of the night, "I've met her already."

"And? Is she nice?" You reply shortly, holding your tongue. There are thoughts running through your mind, hundreds in tens of seconds that you can't even grasp yourself. His family was wasting no time in selling this marriage to the media, gaining that social coverage they crave as socialites.

Kazuha lets out a small hum as if the energy had suddenly shifted back to normal between you.

"She's alright," Kazuha starts and you part your lips to speak, quick witted and sharp but Kazuha holds a hand up, silencing you before he continues, "but she isn't you."

"No, you don't get to get to pull that shit now, Kazuha," you laugh, it's bittersweet and causes Kazuha to visibly wince, "you damn well don't get to say shit like that anymore."

Kazuha's ruby eyes fall to how you are gripping an empty wine glass on the table, one that was supposed to be filled with a dark red liquid by now, its fruity taste becoming bitter on your tongues.

You have every right to be angry with him and Kazuha is drowned in remorse when he catches your knuckles turning white before the stem of the wine glass cracks in your palm, dropping the bowl of the glass onto the white cloth decorating the table as it shatters into sharp, broken shards.

The visual of glass breaking causes you to blink quickly, suddenly back to reality as you realise you're gripping at your phone in your hand with almost the same strength you'd put into the wine glass that night. Your muscles relax, leaning forward on the table as you rest your head in your hands.

It’s time to go.

So? There’s nothing much you can do now, and as much as it leaves such a bittersweet taste on your tongue that you can’t bother to swallow at all, it’s as much as the truth. Not as if some miracle can fly across the sky and everything will end in a happily ever after like in a fairytale. To rely on that, really, is desperation (is it really?) as its finest. Or maybe that’s your feelings talking. Maybe that’s just the lifetime worth of memories you held with him, sweeter and lighter than this entire evening has been, that’s making you want to hold onto that thin, fragile string of hope that means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

You feel your chest ache, a familiar feeling lately that you’d rather disappear, fade, or just… vanish. Really. Just anything to make this go away; it’s more of a reminder than anything that makes it twinge whenever you run through that night in your head too many times to count, each small detail almost nothing, a blur, when all you see is the way Kazuha looked at you. Pained? Helpless? A combination of something you couldn’t pin on in the midst of your own heated thoughts?

You wipe the corner of your eyes with each hand, your warm palms something of a comfort. Not the time.

A moonless night bears witness to the two of you lying atop of the roof of your apartment complex, years felt like days, from your school days, with how clear the memory of Kazuha looking over to you with such adoration swirling in his eyes along with the faint stars.

Your shoulders start to tremble.

The embrace of a familiar warmth wrapping around your waist, the blanket slipping onto the floor from the edge of the couch nothing compared to the comfort seeping into your skin.

Muted colors play across the two of you from the movie - it’s nothing but a backdrop anymore as you find yourself a bit more focused on his hand, your fingers wrapped in his, the pad of your thumb lightly caressing the back of his. You feel his breath, a huff, waft over your neck from that.

You try to let go of a sigh. It only comes out as a broken whimper.

His lips shifting against yours, soft, so sweet, as quiet sounds are shared between two of you. His shallow sighs of your name dripping with every nights’ worth of what ifs, every waking days’ worth of thoughts that crossed and blurred a line between friends and something more.

A chance, a hope, a dream - all of it was woven into the few words Kazuha murmured against your lips, over and over, bounding it with you in his hope that it’d make it real.

You know it all meant something to Kazuha.

Every mote of sand of time that fell within the two of you meant something to him, cherished it close and closer to his heart than anything else. You know that much. It was obvious - so obvious, too obvious - in every word he said that carried gravity and care to you, in every act he’s ever done for you for the sake of making you smile. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

He loved you. Kazuha loves you in every sense of the word. It was only that very love that led to this, as much as the two of you shared in it. This is the best for the two of you.

You know that, and he, of all people, especially knows that. It meant something to him, and so he just had to go ahead and say yes, let you into a world that was only for the two of you, and led you on until the edge of the world and into the reality you’re in now.

Do you blame him for that? For all of this? You’re not sure anymore.

Sure, of course, on that night, he knew where… this, the relationship, was going, how it was going to end. Kazuha could’ve prevented this if he hadn’t held your hand on that one day, stared into your eyes long enough for you to see that he felt the same - he instead gave you, this, a chance.

Things might’ve been better if he didn’t.

You click your tongue. Nope. Don’t think about him, or just don’t think in general - your thoughts are bound to come back to him regardless, no matter what you do. There’s no use thinking about this, no use in even giving it a second of your evening like this.

You stood up. The chatter stirs around you, aware or not, fades to the backdrop. It’s not exactly ideal to stay here, especially since you feel as though you’ll start crying at any given moment. You pick up your umbrella leaning against the leg of the chair, still dripping a bit.

In your thoughts, in your dreams, in your what ifs, yes, but this is neither of those things - this is the truth. This is your reality (how many times will you say that to yourself until you finally realize it?), and the reality is, amid soft, crackling candlelight, a gentle coat of companionship, cottony velvet rolling across the cushions, decor ivy slithering on the walls, just that - a rather pretty veil over your eyes to try and cloud the emptiness that sits with you across the table.

He’ll be alright. Of course he’ll be alright. He’s Kazuha.

You hadn’t realized you were already outside. The light jingle of the bell atop of you fades, leaving a lonely echo. The thrum of the rain felt underneath your feet, clearer than it had been inside.

There’s a heaviness in the air you can’t quite place either, or maybe that’s just all you and the feelings you can’t seem to leave behind (not that it’s easy to do so in the first place.)

For some reason, whenever it rains, you’d feel as though you can finally breathe (he’d know that). You try to smile. It’s weak, shy of breaking down, and to the point that even you don’t believe in it, but it’s a smile nonetheless; it makes you feel a bit better.

You bid goodbye to Kazuha, the thought of him.

You bid goodbye to the man you love.

You bid goodbye to the memories you know you’ll visit later whenever anything and everything reminds you of him.

Will he be happy? Will he be alright? You know you’ll find yourself thinking about this some time later, but you try to find comfort, even as thin as it is, in the idea that he’ll think of the same things you’ll be - that’ll he find that pseudo happiness in a past that’ll already be too far to reach into.

You open your umbrella, the panels springing open. The canopy you’re under trickles with rainfall, pelting said umbrella in an almost melodic symphony if you try hard enough to hear it. You take quiet pleasure in that as you walk out and into the tears.

You’ll be alright. He’ll be alright. You both will be alright.

(He doesn’t like the rain that much.)

The rain itself drowns that one out.

#saudade ; milestone #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x you #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha angst #genshin impact angst #genshin impact fanfic #genshin angst #genshin fanfic

146 notes · View notes

jobean12-blog · 2 years

Text

Hooked

Pairing: Pirate!Eddie Munson x reader

Word Count: 4,146

Summary: Eddie finds his greatest treasure and he plans on keeping it.

Author’s Note:Thank you to my lovely and sweet friends for sharing so many inspiring pieces artwork and ideas with me! This is a new AU for me but it sure was fun to write and I feel like it fits Eddie well! I hope you enjoy and thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Dividers by my love @firefly-graphics thank you darling🥰

Warnings: lots of tension, flirting, some sassy fun, teasing maybe, oral (f rec), fingering, smut (18+ ONLY PLEASE!!!)

This incredible artwork is NOT MINE: credit goes to @eddieonfilm thank you so much sweets, it’s just amazing! 😍💕

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Your sore and tired feet creep slowly toward the edge, the wood hot and splintered beneath the thin soles of your shoes and as you look out over the horizon, just before you take your last step, you’re almost sure you see a ship, the black sails billowing as the wind speeds it closer.

You give the bindings on your wrists one last tug, the rope only digging harder into your already chaffed skin and when you hear the menacing laughter of your captor you lift your head high and glance out once more at the ship that approaches, it’s flag waving wildly.

It’s the last thing you see before your eyes cloud in darkness and you feel gravity drag you downwards.

The gentle rock of the boat and the sound of lapping waves are the first sensations you take in as you languidly stretch out along the soft blankets.

Whether it’s the fact that your limbs are unbound and free or that you’re cocooned in a soft bed, you’ll never be sure, but in that moment your heart leaps into your throat and you sit up with a shrill scream.

You barely have time to take in your surroundings before the door to the cabin flies open and in a whirl of frills and dark curls you see a man bound into the small room, his brown eyes wide with concern.

When he sees that you’re unharmed he sharply exhales and a small smile graces his pink lips.

“My lady,” he murmurs, bowing with a flourish before taking a step closer. “You’re awake.”

