#〔 somewhere under the stars 〕–––– undetermined | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wh1msic4alwasab1 · 3 months

Text

𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ཐི❤︎ཋྀ

art cred: maichiatto62 (x)

☦︎synopsis: you get chased by a dark and undetermined figure in the woods, and run toward a dreadful castle that houses a seemingly kind man, will you stay awhile?

☦︎genre: smut w/plot

☦︎tags: vampiric hypnotism, mentions of blood, biting, corruption, dialogue heavy, degradation “whore” , loss of virginity, cunnalingus, creampie, mirror

☦︎wrd cnt: 2.2k

☦︎a/n: vampires and gothic literature is my favorite so this was a dream to write and I hope anyone reading enjoys!

Twigs and thistle snap under your feet as you walk through the fruit berring bushes, feeling the low laying leaves scratch your ankles.

You lost track of time and try to find your group, you probably should have skipped this hiking trip. Or at least wore shorts that covered your knees. The night drew upon your haggard form quite quickly, and the temperature dropped significantly.

You tried your best to find the light of the campfire you knew was there before you left.

After a few minutes of silent walking, besides your rummaging footsteps, you hear a loud thud somewhere behind you.

Your back straightened up like a rod, “Hello?” Your voice echos slightly, bouncing off the trees and up toward the stars. You prayed like hell it was one of your friends, coming to your salvation.

When nobody answered you after your third call out, you kept walking.

You heard another loud noise, as if a bolder dropped straight into a big pile of leaves, trembling the ground you stood on.

Frozen in fear, like a deer, you stand in the middle of a plot of dirt surrounded by the thick trees and shrub.

Your eyes open wide and your hands balled up in fists, you survey the area until you find the source of the sound.

A tree, wounded with a big chunk missing from the side.

It still stood tall, but reckoned to snap if it had been torn just a few more inches towards the unbent side.

You wondered who could have caused such destruction, or rather what.

You would find out soon enough, when you examine the tree to find streaks of blood scattered over earthen hide.

Following the trail you discovered the remains of some animal.

Well that’s what you think it was, it had been mangled and torn in such a brutal manner there was no way to identify exactly what it could have been.

As you tried your best to figure it out, a black shadow stalked you from afar.

Red orbs visible with stillness behind a tree, slowly growing larger in your view as it approached. The dimness of the atmosphere cloaked it well.

You stepped back, shoes muddied and heavy as you ran. You ran until you saw the nearest source of light, not bothered to look behind you to whatever was chasing.

Your labored breath became cold and dryed out your throat.

You ran and ran until you found a rather tall and lucrative looking building, somewhat of a mansion or moreso fitting of a castle.

Where the hell did that come from? You’ve never seen anything like it before in all the times you’d hiked in these woods.

You didn’t have much time to question it, but ran right to the door.

It was slightly crept open, so you figured it must have been some kind of open house or exhibit.

You rushed in, shutting the grand door.

As you caught your breath, you almost screamed when you heard a man’s voice right behind you. Who you somehow didn’t see when first stepping in, as if he’d appeared from thin air.

“Good evening.” The man said, burning candle in his hand.

You turned before he could even finish his greeting, a look of utter terror in your eyes.

“Are you well dear? You’re bleeding”

You didn’t even notice, but your knees had been scrapped and dripping blood halfway down your shins.

His eyes lit a shade of red barely able to be detected, or maybe it was just the reflection of the flame? You were quite scared and paranoid after all.

“Oh- I’m so sorry, The door was open and I didn’t know anyone was here- Someone was chasing me.”

“Oh my, are you alright? Come, let me offer you safety tonight.” He beckoned you to follow him, the rays of the small flame from the wax stick guiding you as he most graciously offered you a safe heaven in his home.

You looked around at the torchlit walls, it felt dark and cold throughout the entire place.

He walked you up 2 flight of stairs, his pace was quite constant throughout, almost like he was floating on each step.

You soon arrived into a hallway full of paintings adorning the walls, hand painted it seemed. So beautiful you had to point it out.

“You have a lovely home- is this artwork all yours?” You ask.

“Yes. I have quite a bit of spare time on my hands, so I much enjoy art.” He answered. The man’s voice was deep and mellow.

You walked down the red carpet hallway to the room all the way to the end, it seemed to be one of the many dozens.

There was a large canopy bed lined with dark lace and wooden upholstery.

“Please, spend the night here until morning. I wouldn’t want you to endanger yourself.”

Before you could even agree to his much eager assistance, he walked over to a box near the fireplace side table and pulled out several glass vials and bandages.

You walked toward him, and sat down per his instruction.

“Thank you- You’ve been so kind to me. Why?”

He chuckled, kneeling down to your level and applying an ointment to the cloth.

“Why? How ever could I turn away such a frightening young lady at my door. There are dangerous things in those woods.”

His tone sounded very concerned, but horrifyingly casual.

“What is your name Sir? If it’s okay to ask.”

“It’s perfectly okay. You can call me Blade.”

“Blade…Nice to meet you” What a strange name.

“Likewise. Now please, allow me.”

You nod, before he dabs a stinging oil to your knee. One by one.

He handles you well, gently.

His cold hands held your calves as he bandaged up your wounds.

He gets up from his knelt position, seeming even taller than he is when he stands from this view.

His long black hair was so dark it seemed blue, ends dipped in a color that resembled the shade of holly berries.

He sat down on the chair opposite of you, his face framed by the fireplaces glow behind him now.

“So tell me dear, what exactly happened?” His voice dripping in concern.

“I…really don’t know. I got lost hiking with my group and I tried to find them, but then I kept hearing weird noise in the forest and I thought it could be them looking for me. But-“

You stopped, reliving the sequence you just ran from.

He waited patiently for you to continue, his sculpture like face and rich eyes giving you their utmost attention.

“I saw blood, and a dead animal, I think a wolf or something could have done it. But there was a man- in the woods. It kept staring at me and getting close. So I ran for a while until I found your- castle?” You chuckle a little, the term house seemed beneath such a grand sanctuary.

“Maybe a werewolf?” The man said, giving you an amused chuckle. He waves his hand, “But anyways…That all sounds very frightening, I’m glad you found me.”

You nod, “As am I” you assure.

Whatever it was you are safe now y/n, very safe.” He took your hands into his own, giving them a positive squeeze with smiling eyes.

You nodded, but soon a hitch in your throat appeared and you felt like your stomach got kicked.

“I never told you my name.”

A smile appeared on his face, “Smart girl.”

His eyes glowed the same shade of sanguine you saw in the forest, chasing you. You could see two sharp teeth sticking past his upper lip, his smirk revealing to you his true identity.

You quickly get up, startled enough to drop the chair behind you and fall back onto the bed.

“Who are you-“ You scream, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as he stood slowly and walked toward you.

“I already told you that, didn’t I?.”

He cupped your face, making you look straight up at him.

“Please- don’t hurt me.” You plead, tears now falling from your eyes and staining your cheeks.

“Hurt you? I just tended to your wounds, why do you think I’ll harm you dear?” His voice sounds even lower at this point, and his eyes fiery.

You kick back your leg and retreat further back into the bed, almost yelling, “You’re a vampire-!”

“And your blood smells so deliciously decadent…I almost couldn’t resist tasting you a moment ago.” He crawls toward your frame, his large hands making deep prints into the mattress.

His eyes seemed to glow in a pattern, the color deepening snd glowing slowly as he got toward you.

Your body felt weak, as if magnetic to him. Almost willing to amuse him.

“What are- what are you doing to me-“

“I haven’t done a thing. I’m just increasing the magnitude of your emotions dear. Whatever you feel at this moment is your utmost desire spilling out every orafice in your body.”

You felt your mind whirl, your body get hotter with every inch he grew closer to you.

He soon wrapped his palms behind your back, seating you in his lap.

You felt an animalistic urge settle upon you, breathing even heavier than when you ran away from him earlier.

He grazed his hand up and down your legs, taking off your shoes and socks, rubbing the sore soles of your feet.

“You must get more comfortable my dear, you seem less tense, good.” He says, slowly pressing his lips to yours as you hold his shoulder.

His tongue found yours, warm in contrast to the rest of him; tangling itself in a waltz.

He nipped at your bottom lip and pricked it, tugging at it and licking the blood that drew from it with his tongue. “Virgin blood…You are truly magnificent.”

You felt your face heat up more than your body, his presence making you feel an insatiable hunger for lust.

“Blade- please…I feel-“

“Concupiscent? I can tell, y/n”, he said, his hand trailing up to your thigh and rubbing your heat through your shorts.

You roll your hips at his touch, a small mewl escaping you.

He picks you up and plops you down further back on the bed, your head hitting the pillow softly as his large frame hovers above your body.

“I can be very thorough in relieving your…lustful desires.”

“Please- yes…” You softly gasp, feeling his lips close to your neck before they kiss you.

Hungrily he rips your top apart, as if it were made of paper.

You quiver at his touch, fear set aside and now unrelentingly yearning for all of him.

“You need not worry…I will take, good, good care of you.”

You nod, watching him soon trail his lips down to your exposed chest.

He circles the tip of his tongue around your nipple, taking it entirely in his mouth to hear you moan out; the other in his hand, his hips grinding to meet your heat as he grinds into you through the fabrics keeping you apart.

“You are a marveling beauty.” He adds, his hands finding the hem of your shorts and pulling them right down, along with your panties.

He pulled back, holding your legs apart and examining every part of you, taking in the view of his next meal.

He watched you shyly try to look away, smirking when he saw how utterly messy your cunt was, glistening and dripping juices down to the sheets.

He didn’t waste much time after that, kissing your inner thigh before planting one on your clit.

He made the most deep, sinful noises as he lapped at your cunt, his eyes not breaking contact with yours as he inserts two long and slender fingers inside you.

He seemed to almost gain more pleasure from sucking on your clit than you did, almost.

You reacted like a beast in heat, legs trembling and hands gripping the sheets as your thighs pressed the sides of his face to pull him deeper into you.

You came faster than ever before. Blade sucked every drop out of you, wiping the corner of his mouth before grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.

He kissed you once more, not biting this time. Yet.

Without giving you time to recoup- he shed his clothing and slapped his cock on your folds, slipping it inbetween them to get it ready for you.

“I need to taste you dear…truly taste you.”

“M-my blood?” You ask, feeling even weaker and more lustful.

“Yes” he whispers close to your lips, “You will let me drink from you, won’t you, my little temptress?”

You nod- pulling him close to you as if you’d wither without him.

“You are such an eager woman. I quite like that.” He says, before pushing his entire length deep, deep inside you. You groan, eyebrows furrowed harshly as you experience such a reveling sensation.

“Fuck-“ He breathes, “You’re so tight…do you ache for me so deep? You’re sucking me in so much…such a naughty whore you are.”

He moved in and out slowly, making you feel every vein and along his shaft.

You could feel his breathe on your chest, and soon his teeth.

He sinked them into the top of your breast, sucking the blood out of you ferociously as he rutted inside you faster now, making you cry out as tears rolled down your face in pleasure.

“Ah- Blade!…”

“It will only hurt for a moment…I’ll fuck you so deeply you won’t dare to forget it.” He spouts, his mouth dripping with your blood before going back in to take more.

You quickly notice a mirror behind Blade, you haven’t noticed it before but he wasn’t in it of course. All your blurry vision could attest was your spread apart pussy, gaping with a thick hole as you watched yourself be torn apart in the most delicious way, blood dripping down to your nipple, soon to be licked up from Blade tongue, as your body moved with the rhythm of the bed; snapping out of your trance once you heard his suckling.

He whimpered and moaned as he drank, gripping your ass harder as he thrusted into you at a pace you could nearly pass out from.

So much of your cum created a ring around his cock, squelching noises filled the room and muffled the crackling of the wood in the fire.

His grasp on the fat of your ass deepened, possessiveness overwhelming him.

“You’re mine now. You don’t belong in those treacherous woods, you will stay right here.” He commanded, imaging all the ways he’d ruin your perfect pussy, wrapped around him so well he was convinced you were destined to take him, to be his and his only to fuck, eat, and fill.

In response to his hold, you clenched your walls around him tighter until you felt warm fluid rush into your womb, nodding to his wishes profusely as you release together in the romantically gothic room, your breath huffing as you came down from an intense high.

Blade on the other hand, well the stamina of a vampire is quite impressive.

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

#blade hsr #blade smut #hsr blade #blade x reader #blade honkai #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #honkai fanart #honkai x reader #hsr #hsr smut #vampire blade #vampire smut #vampire #vampiric #vampire fic #jo’s posts

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sequinsmile-x · 3 years

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28 and 45 fluff right now do it right now chop chop

Hi bestie!! I hope you like this.

Prompts are from this list

Fluff 28: "Can I stay here tonight?" & 45: "Take my hand. Trust me."

Words: 1k

Warnings: A bit of cursing.

She always kept a closer eye on him during cases to do with kids. She watched as he easily replaced the faces of dead children with that of his son, seeing Jack laying bloody and broken on the floor instead of the actual victims. Emily found herself doing the same more and more now they were together.

Their romantic relationship was still relatively new, built on a strong foundation of friendship. Days and nights spent at the Hotchner’s apartment that blurred into one. She helped Jack with his French homework that seemed to baffle his father. Aaron attempted to teach her to cook, saying she couldn’t spend the rest of her life eating take out for every meal. He’d asked her to dinner once, just the two of them, and she beamed at him when she realised he was asking her on a date.

Aaron had pressed his lips to her cheek outside of her apartment door when he dropped her home, and as he pulled away Emily grabbed the lapels of his coat and pulled him back to her, kissing him fiercely and properly, only stopping when her neighbour loudly cleared his throat at them an undetermined amount of time later. Aaron had stepped away from her like she had burnt him, and she blushed as she let them both into her apartment, both of them laughing as the door closed behind them. She kissed him again and dragged him up the stairs to her bedroom, her laughter echoing around them.

They went for breakfast the following morning, both with poorly hidden marks on their necks, smiling at each other as they shared a stack of pancakes.

Two months later Emily sat in her hotel room, worried about her boyfriend. He’d found the body of their third victim that day, an 8 year old boy who looked a little bit too much like his own son. Emily was considering going to his room, thinking of breaking their one cardinal rule, when she hears a slight knock on her door. She opens it quickly, knowing it could only be Aaron and lets him in.

He pulls her into his arms before the door is fully closed behind him, his face buried in her hair. Emily holds him just as tightly, her hand stroking up and down his back.

“It’s ok, honey.” She whispers, kissing his throat where her face was pressed. “Jack’s ok. He’s at home safe with Jessica.”

He smiles into the top of her head, squeezing her tighter to him. “Can I stay here tonight?”

Whatever she had thought he was going to say it wasn’t that. She pulls back enough to look at him, a confused look on her face.

“Aaron-”

“I know we said not on cases.” He says, kissing her gently. “I just...don’t want to be alone.”

Emily smiles sadly at him and cups his cheek. She knew how hard this was for him, how much he sometimes struggled to let his guard down enough to let her in like this, so any admission like that stole away any argument she had.

“Ok.” She says, kissing him. She rests her forehead against his and strokes his cheek with her thumb. “I want to take you somewhere first though.”

It’s his turn to look confused, an eyebrow quirked at her. “Em, baby, it’s freezing outside.”

“Well we’ll go get your coat before we leave then.” She says as if it is the easiest thing in the world. She pulls away from him completely and shrugs her coat over her pajamas, made up of a sweater and a pair of sweatpants. She pulls her scarf on too, smiling at him as he still looks at her confused.

“Take my hand.” She says, holding her hand out to him. He stares at her for a moment, his fingers twitching at his side. She rolls her eyes at him, thrusting her hand a little harder towards him. “Just trust me.”

He takes her hand, and Emily knows he would follow her anywhere.

(And she would follow him.)

__________________

Their hands are clasped and in the pocket of his coat as she leads them away from where they were staying, away from the team and all the case files containing photos of the awful crimes they were investigating.

They speak about everything and nothing, and he pulls her closer to him when she shivers in the freezing night air. Once they’ve been walking for about ten minutes they make it to a park and she spots a bench, leading him over to it. They sit, pressed closely together to share their body heat against the chilly air.

“I saw this place earlier when we drove through town.” She explains, leaning into his side. “It seemed like it would be peaceful.” She looks up at him and kisses him, his lips cold against hers. “I thought you could use a break.”

He smiles against her kiss. “Thank you.” He looks up at the sky and can see the stars, bright in a way he never saw them back home. “It’s nice here. Peaceful.” She shivers against him and he laughs. “Fucking freezing though.”

Emily laughs before turning to look at him properly, her hand guiding his face so he was looking directly at her. She raises an eyebrow at him. “Well, we should find a way to warm up.”

She is kissing him before he can tell her it’s a bad idea, and just like whenever they were together they lose track of time, lost in the feel of each other, right up until someone identifying themselves as a police officer on the other side of the park yells at them, a vague warning about public indecency thrown their way.

They laugh all the way back to her hotel room and warm each other up under the sheets.

The following morning they both avoid looking at each other when a cop in the precinct break room tells his colleagues about a couple he found going at it in the park the night before.

#hotchniss #hotchniss mini fics #hotchniss prompt #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #aaron x emily #hurt comfort #fluff #just them being adorable #also full disclosure #i am currently operating on a very small amount of sleep #so i really hope this makes sense

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itsapapisongo · 3 years

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JAVIIIII I NEED SPIDER-MAN!HAN JISUNG🤧 y te quiero mucho 💕

Ana, my dear, yo también te quiero.

As requested: one order of Spidey!Jisung with a side of [REDACTED].

I guess you'll have to find out.

Starring: Han Jisung ft. BTOB's Lee Minhyuk

Genre: Superhero

Word Count: 1.1K

Warnings: None

A SPIDER—NO bigger than a 10 won coin—slowly spun a web above the room's only window. From there, it could perfectly see the mess that was Han Jisung's small flat, which, by all means, was a modest if claustrophobic habitat. Jisung's uncle, God rest his soul, would call it spartan due to only having enough space for a bed, a desk, and a three drawer dresser.

The desk was cluttered with Post-It notes, newspaper clippings, an opened and often used first-aid kit. Here and there, empty cans of energy drink were slowly but surely being collected. A police scanner, which was never turned off, seemed to be the only item that lacked any dust or sign of neglect.

Faint and routine chatter echoed from it until—

“All units be advised,” squawked the police scanner. “We’ve got a 1349 in progress. Location: Sang Sum Bank.”

Jisung sat straight up in bed. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, most of him alert and ready to jump into the fray. Without looking, mostly out of instinct, he stood up, stretched, and began looking for his suit.

Though he was on Hero Mode, part of him was still not entirely there; he was still sleepy. He noticed when he tried to clasp his left web-shooter on his right hand instead of his left. Heaving a sigh and cracking his neck, he fixed and reached for his mask. For a second, he didn’t put it on and simply stared at it. Something akin to weariness weighed down on him.

“All units stand by,” said an officer, shaking Jisung from his revere. “We got hostages on the scene.”

He put on the mask. Any feeling of exhaustion or hesitation dissipated. It was time to do the right thing. Time to be responsible. Jisung gave his small apartment a cursory look, noticed a past due notice that had been slipped under his door and thought about picking it up.

Han Jisung—the Sensational Spider-Man—weighed his priorities. Pay the bills or save the day? If he couldn’t do one, he definitely couldn’t do the other. Damned if he did, damned if he didn’t. He looked between the envelope on the ground and the scanner on his cluttered desk.

Later, he thought. A second later, he was leaping out the window.

Spider-Man flicked his wrist and shot out a web, chuckling as he did so. He loved the feeling of swinging across the city, of being weightless, of being fast, of being free. There was something about hurling himself into something—something that mattered—that electrified every fiber in his being.

In that moment, Han Jisung felt alive.

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

ALRIGHT, PEOPLE. LET’S do this one more time.

His name is Han Jisung.

He was bitten by a radioactive spider.

And for the last two years, he’s been the one and only Spider-Man.

You know the rest.

He has saved the city, fallen in love, been rejected. Saved the city some more. Got beaten and dragged in between. And yet—after all he’s been through, after all the pain and the heartbreak and balancing out his civilian life with his alter-ego—he hasn’t once thought about quitting.

Because no matter what’s thrown his way, no matter how many times he’s beaten down, Han Jisung—the Sensational Spider-Man—will stop at nothing to do the right thing.

Because with great power . . .

Well, you know how it goes.

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

SANG SUM BANK was located in a rather busy intersection, surrounded by tall buildings, restaurants and fancy clothing stores. Outside of the banking institution, about seven squad cars were parked up front.

The police had kept their distance because (1) they knew that the bank robbers had hostages inside and (2) they specifics of how dangerous these criminal were was still undetermined. The police wasn’t about to risk it and put anyone in danger.

Another factor that had made them keep their distance was that, ever since they arrived on the scene, there had been talk of a bomb. And that, whether true or not, was something they couldn’t and wouldn’t take lightly.

Spider-Man swung high-above, and saw how most of the police on the ground had remained relatively composed. He gave the perimeter a good loon then honed in on someone.

Standing on his own, talking on his phone by a squad car, was the person that called him a minute after he’d sped out of his apartment and onto the streets. Lieutenant Lee Minhyuk held a cup of coffee in one hand and held his phone with the other. Though he exuded aloofness, Minhyuk was often attentive and a one hell of a cop.

