#(and because i have A Plan i spent 4+ hours playing the same fucking thing yesterday because The Plan was not working skfjskjf)
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:: Ezolhrin | The Dark Urge ::
#baldur's gate 3#bg3edit#the dark urge#videogameedit#gamingedit#ezolhrin#videogames#bg3#ok LISTEN i love him so much (i'm making gifs!?)#he's the worst of the worst#he's going for maximum amount of murder. i even have all companion deaths planned out#....and he's my favourite of all the tavs/durges i've made so far#he's the first with a clear character concept and an idea of what i want to do rp-wise#first playthrough was just me fucking around#second was me fucking around as durge#third is me fucking around with friends#fourth was me fucking around while trying to be good and save all the tieflings for the trophy#this time i have A Plan and it's like playing a new game again#(and because i have A Plan i spent 4+ hours playing the same fucking thing yesterday because The Plan was not working skfjskjf)#*gif
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ROUND 4 MATCH 12: C!WILBUR VS. STAN
c!Wilbur Soot from the DSMP faces Stanley Pines from Gravity Falls. Who do you like more? obligatory @10piecechickenmcnugget tag because your man is RUNNING THE GAUNTLET
c!Wilbur Propaganda:
"Accurate depiction of mental health and spiral, handled delicately and deliberately, every piece of his story was thought and planned and in the end he went home to Utah. Thank you lord."
"Please don’t let the name dream smp effect how you feel about this submission, this character is completely unrelated to dream and I’m pretty sure the person who played him has nothing to do with dream anymore. This man single handedly got me through a horrible patch filled with extreme paranoia by also being extremely paranoid. Genuinely really helped me feel seen and I coped a lot by getting invested in this character. I almost cried when he died :("
"He’s so fucking stupid. I could infodump for hours this man transed my gender. Everything has gone wrong in his life. He’s the definition of a bisexual disaster."
"I didn’t fail 10th grade math bc I was thinking about c!wilbur for him to lose round one"
"I mean look at him!! his Minecraft skin is adorable!!!"
"if you people vote for cwilbur i'll draw him in a bikini."
"A VOTE FOR C!WILBUR IS A VOTE FOR GIRLBOYS EVERYWHERE"
"i should not have underestimated minecraft fans they came together"
64.media.tumblr.com
"Season 1 changed me. I didn’t know minecraft videos could have good acting, dramatic plots, etc. Wilbur was one of the best there. His plot was so interesting with the L’Manburg and the unfinished symphony arcs. He was funny, dramatic, sad… I fondly remember my dsmp days (though I only saw up to like part of Tommy’s exile)"
Stan Propaganda:
"from the same creature that submitted ford and was too tired for actual propaganda. they’re pretty cool huh"
"That propaganda is disgraceful but I'm also too tired to write up any big things for it"
"Hi that lack of propaganda for Stan Pines is offensive to me personally so here's some fun stuff:
He's punched zombies AND an all-powerful demon to death for the sake of protecting his family. He spent thirty years trying to turn on a portal to the Multiverse to get his twin brother back. He still thinks sacrificing his entire being is all that he's good for, and that makes my heart so sad. He loves his family and his family loves him. He's a silver fox. He also punched a pterodactyl in the face because he felt so bad about lying to his niece and getting her pet pig kidnapped that he had to fix his mistake (and yes, he did get the pig back). His nemesis was a ten-year-old child psychic whom he knew was a fraud because the kid didn't even realize his name wasn't actually Stanford.
Man of all time. Character of all time."
#polls#dsmp wilbur#c wilbur#wilbur soot#wilbur dsmp#dsmp#gravity falls stanley#stan pines#gruncle stan#stanley pines#gravity falls
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How about Easy A for Clexafication? I could see Clarke trying to help out a fellow gay by telling other kids in school that she slept with him. And then, thanks to her loud mouth friends, it gets out of hand with her trying to help out other guys and she gets labeled the school slut even though she’s never slept with anyone. At first Clarke leans into it and plays up the slut bit but soon realizes that it’s all too much. Her actual crush Lexa seems to be the only person who doesn’t believe the rumors. I see Lexa as the school mascot (the warriors) and she does the whole warrior getup with black eye makeup and riles up the crowd at pep rallies. Lexa also works at a local seafood restaurant where she dresses up like a pirate which is also a look that Clarke quite enjoys. Eventually the truth comes out and Clarke and Lexa become everyone’s favorite couple at school.
Ahoooo do I have a cavalcade of HCs for an Easy A au 👀.
First of all, they'd be childhood friends. The kind with weekly sleepovers and even a joint a 5th birthday party one year (despite their birthdays being 3-4 months apart, much to their parents dismay. But they insisted.) I'm talking the childhood friends who practiced witchcraft in each others backyards (potions of mud, cool lookin rocks, and leaves. Highly dangerous stuff), who learned to ride bikes together, who caught fireflies in glass jars together, who promised to grow up and get married to each other 'cuz boys are yucky' kind of friends.
And then middle school happened. And they both kinda went their separate ways.
Well.
More like Lexa grew into her own person. Doing things like joining the girls basketball team. And then volleyball. Even ruining their weekend plans with track and field practice one too many weekends in a row. She started branching out in her interests and making new friends, and left Clarke totally behind. Or so that's what Clarke has always thought (more on that later)
Cut to high school and they haven't spoken to each other in years. Not since about 3 weeks into 6th grade. There's no animosity or anything, it's just... They're strangers who occasionally wave and smile at each other in the school halls. Lexa way more often than Clarke ever does, but it's not like anybody's keeping a tally. Right? Because it doesn't matter because they don't know each other anymore. Clarke doesn't even really recognize Lexa as the same girl who used to wear matching Mutant Ninja Turtles pj shirts with her and stay up late staring at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on her bedroom ceiling while they talked for hours. Now Lexa is like, Ms. High School with all her Track and Field trophies and her badass Warriors mascot credentials (the pauldron, plastic sword, and warpaint coming across much more threatening than their old mascot, The Raccoons 😕 (tho there will always be something to be said for their freshman year when Lexa was forced to rally in the overstuffed costume while menacingly rubbing her lil raccoon-y painted hands together...)). That all has cemented her a seat at the Cool Kids Table.
Not to mention the fact that Lexa spent all of sophomore and junior year with her arm permanently attached to her (now ex) girlfriend's hip.
Not that Clarke ever cared. Or even noticed. So like, why did you even bring it up? ಠ_ಠ
Anyway.
So when her not-really friend but general acquaintance Monty asks her to... well, be his beard, Clarke agrees. In a way that, jesus fuckin hell, really got away from her faster than she ever anticipated. Because then Monty tells Jasper, and Jasper asks her to do the same, and before she even knows what the hell happened to this simple favor, everyone in school seems to believe that a painfully virgin Clarke is fucking the entire AV Club. And more.
It all spirals from there with the usual slut shaming and everything that goes along with society's hatred of women who have sex. It's only when her own best friend Raven/Wells (whichever, doesn't matter) turns on her - accusing her of being a slut and a liar and a terrible friend for not even telling them - that Clarke just says "haha Ok Fuck This" and goes all in.
Which. Whew. This is Clarke Griffin we're talking about. She's aware she's been blessed by puberty. So when she starts shaking her ass around school in tight jeans and corset tops, it has the exact effect she desires.
And then some.
More, in fact, than she had initially bargained for.
In the melee that follows of more guys bribing their way to be on the Griffin Bedpost Notches of Shame (and few a who missed the fucking memo that all of this is actually fake 😒), there is... Lexa.
Seemingly out of nowhere.
Where people had started parting in the hallways just to not touch her, Lexa seems to start showing up out of nowhere.
The smiles still come, and the friendly waves too. Nothing big. Nothing imposing, or like she wants something like everyone else. But then things like Lexa coming over to sit next Clarke during her break at the pep rally start happening (in her full Warriors getup to boot). Things like Lexa making little jokes to Clarke in passing. There's the moments when she asks Clarke if she's ok and offers her a ride after school, which Clarke always absently turns down. It's weird having Lexa back in her space again, but honestly, she's got too much on her plate to give it much thought. Because Lexa's just Lexa, and now Clarke's apparently the school slut, so... Their worlds are still very much divided.
Until eventually one night Clarke thinks she's actually going out on a date with a nice guy. I mean, she's known Finn since 10th grade. And he picks her up and opens the car door for her and everything. Like,,, this is most definitely a real date!
Except it's not, and he's a pervert asshole just like everyone tf else.
But thankfully, wouldn't ya know it, guess who happens to work at the very seafood/pirate themed restaurant that fuckboy Finn had decided on?
It's finally, FINALLY, in the quiet of Lexa's car when she parks them outside of Clarke's house that they actually talk. It starts with Clarke feeling like a fool for even thinking Finn could—... Not after everything. And Lexa of course does that thing she's taken to doing again. That calm, knowing, entirely too wise for her years kind of smile that Clarke still remembers from when they were kids.
Even in her ridiculous yet oddly attractive pirate's uniform (complete with a discarded eyepatch and clip on parrot) it's distractingly charming.
It's what has Clarke admitting that she doesn't know how she got into this mess. That she never meant to become this person. To which Lexa, in her infinite patience and wisdom, replies, "Clarke, you're still the same person you've always been. I know you. Nothing about you has changed."
Of course Clarke's dismissive answer to that is a smartassed, "Haven't you heard? I'm the school slut."
She can't help but smile at Lexa's laugh. "Actually, if I recall, you're the girl who once convinced me if I hung upside down by my feet from a tree, it'd help me grow taller."
"You can't say for sure that it didn't help," is Clarke's automatic response with a wave toward Lexa's general lanky, goddess-esque physique. Which earns her another laugh. Again, not that anyone's keeping a tally.
"True," is Lexa's response and, dammit, she's doing that all knowing smile-y grin thing again. "But you're also the girl who used to help me tie my shoes. And traded her pickles for my carrots. And taught me how to fold our secret notes so that nobody else could ever read them."
And, yeah, Clarke does remember that. Which in hindsight had been kind of stupid. It wasn't like they ever let their class time correspondence fall into the dastardly hands of anyone but each other, so the chances of interception were zilch making the whole exercise rather moot. But at the time it'd felt... important. Because what'd they'd had was only ever meant for just them.
What the hell even happened to those girls?
"You stopped answering my calls," is Lexa's simple reply. It doesn't even seem to hold any blame. "It was like... one day you just cut me out."
Which was not what had happened?
Was it?
Except, as Lexa gently explains that while, yes, she did start getting into sports, she still always tried to make time for Clarke. She did call and leave messages that kept going unanswered. Sent texts that more often than not were left on read. She'd ask Clarke to go to her games and track meets, sometimes would call her just to come out to eat with her and her teammates. But Clarke had always given her a disinterested promise for a million next times that never actually came.
Eventually Lexa just stopped trying because Clarke made it clear that she didn't like who Lexa was anymore. And it stings ten times worse because Lexa's doesn't sound angry or blaming. Just a little hurt. Maybe still a little sad even after all these years.
It's just one more thing to feel absolutely awful about. Like, she really is the universe's biggest asshole. She has no idea what to do with this revelation of her own failures, or the soft way Lexa keeps looking at her.
After that night things both change, yet stay completely the same. Because after that night when she'd apologized to Lexa and said she regreted doing what she'd done - that 6th grade her was an idiot. 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th grade her as well 🤧 - she was still the "school slut" and a social pariah, but she had her best friend back at least.
Her best friend who smiled her every time they passed in the hallway and sometimes walked her to class. Her best friend who now ate lunch with her and texted her on the weekends and would laugh at every single one of her jokes (fINE we're keeping a fucking a tally).
Her best friend, who when Clarke mentions is the only perso who talks to her without looking at her corset wrapped breasts, nonchalantly corrects, "Oh I look. Just... Respectfully."
It's hard to return the decency of that favor when Lexa walks away after leaning into Clarke's ear and whispering, "You know I prefer Ninja Turtles pjs anyway."
Clarke eventually comes clean about the whole fiasco, too the shock of everyone. Everyone, that is, except Lexa. Because Lexa kind of knew. Because, as Lexa says in all her glorious Warrior gear, when she kisses Clarke in front of the entire school at the end of the football team's pep rally—
"I told you, Clarke. I know you."
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Haunting Echoes of the Past CHAPTER 2 - Through Gojo's eyes.
Suguru and I spent 4 summers together. After graduating from high school, we decided to move in together. We were never close to our families; we were practically raising ourselves. I was the one who suggested it, and Suguru agreed immediately. The money was never a problem for me, I didn't have a family nor a home, but the elders of the clan made sure I was receiving something from them. Suguru wanted to work instead of using that dirty money, but I told him it would only complicate things, and we could be comfortable with that money, sooner or later I'd be useful for them, so this was their way of convincing me.
Our home days were wonderful. We'd kiss at every opportunity, as if in that moment we were the only ones left in the world. Suguru was everything for me. We never said the words "date" or "boyfriend", we didn't need them. I got used to his touch, to his lips, to his long black hair, to the curve of his eyes when he laughed, to his gently smile, his soft words, the way he called my name. Suguru changed his personality, and I changed mine, without noticing, we made each other better. He laughed and was nothing like the gloomy child he used to be back when I met him, I stopped wanting to hurt him, I would probably hurt myself instead.
I recognized the instinct that was part of myself could be hidden, lock in a cage where it would never go out again. I had angry issues that no one told me about when I was younger, Suguru was the first one that decided to help me with that, even when I hurt him when we met because of that. I was becoming a better person, because the one I cared about, my one and only, was there for me. Was living with me, was waking up with me in the same bed. And the first thing I'd see when I opened my eyes, was Suguru's sleeping face, with his beautiful hair falling down, part of it in his face. I developed the habit of tucking his hair behind his ears while grabbing one end with my fingers and then kissing it with my lips.
Suddenly, I was woken up of this dream. I was close to turning 20. Which meant things were going to change for me. The Gojo Clan had its own fucked up traditions, and my part was following their commands. The days of youth were over. Without Suguru noticing, I visited the clan in the old mansion full of luxuries and wasted money they had. I knew what was coming for me, for us. And I didn't want to face it. Didn't want to accept a reality in which Suguru and I couldn't be together. The truth is that I was a coward, and revealing myself against the Clan would be more dangerous than anything I could have imagined. To carry on the legacy of being someone with the Gojo surname would mean marrying a distant relative, having a progenitor, becoming an owner of one of the corrupt companies they run. To be unhappy at unimaginable levels, I would be someone I never aspired to be. But worse would be to put Suguru at risk. I knew better than anyone that the old men were crazy, playing with them would be worse than death.
Visiting the clan once a month was no longer enough. They wanted me to be under their roof every hour, sometimes without allowing me to return home. Suguru easily became suspicious, I convinced him for a while that it was a family matter that could not be resolved. I never told him the truth, that it was all about the engagement plans.
But I couldn't put it off any longer, every time I looked into his eyes, something inside me trembled with fear.
"Satoru, are you cheating on me?"
I paused for a moment, not knowing what to answer.
"Suguru, you don't have anything else to do, do you?" I laughed. But the atmosphere became uncomfortable, he did not laugh.
Our relationship was starting to change little by little, we were no longer on the same page as before. So many things were going through my mind, and I was hiding everything from Suguru.
Suguru didn't talk to me like he used to, he was distant. I felt like I was losing him more than ever. I told the clan to leave me alone, that I had my own home, and I was not going to serve them until the day I signed that document. I didn't care about meeting my relative, seeing the wedding clothes, the arrangements, nothing. I wanted nothing from them.
A few days later, I returned home at night without telling Suguru, but he was not there. I always thought he stayed at home when I was away. I didn't know where to find him, so I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning and that's when I heard someone opening the door. It was him. He was crying and his clothes were a mess. His lips were swollen, it was obvious what had happened. I didn't know how to react; I felt every part of me crumbling. Suguru just looked at me with despair and sadness, as he collapsed.
"Satoru..." Suguru said, barely being able to speak.
"What happened to you?"
"I tried. I really tried. I wanted to hurt you. I know it would hurt you if I was with someone else. I called Miguel, he kissed me without hesitation, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. I'm sorry."
I felt my blood heat up, I never liked Miguel, Suguru's childhood friend. I knew Miguel was in love with him. I despised him more than anyone. He had touched my Suguru, he had touched parts of his body that only I knew, he had kissed the lips that belonged to me. I felt something indescribable coming from me.
I lost my mind and went on top of Suguru, while he was helpless. My hands were around his neck, he was crying and could barely breathe. He looked pale, tears running down his face. Just seeing him like that made me want to kiss him. Devour him.
I kissed him like never before. I kissed him with rage, sadness, desire. It was a rough and filthy kiss, but he didn't stop me. I grabbed him with my arms and his legs were around my waist. We had to stop so we could breathe, then he kept kissing me. We walked towards the bed, I unbuttoned his pants and with one of my hands I started to take care of it. Then I kissed every part of his body. I moaned his name, and he moaned mine. We made sure we were touching each other's bodies. Then we did it for hours, until our bodies were exhausted, until the sheets were dirty and soaked.
When I woke up, Suguru was stroking my hair. He saw my eyes and gave me a light kiss on my cheek, one of those kisses that were so characteristic of him.
"Satoru."
"Mmh..?"
"Marry me."
"What nonsense are you talking so early in the morning?" I said with a yawn.
"We never talk about our future. About what we want to do."
He was right. We lived together and I have settled down for a life with him. Never knowing what he really wanted. Marriage. Marriage was nothing but a contract for me, something I was being forced to do. Not something I wanted. I never thought of marrying him.
"Listen, Satoru. It doesn't have to be now. Just take this."
We were lying in bed, wrapped in sheets. He stood up while still naked and I just admired him. He walked over and handed me a small box. Inside were two silver rings.
"These are promise rings. I bought them years ago. But you don't have to answer me now, I can wait to marry you for 5 or 10 years. It doesn't matter. I will wait as long as it takes. I want a life with you, to have a family, to see us grow old."
My breath stopped. Suguru had thought about this for a long time. After all, he was still the emotional of the two. Suguru was able to connect with people, to have friends, to be honest. Something I wasn't. He wanted us to be together for a long time, while I was visiting the clan on the sly, planning a future Suguru would not be part of.
I nodded. Then just kissed him. Not really wanting to talk more about it. I was afraid. My head was a mess, I could almost feel my hands shaking. I went to the bathroom before he could say anything.
It was 6 P.M. and Suguru was watching the sunset in a chair with the window open. Surprisingly, he was still rolled up in the dirty sheets we had used. I stood behind him and kissed his neck.
He was giving me a serious look. Something is wrong, I thought.
"You know, Satoru?"
"Mm?" I said as I put my face to his neck, wanting to smell his scent and kiss him.
"You have never said that you love me."
"Suguru, I know I didn't respond well to the marriage thing. But that doesn't mea-" He interrupted me before I could finish.
"I saw the invitation. You don't have to pretend, not anymore." he said while gritting his teeth, he was angry, but in his eyes, I could see the sadness he felt.
"What invitation?"
Then I saw it. An envelope from the Gojo clan.
It is with great pleasure and utmost honor that I extend warm greetings to you on behalf of the esteemed Gojo family. As esteemed patrons of tradition and excellence, it is with great joy that we announce the forthcoming union of our scion, Satoru Gojo, to the esteemed Akari Gojo.
The bond between Satoru and Akari is one rooted in mutual respect, admiration, and shared values, qualities that have long been cherished within the annals of the Gojo lineage. Their forthcoming marriage promises to be a celebration of love, commitment, and the timeless values that define our family's legacy.
As esteemed members of our social circle, your presence at this momentous occasion would add immeasurable joy and grace to the festivities. We cordially invite you to join us in celebrating the union of Satoru and Akari on X at Y, where we shall come together to honor the traditions and values that have bound our family for generations.
Your presence will undoubtedly elevate the occasion, and we eagerly anticipate the pleasure of your company as we unite in celebration and merriment.
With warm regards and heartfelt appreciation,
Representatives of the Gojo clan.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Suguru did not meet my eyes. I knew he was crying; his body was trembling a little, his breathing was quickening. I knew every reaction his body had when tears rolled down his eyes. I tried to get close to him, to hug him, I wanted to tell him that it was not what it seemed. But it was.
"Suguru..."
"WHAT THE FUCK, SATORU!" He screamed -something he never did. - "TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"
I tried to calm him down by touching his hands.
"Do. not. touch. me."
I didn't move for a while. But then he spoke again.
"Hah..." He chuckled. "You can't even say it. You can't say you love me; you are incapable of doing it."
"I-"
"Leave. I do not want to see you. The sight of you is a curse." he said with frustration, as he arranged his bangs back with the rest of his hair. He looked beautiful.
And then I left the house. He was hurt, once again, and it was my fault.
For hours I sat on a bench, looking at the sky full of stars. Waiting for time to pass and for Suguru to stop being upset, we would talk after things had calmed down, I thought. How stupid.
When I returned to our house, Suguru had taken all his things with him, leaving no trace other than his scent. On the table beside the bed was a letter and the promise ring that was his. I opened the letter; only three words. Words that made me tremble, that made me lose my sanity, words that I could not say to keep my pride.
#satosugu#geto suguru#ieri shoko#stsg#gojo x geto#jjk art#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu geto#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#geto smut#gojo smut#satoru gojo
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Two Hearts (finale): e.w x reader
warnings: none! calm chapter completely wholesome but kind of short ig?
writer’s note: this will be the last chapter. this is not intense so do not expect anything !! and sorry if it took so long.. when i say i’m busy with uni, i am. NOT PROOFREAD!
part 1- part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7
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Love is a confusing thing. Not everyone is blessed enough to feel this concept. You have always thought that you were incapable of doing so, that you weren't worthy. 'Cause all you felt in this life that you have lived was nothing but rejection which made you dense to the feeling of Love. And you knew, that Ellie was the same. You both were looking for the same thing. And it felt so good that you both were able to provide it for each other.
"In this life I have done nothing but love you." Ellie whispered.
The denial that was evident throughout was just a decoy for the intense love that couldn't be displayed. You both were cowards. You didn't accept the risk of losing someone who you spent your whole life with just because you loved them more than a friend should love another. Love is a confusing thing. You hoped to God that it would change for the better.
It did. It seemed like the whole world revolved around you and her only. You were deprived of love, Ellie knew that. Ever since you were a child you have done nothing but try to get the constant approval of your parents. You had done nothing but try to achieve the academic goals or even the career goals for no one but them and them only. The love that was lacking throughout your life, was provided by Ellie. And the love that was lacking through hers, were provided by you.
You were going to meet up with Joel, you had just put on something casual as the planned set-up would only be in a café. You decided to not outdone yourselves because you wanted the ambiance to be just perfect to announce you and Ellie’s relationship. To be completely honest, you were a nervous wreck. And Ellie didn’t seem to get that at all. But, the things that ran through your mind was just “what if he doesn’t like me for Ellie?” or “what if he thinks that i’m too full of myself?”
You gulped as you blankly stared at the mirror, your gaze travelling up and down your body as you were so unsure of how presentable you wanted to be. “You’re fine.” Ellie broke the silence as she stood behind you, her arms crossed. “Why are you so nervous? You’ve been with Joel ever since we were 5.” Ellie asked as she looked at you in to the mirror. “I don’t know. What if he doesn’t like me for you? I mean I wasn’t the best child at all, he always scolded me when we would play in the backyard and- what if hejustdoesntlikemeforyoubecauseimnotthegirlwhoheseesyouwith?” You rambled as your hands went their ways through the air as Ellie stared at you dumbfoundedly. Is that even a word? It’s probably possible ‘cause that’s the way Ellie’s feeling right now.
“You’re doing too much, seriously.” Ellie laughed as she stepped closer to you to hug you from behind. “You’re going to be okay. Like I said, you’ve known him your whole life.” You sighed at the reassurance as you melted under her embrace. You nodded as you accepted your “faith”.
A few hours later, you and Ellie had arrived to the café. You both got out the car, laughing as you both noticed that your breaths both hitched. You looked at eachother as Ellie pointed at the window, you followed her direction and saw Joel sitting quietly at the booth, reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. He never changed. You thought.
You and Ellie walked in the café hand in hand as you both walked up to Joel. “Hey..” Ellie said almost whispering as she caught Joel’s attention. “Hey kiddo. Oh have I missed ya.” Joel claimed giving Ellie an excited shit-eating grin. He stood up as he gave Ellie a tight hug, ruffling her hair in the process. “Fuck- JOEL!” Ellie groaned as they both laughed.
You stood there, admiring the two as your heart melted. You wished that you could feel like that again, but the last time you ever felt that way was when you were 8 years old. “Hey Y/n.” Joel said as he walked up to you and gave you a fast and soft hug. You always were awkward with eachother. “Hey Joel” You said giving him a soft smile. Ellie snorted, catching you and Joel’s attention. “Come on, you guys.” Ellie said patting the empty space beside her. You looked at Joel and he nodded giving you the empty spot next to Ellie’s as he sat in front of you both.
“Look, Joel. A lot has happened this past few months or years and i’m really happy to see you but… I have to tell you something.” Ellie said straightforwardly gripping at your hand under the table. “Throw it at me, kiddo.” Joel said as he smiled and leaned back against the booth couch. “Me and Y/n are together.” you all went silent as you looked at Ellie and Joel. It went quiet as it seemed like they were both trying to win a staring contest. Not until the silence was broken by Joel’s laughter. “Kiddo, that’s nothing new to me! I thought you both were already together before I left the goddamn country.” Joel said as he snorted laughing too hard at Ellie’s face. You observed Ellie as she had her mouth agape and staring blankly at Joel. “Oh, fuck you.” Ellie spat as they both laughed. “I’m happy for y’all. Really.” Joel reassured as he looked at you. “I never knew you had it in ya.” You blushed in embarassment as you gripped at Ellie’s arm. She chuckled and kicked Joel’s foot. “Sorry, sorry.. I was just sayin’ “
“It must be hard for ya, since ya know.. your parents.” Joel spoke hesitantly as he tried to look for any expressions on your face that were a sign of discomfort. There weren’t any. “I moved out a couple of years ago and I haven’t contacted them since.” You smiled as you fiddled with your hands. “That must’ve felt horrible, i’m so sorry to have brought it up kiddo.” Joel smiled.
“I think you’re great for Ellie. Really.” Your eyes widened as you realized the contradiction of what you had just said earlier and snapped your gaze directly at Ellie’s. Ellie smirked and gave you a look telling you “I told you so”.
“I have seen none in this life that I saw better for Ellie.” You softly smiled as you looked at Joel, waiting for him to continue his sentence. “I know that I might have not made you feel like I liked you, especially when you were a kid. But I know that no one made Ellie happier than you. I know you’re a great person, y/n.”
“And I know that ya might not have felt like you’ve been accepted. But i’m always here to also stand as your father. Ya know that right? I’m not always showy. Even Ellie knows that.” Ellie chuckled as she nodded. “Just know that i’ve always treated you as my own, babygirl.” Joel nodded as he reached for your hand. Tightly gripping it. “Oh, come on now. Don’t be a sap.” Ellie interrupted as you all shared laughters again.
“I am genuinely happy though.” Joel nodded as he both looked at you and Ellie. “You both are perfect for eachother.”
After the meeting, you felt euphoric. You were so glad that Joel loved you. But then again, there were no reason for him not to. Your behavior when you were a child was nothing compared to now, he admired your growth as a person and you knew that you would influence Ellie greatly.
