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hisui-dreamer · 11 months

Text

never too late

Characters: Jade, Kalim, Idia, Malleus

Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?

Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions, bot proofread

Word count: 4.1k+

Notes: same as the last two, all the name ideas are in japanese. if it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine that reader is japanese

also wow classical music makes me so inspired i wrote so much

Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 4✧Masterlist

A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.

Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.

On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—

Miharu (翠晴) with 翠 meaning "green, emerald, jade" and 晴 meaning "clear, fine, serene"

your daughter has straight teal hair and slightly angular eyes that are a complete replica of her father's

the name you chose for her has a strong connection to jade, also representing the peacefulness you found in Jade's presence

she's a quiet child who always has this calm smile on her face

she's loves being independent and hates asking other people for help

there are some times when you have to hold her and tell her "hey, you can rely more on your mother you know?"

she doesn't look like she wants physical affection, but when she's accomplished something, you'll notice her staring at you in anticipation

when you reach your hand over to pat her head for a job well done, she smiles so contentedly and just melts at your affection

loves playing around with plants and fungi, and thankfully she's quite good at managing them, so sometimes you can save money on groceries

loves swimming in the ocean, but much prefers clinging onto you in the water

will turn to her eel form if in bodies of water for too long, so you're careful about what times or places have fewer people

incredibly intelligent and good at quick thinking, always curious to learn more about fungi, magic, etc.

seemingly calm when you told her about her intelligent and sly father, but soon after learning about him, she'll ask questions about him a lot and start practising magic more

and when she finally accomplishes teleporting you two to him, you're in a pantry that smells of fresh tea leaves, and he's looking as elegant and charming as ever as he pours water into the teapot, his hair is sleeked back and the grace exudes just puts you in a trance

Jade's eyes widen as he beheld a sight that only seemed possible in his wildest dreams. There, standing before him, was the person he had loved so deeply and had thought lost forever.

"My love... is it really you?" Jade whispers, his voice quivering with a mix of disbelief and hope. His heart thuds in his chest, the sound reverberating through his entire being.

Tears glisten in the corners of his eyes as he closes the distance between you, his steps quickening with a sense of urgency. He envelops you in a tight embrace, his arms holding you firmly, afraid you might disappear once more. "Oh my pearl, how I longed to turn back time and not have let you go, to have kept you here with me," he whispers hoarsely, his voice trembling with a mixture of joy and sadness.

Jade is showing more emotion than you've ever seen and you're both crying and holding each other tightly

eventually, floyd barges in to tell Jade azul's complaint about how long he's taken to make the long-forgotten tea

when floyd sees you, he immediately tries to come over and squeeze you

but Jade is having his moment so he lifts you and keeps you away from floyd's grasp

pouting, instead floyd diverts his attention to Miharu, who's just curiously staring at him

eventually eventually azul shows up to see why everyone has disappeared and he's incredibly surprised to see you two

he complains that Jade will be busy for a while then, but you can see his eyes are teary and there's a soft smile on his face

for quite some time, Jade is incredibly alert when it comes to you, always paying attention to your needs, your feelings, and if you get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break, he wakes up with you and waits outside the door until he can hold you again, and then he'll carry you back to bed

he didn't realise how important you had meant to him until you were gone, how lost and empty he felt, so best beware, he's never letting you go again

oh he's so cute with Miharu!!! building terrariums together and comparing notes and cooking mushroom meals together

father-daughter swimming sessions!!! sometimes floyd and azul join

definitely pranks azul as a trio, but azul can't get mad at her hahaha

you can tell Miharu is so enthusiastic about spending time with uncle floyd

Jade cries crocodile tears that his dearest daughter prefers his brother over him

and Miharu just tells him "well you belong to mommy, so i'll have uncle floyd"

the twin eels can't say they're unhappy with that arrangement, now can they

and don't forget mama and papa leech! they love spoiling Miharu with trinkets and treasures they find!

Jade's smiling genuinely more than ever, and you can't believe how lucky you are to have both him and Miharu in your arms

You direct your eyes towards Miharu, and his gaze follows yours, a tender smile tugging at the corners of Jade's lips. "And this... is she our child?" he asked, his voice filled with awe. He crouched down, his hands gently cupping her face, his fingertips tracing the familiar features.

"I'm so sorry," Jade confessed, his voice filled with raw emotion. "I've been such a terrible father, I've missed out on so much of your life,"

Miharu's hand instinctively rises to meet his, her small palm finding solace against his cheek. A gentle reassurance emanates from her touch, and her voice, soft yet resolute, pierces through his self-doubt. "It's okay, daddy," she murmurs. "It's not your fault.

Without hesitation, he pulls her into a warm and encompassing embrace, enfolding her in his arms as if shielding her from the world. "Oh, my darling, you are such an angel," Jade whispers against her ear.

Hidaka (陽夏) with 陽 meaning "sun, sunlight, positive" and 夏 meaning "summer"

your son has spiky white hair, glowing tan skin, and ruby-like eyes that often sparkle with joy

you named your son after his father's sunny disposition, and the warmth in scarabia that you look back on fondly in your memories with him

hoo boy you got yourself a piece of bouncing sunshine

he's so bright and happy and warm and there's always a wide smile on his face that makes anyone who sees it feel re-energised

will often do things on impulse out of pure curiosity, but if you tell him off he's immediately apologising and hoping you're not mad at him

snuggles so much!! the first thing he does when he sees you is run up and jump into your arms

he's always willing to share what he has with others, and is friendly with everyone

though he has a big appetite, he's not picky about food and will happily eat anything you give him

he's not the smartest and is rather oblivious much like his father, but he makes up for it with how passionate and motivated he can be

but when he's determined, he can be surprisingly smart

when he heard about the kind and brave man his father was, he was visibly shaking in excitement, firing question after question

and before long, his determination to reunite his family brought the two of you into a dim room lit by a single nightside lantern

Kalim sat at the bed clutching a turban you had gifted him, his face has matured and lost most of its baby fat

Kalim's lips are parted, his breath catching in his throat as he sits there, rooted to the spot. "This... this can't be real," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper, as he takes a tentative step forward, his heart pounding loudly.

His feet move as if guided by unseen forces. His eyes fixate on your face, searching for any sign that this is not a figment of his imagination. A fragile smile begins to form on his lips, the corners of his mouth quivering with a mix of disbelief and joy.

His steps quicken, echoing through the room, each one carrying him closer to the person he thought he had lost forever. And then, in a burst of exhilaration, he is by your side, his arms encircling you with a strength born from the depths of his soul.

"It's you," Kalim gasps, his voice filled with raw emotion. His grip tightens, his embrace both gentle and fervent as he twirls you around in the air, a whirlwind of emotions propelling him forward. Laughter escapes his lips, an expression of pure elation and gratitude. "Thank the heavens you're back! I never thought I'd see you again!"

oh he's crying waterfalls nonstop, you and Hidaka try to comfort him and wipe his tears but he only cries harder at your touch

at this point, jamil bursts into the room,

alert and thoroughly confused why Kalim is crying in the middle of the night

though when he sees you, his expression visibly softens and after asking a few questions to confirm your identity, he genuinely welcomes you back

his reaction to Hidaka is "oh no another one" but with the way he lifts him into the air and the teasing smile on his face you can tell he's not completely serious

after graduation, Kalim worked hard to inherit the Asim family business and has grown to become a successful businessman who cares for his workers and people

jamil willingly offers to take over Kalim's role for a while so that he can spend time catching up with you two, and it's clear from their exchange their relationship has improved a lot

Kalim, despite having seemingly matured, clings onto you like a child and you feel things haven't changed much at all

as the heir, he has been pressured to get married, but it didn't feel right for him when he still longed for you

so he's incredibly glad you can now permanently be the person who stays by his side, showing his affection by showering you with gifts and snuggling with you any chance he gets

he's great with Hidaka too! they're both super energetic and curious though, so occasionally jamil or you have to step in and be the reasonable person

so many impromptu trips on the magic carpet with the three of you just exploring places and going wherever you want!

he's also very very cautious about your security, all of a sudden he has a wife and a healthy heir, so undoubtedly there are some eyes turned to you

but Kalim has grown stronger and wiser to be able to protect what he cherishes, so he's not letting any harm come your way

Kalim gently pulls back, his eyes flickering between you and the little boy who bore an undeniable resemblance to him. "You've brought us such an incredible gift," he whispers, his voice tinged with awe. "A child, our child. I can't believe it..." His voice trails off, trailing into a breathless hush as he tries to comprehend everything.

Bending down gracefully, Kalim positions himself at eye level with Hidaka. "Hello there, little one," he murmurs, his words floating on a cloud of softness. "I'm Kalim, your...dad." The weight of the word lingers on his tongue.

Hidaka's face lights up like a radiant sun, a beacon of pure joy. Without hesitation, he lunges forward, embracing Kalim in a tight hug. Laughter bubbles up from within him, filling the air with a melodic symphony. "My daddy!" he exclaims, his voice a chorus of excitement. "I've always wanted to meet you!"

Kalim's tears fall freely once again as he wraps his arms around Hidaka, holding him close.

Honoka (火華) with 火 meaning "fire" and 華 meaning "flower, splendour, brilliance"

your daughter had bright yellow eyes that seemed to shine in the dark, and seemingly normal curly blue hair, until it would act in a similar way to Idia's hair when she became emotional

you named your daughter after her father's fiery hair, his inner brilliance and potential, and of course, the idea of a flower blooming in the underworld (Persephone vibes hehe)

she's the child who's quiet and introverted on the outside, but has so much to say when she's alone with you

most of the time she's generally soft-spoken, mumbling and acting shy with strangers

but oh wait? there's a pop-up arcade of her favourite show??? gremlin child activated

ridiculously good at games, even if she just learnt the rules, it's very like she'll end up being the winner

you used to spend a lot of time styling her hair, but there were too many instances where soon after finishing styling, her emotions became too unstable and her hair turned into flames

still braidable, just not explainable to strangers

she's kinda like a cat in the sense that she'll act like she doesn't care or not want your touch, but when you pat her head or brush her hair, she just sits still and beams at your affection

definitely clings onto you when there are too many strangers and she's scared

ridiculously smart and good at math and technology, and she had no issues learning magical theory from you

when you told her about the brilliant but shy man her father was, she was dying to meet him when he sounded so similar to her

and after running some tests and calculations, she connected her magic to Idia and the next moment you know, you were in the Styx science lab, with Idia, his hair tied up, his eyebags worse than ever, standing right in front of you

Idia's heart skips a beat as he catches sight of your figure emerging from the radiant light, a surreal moment that defies all expectations. "OMG, it actually worked..." he exclaims, dropping his tablet to the floor, forgotten in his rush towards you.

With each stride, the weight of years apart seems to evaporate, replaced by a resplendent glimmer of hope that grows brighter with every passing moment. His palms grow clammy, but undeterred, he continues his determined approach, craving the warmth of your presence.

He finds himself standing in front of you, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The room seems to shrink, narrowing down to just the three of them, the air heavy with anticipation.

Idia's voice quivers, his words delicate as they tremble in the air, like a fragile melody woven with threads of longing and regret. "I...I can't believe it's really you. I've missed you so damn much." His voice cracks with emotion, his vulnerability laid bare as he reached out to hold you.

Idia's crying and Ortho's right next time him congratulating his success, though there's a loving and emotional tone to his robotic voice

he's holding you so tightly and crying and he just melts into your arms and warmth

soon after graduation, Idia began working more and more at styx to inherit the family business

but a side project of his for the longest time was opening a portal where you could go back and forth between two worlds

and miraculously, his system connected with Honoka's magic and you were back!

idia's incredibly nervous and surprised he has a daughter, and he has a mild panic attack before he's a bit more calmed down with your and Ortho's help

but once things have settled down a bit, you'll start living comfortably with your family in styx

though idia may be busy at times, he always has ortho with you or some cameras near you so you won't suddenly disappear on him

you're basically irreversibly a part of the shroud family now, and in his mind, you really didn't get to choose

his anxiety about you leaving keeps him up at night, but when he wakes up from nightmares and you're the first thing he sees, he slowly calms down and curls his body into you to feel more of your warmth

gaming sessions with Honoka!! he introduces all sorts of his favourite games to her, though you make sure they're not too violent and inappropriate knowing him, and they bond over playing and introducing games to each other

family game nights with you four playing basically Mario party or co-op games!!

and though Idia's still working on breaking the family curse, even more motivated now because he doesn't want it affecting Honoka, he's so grateful fate has finally given him this happiness, to be able to live together as a family with his most cherished people

Trembling with a mix of excitement and trepidation, Idia knelt down to meet Honoka at eye level, his voice filled with a gentle warmth. "Hey there, kiddo. It's... it's really nice to finally meet you." His words carried a hint of awe, as if he couldn't quite believe that this precious little being was a part of him.

Honoka's eyes sparkled with a mixture of curiosity and recognition, her small hand reaching out to touch his hair. She uttered her first words, a tender melody that danced in the air. "You have the same hair as me... Daddy?" she asked curiously.

Tears welled up in Idia's eyes as he comprehended her words, a tender smile graced his lips. His voice choked with love and gratitude. "Yeah kid, I'm your daddy." He pulls her into a hug, "Let's play lots of games together, yeah?"

Keitarou (蛍太郎) with 火 meaning "firefly" and 華 meaning "eldest son"

your son has black hair that fades at the tips to a blue reminiscent of the sky right before sunrise, and shimmering emerald eyes with a reptile-like slit in them

you named your son after the night you first met his father who manifested as fireflies, and a reference to the nickname you chose to call him

your son is very polite to strangers, but he struggles with getting along with his peers

he'd love to make friends, but his aura comes off as overwhelming to other people, so unfortunately he does feel a bit lonely

but he loves it when he's at home with you, when you shower all of your affection onto him and he feels so loved and cherished

he loves his mama so much he always wants to help you with chores and whatnot, but unfortunately he can be rather clumsy and oblivious which leads to more problems being made

but in those situations, you always show him the correct way of doing things, while also reassuring him it's okay he made mistakes, what's important is learning from them

super clingy and cuddly! sometimes he becomes territorial and his dragon tail appears and curls itself around your limbs

you have masterfully disguised his budding horns by wrapping his hair around them, explaining to others than he liked this Halloween costume so much he wanted it done everyday

being half fae, he's incredibly talented at magic and it really does come as second nature to him

when you told him about his charming yet fearsome father, he was really curious about this figure, but also a part of him wondered why his wonderful mama would choose someone like him?

well, mama seems to miss him a lot, and Keitarou loves nothing more than seeing you happy, and all of a sudden, you're standing in the throne room or the dark gothic castle, and right across the room was the King of Briar Valley, his expression stone cold and cautious until he met you eyes

Silver and Sebek, positioned in a defensive stance, braced themselves for whatever entity would emerge from the swirling portal. As the portal dissipated, revealing the figure within, Malleus gasped, his breath catching in his throat. A surge of emotions overwhelmed him, an electric current coursing through his veins.