Cooler heads prevailed, he thought as he landed on top of the squad car. Perhaps in another life, in another world, Minhyuk would have yelped and dropped his coffee. But this was the only life, the only world, Jisung knew. So he wasn’t surprised when Minhyuk glanced over his shoulder, raised an eyebrow, and titled his head as if to say ‘really?’.

He’s got one cool head, alright, Jisung mused, smiling beneath his mask.

“I’ll have to call you back—yeah, I know, I’m on top of it—yah—I said I’d call you back,” said Minhyuk, rolling his eyes, gesturing at Spider-Man to give him a moment. He nodded, mumbled and hung up. When he turned to his friendly neighborhood arachnid-themed friend, he offered a half-smile. “You certainly took your time.”

Spidey shrugged. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Sure,” the lieutenant replied, doing his best not to roll his eyes. “Let’s get you up to speed, shall we?”

“Right. Up to speed.” Spider-Man sat on the hood of the squad car, eyes on the bank. Then, to himself, he muttered, “I am speed.”

Minhyuk cleared his throat.

Spidey nervously snorted then cleared his throat. “Right. No shenanigans.”

“So the Enforcers are inside but we don’t know what they’re playing at now.”

“Meaning?” Spider-Man turned, facing his friend in the force.

“Meaning that it’s not the same roster we’re used to. These guys don’t care much for casualties. At least the Enforcers we know have standards.”

“And here I was thinking that we had upstanding criminals,” said Spidey, crossing his arms and shaking his head. He cracked his knuckles. “Alright, boss, let me at ‘em.”

“They’re all yours,” Minhyuk conceded with a nod. “Just make sure no one’s in danger.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Han Jisung feared failing not only himself and Minhyuk, but the civilians inside the bank. And yet, as daunting as that thought was, he, the one and only Spider-Man, knew what he had to do and knew he was able to do it right. Because the only thing standing between chaos and the city he loved so much was himself. And that was a responsibility he didn’t nor would ever take lightly.

Spider-Man stood to his full height, his pose statuesque, heroic. He raised his right hand, aimed, shot out a web, and swung into action. Minhyuk saw him go with a small smile on his face.

Certain Spider-Man wouldn’t disappoint, the lieutenant sipped from his coffee.

🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸

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yeojaa · 3 years

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( TEASER / holidating. )

In life, there are certain things that go together, two parts that make up a whole. The sun in the sky, grandmothers and cheek kisses, chocolate when you’re sad—and you and Jeon Jungkook. Best friends since childhood, there’s never been one without the other. You’ve always existed this way, caught in each other’s orbit. Parallel lines that run side by side.

But what happens when those lines finally collide?

(or: how to lose a best friend in ten days.)

pairing. best friend!jjk x f!reader.

genre + rating. this teaser is general but the full fic won’t be (wink wink). entirely made up of cracky, silly, and somewhat infuriating fluff.

tags / warnings. idiot best friends being idiots and a dumb amount of cuteness. the final will have further tags added.

wc. 0.9k for this teaser. undetermined full story.

beta reader(s). @hobi-gif because she be my gurl.

author note. this is part of the rockin’ around the christmas tropes collab with the most wonderful group of women @underthejoon @ladyartemesia @ppersonna @untaemedqueen @xjoonchildx and @snackhobi. i am so excited for you guys to read the amazing works that are going to be coming out. please support these lovelies! ✨💗

— coming 23/12/20 !

Jeon Jungkook is four bites into his steak when he almost chokes, the half-chewed slice getting caught somewhere in the back of his throat, threatening to send him to a far too early grave. He’s three delirious gulps of water deep when he asks you to repeat what you’ve just said, staring at you with the biggest roundest eyes anyone’s ever seen, shining like a beacon in the night, a solar flare that eclipses everything else around it. He’s silent for a total of five seconds - or so he thinks - before he’s laughing, scoffing so loudly it disrupts Eevee, your lazy Maine Coon, and sends her bolting from her spot by his feet.

“You’re kidding me.” Because he can’t even begin to fathom what you’ve said, make sense of the ludicrous suggestion you’ve made.

This, coming from the guy who has been your best friend for the last seventeen years. Who has known you for almost two decades and who, by sheer idiot osmosis, has been privy to every harebrained scheme you’ve even come up. Who has, often against his will, suffered through all your crazy 4 a.m. suggestions, nodded along half-asleep as you’d prattled on and on about things that hardly made sense in the light of day but fared even worse beneath a blanket of sleep.

(And you’d had a lot of bad ideas. From your absurd fried chicken restaurant - where you’d use vacuum tubes to send food to people’s tables - to your non-whiteboard whiteboard desk - made for the everyday office person - he’d seen it all. Talked you off ledges and rebuked your half-hearted request for him to be your angel investor.

“Isn’t this what friends do?” You’d said, implored, just two weeks ago over another dinner, with that same absurd stare of yours, the one that Jungkook’s known for most of his life, that makes everything just a little harder to say no to.

“Invest in shitty ideas?” So maybe some of your ideas aren’t that bad. Maybe, just maybe, they’re actually sort of inventive. Out there, certainly, but innovative, plucked from the mind of you and only you.

Still, he likes giving you a hard time. It’s sort of his thing.

“Definitely not.”

You’d kicked him under the table, pouted at him and then continued your rambling, completely unfazed by the fact that he was not, in fact, going to shell out a part of his trust fund to bring your whacky idea to life.)

Because you know him so well - could read him like a book, recognise his voice in a crowd of thousands, find his smile like a star in the night sky - you take his disbelief in stride. Treat it like it’s nothing you’re not used to which, well, you aren’t. Continue to stack French fries onto the tines of your fork, twirling the utensil before depositing the too-big bite into your mouth.

“What’s to kid about? It’s a good idea.”

Whether it is or isn’t is up for Jungkook to decide. He can’t entertain it at all, just the mere thought of it existing too far out of the realm of possibility. “We’re not— What’d you call it?”

“Holidating,” you state, so matter of fact he wants to roll his eyes. Actually does when you set your fork down, lay it neatly beside your plate and level him with that stare. The one that reads like a big red warning sign, that might as well have neon lighting it up by how he shrinks away. He knows that look. He knows you’re not backing down, somehow fired up and ready to go in the minute that’s passed.

Still, he’ll try. Play off your suggestion and scoff just that much harder. “We’re not holidating, ____.”

“Why not?” You’re exasperated, two hands landing on the countertop with gusto. It’s as endearing as it is childish, making him laugh again, roll his eyes until the sclera is all you can see. (You’d told him once that his eyes would get stuck like that if he did it too much. Cue the prank when he’d worn white contacts and nearly given you a heart attack at the tender age of thirteen.)

“Because I don’t have time for dating, let alone—” Jungkook feels idiotic when he says the words, wrapping them in airquotes that have you glowering. “‘Holidating’ or whatever.”

“That’s the point!” You’re waving those same two hands - you’ve always talked with them, emotive and dramatic like in a soap opera star - as if that might lend some validity to your statement. “You don’t have time to date. I just got out of a relationship.” Sure, they’re facts but they mean nothing to him as you continue to ramble on. “Neither of us can or even want to put in the effort for a relationship but like, who wants to spend the holidays alone?”

(You have a point. There’s nothing quite like attending his extended family’s annual Christmas dinner by himself. It garners too many of the same questions, offered by distant relatives that mean well but otherwise drive him insane.)

(He’s not about to tell you that, though. Hard time, and all that.)

“It’s not that bad,” he says, lying through those slightly too-big, slightly buck-toothed teeth of his. Why he bothers, he isn’t sure. You catch him immediately, a loud a-ha! snapping past your lips when he glances to the side, completely unconsciously.

(You’ve known his tell since he was in high school. Since that first time you’d caught on when he’d borrowed - and subsequently broken - your camera, you’ve known. You call him out on it too. Every. single. time.)

“You’re telling me you want to have your grandma ask you when you’re going to give her grandkids for the umpteenth time? Seriously?”

“It’s not that bad,” he repeats, a broken record that can’t be fixed, whose cat-scratched eeeeeee gives him away.

He’s bluffing. He knows it. You know it.

Looks like you’re holidating.

tag list. @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @codeinebelle @jeonmisha

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musette22 · 3 years

Note

minnie, do you think seb decorates his apartment with Christmas stuff? and if he does, does chris help him?*-*

Whoaaa, you guys are in my brain!! It just so happens that last night’s falling asleep Evanstan fantasy was basically about this lol. I was going to keep this short but as usual I failed, so I‘m going to put most of it under the keep reading tag, so I won’t clog up everyone’s dash.

So, imagine that at an undetermined point in time, in early December, Chris happens to be in New York, and he calls Sebastian to see if he has time to go for a coffee or grab a bite to eat. They haven’t seen each other in a while, and Chris- well, he misses Sebastian. Seb immediately agrees, telling Chris that he didn’t really have any plans today anyway, except for getting a Christmas tree, but that can wait. But Chris, since he’s somewhat of a Christmas fanatic, enthusiastically tells Sebastian that they can still do that, they can go get Seb a tree, he’ll just come with him! Sebastian laughs and goes, “Well, if you’re sure...” and gives Chris the address of a vendor near his apartment, telling him to meet him there in thirty minutes.

Sebastian is already there when Chris arrives, and they greet each other with a hug.

“I like your coat,” Sebastian smiles, gently tugging on the lapels of Chris’s navy winter coat.

“Oh thanks, I like your hat. It looks- cute,” Chris blurts out, and then bites his tongue, because cute?

Sebastian just laughs in that way that makes his nose crinkle, and mischievously asks, “Cute, huh?”

“Yeah, well, it is, it’s a nice hat, with the.. the cable knit...” Chris splutters, hoping Sebastian will blame his blush on the cold.

When they’re done flirting-but-pretending-their-not-flirting, they go to pick out a tree. Chris interrogates the vendor about whether or not the type of tree Sebastian likes sheds a lot, and Sebastian looks on with amusement, eventually interrupting with a gently hand on Chris’s upper arm. When Sebastian pays for his tree, the vendor asks him if they need it to be delivered, or if “you and your partner can handle it yourselves?”

Sebastian’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say, “Oh, we’re n-”, but Chris interrupts with a “We’ve got it, but thank you,” giving the man a smile.

The look Sebastian shoots him is slightly surprised but not offended, thank god, and he doesn’t say anything. When they set off towards Sebastian’s place, Chris insists on carrying the heavier end of the tree, which makes Sebastian joke, “Oh, you think you’re so much stronger than me, huh?” Chris chokes on thin air and almost falls over himself to ensure Sebastian that’s not the case, he didn’t mean that Seb couldn’t...! - but Seb just laughs and goes, “Relax, Chris. I’m just messing with you. Thanks for helping me with this.”

It’s a good thing they’re both wearing gloves, and that Seb’s apartment is just a few blocks away, because the tree might be pretty, but it’s also prickly and a lot heavier than is looks. Chris heaves a sigh of relief once they get it inside Sebastian’s apartment building, into the lifts, and finally into Sebastian’s home. They find a nice spot for the tree, near the window, and then they take off their hats and scarves and coats, Chris plopping down on Sebastian’s chair while Seb goes into the kitchen to fetch them something to drink. He tells Chris he’s got mulled wine if he wants some, which he got especially for the occasion. When Chris frowns and asks him if he was going to drink it by himself, Sebastian confesses he’d been planning on getting his tree and decorating it with his friend Deirdre, but that he’d cancelled their plans when Chris called. Chris immediately starts apologizing for interfering with Sebastian’s plans, but Seb assures him it’s fine, he’d seen Deirdre just last week.

“I just... thought it would be nice to spend some time with you, you know?” Sebastian says, turning away from Chris to fidget with a pillow, fluffing it up and putting it back on his blue armchair. Chris thinks he Sebastian might be blush a little, but he can’t be sure.

“I could’ve just joined you and Deirdre, though, “ Chris insists. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“Yeah, I know, but... I kinda wanted it to be just the two of us.” This time, Sebastian shoots him a small smile, almost embarrassed.

“Oh,” Chris says, his heart skipping several beats in his chest. “That’s... yeah. It is nice.”

They smile at each other bashfully, and then Sebastian quickly goes to get them their drinks and puts on some old-timey Christmas songs. He already took out his box of Christmas decorations earlier that morning, and for the next half hour, the two of them busy themselves decorating the tree with all kinds of shiny gold and red baubles, sparkling tinsel, and a gold star on the top. There’s even a Captain America ornament, painted red white and blue like the shield, which a fan once gave to Sebastian at a con. Chris feels strangely pleased when he sees it and takes it upon himself to hang the ornament in the tree, giving it a place of honor at the front, near the top. When he turns around, he finds Sebastian looking at him with a strange look on his face. From where Chris is standing, his eyes look almost a little glossy.

“Hey, you okay?” Chris asks, concerned.

Sebastian nods, swallows. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just...” He hesitates, before taking a breath and finishing, “It’s just really good to see you again.”

Oh, Chris thinks, almost melting into a puddle right there and then. “I know,” he breathes, unconsciously taking a step closer. “I- I’ve missed you.”

“Me too,” Sebastian says, too quickly.

Chris doesn’t let himself think about it too hard when he opens his arms and says, “C’mere,” beckoning Sebastian closer.

Sebastian comes immediately, fitting himself against Chris’s chest and winding his arms around his waist, face buried in his shoulder. They stand there like that for a long time, much longer than a hug between friends usually lasts for, but Chris can’t bring himself to pull away. When the music changes and Sinatra’s ‘White Christmas’ starts to play, Chris gently begins to rock them back and forth, until they’re swaying, almost dancing, still wrapped up in each other while the gentle notes drift through the air like snowflakes, all around them.

Finally, Sebastian stirs, slowly lifting his head from Chris’s chest to meet his eyes, and Chris’s heart swells in his chest when he sees his own feelings, feelings he’s been trying to suppress for too long now, reflected back at him. They look at each other silently for a minute, saying without words what they should’ve said years ago.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Chris murmurs finally, already starting to lean in.

Sebastian’s breathy “Please” gets lost somewhere between his lips and Chris’s lips, in the kiss they’ve both dreamed about too many times to count, but which surpasses anything they could’ve imagined.

🎄💖🎄💖🎄💖

#I don't even know what this isssss but I hope it makes you feel soft and warm #evanstan #rpf #minnie answers #Anonymous

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imaginepirates · 4 years

Text

Modern! Jack

Another modern au where Jack stumbles upon your house in the woods. This is an outdoorsy one for everyone who loves Jack being Jack. You try to convince Jack that the mountains are just as beautiful as the sea. (Poll: which do you like better?)

