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caralara · 2 years

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Why I believe Xarry was supposed to be a stunt - and why it didn’t work out

(or: Harry’s Planned “Bisexual Coming Out” has everything to do with Babygate)

First off - this is my personal take on the matter. A lot of it is speculation. I try to give sources as much as I can. But a lot of it is just what makes sense to me. So yeah, I am not claiming this is actually what and how it happened (especially not the parts where I illustrate what I imagine they might have said, thought or felt!), I am just saying that I think this is what happened. This is gonna be long. Very long. Because I go into detail, and I venture into neighbouring territories of this subject. If you don’t have the patience for that, or want it simplified in bite sizes, here’s a Twitter thread I made months ago.

The subject itself is complex, so this post is as well. Get some snacks, some tea and/or wine, and if you’re up for it - lets get started.

Now, you ask - why a stunt though? Why can they not just be friends? We have to look at the bigger picture for this question, and also at how they appeared in the media - compared to female stunts. Please refer to these Hendall and Hamille and Holivia timelines to compare to stunt patterns. It’s pretty self explanatory, but rough oversight and commonalities between them: usually the stunt starts out on social media, following each other, being tagged together, liking posts etc, followed by sighting in a friendship group / dinner. Pap walks. Articles about being close, hanging out. Dates with “Organic Fan Sightings” in super popular spots. Wearing each other’s clothes and jewelry. Social Media engagement with friends and families. Deny deny deny when asked in interviews, dodge questions like there’s no tomorrow. Being spotted at shows by fans. Etc. Mix up at own will. You know the drill. Keep this in mind while walking through the Xarry Timeline with me.

The Friendship between Jeff and Harry

I believe that after Jeff successfully inserted himself into Harry’s close friendship circle, probably on orders from his music mogul of a father, Irving Azoff, he started to prepare everything he needed to in order to secure Harry as a solo artist and management client for the Azoffs, as it had been very clear to the trained eye that Harry held the most promises to be a global superstar after the band would break up - and everyone with an ounce of experience knew they were burning through that life force the five boys held like there was no tomorrow, trying to squeeze out all and any profit as quickly and as hard as they could while it was still possible - as they do with big famous boybands. They don’t believe you will stick around and be popular for long, but for the time being - boy oh boy, will they milk you (and the fans’ wallets).

Irving Azoff

Sounds far fetched? Unfortunately, it isn’t. The music industry is run on money, just like any other entertainment industry, and people with a lot of money usually want more. Irving Azoff is one of the most powerful people in the music industry, with decades of experience and loads of connections to almost anyone important. Here, have a quote: “In 2012, Azoff topped Billboard Magazine's Power 100, being named the most powerful person in the music industry. There were monopolization claims made against his Performance Rights Group” Doesn’t that make you go “huh?” - just to clarify. HE, Irving Azoff, who became chief executive officer of Ticketmaster in 2008, because he already was of Front Line, and has a venture with MSG Company (venue company), who founded two labels and has many more investments in many more companies in the entertainment and hospitality industry, created a performance rights organization which then had those monopolization claims brought against them in 2018, which only had been settled now in 2022. Nothing like being two steps ahead and becoming not only the boss but also the boss of the rights organization that is supposed to protect you from your very boss, isn't there? Clever and terrifying if you ask me.

Harry’s Seeding of his Solo Career

Now, back to Harry. How does someone, who can see how tightly “protected” a young boybander is by the people who all want a piece of him (and the money he makes them), and also by the people who actually fiercely care about him and just went through learning what the music industry is all about themselves, make Harry choose them to be his guide, his manager, his new trusted industry person? You get him where you know personal life and professional life blur. And what better way to gain his trust than to send your son, who was only in his late twenties at the time. A more or less young man with just enough “experience” - definitely more than Harry - to act as an older brother / friend, who can sympathize (“look - I know how it is, I hardly had a choice being in this industry world either! My dad always dragged me along, ugh, so I get it. But now I can show you how to enjoy it too, and all the tipps and tricks that you need to survive in this world!”).