Your hand slides over the sheets in a frantic search for your cutlass before you realize you’re in nothing but your undergarments. You quickly lift the sheet to cover yourself but your free hand continues to hunt for your sword.

“Is this what you’re looking for?”

The man lifts your blade, turning it in his hand with expert precision while admiring the hilt and guard. His long fingers are adorned with several rings, their jewels catching the setting sun and casting a dazzling light along the wood of the cabin.

“Beautiful,” he whispers, lifting his eyes to you. “Fit for a…princess.”

The way the last word rolls of his tongue and the way his gaze sweeps over you has your breath hitching. He tentatively inches closer, carefully laying the cutlass on the bed.

You watch him move away; your eyes still locked together.

“Where are my clothes?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady.

He points a ringed finger toward a heap of tattered clothing on the floor.

“Who are you?”

Your question is met with one of the same.

“Who are you?” he counters with a smirk.

When you don’t answer he throws another question your way.

“Why was Carver so intent on seeing you dead?”

You instinctively lift your chin and your eyes harden.

“Carver is a poor excuse for a human,” you spit out. “He thinks he can have whatever he wants even when it doesn’t belong to him.”

“And he wanted you,” the man says, raising his brows.

“I would sooner be drowned,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Well,” the pirate answers, sweeping down low with another bow. “You would have very well been if it weren’t for me.”

His dark curls fall in ringlets around his face and it only accentuates the soft brown color of his eyes and the way they sparkle. You check yourself, clearing your head with a firm reminder that you may be in no less danger than before.

You take your cutlass in your hand, curling your fingers and tightening your grip on the ornamental hilt.

“And may I know your name, kind sir, so I can properly thank you.”

Even with your sarcastic tone your question makes him straighten his spine and hold a fist to his chest.

“Captain Edward Munson at your service miss…?”

“How do I know you aren’t going to keep me prisoner on this ship…or worse?” you ask without answering his question.

“Do you think you’d still be alive now if I had ill intentions?” he muses. “Do you think I give all my prisoners the comfort and warmth of my very own bed?”

A soft gasp leaves your parted lips before you even realize it and your eyelashes kiss your cheeks at the memory of the warm sheets and the smell of leather and coconuts.

“I know,” he whispers. “It’s very comfortable.”

Your name leaves your lips in a breathy whisper, just loud enough for his ears. He repeats it, the sound like music to your ears.

“Thank you princess,” he croons, “and, you’re welcome.”

“I never said thank you,” you sass with a glare.

“You did last night. Several times actually before you passed out for the second time in my arms.”

He bows once more with a wink, the beads hanging from one soft strand of his hair lightly clinking as he turns and heads for the door.

He opens it but before he leaves he looks over his shoulder, his eyes warm with amusement as you continue to stare with your mouth agape.

“I’m afraid if you want a bath you’ll have to go for a swim but there are dry clothes in the chest over there and I hope you’ll join us on the main deck for a meal. It’s going to be a marvelous night.”

With that he steps out the door, leaving only the echoing sound of his voice and his lingering scent.

You fall back on the bed with a flop and a sigh, your hand still clutching the cutlass as you cover your eyes and mutter several curses. Your heart is still beating rapidly in your chest as you try to keep your mind focused on what’s important…like getting home…and not on the very sexy Captain Munson, your so-called savior.

“He’s a pirate for fucks sake!” you grumble.

The water is colder than expected and you let out a small shriek when you rise above the surface.

Captain Munon appears over the bow of the ship, his hair loose and blowing with the wind as he watches you.

“How’s the water today princess?” he asks with a wicked smile. “Colder than you’re used to?”

You scowl and refuse him an answer, sinking back below the icy water.

After a few minutes of swimming and doing your best to wash off you start to climb back up the ladder to the main deck. Your undergarments are soaked and cold, clinging to you like a second skin.

You shiver with your last step off the rung, your bare feet leaving prints along the wood of the deck as you make your way back to the captain’s quarters.

You’re not expecting company when you open the door, Captain Munson standing shirtless by his bed while he polishes his pistol.

His eyes meet yours and you can see his control wavering as you close the door, the wet material of your undergarments leaving little to the imagination.

But your expression mirrors his as you fight to keep your gaze on his face, rather than let it run down the length of his bare chest and thick thighs.

“My apologies princess. I didn’t think you’d be returning so quickly,” he says, swallowing. “I just need a moment to find my…”

His words trail off as he reluctantly turns away and searches for his shirt. Without a word you reach for the garment that lies over the chair and walk quietly toward him. When he spins on his heel he’s so close that his chest brushes yours with his intake of breath.

“Thank you,” he whispers, taking it from your shaking hands.

“You’re freezing,” he mutters, wrapping his fingers around your cold ones.

You make a feeble attempt to pull away but he can see there is no apprehension in your eyes and he holds your hands tighter, pressing them to the warmth of his chest, just over one of his tattoos. Your eyes unabashedly fall to the dark ink that cover his skin and you lick your lips.

“You should put your shirt on,” you breathe out.

“And you should take off these wet clothes,” he retorts, his lips lifting into a sideways smirk.

Your eyes lift back to his and you stand locked in a silent challenge until your hands are warmer and he releases them. He pulls the blanket from his bed and wraps it around your shoulders before sliding his shirt over his head. For a brief second you let your gaze fall to his skin once again, the light smattering of hair that lines his chest the last thing you see before his shirt falls over it.

Warm fingers tuck under your chin and lift your eyes to his.

“Would you rather my own shirt to keep you warm,” he simpers.

“No thank you Captain,” you say, squaring your shoulders. “The blanket will do until I find something suitable to wear.”

He releases your chin, closing the space between your bodies and dipping his head to your ear.

“You must be starving,” he whispers, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. “I expect you outside once you’re dressed.”

When he pulls away you open your mouth to protest his demand but he presses a finger to your lips.

“Captain’s orders sweetheart.”

After the door shuts behind you and you’re sure he’s out of earshot you let out a groan and stomp over to the chest in the far corner of the room. As you search through it you huff and puff with every shovel of clothing. Nothing fits properly and everything smells like him.

“Ugh!” you sigh. “Torture!”

You find a white shirt with a deep v neck and puffed sleeves and a pair dark pants that fall to your ankles as well as a leather belt to keep it all together.

When you leave the cabin you can already hear the merrymaking on the main deck, the sounds of singing and music floating across the ship. It instantly lightens your mood and momentarily makes you forget that every inch of you smells of his skin.

You don’t rush as you walk across the deck, taking the time to appreciate its parts and adornments. You look upwards toward the crow’s nest and smile when you see the ship’s flag. It’s customary with the skull and crossbones, the skull sporting an eye patch and bandana but it’s the silhouette of the moon as the backdrop that really catches your eye.

“There you are princess.”

You jerk with a quiet squeak, pressing your hand to your chest.

Eddie stands in front of you with a sheepish smile.

“Sorry sweetheart,” he says as he holds out his hand. “But I was worried I was going to have to come and get you…”

You raise your brows defiantly but take his hand, nonetheless. His eyes travel down your body, lingering on the expanse of skin exposed from his oversized shirt.

“But look at you…,” he hums appreciatively. “My very own pirate princess.”

Intent on burying your intense attraction toward the captain you answer with a sassy remark.

“I belong to no one!,” you warn. “And this is all I found that isn’t completely ridiculous. It’s not like you had any suitable clothing in there.”

“You have not yet seen all the treasure aboard my ship princess. Be patient,” he answers, clearly enjoying your attempt at resisting his charms. “Now join me and let’s get you some sea legs!”

Without waiting for your response, he pulls you forward and escorts you to the main deck, the raucous sounds of the crew growing louder with each step you take.

As soon as you come into view the crew erupts into a chorus of whistles and cheers.

“The Princess lives!” a man leaning against the mainmast cheers before he approaches.

The newcomer takes your free hand and kisses your knuckles, promptly introducing himself with a dramatic bow.

“First Mate Steve at your service my lady.”

Steve lets go of your hand and smiles warmly. “I hope you’re ready for a celebration!”

Eddie tucks you into his side and walks toward a group of rum barrels, helping you sit before he saunters off to fix you a plate of meats and cheeses and acquires a bottle of rum.

“A meal fit for a princess,” he chimes as he sets it down in your lap.

With a quiet thanks you take a sip of the rum, coughing when the rough liquid slides down your throat.

“Enjoy sweetheart,” he says with a wink.

He sits himself down on one of the barrels and picks up his lute. Your eyes grow wide with awe the longer he plucks the strings, his fingers moving effortlessly over the instrument.

