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really-fanny-longbottom · 2 days

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IT WAS ALWAYS YOU

Pairings: Azriel x Reader, Inner Circle x Reader

Summary: After decades as friends, new feelings emerge that lead to a beautiful relationship with Azriel - and how the Inner Circle discovered it.

Warnings: Tons of fluff, suggestive, mentions of blood and violence (nothing too descriptive)

Words: 5.4k

Author's Note: Hi! Here is the long awaited fic about Azriel and Reader from my mini series Second Chance but it can also be read as a stand alone. I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you like it. Enjoy!

The morning had arrived with its first rays of sunlight, its gentle breeze, and the soft singing of birds.

The bedroom window was open, letting the delights of spring reach you.

You woke up five minutes ago. After checking that the clock said 7:15 a.m., you snuggled back into bed and decided to spend the time looking at the male still sleeping next to you.

You took this opportunity to run your fingers through his black hair, removing some strands from his face and lowering your hand until it passed over his cheek and rested on his jaw.

You couldn't help but admire the male who had become the center of your world.

Your relationship has been the best surprise in your entire life.

Those fifty years you were trapped in Velaris made you and Azriel even closer and helped you discover feelings for each other that you hadn't yet realized that they already existed.

Who would have thought that you would find love and happiness in the Shadowsinger?

Who would have thought that the male who is always considered cold, reserved, and discreet would become your best friend?

This was your favorite view. Seeing Azriel so relaxed and calm, without any worries on his face and without any weight weighing down his shoulders.

You roamed his body with your eyes. He was shirtless with just his boxers protecting him from your thoughts from last night and because his shirt was on you right now. He was stretched out on the bed with his arms folded under the pillow where his head rested, his eyes were still closed, his lips were slightly open, leaving soft snores reaching your ears and his wings were lying to the sides, with one of them over you, revealing how comfortable he was.

The only thing you could feel was love, pride, and happiness in this moment because you were the reason this view was possible.

You were the one who made him feel loved and safe like he had never felt before, and in a way, he didn't know.

You were the one who made him laugh until his stomach hurt, and happy tears ran down his cheeks.

You were the one he could talk to about everything without ever feeling judged.

You were the one with whom he could talk about his past, his family, and his hands because you were the one who wrapped him in your arms and listened attentively without ever complaining.

Your favorite memory had been the day Azriel admitted how he felt about you. How he told you that with you, he was neither the Shadowsinger nor the Spymaster nor one of the brothers of the High Lord of the Night Court nor a bastard.

That with you, he was Azirel. Just Azriel. You had never felt so much love as you did that day.

Even though that confession didn't have the presence of those three little words, you knew that this was the way he said them, and that was enough to you.

Because Azriel is enough to you.

The biggest smile appeared on your features at the reminder of that memory, and that reminder took you back to the memories of how it all began.

Your relationship with Azriel has always been different from any other.

While Rhys and Cass were your older brothers, Mor, your sister, and Amren, a mentor who sometimes gave you goosebumps, Azriel was your friend.

And a friend was exactly what you needed.

There were times when you felt guilty that your relationship with him was different from the one you had with Rhys and Cassian and that you were somehow excluding him and hurting him in the process.

But you just couldn't see him as a brother, and although that didn't make sense to you at the time, it did now.

Your concern disappeared after Azriel revealed that he also saw you only as a friend, and that night, you thanked the Mother for that. Otherwise, things would be strange.

Azriel started out by being the person you ran away to when Rhys and Cass started to forget their role as brothers and started to step into the role of dads, or when Mor wanted to drag you on another round of shopping, or even when Amren became too scary for your taste.

In those moments you discovered how much you enjoyed his company, you didn't need to be talking to each other, you could just sit side by side and read or eat and the silence wasn't awkward.

The company was comforting and cozy. It felt right.

And so, he stopped being the person you ran away to and started being the friend you went to because you wanted to.

Books began to be exchanged, walks began to take place, training began to be done, and a routine was built.

Every day, you had breakfast with the Inner Circle, with the exception of Amren, who couldn't be woken up before lunch unless someone had a death wish.

After breakfast, train with Azriel and Cassian. While Azriel trained you in hand-to-hand combat, Cassian trained you with weapons, and both taught you about balance and posture. After that, a quick shower and a small snack and you would join Rhys to read and write and work on your mental shields in his office.

Just like breakfast, you all got together again for lunch, now with Amren present.

After lunch, you had classes with Amren who taught you about everything, history of Prythian and the Courts, literature, mathematics (definitely not your favorite) and much more, being over fifteen thousand years old classified her as the best for that.

Your favorite part was when she talked about the death gods, the High King, creatures, that was always the best part and you always found yourself wanting to know more, that was also due to the fact that Amren was amazing at telling stories.

This all meant that you had the rest of your afternoons free and that you could spend them however you wanted. It was at these times that you were looking for Azriel's company.

When he was away on missions or due to other matters, you found other ways to spend the afternoons but never when he was in Velaris.

And just like that, your friendship started to grow and transform into something more over time.

But it was only on your 123th birthday that you realized that you were deeply in love with the Shadowsinger. You held this birthday close to your heart not only because it was when you and Azriel finally happened but because it was also the first since Rhys got back from Under the Mountain and the first one with Feyre too.

As always, the Inner Circle organized a party to celebrate your birthday, with many presentes, decorations and of course a big chocolate cake.

But your favorite part? It was when Azriel took you on a night flight, that had become your thing over those fifty years.

Not only did you have the perfect view of Velaris above the stars, but you also had the perfect view of the male carrying you in his arms.

He was so handsome that night, but so were you.

You wore a cobalt blue dress that reached your ankles. The top part of the dress was a corset that tightened around your back, leaving it just covered by the threads that crossed each other and made a bow at the end.

The skirt contained an opening on one of your thighs, and small diamonds decorated the fabric that made you look like one of the shining stars in the sky.

A silver necklace and earrings adorn your neck and ears, and a sort of tiara rested on top of your head with your hair done in a perfect bun.

Your high heels, also silver, had been discarded by the fireplace a long time ago after dancing so much.

Azriel was dressed in a dark blue suit that hugged his figure perfectly. A white shirt was folded to his elbows with the top two buttons unbuttoned, as was his dark blue vest. The pants were immaculate, as were the shoes. He was perfect.

You found yourself looking at his legs and arms several times throughout the night, but who could blame you?

After flying for a while, Azriel landed on the bridge next to Sidra, and after gently placing you on the ground, you turned to admire the view of the river shining under the starlight.

When you shivered a little due to the night wind, Azriel came closer to you and hugged you from the side and you took the opportunity to rest your head on his chest with an arm around his waist while your free hand found its place in his abdomen.

In this proximity, you had the perfect ability to hear how fast his heart was beating, and you also sensed how nervous he was.

So, before you lost your courage, you turned in his embrace and placed his hand over your heart before giving him a smile and asking, "Can you feel it?" You looked at his beautiful hazel eyes. "Can you feel how much my heart desires for you?"

Azriel wasted no time in reciprocating your smile, and after following your movements, now with your hand over his heart and his resting on top of your hand, he said, "Can you feel mine?"

You both let out giggles, and when those disappeared, Azriel closed the distance between you with his lips touching yours, his arms found their place around your waist and he gently lifted you until he was at his full height again.

Your hands placed themselves on his cheeks, and when he lifted you up, you bent one leg and lifted it into the air.

The perfect kiss for the perfect day in the perfect place at the perfect time.

That day felt like a dream, but you were glad it wasn't because that meant it was real.

A chuckle broke you from the memories, and when you looked back at the love of your life, his eyes were open.

"You're awake." You said.

"I've been for a while. I called you several times, but you didn't even blink." He chuckled again and rested his head on one hand. He used the other to caress your cheek before giving you a kiss.

"Hmm," you hummed into the kiss, which made him chuckle more. "Good morning."

With a smile never leaving his lips, he replied, "Good morning, angel."

He started stroking your hair before asking, "What was that pretty little head of yours thinking about?"

"That's for me to know and for you to wonder," you answered him with a mischievous grin.

"Hmm, you evil little thing." He couldn't help but laugh before continuing. "I like it." And before you could prepare yourself, he trapped you in his arms and shifted to lay on top of you with his arms now resting on the sides of your head.

He started kissing your neck, and you erupted into laughter. "Az," No matter how much you tried, you couldn't stop laughing.

Azriel stopped kissing your neck and planted a kiss on your lips before his hands returned to your hair.

He opened his mouth to say something but several knocks at the door, and Cassian's voice stopped him in his tracks and made both of your eyes darted to it. "Hey! Stop playing with each other and come have breakfast. Training in an hour."

You were quick to respond "Yes General. Thank you, General." Cassian let out a laugh before the sounds of his footsteps faded away.

When you went to look back at your lover, he was already looking at you with an amused expression.

"What?"

"You know what this reminded me of?" He paused before continuing with his thought. "When Cass found out about us. We were in similar circumstances if I remember well." He lowered his head, so his lips were now hovering your ear, "but I wasn't the one on top." He finished with a shit eating grin and a knowing look.

"Shut up, Az!" You said while covering your face with your hands at the reminder, "that was so embarrassing."

"Embarrassing? I thought it was hilarious."

You swat his chest before proceeding. "You say that because you weren't the one who said all those things and was acting like an idiot."

Azriel gave a big laugh at that mention. "Oh yeah!" He laughed even harder, making his chest touch yours, "I still don't know where you are trying to go with that conversation."

You swat his chest again but a little harder this time. "Stop! I was nervous, okay? I couldn't help myself."

At the sight of you covering your face again, Azriel pushed your hands away, and with a gentle smile, he said, "It's okay, angel."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," He replied, and when a shit eating grin returned to his lips, you knew nothing good was about to come out of it "if you think about it, it wasn't as bad as it was when Rhys found out."

"Ugh! Shut up, Azriel!" You groaned in frustration.

It had been six months since that birthday. Six months since the night, you and Azriel kissed and decided you wanted a relationship.

Even though both of you were thrilled with your new relationship, you weren't ready yet to share it with the rest of the world or your busybody family.

So both of you decided to keep it to yourselves.

You and Azriel would occasionally flirt in front of your family and sometimes get a little handsy. If your family noticed, they didn't comment, but this also might not be anything new for them knowing how close you and Azriel got.

Besides, flirting wasn't anything new in the Inner Circle. Cass and Mor, Mor and you, Rhys and Amren, sometimes even the batboys with each other believe it or not and now Rhys and Feyre.

You and Azriel were both still in bed in his room, enjoying the last few minutes you had before having to get up for a new day.

You had sneaked into his room last night after everyone had gone to bed after another night of games, wine, and crackers with cheese.

Azriel was sitting against the headboard with you sitting on top of him, your legs on either side of him. Your hands were roaming his shoulders, neck, and chest.

Their hands were on your lower back under your shirt (his shirt), one of them was playing with the fabric of the shirt while the other was drawing small circles on your skin.

"What are your plans for today?" He asked.

"Well, after training, which I hope you're nice today considering what I did for you last night," an amused smile formed on your lips.

"Are you trying to bribe me?"

You faked a disbelieving look. "What? Me? Never." Azriel scoffed at your antics before you continued, "As I was saying, after training, I need to review some papers with Rhys since I'm the Emissary again. I have a meeting in Summer in three days, and since it's my first meeting with Tarquin I asked him to help me prepare.”

"Emissary of the Night Court," Azriel returned the smile. "You've done well."

A blush made its way to your cheeks before you could stop it. "Shut up."

"I'm serious. I'm proud of you. You deserve it."

"Thank you, my love." You told him before giving him a kiss.

"Is Rhys going with you to Summer?" Azriel asked.

"No, he tried to find the time, but with the meeting with Keir happening on the same day, he can't." You answered and started passing your finger through the patterns of the tattoos on his chest.

After a moment of silence, Azriel gave voice to his thoughts, "I can go with you if you want." You halted in your movements, and when your eyes met his, he proceeded. "Only if you want. I know you're perfectly capable of defending yourself, I mean, Cass and I trained you so," a smug grin plastered on his face "but since this is your first meeting with a new High Lord, I understand if you want to do this on your own."

"No, I'd love it if you go with me." The blush appeared again on your cheeks. "Thanks, Az."

"Of course, angel." Azriel pulled you by the shirt and kissed you. A kiss that said a lot of things.

Before any of you noticed, the door was opened, and Cassian entered the room.

A look of shock was on Cassian's face and when you and Azriel turned to see him, you were quick to jump from Azriel's lap to the ground, only to land your foot on top of his boot and fall.

You were quick to recover and stood up to look the General in the eyes who still had his mouth open.

"What. The. Fuck." Was his only response.

"This isn't what it seems, Cass, I was just...I..." your heart was beating fast with nervousness and embarrassment, so you said the first thing that came to mind without thinking "I was just teaching Azriel something."

"What?" Both males asked.

Realizing the words that had just come out of your mouth, you mentally scolded yourself, "That's not what I meant" you started to squeeze the fingers of one hand with the other nervously "it's just that I read something the other day in a culinary book and thought it was interesting so I...I..."

"What?" The males asked again, giving you confused looks.

You cleared your throat before you started waving your hands in front of your face and exclaimed "Gods, why is it so hot in here?"

Cassian lifted an eyebrow at you "Maybe it's because you're wearing Azriel's shirt.”

Shock ran through your entire body at his reply, you had no response to that.

"So," Cassian crossed his arms over his chest "you two are a couple?"

"What? No! This is all part of the plan." You answered him, and you were so focused on your big brother that you didn't notice Azriel trying to hide his smile.

"What plan?" Cassian asked in his big brother's voice.

"I read about an experiment about animals-"

"Animals?" Azriel asked, not knowing if he felt offended or not.

Cassian was trying to stay serious. He had come to Azriel's room to tell him about training but instead he found his little sister on a male's lap kissing him with nothing but his shirt and underwear. This is not how he imagined his morning but he couldn't help but break his serious gaze for a second at your reply "You read about animals in a culinary book?"

When you didn't respond and your face turned a shade of red from embarrassment, the males tried to contain their laughs.

Azriel interrupted you before you could say anything else that didn't make any sense. "Angel, thanks for trying but you're a horrible liar."

"Wha-?" You tried to protest.

"I'm not angry." Cassian interrupted you.

"You're not?" You asked in a small voice.

"No, little star. I'm just surprised, I mean, I noticed your flirting but I thought you were just messing around like the rest of us."

"We weren't." Azriel spoke this time.

"No shit." He said to him before turning his attention to you "Anyways, why don't you go to your room and get ready? Training is in twenty minutes." Cassian said before grabbing the door handle and opening it for you.

"Okay." You started gathering your clothes and your shoes before going to give a quick kiss to Azriel but that was before he said while laughing "Animals? Really?"

"Shut up!" You said, after grabbing the pillow on your side and throwing it at his head.

Cassian closed the door when you left and turn to Azriel who was no longer laughing.

"Cass-"

"Shut up and listen," and the Shadowsinger did as he was told "if you break her heart or if you hurt her in any way, I'll hunt you down. Got it?"

"Yes." Azriel never thought he would live to the day where he would be afraid of Cassian.

"Good. I'll talk with her later. Now, get ready. We have training."

Azriel released a sigh, knowing what was about to happen at training. "You're going to kick my ass, aren't you?"

"Hell yeah." Was Cassian's response before exiting the bedroom.

Your hand was intertwined with Azriel's as you ran towards the kitchen as silently as possible.

You had just arrived from a date at Rita's and were currently too happy and unbalanced, the result of several drinks and Rhys having an open tab at the bar.

The house was dark and silent, when you finally made it to the kitchen, the clock on the wall marked exactly 3:07 a.m., but you and Azriel weren't ready to end the night nor were you tired.

Your trip to the kitchen was for the purpose of drinking water but that was forgotten in the back of your minds, when you turned around to face Azriel and wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him fiercely.

You kissed him as if he were the air you breathe and Azriel returned the gesture with the same intention.

His hands started to move down from your face, to your shoulders, to your back and finally to your ass before he grabbed it and lifted you up to sit on the kitchen counter.

You opened your legs wider so he could get between them and just detached your lips from his to grab the ends of his shirt and pull it off him.

Azriel wasted no time in doing the same to you. Alcohol had an effect on him that made him unable to let go of you for even a second and he needed you now.

With his hands going to your back, he grabbed the fabric of your top and ripped it in half before tossing to the side and leaving you in your bra.

He started kissing your jaw and your neck, and you took the chance to unbutton his pants but you were only halfway through when he moved to kiss your shoulders and chest, making you lose focus and leaning back to lying down on the cold surface of the counter.

Azriel continued kissing down your chest and when he reached your stomach, he stayed there while he started undoing your pants.

He grabbed the hem of your pants and underwear at the same time to take them off but before he could go any further, someone cleared their throat.

Rhys was standing at the kitchen entrance in his pajamas, clearly looking like he regretted leaving his bed.

The faelights lit up and you got a better view of your brother, before quickly sitting up and using Azriel as a shield to hide your body.

You were both perplexed and at your silence, Rhys said "Late snack?"

Even though this was something Rhys never wanted to see, he couldn't help but laugh at your expressions and how messed up you were due to the alcohol. "Don't worry about me, I just came to get some water." He moved to the fridge while you and Azriel remained where you were without moving a muscle.

After taking what he needed, Rhys turned his back to you, turned off the lights and told you before leaving the kitchen "If you think you're safe from this, then you're wrong. We'll talk about this in the morning after I erase this image from my mind."

You waited until you heard the door to Rhys's bedroom close before returning to your previous activities.

It was only three in the morning, you still had plenty of time before Rhys's lecture gave you a headache.

You were at Dawn, the second ball of the week to establish relationships between Courts. Which meant you were working considering you were the Emissary.

You had just talked to Thesan about the new deal Rhys was planning for the Solar Courts, and now you were looking for your family, finding only Amren with Varian and a glass of wine in her hand.

"Amren? Have you seen the others? I can't seem to find them."

"Fine, I'll help you." She said as if she was bothered but in reality you knew she wasn't, in fact you always knew that Amren had a soft spot for you since you were a child.

"Thanks." You interviewed your arm with hers to make sure you didn't get lost in the crowd.

After a few minutes of searching, you finally found Azriel and as you were dodging the people in front of you, a smile made its way to your lips.

A smile that quickly fell when you saw that he was accompanied by a female.

Your heart started to fall - it was not possible, your Azriel would never do such a thing to you.

It only took you a few seconds to realize you were correct. Azriel would never do this to you.

You looked more closely and noticed that he was trying to get away from the female's touch but she was insisting.

Anger coursed through your body and before anything could stop you, you walked towards her and punched her right in the nose.

When she fell to the ground, you realized what you did and shock ran through your body.

This ball was to help strengthen relationships between the Courts and you had just punched a female for touching your male.

Your arm was still intertwined with Amren's and when you looked at her you saw the biggest feline smile she had ever given "I always knew something was going on between you two," she gestured to you and Azriel "Good job, child, I'm proud and this ball was getting boring anyway."

The ancient one raised her glass towards the fallen female who was now clutching her bloody nose "Thank you for your participation," she said before taking a sip of the wine and making her way back to Varian.

You looked at Azriel who had a big smile on his face and raised his hand towards you to grab it and stand by his side but before either of you spoke, you saw a very angry Rhysand walking towards you.

"Shit." That was the only thing you were able to say before your brother gave you another lecture and took you home so no more females would have their noses broken.

Mor had joined you for training the following morning, she had arrived yesterday afternoon from the Continent and wanted to spend as much time with you as possible before having to leave again.

You were stronger and faster since the last time you two had trained and Mor found herself trying to keep up with you several times.

She had insisted on training in hand-to-hand combat and she realized that she had made the right choice because if you fought like that without weapons, she didn't even want to imagine what you would be like with them.

After another hour that seemed like three to Mor, the training came to an end and you sat on the ground at the top of the House of Wind while drinking water and calming your breathing.

"Well, Cassian and Azriel are really good instructors. You're fighting like a true Illyrian."

You smile at the compliment. When you first started training it was hard but now it felt like a second skin and you were very proud at your effort.

"Thanks, Mor. We should train together more often."

She looked at you incredulous "No, thanks. I'm fine."

You both laughed simultaneously, and looked forward to seeing where Cassian and Azriel were standing on the other side.

"They've been standing there for a long time. What do you think they're talking about?" You asked her.

Mor scoffed "Probably arguing over who has the biggest wingspan again," Mor leaned towards you so no one else could hear "I bet it's Azriel."

You raised your water to drink another sip when you responded to Mor without thinking "Believe me, I know."

You stopped in the middle of your action when you realized what you just admitted.

"What do you mean by that, little star?" She asked, an amused smile beginning to settle across her features.

"Nothing." Your face turned red from the embarrassment.

"Holy. Shit." Mor started clapping hands and jumping in her seat.

"Stop it!" You told her before standing and starting to run to your bedroom but Mor was quick to follow your movements and she ran behind you.

When you reached your bedroom, Mor made you tell her all the details and everything she had lost these past few months she was away.

"See the positive side. At least you were fully dressed when Amren and Mor found out." Azriel told you.

"By the Cauldron, shut up." Fed up with his sarcastic comments, you lifted your legs and wrapped them around his waist before pushing him to the side and getting on top of him.