His steps quickened, propelled by an overwhelming desire to bridge the chasm of time and distance that had separated you for far too long. The distance between you closed swiftly, his graceful stride carrying him closer to the embodiment of his deepest longing. The words that slipped from his lips were laden with a tenderness and longing that only you could evoke.

"My dearest Child of Man, is it truly you?" Malleus murmured, his voice a fragile whisper, as if afraid to shatter the fragile reality that had materialized before him. His outstretched hands trembled, yearning to cradle you once more, to feel the warmth of your presence.

A mixture of awe and reverence coated his words as he continued, his voice barely audible but drenched in profound emotion. "You came back. It's been so long, far too long..." His voice trailed off, swallowed by the weight of the years that had separated you.

he's so shaken the rain has cleared up to bring about a beautiful rainbow that hovered over the castle

silver and sebek go to get lilia, and it's a heartfelt family reunion

they've all seen how Malleus has returned back to his hollow shell of existence after you left, and they're so glad his eyes are glimmering with emotions once again

though some are more direct about it, and others felt the need to rant about how cruel it was to leave them (we love you sebek)

though he's been urged by his advisors to quickly marry and start producing an heir, he's adamantly refused because he firmly believed nobody would ever make him feel the same way you did

there are some advisors who are secretly unhappy with the fact that the queen is human and the new heir is half-human, but nobody would dare say a word when they see the Malleus Draconia act like an oversized puppy dog with his head in your lap

plus, Keitarou magical prowess and intelligence easily put them in their place

Malleus, with your return, has grown more openly dramatic and affectionate

for example, if you mention you like a certain flower, the next day the entire garden is replanted to that exact flower

do calm him down a bit so he won't be too extra with his love language

Keitarou and Malleus sort of have this rivalry between the two of them to get the most of your affections

but they do eventually reach a truce when they both agree you're the most important thing in the world

but you know, general lighthearted sabotage on both ends, Keitarou wants to sleep with his mama, so papa can sleep alone yeah?

no it ends up with the entire family sleeping together and you're sandwiched in the middle

well, at least it's a happy family of two possessive dragons and possibly a baby princess coming on the way?

Keitarou hid behind your legs, his small frame peeking out to catch glimpses of the man standing before you.

"Hm? Is he... our child?" His voice carried a soft tremor, as if he dared not let himself believe in the possibility. But your nod, filled with affirmation and a love that transcended time, set loose a cascade of emotions within him. A serene smile graced his features, radiating warmth and a profound sense of peace.

Malleus turned towards Keitarou, his eyes tender and gentle, a wellspring of paternal affection flowing freely. "Hello, young one," he began, his words carrying a weight of significance that only a father's voice could hold. "I am your father, and it is a pleasure to meet you."

Keitarou's wide eyes glistened with a mix of wonder and cautious hope as he listened to Malleus's gentle words. "Hello," he murmured, his voice filled with a blend of innocence and an innate longing for connection. "I... I'm Keitarou," he continued, his voice wavering slightly but growing stronger with each syllable. "It's... it's nice to meet you, Father."

Malleus's smile widened, mirroring the joy and relief that flooded his own heart. With open arms, he enveloped Keitarou in a warm embrace.

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Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 4✧Masterlist

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #jade leech x reader #jade leech #twisted wonderland jade #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #twisted wonderland kalim #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #twisted wonderland idia #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #twisted wonderland malleus

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singmyaubade · 7 months

Text

No Longer Yours

James Potter x Female!Reader

A/N: Hello everyone! Now, I know I took so long to post this part but I wanted to think out everything and understand the direction of where the story is going! Thank you to everyone who was understanding and continued supporting me and this story, thank you so much!

IB: In The Cold November Rain by @sweetsweetjellybean (This is truly amazing guys and what truly inspired this entire series so please check it out!)

Summary: James had disregarded you for multiple years, but when you have an epiphany in your final year, how does it feel to taste his own medicine?

Warning: It may contain swearing, use of weed, and soon-to-be smut.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The fresh sunlight peaked through the curtains in your room right onto your face as you squinted. Nothing like a beam of light hitting your face after three days of avoiding the Potter family.

You hadn't left your room and Dot kept appearing, asking if you needed anything and would give you dinner when it was time. You knew Euphemia was up to this but she wanted to give you your space which you respected.

You loved Euphemia dearly but you didn't know how to face her or what to say about everything. In all honesty, you were a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.

You wanted to go home badly but your Father was still sick and your Mom had to stay with him so it was with the Potters for Christmas which was a tragedy within itself.

You had asked your Mom if you could just go next door and stay there alone but she considered it rude and the Potters would still have to check up on you so it was easier if you stayed with them.

You just couldn't stop thinking about everything which was more painful.

You never felt like you acted obsessive when it came to James but hearing his words in your heard,

"I couldn't get away from you, and the only time I could was when I dated Lily; it was the best months of my life,"

The words echoed in your head during the last three days. You knew you were an amazing friend to James and always thought about his needs and comforted him.

And he had the audacity to say such cruel words when all you had been was kind and caring towards him.

Not only did it anger you but you felt humiliated that you could care for such a hateful and disgusting person.

He hadn't even tried to approach you about the situation, he just continued to live in the same house with you without such of a word.

The only one who did try to talk to you was Sirius and even when you tried to ignore him, he refused it and to admit, he was hard to ignore.

"Oh Y/N!" Sirius sang loudly outside of your door, "I know you can hear me!" You clutched your pillow over your ears to drown him out, "If you don't let me in, I'm gonna tell everyone what I saw you do in the girls bathroom sixth year," He said, urging you to the door as it swung open.

You glared at him while he had a grin on his face as he stepped inside your room, "Wow, Mom really set you up with the perks," He looked around in atonishment.

"What do you want?" You said sincerely.

"How are you?" He nervously asked, scratching the back of his head.

You scoffed, "Peachy,"

His face frowned, "I know you don't want to hear about James-" He started.

You cut him off, "Ding ding! I don't," You replied, laying on your bed as Sirius sighed.

"Prongs is a dickhead," Sirius started, earning a nod from you, "But he's trying to turn the love he has for you into hate," He explained as you looked off to the window, "So that he won't miss you but he does dearly," Sirius pleaded.

"Why can't he be the one to be mature?" You asked lightly, "Why does everyone always have to speak for him and excuse his poor behavior?" You exhaled, crossing your arms over your silk nightgown.

"James will never deserve you," Sirius answered, "But I do think a serious conversation is needed without the dramatics,"

You knew that you agreed that you needed to have a conversation with James to put an end to all the bullshit and to just finally be done but you didn't know what to say or how to start it.

"The only reason he hasn't tried talking to you is because he knows you will see how he truly feels and who you've always known," Sirius spoke, "It's up to you but I know that whatever you decide will be the best option," He gave you a reassuring smile.

You looked at him, smiling back, "When did you become so wise?" You asked.

He shrugged, "I'm afraid I've gotten fed up of James and gotten bored," He snickered as you giggled, "I'll see you," He said, kissing your forehead lightly as you nodded before he exited the room.

James didn't deserve you and he probably never would but you remembered that young boy who had been your friend for all of those years.

You couldn't excuse James's actions but you could find it in your heart to give him the much dreaded conversation that has been waiting to happen.

And despite hating him more than you ever have in your life, you had to find it in you to at least explain your feelings.

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts, "Sirius?" You asked confused as the door swung open.

You were surprised to see your four best friends at the door, smiling at you.

"Ew why was that your first guess?" Marlene questioned disgusted as your face glowed in excitement, racing over to your four best friends at the door.

You embraced them all in a tight hug as you pulled back, "What are you guys doing here?" You gleamed in excitement.

"Well, we heard about what happened from Sirius and Euphemia suggested that we come," Dorcas answered.

"And well, we couldn't say no," Mary added.

"But what about Christmas with your families?" You asked, frowning at the fact that they won't spend Christmas with their families.

"It's just one Christmas and I'm sure Petunia will have a better Christmas without me," Lily giggled as you gave her a soft smile.

"Well I can't say it's that merry here," You said, sitting on your bed as they all walked in and Dorcas started admiring the bookshelf in the corner.

Lily sat down next to you as Mary and Marlene shared the chair across from you and Lily, "How about we actually have one day to celebrate your birthday instead of focusing on James?" Lily comforted.

"It's never one of those days," You sighed.

"But it can be," Dorcas smirked, holding up candies.

"Candy?" Mary asked with a snort.

Dorcas rolled her eyes, "No you idiot, there's weed inside them," She whispered.

Your mouth agaped, "Where did you even get that?" You asked.

"Remus is one hell of a dealer," Dorcas replied, grinning ear to ear.

"I don't know about that," Lily said, swallowing.

"You did say that you wanted to celebrate Y/N's birthday," Marlene replied with a smart-ass tone.

"That is not what I meant and you know it," Lily argued.

"We don't have to do it Lils," You smiled, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"Yes my sweet Lily flower," Marlene walked over, pinching Lily's cheek, "Let's not prevent you from blooming," She snickered.

Lily stared daggers into Marlene, "You know what, just to prove you wrong McKinnon," Lily replied, walking over to Dorcas and snatching the bag from her.

"Wait a second!" Dorcas softly shouted before Lily ate two of the candies.

Lily's face contorted into disgust and then a gulp before shaking her head, trying to shake off the flavor.

"Is that safe?" You asked, walking over to Lily and checking her eyes.

"Yeah but it just means she's gonna fucked out of her mind," Mary snorted.

"Lily, you are the one who tells us to never fall for Marlene's tatics yet you do this!" Dorcas said, sitting Lily down.

"I feel fine!" Lily persisted.

"For now," Marlene snickered.

You glared at Marlene as she put her hands defensively, "Well if we wanna follows Lily lead," Mary said, eating two like Lily did.

"Count me in!" Marlene cheered, eating two straight after.

"Should we?" Dorcas asked as you shrugged your shoulders and took two as Dorcas did the same.

You both ate the candies and your face contorted the same Lily's did. It tasted like a bitter, earthy taste as if you were chewing cannabis.

"And now we wait," Marlene said, plopping down.

You yawned as Marlene exasperated, "I don't feel anything!"

"Well duh you idiot, it takes a little bit," Mary chortled, continuing to lay down on the carpet of the living room next to LIly.

"You did insist we move downstairs because you thought the aroma of Y/N's room was ruining it," Dorcas snorted.

Marlene crossed her arms, "It seemed right at the time," She pouted, sitting down in the big armchair.

"Maybe we should've took more," Mary suggested.

And that's when everything took a turn for the worst.

You felt like you couldn't fully think straight and you had this sweet, bitter taste in your mouth. You felt relaxed like a huge weight had been lifted in your shoulders and you could be alone in your own thoughts.

"Took more?" Lily giggled.

"Yeah duh," Mary said, giggling too.

"Duh," Dorcas repeated as you all laughed uncontrollably.

"Stop, I can't breathe," You horrendously laughed, holding your stomach in your hands.

"Guys, I'm gonna pee myself!" Marlene cried out, rocking back and forth laughing in the chair.

"Guys, we are so loud," Lily whispered, shushing all of you while uncontrollably laughing.

You felt like you were gonna explode, "You're right, you're right," You whispered, trying to calm down.

"Okay guys silent game," Dorcas shushed, covering her hand over her mouth.

Suddenly Sirius walked in with a confused grin on his face on why you all were whispering and trying to be silent, "What are you guys bloody doing?" He asked which made you all break.

You all bursted out into outrageous laughs while holding your stomach's, trying not to explode. James walked downstairs with a confused smile on his face as he watched the scene in front of them.

"What's up with them?" James asked, the corner of his mouth upturning.

"No idea," Sirius shrugged, walking into the dining hall as James followed him.

"Girls," Euphemia appeared from the dining hall as you all tried to shush yourselves, "Come into the hall for dinner," She gave a comforting smile.

'Shit.' You mentally thought.

Lily was the first one to rise up, looking at the rest of you with a worried look on her face. You stood up, trying to inhale the next laughing round.

You walked towards the dining hall as you could hear the girls behind you, whispering and saying to "act normal."

You sat down next to James as his face was mentally confused on why you had made that decision in the first place.

You felt like your eyes fluttering close as you laid your head on James's shoulder. You could feel him shift uncomfortably but let it happen without questioning you.

Euphemia saw the state in front of her in utter shock, "Y/N, are you okay dear?" She asked, worried.

You didn't want her to suspect that you had taken anything or were under the influence,

So all you had to do was act normal.

How hard could it be?

You straightened yourself on your chair, taking your head off of James, "I'm fine!" You said, louder than you wanted to, earning a worried look from James, Sirius, Fleamont, and Euphemia, "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night," You cleared your throat.

"I'm sorry to hear that dear, do you need any potions?" Euphemia asked.

"No, no, that's okay," You smiled as she returned one back but still looked worried.

"James, can you grab me a piece of that chicken and some potatoes?" You asked, looking up at him as his eyes showed visible shock.

He hesitated before grabbing a piece of the chicken using a fork and knife and placing it on your plate and grabbing the spoon to put potatoes on the plate. You muttered a 'thanks' before digging into the chicken and potatoes.

You weren't the only one because the rest of the girls were doing the same. Sirius, Fleamont, Euphemia, and James all had shocked expressions, wondering if you guys were wolves.

Fleamont whispered something to Euphemia as she assured him that you guys were fine even if it didn't look like it.

"Y/N, are you okay?" James whispered into your ear.

You smiled, "I'm fine James, how are you?" You asked before stifling a laugh.