He catches you staring and holds your gaze as he strums a tune, soon adding his voice to the chorus of the crew. You can’t look away, mesmerized by the way he masters the instrument.

You’re not sure for how long you sit and how much rum you drink but by the time the music ends and your plate is empty your body is swaying with the rocking waves. You press yourself to the port side and giggle, trying to stay upright.

When the boat dips with a large wave you almost fall over but thankfully a strong hand grabs your waist and you’re suddenly enveloped in a familiar scent.

“Eddie,” you gush, pressing a hand to his chest. “Saving me again.”

With a sweep of his other arm, he lifts you up, cradling you against his chest and carrying you toward his quarters.

“I see you’ve enjoyed yourself and the rum princess,” he lightly teases.

You lean your head along his shoulder and brush your fingers through his hair, fingering a braided strand and purring at its softness.

“I did,” you sigh contentedly, snuggling closer to him. “I think I’ve found my sea legs.”

With a loud chuckle he kicks the door to his cabin open and gently sets you down on his bed. Your arms stay wrapped around his neck and when he reaches back to unhook them you resist.

“Stay with me,” you whisper, your eyes closing.

His moment of hesitation is fleeting and when your fingers slide down his chest and toy with the ties of his shirt he readily gives in and lays down next to you. You continue to twist the ties of his shirt between your fingers, slipping them under the fabric to feel his warm skin.

“Why is there a moon on your flag?” you ask quietly.

“Hmm?” he says, clearly distracted by your touch.

“Your flag…there’s a moon,” you repeat drowsily.

“The name of my ship is Moonchild,” he says, pressing his nose to the top of your head.

He inhales softly, his own eyes closing as your scent overtakes him.

“That’s not a very scary name,” you harrumph. “You’re a pirate.”

His head cranes back with a laugh and your eyes pop open as you sit up to look at him. His eyes are crinkled at the sides and his cheeks are pink.

When he regains his composure and his gaze settles on you his eyes soften as he lifts his thumb to your cheek, caressing your soft skin.

“I can be scary when I need to be,” he says, puffing out his chest. “You were the one who fainted just as I was rescuing you.”

“Next time I won’t miss it,” you giggle as you settle your head back on his chest and close your eyes.

“Tell me why you picked the name Moonchild,” you ask.

He begins to speak, explaining his love for the moon and stars and how the first time he spent a night at sea he was in complete wonderment over the beauty of the sky. His voice grows fainter and your body heavy with sleep and the last thing you remember is the press of his soft lips to the corner of your mouth, his words only a whisper.

You wake several hours later to cool sheets and a throbbing headache. With a loud groan you sit up and wipe your eyes, trying to see in the blackness. Your captain is no where to be found but there is a small bottle of what you hope is water sitting on the small table nearby.

On wobbly legs you walk over and open it, taking a small sip and sighing when you realize it is indeed water. You drink it all, savoring the way it quenches your dry throat. Deciding that some fresh sea air will also help you quietly open the door and look around.

It’s quiet other than the soft sound of waves hitting the ship and the gentle snore of some of the crew members. You climb the rope ladder to the poop deck and sit with a plop, lying back and looking up at the sky.

“Wow,” you whisper.

“That’s exactly what I said the first time I saw it.”

You sit up with a shriek and pull your cutlass from your boot, the moonlight catching the blade and illuminating the sharp curve.

Eddie’s eyes are crinkled in a smile and his hands are held up in surrender.

“I have to stop frightening you like this princess,” he says quietly as he grabs your wrist.

“You’re lucky I didn’t stab you Eddie!” you grit out before lying back down with a huff.

“I’m not that easy to kill sweetheart,” he reminds you, easily disarming you and holding the cutlass to your throat, all in one swift movement.

Your sharp intake of breath has his eyes falling to your parted lips, the sword slowly falling from your throat as he trails the edge of the blade delicately down the bare skin that peeks out of the shirt you wear, his shirt.

Your eyes follow it, not daring to look at him but as he slides it back up and places the tip under your chin you’re forced to meet his eyes, heated with desire.

“You are the most beautiful treasure I’ve found,” he whispers, tucking the cutlass away and rolling you under him.

“What do you think you’re doing Captain?” you ask, nearly breathless while you push on his chest.

“Exactly what you want,” he simpers as his face inches closer, his curls tickling your cheek.

You try to shove him off you but it’s a feeble attempt and instead your fingers fist into the fabric of his shirt and you tug him down to your mouth, his warm breath caressing your skin. He brushes his lips to yours, watching your eyes flutter closed at the press of his lips.

“CAPTAIN!!! CAPTAIN!”

Steve’s shrill voice startles you both and Eddie groans, resting his forehead to yours before he reluctantly sits up and calls back to his first mate.

“What is it Harrington?!” Eddie nearly growls.

Steve’s head pops up over the poop deck, his long bangs flopping over his forehead as mischievous smile adorns his face.

“So sorry to interrupt Captain,” Steve smirks, “but it seems one of the crew members has lost his sea legs and fallen overboard.”

Eddie mutters several disgruntled curses and stands, holding his hand out to help you to your feet.

“Duty calls princess,” Eddie smiles. “I’ll be back. Don’t miss me too much!”

Your upper lip curls in disdain and it only makes Eddie’s smile wider. “You wish captain!”

“Don’t be a tease sweetheart,” he groans, letting his gaze linger on your mouth.

Steve calls for him again and with one last heart stopping smile, Eddie jumps off the deck and runs to rescue the crew member.

You pace the area, muttering to yourself as your fingers trace your lips, the feel of his barely there kiss still making you tingle. You consider jumping into the ocean to cool off but it’s pitch black and they’re already dealing with someone else almost getting lost at sea.

Resorting to hiding away in the captain’s quarters you light some candles and explore his room. Your fingertips smooth over the map that lies across the table, several pinpoints sticking out from the parchment. You notice a telescope on the small windowsill and next to it and old and worn leatherbound book.

Just as you turn the first page the doorknob clicks and you gasp, cradling the book to your chest.

“Find anything you like?” Eddie asks as he enters and shuts the door behind him.

You look down at the book and quickly place it on the windowsill, taking a step away as Eddie approaches. Your back hits the far wall and he reaches you in two long strides.

“Leaving so soon?” he simpers, pressing his body closer.

“Your shirt is all wet,” you state. “And it’s cold.”

“You’re wearing the only other one I have,” he answers, placing a hand at your waist.

“You’re a terrible liar,” you retort, tugging the wet material from his pants.

Your fingers skim across his skin, combing through the soft trail of hair that disappears under this belt. His eyes close and he buries his face in your neck.

“And you’re a terrible tease,” he whispers before trailing kisses down your neck.

The feel of his mouth on your skin is your undoing and you moan out his name, gripping his shirt and trying to rip it from his body. He pulls away to help you get it off, your hands instantly falling to his bare skin and when his lips finally meet yours it sends sparks skittering down your spine.

Your fingers dance up his chest and into his hair, tugging at the silky strands until there’s no space left between your bodies.

“Princess,” he murmurs against your lips as his hand dips between you to untie the lace of your pants.

Your head falls back along the wall, your own fingers fumbling with the leather at his waist. He gets your pants loose and let’s them fall to your ankles and he follows, sinking to his knees.

The light cotton that covers your hips is torn and floating to the floor as he spreads your legs, his rings digging into your soft skin and his nose skimming over you. Your fingers tighten in his curls before you push the bandana from his head to gain a better hold and pull his face closer.

He teases you with light kisses, groaning every time you tug on his hair. When his tongue finally slides through your folds your knees buckle and you thrust your hips, unable to hold back. He sucks your clit into his mouth, growling as your arousal coats his face and he pushes your hips farther apart.

You scream out his name, sagging against the wall as your release floods through you and your body becomes pliant.

He slowly slides upwards, his mouth leaving heated kisses along your breasts and collarbone. His lips meet your pulse point and he sucks gently, dropping his eyes to watch you undo his belt and push his pants down his thick thighs.

His hand falls to caress our thigh, hooking underneath to lift it around his waist spread you open. With his mouth just a breath away from yours he keeps his dark eyes on you as he pushes in slowly, your name falling from his lips like a prayer

He rocks his hips, angling your leg higher so he can sink deeper. He gathers your wrists in his free hand and brings your arms above your head, pinning them to the wall.

Your mouth falls open with a moan, his own swallowing the sound when his hips pump harder.

“Come on princess,” he hums, his lips trailing along your jaw. “Show me how good I make you feel.”

You tighten around him, trying to free your arms in a desperate attempt to get your hands on his skin but he holds you in place, drawing out your pleasure until you feel him fill you up.