@emdrabbles @tesserphantom @paljonkaikenlaista @viper-official

~3000 words

~~~~~~~

The wind whispered through the trees, the light dappling through the leaves to fall across the ground in mesmerizing patterns. You stood under them, watching the movement in the undergrowth. Mice scuttled through the bushes, insects skittered across the ground, and a thrush took flight from its place in the grasses. You walked along a path that led away from your small home and out into the woods. You lived in a secluded area, away from the hustle and bustle of city life. It was nice, out in nature. It was relaxing, and your walks always took you somewhere new.

You stepped off the path, letting your feet lead you. You knew the area well enough that you wouldn’t get lost. You made your way to a small brook, using the stones jutting out from the water as a pathway across. The stream burbled up at you as you crossed. You were glad to have this space to yourself. Sometimes, hikers came along, and you held pleasant conversation with them. They came down from the hills behind your home, a beautiful range of white-topped mountains that stretched for miles, carved out by glaciers. You could swear that they were the most beautiful land formations on earth. A bird cawed somewhere nearby, taking off from its perch. You watched it fly overhead, admiring its deep blue coloring.

You noticed the man not long after. He came stumbling through the trees, looking disoriented. He carried no pack, and you worried that something might have happened to him while he had been out hiking. Your fear was amplified by the fresh bloodstain on his shirt. You both stared at each other a shocked moment before either of you moved.

You moved toward him, taking his arm. He must have been one of those modern hippies; his dreadlocks reached his lower back. There was some sort of dark makeup around his eyes, and his clothes were strange, too hot for hiking in. You brushed the thoughts of his strangeness out of your mind, intent on getting him some help. “I live not far from here. I can help you.”

“Thank you, love. But may I ask: where exactly is ‘here’?”

You glanced over at his face, realizing that he was sincere. Surely he had to have some idea of where he was. He’d likely gotten lost while out on the path, but there was no way that he could be utterly confused as to his location. “You’re by the Cascade Mountain Range.” Seeing his still-confused expression, you decided that the injury on his chest might be taking more out of him than you originally thought.

You rushed him back to the house, a little surprised to find how steadily the man walked across the rocks in the stream. Once inside, you sat him on your couch and went to the bathroom for your first aid kit. You kept one around just in case, especially considering the fact that accidents like this did, in fact, happen.

When you stepped back into your living room, you saw that the man was standing in your kitchen, casting a curious glance at your toaster-oven. Seeing the kit in your hands, he nodded, stepping back over toward the sofa.

You pulled his shirt to the side to find a long gash. It was shallow, but it had bled a concerning amount. You bandaged it as best as you could, making sure to apply generous amounts of disinfectant. With the bleeding stopped, you took another look at your patient.

He wore a bandana around his head with trinkets dangling from it, including a rather large piece of what you assumed to be plastic, though it looked convincingly like bone. His outfit was…interesting, to say the least. He wore what appeared to be a worn waistcoat over a billowing shirt, and he had thick belts around his chest and middle. The very personification of a swashbuckling pirate, you thought. He was the strangest person you’d met in the woods to date.

“I know you might feel a little confused,” you said, carefully folding a bloodstained washcloth. “You seem to have lost some blood. Would you mind telling me what happened?”

“Confused is a bit of an understatement, love. I’m baffled. Bewildered. Befuddled, if you will.”

“And why is that, Mr…”

“Sparrow.”

“Mr. Sparrow.” Sparrow? you thought. Certainly not Sparrow as in Jack Sparrow, fictional pirate and dashing rogue?

“Because I have no idea where I am. In perfect honesty, I have no idea when I am.”

You almost laughed. The notion seemed so ridiculous. Then you realized he might have passed out somewhere, and was probably asking for the day of week. “It’s Thursday,” you said. “March thirteenth.”

He nodded.

“Do you mind telling me how you got hurt?”

“Oh! That.” He looked down at the injury, as if analyzing it for the first time. “Swordfight.”

“Swordfight?” At this point, you were fairly sure that you were hallucinating. You’d heard of strange things happening to people, encounters that left people shocked, but you’d never thought that you would have one. You couldn’t tell if the man was a very good actor, or if he was simply insane. You realized that it would be best to call the police. “You should get some rest,” you told him. “You look tired. When you wake up, I’ll have some food ready.”

He thanked you, sprawling out across your couch to take a nap. You moved over to the kitchen, picking up the phone on the way there. Any man who claimed that he had been injured in the middle of the woods in a swordfight wasn’t the type you wanted to be around. You looked back at Sparrow, who had his thick leather boots slung over the edge of your sofa.

A glint of metal caught your eye. There, resting by his hip, was a belt. A large sheath hung off one side, and a sword seemed to be inside it. “Excuse me,” you said without thinking. “Is that a real sword?” The pommel looked lovely, and you wanted to know where he might have gotten something so convincing.

Sparrow cracked an eye. “Of course it is.” He flashed a glint of steel, then returned to his nap.

You put down the phone. Maybe he's not crazy. You busied yourself making a snack, trying to calm your panicking mind. The man laying on your couch was too much like the actual Jack Sparrow, and you were afraid that you’d hit your head in the shower, or that you were still dreaming.

By the time he woke up, he seemed very thankful for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that you handed him. He ate it with gusto, eyes widening with what you knew was the unusual taste of peanut butter.

“Thank you, love.” He licked the jelly off his fingers. “It seems that I’m in need of a place to stay. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to provide?”

“Of course,” you squeaked.

“Unfortunately, I don’t know my way home, and I don’t know how long I’m supposed to be here. I hope it’s not too inconvenient.”

“Not at all.” It really wasn’t, but it was certainly odd to keep a strange man in your house for an undetermined amount of time.

The next few days passed blissfully uneventfully, leaving you to tend to Jack’s injury and introduce him to modern technology. Hilariously, the bed was probably the thing he enjoyed most. You had a guest bed, and he flopped into it unceremoniously all the time. You supposed that if this truly was Jack, then he hadn’t slept in a proper bed in ages.

He was wary of the shower, but you convinced him that scrubbing some of the grime off his face and body would make him feel better. He admitted, later, that it did.

His wound healed up nicely. It hadn’t needed stitches, which you were thankful for. It had been a shallow cut, but it had bled a lot in the beginning, which had concerned you for obvious reasons.

He kept flicking open a compass that looked suspiciously like the real one, staring at it before snapping it closed again, annoyed.

“What do you keep looking at your compass for?”

“Nothing.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I doubt that.”

“Look, lassie. I appreciate the hospitality, but the compass is my business.”

You frowned. You hadn’t realized that Jack probably kept the compass a secret. From most people, at least. You supposed the people who knew about it were exceptions, given that they had known him for a while.

You could tell he was growing fidgety, and that he needed something to do. He paced around the room sometimes, and he kept toying with some of the beads in his hair.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” You asked. “You seem like you could use something to do.”

He agreed. You left the house with a backpack full of food and water, just in case you needed it. Always better to be safe than sorry. You walked back along the little path you’d found him on. Again, he was surefooted crossing the rocks in the stream, and you wondered what would make his balance so good. The mountains rose up ahead of you, a hundred trails splitting off into the wilderness.

“How can you tell where you are with all these trees?” Jack asked.

“I suppose you have to know the paths. Or get a map. Or look for landmarks. It’s pretty easy to tell where you are in comparison to what mountains are around.”

He looked up. “All your mountains look the same.”

“That’s not true.” You pointed out the jagged rocks at the top of a mountain to your left, and the smoother top of the one to your right.

“It’s easier to see things on the open ocean. The sea is the most beautiful thing in the world.” He spoke with such reverence, you could tell that he really believed it. He must love the ocean.

“There’s nothing out there!” you said. “There aren’t any landmarks to tell you where you are.”

“Stars, lassy.”

“That’s only good at night,” you pointed out. “And I think the mountains are more beautiful than the ocean.”

Jack made a face.

“Have you ever hiked up to the top of one and looked off at everything down below?”

“Why would I?”

“Because it’s amazing. I’ll prove it to you.”

Jack looked up at some of the towering peaks. “I’m not sure I can make it up there, love.”

“It’s not so bad, I promise. We won’t go all the way up to the top, anyway. That requires rock-climbing gear.” Jack still looked dubious, but you kept on. “You can’t say that something isn’t beautiful if you haven’t experienced it. I’ve been to the ocean. I know it’s pretty, but not as lovely as the sight off the top of the hills.”

“If you say so.”

You led him up a dusty path that connected to the base of one of the mountains. There was a ledge of rock that you could climb up to and look out at all the things down below. You started leading him up through the trees and bushes.

Jack looked around at all the foliage. His eyes followed flying birds, gliding butterflies, and flowers lining the path. He stared, wide eyed, at all of it. As you climbed higher, he looked out between the trees to see the view. You enjoyed the look of surprise on his face when he gazed out over your home.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this high up before,” he said.

“We still have a ways to go, too. You’re going to love it when we reach the top.”

He looked back at you with a silly grin. “You’re right: this is beautiful. Not sure it beats freedom on the ocean yet, but it’s something.”

You couldn’t wait for him to see it all sprawling out underneath him. The true views were something else. You loved looking down over the little valley you were in, trying to find your house in the trees, looking across at more towering mountains, the sun framed by the peaks.

When you finally reached the top, the afternoon sun hung overhead in the sky. Jack stopped a moment to catch his breath before walking out onto the shelf of rock that extended from the cliff face. He sucked in a breath as he looked out at the view.

The trees had fallen away behind you, and the shelf of rock gave you an unobscured view of the valley below. You could just pic out your small house among the trees far beneath you. The sky seemed to stretch on forever, over the mountains opposite you, bright blue in the midday sun. Everything looked so small; the stream you’d crossed earlier was a winding ribbon, and the road leading up to your house was no wider than a finger from where you stood.

“This is…there aren’t words, love.” Jack gazed out over the expanse. “I’ve never seen anything like it. And the air is crisp, crisper than on the sea, even. And there’s no sound. It just...disappears.”

“I know. Now you can see why I love it so much.”

“I do.”

You sat on the rock, enjoying the view and eating snacks. There was the occasional bird whistle, but other than that, you were in complete silence. No sounds from the road traveled up to greet you, and you were there all alone. Jack couldn’t stop staring. Obviously, he’d never hiked up anything in his life.

He flipped open his compass with a practiced flick. Chewing on a granola bar, he looked down, almost lazily, and the expression on his face changed at once. He was on his feet in an instant. He stepped out off the outcropping, back onto the trail, and took a few short strides to the left. Then, he turned in a few circles, finally stooping down to pick something up.

He brought it back to you, inspecting it carefully. It seemed to be some kind of broach. Why his compass pointed him to a broach, you couldn’t understand, but you were beginning to understand that this was, in fact, the real Jack Sparrow in front of you. He sat back down, and pulled at a piece of string attached to the object. It had some paper on the end of it. A note, probably. His eyes widened, and he cursed under his breath.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” He shoved it in a pocket.

You looked at him suspiciously, but decided to leave it. He’d tell you if he wanted to. Besides, you had to head back down the mountain if you wanted anything to eat for dinner.

You headed back with Jack in a dark mood. He glared testily at the trees and shrubs. Obviously, whatever he’d found in the woods was bothering him. You didn’t want to pry, but you were curious to know what made his mood change so quickly.

You arrived back at your house just as the sun was beginning to sink over the opposite mountains. The air conditioning felt blissful against your warm skin. A shower was in order, you knew, but you decided to clear the air first. Jack had dropped onto the couch, and you walked up, sitting down beside him.

“What was it?” You asked gently.

“What was what?”

“You know what.” You sighed. “The thing you found while we were out hiking.”

“My ticket home, is what.”

“Your ticket home?” You didn’t understand.

He moved closer, showing you the broach. It was a silver ship, and the light bounced off the reflective surface. Then, he grabbed the note, holding it up for you to read.

Jack, it seems you’re doing well where I put you. You were never very good at facing your problems, so I decided to give you one you couldn’t run away from. You seem to have acclimated to the future, and you deserve a way back. Just rub on the ship and think of home.

You stared, flabbergasted. What did it mean? The initials at the end caught your notice. T.D. Surely that had to be Tia Dalma. Was Jack going already, then? Was he leaving you to go back to your everyday life? You’d enjoyed his company, and the more you thought on it, the less you wanted him to go.

“Damned woman put me in the future herself! I can’t believe her, sometimes. But that’s women for you.” He turned to you. “Well, not all women, I guess.”

“Are you leaving, then?” You asked, a little afraid of the answer.

“I do want to get back to my Pearl,” he said, “but I like it here. It’s a nice rest from the ship. Besides, Tia said I needed to do some learning. I don’t suppose it would hurt to do a little more.” He grinned cheekily. “So, tell me about yourself.”

“I don’t think that’s what she meant.” You smiled in spite of yourself.

“You’re right. She wanted me to face my problems. And you’re certainly not a problem, love.”

Oh dear. You rolled your eyes. It was going to be different, if he decided to stick around. Different, but decidedly worthwhile.

“Tell me one thing,” he said. “Does my not-problem kiss? They’ve certainly deserved it. I mean, they’ve patched me up, and given me a place to stay, and shown me some beautiful views.” With that statement, he raked your body over with his eyes. “I think we can do more beautiful things, too.”

You blushed furiously. “I suppose that depends. Are you a good kisser?”

“You’re going to have to come over here to find out.” He winked.

He was. And he insisted on proving it to you quite a few times. Not that you minded.

#potc #pirates #pirates of the caribbean #Jack Sparrow #sparrow #Captain Jack Sparrow #request #requests #jack x reader #jack sparrow x reader #potc fanfic #x reader #self insert

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starshcwer · 15 days

Text

( happy birthday, tifa! | @lunabrae )

" i do hope you're not working." when luna enters seventh heaven, its easy to stare. sunglasses and a headscarf do little to hide her celebrity status, accompanied by her confident stride. twin dogs trail behind her in a surveying state, taking in the status of the bar whilst lunafreya beelined for tifa. theres little time to greet her as she relieves armfuls of gifts onto the bar counter: an expensive looking bath set, undisclosed cases of what one could only assume was jewelry, and lastly, a very large --- bordering on self-important bouquet of carefully picked flowers, all coordinated in different shades of red and white. despite the fanfare, lunafreya barely refers to the newly dispersed gifts, and instead illicits a sigh of relief, and takes her sunglasses off. "because --- i'm here to relieve you. " excitement lilts near the end of her sentence, breaking her stoic facade to reach into her coat, and jingle a set of car keys in the air. " a day out. me and you, some well earned rest and relaxation. happy birthday tifa, if anyone deserves the world and more, it's you."

a curious hum left tifa's lips as the bar door opened, but the bottles ( stacked somewhat precariously ) in her arms prevented her from turning for a proper greeting. luckily, she recognized the voice–––– the light timbre & proper tone, there was only one who frequented visits who spoke in such a manner. ❛ don't worry, barret already came & read me the riot act. i'm not allowed to serve a single drink today. ❜ & yet, she was adding several bottles to remain within reach. not for work, but because she had a sneaking suspicion that the bar would be full come nightfall–––– with friends instead of customers–––– & she wanted to ensure that she was prepared.

finally, the final bottle was placed, & tifa turned around just in time to watch the abundance of gifts settle onto the bar counter. her jaw dropped & her pace increased until she was close enough to lay her hands on the bar counter. ❛ luna! ❜ was all that she could manage as her eyes moved over them all, but lunafreya paid no heed to her exclamation, continuing on with her birthday surprises. tifa's head rose to meet her eyes, watching with slightly parted lips as she pulled the keys from her coat. luna's words brought a heat to tifa's cheeks that she couldn't dismiss. the fact that she was a frequent, hard worker wasn't a new sentiment, but any acknowledgement of her work could cut right to the heart of her composure & leave her flustered. her mouth closed & opened again, trying to find the words for the thoughts running through her head. the most prominent one was the thought that this was all too much for something so simple as her birthday. she would have been more than fine with just a day out with luna–––– but she suspected the other woman knew that already, & tifa could tell from the look in her eyes that she wasn't going to simply take no to any part of her surprise for an answer. tifa sighed in over––––dramatic resignation, her hands reaching for the flowers as she spoke.

❛ you're spoiling me way too much, you know? ❜

tifa held the flowers gently to her chest, taking in the refreshing scent with gently shut eyes. her shoulders relaxed. her smile grew. if lunafreya had been at all unsure if tifa would give in, tifa suspected the answer was clear now.

❛ but alright, you win. i'll let myself be a little spoiled today. ❜

within reason, came her unspoken addition. though she didn't speak it out loud. she had a feeling that within reason meant very different things to her & luna. she set the flowers down, stepping around the bar so she could take luna's hands in her own. ❛ thank you, luna. this is all really sweet! ❜ it was then that tifa seemed to notice the canine companions at their feet, & she released luna's hands to kneel down & give them scratches behind the ears ( & a few under the chin for being so well–––– behaved ).

❛ just let me get these flowers in some water & get cleaned up a little! ❜ & then her smile spread a little wider, a hint of excitement she usually kept contained as she rose back to her feet.

❛ & maybe i can take a closer look at the presents before we go? just for a bit! ❜

#lunabrae #[ luna you gotta stop SPOILING MY MUSES BBGRJHGBJR ]#[ no actually pls keep doing it they deserve it ]#｛ house special: tifa's birthday ｝ –––– happy birthday tifa!#「 questions asked to the stars 」–––– asks #「 the best answer one can give 」–––– tifa answers #〔 somewhere under the stars 〕–––– undetermined

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dahliawolfe · 3 years

Text

Something More

CSI NY fanfic

Danny Messer/OFC

The buzzing of her cell woke her. Grunting, Nora reached for the phone and flipped it open.

“Hello,” she rasped.

“Nora, we’ve got a case,” Mac Taylor said, no preamble.

“Gotcha, Dad. Text me the address, please,” she swung her legs over the side of the bed and snapped the phone shut, throwing it onto the nightstand. She hurried into a pair of jeans from the floor and turned to look back at the bed. “Yo, Messer! Up and at ‘em! We got a case,” she demanded, throwing a balled up sock at Danny’s head. She and Danny had been fooling around for a few weeks now. When a case was stressful (and they usually were) they met up and blew off steam. She’d known Danny for nearly 6 years, and he was her best friend. It was strictly no strings attached when they hooked up.

“Lemme sleep,” Danny begged tiredly. They had been up until after 2 a.m. working on finishing up a case. It was now a little after 6.

“No can do. Boss man called himself.” She slid into her lace black bralette and grabbed the first discarded t-shirt she could reach. She shoved her feet into her boots and stood. “Lock up, will ya? See ya there.” Danny gave her a limp wave from the bed, and she snorted. She threw her leather jacket around her shoulders and made her way down to her Tahoe.

…

The Crestmont loomed in front of her, and Nora took a second to peer up. This place had always given her the creeps. Shaking herself, she made her way inside, flashing her badge at the patrol officer out front. She made her way to the elevator, taking it all the way to the 15 floor. She could smell the latex and print powder as she stepped out of the doors. She smiled. It smelled like home. Even before Nora became an investigator herself, her dad had been doing the job, and he always came home smelling like the tools of the trade.

“Nora, over here,” Flack called, waving her over. She nodded and made her way carefully across the penthouse suite.

“What have we got” she questioned, grabbing gloves from her kit and snapping them on.

“Alexander Trenton. He was a judge. On his way to the Supreme Court.” Nora whistled and stooped to take a look at the body.

“Looks like a through and through. Execution style,” she remarked, standing up.

“Is that Danny’s shirt?” Flack questioned, wrinkling his forehead in confusion.

She froze and glanced down at herself. It was indeed Danny’s shirt.

“Oh, yeah. I spilled coffee on myself last night. He lent it to me, and it was just what I threw on this morning on the way out the door.” The lie was easy enough. She needed to be more careful.

“Hmm. Well, you might wanna change before Mac gets here.”

“Where is Father Dearest, anyway?”

“Mayor wanted a word.” Nora rolled her eyes.

“Of course.”

“You guys start the party without me?!” Danny demanded, coming out of the elevator carrying 3 coffees.

“Fashionably late, as always,” Nora teased, grabbing her camera to document the scene.

…

Nora was leaned over the desk in the print lab when someone spoke behind her.

“Detective Eleanor Taylor?”

“Nora,” she replied, placing her file down and turning around, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the light table.

“We would like a word,” replied the man; obviously a federal agent of some sort.

“We can talk in my office,” Mac replied, coming out of nowhere. He led the two agents and Nora to his office, where he shut the door.

“What’s this about?” Nora asked. She didn’t have time for their bureaucratic crap.

The second agent pulled out a file and passed it to Nora. “We believe you know this man.”

Nora opened the file and felt her stomach tighten. “Jared Weston,” she said, the words threatening to choke her.

“Yes. You attended North Peak Academy with him, did you not?”

“That was years ago. Why are you here? I haven’t seen him in 7 years.”

