#[Out Of Laughter] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Post activity is at the highest at 4:00 pm EDT; notes peak at 10:00 pm EDT.

mrghostrat · 1 month

Text

oh my god i finally thought of a vampire au that i'm completely unhinged for. i am about to be so insufferable about this

vampire aziraphale x vampire hunter crowley. and no, neither of them realise they're hereditary enemies when they hook up. they're dorks and idiots your honour.

edit: fic is here c:

#i sent the synopsis to eviebane and i now have a video of her reading it and falling out of frame with laughter #it is my roman empire #vampire au #the rat is at it again #ratwips #ugh had so much fun drawing these frrrrrr #aziraphale #crowley #gomens #good omens au #good omens

9K notes · View notes

batfamhyperfixation · 1 year

Text

The Batkids: *all sitting on the floor huddled around a phone*

Bruce, walking up: What are you guys doing?

Tim: We're playing a new game. Its like truth or dare, except it is only dare, and all the dares are decided by a random word generator set for verbs, if we need more context we can randomly generate a noun too. Here, Steph is next, watch.

Steph: *clicks the generate a word button* 'appreciate'? *Clicks for a noun* 'Scene'? Am I supposed to go to a play? Look at the top of a mountain?

Damian: you have to get to the top of the hill, adequately appreciate the scene, and get back before your next turn, otherwise you are out

Steph: *gets up and runs out of the house*

Jason: My turn *presses the randomly generate a word button* Request *presses to randomly select a noun* cookies. Fuck yes! Alfred!

Cass, soaking wet, signing: not fair

Bruce: hey, I saw Dick's car out front, where is he?

Duke: he got 'vanish'

Tim: Still better than that time Jason got 'die'

Damian: me next, 'read'

Jason, walking in with a plate full of cookies: you gotta read and finish Pride and Prejudice before your next turn.

Damian: That's impossible! Without Dick that is only 5 people before me.

Tim: Impossible if you sit here complaining. Better hop to it.

Damian: *running to the library*

Duke, stealing a cookie: you wanna try, Bruce?

Bruce: maybe just once *clicks the button* 'grin'

Tim: Batman has to smile for an entire day fighting bad guys and dealing with the Justice League

Bruce: I don't like this game

#lets just say they didnt trust the other batkids to give them dares so this seemed like a safer option #still laughing that when i was clicking a random one for Bruce it came back with grin #like could you imagine all the villains getting creeped out when batman swoops in to stop them and he just has a huge plastered on smile on #or worse the justice league having to sit through a whole meeting with broody batman forcefully smiling the entire time #dick's laughter can be heard in the background the whole time but no one has seen him for a week #batfam #batkids #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batkids quotes #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas

13K notes · View notes

mirakurutaimu · 11 months

Note

Sorry if this is a bother but do you have the dead by daylight paint can tech video still? It's my favorite video ever I was going to show my friends but your twitter is locked now.. I miss her

i gotchu. 100% THE most legendary game of DBD i ever played

#askmi #dead by daylight #sadly they patched this out #beware my loud hyena laughter

3K notes · View notes

tenisperfection · 1 month

Text

Okay but picture Bobby just going about his life after the cruise where Chim’s old buddy Tommy with the abdomen scar flies a helicopter into a hurricane to save them and that was nice but that’s really the last Bobby thought he’d see of him and suddenly this man is everywhere. Buck and Eddie can’t stop talking about him on calls and then he heroically saves Chimney and brings him to his own wedding and—is he kissing Buck on the mouth?????