You held his hands with yours beside his head and bent down to give him a kiss only to be interrupted by new knocks on the door and Cassian's voice again "Hurry up, otherwise I'm going to make you run for an hour, little star."

"Fine!" You screamed at him and after a moment you told Azriel "Gods, he's annoying today."

"I heard that. You're going to run for two hours." Cassian said before stepping away from the door.

"Dammit." You cursed while Azriel chuckled.

Tonight was Starfall and once again you were beautiful wearing the same dress that you did when Azriel kissed you for the first time.

This was your favorite festivity and nothing could take away the happiness that this day brought you, not even your sore muscles from running for two hours yesterday.

Now that your whole family knew about you and Azriel, there was nothing stopping you from seeing the spirits in each other's arms.

When it was over, Azriel looked down to meet your eyes and it was then that a force hit him.

A golden thread around his heart began to form before it began to connect with yours. He froze in place, surprise and shock overwhelming him.

But what shocked him the most was when you took his hand with a genuine smile and told him "Took you long enough." And then a tug in his chest, it was you.

"You knew?" When you only nodded, he asked you again "When?"

"Since my birthday. It snapped after you kissed me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to pressure you because it snapped for me and not for you and I wanted to show that I don't love you just because we're mates. I love you because it's you." You confessed to him.

Now everything made sense to Azriel.

Why he had never found a female that he felt connected to or that felt right.

Why he had never met a female in which he felt loved or safe.

Why he had never met a female with who he could be himself and laugh until he cried with happy tears.

Because it was you. It was always you.

It was no secret how much he wanted a mate and now after five hundred years of waiting, you were finally in front of him with love filling your hearts and being linked by a beautiful golden thread for eternity.

It couldn't be more perfect.

"Are you upset it's me?" You found yourself asking when he didn't say anything after a long minute.

With tears in his eyes and his arms around your waist, he hugged you close to his chest and kissed you like all the females wish to be kissed.

When your lips parted, he tugged on the bond and told you "I've been waiting for you, Angel."

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! And a special thank you to @mybestfriendmademe for giving the idea of writing about the Inner Circle's reaction. If you wish to be added to the general taglist let me know. 😊

Masterlist

Taglist: @emryb @fantasyandshit @azrielover @shadowsingercassia @brieflyclassymortal @lilah-asteria @lure-of-writing @pruvii @olive-main @mybestfriendmademe @anuttellaa @tele86 @shadowsingercassia @meritxellao

the beautiful dividers belong to @cafekitsune

#acotar #acotar fandom #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #inner circle #cassian #cassian x reader #rhysand #rhysand x reader #mor x reader #morrigan acotar #morrigan #amren acotar #amren #amren x reader #feyre cursebreaker #azriel x you

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nathaslosthershit · 1 day

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New Neighbors and Interrupted Streams [Part 1] (LN4)

Read Part 2 here! Summary: Desperate for new friends, maybe it's time to revert to the tried and true neighborly American cookie exchange. A/N: I know Lando lives in Monaco but in this he is still in the UK. Also I really love fics that have something to do with Lando streaming and being teased the entire time.

This was stupid. This was probably so stupid. But she had to do something.

Two weeks she had been in her new apartment, in a new country. In that time, she had gotten increasingly lonelier, seemingly unable to make friends.

She had moved to the UK for work but with another month till she actually began her new job, she didn’t know how to make friends in her free time.

God, why was it so hard to make friends as an adult?

So, after a call with her mom expressing her issues with making friends, she was reminded of a good-old US custom.

Baking cookies for your neighbor.

Usually, this was reserved for pre-existing residents to introduce themselves to the new folks moving in, but after all this time she didn’t expect her neighbors to reach out, so it seemed she had to do it herself.

After that phone call, she tried it twice with some of her neighbors. The first time, she left them at the door with a note introducing herself to them, saying she hoped they could meet up sometime. She found the cookies still in the box, with the opened note on her doorstep later that day.

The second time, she got so excited when she saw from down the hall that her neighbor had grabbed them, swiftly moving inside his own flat with the cookies while reading the note. But a week later and no sign of any desire from the neighbor to connect with her, she gave up.

She had one last person she could try with, the ridiculously cute boy who lived in the apartment across from her. She hadn’t actually talked to him, just spied on him a few times from her peephole when she heard him leaving his flat. Creepy, she knew, but she was far too shy to say anything.

But she was so desperate, and she could tell he was around her age… she thinks. After sitting at her table for an hour staring at the home baked goods, she finally grabbed them and knocked on his door before she could chicken out.

Lando was streaming with Max next to him, when he got a notification that someone was by his door. Thinking it was the takeaway he ordered, he swiftly excused himself to go grab it. What he didn’t expect was the pretty girl who had just moved across from him to be at the door.

There was a beat of silence as they both stared at each other. In all honesty, she was just going to knock, wait a few seconds, then leave the cookies. She hadn't expected him to answer the door so she was unsure what to say.

Finally he spoke up.

“Sorry, are we being too loud? We can totally quiet down if you need to.” He said while awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

She still didn’t reply, too stunned by seeing him for the first time not through a small and dirty peephole. God, he was beautiful.

Seconds of silence went by until she finally managed to get everything she wanted out.

“No, no I am so sorry. You are completely fine, that's not why I am here. I just didn’t think you'd actually answer the door. Anyway, I know this is probably strange and I don’t think they actually do this here but I just wanted to introduce myself to my neighbors, so I made cookies! Again this is probably so weird of me so it's totally fine if you don’t want them or something, the other neighbors clearly didn’t but that's okay. Anyway- Hi, I live across from you and now I am here with cookies!” She managed to get out in one breath while sticking the cookies out for him to grab.

This time, Lando took a few seconds to reply, trying to process what she said. “You’re American.” Was all he managed to get out.

She didn’t know what to reply, it wasn’t a question but felt like he needed reinforcement about that statement.

“I am.”

“I didn’t realize they actually did this, thought it was a movie thing.”

“Uh- I am sorry?”

“No. no! It's sweet, thank you for them. I really appreciate it… sorry what's your name? I’m Lando by the way”

How she managed to not actually say her name while she spent a full minute rambling about how she wanted to introduce herself was beyond her, but after quickly introducing herself, properly this time, she finally felt the tension and awkwardness leave her body.

He took the cookies from her, promising that he was excited to eat them even though he knew his trainer wouldn’t be too happy, and took this opportunity to get her phone number. Promising to text her, he closed the door and immediately looked out his peephole, wanting to get one more look at her. He was surprised, and amused, to see she did a little celebratory dance in the hallway, before taking a breath and entering her own apartment, excited she had just made a new potential friend.

“What took you so long, Mate? And why are you so red? And why do you have cookies? Where is the food we ordered?” Max asked when Lando entered the room again, a stupid grin adorning his face.

“It wasn’t our delivery, the new neighbor just stopped by to introduce herself.”

“The cute one you kept going on about?” Max teased, earning a kick to the shin as that wasn’t information Lando wanted everyone watching the stream to know.

“Anyway- she brought cookies as a little hello. It's sweet. I've never gotten cookies made for me before.”

“She brought cookies? The hell would she do that for?”

“Like I said, to introduce herself. She’s american.”

Before Max could ask anymore questions, specifically about why Lando was smiling so much and why he was beet-red, which Max already knew the answer to, their actual takeaway came, saving Lando for the time being.

When he came back and they started eating, Lando wasn’t interrogated on the topic, at least not until he began giggling on his phone.

“Mate, what are you- Oh my god guys he is giggling and texting his new neighbor. Chat, this is unbelievable.” Max yelled as he stole Lando’s phone from his hand. Reading the messages with disgust, he added, “God, you need to work on your flirting, you sound like an absolute muppet right now.”

Lando quickly took his phone back and tried to change the topic. Throughout the rest of the stream, he tried his best to not look at the new messages she had sent in order to not be teased, as the chat seemed to still be mentioning every time he would secretly text her, trying to be stealthy as to not let Max find out.

He just hoped this whole thing stayed on the stream, and that it wouldn’t come to the press, who loved to question him on his relationships. The last thing he needed was to be asked this during media after a race.

He wouldn’t be so lucky, he soon would find out after the next race.

Read Part 2 here!

#formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

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hotvintagepoll · 1 day

Note

What are some screwball comedy pairings you wish had been a thing? Can definitely be gay ones :)

Okay finally!

One of the reasons I made this blog in the first place is that few things bring me as much blinding rage as imagining the movies we could have gotten, if old Hollywood had stopped being racist/homophobic/anti-everyone for ten fucking seconds. There were so many talented hotties working through our tournament era who only got cameo spots or no-budget movies! for no reason beyond white supremacy! there were so many stories that didn't get told because heaven forbid we acknowledge gay people! If this blog has a mission statement, a big chunk of it would be about highlighting all the amazing hotties who never got what they deserved in their heyday.

So! Let's tear Louis B. Mayer a new one and make some better movies.

Diamond Eyes (1946)

Harold Nicholas, the bored but fabulous son of a Manhattan millionaire, decides to take himself off on a transatlantic cruise to recover from the boredoms of socialites, constant martinis, and west side glamor. When working girl Rita Hayworth snags him into a fake dating scheme to throw off a jealous ex (Cesar Romero), he doesn't mean to fall in love with his false fiancé—or to set the ex up with his scheming accountant (Tyrone Power).

To the Tune of Millions (1945)

Ann Miller and Lena Horne are conwomen besties who use a fake dance act to get into casinos, which they then promptly rob. Unfortunately, an over-enthusiastic talent agent (Gene Kelly) sees the act and thinks they're legitimate, hiring them on the spot as the lead number in a newly opened but already failing musicale review. Who can they hustle at a theater that's barely bringing in a dime? The two ex-cons fall in love with show business, Kelly and Horne smooch at the grand finale, and Miller has an intense will-they-or-won't-they sparring relationship with the hot stage manager (Ethel Waters—and they will).

Untitled Three's-a-Crowd Film (1942)

Cary Grant, Jean Arthur, and Ronald Colman are running interference on a corrupt justice system while trying to keep up the act that they are all simply cohabitating in a shared AirBnB and definitely not falling in love with each other. Wait. This is actually The Talk of the Town. This movie actually exists and does veer this hard into polyamorous romance.

Tomatoes and Toast (1928)

Anna May Wong and Greta Garbo eat sandwiches for three hours. It's riveting.

One Soul, Two Bodies (1948)

Farley Granger and Vincent Price star as Alexander the Great and Hephaestion in this sword-and-sandals period piece. Though clearly made on a studio backlot with a budget of $3, the dashing romance grounds the chariot races and cardboard sword battle sequences.

Grand Central Station (1931)

Interconnected narratives of Josephine Baker, Joan Blondell, Dolores del Río, and Fredric March all vying for the last seat on the 5:45 train out to Poughkeepsie. When they realize they're jostling to sit next to the same sugar daddy who's been stringing all of them along, the four decide to unionize. Pre-code thrills; the four-in-a-bunk Pullman car scene remains notable for a reason.

I have more but I think I've gone a bit delirious.

#asks #silly times

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unstable-samurai · 2 days

Text

Breathing This Calm Night - smut

Yunjin x Male Reader

ONE-SHOT

Tags: fluff, oral sex, one-shot, tightjob, penetration, k-idol, famous girl, secret relationship

A/n: This is my first request. Thanks @dav1233555 for the plot suggestion 🫡

The two of you were anxiously dragging yourself towards the end of the day. Slowly the hours passed, seeming to last longer than they should, while a hurried and hard routine was followed, with no time to even exchange a few messages.

But you were finally free, at least for now, from the mess that is a magazine of international relevance.

I am arriving

You read the message and smiled at the phone screen. It wasn't crowded at the restaurant you chose to have dinner at. You reflected for a moment, and thought there was a bit of madness in what you two were doing, but it was indisputable that it was genuine and pure.

Truth be told, this whole thing was real. And thinking that this could be a bit crazy (in other people's eyes, to be more precise) only made your panoramic view of society more bitter.

After all, what was so great about being a foreigner and dating a K-idol? Well, you weren't the guy who was going to change the view of an entire society, so worrying about it was useless.

At least there was some security that this relationship would not be leaked to the media. Well, you were in fact part of the fucking media. There was support from the magazine you worked for (not that you were the owner or anything), and at least no one on your team would poke your eye out. Some other editors you trust already knew about your relationship. It was one of the countless advantages of being in a high position in the company and having a strong influence on what happened inside. I mean, someone from the magazine could try to fuck with you, snakes exist everywhere, doing this in an attempt to self-promote or even abandon ship, handing over the leak of your relationship to another magazine or tabloid (in the headline the motherfuckers would find a way to use the word "affair", just because your previous relationship ended a month before you met Yunjin). But you would discover the funny guy so easily that there wouldn't even be any fun in solving the mystery. All it took was a single call to your father, simply the greatest editor-in-chief who worked at the magazine's headquarters. Already retired, but still exercising great decision-making power thanks to his long years of contributions to the magazine. Your old man was seen almost as a royal advisor or a wise monk where directors, managers and editors from various sectors of the magazine went to ask for advice and help. You were relatively shielded from leaks.

You noticed her approaching. Well disguised, with glasses, hair tied back and comfortable clothes. She looked like just another ordinary girl. You couldn't help but notice the NY Knicks sweatshirt you had given her as a gift, it was both of your favorite team.

She greeted you with a discreet hug. You still hadn't gotten used to the fact that you couldn't give a peck in public que in South Korea. In your perception, it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Hi, baby! How are you?" she asked you as she sat down at the table.

"Better now, honey. What about you?"

"The same!"

"Was the day as hard as always?" you asked.

"Definitely!" she replied. Yunjin seemed eager for this question. She continued, “In the morning I had rap class. By the way, I think I'm getting better. Oh, and in the afternoon I recorded my lines, like, over and over again. very specific of what he wants for this track. The music producer has a very specific vision of what he wants for this track. He apologized and admitted that it might take some time to achieve the desired result.”

"Well, I trust your talent. Remember that you and your group are dealing with a delicate concept. I have seen up close the production of albums that address intimate themes, it is always a challenge, but also a true work and certainly a amazing gift for the fans. You girls are going to do great."

Yunjin laughed, a little shyly.

"It feels like I'm talking to a music critic instead of my boyfriend."

"Well, you're actually talking to a music critic. Oh, by the way, I remembered that I won't be writing the article about Le Sserafim's new album like I said before."

Her expression was one of surprise. Yunjin asked:

"Is it because of me?”

"Yes." you answered honestly. “Well, look, love, I'm prioritizing our relationship and thinking about the future. If this is for real, eventually the press will hear about us together, and a review from me about my girlfriend's music group obviously it would make my opinion seem partial and biased. It's just to avoid future problems."

"Okay" She looked upset. "But I'll still want to know your opinion when you hear the album."

"I'm really looking forward to hearing it." You smiled, making her feel better. "I left the review about the new album for a good friend of mine to write. I really respect her opinion."

"I think we're in good hands. But let's stop talking about work for a bit!"

The waiter seemed to have heard Yunjin's speech as he appeared to save them right after she finished saying that. Yunjin had great taste in food, that's why she always chose the order for the two of you, you weren't the "culinary trailblazer" type; a few months in South Korea and you only knew five typical dishes (always returning to the arms of the big fast-food chains).

"Oh, I almost forgot to give you this!" You handed her a gift. "It had been on my lap for so long that I had forgotten I had brought it with me."

"Oh, baby! You didn't have to do that!"

She started to unwrap it.

"Hope you like."

You waited for her reaction. Yunjin smiled and made a cute little noise when she saw that it was a book (although she already knew from the shape of the gift wrap).

"You know I love reading! Thank you so much."

"It's The Alchemist. I know you love fantasy and this silly self-help thing. This book is a mix of both."

You saw her eyes light up.

"You're perfect. I love how well you know me. And self-help isn't silly, it's very good for evolving as a human being." she scolded you.

You shrugged.

"It's not the kind of thing I'd like to put on my bookshelf. But to each their own.”

She laughed.

"I'm still going to make you read one of these."

"Well, I've already read The Alchemist. And if I thought it was average, you'll think it's a masterpiece."

★

It was around 10pm when the two of you finally arrived at your apartment. Dinner was very good, especially dessert (that bingsu thing was really awesome), and by that night there was no more energy for more fun, it was preferable to have a good night's sleep so that the next day you could do something together. Even so, Yunjin hummed excitedly in the car on the way home. You appreciated all that joy.

You took off your shoes when Yunjin took off her NY Knicks sweatshirt, leaving only a tight tank top on her body. You noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra by the way her breasts showed through the fabric of her tank top. You slowly approached her and grabbed her from behind, kissing her repeatedly. Yunjin wrapped her hands around your neck as she giggled at the series of kisses.

“Will you be my teddy bear tonight?” she asked sweetly. “I need your affection so much, baby.”

“Whatever you need, sweetie.” You said as you kissed her on the neck.

Things were heating up. Your hands slid down Yunjin's soft belly, heavy sighs escaped her mouth unconsciously.

“Look, we still need to shower.” she said.

"No problem." you answered.

“You're putting me in the mood. I'm warning you that if you keep touching me like this, you're going to have to go all the way to finish what you started.”

“And since when has this been a problem for me?” you asked as you led her to the couch.

You took off your shirt and belt from your pants. Yunjin took off her jeans, leaving only her tank top and adorable pink panties. Your hand slid down Yunjin's left thigh while you kissed her right thigh. That was more than enough to give her goosebumps. She had her legs wide open, waiting, almost begging, for you to touch that place. Instead of doing it right away, you decided to play with her a little, kissing and biting her inner thigh while using one of your hands to lightly massage her pussy through her panties. Your lips slid to Yunjin's crotch, where you licked the entire area, she reveled in the act, trying hard not to close her legs with the spasms she was having. It didn't take long for a wet stain to darken the pink of the panties. When you finally removed Yunjin's panties, you saw how wet she was. So horny that she couldn't wait for you, fingering her pussy slowly, opening it with her fingers so you could see how drooling she was; a successful action of provoking you. Then you realized how hard your cock was, pulsing in your pants, painfully tight, which made you hornier.

Without wasting any more time, you dived between Yunjin's legs, eager to taste her (that flavor that was becoming increasingly familiar and addictive… Part of your life. Yeah, we could put it that way), your tongue delighting in the taste and the cozy warmth of the inside of her pussy, while Yunjin moaned softly, digging her nails into the sofa cushions.

“I love it when you suck me like that, baby. You make me feel so good!” she moaned.

At one point she asked to stop because her lust was unbearable and that way he would have an orgasm in a short time.

“I want to feel your cock inside me now.” she said. You had just taken off your underwear when she added, “Wait, what if we fuck in the bathroom. Let’s save time, what do you think?”

Your response was to lift her off the couch and take her to the bathroom. You turned on the light with your elbow and, before you could think of anything, she said:

“Fuck me like this! Your cock goes deep into my pussy when you fuck me in the air.”

You kissed her intensely while you tried to fit your dick into her pussy. The feeling of your cock sliding inside Yunjin was wonderful. Upon realizing that your cock was well placed inside her, you grabbed Yunjin's thighs tightly and began to thrust into her energetically while she held onto you, moaning compulsively.

And Yunjin was right, your dick went deep in that position. You could feel her deep inside, the entire length of your cock was being used, and she loved it. When she announced her orgasm, you wanted to make sure it was intense and pleasurable, the way it made her roll her eyes, so you lifted her a little higher, grabbing her ass, while Yunjin wrapped her legs inside your arms, making her practically hang from you and her pussy is completely inside your dick.

“Oh God, Baby! I’m cumming!”

She trembled holding onto you, while you practically rubbed her pussy on your dick, always rotating it close to your body. It was just a shame that you couldn't enjoy her eyes rolling back at the moment of orgasm, you simply loved seeing her go crazy with pleasure, but there was also a certain contentment in just knowing that it happened.

You sat Yunjin down on the sink and there you started fucking her again, looking deeply into her eyes. At one point she looked at you with so much passion, so much desire that there was a sudden growing desire to fill her pussy with your load of cum.

“Hang me, love.” she asked affectionately.

Her hand wrapped around just over half of her neck, serving as support to fuck her even harder. Sweat running down both bodies, your gaze was lost between the mirror's reflection, her eyes, her tits and her expressions of pleasure. With the sensations highlighted, you realized how much you loved Yunjin and how much this feeling contributed to eminent pleasure during sex.

Holy shit! You were almost there.

You thought about how much you wanted to go deep into this, literally to the end, but you were without a condom and suddenly stopping the act to go get a condom at the end of the championship was a bit... discouraging.

But you have an idea.

“Stand up, sweetie” you said. “Let’s try something new.”

Yunjin got out of the sink, looking at you excitedly.

“Get in the shower stall with me.” you asked, opening the door.

"What do you want to do?"

“It’s nothing out of this world, but it occurred to me that you’ve never given me a tightjob, I think it’s time we tried it.”

She had some assumptions about what this position was, but you helped her anyway. Yunjin was a rather tall girl, so there were no problems for your dick to fit between her thighs, the result was perfect, nothing uncomfortable. You thought about turning on the shower to lube up a little, but her pussy was so wet and the continuous sweat running down between her thighs was already more than great. You grabbed Yunjin's waist tightly and she crossed her legs a little, squeezing your dick.