Another file was handed to her. She flicked through it briefly, spotting bloody crime scenes and pages of notes on victims. “Okay?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“In the last 6 months, 6 judges, 3 military personnel, and 4 police have been murdered from Virginia, to Boston, to Delaware. The M.O. is all the same. And all evidence points to someone with a serious grudge against the government.” Nora felt the blood leave her body. She thought he was just an angry kid. Mad at his parents. She never thought he’d do anything like this.

“If you know all of this. And you have evidence against him, why are you here?”

“We’re always one step behind, but we got a lead on his next victim.”

“Judge Trenton?” she questioned, feeling the pieces fall into place. The agents shared a confused face.

“We thought he was a possible target, but Detective Taylor, we think you’re his next target.”

“Me?! What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Weston has it out for you. We found his manifestoes on our last case. He talks about how you betrayed him. And how you’re worse than any of the others.”

“Betrayed him how?” Mac asked, speaking for the first time.

Nora swallowed against a dry throat. “I need a minute,” she croaked, slamming out of the room, and making her way as quickly as possible to the roof, bending over, roughly hugging herself in a demand for oxygen.

“Nora!” came the call, as Danny joined her on the roof. “Hey. Hey. It’s ok. What happened?” he demanded, pulling her into his chest.

“We were kids! We were scared! And we were pissed that our parents sent us to a fucking military academy! That place was hell, Danny, and he was the only bright spot of it! How the hell does this happen?!”

“Ok. Ok. Shhh. It’s ok. I’m right here. I gotcha.” He held her close, rocking her gently until she could breathe again. When he deemed it safe, he pulled her away a pushed a stray curl out of her face. “Now, tell me. What happened in there.”

“Jared went to North Peak too. And we bonded. His mom and dad were both in the military. And he hated them for sending him away to be trained to be like them. And I was mad and Mac for sending me away to a military school upstate. I felt like he didn’t want me. Like I was a fuck up and he wanted to get rid of me and have something better. So, we would sit behind the bleachers and smoke cigarettes and drink beer and rage against the machine. I thought it was all just angsty teenage bullshit. Then the towers were hit. And Claire was gone. And I was devasted. She was the only mom I’d ever known. And she was gone. And I was scared. I was so angry, Danny. I remember just screaming at the stars and demanding to know why any of that bullshit had happened to us. And Jared, Jared sat with me all night and screamed too. And the next morning, Mac came and took me home to finish my senior year at St. Agatha’s. And I never saw Jared again. Truth be told, I didn’t want to. He reminded me of how ungrateful, and angry, and hurt I was, and I didn’t want that. But then I became a cop. And I betrayed him. I left him. And I don’t know what happened to him. But now he kills people, Danny. And he wants to kill me. And hell, maybe I deserve that.”

“Hey! Look at me!” Grabbing her chin, Danny forced her to look up at him. “You do not deserve that. You were a child! And he was sick! And none of that was your fault! You did not do this! He did! You hear me?!” He pressed a firm but gentle kiss to her lips then her forehead and pulled her close again.

…

“We want to put you on 24-hour protection detail,” the FBI agent informed her, once she had relayed her story to them.

“We can do that in house,” Mac stated, folding his arms over his chest. He knew his people could protect his daughter better than the feds ever could. She was one of their own, and they took care of their own.

“I’ll do it,” Danny quickly stated, jumping into the conversation. He’d followed her back inside when she’d finally gained the courage to come in.

“Ok, who else can take a shift?” the agent asked, raising a brow at Mac.

“No, I mean I can be with her 24/7 until we catch this guy,” Danny said, standing straighter. The agent snorted, but Mac nodded.

“Don’t let her out of your sight.”

“Roger, Boss.”

…

Nora tossed her keys into the bowl by the front door and kicked her boots off. It had been a hell of a day, and she needed a drink and a hot bath.

“I’m making myself a rum and coke and I’m gonna sit in a hot bath for an undetermined amount of time. Make yourself at home,” she informed, stripping her tee off and throwing it somewhere to her left.

“Pizza tonight?” Danny asked, leaning over to look into the fridge.

“Sure. Extra cheese.”

By the time Nora made it to the bathroom, she was down to her underwear. She had a cold glass of Bicardi and coke, which she sat down beside her claw foot tub, turning the water on, making sure it was hot enough, and adding some mint soak. After putting some music on her record player, she slid into the warm bubbles, sinking up to her neck. She sighed, feeling at least some of the day’s tension melt away.

Danny peeked into the bathroom, admiring Nora. She looked like a goddess, head laid back, surrounded by bubbles, singing softly to the Frank Sinatra playing in the background.

“See something you like, Messer?” she teased, opening one eye and raising her brow at him.

“Very much so,” Danny replied, coming in to kneel by the tub, dipping his finger under the water. “But, pizza’s here.”

“Mmm. Good, I’m starving. Give me five, and I’ll be out.”

“Sure thing.” Before leaving, Danny leaned down and gave Nora a deep kiss. “Don’t keep me waiting,” he urged, heading back to the living area.

When Nora emerged, she was wearing nothing but an overly large Led Zepplin t-shirt and a pair of black boyshorts. Danny had already set up the tv to reruns of The Golden Girls and had the pizza box open with a beer bottle on each side of the table. He gave her a grin. “Your feast, ma’am,” he joked, bowing for effect.

“Why thank you, sir. Truly, you do provide.” Nora took a seat on the couch, snagging the blue wool blanket from Danny’s end, snatching a slice of pizza, and hooking a beer with her ring finger and pinkie. Danny settled in close, lazily slinging his arm over her shoulder and sitting back with his own slice.

“Fuck, Danny! Don’t stop!” Nora moaned, looking down to catch Danny giving her a cheeky wink, delving even deeper into his ministrations. And Nora was almost there, but then someone knocked on the door.

“Nora, it’s Flack!”

“Fuck!” she hissed, pushing Danny away from between her legs. “C-coming, Flack!”

“Two words you don’t really wanna hear when going down on your girl,” Danny commented, wiping his face off on the duvet. Nora frowned.

“Shut it, Messer. Your girl?” She huffed, standing to locate her discarded underwear, tossing Danny his jeans and making her way to the front door. She checked to make sure Danny was decent before unlocking the door and opening it.

“Flack, what’s up? It’s late, man?”

“Nora, there’s another vic. Mac wanted me to come pick you guys up.”

“Shit. Ok, let me get my pants.”

“Jeffrey Conrad. 57. He’s an ex-homicide detective from Brooklyn,” Mac informed the second Nora got out of Flack’s car.

“Conrad? Why does that name sound familiar?” Nora questioned, grabbing a pair of gloves, ducking under the crime scene tape. Mac handed her a picture. It was of a greying man in a uniform. “Wait, Conrad. There was a kid at North Peak. Tyler…Tommy…”

“Trevor?” Mac replied.

“Yes! That’s it. Trevor, he was in our class. He killed himself a couple of years ago, I think.” Nora sighed, rubbing her temples. “He was always telling anyone who would listen how much of a bastard his dad was. I guess Jared blamed Trevor’s death on his dad.” Mac frowned. Nora could see that this case was wearing at him too. She tried not to give him a hard time. He was a single dad just trying to do what was best. And she knew he loved her, but she also knew how hellish North Peak had been. She gently touched her father’s arm. “Hey, listen. I know why you sent me to North Peak. I’m fine. Those other kids, their parents were terrible to them, but you weren’t like that to me. You and…” she gulped. “And Claire, you guys gave me a lot of good opportunities. You did your best. And I…I don’t blame you for anything.” Mac gave her a sad smile and nodded.

“I shouldn’t have sent you away. I’m sorry, Nora.” She gave him as soft smile.

“Mac! Nora!” Stella called from across the room. Sharing a brief glance at each other, Mac and Nora walked quickly to her side.

“What did you find, Stella?” Stella handed her a sealed envelope.

“It has your name on it.”

#csi ny #danny messer #mac taylor #stella

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codythecheshirecat · 3 years

Text

Binary Sunset Ch 2: Seemed Far Away

Story Summary: Obi-Wan finds himself decades in the future on the ship of a Mandalorian that seems like the last thing he wants is to be sidled with another lifeform. Or two, because suddenly they have a little...tiny... Yoda to deal with. Not actually Yoda, Obi-Wan knows, but still. It's weird, and stressful, and there's an entire Empire that's come and gone (going?). He just wants to rest. Figure out what exactly has happened and maybe, maybe find a way to stop it, if he ever gets back to his own time. Better that than wallow in misery and pain of a past he got plucked from, yet still feels the pain of.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30771671/chapters/76338152#workskin

Saleucami is a fairly nice planet, Obi-Wan decides as he steps from the ship. Warm, for sure, but not overbearingly so. They’ve touched down in one of the more swampy areas. Obi-Wan cranes his neck to get a good look at the area. A bird flies overhead. Mando puts his arm out, stopping him in his tracks.

“Yes?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Mando turns his head to look at him. “You’re staying here.”

“Excuse you?”

“You’ll only get in the way. I’m used to working alone. I don’t need your help.”

Obi-Wan crosses his arms. “What, exactly, do you expect me to do while I’m waiting for you to track down your bounty, then?”

“Don’t know, don’t care, as long as you don’t get into what isn’t yours.”

Obi-Wan tosses his head. “Ah, so I’m to sit quietly in the dark of your ship.”

Mando shrugs. “Maybe there’s something in the area that’s edible. You could resupply the food stores so we don’t have to purchase anything.”

Obi-Wan just sighs, turning back to the ship. “Do I at least have permission to get into the weapons if danger occurs?”

“Sure.”

Obi-Wan looks over his shoulder, watching somewhat petulantly as Mando walks away, following his tracking fob. He sighs again. He’d have liked to have something to do to keep his mind off things. Clearly that won’t be happening. So he walks back into the ship, closes the door, and sits on the floor next to his still-discarded robes. He runs his hands through the fabric.

“The Galactic Empire destroys the Jedi Order.” He says softly, the same words he’s been thinking since he talked to the Mandalorian Armorer. “Wish I knew more about that.”

He’d been a little overwhelmed during his talk with the Armorer. After leaving he’d thought of a thousand questions, ones she may or may not have had answers to. Asking Mando had been… unsuccessful. He should have realized that Mando had limited knowledge, after all, he had said he’d never heard of the Jedi Order. Further questioning had brought forth similar answers.

Obi-Wan is disappointed, but not surprised. Surely the Empire had done as much as it could to control information as much as people and planets. And Mando, living among the Outer Rim, wouldn’t have had much reason to bother with the Empire. Obi-Wan’s fairly certain that the Empire’s control over the outer rim had been as thin and fleeting as the Republic’s. The Outer Rim is often simply uncontrollable from those in power at the Core Worlds. So it would have been advantageous for Mando to know what he had to know to survive, and little else. And he wouldn’t have gained anything from knowledge about the Jedi. At least, that’s what Obi-Wan rationalizes to himself. What other answers are there, after all?

He must stay there for hours, thinking about everything and nothing, and absolutely, completely, one-hundred percent meaning to get up and have a look around the area. Maybe find some food like Mando suggested. And yet, he’s barely moved a muscle when the door opens again and Mando strides in, dragging a shaking human man behind him. He locks eyes with the man, and then decides that he’d rather not have any reason to feel for him; he’s going to have to get used to the bounty hunting life, and the good and bad people that get caught up in it. The man yells as Mando shoves him into a carbon freezing unit.

Mando turns to him. “You haven’t moved at all, have you?”

“Not a bit.” He admits. “Where to next? Nevarro again?”

Mando walks to the ladder heading to the cockpit. “Crait.”

Obi-Wan follows him up. “How many bounties do you have?”

“Several.”

***

Crait is as boring as Saleucami, as are Galidraan and Gamorr. Mostly because Mando refuses to let Obi-Wan help, and so he sits, bored, on the floor of the Razor Crest. Alone with his thoughts. Alone with his fears. Mando isn’t even particularly talkative, so even when they’re in the cockpit traveling together through space it’s boring.

After a day of traveling, Obi-Wan finds a pen. He promptly spends two hours drawing all over himself for lack of anything else to do. It’s something he’d ordinarily scold Anakin for doing. Had, in fact, several times over Anakin’s padawan years. There’s something freeing in it, though, knowing that the only person that will know is Mando and Mando clearly doesn’t give a kriff. There’s no rhyme or reason to what he draws-- the symbol of the Jedi Order, a five pointed star, the Basic Alphabet. Birds and loth-cats and a badly-drawn wampa. Random lines and squiggles, until his arms and legs are covered and he’s made a fair dent everywhere else, too, using the mirror Mando has in his refresher. They almost look like tattoos.

Other than drawing, he spends his time meditating, and when that only manages to make him more anxious, he sleeps. And dreams-- nothing that seems to be prophetic, just dreams of his past, dreams of nonsense, nightmares of his anxieties come to life. A particularly rattling one has him waking, gasping for breath, with screams of the dying thundering in his ears.

When he can’t sleep any more, he stalks around the ship, committing as much of it to memory as he can without prying. How many steps can he take, going from one side to the next? Where are the control panels? How many people, frozen in carbonite, can fit in the ship? There isn’t much of a kitchenette-- actually, there’s little more than 2 cupboards, a small box for cold foods, and a small oven that really serves for reheating more than actual cooking. Obi-Wan counts the ration bars, the cans of soup, the few bits of frozen meat. The rations will last them for quite a while, despite the small space.

And just like that, three standard weeks pass.

***

Maldo Kreis is as boring as everything else, at least until Mando shows up with his bounty with a hungry ravinak following. His bounty-- a blue Mythrol-- screams bloody murder. Obi-Wan lifts his head from where he lays on the floor and watches the two move past him, heading for the cockpit. He looks out the door-- the ravinak’s bitten down on the landing gear.

There’s no way they’ll be able to lift off with that hanging on the way it is. In fact, it’s more likely that the ravinak will drag them under. He springs to his feet. Mando’s Amban Rifle is around here somewhere, where had he last seen it..? Oh, right, by the door to the cockpit. He follows them up the ladder, grabs the rifle, and jumps back down. The ship shudders. He grimaces, charges the rifle, and braces himself at the door.

Here goes nothing. He lunges forward, shoving the prongs of the rifle into the ravinak’s face. Electricity dances across and under its skin. It lets go of the ship with a roar, sinking back into the icy water. Unfortunately, without the ravinak holding it down, the Razor Crest lurches into the air with enough force that almost sends Obi-Wan tumbling into the water with it. He climbs into the ship and closes the door. He lets out a breath. I’m out of practice.

He joins them in the cockpit. The Mythrol chatters away about nothing in his best attempt at persuading them into letting him go. After getting nothing from Mando, the Mythrol turns to him. Obi-Wan gives him his best unimpressed look and turns back to looking at hyperspace. Is this how I sound to Mando? He wonders. It’s exhausting. He’s honestly thankful when Mando gets the chance to put him in carbonite. When he returns to the cockpit, Obi-Wan offers him a smile.

“You probably wish you could do that to me, hm?”

“Maybe a little.” Mando admits. “And before you ask, now we’re heading to Nevarro.”

“Ah, wonderful. I could stretch my legs.” I’ve already been out of the ship there, you have no way of arguing me into staying hidden.

“We’re only stopping to turn in the bounties and get new ones. It’ll be quick.”

Obi-Wan hums. “If you say so. I could buy new supplies, then, while you deal with Guild business?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Obi-Wan glances at him. “You know, I still don’t know your name.”

“And?”

“I think it’d be helpful to know it.”

“No.”

Alright. “Were you born a Mandalorian?”

“Why do you care?” Mando asks slowly.

Obi-Wan shrugs. “We’re going to be traveling together for an undetermined amount of time, I’d like to know at least a bit about you. All I know about you is that you’re a Mandalorian bounty hunter, you don’t know anything about Jedi, and you’re much better suited to long space travels than I am. Well, I also have nothing to do, but I haven’t exactly seen you do anything more than eat, sleep, clean your weapons, and fly this ship, none of which actually take that long. Also, I spent a year on Mandalore when I was younger, during the civil war.”

Mando fully turns to look at him. Obi-Wan offers another smile. Focus on the future right now, not the past. Nothing can be done about the past, so make sure the future isn’t going to be a mess.

Mando sighs. “I was a foundling, taken in when I was a child. I was raised in the Fighting Corps. I work as a bounty hunter to support the Tribe. Is that enough?”

“If that’s all you’ll give me.” Obi-Wan acquiesces. “Would you like to know more about me?”

“Which side were you on?” The question is immediate.

“Er-what?”

“During the Clone Wars.”

“Oh.” Obi-Wan pauses. Not a question he expected to hear. “I was fighting on the side of the Republic. So, the clone army, not the droid army.”

“Good.” Mando says darkly. “You said you’re from the beginning of the war?”

“Well, I assume so, unless the War was done and over in a matter of a few months.” Obi-Wan says, falling into the sort of sarcastic indignance he often does with Anakin. “I’d just fought at Christophsis.”

Mando hums. “Alright.”

And that’s that.

***

Obi-Wan stares at his reflection in the mirror of the Razor Crest’s refresher. He’s let his hair grow too much for his tastes over the past few weeks. He hasn’t trimmed it at all, and now he hardly looks the part of Jedi Master. Well, he does want to blend in, but… it’s really a matter of self-care, in the end. He runs his fingers through his beard.

It’s doubtful there are many people in the galaxy now that would recognise him. He imagines they’re dead, old, or simply wouldn’t expect him to look so young. So really, he could probably get away with keeping the beard. But it would be his luck, to manage to run into someone that would recognise him, his look. And it would be his luck that said someone would be an enemy, too. It can’t hurt to be cautious.

He glances at Mando, standing at his weapons cache. He’s not sure what species he is, still, seeing as he never takes his helmet off. Nor does he particularly care what species he is. But if he’s a species without hair, it’ll be rather hard to cut his own. “Do you have something I could cut my hair with? And shave my beard?”

Mando turns to look at him. “There’s a razor and a pair of scissors behind the mirror.”

“Ah, thank you.”

He finds them where Mando says they are, strapped in so they don’t fall out and make a mess during rough travels. That sort of thing isn’t typically a worry on larger ships, but one as small as the Razor Crest, it’s practically a necessity. He pauses. He’s well versed in taking care of his beard-- that’s not exactly hard, and not something one would want to go to a barber for. His hair, though… well, he’ll just have to give it a go, won’t he?

So he shaves his beard, leaves only stubble. He’d been completely clean shaven as a padawan for several reasons and only some having to do with his age, but the moment he’d no longer been a padawan he’d happily grown a beard. Partially just to prove to Quinlan he could. Obi-Wan frowns at his reflection. It’s… strange, having hair as long as he does without the beard to match. Luckily I’ll be dealing with that shortly enough.

Cutting his hair goes about half as well. He leaves it just barely longer than he’d had it as a padawan, minus the ponytail. And a lot more messy, actually. As it turns out, he’s very bad at cutting hair. It doesn’t look terrible. It just doesn’t look very good, either. And it certainly doesn’t look like it was on purpose.

“Oh well.” He mutters, and starts cleaning up. It’ll just have to do.

Mando chuckles. “Having trouble?”

Obi-Wan eyes him. “Not everyone is as used to cutting their own hair as you are.”

“Maybe you should shave it. Go bald.”

Obi-Wan thinks about that. “That is a cursed image and I hate that you’ve made me think of it, Mando.”

Mando’s laughter gets louder, and he counts it as a win.

#Star Wars #Clone Wars #The Mandalorian #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Din Djarin #Binary Sunset #Chapter 2 #Time Travel

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cosleia · 3 years

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Jeeyon Answer Meme

I did a meme on Twitter, made by a user named Jeeyon, where you answer really weird questions...except I answered each question as a different Star Wars character. See if you can guess who is who.

1. What is your favorite thing to smell that's neither perfume nor your body's natural scent?

The second-best thing I ever smelled were wildflowers, lush and purple, beautiful as they bobbed on long stems in the gentle breeze. The best, though…well. It doesn’t matter. I’ll never smell either of them again.

2. Horses: y/n? Defend your answer.

Look, when you’re on a planet with animals that are ridden, you ride those animals. You do what the locals do. That’s how you make contacts and gain trust. Would I say I particularly LIKE animals? No. I don’t care about children, either. No—no, put that down! *heavy sigh*

3. If you could be perpetually youthful in mind and body but it meant outliving everyone you love, would you do it?

I want to say yes. I should say yes. There’s so much work left, and if I could maintain my health longer, I could do more…but.

But.

I’ve just lost so much, so many, already.

Don’t tell anyone. I have to be strong.

4. What was a superstition you made up and slowly, over time, ended up believing?

All I do is bring pain to the people I love. The galaxy can’t afford my mistakes anymore. I have to take myself out of the equation.

That’s what I told myself, and I even believed it…but deep down, I knew I was afraid. It took a true hero to make me face that.

5. What sounds do you hear often in passing that cheer you up?

The Falcon makes good noises. The hyperdrive especially, but even the proximity alarm…it all reminds me of those early days with Han. Nothing’s perfect, but after literal enslavement on a mudball planet, that time was idyllic.

And Han was the best friend I’ve ever had.

6. A minor god grants you a boon: either the gift of being able to grow gills to breathe and swim great depths underwater, or to grow wings and fly to great heights. You can go about as fast as you would at a full sprint. What good deed did you receive the boon for, and do you take gills or wings?

Oh gosh, a boon? Just for being a decent human being?? I don’t know, could I even accept? …pretend I have to? Ugh, okay…well…being able to fly would be amazing, but I mean, I don’t want to discount BREATHING UNDERWATER, like, can you imagine?? And oh I’m supposed to say what I did to get the boon too, I don’t even know, in the stories you can get a boon for setting an animal free from a trap or returning something that was lost, so maybe something like that. But I don’t know, it should be something really special, right? Something…

…like what a hero would do. Something…

Oh, I am NOT, shut up!

…yes, I did do that…

Fine…

Okay, I’m going to pick flying. You’re more likely to need me to save your ass again in the air than in the ocean. *laughs*