“I love you.” Ellie blurted out. You looked at her with a confused look.
“I love you too. What’s wrong?” You chuckled as you seemed taken aback by the sudden exchange of iloveyou’s.
“I don’t know. I just felt like I haven’t said that enough.” Ellie looked down at her feet, fiddling with her hands. You frowned as you took a step close to Ellie, pulling her in to your embrace. “I just feel like I have wasted all these years in my life being a coward instead of feeling your touch and love like how i’m doing right now.”
You sighed as you cupped Ellie’s cheeks. “It’s not only you to blame you know? I was dumb too.” You laughed as you felt Ellie’s body soften with your touch.
You were in that verge too. You wanted to blame yourself for not accepting yourself sooner but you were still glad that you did anyway. You were happy that even though in the most darkest times… Like the times that you would ignore her because you were jealous or because you just didn’t want to talk to her because you were having another one of your crisis. She was still there. And it was selfish, you knew that. But you were glad that she was still there for you to claim as yours.
You could’ve never found that love for Xavier. He was just one of your facades that you had to escape to find the true happiness within. It was Ellie. And it will always forever be Ellie.
In this society, Lesbians have been nothing but fetishized. Always stereotyped to the point that you were scared of the oppression you had to face.
And that’s the thing you have always been scared of, society. It always seemed like it was you vs. 7 billion people in this world. But the truth is? you’re not alone. And in fact, you’ll never be.
You wish you could’ve just been like Ellie, she came out as a free woman without giving a fuck. And she always had that fighting spirit within that you wish you could achieve. But you knew deep inside that she was also struggling as much as you.
If loving you wasn’t considered as a sin, I would’ve loved you to my full potential.
If loving you wasn’t a part of being condemned, I would’ve married you and took you to the aisle of my favorite church and prayed that we would be eternal.
If loving you wasn’t wrong, I would’ve realized that it was you all along. And I wouldn’t have to be with someone that I knew I didn’t want.
I’ve lived with two hearts, the other one was loving you and the other one was pretending that I didn’t.
#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#the last of us#ellie x fem reader#ellie x y/n#lesbian#female reader#tlou#lgbtqia#tloufic#tlou2#tlou fanfiction
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5/31/23
Yep, it's late again. XD
What happened this time? I don't know... I kinda panic-rushed to start working on those prototype beads at... 2 fucking 30 in the morning. You know... as one does... And here I am, starting my journal at 4:44 AM, the birds filling the air with their cheerful song, the midnight blue of dawn slowly warming the sky.
The good news? I got a really cool design done on one of the beads. The bad news? My goal was to do 4 of them, and to Mod Podge at least one of them. And I clearly didn't. So... yeah.
The day just got away from me again. Like... ugh. It's just frustrating me. I seriously don't even sit down to have my coffee until like 5 PM, and I'm rarely done drinking coffee before 7. Where do the fucking hours go?!
Like... I barely spent any time in bed! I got up, I did yoga - the lower back and hip one I like - then I did a bit of a workout after, because I hadn't been doing them. I have this ritual of opening the window and then doing the coffee before yoga, so it steeps while I'm doing that. And then, after the workout, I go and make cereal and I sit down and... it's like 4:30. At least.
I mean... I did play Risk of Rain a bit... but just one run to go for an achievement, I don't think it took longer than an hour... Hmm... maybe that did take longer than I remember. Maybe that's the X factor. Hmm...
Welp... after all that, I went and showered. I put a clothes iron and a glass bowl to make another plant terrarium thing with in a cart on Amazon and never ordered it. I made dinner. I played music for a long time. I got really sucked into it too. I even opened Cubase and got ready to record and everything. But... I never pulled the trigger on it. Not until too late.
What's getting in the way? Twitch. I guarantee it. I'm just getting distracted. It's too fucking easy for me, it's so damn tempting. It's improv, it's comedy, it's drama, it's character-driven stories. How can I say no? I don't know, maybe I'm being a bit hard on myself.
I did an intense workout today, I snuck in some work hours late at night and I'm still kicking my own ass about not "being productive". <eyeroll> I need to chill with that shit.
The flowers really didn't have the same level of aroma tonight as they did yesterday... I wonder why that is?
Anywho, since it's so late, I'm just going to move along to tarot. And I'm counting this as work, because I honestly think I could give some good readings for people, and I plan to try in the near future on stream. I would offer in-person, but... I don't even have a table in my apartment. We'll see.
Past - Ace of Wands, inverted
(Inspiration, creativity, fresh ideas. The seed of confidence you need to embark on a new creative journey.)
Present - Six of Cups, inverted
(Nostalgia, memories, past relationships. Learning from and reconciling with the past, to create a better future.)
Future - IV: The Emperor
(A powerful, dominant, strategic and protective figure of great influence and reach. Symbolically, important changes, a shift in power, new responsibilities or authority. Adjacently symbolizes stability.)
I swear I shuffle and cut these every time. I even looked through the top of the deck to see if there were any other familiar cards from last night there. I guess these symbols are important!
So... last night we explored my connection between the Emperor in Past... and an inverted Ace of Wands in Present. Now we're looking at that inverted Ace of Wands as the catalyst. My inability to access my creativity: having creative block, me restricting or censoring myself, whatever the reason... That leads to a dysfunction in my ability to reflect on the past. Something gets fucked up there. Or... my nostalgia turns dark... That was the first thing I felt when I learned what the card meant. Like... how I struggle with nostalgia because... it's rarely good memories. It's like a minefield of trauma and painful emotions. So... I'm guessing my lack of confidence in my creative self can be a direct route to that. And... if that's out of whack? The Emperor comes out. I mean, why wouldn't he. He's the father figure, the protective guardian, the lord. And, in essence, that's not necessarily a bad thing... but... if we put that in the context of the reading last night about the Emperor having a strong tendency to cause inverted Ace of Wands to happen... That's a feedback loop right there.
When I struggle to connect with my creative spark, or lack the confidence to engage with it, I end up looking back to the Past in ways that are... not helping. Hopeless longing, or dreading, even spite. "I didn't used to be like this." "I never used to struggle like this." "I used to have friends to help with this." Shit like that, which just sends me spiraling into all the shit that comes with those memories, all the attached nightmares, all the ghosts haunting those houses. And the reaction to this? The Emperor comes out to keep order. The "alright, what's going on here, we're supposed to be working, right? How productive have we been today? What's on the whiteboard? You can think about that stuff later if it's important" voice. And he's good at keeping emotions at bay... for the moment... But what last night said was... when he comes out... it tends to actually either reinforce or even cause a blockage between me and my creative spark. Or, at very least, my confidence to take creative risks. And this can result in a great outpouring of emotion. Ironic, eh? XD
Welp... that's a bit of a cluster fuck, isn't it? Hmm... so... if there's anything I've learned this week. I gotta work on my inner parent. I need to let myself wander a bit more, and be okay with a few days of meandering. I need my inner parent to focus more on... constructing larger scale plans. Like... some form of day structure... like developing strategies to get to bed earlier, constructing hypothetical scenarios where I'm working and enjoying myself, finding ways to get me outside more. Shit like that. And less... self-policing. If I had a good foundation, a healthier framework, I wouldn't need to self-police at all. So... that's my solution. Instead of going "oh no, don't ever listen to the Emperor" or whatever... to give little tweaks customized to how I know my personality works. Something that seems doable.
But for now, I'm off to bed.
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Hidden Desires
Please reblog if you like it.
Content: enemies to lovers, neighbors, modern au, season 4 Eren, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, a little fluff, mutual pining, Eren is mean.
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x (fem)reader
Word count: 11.0 k
Summary: you and Eren have known each other since you were little, but you never really got along and he would always let you know just how much he despised you. What if you were both just good at hiding?
Content warnings: nsfw and dark content; verbal abuse; manipulation; toxic relationship; explicit language; smut: (spit kink; cheating; choking; dumbification; dom eren; size kink; creampie; degradation kink; praise kink; dirty talk; nipple play; mouth fucking; cunnilingus; fingering; overstimulation; orgasm denial; hair pulling; slapping.)
author's note: this is the first story I write and post here on tumblr, so I hope it is to your liking. I'm planning on posting stuff here from now on because I have a lot of ideas and I'm sure they will get appreciated here, that's why I decided to create my own blog. English is not my first language so I would appreciate if you guys could tell me when something's wrong, and also please give me your opinion on the work, it's important to me. Hope you like it <3
You were never good at making friends, let alone keeping them. You were never too smart, too beautiful, too athletic, too extroverted, quite the opposite of all these things actually, but you never paid it any mind, at least not unless he started to make you notice. You had known him all your life, your parents were friends since high school and yours were his dad's patients too now, given that he was a doctor, and a hell of a good one too.
Grisha had saved your life back when you were four and a weird pneumonia had almost killed you, you could safely say you wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for the fact that he had immediately sensed something was out of the ordinary. If he hadn't noticed right away, you would probably breathe without a lung now or be attached to a machine in a hospital, which would eventually end with your parents deciding to end your suffering.
You met Eren soon after you recovered from all of it, because his parents had forced him to come to your house and introduce himself to you, claiming that a good company was very much needed for the little boy. If there was something you two had in common, it was definitely the fact that he too wasn't good at approaching people, although it was for different reasons.
You were too scared of rejection to ask a kid to play with you or be your friend, too afraid they would make fun of you and also too introverted and anxious to even try at all. Eren on the contrary wasn't afraid at all, he just thought pretty much nobody was worth of his time, because he had always seen the world in a different lighting since he was little.
You almost feared the way Eren's brain worked, even when he was a kid he would think in a much more mature way compared to the others, and for as much as it made you curious, he didn't seem to be impressed by you either. He was always playing alone, while you watched him silently from your window hoping he would come and ask you to join him, but it never happened, not spontaneously at least. When his ball entered your open window once, he had to knock on your door and ask for it back, so your parents had used the occasion to tell you to go out and play with him.
You were six back then, and still nothing had changed two years after you had met him. You could read it on his face, the disgust, and it made you sick to your stomach but you couldn't deny the offer your parents had made, because you didn't want them to be disappointed in you. You played together for an hour maybe, before he told you you weren't good at it and you said you were sorry for it. Every day after that was spent the same way, considering that both yours and his parents were sure you enjoyed playing with each other, even if it wasn't for more than an hour.
You stopped playing with the ball at fourteen, which was the period his parents started to stop by your house for dinner every sunday, and force Eren to stay in your room while they were preparing the food. He was always quite, and you were always nervous. He was an attractive kid, and if it wasn't for his arrogant ass you knew he would have all the pretty little girls at his feet, if he didn't already. He never paid any attention to you, never complimented your hair, your dresses, your first attempts at makeup, nothing.
You thought it was because he just wasn't the type to do such things, you didn't want to admit to yourself the possibility he could actually just hate you and find you annoying, so one day you gathered some courage and just asked him.
"Why won't you ever talk to me?" you had asked, and he had scoffed in response before giving you an actual answer.
"Because you're boring, and we have nothing in common. I could never be friends with someone like you." and then you spent the rest of the night trying not to cry at the table.
You didn't understand what was wrong with you, and you didn't know why he had decided you didn't have anything in common when he never bothered to ask about the things you liked in the first place. Did he know you liked the ocean? Did he know you liked dreaming about travelling around the world in a camper? Did he know you liked rainy days more than sunny ones because you had an excuse to stay at home without people bothering you about it? Did he know you wanted to work as a hostess to have the opportunity to always be up in the sky? Did he know you knew a lot about the universe because the books that talked about it were the only ones you liked to read?
He didn't, and he didn't even care about knowing it, because you were irrelevant to him. You were sixteen when you had your first fight, because he found you looking at a book in his room without his permission and he had lost his mind.
"I'm sorry Eren, but I had the same book and I noticed the cover. I didn't want to go through your stuff." you had said, lips trembling because you were scared to hear what he would say in response.
"I don't care, keep your fucking hands to yourself. I don't even want you in my room to begin with, and if it weren't for my parents I wouldn't even talk to you." he had ripped the book away from your hands as if they were filthy.
"What did I do to you? I just thought it was cool we had something in common after all, why are you so angry?" you didn't understand his intentions, but it was pretty clear he wanted to be as far from you as he possibly could, you just couldn't accept it yet.
"I don't want you to think we share something, we don't. You're fucking annoying and the sole sight of you makes me nauseous, no wonder you don't have any friends. Now get the fuck out of my room." he wasn't even screaming, he just looked annoyed and his eyes seemed dull.
You wondered if he knew the pain he had caused you over the years, because it absolutely didn't look like it and you were trying to convince yourself he wouldn't have said those things if he was aware of the storm they would create in your mind. He had influence over you and your thoughts, and you didn't even notice it until you found yourself crying in the bathroom a month after your argument, tears streaming down your face while you tried to convince yourself you were just having a normal breakdown and not one over the words he said or the way he treated you.
Truth was, you were bothered and frustrated by it, but you would go to hell before admitting it, so you just kept going and pretended to be unfazed by everything he did or said from that moment on. So now you were eighteen, a full woman with different desires and different ambitions, and Eren was no longer a major factor in your life, or so you thought. Reality was, every time you saw him park his car and enter his house with a girl whose name still remained a secret to you, you felt absolutely horrible.
Stomach twisting and heart racing, blood pumping in your ears and you tried to tell yourself it was just because you found the sight of him absolutely terrifying and not because you were somehow jealous of the blondie keeping him company every single day. You never saw them kissing outside, but you figured it was because he didn't want you to see and know about his business.
You hated the way he had grown to be even more attractive, broad shoulders and a lean figure, accompanied by mid-length brown hair and jaded eyes that glanced at your window any time he saw your shadow, if only you knew. Honestly, the hate and the frustration you felt were reciprocated by him, and he despised how good you looked now, it made him laugh that you probably still considered yourself ugly or not worthy.
It made him laugh, yet it made him also want to yell at you for how stupid you were for wasting your potential that way and thinking so poorly of yourself, so he just left it all to your - again - awfully stupid excuse of a boyfriend or whatever he was for you. He knew he couldn't say anything to you, he had always treated you so bad and was probably the reason of a lot of your insecurities, besides you two hadn't talked in months and he didn't know anything about your life anymore.
He was aware he had been the one to tell you to let him alone, but he hated the thought of other people having some sort of power over you, of not knowing who your friends were, who you were fucking, who you were seeing. Not only that, but he wanted to have an influence over you, you couldn't just ignore him like that, it made him feel angry and irrelevant and he knew he wasn't, not for you at least, because he saw the way you still looked at him from your silly window.
He knew he looked good, and he knew you hated it because you could never admit it to yourself. He wanted to make you crumble, see your lips tremble again because of him, he wanted to mean something to you, whatever that could be. He needed to have a place in your life again, even if you didn't want him to or he had made you think otherwise, so he was going to take it.
Eren was a lot of things, stubborn and passionate being the features that stood out the most amongst the others, and he was always able to take what he wanted, he was going to do the same with you this time; so when you went out to wait for your boyfriend to arrive and pick you up - since he had promised you a dinner together considering he never had time to see you, apparently - he was waiting for you on the bench you would usually sit on.
You thought about it for a minute before sitting beside him, but you didn't want to act childish and you didn't want him to think he had the power to bother you somehow, so you sat down and whispered a shy "hi".
"Waiting for your boyfriend?" he asked, and you would see his smirk if only you wouldn't be so stubborn and turn your face to look at him.
"Yeah." there were words lingering on your lips, but you decided to keep them for yourself for the moment.
"I never see him a lot around here, does he give you enough attention?" he was talking like he was speaking to a little child, elbows resting on his knees while he kept his face up with the palm of his hand and observed you.
You tensed up, he could see it in the way you were stumping rhythmically your foot on the ground, while your hands moved up and down your thighs, rubbing against your skin, uncovered because of the little cute white skirt you were wearing. You considered lying to him, but he was in no place to ask that question to begin with, so you thought it was better to remind him that instead.
"I don't think it should concern you, it's none of your business." and he scoffed. He fucking scoffed. Did it really come so natural to him? This all 'making fun of you' thing?
"Sounds like he doesn't. Poor princess can't even get her boyfriend to treat her right? What a shame, you really didn't change after all." he spat out like nothing, words like venom entering your brain and making it stop working.
Why was it always so easy for him to find the right way to hurt you? It was as if he knew you like a book, and he just had to rip off the right pages. Or like you were his voodoo doll or some shit, and he always pocked at you with a needle where he knew would hurt the most.
"I did change. I no longer have time for your bullshit, Eren. I'm tired of this." well, if he thought you were going to run away crying your eyes out, then he was most certainly wrong. Now you were even facing him, eyes narrowed while you scanned his stupid face and he grinned.
"Tired of what? Me telling the truth and you not accepting it?" he spoke like you were stupid and he had to make sure you understood what he was saying, and it fucking bothered you.
"You're not telling the truth, you're just being an asshole because that's the only thing you're good at." you were fully angry now, talking through gritted teeth while trying not to go any further.
"Yeah? Looks like your boyfriend's not any less of an asshole than me, considering that you've been here for twenty minutes already and he hasn't shown up yet." he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders before leaning over the bench with his back.
"Maybe he's taking his time fucking someone less boring than you, and he'll come here right after just because he pities you." he turned around again, teal eyes looking at you. "Can't say I wouldn't do the same." and he smirked.
You couldn't say much this time though, he had hit all the right spots and you hated him so much for it. You had the feeling your boyfriend had been cheating on you for a while now, and his delay that day didn't help your suspicions at all. Still, Eren's words hurt for a reason much more personal than the all cheating thing, because he made it seem like it was your fault, and you already had too much on your plate to overthink again about yourself, but Eren had always been good at reminding you just how useless and worthless you were.
You didn't have much of a comeback for him this time, he had only helped your insecurities resurface and you didn't want to risk start crying right in front of him, which was probably what he looked forward to, so you swallowed your pride and got up, not saying a word to him on your way back to your house.
You heard a "Guess I was right" before opening the door and leaving him behind once you were inside, and you finally took your time to call your stupid partner and ask him where he was. He preceded you though, because as soon as you were about to click on his contact and call him, your phone lit up with a notification.
babe, I'm so sorry but I can't make it today. Busy day at work, see you tomorrow.
And you just knew it was an excuse, you knew it yet you still answered with a 'don't worry, see ya' because you were in no place to start that argument at that precise moment, when Eren had already played his twisted games on you. Still, the emotion that oppressed you more than sadness at that point was rage, pure and genuine, and you felt the need to go back to him and make him pay for all the sick things he had told you during the years.
A part of your mind tried to suppress it, and you spent a good two minutes taking deep breaths and holding your purse tight, but every time his face flashed in your mind, it made it more difficult for you to keep your cool, to the point you decided to go back to him, hoping to find him outside.
And there he was indeed, manspreading on the bench with a cigarette between his lips, relaxing under the chilly sun of April. It made you so mad, seeing how unfazed he was, it made you want to destroy that apparent peace, made you want to see him upset because of you, so you got close to him again and threw your purse beside him, before positioning yourself right in front of him.
He raised his eyes to look at you, taking his time to observe your expression and he could just tell how mad he had made you, and it made his body shiver in a pleasant excitement. He smirked at you, extinguished his cigarette with his foot and stood up, towering over you with his stupid face, hands in his pockets. Even his posture made fun of you, it was hilarious, really.
"What's wrong? The princess broke up with the prince?" he tilted his head slightly, a fake pout on his face.
"Stop calling me princess, and act like a fucking adult. You think you're all that, but you're just a cocky piece of shit who needs to put other people down to feel better about himself, am I not right?" you were the one grinning this time, and you must say, you quite enjoyed talking back to him after years of absorbing his shit.
"And even if we did break up, that would be none of your goddamn business. You spent years talking shit about me and suddenly you wanna know what happens in my life? Fuck no, go back to your blondie Jaeger." you were too busy assaulting him with your rage filled words to notice immediately what you had said, but he wasted no time.
"My blondie you said? You mean Historia?" he laughed after a second, looking at you with pity.
"You know," he started, getting closer and placing one of his long fingers under your chin "I see you every day, looking at me from your little window" he was lowering his voice dangerously now, his nose just inches apart from yours.
"I know you're obsessed with me, you've been since we were little kids." he moved his digit from your chin to the apple of your cheek, tracing it down to your neck right after. What was going on?
"I'm not obsessed with you, stop touching me." you placed your hands on his chest, trying to increase the space between you two, but your shaky breath and your high pitched voice told him otherwise. Reality was, you couldn't believe Eren was this close to you, touching your face like that while you tried hard to keep your composure under his taunting gaze.
"Then why are you always watching me, mh? And why did you even bring Historia into this if you don't know anything about us?" he had you trapped, and your mouth was beginning to feel dry because of his hand shifting from your face to your wrist, keeping it in a grip while your hands were still on his chest.
"I always see her with you, thought she was your girlfriend, that's it." there was nothing wrong with assuming he would be in a relationship with the girl who's always entering his house, right? But again, you were just confirming the fact that you did look at him from your window. Was it a crime though?
"Nu-huh, we just fuck from time to time." he shrugged his shoulders, like he had just said he was going to buy some groceries.
"Seems to me like you fuck every day." now it was just your rage talking again, but you couldn't keep quiet forever, could you? It bothered you, knowing he was in fact fucking someone else, even if you had already imagined. You felt stupid for having this constant need to feel appreciated by him even after years of him treating you like shit, but you couldn't keep your feelings in a cage forever, and you knew that.
"Why? Does it bother you princess?" he was laughing at you again, bringing his face closer to yours while keeping your hands firm in place.
Was it the way he smelled, the way his collarbone was exposed and tempting, or the way he looked at you and talked to you that made you feel so incredibly...aroused?
"Of course not, I don't care who you're fucking or how much you do it." you were sure you looked at least partially convincing, but he saw it on your face and heard it in your voice, the way you were oh so clearly lying to him.
"Don't lie to me, it's so obvious when you do it." he was testing you, a lopsided smile plastered on his face. You didn't want to confirm his thoughts and play his games tho, so you took a step back and detached your hands from his chest.
He was quick to grab both of your wrists this time, and bring them right where they were again. He laughed, because you had just proven his point and you also knew damn well you didn't mind the situation you were in, yet you hated yourself for it.
"He's not coming, is he?" he whispered in your ear, hot breath fanning over your skin and tickling it.
You gasped at the proximity, trying to find the strength to answer as he smirked at your vulnerable state, you were molding under his gaze, his voice, his hands.
"Why do you care?" You asked it because you didn't want to give him the satisfaction to know he was right yet, but you were also yearning to understand just why he was so curious with anything concerning you or your life. You were craving for a positive answer from him, even when deep inside you knew you weren't going to get it.
"No particular reason. I just think it's funny." he shrugged his shoulders and looked down at you, searching for a reaction.
"And what's so funny about it?" raising your brow, you tried to give him the same energy back, but Eren knew he was going to win the game, and you were probably aware of it too.
"It's funny how you tried to forget about me with someone like him, you could have done better." his voice was lower, hoarse and haunting you. Your whole facade almost fell down in a second at his words, but you were capable to pull yourself together immediately. After all, that's what you had done for years when it came to him and your feelings.
"Don't be so full of yourself, I could never like someone as shitty as you." you spat out, teeth gritted together as you held his gaze.
He chuckled in response at your bravery, moving his hand only to trail his knuckles over your cheek, "Oh but you do, you always have." he smiled softly, as if he was talking to a dumb little kid, "Don't think I didn't notice the way you looked at me, or how you got in that pretty red dress every time you and your parents came to have dinner at my house just because I liked the color." you opened your mouth immediately at his statement, desperately looking for something to say and deny his words, but your breath got caught up in your throat.
"I enjoyed it, you know", he moved a lock of your hair behind your ear, lowering his head a little. "seeing you getting all dressed up for me, it made me feel special." you couldn't find it in you to stop whatever he was doing, cause you were finally getting some recognition from him and it felt too good.
"I even liked your books, and the stupid bracelet you made for me, I still have it." that had been your mom's fault, forcing you to make Eren a pearl bracelet when you were fourteen because she knew you liked him and thought that was going to bring you guys closer. It didn't of course, he had taken it just because your mom was right there with you when you gave it to him, but it was also true that he had never told you anything bad about it, you just thought he had thrown it away.
"Remember that time you kissed Armin when we were seventeen? I stopped coming to your house right after." he looked more serious now, his hand was still on your shoulder while he waited for you to answer. You just nodded in response, not sure of where he was going with the conversation.
"I stopped cause I was jealous. I knew it was your first kiss, and the fact my best friend was the one giving it you fucking bothered the shit out of me, even if it was a stupid game." you didn't understand, didn't even know why he was telling you all this in the first place. Didn't he hate you?
"What are you saying? You treated me like shit, you can't be serious." brows knitted together, you were trying hard not to crumble and keep your cool, but years of rejection were coming down on you like a stone and he was telling you he actually..liked you?
"Stop messing with me Eren, I don't have time for this." you were practically begging him, although it was with different words. You were begging him to spare the last tad of dignity you had left, begging him to leave you alone and let you start over again with someone else, let you forget about him and everything he had said to you. You took a step back, then another one when he got closer again, and raised your arm to keep him distant.
"You told me I was annoying, boring, told me you didn't want to have anything in common with me." your lips were beginning to tremble, you knew what was coming next and that was why you wanted this to end quickly.
"Shit, you told me the same thing not even twenty minutes ago, remember?" you closed your hands in fists, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Said my boyfriend was fucking someone else, and that you would do the same if you were in his place." you knew damn well he remembered, but you had to be sure.
He seemed to be looking for something right to say, because he was carefully studying your face and your body language, deciding he could do a little more. "I wasn't lying, I really think he's fucking someone else." he took a step toward you, testing the waters.
"As for the last part," another step, you stayed still. "that was a lie." you couldn't move, couldn't keep your eyes off of him. "And I never found you boring, nor annoying for what matters. I was just stupid and couldn't face my feelings." he muttered, and it was like the ground beneath your feet had suddenly disappeared, leaving you to fall in the immense void underneath.
You couldn't believe what he had just said, couldn't trust him and didn't want to, because you couldn't risk him playing with your heart and tearing it apart all over again like it was fucking paper. You hated him for it, hated him for having all this power over you, while he suppressed a smile because he knew he had hit the right spot. However, Eren wasn't lying, he was seriously admitting his feelings towards you, just in a more sadistic way than most people are used to.
He liked seeing you so confuse and worked up because of him, because of his words and his voice and his look and his smell, he was aware of the fact no other guy could make you feel the way he did, especially now that he was giving you the appreciation and recognition you had always wanted from him. You felt stupid for the sense of satisfaction that was invading your body, from head to toe, mind and soul, but you also felt angry, and that's why you closed the last inch that separated you two and furiously hit his chest.
"You are a fucking piece of shit!" you screamed and he couldn't lie, you had caught him a bit off guard, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. "You knew I liked you, you fucking knew it and you treated me like I was garbage for years!" there were tears wetting your cheeks now, but you didn't notice and you wouldn't mind even if you did.
"You and your stupid ego ruined everything, you ruined me for god's sake!" he let you hit him, figured it was the right thing to do and something he deserved after the years spent degrading you. Then you stopped, grabbed the fabric of his thin shirt in your hands and leaned your head over his chest to avoid looking at him.