"Are you blazed?" He asked with a scoff.

"Shh," You laughed while shushing, "Don't tell Mom,"

"Bloody hell," James replied, trying not to laugh at the situation, "Okay, try to follow my lead," He whispered before standing, "Mum, Y/N is not feeling well, I'm gonna take her to lay down," He said, helping you stand up by grabbing your waist.

"Do you want me to come with?" Euphemia asked, rising up.

"No, no, it's fine," James stopped her, "She just needs to rest,"

Euphemia nodded, "Okay well, feel better dear," Euphemia smiled as James began walking you and you squeezed Euphemia's shoulder in a 'thank you,'

James whispered a few things that you couldn't make out while taking you up the stairs, helping you on each step. You almost tripped over a step as James grabbed your waist, leading you up the stairs.

You laughed obnoxiously as you went from room to room, trying to get to your own. James could only try not to laugh and be the serious one in the moment.

He was leading you to your room but you placed your hands on the door frame, stopping him, "No, your room," You frowned.

"Y/N, you need to sleep in your bed," James insisted, trying not to laugh.

"Jamesie, pleaseeee," You pleaded as he couldn't force you through the door frame and gave up.

"Okay," James sighed, "Come on," He didn’t want to see the sad look on your face any longer so he had to cave.

You cheered gleefully as James leaded you to his room, carefully helping you step towards his bed before laying you on the bed.

You looked up at him with a smile as he blushed, "I'm gonna go back downstairs and then I'll sleep in your room," He said, moving to leave.

"Wait!" You yelled, raising up, "Lay with me," You looked at him in the eyes as you looked at him back.

His mouth agaped, "Y/N, I don't know if this is a good idea," He replied.

"We aren't doing anything, I just want you to lay with me," You said, pleading with your eyes.

He walked over to the other side of you, laying up on the headboard as you moved your head to his chest, snuggling into him. His heart was beating faster than you ever could have felt it beat.

"Why are you so mean to me?" You asked, frowning into his chest.

He ran his hands through your hair, "Because I don't know what else to do," He whispered, slowing his strokes down, "I really am sorry Y/N, I don't know if you can forgive me,"

"Just talk to me," You said sadly in his chest.

"When you are sober, I will," He chuckled.

"Promise?" You asked.

"Promise," He said as your eyes fluttered close, sleeping into his chest, "I promise Y/N," He whispered, kissing your head before closing his eyes too.

A/N: For one, I am so sorry for how long this chapter has taken. Number two, this was based on my experience of being high so guys, please don't hate and say this isn't the right experience! This chapter was not that long and not very angst filled but I know my plan! Again, if you hated this, I apologize and thank you so much for reading.

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the-defendery-189 · 3 months

Text

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS #1

Venus & Neptune square and aspects in general, especially negative ones - lazy, creative, and inspirational, yet so delusional and preferring their fantasies to the relatity in their relationships and often not even realise they're doing that.

Capricorn and Virgo and Aquarius suns are imo the ones to hate astrology the most, like once they learn there are also bad things about their signs, wow!!!, they immediately hate it and GOOOD, astrology is so TERRIBLE and UNREAL and FAKE... 🙄🙄🙄

Scorpio suns are very hypocritical. Once they say some things but when it's suddenly against them, you're just making it up, it never happened! Also gaslight people and are just generally very proud and irrational when hurt a lot. Blame others a lot. Get all defensive and icky when people actually try to accuse them of something they have done.

Geminis can use fake tears to make you pity them and then act like it's all your fault, anyways.

Also sags use their feelings to try to gaslight people and make them feel sad for them and excuse themselves when they just don't care about them anymore, and just make them seem like it's all the other persons fault, when they'll still go like "its not you, it's me" in the end.

Cancer suns are very quirky in a kind of disgusting way, personally I get very annoyed by them and they still think I think they're oh so cute.

Also cancer men are very manipulative and might want to seem like the prince charming and saviour of all the women. Often matriarchal and want women to have all the power. Also submissive to them in sex and generally want women to be the dominant ones in a relationship. Often grew up in a home without a father, who left them as a child, their mother ruling the household. Might be the youngest sibling. Bullied in school and bullying others, hiding behind the "but I'm a soft boy uwu 😩😣💖💖💖🫀🫀🫀❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💔💔💔👈👈👈" excuse and trauma that have happened to them. Either metalheads or soft boys uwu discord kittens. Often joke about furries and cringe weird communities and their obsessions. Very chronically online and may have grew up as a YouTube creepy pasta or smth else child.

Also Cancer men - Will pretend to listen to a girl because they know this is what they want --- because of that mother relationship they grew up with. But seriously just not give a fuck for real in their heads, they just know how to be smart and manipulate women. Don't feel comfortable around men BCS of their too-much-comfortable being they happen to switch on when are with women. Often put on a mask in front of men and pretend to be someone who they aren't. Men might think they're cool then, which j really don't understand. Like what???

Also cancer men and women - mommy issues, if it wasn't obvious. Can be very backstabbing and distrustful and think of themselves as mega hot and the best. Often boring texters and talkers. Rant a lot and talk about their hyperfixations and how the world is cruel and shit towards them, but really sometimes you can't help but wonder if they don't deserve it.

Saturn in 7th - Abusive relationships, getting married later in life, husband/wife popular and maybe rich, so if they abuse you, nobody might believe you and everybody will be on their side because they might be just more charismstic than you.

My parents both have this placement and it is HELL.

Lilith in 10th, 1th - Women envy you, hate you and sabotage you, men think you're too dark and edgy for them. People thinking you think you're better then them, this hating you. Being too charismatic for your own good.

Leo Venus - again, as it is with the Saturn in 7th. Could be more popular and overall likeable so if they do terrible things to you, nobody will believe you. Might just be nobody believing me cuz of crazy people around me tho.

Neptune in 1st - people might find you very attractive and ethereal, but also project on you A LOT. Meaning connections and relationships with you are just really difficult to even happen BCS people are always so judging and mean towards you.

Chiron in 1st - Body image issues, partners might abuse you and body shame you, people thinking less of you and in childhood parents often telling you you look ugly. I'm sorry people, I have this placement too tho so its not like I'm shaming you too, just I can feel your pain.

Scorpio ascendant - Too assertive and proud of your uniqueness and too opinionated for your own good. You guys are so clear with your speaking and always speak your mind and aren't fearful to express yourself how you feel and how your think and are always so like colorful with the things you say if you know what I mean. People will despise you for that and try to shut you up. And as somebody who did this to my scorp rising friend before subconsciously,,, yep. It happens even from your trusted friends.

If your moon is in the same sign as your friends/anyone's ascendant... You might feel instantly understood by them. Like I have this with my friend and it's an absolutely great and fantastic relationship, I love her. She absolutely understands me and gets me on a spiritual level - maybe caused by the fact that we have this with Scorpio - like no one else. It's a great relationship, savour this.

If you have a moon sign same as somebody's sun sign, you might enjoy their cooking.

If you have a sun sign same as somebody else's rising, you might try to be more like them and adore them for no reason.

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marsbotz · 1 year

Note

Saw your tag saying FSM haters come fight you. Here I am! Frankly I'm not so much of a hater as I am just of the opinion "wow this guy sure Started All This Shit" but I'm absolutely willing to hear your view of the matter if you're willing to share! Love some Friendly Fandom Discourse (it's healthy tbh) come at me bro 👊 👊 👊

HI LOL.... my personal opinion is that the FSM gets a lot of hate for similar reasons to wu (which i also think are unjustified but that's a different post). like you said he gets a lot of the blame put on him for starting everything that's to come in the show, but i don't really feel like he intended to do any harm.

the FSM was born into a war. when he was still a very young child, he was forced to choose one side of himself, of his family, and destroy the other. and so he ran away. but this world he runs to is chaotic and dangerous. and so again, he is forced to fight for the right to live in peace along with the inhabitants of this world.

but even in this new world, he wasn't safe: the oni followed him, determined to bring him back to fight for them. and after them, the overlord. his whole life, especially when he was younger, he had been fighting, or running from forces that aimed to destroy him.

i believe the FSM was incredibly paranoid throughout his life, worrying that at any moment everything would be ripped away from him. this can be seen in how secretive he was, how much of his history is hidden away. the mech used to win the war against the overlord was sealed away where it could never be found. he granted elemental powers to select people to help keep him safe. even in his death, he hid away, in a place that even wu could not find.

this paranoia carries on through his sons. he taught them both to fight, to protect themselves, when they were also very young. one of the earliest moments we see of them is them fighting with swords! and though he loves them, they are not immune to his secrecy, or his fears. when they steal the scrolls and enter the serpentine territory, he never fully trusts them again. when garmadon gets bitten and starts to turn to evil, he's desperate to cure him. and i don't fully believe that the FSM intended to make garmadon feel broken or "wrong"... just that his fear has so consumed him at this point that he can't see the damage he's doing to his children.

it's also worth noting that despite garmadon's corruption, the FSM never truly hated him. he was left to protect the golden weapons alongside wu, he recieved the same protective enchanted gi, and was left the same clues to find him after his death. it's just that garmadon was unable to see this through the corruption (which is another post).

perhaps all he did was to protect his sons. that seems to be how wu sees it, at least. because wu repeats this same behaviour with the ninja, even if unintentionally. he brings these kids into a war because that happened to him, and his father before him. maybe he doesn't even realise it's wrong. he hides things from them not only because because he's ashamed of his past (again, another post lol), but because his father always hid things from him. it protects wu, but it also protects the ninja.

i don't believe the FSM was a flawless person. hes one of many grey characters in ninjago, and to boil down everything he did to "good" or "bad" is a disservice. maybe you see him as someone who only ever ran from problems instead of truly solving them, maybe you see him as a cruel and neglectful father. and maybe those are both true. but he's also someone who always tried to fight for peace, for himself and everyone in ninjago, and someone who truly loved his sons, despite the damage he did to them both.

so that's who i think the FSM was. an immortal, all powerful godlike being, yes, but also a scared child who just wanted to live peacefully, and would do anything to prevent another war. and maybe he is, in some way, indirectly responsible for every bad thing in the show, but i think this is more of an after-effect of the countless wars and conflict. he did the best he could, and considering all he went through, i think he did alright.

#also like. he died thousands of years ago so the fact that its only recently things have been kicking off is quite impressive LOL #ninjago #the first spinjitzu master #fsm ninjago #SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.... hopefully it makes sense i rlly didnt wanna spend ages on this but theres soooo much to say #its hard not diving into hc territory too LOL....#like always my thoughts on ninjago are complex and weave into each other... so its hard to make them coherent but hopefully it comes across #i have two other big essay posts im working on rn so yeah i didnt wanna spend.. AGES on it haha #if u disagree or r confused come argue w me pleasee i love sharing opinions abt this shit. its so fun. jsut dont be rude thats all i ask :]#asks #also i didnt know where to put this but worth noting: wu and garm entering the serpentine territory risked starting Another war.#so him being mad is fairlyyyy reasonable i think. even if he was extreme abt it #smth else i didnt know where to put: the theory that the overlord is the manifestation of fsms oni side/inner conflict over his identity #issue upon issues....#anyway. i think its a little unfair that ppl always talk abt how awful it is that the ninja had to fight so young and stuff #when the exact same things happened to wu garm and fsm

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latelyanobsession · 2 years

Text

Bang Bang

summary you hadn’t known billy hargrove long, but you won’t let the impact he made on you go unnoticed.

warnings angst, pining, grief, and pure unadulterated tears

word count 1,228

note I was writing for my series when Nancy Sinatra’s Bang Bang - My Baby Shot Me Down came up on my Spotify and I just said to myself, ‘wow fuck me up fam.’ And so I thought I shouldn’t keep the tears to myself anymore. tried to once again write this from a gn!reader perspective.

As always any feedback is much appreciated. Thanks for reading!

You’d barely even known Billy Hargrove for a year.

Not even a year.

It might be better to say you hardly knew him.

And yet a part of you felt like you’d known him forever.

When you heard the helicopters roaring by overhead as you stood in your yard that muggy July morning...

You somehow knew in the pit of your stomach that something had gone terribly wrong.

Going inside to ask your parents about it, your mother already had on the television.

The local news affiliate, WCPK was broadcasting from the Starcourt Mall.

“There’s been an accident...” your father said from his armchair, clicking up the volume.

Hope Freeman was reporting in front of the south entrance near the food court.

Smoke was billowing in large plumes from the roof behind her.

But that wasn’t what upset you.

Behind the police tape, to the right of the camera frame, was a busted up muscle car next to a totaled convertible.

There was only one guy in town that you knew who drove a car like that.

Who drove a 1979 Chevy Camaro Z28.

You grabbed your keys.

It couldn’t be true.

There was already a crowd at the mall. You couldn’t even begin to count how many news vans there were.

This was probably the biggest story to ever hit Hawkins to date. But that wasn’t what you cared about.

Your feet carried you to the exact spot. As far as the police tape would let you go.

It was true.

There. Right in front of you.

The passenger’s side of the camaro was wrecked. The sideview mirror was hanging by a thread. The hood was bent up, pulled away from the frame.

The windshield was smashed beyond recognition and ... were there bullet holes?

Water was dripping from the chassis but the remains were still smoldering. The contracting metal still making small clinks and pops as it cooled.

The car looked so horrific. It terrified you thinking of the violence that had occurred overnight.

While you had been none the wiser. Sleeping comfortably.

You felt sick. Guilty. How had you not known?

On the far east side there were still a few ambulances packing up.

You needed to know.

The EMTs were not busy. There was no flurry of activity.

Weren’t they supposed to be helping people?

A gurney was rolling out one of the bay doors. There was a sheet covering their form.

You really, truly didn’t want to think about this. The possibility of who was under there.

Hitting the curb, an arm rolled out.

You choked out a loud sob, your eyes seeing the ring on the middle finger.

Reality was cruel.

You had just seen him a couple days ago.

You had a massive argument that night. He said the most the most terrible things to you.

Things that you never would’ve believed he would say. It didn’t really seem like he himself believed he was saying them.

He wanted you gone. Out of his life. At any cost he said.

You didn’t believe him. It was breaking you.

Shattering you to pieces to hear each biting word come from the lips of someone you trusted so dearly.