7. Every wild animal you see within an eight block radius of your home now has a taste for human flesh. How screwed are you?

How convenient for me. I have plenty of humans around. This way, my snacks will come right to me.

8. You meet and fall in love with someone who falls in love with you in turn, but the cost is you never have a clean break when you take a shit ever again. Is it worth it?

To love—and to be loved back? Totally worth it. I’ll cram some TP up there, I don’t care. Sure it’ll make being in the cockpit uncomfortable sometimes, but what kind of pilot can’t fly under pressure?

9. If you could be any of your houseplants, which would you be? If you don't have houseplants, choose a bivalve instead.

What a pointless question! I don’t have time for this. Back to your stations immediately.

10. In Bo Burnham's comedy special Inside, the opening song includes the line, "I'm sorry I've been gone, but look I made you some content/Daddy made you your favorite, open wide." What are you opening wide for? You are opening your mouth only. You are not opening your mouth for a body part. [Note: That disclaimer SLAYED ME]

*squeals unintelligibly, gesturing toward Frog Lady’s eggs*

11. You wake up with a worn leather pouch under your pillow. When you unwind the frayed cord cinched around its neck, you see that it is full of teeth. Somehow you know you are meant to plant them in fertile soil. What kind of teeth are they, and what crop do you harvest?

The teeth are from a comb, and when I plant them they grow a rooster, and when he crows you feel it in your teeth. Well, that’s what it seems like would happen, anyway. Just a feeling.

12. There's a spider in your home that brings you a crisp, newly minted $5 every day at 5:40PM, but also every day at an undetermined time between 1 and 2AM, on two randomly selected days of the week, screams directly in your ear with the volume and lung capacity of an opera singer. Do you let the spider keep living inside, or do you take it outside to a nice garden somewhere?

I do not comply with natural law. I make my own law. This spider will bow before me. My new apprentice.

13. While you're trying out a new recipe, you fuck up and summon a demon instead. What were you trying to cook? Which demon do you summon with your errors?

Well, hello there. I suppose my lunch shall have to wait. Would you be interested in helping me commit war crimes?

14. If you could transform all of your hair to a different, hairlike-but-not-hair substance, what would it be?

Uhhh, gonna have to stick with my hair, I think. No offense to anyone. I just already know how to deal with hair. (Plus…my hair’s pretty great)

15. You're checking the ingredients of a new affordable skincare product that's really working wonders for you, and the first one listed is "ACTIVE INGREDIENT 3.6% HUMAN BLOOD." Do you keep using it?

ABSOLUTELY NOT. I would bring this outrage to the Senate immediately. No one should suffer for others’ gain.

16. You travel to see a beloved friend of many years, but the more time you spend with them, the more they seem a little off, like you're looking at a picture of your friend through a window pane. When you ask them about it they reply cheerfully, "Oh yeah I'm a homunculus constructed in the image of your friend. I have all their memories and bodily conditions. For all intents and purposes, I'm a later edition of your friend, but the person you knew as your friend isn't here anymore. Where do you want to eat dinner tonight?" What restaurant do you choose?

I know you’re not Fives. I held Fives as he died. We may all look alike, but we’re not all the same.

17. If you could shrink or grow to ride any non-horse animal like a horse, which animal would you choose?

Oh, that would be useful, especially the shrinking part, to get into tighter spaces. But then I’d want to be normal again later. Or bigger, so people would be less likely to cheat me. Oh, yes, I suppose I do have the lightsaber now, don’t I?

18. During an evening stroll you find an adorable, bright blue beetle the size of a pencil eraser. When you go over to investigate, it calls you the rudest thing you've ever been called in your entire life. What do you do?

What?? That’s just—what??? I think I’d be too shocked to respond at first. But everyone has their reasons for doing things I guess. Maybe if we talked about it we could come to an understanding. If not, I’d just go on my way.

#star wars #my writing #not tagging the characters because that would be telling!#some of these are better than others haha

4 notes · View notes

corona-extra-newsletter · 4 years

Text

3/17/20 corona extra: cracking open cold covid facts

Announcements & Thank Yous

Thank you to everyone who’s messaged me or sent asks! Specific thanks go to:

@catrope for verifying Netherlands information

@ruffboijuliaburnsides and @fleurdeneuf for helping me collect county level data and for extra sources

@ineloquent-tumbling and Dr. Mehta for sharing an excellent source of data

@stebuklai for info about NJ

@halcyonhowl for the homeschooling resources

@stone-stars for info about FL

@planb-is-in-effect for sources about Canada

Georgia anon for information about Georgia State

Twitter users @molly0xFFF and @goblinartificer for their continued help with the Wordpress site

@marywhal for the cat videos

@epersonae for the Gritty tipoff

If you have reliable information from a good source that I don’t seem to have, please shoot me a message/ask/pigeon!

Places now included in the newsletter are: Australia, Indiana, Missouri, New Hampshire, Arkansas, and Wyoming. Please send an ask or a message if you would like a place included! Germany will be included in full tomorrow.

I have started a website for the newsletter! Find it at coronaextranewsletter.com. If you know me from fandom, please be chill about my meatspace identity. Please.

Sorry the newsletter is late today. There was some late breaking news and also a lot of stuff happened today! Tomorrow I will make more of an effort to be on time. :)

Just The Numbers

Case numbers

Total cases: 179,112 (+11,526)

Total deaths: 7,426 (+475)

Mortality rate: 4.15%

WHO is now breaking cases down by region, and I will follow their lead from here on out

Western Pacific: 91,779 cases (+289), 3,357 deaths (+23)

Europe: 64,189 cases (+8,507), 3,108 deaths (+428)

SE Asia: 508 cases (+124), 9 deaths (+2)

Eastern Mediterranean: 16,786 cases (+330), 873 deaths (+3)

Americans: 4,910 cases (+2,234), 68 deaths (+18)

Africa: 228 cases (+42), 4 deaths (+1)

159 countries/territories reporting cases, 8 new including:

Guam (3), Somalia (1), Bahamas (1), Aruba (2), US Virgin Islands (2), Benin (1), Liberia (1), and Tanzania (1)

Italy is reporting 27,980 cases (+3233) and 2,503 deaths (+349)

Iran is reporting 14,991 cases (+0) and 853 deaths (+0)

Germany is reporting 6012 cases (+1174) and 13 deaths (+1)

International/General News

Italy has had approximately the same number of cases three days in a row. This means that their strict lockdown/quarantine procedures are working! GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

China is endorsing the use of favipiravir as an experimental treatment for COVID-19. It has been used to treat influenza before and is showing some promise in COVID patients, by decreasing the duration of the illness and the severity of their lung disease. Watch this space for more!

Virology Corner

Today’s question comes from @greenfairyarmadillo and @heturnedleft. Both asked a variation of the same question: Do we know yet if people who recover from COVID-19 are immune to reinfection or not? Do we expect COVID-19 to be like measles, like flu, or somewhere in between?

We don’t know yet! We know that people have protective antibodies, but my guess based on what I know about other coronaviridae is that the protection will wane pretty quickly, which is more like the flu. But we’ll see! Watch this space for data from China, where we’ll see hard data first.

The other thing to consider is the way that coronaviruses can attenuate, or get less strong, as they spread through populations. So it may be mitigated in the future less by herd immunity and more by attenuation of the SARS-CoV-2 strain itself. But I’m not sure! If I could predict the future I’d be super popular right now. Like, super popular.

If you have questions, ask them and they’ll appear here in the next issue of Corona Extra!

Tomorrow’s topic: Why 6 feet of separation? How does that help? How is COVID-19 spread? Stay tuned!

Regional News (if you want somewhere added just let me know. Don’t be shy!! I highly recommend you just skip to your area if you don’t wanna be overwhelmed.)

Australia: last updated 3/17 at 6 am

375 cases, 5 deaths, 27 recoveries

189 cases acquired overseas (US, Iran, Italy, UK)

Community spread not confirmed

States affected include: ACT (2), New South Wales (170), Queensland (68), South Australia (29), Tasmania (7), Victoria (71), and Western Australia (28)

I have to question why y’all have states called just “South Australia” and “Western Australia”, where’s the panache??? Where’s the creativity?

COVID-19 information line: 1800 020 080

Canada: last updated 3/17 at 10:30 am

Total cases: 424 confirmed (+100), 16 presumed (-1), 5 deaths (+4), 5 recovered

Symptoms began for these cases between 1/15 and 3/15

13% of cases have required hospitalization (no change)

74% of cases are in travellers, and a further 6% in their close contacts

Affected provinces include: Alberta (74, +18), BC (103, +30), Manitoba (7, +0), New Brunswick (7, +1), Newfoundland and Labrador (1, +0), Nova Scotia (5, +0) Ontario (177, +5), PEI (1, +0), Québec (50, +9), and Saskatchewan (7, +1).

Totals here include confirmed and presumptive positives

8 cases in repatriated travellers (+4)

Restrictions/Closures:

No formal restrictions/closures at the federal level

Recommendation to cancel or postpone gatherings of >50 people

Recommendation to avoid non-essential travel, particularly cruise ships

All international travelers must self-isolate for 14 days upon arrival

Wash your damn hands

Federal information line: 1-833-784-4397

Alberta: last updated 3/17 at 1:40 pm

74 cases, 18 new, 0 deaths

Community spread confirmed in Calgary

Affected zones include: Calgary (52), Edmonton (18), Central (2), South (1), and North (1)

This is all of them I think

Restrictions/closures

K-12 schools and in-person post-secondary classes/training are closed

Licensed childcare facilities, out-of-school care programs, and preschools are closed indefinitely

State of Emergency declared 3/17

Sit-down restaurants are operating at lower capacity

All events over 50 people are prohibited

Rec centers, bingo halls, casinos, theaters, other entertainment/public spaces are closed

British Columbia: last updated 3/16 evening

Dedicated phone line: 1 888 COVID19

103 cases (+30), 5 recoveries, and 6 critical cases

4 deaths, 3 new

Affected public health units include: Fraser, Interior, Island, and Vancouver Coastal

Clusters of infection have been reported at Lynn Valley Care Centre, Hollyburn House Retirement Residence, and Lions Gate Hospital (admin staff).

An exposure occurred at the Pacific Dental Conference 2020 (Vancouver Convention Centre, 3/6 and 3/7)

All present on those dates are in self-isolation until 3/22

Poor teeth man :(

Restrictions/Closures

All hospitals have postponed elective surgeries and are on Outbreak Response Phase 2

Lions Gate Hospital is going to open a dedicated COVID 19 unit and is in Outbreak Response Phase 3 (emergency patients only)

Long term care facilities have restricted visitors to end of life only

Public gatherings & buildings with >50 people are prohibited

All casinos are closed

Manitoba: last updated 3/17 AM

HealthLinks Line: 204-788-8200 or 1-888-315-9257 (toll free)

8 cases, 1 new

Affected regions include: Interlake-Eastern (1) and Winnipeg (7)

Closures/Restrictions

Hospital and long term care visitors restricted to only exception circumstances (incl. end of life care)

Licensed child-care centers are closed effective 3/20

Casinos are closed effective 3/17

Health care workers and first responders who need child care due to school closures are advised to call 204-945-0776 or 1-888-213-4754

New Brunswick: last updated 3/17 4 PM

8 cases, 2 new, 0 deaths

Affected areas include Zone 3

I don’t live in NB so I have no idea what this is beyond one of at least three zones

Closures/Restrictions

Schools are closed starting 3/16 for two weeks

Newfoundland & Labrador: last updated 3/17

1 case, 0 new

Sorry that’s all the info I have ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nova Scotia: last updated 3/16 at 12:58 pm

7 cases, 2 new

Affected areas include: Halifax Regional Municipality (2)

Closures/Restrictions

Gatherings over 150 people are disallowed

Casinos are closed starting 3/16; VLTs are not allowed in bars

Childcare facilities are closed starting 3/17 through 4/3

Public schools are closed until 4/6

Long-term care facilities are closed to visitors until further notice

All incoming international travelers are required to isolate for 14 days upon arrival

Hospitals are limiting visitors but limitations vary by centre

Ontario: last updated 3/17 at 10:30 AM

Telehealth Ontario: 1-866-797-0000

177 cases, 69 new, 5 recovered, 1 death

Affected public health units include: Durham (1), Halton (1), Hamilton (9, +5), Middlesex London (2), Niagara (1), Ottawa (3), Peel (4), Sudbury (1), Toronto (11), Wellington Dufferin Guelph (1), York (6, +1)

Only cases from 3/16 on are counted under here based on how the site works

No hospitalizations since 3/16

Closings/Restrictions

All schools, restaurants, libraries, childcare facilities, theaters, public venues, and recreational spaces are closed

Events over 50 people (incl. parades and worship services) are prohibited until 3/31

P.E.I.: last updated 3/17 AM

1 case, in Queens County, connected to a cruise, no new cases

Closures/restrictions

Libraries and community events are closed/canceled

Child care facilities are closed for two weeks starting 3/17

Public schools are closed until April 6

General queries: call 1-800-958-6400

Business-related queries: call 1-866-222-1751

Québec: last updated 3/17 at 1 pm

74 cases, 24 new, no deaths

Affected regions include: Capitale Nationale (3, +1), Mauricie - Centre du Québec (3, +0), Estrie (9, +6), Montréal (22, +4), Chaudière-Appalaches (4, +0), Lanaudière (6, +3), Laurentides (7, +4), Montérégie (13, +3), and undetermined/outside Québec (7, +3).

State of health emergency as of 3/13

Closures/restrictions

Indoor gatherings of >250 people prohibited, many public buildings closed until further notice

Daycare/childcare facilities and all schools closed until 3/27

Elections scheduled for 3/15 have been rescheduled to after late April

Non-essential visits to hospitals and long-term care institutions are prohibited

Saskatchewan: last updated 3/16

8 cases (+2), no deaths

Restrictions/Closures

School K-12 is suspended indefinitely effective 3/20

Gatherings >250 people are prohibited, except for distributed places (malls, universities, etc)

Public gatherings >50 people with attendees who have traveled internationally in the last 14 days are canceled/prohibited

Hospital and long term care visitors are only allowed in end of life care

Dammit Saskatchewan, why are you making me download PDFs :(

Greece: last updated 3/17 at 6:45 pm local time

Note: I do not speak Greek, and I therefore am struggling to find official data from somewhere more granular than the WHO. I’m sourcing most of this from the WHO and from Ekathimerini, but if you know where I can find better/more up to date info, please let me know. Thank you!

387 total cases, 56 new, 14 recoveries

5 deaths (1 new)

Restrictions/Closures:

All arrivals to the country are required to isolate for 14 days

Beginning 3/19 at 6 am, the country is closed to non-Greek and EU nationals unless exceptional circumstances warrant

Parliament has suspended all committee meetings and restricted each party to one MP in attendance at a time

Businesses are closed starting Wednesday 3/18, with the exception of gas stations, pharmacies, and groceries

Supermarkets are restricting the number of patrons to allow 1 person per 10 square meters

Migrant camps on various islands are on total lockdown for 2 weeks

Religion is canceled until 3/30

Ireland: last updated 3/17

292 total cases, 69 new (nice), 2 deaths (0 new)

Community transmission is confirmed

The following regional breakdown is available of the new cases: 48 eastern, 5 north/west, 3 west, and 13 southern

Restrictions/Closures

All pubs & bars are closed until March 29. House parties are discouraged.

Schools, colleges, and childcare facilities are closed until March 29

Indoor gatherings of >100 people and outdoor gatherings >500 people are prohibited

State run cultural institutions are closed until further notice

The Netherlands: last updated 3/17 at 2 PM local time

1705 confirmed cases, 43 deaths

292 new cases, 19 new deaths

314 hospitalizations

Average age of decedents is 79, with a range from 63 to 94

The report of a decedent aged 59 years was in error, this is now corrected

Provinces affected include: Drenthe (17, +1), Flevoland (24, +2), Friesland (14, +1), Gelderland (173, +38), Groningen (10, +0), Limburg (197, +48), North Brabant (634, +80), North Holland (152, +36), Overijssel (45, +9), Utrecht (173, +33), South Holland (175, +39), and Zeeland (20, +3).

There are 70 non-residents/unknown location patients

Restrictions/Closures

Schools, restaurants/bars, sports and fitness clubs, sex clubs, saunas, and childcare facilities are closed until April 6

If it’s fun it’s probably closed unless it’s your house

New Zealand: last updated 3/17 in the morning

13 cases, 5 new

12 confirmed, 1 probable

2 in Wellington contracted in the USA (sorry guys :c)

1 in Dunedin contracted in Germany

2 family members of the case in Dunedin

No hospitalizations reported

Exposures are reported on the following flights and in the following locations:

AA83 on 3/14, Los Angeles to Auckland, seats 4A and 10H

NZ419 on 3/14, Auckland to Wellington, seats 1B and 1C

Logan Park HS in Dunedin, now closed for 48h while contact tracing and thorough cleaning occurs

If you are concerned about possible exposure please call Healthline (number below)

Testing capacity: 770/day, expected to be 1500/day by the end of the week

Anyone coming into the country from anywhere except a small list of other Pacific islands is directed to self-quarantine for 14 days. This started on 3/16 at 0100 and is expected to continue for at least the next few weeks.

New Zealanders currently overseas should register with SafeTravel (https://register.safetravel.govt.nz/login)

Healthline number: 0800 611 116

Norway: last updated 3/17 at 10 pm local time

I still don’t speak Norwegian so if I screwed up lemme know

1469 cases, 3 deaths (+0)

67 hospitalized (+14), 15 critical (+4)

139 new cases during the 24h of March 16

423 cases acquired in Norway, 757 acquired outside of Norway, the rest are undetermined. Community spread is confirmed.

Locations where people became infected include Austria (513, +0), Italy (148, +0), Switzerland (20, +2), UK (15, +1), Spain (18, +4), France (8, -2), USA (7), Iran (5), Germany (5), other countries with more than 3 cases (128), and other countries with less than 3 cases (18).

Breakdown of cases by area: Agder (67, -20), Innlandet (88, +0), Møre og Romsdal (20, +0), Nordland (11, +0), Oslo (329, +37), Rogaland (150, -14), Troms og Finnmark (24, +1), Trøndelag (61, -13), Vestfold og Telemark (59, -10), Vestland (141, +10), and Viken (358, -15)

I’m not sure if the numbers dropping means that those are people recovering or people being moved from place to place for intensive care/hospitalization. If you speak Norwegian and can clarify, please shoot me a message!

Restrictions/closures

The whole country is under shelter in place type restrictions for two weeks. Hang in there, y’all.

Switzerland: last updated 3/17 at 1:45 pm local time

2650 cases, 19 deaths (+5)

Restrictions/closures:

Whole country is on lockdown as of 3/16: no entry or exit until further notice (maximum of 6 months)

schools are closed until 4/19

all events are canceled

all personal service establishments are closed

United Kingdom in general: last updated 3/17 at 9 am

Boris is hopefully starting to realise how severe this thing is, fuck Boris and his stupid cronies for not acting earlier. I’m still furious about how this has been bungled in multiple countries.

Where’s that milkshake guy who got Nigel? He could probably hit Boris from 6 ft away to both do a public service and maintain social distancing.

Given the numbers, it might be too little too late. I personally would encourage everyone in the UK to shelter in place, but I have zero authority there.

1,950 total cases (+26.3%), 407 are new today

55 total deaths as of 3/16, deaths on 3/17 have not been announced

England: last updated 3/17 at 9 am

1,557 total cases, 361 new

Affected UTLAs with at least 10 cases are as follows: Barnet (24), Bexley (14), Birmingham (20), Brent (24), Bromley (23), Buckingham (23), Cambridge (12), Camden (20), Cornwall and Isles of Scilly (10), Cumbria (22), Devon (24), Ealing (21), Enfield (10), Essex (21), Gloucestershire (11), Greenwich (19), Hackney and City of London (22), Hammersmith and Fulham (23), Hampshire (69), Haringey (17), Harrow (15), Hertfordshire (36), Hillingdon (16), Hounslow (15), Islington (11), Kensington (49), Kent (18), Lambeth (43), Lancashire (15), Leeds (11), Lewisham (18), Liverpool (11), Manchester (14), Merton (13), Newham (17), Northamptonshire (12), Nottingham (12), Nottinghamshire (13), Oldham (10), Oxfordshire (25), Slough (12), Southwark (58), Staffordshire (10), Stockport (10), Surrey (30), Sutton (10), Tameside (10), Tower Hamlets (23), Trafford (12), Walsall (13), Wandsworth (21), West Sussex (10), Westminster (58), and Wolverhampton (18)

I had to download an Excel spreadsheet situation for this, hopefully it is being updated the way I think it is. Let me know if these numbers are totally off.

Also, I am alphabetizing starting today because the hardest-hit areas will change day to day. Tomorrow will have deltas and all that good stuff.

My dad is from Cheshire, I know a fair amount about the UK, I was still fucking SHOOK by the fact that Nottingham and Nottinghamshire are two separate places.

Also “Slough” is kind of a gross name for somewhere, are y’all ok?

Deaths are not being reported by the PHS but I will do my best to split these out in the next few editions using news reports etc. It will hopefully be included by the 3/18 edition but no promises? If you have a good source for deaths by county/area, please let me know.

Scotland: last updated 3/17 at 2 pm local time

195 cases, 24 new

2 deaths, 1 new

Affected health boards are as follows: Ayrshire and Arran (6, -1), Borders (7, +0), Dumfries and Galloway (1, +0), Fife (7, +0), Forth Valley (12, +2), Grampian (22, +10), Greater Glasgow and Clyde (49, +5), Highland (5, +3), Lanarkshire (21, +1), Lothian (30, +1), Shetland (15, +0), and Tayside (20, +3)

Maybe this is all of them? Time will tell.

If anyone knows whether negative numbers are patients dying, being moved, or recovering, please let me know.

Wales: last updated 3/17 at 4:30 pm

136 cases, 12 new

2 deaths, 1 new

Areas reporting deaths are: Swansea (1)

Affected areas include: Blaenau Gwent County (8, +1), Bridgend County (3, +2), Caerphilly County (15, +1), Carmarthenshire County (7, +0), Ceredigion County (1, +0), City & County of Swansea (22, -1), City of Cardiff (14, +1), Conwy County (1, +0), Flintshire County (1, +0), Isle of Anglesey (2, +0), Monmouthshire County (8, +0), Neath Port Talbot (11, +0), Newport City (24, +3), Pembrokeshire (2, +0), Powys County (7, +2), Rhondda Cynon Taf County (2, +0), Torfaen County (3, +1) Vale of Glamorgan County (1, +0), and Wrexham County (2, +0).

Note that some of these numbers have changed more than you might see from looking at yesterday’s report; this is because residential locations of patients are being confirmed. 0 cases remain unlocalized and 2 are residents outside of Wales.

Northern Ireland: last updated 3/17 at 2 pm

62 cases, 10 new

Health dept is not providing more detail than this at this time as far as I can tell

If you know more or know where I can find more info, please let me know!

US in general: updated 3/17 at 4 pm

4,226 total cases, 739 new

75 deaths, 8 new (1.75% mortality rate)

54 jurisdictions are reporting cases: 50 states, DC, Puerto Rico, Guam, and US Virgin Islands

Shelter in place orders and curfews are coming into effect in lots of places

Alabama: updated 3/17 at 3:30 pm

39 cases, 11 new

0 deaths

Affected counties include: Baldwin (1, +0), Elmore (2, +1), Lee (3, +2), Jefferson (21, +4), Limestone (1, +0), Montgomery (2, +1), Shelby (4, +1), and Tuscaloosa (3, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Madison (1) and St. Clair (1)