When he releases your arms you slump along the wall, letting out a whine as he pulls out and carefully drops your leg.

He drops his head and watches his cum drip down your inner thigh, his ringed fingers ghosting along your skin to collect it and tease between your legs.

“Look at me,” he demands as his two of his thick fingers slip inside you, coated in his cum. “Say you’ll be mine.”

His fingers slowly move in and out, pulling the softest sounds from the back of your throat.

“Please be mine princess,” he whispers with a soft touch of his lips.

A husky “yes” is all you can manage with his fingers still inside you, his rings brushing against your sensitive skin when he pushes deeper at the sound of your answer.

@dreamlessinparis @hiddles-rose @loki-laufeyson-1054 @seitmai @goldylions @buckysdollforlife @blackwidownat2814 @whippoorwillbarnes @whitewolfey @moviequeen51 @aedicn @munsonsduchess @beefybuckrrito @justile

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson stranger things #pirate!eddie munson #pirate au #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x female!reader #eddie munson au #joseph quinn x reader

942 notes · View notes

evansbby · 2 years

Note

A DIRTLY SLUTTY THOUGHT:

Pervy!Stepdad!Ari !!!! goes through readers room—finds a cute lil vibrator and later confronts her about it. Calls her a ‘dumb little slut’ and lots of degrading. He then tells her to make herself cum with it in front of him but he doesn’t know that she can’t. She hasn’t ever been able to cum using it and she’s crying from embarrassment and suddenly they’re screwing and finally ARI MAKES HER CUM !! WhoO HOO!!

This is actually a fic I’ve been meaning to write but maybe you’ll do better with the idea! Love your work bub!!💕💕

Oh I’m in love with this stepdad!Ari! He’s so strict with his baby girl yet he can’t help but lust after you too…

Warnings: stepcest, daddy kink, dd/lg dynamics, the usual depravity

“I’m gonna ask you one more time. What’s this, sweetheart?” Your stepfather, Ari, asks you, holding up the pale pink vibrator. It looks tiny in his hands, but that doesn’t do anything to lessen your shame.

“D-Don’t know, daddy.” You stutter through your lie, pointedly looking down at your feet, hands behind your back as you stand in front of your bed with your stepdad a few steps away from you.

Ari runs a hand through his wild hair, “You must be feeling bold today, honey. You know how daddy feels about you lying to me. You also know the rule we have about owning naughty girl toys like this one. Could you remind daddy the rule we have?”

“Not allowed to use any naughty girl toys on my princess parts.” You recite the rules your stepdad has taught you over the past few months.

It started with Ari calling you into his home office, making you sit on his lap while he told you all the ways to pleasure a man, stroking you softly through your panties as he made you touch his dick — all while your mother was in the kitchen cooking dinner for the family.

But Ari never let you cum — always edging you till you were a wet mess on his lap, crying and humping on his thigh while he stilled you and mocked you for seeking pleasure from your stepdad.

That’s why you bought the vibrator.

“That’s right, baby.” Ari says softly, knocking you back into the present, “So imagine how disappointed I was when I walked into my little girl’s room to see her pleasuring herself with this sad excuse of a toy. And then you proceed to lie to me about it. You’ve made your daddy very sad today, honey.”

“No!” You cry out suddenly, launching yourself at your stepdad and wrapping your arms around his neck, face burying into his sturdy chest, “Please don’t be sad, daddy! Didn’t mean to lie! I’m just so horny all the time… princess parts always aching for you! Had to… Had to do something about it!”

“My poor baby,” Ari coos, gathering you in his arms and sitting down on the bed with you in his lap, “You’re so worked up and horny that you had to go buy yourself a little toy, didn’t you? So tell daddy how it felt to make yourself cum. It’s the least you could do after lying to me.”

You cry even harder, “Couldn’t do it, daddy! Didn’t know how. An’ it didn’t feel nearly as good as your fingers. Or your thigh.” You hope that maybe your daddy will feel bad for you, that he’ll forget all about the toy and finally make you cum. Maybe if you’re really good, he’ll even put his dick inside you tonight!

“Dumb, slutty baby,” Ari murmurs, stroking your hair back and out of your face, “So desperate to cum that you’ll break daddy’s rules, huh? And then after all that, you couldn’t even figure out how to pleasure yourself. Guess your little baby brain is dumber than I realised. But don’t worry, daddy’s here now.”

He sets you down on the bed; and you’re a sniffling mess sat between your stuffies on your lacy bedsheets, tiny skirt flipped upwards and panties wet and pushed to the side. Ari’s even rolled your Hello Kitty top up so he can see your tits, his eyes dark with lust as he looks over you before throwing the vibrator at you.

“Well, go on then. Pleasure yourself. Since you love breaking daddy’s rules so much, you might as well give me a show.”

You swallow, looking down at the vibrator blankly before grabbing Ari’s hand instead, bringing it between your legs, “N-No, daddy, you! You please! My princess parts like you more than this icky toy, daddy, please! Always so wet just for you!”

You just want to cum so bad, and you want it to be by his hands, not this dumb vibrator that you can’t even figure out how to use.

Ari slaps your hand away cruelly before turning the vibrator on and handing the toy to you, “Do what daddy tells you to, princess. And don’t worry, I know your too dumb to figure out how to work the toy, so I’ll talk you through it. And you better not scream when you cum, we don’t want mommy to hear, do we?”

Oh fuck please oh my fucking god BYE

#ari levinson #ari drabble #chris evans #chris evans x reader #bunnyscraft #ik this isn’t exactly what you described but this is where I ended up sjsjsjajaj

702 notes · View notes

lovethistoomuch · 2 months

Text

10 characters 10 fandoms

I was tagged by @birdkeeperklink thank you so much! I really had to think on these since, as per my url you can guess there are a lot. (sorry for the late reply. I got no excuse, really, except life continued to happen around me and deciding who to pick was really hard.)

in no particular order (though Loki is Number 1, I'm sorry everyone else), here we go:

1. Loki Odinson from MARVEL

I just love him so much I've written a 78K fix-it fantasy novel (not finished) to give him the happy ending he deserves. there is no other character I identify with harder than this one: a younger sibling full of rage, always feeling overshadowed by the older one, just wanting to prove their own worth and show the world that they are capable (i got over this a lot in recent years but my love for him still remains.)

Tom just plays him so perfectly and I am so heartbroken that the writers at MARVEL did not know what to do with him, so they killed him off (the Loki show doesn't count because that's not him okay.) he's always having a good time, he's snarky and clever and desperately needs a hug. how can you not love him?

2. Mr. Spock and Leonard (Bones) McCoy from Star Trek TOS

Yes, they are two people but I just couldn't choose between them!

The grumpy surgeon with a heart of gold an the emotionally suppressed but deeply loving vulcan live in my heart rent free ever since I was a child. Spock was my first crush ever and his complicated relationship with McCoy has always fascinated me. they are two incredibly complicated people and there isn't enough space here to describe why. writing them is just as much fun as watching them and I actually own the autographs of both Leonard and De.

3. James Wilson from House M.D.

he's a man of many contradictions: he is kind but also House's best friend, he loves people dearly but can also tell them to fuck off. he is confident and funny and he helps people without being a pushover. he loves all of his his wives but cheats at least once. he is a walking mystery which makes him a great friend for House and a nightmare to write. I just love him! also, that smile!

4. Castiel from Supernatural

Cas is the character, truly! he can go from nerdy to badass in the blink of an eye. a cosmic being that plays dress up just to make one human smile, who should be nothing but an ant to him. he fiercely protects the people he loves and always tries to do the right thing. the character that inserted himself into the story against the writer's will and changed the narrative for ever. when he came on the show, I hated his guts. and look at me now...

5. Zuko from Avatar the last Aribender

you simply cannot talk about redemption arcs without mentioning Zuko at some point. an exceptional character amongst a cast of exceptional characters. I once joked that 90% of his lines were just him screaming but that poor boy has so much rage inside him, and with all that trauma, can you really blame him? he is the epitome of character growth and a fascinating example of how the villain can become a hero without taking any shortcuts.

6. Stephen Maturin from the Aubrey-Maturin series

if you read the books, you'll know why. this fucking lunatic is so oblivious to his own eccentricities that you just have to love him. nobody does it quite like him to be honest. no, Stephen, people will not think you're eccentric because you practice sword fighting on deck, however they might think that because you let loose 1000 bees on the ship and run around naked. he has no sense for proper etiquette and i love him so much for it. also, he get's on a ship without being able to swim and performs open brain surgery on deck. he is incredibly skilled and the best damn doctor in the entire fleet. also, his dynamic with his best friend/captain is one of the best friendships I've ever seen/read.