"I tried so hard to be good enough for you, I wanted you to like me." you were a whiny mess, crying against him yet still holding onto him. He placed his hand over your head, stroking your hair without saying anything. He had you again, wrapped around his fingers and crying for him. He didn't enjoy the fact you were hurt, but he did like knowing he still had so much power over you, and he just had to make sure you wouldn't let anyone else see you like this.
"I wanted my first kiss to be with you, wanted my first time to be with you." your voice was lower, you were basically whispering. "I hate you, I wish I never met you." you raised your head and looked at him. The mascara had stained your skin, your lip gloss was gone and your eyes were still watery, lips swollen because you had bitten them in frustration. You looked fucking beautiful.
"If you have to be with an asshole then I'll make sure it's me." he smiled mischievously, and if it wasn't for the fact you didn't believe in that kind of stuff, you would have thought you had damned yourself by falling for a demon. "No one else can treat you like this, no one else can make you cry." he brushed his thumb under your eyes, then moved it to your bottom lip.
"Forget about your stupid boyfriend, you were mine from the start." he grabbed your jaw, made sure your gaze was fixed on him while he told you who you belonged to. Your mind was spinning and you felt so dizzy you were convinced you were going to pass out sooner or later, you didn't think what was happening could be real.
You were aware of the fact he had you trapped, from the first moment you two had met, and he was aware of it too. Likewise, you knew that you would leave your boyfriend right away if it was what he wanted and if that really meant you were finally going to be with him, but how could you trust him so quickly? He had made fun of you for years, and it was probably what he was doing now, he just wanted to prove to you that erasing him from your mind and your life was just impossible.
You were being so stupid, so dumb for even taking your time and listen to him as if he was going to actually take care of you and make up for all the times he had made you feel like shit. You didn't want to give in, yet you knew a part of you already had, although you did want to put up a fight first, to not make it easier than it already was.
"I need to go back home," you tried to be calm and collected, but your lips were still trembling and Eren could see it. "'s too much, i'm sorry" you weren't sure what you were apologizing for, but he softly moved his hand away from your face and put it back in his pocket, giving you space by taking a step away.
"My parents are away for the next three days, and I'm staying in tonight," he started, voice much more gentle and sincere than before, he was damn good at this. "you know where to find me." instead of leaving you there, he watched you until you were back to the front door of your house, and you gave him a last look before entering it.
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It had been two days since your last discussion with Eren, and you still hadn't figured out what you needed to do. You were spending time doing chores and all types of homework while trying to make some peace inside your mind, but his teal eyes kept haunting you and deep inside you knew you didn't want them to go away and leave you alone again.
On the other hand, Eren had constantly checked his phone and your window, hoping to find either a text from you or see you looking for him from the glass. But he didn't, your window was covered by the curtains inside your room and you hadn't sent him anything. He wondered if he had gotten it all wrong, if he had miscalculated something and he wasn't going to get you back as he hoped, but then his cocky attitude never failed to convince him you were going to knock on his door at some point.
Your boyfriend (or whatever he was at that point) hadn't answered to your texts since the previous morning, and you knew he was probably going to find a lame excuse for it, but you didn't care anymore. Your relationship had ended a long time ago, longer than you'd want to admit, and the situation with Eren had only confirmed it wasn't right to keep it going, so you were most definitely going to break up with him during the week, or as soon as he messaged you back.
You felt almost sick when you got up from your bed and took a look in the mirror, face bare of makeup and only a big tshirt covering your body. You wanted to see Eren so bad, wanted him to tell you again that you were his, and you were from the start. You wanted him to appreciate you, inside and out, wanted him to make you forget about everything else and fulfill your hidden desires, you wanted it so much.
That's why you suddenly got ahold of yourself, brushed your teeth and fixed your hair, put on a lacy lingerie set and finished the look with a large sweatshirt, because you didn't want him to think you had worked hard on it, even if you had. You dwelled over it for a moment before actually gathering the courage to grab your keys and walk to the other side of the road. You hoped he would be alone, and you almost decided to escape when he didn't open the door in a few minutes after you had rung the bell.
But there he was, wet hair caught in a messy half bun, usual chain hanging from his neck over his simple shirt, and he was wearing a pair of shorts under it. "Sorry, had to put something on before opening the door." he smiled at you and invited you inside. You hesitated only for a second before going in, nervously fidgeting with your fingers. Why was he so pretty?
"I thought you were gonna party tonight, it's saturday." you stated, following him to the stairs without saying nothing. You remembered the house, and you were still able to recognize the smell too, so you were aware he was taking you to his room. It was nothing serious tho, Eren was doing it spontaneously, as if you had never stopped going to him every weekend while your parents would stay together in the living room.
"Wasn't in the mood." he shrugged his shoulders and answered quickly, placing his hand on your lower back to guide you to his bed. That wasn't usual at all, and it enhanced the change in your relationship and probably gave you a good reason to think he was being honest all along, if you thought in a more naive way.
You didn't trust him, not at all, but your mind needed you to believe him, to compensate for all the years spent mulling over how you could possibly become someone he would like. The only thing you didn't know, was that he had actually been honest all along, even if his intentions didn't have the sole purpose of making you finally aware of his feelings, even if it had helped him boost his ego again and gain his higher positions in your life back.
They weren't pure intentions, that was for sure, but he wasn't lying to you, not in the slightest. You knew he could be shitty and selfish, and he had no shame in confirming it; you knew he had treated you like shit in the past, and he didn't make excuses for it except telling you the reason behind it. The only thing you lacked at the moment was the trust he needed you to have to believe the feelings he had towards you were real, even if in a twisted and sick way.
You lacked it, yet there you were, sitting on his bed while he stood in front of you, looking down at you and trying to split your mind open with his eyes just to see what you were truly thinking. "Your room's still the same." you commented, glancing at the posters of bands on his wall and the globe placed on his desk, books lining up on it and pencils neatly put in a black holder. Under the desk there still was place for his playstation, placed on a shelf with the games all tidily standing in chronological order beside it.
Eren had always been a tidy person, that was the only thing Carla couldn't argue with him about. His room was black and white, simple and neutral, and it somehow perfectly fit his persona. He still kept the book he read for his own pleasure on his nightstand, and surprisingly enough, the bracelet you had made for him months ago was right next to it, white pearls shining with the muffled light of the room.
"Yeah, and I bet yours' still messy." he had a playful smile on his lips, and his words made you chuckle. It was true, your room was a mess, and it was ironic too. You looked calm and collected from the outside, never suddenly bursting out and always keeping things to yourself, but the mess in your head was reflected by that of the room you slept in every night. Eren had his fair share of messy thoughts and perplexities, he just had a different way of copying with it, and that consisted on keeping his stuff extremely tied up because he needed to have control at least on his surroundings.
"It is." you confirmed, lowering your head to look at your thighs. How was this supposed to work if you didn't even know how to talk to him in the first place?
"I thought you weren't going to come." he was the one to bring it up, lucky you, but now you either had the chance to lie or tell him the truth. Things could get shitty both ways, so what did you really have to lose at that point?
"I wish I hadn't, but I needed to see you." you made sure he was aware of your internal conflict, you didn't want him to think it had been easy for you to choose to see him after what he had done to you.
He almost opened his mouth to tell you he was sorry, because he never really had, but he figured he would have time for that, he was convinced, and that was because he intended on keeping you by his side this time, and fix all his mistakes one by one.
"Why?" you still weren't looking at him, and the lack of eye contact made him frustrated, given that it prohibited him from observing you and your reaction to him and his words. So he lowered himself, knees still not touching the ground and legs spread open, feet holding his weight as he tilted his head to find your face.
You were at the same height now, and there was no possibility of escaping, except exiting the room of course. He lifted your chin up with his fingers once again, finally obtaining what he was looking for. You knew what was coming, knew that if you told him the actual reason you were there - without sugar coating it as you previously did - he was going to probably humiliate you til the end of your days, and you would feel so embarrassed you couldn't even go out anymore.
But you had been the one to knock on his door, you had been the one to put on a lingerie set for the occasion, and you were the one wanting more. "I...I don't know if I should believe you," you started, and you swear you would have made yourself more little if only you could. "I need you to show me." it was almost a whisper at that point, but Eren caught on your words easily.
"Show you?" he wasn't stupid, it was clear in your voice and your face what you meant by that, but he was testing the waters to make sure he wasn't just assuming things, and also gaining some satisfaction in seeing you flustered like that for him.
You were playing with your fingers while Eren kept his under your chin so you wouldn't escape his gaze, and you bit your bottom lip before continuing. "You told me to forget -," you hesitated when he moved his other hand to your knee, fingers brushing against it to ease you and make you more relaxed, but he was only making your situation worse. "- told me to forget about my boyfriend, cause I was yours from the start." you reminded him, but Eren didn't need it.
He remembered his words perfectly, however he didn't want you to stop, so he only nodded, observing the way your eyes would glance at your knee from time to time. "I want you to show me I'm yours, make me forget about him." you stated, your intentions clear as a day. His eyes changed almost immediately, teal color shifting to a darker shade, a smirk plastering on his lips.
He trailed his fingers from your knee to your thigh and you gasped, you fucking gasped just with that and he thought he was going to lose his mind. "How?" he was a little a shit, that was no surprise to you, but if he wanted to tease you like that then you were going to put on a good show for him, make him understand what he had missed during those years.
So you let him keep his hand on your thigh, while the other one moved from your face to do the same and your fingers grabbed the hem of your sweatshirt. You slowly lift to raise it a bit and uncover the lower part of your stomach, leaving your panties completely exposed to him. He took a deep breath when he noticed the lacy, black fabric protecting your most sensitive area, and it was see-through too.
You looked at him just for a moment before finally completely removing the only piece of cloth you had put on, and you thought he was going to eat you when you literally noticed his pupils dilating, tongue licking his lips as he took in every inch of your body. "So," he finally spoke, looking up at you while his fingers began to trace the waistband of your underwear. "is this all for me?" he felt his cock already growing harder just at the sight of you all pretty for him.
"Yes." you affirmed, and he had to clench his jaw to remind himself to take things slow, because he wanted to savor the moment. He grinned at you, squeezing the flesh of your thighs so hard you knew he was going to leave bruises where his fingers were, but you didn't mind. This was his sole chance of redemption, and you could bet he was not going to waste it.
He brought his lips to your left knee first, leaving a kiss there, and then did the same on the right before positioning himself right between your legs, spreading them a bit more to get comfortable. You were shaking in anticipation, breath stuck in your throat as you observed his movements, your hands gripping his sheets while you waited for him to torture you.
"'m gonna make you feel so good you won't even remember his name." he muttered against your thigh, sinking his teeth in it without hurting you. In all honesty, his only presence made you entirely forget about the guy you were supposed to be with, and you didn't care because you knew he deserved it anyway. You couldn't even bring your mind to think about him, every thought of yours was filled with Eren, and only him.
His touch was intoxicating, his breath inebriating and his voice taunting, everything about him made you lose your fucking mind and reduced you to a mold of flesh ready for him to use at his own pleasure, except Eren wasn't going to be selfish this time, not for now at least, because he wanted to give you something you had never experienced, wanted you to enjoy it so much no other guy could ever make you feel the same way.
He wanted to focus on you, so he started to gently place kisses along the skin of your thigh, moving up until he reached the core of your arousal, cunt already throbbing at the sight of him in between your legs, ready to give you what you deserved. He left a light kiss on your pubis, still covered from your panties, before bringing his hands to your shoulders and gently pushing you a little down.
"Lay down for me." he ordered, watching your back meeting his mattress as he went back to focusing on your pussy. He dragged his hands down your stomach, then trailed his fingers to your hips and gripped them, observing the goosebumps slowly forming on your skin at the intimate contact. It made him smile almost unconsciously, seeing you already so worked up for him, made him feel special.
You gasped again when his warm mouth suddenly made contact with your cunt, and he stuck his tongue out to give you a taste of what you were going to feel, let you imagine how it could be without your panties limiting him. He could feel your clit against his tongue, and started pocking at it while you began to let out the cutest little whimpers.
"Look at you, already so needy.." he observed, and his voice sounded so dangerous you almost felt like you were really being haunted by him, and maybe that's what it was. He used two fingers to move your panties to the side, taking in the amazing visual in front of his eyes, cunt glistening with juices and it was all because of him. He collected the slick with his digits, spreading your folds in the process to take a better look as your hands gripped his sheets harder.
"Eren please -," you whined, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to forget about the embarrassment that was washing over your entire body. He looked up at you, grinning at the sight and brought his fingers to your mouth, using his thumb to open it and then roughly shoving them in.
"Be a good girl and suck them for me, taste yourself." he pushed them a bit deeper inside, and didn't remove them until you had sucked them clean and only left your saliva on them. You let them out with a 'pop', daring to look him in the eyes in the process and made his dick harder because you were fucking teasing him, but you weren't going to win and you both were aware of it.
"You wished it was my cock huh?" he scoffed when you shyly nodded at him in response, and abruptly put one of the fingers that were previously in your mouth inside your cunt. You let out a moan, pretty lips parting as you closed your eyes and enjoyed the moment, while he took his time to memorize the way you were reacting and the 'o' shape your mouth formed whenever he would curl his finger inside you.
He added another one, right after bringing his tongue back in the game and starting to circle your clit with it, sucking it and spitting on it. He loved the sounds you made, loved the way your back arched and your hips bucked against his hand, you were such a needy little thing.
"I wanna play a game," he raised his head to look at you, stopping his movements entirely but leaving his fingers in you. You waited for him to finish his sentence, trying not to look too desperate while doing so. "want you to be quiet while I fuck you with my fingers and my tongue." and he curled them again, teasing you and making you squinch at the gesture, your hand immediately covering your mouth to prevent you from being loud.
"Nu-huh, hands on the bed." he ordered, shaking his head. You silently complied, while his free hand moved to your back to unclasped your bra, finally freeing your breasts. "Make a sound and you won't cum, be quiet and I'll let you." he said, pinching one of your nipple and tilting his head to the side to enjoy your reaction. He grinned when he saw the way your fingers were gripping his sheets much harder than before, your bottom lip caught in your teeth and your breath heavier.
He resumed his actions, bringing his tongue to your bud again and sucking it, while his fingers pumped in and out at a steady pace. His eyes were fixed on you, but yours were close to avoid looking at him and making it more difficult for you to keep your mouth shut. You were bucking your hips against him again, and you would lie if you told yourself that wasn't the most difficult shit you could go through.
You were doing so well, too well almost, and Eren hated seeing you succeed when your pleasure was literally in his hands, he had to show you it was impossible to keep quiet even if you tried your best, because he was just too good at what he did. So he curled his fingers again, repeatedly hitting the sweet spot neither you or your current boyfriend were able to reach, making your eyes roll to the back of your head and finally, fucking finally, a high-pitched moan left your lips and pleasantly teased every nerve in his body.
He felt you clench around him, your slick dripping down on his sheets and he laughed darkly, suddenly stopping his movements and throwing his head back for a second to gain some composure. "No Eren -," you whined, tears already pricking at your eyes. "please I'll be quiet, 'm so sorry please let me cum." you were begging him to spare you, begging him to finish what he had started and he hadn't even said anything yet.
"You're so pathetic right now, should've listened to me." he slapped your cunt and you let out another moan, while he chuckled and stood up. "'m begging you 'ren, I'll do whatever you want just please — please let me cum." your legs were spasming from the orgasm that was stuck in your lower stomach, begging to be released and he was just staring at your figure, hair scattered on his sheets and cheeks wet.
You looked so good like that, so perfect all whining and needy for him as you cried and begged him to help you out, it felt even too satisfying to be true, sent shivers down his spine and made his cock hardly throb in his pants. "Come here then." he didn't think twice before gesturing you to get up from the bed and kneel in front of him, and you didn't mind the cold of the floor or the way it was already hurting your knees, your mind was too fucked up to care.
"I'm gonna use your mouth as a fuck toy, yeah? Want you to choke on my cock." he started, stroking your hair as you looked up at him and nodded eagerly, eyes filled with lust as you patiently waited for him to give it to you. He lowered his pants together with his boxers, and you were sure you were drooling just from seeing his dick hitting his hard stomach immediately, already leaking with precum.
The veins were visible and his tip was a soft pink, length completely hard and standing proudly on its own. Your sexual life had consisted only on fucking with your boyfriend, giving head to him and occasionally a handjob, but you received back basically nothing, since you almost never came under his touch or when his dick was inside you. This time was different, maybe because of the years that built up this moment and your feelings towards the guy looking down to you, or maybe just because he was extremely good at it, and you guessed it was both.
His cock was longer, larger and overall prettier than the one you were used to, and you thought you wouldn't be able to find anything better if you didn't keep him to yourself, you hated the thought of him letting someone else have it, so you had to make your pretty mouth unforgettable to him.
You opened it and stuck your tongue out, and he was quick to tap the end of his length on it once he had grabbed the base of it, testing the waters and preparing you for what was coming next. You circled your tongue around the tip, making him groan at the gesture and grip your nape with his right hand, bringing you closer to him while you closed your lips and finally trapped his dick in your mouth. He bobbed your head up and down, each thrust going deeper until it eventually reached your throat, making you gag as tears began to slowly stream down your face again.
Your mascara was a mess and your cheeks already felt sore from how big he was, but you didn't dare to stop. Your cunt was pulsating and you could feel your juices sticking to your thighs, so you shifted your foot until your heel was making contact with the sensitive area, and you started to rub against it to create some friction and ease your suffering a little.
Eren noticed the way you rotated your hips and moaned against his dick almost immediately, grabbing your hair and pulling it until his length was out of your mouth. "You're such a little slut." he scoffed, slapping your cheek with his cock while still keeping your hair in a tight grip. You didn't stop your movements, instead grinding against your heel harder because the way he talked to you made you even more aroused.
"So desperate for my cock that you can't even wait," he continued, this time lowering his face and grabbing your jaw with his other hand, forcing you to part your lips. "but I don't mind, go on and make yourself cum like the pathetic whore you are." and he spat in your mouth, roughly and without thinking too much about it, smirking as he watched you swallow his spit immediately.
It was all so overwhelming that you were convinced it was going to be impossible for you to have an experience even close to the one you were having with Eren with another person, but it was his goal after all. He was in ecstasy too, seeing you kneeling in front of him, swallowing down his saliva, gagging on his cock and grinding against your foot because he had made you so desperate for him, it was like a vision.
He could almost believe he was just dreaming because of how unreal it all felt, finally getting to see your body and not jerk off to the idea of you as he did when he was sixteen, because you had suddenly started to wear more revealing clothes and he could see your curves so much better. He remembered locking the door of the bathroom that time you kissed Armin and he had to sleep at his place right after the event, he was angry but he couldn't help his cock from getting hard at the thought of him being the one to stuff your mouth with his tongue, and maybe groping your tits.
And there you were, but this time your mouth was stuffed with his dick and he couldn't desire anything better. He sensed your orgasm when he felt the way your hands suddenly squeezed his thigh and your cheeks hollowed around him, sucking harder as you shut your eyes and finally reached your high, whimpering against him. He pulled out the moment your lips loosened a bit around his cock because of your moans, and he was sure he could have cum just by watching your face as you sadly looked up at him, your eyes watery and confused.
He ordered you to get on the bed first, removing all his clothes completely as you laid down and took off your panties. He licked his lips at the delicious sight, pumping his dick in his fist as he observed you. Your cheeks were flushed, baby hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, lips slightly opened, almost as if they were still waiting for him to stuff your mouth again.
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard you'll be too dumb to even think," and he rubbed his tip through your folds, making you whimper. "and next time I'm gonna cum in your fucking mouth, cause I know you want a taste." he smiled darkly at you, before stretching his hand to open the drawer of his nightstand right beside him and grab a condom. He stopped when he felt your hand gripping his wrist, you were shaking your head when he turned again to look at you.
"I'm on the pill." you stated, and decided it was your time to wind him up a bit. "I want it raw, please." your puppy eyes were doing some serious shit to his mind, and he couldn't help himself when he brought your hand to your neck, fingers circling around your throat while his other hand grabbed ahold of your waist.
He teased you a little more, rubbing his dick against your clit until you were whining again because of your desperation. Then he pushed inside you quickly, his cock hitting your cervix almost immediately because of the violence of his sudden movement, balls hitting your skin as he started to pump in and out of you faster, without wasting any second of his time.
His fingers applied a sweet pressure to your neck, enough to make you dizzy but not enough to make you pass out. "You like this, don't you?" he groaned, slowing his actions to rotate his hips before starting to thrust faster again. "You like my cock filling your cunt, like feeling my hand chocking you, mh?" it was obvious you did, and his words made you only clench around him more as you didn't hold back your moans, that were becoming screams at that point.
"Yes 'ren, I like it so much, please don't ever stop — oh my god" he loved that nickname, it reminded you of every time you cried after he had been mean to you and called him 'ren before begging him to treat you better and be good to you, and now you were doing it again, but this time while he was fucking you senseless and you were crying because of the pleasure.
He kept pumping in and out, watching your tits bouncing as your body shifted on his bed under the strength of his movements, his digits leaving bruises on your waist as he fucked you. He moved his knees on the bed one by one, and then raised one of your legs and put in on his shoulder, just to have a better access to your cunt and hit a deeper spot, making you see stars. He bit and sucked the skin of your thigh, intended on leaving as many hickeys as he possibly could while never stopping his thrusts.
"You're mine, yeah? No one else can fuck you this good. Feel my cock in your tummy?" he asked, and grabbed your hand only to place it on your lower stomach where you could actually feel the bulge every time he thrust in you. You couldn't speak for the love of you, you were choking on your own saliva and your breath was caught in your throat, making it impossible for you to form a sentence.
"You're so fucked out you can't even answer?" he laughed, hitting your cheek with the palm of his hand to gain a reaction from you. He did gain one, and it was an even louder moan. "'m yours 'ren, want you to cum in me so bad." you pleaded, and he groaned at your words and the way you were looking at him. He slowed down his pace, this time fucking you harder instead of faster, repeatedly hitting your sweet spot.
"Shit, 'm gonna fill you up real nice, wanna see my cum leak from your pretty cunt." he brought his fingers to your clit, rubbing his digits against it and lowering his head to bite your tits first, then your neck and then your earlobe, while you could feel his breath fanning against your skin. "I'm cumming 'ren — aaah god, i'm cumming!" you could feel his smile against your skin as he rotated his hips, still stimulating your bud.
"Cum for me baby, cream all over my cock and show me how good you are." he whispered in your ear, and you gave up to his request right away, moaning his name while your legs began to shake as your orgasm hit you like a truck, making your brain stop working. "Good girl, just like that." he praised you while still moving inside you through your high and reaching for his own, the overstimulation leading you to snivel under him.
"Oh fuck, you take me so well beautiful, just hold out a bit more, 'kay?" he praised you again, because he noticed the way your muscles where spasming and you were biting your lip to prevent you from crying out loud. Still, you let him take his time and he couldn't be more grateful for it, because when he finally reached his orgasm and cum inside you he knew he had to have you for himself.
"Shit, look at that." he panted out, heavy breath as he pulled out of you and watched his sperm leaking from your cunt, just like he had said, and mixing with your slick. It wasn't enough for him, and he collected the juices just to push them back inside you and drag them between your folds. Once he was done he lowered his head again to kiss you, much more gently this time, and smiled at you proudly.
"You did so good." he stroked your cheek with his clean hand, and gave you a little kiss again. You were finally relaxing under his soft touch when your phone rang, screen glowing with his name on it. You anxiously tried to stand up, but Eren pushed you back on the bed again and grabbed it for you, before accepting the call and bringing it to his ear.
"Sorry dude, she's busy getting fucked right now and you kind of interrupted us." he said as if it was nothing, and even if you knew it wasn't right, you couldn't bring yourself to care about what your boyfriend - ex boyfriend - would think. "What?!" you could hear his rage through your phone, meanwhile Eren rolled his eyes and abruptly pushed his cock inside you again, making you gasp loudly at the intrusion and at the sensation that came with it.
"Heard that? That was your girlfriend finally getting what she deserves, now get off our asses and go back to your bitches, cause you and I both know you're a shitty cheater." and with that he ended the call, throwing your phone beside you on the bed and bringing his attention back to you.
He looked at you as if he was waiting for you to say something, or maybe tell him to pull his dick out. "Ex girlfriend." was the only thing that left your mouth, accompanied by the bucking of your hips against his. What you said had boosted his ego so much he was grinning at you, slowly pumping in you until his cock was fully hard again.
"I don't deserve you either, but I promise you I'll make it worth it."
SAKURASHELL © 2021. All content belongs to SAKURASHELL. Do not copy, modify, or repost my work. Do not share any of my Tumblr content on another platform without permission.
#eren x reader#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger smut#aot smut#eren yaeger x reader#eren smut#eren yaeger x you#eren jaeger x you#eren x reader smut
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So I'm reading your works and I love them !! I was thinking of requesting some kind of drabble or whatever you like, about a female reader who has thick thighs and is somewhat plump and is in love with Tsukishima but he makes a comment about the food and she feels bad and when she meets Bokuto in the boot camp Bokuto is too cute and attentive to her asking for her number and a date. If you don't feel comfortable with this, just ignore it and good luck with your blog. Sorry my english is bad<3
When they make you insecure PT 5 (tsukishima,bokuto)
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part 6
Word Count: 2.6K
Genre: Angst to Fluff
masterlist
Tsukishima
You and Tsukishima have been dating in your first year (as you both went to the same middle school together.)
You were in love with Tsukishima, you always have been to be honest, but once you became officially boyfriend and girlfriend your feelings amplified.
But recently, Tsukishima hasn’t been so nice.
“Y/N we’re going on another training camp at Nekoma” Hinata exclaimed running up to you, as you leaning against Tsukishima “and you get to come too this time!”
You recently became the new trainee manager as the third-year manager, Kikyoko, is going to graduate. Tsukishima acted as if you being around all the time in practice was the worst thing in the world, but Yamagucchi always assured you that ‘Tsukki’ was just joking.
“Oh well that’s fun...” you say entertaining Hinata’s excitement. You were kind of excited to go to the training camp too, as it was in Tokyo after all. You were always a big fan of volleyball as your dad used to play for the national team and you were planning to play on the girls team this year but you felt that you didn’t have the body for it (which was obviously not true.)
Hinata kept on rambling on before Tsukishima insulted him. “Gosh Kei, you don’t have to be so rude.” you complained, he slightly nudged you off of him and put on his headphones showing you that he was not in a good mood.
You let the rest of the practice continue, making notes of things and basically being Kiyoko’s shadow. As it ended, you waited outside for Tsukishima to walk home with you, but one of the guys told you he left 5 minutes ago. You knew there was no point of chasing after him so you just walked on your own, making you sigh in defeat.
Tsukishima was what you would describe as hot and cold. Some days he was fine a ‘perfect gentlemen’ but other days, days like this Tsukishima was just Tsukishima.
When you got home, you decided to watch matches of all the other schools just to get some insight. You were watching a Fukarodani V Nekoma match from a few years ago and something caught your eye, well someone did to be more specific. A beefy, bicolour haired boy who was hooting like an owl was mesmerizing to watch.
You saw that his name was Bokuto Koutarou which triggered your next actions, which were to internet stalk him. You learned that he was the captain of the team and the team’s ace and the 5th ace in the country which piqued your interest in the boy even more.