Someone you genuinely loved but had no heart to tell.

He pushed you out.

Slamming the door right in your face, and taking everything you thought you had figured out in life with him.

The funeral was miserable.

Not only for yourself but because you knew it was exactly the kind of thing he would have hated.

All the dressed up pomp and circumstance just to be planted in the ground and forgotten by people who pretend and never really knew who the hell you were in the first place.

The fake smiles. The fake tears. The false and empty “I’m sorry for your loss...”

He would have absolutely hated it.

The only person who really seemed to enjoy themselves at his funeral was his father.

The man couldn’t seem to get enough of people’s handshakes and condolences.

He fed on their pity and attention in a way that nauseated you.

You spent most of the service sitting next to his sister Max.

Neither of you said much to one another, but somehow it seemed like you both understood how awful and how stupid this all felt.

You both took solace in each other’s company if only for that reason alone.

It wasn’t even two weeks after the funeral when you heard his father was going to scrap the camaro.

You offered him cash on the spot. You didn’t even care if it was over half your savings that you had been scraping together since you were twelve.

You could not let one more piece of him be destroyed. You just couldn’t.

You lost count of how many times you’d cried since that July morning.

But the time that you cried the hardest was when the camaro was hauled into your driveway.

You had to pry the door open, the hinges creaking in distress.

Glass was everywhere. The dashboard was melted and singed with smoke.

Sitting in the tape deck, half inserted was a Def Leppard cassette, warped from the heat of the fire.

Below in the center console, were his most prized possessions.

His aviators, a zippo lighter, half a remaining pack of Marlboros and two other cassettes. Scorpions and Metallica.

You sat in that car for hours. Crying.

When you couldn’t cry any longer you would just sit there quietly and think.

Think of all the times you had been in this car.

All the times he’d yelled at you for turning down the music. Or rolling the window down. Or touching anything.

Arguing about his car. Arguing in general.

Laughing. God you missed his laugh.

His smile. The way he’d bashfully look away when a genuine grin would grace his lips.

God it all hurt so much.

Why couldn’t it have been you instead?

You wouldn’t have cared. You’d have willingly taken a bullet, run through flames. Gone to hell and back.

If it just could have been you instead.

The thing you hated most about all of this was how little his death affected others.

It felt like your entire world had stopped spinning.

And people. Classmates. Your parents.

Had the nerve. The audacity. To continue on like nothing had ever happened.

You felt like screaming. You wanted them to hurt as much as you did.

They didn’t understand. They didn’t see.

And so you sat in that car. And you would scream. And you would cry.

Eventually you worked up the strength to start cleaning it up.

You cleaned out the glass and the debris.

You replaced the windshield.

You took it to the shop got replacement parts and had the body worked on.

And each time you fixed up another little part of it.

You would talk to him.

You would talk to Billy.

You’d sit in the car and chat just like you had.

You replaced the tape deck and got new cassettes.

When the car was driveable you started taking it out. Not on long outings.

You knew he’d kill you if you did that.

Just enough to keep it working.

And you would drive that car to all the places he liked and the places he’d been.

No one was going to forget Billy Hargrove.

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greenerteacups · 11 months

Text

five scenes from the harry potter books that altered my brain chemistry (re this ask)

SCREAM.... HERMIONE GRANGER YOU WILL LITERALLY ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!

[power gap] [power gap] [power gap]

Hermione punching Draco in Book 3. Not the moment in particular, which is beautiful and well-earned, but specifically the fact that he doesn't say shit to her for the rest of the series. Hilarious. Incredible. He goes from mocking her every chance he gets to just like, occasionally snickering when something happens to her, or going after Harry or Ron (while ignoring Hermione altogether). And what's more, he doesn't retaliate. Draco "my father will hear about this" Malfoy doesn't tell anyone that he got smacked (and we know he's not too proud for it; he whines forever about Buckbeak). But nope, not Hermione. He's literally just like "holy fuck, never mind, point taken." You ever punch someone so hard they spontaneously manifest the ability to mind their own goddamn business?

Draco's bathroom scene in Book 6 — it's a humanizing moment for someone on the other side of the conflict, and it hammers home how young he is, how young they both are, despite the fact that they're becoming principal players in the war. It also shows how he's trapped by his family, which is a choice that he's made, but also something that he can't easily throw off —this is the scene that spawned a million "the boy who had no choice" edits, which I disagree with from a factual point of view, but I appreciate the elegance of it as a thematic counterpoint to Harry (who is, you know, if anybody, actually the boy who had no choice).

Hermione's Yule Ball Cinderella moment, which is so beautifully done and treats my girl so well, but also specifically the fact that Draco Malfoy canonically thinks she's beautiful. It's a great moment for the whole fandom, really, because if you like Draco then it's cute, and if you hate him then it's funny/ironic/well-deserved bit of comeuppance. Everybody wins!

When Sirius is talking to Harry in Book 5, and he's disappointed that Harry won't let him sneak out to Hogsmeade, he gets really catty and cruel: "You're less like your father than I thought. The risk's what would have made it fun, for James." Like, wow! What a fucking horrible thing to say to an orphan who's trying to save your life, jackass! But also: how fascinating, and what a great insight into Sirius's character, and also what a great read on how Harry and James are different people — added to the layer of complexity that we don't know if that's even true, because Sirius is in a snit right now, and lashing out, so we don't actually know if James would endorse this — if it risked his best friend's life, or his son's, he probably wouldn't! Or — or or or — the more likely possibility that fifteen year-old James would've jumped for this, but twenty-year-old James wouldn't have, suggesting that Sirius is conflating Harry with the younger James in order to try to relive his glory days as a Marauder, likely as a trauma response — I could talk about that moment forever, but TLDR, it's the key to Sirius's whole character, in my opinion.

bonus: "there is no need to call me sir, professor" (certified classic, a legend for a reason, no notes).

five scenes from the movies that altered your brain chemistry:

"She only likes you because you're the chosen one!" "I am the chosen one 😏" [WHACK]. they're siblings your honor

The moment they're all gathered to console Ron after he asks out Fleur to the Yule Ball, and Hermione's like oh she said no, and Ron shakes his head, and she goes: "...She said YES???" 🤭 and it's just such a babygirl moment. Emma Watson gives Hermione a very expressive face — it is, admittedly, what Jenny Nicholson might call an "eyebrow heavy" performance — but it's just delightful in scenes like this, where it's clear she absolutely cannot hide her feelings to save her life.

Not really a scene, but all of Draco's fun little outfits. Motherfucker will NOT wear his school uniform and I love it. We have the Iconique black suit from book 6, the turtlenecks, the cable jumpers, the disheveled-shirtsleeves look from the bathroom scene (whore), and especially the big dumb fur hat he wears outside (hideous. fashion icon).

McGonagall telling Neville to get Seamus to blow up the bridge to Hogwarts ("boom?" "boom!" what the fuck. she's so cute); followed by Seamus's immediate, absolutely doubtless "I can bring it down!!" like the total confidence he has... it's just a really adorable moment between a teacher and her students who clearly all love each other a lot. it's about community! they're books about community I could go on for HOURS—

Much darker moment, but Amos Diggory's reaction to Cedric's death. The actor sells that shit so well it scarred me as a kid— that ragged, unhinged, scream of grief he does when he sees Cedric's body, the way he cradles it to his chest, those heartbreaking two little words: "My boy..." Oh, my God. It goes so far beyond the emotional level that the books operate on, because it's live action, and the actor understands that this realism is crucial to you believing what's about to happen. You are watching a parent mourn the death of his only child, and it's CRUCIAL, because it's the turning point of the whole series. The death of an innocent child is the point at which Harry Potter becomes a series about war, and Amos Diggory is the first one to know it.

#“i like really good quidditch players” ripped the wig off my head and hurtled it out the window when i was 12 #my heart rate has STILL not stabilized from that moment #I think because it's such a perfect encapsulation of Hermione. smart clever funny mean girl!#harry potter #thank you for the ask this was fun <3 #much love !!

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calisources · 9 months

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BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE (2016). all quotes have been taken from zack snyder's batman v superman: dawn of justice (2016) both the threatrical and ultimate cuts. change pronouns and names as you see fit.

We're criminals, Alfred. We've always been criminals. Nothing's changed.

Everything's changed. Men fall from the sky, the gods hurl thunderbolts, innocents die.

That's how it starts, sir. The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men... cruel.

I bet your parents taught you that you mean something, that you're here for a reason.

My parents taught me a different lesson, dying in the gutter for no reason at all... They taught me the world only makes sense if you force it to.

Civil liberties are being trampled on in your city; good people living in fear.

Don't believe everything you hear, son.

I've seen it, Mr. Wayne. He thinks he's above the law.

Most of the world doesn't share your opinion, Mr. Wayne.

Maybe it's that Gotham City and me... we just have a bad history with freaks dressed like clowns.

An alien who, if he wanted to, could burn the whole place down. There wouldn't be a damn thing we can do to stop it.

Devils don't come from hell beneath us. No, they come from the sky.

Still working? You're getting slow in your old age, Alfred.

It comes to us all, Master Wayne. Even you've got too old to die young, though not for lack of trying.

Twenty years in Gotham, Alfred; we've seen what promises are worth. How many good guys are left? How many stayed that way?

The world has been so caught up with what Superman can do that no one has asked what he should do.

You're not brave... men are brave. You say that you want to help people, but you can't feel their pain... their mortality... It's time you learn what it means to be a man.

Oh, I don't think you've ever known a woman like me.

You don't know me, but I've known a few women like you.

Stay down! If I wanted it, you'd be dead already!

Next time they shine your light in the sky, don't go to it. The Bat is dead. Bury it. Consider this mercy.

Tell me. Do you bleed?

In the dream, it took me to the light. A beautiful lie.

Be their hero, Clark. Be their angel, be their monument, be anything they need you to be... or be none of it. You don't owe this world a thing. You never did.

I'm older now than my father ever was. This may be the only thing I do that matters.

Twenty years of fighting criminals amounts to nothing?

Is it stealing if you steal from another thief?

A hundred years ago I walked away from mankind, from a century of horrors. Man made a world where standing together is impossible.

Men are still good. We fight. We kill. We betray one another. But we can rebuild. We can do better. We will. We have to.

This bat vigilante has been consistently targeting the port and the adjacent projects and tenements.

Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? It's that power can be innocent.

It did on my world. My world doesn't exist anymore.

God versus man; day versus night; Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham!

You flew too close to the sun. Now look at you.

Wow. Pretty girl, bad habit. Don't quote me, alright?

You don't need to use a silver bullet. But if you forge one, you don't need to depend on the kindness of monsters.

I hope the next generation of Waynes won't inherit an empty wine cellar.

Go upstairs and socialize. Some young lady from Metropolis will make you honest.

I've killed things from other worlds before.

This thing is from another world. My world.

You were never a god. You were never even a man.

No one stays good in this world.

I'll take you in without breaking you, which is more than you deserve.

Thermal imaging is showing me two dozen hostiles on the third floor. Why don't I drop you off on the second?

've arranged for you to get a transfer to Arkham Asylum in Gotham. I still have some friends there. They're expecting you.

Ignorance is not the same as innocence.

I don't hate the sinner. I hate the sin. And yours, my friend, is existing.

Men with power obey neither policy nor principle, Miss Lane. No one is different; no one is neutral.

You must be new to "Let Them Eat Cake" beat. That is Bruce Wayne.

#rp meme #sentences memes #meme call #roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. )#rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #roleplay meme

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girlbob-boypants · 10 months

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1 8 9 24 25 🔥🔥🔥🔥

ALRIIIIIGHT let's do this. You didn't specify what so I'll. find something after I copy in the questions and see what i'm dealing with

hm. uh. let's just do 14.

Oh thats a lot of ranting oh. Um. So my rants for this game always get heavier than I expect due to the nature of this game SO

Cw for discussions abuse, racism, and misogyny.

wow it's just like complaining about the DA fandom

1 - The character everyone gets wrong

Honestly? It's Emmy Sulk himself. (Disclaimer that I can only speak through my experiences with the English translation which is known for being either spot on or way off but afaik the main story is better about this)

But his is to the point where even the writing gets him wrong in his second expac imo. Like core parts of his original presentation were that 1. He really loves being dramatic and has a sense of humor and 2. Every aspect of him has been embittered by the loss of his people. His humor is fleeting and spiteful. His view of the world is downright spiteful. This is so important to understand. Emet was not always grouchy and mean, even if he was once serious. And it's no secret even in shadowbringers. He does things out of pity and compassion for the group cause we've amused him. He says this is boring and leaves when we're held hostage. He says he does not view mortals as real people yet his mind palace views us as children rather than the man made creatures of his time.

And people took this and turned it into "oh he's a secretly nice grouch. Teehee he's mister grumpy pants" and ew ran with that and completely fucking NUKED his character in favor of fanon. We didn't even need to see what he was like back when his people were alive but if we were going to, don't tell me that the complete destruction of his people only slightly tweaked his personality. And don't turn his sharp witted best friend into a twink who's only personality trait is "Emmy is actually a good guy I promise". And to have Emmy say he thinks his cause was better but we won so he's putting his faith in us feels so. "Yeah even after getting all his memories back and seeing us in action he still maintains that creating fascist nations with creatures he viewed as subhuman was a good idea but he's your friend now so he supports you."

Literally the worst character arc ever. Imagine taking the "this villain was once kind but lost their way and became cruel and hateful" trope and reversing it into a redemption arc where the entire redemption is "yeah he's always been exactly like this but in another life you were friends so it's okay you can't hate him for what he did to your world"

8 - Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Okay I wrote an entire rant about a character and then realized there's an even worse opinion i hate more so. I'm keeping it cause everything I said is so true but this one is even more important.

Okay so a known fact among 14 fans who can read is that the Xaela au ra are meant to be Mongolian coded. It's not subtle. However it's also incredibly mean spirited. And the worst fandom opinion is that the shitty ways a Japanese studio chose to mock Mongolian culture(s) are funny. There's tribes with beliefs that are, honestly, perfectly normal things clearly being played up for laughs and the fans just clap and jeer along???

Basically the fandom opinion is "SE were so funny for how they wrote the Xaela" when actually it was racism.