7. Scrooge McDuck

this might be an unusual choice but i grew up reading comics and at one point in my life i figured out that all of my favourite stories were writen and drawn by the legendary Don Rosa, who in his book "the life and times of Scrooge McDuck" created one of the most fascinating and fun to watch characters i've ever seen. starting from humble beginnings and rising to the top through his percevierence, fearlessness and ingenuity, inevitably losing everything he loved and ending up alone, only to be found by his family again, his story is one of my absolute favourites in literature. i know that due the never ending nature of comic books, he can never truly get his happy ending but I really wished he could.

8. Keeley Jones from Ted Lasso

I don't think I've ever seen a woman like her in any media to be honest. she is so clearly feminine and embodies all the traits of a woman that would normally be depicted as bitchy, toxic and self obsessed but she is just none of those things. she is a girly woman who loves pink and cries and she is just so human and lovely and i love her so much for it! her friendship with Rebecca is also so amazing and feels very real and true to what friendships between woman are actually like. I just love her as a beacon of healthy femininity and can only hope that there will be more characters like her in the future!

9. Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium

the voice, the looks, the everything! the moment I met him I knew I wanted him to be my best friend for ever! his deadpan delivery combined with his dorkyness and his shere competence had me on the floor on multiple occasions. I have not finished the game yet but I have never had a companion this incredible in any video game ever! I could listen to him read the phone book for hours. when he went "daba doop doop dead" I died. also him jumping in when I fail a check has to be the most badass thing ever. I love you, Kim. please be proud of me. (also, I know he probably has a darker side to him that I am not seeing right now because I am always choosing the nice options but hey, the best characters are the complicated ones.)

10. Cole Turner from Charmed

this show was so much better when he was in it! the half demon who crosses over to the good side without ever really changing his ways. he burns someone alive and laughs about it, drags a detective to hell and doesn't give a shit about civilians. even when he is completely human his solution to assholes is to punch them in the face. he loves power and controling others and looking good while doing it. I know him beind "good" was a whole thing on the show but to me the most fun about him was that he continued being evil but was now using his powers to help the good guys. show me another character that got redeemed into the hero team without losing his evil edge. Cole was just so much fun to watch but unfortunately his character got totally buthcered by bad writing.

No pressure of doing this but tagging:

@catzy88, @uponxhorhaus, @accrov

#tag game #favourite characters #wow this got long #whoops #long post #about me #i guess

10 notes · View notes

3mixs · 1 year

Note

Thank you so much for writing my mihyo ask. Just like I expected it was perfect ☺️. I know I've said this before but I love the way you write. I loved the fact that you continued the ceo au. I'm looking forward to more of them. If it's not to much trouble can we get a story where they officially become girlfriends and go on their first date? If this is too many asks please let me know and I'll ask another time.

omg thank you so much, you’re so nice!! you can absolutely get anything you ask for! unless my requests are ever closed you’re always more than welcome to send whatever you want and i’ll write it up for you!! so without further ado, here’s mihyo’s first date!

mina tilted her head back as warm rays of sunlight cascaded over her. her chest rose as she breathed in the fresh air of spring. she couldn’t remember the last time she willingly spent time outside. with the constant demand for innovation and success that her job required, she didn’t have much time for herself. not that she would typically choose to spend the little free time she did have out doors. given the choice, she would always opt to spend time inside, where bugs couldn’t get her. but today wasn’t about her. today was about them and the start of their relationship.

since mina had come back from her business trip, things had been different. there was no longer a need to disguise her feelings as purely lust or excuse her neediness as her insatiable need for control. so she didn’t. instead she tried to be more open with her emotions and express her needs. it didn’t always come out quite as eloquent or kind as she had hoped, but she was trying and that’s all that mattered for now.

jihyo was patient and encouraging. she didn’t push mina to give more than she was ready to. despite how much she wanted to hear mina voice her feelings, she knew mina wasn’t there yet. so she took what she could get from the ceo and rewarded mina’s efforts through affirmations and loving kisses.

over time mina became more comfortable voicing her feelings. she would even say she liked it to an extent. every time she voiced what she felt toward jihyo, she knew it would make jihyo happy. and to mina there was no better feeling in the world than being the reason jihyo smiled.

eventually mina worked up the courage to take a step forward with their relationship. she knew it had to be her to make the decision to move forward. after all she was the one who changed their dynamic in the first place. so, one night after work she asked jihyo out on a real date. jihyo had agreed, but only on one condition: she got to decide what they would do. mina would have preferred the control, but agreed nonetheless. she was mostly just happy jihyo had said yes (though there was no way she’d say no).

so here mina was, sitting on a picnic blanket in the park and basking in the sun. “wow, is that myoi mina actually enjoying the outdoors?” jihyo teased as she approached the blanket, two ice cream cones in hand. a giggle erupted past mina’s pink lips, “oh hush. i was just enjoying the peace and quiet without somebody talking my ear off.” jihyo playfully rolled her eyes as she sat beside the other girl. “take your ice cream miss ‘peace and quiet.’”

mina leaned over to place a soft peck on jihyo’s cheek as she took one of the cone’s out of jihyo’s hand. “thank you for the dessert baby. are you sure you don’t want me to pay you back for it?” mina asked earnestly. jihyo couldn’t help but laugh, “how poor do you think i am? it’s just ice cream.” the ceo’s eyes widened and cheeks flushed a bright pink. “i didn’t mean to- i just meant- i could pay- i don’t think you’re-” mina stumbled over her words in an attempt to save herself from a misunderstanding. jihyo could only laugh harder, “i’m just kidding honey, relax. besides, you need to start saving up. from now on you’re going to be paying and just so you know, i have expensive taste.” mina lightly pushed jihyo’s arm at the relentless joking, “stop teasing me and eat your ice cream.”

jihyo smiled, obviously proud of herself for successfully teasing her now girlfriend. mina watched her fondly as she began to lick the treat in front of her. she let out a content hum as the sweetness of the ice cream filled her mouth. “this is delicious. what flavor did you get?” mina asked, eyeing the green scoop on top of jihyo’s sugar cone. jihyo held out her dessert for mina to taste, “mint chocolate chip, here try some.” mina took the cone in her hand and took a small lick of the dessert, handing her own cone over for jihyo to try the black cherry flavor she had requested. mina nodded in approval at the taste, “i hate that it was actually good. there’s no reason mint flavored ice cream should taste good.” mina joked as she took another lick of jihyo’s dessert which prompted the other girl to whine and reach for her cone. the ceo couldn’t help but laugh at jihyo faux annoyance.

the pair continued to chat as they enjoyed their respective ice cream. mina couldn’t recall the last time she had smiled this much. she was almost positive by the time the date was over her face would hurt because of it. thinking about it only made her smile harder.

after their ice cream had long been eaten and the position of the sun had moved closer to the west, jihyo laid with her head on mina’s lap while she played with her hair. mina studied jihyo’s face, committing every detail to memory. “thank you for today. i haven’t had this much fun since... i don’t know when.” mina confessed as she twirled a strand of jihyo’s hair around her finger. jihyo’s lips curved into a warm smile that mina then mirrored. “don’t thank me quite yet. i have one more thing i want to do, if you’re up for it?”