‘This is going to be an exciting training camp’ you think to yourself before going to sleep.
`Kiyoko gave you an itinerary of all the things you should bring, since you weren’t going to be joining in any of the matches you were reminded to bring things that would keep entertained.
You get to the bus at the crack of dawn, ready to be driven to Tokyo. Hinata and Kageyama were already arguing (let’s pretend that they didn’t have to do the retakes in the test) Tanaka and Nishinoya were being loud, and the rest of the members were already asleep. You wanted to sit next to Tsukishima but when you were about to sit down, he put his carryon bag in the seat next to him.
The bus ride was around 4-5 hours, and you spent your time reading and sleeping. Daichi got the loudmouths to calm down making the bus ride more tolerable. You suffered from slight motion sickness but you powered through.
When you arrived there, you saw all the other teams and their buses too. You felt a bit overwhelmed, seeing these tall boys just crowd around an entrance way. But too your surprise, noticing your slight anxiousness, Tsukishima grabbed your hand in a hand-hold.
The Nekoma coach, explained how the day would pan out and where each team would be residing for the week. There was a lot of commotion getting everyone settled, Hinata and Nishinoya were basically bouncing off of the wall commenting on all the people and the place and how they’re going to ‘crush the competition.’
You could tell that when the other teams were looking at Karasuno they were all staring at Kiyoko. Inquisitive about how there wasn’t only one girl manager but there was two. As you were walking your eyes locked with Bokuto Koutarou’s making yours widen, you blush and turn your head quickly.
What you didn’t know was, after your small interaction, Bokuto elbowed Akaashi and said “Akaaashi AKKAAASHI, did ya see that? did ya?” he was flying with happiness “That girl from Karasuno smiled at me. She’s really pretty.”
“I think she’s from Karasuno” Akaashi said “So maybe you’ll see her around”
Bokuto stared off in the direction you were walking in “Yeah, hopefully.”
The first day, everyone got settled in and then the teams went straight into games. There were two different gyms and today, in gym 1, you were watching Karasuno V Nekoma. (By the way I literally don’t remember the teams at the training camp besides Nekoma, Karasuno and Fukarodani.) The game was very back a point each team making point after point, you already knew of Nekoma’s captain, Kuroo Testurou and the setter Kenma, you’ve actually played games with Kenma online before so you were fairly acquainted with him already.
The games ended and it was now dinner time, the canteen was packed with all the boys rushing to line up for the food. You waited at the back of the line, not really caring about when you got your food. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your shoulder and you looked over to see Boktuo,
“Hi.” he said “I’m Bok-”
“Bokuto Koutarou!” You finished “I'm a big fan..” you cringed immediately at your excitement ‘pull it together Y/N’ you scold yourself.
“Oh well hi, I’m glad you know who I am” he said “and may I ask for your name?”
“Oh I’m Y/N L/N” you say with a slight blush “I'm the trainee manager from Karasuno.”
“Cool! Well I hope to see you aro-” he starts
“Y/N, I’ve been looking all over for you, I already got your food for you.” Tsukishima said pulling at your arm a bit harshly, dragging you over to a table with the Karasuno team.
“Gosh Tsukki, no need to be so harsh” you say rubbing at your wrist, he didn’t apologize and just started eating his food.
You look down at your plate and see the small portion that Tsukki got for you. The Karasuno bunch was being loud, as they usually are, so when you whisper “Tsukki what the fuck is this” whilst nudging him in the side, he didn’t hear you (or atleast he pretended he didn’t.) You tried again but a little louder saying, “Tsukishima what the fuck is this.” you realised you said it a bit too loud as the whole Karasuno table stopped their conversations to look over at the slight commontion you caused.
“What do you mean Y/N?” he said with a slight smirk on his face.
“I mean what’s with the portion size of a bird that you gave me?” you ask getting upset “Do you really think im that big?”
“Well, you could start eating less that’s for sure.” he said earning gasps from you and some of the people sitting at the table “Y/N let's face it, you eat like a pig and you look like an elephant, me making your food portion smaller is the least I could do.”
By now you had tears in your eyes, Tsukishima was a dick. You knew this, everybody knew this to be honest, yet you still loved him. He wasn’t like this in middle school, yes he was a bit snarky and rude (but wasn’t every middle schooler?) High school Tsukishima was like a completely different person. As much as you wanted to run away and hide, you knew you couldn’t.
So you stood up and said “Tsukishima, I’ve spent 3 years loving and pining after you, because I thought you were this great guy, but turns out you’re a huge asshole” you start making some of the people listening in smile in laughter “Tsukishima, I’ve hated this past year dating you, you’ve been such a huge dick and I’m finally stopping you. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t.” You start making your way to exit before finally saying “Oh and by the way I’m not the pig here, you are... oh and I’m breaking up with you.” You left, hearing a few laughs and some claps behind you.
You felt relieved, like the massive cloud that’s been over your head is finally gone. You went to the gym since you knew it was empty and picked up a ball to just throw it around a bit. After a while of ‘de-stressing,’ you hear someone else enter the gym.
“Oh I didn’t know you’d be here.” said Bokuto
“Well here I am,” you say awkwardly “I can leave if you want me too, I know this is for actual volleyball players.”
“No no it’s fine you can definitely stay, in fact do you mind setting for me?” he asks
“Sure, of course I don’t mind” you reply, excited you get to play with someone. You haven’t played in ages, you always begged Tsukishima to just throw a ball around with you but he never did.
You set to Boktuo a lot, with him always asking for ‘another one’ everytime he spiked the ball. Eventually, you were tired of setting and wanted to spike. You originally was a spiker to begin with taking after your dad. Thats why you took a liking to Bokuto in the first place cause he reminded you of the joys you had when watching your father play.
Bokuto set a ball to you and you spiked it with great strength and accuracy smiling at the burning feeling you felt in your palm.
“Woahh” Bokuto shouted going towards you in amazement “Where did you learn how to spike like that?”
“From my dad, I don’t know if you heard of him before but my dad’s name is D/N L/N...?” you say
“D/N L/N, Y/N he is my idol!” he shouted again “I want to be just like him.”
“I think you can, I see a lot of similarites in the way you both play.” you say
“Really! And you’ve seen me play before..?” he asks
“Yeah, I watched some of your games before coming here... you’re really good” you shyly admit.
“Wow.”
You and Bokuto spend the rest of your time, talking about volleyball you’re interests, things you have in common, your likes and dislikes. Talking to Bokuto was refreshing, he didn’t randomly insult you or make snide comments about your weight or your looks. He just genuinely looked happy to be there talking to you, unlike Tsukishima.
Seeing your change in mood, Bokuto stops talking and asks “are you alright? I forgot to ask earlier, but I saw what happened in the canteen and I hope you’re okay.”
“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just things with me and Tsukishima reached a breaking point, I guess...” you say sniffling a bit talking about it “But it’s fine now I’ve broken up with him and I feel better already.”
“So you’re saying your single...?” he asked blushing a bit
“Yeah I guess I am...” you smile blushing also.
“Okay great...well I hope this isn’t too forward after everything happened with Tsukki and all but...” he starts “but would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Who me?” you ask as if you weren’t the only other person in the room
“No the volleyball” he responds sarcastically “Of course you Y/N.”
“Are you sure, cause to be honest Bokuto you’re a really good-looking guy” you say making him smile widely “so I think you need someone to match your level in attractiveness” you look down and his smile drops.
“What do you mean?” he asks before realising all the stuff Tsukishima said about you “Y/N you’re beautiful, your face, your body just you.” you blush at his words “when I first saw you when you were walking past us in the entrance way the first thing I thought and said about you was “Akaashi who is that girl she’s beautiful.””
“Really?” you ask with disbelief
“Mhm” he nods excitedly “So will you go on a date with me?”
“I guess so...” you say a bit unsure
“HEY HEY HEY!” he exclaims “I gotta go tell akaashi!” he runs out of the gym in a hurry making you laugh, but he comes back to give you a quick unexpected kiss on the cheek making you smile.
You checked your phone for the time realising that you’ve been with Bokuto for 3 hours and you knew that everyone would be going to sleep now. As you are the manager you slept seperately from the rest of the team but before you went to your sleeping quaters you went to Karasunos.
“Y/N where have you been? We’ve been worried about you.” asked yammagucchi
“It’s fine yams don’t worry about it, guys” you say catching everyones attention “I just wanted to apologise to you for my outburst at dinner, it wasn’t my intention to cause a scence.”
“It’s fine Y/N” said sugawara “He definitely deserved it.”
“Yeah as your marvellous senpai we gave him a good telling off” said Tanaka and Nishinoya making you chuckle.
“Okay well thanks guys, I’m going to sleep goodnight.”
“Wait Y/N can I speak with you.” asked Tsukishima gesturing to outside the room
“Umm sure” you respond following him into the corridor.
“I just want to say I’m sorry for the things I’ve said and done over the past year and how I’ve been a terrible boyfriend, you don’t deserve that. So, I’m sorry.”
“I can’t say I can forgive you yet.” you say making Tsukishima look sad “but maybe with effort from you we can become friends possibly?”
“Just friends?” he said with hope in voice thinking that you could be something more.
“Just friends.” you repeated and confirmed “Besides I have been asked on a date”
“With who?”
“None of your business stingyshima” you mock the nickname that Hinata calls him making him scowl and you smile “Goodnight.”
After Bokuto’s confession and Tsukishima’s apology, the rest of the training camp went off without a hitch. In your breaks and lunchtimes, you got to know more about Bokuto and with Kuroo’s help you even got to sneak out to actually go on your date. You sometimes even went to practice with them getting to show off your skills, with Bokuto cheering you on and complimenting you every single time.
Tsukishima kept his distance for the most part, and kept the snarky comments about you and Bokuto to himself (even though he was dying to say them.) You eventually fully forgave Tsukishima in your 3rd year but you definitely weren’t as close as you used to be. Tsukishima’s comments and actions did affect you for a while however with the help of your loving boyfriend, you were reminded how beautiful you are no matter what weight, shape or height you were.
You and Bokuto stayed together, you made sure to come to every one of his games and when you introduced him to your dad he fainted on sight. Your dad and Bokuto got along, and became very close friends, Bokuto always came to him for advice (especially volleyball advice.) You loved Bokuto and he definitely loved you too.
AN: I hope you liked it, since I didn’t want to make it too similar too the Atsumu insecure one. And I feel like it dragged out a bit but got rushed in the endd....but oh well...
#haikyuu x reader comfort#haikyu angst#haikyu x reader#haikyu scenarios#haikyuu fluff#haikyu#tsukishima angst#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima x y/n#tsukishima headcanons#bokuto scenarios#bokuto angst#bokuto x reader#signedwithane😌
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the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo - how y/n made friends with everyone
this is an extra to the great adventures series
requested: yes/no
warnings: cursing
tommy
you were actually friends with tommy when he was streaming to a few viewers, and you even watched as his channel grew. eventually he asked you to mod for him, as he knew he could trust you and because had experience being a twitch mod. he was also the reason you began streaming. as for how you met, you were in the same classes as him in highschool, and since you were the ‘quiet’ person in the class, they sat tommy next to you. honestly, you hated him when you first met him and the feeling was mutual. you didn’t want to sit next to the rather loud teenager and he had no one to talk to anymore as his friends were on the other side of the room.
“do you ever talk?”
“heh?”
“i said do you ever talk...do you always do that”
“do what”
“that fucking HeH.”
“are you mocking me simons?”
“noooo why would i do that...”
“it’s y/n.”
“right, yeah, yeah, i totally knew that.”
“great now please leave me alone i’m trying to work.”
“loser.”
“the fuck did you just say?”
“nothing.”
it was that moment tommy decided he was going to make you just like him, and a few years later that’s exactly what he did. by year 11 you and tommy had grown extremely close. the last day of school arrived a lot earlier than expected, everyone was extremely stressed, no one knew what to expect or what was going to happen. you found yourself hanging around with tommy a lot more as you had no idea if you would both be going to the same college, in september you received a text message that made your night:
tommy: college sent out emails telling you if you were accepted go check
*2 minutes later*
tommy: well?
y/n: i got accepted
tommy: me too
y/n: call me right now
tommy: i’m about to stream..have you ever considered streaming?
y/n: absolutely not
tommy: make an account and stream after me i’ll raid you..make me mod you know how people can be
once college started up, you were slightly nervous the two of you would drift away from each other. however this was far from the case, although you both did different subjects and he was only in on wednesdays, the pair of you would hang out together a lot more. he would be in your streams and vice versa, you would either be in his tiktoks, or you would be the one filming them.
“y/n make a tiktok we can be mutuals.”
“please god no.”
you spent so much time at his house either talking about random things, playing whatever game you could find, or streaming. he dragged you to every meet up he went on, allowing you to meet people such as niki, phil, and, wilbur. you didn’t know this, but he would constantly bring you up in conversations with dream, which eventually lead to you joining the smp in october where you would later be able to meet the likes of jack, technoblade and jschlatt. the only person you didn’t seem to see on the server was his other friend tubbo.
ranboo
you had become friends with scott after being his first twitch mod and when he noticed you started streaming, he was extremely supportive, always raiding your stream once he ended his. today you found yourself bickering with scott because he wouldn’t let you in mcc despite the fact you were ‘the best minecraft player.’
“y/n, i watched you die in minecraft 7 times last night within 5 minutes.”
“oh i’m sorry mr perfect, let me in mcc.”
“no.”
“fine i’ll make my own.”
and that’s exactly what you did..well you tried your best.
you started your stream as soon as scott ended and had him call you on discord after explaining to your chat what you were about to do.
“scott final chance let me in mcc, i’ll settle for access to the practice server.”
“fine.”
“REALLY?!”
“absolutely not!”
“fuck you, ill be in it one day!”
you left the call telling chat you didn’t need that negative energy in your life.
you really have scott to thank for you making friends with ranboo, scott made a tweet explaining what you were doing on stream which caught ranboos eye.
Smajor1995: after not making it into mcc again my good friend @y/n has decided to take it upon themselves to make their own on stream!! ill also be in the stream (if they answer my calls) *twitch link*
ranboo joined your stream and was instantly met with you yelling at scott (again) to let you in mcc.
“IM YOUR TWITCH MOD!”
“i will ban you from mcc!”
“you don’t have the nerve... so he left the call this is bullshit watch me land this water bucket clutch down this ravine so we can find axolotls and build an army.”
*you died*
you pulled your hood over your face before sinking down your chair taking a deep breath.
“FUCK!”
you calmly got back up and looked into your camera.
“i was so close, so very close.. HEY CHAT SCOTT SENT ME A LINK TO THE SERVER!”
a few minutes later you were able to get onto the server, only to be kicked less than a minute later. the reason you were banned being ‘i watched you fail the water bucket clutch down a ravine.’
you continued your build on your server and just spent the rest of the stream talking about anything that crossed your mind, that was until you decided to copy ace race. once finished, you looked into your camera and pulled your microphone closer to you.
“so this is race ace, so scott doesn’t sue me, and basically it’s going to be this course, but i’m going to change a random section practice it every day, not tell anyone it changed. of course i’m going to tell my team we have to win, oh fuck i forgot scott was watching my stream..it’s okay he didn’t hear me he’s too busy planning how he can rig the next mcc.”
ranboo found himself enjoying your content and even noticed you in his chat multiple times.
“just a minute chat i’m just sending an important dm to my mods.”
that’s when you noticed chat paused for a minute after you sent a message, it confused you for a minute before realising ranboo made you a vip on his channel and you decided to do the same for him on your channel, from there you added each other on discord. the pair of you made friends extremely quickly, you were constantly part of his streams as you would call him on discord not realising that he was streaming.
“hi y/n, by the way i’m streaming”
“i just wanted to ask if you knew how to break into a house?”
“....why”
“i locked myself out by accident and my parents are asleep come help me.”
“you are in the uk.”
“okay? catch a flight.”
chat honestly loved you and your friendship with ranboo. the pair of you only met a few weeks ago and you were already acting as though you had known each other for years.
jack
you and jack met for the first time on the smp, which would have been fine, however you met during lore and your characters weren’t exactly the best of friends. once lore had ended, everyone said their goodbyes and left the call. a few moments later you received a discord message from jack asking if you were available to call any time soon. since you were back in lockdown, you had plenty of free time. you arranged a time and date a few days later you called jack, where you had your first proper interaction out of character.
“hello jack!!”
“oh hi y/n i just thought it may be a good idea to get to know each other, well you know considering we’re both on the dream smp.”
“yeah, yeah, i understand what you mean.”
the pair of you ended up getting along with each other, it was slightly awkward for the first 5 minutes of the call, but that was expected since you hadn’t really met jack before and were anxious to call him. however, after that the conversation started to flow and you found out the pair of you had a lot in common making it easy to come up with things to talk about. it ended up feeling as though you were catching up with a friend you hadn’t spoken to for a while.
“has anyone told you your accent is really strong.”
“so is yours, y/n, what the fuck is that supposed to mean.”
“it means your accent is strong, duh.”
jack asked if you’d like to stay in call and join him on the smp whilst he streamed, and you gladly accepted the offer as you really didn’t want to do your college work, and you were enjoying your time with him. a few minutes into the stream jack had killed you several times.
“JACK STOP KILLING ME!”
rather than answering you he just sat laughing. he then went on to attempt to mute him microphone, he failed. however he didn’t realise this, so you sat listening to his plan on how he was going to kill you again. this time you were prepared, you sent a message to tommy telling him to log on along with your location. few minutes later tommy was by your side and helped you kill jack several times for revenge.
“Y/N...TOMMY!!”
“you didn’t mute your mic, so i told tommy you were bullying me.”
“im gonna go...BYE JACK, BYE Y/N, ILL SEE YOU SOON!”
“i can’t believe you.”
“hey you’re the one who didn’t turn your mic off.”
“how did you know?”
“i had your stream on my other monitor.”
“ayeee you watch my streams?”
“...i’ve been a sub for 4 months.”
the two of you stayed chatting and playing for another hour. the pair of you were already so close and you had only met each other the other day. this was just the start of your friendship, soon enough you were in a laugh and the stream ends challenge on his stream, however due to lockdown rules this was done over discord leading to you accidentally leaving the call several times.
“and they’re gone again!”
*4 minutes later*
“SORRY JACK IM BACK!”
“stop leaving y/n!”
“oh i’m sorry, let me just go yell at my wifi to stop cutting out!”
a few seconds later you could be heard faintly in the background screaming at your wifi as it would continue to buffer. as soon as restrictions were over one of the first things you decided to do was go to jacks and stream a laugh you lose where there was a punishment if you were responsible for losing the last heart. however everything was apparently hilarious in person as you would constantly laugh, meaning you were responsible for losing the last heart.
“y/n give me your phone.”
“no.”
“you lost let me tweet from your account”
“fine..”
soon enough your fans and friends with your notifications on received this twitter notification
“y/n: jack is so cool and funny he is also really tall i am not”
tubbo
tubbo was actually the last person you met and made friends with, your community were convinced for some reason that you both didn’t like each other and that’s why the pair of you didn’t talk to each other. this was far from the case you were both waiting for the right time, tubbo was an extremely busy teenager and you didn’t want to interrupt him, and tubbo knew you were currently in a stressful position since you had recently joined the dream smp, also you were still meeting people so he didn’t want to stress you out. this doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be your friend, he actually asked tommy since he had been your friend for at least 4 years what would be the best way of getting to know you.
“mate they hated me when we first met, just talk to them or something. you could have met them the last time i went up to visit you, but they ended up not feeling too good and went back to the hotel room.”
“when are you next coming up?”
“how about next week, and i’ll bring y/n, i really don’t understand why you’re nervous tubbo, it’s y/n they wouldn’t hurt a fly..well hmm.”
“see you next week then!”
a week later tommy dragged you to the train station.
“uh tommy where are we going?”
“...on a train.”
“no way, really? oh my god!”
a few hours later you finally got off the train.
“ill go with my dad to check into the hotel room, do you want to come with us or?”
“i think i’ll go for a walk and stretch my legs.”
“right okay, meet you at the beach later”
you spent a few minutes walking around the beach picking up any rocks and shells that caught your eye, little did you know it would result in you meeting tubbo. once you finished putting your new collection in your pockets you noticed a small crowd of people walk up to someone asking for pictures assuming it was tommy you walked over to the boy, it wasn’t tommy it was in fact tubbo. at first you stayed silent not wanting to really cause attention to yourself. you only spoke up when some people started to make inappropriate comments towards him.
“oh sorry to be a pain guys me and tubbo have plans with tommy in a few minutes, we should go so we’re not late. bye guys.”
you smiled and waved as they walked away. you looked over to tubbo, you could tell he was still pretty anxious about what just happened and honestly if you was in his position, you would react the same way.
“we should probably move from here incase they come back and see you’re still here, are you okay?”
“im feeling better now it’s over..thank you”
“oh it’s no problem i’m, y/n btw.”
“wait you and tommy were still meant to be on the train.”
“the train was actually on time, tommy went to check into the hotel i wanted to stretch my legs, i also wanted to collect some rocks.”
“did you collect enough or did you want more?”
“im not going to say no if you wanna go collect some with me.”
the pair of you walked around keeping each other close incase the people from before returned. half an hour later, the pair of you sat on a bench close to the beach so you could show tubbo everything you decided to pick up, he ended up keeping a rock he liked to have as a memory. tubbo wrapped an arm around you as it was getting cold whilst you watched the sunset.
“tubbo i think tommy forgot about me.”
“you can spend the night at mine, i’ll send him a message to let him know.”
“are you sure?”
“of course!”
“this has to be the most unsafe thing either of us will ever do, we hardly know each other and now i’m staying at yours.”
tommy sent you a message explaining that he didn’t forget, there was a problem at the other hotel and they had to go find another one, but you’ll be fine to stay at tubbos for the night. the pair of you spent the entire night learning as much as you can about the other person. it had only been an evening but you already knew the pair of you would be great friends.
taglist:
@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee
#mcyt x reader#mcyt fanfiction#mcyt writing#mcyt imagines#mcyt imagine#mcyt reader insert#mcyt fluff#mcyt x platonic reader#mcyt x y/n#mcyt x you#tubbo x y/n#tubbo x you#tubbo x reader#tubbo imagine#tubbo fluff#tommyinnit x y/n#tommyinnit x you#tommyinnit x reader#tommyinnit fluff#tommyinnit imagine#jack manifold x y/n#jack manifold x you#jack manifold x reader#jack manifold fluff#jack manifold imagine#ranboo x y/n#ranboo x you#ranboo x reader#ranboo fluff#ranboo imagine
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Heyo! I'm a REALLY REALLY REALLY! Big fan of angst and your works, so I have a suggestion! So like, in this au Bakugou and Y/N are aged up and they have a daughter (let's just say her name is either Katsumi or Kirumi). So, the child is 4 years old and she didn't get her quirk yet. Let's just say Bakugou got drunk when his friends dragged him to a bar and this woman decided to hit him up and let's just say he cheated- so Y/N found out because kiri just had to tell her because it wasn't manly at all for him to keep a secret and Y/N left him with his child and boom! Bad ending. Please tag me in this one tyy!
Bet.
(Changed it up the slightest bit to make Katsumi remember bc I kinda wanna do a part 2 for this)
Nobody to Blame but Yourself - Bakugou Katsuki
Bakugou x f!reader
Warnings: ANGST, cursing, cheating, alcohol consumption
BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST
Pt.1 Pt.2
You have a small, beautiful family. Your loving husband, Katsuki and your adorable daughter, 5 year old Katsumi.
Katsumi was your precious baby girl. She had Katsuki’s ash blonde hair with your silky smooth hair texture. She had your E/C eyes and Katsuki’s porcelain skin. She had Katsuki’s bravery and boldness along with your kindness and compassion. She was a perfect mix of you both.
Y/N and Katsuki have been together ever since their childhood. Their families were close and they grew up together. Katsuki always swore to protect his princess. They got together in their junior year and about 5 years after they graduated from UA high, Katsuki proposed.
—
—
“Be back soon, okay Suki?” You sweetly said to your husband as he got closer to the door. He pulled you in with a smile and pecked your cheek.
“Yeah, yeah Teddy Bear. I’ll probably be back sooner than you think, don’t even wanna go with those losers.” He complained with a strained face. You giggled at his expression and went on.
“Those losers have been your best friends since high school. You love them. You know you do,” you teased. “Besides, you haven’t spent some time with them in forever.”
“Yeah Y/N. I’m a husband and a dad. I don’t need to be around my friends, I need to be with my family.” He exclaimed with a playful voice.
“Well your family will still be here when you get back. Just as long as you always come back to us too.” You said with a wink.
“Always will Teddy Bear.” He said holding you tight. He held you close until you both heard the little pitter patter of feet running to the front door. You both looked down and saw your daughter in her pjs and watched as she jumped onto Katsuki.
“Be back soon daddy!” She said with a squeal. Katsumi was definitely a daddy’s girl. Her and her father were attached at the hip the second she was born. They were best friends and you loved their father-daughter dynamic.
“Katsumi, you’re supposed to be sleeping, love.” You said with a chuckled as you held her tiny hand while Katsuki picked her up in his arms.
“I wanted to say bye to daddy before he went to see uncle Kiri! And uncle Denki and uncle Sero and Auntie Mina!” She said and watched as you and Bakugou lip synced to her voice as she said the Bakusquad’s names. She laughed at her parent’s teasing as Katsuki assaulted her in kisses.
“That’s sweet baby bear. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. So get to bed you brat,” Bakugou said as he placed his daughter down and ruffled her hair. Others would look down on the rough treatment but you knew Katsumi never took it seriously. She always laughed and played back with Katsuki whenever he put on his ‘mean guy act.’
“M’kay.” Katsuki bent down to kiss her cheek and you followed doing the same action before Katsumi ran back off to her room. You and Katsuki said bye to each other after Katsuki gave you a loving kiss. He walked out the door to meet with his friends as he knew he was in for a long night.
It would soon shock him to see how true that statement would be.
—
The night was going well. Katsuki left around 8:30 and he said he would be back sooner than you thought so considering he was now a family man, you thought he’d be back by midnight. However, you woke up in the middle of the night and saw it was 3 in the morning...and he still wasn’t home. You were starting to get worried now.
If this was back in your earlier years of marriage, you’d say this was okay. Not great but okay, except now, Katsuki has responsibilities and promises that he vowed to keep. He should’ve been home a long time ago. Where was he? You stayed up deciding to sit and wait for him to come home and after almost 2 hours, your phone rang.
You picked it up quickly with a little bit of fear and anger sitting in your stomach. You didn’t even bother to check who it was so when you heard the voice of your husband’s best friend instead of Katsuki, you grew concerned.
“Katsuki! Where are you?!” You asked with worry as you slightly shouted into the phone.
“Hey Y/N..... It’s Kirishima. Umm...I have something to tell you.” He said with sadness detected in his voice.
“Kiri? Is everything alright? Wheres Katsuki?” You asked.
“I’m so sorry Y/N...”
Listening to the red head’s voice made your eyes pop. Your body trembled and tears began to pool in your eyes as you shook your head in denial. Katsuki loved you. You both had a daughter! A family! He would never....he wouldn’t....right? After talking to your friend for some time and getting the crucial information you needed, you made up your mind on what you had to do.
“T-Thank you, Kirishima. Goodnight.” You said into the phone with a hiccup.