You began to thrust into her, your cock sliding back and forth as you dragged Yunjin's labia. So you discovered in the best way that this was very pleasurable for both of you. The internal heat started inside you again and gradually you lost yourself in that exciting sensation. As you approached the final explosion, you bestially grabbed Yunjin in every way possible, sliding your sweat-damp hands down her belly, squeezing her breasts and slapping her ass. You lost yourself in the voluptuousness that was Yunjin's body and- Fuck! She loved it. She loved being your instrument of pleasure, knowing that the person she loved so much reached maddening peaks of passion, desire and lust for her. A juice of feelings for an insatiable thirst.

“Oh baby! I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna-”

Without any warning, Yunjin began to move her hips in a rhythm that immediately took you to the precipice of pleasure. The soft, hot, wet, suffocating skin of her thighs dancing over your cock. This was too much for you. When you came, you hugged Yunjin tightly, holding her as if your life depended on it, giving in to inconstant and uncontrollable moans close to her ear. The frantic thrusts lost their rhythm, going deeper and slower through Yunjin's thighs. She held your arms affectionately, waiting for your breathing to become less labored before kissing you.

"I love you." You said to her.

The phrase was so loaded with something that covered your feelings at that moment, and you wished she was the woman of your life and would never leave your side.

"I love you too!" said Yunjin when she found a way out of your tongue. “Baby, you don’t know how much.”

“This took longer than expected. Let’s take our shower.”

“Yep! Let's go."

You turned on the shower. The hot running water was invigorating, even more so being next to Yunjin, you didn't know that sharing certain intimacies was so special until you finally did it with her. you soaped Yunjin's entire body, she helped you wash your back and you shampooed her hair, gently massaging her scalp; it was cute how it relaxed her, she seemed so surrendered to you in that moment, and just a few months ago you were sitting across from her and the other Le Sserafim girls, asking incisive questions about the creative process of their latest album. That's where it all started, after all. And who could say where it would end?

“Hey, baby, let me shampoo your hair now.” Yunjin said with a goofy smile.

Nobody, you thought. Nobody could say.

A/n: sorry for any grammatical errors 😅

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capquinn · 3 days

Text

A Closeness | Q. Hughes

summary: the lake house has never felt smaller. moments alone become something of the past. but after longing touches here and gentle caresses there, quinn seizes an opportunity.

pairing: fem!reader x quinn hughes

content: fluff, mild smut (v vanilla…….seriously)

word count: 3k

note: the smut is for sure tamer than some would like but it still had me blushing lmao enjoy!!!

___

The off-season had finally arrived and so had summer in Michigan.

Days spent on the water with rosy sunburnt cheeks and friends turned into nights in the garden basking in the glow of a deep orange sunset and warm flickering shadows of the bonfire. Drinks poured and secrets spilled under starry skies that echo with celebrations of the hockey season and despondent mumblings of what it could have been. The conversations oscillate between just the two for the first three nights and then on the fourth night, there is a sense of normalcy. Just a bunch of friends engaged in animated conversations about some silly gossip, voices rising and falling like the rhythm of waves lapping at the shore by the pier. Hockey long forgotten. At least for a little while.

But even in the midst of his friends, Quinn’s attention is mostly on you.

So when your laughter punctuates the night air, Quinn turns his head, distracted from his own conversation. You’re standing with Jack by the cooler, nursing the same glass of wine that he had poured you an hour ago, and sharing an inside joke.

A small smile plays on his lips, and a warm feeling washes over him. You fit into his life seamlessly, and every once in a while, the universe conspires to remind him of just that.

He excuses himself and falls in place next to you, hand naturally slipping to lay rested on your waist. You lean into him without letting it disrupt the flow of conversation except only when Quinn leans down to press a soft kiss against your forehead. You pause briefly, glancing up to meet his eyes. Love you too. And then you’re bouncing back into conversation, enjoying the way he traces soothing circles onto bare skin under the hem of your t-shirt.

That’s how the evening continued. The moments ebb and flow, never going far at all. Returning with small touches here and tender caresses there… all whispering that he just wanted you near.

That’s when you finally retreat to the edge of the gathering to share a single deck chair. Nestled on his lap, head resting on his shoulder, finding solace in the quiet spaces between words. Fingers trace idle shapes down his arm, and he responds with a kiss to your shoulder. The world fades away around you both; you’re existing within your own reverie.

But after a while, your glass of something sweet and bubbly now empty, you let out a quiet sigh. “I’ll be back,” you whisper, untangling yourself from his body, clasping an empty wineglass.

As your feet meet the grass, Quinn is grasping at your free hand to keep you close.

“Baby,” he whines quietly in a way he only does when he’s buzzed. It’s still early in the evening and you are halfway there yourself. “Where are you going now?”

“Need more wine,” you giggle quietly, sinking back into him, wrapping an arm around his neck.

He shakes his head, disapproving of your answer. “Stay with me,” he tells you, arm snaking back around your waist and hand laying firm against your stomach. “It’s the first time they’ve left us alone,” he states, nodding his head towards your guests.

Hosting your friends had been a great idea. And it still is. Sort of. But with so many of them all here at once, you were both already exhausted. Quinn misses the silence and having his own space. Not used to sharing living quarters with fifteen other people after living in an apartment with just you for the last two years. Because with every turn, there’s another familiar face trying to get a piece of you both. To ask how to use the dishwasher or how to use the washing machine. Where’s the TV remote? To chat and hang out during every awake moment of the day. And the damn teasing that never stopped. Small comments here and shared jokes there whenever Quinn tried to show any form of fondness towards you. Friends unused to seeing their buddy engage in public displays of affection. He’s an easy target so he’s the master of his own undoing, really. Blushing and rolling his eyes, and then snapping back with a witty remark in response that did a poor job of hiding his slight embarrassment over being the centre of attention. A man but with all the awkward boyish charm that made his friends howl with laughter every time. Regardless, never did Quinn imagine that you would both be surrounded by this many people at all times.

A moment passes and then there is a soft murmur, lips brushing against your ear. “Love you so much.”

You turn your head slightly to look at him. Firelight dances in those green eyes, shimmering and intoxicating. And you forget to breathe, enraptured. It doesn’t help matters when he licks his pillowy pink lips. He’s practically begging you to kiss him boldly right here in front of all his friends. But you don’t and instead, the years are thrown back and suddenly you’re both twenty-one again, listening to him confess that he loves you for the very first time right here on this very lawn with those very same loving eyes.

It had been a lazy summer evening and the house was brimming with the energy of family and fiends, but you had both slipped away to the quiet of the lawn. Sprawled out over a faded plaid picnic rug with the golden glow of a setting sun reflecting over the water. Air warm, filled with the distant chirping of crickets. You had been lying side by side, staring up at emerging stars in silence. Quinn had turned on his side, propping himself up on his elbow, eyes tender. And then you felt the change in the night air, the way his gaze made your heart start to race.

He cleared his throat. “You know,” he began, voice uncharacteristically hesitant. “I’ve been wanting to tell you something for a while now.”

Curiosity piqued, a small smile played on your lips. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

He had taken a deep breath, eyes flickering between yours and the lake as if searching for a bout of courage in the still waters. “I… uh, well, I love you.” The words tumbled out in a rush, awkward and unpolished, and he immediately bit his lip, cheeks reddened.

You’re snapped back to reality as Quinn lolls his head to the side with a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his sun kissed cheeks. An amused twinkle in his eyes, noting your obvious lovesick gaze. But he can hardly blame you. He often found himself staring at you like you had hung all the stars in the sky.

There is a soft chuckle and then he’s reaching out to gently tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, sending shivers right down your spine. And finally, he’s kissing you. Paying no attention to whether or not his friends are watching, and frankly, at this point, he really doesn’t care if they are.

“Wanna get out of here?” He mumbles against the corner of your mouth, glancing around to see if you were able to sneak off without anyone noticing.

It seems likely. Jack is yapping on the other side of the fire, animatedly recounting a story with just enough drama that it’s keeping most of the group entertained, and off to your side, a seperate group of friends are bickering competitively over a card game.

In silent understanding, you untangle yourselves and discard the empty beverages on the grass beside the deck chair, and with practiced ease, you slip away from the group. Departure unnoticed.

Thank God, Quinn thinks to himself, intertwining your hands as you cross the lawn towards the lake house looming ahead. He’s not sure how much longer he could have feigned interest in the party. He loves his buddies, don’t get him wrong, but at this point, he’d do anything for just five minutes alone.

When the sounds of the party fade and your giggles mingle with the chirping of crickets and rustling of leaves in trees, it becomes Quinn’s very own private symphony. He can’t resist pulling you close, capturing your lips in a kiss.

“Been waiting to get you alone all night,” he says, voice low and husky, velvety against your skin.

You smile against his lips. “I thought we were just getting away from the mosquitoes,” you tease.

“Well, that too,” he grins. Quinn pecks a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “But mostly ‘cause I’m sick of sharing you with everyone else.”

All week long every corner of this house has been occupied. Every room, every spare sofa. The deck chairs during the morning, and the sun loungers on the pier during the afternoon. The kitchen brimmed with life at all hours of the day with friends cooking, eating and talking late into the night, and it was becoming a battle for bathroom privileges, too. Even his favourite spot in the hammock was taken up by somebody new at every sunset.

The house has never felt smaller.

And then you’re stumbling down the hallway in that very same house, kisses growing more urgent and heated in a way that makes it difficult to move forward.

Hands roaming over each other’s bodies like you’re mapping territory. And there’s strength in Quinn’s embrace. The controlled power that made you feel safe and cherished all the same.

You barely make it through the bedroom door, lips never parting. His fingers fumble with the lock before you’re even inside and then it’s swinging shut behind you with a thud.

“Finally,” Quinn mutters against your skin.

“We’ve got to be quick, okay?” You tell him. It wouldn’t be long until the fire turns to hot coals and your friends decide to call it a night. He only hums in response. “Quinn, I’m serious.”

He grins into the kiss. “Okay. I promise.”

You tug Quinn’s tee over his head and press palms against his back, feeling every dip and curve of his roping muscles. You lean in closer, chest flush with his.

Quinn slowly moves his mouth across your cheek…along your jaw…moving lower, grazing against sensitive skin right over your pulse point.

“Oh,” you gasp, melting into his body, and hands finding their way into his hair.

Fingers drop down your sides, gripping greedily at the material of your sweater and he pushes it up enough so he can make a start on unbuttoning your shorts. Before he even has a chance to remove the garment himself, you’re clutching hastily at the sweater, which is really just Quinn’s that he had given up trying to get back, and pull it from your frame.

He stands back for a brief moment once you’re almost undressed, taking you all in. He thinks you’re so… so…

“So pretty,” he murmurs, pulling you in to meet your lips again.

He steps back, dragging you with him, until the back of his knees hit the edge of the mattress and he’s sinking down into the softness. You’re standing between his knees, clutching onto him for dear life. Afraid you’ll topple over if he ever lets you go. Dizzy with anticipation.

He presses an open mouth kiss to your sternum…a few more around your belly… and then he’s making his way back up to your chest to give the swell of your breasts some attention.

Your arms wrap around Quinn’s neck, head lolling back as the goose bumps raise across your skin.

“Your shorts…” you choke out, trying to hurry things along despite every fibre of your being eager to keep this going deep into the night.

He drops his hands to the waistband of his shorts and peels it from his skin, and then he starts tugging at the waistband of your panties, dropping spongy kisses to your waist as the cotton slackens and falls to the floor.

And when they do, you’re rushing to fill the space between you and straddle his hips. Lips meet in soft collision; slow and deliberate, but it’s desperate all the same. Warm hands trace the curve of your back, coaxing quiet moans to fall from your lips when your hips start rocking into him. Quinn relaxes into the mattress some more and in quick succession, you’re suddenly on your back and he’s between your thighs, mouth pressed against yours, hot and frantic. Chest to chest. Hips moving in long, drawn out strokes.

And then your lips are parting slightly, long enough for him to say, “fuck, I’ve missed this,” each second stretching to an eternity.

You pat his back when he starts to scatter kisses below your ear, thrusts slowing to a halt, trying to hurry him along. There is nothing you want less than to face your friends in the morning if they happen to hear any of this. “Quinn,” you whisper, a plea and reprimand all in one. “They’ll be back soon.”

Lips travel along your jaw and down your neck again, and your hands tangle through his hair, pulling him closer even as you try to remind him of reality. But reality feels far away. Banished by the heat that is building in this moonlit bedroom.

Hands run down your side and dig into your waist before hitching one of your legs over his hip, and he rolls into your body deliberately slow. Again and again. Eliciting sweet sound after sweet sound from your pretty little mouth, hot breath against his neck, and it’s driving him wild.

He shivers. The feeling of you beneath him, body arching into his touch. It’s intoxicating. He just wants to lose himself in this moment and forget everything else. To etch it into memory. Every second, every heartbeat. Warm skin and quiet moans. The smell of your shampoo with his face tucked into the crook of your neck. It fuses together into a heady mix which makes it hard to think or care about anything else.

But you won’t let him forget where you are.

You push his hair out of his eyes and caress his cheek, bringing his face up from your neck, eyes locking for a heartbeat before you kiss him. “I really hate to rush this but—” you start to say, lips lingering over his.

“Then don’t,” he mutters, cutting you short. He runs a hand up and down your torso before pinning your body to the mattress with a hand on your waist. He grinds into you again, still deliciously slow. Savouring it. And if you didn’t know any better, he’s teasing you.

And then he sits up so he’s kneeling between your thighs, and your legs fall around him. He rubs his shoulder with his chin, trying to hide a smirk but it’s there despite his efforts. “Why are you thinking about them anyway? Should be thinking about me,” he tells you, hips grinding into yours, abs clenching.

You bite back a grin, teeth sinking into your swollen bottom lip. “Trust me, I am thinking about you. But if our friends come back and hear us, I’ll be thinking about murder.”

A chuckle vibrates through Quinn’s chest. “Fair point,” he concedes, leaning over you so your chests are flush. Lips finds yours again, demanding your attention.

With the snapping of his hips, rhythm quickening, you give it to him. Stars blurring your vision. Hands roaming fevered skin, tracing the contours of his body with a reverence of desperation. Ache bubbling under your skin. Breaths coming out in ragged gasps.

“Quinn,” you say through gritted teeth between a moan, nails scraping down his back, overcome with a storm of sensations. The friction. The pressure. It’s all too much.

It spurs him on. Driving him to the edge of sanity and back again, chasing the elusive promise of release. And you’re no different. Clasping at the sheets, struggling to hold on. His movements grow more frantic with each passing second. The short, sharp whimpers you’re letting fall from your lips push him back to the precipice.

He shifts slightly, adjusting his angle, and suddenly hits a spot so divine that you’re unable to spare a word. The stars behind your eyes becoming more vivid as you surrender to the ecstasy that pulses between you both, a tempest that rages unchecked in the darkness. Through the haze, you hear the telltale sound of heavy footsteps on the patio, signalling the return of your friends.

“We’re gonna get caught,” you gasp, very much aware that you’re stating the obvious, panicked. Nails dig crescent moons into his shoulders, urging him on even as you try to anchor him to reality.

Quinn's breath hitches, a low, guttural moan escaping as he teeters on the brink. "Baby, I'm—," his voice breaks. Deep and throaty moans reverberate through you, skin to skin, chest to chest. A plea for something that hovers just out of reach. “Almost there. Just a little more,” he whispers into your ear, voice a low and soothing murmur despite the urgency in his tone.

The world around you blurs.

Quinn’s breathing hitches again and he shudders, thrusts stuttering, and it’s the final push you need. His pleasure your catalyst. And with one last final desperate roll into your body, the coil of tension snaps and a wave of ecstasy washes over you both.

Starlight swapping for solar flares.

“Baby,” he whines and you wonder if he knows that he’s only making it harder for you to stay quiet.

The room spins. Eyes stinging. Mind blanking. Toes curling. Your fingers grasp at his hair, knuckles white. His head tucked into the crook of your neck, mouth pressed against your skin. Trying your damn hardest to keep your voices low but it’s hard. It’s raw. His teeth scrape over your throat as he grinds his jaw, groaning deeply. The waves keep crashing until it dissolves into nothing but heaving chests. His breath, your exhale.

There’s low murmurs in the hallway on the other side of the bedroom door. Footsteps shuffle on hardwood floors and then there are more heavy footsteps as whoever it is begins climbing the stairs.

“You promised we’d be quick,” you remind him, touching lips to the corner of his parted mouth.

Quinn chuckles softly, a playful glint in his eyes. He kisses you breathlessly, and then rolls off of you, crashing into the pillows. “That was quick,” he defends, feigning innocence.

#who doesn't love a lil summer loving quinny huh #quinn hughes fic #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes blurb #quinn hughes fanfic

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cuppajj · 3 days

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Beast Ancients AU FAQ

I’ve seen a lot of asks in my inbox that are identical to each other, so I decided to put em all in one post and then some. This’ll be updated the more I develop the AU and the more info we get.

As a disclaimer, I am very new to CRK (as of December 2023) and I haven’t gotten to all the game or story modes yet (notably odyssey), so things are definitely bound to change + be elaborated on more! Anyway without further ado:

General

What are the Beast Ancients’ themes?

Vanilla is Penance, Lily is Sovereignty, Dragonberry is Pride, Cacao is Solitude, and Cheese is Conquest. I tried to keep them within the realm of their original meanings

Essentially my philosophy is: Penance is the acknowledgment (truth) that sins such as deceit exist in the world and must be cleansed. Sovereignty is an extreme form of freedom where one can have all the agency they wish, but can be just as silent about their presence/power as well. Pride is a byproduct of passion or sloth, boiling down to the adamancy of the subject. Solitude is a choice made with both resolution and apathy in various degrees, and lastly Conquest promises an abundant future at the cost of untold destruction.

If the ancients are bad, are the beasts good?

No, the old Beasts are still a threat. With a total of ten beasts to worry about, the situation on Earthbread is very dire. However, there is still hope left, and hope can go a long way.

Is there a new set of ancient heroes with soul jams?

No, and there likely won’t be. The Neo Beasts and first Beasts still have their respective soul jam halves, and both want each other’s.

Where’s Gingerbrave and his party?

Likely the Crème Republic, which becomes a refuge for many cookies after the rise of the neo beasts. They’re at the front of the resistance movement, working with Clotted Cream Cookie to plan how the beasts will be taken down.

What do the Neo Beasts think of their past selves?

Generally they see themselves as improved or improving. The only one who doesn’t feel that way is Frigid Cacao, who doesn’t reflect on himself that often.

Did they all corrupt at the same time?

Still working on that part. The timeline for beast ancients is a WIP, but for now, it’s likely that while they didn’t corrupt at once, they corrupted pretty close to one another. Cheese was likely first, followed by Lily. Vanilla was among the last to fall and evidently had it the worst.

Do the Neo Beasts still have kingdoms? How is life like there?

Answered here

What are the cookies of darkness doing?

As of writing (5/31/24) we don’t have a lot of info on the cookies of darkness in beast yeast, but at the very least I can say Dark Enchantress cookie may or may not know about Midnight Lily’s plan to destroy her.

How would legendaries react?

I admittedly don’t know everything about the legendaries to say yet, but they’re all alarmed to some degree. I can flesh them out the more I learn about them

Individual Neo Beast questions under cut!

Saint Vanilla Cookie

How do his powers work?

Answered here

Does he know he’s killing cookies?

Nope, he doesn’t see it as that and it would pain him to. He sees purification as a form of transition or ascension in itself, to put it simply; he might even envy those he turns to stardust, knowing his own tainted soul will be so much harder to liberate.

Why is he constantly crying?

He’s just like that. He’s just that big of an empath.

Has his relationship with Lily changed?

Saint Vanilla still cares very much about Lily, and may even be more open about his feelings towards her; but he admits the only reason why she’s still alive is because she convinced him to leave her for last. Lily very well knows that Vanilla, in his delusion, wants to purify her more than anyone else. Vanilla often pities her choice to stew in her tainted soul, but he respects her decision… at least the alternative is that they’ll someday be the only two cookies on Earthbread.

What happened to Black Raisin?

As the very first to witness his rise, she inadvertently became his very first martyr.

Where’s Custard Cookie III?

With his relatives in the Crème Republic, alongside the rest of Gingerbrave’s party. The kid has a hard time wrapping his head around what happened to Pure Vanilla, and it may be a blessing that he’s been largely focused on worrying about the well being of his uncle, Clotted Cream Cookie. As the head of the resistance, he’s been working tirelessly… is this what a king goes through too?

Shadow Milk’s opinion on Saint?

To put it simply, he starts out thinking that a delusional Vanilla will be easy to manipulate, but he soon finds out that Saint Vanilla is way smarter and more aware than made out to be. He knows Shadow Milk is with him, and he wants to purge him from his soul; but that is a process that may be harder than anything else. So in the meantime, Shadow Milk can watch as he continues on his path of Penance towards ascension, fighting back the resistance he creates before it can truly harm him. Essentially, Saint Vanilla isn’t trapped with Shadow Milk, Shadow Milk is trapped with Saint Vanilla.

Dragonberry Cookie

Is the skull on her head real?

Yes! It comes from a nondescript monster.

If Pitaya is imprisoned, where is Snapdragon?

With Tarte Tatin and/or Royal Margarine. Dragon City likely got taken over by Dragonberry’s kingdom, but they noped out of there as it happened. The two of them might’ve been the first few to recognize Hollyberry’s spiral into corruption and where it was headed

How is her family doing?