Anyone who thinks Thancred is a good father, show me the receipts. Seriously the guy is downright abusive at some points and even if his emotions about it all are fair, his actions aren't. He treats Minifilia just like all of her other captives have, all while projecting his feelings about the last person he failed to protect onto her. And while it makes for a good character arc, she never gets to call him out on it and he never talks to her about it. In fact, instead of talking to her, we get some random Manpain Deadwife dude who vents about his life despite literally not mattering to the plot. And this is somehow more influential to Thancred realizing he should be better than talking to Minifilia is. Even when Minifilia expresses guilt that her being alive means Thancred will never see the person he misses more.

And as touching as their scene is when he gives her a new name that's all her own after he almost died for her is. It's not admission or apology. Minifilia deserved to have him say sorry and to say he was terrified of losing her and almost pushed her away trying to keep her safe.

BUT UNFORTUNATELY HE SUCKS SHIT AS A FATHER AND IM ADOPTING HIS CHILD AND HITTING HIM WITH A DIVORCE (never married)

9 - Worst part of canon

Just like. All of Stormblood? Worst villains, worst coding, worst character development for half the cast. Zenos is literally the epitome of the colonizer nation he's the prince of but the writing goes "noooo he doesn't care about any of that he's just power hungry so there's no commentary!! Him using a Japanese weapon he obtained by murdering and pillaging isn't commentary. Him beating and experimenting on women from colonized nations isn't commentary cause he's not doing it with those motivations!!"

I've spoken a lot about how much I hate every part of this expac. It does nothing well and leads to one of the worst villains everyone obsesses over for being a little silly despite adding nothing to the story and just being a dps check and a voice box in a cardboard cutout.

24 - topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Yotsuyu. Oh SE made one of their villains a Korean comfort woman? Quick, we better talk about how misogynistic this one character is for not killing all brothel owners everywhere even though those people still being alive means Yotsuyu never used the immense power she had as ruler to hunt them down. She had plenty of time to commit ethnic cleanses tho. Weird how that never gets brought up. Why do people criticize this game like it's a real world and the character are all acting of their own accord and not the product of real people from our world writing things?

25 - common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

ANYONE WHO WANTS ZENOS BACK NO THE FUCK YOU DONT STOP COMPLAINING THAT THE WRITERS FINALLY HAD A WOMAN ADDRESS HOW TERRIBLY HE TREATS EVERYONE WOMAN IN HIS CONTROL I SWEAR TO FUCK WHY DO SO MANY OF YOU THINK ZERO IS A MEAN BITCH FOR SAYING THE STALKER SERIAL KILLER WAS A BAD PERSON

#girlbob.txt #ff14 #if you need me to remove the strike throughs let me know btw #while im using them for comedic effect if they affect your ability to read everything ill remove it

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trashcankitty12 · 7 months

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Wow today's episode was a lot.

Chase: Dammit kid... I hate it for him. He never should have found out that way. Like, i don't blame Tracy because she honestly thought he already knew (and he should have been told sooner) but damn.

And having a meltdown like that? It hurt to see because that was me just a few months ago when my grandpa passed. I wanna hug him so bad.

Sprina: I hate that they must return to PC, but that's what the script demands. Hopefully this trip really solidified their relationship so that Portia and Esme can't fuck it up. (Or rather, any attempt falls flat.)

Also his heart eyes every time he looked at her!!!

Gregory and Alexis: unpopular opinion maybe, but I do enjoy wholesome friendships. And this is more wholesome than some of the friend groups on this show.

Charlotte: When the fuck did she even get close to Victor? I thought it was canon that she hated him for keeping her separated from Valentin? That she blamed him for her dad's "death"? When did the turn around happen? When did she start trusting him? (Is Helena's ghost or something possessing her through the cards? Weirder shit has happened.)

Valentin: I get that you as a father wanna protect your child, but you should at least tell Anna whats going on so Sonny's people won't accidentally hurt your child during her next vandalism session. Maybe get Charlotte therapy? And while I normally would never advocate for this, maybe search her room for things? Like a letter from your horrible sperm donor?

Gladys, Sonny: Im both glad and disappointed. Glad its out in the open and that Gladys knows she's been had and that Sasha will be okay.

However; Gladys was Sasha's guardian... Is that a moot point now? Will the judge just magically dissolve it after this? Who will take over for the interim if she must have one still?

Why can't Gladys stay and face justice for her crimes? She deserves to be sent to Pentonville or if you dont want tax payers giving her a life, he could have had her "taken for a permanent drive" instead of just back to Bridgeport. Like where's the scary mob boss people used to fear?

Sasha, Dante, Montague, Mac: Get him! Beat his ass! Take that syringe and get it tested!

Janice, you bitch, one single apology isnt enough, you best testify!

I want Montague to have a session with Sonny next. Except his had better be permanent. Or hell, turn off all the cameras and pretend not to notice anything at the holding cell and just let Cody beat him to death. Or use him for the horses to kick around when they get frustrated.

Sasha, baby you had better sue the fuck out of Ferncliff. You deserve to destroy them after everything they did to you. It's malpractice at best, a war crime against the Geneva Convention at worse. (Cruel and unusual punishments/torture)

#general hospital

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consul-valerius · 1 year

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Hold My Hand & Tell Me I Did Good (1/2)

She tells me I’m not in trouble, that I don’t have to be afraid, but she’s lying. It’s written all over her face: she does not trust me. She looks at me and sees my father’s face, hears his lies [...] She’s right, of course, but that doesn’t mean she’s a good person for being right all the damn time.

Rating: T+

W/C: 3390

Characters present: Damien, Donna, Imee (wow! what an intro for her this is!), Valerius & Nadia (with some references to Sam too lol)

Content warnings: references to abuse/childhood kidnapping; negative self-talk; general disturbing narration/ discussions of trauma + memory loss associated with the trauma; really shit psychology + depictions of hypnosis lol; Damien is Not Nice to Nadia

A/N: long time no fic lmfaoo I had the urge to explore more of when Damien initially first came home, and it's been a sec since I've written anything in the first person so thus.... this was born lol This chapter is is primarily exposition + usual family drama w/ more of Damien's personal insight/paranoia lmao

Mama and Papa have something planned for me. No, that’s not right. Countess Nadia has something planned for me, and she has convinced my parents into doing it. That’s all she’s done since I’ve gotten home: trick them into tricking me into doing some shoddy attempt at an interrogation. She tells me I’m not in trouble, that I don’t have to be afraid, but she’s lying.

It’s written all over her face: she does not trust me. She looks at me and sees my father’s face, hears his lies.

It’s annoying that she sees right through me, though. Is she not human? How could her first reaction to me being alive be to rule out if I somehow had something to do with my own disappearance? She’s right, of course, but that doesn’t mean she’s a good person for being right all the damn time.

“This won’t be long,” Papa lies, his attention focused out the window. He hates this as much as I hate it, but he isn’t allowed to show it. He’s never allowed to show that he disagrees with Nadia—not since the last time. Mama is holding my hand, their knee rubbing against Papa’s. Comforting both of her boys; it’s overwhelming how much they extend themself to calm us down. They deserve better than the two of us, and yet they’re stuck with us. It makes me so damn sad all the time. “We can have tea when we’re finished up here. Or perhaps you’d like to go to the Heart District?” Papa continues, his voice hopeful.

“The last time we did this, I couldn’t speak for three whole days.”

I’m being cruel, and I cannot stop myself. Mama’s hand tightens around mine.

“We won’t let it get that bad,” they say, their tone soft yet resolute. I can almost believe them—they are much better at lying than Papa. They believe their lies. “The moment you want out, we leave.”

“Is… Naima there?”

The last time she was there, I wanted to die. I still want to die just thinking of it.

“No. She’s with Julian at the clinic,” Papa interjects quickly, happy to give me some sort of good news. Mama smiles at him and then at me, hoping I return it. I don’t; I slump further into my seat.

“It’ll just be us and the Countess then?”

“Well… one more person will be there,” Mama finally admits; I knew they were hiding something. They’ve been on edge all day. “A family friend. You definitely don’t remember her—she only saw you at your baek-il.”

“Oh her! Of course, I remember her!” I finally smile, and I can feel the relief ooze off of them both. Mama nudges my side as I catch Papa rolling his eyes, still looking out the window with a smile on his face.

“So fresh,” Mama teases; I keep their hand on my lap, clinging to it and playing with their fingers. “Her name is Imelda. I’ve known her forever; she’s very doting.”

That isn’t that comforting. I don’t really like Mama’s friends. Or Papa’s either, for that matter. They’re all creeps.

“Why bring in someone new?” I ask, my tone still scathing even though I don’t want it to be. I’m so tired of making my parents sad, and yet that’s all I can really do these days. “I don’t have anything else to say. I’m not lying.”

“No one said you are lying, Damien.”

Papa sounds hurt saying it, and I want to cry. I didn’t say he thought I was lying.

“Then why are we doing this again?”

“Dia wants to ensure that—”

“The Countess has gotten all the information she will get from me!” I cut Mama off before they can defend that woman. Always defending her—it makes me so mad, I could spit. They have no idea how she looks at me, how she’s always looked at me. When they talk, I hear her voice. It drives me mad. “I don’t have any more to give her! Why won’t you just accept that what happened… is over? No one is coming back for me. I’ve taken care of it.”

I feel bitter, hot tears pooling already and I want to die even more now. Ever since I’ve come home, all I do is cry. It’s like I’m making up for the lost time. Papa makes a noise involuntarily—he’s an angry crier too. Mama is the only one managing to keep a brave face. This is life now, I guess. Her two boys stomping their feet and sobbing and pulling their hair out and spilling wine everywhere while Mama takes in deep, meditative breaths to calm themself down.

“Damien, I know how hard it is to not know the full picture,” they say as they gently coax me to at least look at their hands. They never make me look in their eyes—they never did, even when I was a child and everyone would scream at me to look at them properly. Mama and Papa never did though. I look at Mama’s hands and relax my shoulders and jaw. “I know that you don’t want them right now. I know that you think you don’t need them. But believe me, mijo, you will want them. Even if it’s scary and painful—you will want them. And it gets harder and harder to get them back the longer you wait.”

Gods damn them. How dare they pull the “I was dead and now I’m not” card on me. They are just as manipulative as Papa and Nadia combined. I love them so much, it makes me sick.

“But… I really don’t remember—”

“I know, mi vida, I know. But this will help you—it’s different than the last time. We’re going to try something new and a little wonky. You may hate it at first. I certainly hated it at first—”

“You’ve done it before?”

“Yes. With Tita Imelda, too. But it’s helpful—I think she can really help you.”

At this, I have no rebuttal. How can I refuse when they’ve done it already? A master manipulator. I flinch as Papa places a hand on my shoulder. Once I recognize his hand, I lean closer to him until he is resting his head on mine.

“You’re so brave, Damien,” he whispers, his tone wet. He’s crying a lot now. I realize I’m also crying. What a bunch of babies we are. “And after today, you won’t have to be this brave anymore.”

“It’s exhausting… I hate having to do this. I just… Want to be a family.”

Neither of them has anything else to say other than, “I know.”

I want to slap Nadia as soon as I see her. Mama and Papa have more or less gathered themselves; Papa’s eyes are less puffy, but it’s obvious Nadia can tell we’ve all been crying already. She is obviously sad to see this, but I can see that she is also annoyed at us too. Weak. We are a weak family, not like hers.

She instantly embraces Mama first—it’s clear who her favorite of the bunch is.

“Thank you all for coming,” she says in that stupid, relaxed, in-control voice. She embraces my father next; it is shorter than when she embraced my mother. “I have tea set up in the drawing room.”

She moves closer as if to hug me next, but when I only glare at her, she backs off. Instead, she places her hand between my shoulders and gently leads the way. I can smell lavender, jasmine, and honey on her. I hate that she always smells so good. I hate how comforting she can be.

“Thank you for having us,” I say very politely. “What experiment are you doing on me today?”

At this, she laughs because I didn’t use my mean voice, I used my sarcastic voice, and I know she likes it. It reminds her of my father, and most people enjoy that. They like it when we are sassy but not mean, cruel and petty to others but not to them.

“Not an experiment, no,” she replies as Mama and Papa trail behind us. They always get so quiet during these interrogations; neither wants to speak out against Nadia, but I can tell they want to. “I will allow our guest to explain our plans for the day.”

I am introduced to an ancient woman. Okay, not ancient, but she’s old, older than Nadia by at least ten years. Her skin is a dark sandy color, her nose is wide, and she has thick, pin-straight black hair. She has very kind eyes, though she also looks a bit wicked depending on how she angles her face. She reminds me a bit of my grandma—Papa’s eomma—though she looks a bit more fun than her.

“Look at that!” Her voice is very wheezy—a smoker. A lifetime smoker at that. My eyes are glued to the leather collar around her throat; it has pearl embellishments and lace on it, and dangling below her throat is definitely a vial of blood.

All of Mama’s friends are creeps.

“Please don’t say I look just like my father.” I say it without thinking, and I can tell without looking at him that Papa is mortified. Tita Imelda—I mean, this has to be her—only laughs at me. I didn’t think I was being funny, but it’s better that she laughs and does not get upset.

“And you sound like him too,” she sighs, moving with her walker to get closer to me. She has massive, cat-eye glasses on, her dark brown eyes cartoonish with them on. I hate that I am instantly endeared to this woman. I blame my grandmother. Old people make me cry—I want them to like me so damn bad. “Stars, you were a little potato the last time I saw you.”

“I’m a much bigger potato now.”

“Bigger than your mother, anyway.”

“Hey! Only a little bigger, you hag!” Mama finally steps in, though their voice is playful and full of love. Oh. Imelda is one of those friends. The two embrace and I can tell that Imelda is trying to will some sort of magic, old woman strength into Mama. I could use some of that, too.

“I take it your parents have told you who I am, then?”

“Tita Imelda?”

“Pssh, call me Imee!” Imee pinches my Mama’s hip, and Papa laughs at that. “So formal. Imelda. Bah!”

We all get situated at a table as a servant pours us all tea. It’s some sort of lavender tea—something to soothe my nerves, most likely. Nadia thinks of everything. The adults dictate the conversation for a little while. No one wants to start a bad conversation just yet. They want to enjoy each other’s company and ignore the severely damaged adult-sized child in the room. I can gather from the conversation that Imee is tied to Old Man Sam—judging by that collar, I assume he owns her or something. Thankfully that old fuck isn’t here for this. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if he was here. Creep. Imelda is much better than him. Still a creep, but a better creep.