“I’m sorry Y/N. You don’t deserve this. You and Katsumi....goodnight.” He said and hung up the phone. You placed it down and sat in silence for a moment. After about a minute, you broke down again and cried into your hands. You sobbed as tears flowed down your cheeks. Rivers of heartbreak and anger streamed down your face as you cried the night away.
Well..you couldn’t cry all night. Katsuki would probably be back in the morning and you had plans. You’d have to save your tears for later. You looked at the time.
4:18 a.m.
You set your alarm for 6 and went back to bed. The whole night, all you could think about was your precious baby girl. This was going to break her little heart. Instead of crying over your husband’s betrayal, you wept for your daughter’s future without her best friend. Eventually you cried yourself to sleep and the sun rose in time.
—
10:00 a.m
Katsuki opened his eyes to the alarm on the nightstand. He yawned a bit before adjusting his eyes to morning light. The more he looked at the stand, the more he realized he didn’t recognize it. Nor the alarm clock. He looked around and noticed he wasn’t in his bedroom. Katsuki shot up and sat on the bed and looked down to notice he was completely undressed. He looked to the side and saw some random woman. A complete stranger who was also naked in bed with him. His heart grew rapid as his eyes grew frantic.
“No, no, no, no, no, no this can’t be happening..this can’t be happening!” Katsuki said as his hands found way to his hair as he tugged on the blonde locks. The woman next to him awoken to his shuffling and smiled up at him. She placed her hand on his bare chest and cuddled in close to him as she sighed in content.
“G’morning handsome. Had a fun night?” She teased, reminding him of his affair and unloyal actions.
“Get the fuck off me!” He said as he jumped out of bed and found his pants. He pulled them on and continued to scream. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! The hell did you do to me you fucking slut?”
“What’re you talking about? And who the fuck are you calling a slut?” The woman said with sass.
“Just tell me where I am!” Katsuki demanded.
“A hotel! You know, the hotel you dragged me to so you could get your dick wet.” She said as she sat up from the bed but still covered herself with the blanket.
“Why the fuck would I do that?!” He screamed.
“You tell me. All I know is that I saw you in that bar, you drank a hell of a lot with your friends, I came up to you and flirted with you, you flirted back, we shared a few more drinks, and you dragged me here. I mean, I consented of course but still.” The stranger explained. Bakugou shook as he looked around in a frenzy. “Anyway, round 2?”
“You fucking bitch, I have a wife!” He screamed at her as he got himself dressed.
“Heh, wow. Well when your wife leaves you after she finds out you cheated, give me a call.” The woman said as she layed back down on the bed. Katsuki seethed at her as he squinted his eyes in disgust.
“You shameless slut. Like hell I will! And Y/N’s not gonna leave me! She loves me! And I love her-“
“Sure didn’t seem like it last night~” the woman said. Bakugou had enough and blasted the bed she was on with his quirk before cussing her out and leaving her there. He quickly ran out the hotel and found his car. He hopped inside and started it as he quickly sped off home.
“Shit!” Bakugou screamed at himself. How could he do that?! How could he cheat on you?! You were his everything! You and Katsumi! His two girls were his entire world! And he betrayed the both of you by doing this. He could only hope that you wouldn’t find out. He can’t tell you what he did. He would lose you! He can’t lost you! This whole thing just has to pass over and things will be fine. Right? Well something didn’t sit right with him as he inched closer and closer to his house.
—
When the 6 o’clock alarm rang, you woke up, ready for the day to begin and the drama to unfold. You were quick to get yourself ready. Brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, a little makeup, and you packed your important belongings and your clothes. Everything else would be replaceable. You put on a pair of shoes and put the rest in the large suitcase you had.
You made a quick call to Mina, assuming she already knew what happened. You asked if you could drop Katsumi off for some time and she of course said yes. After saying ‘thank you,’ you brought all your bags into your car and went back inside to get your daughter.
You walked into your daughter’s bedroom to see her sleeping peacefully. Next to her bed, a framed picture of your once happy family. It was Katsumi’s 4th birthday and she didn’t want to spend it with anybody else except for Mommy and Daddy. Now, you were gonna have to take someone out the picture. You shook your daughter awake and watched as she opened her beautiful E/C eyes that resembled your own.
“Katsumi..hey baby, wake up.” You softly said with a reassuring smile to not alarm her. You watched as she rubbed her eyes with her tiny fist and looked up at you.
“Mommy? What’s going on?” She asked as she looked around in a daze.
“You’re gonna have a little play date at Auntie Mina and Uncle Kiri’s house. Uncle Denki and Uncle Sero will be there too! You excited?” You asked with enthusiasm to hide your pain.
“Really Mommy?!” Your daughter asked with excitement.
“Mhm! Get ready and get dressed for Mommy. They’ll be here at 8, okay?” You said rubbing your daughter’s back before she quickly jumped out of bed and into her own bathroom.
“Okay Mommy!” She said as she ran into the bathroom, turning on the sink to begin her morning routine. Some time passed and Katsumi got dressed and you went back in her room to help her dry her hair. You helped her put on her shoes and by the time they were on, Mina and Kiri were already at the door.
You opened it with a soft smile and the couple looked at you with supportive, sad eyes. “Hey guys..”
“It’s okay to be sad Y/N, we’re here for you.” Mina said. Your eyes teared up at her words but you shook your head and gave her a hug.
“Thank you, but I promise myself I wouldn’t cry. At least, not when Katsumi’s around. I gotta be strong for her. Her whole life’s about to change after all.” You sadly said as you looked down and released your hold on Mina. Your pink friend nodded before walking into the house to find Katsumi in her bedroom. You and Kirishima stayed at the door and talked a bit more.
“I’m so sorry for all of this Y/N. I should’ve been watching him more.” Kirishima said as he looked down in sorrow.
“Kiri, you shouldn’t have to watch him. He cheated and that was his choice. Your choice was being a true friend and telling me. A true man,” you joked. You both gave a little bittersweet laugh before calming down again. “Thank you so much Kirishima.”
The red head did nothing but pull you in for a tight hug. You almost cried on his shoulder before your daughter came to the both of you. “Uncle Kiri!”
You both separated and looked down at the excited 5 year old. She jumped onto her uncle and he happily held her in his arms. “Hey squirt. Ready for a day full of fun?”
“Mhm!” Katsumi replied. You all talked some more before Katsumi said her goodbye to you and went off with Kirishima and Mina. You shut the door and took a break as you allowed a few silent tears to drop. You wiped them away and went to pack your daughter’s bags. Just a few more hours and he’d be home..probably. All you knew was that you’d have to face him eventually.
Finally, you finished packing your daughter’s things and placed them in your car. You put on a jacket and waited for Katsuki to walk through the doors. Soon, this perfect little family would go crumbling to the ground.
—
Katsuki pulled into his driveway and his eyes took notice of your car still there. He smiled at the sight and quickly got out of the car. He slammed the vehicle door shut and ran to the entrance. He unlocked the door in a rush and to say he was happy to see you on the couch, still there, was an understatement.
“Y/N! Hey Teddy Bear! I am so sorry!” He said as he ran to you and sat down next to you on the couch, pulling you in for a tight hug. He was too happy to even notice your jacket and shoes that you wore.
“Katsuki, you were gone all night. Where were you?” You said in a soft voice as you placed your hand on his chest so you could face him.
“I-..I overdid it and spent the night at Kirishima’s. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, love. I was passed out the whole night.” He said and attempted to pull you in again but you pressed a hand to his chest to stop him. You couldn’t believe he was going to lie to you. Actually, now that you think about it, cheating wasn’t below him so why would lying be either?
“So why didn’t Kirishima call me? Or Mina?” You questioned. Unfortunately, you underestimated Katsuki’s quick tongue. He was a good liar, and if you hadn’t already known the truth, you’d probably believe him.
“Shitty hair’s phone died and Alien girl was asleep by the time we got back. By the time he put me in the guest bed, I knocked out so don’t asked me what happened after.” He said. Your anger and fury grew at his lies but he didn’t notice. “Look, I’m so sorry I came back so late but I can make it up to you Teddy Bear. Now would you just give me a hu-“
“SHUT! UP!” You screamed as you pushed him off of you. You stood up from the couch and Bakugou watched you in “confusion.” Bakugou felt his heart racing as he had a guess at why you were so mad but he refused to believe it.
“T-Teddy Bear, whats wrong?” He asked with shaky hands as he tried to reach out to you but you dodged all his attempts.
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! You’re fucking lying to me! You’re lying to me after doing what you did! Katsuki, are you just gonna act like you don’t know what you did?! Because I know! So why don’t you?!” You screamed at him. Bakugou still couldn’t believe you knew so he tried his soft attempts once more and reached out to you again.
“Baby, please calm dow-“
“Are you fucking serious Katsuki? You’re gonna tell me to calm down?!” You laughed out in disbelief. You watched as Katsuki’s lip began to tremble and he looked down in shame. “Say it.”
“What?” He spoke softly.
“Say what you did.”
“......”
“Say it Katsuki! Tell me what you did and how you betrayed not only me but your daughter too.” You specified. It took Bakugou a second before he spoke up in a soft, quiet voice.
“I cheated on you...”
“Louder.”
“I cheated on you!” He said while standing up and facing you with tears in his eyes. “I cheated on you! Okay?! I got drunk last night and slept with someone else but baby I swear I didn’t mean it!” He said as he walked to you and tried to hold you. You once again pushed his hands away before speaking back.
“It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not Katsuki! You still did it!” Your voice grew dry as it began to break. Your eyes pooled with tears as you continued. “I would’ve NEVER done that to you. I wouldn’t even be CAPABLE of doing that to you Katsuki! Because I love you!”
“I love you Y/N! I swear I do!” He fought back but you retaliated.
“It doesn’t seem like it! Because you slept with someone else! You promised me you would never hurt me. You promised you would always protect me. You promised me that you loved me and only me! Not only that but you promised your daughter that you would never bring harm to her! Guess what?! You’re the reason her whole life is going to be so fucked Katsuki! Do you realize that?!” You screamed at him.
“I do, Teddy Bear, I do!” He said.
“Don’t fucking call me that Katsuki!” You said with an exasperated voice. Bakugou shook his head as he walked to you and kneeled infront of you.
“Baby, please! I’m sorry! I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake but if we can forget about this I promise I’ll make it up to you!” He begged.
“Forget? Forget?! Are you insane?! I’m never gonna be able to forget any of this Katsuki. How the hell am I supposed to forget that my first friend, my first love, my first kiss, my first everything betrayed me like this! How am I supposed to forget that my husband, who I’ve known since we were fucking babies, cheated on me?! Tell me!” You said as the tears finally fell.
“I don’t know...I don’t know but I promise I can make it up to you! So please forgive me! Please stay!” He pleaded. The whole time he couldn’t let go of you. Every time you pushed him off, he just came right back.
“How am I supposed to trust that you’ll actually keep that promise?” You said softly with a sad voice. “If it wasn’t clear already, I’m not staying. We’re getting a divorce, Katsuki.”
Bakugou felt his heart shatter. He looked at you with his trembling body and shaky irises. “W-What?”
“Katsuki...you cheated. There’s no other way around it. No explanations or excuses. And you can’t even blame it on the alcohol because I’ve been blackout drunk before too and the idea of cheating on you never even crossed my mind. You have nobody to blame but yourself.” You said with a broken voice and a shrug. “We’re getting a divorce and I’m taking Katsumi with me.” You said and began to walk to the door.
Bakugou couldn’t believe what he just heard and so he got up from his knees and ran after you. He ran in front of you and held you by the shoulders. “What?! No! Baby!! Please, that’s my daughter! You can’t just take her from me, please!”
“I won’t be taking her from you,” you said and pushed his hands off your shoulders. “We can co-parent, but when she’s old enough, when Katsumi asks why we’re no longer together, I’ll be telling her the truth. So you can still see her, but when she’s ready to know, if she decides she hates you and doesn’t want to see you ever again, then you’ll have to accept it.”
At this point, Katsuki began to openly cry as he allowed his fat tears to flow down his face. Hiccups left his mouth as he shamelessly sobbed infront of you. “Y-Y/N....please don’t go. You guys are my family, you’re both my entire world..I-I love you both so much,” he said and went in to grab your hand, which you allowed. “I know I hurt you both a-and I know I fucked up, but please just give me another chance. I swear this was just a mistake, I never meant to do it. Please stay...please let me fix my mistake. I love you.”
Tears once again filled your eyes but you didn’t allow them to flow. “.....I love you too Katsuki,” at those words, Bakugou felt a bit of hope. “But I just can’t stay with you. If it was just me..I probably would give you another chance..but Katsumi is your daughter Katsuki. She’s your own flesh and blood and you betrayed her. You’re supposed to be her hero and you betrayed her like this. I just can’t trust the fact that you won’t do something like this again, and not just for my sake but for our daughter’s too. I’m sorry, but this is where we end.”
Once you said that you walked away from Bakugou, leaving him in shock. He stood there, regretting everything. Not just his mistake, but all the times where he could’ve been a better husband.
‘I should’ve held her more..I should’ve been home more...I should’ve been more for them,’ he thought until he heard the door open and slam shut. He turned to face it and looked around the now very empty house. He allowed silent tears to drip down his face and then he took a little tour of his new environment.
He walked to the master bedroom and saw all your belongings gone. He saw your closet was empty, all your shoes gone. He went into the bathroom and saw all your stuff was missing. The tears flowed faster and when he walked into his daughter’s room, it made it 10x worse.
He opened the door to the pink room and saw her bedsheets missing, all her toys gone, her closet was barren, and her bathroom was hollow. He walked back out to his little girl’s former bed and sat down. He cried on the bed and sobbed into his hands. He broke down as he thought back to your words. You were right.
‘You have nobody to blame but yourself.’
Katsuki looked up from his hands and when he did, he took notice of the picture frame that was left faced down on the night stand. He picked it up and his heart turned to dust. It couldn’t break anymore. He looked at the picture of his once happy family. His beautiful wife, his blessing of a daughter. His two girls who had a protector...that protector was supposed to be him...and he failed. He smiled at the picture but continued to cry. It was a beautiful sight but you left it behind.
He took the picture with him as he walked to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and held the frame close to his chest as he layed down on the cold mattress. Tears still freely fell as a shadow casted over his eyes. No words could be said except for a few.
“N-Nobody to blame but myself.”
@darl1ngmei
A/N: Hey Cubs! It’s been awhile since my requests have been closed AND THEY STILL ARE but the reason why I took this one was because I’ve been on a writing spree recently (I literally have 15 drafts full of different writing pieces🤣) and I rly liked this request! Please don’t start sending requests because they may just get lost. When I open up my requests, then you guys can send some because I love to satisfy! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this piece and thank you to the cub who requested this! 🧸💗
#bakugo x reader#bakugou fanfiction#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou imagine#bakugou x y/n#bnha#bnha bakugo katsuki#mha#bakugou x reader angst#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou#bakugou angst#bakugou katsuki angst#katsuki angst#bakugo angst#katsuki bakugou angst#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#mha bakugo x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugou#boku no hero bakugou#boku no hero academia#my hero academia bakugou#my hero academia#mha angst#bnha angst
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We're Just Friends! (Omega!bakugo x alpha!reader x omega!Izuku) pt. 3/?
Pt. 1 / / pt. 2
A/n: cannot believe we made it to pt. 3 I’m sksksksksk,,,, they finally get together! Pt 4/5 will b them all together and adjusting and then it’ll b readers bday so 👀👀
Lore: Once an Alpha reaches 21 they get their first rut, they’d either already have their mates or the rut will act as a push for them to get together and bond.
Summary: Reader and Katsuki have been friends for years, and everyone expects them to get together, until reader rescues an omega that lives in their building, and things get a touch more... complicated
Warnings: swearing, omegaverse, mad pining, Katsuki get exposed for going to therapy lmao, Izuku is kinda a shithead, Katsuki b mad insecure, reader is still dumb- everyone except for Izuku is bad at feelings
The two of you had gotten sidetracked, really quickly, it wasn’t even twenty minutes before you were putting a horror video on the tv. That was almost an hour ago, and you were about to doze off now, laying on your back with your head on the arm rest, Izuku right on top of you with his head tucked under your chin. You didn’t know how you got into this position, but you weren’t complaining, it was… nice. Perfect, almost, but something still felt like it was missi-
“Y/n- why the fuck are our stupid friends asking me about your new- Deku?” Katsuki burst through the door, already yelling, and his scent took on a burnt tinge that almost had you gagging when he slammed the door behind him.
“Kacchan! I didn’t realise you were Y/n’s roommate!” Izuku perked up almost immediately, sitting up so he was straddling you with his eyes fixed right on Katsuki.
“Wait, you two know each other-“ You tried to sit up, barely managing to turn your head to see Katsuki, Izuku was stronger than he looked, and he obviously didn’t want you moving-
“Yeah we go way back, childhood friends, right Kacchan?” Izuku’s tone was light, but you couldn’t see the feral look on his face from where you were trapped on the couch.
“Right… that doesn’t explain what the fuck you’re doing here, Deku.” Katsuki snarled, and Izuku giggled at the blonde. What the fuck kinda thing were you stuck in the middle of-
“What does it look like, Kacchan? We’re courting now! And Y/n’s already been such a good alpha, I’m surprised you didn’t ask them-“
“What does he mean you’re courting?” Katsuki’s tone was something you’d never heard before, and your heart twinged at it. “Get the fuck off of them Deku.” He walked closer to the couch, until he could grab onto your arm and haul you off, Izuku sliding back to the couch and pouting.
“He asked me on the way home and I accepted-“ Katsuki’s heart sank, he’d been too late? “I didn’t think you’d care, aren’t you courting Kiri?” Your scent was far too comforting, and the way it accompanied Izuku’s had Katsuki feeling something he definitely didn’t want to. Deku was a stalker! A creepy little nothing stalker! With great hair- no! And you looked so cute when you were confused like this-!
“Katsuki, are you okay?” You waved your hand in front of his face, and the blonde only let out another snarl. What if you found out about what he’d done to Deku, you’d never look at him the same, and from the way Deku was smirking the bastard knew it too.
“Whatever- I’m fucking going to bed.” Katsuki pushed past you, and you could only gawk as he disappeared down the hall and into his room.
It wasn’t supposed to go like this, you were meant to be with him, it had been the two of you for years! Why were you such a fucking idiot! Katsuki was fuming even as he hugged the pillow he’d stolen from your room, how dare Deku come back and steal you! Still, the nagging thought that coming back to the two of you… had felt like home wouldn’t get out of his head and it was only making him angrier.
“Katsuki? Izuku went back to his apartment, do you have any requests for dinner?” Your voice floated through his door and Katsuki opened his mouth to respond on instinct. No, if you wanted to be with Deku so badly you clearly didn’t care about him, and so he would stop caring about you.
“Katsuki? Please come out, I don’t understand why you’re upset but I want to.” You tried to keep the desperate tone out of your voice. It didn’t work, and Katsuki was biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself crooning in an attempt to calm you down.
“Okay… I’ll uh, just be in my room if you want to talk.”
This was getting out of hand, it was like you were living with a ghost. It had been three days of Katsuki ignoring you, three days of no contact whatsoever, and even though you had Izuku, and he was just… amazing, it still felt like something was missing. You actually didn’t think you’d gone this long without talking to Katsuki in- well since the two of you had met. But, it was finally the weekend, you’d have to run into him at some point, and then you could finally talk, even if he didn’t feel like it.
You were pulled into Izuku’s apartment before you could even knock, the omega giving you a deep kiss before quickly tugging you into a hug and rubbing his cheek over your scent gland.
“I missed you, Y/n! What took so long?” Izuku only pulled away when he couldn’t smell anything except you, and pride filled him when he saw you were wearing his sweater.
“Sorry Bub, I was trying to get Katsuki to talk to me but he’s still giving me the silent treatment.” You shrugged as he walked you over to the couch, something already playing in the background, and Izuku pushed you down without hesitation. You let the omega position you how he wanted, wasting no time wrapping your arms around him once Izuku settled down next to you with his head on your chest and your legs tangled together.
“You know… it does seem like he likes you, maybe you could suggest a triad? I know I wouldn’t object.” Izuku’s tone was so nonchalant you’d expected him to ask what you wanted to watch, not suggest bringing Katsuki into the relationship.
“You’d be okay with that? Really?” You hadn’t even considered that, you felt kinda stupid, honestly. Why hadn’t you- oh, right.
“I think he’s courting someone else, actually, I’m sure that’s why he’s being so weird.” You pushed any hope you had down when you remembered how much time Katsuki actually spent with Kirishima, and how close they seemed to be.
“If you say so, but I wouldn’t write the idea off, Kacchan’s always been good with surprises.” Izuku shifted to press a kiss to your scent gland, before he grabbed the remote and returned his attention to putting on a show.
It was Sunday, you hadn’t seen your roommate all weekend, this really wasn’t going how you planned. A sigh left you as you pushed open the door to your apartment, you’d been with Izuku for most of the day, and you were so, so ready to just go to sleep. You’d been exhausted for the last few days, and Denki kept commenting about how snappy you were and asking why your scent was ‘so weird man’ when the three of you had met for lunch. It was sweet how much they cared, but annoying as fuck nonetheless. You were wide awake outside your door though, almost missing the sweet caramel smell that leaked out until you had your hand on the handle. Your room didn’t usually smell like that, not unless-
“Katsuki-? What’s going on?” You pushed open the door to a very, very startled Katsuki, like a deer in headlights, really, and your confusion only grew when he was holding onto an armful of your clothes. “You could have just asked if you wanted something for your nest, but isn’t Kiri helping with that?” You closed the door behind you, and Katsuki’s eyes darted from you to the door. Fuck, you weren’t supposed to be home for another twenty minutes, you’d usually spend at least two hours at Deku’s place, why the fuck had you come back so early? Katsuki clutched the clothes tighter against his chest as neither of you spoke, you really still thought he was with shitty hair when all he really wanted was you?
“Katsuki? This is ridiculous- what’s going on with you? Why won’t you talk to me?” You stepped forward and Katsuki growled when you got within a foot of him, the sound setting you on edge and making you release a growl of your own on instinct.
“We’re gonna talk about this, I’m not letting you ignore me anymore, it sucks! It feels like there’s a piece of me missing-!” You stepped forward with every word, flinching at yourself when you heard your voice crack at the end.
“What does any of that matter? You have Deku now, the two of you are perfect together, you don’t need me anymore!” Katsuki yelled back, everything that happened the last day and the confused puddle that the state his feelings were in finally bubbling over. It was too much, he’d barely seen you and now here you were, reeking of Deku of all people, and accusing him of liking someone else.
“How could you say that? I need you, Katsuki-! I always need you! These last few days have been hell without you! It’s bad enough I have to deal with you courting Kiri, but now you don’t even talk to me and I don’t understand what’s going on!” Tears kept welling up in your eyes, and Katsuki dropped the pile of clothes on the floor, his hands balling into fists by his side.
“Because I don’t know- I don’t know what the fuck I’m feeling!” Katsuki’s voice broke, and you barely had time to open your mouth before he continued. “I thought that we- that we were set in stone, and then I come back to you and fucking Deku on the couch and fuck that hurt! But it fucking- it fucking felt like home, and all I wanted to do was join you and I don’t understand why!” He turned around to wipe his eyes, and your jaw hit the floor as you tried to process. He wasn’t… courting Kiri…?
“You’re such an idiot- you couldn’t just tell me this?” Exasperated didn’t even begin to cover how you felt.
“How could I say anything? I was horrible to Deku in school because I couldn’t deal with my feelings, why would either of you want to be with me after how awful I’ve been?” There was no anger in Katsuki’s tone anymore, and the guilty scent he was putting out was just putting you on edge.
“You regret it though, don’t you? And I know you’ve worked really hard to be better, and you even go to therapy now-“ Katsuki snarled at the last part, he hated whenever you brought up therapy, but at least you weren’t yelling.
“We actually talked it over and… Izuku and I both like the idea of a triad with- well with you, if you wanted.” You reached out to grab Katsuki’s shoulder, though he refused to look you in the eye when you turned him to face you. You had to be lying, you had to, you couldn’t mean that and he didn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing.
“Katsuki, you gotta talk to me, I can’t read your mind.” Your cards were all out on the table now, and your anxious scent was a dead giveaway to your feelings. What if you’d ruined everything? What if you’d gotten everything wrong- you were never good at guessing-
“You’re being serious? This isn’t some kind of payback?” Red eyes finally met yours and you could only nod, you still got caught of guard by how pretty he was. “Okay, I’ll join your shitty fucking triad.”
Taglist (pls lemme know if any of em r wrong)
@pasteldaze @hopeless-ro-simptic @ntngann @somerandominternetgirl-blog @ianem005 @lalaluvzen @antisocial-minnie @rogueofbullshit @hakunamatatayqueen @so-uncute @therealwalmartjesus @unlightedfool @all-the-kings-reblogs @cth-l
#omegaverse#bnha#bnha x reader#yandere x reader#yandere bnha x reader#omegaverse x reader#alpha reader#omega izuku#omega bakugou#bnha omegaverse#izuku x reader#yandere izuku x reader#yandere bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#poly#poly imagine
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The Azoff Family: A Case Study on one of the Music Industry’s Most Connected Families
(ft. a breakdown of the Grammy voting process and problems)
This is very long so I will try and split it up into categories for everyone (sorry I got carried away- I spent like 2 hours writing this) but enjoy!
*Disclaimer: I want to preface while the majority of this is based in research, some parts may be speculation. I don’t know the family personally so I can’t tell you what goes on behind closed doors but I can tell you how parts of the entertainment/music industry work. I’ve had 5 internships in the industry (one in marketing at one of the big record labels) and the rest of my work is publicity (what I enjoy) and events and a former advisor used to run in the same circles as Irving Azoff (and he spilled some tea last year) I’m not out here to diminish the hard work of any artists or their teams, I’m simply here to showcase parts of the industry that aren’t always shown.*
Please also see: Story Time: How Fan Pages Directly Impact Columbia Records Decisions and Harry Styles Image
IRVING AZOFF: NEVER STOP THE GRIND
Let’s begin with the great business man himself Mr. Irving Azoff
Irving Azoff is the literal posture child for connections and power in the music industry (he was also inducted into the 2020 rock and roll hall of fame class which is like a huge fucking deal for a manager to be inducted so you know he's the real deal)
In conclusion, I love Irving Azoff and his drive.
Irving Azoff: Early Years Run Down:
He came up middle class (dad was a pharmacist, mom a bookkeeper) in Danville, Illinois
He dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and managed local acts in the era
Opportunity came knocking and he got the chance to manage the Eagles and the rest is history
He's one of the best negotiators and has negotiated business on behalf of stars like Stevie Nicks, the Eagles, and Jimmy Buffet
Azoff has been an incredible manager and his drive to always advocate for his clients while basically not giving two sh*ts about what people think of him has gotten him the incredible reputation he has today.
All of Irving Azoff’s Major Job Positions:
Former President MCA (major label)
Former CEO of Ticketmaster and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation.