Alright for the most part, but they can feel Dragonberry’s influence in every aspect of their life now. While Royal and Jungleberry are technically still the king and queen, it’s only a figurehead role as Dragonberry is the true ruler. She still cares about her family very much, but she’s controlling and good at keeping them under her thumb. Dragonberry’s granddaughter Princess Cookie is the only one who objects this new way of life, and runs away from the palace.

How would the other dragons react?

The other dragons aren’t canon to CRK so they’re not canon to the au by extension, but just for this question, they’d be different levels of alarmed or concerned save for maybe Longan. I could see Ananas wanting a word with Dragonberry in particular esp since they’re both prideful cookies

Frigid Cacao Cookie

Does he ever go outside?

Very rarely, but it’s usually to observe the licorice sea or meet with the few denizens he has left.

Where is Dark Choco?

Still working on this part (waiting for Apathy pt 2 to come out so I have a better idea), but he’s likely alone by himself. He heard wind of his father’s corruption though and took it less well than he thought he would. Perhaps he’ll run into someone who feels the same?

Is his permafrost truly permanent or can the frozen citizens be thawed?

Technically yes, the permafrost can be thawed, but it’s a meticulous process since Cacao’s ice isn’t normal ice. It’s a cure that Crunchy Chip is looking for to save Caramel Arrow.

How does the licorice sea work for him and how did he come to tame it?

I can’t say how yet outside of the fact that it was a definitely cool and heroic thing for Dark Cacao to do, on the scale of taming the Black and White dragons. The sea, arguably a sentient monster in itself, and all of the creatures within it came to follow Cacao and Cacao only. Now it almost acts like an extension of himself: the beast can make the sea do whatever he wants, like acting as his shield, arms, or barrier, and the licorice horrors will vehemently defend him. There are tons of monsters roaming his frozen kingdom now.

Mystic Flour’s opinion on Cacao?

Working on it, but to some degree she knows Cacao is much stronger than he looks. She might see his apparent apathy for his frozen kingdom with fondness though.

Celestial Cheese Cookie

Is the Golden City still running or did she leave it to die?

It may still be running but in a scaled-down beta form. Cheese learned to accept the fact that what she’d built was entirely fake, but she didn’t move on from regaining what was lost. Her virtual Golden City serves as a blueprint for the kingdom she wants on Earthbread, and then some; with nothing in the barren desert to grow her kingdom, her brightened eyes turn elsewhere towards civilizations that could be brought into the fold. Such is the beginning of the Beast of Conquest’s terror.

She does sometimes visit her golden city, only sometimes. It doesn’t look the same; it’s not a paradise for her to escape to, but it is a promise of what she will have someday. This time, it will be no mirage, and there will be no one to threaten its destruction ever again.

Midnight Lily Cookie

What is her opinion on dark enchantress cookie?

DE is the source of insecurity for Lily, who regards herself as the weakest among all the beasts. Because she’s half of a complete whole, who was already half of another whole, she is passionate about reuniting her souls. While she is focused on expanding the influence of the faerie kingdom, her true goal is to track down Dark Enchantress Cookie and destroy her; but she knows she will need more help than just herself, and has considered asking for help from other vengeful allies.

Does she still guard the silver tree?

Yes, she still fiercely honors Elder Faerie’s wishes.

Have her relationships with the other neo beasts changed?

Ish, most notably her and Celestial Cheese are a little more on speaking terms; but they’re connecting through their potential partnership as Lily hopes she can help her take down Dark Enchantress. In return, she might help her expand her kingdom and take down Burning Spice.

If more FAQs come up, I will make a part two. Thank you for your interest!

#beast ancients au #pure vanilla cookie #hollyberry cookie #dark cacao cookie #golden cheese cookie #white lily cookie #crk #crk au #cookie run kingdom au

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e-r-a-n · 2 days

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Eran.

— the last surviving follower.

— chosen by the Victim.

— the future God of Life.

— magic is easier for her.

— she is eternally grateful to Darke. She will not be able to fight with him, even in the event of a conflict.

— in the future, she will conquer territories.

— she likes to have her hair stroked.

— in the future, she will definitely fight with the Chosen One.

— can see Victim in dreams.

— she loves his last remaining costume of his people.

— can remain quiet even when seriously injured.

— can stay without food for a long time.

— has a psychological trauma associated with the death of relatives.

— hates almost all deities.

— she will not be able to betray a loved one.

— she loves golden juice.

— she will definitely take revenge on the God of agriculture.

— she does not know how to show love.

— she will be able to restore the balance.

— at first, no one knows about the existence of her state.

— she can heal a person's moral state with her aura and save them from depression.

— the more acute the emotional state, the faster she can heal the spiritual state of another person.

— until the last moment, she was afraid to go into the territory of death.

"once she becomes a deity, her appearance will be transformed.

The Dark Lord is the God of death.

At the moment, he has vast territories located in the Northern Hemisphere. He has dark magic. He talked a lot with Victim. He is the second god after life. Appeared when the first creature died. He tried to protect the follower of life, but he couldn't because of the sudden attack. He remained without emotions and feelings, put a barrier for other deities to enter his territory. Does not trust any of the deities after the death of Victim. Trying to restore the balance of life and death.

He also sees how many people have left to live. He can speed up this process, but not increase it.

Victim is the God of Life.

One of the most senior gods, who had huge prosperous territories. He was located in the Southern Hemisphere. Life flourished on his land. He gave his people the power of healing, which made them almost invincible. After Victim was overthrown and accused of being a heretic, his people were exterminated. Only Eran survived. Alan created him when the first creature appeared.

He liked to wear a white cape decorated with gold patterns.

The Orange King is the God of power.

He borders territories with the Chosen One, the Dark Lord and almost the entire Central Bank. He did not participate in the extermination and was neutral to such a decision. He communicates normally with almost everyone. He often visits Gold and Violet. Uses a staff that has incredible power. He can easily control ordinary people, capture their minds. He can read their minds and choose their fate. A cruel but intelligent puppeteer and manipulator.

Red is the God of animal husbandry and agriculture.

He borders territories with the entire CG and is a member of it. He actively participated in the extermination, destroyed a large number of refugees, including Sister Eran. He has the features of a wildcat, as well as very sharp claws. He was chosen by the past God of agriculture. After the fall of the God of Life, his vegetation fell, as did crops and livestock. Red blamed everything on karma from Victim and began collecting the bodies of the dead followers of the God of Life to use them as fertilizers, because their blood and wings are capable of all living things. The archives were sold to the God of Wisdom. A pendant is his accessory attached to his ear.

— has hatred from Eran.

— has little fear of the God of Death.

Alan is the God of time.

This deity lives by himself. He has one small continent in the middle of the sea. There are no followers and no religion, he communicates in all languages. He created a Victim and can mentally contact all the gods, read the thoughts of any creature. It is unknown when he appeared.

The Chosen One/Chous is the god of war.

He borders the territories of Dark, King and Yellow. Across the ocean, the same with Alan and Red. He also actively participated in the extermination, killed most of the followers of life in his territories and Dark. He used to have wings, but Dark cut them off to him as punishment, because he is still dependent on scarlet. Relations with the CG are neutral. After the fall of the god of life, the death rate in his state jumped sharply, and the birth rate decreased. He also believed that Victim himself was involved in this. He destroyed archives and, in principle, the state of life.

— afraid of the god of time[Alan], since he has never seen him and does not know anything about him.

— afraid of the god of death after punishment

#alan becker #animator vs animation #ava/m #ava tdl #ava the dark lord #help me i don't know how draw...#ava tco #ava victim #ava red #avm king orange #avm fanart #avm red #eran #my au #avm

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hippolotamus · 2 days

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Sentence Sunday ✨

I can show you lies 'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks 'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

Beloved mutuals and pocket pals... I honestly don't know what to say for myself. This is a case of 'I listened to a song too much, I had an idea I knew I was never gonna write' turned 'I'll just throw it out as a prompt' --> 'I'll just make a moodboard' --> 'Oh god, I've written over 1k words in place of a summary'. SO. Have... whatever this is, T Swift influenced Buddie actor au. Under the cut to save your dash.

Honestly, if the world still exists in the morning, Eddie Diaz doesn't really give a fuck. His girlfriend left, claiming he's still not over his late wife, and his teenage son, the last thread connecting him to said wife, went to go live with his grandparents. After, of course, blaming Eddie for pushing 'yet another one' away. Christopher wouldn't even look at him before he went.

Then there's Anita Mills, his agent, who is probably a few blood pressure points away from a stroke at this point. Assuming she doesn't fire him first.

Let her, he thinks, grabbing a bottle of Maker's Mark from the cabinet. He has a string of blockbuster films to his name, not to mention a commendable collection of Oscar's and Emmy's. Not that they made his parents proud or kept his wife from leaving him before she died. But they exist as proof that he's had a successful career. Between investments and liquid assets he has more money than he would know what to do with in a hundred lifetimes. So, fuck it.

Eddie breaks the wax seal and twists off the red cap. He doesn't even bother with a glass, not really seeing a need. He's never been a big drinker, but lately his tolerance has grown considerably. Indulging until he passes out seems like an ideal use of his time right now anyway. If he wakes up after? Well, he'll consider that a success.

------------------

"Hey! What the hell?!" Eddie manages, coughing and trying not to choke on the ice cold water hitting his body. He opens his eyes to see Mills towering over him, glowering and holding an empty vase. He swipes a hand across his face. "Seriously, Anita, what the fuck was that?"

"I don't know, Eddie, you tell me." She disappears for less than a minute, returning with a hand towel she unceremoniously drops on his chest. "Help me out here. What's today?"

He wriggles himself to something resembling sitting and leans back against the coffee table. "What's today?" He parrots back dumbly.

Anita crosses her arms and quirks an eyebrow. "I asked you first."

Today, today, today. Where was he supposed to be- "Shit! The interview with, uh, fuck." He snaps his fingers and racks his brain trying to remember a name or a face. All he knows is they're important.

"Claudette Collins. Very good, Eddie, you got it part way."

"Give me ten minutes, I'll put myself together and we can go," he says, fighting the violent wave of nausea that hits as he scrambles to stand up.

"Save your poor carpet from getting puked on and sit the hell down."

"What? No, I can-"

"Eddie," Anita interjects, "the interview was five hours ago. The interview with the Claudette Collins. The one that took me months of phone calls, groveling and cashing in favors to get for you."

Fuck. "Anita, I'm so sorry. How-"

"Save it." Anita holds her hand up, effectively silencing him. It takes him back to being seven years old and having to explain why his dad's truck had an enormous dent in it. She rests her hands on her hips, pacing back and forth as she purses her lips. Eventually she sits in the leather armchair situated in the corner. "Eddie, you and I have known each other a long time. A long time. I've been your agent since you walked into my shitty office back in Dallas. Given your impressive display of awards, I'd say we've done pretty well together."

She inhales sharply, rubbing at her temple. Anita doesn't mince words, it's part of why he's always liked her. He never has to question where he stands. She says 'jump' and he knows exactly how high. It's not difficult to guess what's coming next.

"Eddie, I know you're going through a rough patch. What you're dealing with is hard enough without seeing it splashed on every tabloid and trashy website. Not to mention none of those places knows the real story, so it's all a bunch of 'she said he might have said' bullshit. But you've made it through tougher things." Anita doesn't need to clarify that she's talking about Shannon's death and how his parents tried to take Christopher. "I don't know what's happening this time, but I need to take a step back. My wife has made it very clear that all of my attempts at stress management are not working and that if I can't get it under control I shouldn't be surprised when I come home to an empty house. So."

Eddie swallows, waiting for the inevitable and cursing himself for pretending he wouldn't care.

"I've talked to a few friends in the business and found someone willing to take you on."

What?

"What? You're not firing me?"

Anita's features soften. "Technically, yes. I am very much dropping you like a scorpion I found in my boots. However, like I said, I found someone willing to work with you. The name is Bobby Nash. He runs a smallish agency but don't let that throw you. He's cobbled together some pretty impressive talent. I assume you've heard of Evan Buckley?"

Eddie scoffs. "Of course I have. Who hasn't? Christ, he's everywhere you look. I can't pass a damn bus stop without seeing his face." A few details begin to click into place within Eddie's muddled brain. "Bobby Nash is his agent?"

"Sure is. And we all know the stories about Evan's past aren't the type you trot out at parties. My advice is that you don't look a gift horse in the mouth, go with Nash and do whatever he tells you to do. He even has a role in mind for you, costarring with Buckley. What do you say?"

What else was there to say? If Eddie didn't want to get blacklisted or wind up as some washed up tragic Hollywood story, being gossiped about where everyone - including his son - could see what a failure he was...

"I guess I say- when can I meet him?"

"Good answer." Anita clasps her hands together and gives him her signature smirk that tells him she approves. "Just leave everything to me."

Up to this point, Eddie has trusted Anita implicitly with all the messy business that comes with having him for a client. Why stop now?

tagged by @loveyouanyway @spotsandsocks @wikiangela @tizniz

np tagging @actuallyitsellie @epicbuddieficrecs @a-noble-dragon @mountedeverest @fortheloveofbuddie

@weewootruck @saybiwithme @bidisasterevankinard @shipperqueen6 @ramonaflow

@taketheplanspinitsideways @dangerpronebuddie @theotherbuckley @stereopticons @kitteneddiediaz

@daffi-990 @diazsdimples @your-catfish-friend

@thekristen999 @filet-o-feelings @underwaterninja13 @lizzie-bennetdarcy @rainbow-nerdss

@steadfastsaturnsrings @inell @jesuisici33 @rmd-writes

@shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @queerbuckleys @bi-buckrights @elvensorceress

@bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @hoodie-buck @indestructibleheart @ladydorian05

@lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @the-likesofus

@thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @welcometololaland @wildlife4life and anyone else who wants to 😘

#hippo writes #buddie wip #actors au #not what i saw myself doing today #but when is that ever true #fic: lights camera bitch smile #seven sentence sunday #sentence sunday #sunday sentences #do i know what i'm doing?#not a clue

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reasonsforhope · 2 days

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"Nasir Mansoor has spent 40 years fighting for Pakistan’s workers. Whether demanding compensation on behalf of the hundreds of people who died in a devastating 2012 factory fire in Karachi or demonstrating against Pakistani suppliers to global fashion brands violating minimum wage rules, he’s battled many of the country’s widespread labor injustices.

Yet so far, little has improved, said Mansoor, who heads Pakistan’s National Trade Union Federation in Karachi... Regulations and trade protocols look good on paper, but they rarely trickle down to the factory level. “Nobody cares,” Mansoor said. “Not the government who makes commitments, not the brands, and not the suppliers. The workers are suffering.”

Change on the Horizon

But change might finally be on the horizon after Germany’s new Supply Chain Act came into force last year. As Europe’s largest economy and importer of clothing, Germany now requires certain companies to put risk-management systems in place to prevent, minimize, and eliminate human rights violations for workers across their entire global value chains. Signed into law by German Chancellor Olaf Scholz in January 2023, the law covers issues such as forced labor, union-busting, and inadequate wages, for the first time giving legal power to protections that were previously based on voluntary commitments. Companies that violate the rules face fines of up to 8 million euros ($8.7 million)...

...As governments come to realize that a purely voluntary regimen produces limited results, there is now a growing global movement to ensure that companies are legally required to protect the people working at all stages of their supply chains.

The German law is just the latest example of these new due diligence rules—and it’s the one with the highest impact, given the size of the country’s market. A number of other Western countries have also adopted similar legislation in recent years, including France and Norway. A landmark European Union law that would mandate all member states to implement similar regulation is in the final stages of being greenlighted.

Although the United States has legislation to prevent forced labor in its global supply chains, such as the 2021 Uyghur Forced Labor Prevention Act, there are no federal laws that protect workers in other countries from abuses that fall short of forced labor. That said, a proposed New York state bill, the Fashion Act, would legally require most major U.S. and international brands to identify, prevent, and remediate human rights violations in their supply chain if passed, with noncompliance subject to fines. Since major fashion brands could hardly avoid selling their products in New York, the law would effectively put the United States on a similar legal level as Germany and France...

The Results So Far

As of January, Germany’s new law applies to any company with at least 1,000 employees in the country, which covers many of the world’s best-known fast fashion retailers, such as Zara and Primark. Since last January [Jan 2023], German authorities say they have received 71 complaints or notices of violations and conducted 650 of their own assessments, including evaluating companies’ risk management.

In Pakistan, the very existence of the German law was enough to spark action. Last year, Mansoor and other union representatives reached out to fashion brands that sourced some of their clothing in Pakistan to raise concerns about severe labor violations in garment factories. Just four months later, he and his colleagues found themselves in face-to-face meetings with several of those brands—a first in his 40-year career. “This is a big achievement,” he said. “Otherwise, [the brands] never sit with us. Even when the workers died in the factory fire, the brand never sat with us.” ...

-via The Fuller Project, April 2, 2024. Article headers added by me.

Article continues below, with more action-based results, including one factory that "complied, agreeing to respect minimum wages and provide contract letters, training on labor laws, and—for the first time—worker bonuses"

With the help of Mansoor and Zehra Khan, the general secretary of the Home-Based Women Workers Federation, interviews with more than 350 garment workers revealed the severity of long-known issues.

Nearly all workers interviewed were paid less than a living wage, which was 67,200 Pakistan rupees (roughly $243) per month in 2022, according to the Asia Floor Wage Alliance. Nearly 30 percent were even paid below the legal minimum wage of 25,000 Pakistani rupees per month (roughly $90) for unskilled workers. Almost 100 percent had not been given a written employment contract, while more than three-quarters were either not registered with the social security system—a legal requirement—or didn’t know if they were.

When Mansoor, Khan, and some of the organizations raised the violations with seven global fashion brands implicated, they were pleasantly surprised. One German retailer reacted swiftly, asking its supplier where the violations had occurred to sign a 14-point memorandum of understanding to address the issues. (We’re unable to name the companies involved because negotiations are ongoing.) The factory complied, agreeing to respect minimum wages and provide contract letters, training on labor laws, and—for the first time—worker bonuses.

In February [2024], the factory registered an additional 400 workers with the social security system (up from roughly 100) and will continue to enroll more, according to Khan. “That is a huge number for us,” she said.

It’s had a knock-on effect, too. Four of the German brand’s other Pakistani suppliers are also willing to sign the memorandum, Khan noted, which could impact another 2,000 workers or so. “The law is opening up space for [the unions] to negotiate, to be heard, and to be taken seriously,” said Miriam Saage-Maass, the legal director at ECCHR.

Looking Forward with the EU

...Last month [in March 2024], EU member states finally approved a due diligence directive after long delays, during which the original draft was watered down. As it moves to the next stage—a vote in the European Parliament—before taking effect, critics argue that the rules are now too diluted and cover too few companies to be truly effective. Still, the fact that the EU is acting at all has been described as an important moment, and unionists such as Mansoor and Khan wait thousands of miles away with bated breath for the final outcome.

Solidarity from Europe is important, Khan said, and could change the lives of Pakistan’s workers. “The eyes and the ears of the people are looking to [the brands],” Mansoor said. “And they are being made accountable for their mistakes.”"

-via The Fuller Project, April 2, 2024. Article headers added by me.

#pakistan #fashion #fashion industry #fast fashion #labor #labor unions #labor rights #unions #workers rights #capitalism #european union #germany #united states #new york #garment industry #garment manufacturing #supply chain #good news #hope

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deathbyathousandspiders · 3 days

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HELL–BOUND.

mcu!peter parker | zombie–apocalypse au.

IN WHICH you’re the last hope to saving the world from HYDRA’s destructive zombie outbreak.

chapter one.

✨masterlist.✨

1.9k.

“You were born for this.” The words were tattooed on your existence, handwritten on your destiny. “We made you for this.” And your fate was embroidered with such words, such purpose, even as your footsteps echoed on the ashes of humanity. The last remaining remnants that society existed were crushed beneath your leather boots, and broken along the cracking pavement.

It had been four weeks since the outbreak. Four weeks since you’d been kidnapped by HYDRA; since you’d been separated from the avengers, since the death of Steve Rogers and since the downfall of America. The rest of the world was slowly catching flame with the fire that HYDRA started, withering away at the mercy of people who were stupid enough to try and fly out to salvation.

But this virus wasn’t a disease, it was a creation. These infected people weren’t able to be cured, they needed to be stopped. And the only person who could stop it kept trekking on the pavement, white knuckles on a gun and a backpack.

The fate of the world rested in that backpack, in your brain, in your blood. And you didn’t even give yourself time to process. You'd been running for days.

Natasha’s words still rang through your head like some kind of broken record, a senseless beacon of hope you tried to make some sense of. She’d come to free you, to inform you of the state world currently laid in. “If we get separated, I’ll find you.” She’d used the gravest tone you’d ever heard her muster. “And if you get lost, meet me in Massachusetts.”

You never would’ve thought that she’d be the one to get lost. To sacrifice herself just to get you out, and you knew why. You also knew you’d find her. You had to, needed to, or she’d find you. You’d find each other. Somehow, someway, soon, you'd be reunited. It was only a matter of time.

But that was a week ago.

Thank God you made it out, yet you were anything but hopeful. You could tell this was only the beginning. The start of something gut—wrenchingly inhumane. You were nearly out of New York, trekking on foot to Massachusetts like she’d told you to. Driving would put you at too much risk right now, especially when trying to journey alone. This helped you to better navigate your surroundings.