“I suppose it’s time I begin my speech now, though.”

I am so lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t catch that the conversation has turned back to me. Damn it. Imee is looking at me very pointedly, and I gulp more tea.

“Yes?” I prod, tilting my head towards her. Maybe if I’m mean enough, she will want to go home. “On with it then.”

She only laughs, though. She is used to this behavior. Old people are great at dealing with my behavior.

“I’m not going to make any assumptions about what you know and don’t know about me,” she continues, knitting her hands together. Man, she has pretty hands for an old lady. “What I do know is that you’ve had it rough, kid. And when horrible things happen to someone, their body protects them.”

Why do I feel like crying?

“That’s what your head is doing—it’s protecting you. But you need help remembering—that’s why I’m here. You don’t need to protect yourself anymore. You’re safe with me—”

“Don’t spin this to make it seem like you’re helping me,” I bite back at her. Mama looks upset already; Papa looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and die. Nadia is stoic; she knows this verbal attack is meant for her. “You all want information so you can “catch the bad guys” who did this to me, so you can be the heroes of Vesuvia all over again.”

Imee only smiles sadly at me.

“That’s part of it, yes.” Thank the gods she isn’t lying to me. I would have walked out if she lied to me. “But I have no real business in the affairs of this little city—I can care less about the things that go bump in the night here. What I care about is helping you feel whole. Do you want that, Damien?”

Damn it. This old broad is good. No wonder Old Man Sam owns her. My tongue is getting heavy; I think I’m about to cry.

“No one… asks me if I want this. How the hell should I know what I want?”

“Well, I am.”

Don’t talk to me like it’s only us in the room. They can all hear me; they’re all watching me. Always.

“Why won’t anyone believe me?” I’m reaching a breaking point; I need to calm down. I am finally addressing Nadia properly. Her eyebrows twitch; she doesn’t like it when I confront her directly. “I told you that it’s taken care of. Do you want the bloody fucking details? Will that make you feel better if I tell you every little thing I did to get home?”

“Damien—!” I can’t tell what’s upset Papa more; the implication of my words, or the use of the word “fucking.”

“No, let him speak,” Nadia interjects, standing. That’s right. Come over here and face me.

“I don’t have any of those to give! I’m home! I fought my way home! There’s no way in hell those people will come back! I’ve taken care of it! I don’t need you, I saved myself!”

I know that Mama and Papa are crying. They can never hold it in when we talk about this. I know I’m being ugly right now, that the idea is ugly. They are probably picturing their sweet, precious little boy covered in blood, flesh and entrails dripping from his bared teeth.

“Damien, we cannot be so sure unless we have the entire picture.”

Nadia is so cruel. I know she has always been cruel, but I see it so clearly now. I really hate her now. I hate her so much.

“What if there is a detail you are missing? What if there are others out there who may want to come back?” She clamps her hand down on my shoulder before sinking down to get at eye level with me. Fuck you. Don’t fucking look at me. “Damien, I need to ensure your and my city’s safety. Do you understand that?”

“But I… I don’t have any missing details—”

“You say you cannot remember most of how you got home—”

“I don’t—”

“Those are missing details—” “That’s enough, Nadia!”

I am stunned to hear my Mama’s voice. By the looks of it, Nadia is too.

They are standing, their hair now a deep green color. Papa is staring off as if he is willing himself out of existence. I wish I could do the same.

“Damien needs to be relaxed for this to work,” they continue, their tone still so harsh. “It doesn’t matter the reasoning as to why Damien wants his memories back! He deserves to have the full picture when he is ready.”

“Donatello is right,” Imee adds, her tone calm. She gives Mama a look; Mama sits immediately. I can tell that Nadia has grown cold over the entire exchange. She squeezes my shoulder one final time before taking her seat again, not looking at anyone. “This will only work if Damien wishes to do it. Lofty ideas like the ‘greater good’ will get us nowhere.”

Nadia’s jaw is tense now, her teeth gnashed together. Good. Stay quiet. I look back to Imee, my heart pounding.

“What is this then? Why are you all talking in riddles?”

Imee sighs, rolling her shoulders. I hear a faint pop when she does.

“Hypnosis has many uses,” she finally explains, keeping my attention only on her. Her deep, husky voice is captivating. Must be a damn good hypnotist. Gods, I hate this all so much. Mama was right. “Some can be fun. Some can be serious. It all depends on the people and why they are doing it.”

“This sounds like bull shit.”

“It is a little bull shit, I need to admit,” Imee laughs, waving Papa’s worries away. I am being so rude and it is killing him. “But it also helps. Tell me, Damien, have you ever been so engrossed in something that time seems to just… slip away? All that you can focus on is what you’re doing and getting it done?”

“I… yeah. Sure.”

“That’s a little taste of hypnosis. We’re going to get you relaxed and your mind open so you can only focus on one specific memory. That’s all. We don’t even need to focus on the day you came home—it can be any memory.”

I know that pissed Nadia off. She doesn’t want any memory, she wants her answers her way.

“Is it… a spell?”

“The way that I practice, we use just a little bit of magic to help really open up your mind. Others don’t need it, they can just use an object and their words. But I’m clearly more special than other people.”

At this, I can’t help but giggle. Fuck her.

“So… what? You put me in some sort of trance and I just… talk?”

“Yes, exactly!”

The idea that I may speak without thinking fills me with an ice-cold fear. That doesn’t sound good at all. I feel a shiver run up my spine; I swipe at the back of my neck, feeling as if some sort of bug is crawling on my skin. When I look down at my gloved hand, nothing is there.

“Damien?”

“I… Will I have any control?”

“You always have control, yes,” Imee leans closer to me, offering her hands. I only look at them as I hold her. Her hands are so soft and so smooth. “Think of me as a guide. I will keep you grounded here during the session, and the moment you don’t want to do this anymore, I will pull you back.”

“How will I know? Like… Do I just say it and it ends?”

“Yes, exactly right. It will be a lot of talking, a lot of meditating, and a lot of focusing. The moment you’re done, we finish. You go home. You live your life. If you think it’s helpful, we can try it again. If you think, ‘To hell with this crazy broad!’ then that’s that!”

I smile at that, too. Is she a mind reader and a hypnotist?

“Believe me, you aren’t the only one to say that either.” She winks at me before giving my hands one final squeeze. She leans back in her seat, looking at me expectantly. I realize that everyone is looking at me, waiting for an answer.

Swallowing, I clench my fists. This can go so wrong so quickly. One wrong move, one simple misspoken word, and everything I have ever worked for will collapse right under my feet. More than that, I will upset them. I think I may faint just at the thought. I can already feel my skin peeling at the thought of failing them—what good is a doll if it is broken? If it doesn’t make its owner happy?

“Fine. I will do this just to be done with this.”

But I know that Nadia will not back down. If I don’t do this, she’ll think of some other inane idea to get me to talk. This is a test. This is a test, and I will pass this test. Like I always do.

#bottom writes #problem child damien #fan apprentice donna #consul valerius #the disaster family #nadia satrinava #OC: Imee #what a fucking gang this is #it is. very fun writing this bratty little edge lord LMAO #traumatized edge lords (my beloved)

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andydrysdalerogers · 2 years

Text

Love to Hate You ~ A Chris Evans Story - Chapter 7

Pairing: Chris Evans/OFC Angela Wagner

Summary: Angela Wagner has been best friends with Sebastian Stan for years. Meeting in Vienna and following each other around the world has formed a bond that couldn't be broken. No matter how much Sebastian's other best friend, Chris Evans, tries.

A cruel comment sets the stage, and the frenemies makes sure to let each other know how much they love to hate each other.

*** this story will have situations and scenes that are not suitable for younger readers. Smut, infidelity, degradation, dirty talk and foul language are your warnings.

Chapter 7 of 13 - Previous Chapters Here

Playlist available on Spotify.

Chapter 7 - Love the Way You Lie

The week at Chris’s was heaven. Angela and Chris stayed in, ordering food and staying in bed. They talked, finally getting to know one another.

Chris had Angela against his chest. He traced around her necklace. “I noticed the necklace.”

“Seb gave it to me for our anniversary.”

“Anniversary?”

“When he asked me to be lost with him. We were in Vienna. And we figured out that we were moving to America to the same place. That was over 20 years ago.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” Angela smiled softly. “I don’t know what would have happened to me if I didn’t have Sebastian.”

“Why does he call you Duck? And why do you call him… what’s the word?”

“Rață.” She laughed. “It means Duck in Romanian. While he was teaching me, I told him about how in London, a man will call a good girl friend Duck. He translated it for me, and we’ve been calling each other that ever since.”

Chris liked that Sebastian had taken care of Angela. That he was her rock especially with the loss of her father and having such a hard childhood. He kept asking questions. He wanted to know everything about her. “So, you’ve never been to an American sporting event?” Chris asked taking a bite of his pizza.

“No interest and no one to teach me. Sebastian is not into sports and others were all artists.” Angela shrugged. “We went to football games in England or in Vienna when my father was invited.” She looked away from Chris.

“Angie, what’s wrong?”

“I wish you could have met him.” Chris looked at her curiously. “My father. He would have liked you. Well, this you,” she waved.

Chris laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure he would have hated the way I treated you before.” Chris bit the inside of his cheek. "I never did apologize, did I?”

“No, but neither did I.” She looked at him and placed a hand on his cheek. “I’m sorry, Chris, for my actions and my words.”

Chris pulled her hand to his mouth, kissing her palm. “I’m sorry too. You are a beautiful woman, and my words would have hurt anyone, but I really didn’t want to hurt you.” He pulled her close to him for a kiss. “I’m sorry my Ice Queen.”

Angela angled herself to lay on his chest and sighed. “This is becoming my favorite place in the world.”

“Mine too.”

Angela was getting ready for a shoot when she got a message

P: We need to talk

She looked at her phone in disgust. It has been six months since she had seen Penn, only getting the occasional text message to check on her. She knew this was the opportunity to end it with him so she could move forward with Chris.

A: Yeah, I think so.

P: Can you meet me at the apartment at 8?

A: Sure

Angela moved to send another message

A: I just got a message from Penn.

C: really? What did he want?

A: To meet and talk

C: You going to end it?

A: absolutely. I’m done with him

C: Call me after? I’m still in NY for another day

A: Sure. Sebastian is still out of town so don’t have to whisper

C: Good luck my ice queen.

She finished up her day and headed home. She showered and changed and headed back to her old home. She figured she could get the last of her stuff while she was there. She had been slowly moving her stuff with Sebastian when he was home. She made it to Queens and climbed to her previous 4th floor walkup. She knocked on the door.

Penn answered. “You have a key, you know.”

“This doesn’t feel like my home anymore, so I was just being respectful. Can I come in?” Penn waved her in. “So how have you been?”

“Busy. Working and stuff.” Penn ran his hand through his hair. “How about you?”

“Same. Only had a couple of weeks off a few months ago but I’ve been working nonstop since.”

“Oh. Was that about the time you hooked up with Chris Evans?”

Angela felt like she was hit with a bus. “What?”

“I have a cousin that lives in the same town. Says he saw you with Chris, walking around, holding hands. I thought you hated the guy.”

“Penn…”

“Save it Angela.” Penn fumed. “Now I don’t feel so bad.”

“Feel bad about what?”

“I’ve been seeing Domino. For a few months now.” He smiled sadistically. “Actually, for about a year now.”

“What?” Angela could feel the tears start to come.

“Angela, you are so cold, so distant. You don’t let anyone but Sebastian in. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t hook up with him.” Penn spoke with venom. “I’ve tried but man, you just don’t satisfy me. Not in our relationship, not in the bedroom, nowhere. I’m amazed Evans can even tolerate you. You still seeing him?”

She nodded as the first tear fell. “I knew it. Well, let me let you in on a secret. He’s just using you. He’ll find a new plaything and leave you in the dust. And I won’t be here to pick up the pieces.”

“Why are you being so cruel?”

“Because I hate that you chose him of all people. I could be a little more understanding if it was Seb but no, you had to choose Captain Fucking America.” Penn looked around. “I see you’ve been taking your stuff; I’ll give you until the weekend to get the rest of it.”

Angela stood there, tears streaming down her face. She finally willed herself to move and headed to the door. She stopped. “Penn?”

“What?”

“Did you ever love me?”

He looked at her impassively. “Not really.”

“Ok.” She took a breath. “Keep the stuff. I took what I cared about already.” She closed the door. She headed out to the New York night. She walked and walked, losing track of time. It was her biggest fear coming to life. That she wasn’t good enough. That no one wanted her. She kept feeling her phone buzz but she ignored it. She made it to a coffee shop, unsure of where she was.

“Coffee dear?”

Angela looked up at the waitress. “Yes please.”

“You ok hun?”

“My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me. Told me I wasn’t good enough.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. Stay as long as you like. Do you have somewhere else to go?”

“My best friend’s. I just can’t go there yet.”

“Did you need me to call someone?”

“Probably Chris. He’s been calling, I think,” she mumbled, letting the words just tumble out.

“Take your time. I’ll be here.”

Angela sat on that booth, sipping cup after cup of coffee. The tears finally subsided but Angela was now numb. Even though she had fallen out of love with Penn, to hear him say that he never really loved her was the dagger in her heart. She heard the door of the diner open but she ignored it. She kept staring at the cup in front of her.

“Angie?”

She looked up to see Chris standing next to her. “Chris?”

He kneeled down next to her. “Baby? Are you ok? I’ve been calling and calling. I finally tracked your phone.”

Chris was there. She couldn’t believe it. She tuned and wrapped her arms around his neck as she started to cry again.

“Hey, hey, its ok.” He rubbed his hands over her back. “You’re ok. I’m here Angie, I’m here.” He let her cry herself out. He dropped some bills on the table and nodded to the waitress as he went out to hail a cab. He took her back to his hotel. She was quiet the entire time. He took off her clothes and placed one of his shirts over her. He pulled the covers over her and he pulled her close to him. “You can talk when you are ready ok? I’ll be right here.”

Angela snuggled into him and listened to his heartbeat. It lulled her to sleep.