In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment (Currently still CEO)
----> Azoff also ran the Forum in Inglewood under Azoff MSG Entertainment after MSG purchased it in 2012 (it was sold in 2020 to the owner of the Clippers) — why do you think Harry played the forum for the Fine Line show? Azoff connection
Azoff MSG Entertainment encompasses all of the other companies including Full Stop Management, Global Music Rights (performance-rights org), and the Oak View Group (arena developing company)
He also is the co-founder and manager of the lobbying group Music Artists Coalition, a group that helps lobby for artists-rights issues such as royalty rates, copyright issue and healthcare insurance (see he's not all bad)
Essentially what I'm getting at is this man knows anybody who's anybody. He's the man you want on your team to help promote your music, plan your tour, and get you on that Grammy nom list.
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JEFFREY AZOFF: THE CHILD OF NEPOTISM
So for those of you that don't know, Jeffery Azoff is Harry's current manager and the son of Irving Azoff (the third of four kids). He's currently a partner at Full Stop Management, the company owned by Irving and the one artists such as Harry, Haim, the Eagles, Kings of Leon, and Meghan Trainer are signed to.
Jeffrey graduated from the University of Colorado's Leeds School of Business and started working fresh out of college at his father's old Management company (Frontline Management) working under Maroon 5's manager Jordan Feldstein (the only way you get that kind of internship/job as a 21 year old fresh out of college is if your family or family friends gives it to you). He worked here for 5 years.
Direct Quote from Irving Azoff to Jeffrey (really tells you a lot): "Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son."
After working for his father, Jeffrey moved on to the talent agency CAA (Creative Artist Agency) where he worked for roughly 3 and half years before joining his dad in forming Full Stop Management in 2016.
While he was at CAA, Irving moved over clients like Christina Aguilera and the Eagles to the talent agency to help with tour booking instead of doing it internally through LiveNation (he was CEO).
Even though I'm sure Jeff has had to work somewhat hard to get to where he is (or at least to mess up his dad's work as he doesn't seem like the type to take laziness well), the door into the industry and every job was basically handed to him on a silver platter.
Not to mention if you watch episodes of keeping up with the kardashians (like myself) you can actually see Jeff hanging out with kendall and the rest of the fam at their Palm Springs house (you know you're a nepotism kid if you have an in with the Kardashian crew). Invite me next time Jeffrey!!!
Think of the Azoff's as the mafia family of the music industry, you don't mess with the mafia
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THE GRAMMY AWARDS: STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS ON STEROIDS
Ok so here's where we’re going to get into a bit more of the speculation/grey area. I don't need to tell you that award shows are corrupt (See the Golden Globes Emily in Paris scandal) and the Grammys are not an exception. Think of the Grammys as one big student council/government elections where despite the fact the teachers tell you six times to vote for the best candidate, you're still going to vote for your friends even if they aren't the best.
A simplified break-down of Grammy voting:
1) Recording Academy voting members (artists, producers, musicians- anyone involved first hand with the creation of music; All voting members must have been producers, performers or engineers on six or more tracks of a commercially released album (or 12 or more digital tracks) and record labels will submit nominations in various categories to the grammys (songs need to be released commercially between October 1 of the previous year and September 30th of this year). You can also become a voting member by either winning a grammy or being endorsed by a current voting member (hint hint)
2) Once received, the recording academy with have the academy of trustees and its reviewers organize them and approve any changes to the 30 categories/fields (aka they can add new categories or remove old ones; so no best ukulele album of the year -- this is where things get funky)
There's speculation that during this stage when these special groups of 8-10 people are organizing genres, there's an "unwritten rule" that you need to be careful what album you green light (especially for famous artists) if you don't want them to win) (Rob Kenner said this- he used to be on one of these committees). Famous people tend to get more votes from clueless or lay Academy members that don't know the specialized categories or don't care enough to listen to songs that aren't radio trending.
3) After the nominations occur, Voting members begin their first voting. Members can vote for the four general categories of record of the year, album of the year, song of the year and best new artist and a maximum of 15 categories, all within their areas of expertise. Now the interesting thing is that while these are the guidelines there is literally nothing stopping them from voting in whatever categories they want (i.g. a rapper voting in the opera category despite not listening to opera). Theses ballots are all tallied and the top 20 entries are determined in each category (funky moment #2)
In 12 of the 84 categories those top 20 go to the ballot and it's done; for the rest it’s not like that. 59 categories including the big four go to a "nomination review committees" (identities are protected so they can't get lobbied... sure) who take a look at the top 20 and narrow it down to 7 or 8. (these are the special committees the Weekend talked about when he was snubbed). They're supposed to choose the nominees "based solely on the artistic and technical merits of the eligible recordings" which lets be real if that was the case Watermelon Sugar (along with most of the others in the category) I don't think would have been nomimated as they are very generic pop (none of them are special... sorry to the WM lovers out there).
This committee is basically held to THE HONOR CODE SYSTEM... I mean tell me when the last time the honor code system worked in literally any scenario (literally wtf). Don't take my word for it though the former CEO of the Academy Deborah Dugan (a queen) filed a complaint against the Recording Academy basically claiming that the nomination review process was rigged (she was fired after 5 months on the job).
Quote from Deborah Dugan "Members of the board [of trustees] and the secret committees chose artists with whom they have personal or business relationships... It is not unusual for artists who have relationships with Board members and who ranked at the bottom of the initial 20-artist list to end up receiving nominations."
These review committees can also exploit there power by adding up to two nominees that don't appear on the top 20 list to the final voting ballot (except in the 4 big categories - which watermelon sugar that one wasn't nominated for)
They also have craft committees for like non performance stuff (like album notes, engineering and arranging) that don't even get voted on by the academy voting members
4) After all of that fucked up mess, the grammy's decided is ok, the ballots go back to the voting members for the final vote. Deloitte (an accounting firm) then counts all of them, seals them in envelopes, and delivers them to the Grammy award show.
** The Grammy's just announced this year they're removing the "secret committees" so let's see how things shift in the next couple of years**
So obviously I'm not saying this to discredit Harry's nomination or his win as Fine Line was in the US top 20 albums for the majority of 2020, however, we must acknowledge privilege. Harry has a big name to him and a huge following, and while all of that shouldn't be taken into account, it does. He also has the Azoffs, a very well connected family with friends in lots of places that would be able to put in a good word here and there to get support behind Harry. Harry won best pop solo performance for Watermelon Sugar in a category with Doja Cat, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, and Dua Lipa. Look at the names there, the songs (ya'll can try and remember them cause I'm too lazy to write it out) and tell me that those top names with all of the music produced didn't get there through some connections.
Do with all this information what you will and if you are interested in learning more about the entertainment industry on your own Endeavor (owners of WME, a big talent agency like CAA) is hosting a free online program called the Excellence Program to help guide the future generation of industry executives. The program is a-synchronous and starts on July 12th. Highly recommend giving it a go if you're interested!!!
Alright ya'll that's it. Feel free to message me with your thoughts!
Extra Sources if you'd like to read:
https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkdndn/how-grammys-voting-actually-works-and-where-the-alleged-corruption-lies
https://www.grammy.com/grammys/awards/voting-process
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2020-11-05/irving-azoff-eagles-manager
https://celebrityaccess.com/caarchive/jeffrey-azoff-exits-caa-to-launch-new-management-company/
https://www.rollingstone.com/pro/features/grammy-awards-secret-committees-945532/
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grammy-awards-eliminate-secret-committees-voting-changes-1163887/
#harry styles#irving azoff#jeffrey azoff#Grammys#harry styles imagines#harry styles blurb#music industry#endeavor#wme#WME entertainment#Azoff#Harry#harry styles imagine#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles masterlist#harry styles one shot#harry styles angst
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The Revenge
Cillian and y/n had been together for 5 years, only these last few months he'd become seriously complacent and distant. Time for a wake up call.
Warnings - smut. This was a request from @being-worthy , I hope you like it!!
7pm. 7:15pm. 7:30pm. You kept glancing at your watch, the waiter bringing you another glass of wine as you sat, positively seething at the table. The third date night in a row he'd missed, and this was made you especially mad. Your anniversary meal. 5 years to the day since he asked you to be with him, properly be with him, after 2 months of being fuck buddies on the set of Peaky Blinders. You'd bagged the job of being his umbrella girl, so spent most of your time with him, and one thing had led to another after he'd invited you in for a game of cards and a bottle of Jameson's. Strip poker became your new favourite game.
You downed the wine, paid the bill and called a taxi back to your shared apartment. Walking in, he was nowhere to be found. Locking the door, seeing his keys still on the table in the hallway, you turned your phone off and went to bed.
"Sleep on the fucking porch, dickhead."
Waking up the following morning and turning on you phone to 17 missed calls and 7 voicemails, she smiled. Deleting all of them, she slipped one of his shirts on, and made her way downstairs to hear the front door being pounded. Smiling, you opened it to see Cillian stood there with a look of pure rage.
"Morning baby, have a good evening?" You opened it allowing him to enter.
"Where the fuck were you?? I've just spent the night sleeping in the fucking car y/n, why was your phone turned off?" He barged his way in, pushing past you to get to the toilet, his bladder screaming from inside him.
"Sleeping. Battery must have died. Shouldn't have left your house keys, should you?"
"Fucks sake... I'm going to bed." He stalked upstairs, not looking at you and went to bed. Now, you were really angry.
When he came back down a couple of hours later, he was still mad at you. Wouldn't say two words to you as you sat in the living room watching TV, coffee in hand. Into the kitchen he sulked, slamming cupboard doors to make his frustration clear to you. You just smiled.
You were showered now, but still wearing his shirt, buttons done low, exposing your cleavage, with no underwater underneath. You were determined now, plan in action, he was going to suffer for this. Walking into the kitchen, you opened the fridge to get some orange juice, bending completely Dr the waist, exposing your bare backside under the shirt. You felt his eyes on you, watching you, and inwardly grinned, though he couldn't see as your hips swayed slightly as you bent further to grab the juice at the bottom of the fridge. Standing back up, you turned to face him, shirt hanging off your shoulder now exposing almost down to your bare nipple, you straightened your body to drink from the carton, then bent again to place it back in the fridge. His eyes didn't leave your body once as he sat at the breakfast bar with a slice of toast.
"You mad at me, y/n?"
"Hmm? Why would I be made at you, now Cillian?" You smiled sweetly, noticing a small drop of juice on your finger, you licked it as seductively as possible, winked and left the room. Now he was confused... And hard. You smiled, knowing exactly what effect you'd had on him and went upstairs to get ready.
"I'm meeting Orla for lunch, I'll be back by 4." You called from the stairs.
"Tell my sister I said hello, yeah?"
"Maybe." You went upstairs to get dressed, within 20minutes you were out the door.
The following morning, you woke to find Cillian in his office downstairs on his laptop. You'd avoided him most of the previous evening, making him sleep in the guest bedroom. Sure to keep him out of the bedroom you shared, you'd locked your door.
Perking your nipples slightly to harden them, you stood at his office door.
"Hey... Um..." He glanced at you at the door and had to swallow a gasp. You winked at him, before making your way back upstairs. You heard him growl slightly, close his laptop and follow you. Sadly for him, you made your way into the bathroom, and locked the door. Bath time.
Sinking your body under the water, you could hear Cillian moving around upstairs, just outside the bathroom door.
"Y/n will you tell me what it is I'm supposed to have done wrong?" He paused outside the door knocking lightly.
"Mmm.... God this bath feels nice... Warm water on my skin... Fuck I needed this..." You moaned as seductively as possible, keeping your voice just loud enough so he could hear you.
"Y/n open the door... I can make that bath even better..." His voice deepened. This was working like a dream.
"Mm.... Don't you have another appointment with your agent Cillian?" He knew he was in trouble. You never called him by his full name, it was 'Cill', 'babe', but only Cillian when he'd pissed you off. Which he'd clearly done, but had no clue as to how.
Over the course of the following fortnight, you'd kept Cillian at bay, he was still sleeping in the guest room, your bedroom door remained locked overnight (he'd tried, you'd heard him, it was fucking hysterical) while you continued to seduce and tease him mercilessly. Orla had called to say he'd even tried calling her to find out what he'd done, but good as gold, she told him she had no idea what he was talking about.
Cillian had had enough at this point. He'd even tried getting himself off at night but he couldn't do it - his hands just weren't as good as yours, it wasn't the same. He genuinely thought his balls were going to explode, the tension inside him was driving him insane. He called his sister Orla again when you went out to do the food shop, desperate this time.
"Orla I need your help please, I'm your brother... Please? Surely she's told you what it is I'm supposed to have done wrong? All I did was go out with Adam for one night and she's barely spoken to me and hasn't TOUCHED me since!"
"Woah now, that's waaaay to much info for your sister to be hearing now!" She laughed at the other end of the phone, rolling her eyes. Y/n had done very well to keep this up for two whole weeks.. maybe it was time for some sisterly advice for her older brother.
"Cillian when did you go out? What date?"
"Few days after my birthday, so the 30th May I think, why?"
"No, it wasn't the 30th. Think again. Check your dates." He put his phone on loudspeaker and checked his calendar. Then it dawned on him. Oh fuck... Oh shit... Shit shit shit!!
"The 27th.. oh fuck Orla it was the 27th.. and I'm looking at the fucking calender entry for our date night saved as a fucking DRAFT!! I didn't set it properly... Oh fuck Orla I'm a dead man, how's she not killed me?"
"I think in a way she has Cillian!! You've got some serious making up to do - not like the first time it's happened now is it?" He groaned... This would be the hat trick. Three date nights missed because he couldn't work the fucking calendar app on his new phone properly.. but that excuse wasn't going to wash now, he'd had plenty of opportunity to sort his sorry ass out. And to miss their anniversary dinner? No. He'd make this right. He thanked his sister, ended the call and opened a different app on his phone. Operation Clemency was in motion.
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You left your friends house on Friday afternoon to see Cillian's car parked outside. You could see bags on the back seat, him standing by the open passenger side door waiting for you.
"What are you doing Cillian?"
"Surprising my girlfriend. Listen y/n, I've been a fucking idiot okay? Missing our anniversary date, after missing two before that.. neglecting you, neglecting US... Let me make it up to you, yeah?" You couldn't help but smile, nodding your head you took his hand as he led you into the passenger seat, closing the door behind you.
All the way there you stole glances at one another, Cillian refusing to tell you exactly where you were going. You couldn't help the feeling of excitement - never in 5 years had he done anything like this, you'd have to make a habit of punishing him if this was the outcome..
Pulling up outside a large manor house an hour later, you gasped in shock.
"Shit.. Cill this is beautiful!"
"It's ours." You nearly had whiplash from the sudden head turn in his direction. "I bought it last month, I was waiting until your birthday next week to surprise you, but now seemed like a much better option. Welcome to our new holiday home baby." You couldn't help the tears forming in your eyes.
"Oh my god... But how? When? I don't understand!"
"All those appointments with my agent? Didn't you wonder why I wasn't getting any work from it all? I was at the bank sorting the mortgage for this place! Picked the keys up yesterday, it's fully furnished and ready for us. I figured we could spend the Summers here. Beach is less than a 5 minute walk away, the boys will love it." You were stunned. Well and truly stunned.
Leaving the car, you walked to the front door, Cillian handing you the keys. You opened it and walked inside into the most beautiful setting - it was newly decorated exactly to your liking. It was perfect. You turned to face him.
"You know, I might just forgive you after all..."
"Nope. Not yet. I'm not done." He smirked. "I want you to go upstairs - our room is second on the left. Lay down on the bed and I'll be up in 15 minutes." Raising an eyebrow, you complied, walking up the stairs eagerly anticipating what he had planned. "Fully clothed y/n... Don't remove a damn thing."
You walked in to find a large double bed with fresh sheets, covered in rose petals. Candles lined most of the hard surfaces in the room. It brought a lump to your throat. A fresh bouquet of flowers on the chest of drawers under the window, with a small envelope under them, your name written in Cillians hand writing. You opened it to find a two tickets to the new Enda Walsh play showing at the Gaiety later that week - it was sold out and you remembered telling him you were disappointed to miss it, but when you're Cillian Murphy, sold out meant nothing.
Hearing him coming up the stairs you quickly lay down on top of dozens of rose petals on the bed. He walked in slowly, casting an eye over your body. This would be the hardest thing to do now, trying to control himself, but he was determined to make this last as long as possible. Moving to the old record player in the corner of the room, he turned it on, allowing the gentle sounds of the music to fill the room softly. Making his way over to you, he kneeled on the bed, eyes never leaving yours.
"You're not to move unless I tell you to, okay? Just relax. Sit up." You sat up as he lifted your t shirt over your head, swiftly followed by your bra. Pushing you back down and turning you onto your front, he carefully sat himself across your legs, opening a small bottle of something you couldn't see. Suddenly his hands were on your back, smoothing the oil into your skin, putting pressure all over it. Closing your eyes, you relaxed into the massage as he skilfully eased away as many knots as he could find in your slender muscles.
"Fuck... Cill that feels amazing... Don't stop, please..." He bit his lip, he could feel his erection forming under his jeans and willed himself to have self control. Two weeks without touching you was a long time...
He moved his hands lower, teasing the waistband of your jeans as he moved his body down, pulling them over your hips, underwear following. Now you were completely bare, his hands now expertly rubbing hard circles over your thighs, your calves, then your feet. Your core was burning now, his touch, even after 5 years, doing things to your body you still couldn't believe we're possible. Your hips twitched slightly with the throbbing feeling you couldn't ignore deep in your groin. He could almost smell it, the need in you. Smiling, his hands moved back up your legs, dipping between your thighs and moving closer to where you desperately needed him. He grinned, and teased his fingers closer, then pulled them away. Back over your firm cheeks, up your spine slowly. You groaned, you were positively on fire now.
"Patience..." You bit your lip as he whispered in your ear. He turned you onto your back, now running his hands over your belly as he moved back to hover over your waist. Hands moving higher, he kneaded your breasts, knowing it would drive you crazy.
"Ahh... Fuck Cill... Baby please..." He chuckled, this was more fun than he anticipated, why had he never thought of this before?
Leaning down, he trailed a line of kisses long your exposed neck, your head flung back as he continued his assault on your breasts. Nipping the skin, sucking lightly, you arched against him. You felt close to an orgasm already and he hadn't even got to the good part yet. Your breath coming out in short bursts as his lips moved lower over your collarbone.
"Feel good baby? Feeling close huh? Keep those noises coming, fuck you're turning me on right now..." His voice was intoxicating, his hands roaming, now his lips, you couldn't stop the heat rising in your belly, that familiar knot forming, how was this even possible? You didn't care, and you couldn't stop it - you came hard, bucking your hips up to meet his as it overtook you.
"Fuck... Baby oh my god...." You came down from your high and looked into his eyes, now darker and desperate. He was trying so hard to control it but the control had gone. He hadn't expected you to cum from this alone, clearly he wasn't the only one who'd gone without these last 2 weeks.
"Take them off." He didn't argue. His clothes were removed quick as lightening as he opened your still quivering legs. He quickly pushed himself inside and stopped, just enjoying the feeling of your core swallowing him again.
"Jesus.. I swear you got tighter..." You raised your hands to his face and glared at him.
"Shut up, and fuck me Mr Murphy." With pleasure, he thought to himself, as he pounded into you hard and fast, both of you groaning into each others mouths as you kissed hungrily, desperate to get as physically close as possible. You rolled him onto his back, keeping him inside you, as you leaned back and rode him hard. You moved his hands to hold onto the bed frame behind him.
"You've touched me enough, it's my turn." Your hands roamed over your own breasts now, hips still rocking against his, your second orgasm fast approaching. You knew, after 2 weeks of abstinence, he wouldn't last long and you were right.
"Baby.. slow down.. I can't... Oh fuck... Ah... Feels too good..." He was raising his hips to meet yours, you felt your orgasm taking over.
"Cum baby... Need to feel you... Fill me up... Drown in me..." He couldn't hold back any longer and with a final, hard groan he came, filling you. His hands came to rest at your frozen hips, he felt your walls clench around him as you came alongside him, both of you breathing heavily as you came back down to earth from the most exquisite high either of you had ever had. Leaning your body back down to kiss his lips, you gave him one more squeeze of your walls, emitting a twitch and a gasp from him, before collapsing next to him.
"Fuck... My god Cill, I'm gonna have to punish you like this more often..."
"The fuck you are y/n, never again are we going more than 24 hours without sex, ever.. I don't care how mad you are at me.." you both laughed, curling up in each others arms, Cillian whispering how sorry he was in your ear, how much he loved you, as you gently fell asleep.
The following morning you woke to an empty bed, but you could smell coffee and breakfast being prepared downstairs. You made your way down wearing just his T shirt from the day before and found a full breakfast waiting for you. Sausages, eggs, bacon, toast, juice, croissants... All there on the countertop. A plate, cutlery and a coffee waiting for you.
"Just missing the pinny Mr Murphy..." You giggled as he turned and stuck his tongue out at you cheekily.
"Eat up and get dressed y/n, I'm taking you for a walk this morning." Smiling, you ate, and an hour later you were stood on the beautiful golden sands of the beach 5minutes from your new holiday home. Watching the waves crash, you were the happiest you'd felt in a long time. You heard Cillian behind you.
"Turn around, y/n." As you did, he took your hands in his and kissed your lips.
"If I have to spend every single day for the rest of my life saying how sorry I am, I will. If I have to spend every second making it up to you, I will. You have completed my life y/n.. after my divorce, I didn't think I'd ever be lucky enough to find love again. Then you came along and everything slotted into place. My boys adore you.. their Dad couldn't live without you.. y/n..." He sank down to the ground, reaching into his jeans pocket. Bringing a small, velvet box back up to you, your breath caught in your throat, tears already in your eyes.
"Make me the luckiest man in the world y/n.. marry me?" You fell to the floor alongside him, tears openly falling now as you cried, pulling him close, kissing him softly.
"Yes!! Oh my god a million times over, yes I'll marry you!!" You both grinned, standing now as he held out your left hand, slipping the simple, white gold band and diamond onto your finger. Nothing else mattering in that moment apart from the dreams you both shared of the amazing future you had ahead of you.
@queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @being-worthy @margoo0 @cloudofdisney
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PART 4
Tristan had slapped his menu shut before you could even sit down. He’d been begging you to try a new place in Encino with him, you figured it was a good excuse to get Zoey out of the house and to let Maeve and CeCe duke it out in Shelli and Irv’s backyard instead of yours.
It was all work talk at first, he offered an update on a meeting you missed to drop off Maeve at a friend’s and Zoey sucked down a glass of wine promising to pump and dump before the night ended.
But now your plates were in front of you and you twirled spaghetti around your fork when she asked: “How’s your pool boy?” You stared up at her, unimpressed.
“He’s not my pool boy, and he’s fine.”
Tristan raised his eyebrows across the table. “Would you let Harry Styles be your pool boy?”
“Can we not talk about him like this, please?”
“Oh come on,” Tristan pulled a face. “If you’re not going to sleep with him at least let us fantasize.”
You must have twitched, a quick glance in Zoey’s direction or a quiver of your lip. Zoey leaned in and her voice was serious. “What was that?”
“What? Nothing.”
“What do you mean what was that?” Tristan asked.
“She made a weird face when you said that.”
“No I didn’t,” you defended. “I just don’t like talking about him in public, especially like this.”
“Bullshit,” Zoey laughed, leaned back in her chair. “What are you not telling us? Did you see him shirtless again?”
You let out a breath, wiped at your mouth and wondered if telling them would be the biggest mistake of your life. You couldn’t even get the words out before Zoey leaned in.
“You had sex with him?!” her eyes nearly bugged out of her head, Tristan’s fork clanked against his plate when his jaw dropped open.
You’d made it a whole week, almost. You pushed the thoughts down and brushed them under the metaphorical work rug. The body wash prototypes were in, you were booking models to do a photoshoot, video shoot, everything was getting lined up for the rollout in another few weeks. You didn’t have time to tell them about something silly and stupid and maybe a part of you didn’t want to fill them in because you were afraid they’d burst your bubble. It’ll never work out, what happens when his house is ready, he has a tour to go on.
“Be quiet,” you looked around and worried if anyone had overheard Tristan’s not-so-subtle name drop. “It’s not a big deal, okay? It’s not like it’s gonna be a regular thing.”
Tristan pulled his head back, offended by your words. “You had sex with him and you’re not going to make that a regular thing? Have you seen him?”
“Yes,” you made a face at Tristan. “I have seen him.”
“You are going to hit and quit Harry Styles?” Zoey leaned in and said his name much more quietly now.
“Well,” you dropped their gaze for a second, reluctant to be honest with them in fear of their reaction. “It’s happened once, and then we kissed once but CeCe came down, but she didn’t see anything. I’m just too old to be hooking up with a twenty-four year old.”
“Wait, okay, slow down. When did this happen?” Zoey asked.
“After my birthday dinner,” you shrugged. “We came home, had wine, the girls were out.”
“And when did you make out with him aside from that night?”
“The next night. And we didn’t make out, it was barely even open-mouthed.”
“Ew,” Tristan grimaced.
Zoey snapped to get your attention. “So twenty-four hours after you had sex, you kissed him?”
You made a face at her, unsure where she was going with it. You hadn’t been clocking or documenting your sexual encounters. “I don’t know, probably.”
“This is straight out of a trashy romance book written for middle aged women,” Tristan leaned back in his seat and took a pull from his glass of rosé. “I mean that in, like, a nice way.”
“Okay,” Zoey leaned forward. “So, nothing has happened since a week ago, then?”
“No,” you shook your head quickly. “Just those times. And I don’t think anything should happen again.”
They both groaned at the same time, Zoey’s shoulders sunk and she rolled her eyes. “You deserve to have sex with a hot guy.”
“I never said I didn’t.”
“Even if he’s younger than you.”
“I don’t want to traumatize my children.”
“Well you don’t have to have sex in front of them,” Tristan made a goofy face and you waved him off.
Zoey snorted out a laugh but you ignored their immaturity.
“I mean that having Harry here is already probably confusing for them, right? Their dad leaves, their grandpa dies, now we have some stranger in our house and he’s playing with them in the backyard and--”
“Being more of a dad to them than Luke ever was?”
Zoey’s words brought a sigh out from between your lips. “Exactly.”
“Having a positive male role model is good for them,” Tristan said.
“Sure,” you nodded. “But what about when Harry moves out? He’ll just be another man that will leave them. They’ll be super fucked up.”
Tristan reached forward and took your hand in his. “Hey--it’s more about the fact that they have you and they have other people who love them. Who cares if their idea of a family isn’t the stereotypic, heterosexual norm?”
“I know,” you relented. “I just don’t want them to be poorly adjusted.”
“Okay, that sounds like something an obnoxious prep school guidance counselor would say to you,” Zoey eyed you with skepticism.
You shrugged your shoulders. “It was Maeve’s teacher.”
“Okay, fuck that teacher!” Tristan nodded. “Your kids are adjusting, and that’s because of how good of a mom you are to them. And mommy deserves a pool boy.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, even if his words were worthy of an eye-roll. Zoey tried not to let wine drip from her nose after a snort escaped between sips.
“Not my pool boy!” You giggled.
“Which is good,” Tristan nodded, his tone completely serious. “That would be so cliché even Nora Roberts wouldn’t write it.”
**
Slumber parties always made you anxious. They were one of those things that made you question how on earth people trusted you to watch a group of children when sometimes, you still felt like one yourself.
Maeve’s 11th birthday party was no exception. Five other girls danced around your living room and CeCe sat at the counter while you iced cupcakes. Her little face was scrunched into a pout so intensely that it almost made you giggle.