So, here comes Jeff, latest in August of 2013 already, comfortable in this world that is hurting Harry a lot, but that also looks incredibly enticing to him, all the glamor, all the luxury, and offers a guiding hand (and is probably very charming and very tuned into wanting to gain Harry’s deep trust in the long run while doing so!). He’s fun, he shows Harry the world of Hollywood, maybe gives him a reprieve from management constantly breathing down his neck, and offers him an outsider’s perspective - don’t forget how lonely Harry was at this point. Louis and Harry were practically forced onto different continents as often as possible, resulting in Harry having to be separate from the other boys, and heavy stunting took place for both of them, all to combat the ever so persistent Larry rumours that endangered stacks and stacks of money that was supposed to flow from those American wallets into the label’s. It was a really tough time, the beginning of them not being allowed to interact with each other at all publicly anymore and heavy, heavy stunting (Haylor? Elounor?).

And Jeff noticed. Of course he did - he knows how the music industry works, he knows of closeting (how could he not, working in management and with a father like that?), and he noticed what a toll this took on Harry. And there he had it. He discovered what Harry wanted. What Harry yearned for: being himself in public, being allowed to be out and proud. With Louis. So Jeff waited, and observed, and gathered information. And when Harry comes to a breaking point in 2014, Jeff speaks up.

“What if… you could be out?”

At this point, Harry trusts Jeff. He’s met his family, many times, he spends a lot of time with him and his friends, he’s found even more friends through him, like Harry Lambert! And Jeff knows what’s possible in the music industry. AND he’s young, he’s ambitious, he wants to strive for a better, freer world with him (right??).

The Plan

So, Jeff proposes a plan. If they renew their contract after their five records and five tours are done with is up in the air - they definitely want to renegotiate, if not leave them behind. But until then, they have to work with their current management, to keep the label happy. Jeff is gunning for that solo career of Harry’s. So what does Jeff propose? A compromise. Harry gets to come out as bisexual, completeley regardless of his actual sexuality, gets to be a bit more free to be himself in public, and maybe a step closer to coming out with Louis, but until then - the plan needs to make sure that Larry isn’t outed in the process. Because a boyband with one “sexually ambiguous” member can be sold as “sexy, chic, trendy, modern, cool” (not my words, but what I imagine the PR agency would package it as, and yes, I know this is biphobic, and no, I don’t agree with it, and no, it’s not MY view), but have two gay members in a band, and then together, gay for each other?? Apparently that would be the death for the money machine. So that is not possible at that time, in 2014.

But how do you do it? How do you have Harry come out as not hetero, without outing Larry, as they are irrevocably linked, it seems?

Easy, Jeff says. Harry gets publicly linked to a different man, ergo has a male PR stunt, and Louis has to appear Super Straight™ for the entirety of the coming out process. How do you “proof” a man has hetreosexual sex? You have him have a baby. That’s “failsafe” proof that he is Not Gay (as if gay men have not produced children in the past smh but you know how the GP is - everything has to be simple and filable into boxes!). So Louis, who of course watched how absolutely destructive it was for Harry to have to hide away the side of him that is so brilliant, so beautiful, so Harry, and had to instead watch him scratch off his nail polish, hide his affections, become a stoic mask in public just to not give away all the affection he has for Louis, says yes - yes to publicly having a fake baby, or at least publicly “impregnating” someone, so that Harry can breathe a little better. It is worth it. It won’t take too long. There will never actually be a baby. It’ll be worth it. Worth the while, even.

So 1D management, maybe reluctantly, agrees. And Jeff takes over the reins, coincidentally already acting like Harry’s manager at this point. He has a great friend in mind, who Harry would really like, who would be up for the PR stunt, who’s a good friend of Jeff’s, someone who could be trusted with this very delicate matter. So Jeff introduces Xander Ritz to Harry. And Harry gets excited, he can almost taste that little bit more of freedom, and is ready to make this believable.

Xarry - The Stunt

So, who actually is Xander Ritz? Xander used to be a (professional?) Lacrosse player from Pennsylvania and lives in NYC, who is now the cofounder of The Loyalist Company, together with his brother Maxwell. That company is part of the distribution process for Pleasing. His father is/was a popular dentist (maybe the connection to Jeff happened here). He has had a girlfriend of the name Jacquelyn Jablonski for a couple of years now, who has her own sportswear brand which Harry was seen wearing before.