Morning came and Angela felt herself alone in bed. She sat up and realized she was not at home but in a hotel. The door signaled and Chris walked in with coffees and donuts. “Morning, beautiful.”

“Hi.” She looked around. “How did we get here?”

Chris put the coffee down next to her. “I found you and brought you back here. Cream and three sugars, right?”

“Uh, yeah. How do you know that?”

“Watched you the morning after the first time. Made a mental note.” Chris smiled.

Angela took a sip. “Chris?” He hummed his response. “Are you just using me?”

Chris nearly spit out his coffee. “Where the hell is that coming from?”

“Penn. He knows about us. He said that you were just using me.” Angela looked down at her hands.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” When she refused to move, he got up and kneeled in front of her. “Look at me Angela.” She looked at him. “No, baby, I’m not.”

“Are you sure? Because Penn said…” she was cut off by a kiss.

“My queen, you are everything to me. Ignore what that motherfucker has said. I care a lot about you and I’m not using you.” He sat on the bed and pull her into his lap. “What else did he tell you?”

“That he never really loved me and that he’s been cheating on me for the last year with Domino Kirke.” Angela buried her head into Chris’s neck. “I knew something was going on and I ignored it. Oh, and Chris,” she pulled back, “what are we going to do about him knowing about us?”

“For now, nothing. I’m so sorry he put you through this. He doesn’t deserve you. You need to give time to let the breakup news hit and then we’ll announce us together. I have a premier in a few months. We can do it then.”

“Which premier?”

“Age of Ultron.”

“A Marvel premier? Are you sure?”

“Never been surer.” Chris kissed her gently, savoring her taste mixed with coffee. He took her head into his hands. “You are so beautiful my Angela,” he whispered against her lips. “Penn is an idiot to let you go but I’m so happy he did.”

“Chris,” she moaned as he moved down her neck and around her shoulders.

He pulled away to lift the shirt off of her. “Perfection my Angela.”

There were no nicknames this time, no roughness. Chris kissed everywhere he could, enjoying the sounds Angela made. She absorbed every kiss, feeling the passion that Chris was putting into it. He caressed her body, this body that belonged to him. “Are you mine Angela?”

“Yours Chris. Are you mine?”

He reached up to kiss her. “All yours Angela. He got in between her legs and slipped in. She arched her back as he thrusted into her, slow and passionate. He didn’t want to go faster or harder. He wanted to savor her, feel everything.

“Chris,” she cried with tears. She was feeling the passion in his kisses, in his moans as he made love to her. Yes, that’s what it was. Love. She knew she was in love with him.

They moved slowly, lost in the love they were feeling, still afraid to say the words. Chris could feel her tighten, closer to her peak. “Angela, let go.”

“Let go with me Chris,” she panted.

“Anything you want my Angela.” He sped up his movements and he felt himself starting to tighten. He reached down and gently swirled his fingers on her clit. That was all Angela needed.

“Chris,” she cried as she detonated around him. He thrusted again and released with a moan.

“Angela, fuck,” he gasped. He slowed his movements and took in her blissed out expression. He was gently getting up and cleaning her up. He pulled her into his chest, and he could feel that she had settled asleep in his arms.

Chris thought back to all the other women he had been with. None had been like her. His Angela. He pressed a kiss on her head. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so damm much. And I’ll tell the world soon that I found my queen.”

#Spotify #andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #chris evans smut #chris evans #chris evans x ofc #chris evans au #chris evans story #chris evans fic #chris evans fanfiction #marvel mcu #avengers #penn badgley #captain america

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soymemes · 2 years

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IN CASE I MAKE IT

lyrical starters from "in case i make it" by will wood (PART 1/3)

---tomcat disposables

"So, here's where I'll be raising my kids."

"I'll dream of the day my odds and ends fit."

"Life gets short."

"Do I belong in right and wrong?"

"Nature, I guess."

"So I run for cover."

"One hungry day is nothing."

"I'll make it through again, I have before."

"My dreams were finally reality."

"I expect no dreams."

"I held on so tight."

"Was that all there was to this?"

"What's for the best?"

"Meet me there after I'm gone."

"One dies alone."

---becoming the lastnames

"I've learned to pick my battles by losing most I've fought."

"I'll always do it my way."

"That's just the same way I was taught."

"Wow, can you believe we really made it?"

"I want to be just like my parents."

"I learned from a good father."

"Now I'd just like to lay down."

"Marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love."

"Love can last a pretty good long while."

"But what do I know 'bout forever?"

"If you want a hyphen last name, I guess I don't mind the cadence."

"I've made more mistakes than simple empty moments."

"I'd have forgotten all their names, so why should you remember me?"

"If we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone?"

---cicada days

"God knows crying ain't gonna change a thing."

"I take more than I bring."

"It just feels inhumane to lose this much."

"'Cause when you leave you know you takе more than your love."

"We're losing touch."

"LET ALL MY RED FLAGS FADE TO WHITE!"

"I GIVE UP!"

"Okay, I'll pack my stuff!"

"My God, what have I done?"

"Now it feels damn inhumane to get all I've dreamed of."

"You're worth it."

"Tommorrow's too late."

---euthanasia

"You fought tooth and nail."

"Say you're not scared."

"Say you know I love you."

"Hope was just not there."

"When you're gone, you're gone."

"I want to believe that you'll remember me when you're just memory..."

"Sorry I would take it back if I could."

" I want to believe that you can still hear me when you're just memory."

"It'll all be over soon."

"I'd never let a bad thing happen to you."

"Now goodnight I love you."

"Everybody dies."

"I know why we say that there's a better place that waits beyond the grave."

---falling up

"Would or could the impact kill me?"

“Shoot for the stars."

"You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed."

"Only plastic flowers never die."

"What do you know of control?"

"Cut ties, shed the dead weight."

"Is now really a good time for a new tattoo?"

"The larger they are the harder they tend to fall."

"Life looks awful small."

"Love us or hate us."

---falling up

"My dream girl, those eyes, that nose."

"They say 'Grow up, be a man'"

“Goodbye, cruel world”

"What’s wrong with me?"

"Dream girl, come and sweep me off my knees."

"I’d rather stay asleep than nеver see you wake up next to mе."

"You seemed fine just a few days ago."

“Never mind, you win!”

"Far too late came far too soon."

"Alright, that’s enough, let’s get you home."

---um, i mean, it's kind of a lot

"I'm afraid of leaving my house"

"I'm afraid of dying of cancer"

"I'm afraid of losing my mind"

"I've never been afraid of no one breaking my heart."

"I'm afraid of damn near everything."

"I've grown used to fear."

"I love you so much it scares me half to death."

"I'm not used to this, how did it happen?"

"I'm afraid that you'll change your mind."

"I'm afraid there's somebody better."

"I'm afraid you'll notice all my flaws. I'm afraid you already have."

"I'm afraid I'll come on too strong, hold you too tight, and scare you too."

"I never been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve."

"If you cut me, I'll bleed."

"Hold me at claw's length."

"I'm not used to fear of losing something I hold dear."

"I promise I'll shut up."

"Uhh, I mean, it's kind of a lot..."

-----

#will wood #lyrical starter #roleplay meme #rp meme #wwattw #in case i make it #icimi

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renticat · 2 months

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I wish but I can't because some people have no luck and yeah some people are just shitty anyway even the person who supposed to love you.

But again what's bare minimum? The standard are so diverse from one person to another

Well for me, bare minimum is like what you need to keep alive, food, clothes, book to write as a child and home without no constant yelling and beating but I guess is already too high and for some it was like the default set up.

This is funny okay I kinda mad because tumblr is not consistent on their font and I really picky on little things but the app is not better either so yeah I SHOULD just keep writing but you know my mind is not that great as it's always been on too much pressure since the beginning.

One one rainy day back then in 2015, I am about to get into my class which I don't remember what lol but I do remember vividly that I am using this white sweater because it's cold but I didn't know that it was gonna rain and I hate it cause it's white and gonna get so much dirt cause ofc it was raining. I cared too much and anxious bout it until my friend realized (well we're not that close but aren't everyone in your class automatically be your friend?)

Saying what happened? Aren't you putting your priority wrong, instead of worrying so much about your sweater you didn't worry about yourself, your body cause you can catch the cold but the sweater is just sweater. Damn, I can't process my thought at that moment cause I was too stunned too speak.

It was because since I was a kid I always raised to be fucking worry about small things, like breaking the glass it could get me so much trouble even when i was just 4yo which is very common but I never really have this kind of thought in my head (to care about myself) but worry about cleanliness bullshit all fucking things that ofc will break one day cause my father just love to be angry at me and calling me stupid and worthless.

Not hiding it anymore but I guess my brain was too fucking broken (and still is but I'm trying to learn better way to approach things and think about another positive point of view) but also it's so hard. It's hard and this friend who point out to me about my crazy worriedness and agitation about my sweater getting dirty instead of me catching the cold kinda open my eyes about the self love itself.aq

It was so fucking strange for people with childhood ptsd like me cause everytime i fell from the bike or my scooter they asked if the scooter is fucking okay and not me, instead they're so angry and saying how could you become so stupid and reckless. See you're truly a destroyer.

And my pain is not coming from why they didn't care about me but overthink about their words like yeah why am i fucking stupid and can't doing fucking things right.

Like this mentality they build up on me, it's cruel and like poison to my body but they wondering why i wanted to check out from this life very soon. I felt so unloved but i didn't have the words for it because i believe i can only got some love when i did sometimes remarkable which also not true because since I was a kid i was like top 3 students on the class (no I actually always be the first) but then they see it as just meh, like it was expected from me cause you don't work and only eat go to school ofc you should have good grade.

Fuck. That's when I remembered now my friend said if I were you my parents would give me anything I asked for. Like gifts. Wow. Like I only get dissatisfaction because they never vocal about love (or maybe they just not proud enough) but ALWAYS LOUD TO POINT OUT MY MISTAKE. the sadder things is they don't treat my sister this way. Because she is younger. Their words when she's only ONE YEAR FUCKING YOUNGER THAN ME. I kid you not. Since I was three ( I already have sharp memory probably because I am an 🐘 lol) I was always just playing with myself as they're busy with my sister and since i got in kindergarten they always saying me to protect her and be a good example when fuck you parents it's your job and she's not even that younger than me.

But I was craving for love and I did that, my best and that's shows from my mark in school also I was very religious even when I was just kid (as kid absorb nonsense quickly also they can't think for themselves just yet) I can read arabic when mostly my peers still struggle and even my sister hate to learn the hijaiyah (the arabic alphabet) and refuse to partake on studying that when I was already so good and can read Quran (cause you know it's step by step learning as they combine every letter and the shape changes) and yeah yada yada yada it's in the past.

I was always too mature for my age and I know I love childish things probably my revenge cause I can't do it those things back then cause I have to be the big sister. Big fucking sister and she even hates me because i guess she think I am being smart pants when if I didn't do that parents hates me for not showing her the fucking right way to life. Fuck.

I iron my uniform bu myself, for some people.is amazing like 4yo know how to do that washing, cleaning up the house, but for me it's just a burden and my sis is never get her hands dirty at all cause it's like only my chores. The resentment building up over years, also my curiosity never stops (thanks for encourage me to read even when I was 4 I was too early to know about rape but I read the newspaper and I understand the world, learning things everyday). It only makes me grow bitter and darker, it robs me joy being a child i told you, this so called truth of life i mean cause child they just read the things they told them to read but I already learn the translation of that (tafseer) and growing so religious to the point i never asked and just believe. Not until I got better in English and read many English books, fiction and non-fiction that now I know philosophy also not everyone is believing the same shit. I mean I aware back then not everyone is believing same things but mostly they're believing the things that handed down to then from their parents. Because if you don't you're the problem and rebel in the family and ofc I don't want that as I still long for love.

But the love is never come and so I got into dark deep shit about ending it all before all my own process thoughts is the one who set me free from all the chains they've been put on me before when I can't even say no cause it's just what everyone does here.

It's the best thing. For them. Not for me

And we can agree to disagree but look at the world rn. They choose war over peace because they cared so much to prove the truth when truth is we should love each everyone the same and trying for the best to help each other and nature so it won't fall apart and more broken day by day.

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joyjoyjoy · 4 months

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Another thought excerpt

For Christmas this year I spent it with my mom in a small town in northern Denmark. One of her university friends immigrated almost a decade ago and now lives there with her husband and two kids. I had met them before in a previous occasion when they came visit Montreal back in 2018.

I get to their place (I am still in their place currently as I write this) and I am shocked to see their daughter. I remembered her from their time in Montreal. She... I'm trying to find the adequate words to describe her. It made me feel something that I hadn't felt before. I'm attempting to preface this before blatantly saying it, but I don't know how. She has the most severe anorexia nervosa I've seen... ever. Maybe it's just because I have never seen it in real life, and the only exposure I've had to that kind of extreme eating disorder is Eugenia Cooney, but wow. _____ has such detrimental health that her appearance is daunting at first glance! It is so shocking to see someone so ill that up close. Everyone knows why they are that way. Everyone knows but just pretends we can't see it? Your brain, or my brain at least, couldn't compute how she was still alive.

I'm not trying to be mean and cruel by writing this piece while I'm still in her presence. I'm just trying to make sense of it. It confuses me so much how it can get to this point before anyone intervenes. Before anyone puts any real, tangible concern to the matter. Your daughter is dying before your eyes and you just stare? I saw her walk in and greet my mother and I jumped on the inside. I was baffled and couldn't reply to sentences because I-- because I could see the definition of every bone in her face. I could see her skull through her skin! She looked like those pictures of kids in Yemen in time of war, but we were/are in Denmark! Aalborg, Denmark! We go on with the night and I simply get over my initial shock. The girl is lovely, slightly immature, but just lovely. She has a naive kindness to her. I feel bad this happened to her somehow.

The father on the other hand... is a misogynist. The way he carries himself is so showing in Peruvian chauvinistic macho society. I handle myself accordingly because I don't have the means to return to Copenhagen and I love my mom too much. Later in life, I will have the means to do that I will when faced with the same scenario. He orders his wife around to serve him this, serve him that. She laughs it off as a joke, but then proceeds to oblige. He just did it again now! He says remarks like "women, amiright?" or "I believe men and women are equal, BUT". Bref, he hates women like a proud Latino man.