Hearing the low glottaled groan of an infected, you craned your head in the direction. They were stuck beside a tree, webs restraining them to the trunk and their body deteriorating as the hours passed. The stench of their corpsing complexion alone was lethal. Still, you knew what you had to do.

Aiming your gun, you kept your distance. Loading, squinting an eye, and firing like HYDRA was right all along: you were born for this. You made a clean shot, putting the victim out of their misery and continuing to trek along the ruins of a road.

Until you heard a twig snap behind you.

Your instincts were too fast as you loaded and aimed your gun once again, turning on your heel behind you to find yourself staring at a familiar face. Your eyes widened, lowering your gun only a little.

“Peter Parker?” It was the first time you’d spoken in days. The words felt wrong on your tongue, and seeing him was something you weren’t sure what to make of.

He looked older, matured, aged. Aged by the things he had to endure when the world ended; matured by the things he had to do to protect people, to witness the losses he did. He was older, in experience, in life, and in the days he knew were numbered.

His hands were raised, but his eyes told you that he knew you wouldn’t shoot him. You were classmates, after all. Teammates, Avengers. Something more. You should’ve felt relief to have seen him, and part of you did. But the other part of you drove the actions that led you to put your gun in its holster at your hip and pace towards him. Peter stayed where he was as you slapped him across the face. Your blood boiled with rage.

And he just let it.

“This is your fault!” You spat at him, fighting the urges to punch him, to hug him, but even you knew that anger would get you nowhere; even you knew a huge part of you was undeniably grateful to see him alive. Unharmed.

His jaw clenched and he’d finally averted his eye contact. Peter knew you were right, even as outlandish as the accusation was. “Y/N, please..” His voice was softer than you remembered it being, perhaps because of how apologetic his tone was. It almost thawed your anger. It almost reminded you that perhaps things weren’t as grim as you’d begun to believe. You couldn’t let it, though.

Your fist raised to throw a punch. A roar far off in the distance ceased your actions. Your whole body froze, and Peter’s did, too. Cold blood and a trembling fist to your side, and you looked to Peter for a directive out of this.

He grabbed your hand without hesitation, leading you into the forest beside you. Not a word was said. You were silent, invisible to your surroundings. Cutting through overgrown greenery, and stepping over fallen branches and knee–high grass. Peter led you past trees and bushes, over rotting bodies and patches of dry dirt, until you got to a twenty foot gate randomly placed in the middle of it.

Like procedure, he placed his thumb on a touch screen and the gate opened, programmed to only open up a crack so he could squeeze through, and thus you behind him. The gate closed less than a second after you were through it, and just beyond it was a bolted door.

Peter dropped your hand, unlocking the door and helping you inside. This must have been where he’d been resigning since the last time you saw him. He, too, had been taken by HYDRA when you were. He, too, had been worked and experimented on, just the same as you. And he, too, wasn’t a stranger to the way the two of you led the world to its demise.

Did he know the part he played in all of this, though? Truly?

Silence reigned over the two of you as you calmed down, and Peter led you through the bunker he had been living in. There were walls of canned food, loads of weapons, working technology, and piles of papers. He’d been writing, documenting.

Perhaps, he’d been alone.

Peter was the first to break the silence. “Are you hungry?” He’d noticed you staring. “Cold? Want a change of clothes?” Even when the world had gone to shit, he still knew how to be a good host. Even when he knew you were upset with him, he knew how to make you feel comfortable. Seen.

It took you back to moments before everything happened. Before everything changed. It brought back memories of a world you now only knew in slumber, things almost too painful to think about in waking moments.

Taking a breath, you turned to face him. “Are you living here alone?” You ignored his questions. Typical. The query ached in your throat, you had to ask it. “Are there– umm.. Are there any of us left besides–”

“This is Natasha’s place.” He knew who you were trying to ask about. You watched the way he turned on a heater in the middle of the room. How his shoulders hung lower the deeper in thought he got, how many seconds were in between his answer and the realization that it might just be the three of you left. “I don’t know who’s left. Besides you and me, and Nat.”

And that’s when you realized the part she was playing in this; she had been protecting Peter, the same way that she’d been protecting you. The two of you were merely kids, after all. Clinging to the hope of getting back to a world where you could get college degrees, and they would mean something.

You walked further into the room, following the warmth as it poured into the space. “When was the last time you saw her?” The rage you’d felt towards Peter just moments prior had already begun to thaw, already losing sight on where the anger came from. You were more focused, more worried, about Nat right now.

He sat down on a chair in the space, tapping his finger on the arm of it and bouncing his leg as he pondered. “The last I saw her, she was on her way to get you.”

That realization made your heart stop. Your feet glued to the floor, and your whole body froze. It seemed like Peter’s body caught whatever sensation of panic flooded yours. He froze, too.

“Peter.. That was a week ago.” The words fell heavy from your lips, like the fate of the world was tied to them. And it was.

He stared back at you, not daring to break the eye contact. Whether it was to provide comfort, or to better read your expression. “I know.” Even he understood the weight of this. The weight of whether Natasha was still alive, safe. Or worse.

You looked at him, taking a breath. Realizing you were quick to your anger earlier, and realizing that maybe Peter didn’t know what role he played in this. Regret put you in a chokehold, the bitterness of death taking reign on the tension in the room. It stole any kind of wishful thinking you’d had, and made its dire presence known by sounding off in the ticking of a clock—hand.

Grabbing your backpack, you went for the folder you’d kept inside. You fumbled to grab the papers, handing them over to Peter. “We need to find her.”

A puzzled look danced across his face in the light. He wasn’t entirely sure what you were getting at, or what you handed him, which meant you were right. He had no idea what part he played in this. “We need to find her, and we need to get the fuck out of this continent.”

He looked through the papers, eyebrows pressing together as he processed the writings. “Y/N, what the fuck is this?”

“Did she tell you what our plan was?” You asked him, trying not to let your anxiety boil over. You needed to keep your composure. “Did she ever tell you what we need to do?”

“What the fuck.. What the fuck am I looking at?” He ignored your question.

You looked at Peter and took a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time to panic, you knew it wasn’t. “Peter, I know how to stop this outbreak.”

Instantly, he met your eyes from where he sat, his entire expression changing the tone it directed at you. Misunderstanding morphed to confusion, curiosity. Hope. “How?” He forced the words out, needing to know the answer.

“We need to find Natasha, and get to Wakanda.” You told him, hugging your knees closer to your chest. “When we get to Wakanda, they’ll know what to do.”

Peter wasn’t satisfied with that. “And then what? How does the world just go back to normal?” His questions were urgent, but not judgmental. He didn’t ask with a tone to attack you. In fact, the weight they gained told you he might’ve caught on to what you were about to say. “How do we cure these people?”

Anxiety ran a course through your system, gnawing at your insides and sending a chill down the length of your body. You stilled, minus the fidgeting of your fingers. Your breaths became trembled, and you procrastinated your answer. “We have to get me to Wakanda.. so that they can kill me.”

And the whole world went quiet.

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coconut530 · 2 days

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PROPOSAAAAALLLLLLL

#Nevermore #Nevermore Webtoon #Webtoon #OMG LIKE ONE OF THE ONLY EPS EVER #RIGHT FROM THE START MMMMM LESBIANS #“That I had to hurry. For the first time in a long time.” 😩😩😩😩 OMG #ANNABEL SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP YOUUUUU #“We’re both women!” HAPPY PRIDE MONTHHHHHHHHHHH #IT’S ALL JUST A GAME ANNA YOU’RE SO GOOD AT THEM #OHHHHH THAT TURNAROUND ANNA YOU’RE SO PRETTY #THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO MESSY AND I LOVE IT #THOSE EYESSSSS FLYNN IS AMAZING #I love how there’s the RnF trend of characters thinking others are bluffing #Shane and Lenore I’m looking at you #Shane especially my guy thinks no one is serious when they 100% are #WHAT IS THE TELL LENOREEEEE TELLLL MEEEEEE #GAH THEY’RE SO CUTE #LENORE YOU’RE SO GENDER OMG #WEAR THOSE PEARLS GIRL #OMG THE LIGHTING IN THE LAST SCENE IS SO AMAZING #PURPLE AND TEAL COMBINED MMMMMMMMMMMM I LOVE HOW FLYNN USES COLORS #THE GOTHIC VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS #CREEPY GHOST THINGS WHAT ARE THOSEEEEEE #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THAT IT HAS A WHOLE ARMY AND A SPECTRE CARD THE THEO PARALLELS DO BE EXISTING #DON’T LOOK AT ME CREEPY DEER THING #ALMOST AT THE END WHAT IS GONNA HAPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN #Sorry this is late typing things up takes a bit and I’ve been busy hahahahahhahahahhahh

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babeeangel · 3 days

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a polaroid love

For Christmas, Isagi got a polaroid, and you best believe all his 10 polas would be of you, his muse.

smut – 4k words🧍. Isagi x fem!reader

DO NOT READ IN PUBLIC unless you’re a brave soul wwww. Mentions of sex, slight chocking, p in v, cum.... yadayada. Characters obvi aged up.

inspired by someone here on tumblr ! Who's user i forgot so if you know pleassssse tell me !! Their fic was something along the lines of: where the bllk boys would keep their dirty polaroids. I feel so stupid for not finding it again... Anyway enjoy my first long fic ! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

ꕥ

For christmas, Isagi got a polaroid with 10 pictures to take. He did not ask for that, neither had he ever thought about getting one, let alone actually using it. But he figured, now that it’s here, might as well make a good use out of it.

His muse was obviously the one and only you. It wasn’t necessarily his intention, but his first and last pictures would be of you. At first he asked you when to take pictures, if you considered they would be worthwhile. Over time, he had his own sense of photographic art. The very first one was his idea though.

1rst pola: a picture of you two.

When he got it, he instantly said that the first picture he wanted was one of the two of you, to put in his phone case. Therefore the first picture ever printed was you two hugging in front of the christmas tree. You’re looking at the camera, smiling, his hand on your waist, your head nuzzled in his neck. You were wearing matching christmas sweaters if it matters, yours red, his green. He had asked Hiori, who gifted him the polaroid, to take the picture and choose the settings. And it turned out perfect ! Not over exposed, centered. Isagi was so happy with the results… As promised, he instantly put it in his clear phone case, hiding the dollar bill that was already there. It’s a happy memory you are glad has been immortalized.

2nd pola: you at a café

His second picture was at a café, not much after the first pola. He had almost forgotten the existence of his camera, until he saw it sitting on his shelf and thought your upcoming coffee date was a great time to take a pic. He quickly put it in his bag and carried on. When you were finally seated he asked you to pose and ! Flash and all, the picture was getting printed. It came out a bit too bright ‘cause he didn’t master the settings yet, but he was happy nonetheless. “Pretty for my first polaroid, isn't it?” “Your model did all the work”, you answered, kittenish.

3rd pola: you fixing your hair

For his third polaroid, Isagi had decided he wanted to have a candid moment, not a perfected pose. So when he saw you getting ready to go to run errands, he thought “this is the typa moments i want to capture, my lovely day-to-day”. He turned the polaroid on and sneakily took a picture of you fixing your hair in front of the mirror. The flash surprised you so much, you turned around and couldn’t help but to smile at his contented face. To be fair, the picture turned out great. The yellow bathroom light almost gave it a retro vibe. and the composition, for something that was taken so fast, was surprisingly good. Had it been digital, it definitely would have become your insta profile picture.

4rth pola: you at the beach

The fourth film was used at the sea. You and your boyfriend were on a beach vacation. That definitely was a good place for pictures, had he thought. In the suitcase it went. Isagi was definitely not the type of guy to “save things for the perfect moment, a moment that ultimately never came so you ended up never using said thing''. He was a firm believer in “use it as soon as you feel like it, or else it would end up unopened 5 years later when you are no longer interested in it”. So whenever he felt like taking a polaroid, he did it, not thinking about its price or anything else. Obviously, a vacation in a paradisaic landscape was the place he wanted to have physical memories of. As soon as you guys had arrived at the hotel, you put down your suitcases and stripped down to put your swimsuit on – a baby blue and white striped bikini – and ran to the sand. Isagi did the same, only taking his polaroid with him and a bit of cash cause he knew you would want ice cream. Just as he planned, you first ran up to the water, went in until your claves got wet, turned around, splashed him a bit, laughed at him and exited the water, until you saw the ice cream vendor with his cart, and looked at him with puppy eyes. You didn't even need to say a word, he was already holding your hand as you walked towards the man. You chose your always flavor, Isagi did the same. He had the routine memorized, so he knew the next step would be you tasting your ice cream and immediately asking to taste his before even finishing experiencing your own flavor. “Sure” he said as he brought his cone to your face. Just as it was close enough for you to lick (you were staring at him right in the eyes), he pushed it a little more, until it hit your nose leaving a bit of ice cream on it. You smiled really hard, til the corners of your mouth reached your ears. He stepped back, and clicked the perfect shot. Beautiful you in a beautiful outfit with a beautiful sea behind. And a cute moment. Maybe his favorite pola as of this far.

5th pola: you flashing him at the supermarket

When the time came for him to take his 5th polaroid, half his shots, you wanted to make things more interesting. Isagi had been so sweet to you these days, especially during these beach vacations. He told you he wanted a more casual souvenir, one in a random place. So the local mini supermarket seemed perfect ! He told you to stand next to the soda bottles for a colorful background. So you did. But you were feeling a little mischievous and also wanted to give your lover a special gift. You were all reddish from the sun, your freckles stood out and your hair was curly from the salt. You looked effortlessly innocent, maybe that was why Isagi loved you so hard perhaps. Since you were coming back from the beach, you still had your tote bag on your shoulder, your mini shorts on, and sand on your knees. Oh and you weren't wearing anything under your shirt. So after making sure you were right where Isagi wanted you in the frame, you hit a pose. “Are you ready ? One, Two, Three !” Right as he said three, you shook your peace signs away to grab the bottom of your shirt and lift it up, showing your beautiful boobs to the entire supermarket. Luckily, it was empty and no one saw it. Clueless, Isagi put down his camera and waited for the film to come out. Perhaps from the small window thing on his camera, he hadn't seen what you did. So he was there, blissfully unaware, looking at the white yet undeveloped polaroid. “Okay, we can get moving now ! As always, the picture’s gonna show up in a few minutes so let’s buy what we have to buy”. Isagi started walking in front of you. As you guys grabbed snacks, you could see him peeping at the picture. Getting chips, he peeped. Getting fruit, he peeped, longer this time. Getting chocolates, he peeped and looked confused, bringing the pola closer to his face. While grabbing chewing gum at the cashier, you could see him getting redder and redder, though he didn't say a word. He quickly put it in his pocket, and asked for the total, stuttering. You could feel he was avoiding your eyes. So to tease him even more, you got up to him and grabbed his arm. You could feel how hot his face was, it was so cute. When you passed the automatic exit doors, he looked at you: “Y/N ! Why did you do that !” He wanted to sound mad but you knew he was just flustered. “Why, are they ugly ?” “No – don't say that ! They are way too beautiful, that’s the problem. I’m gonna cherish this pola, it will be mine and only mine to see”. You laughed and laid your head on his shoulders as you walked. “Don’t play tricks like this on me again, y/n…”

6th pola: a facial

The sixth pola was taken the same day as the fifth. I guess all these emotions had him excited. When you guys went back to your hotel room at the end of the day, you put down your stuff and headed straight for the shower (you hated the feeling of sand in your hair and salt on your skin). As you started singing a tune under the shower head, you heard the bathroom open, but you paid no mind to it as Isagi often entered to take random items and exited as if he was never there. So you continued singing “yeogi pale blue dot, ooh hoo ohh…” When you heard the door close, you sang a little louder as you tried to wash away the shampoo from your hair. But you soon heard the shower curtain wrinkle and water droplets fall on the rug. You barely started to turn around to see what was happening when you felt Isagi’s hand on your waist. His touch felt a bit slippery as you still had remains of foam on you. “What are you doi–” you giggled but he stopped you from finishing your sentence, interrupting you with a kiss. From there on everything went literally steamy, as you guys locked yourself up in the bathroom for quite some time, stopping all the vapor from ventatiling. It did not stop at a kiss, and when you guys finally decided to exit the bathroom, it was only to continue in the bedroom. You had your high quite a few times, so did he. It ended when he came on your face for one last time. You looked at him with lustful eyes, shiny from tears, cheeks flushed pink. You were so beautiful. So much so he wanted to remember your beauty forever. Without letting go of your throat –that he had been holding as hard as you liked– he turned around and grabbed the polaroid that you guys had thrown on the hotel carpet since you were in such a hurry to free up the bed. Because one hand of his was busy, he had to pull on the lens with his teeth, to turn the camera on. As soon as it was ready, he chose the right setting and flashed your eyes almost blind. He did it so swiftly you barely had time to realize it, let alone change poses. You still had your innocent expression on, face dazzled with his milky cum. He took the picture that was coming out and laid it on the bed. He finally unclenched his hand on your throat and with his thumb, rubbed off some of the cum you had on your nose to spread it on your pouty lips. You licked it off and finally smiled, like you regained your spirits. “Did it turn out great ?” “How couldn't it ? You’re so photogenic”. Once the pola had fully gotten his colors, he looked at him before showing you. You were lying in the bed sheets when you took it from his hands. Beautiful. Your big eyes, the eerie white flash on the white hotel sheets, his veined hand, your breasts with pointy nipples and obviously, Isagi’s artistic streaks all over your face. “Are you putting this one in your phone case, Isagi ?” “Want me to ?”. You chuckled.

7th pola: your wet pussy

I think at that point you guys had hit the point of no return. Every pola he’d take from now on would not end up in a family photo album. The 7th was taken back home. The vacation had ended and neither of you had wanted to take a pola, maybe nothing was memorable enough to take a pic. So the 7th one happened in your house actually, after a match. Isagi had played against a random nugu team, but somehow had made very beautiful plays. Maybe it was because you, for once, made the effort to go see him. To be fair Isagi was having a really bad season and you kept on taunting him about it. It’s understandable that you didn’t particularly want to see him barely run on the field. But that day you went because you had nothing better to do, and you guys arranged an at-home date, so it was easier if you went home together. You didn't warn him you were coming, you just parked your car and sat in the VIP lounge, close enough to the field he’d notice you fast. Damn had he been good for once in a hot while. He was very lively, made beautiful feints, and memorable goals. He was so attractive when he played… The way his muscles tensed up, how he constantly wiped his sweaty face with his jersey, revealing his abs… Yeah you were no better than a fangirl. Actually you were the fangirl. But to top it off, really tie the knot, something that, unbeknownst to him, physically made you wet… He got mad at other players. Ah, so embarrassing for you but how down bad you were for him shouting at his teammates, borderline pushing the opponents, cussing himself when he missed… You could feel your pussy throbbing all throughout the match, getting more flustered as he began bad mouthing more and more the opponents cause he was winning. When people tried to talk to you, you stuttered, afraid at the idea they could read your mind. Oh the things you were imagining right now. When the match finished, Isagi went directly to you, and changed moods like nothing happened (he was never mean to you like that, to your discontent…). “You came to see me, angel ?” “Yes I figured I’d spare my boyfriend some of my precious time”. You went and kissed him, tasting the salty sweat on his face. You loved him like that, but again, it was a secret. Your kiss was unusually passionate for just a ‘hello’ kiss. Isagi stepped back and looked down at you, chuckling. “Thank you for coming. Let’s go home ?” “Yeah”, you answered as he took your hand and walked to your car.

You were driving when you talked about the match. “I think I went overboard with the rudeness today on the field”. “You think ? I think it was okay. Plus it made them tense, so I guess it worked.” “Tense ? Wait, you could hear them too up where you were ?” “... No, I just, I’m just guessing”. You could feel your cheeks getting redder. “Soooo you know how I am on the field ? Why’d you never mention it ? This is so embarrassing for me y/n…” Isagi closed his eyes while you were pretending to be focused on the road to avoid looking at him. “No it’s not actually. I find it… sexy”. Your cheeks were now hot. “Sexy ?! What do you mean ?! I’m plain spiteful !” “Yeah… that’s kinda what I like. I thank you for not being like this with me cause I’d be constantly horny”. Big blank. Isagi paused as you turned left into your driveway. His mind was working double (So she knew about it ? But she likes it ? Does she like being disrespected or is it just me ? What does she mean horny, if I push her she’ll kiss me ? If I insult her she’ll moan ? What the flip ?) ((Yes I'm convinced Isagi genuinely says that)). You turned the car off, took your keys and opened the door. “Forget about it, I’ve said too much and lost my dignity ‘till the end of our relationship”. You look at the floor sheepishly. “Are you fucking crazy ? You’re so weird y/n !” Isagi looked at you, angry as he caught up to you. You didn't react and went for the door, but Isagi blocked you, putting himself between you and the lock. “Answer”, he forced your chin up with his hand, making you look him in the eyes. Finally you could see the playful spark in his eyes. You smiled. “Yes I’m ‘fuckin crazy’. Cause this is enough for me to want to take my shirt off”. “Damn that’s… crazy. I adore crazy. So when you said wet, you meant… wet ?” “I’m pretty sure I left my seat back there drenched”. Isagi finally let you unlock the door and as soon as you closed it behind you, he picked you up from the floor, taking you straight to the bedroom. “Let me see”. He threw you rather carelessly on the mattress, making you laugh at how everything turned out. He unbuttoned your jeans and took them off for you while you kept laughing. As he threw them on the floor you heard him fulfilled: “it IS true ! You’re so wet only from me ?” You hide your face with your hands, still giggling “I ammm”. As Isagi looked up to see your face, a wide smile on his face, he saw his pola sitting on his shelf. “I am so proud – wait let me show you !” He removed his hand from your inner thighs and stood over you, hands on the bed, stretching trying to reach his camera. When he grabbed it, he looked down and looked at you in the eyes. Your faces were so close to each other. He snapped out of it and went back to business. He touched your wet pussy and tugged on one lip, revealing its pinkish color. Your panties were so stretchy, and so thin, even with fabric, all its topography was clear. And your wetness made the fabric stick even closer to your beautiful inner lips. Your panties were DRENCHED. You didn't lie when you said it made you feel things. Actually, had he looked, even your jeans were humid. He stroked your pussy quickly, and spread your legs slightly more with one hand, as he framed the shot, looking through the small camera preview. “Looks good”. He clicked and you heard the shutter go down. He took the picture and jumped back up to tower you. He looked deeply into your eyes “when you said you loved all of me, you did mean it” “i did, i do”. He kissed you passionately. The polaroid eventually showed its colors. A close up of your beautiful pussy, half of it revealed by Isagi’s fingers, and almost all your panties soaked. “You better not use this kink I have as a secret weapon during our fights from now on, babe”. What a use of a polaroid.