Just like with Nick, Harry seemed to hit it off with the older man right away - seeing that Xander is 11 years older than Harry.

Xander’s and Harry’s first interaction known to us is typical: it’s on social media, and it’s cryptic and not straight up in your face - Emma Greenwell, a friend, posts a photo and tags Xander and Harry both, suggesting they’re both out with her for McDonald’s after the X-Factor performance in November 2014. Shortly after, in December, they started following each other on instagram.

In February 2015, Xander posts about birthdays and a photo of him with Harry in a group - all friendly and inconspicuous. It becomes clear they have been hanging out “privately”.

Then, the first pap walk - in June. The groundwork is done, it’s established Harry and Xander have some sort of friendship/relationship. While Louis goes out “partying”, getting papped every night and just exactly (on the date) a month prior had the infamous “1 Conception” pap photo taken with Briana, who just “accidentally” was in the background of that photo, holding up his end of this big project.

So it’s time for Harry to do his own version: he flies out to NYC for one day in the middle of the EU leg of OTRA tour to go out to dinner with a group of people, including Jeff. And who is “accidentally” captured in the background of these pap shots? Yes, Xander. Ever wonder why they used the only picture in which only Harry, Jeff and Xander were easily identifiable? And why he would jet to the other continent for one day? To then look at houses with Jeff (&Xander)?

Keeping to the time table seemed to be pretty important, the week prior, Tammi Clarke had planted the seed for “Louis was just told he was gonna be a dad” with her chimp instagram photo.

Height of Party-Womaniser!Louis image and the very beginning of BBG had to be used. No matter if tour was happening - if Xander & Jeff were available that day, it had to happen.

Maybe noteworthy? After this first pap walk, Sugar Baby Bear (SBB) makes its first appearance on stage next to Rainbow Bondage Bear (RBB) the next day at OTRA Brussels.

And then we get the heavy stunting week during their break between the EU and US leg of OTRA tour, the week leading up to the pregnancy announcement and Louis’ impending fatherhood on 14th of July.

They started off on 4th of July, Harry being spotted with Xander having lunch at a popular cafe, sitting in full view easily recognisable in the outside seating area. Keep the palm tree shirt in mind for part 2!

The same day he went and got papped at the Bootsy Bellow’s Annual Red, White & Bootsy party, conveniently in full view again leaning on the balcony, all cosied up with Xander. Several gossiping sites got “receipts” of Harry being solely focussed on “his company” during this party and having zero interest in anyone else, even girls approaching him, and articles that were published of this event all only showed him with Xander while simultaneously mentioning his love for girls (without mentioning him by name - yet. Sounds familiar? Yep, that’s how they introduced Briana into the picture as well. Just a bit more on the nose with “mystery blonde” - but that was a het relationship they tried to sell, not a coming out.) (also does that not look a lot like the person from Louis' We Made It music video??)

All throughout the week, we got many more “organic fan spottings” of them at popular food places, pap shots, just the two of them or with Jeff, as well as Xander being spotted at OTRA shows.

The articles that published the pap walk with Xander talked about Harry’s boots (?) to not make the mention of “close pal” too obvious - the larries really do know how to interpret and do detective work, so the team had no doubt that this would start the rumour mill the latest.

While the entire bbg drama unfolded - we got Harry, running with the rainbow pride flag for the very first time, in the midst of super heavy babygate stunting. He’s allowed to be more flamboyant and a little bit more ambiguous in interviews. “Don’t knock it till you try it” and “female? Not that important” all come to mind during this time. This seems pretty clear like a trade off. As long as Louis was seen as Super Straight ™ Harry was free to be a little bit more himself on stage.

Then we had Xander popping up at a show again in Minnesota at the end of July.