#overcome with laughter #i love that 911 is just going to let everyone else find out when buck kisses tommy #bobby nash #bucktommy #911 abc

861 notes · View notes

provider-of-guardians · 7 months

Text

Btw all you wholesome people that go on about finding whimsy and joy in the world have infected me to the point that I said stuff like that to my actual boss. He was ranting about people making the world sound so full of despair and I honest to God told my boss

"But there's like, soup. How can the world be so full of despair when there's soup in it"

And he agreed btw

#he sounded confused initially #at what I said #he was like 'what??'#and I was like 'there's soup tho 👉👈'#and he sounded like he was gonna cry with laughter at the wholesomeness of it as he agreed with me #I was gonna go on about ducks and other things but I got hung up on just saying soup fjdakfjal #h elp #provider of ramblings #I try to be more reserved and professional sounding in my workspace but man that one slipped out XDD

744 notes · View notes

narwhalsarefalling · 4 months

Text

todays herbarium story: new fucking way of dating things to confuse future archivists. someone wrote 66-1-3 as the date on a specimen. obviously i assumed 66 was the year and either the day was January 3rd or March 1st. put “1966” for the year in the file, marked as needing confirmation.

anyway one of the historical archivists went back and used the guys name to figure out about what month he confirmed it? and it was fucking 1866. the guy who cataloged it died in 1920.

i inadvertently handled a specimen thats older literally everyone i know and love and my only thought was mild irritation because it was dated weird.

we still dont know if it was found in January or March.

#the narwhal speaks #unfortunately i do not have a photo of it #i didnt think it was that old because someone had cut the speciman out and pasted it onto slightly newer paper #so it looked like it was still ‘old’ enough to be from 1966 #anyway. pissing myself with laughter #i think this is the oldest specimen we have in the herbarium and it has the most galaxy brain take of writing dates #stardate 66-1-3 today i fucking found a cool leucophyllum frutescens #also i didnt think it might have been 1800s because the oldest speciman i found before this was 1905

414 notes · View notes

artiststarme · 1 year

Text

In a surprising turn of events, it was Will that got Steve and Eddie together. He’d noticed their blushing gazes, stilted flirting, and lingering touches. He knew they must’ve been dating in secret from their friends, perhaps because they weren’t comfortable enough to tell anyone. So, he pulled them aside at one of Steve’s pool days and gave them some advice.

“Hey guys, I um. Look, I know you’re dating each other.” They looked at each other in panic but Will continued. “It’s fine, I didn’t tell anyone. But you can tell us when you’re comfortable. The whole Party will be supportive and it’s really inspiring to see the love you two have for each other. So uh, thanks. I’m happy for you guys.”

Will ignored their shocked pallor and pulled them each into a quick hug. He gave them one last smile and darted back outside to the pool party feeling good that he was able to congratulate his friends for something so important.

Unknowingly to him, he left Steve and Eddie inside to deal with impromptu coming-outs, small crises, and plans for first dates. Because before that conversation, neither Steve nor Eddie realized the other was interested.

So Will got them together and he was proud when he found out about it… until they did the same thing to him and Mike. Then his joy about the situation became horror (although the method did work once again).

#Will legitimately thought they were dating he didn't mean to cause them to panic #he feels a lot less bad after they embarrass him in front of Mike #Although it does score him a date so he can't be too mad #Jonathan just finds the entire situation hilarious and randomly bursts into laughter whenever he thinks about it for months after the fact #When Hopper finds out that Steve and Eddie helped get Will and Mike together he gives them the silent treatment for weeks #he never forgives them and he mentions his grudge frequently #stranger things #steddie #headcanon #steve harrington #eddie munson #byler #will byers #mike wheeler

1K notes · View notes

rodolfoparras · 10 months

Text

Pillow talk

Pairing: FTM! Peter B. Parker x Top Male Reader

Synopsis: In which Peter, a married man, gets off to the thought of being with someone other than his spouse

Content tags: 18+, MINORS DNI, emotional infidelity, cheating kink, pillow humping, masturbation, oral sex, Peter has a size kink, Peter being a bit of a pervert

A/n: as always pls excuse any mistakes I tried a new writing style here, also if you want you can listen to More Than Friends by Isabel LaRosa while reading this since it’s heavily inspired by it!

A tired sigh escapes Peter’s lips as his bones bleed into the sheets. The window’s cracked ajar, allowing cold autumn air to mingle with the smell of MJ’s perfume that’s lingering around in the room.