8th pola: your hands on his dick

The eight pola was the result of a game. Basically you guys went to an arcade and you had set a rule: you would count the winner of every mini activity you did, and the one with the most wins could have a wish realized, any wish. In the end, you ended up winning. And your wish was simple, you wanted a pola that you could keep for yourself. With the satisfied grin you had when you told him what your wish was, he directly understood this would not be a polaroid like the first one you took. You really hesitated for what exactly you wanted to capture, so you thought to yourself that you would see how the night would go and you’d choose the right moment. Isagi looked really really cute, cute enough for you to want to take the picture multiple times. Honorable mentions of when you really hesitated to take the pic: when he took his belt and jeans off, that’s a classic but always has its effect on you, when he towered you, shirtless, and finally when he was eating you out. But you settled on perhaps your second favorite thing ever of Isagi, after his sweet personality: his cock. When you were giving him a blowjob, it really kicked in that, yes, damn his dick was beautiful. So you had him come but forbid him from spitting his cum anywhere but his abs or right up in the air so it’d fall back on his tip (usually he loves cumming on your thighs). So bam, his penis is covered in his own cum, and your beautiful hands –with a fresh manicure mind you– are stroking his dick. “Isagi stay like this. This is how I want the pola”. He looked at you almost embarrassed, he wasn't used to you being the one giving orders, especially in this context. “Can you take it for me ? I love your artistic vision better than mine”. Okay that was already too much for him so now he felt straight up humiliated. “Uhm, sure…” “A bet is a bet, angel”. Now you were using HIS pet name for YOU, TURNED AGAINST HIM ? He was the one who called you angel usually… He pouted, cheeks started to flush from embarrassment and he reached for the polaroid. “Make sure to leave your balls, your abs and my hand on the frame, angel”. He did not answer, he just kept pouting and pressed the button. When he was done you wiped the cum on his dick with your hand, cleaning your hands on his abs. “Good boy” you purred. You kissed him and grabbed the picture. It turned out perfect. “This one’s gonna be in my phone case”.

9th pola: your naked body

The second to last, 9th polaroid was taken the same night. Had he been honest, Isagi would’ve admitted it was for revenge and to remind you who was in control. But he just said that “the camera was his after all, so he could take pics whenever he wanted”. As soon as you admitted being satisfied with your wish, Isagi pushed you lying on the mattress and pinned you down. “Let me show you a prettier sight”. He edged you for minutes on end, fingering your tight pussy. At the end, when he finally let you cum, you were left breathless and tired. That's when he grabbed his camera back, and took a picture of your naked body, bright flash on, leaving out your face. You could see everything in the picture, your boobs, your pretty hands, your shiny pussy from your own cum, your cute belly, and even your underwear that was still tossed next to you. “I’m the only one who knows it’s you because your face is left out, but I know every detail of you, even the heart shaped mole on your hips”. It was a cool pola to be fair.

10th pola: his dick in your pussy

The very last polaroid of the 10 item refill was thought through carefully. Isagi wanted something memorable and quintessential of his photographic journey. So he hesitated quite a long time between a genuinely innocent picture of the two of you, a selfie perhaps, or a nasty, dirty, filthy intimate scene. He was an advocate for the first one while you preferred the latter, that's why he decided to choose while playing rock paper scissors… Guess who won ?? Yours truthfully, obviously !! You shouted in joy and jumped around, hugging him from behind and teasing him. “I know what I want already, babe, something that is fair to the both of us”. You whispered in his ears: “let’s photograph a creampie”. He snickered. I’ll leave it up to your imagination how everything unraveled, but the last pola was very pretty indeed, showing equal parts of you and Isagi.

A/N: Y’ALL MY 1RST SMUT WAS IT GOOD OR NAH ? I fear it’s not even that smutty but idk, I find fics describing graphically everything boring, like I'm creative enough to imagine which dirty words my delusionalship would say to me… This was longer than anticipated, but I gotta say I'm quite proud ! Plus I wrote it in like 3 days, which is unusual for inconsistent me. I lovvveeee isagi sm, this felt illegal writing cause I was always in my family living room kkkkk. And I was also inspired by my current polaroid I dusted off from last time I used it in 2017 bahaha.

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queenpiranhadon · 2 days

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A/N: hsj2bde2iqrb only two chapters left hello??? FIRST and last BATTLE GUYS YAY! Tbh it was a little worrying writing this one so ty to @cashmoneyyysstuff and @ peachsukii for helping me out 😭 Here's the masterlist!

Warning(s): Warning(s): Cursing, reader is the daughter of Aizawa, Shinso and Eri are biological siblings, reader is 20 years old, reader befriends Kaminari and Sero, Reader uses "Cattus" as her alias, reader's nicknames are Cactus, Cattus and Cat, fight scene between you and unnamed fighters, really BAD depictions of a fight scene, reader's down bad LMAO, war, reader gets hurt, blood, reader wears a bra, bad war descriptions lol what do you expect from me, reader is AFAB and female, bakugou finds out 😀👍

Pairing(s): Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

It’s been six months since you left home for the army, training vigorously and diligently- refining your skills under Bakugou’s guidance.

He’s respected you a lot more since the tualia surprisingly but refuses to speak to you unless absolutely necessary- pretty much avoiding you entirely.

Your spar partner was Moss Bear, whose name you learned was Genken Rui.

He was married, and had a 7-year-old son at home, named Daki. Apparently Genken met your father through a similar camp when he was your age, except back then, he was training like you.

He told you stories about how reserved your father was until he met Genken, along with two others, men named Hizashi and Oboro.

You knew Hizashi- the eccentric blonde always seemed to ooze positive energy, and especially took joy in annoying your father like a sibling would- usually coming to steal an article or clothing, or even just to have a meal with the four of you.

Oboro, however, was a more delicate matter. Your father never talked about him, but one day when Hizashi had drunkenly stumbled to your home, he had told you everything. Oboro was a close friend of your father’s, and he had lost his life in the past war against the neighboring kingdom of Phomal, and according to Hizashi, your father blamed himself for his friend’s death.

You and Genken bonded a lot over those months, but you also bonded with Denki and Hanta too.

Ironically, they started calling you ‘Cat’, as a nickname for technically a nickname for another nickname- which to you was very confusing, but amusing, nonetheless.

You considered them your brothers, just like Shinso and Eri- though it hurt that they would never know the real you.

Would they still like you if they did?

You weren’t sure- but it didn’t matter- Y/N wouldn’t exist for a while.

Eventually, your troop finally receives a message from the crown, sending you to the Chira Forest- which was by the border of both Inimicus and Bellorant- where you planned to set an ambush.

Each soldier packed up their tents along with rations, quickly stowing them in the hay wagon you had used- but this time, travel was done on horse.

At least for Bakugou, Genken and Fern Bat.

The rest of the troop was forced to walk on foot, painstakingly through the cold, maintaining position and form.

Snow started to fall, landing on your eyelashes and more irritatingly in your eyes, which made it hard to see, but thankfully Bakugou had chosen to pick steeds with ebony coats, so you could still see them.

Shivering beside you was Hanta, Denki unfortunately was put in the back of the formation, separating the three of you.

“Ugh- why are we doing this anyway.” he groans, adjusting his armor straps.

“You know why Hanta- this battle will hopefully turn the tides in our favor if we can get control of the border through the forest. It’ll give us discreet access to the Inimicans which’ll help when we invade the capital.”

Hanta rolls his eyes playfully. “Okay Mr. Genius- looks like someone’s been paying attention to Captain Bakugou.”

You feel your face heat up and resist the urge to punch the ravenette in the arm but restrain yourself.

“You on the other hand, continue to mope about your nonexistent girlfriend back home.” you retort, cracking a smile.

Hanta huffs indignantly, and opens his mouth to disagree, only to hear Bakugou’s booming voice over the whipping wind and snow.

“WE’LL STOP HERE FOR TONIGHT! SET UP YER SHIT AND GET SOME DAMN SLEEP!” he roars, speaking louder to be heard over the snow.

You can’t help but snort at his vulgarity, knowing that behavior like this was unbefitting of a war captain, but his talent made up for it.

Setting up camp was easier than it was the first time you did, Hanta, Denki and you working in tandem, knowing exactly what to do without discussing it beforehand.

After eating a “hearty” meal of rations, you go to bed, but you can’t sleep.

Anxiousness twists in your stomach, knowing that you were about to fight. In a war. This was what the past 6 months of your life were leading up to- and you were going to put your skills to use.

Thinking about your father, and Oboro, you feel a pang in your heart. What if you lost Denki or Sero? Or even Bakugou? And what if you couldn’t save them?

There was no way you would be able to sleep now.

Slipping out of your tent, you make it down to a relatively secluded spot not far from camp. You sit down on the snow, ignoring the cold that stings your legs, leaning against a tall Hinoki tree.

Exhaling softly, you let your eyes travel, gazing at the stars.

You’re not sure how long you sat like that, allowing your aching feet to dwindle down into a light throb, with the company of nothing but the sky and everything in it, before you hear a voice.

“Oi. What’re ya doin’ out so late huh?”

You jump, recognizing the voice immediately, scrambling to your feet as quickly as possible.

“I-I uh sorry uh sir!” you stutter, embarrassed from being caught. “I promise I-”

Bakugou sighs loudly, cutting you off. “Don’t worry, m’not gonna chew ya out. Everyone’s gotta get out ta clear their minds sometimes. Sit down, I’ll letcha be.”

You sit but call out to him. “No, stay.”

He blinks in confusion, but obliges, his hulking form almost dwarfing you in a way that’s comical, sitting down next to you and joins you in your stargazing.

“Why are you ignoring me?” you blurt out, after sitting 5 minutes in silence.

Bakugou frowns, and you can feel any walls that you may have unearthed already closing up.

“Hah? The fuck do I gotta talk ta ya about?” he asks accusatorily, and just like that, you were beneath him again.

You feel frustration bubble up in you again. You did not throw away your life and spend six months of your life in a military camp to be treated as the dirt beneath your feet.

“With all due respect sir, I don’t deserve to be treated like I’m not worth more than some rookie who doesn’t know what he’s doing!” you snap. “You know better than anyone that I have been working hard and I happen to know what I’m doing!”

Bakugou’s scowl deepens, red eyes flashing violently “Ya haven’t been doin’ shit. Yer just another weak ass extra who needs ta know their fuckin’ place. We. Are. Not. Equals.” He grits out, keeping his voice low so as not to wake up the others, but the message is sent across the same.

“In case ya haven’t noticed, I’m the fuckin captain here. And for damn good reason.” He growls, staring down at you with those piercing vermillion eyes.

“Ya think yer so talented huh? Have ya had ta see someone die? Millions of people dying- endless bloodshed, have ya seen that?” he snaps, and you flinch.

You knew that joining the war wasn’t going to be easy. But just the thought of seeing so much death around you was enough to make bile rise to your throat.

“S’what I fuckin thought.” he scoffs, and turns around to leave. “Yer just as weak as the rest of em.”

You feel your heart snap in two at his words. All your hard work...for this? It didn’t help that the irrational part of you wanted to get closer to him- no thanks to whatever stupid crush you harbored for the abrasive blond.

You feel the tears slip down your cheeks, crying for the first time since you left your home. You had made friends, sure, but you didn’t want to be here right now. You wished everything could go back to the way it used to, witty banter with Hitoshi, gently teasing Eri, even times when your father ruffled your hair to annoy you.

You thought about what your family would say once you came back home. They would be disappointed that you left them, infuriated that you drugged them, and would probably never talk to you again. Your friends wouldn’t trust you, saying that they didn’t know if you were still you anymore.

But in all honesty, you weren’t.

You had changed over the past few months; the gentle soul you used to be was still there, but the fiery personality you kept behind lock and key was showing through more now.

And you didn’t hate it.

Furiously wiping at your tears, you storm back to your tent.

What did he know about what you deserved?! Your worth, your value, your talent – why did he get to determine how important you were?!

You knew this- and yet it still stung.

But why? Why did your heart feel so...broken?

It was because you cared.

You knew he wasn’t always this obnoxious and uncaring asshole, you saw how much he cared for your troop, even if he didn’t show it.

Yelling at you to eat your rations, pushing you as hard as you could

, but still making sure you took breaks on occasion – he wasn’t all that bad.

The only person he neglected to show that side of him to was you.

And it irritated you to no end.

Slipping back inside your tent, you fall asleep, awaiting the rest of your journey that was to come.

***

It took about a week to get to the border.

Your feet were significantly sore- you're pretty sure you’d be suffering permanent damage from days of constant walking in freezing temperatures, but as Genken said “Mother Earth doesn’t have favorites.” You knew that this upcoming ambush would be a turning point in the war- and your troop needed to execute it, no matter the weather.

Setting up camp just outside the woods, Captain Bakugou allows the troop for rest for a bit, before you began your trek into enemy territory.

Once you were rested, Bakugou commanded you into formation, and into the Chira Forest you went.

Thump.

The pounding of your heart was almost deafening, every tiny noise you heard set alarms off in your mind.

Subconciously, you feel your thumb and index rub against each other – retreat. Some feeling in your gut told you that something was going to go wrong. You weren’t sure why, growing up in Bellorant always gave you a sense of confidence living in the Kingdom of Victory. But at that moment, something just felt...off.

You were split up, each soldier spread out amongst the trees, but still close enough to be in earshot in case something went wrong.

Whoosh.

A blur whips past you in your periphery, and you stop, alert. What was that?

Shit.

They had found you.

Drawing your sword, you race after the blur you saw, yelling out to your fellow soldier to alert them of the ambush failure.

You find the man you were chasing soon enough, though he was dressed in black he sported the Inimican emblem over his heart. Your training kicks in, thrusting and parrying like your life depended on it.

Your eyes latched on to an opening and your body reciprocated - his left leg unguarded and you slash at it and watch as he falls, hitting his head against a sharp rock wedged in the ground.

Blood splatters everywhere, and you stare in shock, sick to your stomach.

You just killed a man.

He might’ve had a family to take care of, just like you.

But you can’t dwell on that, especially now.

You hear a yell in your earshot, sprinting and weaving through the thick foliage to find Hanta fending off three Inimican soldiers at once.

You draw your sword- still coated with the blood of the previous man, and together you and Hanta take down the three soldier.

“Fuck thanks Cat. Bastards would’ve skewered me if you didn’t step in. They don’t exactly train for you for this sorta stuff.” he chuckles nervously.

You wince at the thought. “Don’t talk like that Hanta, we need to-”

You see another blur pass by in your periphery, off to go hunt them down until you realized who they were going after.

Bakugou.

Your body acted without you realizing, running until the blonde man came into view, pushing him out of the way. Images flash before your eyes- Bakugou's limp body on the floor, red blood comingling with the green grass below your feet. You think about what Genken said about your father and Oboro. Your captain wasn’t going to die on your watch.

Thump.

“Watch out!” you cry, shoving Bakugou out of the way, only for the assailant’s sword to slash through your side.

Fuck.

Pain erupts through your side, and you cry out in pain, only for the enemy to slam you into the ground, the force combined with the blood loss forcing you to lose consciousness.

At least you didn’t have to watch anyone die, right?

In your final moments, you thought about your family, in a world where they waved at you as you left home to embark on the journey that brought you to where you were now.

Though the energy saps out of your body, your mind is roaring, and one thought is heard above the rest.

Are you proud of me, dad?

***

You feel...warm?

Is this what death feels like?

Stretching out your limbs, you feel cold pricking your legs.

‘Nope, not death’. You grumble mentally, retracting your legs into the comfort of your blankets.

You had a pounding headache, and your body hurt like hell. Finally opening your eyes, you find yourself in a tent, by yourself.

You were still in your armor, hard metal poking you in your sides, the bandages you had on previously made it hard to breathe, and so peeling of the bloodied clothes that belonged to your brother, and start to unwind your bandages, sighing in relief once more oxygen filled your lungs.

Thankfully, your bra was mostly intact, so you left it on. Allowing yourself to sink into the comfort of the blankets again, your fuzzy mind tries to remember what led you to where you were now.

You almost died.

Your eyes widen at the revelation, gingerly fingering the bloody gash that now adorned your abdomen, hissing in pain as sticky red liquid coats your fingertips.

Suddenly, the entrance to your tent is opened, to reveal a familiar red eyed blonde.

“Hey, I-” he starts, voice unnaturally soft, only for his voice to cut off completely as he stares at you in shock.

You stare back at him frozen, realizing that he just saw you sitting there in your bra- firstly embarrassed that anyone had seen you in that state, but with the dawning revelation that rocked you to the core like ice.

He found out.

Taglist: @andysdrafts @starieq @nemisimp @missa-archdevilme @coquettefoxxy

@032loe @icedemon1314 @fta1ask4 @iam-thevillain-of-thisstory @cuppalevi

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@yannvi @liluvtojineteyam @ah-mya @surprisemodafakas

@kksmush @sagejin @cax-per @kit-katsukii

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kaelidascope · 2 days

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Fandom and LGBTQ Hostility and My Experiences Trying to Exist in Both Spaces Online

I came into these spaces with a very strict rule that I would not react or do anything cancel-worthy out of an overabundance of caution. Digital footprints are dangerous. The things you say online will follow you around forever. I know that first hand. I’ve bottled up and stayed silent about a lot of things I’ve either witnessed first-hand or experienced because I was trying to maintain a clean online persona. I’m not an ‘airing out dirty laundry’ type person.

In light of recent events however, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer sit here and not say something about how I feel. I’m disappointed and frustrated with the experiences I’ve had both in fandom and LGBTQ+ spaces and I can’t be complacent. I’m tired of getting treated like this, I’m fed up and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I feel it’s important I voice what I’ve been watching and what’s happened and how I’m not going to tolerate it anymore by calling it out first hand.

This is a two-topic rant. They overlap in some instances, but it directly has to do with how fandoms behave in general towards each other on Twitter and Tumblr, and also how absolutely hostile LGBTQ+ individuals are nowadays to each other on the same platforms.

I come from a different generation and a different social media platform. I wasn’t on Twitter and Tumblr until last year. I’m not dismissing the fact that I may have missed out on decades worth of culture and social expectation. The places where I come from aren’t exactly fantastic either, but at least here, more queer people are interacting with each other with shared interests much more widely than in places like DeviantArt. The amount of culture and information I’ve absorbed in one year is more than I ever had within the past twenty years. It should be a good thing, and I’m disappointed that it wasn’t.

This is not the way I wanted to come out online to anyone. I’ve been figuring out where I sit on the gender and sexuality spectrum for a while now. I will not document a specific timeline for anyone because that’s nobody’s business but my own. Within the last year, I took a massive stride forward in exploring things I legally didn’t think I was allowed to. I expected backlash from cishets and the usual thing I see LGBTQ+ folks write essays over, about how the world hates us, but at least we have each other. Shockingly, the backlash didn’t come from straight people. It came from other queers.

I am 27 years old and I am entirely self-sufficient. I’m mixed Puerto Rican living in a red state. English wasn’t even my first language. I don’t have a network, so I’m teaching myself these things. I'm asking questions. I'm reading materials and expressions of self-experience and self-identity through fanworks and other autobiographical content. I'm actively trying to seek community and support through transgender and non-binary individuals with shared interests and so far all I've been met with is hostility and assumptions. So much so that I've now been made to feel like I'm on a timeline to figure it out so I can have a well-practiced, short introduction to copy and paste to every person who comes across me. And the only reason I even need one is so that they can make the decision to pass judgement over whether or not I'm allowed to speak, write, draw, wear, act, breathe the things I do. I'm disappointed. I'm anxious. I honestly feel more shoved into the closet now than I ever did before and I shouldn't be. Nobody should be treated this way when trying to figure out who they are. I probably won't even get an apology for the things that were said to me, either. I pride myself on the extraordinary caution I take to be politically correct, vetted through reputable sources, and as close to authentic as possible. And yet somehow I’m still getting called things like terf, transmisogynistic, triggering, when I’m fucking trans myself and all of my content gets vetted/REQUESTED by trans individuals. I get promised up and down that people are kind and welcoming in these sorts of spaces and honey, they aren’t. The people you choose to be friends with aren't as inclusive and friendly as you think they are. You don’t even know me and what body parts I have. The fact that you need to know in order to decide whether or not to treat me with respect is telling of an internal issue that has nothing to do with me.