A week later, August 4th, Harry gets papped leaving Lottie’s birthday party - and who is the date that “tries to stay out of the photos” but accidentally is fully in it, keeping his distance yet you can easily identify him? Yep, Harry is leaving with Xander. The article we get pushes babygate, while showing Harry and Louis spending time outside of work for the first time in - how many years? And of course the photographer releases more photos, and we get to find Xander in them - management sees our little larrie-detective-hearts as satisfied, feeling like we found something out we weren’t supposed to find, AND it’s gay AND it’s NOT LOUIS. Because Louis is going to be a dad. HETERO. And Harry has an older LOVER. And they all get ALONG, together, partying Lottie’s birthday away. Harry and Louis AND XANDER. TOGETHERBUTPLATONICALLY. Happy now, larries???

The very next day, Harry acknowledges Xander during the concert, referencing Lacrosse while Xander is being spotted and photographed by fans. The fans that analyse every single move eat it up.

Xarry update accounts start appearing. People start speculating. In the meantime, every day if there is no activity from Louis / babygate, there’s activity from Xarry. Seems almost like they are splitting the days to not overcrowd them with stunt content. Then they give the fandom two weeks of quiet to cool down, in which we get the first articles about the Azoffs becoming Harry’s manager in the middle of the month, shortly after followed with The Sun’s breaking article that One Direction will go on Hiatus from March 2016 on.

On 27 August 2015 Harry posts not only a cake on his instagram on Xander’s birthday, but also a blurry photo of a person that looks a lot like Xander.

Harry and Xander are seen all day long spending his birthday together, to strolling the city to going backstage together at OTRA Cleveland to travelling to Chicago to going out together at the SoHo house. “Receipts” tell of Harry sharing a room with Xander, and the next morning, instagram posts let fans deduce they went to the Art Institute with Cal, solidifying the suspicion they spent the night together. They do another stunt week marathon, positioning themselves “backstage” in great view of the fans, flirting and intimate while watching the opening act of OTRA Detroit.

Then, Harry spends a long weekend at Xander’s family’s house in Pennsylvania - how do we know? He goes to food places close to campus, coincidentally very much the target group of his fans, and has loads of pics taken with fans and of him in “private”.

More dinner dates / pap walks / social media interactions / spottings at shows happen all throughout until the last week of September. As soon as Xarry calms down, bbg picks up again - Briana is seen at shows, articles come in again (I am not joking, it is seamless. The very next day after Xarry is active, Briana pops up.)

Right after the bombardment of Xarry and BBG, you guessed it - they allow the fandom to cool down for a week. Exactly a week later, 10 October, Harry reacts to a Xander sign on stage while Louis follows Danielle Campbell on instagram.

From 14th - 24th of October, BBG is heavily, heavily pushed. Louis gets asked about the baby in every interview, and Xarry is - unsurprisingly - quiet. We also have the infamous cancelled OTRA Belfast show, which probably had to do with management watning to push Harry/Louis and the stunts to a level they weren’t comfortable with, maybe something like an actual baby being born?? And being his? Maybe a blanko article that had been “accidentally” published that day - what, three months early? - stating Louis Tomlinson’s healthy baby[boy/girl] had been born could have something to do with them walking out and not performing. We will never know, though.

What happens the day after the BBG push ends? Let’s look at RBB&SBB. For the past 5 days, they had a countdown on their twitter, leading to the 25th October 2015 and a tweet: “Caution - Bears coming out of hibernation” many fans were excited - did that mean they would come out? Maybe this was half the truth. Maybe it was only one of them that was supposed to be coming out soon. It would make a lot of sense why they pushed babygate so so hard the week prior.

So, as soon as BBG ebbs, Xarry picks up again. End of October until the first week of November Harry & Xander follow each other’s friends and families, like their photos, making it look like they were getting serious, meeting friends and family, and Xander is spotted at the last two shows of OTRA tour. The grand finale: Xander allures on instagram to the idea of him being in London with Harry.

And then - nothing.

What happened? We can only speculate. But something that would make a lot of sense to me was this:

Zayn leaving.

Let me explain.

(TW: Suicide)

There are so many theories and rumors floating around why Zayn left, but in retrospect, especially with Liam and Harry recently painting us an image of just how hard and terrifying this time must have been for them, under how much pressure they stood and how badly their mental health suffered under it, we get a better idea how this could have affected Zayn, too. Liam said he would be dead by now if the band hadn’t gone on hiatus, that he was an alcoholic by the end, and suicidal. And I don’t think Zayn fared much better. He shared he had an eating disorder, and we know those can kill. Just like the others, he probably abused alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism, and looking at how he conducts himself today in the public eye, it is in my opinion a fair assessment that he is still recovering from deep trauma.