He’s stripped down to nothing but his tattered pink robe, searing skin exposed to the chilly sensation emitting from his wedding ring as it trails along the length of his body.

For the first time in a while Peter’s gotten some time alone.

MJ has taken Mayday for the day and left so that Peter could have the house to himself, claiming he’d been pent up for a while and supposedly needed a break.

Peter hadn’t argued against it but had instead taken the offer with grace since it’s true that he has been feeling pent up but not for the reason MJ thinks. Peter’s sure that if she knew the reason behind his recent behaviors she wouldn’t be so willing to help him.

For the last couple of weeks Peter’s been plagued with the realization that he didn’t hate his neighbor, not his next door neighbor because that man is a menace and Peter’s pretty sure the hate’s mutual.

Instead he’s come to the realization that he didn’t hate his neighbor on the floor below him, that neighbor being you.

At first he was sure that he hated you since you made his spider senses tingle, well at least that’s what he thought it was.

He’d first met you at a neighborhood block party. You had recently moved in or so he had heard and were more than eager to get acquainted with the neighbors for whatever reason.

You were lounging around in a lawn chair when he had first arrived with MJ and Mayday.

The poor thing threatened to give out under your weight but you paid it no mind as you entertained a conversation with a neighbor and nourished a beer in your hand.

When you rose to greet him, Peter noticed that you were a whole head taller than him so it was no wonder that you made his spider senses tingle.

He tried his best to ignore you but even when he couldn’t see you, he could smell you since you wore this stupid cologne that smelled stronger than anything MJ’s ever worn before and because of that he could always tell when you were lingering around.

If he thought that smelling and seeing you was bad then touching you was something else.

He’d purposely opted out of a handshake when you first greeted each other but that didn’t save his spider sense from going into overdrive after having your knees knock together while you were sat at the same table or having your elbows brush against each other while scooping up leftovers.

However even though you made his spider sense go off, Peter had quickly realized that you weren’t a threat, at least not a dangerous one.

You were friendly and always made sure to spark up a conversation with him, even when you'd be in a rush to something.

You’d go out your way to bring him any of his mail or packages that happened to be misplaced.

Hell you'd even baby sat Mayday a handful of times so it was safe to say you weren’t a threat. But for whatever reason Peter couldn’t seem to get you out of his head.

Especially after hearing your ever so polite voice protruding through his thin bedroom walls, your dirty words squeezing between his and Mj’s hushed conversations. Or seeing the way you basically engulfed whoever was in your arms but unlike the lawn chair they seemed to thrive from being in your embrace. And escaping the smell of your cologne turned out to be a hard feat since every other day someone would be prancing around in one of your shirts dozed in the smell of it.

He doesn’t even remember when he started making sure that he’d be the one to pick Mayday up from your house, just to see whatever lounge wear you’d be prancing around in that day and the bit of skin that always seemed to show through it.

He doesn’t remember when he started hoping that the mailman would misplace yet another letter or package just so that he could feel your calloused fingertips brushing against his as you handed him something.

He doesn’t even remember when he started biting his tongue just so he wouldn’t ask you who he had seen standing outside your door the previous night.

He shouldn’t be feeling like this. He has MJ and he has Mayday and as far as he knows he’s happy. He’s just pent up, like MJ had said.

It’s not like Peter and MJ don’t have sex. It’s just that she doesn’t do it for him, at least not anymore.

Every time they get intimate he’d have to fake an orgasm or jerk off after she’d gone to bed. Lately he’s even had to pretend to be asleep every time she tried to initiate something because he simply wasn’t up for it.

So he’d find other ways to entertain himself and one of the ways being with inappropriate thoughts of his neighbor.

And things kind of escalate from there not in the literal sense since you’re so fucking polite, wont even look at him twice, keeping a respectful distance to a man who has a kid and a wife.

But God Peter wishes that you did, so much so he imagines you pinning him to the bed, hip to hip, chest to chest, those strong arms and thighs caging him into the mattress

The tattered robe wrapped around his frame doesn’t compare to the way your body would feel on top of his. But he keeps it on anyway, closes his eyes and pretends that the hand leisurely dragging across his limbs is your body pushing down onto his.

