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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.
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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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Had a 'fun' new experience today in the form of my first ever mammogram because I found a lump on my chest a few weeks ago, and when you find a lump, you get that shit checked out.
Ironically, the lump I went to get investigated turned out to be nothing, likely just a cyst that made its way to the surface, but they did find something else on the scan that requires me to do a follow-up ultrasound in six months. The doctor stressed that it is most likely a fibroid, but given my family history of breast cancer and general weird health fuckery, they're being vigilant and keeping an eye on it.
The mammogram itself was fine. The technician doing it kept complimenting me on the "pliable" nature of my breast tissue and how easy it was to smoosh me into the machine. I was like thanks, I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome; my body is basically made of only slightly more reinforced laffy taffy.
She said, "That explains that," and then proceeded to smush my tits into a pancake. Apparently, they were the most compliant tits she's worked with. I said thank you because what else can you do in that situation. And then she asked me if I wanted to know how much they weighed, and I said boy, do I?!
So she started reading off the results and was like, "17.7 lbs," and I was like, gosh, no wonder they feel so heavy, and then she kept talking and said, "And the other one weighs..."
And that's when I realized she didn't mean total.
She meant one boob was 17.7lbs.
So in case you've ever wanted to know, my right boob weighs 17.7 lbs, and my left one weighs 17.3 lbs, bringing the grand weight hanging off my chest to an even 35 lbs.
The tech was like "gosh! That's a lot for someone of your size!" and I was like "ya fucking think?!"
For a frame of reference, I weigh 136 lbs total. One-quarter of my weight is tits.
I am one-quarter titty.
And I'm telling that to the next doctor who suggests I lose weight.
Anyway. Remember to do regular breast exams, and don't be afraid of mammograms. Yes, they're checking for cancer, but they also tell you fun things like how much your chest weighs and whether or not your boobs are compliant.
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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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this was a comment on one of my post from a recent live event. it was photos of joyful queer buckaroos celebrating together and proving love is real through creation, community, and a trot of love. most important I AM LITERALLY IN PHOTO AS A REAL FLESH AND BLOOD HUMAN
it got me thinking about how DEEP AND VICIOUS the irony poisoning of these early internet communities goes. the way buds like this cannot fathom someone just being a sincere person unrelated to their OWN old days of cynical posting. it is fascinating, and i will admit, sad too
despite a DECADE of work, countless live events, 350 tinglers written well before large language models were a thing, there are still people who cannot imagine someone like me could exist. it is a strange place to be. not just part of me, but my entire EXISTENCE is often gatekept
it is easy to say ‘well chuck your art IS strange’ but honestly i think it is more than that. magical realism is common. there are stories about dinosaurs and bigfeet and unicorns. this scoundrel reaction is about two unspoken things: my art is neurodivergent, and my art is queer
heres the thing: I WILL BE FINE. what concerns me is not an issue of MYSELF, it is a concern for the other young outsider buckaroos who see comments like this one and think ‘is that what they will say if i express MY unique way? will i be dehumanized like this at every turn?'
i will be honest, i cannot say that WONT happen, but i CAN say this: for as deep as this irony poisoning goes, it is slowly dying. the way i was treated at the start of my career is LIGHTYEARS DIFFERENT from the way i am treated now. there is a massive shift towards sincerity
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY. to young artists trotting up, the things that i am harassed over and doubted for and made fun of for are NOT tangental to what has made me successful, THEY ARE LITERALLY THE SAME THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME SUCCESSFUL. YES I AM STRANGE, WHAT OF IT?
the things that you tuck away for fear of a review that says ‘there is a PROBLEM with this art because it has always been done another way’ THOSE ARE YOUR SUPERPOWERS. the gatekeepers want you to tuck those parts of yourself away because THEY TUCKED AWAY THOSE PART OF THEMSELVES
never forget that your unique way is PURE UNFILTERED 100 PERCENT ROCKET FUEL. it will stick out (maybe, if you are lucky, scoundrels will even say that someone like you could never actually be real), but sticking out isnt so bad when you are waving the flag of love.
in fact, when youre waving the flag of love, sticking out is pretty dang cool. what are flags for, after all? LOVE IS REAL BUCKAROOS. thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed this long post then please consider preordering BURY YOUR GAYS.
LETS TROT
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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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I just had the most bizarre and satisfying GTS trade ever.
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You see this offer right here? At first, I dismissed it as impossible because Voltorb evolves into Electrode at a much later level than 10.
But then, in all my nerdery, I remembered that in-game trades with NPCs from before gen 5 give you Pokemon at the same level as the one you chose to trade, which can lead to underleveled evolved Pokemon. And it JUST SO HAPPENS that Electrode is one of those Pokemon in gen 1. In order to get it you need to trade a Raichu, which can be under level 10 because Pikachu evolves with a stone and is catchable at level 3. And then I discovered the Brock Through Walls glitch, which allows you to go literally anywhere in the game before you even have any badges.
So I did what any rational person would do on a Wednesday evening and spent $9.99 on the 3ds Virtual Console version of Pokemon Blue, glitched myself to Celadon City to buy a Thunderstone, let all my Pokemon faint so that I could warp back to Pewter City since its the last Pokecenter I healed at, caught a Pikachu in the nearby Viridian Forest, evolved it, glitched myself into Cinnabar Island, and claimed my completely legit yet also illegal lvl 7 Electrode named Doris.
Now I was half sure that Pokebank would realise how messed up this Pokemon was and not allow it into gen 7...
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...but it went through perfectly.
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So, thanks for the Poipole, Mars of war2. 😜
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Either this person really really really wanted a specific kind of Electrode from gen 1 that only supernerds would bother to get, or they were being a stupid troll and I just played them like a damn fiddle.
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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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When people get a little too gung-ho about-
wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?
ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.
That’s…wild. What was I talking about?
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narwhalsarefalling · 3 hours
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USians be eating beesed churger and sitting in larking pots
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narwhalsarefalling · 4 hours
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studio trigger understood the assignment. i would let her wreck me.
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narwhalsarefalling · 4 hours
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narwhalsarefalling · 4 hours
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(+part 2)
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narwhalsarefalling · 4 hours
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every autistic person watching this episode of dungeon meshi:
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narwhalsarefalling · 4 hours
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if it was about 15 years ago i’d already have seen 12 different AMVs of chimera falin set to three days grace animal i have become on my feed but that just doesn’t happen anymore. because of woke
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narwhalsarefalling · 4 hours
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narwhalsarefalling · 4 hours
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narwhalsarefalling · 5 hours
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So that’s basically how it went down
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narwhalsarefalling · 6 hours
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🍊☁️
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