State hotline: 1-888-264-2256

Arkansas: updated 3/17

22 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Cleburne, Cleveland, Desha, Garland, Jefferson, Lincoln, Pulaski, and Saline

Exact numbers by county are not available from the state department of health

Y’all have a county called YELL, that’s the best county name I’ve seen yet

Graphic design is their passion

State hotline: 1-800-803-7847

Arizona: updated 3/17 at 11:36 AM

20 cases, 2 new, no deaths

Affected counties include: Graham (1, +0), Maricopa (9, +1), Pima (4, +0), and Pinal (5, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Navajo (1)

Community spread is confirmed in: Maricopa, Pima, and Pinal counties

Closures/Restrictions:

“Strong recommendation” that restaurants in areas of community spread close their dine-in services

Recommendation to cancel/postpone gatherings >10 people

Schools are closed through 3/27

State hotline (rolled into poison control): 844-542-8201

California: last updated 3/16 at 6 pm

The Governor has recommended the following:

Those with chronic health conditions and those over 65 should shelter in place.

Gatherings over 250 people should be canceled.

Drinking establishments should be closed but restaurants can operate at 50% capacity.

Hospitals and long term care facilities should prohibit visitors except for end of life situation

Total cases not including the ones at Miramar (discussed below): 472, with 11 total deaths

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Los Angeles (1, +1), Placer (1, +0), Riverside (3, +3), Sacramento (2, +0), San Mateo (1, +0), Santa Clara (4, +2)

The following counties report recoveries: Humboldt (1), San Benito (2)

The following counties report numbers of hospitalizations: Los Angeles (2), San Diego (9, +1), Santa Clara (56, +4), Tulare (1, +0)

Affected counties include: Alameda (27, +9), Amador (1, +0), Calaveras (2, +0), Contra Costa (39, +5), Fresno (2, +0), Humboldt (1, +0), Imperial (2, +0), Los Angeles (144, +50), Madera (1, +0), Marin (9, +0), Nevada (1, +0), Orange (29, +12), Placer (8, +0), Riverside (15, +0), Sacramento (40, +7) San Benito (3, +0), San Bernardino (2, +1), San Diego (51, +18), San Francisco (43, +3), San Joaquin (13, +5), San Luis Obispo (3, +0), San Mateo (64, +23), Santa Barbara (2, +1), Santa Clara (155, +17), Santa Cruz (13, +4), Shasta (1, +0), Solano (8, -1), Sonoma (6, +1), Stanislaus (3, +0), Tulare (3, +1), Ventura (10, +5), and Yolo (4, +2)

Note regarding San Diego: The four federally quarantined people are not included in the county statistics. Cases of non-residents diagnosed in San Diego are included.

Unaffected counties include: Alpine, Butte, Colusa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Glenn, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Napa, Plumas, Sierra, Siskiyou, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tuolumne, Yuba

Counties with confirmed community transmission include: Los Angeles, Marin, Orange, Riverside, Sacramento, San Francisco, San Joaquin, Santa Clara, Sonoma, and Yolo

Newly affected counties include: Monterey (2)

Closures/Restrictions by County

Alameda: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Alpine: County activities are canceled, schools closed, no non-essential services

Contra Costa: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Del Norte: Schools closed through 4/20

El Dorado: Schools closed through 3/20

Los Angeles: gatherings >50 people prohibited

Marin: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Mendocino: Modified schooling starting 3/17, gatherings >50 prohibited

Mono: Schools closed through 3/30, Alterra Mountain closed, libraries closed through 3/31

Monterey: Shelter in Place beginning 3/18 until 4/8

Napa: gatherings >50 people prohibited

Nevada: Schools are closed until 4/13, libraries closed until 4/12

Orange: Shelter in Place until 3/31

Riverside: Schools & daycares are closed, gatherings >10 people prohibited

Sacramento: Shelter in Place until further notice

San Benito: Shelter in Place until 4/7

San Bernardino: County operated attractions are closed

San Diego: gatherings >50 people prohibited, restaurants are carry-out and drive through only, all schools are closed, and entertainment establishments are closed

San Francisco: Shelter in Place until 4/7

San Luis Obispo: Alcohol sales on site are banned through 3/18

San Mateo: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Barbara: Dining is takeout/drive through only

Santa Clara: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Cruz: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Siskiyou: gatherings >50 prohibited, hospital/LTAC visitors prohibited

Stanislaus: Gatherings of >1000 people are prohibited indoor and outdoor from 3/16 to 3/31

Tuolumne: Schools are closed from 3/16 to 3/30

Ventura: All schools and public libraries are closed starting 3/16 until further notice

Yolo: Many schools are closed at the local level, non-essential gatherings canceled through 3/31

School closures listed here: https://www.yolocounty.org/health-human-services/adults/communicable-disease-investigation-and-control/novel-coronavirus-2019;

Counties with no closures/restrictions beyond those mandated by the state: Alpine, Amador, Butte, Calaveras, Colusa, Fresno, Glenn, Humboldt, Imperial, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Madera, Merced, Modoc, Placer, Plumas, San Joaquin, Shasta, Sierra, Solano, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tulare, and Yuba

Drive through testing is available in Marin County

Colorado - last updated 3/16 at 4:00 pm

183 cases (+52)

2 deaths (+1)

20 hospitalizations

Counties reporting deaths include: El Paso (1) and Larimer (1)

Affected counties include: Adams (8, +2), Arapahoe (18, +3),Boulder (8, +5), Clear Creek (2, +1), Denver (38, +14), Douglas (10, +2), Eagle (34, +12), El Paso (6, +2), Gunnison (11, +3), Jefferson (17, +5), Larimer (1, +0), Mesa (1, +0), Pitkin (11, +9), Pueblo (1, +0), Summit (3, +2), and Weld (5, +0)

4 cases are designated “unknown”

Out of state visitors are now included in the tally of the county where they were diagnosed/are being treated

Confirmed community spread

Newly affected counties include: Garfield (2), Routt (2)

Drive through testing is available in: Denver and Lowry

Residents of Gunnison, Eagle, Summit, Pitkin are recommended to minimize social contact due to potential exposures

Anyone who visited the Colorado Springs Bridge center in late Feb-early Mar may have been exposed, call the DPH for more information

Closures/restrictions

Public places are closed, restaurants are takeout only until 4/16

Gambling is canceled

Schools are iffy, check your local district news

Colorado’s new website looks way nicer but takes 5ever to load

Dark colorado give me the forbidden numbers

Connecticut - last update 3/17 at 4:30 pm

68 cases, 27 new

The following counties are affected: Fairfield (48, +19), Hartford (7, +3), Litchfield (5, +1), New Haven (8, +4)

This continues to support my conjecture that Connecticut only has 4 counties

Restrictions/Closures

No gatherings >50 people until further notice

Nursing home visits restricted

Schools closed through 3/30

Restaurants are carryout/drive through only through 4/30

Fitness/recreation centers and movie theaters closed through 4/30

Gambling is canceled until the end of April

Delaware: last update 3/17 at 2:55 pm

16 cases (+8), 0 deaths

Affected counties include: New Castle (15, +7) and Sussex (1).

Update: you apparently have three counties

Restrictions/closures:

Events over >100 people are encouraged to cancel/reschedule

Schools closed through 3/27

District of Columbia: last update 3/17 at 7 pm

31 cases (+14), no deaths

There’s no counties in DC, you can’t trick me

Restrictions/Closures

Food service/drinking establishments are restricted to <250 people, <6 people/table, no standing or bar seating, and tables separated by 6 feet

Nightclubs etc are closed

Most government stuff is telework so if you want to report a Ponzi scheme you have to email them or call them

Florida - last updated 3/17 at 6:03 PM

216 (+61) cases and 7 deaths (+3)

Community transmission remains unconfirmed but highly likely

Affected counties include: Alachua (6, +4), Broward (55, +16), Charlotte (1, +0), Citrus (2, +1), Clay (4, +1), Collier (7, +1), Duval (10, +5), Escambia (1, +0), Hillsborough (9, +4), Lake (1, +0), Lee (7, +3), Manatee (7, +2), Miami-Dade (43, +20), Nassau (1, +0) Okaloosa (2, +1), Orange (6, +3), Osceola (7, +3), Palm Beach (13, +5), Pasco (2, +0), Pinellas (4, +0), Santa Rosa (1, +0), Sarasota (4, +1) Seminole (4, +0), St. Johns (3, +1) Volusia (9, +2)

Newly affected counties include: Brevard (1) and Polk (1)

State hotline/call center: 1 (866) 779-6121

Georgia: last updated 3/17 at 11:34 AM

146 cases (+25),1 death (+0)

Affected counties include: Bartow (10, +1), Charlton (1, +0), Cherokee (7, +0), Clayton (4, -1), Clarke (3, +0), Cobb (25, +3), Coweta (3, +1), Dekalb (15, +5), Dougherty (6, +0), Fayette (5, +0), Floyd (6, +2), Forsyth (1, +0), Fulton (33, +6), Gordon (2, +0), Gwinnett (7, +2), Hall (1, +0), Henry (2, +0), Lowndes (4, +1), Lee (2, +0), Newton (1, +0), Paulding (1, +0), Polk (1, +0), Troup (2, +1)

Newly affected counties include: Barrow (1), Columbia (1), Rockdale (1), and Richmond (1).

Closures/Restrictions

USG universities are closed through 3/29 and will be online after that for the semester

Athens-Clarke County has a curfew in place from 5pm to 9 am probably. There’s a lot of uncertainty as I have heard. I will try to clarify this in tomorrow's edition provided the government clarifies things.

Asks from Georgia Anon can provide more details

Illinois: last updated 3/17

160 confirmed cases (+55), 1 death (+1)

Confirmed community spread

Affected counties include Champaign (1), Clinton (2), Cook (107), Cumberland (1), DuPage (26), Kane (3), Lake (7), McHenry (2), Peoria (1), Sangamon (3), St. Clair (2), Whiteside (1), Will (2), Winnebago (1), and Woodford (1)

ILDPH started publishing numbers for each county, YAY.

Med students have been infected (not at my school, but still yikes)

Deaths are reported in the following counties: Cook (1)

Closings/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are closed (except for carryout and drive through) until 3/30

All gatherings >50 people prohibited

Gyms/fitness centers/clubs/theaters are closed

DMV is closed! I personally hate the IL DMV so this isn’t like, sad news in particular…..

Community colleges and public schools are closed - like in other places I will attempt to include county-by-county news soon.

The IL governor dunked on Trump for a really long time during his press conference tonight and it was totally fucking awesome.

Indiana: last updated 3/17 at 10 AM

30 cases, 2 deaths

Affected counties include: Adams (1), Bartholomew (1), Boone (1), Floyd (1), Franklin (2), Hamilton (1), Hendricks (3), Howard (2), Johnson (3), Lake (2), La Porte (1), Marion (9), Noble (1), St. Joseph (1), and Wells (1)

Deaths are being reported in the following counties: Johnson (1) and Marion (1)

Indiana, good job on your website. Thanks for making this easy on me.

Iowa: last updated 3/17

29 cases (+7)

Affected counties include: Allamakee (2, +0), Carroll (1, +0), Dallas (3, +2), Harrison (1, +0), Johnson (18, +3), Polk (1, +0), and Pottawattamie (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Adair (1) and Black Hawk (1)

Community spread confirmed

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed for 4 weeks starting 3/16

Public places closed, restaurants carryout only until further notice

Kansas: last updated 3/17

16 confirmed cases (+5), 1 death

Affected counties include: Butler (1, +0), Franklin (1, +0), Johnson (10, +2), and Wyandotte (3, +2)

Newly affected counties include: Douglas (1)

Deaths are being reported in the following counties: Wyandotte (1)

Closures/Restrictions

Schools closed through 3/23

Gatherings >50 people prohibited

Public places must maintain a 6ft bubble

Phone line: 1-866-534-3463

Kentucky: last updated 3/17 at 4 pm local time

27 cases (+5), 1 death (+0)

Counties reporting deaths: Bourbon (1)

Counties reporting recoveries: Harrison (1)

Affected counties include: Bourbon (1, +0), Clark (1, +0), Fayette (6, +1), Harrison (6, +0), Jefferson (9, +3), Montgomery (1, +0), and Nelson (1, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Lyon (1)

Closures/Restrictions

Restaurants and bars closed to in-person service

State Capitol closed to nonessential personnel

Entertainment/nonessential services are closed

Schools are closed statewide

Phone line: (800) 722-5725 (rolled in with poison control)

Louisiana: last updated 5:30 pm 3/17

196 cases reported, 60 new

4 deaths, 1 new

Parishes affected: Ascension (1, +0), Bossier (1, +0), Caddo (4, +1), Jefferson (35, +14), Lafourche (2, +0), Orleans (136, +42), St. Bernard (2, +0), St. Charles (3, +0), St. John the Baptist (1, +0), St. Tammany (6, +0), and Terrebonne (3, +1)

New parishes affected: East Baton Rouge (1) and Washington (1)

Parishes reporting deaths: Orleans (4, +1)

Maryland: last updated 3/17 at 10 am

57 cases (+20), 0 deaths

Counties affected: Anne Arundel (3, +2), Baltimore (6, +2), Baltimore City (1, +0), Carroll (1, +0), Charles (1, +0), Harford (2, +0), Howard (3, +2), Montgomery (24, +9), Prince George’s (14, +4), Talbot (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Frederick (1)

Community spread confirmed

Exposure risk advisory for Lorien Elkridge

Closures/restrictions

Casinos, racetracks and other gambling situations are closed

Gatherings >250 people prohibited

All schools closed through 3/27

Senior centers closed until further notice

Elections postponed - vote by mail implemented for urgent elections

Massachusetts: last updated 3/17 at 4 pm

218 cases (+21)

Affected counties include: Barnstable (2, +1), Berkshire (14, +3), Bristol (5, +3), Essex (8, +0), Hampden (1, +0), Middlesex (89, +6), Norfolk (43, +7), Plymouth (5, +2) Suffolk (42, +6), and Worcester (8, +2)

1 case of undetermined location

21 hospitalizations (+7)

Michigan: last updated 3/17 at 2 pm

54 cases (+21), 25 hospitalizations, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Bay (1, +0), Charlevoix (1, +0), Ingham (2, +1), Kent (5, +0), Macomb (8, +2), Monroe (1, +0), Montcalm (1, +0), Oakland (16, +2), St. Clair (2, +0), Washtenaw (7, +0), and Wayne (17, +3)

Wayne County includes Detroit (8 cases, +2)

Newly affected counties include: Jackson (1), Leelanau (1), Otsego (1), and Ottawa (1)

Two employees of the corrections department have tested positive

Jackson County Probation Office and Detroit Detention Center have both been exposed, contact the health department if you have been exposed

Closures/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are carryout/drive through only

Public spaces (casinos, theaters, etc) closed

Public offices open by appt only

Minnesota: last updated 3/17 at 12:00

60 cases (+6)

Affected counties include: Anoka (3-5), Benton (1-2), Blue Earth (1-2), Carver (1-2), Dakota (6-20), Hennepin (20+), Olmstead (3-5), Ramsey (6-20), Renville (1-2), Stearns (3-5), Waseca (1-2), Washington (1-2), and Wright (1-2)

Still working with just ranges due to everything popping off today. I apologise for the imprecise data.

Drive through testing available in Olivia

Missouri

13 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Boone (1), Cass (2), Cole (1), Greene (4), Henry (1), Jackson (1), St. Louis City (1), St. Louis County (4)

Hotline: 877-435-8411

Montana: last updated 3/16 at 7:22 pm

8 cases (+2)

Affected counties not being reported at this time, and due to everything being all the time all the time I haven’t sorted out where the cases are. Please forgive me and watch this space, I’ll try to get to it asap.

Closures/Restrictions

Public schools closed until 3/30

Many counties have closed libraries

State of Emergency

Nebraska: last updated 3/17

Community transmission confirmed: many locations in Douglas County are potential places where transmission has occurred; if you live or have traveled to Douglas County (Omaha), please check the Douglas County COVID-19 monitoring site at: https://www.douglascountyhealth.com/latest-news.

There were also two exposures in Knox County on March 5, at basketball games at Lincoln Southwest HS and North Star HS.

21 cases (+2), no deaths

Affected counties include: Cass (1), Douglas (18, +3) and Knox (1)

Nebraska, please update your shit. (Or possibly I can’t find the updated shit)

Hotline (bling): (402) 552-6645

New Hampshire: last updated 3/17 at 9 AM

26 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Carroll (1), Grafton (7), Hillsborough (4), and Rockingham (14)

Nashua (1) is included in Hillsborough county totals

Exposure reported at the Manchester DMV on 3/2, 3/3, 3/4, 3/5, and 3/10.

My desire to avoid the DMV at all costs continues to be vindicated

Your governor has a really good last name, btw

He announced a state of emergency

Sununununununu

New Jersey : last updated 3/16 at 2 pm

267 cases (+89), 2 deaths (+1)

Affected counties include: Bergen (84, +23), Burlington (5, +2), Camden (3, +0), Essex (32, +12), Hudson (24, +5), Hunterdon (4, +3), Mercer (6, +5), Middlesex (22, +5), Monmouth (22, +8), Morris (7, +2), Ocean (3, +0), Passaic (10, +2), Somerset (7, +2), and Union (15, +7)

17 cases are unassigned to a county

Closures/Restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people

Restaurants, bars, entertainment venues, and other public spaces are closed

Curfew in effect from 8 pm to 5 am, anyone out without a valid reason is committing a misdemeanor and is also a total dick, don’t expose people

New York: last updated 3/17 at 8 PM

1,374 cases (+424), 10 deaths

Affected counties include: Albany (23, +11), Allegany (2, +0), Broome (1, +0), Delaware (1, +0), Dutchess (16, +6), Erie (7, +1), Greene (2, +0), Herkimer (1, +0), Monroe (10, +0), Montgomery (1, +0), Nassau (131, +22), Onondaga (2, +1), Ontario (1, +0), Orange (15, +4), Putnam (2, +0), Rockland (22, +6), Saratoga (9, +4), Schenectady (5, +1), Suffolk (84, +21, Tioga (1, +0), Tompkins (2, +1), Ulster (8, +1), Westchester (380, +160)

NYC has 644 cases (+351) as of 3/17 at 2:30 pm

Areas/counties reporting deaths are: NYC (7), Rockland (1)

I can’t find the two others, if you have information leading to the whereabouts of these last two deaths in New York State please let me know. There is no reward other than my gratitude.

Newly affected counties include: Clinton (1), Rensselaer (1), Sullivan (1), and Wyoming (1)

Why do so many states name their counties after OTHER STATES

Drive through testing in New Rochelle, Long Island, Staten Island, and Rockland County

Closures/Restrictions

Bars, restaurants, entertainment venues closed

No gatherings >50 people

Public schools closed until 4/1

Village elections delayed until 4/28

New legal protections and stuff from the state came down today

Job protection and pay are guaranteed for those quarantined

Permanent comprehensive sick leave policy

If you are a retired doctor or nurse, New York needs you. Like, real bad. Contact the state or local health dept to see how you can help.

North Carolina: last updated 3/17 at 8:57 AM

40 cases (+7), 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Brunswick (1, +0), Cabarrus (1, +0), Chatham (1, +0), Craven (1, +0), Durham (1, +0), Forsyth (2, +0), Harnett (3, +1), Johnston (2, +0), Mecklenburg (7, +3), Onslow (1, +0), Wake (15, +1), Watauga (1, +0), Wayne (1, +0), and Wilson (1, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Iredell (1) and Sampson (1)

Advisory for an exposure at Raleigh convention center on March 8

Please call Wake County if you were there, they are tracking exposures

Closures/Restrictions

Schools are closed statewide until 3/30

Events >100 people canceled

Restaurants and bars are closed

Ohio: last updated 3/17 at 2 pm

67 confirmed cases (+17)

17 hospitalizations (+3)

Affected counties include: Belmont (2, +0), Butler (6, +0), Cuyahoga (31, +7), Franklin (4, +1), Geauga (1, +0), Lorain (4, +1), Lucas (1, +0), Medina (3, +1), Stark (3, +0), Summit (4, +2), Trumbull (2, +0), Tuscarawas (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Coshocton (2), Lake (1), and Mahoning (1)

Closures/Restrictions

Bars/restaurants are closed

Gatherings >50 people canceled

Oregon: last updated 3/17 at 9 AM

65 cases (+26), 1 death (+0)

Counties reporting deaths: Multnomah (1)

13 hospitalized at time of positive test

The following counties are affected: Clackamas (6, +5), Deschutes (6, +2), Douglas (1, +0), Jackson (2, +0), Klamath (1, +0), Linn (15, +5), Marion (4, +2), Multnomah (3, +2), Polk (1, +0), Umatilla (2, +0), Washington (21, +8), and Yamhill (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Benton (2)

Pennsylvania: last updated 3/17 at 5 pm

GRITTY HAS SPOKEN: https://twitter.com/GrittyNHL/status/1239962668208779266

96 total cases (+20)

Counties affected include: Allegheny (7, +2) Bucks (8, +3), Chester (4, +2), Cumberland (10, +5), Delaware (9, +2), Lehigh (1, +0), Luzerne (1, +0), Monroe (8, +0), Montgomery (32, +2), Northampton (1, +0), Philadelphia (10, +2), Pike (1, +0), Washington (2, +1), Wayne (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Beaver (1)

Closures/restrictions:

Restaurants and bars are closed in the following counties until 3/30: Allegheny, Bucks, Chester, Delaware, and Montgomery

Rhode Island: last updated 3/16

21 confirmed cases (+1), no deaths

Chanston High School West had an exposure; 1700 people are currently quarantined after this exposure

I will attempt to sort out county level data soon, since apparently y’all have counties

If anyone knows where to find more frequently updated information than that from RIDOH, please let me know. I apologise for this data being out of date.

South Carolina: last updated 3/17 at 4:35 pm

47 cases (+13), 1 death (+1)

Affected counties include: Anderson (2), Beaufort (4), Calhoun (1), Charleston (3), Fairfield (1), Greenville (2), Horry (4), Kershaw (22), Lancaster (2), Lexington (3), Richland (1), Spartanburg (1), and York (1)

Deaths are reported in the following counties: Lexington (1)

South Dakota: last updated 3/17

11 confirmed cases (+1), 1 death (+1)

Affected counties include: Beadle (1, +0), Bon Homme (1, +0), Charles Mix (1, +0), Davison (1, +0), McCook (1, +0), Minnehaha (5, +1), and Pennington (1, +0)

Closures/Restrictions:

Schools closed week of 3/16

Tennessee: last updated 3/17 at 2 pm

73 (+21) cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Campbell (1, +0), Davidson (42, +17), Hamilton (1, +0), Jefferson (1, +0), Knox (2, +1), Rutherford (1, +0), Sevier (1, +0), Shelby (2, +0), Sullivan (1, +0), and Williamson (21, +3)

Texas: last updated 3/17 at 12 PM

64 (+7) total cases, 1 death (+1)

Highly likely that there has been community transmission, unconfirmed currently

Affected counties include: Bell (1, +0), Bexar (3, +0), Brazoria (2, +0), Collin (6, +0), Dallas (9, +1), El Paso (3, +2), Fort Bend (9, +0), Galveston (1, +0), Gregg (1, +0), Harris (10, +0), Hays (1, +0), Lavaca (1, +0), Matagorda (1, +0), Montgomery (3, +0), Smith (3, -1), Tarrant (3, +0), and Travis (3, +1)

Newly affected counties include: Denton (1) and Webb (1)

Hail Satan for the best ever death metal band out of denton

(this is what the kids call a Reference)

2 cases are pending county assignment

Utah: last updated 3/17 at 12:45 pm

51 cases (+22)

Affected health districts include: Davis County (4, +0), Salt Lake County (22, +4), Southwest Utah (1, +0), Summit County (15, +4), Tooele (1, +0), Utah County (1, +0), Wasatch County (2, +1), and Weber-Morgan (4, +2)

Newly affected districts include: Bear River (1)

I wonder what Bear River has in its rivers

Definitely not bears

Community spread confirmed in the following counties: Summit and Utah

Exposure at Wasatch High School identified

Schools, Mormonism, skiing, and restaurants are canceled until further notice

The zoo and a bunch of museums are canceled too :(

Vermont: last updated 3/17 at 1 PM

17 cases total (+5)

Affected counties include: Bennington (3), Chittenden (4), Orange (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), and Windsor (3)

County by county data was not updated on 3/17

Hospitalizations are reported in the following counties: Bennington (3), Chittenden (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), Windsor (1)

Closures/restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people or >50% capacity, whichever is lower

Schools are closed starting 3/18

Bars/restaurants are closed until 4/6

Virginia: last updated 3/17

67 cases (+16)

Affected counties/cities include: Alexandria City (2, +0), Arlington (13, +4), Chesterfield (4, +2), Fairfax (12, +2), Hanover (1, +0), Harrisonburg City (1, +0), James City (12, +2), Loudoun (5, +0), Prince Edward (1, +0), Prince William (4, +1), Spotsylvania (1, +0), Stafford (1, +0), Virginia Beach City (4, +0), and York (1, +0)