He imagines the way your lips would slot together, hot breath washing over his cheek as you whisper dirty words to him.

A thumb finds his lips, teasingly tugging and taunting at the bottom lip. It feels nothing like your calloused fingertips but his tongue peaks past his lips, tasting the salty skin before sinking down on it.

He imagines how you’d tease and taunt him in that polite voice of yours that managed to whisper such dirty words, how you’d mock him for wanting to be fucked like a bitch in heat despite the wedding band digging into his skin, maybe you’d force him to say it just so that he hears it from his own lips or so that the whole neighborhood can hear how desperate he is.

He imagines you straddling his waist grinding into him while wearing nothing but your boxers, teasing him to point where he’s soaking through his own pair of underwear.

A hand slides down his chest, blunt nails dragging down his happy trail, only to stop at the fringe of curls atop of his cunt, tugging and taunting til he’s all worked up.

He imagines your long fingers thrusting into him , or making him finger himself while wearing his wedding band, prepping himself to be fucked by someone other than his spouse.

And God he’s already so wet, fingers easily coating in his arousal as he trails them up his cunt, and in that very moment he can't help but think how MJ never gets him like this.

But his fingers are not enough- this little fantasy of his is not enough but you’re too good to do anything about it so he rolls onto his stomach before propping the pillow between his legs, pretending it’s your face.

He imagines the bed creaking under your shared weight, and the way the smell of your cologne would engulf his senses. He imagines the way your calloused fingertips would sink into the supple skin of his thighs and the way your ever so polite voice would sound as you command him to properly sit down.

He starts moving slowly, rolling his hips cautiously, imagining the way your tongue would experimentally delve through his folds.

The pillow slides in between his folds, coarse fabric creating a steady pressure onto his engorged numb, not enough to overwhelm his senses but enough to send jolts of pleasure coursing through his body every time he moves his hips.

He imagines you wanting to take your time with him wanting to taste him, tongue licking a strip along his cunt up to his puffy clit where you’d continue to tease him until he’s begging and urging you to hurry before someone can find the two of you like this.

But you wouldn’t listen to him, wouldn’t care if anyone were to find you like this, hand slapping his ass in warning before you continued to do as you pleased.

His hand cups the globe of his cheek, much like the way you’d do it if you were with him, except his fingers feel nothing like yours. But the cold sensation from his ring as it slaps his searing skin sends sparks of pleasure coursing through his entire body and for one second it almost feels like you’re actually there with him.

The coarse fabric of the pillow case reminds him so much of your stubble and it’s so wrong but feels so right - the thought of being fucked by someone other than his wife as huffs and pants escape his lips, hips moving faster as he wanders back to his fantasy.

He imagines you having him so worked up to the point where Peter’s long forgotten about the fact that someone can just walk in on you two because the bed’s creaking and he’s loudly begging and pleading for you to stop teasing.

Eventually you'd take pity on him, showing him mercy by properly latching onto his puffy clit, eagerly suckling on it before tonguing his hole.

He adjusts his hips, and the angle in which the pillow hits his clit changes slightly, and intensifies the sensation along with it.

“Oh- oh fuck!” He squeals out, toes curling as he throws his head back.

He imagines the way you’d easily have him teetering on the edge of his release with Peter begging and pleading for you to let him finish.

He can almost taste it, can hear the Squelching sounds mingling with the sound of needy noises escaping his lips. He can even smell his arousal: strong and heady, knowing he’s probably stained the pillow under him and will need to wash it before MJ comes back but for now he can’t find it in himself to care.

He’s so close, needs just a bit more -and that’s when he picks up on the sound of your footsteps walking up the stairs, smells the scent of your cologne bleeding into the air.

You must be on your way to his apartment to bring yet another misplaced package.

And Peter knows it’s wrong but it feels so right, feels himself tip over the edge as you read what’s written on the parcel, out loud

“To Peter B. Parker, please handle with care”