“You alright?” You asked her, dish towel over your shoulder when she let out another sigh.
“Just wish I could play with them,” she held her palms towards the sky in exasperation, reaching for a container of sprinkles when you let out a laugh.
“You get to go for ice cream with Uncle Jeff, remember? You’re gonna go to the beach, too, I think.”
You’d been trying to bribe her all week: a new tutu, a new doll, anything she wanted just to make her give up and accept the fact that her older sister didn’t want her at her slumber party.
And you couldn’t blame either of them. Of course Maeve didn’t want her younger (and very loud, dramatic, and demanding) younger sister trailing behind all night. But, on the other hand, of course CeCe felt left out when she saw all of the older girls arrive with their sleeping bags and birthday gifts.
She sighed again, your conversation interrupted by a ringing from your cell phone on the counter beside her.
“Uncle Jeff?”
She was right, you reached for the phone and held it up with your shoulder, hoping the laughter from the living room wouldn’t travel it’s way into the speaker.
“Hi--are you here?”
“Y/N, I am so sorry to do this--”
“Oh god, Jeff, no!”
“I just got called into the office because one of my artists apparently just posted some stupid shit on the internet--isn’t there someone else who can hang out with CeCe? Where’s Tristan?”
“I don’t know where he is, but I doubt he’d be thrilled to play dress up or skip through a park.”
“Zoey?”
You could hear traffic through his line, his karma for backing out at the last minute was having to sit on the 405. “She has a ten-week-old infant, Jeffrey.”
“Well where’s Harry? Can’t he pitch in?”
You let out a groan, CeCe had taken to pouring sprinkles into her hand and lapping them up with her tongue.
Harry was upstairs, hiding away from the girl gang currently singing karaoke and sipping on juice boxes. He had the day off and had dipped out in the afternoon to meet a friend for lunch. You tried to mind your own business--he could come and go as he pleased and just because you had slept with him once didn’t give you the right to suddenly start asking questions about his plans.
But the universe pitied you, apparently, because right when you told Jeff you’d figure it out and hung up on him aggressively, Harry pranced down the stairs and headed for the fridge.
“How’s it going down here?” He reached for a juice box, crisp apple, and fumbled with the straw when he turned to face you.
“Everyone is alive and nothing is broken,” you scanned the counter, another batch of cupcakes still in the oven with 10 minutes to go.
With the straw now between his lips, he raised his eyebrows. “Bar’s that low, huh?”
“Well, your friend Jeffrey just bailed on watching CeCe and going for ice cream.”
She was blissfully unaware of the change of plans, still licking sprinkles out of her palm, but now swiveled around on the stool to watch the girls jump around in the other room.
“I can take her,” he shrugged nonchalantly, ran a hand through his hair when you stared at him for a second.
If traffic was Jeff’s karma, Harry must have been yours.
“Are you serious? You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all,” he smiled. “CeCe? What do you say we do ice cream and pizza?”
She turned around at the sound of her name, her eyes lit up. “Pepperoni?” She asked.
“Of course,” Harry replied to her like it was a crazy question.
“Is Uncle Jeff coming?”
“He’s not,” You informed her, arms crossed over your chest. “You’re alright to go with Harry?”
You didn’t mean to make it awkward, but mom mode kicked in and you realized CeCe had never spent time alone with Harry except maybe in the backyard.
“Yeah!” She hopped down from the stool and grinned up at him. “Can I get a milkshake?”
Harry looked over to you and when you nodded, he held out his hand. “As many as you want.”
“That’s not what I said,” you called after him, watching as he led her over to the back door. He plucked his keys off the hook on the wall and smiled at you over his shoulder. “Please don’t be out late, text me when you get where you’re going!”
CeCe shouted a bye mommy!!!! before they disappeared into the driveway. A sudden raise in your pulse had you questioning what type of mother lets their 6-year-old get in the car with a pop star who’s probably hounded by paparazzi and maybe even doing cocaine on the weekends.
You picked up your phone and it rang four times before Zoey answered. “I need you to talk me off the ledge.”
“What ledge?”
The timer beeped and you gloved up to retrieve the rest of the cupcakes. “I’m apparently a psychopath because I just let Harry take CeCe for pizza and ice cream.”
You could tell she held back a laugh. “Why does that make you a psychopath?”
“Because he’s a stranger! What if he never comes back with her? What if he gets chased by paparazzi and CeCe is the next Princess Diana?!” The thought shuttered through your bones, a shiver down your spine when Zoey cleared her throat.
“Okay, so, as a mom, I totally get that. But I also think you’re freaking out too much.”
The cupcake tin rattled onto the granite. “How?!”
“He’s not a stranger, he’s been living with you guys for like, over a month now.”
You thought about it for a second. Two weeks turned into a few more, four weeks slipped by easily. What felt like it was going to be a blip on the radar now felt like a totally normal thing: dinners with him as the fourth seat and texts to him in the middle of the day asking if there was anything he was in the mood for.
“I just can’t believe I trust him enough to do that, I guess.”
“Y/N, he’s a good guy,” she laughed. “He likes your kids and he definitely likes you.”
“We’re not going there,” you said. “I have a house full of ten-year-olds and cupcakes to frost.”
“Okay, well, you’re not a psychopath. And there’s nothing wrong with having feelings for him.”
“Zoey! You are starting to sound like the psychopath!”
“I’m alright with that,” laughter through the phone when you told her you had to go. Love you, see you later, pinch Benny’s cheeks for me.
You were swept up in the excitement of the night. Your own pizza was delivered before 8pm, a movie turned on by 9pm. They decorated cupcakes at the dining room table and proceeded to eat more than they could fit in their tummies.
Maeve was in heaven, opened presents when you snapped pictures on your phone. Harry had texted to let you know they’d stop at Shelli and Irv’s before heading home. If CeCe came home in the middle of presents, she’d probably break down right there.
So when you heard the alarm signal a new entry, you hoped CeCe was too tired to argue with you about sleeping in her own room and not in Maeve’s with the rest of them. Your legs were folded beneath you on the couch, noise in the kitchen when Harry rounded the corner with CeCe asleep on his shoulder.
You stood up, eyebrows high when he smirked in your direction. “She’s out cold,” he laughed. “Fell right asleep on the way home.”
“It’s like a ten minute drive from their house,” you said, opening your arms to take her. “Sorry, here.”
“I can bring her up...just lead the way,” he motioned with his head for you to go first up the stairs. He followed you down the hall and to CeCe’s room, pink walls and a plush carpet underneath her twin-sized bed that still seemed too big for her.
He put her down when you flipped on a nightlight, watched when you tugged the duvet over her and kissed her on the forehead. You sighed when you stood up straight beside him, voice quiet. “I’m not waking her up to brush her teeth cause she’ll freak out and want to be included in the party. Am I a bad mom?”
He crossed his arms over his chest, smirked down at you quickly before looking back to her. “You’re a great mom.”
You elbowed him in the ribs playfully. “You have to say that.”
“I do?”
“I’m your landlord,” you laughed, leading him back into the hallway.
“I thought you were my friend?”
A sigh, the darkness a cover for your confusion and your fluttering heart beat. “Yeah, that too.”
He was quiet for a second, if it weren’t for the bedroom of kids down the hall you’d pull him into you despite better judgment. He stared down at you with a dimpled smile, but you took a step back.
“Thanks for taking her, and hanging out with her. You really didn’t have to.”
“I had fun,” he reassured you. “We got a pizza and ate in a park near Westwood Hills, then got ice cream, visited with Shelli and Irv,” he listed it off like it brought him as much joy as it did her.
“Hey, not to be weird or anything, but--how’s your house coming?”
He sensed the shift in the air too, but he didn’t know that it came from a place of fear. A question you had to ask: this was temporary, this wasn’t real, this was just a convenient set up and you couldn’t lose sight of that.
“Oh, yeah--I’m going over on Sunday to see it. Apparently there are still issues with the plumbing that have to be updated. They said it might be a few more weeks.”
“Okay, I just didn’t know.”
“Yeah, is that okay? I can try to find somewhere to stay if you need me out?”
“No,” you said it quickly. “I don’t need you to leave.”
“Okay,” he said, his eyes still on yours. He reached forward to brush a piece of hair behind your ear. “I like staying here with you guys.”
“...I like it too.”
“Mom?” Maeve’s head poked out of her bedroom. “Hayley spilled soda on the carpet!”
He stepped back from you quickly, like his reflexes were getting better each time. You laughed at his sudden movement, “coming!”
He smiled down at you and let out an exaggerated sigh once Maeve’s door was slammed shut and the music was back on, a magnetic pull between your chests that maybe he felt too. “Hayley, Hayley, Hayley.”
But again, a rush of uncertainty and self-doubt made you grateful for the interruption, your stomach weaving itself in knots when you stared at your ceiling fan and hoped that sleep would come.
Work picked up in the next week, Tristan was in your office most days with spreadsheets and graphs and to-do lists that made you feel like you needed a margarita at 2pm. On Wednesday Harry made dinner and CeCe had a meltdown when you forced her to take a bath.
Friday night entailed dinner at Shelli and Irv’s, the girls and Harry and Jeff too. You stood in the kitchen with a glass of wine in hand, Shelli watched as their chef sautéed something through steam. When Jeff pulled Harry away to show him a new guitar Irv had been gifted, you ignored the smile on Shelli’s face.
“How are things going?”
“Fine,” you said, casually and calm and cool. “How are you?”
“Y/N,” she smiled. “Does Jeffrey know?”
“Know what?”
“About you and Harry?”
“No,” you told her quickly. “There’s nothing to know, alright? We were drunk, it was not a big deal.”
“Alright,” she held up a hand, effectively resigning when she sipped her Pinot Grigio, a disappointed sigh before she asked: “How are the girls holding up?”
You sighed, unsure if she’d really drop it. You told her about Maeve’s birthday party and caught her up on the body wash debut. Deadlines were quickly approaching, the launch party was being scheduled and production was full steam ahead.
You almost thought you’d make it through the rest of the night without any drama--no more mention of Harry or the happenings between you. But eventually he and Jeff found their way back to the kitchen and you hoped that no one noticed how close Harry stood to you.
Jeff was in the middle of filling you and Shelli in on Harry’s album plans: they were wrapping up production and soon they’d announce the release date, his excitement cut off by a shout from the backyard.
“Mommy!” CeCe’s voice was shrill and desperate as it rang through the house. She let out a loud sob and when you looked up, you saw her clutching her elbow with a new grass stain on her shirt. She was fine, it was one of those moments where she thought the world was ending but everyone else knew getting knocked over by her sister wouldn’t kill her.
“She’s fine,” Maeve rolled her eyes, a quick look down to CeCe who’s eyes were already filled with tears.
“No I’m not!” she screamed back at her sister.
You looked to Shelli with an exasperated look, set your glass of wine down on the counter. Before you could make any movement, though, Harry’s hand hovered on the small of your back. “I’ll go, enjoy the wine. She’s fine.”
He was right, there was no question that CeCe would survive her scraped elbow and bruised ego. He moved towards the backyard and you were frozen in place when Jeff’s forehead wrinkled.
“What was that?” he asked, eyebrows strung together like tea lights once Harry was out of earshot.
“I don’t know--what do you mean?”
You looked over at Harry, now on the ground in front of CeCe who’s wails were much quieter. She wiped at her wet eyes, a little laugh escaped her lips when Harry brushed the grass off of her elbow and cracked a joke.
“Well, he seems pretty good with them,” Jeff leaned against the counter, the sliding door providing a perfect view as CeCe stood up and raced back towards Maeve.
“Yeah, I mean, he is.”
“He also touched your back in a funny way.”
Shelli raised her eyebrows and sipped at her wine again.
“And now my mom is making a weird face,” Jeff’s eyes narrowed when he looked at you. “Are you--is there, like, something going--”
“No,” you said quickly, a finger pointed at Shelli and another pointed at Jeff. “Do not say anything in front of the girls.”
Shelli stifled a laugh but managed to look incredibly innocent at the same time.
“Oh my god!” Jeff said this with a noise of shock, eyes wide when he looked between you and Shelli, then back out to the yard where Harry laughed with Irv. “Oh my god, and you knew?”
Shelli shrugged her shoulders, a don’t blame me look crossed her face when you took a swig of wine to calm the pounding of your heart.
Jeff had always been protective and caring and like a brother. Not in a weird way, not in the you can’t date my friends way. Just in the sense that he wanted to know who you were hooking up with and he’d been encouraging you relentlessly to stop picking assholes ever since you filed for divorce.
But this was different, this was a friend of his and a client of his. It was someone that his entire family knew and this was probably the worst choice of rebound.
“Please relax,” you said this with a look of warning in his direction. “I will explain to you what your lunatic mother is smirking about but you have about fifteen seconds to wipe the look of shock off your face before he comes back in here.”
“She’s fine,” Harry waved a hand once he was back in the kitchen. “And what look of shock are we wiping off of our faces?” The dimple was there again, the corner of his mouth pulled up and he scanned all three of you for any sort of information.
“Just that you are so good with the girls,” Jeff covered for you, a confident nod when he hoped Harry would believe him.
“That’s surprising to you?” Harry pulled his head back, an obvious look of mock offense. “I’m great with children. They love me.”
Maeve came in from the fading light, out of breath from running around with whatever ball they’d gotten their hands on. “Who loves you?”
“Kids,” Jeff replied for him.
“Oh,” Maeve said. “Yeah.”
“Yeah?” You looked down at her, unsure if she was agreeing or just voicing that she understood.
She shrugged, plucked a chicken skewer from a dish in front of Shelli. “I mean, I like having him around.”
Harry was practically tickled pink. “Thank you, Maeve.” He turned to rub this in Jeff’s face. “See?”
“He cooks well, plays outside with us, definitely funnier than mom,” Maeve kept listing things off, pulling laughter from the rest of the crew.
“Maeve!” You whined. “I’m funny!”
“You’re like, sometimes funny.”
“Sometimes funny is better than never funny,” Harry nodded in your direction, an attempt to soften the blow.
CeCe had wandered in behind her sister, she picked at the scrape on her elbow until you called her attention. “CeCe--do you think mommy’s funny?”
“Mmmm,” the thought on it for a second, put her finger to her chin and scrunched up her nose. “Sort of.”
Jeff let out a big laugh at that, Harry tried to stifle one and you dismissed the jabs. “Okay, well, it’s not like anyone here is a comedian.”
“Harry’s funny,” CeCe said with a smile. “He reads books in silly voices.”
Jeff’s eyebrows shot up at that again, amused and surprised by the fact that Harry was in on the bedtime routine. But it was infrequent, sometimes CeCe would beg for more time outside or another thirty minutes of TV.
If the tears got aggressive or the tantrum became too much, she perked up pretty quickly if Harry offered to read with her. It was way more exciting than reading with you, Maeve had explained.
After showering Harry with compliments, the girls were excited to sit on Shelli and Irv’s patio. Pink lemonade and a delicious dinner, though neither of them would even so much as take a bit of your salad.
They ran around some more while you sipped wine, Jeff and Harry had been talked into a two versus two soccer match and Irv laughed his head off when Maeve actually scored on Jeff. Darkness came and CeCe crawled into your lap, eyelids getting heavy until you buckled her into the backseat.
You’d taken one car, CeCe’s booster seat was too clunky to move over to Harry’s so you drove and felt slightly embarrassed about the crayons and coloring books scattered on the floor of the backseat.
“Mom, can I have another sleepover this weekend?”
“With who?”
“All of the girls from last weekend.”
“Honey, no, that was a big party for your birthday.”
“I’m aware,” she shot back quickly. “But we all had so much fun and we wouldn’t be as loud as we were last time.”
“I said no, Maeve. You can do something with your friends if you want but we’re not doing another sleepover right now.”
You’d been hesitant about it in the first place. A group of ten and eleven-year-olds? With Harry in the house? It felt like a recipe for disaster and aside from a few excited stares when they were first dropped off, you all escaped relatively unscathed.
You worried at first about the whispers from other moms--she’s letting a twenty-four year-old live with her children?--but you soon realized that they were almost more excited about sneaking a glimpse of Harry than their daughters were.
“You’re so annoying,” she quipped from the back. “You never let me do anything fun.”
Harry’s lips twitched up in a tiny smirk, a sideways glance in your direction. You’d already told him how awkward it felt to discipline them with him right there, a glass of wine in the kitchen one night and he teased you about your frustrated mom voice.
“Maeve--don’t be rude. You just had a birthday party and now you want another, basically.”
“No, I want to have the same girls over. It’s not my birthday so it’s not a birthday party.”
A left turn into the driveway. “But you want me to order pizza and make cupcakes and you want to drink a bunch of soda again?”
“Yes.”
You pulled into the garage and cut the engine, turning to look at her. “Maeve, sweetie, I love you. But no.”
She let out a huff and shoved the door open, she typed in the entry code and slammed the door to the house before the rest of you could even climb out.
“The drama,” CeCe shook her head, tired steps towards the house.
“The drama is right,” you told her with a laugh. “Go wash up and I’ll come up in a few, okay?”
She scampered up the steps, you dropped your keys on the counter inside and then turned to look at him. “Do you have a second?”
He nodded, leaned on the counter. “What’s up?”
You didn't know if it was a good idea, but you'd spent enough morning drives to school lecturing about how honest is the best policy, so you figured you'd give it a shot.
“Uh, well--Jeff may or may not be suspicious about you and...me.”
Using the phrase made you nervous, like he’d laugh and think it was stupid. You and me.
“Oh,” he said, eyebrows arched. “Did you--why did that come up?”
“Well you went to handle my crying child, which is--you know--”
He laughed a little, “too boyfriendy of me?”
Your heartbeat picked up in pace, your face felt hot and it suddenly felt like he was watching you too closely.
“No--I don’t know--you touched my back and he just asked what was happening.”
He deflated at that, hung his head low for a second and then looked up. “Oh, I--uh--I’m really sorry, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“No!” You felt bad, that wasn’t the message you were trying to convey. If anything, you wanted to give him the out and the okay that he didn’t have to do this. He didn’t have to step into your family like some hero for you or your daughters. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I just--I don’t know where you are at, I guess.”
“And now Jeff is asking questions,” he laughed, a nod like he knew where you were going with it.
There was no label necessary. It wasn’t that type of thing, you knew that. “That’s what you walked in on after CeCe got hurt.”
Another nod, like the puzzle pieces were fitting into place. “Right. Got it. Was he--how did he seem? Did you tell him that we--”
“He put it together,” you cut him off, again careful of the words used around the girls even though they were upstairs and--by the sound of it--bickering in the bathroom. “But he was fine with it. I just think we need to be careful, you know. The girls...and this is temporary, and--”
“Absolutely.”
“So, you know, just--”
“Yeah.”
An awkward silence. “I should go tuck them in.” You turned on your feet and headed for the stairs before he could reply, desperate to get out of the situation out of fear of having to find more words to string together in a messy jumble of emotions.
Another slammed door from Maeve when you reached the top of the stairs. You knocked twice. “Can I come in, please?”
“No!”
“Maeve,” you leaned against the doorframe. Harry came up and offered an awkward smile. “Please let me talk to you.”
“I’m not talking to you!” She shouted.
Harry came over and knocked. “Maeve? It’s Harry--can I come in?”
Silence for a second, her footsteps were audible on the wood floor. The door opened a crack, she peered out with narrowed eyes. “Fine--but not her.”
You looked over at Harry, unsure of his game plan but also fed up with the theatrics and the overreaction. He shrugged his shoulders half-apologetically, a smirk in your direction before he slipped into the room.
Did you stay and listen? Was it weird? What would he even say to her?
You decided against it, headed for your own bedroom and tugged on pajamas after you flicked on CeCe’s night light and kissed her goodnight. At least only one of them was being dramatic today.
Five minutes passed, then ten. You tried not to look at the clock and focused instead on a book Zoey had told you was a must read.
Eventually there was a knock on your door, Harry pushed it open and smiled. “Do you want some intel?”
“Duh,” you said. “Come in.”
He walked forward and sat on your bed, a sigh when he brought his eyes to yours again. “Well, she said you’re annoying again.”
“Of course.”
“She’s just grumpy. Said Hayley wanted to have a sleepover this weekend because it would be better at her house.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “Some 5th grade rivalry.”
“Classic, really.”
You laughed. “Was she okay talking to you?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, eyebrows low on his forehead. “Opened right up.”
“Well, we do know she likes you more.”
He rolled his eyes. “She just likes that I’m not you.”
“Feels like that’s the same thing.”
Quiet for a moment when he angled towards you, scanned your face with his eyes.
“I guess I’ll go say goodnight.”
“Oh, I tucked her in.”
Your mouth tugged into a smirk. “You what?”
“She said she didn’t want you to come in.”
“So you tucked her in?”
He let out a laugh, explained the process like it should have been obvious. “Yeah--pulled up the blanket. Patted her on the head. She said she brushed her teeth.”
You leaned back against the headboard, the same buzzing feeling in your chest took flight when he asked: “why is it so shocking to everyone that I’m good with them?”
It slipped out before you could think of the possible consequences. “Because you’re young.”
“I’m not that young.”
“And Luke was just--not like that. He was pretty disinterested after CeCe was born.” You hoped this was enough of a redirection.
“You’re really caught up on my age, aren’t you?”
“No.”
He raised his eyebrows and offered a look that said: bullshit. When he didn’t speak, you cracked a joke.
“Or...you are not hung up enough on how old I am.”
“Why should I care how old you are?”
“Cause you’ve had sex with me and you’re living in my house.”
“Both of those things I am aware of. And feel really good about both of them.”
You let out a laugh at his nonchalance, folded your arms over your chest when he stood up. “You’re something else.”
“I’m not,” you disagreed.
“I think you are,” he nodded, leaned closer to you and offered a challenging glare. His hair was messy, he’d been running around in the backyard with them at Shelli and Irv’s, a few glasses of wine in him seemed to loosen him right up to the point that he was ready to slide tackle your six-year-old.
He watched you for a second, almost like he was waiting for you to stop him. You didn’t, though, you wanted him to kiss you just as much as it looked like he wanted to close to the distance between your chests.
Instead of telling him you shouldn’t, instead of telling him that the girls were down the hall and this was risky, you pulled him on top of you, tugged him by the t-shirt until he flopped down on your bed with a laugh against your lips.
He lifted himself up after a clumsy moment, looked down at you and smirked.
“What?” You asked playfully.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever been so turned on by someone in my whole life.”
His words circled around you, pulled your body up to melt into his when his hand cupped your face. He laced his fingers through the hair along your neck, the warmth from his body made your pulse rise with each second.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this when they’re home?”
If the dimples on his cheeks weren’t enough, if the way his tattoos littered his skin wasn’t enough, if the look in his eyes right now on top of you was not enough to create a full-on mom fantasy in your head, the way he talked about your daughters was.
“Yeah,” you tugged him back against your mouth, felt the way your hips tilted against his without any thought. His hands moved to your wrists, holding them in place when he trailed his lips down your jaw, down your neck, pressing kisses in a line along your collarbone.
His hands were warm when they grazed your hips, connecting with skin beneath the fabric of your shirt. You grasped for the hem of his and tugged it over his head in a quick motion, eager to reconnect and feel his skin against yours.
He tasted like wine and smelled like summer, yanked your panties down to your ankles and used his fingers to pull quiet gasps from you like no one had ever before. He held onto your headboard and thrusted into you after you begged: please, please fuck me.
S’probably my favorite thing to do, he said.
The lights were long off and when your heart beats settled and you wiped sweat from your forehead, he laced his fingers between yours.
“Does Jeff want to kill me?”
“No,” you giggled, turned on your side to get a better look at him. The moon through the window illuminated his nose, his eyebrows, the specks of light green in his eyes as they devoured you. “But I’m sure you’ll get a talking to.”
“Should I not talk to him about it?”
You knew what he was asking, you knew he really meant what am I supposed to tell him? What does this mean?
You didn’t have an answer. You didn’t know what he should say or how you should address any of this, because at the end of the day you were a mom and a business owner and he was eight years your junior. He had an album to finish and tour and you knew how that worked.
You watched your dad’s busy lifestyle pull his marriage apart at the seams. Late nights, dinner parties, too much coke in the 80s before you were born and all of those signs pointed in one direction: this would never last.
It couldn’t last, nothing about the equation made sense. Harry + you = fling, rebound, a hook up or friends with benefits type situation that would eventually fade into a memory when he went on tour or when he got the call: your house is finished!
You didn’t have to answer him, though, the pattering of feet in the hallway as a little voice shouted mommy! had you shoving Harry out of bed and onto the floor with a thud before CeCe could push the double doors open.
“Mommy! I had a bad dream!”
“Hi, honey, oh, it’s okay,” you were upright in bed and welcoming her into your arms when Harry grimaced in the dark.
He mouthed a few swear words as you held CeCe, squishing her face into your shoulder to keep her eyes from landing on Harry. You gestured at him wildly with your free hand, ordering him to duck down and remain unseen.
“It was just a dream,” you told her, “you’re okay. Do you want me to walk you back to bed?”
“No,” she cried out quickly. “Can I sleep here?”
You hesitated, then nodded and looked at Harry in the dark. “Of course, yes, you can fall asleep here and then I’ll bring you back to your room.”
“Okay,” she said, the steadiness of her voice returning when she crawled out of your lap and to the spot where Harry had just been. She tugged at the comforters, pushed the pillow in different directions before she let her head rest atop it.
She let out a sigh, her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks and soon enough Harry poked his head up to look at you with wide eyes as you rubbed CeCe’s back.
You held up a finger to your mouth, gave him a threatening glare when he bit back a laugh. You rolled your eyes--it wasn’t funny. She almost walked in on the two of you and while she’d already endured some traumatic things this year, seeing her mom hooking up with the pop star from down the hall would be sure to take the cake.
When Harry caught your gaze again, you smirked, he giggled, clamped a hand over his mouth and watched you for a second.
“Be quiet!”
“You’re the one talking,” he laughed.
“Well she’s asleep now, but we can’t bring her back yet or she’ll wake up.”
“How long do we have to sit like this?”
“A while,” you told him with certainty. “This is called parenting.”
But he did, he sat on the floor on the side of the bed, watched you watch her and eventually, he picked her up from the mattress and followed you down the hall to her room. She softened into him, head on his shoulder and arms around his neck. The sight of it made you want to replay the earlier scene in your head over and over.
She didn’t stir, a few heavy sighs when you pulled the comforter back up to her shoulders, and once the door was shut behind you both, you smirked up at him.
“I think you should go back to your room.”
“Really? After all of that?”
“After almost getting caught by my six-year-old? Yes.”
He laughed and rolled his eyes playfully, crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine, but maybe we can do that again at some point and have it end differently.”
You nodded. “I think that sounds doable.”
He leaned forward, kissed you quickly, and then turned to head for his own room. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Harry.”
**
Harry came home from his house tour with good and bad news. The plumbing was fixed, which sped up their timeline, and yet the painters and interior decorator had gotten behind because of it, pushing the timeline out a few weeks.
You weren’t sure which part was good and which part was bad, because by now you were having trouble imagining what your house would feel like without him in it.
You got the news when he strolled in, athletic shorts and a baseball hat on his head when Jeff clapped him on the back. “Fancy seeing you here.”
Harry eyed him suspiciously, reached into the fridge for a juice box. “I live here…”
“Oh, I know you live here.”