He apparently fainted after the San Siro WWA show, and because of the likes of Rebecca Ferguson and Katie Waissel we do know how severely Modest overworks their artists, from giving them adrenaline shots to using all sorts of psychological manipulation to get them to perform.

In my opinion, for Zayn it was a matter of survival. Caged like that, when you’re this sensitive, and forced to do something you don’t fully support - that kills. And the sheer exhaustion is detrimental to your psychological health. So when someone like Naughty Boy suddenly lures you with tales of freedom and making music exactly the way he liked, fuck the label, the way he did in November 2014, you suddenly can’t take it anymore. You got a taste of freedom, and if you don’t get it, you will die. (regardless of this being fact, it can certainly feel like that. And then - is there much of a difference?).

So Zayn gets worse. And Louis tries his hardest to make it better for him. All the boys do. They love each other, they’ve got each other’s backs, they all try to make things happen so that they can try and breathe a little easier. Remember, November 2014 is also back when they start seeding the Xarry stunt. It’s the time they wiped Briana’s social media presence clean, meaning they had already chosen her to be the "mum-to-be". The plans are set in motion for Harry’s bi coming out. And they all know they can’t handle more scandals than babygate and Harry coming out as bi, the brand One Direction can’t, or so the label might say. So they try to make it easier for Zayn, for his sake and for their sake. Just hold on a little longer, only finish this tour and then one more album and one last tour and we’re free. Maybe it became a mantra? We can do it. Only maybe another 1.5 years. You can do it. We can do it. We can get through this.

And Zayn seems to cling to it, he perks up under the shower of affection from the boys. Until - more pressure from the outside. The public lashes out, the “cheating scandal” between him and Lauren and Perrie (another PR stunt?) goes wild. Now he can’t anymore. They agree on him being allowed to go on a stress leave after he left a show early in March - they give him a week.

During this week, it seems, he gets the clarity he needs. He decides to leave One Direction. The day he is expected back, he quits.

And now, remember - BBG and Xarry preparations are already in full swing. But what are Zayn’s choices?

And can you blame Harry and Louis for being hurt about this? Can you blame Zayn for needing to leave? Can you blame Zayn for being hurt as well, and feeling guilty for walking away? Doesn’t it make so much sense if this situation truly was like that - Zayn’s happiness and survival for Harry’s and vice versa? (because if you think Harry wasn’t also on the brink of being suicidal, go back and rewatch the Adore You music video. Listen to the songs he wrote. To the ones Louis wrote “Could have been a bed in a box” is pretty dark (and yes, I have heard him sing these lyrics live with my very own ears) - and Don’t Let It Break Your Heart sounds a lot better than Please Don’t Kill Yourself). It’s not that they had a fight per se, it’s not that they didn’t love each other dearly, it’s not that they didn’t understand - they did, too well. It’s that outside forces made them choose - my life or yours. And that shit hurt. Both Harry and Louis. They both got scared that their plan wouldn’t be able to go through. That they themselves wouldn't make it. And they were partly right.

And it also kinda makes Louis’ statement make sense. He can’t speak to Zayn yet, something needs to change first, get resolved. Maybe he has to finish this chapter first, the one that was one of the reasons there was so much pain? End the babygate stunt, and then they can reconnect? Would make sense for him to be publicly liking Zayn’s You & I post recently, as it looks like babygate is probably ending in a little over a month from now.

And why else would Liam and Niall be pretty neutral on this, while you could see just how bitter Harry and Louis were about this?

Back to Xarry. So, Zayn left at the end of March 2015. They still went ahead with all the babygate and Xarry stunting, hoping they would make it to the coming out, planned for probably the end of that year (remember the RBB&SBB countdown).