“i’ll do anything you want me to,” mina’s voice was sincere. she didn’t want to get too invested too soon, but she knew she meant what she said in every sense of it. she would follow jihyo anywhere and do anything jihyo asked of her. jihyo must have known it too based on the fond look in her eyes. jihyo removed herself from mina’s lap and placed a delicate kiss on mina’s lips before she stood up and held out her hand. mina took her hand with no hesitation. she had no idea what was in store, but as long as she was with jihyo she couldn’t wait to find out what it was.

the pair gathered their belongings and stored them in jihyo’s car. “are we driving there?” mina questioned, unsure. “we certainly can if you want to. but, it’s only like a ten minute walk from here.” mina didn’t exactly like the idea of walking but she did love the idea of getting to hold jihyo’s hand as they walked. mina held out her hand for jihyo to lead the way.

jihyo laced their fingers together as they made their way back through the park and toward the city. she thought she’d be more nervous at the prospect of holding mina’s hand out in public- especially after having to hide her feelings for her boss for so long- but honestly, holding mina’s hand couldn’t have felt more natural. like mina’s hand was made to fit her own.

the two had been so engulfed in their conversation that the walk didn’t even feel like ten minutes. if jihyo hadn’t stopped her mina would have just kept walking without a care in the world just listening to jihyo talk. they had stopped outside of a small, dark building mina couldn’t see inside of. “what is this place?” mina asked skeptically as she searched for a sign or any indication of what was inside. jihyo was practically buzzing with excitement as she made her way over to the door. “are you sure this is the right place? this looks like the back of the building, shouldn’t we go to the other side or something?” mina asked even more confused the more she observed the building. jihyo ignored mina’s questions as she typed a code into the lock pad above the door handle.

the sound of the dead bolt shifting inside the door took mina by surprise. she truly had no idea what was going on or what to expect behind those doors. jihyo’s smile practically spanned from ear to ear as she hurriedly opened the door for mina, “after you.” mina looked at her girlfriend with a puzzled expression for a moment as jihyo urged her to enter the building. “are you going to murder me? was this all a set up?” jihyo rolled her eyes in impatience, “babe, just go inside.”

mina sighed in defeat and stepped forward, “if i step through those doors and die, i want you to know i will haunt you for the rest of time.” jihyo chuckled as she ushered mina through the door. before them was a empty hallway with a black door on the other end. “jihyo-” before the ceo could finish her sentence, put her hand on the base of her back and urged her toward the door. “trust me,” jihyo said softly as she lead them through the black door.

mina stood there in shock for a moment as she processed her new surroundings. a symphony of buzzes, dings, cheers and music filled the air. blue and purple neon lights illuminated the otherwise dark room. “oh my god,” mina whispered as she took in the vibrancy of the arcade. jihyo’s smile grew almost impossibly bigger as she watched mina’s eyes fill with excitement and wonder. the younger turned to her, surprise etched in her every feature. jihyo nodded toward the arcade as if to give mina permission to explore. mina needed no further instruction as she excitedly darted through the room, gasping and pointing out which games she wanted to play. “holy shit. i can’t believe they have this, i haven’t played this since i was a kid.” mina marveled at the old machine, a bright smile on her face as the nostalgia washed over her. “how did you find this place?”

jihyo half-shrugged although the look on her face gave away how proud she was, “just found it. wait here and i’ll get us some tokens.” mina was so entranced by the game she barely even registered jihyo leaving and coming back. it wasn’t until jihyo rattled the cup of coins that mina looked away from the screen.

for the next hour jihyo and mina played game after game, laughing and teasing each other at every chance they could. they moved from one machine to the other as mina recalled stories of her playing them in the past and jihyo listened attentively. she’d never seen mina this giddy and playful. it was almost like watching mina revert into a ten year old version of herself. she’s so used to mina’s more stoic and professional nature around the office and her commanding yet caring way at home, she never imagined this side to the ceo.

mina fiddled a game token between her fingers as she contemplated which game was worthy of their final coin. “we could play another round of dance dance revolution or do the racing game again- wait, maybe we should do the bowling one you’re good at so we can get more tickets and try to get better prizes. actually maybe we should do one more round of mortal combat since you can never go wrong with that,” mina rambled as her brows furrowed in contemplation. jihyo lightly placed her hand on top of mina’s, “actually i was hoping to try one we haven’t done yet.”

mina halted her suggestions for a moment, “we missed one?” she had been sure they played with every worthy machine. jihyo grabbed mina’s hand and lead her to the other end of the room, “babe, no offense but are we seriously going to waste our last coin on a claw machine? that’s not even really a game-” mina started to protest, since she had purposely been avoiding this corner of the room. jihyo continued to lead them forward until the reached the very edge of the room, “i want to play that one.” jihyo nodded toward an older machine that seemed to be excluded from the rest of the arcade. mina’s eyes widened once she realized what game it had been. she slowly approached the machine in disbelief, “i didn’t think they still had these anywhere.” she lightly traced over the machine’s controls, “when i was growing up i used to come to the arcade to play this with my dad every weekend when he was off work. this is part of the reason i fell in love with video games.” mina said with a fondness in her voice at the distant memories.

jihyo stood to the side of the machine and patted the coin slot, “show me how to play?” mina eagerly agreed as she dropped the token into the slot. she excitedly rattled off the rules of the game before she started her turn. jihyo barely paid the game any mind, content to just watch mina do the cute little face she makes when she’s concentrating. after a few minutes the machine erupted with a victorious trumpet sound to indicate mina had won. the ceo threw her fist in the air, “fuck yeah! i still got it!” she exclaimed, pride overflowing from her demeanor.

jihyo applauded her girlfriend before placing a kiss on her cheek, “congratulations babe! i knew you could do it.” mina wrapped her arms around jihyo’s waist and pulled her close. mina’s eyes filled with love as she looked at jihyo. she placed a loving kiss onto jihyo’s lips. jihyo smiled into the kiss before she pulled away and grabbed the tickets from the machine. “let’s go collect your prizes.”

the pair brought their abundance of tickets to the front of the arcade. a tall, older man stood behind the prize counter with a smile on his face, “wow, you weren’t kidding when you said she was into video games.” mina looked puzzled for a moment when she realized he was speaking to jihyo who had placed the tickets on the counter. jihyo laughed at his comment, “next time i need to bring more money so we can play longer. she kicked my ass at everything.” the man filtered the tickets through a machine and shook his head playfully at jihyo’s words. “i’m glad you two had fun. you can pick anything from the top shelf or from the stuffed animals hanging below it.”

jihyo turned toward mina, “you won the tickets so you pick.” mina still looked confused at the interaction she just witnessed and how little time she had to process it before they moved on. she turned her attention to the wall of prizes. she contemplated for a moment before pointing, “that one please.” the man grabbed a step stool and took the large pokemon plushie from it’s place on the wall. he then handed it to mina, the couple thanked him for the prize. “thank you again for everything. i’m sure we’ll be back,” jihyo bowed slightly toward the man before waving goodbye.

“did you know him?” mina asked as she held the plushie against her chest. jihyo giggled as they made their way through the exit. “kind of. we’ve been emailing back and forth.” mina raised her brow, “why?” jihyo shrugged, “i emailed a few arcades in the area to see if they had qix. this was the only place in like a hundred miles that had one that still worked.” mina stopped in her tracks along the sidewalk, “how did you know to do all this?” jihyo stopped alongside her, her demeanor turning sheepish at what she was about to confess.

“well, when you were out of town and i was staying at your place i tidying up around the house and went into your office. i noticed that picture of you and your dad playing qix on your desk. i figured since you haven’t been able to go back home in a while i could do something to try to bring home to you. it’s the only reason i insisted you let me pick what we did today.”

mina stood there in shock for a moment. she’s been homesick for so long she’d gone numb to it at this point. with the influx of work she had to deal with, it became easy to forget how much she yearned to be back in the place she grew up in and surrounded by her family. she’d been in work mode for so many years that anything other than work took a back seat. mina’s hands dropped to her side as she processed the information. no one had ever done anything this thoughtful for her. in a swift motion she pulled jihyo close and pressed a passionate kiss against her lips. she tried to pour every once of love and gratefulness she had into their kiss, knowing she wouldn’t be able to express it all properly with words. jihyo kissed back with so much tenderness and care it almost made mina cry.

once the two pulled away to replenish their lungs with air mina took jihyo’s hand in her own. “thank you.” jihyo smiled at her girlfriend, “you really don’t need to thank me. i had so much fun, so really i should be thanking you.” mina squeezed jihyo’s hand, “no, i am thanking you. this was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. so thank you. this was seriously like my favorite day ever. i’ll never forget this.” mina said sincerely as she handed jihyo the plushie she had won, “i want you to have this.”

jihyo shook her head and tried to hand the stuffed creature back, “i appreciate it, but you won it so you should be the one to keep it.” mina refused to take it, “please take it, i only got it because it reminds me of you anyway.” jihyo held out the plushie and studied over it’s pink appearance. “seriously? i remind you of a pokemon?” mina giggled as she looked back and forth between the plush and her girlfriend, “you have the same big eyes. and it’s not just a pokemon, it’s a jigglypuff. the cutest pokemon.” jihyo shook her head and laughed as she started to walk again hand and hand with mina. “let’s go back home.”

#mihyo #mina #jihyo #fluff #request #anonymous #ceo!mina

19 notes · View notes

somecunt · 1 year

Text

As time goes on, I notice how unfulfilled I am, and disappointed with my reality.

It’s sort of always been this way, but I’m in the position now where I could escape it, to my knowledge, if I did try harder.