Newly affected areas include: Charlottesville City (1), Goochland (1), Henrico (2), Williamsburg City (1)

Are we being pranked by the Commonwealth naming something Goochland? Studies are inconclusive

Washington State: Last updated 3/17 at 3:15

1012 total cases (+108), 52 deaths (+4)

Current mortality rate: 5.1%

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Clark (2, +2), Grant (1, +0), King (43, +0), and Snohomish (6, +2).

Affected counties include: Clark (4, +0), Columbia (1, +0), Grant (7, +4), Grays Harbor (1, +0), Island (14, +7), Jefferson (3, +0), King (569, +81), Kitsap (7, +0), Kittitas (3, +0), Lewis (1, +0), ,Lincoln (1, +0), Pierce (45, +7), Skagit (9, +2), Snohomish (254, +54), Spokane (4, +1), Thurston (5, +1), Whatcom (6, +3), and Yakima (5, +1).

70 cases are currently unassigned to a county

Newly affected counties include: Chelan (2) and Klickitat (1)

Closures/restrictions: widespread, will have county-by-county info soon.

Hotline: 1-800-525-0127

Wisconsin: last updated 3/17 at 2 PM

72 total cases (+25), 0 deaths

Recovery is being reported by the following counties: Dane (1)

This is updated every Friday, next update expected 3/20

Affected counties include: Dane (19, +9), Fond du Lac (11, +0), Milwaukee (24, +11), Outagamie (1, +0), Pierce (1, +0), Racine (1, +0), Sheboygan (3, +0), Waukesha (4, +1), Winnebago (3, +0), and Wood (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Kenosha (4)

Community spread is confirmed in the following counties: Dane, Kenosha, and Milwaukee

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed starting 3/18 for minimum of two weeks

No gatherings >10 people until further notice

Wyoming: last updated 3/17 AM

11 cases (+1)

Affected counties include: Fremont, Laramie, and Sheridan

Today’s Hot Tips

If you’re a parent, you’ve likely been charged with homeschooling your kids, no small feat not in the middle of a pandemic. A kind reader (@halcyonhowl) hooked me up with a collection of resources that I’m excited to share with you all!

Find it here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rcV0cLYYj7TftfyTYU-3Z1bvI90tOqAz6yR7XenzYHA/edit?usp=sharing

I’m not a teacher by any means but I checked out some of these resources and they seem super super cool.

My personal favorite resource is SciShow, and they make a great podcast for curious adults called SciShow Tangents! Check it out here: www.youtube.com/scishow

Hand Washing Song of the Day

If you hate singing happy birthday while you wash your hands (I certainly do) try Bohemian Rhapsody!

Sing from the beginning through “as if nothing really matters” as dramatically as possible to follow CDC handwashing guidelines! Use soap and water for maximum efficacy. And then finish the song, you monster.

If you’re this talented, you can sing it on a rubber chicken. And then sanitize the chicken with bleach. And wash your hands again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDrdZM1iGrc

Good News, Everyone!

The Shedd Aquarium penguin adventures continue!

Check it out here: https://twitter.com/shedd_aquarium/status/1239661654629023747?s=21

People in Italy are singing from the balconies, whereas New Yorkers are yelling “GO THE FUCK HOME” to people who are out. Different ways of coping, I suppose…

Italy’s lockdown is working - transmission has slowed dramatically over the past few days!

Vaccine testing continues in the United States, where testing kits are finally becoming more widely available.

China has sent the United States a massive aid package with tests and personal protective equipment (PPE) since many hospitals in the States are completely out of materials.

Chill Cat Corner

This is a thread of cat cams for people in quarantine, it’s totally amazing and will provide you with so much fucking serotonin.

https://twitter.com/margiehousley/status/1239545102831366144?s=20

This makes me want to post pictures of my cats all the time though

About this newsletter

I’m Emily, I’m a 4th year med student w/ a degree in molecular biology. I started this because I’m an infectious disease and epidemiology nerd and also all my friends have questions & anxiety. Hi internet!

The archive/proper website is located at coronaextranewsletter.wordpress.com.

All this info is sourced from regional & national public health organizations, plus the WHO. It’s as up to date as humanly possible. I’ve been beaming information about this outbreak directly into my brain 24/7 but I still miss stuff. Please let me know if I miss something!

Most public health departments stop updating their information around 4-5 PM local time on weekdays. That means that the earliest this will come out is around 6 PM Pacific time on weekdays going forward. On weekends things update more sporadically and earlier, so who knows what I’ll do then, but I’ll do my best.

The excellent title is courtesy of @marywhal and the Wordpress site is courtesy of @molly0xFFF and @goblintinkerer, thank you all!

For More Information

JHU COVID-19 data center: https://gisanddata.maps.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

List of peer-reviewed publications: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/publications.html

WHO FAQ: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses

CDC cases in the US: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html, this also has links to each state’s health dept

#corona extra #coronavirus #covid19 #covid corner #sars-cov-2 #public health #quarantine

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joonsrack · 4 years

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+PAIRING: Kim Seokjin x Kim Namjoon

+GENRE: SFW, slow burn, ficlet (do people use that term anymore?) mini series, it’s not exactly fluff but it’s soft i guess.

+THE ONE WHERE SEOKJIN IS A PART TIME COP AND A FULL TIME NAMJOONSITTER SERIES: Part I | Part II | Part III

+WORD COUNT: ~3k

+SUMMARY:

“You know hyung, that’s why even though you've got that face, you're still single; you can’t see a good opportunity even when it moves next door.”

“Excuse me?” Seokjin says, feeling pretty insulted. He chose to be single, single didn’t chose him.

+WARNINGS: Very brief mention of sexual harassment, abuse of italics.

Awkward is not strong enough a word to describe how meeting Namjoon in their building is.

How do you even act around your attractive new next door neighbour on which you pulled a gun on your first meeting? Jimin is laughing forever, the asshole.

Plus, Jimin keeps telling him he needs to take him out, to 'apologize', but the fucker has already guilt tripped a ride in the police cruiser out of him (without the lights, thank you very much), what more is he supposed to do?

“You know hyung, that’s why even though you've got that face, you're still single; you can’t see a good opportunity even when it moves next door.”

“Excuse me?” Seokjin says, feeling pretty insulted. He chose to be single, single didn’t chose him.

“Oh come on, you’re life’s prime example that a good face doesn’t equate having game.” Jimin says, and finds himself two second away from needing a new best friend and roof.

“I don’t know how you came to the conclusion that I had any interest for Namjoon—”

“Hyung, you wrote his name instead of yours on your last report.”

“I was distracted.”

“You downloaded all of their songs even though you despise rap songs.”

“My taste can evolve!”

“You looked him up on facebook and instagram without following or sending a friend request.”

“I—” he starts, but pauses.

Yeah, that last one made it pretty obvious.

A god given opportunity presents itself, and even Seokjin can admit this must be faith. Or fatality. He’s hoping it’s the first one.

He’s coming back home, arms loaded with groceries, and almost turns around and tuck tails once he catches sight of a tall shadow standing in the hallway. He freezes when he hears the tell tale sound of metal snapping,

followed by a low groan that will haunt his dreams forever. He sneaks a look over his shoulder to catch Kim Namjoon, head in his hands, looking… very blond. And despondent. But blond, hi. Gone is the dark silver, his hair bleached almost white.

Seokjin takes a deep calming breath, hoping this will not go as badly as he knows it will. It’s not like it can go worse than their first meeting, so he can at least find joy in that.

“Hello there,” he says, taking slow steps towards the man.

Namjoon takes one look at him, then looks away, avoiding his eyes as red blossoms on his cheeks.

“Before you pull out your gun; as we have already established, I live here, so this is not me trying to break in.”

Ouch.

Seokjin chuckles to cover up the fact that he just got served.

As he gets closer, he spies something in Namjoon’s hand, and; yep, that’s half a key. He could bet his handsome face that the second half is stuck in the lock.

“Looks like you’ll have to call someone for that one.” Seokjin says, approaching the man carefully like he’s a wounded animal. He definitely looks like he’s about to snap.

He’s dressed in all black, and Seokjin is not in uniform, so he indulges in a quick once over while the man is looking at anything but him. Black leather jacket, black jeans, black boots, making his new hair colour stand out even more. The bad boy look is strong with this one, although the knowledge he could probably spill a sippy cup ruins the image a bit.

“You could… call a locksmith and then wait for them at my place, with a cup of tea.” Seokjin tries, and let it be known that he’s got game; Park Jimin can go to hell.

Namjoon looks at him again, this time with a self deprecating smile on his face that breaks Seokjin’s heart in a thousand pieces. There’s dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t had a good night of sleep in a few days.

“If you hold your stuff dear, you better leave me outside.” He says, taking out his cellphone and sending a quick text to someone.

Seokjin makes a quick inventory of every object and furniture currently in his living room, but can’t think of anything that would warrant leaving the blond man sitting duck in the hallway.

“If you just sit nice and tight on the couch, I’m sure I can find a plastic cup somewhere that you can’t break.”

Namjoon looks around, like he’s searching for a reason to say no, but his phone pings then, and he peeks at the incoming text.

“Shit.” He says. “Locksmith can’t make it for at least two hours. And I'm already late. Damnit.”

Seokjin decides to ignore the fact that Namjoon is on texting basis with his locksmith, balancing his groceries in one hand and unlocking the door with his other. He holds the door open, looking expectantly at Namjoon until the man takes the hint and steps hesitantly in his direction.

“Hope you’re insured.” Are his last words before he sets foot in Seokjin’s home.

He takes off his jacket —and who the hell wears a leather jacket in summer—and puts it on a hook, but the hook doesn’t hold and both fall to the ground.

Seokjin is very impressed; a very short second has yet to pass and the destruction has already begun.

“It was loose anyway.” he hurries to say at Namjoon’s blank expression. He grabs the jacket after putting the groceries away on the table and puts it on the back of a chair, then waits until Namjoon steps out of his usual black boots to lead him to the couch.

“It’s an interesting choice, black boots in summer.” He says, to break the silence and awkwardness.

“Steel toe” is the only answer he gets, and it actually makes a lot of sense. It also seems to be a sore subject, so he doesn’t ask about the leather jacket.

With Namjoon looking extremely stiff on his couch, like he’s trying to keep every muscle still, Jin leaves for a moment to put away the groceries and to try and find what he needs to make an accident-prone-person’s cup of tea. Well aware the man is most definitely not immune to spills, he ends up finding an old reusable ice tea Starbucks cup, needing a few minutes to locate the matching straw. He pours their drinks on ice and serves both of them an iced tea.

It’s summer, after all.

He drops the drink on the low table only to look up and realizes his guest is… fast asleep. His head is reclined against the back of the couch, his mouth hanging slack and emitting soft snores. The rest of his body looks locked tight even in his slumber, his hands stuck to his thighs with his legs straight. He looks like he’s used to sleeping without moving a muscle, which just mustn’t be nice. After looking at Namjoon’s sleeping form long enough to effectively feel like a creeper (the loose neck line of his t-shirt exposing a tantalizing amount of collarbone), he finds a small fleece blanket, his AC making the insides of his apartment pleasantly fresh but dangerous for uncovered throats.

As softly and quietly as he can, he covers Namjoon’s whole upper body with the blanket, only leaving his head poking out.

He looks proudly at his work after taking a step back, but the stupid smile on his face disappears once he realizes he just babied a grown ass man who he barely knows. Namjoon will probably think this is weird, right?

He’s tempted to take back the blanket to preserves his dignity, but risking the man waking up as he’s ripping it off him is not a position he wants to find himself in.

He settles for sitting on the other side of the couch, sipping at his glass quietly, trying to stop his eyes from wandering to the man’s sleeping form and failing pretty badly.

In the end, his glass empty and discarded on the coffee table, Namjoon’s even breathing ends up making his own lids feel heavy. It’s his first day off in a while, and the first few hours of it have been spent running around the city, so before he knows it, he’s joining the other man in dreamland.

“There’s a hot young man doing things to your neighbour’s door knob that will star in my wet dreams for and undetermined futu— Hyung, What the hell.” Is what Seokjin’s wakes up to.

He’s laying on his side, head pillowed on a nice and comfy surface that is sadly tensing up by the second, and that’s how Seokjin knows he will never be able to look at Namjoon in the eyes again.

He dares to crack an eye, and once he confirms his very pillowed head on Namjoon’s very thighs, he takes back everything he earlier thought.

How naive it was of him to believe he couldn’t do worse than their first meeting.

He uses every single muscle in his body to roll off the couch as fast as possible, his fight or flight response deeming it the quickest way to get off Namjoon’s lap. His body connect to the floor with a heavy thud, but not before knocking the coffee table hard enough to make Namjoon’s untouched drink inevitably topple off. His spill-proof solution proves itself insufficient as the lids pops open and the chilled tea explodes all over his chest, soaking his whole torso.

Wearing his thin and light pink summer shirt had seemed like such a good idea that morning, the sunny and clear sky promising a beautiful day. Now, as the fabric clings to his chest leaving nothing to the imagination, he curses the day he ever bought it.

As he lays still on the floor, cold liquid dripping off him and on the carpet, he takes a moment to regret every single decisions that lead him to this very moment. At the top of that list is of course, listening to Jimin’s advice. One day, he’ll take the time to think about how funny it is that every bad things that happened in his life can be linked back to that particular man.

Meanwhile, Taehyung is still staring from the and Namjoon is still perfecting his imitation of a statue on the couch.

Seokjin can’t see his face from his position on the floor, until the man reclines forward to look over the edge of the couch and down at him.

“First, abuse of firearm, and now sexual harassment? You've been a very exemplary police officer these past few weeks, Kim Seokjin-ssi.” He says, the only hint that he’s joking the small smirk stretching his lips. Seokjin covers his face in shame. “It’s always a relief to see that some people can embarrass themselves as much as me.”

Seokjin feels a warm hand on his forearm pulling it away from his face. He lets himself be pulled off the floor, Namjoon standing up with him as he helps him up.

“Hyung, cover your damn tiddies for Christ sake.”

“Shut up Taehyung.” Seokjin says, crossing his arms in front of his chest, feeling a faint blush dust his cheeks. “What are you even doing here?”. Namjoon, like a true gentleman, offers the blanket to him without a word.

“Dad told me mom told him Jimin told her you had a crush on your new-“ Taehyung doesn’t have the time to finish his sentence as Seokjin pounces on him, hands covering his mouth to shut him up, knowing very well where this story is leading. “Taehyung,” He says with an edge to his voice and a glint in his eyes, “-meet my neighbour, Kim Namjoon. He moved in a few weeks ago.” Realization crosses his brother’s features, and he looks apologetic for all of two second before he pushes the hands off his mouth. “So you might know who’s that delicious piece of man currently greasing up your knob?”

Namjoon looks a bit dumbfounded before he answers, uncertain. “Probably my locksmith? I wouldn’t use those exact words to describe his profession, though.” He shrugs.

“Would you happen to know his name? Current relationship status? Sexual orientation? Better yet, favourite colour? ” His younger brother says, hope blooming in his eyes.

“Huh.” Namjoon’s phone rings, saving him from the onslaught of questions. He checks who it is before answering, and a smile blooms on his face, his dimples hitting Seokjin straight in the guts.

“Hey! How's my baby?”

Seokjin’s heart stops and shatters at his feet; His baby.

He doesn’t hear the rest of the conversation, too busy spiralling down into self pity. Of course someone as attractive as Namjoon wouldn’t be single. Of course. He feels so stupid.

The phone call doesn’t last long, ending on a quick “see you in a few”, but it’s long enough for Seokjin to have sweared off love altogether and made a vow of celibacy, with very nice plans of moving to a desert island. He'll have so many cats.

“Soo, baby huh.” He says, barely containing the distaste in his voice. If Namjoon notices, he doesn’t show. He gives them both a shy smile, and Seokjin has had enough with this man. “Well, run along now, we wouldn’t want to hold you back too long, in case your baby gets impatient.”

Namjoon looks at him weirdly then, just catching on the tone of his voice. Nevertheless, he chuckles the awkwardness away before answering. “She’s kind of a diva I guess. And she always needs new stuff, quite the expensive girl that one.” Taehyung turns pitying eyes towards him.

Namjoon got himself a gold digger. He doesn’t even look like he has money.

“But she's the best ride there is.” Namjoon says, and Seokjin holds back a gag. T.M. goddamn. I. There’s a part of him that’s ready to cancel Namjoon for his apparent fuck boy personality. There’s also another part, one that is deeply buried inside of him, that gets a twisted sense of satisfaction from knowing that if that’s how Namjoon talks about the girl, she mustn’t be all that special to him. He’s a cop though, and an outspoken feminist, so he shuts that part up, ready himself for a nice lecture on respecting women and how to do it.

Taehyung beats him to it.

“That’s a very misogynist way to put it, mr. neighbour.”

“What?” Namjoon, says, looking confused. “How is it... misogynist to say I like to ride my bike?”

The word bike reverberate in the silence of the living room, Taehyung exchanging a look with Seokjin as the both of them realize the misunderstanding, leaving Namjoon looking nonplussed.

“Bike, as in motorcycle?” His brother asks.

Namjoon looks between the two of them, slowly putting the pieces together.

“Yes? What did you think I was talking about.... ah. Yeah, i guess that can be confusing.”

Seokjin’s relief is short lived; It only takes a few second for the meaning of it all to sink in; the sexy fucker is also a sexy biker, how is Seokjin supposed to get any sleep at night now?

The leather jacket in summer makes so much more sense.

Seokjin’s mouth feels dry for reasons he can very much explain. “Isn’t that a bit… dicey, though?” He doesn’t say for someone like you, but it hangs in the air, and Namjoon seems to hear it loud and clear.

He smirks like someone who’s used to this exact reaction.

“There’s two things I’ve never broken in this world; Music equipments and vehicles.”

Seokjin nods calmly to cover up the fact that his inside are a mess. Figures Hearts aren’t on that list.

“Alright, I need to go talk to my locksmith.” Taehyung’s eyes lights up again. “Thank you for letting me stay here.” He finishes, nodding in his direction, a shy smile on his face.

“Anytime.” Seokjin says faintly, still processing everything. “And I’m sorry for, you know, the whole falling asleep on you.” His blush must be covering him all over by now. He might never got back to his normal colour. He tries to laugh the embarrassment away, but all it does is make his crush look even more obvious.

Namjoon looks at him then, the cogs clearly turning in his head. Once he seems to finally have reached a conclusion, his expression twist into something different. Something that looks suspiciously... flirtatious?

“Don’t worry about it. Having a lap full of handsome has never been a problem for me.”

Let it be known Seokjin has rarely been rendered speechless. For a second he thinks he just hallucinated it, but then Namjoon unmistakably winks at him.

Seokjin’s mind goes blank. Where did the shy guy from before go?

“You know where to find me if you ever want a ride. I kind of owe you one.” He adds before leaving, closing the door behind himself.

Seokjin is too stunned to make a noise, so it’s Taehyung who breaks the silence.

“I aspire to have that level of game.”

Seokjin agrees.

Fin 1.1

Namjoon has already left to pick up his motorcycle from the auto shop, trusting Jungkook to lock up behind himself. After all, they’ve bonded over Namjoon’s difficulties with locks for the last few years, and can now be considered good friends.

He’s pretty much done, gathering his tools before leaving.

Somebody comes out of an apartment next door as he’s packing up. He doesn’t pay it any attention until the person clears their throat for a solid fifteen second. Turning around curiously, he catches sight of a particularly pretty man, probably around his age, locking up very loudly. He wouldn’t give it more attention if the young man wasn’t looking right at him with a weird smile. He’s locking the door with fervour, never breaking eye contact while he clearly struggles, and a particular hard twist even succeeds in making Jungkook wince.

When the inevitable happens and the key snaps under the pressure, the man lets out the fakest sound of despair Jungkook has ever heard, maintaining eye contact and looking like the cat that got the canary.

“Oh!~ What am I to do!~ I don’t know any locksmith...”

Jungkook has a feeling he should, perhaps, run.

He doesn’t.

Fin 1.2

#magicshopnet #bangtanarmynet #armysource #ficswithluv #bts fanfic #namjin #mxm #bangtanscenery

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polarishq · 4 years

Photo

Meet SHILOH POWELL. They are UNKNOWN/THIRTY TWO years old and hail from JERSEY CITY, NEW JERSEY. Shiloh embodies the constellation, PHOENIX. They use she/her pronouns. Their faceclaim is EMMY ROSSUM.

Phoenix reminds me of Hey What’s Up You Guys, Welcome Back to My Channel, imposter syndrome, only knowing second-hand love, the sterile smell of a hospital room, can’t do math (both because of the gay and because she’s never had a formal education), trying to navigate the terrifying world of Instagram notoriety, a sudden shift in the mannerisms of someone you’ve known your whole life, private hobbies learned in rare spare moments, an unwilling devotion to the stars, the story of Sisyphus, an attention to detail, beanies. Beanies in every color. So many beanies, universal across time and space and identities. A secret beanie cove. Beanies!!!!!!!!

BIOGRAPHY

Major TWs: Various terminal illnesses, and talking about them in a somewhat casual manner.

When Shiloh wakes up as Shiloh, she comes to know herself as a twenty-nine year old Twitter-famous witch with a heart defect, and the first thing that springs to mind is: “Well, at least it’s not another brain tumor.” When you have a mission, particularly when you don’t know what that mission actually is, brain tumors are problematic; they affect your mood, and your memory, and as they grow, your cognitive functions begin to slow, making your already limited time on earth more difficult to navigate. For someone like Shiloh, who has a short yet undetermined amount of time to fulfill a task, staying in operation until the end is imperative. Of course, heart problems come with their own set of complications; namely, she doesn’t know when time is running out. One day she can be out on the town, smokin’ cigarettes and fucking strangers and having a grand ol’ time, and the next—boom, dead.