The first rumors and articles about One Direction going on hiatus start circling at the beginning of June, when Briana is already confirmed to be “pregnant”, and then in late August, the hiatus is confirmed. I doubt that this was the plan ever since before Zayn left, but happened as a result of it. Zayn left, buying himself out of the contract and enduring a year long ban on releasing his own music (it might have been originally two years, maybe negotiations happened), point being - he showed you could actually break and bend the rules. At a price, but you can.

So, the decision was made, maybe with a push by the Azoff’s through Harry, to be brave, bend the rules themselves and go on hiatus (this is what they had been waiting and working for, after all).

It would make sense why they were so upset (even more so than you would be) about Modest pushing through the bbg stunt to an actual baby (what for?? we’re going on hiatus anyway next year!) in October with their Belfast gig cancelled.

Maybe the decision was made in November that yes, Harry would take on Jeff as his manager (my god how convenient! He’s already half acting as his manager, has the connections, has the experience, and most importantly, is Harry’s friend first and foremost - he’s looking out for Harry! He wants what is best for Harry, hasn’t he just helped to try and get Harry to come out as bi??) and contracts were signed. How convenient. Fullstop was set up first quarter of 2016. Truly convenient.

Because shortly after, on 15 November 2015, at the tail end of the (failed?) Xarry stunt, Xander goes and confounds The Loyalist with his brother Maxwell as well as some others, the description reading “End-to-end platform that allows brands, influencers and content creators to launch a fully-functioning merchandise business in just 15min. The Loyalist hosts, produces, ships and insures every product; Store Owners simply promote and collect proceeds.” which is awfully convenient for someone who has lots of connections to people who have merchandise to sell to their fans (ahem, Harry?)

In the following weeks, Louis goes ‘official’ with Danielle Campbell, and we don’t hear much about Xander at all anymore. He pops up every now and again over the years, but in mostly a “I have a girlfriend and I am supporting my famous friend Harry Styles” way. In 2016, “private” photos of Harry hanging out with Xander’s family and vice versa are “leaked”, and there was a fandom scandal of some fans apparantly trying to catfish Xander into admitting that Harry was gay, some dick pics might have been sent, all of it backfired, leading to Xander deleting his twitter account at the beginning of 2016, but more about these probably in part 2.

Hendall

So, instead, Hendall gets revived. What happened? Maybe now that Jeff was officially Harry’s manager, he properly advised about his solo career, with the help of his experienced father Irving, maybe at one of the family visits Harry did during November and December of 2015. And that maybe, maybe it would be the wisest to freeze the bi-coming out for a while until he’s an established solo artist - you never know how these things go! And Harry, don’t you want to become so so big and influential and well known that even when you have a coming out, no one will make you vanish? That people will still be interested? So that you can be a role model and a help and inspiration to so so many more people than just the measly few, you would have left if things go sideways now at the beginning of your solo career? You know, Jeff is only looking out for you, You know that. He’s your friend. Has been for years. And Xander being caught up in a fake (?) het dick pic scandal isn’t helping.

And maybe Harry reluctantly agrees. One Direction is over for now, pretty much, hardly three months left, and then he will be much freer than he was under modest, right. Right?

The stunts flow into each other seamlessly. From a Hendall burst beginning of 2015 to a year full of Xander back to yachting over new year’s with Kendall again. Kendall seems to be pulled out at any convenience, nothing serious, but the more sexy. It helps creating the image of a sexually ambiguous Harry who has many lovers of many genders (so that everybody, especially all of his fans have a chance with him iykwim). And Harry gets along with Kendall - maybe it’s the same just different, Kendall dealing with her closet. Does anybody want any CaKe?

Harry goes solo. And what are the first two songs Harry writes/releases?

Kiwi, that screams of rage and babygate, and Sign of the Times - they told me that the end is near. Which is awfully sorrowful, talking about how it's always the same, and that they always tell you soon.

And here you have it.

This is my take on Xarry, and to me, it makes a LOT of sense.

Now, I do believe they are gearing up for another bisexual coming out for Harry (maybe Harry insisting now that we’ve seen him distnace himself a lot more from Jeff since the pandemic hit), and I am curious to see how it will unfold, especially hand in hand with babygate probably ending pretty soon.

I might make another post going into more details about another coming out attempt soon, so stay tuned for a part 2!

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