I have no reference point. I live in a place where laws ban anything gender and trans. I have no local resources or community. I've barely met any LGBTQ people in person. If I have, they never came out publicly. Most of my queer exposure has been online, and the fact that I've seen nothing but angry, mean, exclusive and discriminating behavior without any sort of reasoning why other than selfish defensiveness, I don't know where else I'm supposed to go for support. Something a lot of you guys need to take into retrospect is anyone who identifies as LGBTQ gets shot where I live. We have sundown towns here. If you don’t even know what that is, good, but also that’s telling of your privilege that you need to consider when talking to others not from blue states. I didn’t grow up in an environment where we had these highly liberal culture points and the word ‘gay’ was never allowed to be said out loud. We did not have gay clubs in school. I'm about as fucking late to this as you possibly can get. The only reason I know anything about our history, representation, and barely anything about what's socially acceptable and what's not, is because of the internet. So many of you had the privilege of being exposed to this information as young as under the age of 10. I didn’t. Sue me for not immediately knowing what every gender label means right off the bat. Half that stuff isn’t even legal here.

I can't believe it's boiled down to the fact that I have to somehow justify my existence on this Earth and give an explanation that fits into predetermined boxes just to do anything to engage with other people. I have no time or space to figure it out. I’m disorganized and overwhelmed because I can’t ask questions about ‘can butches do this?’ ‘How versatile is transmasc/transfem?’ ‘Am I more genderqueer or do I fit under the trans umbrella?’ Gender and identity is fluid and ever changing. I have actually seen people harp and attack individuals for "defaulting" or "detransitioning" when they change their mind after giving this big coming out speech. It’s like support on these platforms is entirely conditional and a one-time thing. Y'all really expect people to wear the first style of shirt they buy for the rest of their life? Are we not allowed to do anything unless we know for sure? How’s college working out for you, for those who believe this mindset?

The vocally aggressive ones who use big words that contradict their statements can do, say, and be whatever they want. But people like me can't. The ones who have to straight pass in public to keep their jobs and maintain their life safely. Some of us have been on our own since 19 with no family support. Consider the environment someone lives in before assigning your harsh assumptions. I can’t just change myself on a whim without doing significant damage control. Half the jobs I work for don’t even allow unnatural hair colors. If we list our pronouns as anything other than our assigned sex at birth, it causes legality issues with taxes. The way I have to navigate how to explore my identity and also keep a roof over my head and my bills paid may seem highly conservative to most. It’s in no way shape or form meant to reflect disrespect on how others live and express themselves. I am doing the best with the environment I have. The way I do things is not meant to be read as a message of ‘you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way I do.’ None of us are wrong. That should not be the subliminal message here.

You know someone actually challenged me on that? Saying I was being harmful for purposefully straight presenting in public? Please research your country and state specific laws before you say that to me. If I could afford to live somewhere safer and queer-friendly, this conversation would be different. I am working on getting the fuck out of this state. But I don’t have a partner or parents money to default on. I’m doing this by myself. It’s not impossible, just a slow process.

I'm disappointed and fed up. I've reached my limit, and I don't really care anymore if someone uses this essay to try and cancel me 5 or 10 years from now when the world goes through another gender renaissance of terms and identities. I will not put up with being treated like this when you refuse to listen to anyone else other than the sound of your own voice. I’m trying my best to learn, adapt, and express myself. I do not need to be lectured or be called derogatory things just because you think I’m coming from a malicious place.

It’s not just about the hostility and gate-keeping behavior exhibited in online queer spaces. The same exact thing happens in fandom spaces too. People get pissy about queer headcanons and presentations so much to the point of taking it upon themselves to police the fandom and scrub it clean of “impurities.” I’ve watched y’all go through people's social media pages for any type of ammunition for justification of a personal grievance. It shocks me how much hyperfixation gets put on specific and morally harmless things when there are people out there writing diabolical shit way worse than what I have to offer. And y’all happily support them too but bark at me about what I make cus that author fits your social criteria and you assumed I didn’t. Don't think I'm ignorant to every single scrap of hate mail and harassment I've gotten over the past year and a half in my inboxes. Including the passive aggressive posts about my work, vague tweets, and discussions about me in discord servers. Over what? Have you actually read my work? If it’s actually as problematic as you say it is, provide me with a modern and unbiased example why this particular scene and execution is harmful. And not because you got triggered or disliked the kink, or read the summary/tags and assumed it was something it’s not. I don’t know how much more caution tape, massive warnings, obvious clear-cut tags (that were provided to me by queer individuals to PUT on there in the first place) out of insane amounts of caution I can do. I have always been willing to provide spoilers and explicit details in case someone is unsure how they’ll be affected by something I make. If you already don’t like it based on my warnings, that’s always been more than okay! My work is not for everyone. I’m getting tired of politely and respectfully saying please move on, because the message seems to be getting lost in translation. So let me be clear;

Get off my pages if you don’t like what I make. It’s not for you. It will never be for you. Dead dove. DO NOT EAT. PREFERRED DEMOGRAPHIC 25+ ADULT CONTENT RATED E FOR EXPLICIT. I can recommend so many other fantastic creators with better suited content for you! If I could hide my content behind a roped off section deliberately keeping you from seeing it, I would. BLOCK ME.

If your response to this section is ‘well then just don’t write it’. Honey, there’s people out here in the RWBY fandom writing trans incest actively commenting on all your shit and you respond back. A magic grimm-goo strap and monster smut featuring a transfem character (again, requested by literally 3 trans people and WRITTEN by one) should be the least of your worries.

I have actively chosen not to address the harassment and hate mail, because it's sad that half of you hate me so much you need to make a point of telling me so regularly. I sincerely hope moving on with your lives will grant you peace of mind. Truly.

This is why I barely interact with anyone. Nothing but hostility, harassment, and expectation to behave in ways I cannot emotionally commit to. I am exhausted, uninspired, and have such a bad taste in my mouth it's proving extremely difficult to want to do anything creative. It’s been worse with my recent exploration of my gender identity. Opening one door to write about certain things somehow, miraculously, closes ones I previously existed in. I’m practically getting kicked out if I’m not 100% one way or another. I don’t go out of my way to shove my content down your throats. Why you feel the need to come to me and tell me you dislike my existence because you read it, despite me stating this is not for everyone and probably not for you, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Idk what else I can do. Disappear off the face of the planet, I guess. That seems to be what the overall solution is when y’all find something you don’t like. I can't believe I witnessed grown adults in their mid twenties with self-proclaimed senses of rightness start a trend on Twitter to go through people's mutuals and their likes to see if they’re socially acceptable in Fandom spaces or not. That was fucking ridiculous. And especially not fair to those who had their private accounts leaked and put on blast when it was already behind an vetted follower wall. Believe it or not, people draw weird, lewd, diabolical shit. They’re actually being responsible by putting it behind a paywall, or some type of ‘proof of age before following’ requirement. It falls on the people who go on there, take screenshots, and post them publicly for minors and non-consenting individuals to see without filters what was previously hidden. It’s irresponsible and immature.

For fear of getting canceled by the Fandom, I moved all 600+ accounts I was following onto a private alt. I don't interact with my main anymore. I went so far into hiding and didn’t dare share anything about liking content made by people I wasn’t allowed to like, because that’s how cruel it is out here. It's honestly stupid I even felt like I had to do that. For what? People glazed over the brief moment of drama within a few weeks and went right back to posting the same shit they always have. They find new things to gossip about on their privs. New enemies to cancel on Twitter. New things to deem problematic and attack.

I will be heard with this letter. I don’t care to be associated with anyone who treats people like this. I don’t believe in it, I won’t support it, and I’d rather have a small circle of people who won’t be rude or attack other people for existing. I’m not going to sit here and take the abuse any longer. Leave me in peace. There is no reason any of this should be happening.

This is not meant to undermine the support I have gotten from the few who know what I'm going through and have given me the space to figure it out. I appreciate every question answered and insight provided as much as your abilities allow. I'm so grateful for it. I just wish it wasn't 2 people while everyone else is an asshole.

#Happy pride to me I guess!#LGBTQ+#RWBY #consider this my hiatus notice #do better #breaking my silence

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doomhands-jr · 3 days

Text

The Devil's Advocate - Chapter 4

Noah Sebastian X Reader

Noah is a delinquent with a lot of anger at the church. You're a pastor's daughter plagued by moral perfectionism, charged with overseeing the community service he's been sentenced to complete. You've never encountered true temptation before. How will you fare up against Noah, who not only isn't bound by the same rules of purity as you, but actively scoffs at them?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI Warnings: Blow job, drug use, swearing, angst, noah getting humbled

Masterlist

________

“Fuck,” Noah whispered. “Just like that.”

Noah couldn’t remember who was sucking his dick. He could barely remember how he got upstairs. He thought her name might begin with an S? Maybe? But her mouth was so warm and inviting. And wet. And when she hummed, it vibrated.

His head lolled to the side. Had the couch always been this soft?

She pulled off him with a “pop” and stroked his shaft a few times.

“Mmmm,” he hummed, letting out a soft giggle and allowing his lids to close.

He’d have to ask Jolly what that pill was. He wanted to feel like this all the time.

“You like that?” the girl asked. What the fuck was her name? Sarah? No… Savannah? Something like that. She looked up at him and he didn’t think he’d ever seen a face more vibrant or beautiful than hers.

Except for maybe yours. But he didn’t want to think about that, because it was bringing down his vibe, and he had someone right in front of him who was so, so beautiful, and whose mouth was the warmest mouth he’d ever felt in his life.

“Yeah,” he said, marveling at the tingling sensation in his fingertips as he rubbed them together, paying special attention to the calluses on his fingers. She squeezed his dick again and his focus was brought back to her. “Do it again please?”

She enveloped the head of his dick in her mouth once more. He didn’t think she could get a tighter seal around him. His eyes rolled back. Noah was certain if she kept up at this rate, she’d rid him of whatever negative energy dwelled in his body, and he’d walk away an enlightened man.

“You’re so fuckin’ warm,” he muttered, noticing for the first time that his own voice carried many layers to it. He hummed out a note, feeling his vocal folds vibrate with such a pleasant intensity that he forgot all about the woman whose mouth he was currently in and began practicing his vocal warmups. He could hear his voice getting better in real time.

“They’re right,” he giggled between warmups.. “I should do my vocal exercises more. These are great.”

The woman said something that Noah didn’t catch, but his awareness was once again brought to his dick, and this time, his focus was locked in. All the sudden, he was on a sensation train that was approaching its crescendo. When it did, Noah’s body blasted into a liminal space, where he was met with a wave of warm, glowing light.

Was he crying? He thought he might have been crying, but he didn’t know what about. Surely it was nothing sad, because no sadness could exist here. He was wrapped in pure love and light.

“It’s like heaven,” he slurred.

And then his body slipped away and he was nothing more than divine consciousness, floating in the ether.

_____________

“Noah!”

Someone was shooting off fireworks in the hallway.

No, that wouldn’t make sense.

Someone was knocking on the door. His eyelids were too heavy for him to lift.

“Noah, wake up, man.”

He vaguely registered the sound of the door opening. “Aw, gross! Get your pasty ass off Jolly’s couch.”

Noah groaned, feeling for the waistband of his boxers, realizing they were still pulled down around his ankles.

“What happened?” he rasped out. His throat was beyond dry. His head pounded with every pulse.

“You tell me. Last thing I remember is you disappearing with that Tiffany chick.”

Noah’s eyes flew open. “Tiffany?” He scrubbed a palm over his face. That girl had been after him for months. Showed up to every party and clung to him like a barnacle on the side of a boat. Always interjected herself into conversations and has cockblocked him on more than one occasion. Despite actively ignoring her when she’s around, she never took the hint to leave him alone.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Why did you let me go upstairs with her?” he asked, finally looking up to see Ruffilo standing above him with his hands on his hips, looking very much like a disappointed mother.

“It’s not my job to babysit you, dude. Plus, you insisted it was fine.”

Noah rolled over and clenched his throat to stop himself from hurling.

“How much did I drink?” he rasped out.

“I don’t know. But whatever you took clearly didn’t mix well with it.”

“No shit,” he said, rolling off the couch. His knees smacked against the hardwood floor, the impact ricocheting up to his head, forcing him into a wince.

“Can you please put some pants on?” his friend said, rolling his eyes as he turned his back toward Noah.

With great effort, Noah hoisted himself off the floor and into a semi-standing position so he could pull his boxers and jeans back up.

“My eyes are killing me,” he croaked.

“Yeah, no shit dude. You still have those weird-ass things in.”

Noah stumbled across the hall to the bathroom, the acrid feeling of bile crawled its way up his chest, intensifying the closer he got. He threw the toilet lid and seat back, knees hitting tile as he curled over the lip of the bowl to vomit the remainder of last night’s drinks.

His head pounded, every heave forcing blood up into his face, the vessels in his eyes straining under the pressure.

“Help me get these out,” he sputtered between heaving breaths, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. He rolled over to lean his back against the vanity unit, hands falling into his lap as he worked to catch his breath.

“Let me see,” Ruffilo sighed cupping his chin with one hand to tilt it back into the light. He took care to wash his hands before he made any attempt to touch the massive black contacts that spanned the entirety of his friend’s eyes.

“Ow, fuck!” Noah shouted, causing his head to ache with his own volume. “Don’t use your nail, asshole!”

“Sorry dude,” his friend said, not an ounce of sympathy in his tone. “This shit’s hard to do. Hold still.”

With careful precision, Nick maneuvered the large disc around until he found purchase on it. Pinching it between his thumb and forefinger, he gently peeled it out to reveal Noah’s bloodshot eyes.. After doing the same with the second, he tossed both in the trash, then stood to wash his hands once more. “Damn,” said Noah. “I liked those. I wanted to use them for more shows.”

“We’ll get you new ones,” said Nick. He grabbed an empty Solo cup on the sink counter, rinsing it out before filling it with cool tap water. He handed it to Noah before lowering himself to the ground, sighing as he leaned against the opposite wall. “Sip slowly, or you’ll throw up again.” Gingerly, Noah raised the cup to his lips.

Ruffilo was not easily affected by the actions of others. In fact, he had a calming disposition that set many at ease. But at that moment, Noah could feel his friend’s gaze burning a hole into him. He stared at the rim of his cup, the acrid feeling returning as he did everything to avoid looking at Nick.

“You okay, man?” The pity in his friend’s tone sat like a brick in Noah’s gut.“I’ve never seen you get that fucked up before. What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You can’t be doing that shit,” Nick said, crossing his arms over his chest and clicking his tongue against his teeth.. “Do you even know what you took?”

Noah paused for a moment. Scenes from the previous night flashed through his memory: the red lump on your cheekbone, the slight gasp that left your lungs when he parted your legs, the absence of your warmth after you left.

“No,” Noah rasped out, leaning his head back against the counter and closing his eyes.

“That’s not like you, man.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Come on,” he sighed, grabbing Noah under the arm to lift him off the floor. “Let’s get you home and in bed.”

“Thanks,” said Noah. He brought his hand up to comb his fingers through his hair and found the demon horns still on his head. A bitter taste coated his tongue and he ripped them off, chucking them in the trash.

It took a monumental effort for Noah to stagger the six blocks to his house. The sun was far too bright and the traffic was much too loud. Even with Ruffilo helping him, he struggled to keep his balance and had to pause halfway through to vomit into a set of bushes lining the street.

He didn't know when he fell asleep. One moment, he was collapsing onto his bed, and the next, he woke to the sound of something hitting his nightstand. On a tray sat a mug of coffee, scrambled eggs and toast, with two painkillers on a napkin. Ruffilo was already on his way out the door when Noah spoke.

“Thanks man,” He managed to mutter. “I owe you one.”

“This is done on the condition that we talk about it when you’re ready.”

Noah sighed, jaw clenching. “I know. Just not today.”

________

Halfway through Noah’s day-long hangover nap, he was woken up by another knocking. This time, when he opened his eyes, he found none other than the drummer of his band looking like the cat that caught the canary.

Nick sidled past him, inviting himself into Noah’s room, tossing a wad of cash down onto Noah’s bed before turning to face him.

“Here you go, killer. You earned it.”

“What are you talking about?” Noah muttered, consciousness slowly growing clearer as he struggled to wake up. His head felt like it was in a vise.

“I saw you and the virgin Mary go into your studio last night. When she came back out, she looked absolutely wrecked,” he said, snickering to himself. He shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t know how you did it, but damn. I never thought that chick would put out. Her friend was a pretty good consolation prize though, I have to say.”

Noah grabbed the wad of cash and threw it violently back at his friend.

“Whoa,” Nick said, head pulling back defensively. “What was that for?”

“Man, fuck off. I told you I wasn’t part of that.”

“You still won,” said Nick with a shrug. “I’m a man of my word. Should have tried a little harder with her last night, but her friend was practically beggin’ for it the whole time.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Noah was aware that he should exit this conversation. But in the moment, his stomach rolled with a heavy mixture of shame and anger that he couldn’t digest, so he spat it at Nick.

“You’re a fucking bottom feeder, man.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Nick bit back, unflinching as if he’d been waiting. “Don’t sit there on your high fuckin’ horse, acting like you’re better than everyone when you did the same thing to Tiffany, knowing how down bad she is for you. Grow a spine and reject the girl so she can move on.”

Noah squeezed his eyes together and rubbed his temples.

He knew he’d run out of defenses, and hated that Nick was right, but his brain had only just started thawing out from the onslaught of chemicals he’d fed it, and the last thing he needed was a lecture.

“Man, just get out. I’m not in the mood, okay?”

“Clearly, since you’re fucking being a little bitch today.” His eyebrows and jaw were hard set, but when Noah finally locked on to his stare, Nick must have seen the defeat in his eyes, because he began to soften.

“Get some sleep, man. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Thanks.”

__________________

Normally, Noah didn’t mind his job at the factory too much. It was repetitive, which was boring, but also regulating. It allowed him to move on autopilot while he wrote music in his head.

Today though, as the remnants of his headache clung to his periphery - he was Sisyphus, and the lathe was his boulder.

Worse though, whatever he had taken at the party had dumped all the serotonin and dopamine from his system, and there was nothing left to get him through the day.

“This,” he muttered to himself, barely audible over the whirring of the machines surrounding him, “this is why I don’t do drugs.”

He’d known this would happen even before he took them, but at the time he didn’t care. He was focused on escaping from the reality of his situation. It worked for the night, until that reality came back with a vengeance.

His confidence was shaken. He’d been so sure that you wanted him in that moment. He’d have bet all the cash Nick had tried to throw at him that you wanted him. But when you were an inch away, just barely in his grasp, you shot him down and left. And here he was, tearing his hair out because he could not, for the life of him, figure out why.

Maybe you just couldn't accept his feelings about religion. Your beliefs were so important to you, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was something you just couldn’t get past. Like you’d mentioned earlier that night, the whole evening was out of your comfort zone, you were overwhelmed by it all. Perhaps you just weren’t ready.

But maybe he was overthinking everything. Maybe inviting you into his world was a bad decision.

No God. No religion.

Just bad, bad decisions.

He scrawled the words into the margins of the notebook used to write down measurements for whatever the fuck parts he had to check for inaccuracies. For the rest of the day, the words ran through his head over and over again like a mantra, following the rhythmic clunk of the factory machines. He fished the silver ring out of his pocket and fidgeted with it for the hundredth time since you left the studio. It barely fit past the first knuckle on his pinky finger, but every time he touched it, it felt a little easier to breathe.

______________

“So, I feel like I owe you an apology,” he said, taking a sip from his coffee. “Several apologies, actually.”

“Okay,” Tiffany said, sitting across from him at the small bistro table in the corner of the local coffee shop Noah frequented.

His stomach clenched. He’d been nervous for the last few days leading up to this conversation, but it was time for him to stop being a coward and settle the matter.

Tiffany was not an unattractive woman. She had long blonde hair that she wore in loose waves. She was on the thicker side, which Noah liked. He could see himself being attracted to her if their personalities meshed.

Tiffany’s fatal flaw was that she tried too hard. Noah preferred to do the chasing. And he probably wouldn’t have ended up chasing after her regardless, and so he understood that she felt the need to chase after him if she liked him, but he had no inkling of feelings for her.

“First, I wanted to apologize for last Saturday. I wasn’t in the best state of mind, and I shouldn’t have invited you upstairs.”

“Yeah,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her. “That became clear when you started doing vocal warmups mid-blowjob.”

Noah snorted into his coffee. He forgot about that.

“I’m sorry,” he said, unable to bite back his grin.

Her tough façade cracked into a smile. “No worries. In hindsight, it’s pretty funny.”

“Okay, so question then,” He shifted in his seat, leaning forward to place his elbows on the table. “If you knew I wasn’t sober, why did you continue?”

“I didn’t,” she said. “As soon as I realized you weren’t right, I stopped.”