I’m a transgender male and could be considered within the nonbinary spectrum. If you’ve read previous posts of mine, you’d be aware that I’m uncomfortable labeling myself nonbinary, I am agender, however I feel the need to be simplistic at the moment, what I’m more uncomfortable with is simply the term, “nonbinary”. While, “nonbinary spectrum” for me is more accurate, as I feel it is more informative about the nature of what nonbinary is intended to imply, a spectrum of genders outside exclusively male and female(genders), not simply a 3rd gender.

I have not transitioned, not medically, nor socially, offline. I am stagnant in my own life. I’ve been losing myself, and being stuck more often in a deeper state of depression.

I’ve been fearful of getting a job, I’ve never had a job previously. I had my reasons for the first year and a half I had planned to have a break after I finished school before starting a job, cause once you start, you’re not necessarily in a position to stop, now it’s expected of you to do x,y, and z for the rest of your life. So I thought I’d, for a few months, let myself be. I ended up getting wrapped up in babysitting, and it was expected of me due to other people being irresponsible, this lasted around 6 months(Although excuse my poor memory). Babysitting drove me near insane. By the end, I had had a panic attack in my sleep, which woke me up, and I struggled to breathe, and thought I was going to die. I was afraid much more so due to the idea or dying due to suffocation, it seemed like a really terrible and painful way to go, so that was the scary part. So I had intended to take another break at least two months due to the extreme amount of stress I had been in previously. I can’t completely remember but even during this time I still had to babysit to some extent which kept me not fully there. Covid also happened, which started before the babysitting.

After this, the second break after the babysitting stretched very long and I would feel very anxious filling out job application, this is an issue I no longer have, It’s more exhausting mentally for me than anxiety provoking, which the exhaustion isn’t my excuse, I simply haven’t been on top of it. Besides during the times when it triggered my anxiety, that was quite hard to deal with, so I do use the anxiety as a partially excuse.

Also, this post isn’t intended as a, “my life is so terrible feel bad for me” there are parts of my life that for me personally were difficult to bare, and I do honestly at times feel like that, as well as that I’ve never gotten to fully mourn the difficulties in my life without someone criticizing me for it (This isn’t completely true but I do feel locked in a state of misery in relation to the past, so there have been times where I will routinely breakdown about the same issues), however I only wanted to write this out. So it’s not necessary to tell me how stressful any of this was, nor even to give me job advice. If you want to, you can give me job advice but I’m unlikely to take it, as I feel I know what is required of me to get started, I only haven’t.

What I especially do not need is comments about how other people have it worse, that’s not relevant to anything I’m saying, I never implied that I’m the only person ever to have hardship, and it’s one of the most unhelpful phrases or humankind. I want to vent and construct my thoughts without someone trying to piss on me.

It’s possible no one will see this post, which is also fine.

#transgender #nonbinary #trans nonbinary #agender #lgbt #queer #neopronoun user #vent

2 notes · View notes

kaatiba · 1 year

Text

reflections (a very long post)

i was looking through some old journals, ranging from 2018 to now and while it was interesting to see my journalling style shift, and to feel the tide of old memories that washed over me—i could vividly remember the particular warmth of sunlight, or jokes, or foods, or the grass and the way it prickled, or sand in my shoes, or the noises of my city in july—and while there was some nostalgia, the lingering feeling i came away with was...a tired sort of grief for my past self.

i was (am) so sad and angry and full of shame and trying anyway. i was always trying. looking back at those journals was a revelation of how much i kept (keep) trying. to be better or to do better or, mostly, to not succumb to the weight of everything. to not give up and not despair and to keep hoping things would be better. that i would make or find the life that would fulfill me and allow me to thrive. that my friendships would deepen and remain true and encouraging. (they didn’t. mostly they fell apart, and it was so strange to track it happening when my past self was so bewildered and hurt and trying not to be, as her friends continually left her or let her down).

that happened a lot. new opportunities or people would come my way, and i would be so hopeful, so eager, would reach out my hand to it all and think, ‘now, this time, maybe, is when i—’ and then it would just be struggle after struggle after struggle. with plenty of good bits sprinkled in, true, but it didn’t—doesn’t—seem enough, or balanced. and it just kept going like that. a glimmer of hope and then so much hurt and struggle and exhaustion. and i would continually excuse my hurt or the failings of others, but never my own.

nobody meant to hurt me. im not perfect myself. i need to forgive. i need to expect less. i need to communicate more. i need to want less. i need to try harder. i need to be more grateful. etc ad infinitum.

my poor past self. she needed a hug so badly. she still needs a hug. she was hard on herself, rightfully in some things, and wrongfully in others, but hard on herself mostly in this one specific way: she rarely allowed herself the right to be upset or tired or sad or angry. she would always justify or excuse or rationalize and try and forgive and get up and try again, when really maybe she just needed to sit in her feelings and acknowledge them and feel them. fair or not, she’s allowed to feel her feelings. she wasn’t inflicting them on anyone. she just kept pushing them aside, to fester and linger. no wonder she felt and continues to feel so burned out and stretched thin and resentful.

but i came away with a few realizations from this excursion down memory lane.

i. my expectations really are making me unhappier. everyone says it’s not fair to expect too much of others, but i never before thought my expectations were too much. but they are, i get that now. and i think i have to stop looking for or at other people to be life companions. that’s what i really want in a friend. that’s my definition of a good and real friend. that isn’t most others, not really, because they don’t act on that definition. and i just won’t get that.

my favourite memories, the ones that haven’t soured over time even if they were lovely in the moment, are the times when i went and had fun by myself, with myself, listening to myself. what did i want to do and eat, when did i want to explore or linger, how slow or fast i went, all of it. living in the moment was really about listening to what i really wanted right then, and going with it, rather than what i should or shouldn’t do or what the ‘best’ use of my time was, for whatever definition of ‘best’ even was.

i can’t tell anyone any of this without sounding bitter, or without seeming lonely. i am not lonely for anything that i’ve had. (but it’s ok. it’ll take time to unlearn, but i really don’t need anyone’s approval or agreement in this, and me writing this post is for expressing it all rather than any comments or reads i may or may not get. anything anyone believes, assumes, or interprets about all of this has nothing to do with me, and won’t impact me if i don’t let it.)

what i’m lonely for is for something i’ve never had: a really good friend. but i can be and have been—as lame and trite and cliche as it sounds—a really excellent friend to myself. and i don’t need anyone else. so i will stop looking for anyone else. i am not kicking anyone out of my life. i just...won’t hold on either. won’t chase them. i'll let it all flow like water, or the tide. let them come in and out as they like.

my treatment of other people aligns with what i think is right and good, regardless. i will always try to do my best by others, independent of how i am treated or engaged with in return, but i will now try and be less afraid of their disliking me or disapproving me, and letting that guide how i am with them. sometimes i’ll do better than other times, but i don’t think i’ll look to people anymore for comfort or encouragement or uplifting or support or even a really good chat and a really good laugh. they may provide that anyway, but i won’t be seeking it anymore, waiting for it anymore, or trying to ‘earn’ that anymore.

ii. i need to start taking the things i want sooner rather than later. i was laughing at myself, reading my journals, and seeing the list of things i wanted to buy myself and didn’t because...i couldn’t justify the expense. not that i couldn’t afford it, i could! it just felt wasteful. but then, nine times out of ten, i’d end up buying the thing a year or two years later. that taught me a few things: the things i want i really want enough to still get them all that time later. the delay just gave me less time to enjoy or use the thing. i rarely regret buying the thing, but i always regret how long it took me to enrich my life with the thing (or experience).

iii. my life can be rich if i make it rich. i have limitations, but mostly they’re self imposed. for example, i can afford to move out, if i rely on my credit card and give up saving and get a full time or second job. but i don’t want to do any of that. so instead of railing at the situation, i need to just. own that. own the decisions i’ve made to live the way i want to live.

iv. there will always be people disapproving of my choices. always. i keep expecting to have at least someone in my corner, and sometimes i do, but there’s always more people disapproving than approving. and its only daunting and limiting because i let it be. let them disapprove! they are not (usually) physically stopping me. i just dont want a fight, most of the time. but i need to own my choices, to either do what makes people happy, or do what makes me happy. and for the most part, i should only do what makes me happy. like really and properly, beyond the moment’s impulse. long term. i have good standards and belief systems, and once past the hedonistic momentary impulse, i regret indulging in it, so what makes me happy long term is the only choices worth making, and sometimes that ends up being what makes people happy, if they share my belief system and standards, and if they don’t, then their opinion is irrelevant. let people be upset. i am allowed to have my feelings, reasonable or not, and so are they.

v. my hands are only tied because i’m tying them up. i am as free as i let myself be. if i am going to be hurt and alone and let down repeatedly by people, i really might as well stop living by whatever i think other people expect of me. if i am going to be let down by my friends, i might as well stop trying to be a faultless paragon of friendship, and let myself be as faulty as they are, and they either extend me the same grace i extend them, or they leave, and that’s on them. same with followers and readers and everything else.

i’ll have to remind myself of all this again and again and again. probably for the rest of my life. but at least i’ve learnt what it is i need to learn. now to implement it.