Today during breakfast he went on a little rant saying: "That's why I don't believe that whole agenda of women being poor little beings that are defenseless because [insert brainless rot]" This is what inspired this whole entry today. His daughter was sitting right across from him as these words came out of his mouth. Isn't that funny? His daughter is suffering from a disorder that disproportionally affects women because of their gender and he has the nerve to say such statements?

I dread the day that I have such shortsightedness and lack of holistic life view. I just wonder how sexism can make a person so stupid. I use the word stupid loosely because this man is very book-smart. He is an oncological surgeon, he can't be stupid, but he is.

He sits at breakfast and spews that women are not victims of a patriarchal society as his own blood is suffering one of the most vile repercussions of it! I found this scenario so particular.

In conclusion, I'm glad I have a smart single mom because I would despise and blow my brains out having a strong-willed ill-opinionated father to deal with.

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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

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survey #138

What was the last heavy thing you lifted? By MY unhealthy standards, a small toolbox. I rode with Mom to Nicole's house to fix her sink, and it's what Mom brought along and she needed help carrying things inside (we brought our dog with us, so she had to take her carrier).

Is July an important month for you? My sister Katie was born on the 4th actually, but generally, no. I honestly hate July, it's too fucking hot.

If someone looked inside your mind right now, what would they find? honestly right now they probably wouldn't know what the fuck they're looking at lmfao

Are you good at reading body language? I'm honestly probably hyper-observant of it, to where I see meanings that aren't actually there.

Do you have an anchor tattoo? Would you ever get one? No to both.

What is something that is creepy to you? Facebook/socials stalking people you like came to my mind, idk that's just going too far to me. Like sure if you meet someone you're interested in and want a bit more info, hell, it's probably even safe to check things out once, but digging for miles and checking obsessively just isn't healthy imo.

What do you need right now? I thought about it, but I don't wanna go here right now.

What do you consider to be cruel? Besides the extremely obvious things that basically everyone can agree on, trophy hunting. Like I immediately hate your fucking guts if you go out and murder a living creature going about its peaceful life JUST for the fun of it and to mount their dead heads on your walls and shit. Hunting for food doesn't bother me (like, that deer you killed almost ABSOLUTELY had a better life than the countless livestock forced into nightmarish existences that we accept as "normal"), but even then, I think it should be done solemnly and without gloating, and immense gratefulness for that animal's completely unwilling sacrifice.

Do you love to daydream? Yes, probably to a fault.

What’s your favorite shade of yellow? I'm really not a big fan of yellow, it's one of my least favorite colors, but I guess I'll go with amber, that I do like.

Has anyone told you to calm down recently? lol no, I think the people who know me know that it's not that fucking simple, and I would get legitimately pissed off if someone said this to me as someone with chronic, severe anxiety problems.

When did you last panic? I don't want to talk about this.

Are you currently tired? Yes. I got just about no fucking sleep last night and it really pisses me off because I was going to help Mom with the kids today, especially because Ryder gets really disappointed when I'm not there and I already wasn't last week, but there was no way in hell I was getting up early enough this morning. I just texted my mom at like, 2 AM or some shit telling her to let me sleep.

What helps you get by? My mom, Girt, Mazzy, Tez, Girt's family and to some extent mine, medication, therapy, creative expression, being stubborn.

When did you last wear a mask? It's been a few weeks, most places I go to now have stopped mandating it.

Does it hurt you when others are rude for no reason? Yes, because I'm sensitive as shit.

If you could say anything to your father right now, what would it be? WOW what timing, I just messaged him happy birthday lol but I'd love to tell him that in person.

What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? Probably around like, 75mph accidentally on the highway.

When did it last rain? Today; it's been going on and off. It was absolutely pouring earlier.

Have you ever been admitted to a hospital? Like 6 or so times, but never for physical issues, just mental. I woulda preferred the physical shit.

Has anyone blamed you for something you didn’t do? I don't know if she meant for it to come across as straight-up blame, but it absolutely did: in the message Sara sent me after I cut our friendship off, she decided it was a great idea to phrase herself VERY MUCH SO in a way that makes it sound like she blamed me for almost attempting suicide. Don't get me FUCKING started on this topic, I take exactly 0% fault for shit that she decides to do when it's not like I fucking bullied her or something, but I still think about it sometimes anyway.

How much is gasoline where you are? I haven't been paying attention, but a google search tells me the cheapest right now in my county is $3.27.

How are you doing today? Not great, but way more numb today than I've been the past few.

What is the last song you listened to in a car? It was "Zeig dich" by Rammstein. I'm surprised I remember, I generally don't when surveys ask this, lol.

Do you currently feel calm? No.

Are you good at making new friends? No, I'm too shy. It's easier online, but I still don't like reaching out.

Are there any important things happening this week? Sunday my sisters and I are having lunch with Dad and his wife for his birthday, and I also obviously have PT this week, and I think therapy (thank fucking god) too.

If comfortable answering, have you or would you ever be admitted into a mental hospital? Already said earlier that I have been, but the last part of this question is very inaccurate and misleading; involuntary commitment exists and has happened to me, like you don't GET to choose. You can get a lawyer to shorten your stay, but you're going to the mental hospital anyway.

What’s a color you think is underrated? Uh... I don't really know. OH, maybe green, like nature-y shades? I think green's a less popular color, but the shades that remind you of being outside, like mossy, seafoam, or forest greens, c'mon, they're fantastic.

Would you rather never be sick again or be rich? uh, BE RICH???????? Do you know how much good that would do?????????????

When did you last hear thunder? Today.

What all have you put in the trash today? Uh the lid that seals the top of the meal replacement shakes I drink, but the bottle itself went in the recycling bin, and I also put cans of the flavored water I drink in there.

Do you enjoy blueberry muffins? omg yes, I LOVE these.

What’s something you will never forget? The night of the breakup with Jason.

What’s the most bitter pill you’ve ever taken? Uh I'm just gonna take this literally, in which case I think Lamictal, a med I was on for a long time. It's a big pill and it regularly would hit the roof of my mouth, and on god when that shit happens, you want to DIE afterwards because of the taste it leaves.

What is a popular TV show or movie that you do not like? Years ago, Girt and I watched the original three Star Wars movies, and neither of us got the appeal like, at all. Whatsoever. Unrelated to my opinion of the films but do y'all know how SHOCKED I was to hear Yoda's voice for the first time like THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”? I don't share information like this man anyway literally yesterday

What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all? Shockingly, I don't like energy drinks; they're just way too sweet for me, and when a drink is too sweet for ME, that says something.

Would you have kids with the last person you kissed? Maybe someday, idk.

Would you mind living near large predatory animals? Yeah sure, idc. We live in an area where black bears exist, but they are VERY rare to see in this county.

What’s your biggest priority right now? Honestly I kinda think getting a job has officially outrun my attention to improving my mental health. Maybe. Idk. I'm just desperate.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? Well, because I was only ever in the ER overnight for suicidal reasons, my options were extremely limited; I was only sometimes allowed a book, and it had to be approved by the staff. Usually I just slept, or tried to anyway, because their beds are ABSOLUTE and utter shit. They really need to give you more options, like the most insane I've ever felt was during those long ER stays where I was just kept in this small room with nothing to do like some neglected animal. It does NOT help your mental state; it only ever made it worse.

Are your hands unsteady? Yeah, I have what's called essential tremors. I feel like they've improved, though, especially the less medicated I am.

Do you think you’re pretty? No. It's insane, I've always thought of myself as ugly, since literal childhood, but where I am now in life, I'd give anything to look like how I did as a teenager again.

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook? This was accidentally the case with Jason; I thought he was a different Jason that I actually did somewhat know. Y'know I never asked how he ever even found my name + account lol, according to him he just saw me in the school hall one day and was immediately like "yup I need to know her," lol wish you hadn't bro

Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad.

Who do you know that wears the most makeup? Probably my friend Summer, but I want to make it abundantly clear that this should not be seen as a bad thing. She's a very talented cosmetologist and makeup just makes her happy.

Have you ever been tied up? No.

Are you anyone’s first love? I don't know. I used to think that was the case with Sara, but to be honest, I don't think she really romantically loved me.

If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? By middle school, we had different teachers for each subject, so.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Girt.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? I'm certain Jason did and I'm pretty sure Girt has.

Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I prefer that boys/men do whatever the fuck they want with their own body, I literally have no opinion. People who treat body hair like it's disgusting and/or uncleanly are due to grow the fuck up.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? She knows I've done things, but what those "things" are I've never shared. She knows I'm a virgin + why.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? LMAO YES, Girt and I do this so much and were last night too.

Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? No.

When was the last time you went to an ice cream parlor? What kind of ice cream did you get? Oh wow you just unlocked a memory I forgot I had, it woulda been when I visited Sara, I think the last time. Her dad took us and I think her youngest brother to this local place that they love, despite it being fucking freezing lol, but it's never too cold for ice cream. I don't remember what I got, but they had a ginormous amount of options to mix together.

Did you go to school with anyone named Ashley? What was that person like? Well in high school my older sister Ashley was briefly there while I was, and back then she was very independent, studious, ambitious, but also very reclusive; she didn't leave her room a lot and when she did, it was usually to go somewhere. Back then she was also the kind that couldn't leave the house without makeup, and it always broke my heart, like my sister has always been gorgeous. Thankfully she's WAY past that now.

What color is the vehicle that you travel in most often? White.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? When was the last time you saw them? I have a shitload if you include my half-siblings, but I only regularly see Ashley's three kids. I saw them like... two weeks ago? I have a nephew by my brother that I haven't met yet, which sucks. Actually Katie also has a kid or maybe even two that I haven't met. Your family being strewn about all over the country fucking sucks.

Do you know the story of how your grandparents met? No, for neither pair of them.

Do you have a relative or close friend named Peter? When was the last time you saw that person? I actually don't think I know a single Peter.

Have you ever had an ex who wanted to get back together? What did you say to them? Well, I guess Girt. He said yes when I asked him back out, so he was obviously up for it.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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k1ngj0ve · 2 years

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Playing a game lets call it 'Cinder Sella Phenome', its an otome about people being cursed with 'reverse fairytail' curses. so our main character started out a princess but is turned into a begger

(that is not what cinderella is about but okay)

and the logic in t he game (as well as the opinion ive heard everyone have when talking about it) is that the main character is a villainess, is cruel and evil and that this curse will turn her into a better person and they are happy to see her grow

ive barely started it, im like 2 hours in, on chapter 3

and im full of so much impotent rage

in WHAT way is she a fucking villain?? because shes rude to the father that she consistantly says hates her? the father that recently murdered a fuckton of witches (when we are told that many witches are good)? the father that refuses to hug her after her mom died and left for several months alone afterwards?

this girl whos mother was abusive and controlling to the point that she convinced her everyone wants to kill and hurt her? who never let her leave the castle after she was 4?

because she wouldnt call her stepmon 'mother' even though she only married in a year ago and the mc is 18?

because he wouldnt lie to her stepsister and pretend to have left the castle to hang out with her when actually her father ordered her to do it?

the only proof anyone has that shes evil is that she fired a maid for damaging one of her dolls. wow! so evil! that doll was literally a witch in disguise and the mc is so isolated that she talks to the dolls and refers to them as her only friends!

like 5 characters have told her she needs to smile more because 'good people smile because it makes other people happy'. like literally one of the things that makes her a bad person is that she doesnt smile. that character literally says 'i dont owe people a smile' and they just brushed it off and said she should do ti anyways

like damn sorry this traumatized emotionally abused isolated depressed grieving and terrified girl doesnt smile for you, fucker, i guess that mustve ruined your fuckin day

they keep saying she doesnt have enough faith in people but people are literally constantly plotting in open air about how she should lose her title and her new stepsister should be the corwn princess because shes-- what? prettier? because she smiles more??

the 'good' witch literally ripped her family and name and title from her and dropped her shoeless in the road and everyone in town was nasty to her and wouldnt let her buy food because she looked too poor. she got chased down and injured so badly she was unconcious for days. couldnt eat even though she had money, couldnt walk because the witch took her shoes. after shes injured the witch puts her up in her hotel for cursed people and says 'you can stay here but you have to work to earn your keep' and threatens to throw her in the street again (specifying 'without shoes') in order to make her work. then enchants a broom to force her to clean whenever there is dirt on the floor.. of a MEDEVIL TAVERN.

shes been there for MONTHS at this point but people still refuse to tell her why everyone hates her so much, even though other people in the curse house have shown themselves ready to beat her the fuck up for NO REASON. she says 'i have only left the castle twice in my entire life, i dont know why they hate me'

absolutely sickening <3

and then it turns out i cant even romance the 2 male leads that were nice to me (though they BOTH said i should smile more....) until i romance 2 of the shitty assholes.

wild writing

people keep trigger warning this game because you have the OPTION to romance your step brother (again, they only married into the family 1 year ago its not a big deal and also he wants me dead and is purposely refusing to help me get my family back so there is no familiar feelings there) but no one is trigger warning the insane abuse from the mother or the way the entire game is 'you deserve all the pain and wounds and mocking and punishment you get because you arent a warm enough person after your mother manipulated you'

tw 'you CAN date your stepbrother' no tw for 'physical mental financial emotional abuse from parental figures AND the LIs AND the 'good witch' of the story'

#long post #she is not making money working 12 hour days in this tavern and working her hands until they bleed #and has repeatedly said that she doesnt knwo how she will have time to try to break this curse when she workss constantly #they specifically chose the cleaning job for her because they thought a princess sweeping floors was funny #maam you are 100% earning more money for them with the waitressing and errands and cleaning than room and board costs #this is just a slave labour racket. they curse people and take all their resources and then force them to work for fear of death #it also doesnt make sense lorewise so im forced to assume they are lying #this girl specified 'when my father saw me as a homeless stranger he looked at me more kindly than he ever did in my life as his daughter'#like DAMN then shes not IMAGINING it #you cant fucking tell me she sucks because shes not nice enough to her dad when it says THAT #this game does not give the impression of having a twist where the witch turns out to be evil later on #so this seems fully earnest and heinous #luckily it was free though #i am forced to keep playing because i need to see the MC be happy at the ending #otherwise i wont have closure

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