“Hello, hi,” you waved at Jeff. “Please do not be weird.”
“That’s all he knows how to be,” Harry offered you a fake-apologetic look.
“That’s all he knows how to be,” Jeff mocked him. “Actually, I know how to be cool and not weird about the fact that my childhood best friend and my adult best friend-slash-artist are now, you know, involved.”
Your stomach did a somersault at his wording, a quick look in Harry’s direction, sure that he would deny the accusation or play it all down.
You found it hard to believe that Harry would be in support of labeling this as anything. Why on earth would a guy like him want to be tied to you with any sort of label or phrasing or word?
“Moving on,” Harry said with a nod. “Are we down to meet up with Tom and Sam tomorrow?”
“Yeah, and we have to do that phone call on Tuesday to go over tour dates.”
Maeve ran in then, a smile on her face when she looked up at Harry. “I have something to tell you.”
“Yeah?”
“I learned a new chord on the guitar. By myself.”
“You did?” He acted way more excited about it than he likely was.
Jeff smiled and then told Maeve: “If you learn enough chords maybe you can be his guitarist.”
“Really?!” She beamed.
“No,” you shook your head.
“Of course you would say that.”
“Maeve--you’re a kid, you can’t go on tour.”
“She’s right,” Harry said with a sweet smile, “You’re a bit too young for life on the road.”
“I’m eleven now, though!”
“I know! And very mature for eleven,” he complimented. “I’ll tell you what. You can for sure come visit and come back stage and maybe even bring a friend if your mother lets you.”
She looked to you quickly, excitement in her eyes when they all waited for your response. “Yeah--we can go at some point...see a show or something.”
“Hayley is going to die, oh my god!” She squealed with delight and then moved to sit at a stool beside Jeff.
He had half a sandwich on a plate, one he picked up on his way over for a boring Sunday afternoon of lounging by the pool. Maeve reached for a chip from the bag in front of him.
“By the way, mom, she invited me over Wednesday after school to work on a project, so can you bring me?”
“I have to bring CeCe to dance, sweetie.”
“Well I need you to bring me to the store to get supplies for this stupid poster-board thing we have to make! And Hayley’s mom said she had a question about Luna--something about a moisturizer or something.”
“I can take CeCe to dance,” Harry shrugged, almost like an onlooker in the room. “S’not a big a deal.”
“Are you sure?”
Jeff and Maeve crunched on chips between you, watching the exchange.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll just need to put her booster seat in my car.”
“And bring her a snack for after--she’s always cranky and hungry.”
He laughed, “I can manage that.”
“What would we do without you, Harry?” Maeve asked, a smile on her face.
Jeff put his chin in his hands, teasing. “Yeah, what would we do without you?”
“No one would get anywhere, people would seriously be missing out on my chicken tacos, and this house would be a lot less fun to live in.”
Maeve nodded in agreement, another chip stolen from Jeff. “True, true, and true.”
A few nights later it dawned on you that Maeve and Harry were as close as ever, spending evenings in your dad’s old office while Maeve tried to wrap her arms around a guitar long enough to strum a few chords.
CeCe didn’t seem to feel too left out, she was more than happy to be an audience for Maeve when she’d come running into the living room: Harry taught me a G chord!
On Tuesday night after school it was CeCe’s idea to go for pizza, she chirped about it in the backseat the entire way home, and after learning that the body wash production was behind schedule, you weren’t in the mood to cook.
You took Harry’s car--showed him how to strap the booster seat in and make sure it wouldn’t budge. He wore a hat and sunglasses which both girls found hilarious, but to you it was almost disheartening. What did it mean for him to be seen out with your family?
He sat beside CeCe and cut her pizza into tiny bites so it would cool off, Maeve sipped Mountain Dew from a straw and filled you in on the latest with Hayley. This week was going well, though Hayley said something annoying in the cafeteria.
It felt normal, not weird for him to be sitting across from you, his feet against yours beneath the table and a smirk in your direction every once in a while.
Both Tristan and Zoey had been dying to hear more details. It slipped out one day in the office that okay...maybe it wasn’t just a one time thing, and now the group chat you had with them was blowing up every day.
They were excited for you, rooting for your comeback and rebound and eager for you to just admit that there was something there. But you weren’t able to do that, especially not when everything in your heart wanted to.
By the time you’d all finished eating, he dipped out the back to pull the car around front. You pointed at Maeve and told her to watch CeCe while you went up to the counter to pay for the pizza.
The woman behind the register smiled when you approached. Long acrylic nails, wrinkles at the corner of her eyes made it obvious that she could have been your mother.
“We had one large plain and one small with pepperoni,” you told her.
“Oh, you’re all set, sweetie, your boyfriend paid on his way out.”
Your head pulled back in surprise. “Oh--he’s--we’re not,”
She let out a laugh at your hesitance. “He was just as taken back when I told him he had a beautiful family--said they're not his, though."
You forced a laugh, if only to match the humor in her voice when you turned on your heels to head back to your booth. The thoughts started spinning when Maeve and CeCe climbed into the back of Harry’s car.
He smiled at you when you slid in, patted you on the thigh before he turned around to make sure both girls were settled--Maeve clicked CeCe’s buckle into place and then he put the car into gear.
Sleeping with Harry was mostly meaningless, right? He was attractive and living in your house and clearly you both got something out of it. Convenient, easy, fun. Most of your brain had you convinced that there’d never be any more to it. There was no way that Harry would be interested in sticking around: two kids, a business to run. You didn’t exactly come with no strings attached.
And he corrected the woman too--not my kids, not my family, not my wife, not my anything. Had she settled on the next step down when she called him your boyfriend, or had he offered the label to avoid an awkward encounter?
It felt immature, your heart beating with urgency as you thought about it the whole way home, beads of sweat along your hairline and not from the warm weather. He sensed it, eyed you from behind his sunglasses when he parked in the driveway. Maeve and CeCe raced to the backyard, leaving the two of you alone.
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah, all good,” you offered a small smile, the same response you gave to one of the girls if they caught you on a bad day.
He followed you inside, kept his eyes trained on you when you dropped your purse on the counter. “What?”
“You seem off.”
“I’m fine,” you lied again. What were you supposed to say? The woman behind the register at the pizza place is making me question the relationship we have and what it means?
You weren’t 17. You were 32. He was 24. All of these numbers swirled in your head when he took a few steps closer to you, eyes out the window quickly to make sure neither of the girls were watching you through the sliding doors.
He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, lips turned down when he looked over your face. “You can talk to me, you know.”
“I know,” you caught his wrist and held on for a second, like if you let go he’d disappear and take everything between the two of you with him. You closed your eyes, knew better but still said: “the woman behind the counter called you my boyfriend.”
He let out a laugh, unaware that your words were actually a confession. “She called you my wife, said the girls were cute. I told her I couldn’t take credit.”
“Yeah,” you forced another smile.
“Is that--are you, did that bother you?”
“No,” you shook your head. “I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m not,” he said, eyes still on you like he wasn’t quite sure where your head was at. He pressed a confusing kiss to your forehead but then said something about calling his sister. You checked work emails and night faded into morning like it always did, no matter how uncertain life was, you always had that.
The next afternoon you brought Maeve to Hayley’s, dropped her off with glue sticks and markers and a plethora of project supplies. A yoga class after that, had her home and with dinner on the stove by 6pm.
Eventually, CeCe burst through the door with a smile on her face. Her pink tutu was around her waist, her legs clad in light pink tights and her hair in a messy ponytail on top of her head. “I had the greatest time at ballet!”
You turned around in the kitchen, eager to hear about her day. “You did?”
“I did,” she nodded confidently. Harry came in the front door behind her, sunglasses on his face and CeCe’s unicorn backpack in hand. Maeve was sat at the counter with a pencil, growing angrier with fractions by the minute.
“Why’s that?”
“We danced to a fun song, and we played a fun game, and everyone loved Harry!”
Your eyebrows rose at that, eyes caught his when he lifted the sunglasses. “They did?”
“Moms, not the six-year-olds.”
This caught Maeve’s attention--she sounded almost disgusted. “Moms?”
“I guess ballet pick-up is typically a mom thing?”
You shrugged. “I mean--I don’t see a lot of dads there, so yeah.”
CeCe shimmied out of her tutu and then climbed up to a stool beside Maeve. Harry walked to hang her backpack on a hook by the backdoor, you questioned if it was even worth asking.
“Were they, like, hitting on you?”
“I mean, not really.”
“Not really?”
He walked over to the island and leaned on it, the dimple in his left cheek let you know he liked the hint of jealousy in your voice. “Maybe a little.”
Dinner simmered on the stove, evening sun brought a glow to the kitchen that made his eyes even more green than usual. When you didn’t reply he broke your gaze, let out a sigh and said: “I’m going to shower before dinner, yeah?”
“Sounds good,” you nodded quickly, embarrassed by the silliness of your question. Of course the moms were hitting on him, of course they were intrigued by his presence and of course they couldn’t help but say hi or even ask for a photo. It shouldn’t have surprised you in the slightest.
He was up the stairs and out of sight quickly, CeCe picked up an extra pencil of Maeve’s and started doodling on her agenda book. You pushed sautéed veggies around in a frying pan and pretended that all of this was normal.
“Hey mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you like Harry?”
You turned around quickly, Maeve’s eyes were inquisitive but not judgmental.
“Do I like Harry? Of course--he’s nice.”
“No, I mean do you like like Harry?”
CeCe didn’t seem too interested in your answer, she hummed to herself and kicked her feet back and forth. Maeve, though, waited patiently while you tried to piece together words that wouldn’t make the roof blow off of your house.
“Harry and I are friends, sweetie.”
“You’re not answering my question.”
You let out a forced laugh. “What is making you ask this?”
“You seemed jealous about the other moms.”
“I wasn’t jealous,” you defended. Were you really about to get into it with your eleven-year-old? Would you really defend yourself and make this the hill on which you'd die?
She watched you for a second, looked back down at the worksheet in front of her. “You seemed jealous.”
You were thankful for the fact that she wasn’t making any eye contact now. You let out a sigh and decided that not responding was your best option. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, had it been that obvious? Was she old enough to pick up on the undertones of your relationship?
You turned back to the stove, watched the vegetables sizzle in the pan as your mind started to cave in on itself. All of this was getting out of control, right? First the woman yesterday and the dizziness that overtook you when she said the word boyfriend. Now Maeve sitting at the counter with a curiosity in her that you couldn’t really blame her for.
The doorbell rang, CeCe’s head popped up in excitement. “Who is that?!”
“I don’t know,” you said. She hopped off her stool and took off the door as you followed behind her. You hadn’t planned on a visit from Jeff, maybe Tristan needed last minute approval on a product.
But when CeCe yanked the door open with both hands and an excited smile on her face, you didn’t expect to see Luke, hands in his pockets and eyebrows raised high.
“Daddy!”
“Hi sweetie,” he knelt down on one knee, wrapped his arms around her when Maeve made a noise of excitement before rushing over. She crashed into him, pushing her way into their hug.
“What are you doing here?” she asked excitedly.
“I wanted to visit, I was in the neighborhood,” he said with a shrug, eyes glancing up to you.
It was bullshit, he’d always been good at talking his way out of things or coming up with an explanation, smile sweet and words even sweeter. He backed away from them when they let go, stood back up and smiled at you, a quick nod in greeting.
“How’ve you been?”
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Surprises make everything better! -Brock Boeser
A/N: This is my favorite writing so far so I hope you like it as much as I do. I actually enjoy writing now so if anyone has any request let me know and I will try my best! Or if you wanna talk about/have questions about any of my writing let me know I would love to chat about it.
Side note: I’m really sorry, I have zero idea how to give credit to the creator of a GIF so if anyone knows how to do that and can help me figure it out that would be much appreciated? Thank ya <3
Summary: Brock canceled your original plans for the summer and you are really upset about it! To make you feel better he sends a surprise to you apartment.
Word count: 1552 words
“Hey bubs” you answered the FaceTime call coming in from your boyfriend. You were sitting on your bed with your laptop open besides you, scrolling through tiktok on your phone before Brock had called.
“Hey, what are you up to?” From the looks of it, Brock was currently in his car driving somewhere.
“I’m suppose to be in class right now but I can’t focus so it’s kinda just playing as background noise at the moment. Whata bout you? Where are you going?” Since your school work is online this semester you find it increasingly difficult to pay attention to your classes and often find yourself FaceTimeing Brock during them.
“Baby your suppose to be paying attention.” He chuckled giving you a look “Anyway, I’m on my way home from practice but I really missed you and wanted to hear your voice” he wasn’t always open about his feelings while you were away at school so hearing him say that made your heart ache a little.
“Awe, I miss you more Brocky. Only a couple more weeks till we get to see each other.” Since the Canucks didn’t find themselves in a playoff spot this season, Brock was going to be done with hockey around the same time your finals were starting.
“Actually baby I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” His expression changed from happy to serious. “I actually think I’m gonna head straight to Minnesota when the season ends. It’s way too complicated to figure out what I’m going to do with the dogs and I’m also really sick of all the traveling” you were really caught off guard by his words because just last week he was so excited to come and see you.
The original plan was that Brock was going to fly out to NYC, after his season ended, to finally see you and keep you company during finals week. And after, he was going to help you pack up your apartment and drive with you back to your family’s home in Connecticut. Then you would spend a month hanging out with all your friends and family, before flying back to Minnesota for the rest of the summer to do the same with his loved ones.
“Oh” was all you could manage. You were kinda hurt that he didn’t want to put in the extra effort to come and see you, after not being able to see each other in person for almost 4 months.
“I’m sorry bubs, it’s just a lot, but after your finals you can fly straight out to Minnesota, it’ll only be one extra week” now he was starting to irritate you.
“But I wanted us to have time to spend with my family because we always see yo-.... you know what never mind it’s all good” you were trying your best not to sound bitter and to see his side of things but you just couldn’t. “I actually have to go this class is important and I should probably be paying attention, I’ll call you later.”
“Y/n please don’t go, we should talk about this.” Brock tried
“No it’s fine I’m not upset. I’ll talk to you later.” You tried to convince him.
“Alright, I love you please call me later.” He pleaded
“K bye.” And with that you hung up. It was actually the first time you hung up without saying you loved him back. You obviously still loved him but you were so upset with him, the words just couldn’t come out. Now you felt guilty about it, what if something happened and the last thing you said to him was ‘k bye’. Before you could get lost in your thoughts though, a text came through.
Brockstar 💫:
You didn’t say it back 😔
Y/n/n 🍑:
I love you
Brockstar 💫:
Do you mean it? 🤔
Y/n/n 🍑:
More than anything
Brockstar 💫:
Good cause same.
You were happy he noticed and wasn’t afraid to say something to you about it. It made you feel like your love was wanted and needed. But even with that, you were still very upset with him.
...
Y/n/n 🍑:
Have a safe flight buddy, I love you 💕
Brockstar 💫:
Call me buddy one more time...
Y/n/n 🍑:
Or what?... buddy
Brockstar 💫:
😐 you are impossible
Love you I’ll text you when I land... Good luck on your final today your gonna crush it I know you got big brains
Y/n/n 🍑:
Thanks buddy
Brockstar 💫:
Uggggg 🙄
Today Brock was flying back to Minnesota and you were starting you rigorous final schedule. Although you were still a little sad that he wasn’t coming to see you, you understood that he just wanted to get home after the season, so you were trying not to hold it against him too much.
You continued on with your day, continuing to prepare for your final that started at 1:00pm. You were definitely ready to get it over with. This one was the toughest of your finals and you were glad it was your first.
1:00pm came faster than expected and before you knew it your were starting your final. It was actually going a lot better than expected and you were on track to finish an hour early, not taking up the full 4 hours.
When you finally finished, you took a giant breathe of relief. You sat down on your couch and thought about what you wanted to eat for dinner that night, you had skipped lunch so you were starving.
You were soon pulled from your thoughts by a knocking on your apartment door. You went to look through the peep hole and saw a man walking away. You waited until he was most of the way down your hall to open the door and peek out. There was a beautiful edible arrangement sitting on the ground with a note attached.
You quickly picked it up and brought it into your apartment, closing the door behind you. You placed it on your kitchen island and took your phone out to take a picture before digging in. You grab the note first and read it out loud to yourself.
I’m sorry I’m the worst boyfriend on planet earth, so I hope this makes up for it or at least makes you feel a little better. I know it’s your favorite so if you don’t feel better, than I know I really messed up this time.
Hopefully still the love of your life,
Brock
Y/n/n 🍑:
You will obviously always be the love of my life no matter what you do.... thanks babe it actually did make me feel better
Brockstar 💫:
Shit it came already? I didn’t want it to get there till after your final! I’m sorry if you were interrupted😬
Y/n/n 🍑:
I finished my final an hour early! It came at the perfect time.
Brockstar 💫:
Ok good 😅
Y/n/n 🍑:
Thanks bubs I love you 💕
Brockstar 💫:
Love you too
You started to pick at the basket but had to stop yourself so you wouldn’t over eat before dinner. While trying to figure out what you were in the mood for you heard another knock at your door.
You rolled your eyes because this was the second time you were interrupted while trying to figure out what you were going to eat for dinner. Before you got to the door the person knocked again so you forewent looking out the peephole and just swung the door opened, slightly agitated but the impatience of whoever was at your door.
When the door fully opened you were met with Brock standing in front of you with all his luggage and holding your favorite flowers.
“Hi!” He smiled as the words left his mouth. You automatically started sobbing because you were so happy to see him. You put your arms around his neck locking him into a hug, accidentally smushing the flowers a little in the process.
“What are you doing here?” You cried into his neck.
“You didn’t actually think I would fuck up our entire summer plans did you?” He chuckled as he placed the flowers on top of his suit case so he could properly hug you back.
“Uggggg why would you do that to me? I was so sad.” You said still gripping him as hard as you could, afraid to let go.
“I’m sorry baby, I thought a surprise would be more fun.” You giggled into his neck.
“Yeah so much fun” you said sarcastically “I’m just glad you’re here.” You said pulling away to give him a kiss.
“Me too” after pecking his lips another time, you helped him bring his bags inside. You didn’t have plans for the night but you were starving so he suggested getting takeout and bringing it back to the apartment.
You agreed because you were drained from your exam and weren’t in the mood to dress up and go out. You also wanted to spend as much time in Brocks arms as humanly possible and being in the privacy of your apartment would allow for that.
You spent the rest of your night between the sheets making up for the 4 months you lost. You still couldn’t believe that he was actually with you in your apartment but you cherished every moment of it.
#brock boeser#brock boeser fic#brock boeser x reader#vancouver canucks imagine#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl players#brock boeser imagine
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impress you (a) (s)
dancer! reader, dance teacher! yuta, hard dom yuta, sub reader (fem), degration, choking (kind of), exhibitionism? (they fuck in a dance studio) humiliation, minor spanking, mentions of edging, short aftercare
self indulgent. i love dancing and want to be apart of a group asap lol. maybe that’s sharing too much,,,,, anyways enjoy!
you took dance very seriously. it was an escape for you. you loved the way it felt after you’d spent so much time learning the moves and it finally paying off. you liked seeing how good you were, rewatching videos people had taken of you or watching yourself in the mirrors as you performed. you were pretty confident about your skills to say the least.
that was until the studio hired a new teacher. yuta nakamoto wore your confidence down. you had always been able to impress your teachers, but he never seemed happy with you. if you glanced in the wrong direction he’d tell you to be more focused. even if you enthralled yourself in a dance he’d tell you to be more passionate. he wasn’t like that to anyone else and that got on your nerves
you had started practicing at 7am, it was now 11 am. you weren’t satisfied with how it looked. you knew there needed to be absolutely no flaws in order to impress yuta.
“we should run it again” you suggest. your group members groaned.
your group leader sighed. “y/n i know how much this means to you but you need a break. we all do. even if it’s for 5 minutes will you come sit down with us?”
how could you take a break when it wasn’t perfect yet? you were focused now and you knew taking a break would shatter your determined state.
“you guys take a break. i’ll be fine.”
“but y/n-“
“i’ll be fine.” you said, walking over to the sound booth to restart the song.
you stared yourself down in the mirror, analyzing every single move. your love for dance was soon buried by your determination to please him. you’d practice at ungodly hours of the night to make sure you knew what you were doing.
whenever you went to your group members to complain about him, they always said the same thing.
“hes hard on you because he knows your good”
were you? you know you definitely used to be, but with yuta’s unrealistic expectations of you, you thought of yourself as just okay. an average dancer. that’s not what you wanted to be, but you accepted that you were.
the next day, the groups performed in front of each other. when it was your turn to perform, you were ready. you stood in your spot, waiting for the music to start playing. you felt yourself move fluidly, feeling the music in your bones. the beats bounced around your skull, you felt like a part of the song. you’d surely impress him this time. for once in a long time you felt good, your energy filling you with confidence. you felt like the best. you made eye contact with him and smirked, remembering all the times he grilled you about facial expressions. you had this in the bag.
the music stopped, you nailed your ending pose, looking at him again. the other dancers in the studio cheered for your group. you bowed politely and moved to the side, making room for the next group.
“okay. time for critiques. will the first group come to the middle of the room”
you weren’t nervous like you’d usually be. you knew you did good. you were ready to experience the feeling of impressing him, rewarding you for your hard work. you really did work hard. you took this more seriously then any other dance you’ve done with this group.
after complimenting your group members on their flow and energy, yuta turned to you.
“y/n, you need to work on your form. it was a little sloppy.”
sloppy?! you wanted to talk to him privately. how could he say that about you? you were doing so good you were sure of it. you really felt connected to the music. you knew for a fact your form was not sloppy.
after it was done, you went up to him. he was in a corner of the room, swiping at something on his phone.
“you never seem happy with me.”
he looked up from his phone.
“what?”
“every time i dance you always find something wrong with it. even if i do really good you never compliment anything. why?”
“because you’re not doing your best.”
you mouth hung open. what was he talking about? you have absolutely been doing your best. you were at the top of your game this week. you even reminded your partners of the moves you knew them so well. you had put all of your emotion into this performance and he still thought it wasn’t good enough.
“what do you mean? that was one of my better performances.”
“it was a good performance, but i know you can do better.”
do better? your all wasn’t enough for him. you wanted to punch him. that was your best. you knew it’d be hard to top it.
everyone had left the room, leaving you and yuta alone.
“your expectations are so fucking high. i know i came very close to being perfect this time. i worked my ass of. i put all of my free time into perfecting this and you have nothing good to say about it?”
you knew swearing unprofessional, and it wasn’t going to help anything. but you didn’t care. you were so pissed.
“y/n.”
“all i wanted to do was impress you. i did my absolute best. it feels like nothing i do is ever good enough for you.”
he ran his fingers through his hair. “god will you just shut up.”
“excuse me?”
you were taken aback. he did not just tell you to shut up. no fucking way. he moved closer to you, faces only inches apart.
“i said shut up.”
you could feel his breath fanning your face. he was really really hot. what. you thought to yourself. what the fuck is going on.
“holy shit” you whispered.
he smirked. “what”
you stared at his lips. they were really nice. you wanted to kiss him. what has gotten into you? you gulped. his finger went to trace your throat.
“got nothing to say now, huh baby?”
he called you baby. holy shit. it sounded so hot coming from him. you wanted him to say it again. you just looked at him, his eyes were dark with something unknown.
you kiss him experimentally, your lips molding together. his hand wraps around your throat. you squeak, loving how it feels.
he bites your bottom lip, making you whine. he pulls away.
“needy already?” he scoffed.
he brought his hands to your hips, pulling you closer.
“you know, i hate dealing with needy sluts.” he licked his lips. “but i’ll make an exception this time.”
he pushed his lips against yours. this kiss was rougher. you squeezed your thoughts together. just kissing him was making you feel good, you wondered what else he would do. you hoped he wouldn’t leave you high and dry.
“take this off.” he said against your lips. he tugged on your shirt. you took it off quickly, returning to his lips. he smirked
“eager aren’t we? you want me that bad?”
you nodded. you really needed him. you didn’t care how you just wanted him to touch you.
“say it.”
“i want you yuta.”
“take your pants off.”
you pushed your sweats down aggressively tossing them away from you
he rubbed you through your panties. you immediately ground down on his hand, moaning at the feeling. he hummed and focused on your clothed clit, rubbing hard.
he leaned you over the sound booth, tearing your panties down. he fingered you for what felt like 4 seconds before taking his cock out of his underwear. he rubbed the tip up and down your slit, chuckling when you begged for more.
“does it feel good?” he asks
you nod.
“then why would you want anything more?” he teased “what if i only do this. could you cum from it?”
you shake your head “no yuta please give me more!” you push yourself backward against his cock.
he tsked. “now baby you need to be patient. i’ll fuck you when i want to.”
you whined and pushed back more. he slapped your ass before rubbing the pain away.
“what did i say?”
he laced his fingers in your hair and pulled your head up.
“repeat what i said.”
you moaned. “be patient and you’ll fuck me when you want to.”
“if you knew what i said why did you disobey? you’re such a needy bitch.”
you moaned again. you loved it when he degraded you. you never thought you’d be into something like that. it made you feel so good.
suddenly he pushed into you. you gasped. he was larger than you were used to.
“fuck you’re so big!”
he smirked and slapped your ass.
“i know. can you take it?”
you knew he wasn’t really asking. your walls swallowed him up. he thrusted into you slowly.
“how does it feel? you like it when i fuck you like this, where anyone could walk in?”
“yes i love it! please fuck me harder!”
“mm what would your group members think if they walked in on this? seeing you so needy and taking my cock. you’re just a horny little slut aren’t you”
you moan and nod. he fucked you faster. you felt so pliable in his hands, his words making you impossibly wetter.
“you’re so lucky we aren’t at my place. i’d edge you so much for being an annoying little brat.”
he pounded into you chasing his release.
“rub your clit.” he ordered
you complied and moaned as soon as your fingers make contact with your clit, back arching. he grabbed your hips, nails leaving indents in your skin.
“fuck yuta.” you whined. you were close. “please don’t stop.”
he chuckled and pulled your head up by your hair. his lips latching onto your neck. he bit and sucked marks onto you, the feeling making you that much closer.
“i’m close!”
he hummed against you neck. “you gonna cum for me? show me how good my cock feels in your slutty pussy?”
you whined. “please please please don’t stop!”
“wasn’t planning on it baby.”
there it was again. baby. the name rang through your ears. it made you feel warm. you wanted him to call you that all the time. it was the last thing you needed to cum.
“fuck!”
you came on his cock. he thrusted into you faster before pulling out and releasing on your back. you both panted, catching your breaths.
“holy shit.” he said. “that was so hot baby”
he took off his shirt and used to to clean your back. he pulled you up and help you in his arms.
“you did really well.”
you flushed at his words, nuzzling into his chest.
“thank you.”
he rubbed your back for a little while before getting your clothes and handing them to you.
“we should do this again.” he suggests.
you nod furiously. “yes please.”
he chuckled. “oh, and i’ll try to go easier on you.”
with that he put on his hoodie and left, leaving you alone to put on your clothes. you felt some sort of satisfaction. you had pleased him. not in the way you were expecting, but it felt just as good.
#this was fun to write#i hope you liked it!#yuta#yuta smut#nct scenarios#nct 127#nct smut#nct 127 smut#nct angst#nct yuta#yuta x reader
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