#kaatiba.speaks #to keep

2 notes · View notes

indigo474 · 11 months

Text

May 25th 2023- a little bit better than i use to be-

so much so much so much- i really should write more. i read a news story today about kids being neglected and abused. why are people so horrible? those poor babies- it makes me sad. exactly why i don't watch the news. i had someone in work tell me "they " are shooting people on 95. Really? I had no idea. she looked at me in disgust and said you really need to be more informed. I don't need to hear and read about what a fucked up world we live in to know what a fucked up world we live in. Being informed makes me sad and scared- 2 things i am trying desperately not to be. Work is going good. it's so much nicer going to work as the boss-so much better. My boss- the Ice Queen, likes me. I can tell and i am grateful. We are going out shopping together for the company picnic. I'm in charge. HA. People dislike me for doing my job. A lot of people are incapable of taking responsibility for their actions. they blame me for doing MY job- the truth is- if they did their job- i wouldn't have to do mine. the Ice Queen is MOODY- I'm not sure if she is still drinking- she tends to hide in her office.

I should be getting my check-any day now. i asked MAds if she would mind moving out of our town. she's open to it-as long as we are safe and happy. i don't want to leave this town.. but i have to do what is best for me and if i cant find a place to live-- BUT i keep telling myself that SOMETHING wonderful is going to happen and the PERFECT place will be mine- i have to believe it. whats that saying- whats meant for me is mine- whats meant for me won't pass me by-

James went hard on me tonight. My knee pain is gone- i started taking a supplement- i use to take it and stopped and just started again and it works. i finally mentioned to james that during my cycle its harder to lift. Because it is- there is a huge difference. it wasnt weird to him. yeah its true- but we cant use that as an excuse- his words. tonight he upped everything-benched 105. i'm going to be sore tomorrow, i only squatted 175 this week. i need to get my ass into the gym and do my workout over the weekend. James shared a lot about himself tonight. he paid off his student loans, is getting a new car- not sure what kind- skipped a vacation with his buddies to Puerto rico because he lost 1200 on a bet- he even got out the dry erase marker and drew me pictures so i could understand what he was talking about. UFC and basketball- from what he said, and drew - it was just unbelievable how he lost the bets and he thinks its the universe telling him he shouldn't bet. he said it made him sick. he's a good person. i can tell. Kika was tired tonight- she didnt even bark when i walked up. she's such a good girl. we played a little.

my friend in work-the one who i think is on drugs and never talks about her husband. she told me her husband is dumb and useless. she's always saying she would be fine if she only had some xanax. dont say it dont say it. for months he same thing- i would be fine if i had xanax- dont fucking say it. if i had xanax i would be fine---- i know a dr. she use to see him, she called that afternoon and got herself an appointment. today she comes in and is talking so fast- too fast. i use the term friend loosely. this should be interesting- maybe she's right- maybe all she needs is xanax.

i spent all day last saturday watching porn and masturbating. i got myself a new vibrator - its dam near perfect. quiet -

im sure there is soooo much more to write about. i am tired. got my friday shift changed for the summer-every other friday im workiing 9-6. this will work out good- i can still run after work. the ice queen likes me-thank God- the right people like me-its more important i like myself-

0 notes

nirikeehan · 1 year

Note

Fic writer asks! 🌈, 💝, 💌

Thank for the asks! They come from this list if you would like to send me some or play yourself.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Hmm, there are some that I feel like I have to work on harder than others for various reasons – especially the really plot-heavy ones like Through a Glass, Darkly.

Also, since I write so much based off writing prompts for DA Drunk Writing, sometimes there are scenes that get written really quickly in order to post for the Friday event, and then later I go back and change a lot before they get posted to AO3. An example I can think of is the scene between Thom Rainier and Sera in chapter 3 of Kingdom Come where Sera is warning Thom that letting Thalia back into his life is a bad idea. In the first draft, she went along with his bullshit way too easily. Upon a reread, I thought she was too smart for that and rewrote most of the scene so that she wasn't buying his nonsense at all, and I liked it much better. 🤣 That's the scene that's on AO3 now.

I have tried to use DADWC to become less precious about my rough drafts and acknowledging it's okay to let the world see things in their WIP states.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

In terms of comments received, there is a scene in chapter 4 of Through a Glass, Darkly where Cullen and Thalia have sort of an argument about what to do next now that they've escaped imprisonment. Most comments I got firmly sided with Thalia. I always found that interesting because I deliberately tried not to make either of them seem obviously in the right (since my full legal name is Niri Moral Ambiguity Keehan 😅), but not many people wanted to cede poor Cullen any ground, for some reason.

As a pure numbers game, In Love and War racked up A LOT of views when it was just a two-shot mostly of heated conversations between Thalia and Samson, which sorta surprised me?? It outperformed my other short fics by a lot, until suddenly it was my 4th most popular fic, after two smutfics (the smut is always the most popular 🤷‍♀️) and Through a Glass, Darkly, which is my longest multi-chapter fic so far. That popularity was part of the reason I decided to switch it to a WIP and keep writing it... the other reason being I'll apparently take any excuse to pit Thalia, Cullen and Samson against each other in a variety of settings. 👀

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I've been in a bit of a dry spell, but I do have some of chapter 7 of Through a Glass, Darkly written. It's been a struggle since so much of that chapter is Thalia necessarily by herself, and I write way faster when there's multiple characters to bounce off each other. But here is Thalia trying to get back into the village Vivienne has taken over so she can get to the bottom of the weird stuff going on there.

Keeping to the underbrush, Thalia followed the line of the village walls. They had been poorly constructed, made not of sturdy masonry but lumber — hastily felled and erected by civilians, not craftsmen. They were high, at least, but she was hopeful she could find a weakness or gap to squeeze through. Or, barring that…

Thalia halted, eyeing the trunk of a large oak whose bare branches hung past the wall, looming over a thatched rooftop on the other side. “This could work,” she muttered.

She had always loved climbing. As a little girl, all too often the groundskeepers had to extricate her from trees against her will, having climbed too high for anyone else to reach. She had considered this an advantage, to get away from her older siblings. At the Circle Tower in Ostwick, climbing grew more difficult, more dangerous. The Templars didn’t like mages being up too high, for various reasons. The memory of Samson’s stricken expression stuck with her, forming a sour taste in her mouth. She tried to shake it, eyeing the oak’s trunk for the best way to approach. No, the Templars didn’t like when the mages climbed too high, but she did it anyway — way up into the old bell tower with her friends, so that they could see out over the bay and into the misty forest.

She sighed, approaching the trunk and grabbing a low-hanging branch. She tested a foothold on a protruding stump. All those friends from the Circle were long dead, she suspected. They’d left early in the war to join the rebel mages, and if the fighting hadn’t killed them, then surely Corypheus…

No use thinking about that now. Thalia hoisted herself into the tree, taking it as slowly as she dared. She might be spotted either way, and would rather feel confident than risk falling. Her companions on various field missions for the Inquisition had always found this habit of hers unsettling. If there was a ruin tucked into a thicket, or thought she could access a mine she might be able to access at the top of a mesa, she’d wanted to try reaching it. Most worried for her safety, like Blackwall and Varric…

Both dead too, probably. Only Dorian seemed to understand her delight and left her alone, though she rarely convinced him to follow her. I prefer the ground sturdy beneath my feet, thank you very much.

Her heart ached. How she missed Dorian. She missed them all, truth be told, none more so than Cullen—

She had reached the outer branches of the tree, the ones she might be able to shimmy over. Clinging to the trunk, she peered in every direction. The fog clogged the forest, and she saw no sign of Florentine. Over the wall, the village seemed deserted, as usual. The ground was muddy, the streets eerily quiet. The roof she hoped to reach belonged to a house that appeared equally lifeless. The thatch pitched at a sharp angle, but Thalia was sure if she could keep her grip, she could use it to ease herself down into a small alley between buildings.

She inched her way out on a branch, holding her breath the thinner it grew beneath her. Just as it began to bow beneath her weight, she leapt off from it. She used the spring to aid her trajectory, and landed on the side of the roof lightly. Her boots and hands scrambled for purchase, and due to the dampness, found none. Thalia stifled a cry as she slid toward the roof’s edge.

#ask meme #writing nonsense

0 notes