#100MonstrousPoems 100: Elves

It’s over! Here’s the very last poem of this year’s One Hundred Days of Poetry. Thanks to everyone who’s been reading these. If you’d like to see and hear these poems performed, check out this online event at the end of July. https://www.tickettailor.com/events/timralphsstoryteller/539642 You have forgotten us. That much is clearYou have a vague idea of beauty, maybe wisdomSometimes, there’ll be…

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#100MonstrousPoems 99: Wraith

A wraith is a spirit with unfinished business, whose body has not necessarily completely died. A somewhat premature ghost. There still so much I want to doMy life is through, but I am trappedHere, racked with agony, in bed. I’m not yet dead, but pretty closeWho knows when I will be releasedAnd whether I will still be here To strike fear into all the heartsOf those who wronged me in this…

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#100Monstrous Poems 98: Hel

I am the goddess of the hidden realmAnd who says that a god can’t be a monster?I’m Loki’s child, and no blood of the Aesir,Nor of the Vanir, runs within my veinsNo, I am not divine, and yet I reign.My brothers fared less well: exiled or boundBut I was just a girl: no threat to Odin!He saw my good side: beautiful, demure,And asked me what I wanted. So I told him“I want to be the queen of all the…

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#100MonstrousPoems 97: Jormungandr

I am the middle child born of chaos.A serpent big enough to threaten gods.Exiled by Odin, thrown into the ocean.I chase my tail around your little worldAnd wait for Ragnarok, when I will riseAnd eat the god who’s plagued me all my life:The thunder god, who hunts me, tries his bestTo drag me out and slay me. What have ISo deep under the water, done to him?I’m Loki’s son, but I am not my fatherHis…

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#100MomstrousPoems 96: Kraken

What I like to do when I’m bored is float.Like an iceberg, with most of me under the surface,And only the top of my head sticking out,Near a ship, and just wait for the sailors to notice At first they’re suprised and uneasy to learnThat they must be off course, though they can’t think whyAnd just as they’re all getting really concernedI wait till they’re watching, and open my eye. What a…

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#100MonstrousPoems 95: Jarjacha

The Jarjacha, according to Peruvian myth, is a human who has been cursed because they have committed incest. I’m not a human anymore.I don’t know when the change occurredSomething, that happened long beforeThese urges deep within me stirred Perhaps. Perhaps I always hadThe monster deep inside my soulAnd I was destined to be badIt’s not my fault, it’s just my role. But in the end, I know I…

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#100MonstrousPoems 94: Honey Island Swamp Monster

Daddy was an alligatorMama was a chimpAnd whatever else you say about herMama weren’t no wimp.She used to be a circus galUntil she ran awayFound daddy in the swampAnd then decided she would stay Now I don’t like to talk aboutThe way that I was madeBut most of the particularsYou’ve hit on, I’m afraidBut Daddy loved my MamaAnd my Mama loved him tooAnd in the face of romanceWell, what are you gonna…

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#100MonstrousPoems 93: El Coco

Although you cannot see meI’m right here, at your side.There is no point in running.There is no need to hide. For I am always waiting.I’m faithful, never fear:I’ll stick with you through thick and thin,I’ll always be right here. At least, until you’re bigger,For then I’ll leave you be:I’m never friends with grown ups, theyDo not believe in me. But you know that I’m with you,Just waiting for…

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#100MonstrousPoems 92: Duergar

When hiking the Simonside hills, come prepared.Wear boots of stout leather and thick woollen socksAnd a waterproof jacket, and plenty of foodKendal Mint Cake, perhaps, or some chocolate at least. These precautions will do you no good whatsoever:It’s just that you may as well bring something useful.We’re going to get you, whatever you doAnd we like Kendal Mint Cake, and stout leather boots. For…

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#100MonstrousPoems 91: Gremlin

We hide inside your aeroplanesAnd do all kinds of thingsLike loosening the wiringAnd rusting up the wingsAnd you should see your facesWhen your silly bombs get stuck!You want an easy time of it?Well then, you’re out of luck. Don’t take this the wrong way, old chaps,We don’t care if you loseThis bally war you’re fighting inBut we don’t pick and choose:We’re equal opportunity,And vex old Jerry,…

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#100MonstrousPoems 90: Tarasque

I was fierce and I was threatening, with spiky outer shell and poison breathAnd I made sure that the humans knew, to mess with me is always certain death.I knew that they outnumbered me so it seemed wise to have a reputationFor viciousness and deadliness, to keep them far away from my locationBut humans, I have very often found, cannot leave well enough alone.They decided that to make me meek and…

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#100MonstrousPoems 89: Faun

Not suitable for people who don’t like the word fuck. Sorry. Get one thing straight: I’m not a fucking satyrAnd fucking is the operative word.There’s a distinction, and it fucking mattersI know the fucking stories that you’ve heardOf fucking goat-men, lurking in the forestAnd fucking anybody they can findWithout consent. I get the fucking horrorsThinking of how I’ve fucking been maligned.But I…

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#100MonstrousPoems 88: Bonnacon

I’ve got sharp hornsLike any bullBut mine can’t goreAnd maim and killMy enemiesIn altercations:They’re more ofA decoration. Or perhapsThey’re here to say“That’s not a cowSo keep away”My horns point in,They’re quite uniqueThey tell you thatYour outlook’s bleak. For if I findI must defendMyself, I useThe other end.You want to fight?No problem, pal!I’ll just deployMy arsenal. I lift my tailAnd…

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#100MonstrousPoems 87: Nine-tailed Fox

You’d think it would be cumbersome.It’s really not. When I had oneMagnificently russet brush,I thought it beautiful enough.But with the years my wisdom grewAnd soon I’d grown another twoThen three, then four, then five, then sixAnd with each one, I learned more tricks.I found that I could change my formBe lizard, falcon, fish or wormI breathed the water, rode the windWent naked, feathered, scaled…

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#100MonstrousPoems 86: Gnome

We’re not all of us bearded old buffers with tall pointy hatsBut the way we’re depicted, of course you would never know that.You see, representation: it matters, and we’ve been done wrong.A gnome who’s not male, pale and stale doesn’t seem to belong. And the fishing rods! Where did that come from? It’s just a cliché!We’re not fishers, we’re miners! (well most of us are, anyway.)We are…

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#100MonstrousPoems 85: Troll

I can’t go outsideWhen the sun is too brightMy skin turns to stoneWhen exposed to the light I’m not very cleverAnd not very fastIn a contest of witsI will always come last I’m easily recognised:Ugly as sinYou’re not really in dangerFrom me and my kin So cross over my bridgeAnd explore in my caveSince the risk is so smallYou don’t need to be brave. I’ve got very sharp teethI can see in the…

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#OneHundredMonstrousPoems 84: Hulder

(Happy Pride month, by the way!) In Scandinavian folklore the Hulder are the hidden people. The descendants of the children Eve hid from God because she was ashamed of them being dirty. It’s possible you haven’t heard about meMy mum was a god-fearing woman. You seeAnd I’m talking hardcore: like, biblical guiltApparently, every last thing was her fault.Including us: some of my siblings and me.We…

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