Shiloh has been a puppet for the stars for centuries, now, as have all who have been cursed with the Phoenix sponsorship, and it’s frankly a pain in the ass. When Shiloh first came into consciousness, it was somewhere in the astral plane, face to face with the former Phoenix—a boy with bags under his eyes, a failure, tasked with passing the torch onto his successor before their spirit dies permanently. The message was simple: “To live, you must complete the task before your current body dies. Your time is limited, you do not know what it is ahead of time, but it is a significant goal that impacts the world in some way, even if you cannot see that in the moment. If you succeed, you live out the remainder of that body’s life before you move onto the next. If you fail, you get no second chances. You die, and that is it.” … Load of fucking bullshit, if you ask her, because who does that? But sure enough, Shiloh blinked and woke up in the body of a young girl with tuberculosis, and from that point on, it’s been nonstop.

It’s also worth noting that Shiloh is not really Shiloh, though for the sake of this life, she is. She actually doesn’t know who she is, as she’s constantly assuming the identities of others and must step as seamlessly as possible into their lives without drawing a great deal of attention to herself, which is neither easily said nor done. She has formed hobbies that follow her from one life to the next, has developed her own set of moral standards, but there is not much freedom in the way that she lives. Sometimes she is born a wife, or a grandpa, or a moody teenager. Sometimes she has a week, or several decades. She’s not always born into the body of a witch, but her powers seem to follow her where she goes—occasionally they coincide with the original host, but not always. Mostly, she doesn’t know why she continues to live life the way she does. There is nothing to gain aside from the possibility of perhaps one day finding peace, or happiness, or love, which Shiloh has only come to know second hand (waking up in the bed of someone’s lover, feeling the way they touch her and knowing that person was loved so deeply, but it’s not her, she’s merely an intruder, always an intruder). It’s a thankless job (congratulations, you did it, have an autoimmune disorder as a display of our undying gratitude!). Every life she comes to realize more and more what she will never have, but for now, she continues to fulfill her duties as though something might one day change.

Anyway, when Shiloh wakes up as Shiloh, not only can she tell she’s a twenty-nine year old witch with an ungodly amount of Twitter notifications, but she’s quick to find out she’s famous this time. Not, like, Angelina Jolie with the paparazzi kind of famous, but Youtube famous, with a boisterous channel with millions of followers and daily content, an aesthetic Instagram and—for the love of God—a fucking TikTok account. This comes with the perk of being able to review hours of content of the body she’s inhabiting, picking up quirks and mannerisms and speech patterns, but also with the added complication of being under the scrutiny of a lot of people. Documented slip-ups are never good. Shiloh also comes to find that she can’t just disappear, because she’s the oldest of a large, loud Jersey family who depends on her income to keep a roof over their heads, so it’s not like she can exactly start a scandal and get herself “cancelled” as was her original inclination. Fine.

What she does do is eventually take her channel down to weekly posts, boosts her acceptance of Instagram ads to supplement the income (those are pretty easy), and enrolls at Polaris, where she’s found her missions take her often these days. It’s always weird, seeing people she knows and has formed relationships with under different identities, but it doesn’t take her terribly long to adapt, as it’s not the first time she’s had to wrestle with this notion.

Although her first few months at Polaris were uneventful, the day Shiloh met Light, who introduced her to a famous serial killer group called the Lunatics, she felt the first piece of the puzzle click into place. She’d like to say she fit in like a glove, but that’s only an accurate depiction if we’re talking about that OJ Simpson glove; suspicious, divisive, and enigmatic. Her appearance caused problems from the get-go, though that was likely because she’d infiltrated their ranks and was the one who felt most comfortable calling Light out on their abusive bullshit. When Light began to abuse her too, locking her up in rooms, staving her, putting her though physical and mental trauma to try and beat her in line, Shiloh only felt like she was getting closer and closer to what the stars actually wanted. Maybe Light needed to be handled, or perhaps the others needed to be freed, or perhaps the Lunatics would lead her to a certain mark. Whatever it was, Shiloh felt confident that she was on the right path.

—Light’s dead, now. No matter the who, or the what, or the why, for this immediate bullet point, and things are in disarray. Shiloh hasn’t received any indication that she’s solved her mission, and with this new distraction, she’s terrified that her clock is running out and she’s been wasting her time with a group that has nothing to do with what Phoenix actually wants from her this go-around. But she can’t just disappear, because some of them suspect her as it is given her newcomer status, and Shiloh’s got too much at stake in this current lifetime (the Powell kids, the fact that she finally got James Charles to follow her back on Instagram, having no other leads), so she remains in it. Might as well see this through until the bitter end.

INCLINATION

Those with the Phoenix sponsorship are not truly people, but simply a consciousness; meant to be a foot soldier for the stars, Phoenix is always a passionate, cunning individual with an affinity for fire magic, though sometimes they inhabit bodies of witches with different inclinations and can pick up some of those skills, though they lose them again as soon as they’re reborn. These individuals wake up in the body of a person, always with a limited lifespan (often a terminal illness, though occasionally death is destined another way) and is given that limited time on earth to fulfill a certain duty for the stars; if they succeed, they are reborn, but if they fail, the torch passes on. Phoenix is one of the more cursed constellations, despite most people thinking its’ representative of second chances, but with the right person at the helm, Phoenix makes more of an impact on the world at large than most people will ever know.

CONNECTIONS

In the Know: This is either a Polaris staff member/professor, townsperson, or someone who’s been around for centuries that knows the nature of Phoenix and is the one common thread who has known Shiloh throughout multiple identities/rebirths. They might be helping Shiloh try and find a way to keep one identity and be able to live life the way she wants, so she seeks them out early so they can continue their work.

Fan: Someone who’s been watching Shiloh’s channel for years and picked up on the shift in her demeanor. They’re likely nosy and Shiloh avoids them at all costs.

Sibling: Fuck it, a younger sibling who’s also at Polaris and is probably also low key suspicious of changes in Shiloh’s behavior. Bonus points if it’s Jeremy Allen White.

Filling Maryanne Brooks’ #WifeGoals.

Filling Ethan King’s Bad Influence.

Filling Izabel Navorra’s You Spin Me Right Round.

Penned by Ashley★

#phoenix.#fire.#student.#taken.#ashley.

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robbedvoice · 5 years

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𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻 * repost, don’t reblog !

𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙄𝘾𝙎 !

FULL NAME. Esther Anne Callbeck MEANING. Esther - “star”. Anne - “gracious, full of grace”. Callbeck - “unknown”. NICKNAME. Nothing that she personally prefers to go by, but she’s heard a number of names tossed her way. GENDER. Cis female. HEIGHT. 5′5 AGE. 32 (main), can be older or younger depending on the verse timeline. ZODIAC. Sagittarius SPOKEN LANGUAGES. English, primarily (knows how to write and read it), knows some select words in French but nothing to be able to get by.

𝙋𝙃𝙔𝙎𝙄𝘾𝘼𝙇 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙎 !

HAIR COLOR. Dark brown/Black. EYE COLOR. Green. SKIN TONE. Pale, somewhat tanned if she spends most of her time outdoors. BODY TYPE. Somewhat stocky. ACCENT. Not recognizable in main verse, though she hand a faint English one from her parents. VOICE. Used to have rather even tones, neutral in volume. However, she doesn’t speak often anymore outside of grunts, hums, etc. DOMINANT HAND. Right. POSTURE. Good posture, carries herself like someone from a higher standing than she is while in public. Relaxes somewhat in private. SCARS. She has a couple along her shoulders and back due to scuffles from before the incident with her cousin. TATTOOS. N/A. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). Angular facial features, sharp brow. Her nose is somewhat crooked from having it broken in the past.

𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙇𝘿𝙃𝙊𝙊𝘿 !

PLACE OF BIRTH. Somewhere in the state of Lemoyne. HOMETOWN. Saint Denis. MANNER OF BIRTH. Natural birth. FIRST WORDS. “mama” SIBLINGS. N/A, though she had come to regard her cousin, Michael, as a brother and still views him as such. PARENTS. Matthew and Meredith Callbeck. PARENT INVOLVEMENT. Her father was rather hands off for most of her life, he really only started involving her in his “teachings” once Micheal joined their immediate family after the death of her uncle, where she learned to read and write with him. Her mother was depressed and cynical due to an expectancy on a way of life she had been promised. She rarely took it out on Esther herself, but it wasn’t hard to see as she grew older. She was never all that close with any of her parents or parental figures.

𝘼𝘿𝙐𝙇𝙏 𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙀 !

OCCUPATION. For hire, she will take whatever will give her money to survive within her own moral/standards, though she’s bent that a couple times for some good pay. Has done both honest and dishonest work. CURRENT RESIDENCE. Undetermined, doesn’t settle in one place for too long. CLOSE FRIENDS. Michael (dead), hasn’t lingered in a place long enough to get close to many people. RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Single. FINANCIAL STATUS. Unstable. DRIVER’S LICENSE. No. CRIMINAL RECORD. Nothing that she has been caught for, though she’s racked up a bit of a list due to certain jobs and her time with running with a gang before her cousin was killed--robbery (coach and homestead mostly), horse theft, scams/cons, murder, etc. VICES. Used to smoke but doesn’t do so anymore, though drink is a common one, but she knows how to pace herself.

𝙎𝙀𝙓 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙍𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙉𝘾𝙀 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Uncertain. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. Biromantic. PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch LIBIDO. Low. TURN ON’S. Eye contact, someone who has an active interest in getting past some surface level with her, good sense of humor, rational, non-judgemental people, danger, etc. TURN OFF’S. Arrogance, pretension, hostility, unwarranted aggression, forced contact (especially regarding her face, grabbing her chin will trigger panic/anger), etc. LOVE LANGUAGE. Doesn’t express her love verbally. If she’s interested in someone, she will show it by extended personal time with that person, her company. She’s observant, she may pick up things for them that they need/may not know they need, want, or sometimes making her own little gifts. She can be pretty affectionate and likes physical contact, so she will lean on, touch, and hold people she’s partnered with. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. She doesn’t get into romantic relationships all that often, which is in part of her own isolation that she tends to feed and the fact that she tends to be good friends with people before she shows any sort of interest in a romantic relationship. She’s a bit of a subtle lover and enjoys relationships where she can go at her own pace.

𝙈𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙀𝙊𝙐𝙎 !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. N/A HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Sightseeing, riding, reading (sometimes) MENTAL ILLNESSES. Some PTSD due to trauma related to her cousin’s death and the event of having her tongue removed, depression. PHYSICAL ILLNESSES. N/A LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. More left leaning. FEARS AND PHOBIAS. Has a fear of knives, especially when pointed at her or pressed under her neck, against her cheek. Heights, the vertigo keeps her from going up too high. Despite her own choice to be by her lonesome, she does fear abandonment by people she’s grown close to. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. Borderline middle, sometimes low due to isolation and/or difficulties, especially after her cousin’s death. VULNERABILITIES. She actively chooses not to speak, which can make it hard for her to communicate emergencies or problems clearly. Her lack of money puts hunger in her a lot, especially on long journeys. Insomnia related to her mental state can make her vulnerable while working certain jobs.

TAGGED BY: I stole it. TAGGING: The dash.

#✶ - HEADCANON.#✶ - ABOUT.#// ask to tag

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septic-dr-schneep · 6 years

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Dude your coma story is so cool so far!! I got to ask though, where's Marvin in all of this?

Funny you should ask…

JSE Fanfiction - In Time of Need (Part 6: Disconnection)

Summary: Straining his magic to most of its known limits, Marvin subjects himself to an out-of-body experience to search the mindscape for Jack.

A/N: Warning for implied/referenced throat cutting.

I make my wayopen. I seek the truth. I make my way open.

As he exhaled, Marvin sensed that his breath wasn’t dissipating. Insteadit crystalized, each particle taking the delicate, complex shape of a tiny starand suspending somewhere between the beams of refracted light surrounding him. Hecould hear the change they created in the resonance hitting his ears; hecompensated for it, channeling the sounds to the hum he was forming in histhroat. The particles from his nextbreath would act as counterbalances for the last.

His breathing wasn’t where his focus lay, however; he kept his attentionon his hands. Summoned swirls of red and green smoke were tangling around hiswrists, tracing curiously over the old burns they found there. The misty swirlssensed more than saw the veins of vibrant green coursing through him and they settleddensely against his skin, pushing against it, trying to break through it to reach the power underneath.

As soon as the old scars began to sting from the pressure, the magicianflicked his wrists and cast the smoke away from him, sending it out to weaveinto the crystalline stars. He could feel the smoke create an undertone for thestars’ singing. As the hum deepened, increasing pressure around him, Marvinimpulsively began to shiver. His breaths quickened, the smoke quickening itsweave in sync, brushing away excess stars to drift into his hair and onto hischeeks like snowflakes. He didn’t notice.

Using his magic like this took its toll on him. He was hyperaware of howquickly his body temperature was dropping, as if he was surrounded by an icyriver, but he was only just beginning. He had only dipped a toe into the cold. Drawinghis hands in close against his chest and curling the crystal structure in closearound him, he inhaled deeply.

“The way…is open.”

The smoke burst from the seams it had so lovingly created, scattering crystalparticles in every direction as Marvin thrust out his hands and his mind inconcert.

He reached out for Jack.

The gust of wind that rushed to meet him was entirely in his mind, but hefelt it burn against his exposed skin, a fiery contrast to the ice he’d formed.Growling, he lashed out at it as darkness crashed down around him, swallowingthe starlight. The symbols on his mask lit his way, their red and silver lightprojecting where his eyes couldn’t.

He saw the recording room; he stood close to the wall, his back pressedagainst the PMA board. Jack sat with his back to him, gaming just as he alwayswould, and Marvin’s throat tightened as his creator’s laughter echoed aroundhim. He sounded so joyful, his joy only making his image clearer in front ofMarvin’s eyes. It was as if no evil in the world could touch him.

As the image sharpened, however, it sacrificed its color, the vibrancybleeding out and leaving nothing but dark, grim reds and greens. Withoutwarning a flash of dazzling white and blue pulsed its flame, fueled only byadrenaline and already growing weaker. It was collapsing in on itself—a dyingstar, alone in the dark.

“I need to save him! I need to save him; I need your help! Save him!”

Marvin flinched as he heard the long-ago words. He could feel the terrorand anguish of the doctor shaking the very air around them as Jack choked andthrashed on his operating table, losing his fight. When it finally became toomuch to bear, Marvin surged forward, swiping his hands up and in, waving thewhite-blue star away. He didn’t want to go backward;he wanted to see where Jack was now.

“The way is open!” he snarled.Again the recording room flashed before his eyes. Chase filled the seat thistime, a poor substitute; even though he couldn’t see his face, Marvin knew thatthe vlogger’s smile never reached his eyes. As intensely as he focused hismagic on that focal point by the board and his mask allowed him the view,however, it was whisked away within seconds.

Frustration building at a churning boil in his stomach, Marvin abandonedthe recording room and went for the door, hesitating only a moment beforeemerging into the shadowed hallway. As the door slid closed behind him, Jackand Chase’s mingled commentary drifted away.

As far as Marvin could tell, he was the only source of sound, light, and lifein this world.

Unease gradually stirred through the frustration as he slid his fingersalong the wall, tracing his course. Each step he took into the corridor seemedto take him nowhere, yet every time his step faltered, there was suddenly anopening that his fingers hadn’t come to, a side hall. As the side hall opened,the way before him became a wall.

The halls were guiding him. They were steering him in directions that hemay very well not want to take, but he had already come this far. Who knew howmuch time had passed since he’d entered this realm? He could have been walking herefor days while far, far away, his body hovered in midair in the middle of hisbedroom, waiting for his probing mind to return.

He had traveled to reaches of this space he never would have dared to goin his search for Jack. He wasn’t about to turn back because the hallways splitin odd directions.

Ever so innocently, his boot squeaked as he made a right turn. As soon asthe sound echoed down the next hallway, another blaze of light stunned him, dazzlinglyred and much stronger than Schneep had been. Marvin staggered back a few stepsat the intensity of it, holding up a hand to shield his eyes, but the lightdefied reality, shining through hishand as if his fingers were translucent! There was no cover of darknessanymore.

“I seek the truth,” he said aloud, just above a whisper, holding out hishands to show he was unarmed. The light fluctuated, seemingly in response, andhe slid the toe of one boot forward. When there weren’t any adverse effects, heedged a few inches closer and then struck up a cautious, measured pace.

Much like the ones of the past, the hallway seemed to only lengthen as hewalked farther, but the light was becoming more and more powerful, reassuringhim that he was slowly but steadily drawing closer to its source. He could feelthe electricity of it in the air, throbbing into his exposed skin like deep acupressure.It was…reassuring, relaxing in a way, as it absorbed into him. It made him feelgrounded, steady on his course.

After an undetermined amount of time, he found his sense of calm abruptlybroken as he stumbled over his own feet, narrowly catching himself on the walland blinking his vision back into focus as his head swam. He took three moresteps and then…something changed.

The pressure the light had blanketed over him became like a full ton oflead dropped from far, far above him; he nearly doubled over under the weightof it as sweat rose from every pore and his sinuses clogged. Somewhere in theback of his mind, there was panic, but it couldn’t translate to his systems. Hefelt detached from his body—not only the one back in his room but the one hewas projecting here; all strength left and his legs buckled underneath him. Hedropped to his knees, feeling no pain when he struck the concrete. He didn’tfeel anything.

“That’s͜ ̛it̨…” The approaching footsteps were drowned out by their owner’s mockinglygentle words. “G͢o ͢o̵n̢ d̷ow͞n. ͟Deép̵eŗ and ͝de̴e̶pęr dow̢n.”

Marvin couldn’t even lift his head to look at him as he slumped to allfours, heaving ragged breaths, every one amplified and distant, and when he tried to speak his tongue felt heavy inhis mouth.. He should be panicking; that voice should chill him to the bone,but all it did was offer a sense of tingly, prickling heat, as if his wholebody had fallen asleep and his clouded mind was just begging to join it.

“Yo͝u a͢c̵t͟uall̛y͝ ͞t̀h͟o͢ught i̴t w͡o̷uld ͟be that e̴a͜sy̨, didn’t you?”Anti tutted as he crouched in front of the stricken magician, grinning from earto ear. “I’ve ke͘p̕t ͡c̕o̴nt̡rol al̕l thi̕s͜ tím̢e, charmer, and̨ y͝ou ͟le͘t m͝e! How’s i̛t̀ ͠fee̡l t͡o ͠b̵e theòne who wal͘ked rig̡h͜t͝ i͝n̴to it?” After a moment, he pulled Marvin’s chinup, giggling. “I ̧k͟now ̕how t̴o͟ dơ it ͟ge̵nt͞l͠ytoo.”

“I’d…prefer…th’ pain…” Marvin slurred, each word a struggle. Anti onlylaughed harder at that, dropping from his crouch so he could fully sit cross-leggedbefore him. Even though they were mere inches apart, even though Anti wastouching him, Marvin could hardly see him. He was putting out so much of thered light that all he could see was his glitching, spasming outline—and evennow, a black mist of spots was blotting that out as he strained to keep hiseyes open.

“Wel̷l, as͜ ̛it t͘ur̵n͝s̴ ̕ơu̡t…”

Marvin couldn’t even find the strength to flinch as a blade was pressedflat against his pulse point. He stayed limp and still, barely aware of it.

“I͜ ͝was h̕oping ̶you͠’d śaythat̨.”

The edge of the blade slid cleanly along his skin. Wet heat trailed downhis neck, soaking into the hem of his shirt, dissolving into the rest of the warmthdraped over him. Anti talked to him as he worked, but Marvin had stoppedconcentrating on the actual meaning of his words after some time. He just letthe rhythm of his voice and the cuts mesmerize him. Whatever the Defect wassaying sank right past his filter and through his subconscious like a dream hewas meant to forget. So did the pain; it was absolute agony, but as soon as his nervous system registered it, it was gone—untilthe next stroke of the weapon.

Then an alarm went off.

Tearing his knife away from the helpless magician’s neck, Anti sworeprofusely, his entrancing light shrinking back at the faraway cries. Marvin hadno time to collect himself before he was being thrown in a dizzying spiral, warpingbackward past corners of the thousands of hallways he’d walked. All he couldhear around him were shrill shrieks and earsplitting wails as other alarmsexploded around him.

How long it assaulted his senses, he couldn’t know, but the last he heardof them was a hoarse, tormented and very humancry before grotesquely slamming back into his flesh and bone. The crystalline starsexploded around him, shattering over the carpet in his bedroom as he struck theback wall with a yelp. As soon as he slid to the floor, he pressed a hand to hisraw, aching throat. No warmth, no blood, no cuts—what the—?

“Marvin! Marvin!”

When the smoke of the excess magic cleared and Marvin’s wide, glassy eyeslifted, Chase was standing over him, ashen and trembling.

“You gotta come to the lab,” he pleaded breathlessly. “It’s Jack! Jack just—Youneed to come see him now. S-Somethinghappened to him, man, h-he was having a seizureor something!”

“I…” It felt as if he’d been out of this reality for years; everythingwas too bright, too stimulating, but after several seconds Chase’s wordsfinally registered through his pounding headache. Despite it, he nodded,blinking hard. “I’m…I’m coming,” he answered haltingly, holding out his freehand for Chase to help him up.

#youtube #jacksepticeye #fanfiction #youtube fanfiction #marvin the magnificent #antisepticeye #chase brody #marvin's magic #wake up #save jacksepticeye #hypnotism #hypnosis #answered ask #Anonymous

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