Noah looked at her, taken aback. “You left?”

She nodded.

“You mean I didn’t…I could have swore…,” he trailed off.

“Don’t get me wrong. I was excited about the idea of hooking up with you, but not like that.”

Noah looked at Tiffany with a newfound respect. Perhaps he had misjudged her.

“Secondly,” he continued, “I wanted to apologize for never making my intentions clear. I feel like I led you on and allowed you to have hope because I was afraid of confrontation. That wasn’t cool of me. I should have told you from the beginning that I wasn’t interested.”

“Ouch,” she said, wincing slightly, “but thanks.”

He shook his head. “Why are you thanking me?”

“I don’t know,” she said, drumming her fingers on the table.. “You probably don’t deserve it, but honestly I’d rather you be straightforward with me so I can actually move on. It takes a lot of energy to walk away from something you want if you still think there might be a little hope. I probably would have wasted a lot of time.”

His stomach began to feel the weight of his actions. Tiffany’s only crime was not deciphering the vague signals he’d given her, and yet he’d treated her like a pariah, going so far as to badmouth her to his bandmates. And for what? Because she refused to give up hope until she received a solid answer?

He’d been an even bigger asshole than he’d realized.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

Tiffany looked at Noah with a face that hinted at pity. Perhaps she saw the inner battle he was having with himself.

“Why did you take me upstairs?” she asked.

Noah felt like he owed her the truth. He didn’t have romantic feelings for Tiffany, but he did like her. And there was something about her that made him want to trust her. Perhaps it was how she’d prioritized his consent, despite her feelings for him. Or maybe the way she’d responded to him when he told her he wasn’t interested took the edge off his nervous system. He didn’t realize how much he enjoyed that feeling.

Noah launched into the story, telling Tiffany about how you’d met, your differences in beliefs, how you’d wound up at that party, what happened during the set, and how it had played out in the studio afterwards.

Once he finished his retelling, Tiffany narrowed her eyes at him.

“Do you always react so poorly when you get rejected?”

“What do you mean?” asked Noah.

“Like, after a girl rejects you, do you binge drink and take unknown drugs and hook up with other people? Is that how you handle it every time?”

Noah shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Wait. Is this your first time being rejected?” she asked in disbelief.

He took another sip of his coffee, ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth, and then gave the tiniest of nods.

Without hesitation, Tiffany burst out laughing.

“I’m so sorry,” she rushed to clarify, holding her hands in front of her as if to pause the conversation. “This is so inappropriate and I shouldn’t be laughing. Forgive me.”

She didn’t stop laughing despite her apology.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll wait,” Noah said, snark creeping into his voice.

“This feels really great to hear, honestly. I know it sucks for you, but I’m absolutely loving it.”

“Can you not rub it in my face, please?” he asked.

Tiffany did her best to calm her laughter and then smiled genuinely across the table at him.

“Noah, being rejected is not the worst thing that can happen. Trust me. I’ve been rejected many times. It builds character and toughens you up. Plus, I think your ego could use it. You’re totally full of yourself.”

“How so?” he said.

“Oh, I don’t know. Didn’t you say you were going to fight god a few weekends ago during your set?”

Noah chewed on his lip. “That was performative.”

“It comes from somewhere.”

“Not necessarily true.”

“Noah, come on,” she said, fixing him with an imploring stare. “Be for real right now. You got rejected one time and you completely lost your shit. Total self-sabotage. Do you know how many girls you’ve rejected? A lot. And we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep fighting the good fight, because shit happens.”

Noah, mid-humbling, stayed quiet and let her continue. As uncomfortable as it was to acknowledge his shortcomings, it was also refreshing to hear. He’d never experienced a lecture from a loving mother, but he imagined this was what it felt like.

“Plus,” Tiffany continued, “it sounds like she didn’t even reject you. She just wasn’t ready to fuck you in that moment. And why would she? Considering how you’d treated her.”

“How did I treat her?” he asked. He thought he’d been kind. Certainly more attentive than he’d been to other women in his life.

“I mean, do you even like her?”

“Of course!”

“Really? Because it doesn’t sound like it. You sent her into a mosh pit totally unprepared and let her get hit in the face.”

Noah winced. He did do that. It hadn’t even crossed his mind to mention it to you.

“You didn’t warn her about the content of your music and allowed yourself to get peer-pressured into playing a song that deliberately shits on everything important to her,” she continued. “And what? You’re surprised she doesn’t want to give up her virginity after a month of knowing you?”

Noah had to sit back after what felt like a massive blow to the center of his chest.

“I put more effort in with her than I have with anyone else,” he said, feebly trying to defend himself, though he knew he had no defense to stand on.

“Are you honestly telling me that was the best you could do?”

Noah didn’t answer, reluctant to say the words out loud, and Tiffany sighed.

“Look. If you really like the girl, go earn her.”

Noah fidgeted with the sleeve on the paper to-go cup. The concept of earning someone’s affection was new to him. He’d always been on the receiving end.

“How do I do that?”

Tiffany blinked back at him. “I mean, it’s not really my job to figure that out for you. I’m already giving you more emotional labor than I owe. But if you’re asking me, I’d start by figuring out why her faith is so important to her, rather than focusing on how you can get her to abandon it so you can sleep with her.”

“Ouch. I mean you’re right, but do you have to be so mean about it?”

“Trust me Noah, I’m doing you a kindness.”

He exhaled heavily through his nostrils, realizing that the magic pill to fix his problems was indeed, the toughest to swallow.

“Thank you,” he said, meeting her eyes again. “I appreciate you saying this to me.”

Tiffany nodded. “You’re welcome.”

“Can we be friends?” he asked. He meant it. Tiffany was clearly a positive influence in his life, and even if he didn’t want to be with her romantically, he still wanted her around in some way.

“No,” she said flatly. Noah’s face fell. “At least… not right now. This conversation helped, but I still need to lick my wounds. It isn’t fun being rejected, after all.”

“You can say that again,” he said.

“We can be friendly, though. I’ll still come to your shows because despite all your shortcomings, I unfortunately like your music.”

He chuckled, finding Tiffany’s candor refreshing. “You’re really enjoying the opportunity to insult me, aren’t you?”

“I really am,” she said, grinning from ear to ear. He saw a glimpse of the beauty he’d been so focused on in his drug-induced state. She truly was prettier than he’d given her credit for.

“I hope you find someone better than me,” he said. “I want you to be happy. You deserve a good guy.”

“Thank you,” she said, softer than before and he could tell she believed him.

Noah paid for both their coffees. It was the least he could do. They parted with a warm handshake that Noah had the urge to turn into a hug, but he could tell from her body language she wouldn’t want it.

For the first time since the party, he felt a little lighter in his chest. He fished around in his pocket for the silver ring, hooking it onto his pinky finger and rubbing his thumb along the “true love waits” inscription he’d memorized earlier. __________

Waking up on Sunday was an ordeal. You hadn’t even been drinking, but it still felt as if you’d had a stimulation hangover. Your ears rang from all the noise, and there was a deep pressure behind your eyes from all the crying you’d done.

You wiped away the crust from your eyelids and were immediately met with tenderness at your temple.

Oh, yeah. You’d been elbowed in the face last night.

Crawling down from your bed, you made your way over to the mirror above your desk to see just how bad it was. An ugly, angry red lump with purpled edges glared back at you.

The rest of your face hadn’t fared much better. Your makeup was smudged all around your eyes and your lipstick smeared down your chin.

You’d slept in your clothes, having been too exhausted to change into anything else when you got back around at around two in the morning.

The alarm on your phone rang, signaling it was time to get ready for church.

You sank down into your desk chair, having no motivation for anything.

You never skipped church unless you were sick. One of the things you prided yourself most on was your regular attendance. Plus, church was where you did all your socializing. All of your friends went. It wasn’t just church you liked, it was going out to lunch afterwards with everyone. It was treating yourself to a luxurious coffee drink beforehand. It was dressing up in your favorite outfits and performing on stage. And it was the satisfaction of knowing God was pleased with you.

Was God still pleased with you?

You stared at the lump on your head.

You’d resisted temptation. That didn’t count for nothing. You’d also allowed the situation to go much further than you should have, but you still listened to your gut when it told you to get out of there. That was enough of a success in your book.

Your thoughts drifted to Noah.

He’d been so forward last night, truly put himself out there, and had looked so dejected when you’d pulled away. But then again, hadn’t he said a few weeks ago that it was important to risk rejection? He seemed aware of what the stakes were.

You didn’t know exactly why you pulled away at that moment. Something told you it wasn’t the right time, but part of you worried that you wouldn’t get another opportunity like the one you’d had, and that perhaps you ruined your chances with him.

Maybe you did? Was that the worst thing?

Perhaps this was God’s way of telling you that Noah was not the right person for you. And if that was the case, you would need to get over the idea of him so you could continue to interact with him at community service without getting hurt.

You kicked your foot up on the desk in front of you and leaned your chair back, staring up at the ceiling and trying to find the central point of balance.

It was 10:30. If you were going to make it to church, you’d have to get up now and start getting ready. You’d have to leave no later than 10:45 to make it to the 11:00 service on time.

You continued to balance on the back legs of your chair, seeing if you could get it to balance on its own for five seconds.

10:45 came and went, and you did not leave your chair. You couldn’t make it to five seconds without it tipping, but you made it to four and a half before you gave up and went back to bed.

__________

You were awoken by a rapt knocking at your door. It definitely wasn’t your roommate, Stevie. She went home every weekend and didn’t come back until late in the evening.

You rolled out of bed and looked at the clock - 1:00 PM. Yawning off the remaining sleep, you opened the door. The first thing your eyes landed on was the white, deep v-neck that gave a peek to a tanned chest.

“Isaac? What are you doing here?” you asked. Isaac had walked you to your dorm before on nights when practice ended late and he insisted it was inappropriate to allow you to walk home alone, but he had never visited you before.

“I wanted to check on you. Can I come in?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said, hesitantly moving aside to let him through. Once inside, he leaned against your desk, crossing his arms as he observed you.

“So…,” you trailed off, sitting on your bed cross-legged.

“You weren’t in church today.” It was not an observation, but an accusation, and it immediately set your nerves on guard.

“Yeah,” you said, keeping your tone even. “I didn’t feel great.”

“Are you hungover?”

“No. I didn’t drink.”

He fixed you with a stare that let you know he didn’t believe you. You met his eyes, unwilling to back down.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged, likely figuring he wouldn’t get more out of you.

“Do you know where Ava is?” he asked. “She didn’t come either.”

“She didn’t?” This was news to you. You’d looked for her briefly after you’d left but had been unsuccessful in finding her and assumed she’d gone home.

“What happened last night? You look like you’ve been through it.” He stepped closer, eyes scanning up and down your face.

Instinctively, your hand went up to touch the bruise and Isaac’s eyes narrowed.

“It was just a mosh pit,” you said.

“Yeah?” he asked, tone laced with suspicion. “Is that why your purity ring is gone?”

You checked your hand to see it was, indeed, gone. Left in Noah’s back pocket. You sighed and tipped over sideways onto the bed.

“I lost it. But not like that,” you said.

“Sure,” he said, absolutely not believing you. You’d never been seen without the ring, and it was unlikely that it slipped off.

“I didn’t do anything,” you said.

“What is ‘anything’ to you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, look. I don’t owe you this information and it is in no way your job to make sure I’m pure, but I didn’t even kiss anyone last night. I seriously just lost the ring.”

Isaac’s eyebrow lifted up and he pursed his lips, staring you down to see if he could detect any signs of falsehood and when he found none, he deflated.

“Alright,” he said. “But in the future, could you not stay out so late? It was hard to carry the praise and worship service without you and Ava.”

“Sorry,” you said. “I’ll be there next week.”

“Promise?” he asked.

“Promise.”

“So how was the party?” he asked.

“Honestly?” you asked. He nodded. “Not great. Definitely not my scene. I got full-on elbowed in the face. Plus, everyone there was drunk and I couldn’t relate to anyone.”

You could tell Isaac was enjoying hearing your confession, the look in his eye now sporting a condescending glint. But, to his credit, he refrained from giving you any sort of ‘I told you so’ kind of lecture. After a beat of silence though, he started to chuckle at your misfortune.

“Does this feel good to hear?” you asked. He smiled in return and it was genuine.

Isaac wasn’t terrible. He seemed to truly care about you, and though he could be intrusive and overbearing at times, his heart was in the right place.

“Alright. I think I’m gonna let you get some more sleep,” he said after several minutes of catching up, tapping a knuckle on your desk to punctuate his visit. “I’d like to meet sometime this week to go over this Christmas showcase. Thursday night good for you?”

You nodded. “Thanks Isaac.”

You puffed out a mouthful of air as soon as you heard the door close, feeling like you’d just been the subject of an interrogation. It was clear now that your actions were being watched. Anything out-of-character could easily be reported back to your father, and while Isaac let you off the hook easily this time, you couldn’t be so sure he would continue if your behavior turned into a pattern.

You’d have to tread much more carefully if you wanted to fly under the radar.

_______________

The week passed quickly. Ava hadn’t returned any of your texts and you grew worried, but figured she would talk to you whenever she was ready. You wondered if something had happened at the party. Was she upset with you? Was she avoiding you?

Thursday’s meeting went well enough. Isaac had a lot of good ideas about the songs he wanted to perform and how to get the word out about it. The two of you worked closely together and you were starting to wonder if perhaps you’d judged Isaac too harshly for his actions the other week.

It was possible that Noah was just a distraction after all. Someone that helped you shake some of your delusions about Isaac so you could see him as an actual person instead of putting him on such a pedestal—because now that you interacted with each other as equals, he wasn’t all that bad. He was actually easy to get along with.

He didn’t give you that warm pooling sensation in your lower abdomen that Noah gave you, but connecting with him was enjoyable. You could see yourself working well as partners together.

“So you’re going to have to take the solo for Mary Did You Know, as well as O Holy Night,” he said. “You’re our top soprano.”

“Got it,” you said with a curt nod. “Are you going to do O Come O Come Emmanuel?”

“You know it,” he said, grinning proudly. His voice had a great timbre for that one and he knew it.

“Is Ava going to be participating?” you asked.

Isaac sighed. “I haven’t been able to get ahold of her.”

“Me either. I’m starting to get concerned.”

“If she doesn’t show up at church again on Sunday, maybe we should visit her,” he suggested.

“I think that would make me feel better,” you agreed.

As it turned out, however, you didn’t have to wait for Sunday. Ava was waiting outside your dorm when you got back from your meeting with Isaac.

“Hey,” she said, sitting with her knees curled up in front of her. She wore baggy sweatpants and an oversize hoodie.

“Hey,” you said. “Stevie’s home. If you want to talk privately, we should probably go for a walk or something.”

Nodding, she stood up.

You had walked out your dorm hall and halfway down the block before she got the nerve to speak.

“Sorry for being MIA,” she said, hands pushed deep in the pockets of her hoodie.

“Everything okay?” you asked.

“I think,” she replied. “I just needed some time to sort my feelings out.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. She nodded.

“What happened on Saturday? I couldn’t find you anywhere.” You tried to keep any judgment out of your tone.

“I had more to drink than I meant to,” she began. “I didn’t know my tolerance.”

“That’s an easy mistake to make, especially for your first time drinking,” you said.

“Yeah, but that’s not all that happened.”

The two of you had reached the edge of campus. A left turn would lead you past the party house. A right turn would lead you to the church grounds.

You let Ava take the lead, patiently waiting while she weighed her options.

She turned left. You nodded and continued walking with her.

“I want you to know that I don’t regret any of my decisions,” she prefaced. “I just had some complicated feelings about it.”

“Of course,” you said.

“Nick and I hooked up on Saturday night.”

Your footsteps faltered, but you recovered quickly. “How far did you go?”

“We had sex.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you stopped walking. “What?!” Your voice came out as a shout.

Ava inhaled slowly through her nostrils, nervously looking around. “I need you to make less of a deal about it than you’re making right now.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, tone hushed as you leaned closer to her. “But that’s a whole consent issue. If you’d been drinking…,” you trailed off.

“I was drunk when we were making out,” she said, “but I had sobered up by the time we went back to his place.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes.” She confirmed, with an earnest look in her eye.

“Okay,” you said, calming down a bit. You’d been about to find Nick and strangle him. “So you really don’t regret it?”

“I don’t,” she said. “But… I feel awful about not regretting it. I feel like I should, like it makes me a bad person for not. Like, we were always told that if we made a mistake like this, we’d feel terrible about it. And I don’t feel terrible. I liked it, even. And I want to do it again, if I can.”

“Oh,” you said, not sure what else to say. Growing up, you and Ava had always been on the same page about sex, frequently discussing what it might be like on your wedding night. Ava had always been a bit on the wild side, but you had no idea her opinions had changed quite this much.

“But I feel like I’m not allowed to feel this way and continue being involved in the church.”

You understood where she was coming from. Even after you and Noah barely touched each other, you felt weird about going to church the next morning. It was actually quite refreshing to hear that you weren’t alone in questioning the validity of your chastity pledge. You thought you were alone in that.

“Honestly, I don’t blame you,” you confessed. “It feels like there’s an expectation there that if you attend, you have to feel the way they think you should feel. Like if you have sex or something like that, and don’t immediately regret it afterwards, you’re not good enough.”

“Right? Yes!” she said, more lively than you’d seen her all evening. “And I just feel so disconnected with that message.”

“You’re not wrong for feeling the way you feel,” you reassured. “Honestly, I’m also learning that faith is a lot more complicated than they’d have you believe. Noah might be a good person to talk to about it.”

“You mean Nick’s friend?”

“Yeah. He’s helped me see a lot of blind spots that I’d had before regarding religion and sexuality.”

“Did you guys…?”

You shook your head. “No. But we’ve been talking a lot about some of the problems in the church, especially around sexuality. How did you feel immediately afterwards?”

“Well, I went to the bathroom and cried about it, because I initially was hit with a lot of guilt. But after I processed that, I felt kind of happy? Like I was finally living the life I wanted to live for once.”

“I’m glad you got that experience,” you admitted. “I’m sorry that you felt so guilty.”

“To be honest, I thought you would handle this information way worse.”

You laughed, rubbing the back of your neck. “Yeah, I’ve been pretty closed-minded.”

“I think we all started that way.”

“I’m glad you told me,” you said. “I was really worried about you.”

“I’m sorry it took so long,” she admitted. “I was afraid of what you’d think. You’re one of the most important people in my life. I didn’t want you to hate me. And I didn’t want to have to pretend to feel guilty about it to you, or lie about the fact that it even happened.”

You paused the walk to look at her. “I know I haven’t always been the most accepting person. I’m working on that. But I could never hate you. Ever.”

Ava looked back, eyes glassy. The two of you embraced in a lingering hug, of which the significance was not lost on either of you.

When you pulled back, you realized you weren’t too far away from the party house. It was Ava that continued walking towards it.

As the two of you approached, you heard music blasting from the house. You were one or two houses away when you heard Noah’s singing voice.

“I think they’re having band practice,” you said, and sure enough, when you got to the front of the house, you could see inside the basement windows. The light was on and the band members faced away from you. All of them played with intensity—though less intensity than they had done the previous Saturday, when they had the crowd’s energy to feed on.

Noah wore a cutoff black shirt and you could see that his tattoos extended across his back—what looked like flowers on each shoulder and vines connecting them. You couldn’t see anything else, but it piqued your curiosity.

At some point, someone in the band made a mistake and they stopped the song halfway through. Noah turned around to face the drummer and you only had just enough time to dash out of sight before you caught his eyes flick up to the window, squint, and then redirect to the guitarist.

“So how was it?” you asked Ava, resuming your walk.

“Honestly?” she began. “It was incredible. Like, definitely awkward, but also one of the coolest experiences of my life.”

“What happened?”

Ava launched into a (very detailed) retelling of how Nick made sure she was coherent and could give enthusiastic consent, and then how he didn’t judge her for how new she was. He walked her through it every step of the way, made sure she had a great time, and even allowed her to crash at his place afterwards, going as far as to cook her breakfast the next morning.

“He wasn’t the best cook, mind you,” she said. “But the gesture was very sweet.”

“Huh,” you said. “I might like Nick a little more now.”

“That’s their house, by the way,” she said, pointing across the street to a tan single-story home with an unkempt front porch and an overgrown lawn. Beer bottles littered the side of the porch. You could see the blinds were broken in some areas. And yet, you couldn’t help the warmth and affection from growing in the pit of your stomach imagining all the good times that had been shared between the men that lived here.

It was evident from the way they interacted with each other at the party that all of the band members were close with one another. For a moment, you had felt welcomed into that world. At least until you had a panic attack.

“Want to turn around?” you asked.

“Sure,” she agreed.

“So what do you think of their music?”

Ava laughed out loud. “I appreciate Nick’s passion, but I don’t think I ever want to be in a crowd like that again.”

“Same,” you agreed, linking your arm with Ava’s.

This time, when you passed the party house, the lights were off. For a brief second, you wondered what Noah was doing, but then brushed the thought away easily, because it didn’t really matter. You were more than happy simply spending quality time with Ava. Taglist: @reyadawn @sundamariis @noahsebastions @cyber-tiny @livingdeceasedgirl @just-randomm-stuff @xxkittenkissesxx @treacheryinblue @flowerynerds @1toreyouapart @badomensls

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